# What would you do?



## debbie in seattle (Dec 5, 2018)

A little background.......My oldest daughter (mid 40’s) doesn’t really like being around my deceased husbands family.   This summer when we had a memorial service for him at the family compound, she showed up.   My husband has a HUGE family with 3 sisters running the whole show (bitching, carrying on, spreading gossip, etc).   One sis in law has decided every time she sees me, she bitches about my daughter, but always prefaces it with ‘we’ meaning the three sisters.  First time I was speechless, but this bitching has continued with no stopping or cooling down.   My reaction to tell her off and shut her damned mouth but I’m trying to take a higher road.   It’s nonstop with the sister in law.   She’s even said that my daughter is ‘not welcome’ around the family.   I’ve also thought of asking her how she would feel if I said that kind of stuff about her three kids.   Yea, yea, petty.     I’m trying to be kind and nice to these folks, but man, this one is hard.   

What would you do?


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## AprilSun (Dec 5, 2018)

How about just asking her politely to not discuss it with you because you would rather leave it between them and your daughter. Also tell her that talking to you about it, makes you feel like you're in the middle and you don't want that.


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## ClassicRockr (Dec 5, 2018)

debbie in seattle said:


> A little background.......My oldest daughter (mid 40’s) doesn’t really like being around my deceased husbands family.   This summer when we had a memorial service for him at the family compound, she showed up.   My husband has a HUGE family with 3 sisters running the whole show (bitching, carrying on, spreading gossip, etc).   One sis in law has decided every time she sees me, she bitches about my daughter, but always prefaces it with ‘we’ meaning the three sisters.  First time I was speechless, but this bitching has continued with no stopping or cooling down.   My reaction to tell her off and shut her damned mouth but I’m trying to take a higher road.   It’s nonstop with the sister in law.   She’s even said that my daughter is ‘not welcome’ around the family.   I’ve also thought of asking her how she would feel if I said that kind of stuff about her three kids.   Yea, yea, petty.     I’m trying to be kind and nice to these folks, but man, this one is hard.
> 
> What would you do?



Unfortunately, trying to "be kind and nice" often times just doesn't work. Coming out and saying something like "enough is enough of what you are saying" and sticking with that comment will work.


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## jujube (Dec 5, 2018)

AprilSun said:


> How about just asking her politely to not discuss it with you because you would rather leave it between them and your daughter. Also tell her that talking to you about it, makes you feel like you're in the middle and you don't want that.



I agree with what April said, but I'd leave the "politely" out of it....LOL.


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## RadishRose (Dec 5, 2018)

Deb, are you close to other members of this family that you want to maintain a relationship with?

Would it be possible to not see these 3 sisters, but still see the others you like?  I think that's what I would try to do, if some of these people were friends to me. I'd also mention as April did, that you'd prefer not to hear anymore detrimental comments about your girl. 

It sounds like your daughter doesn't want a relationship with them anyway. 

Because I sense there are others in this clan that you value, I would calmly tell those 3 to stop bad mouthing your daughter. If they don't stop, I'd stay away from those 3.

Good luck!


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## Falcon (Dec 5, 2018)

She doesn't  deserve  YOU  taking the higher road.  Tell her  to shut  her  freakin'  mouth !


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## Lara (Dec 5, 2018)

They sound like what people call "attention whores" and "toxic".* 
It's imperative that you and your daughter fill your lives with positivity.

Remember this quote:
 "I'm learning to love the sound of my feet walking away from things not meant for me".

Just walk away and pray silently for them that their hearts will be softened so they can once again give and receive love.

*Btw, "Toxic" is the word of the year so there must be many others experiencing the same thing.
Our nation has a growing number of "haters" and those that are just bitter. It's not you nor your daughter.


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## Trade (Dec 5, 2018)

debbie in seattle said:


> A little background.......My oldest daughter (mid 40’s) doesn’t really like being around my deceased husbands family.   This summer when we had a memorial service for him at the family compound, she showed up.   My husband has a HUGE family with 3 sisters running the whole show (bitching, carrying on, spreading gossip, etc).   One sis in law has decided every time she sees me, she bitches about my daughter, but always prefaces it with ‘we’ meaning the three sisters.  First time I was speechless, but this bitching has continued with no stopping or cooling down.   My reaction to tell her off and shut her damned mouth but I’m trying to take a higher road.   It’s nonstop with the sister in law.   She’s even said that my daughter is ‘not welcome’ around the family.   I’ve also thought of asking her how she would feel if I said that kind of stuff about her three kids.   Yea, yea, petty.     I’m trying to be kind and nice to these folks, but man, this one is hard.
> 
> What would you do?



She is way way way out of line bad mouthing your daughter like that. I know it's easier for me to say it than for you to actually do it, but I'm in favor of telling her to STFU!


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## Pinky (Dec 5, 2018)

I have a sister who loves bad-mouthing everyone. I found it best to disagree politely with her, then I stay away from her. If ever she were to say something negative about my daughter, I would put her in her place and very possibly, she would not see me again. Some people love being negative. I have dropped friends in the past who have this quality. Life's too short to be around such toxicity.


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## hollydolly (Dec 5, 2018)

Debbie, it seems your daughter doesn't want to be around these women, they have the sheer audacity to bad mouth your daughter right there in front of you..so now your husband has gone, is there any reason for you to have anything more to do with these people?

If it were me, and they did this to my adult child, they would be under no illusions what i thought of them, and I'd walk... a very long way away from them forever !!


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## Geezerette (Dec 5, 2018)

Agreeing with hollydolly' s well expressed advice. Give up in them, you can honor your late husband in your own way without having anything to do with them.


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## applecruncher (Dec 5, 2018)

I have to agree with walking away from them.  It's all a bunch of junior high school nonsense.  Those hens need to get a life.    They would be off my radar!!


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## Olivia (Dec 5, 2018)

debbie in seattle said:


> A little background.......My oldest daughter (mid 40’s) doesn’t really like being around my deceased husbands family.   This summer when we had a memorial service for him at the family compound, she showed up.   My husband has a HUGE family with 3 sisters running the whole show (bitching, carrying on, spreading gossip, etc).   One sis in law has decided every time she sees me, she bitches about my daughter, but always prefaces it with ‘we’ meaning the three sisters.  First time I was speechless, but this bitching has continued with no stopping or cooling down.   My reaction to tell her off and shut her damned mouth but I’m trying to take a higher road.   It’s nonstop with the sister in law.   She’s even said that my daughter is ‘not welcome’ around the family.   I’ve also thought of asking her how she would feel if I said that kind of stuff about her three kids.   Yea, yea, petty.     I’m trying to be kind and nice to these folks, but man, this one is hard.
> 
> What would you do?



Debbie, your story reminds me of Cinderella and the Three Ugly/Evil step sisters. If their lives were happy, satisfied, etc. then I don't see why they would have to be so critical of your daughter's life. Healthy people don't do that. There appears to be some kind of pathological/emotional problems of the three (or mainly one leader of the three) that uses your daughter (and others) as excuses for their own unsatisfactory lives. I've lived through something of that with some of our families (both sides) with my mother. I say, if you want to continue with them in even a little way, just remember it's their sad problem, not yours or your daughter's. 

I remember when my uncle (mother's brother) in one of my visits to Vienna. showed me a picture of my white so-called father. I just simply shook my head and went with our conversation with him and my cousin who I was introducing themselves to each other. And after that we went on with a good time. And, no, I didn't say anything to my mother afterwards, which he probably hoped I would. Sorry, but I didn't fall for whatever was his problem. 

There are stuff in our families, hidden or not, that are there and let it be their problems, not ours.


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## ClassicRockr (Dec 5, 2018)

Let's just all hope she is tough enough to do what, perhaps, she should do. Some people don't, because they don't want to create a riff in the family.


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## Linda (Dec 5, 2018)

I wouldn't hang out around these people ever again, whether my husband was alive or not.  I've shut toxic people out of my life several times.  Many of them relatives.


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## Olivia (Dec 5, 2018)

If only we could be so black and white about it. But that's not life. No life is perfect, and we just have to learn in the best way how do deal with it. Easy to say just forget it when you're not personally involved.


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## 911 (Dec 5, 2018)

I think you already know the answer to your question. If your loyalty lies with your daughter, and I’m sure it does, why would you want to be around people that continue to berate or even cast a dark light on your daughter. Sometimes, we have to make tough choices in life. 

I’m guessing that you would like to keep some kind of contact with your deceased husband’s family, but at what cost? Why not take a break and stay away from a few family functions? If that doesn’t send a message or they can’t figure it out, then explain it to them, but talk slow.


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## applecruncher (Dec 5, 2018)

Olivia said:


> If only we could be so black and white about it. But that's not life. No life is perfect, and we just have to learn in the best way how do deal with it. Easy to say just forget it when you're not personally involved.




I don't think anyone is saying life is easy or perfect or simple.  True, we're not personally involved, but she presented a problem and ends her post by asking "What would you do?"  People have answered.


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## Olivia (Dec 5, 2018)

applecruncher said:


> I don't think anyone is saying life is easy or perfect or simple.  True, we're not personally involved, but she presented a problem and ends her post by asking "What would you do?"  People have answered.



My bad, I was answering to the following. I was only relating to myself that it was somewhat like my mom  who went through it.  Now that you made me have to say it, when my dad had to go off to Korea, he  made my Japanese family's dad made my mom's  hell and and we had to go off and live with friends. It all got mostly all right in the end, but it's LIFE! Get over it.


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## Gary O' (Dec 5, 2018)

These kinda threads always cause me to ask myself what I’d do

Mainly due to this;



debbie in seattle said:


> What would you do?



However 
Some cause me to think ‘why would I?’

This is wunna them

Why would I continue with incorrigible inlaws of my deceased mate?
Reminisce about the good times? Really? 

Sure, attend the memorial of your husband
Maybe even say some things…about him

Then…fffffft, gone

They no longer exist, either

No bantering
No drama
No more ill feelings
No feelings at all
Life is just too short
 So, get on with it, not theirs


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## SeaBreeze (Dec 5, 2018)

debbie in seattle said:


> A little background.......My oldest daughter (mid 40’s) doesn’t really like being around my deceased husbands family.   This summer when we had a memorial service for him at the family compound, she showed up.   My husband has a HUGE family with 3 sisters running the whole show (bitching, carrying on, spreading gossip, etc).   One sis in law has decided every time she sees me, she bitches about my daughter, but always prefaces it with ‘we’ meaning the three sisters.  First time I was speechless, but this bitching has continued with no stopping or cooling down.   My reaction to tell her off and shut her damned mouth but I’m trying to take a higher road.   It’s nonstop with the sister in law.   She’s even said that my daughter is ‘not welcome’ around the family.   I’ve also thought of asking her how she would feel if I said that kind of stuff about her three kids.   Yea, yea, petty.     I’m trying to be kind and nice to these folks, but man, this one is hard.
> 
> What would you do?



That's a tough one Debbie.  Do you enjoy interacting with all the other members of his family aside from the sisters?  If you really don't enjoy being around the rest of him family too, then I'd just stop going to these affairs.  The one sister in law sounds really offensive to me, it would be hard for me not to put her in her place, but there might be an awkward public scene especially if the three sisters all became defensive and hostile at once against you.

Is there anyone in the family that knows the things they say to you about your daughter?  Would anyone take your side if there was an argument going on at their 'compound'?  It's hard for me to offer advice, I guess if it were me, and I didn't care very much for the others there, I would just stop seeing them....but it is better if family members know the reason behind it.

I feel for you, if it was a memorial service for my deceased husband, I would want it to be positive and comforting, not nasty and confrontational.  Also, if they were saying my daughter was not welcome, I wouldn't want to be there either.  Does the rest of his family welcome your daughter?  If it's just these sisters only, I'd try to ignore them, but you have to do what you feel is best for yourself and your happiness, your husband would want it that way.  Weigh the pros and cons, and follow your heart.


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## terry123 (Dec 5, 2018)

Falcon said:


> She doesn't  deserve  YOU  taking the higher road.  Tell her  to shut  her  freakin'  mouth !


I second this!


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## Wren (Dec 6, 2018)

Particularly cruel in my view debbie, given the fact you were attending a memorial service after the recent loss of your husband, you’d think the family would be falling over themselves to look after you and make sure you were coping 

It sounds like the situation has been going on for a while so, as others have said, do you need to keep in contact with these nasty people, must they figure in your life anymore, why try to be ‘nice and kind’ to anyone who treats you so badly ? 

You don’t need or deserve it


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## Sassycakes (Dec 6, 2018)

If anyone even a family member said something bad about my child I would walk away and never look back. My Dad's family hated my Mother because my parents married at a young age. Even though we were never welcomed to any affair my Mother went so as not to hurt my Dad. She took a lot of abuse from them.but never wanted my Dad to lose contact with them. After my Dad passed away I never had contact with them again for what they put my Mother through. I had 7 Aunts ,1 Uncle and over 20 cousins. It's been years now that I haven't had contact with any of them and I am happy.  If there is no important reason to see them I honestly would never forgive what they said about my daughter and as I said I would just walk away and not look back.I just wonder what your husband would have done if he were here.


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## Butterfly (Dec 6, 2018)

Wren said:


> Particularly cruel in my view debbie, given the fact you were attending a memorial service after the recent loss of your husband, you’d think the family would be falling over themselves to look after you and make sure you were coping
> 
> It sounds like the situation has been going on for a while so, as others have said, do you need to keep in contact with these nasty people, must they figure in your life anymore, why try to be ‘nice and kind’ to anyone who treats you so badly ?
> 
> You don’t need or deserve it



I emphatically agree -- what a lousy way for her to behave at your husband's memorial service, or at any time, for that matter.  I'd tell her what I thought about it, and then walk away and leave 'em all in the dust.  You don't need that kind of behavior in your life, and now that your husband is gone, you're not under any obligation to have anything to do with those people.


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## JimW (Dec 7, 2018)

Gary O' said:


> These kinda threads always cause me to ask myself what I’d do
> 
> Mainly due to this;
> 
> ...



I'm with the G man on this one, screw em! If it would make you feel better to give them a piece of your mind before walking away then by all means do. If not just walk away and forget they exist. I've been estranged from some very close family members of mine for about 20 years now and I've never felt better, so much less stress!


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## hiraeth2018 (Dec 7, 2018)

debbie in seattle said:


> A little background.......My oldest daughter (mid 40’s) doesn’t really like being around my deceased husbands family.   This summer when we had a memorial service for him at the family compound, she showed up.   My husband has a HUGE family with 3 sisters running the whole show (bitching, carrying on, spreading gossip, etc).   One sis in law has decided every time she sees me, she bitches about my daughter, but always prefaces it with ‘we’ meaning the three sisters.  First time I was speechless, but this bitching has continued with no stopping or cooling down.   My reaction to tell her off and shut her damned mouth but I’m trying to take a higher road.   It’s nonstop with the sister in law.   She’s even said that my daughter is ‘not welcome’ around the family.   I’ve also thought of asking her how she would feel if I said that kind of stuff about her three kids.   Yea, yea, petty.     I’m trying to be kind and nice to these folks, but man, this one is hard.
> 
> What would you do?



debbie in seattle, I feel so bad for what your husband's family is acting. Taking the "high road" won't stop the sister's potty mouth. I think you do have to tell her or any of them how you feel although in a nice way and leave her alone until she can talk to you nicely, she will learn what you will or won't tolerate from her. The family as a whole will either try hard to keep you in or they will slowly push you out in time. I wish you luck.


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## Lara (Dec 8, 2018)

I know what I would do. I'd put my arm around my daughter, look those 3 ugly-step-sisters square in the eye...then smile and say, "I'm Mama Bear and if anyone hurts my baby I'll eat them for lunch" layful:


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## BlueDragonfly (Dec 8, 2018)

There's a saying about how people will only treat you (or her) as poorly as you allow them. Myself, I'm too old for petty nonsense and toxic people. After the memorial was over, I simply would not be around them again. Your daughter needs to know you have her back, and you surely don't enjoy being around that negativity.


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## GeorgiaXplant (Dec 8, 2018)

What others have said...people will only treat you as badly as you allow. You don't need to be around them, and your daughter doesn't, either. It's past time to wipe their names off your slate. Think of the perfect cutting remark to use on them in the unfortunate event that you ever see them again. Cut them out of your live (and hers) and be done with it.


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## AZ Jim (Dec 8, 2018)

To hell with the high road.  Tell 'em to remove you from their address books and go away.


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## fuzzybuddy (Dec 8, 2018)

If they can't  show respect for their brother's widow, why go?


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## GeorgiaXplant (Dec 9, 2018)

fuzzybuddy said:


> If they can't  show respect for their brother's widow, why go?



And if they can't show respect for their brother's widow AND daughter, why have anything to do with them at all? This isn't a question I'd even have to ask.


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## Mmk1 (Nov 25, 2019)

debbie in seattle said:


> A little background.......My oldest daughter (mid 40’s) doesn’t really like being around my deceased husbands family.   This summer when we had a memorial service for him at the family compound, she showed up.   My husband has a HUGE family with 3 sisters running the whole show (bitching, carrying on, spreading gossip, etc).   One sis in law has decided every time she sees me, she bitches about my daughter, but always prefaces it with ‘we’ meaning the three sisters.  First time I was speechless, but this bitching has continued with no stopping or cooling down.   My reaction to tell her off and shut her damned mouth but I’m trying to take a higher road.   It’s nonstop with the sister in law.   She’s even said that my daughter is ‘not welcome’ around the family.   I’ve also thought of asking her how she would feel if I said that kind of stuff about her three kids.   Yea, yea, petty.     I’m trying to be kind and nice to these folks, but man, this one is hard.
> 
> What would you do?


I wouldn't take the high road or the low road. I would take the service road and get out  of there


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## Suzy623 (Nov 25, 2019)

I'm assuming your deceased husband is not your daughter's father. Having said that, have your own memorial service or get-togethers without these out-laws. You can have your own family around you for comfort and support rather than grieve your deceased husband and take grief from his family. You are no longer connected to them and you don't owe them anything. If I were dealing with a situation like that, cutting away would be my idea of taking the high road. I would leave the low-life on the low road.


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## Keesha (Nov 26, 2019)

This thread is also a year old now. The memorial service has most likely already happened.


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## CrackerJack (Nov 26, 2019)

Um..a difficult situation and plenty of good advice in the posts in here. These inlaws are saddo's and wrapped up in their nastiness. Not easy to walk away but it can be done with a determined will to.  My thought are of Karma and what goes around comes around but sometimes it takes a long time in our mortal terms. I've experienced good and bad Karma in my lifetime. but I can't explain it. I know this is easy for me to say but these people are to be pitied, as it's their loss not having a good relationship with you and your Daughter. Keep strong and yes, try to walk away. noit easy, I know. Their actions are a form of bullying. Dont them get you down


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## hollydolly (Nov 26, 2019)

*This thread is A YEAR OLD!!!! *


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## Lvstotrvl (Nov 27, 2019)

Well, I wish “Debbie in Seattle“ would show up n tell us what she decided to do, I hope she told off  the 3 itches n moved on with her life!.


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## Kaila (Nov 27, 2019)

I wish I had noticed the very old date on the Original Post of this thread, 
BEFORE I began reading it, TODAY.!!!  


I hope that Debbie still has a relationship with her adult daughter. 

It was great of her daughter to go to that memorial, despite them, and it was the right thing for the daughter to do, just that one time, but oh my, if Debbie didn't set a limit to that situation, and "side with" her daughter if need be, then she might not.


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## Kaila (Nov 27, 2019)

"....DESPITE them... " I wrote....
Not TO spite them  

I sure will try to remember to look at the dates of the posts, before I read on, or think about the posts too much!


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## Lara (Nov 27, 2019)

@Kaila , you just post whenever and whatever you want on anything you find interesting in SFs past present or a new thread for the future. I don't understand why old threads bother anyone if there is still something to say or learn from them. 

The only thing that ever bothers me is when someone posts a happy birthday thread for a member who came and went on the same day...years ago...and had nothing to post. Then everyone goes to all kinds of trouble to post pretty flower pics and cakes and then realize that b-day person will never even see it.


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## Lara (Nov 27, 2019)

It's no one's fault I don't think. The software here has names from long ago in their archives and then they appear at the bottom of the Home page as a Birthday Alert. So then someone starts a birthday thread for them even if they don't recognize the name. 

Best thing to do, if you don't recognize the name, is to click on the name and it will show you their join date and how many posts they made. That's what I do (to stay on topic) ☺


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## Lc jones (Nov 27, 2019)

I didn’t even noticed it was a year old thread oh brother! I was just going to comment that I had something very similar happen in my family and I have disowned this individual because she just about destroyed me, I kept trying and trying to fix it and she used my humility to attack my jugular vein time and time again, you know the saying if you keep putting your hand on the stove you’re gonna keep getting burned, I finally wised up but it took me a long time...


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## Catlady (Nov 27, 2019)

hollydolly said:


> *This thread is A YEAR OLD!!!! *


LOL, I've noticed the old threads are usually resurrected by brand new members.  They see an interesting title and don't notice how old the original post is.  It's okay, I did it once and then realized it was a very old thread but could not delete my post.  One of my own old threads "Extreme Isolation'' has been resurrected a couple of times.  It's like giving mouth to mouth and the patient keeps dying over and over.


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## hollydolly (Nov 27, 2019)

You know I don't think debbie wants to discuss this any more, and that is entirely her prerogative . She's been online recently and I'm sure would have joined in here if she felt she had something to add, so I think we should just respect her need just to vent... 

I think anyone who finds themselves in a similar postion and who might want some support, can start another thread..


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## Catlady (Nov 27, 2019)

debbie in seattle said:


> I’m trying to be kind and nice to these folks, but man, this one is hard.  What would you do?


Calling @debbie in seattle , could you update us nosy folks, is the situation still the same?  Has it been resolved and how?

ADDED:  Ooops, I was typing and didn't see your post Holly.  It's Debbie's prerogative surely whether to respond and update.  Sorry!


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## hollydolly (Nov 27, 2019)

Catlady said:


> Calling @debbie in seattle , could you update us nosy folks, is the situation still the same?  Has it been resolved and how?
> 
> ADDED:  Ooops, I was typing and didn't see your post Holly.  It's Debbie's prerogative surely whether to respond and update.  Sorry!


 Sure is... but I was just saying that she's been online today and I would have thought if she wanted to update this thread she would have, so I'm surmising that she just wanted  a listening ear, and maybe doesn't want to comment further


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## debbie in seattle (Nov 28, 2019)

Ahh, I‘m back.   What has happened?    I don’t answer the sis in laws (there’s only one who can’t stop asking, the others keep quiet).   I don’t go to the country house any longer also.  The one sis in law forgets about her own personal problems and focus’ on mine.    Life will go on, but I‘m not going to be the focus of anyone’s attention.


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## Catlady (Nov 28, 2019)

debbie in seattle said:


> Ahh, I‘m back.   What has happened?    I don’t answer the sis in laws (there’s only one who can’t stop asking, the others keep quiet).   I don’t go to the country house any longer also.  The one sis in law forgets about her own personal problems and focus’ on mine.    Life will go on, but I‘m not going to be the focus of anyone’s attention.


Good for you, Debbie!  They say the worst way you can insult someone is by ignoring them, you're on the right track.


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## Keesha (Dec 1, 2019)

Catlady said:


> One of my own old threads "Extreme Isolation'' has been resurrected a couple of times.  It's like giving mouth to mouth and the patient keeps dying over and over.


Haha. You have a way with words. 
Yep! This is basically the reason why I mentioned why the thread was old , but personally myself I like resurrecting old threads.
It’s like giving mouth to mouth. 
You crack me up.


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## Autumn72 (Dec 25, 2019)

hollydolly said:


> Debbie, it seems your daughter doesn't want to be around these women, they have the sheer audacity to bad mouth your daughter right there in front of you..so now your husband has gone, is there any reason for you to have anything more to do with these people?
> 
> If it were me, and they did this to my adult child, they would be under no illusions what i thought of them, and I'd walk... a very long way away from them forever !!


Sounds like you are lonely and hour daughter is too busy or these folks are your need to hang on to them for the first is too hard to face alone.... tough life is I too am facing this.


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## Autumn72 (Dec 25, 2019)

Mmk1 said:


> I wouldn't take the high road or the low road. I would take the service road and get out  of there


Fast


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## hollydolly (Dec 26, 2019)

Autumn72 said:


> Sounds like you are lonely and hour daughter is too busy or these folks are your need to hang on to them for the first is too hard to face alone.... tough life is I too am facing this.


 I think you've quoted me wrongly autumn ..I'm not lonely I was addressing Debbie


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## Keesha (Dec 26, 2019)

hollydolly said:


> I think you've quoted me wrongly autumn ..I'm not lonely I was addressing Debbie


I thought the very same thing when I read it.


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## hollydolly (Dec 26, 2019)

Keesha said:


> I thought the very same thing when I read it.


I know..right... ?...  ...hope you had a good Christmas day Keesha


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## Keesha (Dec 26, 2019)

hollydolly said:


> I know..right... ?...  ...hope you had a good Christmas day Keesha


I had an awesome Christmas Day except for the fact that my husband is sick. Then again it was nice and quiet around here. ☺lol
How was you day Holly? Did you spend it alone or with friends or family?


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## Keesha (Dec 26, 2019)

I STILL feel overly stuffed this morning and there’s an entire fridge filled with yummy food.
Weight loss at this point seems pointless. 
Luckily I bought a new weight scale that doesn’t miss a thing.


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## hollydolly (Dec 26, 2019)

Keesha said:


> I had an awesome Christmas Day except for the fact that my husband is sick. Then again it was nice and quiet around here. ☺lol
> How was you day Holly? Did you spend it alone or with friends or family?


 sorry your hubs was sick , hope he feels better today. There was just the 2 of us here for Christmas this year , we stayed home aside from a little lunchtime trip to the village pub to have a drink with the locals .. an annual tradition..


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## fmdog44 (Dec 26, 2019)

Life is too short.


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## Keesha (Dec 26, 2019)

hollydolly said:


> sorry your hubs was sick , hope he feels better today. There was just the 2 of us here for Christmas this year , we stayed home aside from a little lunchtime trip to the village pub to have a drink with the locals .. an annual tradition..


We had  a quiet Christmas with just the two of us but that’s my favourite kind of Christmas and no my husbands still sick. He’s quite the trooper though. He turned off the water and disconnected it  to the kitchen so we would still have water throughout the rest of the house and is ready to start putting the floor down. He’s having a nap now though.


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## Knight (Dec 26, 2019)

Quote
"A little background.......My oldest daughter (mid 40’s) doesn’t really like being around my deceased husbands family. "

"My husband has a HUGE family with 3 sisters running the whole show (bitching, carrying on, spreading gossip, etc). One sis in law has decided every time she sees me, she bitches about my daughter, but always prefaces it with ‘we’ meaning the three sisters."

The bitching, carrying on, spreading gossip, sounds to me like a really toxic family. Since your husband is deceased why continue to attend family functions ? You could remember him in a way that suits you. Since they are toxic and badmouth your daughter ignoring them completely with no explanation would remove any confrontation. Maybe the "we" is limited to the one, if so & the others reach out to you, you can choose to listen.

Confrontation within a family is no picnic, but it's your choice to accept or remove yourself from that situation.


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## gennie (Dec 26, 2019)

I don't see anything wrong with new members posting and resurrecting an old post especially if it is something of common interest. 

 What does it matter if you have already given your thoughts on the matter.  Opinions do change sometimes.  It's all just open conversation among friend.


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## Linda (Dec 27, 2019)

I never mind an old thread resurrected.  I threat them like I do all threads.  If I have time to spend here I read what interests me and skip what I don't care for.   I don't mind hearing opinions that are a few years old.


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