# Ideal for me



## hypochondriac (Jun 27, 2019)

Ah this is the blog section. Excellent. Writing helps me think. And thinking helps me write. I will spend some time here for sure. This is where I get to clean out the cobwebs in my mind. Like the young Bureaucrat Boss I have at the moment. She likes rules and regulations so much and wont hesitate to remind you of them if you forget any. She will turn any basic task into a complex paperchasing, form filling, text taking photo imaging nightmare. I think she likes to rule a reign of terror. but then could be all my imagination eh...


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## Seeker (Jun 27, 2019)

> Ah this is the blog section. Excellent. Writing helps me think. And thinking helps me write.



Let er flow....I can relate to that statement.


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## Lara (Jun 28, 2019)

Don't like that young bureaucrat boss?? No problem. 
Maybe it's time to strike out on your own...self employment. You don't need the stress.
Maybe a consulting business? Be your own boss. Make your own hours. Maybe retire.
Loosen that tie, pick up your guitar, play a little music. Oh, and WELCOME to the Forum :rose::wave:


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## hypochondriac (Jun 28, 2019)

I pick up my guitar every day. Im not suited to being a businessman. I like being my own boss but...... excuses ive made a few but then again too many to mention. I shouldve done it God's way!!


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## hypochondriac (Jun 28, 2019)

I need to work on the quality of my posts. So people will get a good impression of me. This guy is smart eh. Look at the books he reads and man what a mystic! He must be the closest person to God on the forum. Maybe I should have called my self prophet. I like the outsider role and Im getting used to being unpopular so I do have some experience for the role.


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## Lara (Jun 28, 2019)

:lofl:


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## hypochondriac (Jun 28, 2019)

My head is clear. 
My problems have shrunk
I have less fear
Im not such a punk


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## Shalimar (Jun 28, 2019)

That’s what happens when we clear out mental junk.


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## AZ Jim (Jun 28, 2019)

Takes time to fit in....


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## hypochondriac (Jun 28, 2019)

AZ Jim said:


> Takes time to fit in....



sorry to read about your loss


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## AZ Jim (Jun 28, 2019)

hypochondriac said:


> sorry to read about your loss



Thank you.  Enjoy the forum and welcome.


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## Lara (Jun 29, 2019)

hypochondriac said:


> My head is clear.
> My problems have shrunk
> I have less fear
> Im not such a punk


Brain Fog

My head is clear.
I don't drink beer
But when OD'd on sugar
I can't even rhyme 

`


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## terry123 (Jun 29, 2019)

Welcome from Houston!!


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## hypochondriac (Jun 29, 2019)

*We are all dying*

Just some sooner than others.  Take me sooner Lord. Ive had enough. 
Whats that? You dont like euthanasia? 
But im ready to go. I want to go home. My real home is with you isnt it? 
ive had a good life. Thanks for that. Whats that? You want me to get off my butt and support others? You have a few more tasks for me to complete? You are sick of my self pity? You think my humour sucks?
No pain no gain? More like no pain no self pity. im sick of self pity too you know. 
Im off to Church soon with all the other hypocrites. You mind if I skip this Sunday? I just go through the motions anyway.
Im tired of all this God is a mystery business. Just tell me the bad news first. Maybe I can handle it.
Hell cant be that bad can it?
At least its cosy in Winter.


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## Ruthanne (Jun 29, 2019)

I do relate to much of what you have said.  I wish I could go.  I'm tired of so much and so little.  But I think of my little pets and how they need me..they keep me going.  Do you have a pet?


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## hypochondriac (Jun 29, 2019)

yes i do. sorry for my downer threads. 
have a whiskey on me!


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## hypochondriac (Jun 29, 2019)

yes i have sweet little dog. i wont leave this earth before him.
Have a scotch whiskey on the rocks on me Ruth.


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## hypochondriac (Jun 30, 2019)

what timing! i sign up to this forum to see it change to a more high tech version.


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## hypochondriac (Jun 30, 2019)

Im not proud of my narcissism. There is some good in me and it needs to come out more often. But ive become obsessed about the thoughts that obsesss me.
Im weird i know. But i care less every day. I need that compass we call the God of Israel. If we get that right everything else falls in to place .
This is so important. Most of us get distracted and allow other concerns to take top priority. 
Fidelity. Women are better than men usually. But Im talking about spiritual fidelity.  Put Jesus Christ numero uno. Now I sound like an evangelist. But the one I want to convince most of all is myself.


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## hypochondriac (Jun 30, 2019)

Dont mean to be rude
But Im a serious dude
I used to be funny
I used to have money

I faked  as a  winner
More a proud sinner
I used to be thinner

God is my employer
Im lucky to have a job
I failed the last performance review
He said 
"Dont read the gospels!
Live them!"


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## hypochondriac (Jul 1, 2019)

I will become famous for my insights or my incites? That is the question.


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## Ruthanne (Jul 1, 2019)

hypochondriac said:


> I pick up my guitar every day. Im not suited to being a businessman. I like being my own boss but...... excuses ive made a few but then again too many to mention. I shouldve done it God's way!!


I have a guitar.  I need to pick it up, too.  It sits in its case all lonely!


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## hypochondriac (Jul 1, 2019)

Ruthanne said:


> I have a guitar.  I need to pick it up, too.  It sits in its case all lonely!


Guitars love to be tuned and played regularly. Playing is like showing affection to them.


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## hypochondriac (Jul 3, 2019)




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## hypochondriac (Jul 3, 2019)




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## hypochondriac (Jul 3, 2019)




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## hypochondriac (Jul 3, 2019)




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## hypochondriac (Jul 3, 2019)




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## hypochondriac (Jul 3, 2019)




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## hypochondriac (Jul 3, 2019)

aged care food


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## hypochondriac (Jul 3, 2019)




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## hypochondriac (Jul 6, 2019)

Fitness is a priority today. Cycle maybe slash walk slash swim slash clean up slash slash.


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## hypochondriac (Jul 7, 2019)

my life has been truly blessed. no serious sickness. no failed marriage or business. happy childhood. god reliable friends 
its the story you tell yourself that matters. not what actually happened.
better to err on the side of gratitude than focus on the times you were treated badly.
because all of us can drag something negative from the past and blow it up. conflate others sins and minimise our own. So your story becomes an awful narrative with you as the tragic main character.
im lucky not to have gotten lung cancer by now. 20 years of single minded smoking. 
I live in probably the best country in the world. A country that some can only dream of migrating to. The poor here have a better deal than a 3rd world country middle class. That might sound lacking in compassion. Yeah i might need some compassion one day. sorry about that.


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## hypochondriac (Jul 7, 2019)

things are getting tough economically here in Australia. our city has almost 17 % youth unemployment. very high. 
govt. is trying to stimulate economy by lowering taxes. leys see what hapens.


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## hypochondriac (Jul 8, 2019)

Shin splints are giving me hell. I need to go back to physio. I walked over 3 hours yesterday and paying for it today. Ice. massage. Still not healed. maybe those needles (dry needling ) at physio work. I will try.


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## hypochondriac (Jul 8, 2019)

this is your week off work. plan?
physio
interesting dog walks
interesting drives
see special gp re back pain make a reservation
read those books man
you are going ok, just breathe deep, suck it in.


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## hypochondriac (Jul 9, 2019)

id love to be able to write a series like The Office. ricky gevais.
my 4 years work as a night shift care worker in a psychiatric hostel would be the basis .
not so much focussed on a dysfunctional boss but a dysfunctional system.
there would be politics in it of course. office politics. but also a reflection of broader political views.
it would make fun of some more radical left wing world views. i think the future of humour  will be  broader  parodies of all political views. not just right wing nutters. the problem will be that left will complain that such parodies are hate speech towards them.


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## hypochondriac (Jul 9, 2019)

areas that are ripe for comedy
- save the shark not the swimmer
-giving vague descriptions to police when they want detailed ones
-performance review meetings of  nightshift workers who are doing nothing all night
-residents manipulating care workers
-abusive residents abusing care workers on their first day on the job
-totalitarian talkaholics
--directives from bosses telling care workets they


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## hypochondriac (Jul 10, 2019)

will this become my trench? my home base? where I can return for sanity and healing?


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## RadishRose (Jul 10, 2019)

hypochondriac said:


> View attachment 71710
> aged care food


The only green thing I could find is a tiny floret of broccoli. Oh, and an apple!


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## RadishRose (Jul 10, 2019)

hypochondriac said:


> areas that are ripe for comedy
> - save the shark not the swimmer
> -giving vague descriptions to police when they want detailed ones
> -performance review meetings of  nightshift workers who are doing nothing all night
> ...


Just my opinion, but all except for the first could make good comedy skits depending on the actor. The last one I didn't understand. Good ideas.


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## norman (Jul 10, 2019)

Lara said:


> Brain Fog
> 
> My head is clear.
> I don't drink beer
> ...


My head is clear
I drink lots of beer
But, only in the garage
When my wife is near


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## hypochondriac (Jul 10, 2019)

RadishRose said:


> Just my opinion, but all except for the first could make good comedy skits depending on the actor. The last one I didn't understand. Good ideas.


yeah the first one is a touchy subject. political I mean. Sharks get a lot more empathy than they used to. Even if they bite the odd surfer's leg off. Its their territory after all. we are swimming in their space.


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## drifter (Jul 12, 2019)

Every man to his own cup of tea. Guess I'm sipping but not sure what.


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## hypochondriac (Jul 13, 2019)

Chesterton says atheists tend to believe in themselves instead of God. He kind of makes fun of their arrogance and suggests that  many who "believe in themselves" end up with mental health issues. That is kind of going too far I guess but still.


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## hypochondriac (Jul 14, 2019)

A Christian needs an imagination. yeah that is just leaving us wide open for ridicule. But as Chesterton says, the Enlightenment placed too much important on logic, scientific thinking intellectualism. Happy is the poet. Happy is the artist. Too much left brain will make you miserable anyway. Ive always been better at daydreaming than focussing on a task. Does that make me more eligible for Christianity?


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## drifter (Jul 15, 2019)

hypochondriac said:


> View attachment 71711


I'll take the little mutt, you keep the big one. You both can visit.


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## drifter (Jul 15, 2019)

I've never thought of myself as going so far as to declare myself an atheist, perhaps a step or two back from that sometime but whatever I is, whenever I bite the dust and if that's not the end of all things, then when the roll is called up yonder, I'll be there. Might even say, 'welcome aboard; been expecting you.'

You on the east coast, the west coast, or down south? Been reading  about the facility out from Alice Springs.


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## hypochondriac (Jul 15, 2019)

drifter said:


> I've never thought of myself as going so far as to declare myself an atheist, perhaps a step or two back from that sometime but whatever I is, whenever I bite the dust and if that's not the end of all things, then when the roll is called up yonder, I'll be there. Might even say, 'welcome aboard; been expecting you.'
> 
> You on the east coast, the west coast, or down south? Been reading  about the facility out from Alice Springs.


im on the west coast. Perth. My siblings all live on the east coast. I grew up in nsw.


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## drifter (Jul 15, 2019)

I have a cyber-friends in Perth and friends in Adelaide, and Melbourne, Brisbane, and the Gold Coast, and outside Goolagong. Have known and communicated with them since 2007; one since 2003. Good people, And,


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## drifter (Jul 15, 2019)

Of course, I didn't say so but while not an expert on the downunder, I did see Crocodile
Dundee, which practically makes most viewers knowledgeable about something. By the way, welcome to the forum.


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## hypochondriac (Jul 15, 2019)

drifter said:


> I have a cyber-friends in Perth and friends in Adelaide, and Melbourne, Brisbane, and the Gold Coast, and outside Goolagong. Have known and communicated with them since 2007; one since 2003. Good people, And,


Well I might be a weirdo loner by comparison to them. don't expect too much


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## hypochondriac (Jul 16, 2019)

Im obsessing now. About something at work that is not even worth reporting here. I think because my adrenalin is going, so is my mind.
The problem being I might make this problem worse if I over react tomorrow.
Stay cool Hypo. Long deeeep breath. Iiiiin   Ooooooouuut. That's it.
You will stay calm. If you cant add something positive to the conversation, say nothing. Not worth losing your job over it.
And you are a good worker. Whatever she says, she cant paint you as a slacker. because you are careful and you do care. and you are competent. Just don't turn it into a dogfight.


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## drifter (Jul 16, 2019)

The situation that is played out in our minds is often far worse than the actual
confrontation we were contemplating. Not always, but I think we do tend to 
over worry.


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## hypochondriac (Jul 17, 2019)

well big drama.
big showdown with boss.
im losing big time.
no work next two days.


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## hypochondriac (Jul 17, 2019)

New boss doesn't like the way I clean. The faults she finds in my cleaning may very well be valid but why didn't my previous boss pick them up? I had the previous boss for 3 years.The previous boss held my in high esteem as a good cleaner. Now Im suddenly a crap cleaner? its hard not to think this isn't personal. Maybe I should be more a sycophant. Sorry im too old for sycophancy.


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## hypochondriac (Jul 17, 2019)

Mental Health deteriorating. God, if I ever needed you I need you now. I need stability asap. But my mind and emotions are playing tricks. I feel panicked. Im not blaming anyone but myself. Just wish I didn't have to blame myself again either. Yet part of me refuses to accept any blame for this. I remain too stubborn perhaps? Is it ego? How do I remedy this asap? My mind and thoughts are racing. I cant sleep. I don't want this to be a downward spiral. Maybe its time to get some real faith. instead of the fake kind. Maybe its time to finally grow up after all these years of running away. Its like watching a movie with a hopeless main character, and you just cant watch him fail anymore.


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## hypochondriac (Jul 17, 2019)

Has anyone gone to one of those Born Again Christian meetings and faked their renewal? That must have happened surely. Part of me might get some pleasure from doing that. How strange is my thinking and feeling today. 
I feel alien to myself today. perverse. Uncentred. 
I took 6 decades to get to this point. Why couldn't I get all this immaturity out of the road in my teens. All the angst out of my system. 
Some people might get annoyed at me writing like this. I just find it is better to write it out, until it slowly heals. But healing feels a long way away now.


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## drifter (Jul 17, 2019)

I'm not an expert on anything and I really can't offer any advice about even my own mental condition and certainly no one else's. I am rich in good and bad experience. I've been the most low on the pole underling and I've been the boss. Sometime a boss wants to bring in his/her own people and will ride an existing employee holping they might quit. Sometime they go ahead and fire an employee, because of personality conflicts, in which case the fired or laid off employee must find another job. Some things we can not control. Apparently you'll soon find out. Either way it is not the end of the world. Whatever happens we have to keep on keeping on. Sometime it turns out for the better.


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## hypochondriac (Jul 17, 2019)

nice one drifter. you found the right words.


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## Olivia (Jul 17, 2019)

hypochondriac said:


> I Maybe its time to finally grow up after all these years of running away. Its like watching a movie with a hopeless main character, and you just cant watch him fail anymore.



Maybe that running man isn't a hopeless character. Maybe he's been running in a direction he's been stopping himself to actually get to. Sometimes opportunities look like misfortunes when misfortunes can be the life inside you pushing you to take that plunge off the wing of the plane. 

Some time ago there was a book  (and updated annually) titled "What is the color of your parachute." Maybe it's time to give yourself more credit than you have been doing so far.


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## hypochondriac (Jul 17, 2019)

You mean some people are reading my maudlin diary entries? Ok I need to thank you for that Olivia. it was a thoughtful comment.


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## hypochondriac (Jul 17, 2019)

Winning. Winning or triumphing in debate or even a court case is not quite the ecstatic feeling one had imagined. I say this only from brief experiences of winning in life. winning wears off. it doesnt last.
becoming rich is good for a while. but the joy doesnt last either. being rich just distracts us for a while. and we can becime children again and buy new toys.
Learning to be happy in life with or without success is the key.
im too attached to creature comforts is my problem. I would go downhill fast if homeless.


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## hypochondriac (Jul 17, 2019)

Old fashioned Catholicism. Devotion to Mary. The rosary.
It became tired an cliched for me but i respect people who love it. For them they get into the whole mystery and holiness of it.
We more liberal minded catholics are sometimes made to feel like heretics though.
There is especially a lot of politicking of Catholicism in America. conservatives/Traditionalists versus progressive/liberals. Some of the liberal ones disappoint me as much as the dogmatic right wingers.
They satirise and poke fun at conservatives for being too lifeless. Yet are they necessarily on the "true" path. I dont think so. they might be guilty of diluting their faith to fit in more comfortably with the atheistic minset that is prevalent these days.


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## hypochondriac (Jul 18, 2019)

this guy is one of my benchmarks


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## hypochondriac (Jul 18, 2019)

and the same guy is my new hero


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## hypochondriac (Jul 18, 2019)

making good decisions
sometimes we are torn. torn between two desires/responsibilities 
example
in a workplace. just started a new job.
in the second week you get called for jury duty. you dont want to lose your job but at the same time this opportunity of a unique life experience rarely comes up. my boss said no anyway. so i caved in to toeing the line to keep my job.
how often do we choose the softer option of toeing the line? 
you have to know when to stand your ground and when to cave in. often its a tough call. from experience i know that caving in all the time affects your self esteem. by the same token, standing your ground and demanding your rights all the time might be considered
selfish and even unwise. i just wish life didnt require so much wisdom!


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## hypochondriac (Jul 19, 2019)

If i were to teach again I would be more likely to indoctrinate than teach.
And get fired for it. Because my views now are probably obsolete. Id be going against the grain. Im not politically correct enough to survive in many worplaces either.


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## hypochondriac (Jul 19, 2019)

who is suffering right now?
maybe we dont know what really awful suffering is like.
but that doesnt make us feel any better.
our degree of suffering
even a lot of our suffering is imagined or made worse by our anxious minds.
is it better to focus on others suffering rather than our own?
i guess so. it distracts us at least.


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## hypochondriac (Jul 21, 2019)

i try to write unfiltered. Fact is I am a Jesus freak. And a Christian freak and a Catholic freak. Add to that my politics being conservative and would turn off a huge majority of the world population.
But why should I be ashamed of that?
im not. Im proud of it. But pride is the root of all evil. So better I  not be too proud.
Pride causes wars. But if we have no pride, people walk all over us. Pride is a tricky one. We just need to stand our ground and learn to fight fair.


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## hypochondriac (Jul 27, 2019)

And currently a Jesuit Freak. James Martin has got me into this. He really has promoted them. 
They are fascinating. So practical and the spirituality is like free therapy. Got sime fresh perspectuves and hidden gems 
Now if I could rewrite my personal history i would at least do one of their month long retreats. Visit America and Spain. Get to know some Jesuits .
Im discovering this stuff now. Is it too late?


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## hypochondriac (Jul 29, 2019)

My back is good this morning. i hope its good this afternoon. How can I optmistically look for another job with this back pain? 
Pain makes you self centred. But it makes you more understanding of others pain too.
if we never suffer we never know how others who suffer feel. Is it better that none of us suffer? Does suffering have a purpose? Suffering does seem unnecessary sometimes.


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## hypochondriac (Jul 30, 2019)

That injection didn't work. what a shame. oh well. back to the gp. life goes on. pain goes on. but only at work at least.
and talk about work. man. reading the latest meltdown from the boss. it gets predictable after a while. it just causes morale to sink further down. admittedly though some of her meltdowns are justified.


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## Judycat (Jul 30, 2019)

When I was younger the boss was always yelling at someone. I used to tell people I'm going to have her job. They of course went to her and told her what I said. She started yelling at me more. I'd turn to the person next to me and say, see, I'm going to have her job. She's really worried now. When I finally quit, she went out and bought me a farewell card. She said a lot of nice things to me in it. I was quite surprised.


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## hypochondriac (Aug 4, 2019)

If God isnt our compass we are screwed. But some of us have an instinctive rather than intellectual faith. Like the humble farmer who lives in nature every day. Or the smiling Dalai Lama. This kind of spanner in the works throws the theologians in a spin. Theologians can be overrated of course.


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## hypochondriac (Aug 9, 2019)

1984
what a book
Ministry for Love
War is Peace and Peace is War.
Slavery is Freedom
Big Brother. The fear of total scrutiny.
Might some Christians have an image of God like this? A ruthless pursuer of sinners. " im watching you .......so loook out!!


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## Lara (Aug 10, 2019)

hypochondriac said:


> ...Might Christans have an image of God like this? A ruthless pursuer of sinners. "



Page 4 and I'm just now finding this thread which is jam packed with conversational inspiration. Starting here...
Scripture shows us that God isn't a ruthless pursuer of sinners at all. Rather, God is waiting for the sinners with love and patience to come to their own conclusion that they are indeed in need of a savior. Then he waits for them to "knock, and the door shall be opened unto them." as he promises with complete forgiveness. Afterall, God created them with the ability to make their own choices.


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## hypochondriac (Aug 10, 2019)

Lara said:


> Page 4 and I'm just now finding this thread which is jam packed with conversational inspiration. Starting here...
> Scripture shows us that God isn't a ruthless pursuer of sinners at all. Rather, God is waiting for the sinners with love and patience to come to their own conclusion that they are indeed in need of a savior. Then he waits for them to "knock, and the door shall be opened unto them." as he promises with complete forgiveness. Afterall, God created them with the ability to make their own choices.


I like your image of God. I read something recently where this guys idea of entering Heaven was us walking towards towards the Father , His arms open wide waiting for us. Like the Father in the Prodigal Son.
Thats the image I will hold on to.


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## hypochondriac (Aug 10, 2019)

re how we imagine God:
the movie Oh God
with George Burns
I really  like the idea of God having that kind of comic personality.
we can take some stereotypical images of God too seriously.
this is not only fresh but well thought out.
I wish i could write a movie like that.
who could play God now? George Clooney?   im joking.  no way


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## Lara (Aug 10, 2019)

God certainly perceives, enjoys, and expresses humor because He made man in his own image. There are examples of His humor in the Bible but His humor has meaning and value. Many people in the world think being crude is funny and they think humor at the expense of others is funny. But that kind of humor would not find favor with God. His humor is more focused on whats good and pure.

If I remember correctly, the humor in the movie Oh God was all good fun-loving humor.


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## hypochondriac (Aug 10, 2019)

oh i think the humour was un good taste for sure. the movie ridicules some hypocritical emotional "healing" type pastors though.


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## Lara (Aug 10, 2019)

That's understandable. "Beware of false prophets" and "Beware of wolves in sheeps clothing" it says in the Bible so the movie script was right on...if in fact that was the case.


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## hypochondriac (Aug 10, 2019)

Loving God.
How do we love God?
By loving other people.
theres the challenge.
I used to think I could love God by just loving Him. Its easy to love perfection.
But God wants us to love imperfection as well.


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## hypochondriac (Aug 10, 2019)

hey lara
i think we are destined to disagree, maybe even fall out over our different Christian views. I had a very consevative Christian view but recently i am becoming more "liberal". i bet you hate that word.


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## Lara (Aug 10, 2019)

Yes! Loving the lovable is easy. But loving the unlovable will reward you. 
Matthew 5:46 "For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same?"


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## Lara (Aug 10, 2019)

We haven't disagreed yet. Not that I recall. I can't comment on "liberal"


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## hypochondriac (Aug 10, 2019)

Loving my boss.
Now theres a challenge.
She has a different world view of what constitutes "good leadership". 
Keep us on our toes all the time. Constantly  find petty faults in our work so she always has the edge. So we never forget who is boss 
I exaggerate of course but it feels more like terrorism. Petty dictatorship. Very negative. Not one ounce of praise for our efforts yet. 
There ive had my vent. 
I need to learn more tolerance. Her job is much tougher than mine. Huge responsibility. She is very dilligent. 
Shes a child of God. Why does that sound like fake empathy?


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## Lara (Aug 11, 2019)

hypochondriac said:


> hey lara
> i think we are destined to disagree, maybe even fall out over our different Christian views. I had a very consevative Christian view but recently i am becoming more "liberal". i bet you hate that word.


Ok, bring it on. Fireworks can be fun. What are your recent more liberal Christian views? I don't have a "falling out" with anyone over differences of opinion because I respect freedom to choose what to believe. But if we grew to have nothing in common then I would only lose interest perhaps.


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## hypochondriac (Aug 11, 2019)

Lara said:


> Ok, bring it on. Fireworks can be fun. What are your recent more liberal Christian views?


Bring it on?
Thats fighting words and a fight is not what I want. 
My Catholicism alone is enough to wind some other denoms up.
Personally i try to take an ecumenical approach. my brother is Pentecostal but we get on pretty well.


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## Lara (Aug 11, 2019)

There's no fighting spirit inside my soul...not the bad kind...only sincere interest. My spirit is full of a whole lotta' love 

But I agree with you regarding picking apart varying denominations of Christianity. I don't like to go there especially because I feel the differences in how people worship are not as important compared to believing the basic doctrine of Christianity, such as John 3:16.

I'm not Pentecostal nor Ecumenical. I'm just a Bible believer.


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## hypochondriac (Aug 11, 2019)

John s probably my fave gospel. Most poetic.
Over the last few years ive started attending Bible Study. i didnt have much of a clue of scripture but have markedly improved. Im doing Jeff Cavins Bible Study course. Done mostly OT. Fave book is maybe Exodus but also Job. Jeremiah my dsve prophet. Ive got a long way to go. Learning is a never ending story. That why I think retirement should never be the end of our learning curve.


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## hypochondriac (Aug 11, 2019)

Im on Book of Macabees now.
the level  violence is shocking...


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## hypochondriac (Aug 11, 2019)

My prayer life needs to improve. i can get carried away with just the intellectual pursuit of scripture knowedge or insights from theologians. Also I dont actively help out at Church or assist the poor. My father was the opposite. Very active helping the poor but not interested in the intellectual side. 
I think if you just focus on intellectual Christianity you become no better than the Scribes and Pharisees who tested Jesus but were actually hypocrites.


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## Lara (Aug 11, 2019)

The Bible says, "study to show thyself approved unto God, rightly dividing the truth". My fave is the NT starting with John as well. I like the way the NT tells us how a Christian should act and focuses on love and hope with a simple way to forgiveness for all.

The OT is important but it's more difficult for me as I struggle with understanding the truth while taking into account the differences of Biblical times vs Today like MosaicLaw no for today and Slavery.

Today's slavery should all be abolished but Slavery back then is interesting. People were not enslaved because of their nationality or the color of their skin. In Bible times, slavery was based more on economics; it was a matter of social status. People sold themselves as slaves when they could not pay their debts or provide for their families. In New Testament times, sometimes doctors, lawyers, and even politicians were slaves of someone else. Some people actually chose to be slaves so as to have all their needs provided for by their masters.


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## Lara (Aug 11, 2019)

I never heard of the Book of Macabees?? Its not in my Bible. I use the King James version and sometimes cross-reference other versions in seeking truth and clarity. I don't use commentaries or read what theologians say. It's just between me and God's Word for the most part. I sometimes pray before reading my Bible and ask God the Holy Spirit to reveal the truth to me as I read. I like it to be a personal relationship. But as a last resort, if I'm confused, I will study further and seek trusted advice.


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## hypochondriac (Aug 11, 2019)

i think you are right about personal relationship with God being our Number 1 focus. Absolutely.
Yeah slavery was part of their culture in ancient times. we cant really judge them.
yeah Macabees is part of the Cathilic Bible. 
i read commentaries of bible in order to understand better.


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## Lara (Aug 11, 2019)

My prayer life needs to improve as well...as in more often and more inclusive all prayer needs. I should keep lists as there are so many needs of friends, family, our country, our world, etc. But as far as the "prayer language", I just use my everyday language and just converse like I do normally. God wants a comfortable relationship with us like that but of course with sincere respect, praise, honor, and glory.


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## hypochondriac (Aug 11, 2019)

You sound like you are on the right track Lara. It works for you so that is all that matters.


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## drifter (Aug 11, 2019)

Religion. The root of much evil. I'll pass and take my chances


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## hypochondriac (Aug 11, 2019)

Jeffrey Epstein
So does he really " get away with" all that sin?
Surely there is a Judgement Day for him. I dont believe in an "automatic" Hell. Hell only exists until we decide to fess up and own our mistakes. Epstein has to work off his crimes...somehow...is all a mystery of course but ....
as Dostoyevsky said " if there is no accountability for evil then we can do whatever we like. Life is meaningless"


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## hypochondriac (Aug 11, 2019)

yet how does Pol Pot Mao Stalin or Hitler go?
" oops sorry God about all those mass murders. promise it wont happen again"  are some people beyond redemption? answer ? 
i dont know....


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## Lara (Aug 11, 2019)

drifter said:


> Religion. The root of much evil. I'll pass and take my chances


drifter, Sin (tempted by satan) is the root to ALL evil in all religions including Christianity, New Age, Scientology, etc
AND sin is in all atheists, in all agnostics, in all luke-warm "believers", in all spiritists, all who denounce the name of religion but in fact have their own "religion", in those who think they're "pretty good", in me, in you, in everyone.

That's why we all need a Savior in my view...and God's words in the bible. That's my choice and I believe it with every part of my being. And not because I made a random, uneducated, fear-driven, jump-on-the-bandwagon choice. My choice came from study, personal experiences, focus on searching and finding truth, prayerful listening, letting go of all that bound me, accepting the love and forgiveness I was being offered, and more. He shows me specific clear signs that he is with me when I'm listening, trusting, and obeying.

Surely you agree that life is made up of choices...and that very choice we make matters. There is no free pass. If you choose "Chance" or luck then you have chosen that. You have made your choice and must wait to find out at death if it was right or wrong. If wrong, it's too late to change your choice. I'm at peace knowing.


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## hypochondriac (Aug 11, 2019)

Today is the day 
Yeah gonna finally
find out 
........
the meaning of life
.........
then I can 
see how much i get for it
on e bay


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## drifter (Aug 11, 2019)

I would not knock anyone's religion. Faith allows us to believe the Bible's teachings.
Without that faith, logic leads us to believe the end of life is the end of everything.
No purpose to life and as in the animal kingdom, luck and survival is what matters.
No one can say with certainty, I suppose. If life after death should exist, I'd like a little
Cabin down by a stream somewhere with shade trees and a cool breeze once in a while,
With a good library, and a small pot to make an occasional cup of coffee. If I'm not being too picky.


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## Lara (Aug 11, 2019)

hypochondriac said:


> Jeffrey Epstein
> So does he really " get away with" all that sin?
> Surely there is a Judgement Day for him. I dont believe in an "automatic" Hell. Hell only exists until we decide to fess up and own our mistakes. Epstein has to work off his crimes...somehow...is all a mystery of course but ....
> as Dostoyevsky said " if there is no accountability for evil then we can do whatever we like. Life is meaningless"





hypochondriac said:


> yet how does Pol Pot Mao Stalin or Hitler go?
> " oops sorry God about all those mass murders. promise it wont happen again"  are some people beyond redemption? answer ?
> i dont know....


Epstein will not "get away with all that sin". We don't know if he chose to believe in God in his last minutes before his death or not so we don't know his fate in eternity. But either way God will deal with his sins...hint: one way is harsher than the other. No one is beyond redemption until death. Jesus loves the sinner, just not the sin. But the sinner must choose to repent and believe in the free gift of forgiveness during their lifetime in order to receive forgiveness.  I don't believe in an automatic hell either if you're talking about in one's  lifetime while the choice to repent is still on the table.  The only unforgivable sin is rejection of God and Jesus' love and grace all the way until death. Before and after death there is accountability for our sins. Jesus is our intercessor in heaven between us and God because Jesus is the one that made forgiveness possible for  believers. He knows our hearts too. Its got to be real.


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## RadishRose (Aug 11, 2019)

Lara said:


> I never heard of the Book of Macabees?? Its not in my Bible. I use the King James version and sometimes cross-reference other versions in seeking truth and clarity. I don't use commentaries or read what theologians say. It's just between me and God's Word for the most part. I sometimes pray before reading my Bible and ask God the Holy Spirit to reveal the truth to me as I read. I like it to be a personal relationship. But as a last resort, if I'm confused, I will study further and seek trusted advice.


Protestants have eliminated the Book of Macabees when they wrote the KJV. That's why you never heard of it, Lara.


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## drifter (Aug 11, 2019)

I spoke and no one had pulled my chain.

Sorry.


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## Lara (Aug 11, 2019)

Okay drifter, and I hope everyone understands that when I posted above, I wasn't telling anyone what to do. I was just bouncing off other's opinions and answering questions from where I'm at in my life. I respect where everyone is in their own journey.

Thank you Rose for that information. I never heard that before. Interesting because God's Word in the Bible makes it clear not to add nor subtract to the Bible (Deuteronomy 4:2, and 12:32). Also, not to add anything is mentioned in Revelations 22:18. I'll have to study up on that. Thanks!


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## hypochondriac (Aug 11, 2019)

Lara said:


> Thank you Rose for that information. I never heard that before. Interesting because God's Word in the Bible makes it clear not to add nor subtract to the Bible (Deuteronomy 4:2, and 12:32). Also, not to add anything is mentioned in Revelations 22:18. I'll have to study up on that. Thanks!


Here's my opportunity to "debate" differences.   I haven't researched yet but Im not powerfully interested anyway. This kind of theological difference would thrill many posters on a Christian forum. Over 100 post thread. "why macabees should never be in the Bible!" I find this kind of point trivial. And we can lose our sense of humour over what constitutes "the truth". here's my liberal tendencies shining through. there are of course some givens. Some objective truths like the Resurrection. Jesus was fully human. he really did suffer pain on the Cross. these kinds of truths we all agree on,. these truths unite us as Christians. They are the ones we don't have to debate. Out of interest though I might research up on macabees. Just for fun . Its not life threatening.


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## hypochondriac (Aug 11, 2019)

Is suffering an opportunity to get closer to God?  I hope not. I don't like suffering.


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## hypochondriac (Aug 11, 2019)

God approves of the humble virtuous non Christian more than the less humble Christian. That's why we need to be always on the alert. God is in all things, in all people. And he shines through anyone. Some Christians are under the illusion that God only shines through them. They are mistaken. That's why the constant challenge for Christians is go back to square one. We aare ALL sinners. No sinner is better than another sinner. No Christian is better than another Christian nor better than a non-Christian.
God shames the "wise" with the apparent foolish person. I get these feelings that I am incredibly profound and wise sometimes. its rubbish. its all foolish egotism. Back to square one. we are all equal in the sight of God.


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## hypochondriac (Aug 11, 2019)

Ive done a little research on Macabees. One problem for non catholic denoms is the mention of Purgatory in Maccabees 2.  Personally I like the idea of Purgatory, whether it is a reality or not. A chance to work off our sins, get cleaned up before we enter Heaven. makes sense to me. But no doubt that is going to upset some Christians. me even discussing it here.


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## Lara (Aug 11, 2019)

drifter said:


> I spoke and no one had pulled my chain. Sorry.


No problem drifter, just jump in whenever thoughts pop into your head. I enjoyed reading your posts and even responded to your post#99 in my post#102. Your post#104 gave a fun image of your wishes in your afterlife.


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## Lara (Aug 11, 2019)

hypochondriac said:


> Ive done a little research on Macabees. One problem for non catholic denoms is the mention of Purgatory in Maccabees 2.  Personally I like the idea of Purgatory, whether it is a reality or not. A chance to work off our sins, get cleaned up before we enter Heaven. makes sense to me. But no doubt that is going to upset some Christians. me even discussing it here.


I'm learning so I'm feeling the opposite of upset. Whether one believes in Purgatory or not is not going to change the basics of what makes one a Christian. The only thing I see about "working off your sins in a place called purgatory" is that it makes Jesus' purpose on the cross null and void. He made it easy for all to be completely forgiven of all our sins by taking our punishment on the cross. Once he saved us, he would'nt take that gift back and make us pay our own price for our sins and suffer. That would rob us of all the joy he suffered for. All we have to do is admit we're sinners, repent, and believe Jesus is who he said he is. So suffering in purgatory sounds inconsistent with the teachings of the New Testament...forgiveness is free for the asking. Thats probably why the Book of Macabbee was not chosen to be part of my Bible.


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## hypochondriac (Aug 11, 2019)

im not biting Lara. These kinds of debates ive been in so many times. Neither of us can prove whether Purgatory exists or not. I like the idea of being made holy enough for Heaven. It makes a lot of sense to this homeboy Catholic.


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## hypochondriac (Aug 11, 2019)

one of the main reasons im Catholic is because my parents were. I received Gods love from them. That was enough.


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## Lara (Aug 12, 2019)

hypochondriac said:


> im not biting Lara....Neither of us can prove whether Purgatory exists or not. I like the idea of being made holy enough for Heaven. It makes a lot of sense to this homeboy Catholic.


And I'm not fishing nor telling you that purgatory doesn't exist. I've heard of the word purgatory but wasnt aware of what it was even. I learned from your post that purgatory is "A chance to work off our sins, get cleaned up before we enter Heaven" as described in a book of your Bible called Macabbee that doesn't exist in my KJV Bible.

I shared what I know in my Bible, that Jesus' purpose was to do that work of cleaning up our sins for us on the cross so that we don't have to...a gift by just believing it. Purgatory may very well exist for those who don't believe the purpose of Jesus suffering on the cross for our sins. I understand not wanting to debate it any further and I'm on board with that. I don't want to either "handshake"


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## hypochondriac (Aug 18, 2019)

Man! Gas Hot Water System Problems again. Another leak. This time from the base. Steam pouring out. 
we turned the water off. but now we wonder whether we should turn off the gas heater as well. googled but the jury is out. depends on context. our system is 16 years old  time for a new one. only 1000 bucks for a new one. 
we will be up for extra water usage as well.


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## hypochondriac (Aug 18, 2019)

Ive been in debates over faith and works so many times. Actually the Catholic experts say that we fundamentally agree with Protestants on the greater emphasis on faith over works. that works should be a manifestation of our faith.
You know but I need to keep reminding myself that I cant "get back in God's good books" by doing voluntary work for example. It is so easy to make that mistake. " oh I will be well behaved today so God will love me more". Somehow we have to understand that God's love comes with no caveats, no conditions, no disclaimers. "ok hypo now if you are a good virtuous boy for the rest of your life, I will reserve a place for you right next to me in heaven." How childishly we can think to ourselves. This is the hardest thing for any of us to fully accept. God loves us full stop. Despite our sin. When we repent, its not like we regain God's favour. its just that we feel closer to God again. We can "feel" His love again. Sin separates us from God. While we are sinning God still loves us. But He is disappointed that He cant feel our love for Him back. Am I explaining this well? Am I theologically correct? Well of course different Christians will have different viewpoints. I wonder if I could say that sin causes "separation anxiety". Is it so wild to think that God feels anxious when we sin? If we are not anxious when we sin maybe that indicates how caught up in sin we are. Total lack of self-awareness.


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## AZ Jim (Aug 18, 2019)

Taking up a religion because it was my parents or friend or whatever is folly.  One can find God without the spins of any special church.  The path to our Lord is littered with detours that can derail our plan to be closer to God.  Listen to your heart.


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## hypochondriac (Aug 18, 2019)

AZ Jim said:


> Taking up a religion because it was my parents or friend or whatever is folly.  One can find God without the spins of any special church.  The path to our Lord is littered with detours that can derail our plan to be closer to God.  Listen to your heart.


sounds good to me Jim.


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## hypochondriac (Aug 20, 2019)

Here is an answer to the complaint that God ignores suffering on Earth. Made by Stephen Fry a famous atheist. best answer Ive seen for a while

_I believed in what Stephen Fry said. I cheered him. I sent him a message on Twitter agreeing with him.  My own argument with God has been a long one. My anger and despair with Him has lasted years. It was based on the sufferings of my mother and my best friend. My mother has arthritis in her joints and her spine and suffers from horrible pain because of it. My best friend has cerebral palsy and cannot walk or talk or take care of himself. I could find no reason, no justification in either of those things. As human beings we have learned so much and gained so much power to control our lives, our environments and the lives and environments of all other living things on this planet. We believe that we are at the top of the tree in terms of knowledge, intelligence and power.  We're not. We've barely reached the lowest branches of that tree.  It is indeed arrogant of human beings to believe that just because we've learned a little we know everything. It is sad that we believe that science is at odds with faith.  I was arrogant, like Stephen Fry, and I believed that if I couldn't see a reason for suffering then there must be no reason.  Last year I began to pray to God. I don't know exactly why. There was no voice, no flash of light, no vision, no angelic visitation. I just prayed and I felt better. I have had depression for much of my adult life, mostly if not entirely because of the anger and despair I feel in the face of the suffering of the people I love.  That anger and that despair have not helped me in any way.  They have made things worse.  Since my first prayer to God my anger and despair have gone.  Believe me when I say that I am as surprised and shocked by this as anyone could be.  I mean, when I say I was angry with God I mean I was ANGRY. I hated God, despised Him. Loathed Him for not intervening and curing the illnesses and taking away the suffering all around me.  I was, like Stephen Fry, caught up in the arrogance of humanity, the assumption that I had a right to understand everything simply because it suited me to want to know right now.  To disbelieve in God just because He doesn't tell you everything you demand to know is very arrogant and petulant.  Accepting God, having faith in God, well, that is more reassuring, more rewarding and offers more scope for understanding than I'd ever have believed.  To accept God is to accept that we human beings are not the all powerful ultimate beings in existence and that we do not know and understand everything. Faith in God also gives us a reason to keep on striving to learn, to understand, to discover as much as we can about Him and His creation.  Science is so often seen as the opposite of Faith but in reality science and faith have the same goals - the understanding of everything in creation and therefore an understanding of God. Perhaps when science and faith bring us to that point where we can look at creation, look into the eyes of God and say 'Now I understand', then we will have the answers to all the questions we have ever asked. It will be a long journey to get to that point, but a journey that will be so very worth it. Perhaps it is the journey that God wants us to make. _


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## Lara (Aug 20, 2019)

Post122 is nicely penned. Excellent.
There are more than 100 reasons listed in the Bible as to why good people suffer...and why God allows suffering.
So that's a good place to find answers. I've found that when I pray with a question, I often find God's answer in unexpected ways and right in the Bible in black and white, but if I stop opening my Bible he can't show me his answer. You're right that we won't always know all there is to know. Only God is all knowing.


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## hypochondriac (Aug 21, 2019)

No better place than the Book of Job. 
Man will never fully understand Gods plan. Its like an uneducated mutt trying to understand the thinking of an astrophysicist. Dont even insult the astrophycist by trying. You dare to put yourself on the same level as God?


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## hypochondriac (Aug 21, 2019)

Big story here on Cardinal Pell. He loses his appeal.As if the Catholic Church hasnt got a poor public image already.
But this might be the impetus we need for real change 
Gotta have female priests. Gotta present a more compassionate image for gays. Now ultra conservatives will jump on my case for even suggesting that. But thats their problem. The real problem is stubborn conservatism in the Church. Old male clergy look like hypocrites. Its gotta change.


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## hypochondriac (Aug 21, 2019)

Do atheists blame God for not existing?


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## Lara (Aug 21, 2019)

They can't because that's admitting they believe there's a God.


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## hypochondriac (Aug 21, 2019)

Lara said:


> They can't because that's admitting they believe there's a God.


I spend a bit of time on another forum now to be honest. They allow religious debates. Dealing with arrogant atheists is tough. Still , Christians can be arrogant too I admit.


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## Olivia (Aug 21, 2019)

hypochondriac said:


> Do atheists blame God for not existing?



I try not to interfere with diaries, but I just have to comment only ecspecially because you had a comment in return. Tell me, just tell me with proof and evidence, what atheist told you that they blame God for not existing? That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Maybe it was an agonist? That I might I kind of believe. I do understand that's it's okay to talk a about religion here but not to the extent that it should be allowed to diss anyones else's  belief or unbelief. That's my opinion.


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## hypochondriac (Aug 21, 2019)

with all due respect Olivia i would prefer to discuss this with other Christians like Lara. Of course you are free to comment. Just dont be offended if I dont respond to your posts. May i suggest joining a forum which allows debate on such things.


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## RadishRose (Aug 21, 2019)

Hypo, religious discussion is *not* banned here. Only politics.

This forum does allow debate on such things.

Some people, like myself, may not care to, but it is "allowed".

I'm curious as to why you thought it was not.


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## hypochondriac (Aug 21, 2019)

RadishRose said:


> Hypo, religious discussion is *not* banned here. Only politics.
> 
> This forum does allow debate on such things.
> 
> ...


Discussion is different to debate.
i prefer discussion as debate of religion will just fire up division. Like politics does. So even if this forum allows Religious debate im not really keen on it. Because we can start to dehumanize each other.
this forum's strength is not going down that path I would suggest.
having said all that, I would be happy to start some discusdion threads ....possibly...but not on this diary subforum.


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## Olivia (Aug 21, 2019)

hypochondriac said:


> with all due respect Olivia i would prefer to discuss this with other Christians like Lara. Of course you are free to comment. Just dont be offended if I dont respond to your posts. May i suggest joining a forum which allows debate on such things.



What makes you think I am not a Christian?  Oh, because I am not Lara? May I suggest you open up your mind as you suggest I do the same.


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## hypochondriac (Aug 22, 2019)

Four day weekend coming up. Cant complain about that. Its a good deal for all concerned but dog especially.
He will be getting more trips in the car. To more interesting parks.


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## hypochondriac (Aug 22, 2019)

We are encouraged to think of Jesus on the Cross when we suffer. But sometimes people actually suffer more than Jesus Christ did. Long term suffering such as Motor Neurone Disease. So Jesus' suffering is not meant to be some kind of benchmark we must aspire to. It is God showing us that He understands our suffering. He wants to share in our suffering.
And we forget that His suffering was not just physical. He suffered emotionally by watching His mother watch him die. He suffered humiliation when they mocked him and spat on Him.


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## Lara (Aug 22, 2019)

hypochondriac said:


> We are encouraged to think of Jesus Christ when we suffer. But sometimes people actually suffer more than Jesus Christ did. Long term suffering such as Motor Neurone Disease. So Jesus' suffering is not meant to be some kind of benchmark we must aspire to. It is God showing us that He understands our suffering. He wants to share in our suffering.
> And we forget that His suffering was not just physical. He suffered emotionally by watching His mother watch him die. He suffered humiliation when they mocked him and spat on Him.


I mostly agree BUT what is missing are the words "Love" and "Forgiveness". That's what our main focus should be on with regard to Christ's suffering.  How much pain wasn't the point and wasn't being measured. It was God's Love for us that was being measured, for ALL sins and sinners, to be freelyForgiven. That was the measure. The greatest gift ever (our only part is to receive it).

The sins of man were being forgiven by this visual of the cross so Man could more clearly see, understand, know, and never forget God's unconditional love and offer of forgiveness...just for the taking. There's no way we could ever suffer enough to atone for our sins alone, to be worthy enough for eternal life. Sins of man are too great.

Oh! And hey! Enjoy your 4-Day Weekend. Stay safe.


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## hypochondriac (Aug 22, 2019)

Lara said:


> How much pain wasn't the point and wasn't being measured.


thats right. its not a suffering contest.


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## norman (Aug 22, 2019)

hypochondriac said:


> thats right. its not a suffering contest.


Have you read the Theory of Evolution?   Just curious?


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## hypochondriac (Aug 22, 2019)

norman said:


> Have you read the Theory of Evolution?   Just curious?


no I haven't norman. you recommend it? by Charles Darwin?


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## hypochondriac (Aug 22, 2019)

maybe I should do a few Christian themed threads so that everyone can join in freely. Just I treated this diary thread as semi private. oh well. that was my illusion. But I don't want to be responsible for chaos, division and enmity. which might happen.


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## norman (Aug 22, 2019)

hypochondriac said:


> no I haven't norman. you recommend it?


I have read many, many books, I found it interesting, but did not change my belief, faith, but I finished the book.


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## norman (Aug 22, 2019)

hypochondriac said:


> no I haven't norman. you recommend it? by Charles Darwin?


The most disturbing book I have read is, *Johnny Got His Gun,* by Dalton Trumbo.  It should be a forced reading for every politician who voted to send a young man to war.   Anyway off subject, .....I have the Bible on my nightstand the other I placed in trash, all other books I have read were recycled.


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## Lara (Aug 28, 2019)

drifter said:


> ...Faith allows us to believe the Bible's teachings.
> Without that faith, logic leads us to believe the end of life is the end of everything.
> No purpose to life and as in the animal kingdom, luck and survival is what matters...


Without Faith, Logic leads me to the same conclusion. There is no way this intelligent design and order of creation  was a result of some random Big Chaotic Bang and Luck, using your word. That sounds like something man's finite mind would come up with. Who made the bang? Who created luck? Who created the energy? Who created the mass? Look around you. Look inside you. Feel Love. Don't you see the wonder of it all?


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## hypochondriac (Aug 30, 2019)

im in a coffee shop right now. Theres a bluesy jazz version of Smoke on the Water playing. Numbers are small. Its around 7.00am. This is the best time to come here. Later in the day its chaotic.
Ive finished reading the papers. Nothing really grabbed my attention today for some reason. The debate on Euthanasia Laws rage here. Im torn on this but the arguments seem to be repetitive after a while. Im neutral.


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