# When You Chose Your Mate For Marriage Was There Someone Else You Considered?



## fmdog44 (Dec 8, 2020)

Was there someone that had a place in your heart despite your choice to marry the person you chose?


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## Aunt Marg (Dec 8, 2020)

No old heart-throbs tainted my feelings or got in the way.

I wouldn't be able to move forward with marriage if I such was the case.


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## Devi (Dec 9, 2020)

No. And I was right.


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## C'est Moi (Dec 9, 2020)

No.


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## jujube (Dec 9, 2020)

My first boyfriend from high school still has a tiny corner of my heart and is still one of my best friends. He's really a great guy.....we just were cut out better to be friends than lovers.


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## Lee (Dec 9, 2020)

He dumped me then decided he wanted me back. I said no and sometimes still wonder if I made the right decision.


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## Shalimar (Dec 9, 2020)

I still remember the boy with the purple eyes. We were seventeen.....


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## Kathleen’s Place (Dec 9, 2020)

Not really. I thought I was in heavy like a couple of times, but it was definitely love at first sight with my husband.


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## Gaer (Dec 9, 2020)

Oh YES!  I married the wrong man! Deep regrets!  
I was REALLY STUPID!


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## RadishRose (Dec 9, 2020)

No.


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## oldman (Dec 9, 2020)

My wife knows that she was not my first choice and maybe I wasn't hers either. She never mentioned anything about it. My first choice was my high school sweetheart, but when I got into trouble for a few years while in high school, her parents threw me under the bus and I wasn't even allowed to step on their property. Her dad told me if I came near their home, he would squash me like a bug. I was taller than him, but he was a mason and had arms like tree stumps, so I took him serious.


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## Aneeda72 (Dec 9, 2020)

They lined up like puppies for dinner and I went eenie meanie minie mow  Should have used a different method to pick a husband, but it seemed valid at the time.


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## asp3 (Dec 9, 2020)

For my first marriage yes, but I had a flawed and skewed view of myself, relationships, love and marriage at the time.  Back then I didn't really know how one should decide who to marry.  There were definitely women I knew who I would have preferred marrying but I wasn't in a relationship with any of them or they were already involved with others so they weren't "available" for marriage.  Interestingly enough I had my one and only panic attack a few months before getting married where I think my mind was telling me not to get married.  However I didn't listen to it and went ahead with getting married anyway.

For my second marriage no because I didn't have anyone in particular I knew who I was interested in marrying, but I did knew there were some things missing from our relationship that I valued in another relationship.  I have no regrets about choosing my second wife and know I did so taking the things that were missing for me into account before asking her to marry me.  I also know now that love her very much and I choose to be married to her even though I've experienced a relationship that was better.  I never bring it up and never try to change her to get what I want.  I accept my wife for who she is and we do work on things to improve our marriage but I also recognize she is different than my other love and will never be able to provide what I'm missing.


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## Phoenix (Dec 9, 2020)

I'm married for the third time.  Does that count?


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## Shalimar (Dec 9, 2020)

I never married


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## JustBonee (Dec 9, 2020)

No!


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## Oris Borloff (Dec 9, 2020)

No, love at first sight (even after she put her glasses back on).  Day after tomorrow that first sighting will be 38 years ago.


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## Pepper (Dec 9, 2020)

Yes I considered someone else.  Thankfully he didn't feel the same.  My husband was perfect because we made our perfect son together.  Okay, not perfect for other folks but perfect for me!


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## Phoenix (Dec 9, 2020)

I learned a lot from each of my marriages.  I learned a lot from each of my boyfriends.  Some were nice and some were jerk, but all of it helped me learn and grow.  That is the benefit of life in all its varieties.  There is so much to learn, even from and/or especially from the painful difficult things.


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## Phoenix (Dec 9, 2020)

fmdog44 said:


> Was there someone that had a place in your heart despite your choice to marry the person you chose?


How about you?


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## DaveA (Dec 9, 2020)

Nope. My wife was my first real girlfriend. We were teen-agers , she very popular and me far less so. We dated for 2 years , were engaged for 6 months and then married.  

Two and a half years was pretty common in the early 50's. It seems that today people tend to meet and marriage follows in short order. Easy to fake your personality for a short time but after a couple of years it's hard to keep up a facade of the nice guy or girl unless your partner and parents are truly dense. Of course in our modern world, parents don't really figure into the equation. In the old days, in many cases, you had to fool  them as well.   

Might make a difference in how the divorce rate has inclined as multiple marriages are becoming commonplace


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## Tish (Dec 9, 2020)

No, and I picked right, may he rest in peace.


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## Millyd (Dec 9, 2020)

I guess you could call me selfish ....I’m the youngest of two children 15 years apart  ( oldest sister 80 next year ) I liked my space back  then and I still like my space and independence now .

I’ve have long term partner who has his own residence it suits us both ..no children for either


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## Brookswood (Dec 16, 2020)

I have only wanted to marry three women in my life. Two in my 20's. I married one of them.  One in my senior bachelorhood. She left town to be closer to her children from her first two marriages so no marriage.    Today, I simply want to make the best use of my remaining time on this planet. If marriage comes along, great. If not, great. Life is good.


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## Sassycakes (Dec 17, 2020)

*I met my husband when I was 15 yrs old. He broke up with his girlfriend a few hours after we met. I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years as soon as I got back home. We married when I was 20yrs old and I have never regretted it.*


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## Pinky (Dec 17, 2020)

I knew, the first time we met, I would marry him. He was different from anyone else I'd been in a relationship with.


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## win231 (Dec 17, 2020)

Yes, at the time, 40 years ago, I considered Linda Evans, but she told me it would never work - conflicting work schedules....that sort of thing.


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## Ken N Tx (Dec 17, 2020)

When You Chose Your Mate For Marriage Was There Someone Else You Considered?​.


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## fmdog44 (Dec 17, 2020)

I could never accept the concept of a life long commitment made at a young age.  Honestly the older I got the more hideous the idea of a life shared became. Nothing against it but not for me.


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## Ken N Tx (Dec 18, 2020)

fmdog44 said:


> I could never accept the concept of a life long commitment made at a young age.  Honestly the older I got the more hideous the idea of a life shared became. Nothing against it but not for me.


To each his own..


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## Rosemarie (Dec 18, 2020)

fmdog44 said:


> I could never accept the concept of a life long commitment made at a young age.  Honestly the older I got the more hideous the idea of a life shared became. Nothing against it but not for me.


Many people think that way and it's a pity more are not as honest as you. A lot of people marry for totally the wrong reasons and then blame their partner when the relationship breaks down.


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## Aunt Marg (Dec 19, 2020)

fmdog44 said:


> I could never accept the concept of a life long commitment made at a young age.  Honestly the older I got the more hideous the idea of a life shared became. Nothing against it but not for me.


It's surprising how many married people I have spoken with over the years that said if they could do it all over again, they wouldn't get married again, and we all know the strong movement that exists today where more and more young people are choosing not to get hitched.


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