# My Next Life (by Woody Allen)



## SeaBreeze (Nov 23, 2012)




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## SeaBreeze (Aug 8, 2013)

:bump:


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## Anne (Aug 8, 2013)

That would work!!!!   :clap:


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## Diwundrin (Aug 8, 2013)

Thanks for bumping that, otherwise I'd never have seen it, and that would be a damned shame. 
 Way to go Woody, you see life the right way round.


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## That Guy (Aug 8, 2013)

Woody Allen has always been brilliant.


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## SifuPhil (Aug 9, 2013)

That Guy said:


> Woody Allen has always been brilliant.



He's also a perv, but then I guess that's the pot calling the kettle black ...

I enjoyed his early stuff and certainly loved his writing, but after a while he became, for me, a one-trick pony. It became cloying listening to his insecurities after a certain point, and the thing is that supposedly he derives much of his comedy (as a good comedian should) from his own life.

... and I've always had a short attention span for insecure people.

I mean, my God, the man spent 37 YEARS in psychoanalysis - how messed up do you have to _be_ to go to THAT many sessions? He's also had 3 wives and 6 major relationships - talk about being a _nebbish_!


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## JustBonee (Aug 9, 2013)

Just not a fan of the guy .....


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## That Guy (Aug 9, 2013)

Not only a hilarious comedic genius, he also plays a damn fine clarinet.


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## Michael. (Aug 9, 2013)

*A good one*

It has passed our way many times in the past

It is commonly credited to either Woody Allen, George Carlin or Andy Rooney. 

*Snopes claims it is by Sean Morey.
*

*Two versions of it:*

"In my next life I want to live my life backwards. 

You start out dead and get that out of the way. 

Then you wake up in an old people's home feeling better every day. 

You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, 
and then when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day. 

You work for 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. 

You party, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous, 
then you are ready for high school. 

You then go to primary school, you become a kid, you play. 

You have no responsibilities, you become a baby until you are born. 

And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa-like conditions 
with central heating and room service on tap, larger quarters every day and then Voila! 
You finish off as an orgasm!”



"I think the most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. 

I mean, life is tough. 

It takes up a lot of your time. 

What do you get at the end of it? A death! 

What's that, a bonus? 

I think the life cycle is all backwards. 

You should die first, get it out of the way. 

Then you live in an old age home. 

You get kicked out when you're too young, 
you get a gold watch, you go to work. 

You work for forty years until you're young enough 
to enjoy your retirement! 

You go to college, you do drugs, alcohol, you party, 
you have sex, you get ready for high school. 

You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, 
you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, 
you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating.... 

You finish off as a gleam in somebody's eye."


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