# What is the Best Way to Meet Elderly Singles in Your Area?



## TabbyAnn (Sep 30, 2021)

International forums like this with general information and good wishes are nice and have a place, but many elderly seniors need mutual physical support and conversation with seniors local to their specific area. I moved to Southern Indiana just before the pandemic and planned to join a near by church and card club. Both closed down during the pandemic and I didn’t get to join. Then I fell and injured my leg and can no long sit in a pew or chair for an hour but would enjoy conversation, correspondence, email, and whatever mutual support I could establish with another senior. But I have no idea how to initiate this. On-line dating services don't seem appropriate since it isn't a dating situation.


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## Pecos (Sep 30, 2021)

TabbyAnn said:


> International forums like this with general information and good wishes are nice and have a place, but many elderly seniors need mutual physical support and conversation with seniors local to their specific area. I moved to Southern Indiana just before the pandemic and planned to join a near by church and card club. Both closed down during the pandemic and I didn’t get to join. Then I fell and injured my leg and can no long sit in a pew or chair for an hour but would enjoy conversation, correspondence, email, and whatever mutual support I could establish with another senior. But I have no idea how to initiate this. On-line dating services don't seem appropriate since it isn't a dating situation.


If you are able to walk even slowly,  having a dog with you will help a great deal. My wife and I both find that when we are accompanied by a dog, people (especially seniors) will go out of their way to talk.


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## oldpop (Sep 30, 2021)

You can always start up a conversation in the grocery store.


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## katlupe (Sep 30, 2021)

In my area, which is downtown in a small city, there are a lot of activities to meet others. The library offers various activities for different ages. There are four parks within walking distance of my senior living apartment building and people are out there on nice days. People are friendly here too. Everyone offers to help me because of the mobility chair or stop and talk a minute or so. There is a coffee shop around the corner and it is busy all day long, people inside talking and some on their phones or doing crossword puzzles. And we have a senior center that people go to for lunch.

I think to meet people you have to go to some type of activity, like a class or something and make friends with others. Sounds like you might need a cushion or something comfortable to sit on. On Facebook, there are local groups where you can meet people in your area or at least know what kind of activities are going on that might interest you.


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## funsearcher! (Oct 1, 2021)

Church, senior center, meetup bookclubs, classes are all places to find new people


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## feywon (Oct 1, 2021)

Senior Centers can be very good. These days even a lot of small communities (only about 800 people in my town and our center serves a couple of surrounding communities as well i think) have them. While i don't belong to ours here i have donated things to it and gotten some info about things thru it.  
Keep in mind you don't have to go and spend all day or eat there every day. But check out what your local one one has to offer.  Our senior center went to all meal delivery during worst of pandemic, but now  i think they are serving in the building again.  What's going on near you will depend on where your locality is in terms of vaccinated people, state mask mandates etc.


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## Aunt Bea (Oct 1, 2021)

Find a church that you can join on your terms.

Many of the churches in this area offer video services that you can watch at your convenience.  Most have an event calendar that will let you pick and choose the things that interest you.

Good luck!


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## feywon (Oct 1, 2021)

Also i wouldn't be so quick to look only to other seniors.   My whole life i've had friendships with both people older than myself and younger usually to the mutual benefit of all concerned.  i met one of the town 'characters' because we have the same first name and had seen each other at the landfill, the USPS and local grocery in rapid succession and someone called to her and we both turned. She's closing in on 90.  My youngest friend is the son of the first contractor we hired here.  He was 12 when we met him in 2012 and we've watched him grow into a responsible and caring young man who now works at the local grocery and is like most of their employees helpful to everyone.  He has even helped his Dad sometimes with our semi-annual stovepipe cleaning.


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## officerripley (Oct 1, 2021)

Almost all of the above suggested activities and places are still shut down (or mostly shut down) in this area. And even before the lockdown, the stuff that was geared toward seniors was dropping like flies. Some areas are better than others obviously (not obvious to people like my huzz but still).


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## WheatenLover (Oct 1, 2021)

Church. Senior Center (for ages 50+).


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## Lawrence (Oct 1, 2021)

In Colorado up the Poudre Canion at the town of Bellvue not far from where I live is a establishment called Mishawaka. A resturant with a bar and they have live music entertainers a lot of who are from the past by gone days. The place is well know from the 1960's and 70's with the flower power and the hippies. Timothy Leary was known to go there with his magic mushrooms and LSD. If you go there you could meet some old pot smoking but draging letf over hippies for the age of aquarius.


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## Packerjohn (Oct 1, 2021)

I dropped into a senior center just the other day.  All I saw was a bunch of senior ladies sitting playing cards; 4 to a table.  The trouble was they have had their facemasks on so I quickly left.


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## Sunny (Oct 2, 2021)

Or live in a seniors-only community, like I do. We have over 8,000 residents, and you have to be at least 55 to live here. There are many communities for seniors popping up all over the country.


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## Packerjohn (Oct 2, 2021)

I get the feeling that it's much easier to meet a dog than to meet a lady.  Where I live pretty well all the senior ladies have bought dogs after their husbands went to their final reward.  Sometimes I think I have to compete with some 4 legged canine.  The trouble is the little doggies are so "cute" and they always win.  Seems I'm the loser and those "cute little doggies" always win.  I guess with women and dogs it's "love at first bite."


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## Robert59 (Oct 2, 2021)

My Senior Center here doesn't allow dating or touching of any kind. They have camera's watching you. This is why I don't go to my senior center anymore.


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## Marie5656 (Oct 2, 2021)

*I live in a seniors only apartment building (over 62).  Have made a lot of good friends here. There is also a senior community center across the street.
I, personally, am only looking for friendship among my fellow seniors, male and female.  No dating in my case.  Many of my friends in the apartment bldg feel the same way*


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## John cycling (Oct 2, 2021)

Robert59 said:


> My Senior Center here doesn't allow dating or touching of any kind. They have camera's watching you. This is why I don't go to my senior center anymore.



That's ridiculous.  The senior center here is likewise totally worthless and I never go to it for that reason.


Packerjohn said:


> I get the feeling that it's much easier to meet a dog than to meet a lady.  Where I live pretty well all the senior ladies have bought dogs after their husbands went to their final reward.  Sometimes I think I have to compete with some 4 legged canine.  The trouble is the little doggies are so "cute" and they always win.  Seems I'm the loser and those "cute little doggies" always win.  I guess with women and dogs it's "love at first bite."



It's even worse with women who have cats, and all the disgusting mess that they make.


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## Gaer (Oct 2, 2021)

I can think of nothing worse than going to a Senior center, or a card club, or a book club or a church!
I would run away screaming!


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## TabbyAnn (Oct 3, 2021)

I notice that not one person on this thread has mentioned a personal successful friend they’ve made through any of the suggestions they’ve offered.


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## officerripley (Oct 3, 2021)

TabbyAnn said:


> I notice that not one person on this thread has mentioned a personal successful friend they’ve made through any of the suggestions they’ve offered.


It might be due to the fact that _*some *_aren't looking for a friend, rather they're looking for a spouse (namely a cook, housecleaner, and laundress).


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## Packerjohn (Oct 3, 2021)

Looking for a cook sounds rather negative and very unromantic.  You know some of us must still believe in romance like holding hands, sitting on a bench and chatting and even going out to a restaurant.  Hey, maybe I'm outdated and just not trendy anymore?


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## Della (Oct 3, 2021)

TabbyAnn said:


> I notice that not one person on this thread has mentioned a personal successful friend they’ve made through any of the suggestions they’ve offered.


When we first moved to this town we knew no one at all.  I joined the library book club simply by asking if they had one and then showing up.  That was 20 years ago and I've made 15 good female friends and one male one friend from that club. (The male friend and I usually go to lunch afterward, my husband sometimes joins us. )

Getting to know people through discussions about the book we had all read is a great method.  Say the book is about an adoption.  People talk about their own experiences of having tried to adopt or were adopted themselves.  We've all grown close and even had chain e-mails about our books during the Covid shut down.


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## Aunt Bea (Oct 3, 2021)

It might be more productive to focus on what you have to offer.

If you find a productive use for your time you are likely to meet like minded people that share your interests, values, etc...

Even if you fail to establish new relationships or friendships you will have something to look forward to that hopefully provides a little meaning, purpose, or direction in your daily life.


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## Marie5656 (Oct 3, 2021)

TabbyAnn said:


> I notice that not one person on this thread has mentioned a personal successful friend they’ve made through any of the suggestions they’ve offered.



I consider many people in my senior only apartment building as friends. Some on different levels as others.  There are maybe 3 or 4 people I have developed what I see as a true friendship with...we spend more time with each other, take walks, share more personal info. This small group are the ones who you know are there if you need a ride somewhere, a shoulder to lean on, etc.


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## TabbyAnn (Oct 3, 2021)

Marie5656 said:


> I consider many people in my senior only apartment building as friends. Some on different levels as others. There are maybe 3 or 4 people I have developed what I see as a true friendship with...we spend more time with each other, take walks, share more personal info. This small group are the ones who you know are there if you need a ride somewhere, a shoulder to lean on, etc.


It is good that you have been able to make a true friendship from those in your senior apartment building.  I am in my own house and had hoped there were ways to make a more immediate contacts than selling the house and moving to a senior complex, which will eventually happen anyway but will take a period of time. I'm further incapacitated by a recent fall and leg injury and cannot walk without a walker. So suggestions to walk a dog in a park are out along with sitting for an hour in a pew or chair.  It's good to know there are friendly people in the senior apartment buildings.


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## Jules (Oct 3, 2021)

Not that this is the original question. Do they still have Red Hat clubs for women?   In theory, it was a way to meet other women who also needed a friend.  

Long before isolation with Covid, I used to see older men browsing in the grocery stores.  It was amazing how many would stop and chat, like they wanted a longer conversation.  I’m definitely not ‘hot’, they just seemed lonely.


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## TabbyAnn (Oct 3, 2021)

Aunt Bea said:


> It might be more productive to focus on what you have to offer.
> 
> If you find a productive use for your time you are likely to meet like minded people that share your interests, values, etc...
> 
> Even if you fail to establish new relationships or friendships you will have something to look forward to that hopefully provides a little meaning, purpose, or direction in your daily life.


I stated in my opening post what I have to offer is conversation, correspondence and email for the time being, since I fell and injured my leg and am on a walker. So, communication is what I’m looking for in others. The most productive use of my time right now is to hobble around my house and try to maintain myself, my house and my car, while in an incapacitated state. I’ve hired a housekeeper to help me inside and a yard man to mow the grass and help me outside. What close friends have you developed by productive uses of your time and focusing on what you have to offer?


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## Aunt Bea (Oct 4, 2021)

TabbyAnn said:


> I stated in my opening post what I have to offer is conversation, correspondence and email for the time being, since I fell and injured my leg and am on a walker. So, communication is what I’m looking for in others. The most productive use of my time right now is to hobble around my house and try to maintain myself, my house and my car, while in an incapacitated state. I’ve hired a housekeeper to help me inside and a yard man to mow the grass and help me outside. What close friends have you developed by productive uses of your time and focusing on what you have to offer?


I apologize for offering a suggestion.


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