# 10 Things You Shouldn't Do After 50



## SifuPhil (Mar 9, 2013)

Though I pride myself on being in pretty good mental, physical and emotional shape for someone who has passed the half-century mark, I realize that there are certain things I _used_ to do that I should no longer attempt.

These have all been personally field-tested for do-ability within the last 5 years, so I have included explanatory notes when needed. 



Drinking Champagne from your Girlfriend's Shoe - the taste of Lotrimin spoils ANY vintage of champagne 
Mooning People from a Moving Vehicle - remarks of "_Look! Their air-bags have deployed!_" tends to douse enthusiasm 
_Ménage_ à _Trois - _it's confusing enough with just one 
Eating Three Large Pepperoni Pizzas at One Sitting - the ol' stomach and gallbladder just ain't what they used to be 
Your Partner is Half your Age - Heart-Attack City, here I come! 
"Hey, watch this!" 
(in a single's bar) - "Would you like to see the results of my last proctology exam?" 
Body shots 
Doing the Harlem Shake 
X-treme sports 


Feel free to add to the list ...


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## annagoryun (Apr 11, 2013)

Let your underwear show under your jeans, put up posters of your favorite stars on your wall, get obsessed with video games, wait for the next pay  check to make ends meet, be financially insecure.


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## Pricklypear (Apr 12, 2013)

Take on debt.  
Go bra-less in public.


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## SifuPhil (Apr 12, 2013)

* Try to be "street" when you're really more "avenue"
* Try to interpret MTV
* Hide a _Playboy_ inside your _Wall Street Journal_


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## HiDesertHal (Jan 28, 2018)

I guess you've heard of the safety-minded truck driver who pulled out just in time to avoid a child?

Hal


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