# Christmas on Barney Street



## SifuPhil (Dec 12, 2015)

It's that time of year again!

Yes, *Barney Street* is ramping up to celebrate the holidays!

Mrs. Voight next door has added red and green-tinted bird seed to the feeder out front. As a result our front porch is now becoming a fascinating swirl of colors, thanks to the little avian elves roosting in OUR tree. The "porch light" that roomie purchased from some TV huckster is proudly sitting on the ground out front as well, flashing psychedelically and causing seizures in epileptic holiday strollers.

Even Kat / Mao / Mr. Midnight is joining into the festivities. So far this month he's brought down 6 garlands, 12 antique Christmas balls and several branches from the little tree that sits on the freezer. Way to go, Kitty!

The half-way house across the street is up to their usual Yule hijinks: using empty beer bottles and cans they creatively spelled out "LAND HERE SANTA" on the front sidewalk. They were ably assisted by the local police, who added their own touch with swirling red, white and blue lights.

Mrs. Calabrease down the street has her manger scene all set up! Of course, she hasn't taken it down yet from LAST Christmas, and although some of the characters are starting to display a bit of wear they're still all there (except for the camels - the local meth addicts stole them sometime during last summer for their scrap value).

Even the local businesses are getting into the holiday spirit! Pantry Qwik, the convenience store that I go to, has the usual Hindu soap operas playing on the owner's ceiling-mounted TV set, but now you hear strange foreign renditions of "Santa Baby" blasting out with sitar, tambura and tabla. The customers seem to be joining in with the spirit of things, with an increasing amount of Christmas "shopping" being reported, mainly of rolling papers, cigar tubes and those little bottles of "Energy Drinks" that cost $6 each. As a result, Jim the owner is running around like a crazy reindeer!

The young lady that works part/time there, Modesty, keeps offering me "Christmas Specials" in the storage room, but I never seem to have the extra cash on hand. Boy, some businesses really raise their prices this time of year!

Across the street, the "Caribbean Deli" is doing a land-office business! Even though their minimalist decoration (one piece of tinsel duct-taped to the front door) has drawn some commentary from the locals, you can't deny the smiles of the customers as they come out laden with bundles of brown paper bag-wrapped presents. That the "store" has been closed down again for several weeks due to drug sales is of no concern - Merry Christmas, all!

Finally, stockings are hung with care up at #374 and red lights constantly blaze forth with an almost hypnotic effect! Miss "Kitty" Wanklin is still the mistress of the house, along with her 12 pretty daughters, who are are decked out in gorgeous holiday-inspired red and green lingerie and little pointy hats that say "HO" on them - how much more Christmasy can you get?!? . As always, the traffic of gawkers and "relatives" in front of the house is amazing!

Yes, folks - once again it's *Christmas on Barney Street*!!!


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## Falcon (Dec 12, 2015)

:goodone:      :lol1:      Phil


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## applecruncher (Dec 12, 2015)

> Even Kat / Mao / Mr. Midnight is joining into the festivities. So far this month he's brought down 6 garlands, 12 antique Christmas balls and several branches from the little tree that sits on the freezer. Way to go, Kitty!



Can he jump that high?


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## Jackie22 (Dec 12, 2015)

This made me smile first thing this morning.....very good, Phil.


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## SifuPhil (Dec 12, 2015)

applecruncher said:


> Can he jump that high?



He's an amazing jumper - he routinely jumps into windows 4' high, and the freezer is only 3' tall or so.


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## Pappy (Dec 12, 2015)

Excellent. Must visit Barney St. nthego:


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## jujube (Dec 12, 2015)

My good laugh for the day.....THANKS!!!


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## applecruncher (Dec 12, 2015)

SifuPhil said:


> He's an amazing jumper - he routinely jumps into windows 4' high, and the freezer is only 3' tall or so.



Leaps & bounds....
My cat is also quite a jumper. I recall one time after I’d gone to sleep I was awakened by a “thud” sound. I carefully got out of bed, and went to the kitchen. She had jumped onto the kitchen counter and parked at the cabinet where I stashed (hid) a few containers of the good stuff (Whiskas Filet Mignon)….vs the cheapie Friskies stacked near the litter box….she’s no fool.  The thud I heard was when she hit the microwave.


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## RadishRose (Dec 12, 2015)

Brilliant!


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## Shalimar (Dec 12, 2015)

Philly, if I bring my piano and blues and jazz scores, can we all party?


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## SifuPhil (Dec 12, 2015)

applecruncher said:


> Leaps & bounds....
> My cat is also quite a jumper. I recall one time after I’d gone to sleep I was awakened by a “thud” sound. I carefully got out of bed, and went to the kitchen. She had jumped onto the kitchen counter and parked at the cabinet where I stashed (hid) a few containers of the good stuff (Whiskas Filet Mignon)….vs the cheapie Friskies stacked near the litter box….she’s no fool.  The thud I heard was when she hit the microwave.



Oooh, yas. They know where the good stuff is - they learn fast.

This little moocher is amazing, though - roomie has a life-long habit of leaving the warm left-overs from dinner on top of the stove. I used to try to scurry in and cover them with at least some foil, which was as nothing to Mao - he'd jump up on the stove and munch-munch-munch, right through the foil. 

Then I started clamping metal lids on the pans. The little bugger would knock the pan down on the floor, knowing the lid would pop off. The other night I heard a crash, jump out of bed and ran into the kitchen carrying my big ol' fighting knife - Mao was on the floor, pans all around him, happily munching away at the fried chicken remnants. When I came into the room he crouched down, his eyes got real big and you could see he was trying to figure out which escape route was best.

Like a little kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar, I swear ... now the left-overs get put into the fridge as soon as they cool down, or at least on TOP of it - he hasn't figured out how to get up there yet, but I wouldn't be surprised to one day see him strapping on a jet pack.


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## SifuPhil (Dec 12, 2015)

Shalimar said:


> Philly, if I bring my piano and blues and jazz scores, can we all party?



Oh, hell, yeah! artytime:

I'll introduce you to everyone - I think we'd all have at least a little bit in common. Then at 6am we can all go out for breakfast at Schmeck's Diner, just like the old days ...


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## RadishRose (Dec 12, 2015)

I want to come too Phil, can you introduce me to the TV Huckster?


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## applecruncher (Dec 12, 2015)

These are good videos of cats jumping to get into things. I love the one (think it’s the second one) where cat jumps to get fish filets in freezer. Amazing agility.


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## jujube (Dec 12, 2015)

SifuPhil said:


> He's an amazing jumper - he routinely jumps into windows 4' high, and the freezer is only 3' tall or so.



My daughter's four Siamese demon-cats would not tolerate anything on the mantel, the coffee table or the bar.  Anything and everything was there to be pushed off.  One night, they forgot to close the door to the office and were awakened with a horrendous crash.  They ran into the office to see two of the cats sitting on an empty desk washing themselves innocently, while the computer tower, monitor and keyboard lay on the floor in pieces.  Those limbs of Satan had pushed everything off.  They must have worked in unison, because the tower was heavy.


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## SifuPhil (Dec 12, 2015)

RadishRose said:


> I want to come too Phil, can you introduce me to the TV Huckster?



Yes, but only for a limited time! 

If you come over within the next 3 days I'll also introduce you to his brother Sy, a fantastic guy to have in the kitchen - no more mess! He also carries his own Pocket Fisherman wherever he goes, so you're ready for some outdoor fun as well.

You'll just have to pay separate room ad board (hearing aid batteries not included).


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## applecruncher (Dec 12, 2015)

jujube, wow, what a story! :laugh: I love Siamese but they are beeeches.


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## SifuPhil (Dec 12, 2015)

applecruncher said:


> These are good videos of cats jumping to get into things. I love the one (think it’s the second one) where cat jumps to get fish filets in freezer. Amazing agility.



That wasn't surprising, but still amazing! Now I'll have to put a combination lock on the fridge ... 



jujube said:


> My daughter's four Siamese demon-cats would not tolerate anything on the mantel, the coffee table or the bar.  Anything and everything was there to be pushed off.  One night, they forgot to close the door to the office and were awakened with a horrendous crash.  They ran into the office to see two of the cats sitting on an empty desk washing themselves innocently, while the computer tower, monitor and keyboard lay on the floor in pieces.  Those limbs of Satan had pushed everything off.  They must have worked in unison, because the tower was heavy.



I've never had one, but have always seen Siamese as Devil-Cats. I had a cousin living in Connecticut when I was growing up ... our family would go to visit on a weekend and their Siamese would always be lurking on whatever high vantage point was available. He'd wait until you walked past him and swat you energetically with his paw, then I SWEAR he would grin!

His cry always sounded like a baby's, which made things confusing at the time as cuz had a new-born. Oddly enough that cat seemed to "adopt" the baby - slept in the baby's room at night and "guarded" her for hours on end. When the baby cried the cat would run downstairs and start this hellacious meowing, as if to say "Hey, lady, take care of my kid!"

Knocking down a _computer monitor and tower_, though? I wonder if cats have learned about compound pullies and levers ...


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## applecruncher (Dec 12, 2015)

Fortunately my cat has never jumped up and bothered or broken anything - she stays away from mantle over fireplace, computer and TV (thank goodness), dining room table, bedroom dresser, etc.


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## SifuPhil (Dec 12, 2015)

applecruncher said:


> Fortunately my cat has never jumped up and bothered or broken anything - she stays away from mantle over fireplace, computer and TV (thank goodness), dining room table, bedroom dresser, etc.



I guess those ankle weights helped after all, huh?


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## RadishRose (Dec 12, 2015)

OMG Philly,  BUT WAIT...the Sham Wow guy!  He's coming to Barney St? I will have to get there. I'll never forget this guy. He also sold the Slap Chop. LOLlollol


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## SifuPhil (Dec 12, 2015)

RadishRose said:


> OMG Philly,  BUT WAIT...the Sham Wow guy!  He's coming to Barney St? I will have to get there. I'll never forget this guy. He also sold the Slap Chop. LOLlollol



Oooohhh, the slap chop guy ... "You're gonna' love my nuts" ROFLMAO!







Now those were GOOD commercials!


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## applecruncher (Dec 12, 2015)




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## applecruncher (Dec 13, 2015)




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## applecruncher (Dec 13, 2015)

oops, guess I should have posted these in Animal Antics instread of your Christmas thread, Phil.


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## SifuPhil (Dec 13, 2015)

applecruncher said:


> oops, guess I should have posted these in Animal Antics instread of your Christmas thread, Phil.



That's okay, I don't mind!


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## applecruncher (Dec 13, 2015)

Gotta admit the cat in Post #14 _cracks me up_! :laugh: The way he braces his paw against the freezer then pushes to make the door swing, THEN phase 2 jumps up and actually gets into the freezer. Such tenacity!

Easy to see where the phrase "Cat Burglar" came from.


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