# Do You Fear Growing Old?



## SifuPhil (Dec 11, 2012)

Be honest, now - do you fear growing old? Are you afraid of ending up all alone in a nursing home? Are you fearful of contracting some old-age disease and suffering?

Or do you accept aging as a natural process, and participate joyfully in it depsite the occasional aches and pains? Do you look forward to aging gracefully and having time at last to do everything you always wanted to?

Psychologists have even given this fear its own name: Gerascophobia, or sometimes Gerontophobia - the fear of growing old. 

What say you?


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## Elzee (Dec 11, 2012)

I never thought of being the age I am now when I was younger. I am a junior senior, so to think of being a senior senior - I can picture it but try not to think that far ahead. The group of seniors that I hang out with are very lively and spry, despite some of them being a generation older than me. So, if I can remain as upbeat as they are, then I don't mind growing old.


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## SifuPhil (Dec 11, 2012)

Hmmm ... I wonder what those generation-older folks think about? I mean, you're good up until THEIR age; THEY'RE good up until ... ? 

Oh, well - I guess I'm also a "junior senior" (and that phrase probably wouldn't make sense to anyone who isn't one!), and I also haven't thought much about aging - I'm too busy living.


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## TWHRider (Dec 11, 2012)

SifuPhil said:


> Oh, well - I guess I'm also a "junior senior" (and that phrase probably wouldn't make sense to anyone who isn't one!), and I also haven't thought much about aging - I'm too busy living.



^^^^this


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## SeaBreeze (Dec 11, 2012)

I've been pretty lucky so far in my life as far as being sickly or suffering with pain.  I'm grateful just to be alive, as many have gone before me at much younger ages.   I'd probably contact a Dr. Kevorkian type though if I was doing too poorly.  I don't really fear it, but I think more now about how I would feel if something were to happen to my husband, he's a big part of the happiness in my life for around forty years now.  We both joke about how we'd rather be the first to go.

I'm a junior senior too, not quite sixty yet, hoping for a couple more decades of a pleasant life, but really don't dwell too much on the past or future...present is enough for me.


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## R. Zimm (Dec 29, 2012)

I think we tend to have different outlooks depending on if we are still working full time and in decent health. I hope to keep active mentally and physically for quite some time!


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## Ryder13 (Dec 31, 2012)

Well I am admittedly well aware of my mortality. 
What was that Bob Seegar song? Something about 18 and like a rock. Well I ain't eighteen anymore nor have I been for some time. I am well aware of my mortality and some of the obvious flaws that have crept into 'the system.' 
Nope not immortal and not a rock. But hangin' in.
Oh small add to, I guess I am full fledged senior, I hit and passed the 6 -0 mark a few years back. 

Ryder13


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## oldman (Jan 14, 2013)

The only thing I fear about of growing old is being diagnosed with some kind of horrible disease that will make me suffer for a long time before I die. I just want it to happen and be done with. I have seen a few of my friends go through a miserable death and it made me hurt for them. After their death, it would stay with me for quite a while. I can't think of anything worse than prolonged suffering before one dies.


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## Elzee (Jan 14, 2013)

It is not growing old that I fear. It's the aches and pains and going senile and slowing down and eyes getting dim and gray hair that I fear. But growing old doesn't bother me in the least. I hope to reach an age where I can show off how old I am - and I hope I can do that with a twinkle in my eye. Providing I can see well enough and hear well enough and my mind can comprehend the question - 'How old are you?'


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## Scientism (Jan 26, 2013)

To be 100% honest I do fear of growing old. I am afraid that I will never get to see my grandchildren! Just by the sounds of them saying, "Grandpa" makes me want to cry. Growing old will make more people pity me and look at me in a different way. This makes me sad, because I want them to look at me just like a teenager.


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## Rotem55 (Jan 27, 2013)

Yes alot.


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## pchinvegas (Jan 27, 2013)

I don't know that I'm afraid of growing old, it certainly sucks big time. I miss having the energy to do as much as I use to. I have always been healthy and active and continue to walk and enjoy exercise. 
If I had a fear it would be of getting to a point that I would not recognize my children and loved ones, that would be terrible. I am fortunate that I live with family and it has been a great to close to them and hopefully my health will continue to be good for another 20 years.
For the most part I have to say I am enjoying this time of my life. I am happier than ever, comfortable with who I am, more patient and compassionate than in my younger years and satisfied with where I am right now.


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## Pearl (Feb 21, 2013)

Well - I didn't know that fear of growing old was a recognised medical condition. Good job I'm not a hypochondriac !

No, I don't fear growing old - I've always lived in the moment. Of course, plans have been made and pensions sorted, so I'm lucky to have a modicum of security. I can't know if I'll ever be or feel lonely, certain circumstances cannot be catered for despite all the most careful planning. There's nothing I can do about that - but by living in the moment, by enjoying family and friends to the fullest now, by not being judgmental and by smiling when I speak to people, I am being me, now.  Then? Well, I'll be me then as well.


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## TICA (Feb 22, 2013)

That, my friend is a loaded question.  Like most of the responses, I don't fear growing old as long as I'm relatively healthy and have my mind.  If my mind ever goes, I'd rather be put out of my misery - then again - I might not know that I'm miserable.    I wouldn't want my family to have to deal with me if I didn't even know who they were.  I experienced that with my own Father and it was heartbreaking.

What I do fear, is dying before I check off the things on my "to do list".   I have objectives to reach in the next 10 years or so and I'm going to pretty upset if I don't get to do them and enjoy retirement.  After working for a lifetime, it is time to have some serious ME time.


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## pchinvegas (Feb 22, 2013)

I definitely do not want to be a burden, or to be unable to recognize my children. That would be terrible


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## Ozarkgal (Feb 22, 2013)

Yep..I fear it everyday.  I refuse to end up in a nursing home drooling and peeing on myself.  I truly believe in assisted suicide. 
If the time comes when I need it, I hope it will be available to me or that I have the ability to make it back to Oregon, where it's now legal.

I worked in a couple of nursing homes in my younger days and the memory of those old (and some not so old) people suffering physically and mentally is forever burned into my brain...not going there, no way, no how!


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## SeaBreeze (Feb 22, 2013)

I don't want to end up in a nursing home either.  If I'm going to drool and pee on myself, I want to do it in the comfort of my own home. layful:  I've said in the past that I would seek out a Dr. Kevorkian type for assistance if needed.  When I'm in too much pain, and there is not more joy to life, then I'll be ready to move on.  It's true that many older folks who are very sickly and tired, appreciate the life they've lived and are ready to say good-bye. :sentimental:  There may be some good nursing homes, and if there's family visiting daily to check on their loved ones, that's great...but unfortunately, that's not always the case, and the patients are abused and over-medicated.   Family members need to check in often, and make sure there's no funny business going on.


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## SifuPhil (Feb 23, 2013)

I've already BEEN in homes where I drooled and peed myself, but it was called "a great party".

The problem with finding a Kevorkian-type when you need them - one, they're illegal, and two, *when* you need them is the wrong time to go looking for them. If I were going that route I think I would put their number in my little black book while I still had time.

Otherwise I'll just have to fall back on my original plan of tying a pork chop around my neck and wandering around in the woods on all fours. layful:


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## pchinvegas (Feb 23, 2013)

Oh damn, ya'll are a depressing bunch this am. Nursing homes do take the cake when it comes to sucking. I too hope to never see the inside of one. I'm going to hope that when I get that bad I'll be crazy as a bed bug and not know how miserable I am.


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## SifuPhil (Feb 23, 2013)

Nah, not depressing - _realistic_. 

Maybe if, by some chance, I'm wrangled into one of those places I'll do an expose, ala Upton Sinclair's _The Jungle_. 



> "One bitter morning in February, the old man who worked the ****** dispensary with Stanislas came about an hour late, and screaming with  pain. They unwrapped him, and a man began vigorously rubbing his ears;  and as they were frozen stiff, it took only two or three rubs to break  them short off."
> 
> SifuPhil, _The Swamp_, p.476


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## SeaSparkle (Feb 27, 2013)

I'm glad I've made it this far!!


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## SifuPhil (Feb 28, 2013)

SeaSparkle said:


> I'm glad I've made it this far!!



Odd that you say that, because for the last few years I've caught myself reading news articles about someone who dies in an accident or from some disease at a much younger age than myself. I then start reflecting on the fact that I've lived the longest of my entire immediate family (mother, father, sister and two brothers).

When I get sufficiently depressed from that line of thinking I recall that my father's family lived to an average age of 99. Maybe I caught the good genes ...


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## pchinvegas (Feb 28, 2013)

Let's hope so SifuPhil , we ll need something to look forward to. I say we start a movement to revamp the nursing homes, get some fun activities. Good music, install some poles etc. hahah


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## TWHRider (Feb 28, 2013)

pchinvegas said:


> Let's hope so SifuPhil , we ll need something to look forward to. I say we start a movement to revamp the nursing homes, get some fun activities. Good music, install some poles etc. hahah



I swear I saw pole dancing for seniors, on some TV special - or maybe that is strong wishful thinking that I've convinced myself is reality - lol lol

That's been needed for a long time but greed at the top gets in the way, I think.

There's a big expose on the local news about a 100-bed nursing home that will soon be closed down for several discrepancies that have gone un-fixed.

1.Not giving patients their medication and lying about the medication not being available.  The investigative news reporter found the meds and video'd all of them.

2.  Giving patients nothing but sponge baths, because they were short-staffed.  The daughter of one patient said she could understand that but whose fault was the short-staffing issue?  Those at top making the big dollars.

The patients have been given 30 days to relocate by the state.  Pretty tough if that person is an invalid and especially tough if they don't have anyone to speak on their behalf such as a relative or family friend.

Once again, this reinforces my thought that, given the chance, I will crawl down to the Pet Cemetary behind the barn before I get hauled off to one of those places - lol lol


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## SeaBreeze (Feb 28, 2013)

Then there's always the possibility of being doped up by the nursing home, because you're less trouble when your groggy or sleeping.  That way it's easier for you also to be beaten up and raped before you pass on...http://www.live5news.com/story/16651071/special-report-sex-offenders-living-in-nursing-homes


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## SifuPhil (Mar 1, 2013)

pchinvegas said:


> ... I say we start a movement to revamp the nursing homes, get some fun activities. Good music, install some poles etc. hahah





TWHRider said:


> I swear I saw pole dancing for seniors, on some TV special - or maybe that is strong wishful thinking that I've convinced myself is reality - lol lol ...



Whoa ... I'll tell you this: when I was working as a bouncer at strip clubs I often saw ladies on the pole who probably could have gotten the "Ride All Day For Free" senior discount on the bus line. 

The funny thing was, many of them outperformed the younger ones. Whether it was because of experience or cunning or a little of both, their movements were far more refined, far more classy than the usual grab-and-spin. I won't say they did the "Superman" or the "Inverted Cross" or routinely went to the top of the 20' pole, but somehow they just seemed to retain their dignity - at least as far as possible in such circumstances.

I would think senior pole-dancing classes would be a hoot! You'd probably have to have wheelchair-accessible poles though, along with thick wrestling mats underneath, hand-grips and non-slip paint on the pole, and one of those little grabber-things to pick up their clothes when they're done with their set. 

"And now, fellas, drop your ****** and give a warm welcome to Niagra! We call her that because she's famous for her falls!"


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## Pricklypear (Mar 7, 2013)

It's too late for me to fear growing old.  I see it in the mirror every morning.  I dread getting to a point where I can't be independent and take care of myself anymore.  I don't think anyone wants to live" like that.

As my husband puts it, "If we get lucky, we'll be safely dead first".


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## Bikeman48088 (Mar 7, 2013)

My genes are confused. On my father's side, everybody died by the age 50 from heart attacks.  On my mother's side, they all live well into their 90's. 
I'm 56, so I've already outlived my father by 10 years. He didn't fear death after his second heart attack and an out-of-body experience. I guess his description of that event has colored my perspective on death as well. I don't fear death, but I won't without a fight. Dylan Thomas had it right, IMO.


> [h=2]DO NOT GO GENTLE INTO
> THAT GOOD NIGHT[/h]*[FONT=arial, helvetica]Do not go gentle into that good night,
> Old age should burn and rage at close of day;
> Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
> ...


​


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## FishWisher (Mar 7, 2013)

Growing old and dying are two peas in the same pod. Can I do anything to avoid either or both - short of suicide, I mean? Nope. Sure can't.

I've looked over the Jordan River a couple of times since my heart surgery in '95. It is a sure thing that I can't avoid crossing one day, so I accept it. It will be as natural as birth, I reckon.

So no, I don't fear growing old. But as others have said, I sure don't want to end up in diapers and hugging a Teddy Bear.


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## BurgerBoy (Mar 10, 2013)

My father died at 65. My mother died at 95. I'm 71 and I hope I got her family side for my genes. Both of her parents died in their 90s.

I take no  medicine at all except one 500mg metformin tablet a day for blood sugar.

I can still do everything I've always been able to do.


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## SifuPhil (Mar 10, 2013)

FishWisher said:


> I've looked over the Jordan River a couple of times since my heart surgery in '95. It is a sure thing that I can't avoid crossing one day, so I accept it. It will be as natural as birth, I reckon ...



You're lucky - you're looking at the River Jordan - that's a GREAT view compared to mine ...







*The River Styx*

Kind of looks like the Hudson River back in the '70's ...


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## That Guy (Mar 27, 2013)

Fear growing old?  Hell, I'm still afraid of growing up!


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## Pappy (May 19, 2013)

He'll no. Bring it on. But when it comes, make it quick. I don't want to be dependent on people having to wipe everything. My dad is 97 and lives in an assistant facility but still cares for himself very well. Iwo Jima vet and smart as a whip.Bless you Dad.


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## SifuPhil (May 19, 2013)

Pappy said:


> He'll no. Bring it on. But when it comes, make it quick. I don't want to be dependent on people having to wipe everything. My dad is 97 and lives in an assistant facility but still cares for himself very well. Iwo Jima vet and smart as a whip.Bless you Dad.



I agree, Pappy - that's the one thing that I've actually ever feared. But I've taken steps to ensure that fear never materializes, so really it isn't a fear any longer.


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## Pappy (May 19, 2013)

SifuPhil said:


> I agree, Pappy - that's the one thing that I've actually ever feared. But I've taken steps to ensure that fear never materializes, so really it isn't a fear any longer.



Good for you. At my age it would be easy to get in that rut, but I won't let myself do that. There ain't a damn thing I can do about it anyway.


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## SeaBreeze (May 19, 2013)

Pappy said:


> Good for you. At my age it would be easy to get in that rut, but I won't let myself do that. There ain't a damn thing I can do about it anyway.



:iagree:...........


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## ancient mariner (Apr 19, 2018)

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick flowers in other people's gardens
And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple. 


Jenny Joseph


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## ancient mariner (Apr 20, 2018)

What's the alternative?


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## Derby (Apr 20, 2018)

I'm afraid of illness, and I'm afraid of losing my independence. I'm afraid of what will happen when I die: how much it will hurt and how much regret I'll feel over things I failed to accomplish before I'm gone. I'm afraid of ageism, and the terrible prejudice it creates. All that said, I'm not afraid of growing old. In itself, growing old is a privilege that many have failed to enjoy. My father, and his father before him died young. I'm certain they both would have preferred to grow old.


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## C'est Moi (Apr 20, 2018)

Derby said:


> I'm afraid of illness, and I'm afraid of losing my independence. I'm afraid of what will happen when I die: how much it will hurt and how much regret I'll feel over things I failed to accomplish before I'm gone. I'm afraid of ageism, and the terrible prejudice it creates. All that said, I'm not afraid of growing old. In itself, growing old is a privilege that many have failed to enjoy. My father, and his father before him died young. I'm certain they both would have preferred to grow old.



My thoughts exactly, Derby.


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## jujube (Apr 20, 2018)

Well, at least I'm too old to die young.....


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## Manatee (Apr 20, 2018)

It is too late to fear getting old, I am already 84.


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## Keesha (Apr 20, 2018)

YES! YES & YES! I’m terrified of ending up in a nursing home with old folks trying to make me play bingo!:help:


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## Lon (Apr 20, 2018)

Approaching age 84 in July I am already old and have no fear.


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## Mike (Apr 20, 2018)

I never think about dying, I am aiming at 150 years and
at 77 this year I am around middle age, maybe I shouldn't
be a member here, I am too young!

In the UK we are lucky, more so than in the USA, as our
healthcare is free and although we hear some awful tales
about old peoples homes, if I ever have to go into one then
I know now that I wouldn't know then how they are treating
me.

So don't worry, enjoy what you have and will have tomorrow
and in the future, you all have done well to reach the age that
you have and that is a bonus.

"You die if you worry and you die if you don't worry, so why worry"?
That is one saying that I learned when I was younger, a lot younger.

Mike.


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## helenbacque (Apr 20, 2018)

I'm 85 in a couple of months.  I'm more inclined to fear growing TOO old.  Older for me just means losing more independence.  I enjoy being in charge of my life, having the freedom to do as I please when I please.


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## Radrook (Apr 20, 2018)

So Junior senior is from fifty to sixty five? Have no idea just trying find out.


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## Gary O' (Apr 20, 2018)

Derby said:


> I'm afraid of illness, and I'm afraid of losing my independence. I'm afraid of what will happen when I die: how much it will hurt and how much regret I'll feel over things I failed to accomplish before I'm gone. I'm afraid of ageism, and the terrible prejudice it creates. All that said, I'm not afraid of growing old. In itself, growing old is a privilege that many have failed to enjoy. My father, and his father before him died young. I'm certain they both would have preferred to grow old.



This is worth reading again


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## Ruthanne (Apr 21, 2018)

Well, I turned around and I turned old...something I have to accept.


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## Catlady (Apr 21, 2018)

I read somewhere that people fear the ''process of dying'' more than fear death itself.  I agree.  I am not really afraid of death, I am afraid of losing my independence, or dying from a long or painful illness, or becoming wheelchair dependent, or losing my mind to Alzheimer or dementia.  Death is only the Final Sleep.


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## NancyNGA (Apr 28, 2018)

I rarely think about it.  Don't fear it.  If I still have my wits about me, I'll always find something to do, mentally, if not physically.  If I don't, I'm guessing it won't matter.


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## Shalimar (Apr 28, 2018)

Gary O' said:


> This is worth reading again



Agreed. While I was still in my forties, it appeared I might have lymphoma, usually a death sentence. What a wait that was. Ultimately, it was  determined all I had was excess tissue. I recall looking at old people, how beautiful they seemed to me, their wrinkles a testament to their lives. I so wanted the privilege of earning those lines! I have the same concerns as others around loss of independence, sentience, etc. But, oh, how grateful I am to still be here!


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## rgp (Apr 28, 2018)

Well......my original plan was to live fast, die young & leave a good-lookin corpse ..blew that so on to plan "B" I guess......


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## hollydolly (Apr 28, 2018)

I only fear growing old with pain, disability and loneliness...

I'm a 'young senior' and after a lifetime of being full of energy, and never really expected to get poorly, it never really occurred to me it would happen to me until I was very old, perhaps a stroke or PD like my father ...  I had to take early retirement due to failing health 9 months ago... and since then so many things  seem to have gone wrong with my body , so I'm much more aware of elder issues now..than I would perhaps have been had this bout of ill health not affected me so fast and so early...


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## Elsie (Apr 28, 2018)

I hope to not go through mental and physical agony on my way to dieing.  To not lose anymore of my ability to take care of myself as I’m able to at this time.(I’ve had full body Essential Tremor shakingsince age 9, now severe.). I’ve learned to not regret that I’ve not contributed to society in any life improving way, as far as I know. http//tremortales.com. 
IMO, no matter how old one is or becomes, once they find they’re dieing, any nonchalance they think they have about it just might ‘fly out the window’.


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## Meanderer (Apr 28, 2018)

Since we can only live in the present, the real question is "Do you fear growing a day older"?  NAH!nthego:


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## Gary O' (Apr 28, 2018)

Elsie said:


> IMO, no matter how old one is or becomes, once they find they’re dieing, any nonchalance they think they have about it just might ‘fly out the window’.



Like most here, I've considered that ultimate demise 
and how I'd like to go
't'wards the very end, I'd prefer to be in extreme agony.....praying for the relief of death

Why?

Because I so love all that life...living has to give


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## treeguy64 (Apr 28, 2018)

I have no fear of growing old.  If/when I lose the ability to live independently, then I will opt out of this existence.  In truth, I used to have a tough time imagining leaving this world because I thought, as a very young kid, that life was heaven on Earth.  Now, thanks, in part, to the internet, I am constantly reminded how horrible life is, for so many living creatures on this planet, including our own kind, courtesy of our very own species.


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## Lethe200 (May 1, 2018)

Well, you know what they say, "old age is 10 yrs older than you are!"

Sure, I think about it. My father had Parkinson's and quickly became disabled. My mother was a functioning alcoholic but died peacefully of a heart attack in her sleep at age 84. My MIL suffered from moderate dementia before dying of a brain aneurysm at age 85.

We had to insist MIL go into Asst. Lvg. Living with us was just not a good solution for her. Our lifestyle clashed with her neediness and made all of us unhappy. 

If you remember nursing homes as "places where you go to die" then you have not investigated the newer full-care elder facilities. They are expensive, but they can be so much better than being confined to a home or apartment with little social interaction or stimulation. My MIL loved the facility we chose and everyone who knew her, remarked they hadn't seen her so happy since her husband died ten years before.

Yes, I'd like to have my 30-yr old body back [grin] while keeping my 67-yr old mind, but I have no real complaints about getting old outside of minor aches and pains. Life is as rewarding and fun as you make it, and complaining never makes anybody happier.

My spouse had a major stroke at age 50. I figured then it halved his life expectancy. Every day he's alive past age 65 is a gift to both of us.


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## exwisehe (May 1, 2018)

As long as I can do the things that give me pleasure, I have no fears.

Simple things like walking my dog, going to concerts, to church on Sunday, romping around with my grandkids, going for a bike ride on the greenway, and reading a good book, are what I enjoy.

If those are gone, then its all over for me.  So far I haven't lost my mobility and that is what keeps me going.

I have a few quirks, physically - like sleep apnea, prostate problems, hearing problems, but so far none too serious, thank God.


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## CarolfromTX (May 2, 2018)

I have a fear od growing too old -- too old to take care of myself, too old to get around on my own, too old to be of any use to anyone. Give me 20 more years, then pfft. I'm good.


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## Catlady (May 2, 2018)

Well, I am so afraid of growing old and getting too weak to get around, that yesterday I started weight lifting exercises.  Your muscles getting weak is what causes lack of balance and the resulting falls.  I did 3 lower exercises yesterday and today did 4 uppers, since you're not supposed to do weights with the same muscles on consecutive days.  I'm starting slow with only 5 reps and no weight and intend to increase reps and add weights as I get stronger.  I didn't realize how stiff and weak I have become.  These are the exercises I am/will be doing from here on, they're for seniors.
https://www.verywellfit.com/total-b...m_source=cn_nl&utm_content=12933462&utm_term=


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