# And then, the fight started



## Pappy

Feel free to add your pictures.


----------



## Pappy




----------



## Sassycakes




----------



## fureverywhere




----------



## Pappy

The coffee better be hot, dear.


----------



## Pappy

Oh boy.....


----------



## RadishRose




----------



## Pappy




----------



## Sassycakes

And that was how the fight started !


----------



## Sassycakes

View attachment 26574


----------



## Karen99




----------



## Pappy

Lottery winner.


----------



## Sassycakes

A man and a woman had been married some time when 
the woman began to question her husband. "I know 
you've been with a lot of woman before. How many were there?" 
The husband replied, "Look, I don't want to upset you, there 
were many. Let's just leave it alone." The wife continued 
to beg and plead. Finally, the husband gave in. "Let's see." he said
 "There was one, two, three, four, five, six, you, eight, nine..."
(that's when the fight started)


----------



## Pappy




----------



## jujube

Wife is standing before the mirror:  "Oh my God, look at me!  I'm fat, everything's sagging, my hair is turning gray and my wrinkles have wrinkles.  I'm so depressed!  Say something to cheer me up!"

Husband:  "Well, your eyesight is still good."

Visitation is Tuesday from 2-5.  Funeral will be held at 10:00 a.m. on Wednesday.  In lieu of flowers, donations to the Foot-in-Mouth-Disease Foundation will be appreciated.


----------



## NancyNGA




----------



## Arachne




----------



## Pappy

When I got home last night, my wife demanded I take her some place expensive.

I took her to a gas station and then: the fight started.


----------



## NancyNGA

*And then the fight started....*


----------



## Ken N Tx




----------



## Pappy




----------



## Sassycakes

I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and 
slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just
 get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? 
Yeah, well I couldn’t believe it…. He was a DWARF!!!


He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, “I AM NOT HAPPY!!!”


So, I looked down at him and said, “Well, then which one are you?”


And then the fight started…..


----------



## Sassycakes

And this was how the fight started......


----------



## NancyNGA

*
Maybe the fight started already????*


----------



## Pappy

An armed hooded robber bursts into the Bank 
and forces the tellers to load a sack full of cash. On
his way out the door with the loot one brave Irish
customer grabs the hood and pulls it off revealing the
robber's face. The robber shoots the guy in the head
without hesitation!
He then looks around the bank to see if anyone else has
seen him.

One of the tellers is looking straight at him and the
robber walks over and calmly shoots him in the head
also. Everyone by now is very scared and looking down
at the floor.

Did anyone else see my face?' calls the robber.

There is a few moments silence then one elderly 
gent, looking down, tentatively raises his hand and
says:

'I think me wife may have caught a glimpse ....'
-----------------------------------------


----------



## Sassycakes

Little Johnny sees his Daddy’s car passing the playground and going into the woods. 
Curious, he follows the car and sees Daddy and Aunt Jane kissing. 
Johnny finds this so exciting and can barely contain himself as he 
runs home and starts to tell his mother excitedly.
 “MOMMY, MOMMY, I WAS AT THE PLAYGROUND AND DADDY AND…”


Mommy tells him to slow down, but that she wants to hear the story. 
So Johnny tells her. “I was at the playground and I saw Daddy’s car go 
into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went to look and Daddy was giving Aunt Jane 
a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt, then Aunt Jane helped Daddy
 take his pants off, then Aunt Jane laid down on the seat, then Daddy…”


At this point, Mommy cut him off and said, “Johnny, this is such an interesting story,
 suppose you save the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the look on Daddy’s 
face when you tell it tonight.”


At the dinner table, Mommy asks Johnny to tell his story. He describes the car into the woods, 
the undressing, laying down on the seat, and,
 “then Daddy and Aunt Jane did that same thing Mommy and Uncle Jeff used to do when Daddy was in the Army.”
And Then The Fight Started !


----------



## Sassycakes

After the fight started


----------



## NancyNGA




----------



## Ken N Tx




----------



## Pappy

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and ​​​slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked the boat up to the van and ​​​proceeded to back out into a torrential ​​​downpour. The wind was blowing 50mph, so I pulled back into the garage, ​​​turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all ​​​day. ​​​
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into ​​​bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back; now with a different anticipation, ​​​and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible." ​​​
My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my stupid ​​​husband is out fishing in that?" 

--------------------------​​​


----------



## Pappy

Oh boy....


----------



## boozercruiser




----------



## Ken N Tx




----------



## Pappy

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's Licence to verify my age.
I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability too.'
And then the fight started...


----------



## NancyNGA

...


----------



## hossthehermit




----------



## NancyNGA

...


----------



## Pappy




----------



## NancyNGA




----------



## Jackie22

_A lady goes to her parish priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots but they only know how to say one thing." "What do they say?" the priest inquired. "They say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?" "That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed, "I can see why you are embarrassed." He thought a minute and then said, "You know, I may have a solution to this problem. I have two male parrots whom I have taught to pray and read the Bible. 
Bring your two parrots over to my house and we will put them in the cage with Francis and Job. My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship. I'm sure your parrots will stop saying that...that phrase in no time." "Thank you," the woman responded, "this may very well be the solution." 
_
http://www.funfunky.com/karlie-kloss-tom-ford-2015-womenswear-collection-t36456.html​​_
The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's house. As he ushered her in, she saw this two male parrots were inside their cage, holding their rosary beads and praying. Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them. After just a couple of seconds, the female parrots exclaimed out in unison, "Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?" 
There was a stunned silence. Finally, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and said, "Put the beads away, Francis, our prayers have been answered!"_​​

_


_


----------



## Arachne




----------



## NancyNGA




----------



## Pappy

:love_heart:


----------



## jujube

In honor of St. Paddy's Day:

A young Irish woman is pregnant with her first child.  She comes home from her first OB visit and says, "Paddy, the doctor wants me to bring in a specimen.  It was embarrassed I was to admit that I didn't know what a specimen was.  Do y'know what that is?"

"Jaysus, Mary & Joseph, woman," cries her husband, "How would I know what that is? It isn't like I've ever been to a doctor meself.  Go over and ask old Mrs. Mahoney; hasn't the auld gal had twelve children herself? Maybe she'd know."

The young woman crossed the street and a few minutes later she came back with a hank of hair missing from her head, a very black eye and the clothes half ripped off her body.

"Saints alive!  Who did this to ye?" asked her husband.

"Old Mrs. Mahoney did!"

"Mrs. Mahoney? She's 90 years old! How could Mrs. Mahoney do this to ye?  Better yet, WHY did Mrs. Mahoney do this to ye?"

"Well, I don't know what's the matter with her!  All I asked was 'What is a specimen' and the old besom said 'Piss in a cup'.  Then I said, 'Well then, s**t in your hat!" and that's when the fight began."


----------



## NancyNGA




----------



## Sassycakes

I was surfing the net and I found an interesting picture!


My wife asked, “Why are you staring at the computer screen for so long?”


I said, “Take a look, I’m trying to decide if it’s gold or silver.”






And that's when the fight started !


----------



## NancyNGA

...


----------



## NancyNGA




----------



## boozercruiser




----------



## NancyNGA

A little insensitive


----------



## NancyNGA




----------



## NancyNGA




----------



## NancyNGA




----------



## Pappy

:hiteachother:


----------



## NancyNGA




----------



## Pappy




----------



## NancyNGA

Tension begins to develop on the Lewis and Clark expedition


----------



## NancyNGA




----------



## NancyNGA




----------



## NancyNGA




----------



## Pappy




----------



## Butterfly

NancyNGA said:


>



Yup -- I'd say his life expectancy is about 5 minutes!


----------



## NancyNGA




----------



## Pappy

This will not end well.


----------



## Pappy

:love_heart:


----------



## NancyNGA

And _THEN_ the fight started....


----------



## Sassycakes

A husband walks into  Victoria's Secret to purchase a sheer negligee for his  wife


He is shown several  possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price -- the  sheerer, the higher the price.


Naturally, he opts  for the sheerest item, pays the $500, and takes it home.


He presents it to  his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on, and model  it for him.


Upstairs the wife  thinks (she's no dummy), 'I have an idea. It's so  sheer that it might as well be  nothing.


I won't put it on,  but I'll do the modelling naked, return it  tomorrow, and keep the $500 refund for  myself.'


She appears naked on  the balcony and strikes a pose.


The husband says,  'Good Grief!  You'd think for  $500, they'd at least iron it!'.............


...........................................And that's how the Fight Started

And this is how the fight ended...........


He never heard the  shot.  The Funeral is on  Thursday at Noon - Closed  coffin.


----------



## Pappy

And then, the fight started.


----------



## NancyNGA

Poor Fred...  He never knew what hit him.


----------



## NancyNGA




----------



## Pappy

I hired a person to take out my garbage. Now the fights starting with the wife. hwell:


----------



## NancyNGA




----------



## Pappy




----------



## Pappy

Oh boy...look out.


----------



## Ken N Tx




----------



## NancyNGA




----------



## Pappy

And then:


----------



## NancyNGA

Even worse... It wasn't their anniversary. :sentimental:


----------



## Falcon

Oh MAN!   He's in DEEP  doo doo.


----------



## NancyNGA




----------



## Pappy

Oh boy.....


----------



## NancyNGA

Isn't this the same poor fellow that tried bagpipes?  Women.


----------



## NancyNGA




----------



## NancyNGA

Would this be enough to start a fight?  Nah!


----------



## Sassycakes

A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.


Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.


The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man


"Holy Crap. That must be my husband!"


So the man jumped out of the bed, scared and naked jumped out of the window.


He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and into his 
car as fast as he could go.


A few mintues later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed 
at the woman,
"I AM your husband!"


The woman yelled back,


"Yeah, then why were you running?"


And that's when the fighting started


----------



## NancyNGA




----------



## Pappy

Then it really started.


----------



## NancyNGA

Or *back*, either...


----------



## Pappy

Not in my house.....


----------



## NancyNGA




----------



## Aunt Bea




----------



## Pappy

Egg fight.


----------



## Butterfly

Pappy said:


> Then it really started.



I can't open that image??


----------



## Pappy

Anyone else that can't open it? Is fine on my IPad.


----------



## Pappy

Yep...that'll do it.


----------



## NancyNGA

How sweet. :love_heart:


----------



## Pappy

Fight on the way:


----------



## NancyNGA




----------



## Sassycakes

A Pastor goes to the dentist for a set of false teeth. 
The first Sunday after he gets his new teeth, he talks 
for only eight minutes. 
The second Sunday, he talks for only ten minutes. 
The following Sunday, he talks for 2 hours and 48 minutes. 




The congregation including his wife   had to mob 
him to get him down 
from the pulpit and 
they asked him what happened. 




The Pastor explains the first Sunday his gums hurt 
so bad he couldn't talk for more than 8 minutes. 
The second Sunday his gums hurt too much 
to talk for more than 10 minutes. But, the third Sunday, 
he put his wife's' teeth in by mistake and 
he couldn't shut up.
And that my friend








Was when the fight started !


----------



## NancyNGA




----------



## NancyNGA




----------



## Pappy




----------



## Granny B.




----------



## Pappy

Granny B. said:


> View attachment 45611



Haha.....when we went to St. Maarten, we went to a nude beach on the French side of the island. This is what the majority of the people looked like, minus their trunks.


----------



## Pappy




----------



## NancyNGA




----------



## Pappy




----------



## NancyNGA




----------



## NancyNGA




----------



## NancyNGA




----------



## Granny B.




----------



## NancyNGA




----------



## Pappy




----------



## C'est Moi




----------



## Pappy




----------



## NancyNGA




----------



## Pappy




----------



## treeguy64

Yeah, I'll play party pooper, here: While many of these posts are quite funny, I'm surprised by the insensitivity shown by posters who apparently think violent acts and the disabled are fair subjects for humorous treatment. I needed to post this


----------



## Sassycakes

Men will be Men !
<font size="5"><span style="color:#008080;">


----------



## Sassycakes




----------



## Sassycakes

And that's when the fight started !


----------



## Ken N Tx




----------



## win231

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.
The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied,
"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight started.....

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.  I really need you to pay me a compliment."
I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."
And then the fight started........

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage.   I hooked the boat up to the  van, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph,so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.  I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."
My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"
And that's how the fight started...


----------



## Ken N Tx




----------



## Pappy




----------



## Ken N Tx




----------



## Sassycakes

And that was how the fight started !


----------



## Sassycakes

And that's when the fight started !


----------



## win231

Pappy said:


>



My favorite show.  And Peggy's reply was also great:  "Well....maybe you need a bigger gun."


----------



## win231

It's raining, thunder & lightning, so I bring our dog in.

My wife (ex):  "Hey, I don't want him sleeping in the house."

Me:  "The storm is bad; he can't stay outside all night."

Wife:  "What about the fur everywhere?"

Me:   "I'll vacuum in the morning."

Wife:  "What about the fleas?"

Me:   "They'll get used to you just like I did."


----------



## Pappy




----------

