# George Washington Was A Woman



## SifuPhil (Aug 23, 2015)

In line with a few of our more recent threads I thought I'd post this bit of historic intrigue.

Recent findings indicate that George Washington, the so-called "Father of Our Country" (applies only to those living in the U.S. - sorry, everyone else) may not have been of the masculine persuasion at all. 

Evidence presented by Huckleby and Smith of Middlebury University shows that "George" wore powdered wigs and frilly clothing, spoke in a high voice and constantly nagged "his" soldiers to "man-up and cross the #$^*@# river already".

Thoughts?


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## Warrigal (Aug 23, 2015)

And Good Queen Bess was actually a man.
Crazy mixed up world, eh?


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## QuickSilver (Aug 23, 2015)

I really don't believe it at all.


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## AZ Jim (Aug 23, 2015)

My uncle was a monkey too.


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## Debby (Aug 23, 2015)

Didn't everybody in any kind of authority position wear powdered wigs and frilly clothes at one time?


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## SifuPhil (Aug 23, 2015)

Debby said:


> Didn't everybody in any kind of authority position wear powdered wigs and frilly clothes at one time?



Yes, but by the time Nixon was doing it I think it was a bit cliche.


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## Grumpy Ol' Man (Aug 23, 2015)

I do believe the OP may have hit on something.  The depictions we see of George crossing the Deleware have him standing up in the boat telling the oarsmen... those driving... to slow down, speed up, go more left, go more right.  By golly!  I do believe George may have been someone's wife!!!!!


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## Shirley (Aug 23, 2015)

Maybe that's why he and Martha never had children.


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## AZ Jim (Aug 23, 2015)

Shirley said:


> Maybe that's why he and Martha never had children.



You mean "she" and Martha?


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## QuickSilver (Aug 23, 2015)

Hey.. have you ever seen  a pic of Martha?


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## SifuPhil (Aug 23, 2015)

Martha suffered from a form of mental illness in which she believed she was a peacock ...


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## tnthomas (Aug 23, 2015)

Grumpy Ol' Man said:


> I do believe the OP may have *hit *on something.



Yea, I think that Phil found his old bong and took a few hits on it.....ROFL


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## Shirley (Aug 23, 2015)

Phil hits his bong??????????


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## tnthomas (Aug 23, 2015)

Shirley said:


> Phil hits his bong??????????



Here is an example of an individual hitting a bong(instructional image, click "show"):



Spoiler


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## Shalimar (Aug 23, 2015)

I beg to differ Phil. This illustration clearly shows the poor woman identified herself as a lampshade.


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## RadishRose (Aug 23, 2015)

I am the reincarnation of Cleopatra, too. Lol


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## Shalimar (Aug 23, 2015)

Just out of curiosity, how many on this thread are currently seeking therapy, besides me of course? Lolololol.


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## Denise1952 (Aug 23, 2015)

I'm speechless Phil, but I offer this


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## SifuPhil (Aug 24, 2015)

Shalimar said:


> I beg to differ Phil. This illustration clearly shows the poor woman identified herself as a lampshade.



... or a huge garter ...


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## Shalimar (Aug 24, 2015)

You garter be right Phil!


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## SifuPhil (Aug 24, 2015)

Of course, there were also times she would stroll around with a jellyfish on her head ...


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## Shalimar (Aug 24, 2015)

Oh, I thought it was a toilet paper cover. Hmm.


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## QuickSilver (Aug 24, 2015)

Who covers toilet paper???


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## SifuPhil (Aug 24, 2015)

I don't think I've ever encountered a toilet paper cover. Why would one cover their toilet paper? It's either in the original wrapper or on the little holder-thingy.

Are there groups of people that go around being offended by the nakedness of an unwrapped, un-mounted roll of paper, rush home and knit little covers for them?


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## QuickSilver (Aug 24, 2015)

Sort of like making skirts to cover table legs.


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## SifuPhil (Aug 24, 2015)

Or those little paper panties for turkey legs ...


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## SifuPhil (Aug 24, 2015)

Sometimes Martha was known to grab a curtain panel and wrap it around her head, for those "_This? I just threw any old thing on_" days ...


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## Shalimar (Aug 24, 2015)

Guys. There really are toilet paper covers, put out by the Bathroom Police. Lest people dwell on the unseemingly act of defecation, self or otherwise, there are cute little crocheted doilies, some in the shape of dollies dontcha know, to cover it up. Shhhhh!


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## SifuPhil (Aug 24, 2015)




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## Shalimar (Aug 24, 2015)

Phil, you are not taking this seriously! Notice the noose-like wrap around Martha's neck. Clearly she was despondent. Wouldn't  you be over all those rude turkeys?


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## SifuPhil (Aug 24, 2015)

In case anyone is wondering how we got from George Washington's true gender to a freakish TP cover, well, I though SF was missing a good existentialist thread. :turnaround:


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## Shalimar (Aug 24, 2015)

Ah the electrocuted-owl-fez toilet paper cover. Fetching!


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## QuickSilver (Aug 24, 2015)

SifuPhil said:


> Sometimes Martha was known to grab a curtain panel and wrap it around her head, for those "_This? I just threw any old thing on_" days ...
> 
> View attachment 20721



This came to mind..


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## Shalimar (Aug 24, 2015)

Phil, I am embracing my inner stoic as we  speak.


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## Shalimar (Aug 24, 2015)

Carol Burnett! I saw that episode, too funny!


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## SifuPhil (Aug 24, 2015)

Shalimar said:


> Phil, you are not taking this seriously! Notice the noose-like wrap around Martha's neck. Clearly she was despondent. Wouldn't  you be over all those rude turkeys?



That's true - I feel bad for making light of what was clearly a case of suicidal ideation.

Understandable, really, since in her younger days she looked like this -


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## SifuPhil (Aug 24, 2015)

Shalimar said:


> Phil, I am embracing my inner stoic as we  speak.



I tried that once ...

His wife slapped me silly.


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## Shalimar (Aug 24, 2015)

Phil, hahahahha.


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## Shalimar (Aug 24, 2015)

When Martha was young, she wore snakes on her head? That explains a great deal


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## SifuPhil (Aug 24, 2015)

Shalimar said:


> When Martha was young, she wore snakes on her head? That explains a great deal



Her earlier fashion attempts were, shall we say, less than inspiring ...


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## Shalimar (Aug 24, 2015)

Is this what ultimately inspired Gorgonzola? Help, I am developing a paralysing fear of cheese.....


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## Meanderer (Aug 24, 2015)

SifuPhil said:


> Her earlier fashion attempts were, shall we say, less than inspiring ...
> 
> View attachment 20725


This is a different Martha...."It's a good thing"...Stewart!


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## SifuPhil (Aug 24, 2015)




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## SifuPhil (Aug 24, 2015)

Meanderer said:


> This is a different Martha...."It's a good thing"...Stewart!



Coming soon to a K-Mart near you!


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## Shalimar (Aug 24, 2015)

Thanks Meanderer, I thought the face was familiar.


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## Shalimar (Aug 24, 2015)

Phil, so cruel to cheese me when I'm down.


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## QuickSilver (Aug 24, 2015)

Poor Martha..... Stewart.....  Can't seem to stay out of trouble.


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## Meanderer (Aug 24, 2015)

*George Washington Was A Transgendered Female.
*
"George Washington was born "Kimberly Louise Washington" on the 11th February 1731, the daughter of Augustine Washington (1694–1743) and his second wife, Mary Ball Washington, a wealthy, well connected Colonial Virginia family who owned cannabis plantations in the deep south. Kimberly felt different from other children from an early age, and began to develop what was then termed as "unnatural feelings" for girls her own age at school. Convinced that she had been born into the wrong body, she quickly underwent gender reassignment surgery at the age of 15, and consequently changed her name to "George". She did this with the blessing of her mother, her father had a nervous breakdown".


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## Shalimar (Aug 24, 2015)

Meanderer, HaHaHaHa. I just spit coffee aaaalll over my Chinese housecoat! Lol.  Funniest post on the thread. Whoopy award goes to you!


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## Shalimar (Aug 24, 2015)

Cannabis plantations?? Say it isn't so! (fainting.)


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## SifuPhil (Aug 24, 2015)

See? SEE!?! I TOLD y'all!


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## SifuPhil (Aug 24, 2015)

Shalimar said:


> Cannabis plantations?? Say it isn't so! (fainting.)


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## QuickSilver (Aug 24, 2015)

IF HE is a woman....... he is one hellava ugly one.


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## Butterfly (Aug 24, 2015)

SifuPhil said:


> View attachment 20727



He DOES have that look in his eye, doesn't he -- kinda like an acquaintance of mine who shall remain nameless, and who does, on occasion, partake of certain recreational substances.


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## Shalimar (Aug 24, 2015)

Now I know the secret of his smile....is it just me, or is this smirk reminiscent of Mona Lisa's signature grin? Hmmm.


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## Ralphy1 (Aug 24, 2015)

Who said that he was ugly?  That is sexist no matter if he is Georgie or Georgie Girl...layful:


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## Davey Jones (Aug 24, 2015)

Ill have to ask Caitlyn Bruce Jenner what this is all about.


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## Denise1952 (Aug 24, 2015)

I sure hope I can find a cover for my TP, now that I know how 'portant they are:


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## QuickSilver (Aug 24, 2015)

I thought you meant TeePee...    ok...  now I get it..


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## Shalimar (Aug 24, 2015)

I am confused?????


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## AZ Jim (Aug 24, 2015)

Can you imagine the shoulders of their coats after a day under a powdered wig?  And stink!!! Oh Gawd!!!!


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## SifuPhil (Aug 24, 2015)

nwlady said:


> I sure hope I can find a cover for my TP, now that I know how 'portant they are:



There's a cover for that -


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## Pappy (Aug 24, 2015)

I once knew an Indian who loved to drink tea. In fact, he drank so much, he died in his own teepee.

And now, I return you to your regular program. :sentimental:


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## Debby (Aug 24, 2015)

I knew there was a reason I come to this forum so regularly Pappy!  Thank you so much for that!  A gem if ever there was one.


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## Pappy (Aug 24, 2015)

Thank you, Debby.  Two shows daily.


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## Denise1952 (Aug 24, 2015)

SifuPhil said:


> There's a cover for that -
> 
> View attachment 20743



Thanks Phil nice, color-appropriate too


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## Denise1952 (Aug 24, 2015)

AZ Jim said:


> Can you imagine the shoulders of their coats after a day under a powdered wig?  And stink!!! Oh Gawd!!!!



I think of the women's garb back in that day, way stinkie


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## tnthomas (Aug 24, 2015)

SifuPhil said:


> Sweet dreams are made of cheese
> Who am I to dis a Brie
> I cheddar the world and a Feta cheese
> Everybody's looking for Stilton



Somehow "Eurythmics" came to mind....


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## Shalimar (Aug 24, 2015)

You feta believe it tn?


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## Denise1952 (Aug 24, 2015)

tnthomas said:


> Somehow "Eurythmics" came to mind....



oh yeah, Annie Lennox  You are so right tnt


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## Pappy (Aug 25, 2015)

I guess he, George, didn't listen about his teeth.


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## SifuPhil (Aug 25, 2015)

Speaking of Annie ... she says her songwriting days are over. 

Didn't know she was a Scot!


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## Falcon (Aug 25, 2015)

I just hope I can get the roll out of its fancy-dancy  cover before it's too late.


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## SifuPhil (Aug 25, 2015)

Falcon said:


> I just hope I can get the roll out of its fancy-dancy  cover before it's too late.



Hopefully it's quick-clean polyester ...


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## Shalimar (Aug 25, 2015)

Can anyone say scatalogical fixation? HaHaHaHaHaHa.


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## AZ Jim (Aug 25, 2015)

Nope, ain't gonna do it....


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## Fern (Aug 25, 2015)

If you cast your mind back a few hundred years ago, the male attire consisted of wearing a wig, lace around the collar, or down the front of his shirt, jewellery, so George would be doing nothing that others hadn't done before him.


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## SifuPhil (Aug 25, 2015)

Shalimar said:


> Can anyone say scatalogical fixation? HaHaHaHaHaHa.



That's all behind us now ...


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