# Forgetting.



## Falcon (Oct 11, 2015)

AS we grow older we begin to forget things.  I got to thinking about this and I got scared.

Some of the worst things I could think of would be forgetting how to recite the alphabet and/or my times tables or my
phone number, passwords, bank code numbers etc.

What would YOU be afraid of forgetting ?


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## Fern (Oct 11, 2015)

My bank account name & number


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## Warrigal (Oct 11, 2015)

Why do you think I call everyone Petal?


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## Ameriscot (Oct 11, 2015)

I forget names all the name and it can be embarrassing.  I write things down a lot or else I will forget them.


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## Linda (Oct 11, 2015)

Probably getting lost and not being able to find my house.  My husband and I both have cell phones so we can call each other in a store if we get lost and then we have a rule we never leave a store without the other one.  A couple years ago we were coming home and my husband pulled over and sat there for a few seconds looking around so I said "Why did you stop?" and he said "I'm trying to figure out where we are."  That was scary but it's 20 miles to a decent size town from our house and there are at lest 30 (probably more) ways we can get back home because there are orange and lemon groves all over with roads going every which way.  The hills and mts help us with our navigation too.  I am not as worried about passwords and bank accounts as our kids are pretty nosy and I know they would step in and help us if we needed it.  I also hope I never forget how to do my personal hygiene.  My mother-in-law died when she was in her 60s (she started getting confused in her late 40s) and she was so forgetful and fearful about it that she had little pieces of paper hidden around her room saying "My name is --- with her name on it."


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## Ameriscot (Oct 11, 2015)

Getting lost would scare me as well!  Or forgetting how to do something that I do all the time - like putting in my pin number when I shop.


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## Underock1 (Oct 11, 2015)

Falcon said:


> AS we grow older we begin to forget things.  I got to thinking about this and I got scared.
> 
> Some of the worst things I could think of would be forgetting how to recite the alphabet and/or my times tables or my
> phone number, passwords, bank code numbers etc.
> ...



My memories of my wife.


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## Linda (Oct 11, 2015)

That is so sweet Underrock1.


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## fureverywhere (Oct 11, 2015)

I think the important thing is trying to stay organized. I take after my Dad, the original absent minded professor. He would leave for work or a meeting and you could count how long before he came back for something...his briefcase, his umbrella, his wallet...which was in his briefcase...possibly his jacket but he forgot that too.

I do the same thing but give myself enough time to try to put everything by the door. Passwords and log ins fugedaboutit. Everything is in multiple phone books. As far as memories of people...I can still remember people's voices, my Mom, my grandfather, two favorite aunts, every detail of my grandfather's house that was important when I was a kid. Always want those memories.


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## Underock1 (Oct 11, 2015)

Linda said:


> That is so sweet Underrock1.



Also very worrisome.


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## jujube (Oct 11, 2015)

The four phases of getting old:

1.  You start to forget things.

2.  I can't remember what #2 was, but I'm sure it was important.

3.  You start to repeat yourself.

4.  You start to repeat yourself.


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## SeaBreeze (Oct 11, 2015)

Linda said:


> Probably getting lost and not being able to find my house.  My husband and I both have cell phones so we can call each other in a store if we get lost and then we have a rule we never leave a store without the other one.  A couple years ago we were coming home and my husband pulled over and sat there for a few seconds looking around so I said "Why did you stop?" and he said "I'm trying to figure out where we are."  That was scary but it's 20 miles to a decent size town from our house and there are at lest 30 (probably more) ways we can get back home because there are orange and lemon groves all over with roads going every which way.  The hills and mts help us with our navigation too.  I am not as worried about passwords and bank accounts as our kids are pretty nosy and I know they would step in and help us if we needed it.  I also hope I never forget how to do my personal hygiene.  My mother-in-law died when she was in her 60s (she started getting confused in her late 40s) and she was so forgetful and fearful about it that she had little pieces of paper hidden around her room saying "My name is --- with her name on it."



Very sad Linda, my aunt died from Alzheimer's, couldn't find her way home from a walk one day, and spiraled downward after that in a nursing home.  I fear the most forgetting who I am, or who my husband is...super scary for sure.  I actually take a spoonful of coconut oil daily to ward off dementia.


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## Linda (Oct 11, 2015)

Underock1 said:


> Also very worrisome.


Did you see the movie The Notebook, with I think, James Garner?  Its on that subject but it would probably make you cry in places.  My husband is so worried about losing his mind he won't watch any of the shows about people with Alzheimer's.  He's done a lot to keep it at bay though, like learning new things, he's usually working on a car or fixing something around here, and he won't eat or use anything with aluminum in it.  He keeps up on all the latest news on it.  We were both happy to hear that coffee is suppose to help.


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## Grumpy Ol' Man (Oct 11, 2015)

I probably fear dementia more than a heart attack or cancer.  We see so many our age unable to function as they have seen their mind deteriorate long before the body.  As "maturity" has set in, so has forgetfulness.  Played golf this morning.  Just was going to tell the daughter who was in the group when I suddenly realized I could not recall one of their names.  Took me three or four minutes before it finally sailed back through the fog and I was able to pick up the conversation.  I disguised it well, but these are the things that worry me.

I'm on the road a lot.  Sometimes I am not my own best company.  Scary thoughts go through the mind such as not being able to find my hotel or my way back home or which side of my truck the fuel cap is on or ..........  I spend many hours with crossword puzzles and Sudoku puzzles in an attempt to keep the mind exercised.  

I don't like this thread!!!  You've put gloom on the end of a beautiful weekend!!!  :>)


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## Warrigal (Oct 11, 2015)

I don't fear dementia. 

If I live long enough, based on family history, I will probably succumb to dementia caused by cardiovascular problems. I've watched and cared for some of my elderly relatives with this condition and because it comes on gradually it is not too distressing. I'm sure there are worse things to live with.

I am well medicated by my doctor and my approach is to live in the present as fully as I can. For the rest - Que sera, sera.


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## grannyjo (Oct 11, 2015)

My mother lived in a fairly small community.  She did suffer the early signs of Alzheimer's,  but was still savvy enough to know when she was lost.

She would approach the local taxi rank and ask if the driver knew who she was.  If they confirmed that they did know,  she would ask them to take her home.

As far as I am aware,  not one of them ripped her off regarding the fare either.

That was over 30 years ago now though.  Not sure if it would still happen the same way now.


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## fureverywhere (Oct 11, 2015)

Something we can all still giggle about. How many times have you said out loud "I know I came in this room for a reason".


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## IKE (Oct 11, 2015)

I was going to offer my thoughts on this subject but I forgot what they were.


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## Manatee (Oct 11, 2015)

Falcon said:


> AS we grow older we begin to forget things.  I got to thinking about this and I got scared.
> 
> Some of the worst things I could think of would be forgetting how to recite the alphabet and/or my times tables or my
> phone number, passwords, bank code numbers etc.
> ...



My wifes birthday & our anniversary


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## Linda (Oct 12, 2015)

Grumpy Ol Man, you mentioned traveling and being in hotels a lot.  That can be rough.  That is why I talked my husband into taking early retirement (at 62) and now we are both sorry I did.  He's been retired 8 or 9 years and is doing well but he doesn't have all the stress and pressure he had flying all over the country and sometimes getting into a city in the dark and have to be on a job site at 5 a.m. to supervise a truck of fixtures being unloaded at a store and then meet up with new workers and get them going.  Now all he has to contend with is my brother and I and we are harder to handle than a whole herd of carpenters.  Do you use a GPS?  I had to take ours out of the car and I put it in my purse if I think we need it.  The GPS just confuses him more and he argues with it.  I've had some scary scary times on the highway with him.  One involved a rainy night in Mississippi when we were going down the ON RAMP to a freeway.  We realized something was wrong when all the headlights were coming towards us.  Thankfully, lots of people honked at us and he was able to pull over and make a sharp right on to the freeway and get in with the traffic, instead of having a head on collision.   You said this thread made you feel bad, it makes me feel good to know I am not alone and that others have the same concerns I do.  It might be good if you either retire or get someone to travel with you though.  Being alone in a hotel can be hell.


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## Underock1 (Oct 12, 2015)

I've done that once myself, Linda. Have also gone through a few "Stop" signs. Those all happened more than a year or so ago. No mis-steps since, so its not necessarily the beginning of the end. I drove in the dark on snowy back roads as late as last year to get my wife to dialysis. No longer necessary now, so I am done with night driving. You have to force yourself to focus. I consciously think about every step I take. I kick my own butt all day long,


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## Linda (Oct 12, 2015)

Underock1 said:


> I've done that once myself, Linda. Have also gone through a few "Stop" signs. Those all happened more than a year or so ago. No mis-steps since, so its not necessarily the beginning of the end. I drove in the dark on snowy back roads as late as last year to get my wife to dialysis. No longer necessary now, so I am done with night driving. You have to force yourself to focus. I consciously think about every step I take. I kick my own butt all day long,


That's interesting Underrock1, that it isn't the being of the end.  I know that now, wish I had than.  Stop kicking your own butt and find something else to do.  There has got to be something for you to do. :sentimental: I think a lot of us enjoy your posts on here so that is one thing.


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## chic (Oct 12, 2015)

I mostly fear forgetting my bank pin and all my account numbers and passwords to my finances. I'm good with names, still but numbers begin to elude me. And I have way too many "Senior" moments where I'll walk into a room for something and forget what it was. As long as I can remember enough to always take care of myself the rest doesn't scare me much. A friend of my family's died of Alzheimer's and that was a truly miserable way to go.


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## Ralphy1 (Oct 12, 2015)

Fortunately I don't have a gas stove as leaving it on used to be the sign to send you to a home...


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## boozercruiser (Oct 12, 2015)

fureverywhere said:


> Something we can all still giggle about. How many times have you said out loud "I know I came in this room for a reason".



Yes F, I have done that many a time.
I remember a few years ago I thought Dementia was on the way, so went to the Docs. 
To try and make a rather long story short, it turned out that the Statin (Simvastatin) I was on was causing forgetfullness, and sore acky breaky joints.
I was changed to another Statin called Crestor (rosuvastatinum), and that made a big difference. I am now on 20mg a day of that particular medication to keep my cholesterol down below 4.

However, to this day I worry if I forget something or other that Dementia is going to get me.
I would want to be put down rather than be in a care home being spoon fed my morning cornflakes as I fall asleep for the umpteenth time!

Now then.
What was that I wanted to do today?


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## Ralphy1 (Oct 12, 2015)

I have two older sisters with dementia and I want out by whatever means if dementia comes my way...


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## Shalimar (Oct 12, 2015)

Me too Ralphy. Fortunately in Canada that will be possible.


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## Ralphy1 (Oct 12, 2015)

It is slowly becoming  reality here, but probably not soon enough in my state...


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## Shalimar (Oct 12, 2015)

Then I guess, one reserves pills for a dignified exit, should one be required.


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## Ralphy1 (Oct 12, 2015)

Yes, I plan to wash them down with an extra large martini...


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## boozercruiser (Oct 12, 2015)

I said in another thread that my Father commited Suicide when I was ony 7 years old.
He put his head in a gas oven.

This may sound odd, but to this day him doing that will help give me have the guts to commit suicide myself, if I were heading towards Dementia.

So if anyone notices that my posts are getting  'messy' and don't make any sense, then please tell me.
That might be the time to think about moving on and moving out of this world! 

What did I hear someone say?
'But Boozer, Your posts are 'messy' and don't make any sense NOW!

Cheers!!!


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## AprilT (Oct 12, 2015)

Due tô neurological disorders with a side order of getting up in years, forgetfulness has become a bit of a nuisance.  A number of very basic things have become bothersome, that's life I know I could be far off worse plus I get to to forget annoying people really fast ding ding ding, BONUS!

On it really is. A minus forgetting my higher math tables it's going to be a real bother when I come into that big winfall and I have to sit and decide where to place the zeros when I'm doling out checks the pool boy and others I'll I have tending to my needs about my mansion.  The worries, oh how,mine never have an ending.


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## Underock1 (Oct 12, 2015)

Linda said:


> That's interesting Underrock1, that it isn't the being of the end.  I know that now, wish I had than.  Stop kicking your own butt and find something else to do.  There has got to be something for you to do. :sentimental: I think a lot of us enjoy your posts on here so that is one thing.



Thank you for the kind words, Linda. I still have a lively interest in the world. Thankfully, we are in the information age. Aside from lousy programming on TV, that, and my PC keep me amused. Then I have you guys! Kicking my own butt has been a life long exercise. I need it, and its always handy.


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## Underock1 (Oct 12, 2015)

Shalimar said:


> Then I guess, one reserves pills for a dignified exit, should one be required.



I think about the pill option, but it seems too uncertain. If it doesn't do the job, and they find you in time, you're a real mess.
Not ready yet. Just thinking ahead.


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## Underock1 (Oct 12, 2015)

Ralphy, and Shalimar, what's going on in Canada? Passing assisted suicide? What are the requirements?

You know, reading the frequent posts on here, comments around the Web, and just talking to other people, opinion seems to be overwhelming in favor of having the right to choose your own death. Many do! People jump off buildings, gas themselves, take pills, and shoot themselves. They often endanger others in the process. So what's the problem? What's achieved by preventing them from having a safe, sure, and easy way out?


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## Underock1 (Oct 12, 2015)

AprilT said:


> Due tô neurological disorders with a side order of getting up in years, forgetfulness has become a bit of a nuisance.  A number of very basic things have become bothersome, that's life I know I could be far off worse plus I get to to forget annoying people really fast ding ding ding, BONUS!
> 
> On it really is. A minus forgetting my higher math tables it's going to be a real bother when I come into that big winfall and I have to sit and decide where to place the zeros when I'm doling out checks the pool boy and others I'll I have tending to my needs about my mansion.  The worries, oh how,mine never have an ending.



Don't worry, April. There will always be someone there to help you fill out the zeros. :yes:


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## boozercruiser (Oct 12, 2015)

Underock1 said:


> Ralphy, and Shalimar, what's going on in Canada? Passing assisted suicide? What are the requirements?
> 
> You know, reading the frequent posts on here, comments around the Web, and just talking to other people, opinion seems to be overwhelming in favor of having the right to choose your own death. Many do! People jump off buildings, gas themselves, take pills, and shoot themselves. They often endanger others in the process. So what's the problem? What's achieved by preventing them from having a safe, sure, and easy way out?



Being able to takes ones life, with help if needed, should be a no brainer if that is what a person wants and needs.
Particularly because of lousy health situations, and maybe in lots of pain.
I mean, if one owns a poor dog, cat, horse or animal  who is in a bad situation like that, out of Love one would have the poor thing put down.

Include me as well if I ever get into that rather unfortunate situation!!!


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## IKE (Oct 13, 2015)

I remember my mom telling me how my grandfather put my grandmother through hell the last few years of his life with dementia. Closer to home the lady two houses away told me the same thing about her husband who passed two years ago......his mood swings, didn't know her then he would, cussed her and accused her of being unfaithful and a whore etc. etc.

If it's in my power I have no intention of putting mama through that.

I've lived in the back of this cul-de-sac for thirty four years and about twelve years ago a fella that lived across the street and four houses up found out he had terminal cancer.......thinking of his wife and to avoid messing up the house I suppose he went in the backyard, sat in a lawn chair and shot himself while she was away.

I'm totally for assisted suicide and wish it was legal here like it is in a very few other states but since it's not I only hope I'll be able to do what needs to be done (in my mind) when the time comes.


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## Shalimar (Oct 13, 2015)

Underock, at present I believe the requirements set out are terminal illness, dementia, horrific chronic pain. The provinces have until the end of the year to come up with a concrete plan of law. We will know more in 2016, when the assisted suicide law will come into effect.


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## jujube (Oct 13, 2015)

The problem with the kind of suicide where you go out in the garage and shoot yourself is that you leave your loved ones with so many "questions" and "concerns"....i.e. "could I have stopped him?", "why didn't I know he was that depressed", etc., not to mention the shock of finding you that way. 

I'm all for the legal assisted kind, where you make your decision, you call your loved ones together and discuss it with them.  They may not be in favor of it, but at least they know there was nothing they could have done to change your decision.  The legal aspect is taken care of.  Then you take your "mercy cocktail", as it is sometimes called, and slip away, surrounded by those who love or who have, at least, told you goodbye.  

That is what I hope for for me when the times comes.  The boyfriend says as long as he's able, he will shoot himself.  I refuse to discuss that possibility with him.


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## Linda (Oct 13, 2015)

Shooting yourself leaves a bad mess for a loved one to find and they may not ever get over it.  If you must do it, don't do it in your own home or back yard.  Find a field somewhere and make sure you don't miss.  I know a man who has a disfigured face because he didn't die when he shot himself in the head.  That was several years ago so I guess he decided to let it go at that.


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## SifuPhil (Oct 13, 2015)

For many years now I've been building my mind palace, a practice supposedly started by the Roman philosopher Cicero. It is a technique in which you build a large house or mansion in your mind and fill the rooms with detailed "clues" as to something you wish to remember - a name, an address, a person - and which serves as a mnemonic device to then remember.

You should see the room I've built for SF!


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## Linda (Oct 13, 2015)

So Phil you are saying you don't want to forget us here on SF?  That is sweet.   I've never heard of anyone building a mental memory house but I have listened to DVDs of guided meditations where you build a room or house to go to for this or that, healing, remembering a past life or something like that.


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## SifuPhil (Oct 14, 2015)

That sounds like the same principle, Linda. 

It is also known as "the Method of Loci" ("Loci" being Latin for "places") and "mind palace", among other names.

A lot of memory champions have used this method. 

I always use visual clues but also sometimes auditory or aromatic ones. So, for example, my new SF room has a buzzing of conversation as well as an aroma of warm coffee and cinnamon. Other rooms, other sights, sounds and odors. I even have a pet room where all of the pets I've ever lived with are hanging out.


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