# This is not what was in the brochure...



## Jeni (Jan 7, 2021)

hello all,
My title is a result of recent conversations with people, some who think life works just like what they see on a  glossy brochure.

Often it is not after you get into a situation that you see the glossy picture you bought into is just not so.
Insurance comes to mind as you often find out what is really covered AFTER you use it.   

It has been difficult to not have people to discuss items with as many neighbors seem terrified of chatting and working from home takes all the social aspect out of work too. 
I have enjoyed the past few days since i joined this forum at least as an outlet to chat and get the real information from people living in various areas.


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## Aunt Marg (Jan 7, 2021)

So happy you decided to join us, Jeni. 

The way I see it is, there's a whole lot of members here who all have experience and advice about everything under the sun, so no matter what it is that someone needs to know, there's a good chance that someone on this forum will have the answer or answers you're looking for.


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## Lewkat (Jan 7, 2021)

Most brochures are nothing more than window dressing.  Remember caveat emptor.


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## Jeni (Jan 7, 2021)

Lewkat said:


> Most brochures are nothing more than window dressing.  Remember caveat emptor.


I know,
 I got into a deep discussion with my son in law as he has very little real world experience and seems to believe all spin ...... so sad critical thinking seems to be lost .   
He evidently has led a charmed life where there is no downfalls ....... probably looks like who-ville in Dr Suess.


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## Aneeda72 (Jan 7, 2021)

Jeni said:


> I know,
> I got into a deep discussion with my son in law as he has very little real world experience and seems to believe all spin ...... so sad critical thinking seems to be lost .
> He evidently has led a charmed life where there is no downfalls ....... probably looks like who-ville in Dr Suess.


Yup, my rose colored glasses broke when I was a year old.  After that, it was all down hill.


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## Jeni (Jan 7, 2021)

Aneeda72 said:


> Yup, my rose colored glasses broke when I was a year old.  After that, it was all down hill.


me too....

I have spent my life seeing things for a different point of view and often wonder what it is like only see the good in people or not noticing when things just don't add up in a conversation etc.

sometimes people need a first hand experience to see through BS in this world ....


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## IrisSenior (Jan 7, 2021)

Awwww come on...life does have its ups and downs and that is what it is all about.  As for glossy brochures - I take it as a look before you leap.

We ALL need encouragement at times and there are many here who offer it here. I believe there is good in everyone as we all make mistakes and hopefully we will be forgiven.


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## Jeni (Jan 7, 2021)

I think I may have not been clear .....
One of the funniest things i ever saw was a travel advisors notes on complaints from people about vacations ... tried finding it to post but the just of it was :
A guest complaining something like " what happened..... on the brochure the sand looked white.... this is tan and it rained for two days but ..... all the pictures in brochure had sun? " 

I think too many people are that guest...... clueless to the idea that real does not equal what they think it is. 
In today's world it has gotten worse in not seeing the devil is in the details not the original IDEA . 

This current situation is shown the this .... ten fold.  I just look for realists to chat with i guess.


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## Aneeda72 (Jan 7, 2021)

IrisSenior said:


> Awwww come on...life does have its ups and downs and that is what it is all about.  As for glossy brochures - I take it as a look before you leap.
> 
> We ALL need encouragement at times and there are many here who offer it here. I believe there is good in everyone as we all make mistakes and hopefully we will be forgiven.


You obviously never met my mother.


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## Kathleen’s Place (Jan 7, 2021)

I still tend to look thru rose colored glasses until proven wrong. I mean, I’m not stupid, I believe very little of what I read and see until I can approve or disapprove my own self. but when it comes to mankind, everyone has a chance, in my eyes.


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## Aunt Marg (Jan 7, 2021)

Kathleen’s Place said:


> I still tend to look thru rose colored glasses until proven wrong. I mean, I’m not stupid, *I believe very little of what I read and see until I can approve or disapprove my own self. but when it comes to mankind, everyone has a chance, in my eyes.*


Wow, Kathleen, I wish I could be more like you.

Most days as of late I feel as though I have lost any/all faith in mankind and his ways.


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## Kathleen’s Place (Jan 7, 2021)

Aunt Marg said:


> Wow, Kathleen, I wish I could be more like you.
> 
> Most days as of late I feel as though I have lost any/all faith in mankind and his ways.


Quit watching the news . The mankind I see are the ones in my own town...or here on this forum.  They are the only ones who really count to me


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## tbeltrans (Jan 7, 2021)

Tony


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## Jeni (Jan 7, 2021)

what a day...... 
I am at a loss but I guess ...._common sense is not a flower that grows in everyone's garden._

I am currently working, it is not a great job, it is well paid ............but the company is having some growing pains so it seems to change focus everyday............ it is like trying to chase a drunk squirrel.


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## Jeni (Jan 12, 2021)

Do you ignore incompetence  or either call out or inform people of the error?

It seems to be  happening more and more and everyone around me seems to simply give excuses or second/ third/ fourth chances to get it right........ so frustrated at this point. 

People who say they read something but ask a question clearly spelled out in the material.....
People told do NOT reply all but they cannot grasp that concept......
I person told exactly where to find the information needed where a file is located on a shared drive and they want a direct link not having to navigate the system...... i remember in school a teacher having a whole class look up a word in dictionary not because one person could not get it but as she said 'so i know that you know how to look on your own not relying on others for information"
we have so much information all around us at our fingertips and so many seem to expect others to do the steps for them........

My thought is a simple reminder seems to be better then enabling this behavior but those around me who constant complain about having too much to do enable these folks and do all the leg work instead of teaching a person how.


end vent


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## Jeni (Jan 15, 2021)

so i get a voicemail from the company that provides electric service in my home town. I own a home there my daughter and her family lives in and pays me rent.   
They had a large wind storm that knocked out power on Wednesday it is mid day friday still not everyone is restored.... 

what was amusing about it is while using the "covid" excuse of crews only able to work so close etc ...... 
they went on to suggest people ask friends if they can stay over or sofa surf if their power is out and they can't afford a hotel  room .....

They suggested to all those working from home to try to use wifi at coffee shops etc .... even though those are closed to indoor dining.    COMPLETE disconnect and I am not talking about the electricity


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## Jeni (Jan 29, 2021)

I have had some changes happen lately ..... my job (which was a contract position) is ending........i was told they did not update the contract process and everyone's will end on their respective dates... but as I enter information on these things the words are not true.      
A short friendship ended quickly recently also .........

No matter why things end or change............. I want to be able to say thank you............... to the few who made me fit in and taught me skills that i will be taking with me.............I wish ...........i was always  kind and thoughtful enough to say thank you every time this has happened .. or let others that helped me grow and change in jobs and or life know i am grateful...................... i know i missed chances to express my thanks. 

It seems some things end and there was no time to really say "thank you"   for helping me grow.........

I truly hope .....
..................if you are a person who showed another a skill or even made them see items from another vantage point.... 
you see that some times  someone may have not had the chance to say goodbye and thank you properly........
You may have made a bigger difference then you know.........
i hope i get to say thank you ............ but if i miss anyone along the way ......... i  hope they know it.


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## Rosemarie (Jan 30, 2021)

Don't you find that the news channels tend to encourage the lack of realism? Certainly here in Britain, the unpleasant stuff seems to get brushed over and it's the trivial that is given the attention. As the British media uses the American as it's role model, I presume it must be the same in your country too.


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## Jeni (Feb 3, 2021)

I am doing it again.........
Many times i have gone along with items even though I was not entirely on board.........
Have stayed at jobs longer .........went to social events that were disasters even though i did not want to go etc.

My job was scheduled to end last August...... between my placement agency and business they extended to the end of February ..... i did not say anything just went along now as the light of leaving is here my boss wants me to help him convince HR to extend contract .......i find myself resorting to a  people pleasing mode ..... I wrote out item i am doing beyond the general job to help  boss reach out to HR.........but really sit here HOPING they turn him down.


Is it better to be honest and say thanks but no thanks........?


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## Devi (Feb 3, 2021)

In a word: yes.

If you wanted to leave, why stay? If you have to, work it so that your leaving doesn't impact future jobs, but leave, all the same.

At least, that's what I'd do.


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## Jules (Feb 3, 2021)

Do you have any future work possible?  If not, good luck with whatever your present company decides.


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## Jeni (Feb 3, 2021)

Jules said:


> Do you have any future work possible?  If not, good luck with whatever your present company decides.


i work for extras and padding a set retirement plan...... not need....... i know i could replace job if wanted easily .....just felt bad leaving them in the current state of transition they are going through .... but if i stay this will make it seem i want to forever  and that is just not so


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## Jeni (Feb 3, 2021)

Devi said:


> In a word: yes.
> 
> If you wanted to leave, why stay? If you have to, work it so that your leaving doesn't impact future jobs, but leave, all the same.
> 
> At least, that's what I'd do.


i to be honest ... I am staying because the job is easy and grossly overpaid........
i should have said no i do not want to stay when it expired last time but i was not even consulted........ In my shoes i am working for extras not because i am having to make rent etc..... It is assumption IMO that they are somehow doing me a favor ......... 
even though i told them up front I am not dependent on this income...... i find many places assume if you work for a temp place you are struggling to find full time permanent employment instead of i can work for short stints to supplement if I chose.........  this is the problem with assumptions
perhaps it is best i just say i am ready to go....


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## Jules (Feb 3, 2021)

Jeni said:


> perhaps it is best i just say i am ready to go....


It feels like you’ve already made your decision.  Life is too short to do things you don’t enjoy, if you don’t have to.  Good luck.


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## Jeni (Feb 15, 2021)

I sit here with 2 weeks left on this job..... so last night i applied for one job not that i really wanted it but to test the waters ...........
I had phone call this morning from a placing agency (different one then i worked with before) who had not 1 but 15 jobs she could slip me into tomorrow.....

She says she has far more positions to fill then applicants................???............ but that is NOT what anyone would hear on the news all these positions pay between $20-30 an hour ........... where are the people?  

I told her i need to finish my obligation to current role but she said ok as soon as your done call me......


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## Jules (Feb 15, 2021)

Jeni, do you have very specialized skills that others may not have?

Many people don’t think of using Placement Agencies because of the fees or % they take.  I don’t know if this is still true.


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## Jeni (Feb 15, 2021)

Jules said:


> Jeni, do you have very specialized skills that others may not have?
> 
> Many people don’t think of using Placement Agencies because of the fees or % they take.  I don’t know if this is still true.


Never paid a fee ever .....they collect on a contract basis from companies, sometimes it is x amount per hour and sometimes it is a one time cost to businesses if you go direct hire.

i do not think those type of placement places are still in business that asked for employee to pay a fee or they are a scam.

and no these are NOT specialized skilled positions .........
the most specialized item that astounds me is MANY cannot pass a background check....   choices matter and for some things they did in past hold them back for a long long time.


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## Jules (Feb 15, 2021)

Jeni said:


> the most specialized item that astounds me is MANY cannot pass a background check.... choices matter and for some things they did in past hold them back for a long long time.


WOW!


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## Gardenlover (Feb 15, 2021)

What are you trying to do, put me out of business?


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## Jeni (Feb 20, 2021)

so i could not sleep woke up and my arm felt as if i had laid on it and arm went to sleep .... some what painful...but is loosening up as i use it more....

hubby woke for a nanosecond   asked "why are you up"   I told him my arm hurts and he asks can you let the dog out.......a dog that spent 9 hours yesterday laying down never needing to relieve himself gets up 4 times a night.....

good thing my arm  is not a more serious issue would hate to ruin hubbys  beauty sleep...

i came on here looked around and then ..... checked my email........
i opened a account that is paying better  interest..... granted this is an Online ONLY bank .........they sent an email asking if i had signed up for online banking yet? 

i am still shaking my head ....... things that make you go ...WTH.....


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## Jeni (Feb 22, 2021)

So this weekend i was looking on you tube for some song i had not heard in a long time...... some song stuck in my head.......

I stumbled across what seems to be a big trend .......... various young people who had never heard older music  or people who just started to listen to songs outside of their regular genre .............Making  videos of their reactions to older or different music  .... 
Most were very open and it was very entertaining to see people find appreciation in songs/ artist they would have never heard or listened to .........

started as i will watch a few........ and turned into about 5 hours ....


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## Jeni (Feb 22, 2021)

I was talking with a friend .... basic internet chat .......this is what i dislike about the internet

then  Poof this person i cannot seem to contact anymore......
I do not know why .........are they OK?    
when you only have a name general info it is not like finding them again is possible.....I wish i had shared other contact info ......


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## Jeni (Dec 1, 2021)

so today i heard a good one..... a friend of mine had a job interview for a REMOTE position never going to the place ever...... they even asked her to use her own computer.

so the kicker is they want to make sure she is vaccinated ..... for some they think no big deal ...........for others that seems off 
BUT they said ALL vaccines want your entire life record including childhood vaccinations....... MMR Polio tetanus seriously 

STAND up and be HONEST it is about the Covid vaccine but ............asking for this ridiculous  amount of info you can play 
"OH no that is just ONE of them" 
Where did HONESTY go?????????????????

i got a text informing me they are removing a photo i shared on facebook because they found it may have a copyright issue .......... THE truth i have not posted on there in 2 years and they want me to sign in again to see what one etc so they can say see she is still an active user because they have lost so many due to their issues.


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## OneEyedDiva (Dec 1, 2021)

Jeni said:


> so today i heard a good one..... a friend of mine had a job interview for a REMOTE position never going to the place ever...... they even asked her to use her own computer.
> 
> so the kicker is they want to make sure she is vaccinated ..... for some they think no big deal ...........for others that seems off
> BUT they said ALL vaccines want your entire life record including childhood vaccinations....... MMR Polio tetanus seriously
> ...


Either that or someone hacked your account. I find it odd that a company would be concerned about whether or not someone is vaccinated if they will never be going to the office.   I vaguely remember a friend of mine mentioning the same thing about wanting vaccination history from way back but I think it was her doctor's office when she had to "reinstate" herself as their patient.


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## Jeni (Dec 1, 2021)

OneEyedDiva said:


> Either that or someone hacked your account. I find it odd that a company would be concerned about whether or not someone is vaccinated if they will never be going to the office.   I vaguely remember a friend of mine mentioning the same thing about wanting vaccination history from way back but I think it was her doctor's office when she had to "reinstate" herself as their patient.


i agree but it is true she had them email her what all they wanted. it is a multi state healthcare company. i understand if a person was in person at an office or in patient care but a REMOTE data entry position that is over the top.


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## Jeni (Dec 13, 2021)

i have a COLD ...... that is it 
there is something going around in my area.... 
Should be enough to let others i used to walk with daily i am not feeling well going to take it easy for awhile ... BUT everyone seems to feel they have the right to know....
 IS it covid???? 
are you sure??? 
what did you discuss with your doctor ??? what medications have i taken? etc

Simply put if IT is NONE of your business ..... this is what over reach does when they think they have the right to dictate what you do etc

Thanks but no thanks if they are this worked up i think our year of walking with each other is OVER.


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## Tabby Ann (Dec 13, 2021)

I've found Senior Citizen services to be one area where most people have a "glossy brochure" idea of what's out there and then find there are very few services available to seniors who are still living independently.


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## officerripley (Dec 13, 2021)

Tabby Ann said:


> I've found Senior Citizen services to be one area where most people have a "glossy brochure" idea of what's out there and then find there are very few services available to seniors who are still living independently.


So true.


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## Jeni (Dec 14, 2021)

Jeni said:


> i have a COLD ...... that is it
> there is something going around in my area....
> Should be enough to let others i used to walk with daily i am not feeling well going to take it easy for awhile ... BUT everyone seems to feel they have the right to know....
> IS it covid????
> ...


this i why I DOUBT we will ever be civil and trusting of others EVER again.  
 I KNOW that some people whom exposed themselves as ZEALOTS i simply have no time for them again.     
 I will also consider not buying from businesses that took a hard stance 

How will people go back to being civil ?    
Minding their own business and not feeling entitled to think they can run  other peoples lives. 
It has become a world where people will not just turn the other cheek after being treated poorly for not believing the mantra.


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## Jeni (Dec 19, 2021)

The more things change the more they stay the same.....
I think we all remember when things were different  lets take drug coverage the cost skyrocketed in large part to meeting pricing lists for insurance.
NOW the rage is the apps ... good-rx  or singlecare you can search for better price a CASH price not through your insurance.  So keep paying your premium( just in case) but paying cash for your drugs will be your best deal 

I remember when gas prices cash  was always lower then credit/ debit ...... not a new concept.  New insurance at spouse work they compare shop for xrays etc for the cheapest cash price.... lol

What i find amusing is those buying into this advertisement without simply seeing ..YES taking out all the middlemen makes a financial difference in the price.


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## Jeni (Dec 23, 2021)

I want to take the holidays off.....
When christmas becomes more of an obligation then a celebration i think people should just OPT out.
Like halloween if you did not want trick or treaters or such leave your porch light off just opt out.

christmas with grown kids :
#1
I was told by a company hurry and order to get shipped for christmas ...........it got there on the 8th not maybe it wont make it like they were pushing in their ad. So son felt odd that items showed so early like he is obligated to reciprocate .......

#2 we need to travel across state to see daughter and family .... it is exhausting not as fun as limited things to do and is haul stuff there and other stuff back more like a chore.

#3 told me we will get together in a few weeks as they are busy with their new dog.

Now the items i will be hauling home same candies or bath soap i no longer use or want to eat but it is tradition....... i want to be pleasant i want to smile and say thanks for candy i simply do NOT enjoy .....but i am at a point in my life i would rather just say NO thanks count me OUT.


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## officerripley (Dec 23, 2021)

Jeni said:


> I want to take the holidays off.....
> When christmas becomes more of an obligation then a celebration i think people should just OPT out.
> Like halloween if you did not want trick or treaters or such leave your porch light off just opt out.
> 
> ...


Boy do I hear this. My Huzz's family (espec. his mom) always made a big deal out of Christmas, not from a show-offy, look how much we spent kind of way, but still as over the top, especially with the food--not so much expensive food but a LOT of food--and presents and decorating the house as much as possible, I mean like wear yourself out cooking and decorating (especially the women, of course). Used to drive me nuts when he and I were first married--"whaddaya mean we've gotta get up at 4:00 a.m. to drive up there and then drive back home at 10:00 p.m. because even though we've both gotta work it'll break your family's heart if we're not there?"--and it was a shock since they did enjoy Christmas so much, kind of an almost childlike, innocent love for it and in my family it seemed to always be an occasion for yet another screaming match. But over
the years I got kind of used to it. And I was hoping that as the years went by, espec. after his mom died, that Huzz would kind of get over the "we've gotta do it like this, we've always done it like this!" part of it. But no; and for various reasons (work schedules, road closures, etc.), the only people coming here for Christmas this year are going to be my nephew and his wife and one of Huzz's former co-workers. And he is so depressed; "I just wish I could have at least one of my family here, I probably don't have that many Christmases left", etc.

So in addition to trying to gear myself up to make this big holiday dinner--I absolutely hate to cook--I'm dealing with his sadness. So, you know what my favorite day of the year is? January 2 when all this madness is over with for another year.


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## Devi (Dec 23, 2021)

Hmm. Might there be stores (like a Whole Foods Market) in your area from which you could order an entire pre-cooked turkey dinner. Maybe?

We've ordered same before from Whole Foods — it was _*very *_tasty.


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## JustBonee (Dec 23, 2021)

Devi said:


> Hmm. Might there be stores (like a Whole Foods Market) in your area from which you could order an entire pre-cooked turkey dinner. Maybe?
> 
> We've ordered same before from Whole Foods — it was _*very *_tasty.



Same   here  ...  Whole Foods  has never disappointed me   with any of their food, service,   and precooked dinners.


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## officerripley (Dec 23, 2021)

Devi said:


> Hmm. Might there be stores (like a Whole Foods Market) in your area from which you could order an entire pre-cooked turkey dinner. Maybe?
> 
> We've ordered same before from Whole Foods — it was _*very *_tasty.


Well, you can't pick up the pre-cooked dinners on Christmas day so you're having to pick it up who-knows how many days before and find room in your refrigerator for all that and then re-heat it all up on the day you're having the dinner. And even though we're having the dinner on Dec. 24 and I *think* we could pick it up tomorrow, it would still all have to be re-heated and that's one of the hardest things of all about cooking to me: the getting everything all on the table still hot at the same time. So it seems to be just as easy to buy the stuff and then cook it myself.

And joy to the world: the kitchen sink has just developed a leak. So now I've gotta take everything out from under there and he'll try to fix it when he comes back from shopping for the extra food we have to get because he decided last night to invite that co-worker.

So tired of housework and the "joys" of home ownership...so tired.


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## Jeni (Dec 27, 2021)

Does this make sense ....
In my state they have enacted bans on single use  plastic bags at store or restaurants at city levels for 2 years. 
I always found that description off since i often reused the bags for bathroom garbage and other things..... 

Along came covid all  bag bans out the window .... store that had gotten rid of plastic brought them BACK for covid.

store employees said they could not touch a customers reusable bags cause Covid........ 
i had them throw everything back in cart and i bagged my items in parking lot into my reusable bags.    
 Plastic was NOW our friend and most people got two items in every bag so a ton to take home.

Now after postponing for a LONG time a state wide ban happened IF you want a bag you must pay a fee......
Overnight store employees COULD touch your reusable bags....... This over zealous plastic fight want you to ask for a drink lid or any item like plastic utensils.  
So in chatting with a store employee I found out the FEE so important to fight plastic is NOT charged to anyone on food stamps. There is actually a workaround.   They can have as many bags (a thicker and not as useful bag ) as they want.

Seems odd that plastic is a huge  problem..... but not if you are deemed exempt?    I doubt most people KNOW this workaround or exception. 

I agree plastic needs a better % and actual recycling ....as many items are NOT being recycled by companies who claim to recycle. 
I worked for a national retailer who collected bags saying they recycled them but in fact threw them away ...............cause they would have had to sore up a pallet worth or more to get them collected by a recycle firm and they had to pay to ship to somewhere else.


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## katlupe (Dec 28, 2021)

officerripley said:


> Boy do I hear this. My Huzz's family (espec. his mom) always made a big deal out of Christmas, not from a show-offy, look how much we spent kind of way, but still as over the top, especially with the food--not so much expensive food but a LOT of food--and presents and decorating the house as much as possible, I mean like wear yourself out cooking and decorating (especially the women, of course). Used to drive me nuts when he and I were first married--"whaddaya mean we've gotta get up at 4:00 a.m. to drive up there and then drive back home at 10:00 p.m. because even though we've both gotta work it'll break your family's heart if we're not there?"--and it was a shock since they did enjoy Christmas so much, kind of an almost childlike, innocent love for it and in my family it seemed to always be an occasion for yet another screaming match. But over
> the years I got kind of used to it. And I was hoping that as the years went by, espec. after his mom died, that Huzz would kind of get over the "we've gotta do it like this, we've always done it like this!" part of it. But no; and for various reasons (work schedules, road closures, etc.), the only people coming here for Christmas this year are going to be my nephew and his wife and one of Huzz's former co-workers. And he is so depressed; "I just wish I could have at least one of my family here, I probably don't have that many Christmases left", etc.
> 
> So in addition to trying to gear myself up to make this big holiday dinner--I absolutely hate to cook--I'm dealing with his sadness. So, you know what my favorite day of the year is? January 2 when all this madness is over with for another year.


I know exactly what  you are saying! That is how my Christmas was with my husband and his super large family. I hated every minute of it. Who did all the work? The women. And they taught their kids the same thing because it was only the female teens in the kitchen helping. 

I feel for you though because I am living alone and have one son who could care less about holidays, so don't have to deal with it.


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## IFortuna (Dec 28, 2021)

Jeni said:


> me too....
> 
> I have spent my life seeing things for a different point of view and often wonder what it is like only see the good in people or not noticing when things just don't add up in a conversation etc.
> 
> sometimes people need a first hand experience to see through BS in this world ....


Doesn't matter how much experience I have had, good and bad, I still automatically believe the good until it is proven otherwise. I have been bitten so much it has stopped hurting. I choose to keep my rose color glasses on because, as Timothy Leary said just before he died, Why not?  Love never dies.


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## IFortuna (Dec 28, 2021)

Jeni said:


> Does this make sense ....
> In my state they have enacted bans on single use  plastic bags at store or restaurants at city levels for 2 years.
> I always found that description off since i often reused the bags for bathroom garbage and other things.....
> 
> ...


This in not a problem in my community.  My town is small and most people walk around without a mask, (people used to wear them  a lot) even the elderly. Weird but I wear mine sometimes.  At my dentist office no one wears as mask.  I had to go for about a month and a half so. . . I work very hard to keep my immune system high, however, sometimes a mask is called for. Do you agree?


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## Jeni (Dec 28, 2021)

IFortuna said:


> This in not a problem in my community.  My town is small and most people walk around without a mask, (people used to wear them  a lot) even the elderly. Weird but I wear mine sometimes.  At my dentist office no one wears as mask.  I had to go for about a month and a half so. . . I work very hard to keep my immune system high, however, sometimes a mask is called for. Do you agree?


I think in situations like this is as a result of mixed messages we got early on .... people said this summer IF vaccinated you can go mask less so just about everyone did cause who was checking NO ONE .... Another version of the HONOR system that in this day and age simply does not work.
If a person wants to wear a mask even when others quit so be it but i think the dentist office should recognize some like yourself may not be comfortable and try to wear masks around those patients etc.
Below is a link i find a statement on this ...... First we were told masks would not make a difference and we needed to SAVE the N95 and surgical masks for medical staff...
In came everyone and their brother making CLOTH masks this was more comfortable perhaps not as difficult to breathe through etc.
Last week or so a DOCTOR on a TV interview said that cloth masks are simply face decorations and not really doing anything........ some tried to "cancel" him or debate his assessment now a week later the following article saying the SAME thing he got  called out for.

Now they can blame on new variant or what ever they chose. IMO this is simply deflecting that cloth masks or other items the experts have let pass may NEVER have been a good idea and more of a placebo then science. 
A better guess i suppose is many companies turned to making masks and those who bought or made their own cloth are not consuming the disposable ones to pay off those who jumped into business making them.

https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/why-health-experts-recommend-retiring-024139688.html

In my area they passed an emergency use plan and some alcohol producers made hand sanitizer..... now they MUST get rid of all supply before emergency order is up even if they end up throwing truckloads in a landfill.....
this was all people trying to gain a buck from this whole fiasco.


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## IFortuna (Dec 28, 2021)

Jeni said:


> I think in situations like this is as a result of mixed messages we got early on .... people said this summer IF vaccinated you can go mask less so just about everyone did cause who was checking NO ONE .... Another version of the HONOR system that in this day and age simply does not work.
> If a person wants to wear a mask even when others quit so be it but i think the dentist office should recognize some like yourself may not be comfortable and try to wear masks around those patients etc.
> Below is a link i find a statement on this ...... First we were told masks would not make a difference and we needed to SAVE the N95 and surgical masks for medical staff...
> In came everyone and their brother making CLOTH masks this was more comfortable perhaps not as difficult to breathe through etc.
> ...


Maybe I should have been more clear about my dentist. She wears a mask wile doing my work. But, whenever one goes out of their house, it is a risk.  I am not that happy about it but I stay home a lot.


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## IFortuna (Dec 28, 2021)

Bonnie said:


> Same   here  ...  Whole Foods  has never disappointed me   with any of their food, service,   and precooked dinners.


I think my neighbors have never disappointed me.  Every holiday they send over loads of food so I don't cook.


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## IFortuna (Dec 28, 2021)

Jeni said:


> I want to take the holidays off.....
> When christmas becomes more of an obligation then a celebration i think people should just OPT out.
> Like halloween if you did not want trick or treaters or such leave your porch light off just opt out.
> 
> ...


I get how this is.  Sometimes it is hard to make the trip and perform obligations. Can you donate or re-gift some of the things you get?  Just wondering.  There may be some who have use for the gifts you don't want.  Also, you might mention to relatives that instead of gifts to you that maybe they can donate the money they would have spent no matter how small.  Maybe the Salvation Army is an option too. I hope your New Year is better.


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## Jeni (Dec 28, 2021)

IFortuna said:


> Maybe I should have been more clear about my dentist. She wears a mask wile doing my work. But, whenever one goes out of their house, it is a risk.  I am not that happy about it but I stay home a lot.


I understand i was speaking in general for the office of your dentist. 
In a situation that has different reactions, I appreciate the businesses that try to walk the fine line for everyone.


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## Jeni (Dec 28, 2021)

IFortuna said:


> I get how this is.  Sometimes it is hard to make the trip and perform obligations. Can you donate or re-gift some of the things you get?  Just wondering.  There may be some who have use for the gifts you don't want.  Also, you might mention to relatives that instead of gifts to you that maybe they can donate the money they would have spent no matter how small.  Maybe the Salvation Army is an option too. I hope your New Year is better.


Not really an issue in getting rid of items i want RID of the *pretense*.
I can enjoy seeing family or enjoying them liking item i bought them without a gift in return. 
 This has been for many years not just this one. As we get older i do not need more clutter


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## Tom 86 (Dec 28, 2021)

Welcome to the form Jeni;
We have plants around here with huge signs along with the road or on their fence wanting workers.  They are offering the same 20 to $40.00 an hr.  No one is taking them.  I have my own thoughts on this but I could be wrong also.


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## officerripley (Dec 28, 2021)

katlupe said:


> I know exactly what  you are saying! That is how my Christmas was with my husband and his super large family. I hated every minute of it. Who did all the work? The women. And they taught their kids the same thing because it was only the female teens in the kitchen helping.
> 
> I feel for you though because I am living alone and have one son who could care less about holidays, so don't have to deal with it.


IKR? As Karen Karbo put it in her book, _Yeah, No. Not Happening: How I Found Happiness Swearing Off Self-Improvement and Saying F*ck It All—and How You Can Too_:

"…[T]he [winter] holidays…[are], as my friend Connie says, 'an annual festival put on by women for the enjoyment of men and children.'"

Also, as the wonderful writer Jenny Lawson puts it in her book _Furiously Happy_:

"My primary thoughts during the holidays are 'Stab. Stab. Stab. Run away.'"


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## Jeni (Dec 29, 2021)

Does anyone else have moments that activities or items that once were entertaining or amusing hold no interest anymore?

I will try items be interested and then bam no longer care if i ever do it again.....
these can be hobbies friends new games or activities into it for a short time then  when i try to do again i simply do not even see what ever i saw in it.

I had a short term temp job for a few months last year the manager told me if a person they hoped would retire etc he wanted to hire me immediately .... they texted and hinted maybe February ... honestly I am less then excited ... it was a ok job the people were great i just no longer have any interest in it ..... never said anything said text or call me in january now as that approaches i dread any call....
I have no idea what i want to do ... think working again will be good but dont think i want anything but temp as my give a hoot threshold is so low now.
perhaps it is a short term depression or phase but i would like to find out why this came on in the last month


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## Devi (Dec 29, 2021)

Look into what may have happened before this came on?


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## Tabby Ann (Dec 29, 2021)

Jeni said:


> I want to take the holidays off.....
> When christmas becomes more of an obligation then a celebration i think people should just OPT out.


I agree wholeheartedly!!


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## Jeni (Jan 2, 2022)

today's entry 1/2/2022

on my way to sons house i thought as we drove by uncleared sidewalks    Does anyone do or know the things we are expected to do? 
I remember many a older person worried if they could not clear the walk ..... 

In many cities clearing off the sidewalk is the responsibility of a homeowner or business by rules or ordinance.... yet some seldom do it....
I live in an area that has very little snow but  in the last few years more has fallen and stuck around this time we are past a week with on the ground ....

I am frustrated that the small gated community does not take care of the sidewalk in front even as it is in the city code to do so. group did a poor job even clearing by community mail area etc. 

Then as we traveled  a bit i see the road department did not do their portion of sidewalk across a bridge and other businesses and home owners also did not clear.. 
People say things like we get so little snow .... so why have in city rules if amount and some years we do not get some...
The same applied to summer........  this last summer the group managing the community scraped moss off sidewalk and threw in street.  against the code but not enforced. 

My point is rule  if not enforced what good is a code or rule?   
Yet we keep on books............... and someday they may cite property owners who may not even realize since no one cared until perhaps a revenue grab.    
Why are these rules or laws kept on books?    
I think like  household clutter we should clear away items we NEVER plan to enforce.


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## Jeni (Jan 4, 2022)

1/4/2022
My hindsight may need glasses...
I am cleaning and getting rid of clutter today looking for items I know are here... somewhere. Husband moves things often.
Lots of things need to be done around the house we have one major project that went on hold due to an illness .... he is Recovered... not sure when the time is right to ask him to complete.

I am trying very hard to keep my perspective but as i keep stumbling across items thrown in wrong areas ( husband) or simply in the way i have tried to see when he became such a slob....
On a thread about who was neat one i said he WAS in the first ..... Again hindsight may be wrong No one can be this different from their younger years.
as we had kids and house and full time plus jobs etc things slack off
He would have moments that he wanted the house cleaned top to bottom.... this is still one of the kids peeves / long when i was a kid stories complaining about dads cleaning fits

Now empty nest i looked so forward to less mess ... i think we have more...% wise. 
Now he cleans nothing ....throws junk and stuff in guest room without any regard..
I have enough empty boxes to build a house just flatten and recycle not that hard..... plastic packaging found behind sofa.... when he does recycle i often have to go through as some items he throws in are not accepted.
He does not help at ALL
Maybe i think he helped more prior to empty nest .....and it was kids that did more....  I am cleaning will flatten and throw boxes in recycle and will hear a list of he was saving them for shipping something. 
although he previously has thrown out things of mine with no regard or asking .... these are empty boxes....
The frustration level is off the charts.....
As we have had a few other issues i looked for helpful hints to correct  but the marriage advice seems to blame ME for not being VOCAL enough about putting things back in the right spot etc...... makes me more frustrated.


Writing this out in a diary does not seem to vent as sharing and perhaps getting responses


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## Sachet (Jan 4, 2022)

When talking doesn't help, walking might.


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## Jeni (Jan 4, 2022)

Sachet said:


> When talking doesn't help, walking might.


just more work as i suppose i would be in charge of separating stuff.  LMAO   

I really just need to get off my chest sometimes as my friends either single/ on spouse #4 or widowed and hard to understand my situation.
I know others probably can relate or have their own issues with spouses.


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## helenbacque (Jan 4, 2022)

The brochures are selling a dream not a reality.  It works for those of us who live in a fantasy world  ........and many of us do.


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## Jeni (Jan 4, 2022)

helenbacque said:


> The brochures are selling a dream not a reality.  It works for those of us who live in a fantasy world  ........and many of us do.


I guess i should change my heading has nothing to do with brouchures just my way of saying things are not as it seems


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## bingo (Jan 4, 2022)

i  just saw this post and will check back as time allows  to see if you got empty boxes out...
my world is  so simple


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## Jeni (Jan 4, 2022)

bingo said:


> i  just saw this post and will check back as time allows  to see if you got empty boxes out...
> my world is  so simple


felt better just venting and ran out of room in recycle bin will need to wait until that is picked up


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## Jeni (Jan 10, 2022)

So just had a few items thought i would share
Today we had a delivery and it just has the shipping label on the item......  no box/ no  bubble envelope or anything 
so at first i thought good no package to throw away and BONUS if porch pirates were around they could see it was nothing interesting to take   hope some people do not have something that should stay discreet.

this weekend my husband looked up an item on a local stores website... he drove there and after looking around asked where the item could be located.......... 
salesperson said " we do NOT carry that and NEVER  have "   
my husband told him "it is ON your website."... and showed him on his phone
sales with attitude  "  well i have never seen it" 
husband said "never seen your website or the item? "    guy walked away from my husband. 
what happened to customer service......

I take part in a survey site that you earn points and can redeem for gift cards...
NOW in almost all surveys lately they ask in a few ways throughout the survey ....... something like this    
ask a question about a divisive subject then continue saying we find most people NO longer READ so to prove you read the whole question pick answer B  .......
evidently they have found many of their surveys to be useless as people were not reading just assuming 
 so if you ever question a poll or survey the people may not have READ the question


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## Jeni (Mar 2, 2022)

Every so often i have items that i find out and although minor i wonder "how many others see this or know this"

1. husband has a new job ... needed to take a drug test ...not a big deal ....
went to make appointment at a clinic .... and they offered all sorts of additional testing and services like they were up selling as if they were a waiter in a restaurant.....  seriously are they this desperate for customers now ? 

2. my son in law's brother bought a car through Carvana .... the temporary plates expired at end of January he still today in March does not have plates ... 
he went through state wondering what went wrong... 
The Online car groups DID not own the car they SOLD him .... an old trick of not changing title to dealership but try to just transfer from old owner to new much like the old fly by night car sales
The  BBB and at least 3 state attorney generals  found  Carvanna and Vroom have done this to many folks ... they cannot extend the temporary tags and need to finalize ... just WHO owns this car.... 
he paid in full and now cannot drive it so be careful if considering these online car sales....


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## Jeni (Mar 11, 2022)

Making friends the hard way.............
the house next door sold  in December spoke with the new owners a couple of times...
Yesterday while heading out for my daily walk the lady spoke mentioning the weather etc then said .... "_you are some sort of walking fool"_

I was not sure what was meant by it just said "well i have lost about 30lbs in last year just walking"....... 
she immediately looked down at herself as she is fairly heavy and walked away..... I think she assumed i meant something that i did not ....this will be awkward in the future


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## Medusa (Mar 11, 2022)

Jeni said:


> hello all,
> My title is a result of recent conversations with people, some who think life works just like what they see on a  glossy brochure.
> 
> Often it is not after you get into a situation that you see the glossy picture you bought into is just not so.
> ...


I swear I thought you were quoting Billy Crystal.  

While I'm also so glad you're enjoying this forum and its truly kind, open populace.


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