# Do I rent an apartment or buy a mobile home?  What’s the best long term solution since I am 72?



## Aneeda72 (May 7, 2019)

I simply can’t decide.  I am too emotional right now to be making decisions, yet I have to make decisions.  There are pros and cons of for both places.  It’s my husband, me, and a standard poodle and a 6 month old lab.

Second question:  should I rehome grace, our lab puppy if we decide on the apartment?

Need advice.


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## Aunt Bea (May 7, 2019)

Only you and your husband can make these decisions.

In my case, I would view selling a house and buying a mobile home as trading one burden for another.  If those were my only choices I would keep the house and stay put.

I choose to live in an apartment so I don't have to deal with any upkeep or maintenance.  If my health declines or my financial situation changes, I can move quickly with minimal effort and expense.

Good luck to you and your family.


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## retiredtraveler (May 7, 2019)

Agree with Aunt Bea. Pros/cons pertinent only to your situation. For what it's worth, DW and I plan on selling our home in the next 5 years and going to an apartment for exactly what Aunt Bea stated. This will 'force' us to unburden ourselves and toss, recycle, donate all the things associated with the house.


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## twinkles (May 7, 2019)

i guess i am different---i prefer a mobile home where you have a front and back door---a small yard to take care of-in apartment -to me is too confining


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## Lara (May 7, 2019)

Aneeda72 said:


> It’s my husband, me, and a standard poodle and a 6 month old lab....Second question:  should I rehome grace, our lab puppy if we decide on the apartment?...


Answer to 2nd question: If you are going to be SUPER fit, super patient, and wealthy enough to pay for Vet expenses and training for the next 15 years then I would say "keep him". Some can grow quite large, heavy, and hyper. Hyper is usually caused by not getting enough exercise. And that's whether you live in a house or apartment. A comfy little stroll around the block isn't going to do it. A small yard isn't going to do it. A dog park might work if it's big and lots of playful friendly dogs there.

Cesar Milan recommends when your lab is hyper, to get on a skateboard, on a hill, hold him on a leash, and let him run with you while you hold on for dear life :laugh:. He actually does just that but he's a strong man who is also fearless and a little crazy.

At 70, if you have health issues that keep you from "running with wolves", you should focus on a small quiet lap dog that you have no trouble picking up. It can't be a barker if you're in an apartment.


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## Aneeda72 (May 7, 2019)

Lara, I am leaning towards re homing grace as well.  If she were older it would be different but a large puppy needs room.  Sigh.  You points are very valid.

The mobile looks good to me since it would have a small yard.  I would like a place to put my flowers and yard statues, lol.  Plus lot rent will raise slower than apartment rent.  Can’t stay in the house as it is multi-level.  He should have listened to me,  but never has never does.

With our “luck” we would buy a mobile home and they would sell the park.  Ugh.  This is so hard!


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## Rosemarie (May 7, 2019)

If you buy a mobile home, you still have to pay ground rent, at least here in England you do. You are only buying the home, not the ground it stands on. With two dogs, the apartment would not be practical, so go for the mobile home.


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## SeaBreeze (May 7, 2019)

I agree with Aunt Bea, the best long term solution in your situation would be an apartment, and I really don't like apartments, but sometimes at our age they can be a plus.  Honestly, whether you had an apartment or mobile home, you would have to walk the dogs a couple of times as day for exercise.  Some mobile home parks have units really close to each other and not much yard space, you can't have a fenced yard for the dogs. 

 You won't be able to just let the dogs roam free in a park.  It would be a shame to have to rehome Grace, that is a decision you really should think about and make on your own, she may be happier with a younger family that would take her on long hikes or trips to the beach, but I'm sure she'll miss you.  If you do rehome her, please take the extra care to be absolutely sure that the folks who take her have a yard for her and really want a dog to be part of the family and give her plenty of love and good care.

Good luck in whatever you choose, don't rush too quickly in your decision.


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## Keesha (May 7, 2019)

Long term in your situation I’d go with renting an apartment and rehoming Grace. 

Dogs take a lot of maintenance and you have mentioned many times how much your body aches so having a large dog that doesn’t get walked everyday, isn’t fair to either of you. Also when larger dogs get old and start having problems with their back legs, it’s difficult watching them without being able to pick them up and help them out. When they are this big you can’t help and it’s heartbreaking to deal with. You can always get a small lap dog later if you miss pet companionship. 

Mobile homes are almost always on  leased land so you only own the mobile home. Mobile homes depreciate faster than other homes, although like yourself, I really like them. 

With an apartment, if something goes wrong, it’s NOT your responsibility to fix it; it’s theirs. In your situation , this is really important to consider. Moving into an apartment is a long term plan whereas a mobile home is a step between , in my opinion. 

Good luck whatever you choose


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## Aneeda72 (May 7, 2019)

Well, I thought about what everyone has said, and I was half way to the reality of re homing grace already.  It would be different if she wasn’t a puppy and didn’t love being in our yard but she is and does.  Unfair to lock her up into an apartment or a mobile home.

Koda, on the other hand, while 20 months old, never met a sidewalk he’d like to walk on.  He and my husband are well matched, both like to move as little as possible.  Both like to eat  a lot.  Both like watching cowboys together and taking naps.  Both only get up to potty, then back on their butts.

I spoke to the trainer Grace is with now.  He has a friend who is looking for a dog, his wife died recently and he is lonely.  He said he could afford to pay 400 or 500.  I said no, of course.  Members of the family are not for sale.  If it is a good fit, she will go to him.  He lives out in the country near the trainer.  She will love it there.

Not having grace lets me look at senior apartments or mobile home parks which would be a better fit in our circumstances.  With me already disabled and so many unknowns with the husband.  Plus the senior ones are a bit cheaper.  Plus I’ll have company in a senior place which will be nice.


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## terry123 (May 7, 2019)

Please do not get a mobile home. Tornadoes are drawn to them.  Buy you a condo where pets are allowed.  You have to pu their poop when walked outside but we have several stations with bags for the owner's convenience. My parents had a mobile home and it was so expensive to cool in the summers and heat in the winter. After their deaths we sold it asap as none of is wanted the expense of it . Every time we were under a tornado watch we worried about them as they are magnets for tornadoes!


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## Marie5656 (May 7, 2019)

*About 25 years ago, when I was still single, I moved from an apartment to a double sized mobile home.  I had the advantage of an inheritance from my dad, which allowed me to pay for the home in full.  So my only monthly payments were, and have been my lot rent and utilities.  No property taxes, as I live in a park.
Things to consider.  What is their pet policy? Some only allow a set number of dogs or cats. In my park it is 2.  They plow the road, but we are responsible for driveway, sidewalk shoveling, and mowing our own lawn.  In my case, a neighbor does it for me.  
I pay electric and propane charges. Park pays water and garbage.
Also in my case, my monthly expenses are less than an apartment.  So you want to compare the two.  If you have any specific questions about mobile home living, send me a message.
The final decision is yours and your husband, but at least you know you can ask me questions, if you want.
*


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## Manatee (May 7, 2019)

When we lived in AZ we had a one story townhouse condo.  Because it was a condo, the association did all the outside maintenance.  That included roof, paint, landscaping,etc.   There were a few in the neighborhood that were available for rent.  Most were owner occupied.

It was a 55+ community.


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## Aneeda72 (May 7, 2019)

Thanks guys, but don’t want to buy a condo or townhome.  They are as much as a house and my son would have to get rid of it when we died.  Mobile homes are like cars, easy to transfer.


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## fmdog44 (May 7, 2019)

My concern for renting and mobil home parks is neighbors. Renting puts you at the mercy of who moves in every so often. Mobil home parks vary but I would insist on one that is higher in price as it weeds out the so-called trailer trash.


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## Marie5656 (May 7, 2019)

fmdog44 said:


> My concern for renting and mobil home parks is neighbors. Renting puts you at the mercy of who moves in every so often. Mobil home parks vary but I would insist on one that is higher in price as it weeds out the so-called trailer trash.



I agree. When I was looking for a park for my home, I went to visit 3 before deciding on where to go.  I based my choice on location, how the homes and yards looked and lot rent.  I have not been disappointed with my personal choice.


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## JustBonee (May 7, 2019)

Aunt Bea said:


> I choose to live in an apartment so I don't have to deal with any upkeep or maintenance.  If my health declines or my financial situation changes, I can move quickly with minimal effort and expense.



Same situation here.  ... all the same reasons. 

I'm on my own now, and learning how to make decisions for myself.  Not as terrible as I thought it would be.  And surprisingly,  apartment living came easy to me after over 50 years of home ownership.


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## Geezerette (May 7, 2019)

If you look for over 55 Apts, take a long thorough look! The ads make them look like an endless luau, but not so. I lived in one for 3 years after the all ages apt I loved changed hands & things went sour. The over 55 was nice & well kept with pool & all, but some of the residents were really depressing to be around: they would get lost, let their little dogs poo in the halls, walk outside in ratty bathrobes, & one sad soul who let his catheter bag hang down outside his shorts. And the asst living one I was in getting over my broken leg was all that in spades. 
Moved back onto mixed age after I got out of asst liv & really like it.


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## Aneeda72 (May 7, 2019)

I hadn’t considered the too old group in senior apartments.  Ugh.  Very good point.

Husband is pushing for an apartment, so I asked him if he wants an apartment so much why did we have to buy the house.  Because, he says, I wanted too and you agreed.  No, I didn’t.  I reminded him of the circumstances and how nasty he was cause he hated the apartment.  Oh, yeah.  Well, he says now I want to move back to an apartment.  Why?

Cause I do.  He does because, as I point out to him, he didn’t care if I had trouble with stairs, but now that he has trouble with stairs and he has to do yard work cause I can’t, he wants to move.  He doesn’t want the mobile home, mostly because I want it.  It’s called oppositional defiance disorder.  Which docs now agree he has, along with other issues.

Daughter thinks we need the mobile, son doesn’t care.  Looks like the apartment is going to win.  Now have to take and think about everyone’s opinion on what type of apartment.  Thought senior would be nice, but maybe not.  Sigh.


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## AZ Jim (May 7, 2019)

This is kinda like going to a committee and asking if I should marry A or B....YOU have to live with the result.


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## Aneeda72 (May 7, 2019)

But the committee thinks of things you might not of thought of and is, therefore, very helpful.  Due to my husband’s attitude and what people have written, we will start with the apartment.  It makes sense as we could always buy a mobile later.  Also, it might make sense to rent here in the north, and buy a mobile home in St George for weekends.

The whole family could use a place to get away.  The mobile could go in my husband’s name and son’s name so no title issues when we die.  And I could go down and stay there, if I wanted a break from the winters up here, hmm.  Something to put on the wishful thinking list.

As should I have married A or B, I should have become a nun.


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## RadishRose (May 7, 2019)

Insurance on a trailer is expensive. I would also worry about tornadoes.


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## AZ Jim (May 7, 2019)

Aneeda72 said:


> But the committee thinks of things you might not of thought of and is, therefore, very helpful.  Due to my husband’s attitude and what people have written, we will start with the apartment.  It makes sense as we could always buy a mobile later.  Also, it might make sense to rent here in the north, and buy a mobile home in St George for weekends.
> 
> The whole family could use a place to get away.  The mobile could go in my husband’s name and son’s name so no title issues when we die.  And I could go down and stay there, if I wanted a break from the winters up here, hmm.  Something to put on the wishful thinking list.
> 
> As should I have married A or B, I should have become a nun.


I repeat:  YOU have to live with the decision.


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## Aunt Bea (May 7, 2019)

Aneeda72 said:


> I hadn’t considered the too old group in senior apartments.  Ugh.  Very good point.
> 
> Husband is pushing for an apartment, so I asked him if he wants an apartment so much why did we have to buy the house.  Because, he says, I wanted too and you agreed.  No, I didn’t.  I reminded him of the circumstances and how nasty he was cause he hated the apartment.  Oh, yeah.  Well, he says now I want to move back to an apartment.  Why?
> 
> ...



I would be looking for two apartments! layful:nthego:


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## JustBonee (May 7, 2019)

Geezerette said:


> If you look for over 55 Apts, take a long thorough look! The ads make them look like an endless luau, but not so. I lived in one for 3 years after the all ages apt I loved changed hands & things went sour. The over 55 was nice & well kept with pool & all, but some of the residents were really depressing to be around: they would get lost, let their little dogs poo in the halls, walk outside in ratty bathrobes, & one sad soul who let his catheter bag hang down outside his shorts. And the asst living one I was in getting over my broken leg was all that in spades.
> Moved back onto mixed age after I got out of asst liv & really like it.




My over 55 isn't that 'relaxed' ..lol  ..   People here seem to keep it together,  maybe  because most aren't here with any major health issues.  
I find it to be a fun environment.  Maybe just lucky, but I love my neighbors.


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## Geezerette (May 7, 2019)

Where I live, most apartment complexes require their tenants to purchase renters insurance & & usually can bundle that with your auto ins for a discount.


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## Aneeda72 (May 8, 2019)

AZ Jim,  I don’t think you understand my position.  I have no choices.  He’s decided on an apartment, so an apartment it is.  Yes, I have to live with it, as I have to live with him.  He also wanted to re-home Grace.  He was starting to be mean to her which is another reason I re homed her.

Aunt Bea, No kidding, I’ve even said to him why don’t we get two apartments?  We can get them side by side if you want since you require so much “me” time.  Two smaller apartments costs the same as a bigger apartment in today’s market.  He’s refused. 

It is easy for me to look back and see the mistakes I’ve made.  But impossible to correct them now.  As AZ Jim says, got to live with those decisions.

Bonnie, I’ve been looking at the senior apartments, but have not found any that have openings plus we still have his dog so that limits things as well.


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## hollydolly (May 8, 2019)

Aneeda , excuse me for asking such a personal question...and of course you don't have to reply to it, but why do you stay with this man!!?


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## Ronni (May 8, 2019)

hollydolly said:


> Aneeda , excuse me for asking such a personal question...and of course you don't have to reply to it, but why do you stay with this man!!?



I had the same thought. And yet I understand the mindset.  I continued to allow myself to be victimized for 30+ years because of misplaced loyalty and because of fear.  Leaving my ex was one of the most frightening decisions I have ever had to make, but without question THE most liberating.


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## hollydolly (May 8, 2019)

Me too Ronni, I've been a victim myself, it's hard to leave and must be so much harder in older age, but in all honesty, I would rather be out of that type of situation Aneeda is describing than  live with a man who takes none of her feelings or needs  into consideration , and now we discover he's being ''mean'' to her dog...


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## Leann (May 8, 2019)

Aneeda, I hope somewhere in all of this change, you find something that makes YOU happy. You deserve it.


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## Camper6 (May 8, 2019)

Aneeda72 said:


> I simply can’t decide.  I am too emotional right now to be making decisions, yet I have to make decisions.  There are pros and cons of for both places.  It’s my husband, me, and a standard poodle and a 6 month old lab.
> 
> Second question:  should I rehome grace, our lab puppy if we decide on the apartment?
> 
> Need advice.



The thought of a motor home really appeals to me.  To be able to travel and have your facilities with you is always on my mind.

I'm too old for that now but I think if I had it to do over I would get the motor home.


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## hollydolly (May 8, 2019)

Camper6 said:


> The thought of a motor home really appeals to me.  To be able to travel and have your facilities with you is always on my mind.
> 
> I'm too old for that now but I think if I had it to do over I would get the motor home.



It's not a motor home it's a ''mobile home''....


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## Geezerette (May 8, 2019)

Aneeda, from what you have said about how your husband treats you, it might be a good idea to have a confidential talk with a domestic relations lawyer. People with temperaments like you describe his often become worse if any dementia sets in, and in your dependent situation Id worry about your long term safety, physically & financially


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## Aneeda72 (May 8, 2019)

The testing was the best thing that happened.  He starts therapy this month which he’s never done before-medication, therapy, and anger management.  As to why I stay, where would I go? Yes, Keesha, I have choices.  I could live under a bridge for a short period of time.  But when I woke up in the morning I would be frozen in place unable to move.  Rat food and dead.

All those homeless people that you don’t want in your neighborhoods, where do you suppose the women come from?  How do you think they become homeless?  Of course, I have a choice, just not decent good choices.  He is verbally abusive, but I’m not a door mat anymore.  When he gets that way, I refuse to engage for the most part.  He goes to his room usually.

Over time he has become more and more withdrawn.  I am sad for him but it’s better for me.  And, to be fair, you haven’t heard his side.  Also I let this happen to me, as I grew more ill, I became more dependent.  My dependence enabled his behaviors.  As you see, it takes two.  But he can be a perfectly nice person, and is to most everyone else.

It’s a complicated situation.  But leaving would be a disaster for me.  My situation in general would be much worst.  I have a great many serious medical conditions.  No one, no doctor or social worker has ever suggestioned I leave, and they are aware of my situation.  But, lol, they decided no couples therapy for sure.

Anyway, Grace hasn’t been here for two weeks and I’ve found a new home for her so she will be fine.  I noticed he was not being careful with her, a little heavy handed with the leash.  I won’t be getting another dog or pet.  While I would prefer a mobile home, the apartment is probably just as good.  Maybe better as I think about it.

Having a car, that he can’t drive, gives me a certain level independence.   Although, I can’t drive much or often. It’s up to me to take back my life as much as I can.  That’s the hard part, as I am too nice a person.  I have to start thinking of myself first.  

Plus he has lung cancer, this might make an impact on him.  Remains to be seen.  Anyway, I will be fine. But I appreciate everyone’s concern.


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## hollydolly (May 9, 2019)

So....now that it's almost certain you'll choose an apartment, will you decide to live near where you are now Aneeda.. or would you move to a different area altogether. ?


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## Aneeda72 (May 9, 2019)

Hollydolly,

Thanks for asking.  It is my choice.  We had a discussion and he agreed.

We both like a nearby apartment complex.  It’s all ages (not wild about that) and with what people are saying maybe I don’t want a senior complex. I envisioned a senior complex as being active with no children, lol.  I thought assisted living would have the more needy seniors.  But assisted living is 4000 a month.  Pretty non affordable.

The problem with the nearby complex is one-it doesn’t have Comcast and, well, I need Comcast.  I love Comcast.  The apartment has direct tv.  It would be a hard adjustment, seriously.  This old lady likes her tv shows, lol.  But I guess I could adapt.

Where we live can be far away from the hospital in an ER.  Once when the instant care called an ambulance for me after an hour we went in the car.  The ambulance got stuck in traffic on the freeway.  This is a consideration.  With the lung cancer thing, kinda up in the air, it might be better to find something much closer to the hospital.

Then again, it would be easier to move close by and harder to move further away.  Moving in the middle of the valley would be best.  Nearer the hospital, closer to our son.  The mobile home park met all these location problems.  But was further from his work.  It was never this hard before.  It’s our age, our medical problems, distance from help, and my indecision.

It used to be that when we moved, whoever made the decision, we moved.  Now it’s just complicated.  Opinions are welcome.  Also, apartments are hard to find.  Utah is booming.  Lots of people moving in.  Shortages in houses and no low costs housing, everything is expensive.  We have his dog.  I don’t want to pay double rent, but I might have to in order to insure we have a place.

I think moving nearby, a six month lease, might be best and give us more breathing room.  It’s a big change.  That means a choice between the small two bedroom or the large three bedroom.  A difference of 400 dollars which depending on what the house sells for could be a lot of money.  Then again if he gets increased va benefits it won’t be as bad.

Either way, if he dies, I would have to move to a one bedroom.  Daughter’s house is sold.  She is in a rented cabin till they move in two weeks.  .  Poor son left to deal with us, and my frustration, all by himself.  So many issues, so much stress, and the trip to Disneyland in about three more weeks.  Sigh.


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## hollydolly (May 9, 2019)

It's definitely hard work as we get older to move  without all the other considerations medical or otherwise.. however I think your idea of a 6 month lease  on an apartment  in an area you think might be more  suitable to your needs..hospital, easy distance to stores, perhaps the television service that you would like, and maybe you could think of putting some of your stuff in storage just in the interim, while you make a final decision, it would certainly save you having to move everything twice or 3 times before finding your forever home!!..


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## Aneeda72 (May 9, 2019)

We did rent storage a couple of days ago.  Starting to move stuff in on Friday.  I totally agree, want to make sure he/we like the apartment as last time he didn’t.  Lesson learned!


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## Aneeda72 (May 13, 2019)

In responding to hollydolly, thanks by the way, I realized I had not brought up the issue of wanting to be closer to the hospital.  I mentioned this to him.  The fact that if/when he has chemo he doesn’t want to be so far from the hospital.  It can take an hour or more during peak traffic hours to get there.

At first just mentioned it in passing, then more and more.  Daughter already told him she thinks we should buy a mobile home.  Then yesterday my son chimes in and says he hated the apartment before, he will hate it now.  We need to buy another house, one level, or a mobile home.

YAY!  He finally agreed to a mobile home.  We went and looked at some parks yesterday.  Now, he is really wants to buy one before “it’s gone.”  Lol.


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## WhatInThe (May 13, 2019)

Buying or even renting is getting tricky if not harder for retired seniors in the day and age of the internet. Throw in post bubble paranoia and cya realtors unless your financial numbers fit their formula cash purchases or high credit score is the only way one can get into a new place.  Too many realtors, property managers, dealers etc just want to plug your numbers including monthly income into one of their computer programs. Most seniors are low or fixed income. Doesn't mean we don't have cash or good credit but unless one is going into an actual retirement community many alternatives are out of the picture wether they can be paid for or not. Cash is still king.

Mobile homes unless going into a set up home can get pricey going in. Transport and set up of a home is where alot of the expense is, not the home itself. Also ask about lot fees because one still has to pay utilities, insurance etc. It's that upfront cost that takes away cash for the future.


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## RadishRose (May 13, 2019)

Insurance is a big concern. Not every company will sell policies for mobile homes, and not all will sell in certain states. See an insurance broker to find one for you. 

Pay attention to not only what perils are covered, but also what perils may be excluded, or purchased by an endorsement to the basic policy.


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## hollydolly (May 13, 2019)

I like (static)  Mobile homes... they're a little different  here to those in the USA in that comparatively there are  very few  resident mobile home parks here , ...  Most static home parks are for holidaymakers , ..but that aside anyway..I would buy one , some are really beautiful inside and on pretty parks albeit expensive , often more so than bricks and mortar homes ....BUT....  I would never dream of buying a home, and then having to pay rent on the land forever, and or risk the landlord selling up, or  rents going up every year ..or the land being sold from under you!! 




What is the point of buying a home and still paying rent?...and not low rents either!!?? 

Here's the typical type of UK static mobile home..

https://parkhome-living.co.uk/park-homes-for-sale-and-rent/fangrove-park/homes/1687

These are the rules and regs of Park homes in the UK

https://www.ageuk.org.uk/globalassets/age-uk/documents/factsheets/fs71_park_homes_fcs.pdf


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## RadishRose (May 13, 2019)

This mobile home and park is very nice, HD.

 I considered selling my condo and buying a mobile home when I retired, but what I saw within a reasonable distance didn't suit at the time. I was thinking the rent for the site would be less than my mortgage payment. I still think they're cute tho', but snow damage is always a consideration in my area.


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## hollydolly (May 13, 2019)

You're right RR, the rent for the plot would be cheaper than your mortgage but you've still got to find the price of the Home as well...  of course you could always just rent a mobile home rather than buy !!


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## Aneeda72 (May 13, 2019)

We have found one senior mobile home park that was sold.  They sued, and won the right to buy the land, so they did.  If we buy in that park, we will co op the land and the park, itself, can not be sold.  It’s a very small park, but well kept.  No pool but I don’t swim.  There are three homes for sale that we are planning on looking at.

One is a 2004 double wide, one is a 2018 single wide, and the other is a single but pictures were not on line.  I don’t know how big an issue age is in a mobile home.  There is also a two bedroom 1997 home which I think is too old to buy and too small.  We looked at one home on line, in a different park, which would suit us very well, but when we saw the park it was not kept up.  

The condition of of the park is important.  Overgrown yards bring many critters.  Ugh.  We plan on looking at all the parks with homes for sale before we decide.  It’s impossible to buy another house for now.  The prices are too high and when the market corrects most people will end up-upside down.

We bought this house three years ago.  We should make 50,000 plus when we sell it.  Crazy.


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## hollydolly (May 13, 2019)

Aneeda,  our friend on here 'Pappy'' owns and lives in a park home part of the year. I'm sure  he'd be able to tell you more info about details like how important the age is, and the pitfalls to look out for!!


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## Aneeda72 (May 14, 2019)

We hope to see the mobile homes we are interested in this week.  There is one home I am set on buying, but won’t have a down payment till this house sells unless I can only pay 5%.  Since we only bought this house three years ago, and had a lot of expenses over those three years, we haven’t been able to replenish our savings.


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## Aneeda72 (May 14, 2019)

Well, back to square one.  Sigh.

The financing for a mobile home is insane.  The interest rate is 12%, longest is 23 years.  Plus you have to use an out of state lender which we don’t do.  We went to our credit union and they would give us a home equity loan for 10 years at 12%.  Hmm, no.

So, we either buy another house or rent an apartment.  It’s just too stressful.  Looks like the apartment for now, maybe a house later once the market gets reasonable.


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## SeaBreeze (May 14, 2019)

Can you just rent a mobile home if you don't want to get an apartment, instead of buying?  Seems to me that the apartment is the easiest thing for now, one that accepts pets is best, you do still have Grace, don't you?


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## Aneeda72 (May 15, 2019)

We still have Koda, his dog.  I rehomed Grace.  I hated doing it,  never had such a smart dog.  But a lab puppy needs a yard and he had little patience with her.  Koda is happy laying around.  He’s 18 months now and more settled.  We get him fixed in June and he will settle more.

The apartment is the easiest for now.  My husband is getting really stressed and that’s not good, for him or me.  I am stressed as well.  It is crazy how expensive things are right now.  A sellers market for sure.  He wants to rent now and pay double for a month or so.  I am going to agree to renting starting June 1.

I will stay here till the house sells.  Lol, I could use a break from him, although I will be back and forth between the two places.   He can move into the apartment, with his dog, which should satisfy him.  This should calm him down.  He’s been a bit strange the last couple of days.

I have packed at least half of the house and we have moved it all to storage.  Started throwing away some stuff we don’t use today.  Once we unpack I’ll downsize more.  It’s stupid to keep/have all this stuff when both of us are on the edge of dying in a year or two.  Same with buying a new place, we have to get more realistic.  We have to make it easy for our son.

It’s strange and it must be some kind of denial process where your mind, or spirit, won’t let you face the reality that, yes, your time is coming to an end.  I just talked to my 94 year old mother who is having the same issue.  She just moved to a new apartment.

She passed out in the new place, fell, and broke her ankle.  Was in the hospital, rehab for a week, and then home against medical advice.  (I must have inherited my hatred of those places from her, lol.)  Anyway, her heart caused her to pass out, and the docs said nothing they can do.  Yet, she persist in living as if she had forever and was fine.

Humans are certainly a strange bunch.  Lol.


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## Aneeda72 (May 16, 2019)

Well, when I was on line  today I checked the apartment complex.  It said they had a 2 bedroom 2 bath on the ground floor.  Got him up, went over there, sigh, and they didn’t. But they did have a one bedroom disabled unit.  Took that instead of the three bedroom.  What won’t fit into the apartment we will store in a garage which we will rent.  

This is unit is in a much better spot, and available June 1.  He will move in June 1, with his dog, and I will stay in this house till it sells.  Hopefully fast, as we are paying double rent and I just have enough savings to do this, then my saving will be all gone.  But, with him there and me here, it will be a nice break from each other.

Hopefully everything works out.


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## C'est Moi (May 16, 2019)

Good luck, Aneeda.


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## SeaBreeze (May 16, 2019)

Aneeda72 said:


> Well, when I was on line  today I checked the apartment complex.  It said they had a 2 bedroom 2 bath on the ground floor.  Got him up, went over there, sigh, and they didn’t. But they did have a one bedroom disabled unit.  Took that instead of the three bedroom.  What won’t fit into the apartment we will store in a garage which we will rent.
> 
> This is unit is in a much better spot, and available June 1.  He will move in June 1, with his dog, and I will stay in this house till it sells.  Hopefully fast, as we are paying double rent and I just have enough savings to do this, then my saving will be all gone.  But, with him there and me here, it will be a nice break from each other. Hopefully everything works out.



Hope your house sells fast Aneeda, and the apartment works out for you both.


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## WhatInThe (May 18, 2019)

Mobile home living isn't as easy as one would think. I've checked about downsizing into one. Without whopper size social security checks you're treated like a kid. They want first, last , security. Unless social security and/or pensions, iras are enough regular monthly income they don't want to hear you have investments or money from a house sale coming. Also some parks are like a storage place that comes with a rental increase at least once a year. I've even offered 6 months to years rent at one time. This on top of a good credit score. 

 There are months to months out there which is what I like. I'll even accept application fees, deposits etc. But living off investments can mean irregular income which does not fit these cookie cutter formula's a processes property managers and realtors like to use. Unless a 55 plus community many are geared/priced for a much younger crowd. They're out there but you'll have to hunt and/or relocate.


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## Aneeda72 (May 23, 2019)

There have been complications, there are always complications.  People tell you one thing, someone else tells you something else; and no one knows that they are doing.  Putting the house up for sale next week.  Haven’t been able to paint the deck since it has done nothing but rain and rain is predicted for another two weeks-every single day-rain.

Has to be a conventional loan since we can’t get the deck painted.  Haven’t been able to get an apartment yet.  Lol, the story continues.


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## Colleen (May 23, 2019)

Aneeda72 said:


> There have been complications, there are always complications.  People tell you one thing, someone else tells you something else; and no one knows that they are doing.  Putting the house up for sale next week.  Haven’t been able to paint the deck since it has done nothing but rain and rain is predicted for another two weeks-every single day-rain.
> 
> Has to be a conventional loan since we can’t get the deck painted.  Haven’t been able to get an apartment yet.  Lol, the story continues.



I've been following this post and just want to say...my heart goes out to you. At our age, life decisions shouldn't be so difficult, should they? 

In many ways, we have a similar type of husband. Mine isn't abusive in any way, but he can't make decisions. I've had to do everything, including deciding how his pension should be distributed when he retired in 2001. I knew nothing about those types of things and, now, years later, I know that I made the wrong decision because if he passes away before me, I'll get nothing from his pension. I didn't understand it at the time, but he didn't either so that's the way it was set up. That's the way it's been for 22 years and it makes me very tired.

The only thing he's ever made a decision on was where we were going to live. So far, we've lived in PA, CA, TX, then back to PA (that was my ONLY request) and now AZ. In that short period of time, we've bought 5 houses. None have been "homes" for me except the one in PA when we went back in 2008. We will never have a home paid for and will always have a car payment. He's always been terrible with money and it's taken me a while to start saying "no" to him. Is a $5000 shotgun really necessary for trapshooting?? I didn't think so, but he did. He wore me down until I finally gave in and let him buy it. Did we need a big 4 bedroom/4 bath house with a pool? No...but he wanted it so that's what we got. Three years later, I told him we needed to downsize (my phraseology for...we can't afford this house any more!) so we sold it and live in a much more manageable house.

When he fell from a ladder in 2012 and shattered his left ankle, we lived in PA. Two years later, we moved to AZ. I tried to talk him into buying a home in a retirement community that was all on one level and there was no maintenance for him to do since he had to wear a special brace for his ankle. I loved our town and we had many friends there. Nope...we had to move 2000 miles away where we didn't know anyone. It never mattered what I wanted....in any situation. We can't even agree on what to make for Memorial weekend. I was going to fix one thing...he wants something else.

I feel for you. When you're stuck, there's not much you can do about it and if you depend on someone financially, that makes you even more stuck.

Good luck. Keep us posted on what happens. We care


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## Aneeda72 (May 23, 2019)

Colleen,

Thanks so much for your post.  Difficult husbands make life so much more difficult than it has to be.  I found out his life insurance is not as much as he stated it was so it was so probably just cover bills.  Therefore I am pressured to get rid of this house as soon as possible since we don’t know how the lung cancer thing is going to go.

His pension, if he dies before me, will be almost 400 a month which I will get.  Since I get 800 SSI, it will bring me to 1200 a month.  I will probably be able to get into government senior housing with that income and not be on the street once the life insurance is gone.  Otherwise, currently a single studio apartment is around 1000 a month.

But you need double the cost of the apartment to get one, so I just don’t know how to manage that.  Doctors say I can’t work, sigh.  I would love to get a job again.

I finally told him I was not going to move into an apartment without Comcast.  We lost the deposit, which is against the law, but will deal with that later.  The complex I decided we were moving into said they had an apartment but they don’t.  They either have an apartment ready in mid June or late June.  One is expensive, one is very expensive.  

Course he wants the very expensive one, the three bedroom which we don’t need.  I want the two bedroom disabled unit which may or may not be available in mid June.  But I would settle for the affordable one bedroom, he won’t.  Doesn’t matter since none are available at this time.  We just have to wait.

Son is coming Saturday to help him rearrange the storage unit so we can put more in it.  I am emptying the house of everything I can in case we need to stay in a hotel for a while.  The more I pack the more I notice I need to pack.  Plus the realtor said to hide our medications so they don’t get stolen.  Lovely.

Anyway, hopefully the house sells the first week.  And it closes the end of June.  The apartment can be worked out somehow.  If push comes to shove husband can stay with son and I’ll go to Texas and stay with daughter and family and her six dang dogs.  My doctor would be very unhappy but oh well.  Gotta do what you gotta do.  Lol.


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## Aneeda72 (May 25, 2019)

Just when you think you are making progress.  Sigh.

It was not supposed to rain today so a neighbor came over and helped us paint the deck.  Husband painted the deck itself, a redwood color.  Of course, the old color we used was russet.    Neighbor used the russets to paint the railings.  The deck will now be three colors, redwood, russet, and a natural red sort of color.  Lovely.

Anyway, I told husband to be careful and not get the stain on the siding.  Yup, the stain is splattered on the siding three feet plus up and on the sliding glass door as well.  Splattered on three different types of surfaces.  When I asked him why he did this he gave his usual answer “because I did”.  Sigh.  If he doesn’t get if off the door, I’ll have to replace it.

I gave my usual answer which is, minus the swear words, wash it off.  Course, the water and soap that gets on the deck will wash the stain off.  Plus, it’s started to rain again.  Kill me now.  One step forward, three steps back.

Son came over as well and we put some heavier stuff into the storage so now we’ve moved out about everything we can.  Son also rearranged storage so if we have to put our beds in storage, we can.  Checked on the apartment and the guy that was going take the two bedroom disabled apartment didn’t, yay.  We will take it and it will be ready June 20 or so.

The complex insists they only do one year leases, but I want six months.  If husband is unhappy again, one year will be way too long.  Plus he wanted the three bedroom which is too expensive.  Hopefully we can get the two bedroom on a six month lease. We took down some fencing, so now the RV pad place is restored.  Moved the dog run to the more rustic side of house.

We put the house up for sale on Tuesday.  We are both exhausted.  But I goggled and he’s got to get that stain off tonight, each hour he waits it becomes harder to remove.  He should have listened for once.  Got all the flowers beds weeded and planted annuals.  It looks great.  Hopefully the house will sell fast.


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## Aneeda72 (May 30, 2019)

Our house goes up for sale Saturday.  We have a deposit on an apartment which will be available in late June.  This whole situation is extremely stressful.  I refused a for sale sign in my yard since I live on a dead end.  Also, no open house since open houses don’t sell houses.

People just shop the internet, look at the pictures, and then see the houses that interest them.  We put the house up for less than I wanted/expected to try and get it sold this weekend.  It looks really good.


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## Colleen (May 30, 2019)

Aneeda72 said:


> Our house goes up for sale Saturday.  We have a deposit on an apartment which will be available in late June.  This whole situation is extremely stressful.  I refused a for sale sign in my yard since I live on a dead end.  Also, no open house since open houses don’t sell houses.
> 
> People just shop the internet, look at the pictures, and then see the houses that interest them.  We put the house up for less than I wanted/expected to try and get it sold this weekend.  It looks really good.



You certainly do have your hands full! I can't keep up with you. I thought husband was going to one place and you another. Have you had a doctor evaluate his mental situation? This is not normal. Good luck.


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## Aneeda72 (May 30, 2019)

Colleen,

Thought I had already explained, perhaps I did on another thread, lol.  He had testing done to “prove” me wrong.  I won’t go through the whole thing.  The testing showed he has some degree of mental illness.  Up until the testing was done the doctors believed his side -always.  Since he “appeared” to be so nice.

Once testing was completed, it showed every single problem I had been complaining about including his hostility.  All of a sudden after 47 years, the stupid doctors are worried that I’m in danger.  Really?  Like what have I been saying.  I was telling everyone he was getting worst.  Sigh.

He won’t agree to separate places.  While we have the apartment, I am thinking once the house sells we need to buy another house.  A rambler with a mother in law suite, or a finished walk out basement would work so we could live in the same place only separate as we do now.  Looking into this.

Meanwhile, his appointment is Friday with the mental health professional.  Which is good, cause he is extremely difficult lately-very oppositional.


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