# Thick as two short planks



## Jace (Aug 9, 2022)

Think it..but don't say it...

"_Thick as two short planks". _

Ever heard?

Hopefully, Not!

Meaning: Exceedingly stupid.


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## Paco Dennis (Aug 9, 2022)




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## Pepper (Aug 9, 2022)

Think it..but don't say it...​That's always been my problem...I say it...


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## RadishRose (Aug 9, 2022)

Dumb as a box of rocks.


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## Jace (Aug 9, 2022)

Paco Dennis said:


>


U  got it!  it!


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## MrPants (Aug 9, 2022)

They're not the sharpest tool in the shed!


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## horseless carriage (Aug 9, 2022)

You can't put in what God left out!


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## Shalimar (Aug 9, 2022)

*The elevator doesn’t go to the top floor.*


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## Bella (Aug 9, 2022)

There's nobody home.


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## hollydolly (Aug 9, 2022)

Jace said:


> "_Thick as two short planks". _
> 
> Ever heard?
> 
> ...


Very common saying in the UK....


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## hollydolly (Aug 9, 2022)

Sandwich short of a full picnic...


Penny short of a Pound...


Not the full Shilling... 

Lights are on but no-one's home


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## Tish (Aug 9, 2022)

A few Roos lose in the top paddock.


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## RadishRose (Aug 9, 2022)

Not playing with a full deck.


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## RadishRose (Aug 9, 2022)

SeniorBen said:


> bigly


LOL!


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## MickaC (Aug 9, 2022)

Dumber than a pile of fence posts……unsharpened.

We’re visiting another planet…..are we.


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## jujube (Aug 9, 2022)

Two beers short of a six-pack.

Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.


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## RadishRose (Aug 9, 2022)

His bread's not baked
Needs 10 more minutes in the oven
He got hit with the stupid stick


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## jujube (Aug 9, 2022)

He's not hitting on all eight cylinders.

Somebody musta dropped him on his head when he wuz a baby.


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## DebraMae (Aug 9, 2022)

One brick short of a load.


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## Geezer Garage (Aug 9, 2022)

My Dad always said (often about my youngest brother) " When God was handing out the brains, he thought they said trains, and got in the wrong line".


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## MrPants (Aug 9, 2022)

His/her elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.


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## officerripley (Aug 9, 2022)

Not the brightest bulb in the chandelier.


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## RadishRose (Aug 9, 2022)

He hasn't got the sense God gave a chicken.


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## FastTrax (Aug 9, 2022)

RadishRose said:


> He hasn't got the sense God gave a chicken.



Geeze I forgot what I was gonna say.


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## mrstime (Aug 9, 2022)

Dumb as a bag full of hammers.


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## FastTrax (Aug 9, 2022)

jujube said:


> Two beers short of a six-pack.
> 
> Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.



The two beers jig got this dude kilt. lololol.


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## Bella (Aug 9, 2022)

Dumb as dirt.


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## jujube (Aug 9, 2022)

When his ship comes in, he'll be waiting at the airport.


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## FastTrax (Aug 9, 2022)

Bella said:


> Dumb as dirt.



Please don't go around insulting dirt. It's just plain not right.


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## Gary O' (Aug 9, 2022)

I've always been fond of *Sharp as a sack of wet mice*


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## oldpop (Aug 10, 2022)

Oh darlin, bless your heart.


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## timoc (Aug 10, 2022)

Jace said:


> Think it..but don't say it...
> 
> "_Thick as two short planks". _
> 
> ...


Talking about me again are you Jace?


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## Warrigal (Aug 10, 2022)

Jace said:


> Think it..but don't say it...
> 
> "_Thick as two short planks". _
> 
> ...


I'm very familiar with this expression.

How about "a couple of snags short of a barbie"?


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## Murrmurr (Aug 10, 2022)

Like @Pepper, I usually don't stop and think, I just say it. And most of the time it sounds exactly like "dumbass". 

Remember the line from the movie "The Green Mile"? ..."This boy's cheese done slipped off his cracker." HA! The guy said it with such concern, too, like a doctor saying "All we can do now is keep him comfortable." I about died.


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## horseless carriage (Aug 10, 2022)

jujube said:


> Two beers short of a six-pack.


Someone that I once had the misfortune to work with was about twelve beers short of a six pack.

Holly is right about we Brits using the euphemism, thick as two short planks. Another favourite, knowing the British love of tea:

"As useful as a chocolate teapot!


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## HazyDavey (Aug 10, 2022)

"You can't fix stupid."  _~ Ron White._


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## hollydolly (Aug 10, 2022)

horseless carriage said:


> Someone that I once had the misfortune to work with was about twelve beers short of a six pack.
> 
> Holly is right about we Brits using the euphemism, thick as two short planks. Another favourite, knowing the British love of tea:
> 
> "As useful as a chocolate teapot!


..or a chocolate Fire-guard


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## timoc (Aug 10, 2022)

*I once overheard* a bloke at the bottom of our street who had a corner shop, talking about his two teenage daughters.....

"If I put those two in a bag and put them up for sale, I'd be lucky to get a tanner (six old pennies), they're as useful as three thumbs hanging off my elbows"


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## JustDave (Aug 10, 2022)

RadishRose said:


> Dumb as a box of rocks.


That was the first one that popped into my head.  It's the most offensive insult to one's intelligence I can think of.  Maybe because the first time I heard it, I saw a guy say that to a woman at a public meeting.  It was so surreal at the time that I had the feeling I was among a bunch of crazy people.  It should have been easy to discount the remark because the guy that said it was a slobbering drunk, just keeping his balance, but it added to the dreamlike circumstances.


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## Jace (Aug 10, 2022)

All..are _really "with it"! _


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## Flarbalard (Aug 10, 2022)

"Doesn't have the brains God gave lettuce."


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## jujube (Aug 10, 2022)

I once heard a co-worker remark about another particularly-worthless worker: "I wonder if his parents had any kids who lived..."


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## Capt Lightning (Aug 11, 2022)

A good Scottish saying... "Heid the baw".  This probably derives from suffering a head injury from 'heading' an old style heavy leather football.
(possibly similar to injuries suffered by boxers) Hence being a 'right heid the baw' is to be  'not quite all there'.

Another good saying to suggest that someone is out of their mind (often due to drugs or alcohol)  is "Wired to the moon" .


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## Pecos (Aug 11, 2022)

This thread troubled me the first time that I read it and it has taken me some time to pin down exactly why I felt that way. 

At some level, having fun at the expense of people who are mentally challenged is remarkably similar to having fun at the expense of people who are overweight. If fat shaming is in poor taste, so is making fun of people who are mentally challenged. There are many, many reasons that people may be mentally challenged including the fact that they may have been born that way, or they may have been exposed to lead poisoning, or they may have suffered from malnutrition, or they may be dealing with dementia, or a host of other things.

This thread made me reflect on the times, in my younger/dumber years, when I laughed at the expense of someone who was saddled with a challenge that they did not have any ability to change. I regret having done so and like to believe that it has been many years since I have mocked disadvantaged people. Mocking people who are disabled, short, overweight, not attractive, or socially awkward are among the many things that we should be very careful about. This is especially important when we interact with our children and grandchildren. 

How are we to teach empathy to the next generation if we do not exhibit it in our own actions and words? 

I have seen young teens who feel entitled to make mocking references toward the mentally challenged, old people, and a host of persons who have to deal with a wide range of disadvantages. Where did they learn that this was OK? 

Well clearly, they learned it from us. 

I am always pleased to shop at the one local supermarket that employs so many mentally challenged people. There they are doing their jobs, happy to be there and very polite and helpful to shoppers. I make it a point to engage them in dialogue any time the opportunity presents itself. I find that I am proud of them for leading productive live.

We have all done it and I am no exception; it is not something that I am proud of.


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## Shalimar (Aug 11, 2022)

Pecos said:


> This thread troubled me the first time that I read it and it has taken me some time to pin down exactly why I felt that way.
> 
> At some level, having fun at the expense of people who are mentally challenged is remarkably similar to having fun at the expense of people who are overweight. If fat shaming is in poor taste, so is making fun of people who are mentally challenged. There are many, many reasons that people may be mentally challenged including the fact that they may have been born that way, or they may have been exposed to lead poisoning, or they may have suffered from malnutrition, or they may be dealing with dementia, or a host of other things.
> 
> ...


Wow. QFT. Thankyou, Pecos, for your insight. A teachable moment. I made a facetious comment in this thread, never considering whom I was truly targeting. I am ashamed, I should have known better. Now, I do.


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## Capt Lightning (Aug 12, 2022)

In the local dialect here, you will often hear someone referred to as a '(big) loon' .  I don't know the derivation of this, but it simply refers to a young man, or one acting in a youthful manner.   (girls are 'quines')

I think sometimes we worry too much.


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## Ronni (Aug 12, 2022)

Pecos said:


> This thread troubled me the first time that I read it and it has taken me some time to pin down exactly why I felt that way.
> 
> At some level, having fun at the expense of people who are mentally challenged is remarkably similar to having fun at the expense of people who are overweight. If fat shaming is in poor taste, so is making fun of people who are mentally challenged. There are many, many reasons that people may be mentally challenged including the fact that they may have been born that way, or they may have been exposed to lead poisoning, or they may have suffered from malnutrition, or they may be dealing with dementia, or a host of other things.
> 
> ...


@Pecos while I didn’t contribute to this thread, I also didn’t take offense, primarily because it never occurred to me that it’s  targeting the mentally disadvantaged or challenged.

I read all the responses simply as comments about those who lack common sense. I never took it any other way, and therefore agreed with much of what was said, due to my own frustration with otherwise intelligent folks who just exhibit little to no sound, practical judgment in every day matters. That basic ability to perceive, understand and judge is shared by the majority, hence the word “common” in the phrase “common sense.”

I’m not disagreeing with or challenging you, @Pecos, Just offering another perspective for those who read your response and felt ashamed, like @Shalimar, who is one of the kindest and most empathetic people I’ve ever  known.


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## Shalimar (Aug 12, 2022)

*Ronni, thankyou so much for your kind words, I am touched. Hugs. I am rather strict with myself around some things. I am in the compassion business, dealing with people who experience  enormous emotional distress. It is incumbent upon me to be very careful what I 

say. Triggers can be set off in an instant with often catastrophic results. Pecos comment was a valuable lesson in that regard. Sometimes, a little shame is appropriate. Transitory, but effective. *


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## Senenity (Aug 12, 2022)

Well done Pecos. Here is my take on this post, if i may.

People process information  differently.  Some are quick some are slow.  Who are we to judge, just walk away.  Some are quick in spinning jokes at others and those who are serious take time in understanding the other persons intent.  Back in the day, we had bullies but not as bad as it is today.  Looking at children  who bully other kids, its so obvious where they inherited those traits from.  Serious damage is done due to this.


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## Gaer (Aug 12, 2022)

Pecos said:


> This thread troubled me the first time that I read it and it has taken me some time to pin down exactly why I felt that way.
> 
> At some level, having fun at the expense of people who are mentally challenged is remarkably similar to having fun at the expense of people who are overweight. If fat shaming is in poor taste, so is making fun of people who are mentally challenged. There are many, many reasons that people may be mentally challenged including the fact that they may have been born that way, or they may have been exposed to lead poisoning, or they may have suffered from malnutrition, or they may be dealing with dementia, or a host of other things.
> 
> ...


Thank you Pecos!


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## -Oy- (Aug 22, 2022)

An IQ lower than lettuce


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## Purwell (Aug 22, 2022)

Road sense of a hedgehog.


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