# Grandkids



## debodun

On a scale of 1 to 10 (1 = not like at all, 10 = like very much), if you have grandkids, how much do you like having them visit.

I don't know, I don't have them, but it irks me that people that have children use their parents as free babysitters.


----------



## Vivjen

I have 3; a girl of 6 next month; and two boys, of nearly 5 and nearly 3.

I babysit about once every 6 months for the boys; for 2or 3 days. Exhausting; but fun, and the parents feed me; give me a bed; and leave me lots of wine for the evenings!

They always ask....and I don't mind...
the little girl I don't have on her own very much; but she is lovely too.

I am very lucky; and am not taken advantage of at all.

So on your scale; 10.
i love having them; but when they leave I enjoy the peace!


----------



## AprilT

10, I wish I had some little tikes to visit me, SOMETIMES.  Though I was a very young mother and young grandmother as well, I have but one daughter. My daughter is my only child and her only daughter is recently graduated jr college and is working. So no babysitting here, plus when my bumking was a little one, she had another granny that did all the babysitting, I  lived too far away most of their life.  But over the years I've cared for many nephews and nieces and helped friends in a pinch and I love most every moment of it.  I like children, well ones that are raised with manners anyway.


----------



## Mrs. Robinson

As I sit here rocking my granddaughter`s cradle with my foot......I LOVE having my grandkids visit. And I love when they go home  (J/K) Seriously though,I kind of got "stuck" watching this one. It was suggested when my DIL was pregnant and I flat out said "No way! Only in an emergency". Not sure what part of that she didn`t understand but here I am. I think she thought because I do foster care that I love having kids around. I do-but not infants so much. That`s why we only got licensed to foster 10-18 year olds-that`s the ages we wanted. Don`t get me wrong-I LOVE the baby-I just don`t really have the stamina to care for an infant. Fortunately,DIL`s sister wants her as much as possible so any day that I have her after 3pm,she picks her up. And another friend who is home all day and her kids are in school, takes her sometimes too. I have had her full time this week though as the sister had surgery. Thankfully,my son gets home tonight so he will keep her tomorrow.


----------



## Lon

My three grandkids are married adults and I like talking with them when they leave their I Phones, I Pads or other devices in their pocket.


----------



## Mrs. Robinson

A few of our grandkids are now adults and all are fun to spend time with. And thankfully,they DON`t sit there with their devices on. Hubby and our 4 yo grandson are the best of friends and text back and forth constantly. They have sports in common-that`s pretty much all they talk about. Grandson is QB on the high school team so hubby is constantly giving him "tips" lol.


----------



## RadishRose

a BIG FAT* 10*


----------



## QuickSilver

I am one of those women who gave birth to only boys..  Therefore, I don't have the same access to my GKs that my DILs mom does.  I'm just not the same I guess.   That's fine though..  It is what it is.   I like to see my GKs.  ( I have 3)...  My son brings them by 3 or 4 times a year.   Needless to say.. I'm not used to kids or their normal volume and activity level.   It's just as fine with me when they go home.


----------



## JustBonee

I've got 5 grandkids.  The oldest is in her 20's, and I rarely see her as she lives across the country.  Two teen-age grandkids, a girl and boy, they stay so busy with their school activities and sports and friends ... and that granddaughter lives up the street from me. 

My two youngest granddaughters are with me every weekend, and I've learned to really enjoy our time together, as I've seen how fleeting the time/years are...  we love to play board games and read books together.
It's a 10 for me too.


----------



## Michael.

We waited a long time for our first grandchild and we love helping to look after him.

We know it is a free baby sitting service but we have no complaints.

Here is a picture of the little fellow taken this morning.



.​


----------



## Mrs. Robinson

Oh,he`s a cutie,Michael!!


----------



## Sassycakes

I have 2 grandson's (my son's boys) and they are 18yrs and 16yrs  old now. I watched them every day from birth until they went to school and then watched them after school and all summer. I also have a precious granddaughter (my daughters little girl)who just turned 4yrs old.My daughter is a stay at home Mom so I don't get to watch my granddaughter as often as I did the boys.
on a scale of 1 to 10 I'd say 10. The best days I have are when my grand kids are visiting.


----------



## Bobw235

We're still waiting for the first visit from our grandkids, but it's likely a long way off.  My son and his wife have settled in England, so we only get to see the grandkids (grandson is nearly 3 and a half, granddaughter is 18 months) when we go over to visit (financial constraints prevent them from coming to us).  Our hope is that when we retire we can spend part of the year in England so that we can develop a close bond with the kids, beyond the one created over video chats.


----------



## jujube

I was a willing babysitter for my granddaughter; in fact, my daughter and she lived with us for two years between marriages.   It was about the best two years of my life.   She has now graduated from college and is living far away from me but I know we'll always be close.


----------



## Ameriscot

10!

The only drawback about living across the pond is not seeing my granddaughters nearly as often as I'd like.  I do go for a visit once a month every year, but we stay with my siblings as my son has no room for us in his house. We do Skype them and it's better than nothing. 

My granddaughters are 9 and 4 and I have a stepgrandson, their brother, who is 18.  I have a stepgrandson in Scotland who is 2 but lives about 5 hours away.  Going to see him this weekend. 

I've invited my oldest granddaughter to come and stay for a month in the summer when she is 12.  Her mother doesn't like the idea of not seeing her for a month as she's very clingy, but her dad thinks it's a great idea.  When this granddaughter was about 5 or 6 she asked if she could come and live with me!


----------



## oakapple

10! I enjoy their visits, we have 3 small grandchildren [all live close to us]  so we see them regularly for visits, don't often 'babysit' as such, mostly see them with their parents as well.Sometimes take them to the playpark or the shops.Yes, it can be a bit tiring, which is why people should not have kids in their 60's! I enjoy playing games with them though, they will be into techie things soon in the future, but for now like to play.


----------



## Bobw235

Our son and his wife are dealing with the struggles of having two little ones.  He and his wife are constantly sleep deprived.  I've already told my son that when we visit next year, we're taking the kids off to the beach so he and our daughter-in-law can get some peace and quiet, get some sleep and mostly get some alone time.  I don't know how they do it.  We are so looking forward to being temporary babysitters.


----------



## Just plain me

I would say a 10. Have 8. Babysitted for every one of them at some point or another, while parents worked. Now they are all past the age of a babysitter and very seldom see them. And do I miss them. Spend time while you can. First time in 49 years I haven't had kids, of some age, coming or going. And I miss it like crazy. Some days are so lonely.


----------



## Twixie

I have 13..mostly boys..most of them live in Italy..4 of them live in the South of France..

I am retired now..and I get lots of ''Momma'' come here...we will buy you a nice flat, next to the sea..

   si prega di venire qui....


----------



## oakapple

Bobw235 said:


> Our son and his wife are dealing with the struggles of having two little ones. He and his wife are constantly sleep deprived. I've already told my son that when we visit next year, we're taking the kids off to the beach so he and our daughter-in-law can get some peace and quiet, get some sleep and mostly get some alone time. I don't know how they do it. We are so looking forward to being temporary babysitters.


 Well Bob, we all did it didn't we? I don't know about you, but we did not have any help at all in raising our 3 children [ever] but the thing is, we were younger then! The sleep deprivation doesn't last all that long, and is part and parcel of family life.Unless they have medical conditions of course, our grown up children should all be able to manage.It's nice to spend time with our grandchildren though, doing things, and not just babysitting.


----------



## oneworld2020

I saw my grandkids when they were younger about every month or more.  But since they are boys, I did not really share their love of sports as they got older.  But one of my grandsons is in college now and he was here yesterday and we talked.  Turns out we have a lot in common, ie history, coin collecting, music, art, politics.  They do grow up.


----------



## oneworld2020

Sounds like some nice vacation time.


----------



## charlotta

My daughter has 2 children.  I was 35 when my daughter was born and she was 32 when my grand son was born and 35 for my grand daughter was born.
He told  his mom, he was old enough to go back by himself. Evidently the dentist bragged about his teeth and showed him his xray.  My grand child asked if they would mail him a copy of his xrays to share with the class.  
We are still stunned about this.

I am very fortunate that I have a 2yr old grand daughter (who is working at teaching me how to use my I Pad) .  She will be 3 the 16th of this month


----------



## Chris in Colorado

Having 4 grandkids nearby we enjoy seeing them often and are rarely called on to "baby sit" since my kids know better. The exception is emergencies when they know we'll help them out. We particularly enjoy picking them up from school where we know we have them only for 2-3 hours unlike having them all day which is exhausting.

On the 1-10 scale I'll go with a 10.


----------



## jujube

Twixie said:


> I have 13..mostly boys..most of them live in Italy..4 of them live in the South of France..
> 
> I am retired now..and I get lots of ''Momma'' come here...we will buy you a nice flat, next to the sea..
> 
> si prega di venire qui....



May I adopt one of your kids?


----------



## Vala

AT one time we had 9 grandchildren all grade school age or younger living in our city and their mothers all wanted me to baby sit them while they worked.  I was the only unemployed female in the family......I got a job.   The first woman I met on the job said, "I had to get a job, all I did was baby sit".


----------



## Georgia Lady

I have 2 daughters.  Nine Grandchildren and five stepgrandchildren.  I love them all.  8 boys and 6 girls.  Oldest is 23 and married.  Youngest is 6.  6 live 20 miles from me.  And the rest live 200 miles away.  I visit all of them often since I am widowed and retired.  My house is too small to entertain all at once.  I cannot imagine my life without them.  I so wish My husband was still alive to see them.  They were the light of his life.  Three of my Grandsons are in college and all keep a high GPA.


----------



## Blaze Duskdreamer

10!  Grandparenting rocks!  All the fun; none of the responsibility.  What happens at Grammy's; stays at Grammy's.  If I let him watch that scene from Supernatural, it's our secret.  (Don't worry.  It was a nonviolent scene.  I had to show him Cas as for a boy raised without religion he has a weird fascination with angels and believes in them and when he found out his unbelieving grandmother loved a character that was an angel...)  Likewise, he knows he can tell me something he doesn't want shared with his mother.  I knew a year before she did that he stopped believing in Santa Claus.  My grandson and I have fun together and I cherish every moment of it.  Also, his personality is so like mine, it's downright eerie.


----------



## avrp

​11!


----------



## 911

We love and spoil ours for all we can. Hate to see them leave. My kids complain that I spend more time with the Grandkids than I do visiting with them. So?


----------



## maplebeez

My grandkids are two Tween boys & two Disney Princesses, who all live far away. And while we don't get to see each other often, we stay in touch with lots of phone calls, e-mails, photos & videos. When we do get together, it's non-stop fun like baking & cooking together, one-day road trips, board game or movie marathons, pizza night, toasting marshmallows by the campfire, or just snuggling on the couch. But the best thing of all are the laughs, giggles, hugs & kisses we share.


----------



## Underock1

We counted ourselves fortunate to live about twenty minutes away from our twin grandsons. Our daughter in law worked, and my wife did not. She asked my wife if she would watch them for 100.a week. My wife told her she would be wiling to pay _her _100.a week for the opportunity. I happened to lose my job at the time during the bad recession, with little hope of finding another, and took over the boys for a year, while my wife went to work. I count that as one of the very best times of my entire life. They were three years old at the time. We had a roaring good time! Three kids with no adult supervision! Running, jumping on beds, laughing. Robert thought it was fun to run away when he needed his diaper changed, and would roll over on his stomach while I was trying to change him. That wasn't as _much _fun. We took them to breakfast every Sunday, and played all the games on the place mats. One day when they were a little older. I was sitting on the toilet around lunch time and a  note was slid under the door with a single word on it "Spaghettios". Lol!
Grandkids? You bet. Most men don't know what they are missing. They were my wife's life. I was very happy to step back into second place and watch her do her thing. Great, great fun!


----------



## Ameriscot

Underock1 said:


> We counted ourselves fortunate to live about twenty minutes away from our twin grandsons. Our daughter in law worked, and my wife did not. She asked my wife if she would watch them for 100.a week. My wife told her she would be wiling to pay _her _100.a week for the opportunity. I happened to lose my job at the time during the bad recession, with little hope of finding another, and took over the boys for a year, while my wife went to work. I count that as one of the very best times of my entire life. They were three years old at the time. We had a roaring good time! Three kids with no adult supervision! Running, jumping on beds, laughing. Robert thought it was fun to run away when he needed his diaper changed, and would roll over on his stomach while I was trying to change him. That wasn't as _much _fun. We took them to breakfast every Sunday, and played all the games on the place mats. One day when they were a little older. I was sitting on the toilet around lunch time and a  note was slid under the door with a single word on it "Spaghettios". Lol!
> Grandkids? You bet. Most men don't know what they are missing. They were my wife's life. I was very happy to step back into second place and watch her do her thing. Great, great fun!



As I said at the beginning of this thread, I don't see mine nearly as often as I'd like since we live in different countries.  But we do spend a month every year in Michigan and get some good quality time with them.  My husband is not their biological grandfather but he is in every other way.  I often Skype the girls though so that is really nice.  Been doing so since they were born!

My sister lives in Michigan and her 5 grandkids are all within half an hour of her house.  She often babysits and is usually called on when one is sick so the parents can still go to work, but normally they are in daycare. Her 3 kids gave her the 5 grandkids within 5 years.  The oldest is about to turn 6 and the youngest about to turn 1.


----------



## muffin

I have 7 Grandsons and 2 Granddaughters and 2 great Granddaughters,
Grandchildren range from 33 down to 18.
But my first grandchild was born when i was 39.
I see them all sometimes.


----------



## QuickSilver

I guess I'm the odd man out here..   I'm not really over the moon ecstatic and breathlessly awaiting a visit from the GKs..  I have 3, two boys and a girl, ages 12,9,& 5.  They are cute and I love them, but they are kids..  and I've never really been a "kid" person.  We don't live all that far from them.. about 30 miles or so.  I see them 3 or 4 times a year when my son brings them over.  Now he is looking for me to spend a day with him and the kids at the zoo..  It should be a nice day.


----------



## Jackie22

I love my grandkids, but only in small dosages...lol....they just really wear me out, I can not physically keep up with them anymore.


----------



## QuickSilver

Jackie22 said:


> I love my grandkids, but only in small dosages...lol....they just really wear me out, I can not physically keep up with them anymore.



AND kids are loud... even when they are behaving.  They tend to make me nervous.  Small doses is the best way IMO.


----------



## Ameriscot

I was over the moon when I found out I was going to be a grandmother.  And jumping up and down when I found out it was a girl as I'd had two sons.


----------



## ndynt

I have been blessed with five beautiful granddaughters, two handsome grandsons and two beautiful great granddaughters. The oldest is 26 and the youngest just turned 1.   None live near me.  So I do not see them often enough. Thankfully, Facebook keeps us in touch.


----------



## Ameriscot

ndynt said:


> I have been blessed with five beautiful granddaughters, two handsome grandsons and two beautiful great granddaughters. The oldest is 26 and the youngest just turned 1.   None live near me.  So I do not see them often enough. Thankfully, Facebook keeps us in touch.



How about Skyping them?  Face to face chats.  Next best thing to being there.


----------



## jujube

I started my Grandma career over again last October when I started babysitting my boyfriend's granddaughter 2-3 days a week.  She wears me out (just turned two) but I wouldn't trade it for the world.  I'm going to miss her these four months while we are away traveling.


----------



## ndynt

Ameriscot said:


> How about Skyping them?  Face to face chats.  Next best thing to being there.


We did that when they were younger.  Now that they are adults, with busy lives, it does not seem a option. Thankfully, my granddaughter in Utah posts pictures and videos, almost daily, of her two little ones.


----------



## Ameriscot

ndynt said:


> We did that when they were younger.  Now that they are adults, with busy lives, it does not seem a option. Thankfully, my granddaughter in Utah posts pictures and videos, almost daily, of her two little ones.



That's nice.  My sister refuses to use FB and I see photos of her grandkids before she does sometimes as her kids are on it.  She'll Skype me and tell me what her kids are up to or where they are on vacation and I tell her I already know.


----------



## ndynt

Ameriscot said:


> That's nice.  My sister refuses to use FB and I see photos of her grandkids before she does sometimes as her kids are on it.  She'll Skype me and tell me what her kids are up to or where they are on vacation and I tell her I already know.


  I can totally relate.  My sister is on FB, only plays games though.  I find out about my nieces and nephews and their children and grandchildren from FB vs her.


----------



## Ameriscot

ndynt said:


> I can totally relate.  My sister is on FB, only plays games though.  I find out about my nieces and nephews and their children and grandchildren from FB vs her.



My sister won't go near it, not even to just have family as friends.  She's still quite a technophobe and one of our brothers has convinced her FB is evil.


----------



## ndynt

Ameriscot said:


> My sister won't go near it, not even to just have family as friends.  She's still quite a technophobe and one of our brothers has convinced her FB is evil.


That evil stand amazes me. I have heard it too many times.  Notice that eventually, many that condemned it, are now on there more than I am.:dunno:  It is what you want it to be.


----------



## Ameriscot

ndynt said:


> That evil stand amazes me. I have heard it too many times.  Notice that eventually, many that condemned it, are now on there more than I am.:dunno:  It is what you want it to be.



She's heard about accounts getting hacked so assumes it's easy - our brother tells her all this stuff.  And they think through FB everything you do online is tracked.  She keeps saying she has no use for it.  But she misses out on things as our sil often posts family invitations on FB because she forgets my sister doesn't have it.  Sister actually missed an event because of that. 

I didn't join for a long time as I thought it was just for kids.  But when I found out my sis in law was on I joined.  We were living in Uganda at the time and it was great for keeping up with people.  I remember following the labour of my nephew's wife with my sis in law through FB.  Nephew would keep us posted and then posted photos of the new baby.  We called it the cyber waiting room.


----------



## Robusta

I don't know how to answer. We love our granddaughter unconditionally. She is the absolute light of our lives.
Problem/Joy I don't know. We are the baby sitters. Her parents both work unconventional shifts with varying hours,making it impossible to have daycare. We step in with having her overnite two days a week and cover a three hour shift change the other days of the week.
Do we like it? No! We do not like the commitment that takes so much of free time!
                     Yes! We love having her around and helping her have as close to an idyllic childhood as we can provide.  Parents don't always have the time to engage her fully where we are able to take our time and teach her the beauty and love that surrounds her.
Family is paramount on my side. We take pride in multigenerational gatherings with close and extended family. We take great joy in letting her know that she will never be alone in the world as long as there is a family member to support her.
I guess that my sense of duty to family out weighs my personal desire to be unencumbered by responsibilities


----------



## QuickSilver

I'm not sure, but I think a lot has to do with the fact the GKs are your son's kids or your daughter's kids.  I don't have girls.. so I am the paternal Grandmother.  I see women who are relaxed with their GKs and "grandparent" them as if they were there own kids.  9 times out of 10.. they are the maternal grandparents.  I am way to nervous with my GKs..  in spite of them being my son's kids... they are STILL some other woman's kids.  Like it or not.. there is a difference I think.  What if they get hurt while I am watching them?  Or sick?  I don't feel the same latitude with them that maternal GMs seem to have..


----------



## Ameriscot

QuickSilver said:


> I'm not sure, but I think a lot has to do with the fact the GKs are your son's kids or your daughter's kids.  I don't have girls.. so I am the paternal Grandmother.  I see women who are relaxed with their GKs and "grandparent" them as if they were there own kids.  9 times out of 10.. they are the maternal grandparents.  I am way to nervous with my GKs..  in spite of them being my son's kids... they are STILL some other woman's kids.  Like it or not.. there is a difference I think.  What if they get hurt while I am watching them?  Or sick?  I don't feel the same latitude with them that maternal GMs seem to have..



I have two sons as well, no daughters.  Another difference between them being your son's or daughter's kids is if they get divorced you often won't have as much access to them if they are your son's kids.

I didn't become a grandmother until I'd lived abroad for 5 years, so never lived close to them.


----------



## QuickSilver

Here's a story..

When my oldest grandson was three.. we went to dinner with my son, DIL, him and his baby sister.   After we left the restaurant, we were walking down a narrow path.  My DIL and grandson were side by side in front..  My Husband and I were next.  and my son was behind my husband carrying the baby.  I turned my head to say something to  my son..  My grandson tripped and fell, and I fell over him.. chipping his one front baby tooth in half.   It was a horrible scene.. I cried, he cried, my DIL cried... We found an emergency dentist and took him in.. He ended up needing a root canal.. which I felt so guilty about, I paid for it.  

NOW.. this was a complete accident... however, I found out years later that my DIL had been harboring hatred for me ever since then...  Went around telling everyone in the family or anyone who would listen that I was drunk and staggering.   Hardly true on one glass of wine with dinner.   BUT.. It did confirm one thing..  I was not going to ever watch the kids again.. and was never allowed to.  I have to think that if I were HER mother, all would have been forgiven.

He's now 13 and has his adult teeth... by the way..


----------



## Ameriscot

QuickSilver said:


> Here's a story..
> 
> When my oldest grandson was three.. we went to dinner with my son, DIL, him and his baby sister.   After we left the restaurant, we were walking down a narrow path.  My DIL and grandson were side by side in front..  My Husband and I were next.  and my son was behind my husband carrying the baby.  I turned my head to say something to  my son..  My grandson tripped and fell, and I fell over him.. chipping his one front baby tooth in half.   It was a horrible scene.. I cried, he cried, my DIL cried... We found an emergency dentist and took him in.. He ended up needing a root canal.. which I felt so guilty about, I paid for it.
> 
> NOW.. this was a complete accident... however, I found out years later that my DIL had been harboring hatred for me ever since then...  Went around telling everyone in the family or anyone who would listen that I was drunk and staggering.   Hardly true on one glass of wine with dinner.   BUT.. It did confirm one thing..  I was not going to ever watch the kids again.. and was never allowed to.  I have to think that if I were HER mother, all would have been forgiven.
> 
> He's now 13 hand has his adult teeth... by the way..



How awful! Yes, if she was your daughter it would have been different.  I've got a DIL from hell and for the life of me will never figure out why my son got together with her.


----------



## QuickSilver

Ameriscot said:


> How awful! Yes, if she was your daughter it would have been different.  I've got a DIL from hell and for the life of me will never figure out why my son got together with her.



 I didn't know for 10 years how much she hated me.. and how much her family did too..  Apparently every word, every movement, every facial expression was critiqued and discussed..  I knew something was wrong with how she was acting, and how my son always seemed to be a bundle of nerves when we were together.  I just couldn't put my finger on it... I kept asking my son, and never got an answer.   Finally it all came to a head over something, which I cannot remember.. Oh.. yes.. I innocently sent her a FB friend request..  anyway.. a huge argument ensued and she ended up telling me everything she hated, and accused me of doing and saying things to her family that I have no recollection of..    Long story short.  She is no longer allowed in my home.. nor  she ever be.   My son brings his kids to see me, and she and I do not interact.. which is fine with me.


----------



## Ameriscot

QuickSilver said:


> I didn't know for 10 years how much she hated me.. and how much her family did too..  Apparently every word, every movement, every facial expression was critiqued and discussed..  I knew something was wrong with how she was acting, and how my son always seemed to be a bundle of nerves when we were together.  I just couldn't put my finger on it... I kept asking my son, and never got an answer.   Finally it all came to a head over something, which I cannot remember.. Oh.. yes.. I innocently sent her a FB friend request..  anyway.. a huge argument ensued and she ended up telling me everything she hated, and accused me of doing and saying things to her family that I have no recollection of..    Long story short.  She is no longer allowed in my home.. nor  she ever be.   My son brings his kids to see me, and she and I do not interact.. which is fine with me.



That's a shame.  What a b*tch.


----------



## QuickSilver

No loss as far as I'm concerned.  I just wish I would have known sooner.


----------



## Ameriscot

QuickSilver said:


> No loss as far as I'm concerned.  I just wish I would have known sooner.



Yes, that would have been helpful.  

I envy my sister getting along so well with her two dils and one sil.  They're all lovely people.  And she's also friends with her kids mother and father in laws, but one set more than the others.


----------



## Butterfly

I am blessed that my DIL and I get along just fine.  She has been a great help to me many times, like when I had my hips replaced, she was the one who took me to the hospital, and popped in to help me out when I was recovering.  My son works various places out of town and is gone for long stretches of time sometimes.  I don't know what I'd have done without my DIL when I had the hips done.  She's also the one I called when I fell and dislocated my shoulder and she dropped everything and took me to the ER and stayed with me during the whole ordeal.  She also has my medical power of attorney, in case someone needs to make decisions and I am not able to do so.  I love and trust her -- she's a true gem.


----------



## QuickSilver

I would say you are very very lucky..


----------



## ndynt

QuickSilver said:


> I didn't know for 10 years how much she hated me.. and how much her family did too..  Apparently every word, every movement, every facial expression was critiqued and discussed..  I knew something was wrong with how she was acting, and how my son always seemed to be a bundle of nerves when we were together.  I just couldn't put my finger on it... I kept asking my son, and never got an answer.   Finally it all came to a head over something, which I cannot remember.. Oh.. yes.. I innocently sent her a FB friend request..  anyway.. a huge argument ensued and she ended up telling me everything she hated, and accused me of doing and saying things to her family that I have no recollection of..    Long story short.  She is no longer allowed in my home.. nor  she ever be.   My son brings his kids to see me, and she and I do not interact.. which is fine with me.


So sorry you had to endure all that.  Strange people. Bless your son. It is good he enables you to see your grandchildren, for both you and the children.  Enjoy your zoo day.


----------



## ndynt

Butterfly said:


> I am blessed that my DIL and I get along just fine.  She has been a great help to me many times, like when I had my hips replaced, she was the one who took me to the hospital, and popped in to help me out when I was recovering.  My son works various places out of town and is gone for long stretches of time sometimes.  I don't know what I'd have done without my DIL when I had the hips done.  She's also the one I called when I fell and dislocated my shoulder and she dropped everything and took me to the ER and stayed with me during the whole ordeal.  She also has my medical power of attorney, in case someone needs to make decisions and I am not able to do so.  I love and trust her -- she's a true gem.


You are truly blessed.


----------



## ndynt

Robusta said:


> I don't know how to answer. We love our granddaughter unconditionally. She is the absolute light of our lives.
> Problem/Joy I don't know. We are the baby sitters. Her parents both work unconventional shifts with varying hours,making it impossible to have daycare. We step in with having her overnite two days a week and cover a three hour shift change the other days of the week.
> Do we like it? No! We do not like the commitment that takes so much of free time!
> Yes! We love having her around and helping her have as close to an idyllic childhood as we can provide.  Parents don't always have the time to engage her fully where we are able to take our time and teach her the beauty and love that surrounds her.
> Family is paramount on my side. We take pride in multigenerational gatherings with close and extended family. We take great joy in letting her know that she will never be alone in the world as long as there is a family member to support her.
> I guess that my sense of duty to family out weighs my personal desire to be unencumbered by responsibilities


Can so relate.  I too lost years of my life having grandchildren live with me.  Though I mourn the time I gave away....I do not regret the time I had with them.  And even now, though I love them all, am closer to the ones that lived with me.


----------



## maplebeez

During visits with my grand kids, they have gotten scrapes, scratches, bumps, bruises, splinters & bee stings and I have yet to loose my grandparent privileges!  More important than if those grand kids are your son's or daughter's children, is that their parents trust putting them in your care.


----------



## QuickSilver

maplebeez said:


> During visits with my grand kids, they have gotten scrapes, scratches, bumps, bruises, splinters & bee stings and I have yet to loose my grandparent privileges!  More important than if those grand kids are your son's or daughter's children, is that their parents trust putting them in your care.




My son does..    DIL.... absolutely not.


----------



## Butterfly

QuickSilver said:


> I would say you are very very lucky..



Yes, I am.  She is just like a daughter to me.


----------



## Warrigal

I'm now waiting to see the great grand children. Being much older now, I don't expect to be trusted to look after them very much but I will do my best to support their parents where I can. 

I really loved every minute I was able to spend with my six grand children and I'm pleased to say that they like having me around now, even though the opportunities are much less than they used to be.


----------



## fishfulthinking

I have 7 grandkids confirmed, one unconfirmed, and 1 on the way.
We rarely get to see any of them due to parental squabbling, due to custody issues so I don't really get to see them or bond with them.  This is ok because they are loud and run to fast.  I am not good grandma material.


----------



## Patnono

I have 1 grandchild who he and my daughter live with me. She doesn't contributes nothing but part of the cable bill, she works PT.  That doesn't bother me as much As I feel she tries to take advantage of me to watch him.  He's in preschool for about 4 hours. My health is not good, I had to retire early because of my health.  She knows this.  I watch him on Monday's for about 5 hours.  And sometimes she goes to the store and is gone for like 2-3 hour's.  Right now she's not speaking to me much because I had refused to watch him.  He's everything to me, his energy could light up New York, he reaks havoc in the house, she doesn't clean up after him and leaves piles of dishes in  the sink. She told my other daughter that because he's my grandson that I should want to watch him?  That really PISST me off!!!  I didn't retire to be his nanny. Her disaplining of him is laughable, she doesn't follow through on what she says, I end up handling him.  I'm done with this, so next year I'am going to look for a room to rent, I've only been staying here for them.  Now I see she doesn't appreciate what I've done for her.  I never asked to be a grandma.  Through I wouldn't trade him for the world, I think this would be better for our relationship?


----------



## hearlady

Patnono tell her you want to be his Grandma, not his babysitter.
My situation is a 10. I wish yours was too.


----------



## Patnono

Thanks, I need to move for my health and for the relationship.  It's uncomfortable living like this, I feel like I came into their world??


----------



## Butterfly

Patnono, I think on another thread you are wondering about the source of your anxiety and stress.  Perhaps this is it.  It sure would be for me.  I couldn't deal with that toxic relationship(s) in my home.


----------



## Patnono

You are correct?  I feel trapped, he's so active when he's around it gets my anxiety going. I do hate feeling this way.


----------



## Butterfly

Patnono said:


> You are correct?  I feel trapped, he's so active when he's around it gets my anxiety going. I do hate feeling this way.



You said above you were thinking about getting out next year.  Were I you, I would do it a lot sooner than that.  Life is to short to stay in a situation that is tearing you up and affecting your health.  Your daughter's childcare issues are not your responsibility, and it is not your problem that she only has a part time job.  What IS your problem is your health, both physical and mental -- do not sacrifice your life on the altar of your daughter's irresponsibility, she apparently doesn't appreciate your help anyway.


----------



## Patnono

I agree, she doesn't appreciate it, but my mom did that to my sister without warning and she ended up homeless living with me and my ex-husband.  The kids always end up paying the price, doing this for my grandson.  My daughter and I are just staying out of each others way.  And someone else is watching him.  She hasn't asked me.  He's in preschool for 4-5 hour's Tuesday-Friday


----------



## Linda

I have 4 in their 20s and one that is 11.  I LOVE having them visit and when they were young I loved babysitting.  I was never taken advantage of though.


----------



## Giantsfan1954

He's adorable!


----------



## Giantsfan1954

Mine are a 6 years old boy,an 8 years old and a 16 years old girl.
I see my grandson the most as they are only 15 minutes away and my girls are in another state.
I watch him usually a few times a month and I enjoy it tremendously, he has brought a lot of joy to my world.


----------

