# Older men starting second families is fashionable but is it desirable?



## Ralphy1 (Sep 9, 2014)

Usually it is men who have divorced leaving children behind and taken up with a younger woman who has never had a child and wants one.  Methinks this leads to a kind of dysfunction that is keeping therapists fully employed.  Surely it takes no effort on your part to agree with me...


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## WhatInThe (Sep 9, 2014)

When I think older men starting families just look at the celebrities having kids around 60 plus. Tony Randall, James Doohan and now Steve Martin. The problem is two fold as I see it. The first is financial. Why should a child suffer the financial consequences of an old guy's desire to be a father again. Let's face it the older you are the closer you are to the end of your working and/or high paying career. Throw in a catastrophe of any kind, medical, home, lawsuit etc all of the sudden the new family and children are put through hardships that should'nt have been. 

The second IS age. Why should a young child, teenager or even young adult be put through the trauma of having a older parent get sick or die. The older parent might do fine the first 10 years or so but what happens to the child's mindset if their parent gets sick or dies at a critical time in their life. Even if sick should the child be burdened by trips to the hospital when in fact the parent should be burdened with trips to parent teacher conferences, a child's athletic event, play, dance etc. It's called childhood not old farthood.

To me a parent should be able to easily see their child through college, their first job, apt/home and kid. Any of these things could be affected simply by having to deal with old people problems and issues as a kid.


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## Justme (Sep 9, 2014)

It isn't fair on kids to have parents old enough to be their grandparents or great-grandparents. Children are tiring for young parents but particularly so when you are in your 60s+. I like seeing my grandchildren but pleased to hand them back to their parents at the end of the day. Having a parent who is likely to either suffer from age related illnesses, or die before their offspring have reached maturity isn't fair, imo


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## Davey Jones (Sep 9, 2014)

Starting a family at an old age will never give the kids the knowledge they need with 30/40 year old parents.


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## Lee (Sep 9, 2014)

It's got to be embarrasing for the kids to have to call some old coot Dad in front of his friends. Kids like "cool" parents and being a granpa age dad just ain't cool.


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## oakapple (Sep 9, 2014)

Is the problem having older parents, or that it's a second family? Two different things. Older parents who love you can never be a bad thing.Second families can have problems [especially for the poor children who have been left behind.]


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## Falcon (Sep 9, 2014)

Old men starting second families is a sign of growing old and not thinking straight!
\
If they still have some active brain cells left, They would think otherwise.  (IMO)


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## ClassicRockr (Sep 9, 2014)

Sort of funny, but could happen......
George Lopez was on the Queen Latifah Show one afternoon and he told her that he wants a lady his own age. Queen Latifah and her audience were quite shocked, being that that's not the trend very much in Hollywood. He said, "it's kind of embarrassing when taking a younger lady out to dinner, and while your in the restroom, your lady also goes to the restroom, you head back to your table and notice she's gone. You ask the waiter or host where she went and they say to you..........oh, your daughter went to the restroom. Nope, not going thru that" he told Queen.


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## drifter (Sep 9, 2014)

No, Lee is right; it's not cool, among other factors an older man should not be starting a second family.


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## atwhatcost (Sep 12, 2014)

Mom died. Dad remarried. Dad started having kids again when he was 51. His last son came along when he was 57. He worried about what happens if he dies before the kids grow up, so he got busy establishing trust funds for the kids.

It worked. My younger sister went to Syracuse U. on that trust fund. My youngest brother went through Penn State on that trust fund. Both have more money for when they get married. Oh, and Dad was the one who doled out that money.

Now it's a problem. Dad's 84 and has dementia. It's hard on the kids. The younger ones are only 25 and 31. The rest of us are 60, 59, 58 (me) and 44. It's hard on us too.

The 60 year old married and had two kids. They're in their late 20s and early 30s. He did divorce for a younger woman. They married, so he has two boys in grade school. Those kids' education is all set up too. Matter of fact, my brother is Dad's executor and a financial planner, so he's quite well off. He still does the root for the kids at sporting events and is trying to teach them golf -- his passion.

Yup, it's tough, especially since you seem to be forgetting people are living to be old enough to meet their great-grandkids now.

Exactly why shouldn't men have kids when they're older? I get it for women (although it's becoming more common for women in their 50s to have kids. Gawk!) And why should we feel bad for their kids?


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## GeorgiaXplant (Sep 12, 2014)

Why shouldn't men have kids when they're older? No reason why not _*unless*_ they aren't supporting and maintaining a relationship with the ones they already have. In that case, they have no damned business starting a second family.


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## drifter (Sep 12, 2014)

For me, I wouldn't want the responsibility of raising kids at an older age. I couldn't be a proper father, PTA and all that.


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