# Conflicted where to retire and what lifestyle would best suite me.



## Aintgettinanyyounger (Feb 4, 2020)

completely lost where to retire. I have family in the tri state area which is very expensive to live. I could move south and live very comfortable or Stay but limit my retirement dreams. This seems like it would be a common situation. I want to be around for my kids and grandkids but I don’t want to sit around waiting for them to pay attention to me.


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## retiredtraveler (Feb 4, 2020)

Yes. It's a common situation, but no answers. Too many variables depending on how close to family you are and what lifestyle you want in retirement along with a hundred other things. We live in midwest, and really don't like it much. But our family is around and we see them regularly. That may or may not apply to you. You say 'pay attention to me'. Does it work the other way around?


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## Lee (Feb 4, 2020)

My choice would be to live where you will be happier. If living where it is more economical is a factor you can use the surplus cash to visit them.

In a lot of cases You cannot count on the kids paying attention to you just because you move closer, they have their own lives these days and will fit you in when and if it suits them.


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## rkunsaw (Feb 4, 2020)

I can tell you something about living close to your kids. One daughter lives 75 miles away. Two other daughters in different places each about 1500 miles from us. Those two come every year and spend a week or so with us. The one that lives 75 miles away has been here twice in the 13 years we've been here and then only for a couple of hours each time. 

So living close to the kids doesn't always mean you'll see them more often. It depends on the kids.


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## ClassicRockr (Feb 4, 2020)

As far as kids go, there are those Seniors that hold way to much "thinking" that the kids/grandkids will be in contact with them much. Sometimes the kids/grandkids do, but many times, like already stated...…….they will do their own thing. And then, the Seniors will get pissed about what's happening. 

You have a choice, just make the right one. You know your kids.


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## Aintgettinanyyounger (Feb 4, 2020)

retiredtraveler said:


> Yes. It's a common situation, but no answers. Too many variables depending on how close to family you are and what lifestyle you want in retirement along with a hundred other things. We live in midwest, and really don't like it much. But our family is around and we see them regularly. That may or may not apply to you. You say 'pay attention to me'. Does it work the other way around?


I wasn't trying to sound negative with the pay attention to me comment. I’m very close to my daughter but she is a young adult she is going to have all her work and life responsibilities ahead of her. She would be crushed if i left the area plus I would want to be a part of my grandkids everyday lives.


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## ClassicRockr (Feb 4, 2020)

Aintgettinanyyounger said:


> I wasn't trying to sound negative with the pay attention to me comment. I’m very close to my daughter but she is a young adult she is going to have all her work and life responsibilities ahead of her. She would be crushed if i left the area plus I would want to be a part of my grandkids everyday lives.


So, why ask..……...stay! Plain and simple.


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## Manatee (Feb 4, 2020)

We have found that you can't count on kids staying put.  At one point we had a son in Miami and a daughter in the Seattle area.  He went out to see his little sister and liked it and stayed.  We raised them here in Florida.  Our daughter raised her two kids out there, but now that they are grown and on their own, they live in the northeast.  We are reasonably close to Tampa airport, so it is easy for them to come see the old folks.  People like to visit Florida anyway.


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## bingo (Feb 4, 2020)

i'd  just stay close to what family i have....that can peep in on me


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## OneEyedDiva (Feb 8, 2020)

You might try taking this comprehensive quiz to give you some ideas. The results are based upon your specific answers to questions. We had thrown around the idea of making a move a couple of times so I took the quiz a few years back just out of curiosity. Some of the places matched what had come up with on my own. Interesting, pertinent and very detailed information is provided about each choice. You may ultimately decide to stay as close as you can to family though.  Family is one factor that causes me to stay put.
https://www.best-place-to-retire.com/places-to-retire-quiz


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## Floridatennisplayer (Feb 8, 2020)

This is only a question you can answer not us


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## RadishRose (Feb 8, 2020)

Aintgettinanyyounger said:


> I don’t want to sit around waiting for them to pay attention to me.


Then go and pay attention to them.  
Best of luck whatever you decide.


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## retiredtraveler (Feb 8, 2020)

Floridatennisplayer said:


> This is only a question you can answer not us


Yeah. We all have different experiences, perspectives, health, finances. Just too many variables to give anything other than our opinion, based on what works, or doesn't, for us.


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