# Christmas



## Anne

Have you started??  Just placed an order, and should be almost done. Thinking of money and/or gift cards when I figure out what stores would be best.
Used my survey $$ for some, and hope to make enough to cover it all - if I'm lucky.  

I know; it's not even Thanksgiving yet, but if I wait too long, some things may not be available...that's what happened last year.


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## SeaBreeze

You're smart to get an early start Anne, makes Christmas much less stressful, and enjoyable as it should be.  It's just me and hubby here, so we don't really do anything special on Christmas, except send cards to family and friends.  I have a tiny little ceramic Christmas tree that I plug in and set on the stereo cabinet.  I'll playfully complain to hubby that I have to put up the tree again, lol. :christmas2:


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## Pappy

We quit sending cards a couple years ago. My pic shows the extent of our Christmas decorating. Wifey and I usually go out for a nice meal.


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## JustBonee

Most years, I am well under way with the shopping .. this year, nothing! ... but the house decorating  has begun...


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## That Guy

It's only November Fifth.  NO!


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## SifuPhil

Total non-event for me.


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## rkunsaw

We don't do Christmas except to send out cards so our friends and family will know we're still alive.


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## Warrigal

We get together as a family - all the grandkids are grown up now - and play a game called "stealing Santa". It's like a Kris Kringle only more boisterous. Everyone brings a cheap wrapped present which may be attractive, quirky or a total embarrassment. Taking it is turns, each player may select a present from the pile and unwrap it, or they may steal a previously unwrapped present from someone else. No-one knows what they will eventually take home and the interactions can get quite frisky. The kids love it.


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## seabreezy

I love the holidays, but they are a dreaded time for  me and Tony.  I'm tired of having to figure out who's home we will go to, what we will buy for everyone. It's just too much drama and i'm tired of it all.  If I tell my family that we aren't coming to their house for Christmas/Thanksgiving...the reaction is usually "we can plan for another day" , so it seems there is almost no getting out of it. We've thought about telling everyone we are going out of town (and not really go), but again, the old, we can plan another day will kick in, lol.  Tony gets frustrated because it's as if my family forgets that he has kids that he wants to spend time with..well they aren't kids but adults, but still....
We aren't sure if we will even buy gifts this year,  we really can't afford to, and it's just too much hassle to figure out what to buy...some are impossible to buy for.  My thinking is that everyone in the family is adult, except for my two nephews, so most everyone probably has what they need or want, and if they do need or want something, they most likely will at some point buy it, so why should we buy gifts that will eventually find their way into a dark closet on the top shelf collecting dust?  For me, just having a family dinner would be gift enough...but then along with that comes the frustration of WHERE to go! It's a never ending vicious circle.  I'm at my wits end anymore as to what to do.fff::banghead:


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## Judi.D

I love Christmas, but not the commercialism. I enjoy decorating, and put up a live tree every year. I call it my memory tree. It is covered in ornaments that belonged to my grandmothers, mother, ones my daughter made and my grandchildren. For years I told my students to give me ornaments for a present. I use to put up a tree in every room, now I only do one big one.

Last year I played Mrs. Claus and helped Santa pass out gifts to the needy children in town. My grandchildren were elfs and helped. However, the town wanted to update Mrs. Claus' look and ordered a new costume. It made me look like an old Christmas hooker. We were able to make it a little more presentable though Santa seemed to really like it.

I know some of you are gagging right now. But I think people are a little kinder and compassionate this time of year.


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## Pappy

Anyone have one of these left? This aluminum tree usually had a color wheel that changed the colors of the tree as it turned.
near as I can figure, this pic was taken in the fifties by my grandma. On the right is my grandpa and my uncle Len. Don' t know who is on left.


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## JustBonee

People do seem to mellow out and act nicer to each other as the holidays near. 

This video is Elvis' song, but whoever put it together goofed at the end.  "Marry" Christmas ?  oh well .....


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## TICA

I like Christmas!!!!      Things have changed over the years as when my children were young we lived on the opposite side of the country from all of the family so we have our own traditions and still do them.  We don't go overboard with presents, a few small things each and usually something we can all use.  This year it will be presents for the barn (if it ever gets built) - 1st aid kit for the horses, saddle racks etc.    My son's gift is usually his plane ticket home.  We'll have a small turkey on Christmas day and then if he isn't here for it, will do another one when he does get here.  We did the same thing when he lived at home and my daughter lived in Montreal.  

Christmas for us is spending some time together, stuffing our faces, watching some old classic Christmas movies and playing some cards or a board game.   If my mother is feeling up to it, I'll bring her out for dinner and if not, we'll take it to her on Boxing day.  She usually goes to my sister's on Christmas day but not sure if that will happen this year.  My brother in law passed away suddenly last March and this year will be a rough one for my sister and her children and grandchild.  I feel so bad for them - everything this year will be different without him.

We go to our property and chop down a tree and bring it home and trim it up with decorations that are years old.  Most are ones the kids made 30 years ago (guess they aren't kids anymore) lol.

I don't put up any decorations until at least December 1st but I do like doing it!


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## Judi.D

I think I love it as much as I always have. I have just pared it down to what was really important to me, like my memory tree. I told my family that at this point I want only consumable presents.


I too love thrift shops and consignment shops. I find so many really neat things. I also see a lot of new things that I am sure were gifts for mom, dad, grandma, and grandpa. You know those gifts you get because someone feels they have to give you a gift. I try to give consumable gifts or gifts I have made. Now that I am retired I have more time. 

There are so many great ideas on the internet for simple gifts that people really appreciate.


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## seabreezy

I think for me, most of my negativity comes from Thanksgiving and Christmas to have ALWAYS been a big stressful thing for me. I don't remember much about Christmas when I was a kid since Dad was in the Navy, we were usually in some foreign country. Most of my memories come when I see a picture of our Christmases from back then.  Then when I was married to my first husband, his family was such a stickler for the holiday to be celebrated on the actual day of, there was no compromise with that, so my family was always the afterthought so it seemed. I cannot tell you how I hated that, and I had NO support at all from my then husband. So for me, I just had to go along with what they all wanted and then we planned the day of or the day after with my parents.  I always have felt that my own children probably don't remember much about Christmas at our house, but most of their memories are at my ex's parent's home. Christmas morning was always rushed through for us so that we could hurry up and get to the grandparent's house. His sister would always call and ask when we are coming. And it really did no good for  me to complain. (just one of the many reasons he is now my EX, lol)  I did fight tooth and nail one year, and got my family and his family together for a Christmas dinner, but that didn't work either. My husband at the time had to work Christmas Day, but everyone was at our house for the day, with me trying to keep it all together. He wasn't getting off work until 7 that night, and at about 5 pm my dad starting complaining that he thought we should all go ahead and eat and hubby could eat when he gets home. I wanted to wait until he got home so he could be a part of the festivities, but dad, being the way he was/is, kept on until I just finally had enough so we ate, but I waited for hubby and ate with him.  Needless to say we didn't do Christmas at my house again.  
Now that i'm remarried (right man this time..hehe) he goes with whatever I want to do, but I also know he has his family (kids, brother) that he wants to spend time with. They all live close to us, so seeing them is not that much problem. One of his sons is married so his wife now has her family to consider as well.  And then there is still my family with all their requests and demands.  My parents are the kind of people that is you don't do something, they take it personal, as if it  means you don't want to be with them.  We stayed home last year for Christmas, and they all came here for the day, and that was nice. It's hard to make plans with my Mom because she spends most of her time taking care of my grandmother (her mom), who has Alzheimer's terribly. So it's hard for her to get away, even though there are Mom's siblings who can help, most of them don't, or only when when it's convenient for them.  It's just easier for her if everyone goes to their house, which is an hour and a half from us, for my brother and his family it's about 3 hours. So we are kind of in the middle of the two.  The whole day is just rushed, and stressful. For me, it just feels like it's what we are supposed to do because it's Christmas. And I honestly don't enjoy that at all. My daughter and her family live in Virginia, and she has chosen not to be in my life for about the last 10 years now, and my son, lives 5 or 6 miles from me, but we don't see him often, even though we get along just fine. So for us to see him over the holiday is a hit or miss kind of thing. 
   This year is especially hard for us financially so we really don't need to buy any gifts, but i'm sure like others mentioned here, even requesting no gifts, there will be some who will still give us gifts.  We had debt that we are trying to pay off, and don't need to go into more to buy gifts.  I just can't take all the frustration, and i'm already feeling it!


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## That Guy

I refuse to think about or discuss Christmas until late into December.  (Darn, I just did!)


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## Judi.D

Wow Seabreezy no wonder you do not like the holidays. Funny there are some similarities in our childhood. My dad was in the Marine Corps and it seems like we were always moving. I went to 12 different schools all over the country in 12 years. It is hard in some ways growing up as a military brat. Mom was always trying to have a Norman Rockwell Thanksgiving and Christmas. It always seemed to end up more like an episode from ALL in the Family. Mom would have a melt down and end up going to bed with one of her headaches. Then the three of us would have to be very quiet so not disturb her. You can probably imagine how that usually ended up. However, I do have 2 great memories.

When I got married we use to have 5 Thanksgiving dinners, 3 on Thanksgiving Day and 2 the next day. I love turkey but really started to hate it. Everyone would get offended because I didn't get seconds. The same thing happened at Christmas. We were trying to keep everybody happy, and actually no one was happy especially us.  We did this for 5 horrible years. Finally we realized there was no way to keep them all happy, but we could make us happy. We stopped doing it, the first year a lot of people were upset, but we were really happy. A lot less stress and a lot less turkey. We ended up getting divorced, when our daughter was 6. I was a single parent for years and it was very difficult at times. when my daughter was 15 she went to live with her father because she wanted to drop out of school and I wouldn't let her and he would. I finally found a wonderful man and we were together for 10 years before he was killed in an auto accident.

I too am estranged from my daughter. However, I do get to see my grandkids a lot because she lives close by. I do not ever talk with her and right now that is ok. She recently got married and I wasn't invited. In fact I had taken the kids to Washington, DC and they didn't get to go either. They didn't even find out about it until we go back.

I think it is great that you are working on getting out of debt. I would explain briefly and say no gifts. There will be some who will do it anyway. Just say thank you and don't feel guilty.

By the way I live in SC too.


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## nan

We don't decorate the house any more, and usually go to one of the kids homes for the day, I think this year we are going to go to a local park with a playground so the little ones can have fun on the equipment, just hoping now that it won't be too hot.


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## Anne

Katybug said:


> Good for you, Anne, you the first one I've heard say "almost done."  Lucky lady to have most of it behind you!
> 
> Just have to ask, did you do a forum group/marketing research study or did you do an on-line survey for pay?  I used to participate in forum groups all the time.  There are lots of marketing research companies here and they kept me busy in the evenings.  But I've apparently aged out.  They rarely call anymore and if they do it's one being done during the day when I'm working.



So far, I've only done the online ones, and yes, they do drop you when you get older - AS IF we don't also spend money??!!!  I see some surveys allow 13 and older - apparently they are the ones buying these days; don't know.....or Mom and Dad are buying for them.  
I've done a couple phone surveys; and they usually pay pretty well, but are few and far between.


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## Anne

Pappy, your place looks so cozy, and I love the decoration & tree.  We have a little one we put up, but that's about all the decor seen around here.   Oh, and I remember the aluminum trees, too.  Never had one, but we did have a flocked tree for a couple of years.
Also noticed Grandpa has a cigarette; lol   I see a lot of those in old pictures; these days, rarely.  

Someone mentioned Elvis - I can't think of anyone who could put their whole heart and soul into their music...whether it was rock and roll, or religious hymns.  That was what made him seem so special to me.


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## Fern

"Only send out cards" , Love that idea. 
Xmas has become a non event. I'll be glad when it's over. But I did make things a bit easier for myself by shopping online, yeah the best thing since sliced bread.


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## Anne

How would any of you feel about getting or giving food as a gift for Christmas??  Just thinking it might be a good idea; since everyone's a bit strapped for money these days.
Especially if you have kids & grandkids - getting either groceries, or gift certs to a store might not be such a bad idea, for the parents anyway.  Don't suppose children would appreciate that much.


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## Pappy

Our kids insist on giving us something so a couple years ago we told them to give us gift cards. This way we will get something we need or want instead of some trinket that will end up in a lawn sale someday.


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## Judi.D

Here is another idea. I do give a lot of food gifts, but I am not a great cook. These days I have friends and family that have to eat special diets. As some of you may know these foods generally cost more. Sugar free for the diabetic that still loves sweets. Organic food for my best friend who can't take all the chemicals that are added to foods these days. My sister-in-law has just been told by her doctor that she needs to go gluten free, and is feeling very down about it. So starting in July when I go grocery shopping I get a few nonperishable items they can eat. It doesn't raise my grocery bill much and by Christmas I have a nice collection for each. Then I throw in a few perishables and a magazine or book about eating this way. I put it in a gift bag for them for Christmas.


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## JustBonee

Pappy said:


> Our kids insist on giving us something so a couple years ago we told them to give us gift cards. This way we will get something we need or want instead of some trinket that will end up in a lawn sale someday.




Same here ... my kids always want to give something.  I tell them I would love pictures best of all ... from school activities of their kids,  or vacation/traveling pictures from throughout the year..  That's my favorite gift.


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## Anne

Well, I am pretty close to done...when I get all the orders, I'll likely get a gift card or two and that's it for this year.  I just might put up the little tree right after Thanksgiving, and send out a few Christmas cards, too.

No plans for Thanksgiving as yet; would kinda like to save all the festivities for Christmas, but looks like DH wants to do the usual dinner, so we'll see.


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## That Guy

I will discuss Christmas with you in about one month on 12/15.  Then, the season begins.  Not now when it ain't even Thanksgiving, yet.


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## Anne

That Guy said:


> I will discuss Christmas with you in about one month on 12/15.  Then, the season begins.  Not now when it ain't even Thanksgiving, yet.



You have grandkids, That Guy??  We've got 4, and two great-grandkids; gotta be early, or I'd never get done.


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## That Guy

Anne said:


> You have grandkids, That Guy??  We've got 4, and two great-grandkids; gotta be early, or I'd never get done.



Unfortunately, no grandkids.  I miss having children around to keep me on my toes.  Yes, I agree getting the shopping done early is a good idea.  But, decorating and pumping up the season too early just ruins it for me.  I will send out a couple of cards around the fifteenth and put lights on one of the trees out in the woods near the house.  Women at work used to listen to a radio station that began playing Christmas music 24hrs at Thanksgiving.  I warned them that murder was an option.

Now, darn, you got me talking about Christmas....!


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## Anne

Too much commercialism as it is - starting Christmas too early takes away from the whole idea, I think.   I like when people decorate outside trees, tho; so festive and pretty.  
Had a friend who decorated the whole house; lights outside; decor all over the living room to the point of ridiculous.  I couldn't even imagine the dusting.


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## Rainee

We have a neighbour who decorates his whole house every year and puts a bucket out for people who like his decorations put a gold 
coin in the box and when its nearly Christmas he donates the proceedings to the cancer society.. its nice of him to do that.. I have 
children who are grown up and 5 grand children all grown up now so I usually just give them cash for shopping on boxing day when the sales 
start things are much cheaper and they love getting things they need.. my daughter and her husband well they get something in the food lines.. 
but like That Guy says I am the same I won`t even think about Christmas till middle of December ... thats time enough for me.. there is only 
the two of us at home now so we don`t decorate and this year we might go to the local club on our own..I like it nice and quiet, for a change..


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## Jackie22

....I've been thinking about Christmas this year...decided to give the kids and grandchildren season passes to the local waterpark, I still cook and have everyone to my house on Christmas day, I've just about quit sending cards and I've cut way back on the decorating.


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## Pappy

Down here in Florida, Santa uses a riding lawn mower.


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## babyboomer

We were cutting on X-mas parafinilia, etc, But have to do a bit more, for the new grandson!
Also I allready bought some Christmas cards, but prefer to call people, and/or talk on Skype.
When I was running bussines, instead of sending Christmas cards to associates, we sent New Year cards, thanking them for support trough last year & wishes for the New year.That way you don't have to compete with hundreds the cards that nobody reads, as well as one doesnt have to worry, to what eeligion or congigation the recipient belongs.


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## That Guy

SNL had a great bit last night with Mister Senior running around NYC trying to stop the early Christmas b.s. exclaiming that it isn't even Thanksgiving, yet.


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## Anne

babyboomer said:


> We were cutting on X-mas parafinilia, etc, But have to do a bit more, for the new grandson!
> Also I allready bought some Christmas cards, but prefer to call people, and/or talk on Skype.
> When I was running bussines, instead of sending Christmas cards to associates, we sent New Year cards, thanking them for support trough last year & wishes for the New year.That way you don't have to compete with hundreds the cards that nobody reads, as well as one doesnt have to worry, to what eeligion or congigation the recipient belongs.



Ahhh; new grandson!!  That's always exciting, and fun to shop, especially when they're little and they get so happy over all the festivities!!!   Although, prices on things are getting unreal;  I've been shopping for our little great-grandaughter, and am just floored at the prices.  The cutest little red dress, size 1, going for $76.  Then, little jeans costing $20.  That's more than I've paid for my own jeans in years!!!!


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## babyboomer

Anne said:


> Ahhh; new grandson!!  That's always exciting, and fun to shop, especially when they're little and they get so happy over all the festivities!!!   Although, prices on things are getting unreal;  I've been shopping for our little great-grandaughter, and am just floored at the prices.  The cutest little red dress, size 1, going for $76.  Then, little jeans costing $20.  That's more than I've paid for my own jeans in years!!!!


Anne, the baby clothes, toys etc are expensive, as they are for nannas' moms . aunties.. egoes and happines!! No baby buys clothes, or toys.
And at Christmas time, it is all $$$$$ bussines.


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## grannyjo

Got my Christmas covered.  The grand-kids are old enough to appreciate the money to fill the petrol tank.  My son will be happy enough to get a gift card from the local hardware store,  my daughter in law will be getting a book voucher.  Problem solved.  Their gift to me,  although they don't know it,  is that they won't be arriving here on Christmas Eve, and me having to cook for them!  I'm not really so awful,  but cooking for five is a whole lot more difficult/expensive than for cooling for one!


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## GeorgiaXplant

I haven't read all the responses, but here's what I'm going to do this year...I'm going to make a donation to a local food pantry for each of the kids/their families in the cities where they live. For every dollar the food pantries have to spend, they can buy $7-$8 in food, far more than we could do ourselves. The biggest reason I'm going to do it is that except for the DD and her family who live on the other side of the house (I live in an attached granny flat), I never get a thank you. Not a written one, not a phone call, not so much as an email, no acknowledgement whatsoever. It totally ticks me off, and frankly, I'm just plain tired of it. I'm going to give the food pantries the kids' addresses and ask them to send the acknowledgement to them instead of me.

They've all got way too much stuff and will just get more stuff as gifts. I look at my "gift" to them as a gift to people who will be grateful and appreciative and who may not otherwise have a Christmas dinner, or even meals for a few days.


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## rkunsaw

I was going to give a donation to the wounded warrior project. I got on their web page and found out in order to give a donation it seems you are required to give your name,address, phone number and email. 
I think they must make more money selling your info than they make from donations.

I think they sell your info to every charity in business under the heading "we found a sucker."

Last year I donated to St Jude and now get calls, email, and mail from all sorts of "charities". 

From now on I think I'll make a cash donation to a good restaurant in exchange for a meal.


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## Anne

rkunsaw said:


> I was going to give a donation to the wounded warrior project. I got on their web page and found out in order to give a donation it seems you are required to give your name,address, phone number and email.
> I think they must make more money selling your info than they make from donations.
> 
> I think they sell your info to every charity in business under the heading "we found a sucker."
> 
> Last year I donated to St Jude and now get calls, email, and mail from all sorts of "charities".
> 
> From now on I think I'll make a cash donation to a good restaurant in exchange for a meal.




I hear ya, rkunsaw!!!  We gave to St Judes, also, and the calls haven't stopped since then.  Gave some to St Josesphs Indian school, and they just keep sending 'stuff', so you feel guilty and send more $$.  And if you EVER give to the highway patrol fund, you;ll get calls for years, no exaggeration.
We get calls day and evening, just for trying to be a nice person.    I'd feel so much better giving to a family that I know personally; and help them.


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## RedRibbons

I am 3/4 done with my Christmas shopping. I love Christmas, because it is all about giving. I am making dinner for my kids, and we will also open our presents.


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## Pappy

My charity of choice is St. Jude's hospital. They do wonderful work for the little children. When I hit the lottery........they are first on the list.


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## RedRibbons

rkunsaw said:


> I was going to give a donation to the wounded warrior project. I got on their web page and found out in order to give a donation it seems you are required to give your name,address, phone number and email.
> I think they must make more money selling your info than they make from donations.
> 
> I think they sell your info to every charity in business under the heading "we found a sucker."
> 
> Last year I donated to St Jude and now get calls, email, and mail from all sorts of "charities".
> 
> From now on I think I'll make a cash donation to a good restaurant in exchange for a meal.




I agree with you, even though I belong to a military family. Any place that asks for my phone number does not get it! We have no privacy in this country anyway, mostly because most of us give out too much private information.


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