# Alone for Chirstmas?



## poetry360 (Nov 8, 2014)

If you will be alone for Chirstmas or know someone who will be here is a great site to follow with ideas for celebrating solo...
http://www.christmasolo.com


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## Justme (Nov 9, 2014)

Not all people who spend Christmas alone are unhappy about the prospect, some prefer it that way. I know two or three people who much prefer to be on their own and reject all offers of joining others for a Christmas meal.


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## Twixie (Nov 9, 2014)

Justme said:


> Not all people who spend Christmas alone are unhappy about the prospect, some prefer it that way. I know two or three people who much prefer to be on their own and reject all offers of joining others for a Christmas meal.



Yes..I am actually one of those people who prefer to be alone..I get offers from my sister every year...she has a lot of kids/grandchildren who play merry hell the whole day..I love them, but they are OK in small doses..

I feel trapped when I go there...you can't just shimmy off after a couple of hours...she starts the Christmas tea then..and thinks she has insulted you in some way..so you sit back down again..

This Christmas..I am going to tell her a pack of lies as to why I can't make it..

Then I am going to do dinner for the two of us..and afterwards we can do what we like..watch rubbish on the telly..go for an afternoon snooze...


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## Ameriscot (Nov 9, 2014)

The only time I've been completely alone on christmas day is 1999.  I made excuses to my family (in another state) why I wasn't coming up for xmas. They didn't know about my_ foreign _fiance yet.  I drove from TN to Myrtle Beach on xmas day, spent the night there and then drove up the next day to the condo we'd rented on Oak Island for a week.  Fiance came the 26th and I picked him up from the airport.  So I didn't mine being alone that day. Both of my sons knew what was up and I phone them both to wish them merry christmas.  

It was unusually warm that week and on new year's day 2000 it was 70F.


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## Justme (Nov 9, 2014)

Surely lying isn't the way forward, why not tell her you prefer your own company?


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## QuickSilver (Nov 9, 2014)

I was only alone once... and it wasn't Christmas.. It was Thanksgiving the year my Husband passed away.


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## Ameriscot (Nov 9, 2014)

QuickSilver said:


> I was only alone once... and it wasn't Christmas.. It was Thanksgiving the year my Husband passed away.



How sad.  

Thanksgiving is the holiday I miss since, of course, few know what it is over here.  It's Thanksgivings past that I miss, with all the people who have passed away.  I miss them on that day even more than on christmas day.

I only realized a couple of days ago that we'll be on a plane on thanksgiving day. Doubt we'll get turkey and stuffing. It's Emirates.


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## Twixie (Nov 9, 2014)

Justme said:


> Surely lying isn't the way forward, why not tell her you prefer your own company?



It will only be a teensy weensy lie..and besides telling her that you prefer your own company sounds a bit miserable, and she will take offense...


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## QuickSilver (Nov 9, 2014)

Ameriscot said:


> How sad.
> 
> Thanksgiving is the holiday I miss since, of course, few know what it is over here.  It's Thanksgivings past that I miss, with all the people who have passed away.  I miss them on that day even more than on christmas day.



I know what you mean... For me the Holidays are just something to get over with.  I'm always happy on January 2nd when it's all over and done with.   Everyone of my past Holidays are either dead or estranged.   I tried to get into spending the holidays with my Husbands extended family... his sisters and their families, but it was not the same.. it was depressing..  I just couldn't get into it.   Nothing wrong with them... they are wonderful people... they just aren't MY people.  

This year,  I am cooking for Thanksgiving.  MY husband, my two sons and my three grands will be with me.     Same for Christmas Eve.    However Hubby and I are on our own for Christmas Day..   We are planning to take in a Movie and eat dinner in Chinatown..  Kind of like in the family in Christmas Story.


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## rkunsaw (Nov 9, 2014)

Just my wife and me for all holidays for many years now. We went to my daughters one Thanksgiving several years ago and it was such a hassle. We usually have a bigger than normal meal but otherwise no different than any other day.


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## Ameriscot (Nov 9, 2014)

QuickSilver said:


> I know what you mean... For me the Holidays are just something to get over with.  I'm always happy on January 2nd when it's all over and done with.   Everyone of my past Holidays are either dead or estranged.   I tried to get into spending the holidays with my Husbands extended family... his sisters and their families, but it was not the same.. it was depressing..  I just couldn't get into it.   Nothing wrong with them... they are wonderful people... they just aren't MY people.
> 
> This year,  I am cooking for Thanksgiving.  MY husband, my two sons and my three grands will be with me.     Same for Christmas Eve.    However Hubby and I are on our own for Christmas Day..   We are planning to take in a Movie and eat dinner in Chinatown..  Kind of like in the family in Christmas Story.



That sounds good.  Holidays were nice with my siblings but they were never the same as when my parents were alive and my mom was still able to do all the cooking, etc.  My sister does not have a small house but it was/is fully packed at xmas with us, my son and his family (5), brother and his family (4), sister's 3 kids and their spouses and kids (10, now 11).  So when we still went there were 22.


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## Davey Jones (Nov 9, 2014)

My doc says "eat several small meals a day" so for the last few years at Thanksgiving I just have the pumpkin pie with a side of cranberry.......now thats being alone.


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## Pappy (Nov 9, 2014)

We will probably go up to Port Canaveal for their buffet at Ron Jons Resort hotel. We have gone there several times over the years and have never been disappointed.


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## ronaldj (Nov 9, 2014)

with the internet are we ever truly alone


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## AprilT (Nov 9, 2014)

I will likely spend Thanksgiving and Christmas reading and visiting sites on the net, my daughter lives far away and my best friend who used to come get me isn't able to do so due to immigration issues to suspended her drivers license.  Since my friend of 25+ years ran into immigration issues about two years ago, we spent nearly every holiday together these past few years, she'd come get me if I agreed on it, she's like my little sister, has lived here since she was 3 but that's a different issue.  Anyway, everyone else I know here is going out of town or just lives too far out of the way, so, I will find a way to not think on the days ahead.  I've not been fond of this time of year for well over a decade anyway, it's just something to get through.

My suggestions

If at all possible, spend part of the day volunteering somewhere, unfortunately for me, I don't drive, so this isn't possible, all public transit doesn't operate on this day and places to volunteer are quite far, but in years past, this was something I did and it was great got to spend time doing something nice and met some fantastic people.

Have a great supply of good reading material and movie rentals.  make sure the materials are uplifting not family themed or you'll end up focusing right back on your being by yourself.  LOL

Try not to spend much of this time focused on being alone, do something nice for yourself, take a bubble bath, do a in home spa day.  Think on all you do have to be grateful for and remember those that haven't anything close to the security of a roof over their head and a full belly, hmmm then again, that might bring tears to your eyes, maybe scrap that.  Maybe see if there's a Marx Brothers marathon on somewhere.  

If you suffer with depression seek out discussion forum for the subject matter, you'd be amazed how uplifting it could be to chat within the community where you may find others to relate to where people are pulling themselves up and out of their depression by talking with other supportive folks.  

Last but not least, if you feel the need to cry, cry the good cry and then let it go.  Nothing like a good cry to purge those pent up feelings it can feel so good after.


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## Justme (Nov 9, 2014)

I switch my computer off at lunchtime on Christmas Eve, and don't put it back on again until December 27th.


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## AprilT (Nov 9, 2014)

For a while I prefered to spend those days alone, I actually detested the commercialism, as I still do detest how people treat those days as just a big go for broke time of year, but, just in the past few years, I don't know, seems everything just gets so crammed into my face, I can't avoid the noise of it no matter how I've tried to avoid it.  I guess I'll just have to try harder to get back to a place where it no longer has an affect on me.  I look forward to that time.  I do abhor the season and what people have done to the spirit of the season is a true abomination.


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## SeaBreeze (Nov 9, 2014)

We don't make a fuss over the holidays, it's just the two of us, we might make a special dinner, but that's it.  I agree with April, the feel of Christmas has been ruined by all the commercialism, I don't care for the shallowness of the season anymore, or the traffic and excessive ads and TV commercials on where to spend your money. 

 As kids we just received a few gifts, and cherished them.  Nowadays, I've witnessed kids lining up their many gifts, only to rip them open and toss them to the side for the next one, and so on.  No real appreciation of the thought, the gift or the giver.  If my husband passes on in the future, I'd have no problem spending the holidays alone.  Missing the man I love would depress me, not being alone for Christmas.


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## pchrise (Nov 9, 2014)

Or view and sing this  
Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas  of one- Karen Carpenter - the Carpenters   




  Or smile to someone


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## ClassicRockr (Nov 9, 2014)

Wife and I haven't been around family during Christmas since moving away from them in 2002. Neither us or them, don't seem to have the finances to get together either where we live or where they live. We still enjoy Christmas with each other.

If my upcoming RC surgery happens before Christmas, we won't be putting up much, if any at all, décor, outside or inside, like we generally do. If I wait until the beginning of next year for the surgery, we will put up some décor, but probably not all of it. I don't think I'd be able to stretch my left arm up long enough to put up outside lights on the side of our roof.

When I was single, I didn't celebrate Christmas at all..........except for the party that a company I'd be working for would have. At home, no décor, no presents. Pretty much just plain BOREDOM!!

Since meeting my wife, that "boredom" for the holidays is all gone. And, I'm VERY grateful for that! 

As all of you can tell by some of my Threads and replies, I didn't do very good at being single/divorced. I hated being alone!


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## Denise1952 (Nov 9, 2014)

Twixie said:


> It will only be a teensy weensy lie..and besides telling her that you prefer your own company sounds a bit miserable, and she will take offense...



I think you're very unselfish Twixie, good for you


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## Denise1952 (Nov 9, 2014)

pchrise said:


> Or view and sing this
> Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas  of one- Karen Carpenter - the Carpenters
> 
> 
> ...



Good idea, and thank goodness there are still people doing just that  Merry, upcoming Christmas

Here's my tree and dingle-balls, well, the one I'm dreaming of


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## Don M. (Nov 9, 2014)

We hosted the Holidays for many years, but now that the kids are grown, it's their turns.  We usually have Thanksgiving at one of the daughters houses, then Christmas at the others place.  Then, they can straighten up their houses after 20+ people, spanning 4 generations, have a ball.  We will celebrate Christmas on the Sunday prior, this year, since Christmas falls on a Thursday, then on Christmas day, we will probably go up to the casino, and use some of our free offers for a meal, and some fun, at that place.


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## Denise1952 (Nov 9, 2014)

I didn't mention that I usually spend Christmas alone.  By choice, because it is hard to travel to any family because of weather etc.  Also, much of our family has disbursed you might say.  This year I will be at my sisters still, so we will make the best of it together.  I don't mind being alone, used to it but I think it's fun if I'm invited over for some christmas cheer at a friends.  But I look forward to going back to my pad.  I decorate, play old, christmas tunes, watch christmas movies and have my own, little "special" dinner

No children either, so I will spend some time here with others that may be alone  See what they're up to  I know my sis and I will be doing the same stuff, lol, reading, puzzles, games online, movies


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## Laurie (Nov 9, 2014)

Yes and looking forward to it.

I actually have a phobia about Christmas, I'm not so bad now, but when I was younger it could cause problems. 

I would start feeling uncomfortable around mid-November and the tension would slowly build to the mortal dread and the cold sweats, and the suicidal thoughts.

Luckily I got married before I actually got around to it which gave me an anchor on reality.  However. it's  still a pretty bad time, and I do need to focus on the Nativity for support.


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## pchrise (Nov 9, 2014)

nwlady said:


> I didn't mention that I usually spend Christmas alone.  By choice, because it is hard to travel to any family because of weather etc.  Also, much of our family has disbursed you might say.  This year I will be at my sisters still, so we will make the best of it together.  I don't mind being alone, used to it but I think it's fun if I'm invited over for some christmas cheer at a friends.  But I look forward to going back to my pad.  I decorate, play old, christmas tunes, watch christmas movies and have my own, little "special" dinner
> 
> No children either, so I will spend some time here with others that may be alone  See what they're up to  I know my sis and I will be doing the same stuff, lol, reading, puzzles, games online, movies


  Good for you i will be with medical types, so cant be on here . either way enjoy


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## Denise1952 (Nov 9, 2014)

my contribution to your gathering It's a cake, although couldn't find a real christmasy one, LOL!!


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## AprilT (Nov 9, 2014)

nwlady said:


> I didn't mention that I usually spend Christmas alone.  By choice, because it is hard to travel to any family because of weather etc.  Also, much of our family has disbursed you might say.  This year I will be at my sisters still, so we will make the best of it together.  I don't mind being alone, used to it but I think it's fun if I'm invited over for some christmas cheer at a friends.  But I look forward to going back to my pad.  I decorate, play old, christmas tunes, watch christmas movies and have my own, little "special" dinner
> 
> 
> 
> No children either, so I will spend some time here with others that may be alone  See what they're up to  I know my sis and I will be doing the same stuff, lol, reading, puzzles, games online, movies



Your's sounds wonderful to me, I would give anything to be spending the holiday with one of my sisters, my daughter would have sent for me, but, that would be the last place I would want to be for the holidays.  When I think back on last year, I had a lovely day, watching movies and reading and ever so often having some great laughs chatting with online friends.  It really wasn't so bad.  I think the worst time is actually the in between leading up to the day, all the constant commercials and people constantly asking you what you are doing for the days.  I'm not usually bothered until I'm bothered by others forcing their ideas about what and how I should be feeling about the season.  I would hate to have to resort to my alter ego :daz:and just cause people to have to pick up their bottom lip and not want to talk to me ever again.  I know people mean well, but, leave me out of it, it just reminds me that the people I love most are dead; that's what the holidays remind me of, so, I would like to not think on the season much at or at all.


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## shedevil7953 (Nov 9, 2014)

I can agree with all of you.  As I've gotten older, I have little patience for the holidays.  I don't enjoy baking, so that's out lol.  Haven't put the big tree and decorations up in a few years.  Just have a 3' tree on an end table with the wreath on the door and that's it.  I do still enjoy the holiday music and some of the TV shows, movies.  We'll see the stepson and DIL, kids probably the weekend after Christmas.  That's another thing I've never gotten used to... celebrating the holidays not on the holiday.  When my parents were alive, we still got together on Christmas Eve.  I realize modern families are so busy and you can't see everyone on the actual day, but it doesn't seem like Thanksgiving or Christmas to me.  I'm sure I'll be on here Christmas Eve or Christmas Day sometime, maybe both lol!


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## Denise1952 (Nov 9, 2014)

shedevil7953 said:


> I can agree with all of you.  As I've gotten older, I have little patience for the holidays.  I don't enjoy baking, so that's out lol.  Haven't put the big tree and decorations up in a few years.  Just have a 3' tree on an end table with the wreath on the door and that's it.  I do still enjoy the holiday music and some of the TV shows, movies.  We'll see the stepson and DIL, kids probably the weekend after Christmas.  That's another thing I've never gotten used to... celebrating the holidays not on the holiday.  When my parents were alive, we still got together on Christmas Eve.  I realize modern families are so busy and you can't see everyone on the actual day, but it doesn't seem like Thanksgiving or Christmas to me.  I'm sure I'll be on here Christmas Eve or Christmas Day sometime, maybe both lol!



I miss the old christmases, wonderful memories growing up, all the family came, my brother got home from the service.  In those days it was always a surprise whoever showed up.  Mom wouldn't tell us everyone that was coming, and it was so special to see their car pull up in the driveway.  I suppose to be honest, I'd rather be alone with my memories then try somehow to recapture things long past  I'm not all gloom and doom though, I make it special for myself with good foods/goodies, good movies, and things are fine.  I too have a tiny "fake" tree, and a few other little things


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## pchrise (Nov 10, 2014)

nwlady said:


> Good idea, and thank goodness there are still people doing just that  Merry, upcoming Christmas
> 
> Here's my tree and dingle-balls, well, the one I'm dreaming of



*While I'm at it there is always a s tation that has season music with a fireplace going. Pick up a fewthings from whole foods and you have the holiday thing fixed.   
*     [h=1]3 Hours of Christmas music with Fireplace[/h]




or if you wish
[h=1]Ambient Fireplace with Jazz & Classical Christmas Music Favorites (2 hrs)[/h]






     [h=1][/h]


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## Denise1952 (Nov 10, 2014)

Oh the Christmas music for sure, thanks so much!!  I forgot about these deals, but yes, we also have some music channels on the tube, or of course online Denise

one of my faves


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## pchrise (Nov 10, 2014)

[h=1]Christmas Secrets - Enya[/h]


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## Denise1952 (Nov 10, 2014)

Wow, the song was lovely (love Enya) and the video was gorgeous, thank you pchrise!


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## Kitties (Nov 10, 2014)

We never had christmas in my house growing up. I felt bad for my step dad as his family always had very large gatherings. But my mother isolated him from his family by and by. And I guess he let her do it.

I just checked my schedule. I work christmas but luckily I'm off the two days before. We always have too many visitors we never see all year doing their visits the few days before.

As far as gifts, I send money and something small to my nieces and I still have to find something for my best friend to mail. Can't come up with anything yet. And that's it.


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## AprilT (Nov 10, 2014)

pchrise said:


> *Christmas Secrets - Enya*



Enya, makes everything seem more beautiful.  It's been a long time since I spent the day listening to her music, I need to get back to it.  This is one of cd's I don't own, but this piece is lovely.  I always found most of her music soothing one disc in particular, I would play to lull me into sweet dreams.    Speaking of which, just back home from medical procedure and I better go hit the bed, might as well throw on some Enya if I can keep my mind straight enough to pick the right disc.  LOL


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## pchrise (Nov 10, 2014)

nwlady said:


> Wow, the song was lovely (love Enya) and the video was gorgeous, thank you pchrise!



*I found it last summer Love all her songs.*


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## Oceana (Nov 10, 2014)

I have a "Crackling Fire" app for my phone - so can "fire up" (excuse the pun) any time I want and feel Christmas-y. I was a Christmas day baby so double the fun!


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