# Happiness is not a relief



## Victor (Oct 27, 2017)

I  discovered that when I retired I was very *relieved*--but I am still not happy.
Happiness is not merely quitting a job or gettihg over a disease. It must be something very
*positive *as well. To be relieved of a negative does not make a positive, at least not to me.

There must be more, and I do not mean starting a hobby, joining a club, investing and the
usual things people do in free time, It must be much bigger than that! The questions is--
what is that?  I don't count watching a movie or eating at a cafe. That passes quickly.

Decades ago a national US survey showed that people who said they were unhappy said that
they had not enough positive or enjoyable things to do. They were not unhappy because of
poor health, divorce, job loss, lack of money and the usual reasons.

What say you?


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## hollydolly (Oct 27, 2017)

What say me ?? I say if you discover what it is can I be the first to know because I've been asking the same question for the longest time?


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## Lara (Oct 27, 2017)

Victor said:


> I  discovered that when I retired I was very *relieved*--but I am still not happy....There must be more, and I do not mean starting a hobby, joining a club, investing and the usual things people do in free time, It must be much bigger than that! The questions is-- what is that? Decades ago a national US survey showed that people who said they... were not unhappy because of poor health, divorce, job loss, lack of money and the usual reasons.


My thought is that "poor health, job loss, lack of money, etc" often results in regrets that continuously haunt us. And there is a void that needs to be filled inside all of us. I had regrets popping into my head daily after I retired and bogged me down, but I figured out how to remove each regret one at a time...instantly. It works like a miracle. 

And thankfully, I figured out a long time ago how to fill that void or empty feeling instantly and what I filled it with that is accessible to everyone instantly. That also works like a miracle. My life isn't perfect by far but I'm happy, grateful, and feel loved everyday despite the imperfections of my past present and future. And the burden of regrets has been lifted totally. 

Overtime a new regret pops into my head (not as often now) so, again, I do the same thing that takes it away. I'll tell you what that something is. PM me. Everyone regrets missed opportunities, wrong choices, and sometimes much worse. Even the worst can be lifted. It's a short answer basically...very simple and easy... but not everyone has a desire to hear it so I won't bore them here.

Here is part of the answer, but she doesn't tell you how to do numbers 1 and 2. That's where I can help possibly...
https://www.seniorforums.com/showthread.php/32093-5-Simple-Rules-for-Seniors-to-be-Happy


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## Loosey (Oct 27, 2017)

I think the answer appears in your original post, but I may be mistaken.  It says people who were unhappy said they had not enough positive or enjoyable things to do.  

Positive and enjoyable are subjective, surely, so we each need to figure out what fits the bill for us.  For me it's spending time with family and friends, volunteer jobs and civic duties, hobbies, pets.


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## RadishRose (Oct 27, 2017)

Victor said:


> I  discovered that when I retired I was very *relieved*--but I am still not happy.
> Happiness is not merely quitting a job or getting over a disease. It must be something very
> *positive *as well. To be relieved of a negative does not make a positive, at least not to me.
> 
> ...



Well, it's up to You you make a "positive", it doesn't just fall into your lap.

Quitting a job or retiring can be depressing at first.  Happens a lot.

But not finding happiness over conquering a disease? Are you_ kidding _me right now?

To not suffer, to not die in agony, to not put your family through the sadness for your sake at least for now, doesn't give you any happiness?

"_Decades ago a national US survey showed that people who said they were unhappy said that
they had not enough positive or enjoyable things to do_."

How many decades ago and what survey was this?  (NO one is happy all the time.)

 "_people who said they were unhappy said that they had not enough positive or enjoyable things to do_." 
Why? What do *you* think prevented them from having enough positive or enjoyable things to do?

I think people like this who feel they are missing out on "happiness" even though they've escaped say, terminal illness are probably just low on a chemical in their brains that allow for the feeling of happiness or contentment. 

We no longer have to suffer. There are replacement drugs, and I've needed them myself. Why not consult with a Dr. about your unhappiness? If it caused you to write about it here, I can see it's bothering you. Best wishes.


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## Cap'nSacto (Oct 27, 2017)

Victor, to "there must be more" - I can only speak for myself. I have no regrets. I've made many mistakes, I can even pinpoint them, but I don't regret them. 

I made one major mistake that I regretted for many years. It was eating at me, and I couldn't just "let it go." So, about 5 years ago, I went to the two people I thought it effected most and talked to them about it. 

They said, "Yes, you used poor judgement, but we got over that a long time ago. At the time, the worst part about it was finding out that you're human. But that's actually the best part, because we were bound to make mistakes, too. Dad, everyone make mistakes. There are no exceptions."


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## exwisehe (Oct 27, 2017)

What do I say? Well, that's a long story, so I'll keep it brief. Like everyone, I've made mistakes and have regrets. But now in "autumn of my years" I find happiness in watching my daughters succeed, and I love visits by family members at Thanksgiving and Christmas, especially visits by my granddaughters.  I look back on life now and savor the good memories - going on vacations with my kids, especially the beach, watching them go through school, then to college, then marriage, and beyond. Now I'm going through it all again with the g-kids.

     My wife and I love to go to the symphony (where my daughter is a horn player), both here and in the Carolina Symphony.  Also my wife and I are heavily engaged in church work.  I'm also a member of a men's Christian group that serves the community, schools, churches, and others.  We meet every Saturday for breakfast, then every month for a dinner meeting, and at other times. Its a very close knit group, and to me "serving and working for a greater and higher cause" is the source for a deep down happiness, and that is hard to describe, so I'll leave it at that.


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## Aunt Bea (Oct 27, 2017)

I say happiness is a choice and an attitude.

I also believe that much of the happiness in my life has come from helping others and not being concerned about myself and my own problems.

"_Happiness is a choice – not a result. Nothing will make you happy  until you choose to be happy. No person will make you happy unless you  decide to be happy. Your happiness will not come to you. It can only  come from you." – _Ralph Marston

Good luck!!!


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## Shalimar (Oct 27, 2017)

I think perhaps we can place too much emphasis on happiness. It is ephemeral at best. Contentment, a sense of purpose,  that might be easier to achieve. Some find meaning in sharing their life skills/wisdom with others through a variety of ways. Volunteering, mentoring etc. Others foster needy 

animals. Some interact with random people as they go about their errands---one smile freely given can warm hearts. Some travel. An introvert uncomfortable with dealing with people might take up writing. I would love to believe that I am the primary arbiter of 

my own happiness. I suspect I still carry too much baggage for that to be entirely true. Many people are in the same position. But hey, we slay the dragons we can, live with the rest. Out of that acceptance has come my peace of mind.


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## Meanderer (Oct 27, 2017)

If we seek contentment, in whatever state we are in, happiness will be sure to follow.  We should try not to let circumstances rule our moods.


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## Vega_Lyra (Oct 28, 2017)

[h=1][/h]We become vulnerable when our feelings of security and happiness depend on the behavior of other people.
Genuine happiness should come from within.
:wave:


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## hollydolly (Oct 28, 2017)

Vega_Lyra said:


> We become vulnerable when our feelings of security and happiness depend on the behavior of other people.
> Genuine happiness should come from within.
> :wave:





oooh I absolutely and totally agree....


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## rkunsaw (Oct 28, 2017)

I totally agree Aunt Bea.


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## dpwspringer (Oct 29, 2017)

I certainly don't have the answer but what helps a lot with me is a walk in the woods at dawn every morning where I take in the beauty of nature renewing itself each day.


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## IrisSenior (Oct 29, 2017)

In my opinion, happiness can arise by being thankful for what you do have.


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## Bullie76 (Oct 29, 2017)

Meanderer said:


> If we seek contentment, in whatever state we are in, happiness will be sure to follow.



Works for me. But some people never find it.


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## Victor (Oct 29, 2017)

I am thinking of happiness over the course of a lifetime, not some nice days. Or a walk in the woods.
Posters seem to take happness ina minimal way, the least necessary to be happy.
For me, having an attractive somewhat younger woman to hang out with as a friend and more
woud help a lot but that's likely impossible at my advanced age.

I have joined more clubs over the years than I can remember--online and offline.


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## SeaBreeze (Oct 29, 2017)

Victor said:


> For me, having an attractive somewhat younger woman to hang out with as a friend and more
> woud help a lot but that's likely impossible at my advanced age.



How about a woman your own age who had a kind heart and is beautiful on the _inside_, I think that would bring you much more happiness.  There are women around who are very caring, you should just try to get out and meet one.  Good luck, I hope you do find happiness soon.


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## Aunt Bea (Oct 29, 2017)

Victor,

I don't want to sound like Pollyanna but I think that you would be happier if you concentrated your energy on the things that you have and not the things that are missing in your life.  IMO if you appear to be happy and content with the life that you have you are more likely to attract someone that wants to share those things.

Good luck!!!


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## Skyking (Oct 29, 2017)

At his height of fame Albert Einstein ran out of tip money so he wrote and gave the waiter a real tip more valuable than a few coins and one that would recently fetch the current owner of the note a modest  $1.56 Million at auction. His 'Theory of Happiness' goes like this...“A calm and modest life brings more happiness than the pursuit of success combined with constant restlessness.” In my life that rings so true. But sadly when I was a young man I could  understand neither the logic or the importance of such a statement and now for me the pursuit of success and all that goes with it is irrelevant.


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## Ruth n Jersey (Oct 29, 2017)

I have days when I feel unhappy and if I can't find anything that makes me happy in the present I think back about good times I've had from long ago. Some situations even make me laugh. I also try very hard to eliminate anything unpleasant. I don't listen to the news much anymore, all gloom and doom. On Facebook I found I can delete any subjects I find depressing that come from my friends without unfriending them. The best solution for me is to read or listen to an audio book.


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## dpwspringer (Oct 30, 2017)

Ruth n Jersey said:


> I have days when I feel unhappy and if I can't find anything that makes me happy in the present I think back about good times I've had from long ago. Some situations even make me laugh. I also try very hard to eliminate anything unpleasant. I don't listen to the news much anymore, all gloom and doom. On Facebook I found I can delete any subjects I find depressing that come from my friends without unfriending them. The best solution for me is to read or listen to an audio book.


That's good advice. Like you I have found that when I'm down it helps to think back at the things/times I enjoyed and try to appreciate that I at least have those... so maybe things aren't as bad as I am making them.


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## Uptosnuff (Dec 3, 2017)

I think people are happiest when they are part of a whole.  When they are active and engaged in something bigger than themselves.  Something they believe in, that gives them purpose.  I think that's why people join clubs, groups, volunteer work, etc.  They are trying to find that sense of belonging and fulfillment.  I am not by nature a touchy, feeley, gushing sort of person.  But I have started reaching out to people, caring about their lives, and I have to say I am happier for it.  Everything is not always a bed of roses, but at least I feel I am part of a living community. 

When I retire, I plan to be a producer (of food) for the local food co-op.  I also plan to volunteer at the local state parks.  I am trying to get a fitness certification so I can have an impact on keeping people healthy through excersize.  They are things I am passionate about.  I am so looking forward to retirement when I have the time to persue these.

I think you said you have tried joining groups, memberships, etc.  Maybe when you find that something that makes you feel a part of it, you will find what you're looking for.


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## CindyLouWho (Dec 3, 2017)

[FONT=&quot]As human beings, we need to know that we[/FONT][FONT=&quot] are not alone, that we are not crazy or completely out of our minds, that there are other people out there who feel as we do, live as we do, love as we do, who are like us. Billy Joel



[/FONT]



[FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]


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## Smiling Jane (Dec 3, 2017)

I think we all need to be productive, although that can take different forms.

I was watching a show several months ago where Martin Clune bought a pair of work horses and then he and the horses went to a trainer. The guy told Clune the horses had to work or they would get up to mischief.

I've read the same thing about working dog breeds. You can't buy a husky and not keep it busy, or you'll have problems. I knew a couple of people who got Dalmatians after the movie thinking they had attractive house dogs. Wrong. Those were some of the most destructive dogs I've ever seen.

It's quite possible we humans are the same way. We need to feel we're doing something worthwhile.


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## OneEyedDiva (Jan 18, 2018)

I've gone through illness (chronic heart condition) and bad times in my life. I looked forward to retirement and had separation anxiety for a couple of months afterward. I visited my co-workers every couple of weeks for awhile. But I was excited to be retired, it was a dream come true for me. I was still dealing with illness and also an aging mother I had to take care of and take to appointments and such. I wound up being busier in retirement than when I was working. But I found joy in family, in nature, in connecting with friends and in the freedom of not having to get up and go to work each day and just taking stock of my blessings. In addition, I got my first digital piano and began composing music. I was excited about what I could do with that thing and how my creativity was expressed. A few years later, I produced my debut CD. I agree that taking the focus off oneself and helping others is rewarding. Finding something you love to do is as well. Everybody has *something* they love doing. Go new places, see new things, even if it's only a day trip. Keep active in the best way you can.


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## happytime (Jan 20, 2018)

I can't believe that I have found this as I to am STUCK.....in the same situation....I've done the new hobby thing,joining a club ect....you get the picture.....what is left in life I'am so bored an frustrated with life itself.....is this all there is to retirement???? I ahve traveled an many trips were exciting but even that does not interest me anymore....infact it's rather nerve racking....maybe we will find some answers here....


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## happytime (Jan 20, 2018)

I can't believe that I have found this as I to am STUCK.....in the same situation....I've done the new hobby thing,joining a club ect....you get the picture.....what is left in life I'am so bored an frustrated with life itself.....is this all there is to retirement???? I ahve traveled an many trips were exciting but even that does not interest me anymore....infact it's rather nerve racking....maybe we will find some answers here....


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## C'est Moi (Jan 20, 2018)

I think retirement is another of those milestones that serve to remind us that our personal "sands of time" are dwindling in the hourglass.   It's easy to feel melancholy about such things, whether consciously or subconsciously.  

I took early retirement a couple of years ago and never looked back.   My career was stressful and demanding and I was happy to leave it behind.   I don't need a lot of interaction with people so I am very content to mostly piddle around my house, read, garden, etc.   I sometimes get bored and the dreary winter days make me feel down, but I don't dwell on things.   I go out with friends occasionally but for the most part I am satisfied keeping to myself.  

My husband also took early retirement a couple of years ago and he is constantly on the go.   He does volunteer work with Habitat for Humanity, helps our son with his business, takes care of his mother's property and finances, etc.   He stays busy and that's the way he likes it.

Each of us has to find our own way in retirement just as in other stages of our life.   I don't believe any of us has the answer for you; it's something you have to find for yourself.


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## Olivia (Jan 20, 2018)

Happy is what happens when you're not thinking about it. Thoughts can be dangerous for one's mental health.


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## happytime (Jan 20, 2018)

*What is happiness*

What is happiness...is it a new hobby an new relationship...please I'am to old...a new boat...i live in Florida.....I'm with the rest of you,,,I can't find happiness...I retired at 57...to take care of my Mom an brother...he was a paraplegic mom was in her 90's...it filled my life ,no doubt....then they died...my brother in 08 my Mom in 09 an in 2010 I was told I had stage 4...your going to die cancer....well I didn't an I should be thankful for everyday BUT....as Iam really I'am so bored with life.....what happen to that excitement ,that will to adventure out an discover....it's all gone...where did it go...what happen to me.....I got old an at this point nothing is my life....


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## happytime (Jan 20, 2018)

I'am looking hard an finding nothing.....guess I should change my name to "Sadtime instead of Happytime


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## peppermint (Jan 20, 2018)

happytime, I'm so sorry you are feeling sad....Can you get to a Senior Center?...My Mother in law did that when she lost her husband....She sold her house and rented in another house...
She attended Church often and had a few friends...She came down with Cancer at 80 yrs old and lived a couple of  more years...That was 23 years ago...
There are buses in our County that brings Seniors to the grocer stores and the Malls....They pick up whenever you call them...Maybe you should look into this....
My heart goes out to you...Please try to be happy....


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## RadishRose (Jan 20, 2018)

It sounds like you're having some depression.  You've been through a lot. Please tell your doctor how you feel and that you want some help.  Better days are coming.


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## RiverUp (Mar 8, 2018)

Lara said:


> My thought is that "poor health, job loss, lack of money, etc" often results in regrets that continuously haunt us. And there is a void that needs to be filled inside all of us. I had regrets popping into my head daily after I retired and bogged me down, but I figured out how to remove each regret one at a time...instantly. It works like a miracle.
> 
> And thankfully, I figured out a long time ago how to fill that void or empty feeling instantly and what I filled it with that is accessible to everyone instantly. That also works like a miracle. My life isn't perfect by far but I'm happy, grateful, and feel loved everyday despite the imperfections of my past present and future. And the burden of regrets has been lifted totally.
> 
> ...



Yes, the answer is in the original post, if I am correct.  Also, I found several books, that helped me a lot and I am still so excited about them, even though I "got helped" through these books a while back.  (They have been around for some years, I believe.) I keep these two books so I can read them whenever I might want to do so again.  Here are the books:  "You Can Be Happy No Matter What," by Richard Carlson and my favorite is "Happiness is a Choice," by Frank Minirth and Paul Meier.  I highly recommend these excellent books; they made a real difference for me.  They may be out of print; look in the second-hand stores. 

 I'm going to say something that sounds strange.  If you have had a lot of heartache/unhappiness in your life, (I have,) it is almost like the more you have suffered, the better candidate you are to become happy.  The worse your prospects look to find happiness, the greater your potential to find permanent happiness.  It is true.  Why?  Because the "eyes and ears" of your heart are honed, open, seeking.  You already know all the "ways" that don't work, and cannot be fooled.  In this way, you actually use your sadness against itself and what a great victory to use the enemy, (sadness) to destroy itself.  How perfect is that?  You have "had it" with misery and are ready to be happy, and you can be!   Some of you think I sound pretty nutty, but some of you are seeing a pure, crystal stream of hope coming your way, because your instincts are telling you I may be on to something.  You really do have a choice to be happy.


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## Victor (Mar 9, 2018)

I recently read a paperback  The Myths of Happiness by a psychologist, based on her research, not opinion.

She answers all the questions like "I would be happy only if----" and I will be happy when---happens" Then tells us that this end goal
is not so great after all, such as having children, getting married, moving, money, etc.

The poster who is from Florida--may I ask what city or county?

Disagree with the post that sadness will somehow bring about happiness. Research shows that isn't true, I hate to say.


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## James (Mar 9, 2018)

Some days I'm bored but unhappy, no.  Sometimes I believe the two get interchanged.  Are you truly unhappy or just bored?  

I enjoy puttering so when I get bored, I change that by finding something to do around the house, doing an errand or something I've been procrastinating....there are a lot of those things.

Today, I'm meeting my former partner for a coffee then its off to Home Depot to get some parts to McGyver a bird feeder that the squirrels damaged.  My day is full!


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## RiverUp (Mar 20, 2018)

Victor said:


> I recently read a paperback  The Myths of Happiness by a psychologist, based on her research, not opinion.
> 
> She answers all the questions like "I would be happy only if----" and I will be happy when---happens" Then tells us that this end goal
> is not so great after all, such as having children, getting married, moving, money, etc.
> ...



You are right completely, sadness itself does NOT bring about happiness.  So my post was clumsy in this.  I was unclear and, due to the depth of this subject, must continue to be unclear.  I'm sorry about that. 

 Sadness can generate a personal search for something better  and sadness can ignite personal growth. 

 Some of the books I mentioned explain how this comes about. 

 Oh!  I found the third book on happiness that I wanted to recommend.  It, also, may be out of print, but...doesn't mean it can't be found.  Here are the three books
on happiness that I love:

1.)  Happiness in an Inside Job, by John Powell, S.J.
2.)  You Can Be Happy, No Matter What, by Richard Carlson
3.)  Happiness is a Choice, by Frank Minirth and Paul Meier

The titles of these books can make one a little angry.  You know what I mean?  They are all pretty cool books and you can read them when you are mad.  Ha!  To grow, one may need some new ideas.  

Oh!  And the "make one a little angry" part is not directed at anyone...just a thought to consider.  

I will also keep my eyes open for "The Myths of happiness" mentioned by Victor.


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## Lin (Mar 21, 2018)

For me there is no happiness anymore. There are no books or Oprah insights that can help. I am unhappy cause of loneliness, plain and simple. I have come to accept that and I learned to value what I have rather than what I do not have.  I have my son, who calls me everyday and gives me a laugh. I have my daughter who I am so completely proud of. Unfortunately for me both of them live 3000 miles away.  But they are there. Happiness is subjective. For me if I had someone who got me, a "soulmate" (forgive me but it's true for me) I tend to think that would work.  I am probably kidding myself.


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## RiverUp (Mar 22, 2018)

Since the happiness I have found has been "hard won," I'll share a little in the hope my comments may help someone reading.  First of all, (and this is a key,) one must be willing to work and fight a personal "fight" for happiness, believing that the goal can be reached.

Happiness that "just arrives" at our doorstep is what we, as humans, all want.  In fact, without thinking it through, we tend to think the idea of happiness "just happening" is part of the definition of happiness.  It is important, in my opinion and experience, to reject the idea of "easy," happiness.

What I wrote above is absolutely foundational.

Once you have this foundation, you are ready to tackle sadness.  Next, one must develop a sort of "net" of endeavor that encompasses
all the separate  issue that glue themselves together in opposition to  one's precious goal:  personal happiness.  One who is sad has much to gain and little to lose, so this daunting task is worth taking on.

Brain-generated, chemically inherited depression/anxiety (yes, I know about that,) is one issue that I mention because it is just huge for a person to deal with.  You work on it, reading, researching, praying (if you do that,) and checking with your doctor.  You learn what works best for you.

The rest of the causes of each one's sadness are "fill in the blank."  We each have similar, but different things we struggle with.  One learns to accept struggle, while believing in a good, yes even wonderful eventual outcome.  Please go back and read that last sentence again.

There is an optimistic "bottom line" that one develops.  If your most basic expectation is pessimistic, that de-rail what you are trying to attain.  

So, how does one change the basic expectation from pessimistic to optimistic?  Ah!  Here we have a spiritual or philosophical element.  If you have no spiritual or no very strong philosophical belief you may have no anchor and it might be important for you to revisit these subjects.

I hope these comments are helpful to someone.  I am only one person, but what I wrote has been and continues to be the answer for me.


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## Olivia (Mar 22, 2018)

When I was in my twenties and had a reason to ask myself if I was happy or not, I most always thought, yes, I'm happy. And I thought if I were ever unhappy, even that's not so bad because in a mental ditch, the only way out was going to eventually be up. 

Now being decades older, it's been a very long time since I've asked myself if I am happy or not. There's no time for that. Instead I wake up asking myself out of all choices I have to decide about what I want to do today, what is it going to be? And that's not always so easy. I do keep in mind that my years ahead is not the same as in my twenties and that I have to consider that in making any decisions. 

I think at a certain time in life, one kind of reaches a set point of satisfaction with life and hopefully it's higher than lower. If lower then I always remember the best way out of a funk is get up and do something, even if you don't feel like it. And then there's that old cliche about fake it until you make it. It's even said that when you're feeling down, smile anyway, because somehow it works to make you feel better.


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## Lon (Mar 22, 2018)

Happiness is obtained by adapting and adjusting to the environment in which you live.


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## helenbacque (Mar 22, 2018)

Lon said:


> Happiness is obtained by adapting and adjusting to the environment in which you live.



So true.


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## ClassicRockr (Mar 22, 2018)

Lon said:


> Happiness is obtained by adapting and adjusting to the environment in which you live.



Not for us it isn't, Lon. Tried to adapt and adjust to here (northeastern Florida), but it just hasn't worked out. Will be much, much happier when we move.


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## RadishRose (Mar 22, 2018)

Olivia and Jim, I agree with both of you. You too, Lon if people give things a chance.

Jim, I have discovered in myself that boredom felt like unhappiness. How stupid is that? While I live on SS and a small pension, I have enough to do things now and then- even for free.


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## C'est Moi (Mar 22, 2018)

Olivia said:


> When I was in my twenties and had a reason to ask myself if I was happy or not, I most always thought, yes, I'm happy. And I thought if I were ever unhappy, even that's not so bad because in a mental ditch, the only way out was going to eventually be up.
> 
> Now being decades older, it's been a very long time since I've asked myself if I am happy or not. There's no time for that. Instead I wake up asking myself out of all choices I have to decide about what I want to do today, what is it going to be? And that's not always so easy. I do keep in mind that my years ahead is not the same as in my twenties and that I have to consider that in making any decisions.
> 
> *I think at a certain time in life, one kind of reaches a set point of satisfaction with life and hopefully it's higher than lower. *If lower then I always remember the best way out of a funk is get up and do something, even if you don't feel like it. And then there's that old cliche about fake it until you make it. It's even said that when you're feeling down, smile anyway, because somehow it works to make you feel better.



Exactly.   I don't waste any time wondering whether I'm "happy."   I'm content and my health is good and I really enjoy my life.   What more could I ask for?   

When I was young I was prone to "is this all there is?" syndrome when I was overwhelmed and unhappy.   Thankfully those times were few and far between.


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## Knight (Mar 22, 2018)

Happiness 


I've always looked at it this way. Be happy with what you have.


I could have been born in a 3rd. world country, starving, minus a parent maybe both, no shelter.


To read about being unhappy on the internet where it takes a computer and  access that might cost more than some FAMILIES make in a year fits my phylosophy of being happy I have comforts that they may never have.


Yep I'm happy with my life evev though I'm recovering extensive cervical spine surgery that has left me with loss of my left arm and hand.


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## Lin (Mar 22, 2018)

I agree to the concept of happiness as a choice. However for me that just don’t work. Contentment is a substitute that can work for some and I can at times feel content.  I know happiness is said to have to come from inside you, well If that is it then I am out of luck cause all my happiness I ever experienced in life was with other loved people and mostly those who “got me” . Without outside connection I just fall short of being happy.  Personal flaw? Maybe.
However I am extremely grateful for all I have every single day.


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## Cap'nSacto (Mar 22, 2018)

I visited this post when it was new. I found it confusing. The title makes more sense in reverse...or something like; "Relief does not (necessarily) equal happiness."


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## Victor (Mar 23, 2018)

Yes that is what I meant. Relief and happiness are not the same. Relief is not necessarily happiness.
I don't have a definition of happiness--it is too subjective.


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## Mizzkitt (Mar 23, 2018)

Victor said:


> Yes that is what I meant. Relief and happiness are not the same. Relief is not necessarily happiness.
> I don't have a definition of happiness--it is too subjective.



You might say that there is relief in getting away from an unhappy situation.


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## Lara (Mar 24, 2018)

Happiness is about one powerful word...Love. And I don't mean exclusively between man and woman as we know that's not available to everyone. I mean love manifested in many ways that can be actively and reciprocally shared, like love and caring for a pet or animals, love of your garden (it gives back from fruits of your labor), love of music shared with others, love of travel shared, love of cooking shared, love of friends...

...and loving the unlovable like toomuchstuff with a lady she met in her class (refer to thread: https://www.seniorforums.com/showthread.php/34870-Can-you-help-me-understand-this-lady-I-met ), and taking care of God's creation as you share it and give back to Him.


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## Gary O' (Mar 24, 2018)

Never concentrated much on that angle
Seems doing that kinda internal inventory is a bit of a downer all by itself 
Gotta root around so much crud 

I’ve found if I seek what I like to do, to accomplish, and of that, even to rest from, well, life is pretty darn good

‘Happy’ is such a cheap word
Used too much
And rather easy to come by…in pieces…oftentimes fleeting

‘Contentment’, now that one’s rich...loaded

Life is a meal;
Most of us here are rich enough to have tasted of the savory stuff we like
And old enough to know when to push away from even that
A good unbridled burp is the ‘relief’ and testament of a fine meal 

Now, a nap, well, we’ll have that soon enough

I’ll be outside

Today was a FUBAR

But tomorrow is happening


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## ancient mariner (Apr 20, 2018)

Happiness is overrated.  But if you insist, try this:
https://www.livehappy.com/


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