# "Why I hope to die at 75"



## Ronni (Mar 8, 2019)

https://getpocket.com/explore/item/...oTPzUsCZynBJEwZIYvz19S0b5KnjkVozBp8xgrg9RnIqQ


It's a long read and one that maybe only philosophy nerds will love, but he does raise some interesting issues related to aging and quality of life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There's so much I want to say about this article.  But I'll start with this:

_"health care hasn’t slowed the aging process so much as it has slowed the dying process. And....... the contemporary dying process has been elongated."_

I am ambivalent about this statement. I understand in theory what the author is talking about. But "the dying process" is also a state of mind, and I don't believe that slowing down with age, health restrictions, disease etc., is simply the dying process in slow motion. Adjusting to limitations as we age is a LIVING process, not a dying one. 

I respect the author's decision, though I vehemently disagree with that decision for myself. Bodies degenerate at different rates depending on a dizzying array of factors ranging from genetics to healthy living to just plain luck, and I have certainly slowed down as I've aged. But my enjoyment of life hasn't decreased in the slightest, in fact it's increased markedly because my joie de vivre isn't solely dependent on my functional mobility. Yes it plays a part. But so does my mental health and outlook on life and and my profound intention to live my BEST life every single day, which includes adjusting to my physical and mental limitations. I am living my life, not dying from its limitations.


----------



## retiredtraveler (Mar 8, 2019)

Ronni said:


> .....I respect the author's decision, though I vehemently disagree with that decision for myself. Bodies degenerate at different rates depending on a dizzying array of factors ranging from genetics to healthy living to just plain luck, and I have certainly slowed down as I've aged. But my enjoyment of life hasn't decreased in the slightest, in fact it's increased markedly because my joie de vivre isn't solely dependent on my functional mobility...... I am living my life, not dying from its limitations.



Exactly. There is just so much variation among us in the aging process, that is, how 'well' we age. I'm one of those nerds who sticks to good diet and daily workouts, and fully believes in that phrase: 
_“I don't run to add days to my life, I run to add life to my days.”  _Retirement has been good to myself and the wife. How long it will last, don't know.


----------



## oldman (Mar 8, 2019)

I understand his thinking, however, I also believe his thinking is somewhat skewed. We all know someone that is 80+ and is still very mobile, looks more like they are maybe 60 and have complete quality of life. I know that this person is more the exception than the rule.

My feeling and philosophy is to live as long as I can, do the best that I can to stay healthy and enjoy each day as much as I am able to. If I should become very ill or injured to the point that I become bed-ridden, then I am willing to deal with it.

But, until that time, I plan on making the most and best of everyday that the good Lord allows me. Life is a gift and it’s up to each of us to enjoy that gift as we would any other gift.


----------



## Don M. (Mar 8, 2019)

Age is somewhat irrelevant....the Important thing is "quality of life".  If a person tries to stay fit and active, they can enjoy many years of Retirement.  However, if they don't take care of their health, the "golden years" can be filled with little more than doctor visits, drugs, and misery.


----------



## hollydolly (Mar 8, 2019)

This is one of our top tv presenters, he doesn't do much tv any more, but at 86 years old.. ( this Video was made 4 weeks ago)... he's in fabulous condition for his age ... despite living with prostate cancer.. 






This was him walking in the park just 6 days ago....







This is one of our radio presenters, Nicholas Parsons a tv and radio presenter, he's 95 years and still hosting a panel game called ''Just a minute'' and has done for 40 years or more... where everyone's brains have to work very fast.. 





Just a small example to prove that if quality of life prevails, then age is but a number


----------



## Keesha (Mar 8, 2019)

Don M. said:


> Age is somewhat irrelevant....the Important thing is "quality of life".  If a person tries to stay fit and active, they can enjoy many years of Retirement.  However, if they don't take care of their health, the "golden years" can be filled with little more than doctor visits, drugs, and misery.


I agree completely. Quality of life trumps quantity of life by far!


----------



## WhatInThe (Mar 8, 2019)

As DonM said it's the quality of life.

I don't how old this blogger is but for starters he's touting a mindset from a WHO song from the 1960s I think('hope I die before I get old'). The hippie and war protesting generation drenched in rebellion. Also not trying to bring politics into it but with all his charts, graphs, numbers etc sounds like he's a 'death panel' type guy. I don't think this is as philosophical argument as it may seem.

That being said I think many as they approach or enter their senior years in some respects life is much easier allowing time for think about things much more and throwing many into new territory in which they are at a loss. I've seen it. I know several worried about running out of money before they pass, decades ago passing was a greater possibility than bankruptcy. Also too many have been groomed seniors can't exercise and supposed to do nothing, relax etc. It's not like that anymore. No more 30 years and a gold watch. Many will have to work and worry as they did 1/2 their age. It's not a bad thing but you're groomed that shouldn't or won't happen and that throws people.


----------



## norman (Mar 8, 2019)

*I am not going to worry about it...think about it or wonder why I didn't follow a healthy life style when I was younger...Do to an incident that happened a few years ago, I should not be here, but I am and enjoy every minute.  But, I am going down hill fast,  Where is Dr. Kevorkian, never mind he went on to Happy Hunting Land.  :tongue:*


----------



## WhatInThe (Mar 8, 2019)

norman said:


> *I am not going to worry about it...think about it or wonder why I didn't follow a healthy life style when I was younger...Do to an incident that happened a few years ago, I should not be here, but I am and enjoy every minute.  But, I am going down hill fast,  Where is Dr. Kevorkian, never mind he went on to Happy Hunting Land.  :tongue:*



That's the thing. Theoretically one can check out anytime they want to. If you don't make a choice one will be made for you. So why ponder a decision with only one outcome.


----------



## norman (Mar 8, 2019)

*My Pallbearers are going to be disappointed, because I recently decided  to choose cremation,  since I have out lived all my close friends, except one.  Hell there was no one left to attend, so why have a funeral.   Last week a friend passed who was one of the gang that got together every Saturday at the local Pub to play shuffle board and laugh and drink PBR.  We eventually drifted apart and I wasn't even sure he was till around.  It certainly is a sobering thought, I may just go get some PBR and get shit faced .:dunno:*


----------



## Keesha (Mar 8, 2019)

:lofl: norman

Sorry about your friend though. :love_heart:


----------



## norman (Mar 8, 2019)

WhatInThe said:


> That's the thing. Theoretically one can check out anytime they want to. If you don't make a choice one will be made for you. So why ponder a decision with only one outcome.


:thumbsup1:


----------



## norman (Mar 8, 2019)

Keesha said:


> :lofl: norman
> 
> Sorry about your friend though. :love_heart:[/QUOTE
> 
> TKS


----------



## Aneeda72 (Mar 10, 2019)

I had to laugh a little when I saw this thread.

My life expectancy according to one doctor is 75.  Since I am 72 it's getting close.  I wasn't too concerned but now that it's closer, hmm, I might be.  I'm not afraid of dying but I am concerned for my son with DS.  He will be heartbroken. Then again he will be heartbroken whenever I die.

Oh, well, maybe I won't die at 75.  It is what it is.


----------



## norman (Mar 10, 2019)

WhatInThe said:


> As DonM said it's the quality of life.
> 
> I don't how old this blogger is but for starters he's touting a mindset from a WHO song from the 1960s I think('hope I die before I get old'). The hippie and war protesting generation drenched in rebellion. Also not trying to bring politics into it but with all his charts, graphs, numbers etc sounds like he's a 'death panel' type guy. I don't think this is as philosophical argument as it may seem.
> 
> That being said I think many as they approach or enter their senior years in some respects life is much easier allowing time for think about things much more and throwing many into new territory in which they are at a loss. I've seen it. I know several worried about running out of money before they pass, decades ago passing was a greater possibility than bankruptcy. Also too many have been groomed seniors can't exercise and supposed to do nothing, relax etc. It's not like that anymore. No more 30 years and a gold watch. Many will have to work and worry as they did 1/2 their age. It's not a bad thing but you're groomed that shouldn't or won't happen and that throws people.



*Well said, WhatInThe..*


----------



## john19485 (Aug 5, 2019)

I hate to live, I hate to die, been hard for me to be happy, I put out that happy face all the time, but have had a lot of coffee friends, but no real friends sense Vietnam, some guy the other day read about me , now he wants to be friends. IF I die now my wife gets half of my two retirements,  she would have a lot of adjustments to make, the grand kids count on me as a backup, so do the kids. My mom died at 74, my sister died at 74, my dad at 48, my grandfather at 61, I'm 71, I walk everyday , watch what I eat, been wounded in Vietnam several times , caused a lot of issues,


----------



## AZ Jim (Aug 5, 2019)

I have no good reason to go on living but don't plan on taking matters into my own hands.  In about 7 weeks I'll be 83.  My wife is gone, my only brother has Alzheimer disease and cannot speak, my grandchildren have grown and have children of their own.  I see my granddaughter maybe once a year for a couple of days at a time.  My estate is in a trust for the grandkids.  My friends (real life) are either dead or out of reach.  The high point of my week is when my paid housekeeper is here for 3 hours. She talks with me and even makes me laugh.   I can't walk safely without my rollator, I fall easily and have very poor balance.  My copd makes just moving around difficult due to breath loss.  I have to try to do my cooking, it's not like I got when my Detta was here but it usually fills me.  As much as I care for you guys it's lonely for me in real life.  I am so thankful that you take up my lonely days.  I don't mean to bring anyone down but this is a candid look at my life in view of the OP.  I get my groceries delivered and usually get some help for my doctor appointments..


----------



## Olivia (Aug 5, 2019)

Okay, this guy, who we've heard about and discussed about before, whats to die at 75, then I say just do it, instead of talking about it.  Why does he think he's so special that he needs to make his personal wishes known to the world? I personally don't give a rip. There are people in my life who've died at  around 75 and earlier, and I resent his making it into some kind of sacrifice and maybe a model for the rest of us. I don't need anything more from this person except for reading his obituary. Then that will be news.


----------



## JustBonee (Aug 5, 2019)

Good Golly !   ....  really don't care for the title of this  thread... being 75 - I've got things to do yet!    And it doesn't involve doctor visits!!


----------



## win231 (Aug 5, 2019)

Don M. said:


> Age is somewhat irrelevant....the Important thing is "quality of life".  If a person tries to stay fit and active, they can enjoy many years of Retirement.  However, if they don't take care of their health, the "golden years" can be filled with little more than doctor visits, drugs, and misery.



You are mistaken.  Not all people who try to stay fit & active are free of disease.  I know many fitness/health buffs who contracted illnesses such as M.S. & cancer through no fault of their own.
Your positive attitude is fine; generalizations & implications that every illness is the patient's own fault is nonsensical.
For people who are 90-100 & active & look 60-70, luck & genetics have more to do with it than anything else.


----------



## hypochondriac (Aug 5, 2019)

Im ashamed to say Im 61 and don't have a strong desire to live much past 70. I will of course hang around as needed for partner and dog. I don't suffer nearly as much as some of the members on here. Just Im getting tired and the future doesn't look bright physically or financially.  I wish I had that awesome will to live that people have despite their problems. I pray that God would send me some of that life force.


----------



## tortiecat (Aug 5, 2019)

I have so much respect for you AZJim!  You have been so strong since losing your beloved wife.
Somehow we all seem to find the strength to carry on.  I am several years older than you are and
I thank the lord for each day that I wake up!


----------



## Olivia (Aug 5, 2019)

Life is all about expectations, isn't it? Learning to be happy with what you've got, or if not, then finding one's passion, makes the life we've been given hopefully then worth living.


----------



## DaveA (Aug 5, 2019)

It's too late for me to end it at 75.  I'm heading for 86 at the moment and still enjoy life, albeit at a slower pace.  My wife's 83 and is more mobile than I.  Both of us still drive and (so far) I can still make the 200+ mile trips to Maine for a stay, and that includes the nightmares of Boston traffic . 

We all age at a different pace and trying to stay active and keep the weight down will help.  But IMHO good genes will trump the treadmill and weight lifting 99 times out of 100 !


----------



## hypochondriac (Aug 5, 2019)

DaveA said:


> It's too late for me to end it at 75.  I'm heading for 86 at the moment and still enjoy life, albeit at a slower pace.  My wife's 83 and is more mobile than I.  Both of us still drive and (so far) I can still make the 200+ mile trips to Maine for a stay, and that includes the nightmares of Boston traffic .
> 
> We all age at a different pace and trying to stay active and keep the weight down will help.  But IMHO good genes will trump the treadmill and weight lifting 99 times out of 100 !


What jeans do you recommend? Denim or corduroy?


----------



## Keesha (Aug 5, 2019)

win231 said:


> You are mistaken.  Not all people who try to stay fit & active are free of disease.  I know many fitness/health buffs who contracted illnesses such as M.S. & cancer through no fault of their own.
> Your positive attitude is fine; generalizations & implications that every illness is the patient's own fault is nonsensical.
> For people who are 90-100 & active & look 60-70, luck & genetics have more to do with it than anything else.


I totally disagree with you.
Genetics play an important part in all this but proper diet , exercise and lifestyle have a HUGE impact on overall health. Genetics play about 5 to 10% at most.


----------



## Keesha (Aug 5, 2019)

hypochondriac said:


> Im ashamed to say Im 61 and don't have a strong desire to live much past 70. I will of course hang around as needed for partner and dog. I don't suffer nearly as much as some of the members on here. Just Im getting tired and the future doesn't look bright physically or financially.  I wish I had that awesome will to live that people have despite their problems. I pray that God would send me some of that life force.



What? Of course you’ll hang around for your dog and partner!!!

Oh man. We are worlds apart. I’m almost 60 and I’m nowhere near you . 

Thank GOD! 
Like seriously. lol


----------



## Butterfly (Aug 6, 2019)

AZ Jim said:


> I have no good reason to go on living but don't plan on taking matters into my own hands.  In about 7 weeks I'll be 83.  My wife is gone, my only brother has Alzheimer disease and cannot speak, my grandchildren have grown and have children of their own.  I see my granddaughter maybe once a year for a couple of days at a time.  My estate is in a trust for the grandkids.  My friends (real life) are either dead or out of reach.  The high point of my week is when my paid housekeeper is here for 3 hours. She talks with me and even makes me laugh.   I can't walk safely without my rollator, I fall easily and have very poor balance.  My copd makes just moving around difficult due to breath loss.  I have to try to do my cooking, it's not like I got when my Detta was here but it usually fills me.  As much as I care for you guys it's lonely for me in real life.  I am so thankful that you take up my lonely days.  I don't mean to bring anyone down but this is a candid look at my life in view of the OP.  I get my groceries delivered and usually get some help for my doctor appointments..



Jim, you are important to all of us here.  

You might not know it, but you're an inspiration to me especially on down days.  

How's your cooking going?  Have you tried that beef roast yet?  Did you get that nonstick pan unstuck?  Did you get a good cookbook?


----------



## Trade (Aug 6, 2019)




----------



## rgp (Aug 6, 2019)

DaveA said:


> It's too late for me to end it at 75.  I'm heading for 86 at the moment and still enjoy life, albeit at a slower pace.  My wife's 83 and is more mobile than I.  Both of us still drive and (so far) I can still make the 200+ mile trips to Maine for a stay, and that includes the nightmares of Boston traffic .
> 
> We all age at a different pace and trying to stay active and keep the weight down will help.  But IMHO good genes will trump the treadmill and weight lifting 99 times out of 100 !



 Agree here.....


----------



## rgp (Aug 6, 2019)

Olivia said:


> Life is all about expectations, isn't it? Learning to be happy with what you've got, or if not, then finding one's passion, makes the life we've been given hopefully then worth living.



 You & I disagree allot ..... but here we are in lockstep.


----------



## rgp (Aug 6, 2019)

win231 said:


> You are mistaken.  Not all people who try to stay fit & active are free of disease.  I know many fitness/health buffs who contracted illnesses such as M.S. & cancer through no fault of their own.
> Your positive attitude is fine; generalizations & implications that every illness is the patient's own fault is nonsensical.
> For people who are 90-100 & active & look 60-70, luck & genetics have more to do with it than anything else.


----------



## rgp (Aug 6, 2019)

oldman said:


> I understand his thinking, however, I also believe his thinking is somewhat skewed. We all know someone that is 80+ and is still very mobile, looks more like they are maybe 60 and have complete quality of life. I know that this person is more the exception than the rule.
> 
> My feeling and philosophy is to live as long as I can, do the best that I can to stay healthy and enjoy each day as much as I am able to. If I should become very ill or injured to the point that I become bed-ridden, then I am willing to deal with it.
> 
> But, until that time, I plan on making the most and best of everyday that the good Lord allows me. Life is a gift and it’s up to each of us to enjoy that gift as we would any other gift.




  Life is a gift as long as we have our health ... when that starts to go, it can be a task.


----------



## win231 (Aug 6, 2019)

Keesha said:


> I totally disagree with you.
> Genetics play an important part in all this but proper diet , exercise and lifestyle have a HUGE impact on overall health. Genetics play about 5 to 10% at most.



^^^ An example of wishful thinking, inspired by the need to believe we're in control.


----------



## rgp (Aug 6, 2019)

Keesha said:


> I totally disagree with you.
> Genetics play an important part in all this but proper diet , exercise and lifestyle have a HUGE impact on overall health. Genetics play about 5 to 10% at most.




 No point in getting into a pissin' contest witcha' but.........I have had two docs tell me that diet, meds, & exercise are but tools we use to fight time & genetics. Time deteriorates our bodies, and genetics determine how quickly. One even said genetics is about 80% of our battle.


----------



## Lara (Aug 6, 2019)

I'm leaving this one up to our Creator. 
Only He knows the perfect timing. 
Only He knows when I no longer have a purpose. 
I'll try to look beyond earth's shadows. 
I'll try to trust God's will.
Whether I'm still standing or not, I'll focus on my purpose.
When my work is complete, He'll call me home.

Right now I'm alone and unable to drive due to my broken shoulder and hurt knees. But God is watching how giving, loving, faithful, and compassionate my daughter is as she cheerfully rearranges her busy schedule (owns a business) and puts me first. I see Him teaching her patience and tolerance with me...and how would He do that if I weren't still here? 

Meanwhile, He's teaching me humility and gratitude amidst suffering. He led me to a true-story 5-star powerful movie the other night called "I Can Only Imagine" (now on Amazon Prime) and I was so moved that I found myself thanking Him for my injury because I'm so grateful to see Him present in this journey and giving me a story to someday write about...but I'm still in my story for now. ❤


----------



## Shalimar (Aug 6, 2019)

I come from a family whose life expectancy seems to increase with each generation. We are blessed to have had no deaths from cancer, no debilitating chronic diseases  which can severely compromise one’s life. This good fortune can be traced as far back as my great grandparents on

both sides. That said, when we do succumb, it can be attributed to either heart attack or stroke. As of yet, no propensity for dementia, although that may change as we continue to edge ever

closer to surviving the century mark. I truly believe this longevity is almost entirely due to genetics. Seventy five is not considered old amongst us. We certainly would not wish to die while

we are still enjoying life to the fullest, should a time come when my quality of life is terminally compromised,  then I choose to cut the cord which binds me to this world, and ride the wind to the next adventure.


----------



## Buckeye (Aug 6, 2019)

Keesha said:


> I totally disagree with you.
> Genetics play an important part in all this but proper diet , exercise and lifestyle have a HUGE impact on overall health. Genetics play about 5 to 10% at most.



Tell that to my late wife, who did all the right things relating to diet/exercise/life style and died at 56 from ALS.


----------



## win231 (Aug 6, 2019)

Buckeye said:


> Tell that to my late wife, who did all the right things relating to diet/exercise/life style and died at 56 from ALS.


Sorry for your loss.  There are many illnesses that we have no control of & the "Experts" have no idea what causes them.


----------



## Keesha (Aug 6, 2019)

Buckeye said:


> Tell that to my late wife, who did all the right things relating to diet/exercise/life style and died at 56 from ALS.


I’m not saying it’s fail proof and I’m so sorry for your loss.


----------



## hypochondriac (Aug 6, 2019)

Lara said:


> I'm leaving this one up to our Creator.
> Only He knows the perfect timing.
> Only He knows when I no longer have a purpose.
> I'll try to look beyond earth's shadows.
> ...


Praise the Lord!


----------

