# Nursing home or assisted living advice needed



## Traveler (Dec 16, 2017)

I am a deaf senior, living alone. Even at the age of 71, with a bad heart I feel that I will soon need some help. The way things are right now, if I had a stroke, it could be weeks before anyone found me.

I am on a rather low fixed SSI income and I'm concerned that I might end up in a low end, understaffed facility with horrible food.

Does anyone have any thoughts on this ? I have no idea of where to even start.


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## Aunt Bea (Dec 16, 2017)

I live alone and have a similar concern about not being found for several weeks.  I console myself with the fact that my problems will all be solved by the time I'm found.

Try talking with your doctor about your concerns.  Your doctor may be able to provide a prescription for or steer you toward a free/low cost medical alert pendent that can summon  help if you have an emergency.

It has been my experience that finding a nursing home or assisted living facility when your funds are limited seems to happen only after you've experienced a medical event that lands you in the hospital.  In my area a social worker is assigned and they give you a list of choices.  You pick three that interest you and they check availability to see which one may have an opening.

I would start by seeing what assistance is available to low income seniors in your area.  

This link may help get you started. http://www.sandiegocounty.gov/content/sdc/hhsa/programs/ais.html

Good luck!


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## jujube (Dec 16, 2017)

There are free programs where a volunteer calls you every day or even more often to check on your well-being.  If they can't reach you, they'll call the police for a check-out call.


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## Lon (Dec 16, 2017)

Traveler said:


> I am a deaf senior, living alone. Even at the age of 71, with a bad heart I feel that I will soon need some help. The way things are right now, if I had a stroke, it could be weeks before anyone found me.
> 
> I am on a rather low fixed SSI income and I'm concerned that I might end up in a low end, understaffed facility with horrible food.
> 
> Does anyone have any thoughts on this ? I have no idea of where to even start.




Unfortunately finances have  a major effect on your choice and you are limited. Seek advice from doctor, Senior Center Etc.


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## Traveler (Dec 18, 2017)

Thank you all for your posts.


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## Marie5656 (Dec 18, 2017)

jujube said:


> There are free programs where a volunteer calls you every day or even more often to check on your well-being.  If they can't reach you, they'll call the police for a check-out call.



*​But, since Traveler is deaf, it would probably need to be a connection via text or something.  I like the idea of the medical alert system.  A friend has one. But make sure if you get one, make sure they tag your account that you are hearing, and would not hear a check in through your monitor.  They could dispatch emergency response as soon as a call comes in.*


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## Sunny (Dec 19, 2017)

I have an arrangement with two of my children, using the technology we use anyway for much less important purposes. Every morning at exactly 10:00, I send them both a text, usually just saying, "Hi" or"Hello," just to let them know I'm OK. (Of course, if I have anything to say, I add it.)  If they don't get the message within about 10-15 minutes, they send me a text. The agreement is that if I don't answer immediately, they try calling me on my regular phone and cell phone. If still no answer, my son will come over to check things out. He has a key to my home.

So far, I've only forgotten once, and I immediately got a text from him, so I know the system works.

There are also alarm systems that you can wear around your neck like a pendant. If you need help, you just push the button. They respond over a speaker that is plugged into your phone line. If no response, they send emergency people to your home. The peace of mind is worth it; it isn't that expensive.

In the seniors-only community where I live, most people living alone have some form of emergency service going. If nothing else, sometimes friends just have an agreement to call each other once or twice a day.


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## Warrigal (Dec 19, 2017)

I don't know whether this applies in US but in Australia the best aged care facilities are in the not for profit sector. 
Commercial facilities are  businesses first and care facilities second.


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## Don M. (Dec 19, 2017)

Traveler said:


> I am a deaf senior, living alone. Even at the age of 71, with a bad heart I feel that I will soon need some help. The way things are right now, if I had a stroke, it could be weeks before anyone found me. I am on a rather low fixed SSI income and I'm concerned that I might end up in a low end, understaffed facility with horrible food.Does anyone have any thoughts on this ? I have no idea of where to even start.



The only advice I would offer is Don't Wait Too Long, if you suspect you may need care.  I'm in the final stages of helping an old neighbor who will probably not live much longer...terminal cancer.  He has been in poor health for the past 3 or 4 years, and has no relatives nearby.  He has in-home care with a hospice service coming by every other day....to see if he is still eating and taking his pills, etc.  His relatives came by in recent days, to see if they can get him into a care facility, but he is adamant about Not going to a hospice,etc.  Today, he broke his glasses, so I took them to a local eye doctor to get them fixed, and when I returned, his hospice person was there trying to get him off the floor...and back in his chair...he had fallen, but he is so huge the man could not move him alone...finally, the two of us got him back in his seat.  I honestly don't know how he can even go to the bathroom alone.  I fully expect that within the next few weeks, either I or the care service person will find him passed away.  It's a sad thing to watch a person go through such a event, and even sadder to see them suffer without the help they so badly need.


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## Manatee (Dec 20, 2017)

We used to live in Maricopa county Arizona.  The Sheriff's Office there ran a program called "RUOK".  You could sign up and they would call you every day at the time you specify.  If you did not answer they would dispatch a Deputy or a member of the Sheriff's Posse to conduct a welfare check.  This program was a life saver for a number of seniors.  There were around 100,000 retirees in our general area.

More communities should have this service.


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## Traveler (Dec 21, 2017)

Warrigal said:


> I don't know whether this applies in US but in Australia the best aged care facilities are in the not for profit sector.
> Commercial facilities are  businesses first and care facilities second.



I assume that such "not for profit" agencies are run by the county ?


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## OneEyedDiva (Dec 26, 2017)

Traveler, do you feel you would not be found for awhile because you don't have any family, neighbors or friends who are concerned enough to look out for you?


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## Outdoorsygal (Dec 27, 2017)

The Senior Center should be able to connect you with a volunteer with meals on wheels. They often are willing to lookout and call for you if you are not phoning in for your
regular meal. Or do not answer the door. A med-alert would help, so would asking a neighbor to be the person who responds when it goes off.

The local Senior Center should be able to help with understanding where the medicaid assisted living facilities are located. You can visit and talk to people going in and out like family members and such. That would give you first hand opinions of a better facility before you actually need it. Better to be prepared than sorry


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