# Dark Moment:s  Do You Have Them?



## Ruthanne (Nov 18, 2020)

Well, I can certainly say that I do...like when I want to shut the world off and say the heck with you...

I don't think it's bad to acknowledge that either as it's pretty human to feel these things....and especially in these times.  It all tends to get to me and I have to say the heck with it--in better terms. 

I deal with depression and anxiety daily and it can get crazy sometimes!

So, this is a thread to vent!


----------



## Jules (Nov 18, 2020)

Venting is good.  Sometimes you just have to say something.


----------



## Ferocious (Nov 19, 2020)

*Whistling!  Yeh, whistling helps me. *
*
I whistle in the bathroom, I even whistle as I walk along the lane........but then dozens of windows always open, and people shout out, "Oi, Kettle-Gob, go and make your noise somewhere else, preferably in Argentina."
*
*Of course, I ignore them, I walk slower, and I whistle louder, but that's when they start lobbing things at me.......I got home the other day with a pair of panties on my 'ead and a hairbrush in my lug-'ole. *


----------



## Lewkat (Nov 19, 2020)

Yes indeed I do.


----------



## Aunt Marg (Nov 19, 2020)

Dark moments or times visit me more frequently now than they used to, and I attribute that to age.

I've lived my best years already.

Life is bitter-sweet.


----------



## Ronni (Nov 19, 2020)

I have them. Not often, but sometimes I just slip into a funk.

And then I feel guilty because my life is good. I love, and am loved, by family. I have my health,  a job I enjoy, a comfortable home.


----------



## Aunt Marg (Nov 19, 2020)

Ferocious said:


> *Whistling!  Yeh, whistling helps me. *
> 
> *I whistle in the bathroom, I even whistle as I walk along the lane........but then dozens of windows always open, and people shout out, "Oi, Kettle-Gob, go and make your noise somewhere else, preferably in Argentina."*
> 
> *Of course, I ignore them, I walk slower, and I whistle louder, but that's when they start lobbing things at me.......I got home the other day with a pair of panties on my 'ead and a hairbrush in my lug-'ole. *


If it was anyone other than yourself, Ferocious, I wouldn't ask, but seeing how it's you, I just _HAVE_ to ask... what did you end up doing with the panties? LOL!


----------



## Kaila (Nov 19, 2020)

Yes, I do have them, and this year has been difficult that way, adding so much.


----------



## hollydolly (Nov 19, 2020)

..


----------



## RadishRose (Nov 19, 2020)

Sure I do. I think at one time or another, most people do.

Sometimes depression can be due to a chemical imbalance. There are drugs to help people with this.


----------



## Ferocious (Nov 19, 2020)

Aunt Marg said:


> If it was anyone other than yourself, Ferocious, I wouldn't ask, but seeing how it's you, I just _HAVE_ to ask... what did you end up doing with the panties? LOL!


*You may well ask, dear lady. 

Being the 'waste not, want not' sort of chap that I am, I did the sensible thing with them..........I made a covid mask for myself......everyone asks me where I bought it. *


----------



## Gaer (Nov 19, 2020)

Ferocious said:


> *You may well ask, dear lady.
> 
> Being the 'waste not, want not' sort of chap that I am, I did the sensible thing with them..........I made a covid mask for myself......everyone asks me where I bought it. *


Love it!!!!  You are one of a kind!!!!


----------



## ClassicRockr (Nov 19, 2020)

My wife got into a little depression looking for a job here, and being told in e-mails "I'm sorry, but". Now that she definitely knows the reality of a "forced retirement" is what she is looking, she is much better. 

However, we are more disappointed than any kind of depression or anxiety. We moved back to Colorado to do things we missed doing while living in Florida. Those things were cancelled. All we can hope for is next Spring/Summer.


----------



## Gaer (Nov 19, 2020)

There is more than the virus from China in the air.  When one thinks a thought, it releases into the ocean of thought in the atmosphere to be picked up by anyone with the same "wave length".  There is so much sadness in Earth's atmosphere right now.
It's imparative we send strong, positive thought out to the world.  The world needs this now more than ever!
I should add IMO.


----------



## Aunt Bea (Nov 19, 2020)

Yup!

I have my little pity parties then I try to count my blessings and think about how lucky I am to have such a comfortable albeit imperfect life. 

_“Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. The frequent attempt to conceal mental pain increases the burden: it is easier to say “My tooth is aching” than to say “My heart is broken.” - C.S. Lewis_

​​


----------



## IrisSenior (Nov 19, 2020)

I googled "dark moments" and it said "dark thoughts are sad and you are expecting something unpleasant to happen". Yes, sad at times but I try not to dwell on it and pick up a good book or listen to a favourite song or think of all the things I am fortunate to have in this life of mine.

As to "expecting something unpleasant to happen", well yes again as life is full of ups and downs and I try to appreciate the things I do have: love, health and prosperity and to give something of myself to others (like donating to a food bank or calling someone I haven't spoke to in awhile).


----------



## Nathan (Nov 19, 2020)

Ronni said:


> I have them. Not often, but sometimes I just slip into a funk.
> 
> And then I feel guilty because my life is good. I love, and am loved, by family. I have my health,  a job I enjoy, a comfortable home.


A lot of people do feel guilty, and of course there are those who would accuse you of being "un-grateful" for your blessings, but it just doesn't work that way.   Age related anxiety and depression


----------



## Remy (Nov 19, 2020)

I sure do. I don't have a good foundation in childhood and it affects how I deal with stress and everyday situations to this day. Nothing I have tried really changes it. I worry a lot.


----------



## MarkinPhx (Nov 19, 2020)

I am prone to depression and take meds for it. At times I am very drawn to that dark side which I know sounds silly but I know I am not alone in that. It is not a "wallowing in self misery and be a drama king type of thing", it is more like just giving up and isolate myself. For years I self medicated with alcohol and although it did provide a temporary feeling of numbness which I desired, my life became darker and darker. I am retired from alcohol now and have learned how to appreciate life more and to live in the moment instead of living in the past or worrying about a future that might not even happen. That has helped a lot.


----------



## Phoenix (Nov 19, 2020)

RadishRose said:


> Sure I do. I think at one time or another, most people do.
> 
> Sometimes depression can be due to a chemical imbalance. There are drugs to help people with this.


Prescription drugs or a drug of choice to cope are a bad idea.  My brother took them and killed his neighbors.


----------



## Sassycakes (Nov 19, 2020)

*Yes I do have many dark moments, especially with what is going on in the world today.*


----------



## Ruth n Jersey (Nov 19, 2020)

I have some dark moments which I think is perfectly normal once in awhile. What gets me so aggravated is when people around me think I should be happy all the time. 
So many times I get a look of surprise when I'm out of sorts. They say,"what's wrong with you?" as if I'm not suppose to have a bad day.
Sometimes I get tired being the one listening to sad stories and problems friends and family tell me. 
I have much to be thankful for but their are times I need to be sad, upset or a bit depressed. 
Lately I just tell my family, "I'm in a bad mood, and I want to be alone." 
I take a nap or do something I want to do. Generally the funk passes in a day and I am back on family duty.


----------



## RadishRose (Nov 19, 2020)

Phoenix said:


> Prescription drugs or a drug of choice to cope are a bad idea.  My brother took them and killed his neighbors.


Bad idea? That's a pretty broad brush your painting with Phoenix. In fact so broad, it seems foolish.

I take antidepressants and haven't killed anyone. Nor have many millions of others.


----------



## Phoenix (Nov 19, 2020)

RadishRose said:


> Bad idea? That's a pretty broad brush your painting with Phoenix. In fact so broad, it seems foolish.
> 
> I take antidepressants and haven't killed anyone. Nor have many millions of others.


The brain is controlled by chemicals and electrical impulses.  No one really knows how it works or what it can set off by adding other drugs.  Doctors just give out prescriptions.  Messing with the balance invites disasters.  So many people are less than they can be because of them.  No offense meant.  What I'm saying is a warning.  Please be careful what you ingest. My statement is not foolish.  I only said my brother had done it.  He was once a sweet boy.


----------



## Aunt Marg (Nov 19, 2020)

Ferocious said:


> *You may well ask, dear lady.
> 
> Being the 'waste not, want not' sort of chap that I am, I did the sensible thing with them..........I made a covid mask for myself......everyone asks me where I bought it. *


A frugal gent you are.


----------



## Ferocious (Nov 20, 2020)

Aunt Marg said:


> A frugal gent you are.


*Another time a pair of panties landed on my head I was in the town center where a bloke was 'busking', he stopped playing his accordian and said to me, " Hey, mate, do you know you've got a pair of knickers on yer 'ead?"*

*"You play it and I'll whistle it", was my reply.  *


----------



## MarciKS (Nov 21, 2020)

i have many dark days. and i have to deal with them on my own.


----------



## peramangkelder (Nov 21, 2020)

I suffer with depression and panic attacks and I have learnt to cope with dark times in my own inimitable fashion
I still would like to smash a few things now and again but I do restrain myself
I am however looking to purchase a punching bag....any suggestions?
Please don't say my dear huz because he is always right there to support me when I am in a funk
Yes he is quite probably too good for me


----------



## Devi (Nov 22, 2020)

Punching bag ... look for a store that sells to martial arts studios? Not sure how expensive they might be.


----------



## Liberty (Nov 22, 2020)

Gaer said:


> There is more than the virus from China in the air.  When one thinks a thought, it releases into the ocean of thought in the atmosphere to be picked up by anyone with the same "wave length".  There is so much sadness in Earth's atmosphere right now.
> It's imparative we send strong, positive thought out to the world.  The world needs this now more than ever!
> I should add IMO.


Feel we are at a pivotal point in life right now.  Choices we make as individuals and as states and nations really matter -its like the apex of the bell curve of energy swinging  - far left and far right. And its not just about the virus. 

Its like we had a whole whoop -ars can of karma opened up on us and we are now in "detox" to begin anew.


----------



## MarciKS (Nov 22, 2020)

This whole COVID thing is giving my anxiety a real workout. There's days at work if it weren't for meds they'd be hauling my cookies to the behavioral health unit.


----------



## Aneeda72 (Nov 22, 2020)

MarciKS said:


> i have many dark days. and i have to deal with them on my own.


You can always vent here, we are here to ease the I am alone syndrome.


----------



## Judycat (Nov 22, 2020)

Yes dark moments. Deep dark moments involving me killing another human being. Of course I know this is wrong, but imagining the clock ticking for a certain deserving jerk can be captivating yet nonsensical at the same time. Let's talk types of attack modes and implements.


----------



## Pepper (Nov 22, 2020)

Having one right now


----------



## Aneeda72 (Nov 22, 2020)

Judycat said:


> Yes dark moments. Deep dark moments involving me killing another human being. Of course I know this is wrong, but imagining the clock ticking for a certain deserving jerk can be captivating yet nonsensical at the same time. Let's talk types of attack modes and implements.


Let’s not.  @Judycat 

Deep dark thoughts of killing another human being are nothing to joke about, although we all have thoughts like this.  I attribute these thoughts to Satan, the big D, the guy who is the flip side of G O D.  I chase the thoughts away with a, I suppose mantra, Get Thee Behind Me Satan. 

I am not joking.  Besides, there are too many deserving jerks.

Have I had these dark thoughts, yes.  Did I impulsively ever act on them, kind of.  First marriage, I was very young, he was beating the crap out of me, as usual.  But now I had a baby, a disabled baby.  And I was tired of being hit.  Just plain tired of it.

It was 1964.  We had a room divider book case separating the living room from the dining room. I got away from him and ran behind the divider which was full of books, yeah, like that was safe-not.  In those days they were not attached to the wall.

He on one side, me on the other.  He said something, can’t remember what.  He was a deserving jerk, plus. I was younger in those days, stronger, had a baby to protect.  Yup.  I remember wanting to kill him, wanting him dead.  Missed him by that much.

He said “Do you know you could have killed me?”. Did I mention he was stupid as well?  In retrospect, I realized, later, I could have gone to jail, no self defense for wives back then.  What would have happened to my baby?  Wives were chattel back then.  He put the room divider against a wall after that.

So-Get thee behind me Satan.


----------



## Aneeda72 (Nov 22, 2020)

Pepper said:


> Having one right now


I am sorry, it happens.

A dark moment?  Venting is good for the soul and the mental health.  Vent away.  Here or in front of a mirror or in the shower.  Or throw a self pity-party invite candy and ice cream, they love to attend.  I should know, I am an expert at this


----------



## debodun (Nov 22, 2020)

I always feel as if I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.


----------



## Pepper (Nov 22, 2020)

Aneeda72 said:


> I am sorry, it happens.
> 
> A dark moment?  Venting is good for the soul and the mental health.  Vent away.  Here or in front of a mirror or in the shower.  Or throw a self pity-party invite candy and ice cream, they love to attend.  I should know, I am an expert at this


Thank you Aneeda.  I have a hard time talking about what bothers me.  It usually gets me nowhere. I'm trying to learn to just let go........Just meditated chopracentermeditation.com/experience.  Feel better.


----------



## Judycat (Nov 22, 2020)

Aneeda72 said:


> Let’s not.  @Judycat
> 
> Deep dark thoughts of killing another human being are nothing to joke about, although we all have thoughts like this.  I attribute these thoughts to Satan, the big D, the guy who is the flip side of G O D.  I chase the thoughts away with a, I suppose mantra, Get Thee Behind Me Satan.
> 
> ...


Too bad it didn't fall on him though.


----------



## Aneeda72 (Nov 22, 2020)

Judycat said:


> Too bad it didn't fall on him though.


Yup


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 22, 2020)

Really struggling lately.  With news of short antibodies lifespan and reinfection (five confirmed cases locally who were previously sick in March and April), I've lost my optimism that natural or vaccine herd immunity is going to happen anytime soon.


----------



## Aneeda72 (Nov 22, 2020)

AnnieA said:


> Really struggling lately.  With news of short antibodies lifespan and reinfection (five confirmed cases locally who were previously sick in March and April), I've lost my optimism that natural or vaccine herd immunity is going to happen anytime soon.


Well, herd immunity is never going to happen, so please put that thought aside.  It just is not possible.  I have done a 180 about the vaccine.  I was not going to risk it, but now I am.  I want to go see my daughter next year and my great granddaughter.

I have not seen my granddaughter and two great granddaughters, who live in town, in over a year.  Not because of the virus, but because she is a rude, selfish human being, and always has been.  Then the virus hit, and Bob’s your uncle, she finally has an excuse.


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 22, 2020)

Aneeda72 said:


> Well, herd immunity is never going to happen, so please put that thought aside.  It just is not possible.  I have done a 180 about the vaccine.  I was not going to risk it, but now I am.  I want to go see my daughter next year and my great granddaughter.



What's depressing me is that antibodies are lasting appx six months post infection and some people with mild or asymptomatic cases hardly produce antibodies at all.  Since vaccines are much milder than actual infections, I don't anticipate vaccine triggered antibodies to protect for very long.  If I were you, I'd wait until a month or so before you plan to see them to get the vaccine.


----------



## Aneeda72 (Nov 22, 2020)

But @AnnieA what in particular are you struggling with?  Just the general whole depressive situation we are all in or something more specific?  I struggle with the fact that so many lives have been lost.  It makes me so very sad.  I just don't have the words to explain how sad it makes me.

But we must all carry on, no matter how tired we are of masks, and isolation and doom and gloom.  Oh, and the boredom, some days I am so bored I could just sink into the floor which would, actually, be a change of pace and interesting.

Today my oldest son told me to stop making dad rearrange the furniture.  . Try and feel better.  It will end-one way or another.


----------



## Aneeda72 (Nov 22, 2020)

AnnieA said:


> What's depressing me is that antibodies are lasting appx six months post infection and some people with mild or asymptomatic cases hardly produce antibodies at all.  Since vaccines are much milder than actual infections, I don't anticipate vaccine triggered antibodies to protect for very long.  If I were you, I'd wait until a month or so before you plan to see them to get the vaccine.


Oh, for sure, getting the vaccine first.  Then, off to see them.  Daughter has a dog she might want me to take.  I am thinking about it, but he nips so not very sure.  Last thing I need is a dog bite.


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 22, 2020)

Aneeda72 said:


> But @AnnieA what in particular are you struggling with?  Just the general whole depressive situation we are all in or something more specific?  I



I've about lost hope that we're looking at an end to the pandemic anytime soon (even years maybe) regardless of infection rate or vaccines due to short-lived antibodies.


----------



## Autumn (Nov 22, 2020)

This will be my first holiday season without my husband, and the dark moments feel like they're going to overwhelm me at times.  He especially loved Christmas, he really went over the top in decorating, and this year I don't want to look at decorations and I resent the people who keep telling me I should decorate to "honor his memory".  I'm being a horrible person.  I resent my sister and brother-in-law for insisting on coming here for Thanksgiving.  I feel like I want to fall asleep and wake up in mid-January.  So yes, dark moments.


----------



## Aneeda72 (Nov 22, 2020)

AnnieA said:


> I've about lost hope that we're looking at an end to the pandemic anytime soon (even years maybe) regardless of infection rate or vaccines due to short-lived antibodies.


Well, hmm, it’s hard, for me, to reply because I can’t be what could be deemed political.  Changes are coming.  Will they be good changes?  Will they be bad changes?  Idk.  But there will be changes and I am so bored with the stand still and wait situation.  I have every confidence that I will get another stimulus check, that will make me very happy.

I think the virus will be with us for years, as well.  Because there is no herd immunity, the virus will mutate, and stupid people will always exist, and catch it. We will be wearing a mask for a long time if not the rest of our lives because we are old.

There are lots of things we have not seen the end of:  the flu, pneumonia, colds, yellow fever, HIV, Ebola, birth defects, diabetes, heart attacks, cancer the list goes on and on.But, we can deal better with the virus, as we deal better with the other medical issues, because we know more about the virus.  Just like we know more about other issues.  It is a learning curve.

The vaccines will help those that can be helped by it.  We can continue to do what is necessary to protect ourselves.  And we can go about our business in as intelligent fashion as possible.  We will adjust to the new normal, once we accept that there is a new normal.

There is still hope enough to go around.  Grab some of it and hold on tight.  It will still be a bumpy ride.


----------



## Ruthanne (Nov 22, 2020)

debodun said:


> I always feel as if I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.


I have times like that, too.  It's hard I know.  

I try to divert my attention to other things like cleaning, cooking something, putting on some relaxing music, watching a good binge series or concert on youtube.


----------



## Ruthanne (Nov 22, 2020)

Autumn said:


> This will be my first holiday season without my husband, and the dark moments feel like they're going to overwhelm me at times.  He especially loved Christmas, he really went over the top in decorating, and this year I don't want to look at decorations and I resent the people who keep telling me I should decorate to "honor his memory".  I'm being a horrible person.  I resent my sister and brother-in-law for insisting on coming here for Thanksgiving.  I feel like I want to fall asleep and wake up in mid-January.  So yes, dark moments.


All I can say is there's nothing wrong with being yourself and doing what you need to do to help yourself in whichever way you choose.  A long sleep can be a very good thing at times.  I try to ignore what well-intentioned people tell me I have to do that I don't want or need to do.


----------



## Irwin (Nov 23, 2020)

I have dark moments, as in the Jungian dark side or shadow meaning. I think we all have. Most of us don't act on those impulses, though. There have been times when I wish I would have, but we can't change the past. We can only protect ourselves so those kinds of things don't happen again.


----------



## Ruthanne (Nov 23, 2020)

Judycat said:


> Yes dark moments. Deep dark moments involving me killing another human being. Of course I know this is wrong, but imagining the clock ticking for a certain deserving jerk can be captivating yet nonsensical at the same time. Let's talk types of attack modes and implements.


You are not the only one that feels that way at times.  There was a time I did too.  I imagined every scenario about the person(s).  It went away though.  A lot of unfair things happen to us and others in this world and sometimes there is nothing else we can do but imagine them gone in some way or another.


----------



## Aneeda72 (Nov 23, 2020)

Autumn said:


> This will be my first holiday season without my husband, and the dark moments feel like they're going to overwhelm me at times.  He especially loved Christmas, he really went over the top in decorating, and this year I don't want to look at decorations and I resent the people who keep telling me I should decorate to "honor his memory".  I'm being a horrible person.  I resent my sister and brother-in-law for insisting on coming here for Thanksgiving.  I feel like I want to fall asleep and wake up in mid-January.  So yes, dark moments.


Christmas is always hard for me.  Our only biological son was born Christmas Day and died 2 days later.  I had eclampsia, convulsions, was hospitalized, had a emergency c-section, and never saw my son as he was taken to a children’s hospital.  In those days they didn’t take pictures.  But we continued to have Christmas for our other child, my bio son, his adopted son, and relatives.  But every year the memories of that Christmas flood back.

I share (or over share as usual) because I want you to know I understand.  Lots of us do.  Christmas, for a lot of people, can be extremely hard.  And, a first Christmas without a beloved husband or other loved one, especially hard.  People talk about closure, I believe the pain lessens over time, but I don’t believe in closure.

I am sorry that you resent your sister and brother in law, but that will pass.  It is clear they love you very much.  You are not being a horrible person.  You are still grieving.

I wish I had such loving relatives that cared so much for me that they would drag my ornery self out of bed, make me get up, cook a meal, (they will regret me cooking), and put up with my miserable self.  While we share stories about my baby and what he meant to me.  But, since his birth and death, in 1972 not one of those miserable people have ever mentioned him.  Not one.

I deeply resent that my horrific mother, who lived ten miles away and stuck her nose into my pregnancy continuously, critically, didn’t bother to come to his funeral.  Then again I have so many things to resent her for.

I merely suggest that they miss him too, and, perhaps, they are worried about you.  I hope you are able to get through Thanksgiving without too much sadness and grief.  I hope you can cook better than me.

Welcome to the forum.  @Autumn


----------



## Knight (Nov 23, 2020)

Ferocious said:


> *You may well ask, dear lady.
> 
> Being the 'waste not, want not' sort of chap that I am, I did the sensible thing with them..........I made a covid mask for myself......everyone asks me where I bought it. *


Thong or granny panties?  Thong seems like a waste whereas granny could have made several. Really important in the interest of being sanitary did you wash it 1st.?


----------



## Autumn (Nov 23, 2020)

Aneeda72 said:


> Christmas is always hard for me.  Our only biological son was born Christmas Day and died 2 days later.  I had eclampsia, convulsions, was hospitalized, had a emergency c-section, and never saw my son as he was taken to a children’s hospital.  In those days they didn’t take pictures.  But we continued to have Christmas for our other child, my bio son, his adopted son, and relatives.  But every year the memories of that Christmas flood back.
> 
> I share (or over share as usual) because I want you to know I understand.  Lots of us do.  Christmas, for a lot of people, can be extremely hard.  And, a first Christmas without a beloved husband or other loved one, especially hard.  People talk about closure, I believe the pain lessens over time, but I don’t believe in closure.
> 
> ...


Thank you so much for this post.  You have no idea how much comfort it gave me.  It really helps to know that someone understands and empathizes. I know that they miss him, too, especially my sister misses him, I don't really resent them, what you said about having someone to drag me out of bed, I know I should be grateful, I'm trying.  Again, thank you so much for sharing your own feelings with me.  I feel so much better.


----------



## Aneeda72 (Nov 23, 2020)

Autumn said:


> Thank you so much for this post.  You have no idea how much comfort it gave me.  It really helps to know that someone understands and empathizes. I know that they miss him, too, especially my sister misses him, I don't really resent them, what you said about having someone to drag me out of bed, I know I should be grateful, I'm trying.  Again, thank you so much for sharing your own feelings with me.  I feel so much better.


You are so welcome!


----------

