# What's Your Personality? - The REAL Dr. Phil Test



## SifuPhil (May 6, 2013)

In reply to Ozarkgal's personality test by the _fake_ Dr. Phil, I would like to take this opportunity to offer my OWN test.

*The Real Dr. Phil's Personality Test* is a simple 10-question test. Don't take too long thinking about any one answer, and NO GOOGLING!

Good luck!

1. *When do you feel your best...*
A) in the morning
B) during random drive-bys
C) after taking your kids out of your will

2. *You usually walk...*
A) fairly fast, with long steps
B) fairly slow, with mincing little steps and an occasional hop and skip
C) very fast, head down, looking for dropped change
D) less fast, in a wheelchair
E) I don't walk – I am carried everywhere by natives

3. *When talking to people, you...*
A) stand with your arms folded
B) have your hands frisking their pockets
C) have one or both your hands on their hips
D) kick or punch the person to whom you are talking
E) play with your rear, touch your shins, or smooth your back-hair

4. *When relaxing, you sit with..*
A) your ankles crossed behind your neck
B) your legs tied to a heavy cement block 
C) your legs stretched out or straight, resting on your chihuahuas
D) one leg curled under you, the other placed on the armoire in the bedroom

5. *When something really amuses you, you react with... *
A) loud donkey-like braying, spit-bubbles and nose-snorts
B) a titter, behind a raised hand – the way the Queen Mother would laugh
C) a quiet, depressed sigh and attempted wrist-slashings
D) a sheep

6. *When you go to a party or social gathering you...*
A) make a loud entrance so everyone notices you – explosives are your favorites
B) make a quiet entrance, looking around for someone to hide behind
C) make the quietest entrance, trying to climb in through the second-story window

7. *You're working very hard, concentrating hard, and you're interrupted....*
A) you welcome the chance to practice your meditation
B) you kill the interlopers
C) vary between these two extremes

8. *Which of the following colors do you like most....*
A) Puce
B) Periwinkle
C) Garlic Clove
D) Moccasin
E) Honey Bear
F) Fossil Butte
G) Jazzberry Jam

9. *When you are in bed at night, in those last few moments before going to sleep you are.....* 
A) stretched out on your back, wrists shackled to the headboard
B) stretched out face down on your stomach, ball-gag in mouth
C) on your side, slightly curled, from all the gall-bladder pains
D) with your head on one arm and a stranger's head on the other
E) with your head under the covers, playing “Tent Fort” 

10. *You often dream that you are...*
A) in a Maidenform bra
B) fighting or struggling with a one-legged T. Rex
C) searching for Godot
D) flying or floating in a zero-G chamber
E) you usually have wet dreams
F) your dreams are always about honey badgers




POINTS:

1. (a) 2 (b) 4 (c) 6
2. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 7 (d) 2 (e) 1
3. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 5 (d) 7 (e) 6
4. (a) 4 (b) 6 (c) 2 (d) 1
5. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 2
6. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 2
7. (a) 6 (b) 2 (c) 4
8. (a) 6 (b) 7 (c) 5 (d) 4 (e) 3 (f) 2 (g) 1
9. (a) 7 (b) 6 (c) 4 (d) 2 (e ) 1
10 (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 6 (f) 1

*Now add up the total number of points. *


*OVER 60 POINTS: *Others see you as someone they “should have committed." You're seen as unstable, self-centered, and extremely dominant, even without a whip. Others may admire you, especially Neo-Nazis, wishing they could be more like you, but they don't always trust you, hesitating to become too deeply involved with you because they remember Kristallnacht.

*51 TO 60 POINTS*: Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather Neanderthal personality, a primitive leader, who's quick to club people, though not always the right ones. They see you as bald and lacking in energy, someone who will try anything once, twice if it tastes good; someone who takes chances and enjoys long stays in penitentiaries. They enjoy being in your company because of all the paper clips they can steal from the stockroom.

*41 TO 50 POINTS*: Others see you as frothy, liver-spotted, a disappointment, a mutant, impractical, and always ingratiating, someone who's constantly lying in the center of the road, but sufficiently well-lubricated not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind of a jerk, inconsiderate, and under-supported, someone who'll always chew them up and spit them out.

*31 TO 40 POINTS:* Others see your mandibles, which makes them cautious, careful & practical. They see you holding that cleaver, knife or talon, but modestly. Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who eats the friends you do make and who expects some compensation in return. Those who really get to know you, realize it takes a lot to shake your bust in front of your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over it if that bust is ever broken.

*21 TO 30 POINTS:* Your friends see you giving pain-stakings to your pussycat. They see you as very caustic, extremely careless, just slow and unsteady horse-fodder. It would really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively with spurs to a monument, expecting you to x-ray everything carefully from every angle and then, usually decide to set fire to it. They think this reaction is caused partly by your over-medication.

*UNDER 21 POINTS:* People think you are shifty, nervous, and indecisive, someone who needs booking, who always wants someone else to make the incisions and who doesn't want to evolve into anyone or anything! They see you as a demented warrior who always sees pompoms that don't exist. Some people think you're whoring. Only those who know you well, _know_ that you are.


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## That Guy (May 6, 2013)

44.  I will chew you up and spit you out!


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## Anne (May 6, 2013)

That is hilarious!!!!  Thanks for the laughs,  sifuPhil!!!!


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## SeaBreeze (May 6, 2013)

:lol:....:3stooges:


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