# An On Going Journey In Texas



## Ina (Dec 4, 2014)

Today I turned 63.  I think of it as another brownie point recieved.  The world seem brighter with each passing year.  With each passing year, I let go of some responsibility.  The ease that comes is a welcome relief.

Today, Mike and I will be going out for a late lunch.  We went to Denny's a week ago, and I realized we had not been out for more than 18 months.  That is too long sticking to the daily grind.  

I have decided that this next year calls for a much lighter attitude, and hopefully the coming year will bring happier days to me and mine.  i want to laugh, play, and in general look and find the brighter side of life.

So my plan this next year, is to have less planing, and more spontaneity. :lofl:


----------



## Jackie22 (Dec 4, 2014)

Happy Birthday, Ina, may you have many bright days ahead.


----------



## NancyNGA (Dec 4, 2014)

Happy Birthday. Ina!


----------



## SifuPhil (Dec 4, 2014)

Happy birthday, Ina - may ye have fair winds 'n' followin' seas! irate:


----------



## Vivjen (Dec 4, 2014)

Ina; I thought you had vanished!
very happy birthday to you; and here's to many more, with lots of spontaneity!


----------



## Pappy (Dec 4, 2014)

Happy Birthday, Ina.layful:


----------



## Mrs. Robinson (Dec 4, 2014)

Happy Birthday,Ina!! I really like your plan for the coming year. Enjoy!!


----------



## Ina (Dec 4, 2014)

Thank you for the birthday wishes Jackie, Nancy, Pil my favorite pirate, Vivjen, Pappy, and Mrs. Robisnon.  You guys keep me company daily, even if I don't post as much.  Thank you all for pulling/dragging me through this year.
:grin::fingerscrossed::bighug::thankyou:


----------



## SeaBreeze (Dec 4, 2014)

Happy Birthday Ina! Hope you enjoy a wonderful day with your hubby! I absolutely love your decision to break free from the daily routine, and bring some more light-hearted fun into your life.  You so well deserve it!  :glitter-heart:


----------



## Falcon (Dec 4, 2014)

Happy Birthday  Ina. Make it a good one.


----------



## AprilT (Dec 4, 2014)

Happy Birthday Ina, You have a great attitude for the future, it should serve you and yours quite well into the new year and beyond.  :birthday:


----------



## hollydolly (Dec 4, 2014)

*Happy Birthday Ina, I hope you're having a lovely day...:happybday:







*


----------



## jujube (Dec 4, 2014)

Happy Birthday, Ina!


----------



## Meanderer (Dec 4, 2014)

Good to hear from you Ina!  Happy Birthday, and many more spontaneous days ahead for you and Mike!


----------



## Susie (Dec 6, 2014)

Happy Birthday, Ina!!!
You're still a youngster in my eyes, the very best years of your life still ahead of you!!! Have fun, enjoy life!

nthego:


----------



## Ameriscot (Dec 7, 2014)

Belated Happy Birthday, Ina!


----------



## Ina (Dec 7, 2014)

I was really surprised at all the birthday wishes I received.  I am so grateful for all the friends that I have made.  The friendships I have made this year have shown me the findness of my fellowman.  

Sunday is a day of rest, so I'm gonna do just that.  It is a good day to visit my diary, and bring it up to date.  I have never kepted a diary before, so this will be a welcome outlet.  I have sat down, and written of my thoughts before, but they always seemed to get lost, and I would forget about the things I put on paper.  This I can come back to.

Yesterday my neighborhood had it's first community civic meeting.  Our group has started off with about 1/3 of the homes in our small bit of paradise.  The post office lists 90 homes in our community.  We have never had anykind of organization, and we are attached to no town or city.  But, the city and a town surround us.  Each family has anywhere from 5 acers to 30.  We have private wells and septic systems, and only recently have we contracted a trash service.  There is only one road into or out of the area.  I got to name our neighborhood.  It is to be Drysdale's Forrest Acers.

Most of our families have been here for more than 30 years, and some have been here for generations.  My family has been here since the mid 80's.  We live in a very old 2000 sq log cabin.

I am to be treasurer.  Each of us has promised to bring whatever occupational talents we have to benefit our community.  We even have a policeman, lawyer, and a least four reverends.  So yesterday's meeting showed promise of a good beginning in  a charitable future for our neighborhood...


----------



## Vivjen (Dec 7, 2014)

Sounds good, Ina.
meet the neighbours, use your skills....brill!


----------



## Meanderer (Dec 7, 2014)

..one policeman per lawyer sounds about right Ina.  (Kidding!)


----------



## Denise1952 (Dec 7, 2014)

Wow, I am so with you on that Ina, funny but my plans include truly working at being happy, enjoying as much as I can.  I have big plans, exciting plans and am putting things together now.  All I'll say at this point is that I am planning to move to my "forever" home, lol!  Through the kindness of good friends, I have found a spot that seems right up my alley.  

I am happy to hear of your plan as well Ina.  We are older now, but there is a lot we can do to enjoy our lives, huge hugs for you and yours Denise


----------



## SeaBreeze (Dec 7, 2014)

That sounds great Ina, nice that you can be active and use your skills as treasurer too.  Cool you got to pick out the name!


----------



## Meanderer (Dec 7, 2014)

Someone made the statement "All politics are local".  I can't imagine not being part of a City or municipality.  Your plans to be active in your neighbor's efforts to organize and work together sounds like an opportunity, as well as a challenge.  Ina, you have a store of wisdom and common sense in you, and they will serve you well.  Keep us posted!


----------



## Ina (Dec 7, 2014)

Jim, he's not a rich lawyer, so we'll have to do some reseach concerning his advice just to be on the safe side. :lofl:  I'm going to see if we can get someone with a sense of humour to do our monthly news letter.  Maybe that will help us not to get too big for our britches.  :wave:


----------



## Meanderer (Dec 8, 2014)

Ina, if you are looking for a name to your newsletter, how about "Drysdale's Dregs"?


----------



## Ina (Dec 8, 2014)

Hi Jim,
That is a catchy title.  I suggest it at our next meeting. :thankyou:


----------



## Prairie dog (Dec 8, 2014)

Happy Birthday Ina..best wishes for your new adventures.


----------



## Ina (Dec 11, 2014)

Today I got my second keypad for my iPad. The first one came apart at the hinge.  So I'm ready to write.


----------



## Ina (Dec 11, 2014)

Opps!   New keypad remember.

I started my week by taking Mike to the VA on Monday and Wednesday.  They have run so many test on him, nand there are more come.  So far they have said that Mike has already had a heart attack, and a previous stroke to the October one. I just wonder how he could have had both of those without knowing about it at the time. But I know that he is getting better. Even his COPD seems to be better. I do love that man.

Today was my day of rest, after I cleaned the house, did the laundry, and mopped 2000 sq. feet of hardwood floors. Now my body is telling me off big time.  My spine is is on lock down.

I've been doing quite a bit of studying lately about vitamins, word processors, ( They've changed a bit in the last seven years.), and this new iPad.  I'm also trying to get Mike interested in a new iPad or like item, instead of another desktop computer.

I put up a small Cristmas tree and decorations to get us into the spirit of the holiday.  I also put up all five Cristmas stockings as decoration. They were for my three step daughters, and my two deceased sons, when they were children.  They bring good memories for me.

Mike and I've decided that since this this will be our first Christmas by ourselves in 47 years, we will have steak, lobster, my baby sautéed greens for our holiday feast.


----------



## drifter (Dec 14, 2014)

I hope you had a wonderful birthday, Ina, and next year brings you better times.


----------



## SeaBreeze (Dec 14, 2014)

I wish the best for Mike, he may have had those small TIA strokes that are sometimes hard to notice, my mother in law had several of them.  Good that you're studying up on vitamins Ina, I'm a big fan of supplements myself.  Nice that you're decorating and have put up a tree too, to make it as nice as possible for the both of you this year. Steak, lobster and sautéed greens sounds wonderful for a holiday meal!


----------



## Meanderer (Dec 18, 2014)

Hi Ina!  I enjoy reading your diary entries, and your plans for Christmas dinner sound delicious!  Hope you and Mike have a great celebration together!


----------



## Ina (Dec 31, 2014)

Today is the firat day without my hucband of 47 years. He left me behind yesterday at 5:00pm.  I thought I would loose my mind, and this morning I find that I wasn't to be that blessed.  I don't know how to contain this pain.  I can't seem to stop my tears.  

Dear God, how do I go on without the man I so love?


----------



## Pappy (Dec 31, 2014)

My dear Ina. I feel so bad for you. I can't begin to imagine how you feel. Please accept my condolences.  Pappy


----------



## Meanderer (Dec 31, 2014)

Dear Ina, I am sorry to hear of your loss of Mike.  We are asking God to give you the strength and comfort you need for each new day. Jim


----------



## SeaBreeze (Dec 31, 2014)

Ina, I can't imagine the heartache you're going through.  I'm so sorry that Michael has passed, may he rest peacefully.  Thoughts, prayers and love are with you during this time.  Hugs. :rose:


----------



## Mrs. Robinson (Dec 31, 2014)

Ina-please know that there are so many holding you in their hearts right now. Wes and I have also been married for 47 years, and to be where you are right now is the most painful thing I can imagine. Please take care of yourself. You will be in my prayers every day.


----------



## AprilT (Dec 31, 2014)

Ina, no words I have to say will quell your heartache, but, I want you to know, like so many here feel, you are in my heart and thoughts; you seem to me to be such a special sweet soul and I hope you take comfort in knowing you have had the love of a man most could only ever hope to be touched by.

Hugs to you dear sweet lady.


----------



## Ina (Jan 1, 2015)

I want to thank Pappy/Minion, Drifter/Hawkeye, Meanderer, Sea, Mrs. Robinson,  Rkansaw,  Holly,  Denise, AprilT, and all of my friends at SF. Thank  you for the support you have unselfishly given me.

I also wish to thank the person who thought of this diary forum. 

Today is my second day by myself in our cabin, and this is by my own choice.  If I don't talk to anyone else, I can still pretend he is here for awhile.  

I thought that loosing my two sons was the worst pain, but I was wrong.  Loosing my Michael is far worse. If I can get to where my tears stop, maybe I can survive. Nothing Will ever hurt me as this does.


----------



## Ken N Tx (Jan 1, 2015)

Sorry to hear of your loss.


----------



## AprilT (Jan 1, 2015)

In case you stop in here again, just want you to know you are in my thoughts and I understand the need for solace, we will be here for you when and if you need to talk.  No need to address me or anyone else again till you're at a place you just want to.  

Heal as best you are able to sweet lady, take your time, do what you need to do.  

Hugs


----------



## Ameriscot (Jan 1, 2015)

Ina, you are in my thoughts and prayers. Big hugs xx


----------



## Warrigal (Jan 1, 2015)

Hold on Ina. 

Hold on tight to the love that you have shared with Michael and be very aware that there are others who love you today, some of us from very far away.
In your cabin you are definitely not alone as long as you are upheld by love.

:bighug:


----------



## Ina (Jan 2, 2015)

Today I must break my silence.  I will be leaving our cabin so that I can take care of Michael's funeral arraignments. 

I have not talked to anyone since 9:00pm Tuesday.  So I guess I must join the living again.

I am so numb, but I guess that is part of of God's grace.


----------



## jujube (Jan 2, 2015)

Ina, you're in my heart and prayers.  I can only say that every day, you will be able to take one more step.  Just be good to yourself and let yourself go at your own pace.  And, most important, accept the help that people offer to you.  It is a blessing to then, too, to have something to take care of.   I remember wanting to do everything myself, but once I let go, it was so much easier.


----------



## SeaBreeze (Jan 2, 2015)

Remember you're not alone Ina, many of us are with you in spirit, including your Michael.  Glad to hear you're getting out and taking care of things that need your attention.  Hope your doggies are doing okay, many times they sense our sadness too, give them a hug for me.


----------



## Happyflowerlady (Jan 2, 2015)

Seabreeze is so right about the dogs , Ina. They may not know exactly what happened, but they do know that you are alone, and hurting, and they will want to comfort you. 
Especially little Izzy, he is used to being right beside you. a dog is a wonderful comfort to tell all of your sorrow to. I have walked and cried and let my heart and tears just come out when I didn't want a person there (except the one that was gone), and it always helped me to cope. 
Besides, they need you right now, too.

Another thing that you won't feel like doing much, but do need to do, is eat something. It is important to keep your body going right now, Ina.   
There is even more stress than usual on your body at this time.
 Often, our body's defense system will just turn off hunger, so don't  wait until you feel hungry. Just eat when you know you should eat, no matter if you want to or not.


----------



## Meanderer (Jan 3, 2015)

Hello Ina, hope you are having a better day today! - Jim


----------



## Ina (Jan 3, 2015)

Well, The Creator decided To give me another day, and the world is still just outside my window.  At least the day is rainy, dark, and oh so cold, which is very much the way I feel right now.

I spent much of yesterday at the funeral home getting things in motion for my Michael.  He was an organ donor, and he is to be cremated, so there will not be a viewing.  But there is to be a memorial service.  Michael .was a Marine, and had asked for a military service, but they have cut back on so many veteran services, and that is one of them, unless he was to be buried in  military grounds.  They do still provide a flag, and I will be purchasing a shadow box for it.

I wonder about the human race's ability to ignore a person while alive, but they still expect a memorial service.  It is the last physical thing I can do for my lifelong companion.  I do dread the day when there is no more I can do for him.  Michael did make my life worth living.  Today is the fourth day without him. 

On one hand, I wish I could stop thinking about everything, but on the other hand, I dread the day when I don't.


----------



## rkunsaw (Jan 4, 2015)

I can only imagine how you feel Ina. I'm sure the pain will ease in time but it will always be there. Memories are good things and you will always have them too.


----------



## Vivjen (Jan 4, 2015)

My heart bleeds for you Ina......just keep going; it is all you can do..


----------



## hollydolly (Jan 4, 2015)

Oh Ina, it's a very odd human trait..you never see people from one month to the next, or maybe one year to another, yet when a person dies, everyone demands that they are given the right to a big send off regardless of the strain or stress it may be for the loved ones left behind.

Just try and remember that these people loved Michael and you in their own way and this is the only way they can show it...let them have their goodbyes now, and let those who are your immediate family and support network concentrate on you ...and you will get through honey, you really will.


----------



## Jackie22 (Jan 4, 2015)

Ina, my thoughts are with you, big big hug this morning.  I'm recalling when this happened to me four years ago, the thing that helped me more than anything was to stay busy.  The pain will always be there but it does get less painful with time, as Vivjen said, just keep going and take very good care of yourself.


----------



## SeaBreeze (Jan 4, 2015)

Sending you lots of warm thoughts and love today Ina. :glittered:


----------



## Meanderer (Jan 4, 2015)

Ina said:


> Well, The Creator decided To give me another day, and the world is still just outside my window.  At least the day is rainy, dark, and oh so cold, which is very much the way I feel right now.
> 
> I spent much of yesterday at the funeral home getting things in motion for my Michael.  He was an organ donor, and he is to be cremated, so there will not be a viewing.  But there is to be a memorial service.  Michael .was a Marine, and had asked for a military service, but they have cut back on so many veteran services, and that is one of them, unless he was to be buried in  military grounds.  They do still provide a flag, and I will be purchasing a shadow box for it.
> 
> ...



Ina, maybe a member from a local veteran's group could attend the service and participate in some way?  You are stronger than you think.  You will get through it all.  - Jim


----------



## drifter (Jan 5, 2015)

You are on my mind and I wish you well.


----------



## Ina (Jan 5, 2015)

Hello diary,

I was feeling wierd, so I went to the Dr. this morning. My blood presure was up pretty hing, 196/120. He gave me something to help bring it down.

Michael's memorial is set for 2:00pm on the Jan. 14th.
We are still waiting for the Dr. to sign off on the death certificate.

Thank you Jim for you advice, It seems VA might send two Marines out for the memorial.

I guess I'm at the point that I'm just deeply sad.

I found Michael hand written will.  We talked a lot about what we wanted done with our personal belongings, and I guess he made a list so I didn't have to remember it all.

He left our tracktor, gasoline generator/welder with trailer, the closed 10 x 12 trailer, the new heavy duty zero turn lawn mower with a flat bed trailer, and two heavy duty gasoline weed eaters with electric starters, several long folding tabels with 30 folding chairs, to the newly orgonized  Neighborhood center.  Of course they were happy to get the stuff, and then they enformed me that the center will be doing my yard work for as long as I need it.

He was such a thoughtful man.


----------



## Ina (Jan 6, 2015)

So many decisions to make. My Michael loved for me to wear white or pastel colors. I told our neighbor and paster this, and he said I needed to wear something dark. I did have a dark brown dress that I have never worn, but when I went to look for it, I could not find it anywhere. So I was going to have to buy something. Then my pastor's wife told her husband that if I wanted to wear white to honor my Michael, then he needed to back down. So I will be wearing a white dress at his memorial service.

I don't think my Creator will mind.


----------



## Vivjen (Jan 6, 2015)

I am sure he won't Ina; I wore a black dress with a bright yellow jacket to Viv's; whatever you feel most comfortable in....


----------



## AZ Jim (Jan 6, 2015)

Have a Happy Birthday and a great 63rd year ahead.


----------



## AprilT (Jan 6, 2015)

Go with your heart and honor Michael by wearing what he loved seeing you in, you are doing the right thing.


----------



## Ina (Jan 6, 2015)

Thank you Vivjen and April,
 It does make me feel better to hear both of you saying to honor Michael's memory. He never asked much of me, but he did request that I wear white or light pastels way back in the 60's. 

When my mind tries to overwhelm me, I do come to SF to relieve my anxiety for a little while.  I might not post much for awhile, but I do see many days alone ahead of me, so I'll try to catch up on everyone then.  I wish to thank all of you  for  being here for me.  :wave:


----------



## Vivjen (Jan 6, 2015)

Just remember; no more than 2 phone calls a day; don't forget to eat at least one meal a day; any offer of help that you get; accept....you need and deserve it.


----------



## Mrs. Robinson (Jan 6, 2015)

God Bless Michael for being so generous as to leave those things to a worthy group-and God Bless them for making sure that your yard is taken care of. This is how our world is supposed to work.

Wear whatever you feel best in-and it sounds like wearing white or a pastel is what Michael would have wanted. I`m sure it is somewhat regional,but here in California,it is becoming less and less common for people to wear all black or dark colors. Actually,even "funeral services" are pretty much being replaced by "Celebrations of Life". I like that-no matter how devastating losing a loved one is,it`s wonderful to celebrate their lives and the fact that we had them in our lives for whatever time we had.

Big (((HUGS))) to you,Ina.


----------



## Meanderer (Jan 6, 2015)

Hi Ina, sounds like you and Mike have talked this all out before.  You will find peace in making every decision you come to.  Personally I think you shouldn't skip too many meals. Try to have some quite time with Ina.  - Jim


----------



## SeaBreeze (Jan 6, 2015)

There's no rules Ina, wear the palest pastel or white, whatever you and Michael would have liked.  Take good care of yourself now, and love yourself, I'm sure that's what your hubby would have wanted.  I agree with Meanderer, some 'me' time is deserved and needed.  Love and hugs. :love_heart:


----------



## Butterfly (Jan 8, 2015)

Ina, my heart aches for you.  Even though I'm fairly new on this forum and didn't know you well, I am so sorry for what you are going through -- such a devastating blow.  You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.  Please do try to eat, even when you don't want to, and lean on friends and family during this so painful time.


----------



## Ina (Jan 9, 2015)

Well I'm finally getting thing under control. Michael's memorial service is set for Wednesday the 14th, at 2:00pm. He was a Life Gift doner, and his VA doctor has not signed off on his death certificate yet. But I'm in no hurry, I'm still talking to him.  

I was going crazy because his phone was beeping at me every five minutes.  It would jar me awake two or three times a night.  He had been arguing with AT&T for the last three months because our bill was way over the normal $85.00.  I went to an AT&T distributor, and showed them our last three bills, and asked them why.  A sweet young woman helped me for over an hour, and I recieved a $550. refund, and my bill is back at $85. I had thought I broke Michael's phone trying to work it, but she said the phone had died on the same day he did. I sure wish he would call me.  Why else take his phone with him? 

When I left AT&T I went next door to the Starbucks, and I purchased the young lady's next five mocca, carmel, and whipped cream coffee.  She deserved it for the way she argued my case with billing department. Hope she doesn't gain too much weight from those super sweet drinks.

I told a neighbor that I would be selling the four bedroom, two bath, two car garage house, next door to me. She brought her son and his family over to see if I was willing to sell it. It is in my name, and I want to keep this old log cabin, since it is our home, and it is paid for.  There is a two story 7500x500 metal barn, and a 10x14 hen house on the property I am going to sell.
I sure hope they buy it.


----------



## SeaBreeze (Jan 9, 2015)

Sounds like you're taking care of business Ina, I admire you for handling all these details and problems on your own.  Great that you were reimbursed by AT&T, nice to get that straightened out and get a refund, good for you!  I'll be thinking of you next Wednesday during Michael's memorial. :girl_hug:


----------



## AprilT (Jan 10, 2015)

Sounds like you are doing a great job of handling things during a very difficult time Ina.  Good to see how well you are doing.

Hugs.


----------



## Vivjen (Jan 10, 2015)

Hugs, Ina; look after yourself....I'm thinking of you


----------



## Vivjen (Jan 10, 2015)

You will talk to Michael for months...if not years; I did.
i shouted, ranted, raved, got angry, everything.....so keep on....


----------



## Ina (Jan 10, 2015)

All of you are sweet friends.  I guess one of the first things I realized was that the world wasn't going to stop, and let me off. And niether can I stop my thoughts, so it is easier to get busy, that way i don't  have to think as much.  I have three more days before the memorial service.

Today I went to one of Houston's largest malls to get my hair styled. A girl took me to wash my hair, and then she turned me over to a stylist. This lady was 56, I asked her to give a style that wound suit my face. In short time she  was done, the cost $72.00.  It looks the same as it did before, except for the trim.  I asked her what about the styling?  She said the way it was, was the right style.

I walk around the mall for a couple hours.  Being someplace where no one knew me was refreshing. I didn't have to talk to anyone about my how my life is.  That was a releaf.


----------



## hollydolly (Jan 11, 2015)

Good Morning from over the pond to lovely Ina

You know what Honey, you can post here if and when you feel up to it or not at all, all of us who have known you all the time you've been here have your back, and know that you will come to us if you need us, or just to randomly post your thoughts. We know mostly you may not feel like replying and that's absolutely ok, but we know you'll read it when you can, there's no pressure here to talk about anything or answer any questions...you  can just do what you want to whenever you feel like doing it. 

As for wearing white in Michaels' memory that is the absolute right thing to do, you're there for Michael not for the pastor and Michael will be proud of you from wherever he's watching you .


----------



## Ina (Jan 11, 2015)

Thank you Holly, 
I know you are right, I've told you ladies and gentlemen more about myself than anyone. I know much of it was shocking, and most people would not have revealed such personal details, but after so many years of holding it in, it was a great relief.


----------



## GeorgiaXplant (Jan 11, 2015)

Ina, I'd have posted here before but believe it or not, I had no idea this little section was even here! (Remember Teacher telling us "Read the whole thing first before proceeding"?)

I understand how hard this is for you, but once Michael's service is over and the hubbub has calmed down, it isn't any less painful, just easier to bear. My husband died on the 17th of January, but the memorial service wasn't until February 7. The time in between was, for lack of a better word, vapor. Not like real life at all. It wasn't until the service was over and we'd all really said goodbye that I felt like time was moving again.

Remember the good times, the best times, the triumphs and most especially the love you shared.

Believe me when I tell you that there are many of us on SF who really do understand the feeling of loss and emptiness.


----------



## Ina (Jan 11, 2015)

Hello  GeorgiaXplant,
I am so sorry for the pain you have endured, and I hope that I can live up to your example of a true lady. May the Creator make me so.

I hope I can be as strong as so many of our SF friends are.  And I wishes to extend my appreciating to all here for your support.  Every one of you has extended so much good advise, and it has been a saving grace to me.
raying:raying:raying:


----------



## SeaBreeze (Jan 11, 2015)

Ina, it's nice that you got out to the mall and did a little something for yourself.  Hopefully the gal did a good job with your trim, if you wanted more of a change there's always next time.   All my haircuts are in the $15 dollar range, so the cost is rarely over $20 with the tip.  I go to places like Cost Cutters, Great Clips, Classic Cuts....not sure if you have those places in Texas.  Hope you're having a good day, always thinking of you. :love_heart:


----------



## Happyflowerlady (Jan 11, 2015)

Ina said:


> All of you are sweet friends.  I guess one of the first things I realized was that the world wasn't going to stop, and let me off.
> Today I went to one of Houston's largest malls to get my hair styled. A girl took me to wash my hair, and then she turned me over to a stylist. This lady was 56, I asked her to give a style that wound suit my face. In short time she  was done, the cost $72.00.  It looks the same as it did before, except for the trim.  I asked her what about the styling?  She said the way it was, was the right style.
> I walk around the mall for a couple hours.  Being someplace where no one knew me was refreshing. I didn't have to talk to anyone about my how my life is.  That was a releaf.



I think that sometimes they do not want to cut much off when a person has long hair, because they can be sued if they cut off too much hair and you are upset. 
I usually cut my own hair (free), but when I have gone to have mine cut, I went to the beauty school where it was cheaper than a regular beauty salon. 
I have found that if you look for a style that you like and then show them a picture and say "this is exactly what I want it to look like", then they can look at the picture and cut it that way for you.


----------



## Ina (Jan 12, 2015)

I have always been an early riser, but since Michael died, I've been waking around 5:00am.   Now I go to bed around 8:00pm, watch TV untill 12: or 1:00am, then I can nod off for a few hours.  

I will be having a get together after the memorial for those that wish to attend. So, major cleaning is happening in this old cabin. The cabin is now my living room, and it is 25'x26'.  My whole house is just under 2500 sq., and the only sheetrock is in the bathroom and utility rooms, so of course all the walls are wood.

Today I will using floor wax to clean my walls. I know most people don't wash thier walls anymore, but our logs were never squared off. The old logs still have thier rounded form, and the logs collect a lot of dust. I have been cleaning them every six months since the 80's, and I don't see me quiting now.  The logs are of red pine, and you don't see them around here anymore.

I need to go and purchase a better ladder.  My family do not want to take any chances of falling, but no one is volunteering to help with cleaning. When my father-in-law died in '91, I cleaned my mother-in-law's house twice a week for two years, and never missed a day at my job. But it isn't as if I don't have the time.

I know I am rambling, so I truly hope I can find some activities to keep me busy.  It is funny that after retiring in Oct. of 2007, we were trying our best to lounge around, and just be farmers. That was something we could do at our leisure.


----------



## hollydolly (Jan 12, 2015)

You're not rambling Ina, you're just writing down the thoughts  as they come into your mind...absolutely nothing wrong with that..this is YOUR dairy after all, and that's what it's for.. xx


----------



## GeorgiaXplant (Jan 14, 2015)

I thought about you today, Ina. By now Michael's service is over and you've said your goodbyes. For me, it was a space of three weeks between the time my Joe died and his memorial service and a vast relief when it was finally over with. I can't explain that feeling. Not glad, certainly, but relieved.


----------



## Ina (Jan 15, 2015)

Hello diary,
Well this is the day after Michael's memorial, and I am as pooped as I've ever been. 

I spent three day from sunrise to sunset cleaning this old cabin.  I didn't realize just how much this old place needed a deep deep cleaning.  Because of Michael's COPD I had stoped using many of the cleaning supplies I normally used.  When you consider this old home is around 2500 sq. ft., and all the hardwood floors, plus all the log and paneled walls, it does take a lot of effort to clean it with pledge floor wax. Then there is all the antique wooden furniture.  But it did consume most of my thoughts, and it helped me get through this difficult time.  Now I don't have anything to do for awhile.

Yesterday I was up at 4:00am. doing last minute stuff until 12:30pm, then I had to shower and dress for the memorial.  At 3:30pm. about 35 to 40 people were at our home for a repass of drinks and food. I served seafood gumbo, chilli, ham and eggs salad sandwiches, and two large red velvet cakes with white chocolate icing, and for drinks there were ice tea, sodas, and coffee.  I also served Southern Comfort to those that wished.  It was Michael's favorite sipping alcohol. 

The last guest left around 9:00pm.

So I'm totally pooped, and I've been nervously fidgeting around most of this day. 

:holymoly:


----------



## SeaBreeze (Jan 15, 2015)

Hi Ina!  Sounds like you had a big job with the cleaning, but I bet it looks very nice.  I love log cabins and hardwood floors, nice feel to them.  I can understand your being pooped, you've been taking care of a lot of things, despite your sadness for Michael.  I hope you can get some much needed rest, and have a better tomorrow.  Take good care of yourself.


----------



## Ina (Jan 17, 2015)

Well I guess I've jumped back into learning mode.  There seems to be 101 things to do when a spouse leaves us.  Yesterday I went our banking institute, and I closed out our joint accounts, and I had to open new ones for myself.  Now other than withdrawing cash, I have to tell all creditors they have to wait until my new checks and banking card arrive in 7 to 10 days.  

Michael's death certificate came through yesterday as well, so I will be heading to the SS office at 7:00am on Tuesday.  I've heard so many theories I don't know what will the outcome of that.  I am already on disability, and I have medicare as of the first of this year.  

I will be traveling to Alabama to visit HappyflowerLady in the spring.  So I will be putting myself and Izzy through some behavioral dog training classes.  Because Izzy had to have three cataract eye surgeries before he was even 14 months old, I didn't push the early training that most of my furbabies recieved.

Michael left a list of things I needed to do for myself, and one of those was to purchase another vehicle.  As it turns out, I can buy a new 2014 SUV for between 13 and $14,000 here in Texas right now.  So Izzy and I will be driving to HFL's. 

I will also be signing myself up for a couple of computer usage courses.  It has been over 10 years since I took any courses on the subject.  I went through 19 years of college, but computer were not my easiest subject.  But as I really love to study, I should do ok. 

One more day without my dear Michael.


----------



## Vivjen (Jan 17, 2015)

You are doing sooooo well, Ina; the pain eventually lessens, the memories never do.
glad you are going to visit HFL...somebody to help you along a little.


----------



## Ina (Jan 17, 2015)

Thank you Vivjen, I am making the effort, and I admit it is an effort. :wave:


----------



## Vivjen (Jan 17, 2015)

Of course it is......I would be really worried if it wasn't......


----------



## SeaBreeze (Jan 17, 2015)

Ina, it's great that you plan to visit with Happyflowerlady, good for you!  Sounds like you'll be keeping pretty busy in the near future, hope taking care of everything goes smooth for you.  We posted a thread here with some tips that may be helpful.   https://www.seniorforums.com/showth...e-After-Death-of-a-Spouse?p=183553#post183553


----------



## AprilT (Jan 17, 2015)

Very encouraging see how you are getting along Ina.  Glad to see you getting on so well though I know the pain is still there.  Michael for sure smiling on you with pride.


----------



## Ina (Jan 18, 2015)

Sea,
That was all good advice, and most of it was provided by the funeral director or the city credit union, our banking institute.  I think the best advice came from several SF members.  Which was to be kind to myself. And go at an even pace. :wave:


----------



## Meanderer (Jan 19, 2015)

Hi Ina, glad to hear you're doing well.  You are a very strong person!   -Jim


----------



## Ina (Jan 20, 2015)

Thank you Meanderer (Jim) for your kind words. I am trying to make Michael proud by doing what I know he would want.

 My husband was an amazing man. He must have known that I was going to be confused by all this change.  I didn't go to the Social Security office today, but I will be going at 8:am. in the morning.  Today I ended up at his pension office to take them a death certificate.  What I wasn't expecting was that in November Michael had taking steps to to set me up for his pension.  I get the same amount monthly as he got.  He took care of me for over 47 years, and it seems he still is.

I found a dog trainer that will help me and my little 8 pound chorkie monster.  Because Izzy had three cataract surgeries by his 14th month, I wasn't able to give him his proper training.  This trainer trains her six show dogs, so she doesn't keep an office, but she will be coming to my home every week for 8 weeks for our one on one training.  Believe it or not the cost is only $350.


----------



## GeorgiaXplant (Jan 25, 2015)

How are you doing, Ina? I remember finding myself kind of all at sea in the first months after Joe died, so if you're feeling a bit scattered maybe that's the way it is with new widows/widowers.

I'm glad you have Izzy for company and comfort. Has he had his first lesson from the dog trainer yet?


----------



## GeorgiaXplant (Jan 28, 2015)

Good morning, Ina. Are you okay? After Joe's funeral when all was said and done and everybody gone back to their daily lives, nobody ever asked me. They'd say how sorry they were, tell me how "strong" I was, but never asked if I was okay. I hope you're getting used to your new normal. It takes a while. I've been thinking of you.


----------



## Meanderer (Jan 29, 2015)

Hi Ina, how ya doing?  Remember....some days it's a half day at a time! - Jim


----------



## Ina (Jan 30, 2015)

Thank you Jim, GeorgiaX, and AprilT too,
I had no idea just how much was involved in the death of a spouse.  Although my family try to call every so often, no one has offered to help me with the tasks concerning Michael's affairs.  I feel like a bouncing ball.  I get one thing done, and another always seems to pop up.

I went three different times to the Social Security office, before I got that all straightened out.  Two days at the bank.  It is one month after Michael's death, and his life insurance is just now saying they are reveiwing his case.  

I went to the doctor's office on the 26th.  They want $800. to do tests on my heart, and they are talking nitro gleseren (Sp?) tablets.

I took Izzy in to his vet for yearly shots.  The next day he went to the groomer's to make him all presentable.  The following day his new trainer started training Izzy and me.  He did every well with the sit, and we are working on come.  I need to get him a crate so I can start feeding him in it.  We want him to be comfortable in the crate, so he can travel to Alabama with me in April.

I went to get my car inspected, and it would not pass, so I went to my mechanic.  They told me that it was the catalytic converter, and the brain governing that.  That came to $1995.00.   Even though I am giving the "05 Ford Explorer to my brother, he can not afford the repairs.  He only gets just over $13,000.00 a year.  I bought the car in  June of 2012 for $4800., and last September, we put $4,000. into the engine, and now with this last repair, I have  just under $11,000.00  in the vehicle. 

I've been doing some gardening.  I have been propagating the wild bulb plants I find out in the back area by the pond.  So I decided to plant some yellow and pink Dinnerplate dahlias, some 28" mixed Dahlia Border bulbs, and some red and yellow/red gladiolus, followed by lots of golden daylilies.  As they start growing well, I will transfer them around the two thirds of an acre that I am keeping for my on use after I sell the four and one third acres with a 2000 sq. ft., four bedroom home with a two story metal barn.  It looks like I will have it sold by April.

So I'm tired.  :chores::fingerscrossed:


----------



## SeaBreeze (Jan 30, 2015)

Hi Ina, sounds about right that things don't go nearly as smooth as they should, but I'm glad you dealing with everything so well, one step at a time.  That's a very expensive car repair for sure, can't believe how much money you've had to put into the car already! I bet Izzy looks cute with his new haircut, nice that he's learning the commands.  Good luck with the sale of your house and land.  Cool that you've been doing some gardening, I have a black thumb, not much luck with plants or flowers.  Good to hear from you, I think of you often.


----------



## Meanderer (Jan 30, 2015)

How many Texans does it take to transplant a Dahlia Border bulb?    The answer: One named Ina!  God bless you Ina in the days and weeks ahead!  -Jim


----------



## Ina (Jan 30, 2015)

Thanks Sea and Jim, I'll take all the encouragement I can get.  At least I stopped crying for awhile.  I've lost 18 pounds since Michael passed, and I'm sure much of it was tears.  The rest came off with my Gazelle Glider I'm sure.


----------



## Meanderer (Jan 31, 2015)

Ina, maybe a new stove would help?


----------



## Ina (Jan 31, 2015)

Jim, I have an old 1942 Chambers stove.  No new gadget stove for me.  :wave:


----------



## Meanderer (Jan 31, 2015)

Ina said:


> Jim, I have an old 1942 Chambers stove.  No new gadget stove for me.  :wave:


Just thought you may need a larger "rear burner" to put things!


----------



## Ina (Jan 31, 2015)

Jim, I'm a get'er done kind of gal.  I like to keep things up to date.  I also have OCD. :grin::grin::grin:


----------



## Meanderer (Jan 31, 2015)

Ina said:


> Jim, I'm a get'er done kind of gal.  I like to keep things up to date.  I also have OCD. :grin::grin::grin:



...gotcha!


----------



## Ina (Jan 31, 2015)

Jim, you are a funny guy.  Behave yourself, and maybe your wife will bake you some cookies.  :wave:


----------



## AZ Jim (Jan 31, 2015)

Ina, I know your ongoing struggle is not an easy one but you sound to me like a gal who can handle it.  You seem brave and you are going forward.  Life is always best when viewed through the windshield, not the rear view mirror.  Keep on truckin lady.


----------



## Ina (Feb 14, 2015)

Thank you AZ Jim for the encouraging words.  It does take awhile to see that the only dirrection to go is forward, it is just not as easy as some might think.  I think the hardest thing is to find activities that make you want to keep going forward.

Several of my online friends have given me exceptional advice, such as be kind to myself, which I admit took me a while to understand.  Of course I am just now starting to understand the loneliness in front of me, but of course I'll look at that one day at a time.  (wave)


----------



## Vivjen (Feb 14, 2015)

The only way, Ina....and it can be sooooo hard....:bighug:


----------



## Ina (Feb 16, 2015)

Well today will be a week that I've had my new car.  A young lady that we let live with us for a couple of year with her  new baby has stayed friends with us for 28 years, and she has worked in auto sales for the last 20 years.  She was as excited to help me find a new car, as I was scared of the process.  
I got a 2015 Kia Sportage for $23,000., and that was $13,000. under cost.  I paid cash so I woundn't have to pay any financing.  The vehicle has so many bells and whistles, I'll be two years figuring out how to work all the gadgets.  Most of all it has a 10 year warranty package.  raying:


----------



## Vivjen (Feb 16, 2015)

Well done you...and for getting some help.
start with the bells and whistles you need....it takes me hours to change the clock in my car, and I have had it 7 years!


----------



## Ina (Feb 16, 2015)

Vivjen, Sounds like it wouldn't be a good idea for us to be in any tech situations at all.  At least not together.


----------



## Vivjen (Feb 16, 2015)

That is what professionals are for......our job is to keep them in a job!


----------



## Ina (Feb 16, 2015)

I must support at least two. :wave:


----------



## SeaBreeze (Feb 21, 2015)

Hope you're enjoying your new Kia Ina, stay safe and enjoy!  :drive:


----------



## Ina (Apr 7, 2015)

Hello Diary,
I've been away for some time now, so I thought I would drop in and write awhile.  My frame of mind is much better, and my focus has broadened.  Although both my sons and my husband are now gone, I have come to see that life is still good.  Now, I wake up each day, and I can see a place for myself again.  

I just returned from North Alabama, where I spent five days visiting Happyflowerlady.  I spent two days going each way.  :drive::jammin::drive::jammin:I saw spring come alive in four states.  When I came home to Texas, everything was in full bloom.  Who could resist coming alive?  Not me.  

I am 63 years old, and I spent 50 of those as a wife and mother, and now I am neither.  So I must figure out how to be totally single now.
So far I have learned that grocery shopping for one is almost impossible, and if you look around you can find some good food at the fast food joints.  Like lots grilled chicken,  egg rolls, and salads.  :tapfoot:  :wave:


----------



## SeaBreeze (Apr 7, 2015)

Good to hear from you again Ina, been missing you and thinking about you.  Hope you had a good time in Alabama, and happy you had a safe trip.  I think springtime is very therapeutic for many of us, I'm glad you're doing well after losing Michael.  Hope your doggies are doing okay too....hugs.


----------



## AprilT (Apr 7, 2015)

Good to hear about how things are going with you Ina.  Spring is a beautiful time of year, lots roots setting and many already sprouting full of life.


----------



## Pappy (Apr 7, 2015)

Ina.....so good to hear from you again. Welcome back. Pappy.


----------



## Ina (Apr 7, 2015)

Hi Sea and AprilT, :wave:
Thank you for the return welcome.  It is good to be back.  After the rush of events that went with loosing someone, I went into hibernation verbally.  I didn't even speak to my grandchildren, although i did try to explain my need for seclusion.  So I did a lot of wondering and reconfiguring of my new reality.

I had to decide what I wanted to do now, even if it is just for the next six months.  My future will work itself out, so I'm going to enjoy today.


----------



## Ina (Apr 7, 2015)

Hi Pappy, How are you and your beautiful wife doing?  :sup:


----------



## Jackie22 (Apr 7, 2015)

Good to see you back, Ina, one day at a time and enjoy all you can.


----------



## NancyNGA (Apr 7, 2015)

Welcome back, Ina.:rose:


----------



## Pappy (Apr 8, 2015)

Ina said:


> Hi Pappy, How are you and your beautiful wife doing?  :sup:



Well thank you. Yes she is still beautiful in my eyes. We are fine and thanks for asking my friend. Pappy


----------



## Meanderer (Apr 8, 2015)

Hi Ina, glad you got to travel and see new sights!  ....there's nothing like coming home!  One Texas sized Summer...coming up!   Enjoy!  - Jim


----------



## Raven (Apr 8, 2015)

Hello Ina, It's nice to have you back posting.
Taking one day at a time is what we all have to do.
Enjoy the warm sunny days.


----------



## Ina (Apr 8, 2015)

Thanks to all of you, and it is good to around again.  I guess we all wonder what it would be like for us to loose a loved spouse, but the truth is we do not have any say or choice in the matter, so we must go on with our lives, or waste it.


----------



## Ina (Oct 4, 2015)

Hello Friends, the days are getting better, although the missing part doesn't go away, but my thoughts of Michael, and Young Michael are becoming more like comforting conversations. 
I just got back from a 16 day tour of Colorado Springs, San Fransisco, and Los Vegas.  After all that, and I find I'm just a country girl.  
I loved traveling all around the small towns, and the country areas around Colorado Springs, and I even got to the top of Pikes Peak, saw Seven Falls, and I fell in love with The Garden of Gods.
I found the house where my parents lived in San Fransisco when I was born, and it is still in great shape. I do wonder how my mother handled two small children, and walking up and down those so very steep hills. But getting to the Golden Gate Bridge, was a nightmare as far as traffic goes. All the freeways are bumper to bumper 24/7.
In Los Vegas, it was nose to nose, and feet to feet,  as far as people are concerned.  My little 8 lb. Izzy got to win $30.00 playing the penny slots, until we were told that animals were not allowed at games. 
Izzy and I got home last night, and I admit, we are still in our Sleep IQ number bed.  When I turn on the massage part, Izzy rolls over on his back and starts his little snoring sounds.
Now it is time for me to check out what all of you have been up to.


----------



## Vivjen (Oct 4, 2015)

Welcome back, Ina.
Glad you had a good break....but it is nice to be home, yes?!
It does get better...just go day by day.....


----------



## SeaBreeze (Oct 4, 2015)

So good to hear from you Ina, nice to know that you're doing okay and wonderful that you took a nice trip like that with Izzy!  You look great in your new avatar, hugs to you and little Izzy. :love_heart:


----------



## Ken N Tx (Oct 5, 2015)

Welcome home Ina....


----------



## Warrigal (Oct 5, 2015)

Happy birthday, little sister. I'm pleased to hear that you are taking stock and making changes for your own future joy. I think that is why we have birthdays - they are moments when we reflect on our past and present and anticipate the future. 

Carpe diem and grab tomorrow by the throat. You are the captain of your ship, and don't you forget it.  :happybday: :glittered:


----------



## Ina (Oct 5, 2015)

Thanks for the welcome back everyone. I'm doing a lot better, although, I do still have my silent periods, but the are getting to where they are a little more healing each time.  
I did learn not to pay for such a trip in advance though.  It is impossible to change things if you change your mind about how long you wish to stay at any given place. After all is said and done, I would have been much happier if I had spent two weeks in Colorado, two days in San Fransisco, and two in Los Vegas.  I found a sense of exceptance in Colorado that I greatly needed. So from now on it will only be country trips for me.
:yoda:


----------



## Lara (Oct 5, 2015)

*Welcome back*. I'm glad you had a good experience in Colorado. My daughter lives in Denver, in a quaint Bungalow 
style house right on the edge City Park where the lake, Rocky Mountain view, science museum, and zoo are. She absolutely loves it there.
The building in the pic is the Pavillion. The Museums are just outside of the viewfinder.


----------



## Warrigal (Oct 5, 2015)

Silly me, it's not your birthday at all but my best wishes still hold.
Pleased to hear that you are back home and that the trip has done you well.


----------



## rider1046 (Oct 5, 2015)

Happy Birthday, Ina.


----------



## Ina (Oct 6, 2015)

Hi Lara, Your right about the state od Colorado, it is a beautiful place. I went to Denver way back in 1978, to visit an old friend, and so I always knew that I would return if possible.  If I had any family there, you can bet I be moving to some small town somewhere in Colrado. My friends here in Texas all cry snow, but I've lived in Boston, Mass., Yonkers, NY., and Tulsa, OK.
I hope you get to visit your daughter often. :bestwish:


----------



## Ina (Oct 15, 2015)

Today, I am quite, and that is ok.

For many years, I have felt like I had to be doing or thinking something to advance my family's situation.  Now most of my family are gone, and I have been alone for nine months.  I can see that I need a new mind set, because I find myself somewhat in a frenzy with no place to put it.

While visiiting Colorado recently, I did a lot of being quite, and just letting the openness fill me. I think I have been blessed with the need, time, and ability to just be quite for awhile. I don't know how long it will last, but I'm going to see where it takes me.


----------



## Vivjen (Oct 15, 2015)

Quite right, Ina, it is another step forward.
i need structure in my life....but I don't always need to be 'doing'.
i stay home alone quite a lot of the time...with the cats; doing tapestry, reading, playing on the computer, or just listening to the radio...which I prefer to TV.

so try anything that helps you come to terms with life....and brings you some peace.


----------



## Ina (Oct 15, 2015)

Thank you Viv, I think I'm going to try and teach myself to use my Dell XPS-18 computer, along with my HP printer, and start doing my portraits again. Michael always did my paper enlargements for me.  I sometimes get very small pictures to work from, so I need to be able to enlarge areas so I can see details that I can't see otherwise. I'll just take my time, read the instructions, or see if Youtube can help me.

My goal right now is to start drawing again, and to learn to be happy with just me.


----------



## Warrigal (Oct 15, 2015)

I once heard an old Aboriginal man talking about his life and he said that he had reached the dreaming time (Dreamtime is a reference to Aboriginal spirituality) which he said was his time to sit in the shade under a tree and dream. 

It is the time when we don't have to concern ourselves with all of the trivia of life, a time when we can concentrate on the deeper, more important things. A time of reflection and a time to immerse ourselves in beauty.

Art sounds perfect for the dreaming time.


----------



## Meanderer (Oct 15, 2015)

Hi, Ina!  I've seen your recent journey, as a life-changing event for you!  Being at peace with yourself is wise goal, and I know you will make it!  Be strong! - Jim


----------



## Ina (Dec 4, 2015)

Hello Diary,  It has been one year to the day that I started writing here.  Of course nothing ever works out just as we think it will.  Sometimes I wonder why we put so much stock in making plans.  It must be that we need to think we have some control over ourselves, even if it is just a little bit.

As many of you know, I lost Michael last December 30th., and I as so many of us learn, surviving whether we wish to or not happens. 

This year I stumbled badly.  At first all I could think of was, what do I do without my husband or my two sons?  I couldn't find any dirrection.  Everytime someone died, I would refocuse on those still living. Eventually all the grandparents, parents, in-laws, husband, and sons were gone, and I had no where to turn.  You guys don't know how many times I peeked in just to make sure ya'll were still here.

Way back in 1989, I met a 19 y/o girl, Krystin, with her 7 month old baby walking down the road, and long story short, I took her to our home where she lived with us for two years.  After that she would come to see me every few years to let me know she was alright. Somehow she showed up just after Big Michael died, and between her and Happyfowerlady, they pulled me through.  

In April, I went to visit HFL, and her open heart helped me.  My young friend Krystin then started to drag me out of my cabin wether I wanted to go out or not at least twice a week.  Then in September. she and I went on a long trip to Colorado, California, and Nevada.  I wanted to thank her with a trip, and I wanted and needed to see my country again.  I let her enjoy the cities, and I drank up the healing that comes from a dirrect connection with our earth.

Then in October my older brother needed to have his knee replaced, and I was back at the VA hospital that I had been taking my husband to in '12, '13, and '14.  As it turned out they decided to fix my brother's knee the Monday before Thanksgiving.  As it was a holiday, the VA was short on staff, and asked that a family member be available to help out.  My brother's family lives too far away to help him, so that left me.  I walked the VA hallways thinking of all that had happened there. They had cared for my father, husband, son, and now my brother.  

So I found my way to the little office governing the volunteers.  They explained that I could help with clerical work, help people by giving dorrections, or help to organize events.   None of this interested me, so I asked about the permanent residents.  I was told that not many thought of them, and many had no families to remember them.  I asked what I had to do to be able to work there, and the manager told me that less than half could follow through in their volunteering efforts.  

I have been through 10 deaths in my immediate family, and held three of them in my arms as they died.  Maybe my Creator was preparing me for this.  It gives me some peace to think this.

So if my TB test shows I'm clear, then in January, I'll start my six months of training to be able to work in the unit I want.  It is called the NVDA unit. ( No Veteran Dies Alone)  I think I can do this.  

Yesterday at about 8:10 am., I was headed to the doctor's office to get my TB test, and I smelled something odd, but I just thought it was the smells of Houston traffic.  Then a couple of minutes later, I saw smoke around the gear shift between the front seats, (I'm thinking, Ina you haven't smoked in over 33 years).  I stopped my 2015 KIA Sportage half on the road and half on the dirt shoulder on the right.  I touched the area and my fingers went through the plastic. It had melted on me, so I grabbed the Lysol wet ones I keep in the car, and got the hot plastic off mt fingers.  I looked over at the melted place again, and fire was coming straight up the middle console. (My brain is screaming at me to get out of the car and run.)  So instead I jump out and into the back where I keep several bottles of water, and then I get back into the driver's seat, wrap my hands in LOTS of wet ones, and I used three bottles of water and my fists to beat the fire out.  When it was all over there was a hole that was big enough for large man to stick both of his hand through.

Then I realized I had not turned the car off, so I drove the ten miles to my doctor's office where they put my hands into icewater to get all the plastic off my fingers.  They're fine, just some blisters, but they rescheduled my TB test for next Monday.  

So I then drove my car 32 miles to the dealership that I bought it from. They immediately call whomever, and it was decided that they needed to investigate the whole issue.  Within 30 minutes I drove off the lot with a 2016 KIA Sorento, that had less than ten miles on the odometer.   So I guess now I just wait for the outcome.

Today I turned 64.


----------



## Shalimar (Dec 4, 2015)

Wow Ina, a great deal has certainly happened to you. I am so relieved you were not badly hurt when your car caught fire. Keeping a cool head saved you from a possibly scary outcome I think. In my opinion, you will be a marvelous volunteer at

the vet hospital. Your empathy and compassion will bring comfort to lonely vets at the end of their lives. What a gift of love. Sometimes out of our own pain, comes the greatest capacity to love and comfort others. It can bring peace and purpose to our lives. Happy birthday Ina.


----------



## Ina (Dec 4, 2015)

Thank you Shalimar, I guess just about the time we want to give up, our Creator show us that, that is not our choice, but his. Fot me, everything has changed, and that is what will make it an adventure into a new life. :wave:


----------



## Mrs. Robinson (Dec 4, 2015)

What a scary experience,Ina!! So glad you are OK!! Happy happy Birthday and I am sooooo happy to hear of your new upcoming journey! I think this will be perfect for you.


----------



## Shalimar (Dec 4, 2015)

Ina, I am very excited for you--please keep us posted on each step of your new journey. I believe we all learn from and teach each other. Apparently, our teachers show up just when we need them!


----------



## SeaBreeze (Dec 4, 2015)

Ina, I think it's great that you'll be able to do some positive work for the veterans in such a program, very commendable...kudos!  Unbelievable what happened to you in your new car, I wonder if they're on recall for that safety issue.  Glad you're okay and not seriously hurt, anything could have happened there.  At least you have a new vehicle to drive in the meantime, that's very good.  Happy Birthday!  :happybday:


----------



## AprilT (Dec 4, 2015)

Oh my Ina, so glad you are fine.  Good luck with the veteran's opportunity, sounds like a great fit for you and those lucky people who will get to have you around.


----------



## Warrigal (Dec 4, 2015)

You have a lot to offer Ina. I hope you find an outlet for your love in your new vocation.
The vets will be enriched by knowing you.


----------



## Ina (Dec 7, 2015)

Today I am in prayer mode. A friend to many of us, Happyflowerlady, is sitting in a waiting room as her youngest son is right now in surgery having a triple heart bypass.  Please, will each and every one of you pray for her and her son.
raying:


----------



## Lon (Dec 7, 2015)

A Very Happy Birthday Ina---------Go and have some fun today, tomorrow, ALWAYS.


----------



## AprilT (Dec 7, 2015)

Ina said:


> Today I am in prayer mode. A friend to many of us, Happyflowerlady, is sitting in a waiting room as her youngest son is right now in surgery having a triple heart bypass.  Please, will each and every one of you pray for her and her son.
> raying:




Give HFL, my best wishes for her son to pull through safely and on to a speedy recovery.


----------



## Butterfly (Dec 8, 2015)

I will add my prayers, April T.


----------



## Ina (Dec 9, 2015)

Ok friends, I need your advice.  I told ya'll about my 2015 KIA Sportage catching fire on me last week. Well they said they were going to have "specialist check it out to see why it caught fire under my car.  Well yesterday I got a call of some office up north, and they said after the investigation they would fix it and return it to me.  I explained that I didn't want that particular car back.  I think another Kia Sportage would be fine, but not the one that caught fire.  I wouldn't ever feel safe in it again.  Someone told me to call a lawyer, but who, I can't afford to put out the kind of money lawyers ask for.

What should I do?


----------



## AprilT (Dec 9, 2015)

I would let my last conversation with the company be that I will be consulting with a lawyer and any other communications should be in writing, meaning if they will be replacing the car you want it in writing, you want the terms in writing and anything you agree to in the future in writing.  There are often lawyers who will give you a consult for free and you can go from there just on there advice, but, it would be wise to have a legal ear hear you out just in case.


I don't know how good or quick you'll get an answer on these sites, but, you could give them a try, though, I would really look through my local directory to see who gives free consults.

https://www.lawzam.com/

http://ask-a-lawyer.freeadvice.com/law-questions/


----------



## 911 (Dec 9, 2015)

Well, what was the reason for it catching on fire? First of all, cars just don't catch on fire. If they did, we would see more of them sitting along burned from the inside out. Where on the car did the fire start and what was the cause. After you learn that information, then you can go to step 2.


----------



## AprilT (Dec 9, 2015)

Seems there may have been past class action suits on kia models for just fires, might need to investigate the validity of this further, but, I saw this article earlier, I hesitated to post it, since I couldn't really find more info on it maybe more digging will turn up something more recent or not.

http://www.lieffcabraser.com/Person...pectra-Sportage-Rio-SUV-Fire-and-Recall.shtml


----------



## Ina (Dec 9, 2015)

Thank you AprilT, that gave me a starting place. It allowed me to ask a question, and I'm not sure when they'll get back.  Thanks foe both links.


----------



## Ina (Dec 9, 2015)

911, the fire left about a 7 inch hole just in front of the gear shift between the two front seats.  I smelled something, but I thought it was just the polution of Houston,Texas.  Shortly after I noticed a wisp of smoke. So I stop the 2015 Kia Sportage in the road. ( no shoulders to pull over to),  I touched the smoking spot, and my finger went through it? Then fire started coming up into the inside of my car.  I jumped into the back of my car where I keep several bottles of water.  I also used those round containers of Lysol wet one to wrap my hands in, and between pouring water and slapping at the fire, I was able to put the fire out.  I then drove 15 miles to my doctor to treat my minor burns, and then another 32 miles to my dealership. They had me in a 2016 KIA Sorento in less than 30 minutes and off their property.  They said they had never seen that before, and a special inspector would be coming to check the car out.  I have recieved a call from 'up North' telling me that if they fixed it I had to take that car back.  when I purchased the car I bought extended five tear warranty over the the five they nomally offer.

I guess I should have left the car to burn, but I thought I should at least try to put it ut.


----------



## SifuPhil (Dec 9, 2015)

Ina, I give you a lot of credit for driving that beast after it caught fire.

I would have left it smoldering in front of the dealership. 

Just glad you're safe and sound.


----------



## Ina (Dec 10, 2015)

Hi Sifu, sometimes I think I've lost my brains.  I seem to act before I think things through lately.  Last month I held a thief, (that has been stealing me blind in the last year), at gun point untill the police finally came to arrest him. I think I might be a bit ticked off at a lot of things, but I'm not sure why. 

For those that worry about guns, I've been using them since I was a child, and I've had a lisence since I was first bonded as a courier in my early twenties.  And I practice at a range every two months.  So yes, I'm a responsible gun owner.


----------



## Shalimar (Dec 10, 2015)

Ina, I don't worry in the  least about you being armed. I would welcome you at my six any time! I can't speak for you of course, but part of my processing extreme changes/losses in my life has been anger---sometimes a lot of it. It eases in time. Part of my grieving process.


----------



## Ina (Dec 10, 2015)

Thank you Shalimar, it just that most of my life, I've had to keep a calm attitude concerning the ups and downs of life, so my family would see that anger and violence were not the answer to most of their obstacles in their lives.  

I don't like this angry side that I've developed lately, but I can deal with it easier than all the tears.


----------



## Shalimar (Dec 10, 2015)

Ina, for me, tears came first, then anger, believe it or not, it proved to be a sign I was beginning to heal.


----------



## SifuPhil (Dec 10, 2015)

Ina said:


> Hi Sifu, sometimes I think I've lost my brains.  I seem to act before I think things through *lately*.



_Lately?
_
You lucky gal! I've been like that most of my life - it explains that tattoo of Tinkerbell I have on my forehead ... 




> Last month I held a thief, (that has been stealing me blind in the last year), at gun point untill the police finally came to arrest him. I think I might be a bit ticked off at a lot of things, but I'm not sure why.



Well, you know me - I'm quite hawkish when it comes to self-defense, so I loudly applaud your actions. 



> For those that worry about guns, I've been using them since I was a child, and I've had a lisence since I was first bonded as a courier in my early twenties.  And I practice at a range every two months.  So yes, I'm a responsible gun owner.



Gun control means using both hands!


----------



## SifuPhil (Dec 10, 2015)

Ina said:


> ... I don't like this angry side that I've developed lately, but I can deal with it easier than all the tears.



Perhaps we have to go through both sides in order to come out as balanced individuals? 

I started life as a warm, caring, emotional person. I later developed a stone gargoyle approach to life for many years.

I've used anger as a tool - focusing it in the right direction at the right time.

These days, for various reasons, the gargoyle is slowly being chipped away once again.

Yin and Yang.


----------



## Ina (Dec 10, 2015)

Sifu you are still a young man, and you still have much to explore, so try to fight your recent health issue that seem to be dragging  you down.  You have one of the most uplifting attitudes, and you have given me laughter to replace many of my tears in the last couple of years. So it might take some time, but I believe your natural ability to see the good or humorus side of things will return to you.  Arrrggg my friendly pirate.


----------



## Shalimar (Dec 10, 2015)

Soooo funny Ina!


----------



## SifuPhil (Dec 10, 2015)

LOL@ the pirate stuff. These days, unfortunately, I've had to combine the 12k Peg Leg Race with the Wench Chasing - 

"Wait! - *stump* - I just - *stump* - want to - *stump* - buy ye - *stump* - some rum!"

They usually lose me at the 3rd hole of the golf course.

Thank you for your kind words *sniff*


----------



## fureverywhere (Dec 10, 2015)

The true meaning behind the pirate stuff...read Keith Richards " Life". A life well lived...some events were totally ****** up. But others he would do again in a heartbeat...****** Keef immortal. Works  for me, I've made mistakes and I could be bitter, but I have a dark sense of humor. So some of it I would do again, yep. Pat yourself on the back son...we lived through it.
Do you look younger?




Yeah that's what I thought...we're okay.


----------



## SifuPhil (Dec 10, 2015)

Doesn't Keith rely more upon yearly blood transfusions for his immortality? 

He could use some Botox as well ...

But yes, there are many bad things that I've done that I would do again, in a heart-beat. Sometimes bad just feels so good!


----------



## Shalimar (Dec 10, 2015)

Sometimes in retrospect the lines between good and bad are blurry. I think that can be a good thing. Most of the things I learned were not gleaned from my so called angelic moments.


----------



## SifuPhil (Dec 10, 2015)

Certainly, the bad things are far more memorable. Hence, they're probably better utilized as object lessons.

Except for that time I got drunk and painted "KICK ME" on that cow ...


----------



## Ina (Dec 27, 2015)

I have become a legend in my own family it seems.  

Last Monday, one of my granddaughters called to say she and her husband had broke up, and that she and the two boys, (5&7), were being asked to leave her MIL's house.  Needless to say I picked her mother up, and we were headed for Phoenix, AZ by noon on Tuesday.  So on the way back, in my loaner KIA Sorento, packed with my step-daughter, granddaughter, two boys, and old cat, and of course my dog Izzy and myself, I was trapped with all the questions I had hoped to never hear.  I drove that trip in 46 hours, and that included stoping at restaurants, a million potty breaks, and gas tank fill ups.

As I am the great-grandmother, I am known as Grams, (the nickname comes from my hippy days). So all the way back to Dayton, Texas I heard, "Grams did you really", questions:tapfoot::tapfoot:.  Did you really blow a hole in the living room floor?  Did you really dig a cave under the house, and it sank in the middle when it rained?  Did you really run away from home 4 times? Did you really steal a police car when you were 11?  And that went on and on until I thought I was going to strangle someone, but I realized that person would be myself.  I didn't know my family knew so much about my youth.

Within an hour after I dropped my tormentors off, I got another call saying my granddaughter had change her mind and want to go back home. I said NO.


----------



## Ina (Jan 13, 2016)

Well I survived the holidays. Thanksgiving I spent taking my half-brother from the VA hospital to his home some 85 miles away, and getting him settled in.  Two days before Christmas, after recieving a distress call from a granddaughter in Glendale AZ, I drove a 2350 mile round trip there and back in 46 hours to bring her and 5 and 7 year old boys to her mother's home.  New years I just hid.

Today I went to the VA hospital for the background check, and next Wednesday, I go for orientation, fingerprinting, and getting my VA ID.  I will start with chapel duty so I can begin meeting the permanent residents and my volunteer coworkers.  They also want me to work in the art unit, and then in a couple of months I will start working for the NVDA unit, (No Vetran Dies Alone), which is my main goal.

We also talked of me implimenting a Kindle Fire program that will give the residents a way of communicating online with their surrounding world.  The plan is to get rehabbed tablets, and I already have a few people willing to help me fund the program.  

But of course there is a lot of red tape with the VA for approval, and they have to come up with an online system for the residents that doesb't involve the hospital''s network.

Am I happy? No, but I'm getting good at faking it. :yoda::darth::waiting:


----------



## SeaBreeze (Jan 13, 2016)

That sounds like a great thing you're doing with the veterans, glad you're pursuing it, that's very kind of you.  Hope you get the approval and cooperation you need to reach your goals.  You're a strong gal, I admire you for all you're doing with your life.


----------



## Ina (Jan 14, 2016)

Sea, thank you for the kind words, but something tells me that I will be humbled by the strength of the vets I hope bring a little relief to.  
:fingerscrossed::yoda:


----------



## fureverywhere (Jan 14, 2016)

Kids by late night...about now...I'm ready to check out. Really the to do list during the day. Then by now **** it. Tomorrow I'll try again. We'll be okay...night night


----------



## Ina (Jan 22, 2016)

I got through my VA volunteer orientation, and the finger printing, but I did have a problem with my ID. They wanted two picture IDs, or a driver's lisence and my SS card, which I don't have a clue as to where my SS card is. So I took the SS statement we all recieve yearly for tax purposes.  But that wasn't working either, the names had to match exactly the same.  My driver lisence is first, maiden, and last name.  My SS statement is under first, middle initial, and last name.  I thought I wasn't going to make the program this year. 

But it turned out that out of 20 volunteers I am the only person that was a candidate for the NVDA unit.  Then someone came in just as I was coming to the conclusion that all was over, and asked me if I was Ina blah blah that had worked volunteer work for three year with Bridges To Life in the Texas prison system.  It seems it came up on my background check. So he asked me if I voted, and after telling him yes, he printed out a copy of my voters registration card.  ID problem all gone!!

Now I just wait for all the paper work to come back, and I'll be able to get start. Hurry up and wait seems to still be in force.


----------



## rider1046 (Jan 29, 2016)

From another Veteran, thanks for your good works.


----------



## Ina (Feb 10, 2016)

Well the world is starting to balance out for me. I'm starting to get interested in what is going on around me again. I can see that there is still a place for me in this world.  I'm am even starting to laugh and tease others again.  Even the memories that were driving me crazy a year ago are now starting to give me peace.

One of those memories has turned into a bit of a mystery for me, and maybe one of you could give me a clue as to what it might mean. For over my 47 years my hubby had a saying, that he said to me just after we met. And did so whenever he wanted to make me blush. It was the way he looked and the sound of his voice when he said it.  But I never new what it meant. I even accused him of making it up, but he would just smile and repeat it.

While in the Marines Michael was sent to many places, and among those places were Taiwan, Okinawa, Japan,and even Hawaii, and this saying sounded like it might be one of those language.  He always said it very fast. I've never seen it written so all I can do is put it down phonetically.  So this it. 

"Oh chitty chitty mooca mooca jo toe nae."

Does anyone have a clue as to what it might mean???  :wave:


----------



## Pappy (Feb 11, 2016)

Said it several ways, Ina, and doesn't mean much to me. I'm sure it had a special meaning for your husband though. Just like when I mention the Banana Boat song to my wife. Only she knows what I'm referring to.


----------



## Ina (Feb 11, 2016)

I didn't put it down right, I would love to know what he meant.  Do you think it was just nonsense? This is the corrected saying.

O chitty chitty mooca mooca nocka nocka jo toe nae.


----------



## Happyflowerlady (Feb 12, 2016)

Okay, Dear, Ina.......please don't laugh at me for this, now........but when I kept repeating your "mystery words" to myself, what came to my mind was parts of an old (1950's) Hawaiian folk song, part of a Guy Lombardo Hawaiian record album that my mom and daddy used to play. 
It had lots of the old favorites, like "Aloha Oe", and some of the beautiful ones; but of course the one that stuck in my little girl's mind was one called "My Little Grass Shack". 
In the song, which was meant to be sung by some homesick Hawaiian , he sang about his home and the islands, " where the --(long unpronounceable words)-- goes swimming by" .
 The strange words in the song are at least somewhat similar sounding to the ones you told us about. 

Unfortunately , even YouTube could not come up with the Guy Lombardo rendition of the song. I chose this version, not because of the singing; but because she does a great job of pronouncing all of the Hawaiian words in the song. 
Listen to it carefully, and when she gets to the part about the (whatever) swimming by; see if it sounds like your mystery words to you. 
If not........I tried. 

http://youtu.be/5NAx99zutCg


----------



## Ina (Feb 12, 2016)

Yes HFL, It does sound a lot like that.  I wonder if there is a Hawain dictionary. So maybe he didn't make it up. :wave:


----------



## Happyflowerlady (Feb 12, 2016)

Here are the words to the song, including the name of the fish, which turns out to be a beautiful fish called the Reef Triggerfish. 
You can read this, and when you see the long fish-name printed out, it does seem similar to the word you posted. 
Was Michael a Guy Lombardo fan ? 
He was very popular back in the early fifties, and he was also an Italian. 

http://www.huapala.org/My/My_Little_Grass_Shack_In_K.html


----------



## Ina (Feb 18, 2016)

Since it will be a least four years before my cataracts can be repaired ,and I was tired of crying because I now can't see clearly enough to do my portrait work, I decided to change my art work completely. So far, I have sewn, enbriodried, became a horticulurist, a potter, built different kilns, and sold my portrait work.  I have change my arts and crafts with the needs of my family or health. Now I've decided to teach myself to weave cloth and tapestries.  I'm going to start by weaving baby blankets to donate to the young service personnel at the VA where I'll be volunteering.

I recieve my new 48" ridged heddle loom yesterday, and I assembled it today. Tomorrow I'll finish the loom wood with a paste furniture wax.  Then I get to go out and purchase a small inventory of different yarns for my blankets.  Here is a picture of my loom before I string it for the first time.


----------



## AprilT (Feb 18, 2016)

Nice!    I hope it gives you many moments of great looming pleasure.


----------



## RadishRose (Feb 18, 2016)

Have fun and relaxation with your new loom Ina!


----------



## NancyNGA (Feb 18, 2016)

Nice loom, Ina.  Sounds like fun.   I would like to try that.

I tried making a peg loom once.  I was going to try to use old baling twine to make some outdoor mats, just for fun.  Never could get the knots to hold in that twine.  Didn't work out so well.  Oh well.....


----------



## Ina (Feb 20, 2016)

Nancy you are more than welcome to come work with me.  But I know you have your mother and other responsibilities to hold you there.  If you ever get the chances to come south to Texas, I have a big old three bedroom house with just me in it, and maybe we could teach each other something.

I woke up as 3:30am this morning, because I was so excited to get started on my loom, but after having to undo my work twice I realized I needed to wait for the sunshine.  At 6:30am I sat down with a cup of coffee and fell asleep until 11:am.  

This afternoon I finally got the warp threads done.  I haven't counted the slots yet, although I can tell there is more than 200, and ech slot has two threads, but you can bet I will be before I do another.  The sun has gone down so I'll not be starting the weft threads until tomorrow.  I not be repeating the night time escapade again.


----------



## NancyNGA (Feb 20, 2016)

You are too nice, Ina.     Those are really fine threads.  It looks very difficult and complicated. Keep us posted on the progress.  

Those are beautiful almost artistic pictures just the way they are.


----------



## Ina (Feb 21, 2016)

I'm pooped!  There are 490 warp threads in the upper pics.  Today, after waiting for the sun to come up, I got started again.  I kept think I had assembled the loom incorrectly, or I was doing the weaving wrong. I'm so glad that I purchased the stand for the loom.  I found I can't sit to do the work, because I have to lean forward and that causes too much pain in my spine, so I have to stand. I think 5 o r 6 hours a day is about all I going to be able to do daily. But here is today efforts.


----------



## Shalimar (Feb 21, 2016)

Beautiful work Ina!


----------



## NancyNGA (Feb 22, 2016)

Beautiful Ina!  It's going to be nice.  Is that variegated yarn?   Or do you use different colors.


----------



## SeaBreeze (Feb 22, 2016)

Beautiful Ina, nice work!


----------



## tortiecat (Feb 22, 2016)

Brings back memories Ina - my mother had a loom and I still have place mats and doilies that she wove.
My mother was very talented and I have knitted lace pieces that are almost 100 years old.


----------



## Ina (Feb 22, 2016)

Nancy I used variegated yarn for the wefting thread. I used a small square frame loom years go, but this is my first heddle loom. So I am concentrating on the process more than anything right now, and the variegated will do for boys or girls baby blankets.

Tortiecat I spent a lot of time watching a grandmother work a loom, but nothing as complicated as this one.  I grew up sewing, embroidering, hand quilting, making moccasins, pottery, gardening, raising farm animals, and anything that I thought would be of use to my family.  Now weaving will take the place of my portrait work at least until I can get my eyes fixed so I can see to do it again.


----------

