# Living in the past---that's life as we age



## Amethyst1 (May 15, 2014)

What is wrong with living in the past? The older I get, the more I seem to do so, and I don't see anything
bad about it. Philosophically, the past is all we have as long as it is remembered or recorded.
Our future actions are a result of past decisions and things that happened. We live through our
past whether we know it or not.
      People always say live in the present, but technically that is
impossible. I write these words in the present (as you read them) and now that sentence is in the
past. It's over. It's called the specious present. The future does not exist--yet. So our lives
are what we have done (and maybe will do). If you write a diary or journal you clearly see that.
A 90 year old really lives his/her past. But it seems strange to say that about a 21 year old.

So how many of you know that you live in the past and admit it?


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## Falcon (May 15, 2014)

According to your definition, we ALL do.   But I'd rather dwell on the good parts than the bad ones.


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## Ina (May 15, 2014)

I am with you Falcon.nthego:


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## Kaya (May 15, 2014)

I find more joy in remembering the past.


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## Ina (May 15, 2014)

Kaya, Are you the artist that did your avatars? :magnify:


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## SifuPhil (May 15, 2014)

When you live in the past you ignore the present and rob yourself of your future.


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## Happyflowerlady (May 15, 2014)

I think that I actually live in all three places, the past, the present, and the future. 
Yes, I know that I can't actually be anywhere but right here in the present as it happens, but I have memories that are almost like re-living the past, and I have dreams of what I want in my future; and I think that all of them make my life much richer. 
Since we have a choice of what we want to remember; I enjoy re-living some of the happy memories of days gone by, and don't dwell on the ones I want to forget, but learning the lessons the past has taught me.
I dream of what I want in my future, and then work on that in the present in an effort to make the hopes and plans become actualizations.  
I think if I just lived in the present, with no consideration of lessons learned in the past, or expectations for the future; then life for me would lose a lot of its meaning and usefulness.
So, I cherish all three, and strive for a good balance among all of them.


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## Warrigal (May 15, 2014)

After a week where I attended three funerals I have entered a very reflective phase.
I have been reviewing my life and I have no regrets so if I choose to revisit events from my past I have very little besides pleasant memories to dwell on.

I have been allowing my mind to float like a butterfly and set down wherever it will and it has conjured up all sorts of delightful memories of places I've been and things that have delighted my eye or touched my heart. I've remembered people, some dear ones close to me and others who were just passing encounters, every one a joy to remember. As I do this it becomes something like a count-your-blessings exercise, although that is not the initial purpose, and I sometimes feel the need to say, "Thank you", to the Giver of Blessings. 

As I do this, my breathing slows and my heart rate with it. I know this because sometimes I do it while exercising on the treadmill, which gives me a heart beat read out. I've never been very good at meditation but my butterfly memories are certainly doing me good.

I've never been very good at living in the present because I'm a bit of a dreamer. The only time I'm really in the present moment is when I'm outdoors experiencing nature in some form. Today, after refreshing the tadpoles' water I paused and looked up at the sky. I don't do this nearly often enough. It was absolutely cloudless and almost an electric blue colour. Against the blue of the sky was the eucalyptus tree where my magpies nest and the peculiar colour of the leaves, that is so characteristic of this country, was familiar and spoke gently of home. The sun on the back of my head was warm and didn't burn because this is Autumn now, not the height of Summer. Beside me was the Japanese maple tree and it's leaves are beginning to brown off and crinkle. Soon they will cover the ground where I was standing with a crunchy brown carpet. It was a moment to memorise for revisiting some day in the future when I need to daydream about the past. I took a mental snapshot.

The future? I don't plan much for the future because I believe it will unfold as it must. That is not to say that I don't make sensible provisions for tomorrow but I also don't delude myself that I have any real control over my destiny. I rehearse in my mind possibilities that disturb me so that should or when they eventuate I will not be taken by surprise. I will be as prepared as a person can be and hopefully I will be resilient.

I guess I am a time traveller, slipping between present, past and future at will. And I don't even need a time machine.


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## Justme (May 16, 2014)

I have no wish to live in the past, the present is where it is at, imo.


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## Jackie22 (May 16, 2014)

I've never been one to live in the past, its gone...done....over with.  I do think of the future, mainly for my children and grandchildren.


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## Justme (May 16, 2014)

Some people seems to view the past with rose coloured spectacles, when in reality it maybe not have been as wonderful as they thought it was!


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## Rainee (May 16, 2014)

Old times never come back.and I suppose just as well what comes back is a new morning every day of the year and that`s better.!!
I loved your post Warrigal a real heartfelt post..  My  past has some nice memories and some sad , I would rather not dwell too much into 
the past..they say yesterday is history.. tomorrow is a mystery..and today? today is a gift thats why we call it the present .. a day at a time is 
my motto...


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## Justme (May 16, 2014)

I suppose some people would find my take on life a bit strange, but I look on the past as disposable, like the people who have died. I was extremely fond of my maternal grandmother, but when she died in 1980, I didn't regret her death, she was well past her three score years and ten. I don't do funerals these days, I don't see the point, but that is just me.


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## Meanderer (May 16, 2014)

I think time travel does exist, but we can only travel forward in time...and we move at the speed of life!  

We dwell or live in the present...it's really the only time we can take an action. We can visit the past, or dream of the future...but it's when we dwell or live in the past that we rob ourselves of the present.  As we travel we can't pull over for a while, or drive looking only at the rear view mirror.  

We have to "live defensively", looking around us, looking forward, and checking the rear view occasionally.  A balanced life-view can be tough at times.


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## kcvet (May 16, 2014)

those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it has some merit. ive used it to make decisions for now and the future. but i don't dwell on it. for me its a valuable tool. gotta know where your been to move forward. been there done that for good or bad has helped me side step some of lifes land mines. even though ive stepped on some in the past.


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## rt3 (May 16, 2014)

as the zipper of quantum reality closes to create the present, it projects into the future the many possibilities and choices to the "younger" who have to reinvent the wheel.


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## SeaBreeze (May 16, 2014)

I know what you mean Amethyst, every moment we live is immediately past.  The present is the only past I live in.


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## That Guy (May 16, 2014)

Be Here Now.


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## SifuPhil (May 16, 2014)

Meanderer said:


> ... We dwell or live in the present...it's really the only time we can take an action. We can visit the past, or dream of the future...but it's when we dwell or live in the past that we rob ourselves of the present.  As we travel we can't pull over for a while, or drive looking only at the rear view mirror.
> 
> We have to "live defensively", looking around us, looking forward, and checking the rear view occasionally.  A balanced life-view can be tough at times.



Nicely put.

Basically that's how I responded to my students as well, when they raised a fuss over my "live in the present" speech. "What about George, my long-lost goldfish? Why is it wrong to remember him?", or "You make us do "What If?" exercises in self-defense class - isn't THAT living in the future?"

My answers were "No, it isn't wrong to remember George, but it won't bring him back nor will it help you cope with the present", and "We're just _visiting_ the possible future, not living in it".


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## Denise1952 (May 16, 2014)

I think it is best for me to stay in the now, which means using/applying what I've learned in the past, to what I can take into my future.  The more active I am physically, either socializing, or literally moving about home, or town, or a hike, the less I think about the past, or the future.  I'm in the now, and that's when I enjoy life most of all.


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## Meanderer (May 16, 2014)

By George.....


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## grannyjo (May 16, 2014)

You cannot change even one second of the past.  It has gone.  All you can do is try to learn from the past,  try not to repeat those errors.


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## Denise1952 (May 16, 2014)

That Guy said:


> Be Here Now.



Hey TG!! Thanks, 'cause I been wanderin around tonight wonderin "where the hell am I":lofl:  I think Icu too


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## Phantom (May 16, 2014)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azxoVRTwlNg 

BTW How do I post just the utube video without all the extra?


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## Phantom (May 16, 2014)

Don't worry I dun it


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## GDAD (May 17, 2014)

Phantom That did bring back memories>>>>of a song I most hated. At one stage it was played a hundred times a __________________Day!:crying:


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## Meanderer (May 17, 2014)

Thanks Phantom...what a difference a *Day* makes!


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## Denise1952 (May 17, 2014)

Oh man, that was good, and Doris made my day lots of times watching her movies  I hadn't thought of this song either, in yeeeeeeears!!  Gonna take..a sentimental journey..  Thanks for the memories  Oh yeah, and then there was Bob Hope!


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## kcvet (May 17, 2014)




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## Amethyst1 (May 19, 2014)

Why do some people always talk in the here and now, even with family and friends?
They rarely speak of the past or future. Here and now talk, incessantly
bores me and is quite superficial, shallow, tiresome. Just chit chat.


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## That Guy (May 19, 2014)

Long ago, there was a cartoon character in a surfing magazine who rode the wave of time.  Leaving the past behind and projecting into the future, he would kickout of the wave into the present.  Life happens in the here and now.


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## Denise1952 (May 19, 2014)

Amethyst1 said:


> Why do some people always talk in the here and now, even with family and friends?
> They rarely speak of the past or future. Here and now talk, incessantly
> bores me and is quite superficial, shallow, tiresome. Just chit chat.



I think that is a different deal than "living in the here and now".  People can reflect, tell stories of past times etc. and still live in the here and now.  I do think we can have issues that are too painful to think about, so we don't.  I know the type of talk you me Amethyst, for me it's called shallow.  I can't handle talking to anyone for long that won't talk about real-life things.  I was brought up in a home where you didn't talk about real stuff.  The only real stuff was us kids getting yelled or screamed at for making their lives miserable. Everything was our fault it seemed like.  I grew up thinking I ruined my mothers life, and made her drink alcohol.  

So I'm getting off on another topic, apologies, but I like genuine, give me someone blubbering about their life over someone who covers everything up any day.  I know there is a time and a place to talk about certain things, but after typing this, I think we should be living in all 3 times, balanced of course, with our feet grounded in today


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## Mirabilis (May 19, 2014)

Without getting into semantics, I think the idea of someone living in the past just means someone who does not enjoy the present or think of the future.  My present and future and affected by my past and I take those learning lessons and move forward.  Do i dwell on the past?  Sometimes I do - sometimes I listen to a song and it awakens memories of the past and sometimes I cry or miss or wonder but after the traffic light turns green and the song has ended I go on with my [present] day.  I think it's just natural.


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