# Do Men Really Not Care if They're Liked?



## officerripley (Dec 30, 2021)

Do men really not care if they're liked and only want to be respected (and sometimes, feared) as almost all the men I've known have said? Or is it an act to maybe feel or appear to be more manly?


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## JaniceM (Dec 30, 2021)

officerripley said:


> Do men really not care if they're liked and only want to be respected (and sometimes, feared) as almost all the men I've known have said? Or is it an act to maybe feel or appear to be more manly?


I think most people care if they're liked.. except maybe psychopaths.
As for anybody who wants to be feared- they're individuals I'd want to stay far far away.


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## OneEyedDiva (Dec 30, 2021)

Ditto what @JaniceM said.


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## Murrmurr (Dec 30, 2021)

Men do care if they're liked by people who they _want_ to like them. But if it turns out that they don't, then I think most men no longer care how those people feel.


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## Alligatorob (Dec 30, 2021)

I care, would like all to like me.  I care about some more than others of course.

Respect is good too, but can't see why anyone would fear me or why I'd want them to.


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## horseless carriage (Dec 30, 2021)

When you are in charge of wherever you work, you will need a strong sense of assertion to survive. Many cannot distinguish the difference between assertion and aggression, but a skilled manager does know. A prime example of that was the head teacher at my school. He was much admired because he was fare, yet there was always that sense of trepidation if you were called to his office.

He taught me much just by watching him. When he didn't believe the cock and bull story that some recalcitrant was delivering, he would let his specs slide down his nose and deliver a stare of pure napalm over the specs top rim. How he had boys squirming. Yet there weren't many who didn't like him, he was always a fare man.

Being fare and treating people in a similar way that my head teacher did will win respect, and with it, admiration. If you want to define that as liked, so be it. If you worked for me and I caught you bending the rules, cheating or worse, you would be reprimanded and if that upset you, so be it. I don't really care whether you like me or not, you will do as everyone else does, obey the rules or work elsewhere.

Men do have feelings and they are hurt by jibes, but if they treat others in a way that they wish to be treated, it will soon earn respect and, as I said previously, you can define that as being liked.


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## Larry67 (Dec 30, 2021)

I want people to like me if I respect them. I don't like people that I don't respect. I don't respect people who are willing to exploit other people to gain unfair advantage over them. If the people that I don't respect don't like me then I don't I don't care.


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## Alligatorob (Dec 30, 2021)

Larry67 said:


> I don't respect people who are willing to exploit other people to gain unfair advantage over them.


I agree, however the cynic in me still wants them to like me, helps me control the situation a bit.


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## Jules (Dec 30, 2021)

Murrmurr said:


> Men do care if they're liked by people who they _want_ to like them. But if it turns out that they don't, then I think most men no longer care how those people feel.


You have a point.  I think women have a stronger desire to be liked.  If men have issues with each other, they deal with it directly.


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## Irwin (Dec 30, 2021)

officerripley said:


> Do men really not care if they're liked and only want to be respected (and sometimes, feared) as almost all the men I've known have said? Or is it an act to maybe feel or appear to be more manly?


That's a Machiavellian attitude. 

(I've been studying philosophy.   )


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## Mizmo (Dec 30, 2021)

Jules said:


> You have a point.  I think women have a stronger desire to be liked.





Jules said:


> If men have issues with each other, they deal with it directly.



yes agree...


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## IFortuna (Dec 30, 2021)

Murrmurr said:


> Men do care if they're liked by people who they _want_ to like them. But if it turns out that they don't, then I think most men no longer care how those people feel.


I think that is true of women too.


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## IFortuna (Dec 30, 2021)

Alligatorob said:


> I care, would like all to like me.  I care about some more than others of course.
> 
> Respect is good too, but can't see why anyone would fear me or why I'd want them to.


Well put.


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## fmdog44 (Dec 30, 2021)

_"I love mankind it's people I can't stand."_
-Larry David


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## RadishRose (Dec 30, 2021)

Mizmo said:


> yes agree...
> 
> View attachment 201426


yeah, RIGHT


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## Murrmurr (Dec 31, 2021)

Alligatorob said:


> I care, would like all to like me.  I care about some more than others of course.
> 
> Respect is good too, but *can't see why anyone would fear me or why I'd want them to.*


There's a few people around here who I'm glad are afraid of me. I'm pretty sure it's saving me a lot of grief.
But I live in a rough area. I've been here going on 6 years. There's good people here, and I'm one of them, but certain ones know not to mess with me and my family and my stuff. That was established early on.


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## Alligatorob (Dec 31, 2021)

Murrmurr said:


> There's a few people around here who I'm glad are afraid of me. I'm pretty sure it's saving me a lot of grief.
> But I live in a rough area. I've been here going on 6 years. There's good people here, and I'm one of them, but certain ones know not to mess with me and my family and my stuff. That was established early on.


That makes sense.  I live in a small Utah town where so far as I can tell all of the people are good, certainly I feel safe with them.  Very different environment.


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## Victor (Dec 31, 2021)

Yes most men care to a point if they work and hang out with other people. Recluse s and total loners and tough bosses do not care. Depends on their occupation. Dictators don't care


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## feywon (Dec 31, 2021)

JaniceM said:


> I think most people care if they're liked.. except maybe psychopaths.
> As for anybody who wants to be feared- they're individuals I'd want to stay far far away.


That's an extreme view, tho it may depend one's definition of 'liked' and of 'not caring if one is liked'.   As most everyone acknowledged in @Larry67's thread about the acceptability of disliking some people: We can neither like or be liked by everyone, it is human nature---if we are being our authentic selves. And it begs the question: How many people 'liking' you, by your own definition of that word is enough for you to feel validated? 

There are people who fall short of being psychopaths but i still don't care to associate with them or want them to like me. Some in fact, I'm quite gratified if they don't and would do some soul searching if they did. Some would label me an introvert because from early childhood i have been a.loner, and at most could count one hand the number of non-family members who liked me. And i've always been fine with that. 

Who doesn't like me can say as much about them as it does about me, and my not liking someone can say more about me, than them.
See to me one of the perks of getting older is not having to care (for familial, or employment related reasons) what anyone thinks about me. As long they don't take any hostile actions against me, i really don't care.


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## feywon (Dec 31, 2021)

Jules said:


> You have a point.  I think women have a stronger desire to be liked.  If men have issues with each other, they deal with it directly.


It shows, LOL!
EDIT: Oops, somehow hit reply on wrong comment and rushing didn't notice. 

I disagree,  i think females are more conditioned (programmed, brainwashed?) Into needing to be liked. By family members, teachers, employers. The same behaviors get labeled differently in some familes: a boy who won't give up his position on something may be labeled 'persistent', if his sister behaves thw same she is called stubborn. Since one has positive connotations and the other negative it is not even necessary, tho the family may verbalize that stubborn is unattractive in a 'girl'.

This is changing, but slowly.


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## feywon (Dec 31, 2021)

officerripley said:


> Do men really not care if they're liked and only want to be respected (and sometimes, feared) as almost all the men I've known have said? Or is it an act to maybe feel or appear to be more manly?


I think attitudes toward 'being liked' are highly individual regardless of gender and if 'almost all' the men you've known have had same attitude maybe your experiences too limited? I've known both men and women all along the spectrum of caring about being liked, including people who are ambivalent about it and people who's behavior contradicts their pronouncements about it.

BTW, i tend to think that anyone (male/female, parent, boss) who wants to be feared is foolish. Those who fear someone rather than respect them are a much bigger threat to one's well being when vulnerable than those that respect you even if they don't particularly like you. Because their fear means they perceive *you *as a threat, and human instinct is to 'disarm' if not remove threats.


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## Aneeda72 (Dec 31, 2021)

Alligatorob said:


> That makes sense.  I live in a small Utah town where so far as I can tell all of the people are good, certainly I feel safe with them.  Very different environment.


As you know I live I Utah as well.  When we moved back to our town I was excited.  Then there was a kidnaping, three streets over, and murder later.  Then there was a murder, one street over.  Glad I sold the house.  No place is safe.


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## Aneeda72 (Dec 31, 2021)

feywon said:


> That's an extreme view, tho it may depend one's definition of 'liked' and of 'not caring if one is liked'.   As most everyone acknowledged in @Larry67's thread about the acceptability of disliking some people: We can neither like or be liked by everyone, it is human nature---if we are being our authentic selves. And it begs the question: How many people 'liking' you, by your own definition of that word is enough for you to feel validated?
> 
> There are people who fall short of being psychopaths but i still don't care to associate with them or want them to like me. Some in fact, I'm quite gratified if they don't and would do some soul searching if they did. Some would label me an introvert because from early childhood i have been a.loner, and at most could count one hand the number of non-family members who liked me. And i've always been fine with that.
> 
> ...


I agree!!! At 75, like me, don’t like.  I am not going to change, however, I am not a threat to anyone; but I can hire attorneys if necessary .


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## feywon (Dec 31, 2021)

Irwin said:


> That's a Machiavellian attitude.
> 
> (I've been studying philosophy.   )


It shows, not necessarily a bad thing.


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## fuzzybuddy (Dec 31, 2021)

I doubt wanting to be liked is a male/female thing. I believe it is a strong human emotion to be liked, and well thought of.


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## Meanderer (Dec 31, 2021)

We are all individual personalities.  You cannot say all men or all women feel the same way about anything.


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## Murrmurr (Dec 31, 2021)

feywon said:


> I disagree,  i think females are more conditioned (programmed, brainwashed?) Into needing to be liked. By family members, teachers, employers. The same behaviors get labeled differently in some familes: a boy who won't give up his position on something may be labeled 'persistent', if his sister behaves thw same she is called stubborn. Since one has positive connotations and the other negative it is not even necessary, tho the family may verbalize that stubborn is unattractive in a 'girl'.


I'm not so sure about that. I would agree that, through the ages, males have been trained to use their natural aggression to dominate, and females have been trained to limit their natural tendency to nurture to raising kids and caring for their husbands, but girls (and women) are *way* more stubborn than boys (and men).


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## Murrmurr (Dec 31, 2021)

Meanderer said:


> We are all individual personalities.  You cannot say all men or all women feel the same way about anything.


But you can say that the _majority_ of men or the majority of women have natural tendencies directly linked to their gender...because certain behavioral tendencies are linked to hormones.


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## Pepper (Dec 31, 2021)

Murrmurr said:


> I'm not so sure about that. I would agree that, through the ages, males have been trained to use their natural aggression to dominate, and females have been trained to limit their natural tendency to nurture to raising kids and *caring for their husbands*, but girls (and women) are *way* more stubborn than boys (and men).


I don't see a natural tendency to nurture husbands except not doing so earns a punch or a shove.  Kids, ok; but taking care of adults is being taken by the situation.


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## JaniceM (Dec 31, 2021)

Murrmurr said:


> girls (and women) are *way* more stubborn than boys (and men).


sounds like you know my kids


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## Murrmurr (Dec 31, 2021)

JaniceM said:


> sounds like you know my kids


I know mine. I had 2 sons...and then came Maud.   !!!

(really her name)


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## Murrmurr (Dec 31, 2021)

Pepper said:


> I don't see a natural tendency to nurture husbands except not doing so earns a punch or a shove.  Kids, ok; but taking care of adults is being taken by the situation.


But notice I said "trained to"...._trained_ (by society) to limit that tendency to home and hearth.


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## officerripley (Dec 31, 2021)

Very interesting thoughts from everyone; thanks. I started the discussion because I've noticed that my Huzz and several of his friends and one as-close-as-a-brother cousin all seem to admire--from the way they talk anyway--people (some famous, some they know IRL, locals) who have come right out and said that they couldn't care less if anybody likes them, they just want to be maybe respected but certainly feared, that that's the only way to succeed and "get things done" in this world. And I see that a lot online too, people admiring the same "qualities", i.e. ruthlessness.


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## JaniceM (Dec 31, 2021)

officerripley said:


> Very interesting thoughts from everyone; thanks. I started the discussion because I've noticed that my Huzz and several of his friends and one as-close-as-a-brother cousin all seem to admire--from the way they talk anyway--people (some famous, some they know IRL, locals) who have come right out and said that they couldn't care less if anybody likes them, they just want to be maybe respected but certainly feared, that that's the only way to succeed and "get things done" in this world. And I see that a lot online too, people admiring the same "qualities", i.e. ruthlessness.


They sound like jerks.


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## David777 (Dec 31, 2021)

officerripley >>>"_Do men really not care if they're liked and only want to be respected (and sometimes, feared) as almost all the men I've known have said? Or is it an act to maybe feel or appear to be more manly_?"

should be: Do [*some*] men really [*sometimes*] not care if they're liked [*by those they know well*] and only want to be respected (and sometimes, feared) as almost all the men I've known have said? Or is it an act to maybe feel or appear to be more manly?

Wondered how members would reply haha.  The OP's question is a bit click baitish as one will expect most to respond denying such a narrow behavior.  Reality is most of us with our heads screwed onto the right place, neither like nor dislike the majority of strangers we meet, but given fairness are rather neutral, only slightly categorizing new acquaintances.  In our adult workplaces and out in public, this is much more so in order to show mature, professional interpersonal communications.

Now with personal friends, relatives, close job work mates, and possible romantic acquaintances, the question has more to discuss. True for some but in any case much depends on specific circumstance.  In most situations, respect is all that is important, not liking or disliking.


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## Murrmurr (Dec 31, 2021)

officerripley said:


> Very interesting thoughts from everyone; thanks. I started the discussion because I've noticed that my Huzz and several of his friends and one as-close-as-a-brother cousin all seem to admire--from the way they talk anyway--people (some famous, some they know IRL, locals) who have come right out and said that they couldn't care less if anybody likes them, they just want to be maybe respected but certainly feared, that that's the only way to succeed and "get things done" in this world. And I see that a lot online too, people admiring the same "qualities", i.e. ruthlessness.


Ruthlessness is a whole 'nother thing, imo. But men are definitely taught that sometimes you have to be ruthless to get ahead.


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## Pepper (Dec 31, 2021)

Murrmurr said:


> Ruthlessness is a whole 'nother thing, imo. But men are definitely taught that sometimes you have to be ruthless to get ahead.


They are not called 'bitches' for doing so.  At least that's what I've heard.


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## Murrmurr (Dec 31, 2021)

Pepper said:


> They are not called 'bitches' for doing so.  At least that's what I've heard.


You heard right. In fact, some of them are called kings of their industry. And usually they could attract members of the opposite sex based on their "achievements" alone....if by achievements you mean money, in which case we're alluding to a different kind of "bitches".


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## officerripley (Dec 31, 2021)

David777 said:


> Wondered how members would reply haha. The OP's question is a bit click baitish as one will expect most to respond denying such a narrow behavior.


I really did wonder how members would reply. And I really did not mean for it to be "click baitish". Sigh.


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## Pepper (Dec 31, 2021)

officerripley said:


> I really did wonder how members would reply. And *I really did not mean for it to be "click baitish"*. Sigh.


It's not.


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## Uptosnuff (Dec 31, 2021)

I'm basing my answer on my husband, father, brothers and guys that I've worked with but from I've seen generally, I think men are less caring about being liked than women are. I think women, generally, have a different view of the people around them, relationships and how that all interconnects.  I think women are more likely to do and say things (or NOT do or say things) in order to be liked by a broader range of people than men are.

Not saying this is good or bad, just what I have seen.


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## Chet (Dec 31, 2021)

As I don't like someone, I must expect that some don't like me, but there's no sense being bitter about it.


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## JaniceM (Dec 31, 2021)

David777 said:


> officerripley >>>"_Do men really not care if they're liked and only want to be respected (and sometimes, feared) as almost all the men I've known have said? Or is it an act to maybe feel or appear to be more manly_?"
> 
> should be: Do [*some*] men really [*sometimes*] not care if they're liked [*by those they know well*] and only want to be respected (and sometimes, feared) as almost all the men I've known have said? Or is it an act to maybe feel or appear to be more manly?
> 
> ...


Unfortunately, too many people think 'respect' is the same as 'fear.'


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## Tish (Dec 31, 2021)

OneEyedDiva said:


> Ditto what @JaniceM said.


Ditto, this way too.


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## Gary O' (Dec 31, 2021)

Do Men Really Not Care if They're Liked?​
Never gave it much thought

Lived at our mountain cabin for approaching six years.
Lotsa renegades
Didn't much care whether they liked me or not
Actually, I preferred they didn't 

Up there, not many of us pushed the* 'like'* button
The dislike button was generally 12 gauge

Up there, a recluse gave me something.....a bit of a gift
An unusually shaped maddox I'd admired
He never ever gave noboby nuthin'
So, guess he liked me
*THAT*....meant something to me
Very much

An unusual ol' dude
Not a renegade, per se 
More a hermit
He never visited anyone
Kept to his self 
So, when he'd come down to my cabin. it was quite the honor
When he was done visiting, he'd just turn....and walk away
No 'bye' no nuthin'
Thought it was a bit odd at the time
But got to admiring that
Got to thinking folks overdo the g'byes 

As far as folks in general?
I guess it'd be good to be liked
Not earth shattering either way

Let you analysts play with that

Don't much care


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## Alligatorob (Dec 31, 2021)

Aneeda72 said:


> As you know I live I Utah as well.  When we moved back to our town I was excited.  Then there was a kidnaping, three streets over, and murder later.  Then there was a murder, one street over.  Glad I sold the house.  No place is safe.


Utah is not monolithic!  I know in the more populated areas things are different.  Hope you are in a place you feel safe now.


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## Gary O' (Dec 31, 2021)

Gary O' said:


> I guess it'd be good to be liked
> Not earth shattering either way


@officerripley 
Curious, why the '*sad'*
To me, it's not sad or happy...it just is


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## officerripley (Dec 31, 2021)

Gary O' said:


> @officerripley
> Curious, why the '*sad'*
> To me, it's not sad or happy...it just is


Oh, I guess because I think being liked is great and hard for some of us to accomplish or live without and it seems cold to not care at all if someone likes you; humans spent hundreds of thousands of years evolving into societies (the hunter/gatherer tribes we lived in for at least 25,000 years) wherein you had to at least get along with and probably preferably like/be liked by the people you lived in such quarters with. So it seems like the loner lifestyle is going to feel unnatural for most of us. I don't mean unnatural as in good or evil, right or wrong; I mean as in what naturally worked the best for humans for thousands of years and still does for most of us.

Also the joke about the dislike button being a 12 gauge? I'm assuming that's a gun? So, yeah, I find guns (and any other deadly weapons: knives, gallows, guillotines, crosses, electric chairs, etc.) to be sad and scary. (I know, I know, it's only the gun owners who are the scary ones not the guns themselves but the guns and jokes about 'em ( ) are scary to me; I just find death to be sad and unfunny. But that's just me.)


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## Nathan (Dec 31, 2021)

fuzzybuddy said:


> I doubt wanting to be liked is a male/female thing. I believe it is a strong human emotion to be liked, and well thought of.


Well said.


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## Gary O' (Dec 31, 2021)

officerripley said:


> So, yeah, I find guns (and any other deadly weapons: knives, gallows, guillotines, crosses, electric chairs, etc.) to be sad and scary. (I know, I know, it's only the gun owners who are the scary ones not the guns themselves but the guns and jokes about 'em ( ) are scary to me; I just find death to be sad and unfunny. But that's just me.)


Yeah, seems you and I are at opposite ends on that.
Where I come from, you don't have a gun, yer in trouble, big time

As far as gun ownership?
No, it's not a laughing matter


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## oldiebutgoody (Dec 31, 2021)

Murrmurr said:


> girls (and women) are *way* more stubborn than boys (and men)




I find that true especially when they are beautiful. They act like divas with a perpetual sense of entitlement. It's almost as if they expect the world to kow tow to them at all times under all circumstances.  Then they walk past you with their noses in the air.  While certainly not true of everyone, more often than not they do this more than anyone else.


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## Irwin (Dec 31, 2021)

With being liked comes responsibility to maintain a certain level of decorum. When you're not liked, you can act however you want because you have nothing to lose!


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## Aneeda72 (Dec 31, 2021)

Alligatorob said:


> Utah is not monolithic!  I know in the more populated areas things are different.  Hope you are in a place you feel safe now.


I am sure you know more about Utah than I do, I’ve only lived here over 35 years.


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## Alligatorob (Dec 31, 2021)

Aneeda72 said:


> I am sure you know more about Utah than I do...


I doubt it.

You have been here longer, but in different places I think.  I have lived in Utah 4 different times, Pleasant View (68 to 70), Logan (9 months per year for school 71 to 74 and again 80 to 83), Farmington (95 to 99) and now near Brigham City since 2018; also spent a summer in Millard long ago.  My wife is a Utah native.


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## oldpop (Dec 31, 2021)

Since I learned how the process of people pleasing negatively affects my life people liking me or not matters much less than when I was younger.


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## Mr. Ed (Jan 4, 2022)

Personally, I don't like to be left out of the circle. Males tend to self-promote and brag about themselves. I get along with most females on the surface but not romantically. My friends are intelligent, must be mutually compatible, open minded, willing to take risks, diverse and positive. 

Narcissists are a turnoff. Braggarts are a turnoff, Criminals are a turnoff, Dishonesty is a turnoff.


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## grahamg (Jan 5, 2022)

In response to the thread title I'd say "yes" both for myself and generally, but at the same time I acknowledge to "Lazlo needs theory", and the view it is attention human beings crave more than anything, so if praise isn't forthcoming, children and adults who haven't grown up too much, may often resort to poor behaviour IAS a way of attracting attention.


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## Shero (Jan 5, 2022)

grahamg said:


> I acknowledge to "Lazlo needs theory", and the view it is attention human beings crave more


 .
Surely you mean "Abraham Maslow's hierarchy of needs" 
.


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## grahamg (Jan 5, 2022)

Shero said:


> .
> Surely you mean "Abraham Maslow's hierarchy of needs"
> .


Yes, probably so, (I'm claiming old age as my excuse, big day coming up tomorrow dont you know!).

Who is Lazlo though is the question?


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## officerripley (Jan 5, 2022)

grahamg said:


> In response to the thread title I'd say "yes" both for myself and generally, but at the same time I acknowledge to "Lazlo needs theory", and the view it is attention human beings crave more than anything, so if praise isn't forthcoming, children and adults who haven't grown up too much, may often resort to poor behaviour IAS a way of attracting attention.


So sounds like you think that someone craving attention, even just wanting the fact that they're alive to be acknowledged, is immature ("haven't grown up too much" as you put it)?


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## Shero (Jan 5, 2022)

grahamg said:


> Yes, probably so, (I'm claiming old age as my excuse, (big day coming up tomorrow dont you know!).
> 
> Who is Lazlo though is the question?
> 
> View attachment 202241



I thought you knew, a Brazilian spider monkey !!


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## Shero (Jan 5, 2022)

It does not matter if you are man, woman or child, everyone needs a loving touch and a feeling they are liked by the people around them.


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## grahamg (Jan 5, 2022)

officerripley said:


> So sounds like you think that someone craving attention, even just wanting the fact that they're alive to be acknowledged, is immature ("haven't grown up too much" as you put it)?


I perhaps didn't state my views very clearly due to tiredness etc.

The "Maslow hierarchy of needs" has I think established we all crave attention, (if not this then the "Transactional analysis" psychological theories). However, it is simply the degree we might wish this kind of approval, or "positive attention", and if not getting it, the likelihood we'll resort to bad behaviour to draw even "negative attention" to ourselves, that becomes an issue in regard to whether we've gron up emotionally, (I hope that's clearer?).

 Here are some quotes to further illustrate matters:
"What type of person craves attention?

In a person with histrionic personality disorder, *self-esteem* depends on the approval of others. People with this disorder have an overwhelming desire to be noticed, and often behave dramatically or inappropriately to get attention."

"What is it called when someone always wants attention?

*Histrionic personality disorder (HPD)* is defined by the American Psychiatric Association as a personality disorder characterized by a pattern of excessive attention-seeking behaviors, usually beginning in early childhood, including inappropriate seduction and an excessive desire for approval."

"Is craving attention a bad thing?

But *attention seeking isn't inherently bad*, nor is it necessarily inconsequential; rather, attention-seeking behavior exists on a spectrum that ranges from an expression of our most natural desire for human contact to extreme manifestations of psychological suffering, and recognizing when it becomes a cry for help,...."


https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/attention-seeking-behavior

And this one:

https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/psychology-behind-attention-seeking-behavior-in-adults/


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## Geezer Garage (Jan 5, 2022)

I wonder, does this describe any past, or present world leader we may know of? Mike



grahamg said:


> Here are some quotes to further illustrate matters:
> "What type of person craves attention?
> 
> In a person with histrionic personality disorder, *self-esteem* depends on the approval of others. People with this disorder have an overwhelming desire to be noticed, and often behave dramatically or inappropriately to get attention."
> ...


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## grahamg (Jan 5, 2022)

Geezer Garage said:


> I wonder, does this describe any past, or present world leader we may know of? Mike


Are you trying to get someone in bother asking such a question, I know I'm easily trapped and dragged into arguments, or other invidious positions but this is simply too obvious even for me to fall for tired as I before my big day tomorrow!


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## grahamg (Jan 5, 2022)

oldiebutgoody said:


> I find that true especially when they are beautiful. They act like divas with a perpetual sense of entitlement. It's almost as if they expect the world to kow tow to them at all times under all circumstances.  Then they walk past you with their noses in the air.  While certainly not true of everyone, more often than not they do this more than anyone else.


You want to meet some of the so called men I know who are just as big a diva as any woman in my view, so though I may accept your argument in general, lets not forget the me who are full of their own importance, and feelings of entitlement !


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## officerripley (Jan 5, 2022)

grahamg said:


> I perhaps didn't state my views very clearly due to tiredness etc.
> 
> The "Maslow hierarchy of needs" has I think established we all crave attention, (if not this then the "Transactional analysis" psychological theories). However, it is simply the degree we might wish this kind of approval, or "positive attention", and if not getting it, the likelihood we'll resort to bad behaviour to draw even "negative attention" to ourselves, that becomes an issue in regard to whether we've gron up emotionally, (I hope that's clearer?).
> 
> ...


Thanks, very informative and helpful.


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## Packerjohn (Jan 5, 2022)

Yes, I think I want people to like me but I have worked hard over the years to have good manners, listen to what people say, be helpful and be kind.  This tends to surprise a lot of people; especially some women who think all men are evil bruts associated with Mr. Satan.


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## oldiebutgoody (Jan 5, 2022)

grahamg said:


> You want to meet some of the so called men I know who are just as big a diva as any woman in my view, so though I may accept your argument in general, lets not forget the me who are full of their own importance, and feelings of entitlement !




My own brother is a POS who fits that description well though, in truth, I have known more women well deserving of that designation.


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## dseag2 (Jan 5, 2022)

Who of any gender in their 60s, 70's, 80's or beyond cares about being liked?  Get over it.


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## grahamg (Jan 6, 2022)

dseag2 said:


> Who of any gender in their 60s, 70's, 80's or beyond cares about being liked?  Get over it.


Moi, et Non!

https://www.thoughtco.com/moi-non-plus-1371307

Usage notes: _Moi non_ plus is the opposite of moi aussi. They both agree _(and disagree in my view_), with what someone just said, but moi aussi (me too) agrees with an affirmative


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## Irwin (Jan 6, 2022)

grahamg said:


> I perhaps didn't state my views very clearly due to tiredness etc.
> 
> The "Maslow hierarchy of needs" has I think established we all crave attention, (if not this then the "Transactional analysis" psychological theories). However, it is simply the degree we might wish this kind of approval, or "positive attention", and if not getting it, the likelihood we'll resort to bad behaviour to draw even "negative attention" to ourselves, that becomes an issue in regard to whether we've gron up emotionally, (I hope that's clearer?).
> 
> ...


I'd never heard of HPD before. There's a disorder for everyone in the DSM!


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## Tom 86 (Jan 6, 2022)

I use to care when I was younger.  Then I found out some people were just using me.  Since getting older I turned into I don't give a Da** what others think.  The older you get the more you learn about so-called friends.


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## grahamg (Jan 6, 2022)

Tom 86 said:


> I use to care when I was younger.  Then I found out some people were just using me.  Since getting older I turned into I don't give a Da** what others think.  The older you get the more you learn about so-called friends.


Yea, but cynicism, though understandable, isn't everything in life is it(?).


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## JimBob1952 (Jan 6, 2022)

I'm liked.  But not well-liked.


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## Pepper (Jan 6, 2022)

JimBob1952 said:


> I'm liked.  But not well-liked.


I don't believe that.


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## JimBob1952 (Jan 6, 2022)

Pepper said:


> I don't believe that.


 Sort of a joke, a reference to Death of a Salesman.  Willy Loman talks about people who are "liked, but not well-liked."  I actually don't care that much about who does or doesn't like me, although I find my own company to be immensely enjoyable.


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## grahamg (Jan 6, 2022)

JimBob1952 said:


> I'm liked.  But not well-liked.


Well that's something at least!


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## grahamg (Jan 6, 2022)

She's "liked" too:


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## Gary O' (Jan 6, 2022)

On the flip side....I like everbod, haters and all
Don't much care whether they like me or not

Folks are just so.....fascinating 

The mean ones? I jus' wrestle 'em down, and give 'em a noogie

'Fore long, we're sippin' suds and talking favorite fishing holes


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## Irwin (Jan 6, 2022)

Gary O' said:


> On the flip side....I like everbod, haters and all
> Don't much care whether they like me or not
> 
> *Folks are just so.....fascinating*
> ...


I'll give that much to them... they are fascinating. So are snakes, but that doesn't mean I want to spend much time around them.


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## grahamg (Jan 6, 2022)

Irwin said:


> I'll give that much to them... they are fascinating. So are snakes, but that doesn't mean I want to spend much time around them.


You have to watch those "snakes in the grass", no doubt about that!


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## grahamg (Jan 6, 2022)

Gary O' said:


> On the flip side....I like everbod, haters and all
> Don't much care whether they like me or not
> Folks are just so.....fascinating
> The mean ones? I jus' wrestle 'em down, and give 'em a noogie
> 'Fore long, we're sippin' suds and talking favorite fishing holes


I bet they're taken aback when you give " 'em a noogie"(???)

I've heard of "boogie woogie" before, but no, definitely not a "noogie"!

Can't be a tickle can it?


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## Gary O' (Jan 6, 2022)

grahamg said:


> I've heard of "boogie woogie" before, but no, definitely not a "noogie"!
> 
> Can't be a tickle can it?


It's a rough head rub with knuckles


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## grahamg (Jan 6, 2022)

Gary O' said:


> It's a rough head rub with knuckles


Oowwwwrrrr, yes remember those, not gonna want too many of dem, no sir!!!!  
Next it'll be Chinese burns for good measure!


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