# Afraid to live and afraid to die,now what?



## Jane (Nov 4, 2016)

I feel sick with fear everyday.

I feel okay some of the day,but my emotions are all over the place.

I don't know how to fix my life.


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## SeaBreeze (Nov 4, 2016)

What are you so fearful of Jane?  Sorry to hear you're in such distress, but there's always hope to make things better.


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## Jane (Nov 4, 2016)

I'm afraid of hurting my daughter and son. They watched their Dad die almost 7 years ago and I don't want them to see me dead or dying.


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## Warrigal (Nov 4, 2016)

Jane, it sounds like you may be suffering from anxiety.
My husband was chronically in this state about 20 years ago.
You can and you must get professional help because if untreated it leads to chronic depression and thoughts of suicide.

It takes time but you can come out of it and once again live in the sunlight.


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## Jane (Nov 4, 2016)

Most likely I am depressed,but for a good reason and I would never kill myself,how would that be possible when I don't want to hurt my kids?

I don't know how to fix their lives and neither do they,I'm depressed because they are going no where in their lives and they don't know how to  fix their lives.


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## SeaBreeze (Nov 4, 2016)

My condolences for the loss of your husband Jane.  Many of us have had to watch our parents die, and it's always a sad thing of course, but with time we heal and cherish the memories of the good times shared throughout our lives. You shouldn't keep dwelling on your own demise, that will only keep you in a depressed state, and that doesn't help you or your children.

If you children are grown adults and are living on their own, you can't beat yourself up just because they are not doing as well as you'd like.  How many children do you have, and what ages?  Why do you say that each one is 'going nowhere'?  What's happening with them?


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## Warrigal (Nov 4, 2016)

Jane, I mean this kindly, but is it a feature of depression that the sufferer is unable to see any way out. People who try to help by offering advice become very frustrated because no matter what they offer it is always rebutted with reasons why it will not work. People soon switch off and stop listening. No progress can be made without professional medical help. 

I speak from experience. My husband seemed always to have something to worry about and he appeared to be going round and round in mental circles, never getting anywhere as if he was stuck in a groove and digging himself deeper with every circuit. Professional help from a psychologist and some medication from a psychiatrist did help him to change the patterns. Like everyone else, he was at first resistant to the idea of seeing specialists but they did help him.

Once the thinking becomes more positive it is possible to tackle life's problems in healthy and productive ways.

I wish you all the best and urge you to seek out the kind of help that will make a difference.


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## Vedaarya (Nov 5, 2016)

Warrigal said:


> Jane, I mean this kindly, but is it a feature of depression that the sufferer is unable to see any way out. People who try to help by offering advice become very frustrated because no matter what they offer it is always rebutted with reasons why it will not work. People soon switch off and stop listening. No progress can be made without professional medical help.
> 
> I speak from experience. My husband seemed always to have something to worry about and he appeared to be going round and round in mental circles, never getting anywhere as ifeper with every circuit. Professional help from a psychologist and some medication from a psychiatrist did help him to change the patterns. Like everyone else, he was at first resistant to the idea of seeing specialists but they did help him.
> 
> ...



Sometimes, it is thyroid illness that triggers depression. Some of my relatives and a friend suffer from Hashimoto illness, now they take the right doses of medicines and find that they can tackle their problems that seemed unsolvable earlier. Jane, I think you should follow Warrigal's advice and see a doctor. I wish you all the best too.


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## Carla (Nov 5, 2016)

There are some who become stuck in grief. I think it's time to get your life back, Jane. You deserve to be able to move ahead with your life and you can do it. If you have flashbacks or whatever is troubling, talk to a psychologist and allow them to help you get past this. It may not be easy but it is so worth it!


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## Capt Lightning (Nov 5, 2016)

I think that many of us get that way sometimes.  It reminds me of the song "Old Man River" ...


I gets weary and sick of tryin'
I'm tired of livin' and scared of dyin'
But Old Man River, he just keeps rollin' along

The world just carries on as usual and it's  easy to feel that nobody cares or understands your situation.
But there are people who understand and can help, so I hope you will seek them out and get yourself back on track.


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## Uncontrolable (Aug 8, 2017)

Jane said:


> I feel sick with fear everyday.
> 
> I feel okay some of the day,but my emotions are all over the place.
> 
> I don't know how to fix my life.



This is an old post.  But if you are still there perhaps I might give you some suggestions.  You should see a therapist who could prescribe some medication.  Be patient is might take some time to find the right med.

Here is what I know about God.  If there is no God then you have nothing to worry about.  Your pain will die with you.

If there is a God and I believe there is, you will pass into a state of shear bliss.  No pain.  No worry.  

You see, either way you will be OK.  How do I know this?  Because I have communicated with God, or an Angel.


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