# Cat advice, please?



## Fyrefox (Oct 26, 2022)

Within the past month I had to say goodbye to my calico cat, who needed to be put down at age 16 due to kidney failure.  My other cat, a senior male, had gotten along well with the calico, and they often slept intertwined like lovers!  The female was spayed, BTW, and the male neutered.

Yesterday I brought home a two-year-old spayed female cat from the animal shelter, hoping for a nice addition and restoration of what had been, but the older male has been fighting with the new arrival, at one point driving her into my basement where I found her hiding!  I’ve had to place the new girl protectively in a crate so she won’t get assaulted.

Help, please!  Is this relationship doomed, or just part of an adjustment routine that will sort itself out?  I tried to facilitate the adjustment by introducing the new cat in a crate and keeping her there for some time, but after her eventual release the fireworks began.  Any advice is welcome…


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## Pepper (Oct 26, 2022)

My Buffy lost her brother/best friend Max in March.  He would have shared a birthday with Buffy in May, 16 years old.  I have been waffling as to whether Buffy would like a little friend or live out her life as an only cat.  I am very interested in this thread and can't wait to see replies!


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## Aneeda72 (Oct 26, 2022)

I am not a cat person but I think it’s doomed.  I am a dog person and it would be a doomed relationship for dogs.  I am not sure when an animal realizes their friend is gone for good and not just missing for a little while.  So the new “person” may be view as an intruder instead of a new (replacement) friend.  As the animal waits for their buddy to return.


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## katlupe (Oct 26, 2022)

I have been a cat person for most of my life. What I found with my various cats was that when I brought a new cat home my oldest cat would hiss and spit at it for about 3 days. Then I'd find her sleeping with the new cat. It seems she was setting the new cat straight on who was the boss. You can't go by that for sure though since they are all different. My son brought his cat to my house when he was staying with us. A very large neutered male who got along very well with my rabbit but was causing my cat to hiss and sound like a bobcat or something. Outside he would follow her and intimidate her. In the house she just had to see him and she would start her yelling. Even if he was not near her or looking at her.


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## Judycat (Oct 26, 2022)

This is normal cat behavior. Try not to get stressed out. Cats are weird. I've found making the new cat's world small and then slowly expanding it to be less trouble. Pick a room or the cellar and feed her there. She first needs a domain to expand her territory.


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## AprilSun (Oct 26, 2022)

It sounds normal to me. I've brought in so many cats over the years to join others and this is how they would act. It just took time for them to adjust to each other but they did.


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## Remy (Oct 26, 2022)

This is very stressful. It will take some time. Cats can take a lot of time. The crate is a good idea. Can she be put in the crate and brought closer and closer to your established cat? Also YouTube has videos I'm sure on cat introduction. Start feeding them in closer proximity perhaps. 

I don't think it's doomed at all at this point.


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## OneEyedDiva (Oct 26, 2022)

katlupe said:


> I have been a cat person for most of my life. What I found with my various cats was that when I brought a new cat home my oldest cat would hiss and spit at it for about 3 days. Then I'd find her sleeping with the new cat. It seems she was setting the new cat straight on who was the boss. You can't go by that for sure though since they are all different. My son brought his cat to my house when he was staying with us. A very large neutered male who got along very well with my rabbit but was causing my cat to hiss and sound like a bobcat or something. Outside he would follow her and intimidate her. In the house she just had to see him and she would start her yelling. Even if he was not near her or looking at her.


Kalupe, you beat me to the punch. I was going to suggest that Fyrefox watch Jackson Galaxy's advice on this subject.


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## JaniceM (Oct 26, 2022)

I've seen and experienced both.. and it doesn't seem to matter whether they're male or female, spayed/neutered or not.  Being territorial seems to be a natural instinct, but it doesn't bother some cats as much as others.


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## Gemma (Oct 26, 2022)

@Fyrefox It's going to take time and patience to get your senior cat to accept your new junior cat. 

I have 3 female senior cats.  When I brought in 2 kittens, (one male, one female) I placed the kittens in a spare bedroom.  I never gave the kittens free rein of the house when they were first brought in, nor crated them.  After the kittens got adjusted to their room, which took about 2-3 weeks, I opened the door and used a baby gate to keep the senior cats and kittens apart. The senior cats were inquisitive and would come to the gate to smell them on the other side.  We also played with toys on each side of the gate. At night, we'd close the hard door for the night, then re-open it in the morning.

When Gracie, the female kitten tried to climb the gate, it was time to block the senior cats in another room and let the kittens venture out into other rooms to check out their new living environment. They were cautious and many times, ran back into their room where they felt safe.  When they adjusted to being let out of their room, we made sure there were plenty of toys to play with. 

Slowly, we'd let one senior cat at a time, come into the room to check out the kittens.  We constantly praised the seniors and if they would go to hiss, we'd tell them no, behave.  We also used cat treats as a reward for good behavior.  All in all, it took 6 weeks to get them all together.  They have never fought. 

They all are fed in the kitchen.  Each waiting to take their turn at the dishes.  No fighting at all.  They all have their own room where they go during the day to cat nap and at night play quite well together. 

The kittens are now a year old, the Seniors are all 12 years old.  When they play, the seniors tire out and want to stop, they either give the kittens "the look" or a quick hiss, and then the kittens know to stop trying to get them to play anymore. 

At night, Gracie snuggles up to our black female cat, Missy.  My #1 cat, Babygirl, plays a lot with the male kitten, Gizmo.  And sometimes, the 3rd senior cat, Sox, gets the kittens fired up and they race around the house playing.  It's amazing to see how much "kitten" the senior cats still have in them!


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## Fyrefox (Oct 26, 2022)

Thanks to all of you for your good advice and perspectives!  I did have a better second day with the new cat than the first.  The problem seems to reside with the older senior cat who attacked the new arrival on Day 1, driving her to the cellar.  On Day 2, the older cat seems rather to be avoiding or shunning rather than assaulting the new one, which to me represents progress of sorts.  While it’s dangerous to ascribe human emotions to cats, there may be some resentment or jealousy here plus of course territoriality.  I’ll continue to enforce separation of the two while hoping for a gradual warming of relationships…


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