# Hit on today



## CindyLouWho (Jun 3, 2021)

So running errands today, started walking from the parking lot into a store and I hear a man say " I like your smile", (I had my mask on).

So, my first impression was that he wasn't shy, secondly, he was handsome, appeared to be in his 60's, in shape, in a nice vehicle......
Then we started talking about masks, Covid, etc., then he started talking about how he likes to go to thrift stores and flea markets and asked if I liked to do that......I'm standing there thinking this conversation I'm having with this stranger is very comfortable and effortless......(how funny this is happening since I woke up today feeling pretty down and sick of being alone....)
Then...I asked him what made him roll down his window, in the first place, and say he liked my smile? He says, "your blond hair...I like it". (Ok..well anyway).....
Then this other guy shows up outside his driver side window, beckoning to me to tell the guy to roll down his window.
Obviously they knew each and were talking back and forth for a minute, catching up.....the guy in the car tells his friend he just picked up his new hat and some other (political) items, and he stops to say to me, " I don't know what your affiliation is?".......
Well he starts going on to his friend, (his voice escalating) and the friend engaging in this political conversation.
Then the guy in the car catches himself and says to me, "well that's a conversation for a different time". (I'm thinking, yeah, politics, never, once you get a a roll....that was just a glimpse, courtesy of his friend stopping by)

So, the guy outside the car leaves and we talk a few more minutes and then he says, " I'm not going to rip your clothes off or anything (his humor, I'm guessing) but... (reaches for cloth bag in car) and hands me a business card with pre-written home phone # and a text # (hmm...thinking how often does he pull this maneuver?) Says he used to work at the business on the card  and is now a retired Air Force man and says "if you want to send me a text or call me we can meet up and do something some time".

So, I went from thinking this might actual be someone I may want to meet up with and get to know, to no, guess not.

Crap.

Would you contact him further?


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## AnnieA (Jun 3, 2021)

CindyLouWho said:


> Would you contact him further?



Not no, but hell NO!  Lost count of the red flags in that one!


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## terry123 (Jun 3, 2021)

Same as AnnieA.


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## CindyLouWho (Jun 3, 2021)

Yep, that's how I felt by the end of the  conversation.....all looked normal and hopeful til he opened his mouth.
There have been other instances where I knew right way, nope,... but this guy was okay until halfway through...or less.


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## Aunt Bea (Jun 3, 2021)

I'm always leery of people that give me too much information about themselves within the first five minutes.

I suppose it wouldn't hurt to get together for a nice glass of Chianti.


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## Judycat (Jun 3, 2021)

Blah. When it seems too good to be true, it usually is.


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## JustBonee (Jun 3, 2021)

AnnieA said:


> Not no, but hell NO!  Lost count of the red flags in that one!



The only thing missing is the  ... "Could you lend me $10,000"......


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## CindyLouWho (Jun 3, 2021)

Judycat said:


> Blah. When it seems too good to be true, it usually is.


That's exactly what I was thinking as I was driving home.....well, at least I have some Pinot Noir chilling in my fridge. 
It was a fun minute while it lasted.


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## AnnieA (Jun 3, 2021)

CindyLouWho said:


> So running errands today, started walking from the parking lot into a store and I hear a man say " I like your smile", (I had my mask on).
> 
> So, my first impression was that he wasn't shy, secondly, he was handsome, appeared to be in his 60's, in shape, in a nice vehicle......
> Then we started talking about masks, Covid, etc., then he started talking about how he likes to go to thrift stores and flea markets and asked if I liked to do that......I'm standing there thinking this conversation I'm having with this stranger is very comfortable and effortless.....*.(how funny this is happening since I woke up today feeling pretty down and sick of being alone....)*
> ...



The part I bolded struck me because predators pick up on vulnerability.  The only two times in my life I've been stalked through a mall/store, I felt really bad those days.  Gavin de Becker's _The Gift of Fear_ covers that and so much more so well. Trust your instincts.


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## hollydolly (Jun 3, 2021)

AnnieA said:


> Not no, but hell NO!  Lost count of the red flags in that one!


Oh thank God someone said it immediately... I was screaming in my head whilst reading it... NOOOOOOOOOOO !!!


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## RadishRose (Jun 3, 2021)

" " I'm not going to rip your clothes off or anything......"

Whaaa?????

Run.


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## CindyLouWho (Jun 3, 2021)

AnnieA said:


> The part I bolded struck me because predators pick up on vulnerability.  The only two times in my life I've been stalked through a mall/store, I felt really bad those days.  Gavin de Becker's _The Gift of Fear_ covers that and so much more so well. Trust your instincts.


Oh yes, AnnieA that is true how they pick up on vulnerabilities.

At the time I had my sunglasses on, my mask and did not say anything to lead him to believe I would call him, other than the few minutes of my time I gave him standing there talking. 

I was stalked in the mall in my early 30's and that was a totally different feeling....bad vibes, my instincts kicked in, my heart started racing. 
He followed me from one end of the mall to the other.....I darted in a card store and quietly told someone what was happening.... security guy came in and walked me to my car. Thank God for him. I was shaking driving home.


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## CindyLouWho (Jun 3, 2021)

RadishRose said:


> " " I'm not going to rip your clothes off or anything......"
> 
> Whaaa?????
> 
> Run.


I know right!?

He was trying to disguise in his "humor" what he really wanted to do.  Pretty blatant.


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## Devi (Jun 3, 2021)

The guy sounds scary. He led with a lie (he admired your smile although you were wearing a mask), then came the tip-off scariness of "I'm not going to rip your clothes off or anything". Jeez.


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## CindyLouWho (Jun 3, 2021)

Devi said:


> The guy sounds scary. He led with a lie (he admired your smile although you were wearing a mask), then came the tip-off scariness of "I'm not going to rip your clothes off or anything". Jeez.


Yes, he caught me off guard for a minute  when he rolled down his window and  started talking so easily, then later I thought, (like he's probably done a thousand times before.)


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## hollydolly (Jun 3, 2021)

CindyLouWho said:


> Yes, he caught me off guard when rolled down his window and started talking so easily, like he'd done this a thousand times before.


he probably has, I wonder where those women are now...


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## CinnamonSugar (Jun 3, 2021)

Eeeeek!


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## CindyLouWho (Jun 3, 2021)

hollydolly said:


> he probably has, I wonder where those women are now...


Hopefully they went about their business.....
...it can feel deceiving too, I'm in a nice part of town, lots of people around, sunny nice day.....it doesn't matter where you are, or how nice they appear.


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## win231 (Jun 3, 2021)

Is he Nigerian?


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## Meanderer (Jun 3, 2021)




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## Jules (Jun 3, 2021)

Even though it made you feel leery, it did pick up your spirits, so not all bad.


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## Geezerette (Jun 3, 2021)

Among the Sr women I know we’re all joking about how the PD has us “talking to strangers”....
But definitely not to ones that might hail us through their car window.


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## Gaer (Jun 3, 2021)

I went to the grocery today and this guy followed me all over the store.  If I went fast, he went fast. if I went slow, he went slow.  If I stopped to look at something, he stood a few feet away and pretended to look at something, but he was really looking at me the whole time.  
I thought maybe he was a "store cop" but he followed me to the check out and stared at me while I paid for my groceries. Then he paid for his  "as I made my get-a-way!)  he ran outside to watch me drive away!  
This was ODD!
I almost asked him WHAT?  but I thought I'd just ignore him!


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## CindyLouWho (Jun 3, 2021)

Jules said:


> Even though it made you feel leery, it did pick up your spirits, so not all bad.


Thanks, Jules. 
A fleeting moment as this one was though, I'd rather do without considering.


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## horseless carriage (Jun 3, 2021)

CindyLouWho said:


> That's exactly what I was thinking as I was driving home.....well, at least I have some Pinot Noir chilling in my fridge.
> It was a fun minute while it lasted.


Had you been working behind the bar of a rather trendy place that my wife and I enjoyed, pre-lockdown, you might just have been the subject of one of my tongue in cheek taunts. When the young lady said: "Yes Sir," I asked if there was any of the new Pinot wines that were being advertised for the older generation. She admitted that she hadn't heard of any such advert, then asked: Which Pinot wine exactly?"

"The Pinot grape," I explained, has been cultivated to be far less diuretic than most wine producing grapes. "Diuretic?" she said, questioningly. "Diuretic," I went on to tell her, "is any substance that promotes diuresis, the increased production of urine." But the Pinot company had produced a new grape after years of research, that was a blessing for older people who enjoyed their wine but would often abstain because it caused many a bathroom visit. They have named it: _"Pinot More."_


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## JonDouglas (Jun 3, 2021)

Jules said:


> Even though it made you feel leery, it did pick up your spirits, so not all bad.


I was hit on once in the parking lot of the grocery store (probably because of the Miata) and it picked up my spirits a whole lot.  I didn't make it to being giddy but I smiled all the way home.


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## katlupe (Jun 5, 2021)

The fact that he said he is a retired air force man reminds me of the guys on FB who send me friend requests with their pictures in uniforms.

I had a guy in Walmart ask me out for dinner and drinks! I am thinking in my head, "you are probably my son's age!" What I did I do to get his attention, I have no idea. But I have seen those articles telling people looking to meet someone to check out grocery stores or churches.


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## Ruthanne (Jun 5, 2021)

I would have walked away from such a pushy, rude man most likely.  He could have been up to who knows what.


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## dobielvr (Jun 5, 2021)

Gaer said:


> I went to the grocery today and this guy followed me all over the store.  If I went fast, he went fast. if I went slow, he went slow.  If I stopped to look at something, he stood a few feet away and pretended to look at something, but he was really looking at me the whole time.
> I thought maybe he was a "store cop" but he followed me to the check out and stared at me while I paid for my groceries. Then he paid for his  "as I made my get-a-way!)  he ran outside to watch me drive away!
> This was ODD!
> I almost asked him WHAT?  but I thought I'd just ignore him!


That's scary Gaer....


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## Knight (Jun 5, 2021)

Says he used to work at the business on the card and is now a retired Air Force man and says "if you want to send me a text or call me we can meet up and do something some time".

If you are at all concerned then there should be enough info using that info to discover what you might want to know. If not concerned then chalk it up to a making your day brighter & aware that your smile if you did smile behind your mask works.


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## CindyLouWho (Jun 5, 2021)

Ruthanne said:


> I would have walked away from such a pushy, rude man most likely.  He could have been up to who knows what.


Get what you're saying Ruthanne, but he didn't present himself as an ass until halfway through the conversation.
I'm normally a fairly outgoing, upbeat engaging person, so, gave him the benefit of the doubt, until he did himself in. That was that.
I'm a strong, smart girl, I didn't feel threatened physically (even though he said stupid things) in the setting I was in - and if I had felt that way I know what to do. Nobody is messing with me, (unless I want them too) if they know what's good for them.
As I stated in the above post, I have been followed, the one time (above) in a mall, and twice in stores, and those instances, there was no benefit of the doubt, I sought help. My instincts let me know the difference.


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## CindyLouWho (Jun 5, 2021)

Knight said:


> Says he used to work at the business on the card and is now a retired Air Force man and says "if you want to send me a text or call me we can meet up and do something some time".
> 
> If you are at all concerned then there should be enough info using that info to discover what you might want to know. If not concerned then chalk it up to a making your day brighter & aware that your smile if you did smile behind your mask works.


Research is my middle name Knight, and part of my job...love to research things, so it's the first thing I did when I got home.
He lives in a subdivision about 6 minutes (2.3 mi) from me.
The place he used to work has been closed for a few years. 
.....and found out a few other minor things. 
So done deal....


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## Ruthanne (Jun 5, 2021)

CindyLouWho said:


> Get what you're saying Ruthanne, but he didn't present himself as an ass until halfway through the conversation.
> I'm normally a fairly outgoing, upbeat engaging person, so, gave him the benefit of the doubt, until he did himself in. That was that.
> I'm a strong, smart girl, I didn't feel threatened physically (even though he said stupid things) in the setting I was in - and if I had felt that way I know what to do. Nobody is messing with me, (unless I want them too) if they know what's good for them.
> As I stated in the above post, I have been followed, the one time (above) in a mall, and twice in stores, and those instances, there was no benefit of the doubt, I sought help. My instincts let me know the difference.


Well, that's the way you saw it.  I saw it differently as by the way you explained it right from the beginning.


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## CindyLouWho (Jun 5, 2021)

Ruthanne said:


> Well, that's the way you saw it.  I saw it differently as by the way you explained it right from the beginning.


No worries, Ruthanne, I don't mind if you have your own version of my story.


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## squatting dog (Jun 6, 2021)

Gaer said:


> I went to the grocery today and this guy followed me all over the store.  If I went fast, he went fast. if I went slow, he went slow.  If I stopped to look at something, he stood a few feet away and pretended to look at something, but he was really looking at me the whole time.
> I thought maybe he was a "store cop" but he followed me to the check out and stared at me while I paid for my groceries. Then he paid for his  "as I made my get-a-way!)  he ran outside to watch me drive away!
> This was ODD!
> I almost asked him WHAT?  but I thought I'd just ignore him!



Scary stuff Gaer. If and when there are no police close by, a small revolver in the purse. Simple to operate, point and pull... no slide action or safety buttons to worry about in a sudden and extremely dangerous situation.


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## Gary O' (Jun 6, 2021)

This thread reminds me of a couple posters I created a couple decades ago;


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## caroln (Jun 6, 2021)

CindyLouWho said:


> Then this other guy shows up outside his driver side window, beckoning to me to tell the guy to roll down his window.
> Obviously they knew each and were talking back and forth for a minute, catching up.....
> Would you contact him further?


Maybe I've watched too much Criminal Minds, but I'd be worried about this "other guy" being part of a possible tag team.  One to distract you, the other to stick the needle in your neck.


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## Alligatorob (Jun 6, 2021)

Hey Cindy, first you should feel flattered to have attracted his attention.  And second you did the right thing investigating him.  I would not take too much from the first interaction, he may just have been nervous and said some things without thinking.  Or he might be a creep, hard to tell.  I am sure you have or will make the right decision on this one.


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## CindyLouWho (Jun 6, 2021)

caroln said:


> Maybe I've watched too much Criminal Minds, but I'd be worried about this "other guy" being part of a possible tag team.  One to distract you, the other to stick the needle in your neck.


You're right, Caroln, good point, you can never rule out something like that happening.

Fictional shows like Criminal Minds play out more like non-fiction in this day and age.

I didn't get a feeling of being physically threatened or in danger, his weapon was his mouth, but you never know.

I was standing outside on the passenger side of the vehicle, no one sitting there, guy was sitting in drivers seat, and the other guy he knew was standing outside his driver's side door.....so would've had to have been a weapon of another choice.


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## Victor (Jun 6, 2021)

This man was probably up to no good, so best to forget him.  This is his tactic he uses,
and some lonely women may contact him. An obvious bad come-on, He might have been after money.
    Maybe one day a man will be sincere and innocent of motives, and ladies will not be scared off.


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## Knight (Jun 7, 2021)

A man rolls down his car window, & says I like your smile. A thank you & continue walking might seem to be the thing to do in this age of suspicion. But rather than do that a conversation was begun. 

During the conversation someone approaches the driver , begins a conversation. Time to walk away? Not yet when the other person walks away the conversation continues.

Why would the man that rolled his window down to create a 1st. impression think that meeting another time was out of the question? 
Quote
So, my first impression was that he wasn't shy, secondly, he was handsome, appeared to be in his 60's, in shape, in a nice vehicle...... 


His action
 "hands me a business card with pre-written home phone # and a text # (hmm...thinking how often does he pull this maneuver?) Says he used to work at the business on the card and is now a retired Air Force man." 


His offer
"if you want to send me a text or call me we can meet up and do something some time".

Nothing about where do you live or can I get your phone number or any way to make future contact. So with no further contact there is no way to know if the handsome fit man in his 60's in a nice car is really a nice person or someone that would do harm. 

Ah the mystery!!


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## CindyLouWho (Jun 7, 2021)

Knight said:


> A man rolls down his car window, & says I like your smile. A thank you & continue walking might seem to be the thing to do in this age of suspicion. But rather than do that a conversation was begun.
> 
> During the conversation someone approaches the driver , begins a conversation. Time to walk away? Not yet when the other person walks away the conversation continues.
> 
> ...


Well, first and foremost, I'm touched my post consumed your thoughts to the point of writing all these whimsical paragraphs.

Would you like his phone numbers? I'd be happy to pass them on to you, so you similar men could corroborate stories and events of the day. The good ole' boys mentality lives on. 

Your last paragraph, seriously? 
Do you think a woman would tell a stranger where she lives or give him her phone number?
Following me here? You're out of touch, it's okay, I understand.

In addition to the man I encountered that day, thank you for reminding me of the snarky men out there like you.

A Knight, but not a King.

Ah, the mystery!!


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## ohioboy (Jun 7, 2021)

I was hit on once by a hot chick while walking down the sidewalk. I said "Hey, put that hammer down lady".


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## jerry old (Jun 7, 2021)

all good advise, but i'm wondering, where does the live form to rip women's clothes off


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## Knight (Jun 8, 2021)

Quote
"Well, first and foremost, I'm touched my post consumed your thoughts to the point of writing all these whimsical paragraphs."

Not really your post it was the other posts. Red flags and warnings. What I read didn't generate that kind of response. Curiosity yes but no red flags.

Curiosity as to how a man sitting on the drivers side of his car with the window rolled up managed to get your attention. You posted that he liked you smile even though you were wearing a mask. I can't visualize that kind of encounter as happening. But somehow it happened. But no matter how that was possible at that point the choice to thank him & move on didn't happen. 

Doubtful to me that judging his age, his looks, & physical appearance was possible as you were passing by. But that could be explained by you stopping to chat for several minutes. Even to the extent of waiting until he rolled down his window to chat with another person.


Quote
"Would you like his phone numbers? I'd be happy to pass them on to you, so you similar men could corroborate stories and events of the day. The good ole' boys mentality lives on."

Of course not but you did. You could have declined the offer or threw the card in the trash. But that didn't happen. 

Quote
"Your last paragraph, seriously?
Do you think a woman would tell a stranger where she lives or give him her phone number?
Following me here? You're out of touch, it's okay, I understand."

Seriously I don't think a woman would stop to chat with a stranger for several minutes. I don't think a woman would give out contact information. Your post indicated you showed interest in the stranger. What you chatted about for several minutes is unknown. His comment about taking off your clothes seems off the wall but might have been as you put it his way of way of humor befor offering you his contact info. 

Quote
"In addition to the man I encountered that day, thank you for reminding me of the snarky men out there like you."

If I'm snarky in addition to the man you encountered that day when did he become snarky? 

As for not being a Knight. I'm guessing you mean the historical kind where a Knight rescues a damsel in distress. Excuse me but what you described doesn't exactly translate to a damsel in distress. Had I been there and you were being held & screaming for help I would have helped. 

You ended with should you contact him?  

Considering you spent time talking to this stranger for several minutes took & kept his contact information. Do you feel comfortable enough to meet in a public place of your choosing?


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## fmdog44 (Jun 8, 2021)

Ted Bundy was handsome and charming and .............................


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## Pepper (Jun 8, 2021)

What kind of desperation is it to contact a man who gives you his card?  If he were a serious man he would invite you to meet in a public place for coffee and ask if He could call You, not vice-versa.  I hope you were just joking when you ask:  Should I contact him further.  Yeah.  

Make sure you say "Can I see you again, pretty please?  I beg you, may I see you again?  Can't stop thinking about our encounter.  I'm desperate."


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## Pepper (Jun 8, 2021)

eta
Must say You have a beautiful smile though you were wearing a mask is a good pick up line!  Old fashioned but cute.


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## caroln (Jun 8, 2021)

fmdog44 said:


> Ted Bundy was handsome and charming and .............................


Good addendum to my needle in the neck theory!


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## Knight (Jun 8, 2021)

Pepper said:


> What kind of desperation is it to contact a man who gives you his card?  If he were a serious man he would invite you to meet in a public place for coffee and ask if He could call You, not vice-versa.  I hope you were just joking when you ask:  Should I contact him further.  Yeah.
> 
> Make sure you say "Can I see you again, pretty please?  I beg you, may I see you again?  Can't stop thinking about our encounter.  I'm desperate."


Or he could realize the way society works today & leave it open for a future meeting by a woman initiating contact instead of him. She did that spend several minutes talking to him, a complete stranger. 

Since women's lib & women wanting equality in all things, wouldn't the man be politically correct by letting her make the decision?


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## Martha Ferris (Jun 8, 2021)

CindyLouWho said:


> So running errands today, started walking from the parking lot into a store and I hear a man say " I like your smile", (I had my mask on).
> 
> So, my first impression was that he wasn't shy, secondly, he was handsome, appeared to be in his 60's, in shape, in a nice vehicle......
> Then we started talking about masks, Covid, etc., then he started talking about how he likes to go to thrift stores and flea markets and asked if I liked to do that......I'm standing there thinking this conversation I'm having with this stranger is very comfortable and effortless......(how funny this is happening since I woke up today feeling pretty down and sick of being alone....)
> ...


You should have run in the opposite direction when he said "I like your smile" and you are wearing a mask.  That is all you needed to hear.  Seriously.


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## terry123 (Jun 8, 2021)

I don't talk to strange men I see out and about. If somebody says hi, I say hi back and keep going. I am not that hard up for attention or conversation from a man.


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## Knight (Jun 8, 2021)

Martha Ferris said:


> You should have run in the opposite direction when he said "I like your smile" and you are wearing a mask.  That is all you needed to hear.  Seriously.


My thought exactly but that didn't happen, then there is the reason for that kind of thinking. Unlike the 1970's when Ted Bundy was a prolific serial killer there is a wealth of information that causes the kind of self preservation you post about.

Then & now IMO a huge difference in what to be aware of.


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## Pepper (Jun 8, 2021)

@Knight 
"Since women's lib & women wanting equality in all things, wouldn't the man be politically correct by letting her make the decision?"

In an email scam, the scammer will say and do nonsensical things, use bad grammar and spelling and have an outlandish story.  If the mark falls for that, the scammer goes full speed ahead.  Same here, I think.  We suffer a loneliness pandemic today, especially older women.  If you call him, you took the bite.  

My husband always loved playing the odds.  As a young man, he decided to see what would happen if he just stood on the corner and ask random women for a date.  He discovered there was always basically the same percentage of women who would respond favorably.  Had nothing to do with looks, etc.  Always the same percentage.  Let's call it a social experiment.

This guy knows he'll get lucky a certain percentage.   So, it has nothing to do with the charms of Cindy as an individual.  IMO.


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## Knight (Jun 8, 2021)

Pepper said:


> @Knight
> "Since women's lib & women wanting equality in all things, wouldn't the man be politically correct by letting her make the decision?"
> 
> In an email scam, the scammer will say and do nonsensical things, use bad grammar and spelling and have an outlandish story.  If the mark falls for that, the scammer goes full speed ahead.  Same here, I think.  We suffer a loneliness pandemic today, especially older women.  If you call him, you took the bite.
> ...


At the mans guessed age of in his 60's  the odds of "getting lucky"  probably are diminished quite a bit. 

IMO there has to be skill involved with spotting a woman in a mask as vulnerable, single, ready & willing to stop on the passenger side of a vehicle & chat with a stranger for several minutes.


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## Martha Ferris (Jun 8, 2021)

Knight said:


> At the mans guessed age of in his 60's  the odds of "getting lucky"  probably are diminished quite a bit.
> 
> IMO there has to be skill involved with spotting a woman in a mask as vulnerable, single, ready & willing to stop on the passenger side of a vehicle & chat with a stranger for several minutes.


Well, if he is approaching women and telling them that he likes their smile when they are wearing a mask there's a reason he needs to get lucky. He is either an idiot of thinks women are.  Has an "L' on his forehead.  Sadly there are too many women who will get twitterpated over the attention and ignore the obvious.   Or maybe he is a predator.  If he is that good at spotting, in your words "vulnerable, ready and willing" he leans toward predator.


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## Knight (Jun 8, 2021)

Martha Ferris said:


> Well, if he is approaching women and telling them that he likes their smile when they are wearing a mask there's a reason he needs to get lucky. He is either an idiot of thinks women are.  Has an "L' on his forehead.  Sadly there are too many women who will get twitterpated over the attention and ignore the obvious.   Or maybe he is a predator.  If he is that good at spotting, in your words "vulnerable, ready and willing" he leans toward predator.


That's part of the mystery. She was walking across a parking lot. No explanation other than to get her attention he said she had a nice smile.  If he was standing by his car, walking back to his car or even got out to make the comment that might make sense to me. But according to the post as best as can be determined he was sitting in his car on the drivers side with the window up.

I don't know how tall she is but to say he looked to be in his 60's handsome & fit  it seems to me she would have to get close enough & lean down to look thru the passenger side widow to make those observations. 

She was talking to him thru the passenger side window. We know that because she said someone came up on the drivers side, he had to roll the window down to talk to that someone. She waited until the man outside the car left then according to her began talking to him for a couple more minutes.

He would have to be one heck of a skilled predator to spot & somehow convince a masked woman to stop & chat with him for several minutes.


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## fuzzybuddy (Jun 10, 2021)

When I lived in NYC, I was walking home. There was a young woman in front of me.   She kept glancing back at me, and i knew what was going through her mind. We got across the street from my building. For some reason , she crossed the street.  When I started to cross, to go home, she got really scared. I yelled to her "Lady, I'm gay."   I can understand wanting to say you aren't a threat to a woman, but there's is just something in the " I'm not going to rip your clothes off or anything " line. It's kind of like you meet some one, and they "I'm not going to kill you". HUH?  It's just too specific a non-threat.


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## win231 (Jun 10, 2021)

terry123 said:


> I don't talk to strange men I see out and about. If somebody says hi, I say hi back and keep going. I am not that hard up for attention or conversation from a man.


That's 'cuz you ain't met me, baby.


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## Knight (Jun 10, 2021)

fuzzybuddy said:


> When I lived in NYC, I was walking home. There was a young woman in front of me.   She kept glancing back at me, and i knew what was going through her mind. We got across the street from my building. For some reason , she crossed the street.  When I started to cross, to go home, she got really scared. I yelled to her "Lady, I'm gay."   I can understand wanting to say you aren't a threat to a woman, but there's is just something in the " I'm not going to rip your clothes off or anything " line. It's kind of like you meet some one, and they "I'm not going to kill you". HUH?  It's just too specific a non-threat.


You have to remember the conversations lasted for several minutes. The content unknown.  But just to speculate what if that comment preceded his offering his card with contact info?  She accepted the card, wouldn't that make a difference?

This whole thread is about a man saying he liked a smile which wasn't visible. The woman for whatever her reason instead of saying thank you to the stranger & continuing on her way stopped & chatted for several minutes. 

Like a lot of news articles the reader is left with very little to go on.   The focus seems to be on the comment " I'm not going to rip your clothes off or anything " line. The timing of that as I pointed out  what if that comment preceded his offering his card with contact info?  

As in   I'm not going to rip your clothes off or anything " how about we meet somewhere here's my contact info. Which she accepted.

We just don't know. All we do know is that she was happy when he said what he initially said.


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## jerry old (Jun 10, 2021)

Ha  in that this occurred in NYC where the male stated "I'm not going to rip your clothes" is a good statement.
The chances of getting your clothes ripped off in NYC are not remote; be you male of female.
Ask FastTrax, he got out of NYC


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## Jules (Jun 10, 2021)

Unreal.  You gents have analyzed and basically shamed the OP.  She told you what happened and you’ve criticized everything she did.  You interpreted everything. You weren’t there, she was.  Nothing happened.  She was aware of the situation.  You don’t need to save her.  This is a member here, not a stranger in a newspaper article.  Please give your critiquing a rest.


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## Knight (Jun 10, 2021)

Jules said:


> Unreal.  You gents have analyzed and basically shamed the OP.  She told you what happened and you’ve criticized everything she did.  You interpreted everything. You weren’t there, she was.  Nothing happened.  She was aware of the situation.  You don’t need to save her.  This is a member here, not a stranger in a newspaper article.  Please give your critiquing a rest.


She posted a lengthy description of an encounter about a handsome, fit. 60 something stranger in a nice car & asked for opinions.  As you can see by the various posts most keyed in on the comment about ripping clothes off but ignored the rest of the content.  

IMO it's not shaming to actually read the entire 1st. post then offer an opinion based on the way the encounter began, the length of time spent chatting with a stranger.  

You are right we weren't there all we have to base an opinion on is the entire post not just one line. But some will do just that.


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## CindyLouWho (Jun 11, 2021)

Jules said:


> Unreal.  You gents have analyzed and basically shamed the OP.  She told you what happened and you’ve criticized everything she did.  You interpreted everything. You weren’t there, she was.  Nothing happened.  She was aware of the situation.  You don’t need to save her.  This is a member here, not a stranger in a newspaper article.  Please give your critiquing a rest.


*Jules, I just wanted to reach out and thank you for your recent reply on my behalf, it meant the world to me.  It speaks to your strong character, compassion, courage and most of all, insightfulness. You are one in a million. *

This thread, otherwise, does not deserve any more of my time, since it was taken in a spiteful, hateful direction initiated by Knight and then continued by his "followers", suprisingly, mostly women. The other comments, made mostly my men, who made jokes at the situation, go figure, some can only use "humor" as a way of communicating.

There has never been a "mystery" to my post, or reason to question the validity. My only mistake was thinking I could come here and share.  Obviously, I know it's a misnomer to think anyone on a forum, for the most part is someone you can trust or reach out to. It's a microcosm of the real world. Sometimes for whatever reason though, difficult changes in your life, loss of loved ones, no where else to turn, etc., may prompt you to try and reach out...either that..... or you just don't.

The internet sets up a perfect senario for cowards, naysayers and crass people to hide behind their computers spewing and projecting their insecurties, triggers and miserableness with themselves and their own lives at others. How bold, presumptuous and insenstive is that when you don't even know the other person, (a good person), and what they have been through or may be going through at the present time? Would you say these comments face to face? ......well, ok, _you probably_ _would. _

Vindictive replies by those of you in this thread are triggered and spurred by your own issues within yourself, a gross overreaction. Instead of lashing out at others, spend some time asking yourself why you would you reply with such animousity, and most imortantly what is the trade off you are getting out of doing that? It has nothing to do with me.......your nastiness it all about...._you_.

Move on. Unglue yourself from the forum chair and go buy some real "mystery" books to fill your insatiable narcissistic need.


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## Knight (Jun 11, 2021)

Would you say these comments face to face? ......well, ok, _you probably_ _would.

Yes I would. I asked my wife what she would do. Her reply say thank you & move on. But for whatever reason a well informed senior lady stopped & chatted several minutes, with a stranger in a nice car. _

You think animosity was the basis it wasn't. But curiosity about why a woman would spend several minutes talking to a stranger then post to ask should she contact him again was. Not surprising to me that women thought the same as my wife.  This is the internet that has people like me questioning, not simply bobbing my head up & down in agreement.  If we all did that there would be no reason to ask for & get opinions we may not like.

Notice unlike you I made no assumptions or  judge you. Questioning the why of things has always been something I do. As a way to understand others that has worked for me all my life.


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## win231 (Jun 11, 2021)

squatting dog said:


> Scary stuff Gaer. If and when there are no police close by, a small revolver in the purse. Simple to operate, point and pull... no slide action or safety buttons to worry about in a sudden and extremely dangerous situation.
> 
> 
> View attachment 168084


Years ago, I was in line at the market cashier & a woman in front of me didn't notice what fell out of her purse when she took out her wallet.  A nice High Standard 22 Magnum Derringer - this one.  I quickly picked it up before other shoppers noticed it & freaked out.  While we chatted outside the store, I explained that it was an "OK" choice, but it only has 2 shots & a snub .38 isn't much bigger & has 5 shots that are more effective.  She thanked me.  (I pity the guy who messes with her).


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## Packerjohn (Jun 11, 2021)

I'm a guy so I don't know.  No one ever did that to me.  LOL  Actually, I believe in taking it slow and easy.  Long term dating is a good idea.  Can't really tell you what to do but trust your gut feelings.  Beware of any red flags at all times.  Good luck!


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## Brookswood (Jun 12, 2021)

I've learned to trust my instincts when it comes to other people - male or female.

This guy made too many inappropriate remakes to a woman he didn't know  at all.  That bothers me.  OTOH,  many gals still like the _bad-boy_, even though they should be mature enough to have learned that lesson. So, maybe it works for him.

The other day while walking a public path, I was passed by a lady who greated me with a cheery good morning and made some other friendly remarks. Then she kept on going.    Who knows? If she does it again, I may try to chat further.


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## Sassycakes (Aug 14, 2021)

CindyLouWho said:


> So running errands today, started walking from the parking lot into a store and I hear a man say " I like your smile", (I had my mask on).
> 
> So, my first impression was that he wasn't shy, secondly, he was handsome, appeared to be in his 60's, in shape, in a nice vehicle......
> Then we started talking about masks, Covid, etc., then he started talking about how he likes to go to thrift stores and flea markets and asked if I liked to do that......I'm standing there thinking this conversation I'm having with this stranger is very comfortable and effortless......(how funny this is happening since I woke up today feeling pretty down and sick of being alone....)
> ...


 You did the right thing by just being pleasant and walking away without giving him any personal information about yourself. Did you notice if he was still in the parking lot when you left the store. Always beware if there is a possibility that someone can follow you and see where you live.


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## peppermint (Aug 14, 2021)

Sassycakes said:


> You did the right thing by just being pleasant and walking away without giving him any personal information about yourself. Did you notice if he was still in the parking lot when you left the store. Always beware if there is a possibility that someone can follow you and see where you live.


Hi sassy....If it was me, I would not even look at him....No matter what age I was....
It seems she did stay their for a while....Not Good.....If you don't know who the heck
he is......Go away!!!!   Trust me!....


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## SeaBreeze (Aug 14, 2021)

CindyLouWho said:


> So running errands today, started walking from the parking lot into a store and I hear a man say " I like your smile", (I had my mask on).
> 
> So, my first impression was that he wasn't shy, secondly, he was handsome, appeared to be in his 60's, in shape, in a nice vehicle......
> Then we started talking about masks, Covid, etc., then he started talking about how he likes to go to thrift stores and flea markets and asked if I liked to do that......I'm standing there thinking this conversation I'm having with this stranger is very comfortable and effortless......(how funny this is happening since I woke up today feeling pretty down and sick of being alone....)
> ...


No way!


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## SeaBreeze (Aug 14, 2021)

RadishRose said:


> " " I'm not going to rip your clothes off or anything......"
> 
> Whaaa?????
> 
> Run.


I know, that was the worst part.  As soon as he said that I would have had a few choice words for the creep and would have shut down any more interaction.


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## OneEyedDiva (Aug 14, 2021)

CindyLouWho said:


> *Jules, I just wanted to reach out and thank you for your recent reply on my behalf, it meant the world to me.  It speaks to your strong character, compassion, courage and most of all, insightfulness. You are one in a million. *
> 
> This thread, otherwise, does not deserve any more of my time, since it was taken in a spiteful, hateful direction initiated by Knight and then continued by his "followers", suprisingly, mostly women. The other comments, made mostly my men, who made jokes at the situation, go figure, some can only use "humor" as a way of communicating.
> 
> ...


Oooh gurrlll...TRUTH!!! Love it!! And a simple answer to your original question...No I wouldn't.


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## feywon (Aug 14, 2021)

AnnieA said:


> The part I bolded struck me because predators pick up on vulnerability.  The only two times in my life I've been stalked through a mall/store, I felt really bad those days.  Gavin de Becker's _The Gift of Fear_ covers that and so much more so well. Trust your instincts.


The Gift of Fear should be required reading for every young woman, definitely by time she's dating.  Maybe for guys too, to help them 'get it'. 
I'm not easily intimidated by much of anything but i do believe that a certain level of gut instinct, voice in the head saying 'i'm not trusting this person' is healthy. As i would say to guys who said "You're hurting my feelings." Cause i wouldn't be alone with them, 'Better your feelings than my body.'


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## Jennina (Aug 15, 2021)

CindyLouWho said:


> That's exactly what I was thinking as I was driving home.....well, at least I have some Pinot Noir chilling in my fridge.
> It was a fun minute while it lasted.


If you're curious, wouldn't hurt to check his fb. Then if you update everyone here, you have an impressive panel of judges who can spot red flags waiting for you.  I only saw 2.


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## Jennina (Aug 15, 2021)

JonDouglas said:


> I was hit on once in the parking lot of the grocery store (probably because of the Miata) and it picked up my spirits a whole lot.  I didn't make it to being giddy but I smiled all the way home.


So guys are not put off by women who make the first move?


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## Jennina (Aug 15, 2021)

Martha Ferris said:


> You should have run in the opposite direction when he said "I like your smile" and you are wearing a mask.  That is all you needed to hear.  Seriously.


I actually thought that was a joke. I should fix my red flag detector.


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