# Anxiety attacks



## Duneman (Apr 21, 2021)

Question 1 Is it normal for elderly male 72 to have to have   anxiety I think it's anxiety attacks. I take drink or valium for it. 
Question. 2. Important
How is an elderly person to feel living at home happily married but neither has any relatives close by.


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## MarciKS (Apr 21, 2021)

I'm not sure anxiety is normal in any form at any age. Sometimes we simply can't help what is going on. I'm 55 and 5 yrs ago I started having trouble with anxiety really bad. Mine runs in the family though.

I'm not sure what you mean by your second question. I wasn't aware you had to feel bad for not having any loved ones close by. Maybe it's just me.


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## Nathan (Apr 21, 2021)

I would say "common" more so than "normal"...whatever _normal_ is.  
Physical pain contributes to anxiety(and visa versa).
Sunshine, and just being outside is a mood elevator.     Any kind of *exercise* that your body will tolerate is a good boost, not to mention helping strengthen your body for survival.


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## officerripley (Apr 21, 2021)

I'm sort of in the same boat you're in, Duneman; my huzz and I never had any kids. I have a nephew living not too far away and Huzz has a couple of nephews and a niece a little bit farther and they're all wonderful people but have their parents and other stuff to deal with, so it bothers me greatly and I worry about it all the time now that Huzz and I are older. Huzz is either in complete denial about it or doesn't give a damn, I'm not sure which. And unfortunately I can't drink any more--even about 2 oz. a day of wine causes terrible muscle cramps; I've never tried Valium but doubt if my dr. would prescribe it anyway, the docs are reluctant to prescribe much of anything anymore due to the opiod crisis I guess. So on I go worrying; just the way life is gonna be from now on, I guess.


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## Ruthanne (Apr 21, 2021)

I have found that drinking alcohol and taking benzos perpetuates the anxiety in a endless cycle so I no longer take either and feel much better.  I do still have some worrisome thoughts but use self dialogue to help that.


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## Devi (Apr 21, 2021)

@Ruthanne, what are "benzos"?


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## PamfromTx (Apr 21, 2021)

MarciKS said:


> I'm not sure anxiety is normal in any form at any age. Sometimes we simply can't help what is going on. I'm 55 and 5 yrs ago I started having trouble with anxiety really bad. Mine runs in the family though.
> 
> I'm not sure what you mean by your second question. I wasn't aware you had to feel bad for not having any loved ones close by. Maybe it's just me.


That avatar!  lol


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## Ruthanne (Apr 21, 2021)

Devi said:


> @Ruthanne, what are "benzos"?


Benzodiazapines like valium, zanax, et.


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## Devi (Apr 21, 2021)

Ah, thanks @Ruthanne.


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## Pepper (Apr 22, 2021)

Anxiety is a normal reaction to certain situations; it's built into our brains to worry in advance about things treacherous to life.  For excessive anxiety I have mindfulness, meditation, exercise, and most of all Xanax and THC.

I wish you didn't call yourself elderly.  72 is not there yet....................Robert Plant is 72 and I think he's still the cutest guy around!


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## Liberty (Apr 22, 2021)

Think at most any age, we need to learn how to replace the undesirable thoughts with more pleasant ones.  That's the secret...to _change the thinking and eliminate the poisons_.  Learn to meditate and pray. Caring about others is very important - helping others is helping ourselves.  Once we become aware of the higher energies, its a naturally calming effect upon the human body.  Like Spock said "may the Force be with you"...lol.


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## Dana (Apr 22, 2021)

Duneman said:


> Question 1 Is it normal for elderly male 72 to have to have   anxiety I think it's anxiety attacks. I take drink or valium for it.
> Question. 2. Important
> How is an elderly person to feel living at home happily married but neither has any relatives close by.


_I don't understand why you think you are old at 72...also you say you are happily married. How lovely that is...many don't have that, they live alone. Some cope, some don't. Taking drink and valium is not the answer 

You may benefit more from talking to a life therapist. Learn some strategies to cope with anxiety. Perhaps you are spending too much time in the house. Having relatives close by, is neither here nor there.  Now is the time to seek out what facilities you can make use of in your area. Sometimes friends can be your "relatives."_


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## Rosemarie (Apr 22, 2021)

What exactly are you anxious about? Is it that you fear something happening and there being no-one close enough to help? In Britain, we have an organisation you can sign up to,  which has emergency help at the end of a button. They give you a bracelet which you press if you need help. Isn't there something similar in the States?


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## officerripley (Apr 22, 2021)

Liberty said:


> Think at most any age, we need to learn how to replace the undesirable thoughts with more pleasant ones.  That's the secret...to _change the thinking and eliminate the poisons_.  Learn to meditate and pray. Caring about others is very important - helping others is helping ourselves.  Once we become aware of the higher energies, its a naturally calming effect upon the human body.  Like Spock said "may the Force be with you"...lol.


While I've heard that the above can be a help to some, but for those of us who don't believe in any higher energies--or of anything for which there's no scientific proof, for that matter--it would be a help to have something to help forget the worst parts of reality, you know something to get through the long old days or nights. The times I've tried meditation, it just made me both bored and even more anxious at the same time somehow. (I was told back in the late 60s, maybe early 70s, that unfortunately that's a common effect for some people who try to meditate; IIRC, no one knew why.)


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## SetWave (Apr 22, 2021)




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## Liberty (Apr 22, 2021)

officerripley said:


> While I've heard that the above can be a help to some, but for those of us who don't believe in any higher energies--or of anything for which there's no scientific proof, for that matter--it would be a help to have something to help forget the worst parts of reality, you know something to get through the long old days or nights. The times I've tried meditation, it just made me both bored and even more anxious at the same time somehow. (I was told back in the late 60s, maybe early 70s, that unfortunately that's a common effect for some people who try to meditate; IIRC, no one knew why.)


Would assume you do believe in the ability to change your thoughts (self awareness).  Will operates in opposition to mind.  Mind is like a VCR that simply replays thoughts over and over again until the will directs differently.

Surely there are some  pleasant things and happier thoughts you "do" believe in.  The key is to change the (mind) thought patterns and to then concentrate on the now desired thought patterns.  That changes the old (mind) thought patterns,replacing them with the desired ones.  Thoughts are things.


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## Chet (Apr 22, 2021)

You might be misdiagnosing yourself about anxiety attacks. Lay off the drugs and booze and get some good sleep and you will feel better.


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## mellowyellow (Apr 22, 2021)

Something within our world (the person usually has no self-awareness of what it actually is) is causing such acute anxiety, it results in a panic or anxiety attack. Heartening to know it’s only neurosis and not psychosis and can be cured and will eventually pass once things improve.

*Neurosis*_ is a mild mental disorder NOT arising from organic diseases – instead, it can occur from stress, depression or anxiety.

*Psychosis* is a major personality disorder characterised by mental and emotional disruptions. It is much more severe than *neurosis* – often impairing and debilitating the affected individual_.


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## Dana (Apr 22, 2021)

officerripley said:


> While I've heard that the above can be a help to some, but for those of us who don't believe in any higher energies--or of anything for which there's no scientific proof, for that matter--it would be a help to have something to help forget the worst parts of reality, you know something to get through the long old days or nights. The times I've tried meditation, it just made me both bored and even more anxious at the same time somehow. (I was told back in the late 60s, maybe early 70s, that unfortunately that's a common effect for some people who try to meditate; IIRC, no one knew why.)


Hi officerripley...I agree meditation is not for everyone. It can be very scary to sit in the quiet and try to go inside the mind. I love it but then I have been meditating for many years. 

One thing I would say though is that having a mantra playing in your head during the times when feeling things are getting on top can help a lot. Even when I am not meditating and something has the possibility of riling me up, I use my mantra.  I have a specific one...it's important to choose one and stick to it. The fewer words the better. Mine consists of four words....and no! it's not "I love eating chocolate!"


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## officerripley (Apr 22, 2021)

Liberty said:


> Would assume you do believe in the ability to change your thoughts (self awareness).  Will operates in opposition to mind.  Mind is like a VCR that simply replays thoughts over and over again until the will directs differently.
> 
> Surely there are some  pleasant things and happier thoughts you "do" _*believe *_in.  The key is to change the (mind) thought patterns and to then concentrate on the now desired thought patterns.  That changes the old (mind) thought patterns,replacing them with the desired ones.  Thoughts are things.


I don't _believe _in anything; in fact, I dislike the very words "believe" or "belief." I prefer the word "think", for instance,  "I _think _[or do not _think_] there is enough evidence to support..." The only pleasant or happier thoughts I have access to are memories of the past and I think it's a trap to think too much about the past since it's over and done with and (in my case and the case of a lot of older people) will never happen again. So thinking too much about the past is unpleasant to me since it contrasts sadly with the present and the likely future. I prefer to study information and facts I'm interested in, preferably in the form of reading.


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## Liberty (Apr 23, 2021)

officerripley said:


> I don't _believe _in anything; in fact, I dislike the very words "believe" or "belief." I prefer the word "think", for instance,  "I _think _[or do not _think_] there is enough evidence to support..." The only pleasant or happier thoughts I have access to are memories of the past and I think it's a trap to think too much about the past since it's over and done with and (in my case and the case of a lot of older people) will never happen again. So thinking too much about the past is unpleasant to me since it contrasts sadly with the present and the likely future. I prefer to study information and facts I'm interested in, preferably in the form of reading.


Well, if you "prefer to study information and facts I'm interested in, preferably in the form of reading"...why not concentrate on that and change your thinking to a more positive mode. The key is to change your built in fear based negative thinking to a more positive program, like switching channels.


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## cdestroyer (Apr 23, 2021)

anxiety is a real pain in the back side!! I live alone with no family anywhere! I deal with this problem constantly being mostly shut in due to acute COPD and oxygen usage. I have rx for zanax,ativan. I used to drive around town and just look at things, then when I went home I felt better.


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## cdestroyer (Apr 24, 2021)

was in a local grocery store a couple of years before the pandemic. Looking over the veggies when two older women met and hugged each other, then another came up and hugged... nobody hugged me. and I said gee I never get hugged,,, of course I got the evil eye from all three....prevert. and yall may think it funny but I do not!! I wear a cap stating my veteran status, so why pass me off?


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## RadishRose (Apr 24, 2021)

Here's a cyber hug for ya- ((((Tom))))


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## saltydog (Apr 24, 2021)

You’re not alone. It’s said everyone experiences anxiety. It’s when it becomes overwhelming and prevents us from doing everyday things is when it becomes a problem.

When I get over anxious I use a deep breathing exercise I read about 25 years ago. I take as deep of breath as I can through my nose and mouth, hold it for 7 seconds, then slowly release the air for 8 seconds. It helps me anyway. I’ll repeat it, until I feel relaxed.


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## Shalimar (Apr 24, 2021)

Here’s the thing. What bothers me most about a reductionist western insistence that an anxious person should just grasp proactivity  and run with it until they are “cured,” is that it doesn’t always work, at least in the short term. If  it

fails, all too often an Uber stressed individual is castigated for not working hard enough to take control of their life. Adding shame/blame/guilt to the list of negative emotions already crowding their brain can be crazy making. I believe that

learning/utilising coping  mechanisms is often a passport out of anxiety, that we are responsible for trying to better our mental health if competent to do so. But, but, I also embrace the Buddhist philosophy of stopping action, and

sitting in the moment, waiting for the mind to have an opportunity to clear, and begin to heal itself. Sometimes, no matter what we do, the journey to a healthier mind is a very painful, jagged, back and forth, up and down thing. That

is ok. I have a huge portfolio of coping mechanisms, hey, I teach them. Lol. Yet, anxiety has walked with me, off and on for years. Is that normal? Dunno, but it is normal for me.


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## Shalimar (Apr 24, 2021)

cdestroyer said:


> was in a local grocery store a couple of years before the pandemic. Looking over the veggies when two older women met and hugged each other, then another came up and hugged... nobody hugged me. and I said gee I never get hugged,,, of course I got the evil eye from all three....prevert. and yall may think it funny but I do not!! I wear a cap stating my veteran status, so why pass me off?


 Big hug, and a kiss on the cheek from a small Canuck.


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## cdestroyer (Apr 24, 2021)

would it help to breath those 7 seconds without causing a panic attack watch my o2 level drop


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## Shalimar (Apr 24, 2021)

I don’t understand?


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## horseless carriage (Apr 24, 2021)

Duneman said:


> Question 1 Is it normal for elderly male 72 to have to have   anxiety I think it's anxiety attacks. I take drink or valium for it.
> Question. 2. Important
> How is an elderly person to feel living at home happily married but neither has any relatives close by.


Sorry if this sounds brutal, but nobody has ever found solace at the bottom of the bottle. If it were so, it would have been on prescriptions decades ago. As for your second point: 

The phrase 'If the mountain will not come to Muhammad then Muhammad must go to the mountain, arises from the story of Muhammad as retold by Francis Bacon, in Essays, 1625: "

And when the Hill stood still, he was neuer a whit abashed, but said; If the Hill will not come to Mahomet, then Mahomet must go to the hill.

Loosely translated it simply means that potential friends are not about to come knocking on your door. But if you do something about that, like join an association, a church group, a music society or anything that puts you in touch with like minded people, you will quickly become enriched with the company of others.


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## Shalimar (Apr 24, 2021)

horseless carriage said:


> Sorry if this sounds brutal, but nobody has ever found solace at the bottom of the bottle. If it were so, it would have been on prescriptions decades ago. As for your second point:
> 
> The phrase 'If the mountain will not come to Muhammad then Muhammad must go to the mountain, arises from the story of Muhammad as retold by Francis Bacon, in Essays, 1625: "
> 
> ...


  I think that may depend on the severity and root cause of a person’s anxiety. While I agree that reaching out to the community in some form or another can be beneficial, sometimes an individual is unable to find the emotional/mental

strength to deal with social situations. Even with therapy etc, the healing process can  be a lonely journey, at least in the beginning. That has been my personal experience on more than one occasion.


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## Shalimar (Apr 24, 2021)

Also, although drugs and booze are crutches at best, even Freud acknowledged that at times we need escapes to get us through the night. Life can be messy and very painful, healing almost always is.


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## cdestroyer (Apr 24, 2021)

"shalimar" what saltydog said hold your breath for 7 seconds as if I could.


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## Shalimar (Apr 24, 2021)

cdestroyer said:


> "shalimar" what saltydog said hold your breath for 7 seconds as if I could.


Ohh, thanks for clearing that up.


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## chic (Apr 24, 2021)

Rosemarie said:


> What exactly are you anxious about? Is it that you fear something happening and there being no-one close enough to help? In Britain, we have an organisation you can sign up to,  which has emergency help at the end of a button. They give you a bracelet which you press if you need help. Isn't there something similar in the States?


No we don't have that here.


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## officerripley (Apr 24, 2021)

Shalimar said:


> Also, although drugs and booze are crutches at best, even Freud acknowledged that at times we need escapes to get us through the night. Life can be messy and very painful, healing almost always is.


True; there are all kinds of crutches: food, shopping, religion, astrology. What works for some, doesn't work for others and I of course admire those who truly don't need any kind of crutch. (Although I do wonder if such people even exist; at any rate, I'm tired of judgment.)


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## chic (Apr 24, 2021)

I do feel people need to escape more now than before the pandemic. There's so much more at the present time to be anxious about that if someone wanted a drink to help them sleep, I wouldn't condemn it, but it is better to try to find something to escape "into" than "away from."


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## Rosemarie (Apr 24, 2021)

Many of us simply think too much. We all have imagination and it's easy to find yourself thinking about all the dreadful things that could happen. I use my imagination to create an alternative life for myself....a bit like role playing but it's strictly inside my own head. I do find that if I concentrate on good things happening, it does lift my mood.


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