# Longterm Marriages



## hearlady (Nov 5, 2017)

For anyone in a long term marriage with someone with many opposite points of view. How DO you keep it together?


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## Gary O' (Nov 5, 2017)

good sex helps....


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## Gary O' (Nov 5, 2017)

OK, serious

our 49th year

she's my yin to my yang

(we do laugh a lot....at each other...then at ourselves)


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## debbie in seattle (Nov 5, 2017)

Been married for 43 years.    It takes a lot of hard work on both sides.


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## Toomuchstuff (Nov 5, 2017)

It takes alot of willingness to forgive .  A sense of humor helps,too.  45 years here & alot more to come.


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## DaveA (Nov 5, 2017)

We've been married since 1956.  Dated for 2-1/2 years before that.  In my opinion, it gets easier as the years pass.  The rough edges come at the beginning and once you've smoothed those over, and a few years pass, there's usually no more surprises.  You know each other's strengths and weaknesses, as well as each person's sensitive points.  It helps if you are truly in love with your mate and it's reciprocal.  

Kids come along, you weather the storms together and as they grow and pressures ease, much of your time is spent recalling wonderful memories and also some of the sad events that you've shared along the way.  Except for health problems that creep up on all of us as we age, these later years can be "golden".  If you are fortunate enough to be surrounded by a loving multi-generational family, that's the icing on the cake.

Heading towards our 62nd anniversary in a couple of months and looking back, I wouldn't have had it any other way.

My disclaimer:  This is only our experience.  For many other well-meaning folks, and in some instances, due to situations beyond their control, life has taken them down a totally different path.


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## AZ Jim (Nov 5, 2017)

I've been married 60 years.  Of course it took two wives for that time.  44 years with my new bride.  We are best friends and lovers.


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## Marie5656 (Nov 5, 2017)

*I think it gets easier.  My husband and I had some different views on things early on.  The big thing is to not try to change the other.  Interestingly, on some things my husband has changed his view on things we have disagreed on, as have I.  At least with global, world issues.  When it comes to personal things, more affecting out relationship, it takes much talk and compromise.  Next month we will be married 16 years.*


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## Don M. (Nov 5, 2017)

We've been married for over 52 years.  We're both Bullheaded Germans, and somewhat opinionated.  However, understanding that, we attempt to avoid any confrontations, and generally just make our point, then walk away...letting the other person think about it, instead of arguing.  We still share many activities, and in the rare cases where we have an opposing viewpoint, "time heals all wounds".


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## Capt Lightning (Nov 5, 2017)

44 years for us..   As Hermann Hesse  put it_ — 'When you like someone_, _you like them in spite of their faults. When you love someone, you love them with their faults.'_


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## Pappy (Nov 5, 2017)

61 years this December. A lot of give and take...... I give...she takes..layful:  Seriously, it took a lot of real give and take. Lots of humor and three great kids made it all worth while. I wouldn’t have it any other way.


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## Mrs. Robinson (Nov 5, 2017)

We`ll be celebrating our 50th at the end of December. However,we are very,very much alike so we just haven`t had that many battles.


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## Manatee (Nov 5, 2017)

I will keep this one, after 58 years, I do not have any interest in training a new one.


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## Ken N Tx (Nov 6, 2017)

54 years, one fight, I think I am going to win..


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## Meanderer (Nov 6, 2017)

48 grand years together...we are like two peas in a pod!


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## Warrigal (Nov 6, 2017)

54 years for us, and not a propitious beginning either. 

Taking one's vows seriously helps you weather the rough spots. Time and maturity can allow the union to become unbreakable. 

We are now so grateful that we are still together to be each other's support as we near our end of days. We are friends and help mates and when so many people are lonely, this is like finding the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. 

The most common thing we say to each other is "Thank you". It is in the acts of reciprocal kindness that we express our love. We seldom need to actually say "I love you" because daily we demonstrate the depth of our love.


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## hearlady (Nov 6, 2017)

39 years for us. It still takes a lot of work. I think it's worth but some days.............


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## DaveA (Nov 6, 2017)

Warrigal mentioned the following, in her post;

                 "The most common thing we say to each other is "Thank you". "

"Please" and "thank you" can become forgotten phrases within a marriage, and they shouldn't.  The small niceties and shows of appreciation are important, no matter how many years you have shared.


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## SifuPhil (Nov 6, 2017)

I don't know if this counts, but I've been with my cat Boom-Boom for about a year.

He forgives me when I step on his tail, and I forgive him for clawing me as a result of stepping on his tail. 

Give and take.


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## IKE (Nov 6, 2017)

I've always been a tad hot and hard headed but luckily for me mama said she saw a big heart under my roughish exterior which is what made her want to pursue our relationship and marry.

I'm still not a docile pussycat but between her and getting older I'll admit that I have lost a lot of the wind in my sails......she's an absolutely fantastic lady and I'm very, very fortunate to have had her by my side for the past 41+ years.


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## oldman (Nov 6, 2017)

My wife and I have been married for 50 years as of last April. No secrets. I was out of the house a lot working my job as a pilot for United, so that may have helped. I was always told that it takes three things to make a solid marriage. Love, Trust and Faithfulness. My wife is a retired professor from a major university, so she also traveled a lot.


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## Sassycakes (Nov 6, 2017)

My Husband and I just celebrated our 51st wedding anniversary. We don't always agree on everything but depending on what the issue is one of us will compromise and follow the others desire to do something. I love him even more than I did the year we married,and I pray we will celebrate more anniversaries. I wouldn't want to live one day without him.


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## Kadee (Nov 6, 2017)

We have only been married 30 years ( in September ) this year ...we married when I was 41 hubs 40 ...I must say I’m totally shocked we reached 30 years ..with the issues of having kids in both sides .and a interfering ex ( his) for most of our time together .
There was a major bust up in the family ( his ) beacuse we refused to cop up $2000 for a wedding gift ( that was demanded by the future DIL  at the time,and we would have had to borrow  ) I personally think it was one of the best things that happened ,because it got his ex out of our life and made us closer as a result ...


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