# How many "loves" have there been in your life?



## C50 (Sep 19, 2022)

The question is in regards to relationships, not family or close friends (or pets!)

My answer is three.  In my nearly 62 years of life I have truly felt love for three.

No point to the question other than curiosity.


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## Pappy (Sep 19, 2022)

Just one and she’s sitting right beside me and has been for 66 years..


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## Bella (Sep 19, 2022)

There are only two, my college boyfriend and my husband.


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## Giantsfan1954 (Sep 19, 2022)

Just my one and only husband.Still miss him a lot!


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## horseless carriage (Sep 19, 2022)

Pappy said:


> Just one and she’s sitting right beside me and has been for 66 years..


The way to go Pappy. I was 18 and in need of a new dance partner, a 14 year old beauty stepped forward. We have been dancing to the tune of love ever since.


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## Jace (Sep 19, 2022)

Giantsfan1954 said:


> Just my one and only husband.


Me,too!


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## Lawrence (Sep 19, 2022)

I have had many loves in my life, especially during the time I was in the Navy. We would sail to port, heave our way in then set our anchors fast. Put our pirate clothes on then go into town and pay for cold beer to drink and later pay for some loving's also.


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## TeaBiscuit (Sep 19, 2022)

My enduring loves have been my children and my pets. I have yet to meet a man that I'd truly want around 24/7. Maybe he doesn't exist, or he's just taking his sweet time showing up. Luckily, I am happy on my own.


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## deaver (Sep 19, 2022)

three. the first was my teenage crush, she was a beauty saddly the feeling was not mutual so I tattooed her name on my arm. the second and third were much later after I had grown a tad, unfortunetly not enough. these last two could not keep their undergarments up more than a month. I on the other hand kept mine up whilst overseas and had a girl back home to come back to otherwise all was up for grabs.


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## hollydolly (Sep 19, 2022)

Loads.....


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## SeniorBen (Sep 19, 2022)

I've had three. I'm not very good at relationships.


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## Pinky (Sep 19, 2022)

3


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## Timewise 60+ (Sep 19, 2022)

I think some are not distinguishing between love and lust!  

For me I had many young ladies that I lusted after, and at the time I thought I loved most of them.   In College, I met a young auburn-haired angle, we fell in love and were married.  That was over 53 years ago...and I still love and lust after her.....

Probably more than you wanted to know...SMILE!


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## Kika (Sep 19, 2022)

Three...they all died.  I will not subject anyone else to me!


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## Alligatorob (Sep 19, 2022)

An awkward and a bit difficult question to answer.  

Kind of depends on how  you define it, many shades of gray (not about the movie!).  I am tempted to just say enough, but not dead yet so I am not sure that will always be true...


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## Alligatorob (Sep 19, 2022)

Timewise 60+ said:


> I think some are not distinguishing between love and lust!


Not always easy to do...


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## Timewise 60+ (Sep 19, 2022)

Alligatorob said:


> Not always easy to do...


Unless you meet one with BOTH!


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## squatting dog (Sep 19, 2022)

One


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## PamfromTx (Sep 19, 2022)

3


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## RadishRose (Sep 19, 2022)

Almost 3 but really, just one.


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## jet (Sep 19, 2022)

to many


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## Mitch86 (Sep 19, 2022)

I have had only one, my wife of 61 years.


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## Shalimar (Sep 19, 2022)

*Three, the first two were rivers, but, oh, my blue eyed man is the sea! J’t’aime, beaucoup, mon  fiancé *


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## jujube (Sep 19, 2022)

If I could decide if it was love or infatuation, I could answer that.  I *thought* at the time it was love......


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## hollydolly (Sep 19, 2022)

In reality... altho' I had many boyfriends, and 2 husbands  ..I only felt  love for one man...


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## Teacher Terry (Sep 20, 2022)

_My high school boyfriend and 3 husbands. _


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## Lavinia (Sep 20, 2022)

TeaBiscuit said:


> My enduring loves have been my children and my pets. I have yet to meet a man that I'd truly want around 24/7. Maybe he doesn't exist, or he's just taking his sweet time showing up. Luckily, I am happy on my own.


I'm so glad I'm not the only one who can say this.


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## Murrmurr (Sep 20, 2022)

I dearly loved with my first wife. Unfortunately, she wasn't ready for marriage and motherhood, and I was too dumb to recognize that some serious problems were developing. We married too young, and divorced 4 years later.

I adore my current wife. But we've only been married a year, so there were numerous ladies between that divorce and this marriage. 3 of them really broke my heart...so I'll say I've had 5 loves in my life.


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## dseag2 (Sep 20, 2022)

I have had 3 true loves in my life.  


My High School girlfriend of 3 years.   We were very much in love and still keep in touch.
My partner of 6 years.  We met in 1982 and split up in 1988, but we still remained friends.  He passed away a few years ago due to complications related to AIDs.  He was such a wonderful person, but we were just too young to make the relationship work.  
My current hubby of over 30 years.   I can't even express how much I love him.


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## Tish (Sep 20, 2022)

Three this way.


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## Mitch86 (Sep 20, 2022)

Here are all the products of my ONE wife of 61 years and myself:



http://imgur.com/FZpPEzA


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## katlupe (Sep 20, 2022)

I don't know. I have had 3 husbands. I have had relationships through out my life. But can't say whether any of those were true love. I am presently in a relationship and love my bf and have a better relationship with him than any others. I know he loves me more than anyone else ever did. Had to wait till this age to find him though.


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## C50 (Sep 20, 2022)

My first was at the end of high-school, we dated three years.  Second was at 26, we were married twenty years.  Third was a few years post divorce,  I had to break up with her though because love isn't always enough to sustain a healthy relationship.

I guess my three always made me feel like I came up a bit short, but now I see three is a typical number.  I will admit to being envious of those of you that married your first love and are still together, that's an accomplishment to cherish.


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## timoc (Sep 20, 2022)

How many "loves" have there been in your life?​I haven't got enough fingers on my hands to work it out..... I'm joking of course, but for some reason, ladies cross over to the opposite side of the road when they see me.


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## Chet (Sep 20, 2022)

When you get old you reminisce about the past including old flames, and there is one who keeps popping up in my head all the time. What I remember most is that we liked some of the same things and she was easy to get along with. It is fair to say that she was a friend and a good companion and not just a girl friend if that makes sense. I wasn't ready to get serious at that time in my life then, so she got tired of waiting and ended it.


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## jimintoronto (Sep 20, 2022)

TeaBiscuit said:


> My enduring loves have been my children and my pets. I have yet to meet a man that I'd truly want around 24/7. Maybe he doesn't exist, or he's just taking his sweet time showing up. Luckily, I am happy on my own.


So where did the children come from ? The cabbage patch ?  JimB.


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## Medusa (Sep 20, 2022)

That's a little difficult for me because I am polyamorous.  I love my husband.  I love my boyfriends, who are both long distance, but my love for my husband is a far deeper, pure, enduring thing.  It is the beginning and the end.

I do love my boyfriends, but in a different way; they are precious to me, but not lifemates. And it is the same for them; one is married and his wife is for him as my husband is to me and we both understand and respect that. The other is not married, but I am aware he may some day meet someone in person he will then want to spend his life with.

So, if I count my boyfriends and the one love before my husband, it's five.

LOL! Those numbers don't add up do they? I _can _actually count... just neglected to mention somebody.  Sheesh.  LOL


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## fuzzybuddy (Sep 21, 2022)

Of course, this depends on your definition of "loves". I have three that I always think of. Love at 17 is a lot different from love at 71. That's true for all stages of life.


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## Been There (Sep 23, 2022)

I haven’t yet been married, but have had 3 loves in my life, only one moved to the point of being serious, but she died.


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## Seren (Sep 23, 2022)

@Mitch86 that is one beautiful family! 

Only 1 and he's fast asleep right now. Married just over 25 years, consider ourselves a team and always have each other's back. Love the bones of him.


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## Right Now (Sep 23, 2022)

This isn't an easy question for me to answer.  True "loves" are enduring, feelings never dissolve or lessen with time.
I count three, and not all three were men I married.  Lots of lustful adventures between marriages, but I knew they would not be the love of my life.


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## OneEyedDiva (Sep 23, 2022)

Four times. And ironically, I realized I really didn't love my son's father, my first husband.  My first love was when I was 15. We went to the same high school.


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## Gardenlover (Sep 23, 2022)

I've lost count, as I love the one I'm with.


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## Been There (Sep 24, 2022)

OneEyedDiva said:


> Four times. And ironically, I realized I really didn't love my son's father, my first husband.  My first love was when I was 15. We went to the same high school.


First loves will generally stick in a person’s heart forever. My first real love was also a classmate in high school. We dated and “went together” for 4 years. When I went to the Academy, she didn’t want to wait until after graduation because I still had to serve another 5 years on active duty. When she learned about all of this, she decided not to wait so long to start a family, so I decided to make the military a career, which I was leaning towards doing regardless.


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## JustDave (Sep 24, 2022)

I had 5 or 6 most while in my 20s, but it might be relevant to now pose the age old question, "Just what is love, anyway?"  I have puzzled over that for too many years, as I've heard people say, "Yeah, but that wasn't real love," or "That's only an infatuation," or "That was just sex," which made me feel like I was not knowledgeable enough to know what real love is, so I finally settled on it being no more than that "heady gone ga-ga soaring heart can't wait to see her again" feeling, without any caveats or special qualifications one needs to wisely choose a partner.

For me, love can just be just bonkers and even foolish without any intellectualizing.  You know it when you see it, and there is nothing better or more energizing on a purely emotional scale.  The odd part is that I didn't embrace that definition, until I was nearing my golden years, and the so called "age of wisdom," when we are supposed to be more thoughtful and cautious.

I guess I gave up trying to define love in some Spockian sense.  For me it's an emotion, and emotions are not logical, and loving someone for all the wrong reasons is still love.  But I'm thinking I may be all alone in this perception.


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## Paco Dennis (Sep 24, 2022)

It is complicated. I have loved many girls and teenagers and 1 wife then some 30 year olds, then a second wife, and few more 30 year olds, and then Misa, for 36 years now. So here is my song , like Willie, giving a song of love and warmth to all ...  ( probably over 3/4's have been platonic )


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## Nathan (Sep 24, 2022)

> How many "loves" have there been in your life?


So, in my mind there is a distinction between "lovers" and longer term love relationships.    Talking about adult love relationships- I'd have to say eight.  A couple after I got out of the Army, before I got married the first time. Then a couple during a period of time between marriages.   My marriage now is the closest relationship I've had, emotionally we connect well.


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## JustDave (Sep 24, 2022)

I recall one of my earliest memories from over 70 years ago, and I've thought about this experience many times over the years.  I may have been 3 years old or so, and I was playing on the living room floor, while my mother was ironing clothes.  My mother was explaining something to me.  I can't remember what it was, other than it was something that was important to me, and something that I was happy to know about.  I was too young to know what love was, but I was overcome with a good feeling that was entirely new. I was so happy to have a mother that was so good to me.  That may have been my first experience with love, at least the first I can remember.  Of course, I wasn't thinking how much I loved her, I wasn't mentally mature enough to identify what I was feeling.  I was just experiencing something that was incredible.


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## Trish (Sep 24, 2022)

On a scale of 1-10; Several 5's & 6's, a couple of 7's & 8's, one almost a 9 but only one 10


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## DaveA (Sep 24, 2022)

Just one.  Met her on a blind date in 1953 while I was in the service.  We were married 2-1/2 years later in '56 and by the grace of God we've lived relatively long lives and are still side by side at 88 and 86.


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## Frank Smith (Sep 25, 2022)

2 loves


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## Serenity4321 (Sep 25, 2022)

Medusa said:


> That's a little difficult for me because I am polyamorous.  I love my husband.  I love my boyfriends, who are both long distance, but my love for my husband is a far deeper, pure, enduring thing.  It is the beginning and the end.
> 
> I do love my boyfriends, but in a different way; they are precious to me, but not lifemates. And it is the same for them; one is married and his wife is for him as my husband is to me and we both understand and respect that. The other is not married, but I am aware he may some day meet someone in person he will then want to spend his life with.
> 
> ...


I just recently became acquainted with polyamory...One of my best friends shared her experiences. I find it fascinating. There was a time I would have judged but fortunately, those days are way behind me. What I can't understand is why there is no jealousy..maybe that is just me and my insecurities? 
I had 4 very meaningful loves in my life plus some crushes...and I think I would have been jealous if they were polyamorous. Especially if sex was involved. Yet, I can see the benefits and good for you and I am happy you can make it work! All the best!


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## DebraMae (Sep 25, 2022)

In retrospect I would have to say two, although there were others that I thought I was in love with.  There are two that I still think about and wish things might have been different.


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## mrstime (Sep 25, 2022)

I had crushes on dozens of boys, but love only once and we are still together after 65 years.


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## Gaer (Sep 25, 2022)

4 and 1/2


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## Trish (Sep 25, 2022)

Gaer said:


> 4 and 1/2


@Gaer - I am so intrigued about the 1/2 - was he really short?


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## Gaer (Sep 25, 2022)

Trish said:


> @Gaer - I am so intrigued about the 1/2 - was he really short?


yes, short, ugly, mean. cruel.  I fell in love with a fake image he portrayed.


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## JustDave (Sep 25, 2022)

Trish said:


> I am so intrigued about the 1/2 - was he really short?


Me too.  This mystery deserves it's own thread.


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## Trish (Sep 25, 2022)

Gaer said:


> yes, short, ugly, mean. cruel.  I fell in love with a fake image he portrayed.


You are very generous awarding him a half.


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## Gary O' (Sep 25, 2022)

How many "loves" have there been in your life?​
Several lusts

some fantasy 




Some real

Some a version of true love



One love
She's put up with me for 53 years


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## Lewkat (Sep 25, 2022)

3.


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## Mitch86 (Sep 25, 2022)

DaveA said:


> Just one.  Met her on a blind date in 1953 while I was in the service.  We were married 2-1/2 years later in '66 and by the grace of God we've lived relatively long lives and are still side by side at 88 and 86.


I was married in 1960 and am still married to the same woman in 2022.  I'm 87 and she is 83.


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## Pappy (Sep 25, 2022)

Got married in 1956. I’m 84 and my wife is 82. It will be 65 years in December.


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## DaveA (Sep 25, 2022)

Mitch86 said:


> I was married in 1960 and am still married to the same woman in 2022.  I'm 87 and she is 83.


Sounds like we're walking along the same path, Mitch.  A good chunk of my family {son, grandkids and great grands) happen to live in Conn..


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## RandomName (Sep 30, 2022)

OK. Defining love as being heartbroken when it is over. 

 Two in college. Lost my virginity with Joanne when she was drunk. She dumped me three weeks later because she said her other boyfriend was more compatible s*xually. I was crushed for a year. But hey, I lost my virginity ! 

The other one in college was Karen. We met each other's s*xual desires very well, but I was often sad for no reason when making the long winter trek to her farmhouse. She dumped me in a feminist rage sometime right after we graduated. I was heartbroken.

Post college :  My wife. Loved her, but she divorced me. Heartbroken and lots of anger. Huge disaster. 

My girl fiend I met after my divorce: She was so nice to me. She was mental is some ways, but I did love her. Very sad when she died.  We 'clicked'. It was love at first sight, sort of. 

No loves since my girl friend died.  So, a total of four loves.

Looking for my next love currently.  Waiting for the next 'click' to happen. Probably will have to go through lots of dating to find her.


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## Mitch86 (Sep 30, 2022)

Instead of looking for great sex with a wife, look for a steady companion and a good friend.  As we age the ability to have sex disappears anyway.  I value my wife for being my best friend and we are always helping each other.  We are married 62 years but sex disappeared after 30 years.  We do have 2 kids, six grandkids, and many great grandkids.  Other than my daughter, we rarely ever see the others.


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## JustDave (Oct 2, 2022)

RandomName said:


> OK. Defining love as being heartbroken when it is over.
> 
> Two in college. Lost my virginity with Joanne when she was drunk. She dumped me three weeks later because she said her other boyfriend was more compatible s*xually. I was crushed for a year. But hey, I lost my virginity !
> 
> ...


There must be a lesson in that very candid response.  I'm not sure what it is, but thought provoking none the less.


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## Bretrick (Oct 2, 2022)

Only the one. Thirty Three years ago it ended.
Lasted for three years and the breakup was heart rending for me.
I have never allowed myself to love again.


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## C50 (Oct 2, 2022)

Bretrick said:


> Only the one. Thirty Three years ago it ended.
> Lasted for three years and the breakup was heart rending for me.
> I have never allowed myself to love again.



That's heart breaking to read, but I get it.  Those we love the most have the power to cause us the greatest hurt.


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## LadyEmeraude (Oct 5, 2022)

I have had three true loves in my lifetime. One is passed, and still friends with the other two, we live now
in different countries though.


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## Ruthanne (Oct 5, 2022)

I lost count.....


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## RandomName (Oct 11, 2022)

JustDave said:


> There must be a lesson in that very candid response.  I'm not sure what it is, but thought provoking none the less.



Thanks, Dave.

I think the lesson for me is that no matter how much we try, we can't make love a 'just play fair and no one gets hurt' affair.


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## ManjaroKDE (Oct 11, 2022)

Real or imagined?

My parents sold a little fruit during the 50's, 'Pick your own'.  Met & played with one little blond haired girl while she waited.   She left my life, never to return.  She was my 'benchmark' love from then on.  There may have been 5-6 mostly one-sided since.  

As for imagined - many, many.  The breaker was Reba McIntire until the wife pointed out she didn't have an upper lip.   Too heart broken to dream of more.


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## JustDave (Oct 11, 2022)

RandomName said:


> Thanks, Dave.
> 
> I think the lesson for me is that no matter how much we try, we can't make love a 'just play fair and no one gets hurt.


I think we learn from each experience like yours, although when I asked a close friend after a particularly horrible divorce what he learned, he smiled rather broadly and replied, "I didn't learn anything as far as I can tell."


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## Aunt Mavis (Oct 11, 2022)

Too many to list.  Freddy, Freddy the 2nd, Froggy, Froggy the 2nd, Ferdinand….


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## C50 (Oct 11, 2022)

I wish I could fall in love again, but...I seem to enjoy the peace and quiet of my life too much to take any chances.


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## dobielvr (Oct 11, 2022)

I'm only remembering 2.  Crazy love.

Both deceased now.


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## fuzzybuddy (Oct 14, 2022)

Gaer said:


> 4 and 1/2


Alright, Gaer, who is the "1/2"?  A short guy?


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## fuzzybuddy (Oct 14, 2022)

I've been thinking about this thread. Previously I said 3 But now, I'm going to say 1-it was the first. I did love the other 2, but there was an intensity with #1., because it was new, and exciting.


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## charry (Oct 14, 2022)

It all depends what you mean , by love ?…or lust 
only 2 loves…….hubby and mum …..


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## Gaer (Oct 14, 2022)

fuzzybuddy said:


> Alright, Gaer, who is the "1/2"?  A short guy?


Post #57.


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## fuzzybuddy (Oct 14, 2022)

Thanks, Gaer, I had no idea posts were numbered. I guess we all had a 1/2.


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## JustDave (Oct 14, 2022)

charry said:


> It all depends what you mean , by love ?


This of course is the question.


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## Mr. Ed (Oct 21, 2022)

I had a lot of relationships some romantic some not


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## charry (Oct 22, 2022)

Only 1…..my lovely man


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## IKE (Oct 22, 2022)

Just two.......my ex and my current.


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## PamfromTx (Oct 22, 2022)

PamfromTx said:


> Greg, the one I never dated.  Joel, the one that broke my heart in many tiny pieces.   And finally, my true love ~ hubby who is my everything.


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## Lawrence00 (Oct 22, 2022)

Zero. Just fooled by predators.


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