# Dear Walmart Shoppers (My Letter To Them - LOL!)



## Pookie (Nov 28, 2015)

As you know, I'm a customer service manager at Walmart. While 95% of you shoppers are absolutely delightful and brighten my day just by walking in the door, the other 5% of you need some ... refining. This is my letter for that 5%.

Dear Walmart Shoppers,

While I am glad to see you and greet you with a smile, do not think I will put up with certain lousy behaviors and habits. Those belong at home.

1. Please put the phone down when you're conducting business at the service desk or the register. First of all, it's rude. Second, I'd rather not hear you cussing out your boyfriend and dropping the f-bomb, and third, when I ask you a question, yelling "I'm on the @#$%&!! phone, b****!!" at me is not the point.

2. The bag carousel is not a playground for your children. It's dangerous and annoying. Please do us all a favor and duct-tape your unruly monsters to the bottom of your buggy.

3. Please understand the self-checkouts are exactly that. Self-checkouts. No, my cashiers are not going to do it for you. They have seven other registers to watch and to be very honest, if you really want to know, no, you aren't that important.

4. If an item rings up at a higher price than you claim, calling me names and blaming me for the discrepancy is not going to make someone come any faster to do your price check for you. Just saying.

5. The speedy checkouts do not have signs on them that say, "Twenty Items or More." The signs say, "Twenty Items or_* Less*_." During last year's store remodel, this prompted me to suggest having an automatic trapdoor in front of these that open up and swallow you on item #21.

6. We ask to see your ID if you look under 40 for alcohol and tobacco purchases. That is a North Carolina state law and is not our way of annoying you. We will especially ask you for ID when for the boys, you have no facial hair, your voices haven't dropped yet, and for the girls, you're not even in a trainer bra yet. Please be aware of this.

7. We sincerely appreciate our shoppers bringing their own reusable grocery bags, and we are very skilled at packing these exactly the way you desire. However, flinging your bags at us and yelling, "Pack 'em! And do it right!!" is highly likely to result in a couple of broken eggs and a hole through your bread. Also, we don't do bugs. Seeing ants and roaches scurrying out of your reusable bags will not prompt us to touch them; therefore, you get the plastic bags and don't bother arguing about it.

8. And for the _*last*_ time, dearest shoppers, Walmart does _*not*_ refund items bought at Target, Kmart, Belk's, or any other store. I can't stress this enough.

9. We do not ad-match used items sold on Ebay. That IPhone 6 you've chosen is brand new; the one on Ebay is used and the screen is completely shattered, and you're absolutely not getting a brand-new IPhone 6 for $75.00. 

10. Any product that comes into direct contact with bodily fluids is definitely not returnable. Please refrain from returning used pregnancy tests because they were wrong.

11. You might think returning items you claim are unopened will result in us taking your word for it. That's not our policy; we open all boxes and stuffing your husband's old drill into a new box and trying to get a refund on the new drill only makes you look rather ridiculous.

12. If you've put a bigger engine into your truck and the battery you bought two years ago won't fit now, no, we can't exchange it even with a receipt. Please don't even try.

13. Calling us and ordering a MoneyGram over the phone with a credit or debit card number is an exercise in futility. How do we know it's your card? We know this is a scam. Think about it.

14. Speaking of credit and debit cards, when your card is declined, no, it's not our financial system at fault. There are several reasons why this happens, and it's up to you to resolve the issue. We will not call your bank or credit card company, and we are unable to "turn a key" into the register to force the system accept it.

15. Please don't bring your spider monkeys, bearded dragons, and snakes into the store. These are definitely not service animals and we're not convinced, much less impressed.

16. Although Walmart doesn't have a dress policy for its customers, during the summer, please leave a little something to the imagination. It cuts down on the nausea. Oh...and coming into the store in your pajamas isn't very attractive either.

17. Our door greeters check receipts for a reason. Yelling "Racism!", "Discrimination!", or "I'm being attacked!" seriously doesn't work out real well for you. There are things called cameras all over the store, including the entrances.

18. We understand that some of you have health issues, and we're sorry you do. No one likes health issues, and we seriously care about you. However, showing us your colostomy bag and all its contents isn't necessary. Believe me, we'll take your word for it.

19. Teens joyriding on the MartCarts is also unnecessary. They are not toys and not to be used for playing bumper cars. They are there for folks with physical disabilities and we don't think you're cute and we will take them away from you.

20. Last but definitely not least, when we're on registers and closing it, cleaning it, and collecting the returns with the "Lane Closed" sign out and the light off, don't come flying up and start putting your stuff on the belt saying, "You're opening, right?" and get mad at us when we say, "No, I'm sorry, I'm not open." Seriously...what part of the "Lane Closed" sign and the light off did you not get? 

We hope this letter will help you work better with us, and thank you for shopping at Walmart.

Sincerely,
Pookie
Customer Service Manager


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## Bobw235 (Nov 29, 2015)

I love this!  Good stuff.  It never ceases to amaze me when I see some of the folks who stroll through Walmart; the pajamas comment is spot on!  I don't shop at our local Walmart very often, but do tend to go there for bird feed because the prices are decent and they carry a good variety.

A few years back we had an "incident" while trying to get a propane tank refill.  I paid in the store, then went out to the garden section and waited....and waited....and waited.  Finally went back inside and told the cashier that no one had come to exchange the tank.  I went back outside to wait somemore.  In the meantime, my wife is in the car, waiting for me and we're both doing the slow burn.  After about 20 minutes, she found me and took matters into her own hands inside the store, while I waited for help outside.  I would not have wanted to be the person she confronted inside the store.  She let them have it, then followed up with a call to the store manager, who was most apologetic and ended up giving her a gift certificate for all the hassle.  Apparently no one could find the one person in the entire store who had the key to unlock the propane tanks, and he wasn't answering the pages for him to go and help a customer.  

I don't envy you Pookie.  Got to be a tough job in customer service.


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## Pookie (Nov 29, 2015)

Bobw235 said:


> I love this!  Good stuff.  It never ceases to amaze me when I see some of the folks who stroll through Walmart; the pajamas comment is spot on!  I don't shop at our local Walmart very often, but do tend to go there for bird feed because the prices are decent and they carry a good variety.
> 
> A few years back we had an "incident" while trying to get a propane tank refill.  I paid in the store, then went out to the garden section and waited....and waited....and waited.  Finally went back inside and told the cashier that no one had come to exchange the tank.  I went back outside to wait somemore.  In the meantime, my wife is in the car, waiting for me and we're both doing the slow burn.  After about 20 minutes, she found me and took matters into her own hands inside the store, while I waited for help outside.  I would not have wanted to be the person she confronted inside the store.  She let them have it, then followed up with a call to the store manager, who was most apologetic and ended up giving her a gift certificate for all the hassle.  Apparently no one could find the one person in the entire store who had the key to unlock the propane tanks, and he wasn't answering the pages for him to go and help a customer.
> 
> I don't envy you Pookie.  Got to be a tough job in customer service.



Woooo! Thank you!

I had an experience once with an associate in the garden center. The rule is, in our store, when a garden center associate goes off the clock for a meal break, he/she must give either the department manager or a customer service manager the keys.

A lady was looking to exchange a propane tank. The dingbat took the keys with her on her lunch break. I approached her in the break room, asked very nicely for the keys, and she cussed me before giving up the keys. She said she was tired of having to go to the front and find one of us to give the keys to and she was sick of being bugged by one of us on her lunch break.

I patiently explained that she could leave the keys at the podium for us. The jewelry folks do this as well. It's what we do. Leave the keys for us at the podium where we can find them with no difficulty.

I'm sorry that happened, and as a Walmart customer service manager, I do apologize. That makes me feel bad, and I am sorry.

Here's an idea. Call the store manager, and suggest the issue with keys as I said we do. Tell them you know of a store with CSMs and associates who do this. Maybe you could change this procedure and make it better for yourself and for your fellow shoppers. 

It couldn't hurt. Make sense?


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## Bobw235 (Nov 29, 2015)

Pookie,
Oh believe me, they changed after my wife got in touch with the manager.  Let us just say that she was very accomodating (this happened several years ago) and couldn't have been more apologetic at the time.  Never had a problem after that experience.  My wife is a bit more "expressive" when it comes to showing her displeasure at poor customer service and I'm sure she made that known at the time.  
Bob


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## Pappy (Nov 29, 2015)

Our Walmart here, the tire and garage center do the propane fills. We do have too many problems with the pharmacy, I realize you have nothing to do with them, not filling orders on time and transferring our prescriptions up north. 
We always take time to greet the greeter back. Most of them are older, retired folks who need a little help. Only takes a second to say, Good morning.


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## applecruncher (Nov 29, 2015)

These issues aren't unique to Walmart - they also happen at other stores.


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## Don M. (Nov 29, 2015)

Whenever I feel a bit gloomy, I go to a web-site at "Peopleofwalmart.com", and look at some of the pictures of some of the shoppers....and Invariably I feel much better about my life.  I cannot believe how some people allow themselves to be seen and behave in public....and it's not just Walmart.


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## jujube (Nov 29, 2015)

I LOVE YOU, POOKIE!!!  Thanks for the laugh!


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## fureverywhere (Nov 29, 2015)

15. Please don't bring your spider monkeys, bearded dragons, and snakes into the store. These are definitely not service animals and we're not convinced, much less impressed.

I love it...a bearded service dragon


They used to allow dogs in the store I was in, leashed and under control. I wasn't there the day someone brought in a pittie in their carriage who got loose in the store. Management wasn't pleased having a Code Adam for a dog.


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## applecruncher (Nov 29, 2015)

> 1. Please put the phone down when you're conducting business at the service desk or the register. First of all, it's rude. Second, I'd rather not hear you cussing out your boyfriend and dropping the f-bomb, and third, when I ask you a question, yelling "I'm on the @#$%&!! phone, b****!!" at me is not the point.



Many stores won’t service people on their phones – they have posted clear LARGE signs. They will just say “Next!”  If you need to call someone about the transaction, step aside, deal with your issue, and let the next person get service.


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## Pookie (Nov 29, 2015)

Bobw235 said:


> Pookie,
> Oh believe me, they changed after my wife got in touch with the manager.  Let us just say that she was very accomodating (this happened several years ago) and couldn't have been more apologetic at the time.  Never had a problem after that experience.  My wife is a bit more "expressive" when it comes to showing her displeasure at poor customer service and I'm sure she made that known at the time.
> Bob



Okay. I'm glad that was resolved. I was going to PM you and ask for the phone number of that store and call them myself. I've done it before. I believe in good customer service because, well...I'm a customer too, right?



Pappy said:


> Our Walmart here, the tire and garage center do the propane fills. We do have too many problems with the pharmacy, I realize you have nothing to do with them, not filling orders on time and transferring our prescriptions up north.
> We always take time to greet the greeter back. Most of them are older, retired folks who need a little help. Only takes a second to say, Good morning.



I don't use our pharmacy except for insulin and syringes for my diabetic cat. You're right about that. Thank you so much for being so good to our greeters. You're correct there, too. They are often older, and sometimes they need some extra restroom visits. I fill in for them for those few minutes and it's nice to be greeted in return. Thank you for your kindness; you don't know how much we appreciate people like you.



applecruncher said:


> These issues aren't unique to Walmart - they also happen at other stores.



Yep! Depressing, ain't it?



Don M. said:


> Whenever I feel a bit gloomy, I go to a web-site at "Peopleofwalmart.com", and look at some of the pictures of some of the shoppers....and Invariably I feel much better about my life.  I cannot believe how some people allow themselves to be seen and behave in public....and it's not just Walmart.



Tell me about it! LOL!! I love that site! I've uploaded maybe half a dozen of my own pics to that site. It's hilarious!



jujube said:


> I LOVE YOU, POOKIE!!!  Thanks for the laugh!



I love you too for appreciating it! You're quite welcome, honey!



fureverywhere said:


> 15. Please don't bring your spider monkeys, bearded dragons, and snakes into the store. These are definitely not service animals and we're not convinced, much less impressed.
> 
> I love it...a bearded service dragon
> View attachment 24283
> ...



A Code Adam for a dog. LOL! Wow....that's a whole other post!

Thanks, you all. I have some funny sayings about Walmart I share with my customers at times when things go wrong. It never fails to make them either smile or laugh, and they agree with me. That makes them feel a little better about whatever issue we're dealing with.

1. "25 years in the Army NEVER prepared me for Walmart."

2. "I never understood alcoholism until I started working here."

3. "My intention of working here was to keep from collecting too many cats and ending up on one of those...you know, TV shows."

I always try to make the customer feel better, unless they're a real jerk. Then it's all business and I'm thinking, "Get....out!!"


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