# What are some of your favorite quotes that make you smile or laugh outloud?



## Just plain me (Oct 8, 2014)

Mine at the moment is "Don't argue with stupid people! You are not a jackass whisperer!"  I don't know why but this just makes me smile and I usually don't use this type of language but I guess it is okay since it refers to an animal.:love_heart:


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## QuickSilver (Oct 8, 2014)

That's a great quote JPM...


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## JustBonee (Oct 8, 2014)




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## QuickSilver (Oct 8, 2014)




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## QuickSilver (Oct 8, 2014)




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## oakapple (Oct 8, 2014)

Don't think I have a favourite quote , but Groucho Marx's line [from one of their films] is pretty good 'That's so simple, a child of 5 could do it........ Go fetch me a child of 5! '  It's what I feel like when faced with techie things beyond my scope.My grandson can do things like find his fave Thomas The Tank Engine film on the iPad, in a heartbeat , and he's younger than my toaster [he is two and a half !]


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## AprilT (Oct 8, 2014)

Bonnie said:


>




Very nice.  

When I was much younger, I had a book that contained a great deal of quotes, I like most, but couldn't quote them accurately if I wanted to, but, one that comes to mind, not of a serious nature.   

"If you don't have anything nice to say,  come sit next to me".  Mae West. 

It just cracks me up only because it's humorous, not something I would take to heart.   Miss West always gets a giggle out of me.  I'm also a fan of Groucho Marx in the humour department of quotes.


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## SeaBreeze (Oct 8, 2014)




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## Meanderer (Oct 8, 2014)

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.


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## Just plain me (Oct 8, 2014)

These are cracking me up! Keep them coming. I can use all the laughs I can get!


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## QuickSilver (Oct 9, 2014)

Saw this one on FB yesterday... and thought... yeah... come to think of it..  lol!!


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## oakapple (Oct 9, 2014)

A good one [and reputedly a true quote] not sure who, maybe Winston Churchill?   Said by annoyed female dinner guest 'if you were my husband I would slip arsenic into your tea' and the reply? 'Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it!'


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## Hagrid (Oct 9, 2014)

oakapple said:


> A good one [and reputedly a true quote] not sure who, maybe Winston Churchill?   Said by annoyed female dinner guest 'if you were my husband I would slip arsenic into your tea' and the reply? 'Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it!'



Another in this same historical vein I think is attributed to Benjamin Disraeli: A political opponent of Disraeli said to him, "Sir, you will die of a pox or upon the gallows."
Disraeli replied, "That depends, sir, on whether I embrace your mistress or your principles."


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## Raven (Oct 9, 2014)

“What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.”   
  ―     Mark Twain


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## Davey Jones (Oct 9, 2014)

The most fun things in life are either immoral, illegal or they make you fat.


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## RadishRose (Oct 9, 2014)

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me-
than have a frontal lobotomy


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## Shirley (Oct 9, 2014)

Lol!


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## Steve (Oct 10, 2014)

Its a great life if you don't weaken..............

I very often say that when there is a situation or a problem ......


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## SeaBreeze (Oct 10, 2014)




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## SeaBreeze (Oct 10, 2014)




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## Raven (Oct 14, 2014)

“If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.”   
  ―     Will Rogers


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## Misty (Oct 14, 2014)




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## SeaBreeze (Oct 14, 2014)

_"Sometimes all you need, is someone who will make you smile"._


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## Meanderer (Oct 14, 2014)

My Dad used to say: "I'm in good shape...for the shape I'm in".  ...he also would say "If we had some bacon, we could have bacon and eggs...if we had some eggs".


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## Warrigal (Oct 14, 2014)

"I'm in good shape. Round is a shape."
Anon,


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## Just plain me (Oct 14, 2014)

Dad used to say "Charge it to my account, on the account of I ain't got no money".


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## oakapple (Oct 15, 2014)

Just plain me said:


> Dad used to say "Charge it to my account, on the account of I ain't got no money".


 I think this is my favourite so far!


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## Pappy (Oct 15, 2014)

One of my favorites is: 

If you aren't the lead sled dog, the scenery never changes.


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## JustBonee (Oct 15, 2014)




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## jujube (Oct 15, 2014)

"I try to take life with a grain of salt......preferably on the rim of a frozen margarita."


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## SeaBreeze (Feb 12, 2016)




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## Babsinbloom65 (Feb 12, 2016)




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## Babsinbloom65 (Feb 12, 2016)




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## BlunderWoman (Feb 12, 2016)

“I am not young enough to know everything.” 
― Oscar Wilde


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