# Are the holidays stressful for you?



## debodun (Dec 9, 2015)

On a scale of 1 to 10 (1=not at all, 10=frazzled to the max), how stressful is Christmastime for you?


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## debodun (Dec 9, 2015)

2-3. Not as much for me as it used to be since I have no one to shop for anymore. I do attend some parties and the drive home at night or to unfamiliar locales is probably the most stressful thing. I don't drink, either, it's just I don't have the best night vision.


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## tortiecat (Dec 9, 2015)

Maybe a 5 - I still bake all the cookies and squares for family; stopped doing Christmas cakes a couple of years
ago.  Presents are gift certificates or money, can no longer do the malls.


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## jujube (Dec 9, 2015)

Depends....
Am I at the mall?  10   
Am I at home watching a Christmas movie?  1
Have the lights gone out again on the Christmas tree?   8
Did I just get a box of Godiva Peppermint Bark in the mail?  -3


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## hollydolly (Dec 9, 2015)

Stressful?...zero....!! I enjoy them to the MAX!!


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## fureverywhere (Dec 9, 2015)

Since we made a rule of just presents for the wee ones and possibly whomever we gave birth to...much easier. But I still manage to gift our house including dogs and cats, eeep I forgot the rats. But about a 4 in stress. Just wrapping and bagging and tagging. Oh and my Dad and his partner, and son, grandson and wife get their own bag.


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## Shalimar (Dec 9, 2015)

About a five until all the baking, decorating, wrapping, and sending care parcels to poor deprived children in Winterpeg are completed. Then I am able to immerse myself  in my yearly hedonistic, obsessive Xmas love affair with locally made Belgian chocolate. Heaven!


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## Falcon (Dec 9, 2015)

NO, not a bit!


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## SeaBreeze (Dec 9, 2015)

Probably a 2, holidays are no big deal for us, the most stress comes from the traffic jams that suddenly appear in the shopping areas, could do without that.


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## Cookie (Dec 9, 2015)

No stress here either.  Keep it simple, easy and fun.


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## SifuPhil (Dec 9, 2015)

1.

It's easy when you don't celebrate at all.


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## AprilSun (Dec 11, 2015)

1 now that I'm not doing the cooking for the whole family. We go to our daughter's house now and that eliminates the stress for me. Also, I don't worry about what to get the grandchildren. I let their mothers decide what to give them and then go from there.


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## Butterfly (Dec 11, 2015)

I find them kind of depressing . . . .


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## Butterfly (Dec 11, 2015)

SifuPhil said:


> 1.
> 
> It's easy when you don't celebrate at all.



Pretty much what I'm doing this year.


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## SifuPhil (Dec 11, 2015)

Butterfly said:


> Pretty much what I'm doing this year.



Great - we can not celebrate together! 

Follow me:

1. No Christmas decorations
2. Spend the day cleaning the bathroom with an old toothbrush
3. Trim those troublesome ear hairs
4. Spank the cat frequently

Before you know it the day will be over!


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## Bobw235 (Dec 12, 2015)

Christmas has not been a big deal at our home since our son moved away years ago.  No tree, no decorations, and little stress.  We'll get presents for the grandkids and our son, ship them over to England (thanks Amazon) and send out some cards.  My wife and I make a nice meal for ourselves then hit the movies for a matinee.  The only stress really comes from getting presents for the kids, because our daughter-in-law pretty much demands veto power over whatever we want to get.  Touchy situation.  Facing that today actually.


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## Ruth n Jersey (Dec 22, 2015)

I probably bring this on myself, but there are several things that stress me out during the holidays. People who call the morning of the holiday and tell me someone isn't feeling well and might not be able to make it, I'll let you know,they say. Two hours go by,another phone call, We most likely will make it, we will call on the way. Now the stress. Do I really need the extra side dish? Do I open this or that? Recently our little gathering has gotten smaller so having all that extra left over does matter. I probably should say something but that's not me. Then you have the "diet people". I realize as we grow older there are dietary restrictions. I listen all year long about somebody's cholesterol level, go out of my way to make sure I have some fresh veggies, low fat "whatever" for them to enjoy then they turn around and eat the most fat laden items I have on the table. Take the diabetic, who I made sugar free cookies for and have on hand sugar free ice cream and they proceed to devour my chocolate layer cake. You probably are thinking, I shouldn't bother, or by now, I should have learned. I guess you would be right. Sorry, this really did turn into a rant. Other than this, I'm just full of the holiday spirit. Maybe I'll just feed them Rover's Alpo.


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## Shalimar (Dec 22, 2015)

Ruth, I would be stressed also. Wow, the maybe I will, maybe I won't be there people, how inconsiderate is that? I think I would hesitate before inviting them again. As for the diabetic person, I would have some sugar free chocolates on hand, but other than that, it would be regular desserts. You are doing  your guests a favour by inviting them over for dinner, not the other way around. I can understand you not wanting to say anything, but not inviting them again, or at least not going to a great deal of trouble, is a viable option .


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## AprilT (Dec 22, 2015)

I'm going to have to begin counting and taking deep breaths. I was doing better than expected till the invitations came in, first I was kind of fine with it, but then wanted to just worm my way out, but, was told no way was I going to spend the day at home alone after it was found out I did so on Thanksgiving. After that friend who was out of state called and said she was coming to get me to spend the Christmas/New Years holiday at her house.  Can't do that, not that I even want to, though she says she'll pick me up Sat instead.  I'm stressing over this as I just want to stay home now.  It's good enough just knowing they offered, I don't actually feel up to going, so much more seems required, which is of my own making, for Christmas than Thanksgiving, so at the moment, I just want to stay in, maybe go out for NYE and that's it.  My very best friend will give me a call later in the week as we talked about her just coming to hang out with me for NYE, that would be better than her having to drive me two hours each way to her town that's like 8 hrs round trips back and forth for her.  That's a lot of driving in holiday traffic.  We went through something similar a few years ago when she wanted to drive down and some of my nearby Florida SF people know about that Skyway bridge, it was a windy thunderstorm that particular night, so, I was able to talk my way out of it.  I do have anxiety about that bridge and too much time in crazy traffic in general.    It's a wonder I have any friends.  Guess that's why I so dearly love the ones I do have.  

This is what I first had to say after close of above irrational ranting,..... "I realize this isn't earth shattering and the moments will pass, but, right now, I just can't wait for the whole season to be over with.  Why do I do this to myself."........  After thinking about the last part of the last line of the above paragraph, I changed my mind and what I'm thinking is, I should be darn grateful  teared up.  Stress removed.  

Will go to Christmas party embrace the gift of friendship hope whatever wine choice I make will go well with the dinner or dessert or however the host chooses to make use of gift.  whatever, my BFF decides she really wants to do, that will be the plan this year.


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## AprilT (Dec 22, 2015)

Ruth n Jersey said:


> I probably bring this on myself, but there are several things that stress me out during the holidays. People who call the morning of the holiday and tell me someone isn't feeling well and might not be able to make it, I'll let you know,they say. Two hours go by,another phone call, We most likely will make it, we will call on the way. Now the stress. Do I really need the extra side dish? Do I open this or that? Recently our little gathering has gotten smaller so having all that extra left over does matter. I probably should say something but that's not me. Then you have the "diet people". I realize as we grow older there are dietary restrictions. I listen all year long about somebody's cholesterol level, go out of my way to make sure I have some fresh veggies, low fat "whatever" for them to enjoy then they turn around and eat the most fat laden items I have on the table. Take the diabetic, who I made sugar free cookies for and have on hand sugar free ice cream and they proceed to devour my chocolate layer cake. You probably are thinking, I shouldn't bother, or by now, I should have learned. I guess you would be right. Sorry, this really did turn into a rant. Other than this, I'm just full of the holiday spirit. *Maybe I'll just feed them Rover's Alpo.*



Oh my gosh, hilarious.    Honestly, I wouldn't even think of expecting the host to make all these exceptions for me, when invited, I will look to see what is appropriate to my diet, there is always something at most dinners to appease all.  It is of course nice if the host goes above and beyond, but, when I go to a holiday dinner like this, I go for the company more than anything.  I'm a finicky eater, but, I wouldn't go out of my way to make another accommodate my taste when I'm visiting their home.


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## Underock1 (Dec 22, 2015)

hollydolly said:


> Stressful?...zero....!! I enjoy them to the MAX!!




:stop: Stop! Old, tired, worn out person here. Don't want to hear about people actually having *FUN! Bah! Humbug!
*
Actually, aside from dealing with the emotional side, I am having the least stressful Christmas since childhood. I put up an 18" replica "Charlie Brown" tree, draped a few chains around and hung or stood less than a dozen of our most meaningful decorations. 
No lights! Free at last! :banana:  So I am now about a 1.


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## Ruth n Jersey (Dec 22, 2015)

Your insight has been most helpful. I think after this holiday season I'll bring up the subject and let the people involved know, in the future, it would be better if they would make the decision about coming or not as early as possible and stick with it. Not inviting them is not an option. We have been friends for many, many years. I think as Shalimar said, maybe I just won't go to as much trouble as I have been doing in past years. I guess as AprilT stated, it really is about friendship and family and I, as well, should be happy they want to come to my home and celebrate the holidays. I didn't have this problem when I first started hosting these holidays more than 40 years ago. It may all have to do with age. Some of these people have had a hard life through the years and have struggled. My husband and I have been blessed with  good health and a good life. It is nice to see everyone having a good holiday, but I do get tired and don't have the energy I had before. I think my problem is, I have to let up a bit and then I may enjoy it more. Merry Christmas to all.


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## AprilSun (Dec 25, 2015)

Butterfly said:


> I find them kind of depressing . . . .



So do I, Butterfly. I used to enjoy Christmas and would get so excited but now it is depressing.


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## NancyNGA (Dec 25, 2015)

Zero stress here. 

One year I put up lights on the front porch and they looked really good (imo).  I was about the only one on the whole street to do any decorating outside and several neighbors came by to say they appreciated it.  Most of my neighbors are renters. I keep threatening to do it again but never seem to get around to it.  Next year maybe.  But even that I wouldn't call stressful.


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## Butterfly (Dec 25, 2015)

April T, I also spent Thanksgiving by myself, by choice.  I deeply resent the "no way you're spending the holiday alone" kind of thing -- my day, my choice.  Even tho I may be a teensy bit over the hill, I resent the assumption that I am a "holiday orphan" and am sadly languishing alone, waiting for an invite.


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## Ina (Dec 25, 2015)

Butterfly, I'm with you.  My husband and son died last year, and except for one person, not one other family member thought I needed anything this whole year,  not a phone call much less a visit. Now because they feel guilty I get three invites to dinner.  No thank you, I think I can do Christmas on my own.


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## jujube (Dec 25, 2015)

I tend to feel "let down" after Christmas.  I can't let go of Christmasses of old filled with family and fun and it's just not like that any more.  In my mind, I have accepted this but my heart hasn't.  I did enjoy getting to see my granddaughter (and her cute little baby bump) this year and we did spend Christmas Eve at my daughters (and my son-in-law was less obnoxious than usual) so it wasn't a total loss.  I decorated the heck out of the house for the first time in five years and that was fun.


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