# Retirement "Blues"?



## imp (Sep 8, 2015)

The younger of my two nephews, Mike, has taught in Flagstaff, AZ at Northern Arizona University and Coconino Community College for 30 years. He retired last Friday. For months now, we had serious discussions predicting his level of upcoming malaise. No hobbies, ill-able to "do or make" using his hands, intellectually sharp, seriously concerned about the effect upon him of having "nothing to do". His brother & I suggested perhaps part-time work, a thought agreeable to Mike. He will be in no dire straits financially. His marriage relationship is tenuous, thus precluding spending a lot of time everyday at home.

What additional things might I suggest to help him "slide gracefully" into retirement?   

imp


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## lb1818 (Sep 8, 2015)

He should check with his Park District.   I found hundreds of classes/events/etc at my park district....sports, arts/crafts, automotive, languages, exercise, etc.   
Good luck to your nephew!


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## Lara (Sep 8, 2015)

I retired in April and am giving myself a year to relax, have fun just going with the flow, and think about what new things I want to do. I have more ideas of things to do than I can possibly get to. Everyday some new opportunity comes to mind. Maybe it just takes some imagination or tuning into what makes you happy or excited. 

Today I thought, "I want to play a clarinet" after hearing that beautifully mellow sound twice today. First, it was a video meanderer posted in my Diary thread (southern porch poetry) of a group playing on a porch. Second, I finally got a TV and was watching the movie "Mr. Holland's Opus". He told his clarinet student, "Close your eyes and think of a sunset while you play because it must come from your heart. I want to close my eyes, think of a sunset, and play with feeling. 

Yesterday, I started thinking about volunteering to teach Art as therapy to those with Down Syndrome (because of my post in the DS thread) or other challenged people or troubled teens etc 

Also want to...

Paint more expressive paintings
Photography
Write poetry that is more clever than I've been doing
eBay business selling vintage items I fix up
I want a shelter dog, a bike, a tennis racquet
I want to join a group and make some new friends
Maybe join a Chess group at the local coffee shop
Teach my mother to play chess (she's sharp)
I want to join a church and get involved 
Road trips like to the Outer Banks (I've never been even though I lived near it for 25 years)
Plane trips to see family
Swimming everyday
I want to put my bird feeder up now that the cat has passed on and add a hummingbird feeder
I want to put a bird bath out
I want to organize and declutter to the bare minimum and do house & lawn maintenance (notice this is the last on the list)
…and more!!

Maybe this will give him some ideas (although this list isn't exactly tailored to men)


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## Meanderer (Sep 10, 2015)

What subjects did Mike teach, Imp, and how old is he?


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## imp (Sep 10, 2015)

Mike started out teaching Humanities courses, and wound up the last 10 years or so as Senior Faculty Student Advisor. He was 64 in June. They talked him into staying several months longer than he planned to. He worked hard to earn two Masters Degrees at Arizona State Univ. (ASU) in Tempe.   imp


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## fishfulthinking (Sep 11, 2015)

Volunteering


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## Linda (Sep 11, 2015)

Imp, does he want something to do or is this something you and others are concerned about?  So many great ideas have already been mentioned by other posters.  I think volunteering is one of the best suggestions.  I can't imagine anyone not having hobbies.  Sitting in front of the TV all day is one of the worst things a retiree can do, unless they are ill and have no choice.  There is a reason so many people die in the first year of their retirement.  My friend's brother in law was in great health (according to his Dr) and a week after he retired he had a heart attack and died.  He had no hobbies or interests and had no idea what he was going to do with his retirement years.


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## IKE (Sep 12, 2015)

I retired April 1st (at 65 + 3 months)and so far have kept occupied with yard work, going to the outdoor gun range two or three times a week for a couple hours, painting the house exterior and just general piddling around.

Mama is a couple years younger and won't retire till around Sept. of 2017 so for now I'm piddling around during the day alone. 

Like Linda mentioned above I didn't want to be one of those to spend my time just sitting on the couch listening to my arteries get hard so my second week off I started walking (briskly) every morning, seven days a week, before the sun comes up 3 miles round trip through the neighborhood.......to be honest I don't believe I even walked that far per week when I was working let alone daily. 

Winter is fast approaching and I'm a little worried about cabin fever and what I'll do every day when it turns cold because most, if not all, of my activities now are outdoors related.

Even as a kid I have always been pretty much a loner and never have socialized much if any (which isn't going to change) so doing the senior center thing this winter is not really a option and being a 'mall walker' for daily exercise doesn't really appeal to me either, again I suppose it's because of my loner personality.......I'm going to have to come up with something.

Time to go walk........have a good day.


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## imp (Sep 12, 2015)

*T-V is OUT!*



Linda said:


> Imp, does he want something to do or is this something you and others are concerned about?  So many great ideas have already been mentioned by other posters.  I think volunteering is one of the best suggestions.  I can't imagine anyone not having hobbies.  *Sitting in front of the TV all day is one of the worst things a retiree can do, unless they are ill and have no choice*.  There is a reason so many people die in the first year of their retirement.  My friend's brother in law was in great health (according to his Dr) and a week after he retired he had a heart attack and died.  *He had no hobbies or interests and had no idea what he was going to do with his retirement years*.



Linda, in Mike's case, I'm not sure he even has a T-V! What he DOES have is a questionable marriage, a long but curious story, which in part explains his uncertainty about no longer going off everyday. His wife, Chinese-American, born in Hawaii, retains cultural mores which are, er,.......dubious, to us. Two sons from her first marriage, to a Caucasian American, both now in their early 30s. The older does work, but, like his brother, is "into" a "dark" lifestyle, centered around believe in some kind of underworld. The other son went to Hawaii several years ago with his mother, to settle her Dad's estate, who had passed away, a lot of money in property on the big island, a house very old, grandfathered, within the city limits, having no running water or sewer system. Thus, being "illegal", she could not sell it outright. Left the son there, after buying a new pickup, which remained with him, and she returned to Flagstaff, AZ, where Mike had remained. Mike's house, of course, has plumbing, but Judith prefers to continue using a bucket, which she empties out back! Weird, we think. The son in Hawaii sold her truck, but had no access to a title, so technically, it has been stolen. The son allowed a bunch of druggies to stay in the house there, which they have gutted, to sell the building materials for dope. The son threatens to return to AZ, and kill his brother, mother, and possibly Mike.

Judith is of course beside herself constantly, is older than Mike, suffers from COPD induced by the volcanic fumes she lived in all her life in Hawaii, will not go to a doctor under any circumstances. So you see, Mike has somewhat insurmountable problems, which he avoided thinking about daily while off at work. We wish we could help him, but there is little to do, and Mike is far too caring a person to become forceful given his circumstances.

Mike's only "hobby" is playing racquetball, which has become difficult due to an arthritic hip. He never did have hobby interests, but was a bookworm all his life. He is goodhearted, a warm and giving person. Sorry for the excessively long "read", perhaps it produced a few raised eyebrows, if not a good laugh!   imp


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## tnthomas (Sep 12, 2015)

A person has to have two things for successful retirement:

1. sufficient funds

2. a game plan


Regarding #2, you have to have a source of intellectual challenge / stimulation to keep sufficiently aggravated so that you continue to thrive and maintain the will to live.


Some people can retire gracefully, and be content to go fishing and visiting the grandkids periodically, thriving and living long. I have not known many of this type, however.

I took a early retirement to take care of a health issue, and put the 3 years I was retired to good use, generally.   I returned to full time employment and feel so much more like "myself" again.     I'll continue to work as long as I physically am able to.


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## Linda (Sep 12, 2015)

Wow Imp, I feel so sorry for Mike.  Nothing is simple is it?  I have no idea what he should do.  I'd probably escape in a book, since you said he likes to read.  It's too bad his wife didn't take some of the inheritance and have a septic system and running water put in that house and then sell it.  That might have been too expensive though.  I'd be concerned about her sons.   Keep those boys over on the island! 

Tntthomas, my husband is one of those who goes fishing a lot.  Usually once a week, sometimes two.  But his favorite fishing spots have went up in smoke just in the last week or so, due to the crazy wildfire that's been going on over a month in our area.  He also likes to work on cars and has a 66 Mustang he is fixing up.  He was a carpenter for over 40 years so he does projects around the house occasionally.  (When I can catch him  I think he is handling his retirement pretty well even though he has had 2 bouts of different kinds of cancer and also a hernia operation since he retired.  BUT he still misses working and I think the travel involved with his job.  I miss it a little too as sometimes I'd go with him and we both miss the income.  I am now sorry I talked him into taking early retirement.  He retired at 62 and he's now almost 71.  I can't tell my retirement story as I never worked enough to really "retire", even though I had a job for several years it was something I enjoyed.  Mostly I was a mom and housewife.


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## Dreamplanter (Sep 17, 2015)

*Volunteering, definitely!*



fishfulthinking said:


> Volunteering



There are so many opportunities for a retiree to offer his skills, etc., to others.


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## imp (Sep 20, 2015)

IKE said:


> I retired April 1st (at 65 + 3 months)and so far have kept occupied with yard work, going to the outdoor gun range two or three times a week for a couple hours, painting the house exterior and just general piddling around.
> 
> Mama is a couple years younger and won't retire till around Sept. of 2017 so for now I'm piddling around during the day alone.
> 
> ...



Ike, you could consider doing battle here on the forum more often!    At least that would cover the "idle" mind consideration!   imp


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## Sunny (Sep 27, 2015)

I agree with the person who said, "Volunteering."  At least, that would be a place to start. He could generously share his talents with others, in places where his help is desperately needed.


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## Butterfly (Sep 27, 2015)

IKE said:


> I retired April 1st (at 65 + 3 months)and so far have kept occupied with yard work, going to the outdoor gun range two or three times a week for a couple hours, painting the house exterior and just general piddling around.
> 
> Mama is a couple years younger and won't retire till around Sept. of 2017 so for now I'm piddling around during the day alone.
> 
> ...




If you are on Medicare, you get a benefit called "silver sneakers" which allows you a free gym membership in many gyms.  You could go to one of those and walk on the treadmill or use whatever other equipment you like.  OR, you could get your own treadmill.  I have one and it's great for times when the weather is terrible, but doesn't get you out of the house.

I recently discovered that a couple of the big hospitals here have indoor walking tracks a person can use, particularly if the hospital has a cardio rehab program. 

Call your local Y and ask if they have suggestions, or ask at a physical therapy center.  They usually know what is available.


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## IKE (Sep 28, 2015)

I had my every four month routine checkup and pee and blood work two weeks ago and I mentioned to my long time doctor (he just turned 75) that I had been walking 21 miles a week and after getting over the shock  he ask how that was affecting my bad lower back or any other part of my body.

I told him my back was tender the first few weeks but it had passed, then I mentioned (shouldn't have) that my left hip had been bothering me a little and was a little tender when laying in bed on that side. He ask if it had started since I started walking and I said, "come to think of it, yes".........he told me to back off on my daily three mile walks to every other day and see if things changed.

I'm fairly certain that I'll be winning the Powerball lotto pretty soon  and when I do I'm going to put in a lap pool for lower impact exercise.

Butterfly thank you for the tip on the 'silver sneakers' benefit.......I look into it.


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## Ken N Tx (Sep 28, 2015)

IKE said:


> I had my every four month routine checkup and pee and blood work two weeks ago and I mentioned to my long time doctor (he just turned 75) that I had been walking 21 miles a week and after getting over the shock  he ask how that was affecting my bad lower back or any other part of my body.
> 
> I told him my back was tender the first few weeks but it had passed, then I mentioned (shouldn't have) that my left hip had been bothering me a little and was a little tender when laying in bed on that side. He ask if it had started since I started walking and I said, "come to think of it, yes".........he told me to back off on my daily three mile walks to every other day and see if things changed.
> 
> ...



Jump on I35 South to WinStar...Free breakfast Wednesday and Thursday..

CLICK HERE


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## IKE (Sep 28, 2015)

Ken N Tx said:


> Jump on I35 South to WinStar...Free breakfast Wednesday and Thursday..
> 
> CLICK HERE



Ken,

WinStar Casino would be about a 210 mile round trip drive for me so the bacon & eggs wouldn't be all that free by the time you figured in the cost of gas. 

I only live about five miles from the fairly new Riverwind Casino just off I-35 and I'm sure they probably have some senior discounts in place for different things also but I've just never had the urge to go in the place.......but then again I'd never taken into consideration of them possibly having FREE bacon, eggs & flapjacks either.


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## Ken N Tx (Sep 29, 2015)

IKE said:


> Ken,
> 
> WinStar Casino would be about a 210 mile round trip drive for me so the bacon & eggs wouldn't be all that free by the time you figured in the cost of gas.
> 
> I only live about five miles from the fairly new Riverwind Casino just off I-35 and I'm sure they probably have some senior discounts in place for different things also but I've just never had the urge to go in the place.......but then again I'd never taken into consideration of them possibly having FREE bacon, eggs & flapjacks either.



I hear ya....But if you win, at the slots, it could pay for the round trip!!


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