# Tips for Surviving Australia



## Warrigal (Aug 28, 2013)

I was deleting a lot of useless old files from my computer today and came across this helpful information for people thinking of visiting Australia for the 2000 Olympics.

Posted for all our OS friends



> *Tips to Surviving Australia:
> *
> Don't ever put your hand down a hole for any reason whatsoever. We mean it.
> 
> ...



The reason I post these tips is because there are still a lot of people who are very confused by the very concept of A Land Downunder. Here are some questions that were asked of the Sydney Olympic Committee via their Web site, and answers supplied where appropriate. 



> Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
> A: Depends on how much beer you've consumed...
> 
> Q: Which direction should I drive - Perth to Darwin or Darwin to Perth - to avoid driving with the sun in my eyes? (Germany)
> ...


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## Diwundrin (Aug 28, 2013)

> Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
> A: Depends on how much beer you've consumed...



You know, I used to laugh at tourists who asked that when I lived in Sydney.  Not so funny now that the damned things are crapping  in my driveway though.


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## Jillaroo (Aug 28, 2013)

_* I have them sitting on the vacant block opposite the shopping centre, as far as i know it's not a bus stop*_


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## SeaBreeze (Aug 28, 2013)

Thanks for the tips Warrigal.  Me and hubby almost moved there when we were young, but his company decided not to branch out there after all.  We had our passports ready, and were excited.  Oh well, we'll have to settle for drinking our Fosters which is advertised as "Australian for beer"...but I think it's made somewhere in Texas, LOL. :cheers:


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## Warrigal (Aug 29, 2013)

Fosters beer gets around.



> Foster's Lager is an internationally distributed Australian brand of beer. It is also brewed under license in many countries, including the USA, Canada and the People's Republic of China. The European rights to the beer are owned by Scottish & Newcastle, who brew and distribute Foster's in most European countries including; the United Kingdom, Greece, France, Belgium, Portugal, Finland, Germany, Spain, Sweden, Ukraine and the Republic of Ireland. The brand is owned in India by SABMiller



I don't drink beer but I've been told that the very best Australian beer is Coopers which is made in Adelaide, Sth Australia.
http://www.coopers.com.au/


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## dbeyat45 (Aug 29, 2013)

I've developed a taste for _Toohey's Old_ after my recent visit to Newcastle (NSW).


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## JustBonee (Aug 29, 2013)

> Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
> A: Depends on how much beer you've consumed...
> 
> Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
> A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.



Good stuff!  ...Question 1 .. We get the same thing here ...  People, not familiar with Texas,  think cowboys ride horses on the roads here.   (finding a cowboy is hard enough!)  

And as for that second question ... love that! ... sooooooo many degrees of English ...


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## Diwundrin (Aug 29, 2013)

Boo's Mom said:


> Good stuff!  ...Question 1 .. We get the same thing here ...  People, not familiar with Texas,  think cowboys ride horses on the roads here.   (finding a cowboy is hard enough!)
> 
> And as for that second question ... love that! ... sooooooo many degrees of English ...





A Canadian friend once asked us if we thought what we were speaking was English. 

 
She didn't join us for a party night on a tour we did and I learned later it was because she couldn't understand half of what was being said.  We talk too fast apparently. I never noticed it until I spent some time in the States and had to slow up a bit or get looked at strange.

There aren't too many Croc Dundees or Steve Irwins around here either.   There are some but if you find them in the city you can bet that they're  frauds. 



I'll jump into this chance to share  a favourite song about the outback Aussie bloke, gone to the city and hating it.  I've known a few like him.
(_The Brigalow is a type of acacia tree of the coast and inland north, savannah forest, and 'yellow belly' is referring to the freshwater Golden Perch, not the snake.... just in case you were wondering_.)


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## That Guy (Aug 29, 2013)




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## dbeyat45 (Aug 29, 2013)

That Guy said:


>



That "Classified" stamp is right over the US Base at Pine Gap.  
[h=1]Australian outback station at forefront of US spying arsenal[/h]





Spies in the Never-Never: An aerial view of  Pine Gap, the joint US-Australian listening and 
 tracking base at the  foot of the MacDonnell Ranges near Alice Springs.

http://www.smh.com.au/it-pro/securi...ront-of-us-spying-arsenal-20130726-hv10h.html


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## Warrigal (Aug 29, 2013)

Boo's Mom said:


> Good stuff!  ...Question 1 .. We get the same thing here ...  People, not familiar with Texas,  think cowboys ride horses on the roads here.   (finding a cowboy is hard enough!)
> 
> And as for that second question ... love that! ... sooooooo many degrees of English ...


 Hubby and I were told in Hawaii that is we were planning to go Stateside we would need to learn English.
Cheeky bugger!


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## JustBonee (Aug 31, 2013)

*  [QUOTE]*Hubby and I were told in Hawaii that is we were planning to go Stateside we would need to learn English.
Cheeky bugger!*[/QUOTE]*

*Heck, people in the states don't understand each other!! layful: .. The slang from one part of the country to the other is drastically different..New Yorkers talk fast..  Southerners drawl...etc.,  it's kinda funny to listen to all the different dialect, and try to guess where people are from ..........  
*

*A little humor: 
Translating Southern United States Slang to English*

_Author unknown_
*HEIDI* - noun. Greeting.*HIRE YEW* - complete sentence. Remainder of greeting.Usage: "Heidi, hire yew?"
*BARD* - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."
*JAWJUH* - noun. A highly flammable state just north of Florida.Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."
*MUNTS* - noun. A calendar division.Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I aint herd from him in munts."
*BAMMER* - noun. The state west of Jawjuh. The capitol is Berminhayum.Usage: "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' lef $20,000,000.00 in improvements."
*THANK* - verb. Ability to cognitively process.Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."
*BARE* - noun. An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops an yeast.Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."
*IGNERT* - adjective. Not smart. See "Auburn Alumni."Usage: "Them N-C-TWO-A boys sure are ignert!"
*RANCH* - noun. A tool.Usage: "I think I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."
*ALL* - noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."
*FAR* - noun. A conflagration.Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh doesn't change the all in my pickup truck, that things gonna catch far."
*GRAIN* - adjective. A Color.Usage: "She was grain with envy"
*BAHS* - noun. A supervisor.Usage: "If you don't stop reading these Southern words and git back to work, your bahs is gonna far you!"
*TAR* - noun. A rubber wheel.Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh doesn't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."
*TIRE* - noun. A tall monument.Usage: "Lord willing and the creeks don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."
*HOT* - noun. A blood-pumping organ.*HOD* - adverb. Not easy.Usage: "A broken hot is hod to fix."
*RETARD* - Verb. To stop working.Usage: "My granpaw retard at age 65."
*TARRED* - adverb. Exhausted.Usage: "I just flew in from Hot-lanta, and boy my arms are tarred."
*FAT* - noun, verb. A battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat.Usage: "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh."
*RATS* - noun. Entitled power or privilege.Usage: "We Southerners are willing to fat for out rats."
*LOT* - adjective. Luminescent.Usage: "I dream of Jeanie in the lot-brown hair."
*PURDY* - adjective. Beautiful.Usage: "She is purdy as a pitcher."
*BAG* - verb. To ask.Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bagged her to marry him."
*FARN* - adjective. Not local.Usage: "I cudnt unnerstand a wurd he sed... must be from some farn country."
*YURP* - noun. A continent overseas.Usage: "I herd haze from Yurp"
*DID* - adjective. Not alive.Usage: "He's did, Jim."
*EAR* - noun. A colorless, odorless gas (unless you are in LA).Usage: "He can't breathe ... give 'em some ear!"
*BOB WAR* - noun. A sharp, twisted cable.Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."
*JU-HERE* - a question.Usage: "Juhere that former Dallas Cowboys' coach Jimmy Johnson recently toured the University of Alabama?"
*HAZE* - a contraction.Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah... haze ignert."
*SEED* - verb, past tense.*VIEW* - contraction: verb and pronoun.Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City ... view?"
*HEAVY DEW* - phrase. A request for action.Usage: "Kin I heavy dew me a favor?"
*GUMMIT* - noun. An often-closed bureaucratic institution.Usage: "Great ... ANOTHER gummit shutdown!"


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## Warrigal (Aug 31, 2013)

Good ones, Boo's Mum.
I'll study that list tomorrow.
It's bed time now (11.15pm)


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## rkunsaw (Aug 31, 2013)

People in the southern States have refined and improved the English language to near perfection. People in England ( where it started) and other English speaking countries and even the northern and western United States have not been able to keep up with all the improvements.

They are stuck in their old fashioned ways and can't seem to grasp the modern ( and very much improved) version of the language. 

:banghead:


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