# You Can Call Me Sweetie, Darling. Love, Hunny Bun, Chuck, Scouser or Handsome If You Want!!!



## boozercruiser (Sep 14, 2015)

*As we all know, political correctness is slowly but surely taking over.
But the below article in the UK Daily Mail takes it to a new level, 
and has made my blood pressure go up!!!
SO.
What do YOU think about this then?*

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...re-home-staff-told-patronising-demeaning.html
*

Don't call residents sweetie or darling, care home staff are told - because they are 'patronising and demeaning'*



*Workers have been reprimanded for calling residents affectionate names*
*Staff hit back at the ticking off, saying the residents like the informal terms*
*But officials from Care Quality Commission have insisted terms aren't used*


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## Capt Lightning (Sep 14, 2015)

Typical PC lunacy.   Some years ago when I was in Minnesota, a colleague from Yorkshire was reported for ****** harrassment by   an american female for greeting her with 'Morning Love'.    She was made as welcome as a bad smell after that.


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## QuickSilver (Sep 14, 2015)

Sorry...  but I ABSOLUTELY agree with the article.   Seniors are adults... not children..  They should be addressed with the respect they deserve and have earned, even if they appear to be childlike and suffering from dementia.   Unless a Senior gives his/her permission to use their first name or another endearing term, it should not be used.  Until that time they should be addressed as Mr. or Mrs.. X.   This comes after many years of nursing experience..  I would never demean a Senior, nor would I want to be addressed as sweetie, honey, or baby cakes..  It's VERY impolite.


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## Cookie (Sep 14, 2015)

I agree with the article that it is demeaning, disrespectful and inappropriate.  We do not address our work colleagues that way nor would we like to be addressed this way.


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## Laurie (Sep 14, 2015)

The only person I wish to call me love, or darling or sweetheart passed on some time ago and I have, as yet, given no-one else that right.


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## Shalimar (Sep 14, 2015)

I agree with those posters who stated how inappropriate these terms are.


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## AZ Jim (Sep 14, 2015)

Not an appropriate way to address seniors who have a right to retain their dignity.


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## boozercruiser (Sep 14, 2015)

Shalimar said:


> I agree with those posters who stated how inappropriate these terms are.



That is fair enough Shalimar, and I appreciate and understand opposing views of course.
However, coming from Liverpool where we are regarded as Scousers, most of us would say to someone of any age.
Hello Love, hello Sweetie, and I have even had a Hello Handsome would you believe.layful:

Having recently been in Hospital for around three weeks due to a Heart Operation, the nurses in general would refer to me roughly along the above terms. 
Some would just say "Hello Kenny".

Hello Mr. Thain doesn't really do it for me.


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## QuickSilver (Sep 14, 2015)

boozercruiser said:


> That is fair enough Shalimar, and I appreciate and understand opposing views of course.
> However, coming from Liverpool where we are regarded as Scousers, most of us would say to someone of any age.
> Hello Love, hello Sweetie, and I have even had a Hello Handsome would you believe.layful:
> 
> ...



I'm sure that you gave your permission for them to use other forms of address..?   Like saying... "Please call me such and such"   If you did not, it was unprofessional IMO

That said.. I do know that "hello love" is a very common form of address in England and that nothing is thought of it.


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## Cookie (Sep 14, 2015)

Well, would another man say 'hello love' or 'hello sweetheart' to another male?  It's usually said to one who is 'beneath' them in some way, usually a member of the opposite sex of women to women. I find it ingratiating and although I get it from older people, I don't feel the need to say it to anyone.


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## QuickSilver (Sep 14, 2015)

I have been called "dear"  and "sweetie" by much younger people...  I don't always correct them, but it does bother me..   Sometimes  I will say, "my name is Mrs.XYZ... If I am in a particularly ornery mood I will say.  "I'm not your Dear... and trust me... I'm far from sweet"..


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## fureverywhere (Sep 14, 2015)

Such idiocy...it totally depends on who you're addressing and the situation. I'm fond of " Darlin'" and " Son" as in " Son, I understand exactly what you're trying to say there". I'm happy to hear sweetie etc etc, I think many people are. We have a greatly mixed population at work. For women who have been there a long time they add Miss to your first name as a sign of respect. Then the Latinos are fond of " Mami", my all time favorite from the young and flirty " Smile Mami, it makes you beautiful"...thank you I'll grin the rest of the day.


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## QuickSilver (Sep 14, 2015)

Again... you are talking about people you are familiar with.  They are co-workers.. You are with them all day.   If you didn't correct them the very first time, then that is implied consent to be addressed that way.

Still.. I see nothing "cute" about a grown person being referred to as "sweetie" by a much younger person..  It's demeaning... and I simply do not like to be addressed like one would a child.


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## fureverywhere (Sep 14, 2015)

We have customers all flirty and chatty too and it's sweet. Ask for my phone number and you've crossed the line though. You know what annoys me are jobs where they expect you to address managers by Mr or Mrs. Whathaveyou and they call those under them by first name. Maybe it's a generation thing but I'm not addressing someone twenty years younger as MIster...it's demeaning and meaningless.


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## boozercruiser (Sep 14, 2015)

I am rather surprised that the majority of people do not appear to agree with me on this.
But for me, just so long as the person is not being patronising, or saying it in a demeaning way then I stand by my thread title.
I find that Most people say that in a friendly manner though.
And  I can tell which is which!
Oh! yes I can! layful:

It is a little like me sticking my tongue out there in a cheeky, friendly way.
But someone, somewhere will take offence at it.
Sorry about that!


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## QuickSilver (Sep 14, 2015)

fureverywhere said:


> We have customers all flirty and chatty too and it's sweet. Ask for my phone number and you've crossed the line though. You know what annoys me are jobs where they expect you to address managers by Mr or Mrs. Whathaveyou and they call those under them by first name. Maybe it's a generation thing but I'm not addressing someone twenty years younger as MIster...it's demeaning and meaningless.



I agree with this..  I have never been in a work situation where people didn't address each other by their first names... EXCEPT for the docs.. they are always addressed as doctor so and so...  even when they are what we older nurses love to call.. "pups".   hahahahahaha


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## Shalimar (Sep 14, 2015)

In Canada, many of the nurses address each other by their last names. I don't know why.


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## fureverywhere (Sep 14, 2015)

Awww pups is cute, all wet behind the ears...


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## Sunny (Sep 14, 2015)

Last year when I visited Cornwall, I thought it was charming that every salesperson, server, etc. that I encountered greeted me with "Hello, luv." They just said it automatically, to everyone.


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## Laurie (Sep 14, 2015)

_"However, coming from Liverpool where we are regarded as Scousers,"_

_Most scousers have always called me "'la", though there was one young lass who called me sweetheart, but that's outside the scope of this thread!

In Cornwall, of course, "my loverr" is standard between al age groups regardless of sex, just as in Devon "me 'andsome" is the normal mode of address.

One cannot really take offence in Derbyshire at being called "me duck"!_


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## boozercruiser (Sep 14, 2015)

Laurie said:


> _"However, coming from Liverpool where we are regarded as Scousers,"_
> 
> _Most scousers have always called me "'la", though there was one young lass who called me sweetheart, but that's outside the scope of this thread!
> 
> ...



Exactly Laurie.
You have said that very well.

And I repeat...

*Just so long as the person is not being patronising, or saying it in a demeaning way then I stand by my thread title.
I find that Most people say that in a friendly manner though.
And I can tell which is which!
Oh! yes I can! layful:

It is a little like me sticking my tongue out there in a cheeky, friendly way.
But someone, somewhere will take offence at it.
Sorry about that! *


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## boozercruiser (Sep 14, 2015)

Sunny said:


> Last year when I visited Cornwall, I thought it was charming that every salesperson, server, etc. that I encountered greeted me with "Hello, luv." They just said it automatically, to everyone.



Hello Luv.
I can see that you obviously have a Sunny disposition, and are a real Sweetie.

Take care Luv.

Kenny (Scouser)


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## Cookie (Sep 14, 2015)

It all depends on where you are and who you are.  In this country (Canada) in the corporate workplace of a large city, no one calls the CEO or manager luv or sweetie or honey, nor do they address them as Mr or Mrs. anymore - mostly first name basis these days. The culture is casual but respectful.  No one would dream of addressing their boss or manager with a "hiya sweetie, how's handsome doing today?"  If the CEO comes up to a female employer and says, "hiya honey bun, how's my little sweetie", it sounds kind of like ****** harassment and patronizing at the least.  You wouldn't go in to your bank manager for a loan and address them with hello baby cakes, would you? 

Our grocery cashiers also do not generally address the customers by pet names such as dearie, darling, honey, etc. I think it would be inappropriate for a 20 year old grocery cashier addressing customers this way.  However, I don't mind at all if my geriatric neighbor calls me dear.  

But it sounds like over where the OP is located, my guess its a small village where people know each other, the barmaid at the local pub might well call customers ducky, or luv or whatever. Shopping at the local grocery store might be the same.  That is customary and acceptable there.


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## boozercruiser (Sep 14, 2015)

Cookie said:


> It all depends on where you are and who you are.  In this country (Canada) in the corporate workplace of a large city, no one calls the CEO or manager luv or sweetie or honey, nor do they address them as Mr or Mrs. anymore - mostly first name basis these days. The culture is casual but respectful.  No one would dream of addressing their boss or manager with a "hiya sweetie, how's handsome doing today?"  If the CEO comes up to a female employer and says, "hiya honey bun, how's my little sweetie", it sounds kind of like ****** harassment and patronizing at the least.  You wouldn't go in to your bank manager for a loan and address them with hello baby cakes, would you?
> 
> Our grocery cashiers also do not generally address the customers by pet names such as dearie, darling, honey, etc. I think it would be inappropriate for a 20 year old grocery cashier addressing customers this way.  However, I don't mind at all if my geriatric neighbor calls me dear.
> 
> *But it sounds like over where the OP is located, my guess its a small village where people know each other, the barmaid at the local pub might well call customers ducky, or luv or whatever. Shopping at the local grocery store might be the same.  That is customary and acceptable there*.



Hello Cookie. (Sounds nice)
Actually I live in Rhos On Sea, and very near Llandudno, which are very lovely and very busy seaside resorts in North Wales. We have a lovely promenade right opposite us, plus a lovely beach.

And if you visit the UK anytime, you would be welcome to come and stay with us.
Have no fear, I would only refer to you by your proper name.
Like perhaps, Hello Cookie!
We have a lovely 2 bedroom ground floor apartment, just across from the promenade, with sea views out of the patio door, and garden.

Obviously in some of the situations one would NOT call people by my examples.
But out and about, particularly with anyone I know, then I like it if people say any of the above endearments.


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## fureverywhere (Sep 14, 2015)

I greet most customers with " Heyhowyadoin'?", it's a regional thing...Northern Soprano


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## QuickSilver (Sep 14, 2015)

fureverywhere said:


> I greet most customers with " Heyhowyadoin'?", it's a regional thing...Northern Soprano



And they answer fagidabowdit


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## Cookie (Sep 14, 2015)

Thanks, Boozer, your locale sounds very nice. I might just take you up on that visit.  

Over here, we greet each other simply with "Hi, Howzitgoin'?  =  Tronna Canuckian


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## mitchezz (Sep 14, 2015)

Australians have solved this vexing problem. We have decided that is appropriate to address anyone in any situation with a simple G'day mate.


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## Waterlilly (Sep 14, 2015)

Here in North Florida it is very southern, people call each other honey, sweety, hon (even the patients who don't seem to mind).  I on the other hand am from south Florida which is more northern. Are you with me?  I don't like to be called hon, sweety, baby etc.  I only call my children and hubby terms of endearment.   I don't call my patients these things either, but that is because I would be uncomfortable doing it. I guess it is as regional and cultural as an accent.


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## Kitties (Sep 14, 2015)

I'm not even going to say what I want. I'm mostly in agreement with the original poster though.

These inspectors...


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## Shalimar (Sep 14, 2015)

Vancouver Island Canuckese greeting: "Hi, howrrya?"


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## boozercruiser (Sep 14, 2015)

Cookie said:


> Thanks, Boozer, your locale sounds very nice. I might just take you up on that visit.
> 
> Over here, we greet each other simply with "Hi, Howzitgoin'?  =  Tronna Canuckian



You are welcome Cookie.

http://www.visitllandudno.org.uk/towns-and-villages/rhos-on-sea


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## Linda (Sep 14, 2015)

I find it condescending and disrespectful, I don't like it at all.  If you can't pronounce a senior's last name, ask if you can call them by their first name, which many prefer anyway. 

In regular life, I get very irritated if some man calls me anything but Linda. (Except for the dude I've been sleeping with for the last 51 years.  I don't like to be called Mrs. so and so except by people who don't know me at all.  I don't say anything, but I also feel irritated when someone calls me "Miss Linda".  The medical assistant at our primary care Dr does that, but I let it go since I like her and I don't want to offend her.


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## tnthomas (Sep 14, 2015)

In recent times I've noticed a tendency of some younger female retail employees to call old gents like myself "hon".   I don't mind, don't feel disrespected, but yea- I realize it's a bit patronizing....but I don't care.


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## Linda (Sep 14, 2015)

tnthomas said:


> In recent times I've noticed a tendency of some younger female retail employees to call old gents like myself "hon".   I don't mind, don't feel disrespected, but yea- I realize it's a bit patronizing....but I don't care.



tnt, you sound like my husband.  He doesn't care if the clerks, hair dressers or waitresses call him hon or sweetie or the like.  He never calls them endearments back though, he refers to them as miss usually unless he knows the hair dressers name, which sometimes we do.


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## boozercruiser (Sep 15, 2015)

tnthomas said:


> In recent times I've noticed a tendency of some younger female retail employees to call old gents like myself "hon".   I don't mind, don't feel disrespected, but yea- I realize it's a bit patronizing....but I don't care.



And good on you tnthomas.
Good on you!


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## Hanfonius (Sep 15, 2015)

I spent a very worrying six hours in Emergency with lots of people looking at my heart condition.   It is was rather a frightening time for me.   I was released about five o'clock.

The next morning,  a Patient Liaison Officer called me at home,  and having established my identity,  asked,  _'How are you feeling, Love?'
_I found that so comforting,  so caring.   

I frequently use the words 'Love',  'Chuck' and 'Pet' when I am talking to the fairer sex,  and have yet to be told off for being disrespectful.


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## boozercruiser (Sep 15, 2015)

Hanfonius said:


> I spent a very worrying six hours in Emergency with lots of people looking at my heart condition.   It is was rather a frightening time for me.   I was released about five o'clock.
> 
> The next morning,  a Patient Liaison Officer called me at home,  and having established my identity,  asked,  _'How are you feeling, Love?'
> _I found that so comforting,  so caring.
> ...



And that is exactly my feelings Hanf.
Exactly.

I do hope that your heart problem has settled down and that you are alright now.

O.K. Sweetie! 

Kenny.


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## SifuPhil (Sep 15, 2015)

When I was traveling through the American South I was constantly called "Honey" or "Sugar" by waitresses, clerks and even women whom I randomly passed on the sidewalks. 

Didn't bother me a bit. 

Of course, I was in my mid-twenties at the time.

Now? I don't care what they call me, but then I'm a monk, so I rarely encounter women at all these days. :chargrined:


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## oldman (Sep 15, 2015)

I have been a high school basketball referee and a college baseball umpire for almost 40 years, so I have learned to have thick skin. Calling me an endearing name is not insulting or disrespectful to me and in fact, I sort of like it. Dr. Joyce Brothers once said that people who call others by using endearing terms is sometimes classified as innocent flirtations. Calling me anything else is just immature behavior. When I read people's posts on this forum calling a politician, cop or others an idiot or stupid, I often wonder why it's necessary to refer to people in that light. I don't like hearing people calling others rude names, but I could care less what people call me. Many years ago, my mother taught me to live by the ode, "Sticks and stones (you know the rest).

Just because someone calls me a jerk does not mean that I am one. On the other hand, if someone calls me Sweetie and as long as it's a female, I am OK with it. Name calling has always been one of the things in life that I detest. It's not necessary and it tells me a lot about the type of person I am dealing with. I once had a passenger refer to one of the flight attendants as "that stupid idiot of a stewardess blah, blah, blah." First, never call a flight attendant a stewardess. They DON'T like it. They tell me it makes them feel like a subservient and not part of the flight crew. In this case, the passenger was really upset because the flight attendant would not allow him up to use the lavatory during severe turbulence. I had the seat belt sign off for over an hour and had just turned it on when the passenger decided that he now had to use the facilities. (I even warned the passengers that we were expecting turbulence in about 10 minutes and the seat belt sign would be turned on.)   

It's like what Pee Wee Herman said in the movie, "Pee Wee's Big Adventure" when he was being called names by the obese kid that stole his bike, "I know you are, but what am I?"


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## venus (Sep 15, 2015)

Depends on how well you know that particular person and the kind of relationship between you.


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## AprilSun (Sep 15, 2015)

I don't like females calling me, Sugar, Hon, etc., but I don't say anything. I also don't like people calling me Miss AprilSun. For some reason, it makes me feel so old or maybe I should say, it reminds me of how old I really am. For whatever reason, I still don't like it.


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## Jackie22 (Sep 15, 2015)

As the article states, it is patronising and demeaning, talking down to people.


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## Shirley (Sep 15, 2015)

When DH was in the hospital, the nurses called him darling. I don't think he minded the least bit.


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## boozercruiser (Sep 15, 2015)

venus said:


> Depends on how well you know that particular person and the kind of relationship between you.



This is quite right Venus.
As you and I have a lovely kind of relationship between us, and particularly as we met on a Forum Meeting,
I know that I can call you...

*Sweetie Pie, Darling, Love, Hunny Bunny, Chuck, and say that you are pretty If I Want to! 

So please remember that...
*

*So there!   *:love_heart:


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## Laurie (Sep 15, 2015)

When I was still in the military a subordinate once called me "mate" when he answered the phone.

God, that was a good morning.

Cleared my liver for a couple of days!

My own staff, who were familiar with my idiosyncrasies, couldn't work for about twenty minutes, they were laughing so much!


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## 911 (Sep 16, 2015)

I have been called a lot of names over the years. Some are nice and some are not so nice.


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## boozercruiser (Sep 16, 2015)

911 said:


> I have been called a lot of names over the years. Some are nice and some are not so nice.



So have I 911.
And a lot of of them start with 'F'! and then 'O' and then you Scouse 'B'!

But then, most of them have been Luv or Darling or sweetie or hunny bun or.....


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## boozercruiser (Oct 6, 2015)

*Just quickly popping in to say...






I hope that nobody objects ?*


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## JaniceM (Sep 16, 2017)

Shalimar said:


> I agree with those posters who stated how inappropriate these terms are.



O.k., I'll link (reply) from yours-  100% in agreement with you.  
And the 'trend' that's been spreading for quite a few years of store clerks, etc., addressing customers (any age/gender) that way is also inappropriate.  

On the seniors/elderly, though, I've noticed location has a lot to do with it-  when I took CNA classes in the south, for example, I thought it was horrible that they considered it acceptable to ask elderly folks 'Do you want to go wee-wee in the bottle?'  Treating elderly people like infants is awful.  It has nothing to do with 'PC,' it's just a matter of manners and respect.


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