# Gift Card Kerfluffle



## maplebeez (Aug 24, 2016)

My head is spinning since getting an angry text from grand kids mom, saying I have no right to question how the kids use/don't use/trade-in gift cards, I send them, because I asked what they bought with their back-to-school gift cards.  I have no idea how to reply to this message/or should I just "let it go".  Puzzling, because I did get a nice thank-you call from the kids.


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## Gemma (Aug 24, 2016)

You have no right?  Why would she be so angry over asking what the kids bought?  

You're not obligated to give them a gift card.  You did that out of the goodness of your heart, to help them out.  If the grand kids mother is offended by you asking, then I would just tell her I just won't be sending anymore cards and upsetting her by inquiring what they bought.  The kids appear to have more respect for you then their mother.  Glad they called and thank you.


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## SeaBreeze (Aug 24, 2016)

Sounds fishy to me since the kids called and said thanks.  Only thing I can think of is she took the gift cards from them and bought something for herself.


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## bluebreezes (Aug 24, 2016)

Or maybe she's just a stressed out mom who took your question the wrong way. If it was me, I'd empathize with her that the start of the school year can be stressful, and you were only asking because you didn't have the pleasure of taking them shopping yourself. It is a bit odd that the kids didn't mention what they bought in their thank yous.


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## maplebeez (Aug 24, 2016)

I think Mom got angry because the gift cards I sent weren't for her favorite place to shop.....that big-box super store.


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## Mrs. Robinson (Aug 24, 2016)

No advice here, but you used my favorite word-kerfuffle


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## maplebeez (Aug 24, 2016)

The kids did tell me what they bought, when they called to say thank-you, but the blow-up started after I was thanked for a new video game & I was surprised XYZ store sold them. That's when I learned about this gift card trade-in thing. I love their mom dearly & give her a lot of credit, working full-time, running the house & keeping everyone on schedule, but if she thinks someone is questioning her parenting skills......watch out. From now on the kids are getting bank-issued Visa/Master Card gift cards which can be used at all major retail stores. This too shall pass.


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## Carla (Aug 24, 2016)

This may not be a popular answer but perhaps another way of looking at it. Whenever I give cash or a gift card, I might make a suggestion for what I would like it used for. I don't really question later. If it should come up in conversation and they want to tell me, fine. Sometimes when I make a suggestion, they will say what they would rather use it for, I say fine. A gift is a gift. If they seem to be irresponsible then just buy them something. This pertains to children. I would never question an adult.


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## Butterfly (Aug 24, 2016)

I always figure that once I've handed it over (cash or gift card) it's up to the recipient what they do with it.  But, as the mother, I wouldn't get upset if the giver casually asked what the children bought -- some people are just looking for something to get offended about.  What's so terrible about asking what they got?


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## fureverywhere (Aug 24, 2016)

It depends if she is a daughter or daughter in law. For a daughter I would eventually pull her over privately and ask who put the bees up her butt. For a DIL...I might let it pass as stress, I don't know...


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## debbie in seattle (Aug 25, 2016)

Yep, a kerfuffle it is.


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## Capt Lightning (Aug 26, 2016)

If you give a gift, I assume that you give it unconditionally.  You gave them gift cards so that they could spend them as they liked.  However, at least you deserved a polite reply to your enquiry.


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## nitelite (Sep 2, 2016)

Let it go. The children were 'polite' in thanking you and enjoyed the gift cards. That was your intention.


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