# Question for the guys that had kids



## debodun (Jan 18, 2022)

What relationship was more like what you had with your kids:
1) A great dad that spent lots of quality time with the kids
2) Vaguely aware that there were some short people in the house


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## palides2021 (Jan 18, 2022)

Our son was very important to us. My late husband would hold him when he was a baby and talk to him, or read to him stories. He'd also play with him and as my son grew older, they would work outside together in the back yard or play ball. When my son was old enough to go to school, we homeschooled him, and I spent a lot of time with him. He was a cheerful baby and boy. We were blessed.


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## Sassycakes (Jan 18, 2022)

I am a woman but I can answer for my husband. He is the best Dad and Granddad in the world. He was always there for our kids and now our grandchildren.


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## old medic (Jan 19, 2022)

I did my best to be involved in all aspects of our kids growing up, from helping with homework, sports, going camping with scouts.
It was quite hard with my schedule of 12 hour shifts, rotating days and nights, and half the weekends, Holidays...


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## Packerjohn (Jan 19, 2022)

I like #2.  No, I wasn't like that.


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## grahamg (Jan 19, 2022)

debodun said:


> What relationship was more like what you had with your kids:
> 1) A great dad that spent lots of quality time with the kids
> 2) Vaguely aware that there were some short people in the house


Is that what is commonly called a "loaded question", (or a "false dichotomy"?)?


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## grahamg (Jan 21, 2022)

What they say on tinternet:
https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20190606-how-to-be-a-good-father-to-a-newborn-son-or-daughter

"Given the financial pressures many families face, ******* fears there could actually be a reversal to more traditional roles: “If you’re a dad now, if you want to be involved, you have to be a bit of a pioneer in the workplace. You have to go against all that culture of, ‘men go back to work’. You have to be the one to go, ‘Actually, I want to assert my rights’.

“And that’s quite a hard thing to do.”

A more equal division can have many long-term benefits. Researchers led by sociologists Helen Norman and Colette Fagan at the University of Manchester found that fathers were more likely to be involved when the child was aged three if they shared childcare equally when the child was nine months old. In Scotland, a study of more than 2,500 families showed that supportive father-child relationships matter as much as mother-child relationships for children's wellbeing."



And a quiz to discover what you should already know:
https://www.quizony.com/are-you-a-good-father/index.html


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## Knight (Jan 21, 2022)

Then
Beginning with sticking my fingers with the diaper pins to teaching them life skills like plumbing, carpentry, mechanics & expecting them to help their mom with cooking, cleaning, & laundry seemed normal. Camping, road trips, & probably the highlight of their teen years teaching each how to drive a stick shift car.  A car for each of them on their 16th. birthday that needed work was in our garage. They did all the mechanical repairs to make it safe for the road. 
Now
 Now their friendly advisor when asked for advice. They are self sufficient contributing members of society so  I'm happy with how they turned out.  Was I a good dad.  Maybe.  I don't judge myself or compare to others.


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## Gary O' (Jan 21, 2022)

debodun said:


> What relationship was more like what you had with your kids:
> 1) A great dad that spent lots of quality time with the kids
> 2) Vaguely aware that there were some short people in the house


For me, it was a mixed bag

Never dedicated *special time *with my kids

Nothing centered around *them*

However, if I fished, they fished
If I hiked, they hiked
If I camped, they camped

It's what kids do......they get to go along...learn things





Now the grands......that's different


the great grands are even grander


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