# 'tis a question for all you Mommas, when can you stop worrying about your children?



## Ruby Rose (Jan 5, 2021)

I am not sure where to put this so will put it here. A while back I penned 'Matren Emeritus...a Mother retired...from worrying about her children'... seeing that they are all grown up and doing their thing...one a Policewoman, another Military and a third a Philosopher.


----------



## Aunt Marg (Jan 5, 2021)

Gosh, Ruby... I've always been a worrywart when it came to my children, and honestly, I'm not sure if I worried more about them more when they were little, like as in when they started walking to school by themselves, etc, or when they got older and started driving, partying, etc.

I don't think a day passes where I don't think about and wonder what my kids are up to, and I always carry the thought with me... _I hope they're okay._

I remember visiting with a neighbour one morning, and us talking about this very thing, and I remember telling her how much I enjoyed the baby and toddler stage, which seemed to take her aback somewhat, so I explained.

When my kids got into something they shouldn't, I was there to remove them from the situation, and when I needed to get a few things done in the home and not have to worry about my them, into their cribs and playpen they'd go, and as I was finishing explaining my side of things to my neighbour as why I felt the way I did, she was already nodding her head in approval.

We had full control, but once we seen them out the door, they were on their own, and it was up to them to reflect on the good guidance and teachings they received, to do the right thing, to chose between good and bad, right and wrong.


----------



## Ruby Rose (Jan 5, 2021)

The thing is I have always felt the need to protect each and every one to this date...and get a lot of 'Oh Mom'...(especially from the policewoman and military.) The time when I worried the most was when they started dating! I always remembered my own Mother stating that she never fell asleep until she heard the last one come in and lock the door. I do believe I have inherited this trait. (did I mention I was an insomniac for a long time...just like my Mother).  I, also, thoroughly enjoyed the baby and toddler stage and I fear I was a tad strict in some ways...had many lists of dos and don'ts part and parcel of working in a Paediatric Clinic before I got married, thus had armfuls of info on the task at hand. And, of course, coming from a large family, rules ruled.


----------



## CinnamonSugar (Jan 5, 2021)

Love my kids and do my best not to worry about them
Still, there's that part of a mom that never fully lets go I guess


----------



## Lewkat (Jan 5, 2021)

Never.


----------



## Aunt Marg (Jan 5, 2021)

Ruby Rose said:


> The thing is I have always felt the need to protect each and every one to this date...and get a lot of 'Oh Mom'...(especially from the policewoman and military.) The time when I worried the most was when they started dating! I always remembered my own Mother stating that she never fell asleep until she heard the last one come in and lock the door. I do believe I have inherited this trait. (did I mention I was an insomniac for a long time...just like my Mother).  I, also, thoroughly enjoyed the baby and toddler stage and I fear I was a tad strict in some ways...had many lists of dos and don'ts part and parcel of working in a Paediatric Clinic before I got married, thus had armfuls of info on the task at hand. And, of course, coming from a large family, rules ruled.


Well, I definitely inherited the "worry" gene from my mom, because she, too, worried about us all the time. 

I remember my baby brother getting loosing track of time on day and as the clock ticked, mom went from worry, to being frantic, to seeing red. Finally out the door she went and she found him just a few blocks away from the school, playing in a large pile of raked-up leaves in a homeowners yard. Baby brother would have been around age 6 or 7 at the time.

Myself, I was fair but strict, so I know all about being firm, Ruby. The fair side of me would reason with my children, scold them, etc, whereas with my strict side they got a spanking, a grounding, or other measure of punishment/discipline that I felt was in order at the time.

I recall my mom laughing while telling me, but she used to make telephone calls to my friends mothers to check up on me, make sure I was where I told her I was going to be, and she did the same with my baby siblings.

Back in the 80's and 90's, when I had little ones running around, times were still pretty good, less worrisome than today for sure, but if I was raising little ones today, I'd be a basket-case.


----------



## Aunt Marg (Jan 5, 2021)

CinnamonSugar said:


> Love my kids and do my best not to worry about them
> Still, *there's that part of a mom that never fully lets go* I guess


That's me, Cinnamon.


----------



## Aunt Marg (Jan 5, 2021)

Lewkat said:


> Never.


So true in many ways.

A family member was venting one day and said, "_when are my parenting days going to end_", and I told her, "_never_".

I followed up by saying, "_once a parent, always a parent, it never goes away_".


----------



## Pepper (Jan 5, 2021)

I don't worry.  He has a fantastic marriage and they both have steady, good jobs and are devoted to their son.

Of course, I worry about morose things from time to time but that's 'cause I'm morose, a character flaw.  I let the sound of my own wheels drive me crazy.  Working on that!


----------



## Ruth n Jersey (Jan 5, 2021)

I will never stop worrying. I'm noticing the older I get the more I worry. Things I wouldn't have given a second thought about ten years ago put me in a tailspin. 
I never let on that I worry so much because I would get the eyes rolling back in their heads or worse yet they wouldn't tell me things until after its over or if  at all and not knowing would be the greatest worry of all.


----------



## OneEyedDiva (Jan 5, 2021)

I find that I still worry about my son sometimes and he's 52 years old. I suspect I will never stop, though I try to operate on the premise that I'm "putting him in God's hands".


----------



## Ruby Rose (Jan 5, 2021)

Ruth n Jersey said:


> I will never stop worrying. I'm noticing the older I get the more I worry. Things I wouldn't have given a second thought about ten years ago put me in a tailspin.
> I never let on that I worry so much because I would get the eyes rolling back in their heads or worse yet they wouldn't tell me things until after its over or if  at all and not knowing would be the greatest worry of all.


I get a statement like..."Do I look any different to you Momma?"...and this would be a few days after an incident while on the job. So naturally at that point there was nothing to see. All I got after that was 'good'. Living out here in the middle of nowhere, I am doing pretty good...ha ha, I worry about the horses , etc now and they don't mind one bit.


----------



## Ruby Rose (Jan 5, 2021)

Aunt Marg said:


> So true in many ways.
> 
> A family member was venting one day and said, "_when are my parenting days going to end_", and I told her, "_never_".
> 
> I followed up by saying, "_once a parent, always a parent, it never goes away_".


That's it in a nutshell...you will always be a parent...no matter what age you are and how far you live.


----------



## debbie in seattle (Jan 5, 2021)

You never do, or at least I don’t.


----------



## Ruby Rose (Jan 5, 2021)

OneEyedDiva said:


> I find that I still worry about my son sometimes and he's 52 years old. I suspect I will never stop, though I try to operate on the principle that I'm "putting him in the hands of God".


As do I...but isn't it wonderful when they call for advice?


----------



## OneEyedDiva (Jan 5, 2021)

Ruby Rose said:


> As do I...but isn't wonderful when they call for advice?


It *is* nice when he does, but that's rare.


----------



## Pepper (Jan 5, 2021)

Ruby Rose said:


> As do I...but isn't wonderful when they call for advice?


It's a privilege!


----------



## jujube (Jan 5, 2021)

Never, ever.   My mother worried from her deathbed at 95 that we weren't getting enough sleep or eating right.


----------



## Kathleen’s Place (Jan 5, 2021)

I would think we will always worry, which equates to “care” in my eyrs, about our kids. I don’t worry on a daily basis. They are all fine, middle aged, men and doing well in life. But I worry when I know they are traveling, and I worry when they are sick. Or if they lost their jobs, I would worry. And I find it kind of cute and heartwarming that now they worry about ME!


----------



## Aneeda72 (Jan 5, 2021)

I worry about mine all time, I am a worrywort


----------



## Warrigal (Jan 5, 2021)

In all things I refuse to worry about things over which I have no control. I watch and wait, and should I be able to do something to help, I take action. I find that fruitless worry is destructive and I prefer to stay strong until the moment when I can be useful. 

I raised our two children to be the captains of their own lives, knowing that I am here for them when needed. Both have made some mistakes and Hubby and I have been supportive through difficult times. Given that we are now grown old, it is their turn to guide their adult children and, watching over them all, I reckon we have done a pretty good job as parents (and grandparents) and I refuse to worry about any of them any more. They all know where to find me if they need me.


----------



## Ruby Rose (Jan 5, 2021)

Warrigal said:


> In all things I refuse to worry about things over which I have no control. I watch and wait, and should I be able to do something to help, I take action. I find that fruitless worry is destructive and I prefer to stay strong until the moment when I can be useful.
> 
> I raised our two children to be the captains of their own lives, knowing that I am here for them when needed. Both have made some mistakes and Hubby and I have been supportive through difficult times. Given that we are now grown old, it is their turn to guide their adult children and, watching over them all, I reckon we have done a pretty good job as parents (and grandparents) and I refuse to worry about any of them any more. They all know where to find me if they need me.


I admire your words and I deem you 'Matren Emeritus...a Mother retired'...from worrying about her children. As for me, I am really trying and most of the time put up a good front but alas, I know and my children know that I will always worry in my heart.


----------



## Ruby Rose (Jan 5, 2021)

Aneeda72 said:


> I worry about mine all time, I am a worrywort


Me too but don't tell them!


----------



## Ruby Rose (Jan 5, 2021)

jujube said:


> Never, ever.   My mother worried from her deathbed at 95 that we weren't getting enough sleep or eating right.


I don't worry about their sleep or eating habits anymore. I find that the world is so different from when we were growing up...I read about and see elements that are simply bad and I fear for the future of my grandchildren.


----------



## Aunt Marg (Jan 5, 2021)

Ruth n Jersey said:


> I will never stop worrying. I'm noticing the older I get the more I worry. Things I wouldn't have given a second thought about ten years ago put me in a tailspin.
> I never let on that I worry so much because I would get the eyes rolling back in their heads or worse yet they wouldn't tell me things until after its over or if  at all and not knowing would be the greatest worry of all.


I'm the same, Ruth.

Some things that might have set me off when I was younger, don't figure in now that I'm older, yet some things that never fazed me when I was younger, now have a way of turning me, along with my rocking chair upside-down.


----------



## Kathleen’s Place (Jan 5, 2021)

Ruby Rose said:


> I am not sure where to put this so will put it here. A while back I penned 'Matren Emeritus...a Mother retired...from worrying about her children'... seeing that they are all grown up and doing their thing...one a Policewoman, another Military and a third a Philosopher.


Would love to attend one of your family  dinners!!!  The conversations must be fun and interesting!!!!


----------



## Kathleen’s Place (Jan 5, 2021)

Ruby Rose said:


> I admire your words and I deem you 'Matren Emeritus...a Mother retired'...from worrying about her children. As for me, I am really trying and most of the time put up a good front but alas, I know and my children know that I will always worry in my heart.


Ruby, if one of my kids was a policeman...oh hell YES I would worry!!!!  I’d had a wall of novena candles lit and a rosary in each hand!!!!!


----------



## Ruby Rose (Jan 5, 2021)

Kathleen’s Place said:


> Would love to attend one of your family  dinners!!!  The conversations must be fun and interesting!!!!


And noisy, especially with the French and English mixed up in the same room!


----------



## Ruby Rose (Jan 5, 2021)

Kathleen’s Place said:


> Ruby, if one of my kids was a policeman...oh hell YES I would worry!!!!  I’d had a wall of novena candles lit and a rosary in each hand!!!!!


Thanks for reminding me, and thank goodness she has now retired from the police force.


----------



## Gardenlover (Jan 5, 2021)

Playing the devils advocate here, but isn't it rather sexist to limit it to mothers? I worry about my children more than my wife does.


----------



## Ruby Rose (Jan 5, 2021)

Gardenlover said:


> Playing the devils advocate here, but isn't rather sexist to limit it to mothers? I worry about my children more than my wife does.


Touché!


----------



## RadishRose (Jan 5, 2021)

Lewkat said:


> Never.


Exactly.


----------



## RadishRose (Jan 5, 2021)

Kathleen’s Place said:


> Ruby, if one of my kids was a policeman...oh hell YES I would worry!!!! I’d had a wall of novena candles lit and a rosary in each hand!!!!!


I'd be in the convent!


----------



## Aunt Marg (Jan 5, 2021)

Gardenlover said:


> Playing the devils advocate here, *but isn't rather sexist to limit it to mothers?* I worry about my children more than my wife does.


I don't think so.

Traditionally, mothers were the ones who have always stayed at home to take care of the home and children, not the fathers, and while worry isn't limited motherhood, I see the thread topic title as being perfectly appropriate.


----------



## Kathleen’s Place (Jan 5, 2021)

Ruby Rose said:


> Thanks for reminding me, and thank goodness she has now retired from the police force.


Oh good, then I won’t have to add her to my worry list!!!


----------



## Sassycakes (Jan 5, 2021)

*To be perfectly honest I worry about my husband, children, and grandchildren every minute of everyday. I blame it on my Dad. He was always worried about the family. I remember so clearly when I was 20yrs old and he stopped over my house. He saw me laying on the couch and he asked if I was OK. I said I just had a headache and he said "I can't believe you have a headache and I was singing at work today."*


----------



## Kathleen’s Place (Jan 5, 2021)

Sassycakes said:


> *To be perfectly honest I worry about my husband, children, and grandchildren every minute of everyday. I blame it on my Dad. He was always worried about the family. I remember so clearly when I was 20yrs old and he stopped over my house. He saw me laying on the couch and he asked if I was OK. I said I just had a headache and he said "I can't believe you have a headache and I was singing at work today."*


Aw!  I LOVE that


----------



## Warrigal (Jan 5, 2021)

Gardenlover said:


> Playing the devils advocate here, but isn't rather sexist to limit it to mothers? I worry about my children more than my wife does.


So does my husband but if he doesn't have anything to worry about he goes looking for something new to worry about. He is the chief worry wort of the family. I am the placid lake of tranquility.


----------



## Kathleen’s Place (Jan 5, 2021)

Warrigal said:


> So does my husband but if he doesn't have anything to worry about he goes looking for something new to worry about. He is the chief worry wort of the family. I am the placid lake of tranquility.


I used to be a worry wort...when I was younger. I could take a grain of sand and worry it into Mt Everest in a matter of hours. Husband was my “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” pillar and bring me back to earth person. Now we are both pretty much “Don’t Worry, cuz every little thing is gonna to be all right” type people.


----------



## Warrigal (Jan 5, 2021)

It helps to realise that I am not responsible for the spinning of the earth about its axis nor its orbit of the sun. For every bad day, a new day, with new possibilities, will dawn and things always look less dire after a good sleep.

Have I mentioned that I am the optimist in our household? Hubby is the perennial pessimist. We don't need two of either one.


----------



## grahamg (Jan 5, 2021)

Aunt Marg said:


> I don't think so.
> Traditionally, mothers were the ones who have always stayed at home to take care of the home and children, not the fathers, and while worry isn't limited motherhood, I see the thread topic title as being perfectly appropriate.


You answered whether it was sexist to pose a question as to whether mothers ever stop worrying, (rather than both parents say).

I'll agree with you that the thread topic is appropriate, and could leave my comments right there as a father, but am just tempted to mention the real fears for their children some fathers feel following divorce or separation, when the mother introduces her new love into the lives of our children.


----------



## Aunt Marg (Jan 5, 2021)

grahamg said:


> You answered whether it was sexist to pose a question as to whether mothers ever stop worrying, (rather than both parents say).
> 
> I'll agree with you that the thread topic is appropriate, and could leave my comments right there as a father, but am just tempted to mention the real fears for their children some fathers feel following divorce or separation, when the mother introduces her new love into the lives of our children.


I can't imagine the anxiety and upset a father would feel (and suffer).


----------



## grahamg (Jan 5, 2021)

Aunt Marg said:


> I can't imagine the anxiety and upset a father would feel (and suffer).


It varies I'd say, and fairly obviously some situations are worse than others, for example my ex., who accurately described herself as "a warrior", was a dominant enough person that my fears about her new man were tempered by knowing she'd stop our child being physically abused or molested by her new love.
Other excluded fathers are less fortunate, especially when their children are introduced to multiple or repeated introductions of new partners.


----------



## Aunt Marg (Jan 5, 2021)

grahamg said:


> It varies I'd say, and fairly obviously some situations are worse than others, for example my ex., who accurately described herself as "a warrior", was a dominant enough person that my fears about her new man were tempered by knowing she'd stop our child being physically abused or molested by her new love.
> Other excluded fathers are less fortunate, especially when their children are introduced to multiple or repeated introductions of new partners.


Definitely not a healthy and happy position to be in.


----------



## grahamg (Jan 6, 2021)

Aunt Marg said:


> Definitely not a healthy and happy position to be in.


Its one case where the best interests of the child truly runs up against whatever makes the mother happy at any particular time, and again some haphazard assessment as to whether keeping mom happy equals best interests of the child regardless!
I'm aware I'm highjacking the thread here, so apologies, and I'll leave it be now.


----------



## Warrigal (Jan 6, 2021)

grahamg said:


> You answered whether it was sexist to pose a question as to whether mothers ever stop worrying, (rather than both parents say).
> 
> I'll agree with you that the thread topic is appropriate, and could leave my comments right there as a father, but am just tempted to mention the real fears for their children some fathers feel following divorce or separation, when the mother introduces her new love into the lives of our children.


Understandable.


----------



## Gardenlover (Jan 6, 2021)

Warrigal said:


> So does my husband but if he doesn't have anything to worry about he goes looking for something new to worry about. He is the chief worry wort of the family. I am the placid lake of tranquility.


Your husband sounds a lot like me in this regard.


----------



## Aunt Marg (Jan 6, 2021)

Was just giving more thought to this thread, and I can't say I remember anyone (parents) from back in my childhood days that never worried about their children, and while I by no means am suggesting that today's generation of parents aren't as caring, or of the same worrying type, I do tend to think because of the more strict atmosphere that was present when I was growing up, I do believe a higher sense of responsibility was at play, more so than today, where parents typically don't know their own children's friends parents, and vice-versa, and half the time don't even know what their children are up to or where they are.

For those who disagree with me, feel free to burn me at the stake.

Just an observation from an old-fashioned mom.


----------



## Aneeda72 (Jan 6, 2021)

Aunt Marg said:


> Was just giving more thought to this thread, and I can't say I remember anyone (parents) from back in my childhood days that never worried about their children, and while I by no means am suggesting that today's generation of parents aren't as caring, or of the same worrying type, I do tend to think because of the more strict atmosphere that was present when I was growing up, I do believe a higher sense of responsibility was at play, more so than today, where parents typically don't know their own children's friends parents, and vice-versa, and half the time don't even know what their children are up to or where they are.
> 
> For those who disagree with me, feel free to burn me at the stake.
> 
> Just an observation from an old-fashioned mom.


Hmm, got my stake just about ready


----------



## Aunt Marg (Jan 6, 2021)

Aneeda72 said:


> Hmm, got my stake just about ready


So long as you leave the matches out of it, I'm good with that! LOL!


----------



## Ruby Rose (Jan 6, 2021)

Aunt Marg said:


> I don't think so.
> 
> Traditionally, mothers were the ones who have always stayed at home to take care of the home and children, not the fathers, and while worry isn't limited motherhood, I see the thread topic title as being perfectly appropriate.


I really like the way you write back on various topics especially close to your heart...for some reason one of Kenny Rodgers tunes comes to mind....'you know how to hold them and you know how to fold them....


----------



## Aunt Marg (Jan 6, 2021)

Ruby Rose said:


> I really like the way you write back on various topics especially close to your heart...for some reason one of Kenny Rodgers tunes comes to mind....'you know how to hold them and you know how to fold them....


Awww... thank you so kindly, Ruby! 

You just made my day. 

Yes, what a befitting song!


----------



## grahamg (Jan 6, 2021)

Ruby Rose said:


> I really like the way you write back on various topics especially close to your heart...for some reason one of Kenny Rodgers tunes comes to mind....'you know how to hold them and you know how to fold them....


Here he goes:


----------



## Ruby Rose (Jan 6, 2021)

Aunt Marg said:


> Was just giving more thought to this thread, and I can't say I remember anyone (parents) from back in my childhood days that never worried about their children, and while I by no means am suggesting that today's generation of parents aren't as caring, or of the same worrying type, I do tend to think because of the more strict atmosphere that was present when I was growing up, I do believe a higher sense of responsibility was at play, more so than today, where parents typically don't know their own children's friends parents, and vice-versa, and half the time don't even know what their children are up to or where they are.
> 
> For those who disagree with me, feel free to burn me at the stake.
> 
> Just an observation from an old-fashioned mom.


Have to tell you how close a grip I had at times with my kids when toddlers and we were living on the base...as my mother used to do, I tied them to the long clothesline with a lengthy rope of course...they got their fresh air, I could see them out the window and continued my chores.


----------



## Ruby Rose (Jan 6, 2021)

grahamg said:


> Here he goes:


Thank you...thank you...you made my day as I listened, sang along and danced away to one of my favourite singers!


----------



## Aunt Marg (Jan 6, 2021)

Ruby Rose said:


> Have to tell you how close a grip I had at times with my kids when toddlers and we were living on the base...as my mother used to do, I tied them to the long clothesline with a lengthy rope of course...they got their fresh air, I could see them out the window and continued my chores.


OMG, I so remember the days!

I never did it with my own, but definitely remember a couple of neighbourhood mothers that I babysat for that did.

Boy, can you imagine the stir such would cause now, Ruby?

I can see it now... _CHILD ABUSE... SHE'S NEGLECTING HER CHILD/CHILDREN... THE CHILD IS IN DANGER_! LOL!


----------



## Ruby Rose (Jan 6, 2021)

Aunt Marg said:


> OMG, I so remember the days!
> 
> I never did it with my own, but definitely remember a couple of neighbourhood mothers that I babysat for that did.
> 
> ...


Speaking of baby-sitting...I hated babysitting for others because I did so much of it at home which I did not mind. But my sweet Mama would brag about me and I was sent to babysit in the evening for a couple of neighbours pour des sous seulements. Did not appeal to me in the least especially when they left a sink full of dishes to wash (no dishwashers to be had in those days) or even a pile of ironing to do. Also, of course no TV anywhere just a radio which I always had on with Boston Blackie, etc being Favourites. To keep awake, I would listen (don't laugh now) to a boxing match (my Dad boxed) and no kidding as soon as the bell rang and it was counted and yelled out, 'you are out', the people were just unlocking their door. Must admit had a bit of a nap during but was always saved by the bell. No one ever knew this. I finally got my Mama to stop!


----------



## Aunt Marg (Jan 6, 2021)

Ruby Rose said:


> Speaking of baby-sitting...I hated babysitting for others because I did so much of it at home which I did not mind. But my sweet Mama would brag about me and I was sent to babysit in the evening for a couple of neighbours pour des sous seulements. Did not appeal to me in the least especially when they left a sink full of dishes to wash (no dishwashers to be had in those days) or even a pile of ironing to do. Also, of course no TV anywhere just a radio which I always had on with Boston Blackie, etc being Favourites. To keep awake, I would listen (don't laugh now) to a boxing match (my Dad boxed) and no kidding as soon as the bell rang and it was counted and yelled out, 'you are out', the people were just unlocking their door. Must admit had a bit of a nap during but was always saved by the bell. No one ever knew this. I finally got my Mama to stop!


Oh my goodness, yes, that was me, too, Ruby! 

I didn't have much of a direct hand in the care of my baby sister right under me, born in 1966, other than being my moms little helper, but baby siblings born after I sure did, and with the last two born in 1971 and 1973, this big sister was like a second mother.

I do remember feeling obligated to wash dishes, clean-up, and do this and that whenever I babysat in and around the neighbourhood, but having such a love of helping at home with my baby siblings for so many years, along with pitching-in and helping my mom with other household chores and duties, it was just in me to act like a real mom whenever I babysat. I really used to take charge, and I was no-nonsense.

Meals, snacks, bottles (including making homemade baby food and formula), dishes, laundry (including washing and folding diapers)... no Pampers in those days, not where I babysat... and so much more.

As for babysitting duties at home, Friday night was babysitting night for me always, and surprisingly, I never harvested any resentment towards the fact, even though I never got paid for it, though mom was good about giving me a little something from time to time to put towards a new pair of pants, a top, or something that I was in need of or wanting.

Also used to babysit for an aunt every Wednesday night (her Bongo night).

One thing I do remember is my mom always offering up my services as a babysitter. LOL! I would get home from school and mom would be beaming... "_oh honey_" she'd say, "_Mrs. so and so needs you to babysit tonight, and I told her you would_", so on that front I never struggled to find babysitting jobs, but like so many other old-fashioned babysitters in those days, .25¢ an hour was my rate of pay, and it didn't matter how much effort I put into cleaning and tidying, how many kids I was in charge of, or how many hours I sat for, I got the same .25¢ an hour.

Fast-forward to when I welcomed my first, all of the babysitting I did sure made me a better mom. I'd be silly to say I knew it all, but I sure had a good handle on the basics.

As for taking an occasional nap or tipping-off when babysitting (outside my childhood home), it happened to me, too, especially on those all nighters, where 10:00 pm turned into 12:30 am, and where 12:30 am turned into 2:30 am.

One good wake up call for me when I used to babysit, was the two fulltime summer babysitting I did for two separate moms, separate years apart. Monday to Friday, 7:30 am to 3:30 pm (all summer). You really get a taste for what real motherhood is all about. I actually spent so much time at the one job, that my mom used to walk across the street to check in on me every now and then, even though I was 18 at that time.


----------



## Tish (Jan 6, 2021)

Not sure about the rest of you, but I still worry about my adult children.
I doubt that will change, I have always been overprotective about them.


----------



## MarciKS (Jan 6, 2021)

i am not anyone's momma but i worry about other people's children. i care about people i work with so i tend to worry about them no matter whose kid they are or what age they are. so i'm going with never.

i'm in my 50s and my folks still worry about me.


----------



## Aunt Marg (Jan 6, 2021)

Ruby Rose said:


> *Speaking of baby-sitting...I hated babysitting for others because I did so much of it at home* which I did not mind. But my sweet Mama would brag about me and I was sent to babysit in the evening for a couple of neighbours pour des sous seulements. Did not appeal to me in the least especially when they left a sink full of dishes to wash (no dishwashers to be had in those days) or even a pile of ironing to do. Also, of course no TV anywhere just a radio which I always had on with Boston Blackie, etc being Favourites. To keep awake, I would listen (don't laugh now) to a boxing match (my Dad boxed) and no kidding as soon as the bell rang and it was counted and yelled out, 'you are out', the people were just unlocking their door. Must admit had a bit of a nap during but was always saved by the bell. No one ever knew this. I finally got my Mama to stop!


Was there a big age gap between you and your baby siblings, Ruby?

Another member and I were just chatting about this very thing a handful of days ago on another thread, how we had a helping-hand in the care of our baby siblings. Feeding, changing, etc, etc.

Was it the same for you, too? Making bottles, preparing formula, changing diapers?


----------



## Phoenix (Jan 6, 2021)

Never.  Murphy's Law.


----------



## Ruby Rose (Jan 6, 2021)

Aunt Marg said:


> Was there a big age gap between you and your baby siblings, Ruby?
> 
> Another member and I were just chatting about this very thing a handful of days ago on another thread, how we had a helping-hand in the care of our baby siblings. Feeding, changing, etc, etc.
> 
> Was it the same for you, too? Making bottles, preparing formula, changing diapers?


My Mom had the first five in five years...then the other three with miscarriages in between...so I gather we would have been 10 children in all, across the span of ten years. I was taught early.


----------



## Aunt Marg (Jan 6, 2021)

Ruby Rose said:


> My Mom had the first five in five years...then the other three with miscarriages in between...so I gather we would have been 10 children in all, across the span of ten years. I was taught early.


Oh my word, I should say so that your mom taught you early!


----------



## hellomimi (Jan 13, 2021)

In my pre divorce self, I worried about my kids' future, if they will remember all I taught them, especially, handling finances. Post divorce after deep reflection, I learned to let go of things I have no control. I live for the here and now. I tell my kids to find their niche and as long as they're happy, mom is happier . 

Dad left us more than enough for this lifetime but he knew I will not squander valuable resources. I'm proud to say my kids take pride in their achievements, they're not moochers.

When my mind is idle, that's when I begin to worry so I keep myself busy as much as I can. No worry, be happy. Life is wonderful


----------

