# Home? I feel like running away from this place where I live



## GeorgiaXplant (Dec 26, 2015)

that doesn't feel like home. Home is a place where you want to be, right? I don't want to be here. I want to be home.


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## hollydolly (Dec 26, 2015)

Awwwww..... Where is Home for you  Georgia...I mean where do you THINK would be home for you?

Come over here to London  chikadee we'll definitely make you feel at home... :love_heart:


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## GeorgiaXplant (Dec 26, 2015)

Um. I have no idea. I don't think I've ever felt like I belonged anywhere, not even in my hometown except in the house where my husband and I lived before he died. I wasn't thrilled to move to Kentucky but went along with it because it was something he really wanted to do. After he died I wasn't thrilled to move here but there were only two choices...either move back to my hometown or come here. This wasn't a swell choice but moving back to Michigan wouldn't have been a swell choice, either. <le sigh>


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## RadishRose (Dec 26, 2015)

Oh Georgia, I feel for you. I do hope that in time you'll feel more at home. I know the holidays can make us feel very homesick and sad for things past or things lost. The feeling will pass and in a few weeks you'll be feeling a little better.


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## GeorgiaXplant (Dec 26, 2015)

It's been more than six years and still just a place to live. You're probably right. It's the holidays. I'll feel better in the spring.


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## fureverywhere (Dec 26, 2015)

I understand...we live in my in-laws old house. Not somewhere I would pick by choice but it's paid for. It should probably be leveled to the basement and rebuilt from scratch. But I clean here and decorate there. Sometimes a major clean up and fresh coat of paint helps a lot.


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## GeorgiaXplant (Dec 26, 2015)

Fur, my place was designed by me and built by my brother, so I can't use "old" as an excuse. It's just not home


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## Cookie (Dec 26, 2015)

I'm not sure I understand why it doesn't feel like home to you Georgia.  I've moved dozens of times and even though some places were small, inadequate in some ways, and I had no furniture, because I was there, and because my things were there, it became my home. I've been in a few situations where I actually didn't have a home and had to stay with friends, after that, anyplace I lived that I felt was my own space, where I could walk in, close the door after myself and relax felt like home.  I hope you find that feeling Georgia.


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## SifuPhil (Dec 26, 2015)

Georgia, I haven't felt at "home" for a long time. Part of it - a large part, probably - is my own doing. Right now I share a 2-bdrm apartment with a lady who has ... shall we say, _interesting_ ideas about decorating, consisting mainly of putting up crucifixes, pictures of saints and religious inspirational sayings. 

Being non-religious, I get the creepy feeling that eyes are following me everywhere I go. 

But it's a warm place with a roof and running water, and if it isn't a home I've at least come to peace with the idea that it's a house. Maybe someday we'll both find a home ...


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## fureverywhere (Dec 26, 2015)

That's what keeps me grateful, it's old and falling apart but beats a cardboard box any day. Oy Philly, that kind of decorating would make me daffy. I used to be security at Seton Hall. 4am building patrol and those statues would scare the willies out of me.


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## Ameriscot (Dec 26, 2015)

Georgia, I hope you can feel at home where you are, and if not that you find a place that feels like home.

I've lived in MANY places.  Some felt like home, some didn't.


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## SifuPhil (Dec 26, 2015)

fureverywhere said:


> That's what keeps me grateful, it's old and falling apart but beats a cardboard box any day. Oy Philly, that kind of decorating would make me daffy. I used to be security at Seton Hall. 4am building patrol and those statues would scare the willies out of me.





Reminds me of the time not long ago I'm walking to the store at twilight. There's someone standing near the church - just standing there watching me. I get all puffy and nasty-looking and get ready for combat. I get closer, they aren't moving, just staring at me. My neck starts bobbing, I'm hunkering down, I get up close to them ...

... and it's a statue of Mary. I was getting ready to beat up Mary.


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## SeaBreeze (Dec 26, 2015)

My heart goes out to you GeorgiaX, I hope someday you'll have the feeling of home again.  I know this time of year must make it worse after losing your husband, my sympathy, sending warm thoughts and hugs your way.  :rose:


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## Underock1 (Dec 26, 2015)

SifuPhil said:


> Georgia, I haven't felt at "home" for a long time. Part of it - a large part, probably - is my own doing. Right now I share a 2-bdrm apartment with a lady who has ... shall we say, _interesting_ ideas about decorating, consisting mainly of putting up crucifixes, pictures of saints and religious inspirational sayings.
> 
> Being non-religious, I get the creepy feeling that eyes are following me everywhere I go.
> 
> But it's a warm place with a roof and running water, and if it isn't a home I've at least come to peace with the idea that it's a house. Maybe someday we'll both find a home ...



That sounds like my worst nightmare, Phil. Does she know your views? Seems like it could be uncomfortable for both of you.
Maybe she's putting the stuff up to keep the Devil ( = Phil ) away. My sympathies.


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## imp (Dec 26, 2015)

Georgia, it's been said that home is where the heart is. Comparing how you feel with how I feel, there are similarities. I have felt bad, inside, somehow,  for having left my birthplace, in Illinois. Our Slavic culture demanded that one live in the same place, usually even the same house, forever. Marry, raise your kids, never leave. I broke with that ingrained tradition; my folks did not. Now, my Dad's father was a nomad, a rebel within the culture. My Dad figured out once that before age 18, they had moved 15 times! My dad upon growing older and marrying, subscribed to the accepted cultural doctrine.

I miss mightily my old haunts back in Berwyn, Illinois, having left there at age 30. Part of that lies I'm sure in the fact that one's childhood, if memorably happy and filled with pleasure, draws the mind back there no matter where we are. To sum this all up: my friend and co-worker in Chicago when I was a young man, described his disbelief in our home ethic, even though his folks followed it. He told me no matter which house you live in, no matter where it is located, it was hammered together of building materials no different in one place or another. He called ALL houses "just so many shacks".

our emotions can be very strong, and sometimes misguiding.    imp


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## fureverywhere (Dec 26, 2015)

Sometimes it's an illusion too. Our childhood home, home when we were newlyweds, home when the children were small. It wasn't about home but memories. Moving on means making new memories.


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## SifuPhil (Dec 27, 2015)

It IS all an illusion, Fur, but that doesn't make it any less real.

Think about it ...


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## Karen99 (Dec 27, 2015)

Home is a powerful thing.  Maybe it's a feeling.  I think its nostalgia and memories.  It's good times and bad.  Any place I've lived has felt like home to me cause I make it my home.  I've heard home defined as a place for the people and things you love.  

Georgia, I'm sorry you feel the way you do.  I just wish you well and send kind thoughts.


 :glitter-heart::bestwish:


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## QuickSilver (Dec 29, 2015)

I feel fortunate...  I used to envy people that got the chance to move around and live in different places.... feeling a bit embarrassed that I've never lived anywhere but here..   Now as I age.. I feel a comfort in that.   This IS my home... in every sense of the word.. I know it like the back of my hand.. it's where I can feel a sense of happiness.   I'm glad I've never moved..  I have a sense of place that now I see others may not.


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## tortiecat (Dec 29, 2015)

We live in one home for 30 years where we raised our children.  I have very fond memories of that home.
Then we moved to a larger home with lovely gardens where our grandchildren came to visit as they were
growing up.  I have many fond memories of that home. Lastly I live in a lovely apartment in a retirement
residence where I am finding contentment and new memories.
Georgia you sound like my sister who will never find contentment where ever she lives.
I feel profoundly sorry for both of you.


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## debbie in seattle (Jan 25, 2016)

I hate living in Seattle, the rain, the masses of people moving in, the traffic, the taxes.     My bones ache constantly from the cold, damp weather.   My husband refuses to live anywhere else, his entire family lives here.   I haven't felt 'at home' for over 30 years.


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## jujube (Jan 25, 2016)

Hey, Debbie.....want to change places?  I want to live in Seattle, although my brother-in-law says I'd turn tail and head back to Florida before the first winter was over.  I've never been there more than a month at a time and that month was in good weather.  I'm usually there for only two weeks when I'm there in the winter.


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## Shalimar (Jan 25, 2016)

Wow, I think it is harsh to project one's experience with their sister onto someone they barely know. Many of us don't feel at home for a variety of reasons. Women in particular, often sacrifice their wishes for family. To suggest that a person is unable to 

find contentment wherever they live is presumptuous and unkind. Georgia, I get it. That is how I feel about my present home. I wish you the best, you deserve it. I hope we both find a place to belong.


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## Cookie (Jan 25, 2016)

It's ok not to feel at home in the place your living.  It seems to indicate to me that maybe a change could be a good thing. Doesn't mean one has to move, could be something like needing different lighting, change of decor or plants.  I sometimes change the furniture arrangement when things feel off.  Change is a good thing.  

I am amazed how some people can stay in the same house for 40 years. Life has made sure than I have been uprooted from time to time, that way I got a fresh perspective every now and then.  Like a plant, we sometimes need a new pot, new soil and then we can flourish.


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## Warrigal (Jan 25, 2016)

Forty years? On Feb 14 we will have been in our house for 50 years. It has known no other occupants and shortly after we eventually move out, it will be demolished to make way for a new duplex. 

There were times when I might have had restless feet and wanted a move but hubby is hard to shift so we stayed put. Now we are putting off the day when we will have to move by having old peoples' modifications like rails and railings installed and by getting people in to help with yard work.

It's not so much the house that I call home but the neighbourhood where I am known and where I have friends. When I have to move I hope to find a place not too far away from where we live now. 

My only suggestion, Georgia, is to make your house a place of hospitality and it might seem more like home.


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## RadishRose (Jan 25, 2016)

After 50 years, to move now, Warrigal! Hope the shock isn't too great.


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## debbie in seattle (Jan 25, 2016)

jujube said:


> Hey, Debbie.....want to change places?  I want to live in Seattle, although my brother-in-law says I'd turn tail and head back to Florida before the first winter was over.  I've never been there more than a month at a time and that month was in good weather.  I'm usually there for only two weeks when I'm there in the winter.



I'd trade with  you in a heartbeat.   Yes, everyone shows up to Seattle in the middle of our nicest weather and wonders why there's so much complaining from we Seattleites.     During the winter, it gets dark around 4-4:30 and doesn't become daylight until about 7:30-8am.     And the rain........months and months and months of it.    My mom lived in Florida and would visit us during the summer to avoid her high a/c bills.


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## tnthomas (Jan 25, 2016)

Georgia, I hope you can get to/or find ....your home.


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## Warrigal (Jan 25, 2016)

RadishRose said:


> After 50 years, to move now, Warrigal! Hope the shock isn't too great.



When either of us needs additional care that cannot be provided at home we will move into a hostel together. 
We will be ready when the time comes and I will not have any regrets. I never look back when it is time to leave something behind.

My mum used to say home is where you hang your hat.
She moved around a lot as a child because her father was in the postal service and was regularly transferred from one country town to another.


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## GeorgiaXplant (Jan 26, 2016)

tortiecat;391636

Georgia you sound like my sister who will never find contentment where ever she lives.
I feel profoundly sorry for both of you.[/QUOTE said:
			
		

> Nice for you that you've lived in only a few places and have good memories of all of them. However, after having been uprooted time after time while growing up, while my kids were growing up and then agreeing to move to Kentucky because my husband wanted to go there, is it really so hard to understand that I feel rootless?
> 
> I'm not like the people my military friends used to say thought their "last duty station was the best one". I'm just tired of starting over so many times. The times when _*I*_ chose to make a change were rare.
> 
> ...


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## Cookie (Jan 26, 2016)

I think there are pros and cons to each situation -- living in the same place all your life has its drawbacks, perhaps limited perspective; living in many places also has its advantages (a broader outlook on life) and disadvantages, we've just got to work with what we've got and do our best and for those who label frequent movers as malcontents, perhaps they need to get off their high horses and stop being so judgmental, as they could be next in line for the moving van themselves.


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## GeorgiaXplant (Jan 26, 2016)

Thanks, Cookie (and all the rest of you who understand or sympathize). Sometimes a vent is just a vent, yanno?


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## Shalimar (Jan 26, 2016)

I don't think there is a right way to find/feel at home, just your way. Georgia, we love you on sf, your warmth, humour, willingness to try new things bring something delightful to the site. You have a spirit younger than half the fifty year olds I know. Vent any time you like. Some of us think of you as online family.:love_heart:


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## Warrigal (Jan 26, 2016)

What Shalimar said goes for me too.


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## Waterlilly (Jan 26, 2016)

Ditto Georgia, I may not post much but I check in. I know what ya mean about trying to fit in with new friends. I'm not good at that. I'm here for you if you need to vent!


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## SifuPhil (Jan 26, 2016)

Warrigal said:


> What Shalimar said goes for me too.



Me three.


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## Linda (Jan 30, 2016)

debbie in seattle said:


> I hate living in Seattle, the rain, the masses of people moving in, the traffic, the taxes.     My bones ache constantly from the cold, damp weather.   My husband refuses to live anywhere else, his entire family lives here.   I haven't felt 'at home' for over 30 years.


Debbie, where would you like to live?  For a very short time when I was real young, we stayed with my mom's male cousin in a log house in the forest.  It was by Everett and Cashmere.   I was about 4 and of course, I liked it there.  We have vacationed in Seattle, back when all our kids were still at home.  In the 70s.


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## Linda (Jan 30, 2016)

Georgia, I understand how you feel.  When I first moved here in the mountains I hated it and for the first 10 years I did nothing to make it more homey.  I didn't even unpack a lot of things.  I've been here 22 years now and I've come to accept it but if I had the $ I'd move in a second.  I live in a beautiful area and people come from all over the world to visit just 40 minutes from my house, this place is paid for and we can live OK here BUT I don't feel at home.  I like living in a town or city where I can get around and do things.  I don't know what the answer is, maybe when we die we'll feel at home.  I have lived over 100 places at lest,  and some I have loved and some I have felt very sad and lonely.  I don't have an answer for you but I can tell you that you are not alone.


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## debbie in seattle (Jan 30, 2016)

Linda said:


> Debbie, where would you like to live?  For a very short time when I was real young, we stayed with my mom's male cousin in a log house in the forest.  It was by Everett and Cashmere.   I was about 4 and of course, I liked it there.  We have vacationed in Seattle, back when all our kids were still at home.  In the 70s.



linda~  my ideal place to live, putting reality aside and knowing it will never happen.....ocean, warm weather, but not too hot, small village/town I could walk to or ride a bike to so I could buy my produce from the local farmers markets.   Not a lot of traffic, sidewalks and friendly people.


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## SifuPhil (Jan 30, 2016)

debbie in seattle said:


> linda~  my ideal place to live, putting reality aside and knowing it will never happen.....ocean, warm weather, but not too hot, small village/town I could walk to or ride a bike to so I could buy my produce from the local farmers markets.   Not a lot of traffic, sidewalks and friendly people.



Sounds really nice - hope it come true for you. 

I too once wished for such a place - I even thought I was living in it - but the problems that came along with living there eventually overwhelmed the positives.


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## Karen99 (Jan 30, 2016)




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