# Defining "Friendship"



## debodun (Jan 30, 2015)

How would define "friendship" or more specifically, where do you draw the line at friendship?


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## QuickSilver (Jan 30, 2015)

Cautiously...... I have many many acquaintances... but only one or two folks I would call close friends..  It's much safer that way


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## AprilT (Jan 30, 2015)

QuickSilver said:


> Cautiously...... I have many many acquaintances... but only one or two folks I would call close friends..  It's much safer that way



Same here, I have very few that I consider to be real friends and they have been so for a good decade or quarter century at the very least at this point.  These are people I can talk with about anything, be anything, they care about me inspite of my faults and they never turn their back on me, no matter what my issues and vice versa.


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## AZ Jim (Jan 30, 2015)

I guess I am just easy I consider both the ladies above as friends.


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## jujube (Jan 30, 2015)

A friend will climb the highest mountain for you....cross the hottest desert....swim the widest river.  A true friend will take you to the airport during rush hour.


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## AprilT (Jan 31, 2015)

jujube said:


> A friend will climb the highest mountain for you....cross the hottest desert....swim the widest river.  A true friend will take you to the airport during rush hour.



Ain't that the truth.  LOL!


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## SifuPhil (Jan 31, 2015)

A true friend is the last person I will devour after our plane crashes.


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## AprilT (Jan 31, 2015)

SifuPhil said:


> A true friend is the last person I will devour after our plane crashes.



:lol:


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## Victor (Feb 1, 2015)

Friends have obligations to each other, such as talking regularly, maybe getting
together, having each other's phone number--unless there's a strong reason
why they cannot be shared. Usually some feeling of concern for the other is present.
They care for each other's health or well-being, at least minimally. At least you wish no
harm to the other.

Acquaintances have no obligations to each other. They do not even have
to greet each other in passing. They can walk away in the middle of a 
conversation without even saying goodbye. You might not even care if
you see the other person again. No commitment at all.


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## Debby (Feb 1, 2015)

I would define 'friendship' by simply saying, 'my marriage'.


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## oakapple (Feb 2, 2015)

jujube said:


> A friend will climb the highest mountain for you....cross the hottest desert....swim the widest river. A true friend will take you to the airport during rush hour.



Really? In that case I am devastated, as it means that I have no friends!


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## oakapple (Feb 2, 2015)

OOps, did not mean to post twice but merely to correct my spelling of devastated.Some of my friends MAY take me to the airport, but as to the other things........


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## AprilT (Feb 2, 2015)

oakapple said:


> OOps, did not mean to post twice but merely to correct my spelling of devastated.Some of my friends MAY take me to the airport, but as to the other things........




I actually meant to highlight the airport part when I responded.  LOL, that's the real test of a friendship, the other stuff, Meh.  LOL, you have strangers that would do those things in a pinch.

In all reality, there are degrees of friendships, I have several friends that I wouldn't classify as close friends and I also wouldn't put them in the category of acquaintances, but they are friends nonetheless, I just wouldn't count on them the way I would my close friends.


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## oakapple (Feb 2, 2015)

I agree April. Although, until you are in need, it's hard to know who would do the best for you [as in , 'a friend in need....is a pest!']


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## Catraoine (Mar 10, 2015)

A real friend for me is someone that will kick me up the butt if I need it, a real friend will be honest with me and never just say 'the right' thing. A real friend to me is someone who will put the friendship at risk rather than see me make some really bad choices. A real friend to me is someone who will know when to step back and let me find my way and will put cushions down in case I fall and then holds out their hand so I can pull myself upright again. They will laugh with me, not at me, they will cry with me and for me. They will respect themselves and know their worth and command that I value them as such. I have had two such friends in my life as I describe, there is nothing they don't know about me and vice versa and I trust them with my life and have done. That trust was never broken. I love them both dearly.


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## Kadee (Mar 10, 2015)

True friends, are like diamonds precious and rare, False friends are like autum leaves found everywhere.


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## Shalimar (Mar 11, 2015)

I had a friend like that. Thirty-three years ago, two days before my child was due to be born, my friend and I were crossing the crosswalk with the light. Suddenly, a car careened toward us. Too ungainly to move, I simply stared. My friend, with cat-like reflexes, shoved me out of the way, and took the hit in the chest. He died later that afternoon, never regaining consciousness. My son, Jesse, bears his name. Oddly enough, his family tell me that my son exhibits many of the same personality traits as their former family member. Greater love has no man.  I still can't tell this story without tears. All I can do is try to pay it forward.


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## Glinda (Mar 11, 2015)

Shalimar said:


> I had a friend like that. Thirty-three years ago, two days before my child was due to be born, my friend and I were crossing the crosswalk with the light. Suddenly, a car careened toward us. Too ungainly to move, I simply stared. My friend, with cat-like reflexes, shoved me out of the way, and took the hit in the chest. He died later that afternoon, never regaining consciousness. My son, Jesse, bears his name. Oddly enough, his family tell me that my son exhibits many of the same personality traits as their former family member. Greater love has no man.  I still can't tell this story without tears. All I can do is try to pay it forward.



Oh my God, Shalimar!  This brings tears to my eyes just reading it.  Your friend made the ultimate sacrifice for you and your baby.  I'm speechless.


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## Ameriscot (Mar 11, 2015)

Shalimar said:


> I had a friend like that. Thirty-three years ago, two days before my child was due to be born, my friend and I were crossing the crosswalk with the light. Suddenly, a car careened toward us. Too ungainly to move, I simply stared. My friend, with cat-like reflexes, shoved me out of the way, and took the hit in the chest. He died later that afternoon, never regaining consciousness. My son, Jesse, bears his name. Oddly enough, his family tell me that my son exhibits many of the same personality traits as their former family member. Greater love has no man.  I still can't tell this story without tears. All I can do is try to pay it forward.



Brings tears to my eyes as well!


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## AZ Jim (Mar 11, 2015)

A true friend is someone who when they come to see you, you don't need to change your tee shirt for!


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## Cookie (Mar 11, 2015)

AZ Jim said:


> A true friend is someone who when they come to see you, you don't need to change your tee shirt for!



That says it all, Jim, so true!  No dusting or spiffing up needed.


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## AZ Jim (Mar 11, 2015)

Shalimar said:


> I had a friend like that. Thirty-three years ago, two days before my child was due to be born, my friend and I were crossing the crosswalk with the light. Suddenly, a car careened toward us. Too ungainly to move, I simply stared. My friend, with cat-like reflexes, shoved me out of the way, and took the hit in the chest. He died later that afternoon, never regaining consciousness. My son, Jesse, bears his name. Oddly enough, his family tell me that my son exhibits many of the same personality traits as their former family member. Greater love has no man.  I still can't tell this story without tears. All I can do is try to pay it forward.



My Gawd! What a touching story.  A true hero your friend!  I know how it must affect you. Thanks for sharing that sad drama with us!


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## Shalimar (Mar 11, 2015)

Thank you Jim, and Ameriscot, for your,support. This story has a happy twist. From the time he was three, until he hit puberty, my son spoke of the silver man who would visit him in his dreams, offering comfort when needed. I did not think much of it, in a family of  poets, anything is possible. Lollolllol! Approximately three years ago, the brother of Jesse's lifelong best friend, Jon Ng, died of Non Hodgkins Lymphoma. He was not yet thirty. Jesse was deeply affected,but to his, and my amazement, the silver man returned to comfort him yet again. The strange thing is, this time he has stayed, to keep my agnostic son company.
odd,but very beautiful, I think.


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## Shalimar (Mar 11, 2015)

Thank you, Glinda, for your kind words. Such are the things that shape us, hopefully for the better.


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## Cookie (Mar 11, 2015)

Shalimar, your story of the silver man is beautiful and your son is very lucky to still have him in his life.  What a miraculous happening that your friend saved you and your son and gave up his own life --- very inspiring and thought provoking for me. Thanks for sharing that.


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## Shalimar (Mar 11, 2015)

Cookie, you are most welcome. I am truly grateful for all the miracles, past, present, and future. Hopefully, it keeps me humble, and appreciative.


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## drifter (Mar 12, 2015)

I suppose I've never had any close friends. Casual friends, someone I played golf with or chatted over a cup of coffee maybe. No one I trusted deeply, could depend on. Maybe that's a personal fault.


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## pchrise (Mar 14, 2015)

SifuPhil said:


> A true friend is the last person I will devour after our plane crashes.


  OK........


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## Shalimar (Mar 14, 2015)

SifuPhil, remind me NEVER to travel anywhere with you!


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## Cookie (Mar 17, 2015)

“What is friendship if not constant amateurish psychoanalysis?”

_Found this in New Yorker today and thought it was apt._


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