# Daily Horoscope for Seniors



## SifuPhil (Mar 20, 2013)

Aries 







 You may hurt the sentiments of your family by your unwashed skivvies.  If possible think twice before becoming an organ donor as your words could go  against you and  it may mar your family's reputation. Your creative  talents will prove to be impossible to put to proper use. Guests  crowd your house for a pleasant and wonderful evening, but are disappointed.  Use your  expertise to solve silly little matters effortlessly. Do not push your  partner off a cliff; this will only make you both distant at heart.  Your magnetic-outgoing personality will set off metal detectors at airports.    



Taurus





 Today is also a good day to follow illegal interests. Funds will slip easily through your fingers - your stars will keep the pain and embarrassment  flowing. You need to spend some time with  children without holding a video camera. You may fall in love with a marsupial. You may doubt the  sincerity of your sweetheart, which will ruin the glory of your married  life in coming days but will be kick-ass for your bachelor plans. If traveling make sure you carry the all-important elephant-bite kit.  



Gemini





 Expecting mothers need to stop expecting so much. Improvement  in finances is uncertain. Do not behave normally with your family- as it may  mar the peace. You would make major gains at work if you rifle your boss's desk. Your mastery in cat-napping will be tested. You need to concentrate your efforts to give  undesired results. A day when changes might be made at the last minutes to  your plans by an angry sea otter.  




Cancer





 Your family expects a lot from you which could drive you to homicide. Control  your tendency to live for the future and to spend too much time and effort  on breathing. Some of you are likely to purchase fake jewelry or a crappy home  appliance.  Romance suffers as mood of your cat might oscillate  today.  Although some opposition will arise from people who are working  at a lower level, still it will be important for you to remember them when you are Supreme Leader. Today you would be full of hot air and your  choice of  activities will bring you losses far beyond your expectations.  



Leo





 Periodical breakdown may cause you some problems. Take a complete dose of meth  to keep your nervous system functioning. Certain important work will  come to a halt due to a weak bladder. Auspicious day for  giving and receiving STDs from those you love. Someone may compliment  you, but they won't really mean it. Don't promise anything till you are sure you can run away.  Don't  make decisions that involve wearing leather suits later in your life.   




Virgo






 A sparkler-filled day when most things will catch on fire.  Group involvement will be entertaining but expensive- especially if you invite the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. You will be able to clear up  outstanding family debts by robbing a bank. Likely to face disappointment today. You may take your partner for granted in certain case, which  will lead to a contusion. Traveling will make you see terrible places and meet violently insane people.  




Libra





 Do not poke your nose in wife's armpit as it would invite her anger. It  is better to poke your own armpit. Interfere as little as possible,  otherwise it could create a gang war. You seem to know exactly what  people need and want from you, but try not to let them have it.  Time spent with family, children and friends will give you a migraine. Your rough attitude towards the person  you love can bring a new dimension of S&M between the relationship.   Health of your spouse may keep you worried - perhaps you should cut back on their arsenic pills. Listen to the advice given  by others if you really want to get screwed today.  


Scorpio






 Take an unbalanced diet to worsen your physical health You will possess a  desire to earn quick money, so go mug somebody. A perfect day to fix up something exciting  and entertaining with friends, like a menage-a-trois. You'll soon have a new and a better  public image if you stop showing your stamp collection to the wrong people.  Unending love and support of your partner will never happen. Travel will be beneficial but expensive when you have to pay off the kidnappers.  




Sagittarius





 Health problems are just around the corner, therefore make sure your will is up-to-date and check to see if your nieces and nephews are still alive.   You will make some extra cash today if you pick your minister's pocket. Your  brother will be more ignorant of your needs than you had thought.     Don't control your impulsive nature, as it may ruin your gambling streak. Silk tassels may affect your married life. Someone from your past is likely  to contact you and make it a memorable day by stealing your identity.   



Capricorn





 You are likely to spend your time in traction. In case you are looking for ways to make a little extra money,  invest in local loansharking schemes. Stressful time with family and friends.  Romance in the cards but sensual feelings may develop for waterfowl, which would spoil  your relationship. You will have a stressful relationship with your  spouse and there might be serious discord that will last longer than it  should. Stay away from gall bladders and tumors.    



*Aquarius*
 Don't ask people to do things for you - just threaten them. Think in terms of  others' wants and interests, then ignore them. Avoid second cousins twice removed and dubious religious schemes. Your family members are  likely to create a mountain out of your used dentures. Use your expertise to  play with your wooden blocks. Your small effort could make the  problem worse for all. Don't promise anything till you are sure you can lie.  A day for cautious moves- stay away from downtown Detroit and Wilkes Barre, PA.  



*Pisces*
 Avoid heroin as it may worsen your illness. ****** problems ruin  your ability to think constructively. Work hard to get welfare for your  family. Your actions should be dictated by lust and negative vision, not by altruism. Today your beloved would find it extremely difficult to  deal with your erotic behavior. Take care of what happens around you - keep that pin in the grenade as long as possible. A spiritual  leader or an elder proves a soft touch.


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