# Need advice on family and money



## Toosmart282 (Feb 19, 2021)

My grandmother of 93 years recently passed. She passed of ovarian cancer. I had the privilege to be able to take care of her for the last 4 months of her life. I miss her everyday.

When my grandfather passed I felt ashamed that I didn’t spend the time with him as I should I was in my 20’s and well you know I was in my 20’s. After he passed it hit me hard so I thought I’m going to do my best to do as much for my grandmother as I could.

Not long after my grandfathers passing I invited my grandmother and mother on a trip to the beach. Spend family time together. I wanted to be the granddaughter I should.

From that moment on I was on call for her day and night. Sometimes I couldn’t be right there because of work but, I was there. The calls in the middle of the night to go to the hospital. Hospital visit, doctor visits and cardiologist. I was there.

My mother and my grandmother did not get along and before she died she cried and wished that they could get along. Sad, yes I know.

As long as I can remember they would fight. Not physical just words. In my eyes it always seemed my mothers fault. As I got older my mother would demean me and made me feel awful about myself. I knew better but my brother did not. That’s a whole other story.

As time went on my mother would start using opioids. Yes she had medical issues of her own. When the opioids got to be used more the fights with my grandmother and mother. My mother would say things like “ I would kill you if I could get away with it standing over my grandmother. Calling her a terrible human being , battle axe, she will pay for being so selfish,telling her to shut up.

At the end of my grandmother’s life I had to go out of town. So one day my mother ending up watching her for a day. That day she tormented her and took her phones away from her and left went home for hours. Mind you my grandmother is 93 and has ovarian cancer and needs constant watching. My mother when I got home and found out had left her there hours without a phone. I was crushed for my grandmother I hugged her and told her it’s gonna be ok. She was never away from my site tile she passed after that.

After her passing the next day never heard a word from my mother. My husband and I went to the funeral home and made arrangements. My mother finally called the day after. She never mentioned anything about the service how it was paid for or nothing. The day of my grandmother’s family first to see her at the funeral home time was 4:30 pm my mother showed up at 5:15 like the rest of the people. She was also late the next day for the service.

Fast forward to the will. My grandmother had a will made 15 years ago that gave me all her money and property and her half of the house. The other half is owned by my mother. I told my mother this and she wasn’t mad at first but then she told me that my grandfather is rolling over in his grave right now. Also saying well I figured that but I always thought you would sign it over to me. She would sell it fix her house up ( which looks like hoards) buy a new car get her teeth fixed go on vacation. Which she couldn’t do anymore because she had graduated from pills to Fentanyl Patches.

I’m lost I need to hear other people’s opinion that don’t have a dog in the fight. I’m not giving my mother my half of the house. I told her I would buy her half Of the house out and give her her car and a mattress she wanted.

Am I being wrong for carrying out what my grandmother wanted? Is it right for my mother to make me feel guilty about not giving her anything else?


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## RadishRose (Feb 19, 2021)

Somehow, I think you know the answer.


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## Toosmart282 (Feb 19, 2021)

RadishRose said:


> Somehow, I think you know the answer.


No, I really don’t. What do you think? Of the whole situation.


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## hollydolly (Feb 19, 2021)

awww, this is awful... I'm so sorry for you, but you've done all you can, there's nothing more you can do. Your mother is a sick woman, she's your mother in name only.. I'm afraid you have to treat her as she was only someone you know rather than someone you're emotionally attached to, and live your life that way.

I wish I could give you some better advice, I can't, but I'm sure someone wiser than me will come along soon and help.

You sound like a good person, don't let a bad person destroy that... good luck!!


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## Jules (Feb 19, 2021)

Your grandmother made the will, knew what was in it for 15 years, and didn’t change it.  You inherited everything and half the house.  Sell the house, give your mother the money & nothing else.  Respect your grandmother’s wishes.  These things are legally yours.


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