# Marrying your cousin(?)



## grahamg (Aug 20, 2020)

A story came to mind earlier about a friend of my fathers, whose daughter married her first cousin some years ago, and they then had two children.

My dads friend had employed his nephew in his business, when his own son wasn't interested, and never thought a relationship might form with his beloved daughter. He was very irate about it at first, and told his daughter their children might suffer due to inbreeding, but all thankfully turned out fine in that respect. His nephew lost his job, but managed to set up his own business, and the marriage lasted about twenty years, so at least the children were raised before it broke up.

Now here is a funny thing, it was the daughter who broke up her marriage, and the "nephew/son in law", took it quite badly, and my dads mate was then in the strange position of supporting, or sticking up for him, against his own daughter!     .

There we are, a "tale of modern life perhaps",(though of course these sorts of things were recorded in the bible weren't they.   ?).


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## Rosemarie (Aug 20, 2020)

If the Bible is a record of actual events then, yes, it seems incest was quite normal. It was a way to ensure a familys genes were pure. The pharaohs married their sisters because they carried the gene from the Gods. (Now there's a subject worthy of discussion). The Incas of South America thought the same.


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## win231 (Aug 20, 2020)

"Well, no one in Wanker County is really outside the family...."


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## 911 (Aug 20, 2020)

In Pennsylvania, a person cannot marry their first cousin. I think, if I recall correctly, the issue is fear of having children born with mental illnesses.


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## Sassycakes (Aug 20, 2020)

*This thread reminded me of something that happened to me when I was in High School. A girl I was friendly with asked me if me and my boyfriend wanted to go on a double date with her and a boy she had just met. I said yes and we all went out.. Her date was a really good looking guy and was very nice,except he was a little too flirty with me. His name was Frankie. When I asked him where he lived and he told me I told him I had a cousin that lived there named Frankie.It turns out he was my Uncles Son from his second marriage. I can't imagine ever dating a cousin.*


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## jujube (Aug 20, 2020)

The old joke: "if you get divorced in Alabama, are you still cousins?"

One of the reasons there was so much hemophilia, insanity, and other genetically carried problems in the royal families of Europe was that they all had to marry other royalty. Unfortunately, all the other royalty were cousins, sometimes double cousins. After a while, you had such a concentration of bad genes, the results were catastrophic.

In an average family, first cousins marrying have very little likelihood of problems.


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## JaniceM (Aug 20, 2020)

I knew the laws varied from state to state:  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cousin_marriage_law_in_the_United_States


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## grahamg (Aug 20, 2020)

JaniceM said:


> I knew the laws varied from state to state:  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cousin_marriage_law_in_the_United_States


The one I found most amusing was the Arizona statute only allowing cousins over 65 years of age to marry, (or younger where one of cousins is infertile! ).


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## jerry old (Aug 20, 2020)

down among the ugly, they gott'a marry kin as ugly as they are-no one else will have 'um
you'll find a lot of them on Darwin's Awards

in-bred, out-bred, some folks will breed anything that can get a'holt of (there was a thread regarding folks enamored by critters)

I've always wanted to talk to a fella that divorced his wife to marry his mother-in-law
that is a class move

When this country was young, there was a lot of marrying 1st, 2nd cousins...
Relations were viewed as 'good mates,' we don't want no riff-raff sneaking into the family.'  Also, on the frontier 1781-1850, females were scarce'; if uncle Clem had a
daughter-why not?
Addendum: Cultures change, what was viewed as acceptable is now disgraceful: Egyptian Royalty and Romans married sisters, brothers...
Wasn't Caligula involved with his mother
Jerry lee Lewis married his first cousin-can't remember?

More Addendum: Janice M-goggle says a first cousin once-removed is your I'st cousin's dtr or son.
There is a Hill Billy Song "I'm my own grandpa"


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## JaniceM (Aug 20, 2020)

jerry old said:


> down among the ugly, they gott'a marry kin as ugly as they are-no one else will have 'um
> you'll find a lot of them on Darwin's Awards
> 
> in-bred, out-bred, some folks will breed anything that can get a'holt of (there was a thread regarding folks enamored by critters)
> ...


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myra_Gale_Brown
"First cousin once removed."  I'm not entirely sure what that means, even though the wiki does try to explain it.


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## hiraeth2018 (Aug 22, 2020)

Small towns...
At 18 (1970-71) I met and later married someone 5 years older than I. As we learned about each other it was discovered his mother was actually my aunt (she had married my mother's brother). This aunt by marriage had one daughter (first cousin), divorced and remarried and had one son (therefore he was not really related to me). 

Small towns...
music from the movie "Deliverance"


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## Lewkat (Aug 22, 2020)

JaniceM said:


> I knew the laws varied from state to state:  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cousin_marriage_law_in_the_United_States


The map show that NJ is legal for 1st cousins to marry, but not so.


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## Lewkat (Aug 22, 2020)

Lewkat said:


> The map show that NJ is legal for 1st cousins to marry, but not so.


OOPS!  My bad, I just rechecked that law and I am wrong.  I remember it was illegal at one time, but laws change and I don't pay attention.


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## hiraeth2018 (Aug 22, 2020)

Lewkat said:


> OOPS!  My bad, I just rechecked that law and I am wrong.  I remember it was illegal at one time, but laws change and I don't pay attention.



technically we were not blood related... only by marriage


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## jerry old (Aug 22, 2020)

"This is my cousin, wait-my wife.  Hold on, let me check?" 

"My mistake, I've married my mother-in-law.  Perfectly legal, might raise some
eyebrows but we love each other-mostly.

"My wife had a lot of property, marrying her
mommy made the legal stuff a lot easier.  I've loved her from afar
for a long time."
Did I mention I'm a lawyer?


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## Duster (Aug 23, 2020)

A pair of my mother's first cousins married each other.  This was in Indiana in the 1940's.  They a daughter who was mentally retarded.


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## Kayelle (Aug 23, 2020)

You might be a redneck if you go to the family reunion to pick up women. 
Jeff Foxworthy.


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## Keesha (Aug 25, 2020)

Yes small town mentality can be a tad scary.
In my husbands family, someone married their cousin. His great grandfather became a medical doctor simply by finding a medical book along the beach one day and poof! Instant doctor.
yep!


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## Keesha (Aug 25, 2020)

Duster said:


> A pair of my mother's first cousins married each other.  This was in Indiana in the 1940's.  They a daughter who was mentally retarded.


This is the sad part in marrying too close. A good enough reason why it shouldn’t be done in my opinion.


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## gennie (Aug 25, 2020)

jujube said:


> The old joke: "if you get divorced in Alabama, are you still cousins?"
> 
> One of the reasons there was so much hemophilia, insanity, and other genetically carried problems in the royal families of Europe was that they all had to marry other royalty. Unfortunately, all the other royalty were cousins, sometimes double cousins. After a while, you had such a concentration of bad genes, the results were catastrophic.
> 
> *In an average family, first cousins marrying have very little likelihood of problems.*


But it makes for a strange looking charted family tree.  A little skinnier than most. 

There is little likelihood unless they both carry the same problematic gene.  

I knew a couple of first cousins who married but it was a second marriage for both and she was well past her childbearing years. Lived out their lives together.


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## Aneeda72 (Aug 25, 2020)

Duster said:


> A pair of my mother's first cousins married each other.  This was in Indiana in the 1940's.  They a daughter who was mentally retarded.


Lots of people, who are not related, have mentally retarded children.


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## peppermint (Aug 25, 2020)

Years ago, my grandfather came to America with his family....He left his girlfriend back in Italy....When grandfather got a job at 19 years old
he had some money to go back to Italy to get his girlfriend (my grandma)...She was only 17 years old....OK, this is the story, don't know if it
is really true....They married in America....But they were cousins....I only knew this when I was married....And of course they passed away...
My Aunt's told me and my cousin about this.....So, my Mom always worried about the "geanes"....   She worried about my brother..That'si
another story....


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