# Making New Friends When Single and Alone



## Ruthanne (May 6, 2021)

This thread is for anyone to comment on but is about those who are single and alone making new friends.

So, I am attempting now to make some new friends again.  At least I keep trying and haven't given up although I did give it a break and gave up for awhile.

I now have a garage parking space so I can go out here at any hour I want and still get a space to park.  I'm thinking of going out to a nice restaurant that has outdoor dining and see if there are any others there alone, too.  I think I need to try some new strategies while I'm still alive and kickin'.   I have been fully vaccinated so I'm not afraid much to be around others in public except for large groups or crowds and I think that's a healthy fear.

I have put another ad on a website to try and meet someone and I'm very smart about it and don't give out my personal information right away until I can trust that the person responding is who they say they are.  I'm not naïve and would not fall for someone who is trying to scam and I know all the signs to look for.

And also if anyone likes they can start a conversation with me here if they'd like to chat about things instead of posting in this thread.

Everyone's feedback is valuable in my book!


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## dawnkitty (May 6, 2021)

good luck Im in the same boat, and about all I have accomplished is recognizing in an instant who the scammers are.


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## Keesha (May 6, 2021)

Well I personally think you are very smart and brave to put yourself out there , especially with how things have changed so much. It’s good that you’ve recognized that you’d prefer to be with someone and that if you put this off any longer, you might never do it.

I honestly wish you much success and will put positive thoughts your way concerning this. You can do this Ruthanne plus you are a very nice person and completely worthy of a loving, committed relationship.


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## Keesha (May 6, 2021)

dawnkitty said:


> good luck Im in the same boat, and about all I have accomplished is recognizing in an instant who the scammers are.


I wish you all the best also. I hope your percentage of scammers shift to your benefit.


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## Ruthanne (May 6, 2021)

dawnkitty said:


> good luck Im in the same boat, and about all I have accomplished is recognizing in an instant who the scammers are.


Well, I think that's a good start to be able to recognize the scammers as I was once fooled by one but don't think I could be fooled again after that.


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## Murrmurr (May 6, 2021)

Keesha said:


> Well I personally think you are very smart and brave to put yourself out there , especially with how things have changed so much. It’s good that you’ve recognized that you’d prefer to be with someone and that if you put this off any longer, you might never do it.
> 
> I honestly wish you much success and will put positive thoughts your way concerning this. You can do this Ruthanne plus you are a very nice person and completely worthy of a loving, committed relationship.


Well said, Keesha.


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## Ruthanne (May 6, 2021)

Keesha said:


> Well I personally think you are very smart and brave to put yourself out there , especially with how things have changed so much. It’s good that you’ve recognized that you’d prefer to be with someone and that if you put this off any longer, you might never do it.
> 
> I honestly wish you much success and will put positive thoughts your way concerning this. You can do this Ruthanne plus you are a very nice person and completely worthy of a loving, committed relationship.




Thanks on the compliments.  Yes, at times I'd prefer to be with someone but also value my alone time.   I was planning on trying to make a new friend/friends again and not only for a committed relationship but it would just be nice to have someone to do things with again--it's been a long time since I've done that.  You seem to have a good insight about if I put this off I might never do it.  

Thanks for your message Keesha.


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## RadishRose (May 6, 2021)

I hope you will succeed, Ruthanne. I know you want to share you life with someone. Best wishes for you.


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## Ruthanne (May 6, 2021)

RadishRose said:


> I hope you will succeed, Ruthanne. I know you want to share you life with someone. Best wishes for you.


Thank you and yes, that would be very nice.


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## Gaer (May 6, 2021)

I sure hope you find LOVE, Ruthanne!  
I think you will!
I personally have become sort of a hermit this past year!
Men come up to me and"flirt", and the moment I smile or say anything to them, they freeze up and mention they have a wife.  hahaha!  
Why do they do that?  Do they want something "on the side?"  The left side or the right side?

I'll probably always be alone, and that's fine!  I like me!  
It sounds like you're in a populated area, so there must be a lot of activities going on.  It'll happen!  You sound like a really neat lady!


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## Ruthanne (May 6, 2021)

Gaer said:


> I sure hope you find LOVE, Ruthanne!
> I think you will!
> I personally have become sort of a hermit this past year!
> Men come up to me and"flirt", and the moment I smile or say anything to them, they freeze up and mention they have a wife.  hahaha!
> ...


Thank you for your message.  I, too, have become a hermit and for longer  much longer than a year.  

I don't know if the married ones are looking for something on the side.  Your guess is as good as mine.  lol.  you are so funny!

I have to say that I really do value my alone time, too, but also hope to get some company and do some fun things once again.


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## CinnamonSugar (May 6, 2021)

Let us know what works, @Ruthanne ...  this introvert needs help in this area!  lol


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## SetWave (May 6, 2021)

Yes, all the luck to you that cupid might supply. I'm glad you are going about things with your eyes open. Might I suggest taking things very slowly and rather than trying to meet someone to just be available and let things take their course. Just be very careful, please.


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## MickaC (May 6, 2021)

This is a well thought out thread, Ruthanne......Thank you.
I guess my story is in a different stage than yours.
After my divorce 5 years ago......i had "0" intentions for looking for a partner.
At that time i enrolled on to a friendship site, they had a dating section, but.....didn't use it.
Got to know a gentleman, we had great conversations, and seemed to have a lot in common.
We continued on for quite some time.
His family back in Holland were in need of him for help and support......was gone for just over a year, arrived back in Canada just before the pandemic hit......didn't have a lot of contact during that time.
As the time he returned.....we continued with our relationship.
And we are now here.....planning for our future together.
He came out of retirement, and went back to trucking.......with Covid restrictions.......truckers are essential.......able to enter borders.
He lives on Prince Edward Island.......will list his house for sale and move here.

@Ruthanne  I so hope i'm not hijacking your thread......is it for all to share their experience.


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## MickaC (May 6, 2021)

@Ruthanne   Good luck and best wishes to you......i hope you find who you're looking for and be happy with.


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## Murrmurr (May 6, 2021)

Gaer said:


> I sure hope you find LOVE, Ruthanne!
> I think you will!
> I personally have become sort of a hermit this past year!
> *Men come up to me and"flirt", and the moment I smile or say anything to them, they freeze up and mention they have a wife.  hahaha!
> ...


I wish I could tell you what's up with that, but I have no idea. Seriously, that's odd.


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## Old Dummy (May 6, 2021)

I have a bit of a different problem, Ruthanne. I’m 70, live in a rural area, and am looking for new lunch buddies. One is 80, another is 86, they’re both still getting around but who knows for how long?

I know a lot of people in the area, but none that would fall into the daily lunch buddy category very well. I’ve known these guys for 20-30 years.

Life doesn’t get any easier.


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## Ruthanne (May 6, 2021)

Old Dummy said:


> I have a bit of a different problem, Ruthanne. I’m 70, live in a rural area, and am looking for new lunch buddies. One is 80, another is 86, they’re both still getting around but who knows for how long?
> 
> I know a lot of people in the area, but none that would fall into the daily lunch buddy category very well. I’ve known these guys for 20-30 years.
> 
> Life doesn’t get any easier.


I wish you well in your quest OD.  No, you are right that life doesn't get any easier.  Where will you be looking for new lunch buddies?


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## Old Dummy (May 6, 2021)

Ruthanne said:


> I wish you well in your quest OD.  No, you are right that life doesn't get any easier.  Where will you be looking for new lunch buddies?



Heh, I have no idea. I may move to Florida, but that’s kind of a pipe dream at this point.


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## Ruthanne (May 6, 2021)

Old Dummy said:


> Heh, I have no idea. I may move to Florida, but that’s kind of a pipe dream at this point.


Well, a dream is a beginning anyway.


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## boliverchadsworth (May 7, 2021)

Ruthanne said:


> This thread is for anyone to comment on but is about those who are single and alone making new friends.
> 
> So, I am attempting now to make some new friends again.  At least I keep trying and haven't given up although I did give it a break and gave up for awhile.
> 
> ...


for the most part all scammers I insist on webcam skype or similar immedialty never never never any follow through--what does that tell YOU? i know what it tells me......best place for us -tho does not work well for me...american legion eagles club  retiree unions social clubs language groups gyms libraries none of these work for me but would maybe for you...what works for me grocery store, walmart ...other seniors need to get out and about take crap jobs at walmart etc....walking, but I am very reluctant to get tied up with anyone-

 once in while find a guy but most are married -happily or not ..I don't want to hear it........women my age no interest in my wants and needs and visa versa..

yet I persist.....thanks kids ...therapy for me...hahha


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## PamfromTx (May 7, 2021)

Don’t be afraid of moving forward but always be cautious.  The future is bright.  Good luck and tons of best wishes.  God bless you in whatever you do. This is my heartiest wish just for you.


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## Ruthanne (May 10, 2021)

PamfromTx said:


> Don’t be afraid of moving forward but always be cautious.  The future is bright.  Good luck and tons of best wishes.  God bless you in whatever you do. This is my heartiest wish just for you.


I always am cautious, and very smart.  I don't let anyone take advantage of me.  Thank you for your message.


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## RobinWren (May 21, 2021)

When I read the first message I was under the impression that you were looking to make new female friends, what does that say about me? After reading through the thread I went back and read it again and read the part about putting an ad online. If you are looking for a partner and it is meant to be then it will happen. I hope that you find what you are looking for. It is a challenge for us all who are single to navigate the landscape these days, not to say that it can be a challenge for couples also. Good luck.


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## DeAnn (May 21, 2021)

I'm in a similar place as many of the folks on this site.  In the last decade I've lost virtually all my immediate family (including parents, spouse, children) and currently live alone apart from 2 dogs.  Am also retired. 4 years ago, after hubby's death, I moved to another state to be near the only family I have left.  That consists of a few cousins.  We were never close growing up and aren't close now, although we see each other occasionally.  They all have their own lives, with spouses, grown children, daughters and sons-in-law, and new babies coming along.   I am never included in their activities.  They just don't think of me when making plans, and I can understand that.

Consequently I am utterly alone.  I'm introverted, and do "hermit" very well, but it gets old and covid has exacerbated the problem.  

So, I've got to find friends, people to chat with, to go to lunch with, to do some fun activities with, etc.  This forum looked like a good place to reach out to people.  So here I am.  Saying hello.


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## RadishRose (May 21, 2021)

Hi DeAnn


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## Pecos (May 21, 2021)

DeAnn said:


> I'm in a similar place as many of the folks on this site.  In the last decade I've lost virtually all my immediate family (including parents, spouse, children) and currently live alone apart from 2 dogs.  Am also retired. 4 years ago, after hubby's death, I moved to another state to be near the only family I have left.  That consists of a few cousins.  We were never close growing up and aren't close now, although we see each other occasionally.  They all have their own lives, with spouses, grown children, daughters and sons-in-law, and new babies coming along.   I am never included in their activities.  They just don't think of me when making plans, and I can understand that.
> 
> Consequently I am utterly alone.  I'm introverted, and do "hermit" very well, but it gets old and covid has exacerbated the problem.
> 
> So, I've got to find friends, people to chat with, to go to lunch with, to do some fun activities with, etc.  This forum looked like a good place to reach out to people.  So here I am.  Saying hello.


Welcome aboard. There is a good mix of nice people here.


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## Aunt Marg (May 21, 2021)

DeAnn said:


> I'm in a similar place as many of the folks on this site.  In the last decade I've lost virtually all my immediate family (including parents, spouse, children) and currently live alone apart from 2 dogs.  Am also retired. 4 years ago, after hubby's death, I moved to another state to be near the only family I have left.  That consists of a few cousins.  We were never close growing up and aren't close now, although we see each other occasionally.  They all have their own lives, with spouses, grown children, daughters and sons-in-law, and new babies coming along.   I am never included in their activities.  They just don't think of me when making plans, and I can understand that.
> 
> Consequently I am utterly alone.  I'm introverted, and do "hermit" very well, but it gets old and covid has exacerbated the problem.
> 
> So, I've got to find friends, people to chat with, to go to lunch with, to do some fun activities with, etc.  This forum looked like a good place to reach out to people.  So here I am.  Saying hello.


Extending a warm welcome to you, DeAnn.


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## Old Dummy (May 21, 2021)

DeAnn said:


> I'm in a similar place as many of the folks on this site.  In the last decade I've lost virtually all my immediate family (including parents, spouse, children) and currently live alone apart from 2 dogs.  Am also retired. 4 years ago, after hubby's death, I moved to another state to be near the only family I have left.  That consists of a few cousins.  We were never close growing up and aren't close now, although we see each other occasionally.  They all have their own lives, with spouses, grown children, daughters and sons-in-law, and new babies coming along.   I am never included in their activities.  They just don't think of me when making plans, and I can understand that.
> 
> Consequently I am utterly alone.  I'm introverted, and do "hermit" very well, but it gets old and covid has exacerbated the problem.
> 
> So, I've got to find friends, people to chat with, to go to lunch with, to do some fun activities with, etc.  This forum looked like a good place to reach out to people.  So here I am.  Saying hello.



Welcome from another traditional introvert.


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## Ruthanne (May 21, 2021)

Welcome from a nutcase


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## ohioboy (May 21, 2021)

Ruthanne said:


> Welcome from a nutcase


They don't come any nuttier, nyuk, nyuk.


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## RadishRose (May 22, 2021)

@DeAnn I went to your Facebook page that you put on your profile. Some wonderul art! You're quite talented.


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## Serenity4321 (May 22, 2021)

Ruthanne said:


> This thread is for anyone to comment on but is about those who are single and alone making new friends.
> 
> So, I am attempting now to make some new friends again.  At least I keep trying and haven't given up although I did give it a break and gave up for awhile.
> 
> ...


I am trying to figure this out..are you looking for both male companionship and female friends? From the post I gather you want both?
Of course, meeting females just might help with the search for men friends too.  

I am kind of in the position of looking for friends...I do great on my own, but I like being around and talking with/to people. My husband and I moved from California to Florida a few years ago to be near my daughter. Then my hubby's health deteriorated and he died...then Covid... so I never met very many people here. 
I wish you all the best in your search..Interesting idea to dine alone...I had never thought of that but maybe others have? Good that you to remember to be cautious..there are a lot of kooks out there!!


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## Serenity4321 (May 22, 2021)

MickaC said:


> This is a well thought out thread, Ruthanne......Thank you.
> I guess my story is in a different stage than yours.
> After my divorce 5 years ago......i had "0" intentions for looking for a partner.
> At that time i enrolled on to a friendship site, they had a dating section, but.....didn't use it.
> ...



Congrats and best wished for the future...one never knows what the 'universe' will bring...we just need to be open to possibilities I guess.

I like the idea of a _friendship site_..is it kind of like this forum or it specifically geared for those 'looking for friends' ???
I would join that


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## DeAnn (May 22, 2021)

RadishRose said:


> @DeAnn I went to your Facebook page that you put on your profile. Some wonderul art! You're quite talented.


Thank you, Rose. Making art keeps me off the street.


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## MickaC (May 22, 2021)

Serenity4321 said:


> Congrats and best wished for the future...one never knows what the 'universe' will bring...we just need to be open to possibilities I guess.
> 
> I like the idea of a _friendship site_..is it kind of like this forum or it specifically geared for those 'looking for friends' ???
> I would join that.


Thank you, Serenity, for your wishes, very much appreciated.
I Love this site, SF, because it's a great place to be, no pressure, learn a lot, caring, support and friendship.
I guess if two people meet here.... and want to expand on their friendship.....they're free to do so, away from here, happy for anyone that finds happiness.
The site i was on, and met my Love.......i guess part of it was for looking for that special someone.....never explored that.
BUT
Had a lot of great conversations with female and male, with nothing other than friendship.
We had taken our growing relationship to another place for extended communication.
Not in my wildest dreams, had i thought that something like this would happen to my life.....i wasn't looking before him.....and if he hadn't appeared.....i still would have not looked, he felt the same.

Serenity.....this is, IMO, the best place for friendship.


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## Jules (May 22, 2021)

RadishRose said:


> @DeAnn I went to your Facebook page that you put on your profile. Some wonderul art! You're quite talented.


@DeAnn   I went there too.  You are very talented.  Also, welcome.


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## MickaC (May 22, 2021)

@DeAnn    Nice to meet you. great place to spend time with nice people. ENJOY.


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## DeAnn (May 22, 2021)

Jules said:


> @DeAnn   I went there too.  You are very talented.  Also, welcome.


Thank you. Very kind of you


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## DeAnn (May 22, 2021)

MickaC said:


> View attachment 166227 @DeAnn    Nice to meet you. great place to spend time with nice people. ENJOY.


Thank you.


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## TabbyAnn (May 27, 2021)

DeAnn said:


> I'm in a similar place as many of the folks on this site.  In the last decade I've lost virtually all my immediate family (including parents, spouse, children) and currently live alone apart from 2 dogs.  Am also retired. 4 years ago, after hubby's death, I moved to another state to be near the only family I have left.  That consists of a few cousins.  We were never close growing up and aren't close now, although we see each other occasionally.  They all have their own lives, with spouses, grown children, daughters and sons-in-law, and new babies coming along.   I am never included in their activities.  They just don't think of me when making plans, and I can understand that.
> 
> Consequently I am utterly alone.  I'm introverted, and do "hermit" very well, but it gets old and covid has exacerbated the problem.
> 
> "So, I've got to find friends, people to chat with, to go to lunch with, to do some fun activities with, etc."  This forum looked like a good place to reach out to people.  So here I am.  Saying hello.


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## TabbyAnn (May 27, 2021)

There are many of us in similar situations of needing to make new in-person friends who live in our area and need ideas on specific ways to do this, preferably from those who have successfully done it. Living in a senior complex would seem to be a better opportunity than living alone in a house, but I can see the problems posted here by those who live in senior apartment complexes and have unwanted intrusions on their time. Many of us have also tried the Internet dating sites with unpleasant results. The only organizations I've found that advertise senior social groups where casual contacts may be made are the larger progressive churches.  I had every intention of exploring this before the pandemic hit, and now I'm reluctant to make the effort. I think the year of isolation made it hard to switch gears and try to be social again.


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## officerripley (May 28, 2021)

TabbyAnn said:


> There are many of us in similar situations of needing to make new in-person friends who live in our area and need ideas on specific ways to do this, preferably from those who have successfully done it. Living in a senior complex would seem to be a better opportunity than living alone in a house, but I can see the problems posted here by _*those who live in senior apartment complexes and have unwanted intrusions on their time*_. Many of us have also tried the Internet dating sites with unpleasant results. The only organizations I've found that advertise senior social groups where casual contacts may be made are the larger progressive churches.  I had every intention of exploring this before the pandemic hit, and now I'm reluctant to make the effort. I think the year of isolation made it hard to switch gears and try to be social again.


I've heard that from a lot of people, there are too many unwanted intrusions on their time in the seniors-only complexes. What might help, if possible, is moving to an apartment not for seniors but just for 18 and over. I've talked to people who've lived in such places who've said it was like there was nobody else living there 40+ hours a week since most of the other residents were at work. Something to look into if that's what you're looking for.


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## TabbyAnn (May 29, 2021)

CinnamonSugar said:


> Let us know what works, @Ruthanne ... this introvert needs help in this area! lol


Yes. While general good wishes and general positive platitudes are nice, I think many of use would enjoy some specific  information about specific places and specific actions that have actually worked for the person discussing it.


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## CindyLouWho (May 29, 2021)

TabbyAnn said:


> Yes. While general good wishes and general positive platitudes are nice, I think many of use would enjoy some specific  information about specific places and specific actions that have actually worked for the person discussing it.


Very well said, TabbyAnn. 
I wholeheartedly agree.


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## Bellesfleurs (Jun 4, 2021)

I seriously need to make a few friends myself. I have ONE, and my only living relative (son and his wife) are 11 hours drive away, tho I do talk to him every day, thankfully.

I don't think I even know how to make friends any more. I think the best for me would be to go to places - meetings or get togethers - that center around my interests, but I'm still leery of the pandemic issues and haven't found any anyway. My county used to have senior services and had various functions for seniors, but I think all that was abandoned. I'll have to check. 

Sigh. I do pretty well as a loner, but not interminably, ya know?


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## Ruthanne (Jun 4, 2021)

Bellesfleurs said:


> I seriously need to make a few friends myself. I have ONE, and my only living relative (son and his wife) are 11 hours drive away, tho I do talk to him every day, thankfully.
> 
> I don't think I even know how to make friends any more. I think the best for me would be to go to places - meetings or get togethers - that center around my interests, but I'm still leery of the pandemic issues and haven't found any anyway. My county used to have senior services and had various functions for seniors, but I think all that was abandoned. I'll have to check.
> 
> Sigh. I do pretty well as a loner, but not interminably, ya know?


Hi.  I, too, have one offline friend and he is on oxygen and has many illnesses and now his memory is getting very bad--I'd be afraid to ask him over for fear he'd get in an accident coming this far--he lives about 25 mi. away.  That's cool you talk to someone every day.  

About making new friends--I think just be yourself, and you seem like a nice friendly person.  I, too, am still leery with the pandemic--I think so many are.  I was just thinking how this pandemic has caused us all to be so fearful--I know I am very, at least.  This forum is a nice place to interact with others too.  I come here to have some social interaction with the friendly members.  

So you are a loner?  I have been for so long I forgot I could be anything else.


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## Bellesfleurs (Jun 4, 2021)

Ruthanne said:


> Hi.  I, too, have one offline friend and he is on oxygen and has many illnesses and now his memory is getting very bad--I'd be afraid to ask him over for fear he'd get in an accident coming this far--he lives about 25 mi. away.  That's cool you talk to someone every day.
> 
> About making new friends--I think just be yourself, and you seem like a nice friendly person.  I, too, am still leery with the pandemic--I think so many are.  I was just thinking how this pandemic has caused us all to be so fearful--I know I am very, at least.  This forum is a nice place to interact with others too.  I come here to have some social interaction with the friendly members.
> 
> So you are a loner?  I have been for so long I forgot I could be anything else.


Oh, thank you. I am a nice friendly person (except of course when I'm not - LOL). I'm a little shy though. 

And yes, I'm quite grateful my son checks in on me daily. Sometimes we talk for a while, sometimes just barely touch base. Fortunately, we have a number of things in common to discuss, and seem to have found ways to squelch some of the flare-ups we used to endure even as recently as a couple of years ago. I'll probably get to see him and my lovely DIL the 2nd weekend in July - not firmed up yet, but I'm excited. 

Sorry your friend would have a difficult time visiting. Have you asked him about it? Could you visit him? Truly 25 miles isn't that far, depending on the terrain (all highway, or all city?). Just a thought.

Thanks so much for your response, Ruthanne. I appreciate it very much.


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## Ruthanne (Jun 4, 2021)

Bellesfleurs said:


> Oh, thank you. I am a nice friendly person (except of course when I'm not - LOL). I'm a little shy though.
> 
> And yes, I'm quite grateful my son checks in on me daily. Sometimes we talk for a while, sometimes just barely touch base. Fortunately, we have a number of things in common to discuss, and seem to have found ways to squelch some of the flare-ups we used to endure even as recently as a couple of years ago. I'll probably get to see him and my lovely DIL the 2nd weekend in July - not firmed up yet, but I'm excited.
> 
> ...


I may ask my friend about it and see how his memory is doing now.  I have a real beater car and don't feel safe traveling that far as I mainly stay in my city or very nearby-within 15 mi.

That's nice your son and you have lots in common and enjoy talking to each other.  I wish I had someone to talk to on the phone every day.  My family and I are not real close.  

I hope you enjoy chatting on this site as much as I have come to!


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## Ruthanne (Jun 4, 2021)

Ruthanne said:


> Hi.  I, too, have one offline friend and he is on oxygen and has many illnesses and now his memory is getting very bad--I'd be afraid to ask him over for fear he'd get in an accident coming this far--he lives about 25 mi. away.  That's cool you talk to someone every day.
> 
> About making new friends--I think just be yourself, and you seem like a nice friendly person.  I, too, am still leery with the pandemic--I think so many are.  I was just thinking how this pandemic has caused us all to be so fearful--I know I am very, at least.  This forum is a nice place to interact with others too.  I come here to have some social interaction with the friendly members.
> 
> So you are a loner?  I have been for so long I forgot I could be anything else.


IMO there is nothing sad about being a loner.


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## Jennina (Jun 29, 2021)

You sound like a really cool lady Ruthanne. And street smart, too.  

Keep us posted on your adventures and misadventures. We can turn this into The Bachelorette senior online  edition.    We will vote on who's the best bachelor for you.  Just kidding.  But I'm actually excited for you.

Anyway,  here's the best dating advice I've heard:  If you're looking for a serious relationship,  don't emotionally invest in a guy based on how much you like him but on how much he emotionally invests in you.  So, if he's not committing, keep on dating. Good luck!


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## Frogfur (Jul 1, 2021)

Ruthanne said:


> This thread is for anyone to comment on but is about those who are single and alone making new friends.
> 
> So, I am attempting now to make some new friends again.  At least I keep trying and haven't given up although I did give it a break and gave up for awhile.
> 
> ...


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## Frogfur (Jul 1, 2021)

Ruthanne said:


> This thread is for anyone to comment on but is about those who are single and alone making new friends.
> 
> So, I am attempting now to make some new friends again.  At least I keep trying and haven't given up although I did give it a break and gave up for awhile.
> 
> ...


I'm new here but i hear you. I'm 70 almost 71. Former Marine Corps. My wife passed away seven years ago. Lucky me, I've got kids and grand kids in the area i live in, but there is a void. I feel sometimes like a companion to do things with would be lovely, but it seems that many folks are afraid of one another to a degree. I don't blame them. But not eveyone is out to use or abuse me either. I'm not stupid, but i can understand their concerns. Especially if they are women.
Hopefully you'll find someone to eat out, go to a movie,with or just have coffee a walk and good night.
I just bought a nice home here in Western Colorado and its not like I don't have things to do. But, adults conversation would be nice sometimes.
I hope you find what you're looking for. Take care.


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## Kadee (Jul 1, 2021)

I spent 11 years on my own  between 1975 - 1986 with young children  I was not interested in in meeting anyone till my youngest was about 11 - 12  I was far to busy raising the children to bother with anyone I can tell you there was sleaze bags out there then and always will be.
Ive been remarried since 1987 so if I was left on my own I honestly couldn’t be bothered with anyone else ,Living  under the same roof.

I ( we) know more than 1/2 dozen “couples“ through our hobby of ballroom dancing who go out dancing/ general social venues / holidays together but still live in their own homes which are mostly Independent living units in retirement villages.
IMO they have the best of both worlds have a companion and their own space.

I have a question for those who are alone is there social activities you could attend like a senior activity centre ? Our dancing is held at a senior centre where there is lots of actives or volunteering at such centres .
I honestly feel for anyone who’s been totally isolated for months due to COVID


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## Packerjohn (Jul 2, 2021)

There are good men out there but the trick is to find them.  Use common sense, don't rush, don't appear desperate and use what is called a "gut" feeling.  Watch out for red flags (asking about money, wanting to sleep with you on the 1st date and just talking about how wonderful he is the whole evening without asking about you) and you'll be OK!  Best of luck.


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## Jules (Jul 2, 2021)

Frogfur said:


> adults conversation would be nice sometimes


I think this is what I’d miss most.


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## Sally N (Jul 4, 2021)

Ruthanne said:


> This thread is for anyone to comment on but is about those who are single and alone making new friends.
> 
> So, I am attempting now to make some new friends again.  At least I keep trying and haven't given up although I did give it a break and gave up for awhile.
> 
> ...


I, too, want to make some friends! I live in a small town that's fairly clubby and inbred. I travel for my living and so after moving here, I wasn't around enough to make friends. I'm backing my business down and have more time at home and would love to meet people. Thinking of joining a senior center...I just don't really know how to begin... I'm in southeast Wisconsin.


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## Sally N (Jul 4, 2021)

Old Dummy said:


> I have a bit of a different problem, Ruthanne. I’m 70, live in a rural area, and am looking for new lunch buddies. One is 80, another is 86, they’re both still getting around but who knows for how long?
> 
> I know a lot of people in the area, but none that would fall into the daily lunch buddy category very well. I’ve known these guys for 20-30 years.
> 
> Life doesn’t get any easier.


Where are you located? I would love a lunch buddy!


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## Cameron (Jul 4, 2021)

Retired to the country side near two small villages not knowing anybody.   Having worked here and there many of  my friends are scattered globally so keeping in touch is by email.    I find walking the border collie puppy gets me out and chatting with people on our walks. once he is older (and covid behind us) may look at volunteering , a bridge group etc.  Personally i find it easy for myself to read and do chores on the acerage and not interact too much so for the puppy has been a blessing


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## Old Dummy (Jul 4, 2021)

Sally N said:


> Where are you located? I would love a lunch buddy!



Ha, well sure, but if you aren't local then I don't think doing lunches would be too practical. The closest town to me is Honeoye, NY, south of Rochester.


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## Morningglory (Jul 5, 2021)

DeAnn said:


> I'm in a similar place as many of the folks on this site.  In the last decade I've lost virtually all my immediate family (including parents, spouse, children) and currently live alone apart from 2 dogs.  Am also retired. 4 years ago, after hubby's death, I moved to another state to be near the only family I have left.  That consists of a few cousins.  We were never close growing up and aren't close now, although we see each other occasionally.  They all have their own lives, with spouses, grown children, daughters and sons-in-law, and new babies coming along.   I am never included in their activities.  They just don't think of me when making plans, and I can understand that.
> 
> Consequently I am utterly alone.  I'm introverted, and do "hermit" very well, but it gets old and covid has exacerbated the problem.
> 
> So, I've got to find friends, people to chat with, to go to lunch with, to do some fun activities with, etc.  This forum looked like a good place to reach out to people.  So here I am.  Saying hello.


Hello DeAnn, How are you? sounds like a lot of us is in the same boat


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## Morningglory (Jul 5, 2021)

DeAnn said:


> I'm in a similar place as many of the folks on this site.  In the last decade I've lost virtually all my immediate family (including parents, spouse, children) and currently live alone apart from 2 dogs.  Am also retired. 4 years ago, after hubby's death, I moved to another state to be near the only family I have left.  That consists of a few cousins.  We were never close growing up and aren't close now, although we see each other occasionally.  They all have their own lives, with spouses, grown children, daughters and sons-in-law, and new babies coming along.   I am never included in their activities.  They just don't think of me when making plans, and I can understand that.
> 
> Consequently I am utterly alone.  I'm introverted, and do "hermit" very well, but it gets old and covid has exacerbated the problem.
> 
> So, I've got to find friends, people to chat with, to go to lunch with, to do some fun activities with, etc.  This forum looked like a good place to reach out to people.  So here I am.  Saying hello.


Hello DeAnn, this is a good place to find new friends.


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## Time Waits 4 No Man (Jul 10, 2021)

Morningglory said:


> Hello DeAnn, this is a good place to find new friends.


I read an article about a year or two ago that said loneliness hits men harder than women once they're in their senior years. Without breaking down the article's reasoning, suffice to say I agreed with them. Now, the Internet is fine for conversation of this nature, with people who (like me) remain anonymous and faceless. But it's no replacement for real human interaction. As such, I belong to a number of forums, but this is the only senior forum I belong to. It has a nice functionality, and is easy to use. So that's a plus.


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## Old Dummy (Jul 10, 2021)

Time Waits 4 No Man said:


> I read an article about a year or two ago that said loneliness hits men harder than women once they're in their senior years. Without breaking down the article's reasoning, suffice to say I agreed with them. Now, the Internet is fine for conversation of this nature, with people who (like me) remain anonymous and faceless. But it's no replacement for real human interaction. As such, I belong to a number of forums, but this is the only senior forum I belong to. It has a nice functionality, and is easy to use. So that's a plus.



Agree. I've lived alone since 2006, have been online since 1994, and would go insane without the internet. But it's not a replacement for real life.

I have lunch with a couple I know every Saturday. Been doing this for 2 or so years. But this weekend they were at a family function out of town, so no lunch today. It feels weird. I didn't even bother going anyway today.


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## Cameron (Jul 10, 2021)

Having the adult conversation as someone mentioned above is quite rewarding when alone.  having lunch or dinner periodically with friends as Old Dummy above said is great. Sometimes I just don't need the constant interaction but I sure do need once in a while a chat with someone.  For me its for not being lonely but dealing with the feeling once in a while of just chatting with someone and for a while at least, being part of something human beyond myself.   A lot of social interaction while working but for me I was quite glad to leave that behind when i left the office.  Retirement one seems not to have that human interaction sculpted into the day as it was when working.   However as the Stones said, "
… You can't always get what you want 
You can't always get what you want 
But if you try sometimes you just might find 
You get what you need…"


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## Old Dummy (Jul 10, 2021)

Cameron said:


> Having the adult conversation as someone mentioned above is quite rewarding when alone.  having lunch or dinner periodically with friends as Old Dummy above said is great. Sometimes I just don't need the constant interaction but I sure do need once in a while a chat with someone.  For me its for not being lonely but dealing with the feeling once in a while of just chatting with someone and for a while at least, being part of something human beyond myself.   A lot of social interaction while working but for me I was quite glad to leave that behind when i left the office.  Retirement one seems not to have that human interaction sculpted into the day as it was when working.   However as the Stones said, "
> … You can't always get what you want
> You can't always get what you want
> But if you try sometimes you just might find
> You get what you need…"



I've worked at home since 1985 (recently retired). I've also lived alone for the majority of those years. One I could deal with, two was too much. It's how I got into the habit of going out to lunch every day, just to interact with other humans. One guy I met at lunch in 1990 I still see nearly every day, he is now 86.

I missed the joking around with other guys at the small tool shops I worked at before being self-employed. We introverts love human interaction, but just in the right circumstances and with the right people.


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## Pecos (Jul 10, 2021)

I am lucky enough to have a breakfast group that meets once a week. It is delightful to have real face-to-face conversations. There are only five of us now, and two of them are in their late eighties with declining health. I will pick them up on my way because they do not drive anymore. I am actively looking for new like minded fellows to join us, and it is proving a bit more difficult than I expected. We are all getting older.

I initially found this group one morning years ago when I walked into a restaurant by myself and spotted a group of older men eating together. I suppose that I am not the bashful sort because I just walked over and asked if I could join them. That was 13 years ago.

You just never know when or where you are going to find friends.

Once every six months, we have an evening event and the wives join us. That is a lot of fun.


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## Old Dummy (Jul 10, 2021)

Pecos said:


> I am lucky enough to have a breakfast group that meets once a week. It is delightful to have real face-to-face conversations. There are only five of us now, and two of them are in their late eighties with declining health. I will pick them up on my way because they do not drive anymore. I am actively looking for new like minded fellows to join us, and it is proving a bit more difficult than I expected. We are all getting older.
> 
> I initially found this group one morning years ago when I walked into a restaurant by myself and spotted a group of older men eating together. I suppose that I am not the bashful sort because I just walked over and asked if I could join them. That was 13 years ago.
> 
> ...



The nearest town to me (hamlet, actually) is Honeoye, NY, with a population under 600. I live on a dirt road five miles away. I've been here 40 years and know most of the people around here to varying degrees.

The place definitely needs some kind of senior center; just a place to sit, drink coffee, and get a sandwich or burger and gossip. My diner friends and I have been talking about it for years, but there's probably not a large enough population in the area to get it done even with government help. 

The one existing diner was the most poorly-run place you can imagine, and has been an even bigger disaster since covid. None of us even go in there anymore, we are now making 30-40 mile daily round-trips to other towns for lunch.

One of my sisses lives in a less rural area and she's told me that they have a really great senior center.


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## HarryHawk (Jul 10, 2021)

I'm not looking, but I find I meet people when I volunteer to do work at a charity, take a class at the community college, do something at the community senior center, etc.  As with alot of things, sometimes it is easier to find what you are looking for when you aren't actively looking for it.

Most importantly, have fun.


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## Jules (Jul 10, 2021)

HarryHawk said:


> take a class at the community college,


The benefit of taking a class is that usually no one knows anyone else.  You are all interacting with strangers so you don’t have to break into a clique.


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## Robert59 (Jul 11, 2021)

Now I'm in this boat Iiving alone because girlfriend is moving in with her sister in another state. I've lived alone for over ten years before finding girlfriend. All my family have died here in my state. I have only family in other states. I can't leave my state because I need medical eye shots in my eyes every month or I would go blind doctor has told me.


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## Chris21E (Jul 11, 2021)

Robert59 said:


> Now I'm in this boat Iiving alone because girlfriend is moving in with her sister in another state. I've lived alone for over ten years before finding girlfriend. All my family have died here my state. I have only family in other states. I can't leave my state because I need medical eye shots in my eyes every month or I would go blind doctor has told me.


I started to have the eye shots done and felt it was too much for me and stopped. ....
 Finding others to share is hard. I join here because I lost a friend and the senior center was closed and still is.

My energy is not as robust, and today the heat 105F makes that worse...
Good luck with your eye treatment


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## Morningglory (Oct 6, 2021)

DeAnn said:


> I'm in a similar place as many of the folks on this site.  In the last decade I've lost virtually all my immediate family (including parents, spouse, children) and currently live alone apart from 2 dogs.  Am also retired. 4 years ago, after hubby's death, I moved to another state to be near the only family I have left.  That consists of a few cousins.  We were never close growing up Ed and aren't close now, although we see each other occasionally.  They all have their own lives, with spouses, grown children, daughters and sons-in-law, and new babies coming along.   I am never included in their activities.  They just don't think of me when making plans, and I can understand that.
> 
> Consequently I am utterly alone.  I'm introverted, and do "hermit" very well, but it gets old and covid has exacerbated the problem.
> 
> So, I've got to find friends, people to chat with, to go to lunch with, to do some fun activities with, etc.  This forum looked like a good place to reach out to people.  So here I am.  Saying hello.


Hello DeAnn , I wanted to cry reading your post, reminds me of me, feel like I'm completely alone in this world, I'm here if you want to chat anytime!


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## Sunshine on a cloudy day (Oct 9, 2021)

DeAnn said:


> I'm in a similar place as many of the folks on this site.  In the last decade I've lost virtually all my immediate family (including parents, spouse, children) and currently live alone apart from 2 dogs.  Am also retired. 4 years ago, after hubby's death, I moved to another state to be near the only family I have left.  That consists of a few cousins.  We were never close growing up and aren't close now, although we see each other occasionally.  They all have their own lives, with spouses, grown children, daughters and sons-in-law, and new babies coming along.   I am never included in their activities.  They just don't think of me when making plans, and I can understand that.
> 
> Consequently I am utterly alone.  I'm introverted, and do "hermit" very well, but it gets old and covid has exacerbated the problem.
> 
> So, I've got to find friends, people to chat with, to go to lunch with, to do some fun activities with, etc.  This forum looked like a good place to reach out to people.  So here I am.  Saying hello.


I find life a series of ups and downs. I am currently in a down due to circumstances beyond my control.  Sounds like you are as well. Wishing you success.things will change.


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## Tom 86 (Oct 9, 2021)

From a man's perspective, that lost his wife 6 years ago to cancer.  I go to Senior centers or church bazaars & play bing & do things there.  I have met some very nice women that are like me that just need some company.  We can sit & talk for hrs.

  I got to be very careful as some are looking for a sugar daddy.   I've gone to some restaurants & there were several women my age sitting alone.  As I go by I ask them if they would like some company?  Some say NO, others say yes. So we sit & talk about different things.  They always say this has made their day talking with someone in the same boat.  Sometimes we meet there again the following week. 

  I do NOT use dating services anymore online or local.  Those are only looking for sugar daddies.

  Good luck & I wish you well.  I know what it's like to be alone.


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## boliverchadsworth (Oct 10, 2021)

I say count your blessings- most certanly could be much worse


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## Ronni (Oct 11, 2021)

@Ruthanne you started this thread a few months ago but haven’t posted to it in a while.

Wondering how things are going? Have you made any progress in finding some new friends?


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## boliverchadsworth (Oct 13, 2021)

not really looking very poor market for me ...complicated by covid ...online no good...I don't like to type.....do teach english to a few spanish speakers online so that gives me some contact...zoom etc. thnx


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## boliverchadsworth (Oct 13, 2021)

boliverchadsworth said:


> not really looking very poor market for me ...complicated by covid ...online no good...I don't like to type.....do teach english to a few spanish speakers online so that gives me some contact...zoom etc. thnx


ooops sorry I guess that was not for me ...apologies pls.


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## FrancesAnn (Nov 22, 2021)

I am not sure where in the US you live, but sometimes geography makes it harder to connect with folks for friendship and more. Up here in the Northeast, folks tend to be standoffish and difficult to connect with. Especially in the smaller towns, meeting new people can be frustrating. I live alone and wish I had friends and people I could rely on for friendship. I am still working so it is hard to find time to connect. 

Lately, I joined a fitness center inside a 55+ community. The facility allows people in the area to join as members. I go for the pool and hot tub. It's not been quite a month into membership and I find women quite a bit friendlier than usual. They smile at you and look at you as if open to conversation. I wonder if it's a different atmosphere living in an otherwise closed community. Do you knit? There's a knitting circle or two around here and that's a place to socialize? I've tried local book clubs but I found they tend to be social circles and not readers. 

I go for the book discussion and maybe social interaction, but found most folks rarely finished the book and could not hold an actual discussion. I wish I could find a circle of older women who own their own home and be connected with them. A lot of my time goes into my house which I enjoy, but I wish I could discuss everything from décor to toilet repair with other women.


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## Morningglory (Nov 25, 2021)

Hi FrancesAnn, looking for friends also I have 1 real nice friend she's 94 and I'm afraid I'll lose her anytime but like as many as I can get


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## WheatenLover (Nov 26, 2021)

FrancesAnn said:


> I wish I could find a circle of older women who own their own home and be connected with them. A lot of my time goes into my house which I enjoy, but I wish I could discuss everything from décor to toilet repair with other women.


Maybe you could start a meetup group. They usually clearly define the type of people they want to attract (like writers, knitters, etc.). I don't even know if that's still a thing, but you could google it.


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## fuzzybuddy (Nov 27, 2021)

I haven't mastered the making new friends thing. I'm disabled, and live alone, so I have to independent, if I don't want to land back in the home, again. The thing is where do you meet people? And now, with Covid., it's worse.


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## Flaneuse (Nov 27, 2021)

I wasn't sure if the origial post was about making new friends or finding a romantic relationship.  But as to friends - A little over a year ago, I was walking through a nearby neighborhood and noticed a political sign that conflicted with every other political sign on the street but was consistent with my own views.  I told the guy who was working in the front of his garage that I liked his sign and we chatted for a few minutes.  

Then he brought his wife out and they both mentioned that she regularly zoomed with a group of women who were similarly aligned politically.  I was invited to join that zoom group of amazingly intelligent women and until we were all vaccinated, we met for two hours online every Saturday.  We now meet in person every Saturday and I love our wide ranging conversations, which go from current events to family issues to whatever anyone wants to discuss.  

I'm normally not an outgoing person but this one interaction while I was out on a walk taught me the value of saying hi to the people I pass on the street, assuming the situation seems safe and reasonable.  And even though I'm not outgoing, I'm a "joiner" and everywhere I've moved, I've joined local groups  - cycling, pickleball, political, business, hiking, whatever - and have managed to make friends that way.  

As for the romantic relationship side of things, I've been too busy (at least in the Before Times) to do anything about that.  Maybe later, though it's getting pretty late in life.  On the other hand, after reading about the man who got his PhD in physics at age 89, I've decided one is never to old for anything.


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## boliverchadsworth (Nov 27, 2021)

between covid yah or nay vax anti vax  yah or nay  dem repub yah or any black other yah or nay---pretty damn difficult to find  any other like minded folks .....dont know about you but one is all I want and need ...m or f--any color bit more choosy on vax dem etc.tho....I only mean this as a possiblity...(one that has not worked for me lately) a house organizer cleaner etc....for me it is coffee chit chat make friends if they are worthy ...(often they are not) if I can help them I do. most? you cannot help-- give them some money......thats it......

hope springs eternal...and a fools errand ...yet, I persist


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## officerripley (Nov 27, 2021)

WheatenLover said:


> Maybe you could start a meetup group. They usually clearly define the type of people they want to attract (like writers, knitters, etc.). I don't even know if that's still a thing, but you could google it.


The Meetup.com site is still online but none of the meetup groups here are meeting in person due to Covid, same with other kind of groups, church, senior, whatever, practically nothing meeting in person.


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## WheatenLover (Nov 28, 2021)

officerripley said:


> The Meetup.com site is still online but none of the meetup groups here are meeting in person due to Covid, same with other kind of groups, church, senior, whatever, practically nothing meeting in person.


Yes, that is a real problem -- Zoom meetings just aren't the same.


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## officerripley (Nov 29, 2021)

WheatenLover said:


> Yes, that is a real problem -- Zoom meetings just aren't the same.


I agree about Zoom meetings, I don't what it is but they make me nervous; seems like no matter how good the person running the meeting is at doing it in person, on a Zoom mtg everyone either keeps trying to talk at once or everyone is quiet staring at their screen waiting for someone else to talk.


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## Ronni (Nov 29, 2021)

officerripley said:


> I agree about Zoom meetings, I don't what it is but they make me nervous; seems like no matter how good the person running the meeting is at doing it in person, on a Zoom mtg everyone either keeps trying to talk at once or everyone is quiet staring at their screen waiting for someone else to talk


Honestly I find in person gatherings similar when not everyone knows everyone else, or perhaps they do, but not well. I’m usually the one to start talking/get the conversational ball rolling. I guess I do it just because I’m particularly not self conscious or shy so I don’t feel awkward being the one to break the silence.

And also I’ve learned that no matter what I say there’s a general sense of relief that SOMEONE spoke up and got things going lol!


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## Packerjohn (Dec 3, 2021)

Face to face adult conversation is so important.  I believe that sitting and watching TV all day by yourself is just asking for dementia to become your way of life.  You need to share experiences, laughing with someone or have someone around to hear what a bad day you had.  Most of us are social animals and that is why "social distancing" really "sucks."


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## Tabby Ann (Dec 6, 2021)

DeAnn said:


> So, I've got to find friends, people to chat with, to go to lunch with, to do some fun activities with, etc. This forum looked like a good place to reach out to people. So here I am. Saying hello.


The problem with finding new local friends to do activities with on this forum, is that the world wide area covered is so vast it's hard to run across another person from your state or town.  And many of the senior connection groups advertised on the Internet that say they are localized by states and are free, really are not.


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## boliverchadsworth (Dec 18, 2021)

Ruthanne said:


> This thread is for anyone to comment on but is about those who are single and alone making new friends.
> 
> So, I am attempting now to make some new friends again.  At least I keep trying and haven't given up although I did give it a break and gave up for awhile.
> 
> ...


Not much on typing in fact I am adamently opposed to it.....been doing it all my life -it is slow easily misconstrued compounded by my carelessness and lack of diligence. that said ...I feel you're sadness and bewilderment.  me-too! but if you think it through we may be blessed and do not realize it ...some folks on here would love to me (alone.....(and healthy) I am and given the options it is pretty darned good ..I am am humbly grateful..every day.There are many ways to meet others ..and, after I have engaged them in sparkling conversation and witty remark or two quickly wished I had not disturbed what ever moron realitly they live in......so there is that-early in the morning walmart gym...120 seconds of meaningless chit chat is usually engough for me....to come home and hug myself hahhah


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## boliverchadsworth (Dec 18, 2021)

side note if I do find someone that I want to speak with I insist on webcam....that works much much better for me and whomever-


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## Marie5656 (Dec 18, 2021)

*I moved here to my apartment mid lockdown. So few opportunities to meet other tenants and make friends as the community room was closed. But once we re-opened I made an effort to get down and meet the other tenants. Being that this is a senior community, everyone is my age or older, which is great.  
Now, I would say most people I consider friends (not family members) are here in this building. They are who I spend the most time with and have the most in common with.
But we also have a senior community center across the street as well. So it has just been a matter of making the effort to get out to where the people are*


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