# As Life Goes on Without Our Beloved Pet Friend



## Ruthanne (Aug 27, 2020)

After we lose a dear pet we hold a special place for them in our hearts.  We go through the grief phases just like with losing anyone.  We may ask ourselves what we could have done better, we hurt and break down and cry, we miss their presence so, we try to help the other pets get on with living without them.

I had given Alice three separate treatments to try to cure her and she seemed like she was doing better for awhile.  When I saw she was getting worse I made an appointment to take her back to the Vet.  I was hoping she would make it till the appointment but she suddenly died.  I am a big animal lover and it has hurt a lot.

All I can do is help Jasmine get on and that's what I do.  I have my bad moments but still have some lovely memories of what a very special bird Alice was.  I'm not sure what her age was as I got her from a pet store.  Yet, I feel she was too young to go...


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## Ken N Tx (Aug 28, 2020)

Dear Master,
You have been my teacher, my friend and most beloved companion. I was like your child, totally dependent on you for all my needs. But I never grew up and moved away as children do, I just grew to love and need you more each day, each month, each year.
I never went hungry because you gave me dinner and gave me water each day. When the weather was bad I found comfort in the warmth and safety of your home. I delighted you by learning tricks, but what you may not have realized is that I loved learning from you because I lived to please you.
The touch of your hand stroking my fur made my life worthwhile. Though I barked at noises in the night, the postman's footsteps and the ringing of the doorbell; the voice of my master was the one sound that I cherished most. Your moods became my moods. When you were sad or lonely, I nuzzled closer to comfort you .
There were times when you became upset with me because I soiled the carpet, chewed on a piece of furniture, or barked too much. But do not feel bad about those times when you scolded me - I needed to learn right from wrong, and I always understood when things weren't going your way or when you'd had an unpleasant day at work. There is no need for you to harbor guilt or remorse on my behalf.
You loved me and blessed me with more happiness than most animals will ever know. Instead of wondering what you could have done differently, remember the funny things I did and the happy times we shared together. Though it is hard for you to understand, I was ready to pass on from this life.
Our time together was short, but if we'd had fifty years together, you still would have not been ready for me to leave.
So please, Master, share your life with others. Do not refuse the opportunity to give another lucky pet the love you have given me. No other animal will ever take my place in your heart, but there is another one who needs you and will grow to love you as much as I did.
I am now at peace and no longer feel pain. You gave me a wonderful home and a happy existence on this earth. So please be happy - go on with your life and give your love to others.
Although I no longer share your world, I will always live in your heart, and you in mine.
*Farewell, Dear Master*


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## Rosemarie (Aug 28, 2020)

This is the sad part of having pets. Their lives are short and we have to deal with their deaths. When they are unwell, they can't tell us what the problem is so we have to guess. Do we take them to the vet or not? We feel guilty, wondering if there was something more we should have done.
I've always had pets of some kind and you never get hardened to losing them. Yet, in spite of the pain, we still want animals in our lives.


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## bingo (Aug 28, 2020)

i am so sad for your pain...we're getting near that same loss..we must outlive these  precious pets..
no one would ever love them like you


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## MickaC (Aug 28, 2020)

Ken N Tx said:


> Dear Master,
> You have been my teacher, my friend and most beloved companion. I was like your child, totally dependent on you for all my needs. But I never grew up and moved away as children do, I just grew to love and need you more each day, each month, each year.
> I never went hungry because you gave me dinner and gave me water each day. When the weather was bad I found comfort in the warmth and safety of your home. I delighted you by learning tricks, but what you may not have realized is that I loved learning from you because I lived to please you.
> The touch of your hand stroking my fur made my life worthwhile. Though I barked at noises in the night, the postman's footsteps and the ringing of the doorbell; the voice of my master was the one sound that I cherished most. Your moods became my moods. When you were sad or lonely, I nuzzled closer to comfort you .
> ...


Brought tears reading this......Thank you for the meaningful post.


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## LindaB (Aug 28, 2020)

Ken N Tx said:


> Dear Master,
> You have been my teacher, my friend and most beloved companion. I was like your child, totally dependent on you for all my needs. But I never grew up and moved away as children do, I just grew to love and need you more each day, each month, each year.
> I never went hungry because you gave me dinner and gave me water each day. When the weather was bad I found comfort in the warmth and safety of your home. I delighted you by learning tricks, but what you may not have realized is that I loved learning from you because I lived to please you.
> The touch of your hand stroking my fur made my life worthwhile. Though I barked at noises in the night, the postman's footsteps and the ringing of the doorbell; the voice of my master was the one sound that I cherished most. Your moods became my moods. When you were sad or lonely, I nuzzled closer to comfort you .
> ...


Crying my eyes out at this. It's  been one month since I lost my little Zoey and some days something reminds me of her sweet face and loving temperament and I will cry all over again. My little baby girl will forever have my heart.


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## MickaC (Aug 28, 2020)

LindaB said:


> Crying my eyes out at this. It's  been one month since I lost my little Zoey and some days something reminds me of her sweet face and loving temperament and I will cry all over again. My little baby girl will forever have my heart.


I know it is very hard......she'll be forever in your heart and memories......our little loved ones are part of our souls.


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## Ruth n Jersey (Aug 28, 2020)

@Ruthanne ,I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved bird. Mine is getting on in years also. I certainly understand your grief.


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## OneEyedDiva (Aug 28, 2020)

We lost our beloved Audra, nickname Catbaby, over 20 years ago so I know the feeling.  Sorry you lost your dear bird Ruthanne.


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## Ruthanne (Aug 28, 2020)

thank you Ruth and OID.  It's never easy losing our beloved pets.  I hope to see all I've lost one day again, somehow.  I'm sorry you lost Audra.


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## Phoenix (Aug 28, 2020)

I lost my 19-year-old cat Lucy in March.  There's a hole in my heart.  I have a picture of her and her sister Ethel as my wallpaper on my desktop computer.  Ethel died three years ago.  It helps to have their little faces greet me each day when I turn on the computer.  It doesn't make them seem quite as inaccessible.


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## SeaBreeze (Aug 28, 2020)

My heart goes out to you Ruthanne, your loss is very new and your feelings of grief are most tender.  She was blessed to have you love her....hugs.


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## Ruthanne (Aug 29, 2020)

Phoenix said:


> I lost my 19-year-old cat Lucy in March.  There's a hole in my heart.  I have a picture of her and her sister Ethel as my wallpaper on my desktop computer.  Ethel died three years ago.  It helps to have their little faces greet me each day when I turn on the computer.  It doesn't make them seem quite as inaccessible.


I'm glad that helps you Phoenix.


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## Phoenix (Aug 29, 2020)

Ruthanne said:


> I'm glad that helps you Phoenix.


Have you tried it?  That's why I brought up what I did, in hopes it might help you.


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## Ruthanne (Aug 29, 2020)

Phoenix said:


> Have you tried it?  That's why I brought up what I did, in hopes it might help you.


No I haven't tried it yet but it's something for me to think about.


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## Autumn (Aug 29, 2020)

We had our Miss Kitty for 16 years.  She had a lot of health problems, my husband used to joke that she was the only cat he knew with her own Ophthalmologist, Cardiologist, Dentist, Dermatologist and GI Specialist.  She died of a heart attack - I never even knew cats could have heart attacks.

We were heartbroken, but our 6 year old niece told us the story of the Rainbow Bridge and what a wonderful place it was.  She was so sweet.  She said all pets go there and are happy and free from pain.  She even drew us a picture of Miss Kitty crossing the bridge.  Of all the condolences we got, that one meant the most.


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## Butterfly (Aug 29, 2020)

When I've lost a dog,  I've always rescued another.  No matter how much your heart hurts from the loss, there are so many out there who need good loving homes and deserve a chance at love and comfort.  I feel that rescuing another dog honors the memory of the lost one more than staying stuck in grief and not rescuing again.  You can't help the lost dog any more, but you can offer another the gift of life.


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## Nathan (Aug 29, 2020)

Ruthanne said:


> After we lose a dear pet we hold a special place for them in our hearts. We go through the grief phases just like with losing anyone


Yes.   3+ years and the loss is still painful.


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## Ruthanne (Aug 29, 2020)

Autumn said:


> We had our Miss Kitty for 16 years.  She had a lot of health problems, my husband used to joke that she was the only cat he knew with her own Ophthalmologist, Cardiologist, Dentist, Dermatologist and GI Specialist.  She died of a heart attack - I never even knew cats could have heart attacks.
> 
> We were heartbroken, but our 6 year old niece told us the story of the Rainbow Bridge and what a wonderful place it was.  She was so sweet.  She said all pets go there and are happy and free from pain.  She even drew us a picture of Miss Kitty crossing the bridge.  Of all the condolences we got, that one meant the most.


Sorry for your loss.


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## Phoenix (Aug 29, 2020)

Butterfly said:


> When I've lost a dog,  I've always rescued another.  No matter how much your heart hurts from the loss, there are so many out there who need good loving homes and deserve a chance at love and comfort.  I feel that rescuing another dog honors the memory of the lost one more than staying stuck in grief and not rescuing again.  You can't help the lost dog any more, but you can offer another the gift of life.


My problem is that should my husband and I pass there would be no to take care of the new pet.  So we don't get another one.  An animal who gives so much love does not deserve to be abandoned, even if we couldn't help it.


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## Ruthanne (Aug 29, 2020)

Phoenix said:


> I lost my 19-year-old cat Lucy in March.  There's a hole in my heart.  I have a picture of her and her sister Ethel as my wallpaper on my desktop computer.  Ethel died three years ago.  It helps to have their little faces greet me each day when I turn on the computer.  It doesn't make them seem quite as inaccessible.


I'm sorry for your loss.


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## Ken N Tx (Aug 30, 2020)

Our lost pets are not to far away..Our fence line..


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## Phoenix (Aug 30, 2020)

Ruthanne said:


> After we lose a dear pet we hold a special place for them in our hearts.  We go through the grief phases just like with losing anyone.  We may ask ourselves what we could have done better, we hurt and break down and cry, we miss their presence so, we try to help the other pets get on with living without them.
> 
> I had given Alice three separate treatments to try to cure her and she seemed like she was doing better for awhile.  When I saw she was getting worse I made an appointment to take her back to the Vet.  I was hoping she would make it till the appointment but she suddenly died.  I am a big animal lover and it has hurt a lot.
> 
> All I can do is help Jasmine get on and that's what I do.  I have my bad moments but still have some lovely memories of what a very special bird Alice was.  I'm not sure what her age was as I got her from a pet store.  Yet, I feel she was too young to go...


I've been thinking quite a bit about this.  Have you thought of setting up a shrine for Alice?  What if you find some place in the house/apartment, like the top of a dresser or a coffee table or some other such place and put up a picture or pictures of Alice?  You could add her favorite toys, some of her favorite things and such and maybe even a candle, anything you think that would honor her, her love for you and your love for her.  During the moments of sadness or tribute you could light the candle and pour your heart into hers, knowing that her spirit is there with you, loving you in return.  I did that after my boyfriend Gary died.  It helped ease it a bit.  Love is love.


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## Pinky (Aug 30, 2020)

Phoenix said:


> I've been thinking quite a bit about this.  Have you thought of setting up a shrine for Alice?  What if you find some place in the house/apartment, like the top of a dresser or a coffee table or some other such place and put up a picture or pictures of Alice?  You could add her favorite toys, some of her favorite things and such and maybe even a candle, anything you think that would honor her, her love for you and your love for her.  During the moments of sadness or tribute you could light the candle and pour your heart into hers, knowing that her spirit is there with you, loving you in return.  I did that after my boyfriend Gary died.  It helped ease it a bit.  Love is love.


I have photos of our last lab, Mackie, his ginger jar urn with ashes, rawhide shoe and his collar on a little table in the bedroom for years. He and his predecessor, Moe, come to me in dreams, often. When they passed, I always kept a photo and fresh flowers in a vase on the living room table. It somehow comforted me.


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## Phoenix (Aug 30, 2020)

Pinky said:


> I have photos of our last lab, Mackie, his ginger jar urn with ashes, rawhide shoe and his collar on a little table in the bedroom for years. He and his predecessor, Moe, come to me in dreams, often. When they passed, I always kept a photo and fresh flowers in a vase on the living room table. It somehow comforted me.


It's amazing how it can help.


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## Ruthanne (Aug 30, 2020)

Phoenix said:


> I've been thinking quite a bit about this.  Have you thought of setting up a shrine for Alice?  What if you find some place in the house/apartment, like the top of a dresser or a coffee table or some other such place and put up a picture or pictures of Alice?  You could add her favorite toys, some of her favorite things and such and maybe even a candle, anything you think that would honor her, her love for you and your love for her.  During the moments of sadness or tribute you could light the candle and pour your heart into hers, knowing that her spirit is there with you, loving you in return.  I did that after my boyfriend Gary died.  It helped ease it a bit.  Love is love.


Thank you for your lovely ideas and I will think about them for sure.  I am feeling very down right now so I will have to do those things later.


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## Phoenix (Aug 30, 2020)

Ruthanne said:


> Thank you for your lovely ideas and I will think about them for sure.  I am feeling very down right now so I will have to do those things later.


No hurry.  Do it only as you are willing and able.  Know that my heart is with you during this time of sadness.


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## hiraeth2018 (Aug 30, 2020)

So sorry for your loss... sometimes our pets last longer than anyone else by our side. Most of us are very heartbroken when the end come. Never feel like you are alone in grieving. I lost my dog who was just over 18 years just before Christmas last year and have a cat who is now around 20 so I know what's down the road for us. Unconditional love... it's a blessing.


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## Ruthanne (Aug 30, 2020)

hiraeth2018 said:


> So sorry for your loss... sometimes our pets last longer than anyone else by our side. Most of us are very heartbroken when the end come. Never feel like you are alone in grieving. I lost my dog who was just over 18 years just before Christmas last year and have a cat who is now around 20 so I know what's down the road for us. Unconditional love... it's a blessing.


I'm sorry for your loss too.


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## Ruthanne (Aug 30, 2020)

It helps my grieving to post pictures, here is Alice and her mate Danny Boy who also passed 3 years ago:


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## Phoenix (Aug 30, 2020)

Ruthanne said:


> It helps my grieving to post pictures, here is Alice and her mate Danny Boy who also passed 3 years ago:
> 
> View attachment 120505


Since that works, go for it.  They are lovely birds.  You can think of them back together again now.


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## Ruthanne (Aug 30, 2020)




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## Ruthanne (Aug 31, 2020)

I feel like @#%^ for not doing better with Alice's care!This pandemic has something to do with it, too, along with other factors.  I did, however, give her 3 treatments to try and save her and after one she seemed somewhat better then went downhill.  I had a Vet appointment but she didn't make it till that time!  It was so far away, too, and I didn't trust the Vets. out there after my experiences with them..my other birds died after seeing them.  I should have gotten an appointment sooner....I am crap.


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## Ruthanne (Aug 31, 2020)

I don't deserve any sympathy, it's all my fault.


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## Phoenix (Aug 31, 2020)

Ruthanne said:


> I don't deserve any sympathy, it's all my fault.


No, it was not your fault.  You did the best you could have.  Please don't feel guilty.  Guilt is one of the responses to death - the five stages.  We can "if only" ourselves until we are blue in the face.  You love her.  She knew that.  She knew that.  She still does.  You need to love yourself now. You are worth it.


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## Pinky (Aug 31, 2020)

Ruthanne said:


> I feel like @#%^ for not doing better with Alice's care!This pandemic has something to do with it, too, along with other factors. I did, however, give her 3 treatments to try and save her and after one she seemed somewhat better then went downhill. I had a Vet appointment but she didn't make it till that time! It was so far away, too, and I didn't trust the Vets. out there after my experiences with them..my other birds died after seeing them. I should have gotten an appointment sooner....I am crap.


My sister and nephew have had birds all their lives. Sometimes, it is very difficult to save them, even under veterinary care. They are delicate. 

We all go through the guilt feelings, but have to come to terms with the fact that it was simply time for them to go.

They were both such pretty birds. 

 Don't be so hard on yourself. Hugs.


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## Pepper (Aug 31, 2020)

Ruthanne said:


> I don't deserve any sympathy, it's all my fault.


Stop it.  The worst thing about loving a parakeet is how short they live, how fragile they are.


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## Kaila (Sep 6, 2020)

I too, like your other friends here, wish I could help you to feel less guilt , Ruth.  
I hope it was a temporary emotional feeling, you were having that day, that has now gone away, or will very soon.

You did everything you could think of, every day, to give her a good home, a good life, many pleasures, lots of attention, and excellent care, to the very best of your abilities.

It's true that birds are very fragile , and their passing leaves us feeling shocked and grieving.


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## Treacle (Sep 6, 2020)

My heart goes out to you Ruth. Don't know if this is useful : www. letstalkbirds.com/pet-bird-loss-grief/   I would type it in as it is written here so you can go straight to that page rather than other info. on that site if you decide to.  Hope you don't mind Ruth,  I just feel for your loss. 
The pictures are beautiful.


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## Ruthanne (Sep 6, 2020)

Phoenix said:


> No, it was not your fault.  You did the best you could have.  Please don't feel guilty.  Guilt is one of the responses to death - the five stages.  We can "if only" ourselves until we are blue in the face.  You love her.  She knew that.  She knew that.  She still does.  You need to love yourself now. You are worth it.


Thank you for your very thoughtful reply.  I am not feeling as bad now but I do feel I failed her, I should have found a way to get to the far a way Vet and sooner.  I guess I will just have to live with that.


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## Ruthanne (Sep 6, 2020)

Treacle said:


> My heart goes out to you Ruth. Don't know if this is useful : www. letstalkbirds.com/pet-bird-loss-grief/   I would type it in as it is written here so you can go straight to that page rather than other info. on that site if you decide to.  Hope you don't mind Ruth,  I just feel for your loss.
> The pictures are beautiful.


Thank you.


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## Ruthanne (Sep 6, 2020)

Kaila said:


> I too, like your other friends here, wish I could help you to feel less guilt , Ruth.
> I hope it was a temporary emotional feeling, you were having that day, that has now gone away, or will very soon.
> 
> You did everything you could think of, every day, to give her a good home, a good life, many pleasures, lots of attention, and excellent care, to the very best of your abilities.
> ...


Thank you @Kaila.  I appreciate your ever present concern.


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## Ruthanne (Sep 6, 2020)

Pepper said:


> Stop it.  The worst thing about loving a parakeet is how short they live, how fragile they are.


Yes, that is the worst thing and it totally sucks!  I've lost so many over the past 20 years and can't take it any more.


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## Ruthanne (Sep 6, 2020)

Pinky said:


> My sister and nephew have had birds all their lives. Sometimes, it is very difficult to save them, even under veterinary care. They are delicate.
> 
> We all go through the guilt feelings, but have to come to terms with the fact that it was simply time for them to go.
> 
> ...


Thanks @Pinky So true.  We all are harder on ourselves than anyone else.


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## Phoenix (Sep 6, 2020)

My heart and thoughts are with you Ruthanne.


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## Ruthanne (Sep 6, 2020)

Phoenix said:


> My heart and thoughts are with you Ruthanne.


Thank you @Phoenix The hardest part is that at her last hour I watched the agony and death and I keep seeing it in my mind.


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## Phoenix (Sep 6, 2020)

That is so hard.  I watched my old cat die in agony.  It slices the soul.


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## Ruthanne (Sep 6, 2020)

Phoenix said:


> That is so hard.  I watched my old cat die in agony.  It slices the soul.


Yes it certainly does.


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## Phoenix (Sep 7, 2020)

Hugs to you Ruthanne.


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## RadishRose (Sep 7, 2020)

@Ruthanne, would you consider getting a Cockatiel? They are so cute and affectionate. They can live a long time, unlike parakeets, and are roughly the same size.

Just a thought.....


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## Phoenix (Sep 7, 2020)

RadishRose said:


> @Ruthanne, would you consider getting a Cockatiel? They are so cute and affectionate. They can live a long time, unlike parakeets, and are roughly the same size.
> 
> Just a thought.....


In some ways this is a good idea...kind and thoughtful on your part RadishRose.  But a replacement cannot take the place of the dear being that has passed.  It does not take away the pain.  To me an animal pet is a person.  No one person can take the place of another.


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## Ruthanne (Sep 7, 2020)

RadishRose said:


> @Ruthanne, would you consider getting a Cockatiel? They are so cute and affectionate. They can live a long time, unlike parakeets, and are roughly the same size.
> 
> Just a thought.....


I have to think about that but thank you for the suggestion.


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## Phoenix (Sep 22, 2020)

Ruthanne said:


> I have to think about that but thank you for the suggestion.


How you doing with your loss?  Yesterday I had a huge attack of missing my cat Lucy.  Sometimes it comes in waves.


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## Ruthanne (Oct 13, 2020)

Phoenix said:


> How you doing with your loss?  Yesterday I had a huge attack of missing my cat Lucy.  Sometimes it comes in waves.


I miss Alice very much, been looking at pictures of her.


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## Phoenix (Oct 13, 2020)

Looking at pictures helps me too.  One of the things I did was to use a picture Lucy and her deceased sister together for my wallpaper on my desktop screen.  Everyday I open  my computer and see them there in front of me.  It's sort of like they are with me that way.  Maybe you could try it.


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## Ruthanne (Oct 14, 2020)

Phoenix said:


> Looking at pictures helps me too.  One of the things I did was to use a picture Lucy and her deceased sister together for my wallpaper on my desktop screen.  Everyday I open  my computer and see them there in front of me.  It's sort of like they are with me that way.  Maybe you could try it.


I like that idea but my computer screen is open at all times and I'm not ready yet to have her on there at all times.  I take my peaks at her now on my phone pictures and in my desktop computer at times.  I may put her up there permanently one day on the screen but just not ready yet.


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## Phoenix (Oct 14, 2020)

To me it's easier seeing them there, than not seeing them at all.


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## Ruthanne (Oct 14, 2020)

Phoenix said:


> To me it's easier seeing them there, than not seeing them at all.


But I would like to see her where she used to be in her little home with Jasmine so that makes it hard for me right now.


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## Phoenix (Oct 14, 2020)

Ruthanne said:


> But I would like to see her where she used to be in her little home with Jasmine so that makes it hard for me right now.


We each have to do it in the way that works for us.


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## Ruthanne (Oct 14, 2020)

Phoenix said:


> We each have to do it in the way that works for us.


I agree.


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## Sliverfox (Oct 29, 2020)

Our beloved Boston Terrier  died this week.
She was 12 yrs old,,my heart aches so much.
I see her in the house , in the yard,,,must be her ghost saying 'good-bye'?

Was surprised when hubby  suggested we get another  dog.
Been looking online  for  an older  dog.

Looking at puppies too, at 78 do I want to start training another young dog?
Winter might be good time to  train a dog , would keep us  busy  during  virus shut downs.


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## Keesha (Oct 29, 2020)

I’m so sorry for your loss Sliverfox
Getting another dog is a good idea.
We downsized our dogs so they’d be easier to care for and they are. It’s a tough transition but it’s easier than no dog, in my opinion. Loss of dogs has been my biggest loss so far. Wishing you the best of luck. Treat yourself extra kind.


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## Treacle (Oct 29, 2020)

So so sorry for your loss @Sliverfox. My Austrian friends just lost their dog, also of 12 years,  quite recently. They  now have a 3month old  puppy. They are in their  late 70s and just felt the need to provide a home for a rescue puppy and felt that it would help them in keeping  fit (they said they wanted the new puppy 'Sunny' to be active- and he is !!). He is a small dog so manageable for them. They also wanted a 'companion' during these really difficult times. They obviously miss 'Kitty'  but 'Sunny' will perhaps ease the pain a little. Provisions have been made with the family should anything happen to them. So 'Sunny' will stay as the family dog. 
When the time is right you will make the right decision.


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## Ruthanne (Oct 29, 2020)

I'm very sorry for your loss @Sliverfox .


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## Sliverfox (Oct 29, 2020)

Thank you ,,ladies.


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## RadishRose (Oct 29, 2020)

Sliverfox said:


> Our beloved Boston Terrier  died this week.
> She was 12 yrs old,,my heart aches so much.
> I see her in the house , in the yard,,,must be her ghost saying 'good-bye'?
> 
> ...


Oh dear Sliverfox, I'm so very sorry your dog has passed! I hope you and your husband will heal quickly, although I know your hearts just ache right now.

I love the Bostons. Hopefully, you will adopt another when the time is right. Until then, my prayers for comfort are offered.  ♥


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## Sliverfox (Oct 30, 2020)

Thank you, so much RadishRose.

We've had Bostons all our married life.
This one  was not hyper or energetic, stubborn ,, yes aren't they all?

Looking online have found a few under thousand  dollars.
The kennel website  didn't  give  location, state, etc.
Which made me look closer.

Be side puppy pictures were  blocks to click to buy.
I am not  buying any animal sight unseen!


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## RadishRose (Oct 30, 2020)

Sliverfox said:


> Be side puppy pictures were blocks to click to buy.
> I am not buying any animal sight unseen!


Certainly not! 
Good luck in your search.


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