# Seniors Get Happier As They Age



## SeaBreeze (Aug 26, 2013)

_Recent research indicates that mental well-being actually increases after middle age, even as physical quality of life declines.
_




All those popular media images of grouchy old people yelling at neighborhood kids to get off their lawns? Those stereotypes are about to go right out the window—at least, according to researchers at the University of Warwick in the United Kingdom. A recent study that evaluated over 10,000 older adults in the UK and the US indicates that getting older actually makes us…happier.
*Seniors Report Higher Mental Quality of Life*

Our perception of senior citizens as “grumpy old men” is a pervasive one, but it turns out not to be particularly accurate. A previous University of Warwick study showed that happiness levels follow a U-shaped curve, with the lowest point being in the mid-40s, after which people grew happier as they got older. The recent study, co-authored by Dr. Saverio Stranges and Dr. Kandala Ngianga-Bakwin, shows that this trend in senior living applies cross-culturally, and holds true for two countries with very different health care and welfare systems.

“This could be due to better coping abilities,” said Dr. Stranges in a press release. “Older people tend to have internal mechanisms to deal better with hardship or negative circumstances than those who are younger.” An alternative to the life-experience theory is the possibility that older people are just more comfortable being themselves.
“It could also be due to a lowering of expectations from life, with older people less likely to put pressure on themselves in the personal and professional spheres.”
*Weight Not a Negative Factor in Senior Well-Being*

Another interesting fact revealed in the study: the results hold true even for overweight seniors. Being overweight or obese did not have a significant effect on happiness levels, and people with a BMI over 30 reported similar mental quality of life as those at a healthier weight. This, too, has been supported by previous research.

This is good news for ourselves and our loved ones—instead of approaching the upcoming golden years as a time of potential hardship, we can remind ourselves that physical health is just one aspect of aging. Mental quality of life is arguably just as important, perhaps more so, and research is showing that we have cause for optimism in that regard, as we discover the strong correlation between older age and happiness.

Source: http://www.aplaceformom.com/blog/seniors-happier-with-age/


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## Katybug (Aug 26, 2013)

Oh, how I wish I could say I'm happier as I've aged.  Not the case at all, but I try to remain positive and very grateful to be here. I just wish my filter and patience span were in better working order.


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## nan (Aug 26, 2013)

I think I feel happier now,I definately feel happy when the family come to see us.


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## Jillaroo (Aug 26, 2013)

_ I must have missed the bus, i just wish i was happy but not the case.    hwell:_


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## Diwundrin (Aug 26, 2013)

C'mon Jilly, I've heard ya laugh, 'fess up now. 



You make us happy supplying us jokes here,  you make me happy just knowing you're nearby.  It isn't nearly enough to make up for what you're missing but if happiness was reflected you'd be glowin' girl. 



Katybug we had a ramble about this some time ago, you might enjoy the thread.
https://www.seniorforums.com/showthread.php/1833-Edging-Toward-Senior?p=27643#post27643


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## Jillaroo (Aug 26, 2013)

_*Ditto to you Di thanks, that's very nice of you to say that*_


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## SifuPhil (Aug 26, 2013)

So if this is indeed true, then why is every old person I meet so miserable?

I'm starting to see a correlation here, and it's pointing to me ... 

I don't know ... studies like this never really "take" with me. They just seem too general, too all-encompassing, and not reflective of life as I know it.

First off they would need to define "happy" in order to test for it, so my initial question to them would be, "What is "happy"?".

After their brains explode from that one we can move on to the next few questions ...


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## JustBonee (Aug 26, 2013)

> "What is "happy"?".


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## Jillaroo (Aug 26, 2013)

_It's loneliness more than anything, i have never cooked a meal for my daughter in my place in 5 years,i have been invited once to her place for dinner, my other daughter i haven't seen for 5years, i feel it's the isolation from family that makes you unhappy, and the living conditions. I have a son in law from hell who suffers from small man syndrome, i don't get along with him as he is a very arrogant selfish man, so it does make it hard to be able to see my daughter, my lifeline is the PC and forum_


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## Anne (Aug 26, 2013)

*deleted*


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## Katybug (Aug 26, 2013)

From Diwindrin:
Katybug we had a ramble about this some time ago, you might enjoy the thread.
https://www.seniorforums.com/showthread.php/1833-Edging-Toward-Senior?p=27643#post27643[/QUOTE]

*Diwundrin, thank you so much for sharing this thread.  How very thoughtful of you.  It is an insight into the aging process that we have all come to know, both positively and negatively. We really are all kindred spirits to some degree with what we have learned over the years and all that we share in no longer being able to live up to life as we have known it before and our own expectations.  I thoroughly enjoyed reading it and thank you again!  

And Jillaroo, I don't know you, but I can tell you're a very special lady.  Knew it after reading only a couple of your posts and you're someone I want to get to know better.  You really are a "glowin' girl," as Diwundrin said.  I feel so bad for you with your family situation.  I too have a SIL I don't care for, nor he me, but we have learned to mutually co-exist, tho it took 15 years.  I can so relate.  There are obviously people on this board who have a very high regard for you and that is a great positive.  I totally understand being lonely, same here.  It's extremely hard to deal with and thank God for our computers, our most valued contact w/the outside world.  Please know there are a lot of us out here who genuinely care and our computers give us the opportunity to express that in good times and bad, just as I am doing for you and I feel sure you will do for me in my down times.  ((HUGS))  Hang in there, there will be a better day.  I'm wishing that for you.
*


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## Diwundrin (Aug 26, 2013)

SifuPhil said:


> So if this is indeed true, then why is every old person I meet so miserable?
> 
> I'm starting to see a correlation here, and it's pointing to me ...
> 
> ...



It does all come down to the individual personalities really I guess.

I'm more contented (no need to be 'happy') now than I've ever been for the exact same reason that Jill is unhappy.  Isolation.  I love it.

I was miserable where I was, I don't do 'socializing' all that well, and found that I really didn't give a toss about the family dramas around me although I had to pretend to 'care' about some trivial domestic trauma. 

Most importantly I discovered that while we may suffer physically, it's usually only people and pets that make us cry. 

It's probably exclusion that hurts most.  It's nobody's fault, just that circumstances change and we don't fit in any more. It's a busier World.

So to get around that I just upped and moved a few hundred K.s  away from them so the suspicion that I had been left out of the plans, or was a nuisance, no longer applied.  It worked a treat!  The less of people I see the 'happier' I get.
I no longer feel that I need to meet other peoples' approval and that is amazingly liberating.  

We all still talk on the phone occasionally, a couple that I do get on with are reasonably close and I see them often but don't feel I need to be part of their lives now to validate my existence. They are more than kind to me and a great support, and my best friends as well as relatives,  but I don't take that bond as a right to expect their kindness, and that seems to be the nub of some people's hang ups. 

 We only should expect what is freely given, there's no contract written on how relatives feel about us.  You get lucky or you don't, accept it and adapt, the situation is unlikely to change so you have to.

Isolation is not for everyone, I'm a loner by nature, most of course aren't.  Think about what's making you unhappy and if it's fixable fix it.  If not then accept things as they are and not be too disappointed that wishes seldom come true. Happiness is fleeting, contentment lasts.


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## SeaBreeze (Aug 26, 2013)

I'm a little bit happier than when I was younger, because I'm retired now, and I don't have to get up at 5am anymore, drive to work in snowstorms, punch the timeclock, and put up with 'working for the man'....started at age 16, and I was ready to call it quits as soon as I could.  So, the stress factor is gone...and I'm not that much of a people person, so I'm happy to spend most of my days with hubby and the furkids.

  I only have one sister left, and she lives out of state, so we don't see each other very often, but we call each other a couple of times a year.  I have no kids, and she's always busy with her daughter and grandchildren, so that's great for her.  I've slowed down since I've gotten older, but I never was really active and buzzing around town, even in my younger days.

  I have to say I'm pretty happy.  Little things make me smile, like it just rained hard for ten minutes, and then there were beautiful rainbows to soak in.  Another thing that makes me happy and smile every day is reading everyone's messages and thoughts, the people on this forum are the best, you're warm and caring, and always manage to make me laugh and smile...makes everything so much nicer to have your own cool "in-crowd". :glitter-heart: :cool1:


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## Jillaroo (Aug 26, 2013)

Katybug said:


> From Diwindrin:
> Katybug we had a ramble about this some time ago, you might enjoy the thread.
> https://www.seniorforums.com/showthread.php/1833-Edging-Toward-Senior?p=27643#post27643





And Jillaroo, I don't know you, but I can tell you're a very special lady.  Knew it after reading only a couple of your posts and you're someone I want to get to know better.  You really are a "glowin' girl," as Diwundrin said.  I feel so bad for you with your family situation.  I too have a SIL I don't care for, nor he me, but we have learned to mutually co-exist, tho it took 15 years.  I can so relate.  There are obviously people on this board who have a very high regard for you and that is a great positive.  I totally understand being lonely, same here.  It's extremely hard to deal with and thank God for our computers, our most valued contact w/the outside world.  Please know there are a lot of us out here who genuinely care and our computers give us the opportunity to express that in good times and bad, just as I am doing for you and I feel sure you will do for me in my down times.  ((HUGS))  Hang in there, there will be a better day.  I'm wishing that for you.
[/B][/QUOTE]

* Thank you so much for your kind words Katybug, and i feel the same about you, when you appeared the othe day it was like a little ray of sunshine entered, i too enjoy your posts.
                   Don't mind me i am having a down day as i am not too well and just about to throw myself a Pity Party{ just me and my friends on the PC} haha i would be lost without my PC as i have turned into a hermit, i really haven't been happy since the love of my life Ian died in a car accident, a lot of people will say the same as me a huge part of my heart went with him and i am now different to what i used to be, bit like a caged tiger in a way, shopping makes me soooo happy, a lot of women will agree but not for long  bu@@er it lol. I will be foine Katy and again thanks for your kind words they help.*


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## Ozarkgal (Aug 26, 2013)

Diwundrin, your post is a mirror of my life.  We live a very isolated lifestyle and have no desire to be part of the rat race anymore.  Of course, having no kids, limited relatives and few acquaintances that we've kept up with makes this lifestyle easier to achieve than someone with strong family ties, such as kids and grandkids.

I'm happy to be able to live this lifestyle by choice, but do empathize with people such as Jillaroo who did not  freely choose solitude, isolation and  disregard by family.  Keep your chin up Jilly and know that you put smiles on some peoples faces everyday with your upbeat posts and humor.  Without you, there might be some who wouldn't have had that laugh for the day.

Phil about studies, right on..."Studies", just like statistics are mostly manipulated to reflect the agenda of the person or group conducting the survey.   Happiness is very subjective, as well as fleeting.  You can be happy one minute and sad the next.  Happiness may not as intense a feeling to one person as it is to another. By _whose_ standard is someone happy? 

Happiness can come in many forms and is different for everyone. But some problems, common among seniors which cause real unhappiness are declining health, pain, financial issues, feeling isolated, forgetfulness and limited mobility. Sometimes, it's hard to be happy in the face of these hardships, and look at the rosy side of life.

 For myself, I am happy about some aspects of my life, but definitely unhappy about certain physical limitations which makes me grumpy and hard to live with at times. I try to keep things in balance and work around or flatout ignore the physical issues as much as possible. 

 If I find myself giving in to them, it's usually followed by grumpiness and lack of motivation. Sometimes you have to reach deep down and pull the happiness to the surface. At this age, for me personal motivation is more important than ever!

Practical things such as having a helpful caring husband, a decent roof over my head that is cool in the summer and warm in the winter, a good truck to get me where I need to go, the ability to still drive it, and to be able to buy whatever we want to eat, and of course the Gangsta's, is what makes me happy these days.  Oh, and once in a while if I have a semi pain free day, it's just icing on the cake.


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## SeaBreeze (Aug 26, 2013)

Ozarkgal said:


> Practical things such as having a helpful caring husband, a decent roof over my head that is cool in the summer and warm in the winter, a good truck to get me where I need to go, the ability to still drive it, and to be able to buy whatever we want to eat, and of course the Gangsta's, is what makes me happy these days.



:iagree:...pretty much the same here, no kids, caring hubby, spend a lot of time just together and with the pets.  Happy with the simple things in life.


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## SifuPhil (Aug 27, 2013)

Things that make me happy ...


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## That Guy (Aug 27, 2013)

Surprisingly, I find myself happier in spite of all the . . . "challenges".  I think maybe my slow maturing and improved outlook on life have helped relinquish the tight hold I had on things I can do nothing about.  Basically, I believe it was a choice to be happy or miserable.

"Rise up this mornin'
Smiled with the risin' sun
Three little birds
Pitch by my doorstep
Singin' sweet songs
Of melodies pure and true
Sayin', "This is my message to you-ou-ou:" -- Bob Marley


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## TICA (Aug 27, 2013)

I'm happier than I have ever been in my whole life.  I decide what I want to do and when, nobody to answer to but me.  Most of the people I meet who are older than me are truly happy and lovely people to be around.  They have their aches and pains but still have compassion for those less fortunate and grateful they are still here.   I'm taking every day as precious and plan to have many, many more.

I'm sorry that some of us are alone when we don't to be and have become estranged from family.  I have children that I do get along with but no partner and I'm OK with that - better than OK actually.  I've learned that I'd rather be single than with someone in a 24/7 strained existence.    I'm a happy camper these days and look forward to coming here to chat with friends.  The internet is an amazing tool for those who can't get around and out much.


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## GDAD (Aug 27, 2013)

GREAT FUN, REPAIRING & PAINTING THE GARAGE WITH THE WIFE!


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