# My husband, my neighbor, how men can be completely clueless, and why I don’t own a weapon, lol



## Aneeda72 (May 28, 2020)

As I have mentioned, in other threads, we recently bought a new house.  Had to spend all my saving working on plumbing, electrical, and both still need work.  While I try to save some money for the HVAC and attic insulation before winter, we turned to the yard.

The front yard was grass and weeds.  A strip next to the front of the house was bare.  I had my husband, last week, till the strip wider and put in several rose bushes, which I got on clearance for 5 dollars each.  An investment of 35 dollars, which will improve the look of the yard.  Then got 4 potted plant collections with red, white, and blue flowers on clearance for 10 each, 40 dollars.

So for 75 dollars, the front of the house looks better and can wait till next year for serious work.  We also sprayed to kill some of the weeds and were planning to throw down some grass seed.  We are working first to improve the back yard which is full of lots of sticker type weeds and dirt.  Our next door neighbor, a man about 65 decides, apparently, due to our activity, to improve his yard.  Starting with the area between our two houses.

Next thing I know he has set a HUGE trash container on our front yard on our side of the space between our two houses while he uses a bobcat to clean the area next to his driveway where he parks multiple cars.  He also clears the area behind the container on our side between the houses where I’ve let him use that space as well so he can get in and out of the cars.

That side yard is weeds, gravel, and dirt.  Alrighty, then, the container is there and it’s a done deal, and our space gets cleaned out.  Ok, then. Once he gets the area done, he doesn’t want to mess it up, so he drives across our lawn with the bobcat to put more stuff into the container from his other side yard and front yard.

I am not happy.  The bobcat tears up a section of our front yard, the front strip on the other side of the sidewalk, and puts rubber tracks all over our sidewalk.  Lovely.  But again, nothing I can do about it.  It’s done.  Sigh.

Continued below.


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## Aneeda72 (May 28, 2020)

I don’t sleep well.  I go to bed early as I will be up and down through the night.  I hear a noise which I thought was my husband slamming a door, and waking me up.  I get up, go into his “den” (which I’m still really mad about) and say why did you slam a door and wake me up.  

Husband said he didn’t slam a door.  He says he was talking to our neighbor earlier who said, to my husband, since he messed up a small section of our front yard was it ok if he fixed it.  My husband says he said since we were planning to till up the yard anyway-sure.

Now, after what I saw that night, I know my husband, who lies and never takes responsibility for anything, lied about the conversation he had with our neighbor.  And I can not ask my neighbor about that conversation.  There is no point, it’s a done deal.

I have a very short fuse.  I know this.  We have never owned any weapons, we never will.  I did not allow my sons to play with guns.  I spanked my daughter once, and slapped my son once, in their whole lives.  I am a very non-violent person, who has a very short fuse.

But, when I looked out my front window, for just one second I realized why this was a good thing, no weapons, non-violent.  Cause there were two old men I really wanted to kill.  .  I am sure it would have been justified.  A moment of insanity in an otherwise fairly violence free life.

My neighbor had removed my entire front yard.


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## Aneeda72 (May 28, 2020)

I was in shock for two days.  There is nothing but a large expanse of dirt.  I go out and walk on it a few times a day, trying to wrap my mind around it-as if grass will magically spring up underneath my feet.

I am so mad.  It’s a wonder I don’t have a heart attack.


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## Judycat (May 28, 2020)

My stupid husband once got our next door neighbor to use his weed eater to trim our yard. I had spent years cultivating a nice corner perennial garden and a nice variety of ground cover in another spot. 

They were just beginning to look good, when in one day, that doofus neighbor leveled everything to the bare ground. I was devastated. My lazy, a-hole husband thought it was funny.  

Ah what can ya do? The neighbor was terrified for years I would kill him. Idiot man.

Sorry this happened to you, but let it go. File it in the back with the other stupid things people do. 

Maybe tell your hubby you'd like to kill that guy for doing that. He'll blab to the neighbor with great exaggeration how furious you are, because that's how they relate BS to each other.


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## RadishRose (May 28, 2020)

I can't laugh because as a past perennial gardener I would have been crushed.
But I see why you're not armed.


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## Aneeda72 (May 28, 2020)

Judycat said:


> My stupid husband once got our next door neighbor to use his weed eater to trim our yard. I had spent years cultivating a nice corner perennial garden and a nice variety of ground cover in another spot.
> 
> They were just beginning to look good, when in one day, that doofus neighbor leveled everything to the bare ground. I was devastated. My lazy, a-hole husband thought it was funny.
> 
> ...


Yup, I told my husband I didn’t believe what he said.  I don’t.  And I am in the process of “getting over it”.  As you said and as I know I have no choice but to get over it.  However, one good turn deserves another.

I threw away all his candy, cookies, and pretzels. Told him I’d be more than HAPPY to buy him a large jar of jelly beans to eat.


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## Don M. (May 28, 2020)

Aneeda72 said:


> My neighbor had removed my entire front yard.



It sounds like you may be in for some "interesting" times in your new house....if your neighbor cannot contain his "activity" to his own property.  

Neighbors showing minimal regard for those around them was one of the reasons why we decided to retire to the boondocks, years ago.  At least here, we are surrounded by a nice forest, and don't have to put up with anyone "encroaching".


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## Aneeda72 (May 28, 2020)

Don M. said:


> It sounds like you may be in for some "interesting" times in your new house....if your neighbor cannot contain his "activity" to his own property.
> 
> Neighbors showing minimal regard for those around them was one of the reasons why we decided to retire to the boondocks, years ago.  At least here, we are surrounded by a nice forest, and don't have to put up with anyone "encroaching".


No kidding plus the guy makes me nervous which is why I told my huband he has to work from home from now on.


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## jujube (May 28, 2020)

Men. Can't live with 'em, can't shoot 'em.


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## Gardenlover (May 28, 2020)

Is it really just men? Seems like the media has been "trying" to portray men as idiots" for some time now. Why is this?_ I really want to know._


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## Aneeda72 (May 28, 2020)

Gardenlover said:


> Is it really just men? Seems like the media has been "trying" to portray men as idiots" for some time now. Why is this?_ I really want to know._


I don’t know about the media.  I do know that I now have a completely bare front yard.  IMO, only an idiot would strip someone front yard.  The two persons involved in the denuding of my yard were men.  You will have to do the math.  . And come to your own conclusion.


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## Gardenlover (May 28, 2020)

The actions of a couple individuals does not describe the majority. I've always hated labels and always will. Let me be me and you be you.


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## Aneeda72 (May 29, 2020)

Gardenlover said:


> The actions of a couple individuals does not describe the majority. I've always hated labels and always will. Let me be me and you be you.


I agree to a certain extent.  But I was only talking about the two men who removed my lawn, I apologize, I should have made that clearer.


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## Camper6 (May 29, 2020)

Judycat said:


> My stupid husband once got our next door neighbor to use his weed eater to trim our yard. I had spent years cultivating a nice corner perennial garden and a nice variety of ground cover in another spot.
> 
> They were just beginning to look good, when in one day, that doofus neighbor leveled everything to the bare ground. I was devastated. My lazy, a-hole husband thought it was funny.
> 
> ...



If the plants are perennials, they will come back stronger than ever.  As long as the roots are still there, give them water and fertilizer and you will be amazed at the new growth and results.

Get some plant edging borders which are available now at the dollar stores and keep them safe from weed eaters and it will look nice.  While you are there get some solar lights .  Send us a picture later.


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## Judycat (May 29, 2020)

They never came back. And I've never been able to have that spot look as good as it did before that yo-yo cut it down.



Camper6 said:


> If the plants are perennials, they will come back stronger than ever.  As long as the roots are still there, give them water and fertilizer and you will be amazed at the new growth and results.
> 
> Get some plant edging borders which are available now at the dollar stores and keep them safe from weed eaters and it will look nice.  While you are there get some solar lights .  Send us a picture later.


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## Camper6 (May 29, 2020)

All is not lost.  Buy new ones.  It's like rescuing an abandoned dog. 

Never trust a guy with a weed eater.  They get carried away with power.


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## Judycat (May 29, 2020)

Oh you are so chipper. It has been at least 10 years since that happened. Last year the same neighbor was helping put on my new garage roof. He managed to cut down a tree and leveled my ostrich fern. There is no changing these people or my situation because I live in Hell.


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## Aneeda72 (May 29, 2020)

Judycat said:


> Oh you are so chipper. It has been at least 10 years since that happened. Last year the same neighbor was helping put on my new garage roof. He managed to cut down a tree and leveled my ostrich fern. There is no changing these people or my situation because I live in Hell.


Right next door to me .


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## Aneeda72 (May 29, 2020)

Sooo, I was outside when my neighbor came over.  He said, “I see I missed a few places.  Would you like me to bring the bobcat over again?”  Hmm, no thanks.  Clueless, absolutely clueless.


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## Ruth n Jersey (May 29, 2020)

It isn't always men. When I was a kid my dad planted some Pachysandra on a very shady side of our garage. It was nothing but mud as well as the neighbors property that bordered ours. 
It grew well and started to spread into the neighbors muddy patch as well.
One day the mean old witch who was the mother of the lady who owned the house came knocking at out door and wanted it all removed. My dad apologized and did mention that it was preventing erosion on her property as well.
She wanted it out anyway.
I felt so sorry for my dad. He only had one day off a week and did manual labor his whole life, but he dug it out. Years later after my dad passed I was visiting his grave. 
The witches grave was a few rows away. I was curious when she had died because my dad always said mean people last forever.
There on the shady side of her grave was Pachysandra. I was so happy, I watered it.


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## Aneeda72 (May 29, 2020)

Ruth n Jersey said:


> It isn't always men. When I was a kid my dad planted some Pachysandra on a very shady side of our garage. It was nothing but mud as well as the neighbors property that bordered ours.
> It grew well and started to spread into the neighbors muddy patch as well.
> One day the mean old witch who was the mother of the lady who owned the house came knocking at out door and wanted it all removed. My dad apologized and did mention that it was preventing erosion on her property as well.
> She wanted it out anyway.
> ...


,although some old witches do live forever, my mother is 95.


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## Llynn (May 29, 2020)

I didn't realise when I joined this Forum that I was joining an anti-male, female supremacy outfit. There are some recently active dames who have brought their man hating ways with them and that seems to be encouraging the bitching of other members of the female gland. 

It really gets old girls. I've got better things to do than listen to hormonally challenged old cats yowl. Bye bye.


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## Judycat (May 29, 2020)

See ya.


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## Aneeda72 (Jun 1, 2020)

The next door neighbor got a new container which he put next to the strip of his driveway.  This left the four foot strip in front of our house uncovered from his old container.  Our grass under it had died.  First thing he did with the bobcat was removed that strip.  Sigh.

Now, while he works on his property, he drives across that strip, and more of our property to fill the dumpster.  Sigh.  Bought a lot of plants and can’t plant them cause he is still driving on our yard.  Our other neighbor‘s fence from the front of the house, to the sidewalk, is 6 feet high.

Code is 4 feet.  A vine grows on the fence so I asked her could I pull the vine off?  She says yes.  Then she says her son, who no longer lives with her, wants the vine to stay.  Can’t see to back out of the yard due to the vine.

Now I’m going to have to call code enforcement on her and make her lower her chain length fence.  Sigh.  Making friends wherever I go.  .


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## Aneeda72 (Jun 21, 2020)

We continue to work on the yard.  with the remainder of the bricks from the back yard, we built a flower raised flower bed.  He did it wrong the first time.  I asked him how he expected the dirt to stay in the bed since he left spaces between the bricks.  Sigh.  No answer from him.

He also made it three bricks high and enclosed it on three sides.  I asked him if he was planning on enclosing the other side.  Oh, he says.  Sigh.  Redid again.  I bought 36 succulents for a dollar on clearance and put them in the bed.  They will be “annuals“ for my area but they only have to be watered once a week.

They look great.  They are flowering, green plants.  Got two garden spaces done in the front.  Doing a third but ran into a problem.  No edging in the entire county due to the virus.  Apparently edging is not a priority.  . Not buying any more brick so just have to wait.

Moved a piece of edging we had to line the front sidewalk as we had dirt and water running onto it from our yard.  Neighbor still has a huge trash container in his driveway and is using a piece of our property to run the bobcat up and down.

Problem is he’s not using it, hasn’t worked on his yard for two weeks and I spoke to him about it.  He says he will, he can not rush things.  OMGosh.  So we can’t do anything g about that space till he gets it in gear.  Didn’t call code Enforcement on other neighbor about her fence.  She went into hospital so that’s on hold as well.

She was sitting in her yard waiting for transportation to the hospital, chain smoking.  Stupid woman.  I think she is out of the hospital and in a nursing home, where she should stay.  Oh, well, back to work.


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