# Relative brags about being "rich"



## applecruncher (Dec 7, 2017)

I have a cousin who I used to be quite close to.  We were born in the same small town and spent a lot of time together until my parents divorced and we moved. Jim and I are the same age. Years later as adults we periodically kept in touch.  He's funny, witty, interesting, and I used to enjoy his company.

Jim got a scholarship to a prestigious college, he worked hard, and became quite successful in the pharmaceutical industry.  He married in his 30s and they have one daughter. I was genuinely happy for him that he had a nice life. He's retired now and does consultant work, but when he was working his job(s) moved him around a lot -  different state every few yrs and he also worked in the UK for a few years.......always climbing the professional ladder.

About 10-15 yrs ago I noticed a change. He developed an arrogance and conceit that (to me) was a huge turnoff.  For example, on the phone and a few times in person I've heard him say that he's "so rich he has to be careful because other people want money". _(barf) _Well, I don't know for certain who has asked him for money, but even if I was hungry and homeless I would never contact him. He also says things like "I had to take my new Porsche in to be serviced."  Then there was a back-stabbing incident where he repeated something I'd told him in confidence.

Small world......Jim and his family moved to a suburb about 20 miles away 3 yrs ago. They've never contacted me....fine. But recently I heard from another relative who ran into Jim at a store. The person asked if I see Jim often, and I just said "No, not anymore. People drift apart and life goes on." I left it at that.

Have you ever known someone who brags about being "rich" and assumes everyone is jealous and wants to borrow money?


----------



## Falcon (Dec 7, 2017)

No.


----------



## Aunt Bea (Dec 7, 2017)

I know several people who brag about having money and most of them have less than I do.

Old sayings like *big hat no cattle* or _*an empty barrel makes the most noise*_ come to mind.


----------



## JaniceM (Dec 7, 2017)

Aunt Bea said:


> I know several people who brag about having money and most of them have less than I do.
> 
> Old sayings like *big hat no cattle* or _*an empty barrel makes the most noise*_ come to mind.



Or another one:  "Money can't buy character."


----------



## Marie5656 (Dec 7, 2017)

*Opposite, really.  My brother is quite wealthy, self made in a business he started from bottom, and became successful.  While he acknowledges his wealth, he does not flaunt it. He seems amazed when he sees his name on the internet, relating to organizations he belongs to.
He did a nice thing for us at our wedding..we decided on a small affair, at a hotel, 50 guests, like that. My brother contacted the hotel without our knowledge and paid the whole bill, as his gift to us.  I never even had an inkling, even when He called and said "Have you ordered your flowers yet, where are you getting them_.  The only "glitch came the day of our wedding.  The wedding planner was supposed to return us our deposit, and tell us the wedding was taken care of.  Well, he never did, and at the end of the evening I was talking with my brother and sister in law while Rick was writing a check for balance.  My brother looked over, exclaimed "What the hell" and went over there.  I wondered aloud what was happening. THAT is when my sis in law told me he had paid for everything already.  That was how low key my brother was about it.
He loves to travel, and they do.  He enjoys his wealth, but does not flaunt it.
*


----------



## Aunt Bea (Dec 7, 2017)

JaniceM said:


> Or another one:  "Money can't buy character."



You forgot the other nine!


----------



## CindyLouWho (Dec 7, 2017)

What I have consistently noticed is that "new" money likes to brag and "old" money you'd never know they were rich, unless you know them personally. I think being a braggart comes from a place of insecurity and these shallow, fake, materialistic things makes them feel like something. I find it repulsive and prefer the simpler, more meaningful, and truly important things that life seems to really be about. It's what's inside a person, not the outside, that really matters.


----------



## Ruth n Jersey (Dec 7, 2017)

Yes, applecruncher I have someone in the family like that. He doesn't come right out and boast but does it in a very subtle way. While we are having dinner he will just happen to mention how he stopped by the supermarket and bought several Filet mignon steaks. Then says,what the heck,you can't take it with you. He never fails to mention the sweater he just bought came from some expensive store or the price of gifts he bought for others. I grit my teeth and just say that's nice. I don't want to give him the satisfaction of him thinking I'm just in awe of what he can buy. Sometimes he goes into detail about all the trouble he went through to find a certain gift and how many hours it took for him to research it. I think he wants everyone to kiss his feet. He is nice in every other way,maybe he is just an insecure person.


----------



## Falcon (Dec 7, 2017)

How true  CindyLouWho.   I know a couple of them....'always showing off ...and even  SHOWING US  their "stuff".   Very insecure folks.


----------



## applecruncher (Dec 7, 2017)

My father had some friends who came to the US from Romania in the 1970s and worked at menial jobs.  They saved, never bought anything on credit.  They bought 2 laundromats and a pizza parlor in the university district.  Long story short they built a home now valued at $800k in an upscale area......paid cash for the home, furnishings, and vehicles. No doubt these people are millionaires several times over and could probably blow Jim out of the water (although yes, he is quite well off).​


----------



## Shalimar (Dec 7, 2017)

JaniceM said:


> Or another one:  "Money can't buy character."


My gramma would say, “Brag’s a good dog, but Hangon’s better.”


----------



## Shalimar (Dec 7, 2017)

CindyLouWho said:


> What I have consistently noticed is that "new" money likes to brag and "old" money you'd never know they were rich, unless you know them personally. I think being a braggart comes from a place of insecurity and these shallow, fake, materialistic things makes them feel like something. I find it repulsive and prefer the simpler, more meaningful, and truly important things that life seems to really be about. It's what's inside a person, not the outside, that really matters.


Oh, yes!


----------



## CindyLouWho (Dec 7, 2017)

Several years back, I did phone work (for 15 years, ugh), for a non-profit agency regarding donations of items (but no cash). We would call one neighborhood on Monday, another area of town on Tues and so forth. After awhile, I realized (and I normally don't believe in categorizing or labeling people) that the Monday neighborhood with old money, were quite polite and giving, while the Tuesday neighborhood with new money (which none of us wanted to call), would hang up in our ear, call us names in their uppity tone and laugh us off. The Wednesday neighborhood, which was a very poor neighborhood would say, " Hey, how are you doing, I've been waiting for you call, we have lots of stuff, when is your truck coming by?.

I must say that job taught me a lot about people, a lot about life, but mostly what I already knew.......that I wanted to be around people with big hearts:love_heart:, not big, new, shiny wallets.


----------



## oldman (Dec 7, 2017)

I belong to two investment groups. We have within the groups doctors, lawyers and many other professional people that live in million dollar homes and drive cars that I forget the names of. I have never heard any of them discuss their personal wealth or even mention anything about people wanting to borrow from them. A few months back, we had a meeting and one of the ladies that belong to the one group brought her daughter along. When she introduced her to our Chairman of the board, he looked at her ripped out jeans, which a lot of the younger folks wear and he told her that they have really nice ones on sale at Kohl's. She looked at him seriously, then there was a moment of silence and she said, "Haw, haw." We all busted out laughing and a moment later, she laughed also.


----------



## n_brown (Dec 7, 2017)

> Have you ever known someone who brags about being "rich" and assumes everyone is jealous and wants to borrow money?



Thought about it, no...never knew anybody that 'could' brag about rich.


----------



## jujube (Dec 7, 2017)

I've always found that the "haves" seldom talk about what they have.


----------



## Sassycakes (Dec 7, 2017)

You reminded me of an Aunt that I had. She was my Mothers older sister and all she did was brag about how much money she had.She was always telling her nieces and nephews that she never wants for any thing. In later years when her grandchildren got married we were all at a party at another family members house. She was laughing and said "You could fit your whole house in my granddaughters kitchen." She really upset the girl. I walked out of the room so I wouldn't snap out.


----------



## RadishRose (Dec 7, 2017)

No. But I love that expression" "big hat no cattle" !


----------



## Gary O' (Dec 7, 2017)

CindyLouWho said:


> What I have consistently noticed is that "new" money likes to brag and "old" money you'd never know they were rich, unless you know them personally. I think being a braggart comes from a place of insecurity and these shallow, fake, materialistic things makes them feel like something. I find it repulsive and prefer the simpler, more meaningful, and truly important things that life seems to really be about. It's what's inside a person, not the outside, that really matters.



Please see the above for my reply (thought about saying it better...can't)


----------



## Butterfly (Dec 7, 2017)

One person I used to work for years ago bragged incessantly one way or another about all the money they had but was a complete cheapskate about anything anyone else needed -- like decent heat for the office or paying decent wages, and would nickel and dime anyone to death over the smallest things.


----------



## NancyNGA (Dec 8, 2017)

The wealthiest person in my family tends to do that.  But if you listen carefully, the way he talks about it, it seems more like he's saying that even *he* doesn't believe he became that wealthy. I cut him some slack in the ability to express himself.  LOL!


----------



## debbie in seattle (Dec 8, 2017)

We have a brother in law in the family who has more money, better cars, house, kids, grandchildren, you get the gist.  
All of us are his minions, so much further below him.     
Family calls it, “Dougs pissing up the wall higher” than everyone else syndrome.


----------



## Shalimar (Dec 8, 2017)

debbie in seattle said:


> We have a brother in law in the family who has more money, better cars, house, kids, grandchildren, you get the gist.
> All of us are his minions, so much further below him.
> Family calls it, “Dougs pissing up the wall higher” than everyone else syndrome.


Loll.


----------



## Lethe200 (Dec 22, 2017)

>>Have you ever known someone who brags about being "rich" and assumes everyone is jealous and wants to borrow money?>>

No, but one of my DH's cousins from Canada once called DH's mom (who was living with us at the time after having sold her home for $$$$) to ask if she could "lend" him $30K.

DH handled it. It was a culturally sensitive matter - they are Asian immigrants, and family very often lends to family. It wasn't that MIL couldn't afford the money; she could. She could afford to just give it to him as a gift, in fact. The request was politely declined, and the cousin took it okay, never asked again.

So you never know, as the saying goes, "until you walk a mile in the other person's shoes."

Also, consider this: people (let's say "X") who chase money are inherently insecure. They probably can't envision that someone else is NOT feeling so insecure despite having less money than "X" does. So "X" projects that feeling of insecurity -_'oh, they say they're happy for me, but they're probably really jealous I've done better than they have.' _

Fearful people have a hard time summoning up empathy with others who are different. And that is true for many situations, not just financial ones.


----------



## Camper6 (Dec 22, 2017)

Let them brag. it doesn't bother me at all. Just congratulate them. That's what they look for.


----------



## Giantsfan1954 (Dec 23, 2017)

Yup,my late husband had a nephew that sounds like your guys twin...
Used to annoy me to no end more so that he forgot his "roots", so to speak,his dad was a garbage man,his mom worked in the school cafeteria. ..
I have learned 2 things about these type,the new cars etc.are usually leased through the company and get "written off" or they are carrying  staggering credit card bills...
Just saw this recently "stay humble our graves are all the same size"


----------



## rkunsaw (Dec 24, 2017)

Many years ago when I was a struggling young man trying to make my paycheck last until the next one (usually didn't), I was driving an old Ford pickup. I forget how old but it was old. One day there was an article in the paper about San Walton, at the time the richest man in America. There was a picture of him in the paper driving his truck. It was the same model as mine.

The truly rich don't flaunt it. It's the wannabes that try to show off their "wealth".


----------



## EllieR (Dec 26, 2017)

I had a wealthy aunt and uncle that complained about things that didn't cost very much and she would travel all over town for bargains.  They traveled all over the world and had nice homes in different states.  I always thought that was funny that a hotdog costing less than $1.00 would upset my uncle so much and he complained in angry words.  I was told by other family members, that was why they were so wealthy.


----------



## TonyK (Dec 26, 2017)

A friend liked to brag about his large state pension and even told me how many hundreds of thousands of dollars he had in his savings account. But I realized this was only a front because he lived alone and even his one child wouldn't have anything to do with him.


----------



## debbie in seattle (Dec 27, 2017)

EllieR said:


> I had a wealthy aunt and uncle that complained about things that didn't cost very much and she would travel all over town for bargains.  They traveled all over the world and had nice homes in different states.  I always thought that was funny that a hotdog costing less than $1.00 would upset my uncle so much and he complained in angry words.  I was told by other family members, that was why they were so wealthy.



My mom was like that.   She would ask for her senior discount at Wendy’s on a 99 cent hamburger, go to Sam’s club to eat her meals almost daily,  take a shower at the neighborhood pool locker room all the while being wealthy. I really don’t think she enjoyed life because she was so busy trying to save money.  Sad.


----------



## hearlady (Dec 30, 2017)

Camper6 said:


> Let them brag. it doesn't bother me at all. Just congratulate them. That's what they look for.


I agree.


----------



## WhatInThe (Jan 12, 2018)

It's basically a form of branding. I know people who brag about knowing rich people and dress like they are rich. At the sametime their family had to buy their last car because their credit was shot from a bankruptcy. They're all about image and perception. To top it off they dissed that rich guy behind his back for not "helping" them out with THEIR bills/money issues before they declared bankruptcy. He's still working him for money desperately trying to get him to go in 'a' business idea deal which seems to change by the month. Talk about the long con. Branding is everything with this person. They want to be associated with only 'the best'. What's the expression-rich man's taste on a poor man's salary?


----------



## Shalimar (Jan 12, 2018)

WhatInThe said:


> It's basically a form of branding. I know people who brag about knowing rich people and dress like they are rich. At the sametime their family had to buy their last car because their credit was shot from a bankruptcy. They're all about image and perception. To top it off they dissed that rich guy behind his back for not "helping" them out with THEIR bills/money issues before they declared bankruptcy. He's still working him for money desperately trying to get him to go in 'a' business idea deal which seems to change by the month. Talk about the long con. Branding is everything with this person. They want to be associated with only 'the best'. What's the expression-rich man's taste on a poor man's salary?


Champagne taste on a beer budget?


----------



## WhatInThe (Jan 12, 2018)

Shalimar said:


> Champagne taste on a beer budget?



That's what I was looking for.  Thanks.


----------



## Shalimar (Jan 12, 2018)

WhatInThe said:


> That's what I was looking for.  Thanks.


My pleasure.


----------



## HiDesertHal (Jan 15, 2018)

Falcon said:


> How true  CindyLouWho.   I know a couple of them....'always showing off ...and even  SHOWING US  their "stuff".   Very insecure folks.


 
I don't do that anymore since you shamed me for it, Falcon.

Harry


----------



## OneEyedDiva (Jan 18, 2018)

Last year we met a man who is very rich. He owns our timeshare resort and several other resort properties. To see him and talk with him, you'd never know he was so wealthy. He hobnobs with the staff and wears casual clothes most times I've seen him. This man gave a brand new car to one of the higher ranking staff members. And I'm told employees can talk with him about their concerns. People who have to brag about having a lot of money are either (yes) arrogant or insecure. I can understand you being turned off by it. Maybe some people did try to hit him up for money once they realized he was well off (which would be his fault for bragging). That can be a turn off too. Sometimes the worst ones are family members. I'm not condoning his behavior but that could have triggered the conversation he had with you...thinking he was heading it off at the pass. Too bad. I had a good relationship with one of my first cousins and he broke trust in a different, even more disrespectful way when my husband and I took a trip with him and another cousin for a cousin's funeral. I can never feel the same about him again. It took me a couple of years to forgive but I'll never forget. He did some slimy things to a couple of other relatives while we were down south. In the long run, he made *himself* look bad in their eyes.


----------

