# Do You Have A Friend Of The Opposite Sex



## Mizzkitt (Apr 13, 2018)

Is it possible to keep an opposite sex friendship completely platonic?

Thoughts?


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## Ken N Tx (Apr 13, 2018)

Yes, as long as my wife does not know!!


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## wvnewbie (Apr 13, 2018)

Yes.  I have enjoyed over 15 years with a lady.  Another 8 years with another,


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## terry123 (Apr 13, 2018)

I have had a man friend for 30 years.  Friends with his wife also. I knew him a long time before they married.  We have never crossed the line and enjoy being friends.


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## Wren (Apr 13, 2018)

I used to think platonic friendship between the sexes was impossible as all the men I met we’re looking to be a lot more friendly than me ! 

However,  I now have a dear male friend, we meet about once a week for coffee and a chat which suits me fine, I know if I needed help I could turn to him as he could me, and I enjoy his company very much


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## Mizzkitt (Apr 13, 2018)

Most people wrongly assume that if one half of a couple has a friend of the opposite sex then there has to be hanky panky going on. Seems people think that only couples can be friends with other couples.


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## Falcon (Apr 13, 2018)

Yes.  Several.


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## helenbacque (Apr 13, 2018)

Yes, I have had a several  We would meet for coffee and good conversation, nothing more.  I've outlived them all and I miss them.


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## jujube (Apr 13, 2018)

Oh, yes indeedy.  My boyfriend from high school is my best friend.  We make better friends than objects of romance.


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## C'est Moi (Apr 13, 2018)

Yes, I do.


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## Marie5656 (Apr 13, 2018)

*I had a male co-worker who I became close to.  He retired a few months before me.  In a job with many younger workers, it was nice to have a friend of a closer age.  We do not see each other much now, but share occasional emails.*


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## Gary O' (Apr 13, 2018)

Mizzkitt said:


> Is it possible to keep an opposite sex friendship completely platonic?
> 
> Thoughts?



Yes, it's possible

so I've been told


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## RadishRose (Apr 13, 2018)

jujube said:


> Oh, yes indeedy.  My boyfriend from high school is my best friend.  We make better friends than objects of romance.



me too!


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## Butterfly (Apr 13, 2018)

Yes, I do -- a very dear friend of many years.


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## Catlady (Apr 14, 2018)

Only as pen pals, had one male penpal for 12 years.  In person it has never worked, either he wants more or I want more.  I found men actually got offended when I asked them to be just friends.


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## Mizzkitt (Apr 14, 2018)

PVC said:


> Only as pen pals, had one male penpal for 12 years.  In person it has never worked, either he wants more or I want more.  I found men actually got offended when I asked them to be just friends.



PVC....That's a long friendship. Just curious, I am assuming you start out with email and progress to skype??? I know of one lady that started out with an online long distance and different country friendship.She was from Ontario and he was from Texas.  It progressed over time and they eventually married.


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## Catlady (Apr 14, 2018)

Mizzkitt, we met in a forum, he liked my personality and asked me to penpal.  I told him I had no interest in meeting or relationship, he told me he was happily married, and we continued writing.  I read that penpal friendships only last an average of five years, so we had a good run.  No skype, just emails.


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## Mizzkitt (Apr 14, 2018)

PVC ....That's nice, I was curious as I did also have a male online friend. But in my case when he got married his wife put a stop to it. A shame actually, we could have all been friends.


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## Lethe200 (Apr 15, 2018)

Yes, both my spouse and I have a number of friends of the opposite sex that are strictly platonic relationships. Not considered a big deal out here.


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## treeguy64 (Apr 15, 2018)

I was rarely successful at being just friends with women.  Almost inevitably, one, or the other, came on physically.  I know other male/female couples who are just friends, without benefits (or so I'm told), but that never worked, for me, except, with a few co-workers.


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## Catlady (Apr 15, 2018)

treeguy64 said:


> I was rarely successful at being just friends with women.  Almost inevitably, one, or the other, came on physically.  I know other male/female couples who are just friends, without benefits (or so I'm told), but that never worked, for me, except, with a few co-workers.


Would it work for you if the woman were gay?  I think I could have an in-person male friend if he were homosexual (not bisexual).  Then I would not be attracted to him and he would not be attracted to me (unlike a female gay who might try, it has happened to me).  And I believe that a male gay friend would be more honest with me about my faults and mistakes than a female friend might.  But, unfortunately, I never found one of those.


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## treeguy64 (Apr 15, 2018)

I had a few gay, female friends, including a co-worker. There were never any attraction issues.  I felt the op was asking about having friends of the opposite sex who were straight.  Maybe I took the initial post incorrectly, although I don't consider gay women to be the "opposite sex."


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## 911 (Apr 16, 2018)

Yep. I met her when I was 10 years old. She's a very pretty blonde (natural), or was at one time. Now, she is about 70%-30% with the 70% being still blonde. If it's natural or not, I have no idea and I'm not about to ask. We have been friends since that time and she lives in Ohio, some 325 miles from me, so we keep in touch via e-mail, how else? My wife doesn't really seem to mind and seems to understand our relationship. I show her all of the e-mails that come from her and my wife also has access to all of my e-mail accounts and she also has my pass code for my iPhone.


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## Mizzkitt (Apr 16, 2018)

treeguy64 said:


> .  Maybe I took the initial post incorrectly, although I don't consider gay women to be the "opposite sex."




Good grief Treeguy, what are they if not the opposite sex. They are gay women. But if you are talking transgender going from woman to man then I suppose we are talking opposite sex at that point.


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## Shalimar (Apr 16, 2018)

Yes, I have two long time platonic male friends. One going back over forty years, the other over twenty. They are like brothers to me.


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## ClassicRockr (Apr 16, 2018)

"No" for both of us. IOW, wife doesn't have any and I don't either. Just the way we like our marriage. None of the "Girls" or "Boys" "Night Out" thing in our marriage either. Actually we only know one "never been married" lady and she WAS best friends with my wife until I came along. I took my wife places, like pro-rodeos, that the girlfriend didn't like or wasn't interested in. My wife and her still talk on the phone a few times a year, but she lives States away from us. 

Funny, but a girl, some 20 years younger than me and with whom I had had a relationship with, including ******, that I knew for a few years, wanted to stay friends with me after I met my wife. I told her on the phone, "Sorry, absolutely not. I'm not going to ruin a good thing I have going now." The girl didn't really like hearing that, but........."oh well".  

I have no buddies/male friends and wife doesn't have any girlfriends. Don't need them when both of us love doing everything together. 

We do know a married couple we go out to dinner with sometimes. My wife has known her since high school and him since they got married back in the 70's.


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## Victor (Apr 16, 2018)

Yes but since she is married, we never meet.
We email and talk on the phone--


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## ClassicRockr (Apr 16, 2018)

What I'm wondering is........do the people who are married let their spouse know that they are corresponding with a person of the opposite sex?


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## treeguy64 (Apr 16, 2018)

_You wrote: __Good grief Treeguy, what are they if not the opposite sex. They are gay women. But if you are talking transgender going from woman to man then I suppose we are talking opposite sex at that point._


Heavens to Murgatroyd, Mizzkitt, gay women are not the "opposite sex," when it comes to all preconceived notions concerning male/female interactions.


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## Shalimar (Apr 16, 2018)

treeguy64 said:


> _You wrote: __Good grief Treeguy, what are they if not the opposite sex. They are gay women. But if you are talking transgender going from woman to man then I suppose we are talking opposite sex at that point._
> 
> 
> Heavens to Murgatroyd, Mizzkitt, gay women are not the "opposite sex," when it comes to all preconceived notions concerning male/female interactions.


Interesting, to me, ****** preference does not affect my perception of gender. I have male friends who are straight, bisexual, gay, and one who is asexual. None of it matters to me in the least. Men and women come in all shapes and sizes, different personalities, etc. Unless I was looking for a mate, their ****** orientation would be irrelevant. My interest lies in their minds, hearts, spirits, not genitalia.


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## ClassicRockr (Apr 16, 2018)

Shalimar said:


> Interesting, to me, ****** preference does not affect my perception of gender. I have male friends who are straight, bisexual, gay, and one who is asexual. None of it matters to me in the least. Men and women come in all shapes and sizes, different personalities, etc. Unless I was looking for a mate, their ****** orientation would be irrelevant. My interest lies in their minds, hearts, spirits, not genitalia.



There again, that's YOU! It's pretty obvious that not everyone is like you and definitely doesn't want to be. What you are, and it's totally fine, is like a "big city" person who absolutely loves anything and everything about "big city".......the "anything goes" type, I guess. But, that's you.


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## Shalimar (Apr 16, 2018)

ClassicRockr said:


> There again, that's YOU! It's pretty obvious that not everyone is like you and definitely doesn't want to be. What you are, and it's totally fine, is like a "big city" person who absolutely loves anything and everything about
> 
> "big city".......the "anything goes" type, I guess. But, that's you.


Why such a vehement response? I am not looking to convert anyone. Each to their own. I am not a big city person, I live in a 

small town, very close to rural areas. Lots of dairy farming around here. Llamas and Alpacas also. Even Gypsy Vanner horses are raised nearby. As for “anything goes,” that is a pretty big assumption, considering you do not know me.  I deal with many different types of people in my line of work, most pouring out their hearts, looking for respite from 

emotional agony. It doesn’t get any more real than that. Someone might not like their looks, approve of who they sleep with, but, in my experience, being gay or lesbian does not stop you being a man or a woman, and I view them as such.  My post was in response to Treeguy and his post.


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## ClassicRockr (Apr 16, 2018)

Shalimar said:


> Why such a vehement response? I am not looking to convert anyone. Each to their own. I am not a big city person, I live in a
> 
> small town, very close to rural areas. Lots of dairy farming around here. Llamas and Alpacas also. Even Gypsy Vanner horses are raised nearby. As for “anything goes,” that is a pretty big assumption, considering you do not know me.  I deal with many different types of people in my line of work, most pouring out their hearts, looking for respite from emotional agony. It doesn’t get any more real than that. Someone might not like their looks, approve of who they sleep with, but, in my experience, being gay or lesbian does not stop you being a man or a woman, and I view them as such.  My post was in response to Treeguy and his post.



I guess I was reacting to your personality concerning LGBT people. Gee, what can I say, I'm a former "farm boy" from northeastern Indiana and wasn't raised to be the way some folks are today. And, actually, I refuse to change. My wife is the same way. There are those in this forum who think exactly the way I do...........wish they come to my defense! Oh well.

I don't know anyone on this forum, but can be very good at understanding how some are. 

I'm sorry if I took you wrong, but wife and I are definitely not like you. When I hear/read words like "live and let live" or "to each their own", I just don't know. Have never been like that. When I lived in a part of Southern California, I was really kind of ridiculed for my former "farm boy" attitude. They sure didn't have the "to each their own" or "live and let live" thinking. I couldn't wait to move out and go somewhere where people understood me. Anyway, our Faith in Christianity basically rules our lives, thinking and feelings.  ​


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## Robusta (Apr 16, 2018)

God, How insular you are!  You and your wife actually have NO friends?  Your entire circle is one other person?  That is a sorry situation.


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## Catlady (Apr 16, 2018)

ClassicRockr = "When I hear/read words like "live and let live" or "to each their own", I just don't know"

I believe in that.  I wouldn't want anyone to tell me how to live my life, whom I can be friends with, what religion I should believe in, and how I dress (as long as I'm not dressing obscenely).  As long as people do not abuse or kill people and animals, I'm okay with them.


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## Keesha (Apr 16, 2018)

Shalimar said:


> Interesting, to me, ****** preference does not affect my perception of gender. I have male friends who are straight, bisexual, gay, and one who is asexual. None of it matters to me in the least. Men and women come in all shapes and sizes, different personalities, etc. Unless I was looking for a mate, their ****** orientation would be irrelevant. My interest lies in their minds, hearts, spirits, not genitalia.



I feel the same way. ****** preference does not affect my perception of gender. I’ve also had male friends who are gay, straight, bisexual and asexual. And actually gay men make fabulous friends. I’ve also had gay women friends and been ok with that, as long as they didn’t hit on me but those rules apply to all people no matter what their gender or ****** preference. 

****** preference is just part of who people are and should not define them. Like Shalimar states, the more important stuff is what’s inside. Being open minded doesn’t make a person more of a freak. It makes them more ‘tolerant’ of others and having tolerance of others shouldn’t be looked upon as a negative characteristic. Thank heavens for tolerant people.


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## Keesha (Apr 16, 2018)

PVC said:


> ClassicRockr = "When I hear/read words like "live and let live" or "to each their own", I just don't know"
> 
> I believe in that.  I wouldn't want anyone to tell me how to live my life, whom I can be friends with, what religion I should believe in, and how I dress (as long as I'm not dressing obscenely).  As long as people do not abuse or kill people and animals, I'm okay with them.



Exactky! Live and let live is more about ‘minding your own business’ and having tolerance for others. You don’t have to like and support what they do but you don’t have to condemn it either. 

It reminds me of a saying I read that stayed with me. 
********
I thought I was getting more tolerant in my old age but as it turns out, 
I ‘actually’ discovered .... that I just don’t give a _____ any more.
********
I think people’s priorities change as they get older so most people don’t care about stuff that perhaps they used to. 
It’s  a good thing


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## ClassicRockr (Apr 16, 2018)

Robusta said:


> God, How insular you are!  You and your wife actually have NO friends?  Your entire circle is one other person?  That is a sorry situation.



Yes, I know, such a terrible thing isn't it, BUT, it works out GREAT for us.​ Our boat doesn't go on the water unless she is in it and I don't go to the range unless she is with me. However, I do go on errands during the week when she is at work. 

Just to let you know, we'd love to have friends, but married friends ONLY. But, just can't find anyone close to our age that likes what we like. AND, we very particular about who we'd make friends with. IOW, one "particular" thing is, absolutely no smokers. But, since we can't find any and done have any, we totally enjoy each others company. It works out excellent for us.


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## treeguy64 (Apr 16, 2018)

How can two people be so dense as to totally miss the point I was making?  When I am asked:  "Do you have friends of the OPPOSITE SEX?" the implication, TO ME, is that I am being asked if I have female friends with whom I could get involved, if circumstances presented themselves.  That leads to all kinds of situational scenarios.  If I was asked: "Do you have any gay, female friends?" - - - THAT is a whole other kettle of fish!  Comprenez vous?  I doubt it!  Spare me your oh so righteous indignation!

The OP, for the two who have missed the boat and are now treading water, in here: "Is it possible to keep an opposite sex friendship completely platonic?"  NOW, do you two understand?????  Again, I doubt it!


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## rgp (Apr 18, 2018)

"Anyway, our Faith in Christianity basically rules our lives, thinking and feelings."


   Well that explains allot............


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## Victor (Apr 18, 2018)

Yes PVC--men feel insulted to be just friends when they want romantic. It looks like rejection,
and if the man even softly implies he ihas romantic interests, usually the women back away quickly. Or runs.
I have seen a girl literally run down the stairs fast.


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## Catlady (Apr 18, 2018)

Victor said:


> Yes PVC--men feel insulted to be just friends when they want romantic. It looks like rejection,
> and if the man even softly implies he ihas romantic interests, usually the women back away quickly. Or runs.
> I have seen a girl literally run down the stairs fast.



It may be a rejection but, IMO, it's not an insult about the man's attractiveness.  I've met men that were very handsome and I was not attracted THAT way, and I've been attracted to several who were homely (Charles Bronson types).  Chemistry is a puzzle, no one can pinpoint it.  I could never be intimate with someone I didn't have chemistry with.


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## ClassicRockr (Apr 18, 2018)

I remember, a few years before I met my wife, I met a lady at a Denny's. She was a little older than myself, but one thing I definitely knew from the beginning........I had absolutely no physical attraction to the lady at all, but that's not the way she felt. I wasn't seeing anyone at the time, so we exchanged phone numbers. I called her to see how she was doing and she asked me over to her house on a Saturday afternoon. I went over and we started talking and during the conversation I told her that my back hurt some from what I had been doing at work the day before. She offered to give me a back rub in her bedroom, but I could definitely tell that she wanted more that to give me that. She went to grab my hand and I darted up off of her couch, walked fast to the front door, open it and walked fast to my small truck. By the time I got in and started the engine, she was standing by the window and asked me what was wrong. I just looked at her and said, "I have to go and I mean now". She backed away and I took off. The next time I seen her, outside of Denny's, I stopped her and told her why I left her house so quick. She was disappointed when I told her I had absolutely no physical feelings at all for her. We stayed friends, somewhat, but I did find out, from her, that she'd been seeing (sexually) a married guy who was still with his wife. Guess she wanted me in order to break away from him. She was at our wedding and I've told my wife about what happened and we both laugh about it. 

I have absolutely no communication with her anymore.


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## Keesha (Apr 18, 2018)

PVC said:


> It may be a rejection but, IMO, it's not an insult about the man's attractiveness.  I've met men that were very handsome and I was not attracted THAT way, and I've been attracted to several who were homely (Charles Bronson types).  Chemistry is a puzzle, no one can pinpoint it.  I could never be intimate with someone I didn't have chemistry with.



I agree with you 100%. Chemistry is a puzzle, nobody can pinpoint what that is to all. Its so personal. 
Trying to be intimate with someone who doesn’t do anything for you doesnt work, no matter how much others detest it. It IS what it is. People who push this end up in relationships that just don’t work in the long run. 
Its just ‘my opinion ‘ also.


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## Catlady (Apr 18, 2018)

Keesha said:


> I agree with you 100%. Chemistry is a puzzle, nobody can pinpoint what that is to all. Its so personal.
> Trying to be intimate with someone who doesn’t do anything for you doesnt work, no matter how much others detest it. It IS what it is. People who push this end up in relationships that just don’t work in the long run.
> Its just ‘my opinion ‘ also.



I think chemistry works with female animals, too, but mostly with birds.  I once saw a Nature show about land birds (grouse or something like that, they can't fly).  The males all would have a certain area where they waited to mate with the females.  There was one older bird and most of the others were younger.  All the males strutted their stuff to attract the females, but the females all lined up to mate with the oldster.  He serviced like 30 females in 30 minutes or so.  The female the camera crew was following lost her first batch of eggs to a predator.  She went back to the clearing and went straight to the oldster to be serviced again, not a look at the eager younger ones.  The narrator said they had no explanation about her and the other hens's preference.


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## JimW (Apr 19, 2018)

Mizzkitt said:


> PVC....That's a long friendship. Just curious, I am assuming you start out with email and progress to skype??? I know of one lady that started out with an online long distance and different country friendship.She was from Ontario and he was from Texas.  It progressed over time and they eventually married.



That's how my wife and I met and began our relationship as well. She was also from Ontario and I from Mass. She was a friend of a friend on fb, I sent a pm to her regarding a thread we had both posted in and it took on a life of it's own from there. We will be married 7 years in December.

On a side note there is an awful lot of judgemental bs going on in this thread. Not sure why some people don't understand that not everyone thinks and lives as they do, some people are actually happy being different. But reading this thread wasn't a total loss, I learned that gay women aren't members of the opposite sex. :laugh:


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## ClassicRockr (Apr 19, 2018)

JimW said:


> That's how my wife and I met and began our relationship as well. She was also from Ontario and I from Mass. She was a friend of a friend on fb, I sent a pm to her regarding a thread we had both posted in and it took on a life of it's own from there. We will be married 7 years in December.
> 
> On a side note there is an awful lot of judgemental bs going on in this thread. Not sure why some people don't understand that not everyone thinks and lives as they do, some people are actually happy being different. But reading this thread wasn't a total loss, I learned that gay women aren't members of the opposite sex. :laugh:



People will be judgmental, just the way many humans are. I see absolutely nothing wrong with being that way. Sometimes bad things can happen in life when a person isn't judgmental, which is basically associating with the wrong type of people. I think that there are just those that approve more of what many consider "normal" than other types of people. A lot of people have their own ideas of what "normal" is, while others might consider "normal" as just about anything. One person can say, "the person sure seems normal to me", while another person can easily say, "no way".


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## Victor (Apr 19, 2018)

Charles Bronson is not homely IMO. Not at all. Woody Allen looks homely.

I think we all agree chemistry is crucial and that explains why people with seemingly
nothing in common and opposing types are couples. The rest is physical.
Then again, suppose you met a poor man with much chemistry for you. If he has no ambition or a lousy job
 that would change your mind/

As we (or at least me) become seniors, our chemistry dissipates.


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## ClassicRockr (Apr 19, 2018)

Victor said:


> Charles Bronson is not homely IMO. Not at all. Woody Allen looks homely.
> 
> I think we all agree chemistry is crucial and that explains why people with seemingly
> nothing in common and opposing types are couples. The rest is physical.
> ...



That did, sort of, happened to me once years ago, way before meeting my wife. There was a lady at a local nightclub that I was very interested in asking her out. She was definitely good looking, actually TOO good looking for me. I was just about to ask her out and she turned to me and said "Don't even ask, because I will say no. I definitely know you can't afford me". Where some would find that rude of her to say, I really, really appreciated her saying that. She told me the truth............I really, really couldn't afford her! I had a $10 per hour job as a Stockroom Supervisor, temporarily living in a weekly motel room and driving an old truck.


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## JimW (Apr 19, 2018)

ClassicRockr said:


> People will be judgmental, just the way many humans are. I see absolutely nothing wrong with being that way. Sometimes bad things can happen in life when a person isn't judgmental, which is basically associating with the wrong type of people. I think that there are just those that approve more of what many consider "normal" than other types of people. A lot of people have their own ideas of what "normal" is, while others might consider "normal" as just about anything. One person can say, "the person sure seems normal to me", while another person can easily say, "no way".



Having different points of view and being respectful in voicing them is one thing, being judgemental to the point of being insulting is another.


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## ClassicRockr (Apr 19, 2018)

JimW said:


> Having different points of view and being respectful in voicing them is one thing, being judgemental to the point of being insulting is another.



Well, one person's idea of being insulted is another person's idea of "I'm just stating what I think". Someone, where we live, thought I had insulted my wife by something I said about her. The person looked at me and said "that wasn't very nice towards your wife" and, believe or not, both wife and I started laughing. My wife looked at the person and said "you don't know my husband like I do. He wasn't insulting me at all. He was just stating a fact and said it pretty funny".

Later, she looked at me in our apartment and said, "some people. They just don't have the humor or understanding like we do". She was completely right. My wife doesn't "judge" people and things as much as I do, but she does do it.


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## Catlady (Apr 19, 2018)

Victor said:


> Charles Bronson is not homely IMO. Not at all. Woody Allen looks homely.
> 
> I think we all agree chemistry is crucial and that explains why people with seemingly
> nothing in common and opposing types are couples. The rest is physical.
> ...



Woody Allen is ugly, and so are Howard Stern and Mick Jagger.  I have no chemistry and also no respect for them.  I had respect AND chemistry with Bronson.  For a long term relationship I would have to have chemistry AND respect AND at least some compatibility.  I disagree, I think chemistry lives on into old age if the respect is still there and we still get along.  And if he had no ambition but I had chemistry, I would have a wild love affair and then dump him.  I am not high maintenance, but I would never want to live paychek-to-paycheck either or have to carry all the responsibility of making a living for the both of us.  I happen to be ambitious to get ahead and not live in poverty.  All women are different and all men are different, they each have their limits and deal breakers.  There are women and men who don't mind being a doormat to their partners or are willing to put up with a miserable relationship so as to avoid divorce.  I have known lots of couples like that.


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## ClassicRockr (Apr 19, 2018)

PVC said:


> Woody Allen is ugly, and so are Howard Stern and Mick Jagger.  I have no chemistry and also no respect for them.  I had respect AND chemistry with Bronson.  For a long term relationship I would have to have chemistry AND respect AND at least some compatibility.  I disagree, I think chemistry lives on into old age if the respect is still there and we still get along.  And if he had no ambition but I had chemistry, I would have a wild love affair and then dump him.  I am not high maintenance, but I would never want to live paychek-to-paycheck either or have to carry all the responsibility of making a living for the both of us.  I happen to be ambitious to get ahead and not live in poverty.  All women are different and all men are different, they each have their limits and deal breakers.  There are women and men who don't mind being a doormat to their partners or are willing to put up with a miserable relationship so as to avoid divorce.  I have known lots of couples like that.



Well, even though I get a fairly small SS Retirement each month (less than $1k), my wife is the main "money maker" on her Mon thru Fri. job. I compensate by taking care of our apartment, doing laundry and most of the cooking as well as running a few errands during the week. She has told me many times, "I don't know what I do if you weren't home doing these things. I know I couldn't do this stuff after working a full 8 hours." 

One thing for sure, she has definitely had a much, much better time getting jobs than I did. She has the college degrees that I don't. I wouldn't even compare my resume' to hers.


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## Catlady (Apr 19, 2018)

ClassicRockr said:


> Well, even though I get a fairly small SS Retirement each month (less than $1k), my wife is the main "money maker" on her Mon thru Fri. job. I compensate by taking care of our apartment, doing laundry and most of the cooking as well as running a few errands during the week. She has told me many times, "I don't know what I do if you weren't home doing these things. I know I couldn't do this stuff after working a full 8 hours."
> 
> One thing for sure, she has definitely had a much, much better time getting jobs than I did. She has the college degrees that I don't. I wouldn't even compare my resume' to hers.



That is fine.  You try to help any way you can.  You don't sleep all day or lay on the couch, and expect her to come home and do everything and wait on you after working at a job.  My father was a typical old world Italian.  Here in the US he had a full time job and so did my mother, yet after work he would sit and bark orders at my mother, he wouldn't even get up to get the salt shaker.  I was livid but figured if my mother let him get away with it, it was her life to do as she pleased.  We each have our limits.


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## Keesha (Apr 19, 2018)

ClassicRockr said:


> That did, sort of, happened to me once years ago, way before meeting my wife. There was a lady at a local nightclub that I was very interested in asking her out. She was definitely good looking, actually TOO good looking for me. I was just about to ask her out and she turned to me and said "Don't even ask, because I will say no. I definitely know you can't afford me". Where some would find that rude of her to say, I really, really appreciated her saying that. She told me the truth............I really, really couldn't afford her! I had a $10 per hour job as a Stockroom Supervisor, temporarily living in a weekly motel room and driving an old truck.



:lofl:


PVC said:


> Woody Allen is ugly, and so are Howard Stern and Mick Jagger.  I have no chemistry and also no respect for them.  I had respect AND chemistry with Bronson.  For a long term relationship I would have to have chemistry AND respect AND at least some compatibility.  I disagree, I think chemistry lives on into old age if the respect is still there and we still get along.  And if he had no ambition but I had chemistry, I would have a wild love affair and then dump him.  I am not high maintenance, but I would never want to live paychek-to-paycheck either or have to carry all the responsibility of making a living for the both of us.  I happen to be ambitious to get ahead and not live in poverty.  All women are different and all men are different, they each have their limits and deal breakers.  There are women and men who don't mind being a doormat to their partners or are willing to put up with a miserable relationship so as to avoid divorce.  I have known lots of couples like that.



If he had no ambition I’d have to have a wild love affair and then dump him? 
Thats being brutally honest but you have a very good point. Many couples stay together miserable because they want to avoid divorce. So very true. Some things are deal breakers but once you’re married, you made a commitment for better or worst so It’s not as easy or as cut and dry. Plus it goes both ways. I sure wouldn’t want to be cheated on but nor have I ever cheated.

p.s. Those three don’t do anything for me either. lol


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## Lon (Apr 19, 2018)

My best friends are of the opposite sex and all PLATONIC.


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