# Online Dating for Seniors...For or Against?



## SeaBreeze (Aug 16, 2013)

I've been married for almost forty years to a wonderful man, but if I was interested in a serious relationship, I don't think I would seek it out through internet dating.  What do you think?  Have you visited a dating site with success, or were you disappointed?  I think I'd just look forward to bumping into someone of interest around my hometown.  Please voice your opinion in the poll.


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## That Guy (Aug 16, 2013)

Gee, it's been over ten years but I did try them and it ranged from OMG bad to OMG good.  Actually connected with a women I liked in high school . . . 

Had to vote "None of the above" as my results varied so wildly.  After that experience . . . I quit.


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## Bee (Aug 16, 2013)

I am not interested in a relationship with another man but if I was I would be the same as you SeaBreeze and hope I would meet someone from my hometown......................so the answer was no and never will.


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## Warrigal (Aug 16, 2013)

I've been married for 50 years to the same man so I'm speaking hypothetically.

I think I'd like to size someone up discreetly without them knowing that I was interested before any dating overtures were extended or received. Putting my name on a list of availables would not be the way that I would prefer to look for a companion.

However I have a niece who found her partner after putting up a pretty feisty advert on a dating site. She basically said this is who I am, and these are my interests and if you don't share them, then don't bother to respond. It worked.


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## Casper (Aug 17, 2013)

_*We've been happily married for nearly 47 years........so the last option was what I selected.
I do know of one younger couple who met online and are now happily married with 2 children.
It works for quite a lot of people but I don't know if I'd like to take that kind of chance.
*_


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## Jillaroo (Aug 17, 2013)

_At my age and being on my own for so long it's the last thing i would want is a man in my life._


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## Michael. (Aug 17, 2013)

.





.​


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## Amethyst1 (Aug 17, 2013)

*Against Internet dating*

As a single man, I have tried internet romance through several low/no cost
sites and I advise against it for most seniors, especially men. Some younger seniors may be successful.
depending on where you live, how choosy you are, your age, race and of course
your photo which should be excellent. I have been so disappointed at the deception,
hypocrisy, vanity and pickiness of the participants that I will never bother with it.
PlentyofFish is the most notorious and largest free site where men outnumber women, easily.

SeaBreeze  why are you asking if you are happily married anyway?


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## SifuPhil (Aug 17, 2013)

I blogged about my last attempt at using an online dating service ...



> Ahhh…Spring.  When a young man’s fancy turns to thoughts of roman*tic love; of quiet  times spent with his Lady Fair; leisurely strolls through the park while  exchang*ing mean*ing*ful glances…
> 
> BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Wel*come to Hell !!!
> 
> ...



The full article is on my *Philstivus blog* if you'd like to see it ...

That being out of the way, I voted "_No but I would consider using them_" because the original post mentioned SENIOR dating services. Also it made no mention of Russian Bride sites, so I'm keeping THAT option open for now ...


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## SeaBreeze (Aug 17, 2013)

Amethyst1 said:


> SeaBreeze  why are you asking if you are happily married anyway?



I was just asking to hear what seniors think about those sites, and if they're using them.  From everything I've heard, they sound a little bit risky, especially to someone who's elderly.  They're easier to scam out of money, or physically abuse in my opinion.  Honestly, if I ever lost my husband, I'd be devastated.  I wouldn't want a relationship with anyone else.  I would be content to live alone, with the loving memories of my hubby to keep me company, along with my dog and cat. :love_heart: :sentimental:


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## SeaBreeze (Aug 17, 2013)

*Sifuphil*, did she take her medication that day?


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## SifuPhil (Aug 17, 2013)

SeaBreeze said:


> *Sifuphil*, did she take her medication that day?



Unfortunately no ...


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## rkunsaw (Aug 18, 2013)

I am happily married but if I was single I might give it a try. Who knows? Never say never.


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## TICA (Aug 18, 2013)

My nephew met his wife through e-Harmony and I have two very close friends who also met their partners through a dating site.  I tried one a few years ago and had a lovely e-mail relationship for about a month.  We actually met once for dinner, but didn't have a thing to say to each other that had any meaning.  We chit-chatted and he was a nice man, but I couldn't see having any kind of relationship.  He was BORING!!!!   I know that sounds silly, but honestly, he wasn't anyone that I'd want to hang out with for any length of time.
That was enough for me though.  Single I am and single I'll stay unless I happen to meet someone that is the perfect match and chances of that are slim to none.  I couldn't even tell you what the perfect match would be.   I just don't want to bother with the drama that goes along with a new romance.


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## That Guy (Aug 18, 2013)

Too bad these sites weren't happening when I was studying psychology in grad school.  Would have been great material for discussion.  Anyway, couldn't help but become interested in varying degrees of narcissism displayed in the ads.  Many seemed to be way over the top in their wonderfully high opinions of themselves and/or had an impossible laundry list of exactly who and what they wanted.  Most just seemed to be an unrealistic wish list.  I'm glad some people have found each other this way, though.  Although flawed, it's still another way to connect...


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## JustBonee (Aug 18, 2013)

I'm open to a future relationship, but not that way!  Things need to be spontaneous and natural in forming any sort of connection with another person.   
To me those sites reek of desperation and phoniness... IMO,  a real turn-off.  So put me in the AGAINST column.


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## SifuPhil (Aug 18, 2013)

But what if you're a shut-in? What if, like certain people on this forum, you are barred for life from ever entering night clubs, bars, theaters, bingo halls and public libraries? 
(It's a long story ... 
	

	
	
		
		

		
			





 )

What if you have all the real-world social graces of a spastic bull elephant? 

What if you've exhausted the available supply of local talent?

What if you're just curious ... or yellow?


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## JustBonee (Aug 18, 2013)

SifuPhil said:


> But what if you're a shut-in? What if, like certain people on this forum, you are barred for life from ever entering night clubs, bars, theaters, bingo halls and public libraries?
> (It's a long story ...
> 
> 
> ...



Well, if it's gotta be... make sure they know it will be romance in a broom closet!


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## SifuPhil (Aug 18, 2013)

Boo's Mom said:


> Well, if it's gotta be... make sure they know it will be romance in a broom closet!



Yeah, those are fun ... at least, that's what I've _heard_ ... 

Actually, I can see the advantages of dating services from a _theoretical_ stand-point, but I admit that the _application_ doesn't always live up to expectations. Many friends of mine have tried services and they were disappointed, but a small number were happy with the results.  I know there's a risk involved, but if you keep a few basic principles in mind you can't go far wrong.


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## Archer (Aug 19, 2013)

I never would, I figure if I couldn't attract someone off my own bat socially, I wouldn't bother...
After my sister died, my brother in-law tried a few of these sites and every woman, without fail, was a gold digger...out for a man with a house and some money to look after them...!!
One b***h on the first date, despite being told it was dutch, had the gaul to say she had left her money home by mistake which forced Rob to pay for her meal (the most expensive on the menu) and drinks...needless to say there was no second date...


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## pchinvegas (Aug 20, 2013)

I had a 6 year relationship that started from an internet dating site and although that relationship is now over it was good while it lasted.I really don't know how to explain it but I am very happy and content alone right now. I have friends and family that keep me busy and work and I enjoy my alone time.
So, if your lonely, go for it. It's easy to read a profile, chat or email back and forth and follow someones status and conversations with others and get a good idea of what they are all about. Then phone calls and public meeting till your comfortable. It can work.


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## That Guy (Aug 20, 2013)

I have noticed one thing since I've slowed down in the female companionship department:  I've got lots of extra money . . . !


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## Amethyst1 (Aug 20, 2013)

I think that the dating sites work best for those people who are both good looking to each other
and for those couples for whom looks do not matter as much. Everyone is looking for a spark
or a light to go off and when that fails, they let it go.


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## fureverywhere (Oct 26, 2016)

My experience is a bunch of vain male twits who want a Victoria Secret model...even if they are paunchy and gray themselves. The pickings for women seeking women are much easier. So easy that after a few weeks of conversation they're ready to pack up their cats and move in. But regardless I'd rather meet people in person at this stage of my life.


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## Grumpy Ol' Man (Oct 26, 2016)

On-line dating?  Just a minute and let me ask my wife if it's okay...........

If I weren't married to the most beautiful lady in the world, I still would not go to an on-line dating service.  Just read way too much about the "crazies" out there.  If I were to have a relationship, it would need to be with someone I have known for some time... know and trust.


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## Aunt Bea (Oct 26, 2016)

My grandmother used to say*"If you find your man in a bar you'll probably lose him in a bar!"

*That sort of sums up my thinking about internet dating.


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## Carla (Oct 26, 2016)

I'm not a trusting person to begin with so I would be very disappointed if someone lied to me from the gitgo. I really do not know anyone personally that have used these sites but I have read where people claim to be "in love" with online connections and I just don't understand that claim at all. This is before meeting or even speaking to someone on the phone. How can that be? I think some people can and do meet people online and move on to have a real relationship, but the odds are not favorable, IMO. While I'm not against them, it is doubtful I would ever use one.


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## MarkinPhx (Oct 26, 2016)

I tried it but with limited success. However, my niece met her husband on an online site and they have been married for almost 10 years now. I'm fine with being single at this point in my life but who knows what the future will bring ? It just won't be the result of an online dating site !


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## Marie5656 (Oct 26, 2016)

When I was younger, before internet dating sites were out there, I joined a couple singles groups, and placed and answered some newspaper ads.  Not sure I would answer or suggest answering Internet sites now.  To many cons out there, and catfishers.  ANd too many seniors especially can be taken advantage of


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## fureverywhere (Oct 26, 2016)

I could hang out in a local bookstore café for a week and get some very inviting phone numbers easy


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## nitelite (Oct 26, 2016)

I tried it a few years back and threw in the towel. Hey if we're both 60 then don't expect me to look 45. Also found that if a man doesn't feel the 'spark' on first meeting then he has no intentions of getting to know you. Nothing wrong with just being friends if you give it a chance.


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## SeaBreeze (Jul 30, 2018)




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## Mike (Jul 31, 2018)

If you are a confident person, then you don't/shouldn't
need help speaking to people and finding somebody that
you like and the feeling is mutual.

Mike.


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## MarciKS (Jun 7, 2020)

no longer interested in a relationship with a man ever again.


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## hellomimi (Jun 7, 2020)

As far as internet dating or dating of seniors, I'm the type who will see what's in it while taking all necessary precautions. Finding love at this time of COVID-19 will certainly be an unforgettable experience. Not all friendships turn into romantic relationships, but just knowing and interacting with a decent fellow can make life more interesting. I understand it isn't for everyone but I'd rather do it than regret later why I didn't take the chance.


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## fuzzybuddy (Jun 7, 2020)

I voted f*or None of the above. *I'm not in the market for anyone. I believe we go through stages in our lives, which are more or less hormone driven. I don't think it's mere coincidence that we find a mate in our 20s. My hormones have been in storage at the bottom of closet somewhere for a long time now.


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## Judycat (Jun 7, 2020)

Starting and maintaining a romantic relationship is too much trouble for me anymore. I am just starting to get my own life back and I've had enough grief for this lifetime. Relationships are for easygoing people with no emotional or psychological issues. Who wants to endlessly untangle someone else's knots. I don't.


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## MarciKS (Jun 7, 2020)

fuzzybuddy said:


> I voted f*or None of the above. *I'm not in the market for anyone. I believe we go through stages in our lives, which are more or less hormone driven. I don't think it's mere coincidence that we find a mate in our 20s. My hormones have been in storage at the bottom of closet somewhere for a long time now.


fuzzy i still have use of my hormones i'm just too old and too fat and too tired to care anymore. besides, can't seem to find anyone that's right for me so rather than repeating disaster after disaster it's easier to sit and read a book. lol!


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## OneEyedDiva (Jun 7, 2020)

My husband and I were together for 28 years before he died. I always said if something happened to him, "I don't want another one"....in other words, I don't even want to be bothered dating again.  I admit though, I wouldn't mind having a "friend *without* benefits". One of the best friends I had in my life was male and we were strictly platonic.


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## MarciKS (Jun 7, 2020)

i've had several just male friends with no benefits. but i find that after a while the call of the hormones is too much for them or once they realize i'm not gonna comply they hit the road. so i pretty much said the hell with it.


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## hellomimi (Jun 7, 2020)

I voted None of the Above because my experience with online dating is still in progress. I have no pre-conceived  notions of finding my KISA (knight in shining armor) whether online or IRL. It'll come if it's meant for me. The interaction with men who have lots of gray matter is much better, if not  cheaper, than talking to a therapist.


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## Happyflowerlady (Jun 7, 2020)

I have been happily married for many years, and my husband and I met on an internet Christian website.  He was in North Carolina, and I was in Idaho, and we both worked long hours, so finding time to communicate was sometimes difficult.  However, the benefit to that was that we spent a long time, just writing back and forth to each other on email as we each had time, and by the time we actually met each other in person, we pretty much knew a lot about each other. 

Back then, Yahoo Messenger had a live chat that people could use, although with a dial-up modem, it was slow and not very dependable. 
We didn’t have time for that a whole lot, because I had to get up before 4am to chat before Bobby went to work, and I didn’t get home at night and back in my house until after 9pm, which was after 11 pm his time. 

When something happened that I was going to change my job, I decided that this would be the only chance that either one of us would have to actually meet each other. 
 I flew out to meet Bobby, and stayed to get married. 
He was a director for a small Christian Rescue Mission at that time, and I really enjoyed helping him out with that position.


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## Gaer (Jun 7, 2020)

Never joined a dating site.  Won't..  Men are EVERYWHERE!  
Happy alone.  he would have to be EXTRAORDINARY!


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## MarciKS (Jun 7, 2020)

Gaer said:


> Never joined a dating site.  Won't..  Men are EVERYWHERE!
> Happy alone.  he would have to be EXTRAORDINARY!


After the crap I've been through he'd have to be close to Godly before I'd even bother giving it a second thought.


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## C'est Moi (Jun 7, 2020)

Well, I considered dating, but then I decided my husband probably wouldn't like the idea.


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## jujube (Jun 7, 2020)

My experiences ranged from very bad to very good.  Thank goodness for the "very good", because we've been together for almost 11 years now.   

It's not a lot different from asking "how do you like shopping at Aldi?" or "how is that Ford you bought working out?"


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