# Uninvited for Thanksgiving



## debodun (Oct 29, 2021)

I have a standing invitation to my aunt's house on Thanksgiving. She sent me an email saying she's "not doing Thanksgiving this year." Understandable since she is not feeling very well and hasn't been to church in 3 weeks. I got canned pumpkin and sweet potatoes - they will keep. I may buy a rotisserie turkey breast, Brussels sprouts and a half-pie for myself . I make my own cranberry relish and mashed white potatoes. Some things can't be bought untill really close to the day.


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## Jules (Oct 29, 2021)

Maybe you’ll be having your Thanksgiving in your new home.


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## Judycat (Oct 29, 2021)

I have a standing invitation with one of my son's but I'll be making turkey legs, stuffing balls and gravy for myself. I am more comfortable doing that than going to the son's in-law's place where it's like attending a convention. With Covid I have to worry about who's sick, people sneeze and cough, and they are anti-maskers so...who cares if grandma ends up in the hospital. A nice meal at home sounds really good.


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## debodun (Oct 29, 2021)

Difficult to eat wearing a mask, too.


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## HoneyNut (Oct 29, 2021)

I guess I am planning to just risk my health this Thanksgiving.  I've been invited to my daughter's and she promises just her and her boyfriend, but they are young and constantly in contact with other people.  At least they are both vaccinated, and I've had my booster so I'm hoping for the best.


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## bowmore (Oct 29, 2021)

We will be going to our son's house. We supply the dressing. I love dressing, so we mix it up in a 10 gallon plastic container


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## Aunt Bea (Oct 29, 2021)

I have much to be thankful for and would rather spend a quiet day at home than be the odd duck at someone else’s family gathering

The thing that I’ve never been able to understand is why holidays have a different feel to them than other days of the year.


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## Judycat (Oct 29, 2021)

@bowmore   Ten gallons of stuffing!!! There must be a crowd coming.


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## debodun (Oct 29, 2021)

bowmore said:


> We will be going to our son's house. We supply the dressing. I love dressing, so we mix it up in a 10 gallon plastic container


That would be just about enough for me.
My mom always made delicious cornbread stuffing (she made the cornbread, too - didn't use those dried croutons that are sold as stuffing mix). I'll never get to have that again.


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## MrPants (Oct 29, 2021)

Judycat said:


> @bowmore   Ten gallons of stuffing!!! There must be a crowd coming.


That's what I was thinking - 10 gallons? WOW!


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## bowmore (Oct 29, 2021)

MrPants said:


> That's what I was thinking - 10 gallons? WOW!


No, we do NOT make 10 gallons of dressing. We use 3 boxes of Mrs. Cubbinsons, and it is a lot easier to mix in a large container.


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## funsearcher! (Oct 29, 2021)

Used to go to my mom's, then to my brother's--now I am in another state so will not be seeing anyone for the holidays. I will survive.


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## Sassycakes (Oct 29, 2021)

My husband and I will be eating home alone this year. My son~in ~laws sister invited us to her house, but I prefer to stay home rather than go there.


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## win231 (Oct 29, 2021)

debodun said:


> Difficult to eat wearing a mask, too.


That's OK.  Covid is a considerate virus; that's why a mask is required while walking to your booth in a restaurant but not while you're eating.


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## Colleen (Oct 29, 2021)

Just hubby and I doing our own Thanksgiving this year. His daughter and her husband are unvaccinated (they're anti-vaxer's) and drive for Fed Ex and they're all over the country and coming in contact with who-knows-who, so we have told them we prefer to be by ourselves. His oldest son is an anti-vaxer also and works in a manufacturing shop with everyone else the same as him. He's not invited, either. Even though hubby and I just got our booster (Moderna) last week, we still are being cautious. It's too bad but that's the way the world works these days.


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## Lewkat (Oct 29, 2021)

My choice, but staying home alone for the 2nd year in a row.


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## katlupe (Oct 29, 2021)

I think my boyfriend and I are going to the Chinese restaurant if they are open. I think they are.


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## Tish (Oct 29, 2021)

We don't celebrate it over here, but it sounds like you have it all under control.


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## Judycat (Oct 29, 2021)

bowmore said:


> No, we do NOT make 10 gallons of dressing. We use 3 boxes of Mrs. Cubbinsons, and it is a lot easier to mix in a large container.


I'm sorry. I jumped to a conclusion I shouldn't have done.


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## Aneeda72 (Oct 29, 2021)

If husband and I do not have Covid, getting tested Monday. We are eating out with son and his SO.  If we test positive, due to exposure via our son, Joey, we will test again in 7 days, as we will still have time for a negative test.  In fact, might be time for a third.  

His SO requires a negative test after our exposure.


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## PamfromTx (Oct 29, 2021)

debodun said:


> That would be just about enough for me.
> My mom always made delicious cornbread stuffing (she made the cornbread, too - didn't use those dried croutons that are sold as stuffing mix). I'll never get to have that again.


@debodun Did your mom ever write recipes ?  I hope you have this one saved somewhere.


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## GeorgiaXplant (Oct 29, 2021)

Judycat said:


> @bowmore   Ten gallons of stuffing!!! There must be a crowd coming.


I read that as making 10 gallons, too!


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## GeorgiaXplant (Oct 29, 2021)

debodun said:


> That would be just about enough for me.
> My mom always made delicious cornbread stuffing (she made the cornbread, too - didn't use those dried croutons that are sold as stuffing mix). I'll never get to have that again.


I sure hope your mom wrote down the recipe somewhere so that you can make it. The smell of it cooking would be a great memory.

I'm all about the smells of holidays foods, even Christmas candy. Such nice reminders of what it was like back in the day  I love the smells of Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners as much as the meals themselves


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## Irwin (Oct 29, 2021)

I think my wife will be moved to an assisted living facility in a few days since at this point, she can't even go to the bathroom without help. I did my best as a basic caregiver. I've been doing all the cooking, cleaning, shopping, and provide icepacks and hot water bottles and whatever else she asked for, but I'm really not cut out for that role. I get frustrated and sometimes angry with the current situation, and that's not a good disposition for a caregiver.

I guess it's possible that she'll be home for Thanksgiving, but I don't know. And she's quick to make friends, so she'll probably make friends at the facility and she'll be just fine and content... much more so than if she was here with me trying to take care of her.


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## GeorgiaXplant (Oct 29, 2021)

@Irwin  That's sad, but I bet you can visit her and have Thanksgiving dinner with her.


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## Jules (Oct 29, 2021)

It’s probably easier on her too, @Irwin   If she knows it’s hard for you, she’d be feeling guilty.


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## bowmore (Oct 29, 2021)

Irwin said:


> I think my wife will be moved to an assisted living facility in a few days since at this point, she can't even go to the bathroom without help. I did my best as a basic caregiver. I've been doing all the cooking, cleaning, shopping, and provide icepacks and hot water bottles and whatever else she asked for, but I'm really not cut out for that role. I get frustrated and sometimes angry with the current situation, and that's not a good disposition for a caregiver.
> 
> I guess it's possible that she'll be home for Thanksgiving, but I don't know. And she's quick to make friends, so she'll probably make friends at the facility and she'll be just fine and content... much more so than if she was here with me trying to take care of her.


Irwin, I am sorry for your situation. I was caregiver to my wife for 12 years. You need respite.


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## terry123 (Oct 29, 2021)

Irwin said:


> I think my wife will be moved to an assisted living facility in a few days since at this point, she can't even go to the bathroom without help. I did my best as a basic caregiver. I've been doing all the cooking, cleaning, shopping, and provide icepacks and hot water bottles and whatever else she asked for, but I'm really not cut out for that role. I get frustrated and sometimes angry with the current situation, and that's not a good disposition for a caregiver.
> 
> I guess it's possible that she'll be home for Thanksgiving, but I don't know. And she's quick to make friends, so she'll probably make friends at the facility and she'll be just fine and content... much more so than if she was here with me trying to take care of her.


So she will have a caregiver daily with her.  Those are pretty costly.  My friend was in assisted living but did not need that kind of daily care.  My friend was able to do daily care for herself but the facility provided laundry, weekly cleaning and meals in the dining room.  I would go and eat lunch with her. Daily caregiving was not included in the monthly cost.


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## Remy (Oct 29, 2021)

@Irwin Care giving is very, very hard and it takes it's health toll, both physically and mentally, on the one giving the care. And it sounds like you have been doing it all 24/7. This is probably the best solution. Even with Covid, you should be able to visit often. And then you can enjoy your time together without the burden of everything on you.


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## Remy (Oct 29, 2021)

Deb, it doesn't sound like you with uninvited, your aunt just can't have the gathering anymore or at least at this time. If you want to be with other's, I hope you have an alternate.


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## PamfromTx (Oct 29, 2021)

@debodun  Does your church do an annual Thanksgiving Dinner for the patrons?


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## Ruth n Jersey (Oct 29, 2021)

We have been going to my daughters for the last few years but I mentioned in August that I would like to have it this year. 
Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday and I plan early and freeze many items way before hand.
Then the fall down the stairs ended all that.
Even if it is better a week before the holiday I will feel stressed trying to get everything done. So I canceled. Everyone understood but I was really looking forward to it this year,
I also told my daughter we would be staying home. She is 5 hours away and sometimes my legs hurt being in the car that long. I didn't want to take the chance,
Hopefully we will see them at Christmas at their house and maybe I'll do New Years,


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## PamfromTx (Oct 29, 2021)

HEB (grocery store in Texas) will have a HUGE Thanksgiving Dinner for the needy people.  They hold these events in many parts of Texas.  *H-E-B Grocery Company, LP* is an American privately held supermarket chain based in San Antonio, Texas, with more than 340 stores throughout the U.S. state of Texas.


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## feywon (Oct 29, 2021)

Aunt Bea said:


> I have much to be thankful for and would rather spend a quiet day at home than be the odd duck at someone else’s family gathering
> 
> The thing that I’ve never been able to understand is why holidays have a different feel to them than other days of the year.


Holidays 'feel different' because of complex psycho-social programing  during our early years. Christmas and Easter have layers associated with religious traditions even tho for many they more 'secular' holidays.(Judging by some of my Jewish friends over the years the same is true of their holidays that started as religious traditions.

  Thanksgiving crosses religious lines somewhat, and its beginngs are another American history rewrite,  but the putting the focus on what we are grateful for is one that can be helpful and even healing for some.


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## debodun (Oct 30, 2021)

PamfromTx said:


> @debodun  Does your church do an annual Thanksgiving Dinner for the patrons?


No. They've even suspended the after-service fellowship luncheon.


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## debodun (Oct 30, 2021)

As to those who asked if my mom wrote down her recipe for cornbread stuffing - not that I've discovered.


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## GeorgiaXplant (Nov 7, 2021)

@debodun This is a kind of off-the-wall suggestion, but if you'll be moved in before Thanksgiving, could you invite your family to your new house for Thanksgiving dinner? 

For one thing, it would provide impetus for you to get things put away. For another, they could all see your splendid new home.

Hey...only consider it if your new home has a dishwasher


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## Gary O' (Nov 7, 2021)

For those alone during the holidays and not wanting to be, there's always the homeless to feed...


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## Meanderer (Nov 7, 2021)

Aunt Bea said:


> I have much to be thankful for and would rather spend a quiet day at home than be the odd duck at someone else’s family gathering
> 
> The thing that I’ve never been able to understand is why holidays have a different feel to them than other days of the year.


They are the times, when our "heart-strings" can be the most sensitive.....they can be either  pulled on, or neglected.


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## feywon (Nov 7, 2021)

For many years it's just been my daughter and i for holidays except for a few times son Owen and his family visited or son Seth did, and once or twice i got to have them ALL together for one.  But we still do holiday dinners--just a little scaled down.  Thanksgiving we roast a turkey breast not whole turkey and i make a small batch of the fruit salad that was always popular with my kids.


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## Autumn72 (Jan 27, 2022)

katlupe said:


> I think my boyfriend and I are going to the Chinese restaurant if they are open. I think they are.


How did you meet?


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## katlupe (Jan 28, 2022)

Autumn72 said:


> How did you meet?


We first met when we were in kindergarten. My family moved to FL in 1962 and lost track of everyone in my class. Though, I didn't really remember him just his name. Then all these years later, he sent me a friend request on fakebook and I accepted it. I didn't have any interaction with him except for birthdays and the group for our hometown. Then I was going through a really bad time, very depressed and felt hopeless. He started messaging me and now here we are.


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## hollydolly (Jan 28, 2022)

katlupe said:


> We first met when we were in kindergarten. My family moved to FL in 1962 and lost track of everyone in my class. Though, I didn't really remember him just his name. Then all these years later, he sent me a friend request on fakebook and I accepted it. I didn't have any interaction with him except for birthdays and the group for our hometown. Then I was going through a really bad time, very depressed and felt hopeless. He started messaging me and now here we are.


wow!! what were the chances ?


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## Autumn72 (Mar 21, 2022)

feywon said:


> For many years it's just been my daughter and i for holidays except for a few times son Owen and his family visited or son Seth did, and once or twice i got to have them ALL together for one.  But we still do holiday dinners--just a little scaled down.  Thanksgiving we roast a turkey breast not whole turkey and i make a small batch of the fruit salad that was always popular with my kids.


You must tell me how you got them to agree to have the Holiday  dinner with you. Seriously I'd love to know.
Thanks in advance.


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## feywon (Mar 22, 2022)

Autumn72 said:


> You must tell me how you got them to agree to have the Holiday  dinner with you. Seriously I'd love to know.
> Thanks in advance.


If my sons lived closer it would probably happen more often but one is in Hawaii (his main base for 16 of his 20 yrs of service was Pearl Harbor) and the other in Mesa, AZ about an 8 hour drive from us. Not difficult when it's just the 4 of us, (daughter lives with me, shares all expenses) extended family in other states.  Their only remaining maternal Aunty and her first husband could sometimes be problematic at holiday meals when they were younger. But now the biggest we get is me, my 3 kids and before their divorce, Owen's wife and my grandson, Liam.  

Being a day away allows  Owen & Liam usually come for a week in late June each year sometimes being here for both his birthday (6/27, he's the older twin by less than 5 minutes) and 4th of July.  Liam, now 13, likes having the 4th here because our small town's fireworks are quite visible from our house on the outskirts.  So we can view them from here.


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