# Why do bad things happen to good people?



## Paco Dennis (Oct 22, 2022)

In the past 6 months I have developed nerve damage that has changed my life around. It developed slowly and now I am confined to a comfort chair. I can exercise for about 1/2 an hour before the pain and fatigue get me to sit down again. 

Before this happened I was active. I worked around the farm. I enjoyed friends and family visits. I listened and created music. My life was going ok. Now, all that has come to "pause"...I hope. My disease is usually not curable. One needs to learn how to manage physical and mental/emotional suffering. There are many helpful methods ( many are discussed on this forum ).

  If people are interested in my journey, I will be posting to this diary when the spirit moves me. I do not desire any SORROW from others about this. I know that millions of people face suffering all over the world everyday. So this is an account of my life and thoughts that begins in my 70th decade journey.

  I decided to start this diary because I have been part of this online community for about 7 months and have enjoyed the people and variety of interests and the variety of views shared openly. I don't like being "self" interested but because of the onset of this illness I have become very self involved. 

It is difficult to get beyond the almost constant pain but that is what needs to be done, and it can be. I now have Zoom meetings with others that have "Peripheral Neuropathy." There are about 8 percent of seniors who suffer from this illness. (Misa just said that there was a shooting in Columbia and 3 people were injured. So pain visited them and there friends and family.) Suffering is with us in some ways each day. 

I have hesitated to start this diary because this forum seems to emphasize happiness and joy about life. We are encouraged to keep things light hearted. I am needing to express this journey that has changed my ability to enjoy life like I once did. This illness could pass or they might eventually find some cure, but for now this is what it is.

  I do want you to post your thoughts/feelings when the spirit moves you. Life is filled with complex issues, and I hear of "management techniques" daily to help keep us going. We post about these issues too here in different form. Different things work for some people but they don't for others. 

We all have to find our own way to thrive. I am having a tendency to withdraw into myself and I don't not think that is the best way to go. So I am hoping that this diary will keep me open to telling what is happening in my world on our farm.


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## Devi (Oct 22, 2022)

Thanks for sharing, @Paco Dennis. I'm hoping that your keeping an online diary will help you. I'll certainly be reading.

My best wishes that you will feel better.


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## Lewkat (Oct 22, 2022)

I have peripheral neuropathy, and I've learned for the most part to deal with it.  When it flares up, I just rest until it settles down.  It does affect my balance, though, and I'll have to use a walker very soon.

But, I enjoy life on the whole and try to occupy myself with pleasant activities.


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## Aunt Mavis (Oct 22, 2022)

I wrote a book for therapy and laughs. Sometimes we tend to focus on “bad things” (guilty) because of their impact mentally and physically. Bad things happen equally to “bad people” statistically speaking.  August, September and parts of October sucked big ones for me, now it’s time to suck it up. Yikes!


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## Paco Dennis (Oct 22, 2022)

Thanks!!! Ok I'll do it. First a couple explanations. That 70th decade would make me 700 YEARS OLD! 
It is the beginning of my 6th decade. ( I think?). And I am not claiming to be a "good" person. I do not regret my past, and who am I to judge anyone including myself. But as our resident Aunt says,  **** happens to us all.


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## Paco Dennis (Oct 22, 2022)

Lewkat said:


> I have peripheral neuropathy, and I've learned for the most part to deal with it.  When it flares up, I just rest until it settles down.  It does affect my balance, though, and I'll have to use a walker very soon.
> 
> But, I enjoy life on the whole and try to occupy myself with pleasant activities.



I sometimes worry that is going to happen to me. I am having balance issues, and sprained my back a few days ago keeping upright. I can see a walker in my future. We have to learn to deal with it, and go with what is needed to keep us going. In my mind you are a warrior and you have great posts. Just like everyone also.


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## David777 (Oct 22, 2022)

Because being bad or good (whatever those terms mean), is not a factor on what randomly by chance occurs in our lives with exceptions of being formally penalized, awarded, or judged.  Otherwise good people would be setting up shop in Las Vegas. Tomorrow, any of we seniors could find out we have some mortal disease or be mutilated for life by a drunk driver.  Life isn't fair and no one gets out of here alive.


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## Gary O' (Oct 22, 2022)

@Paco Dennis 
You've been a great member here
Your posts are always on an even keel
You're sometimes lighthearted, sometime deep

Your diary will be well read

Keep a fire, brother


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## palides2021 (Oct 22, 2022)

I remember once hearing in a psychology class that we all go through issues and crises in life, it's the people who can "cope" with them that are better off. It's how we react to what life sends our way. I've been down so many times in my life, in so many ways, it's a miracle I'm alive. I keep bouncing back. Have faith in your body. Listen to it. It's trying to tell you something.


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## Warrigal (Oct 22, 2022)

@Paco Dennis, I have nothing to offer on this topic from personal experience but I have always taken inspiration from the example of others who have dealt courageously with health issues and limitations that I would find intolerable. In particular, I see children who are born disabled or different who get on with making a life from day one and I realise how lucky I have been all the days of my life.

I think the first time I was in awe of someone was when I met a friend of my grandmother, who at the age of eighteen, had been in a house fire and as a result had both legs amputated close to her hips. She lived the rest of her life on the floor without any prosthetics, never married but raised a nephew. The only task that was beyond her was putting the washing on the clothesline. For that she needed help. I cannot remember her name and I only saw her the once but to me she has always been an inspiration.

Peripheral neuropathy sucks and I will be following your accounts of your journey. 
I wish you all the qualities you need to travel as best you can into the future.


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## Llynn (Oct 22, 2022)

I always derive something relevant and interesting from your posts. No sorrow here, just an appreciation of your sharing the knowledge that life is a struggle, at times more so than at others. I joke around a lot, but that is my personal coping mechanism for dealing with pain and other ills of old age. 

“You don’t stop laughing when you grow old, you grow old when you stop laughing.” _George Bernard Shaw_


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## Kaila (Oct 22, 2022)

Thank you for the sharing here in this thread, and with us, 
@Paco Dennis 
We never know how much (or little) our sharing's with others, have a ripple effect, and help someone else, or effect them for the better, in some manner.
Just one of the phrases or comments you make, with your honesty, might help someone else, in one of so many ways.  And might help you as well.  In fact, I am certain that your writing in this thread, already has, done some of both!


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## Bella (Oct 22, 2022)

Paco Dennis said:


> *In the past 6 months I have developed nerve damage that has changed my life around. Before this happened I was active. Now, all that has come to "pause"...I hope. My disease is usually not curable. One needs to learn how to manage physical and mental/emotional suffering.
> If people are interested in my journey, I will be posting to this diary when the spirit moves me. So this is an account of my life and thoughts that begins in my 70th decade journey.
> I am needing to express this journey that has changed my ability to enjoy life like I once did. This illness could pass or they might eventually find some cure, but for now this is what it is.
> I do want you to post your thoughts/feelings when the spirit moves you. Life is filled with complex issues, and I hear of "management techniques" daily to help keep us going. We all have to find our own way to thrive. I am having a tendency to withdraw into myself and I don't not think that is the best way to go. So I am hoping that this diary will keep me open to telling what is happening in my world on our farm.*


I'll be here.


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## katlupe (Oct 23, 2022)

It helps to write about what you are going through at any given time. I don't believe you should worry about whether you are writing something that is sad or painful. Write your feelings and share it with your friends here. It helps.


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## charry (Oct 23, 2022)

It does help to write everything down in a journal dennis 
My hubby has done this for the past 10 yrs 

I often wonder also why these things happen to the nicest of  people 
Why they deserve this wonders belief 
When the low life’s out there are raving it up !!!

Stay positive and focused Dennis x


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## Paco Dennis (Oct 23, 2022)

Last night I was able to sleep 5-6 hours again in the chair. I  take the pain meds and go to bed about 10 and sleep till about 2am. Then more meds and can sleep till about 5-6am. I awake with strong pain from head to feet, but especially in my ears and sinuses. The pain med I use when needed is THC called "Blue Dream". This is strictly for relief of pain. I do not get high and don't want to. There is quite a bit of controversy about the use of marijuana. The industry is making tons of money and it's legalization may come soon.
  "Marijuana is a *Schedule I* substance under the Controlled Substances Act, meaning that it has a high potential for abuse, no currently accepted medical use in treatment in the United States, and a lack of accepted safety for use under medical supervision."
  There are medical marijuana doctors now. In Missouri you have to talk to one before you can get a license. I have one for IBS and neuropathy. It helps so much, and I do not want to take anymore prescription meds. If this illness progresses, as it often does...we will cross that bridge when it comes.  I have no desire to convince others that THC use is right for them. Everyone reacts differently to it, just as everyone reacts differently to all phenomena.
  As I grow older I recognize that there are several things that I once could do that I  can't anymore, and that is a lot. I don't mean running 2 miles, or playing tennis. I mean things like doing the dishes in one setting. Mow the lawn, do the laundry in town, shop for our groceries, even change the litter box. Patience is a virtue that eludes me, and has my whole life. Now it is a virtue that I am learning by necessity.

   Misa's son and granddaughter drove from Kansas to see her yesterday evening. It turned out to be quite an adventure. As they got near Columbia they were stopped on I-70 because of a grass fire (  & all the dry leaves on the ground also ) that was so smoky there was 0% visibility. AND it was MU's ( Big 12 ) homecoming football game and all the trimmings. They won the game and then about 1/3 of 46,000 people hit the road to go home on I-70. So they are stuck 40 miles from here. Misa was using the laptop to monitor road traffic, and find alternate routes. It was all done on our new technologies. ones and zeros. Within about an hour she guided them safely to get here.

  I use to listen to Ram Das and understood his message. He was a professor who became a Hindu/Buddhist...etc. He was articulate, and could weave together life's circumstances and then explain the mysteries of living. He wasn't everyone's cup of tea, but he was a famous speaker. He had stoke and it changed his life BIG TIME. I can relate to his experience and the challenges he faced. Here is short video of an interview with him after his stroke.
about 3 min.






I had a Zoom meeting with about 20 people sponsored by the Western Neuropathy Association ( https://pnhelp.org/ ) yesterday. Some have been struggling with this illness for 10-20 years. They still are searching for ways to cope with their conditions.  Some are severe and some are not. Some methods work for some but not for others. 

Tomorrow I might have the results of the MRI of my cervical spine and brain.


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## Ronni (Oct 23, 2022)

I am so sorry for what you’re dealing with. Pain of any description sucks, but for me, (and I don’t think I’m alone in this) unrelenting pain is the worst.

I have a high pain tolerance, but I’ve never had to deal with pain that just doesn’t quit. I’ve had some excruciating pain (tooth abscess, shingles, pinched nerve) that was so debilitating that I couldn’t focus on anything else, but it was relatively short lived…days or weeks. To live with that level of pain as a way of life is incomprehensible to me.

I don’t have any words of wisdom or advice, I just wanted you to know that I hear you and that I admire your courage.


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## feywon (Oct 23, 2022)

Aunt Mavis said:


> I wrote a book for therapy and laughs. Sometimes we tend to focus on “bad things” (guilty) because of their impact mentally and physically. Bad things happen equally to “bad people” statistically speaking.  August, September and parts of October sucked big ones for me, now it’s time to suck it up. Yikes!


My first thought was they happen to 'bad people' as often but observers prone to judgments don't notice as much or are 'glad' of it--call it 'karma'.  Whereas when it happens to someone they think of as 'good person' They somehow feel it is 'unfair'. (Welcome to incarnate life, folks.  It is not always fair.)  When bad things happen to them(us) we tend to view it thru the same lens that labels the same behavior as aggressive in others, assertive in ourselves or stubborn in others and persistent in ourselves.


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## Jules (Oct 23, 2022)

Paco Dennis said:


> So they are stuck 40 miles from here. Misa was using the laptop to monitor road traffic, and find alternate routes. It was all done on our new technologies. ones and zeros. Within about an hour she guided them safely to get here.


Well done, Misa.


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## Paco Dennis (Oct 24, 2022)

The MRI shows fusion of the C5 and C6 vertebrae. As you can see I have fixed it. ( new avatar  )  I googled it and it is possible they will suggest surgery.  So far from listening to others who have had neck surgery, I am not thrilled that it will turn out "better". Maybe someone here has had this type of surgery....how did it go for you?


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## Paco Dennis (Oct 25, 2022)

I got sick last night somehow. I got real hot, and started getting dizzy, nauseous, and felt a mild sense of vertigo. It was the first time I used melatonin in a week. I googled the side effects of melatonin and it could be I had a those side effects last night. I got to sleep around 2am in my bed and slept until 6:30. That sudden illness is gone now. After doing some research it seems like the fusion of the C5 - C6 vertebrae is important. The C-6 vertebrae, when damaged, effects neck, shoulders, EARS, and head areas. That is where there is the most pain. The cold and hot sensations continue but they seem to not be the dominant illness of what this nerve damage is doing.
  My younger brother has a terrible neck injury from football in high school. He has been in pain with it for 35 years. Has been on strong narcotics and many mental health drugs. He is a pastor at a church in California. They are very supportive of him. I have been calling him once or twice a week about this nerve damage I have now. It is a good thing that we have been talking. We were very happy as brothers growing up, and now we are "close" again through these weird circumstances.
  It is a rainy day here and the temperature dropped about 30 degrees. It will rain most of the day. I will stay busy, keep a positive attitude, and get involved in happenings around me. I guess that is about all a person can do.


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## Gardenlover (Oct 25, 2022)

@Paco Dennis, I am sorry to hear that you are going through these problems and hope you can find relief. I hope the chair you mentioned is a help to you, what kind did you get? I'm not sure why it is but nights always seem to be harder than daylight hours when you are dealing with life's issues. Maybe it's because we are more isolated during the night, it's always a relief to know dawn will soon break. With today's technology it is some comfort to know that we can reach out to one group or another 24/7, finding the groups that hold your interest is part of the challenge. Know that I am thinking about all of you sometimes even in the middle of the night.

I like the new avatar, it reminds me of the cartoon inspector gadget.


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## Knight (Oct 25, 2022)

Paco Dennis said:


> The MRI shows fusion of the C5 and C6 vertebrae. As you can see I have fixed it. ( new avatar  )  I googled it and it is possible they will suggest surgery.  So far from listening to others who have had neck surgery, I am not thrilled that it will turn out "better". Maybe someone here has had this type of surgery....how did it go for you?


I had cervical spine surgery, the pain I had before the surgery was unbearable. The surgery was from c-1 to c-7. Some parts were fused some were pinned with titanium rods.  Use of my left arm & hand disappeared, so therapy was supposed to be the solution.  The therapist told me it can take up to a year to fully recover muscle nerve damage. 

I suspect the surgeon that did my surgery was a D level surgeon.  A year later still no use & muscle tone had depleted to  a step above zero.  I say the surgeon was probably a D level because his fix left my spine with severe nerve compression between c-3 & c-6. 

I live with no use of my left arm & hand other than making the hand a nice flat surface for carrying plates to the sink after eating. I've gotten used to  the constant level 3 pain. Lucky for me  the sensory nerves that transmit that pain are still  intact 

My only reason for describing this is to ask you to do your research about any surgeon you may use to help you.


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## Paco Dennis (Oct 25, 2022)

That ol' saying "It is darkest just before dawn" has entered my mind many times over the years. Between 4am and dawn everything is so quite. It is nice to have our technology to reach out to others. The world has changed so fast that I think there is a bit of "jet" lag we feel at times. I think the rate of change effects us all in mysterious ways...different for everyone...but different.


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## palides2021 (Oct 25, 2022)

@Paco Dennis, I've had neck issues since the 90s. No surgery or narcotics since then. Even after I fell down a flight of stairs in 2008 and was told I'd be paralyzed if I fell again, I'm still going forward. Of course, I made A LOT of drastic changes and will share with you what I did (everyone is different, so they might not pertain to you, and then again...)

1) Know this, that what you used to do, you can no longer do - no lifting of anything large or heavy. My neck would tell me if I overshot that. I switched from playing viola (heavy) to violin (light). I stopped lifting my purse which was heavy. Took breaks.
2) I had dizzy spells for 9 months after my fall - found out if I move my head a certain way, they went away.
3) Discovered that when I went to a lecture, if my head was turned a certain way toward the speaker, lots of pain. So I learned to sit with my head tilted at a certain angle (I could look left but not right) and that helped.
4) I switched my chairs - no chairs with rollers. I needed to be able to sit in a chair without incurring any pain. I found an IKEA one with arm rests. Had it for over 20 yeas.
5) Pillows are vital in getting a good night's rest. Two pillows - one hard and one soft is good for me. I can sink my head on the soft one.
6) For sleep, although it doesn't bother me that I don't sleep right away, I take advantage of that time and reflect in bed. I have a notebook and write down my thoughts, and poems. It's actually a lot of fun because I can create, and I don't have anyone interfering in my thoughts. If I don't sleep all the way through, that's ok, I make up for it with a nap the next day. Don't believe in pills.

So my thoughts are, go with the flow, accept your body, don't fight it. Try to accommodate it like your best friend and lover.


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## Paco Dennis (Oct 25, 2022)

I am getting some good information from a PN member who has studied this illness for 20 years. It looks like the MRI narrowed the cause of the nerve damage. It is quite complicated, and I will need to get second opinions on if I need surgery. He told me that the MRI shows what has happened to my neck vertebrae that is causing my symptoms. I am hoping we can skip the EMG test. It can be quite painful I hear.


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## Paco Dennis (Oct 25, 2022)

@Gardenlover

We had an old comfort rocking chair and I am trying it. It is not perfect because it doesn't support my neck. I am using a big pillow for that. I am sleeping in it. It is in the living room, so our 2 cats are scratching and pawing me.  I had to sleep in my bed the last half of my rest. We talked about getting a chair last night. It might soon come to that...as @Gary O' says "things will work themselves out."


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## Gardenlover (Oct 25, 2022)

@Paco Dennis - I think a decent chair, in which one can sleep, is priceless. The older I get, the more often I sleep in a recliner. Hang in there my friend.


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## RadishRose (Oct 25, 2022)

Tell it Bro! Whenever you want.


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## Paco Dennis (Oct 26, 2022)

Finding out the results of the MRI on my spine and having it interpreted by a specialist has changed my perspective on this "PN". So I have degenerative arthritis. Don't we all? I played hard through my life and now I am 70...goes with the territory. I am ready to move on from wondering what will be, to being active, even if half of it is in the digital world like the SF.  Now I am facing some restrictions that I have to become accustomed to. Don't we all?


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## Warrigal (Oct 26, 2022)

Knight said:


> I had cervical spine surgery, the pain I had before the surgery was unbearable. The surgery was from c-1 to c-7. Some parts were fused some were pinned with titanium rods.  Use of my left arm & hand disappeared, so therapy was supposed to be the solution.  The therapist told me it can take up to a year to fully recover muscle nerve damage.
> 
> I suspect the surgeon that did my surgery was a D level surgeon.  A year later still no use & muscle tone had depleted to  a step above zero.  I say the surgeon was probably a D level because his fix left my spine with severe nerve compression between c-3 & c-6.
> 
> ...


I second that.


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## Paco Dennis (Oct 26, 2022)

It rained cats and dogs here for the past day or more and creek is still bone dry. Amazing. We were able to burn trash because it soaked the ground and dead weeds and leaves. We grind our coffee from roasted beans and I ground about 1/2 a coffee can this morning. 
  Last night I was watching a password episode with sound off. There was a celebrity women I had never seen on. After watching her for awhile I suddenly saw that she was a Gemini...through her mannerisms. What's here birthday? May 22nd. Gemini  Oh ye of little faith.


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## Jamala (Oct 26, 2022)

Paco Dennis bad things happen to both good and bad people. 
Wonderful that you have started a journal. Writing things down can be very healing. I wish you all the best


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## Paco Dennis (Oct 26, 2022)

Jamala said:


> Paco Dennis bad things happen to both good and bad people.
> Wonderful that you have started a journal. Writing things down can be very healing. I wish you all the best




Yep I know. I don't label people good and/or bad. The title of the diary is a sort of self-pity attitude. Like..."How come this happened to me?"  "This isn't fair!"  "I should be able to be my healthier self, like I used to be."...none of those sentiments are special to "me". I am very aware of that. BUT, it becomes hard for us humans when something we dislike shows upon our doorstep. I thought about changing the title to " Why do things happen to people."   That's too weird. Thanks for the reminder though. I really try to keep it in mind, but sometimes I get self centered when I feel bad and/or afraid.  Also thanks for the encouragement to continue this.


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## Beezer (Oct 26, 2022)

Bah! It's all random.

Some people win the lottery...others get devoured by a 22 foot Python.


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## Paco Dennis (Oct 27, 2022)

Today I will be mainly recuperating from a hard days night. I feel asleep yesterday afternoon and when I woke was in big pain. It lasted till about 1 in the morning. I did get about 4 1/2 hours of sleep. I am going to try to stay awake all day.  I  noticed some other members having some health problems today when I logged on. It is helpful to be able to communicate how you feel/think about your life as it really is happening to you. Ohers may not take it seriously, and joke or make light of it ( I do sometimes ), but that is not a reason for anyone to feel bad about feeling bad. We are all adults right? We have been dealing with difficult stuff our whole lives. What other people say/write about in response to something you communicate is not personal, though it may feel that way.   Everyone sees the world differently including their own body. Those that are in relatively good health can lead a fairly "normal" life. That is not so when you are hurting.


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## Paco Dennis (Oct 27, 2022)

People's lives can change in a flash. We post things that happen to others that abruptly changes one's life in a BIG way. Death changes the lives of those living, but there is a plethora of unforeseen events that change one's life not for the best. To name a few; cancer, stroke, heart attach, car accident, breaking a hip, inability to walk, being shot, rape, incest, and list goes on and on. Steven King knows most all of them.


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## Gary O' (Oct 27, 2022)

Yeah
What happens to one's plans, one's life can mess with one's perspective

I think it good to ruminate a bit
To even savor the bad, the ugly
But not excluding the good

After a time of misery, mourning, moaning, I think it best to let the good carry one thru it all

However, if the pain is constant, be it physical or mental, 
that
can become a load to bear

of which you're carrying it well

Keep a fire


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## Paco Dennis (Oct 27, 2022)

I am going to explain why/how I chose to become a monk at 36. Many others have thought seriously about leaving the world to live in solitude. After 2 failed marriages, and no longer wanting to make playing music my career, I made the decision to try it. The Church I was interested in was/is a small Buddhist group.   I took a few vows including a vow of poverty, and no accumulation of private property. There were two other monks at the time. I made a commitment to stay for 1 year. After that I would choose to stay or leave.
  The first few months were very  difficult. I had several menial tasks, and for some reason my efforts were not good enough, and it brought up a lot of anger and resentment ( my ego ). One of tasks was to shop for groceries. Another was to plan and cook meals  when it was my turn. I could cook only real basic meals, but I had to learn to really cook. Many a time they would take what I cooked and throw it in the trash, and go out to eat. Nothing I did seemed to please them.
  We have a fairly large library so I began reading many books on Buddhism, Hinduism, philosophy, history, and science. After about six months I started to feel less insecure. Suddenly one evening I realized that there was really no personal thing we call a self. I began to forget about myself and got interested in the church and it's projects. Soon I became "happy" being here. I love the forest we live on. I love the gardens we planted and learning how to preserve different foods. 
  I stayed after the year was up. I began to go out in public to library meetings, and to restaurants/bars to mingle with others. Then came the day I announced I no longer needed any teaching from the other monks. I took a  Bodhisattva vow.  For 15 years I would meet 100's of people, and get involved with those who were interested in understanding what we were doing. I did a lot of community work, even married a few couples.  
  Through the years several people have come and some have stayed for whatever time they wanted to. There have been up to 8 monks and about 20 others who lived somewhere else. When the 2 monks died I was left alone. Within about 3 months Misa moved out here. She is my mate, and there have been plenty of married monks. We never married but just the same we are in it for the long haul. Misa saw a whole new direction we might want to go in. Meetings with the board of directors and much figuring before we came up with a new plan. We would become a church that was much more like other churches and the way they operate. She also brought raising animals to the place. Which I will explain soon.


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## Mr. Ed (Oct 27, 2022)

Things are only bad by interpretation.

I wish before we are born to be able to see what kind of life we will have, then we can decide whether or not to be born. Afterare born, no choice but to ride it out.


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## Paco Dennis (Oct 28, 2022)

Mr. Ed said:


> Things are only bad by interpretation.
> 
> I wish before we are born to be able to see what kind of life we will have, then we can decide whether or not to be born. Afterare born, no choice but to ride it out.


Thanks Ed..... "Riders on the Storm".


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## Shalimar (Oct 28, 2022)

*Paco, that is very interesting about you being a monk. My late fiancé  Sifuphil, whom I met here on sf, was a Taoist monk. Obviously, he left that behind. *


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## Paco Dennis (Oct 28, 2022)

So we got the idea to enrich our soil for planting our vegetables. Misa wanted to start a Worm Farm! We studied how to start one online and ordered a bunch. This is me bringing them into the basement.

  I was 54.

The bins were old wash tubs. We filled them with peat moss, shredded newspaper, vegetable scraps, and coffee grounds. They needed light for the first few days and then the lights go out. We feed and watered them every day. 

 

We used the compost that they would make in our garden.  Then we would make a new home for them again as we did when they arrived.  Our vegetable grew about 10 to 20 % better with their compost.


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## Paco Dennis (Oct 28, 2022)

Shalimar said:


> *Pavo, that is very interesting about you being a monk. My late fiancé  Sifuphil, whom I met here on sf, was a Taoist monk. Obviously, he left that behind. *



Thank you. It was a trip. I too have "left that behind". I am very glad to have done it.


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## Paco Dennis (Oct 28, 2022)

Health update: I talked to my neurologist about the MRI results yesterday. She says my neck is arthritic, and that the "fusion" of discs is not that uncommon and I could have had it for quite awhile. She wants to do the EMG tests to see what nerves are affecting what. That happens Nov. 15th. After that I meet with her Nov. 30th. She said she wanted to let other Dr.'s take a look at all the results. Right now we are in the "discovery" of finding out what is happening. After we will talk about what to do next. She doesn't think I need surgery. She thinks that my condition is probably not going to get worse, as I have caught it in time. So I am happy with my talk with her.


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## Paco Dennis (Oct 29, 2022)

With all those extra worms we had Misa decides we could raise some chickens. We went to a county farm store and picked a variety of different kind of chicks. We first placed them inside and fed, watered, and cleaned their "pen".

  We  called all them "Jeepers".  Then we had to transform the cottage overhang into a night house and "yard "for them in a protected place. That took a lot of work. We put chicken wire all around and mounted a screen door.

 The "inner" chamber is where they roosted. We put two long "roosting branches inside and that had a door with a easy lock and a ramp with a sliding door to go in and out. There was a resident ground hog who's stomping ground was inside the inner chamber. We tried to make it leave by putting a garden house and flush him out but that didn't work. I put broken glass, barbed wire , the hottest Jalapeno peppers that were to hot for us to eat, and and a fake big snake. That got rid of it. 

They took there first trip out when they were ready to free range.

   Here are some them grown up. We got about 14 eggs per day. We occasionally had one for supper.

  Now we  planned to feed the chickens the worms from the worm farm but they wouldn't eat them.   But, it wasn't long until another idea came to farmer Misa....


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## SeniorBen (Oct 29, 2022)

Paco Dennis said:


> Yep I know. I don't label people good and/or bad. The title of the diary is a sort of self-pity attitude. Like..."How come this happened to me?"  "This isn't fair!"  "I should be able to be my healthier self, like I used to be."...none of those sentiments are special to "me". I am very aware of that. BUT, it becomes hard for us humans when something we dislike shows upon our doorstep. I thought about changing the title to " Why do things happen to people."   That's too weird. Thanks for the reminder though. I really try to keep it in mind, but sometimes I get self centered when I feel bad and/or afraid.  Also thanks for the encouragement to continue this.


You're a gifted musician, so you've had some good along with the bad. Some people only have bad, some only have good, it seems. It's all just random luck of the draw. Our bodies just seem to wear out at a certain point and there's not much we can do about it. Even the rich have to deal with that fact of life. Steve Jobs was only 56 years old when he died, and he was a multi-billionaire.

I hope you're able to still play your guitar.


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## Paco Dennis (Oct 29, 2022)

Now that the chickens and worms were secured, Misa started getting interested in the American Guinea Hog. Small, docile, good mothers, lard hogs, and they were only about a dozen breeders and  fewer than 200 hogs. She found a male and female about 100 miles north of us. Here they are when she brought them home in cages.

 We refurbished the other side of the cottage/chicken pen. We made three pens out of pallets we got from the Universities farm nearby. In about 7 months she ( Binki ) had some piglets.

 They loved rooting and eating all kinds of everything. They clear the ground, then you have to move the pens. It took awhile to figure out how to keep them in their pens. Here a couple of them lifting up heavy cattle panels and slipping right out to freedom. 

 We raised up to 24 at one point. We slaughtered and butchered them ourselves. We had meat year round, and a few real nice barbeques.  This is Frida that finally could get a bite out of this huge pumpkin.

 If you would like to know about this breed here is a good site. ( The picture of the male hog on the page looks almost identical to ours ( named him Banker ). 

https://livestockconservancy.org/heritage-breeds/heritage-breeds-list/american-guinea-hog/

  THEN she wanted goats. She researched many breeds and decided on Kinder goats.


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## Paco Dennis (Oct 30, 2022)

We had a lot of goats. We built a milk stand. Milked two or three goats twice a day, plus doing a half day of working in town. Pigs, chickens, and goats everywhere. That is when the "farm" was in full swing. We did have some help from friends also. About half our food came from the farm. Since then we have aged and the animals have mainly gone on. We have 2 goats, 2 chickens, and 2 cats now.


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## dobielvr (Oct 30, 2022)

Paco Dennis said:


> Health update: I talked to my neurologist about the MRI results yesterday. She says my neck is arthritic, and that the "fusion" of discs is not that uncommon and I could have had it for quite awhile. She wants to do the EMG tests to see what nerves are affecting what. That happens Nov. 15th. After that I meet with her Nov. 30th. She said she wanted to let other Dr.'s take a look at all the results. Right now we are in the "discovery" of finding out what is happening. After we will talk about what to do next. She doesn't think I need surgery. She thinks that my condition is probably not going to get worse, as I have caught it in time. So I am happy with my talk with her.


I have arthritis in my neck and fusion of a couple of vertebrae.
No pain, just tightness, in that area.

It's been like that for awhile and hasn't gotten any worse.

I really hope everything works out for you, and you come away w/a good plan that will give you some quality of life..


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## Paco Dennis (Oct 31, 2022)

I am coming to terms with this illness. Like those who have to deal with pain all over the world, and on the SF. I hope I am getting past the "shock" stage. The rainy cold weather has notched things up a bit. I find that staying active is a key to managing pain. I got my Covid booster on Saturday morning. THAT was an experience. It was a drive thru. I got there 3 minutes after it opened and there were already about 100 cars winding through the parking lot. It took about 45 minutes to get to the station, and 10minutes to get the shot. It WAS the last Saturday of their Covid supply for now.

  I found an interesting YouTube channel. It is called "The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows"

_"Description : A compendium of invented words written by John Koenig, that aims to fill holes in the language—to give a name to emotions we all feel but don't have a word for. The author's mission is to capture the aches, demons, vibes, joys and urges that roam the wilderness of the psychological interior. Each sorrow is bagged, tagged and tranquilized, then released gently back into the subconscious."_

https://www.youtube.com/c/obscuresorrows/featured

An example short video... 




On a much lighter and more upbeat note...it's Halloween!  Finally!  Have a joy filled day. "Let the sun shine through"


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## OneEyedDiva (Oct 31, 2022)

Good for you for not wanting to host a pity party Paco! There are plenty more topics on here besides those of happiness and joy. In fact, I've noticed that the ones not about those things usually get more replies than the feel good ones. I hope you find solutions that will help ease your pain. I don't know if you believe in prayer but unless you tell me not to, I will pray for you. The other option would be to send up positive vibes.   I will be interested in reading whatever you care to write about my friend.


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## Paco Dennis (Nov 1, 2022)

Yesterday was tough. The pinched nerve was acting up...painful for most of the day. I started using Capzasin on it and it helps. I got an unexpected call from the Orthopedic Center. The referral from the neurologist to examine the MRI is already scheduled for tomorrow morning!! I am looking forward to what they have to say. Misa can go with me ( not working ) so there are two minds there...well 1 and 1/2. She is still cogent. 

I love November. For me it is a time to relax, and enjoy what ever you like., with moderation. We can see the forest now, not just the trees. I start thinking in broader ways. It also is packed with celebrations for me. My daughter, Tamara, will turn 47 Nov. 27th. My son, Nathan, will turn 45, on Nov. 21st, with Thanksgiving falling in there somewhere.


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## OneEyedDiva (Nov 2, 2022)

I love how you are focusing on things other than your pain. So this is your month to enjoy celebrations. I'm glad you're finding something that helps Paco. Have you tried meditation? I wonder if that would benefit at all....also wondering if acupuncture helps in situations like yours.   I know you'll keep us posted about your MRI results. Glad you didn't have to wait long at all. And to answer the question in the subject matter of this post...I've been asking the same question for years.


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## Paco Dennis (Nov 3, 2022)

The doctor does not think I need surgery but does see how the nerves in my neck are causing pain. I won't get technical about that stuff. He referred me to start Physical therapy. They already called and I will schedule that this morning. I am having quite a bit of pain and not sleeping well, but I am coming to terms with this. So many other people are suffering far worse things than I am. So I am determined to stay positive and then if I need a break, take it and rest. Thanks for all the helpful posts. They do mean a lot to me. I also wondered if talking out loud as if I was talking to a friend might be helpful. So I will be trying that today if needed....another tool in the toolbox. 
  I called my daughter yesterday out of the blue. I had such a clear image of her that I wanted to contact her. We haven't talked on the phone for almost 5 years. I debated for awhile whether to tell my children about this illness, but most everyone I asked said yes you should keep your grown children informed. It is another change in life when you tell your children you have problems with your health. I didn't want her to be too concerned. She has a full plate as it is. But it seems like it is the best thing to do. Not telling her ( and my son ) seemed like I felt more distant from them. She will call at 10 this morning.


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## katlupe (Nov 3, 2022)

So glad that you called your daughter! Maybe talking to her on the phone more often would be helpful to you. I hope you have a good phone call at ten!


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## Paco Dennis (Nov 4, 2022)

It was more than interesting talking with Tamara. She was concerned about my illness and we talked about that for awhile, and then the bombshell/s. I haven't talked or had any exchange from my son in about 10 years. Tamara told me that is when he had a bad accident that injured his back severely. He couldn't work, or do other regular stuff. Within 6 months of his injury his wife left him and divorced him. She had sent me a holiday picture of him at a get together and he looked downtrodden and not like I had ever seen him before. Now I know why. What a mess, and a delicate situation for me to reenter his life now. I am going to let this develop without pushing any contact. I care for him so much....Then she tells me that my x-wife ( their mother ) who remarried for the 3rd time a few years ago is divorced again and alone on a big farm. The guy just left. So my thoughts about how they all were doing was refreshed into a whole different world. I feel like opening up to my daughter and hopefully my son will open some new doors.  I am a little insecure about reentering their lives, but their kids are almost raised now, and so much has changed. Tamara might want my grandkids to talk with me. We have a tentative time to call...the weekend of the 13th.  
  I just made an appointment to see a specialist for my ears and sinuses ( ENT ). It will January 6th!!!!! She said call my primary, neurologist, or go to the hospital if my pain gets too bad. OK.  I don't have very much confidence that this ordeal will be "fixed" any time soon. That is ok with me now. I think I have the tools to ride this out. 
  Isn't it such a mystery that we have had whole phases of our lives that we almost were a different person. This latter stage is just as challenging and interesting.


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## katlupe (Nov 5, 2022)

It sounds like it is time for you to reenter their lives. No matter what age, kids always need their parents.


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## Paco Dennis (Nov 7, 2022)

I was wondering if there were new mental tools to apply to my current life style change. I found an interesting article that resonated with me.

_"to adopt a new lifestyle change; there are three levels to approach it:  one more superficial level that is defined by the outcome that we want to attain, like losing weight, becoming more physically active, or dealing better with emotions. A deeper level involves focusing on the process of achieving that change, like joining a fitness class, adopting a new way of eating or starting a meditation practice. Finally, the deepest level is to change our identity, related to what we want to accomplish.  "

When we want to change things in life that are difficult, like living with heavy emotional patterns, a new life situation like a divorce, or the loss of someone we care about, it requires a significant amount of self-reflection about the person we want to become. Once you define the belief you want to adopt, you go back to the question:  Am I acting in a way that relates to that belief? Who is the type of person that achieves the outcome I want?

I feel that his approach of paying attention right at the point of contact with life about how our beliefs shape our actions is a way of meditation:  A deep observation of life. It goes beyond thinking about how it feels in your body and your gut/heart. Identity-based changes require determination, work, and an environment of silence and nonreactivity.

I feel that true lifestyle change is identity change: if you want something to stick with you, it must be part of who you are.  This principle is powerful as it applies to everything:  you’re eating, your physical activity, your relationships …everything."_

https://connect.mayoclinic.org/blog...racing-a-lifestyle-change-in-a-different-way/

We use many ways to adapt to life's changes. I will be experimenting with "seeing" myself as I want to "be". Then playing the part. We are all but actors on a stage.


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## JimBob1952 (Nov 7, 2022)

Paco Dennis said:


> In the past 6 months I have developed nerve damage that has changed my life around. It developed slowly and now I am confined to a comfort chair. I can exercise for about 1/2 an hour before the pain and fatigue get me to sit down again.
> 
> Before this happened I was active. I worked around the farm. I enjoyed friends and family visits. I listened and created music. My life was going ok. Now, all that has come to "pause"...I hope. My disease is usually not curable. One needs to learn how to manage physical and mental/emotional suffering. There are many helpful methods ( many are discussed on this forum ).
> 
> ...



Paco,

My friend and next door neighbor suffers from peripheral neuropathy. It has transformed him from a big, athletic guy to a different person.  He gets around with a cane but it is not the same. 

I have no medical advice to give.  Keep talking, keep posting, stay as mentally active as you can, and keep fighting the problem. 

One suggestion -- I don't know if you are a game player -- but I enjoy online bridge and chess.  There are classes and lessons for all levels.

Good luck and we will continue the conversation.

JimBob


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## Pepper (Nov 7, 2022)

katlupe said:


> It sounds like it is time for you to reenter their lives. No matter what age, kids always need their parents.


I call for my mother every day and always feel she is near and waiting for me.


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## katlupe (Nov 7, 2022)

Pepper said:


> I call for my mother every day and always feel she is near and waiting for me.


I feel that same way too. She is still always with me.


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## RadishRose (Nov 7, 2022)

@Paco, I hope you have a gentle new beginning with your kids. They still need their father's love.


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## TeaBiscuit (Nov 8, 2022)

Paco Dennis said:


> I debated for awhile whether to tell my children about this illness, but most everyone I asked said yes you should keep your grown children informed. It is another change in life when you tell your children you have problems with your health.


My dad had lung cancer and I didn't know. The doctor told me when my dad was in the hospital dying of blood poisoning due to another ongoing health issue (one that most of the people on his side of the family suffer from, including me). I was shocked. And then on top of that, I had to make the decision to end his life. It was a truly awful time. When I got home, the first thing I did was ask my children if they would want to know about any eventual health problems I might have. They said yes. I also told them that when the time comes, if they have to make the decision to pull the plug, just do it and don't ever feel bad about it. 

I know why my dad didn't tell me about the cancer. He thought he was protecting me. I was angry about that for a long time. I would think to myself that if had known, I could have spent more time with him. And then I would feel angry with myself and guilty because why should I need a health crisis to spend time with my father? He raised me. He was my only parent. He was a great guy and I loved him a lot. I dealt with so many messy emotions after he passed. It took me a long time to work through them. I'd never want that for my children. There are opportunities for knowledge and growth everywhere. Sadly, some of them aren't always pleasant.


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## Teacher Terry (Nov 8, 2022)

Dennis, I have used both massages and acupuncture for chronic back and neck pain. It might be worth a try to see if it helped. So glad you are reconnecting with your kids.


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## Paco Dennis (Nov 10, 2022)

We are going to talk again this Sunday.  I am starting to realize that PN is going to be with me for awhile. Also I am finding out how flexible I have to be to let new things happen. If I stay to nervous about change it actually produces a lot of stress. I think I have the schedule that will make my day, but then stuff doesn't go the way I thought it would, then it is time to change plans.


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## Paco Dennis (Nov 11, 2022)

I read through the diaries and enjoyed each person's posts. I am trying to stay awake after only geetting a few hours sleep last night. If I nap in the afternoon for 1 or 2 hours, when I awake the pain level is about 9. It is horrible, and I it lasts along time. So today I am staying awake by writing here.
  I was thinking about my 35 years as a housecleaner. I was a musician, and carpenter/cabinet maker, and learned to houseclean from a friend. I first charged by the hour, and quickly learned to bid the house by a single price. I do my thing, if you like it, good. I made very good money at some jobs, and some I didn't. The best part about cleaning houses is how different each house is. The neighborhood, the houses layout, the designs and paintings and furniture all told a story of these people. I enjoyed getting to know them through their "possessions", and then talking to them personally. I never pried into anyone's private stuff. I never stole a penny. I did eat some goodies out of the frig, or on the kitchen table.  I worked for Dr.'s and lawyers. For loads of those with both people working and I worked for very poor people, often for free. It was a very good exercise also. I treated my activity of motions as a way of exercising. Of course there are many positions you can be in to exercise while doing all the sweeping, dusting, scrubbing, polishing, and vacuuming. I was eating well at he monastery and had very good exercise. And then I got old.


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## RadishRose (Nov 11, 2022)

Paco Dennis said:


> I read through the diaries and enjoyed each person's posts. I am trying to stay awake after only geetting a few hours sleep last night. If I nap in the afternoon for 1 or 2 hours, when I awake the pain level is about 9. It is horrible, and I it lasts along time. So today I am staying awake by writing here.
> I was thinking about my 35 years as a housecleaner. I was a musician, and carpenter/cabinet maker, and learned to houseclean from a friend. I first charged by the hour, and quickly learned to bid the house by a single price. I do my thing, if you like it, good. I made very good money at some jobs, and some I didn't. The best part about cleaning houses is how different each house is. The neighborhood, the houses layout, the designs and paintings and furniture all told a story of these people. I enjoyed getting to know them through their "possessions", and then talking to them personally. I never pried into anyone's private stuff. I never stole a penny. I did eat some goodies out of the frig, or on the kitchen table.  I worked for Dr.'s and lawyers. For loads of those with both people working and I worked for very poor people, often for free. It was a very good exercise also. I treated my activity of motions as a way of exercising. Of course there are many positions you can be in to exercise while doing all the sweeping, dusting, scrubbing, polishing, and vacuuming. I was eating well at he monastery and had very good exercise. And then I got old.


Interesting Paco. I didn't know you were a household engineer! Gosh, I wish I could have you to help me clean/organize.

Yes, it does feel more painful after we sleep for awhile. Mornings are so difficult. I hope you can get a full night sleep and only have bad pain once.


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## Paco Dennis (Nov 12, 2022)

I would of loved cleaning your house @RadishRose!  I didn't know you had pain while you slept....sorry. I have been using a Capzasin patch that works for 8 hours. It helps. Last night I slept a little better. I will stay up today again...those naps are too much. The weather here is nuts! It dropped 40 degrees in one day! It is going to 19F tonight. We are ready for it. Vehicles, and wood...that is enough to get us through what looks like a pretty tough winter.
 I have WNA ( Western Neuropathy Association ) Zoom support group today at 1pm. I will be asking some questions today that I hope will help me find more tools to manage this.  I have had many injuries, illnesses, operations, that I have been able to get through. This one is different. I am hoping the constant nerve pain in my neck will get better, but I am not sure it will. There is no cure for this, and we are working to get this classified as a disability. There was a 22 year old that could barely feel his feet and he has to drive to work. This serious pain and debilitation for many people.


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## RadishRose (Nov 12, 2022)

Paco Dennis said:


> I would of loved cleaning your house @RadishRose!  I didn't know you had pain while you slept....sorry. I have been using a Capzasin patch that works for 8 hours. It helps. Last night I slept a little better. I will stay up today again...those naps are too much. The weather here is nuts! It dropped 40 degrees in one day! It is going to 19F tonight. We are ready for it. Vehicles, and wood...that is enough to get us through what looks like a pretty tough winter.
> I have WNA ( Western Neuropathy Association ) Zoom support group today at 1pm. I will be asking some questions today that I hope will help me find more tools to manage this.  I have had many injuries, illnesses, operations, that I have been able to get through. This one is different. I am hoping the constant nerve pain in my neck will get better, but I am not sure it will. There is no cure for this, and we are working to get this classified as a disability. There was a 22 year old that could barely feel his feet and he has to drive to work. This serious pain and debilitation for many people.


I don't have pain while asleep...it's getting up that's painful. I have some arthritis, but you have a nerve condition. I'm so sorry. I hope your zoom meeting is productive.

Your weather is crazy! 40 degree drop in one day, wow. You sound prepared for it, tho'. 

Feel better, my friend.


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## Paco Dennis (Nov 13, 2022)

I talked to my Tamara, Arthur, and Elliot all at once this morning. They all picked up when I called! What a surprise. We talked for about an hour, and now we are going to exchange email addresses. Connecting with voice is really more intimate. The boys new some interesting historical "facts" that surprised me. They must have good teachers. Arthur really likes his piano teacher. He has been playing for about 9 years...he is going to be 16 this Dec.. He gave a performance at his church with full attendance. WOW! He said he is learning some Jazz, and Beatle tunes ( Tamara's favorite group ). He will concentrate his time on School work, piano, and cross country this year he said. He seems like a very engaged dude.  Elliot is a little blast to talk to. He was Harry Potter the WIZARD for Halloween. He loves reading, especially fantasy adventures. He loves all kinds of sports. He got his tooth knocked out playing football. His Dad was a very good fullback. So me thinks his Dad, though keeping them very safe, keeps his children active. I don't think they are any mass media sites...I will have to ask. Another small step for man, and a giant leap for Paco.


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## Paco Dennis (Nov 14, 2022)

My son Nathan replied to my text!! We are back communicating also. I couldn't be happier. He is a guitar player. I gave him lessons for about 6 months, and he just took off. He reminds me a bit of George Harrison's style. He does what fits just right for the song. Here is a new song with his band on Spotify...  




  I have referral for physical therapy. I called and they told me I had to Fax them the order...physically or bring it to their office. ( 40 miles round trip ). I tried an online fax service through my Proton mail account. It cost $2.I sure hope it works.   ( It did and made an appointment for Dec. 6th.)

  I also slept 6 hours straight last night, even though the day was kinda rough. I can't figure this PN out. I have to go with the flow.


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## Paco Dennis (Nov 16, 2022)

I had the EMG study Tuesday. It took about an hour for them to shock a bunch of nerves ( It was OK ), and then the Dr. came in and did some more testing. He then proceeded to tell Misa, not me what he thought was going on. He barely listened to what I was saying and skipped my main concerns to lecture us on what he thought was happening. The information was not unexpected. We knew that my neck nerve being pinched WAS Not causing the numbness in my hands, but that is what he wanted to talk about. Then he offered more Gabapentin, of which I declined.  I have heard many a PN patient report that heir visit to the neurologist was/is unsatisfactory. They said you have to shop around until you find dr.'s that really get involved with listening to you. Most just follow some protocol that fits a tidy diagnosis and plan. This is becoming an increasing problem as Dr.'s become scarce and the patient population grows.


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## Pinky (Nov 16, 2022)

Paco Dennis said:


> I had the EMG study Tuesday. It took about an hour for them to shock a bunch of nerves ( It was OK ), and then the Dr. came in and did some more testing. He then proceeded to tell Misa, not me what he thought was going on. He barely listened to what I was saying and skipped my main concerns to lecture us on what he thought was happening. The information was not unexpected. We knew that my neck nerve being pinched WAS Not causing the numbness in my hands, but that is what he wanted to talk about. Then he offered more Gabapentin, of which I declined.  I have heard many a PN patient report that heir visit to the neurologist was/is unsatisfactory. They said you have to shop around until you find dr.'s that really get involved with listening to you. Most just follow some protocol that fits a tidy diagnosis and plan. This is becoming an increasing problem as Dr.'s become scarce and the patient population grows.


@Paco Dennis 
It bothers me that your doctor spoke directly to Misa, rather than to you .. the one with the pain. _Some_
doctors need to learn to _listen better!_


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## Paco Dennis (Nov 23, 2022)

I have a Neurologist appointment in a week. We will go over the information from the MRI, x-rays, and EMG. I am looking forward to what she thinks is going on. I bought a neti-pot this morning to help with my sinus/ear pain. I am sleeping about 5 hours a night with pretty high pan until I take some meds. It is not easy feeling chipper when my body is hurting. I try not to lose the opportunity when something interesting blows my way though. Life is such a complex mixture of emotions, fragrances, colors, that I don't want to settle into a groove that gets worn to deep to get out of. There are a multitude of different viewpoints about what our world is like, and each of them valid to the beholder.


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## Paco Dennis (Nov 25, 2022)




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## Paco Dennis (Dec 2, 2022)

Misa thinks she will be quitting Dollar General in a couple months. She will need to find a new job somewhere....

Update on the Peripheral Neuropathy. I saw my neurologist Wednesday and we talked over the results of the MRI and EMG tests. My neck is arthritic and will need some PT. It is not the cause of the pain and burning in my ears, sinuses, abdomen, and legs. I have an appointment with an ENT doc Jan.6th.  From what I can tell from being on zoom support groups for several months is that PN can happen to anybody at anytime, have totally different symptoms, and very few cases are cured....we learn to manage the symptoms. Now, after the meeting with the neurologist, I feel like I need to accept fully that this condition is permanent. That means I have to learn a new way of living. 

Exercise regularly
Stay active mentally and emotionally
Enjoy things you like, and be grateful for what you have
Eat healthy
 ( This sounds like the regular life advice for all the SF members. )


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## hearlady (Dec 2, 2022)

Life is not always joy. You seem realistic that it comes with pain and sorrow also.
So good of you to share so that it might help others.


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## katlupe (Dec 3, 2022)

Dr. Ken Berry has a good video on YouTube about Peripheral Neuropathy. I also watched one on Bob & Brad Physical Therapists have some on exercises to do to help.


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## Paco Dennis (Dec 3, 2022)

katlupe said:


> Dr. Ken Berry


  I have been eating a Keto diet , strictly, for about a year. I still do. I know you are on the Keto diet as are a few others on the forum. It cured my IBS, and I lost 35 lbs. I felt great. I will continue to stay on the Keto diet, and I am scheduled for physical therapy this week. Thanks for you input!!


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