# When is the time right?



## KokosMomMom (Jul 24, 2012)

As we age so do our friends. I know I care about my friends dearly, many I have known since high school! I was reading an article about knowing when it is time to send a loved one to a senior living center and thought about some of my friends who actually matched some or most of the criteria.  Is it our place to help them make that decision, or contact a family member and let them know? If there is no family then do we have a responsibility to our friends to see that they are properly cared for?


----------



## SeaBreeze (Jul 24, 2012)

Contacting a family member may be a good idea, but I wonder that if the family really cared about that person, wouldn't they know about the circumstances already?  I know that I don't ever want to be placed in a nursing home.  Some people just want to live in their homes and do what they can to remain free and independent.

I would probably just talk to the friend, and see what they have to say.  What criteria are you speaking of?  I imagine if they are able to buy groceries, see the doctor when needed, get required medications, pay their bills on time, etc. that they are likely doing okay on their own.


----------



## OhioBob (Jul 25, 2012)

I'd say it's time when it becomes too much of a chore to take care of the loved one. However, I'd opt for a live-in nurse before going that route.


----------



## loriann (Oct 28, 2012)

I know it will be time when I can no longer care for myself. I know that I would want to be in an retirement home when I get a little older just to be around other people. Im not lonely now but I do like for some people to be around for the company. It will definitely have to be a nice retirement home though.


----------



## R. Paradon (Oct 28, 2012)

This is a very good post, KokosMomMom!

I am almost 67 and in good health but (I grit my teeth when I think of this) in only 15 years I will be in my early 80's.  I have been too much of an independent person to live in a "home".  I think it would kill me.  What I have done is made arrangements to live on a farm in the jungle (northern part of Thailand) when I need care.  It is not modern but I have great friends there and will find comfort in my life at that time.

I could of course go back to the States and live with my younger sister but I refuse to be a burden.   She is not exactly a spring chicken either!


----------



## SifuPhil (Oct 28, 2012)

It's a tough call, especially if you don't have any family members that are willing to devote time and effort to providing care. Without family I would think that the friends become the "adopted" family - at least then you'll know who your _true_ friends are. 

Being a loner / monk -kind of guy I know that when my time comes I don't want pity, I don't want persuasion and I don't want to be put in a home. I had to put two aunts into homes years ago, and between the financial robbery that takes place and the lack of care in many institutions I would never subject anyone to that, much less myself.

My "retirement home" will likely be leaning against a tree in the woods or stepping in front of an express bus.


----------

