# Now that were seniors, what do think "Wisdom" is?



## Paco Dennis (Jul 24, 2021)

Maybe how we think of wisdom is a "goal" we all wish to obtain. It probably includes empathy, understanding, helping others, to not be caught with our pants down, don't cross the road without looking both ways , don't trust "back stabbers"...etc. Many folk find their wisdom in religion, others in philosophy, others in in tried and true methods of doing things, from their best friends, etc....

I am curious what comes to your mind when you ponder what wisdom means to you?


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## Paco Dennis (Jul 24, 2021)

It is hard for me to describe what wisdom "IS". It is easier for me to to describe what it is not. All thoughts of selfish desire, ill-will, hatred, and violence are the result of a lack of wisdom in all spheres of life whether individual, social, or political.


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## katlupe (Jul 24, 2021)

For me, wisdom is all the lessons I have learned along the way in my life. I think God is teaching me every day and these are lessons to gain the wisdom for what comes next after my earthly life. That is my own belief not saying it is right or wrong.


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## Ceege (Jul 24, 2021)

Taking our mistakes, and our accomplishments, as lessons to last us a lifetime.  And, if anyone will listen, some advice to, at least, consider.


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## Shalimar (Jul 24, 2021)

To live my life with kindness and compassion whenever  possible. In difficult situations, to know when to try harder, and when to walk away. To never be complicit in any relationship which is toxic. To laugh and love and play as much as I can.


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## Don M. (Jul 24, 2021)

Wisdom, to me, is trying to learn from my mistakes, in the past....and I've had my fair share.


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## StillLearning (Jul 24, 2021)

Don M. said:


> Wisdom, to me, is trying to learn from my mistakes, in the past....and I've had my fair share.


I totally agree with learning from my mistakes, unfortunately unless it’s hit me over the head, I seem to make the same mistakes over and over.


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## GAlady (Jul 24, 2021)

For me, being able to take in the facts, before speaking.


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## feywon (Jul 24, 2021)

StillLearning said:


> I totally agree with learning from my mistakes, unfortunately unless it’s hit me over the head, I seem to make the same mistakes over and over.


i did that mistake repetition thing with boyfriends and husbands (had 3 of those) until after my Divorce from #3 became final in Dec. 1999.  Nothing like starting the new Millennium off with some introspection.  Affirmed i would not get involved again until i sorted out the lessons of my problematic choices. i was already well past that age where they say a single woman's chances of finding love are less than that of being struck by lightning about which my daughter quipped 'With your track record, you'd probably prefer to hit be lightening!'  And she was right---i've been happily single ever since.  i don't regret my marriages i had twin sons by #1 and daughter by #2 and don't want to imagine my life without them.


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## feywon (Jul 24, 2021)

Shalimar said:


> To live my life with kindness and compassion whenever  possible. In difficult situations, to know when to try harder, and when to walk away. To never be complicit in any relationship which is toxic. To laugh and love and play as much as I can.


All good ones!


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## JustBonee (Jul 24, 2021)

Wisdom =   a collection of life experiences,    and how they were handled and learned from  .....


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## timoc (Jul 24, 2021)

Wisdom, is knowing that you wished your life away when you were young, and now wished that you hadn't. 

Go and sit in the corner with the dunces hat on, Tim.


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## feywon (Jul 24, 2021)

Paco Dennis said:


> Maybe how we think of wisdom is a "goal" we all wish to obtain. It probably includes empathy, understanding, helping others, to not be caught with our pants down, don't cross the road without looking both ways , don't trust "back stabbers"...etc. Many folk find their wisdom in religion, others in philosophy, others in in tried and true methods of doing things, from their best friends, etc....
> 
> I am curious what comes to your mind when you ponder what wisdom means to you?


What most are saying about 'lessons' is part of it for me. Shalimar's response come closer to my feelings about 'wisdom'. Being wise is about sometimes putting compassion and kindness above sharing what you've learned. 1) even if someone is going thru same basic issues you once did, they are not exactly the same as you, haven't had same support or challenges so solutions that work for you might not work for them. 2) Sometimes the best thing you can do for someone struggling with a life circumstance is really listen, and ask 'what can i do to help?' 
Being smart is knowing 'what' to say, but wisdom is about knowing when your saying it will be most effective.


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## StillLearning (Jul 24, 2021)

timoc said:


> Wisdom, is knowing that you wished your life away when you were young, and now wished that you hadn't.
> 
> Go and sit in the corner with the dunces hat on, Tim.


You are not the only one. My mother used to say to me all the time, You are wishing your life away.


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## Cameron (Jul 24, 2021)

I often go back to Marcus Aurelius's Meditations.  A wise Roman Emperor.   For me wisdom is learning to with with what is and within that.


Life is short. That’s all there is to say. Get what you can from the present – thoughtfully, justly. Marcus Aurelius

To live a good life: We have the potential for it. If we can learn to be indifferent to what makes no difference. Marcus Aurelius


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## fmdog44 (Jul 24, 2021)

The ability to become a senior.


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## horseless carriage (Jul 24, 2021)

Wisdom is knowing that a tomato is a fruit but you wouldn't put it in your fruit salad.


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## StillLearning (Jul 24, 2021)

Cameron said:


> I often go back to Marcus Aurelius's Meditations.  A wise Roman Emperor.   For me wisdom is learning to with with what is and within that.
> 
> 
> Life is short. That’s all there is to say. Get what you can from the present – thoughtfully, justly. Marcus Aurelius
> ...


I just read a few of his quotes. Thank you for bringing that to our attention. I’ve really enjoyed so far.


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## Judycat (Jul 24, 2021)

Listening more and talking less. Also editing my advice and opinions around the people I care about.


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## helenbacque (Jul 24, 2021)

Wisdom is a combination of basic intelligence, common sense and lessons learned by living.  It is generally acquired through ageing but occasionally a young person will present as an 'old soul'.  Education can help but wisdom cannot be learned from a book.


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## Knight (Jul 24, 2021)

Bonnie said:


> Wisdom =   a collection of life experiences,    and how they were handled and learned from  .....


Concise & my thought on this too.


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## Gaer (Jul 24, 2021)

Maybe trickles from mouths of masters?
Since the thinking mind is in the realm of relativity, which can be erroneous,  it would have to be the merging of the highest levels of thought with the heart of the soul, which is attuned with the absolute being.  The brain/heart connection is a thinking, feeling coupling which I refer to as wisdom.  It's beyond intelligence and discernment, even perception.  It merges with the tenderness, LOVE and understanding of the soul for profound knowledge.
That's my take on it!


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## Irwin (Jul 24, 2021)

Choose your fights carefully.
Be the star of your own life. You are not here to live up to other people's expectations.
Take naps.


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## Chet (Jul 24, 2021)

I have gained wisdom over the years by experience yet I will still do something stupid at times. Always learning I guess.


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## Gary O' (Jul 24, 2021)

Now that were seniors, what do think "Wisdom" is?​Interesting replies
Most are obvious

Get old enough, some wisdom is garnered

I've always lived in the future....missed some things

When living in the mountains, I learned one important facet of wisdom


...and put some words to a favorite pic of mine;


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## horseless carriage (Jul 24, 2021)

Knowledge is knowing that Aunt Marg felt hurt and vulnerable, wisdom is knowing that she can't be coaxed back, best learn the lesson before other valued members leave through similar circumstances.


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## Llynn (Jul 24, 2021)

Knowledge is knowing what to say. Wisdom is knowing when to say it.


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## horseless carriage (Jul 24, 2021)

Knowledge is knowing that WTF means: "Welcome to France." But only in English, otherwise it would be:
BEF, or, Bienvenue en France.


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## Paco Dennis (Jul 24, 2021)

Along the way most of us learn that the world doesn't revolve around "Me/your self". Maybe wisdom includes realizing that the world is more complex than what we desire it to be.


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## Paco Dennis (Jul 24, 2021)

Yep, when I heard this song by the great Kenny Rogers I learned all I need to know about "wisdom".


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## Irwin (Jul 24, 2021)

Life is all about your ability to deal with people effectively.


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## Mr. Ed (Jul 24, 2021)

Now that I am a senior wisdom, is wondering what wisdom was.


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## Shalimar (Jul 24, 2021)

horseless carriage said:


> Knowledge is knowing that Aunt Marg felt hurt and vulnerable, wisdom is knowing that she can't be coaxed back, best learn the lesson before other valued members leave through similar circumstances.


Excellent advice. Sadly, Ruthanne, Marci, Asp, and other valued members have already left, either as a result of  personal attacks, or the unpleasant atmosphere which permeated the site. Hopefully, learning has taken place.


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## Lewkat (Jul 24, 2021)

Wisdom, I guess is a composite of all the above answers and it is also learning from our mistakes.  I learned that everytime I made a mistake I never did it again.  We teach our children that there are choices in life and when a wrong one is made, the wise child never makes it again.  It is also the ability to think logically and pass on our thoughts without preaching.  And, above all, it is introspection of what has transpired in years past and still have the ability to love ourselves and others despite the bumps in the road.


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## officerripley (Jul 24, 2021)

Shalimar said:


> Excellent advice. Sadly, Ruthanne, Marci, Asp, and other valued members have already left, either as a result of  personal attacks, or the unpleasant atmosphere which permeated the site. Hopefully, learning has taken place.


Were the attacks all from the same member?


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## Warrigal (Jul 24, 2021)

I was once described as a "wisdom figure" at my workplace. It referred to my years of service and experience in many different roles and my willingness to nurture younger members of staff.

I have been out of the workplace for more than 25 years and now wisdom involves me stepping back and letting my grandchildren get on with their lives with my full support but without delivering any little homilies. They know they are secure in my love and I know that I am loved by each one of them. My wisdom manifests in love and trust.  I have learned that these two qualities are the sure foundations of all human relationships. To grow love and trust in others we must risk loving and trusting even though we may be hurt as a consequence. To be fully alive, and to help others to live fully, we must accept the painfulness of life and keep on living. This is my wisdom at this point in my life.


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## Gary O' (Jul 24, 2021)

Shalimar said:


> Excellent advice. Sadly, Ruthanne, Marci, Asp, and other valued members have already left, either as a result of personal attacks, or the unpleasant atmosphere which permeated the site. Hopefully, learning has taken place.


*Knowledge* is learning of these things

*Wisdom* is knowing how to handle that knowledge


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## Shalimar (Jul 24, 2021)

officerripley said:


> Were the attacks all from the same member?


No, they were not.


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## Mr. Ed (Jul 25, 2021)

Wisdom is a term used to describe an accumulation of acquired knowledge and understanding. What happens to what have we learned after life as it is know? Is wisdom stored in a bank for future use? Who is in charge of wisdom? 
Is wisdom like a grant that must used for further endorsements? 
Is wisdom universal, everyone has some degree of wisdom.
Is wisdom simply a network of memories? Memory is the major component for wisdom. However, wisdom is learned skills acquired through living by observation and   trail/error. Wisdom is knowing by experience applied to daily living skills.


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## feywon (Jul 25, 2021)

Gary O' said:


> Now that were seniors, what do think "Wisdom" is?​Interesting replies
> Most are obvious
> 
> Get old enough, some wisdom is garnered
> ...


Beautiful! What mountains do you live in?  I'm at southern end of the Rockies in NM,  the Jemez Ridge is my eastern horizon.


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## officerripley (Jul 25, 2021)

Only coming at this from the offspring's side (namely the daughter or stepdaughter of 5 elderly parents), but wisdom is knowing that, at least some of the time, not going gentle into that good night is making life a living hell for your offspring.


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## Warrigal (Jul 25, 2021)

officerripley said:


> Only coming at this from the offspring's side (namely the daughter or stepdaughter of 5 elderly parents), but wisdom is knowing that, at least some of the time, not going gentle into that good night is making life a living hell for your offspring.


When my time comes I shall accept the inevitable. I will enter into that good night gently, with gratitude for the life I was given. I do not wish to live forever. That is my decision and my wisdom.


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## Verisure (Jul 25, 2021)

Wisdom is the realization that you know more than anyone else and that what they do know is most probably wrong.


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## Verisure (Jul 25, 2021)

Gary O' said:


> When living in the mountains, I learned one important facet of wisdom
> ...and put some words to a favorite pic of mine;





feywon said:


> Beautiful! What mountains do you live in?  I'm at southern end of the Rockies in NM,  the Jemez Ridge is my eastern horizon.


I lived on Star Route in Tijeras Canyon for a spell.


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## Nathan (Jul 25, 2021)

horseless carriage said:


> Knowledge is knowing that Aunt Marg felt hurt and vulnerable, wisdom is knowing that she can't be coaxed back, best learn the lesson before other valued members leave through similar circumstances.


I missed the particulars of what happened. Didn't Aunt Marg just become a moderator?


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## horseless carriage (Jul 25, 2021)

Nathan said:


> I missed the particulars of what happened. Didn't Aunt Marg just become a moderator?


Sorry Nathan, I too missed whatever it was, but as Shalimar pointed out, Ruthanne, Marci, Asp, and other valued members have also left.
Aunt Marg loved this forum so I know that she is feeling the loss of her friends here, as much as we are missing her and the others. 

To you all who have left please look in from time to time, no need to post, just stop by to keep up with our musings. You are all cherished and sadly missed. The loss of those members teaches us all a lesson. Remember this, if you are verbally attacked on here, ignore it. You don't have to attend every argument that you are invited to. Remember also, you can't start a fight in an empty room, although there's some that I know who could give it a good go.


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## Verisure (Jul 25, 2021)

horseless carriage said:


> ..... Remember this, if you are verbally attacked on here, ignore it. *You don't have to attend every argument that you are invited to*. .....


Hear, hear!


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## hollydolly (Jul 25, 2021)

horseless carriage said:


> Sorry Nathan, I too missed whatever it was, but as Shalimar pointed out, Ruthanne, Marci, Asp, and other valued members have also left.
> Aunt Marg loved this forum so I know that she is feeling the loss of her friends here, as much as we are missing her and the others.
> 
> To you all who have left please look in from time to time, no need to post, just stop by to keep up with our musings. You are all cherished and sadly missed. The loss of those members teaches us all a lesson. Remember this, if you are verbally attacked on here, ignore it. You don't have to attend every argument that you are invited to. Remember also, you can't start a fight in an empty room, although there's some that I know who could give it a good go.


Asp left because he was bored with the content... Ruthanne has not left...I just had a Pm from her a couple or 3 days ago...

Things get so exaggerated on this forum.. always from the same people as well....

All forums  have a never ending revolution of members..  that's the way of forums..

I've been attacked on several occasions, and had trouble caused for me behind the scenes by people who are crying and sobbing over the departure of AM...  so hypocrites aplenty here


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## StillLearning (Jul 25, 2021)

officerripley said:


> Only coming at this from the offspring's side (namely the daughter or stepdaughter of 5 elderly parents), but wisdom is knowing that, at least some of the time, not going gentle into that good night is making life a living hell for your offspring.


In case nobody tells you, you are awesome for all that you do. Seriously!
This is one of my worries. My daughter has enough to do dealing with juggling everything her busy life gives her.


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## horseless carriage (Jul 25, 2021)

hollydolly said:


> Asp left because he was bored with the content... Ruthanne has not left...I just had a Pm from her a couple or 3 days ago...
> 
> Things get so exaggerated on this forum.. always from the same people as well....
> 
> ...


Holly, I am still a newbie, both to this forum and to posting publicly in general. But what I see, or perhaps perceive is that with forums we only have the written word to communicate. In life, when we make a faux pas, say something out of order or upset someone unintentionally, we apologise with much more than words. It may be a raised hand palm as an acknowledging gesture of apology, sometimes we use a facial expression and on other occasions it might be some other sort of body language or subtle nuance. None of which is helpful when you only have the written word. That's why I suggest ignoring a confrontational style post.

Sorry that you have been on the wrong end of verbal abuse, so glad that you decided to stick around.


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## hollydolly (Jul 25, 2021)

horseless carriage said:


> Holly, I am still a newbie, both to this forum and to posting publicly in general. But what I see, or perhaps perceive is that with forums we only have the written word to communicate. In life, when we make a faux pas, say something out of order or upset someone unintentionally, we apologise with much more than words. It may be a raised hand palm as an acknowledging gesture of apology, sometimes we use a facial expression and on other occasions it might be some other sort of body language or subtle nuance. None of which is helpful when you only have the written word. That's why I suggest ignoring a confrontational style post.
> 
> Sorry that you have been on the wrong end of verbal abuse, so glad that you decided to stick around.


HC , thanks for your kind words.

I've been a member  here 7 and a half years , I've seen many people come and go, for all sorts of reasons, I've seen friends fall out, I've seen members banned for unwarranted attacks.. I've even known quite a few die ( may they R.I.P).. ..I've been a member of many other forums too and seen many people come and go...  and yes the reason I'm still here is because by and large I ignore the trouble caused by those who do it because they _can , _ but more annoying are those people who have been known to cause trouble for people in the past  , now bewailing the fact that one of their friends has had the same treatment.. that's hypocrisy at it's best


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## Gary O' (Jul 25, 2021)

feywon said:


> Beautiful! What mountains do you live in? I'm at southern end of the Rockies in NM, the Jemez Ridge is my eastern horizon.


Our cabin is a few miles east of Crater Lake

The little known Mt Yamsay is what we see from the cabin window;


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## helenbacque (Jul 25, 2021)

horseless carriage said:


> Holly, I am still a newbie, both to this forum and to posting publicly in general. But what I see, or perhaps perceive is that with forums we onlyExa have the written word to communicate. In life, when we make a faux pas, say something out of order or upset someone unintentionally, we apologise with much more than words. It may be a raised hand palm as an acknowledging gesture of apology, sometimes we use a facial expression and on other occasions it might be some other sort of body language or subtle nuance. None of which is helpful when you only have the written word. That's why I suggest ignoring a confrontational style post.
> 
> Sorry that you have been on the wrong end of verbal abuse, so glad that you decided to stick around.


Exactly.  And attempts at humor or jokes or sarcasm are often misinterpreted without the benefit of body language or facial expression.  Adding an emoji to convey intention does not work because they are too small for many to see the details.


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## officerripley (Jul 25, 2021)

Ignoring a confrontational post is easier said than done for some of us. If your feelings have been hurt by someone, they've been hurt; when something hurts, it hurts, and all the "oh, just ignore it, don't let it bother you, etc." in the world won't change that. I wish it would change it, but in spite of all the best efforts in the world, it doesn't change it. At. All.


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## officerripley (Jul 25, 2021)

StillLearning said:


> In case nobody tells you, you are awesome for all that you do. Seriously!
> This is one of my worries. My daughter has enough to do dealing with juggling everything her busy life gives her.


Thanks, SL!


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## StarSong (Jul 25, 2021)

officerripley said:


> Ignoring a confrontational post is easier said than done for some of us. If your feelings have been hurt by someone, they've been hurt; when something hurts, it hurts, and all the "oh, just ignore it, don't let it bother you, etc." in the world won't change that. I wish it would change it, but in spite of all the best efforts in the world, it doesn't change it. At. All.


When a moderator is the source of confrontational and insulting posts it doesn't make the forum a welcoming place.  

More than one SF member was investigating other forums a month ago.


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## Irwin (Jul 25, 2021)

StarSong said:


> When a moderator is the source of confrontational and insulting posts it doesn't make the forum a welcoming place.
> 
> More than one SF member was investigating other forums a month ago.


It's a damn shame when an a-hole gets into a position of power. I don't know who the moderator is you're talking about, but obviously, if that person is behaving in that manor, he or she shouldn't be a moderator. Or a member of this forum.

I researched senior forums before joining this one, and I joined this one because it's generally civil in here — primarily because political discussions are not allowed and because it's well moderated. There are always people who are going to test the boundaries and whine that their "rights" are being violated if they're not allowed to insult other members. We don't have to deal with them if we don't want to; there's the "ignore" feature that removes their posts from view.

The other senior forum I found that was fairly busy allowed political discussions and as expected, jackasses seemed to dominate the forum. Ten or 15 years ago, I would have joined right in, but one thing I've learned in my senior years is that you can't reason with the unreasonable. That's the wisdom that I've gained over the years and how I conduct my life now.


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## horseless carriage (Jul 25, 2021)

officerripley said:


> Ignoring a confrontational post is easier said than done for some of us. If your feelings have been hurt by someone, they've been hurt; when something hurts, it hurts, and all the "oh, just ignore it, don't let it bother you, etc." in the world won't change that. I wish it would change it, but in spite of all the best efforts in the world, it doesn't change it. At. All.


The internet is a defining factor of modern society. But despite all the good that the internet has brought to us, there are people who use it with malicious intent. And just as bullying has existed since the dawn of time, virtual bullying has existed since the beginning of the internet. 
You are right, ignoring verbal abuse doesn't change it, but the alternative is to engage with the bully, and that is exactly what they want. Therefore, if you ignore their taunts, you are starving them of the pathetic pleasure they get from there cyber bullying. 

I would add that this is what I would do, just switch off and let the thread or whatever caused the unpleasantness in the first place, is forgotten. But it's not for me to tell anyone what to do and I sincerely hope that it didn't come across as my intention.


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## Gary O' (Jul 25, 2021)

Shalimar said:


> Sadly, Ruthanne, Marci, Asp, and other valued members have already left, either as a result of personal attacks, or the unpleasant atmosphere which permeated the site.





hollydolly said:


> Asp left because he was bored with the content... Ruthanne has not left...I just had a Pm from her a couple or 3 days ago...
> 
> Things get so exaggerated on this forum.. always from the same people as well....


Funny.....not  *HA HA* funny, but oddly funny, that this is a wisdom thread, yet purported exoduses have occurred due to some troll or mean member's comments...

And, turns out, *THAT* is even rumor

And all this from seniors?

C'mon, git yer grips back

Y'all haven't led that sheltered of a life.....have ya?


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## Nathan (Jul 25, 2021)

Irwin said:


> one thing I've learned in my senior years is that you can't reason with the unreasonable.


I've recently come to embrace that view, not worth the aggravation of engaging those who doggedly peddle fallacies.


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## hollydolly (Jul 25, 2021)

Gary O' said:


> Funny.....not  *HA HA* funny, but oddly funny, that this is a wisdom thread, yet purported exoduses have occurred due to some troll or mean member's comments...
> 
> And, turns out, *THAT* is even rumor
> 
> ...


Exactly


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## horseless carriage (Jul 25, 2021)

Gary O' said:


> Funny.....not  *HA HA* funny, but oddly funny, that this is a wisdom thread, yet purported exoduses have occurred due to some troll or mean member's comments...
> 
> And, turns out, *THAT* is even rumor
> 
> ...


First time that I heard y'all, I thought that the waitress said yell. Then I went and made a monumental faux pas. Americans like cold beer, so cold that it's almost forming ice crystals. So when the waitress went to chill my glass with ice cubes before tipping the ice away and pouring the beer, I asked her to forget the ice cubes. "You like warm beer!" She said. A kick in my shin told me to shut up and put up.


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## helenbacque (Jul 25, 2021)

Sometimes wisdom is knowing when to speak up and when to shut up.


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## Warrigal (Jul 25, 2021)

Verisure said:


> Wisdom is the realization that you know more than anyone else and that what they do know is most probably wrong.


Some would call that hubris.


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## Lewkat (Jul 25, 2021)

Wisdom, simply put, is, common sense.


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## JonDouglas (Jul 25, 2021)

I would think there are enough definitions of and incantations on wisdom on this and other forums to keep seniors busy and out of trouble for days on end and to that end I will not add another.


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## Warrigal (Jul 25, 2021)

officerripley said:


> Ignoring a confrontational post is easier said than done for some of us. If your feelings have been hurt by someone, they've been hurt; when something hurts, it hurts, and all the "oh, just ignore it, don't let it bother you, etc." in the world won't change that. I wish it would change it, but in spite of all the best efforts in the world, it doesn't change it. At. All.


I've found that when something gets under my guard and I am feeling hurt, I take time out to lick my wounds (metaphorically, of course) and after a while I am able to return to society, including a forum. 

In the past, when someone has really irritated me I have put them on ignore. I still see that they have posted but not what they posted unless I choose to. After a couple of weeks I remove the ignore status and they never know anything about it. On one or two occasions when I have lost control and posted something bordering on nasty I have banned myself from posting for two weeks to teach myself a lesson.

As someone said earlier, we don't have to engage if we don't want to. 
I choose not to engage most of the time.
Is this wisdom?


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## peramangkelder (Jul 25, 2021)




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## bingo (Jul 25, 2021)

i know the difference between a  mule's  tail
and a pump handle....very important  wisdom 
laughter is the best  medicine


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## Joe Smith (Jul 25, 2021)

Learning to put on my trousers one leg at a time.


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## Irwin (Jul 25, 2021)

Warrigal said:


> I've found that when something gets under my guard and I am feeling hurt, I take time out to lick my wounds (metaphorically, of course) and after a while I am able to return to society, including a forum.
> 
> In the past, when someone has really irritated me I have put them on ignore. I still see that they have posted but not what they posted unless I choose to. After a couple of weeks I remove the ignore status and they never know anything about it. *On one or two occasions when I have lost control and posted something bordering on nasty I have banned myself from posting for two weeks to teach myself a lesson.*
> 
> ...


I've learned to put annoying people on ignore _before _I post a nasty response. I love a good debate, but I'm not into name calling.


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## Shalimar (Jul 25, 2021)

Ruthanne has just  sent me a pm. She  reiterated the fact she has left SF, and why. She also gave me permission to inform people they may contact her via pm.


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## Verisure (Jul 26, 2021)

officerripley said:


> Were the attacks all from the same member?


I am led to believe that our Marg felt she was being unfairly treated by 3 or 4 members in particular.


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## hollydolly (Jul 26, 2021)

Got a PM from Ruthanne,   she has some health problems, and feels that its not helped by being stressed over some posts on the forum , so she's taking time out to heal which is why she's not posted for 4 weeks ... and _ may_ return to post at a later date on threads which are not so stressful to her..

Get well Ruthanne...


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## JonDouglas (Jul 26, 2021)

Perhaps Ruthanne's leaving can serve to illustrate the wisdom of learning to back off from stressful situations. Knowing that stress can affect your immune system, internet forums can sometimes be "rough and tumble" places where ideas, egos and attitudes clash without the benefit of really knowing who's actually talking.  If a particular thread is starting to bother you, just back off, cool down and remember that it is just internet blather, not some serious life or death struggle or anything that has to directly affect you. 

As sites go, this one is well-mannered overall with only a few individuals who seem to have trouble tolerating those who don't share their views.  It is certainly not like a motorcycle forum I left years ago where offering your opinion on some feature or possible improvement could result in threats of bodily harm.


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## Gary O' (Jul 26, 2021)

JonDouglas said:


> *As sites go, this one is well-mannered overall* with only a few individuals who seem to have trouble tolerating those who don't share their views.


Yeah, that's my synopsis too.

It's *very *well mannered
And busy

It's why it's *thee* place to go

There *are* the occasional pot stirrers that seem to revel in negativity
Seems they love it when someone leaves, even if it's for a rest
But, there isn't a site that doesn't have them...at least on this planet

Still.....wish *they'd *give it a rest


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## Irwin (Jul 26, 2021)

"It is difficult to get a man to understand something, when his salary depends on his not understanding it."
— Upton Sinclair

You could substitute "sense of community" for "salary" and that would explain a lot of what we're seeing in our country today.


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## Pink Biz (Jul 30, 2021)




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