# Holiday Parties



## Cookie (Dec 12, 2014)

How do you like holiday parties - do you dread them or love them?  As I get older I find it more challenging getting dressed up and meeting new people and chatting up strangers.  How do you deal with them?  Here's an article in the Guardian that I found very relevant and entertaining.

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2014/dec/12/christmas-parties-survival-guide


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## Vivjen (Dec 12, 2014)

I tend to go out, or in, with small groups of people, whom I know; often very well.
so I enjoy them; chance to catch up; and I like getting dressed up occasionally!


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## ClassicRockr (Dec 12, 2014)

We'd love to host a Holiday Party IF we lived in a bigger place and knew some married couples that liked what we like. We had one back in 2006, in the house we were buying in Colorado. Wife cooked up a nice ham and other things. Had quite the spread! She went to a Dollar Store and bought a few "game prizes" for a game everyone played. I had a cd of old tv themes and movie scores/themes that we made up questions about as we played each one. 
I remember one Holiday Party we went to, a co-worker of my wife invited us to. When we walked in, everyone in the dining area was talking sort of low with no music on. Well, in walks me and I say (sort of loudly) "I thought this was a party.....let's go!". So, the hosts put on some "rockin" Christmas music and people started talking a little louder. Later, the wife/host told me "sure glad you came and got this party going". I said, "my pleasure".

This year will attend two Christmas church programs/concerts. Have already been to one that was GREAT!

Oh, by the way, did I say we LOVE to "Party"! LOL (when the opportunity arises, that is).


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## Cookie (Dec 12, 2014)

I agree - music is an absolutely necessity to get any party off the ground, the idea is to have fun and relax.  You would make a welcome addition to any gathering. I live in a small place, so parties are out, although I've had a few in my time that were fun with plenty of food, drink and music, but it's been a while since I've been to anything resembling a 'party' party. It's been mostly dinner with a few friends.  My apartment building hosts a gathering that is more like a cocktail party without the cocktails - not too exciting but nice to chat with neighbors.


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## LogicsHere (Dec 13, 2014)

I've pretty much gone to all my company office parties, but always felt (and still do feel) uncomfortable when spouses or guests were/are allowed.  It makes me feel like the proverbial 5th wheel. I could never get into the conversations going on and I end up sitting around like a fool waiting for the appropriate time to leave.


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## jujube (Dec 13, 2014)

I went to my first office Christmas party when I was 18 and was working there part time my freshman year in college.  It was a mandatory event and you got your Christmas bonus handed to you at the party.  I was used to Christmas parties that were cookies and punch and a little smooching under the mistletoe.  This was a drunken affair in a hotel ballroom that culminated with the president's secretary (who he was boinking and everyone knew about it) standing on top of a grand piano showing off her Christmas panties to all and sundry.  I got my check and hightailed it out.  Every time I've seen a drunken office party scene in a movie since then, I think back to that eye-opening experience.  I laughed my head off at the scene in "Scrooged" where the receptionist(?) was Xeroxing her derriere and handing out copies to everyone because it reminded me of that party.  

I love Christmas parties a lot.  It does take a lot to shock me these days, though.


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## Falcon (Dec 13, 2014)

I can take 'em or leave 'em, as long as I don't get collared by some bore discussing politics.


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## Jackie22 (Dec 13, 2014)

Cookie said:


> How do you like holiday parties - do you dread them or love them?  As I get older I find it more challenging getting dressed up and meeting new people and chatting up strangers.  How do you deal with them?  Here's an article in the Guardian that I found very relevant and entertaining.
> 
> http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2014/dec/12/christmas-parties-survival-guide




Same here, Cookie, I'd rather stay home.


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## Cookie (Dec 13, 2014)

I usually feel like I'm in between a rock and a hard place when it comes to parties - I know it might cost me on different levels, yet I hate to miss out on the  'fun'.  At least if it's memorably strange or off the wall, we can entertain ourselves with funny stories about it later, so it's not a total loss.


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## RadishRose (Dec 15, 2014)

This joke is rather long, but I found it hilarious when I read through it all. Hope you will too.

[h=1]Company Holiday Party[/h]FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees RE: Christmas Party
DATE: December 1
RE: Christmas Party 
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the banquet room at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. No-host bar, but plenty of eggnog! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols...feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 P.M. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time, however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees! A special announcement will be made by our CEO at that time! Merry Christmas to you and your family.
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FROM: Patty Lewis, Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 2
RE: Holiday Party
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time. There will be no Christmas tree present. No Christmas carols sung. We will have other type of music for your enjoyment. Happy now? Happy Holidays to you and your family. Patty
*****************
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 3
RE: Holiday Party
Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table ... you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only"; you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody? 
Forget about the gifts exchange - no gift exchanges are allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and executives believe $10.00 is very little for a gift.
NO GIFT EXCHANGES WILL BE ALLOWED.
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FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 7
RE: Holiday Party
What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20 begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps Luigi's can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party-the days are so short this time of year-or else package everything for take home in little foil swans. Will that work? Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men, each will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men's table. To the person asking permission to cross dress, no cross dressing allowed though. We will have booster seats for short people. Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food - we suggest for those people with high blood problems to taste first. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics, the restaurant cannot supply "No Sugar" desserts.
Sorry! Did I miss anything?
Patty
******************
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 8
RE: Holiday Party
So December 22 marks the Winter Solstice...what do you expect me to do, a tap-dance on your heads? [COLOR=#009900 !important][COLOR=#009900 !important]Fire [COLOR=#009900 !important]regulations[/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR] at Luigi's prohibit the burning of sage by our "earth-based Goddess-worshiping" employees, but we'll try to accommodate your shamanic drumming circle during the band's breaks.
Okay???
Patty
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FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 9
RE: Holiday Party
People, people, nothing sinister was intended by having our CEO dress up like Santa Claus! Even if the anagram of "Santa" does happen to be "Satan," there is no evil connotation to our own "little man in a red suit." It's a tradition, folks, like sugar shock at Halloween or family feuds over the thanksgiving turkey or broken hearts on Valentine's Day.
Could we lighten up?
Please?????????
Also the company has changed their mind in announcing the special announcement at the gathering. You will get a notification in the mail sent to your home.
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FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All #%&$**@ Employees
DATE: December 10
RE: The %#*&^%@*%^Holiday Party
I have no #%&*@*^ idea what the announcement is all about. What the %#&^!@ do I care...I KNOW WHAT I AM GOING TO GET!!!!!!!!!!!! You change your address now and your are dead!!!!!!!!!!!!
No more changes of address will be allowed in my office. Try to come in and change your address, I will have you hung from the ceiling in the warehouse!!!!!!!!!!!
Vegetarians!?!?!? I've had it with you people!!!
We're going to keep this party at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your #$%^&*! salad bar, including hydroponic tomatoes. But you know, they have feelings, too. Tomatoes scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right now! HA! I hope you all have a rotten holiday!
Drive drunk and die you hear me!!!!!!!!!!
The Bitch from HELL!!!!!!!!
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FROM: Terri Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: December 14
RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party
I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery from her stress-related illness and I'll continue to forward your cards to her at the sanitarium. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay. Happy Holidays!​


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## AprilT (Dec 15, 2014)

Good one RadisRose.

I've not rsvp to any parties this year, can't take another 60's 70's themed band.


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