# Things I Miss Most As A Retired Aging Senior



## Lon (Jul 12, 2017)

I have had a great life so far and accept the fact that I can't do many of the things that I was able to do in my first 26 years of retirement.

Next to my profound loss of hearing I miss SIMPLE AFFECTION, not sex, not love, just the affection that you can't get from a dog cat or other pet.


----------



## Falcon (Jul 12, 2017)

Lon,  First you have to love in order to BE  loved.


----------



## SeaBreeze (Jul 12, 2017)

Lon, aren't there some single ladies where you live who you can socialize with and maybe become close to?


----------



## exwisehe (Jul 12, 2017)

Lon, try going to church.  There are lots of affectionate persons there, but the greatest affection is from above.


----------



## Lon (Jul 12, 2017)

Falcon said:


> Lon,  First you have to love in order to BE  loved.



You are right Falc. I was trying to separate affection from love, but you can't do it.


----------



## Camper6 (Jul 12, 2017)

Falcon said:


> Lon,  First you have to love in order to BE  loved.



Hah! You first.:love_heart:


----------



## Lon (Jul 12, 2017)

SeaBreeze said:


> Lon, aren't there some single ladies where you live who you can socialize with and maybe become close to?


Yes there are quite a number and once I get my hearing problem taken care of I will pursue them. My profound hearing loss has made this most difficult.


----------



## Camper6 (Jul 12, 2017)

Lon said:


> You are right Falc. I was trying to separate affection from love, but you can't do it.



I thnk you can. I might like a person or a friend but there's no way I can love them like someone you marry and spend the rest of your life together. I know where you are coming from. I'm in the same boat.

I do not think at my age I can now make the same commitment .


----------



## Lon (Jul 12, 2017)

exwisehe said:


> Lon, try going to church.  There are lots of affectionate persons there, but the greatest affection is from above.



Thank you for your suggestion but I am a atheist and have never enjoyed church.


----------



## terry123 (Jul 12, 2017)

Lon said:


> You are right Falc. I was trying to separate affection from love, but you can't do it.


 No, you can't separate it and I miss everything about a close loving relationship but I am hopeful I will find it again.  Not interested in marriage but I miss the closeness.


----------



## dearimee (Jul 17, 2017)

#1on my list is physical strength. I so miss yard work, painting my own rooms, and even washing my car. And no offers whatsoever!


----------



## Aurora (Jul 27, 2017)

Lon,
     I agree and sympathize. I miss affection also I am single, no GF. Even a simple kiss.
All my life I have separated love from affection with my dates. Most men can do this easily but not so much women.
Some do and some don't . They need more romance and getting to know the man. You may find a lady
to go out with, but she will probably be coy, reserved in her affection, only polite...and taken aback by much touching
at first. Sad when the only touching is from nurses on duty!


----------



## terry123 (Aug 3, 2017)

Aurora said:


> Lon,
> I agree and sympathize. I miss affection also I am single, no GF. Even a simple kiss.
> All my life I have separated love from affection with my dates. Most men can do this easily but not so much women.
> Some do and some don't . They need more romance and getting to know the man. You may find a lady
> ...


Theres nothing wrong with getting to know a person first before being intimate.  I would enjoy kisses with someone while getting to know them.  But I would have to be attracted to them also.


----------



## RadishRose (Aug 3, 2017)

I also miss male companionship at times. Just companionship. Also family. Being an only child and having had only one child myself, it gets lonely. My grandson lives with me but he's a young man, works full time and has his own activities. (as it should be.)


----------



## Lara (Aug 4, 2017)

I miss conversation but I drop by the political forum here and that effectively cures me lol. My kids are always calling and texting too so that helps. I adore my sweet little pup. She's so lovable. Lon, I can't remember why you don't want a cat, and I know you can't exercise a dog enough, so I was at the pet store the other day and there was this baby bearded dragon lizard holding onto the front of the cashier's shirt. Her hands were free. 

I thought of you as I asked her questions. She said he was very loyal to her and and easy to care for. All the while, this lizard's eyes followed her and I as if human...like a praying mantis does. Very intriguing. But she did say you have to handle them daily when they're young so they get use to it or they might bite. Kind of like some birds. Personally, I prefer something soft and fluffy


----------



## Uncontrolable (Aug 4, 2017)

exwisehe said:


> Lon, try going to church.  There are lots of affectionate persons there, but the greatest affection is from above.



I have strong spiritual beliefs, but I haven't attended a church since I was a kid.  Maybe I should.  Just for the hell of it.


----------



## Uncontrolable (Aug 4, 2017)

Lara said:


> I miss conversation but I drop by the political forum here and that effectively cures me lol. My kids are always calling and texting too so that helps. I adore my sweet little pup. She's so lovable. Lon, I can't remember why you don't want a cat, and I know you can't exercise a dog enough, so I was at the pet store the other day and there was this baby bearded dragon lizard holding onto the front of the cashier's shirt. Her hands were free.
> 
> I thought of you as I asked her questions. She said he was very loyal to her and and easy to care for. All the while, this lizard's eyes followed her and I as if human...like a praying mantis does. Very intriguing. But she did say you have to handle them daily when they're young so they get use to it or they might bite. Kind of like some birds. Personally, I prefer something soft and fluffy


Lay nude, belly up on a flat rock till you feel like running into the forest.  Or you might try a spiritual discussion group that actually has meetings.  What I miss is fellowship.  I like a mixed meeting because of the difference in perspective the ladies bring.  I happen to attend AA.  Our discussions are about how to improve our spiritual lives.  I have met plenty of folks who attend meetings because they get drawn to the program.  They are not alcoholics.  I met a priest once who attended, said the meetings were more spiritual than attending mass.  Oh well, you probably already know what I mean.


----------



## Uncontrolable (Aug 4, 2017)

terry123 said:


> No, you can't separate it and I miss everything about a close loving relationship but I am hopeful I will find it again.  Not interested in marriage but I miss the closeness.


Do you think you can be with someone without chemistry?  I had a lover who looked like she walked out of the pages of Play Boy.  Intelligent, kind, loving.  It was nothing for us to have sex for a couple of hours.  Yet, I left her.  One day I saw her standing at the sink, doing dishes and realized I did not love her.  I could not in good conscience stay.  I felt she deserved better.  I have come to believe that the woman should do the choosing.  Women know who they like.  Sometimes the man feels it too.  Yet, chemistry is not a logical thing.  Women have a better sense for it, if they are not drawn to bad boys.  Who am i to say.  i agree.  I miss the closeness and companionship and at this stage of my life perhaps I should not expect more.


----------



## terry123 (Aug 4, 2017)

Uncontrolable said:


> Do you think you can be with someone without chemistry?  I had a lover who looked like she walked out of the pages of Play Boy.  Intelligent, kind, loving.  It was nothing for us to have sex for a couple of hours.  Yet, I left her.  One day I saw her standing at the sink, doing dishes and realized I did not love her.  I could not in good conscience stay.  I felt she deserved better.  I have come to believe that the woman should do the choosing.  Women know who they like.  Sometimes the man feels it too.  Yet, chemistry is not a logical thing.  Women have a better sense for it, if they are not drawn to bad boys.  Who am i to say.  i agree.  I miss the closeness and companionship and at this stage of my life perhaps I should not expect more.


I expect to have the chemistry. I may be older but I think you can have the chemistry, closeness and love. Never had the interest in the bad boys, figured they were too much trouble.  Maybe I should have allowed myself one but I played it safe.


----------



## Uncontrolable (Aug 4, 2017)

terry123 said:


> I expect to have the chemistry. I may be older but I think you can have the chemistry, closeness and love. Never had the interest in the bad boys, figured they were too much trouble.  Maybe I should have allowed myself one but I played it safe.


I beat up on the bad boys, but I am a little jealous too.  These guys have a little charisma, self confidence and a motorcycle.  They carry a sense of adventure about them and women, I think, feel safe when they are with guys like that.  I had my muscle beach days.  Now I am more like an adult child.  I love to make people laugh.  I am likely to be up at 5am just to listen to the quiet before the world gets going.  I will talk your ears off about most anything.  I also know how to listen.  Call me at 980-236-...;  God I sound like an advertisement.  Thats enough.


----------



## Jackie22 (Aug 4, 2017)

....not having the physical strength that I once had....driving in heavy traffic in the city and at night and not being able to travel as much as I used to.


----------



## Uncontrolable (Aug 4, 2017)

Jackie22 said:


> ....not having the physical strength that I once had....driving in heavy traffic in the city and at night and not being able to travel as much as I used to.


Me too.  Just lost my driving license due to macular degeneration.  I have copd and even though I quit smoking I can't walk more than a few blocks without tiring.  Hope that will get better with time.  Can't exercise because I just can't move fast or far enough to make a difference.  I'm fat.  Last year I was bowling but hurt my left hamstring and have not been able to bowl since.  I am able to paint, but in Tucson it is very hard to paint outside.  The paint drys much to fast in the dry air.  Since I moved in with my daughter, god bless her, I no longer have a studio to work in.  If there was a passing lion she would eat me first because I am the weakest in the herd.  If my humor bone goes I will be in deep trouble.


----------



## Jackie22 (Aug 4, 2017)

Uncontrolable said:


> Me too.  Just lost my driving license due to macular degeneration.  I have copd and even though I quit smoking I can't walk more than a few blocks without tiring.  Hope that will get better with time.  Can't exercise because I just can't move fast or far enough to make a difference.  I'm fat.  Last year I was bowling but hurt my left hamstring and have not been able to bowl since.  I am able to paint, but in Tucson it is very hard to paint outside.  The paint drys much to fast in the dry air.  Since I moved in with my daughter, god bless her, I no longer have a studio to work in.  If there was a passing lion she would eat me first because I am the weakest in the herd.  If my humor bone goes I will be in deep trouble.



Uncontrolable, I too have macular degeneration, mine is still in early stage, hasn't affected sight too bad, yet....do you take the supplement they recommend. if so has it helped?  Think it is called Alred.....anyway, good luck and hang in there.


----------



## Roadwarrior (Aug 4, 2017)

Miss-physical abilities, yes.  Don't miss the Sunday night dumps, dress code, catering to the man or time schedules.


----------



## Uncontrolable (Aug 4, 2017)

Jackie22 said:


> Uncontrolable, I too have macular degeneration, mine is still in early stage, hasn't affected sight too bad, yet....do you take the supplement they recommend. if so has it helped?  Think it is called Alred.....anyway, good luck and hang in there.


I took the injections and the supplement for 4 to 5 years.  I got progressively worst, perhaps because of my smoking.  Finally, I grew to hate the monthly injections.  They worked to some degree, but they are wrong about the pain.  The injections caused me enough discomfort that I finally refused the treatment.  I can still see in my left eye, but the vision in my right is obscured.  I am not afraid to be blind.  The good news is I can see around corners, just not straight ahead.  I love talking books, which I now receive through blind services.  I have some eye strain pain and occasional burning in both eyes.   The good news for you is that the injections might save your sight for a long time.


----------



## Jackie22 (Aug 4, 2017)

Uncontrolable said:


> I took the injections and the supplement for 4 to 5 years.  I got progressively worst, perhaps because of my smoking.  Finally, I grew to hate the monthly injections.  They worked to some degree, but they are wrong about the pain.  The injections caused me enough discomfort that I finally refused the treatment.  I can still see in my left eye, but the vision in my right is obscured.  I am not afraid to be blind.  The good news is I can see around corners, just not straight ahead.  I love talking books, which I now receive through blind services.  I have some eye strain pain and occasional burning in both eyes.   The good news for you is that the injections might save your sight for a long time.



Thanks for the reply and tip on the books.


----------



## Uncontrolable (Aug 4, 2017)

Jackie22 said:


> Thanks for the reply and tip on the books.


Happy to be of service.


----------



## Uncontrolable (Aug 4, 2017)

Uncontrolable said:


> Happy to be of service.


Made mistake.  You won't be able to receive talking books unless your Eye Dr. declares you blind.


----------



## Trade (Aug 4, 2017)

I was an only child. My old man died when I was 9 and he wasn't around much when he was alive. After that my single mom was at work most of the time and I was a latch key kid. So I'm pretty much used to being by myself. Whenever I take the Myers Briggs Personality test I bury the needle on the Introvert scale. So being alone doesn't bother me that much. In fact, I usually prefer  it.


----------



## Uncontrolable (Aug 4, 2017)

Trade said:


> I was an only child. My old man died when I was 9 and he wasn't around much when he was alive. After that my single mom was at work most of the time and I was a latch key kid. So I'm pretty much used to being by myself. Whenever I take the Myers Briggs Personality test I bury the needle on the Introvert scale. So being alone doesn't bother me that much. In fact, I usually prefer  it.


Did you know that Myers Briggs was a response to Carl Jungs theorizing about archetypes.  There is more than one theorist who believe that we live through various archetypes.  Your response to the Myers Briggs may be kind of a self full filling prophesy.  Meyers Briggs says you are a loner so you will act like a loner.  I was a loner because I had a fear of people.  I have since learned not to be a loner.  Meyers Briggs tagged me just the same as you.  However, people change over time.  Your major archetype might be different now.  We, I believe, can always change if we want to change badly enough.  If you want to know more about archetypes it is right there on the internet.  I learned a great truth in one of my 1st AA meetings.  Take your ass and your mind will follow.  I can show you how to prove that if you like.


----------



## Trade (Aug 4, 2017)

Uncontrolable said:


> Your response to the Myers Briggs may be kind of a self full filling prophesy.  Meyers Briggs says you are a loner so you will act like a loner.



Doubt it Dude. I was a loner way before I ever heard of Jung or Myers Briggs. 



Uncontrolable said:


> I was a loner because I had a fear of people.



When I was young that was the case. It no longer is. 



Uncontrolable said:


> I have since  learned not to be a loner.  Meyers Briggs tagged me just the same as  you.  However, people change over time.  Your major archetype might be  different now.  We, I believe, can always change if we want to change  badly enough.



I have no desire to change. I'm cool with the way I am.


----------



## Uncontrolable (Aug 4, 2017)

Trade said:


> Doubt it Dude. I was a loner way before I ever heard of Jung or Myers Briggs.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I wish you nothing but happiness and love.  If I seemed to be "throwing" things at you I sincerely apologize.  Sometimes my mouth overloads my donkey.  By the way my Meyers Briggs showed I was a Campaigner.  Hit me right on the head.  I happen to believe in Dr. Jungs work.  He had some very profound ideas.


----------



## Trade (Aug 5, 2017)

Uncontrolable said:


> I happen to believe in Dr. Jungs work.  He had some very profound ideas.



Me too. Ever since I saw Full Metal Jacket. :bigwink:


----------

