# Do You Get More Lonely This Time of the Year?



## Ruthanne (Dec 22, 2019)

It's Christmas time.  Many of us who are alone may feel lonely this time of year.  I try to keep myself busy and entertained and in tune with my pets but still get a bit lonesome for human communication.  Not looking for pity.  I am alright just a bit lonesome and wonder if anyone else is too.  This is a thread to share your thoughts about it if you wish.

I have been texting with a man who lives in the city next to me but don't think we will get a chance to meet soon.  I'm still getting to know him via texting on the phone.  He does not say a lot and just is beginning to loosen up.  He is divorced and widowed, too.  He has some kids and family to spend Christmas with.  

I do miss the holiday celebrations I used to have with my oldest brother and his children.  We had nice meals together in the past.  We opened gifts, our dogs growled at eachother.

Then looking back to when my parents were living..it was a nice time then, too.  Just knowing they were there with us no matter how all of us got along or didn't at times.  It was life.  It was sweet..

Anyone else want to talk about being alone now?


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## Butterfly (Dec 22, 2019)

I wouldn't say that I get more lonely, but the holidays do leave me feeling a bit depressed and sadly nostalgic, with a feeling that the best of life is over.  

Part of it may be that the days area SO short now.  The sun hasn't been really coming up until about 7:00 AM and it is pretty well pitch dark by 5:00.


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## Keesha (Dec 22, 2019)

Butterfly said:


> I wouldn't say that I get more lonely, but the holidays do leave me feeling a bit depressed and sadly nostalgic, with a feeling that the best of life is over.
> 
> Part of it may be that the days area SO short now.  The sun hasn't been really coming up until about 7:00 AM and it is pretty well pitch dark by 5:00.


Ditto! Precisely. I’m not lonely. Last Saturday was the shortest day of the year so seasonal affective disorder starts kicking in. I try and stay focussed on others and keep myself busy. Not lonely! More like dark and desolate ; at least for me. 
Nor am I looking for pity. I’m just answering the question.


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## Aunt Bea (Dec 23, 2019)

Butterfly said:


> I wouldn't say that I get more lonely, but the holidays do leave me feeling a bit depressed and sadly nostalgic, with a feeling that the best of life is over.



Me too!

I'm thankful for the people that chose to share their lives with me and enjoy the memories that we made.

It's just another hard candy Christmas!


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## Rosemarie (Dec 23, 2019)

I shall be spending Christmas alone and I shall be fine. Christmas is hard work for the women in the family, spending so much time in the kitchen. It's a time when we feel obliged to put up with people we don't like, just because they are relatives.

I shall be free to spend Christmas as I wish, eat what I wish, listen to music or watch tv or simply sit thinking. I bet there are many out there, putting up with the in-laws or someone's obnoxious brats, who would be only too happy to swap places with me.

So don't feel sorry for  everyone who is alone, some of us are glad to be on our own!


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## Ruthanne (Dec 23, 2019)

Rosemarie said:


> I shall be spending Christmas alone and I shall be fine. Christmas is hard work for the women in the family, spending so much time in the kitchen. It's a time when we feel obliged to put up with people we don't like, just because they are relatives.
> 
> I shall be free to spend Christmas as I wish, eat what I wish, listen to music or watch tv or simply sit thinking. I bet there are many out there, putting up with the in-laws or someone's obnoxious brats, who would be only too happy to swap places with me.
> 
> So don't feel sorry for  everyone who is alone, some of us are glad to be on our own!


I hear you!We are free to do as we wish now whatever that may be as we each define that.


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## Ruthanne (Dec 23, 2019)

Keesha said:


> Ditto! Precisely. I’m not lonely. Last Saturday was the shortest day of the year so seasonal affective disorder starts kicking in. I try and stay focussed on others and keep myself busy. Not lonely! More like dark and desolate ; at least for me.
> Nor am I looking for pity. I’m just answering the question.


Deleted Post, nevermind, I felt confused...


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## peppermint (Dec 23, 2019)

Well, everyone has a different feeling around the Holiday's....If you are alone and don't mind....Good for you....

We have a big family and all get along....We will be going to my Brother's home on Christmas Eve...My son and family and my daughter's family..
My God Daughter with her husband and 2 kiddies....We will have the seven fishes....Have been, as long as I can remember, celebrating Christmas Eve.....Most of our loved one's have deceased....As long as we can do this every year....We will be still having the seven fishes....
I know the younger one's will go on with the tradition....(they all look forward for this time of year)..


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## Fyrefox (Dec 24, 2019)

Mental health professionals tend to be busy at this time of year as Xmas causes many to have unrealistic expectations, and holds a mirror up to things in your life that you don't have.  The happy, harmonious families and gatherings in posh settings depicted on television don't jive with the realities experienced by many...


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## CrackerJack (Dec 24, 2019)

I am on my own and missing my Husband who died five years ago. I am starting to adjust living on my own and actually find it acceptable. Ive never ever been on my own or lived on my own and I can say that Im alone but not lonely and thete is subtle difference. I am a people person but  do like my privacy and can tolerate total silence at home and not watch telly or listen to radio or have background noise unless Im in the mood and I savour my quiet times and dont need someone with me all the time like some people do but Im not a loner by any means.
I feel I take after my Mum who was widowed at 57 years old in 1966 and lived on her own until 1994.


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## Lc jones (Dec 24, 2019)

I’m not lonely but I do miss my mom....


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## CrackerJack (Dec 24, 2019)

Lc jones said:


> I’m not lonely but I do miss my mom....


 
She was special, your Mom Lc and empathise as I miss mine; her warmth her understanding and love if the arts and her beautiful poetry she wrote of which I treasure. As Ive grown older I feel just like her in many ways.


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## Lc jones (Dec 24, 2019)

CrackerJack said:


> She was special, your Mom Lc and empathise as I miss mine; her warmth her understanding and love if the arts and her beautiful poetry she wrote of which I treasure. As Ive grown older I feel just like her in many ways.


She always made this time of year so magical


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## charry (Dec 24, 2019)

I dont feel lonely, as i  have hubby here, 
but i do get sad, as i miss my parents and close family .....


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## Ladybj (Jan 4, 2020)

CrackerJack said:


> I am on my own and missing my Husband who died five years ago. I am starting to adjust living on my own and actually find it acceptable. Ive never ever been on my own or lived on my own and I can say that Im alone but not lonely and thete is subtle difference. I am a people person but  do like my privacy and can tolerate total silence at home and not watch telly or listen to radio or have background noise unless Im in the mood and I savour my quiet times and dont need someone with me all the time like some people do but Im not a loner by any means.
> I feel I take after my Mum who was widowed at 57 years old in 1966 and lived on her own until 1994.


We have a lot in common.  When hubby goes to work I enjoy my alone time.  I am not a big tv person. I love listening to music but I can also enjoy a quite house.  I am also a people person.. more of an extrovert but enjoy my space.


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## Ruthanne (Jan 4, 2020)

Fyrefox said:


> Mental health professionals tend to be busy at this time of year as Xmas causes many to have unrealistic expectations, and holds a mirror up to things in your life that you don't have.  The happy, harmonious families and gatherings in posh settings depicted on television don't jive with the realities experienced by many...


I agree and I think that makes it harder for isolated people who are totally alone.


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## Pepper (Jan 4, 2020)

Ruthanne said:


> I agree and I think that makes it harder for isolated people who are totally alone.


And that is why.............
I can't sympathize with people surrounded by people who whine that they are lonely.  Cry me a river.  
If that's lonely it will have to do until the _Real Thing_ comes along.


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## peppermint (Jan 4, 2020)

Everyone is different, Pepper...I am a sympathizer....I knew too many people that were lonely, even
when they were young....
My sister in law lost her husband 2 years ago...She still cannot get over him leaving her....She has
been hospitalized for many ailments....She lives alone, but she has three girls that are married with
children....They are very thoughtful girls....I call her when I can....We don't live close....
I wonder, if one day I am alone!!!  My daughter asked me that a while ago....I told her I probably
will live alone....If I am able....You never know....
Have a good night!


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## peppermint (Jan 5, 2020)

Fyrefox said:


> Mental health professionals tend to be busy at this time of year as Xmas causes many to have unrealistic expectations, and holds a mirror up to things in your life that you don't have.  The happy, harmonious families and gatherings in posh settings depicted on television don't jive with the realities experienced by many...


Yes, things you don't have in your life...I went through life with ups and down's   One Christmas, My Dad died on Christmas Eve....We still had
the little one's and went on with our Christmas....Then we had a funeral!!!!!   Then my brother died 3 month's later....then we had a funeral!!
Christmas time around 2 years ago, husband was in the Hospital with Cancer....I won't go into detail...
I never have unrealistic expectations....I just go day by day....(I love the Christmas Season)   Since I was a little girl...Don't know the future, but
I am always realistic.....I know we don't live forever!!!!


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## Lc jones (Jan 5, 2020)

peppermint said:


> Yes, things you don't have in your life...I went through life with ups and down's   One Christmas, My Dad died on Christmas Eve....We still had
> the little one's and went on with our Christmas....Then we had a funeral!!!!!   Then my brother died 3 month's later....then we had a funeral!!
> Christmas time around 2 years ago, husband was in the Hospital with Cancer....I won't go into detail...
> I never have unrealistic expectations....I just go day by day....(I love the Christmas Season)   Since I was a little girl...Don't know the future, but
> I am always realistic.....I know we don't live forever!!!!


You are one resilient wonderful person, I’m  sending you a hug!


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## Linda (Jan 5, 2020)

I'm not alone and I'm not lonely but during the holidays I do miss my parents and siblings and extended family much more.  Most all of them passed on years ago.


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## peppermint (Jan 6, 2020)

Lc jones said:


> You are one resilient wonderful person, I’m  sending you a hug!


Thank You...LC Jones....Best to you..♥


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## OneEyedDiva (Jan 7, 2020)

My husband died two days before Christmas (2018). But we don't celebrate Christmas and for several years wound up going to sleep before the New Year came in. Our holidays have passed by the time Christmas rolls around.  So no extra feelings of loneliness here.


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## Old&InTheWay (Jan 8, 2020)

I am so lonely too, so lonely, but at the same time I prefer to be sans people. Yet I join up hoping to talk! I guess my existence is lead by confusion boats - mutiny from stern to bow.


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## CrackerJack (Jan 9, 2020)

Old&InTheWay said:


> I am so lonely too, so lonely, but at the same time I prefer to be sans people. Yet I join up hoping to talk! I guess my existence is lead by confusion boats - mutiny from stern to bow.


 
You will findfolk on here friendly and welcoming as I did back in Nov last year. So do join in on the Threads that interest you and talk to us.☺


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## katlupe (Jan 10, 2020)

I am not lonely, I just live alone (except for my pet). I have people in my life and lots of neighbors since I live in an apartment complex for seniors. Most everyone gets along very well and we have planned activities if we choose to participate. I don't do much for Christmas. Just can't wait for it to be over and life gets back to normal. I decorate for it and make a nice meal but no gifts and no crazy shopping.


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## Ronni (Jan 10, 2020)

Pepper said:


> And that is why.............
> I can't sympathize with people surrounded by people who whine that they are lonely.  Cry me a river.
> If that's lonely it will have to do until the _Real Thing_ comes along.



Y'know @Pepper,  sometimes the MOST lonely feeling ever is to be surrounded by people and yet have zero connection to them, to continue to feel completely isolated.  I've been there. Married with kids, and yet because of the dysfunctional relationship my husband had with the kids and me, the abuse and control, that was the loneliest I have ever felt in my life to the point that I became suicidal. 

On the other hand, I am comfortable being alone for extended periods of time.  It doesn't trouble me.


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## Old&InTheWay (Jan 10, 2020)

CrackerJack said:


> You will findfolk on here friendly and welcoming as I did back in Nov last year. So do join in on the Threads that interest you and talk to us.☺


aw thanks! I will try.


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## CrackerJack (Jan 11, 2020)

Old&InTheWay said:


> aw thanks! I will try.


That's the ticket. Just keep popping on have a look about and see what winks at you in the way of Threads and Topics and step in and wiggle your toes in the warm water.☺


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## Gary O' (Jan 11, 2020)

*'Do You Get More Lonely This Time of the Year?'*

I don't get lonely any time of year

I have me to deal with






...and that's plenty


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## Jazzy (Jan 11, 2020)

For all my life I spent Christmas with either my parents, and then my Mum.  When she died in 2012, I spent a few years either with my sister's daughter, or with my sister, but for some years my sis has gone to be with her family, leaving me on my own.  Or because it wasn't possible to go along to my niece. It didn't help that 2 years ago I took on a Westie pup, which severely limited where I could go and what to do.

For two years I went along to a community cafe in my local park, where they served up a meal and gave us the opportunity to talk to other people.  This year, however, sis came to me for breakfast then went on to her youngest daughter so it was then just me and the dog.  So I drove us the 2-3 miles to the promenade and we walked along by the sea, in the sunshine, greeting others.

I have had to stop this lonely feeling because it is what it is.  But I wouldn't give up my dog.


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## Ruthanne (Jan 11, 2020)

Jazzy said:


> For all my life I spent Christmas with either my parents, and then my Mum.  When she died in 2012, I spent a few years either with my sister's daughter, or with my sister, but for some years my sis has gone to be with her family, leaving me on my own.  Or because it wasn't possible to go along to my niece. It didn't help that 2 years ago I took on a Westie pup, which severely limited where I could go and what to do.
> 
> For two years I went along to a community cafe in my local park, where they served up a meal and gave us the opportunity to talk to other people.  This year, however, sis came to me for breakfast then went on to her youngest daughter so it was then just me and the dog.  So I drove us the 2-3 miles to the promenade and we walked along by the sea, in the sunshine, greeting others.
> 
> I have had to stop this lonely feeling because it is what it is.  But I wouldn't give up my dog.


Yes, it is what it is.  I know what you mean about not giving up your dog--wouldn't give mine up either.


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## OneEyedDiva (Jan 12, 2020)

Old&InTheWay said:


> I am so lonely too, so lonely, but at the same time I prefer to be sans people. Yet I join up hoping to talk! I guess my existence is lead by confusion boats - mutiny from stern to bow.


This is a pretty interesting site.  Hopefully you can find enjoyment in the goings on around here.  I read that many seniors are thankful for the social interaction they find on online forums; some of whom can't get out and about.


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