# Having a harmonious Christmas



## Lc jones (Nov 7, 2019)

Hi everybody! I have a little problem, we have some strong willed people in our family who want to do what they want to do during the holidays and this creates tension. One person would like to do a particular activity on one day and another person wants to do another type of activity on that same day. These individuals are as stubborn as mule’s and will not bend. I am the family peacemaker and would like your suggestions as to how to handle this in a harmonious way so peace can be maintained in my family and we can enjoy family time together. 🕊Thanks.


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## Catlady (Nov 7, 2019)

More details would help.  What does each want to do on that same day?


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## Lc jones (Nov 7, 2019)

PVC said:


> More details would help.  What does each want to do on that same day?


One person would like to go to the beach with the family on the 24th and the other person wants to stay home and prepare for Christmas day and have the traditional pizza party that evening.


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## GeorgiaXplant (Nov 7, 2019)

I don't have the answer, but beach on Christmas Eve? Um...

Maybe poll the rest of the family and go with the majority? I dunno, but I'd rather stick with the tradition.


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## Lc jones (Nov 7, 2019)

GeorgiaXplant said:


> I don't have the answer, but beach on Christmas Eve? Um...
> 
> Maybe poll the rest of the family and go with the majority? I dunno, but I'd rather stick with the tradition.


Tradition is very important to me so that’s probably what we’re going to do.


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## Gary O' (Nov 7, 2019)

Get everbody together and draw straws
The loser gets the next holiday 

reminds me of a poster I created in another life


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## Catlady (Nov 7, 2019)

GeorgiaXplant said:


> I don't have the answer, but beach on Christmas Eve? Um...
> 
> Maybe poll the rest of the family and go with the majority? I dunno, but I'd rather stick with the tradition.


I agree, you hit it on the head, let Democracy rule.  The beach one can go to the beach with those who agree with him/her.


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## Lc jones (Nov 7, 2019)

PVC said:


> I agree, you hit it on the head, let Democracy rule.  The beach one can go to the beach with those who agree with him/her.


Well the problem is I sure would like to have everybody together for that entire day as my son is coming from across the country and I haven’t seen him in nine months,  I guess they could come over in the evening and have pizza with us it makes me sad though that we can’t spend the whole day together as a whole family.


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## GeorgiaXplant (Nov 7, 2019)

Hey...it means you don't have to share your son with as many people!


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## Lc jones (Nov 7, 2019)

GeorgiaXplant said:


> Hey...it means you don't have to share your son with as many people!


Good point!! Oh boy I’m happy again.....


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## terry123 (Nov 7, 2019)

Let everybody do what they want. Just tell them you will have a traditional Christmas at a certain time to eat, open presents and enjoy each others company.  Those that can come or want to will.  I would participate in any of the others if I wanted to.  That way everybody does their own thing and still has their traditions.


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## Aunt Bea (Nov 8, 2019)

terry123 said:


> Let everybody do what they want. Just tell them you will have a traditional Christmas at a certain time to eat, open presents and enjoy each others company.  Those that can come or want to will.  I would participate in any of the others if I wanted to.  That way everybody does their own thing and still has their traditions.


I agree, just relax and go with the flow.


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## Rosemarie (Nov 8, 2019)

It's this kind of situation which makes me so glad I'm alone. If it was me, I'd say, 'To Hell with the lot of them, I'm doing what I want'.


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## Packerjohn (Nov 8, 2019)

I would say buy an airline ticket to some sunny, warm spot & don't come back until after January 1st.


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## Lc jones (Nov 8, 2019)

I’m a real going with the flow kind of gal but I’m afraid others are not. I’m concerned that there’s going to be a disagreement and conflict that is going to cause friction in the family. I always seem to want to bring peace to the situation and then I get in the middle of it. I think I’ll just stay out of it and do my own thing.


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## Ronni (Nov 8, 2019)

I tend to be the peacemaker in my family too, so I really get where you're coming from.  On the other hand, there is seldom this kind of divisiveness within my kinfolk so I've never had to deal with something this severe.  

Unfortunately you can't always make peace happen, because it's just an illusion that you can actually control anyone's choices or decisions.  

Are you the gathering point for these get togethers? If it was me, I'd just let everyone know that I am going to do X and such and such time and everyone's welcome, and then let the rest happen or not however it evolves.  That's typically my go-to solution when I'm faced with conflicting schedules.  I do as much as I can to accommodate everyone and everything, but if I just can't get it all together, I announce the time for the get together and welcome as many as can manage to make it.


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## Tommy (Nov 8, 2019)

You are very fortunate to be able to have your whole family together whatever the activity.  Having no further knowledge of the situation, I would probably defer to the wishes person who is traveling across country to be there.


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## Llynn (Nov 8, 2019)

Do what you want to do. Let the others sort it out for themselves. Holidays don't come with the requirement to give in to manipulators.


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## Lc jones (Nov 8, 2019)

Tommy said:


> You are very fortunate to be able to have your whole family together whatever the activity.  Having no further knowledge of the situation, I would probably defer to the wishes person who is traveling across country to be there.


That makes good sense.


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## Pecos (Nov 8, 2019)

We live on the opposite coast from most of our relatives and we never travel during major holiday seasons. This saves us a pile of money and precludes another pile of heartburn. We visit relatives when we want to, and on our own terms.

That said, we tend to treat ourselves pretty nicely during the holidays.


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