# What did you try to tell your children was most important?



## grahamg (Sep 11, 2020)

Did you tell your child to put their own interests first, or did you try to emphasise putting the interests of others before your own sometimes?

My father told all his seven children, "Its every man for himself in this world"!

My mother told me she thought life was about survival, ahead of love even.

I'm not sure I remember exactly what I told my daughter, but I did have the thought in mind I'd like her to consider others as well as herself.  .


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## Pepper (Sep 11, 2020)

My instructions were simple, and were fulfilled.  I told my son from the time he was little not to be in a job he hated; to make sure it provided enough money not to be broke; and most of all, to find a partner he loved and trusted.

Mission accomplished.


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## Camper6 (Sep 11, 2020)

Yes.  Never to be in a job you hate.  That's hell on earth.  

Never go anywhere without money.


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## Lewkat (Sep 11, 2020)

I drilled my son with, "always be a cut above."  He has done well in that respect.


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## JaniceM (Sep 12, 2020)

grahamg said:


> Did you tell your child to put their own interests first, or did you try to emphasise putting the interests of others before your own sometimes?
> 
> My father told all his seven children, "Its every man for himself in this world"!
> 
> ...


Sounds like you took a much better approach than both of your parents.


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## Aunt Marg (Sep 12, 2020)

grahamg said:


> Did you tell your child to put their own interests first, or did you try to emphasise putting the interests of others before your own sometimes?
> 
> My father told all his seven children, "Its every man for himself in this world"!
> 
> ...


We led by example for the most part, and the rest we hoped the children picked-up on through our subtle and sometimes direct guidance.

We were always there for our kids, and I believe they grew to become good people.

It's a balancing act, teaching them to look out for themselves, but not to the point of becoming self-centred/self-serving and non-caring.


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## grahamg (Sep 13, 2020)

JaniceM said:


> Sounds like you took a much better approach than both of your parents.


I wouldn't knock my parents approach to the matter at all, no siree, I'd say no one should ignore their words or warnings in their/your own lives, wherever you live.
You should have met them, listened to their views on life, and as my dad used to say, "Getting away with it in life", was important too, and pretty much they did just that together, facing all the troubles that came forth in life with fortitude and not a little humour. My dad may have told his children, " Its every man for himself", but didn't act that way though, as far as we were concerned.


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## grahamg (Sep 13, 2020)

As this thread seems to be waning we could perhaps turn it into our best guess as to the most important thing a famous person might have advised their children about?

The first thought coming to my mind was the saying attributed to Groucho Marx, "Never give a sucker an even break", (or was that W.C.Fields?   ).


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## Gaer (Sep 13, 2020)

Since their father was no influence or a negative influence, I had to show them how to behave, not tell them.  I did tell them to not be afraid to stand alone in their beliefs, to try to affect the quality of the day in the most positive ways, don't be afraid to take risks, keep the highest thoughts.
It hurt me very much that I couldn't pay for their higher educations but they did it themselves!  They turned out so wonderful!  
They tell me I'm the coolest Mom ever, so I guess I influenced them a little!


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## Phoenix (Sep 13, 2020)

I told my furry children to please not put their backsides over the edge of the litter box when they did their business.


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## Aunt Marg (Sep 13, 2020)

Phoenix said:


> I told my furry children to please not put their backsides over the edge of the litter box when they did their business.


Yeah, but Phoenix, did you finish off your advice to them with the words... _or else_?


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## Phoenix (Sep 13, 2020)

Aunt Marg said:


> Yeah, but Phoenix, did you finish off your advice to them with the words... _or else_?


I repostioned them in the box and then got a bigger box.  It worked most of the time, until they got old, and I had to put them in the box myself.


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## Aunt Marg (Sep 13, 2020)

Phoenix said:


> I repostioned them in the box and then got a bigger box.  It worked most of the time, until they got old, and I had to put them in the box myself.


Had you laid the law down with... "_or else_", you would have never had a problem ever again. LOL!


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## Phoenix (Sep 13, 2020)

Aunt Marg said:


> Had you laid the law down with... "_or else_", you would have never had a problem ever again. LOL!


Oh, sure.  That works with furry children, every time.


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## Aunt Marg (Sep 13, 2020)

Phoenix said:


> Oh, sure.  That works with furry children, every time.


Believe it or not, I used to think it worked with real kids! ROFL!


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## Phoenix (Sep 13, 2020)

Aunt Marg said:


> Believe it or not, I used to think it worked with real kids! ROFL!


I bow to your brilliant parenting skills.


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## Aunt Marg (Sep 13, 2020)

Phoenix said:


> I bow to your brilliant parenting skills.


I didn't say I had any success with it, I just said I tried it.


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## grahamg (Sep 13, 2020)

Aunt Marg said:


> I didn't say I had any success with it, I just said I tried it.


Quote:"I used to think it worked with real kids",(?), ........doesn't mean you had any success with it, simply that you were utterly deceiving yourself as to whether it worked?    .

What would W.C.Fields have made of that I wonder(?).   .

My mum used the rub their noses in it and then chuck them outside routine not favoured so much nowadays, but the dog caught on pretty quick I have to say, (the smart boy literally opening a window by biting the frame near the catches, so keen was Lassie not to make a mess on the floor !    ).


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## grahamg (Sep 13, 2020)

Gaer said:


> Since their father was no influence or a negative influence, I had to show them how to behave, not tell them.  I did tell them to not be afraid to stand alone in their beliefs, to try to affect the quality of the day in the most positive ways, don't be afraid to take risks, keep the highest thoughts.
> It hurt me very much that I couldn't pay for their higher educations but they did it themselves!  They turned out so wonderful!
> They tell me I'm the coolest Mom ever, so I guess I influenced them a little!


Out of those things you did list as having said to your children which one was most important, or said most often?
At least, whatever else he was, your husband left the field open so far as influencing, and heightened your sense you needed to be a good role model perhaps.   .


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## fuzzybuddy (Sep 14, 2020)

Don't get caught.


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## fancicoffee13 (Sep 15, 2020)

Love, forgive, take one day at a time, stay in church, work hard, take care of your family, and do unto others as you would have them do unto you (in a positive way).  Things like that.  I also think listening more than talking is important, giving to the poor also.


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## Ellen Marie (Sep 15, 2020)

1) Salvation.    2) Raise your children in the church, it will mold them where you cannot.   3)  I am the boss, but when you go to college, you must go away to college to grow up and be away from my domination.   

1)  Both my children, two inlaws, and seven grandchildren are in church almost every service.  Four grandchildren have been baptized, six have a profession of faith.  
2)  My children and grandchildren have a kindness I could never teach them.  And, they are servants, yet leaders.  One teaches in private, Christian school, the other is a supervisor where they work.  Both set good examples of citizenship, and they work in their local churches, as do their spouses.
3)  They went away to college.... and never moved back.... I wish they lived closer, but they live where they want to be and work.  

They are good parents.... They teach their children   1) salvation..... 2) Raise your children in the church.   3)   I am the boss, but don't move away from me.


lol....


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## grahamg (Sep 16, 2020)

fancicoffee13 said:


> Love, forgive, take one day at a time, stay in church, work hard, take care of your family, and do unto others as you would have them do unto you (in a positive way).  Things like that.  I also think listening more than talking is important, giving to the poor also.


Are your list of things you've tried to instill in your children in the order of importance as you see it, or are all equally important would you say, (if it is in some kind of order I'd suggest its a pretty good one!)?


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## grahamg (Sep 16, 2020)

Ellen Marie wrote:

_"1) Salvation. 2) Raise your children in the church, it will mold them where you cannot. 3) I am the boss, but when you go to college, you must go away to college to grow up and be away from my domination.

1) Both my children, two inlaws, and seven grandchildren are in church almost every service. Four grandchildren have been baptized, six have a profession of faith.
2) My children and grandchildren have a kindness I could never teach them. And, they are servants, yet leaders. One teaches in private, Christian school, the other is a supervisor where they work. Both set good examples of citizenship, and they work in their local churches, as do their spouses.
3) They went away to college.... and never moved back.... I wish they lived closer, but they live where they want to be and work.

They are good parents.... They teach their children 1) salvation..... 2) Raise your children in the church. 3) I am the boss, but don't move away from me."_

Grahamg's comments:
Once again are your list of things in any order of importance as you see it?
(Good list again ! )


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## fancicoffee13 (Sep 16, 2020)

grahamg said:


> Are your list of things you've tried to instill in your children in the order of importance as you see it, or are all equally important would you say, (if it is in some kind of order I'd suggest its a pretty good one!)?


I would say they are in the right order of importance.


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## Ellen Marie (Sep 16, 2020)

grahamg said:


> Grahamg's comments:
> Once again are your list of things in any order of importance as you see it?
> (Good list again ! )



*Ecclesiastes 4:12*

“And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”  I feel that raising children, any time, it is a combination of home, school, and church.


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## grahamg (Sep 16, 2020)

Ellen Marie wrote:

_"1) Salvation. 2) Raise your children in the church, it will mold them where you cannot. 3) I am the boss, but when you go to college, you must go away to college to grow up and be away from my domination.

1) Both my children, two inlaws, and seven grandchildren are in church almost every service. Four grandchildren have been baptized, six have a profession of faith.
2) My children and grandchildren have a kindness I could never teach them. And, they are servants, yet leaders. One teaches in private, Christian school, the other is a supervisor where they work. Both set good examples of citizenship, and they work in their local churches, as do their spouses.
3) They went away to college.... and never moved back.... I wish they lived closer, but they live where they want to be and work.

They are good parents.... They teach their children 1) salvation..... 2) Raise your children in the church. 3) I am the boss, but don't move away from me."_

Grahamg's comments:
Once again are your list of things in any order of importance as you see it?
(Good list again ! )

Ellen Marie wrote:
*Ecclesiastes 4:12*

_“And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”  

I feel that raising children, any time, it is a combination of home, school, and church._


Grahamg's further comments:
Hard to pick one out then, but the religious quote maybe emphasises the importance in the child's upbringing in your view perhaps   (?)


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## fancicoffee13 (Sep 17, 2020)

Ellen Marie said:


> *Ecclesiastes 4:12*
> 
> “And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”  I feel that raising children, any time, it is a combination of home, school, and church.


So very true!  Those seeds are not easily forgotten.


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## grahamg (Sep 18, 2020)

fancicoffee13 said:


> So very true!  Those seeds are not easily forgotten.



Another interpretation of  *Ecclesiastes 4:12* :

"An enemy might defeat one person, but two people together can defend themselves; a rope that is woven of three strings is hard to break."


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## Sassycakes (Oct 3, 2020)

*I tried to teach my children to always be honest and show respect. They both in my eyes turned out perfect.*


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## grahamg (Oct 3, 2020)

Sassycakes said:


> *I tried to teach my children to always be honest and show respect. They both in my eyes turned out perfect.*


"Like yourself in your mothers eyes", (or my daughter pretty much in my eyes, or even myself in my mothers eyes, in the sense she wouldn't have wanted to change me).    .


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