# Online "relationships"....not romantic, though!



## GeorgiaXplant (Jan 10, 2018)

I'm a long-time member of another forum. After a while, it's a piece of cake to identify who the OP is by only reading the header...one who complains incessantly on any subject, one who only posts to announce their new net worth, one who posts to tell us all how much work was accomplished on any given day, another who insists she/her DH know better how to raise their grandchildren than their parents do and just refuses to butt out, an OP who asks for advice on almost a daily basis, then gives a laundry list of why none of the advice can work. There are a couple who have difficulty with decisions...their posts usually start with "what would you do?" or a variation thereof. (Reckon they take the best two out of three? three out of five? LOL) There is also an assortment of hypochondriacs, conspiracy theorists, bewildered parents of toddlers and teens, who, thank all that is holy, merely want to vent.

In spite of it all, they've been there for at least as many years as I have, and it seems as though they're people I know. And in spite of it all, no one ever responds by telling them to suck it up or that their approach is all cattywampus or that they don't know what they're doing or talking about, or even to suggest that they just give up and move on. What they get is whatever is an appropriate response: sympathy, congratulations, encouragement...

This must be what's called friendship...accepting people for what they are and not judging them. Wouldn't it be nice if we were all like this in RL?


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## CindyLouWho (Jan 10, 2018)

Yes, definitely yes....I agree. Wouldn't that be ideal if people were unconditionally accepting of others. I want to live in "that" world. I guess that's what some true friendships could be considered. They say, " Friends are the people who stay in the room, while the others walk out".


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## Shalimar (Jan 10, 2018)

CindyLouWho said:


> Yes, definitely yes....I agree. Wouldn't that be ideal if people were unconditionally accepting of others. I want to live in "that" world. I guess that's what some true friendships could be considered. They say, " Friends are the people who stay in the room, while the others walk out".


What a marvellous saying.


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## Shalimar (Jan 10, 2018)

GeorgiaXplant said:


> I'm a long-time member of another forum. After a while, it's a piece of cake to identify who the OP is by only reading the header...one who complains incessantly on any subject, one who only posts to announce their new net worth, one who posts to tell us all how much work was accomplished on any given day, another who insists she/her DH know better how to raise their grandchildren than their parents do and just refuses to butt out, an OP who asks for advice on almost a daily basis, then gives a laundry list of why none of the advice can work. There are a couple who have difficulty with decisions...their posts usually start with "what would you do?" or a variation thereof. (Reckon they take the best two out of three? three out of five? LOL) There is also an assortment of hypochondriacs, conspiracy theorists, bewildered parents of toddlers and teens, who, thank all that is holy, merely want to vent.
> 
> In spite of it all, they've been there for at least as many years as I have, and it seems as though they're people I know. And in spite of it all, no one ever responds by telling them to suck it up or that their approach is all cattywampus or that they don't know what they're doing or talking about, or even to suggest that they just give up and move on. What they get is whatever is an appropriate response: sympathy, congratulations, encouragement...
> 
> This must be what's called friendship...accepting people for what they are and not judging them. Wouldn't it be nice if we were all like this in RL?


I agree. Giving people permission to be human is a priceless gift, a true gesture of humanity.


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## retiredtraveler (Jan 10, 2018)

I'm the Grinch in this. No, people do things that are clearly against their best interests which often makes impacts someone else's best interest. I'm not going to accept people who have no problem partying and going out driving afterwards. I don't accept people who have no interest in ever voting, regardless of affiliation, ignoring their civic duty. I could list dozens of things that I believe work against the interests of society as a whole, not simply a 'me me' thing. 
   There are entirely too many people with very irresponsible behaviors out there. 

Ok, you can throw rocks at me.............I judge, and I expect people to act like adults.


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## C'est Moi (Jan 10, 2018)

It is interesting how different forums have their own "personalities."   I occasionally visit a forum where it's mostly women participating, and the "vibe" there is very, very harsh.   It's like the anonymity of a keyboard gives license to be hateful.   Needless to say, I usually end up so annoyed by that group that I don't go back for months on end.  

I also frequent an RVing forum where I used to be a moderator.   There are stringent rules about "being nice", and no political or religious discussion is allowed.   It is probably the friendliest forum I have ever participated in.  Sad that there must be so many rules and restrictions for people to behave cordially to one another, but that seems to be the way of the world now.


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## Warrigal (Jan 10, 2018)

I have three things that moderate my posts on forums.

The first is that I am grateful that someone has taken the time and trouble to set it up and I consider myself a guest as I would if I was invited to a BBQ in their backyard. I try to be sociable and curb my mouth if I am feeling a bit snakey. I try not to start fights if I can help it. Much as I dislike the current ban on political subjects, I can see the moderators' point and respect their right to impose it.

The second principle is to try to see behind the username and avatar, realising that every poster is a flesh and blood human with the same feelings that I have. I don't let my relative anonymity give me licence to use my words to wound, just as I wouldn't allow myself to be nasty to another guest at a BBQ. That said, I do enjoy backwards and forwards discussion and get bored when everyone is in furious agreement. When I start a thread I am hoping for different opinions to make it interesting.

And most importantly, I never take anything personally. The ego can be dropped at the login because I am, like everyone else, an anonymous guest, and can easily float above any personal attacks or unintended insults. 'Warrigal' is my shield as well as my username.

That said, I'm sure my words do reveal a lot about the real me, maybe even more than my real life friends know.


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## retiredtraveler (Jan 10, 2018)

C'est Moi said:


> ......I also frequent an RVing forum where I used to be a moderator.   There are stringent rules about "being nice", and no political or religious discussion is allowed.



Just curious. Was the forum RV.NET? I used to be on that forum all the time when I had a popup....


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## C'est Moi (Jan 11, 2018)

retiredtraveler said:


> Just curious. Was the forum RV.NET? I used to be on that forum all the time when I had a popup....



No; iRV2.


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