# Afraid for my Philly



## Shalimar

Philly is back in hospital again. His hemoglobin in falling again, slow bleed indicated. Time for intrusive tests. Fortunately he can be knocked out. I hope they can finally determine the cause, and fix it! Trying to remain 

positive, but it has been a long haul and my nerves are showing the strain. My having a bleeding ulcer isn't helping either. Please send prayers and positive thoughts for my fiancé.


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## Ameriscot

Oh no, sorry to hear that, Shali.  I'll keep Philly and you in my thoughts.  xxx


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## BlunderWoman

Shalimar said:


> Philly is back in hospital again. His hemoglobin in falling again, slow bleed indicated. Time for intrusive tests. Fortunately he can be knocked out. I hope they can finally determine the cause, and fix it! Trying to remain
> 
> positive, but it has been a long haul and my nerves are showing the strain. Having a bleeding ulcer isn't helping either. Please send prayers and positive thoughts for my fiancé.


I'm so sorry this is happening. I will keep Phil and you in my thoughts and prayers. ((((((hug))))))


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## bluebreezes

Dear Shali, here is a big hug for you and I will keep both you and Philly in my meditations wood walks. It sounds tremendously stressful but it sounds like invasive testing will help to diagnose for the best resolution. :girl_hug:


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## QuickSilver

I'm so sorry..  Keep us posted..


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## NancyNGA

Sorry to hear this Shalimar.  I'm keeping you and Phil in my thoughts.


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## Shalimar

Ameriscot said:


> Oh no, sorry to hear that, Shali.  I'll keep Philly and you in my thoughts.  xxx


Thanks Annie. Xxx back at you.


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## Shalimar

BlunderWoman said:


> I'm so sorry this is happening. I will keep Phil and you in my thoughts and prayers. ((((((hug))))))


Thanks so much BW.


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## Shalimar

bluebreezes said:


> Dear Shali, here is a big hug for you and I will keep both you and Philly in my meditations wood walks. It sounds tremendously stressful but it sounds like invasive testing will help to diagnose for the best resolution. :girl_hug:


So kind of you. I truly appreciate it.


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## Shalimar

QuickSilver said:


> I'm so sorry..  Keep us posted..


Thanks QS. I will deliver updates when I know more.


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## Shalimar

NancyNGA said:


> Sorry to hear this Shalimar.  I'm keeping you and Phil in my thoughts.


Thanks Nancy for your kind words.


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## Falcon

Thanks for the update Shali.  Sure hope the doctors find a cure for whatever is ailing him,
and the sooner the better!  I miss him here on the forum.


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## Shalimar

Falcon said:


> Thanks for the update Shali.  Sure hope the doctors find a cure for whatever is ailing him,
> and the sooner the better!  I miss him here on the forum.


Thanks Falcon. I hope this mess is resolved soon.


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## RadishRose

I was wondering about Phil and am sorry to hear this. Another surgery may be required but they'll find it!


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## Bobw235

Sending positive thoughts for a swift and thorough resolution, Shali. Hope Phil is feeling better quickly and that your worries will be eased. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.


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## Shalimar

Bobw235 said:


> Sending positive thoughts for a swift and thorough resolution, Shali. Hope Phil is feeling better quickly and that your worries will be eased. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.


Thanks so very much Bob.


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## Shalimar

RadishRose said:


> I was wondering about Phil and am sorry to hear this. Another surgery may be required but they'll find it!


Thanks Rose. I remain hopeful that this time will bring a positive resolution.


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## Jackie22

Shali, I wish to sends good wishes for Phil's health and also to you, for peace of mind.


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## Shalimar

Jackie22 said:


> Shali, I wish to sends good wishes for Phil's health and also to you, for peace of mind.


Thank you so much Jackie for your kind words.


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## tnthomas

Shali,   I didn't realize that Phil's condition was so _difficult_; best wishes and thoughts for the both of you.  Phil is fortunate to have such a dynamic woman in his life.  

Tell Phil that "Tim(AKA tnthomas) @seniorforums says 'hi', and get well soon!"     :wave:


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## Shalimar

tnthomas said:


> Shali,   I didn't realize that Phil's condition was so _difficult_; best wishes and thoughts for the both of you.  Phil is fortunate to have such a dynamic woman in his life.
> 
> Tell Phil that "Tim(AKA tnthomas) @seniorforums says 'hi', and get well soon!"     :wave:



Thanks for all your kind words Tim. I shall relay your greeting/well wishes to Philly. By the way, I am the fortunate one to have 
such an incredible man as sifuphil in my life.


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## Cookie

Shalimar, so sorry to hear Phil is not well. Here's my best wishes for a speedy recovery and good health.


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## AprilT

My best wishes for Phil to get better.


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## Shalimar

Cookie said:


> Shalimar, so sorry to hear Phil is not well. Here's my best wishes for a speedy recovery and good health.


Thanks so much Cookie.


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## Shalimar

AprilT said:


> My best wishes for Phil to get better.


Appreciate your kind wishes April. Thanks.


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## Butterfly

Shali, I add my thoughts and prayers to those already promised here.  I DO miss Philly and his humor and lighthearted fun.  Please tell him I miss him, too.

Do they have any idea what might be going on?  I hope he has good specialists working with him on this.

And for you, I can only imagine how hard this is for you, especially to be at a distance during this difficult time, and you, of course, have my thoughts and prayers, too.  I hope he has a good patient advocate with him -- his son, perhaps?


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## Shalimar

Butterfly said:


> Shali, I add my thoughts and prayers to those already promised here.  I DO miss Philly and his humor and lighthearted fun.  Please tell him I miss him, too.
> 
> Do they have any idea what might be going on?  I hope he has good specialists working with him on this.
> 
> And for you, I can only imagine how hard this is for you, especially to be at a distance during this difficult time, and you, of course, have my thoughts and prayers, too.  I hope he has a good patient advocate with him -- his son, perhaps?


Thanks so much for your kind concern Butterfly. I will relay your positive thoughts to Philly. I will send you a pm.


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## Carla

Prayers to you and Phil. Wishing him a speedy recovery!


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## Shalimar

Carla said:


> Prayers to you and Phil. Wishing him a speedy recovery!


Thanks so much Carla.


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## fureverywhere

Oh Shali, sending hugs to you and Phil together...Hope all is well sooner rather than later, you're in my prayers.


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## Ruth n Jersey

So sorry,hope he will feel better soon.


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## Pappy

I have missed hearing from my FB friend and SF buddy. Good thoughts your way, Phil. Feel better soon. Pappy


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## Shalimar

Pappy said:


> I have missed hearing from my FB friend and SF buddy. Good thoughts your way, Phil. Feel better soon. Pappy


Thanks so much pappy. Will pass your sentiments along to Philly.


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## Warrigal

Shali, I am thinking of you both at this moment.

While it is easier to say than to do, you must keep yourself strong and sane at this time by suspending worry that can do no good to either of you. When you know what is wrong and what you or Phil can do about it then that is the time to really give it your mental energy. In the meantime, by whatever mechanism you can, try to find a peaceful equilibrium. I know that you have all the tools and I urge you to apply them.

You have my prayers.


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## SeaBreeze

Sad news Shalimar, so sorry.  Hope they can find out what's wrong and help him quickly so he can return home again.  Warm healing thoughts sent to you both.


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## fureverywhere

We have no one else who identifies as genetically male who can fit into that French Maid costume...come on Philly Baby we need you!!!


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## Shalimar

Hi folks, my name is Duncan, and I am a good friend of Shalimar. I am sorry to tell you that she collapsed earlier today. Currently she is in hospital, and we are very much afraid she may have peritonitis resulting from her perforated ulcer. It had 

closed on it's own, but there are strong indications that it has erupted. She asked me to thank you for all the caring messages pertaining to Phil regaining his health. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers. Thank you. As usual, she presented 

beautifully. We had no idea of the seriousness of her conditon.


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## Warrigal

Thank you Duncan and please let her know how much she is loved and how concerned we are for her well being.


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## Pam

So sorry to hear about both Philly and Shalimar. Please pass on my very best wishes for a speedy recovery.


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## Ameriscot

Duncan, send my good wishes to Shalimar and Philly!  xx


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## BlunderWoman

Shalimar said:


> Hi folks, my name is Duncan, and I am a good friend of Shalimar. I am sorry to tell you that she collapsed earlier today. Currently she is in hospital, and we are very much afraid she may have peritonitis resulting from her perforated ulcer. It had
> 
> closed on it's own, but there are strong indications that it has erupted. She asked me to thank you for all the caring messages pertaining to Phil regaining his health. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers. Thank you. As usual, she presented
> 
> beautifully. We had no idea of the seriousness of her conditon.



I will keep them both in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you for letting us know Duncan.


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## SeaBreeze

Thanks Duncan, hope Shalimar is back on her feet soon.


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## Ruth n Jersey

Very sorry, my thoughts are with both of them. I wish them a speedy recovery.


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## Butterfly

Duncan, please give my very best to Shali and tell her she and Philly are both in my thoughts and prayers.  I am so sorry this is happening to them -- they are both such kind and fun people and much loved here on the forum.


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## bluebreezes

Thank you Duncan for letting us know, and please tell them they are dear to us here and I hope they both recover soon to live a wonderful life together in great love and good health.


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## WhatInThe

Phil: GET WELL SOON!

https://www.bing.com/images/search?...f36de62d97ba03db4f13c28bee12da24o0&ajaxhist=0


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## Pinky

I have been remiss in keeping up with the forum.
Both Shalimar and Phil, my thoughts are with you both to get better and get home where you both belong.
Love Lil
xoxo


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## QuickSilver

My goodness...  I didn't read Duncans note until just now.. I too have been busy this weekend and not really active in posting.  My thoughts are with both Shali and Philly..


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## Cookie

Shalimar, hope your OK.  All the best to you and Phil for getting well again.


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## Phoenix

Wow, I've been taking time to heal from my own PTSD and husband's illness, so I'm only on here occasionally, and don't check out all the threads.  I do hope both Phil and Shali make full recoveries.  Worry is so destructive and so hard to keep under control, even for those of us who try meditation and self-healing techniques.


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## fureverywhere

Has anyone heard anything new???


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## jujube

Keeping Phil and Shali in my thoughts.  I hope for a speedy recovery for both of them.


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## Bobw235

Shalimar said:


> Hi folks, my name is Duncan, and I am a good friend of Shalimar. I am sorry to tell you that she collapsed earlier today. Currently she is in hospital, and we are very much afraid she may have peritonitis resulting from her perforated ulcer. It had
> 
> closed on it's own, but there are strong indications that it has erupted. She asked me to thank you for all the caring messages pertaining to Phil regaining his health. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers. Thank you. As usual, she presented
> 
> beautifully. We had no idea of the seriousness of her conditon.



Duncan, I hadn't seen this message until today, and hope this finds Shalimar feeling better. Thanks for letting us know. Also hoping Phil is on the mend. Please give them both my best wishes.


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## tnthomas

Duncan,  thank you for keeping us informed, so sorry to hear of Shalimar falling ill.      Please convey to Shalimar & Phil our concern, and best of wishes and thoughts, hoping for swift and complete recovery.


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## Carla

Shalimar,
If you get this, I just want you to know I'm thinking of you and wish you well! Hoping your sweetie is doing better, and you both are on the road to recovery!


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## fureverywhere

Darlin' you just found each other and now this? Prayers and hugs all over the place...


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## Shalimar

Hi folks. Duncan here.  I regret to inform you that Shalimar is currently on life support in ICU following  a drug overdose. Please keep her and Philly--who won't receive this news until later this morning when the social worker arrives at his facility, in 

your thoughts and prayers. This was totally unexpected. I have known her for twenty years, easily the strongest, most compassionate  person I have ever met. I doubt any of you know that she is considered one of the best therapists in B.C. 

counseling those that other therapists consider hopeless. Still, she carries demons that would destroy most of us out of hand, and the stress of the last two months has been horrific. Along with her own severe ulcer issues, she  still does not have any 

definitive answers regarding Philly's condition, and the reason behind his low hemoglobin, (requiring frequent blood transfusions.) he is slated for further tests next week. I expect an influx of vets willing to "stand" for Shalimar to arrive at the hospital by early morning pacific time. I am beyond terrified.


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## Warrigal

Stay strong for her Duncan. She may not know it but she has so many friends on this forum and in real life who love her and are wishing/praying her to recover. Please keep us informed when you can.


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## IKE

Profound.....:sorrow:


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## GeorgiaXplant

On, nononono. Thinking positive thoughts for both of them. This news hurts my heart.


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## Bobw235

Duncan, I just don't know what to say, beyond expressing my sadness at this terrible news and saying a prayer that she can recover from this tragedy. So sad. I am just stunned.


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## Pappy

My heart goes out to her and Phil. Both good friends on this forum. Bless them both.


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## Ameriscot

I'm so very sad to hear this.  Shali is my friend.


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## SeaBreeze

Thanks for the update Duncan, very sad news, hope they both get through this.


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## bluebreezes

Dear Duncan, thank you for this sad update and know that I along with so many others here send you strength, support and hugs for Shali's and Phil's recovery. They are lucky to have such a friend as you standing by them.


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## fureverywhere

Just devastating, deepest sympathy to all<<<hugs and kisses>>>


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## Ruthanne

I am praying for Shali and Phil.  I am so stunned by this news.


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## mitchezz

There are no words. Sending out positive vibes.


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## Jackie22

Such very sad news, they are both in my thoughts.


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## Phoenix

Duncan, thank you for letting us know.  It would be nice if we could send her cards while she's in the hospital, so she knows we are rooting for her and Phil.  She is not in this alone.  I'm going to send an email to her.  If you could reply with the address of the hospital, I would send her that card.  Hang in, dear one.  My thoughts are with you too.


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## Mrs. Robinson

No words here. Prayers being said for both Shali and Phil.


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## tnthomas

Words escape me, thoughts a prayers for you two.


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## QuickSilver

omg... no


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## Matrix

Thank you so much for letting us know, Duncan. Very sad news, they are the only couple who knew each other through this forum. Hope they recover soon.


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## HazyDavey

In my thoughts and prayers.


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## 911

I do not read all of the posts, but this one caught my eye. I wish them both well.


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## Pinky

Holding our sister in our hearts, Duncan.


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## Gemma

Nothing but good thoughts and prayers going out to Shalimar & Philly.


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## jujube

Hoping and praying they will both be strong enough to pull through this crisis.  Thanks for keeping us informed, Duncan.


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## Shalimar

Thank you all so much for the love and support you offer Lee. If you wish to contact Phil, his computer is up and running, I believe his addy is visible on his page. The veteran contingent arrived yesterday, all dress uniforms and medals galore. They came to "stand" for Shali. Lots of tears. As long as she is in ICU, a vet will be on hand, should she survive and make it into 

a private room--which they are paying for, a vet will stand for her in that room 24/7. Such is the love they have for the indomitable woman they call Triple T (Tiny Teflon Tank,) whom they believe saved their lives. They honour their own. The 

Marine  ( dual citizenship,) has enlisted the shamans of the Oglala Sioux to pray for Shali, the word has also gone out over the service grapevine that she needs help. I hope she finds a reason to fight. She is a bright light. All our hearts are breaking. 
Duncan. PS you should see the amazing poetry she writes. D


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## Pinky

Duncan, what a loving gesture on the part of the veteran contingent. It will surely make a big impact on Shali. She loves and respects them so much. The shaman prayers are bestowed on only very special people. I have been an honoured recipient of Shali's poetry, having more than one written especially for me. 

Phil will be struggling with all this, plus his own medical difficulties. I wish him well, and hope with all my heart for a good outcome for both he and Shali.

Lil
xxxx


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## BlunderWoman

Duncan she may just pull out of this. I'm hoping. Power and strength to you Shali. Duncan don't forget to take care of yourself also. (((hugs))))


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## Butterfly

Shalimar said:


> Hi folks. Duncan here.  I regret to inform you that Shalimar is currently on life support in ICU following  a drug overdose. Please keep her and Philly--who won't receive this news until later this morning when the social worker arrives at his facility, in
> 
> your thoughts and prayers. This was totally unexpected. I have known her for twenty years, easily the strongest, most compassionate  person I have ever met. I doubt any of you know that she is considered one of the best therapists in B.C.
> 
> counseling those that other therapists consider hopeless. Still, she carries demons that would destroy most of us out of hand, and the stress of the last two months has been horrific. Along with her own severe ulcer issues, she  still does not have any
> 
> definitive answers regarding Philly's condition, and the reason behind his low hemoglobin, (requiring frequent blood transfusions.) he is slated for further tests next week. I expect an influx of vets willing to "stand" for Shalimar to arrive at the hospital by early morning pacific time. I am beyond terrified.



Duncan, I am SO sorry that I missed this post the last couple of days.  I am so very sorry to hear this.  Please tell her she is in my heart and I am praying for her.  I miss her, as we all do here.   What a tragic and terrible thing to happen to such a fine and compassionate lady.


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## fureverywhere

Phil and Shalimar, $#@% what can we say? I love both of you. Phil <<<Big HUGS...


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## Ameriscot

Any more news?  How are they both doing?


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## Phoenix

i wish I knew what hospital she was in, but even if I did they wouldn't tell me anything.


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## RadishRose

Phoenix said:


> i wish I knew what hospital she was in, but even if I did they wouldn't tell me anything.




Try this link Phoenix http://www.viha.ca/visit/wellwishes.htm

Also, Canada may not hve the same hipaa laws we do.


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## AprilT

I had exchanged a pm with Duncan over a week ago, the conversation was cordial, but I asked Duncan to pass a message on to Shali's son, I've not heard anything as yet, indicating if the son got the info, I'm still hoping to hear back.


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## Phoenix

RadishRose said:


> Try this link Phoenix http://www.viha.ca/visit/wellwishes.htm
> 
> Also, Canada may not hve the same hipaa laws we do.



Thank you Radish Rose.  At this point I don't intend to call around to all the places listed at the link.  But it's nice to know in case I change my mind.  I do believe Duncan will let us know.

I wonder is Phil is in touch with Duncan or anyone else for that matter.  Last I heard he had his computer.


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## Shalimar

Duncan here folks, thanks again for your concern. Phil is doing much better, anticipating returning home soon, barring anything unexpected. Further tests will be required to solve the mystery of his hemoglobin. Lee is still in hospital, hopefully not 

for much longer. I am sad to announce that a member and sf friend leaked her private health info onto another sight, without her permission or Phil's, and when another sf member/friend  contacted all hospitals nearby mining for PI re Shali, and was unsuccessful 

(HIPAA), the  consensus was that the suicide attempt was bogus. Can you imagine the distress this trolling has caused? Phil and Shali are very upset. I am livid.


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## Phoenix

Shalimar said:


> Duncan here folks, thanks again for your concern. Phil is doing much better, anticipating returning home soon, barring anything unexpected. Further tests will be required to solve the mystery of his hemoglobin. Lee is still in hospital, hopefully not
> 
> for much longer. I am sad to announce that a member and sf friend leaked her private health info onto another sight, without her permission or Phil's, and when another sf member/friend  contacted all hospitals nearby mining for PI re Shali, and was unsuccessful
> 
> (HIPAA), the  consensus was that the suicide attempt was bogus. Can you imagine the distress this trolling has caused? Phil and Shali are very upset. I am livid.



Bummer that someone leaked info.  I would never do that, nor did I call around.  I hope they know that it was not me.  This is the only site I'm on with them.  I don't have a cell phone with free long distance.  And on my home phone I only have local long distance.    It would have cost a lot.

People who care want to know how someone is.  So whoever did this, please don't be do hard on them.


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## Shalimar

Phoenix said:


> Bummer that someone leaked info.  I would never do that, nor did I call around.  I hope they know that it was not me.  This is the only site I'm on with them.  I don't have a cell phone with free long distance.  And on my home phone I only have local long distance.    It would have cost a lot.
> 
> People who care want to know how someone is.  So whoever did this, please don't be do hard on them.




No worries Phoenix, we know you are not responsible for this. The digging for info was not done only out of concern or there would have been no need to troll afterwards when info was not forthcoming. The  suicide attempt was very real, and to suggest otherwise is unconscionable. Duncan.


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## AprilT

WOW!  Someone leaked her personal health info on another site?  How bizarre, but, at the same time as Pheonix mentioned, you can't blame folks for wanting to try to find out what's going on with Shali and Phil, since all of what's been relayed has been kind of mysterious and she has many people who are desperately concerned to make sure they are ok out of concern.


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## Cookie

Very glad to hear that they are both recovering and will be home soon.  I agree its been very vague and mysterious, yet I wonder how in the world anyone would have access to her personal medical information, as here it is strictly confidential and hospitals will not tell anyone anything unless its a close relative.


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## Shalimar

Cookie said:


> Very glad to hear that they are both recovering and will be home soon.  I agree its been very vague and mysterious, yet I wonder how in the world anyone would have access to her personal medical information, as here it is strictly confidential and hospitals will not tell anyone anything unless its a close relative.


Duncan here, 
By private medical  information I meant the fact she had attempted suicide. No one had permission to take that information to another site. As for being vague, Lee and Philly are both exceptionally private people. I did well to get permission to divulge as much as I have.


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## Son_of_Perdition

How ironic that on one thread there is support of technology & it's uses, warnings about hacking & the dangers of having no control over your devices & on this thread you have witnessed an example of what can happen with the use of technology.  It may have been an innocent attempt to garner information but whomever did it compromised someone's privacy.  Whenever, whatever you use technology for you have to be aware of the possibilities that it can be used for the wrong reasons.


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## Cookie

Ahaa, thank you Duncan for keeping us informed, and although, at first we didn't have a clue as to what had happened, you did do extremely well to keep us informed and it is very kind of you to do so.  I'm sure we have all been extremely concerned and now very very relieved to hear that they are mending.  Thank you.


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## Mrs. Robinson

I must have missed the post where it was mentioned that she attempted suicide. I am so,so sorry to see this. What awful pain must have driven her to do that. I truly hope that both Phil and Shalimar recover and can begin the rest of their lives together.


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## Kadee

No one has rights to interfere in another persons privacy ......however How is Shali upset when she's in a coma :shrug:and or on life supprt ..
Sorry now I'm confused ..


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## Warrigal

Thank you Duncan for keeping us informed about our forum friends. 
I was steeling myself for worse news and I am now encouraged for both Shali and Phil.
When you can, please pass on my love for both of them.


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## Shalimar

Kadee46 said:


> No one has rights to interfere in another persons privacy ......however How is Shali upset when she's in a coma :shrug:and or on life supprt ..
> Sorry now I'm confused ..


Shali is doing much better. We are hoping she can come home soon.


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## WhatInThe

Glad to hear both are doing better. Waiting for the day we hear from them personally. A speedy and full recovery to both.


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## Bobw235

Glad both are doing better. Please pass on my best wishes. Really appreciate the update, Duncan. Thanks for keeping us posted.


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## Butterfly

Shalimar said:


> Duncan here folks, thanks again for your concern. Phil is doing much better, anticipating returning home soon, barring anything unexpected. Further tests will be required to solve the mystery of his hemoglobin. Lee is still in hospital, hopefully not
> 
> for much longer. I am sad to announce that a member and sf friend leaked her private health info onto another sight, without her permission or Phil's, and when another sf member/friend  contacted all hospitals nearby mining for PI re Shali, and was unsuccessful
> 
> (HIPAA), the  consensus was that the suicide attempt was bogus. Can you imagine the distress this trolling has caused? Phil and Shali are very upset. I am livid.



Duncan, is Shali going to be all right?  I've been praying for her.  I DO miss her, and Philly too.    Please keep us posted, and give them both my best wishes and love.


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## Butterfly

Shalimar said:


> Duncan here folks, thanks again for your concern. Phil is doing much better, anticipating returning home soon, barring anything unexpected. Further tests will be required to solve the mystery of his hemoglobin. Lee is still in hospital, hopefully not
> 
> for much longer. I am sad to announce that a member and sf friend leaked her private health info onto another sight, without her permission or Phil's, and when another sf member/friend  contacted all hospitals nearby mining for PI re Shali, and was unsuccessful
> 
> (HIPAA), the  consensus was that the suicide attempt was bogus. Can you imagine the distress this trolling has caused? Phil and Shali are very upset. I am livid.



Thank you so much, Duncan, for keeping us in the loop.  We all care about Phil and Shali.  I hope you'll continue to let us know how they are doing.


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## SifuPhil

To all of my friends who have wished Shali and I good health and fortune, thank you - it's appreciated.

But for those few who have created stories and insisted on taunting us with your asinine tales - I have nothing but loathing for you. You've managed to cause a rift between Shali and myself, because I have been remiss in taking on your idiocy and replying in kind. I might even have called you friend at one point, but that ship has sailed forever now.

If your goal was to cause hurt through your pettiness, wild-assed guesses and mean-spiritedness, congratulations - you've succeeded. Now go peddle your poison somewhere else, where other loathsome trolls such as yourselves reside.


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## SeaBreeze

Good to hear from you Phil, happy you're feelin better and hopefully on the mend.  Best to both of you.


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## Phoenix

Phil, I'm so sorry that this has happened to you and Shali.  I do hope the two of you can mend it.  It is unfortunate that some have a need to spread poison.  It is deep inadequacy and immaturity on their parts. Know that there are those of us on this site who wish you well, always.  May the sun once again shine into your heart and heal all things.


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## Jackie22

Hi Phil, nothing but good thoughts and wishes for both you and Shali from me.


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## Bobw235

Wishing you and Shali nothing but the best, Phil. Glad you're on the mend and so sorry to hear that some have interfered in your privacy.


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## Falcon

Glad you're back with us Phil.  I have NEVER posted ANYTHING detrimental to your relationship

with Shalimar.  I consider you BOTH my friends and always will.

Waiting for you to get back here and post some of your posers for us to ponder.


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## jujube

OK, I'm totally lost....who has been posting bad things about Phil and Shali?  I haven't seen anything on here.  Why would someone do that?


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## tnthomas

Phil,

Glad to see you here, best wishes for you and Shalimar.


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## Ameriscot

Phil, I only have best wishes for you and Shali.  xx


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## Carla

Hi Phil. I'm a fairly newcomer here and have only a vague understanding of events. I do wish the best for you and Shalimar and hope you both return to good health very soon.


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## Kadee

Philly ,you would surly have admit it's all been very mysterious / odd ....DUNCAN who lives In DUNCAN .:shrug::shrug::shrug:.having access to Shali account ? If she is in a coma / life support  ..how did she pass that information / passwords ..UN ...onto DUNCAN to pass on messages to members of the forum ??? Any person with common sence would smell a "rat" 

There has been no mention of who is caring for Shali 'S elderly mother and her son ..

so don't be to hard on people who have doubted the information that's been passed on to caring / worried members 

It would have sounded more genuine if DUNCAN supplied the name of the hospital Shali was/ is and her close friends could have at least ,sent her  flowers / cards ...but that was obviously kept from her close friends as well .....we are ALL mature adults here on this forum ..and we xpericenced allot of ups and downs in our life ..usually by our age we can smell a rat a mile off .

.If the hospital had been mentioned after all any one can look up the name of hospitals in DUNCAN ..but only  those who know Shali real , name could contact her ...and from my personal experience ..my brother being in intensive care    Although 
not on life support ..it was limited to 1 family / close friend at a time 

Thankfully it's still a free speech world ..well it is in Australia ..so anyone is entitled to have an honest opinion ..without without having strips ripped off them ...THEN AGAIN ....


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## Warrigal

I would like to add my concern that something had gone wrong that has caused upset. Reading between the lines I get the sense that privacy was violated, not on this forum, but by a member of this forum. That is very regrettable and I believe further discussion around this issue is only rubbing salt into the wound. We should all now follow the maxim, 'least said, soonest mended.'

Phil, I am sorry for all that has happened, both the things that could have been avoided and those that could not. I wish you both healing of body, mind and spirit. You owe us nothing but remember that you are held in the hearts of many on this forum.
:grouphug:


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## fureverywhere

Philly, I'm so sorry somebody hurt you guys like that. Wishing you both a speedy recovery so that you can begin your lives together again.


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## BlunderWoman

A couple is two people. A couple is not two people and all the people on the internet. Both Phil and Shali have said they have found the love of their life. Both Phil and Shali have serious health problems at this present time. My opinion is to spend as much time together loving one another as you possibly can and help each other heal and just forget the internet. Both of you should be the most important person in each others lives right now. Forget about the internet crowd and just concentrate on each other. To hell with what anyone else is thinking and saying. To hell with what I'm thinking and saying.  If I had been lucky enough to find the love of my life again nobody around here would even see me posting here for a long time. I'd be so wrapped up in 'my new love'. Take care of your health situations and your people in your life love/family... My sentiments are that you both should just heal up ,mend up, and spend your time you have in love and happiness and healing your hearts and bodies. My advice is not to bring any third party into your relationship with you. In this case a third party would be the internet websites. Leave the websites out of your relationship. That is my advice because a couple is TWO people. I wish you health, love, and happiness.


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## Phoenix

Kadee46 said:


> Philly ,you would surly have admit it's all been very mysterious / odd ....DUNCAN who lives In DUNCAN .:shrug::shrug::shrug:.having access to Shali account ? If she is in a coma / life support  ..how did she pass that information / passwords ..UN ...onto DUNCAN to pass on messages to members of the forum ??? Any person with common sence would smell a "rat"
> 
> There has been no mention of who is caring for Shali 'S elderly mother and her son ..
> 
> so don't be to hard on people who have doubted the information that's been passed on to caring / worried members
> 
> It would have sounded more genuine if DUNCAN supplied the name of the hospital Shali was/ is and her close friends could have at least ,sent her  flowers / cards ...but that was obviously kept from her close friends as well .....we are ALL mature adults here on this forum ..and we xpericenced allot of ups and downs in our life ..usually by our age we can smell a rat a mile off .
> 
> .If the hospital had been mentioned after all any one can look up the name of hospitals in DUNCAN ..but only  those who know Shali real , name could contact her ...and from my personal experience ..my brother being in intensive care    Although
> not on life support ..it was limited to 1 family / close friend at a time
> 
> Thankfully it's still a free speech world ..well it is in Australia ..so anyone is entitled to have an honest opinion ..without without having strips ripped off them ...THEN AGAIN ....



What I'd like to know is what happened to you in your life to fill you with so much venom?  I find it really sad that you have attacked Duncan, Phil and Shali.  They are good souls, we are fortunate to have them in our lives.  I suggested you get down on your knees before the universe, and ask it to teach you kindness.


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## SifuPhil

Thank you all for your good wishes - again, both Shali and I appreciate it. It's why this forum will always be special to me, because of the kind-hearted friends we have here.



Kadee46 said:


> Philly ,you would surly have admit it's all been very mysterious / odd ....DUNCAN who lives In DUNCAN .:shrug::shrug::shrug:.having access to Shali account ? If she is in a coma / life support  ..how did she pass that information / passwords ..UN ...onto DUNCAN to pass on messages to members of the forum ??? Any person with common sence would smell a "rat"



Kadee, it isn't mysterious at all to me, but then, I'm not on the outside spinning fantastic tales and conspiracy theories. I have first-hand knowledge of what is and is not going on. 



> There has been no mention of who is caring for Shali 'S elderly mother and her son ..



Possibly because, oh, let's say, neither one _requires_ care? See what I mean when I say that drawing conclusions from erroneous data can be so misleading? 



> so don't be to hard on people who have doubted the information that's been passed on to caring / worried members



Doubt is one thing - it can easily be held close to the chest. But some don't seem capable of that - they need to elaborate and broadcast their theories to the world, and then go a step further with direct communication when such action has been clearly unwanted.



> It would have sounded more genuine if DUNCAN supplied the name of the hospital Shali was/ is and her close friends could have at least ,sent her  flowers / cards ...but that was obviously kept from her close friends as well .....we are ALL mature adults here on this forum ..and we xpericenced allot of ups and downs in our life ..usually by our age we can smell a rat a mile off .



Duncan did the right thing - he kept the information private. Any of that type of info would and should only be revealed upon direct request from the interested parties.

As for smelling rats - perhaps some ought to have their olfactory senses checked. 



> .If the hospital had been mentioned after all any one can look up the name of hospitals in DUNCAN ..but only  those who know Shali real , name could contact her ...and from my personal experience ..my brother being in intensive care    Although
> not on life support ..it was limited to 1 family / close friend at a time



So what is your point here? Canada has their own version of our HIPAA laws (known as PHIPA) but they serve the same purpose - the preservation of privacy. That includes refusing to reveal who is a patient except, as you said, to immediate family members. 



> Thankfully it's still a free speech world ..well it is in Australia ..so anyone is entitled to have an honest opinion ..without without having strips ripped off them ...THEN AGAIN ....



Then again ... an opinion can be held or expressed in a decent fashion. When it comes to the point of implying that there is some massive conspiracy theory taking place, that enters into a totally different world. 



And again, thank you all for your concern. Hopefully Shali and I will be back here sometime in the future.


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## Pinky

Sad to know that people are so ready to jump to negatives about other's lives when they are down.
Shali and Phil, just focus on one another, and heal.


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## Butterfly

Kadee46 said:


> Philly ,you would surly have admit it's all been very mysterious / odd ....DUNCAN who lives In DUNCAN .:shrug::shrug::shrug:.having access to Shali account ? If she is in a coma / life support  ..how did she pass that information / passwords ..UN ...onto DUNCAN to pass on messages to members of the forum ??? Any person with common sence would smell a "rat"
> 
> There has been no mention of who is caring for Shali 'S elderly mother and her son ..
> 
> 
> so don't be to hard on people who have doubted the information that's been passed on to caring / worried members
> 
> It would have sounded more genuine if DUNCAN supplied the name of the hospital Shali was/ is and her close friends could have at least ,sent her  flowers / cards ...but that was obviously kept from her close friends as well .....we are ALL mature adults here on this forum ..and we xpericenced allot of ups and downs in our life ..usually by our age we can smell a rat a mile off .
> 
> .If the hospital had been mentioned after all any one can look up the name of hospitals in DUNCAN ..but only  those who know Shali real , name could contact her ...and from my personal experience ..my brother being in intensive care    Although
> not on life support ..it was limited to 1 family / close friend at a time
> 
> Thankfully it's still a free speech world ..well it is in Australia ..so anyone is entitled to have an honest opinion ..without without having strips ripped off them ...THEN AGAIN ....



They DO NOT have the obligation to provide us with any information at  all, if they don't wish to.  There's been nothing mysterious or odd  about it -- Philly has been very ill and so has Shali.  How or if they  chose to communicate with us at all is none of our business.  Why in the  world would you "smell a rat" in their behavior?   Why would you even  look for "a rat?"  It is their private business, not ours, and they have  a right to keep information to themselves as they wish.

As to  the password thing -- that's just silly.  I don't even REMEMBER my own  password.  My computer is set up to recognize me and sign me in  automatically, perhaps hers is, too.  Who cares, anyway, and who cares  who Duncan is?  He kindly let us know how our friends were doing and I  thank him for that.  And why in the world should he/they share with us  who is caring for Shali's extended family?  Puh-leeze!!


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## Butterfly

SifuPhil said:


> Thank you all for your good wishes - again, both Shali and I appreciate it. It's why this forum will always be special to me, because of the kind-hearted friends we have here.
> 
> 
> 
> Kadee, it isn't mysterious at all to me, but then, I'm not on the outside spinning fantastic tales and conspiracy theories. I have first-hand knowledge of what is and is not going on.
> 
> 
> 
> Possibly because, oh, let's say, neither one _requires_ care? See what I mean when I say that drawing conclusions from erroneous data can be so misleading?
> 
> 
> 
> Doubt is one thing - it can easily be held close to the chest. But some don't seem capable of that - they need to elaborate and broadcast their theories to the world, and then go a step further with direct communication when such action has been clearly unwanted.
> 
> 
> 
> Duncan did the right thing - he kept the information private. Any of that type of info would and should only be revealed upon direct request from the interested parties.
> 
> As for smelling rats - perhaps some ought to have their olfactory senses checked.
> 
> 
> 
> So what is your point here? Canada has their own version of our HIPAA laws (known as PHIPA) but they serve the same purpose - the preservation of privacy. That includes refusing to reveal who is a patient except, as you said, to immediate family members.
> 
> 
> 
> Then again ... an opinion can be held or expressed in a decent fashion. When it comes to the point of implying that there is some massive conspiracy theory taking place, that enters into a totally different world.
> 
> 
> 
> And again, thank you all for your concern. Hopefully Shali and I will be back here sometime in the future.




Philly, please DO both of you stay in contact.  I, for one, have very much enjoyed interacting with both of you on this board.  Both of you are kind, bright, fun and funny people, and have added a lot to this community.  Please don't let one bad apple spoil it for the rest of us!

All the best to you both.  When's the wedding??


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## Cookie

Phil and Shalimar, so very glad that your both OK. There's not much that can be done about people talking or exchanging information, even forum to forum. Sad this happened to you and I hope you will be well.  Sending good wishes.


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## Ruth n Jersey

Hoping that you will both have a speedy recovery and have many good years ahead of you.


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## Kadee

typical ANSWERS .....NO OTHER MEMBER .... is entitled to express .....THEIR  OPINION .....
.AS I SAID ...
However I've expressed my feeling on the whole **** I rarely come to this forum ******..and have no intention of coming here in the future ..


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## Ruthanne

Hi Phil, as always, wishing you and Shali all the best.  I hope you'll come back and visit.


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## mitchezz

Kadee46 said:


> typical ANSWERS .....NO OTHER MEMBER .... is entitled to express .....THEIR  OPINION .....
> .AS I SAID ...
> However I've expressed my feeling on the whole **** I rarely come to this forum ******..and have no intention of coming here in the future ..




Don't let the door hit your bum on the way out. Bye!


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## SeaBreeze

This thread is closed.  Please contact SifuPhil or Shalimar privately, until they are healthy enough to start posting again on the board.  Allegations about members and other forums should be dealt with privately.  If there are any issues with a member of _this _forum, their offending PM can be reported to Admin for review.  Thank you.


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