# Massachusetts Rebound



## WheatenLover (Sep 8, 2022)

This my second time living in Mass. I lived in Boston for 20 years, before I moved to PA.

So last Thursday, we set out for Mass. We left at 11 a.m., not 7 a.m. as planned. I could have used an extra day in PA, but this has been the case all along. We didn't get out of PA the first day. Made it as far as the Poconos, near Scranton, I think. It was starting to get dark, so time to go to a Comfort Inn. They were wonderful, and took dogs, and the dog behaved (no barking except once). I was surprised.

The next day we started out at 11 again, but planned for 10 a.m. No matter. My son swears the Mass trees are different than the CT trees, so he figured out we were in Mass before we saw the sign. What a talent he has!

Thursday afternoon, the dogs started up. Cousin's 2 mini Aussies kept charging Aidan and barking and growling. They didn't bite or hurt Aidan in any way. Aidan is not used to this response from dogs and was scared. I protected him. Cousin's friend came over. His family has bred and shown purebred dogs for 50 years. He told the male dog to stop doing that to Aidan. And the male dog did! The next day was a lot more peaceful. Only a couple of charge and barks by the female dog.

Saturday, Aidan found his voice. He barked at the other dogs nonstop. By today, they haven't barked at one another at all, but it is early yet. They get along fine. Right now all are asleep on the kitchen floor. If I go in the yard with them, they get along fine.

The smallest dog looks to me for protection from Aidan's barking. It is obvious that the dogs miss having a female around, since Cousin's wife died several years ago. They are very affectionate, and I am careful that Aidan is not around when I return their greetings.

Aidan nipped a home health aide. He has never done this before. She entered a restricted area, which is the kitchen and dining room, and in which I was keeping the dogs sequestered. Aidan rushed her and jumped up and nipped her finger. Not a bite - no broken skin, just a tiny red spot, like a bruise.

The you know what hit the fan. I supplied proof of Aidan's rabies vaccination. Then we found out that the agency didn't do the required criminal records check, and this young woman had just gotten out of a year in prison for a violent attack on another woman, and was on probation, and wore a bracelet. Well, that's no excuse for Aidan's behavior, but we don't know what caused it, especially since it is a first. Also, Aidan had met the woman the day before, and was his usual friendly self.

The latest theory is that he sees them the next day, without anyone near them and thinks they are an intruder. Yesterday, he went after the maid, but knocked over the vacuum and got tangled in the cord. The maid was someone he'd met the day before. She stepped outside, and I took advantage of him being tangled up and captured him. That time he got out of the restricted area by shoving strongly past me and charging into the next room. This was my fault, as far as Aidan getting loose.

Wrangling three dogs is time-consuming. I never had more than one dog at a time, so this is interesting. I look at my day, and between helping my cousin and wrangling dogs, I seem to get very little else done.

Next time: Daily life in the wilds of Mass, so far. There are mice (but not for long). Dogs complicate mouse killing.


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## Blessed (Sep 8, 2022)

WheatenLover said:


> This my second time living in Mass. I lived in Boston for 20 years, before I moved to PA.
> 
> So last Thursday, we set out for Mass. We left at 11 a.m., not 7 a.m. as planned. I could have used an extra day in PA, but this has been the case all along. We didn't get out of PA the first day. Made it as far as the Poconos, near Scranton, I think. It was starting to get dark, so time to go to a Comfort Inn. They were wonderful, and took dogs, and the dog behaved (no barking except once). I was surprised.
> 
> ...


Well, it takes a little time for humans and dogs alike to settle in. I have baby gates that I use to keep the dogs away from the front door.  I also use them to block the dogs in when I have anyone other than family in the house.  I only have one that wants to nip or bite at a stranger, a repair person in the house. I always put the other two in with Mr. Cranky Butt as I don't want to make him feel bad. 

Aidan needs a while to get settled in his new home and his new dog family. It has been over two years since I took in Mr. Big when his Dad passed. Even now there are squabbles between him and my little boy.  Mainly at meal times. Also at bedtime, the two littles sleep on the bed, big boy likes to sleep on the floor on my side of the bed.  They throw a fit when big boy comes in the room but once he is on my side of the bed they settle down.

You will settle into a routine soon enough.  Everyone will know what to watch for among the pups, just work on their problems one at a time.  For instance, right now when treats are handed out maybe Aidan needs to be first to let him know this is home.  After a couple of weeks change it up to the new family.   That way they all realize we are all loved. I did that and I have no trouble at treat time.

Maybe ask @hollydolly as she has a direct line to a dog whisperer!


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## Sliverfox (Sep 8, 2022)

With my old Boston Terrier,,, if  my son  had  his dog  with him  I would  crate my dog up till she learned to settle down.
It took  a few times  but  they soon got along.

The baby  gate idea is a good one.


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## Jules (Sep 8, 2022)

The first of your many seconds in Mass.  Many new things for all of you in the household to settle into. It will all work out.  Your cousin must be thankful to have family with him.


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## DaveA (Sep 8, 2022)

Welcome back to Mass. We live on the south coastal area of Mass.  Born and lived here all of my life.  Sorry that you are having dog problems.  We've always had dog and cats but never any biting problems?  Our family totals 6 adults (here in the house) and with visiting friends, the dogs are well acclimated to humans and other familiar animals.

Hopefully They'll settle in, sooner rather than later.


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## WheatenLover (Sep 9, 2022)

Cousin's friend, the dog whisperer came by yesterday. He thinks, as do I, that the dogs are playing. By now, Aidan would have figured out not to bark at the other dogs if he didn't want to get lunged at. Plus, they chase each other afterward, and Aidan's tail is wagging to beat the band. The other two don't have tails, but their rear ends kind of wiggle. No tails! Maybe if I felt through their fur I'd find a tiny little stub. I think they are getting used to each other. All has been calm since 5:30 a.m.


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## Sliverfox (Sep 9, 2022)

To bad   your  cousin's friend the dog whisper isn't in PA.
Some  how I feel I'm failing with training Mac.

We live between two roads ,the lower one has more traffic.
The one we live on has  faster  traffic even though its posted  35 .
So  he is on the leash every time  we go out.

I've suggested a fence  but  hubby   thinks  Mac will dig  his way out.
Shock collars are  something  I don't want  to use.


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## WheatenLover (Sep 10, 2022)

Sliverfox said:


> To bad   your  cousin's friend the dog whisper isn't in PA.
> Some  how I feel I'm failing with training Mac.
> 
> We live between two roads ,the lower one has more traffic.
> ...


If you bury 1' of chicken wire on either side of the fence, your dog will not be able to dig his way out. He will be able to dig down to the chicken wire, so it must be buried shallowly. I'd google this is I were you. It's what I've heard at the dog club works, but you need some verification, other than second hand anecdotal evidence.


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## WheatenLover (Sep 10, 2022)

The Odoban disinfectant & odor killing spray arrived today. Yay! They have citrus now, which is better than smelling eucalyptus, but not as wonderful as smelling an orange.

I have organized and disinfected the pantry. I am about 75% through the job of cleaning and disinfecting under the sink. Next, there is an entire double upper cabinet with 2 shelves filled with old spices. Once that it is done, I can put more stuff there. Even if the spices were fresh, I don't see how anyone could have a use for all of them.

Currently there is so much stuff on the counter that I can barely find a space to put a plate down. Everything needed is out, since that's the only way Cousin can reach it. Plus 2 crock pots, a big container of flour, and tons of stuff that Cousin very rarely needs. But there is nowhere to put it all. Every space in this house is crammed with stuff, except for the wheelchair paths.

I am concentrating on the kitchen. Once we get done eating our way to room in the freezer (frozen breaded chicken and fish, and hamburgers), I need room to cook. 

Simultaneously, I intend to attack the bedrooms. The drawers of the empty dressers need to be cleaned and lined, the bookcase in my room, the same. Mattresses need to be cleaned and disinfected. No one has been upstairs since Cousin's wife died, 5 years ago, and Cousin hasn't been up there in a decade.

We are taking a little trip to Cousin's daughter's house. She has not spoken to him since her mother died (or to anyone in her mother's family). Reason unknown. We are taking all the years of wrapped Christmas and birthday presents to his two grandchildren. I hope we are able to offload them as they numerous and stashed everywhere upstairs. I don't see this visit as being a great idea, but a chance to get rid of extra stuff is too enticing.

My mousetraps will be delivered next week. So much for speedy delivery by Amazon for in-stock items. I will become a mass mouse killer. Not to put too fine a point on it, but every morning I have to wash all the silverware and the container and put new paper towels in the silverware drawer. Apparently it is a mouse convention area. My hating the thought of killing mice days are over. That drawer has already been cleaned and disinfected.

I'm getting some sort of concrete (ready-mix?) to put in holes in the field stone foundation to eradicate some entrances. This work, I will call on one of Cousin's friends to help me with. Luckily, a couple who lives down the street has been good friends with Cousin for decades, and I hit it off with both of them immediately. My house in the country in PA has a rubble stone foundation. Never buy a house with a foundation like that. Mice abound, especially in winter.

This must be a good thing. Every  morning I wake up with aching muscles. Today, none, so I will have to step up my activity. I want to walk the dog around the property, which borders on a 600-acre wildlife sanctuary. Cousin is worried we (son, me, dog)will get attacked by a bear, bobcat, or fisher cat. He told me where to find the hidden bear spray. I'm more interested in finding the hidden rifle, but there isn't one.

I went to lunch at the senior center. It was fun. I had met a guy when Cousin and I were out, and he was there, thank goodness. He is a retired chef and opera singer. He sews, plays the piano, violin, and recorder, too. His range is from the highest note to the lowest, which is unusual, I guess. He sang a song to me, at my request, and he is a wonderful singer. He has been legally blind since birth. He is an interesting guy, so we have a lot to talk about. Since he can't drive, we are going on a fabric-hunting expedition since the only place to buy it here is at Walmart. We both have the same feelings about fabrics, a first for me to find someone like that. IOW, it speaks to us and says "I am the one you are looking for!" A person has to look at tons of fabric to find "the one". This expedition likely won't take place until spring because I have so much to do here.

I wear my wedding ring, but I think I better tell him I'm married, and totally unavailable for anything but friendship. Just in case. I think he needs a friend to whom he can talk about his interests ... the people here like him, but they don't seem to have much in common with him. I just like hearing about things I know nothing about.

The lunch was homemade by the volunteer chef, and was really good. Next week, they are having a CBD person from the MA govt to talk about CBD's benefits, a lunch that will be catered. Luckily my son will be going with Cousin, so I don't have to sit through that. They have these lunches twice a week, and breakfast once a week.


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## WheatenLover (Sep 10, 2022)

Blessed said:


> Well, it takes a little time for humans and dogs alike to settle in. I have baby gates that I use to keep the dogs away from the front door.


We are a baby gate family, too! Mine wouldn't fit in the car. Thank you for reminding me to get some. Much appreciated.


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## HoneyNut (Sep 10, 2022)

WheatenLover said:


> every morning I have to wash all the silverware and the container and put new paper towels in the silverware drawer. Apparently it is a mouse convention area. My hating the thought of killing mice days are over. That drawer has already been cleaned and disinfected.
> 
> I'm getting some sort of concrete (ready-mix?) to put in holes in the field stone foundation to eradicate some entrances.



Oh this brings back the memories!  I wish you lots of success in your upcoming mouse wars.  

Are there not any cats to help with rodent control?


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## Ruthanne (Sep 10, 2022)

I'm glad you got to Massachusetts ok.  Best wishes for a nice life there.


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## HoneyNut (Sep 10, 2022)

WheatenLover said:


> My mousetraps will be delivered next week. So much for speedy delivery by Amazon for in-stock items.


Here is a YouTube video of some good traps that can be used with a big bucket:


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## Jules (Sep 11, 2022)

Lots of work but you seem to be thriving on it, @WheatenLover   You also have lots of new social activities.  This next phase of your life is working out for you.


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## katlupe (Sep 11, 2022)

I am so glad you are sharing with us! It sounds like your cousin needed you there.


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## WheatenLover (Sep 13, 2022)

I think this is my 12th day here, not counting the day I arrived. I am as busy as a one-armed paper hanger. I have only been on the forums a few times, never long enough to do much because something always interrupts me. I try to type fast, read fast, and to remember to hit like buttons.

I fix breakfast for Cousin and the dogs, refill water bowls and coffee cups. Then what? Trent has hearing problems, which we will address when I near the end of things on my to-do list. Radio comes on, news comes on (via Google), and it is loud. Everything is loud here, except for Son and I, and this includes the dogs. Cousin's dogs have a higher-pitched bark. Aidan sounds like a gigantic dog when he barks -- so 1 baritone and 2 tenors. 

Mostly I do chores, tell Cousin to find a way to make a list (his right hand is nearly paralyzed) so he will stop tellling me what needs to be done. You guys think I talk a lot, but I don't. My cousin is literally the talkiest person I know. I knew that. I did.

I will take some pictures. I think today is supposed to be sunny. I want to show you Cousin's dogs. They are well-trained and have tons of ribbons in obedience, agility, and tons of other stuff. The girl, Tika, is super affectionate. She definitely misses Cousin's wife, who used to shower her with attention. The male, Arlo, is a more sedate affection seeker. I like them both, but secretly prefer Arlo. I have to make sure Aidan eats. Arlo is especially good at eating his food, and then the other dog's food. The quick or the dead, is his motto.

Amazon will finally deliver the 6 mouse traps on Saturday. Then I will likely order more. I think the biggest problem is that there are 2 open trash cans in one of the lower cabinets. I will tackle the problem of getting Cousin to let me put cans with lids on them that dogs and mice can't get into. This is harder than you think. Cousin will say that he can't throw away trash in a can with a foot pedal. This is true. BUT I am the one throwing away the trash, and if I ever leave, even for a day, I will put a mousey trash can back in the cabinet.

Thank heavens fall hasn't arrived yet. I'm not ready for the leaves to turn, which too soon results in a barren landscape to look at.

Cousin wants to do as much as he can for himself. Really, I don't know how he lived here alone without help. Because of the MS, he has spasms and his feet fall off the foot rests on the wheelchair. He cannot put them back; I do it. He cannot walk at all.

His right hand is nearly fully paralyzed. He's taken up drumming to try to get it to work again, and he's actually having success. He can see progress. These drums are more or less silent. He has been a drummer most of his life.

Meanwhile, I am his scribe.

We are almost done eating the food in the freezer. I hope this happens soon because meals are boring. Last night I cooked nearly all the Chinese pre-made food in the freezer. I served shrimp fried rice, beef & broccoli, pork dumplings, mixed veg, and corn chowder for dinner. All from the freezer.It is my goal to make meals with real food soon.


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## Pepper (Sep 13, 2022)

Generally speaking, where are you in Massachusetts?  I lived in Lynn, on the coast, 5 miles south of Salem.  I love Massachusetts.  It's a state that cares about its residents.


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## Sliverfox (Sep 13, 2022)

@ Wheatenlover,, you have your  work cut  out  with the mice,, good luck .
If you find   where they are getting  in, inside the house.
Stuff  coarse steel wool in the hole  then spray over it with that  spray insulation foam.
I think there may even be   spray insulation that is supposed to repel rodents. 

Almost  forgot son has  terrible problem with mice coming into his  garage, house , RV.
He was  using  peppermint oil to discourage them.

As for  your cousin's  hands,, does he do finger exercises too,, stretches?
How about the wrist  for carpal tunnel?
Check online  & suggest  new ones  for  him.


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## WheatenLover (Sep 14, 2022)

HoneyNut said:


> Oh this brings back the memories!  I wish you lots of success in your upcoming mouse wars.
> 
> Are there not any cats to help with rodent control?


No cats. Rodent control will work just fine, once those darned traps arrive from Amazon.

One reason I got a Wheaten is that they are good mousers. However, Aidan has only caught one mouse in his 11.5 years. He tries, but they are quicker than he is.


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## WheatenLover (Sep 14, 2022)

Pepper said:


> Generally speaking, where are you in Massachusetts?  I lived in Lynn, on the coast, 5 miles south of Salem.  I love Massachusetts.  It's a state that cares about its residents.


Pioneer Valley, 7 miles from CT border.


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## WheatenLover (Sep 14, 2022)

Sliverfox said:


> @ Wheatenlover,, you have your  work cut  out  with the mice,, good luck .
> If you find   where they are getting  in, inside the house.
> Stuff  coarse steel wool in the hole  then spray over it with that  spray insulation foam.
> I think there may even be   spray insulation that is supposed to repel rodents.
> ...


Okay. Yes he does finger exercises, and I'll tell him to check out new ideas. He goes online, it just takes him longer to accomplish things.


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## Meanderer (Sep 14, 2022)

@WheatenLover What a great Diary thread!  Thank you and continued good luck!


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## Sliverfox (Sep 14, 2022)

How did the trip go to your cousin's  daughters house?

Got to thinking  & worrying  for  you,  about how it went.


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## katlupe (Sep 14, 2022)

I had a bad mouse problem in my prior home. One month I got 17 in my pantry! I had three cats but the reason they couldn't get them all was due to clutter blocking them from catching them. They got a lot outside. The pantry was closed off from the kitchen so hard for a cat to get those. It got so bad I had to put a trap on my stove when I finished in the kitchen. Not even a half hour later the trap would snap and I'd have one. 

We had to remove all the walls and ceilings because they were living inside of them. My husband removed the living room wall ceiling and all of a sudden cat food rained out of the ceiling onto the floor! They had been swiping cat and dog food out of the dishes that I left out for them. Not good to leave any in an open dish. The wood traps worked best but we could not keep up. At times we might go two years with barely any but then they'd be back. Loads of firewood from a logger would bring even more back in. Good luck!

I love your diary!


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## RadishRose (Sep 14, 2022)

@Wheaten, best of luck with the mouse problem. You are really a blessing for your cousin. I enjoy reading your diary!


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## Sliverfox (Sep 18, 2022)

Hope all is well with Wheaten.


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## hollydolly (Sep 18, 2022)

Sliverfox said:


> Hope all is well with Wheaten.


she posted on Wednesday...


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## WheatenLover (Oct 3, 2022)

Pepper said:


> Generally speaking, where are you in Massachusetts?  I lived in Lynn, on the coast, 5 miles south of Salem.  I love Massachusetts.  It's a state that cares about its residents.


The big problem here is the services for totally disabled old people (and others, I'm sure) are not being provided. My cousin is working on that, in conjunction with many agencies and a state senator.

A social worker came by today. She said that he had to work 10 hours (a week? a month?, not sure) to receive services under some new program, even though he is 100% permanently disabled and elderly. To get around the work requirement, he has to lie. He won't lie. He is going to put volunteer work on the form - work he actually does, which involves talking only.

This is nuts. He is supposed to receive a lot of services, including a personal care attendant (PCA), 7 days a week. He hasn't had it for more than a day a week in 2 months. The agency sent him a bill for August for over $400 for his co-pays, but he received no PCA services in August.

So when I get time, I'm going to look into fraudulent billing.  Meanwhile, Cousin is hiring a retired nurse, and paying for her services twice a week.


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## WheatenLover (Oct 3, 2022)

All is well. I spend a lot of time doing stuff and my stamina has increased.

The three dogs all think I am "Mom" and they follow me everywhere -- it's a parade. I have really good nonverbal communication with Cousin's dogs, which surprised me. It's nearly as good as I have with Aidan. The difference between the dogs' vocabularies is huge, though. I'm going to teach Cousin's dogs some words for things. They've both got blue ribbons in obedience, so that's not a problem. Aidan doesn't exactly shine in that area - he thinks about obeying before he does it unless there is a treat involved.

Cousin is going to be divested of some funds so I can get his dogs beds. There are no soft surfaces in this house except for beds. The dogs want to sleep with me, and that would be fine, except Aidan won't allow it. Cousin sleeps in his wheelchair until one of these services can get him a "meat hook" so he can sleep in a bed for the first time in 4 years. Really, being in a wheelchair for so long is not good for him, but it is like fighting the Roman Army to get things done for him. He handles that, and runs the situations that occur by me for my concurrence. 

I have started cooking real homemade meals, which Cousin loves. He smells food cooking and starts early with the "when is dinner?" routine. It's like a kid asking are we there yet. Dinner takes forever to make, either because there is no counter space, so I have to move things around to make room to cook - and this takes some ingenuity because there is no free space to move it to. I figure this adds 1-1.5 hours to my dinner preparation, no lie.  Well, that time does include stopping to do something for Cousin... put his compression shoes back on, make him coffee, get him a snack ... and things for the dogs, too.

Anyway,  I am busy all the time. I get up between 3:30 and 5 a.m., nap for 2 hours in late morning, and about 1/3 of the time take a long nap after dinner. This is really like going to bed super early. My sleep schedule is all screwed up, but I get 8 or 9 hours every 24 hours.

I do have a feeding schedule. People get fed at 6 am, 12 noon, and 6 pm. Dogs get fed at 5 am and 5 pm. My dog gets fed at mid-morning and after the people eat dinner (that is what he likes). Dogs get night-night cookies at 8 or 9 p.m. and a little snack at noon. Cousin's dogs would eat all day long if they could - even dog food.


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## katlupe (Oct 4, 2022)

Wow, that is some schedule you have. I can see how your cousin would be looking forward to the meals you make. Counter space is important so hope you can find a way to create some. Glad you are doing well!


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## Trila (Oct 4, 2022)

WheatenLover said:


> All is well. I spend a lot of time doing stuff and my stamina has increased.
> 
> The three dogs all think I am "Mom" and they follow me everywhere -- it's a parade. I have really good nonverbal communication with Cousin's dogs, which surprised me. It's nearly as good as I have with Aidan. The difference between the dogs' vocabularies is huge, though. I'm going to teach Cousin's dogs some words for things. They've both got blue ribbons in obedience, so that's not a problem. Aidan doesn't exactly shine in that area - he thinks about obeying before he does it unless there is a treat involved.
> 
> ...


It sounds like you are really keeping busy, and enjoying the challenges.  I love that you have a schedule, and are following a regular routine!


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## RadishRose (Oct 6, 2022)

Your cousin is blessed to have you Wheaten. 
I'm glad it's going well for you!


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## Jules (Oct 6, 2022)

It sounds like you’re all thriving in this new busy routine.  

Hope the mice aren’t still thriving.


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## Sliverfox (Oct 7, 2022)

Wheaten?   Is your  son  still with you?
Can he help  you someway?

An idea about  counter /work space is   see if you can  get a handy  man to make you a fold down extension.
Our RV had one,, very handy item .
 It was big enough to hold an electric griddle.

If you aren't sure what I mean ,,, check out some Rvs or speak with a carpenter.


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## WheatenLover (Oct 8, 2022)

Jules said:


> It sounds like you’re all thriving in this new busy routine.
> 
> Hope the mice aren’t still thriving.


The mice are not thriving. I still have to be diligent, but I've caught many of them.


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## WheatenLover (Oct 8, 2022)

Sliverfox said:


> Wheaten?   Is your  son  still with you?
> Can he help  you someway?
> 
> An idea about  counter /work space is   see if you can  get a handy  man to make you a fold down extension.
> ...


Yes, my son is still here. We are working on making space in his bedroom for him to walk. Right now he is sleeping in the living room, which is not ideal.

The extension would block the entrance to the kitchen, even when folded down. Every little 1/4" counts with a big wheelchair and a standard doorway into the kitchen. There is no way to widen the doorway. The small space between it and the back door is filled with electrical wiring.


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## WheatenLover (Oct 8, 2022)

Trila said:


> It sounds like you are really keeping busy, and enjoying the challenges.  I love that you have a schedule, and are following a regular routine!


I have to, Trila. Otherwise I am besieged by hungry dogs and hungry people. Dogs, as you likely know, love routines. So does Cousin. I get that - he's been in this wheelchair for 4 or more years, 24/7/365. He has to have some of his needs/wants met automatically. Having to ask for help all the time isn't fun - at least it wouldn't be for me. I've gotten pretty good at anticipating his needs before he has to ask -- this mostly revolves around food and coffee.

The dogs are getting along well, unless Cousin's dogs come into my bedroom and get on the bed. Then Aidan becomes Mr. Growly/Barky at the top of his lungs. Cousin's dogs just lie on the bed and look at him and roll their eyes at me. To solve this, I leave the room, the dogs follow me, and I double back and close the door.

This happens because I get up too early for Aidan, so I leave the door ajar when I go downstairs. I don't care if all three dogs sleep with me, but Aidan obviously is not going for that idea.

Right now they are all sleeping on the kitchen floor. Peace and quiet reigns until Cousin gets up. Two things I love are quiet and lack of clutter and organization of stuff. Right now, I am basking in one of those!


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## Trila (Oct 8, 2022)

WheatenLover said:


> I have to, Trila. Otherwise I am besieged by hungry dogs and hungry people. Dogs, as you likely know, love routines. So does Cousin. I get that - he's been in this wheelchair for 4 or more years, 24/7/365. He has to have some of his needs/wants met automatically. Having to ask for help all the time isn't fun - at least it wouldn't be for me. I've gotten pretty good at anticipating his needs before he has to ask -- this mostly revolves around food and coffee.
> 
> The dogs are getting along well, unless Cousin's dogs come into my bedroom and get on the bed. Then Aidan becomes Mr. Growly/Barky at the top of his lungs. Cousin's dogs just lie on the bed and look at him and roll their eyes at me. To solve this, I leave the room, the dogs follow me, and I double back and close the door.
> 
> ...









 Everyone needs to have their own "personal space"...and it sounds like Aiden has claimed your bed as his space!

As you arrange things your way, the clutter will slowly go away.  Give it time.  For now, just enjoy your moments of quiet!


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## Jace (Oct 8, 2022)

Suggestions re: mice...
For. Basement... mothballs
For kitchen or other area(s)...peppermint oil...sprinkle
Re(a)d..they have a keen sense of smell...these help inhibit.
Good Luck!


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## RadishRose (Oct 15, 2022)

Wheaten are you able to make some freezer meals ahead and then just thaw and bake, just heat up?


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## WheatenLover (Oct 20, 2022)

Sliverfox said:


> Wheaten?   Is your  son  still with you?
> Can he help  you someway?
> 
> An idea about  counter /work space is   see if you can  get a handy  man to make you a fold down extension.
> ...


Frankly, the counter space is a problem because Cousin and his deceased wife have to much stuff for the space to put it in. It seems like everything known to mankind is shoved willy-nilly into every piece of furniture, cabinet, drawer, closet, and room. 

A few days ago, something Cousin ordered arrived in a green plastic container. He debated keeping the packaging in case he could use the plastic someday to make windows for one of his train sets. I said, if you can find a place to put it that is not in the kitchen, keep it. Otherwise, it was trash a few minutes ago and it is still trash now. Buying a small piece of green translucent plastic is cheap, if he needs it. Meanwhile with one paralyzed hand and the other one with limited usefulness, he can't make train windows and fit them into trains. And he will never be able to.

Everything is so disorganized that when Cousin asks me to find something that is either in the X, Y, or Z, I just say that if I run across it, I'll bring it to him. I am not searching for something someone else added to the stuff, and I am not organizing or cleaning rooms I do not use. I didn't hoard it, and I'm not going to de-hoard it. The cherry on top is I can want to toss the grungiest, least useful thing, and Cousin says no. Does he use it, has it been used in the last *decade*, can it be replaced cheaply if he ever needs it? 

Put it this way -- when Cousin uses the excuse that he cooks and bakes (for kitchen stuff), I now point out that cooking frozen fish sticks or making toast in the toaster oven is not cooking and baking. Besides, he can't reach things on the stove or put things in the oven because of his wheelchair.

I bought him a new toaster oven.  One that doesn't have grime heat-infused all over the inside of it. It is more compact, and uses up less room on the counter than the old filthy one.


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## WheatenLover (Oct 20, 2022)

RadishRose said:


> Wheaten are you able to make some freezer meals ahead and then just thaw and bake, just heat up?


Sure, but when I do that -- by doubling or tripling the recipe -- Cousin and son eat it all by the next day. Also, the freezer didn't get de-filled until my son and I spent September literally eating frozen fried fish, frozen fried chicken patties, and hamburgers for lunch and dinner. That is what Cousin has subsisted on for years, for lunch and dinner. Naturally, he very much prefers the home-cooked food that October brought, once there was room in the freezer!

Son is no longer a vegan or eating a gluten-free diet. Didn't ask why because cooking for a vegan/gluten-free person and 2 non-vegans is a pain.


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## WheatenLover (Oct 20, 2022)

Well, yesterday was fun! My Cousin's best friend lives down the road, and he and his wife came over. Wife came into the house (I'd met her once before) and announced she come to get me to to go with her to buy hay and gourds. I said sure, and off we went, but not before we had to catch one of the Aussies, whom her husband accidentally let out. That dog runs like the wind. He ran to the left side of the back lawn, and I was close by, but by the time I got there, he was at the barn on the far right side of the lawn. Then he crossed the street, and my new friend caught him, and I went to the house to get a harness and leash.

The best parts were the dog didn't get hit by a vehicle, and I had the stamina and energy to participate in trying to capture him. That surprised me -- there are hills and wide swaths of land.

On our travels, we stopped for coffee, picked up my son from work, and went to the senior center. I met the town librarian. She is beautiful, soft-spoken (I could listen to her talk forever) and looks like she should be in a tv show set in a small town in New England. She just happened to be there when we stopped at the senior center to put the gourds into a fall display.

So the lady who came to free me from captivity (j/k) is someone I liked right away when I met her. Turns out we have a lot in common. Our world views are very similar, and so are our senses of humor. She is really nice, too -- not cranky or mean. We both love dogs and despise housework. We both prefer to shop at thrift stores to find cool clothes. We both know a lot about accounting.

It is nice to be making a friend.


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## Trila (Oct 23, 2022)

WheatenLover said:


> Well, yesterday was fun! My Cousin's best friend lives down the road, and he and his wife came over. Wife came into the house (I'd met her once before) and announced she come to get me to to go with her to buy hay and gourds. I said sure, and off we went, but not before we had to catch one of the Aussies, whom her husband accidentally let out. That dog runs like the wind. He ran to the left side of the back lawn, and I was close by, but by the time I got there, he was at the barn on the far right side of the lawn. Then he crossed the street, and my new friend caught him, and I went to the house to get a harness and leash.
> 
> The best parts were the dog didn't get hit by a vehicle, and I had the stamina and energy to participate in trying to capture him. That surprised me -- there are hills and wide swaths of land.
> 
> ...


I'm sorry that I have not been following your posts.  Today is the first day that I feel well enough to do some catching up.  I'm glad I did!  This post has filled me with joy! (something that I have not had in a while)  I'm so happy that you have someone to do things with!  I hope that the two of you have endless adventures!


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## Jules (Oct 23, 2022)

Glad that you made a friend.

Now that the kitchen is cleared up a bit, are you getting more time to just do things that you like.  I hate to think of you as an overworked live-in maid.


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## Sliverfox (Oct 24, 2022)

Wheaten,,, how I wish  that I had asked where you were in PA.
Perhaps we could have met  somewhere .

On the side of making new friends,, appears I've met   a few  ladies whom have similar  likes.
Yesterday at the antique store ,, we needed a  cabinet unlocked  so Hubby  could get a Coke truck he liked.

The manager & I got to talking  as  she  helped me.
I don't know how long we talked , subjects of the conversation  changed  quickly.
I finally remarked that  we were so alike in likes,,, that I could spend   more time talking with her.

The antique store is located in an old feed mill.
Several levels  with  displays of  old & some. new  items.
All very nicely done.

Hubby was having problems with all the  walking ,, she told him there is a nice chair  up front to rest in.

Its meeting folks  like that  that  help make your day .


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## WheatenLover (Nov 27, 2022)

Thanksgiving was so tiring. I spent three days preparing for it. Cousin's aunt-by-marriage joined us. She is 90 years old, looks 70, acts even younger -- full of energy, very talkative. I enjoyed her company. She still jogs every day.  She talked, I listened while wondering all the while how she could be 90 years old. She still drives, she lives alone in a log cabin she built on the side of a mountain, she has a dog. I kept wondering if she goes home and collapses, or whether her energy never falters.

The dogs loved Thanksgiving. I tell you, cooking and baking in a small kitchen with three dogs hot on my heels is interesting. I am more agile than I thought!

Son is moving to CA in a week or two. His brother has persuaded him that the can make a lot of money there. If he doesn't, he will return here. This was a shock to me. I thought we had agreed to give it a year here.

Aidan has been limping. Cousin says take him to the vet. Well, he's been to the vet, the e-vet, etc., for limping before. When he enters the vet's office, the limp disappears. So I cleaned his paw -- there was mud stuck in the hair on the bottom of his foot. Plus he'd already removed some and had torn out the hair so he has a tiny skin-free place. I doctored him, and took the opportunity to clip his claws and begin grooming him.

The dog yard here is all dirt. Grass planting is in my future. My dog's color changed from all the dirt. It is tracked throughout the house, and I have to sweep daily. He has to go to Petco for a bath soon. But I can groom him myself. He may not look ready for a dog show, but at least he won't be shaggy. 

The mud just falls off the Aussies .... my rough collie was like that, too. Aidan looks like Pigpen in comparison. He is getting a sponge bath again today. We have a claw-footed tub and there is no way we can get him in there. He fights like a banshee to not get into a normal tub.  This one is higher and bigger, and so, I will finagle a way to at least get him back to being wheaten colored instead of lightish, dingy brown.

Cousin's dogs still love me. I told Cousin we need to get a loveseat, at least, so there is some soft furniture here. His dogs want me to cuddle them, but my lap isn't big enough without somewhere to sit. Those dogs definitely need their affection cup filled up. If I could spend all day cuddling them they would eventually be less needy. Of course,  Aidan wouldn't like that.


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## katlupe (Nov 27, 2022)

Surprised that your son is leaving. Maybe he is not comfortable living with your cousin?


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## Sliverfox (Nov 27, 2022)

You would  think your  son would realize his sister moved back because of how expensive CAL is.


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## RadishRose (Nov 27, 2022)

WheatenLover said:


> Thanksgiving was so tiring. I spent three days preparing for it. Cousin's aunt-by-marriage joined us. She is 90 years old, looks 70, acts even younger -- full of energy, very talkative. I enjoyed her company. She still jogs every day.  She talked, I listened while wondering all the while how she could be 90 years old. She still drives, she lives alone in a log cabin she built on the side of a mountain, she has a dog. I kept wondering if she goes home and collapses, or whether her energy never falters.
> 
> The dogs loved Thanksgiving. I tell you, cooking and baking in a small kitchen with three dogs hot on my heels is interesting. I am more agile than I thought!
> 
> ...


I'm fascinated by your posts. Especially by Cousin's aunt-by-marriage!
Don't work too hard, my friend.


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## Jules (Nov 27, 2022)

Thanks for the update, WL.  Your life has become very full since you moved and I think/hope that’s a good thing.  The dogs all love it.


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## WheatenLover (Nov 29, 2022)

Jules said:


> Thanks for the update, WL.  Your life has become very full since you moved and I think/hope that’s a good thing.  The dogs all love it.


The dogs love it, and I love them. My stamina and energy have noticeably improved. These are good things. I have to get more stuff done so I have some time for myself. I do read in little pieces of time through the day, but usually don't do anything I want to do. No matter what, housework and cooking and laundry are activities that make me wish for a maid and a cook, or a maid and a bigger and less cluttered kitchen.

Actually, Cousin has a maid. The company charges Cousin $40/hour for her time (3-4 hours, once a week). The RN charges $20/hour. The maid cleans the floors and the bathroom. What is wrong with this picture? I offered to do the maid's work for $40/hr, but Cousin declined the offer. Cousin, I have discovered, is very set in his ways.

In other good news, my dog is active enough now that he has lost about 10 lbs. since we moved here. He is no longer overweight!


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## Jules (Nov 29, 2022)

Maybe it’s time for you to change the ’working’ conditions that you’re dealing with.  It seems different than you were expecting.


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