# My heart is so very  broken....just got back from the vet.



## CindyLouWho (Jan 3, 2018)

I wasn't going to post anything but I'm in so much emotional pain, I just can't stop crying.There is nothing they can do for my best friend. I know there is nothing to really say or do, I just can't lose him, can't do this. I don't want to go through this. He's been my best friend for 13 years and 8 months. I'm so terrified to lose him. This just sucks beyond belief. I know what I would say to comfort someone else, but my own advice isn't cutting it right now.


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## Warrigal (Jan 3, 2018)

My daughter went through this last year when she had to say goodbye to a much loved member of the family named Precious. He certainly was well named. She grieved deeply. You will too.

For Christmas she received three silky hens and they are helping her to heal. She is besotted by them  and they like to be cuddled.

You too will find a time to heal but don't hurry the grieving process. Wounds take time to heal; so do broken hearts.


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## Marie5656 (Jan 3, 2018)

*It is difficult when we have to say good bye to a long time companion.  Hope these words will help you through this time:

*And God asked the canine spirit Are you ready to come home? I believe so, replied the precious soul My toys and bones can remain As a reminder of love and dedication 

Can you come then?  asked God Soon, replied the tail-wagging angel But I must come slowly For my human companions are troubled For you see, I am their best friend 

But don’t they understand? asked God That you’ll never leave them? That your souls are intertwined.  For all eternity? That nothing is created or destroyed? It just is…forever and ever and ever 

Eventually they will understand, Replied the glorious dog For I will whisper gently into their hearts That I am always with them I just am…forever and ever and ever


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## hollydolly (Jan 3, 2018)

Oh I'm so sorry for you Lindylou.... my daughter lost 2 last year  in the space of 18 months and was horribly  upset , and 2 more of her dogs have been given a terminal diagnosis by the vet this year , because they are all so old and now sick..although not in more pain than the drugs can manage ..

Nothing eases the racking  pain of losing a constant companion and dear loyal member of the family, you can only spend as much quality time with him, and make the best memories with him until he leaves on his last journey to over the Rainbow bridge....and although you won't hear of it now, nothing takes the grief away faster than a new pet... you never forget , but it really works.


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## Olivia (Jan 3, 2018)

I'm so very sorry. I just don't get why they have such short lives. Just plain wrong! One of my dogs did live to 17 years (mixed mutt) and the last year I had to carry him around and he loved that. Shortly after he passed away, he visited me in a very real feeling dream.  I was kneeling down and he ran to me from across the yard. He was no longer skinny but was full of life. He jumped into my arms where he slowly left. I think he knew how devastated I felt and just wanted me to know he was okay and would be waiting for me. I absolutely believe they will be there for us when we pass ourselves.


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## hearlady (Jan 3, 2018)

So sorry Cindylou. It is so hard to lose a pet. 
We lost our 14 yr old terrier. It was very hard.
My condolences....


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## RadishRose (Jan 3, 2018)

Oh, ((( Cindy ))).

May you be comforted soon. 

We all know they're going to leave us, but somehow we never believe it. 

Take heart in Marie's post.


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## Falcon (Jan 3, 2018)

So sorry !   I know exactly how you feel.  We pet lovers  have to go through this at one time or other,

No matter WHAT kind of pet it is..........even if it's a little  tiny mouse.


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## SeaBreeze (Jan 3, 2018)

I'm very sorry CindyLou, hugs.  Do you still have him home with you, or have you already said your last goodbye to him?  What kind of a dog is he, and what is his name?


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## Ruth n Jersey (Jan 3, 2018)

I'm so sorry. There are no words that can bring comfort at a time like this.


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## Gary O' (Jan 3, 2018)

CindyLouWho said:


> I wasn't going to post anything but I'm in so much emotional pain, I just can't stop crying.There is nothing they can do for my best friend. I know there is nothing to really say or do, I just can't lose him, can't do this. I don't want to go through this. He's been my best friend for 13 years and 8 months. I'm so terrified to lose him. This just sucks beyond belief. I know what I would say to comfort someone else, but my own advice isn't cutting it right now.



Make him as comfortable as possible
Hold him as much as you can (for both of you)

If he’s in great pain or obvious misery
You’ll need to have him put to sleep
In yer arms

I did this
Many years ago now

It was the sweetest of sorrows

You’ll never regret how you handled this regretful event


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## Gary O' (Jan 3, 2018)

thought sure I'd posted this somewhere in the forum

if so
forgive me

it begat the rhyme I created on the previous post

*I’ll Never Forget My Best Friend*

I was three.
He was a few months.
Neither of us had much to play with….but each other.
We never lacked.
He’d look up at me with complete unwavering trust.
Trying to read my face.
Ears perked up when I spoke.
Wherever I went, he followed.
He rapidly grew, and soon we were face high to each other.
We’d roam the patch of woods up the hill from our place, him guarding my every step, sometimes blocking my way when I got too close to the cliff edge. I didn’t know it at the time.
I’d take my naps nestled into his chest. 
He’d lie there, never moving a muscle.

As I grew to boyhood, he remained a part of me, my shadow.
We’d wrestle….he’d let me win.

We’d hunt.

We’d fish.

Not that he took part. 
He was no hunting dog. 
Just my companion.
We’d share lunch.
He’d listen to my every word, as we sat on the creek bank.

Years passed.
I got very busy, but not so busy that we wouldn’t still roam the woods every so often, even though he had a bit of a time keeping up.

The day came when he just didn’t get up.
I was sixteen.
Mom told me to take him in to the vet. 
‘He’ll be able to fix him up.’

I gathered him up and laid him in the passenger’s seat of the pickup, right beside me, and we had one of our conversations while I drove the twenty miles. 
It had been awhile. 
Too long actually.


I sat on the stool beside the exam table, while the vet did his thing.
Once again my best friend and I were face high to each other.
The vet was talking with my mom.
He handed me the phone.
It was time. 
He had to be put to sleep.

OK, I brought him in to get fixed up, and now he’s going to be put down….just like that.

I was told I had to leave the room.

Like hell.

The vet did…..something. I don’t recall.

I held my bestfriend’s face with both hands.
His ears perked up as we had what would be our last conversation, telling him the reality.
Then I just cradled his head, holding it to my chest, not moving a muscle until, feeling his last breath against my heart, he went to sleep.

Even though the wipers were going, I had a hard time seeing through the raindrops on the way back home.




……..I’ll never forget my best friend


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## C'est Moi (Jan 3, 2018)

CindyLouWho said:


> I wasn't going to post anything but I'm in so much emotional pain, I just can't stop crying.There is nothing they can do for my best friend. I know there is nothing to really say or do, I just can't lose him, can't do this. I don't want to go through this. He's been my best friend for 13 years and 8 months. I'm so terrified to lose him. This just sucks beyond belief. I know what I would say to comfort someone else, but my own advice isn't cutting it right now.



My heart breaks for you, Cindy.  I know the pain and helplessness you are feeling and I wish something could be done to save your precious friend.   We lost our little dog, Harry, on May 26 and there has been a hole in my life since that day.   He was only 9 years old but had cancer and his kidneys failed a couple of days before he was scheduled for his tumor to be removed.   He was my little heart and I miss him so much.

I know that your pain is deep.   My heartfelt sympathy to you.


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## nvtribefan (Jan 3, 2018)

I'm so sorry.


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## Pappy (Jan 4, 2018)

So sorry Cindy. We lost our Sassy over 6 years ago and if I think about her it still brings tears to my eyes. It will get better as time passes.


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## Smiling Jane (Jan 4, 2018)

I'm sorry, Cindy. It's never easy to lose a pet.


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## Lara (Jan 4, 2018)

I feel for you cindylou and pray for you to be comforted. I'm without words because I know how hard this is. Peace and love be with you from friends and family.


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## KingsX (Jan 5, 2018)

Smiling Jane said:


> I'm sorry, Cindy. It's never easy to lose a pet.




It happened to me once.   Before I  had my own child, my baby was my cat.  
When he died I cried and cried for days.  Never again. I have never had another pet.

.


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## Bullie76 (Jan 5, 2018)

Always tough to lose a pet. My labx is 9 years old so I know his years are numbered. But he has given me a lot of good years of companionship as I hope I have for him. It won't be any fun when the day comes to say goodbye, but my quality of life has been far better with him.


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## AZ Jim (Jan 5, 2018)

I can only say I am so sorry.  I have been through this so many times in my 80+ years I don't have the heart to do it again.  I hope the best for you.


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## Big Horn (Jan 5, 2018)

CindyLouWho said:


> I wasn't going to post anything but I'm in so much emotional pain, I just can't stop crying.There is nothing they can do for my best friend. I know there is nothing to really say or do, I just can't lose him, can't do this. I don't want to go through this. He's been my best friend for 13 years and 8 months. I'm so terrified to lose him. This just sucks beyond belief. I know what I would say to comfort someone else, but my own advice isn't cutting it right now.


My heart goes out to you.  It's so hard to lose a loving and beloved pet.  Let yourself cry.


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## Shalimar (Jan 6, 2018)

Cindy, my heart breaks for you. This is the hell side of having pets. Grieve as you must for however long you must. Hugs.


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## Granny B. (Jan 6, 2018)

So sorry, Cindy.  I'm glad you decided to post because it's obvious you are surrounded here by other animal lovers who understand your sadness and loss.   Even though there will always be a special place in my heart for all my pets that have passed, Pappy is right, it does get better with some time.   My heart goes out to you.


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## CindyLouWho (Jan 7, 2018)

Thank you so very much for all your support and stories of your beloved pets, it really does help. My sweet Beagle is still hanging on, he is so incredibly strong. He has Liver cancer that has metastasized, an Enlarged heart and Bradycardia, his heart is only at 25%. I'm pretty tired with worry and keeping him comfortable but grateful he is hanging on. Like some of you wrote, we know when we get a pet that it's inevitable we will have to say goodbye at some point it doesn't make it any easier when that time does arrive. 
Thanks again for all you caring words:love_heart:


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## SeaBreeze (Jan 8, 2018)

It doesn't make it easier when it's time to say your final goodbye, hugs to you and your boy.


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## Gary O' (Jan 8, 2018)

CindyLouWho said:


> we will have to say goodbye at some point it doesn't make it any easier when that time does arrive.



Be strong
but
let the tears roll
they wash the emotions out, but leave the good memories


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## GypsyRoadLady (Jan 12, 2018)

I am sorry. I am now in tears after reading all the posts. I have four dogs, my old Beagle is my love too(love all, but you know). I tell her every night when she goes to bed how lucky I am to have found her or she found me.


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## Big Horn (Jan 12, 2018)

GypsyRoadLady said:


> I am sorry. I am now in tears after reading all the posts. I have four dogs, my old Beagle is my love too(love all, but you know). I tell her every night when she goes to bed how lucky I am to have found her or she found me.


I have one who's almost fourteen.  She's the first one I got (found) as a puppy in fifty years.  Every day when I get up I worry that she won't.  She sleeps until noon, sometimes later.


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## CindyLouWho (Jan 12, 2018)

I know how you feel, I am living with alot of anxiety day to day with his terminal condition right now. I keep checking to make sure he is still breathing. He sleeps so much now that I'm getting a glimpse of what it will feel like when he isn't here. I miss his energy and wanting to eat anything and everything. I'm thinking the silence will kill me, but like all the hurdles in life, guess we have to just push on through.


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## MarkinPhx (Jan 13, 2018)

I'm very sorry. It is very tough to lose a pet. Huge hugs from Arizona.


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## CindyLouWho (Jan 13, 2018)

Heartfelt thanks, Mark. I appreciate your kind words.


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## Toomuchstuff (Jan 15, 2018)

Oh Cindy...... I came here to post and saw this. My heart breaks for you . I wish I could reach through  the screen and hug you . I'd let you cry on my shoulder for as long as you wanted.  There's a piece of my heart gone,too. It's still raw.  There's nothing I can say that hasn't been said already.  I can tell you I thank God for people like you . I know you gave all your love to an animal,kept him safe and happy ,shared happy times together and was the best mom there ever was. There's a special place in heaven for you . I think I'll just go cry with you . (((((((Cindy)))))))))))


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## CindyLouWho (Jan 15, 2018)

Awww....toomuchstuff.....that's the sweetest reply ever!. How did you know I could use a :bighug: or two right now!

Yes, he is my first dog ever and just the best. We have shared many walks, talks and good moments over almost 14 years. He means more to me than words could ever express. He will be in my heart forever.


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## Toomuchstuff (Jan 15, 2018)

That was your first dog ?  No wonder you are so broken up. I hope his memory never fades and some day you can look back at the fun things you did and smile


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## Smiling Jane (Jan 18, 2018)

Yesterday I had to put down my baby, Sister Mary Tallulah. She was a Japanese bobtail, had many unique vocalizations and she was my entertainment. About two weeks ago I thought she seemed a little droopy and maybe a little skinnier than usual, but she was better the next day so I thought maybe she had a bad day. Yesterday it was obvious she was very sick and in pain. I couldn't watch her suffer.

Japanese bobtails have a life expectancy of 9 to 15 years, and she lived almost 20 years. She had a good long life and she always knew she was loved.

My heart is broken but I know I will get past this and be grateful she was in my life.


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## CindyLouWho (Jan 18, 2018)

Oh no, Jane, I'm so so sorry about your baby. My heart goes out to you ((((hugs)))).


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## Smiling Jane (Jan 18, 2018)

Thanks, Cindy.

How's your buddy doing? I had the greatest dog, a rescued smooth chow and the only protection dog I've ever had, who got hemangiosarcoma. He was already in so much pain when he was diagnosed that I had him put down right then. That form of cancer migrates to so many major organs, there was no hope at all. Sometimes I wish I had more time to say a long goodbye to him, like you're doing with your dog.

I was able to tell Tallulah all the things I wished I could have said to him. They were two of my favorite animals ever.


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## SeaBreeze (Jan 18, 2018)

Smiling Jane said:


> Yesterday I had to put down my baby, Sister Mary Tallulah. She was a Japanese bobtail, had many unique vocalizations and she was my entertainment.
> My heart is broken but I know I will get past this and be grateful she was in my life.



Jane, so sorry to hear you had to say goodbye to your girl...hugs.


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## CindyLouWho (Jan 18, 2018)

They sound so special, Jane. They were lucky, as you were, to have had them in your life. 

My sweet little Beagle is hanging in there, he is so strong. I'm kind of living on eggshells with him, I don't want to leave him alone.....sometimes when I watch him breathe his heart quivers with each breath in & out and I find myself holding my breath. Then he has the gastro issue from the liver cancer. I'm just keeping him as comfortable as I can and making sure he is not in pain.


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## RadishRose (Jan 18, 2018)

So sorry Jane.


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## C'est Moi (Jan 18, 2018)

So sorry to hear of your loss, Jane.   RIP precious little one.


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## Smiling Jane (Jan 18, 2018)

SeaBreeze said:


> Jane, so sorry to hear you had to say goodbye to your girl...hugs.



Thanks, Seabreeze. She was a great cat and a wonderful companion.


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## Smiling Jane (Jan 18, 2018)

Thanks, Radish Rose and C'est Moi. I told her I'll miss her until the end of my life. Sad but true. Good pets live on in our hearts and they never leave.


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## LindsayE (Jan 18, 2018)

I'm so so sorry to hear this. My heart breaks for you. I'm an animal lover myself with 6 cats and a dog. Losing a furbaby is the hardest thing. Remember you gave your furbaby many years of a wonderful life. That is what they will remember.


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## Big Horn (Jan 18, 2018)

It's so hard to lose the little innocent who gives you total love.  My heart goes out to you.


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## C'est Moi (Jan 18, 2018)

Smiling Jane said:


> Thanks, Radish Rose and C'est Moi. I told her I'll miss her until the end of my life. Sad but true. Good pets live on in our hearts and they never leave.



So true.  I lost my little dog last May and I miss him so very much.   Amazing how much of my day was consumed by that little fellow and now there is a hole in my heart and in my life.


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## Big Horn (Jan 18, 2018)

C'est Moi said:


> So true.  I lost my little dog last May and I miss him so very much.   Amazing how much of my day was consumed by that little fellow and now there is a hole in my heart and in my life.


That sums it up well.


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## Smiling Jane (Jan 18, 2018)

Thanks, LindsayE. I realized I've never lived with a person for 20 years, but I've lived that long with my two favorite cats. When my 22-year-old cat died, a friend brought this one to me and said she was my new cat. At the time I didn't think I was ready, but it worked well. 

Thanks, Big Horn. She was the difference between living alone and feeling alone.


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## Smiling Jane (Jan 18, 2018)

C'est Moi said:


> So true.  I lost my little dog last May and I miss him so very much.   Amazing how much of my day was consumed by that little fellow and now there is a hole in my heart and in my life.



Tallulah and a black male Japanese bobtail were found and turned into a rescue group where my friend was a volunteer. It didn't work out for me to take the male cat, but they found a young boy who wanted a cat and it was exactly right. They were almost full-grown but not quite.

I think they belonged to a breeder. The person who found them was afraid for them because they obviously didn't know about streets and danger. No idea how they got out or why they were wandering. Tallulah didn't know about things like snuggling when I got her and she always tried to go into the dog's crate with him when I went to work. We thought she had been crated and never got any affection. She sure took to it and became a truly great kitty snuggler. 

She's the only cat I've ever known whose vocalizations included a near-perfect imitation of Patsy Cline's throb. I was stunned the first time she made that sound.

This is the longest I've been on my desktop without her coming in and demanding that I quit fooling around and snuggle with her.


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## CindyLouWho (Jan 18, 2018)

Awww....sweet story Jane


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## C'est Moi (Jan 18, 2018)

Smiling Jane said:


> This is the longest I've been on my desktop without her coming in and demanding that I quit fooling around and snuggle with her.



Hugs to you, Jane.


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## JimW (Jan 25, 2018)

Sorry for your loss Cindy. It's always hard to say goodbye to our pets, they are a loyal member of the family.


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## CindyLouWho (Jan 25, 2018)

Thank you, Jim, he is hanging on still, thank God. Making the most of each day I still have left with him with. He's a real sweetie.


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## Smiling Jane (Jan 25, 2018)

Enjoy your time with him, Cindy.


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## mjmay (Jan 27, 2018)

Sorry for the terrible news. Best to you and your family


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## Big Horn (Jan 27, 2018)

He knows that you love him; that makes him feel better.


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## sortbreadlover (Mar 9, 2018)

i lost two dogs last year.  one to colon cancer and the other to diabetes.  it still hurts and i am just grateful that i had the courage to help them over the rainbow bridge.  . corkie left the day of the elclipse and as i left, the vet, i thought this is the angels helping him..


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## Marie5656 (Mar 9, 2018)

*​Hi Cindy...how is everything going with your buddy? *


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## CindyLouWho (Mar 9, 2018)

Hi Marie,

Well he is hanging in there with me. He's developed quite a cough which is probably associated with his enlarged heart. Liver tumor is quite large but doesn't seem to be getting any larger for now. He sleeps alot and his appetite for what he wants to eat keeps changing every couple weeks, so I'm trying to keep up with him to keep him nourished. Just taking it easy with him, and savoring my time with him. My vet is very surprised he is doing as well as he is, but he's loved & cared for like a child & I'm always kissing & hugging the heck out of him. Thanks for asking Marie.


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## Smiling Jane (Mar 9, 2018)

A friend said the reason my cats live as long as they do is they don't want to leave me.

I bet that's true for your beagle love too. Does he have hemangiosarcoma?


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