# why am I the one that suffers when I don't like people



## Denise1952 (Jun 30, 2016)

I'm trying hard to find someone, or something to blame this on besides myself but lately I've realized that I am becoming really hateful.  I mean the feeling of hate towards others.  Or at the very least, dislike.  And I also realize I am so miserable feeling that way.  I want to stay more and more to myself so I don't have to deal with people, except when I "have" to, like at the grocery store.  

I think a lot of it is because I really became involved with people so much more online, then I ever did offline.  And people say things online they don't say in the offline world, me included.  I don't like being "not" a part of something, but at the same time, it's frightening because if you get involved with people, you get hurt.

I tried going back to church to become a nicer person, but that didn't work.  There were other people at church.  There's people here I know, I can see your names at the bottom of the forum, so I know I'm opening myself up for whatever anyone here wants to say.  Maybe I've just finally lost that one, remaining marble.  

I say I don't want to be "part of" but here I am posting where I know some of the meanest people on the planet dwell, LOL!!  Maybe it makes me feel sweet and kind to be here??  No, certainly joking about that.  The thing I remember most about my mother's words to me about life, is that she always told me not to be bitter.  That's how I feel, bitter.  But what is worse is that I don't seem to be getting past it.  I really think I used to be a caring person, maybe she is still in there.  I wish I'd wake up and see it was all a bad dream.

I don't know if anyone will even see this, but I want to tell anyone here that I offended, or hurt your feelings, argued with, that I am truly sorry.  It's just becoming to easy to take things out on others because I'm unhappy.  At the same time, it's nice to be able to meet folks I can talk to, and I really don't open up offline, like I do when I can write it out.


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## GeorgiaXplant (Jun 30, 2016)

Recognizing your feelings and "talking" about them is a good thing. I understand and often feel the same way. 

I can be friendly and pleasant and chat up people I don't know...store clerks, for instance...but when it comes to acquaintances? I keep much of myself to myself because I've been "shat" upon so many times by people I thought could be trusted and then discovered that I could not trust them at all. It's not a good feeling and probably silly of me to feel like the best way to keep from being hurt is to share little of my Self.

It's good to have a cat, as though a cat can be trusted for a single second LOL

Don't dwell on becoming a better person. You're already a good person. Don't dwell on being just like "everybody" else. If you were like everybody else, you wouldn't be you. 

Pay no attention to the nay-sayers, the gloom-and-doomers; heaven knows there are plenty of them.

My daughter has a magnet on her fridge that gives two choices for dinner: Take It or Leave It. Be you and let those around you take you as you are or leave you. It's written exactly n_owhere _that you're required to be friends with, or even friendly to, people you don't want to befriend. Be civil. Just don't be a pushover.

And if you haven't already gotten yourself a little dog or a kitty, do. They are always glad to see you. They're good listeners. They don't judge. They provide comfort when comforting is needed and appreciate being comforted when they need it. And they're good for your mental and physical health.

Gramma has spoken.


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## Warrigal (Jun 30, 2016)

First of all Denise, I have no idea what you are talking about when you worry about hurting our feelings online. Arguing is what a forum is all about and as long as you don't lose it completely and go ballistic, things are OK. Being a bit cranky sometimes is perfectly human.

Now, about the question in your title - it came to me in a blinding flash one day when I read that we need to understand that when we point a finger at someone, three fingers are pointing back at ourselves. It's like Newton's law that states 'for every action, there is an opposite reaction", except that in the case of emotions, the reaction is amplified. 

Negative emotions are normal but it is not good to wallow in a soup of negativity because it is corrosive to happiness. We need to remind ourselves to enjoy the warmth of the sun, the sound of birds singing, and the glorious colours of nature. You know this, of course, so just do it and keep it up until the world seems a friendlier and warmer place. I also suggest using carefully selected music to take yourself out of the doldrums because music is a powerful emotional tonic.

I wish you speedy recovery of your usual cheerfulness. Take care and ride it out. It will pass.


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## GeorgiaXplant (Jun 30, 2016)

Yes! Music.


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## Denise1952 (Jun 30, 2016)

GeorgiaXplant said:


> Recognizing your feelings and "talking" about them is a good thing. I understand and often feel the same way.
> 
> I can be friendly and pleasant and chat up people I don't know...store clerks, for instance...but when it comes to acquaintances? I keep much of myself to myself because I've been "shat" upon so many times by people I thought could be trusted and then discovered that I could not trust them at all. It's not a good feeling and probably silly of me to feel like the best way to keep from being hurt is to share little of my Self.
> 
> ...



Thanks for this Georgia, funny, but I have been searching for a little dog, and I think it would be really good.  I wouldn't have to talk to "just" myself around here.  I also want someone to walk with, and a dog would be a good, walking-buddy

You were right about it all, just thanks for sharing it.  Seems like you get through one struggle and then there's another waiting.  But I am being too negative, so I will take both you gals advice on that.  I've taken to just watching comedies on tv (Roku actually, no cable) but I get The Golden Girls dvds too.  I read a lot, and all fun stuff.  It's good just to get your replies, I'm glad I said something, denise



Warrigal said:


> First of all Denise, I have no idea what you are talking about when you worry about hurting our feelings online. Arguing is what a forum is all about and as long as you don't lose it completely and go ballistic, things are OK. Being a bit cranky sometimes is perfectly human.
> 
> Now, about the question in your title - it came to me in a blinding flash one day when I read that we need to understand that when we point a finger at someone, three fingers are pointing back at ourselves. It's like Newton's law that states 'for every action, there is an opposite reaction", except that in the case of emotions, the reaction is amplified.
> 
> ...



Oh, I know I have hurt people Warri, I think people let people down, hurt eachother, not a perfect world.  

No, I am not liking this wallowing thing, yuck  I was telling Georgia I want to get a pup, but then I kind of worry I might depress the dog, lol!!  I don't yell, scream or throw things though, I suffer silently, LOL!!  Thanks for replying Warri, I was reading your thread on the religion thing, it's a great thread denise


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## Denise1952 (Jun 30, 2016)

I have to have something going, almost all the time now because of tinnitus.  Except when I'm out and about, doesn't bother me then.  I really like the thunder/rain sounds I have on my phone app.


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## Warrigal (Jun 30, 2016)

No, Denise, it isn't a perfect world and people do hurt each other. That's why forgiveness is a virtue. We need to forgive ourselves too. Often we forgive everyone else and continue to beat ourselves up for our own minor transgressions. Don't feel bad. I'm pretty sure you haven't caused too much emotional hurt on Seniors.


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## GeorgiaXplant (Jun 30, 2016)

A dog won't care if you're suffering in silence; dogs are very perceptive and will recognize that you're feeling down. And a dog won't *catch* depression from you; a dog will comfort you when you're depressed. 

Go to a no-kill animal shelter. Let a dog pick you.

As for me? I don't mind suffering in silence one little bit as long as everybody knows I'm suffering! LOL


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## Shalimar (Jun 30, 2016)

Denise, I applaud your courage and honesty in sharing this with us on the forum. Hugs to you. Sounds to me like you are going through some emotional rough stuff. I remember last year when you were homeless etc. now you are settled, perhaps you feel 

"safe" enough to deal with buried feelings. You have been through a lot. Anger, bitterness etc are normal reactions to huge changes in our lives, particularly if the "crisis" is over. It is only human to think everything would be hunky dory now. Usually it 

isn't. Give yourself some time to adjust, to process your new life. Be kind to yourself, not judgemental. We are all human. Online friends can be family, mine are.


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## Denise1952 (Jun 30, 2016)

I really think a lot of my depression (I guess that's the popular term) is sort of a "world-wide" issue for me.  I got really into the whole political thing, and now, I just want out of my own skin.  I say I don't want to be part of sometimes, but what I hate more is the division, how people are not united.  I know it's not possible for all to be totally united.  I've heard it so many times, that if we were all alike how boring that would be.  But it does "feel" better, to me anyway, to be in agreement with others.  I need to learn to feel good about agreeing to disagree, lol

Anyway, it's really about how I've cut myself off from people because I don't want to hurt anyone or be hurt by anyone.  But it really is like throwing the baby out with the bathwater isn't it.  I am scared to be so alone, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  The world is getting scarier by the minute to me, and facing it all alone is just stupid for me to try.  It's not that hard to be nice to people, even if I disagree with them.  But at the same time, as Georgia touched on I think, not getting too thick, or dependent on others.  People will let us down, even if they die it seems like we get angry "at them" for dying on us.


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## GeorgiaXplant (Jun 30, 2016)

Shali has made a truly valid point. When I'm working toward a goal and trying to be patient until its met, I have a tendency to think that once I'm there, everything will be fine. Trouble with that is while working and waiting, other things are being shifted to the back burner and guess what? I've met my goal and still have to deal with all the flotsam and jetsam that collected and were either ignored or neglected. They didn't go away. How annoying! I met my goal. Everything is supposed to be perfect, right? Um. Nope. Still gotta face the crap and resolve it.

That little dog at the no-kill shelter is waiting to help you deal with your own flotsam and jetsam.


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## Shalimar (Jun 30, 2016)

Denise, sometimes it is good to distance yourself from the world's woes, especially if you are a sensitive person. It can drive you crazy. Good things do happen, many people are wonderful, the media just under reports it. I ration myself as to how much 

news I watch, otherwise I become depressed. Same thing applies to negative people. We don't all need to agree, but being cruel to each other is toxic. Most people lash out from a place of pain. I get that, I am compassionate, but hey, I have feelings too.


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## Denise1952 (Jun 30, 2016)

Shalimar said:


> Denise, I applaud your courage and honesty in sharing this with us on the forum. Hugs to you. Sounds to me like you are going through some emotional rough stuff. I remember last year when you were homeless etc. now you are settled, perhaps you feel
> 
> "safe" enough to deal with buried feelings. You have been through a lot. Anger, bitterness etc are normal reactions to huge changes in our lives, particularly if the "crisis" is over. It is only human to think everything would be hunky dory now. Usually it
> 
> isn't. Give yourself some time to adjust, to process your new life. Be kind to yourself, not judgemental. We are all human. Online friends can be family, mine are.



Thanks Shalimar, 

I didn't really think about the home-less thing, and now being settled, and probably very true about thinking everything was going to hunky dory.  I know better, but I do feel I got through the worst, and now things "are supposed" to be great.

You've reminded that I need to be grateful for so many things  Right now my truck is being fixed, and I was not happy at the cost, but I had the money because I've been saving, lol!  Oh yeah, but I wanted to spend my savings on something else

I really am so grateful, mostly because, you gals have been so kind today.  I just want to remember to return the kindness.  Being nice to others makes me feel better than anything denise


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## Shalimar (Jun 30, 2016)

The trouble with being patient is that it just takes too long....Lol.


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## Denise1952 (Jun 30, 2016)

GeorgiaXplant said:


> Shali has made a truly valid point. When I'm working toward a goal and trying to be patient until its met, I have a tendency to think that once I'm there, everything will be fine. Trouble with that is while working and waiting, other things are being shifted to the back burner and guess what? I've met my goal and still have to deal with all the flotsam and jetsam that collected and were either ignored or neglected. They didn't go away. How annoying! I met my goal. Everything is supposed to be perfect, right? Um. Nope. Still gotta face the crap and resolve it.
> 
> That little dog at the no-kill shelter is waiting to help you deal with your own flotsam and jetsam.



My landlady is on the sar team (search and rescue) and she is my greatest help in finding a little dog.  I can't have over 25 lb'er and she is in touch with all the shelters along the coast here.  I'm sure I'll find a dog soon.  I watched a video on a guy that rescued just older dogs, and I don't think I'll be afraid to do that.  So many people don't want the older dogs because they are afraid they'll die to soon (I know I thought that too) but I have the ways and means, a good home and could adopt a dog "more my age" LOL!


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## GeorgiaXplant (Jun 30, 2016)

Shali, patience is a virtue. Trouble is that virtue is its own reward. Fooey on that. I want real, tangible rewards. Like chocolate. Or ice cream. Or a whole bag of potato chips all for me. Never mind the vague, airy-fairy, existential, philosophical crap. Tangible. Even cash, and I don't give rat's rear if cash _is_ crass. You with me, Denise?


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## Denise1952 (Jun 30, 2016)

true Shalimar


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## Denise1952 (Jun 30, 2016)

GeorgiaXplant said:


> Shali, patience is a virtue. Trouble is that virtue is its own reward. Fooey on that. I want real, tangible rewards. Like chocolate. Or ice cream. Or a whole bag of potato chips all for me. Never mind the vague, airy-fairy, existential, philosophical crap. Tangible. Even cash, and I don't give rat's rear if cash _is_ crass. You with me, Denise?



Well, it sure tastes good going in, but too much of that stuff gives me the trots, so moderation for melayful:  Moderation with all things is the ticket??  I'm thinking, this is it, the answer to my dilemma, moderation, can I get a moderator?  No, I know, I have to do it myself


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## Shalimar (Jun 30, 2016)

Hmmm. Moderation if I must, but I am a maximalist/hedonist at heart! Bring on the brown sugar fudge and "my special" brownies! I wanna have fun!


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## Denise1952 (Jun 30, 2016)

Look Georgia,

I've only eaten 2 chunks since yesterday.  I don't know how I'll do today though.  Won't beat myself up if I decide to eat the whole thing though, LOL!
View attachment 30328


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## Denise1952 (Jun 30, 2016)

Shalimar said:


> Hmmm. Moderation if I must, but I am a maximalist/hedonist at heart! Bring on the brown sugar fudge and "my special" brownies! I wanna have fun!



I just wanna say that I don't think it's fare some folks can eat so many goodies, and I can't get away with it.  But there's the "not everyone is alike" again, lol  I think I AM those same things at heart though, I know I "think" a lot of things I'd like to do.  Some people would say "thank god denise doesn't do everything she thinks of"


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## Ruthanne (Jun 30, 2016)

Hi Denise, I had a particularly bad day yesterday and listening to some of these helped, plus talking to others:


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## Denise1952 (Jun 30, 2016)

Thanks for this Ruthanne, I will give it a listen  I can get it on my Roku as well


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## Debby (Jun 30, 2016)

I've enjoyed reading all your nice words to Denise, ladies.  It's so nice to see such sweet concern.

I hope by now (the middle of your day Denis) that you're feeling better.  

(I'm having a hard time typing this because Ziggy is sitting on my desk giving me 'kitty kisses' all up the side of my cheek.  Hope you find a fur baby too because they'll put a smile on your face on those gloomy days!)


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## Denise1952 (Jun 30, 2016)

thanks Debby, and yes, the ladies really helped me get my day off on the right foot  I am really grateful  I get to pup sit tomorrow, I do that every Friday, so I can love on my neighbor Colleen's lil dog.  She is real sweet and name Gingko, lol  I also was invited to a pizza party for a "going away" party, and I went, thank goodness.  It was fun, lots of laughter and about 30 people!

I do think I may see my doc, I'll call her tomorrow.  I haven't wanted to take anything, but I had a very good reaction to some meds last year that seemed to be working, but after about 6 months, they were causing some side-effects I couldn't handle.  So maybe I'll try something again from a regular doctor, we'll see.

Thanks much Debby  ttys, denise


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## Redd (Jul 1, 2016)

Denise, I think all of us here can relate and feel your pain. While the rough patches are difficult to get through, we DO somehow get through them.

For me thinking about Sinatra's song "Cycles" helps during those times. 

I too tried the church. While there are good people in there, people can't change how you feel. You have to change your feelings yourself. And you will get there, it just takes time.


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## Denise1952 (Jul 1, 2016)

Hi Redd,

Thanks much, and I know you are right denise

PS I'm sure I've heard that song before, maybe I'll look it up on youtube and listen to "ole blue-eyes"


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## Ruthanne (Jul 1, 2016)

Denise1952 said:


> I just wanna say that I don't think it's fare some folks can eat so many goodies, and I can't get away with it.  But there's the "not everyone is alike" again, lol  I think I AM those same things at heart though, I know I "think" a lot of things I'd like to do.  Some people would say "thank god denise doesn't do everything she thinks of"


Ya know, I was thinking about my brother's wife and how she always has small portions and so do all of his family.  They do it because they will put on weight if they don't.  And I had been eating all I want for a long time and now am about 50 or 60 pounds overweight.  I don't think that there are that many people who can eat anything they want all the time and not gain weight.  I have been to a mental health forum that has eating disorders as a forum as one of many and it's very hard for a lot of people to lose weight and I am one of them, too.  Sorry to go off on a rant but it was just something I've been thinking about.  I hope you are feeling better. hugs to you.


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## Butterfly (Jul 1, 2016)

Denise1952 said:


> Thanks for this Georgia, funny, but I have been searching for a little dog, and I think it would be really good.  I wouldn't have to talk to "just" myself around here.  I also want someone to walk with, and a dog would be a good, walking-buddy
> 
> You were right about it all, just thanks for sharing it.  Seems like you get through one struggle and then there's another waiting.  But I am being too negative, so I will take both you gals advice on that.  I've taken to just watching comedies on tv (Roku actually, no cable) but I get The Golden Girls dvds too.  I read a lot, and all fun stuff.  It's good just to get your replies, I'm glad I said something, denise
> 
> ...



Do get a dog.  There area so many languishing in shelters and you'd be saving the life of that doggie.  Get an older adult dog  -- those have little chance of being adopted and make wonderful pets -- they're past the chewing, nutso stage in their lives and just need someone to love.  It's hard to be negative when a dog is looking up at you adoringly or giving you little kisses.  I have a great big dog, Bonnie, an AmStaff cross I adopted last year at age about 7.  She didn't have a very nice early life and now that she's a pampered, loved house dog she is the most wonderful girl. She thinks I'm swell no matter how lousy a day I've had.  And when I see that wagging tail and wiggly butt and her happiness to see me, my day gets a whole lot better.  And when I see this once mistreated girl laying upside down on the couch in pure contentment, it gives me great joy that we help each other.


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## Denise1952 (Jul 1, 2016)

Ruthanne said:


> Ya know, I was thinking about my brother's wife and how she always has small portions and so do all of his family.  They do it because they will put on weight if they don't.  And I had been eating all I want for a long time and now am about 50 or 60 pounds overweight.  I don't think that there are that many people who can eat anything they want all the time and not gain weight.  I have been to a mental health forum that has eating disorders as a forum as one of many and it's very hard for a lot of people to lose weight and I am one of them, too.  Sorry to go off on a rant but it was just something I've been thinking about.  I hope you are feeling better. hugs to you.



Not ranting as far as I'm concerned.  I appreciate you sharing.  It is hard to do "all the right stuff", well, I should say impossible.  And nowadays, it's hard to even know what is the "right" stuff.  Seems everything causes cancer, or whatever.  I think it's all about what works for us, or what doesn't Ruthanne.  It's taking me a lifetime to figure out things that help, and things that don't.  Oh well, guess I can hardly get bored hugs, denise


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## Denise1952 (Jul 1, 2016)

Butterfly said:


> Do get a dog.  There area so many languishing in shelters and you'd be saving the life of that doggie.  Get an older adult dog  -- those have little chance of being adopted and make wonderful pets -- they're past the chewing, nutso stage in their lives and just need someone to love.  It's hard to be negative when a dog is looking up at you adoringly or giving you little kisses.  I have a great big dog, Bonnie, an AmStaff cross I adopted last year at age about 7.  She didn't have a very nice early life and now that she's a pampered, loved house dog she is the most wonderful girl. She thinks I'm swell no matter how lousy a day I've had.  And when I see that wagging tail and wiggly butt and her happiness to see me, my day gets a whole lot better.  And when I see this once mistreated girl laying upside down on the couch in pure contentment, it gives me great joy that we help each other.



Can't remember where I typed it, or even if I did, but yesterday before the party I went to, I talked to my SAR friend Ginny. She does search and rescue.  Anyway, I told her I wanted an older dog, I kind of laughed and said one close to my own age  I told her my reasons were because they don't get adopted sometimes, and much less chance for them than young dogs  I told her I read a story, and also saw a video on a guy that was so lost when his dog died.  He realized he needed to adopt a dog, and give it a good home.  And he decided on an older dog for the reasons I mentioned above.  It was a heart-wrenching story, but wonderful at the same time.

Yes, I will be adopting, and he/she will be an older dog Butterfly  I can hardly wait, but I know Ginny is watching for me, and I have some sites to check each day as well  Your dog sounds wonderful, and there is nothing like the love of a dog, nothing imo.  I am so happy you and she have eachother.  Thanks for telling me your story.


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## Ruthanne (Jul 1, 2016)

Sorry if I sounded preachy with my last post.  I didn't mean to.  I just had been thinking of my sister n law. I know there are a lot of things to watch when we eat.


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## Denise1952 (Jul 1, 2016)

Ruthanne said:


> Hi Denise, I had a particularly bad day yesterday and listening to some of these helped, plus talking to others:



OMGOSH, I love this, I am putting in on my TV (through my Roku) to listen now while I am getting ready Ruthanne, thank you SO much!! denise


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## Denise1952 (Jul 1, 2016)

Ruthanne said:


> Sorry if I sounded preachy with my last post.  I didn't mean to.  I just had been thinking of my sister n law. I know there are a lot of things to watch when we eat.



You are a nice person, I can tell that easily Ruthanne.  I am glad you posted to my topic, I am happy to meet you, and don't think we had before, but I know there are nice women I already know, and lots to meet as well.  I am very happy you are here denise

PS I am so nuts about these videos from youtube, the one I have on now is similar to yours, but couldn't find the exact one on my Roku  There are so many to choose from too, and they have to perfect types of music (piano is my fave, and wouldn't mind finding some violin as well)  The rain sounds I so love, this is wonderful.  You are helping me get through yet another day!! I love the other replies too, I just don't have to be alone, it's my choice if I decide that, but that particular choice stinks hugs again, denise


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## Ina (Jul 1, 2016)

Hi Denise, yeah I'm still around, but I mostly just check in to see how everyone is doing.  You my friend are doing great. You've fought long and hard to get on you feet, and sometimes a person that has had to gear themself to fight a long hard battle find it hard to gear down. You just need time.

It's sort of like when you have to pull a double shift, and your tired, but for the life of you, you can't slow down for awhile.

You just wait till you get your own furbaby. It's hard to be sad or depressed around a dog, and don't even think of tears when your pup is there.  I have saved a ton of money on face washing products, and if I don't come out of my doldrums Izzy will bounce around and bring me every toy he has until I have to laugh whether I'm ready to or not. On days that I wonder why I should even wake up, I do because who else will care for my little Izzy. He is my responsibility, and I'll drag myself up every morning just to take care of him. Little dogs don't eat much, and the cost is repaid ten fold. :wave:


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## GeorgiaXplant (Jul 1, 2016)

So, Denise...feeling better today knowing there are all these people interacting with you and each other and imparting words of wisdom? Yanno, even though we each have to find our own way, it helps when we realize that we aren't really alone, that there are others who have the same kinds of problems, can relate to yours and share what worked for them (or what didn't!).

Remember the lead-up to a big holiday or to some event that you were really looking forward to? The day or event finally arrived, happened, then it was all over with, and the let-down set it. Good memories, but darn it all, over with!

Kind of what happened here, I think. It took forfreakingever, some false alarms, lots of paperwork, red tape and at last you have what you really wanted more than anything: a home. 

You gathered up bits and pieces here and there, furnished it, put your own homey touches on it, and...now what? LOL

Can't wait until you get your new-to-you dog. Have you already chosen names for him/her or are you going to wait until you meet? Are you going to let us help you choose a name?


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## maplebeez (Jul 8, 2016)

Denise, you have the right to dislike people & venting your feelings here, is good for you.  In my case it's my sister's BFF. I find this woman totally disgusting.  Here are some choice examples. After hearing about my diagnosis of tinnitus, from my sister, that b***h  posted my medical information on her Facebook page. When she isn't correcting me, or totally ignoring me, she plays the "poor little me" card & tags-along to our family events.....then makes the most horrid comments about their poor taste in decorating & their home's lack of style. Accepts invitations to friend's weddings, baby showers,graduations, anniversaries (living in a small town, this happens frequently) then insists we do "group gifts" $10 per person....so tacky! Shows up unexpectedly at my home (looking for my sister) asks me what I'm cooking, then tells me, "that's not how you make it." Once I sent in a deposit for a group hotel reservation,......after looking at the place online, she decided that hotel wasn't up to her standards, cancelled that reservation (we lost that deposit) & made a reservation at a more expensive place.  Then she kept insisting it would be fun if six of us shared one hotel room.  As my aunt used to say....life's too short to be around people who make you uncomfortable.....so find people, places & things you like to do & do them. Or in the words of Billy Joel....."Go ahead with your own life and leave me alone!"


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## tnthomas (Jul 8, 2016)

Warrigal said:


> No, Denise, it isn't a perfect world and people do hurt each other. That's why forgiveness is a virtue. We need to forgive ourselves too. Often we forgive everyone else and continue to beat ourselves up for our own minor transgressions. Don't feel bad. I'm pretty sure you haven't caused too much emotional hurt on Seniors.


I think that on some level forgiving oneself is the hardest thing to do.



Shalimar said:


> Denise, sometimes it is good to distance yourself from the world's woes, especially if you are a sensitive person. It can drive you crazy. Good things do happen, many people are wonderful, the media just under reports it. I ration myself as to how muchnews I watch, otherwise I become depressed. Same thing applies to negative people. We don't all need to agree, but being cruel to each other is toxic. Most people lash out from a place of pain. I get that, I am compassionate, but hey, I have feelings too.




Just after terminating a grueling months long medical treatment- I had a 'crash' and my emotions were a mess, so I went to the doctor for help. He prescribed an anti-anxiety med...helped trementiously.      We were talking- he said that for reasons he didn't understand, there's been a huge increase in people suffering from anxiety and depression.
My personal view is that a contributing factor IS the media, the news and the way its reported...also Social Media- IMO a enormous contributing factor there.


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## Cookie (Jul 8, 2016)

I find when I dislike someone, they probably know it and will likewise be not so keen on me either. That's life, and unless I have to work with them at my job, I do have the option to avoid people who get on my nerves, difficult family members included. Sometimes I try to fix the relationship, somehow thinking there might be something I can do to make it better, but it never works.  Yes, it is best to go your own way.


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## Butterfly (Jul 8, 2016)

tnthomas said:


> I think that on some level forgiving oneself is the hardest thing to do.
> 
> 
> 
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I agree, tnthomas!  The news is enough to depress anyone!  I don't do FaceBook -- many people I know become quite obsessed with it and are constantly upset by what someone says.  I don't need that in my life.


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## Butterfly (Jul 8, 2016)

Hey, Denise -- did you know that most rescues post their available doggies on their websites?  You can see their pictures and read their stories.  Just google the name of the website, or "adopt a dog in" name of city or town.  Don't wait for the "perfect dog," because sometimes the dog you think you want isn't the dog you really need or the dog that is perfect for you.  I went to the shelter looking for a lab cross, and ran across my Bonnie just going out the door for a walk with a volunteer, and she's the perfect doggie for me.  She's an American Staffordshire terriier and is just wonderful.  I didn't even look at the other doggies -- it was love at first sight.  You'll make a great dog mom, and will give one very lucky doggie a good loving home, and save his/her life and enrich your own!


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