# ‘Forgiveness’



## Keesha (Apr 30, 2018)

1/. What does forgiveness mean to you?

2/. How forgiving are you?

3/. Is there such a thing as being too forgiving?

Please comment on any of the above questions about ‘forgiveness’ or any other aspects you consider relevant.


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## jaminhealth (Apr 30, 2018)

I worked so hard to try to forgive my ex for leaving me for another woman, and I could not totally do it.  Although I  know I had a good life without him, and probably didn't really love him deeply, got married in retrospect for the wrong reasons, I never forgave totally.  He's gone now and  his 2nd wife took care of him for years.   We were very opposite personalities.

They say forgiving is freeing and I get that.   Everyone else in my life that I felt a bit hurt forgiveness   was a breeze.


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## JudyB (Apr 30, 2018)

Keesha said:


> 1/. What does forgiveness mean to you?
> 
> 2/. How forgiving are you?
> 
> ...



    I'm very forgiving that's just part of life and I think it's necessary for inner peace.  We are, after all, only human.  Too forgiving?  I do what's comfortable for me.  There are many articles about just that though, being too forgiving that is. [h=2][/h]


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## Aunt Bea (Apr 30, 2018)

[FONT=&quot]It's easy fo[/FONT][FONT=&quot]r me to forgive but I never forget what is said or done to me.
_
"Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names."_ - John F. Kennedy[/FONT]


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## jaminhealth (Apr 30, 2018)

The one who does NOT forgive is carrying  a  heavy load...my load is much lighter from my marriage but  I have never forgotten.


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## Keesha (Apr 30, 2018)

I agree that forgiveness is more about healing ‘our’ Heart and giving ourselves the peace and serenity we deserve.


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## Butterfly (Apr 30, 2018)

I believe strongly in forgiveness, but I also believe that forgiveness does not require you to give the person the opportunity to hurt you again.


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## hollydolly (Apr 30, 2018)

Butterfly said:


> I believe strongly in forgiveness, but I also believe that forgiveness does not require you to give the person the opportunity to hurt you again.



Couldn't agree more. !! I forgive eventually, but I never, _ever_ forget !!


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## Falcon (Apr 30, 2018)

If   it doesn't  deserve  forgiveness  then  DON'T  forgive.   Big waste  of time.   Get  on with your life.


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## Keesha (Apr 30, 2018)

And what if the person ( people ) don’t even acknowledge there’s a problem?
Do you make attempts to let them know? 

If you can’t, one method that has been recommended is to write a detailed letter to the person ( people ) involved, letting them know exactly how you feel. Cry, get angry, swear! Express yourself fully without holding back. When you are finished , read it out loud as if the persons right in front of you. Then burn the letter and forever let it go. 
Sometimes it’s the safest method for those who can’t or don’t want a confrontation.


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## jaminhealth (Apr 30, 2018)

Oh, my ex and I never had a confrontation...I just had to do what forgiving in my mind and it took some yrs.  There was no way I'd want to confront him...he was pretty callous and could care less I believe if I forgave or not.


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## SeaBreeze (Apr 30, 2018)

Forgiveness to me means accepting that we're all human and sometimes we make mistakes, the important thing is that we learn from them, a sincere apology goes a long way.  I haven't had to forgive anyone in my life for anything big or very hurtful, but I'm pretty forgiving, so I probably would.  Having said that, if someone purposely killed someone in my family, even one of my furbabies, I doubt I would forgive that.  Hopefully I'll never have to face that challenge.  It amazes me when someone whose child or husband was murdered, forgives the killer, I don't see that happening with me.  Perhaps in my mind, that would be too forgiving.


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## jaminhealth (Apr 30, 2018)

SeaBreeze said:


> Forgiveness to me means accepting that we're all human and sometimes we make mistakes, the important thing is that we learn from them, a sincere apology goes a long way.  I haven't had to forgive anyone in my life for anything big or very hurtful, but I'm pretty forgiving, so I probably would.  Having said that, if someone purposely killed someone in my family, even one of my furbabies, I doubt I would forgive that.  Hopefully I'll never have to face that challenge.  It amazes me when someone whose child or husband was murdered, forgives the killer, I don't see that happening with me.  Perhaps in my mind, that would be too forgiving.



I know you hear of people forgiving a killer and I even recall from some of the school shootings, forgiving.  Can't imagine.


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## terry123 (Apr 30, 2018)

Aunt Bea said:


> It's easy for me to forgive but I never forget what is said or done to me.
> _
> "Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names."_ - John F. Kennedy


I can forgive but never forget!!


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## Gary O' (Apr 30, 2018)

Forgiveness?

God and small children truly forgive

Its most always recommended these days
Most recommend mouthing the words
….like that action has some sorta magic

I don’t recall anyone asking me
I don’t even recall asking for it
Thing is, forgiveness seems always in my heart
No need to ask
Already done

Folks, all, have flaws
Close friends have flaws
We sometimes know those flaws, and accept them, as they are
We forgive those….in our hearts

Those that are so flawed they are creepy?
I tend to just feel sorry for them

They gotta be with themselves 24/7
Needing to forgive themselves
For, most times, what only they know
Or
In some skewed way, continue to conjure up ways to justify their actions
...eschewing offers of forgiveness, thinking it would quantify something was wrong... 

Forgive me for posting this
It evoked a serious moment


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## Ruthanne (May 1, 2018)

1/. What does forgiveness mean to you?

Letting go of feelings of rage, anger and other emotions that can keep a person in a rut.

2/. How forgiving are you?

I am not as forgiving as I would like to be but am more than I used to be so I am making progress.  I forgive little things fast but not the horrible things so fast.

3/. Is there such a thing as being too forgiving?

I don't think so.  I think it's great to always forgive but one needs to work through emotions from the trauma first.  I forgive but don't forget when really bad things been done to me.  I really can't trust that person again.

Please comment on any of the above questions about ‘forgiveness’ or any other aspects you consider relevant.


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## WhatInThe (May 1, 2018)

Too many don't know how to move on regardless of forgiven or not. Others have to learn to prioritize and/or designate an event or behavior as 'forgiveable' including does anyone really need to be apologizing or seeking an apology.

 Human events even on a personal level are recorded on a balance sheet and sometimes simply have to be written off as a loss. I keep a lifetime copy of that sheet which irks some. Their accounting methods and record retention are a little different.


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## NancyNGA (May 2, 2018)

I'll limit this to... forgiving an act less serious than murder or bodily harm, and much more serious than simple name-calling.  

2/. How forgiving are you?
I can easily forgive and forget someone who hurts me personally, partly because I may have allowed it to happen.

I assume a person is a good person when I first meet them, and take them at their word. It's worth the chance of having one hurtful experience, if in exchange you can find out quickly if someone is dishonest, or out to take advantage.  Much better than spending your life being defensive and suspicious of everyone. Very seldom have I been hurt. If I was, I moved on quickly from that person, and forgot it completely. I can't even remember a case right off hand, for that very reason.  I learned this from a friend.

It's more difficult for me to forgive someone who hurts another person. But that's just instinct or human nature, with most people, I think. I can forgive that fairly easily too... as time passes...if it doesn't happen again.​.. If it continues, or expands to hurting even more people, then it becomes #3/. below...

3/. Is there such a thing as being too forgiving?
In my opinion, Yes. There are people who are so emotionally messed up they can disrupt the lives of everyone they come into contact with, their entire lives. They usually target the nicest most vulnerable people, because they have learned how to spot them quickly. Frankly, I would feel like a traitor and a hypocrite, if I forgave people like that. Although it's true that emotions involved in not forgiving someone can be debilitating if you dwell on them, I don't dwell on them. Not liking yourself is much more debilitating and constant.

I should add, that I've only known maybe 3 or 4 people like that my whole life.  None of them was ever able to change, or wanted to.


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## Sassycakes (May 2, 2018)

_In _my life I_ have forgiven many people and just moved along ,of course once  I_ knew the truth about their action I_ never was close to them again. There was one person in my life that I can say I truly hated. Not because of something she did to me but something she did to my sister and I will never forgive her._


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## ProsperosDaughter (May 2, 2018)

I used to be too forgiving; which made me an ill used doormat. 
Just because you forgive someone does not mean you have to associate with them. You forgive the person for yourself; to eliminate any bitter feelings you might have that will hurt you.


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