# Time for decisions...and indecisions.....Subtitle: Period 10 Tattoo: to keep or not to keep?



## earthmama (Aug 21, 2018)

Today I went to the dermatologist for a rash on my back that's persisted for maybe a year, off and on, on and off...
that's longer than many personal relationships I've been in since my divorce almost 20 years ago.
Where_* does*_ time fly, when you think you're having fun?

Sometimes I wonder--why did I even marry "him"?
And then I see my 3 kids in all their glorious live-and-learn dysfunctionality, and my 5 grandchildren, who are learning to cope with their own lives (and their own parents--and, I suppose, with me, their crazy grandparent)...and I know why.
The end justifies the means?

And mean, he was, though that is another topic for another day.
Back to this day, and the rash-that-wouldn't-leave...

The doc says it's probably eczema.  What did I do differently, he asks...as if bringing it on was my fault.
Was it?
Well, except for the stress shoveled into my life via my career---teaching---plus a few barely-survivable relationships last year with certifiable narcissists----no, doc, nothing new.

Doc says stress doesn't cause or exacerbate eczema.

But while I was there, since he mentioned it whilst looking at my previous records, I had him take a look at a persistent "lesion" on my hand.
Lesion in quotation marks because although it might be questionable, it probably was a buried lead pencil point, accidentally self-inflicted at least a few years ago during a real or perceived adolescent crisis in period 10 (can I get workman's comp for that?) , or maybe it was just a splinter of some other sort.

Does it matter from whence and where it came?

The point was:
I could take it out---or leave it in.
Doc says if it were his, he'd leave it.  In fact, he has one in his back, from way back in 3rd grade.  He seemed proud of it; he seemed bemused by it.

I was not proud or bemused with mine.  It was a source of semi-constant worry.


So here was the point of decision--and indecision.

Can I come back and get it done, doc?  I'm not wanting to ruin the remaining week or two of my summer.  Monsoon-ish though it was, with more typhoons forecast.

Sure, doc says;  I schedule my cuts until 3 p.m.

That doesn't work for me.  I get out of the gulag at 4.

So let's cut it out today, doc. And can I still work out at the gym?  

Doc frowns.  No, no not for a month...no lifting for a month.  Just cardio.

Can I row, doc?  I use a rowing machine.

Doc frowns again, this time wrinkling his brow: Nothing push-pull.  No stress or force or you might blow out your stitch.  (Yes; stitch, as in one, on the side of my hand).

Here's where I should have said no, in retrospect. 

 Because working out at the gym is so much more than schlepping on a treadmill and grunting 30 pounds on a pec press.  Working out at the gym makes me feel strong: stronger than those who tried to push me down, both literally and figuratively. Pumping on an elliptical is vastly superior to swallowing pills that promise calm. And lifting weights is far better than lifting liters of wine and nightcaps of anything stronger.   

But a part of me said: you're here now, go for it; get it over with; because what IF....what IF.....it's one of those weird skin things like the one that killed your brother-in-law...
or it IS a splinter, but right in the middle of next year's polar arctic spell, when it's blizzarding, it turns into something evil and malignant....or you're sitting there, stranded in your house, and you THINK it's turning into something evil...The Pencil Point that will do you in.


And a part of me said: don't.  It's nothing.  It's a Number 9 pinpoint in the balloon of skin you call home; it won't deflate you; it's only a tattoo from period 10, so many eons ago...

Maybe it was the doc's double-frown-brow-wrinkle.
Maybe it was the thought of sitting here next winter, alone, nobody to tell me it'll be alright...it's just a tiny pencil point, minding its own business...

Maybe it was my contrary nature, the same nature that made me NOT finish college when I was 18 (because Dad wanted me to) so now I have to work to about twenty years past retirement...

The same contrary nature that caused 19-year-old me to marry the man that my father warned me was no good for me (don't all dads say that? But dad was right, on both counts...)..

Ok, doc.  Take it away.

And now, I sit on my couch, and wonder why I said yes.

And I think about:  Should I wait the obligatory month to work out?  Or  should I tempt fate and go back in a day...or two?

I ask others: what would you do?
Knowing, in the end....my decisions....and indecisions....will win out...again....


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## hollydolly (Aug 21, 2018)

Jeez...that was some read...  but you sure know how to write.......In answer to your question... if it was me there's no way I'd wait a month to exercise after having one itty little bitty stitch in my hand!!


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## SeaBreeze (Aug 21, 2018)

If it was a splinter I had for a long time, especially if there was a chance it was lead from a pencil, I'd want it out.  As far as working out, take the middle road, it doesn't have to be a month unless you see there's a problem with the healing......but a day or two.....way too soon in my opinion.  Take care of your body, you may be inconvenienced for awhile but sometimes the flesh needs some TLC to heal.


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## Camper6 (Aug 21, 2018)

SeaBreeze said:


> If it was a splinter I had for a long time, especially if there was a chance it was lead from a pencil, I'd want it out.  As far as working out, take the middle road, it doesn't have to be a month unless you see there's a problem with the healing......but a day or two.....way too soon in my opinion.  Take care of your body, you may be inconvenienced for awhile but sometimes the flesh needs some TLC to heal.



Lead from a pencil is graphite not lead. More like a tattoo . I would leave it alone. I have one on my hand.


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## RadishRose (Aug 21, 2018)

earthmama, Welcome! 

You pay the doc for care and instructions. I would do as I was told in this case, it doesn't sound outlandish. Your body shouldn't fall part after a mere 30 days. 

I wish you well.


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## Gary O' (Aug 21, 2018)

t'was a good read

One stitch?
I'd work out...or work, minutes after the stitch
'Course I wouldn't have had the stitch in the first place

still

mighty good read, and welcome to the forum, earthmama

more, please


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## Cara (Aug 21, 2018)

Thank you. More will be forthcoming, I'm sure.


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## Camper6 (Aug 22, 2018)

Gary O' said:


> t'was a good read
> 
> One stitch?
> I'd work out...or work, minutes after the stitch
> ...



The idea is to insure a well formed scar where the stitches join.

You can't do that if you keep opening the stitch or even stretching it.


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## Gary O' (Aug 22, 2018)

Camper6 said:


> The idea is to insure a well formed scar where the stitches join.
> 
> You can't do that if you keep opening the stitch or even stretching it.


it's a stitch
not 8
not 5
not even two
never heard of getting one stitch

A decade or so ago, I was up on a ladder, repairing a roof edge
My lady was holding the ladder, keeping it steady
I tend to overextend from side to side, so there she was, right under me, putting weight on the first rung
She noticed an odd bump on my calf
Started fiddling with it
I didn’t pay attention as she’s given to poke me in places while I’m in a precarious position, like my hind end

Anyway, whatever it was in the bump started rolling around
Once off the ladder, I congratulated her on her attempt at distracting me… ‘good one, baby’

She said, ‘no, really, there’s something rolling around in the back of yer leg’ 

Handed her my utility knife
She dug out a BB

Heh, it was probably from the neighborhood BB gun wars us kids had back in the early sixties

It healed in three or four days

‘One stitch’…..pfft


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