# Loneliness - let's talk about it?



## sharonboomer (Aug 24, 2021)

Hi Everyone, 
I am Sharon, nice to meet everyone! 
With covid still around and still not the safest (my opinion) to meet to many people in social gatherings, I miss talking to people my age (not kids or grandkids - people who are close to my age and know or relate to what we all are going through).  What do you guys and gals do to cope with this ? (or is it just me or misses good old fashioned conversations with a small group)


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## hollydolly (Aug 24, 2021)

Hi Sharon... you'll find plenty to converse about here if you come and join us...


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## Pecos (Aug 24, 2021)

sharonboomer said:


> Hi Everyone,
> I am Sharon, nice to meet everyone!
> With covid still around and still not the safest (my opinion) to meet to many people in social gatherings, I miss talking to people my age (not kids or grandkids - people who are close to my age and know or relate to what we all are going through).  What do you guys and gals do to cope with this ? (or is it just me or misses good old fashioned conversations with a small group)


Nope, you are not alone in feeling this way at all. Now on the plus side, you have landed at the right place here on SF.
Enjoy yourself.


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## RadishRose (Aug 24, 2021)

Hi Sharon


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## sharonboomer (Aug 24, 2021)

hollydolly said:


> Hi Sharon... you'll find plenty to converse about here if you come and join us...


Thank you Holly!


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## sharonboomer (Aug 24, 2021)

Pecos said:


> Nope, you are not alone in feeling this way at all. Now on the plus side, you have landed at the right place here on SF.
> Enjoy yourself.


Thank you Pecos! I do miss talking to people (in real talking not just over messages)


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## sharonboomer (Aug 24, 2021)

RadishRose said:


> Hi Sharon
> View attachment 180234


Thank you! lovely picture


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## AprilSun (Aug 24, 2021)

No Sharon, you're not alone. What I do is, I get online and come here, I watch something funny on TV and sometimes I will call my friends who have told me to call and we talk. I don't do all of this everyday but just on my lonely days and it helps. I also take walks and they help also.


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## SmoothSeas (Aug 24, 2021)

welcome aboard from rural Kentucky...


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## helenbacque (Aug 24, 2021)

Welcome, sharonboomer.  You've come to a good place to spend some unoccupied hours.  There is almost always someone around.

I won't be much help though because being alone does not bother me.  In fact, I thrive on it.   Since long before virus concerns, I've been my own best friend and always have something to occupy my time and my mind, even if its just a new book to read.  I've been told that its unhealthy to be a hermit but I've been that way for decades and am now too old to change.  I don't know if it is a blessing or a curse but it has been convenient because social isolation was already a way of life.

I hope the friendly folks here help to fill some of your empty hours.  Jump right in but steer clear of the prickly bits unless prickly is your thing.  There are several ongoing dramas and you can catch up - if you like - by reading old posts.  Enjoy!


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## Pinky (Aug 24, 2021)

Welcome from Toronto, Sharon! I think you may find a lot of interesting topics to join in on. The best thing about the forum, is it is international, which brings a lot of different opinions.


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## katlupe (Aug 24, 2021)

Welcome Sharon!

I live in an apartment building so even though our community room and activities were shut down we still saw each other pretty often. 

As for being lonely, I am not ever lonely. I have my computer and that enables me to connect to many others, such as right here on this forum.


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## mrstime (Aug 24, 2021)

My aunt lived in California all her life, when the pandemic hit she spent months alone going out just for groceries. She would tell me she was so lonely, she had been very social all her life. Her son in Texas, her daughter in South Carolina, she bought a house in SC and made plans to move. Sold her house in Seal Beach for a very nice sum (figures it will keep her for the rest of her life). She moved there and could see her family and very promptly got Covid 19. Thankfully she survived it and is so much happier with family nearby. I think loneliness might have killed her .


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## JustBonee (Aug 24, 2021)

Hi  @sharonboomer,   and welcome to SF.

My answer to loneliness .... daily walks!  .. always my  mood enhancer  ... Can't help but be in  good spirits after getting out in the fresh air everyday,  even in hot weather.   Plenty of people doing the same around my area -  and so   never a shortage of people  to visit with ....

While  inside,  I enjoy  TV,  on the  'light'  side mostly,   and then of course  Internet boards  and  games.


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## funsearcher! (Aug 24, 2021)

Two friends to call on a weekly basis--we talk about anything and everything.  Just started volunteering and have met some folks there and visited the whole time.


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## Chris P Bacon (Aug 24, 2021)

Have you thought about volunteering for something? Food pantries usually need people as do churches. I used to go to a church, once a week and help them assemble the Sunday programs that they’d pass out to folks as they enter on Sundays. If there’s an area Office on Aging for where you live, you might call and ask them for suggestions as well. Between running around my area, with and without friends, I manage to find people to talk with. I just smile and say hello then leave the rest up to fate. I haven’t made any real friendships, so to speak but I’ve had plenty of conversations.


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## MarciKS (Aug 24, 2021)

sharonboomer said:


> Hi Everyone,
> I am Sharon, nice to meet everyone!
> With covid still around and still not the safest (my opinion) to meet to many people in social gatherings, I miss talking to people my age (not kids or grandkids - people who are close to my age and know or relate to what we all are going through).  What do you guys and gals do to cope with this ? (or is it just me or misses good old fashioned conversations with a small group)


I think many of us are struggling. We are social beings by nature. In the past year though, I've come to rely on other things to escape the chaos and the loneliness. I've been going it alone for almost 2 yrs now aside from a few internet friends. I have no desire for a real time social life or being in the physical company of others. I am managing better than I expected. Doesn't mean I don't have bad days but I'd rather have a good cry and hug a stuffed animal than go to a restaurant to talk to a friend. It's not worth the risk. Several times a week the mortuary comes to pick up a body wrapped in blue paper bedding with blue tape mummifying it for the ride to the morgue. No bag nothing. I would rather stay home and keep myself entertained than end up being the one in that taped up paper sheet. I don't think people take this virus seriously enough. But when it's in the hall staring you in the face while you're just on your way to pee...it's a very sobering reality.


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## Alizerine (Aug 24, 2021)

This subject has been on my mind a lot lately. Not just for me but for others. I try to reach out even when it feels awkward. People are understanding and usually welcome the attempt. We have rediscovered the bag lunch. A few of us meet in a park or parking lot or sometimes a porch or driveway. Don't expect perfect and it can be pretty good.


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## Ladybj (Aug 24, 2021)

Hi Sharon..
WELCOME ABOARD!!!!  You are not alone.. there are others that feel the same as you.  I am married and don't feel alone.  I also have a daughter that visits once in a while and friends I chat with once in a while.  I also enjoy conversations with people in this forum.  Some of the topics can get a bit heated but I don't take it personal.  Everyone has a right to their opinion.  This is a GREAT group.


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## Packerjohn (Aug 24, 2021)

My wonderful wife passed away last September.  It was pretty lonely where I live with all the senior centers and all the libraires shut down.  So now I am traveling in British Columbia.  I just go up to people and talk to them.  Met many interesting Canadians and Americans traveling in this country.  Rest areas are great places to start a bit of conversation.  People who travel are almost very interesting people, I find.  The worse thing to do is sit on your "butt" and watch TV all day.


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## jerry old (Aug 25, 2021)

The Purity of Cold Soup​

​How many cans of soup​can be eaten alone​before the soup turns mean?​

How much cream

can be lapped alone,

before the mew becomes a keen?



A house with many rooms

offers only drafts and cold,

when living alone.



Sleep is a form of vanishing-

wrapped in white linen,

imprisoned in the purity of alone?



What happens to the sleeping voyager?

When dreams run dry,

from the lack of know?



How many days

must you live alone,

before you disappear?


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## Linda (Aug 25, 2021)

Welcome Sharon from Southern California.  I hope you join us here.  I'm not lonely but I always have room in my life for another friend!


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## RobinWren (Aug 26, 2021)

Packerjohn said:


> My wonderful wife passed away last September.  It was pretty lonely where I live with all the senior centers and all the libraires shut down.  So now I am traveling in British Columbia.  I just go up to people and talk to them.  Met many interesting Canadians and Americans traveling in this country.  Rest areas are great places to start a bit of conversation.  People who travel are almost very interesting people, I find.  The worse thing to do is sit on your "butt" and watch TV all day.


I say hello to everyone I meet regardless of the response but I find since covid so many people are more wary, they might look but do not open their mouths, or else they look away. Whatever we have to live our lives the best way we can.


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## RobinWren (Aug 26, 2021)

and lucky you to be travelling in beautiful British Columbia there is so much to see and do in this province. Enjoy your travels.


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## Ruth n Jersey (Aug 26, 2021)

Hello and welcome from New Jersey. I have never been a very social person and have so many projects to work on I'm never lonely.
The only time I feel sad or a bit lonely is when I think of my family who are no longer here especially around the holidays.


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## Packerjohn (Aug 26, 2021)

RobinWren said:


> and lucky you to be travelling in beautiful British Columbia there is so much to see and do in this province. Enjoy your travels.


Thanks, it is really a huge province.  I entered last week from Nugget City in the Yukon and traveled down the long, rather lonely Cassiar Highway,  Today it took me all day to go from Williams Lake to Kamloops but then I never left Williams Lake until 11:30 am.  The speed of the traffic is really crazy but then I'm 75 so I guess my age is showing.


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## RobinWren (Aug 27, 2021)

Slow down and enjoy the ride, have fun on the rest of your journey.


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## OneEyedDiva (Aug 28, 2021)

Sharon, even though I've always valued my alone time, I feel lonely sometimes. I do get to talk with my neighbor (in person) whenever I'm sitting on my patio and he's coming out the door next to it. He's more elevated on the stoop and we are socially distanced. I've found that since COVID I'm talking more often with my BFF, my sister and a couple of friends. The year before COVID, I started attending a senior center twice a week. All of my "new"friends from there and I really miss going. In lieu of face to face conversation, I hope you'll be able to connect with friends your age by phone and find some degree of satisfaction in that. In the meantime, there are so many interesting "conversations" going on here that it does take up a lot of time and occupy the mind keeping up with all of them, some funny, some serious and some cute. I hope you enjoy SF as much as I do. From New Jersey.....


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## moviequeen1 (Aug 28, 2021)

Hi Sharon,welcome to SF where you'll meet members from around the world
I have no immediate family that lives near me,my older sister lives in England,my younger brother is in Conn.We do 'family zoom meetings every other Sun I have a group of close friends I see on regular basis mostly when I'm out walking
I live in an apt complex, every day when I go on my daily walks{2-3 times} I see my neighbors/other residents.Sometimes in the afternoon{weather permitting} I'll go sit in our community garden area reading my book or talking with them. I volunteer once/wk at org where I'm also a member,doing filing other office work.I continue to wear a mask whenever I go into stores,at my church 
I like my alone time,I can always find things to occupy the day especially if I can't go outside due to weather reading,doing games on my smartphone Sue


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## Sylkkiss (Aug 28, 2021)

Hello Sharonboomer, I haven't been here long but its been fun and a place to fill the time.
 My hubby of more than 40 years died August 2, 2019, He was buried 8/26/2019 in a military ceremony in a veterans memorial cemetery. He was my friend, my muse, my trouble, my pain in the neck, my love, my fun, my road trip partner, my music man, my mister fix it, my hero. He haunts my dreams every night. I tire of him popping up in my subconscious. I ache with memories, if I'm not reading, or watching TV. If I stop filling my head with other things, he haunts my thoughts.  I'm so tired of him. LOL. And sometimes I'm so lonely I just weep. 

It doesn't help that for forty years I never went on a trip without him. (I did twice on a train. Terrified.) I had no friends that came to visit. I went to work and home. We went out rarely but we took road trips from one coast to the other every year.

Yes. I'm lonely. And some days I just want to hear a voice near me. I want to look into anothers eyes. I want to hear them laugh. I'm an introvert and I watch others talk and have fun and I enjoy watching but sometimes I wish someone would call me 'cause they thought of me. But no ever calls or emails unless I send one first. And often they don't reply.
So. Yeah. That's enough of that. Sorry to sob all over the forum.


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## MarciKS (Aug 28, 2021)

Sylkkiss said:


> Hello Sharonboomer, I haven't been here long but its been fun and a place to fill the time.
> My hubby of more than 40 years died August 2, 2019, He was buried 8/26/2019 in a military ceremony in a veterans memorial cemetery. He was my friend, my muse, my trouble, my pain in the neck, my love, my fun, my road trip partner, my music man, my mister fix it, my hero. He haunts my dreams every night. I tire of him popping up in my subconscious. I ache with memories, if I'm not reading, or watching TV. If I stop filling my head with other things, he haunts my thoughts.  I'm so tired of him. LOL. And sometimes I'm so lonely I just weep.
> 
> It doesn't help that for forty years I never went on a trip without him. (I did twice on a train. Terrified.) I had no friends that came to visit. I went to work and home. We went out rarely but we took road trips from one coast to the other every year.
> ...


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## cdestroyer (Aug 28, 2021)

Over the years I have watched as family members passed, one by one. I never married. I had a cat. It wasnt supposed to be MY cat but I ended up with him. He was a most bodacious thing, smart, fun. He was a male snowshoe siamese. He was 15 1/2 and has been gone now 5 1/2 years. If I think about him to long it breaks me up. I miss him dearly. I live alone. I know very few people here where I grew up. I was gone a long time. Military took a lot, then jobs here and there. And now I am here. And I believe this is where I belong.


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## Forerunner (Aug 28, 2021)

I live with my adult son, but due to health issues, am basically a shut-in. I got ill and divorced. Friends wandered away years ago.
I had Kitty but then she died. Then I had Little Kitty but then she died. Then there was Kitty-Cat, but we had to put her down earlier this year. I've had enough cats. If my spine deteriorates much more, I'll be in a wheelchair. My faith is my lifeboat. This group helps.


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## officerripley (Aug 28, 2021)

cdestroyer said:


> Over the years I have watched as family members passed, one by one. I never married. I had a cat. It wasnt supposed to be MY cat but I ended up with him. He was a most bodacious thing, smart, fun. He was a male snowshoe siamese. He was 15 1/2 and has been gone now 5 1/2 years. If I think about him to long it breaks me up. I miss him dearly. I live alone. I know very few people here where I grew up. I was gone a long time. Military took a lot, then jobs here and there. And now I am here. And I believe this is where I belong.


CD, is it possible for you to have another cat? You seem like a fantastic pet owner whom any cat would be lucky to live with.


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## senior chef (Aug 30, 2021)

Yes, loneliness is a problem.  I do miss certain things like going to special places together over a long weekend. The thing I miss the most is cuddling while watching a movie after dinner. And cuddling in bed. Not for sex, mind you. Just for the sake of cuddling. 
However, there are many positives of living alone. The number one positive thing is not having to listen to nagging or having to always explain what took me so long while shopping.
In balance, I'd say I'm better off living alone.


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## sharonboomer (Aug 30, 2021)

Thank you everyone for the wonderful words, feedback and suggestions, really warms my heart!


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## Mr. Ed (Aug 30, 2021)

Lonely? Let's talk about it.
Do I need to lay on the couch for this session?


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## Bellbird (Aug 30, 2021)

'The worse thing to do is sit on your "butt" and watch TV all day.'
So true.


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## Packerjohn (Aug 30, 2021)

Canadian singer and song writer, Paul Anka had this song about loneliness way back in the 1950s.

I'm just a lonely boy, lonely and blue
I'm all alone with nothin' to do
I've got everything you could think of
But all I want is someone to love

Someone, yes, someone to love
Someone to kiss, someone to hold at a moment like this
I'd like to hear somebody say
I'll give you my love each night and day


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## Lawrence00 (Sep 18, 2021)

I embrace the thought that I have never been alone. I share kinship with the trees, the air, the water, and the shadows. And God. Now this may sound all airy fairy, but it is real. I have several times in life, because of carnal or other cravings, ended up entwined in relationships that were simply bad ideas. Walk, breathe, notice the flowers, and the way the morning sun creates glittery diamonds upon the lake. That is my plan. I hope that you find some earthly delights, with which to fill your mind. This is a magical place.


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