# Do younger people really not know how to shop and cook?



## GeorgiaXplant (Dec 4, 2015)

I read this the other day

www.yahoo.com/food/food-what-its-like-to-feed-a-family-for-less-163444429.html

and it just baffled me. I realize that $500/month is a very small budget for these days and especially in a city's "food desert". However...there are a lot of ways around this woman's problem of getting groceries home without a car and without breaking her back. For one thing, public transit to a "real" supermarket with her kids in tow to help get the groceries home. For another, a fold-away cart to take along for loading up as much of her purchases as possible. And yet another...presumably she and her kids all have backpacks for school. Because they're for school certainly doesn't mean they can't be used for anything else, and those backpacks will hold a lot of groceries.

Her kids can't be all THAT hungry. So school food is "gross"? Hungry kids will eat school cafeteria food. No reason why she should skip a meal, either.

Some planning (okay, a lot of planning) and batch cooking on the weekends or whenever there's a block of time available would not only solve her problem of a limited food budget but would probably also allow for extras from time to time.

It's frustrating to read stuff like this when there are obvious solutions. And it's hard to work up sympathy. Sometimes "I can't" really means "I won't".

Am I really that out of touch with real life? I was a single mother with three kids, too, worked one full-time and three part-time jobs, went to school at night carrying a full course, and still went with the kids bowling whenever possible and went with them to the library one evening a week. They didn't lack for "mom" time and didn't go hungry or anywhere close to it. Was it easy? Hell to the NO!


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## fureverywhere (Dec 4, 2015)

Found myself briefly in such a situation many years ago. I agree food stamps are pretty meager. But as you say...rice, pasta...I could give you 20 ways to make macaroni and cheese. There are ways to stretch a meal pretty easily with some imagination. We were fortunate that it was a small town. They had a generous food bank and all the supermarkets were walking distance...maybe a good six miles, but you could still walk it.


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## GeorgiaXplant (Dec 4, 2015)

The woman in the article lives in the Bronx and the places close by are bodegas where the prices are higher. So? Running to one of those places might save her time, but it costs more. The inconvenience of getting to a supermarket sure seems like a small trade off when it means more choices, better food and less cost. I just don't get her priorities.


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## fureverywhere (Dec 4, 2015)

Like you say even if you have to bus it and carry a few bags plus a backpack it's worth it to get to a supermarket. A big bag of rice in your backpack and you have dinners for a week on the cheap.


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## Agman (Dec 4, 2015)

*​Gotta have some beans for that rice, fur.  Makes for a more harmonious outcome.*


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## WhatInThe (Dec 4, 2015)

It's all part of the entitlement and instant gratification culture. Throw in some political correctness and we have made young people dependent rather than independent/self sufficient or learning to accept and work with what they actually have.


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## Shalimar (Dec 4, 2015)

Really? My work is primarily with the young, plus I have an adult son, nephew, and two DIL. Rarely do I run across these so called entitled persons. As always, a few spoiled individuals result in all young people being painted with the same brush. I was 

targeted when I was wet behind the ears also, because I was not mainstream. Hmmm. So much for their stories of gloom and doom about my future. I worked very hard to achieve what I have in my life, so have my kids, and the majority of the LARGE

CONTINGENT of young people I teach, mentor, counsel etc. Believe me, I have met many entitled persons of middle and senior years, certainly that is where you will usually find intolerance, greed, and bigotry, as well as ingrained provincialism. Many are old at forty. Each older generation sneers at those following ---says far more about us than those we target.


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## WhatInThe (Dec 4, 2015)

Too many including youngER older adults have become accustomed to a society where technology & pills give the appearance of the only solution to a problem. There are teens and many younger adults that cannot change a flat tire on a car, check oil or fluid levels, turn a wrench or bang a hammer or even sew/repair their own clothing. Many are mathematically and financially illiterate.

http://www.usnews.com/education/blo...s-of-teen-drivers-dont-know-basic-auto-repair

http://www.forbes.com/sites/tarabro...op-class-and-americas-high-skilled-workforce/

http://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/62...rain-dead-adult-cognitive-function-television

http://www.reviewjournal.com/news/education/many-schools-cutting-back-physical-education

http://sewessentiallysew.blogspot.com/2014/06/sewing-lost-skill-or-lost-art.html

http://www.usatoday.com/story/money...09/united-states-financial-literacy/12404527/

In short there have been a decades long slide in teaching basic modern day survival skills and/or walking around knowledge. It's not all their fault due to things like financial or political considerations. And technology fuels/feeds an instant gratification and entitlement culture because people find what they want much quicker and easier. Not all have these issues but these are expanding & increasing issues of consequence. By not teaching the basics and/or basic life skills it creates a culture of dependence because it's something where someone else will worry about those pesky things called details. Even if a person hires someone it takes away from learning the details or what actually goes into daily life or how the physical world works.

Part of the problem in today's economy is that you have several generations of high school and college graduates have been sold on the concept of a career, life is all about what you do for a living yet they don't teach the skills of daily living other than get a career, make money and pay someone else to do it.

There are many issues and causes but they are growing.


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## Shalimar (Dec 4, 2015)

Hmmm. Same comments were made of the hippies. As an example of one of the detested "freaks," aka flower children, supposedly a useless, debauched, degenerate, drugged out, lazy, doomed to failure generation, I have somehow avoided the 

terrible fate predicted by the "older" nay sayers of that era. In those less media  savvy times, we provided fodder for the intolerant and strait laced. Imagine how things can be skewed now in the modern era. Sensationalism sells. People are far less 

interested in the majority of wonderful young people who contribute to society, such as Canadian Craig Kielburger than in denigrating a minority. Frankly, I prefer the compassion, tolerance, and idealism of the young, to the pursed lip condemnation 

of so many of my peers, few of whom work with young people, and often have a rose coloured glasses rendition of the past. Ask how many women would willingly go back to the "good old days." Not many, things were great if you were a privileged 

white male, "entitled" indeed.


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## GeorgiaXplant (Dec 4, 2015)

The woman in the article doesn't have an entitled attitude as far as I can tell. She's simply clueless.


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## Cookie (Dec 4, 2015)

I agree, the woman in the article may not have the homemaking skills for some reason, probably due to not being taught or ignorance or lack of influences.  

That goes for everything.  There are people who can't sew on a button, sweep a floor properly or make a pie.  So what? It's no use being down on everyone who can't do the stuff you think they should do.  Sooner or later people learn or not, or suffer the consequences. Humans are not robots for god's sake.  We don't have all the answers to society's ills, so just let it be.  There are cooking classes in most places for those who are interested, and agencies who provide help and information as well as counseling.  

When I started out on my own I didn't know how to cook or do a lot of things, luckily I had friends who were good influences and taught me how to survive on very little in a healthy way. Nowadays, thanks to technology, all we have to do is look something up online and we have recipes, apps and tips for doing things.  There's no reason to be in the dark.  I think that article is pure exaggeration.


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## imp (Dec 4, 2015)

*Parenting: NOT for Everyone*



GeorgiaXplant said:


> .......Am I really that out of touch with real life? I was a single mother with three kids, too, worked one full-time and three part-time jobs, went to school at night carrying a full course, and still went with the kids bowling whenever possible and went with them to the library one evening a week. They didn't lack for "mom" time and didn't go hungry or anywhere close to it. Was it easy? Hell to the NO!



And for your efforts, you are to be  commended! In my own family, I watched with disgust as my sister and her husband bowed to the kids' every whim, just to "shut them up". The older girl got a large glass of milk, the younger wailed for  having a smaller one. Much of the time, milk was poured down the sink following mealtime.
Upon reaching driving age, each demanded, and got, a brand-new Pontiac Firebird! Neither worked until well out of high school, neither attended college. 

Just a few more hints at why I chose to not raise any kids of my own.   imp


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## Shalimar (Dec 4, 2015)

Cookie, I heartily agree.


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## imp (Dec 4, 2015)

WhatInThe said:


> Too many including youngER older adults have become accustomed to a society where technology & pills give the appearance of the only solution to a problem. There are teens and many younger adults that cannot change a flat tire on a car, check oil or fluid levels, turn a wrench or bang a hammer or even sew/repair their own clothing. Many are mathematically and financially illiterate......



The links provided are indeed substantive. The first one touched close to home, for when I was 16, I was repairing the cars of my friends, as well as keeping my own in top shape. Tore apart, and re-assembled my Dad's automatic transmission at 15! Why should I have been as I was? Innate need to prove to myself I could do what others could not. Have never really figured it out, but over a lifetime it sure saved a lot of money on car repairs!    imp


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## Shalimar (Dec 4, 2015)

Hmmm. I think learning to be a kind, compassionate, tolerant human being is paramount. No one else can do that for you, whereas others can cook, clean, repair etc. In the end, who we are matters the most. After we are gone, people will remember 

how we touched their lives far more than our "accomplishments" or lack of them. I think being "compassionately illiterate" is a far more serious deficiency than easily corrected holes in budgeting, car servicing, etc knowledge.


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## GeorgiaXplant (Dec 4, 2015)

Geez. Starting to feel sorry I mentioned it.

The point is that she's struggling and her three kids are hungry because she "only" gets $500/month in food stamps. If she'd educate herself about how and where to shop for groceries to get the most bang for her buck, then find a way to incorporate the food she buys into meals with real food value, that $500 would feed them well.

The way the article reads is that she's "too busy" to do that, and it's not convenient. Not even penny wise, merely pound foolish.


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## imp (Dec 4, 2015)

*"Geez. Starting to feel sorry I mentioned it."


*Been there, and felt that, more than one time. Something in  common, perhaps.....imp


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## Warrigal (Dec 4, 2015)

I've never been in this woman's predicament but I do have a mildly intellectually disabled granddaughter who has been trying to live independently. On her disability pension plus a small amount of money that she makes baby sitting life is very hard. Always hard.

She does her best and is learning how to make ends meet and she isn't too proud to buy food at the food bank and clothes at the charity shop. She would like to marry and have a family and is currently working towards a qualification in personal care for disabled people but I'm not sure whether she will be able to hold a job even when she gets one.

I do fear for her future but she will always have the support of her family.

When people don't have strong support it is important that the community provide some. Our church has been putting on cooking/food preparation courses for people who need ideas on how to provide nutritious meals on a tight budget. The course lasts about sis weeks and each week a communal meal is prepared together. The recipes are distributed and the participants go home with all the ingredients needed to prepare the same meal for the family.

It is very popular for obvious reasons but another benefit of the program is the encouragement that it offers to people who are struggling. Rather than condemnation they receive help to find better ways to cope with adversity and the knowledge that there are others in the same situation with whom they can form co-operative friendships.


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## Shalimar (Dec 4, 2015)

Well said Warri.


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## SifuPhil (Dec 4, 2015)

I don't see it as much as ignorance or laziness as I do an over-dependence upon technology. 

Some day that technology will fail, and then you'll see the true survivors.


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## mitchezz (Dec 4, 2015)

I have read of a program wheren older women visit younger single Mums and help them sort out their domestic situation. They help with budgeting, organisation, cooking, shopping etc until the younger women can manage by themselves. It's often the case that no one has ever shown them how to run a household.


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## The Inspector (Dec 4, 2015)

No one on TV runs a house


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## SifuPhil (Dec 4, 2015)

The Inspector said:


> No one on TV runs a house


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## Karen99 (Dec 5, 2015)

GeorgiaXplant said:


> Geez. Starting to feel sorry I mentioned it.
> 
> The point is that she's struggling and her three kids are hungry because she "only" gets $500/month in food stamps. If she'd educate herself about how and where to shop for groceries to get the most bang for her buck, then find a way to incorporate the food she buys into meals with real food value, that $500 would feed them well.
> 
> The way the article reads is that she's "too busy" to do that, and it's not convenient. Not even penny wise, merely pound foolish.



This woman deliberately chose to have three children knowing funds were low..so why not learn the survival skills necessary to give them the basic neccessities of life? It's fine that she gets her education, but too bad she didn't do that first.  I'm sure there are free services to help educate a woman like this in the practical aspects of feeding her kids.  It just has to be a priority.  Woman are great at networking and maybe she could find other women who are successful in this situation to mentor her.

Her present challenge is feeding her kids on $500 a month and you can either whine about why you can't do that or you can face up to your responsibility and have the satisfaction of seeing your kids well fed and never needing to share their friends food or go hungry. Georgia..I do agree with you..if feeding your kids isn't on top of the list...what is?


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## mitchezz (Dec 5, 2015)

None of us know her background or circumstances or what brought her to where she is today.


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## Karen99 (Dec 5, 2015)

mitchezz said:


> None of us know her background or circumstances or what brought her to where she is today.



Hi mitchezz...yes, the OP included a link which has her background story.


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## Karen99 (Dec 5, 2015)

mitchezz said:


> I have read of a program wheren older women visit younger single Mums and help them sort out their domestic situation. They help with budgeting, organisation, cooking, shopping etc until the younger women can manage by themselves. It's often the case that no one has ever shown them how to run a household.



This sounds like an excellent solution.


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## mitchezz (Dec 5, 2015)

Karen99 said:


> Hi mitchezz...yes, the OP included a link which has her background story.



Hi Karen,

Yeah I read that but all it really tells us is that she didn't have a great childhood and that she made a poor choice at 17. I'm glad she's turning her life around via education.


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## mitchezz (Dec 5, 2015)

Karen99 said:


> This sounds like an excellent solution.



From memory it's run by St Vincent de Paul Society. Not sure if they're in USA......it's a Catholic program.


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## BobF (Dec 5, 2015)

Yes, St Vincent De Paul does exist in the US.   It is a big and hard working group.


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## Karen99 (Dec 5, 2015)

mitchezz said:


> From memory it's run by St Vincent de Paul Society. Not sure if they're in USA......it's a Catholic program.



Hi Mitchezz...they are very much around.  they have thrift stores all over.


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## WhatInThe (Dec 5, 2015)

Karen99 said:


> This woman deliberately chose to have three children knowing funds were low..so why not learn the survival skills necessary to give them the basic neccessities of life? It's fine that she gets her education, but too bad she didn't do that first.  I'm sure there are free services to help educate a woman like this in the practical aspects of feeding her kids.  It just has to be a priority.  Woman are great at networking and maybe she could find other women who are successful in this situation to mentor her.
> 
> Her present challenge is feeding her kids on $500 a month and you can either whine about why you can't do that or you can face up to your responsibility and have the satisfaction of seeing your kids well fed and never needing to share their friends food or go hungry. Georgia..I do agree with you..if feeding your kids isn't on top of the list...what is?



Her present challenge...

 Not past or future, not blame but the present. This is where we're at: kids to be fed and bring up to be self sufficient which should include practical decision making skills let alone choices.


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## Butterfly (Dec 6, 2015)

WhatInThe said:


> Her present challenge...
> 
> Not past or future, not blame but the present. This is where we're at: kids to be fed and bring up to be self sufficient which should include practical decision making skills let alone choices.



Agreed.  And that's how I dealt with a stretch the food budget problem back in the day.  Here's the problem -- so many dollars for food.  First you cut out junk foods, crap snack foods, soft drinks.  Then you sit down and figure out what you can afford and how to stretch it.  Sometimes you have to get creative -- I knew about 10,000 things I could do with a pound of hamburger and things like that.  And I was no-nonsense about it -- this is your supper and mine -- no there is nothing "gross" about spaghetti with meat sauce -- and no, you can't make a sandwich instead -- eat your dinner.  And forget about pre-prepared foods, I actually cooked.   Also, there is nothing "gross" about school food -- eat your lunch at school so we can afford to have more to spend on breakfast and dinner.  When money is short we can't afford to be so picky, and we eat what we can afford. 

And we got through that rough patch and nobody starved or was malnourished.


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## WhatInThe (Dec 6, 2015)

Butterfly said:


> Agreed.  And that's how I dealt with a stretch the food budget problem back in the day.  Here's the problem -- so many dollars for food.  First you cut out junk foods, crap snack foods, soft drinks.  Then you sit down and figure out what you can afford and how to stretch it.  Sometimes you have to get creative -- I knew about 10,000 things I could do with a pound of hamburger and things like that.  And I was no-nonsense about it -- this is your supper and mine -- no there is nothing "gross" about spaghetti with meat sauce -- and no, you can't make a sandwich instead -- eat your dinner.  And forget about pre-prepared foods, I actually cooked.   Also, there is nothing "gross" about school food -- eat your lunch at school so we can afford to have more to spend on breakfast and dinner.  When money is short we can't afford to be so picky, and we eat what we can afford.
> 
> And we got through that rough patch and nobody starved or was malnourished.




Exactly. I used to be a big coupon clipper buying name brand products but have shifted to mostly house brand generics(have to hunt for one that suits you) but in either case I have been ridiculed or chastised as being cheap yet many of those same people have been in financial crap for years including bankruptcy.

 I see little or no effort by many to save money or shop a lower price. Shopping or being a consumer is a modern day survival skill as is doing as much as  one can do for themselves, by themselves and not depend on someone else doing it for them.

 I personally see an entitlement culture that wants no part of thrifty or if one is not a so called expert why bother to even learn how to do something when all you have to do is find the money to pay for it.

There is a reason there are old sayings like 'sometimes you have to take matters into your own hands'.


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## Shalimar (Dec 6, 2015)

When  I was in my twenties, I was amazed at how few people made "real" food. Betty Crocker was not welcome at our house. Everything was made from scratch, partially because money was tight, but also because homemade tastes far superior. 

Along with a variety of  meat dishes, I have learned to cook gourmet vegetarian fare. Once one learns the basics, cooking becomes an adventure--even beans and rice can be transformed  into a gastronomical delight--without gassy after effects, if a 

smidgeon of mustard powder is added to the pot. Lol. Judicious use of herbs and spices transform plain fare into delicious meals. My Kids still ask for black bean soup with cheese and cornbread, peanut porridge, (which tastes like peanut butter 

cookie batter, and contains half your daily protein requirement,) Toad in the Hole, etc. Stir fries, and curries also. I baked my own bread, canned, froze, pickled, for the winter. Sold pies and baking where I could. Still bake for Xmas. I found that most of 

my genervation, with the exception of those of us who were poor, disdained homemade. Hmm. a status thing, I suppose. I felt like a dinosaur. Lol. Many of today's young cook and bake as I have always done. How do I know? Why because I have taught 

classes re simple, affordable cuisine in a variety of styles. The majority of my students have been young people. Frankly, the majority of "entitled" persons I meet are my age or older. Oooh, are they smug and self righteous. Longing for the "good old 

days," which, if one is a woman-- never existed. I have little in common with such negativity, and much prefer the vibrancy of a younger mind set--not that such a thing is limited to the young. Some are old at thirty five, some ageless at ninety. A certain 

capacity for self deprecating humour helps keep one from fossilising into an aged mind set. Life is very funny after all!


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## SifuPhil (Dec 6, 2015)

I was just thinking ...

Feeding a family of 4 on $500/mn ... McDonald's has a dollar menu. 4x$1x3=$12/day= $360/mn., with enough left over for some chips and sodas ... :applouse:


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## Shalimar (Dec 6, 2015)

Philly, lolol. For those who have expressed an interest, toad in the hole consists of sausages in a pan, covered with Yorkshire pudding batter and baked in the oven. Mmmmm.


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## SifuPhil (Dec 6, 2015)

Shalimar said:


> ... For those who have expressed an interest, toad in the hole consists of sausages in a pan, covered with Yorkshire pudding batter and baked in the oven. Mmmmm.



Ah, okay, thank you - that sounds delicious!

I was having dark thoughts of it being a freshly-caught frog stuffed inside a deep-fried doughnut ... :chargrined:


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## Shalimar (Dec 6, 2015)

Philly, clearly you need therapy. I might know someone....


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## SifuPhil (Dec 6, 2015)

Shalimar said:


> Philly, clearly you need therapy. I might know someone....



Too late. Three of my former therapissts are now driving Porsches ...


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## Cookie (Dec 6, 2015)

When I was a poor single mom, back in the early 70s, living on the west  coast most of my quasi/hippie/vegetarian friends and myself made our own  bread, soups, ate brown rice with beans and veggies, pressed our own  juices, grew our own veggies.  We kept our grains and dried food in jars  on an open shelf in the kitchen, sewed and knitted our own clothes, drank herbal teas and were healthier  and better fed than our rich relatives for a fraction of the cost, and heck, we were even prettier too. 

I think people's dependence on too much meat really cuts into their food money and leaves little room for creative eating/cooking. It's a lifestyle choice and many believe that to eat well you have to have lots of red meat and protein, which isn't exactly true. People do need to be educated on how to eat/live economically and unfortunately if young people have no guidance in this regard they are stuck using television and movies as role models.


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## Butterfly (Dec 6, 2015)

Some people's idea of cooking is to put a frozen dinner into the microwave!


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## imp (Dec 6, 2015)

Butterfly said:


> Some people's idea of cooking is to put a frozen dinner into the microwave!



Ha! Cooking is cooking, is it not? My Nephew invited us to dinner prepared by his new wife. Sitting down, we watched as she withdrew a large dish from the microwave: Lasagna! 

Right out of the frozen package. My wife inquired about home made lasagna. His wife immediately began railing about how preparation is "too much trouble', .....blah, blah. She couldn't cook was the fact of the matter. 15 years later now, poor Dan does all the cooking. imp


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## mitchezz (Dec 6, 2015)

They're affectionately known as  Vinnies over here.


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## mitchezz (Dec 6, 2015)

imp said:


> Ha! Cooking is cooking, is it not? My Nephew invited us to dinner prepared by his new wife. Sitting down, we watched as she withdrew a large dish from the microwave: Lasagna!
> 
> Right out of the frozen package. My wife inquired about home made lasagna. His wife immediately began railing about how preparation is "too much trouble', .....blah, blah. She couldn't cook was the fact of the matter. 15 years later now, poor Dan does all the cooking. imp



I think your wife was rude. When being served a meal the correct response should be Thank You.


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## Shalimar (Dec 6, 2015)

Wow, that was rude. Who cares if it was homemade or not? It was kind of her to feed you. I would not have invited you and your wife again. Family does not embarass family.


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## Cookie (Dec 6, 2015)

Imp, your poor nephew Dan, who has to cook himself.  I see nothing wrong with this as cooking isn't just a woman's job -- this is the 21st Century.  Frozen lasagna is A-OK in my books and it would have been nice if your wife and you had been more appreciative.


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