# Granddaughter Re-Explains Life Events to Grandmother with Alzheimer's Disease



## SeaBreeze (Aug 28, 2015)

More here.




> Living with Alzheimer’s disease can be absolutely terrifying. It's





> hard to imagine waking up with amnesia every single day unless you suffer from something similar yourself. As you can see in this video, it’s so heartbreaking to feel confused, scared and alone, but it’s even worse for the family members that love and care for someone with this debilitating disease.
> 
> When many people learn of a loved one’s diagnosis with dementia or Alzheimer’s it can be such a setback in life, but Lisa Marie Cerasoli decided to step up to the plate and make the struggle for her grandmother Nora Jo as easy as possible. For four years after her grandfather died, Lisa Marie would have her Gram come visit with her family, and once she became too sick live alone Lisa Marie began to live with her.


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## NancyNGA (Aug 28, 2015)

First, let me say I had an admittedly very short time of experiencing dementia with both parents. But I'm torn whether it's a good idea to keep correcting someone with memory issues over and over again.  Of course, whether your husband is alive or not is one thing, but about unimportant matters that they remember incorrectly, I don't think it's worth the constant correction.  The next day they may be thinking clearly again.  In the meantime you've introduced a lot of unnecessary stress and worry.  I guess it's a judgement call on the issue.


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## SeaBreeze (Aug 28, 2015)

Good points there Nancy, I have not had to deal with this thankfully, but it may not be good to revive old memories in these cases, especially if they are sad ones.


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## oldman (Aug 29, 2015)

I don't understand what the Granddaughter's point was for reminding Grandma that her husband was dead. Why she wanted to have her Grandmother relive that event is a mystery to me. If she was making this film to educate people with how Alzheimer's effects people, she made her point, but I think most, if not all of us already knew this much. I hope that she doesn't continue down this road on a daily basis. My 87 year-old Mother died peacefully in a coma, but never had Alzheimer's, thankfully. Her mind was as sharp as ever. It was her kidneys that failed my Mother. God, I miss her so much and my Dad too. There were no two greater people ever in my life. You just can't replace Mom and Dad.


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## Lara (Aug 29, 2015)

That's wise oldman (and Nancy) and the last part is so sweet about your parents. I'm afraid to watch the video. My finger hovered over the button and then I chickened out. I've never known anyone with this but I know it's so sad. When I see a video it plants itself in my brain so I'm selective. I guess I'm afraid of being too sad for some time. Some things are just too sad.

I once saw a frail man in a daze in the middle of a 4-lane intersection. I knew there was a church somewhat nearby with Alzheimer's day-care. I could just tell he belonged there. I had a van at the time and blocked the traffic with it while I helped him in (I know, I thought of the liability too but there were no cell phones to call 911 and no time for that). Then I drove him to that church and sure enough he had wandered off somehow and they didn't even know it. I reminded them that they needed to pay closer attention and close doors and gate.


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## Shalimar (Aug 29, 2015)

I really don't see the point of reimprinting painful realities on this person's fragile mind. Who is being helped here, the lady or her granddaughter who may be too young to realise that reality is not always what it is cracked up to be? If she forgets the death of someone she loves, how is that a negative thing? There are memories we all would love to discard. A rule of thumb for many caregivers when asked about a deceased loved one, is to reply that they are out, but will be back soon. Almost always this reassures the person.


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## Bobw235 (Aug 29, 2015)

I have not watched the video yet.  My father-in-law is in the mid-stage of the disease and it is so sad to see this man who was once so full of life and adventure, someone who was NEVER at a loss for words, now reduced to a shell of his former self.  It sucks!  His short term memory is non-existent at this point and now the LT memory is fading to the point where he asked his youngest daughter a few weeks ago how she knew their oldest daughter.  My sister-in-law patiently explained to him that she and my wife are sisters, but that word didn't register with him anymore, so he asked again.  It's tragic.  He needs help with even basic tasks now except for eating.  We don't see it day to day because we're not in FL, but the changes between visits are extreme at this point.  The man I've known for over 40 years is slowly fading away.


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## 911 (Aug 29, 2015)

Yeah, Bob and the sad part is that it may soon be our turn.


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## Lara (Aug 29, 2015)

Here is a Trailer for the 2014 movie called "Still Alice"...the theme is Alzheimers. 
Julianne Moore stars and received an Academy Award for Best Actress.
You can watch it for free if you google: still alice full movie youtube
This is only the trailer. I haven't watched the movie because I don't want to be
sad but someone here may get insight from it if they're searching for that:


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## AZ Jim (Aug 29, 2015)

911 said:


> Yeah, Bob and the sad part is that it may soon be our turn.



Well maybe but not all of us go through that.  They used to say of someone "he's feeble minded".  My Granddad was "feeble minded".


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## Bobw235 (Aug 29, 2015)

911 said:


> Yeah, Bob and the sad part is that it may soon be our turn.



It may be that one can't avoid this in the end, but I do know from reading that I may be able to minimize the risks by watching what I eat, keeping my weight down, keeping my BP and cholesterol under control, staying active, etc.  It doesn't run in my family, but my wife is understandably worried as her mother is now also showing signs of severe mental decline.


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## Lara (Aug 29, 2015)

Bobw235 said:


> It may be that one can't avoid this in the end, but I do know from reading that I may be able to minimize the risks by watching what I eat, keeping my weight down, keeping my BP and cholesterol under control, staying active, etc.  It doesn't run in my family, but my wife is understandably worried as her mother is now also showing signs of severe mental decline.


Yes, we now know it's possible to prevent symptoms of Alzheimers and even 
reverse deterioration by doing the things you mentioned as well as  a few more:

http://www.helpguide.org/articles/alzheimers-dementia/alzheimers-and-dementia-prevention.htm



Regular exercise
Healthy diet
Mental stimulation
Quality sleep
Stress management
An active social life


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## charlotta (Aug 29, 2015)

I agree, that  people who have any type of dementia, should not be corrected about any thing.  Just change the subject and keep it as light as you can.  I know it is benefitual to touch and engage in conversation.  Take time to hold the person's hand, and sit in front of them so they can see you.  If they need any type of hygiene
do this and be thankful you took the time to help.  My mother stayed with me when hospice was called in.  I had a care giver a couple of hours a day.  We could not
move Mom from bed to chair, but we set up a system to wash her hair.  She enjoyed the extra care that she had and was very loving toward us.  She had a clot in her 
brain that caused her dementia.  I played her favorite hymns and symphonies on the stereo. I am so grateful that I could leave my job and be here for her.

Please dont bother correcting .  Just talk about things you can remember of the past.  If she can't remember them, tell her about things that u recall and keep it light.


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## Butterfly (Aug 29, 2015)

I agree about not correcting.  I do not see the point in bringing up what may be very painful memories.  If the person believes her husband is just out, or some such, what's the harm?


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## Lara (Aug 29, 2015)

carlotta, that's such a tender post. You're sweet. I remember taking care of my grandmother "gammie". I would even give her a shower and, get this, she always wanted me to powder under her breasts 

butterfly, count me in too. I don't think we should correct them either.


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## Butterfly (Aug 30, 2015)

My friend's mother (whom I had known most of my life) had Alzheimers towards the end, and she pretty much lived in an alternate reality in which her husband was still alive and her children were still teenagers -- from the things she said, I think her time frame must have been around 1959 or 60 or so.  She seemed quite content there in her world, and nobody really tried to straighten her out.  Sometimes she knew who her children were, but she would see them as teenagers or young adults and would ask them how school was or whether they had fed the dog.  Very strange, but maybe she was happier than the rest of us there in her own time and space.  She always asked me when the hamburgers were going to be done.  The only thing to do was to just play along and say "pretty soon."


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