# Why I prefer these kinds of forums



## BlunderWoman (Oct 30, 2016)

To each his own. Some people like facebook, but I like the anonymity a forum like this provides. Also I like the fact that it's all seniors here. I was on facebook for a while. I really hated it. I don't really like all my business in the street. Do I really want all my worlds to collide on one page? Hell no. Do I want an acquaintance I respect but do not know well to read what every far relative or relative by proxy is saying or doing? No. Do I want people I don't know well to keep seeing a relative I have that seems to have never grown up still doing nothing but partying almost every night and posting drunk cell phone photo after drunk cell phone photo at this bar and that bar? Nope. In my family we never discuss politics because it causes loud arguments and hurt feelings. I never posted about politics on my FB page. Then one relative I had stalked me to a website where I had posted something about politics and then quoted me and called me by my FULL freaking name and then said " Sharon ****** ! I never knew you were such a complete idiot ..blah blah blah." It was embarrassing because she announced she was my relative and said my full name. I was stunned. She had followed me all over to see where I was posting. WHAT THE HECK. I deleted my FB page that day. I felt sort of violated LOL. There are discussions I would like to have without every near and far relative in my family reading it. I also don't like all my worlds colliding


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## Warrigal (Oct 31, 2016)

My husband doesn't even know what I post here unless I choose to show him.

I'm on the forum to talk about things that I don't talk to my family or friends about because either they aren't interested or because I don't want to risk alienating my nearest and dearest. I never drop the seventh veil anywhere but I drop different veils for different audiences. A girl has to maintain some mystery after all.


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## fureverywhere (Oct 31, 2016)

Facebook and an estranged girl...well I basically said " $%^# you too, have a nice life"...then again a crush from jr. high and he turned into the most handsome man:love_heart:


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## Ameriscot (Oct 31, 2016)

I love FB for different reasons.  And I do post on politics there.  I don't get into arguments on FB with my friends as they all know I am left wing, so they either say nothing if they don't agree or they have no interest in politics. The few who I know are right wing only post occasionally as just don't reply to each others posts.  

BW, when I first got on FB in 2008 I thought all my friends could see all my other friends posts.  They can't.  They can only see what I posted and the replies of all my friends.  So if a niece posts drunken party photos, only her friends see them including me and any friends we share.  

I like this forum for conversations on many topics and the viewpoint of people in my generation.


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## Vedaarya (Oct 31, 2016)

Hi, Blunder woman. I've never considered facebook, but searched for friendly senior community forum to talk to people about things that interest or bother me. I'm also on such a forum in my country, but here, I can not only talk to friendly people from other cultures, but also learn about these cultures and customs, practise the language and widen my vocabulary range. I love being here.


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## Butterfly (Oct 31, 2016)

Vedaarya said:


> Hi, Blunder woman. I've never considered facebook, but searched for friendly senior community forum to talk to people about things that interest or bother me. I'm also on such a forum in my country, but here, I can not only talk to friendly people from other cultures, but also learn about these cultures and customs, practise the language and widen my vocabulary range. I love being here.



Vedaarya, had you not mentioned it, I would never have guessed that English was not your mother tongue.  Your English is excellent!

We're glad to have you here.


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## Vedaarya (Oct 31, 2016)

Thank you, Butterfly. I've explained this in my Diary thread.


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## bluebreezes (Oct 31, 2016)

I've never been on Facebook or any other social media. I understand why it's important to some people, but for me the greater value is privacy.


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## QuickSilver (Oct 31, 2016)

bluebreezes said:


> I've never been on Facebook or any other social media. I understand why it's important to some people, but for me the greater value is privacy.



I'm not sure where people get he idea that having a FB page means you have to lay out all your personal information.. including your last mamo results and bra size.  It is not mandatory.  You can if you want to.. but you can do that here if you choose.   FB is what you want it to be.  You pick who can see your page. and you decide who you accept as friends.   I love FB in that it has allowed me to reconnect with old friends and keep in touch with family.  It's a valuable form of communication and it's with people I know in real life and have a real relationship with, as well as some new found friends from all over.  No one knows my personal business, or knows anything I don't choose for them to know..


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## BlunderWoman (Oct 31, 2016)

QuickSilver said:


> I'm not sure where people get he idea that having a FB page means you have to lay out all your personal information.. including your last mamo results and bra size.  It is not mandatory.  You can if you want to.. but you can do that here if you choose.   FB is what you want it to be.  You pick who can see your page. and you decide who you accept as friends.   I love FB in that it has allowed me to reconnect with old friends and keep in touch with family.  It's a valuable form of communication and it's with people I know in real life and have a real relationship with, as well as some new found friends from all over.  No one knows my personal business, or knows anything I don't choose for them to know..



Well I must have been doing something wrong then because that person was able to see where I had commented on other websites. I also would get friend requests from some relatives I did not want to add but if I don't add them it's a whole big drama. Like- " My son said he requested being your friend on facebook and you didn't friend him. What's your problem with my son?" 
I just did not like it for myself. Every single person in my family is on facebook even my father. I think I'm the only one that isn't on it. It's just a matter of preference for me. Lots of people are going to enjoy facebook. I'm just not one of them.


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## Ameriscot (Oct 31, 2016)

QuickSilver said:


> I'm not sure where people get he idea that having a FB page means you have to lay out all your personal information.. including your last mamo results and bra size.  It is not mandatory.  You can if you want to.. but you can do that here if you choose.   FB is what you want it to be.  You pick who can see your page. and you decide who you accept as friends.   I love FB in that it has allowed me to reconnect with old friends and keep in touch with family.  It's a valuable form of communication and it's with people I know in real life and have a real relationship with, as well as some new found friends from all over.  No one knows my personal business, or knows anything I don't choose for them to know..



True.  You can make it as open or private as you like.  I've changed mine to where only my friends can see who my other friends are - not in a public search of my name.  

I like FB for many reasons - I have friends and family in US, UK, Australia and Uganda.  Best way to keep in touch.  

BW, I don't know how anyone could find you on an anonymous forum through Facebook unless you shared your user name and the forum name on FB.


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## Ameriscot (Oct 31, 2016)

BlunderWoman said:


> Well I must have been doing something wrong then because that person was able to see where I had commented on other websites. I also would get friend requests from some relatives I did not want to add but if I don't add them it's a whole big drama. Like- " My son said he requested being your friend on facebook and you didn't friend him. What's your problem with my son?"
> I just did not like it for myself. Every single person in my family is on facebook even my father. I think I'm the only one that isn't on it. It's just a matter of preference for me. Lots of people are going to enjoy facebook. I'm just not one of them.



I get feeds from certain democrat or liberal sites and some newspapers, etc.  So if I comment on an article my friends can see that I did.  I belong to some FB groups, some are open, some are closed (members only can see).  Is this what your were referring to?


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## BlunderWoman (Oct 31, 2016)

Ameriscot said:


> True.  You can make it as open or private as you like.  I've changed mine to where only my friends can see who my other friends are - not in a public search of my name.
> 
> I like FB for many reasons - I have friends and family in US, UK, Australia and Uganda.  Best way to keep in touch.
> 
> BW, I don't know how anyone could find you on an anonymous forum through Facebook unless you shared your user name and the forum name on FB.



I don't know what I did wrong Anne. I think it somehow showed sites I was visiting or something. I can't remember.


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## BlunderWoman (Oct 31, 2016)

Ameriscot said:


> I get feeds from certain democrat or liberal sites and some newspapers, etc.  So if I comment on an article my friends can see that I did.  I belong to some FB groups, some are open, some are closed (members only can see).  Is this what your were referring to?



Maybe that's what happened. Yeah I saw something political & clicked on it . It took me to another site and I posted thinking no one on my page could read that, but they did.


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## Ameriscot (Oct 31, 2016)

BlunderWoman said:


> Maybe that's what happened. Yeah I saw something political & clicked on it . It took me to another site and I posted thinking no one on my page could read that, but they did.



It took me a while to figure that out as well.  I see things on my FB feed and wonder why they are showing up, but then I see at the top above the article or site that one of my friends had liked it or commented on it.


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## BlunderWoman (Oct 31, 2016)

Ameriscot said:


> It took me a while to figure that out as well.  I see things on my FB feed and wonder why they are showing up, but then I see at the top above the article or site that one of my friends had liked it or commented on it.



Well the relative that saw the post I made is the most rabidly polar opposite of me politically and she ranted about that post for months hahahaha. Dear God if I had thought she could read it I never would have posted


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## bluebreezes (Oct 31, 2016)

It's not just the Facebook privacy settings, it's how Facebook uses your data that's the larger concern. It's a for-profit business and the way they make money is to selling marketing and advertising services to other businesses. I prefer this type of anonymous forum where our information isn't being mined.


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## Buckeye (Oct 31, 2016)

Well, I like Facebook.  I recently re-connected with a young lady that graduated from high school with me 50+ years ago.  Surprisingly, she's still 17 years old! Go figure.  If we didn't live 5,000 miles apart, I'd pay her visit.

 I do have a few other "friends" I need to block because they post 2 or 3 or more recipes ever day.


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## Jackie22 (Oct 31, 2016)

I have mixed feelings about Facebook....I like being able to keep up with family and friends but I live in Red Red country and the ignorance is appalling.  I am very careful what info I put on FB.


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## AprilSun (Oct 31, 2016)

Hoot N Annie said:


> Well, I like Facebook.  I recently re-connected with a young lady that graduated from high school with me 50+ years ago.  Surprisingly, she's still 17 years old! Go figure.  If we didn't live 5,000 miles apart, I'd pay her visit.
> 
> I do have a few other "friends" I need to block because they post 2 or 3 or more recipes ever day.



Annie, do you get tired of recipes too? I have several friends that post so many recipes daily. When they do, I click on "hide all posts from HealhtyRecipes" or what the page is. Then I don't see them from that page again.


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## Ameriscot (Oct 31, 2016)

bluebreezes said:


> It's not just the Facebook privacy settings, it's how Facebook uses your data that's the larger concern. It's a for-profit business and the way they make money is to selling marketing and advertising services to other businesses. I prefer this type of anonymous forum where our information isn't being mined.



I don't really mind that.  I'm great at ignoring ads.  But as I mentioned FB is the very best way for me to keep in touch with family and friends in 4 different countries.  Doesn't work on an anonymous forum.


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## Marie5656 (Oct 31, 2016)

*This forum kind of brings me back to the times before FB, when these places were the best way to communicate with others.  I am still on FB, but do not post a lot.  I stay on because of contact with family and to play some games that I am addicted to there.*


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## bluebreezes (Oct 31, 2016)

I totally agree that the scope of this forum (or any discussion forum) would be an odd choice for staying in touch with family and friends. In fact, I think of our forum here as a sanctuary _away_ from family and friends, and I'm not teling anyone I know about it because I don't want to share it. How's that for selfish? layful:


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## Ameriscot (Oct 31, 2016)

bluebreezes said:


> I totally agree that the scope of this forum (or any discussion forum) would be an odd choice for staying in touch with family and friends. In fact, I think of our forum here as a sanctuary _away_ from family and friends, and I'm not teling anyone I know about it because I don't want to share it. How's that for selfish? layful:



I wouldn't tell anyone I know I'm on this forum either.  I can say things here that I wouldn't say to family and friends (especially if I'm talking about them!).  

We have these FB discussions here every couple of months, and quite a few say they have no use for it or desire to use it.  I joined in 2008 while living in Uganda.  Some say if they want to talk to someone they phone them or email them.  Umm...phone Uganda, Australia, US?  Email them?  I have to email my sister who refuses to use FB.  My favourite part of FB I think is sharing photos - I see photos of my grandkids, grandnieces and nephews in US, friends in Uganda, inlaws in Australia, latest funny videos of what 4 year old grandson up in northern Scotland has done.  My family and friends enjoy seeing photos I post of us while on holidays in Thailand or elsewhere.


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## Carla (Oct 31, 2016)

I've been criticized for not partaking in FB. I may not want to tell everybody my business. I may not want one person to know something or be afraid something could hurt someone's feelings. I think it is desensitizing people to expose themselves to having others know their personal business and thoughts. No thanks. I cannot be convinced otherwise.


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## Ameriscot (Oct 31, 2016)

Carla, you choose your friends, you choose what to share, you choose a level of privacy for your account.  

My sister refuses as well and even though she doesn't like that she missed out on some things because some don't want to send a special email to her when everyone else is notified on FB.


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## bluebreezes (Oct 31, 2016)

Annie, I could see that staying in touch with all those folks on four continents could easily become a full-time job for you, whew! FB sounds like the perfect solution.


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## Ameriscot (Oct 31, 2016)

bluebreezes said:


> Annie, I could see that staying in touch with all those folks on four continents could easily become a full-time job for you, whew! FB sounds like the perfect solution.



It is ideal!  I thought FB was for kids and college kids, but when I discovered by sis in law was on it, I joined.  One of my favourite stories from when I had first joined was while I was living in Uganda, my sister first grandchild was due.  Her DIL went into labour, and my sis in law and I were awaiting the birth in the virtual FB waiting room.  Baby was born.  Photo of happy new family posted on FB.  I didn't miss out and nobody had to make a special effort to email me a photo of the new baby.


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## Carla (Oct 31, 2016)

Ameriscot said:


> Carla, you choose your friends, you choose what to share, you choose a level of privacy for your account.
> 
> My sister refuses as well and even though she doesn't like that she missed out on some things because some don't want to send a special email to her when everyone else is notified on FB.



Yes, I understand that. I just chose not to. Here is another point. There are people who have been hurt by viewing FB. My DIL told me she found out out on FB that a relative had died. She said she could easily have missed that info. I no longer have the time or the patience to deal with hurt feelings over day to day issues. I try hard not to hurt other people's feelings but there is a lot of petty stuff I just don't want to hear. I also don't want to partake in drama as maybe I said something to offend someone, now guess what it is b.s. Send me an E-mail, give me a call if I am worth that much trouble, if not, it's fine with me too. Sorry if it sounds harsh. I don't care what anyone else does--it's up to the individual. I may sound like an old crab, I am not. I enjoy talking to people rather than being informed about their lives.


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## maggiemae (Oct 31, 2016)

I do FB but not in a big way.  I have some old friends from many years ago that we were friends on a forum that closed and everyone went to FB.  I do not like to post my every day habits on FB or many pics of my grandkids.  There are just too many freaks in the world that have nothing better to do than sit at the computer all day and try to find out too much information about you.  I have a few friends on FB that seem to be on there ALL day and ALL night!  Come on...get a life!


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## Carla (Oct 31, 2016)

QuickSilver said:


> I'm not sure where people get he idea that having a FB page means you have to lay out all your personal information.. including your last mamo results and bra size.  It is not mandatory.  You can if you want to.. but you can do that here if you choose.   FB is what you want it to be.  You pick who can see your page. and you decide who you accept as friends.   I love FB in that it has allowed me to reconnect with old friends and keep in touch with family.  It's a valuable form of communication and it's with people I know in real life and have a real relationship with, as well as some new found friends from all over.  No one knows my personal business, or knows anything I don't choose for them to know..



QS, I understand the concept and no, I wouldn't include my bra size or mammo results. It is a form of communication I don't care to utilize. I respect anyone's right to partake in FB, but what I don't understand is the attitude that we all should join. It's not for everyone. There may come a day when I change my mind but right now, I am fine without it. I enjoy forums like this with anonymity. I try not to offend anyone and I do try to value the opinions of others even if I disagree. I do have a problem with sharing too much personal information with others, that is just who I am. I don't criticize anyone that does--maybe I am just introverted.


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## BlondieBoomer (Oct 31, 2016)

FB, for me, is a way of staying in touch with far flung friends and family that I don't see on a regular basis. Like Maggiemae, it's also a way to stay in touch with a few people from old forums that are no longer in existence. It's a place for photos and cute sayings and jokes, mainly quick stuff. 

A forum like this is a place for discussions and exchange of ideas on more serious topics. I've been looking for a Seniors forum for a long time and I'm so glad I happened to find this one. Others I had found were commercially sponsored or had very little activity. This one is vibrant and everyone seems friendly. Many other groups don't allow talk about politics because posts get too nasty. It's nice to find a well moderated forum with people who can sometimes disagree but still be civil to each other and remain friends.

I think I'm going to like it here.


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## Ruth n Jersey (Oct 31, 2016)

I started out with a FB account for only one reason, to have up to date photos,videos and info on the lives of my daughter and family. For this purpose it has worked out well,  For awhile I just looked and enjoyed, then I participated a bit. I was lured in. Sure enough a few of my posts were taken the wrong way and words were exchanged. This is when I realized I needed something else. People my own age and a place where I can choose the topics that interest me. I found that here. I still have my FB account but am back to just enjoying my families activities. The closet I've come to a comment is to hit the like button and that is working out just fine.


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## SeaBreeze (Oct 31, 2016)

Carla said:


> QS, I understand the concept and no, I wouldn't include my bra size or mammo results. It is a form of communication I don't care to utilize. I respect anyone's right to partake in FB, but what I don't understand is the attitude that we all should join. It's not for everyone. There may come a day when I change my mind but right now, I am fine without it. I enjoy forums like this with anonymity. I try not to offend anyone and I do try to value the opinions of others even if I disagree. I do have a problem with sharing too much personal information with others, that is just who I am. I don't criticize anyone that does--maybe I am just introverted.



I'm like you Carla, from all the negative stuff I've heard about and seen on facebook, it doesn't interest me at all to join, never have.  Like you I might change my mind in the future, but I doubt it, I don't do twitter or any other ones either.  

The family I keep in contact with is small, I use email, snail mail, phone calls and greeting cards to keep in touch or share photos.  My sister gave me her password once so I could see all the photos she had there, but although she didn't seem to post much, some people whose posts were showing on her page were off putting, typical angry type political posts that I'm sure she didn't enjoy either. 

 I certainly wouldn't want to ban everyone from my facebook page who didn't agree with me and had a different political opinion as mentioned here, if I wanted to do that, I'd pull up a chair in front of my mirror and preach to the choir.  

I don't mind if people disagree with me, I don't expect everyone to agree with each other on everything, but as long as they stay respectful and keep a civil tone, all is well with me! :yes:


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## mitchezz (Nov 1, 2016)

Our family is spread far and wide......China, Australia and USA. We have a private group on Facebook and stay in touch, add photos etc that no one else can see.


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## Ameriscot (Nov 1, 2016)

Sitting up in bed this morning with my breakfast and really enjoying seeing all the photos on Facebook of kids in Halloween costumes - grandkids, all my grandnieces and nephews, grandkids of my cousins, grandkids of friends.  Wouldn't see these otherwise as no one is going to bother to attach them an email and send it to me.  Snap pic with phone - upload to FB.  Easy.


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