# Why did I end up in St.Petersburg?



## merlin (Mar 20, 2015)

Well I am writing this sat at my laptop in St.Petersburg and thinking back over my life and how all the interlinked events led me here. 

This was all prompted by Josia 


Josiah said:


> Hi Terry, I trust you will share with us sometime the circumstances and motivations which led to your being in St. Petersburg. An interesting and historic city I know, but not a typical retirement location for a Brit.


So if I bore you to tears you know who to blame 

Its a long story but I will start at the beginning as it does all seem to have a bearing on why I had several mid-life and later crisis and ended up here.

I was born in Worcester UK in June 1941 and remember climbing out of my cot and falling to the floor clasping a bedside lamp, which was my first crisis. I do remember bits of WWII, and VE day with crowds of people cheering and dancing in the streets, and illuminated boats on the river.

My father had a big influence on my life as of course most fathers do, for better or worse. He was a jack of all trades and could fix anything. He taught me how to build short wave radios from scratch, winding the coils and fitting valve/tube holders etc. I have also inherited all his other DIY skills. I was brought up in a corner shop and largely granny reared as my father was in France during the war, and my mother ran the shop.



Me with my mother.



Me on the left with my mother and brother, and our Morris 8 

A funny though in retrospect an alarming story concerning the shop and DIY, we had gas lighting everywhere, even in the garden sheds, (the previous owner worked for the gas board) and a cooker etc. Some of the pipes which were all old lead ones, ran under the shop floor, and periodically sprang a small leak, and you could smell the gas. As I was small enough I was sent under the floor to find the leak by running a lighted candle along the pipe, and finding the leak as a tiny flame, I then hammered the pipe to seal it.

We also did strange things with the electrical wiring,  as a result I have tackled many gas fitting and boiler repair jobs and rewired houses with confidence, so it was an education of sorts. My father was self taught in all of his occupations, and I followed that pattern.

I will away and have a vodka now which I drink here as its only $2 a bottle so irresistible nthego:


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## Josiah (Mar 20, 2015)

Looking forward to chapter 2. So these were solid lead pipes, I guess they'ed have to be in order to be soft enough to be repairable by hammering?


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## Temperance (Mar 20, 2015)

Interesting.  Can't wait to read the next chapter.


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## Ameriscot (Mar 20, 2015)

Interesting, Merlin.


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## merlin (Mar 20, 2015)

Josiah said:


> Looking forward to chapter 2. So these were solid lead pipes, I guess they'ed have to be in order to be soft enough to be repairable by hammering?




Yes Josiah solid lead like this  probably worth a fortune in scrap these days, there was lots of it buried in the garden we found later!

Terry


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## merlin (Mar 20, 2015)

It's a beautiful dawn here with clear blue skies, but woke up with a cold, so not sure what to do with the day, don't even feel like posting much


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## Ameriscot (Mar 21, 2015)

Hope you feel better.


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## merlin (Mar 21, 2015)

Thanks Annie a couple of paracetamols later and I feel a lot better, I may venture out later, as the day warms up. I usually shake off colds pretty quickly!

Terry


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## Josiah (Mar 21, 2015)

Sorry to be so preoccupied by your lead pipes, but beside gas were lead pipes commonly used for water?


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## merlin (Mar 21, 2015)

Josiah said:


> Sorry to be so preoccupied by your lead pipes, but beside gas were lead pipes commonly used for water?



Don't be sorry Josiah, its a long time since anyone showed interest in my lead pipes; and yes they are still very much used for water in houses built during the Victorian period, and the early 20th century, I would go as far as saying the majority of Victorian houses still have lead water pipes somewhere in their system. 

Because of copper prices, we use plastic for the majority of new/replacement water pipes, and central heating systems. Personally I still use copper, I don't trust plastic for such important parts of a house infrastructure, probably showing my age there .


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## merlin (Mar 22, 2015)

*Part 2*

Well going on from where I left off, I went through the school system, getting good marks in the sciences and maths, and after attending a technical college, left at 18, and found a job with a local company as a TV engineer.

I was offered a place in a university but despite my parents and the college principals advice, I felt I needed to get out into as I saw it at the time, the real world.

I trained for 6 years as a radio/television/video engineer, and in 1967 I got married set up a business with a friend, as a television repair service, and subsequently moved into a house in the country with 2 acres of land, and lived the good life. We had a herd of goats, a pig, ducks and chickens. 

I worked from a building in the garden and milked goats twice a day. My two daughters grew up there and we had a happy family life.



The house


The business with goat


Me at work

This idyllic life went on until the mid 80's when I got bored with life and had a mid-life crisis, and found myself one Sunday morning wandering on a local station platform in Malvern. Its a lovely old victorian gothic building, and though still a working station, most of the building was empty. 

I decided for some unknown reason to inquire about opening a tearoom there, so wrote to the local British Rail manager, who by sheer coincidence had been given a remit to find a use for empty station buildings. 

To cut a long story short, I was give a room at the station for a peppercorn rent in just 6 weeks from writing the letter. This for a nationalised company was nothing short of a miracle, though I later learned that the manager had broken many rules 

The business prospered and I eventually took over most of the empty building, opening a vegetarian restaurant as well, called "Brief Encounter" after the film.


View attachment 16257
Great Malvern Station


Exterior front

After a few years of running all this I had another mid-life crisis, involving a couple of affairs, and left the business and moved to Wiltshire in the south west of England

.........................to be continued


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## Josiah (Mar 22, 2015)

Mid life crises have a way of energizing one's life and so do affairs. On the whole though it sounds like you played by the rules and invested a whole lot of energy in your endeavors. I hope you got compensated for the successful businesses you walked away from.


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## SeaBreeze (Mar 22, 2015)

Very interesting Merlin, and I love your photos too, thanks so much for sharing.


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## Temperance (Mar 23, 2015)

Lovely photos Merlin, and quite an adventure.  Thank you for sharing all of this.


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## merlin (Apr 12, 2015)

-

continuing .......................I ran away to Wiltshire with a woman I met while studying Shiatsu and Chinese medicine in Bath, she had a business importing fabrics and jewellery from India, so I accompanied her on several trips spending a month at a time staying with Indian families. 

After I completed my training in Shiatsu I went on to train in holistic massage, and we opened a health food shop and therapy centre in a small town in Wiltshire. I then went on to train for 3 years in psychotherapy and worked as a therapist for several years until I effectively burnt out with the workload. 
During this period my wife who was living with an another man died of cancer, and a lot of sadness and guilt was associated with this.

In 2002 my eldest daughter Caroline suffered the trauma of her 5 year old daughter dying in a drowning accident. On hearing this I returned to Worcester and my daughter and I bought a house together and we have lived here since. She has gone on to have 2 more children and works as a psychiatric nurse. 

In 2003 I was browsing various dating sites and while on a new one called "Make Friends Online" I received out of the blue an email from a Russian woman called Lisa, this was initially a shock because I didn't realise it had members outside the UK.

To cut a long story short I eventually visited Lisa in Russia and we have been together ever since. Lisa has a daughter in the UK married to a Canadian and three grandchildren. I visit Russia several times a year and Lisa comes here a couple of times, so we get to be with each other some time during most months of the year. We also travel together 3 or 4 times a year. 
We are travelling as much as possible, before age and health put a stop to it.  ld:


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## Josiah (Apr 12, 2015)

That's enough adventure for three men. Do you practice your healing arts in Russia, a country not noted for healthy life styles?


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## merlin (Apr 12, 2015)

Josiah said:


> That's enough adventure for three men. Do you practice your healing arts in Russia, a country not noted for healthy life styles?



Not really Josiah, apart from Lisa and in the UK with my friends and family. The lifestyle of the Russian people isn't too bad, there is very little obesity and they walk a lot. Their downfall in health terms, especially the men is of course alcohol. You see a lot of women in their 80s and 90s, but few men. When going to a concert 90% of the audience will be mainly older women, their husbands having long since passed away.


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## Josiah (Apr 12, 2015)

Sounds like Lisa did pretty well for herself. In what language do you converse with her?


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## merlin (Apr 12, 2015)

Josiah said:


> Sounds like Lisa did pretty well for herself. In what language do you converse with her?



The only language I know English, she is a professor of linguistics at St.Petersburg university, so her English is actually better than mine 

Over the years I have learnt five words in Russian, so that gives you an idea of my language abilities. Most Russians don't speak English, but I get by with sign language when not with Lisa while shopping etc. Its quite a shock for an Englishman to be in a country where no English is spoken, as we rely so heavily on English being a universal/second language. (American English really )


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## Ameriscot (Apr 12, 2015)

Interesting life, Merlin!


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## merlin (Apr 12, 2015)

Ameriscot said:


> Interesting life, Merlin!



Yes I feel I have led a charmed life in many ways, and though there have been periods of pain in it, I have somehow always moved in to a better space. Each decade has got better and this one is the best so far, though I am aware as someone mentioned here on the forum, your body can start to let you down when you reach your 70's.


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