# Tell the truth or spare feelings?



## debodun (Jan 5, 2017)

If a friend or relative published a book and you read it and didn't like it and they asked if you did, what would you say?


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## BlunderWoman (Jan 5, 2017)

I would lie of course. I wouldn't say " Wow! That's the best book I ever read!" but I would lie. I'd probably say something like " Thanks for letting me read it. You must feel proud of your hard efforts." If they have their book available online they will get honest feedback and you needn't be the one to strain your relationship.

edited to add:

What one person dislikes to read another person might very well enjoy. Maybe tell your friend/relative that they can get more honest opinions online where a person does not feel pressured giving an opinion.


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## Wilberforce (Jan 5, 2017)

But what you said is not a lie, that is the truth as I see it.

If I was pressed I would tell the truth  or I would not answer. I might soften it as much as I could with comments as above but I would not lie. I don't want folks to lie to me. I think the truth and trust go together  and I have a great deal of respect for someone who is honest as it is not always easy to be so.


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## Victor (Jan 5, 2017)

As one who has wrote and published a novel, I can tell you that many people will either not read and act like they did or else say something
very vague, or mention a passage in the book. Most of them say nothing or they say they have not read it yet, which may be true or a lie.
I do not want a lie either but I would prefer that they admit that they haven't read it. Most of my family would not read it. No excuses. They had no interest at all.
Some people will say they do not have the time which  might be true. Actually, I think a few of my "friends" did not even buy or get the book--they lied about it.
The best nonprofessional reviews came from people I hardly knew, one lady from the internet.

Your answer depends on what sort of book it is, fiction or nonfiction and what subject. You can always say that you ordinarily do not read that subject
or thatgenre of fiction or whatever it is. My opinion is worthless on subjects I know nothing about. If it is a romance, I would say that I never read
romances, etc. Same with cookbooks,


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## Wilberforce (Jan 5, 2017)

Absolutely right.


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## Carla (Jan 5, 2017)

Surely you could find something positive even if overall, you didn't care for it. I believe in sparing feelings whenever possible but if it was a close friend and they insisted upon my honesty--I would be very gentle, accenting the good points!


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## Wilberforce (Jan 5, 2017)

I agree there is always something positive to find, and that is not telling lies , making up a story with no basis is telling lies, so in the case of the person with the book one would compliment their effort, their bravery, perhaps it might be truthful to say that you would not be able to achieve what the friend had done and that you admire them for that..no lies there just tact and kindness. Although  you  might find the book was truly awful  it may not be to someone else so it may be appropriate to be honest and state that it didn't appeal to you personally but that doesn't take away from the achievement.


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## debodun (Jan 6, 2017)

The plot was interesting, but the book was filled with spelling and grammatical errors which I found distracting. I wonder if anyone proofed it. The publisher was a small independent firm and I'd not be surprised that the author self-paid to have it done.


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## mitchezz (Jan 6, 2017)

I would just focus on the positives and praise them for finishing the book and seeing it through to publication whether self published or otherwise.


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## OneEyedDiva (Jan 8, 2017)

debodun said:


> The plot was interesting, but the book was filled with spelling and grammatical errors which I found distracting. I wonder if anyone proofed it. The publisher was a small independent firm and I'd not be surprised that the author self-paid to have it done.


I like BlunderWoman's answer. It amazes me how many published pieces have grammatical errors in them. I've noticed it when I'm reading the news online. WHO are these editors? They don't know English and grammar? How the heck do they get the job as editors?  I usually find grammatical and punctuation errors very annoying.  A few weeks ago, I saw a money headline in USA Today with a blatant mistake.  It read something like Are Your Mom and Day Overspending? Day instead of Dad...really?! How did the editor(s) not catch this?!!  SMH.


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## debodun (Jan 8, 2017)

Some are actually amusing. One sentence used the term "women's vespers" having to do with emotional swings that affect some ladies. I am sure the author meant "vapors" (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vapours_(disease)) and not "vespers". Another was "bad mitten" for the sport "badminton".

Other constantly misspelled words were "bore" and not "boar" for a male pig. Also, "cliental", I assume from the context, meant "clientele". And the constant habit of putting prepositions at the end of a sentence.

I am probably being over fussy.


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## dog lover (Jan 8, 2017)

I had a friend who wrote a book that was a mix of a romance novel and a ghost story. Not something I would normally read, but I read it for her, after publication. I was able to be honest because she did maintain a good level of suspense in the story line. Even though I didn't much care for the topics, it was well written. The public agreed, she made a career of it.

I don't know how I would have handled it if she had handed it to me before publication and it had been badly written. I would have felt terrible not telling the truth because it would not have been helpful and set her up for future failure. I think at that point it would have come down to her personality and how she would have handled critique.

Personally, I would want to hear blunt honesty. Critique me, tell me when you think I am wrong, let me re-examine myself, allow me to grow.


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## Vega_Lyra (Mar 26, 2017)

Sometimes truth hurts....


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## LinuxCat (Mar 26, 2017)

If I didn't like it I would say as much and explain why, as gently as possible. my friends and family know I am an Artist and would expect a genuine critique, and where constructive criticism is offered in the form of  " I think for your next book you should consider, etc,etc, I believe it is generally welcome.Anyone can write a good book if they are encouraged along the way, and no-one wants to write a bad one.
Being encouraging and honest at the same time  is not a contradiction.


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## nvtribefan (Mar 26, 2017)

debodun said:


> The plot was interesting



There is your answer.


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## Linda (Mar 27, 2017)

I know several people who have written books and I have lied to some of the authors.  I agree with Blunderwoman's answer.  

Let Joe Public give them the honest critique.


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## kaesy (Mar 27, 2017)

I read a friend's book. It wouldn't be normally what I would read.  I found passages within the book that I enjoyed and concentrated on those when I talked about it to them.


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## jujube (Mar 27, 2017)

I had a friend who "self-published" a sci-fi novel.  She gave everyone she knew a copy and constantly wanted to know what they thought about it.  Frankly, it was awful.  She pinned me down at a party and I responded with some general mumbling about "unusual character development" and "turns of plot" until she was satisfied.  Last I heard from her, she was trumpeting about "negotiations with Hollywood".  Uh.


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## WhatInThe (Mar 27, 2017)

I'd give safe but honest answers. If they go into to detail I will too no matter how agonizing or pesky.


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## Jaynee (Sep 14, 2017)

I would probably say "It's a good read.  The main thing is, did you have fun writing it."   I would say that because I wrote a book, guess I should say manuscript, because it was never published. But I sure had fun researching and writing it!  Saying "It's a good read' is not actually saying you liked it.


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## applecruncher (Sep 14, 2017)

*"I thought the (xxxxxxxxx) part was really interesting. I can tell you put in a lot of work." 
*
As with movies, actors, & TV shows, books that others like aren't always to my tastes and vice versa.


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## JaniceM (Sep 14, 2017)

debodun said:


> If a friend or relative published a book and you read it and didn't like it and they asked if you did, what would you say?



I was raised with the concept of tact-  in a situation like that, I'd find something that I did like about the book and make a positive comment about it.
These days- or at least locally-  individuals don't believe in tact.  But I believe it's unnecessary and negative to intentionally hurt someone's feelings, and it's not necessary to lie to avoid hurting someone's feelings.


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## Sassycakes (Sep 15, 2017)

I don't think I have the qualifications to rate how good or bad a book is, or  if people would like it or dislike it. Everyone has different taste in what they enjoy reading. I would say I give them a lot of credit for tackling the job of writing a book and then point out any thing I thought was good in it.


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## Camper6 (Sep 15, 2017)

Spare feeling as all time.  There's nothing to be gained by not sparing them.

My friend has breathing problems.  I can tell him it's because he's way overweight.  But he already knows that.


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## Cap'nSacto (Sep 26, 2017)

When someone asks your opinion on a manuscript that they intend to publish, always, ALWAYS be absolutely honest and specific.


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## Lara (Oct 1, 2017)

This is what happens when you don't tell the truth on your 
job resume about being a professional sheep herding dog:
(oops, slightly off topic)


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