# Help! Assessing options for aging-in-place.



## vivi (Jan 16, 2021)

Are you currently considering or did you previously consider aging in place? Why or why not? 
Did you make changes to your home yourself or hire a contractor and why?

If you did stay in your home for a while but eventually moved out, could you please share why?


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## katlupe (Jan 16, 2021)

I never thought I would move from my home in the country. Over the last 10 years of living there, I started facing the fact that I could not live there as a disabled older person. I was in a miserable situation (and marriage) and started researching where I could move and how. I moved to a senior living apartment complex downtown in a small city. I guess that is all to say about it. Happy that I did it.


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## Pecos (Jan 16, 2021)

katlupe said:


> I never thought I would move from my home in the country. Over the last 10 years of living there, I started facing the fact that I could not live there as a disabled older person. I was in a miserable situation (and marriage) and started researching where I could move and how. I moved to a senior living apartment complex downtown in a small city. I guess that is all to say about it. Happy that I did it.


Your reasoning is an exact match for the way my lovely wife and I feel. We are not disabled and are doing pretty well, but we have seen how older people fare when they get older and frail and have to rely on ever increasing outside help, even if it is from family. My wife is pretty social, and I would not want her rattling around in this big house cooking for one and dealing with all the issues of home maintenance.

We are working toward serious downsizing and moving to a senior living facility where even the cooking and cleaning is done and the security is better. Declining eyesight is another concern for me and I have concluded that I should give up driving by the time I am 85, .... and I love my car.

Frankly, aging in place has not worked out for anyone I know when they hit that point where they are frail and near the end.


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## Aneeda72 (Jan 16, 2021)

I wanted to live in an apartment but husband bought a new very old house which needs a lot of work.  The location of the house is perfect.  Across the street from the post office, walking distance to drug store-Walgreens, one small local grocery, one slightly larger grocery, and a few fast food places.  

Fire station 2 blocks down and 2 blocks over which does not guarantee paramedics would not have to come from a further station, but it is close.  Sheriff one block closer than fire station.  Park couple miles away.

Major medical center 10 minutes by car or 45 during high traffic hours.  Small local stand alone ER, different insurance company, but closer.  

Anyway, my point is location, location, location.  When you get older with life threatening medical conditions, location really matters as does how easily you get the groceries etc.  if you are on a good location age in place, if not move.  Anyway, my opinion.


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## OneEyedDiva (Jan 16, 2021)

I'm hoping to be able to age in place because:
~I own my unit and currently our carrying charge (aka HOA fee) is about 25% of what the site below says is the average housing cost for 2 bedroom apartments in my city. Our mortgage is paid off.
~I'm located within walking distance to retailers, financial institutions, a supermarket, post office and public transportation which takes me or links me to just about anyplace I'd need to go (though since the pandemic I've been using Uber and Lyft).
~When I had my bathroom remodeled 22 years ago, I had grab bars installed in the shower and next to the toilet.
~My apartment is considered a small space (in the 700 sq ft range) so the upkeep is not that hard.
~I do have to go up five steps to get into my building then 3 steps down to my apartment which is actually the first floor. I'm hoping I never get so bad that I can't maneuver those few steps. And hopefully I'll never need to be in a wheelchair. But they have installed ramps on patios of other owners on the first floor who were wheelchair bound.
~All maintenance of common areas are the responsibility of management, so I don't have to worry about those things.
https://www.apartmenthomeliving.com/sitemap


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## Rosemarie (Jan 16, 2021)

I live in a block of flats which doesn't have a lift (elevator), so I'm resigned to moving home when I can no longer walk up the stairs.


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## Aunt Bea (Jan 16, 2021)

I live in a third-floor walk-up and will need to move at some point.

I've been working towards that day by shedding possessions in preparation for a move to a smaller apartment.

I've also been trying to learn about various services that will allow me to remain independent.  Things like car services, grocery delivery, laundry service, cleaning services, etc...

For me, the important thing is to do the preparation and the planning now while I'm still in relatively good shape.  I'm afraid that if I wait until I actually need to move I won't be in any shape to deal with the changes that such a move will require. 

Good luck!


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## Jules (Jan 16, 2021)

Aunt Bea said:


> For me, the important thing is to do the preparation and the planning now while I'm still in relatively good shape. I'm afraid that if I wait until I actually need to move I won't be in any shape to deal with the changes that such a move will require.


Wise thoughts.


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## Myquest55 (Jan 16, 2021)

We began talking about this while DH was still working.  We knew we wanted to move to another state so we made plans to move immediately as he retired.  Turned out he was able to take Disability for Parkinsons and we moved sooner than we expected.  Our wonderful Realtor found us a great house with main floor living and a second floor with guest bedroom and sewing space and a second bath.  We ended up doing some re-model and expansion but, like the previous post - location, location, location is the key.  We're in a small town just outside of a larger city with amazing medical care close by.  The town has so many things to do as well as a Medical Lending Library for equipment we may need -  like a walker for a up-coming hip replacement.

Our ultimate plan is to move to a CCRC.  We plan to stay with the house and yard as long as we can but have been shopping for the right place.  It has been fun to tour (when we could) all the places nearby.  Several, we walked out and immediately said, to each other, "that place is NOT for us."  Once Covid-19 is better under control we have a few others to visit again.  Waiting lists are long so we are on one now but want at least one more option.  We left the kids behind but they're all spread out now anyway - for work.  We need to be sure we have care when we need it so we don't have to call them to drop everything and fly up.  This is our dream time now!


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## Kathleen’s Place (Jan 16, 2021)

I have a 96 year old friend who is determined to stay in her small 3 bedroom. But to be honest, she wouldn’t be able to without the help of so many people. One friend takes care of the shoveling, one the mowing. Another friend does her shopping, two other friends bring her meals 2 days a week, I do her cleaning once a week, and if she needs ANYTHING, there are many people more than willing to help. Her kids live in another state, but of them is just the next state. over so it’s only a 2 hour drive at most. She comes maybe once every three months or so, for the weekend...which I find sad and a wee bit irritating.  But anyway, my feeling is if you have a lot of money and can afford help that you will most likely need to stay there (or like my friend who has no money but a lot of friends who love her) then you probably shouldn’t put off the inevitable.


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## Pecos (Jan 16, 2021)

OneEyedDiva said:


> I'm hoping to be able to age in place because:
> ~I own my unit and currently our carrying charge (aka HOA fee) is about 25% of what the site below says is the average housing cost for 2 bedroom apartments in my city. Our mortgage is paid off.
> ~I'm located within walking distance to retailers, financial institutions, a supermarket, post office and public transportation which takes me or links me to just about anyplace I'd need to go (though since the pandemic I've been using Uber and Lyft).
> ~When I had my bathroom remodeled 22 years ago, I had grab bars installed in the shower and next to the toilet.
> ...


I think that you have nearly all of the big issues covered and it should not be hard for you to hire someone for a few hours a week to help out. Having nearby family members is another big plus for you. You should be able to stay there for a long time.


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## bowmore (Jan 16, 2021)

We should be OK for the foreseeable future. We live in a 1400 sq ft home,all on one floor , with 4 steps to the ground. We have room for a wheelchair lift if it ever comes to that,


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## officerripley (Jan 16, 2021)

So it's an exercise in futility for me since Huzz refuses to move out of our big place, but--I guess to torture myself? IDK--I'm always looking at places around here that'd be better for us to live in and I'm looking online at a really nice mobile in one of the nicest (i.e., most expensive, sigh) parks around here and it's showing how nice the mobile home itself is and it's showing what a nice, beautiful park it's in, swimming pool, tennis courts, how nice, yada yada and then I notice it says, "No wheelchair ramps or wheelchair lifts are allowed in this park." And get this, you have to be 55 or over to live in this park but I guess you have to not age and stay 55 forever since you'll never be able to have to use a walker or wheelchair in this place! Good grief...no wonder it's hard to find a good place to age in sometimes.


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## Aneeda72 (Jan 16, 2021)

officerripley said:


> So it's an exercise in futility for me since Huzz refuses to move out of our big place, but--I guess to torture myself? IDK--I'm always looking at places around here that'd be better for us to live in and I'm looking online at a really nice mobile in one of the nicest (i.e., most expensive, sigh) parks around here and it's showing how nice the mobile home itself is and it's showing what a nice, beautiful park it's in, swimming pool, tennis courts, how nice, yada yada and then I notice it says, "No wheelchair ramps or wheelchair lifts are allowed in this park." And get this, you have to be 55 or over to live in this park but I guess you have to not age and stay 55 forever since you'll never be able to have to use a walker or wheelchair in this place! Good grief...no wonder it's hard to find a good place to age in sometimes.


That is against the ADA, and you can take a picture and send in a complaint.  You don’t have to live there to do that.  Anyone in there who needs a ramp or lift could sue and win.  The law is the law is the law.  It is a minimum 5000 fine last time I looked.


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## officerripley (Jan 16, 2021)

Aneeda72 said:


> That is against the ADA, and you can take a picture and send in a complaint.  You don’t have to live there to do that.  Anyone in there who needs a ramp or lift could sue and win.  The law is the law is the law.  It is a minimum 5000 fine last time I looked.


Thanks, Aneeda, good to know. I'd heard that this state is really lousy about enforcing the ADA but maybe that's just been people talking who are nervous about trying to use the law.


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## Ruth n Jersey (Jan 16, 2021)

I would like to age in place and I try to make things easier for myself as time goes by. I've replaced most rugs with flooring so  it is much easier to use a mop than drag a vacuum around. I keep cleaning supplies in the kitchen and bathroom so I'm not running back and forth. 
I have lowered shelves in my kitchen cabinets and keep what I use daily on the lower ones. 
I  also have a kneeler for inside the house with handles so when I get down I don't have to crawl to a chair to get up and I've been purging which helped a lot
My son just bought us these safety bars for the bath tub. He will install them when I decide exactly where I want them.
The only thing that would make me move is how many major repairs and upkeep our home will need in the future..


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## officerripley (Jan 16, 2021)

Ruth n Jersey said:


> I would like to age in place and I try to make things easier for myself as time goes by. I've replaced most rugs with flooring so  it is much easier to use a mop than drag a vacuum around. I keep cleaning supplies in the kitchen and bathroom so I'm not running back and forth.
> I have lowered shelves in my kitchen cabinets and keep what I use daily on the lower ones.
> I  also have a kneeler for inside the house with handles so when I get down I don't have to crawl to a chair to get up and I've been purging which helped a lot
> My son just bought us these safety bars for the bath tub. He will install them when I decide exactly where I want them.
> The only thing that would make me move is how many major repairs and upkeep our home will need in the future.. View attachment 144997


You mentioned major repairs & upkeep of a home being a factor in deciding to move or not. That's something I;m finding out to be true. I'd like--and really think we need--to move to a smaller place but Huzz is dead set against it. Welp, as a house gets older and older (and wasn't top-of-line even when it was new as is the case with ours), it becomes to where there's a repair needed more and more often. (Just coming off of a major plumbing repair with ours, went on for almost a month since the plumber took a while to find the leak, sigh.)


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## Aneeda72 (Jan 17, 2021)

Ruth n Jersey said:


> I would like to age in place and I try to make things easier for myself as time goes by. I've replaced most rugs with flooring so  it is much easier to use a mop than drag a vacuum around. I keep cleaning supplies in the kitchen and bathroom so I'm not running back and forth.
> I have lowered shelves in my kitchen cabinets and keep what I use daily on the lower ones.
> I  also have a kneeler for inside the house with handles so when I get down I don't have to crawl to a chair to get up and I've been purging which helped a lot
> My son just bought us these safety bars for the bath tub. He will install them when I decide exactly where I want them.
> The only thing that would make me move is how many major repairs and upkeep our home will need in the future.. View attachment 144997


I have to crawl to a chair to get up off the floor, so I don’t get on the floor.  Can you post a picture of the kneeler you use and explain how you use it to get up?


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## Aneeda72 (Jan 17, 2021)

officerripley said:


> You mentioned major repairs & upkeep of a home being a factor in deciding to move or not. That's something I;m finding out to be true. I'd like--and really think we need--to move to a smaller place but Huzz is dead set against it. Welp, as a house gets older and older (and wasn't top-of-line even when it was new as is the case with ours), it becomes to where there's a repair needed more and more often. (Just coming off of a major plumbing repair with ours, went on for almost a month since the plumber took a while to find the leak, sigh.)


Our money pit of a house is nothing but repairs.  We have a little extra money during winter because, unless it’s an emergency, no repairs since it’s so cold.


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## katlupe (Jan 17, 2021)

Aneeda72 said:


> I have to crawl to a chair to get up off the floor, so I don’t get on the floor.  Can you post a picture of the kneeler you use and explain how you use it to get up?


Exactly what I was going to ask!!! I need something like that in my apartment.


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## katlupe (Jan 17, 2021)

The house I had lived in had gotten so hard for me that I was sleeping on a single bed in the living room. All my clothing was in a trunk next to it that I used for a coffee table. I could not go up the stairs and then the bed was a big poster bed that I needed a stool to get into. No lights at all during the night due to our off the grid house being shut down at night. The bathroom was downstairs. Having a potty chair next to the bed was not something I was comfortable with. By the time my husband realized I seriously was moving out, he started working on changing things. But there was no money to do so. Bathroom was a nightmare. Me getting into a huge cast iron tub with high sides was torture. My husband kept saying to me that he could not live in a city or a town. After I left..........he changed his mind but, "I said no way!"

This apartment was my dream. Right in the center of downtown. All set up for wheelchairs, ramp and elevator. A laundry room........I had been washing my laundry by hand and hanging it on a line, even in winter. Now the only hard thing is deciding what I want to fix for meals!l LOL


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## Ronni (Jan 17, 2021)

We’re renovating our house currently,  upgrading and modernizing the look of the 60’s ranch house. Structurally it’s in really good shape.

As we renovate we’re making decisions to accommodate being able to age in place for as long as possible. The house is all one level so that’s a plus. There’s an addition which was added in the 70’s....the garage was turned into a den, and two additional rooms and a bathroom we added on next to that, which is now our master suite and large laundry room/mud room.

There’s a step up from the laundry room (we enter from the back door into that room) to the den, and another step up from den to kitchen. There’s more than enough room for a gently graded wheelchair ramp if one is needed.

The biggest problem would be the lawn/yard maintenance. We live on almost an acre on a corner lot, and Ron’s been slowly redoing the landscaping so that there’s a minimum of weed eating, no flower beds (all our flowers are in pots) and no other landscaping needs except some mulching around the trees.

If he should pass before me, I wouldn’t stay here for long.  I’d sell the place and buy something with a zero lot line so no yard to tend or other exterior maintenance.


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## Aneeda72 (Jan 17, 2021)

Ronni said:


> We’re renovating our house currently,  upgrading and modernizing the look of the 60’s ranch house. Structurally it’s in really good shape.
> 
> As we renovate we’re making decisions to accommodate being able to age in place for as long as possible. The house is all one level so that’s a plus. There’s an addition which was added in the 70’s....the garage was turned into a den, and two additional rooms and a bathroom we added on next to that, which is now our master suite and large laundry room/mud room.
> 
> ...


Is this the house he owned when you guys married or did you buy a new house?


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## officerripley (Jan 17, 2021)

Aging-in-place modifications to a house can be very helpful. However, one thing to keep in mind about adding wheelchair ramps? (Which might be needed even if you're not using a wheelchair--yet!--but are having trouble with steps.) My late father called a highly-recommended contractor who specialized in putting in wheelchair ramps & was told that he couldn't install a ramp since there wasn't enough length to put in a ramp gradual enough to be safe enough for the county inspector to issue a permit. Dad says "oh, well I'm not worried about getting a permit; please install it anyway." Contractor: Sorry, can't do that. If the county found out I did that, I could be fined, maybe even lose my license. Dad: aw, heck, I won't tell anybody if you don't; please put in the ramp? Contractor: Some contractors get away with it but way the ones that don't and get caught and fined (or worse) doing this is that somebody else in your neighborhood decides to have a ramp put in; they go to the county to get a permit; county inspector comes out & says, Nope can't issue a permit, not enough room to put in a long enough ramp. Ramp-wanter: well, how come that homeowner down the street has got a ramp, he's got even less room than I've got! Inspector: Hmmm, and what might the exact address of that place be? Inspector then goes to the other place, knocks on the door, tells the homeowner: 1) you didn't get a permit for this ramp for which you are now fined $XXX.XX; 2) And since we wouldn't have issued a permit in the 1st place for this ramp, you'll have to have it removed by such-and-such date and if it's not removed by then, you'll get a fine for each day 'till it is removed, and 3) last but not least, we want the name of the contractor who put this ramp in for you. So my dad had to buy a wheelchair lift instead which cost more than putting in the ramp.

So anyway, in most cases, making age-in-place modifications to a place usually costs more than a little money.


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## Ruth n Jersey (Jan 17, 2021)

Aneeda72 said:


> I have to crawl to a chair to get up off the floor, so I don’t get on the floor.  Can you post a picture of the kneeler you use and explain how you use it to get up?


@Aneeda72 ,The kneeler is really for outside. I bought another one for inside. My son bought a tube of foam insulation at Home Depot, really cheap. He cut 4 pieces and sliced it open to fit on the handle part. He use zip ties to fasten it but I'm sure Duck tape would work. This makes it easy on the hands and also will not scratch the floor. It comes assembled and closes up. You can flip it and sit on the other side. I got it on Amazon for about $30.00. The first one arrived bent but they replaced it with no problem. 
If you have trouble with your hands or shoulders you may not be able to lift yourself up. My problem is strictly my legs.


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## Ruth n Jersey (Jan 17, 2021)

@officerripley , Not only am I worried about house repairs but our trees around the house are so big and old they could come down on the house, also appliances are getting old. We just replaced a washer and stove and both of them are substandard.. I'll never get the years out of them that we did with the old ones. Time will tell I guess.


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## vivi (Jan 17, 2021)

Thanks for the responses and advice, everyone!
If you hired a contractor to do the home upgrades, how or where did you find trusted ones?


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## officerripley (Jan 17, 2021)

Ruth n Jersey said:


> @officerripley , Not only am I worried about house repairs but our trees around the house are so big and old they could come down on the house, also appliances are getting old. We just replaced a washer and stove and both of them are substandard.. I'll never get the years out of them that we did with the old ones. Time will tell I guess.


I hear ya, Ruth, espec. about the appliances; my BIL has a water heater that's at least 60 years old--maybe even older; it was in the house when my dear, departed MIL moved into the place back in the 60s--Huzz and I, since we moved into this house back in the late 80s, have had to replace our water heaters about every 5 (5!) years; except for this current water heater which is a little over 6 years old so that means it's got 1 foot in the doorway and the other on a banana peel.


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## Mr. Ed (Jan 17, 2021)

How do you not age in place? Perhaps take a road trip and age elsewhere.


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## katlupe (Jan 18, 2021)

Ronni said:


> We’re renovating our house currently,  upgrading and modernizing the look of the 60’s ranch house. Structurally it’s in really good shape.
> 
> As we renovate we’re making decisions to accommodate being able to age in place for as long as possible. The house is all one level so that’s a plus. There’s an addition which was added in the 70’s....the garage was turned into a den, and two additional rooms and a bathroom we added on next to that, which is now our master suite and large laundry room/mud room.
> 
> ...


I love ranch houses!  They are perfect for aging in place but when people are younger they don't think about that. Stairs are killers! Your home sounds lovely, especially the addition!


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## Manatee (Jan 18, 2021)

Bought our first condo in 1987, gave away the lawn mower and have not missed it yet.


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## Leann (Jan 19, 2021)

I have a ranch home with a walk-out basement. The washer and dryer are downstairs so the steps will eventually become an issue for me. My house is in a rural location. I purchased it 7 years ago with the intent of making it my 'forever home'. It needed so much work when I bought it, more than I ever imagined. Much of it has been done with one more project in 2021. 

I've started thinking about a time in the future when aging will make some things difficult, if not impossible. I already hire people to fertilize, aerate and mow the lawn, weed and mulch the flower beds and clear the snow in the winter. Upkeep has to be done but the costs are impinging on my finances. 

I'll likely move to a CCRC but finding one that is a good fit will take time. And between now and the time I finally move, there will be routine replacements that will need to be done (hot water heater, maybe some of the kitchen appliances, possibly a new roof) so I keep that in mind as well. 

No easy answer.


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## fmdog44 (Jan 23, 2021)

Those of use living upstairs and by ourselves will have to move sooner or later. Carrying things up the one flight of stairs is no fun with a sore knee and a sore hip.


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