# Anybody have any wild and crazy family stories to relate?



## GeorgiaXplant (Mar 27, 2015)

You know, the kind that wouldn't be on Jerry Springer because they're too wild and crazy?

Cousins who ran away and joined the circus? Brothers/sisters who forgot to divorce their spouse(s) and remarried? Relatives whose family gatherings are not-to-be-missed social events because you'd miss the next bizarre happening?

Do tell...


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## applecruncher (Mar 27, 2015)

I never had a Jerry Springer family, but there were a couple of “characters".

I had an uncle who was somewhat of a drifter (and womanizer). He’s long gone, but I remember some stories.

He lived in various states and worked at various types of jobs. When I was in high school I remember once when my mom wasn’t home and I took a call from a woman saying she was a nun and that she was quite concerned about him. She left her phone number. When I gave the message to my mom and stepdad I saw some eyerolling.

Every few years he showed up he would stay with my grandparents or one of the aunts/uncles who were still speaking to him. When some relatives saw him coming (or got a warning call from someone) they would turn down TV, dim lights and  :hide:

I remember once he was staying with an aunt whose husband was in Vietman. Shady uncle asked to use her car to go run some errands, and (you guessed it)…….never came back (until several years later) and the car was long gone. He had wild stories about hanging out with famous people, and how he “helped” so many people out. :yeahright: But after he left there were calls and mail from bill collectors. :lame:


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## GeorgiaXplant (Mar 27, 2015)

I had a cousin who was rather well-endowed. She was called Cousin Patsy Tripletits.

Surprisingly, none of my 13 brothers or sisters has done anything really newsworthy, at least so far.

Also had an uncle who met a long-legged, blonde hardbod, 30 years younger than he, while on a sNOwbird jaunt with my aunt to Padre Island, Texas. He sent my aunt home, went off to Mexico and got a quickie divorce, then married the young lovely. Only stayed that way for less than a year before getting another quickie divorce in Mexico and going back home to my aunt. They remarried and stayed that way for many years until they both died of old age.


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## Josiah (Mar 27, 2015)

My ex-wife who is a Marxist arranged unbeknownst to me for my 14 year old son to attend a young Marxist rally in North Korea. Afterwards when I questioned the wisdom of this folly, my ex-wife argued that it would look good on his résumé.


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## applecruncher (Mar 27, 2015)

> it would look good on his résumé.



Huh???   It boggles the mind.


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## GeorgiaXplant (Mar 27, 2015)

Holy crap! One hopes that you learned that she was a Marxist AFTER you married her

Look good on his resume? How? And did it not occur to your ex that it would NOT look good on YOUR resume?


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## Kadee (Mar 27, 2015)

My half sister was wild and crazy, I say was,as she passed away 9 years ago at 50 years of age ,from a blood related cancer which according to the doctors was more than likely caused by her drug abuse.
She spent time in prison,I was never told why and I never asked,,
She would go to car yard and ask to take a car for a test drive and never return,She would at times turn up in my drive way tooting the horn in the Stolen" car ..
She had a child at 15, which she told me about a week before her death, ( I already knew, but I was not living in SA at the time she had the child) I felt really sad for her on her death bed she was trying to trace the child a girl, and she discovered the hospital had a record of the birth, but no record of the child ever being adopted out, It's a mystery where the child went..?
As she was taken "home" a week after her birth.( She told me who the father was it was a case of family ****** assault) 
Her twin sister organised for her not to have a funeral as she was allegedly married to someone in (Western Australia)at the time of her death (Passed away in S.A) and she requested he not be notified ( we never knew him as I don't think she had been with him long)


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## Josiah (Mar 27, 2015)

GeorgiaXplant said:


> Holy crap! One hopes that you learned that she was a Marxist AFTER you married her
> 
> Look good on his resume? How? And did it not to your ex that it would NOT look good on YOUR resume?



My ex-wife's adoption of Marxism took place while she was working on her PhD theses and by that time we weren't having much to do with each other.


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## GeorgiaXplant (Mar 27, 2015)

I forgot about my sister, who cherishes money and Things. Some years ago she was divorcing her second husband, and she asked one of our brothers to go to court with her for moral support. Our brother related the events of the divorce hearing. The judge said that since our sister couldn't agree on a division of property with her soon-to-be-ex, everything they owned had to be sold and the proceeds split 50/50. Our sister piped up and declared "I'll have it all or I'll have _nothing_!" Said the judge, "So ordered. Divorce granted."

She and her first and second husbands had no children.

She's divorced her third husband twice and remarried him twice. They have two grown children. For the time being, they are married...


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## DoItMyself (Mar 27, 2015)

I have a cousin who was a capo for the Lucchese family.  The family decided that, because of a 1991 guilty plea in a RICO case he might turn, so they tried to kill him.  In an attempt to keep him from becoming an informant, Gaspipe Casso ordered him killed.  He was shot 12 times by Little Al D'Arco but he managed to survived.  Since his wife and family were also threatened (something that was normally forbidden in the mafia) he became a government witness; he and his family were put into the witness protection.  In 1997 he also testified against the Genovese family.


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## GeorgiaXplant (Mar 28, 2015)

DoIt...my goodness! Shot 12 times and lived to tell about it! Are they still in witness protection?


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## Josiah (Mar 28, 2015)

GeorgiaXplant said:


> I forgot about my sister, who cherishes money and Things. Some years ago she was divorcing her second husband, and she asked one of our brothers to go to court with her for moral support. Our brother related the events of the divorce hearing. The judge said that since our sister couldn't agree on a division of property with her soon-to-be-ex, everything they owned had to be sold and the proceeds split 50/50. Our sister piped up and declared "I'll have it all or I'll have _nothing_!" Said the judge, "So ordered. Divorce granted."
> 
> She and her first and second husbands had no children.
> 
> ...



So your sister said "I'll have it all or nothing" and so ended up with nothing. That must have humbled her a bit?


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## Shirley (Mar 28, 2015)

I'm writing a book about mine. You can preorder a copy for three easy payments of $19.99.


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## GeorgiaXplant (Mar 28, 2015)

Josiah...humbled? Certainly not! She's still incensed about it after all these years. After all, it wasn't HER fault that she got nothing; it was the unfair judge's fault.

Shirley, what? No discount for friends?


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## applecruncher (Mar 28, 2015)

DoIt’s story reminded me of another one.

When I still lived in my hometown one of my brothers was a close friend of the guy who lived a few houses down the street. Nice kid, but he exaggerated’ a lot. 

For example, he said he was dating a Playboy bunny (who we never met).

When the first Godfather movie came out in 1972, he was about 19 yrs old and he was completely entranced, and talked about it a lot (he often was at our house for dinner). Soon he ‘confided’ that he worked for a Mafia Don but couldn’t reveal the name. He really got into character – wore a hat similar to a Fedora with a brim, often looked to the left and right nervously as he left the house, and said he had a Maserati that he had to keep in an undisclosed location. (Meanwhile he drove a battered pickup truck). Kinda funny, but also pathetic.


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## Mrs. Robinson (Mar 28, 2015)

Well. About 30 years ago,my niece married her boyfriend of about four years-she was 18,he was 32. My brother had found out about their relationship early on and flipped out so they were forbidden to see each other but did it on the sly anyway. Of course,once she turned 18,there was nothing he could do. I took some time,but after their son was born,he accepted him. Then my brother`s first wife (said niece`s mom) ended up falling in love with her son in law`s brother and they married. He was the younger brother of her son in law-so daughter was married to older brother,mom was married to younger brother,and they both got pregnant and had babies one month apart. Then my niece and husband moved to a hippie town just north of me and opened a bookstore. She became involved in community theater and met a guy and she ende up "marrying" him as well-not legally,of course,but in some kind of hippie ceremony. The three of them lived happily together on their mountaintop until about four years ago when she and "hubby" #2 broke up and then she and hubby #1 divorced. She then had a new boyfriend move in,that lasted about a year,and now she has a new man-the "love of her life". She sold the mountain house and is moving to the coast with her new love. We shall see. Oh,mom and brother in law divorced years ago,when their daughter was very,very young-he turned out to be an abusive guy.


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## DoItMyself (Mar 29, 2015)

GeorgiaXplant said:


> DoIt...my goodness! Shot 12 times and lived to tell about it! Are they still in witness protection?



He was brought out of the witness protection program in 1997 to testify in the Genovese RICO trial, and that's the last I ever heard anything about them.  He was/is 4 years older than I am so he may very well have since died.
He was morbidly obese-somewhere around 450 pounds or more.  In an odd twist of fate, it was all the excess fat that saved him when he was shot 12 times.


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## Keesha (Nov 25, 2018)

This is an old thread revived because I find it interesting . 
My husband’s great grandfather was a doctor. He became a doctor by walking on the beach, finding a chest of doctors books and equipment so read the books and appointed himself a doctor. He became the town doctor.


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## jujube (Nov 25, 2018)

My dad had a married cousin who was messin' around with a married woman, whose husband promptly shot him dead.  

Come the funeral, the cousin's wife (who was a big ol' country gal) was escorted into the church and seated in the front row.  Just as the funeral started, the girlfriend entered the church, dressed in black with a long black veil, and sat about half-way down the aisle.

The funeral started and the girlfriend started mourning...."Oh Bud, you were too good for this earth!  Oh Bud, the Lord always takes the good ones!  Oh Bud, what am I going to do without you?"

Bud's wife stood up, flipped back her veil, walked down the aisle and snatched the girlfriend out of the pew.  She knelt on her, grabbed her hair and proceeded to bang her head on the floor.  HARLOT!! HARLOT!!"

I was about 4 or so and vividly remember standing up on the pew while my mother was trying to pull me down and seeing the wife's dress flipped up from her exertions and her very large very girdled rear end up in the air as she pummeled the girlfriend.

After the initial shock wore off, several male relatives pulled her off and got her back into her front pew.  They hustled the girlfriend out the doors.  The funeral proceeded.

This a good reason why my family does.not.have.funerals.


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## jujube (Nov 25, 2018)

Keesha said:


> This is an old thread revived because I find it interesting .
> My husband’s great grandfather was a doctor. He became a doctor by walking on the beach, finding a chest of doctors books and equipment so read the books and appointed himself a doctor. He became the town doctor.



That seems to have been common back then.  I had a great uncle who was a lawyer.  He never even graduated from high school but "read law" with a local lawyer and then hung up a shingle and practiced "country law".  

They were probably as good doctors and lawyers as those who went to school.


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## Butterfly (Dec 4, 2018)

Josiah said:


> So your sister said "I'll have it all or nothing" and so ended up with nothing. That must have humbled her a bit?



It is NEVER a good idea to pop off to a judge!  We once had a client who was prone to outbursts. I had to go along with the trial team every day to court and it was my job to keep him from doing it -- I'm sure his shins were black and blue from my kicking him under the table every time it looked like he was going to open his big fat mouth.  And there was one client who called the judge a stupid b*tch in open court.  That did NOT go down well -- got him some extra months at sentencing plus a stint for contempt.


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## Catlady (Dec 11, 2018)

DoItMyself said:


> He was morbidly obese-somewhere around 450 pounds or more.  In an odd twist of fate, it was all the excess fat that saved him when he was shot 12 times.



Congratulations!  You provided the ONLY reason I've read that makes it worth it to be morbidly obese.  LOL


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## WhatInThe (Dec 14, 2018)

All that I can say is that our family, all with gray hair at this point has had more Springeresk drama in their latter years than many younger immature 20-30 year old adults experience much earlier. Family politics have made things extremely dicey for everyone. Some have already cut off all conversation and communication even at funerals or in hospitals.


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## Betty&Jeremy (Dec 15, 2018)

Started a relationship with my next door neighbor who is 35 years younger than me_. _Prior to that, I never dreamed or even considered of being with a guy more than 2 years younger. We are now engaged and planning to get married in the summer.


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## Sassycakes (Dec 16, 2018)

Wild and crazy family ? I'm thinking my Mom came from a family of 11,my Dad a family of 8. I must have over 80 first cousins because my Mom's brothers were very busy having many wives and children. Did I mention my family is also Italian, so you know many many crazy things went on.:yes:epper:epper:


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## Betty&Jeremy (Dec 16, 2018)

Sassycakes said:


> Wild and crazy family ? I'm thinking my Mom came from a family of 11,my Dad a family of 8. I must have over 80 first cousins because my Mom's brothers were very busy having many wives and children. Did I mention my family is also Italian, so you know many many crazy things went on.:yes:epper:epper:



Sicilian?


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## Gary O' (Dec 16, 2018)

GeorgiaXplant said:


> You know, the kind that wouldn't be on Jerry Springer because they're too wild and crazy?
> 
> Cousins who ran away and joined the circus? Brothers/sisters who forgot to divorce their spouse(s) and remarried? Relatives whose family gatherings are not-to-be-missed social events because you'd miss the next bizarre happening?
> 
> Do tell...


Dang, I've held off long enough
(thought this thread might play itself out)

I wrote a bit on some of my rels in another thread
(gawd, I hate redundancy.....but the beauty is.... posts can be skipped)

Anyway, my folks aren't all that weird, so I made them my mental adventure

Goes like this;

_*My mind wanders (travels) sometimes
 sometimes to the edge
 during those times a keyboard is employed

 (forgive me)
*_
_*a pre-first draft (unedited) excerpt from a morning's mental urge;



 Anybody got close to near to close relatives that seem to live a cut above everone around them including you?

 These are kin, that if you had the choice, you’d pick for Hitler’s cronies, their lives ending by the hand of Idi Amin’s pals. 
It’s a dream you have anyway.

 These are not necessarily smug folks, as they’ve been raised to be proper with kindly remarks saved for the mentally disadvantaged (you), 
but still, 
when in conversation, you seem to come off as a curiosity, a toy that should have been discarded but kept because, well, it’s been passed down from aged family members.

 These are your kinfolks that you wish weren’t. 
 But there you are, at their place.
 And there they are, choosing the correct fork with mindless ease, while it dawns on you that you not only have one, but both elbows on the table.
 This felonious act is like discovering, while you’re waiting for the bus, you have no pants on.

 Yeah, there they are, wittily chatting about current events, glancing your way, hoping you will say something so they can have a good mutual laugh, jumping on your blurted fractured words like the ravenous hyenas they are.

 But you know this, so you amiably reach for your seventh dinner role, because you know the lone knife is for butter…pretty sure.

 And there’s your sister, blending nicely, and even your little brother, cute little bastard, seems to be one of them, along with mom and dad, all exchanging quips and witticisms. 

 So you begin to feel a tad self-conscious, and thirsty, since your fourth glass of juice has managed to cause that loaf of dinner rolls to swell to the max in your twisted up stomach.

‘Why’d the moron throw the clock out the window?’

‘Whud he say? ‘

snicker giggle giggle giggle....rising, swelling to a tidal wave of uproarious laughter

‘I dunno, Gary, why did the moron do that (snarkle)?’

The beets look pale compared to you.

 Only you are smiling, laughing sappily with them.

 But, on the inside you’re envisioning Himmler’s storm troopers bashing down the door, and hauling everone outside.

 You are untouched, saved actually.

 Later you stroll out to the gazebo where everone is flailing away, hanging upside down.
 You walk slowly by these relatives of yours, stopping in front of your cousin’s bobbing head.

‘TO EFFING SEE THE EFFING TIME EFFING FLY!!!!’

Later that day, sitting in the gazebo, finally with your own thoughts, you settle your mind with the calming resolution of just writing a book.....



 So, you never had relatives like that, you say?

 Me neither

 But it still won’t keep me from writing about them.... 

*_


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## Sassycakes (Dec 16, 2018)

Betty&Jeremy said:


> Sicilian?



No both my sets of grandparents came from Naples !


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## CeeCee (Dec 17, 2018)

Gary O' said:


> Dang, I've held off long enough
> (thought this thread might play itself out)
> 
> I wrote a bit on some of my rels in another thread
> ...



You did a great job painting a picture for me with your words....I could see it all.


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## GeorgiaXplant (Dec 17, 2018)

Betty&Jeremy said:


> Started a relationship with my next door neighbor who is 35 years younger than me_. _Prior to that, I never dreamed or even considered of being with a guy more than 2 years younger. We are now engaged and planning to get married in the summer.



Nobody turns a hair when it's a man who's 35 years older than his fiancée. However, a younger guy is definitely not for me. I have seven younger brothers and raised two sons and there's no way on God's green earth I'd take another one to raise.


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## Betty&Jeremy (Dec 18, 2018)

GeorgiaXplant said:


> Nobody turns a hair when it's a man who's 35 years older than his fiancée. However, a younger guy is definitely not for me. I have seven younger brothers and raised two sons and there's no way on God's green earth I'd take another one to raise.



i always thought that way, he lived next door, always helped me out with things and has not been a child in any way. He of course is still working, he is very successful,  makes good money and pays for everything. Even when he moved in, he started paying my mortgage (I insisted he moved to my place because I did not want to move out). As for  turning a hair, we do get looked at a lot, especially since I keep my hair natural grey. I tend to not want to hold hands because I am shy about our age difference, however he insists we hold hands even when in public. I would have never imagined being with a guy 5 years younger, but it just happened and we become inseparable. But yes, a little on the wild and crazy side, though never intended for this.


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## Gary O' (Dec 18, 2018)

CeeCee said:


> You did a great job painting a picture for me with your words....I could see it all.



always my intent, my hope


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## Catlady (Dec 18, 2018)

Betty&Jeremy said:


> he started paying my mortgage (I insisted he moved to my place because I did not want to move out)



I'm not sure about this, you need to research or ask a lawyer.  If he's paying your mortgage, he could lay legal claim to part of your house.  If you insist on putting him on the deed, then this is a moot point.  Not just because of your age difference, but you need to know what your legal ramifications are with this relationship.  Just a warning for caution.


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## ronk (Dec 23, 2018)

I have many wild and crazy stories about my immediate family. I don't really care to put them in writing at this time. I've been working on an idea for "cartoons." I've done a few, and my Dad got mad at me!

I had one ancestor who was in the Civil War. He was actually mentioned in a book about the Civil War. He apparently escaped from Andersonville Prison, or maybe he was released. He took off, probably fought again, got caught again, and died there.

I found many interesting stories about relatives through my Ancestry research. I paid extra for a Newspapers.com membership, and did some searching. One ancestor was a stagecoach driver. One couple (Great, great grandparents) drove a buggy to a feed store. The husband went into the store, and the wife stayed in the wagon. The horse got startled, and took off, wildly. The wife was slightly injured in the wagon accident. Many news stories I found were really "local interest" stories. Families got together for visits, reunions, etc. My father's Dad was listed as the youngest bear hunter in Vermont in the early 1900s.


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## Ken N Tx (Dec 23, 2018)




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## GeorgiaXplant (Dec 24, 2018)

Ken, my daughter actually has a plaque that says that on a table in her entry hall!


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## Betty&Jeremy (Feb 26, 2019)

Very true, we do get the looks often, he doesn't care, but it makes me feel uneasy. We were on a cruise recently, we kissed often as we are just two love birds, but some notice and one woman walked up to me, I told her my story.


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## Keesha (Feb 26, 2019)

Betty&Jeremy said:


> Started a relationship with my next door neighbor who is 35 years younger than me_. _Prior to that, I never dreamed or even considered of being with a guy more than 2 years younger. We are now engaged and planning to get married in the summer.


My man’s 5 + years younger. 35 years younger is really a LOT younger. If you have children is he younger than them and if so , how do they feel about it?




Gary O' said:


> Dang, I've held off long enough
> (thought this thread might play itself out)
> 
> I wrote a bit on some of my rels in another thread
> ...


We truly have much in common Gary.


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## jujube (Feb 26, 2019)

Insanity doesn't run in my family.  

Rather, it strolls through it at a leisurely pace, getting thoroughly acquainted with everyone.


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## Keesha (Feb 26, 2019)

jujube said:


> Insanity doesn't run in my family.
> 
> Rather, it strolls through it at a leisurely pace, getting thoroughly acquainted with everyone.



Lucky you. :lol: 
Thats funny. I suddenly feel blessed. :flowers:


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## Betty&Jeremy (Feb 27, 2019)

Keesha said:


> My man’s 5 + years younger. 35 years younger is really a LOT younger. If you have children is he younger than them and if so , how do they feel about it?



My daughter is 45 and lives out of town, when she came to visit, she was concerned, most especially sinceI am not the type of woman to be a cougar. However after she met him, she felt more at ease and when we get married in the summer, she is bringing her husband. they will spend some time with us before attending our wedding.


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## Keesha (Apr 22, 2019)

Betty&Jeremy said:


> My daughter is 45 and lives out of town, when she came to visit, she was concerned, most especially sinceI am not the type of woman to be a cougar. However after she met him, she felt more at ease and when we get married in the summer, she is bringing her husband. they will spend some time with us before attending our wedding.


Sorry for the late response. This is exciting news Betty. Are you getting all the plans made for the wedding?
Thats great that your daughter and your SIL will get to meet him. 
What is your colour scheme for the wedding?


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## Betty&Jeremy (Apr 23, 2019)

Keesha said:


> Sorry for the late response. This is exciting news Betty. Are you getting all the plans made for the wedding?
> Thats great that your daughter and your SIL will get to meet him.
> What is your colour scheme for the wedding?



Thank you! Merlot and Peach. So excited.


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## Keesha (Apr 23, 2019)

Betty&Jeremy said:


> Thank you! Merlot and Peach. So excited.


Awesome. I’ll have to look Merlot up but Enjoy. :love_heart:


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