# My baby girl, Belle *don't read if emotional scars make you avert your eyes*



## BDBoop (May 22, 2014)

Just before I woke up, I dreamed of Belle. Of course I haven't seen her since August, 2008. August 1st. I didn't say good-bye, it hurt too much just losing my entire life as I knew it. I had asked Tim about the girls, when or if I would see them, and he said he didn't know. Of course, he was moving another woman into my side of the bed. Of course I'd never see the girls again.

My stepdaughter promised, when she moved to Ohio. She promised she'd tell me when Belle passed. Only she didn't. I had to ask, and finally she said no, Belle passed three-four months ago.

I just woke from dreaming Belle was still alive. I went in the next room, and there she was, under the covers. So I brought her back into my room, and tucked her into the next bed over. I didn't wake up crying. I didn't cry til now.


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## i_am_Lois (May 22, 2014)

I'm sorry for all the grief you continue to suffer. Your wounds are deep. 

I wish I could give you a hug right now, but all I can't manage that from my computer.
My thoughts are with you.
Please take care. :rose:


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## SeaBreeze (May 22, 2014)

Sorry about your Belle, BDBoop, I've had similar dreams...tough once you realize you were only dreaming (and wishing)....my condolences. :girl_hug:


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## BDBoop (May 22, 2014)

Thank you. I haven't dreamed about her in a very long time - the funny part of all that is, I only mourned the death of my marriage for maybe 9-12 months. It was still maybe a year after that before I made it through an entire dog park visit without misting over if not actually sobbing at least once.

Good grief, I'm misting again. Well, as long as I don't stay in the sad place. Gotta hurt to heal.


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