# Making a move. mixed feelings



## Wilberforce (Nov 17, 2016)

Hi, for the last four years I have had a three  bedroom suite in my daughters home as my husband has Alzeimers and I was getting ill myself  but the stairs down to the suite were becoming hard and a couple of months ago I fell down all nine of them so we had to make some changes 

On the property we have a brand new unused carriage house that was built 5 years ago for my SIL mother but she died before it was finished.I call it the cottage.  I didn't want it as it was too small but we took another look at it recently.

One room at the front had been made into a carport as my SIL mother only wanted 1 bedroom, I need at least two as I need a sewing room so............

Garage door out, foundation laid, window in, electrician  put in new outlets,dry waller in ,laundry room finished small freezer in, dishwasher and ceiling fans in etc etc and carpets went down 3 days ago. As we speak SIL is building my new bookcases, sewing desk, computer desk and cutting table delivered from Ikea today, , counters changed, appliances changed as she sent the  old ones from her house which I didn't like and I have put stainless in so I am almost ready to make my big move...about 50 yards I will buy a new computer when I get over there and then I am done, it was unused before I have just had some changes made to fit me so I have a brand new cottage, it has my glass greenhouse just by it and my raised bed garden running down it side. Nice arbor, small goldfish pond and an out side sitting area under cover, then the regular garden.

I have very mixed emotions and am a bit weepy as I am moving into a new home without my husband and we have been married 58 years but I am also  excited and if I can now make some friends I will be fine. I have been very isolated looking after my husband for so long. I don't think we realize it is happening till later.

So hopefully I will be in within the week and a new chapter starts in my life.

XX Jeannine


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## BlondieBoomer (Nov 17, 2016)

Jeannine, the cottage sounds lovely. With all of the updates you'll have things the way you like them with new appliances and all. It's nice that your daughter's home has the space on the property for a cottage. Withought all the stairs it sounds like it should work out well for you. It's always a little sad to be moving from a place you've been for a while. Moving without your husband will be a big change too. Will he be staying in the suite in your daughter's home?

The garden and arbor and goldfish pond sound pretty. Do you grow any vegetables or is it a flower garden? I bet it will be nice in the summer. It's getting dark so early now, especially as far north as you are. But it sounds like you'll be busy with your sewing room and a new computer always seems to take a while to get things sorted out the way you want them. You'll find a lot to keep you busy in this forum with lots of people here. What day are you making the big move?


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## Wilberforce (Nov 17, 2016)

Sorry I thought I had mentioned , my husband  had to be moved into a permanent  care residence just a year ago  now as he needs 24 hour care which just about gutted me. My SIL is a retired psychiatric nurse as is my grandson which is why we gave up out own home and moved here 4 years ago, so the help would be  there as things got worse for John, however  the realty was that  I still looked after him on my own but every other form of help was there for me . It was my SIL  did all adaptions to the cottage except the electrics, he is super picky at renovating and makes a pristine job so I am vey lucky there, ay kind of household maintenance even changing a light bulb is done for, everything for my car etc., so I am very well supported in those areas.

Mt fave things to  grow  are veggies in my raised beds and I grow heirloom and miniature  tomatoes which are a passion in my greenhouse.  I grow some stuff in their all year round for salads.It was a birthday present when I first came and was all done for me , It is beautiful sort of Victorian. I have a paved area in front of the cottage to one side that will look lovely with large pots of flowers and I plant to plant a climbimg rose just in the lawn and grow it up the pillars on the cottage side  then across the front high up. I have called it Rosebud Cottage.

I plan to have another try  with  the pond and put fish in  but the raccoons usually come and eat them, it's been a year since I last tried so I am hoping they may have found a different fishing hole.

My sewing room will also hold my small kiln so I hope to be chin painting again soon.

My biggest problem is that I rarely leave the house unless it is to go and see my husband , that is just 3 minutes drive away, as I gradually dropped all my friends except one as my husband needed more care and at my age it is hard to pick up, but we will see. It is a shame really because I think I make a pretty good friend. I do have my two Chihuahuas Florence and Maisie and they are my babies.

Thank you for your good wishes it means a lot to me.

XX Jeannine







Thank you for your good wishes

XX Jeannine


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## Carla (Nov 17, 2016)

I wish you luck Jeanine. Surely when you visualized retirement, you couldn't have imagined being tossed such a curveball. I'll bet the cottage will be cute and more manageable for you. Maintaining a home is a lot of hard work and I don't know how you've done all that so far! I am sorry for your husband's diagnosis--dementia is such a sad thing to watch and can be caused by other diseases as well. Caretakers suffer too, no doubt about that. Good you will be close by and can keep an eye on things--hope that can alleviate some of the stress. Try to stay positive.


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## bluebreezes (Nov 17, 2016)

Jeanine, here's to all good things in your Rosebud Cottage. It sounds lovely and how lucky you are to have this option. It sounds like you are open to making new friends, which you are doing here on our forum, and I hope you will find new friends in your town too by finding others with similar interests. It's great that you're taking care of your hobbies with your sewing room and kiln. How nice too that your husband is close by for visiting. I wish you the very best. I hope if you might share some photos of your garden and other projects if you'd like to.


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## Wilberforce (Nov 18, 2016)

Thank you all you are very kind,  One of the things I need to do when I move over is to buy a new computer, get a techie to come to the house and install everything, then show me how to do pictures.John always did all that si I never bothered to learn.

There is a seniors centre fairly close to me, I did try, really I did, but they made me feel  terribly old. Of course I am too and I don't walk too well but beyond that I am game for anything new and they just wanted to knit!!  I shouldn't sound mean, they were lovely people but it wasn't for me..maybe I will try again ,I even offered to teach some new craft classes but they just wanted to knit.

It is very very hard to find someplace to go. I love the beach in winter, kiting, all the things my husband and I did together, That of course is the problem We were married when I was 16.., 57 years with the same person is hard to adjust from, we were very close and we did everything together, he was my best friend, another reason why I am typing on a forum at 4 am.

Oops getting sniffy, time for a cup of tea

XX Jeannine


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