# Marriage is......



## Ameriscot (May 24, 2015)

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/...ead_n_7347268.html?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000032

*1.* "Marriage is basically like having a grown child who you're constantly having to find things for -- shoes, wallet, keys, contacts." - _Ciara Hill_


*2.* "Marriage is being pretty damn sure you could identify your husband in a pitch black room by his farts alone." - _Laura Looch_


*3.* "Marriage is when you eat food and ask, 'Do you want some?' but you're hoping they'll say no." - _Gary Casper Muirhead

More in link...............
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## Bullie76 (May 24, 2015)

Marriage is not in my vocabulary.


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## jujube (May 24, 2015)

"I married you for richer and poorer, for sickness and in health...but not for retirement"....


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## QuickSilver (May 24, 2015)

Marriage for me is getting to drive the newest car.


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## Ralphy1 (May 25, 2015)

"Making sure your food is cooked..."


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## Kadee (May 25, 2015)

I was told by a man years ago he gives away half his food to get the other half, Half cooked


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## Ralphy1 (May 25, 2015)

And then there is to make sure his clothes are picked up and washed...nthego:


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## Ameriscot (May 25, 2015)

Ralphy1 said:


> And then there is to make sure his clothes are picked up and washed...nthego:



Well, in this house I don't pick them up but I do wash them.  His job is to cook me delicious, creative dinners every night.


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## Ralphy1 (May 25, 2015)

And why don't you pick them up?  You would be likely to get a can of soup from me...


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## Ken N Tx (May 25, 2015)

Fortunately for me marriage is great!! 51 years and counting..


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## Ralphy1 (May 25, 2015)

That's probably because your wife knows her place and her duties to keep you a contented man.  Bless her...


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## Ameriscot (May 25, 2015)

Ralphy1 said:


> And why don't you pick them up?  You would be likely to get a can of soup from me...



Tinned food is not allowed in this house.  Homemade only.


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## Ameriscot (May 25, 2015)

Ralphy1 said:


> That's probably because your wife knows her place and her duties to keep you a contented man.  Bless her...



Noooo....more likely Ken knows his place and treats her like a goddess.


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## Ralphy1 (May 25, 2015)

No tinned food?  How primitive?  And how do you get your sardines?


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## Ameriscot (May 25, 2015)

Don't like sardines.  No, not primitive.  Healthy.  Not full of crap and additives and preservatives and sugar and poisons.


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## Ralphy1 (May 25, 2015)

Yep, but that what makes food taste good...


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## Ameriscot (May 25, 2015)

Ralphy1 said:


> Yep, but that what makes food taste good...



Aye and gives you diabetes and heart attacks and cancer.


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## Jackie22 (May 25, 2015)




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## Ralphy1 (May 25, 2015)

That may be true but we die with a contented stomach and a good taste in our mouths...


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## Ameriscot (May 25, 2015)

Ralphy1 said:


> That may be true but we die with a contented stomach and a good taste in our mouths...



No, that stuff has a nasty aftertaste.  I prefer my food flavoured with herbs and spices and chilis and garlic.


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## Ameriscot (May 25, 2015)

Jackie22 said:


>




Very true!!


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## Ralphy1 (May 25, 2015)

I like my food plain, right out of the deli and the bakery...


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## Ameriscot (May 25, 2015)

Ralphy1 said:


> I like my food plain, right out of the deli and the bakery...



Boring............


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## hollydolly (May 25, 2015)

Seriously Annie don't you eat anything at all out of a Can? What about baked beans..do you not even eat those?


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## Ameriscot (May 25, 2015)

hollydolly said:


> Seriously Annie don't you eat anything at all out of a Can? What about baked beans..do you not even eat those?



At home the only thing we use from a tin is chopped tomatoes that hubby puts in curries and chilis.  He prefers them to fresh for some reason. But that's it.  We use lots of beans but they are all dried beans and he puts those in a pressure cooker. 

I only eat the baked beans when we stay at a B & B.  Not saying I eat healthy all the time because I love junk food but try to keep it out of the house.  But when we eat out......  oink.


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## Ralphy1 (May 25, 2015)

I don't think we want to pursue a discussion of baked beans, do we?  nthego:


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## Josiah (May 25, 2015)

Marriage is having someone around with small enough hands to reach into the garbage disposal to retrieve something I accidentally dropped in it.


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## Ralphy1 (May 25, 2015)

Josiah, you should quit while you are ahead.  A wife with amputated hands is not a pretty image...layful:


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## Josiah (May 25, 2015)

Marriage is having someone around who can tell me how to spell "maintainenance".


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## Josiah (May 25, 2015)

Marriage is all about having a real naked lady in your life.


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## Glinda (May 25, 2015)

Marriage is an institution that serves no useful purpose for me.

And BTW, Josiah, believe it or not, some women will get naked without being married.


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## Lon (May 25, 2015)

Marriage is over for me.


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## Ameriscot (May 25, 2015)

Marriage is about having a man to fix things that you broke or to figure out geeky things for you.


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## Davey Jones (May 25, 2015)

Being married is like having a best friend who doesn't remember anything you say.


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## Ralphy1 (May 25, 2015)

But supposing we are all thumbs?  Would you still love us?


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## hollydolly (May 25, 2015)

Ameriscot said:


> Marriage is about having a man to fix things that you broke or to figure out geeky things for you.



Yup That's what mine does...


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## Ameriscot (May 25, 2015)

Ralphy1 said:


> But supposing we are all thumbs?  Would you still love us?



NO!


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## Ameriscot (May 25, 2015)

Marriage is about being able to look like hell and still get regular sex.


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## Josiah (May 25, 2015)

Marriage is have a sympathetic ear to hear you moan and groan when you're sick. Note, I'm a firm believer in the therapeutic benefits of moaning and groaning.


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## AZ Jim (May 25, 2015)

I'll just say I am thankful for my wife.  She's always been my very best friend.  She cares for me and I care for her.


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## Louis (May 25, 2015)

Glinda said:


> Marriage is an institution that serves no useful purpose for me.
> 
> And BTW, Josiah, believe it or not, some women will get naked without being married.


Yeah, I had one of those...in a moment of passion I bit her too hard on the butt - she farted and flew out the window.


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## AZ Jim (May 25, 2015)

Louis, you are kidding right?  Surely you bought the patch kit when you bought your blowup??


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## Louis (May 25, 2015)

I had the patch kit but last I saw of her she was vanishing over the neighbors trees.


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## Josiah (May 25, 2015)

Interesting to note the the male responders mostly describe the positive side of marriage and the women favor the negatives.


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## AZ Jim (May 25, 2015)

Josiah said:


> Interesting to note the the male responders mostly describe the positive side of marriage and the women favor the negatives.



Simple explanation:  We got the best end of the deal.


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## hollydolly (May 25, 2015)

Not me...Josiah...I'm *positive* I like my husband to fix things.. :lol:


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