# Mature Dating Part 5: Have A Positive Attitude



## SifuPhil (May 5, 2013)

(*Ed. Note:* These articles, this one in particular, might seem a bit "off" given my usual behavior here on SeniorForums. Be assured that I'm not experiencing multiple personality disorder - this was merely the "voice" that I used in writing them)

Having a positive attitude is a great way to start your day and even to start a date. By having a positive attitude, you'll be able to create strong vibes that let the person know you're able to cope with certain situations. 

Usually, people who have positive attitudes are able to get past events in life that can bring them into a deep depression. By staying positive, you'll be able to allow the other person to get close to you. For example, if you are walking down the street frowning, not many people will smile at you. Now, if you are walking with a grin and holding your head high, someone is most likely to smile at you. Someone who tends to "glow" is the one that other people want to be around. 


*Remain Positive *

To stay positive, here are a few tips: 


*Always Smile *

By smiling at another, you are making them feel comfortable and also adding positivity to the date. All it takes is one smile to brighten someone's day. If you smile at them, they are naturally inclined to converse with you and will want to learn more. They feel you are a warm and positive person because of the smile you've flashed them. A facial expression can be quite powerful if you think about it. 

*
Prevent Negative Thoughts *

When going on a date, always try to prevent any negative thoughts from making an appearance. Never judge your date based on how they look, what they are wearing or what they say. Unless they're wearing zombie make-up, a fluorescent-blue tutu and screaming out quotes from Mao's Little Red Book.

(*Ed. Note #2:* I'm sorry - that last sentence wasn't in the original draft - it seems Evil Phil wants to come out and play today. Thank you for your patience.)

People grow up around different families and some are from different cultures than us; this is why we need to understand that negative thoughts won't help us. If you judge someone right away, you'll probably have a negative thought about them. 

Perhaps the guy you are dating came in with blue hair. He was actually trying to dye some of his stray gray hairs but his kid's played a cruel trick on him last night. He is usually a well-shaven and clean man who doesn't do things like piercing himself in odd places, or is known for having any tattoos. Once he explains what happened to him, you will probably feel guilty for having such negative thoughts about his choice of hair "fashion". 


*Treat Others As You'd Want To Be Treated* 

Always treat others as you'd want to be treated. Be positive around them and never send them any negative messages or speak in a negative tone. You want to appear calm and inviting towards people. It doesn't matter if they are a friend or a date. You should practice this so that way it will come naturally. 


*Be Optimistic *

Being optimistic means being hopeful and confident about the future. You should look at your date and think of what wonderful things they have in store for you. If you notice some of their best qualities, focus on those instead of looking at any bad habits of theirs. They will see that you are trying to look past any negative habits they may have. 

Remember that it is possible for people to change. In many instances, people will change according to the crowd they are with. If they are with friends that are trouble makers or are extremely rude to people, then you would take on the same qualities. However, if you go with a church group every few days and have brunch while talking about the beauty of life - you'll begin to appreciate how lucky you are to be living. 

People who are optimistic are like magnets - they draw others around them because of the pure energy they put out. 


*Always Have Positive Thoughts About The Future* 

Having positive thoughts about the future will allow you to go on a date without any anxiety. You won't have to think about "Does he like me?" or start fidgeting through the whole date because you are nervous. Think positive thoughts in your head. You could very well say to yourself "I am a wonderful person and I'm sure anyone who meets me will like me!". Get up every day and stand in front of the mirror. 

While standing in front of the mirror, give yourself positive words or a compliment. This will boost your confidence and also allow you to focus only on the positive things. Also, a quick snort of Jack Daniels will help to alle -

{*Ed. Note #3:* Once again, my apologies. He's just too quick on that keyboard.)

Don't ever look at your date in a negative way. If he or she is way too talkative, think of it as a good thing. If you can't get a word in, just be playful with your date and say "Hey, when do I get to talk!". They'll get the hint quickly and settle down to hear about the things you want to tell them or ask them.


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## That Guy (May 5, 2013)

I'm POSITIVE she loves me!


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## SifuPhil (May 5, 2013)

That Guy said:


> I'm POSITIVE she loves me!



Coming soon - Part 6: "Self-Delusion and The Power of the Super-Ego"


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## Anne (May 5, 2013)

Here we go:


View attachment 567


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## That Guy (May 5, 2013)




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## SifuPhil (May 5, 2013)




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## pchinvegas (May 6, 2013)

I'm positive, positive I do not need anyone to complicate my existence. Happy, Happy, Happy


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## That Guy (May 6, 2013)




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## Planxty (May 6, 2013)

Im positive i find happy people quite disturbing, took me years to achieve the status of grumpmeister, im not for turning. . .


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## SifuPhil (May 6, 2013)

pchinvegas said:


> I'm positive, positive I do not need anyone to complicate my existence. Happy, Happy, Happy





That Guy said:


> * Classic R&S Happy Happy Joy Joy Dance *





Planxty said:


> Im positive i find happy people quite disturbing, took me years to achieve the status of grumpmeister, im not for turning. . .



GOSH, you folks are a tough audience! 

I might have to come up with a special edition just for SeniorForums members ... with Eeyore as the mascot ... layful:

Poo: "Eeyore, I have a date tonight!" *dances happily*
Eeyore: "That's wonderful. Does this mean I can look forward to the divorce notice next week?"


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## TWHRider (May 7, 2013)

SifuPhil said:


> Coming soon - Part 6: "Self-Delusion and The Power of the Super-Ego"



Send that to Martha Baby - as in Martha Stewart who did go on Match.com and the "Today Show" crew is helping her  ah - "weed" out the losers.  They will be having a few of the Prospects on the Today show Friday.

Match.com has seen a 30% increase in female traffic and a 1,000% (yes one thousand) in male traffic since Martha made her dating debut.  The women feel if it's safe enough for 71 yr old Martha Stewart, it's safe enough for them.

Well alrighty then, have at it ------------ I, on the other hand, will sit back and hear about you on Breaking News----------


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## That Guy (May 7, 2013)

Of course, the Martha/Match deal is a $$$$ set-up.  Product placement to the max.


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## SifuPhil (May 7, 2013)

That Guy said:


> Of course, the Martha/Match deal is a $$$$ set-up.  Product placement to the max.



Yeah, I can't think of any other reason she would be outing herself like this. It's show-biz - Hollywood - it's what they _do_.

Still, maybe I should get in touch with her warden ... er, I mean, PR person ... and see what's going on. Of course, that means I'll have to cancel my luncheon with Sofia Vergara, but hey, that's the price you pay ...


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## Anne (May 7, 2013)

SifuPhil said:


> Yeah, I can't think of any other reason she would be outing herself like this. It's show-biz - Hollywood - it's what they _do_.
> 
> Still, maybe I should get in touch with her warden ... er, I mean, PR person ... and see what's going on. Of course, that means I'll have to cancel my luncheon with Sofia Vergara, but hey, that's the price you pay ...



Pfffftt....what would you want with her...Martha's got mucho dinero.......


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## SifuPhil (May 7, 2013)

Anne said:


> Pfffftt....what would you want with her...Martha's got mucho dinero.......



Sofia is worth $25 million, she makes $65,000 per episode of "Modern Family", and most important is the WAY the money is presented - she presents it in a nice fresh wrapper.

... Martha's is in an old bank bag. layful:

$25 mil and a hot Colombian would be enough for me.


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## Anne (May 7, 2013)

SifuPhil said:


> Sofia is worth $25 million, she makes $65,000 per episode of "Modern Family", and most important is the WAY the money is presented - she presents it in a nice fresh wrapper.
> 
> ... Martha's is in an old bank bag. layful:
> 
> $25 mil and a hot Colombian would be enough for me.



Yeah, but can she cook??!!!   :rofl:


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## SifuPhil (May 8, 2013)

Anne said:


> Yeah, but can she cook??!!!   :rofl:



I would think, just looking at her, that she could light fires and cause things to bubble over quite well. 

Of course, like many beautiful Latin women I'm sure she has her drawbacks - I've dated a few and discovered that sometimes your life is literally in their hands.


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## That Guy (May 8, 2013)

Plus, Sofia's got a killer sense of humor!


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## SifuPhil (May 8, 2013)

That Guy said:


> Plus, Sofia's got a killer sense of humor!



She'd need it, if she was hooked-up with me!

I'm not sure if she's still with that boy-toy of hers, but she should definitely move up in class.


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## R. Zimm (May 8, 2013)

"Unless they're wearing zombie make-up, a fluorescent-blue tutu and screaming out quotes from Mao's Little Red Book."

I would have used "reading IRS code" at the end but that's just "evil R." speaking.

Good points Phil, and it relates to life in general not just dating. Thanks!


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## hellomimi (May 11, 2020)

Great tips Phil. When will you be back for more tips?

I start with positive affirmations each day. I think it's working since I'm learning to treat myself better.


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## Pinky (May 11, 2020)

Sadly, Phil passed away, Mimi.
He was a terrific guy, with a good head on his shoulders.


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## hellomimi (May 11, 2020)

OMG! I missed the chance of knowing a great guy. I know I could've learned a lot from him.

Thank you Pinky.


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