# Happiness in Living Alone



## SeaBreeze (Feb 11, 2018)

I thought some of these drawings were pretty neat! Click arrow to go to next page...more HERE.



> Sometimes, in the rush to be seen, to be  popular and to feel loved and accepted by others, we forget about the  simple but fulfilling joy of solitude.
> 
> This  is where artist Aeppol finds her inspiration. In a series of beautiful  and whimsical illustrations that convey calm and tranquillity, her work  celebrates the innocence of youth, the beauty of nature and the  happiness that can be found simply by being alone.  “I feel special from  very tiny things -  fairy tales that I loved when I was young, some  dream stories, tiny wildflowers, and white clouds in the blue sky,”  Aeppol told *Bored Panda.* “And these are a huge part of my drawings.”
> 
> ...


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## Aunt Bea (Feb 11, 2018)

Very nice!


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## Falcon (Feb 11, 2018)

I don't enjoy being alone,  but, of course,  one would rather  be alone when need be.  You know what I mean.

I always  like someone to be HERE  to talk to and maybe  even to help.


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## merlin (Feb 12, 2018)

Love the drawings SeaBreeze I am happy with solitude, never feel lonely when I am on my own, but having the choice makes a big difference...


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## CindyLouWho (Feb 12, 2018)

Well said, Merlin. Your are so right, the difference between coming back to a house where you know no one will be there and/or being in your house alone and knowing no one will be walking through the door is not a comparable feeling to knowing undeniably, no one will be there. A choice would surely be nice.


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## hollydolly (Feb 13, 2018)

CindyLouWho said:


> Well said, Merlin. Your are so right, the difference between coming back to a house where you know no one will be there and/or being in your house alone and knowing no one will be walking through the door is not a comparable feeling to knowing undeniably, no one will be there. A choice would surely be nice.




precisely...I've been in both situations...


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## Seeker (Feb 14, 2018)

Falcon said:


> I don't enjoy being alone,  but, of course,  one would rather  be alone when need be.  You know what I mean.
> 
> I always  like someone to be HERE  to talk to and maybe  even to help.



You are growing on me Falcon..I like what you say.


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## Falcon (Feb 14, 2018)

It's nice to hear that  Seeker.  It's  also working  BOTH  ways.


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## AZ Jim (Feb 14, 2018)

Generally I am not good alone.  Years ago while in a casino in Las Vegas I came to a blackjack table where the female dealer was alone with an emptly player board.  In an effort just to greet her as I sat down there I said "you looked lonely here!"  I meant nothing by that, just trying to be friendly.  She looked at me coldly and said " I am alone, not lonely!"  I thought about that, took into account all the passes she probably endured and decided it was a good reply to my use of the word "lonely".


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## jaminhealth (Aug 12, 2018)

I was never alone until when I hit about 65, retired totally and have no problem whatsoever being along.  Had a busy life, lots of work, friends, activities, husband at one time, bf's many, lots of girlfriends, played a lot of bridge. and then at 72 had a hip replacement which really turned my life upside down.  Really messed my body.  So I spend a lot of time alone, go out with a friends for dinner or lunch, go to DR appts when needed, my friends take me, I gave up driving and sold car due to knee mess from the hip surgery.... 

I'm 80 and love my memories and living in apt bldg have enough activity around that I see people.  Some friends help me around here.


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## treeguy64 (Aug 12, 2018)

I like being alone, but I know, at around 5 PM, my live-in LTR will be coming through the door.  We had a very recent separation, for about three weeks, and it was terrible.  After thirteen years, we had grown to not only depend on each other, but we also took for granted our presence in each other's lives.  As I type this, she's on her computer, on her desk, behind me.  It is a great feeling just sharing space, together.  Also, meeting up with the type of women who have never been married, at our age, or were married less than ten years in their entire lives, as I did with a handful of recent internet dates, I came to greatly appreciate, even more, my LTR. Both of us have been married, before, for around twenty years.  We know what it takes to keep a relationship going, although we both let things go, a bit, over the last year.  That, we are working on, now, successfully, to get back on track.I imagine that if I have to ever face the single life, again, at an advanced age, I will either move into a retirement community that has lots of activities available, or I will do something else, to be decided later.


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## Meanderer (Aug 13, 2018)

We have been married for 48 years, and our lives have developed into a peaceful place for us.  We are like two lifeguards swimming alone, each one alert and ready to save the other.  I cannot imagine living alone at any age.  When she has gone for a week to visit our daughter in Colorado, it was like my world was empty.  

Recently, I have been thinking on our marriage vows, and what a comfort they are.  As I thought of single people, unmarried, widowed, divorced or other, I wondered if there was a set of vows for them, alone.  If not, maybe there should be.  Maybe there needs to be.


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## jaminhealth (Aug 13, 2018)

Good for you.  

I have not seen many good marriages in my lifetime.  Parents hung in for 63 yrs and SHE took care of him and he was lost when she passed first.  Talk about dependency.


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## rgp (Aug 17, 2018)

SeaBreeze said:


> I thought some of these drawings were pretty neat! Click arrow to go to next page...more HERE.




   I really like those paintings !!! Thanks for sharing.


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## Ruth n Jersey (Aug 17, 2018)

I love those paintings SeaBreeze. Reminds me of myself growing up. I had friends but enjoyed being alone as well and never ever was  bored. These days the hubby and I are like comfortable old shoes and we both enjoy our own space which is very important to us. I'm glad I have an extra room where I can putter to my hearts content. He spends his time in our sitting room in front of the tube. Once in awhile we check to see if the other is still breathing.


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## DaveA (Aug 17, 2018)

I've never lived alone since the day I was born.  Home with my folks, military service, married before my discharge, 4 kids, a flock of grands,  and now eight great grands.  All but 2 of this crowd we see on a regular basis.  We share the old homestead with a daughter, SIL, and two young adult kids.  And if animals count, 2 dogs, 2 cats, and a turtle.  


I'll admit that after these many years, I would be devastated to ever find myself alone.  Maybe if I'd had a few years of "practice" along the way, I'd see it in a different light.


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## Camper6 (Aug 18, 2018)

I often see cats sitting in a window and looking outside and I wonder what they are thinking.


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## rgp (Aug 18, 2018)

DaveA said:


> I've never lived alone since the day I was born.  Home with my folks, military service, married before my discharge, 4 kids, a flock of grands,  and now eight great grands.  All but 2 of this crowd we see on a regular basis.  We share the old homestead with a daughter, SIL, and two young adult kids.  And if animals count, 2 dogs, 2 cats, and a turtle.
> 
> 
> I'll admit that after these many years, I would be devastated to ever find myself alone.  Maybe if I'd had a few years of "practice" along the way, I'd see it in a different light.




   Brings up concern for a friend......

 He lived at home till military, returned home, then marriage/kids for 36 years. Divorce , hooks up with & marries an old G/F , married 7+ years. Divorced again. Now older, no prospects, for the first time in his life, he is now living alone.

I'm not sure he likes it, and not sure how he is dealing with it?....time will tell.


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## DaveA (Aug 18, 2018)

I can't speak from experience but I would think it better to go through one's divorce stage early rather than later and I do realize that we don't "plan" divorces  but, I would think that declining energy, health and choice of options tend to close a lot of doors as one ages.


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## rgp (Aug 18, 2018)

DaveA said:


> I can't speak from experience but I would think it better to go through one's divorce stage early rather than later and I do realize that we don't "plan" divorces  but, I would think that declining energy, health and choice of options tend to close a lot of doors as one ages.




 I agree completely, I divorced 46 yrs ago. Glad I went through it when I did. Circumstances were such that I never remarried . As such I accepted living alone over the years. No big deal. Yes , to some degree i miss dating [too old] and yet again, not sure I do..  In the end, I think I prefer the way it turned out & how it is.

Will admit though that I miss my social circle , we all aged. Three died, actually @ 69 I'm the youngest one left. And we just don't get together any longer.

My friend that is recently divorced is older, stops by for a beer,etc. So that's about it.


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## tortiecat (Aug 18, 2018)

I like my solitude, am seldom lonely.  Living in a retirement complex I can always go downstairs and meet someone
to talk to.  I have my circle of friends and we meet for social outings and shared meals here in the dining room
I have my family and I know they are there if and when needed; but they have their own families and lives.
I have my cat for company so really am not alone.


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## dkay (Aug 18, 2018)

I've lived alone for decades. Even when I was married I was alone most of the time. After the divorce I dated a little bit but decided to dedicate my time to raising my daughter which I do not regret. She's a lovely woman who gave me two beautiful granddaughters plus my son in law seems to like me.

 Perhaps I became too comfortable living alone. Some of my friends have either died or they retired and moved to be closer to their children or moved to a better climate. I probably became a bit cynical about relationships, at least where I'm concerned. I'd rather be alone and happy than be in a relationship and miserable. It's hard to trust, I'll admit that.  Perhaps if I'd ever experienced a happy relationship it would be different but now I'm so set in my ways I'm not sure anyone could stand to be around me for any length of time. 

I suppose one of these days should I ever fail to find a way to entertain myself,  I will let my gray hair grow very long, I'll wear black, get some cats and be that old lady on the block everyone wonders about.


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## KingsX (Aug 18, 2018)

rgp said:


> I agree completely, I divorced 46 yrs ago. Glad I went through it when I did. Circumstances were such that I never remarried . As such I accepted living alone over the years. No big deal. Yes , to some degree i miss dating [too old] and yet again, not sure I do..  In the end, I think I prefer the way it turned out & how it is.
> 
> Will admit though that I miss my social circle , we all aged. Three died, actually @ 69 I'm the youngest one left. And we just don't get together any longer.
> 
> My friend that is recently divorced is older, stops by for a beer,etc. So that's about it.







dkay said:


> I've lived alone for decades. Even when I was married I was alone most of the time. After the divorce I dated a little bit but decided to dedicate my time to raising my daughter which I do not regret. She's a lovely woman who gave me two beautiful granddaughters plus my son in law seems to like me.
> 
> Perhaps I became too comfortable living alone. Some of my friends have either died or they retired and moved to be closer to their children or moved to a better climate. I probably became a bit cynical about relationships, at least where I'm concerned. I'd rather be alone and happy than be in a relationship and miserable. It's hard to trust, I'll admit that.  Perhaps if I'd ever experienced a happy relationship it would be different but now I'm so set in my ways I'm not sure anyone could stand to be around me for any length of time.
> 
> I suppose one of these days should I ever fail to find a way to entertain myself,  I will let my gray hair grow very long, I'll wear black, get some cats and be that old lady on the block everyone wonders about.




Sounds a lot like me.   I divorced early and never looked back.  I enjoy being my own person...  doing what I want, when I want.

My only child died young many years ago.  Two of my close friends died recently.  Another friend is a lot older and in poor health.   My older brother is all that is left of my immediate family.   So it appears I will be the last to go.

.


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## moviequeen1 (Aug 19, 2018)

I've lived alone for most of my adult life,never found "Mr. Right'.
My brother&sister don't live here,I have a group of  close friends I consider my 'extend family',would do anything for them and vice versa.
I stay active,enjoying the things I like to do.I see my friends all the time.
At times I do get lonely, but all in all I'm content with my life. Sue


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## jaminhealth (Aug 19, 2018)

moviequeen1 said:


> I've lived alone for most of my adult life,never found "Mr. Right'.
> My brother&sister don't live here,I have a group of  close friends I consider my 'extend family',would do anything for them and vice versa.
> I stay active,enjoying the things I like to do.I see my friends all the time.
> At times I do get lonely, but all in all I'm content with my life. Sue



I thought I found Mr. Right and he left me for another Mrs. Right over 40 yrs ago.  I raised one child and had a lot of years of work and good times and traveling and am VERY content alone.  See people when we choose to get together, but happy when it's quiet again.  I keep NPR on most of the day, good companion.  j


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## Aunt Bea (Aug 19, 2018)

I've lived alone for most of my adult life and I'm content with it.

IMO it takes a great deal of energy to live with people in a respectful way.  

At this point, I'm not sure that I would be able to do that 24/7.

It may be selfish but living alone is just easier and more comfortable for me.


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## CindyLouWho (Aug 19, 2018)

I can't even process happiness and living alone in the same sentence. I don't know if I'll ever feel that way. 
Sometimes we are not given a choice when the unexpected happens, and we are thrown into an uncomfortable situation. So, to live alone is definitely not a choice I would make, if having the option of living with a compatible significant other or roommate. 
Guess we can build up a tolerance to anything, if we do it long enough, but that's not living to me, it's more like just existing. 
We are all unique in our preferences, and reasons for feeling the way we do.
If you have a good social circle and/or a close family, I'm sure that would make a world of difference too.


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## jaminhealth (Aug 19, 2018)

Aunt Bea said:


> I've lived alone for most of my adult life and I'm content with it.
> 
> IMO it takes a great deal of energy to live with people in a respectful way.
> 
> ...



Oh for sure, SELF is #1 and when there are others to interact with, good grief...even a triangle of 3 is more difficult than 2.


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## jaminhealth (Aug 19, 2018)

CindyLouWho said:


> I can't even process happiness and living alone in the same sentence. I don't know if I'll ever feel that way.
> Sometimes we are not given a choice when the unexpected happens, and we are thrown into an uncomfortable situation. So, to live alone is definitely not a choice I would make, if having the option of living with a compatible significant other or roommate.
> Guess we can build up a tolerance to anything, if we do it long enough, but that's not living to me, it's more like just existing.
> We are all unique in our preferences, and reasons for feeling the way we do.
> If you have a good social circle and/or a close family, I'm sure that would make a world of difference too.



In my case, I didn't expect to be left by the man I thought would be my life partner.  Stuff and life happens.


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## CindyLouWho (Aug 19, 2018)

jaminhealth said:


> In my case, I didn't expect to be left by the man I thought would be my life partner.  Stuff and life happens.


You're right, jaminhealth, life happens. I'm sorry for what happened to you..We just never know what's around the corner. 
I'm just ready for a "sign", of something great to happen in my near future and to lift my spirits. I've done the hard part, so ready to live again.  I just turned 56, divorced a few years ago and the years sure 
do go by fast!


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## jaminhealth (Aug 19, 2018)

CindyLouWho said:


> You're right, jaminhealth, life happens. I'm sorry for what happened to you..We just never know what's around the corner.
> I'm just ready for a "sign", of something great to happen in my near future and to lift my spirits. I've done the hard part, so ready to live again.  I just turned 56, divorced a few years ago and the years sure
> do go by fast!



One thing from my divorce experience, it was   tough at the time and for some yrs BUT, a big but, I grew so much, learned so much I would have never gotten under my belt in the marriage.  I know this to be true...absolutely.   I was mid 30's and had been moved to CA by the husband  and what a big big world CA was for me to explore.  And explore I did.  But never wanted re-marriage...I really don't want to take care of anyone.   So good can definitely come from divorce...jam

If you have children, they are NO. 1 so give them a good life and have FUN too...


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## Hippiegirl1955 (Oct 18, 2018)

Yes happy is a good thing! I'm trying to learn this forum, need to do a profile.


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## katlupe (May 1, 2021)

I believe living alone is not for everyone. But if you are alone, you can make it be what you choose. Happy or not. My father was heartbroken when my mother died after 60 years of a very happy marriage. But he still did all the things he enjoyed, gardening, working on various types of motors and cars, shopping and watching out for his grandkids (who were a handful, even grown) and he was into his guns and did reloads in the evenings. Always busy.


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## Lara (May 1, 2021)

I used to have very little time for myself. Now, living alone, I'm able to really soak in the simple things in life. I can now quietly use all my senses to appreciate the earth and all of God's creation. I never had time to really feel the gratitude before...not with the intensity I feel now. 

I'm relaxed. I'm quiet. I listen to what the earth is telling me and I take good care of it by not using more resources than I need, recycling, planting and watering. Now I'm able to be more mindful of not taking any blessings for granted small or large. I'm very happy living alone.


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## chrislind2 (Jul 16, 2021)

Had a pitiful romantic life and decided just to enjoy life alone. Had many hobbies and a great family and friends. Then in 1977 I was "pushed" into getting married. I know I had a choice, but I made the wrong one. I took marriage very seriously. It is a promise before God and man. Within a few years we had a house 2 cars and 2 daughters. After 7 years she got bored and walked away leaving me with the house and 2 daughters. My family had money, but she did not understand it was not my money, and she found a guy who had more than me. After my daughters were grown and gone, I realized how much I liked living alone. I could not imagine having to live my life around the wants and needs of another person. I am now able to retire and have several hobbies and my youngest daughter lives not too far away raising my grandson, so I spend time with them. I cannot wait to have the freedom to pay the bills and not have to be a slave to my job. Once liked my job , but it has become as sad as my marriage was toward the end.


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## JustBonee (Jul 16, 2021)

Lara said:


> I used to have very little time for myself. Now, living alone, I'm able to really soak in the simple things in life. I can now quietly use all my senses to appreciate the earth and all of God's creation. I never had time to really feel the gratitude before...not with the intensity I feel now.
> 
> I'm relaxed. I'm quiet. I listen to what the earth is telling me and I take good care of it by not using more resources than I need, recycling, planting and watering. Now I'm able to be more mindful of not taking any blessings for granted small or large. I'm very happy living alone.



Amen  to that!   .. I'm right there with you Lara.


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## Cameron (Jul 16, 2021)

For me the choices and opportunity of working in different places in the world have been great and have met some great people.  But your circle of friends tends to be a long way away once returning home.   I've always been solitary but had a few good friends.  My ex and I were sort of a social group to ourselves.  she was a lot less social than i.

Now retired and living alone is a bit of an adjustment.  I live out in the country and seeing plants and trees grow and change is fantastic.  The 4 seasons in Ontario are all quite different and I can enjoy them alone or with someone else.   Winter a time for reflection, clearing snow, putting wood in the stove.  Spring planting and watching for germination.  Listening to the birds and animals.  Summer enjoying a nice breeze while having a coffee.  Fall is the best time of year.  Nature provides some companionship.   

It would be better to have someone or small group i could sit and chat with on occasion but with some luck that will come in time.  I do enjoy my solitude but we are social beings and lacking that consistently is at times the thing i miss the most.

Life is as it is ,most of where I am in life is from the choices good and bad made in the past.  So i do try not to dwell on what it would be like to have a spouse again or children and grandchildren .  I enjoy what is and take what comes at this point


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## funsearcher! (Jul 16, 2021)

Lived alone for the last 17 years and was fine--but the Covid shutdown and recovery from knee injury meant over a year of truly being at home alone for weeks/months. Now I am sharing my new space with a friend I have known for 40 plus years. Nice to have another set of eyes and ears and a different perspective.


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## Meanderer (Jul 16, 2021)

Hippiegirl1955 said:


> Yes happy is a good thing! I'm trying to learn this forum, need to do a profile.


Welcome back to the forums, hang in there....you will find many interesting people here.  Good luck!


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## katlupe (Jul 29, 2021)

I think maybe it is easier to live alone in a city than in the country (unless you have neighbors close by). I am alone in my apartment but if I feel like interacting with others, I just open my door. Some people leave their door open as a sign for others to stop in to say hi. I don't do that. Living downtown means just walking down or across the street and there are people everywhere. The library is directly across the street so that is an option too. 

Of course, I think of the internet as my link to others and that is where I interact the most. I never feel lonely, but I know many people who do not use a computer at all. They have no interest in it. I would probably feel lonely without it. I tend to think of my online friends as my real friends. I have come to know them better, maybe due to writing instead of actually talking.


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## feywon (Jul 29, 2021)

i think it depends greatly on the person.  i've lived alone much of my life.  i'm one of those people who treasures my solitude but when i am 'with' people' i'm fully 'present' and attentive.  My daughter lives with me but she's a solitude lover too---so we each get a good bit of time to ourselves. She works full time, a 2:30 to 9:30pm shift, so i get lots of time to myself i'm usually in bed an hour two after she gets home  but she's up for several hours so has that alone time.  On one of her days off, we usually watch some TV/Movies together and talk about stuff going on, but we give each other space. i'm sure her being here is reassuring for my sons who live in other states as i get older.   i live  in the country, mostly talk to neighbors when we're down in the village, unless they're cleaning the irrigation ditch we all share, then we chat a bit.  However, the once or twice we NEEDED Help---they magically appeared.  That works for me!  

i've lived in NYC and Honolulu and a few other big cities, but i want as much peacefulness as possible at this stage of my life.  i totally get that  others may need to feel people are closer by.


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## Chet (Jul 29, 2021)

Living alone makes you "master of your domain". You do what you want, when you want and if you want, yet as a social animal, we need others so it's a balance. Living together had better be the right one though or it's misery. I've had both, and as someone who is a bit of a loner anyway and tend to be introspective, alone works for me at this stage of my life.


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## Cameron (Jul 29, 2021)

I think being alone or with someone both have their good and bad points.  Each individual is and couple is a pretty complex system.   I tend to believe we go through life with numerous choices but its the decisions we make or don't make that take us on our journey.  Difficult at times to accept being with someone or being alone but we have to enjoy each day and what comes our way as best we can.  Would have been wonderful to settle down with the "right" companion but just never seem to happen for me.  Onwards


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## Time Waits 4 No Man (Jul 29, 2021)

feywon said:


> i've lived in NYC and Honolulu and a few other big cities, but i want as much peacefulness as possible at this stage of my life.  i totally get that  others may need to feel people are closer by.


I lived in Honolulu back in the early 1990's and nearby in Kaneohe. 

This was a place I used to go to, called "Chinaman's Hat":






​


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## feywon (Jul 29, 2021)

Time Waits 4 No Man said:


> I lived in Honolulu back in the early 1990's and nearby in Kaneohe.
> 
> This was a place I used to go to, called "Chinaman's Hat":
> 
> ...


I was there off and on in the 70s. Remember that island.  Lived in Manoa Valley, then in neighborhood up behind the Zoo and Queen's Rose Garden.
 My retired (after 20 yrs service)Navy son was stationed at Pearl Harbor for 16 yrs and stayed on Oahu after retiring. He flew my daughter and i out there for his retirement ceremony in January of 2014. 
The traffic!  Daughter had been watching the new Hawaii Five-0 series and we were like 'Do they film the car chases at the crack of dawn? Cause most of the day no way you could weave in and out of traffic that fast.


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## PamfromTx (Jul 29, 2021)

_I do not like living alone.  Never have, never will.  I'll move in with a niece or nephew if and when my hubby passes.  _
_
I lived with my mother til I bought a house while still single.
_
_Living alone in a house was not what I expected.  I had many sleepless nights as I had never been alone before.  It was tough, but somehow I managed being alone.  I'd begged my mother and/or someone from my extended family to stay with me.  I don't know why I am this way; but, I am.  I am a big chicken.  Bawk...._


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## oldiebutgoody (Oct 3, 2021)

I've been alone all my adult life.  Not necessarily by choice but you get used to it.


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## Tish (Oct 3, 2021)

Very nice indeed.


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## mellowyellow (Oct 3, 2021)

I would be utterly devastated if I had to live on my own and have nothing good to say about it other than it’s a tragedy in my mind.


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## katlupe (Oct 3, 2021)

As you can see from the posts here, we are all different. Some people cannot imagine living alone and some are very comfortable in doing so. Now I can honestly say, this is the happiest I have ever been and I know that is not saying much for my whole life. But it is what it is. I was married 3 times to the wrong men I guess. I will never live with someone else again.


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## oldiebutgoody (Oct 3, 2021)

katlupe said:


> As you can see from the posts here, we are all different.




So true.  Many people have happy, fulfilled lives.  Others like myself barely survive miserable lives. Some say the world is run by a just god but you'd never know it from my life.  That's just the way it is.


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## Irwin (Oct 3, 2021)

oldiebutgoody said:


> So true.  Many people have happy, fulfilled lives.  Others like myself barely survive miserable lives. Some say the world is run by a just god but you'd never know it from my life.  That's just the way it is.


If the world is run by a god who favors some over others, that would make him or her an @sshole.


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## oldiebutgoody (Oct 4, 2021)

Irwin said:


> If the world is run by a god who favors some over others, that would make him or her an @sshole.



"I will be gracious to whom I will be gracious" ~ Exodus 33:18
God as "creator of ALL evil" ~ Isaiah 45:7

Perhaps that is an appellation that is apropos.


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## katlupe (Oct 4, 2021)

oldiebutgoody said:


> So true.  Many people have happy, fulfilled lives.  Others like myself barely survive miserable lives. Some say the world is run by a just god but you'd never know it from my life.  That's just the way it is.


That statement is true for me too. Yet I still turn to God in my most miserable times and I seem to get through. I can't blame my troubles on God though, they were of my own makings. Bad choices for me.


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## oldiebutgoody (Oct 4, 2021)

katlupe said:


> Bad choices for me.




Are you entirely sure?

After all, ''Guardian angels are spiritual guides that can help you navigate your adventures here on Earth.''

https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-251...-your-guardian-angels-unlock-their-power.html

https://www.biblestudytools.com/topical-verses/guardian-angels-in-the-bible/


If you were not provided with any, then none of those problems were your fault.


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## Remy (Oct 5, 2021)

I grew up in an abusive house. If that was marriage and family, no thanks.

Some people think I'm odd because I never married or had kids. But I guess it was protection in some ways. I can't say happy, but at least no one bothers me behind my front door. And I have the cats.


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## oldiebutgoody (Oct 5, 2021)

Remy said:


> I grew up in an abusive house.




I know the feeling first hand having been abused and nearly murdered by my own mother.  Never developed any meaningful relationship in life either because people never gave a s_____t for me or perhaps because I isolated myself to some extent.  Oh well. Lived my life alone and will likely die alone.  Such is life or what's left of it.


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## Pepper (Oct 5, 2021)

(((@Remy)))
(((@oldiebutgoody)))


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## GeorgiaXplant (Oct 5, 2021)

Every home should have a cat and every cat should have a home. Life is better with cats‍


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## oldiebutgoody (Oct 5, 2021)

GeorgiaXplant said:


> Every home should have a cat and every cat should have a home. Life is better with cats‍





There is a popular channel on twitch where a guy feeds homeless and feral kitties.  May he and others like him enjoy good karma for their good deeds.


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## Bellbird (Oct 6, 2021)

It was good to read of others experiences of living alone, good or otherwise. I am taking that step to get hopefully, peace and some contentment in my life. It has been a long time coming, (leaving ) a step I should have taken years ago, but my marriage vows were important to me, rightly or wrongly. At this moment I am quite relieved that I have finally made the decision to go.


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## katlupe (Oct 6, 2021)

My brother and I grew up in the same home with the same family. As much as I love being alone, my brother can't stand it. He has a lot of friends and is happily married. If I stop at his house, there is always a friend or two of his there. I do have more friends now since I moved here than ever before. Apartment buildings have socialization built in I guess.


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## katlupe (Oct 6, 2021)

Bellbird said:


> It was good to read of others experiences of living alone, good or otherwise. I am taking that step to get hopefully, peace and some contentment in my life. It has been a long time coming, (leaving ) a step I should have taken years ago, but my marriage vows were important to me, rightly or wrongly. At this moment I am quite relieved that I have finally made the decision to go.


Good luck in doing that! I did it and never looked back.


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## Meanderer (Oct 6, 2021)

Meanderer said:


> We have been married for 48 years, and our lives have developed into a peaceful place for us.  We are like two lifeguards swimming alone, each one alert and ready to save the other.  I cannot imagine living alone at any age.  When she has gone for a week to visit our daughter in Colorado, it was like my world was empty.
> 
> Recently, I have been thinking on our marriage vows, and what a comfort they are.  As I thought of single people, unmarried, widowed, divorced or other, I wondered if there was a set of vows for them, alone.  If not, maybe there should be.  Maybe there needs to be.



After having the occasion to re-visit this thread this morning, I started to think again about Vows for the Single Person.  I found a review of a book by _Jana Bennett  Singleness and the Church: A New Theology of the Single Life.  _Although it is written from the Catholic point of view, is covers the subject  in a way we might all find something for ourselves.  She talks about how we all go through "seasons of singleness" in our life at some time.  She also talks about “impermanent, non-vowed single states of life.” You may find it helpful.  (Read More)


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## GeorgiaXplant (Oct 6, 2021)

JMO, but it seems to me that if there's a secret to living alone, it's learning to like yourself and your own company.


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## WheatenLover (Oct 6, 2021)

When I lived alone (twice), I was in my early 20s. I loved it. Of course I did! I had lots of friends who visited, and two of my best friends lived in the same house (which was divided into 4 one-bedroom apartments. Plus I had two cats, a fiance, and no shortage of things to do and people to do them with.

Now, I wouldn't mind living alone with my dog, as long as I lived in a certain city in which I have relative and many friends, even though I haven't lived there in 32 years. The trouble is, I don't like the political atmosphere there in many ways that I feel strongly about. No, it's not in Texas.


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## palides2021 (Oct 17, 2021)

Hello everyone,

I'm new here. You can call me Trisha. I've been living alone since my son went off to college 2 years ago. My hubby passed away several years earlier. I'll be hitting 65 soon, but I have kept busy with classes (going for my PhD - I've wanted to do this ever since I was a teenager) and doing some writing, painting, and music. I had spent much of my adult life tending to others, now I'm tending to myself.

I think I've worn both hats - being comfortably alone, and wanting to be with others. Like some of you here, I've grown used to being alone, and like others, I sometimes wouldn't mind having a companion or someone to socialize with. Does that make sense? Keeping busy helps, but when I see the couples around me, I sometimes want to be hugged again. I had written a poem a few years back about being my own best friend, and that's what I've learned. We have to love ourselves first before we can love others.
All the best.


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## hollydolly (Oct 17, 2021)

palides2021 said:


> Hello everyone,
> 
> I'm new here. You can call me Trisha. I've been living alone since my son went off to college 2 years ago. My hubby passed away several years earlier. I'll be hitting 65 soon, but I have kept busy with classes (going for my PhD - I've wanted to do this ever since I was a teenager) and doing some writing, painting, and music. I had spent much of my adult life tending to others, now I'm tending to myself.
> 
> ...


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## Gaer (Oct 17, 2021)

Frustrated?  Bored?  Unhappy?
Reinvent yourself!


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## katlupe (Oct 17, 2021)

palides2021 said:


> Hello everyone,
> 
> I'm new here. You can call me Trisha. I've been living alone since my son went off to college 2 years ago. My hubby passed away several years earlier. I'll be hitting 65 soon, but I have kept busy with classes (going for my PhD - I've wanted to do this ever since I was a teenager) and doing some writing, painting, and music. I had spent much of my adult life tending to others, now I'm tending to myself.
> 
> ...




It makes sense that you want a companion. Maybe I am happy living alone because I do have a relationship with a wonderful man but we do not live together. And we do not spend every minute together. Though we do a lot of things together and talk on the phone all day off and on.


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## Pinky (Oct 17, 2021)

Welcome to the forum @palides2021


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## Butterfly (Oct 19, 2021)

WheatenLover said:


> When I lived alone (twice), I was in my early 20s. I loved it. Of course I did! I had lots of friends who visited, and two of my best friends lived in the same house (which was divided into 4 one-bedroom apartments. Plus I had two cats, a fiance, and no shortage of things to do and people to do them with.
> 
> Now, I wouldn't mind living alone with my dog, as long as I lived in a certain city in which I have relative and many friends, even though I haven't lived there in 32 years. The trouble is, I don't like the political atmosphere there in many ways that I feel strongly about. No, it's not in Texas.


Florida??


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## bufflo (Oct 22, 2021)

My wife of 53 years has dementia. I know at some time in the next years I will be alone. I have no idea how I will do not having her next to me at bedtime or when I get up.


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## Lara (Oct 22, 2021)

oldiebutgoody said:


> "I will be gracious to whom I will be gracious" ~ Exodus 33:18
> God as "creator of ALL evil" ~ Isaiah 45:7
> 
> Perhaps that is an appellation that is apropos.



Irwin has taken us off-topic but I can't ignore his blasphemy by calling God a disgusting name which I won't repeat. I have addressed Irwin's comment in my last few paragraphs.

@oldiebutgoody
In my Bible, Exodus 33:18 says "Moses responded, "Then show me your glorious presence"
In my Bible, 

Isaiah 45:7 ...Plucking a verse out of context as with Isaiah 45:7 is usually not a true meaning. One must also be careful of translations from Hebrew where several meanings could be used for the same word. But lets stick with looking at this in context.

Also, this verse you posted was from the Old Testament before the punishment for sin was paid for on the cross in the New Testament by a Savior...Jesus. God's love for us is what caused Him to forgive our sin nature as documented in the New Testament.



Irwin said:


> If the world is run by a god who favors some over others, that would make him or her an [disgusting expletive removed by me]


The context of Isaiah 45:7 makes it clear that something other than “bringing moral evil into existence” is in mind. The context of Isaiah 45:7 is God rewarding Israel for obedience and punishing Israel for disobedience. (remember sin was punished in the old testament) God pours out salvation and blessings on those whom He favors.

@Irwin God loves everybody but he can't bless those who don't believe in Him or don't love Him, right? Would you favor those who hate you? Of course not.

God brings judgment on those who continue to rebel against Him. “Woe to him who quarrels with his Master” Isaiah 45:9 That is the person to whom God brings “evil” and “disaster.” So, rather than saying that God created “moral evil,” Isaiah 45:7 is presenting a common theme of Scripture – that God brings disaster on those who continue in hard-hearted rebellion against Him.

I'm disappointed to see 2 members give a "Love" and one giving a "Like" reaction to Irwin's post for calling God a filthy disgusting
name. And suggesting God should favor the likes of those who hate Him enough to call him low-life filthy names.

Blasphemy is the greatest of all sins. The consequences are also the greatest of all consequences.


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## Meanderer (Oct 23, 2021)

@bufflo  Welcome to Senior Forums, I am glad you found us!  You will find many good people here who are ready to be a friend.  If you find a post, or poster offending...just use the ignore button.  Hope you hang around, and that you and your Wife are doing well.


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## Meanderer (Oct 23, 2021)

@Lara When Johnny Cash was interviewed by Larry King for the last time, Larry asked him if he was mad at God, for how his life ended up.  John replied, "Oh no, God has given me a wonderful life.  My arms are too short to box with God"!  It is my favorite quote of his.


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## oldiebutgoody (Oct 23, 2021)

Lara said:


> God pours out salvation and blessings on those whom He favors.


Why does Isaiah 45:7 say that God created evil? | GotQuestions.org

On another forum someone says that all of humanity has free will.  I asked, what "free will" does an abortion victim have.  The commentator declined to answer.

A god who causes the downfall in the Garden of Eden, who creates all evil, and who predestinates by favoring some over others can hardly be said to be worthy of worship. But if that is what some wish to believe, then so be it.


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## squirrel (Oct 27, 2021)

I had the opportunity to build a home on the northern Atlantic coast of this little Canadian island province about 5 years ago. 

I chose to live alone after struggling with addiction and loss, sold my part of a business and said it was time to live instead of wait to live. I got clean about 7 years ago from alcohol - not a drop since. never again. (drank for almost 27 years) ..and now I live for better things now. Kindness, sunrises and sunsets, trying my hand at cooking and doing things that make life worth something to me - i take moments that I feel passed me by for so many years. I try to keep in shape and I do what I can to make everyday count even as I'm alone here. I have a new cat lol. he's my buddy. he's about 2 years old so his energy compared to mine is very different. i mean i still have some energy, but a 2 year old cat reminds me of the energy I might have had about 45 years ago lol. he makes me smile and laugh.

I don't do enough smiling and laughing, but I'm catching up on it.

The past 2 years has been brutally tough on many of you for SO many reasons. my heart goes out to you because i know 'isolating' for some is scary and sad..we are human. we feel these things..i wish for better things ahead for all of you. hang in there. sunnier days ahead, I'm sure of it : )


Alone is good as long as you have yourself and your honest values to keep you company..and maybe a energetic young cat too lol


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## Lara (Oct 27, 2021)

That's a powerful message, @squirrel . Well penned. 
I'm so happy for you and now you are an example to the many who may read this.
I see you're a new member...a wonderful asset to the Senior Forums already. 
Welcome.


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## squirrel (Oct 27, 2021)

thank you so very much, Lara. very kind words. I am new, - its a wonderful place to converse with others and enjoy peoples company.

thank you again.


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## Gaer (Oct 27, 2021)

squirrel said:


> I had the opportunity to build a home on the northern Atlantic coast of this little Canadian island province about 5 years ago.
> 
> I chose to live alone after struggling with addiction and loss, sold my part of a business and said it was time to live instead of wait to live. I got clean about 7 years ago from alcohol - not a drop since. never again. (drank for almost 27 years) ..and now I live for better things now. Kindness, sunrises and sunsets, trying my hand at cooking and doing things that make life worth something to me - i take moments that I feel passed me by for so many years. I try to keep in shape and I do what I can to make everyday count even as I'm alone here. I have a new cat lol. he's my buddy. he's about 2 years old so his energy compared to mine is very different. i mean i still have some energy, but a 2 year old cat reminds me of the energy I might have had about 45 years ago lol. he makes me smile and laugh.
> 
> ...


Thank you for giving us a glimpse into the real you!  It's an honor to have you on the forum.  You are a man who has grown in your soul!


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## PamfromTx (Nov 2, 2021)

GeorgiaXplant said:


> Every home should have a cat and every cat should have a home. Life is better with cats‍


How I wish we could have a cat.  I was outside feeding a stray and came in with itchy, teary eyes and a slight cough.  My eyes are red!   Just looked.  lol


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## oldiebutgoody (Nov 3, 2021)

I adore kitty kats but cannot have one - the building I live in has roaches and they would be all over my apartment if I left food out for kitty. I often use bug spray to keep them out of my kitchen and spraying it could be hazardous to kitty.


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## tortiecat (Nov 11, 2021)

*I would love to have a cat; but living on the 3rd floor in an apartment a litter box
would be too smelly and I would have trouble keeping it clean.  All my family
have cats, but most go outside and others are more able to keep the box clean.
So I enjoy the cats of those I go to visit.*


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## Pepper (Nov 11, 2021)

oldiebutgoody said:


> I adore kitty kats but cannot have one - the building I live in has roaches and they would be all over my apartment if I left food out for kitty. I often use bug spray to keep them out of my kitchen and spraying it could be hazardous to kitty.


Use Combat.  It actually works and no smell.


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## Irwin (Nov 11, 2021)

squirrel said:


> I had the opportunity to build a home on the northern Atlantic coast of this little Canadian island province about 5 years ago.
> 
> I chose to live alone after struggling with addiction and loss, sold my part of a business and said it was time to live instead of wait to live. I got clean about 7 years ago from alcohol - not a drop since. never again. (drank for almost 27 years) ..and now I live for better things now. Kindness, sunrises and sunsets, trying my hand at cooking and doing things that make life worth something to me - i take moments that I feel passed me by for so many years. I try to keep in shape and I do what I can to make everyday count even as I'm alone here. I have a new cat lol. he's my buddy. he's about 2 years old so his energy compared to mine is very different. i mean i still have some energy, but a 2 year old cat reminds me of the energy I might have had about 45 years ago lol. he makes me smile and laugh.
> 
> ...


I find that whenever I struggle with addiction, I find that if I make sure I have enough alcohol in the house and don't run out when I'm on a binge, I'm okay.


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