# I Don't Want Your Stuff



## RadishRose (Nov 15, 2018)

WIVBTV 
Published on Sep 22, 2016          


                        Millennials are saying to their parents: "I don't want your stuff" as Baby Boomer parents downsize their bigger homes and look to pass along family treasures.


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## Ruth n Jersey (Nov 15, 2018)

RadishRose,did that video ever hit home! My daughter and son have made it very clear they are not interested in having any of my collectibles and dinnerware. It really does make me feel bad. I cherish my Moms and Grandmas things and think of them every time I use them.

I tell myself I will be dead and none of it will matter but it still bothers me. Until that day I will enjoy my things. This Thanksgiving I will use my good set of dishes and put the same foods in the same serving dishes that my Grandma and Mom did and take great satisfaction in that. 

I only hope I will remain in this house until I die because having to get rid of these cherished items will be extremely hard.


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## RadishRose (Nov 15, 2018)

Aww, Ruth, please don't feel sad. Use your good set of dishes every day and enjoy them in the now!   :love_heart:


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## hollydolly (Nov 15, 2018)

I completely agree with you Ruth, that's how I feel too.

My daughter wants absolutely nothing from my house, and I look at all the lovely things which will get thrown in the dumpster...she won't even send them to a charity shop or sell them , that's how she is.. and most of all I hate to think that she won't be interested in my lovingly kept journals and diaries, or all my photos even on a stick.. nor does she want any of the things I've kept from her own childhood, school reports, awards etc, and also the thought of my own mothers wedding ring, and a few things I have belonging to my grandmother all going in the bin.. It's heartbreaking!!

I would have given anything to have had journals and photos from my grandparents... and I wish my parents had kept my school reports etc, so I could have them but they didn't...


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## RadishRose (Nov 15, 2018)

hollydolly said:


> I completely agree with you Ruth, that's how I feel too.
> 
> My daughter wants absolutely nothing from my house, and I look at all the lovely things which will get thrown in the dumpster...she won't even send them to a charity shop or sell them , that's how she is.. and most of all I hate to think that she won't be interested in my lovingly kept journals and diaries, or all my photos even on a stick.. nor does she want any of the things I've kept from her own childhood, school reports, awards etc, and also the thought of my own mothers wedding ring, and a few things I have belonging to my grandmother all going in the bin.. It's heartbreaking!!
> 
> I would have given anything to have had journals and photos from my grandparents... and I wish my parents had kept my school reports etc, so I could have them but they didn't...



I remember speaking with you in the past about this and I remain of the opinion still, that your daughter will keep your journals.


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## C'est Moi (Nov 15, 2018)

I have no intention of decluttering or getting rid of any of my things.   I love our home and my "stuff" and I intend to keep it and use it.   I don't give a rat's patoot what happens to it when I die.  I'm leaving all my jewelry to my only granddaughter and she'll probably roll her eyes at it but that's OK.   I'm pretty sure our kids will keep some of our things and dump the rest; not a problem for me.


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## AZ Jim (Nov 15, 2018)

George Carlin on "Stuff"...


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## RadishRose (Nov 15, 2018)

:lofl:One of his very best!


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## hollydolly (Nov 15, 2018)

RadishRose said:


> I remember speaking with you in the past about this and I remain of the opinion still, that your daughter will keep your journals.




sadly RR...I know her only too well, she will burn them unread... *sigh*


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## RadishRose (Nov 15, 2018)

hollydolly said:


> sadly RR...I know her only too well, she will burn them unread... *sigh*



:sorrow:


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## terry123 (Nov 15, 2018)

Still miss George!!


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## jujube (Nov 15, 2018)

My daughter and granddaughter have no interest in my "stuff".  It used to bother me, but I've gotten over it.  My big collection was sold a few years ago. I've already given them the "good" jewelry and there's not much furniture left.  I'll probably sell the dish sets sometime and the tchochkies can go in the dumpster when the time comes.  

The only thing I regret is that they have no interest in the boxes and boxes of family pictures I have.  I hope I can get them under control by the time I die and the really, really important ones on a stick, at least.


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## Aunt Bea (Nov 15, 2018)

It's sad but true.

I keep sifting, sorting and disposing of things.  

When it becomes too painful I stop and then a few months later for some reason I'm ready to let a few more things go.

If I had someone to actually give the things to it would make the process so much easier for me.

I guess there is no point in sucking my thumb, the only reason I have any of this stuff is that someone else wanted to get rid of it!


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## Trade (Nov 16, 2018)

AZ Jim said:


> George Carlin on "Stuff"...



George Carlin. 

What a comic genius he was. 

He could expose the truth about so many things we don't like to admit, and have you rolling on the floor laughing about it. 

I really miss that dude. 

RIP George.


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## Keesha (Nov 16, 2018)

AZ Jim said:


> George Carlin on "Stuff"...



This was one of my favourites of his. 

Well I am going to be the oddball out cause I DO want some other my parents things when they go and would be heart broken if they went to anyone but me. 

Over the years I’ve made so many things for my parents that their entire house is covered with them. There are watercolour painting sets, acrylic paintings, woodburned art, needlepoint  that took me years to complete. These items feel like a part of me is in them and the thought that they could be tossed into the garbage does kind of get to me some. I’m not sure why. 

I would love to have the fine China mainly for the fond memories. Like Ruth we always had a fancy dinner at special occasions 
and these dinners were the very few times we actually sat down together as a family so they are precious to me. 

I wouldnt want all their stuff but I would help sort through it before they went if it would help them at all but I doubt they would want that.


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## Buckeye (Nov 16, 2018)

Does the "stuff" they don't want include cash and other investments?  Asking for a friend.


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## Gary O' (Nov 16, 2018)

hollydolly said:


> sadly RR...I know her only too well, she will burn them unread... *sigh*



In yer will, request they be posted here
We’ll know what to do with them
At least I will
And if I’m already gone, put a little thing in there, thanking me (while yer in the taproom)

My kids’ll want my guns, and gun cabinet

I have three bibles, ancient ones, between some bookends my grandad carved.
One of the bibles contains a hand written record of family lineage, along with who gifted him that bible,
It was obviously written with a fountain pen. Script writing, impeccable script writing.
I’m takin’ that with me. I’ll need it, where I’m goin’

I hope someone burns whatever I’ve written.
You guys haven’t seen some of that stuff…makes _*Portnoy’s Complaint *_look like a nursery rhyme.
I may burn it myself, before my exit, or take it with me….it’ll disintegrate  

My lady will sell my Jeep and tools

Everthing else is junk
I wouldn’t want any of it willed to me


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## gennie (Nov 16, 2018)

Old pictures, family journals and diaries and old family items are the stuff of dreams for someone who is researching family history.  If none of your immediate family is interested in genealogy, look around among your cousins with whom you share grandparents.


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## StarSong (Nov 16, 2018)

When my mother died a few years ago I cleared her 3500 sf house.  She had accumulated many beautiful things, most of which where happily welcomed into the homes of her children and grands, the rest were donated.  My own home is also filled with beautiful items, many of which were gifts from my mother or came from her home.  

What will happen to our stuff when it's time to downsize from this home or exit this life altogether?  I hope my children will follow my template - keep some things in their own homes and donate the rest.  Whatever they decide is ok with me.


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## Aunt Bea (Nov 16, 2018)

Hoot N Annie said:


> Does the "stuff" they don't want include cash and other investments? Asking for a friend.


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## Trade (Nov 16, 2018)

I doubt my kids want any of my stuff. I pride myself on having the best residential burglary prevention system there is. 

Nothing worth stealing.


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## dkay (Nov 16, 2018)

I downsized several years ago giving many items to my daughter/granddaughters. I actually enjoy seeing them use the desk my grandfather made, use the china on holidays that was my mothers. The rest will be up to my daughter when I depart this world. Hopefully anything that is still of use will be donated and not discarded.  I guess I don't get too involved with stuff since I live in tornado alley and have seen "stuff" all disappear in a matter of minutes. I see it in areas of hurricanes and flooding and now all the fires in California. It's kind of nice that photos can be stored online, especially family photos.  Replacing old memories with new memories really isn't that difficult.


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## Lethe200 (Nov 16, 2018)

Yes, I didn't want many of my mother's things. I had four items and have already gotten rid of two of them. One was a silk painting my grandmother brought from Japan as part of her dowry; I sent it to one of my few cousins who (1) has kids who might want it someday, and (2) is himself an artist and art teacher, so he appreciates it on its own worth.

The other two items might be of interest to my niece and/or nephew; if they don't want them, or none of our younger friends are interested, then off to Goodwill they go. 

The one really valuable item was a Mikimoto pearl necklace my MIL tried to give to me. It had a ruby/emerald/diamond clasp and the pearls were flawless matched 10mm white. She never dressed up so she never wore it. At this point in my life dressing up consists of not wearing my Polarfleece vest, LOL, so I would never wear it either!

I sat down with her and discussed who would best appreciate it. Her goddaughter loved jewelry, but has no children, never dresses up, and MIL didn't much like the spouse. But there was a niece in Canada who was pretty close to MIL, has a daughter and would probably treasure the necklace. I convinced her the niece was really the best choice to keep it in the family, so she sent it off and the niece was absolutely thrilled, had never expected anything so it was "coming out of the blue". Now that MIL has died I'm really glad she gave the necklace to someone who appreciated it.

It's always worth asking around. I was happy to find that a friend of ours adored my own bone china dinnerware, which I no longer used, and was so happy to take it off our hands!


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## Falcon (Nov 16, 2018)

My  only children  are  identical  twin  sons  (Now  adults.)   When I  "go",   THEY  get this house and everything  in it  that they want.

They can even have friends  come and take a look and take  anything  they want.  I'll be beyond  caring.


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## RadishRose (Nov 16, 2018)

It's great that your things were wanted and appreciated, Lethe.

I've been using my own "good' dishes for everyday around 9 years now. I like them and tho' I've lost few, I no longer want to hide away things I like,  to only use a few times a year anymore. Plus my guest list has shrunk, so the few broken pieces aren't missed. I will never have 12 for dinner again.


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## Marie5656 (Nov 16, 2018)

When my mom passed I was given her "good" China. I did not really want it. Not my style and I had no place to keep it. So, I told my brother he could have it. I had other family members have fits because I told my brother to keep it. Took them a  long time to move on.


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## treeguy64 (Nov 16, 2018)

My Dad wanted me to take all of his woodworking equipment that he had accumulated in the basement workshop at his retirement highrise. I had to tell him that I had no room for it, the absolute truth. We all accumulate things that we value, for whatever reasons. After I'm gone, I suppose most of my stuff will be shoveled into one of those giant, roll-off dumpsters, and driven to the waste disposal acreage outside of town. No big deal, whatsoever. I have no desire to force my particular tastes on anyone.


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## Leann (Nov 17, 2018)

I've done a reasonably good job of editing the stuff in my life. I've donated quite a bit of it to charity and given much of it to family and friends. That was the easy part because it was MY stuff. But I also have things that were my parents and my brother's (all are deceased) and I've barely made a dent in sorting through any of that. Most of it is stored in bins in the basement which means that I'm not using it nor seeing it but when I have made the time to begin sorting through it, memories flood in and I have to stop. It's silly really because we aren't talking about heirloom pieces that would create a bidding war if they were auctioned. No, these are things most people would walk by if they were on tables to be sold at a garage sale. 

So, I have made 3 goals for myself for the next 12 months (not resolutions, I don't make those) and one is to sort through several boxes each month and either offer the items to my family (they won't be interested but I'll make the gesture), donate, sell, recycle or discard the contents. If I stay with this plan, by this time next year I'll have gone through most of the boxes.


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## RadishRose (Nov 17, 2018)

Good for you Leann. No hurry.


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## Lord Elpus (Nov 17, 2018)

I sorted this problem...one that plagues so many 'seniors'.
I was sneaky...I made certain that the solicitor who drafted my will ENSURED my siblings and their offspring knew about the ''No family member of any variation, gender,generation or association, is to be offered or allowed to obtain ANY item I own at the point of my demise'' clause.

.....the one certainty that clause _ensures_, is that the buggers'll be FIGHTING each other to grab odds-n-sods once I peg it.  [SNEAKY me...hehehe]


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## CarolfromTX (Jan 26, 2019)

Over the past year, I have been editing my belongings, which sounds so much better than decluttering. LOL! I have so much that I don't need, or use anymore. Things I've held onto for God only knows what reason, but probably can be attributed to inertia. Objects at rest....  I have a beautiful breakfront filled with crystal and glassware that I never, ever use. Can't quite bring myself to do anything about it. My daughter doesn't want any of it, and I can't say I blame her.  The thing that bugs me? I have many dresser scarves and linens hand embroidered by my grandmother. The work is beautiful. Everything has to be ironed. Nobody wants it. It's totally out of style. What to do? Absolutely no idea.


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## treeguy64 (Jan 26, 2019)

My Dad tried to get me to take his woodworking tools. I had no interest, or room, for them. I'm happy with the two, very small mementos I have,  that were his, and two from my Mom. That's it. When I become late, I'm sure most of my stuff will be thrown in a roll-off dumpster. That doesn't concern me in the least bit.


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## Ronni (Jan 26, 2019)

I kept many mementos from when my kids were little.  Drawings, report cards, their first lunch boxes, favorite books, clothes that had significance (first pair of overalls, shoes etc.)    They were kept in my keepsake boxes, the kids all knew about the boxes, and as they got older, they'd bring me stuff to put in their keepsake box.  As the kids left home to make lives of their own, I'd give them their keepsake boxes.  There were half a dozen or more for each child.  I told them flat out that as far as I was concerned, they were theirs to do with as they wished.  They could take them straight to a dumpster if that's what they wanted. 

Interestingly each of my five kids went through the stuff, laughing at some of the stuff that was important to them when they told me to keep it.  They all LOVED that I'd saved their favorite books.  The ones who have kids have passed those books on and I get such a kick out of seeing a grandchild read or be read to from one of the books that belonged to their parents when the parents were little.  

I also get a HUGE kick out of seeing some of the clothes that my kids wore being worn by their children!!!  It's still happening and I LOVE it. 

Over time, over the years, I've slowly pared down my own belongings, offering things to the kids, getting rid of what they don't want.  I have very little of significance left, and that's just the way I want it.  I'll keep the stuff with me till I die, bequeath certain things to certain people in my will, and the rest can be tossed.  I've already discussed with my kids who wants what after I'm gone, to keep the bickering to a minimum


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