# People As Friendly Today As Years Ago?



## ClassicRockr (Jul 27, 2014)

From my observance..........NO!! 

Although, I was raised just outside a small farming town and most of the merchants in town knew my family. Of course that was back in the 60's, before that statement "don't talk to strangers" came to be from parents to their kids. 
My wife and I just happen to have "friendly" personalities. But, mine is somewhat more than hers. When either of us, out of the blue, say something to someone at Wal Mart or any other store, they seem to be totally shocked. It's a cordial "being shocked", but we can still see it in their face. 

A single guy use to live in the apartment next to us and I noticed that he'd never say anything to me. One day I asked him why and he said "when you are raised in certain parts of New York City, you learn fast to keep to yourself." I suppose he was right.  

As for me, I think it's a Generation thing. Heck, even at a church we attended a Service, it was only the Greeters that talked to us. "Tough crowd" I thought. Now, attending a Bible Study Class at the church was 100% different, but the people were our age and we were introduced to the rest of the people in the class. That was nice.

I just happen to have an outgoing personality that shocks some folks, some folks don't like, whatever. If a person is an introvert, somebody has to start the conversation! Then again, guess some folks just don't like talking..........that sure isn't me!!


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## SeaBreeze (Jul 27, 2014)

I'm not that outgoing, but I am friendly and often nod or greet someone who's passing by and makes eye contact.  Many people are quick to smile.  I was raised in NY, and my mother told me as a child not to talk to or go with strangers, good advice even back then.  I think people in general are less friendly nowadays, or maybe they're just preoccupied with their cell phones, etc.  I'm not looking to start conversations with any stranger, but there's many folks I come across at the park or somewhere, who I just happen to have a friendly little chat with.


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## Davey Jones (Jul 27, 2014)

From my observance..........NO!! 

From my personal view......NO!!


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## SifuPhil (Jul 27, 2014)

I think it's a little bit generational and a little bit environmental ...

Certainly as a former resident of New York (state and city) I can understand the stereotype of the silent New Yorker, but know that they aren't ALL that way - some of them you can't shut up.

Out in the "country" I think you still have mainly friendly people, albeit perhaps a bit tempered against new faces. Can't say that I blame them.

Growing up my folks never told me to clam up, just to be careful with people I didn't know. I was always on the quiet side anyway until I got into high school, then I started sounding like Walter Winchell with a news bulletin.


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## Meanderer (Jul 27, 2014)

SifuPhil said:


> I think it's a little bit generational and a little bit environmental ...
> 
> Growing up my folks never told me to clam up, just to be careful with people I didn't know. I was always on the quiet side anyway until I got into high school, then I started sounding like Walter Winchell with a news bulletin.


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## Denise1952 (Jul 27, 2014)

I know what you mean CR, I get the darndest looks when I am just talking to everyone I see at the grocery store.  I mean, I don't intrude on people, but if I get a smile back I will say something, that may lead to a conversation.  I don't like going grocery shopping, so maybe that makes it more fun to be up-beat about it

I like acknowledging people and yacking, kind of "never meet a stranger" well, usually no one "as" strange, or more strange then myself denise


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## Falcon (Jul 27, 2014)

I even talk to babies in prams.  Their parents love it.

Same with dogs on a leash.  I hold my knuckles out so they can sniff, and  I can even pet them.

   I've never been disappointed at any of the results.

  In a grocery store or at the bar, I'll smile and say a few words, but not really wanting to start a conversation;  unless THEY want to.


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## Bettyann (Jul 27, 2014)

I love people and I find them friendly. Growing up in small towns where everyone knew your business better than YOU did, was something I did not enjoy... Give me life in the big city and I'll show you a city full of basically nice people who love to respond to a smile, a compliment, or a good morning!


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## SeaBreeze (Jul 27, 2014)

I agree Bettyann, send out a good vibe and people will usually respond in a friendly way.  Some smiles and greetings usually make for a very nice day!  :happy:


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## hollydolly (Jul 27, 2014)

I grew up in the city too, and never spoke to strangers, but it was still friendly in our neighbourhood. I've lived in the countryside now outside the city for over 30 years and when it was a little one horse town it was quite friendly everyone knew everyone, but now it's grown to be a town of 30,000 people, hardly anyone speaks and if you spark up a conversation at the checkout or at the bus stop, it's always viewed with a suspicion as if you're a potential axe murderer, lol


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## SifuPhil (Jul 28, 2014)

I've noticed so many people that go around looking like Grumpy Cat.



Once you get to know them they're often the first to claim, "Nobody talks to me".

Look in the mirror, cat-dude!

Even in comedy clubs ... I've been in clubs where the comic is onstage doing their thing and the people look miserable, like they all just came from their latest proctological exam. Why are you even *there* if you're going to be that miserable?

You're killin' my buzz, dudes! 

Oops ... I just turned into one of them ...


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## rkunsaw (Jul 28, 2014)

I find people around here to be very friendly.


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## JustBonee (Jul 28, 2014)

rkunsaw said:


> I find people around here to be very friendly.



Ditto here.  
People, in general,  smile and wave and talk to you everywhere you go in these parts..


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## Justme (Jul 28, 2014)

People are very friendly where we live, almost everyone will say 'Hello' or engage you in conversation. My thrice daily walks often take longer than intended as people like to stop and chat with me.


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## Davey Jones (Jul 28, 2014)

Falcon said:


> I
> Same with dogs on a leash. I hold my knuckles out so they can sniff, and I can even pet them.
> .


That's a no-no in my book,I tell the kids to always ask the owner if you can pat any animal they have and to make sure the owners leash on the animal is tight before you pat them. I also tell them to stay away from pit bulls or aggresive animals. 
Some pet owners think they know all about their pets behavior,that's false .IMO


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## Falcon (Jul 28, 2014)

Davey Jones said:


> That's a no-no in my book,I tell the kids to always ask the owner if you can pat any animal they have and to make sure the owners leash on the animal is tight before you pat them. I also tell them to stay away from pit bulls or aggresive animals.
> Some pet owners think they know all about their pets behavior,that's false .IMO



  Hey, I know  all about that; I can sense the good from the bad.  Haven't had a bad experience yet.


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## ClassicRockr (Jul 28, 2014)

Well, for whatever reason, some folks are just plain not friendly or at least not that much. Actually, I think sometimes it has to do with previous relationships and/or marriages. I'm talking about abuse. Then again, some people just have a quiet and reserved personality. I think a lot of those people hang out in libraries.......only joking, but could be true. I was never the "intellectual" type, so a lot of reading and hanging out at local library wasn't my thing! I really wasn't much of a "quiet and reserved" type person, unless I was around women. Eventually I learned that I'd never meet a lady if I continued being that way. LOL 

At Wal Mart, or other stores, if I see a guy wearing a baseball cap and/or t-shirt that says something that interests me, I will say something to him. Same thing goes for a lady. 

As far as petting a dog goes, years ago I worked part-time as a Vet Assistant for 3 Vets. I pretty much learned the "let them smell me out first" thing. Actually, I don't know why anyone would have an unfriendly dog out in public. I've been around adult Pit Bulls, Doberman's and Rottweiler's that acted like pups and I had no problem petting them. Dogs can sense fear in people. If a person has that "fear", you should know what NOT to do!


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## Lon (Jul 28, 2014)

I am a outgoing gregarious person that will always greet a new person with a friendly smile. I don't see any difference in people over the years.


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## Athos (Jul 28, 2014)

This question cannot be answered as such. That is because friendliness is a very relative term that means different things to different people and cultures.
You need to define exactly what the word means to you. Also, friendliness depends on the immediate environment (neighborhood, village, city, etc.) as well as who you are by demographics (race, gender, age) and even your appearance (, obese, tall, short, smiling, and your clothes.) All these factors and more will
determine how friendly the other person will be to you. He/she may be very unfriendly to someone else at the same time. Obviously the person's mood
at the time matters. Females may not be friendly to some men if they think that this is a pick-up. Young people might be very friendly to someone
their own age but not to us older ones.  I have seen this numerous times. Prejudices or biases factor in.
  To me, friendliness is not merely polite talk in short sentences. It is a willingness to go beyond that freely, not because it is part of your job to do so or because you have something to gain (besides friendship) from this exchange. So I have no idea whether people are friendlier now than they were a generation or two ago.


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## ClassicRockr (Jul 28, 2014)

Have to agree with you on ALL of these factors.......didn't really think about them. Come to think about it, some of my high school classmates weren't that friendly towards me and other farmers b/c they didn't have the same lifestyle we did. Those that weren't that friendly were the "upper classman". They took classes that would get them into college, while us farmers weren't even thinking about going to college. So, "unfriendliness" was even going on back then, but it just seems to be more evident today. 



Athos said:


> This question cannot be answered as such. That is because friendliness is a very relative term that means different things to different people and cultures.
> You need to define exactly what the word means to you. Also, friendliness depends on the immediate environment (neighborhood, village, city, etc.) as well as who you are by demographics (race, gender, age) and even your appearance (, obese, tall, short, smiling, and your clothes.) All these factors and more will
> determine how friendly the other person will be to you. He/she may be very unfriendly to someone else at the same time. Obviously the person's mood
> at the time matters. Females may not be friendly to some men if they think that this is a pick-up. Young people might be very friendly to someone
> ...


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## Mirabilis (Jul 28, 2014)

During my childhood I knew all of my neighbors and during Christmas our doors were open and there was food on the table for people to sample.  It was one huge Christmas reunion.  Also, if anyone needed an egg or a cup of sugar, they would knock on the door and ask.  I don't really know many of my neighbors today except the ones next door and accross the street.  Even when I greet them, they seem to be very guarded and want to keep to themselves.  It's just not the same today as it used to be.


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## Ina (Jul 28, 2014)

Very good points Argos.:cheers:


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## ClassicRockr (Jul 28, 2014)

Now.......*THIS* is what I mean! Thanks for the reply!



Mirabilis said:


> During my childhood I knew all of my neighbors and during Christmas our doors were open and there was food on the table for people to sample.  It was one huge Christmas reunion.  Also, if anyone needed an egg or a cup of sugar, they would knock on the door and ask.  I don't really know many of my neighbors today except the ones next door and accross the street.  Even when I greet them, they seem to be very guarded and want to keep to themselves.  It's just not the same today as it used to be.


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## Meanderer (Jul 28, 2014)

It seems that us friendly folks have our work cut out for us!  We have to work harder to set the example and take the lead!  It's up to us to show friendliness to those around us! We have to be a friend, now more than ever!  I guess the question is "Are we up to it"?


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## SifuPhil (Jul 28, 2014)

Meanderer said:


> It seems that us friendly folks have our work cut out for us!  We have to work harder to set the example and take the lead!  It's up to us to show friendliness to those around us! We have to be a friend, now more than ever!  I guess the question is "Are we up to it"?



*Phil hesitantly goes up to Meanderer and holds his knuckles out for him to sniff*


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## Meanderer (Jul 29, 2014)

HAHA! *Sounds like a plan*


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## Warrigal (Jul 29, 2014)

SeaBreeze said:


> I agree Bettyann, send out a good vibe and people will usually respond in a friendly way.  Some smiles and greetings usually make for a very nice day!  :happy:



:iagree:


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## Ralphy1 (Jul 29, 2014)

I have such a fear of rejection that I only talk to people on forums...


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## oldman (Jul 29, 2014)

Maybe some places people are still friendly towards one another living in that particular town. The small town that I grew up in, which was about 1000 people, men would stop on the street or at the post office and speak to each other. As I pass through that town today, I very seldom see anyone outside, let alone any signs of friendly behavior going on. I believe that people are more transient today because of their jobs or have just decided to live elsewhere, so the days of having "old-timers" living in small towns may be gone. It is just another fact of life that grass root communities are fading into the sunset.


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## Bullie76 (Jul 29, 2014)

I have never lived in cities like Atlanta, Dallas, etc so only have small town experiences. In the smallish areas I have lived, most people have been friendly. I haven't noticed any changes over the years.


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## ClassicRockr (Jul 29, 2014)

Unfortunately, I think this is true, but there still has to be some small towns out there that still have that "friendly people" attitude going on.



oldman said:


> Maybe some places people are still friendly towards one another living in that particular town. The small town that I grew up in, which was about 1000 people, men would stop on the street or at the post office and speak to each other. As I pass through that town today, I very seldom see anyone outside, let alone any signs of friendly behavior going on. I believe that people are more transient today because of heir jobs or have just decided to live elsewhere, so the days of having "old-timers" living in small towns may be gone. It is just another fact of life that grass root communities are fading into the sunset.


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## ClassicRockr (Jul 29, 2014)

Another thing I found out about "friendliness"........it can depend on what you look like and how you act.
Example: When I visited Wyoming and Montana, years ago, I wore the Western garb that I would in a rodeo arena. I wasn't in these States for a rodeo, just to visit. I had on fairly worn Wrangler jeans, fairly worn Resistol cowboy hat and fairly dirty Ariat Lace-Up Roper boots. I *FIT IN* among the locals and didn't look like a tourist! I knew enough about cattle to go to a Stockyards Sale and knew about horses from owning a QH. People I didn't know talked to me and I talked to them! 

One thing for sure, any country person, whether it's a ranch cowboy, rodeo cowboy or farmer can pick out a "city slicker" pretty fast. I didn't have that problem! 

As for me, I really liked the small town atmosphere of where my step-parents farm was. As far as "everyone knowing what others are doing"...... didn't bother me or my folks. That is just part of "small town" living!  I still have that "small town" friendliness in me, but have no desire to live in one anymore.


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## oldman (Jul 29, 2014)

ClassicRockr said:


> Unfortunately, I think this is true, but there still has to be some small towns out there that still have that "friendly people" attitude going on.



I would hope that you are right. I have traveled all over the U.S as a pilot. IMO, I have found the people in the south to be more friendly, even in the larger cities. When I would have a day layover, I would sometimes rent a car and go for a drive out to the country to be among the tree huggers. I found those people to be the most friendly and never hesitate to give directions and then invite you in for a cup of coffee. I had this happen to me twice. Once in southern Tennessee in a town named Winchester and once in southern Ohio in a town named Cambridge.


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## WhatInThe (Jul 29, 2014)

Definitely not. Courtesy, politeness and respect are sparingly given. The most disconcerting are some of the customer service employees attitude towards a customer, the person who is going to pay their checks and bills. Especially in the big chain stores. Too many employees demand respect of the customer yet they are the ones paid to be polite to the customer no matter what. Too much of a 'I'm gonna cut you' attitude from people who work with the public.


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