# I Got My New Elena's Models List!



## SifuPhil (Oct 17, 2013)

*Yay!!!*



Being a long-time member of Elena's service I can say without hesitation that this month's presentation far exceeds every other offering to date. 

In the past, they sent me dubious, dim-witted, dangerous and downright dastardly-looking models with whom they expected me to "hook up" - 



I mean, come ON! 47 years old?!? What am I, a baby-snatcher? Where are the mature models I was promised? This one has blue eyes, blond hair and is a *doctor*! How needy do they think I am?

I went through the listing seeing more of the same and starting to despair of ever finding my soul-mate, when suddenly, out of the blue, this picture appeared before my eyes - 



Now THAT'S what I'm talking about - spirited, spunky and sexy! Red always brings out a Russian woman's eyes, and the fact that she's self-sufficient enough to be able to chop her own wood is a HUGE plus! 

And there's just something about _babushkas_ that bring out the animal in me - GRRRRRRR!!!


So, nice job, Elena - you were coming close to the brink but you pulled back with a brilliant save - congratulations!


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## SeaBreeze (Oct 17, 2013)

Silly boy, LOL! :hair:


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## nan (Oct 17, 2013)

:triumphant: at last:lofl:


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## Jillaroo (Oct 17, 2013)

:woohoo1:   _*Phil i can see why you are so taken with her, she is absolutely gorgeous,i can see why you think she is spunky and i feel she would be a perfect match for you, take it slow though Phil you don't want to scare her away, beautiful women like her are very scarce these days. Just a tip obviously she likes red so maybe a red tie and hanky in the pocket and a shotgun as she looks like she is into big weapons on your 1st date, after this fantastic catch we will have to call you LUCKY PHIL*_


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## Katybug (Oct 17, 2013)

I thought you were living a Monk's life, but I can see how this woman could be totally life altering.  And I strongly agree with taking it slow, she doesn't appear to be one who would appreciate being rushed into anything. 

Please don't blow your chances here, Phil, she's a keeper for sure.


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## Anne (Oct 17, 2013)

Wow; what a catch, and bet she can cook up a storm, too!!!!!

As for the doctor, no reason you should settle for that - unless....she could cure what ails you, perhaps??  layful:    :nodisturb:


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## SifuPhil (Oct 17, 2013)

Thank you all for your support and warm words of encouragement. 

Our first date will be when I pick her up at Pier 237 in New York - I've learned that in addition to being drop-dead gorgeous she's also a financial whiz, and in lieu of wasting money on a plane flight she wisely chose steerage passage on the _Ropucha II_, a former Russian Navy landing craft. 



After she passes Immigration, Vaccination and Quarantine we're going to have a butter-lamp dinner at Isaac's Crab Shack, just two piers down. Did I mention that she's also bringing her mother, father, and extended family? It seems the Russian custom is to travel as a family unit.



Left to right: Brother Alexi, Cousin Nikolai and Mom Irinushka. A bunch of cut-ups, aren't they? Olga promised me they would be staying at my apartment only as long as it takes for them to find good, Socialist-style manual labor jobs and, in Nikolai's case, a Russian Orthodox church that needs a new Patriarch. 

My heart is singing!


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## Diwundrin (Oct 17, 2013)

Cousin Nikolai looks a bit suss Phil, I'd be wary of him. 



It's good to know you have chosen wisely.  How could I disapprove of a fellow axe wielder?


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## Anne (Oct 17, 2013)

Do I see a slight look of disapproval on Mom Irinushkas face??  


Maybe it's just me..........


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## TICA (Oct 18, 2013)

They do say that if you look at a lady's mother, you'll have a good idea of what that woman will look like in the future.  In this case, ya got a winner!!


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## seabreezy (Oct 24, 2013)

I think you should go for it Phil!! She's really a keeper!  I wonder if she could succeed in keeping you in line, LOL.  Or maybe she would be your perfect "partner in crime":hee:


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## That Guy (Oct 24, 2013)




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## SifuPhil (Oct 26, 2013)

If thou remember'st not the slightest folly
That ever love did make thee run into,
Thou hast not loved.

~ (_As You Like It_, 2.4.33-5)


Shakespeare had it right - 'tis folly to love. 

Olga has left me. She ran off with a Russian-born cat juggler she met at Madison Square Garden. 

She _used_ me! And not in the _good_ way! I was just her ticket over here, her sugar daddy, her pawn in her complex chess game. I should have known better.

That's it for me - no more women. I'm tired of having my heart broken and my spirits crushed. From this moment on I'm swearing off of ...

... wait a min ...



O.M.G.!!!




Be back later ...


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## Jillaroo (Oct 26, 2013)

_*OMG Phil my heart is breaking for you, how could she have taken up with a  Cat Juggler,when she had the hottest stud in town, didn't she have her bifocals on surely she had no taste at all in men, all i can say is it's her loss she is the biggest loser, never mind Phil i'm sure there is another lovely lady who will sweep you off your feet and you will be smiling again. *_


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## Katybug (Oct 26, 2013)

I should have warned you, Phil, cat jugglers are the WORST.  I had no idea your competition was all that.  Sorry to say this, but you never really stood a chance.  Go drown your sorrows in some hot peppered Vodka and forget about her.  For all her beauty, she doesn't deserve you!


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## That Guy (Oct 26, 2013)




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## Anne (Oct 26, 2013)

Now, Phil......maybe she just left because you are such a handsome fellow, that she knew she just couldn't keep you, y'know???   But, there; you already have another beauty, so guess you'll be busy for awhile now..........:woohoo1:


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## SifuPhil (Oct 26, 2013)

Katybug said:


> I should have warned you, Phil, cat jugglers are the WORST.  I had no idea your competition was all that.  Sorry to say this, but you never really stood a chance.  Go drown your sorrows in some hot peppered Vodka and forget about her.  For all her beauty, she doesn't deserve you!



It happened without warning. I came home to my apartment and there it was - pussy in the air.




Anne said:


> Now, Phil......maybe she just left because you are such a handsome fellow, that she knew she just couldn't keep you, y'know???   But, there; you already have another beauty, so guess you'll be busy for awhile now..........:woohoo1:




We'll see. I'm going a lot slower this time, keeping my emotions in check. As they say in Russia, "_Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, report for re-education_".


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## Jillaroo (Oct 26, 2013)

_Phil am i to believe you have found another so soon, i hope she is worthy of your love she does look hot.
               You realise that you are the  talk of the town and they are lining up as we speak to, i hear Police were brought in for crowd control in your street , so please take it easy don't be tempted to stray as this girl could be the one, does she come with a large dowry? _


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## Diwundrin (Oct 26, 2013)

See anything you fancy on  https://www.seniorforums.com/showth...en-of-Asgarda-Martial-Art-for-Women-of-Ukrain  Phil?    

That has to be the Cornucopia of Miss Rights for your tastes and talents.


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## SifuPhil (Oct 26, 2013)

Jillaroo said:


> _ ... does she come with a large dowry? _



If that's Russian for "backside" then yes, she does. 




			
				Diwundrin said:
			
		

> ... That has to be the Cornucopia of Miss Rights for your tastes and talents.



Eh ... they're a bit too schizoid for my tastes - they don't know whether they want to cuddle men or kill them. If I wanted _that_ kind of attitude I could stick with the local talent. layful:


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## Jillaroo (Oct 26, 2013)

_Nah that's not what it is Phil, a Dowry is usually a large wooden box that the woman over a few years fills with all sorts of things for the home like sheets, doonas etc, and money & worldly goods from the family depending on how desperate they are to get rid  i mean give her to you in marriage_


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## SifuPhil (Oct 26, 2013)

Ah, okay. 

So it's the _doona_ that refers to her backside - now I understand. 

So yes, she comes with a large _doona_.


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## Anne (Oct 26, 2013)

It's like a Hope Chest - yes, that's chest, Phil.  :rofl:


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## That Guy (Oct 26, 2013)




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## Pappy (Oct 27, 2013)

My kinda Doona.....Warm and cuddly.....


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## SifuPhil (Oct 27, 2013)

Pappy said:


> My kinda Doona.....Warm and cuddly.....



Wait - I thought a doona was a backside. 

Then I was informed it was Hope's chest.

Now it turns out to be some kind of large brown mutant_ fungus _that grows on mattresses?!?!


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