# Grave concern with my mom



## ugh (Jul 15, 2016)

I have grave concern with my mom. Its a long story, but I need to know is this right place to obtain feedbacks and suggestions. If this is the correct place, then I will expand. Here is short version of it. My mom has mental problems and it is preventing her from having quality life and she is not taking care of her self. She is poor and on SS and Medicaid. She is married to veteran. Her husband hates her and wants nothing to do with caring for her. He wants her out. My mom has been in and out of hospital at least 6 times in the last year by threating suicide. She lives in Florida and I live in Texas. I cannot take her in to take care of her because I have 3 young kids whom she has threaten to harm them and almost did. I am stuck, but I need to figure out a way how to help her to either HUD housing or nursing home. 

My question is, is this a right forum to laid it out and get the right feedbacks. 

TIA


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## Ruthanne (Jul 15, 2016)

I'm sorry you are having such a tough problem with your mom.  I'm not sure if this is the right forum but if it's not they will move it.  Her husband just cannot throw her out for one thing.  Have you tried to talk to him?  I would try and see if you can get her outpatient mental health care first of all and I'm sure Medicaid pays for that.  What do you think?


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## fureverywhere (Jul 15, 2016)

I can only say what I might do. Find out what senior services are available in your area. It sounds like moving her to a nursing facility closer to you might be a good choice. I believe Medicare will pay in certain situations. You also have to research getting power of attorney so you are in charge of her affairs and not her husband. <<<Hugs>>>


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## SeaBreeze (Jul 15, 2016)

I moved your thread to the right forum for nursing homes.  There's a link in this thread about HUD housing that may help you out, good luck!  https://www.seniorforums.com/showthread.php/9039-Housing-Options-for-Senior-Citizens


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## Butterfly (Jul 15, 2016)

fureverywhere said:


> I can only say what I might do. Find out what senior services are available in your area. It sounds like moving her to a nursing facility closer to you might be a good choice. I believe Medicare will pay in certain situations. You also have to research getting power of attorney so you are in charge of her affairs and not her husband. <<<Hugs>>>



Actually, for you to be in charge of her personally (as to where she would live,medical care, etc.), a power of attorney won't do it.  Powers of attorney only give you  power over of money and property, not the person.

I would suggest you contact an attorney or Senior Citizens' Law Offices or Legal aid *WHERE SHE LIVES, *not where you live, and see what services or options are available to you.  AND/OR, see if there is an elder abuse/protection division of the government, again, in the state *WHERE SHE LIVES* and see what they suggest.  

I would doubt that HUD housing would be available to her if she is incapable of caring for herself.


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## fureverywhere (Jul 15, 2016)

I would suggest you contact an attorney or Senior Citizens' Law Offices or Legal aid *WHERE SHE LIVES.

*Now that I think about it a bit, yes perhaps that should definitely be the first step.


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## SeaBreeze (Jul 16, 2016)

I've been hearing this organization advertised for years, I think it might help if you browse their website and make a few contacts.  http://www.aplaceformom.com/


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## Butterfly (Jul 16, 2016)

Ugh, google "Florida Department of Elder Affairs."  They have several pages telling what services are available and 800 numbers to call for information and help.


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## Geezerette (Jul 16, 2016)

I give a very bad review to "a place for mom". Had to spend a few weeks in one of their recommended assisted living home. They lied and said there were fami,air with my condition, which they weren't; I was the only client in the relatively small program who wasn't demented , their idea of a nourishing meal was canned soup refrigerator biscuits and jello. Forced to sleep on a bed with a bent frame for 2 weeks till I threatened to turn them in for abuse. 
Attorney!


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## ugh (Jul 17, 2016)

Thank you so much for the information. Big help. Right now, we are trying to get my mom to sign the papers so we can talk directly to the doctor. With that information, we can go from there. 

I will keep you updated as I am sure I will have more questions. 

Thanks.


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## SeaBreeze (Jul 17, 2016)

Good luck Ugh, glad you're trying to do what's best for her.


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## MeganTJ (Jul 26, 2016)

I'm so sad to hear about the situation your mum is in. I too am a senior and find it just hard that there are many of us going through all this.


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## bluebreezes (Aug 1, 2016)

Ugh, I'm sorry to hear about this situation and it sounds very stressful for you. I hope you have lots of support at home and friends to ease some of the stress. Once you're connected with good resources, hopefully that may help lift some of the weight about the unknowns off your shoulders a bit.


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## Dudewho (Aug 1, 2016)

fureverywhere said:


> I can only say what I might do. Find out what senior services are available in your area. It sounds like moving her to a nursing facility closer to you might be a good choice. I believe Medicare will pay in certain situations. You also have to research getting power of attorney so you are in charge of her affairs and not her husband. <<<Hugs>>>




Medicaid will not let you "pick where your bed is". You get first available.


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## Butterfly (Aug 2, 2016)

Dudewho said:


> Medicaid will not let you "pick where your bed is". You get first available.



Medicaid is state administered, so the rules vary by state.

HOWEVER, are you SURE it is Medicaid your mom is on?  Here, at least, Medicaid falls off when you reach 65 and Medicare takes over.  They are two very different programs, but most people mix them up, or use one word for both.  My sister, who is disabled, lives in the same state I do, and when she reached 65, her Medicaid was replaced by Medicare, because only people under 65 who are disabled and/or meet certain low income requirements, are eligible for Medicaid in this state.


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