# Does Anyone Else Feel Especially Sad  Lately?



## Ruthanne

I've been trying to fight it off but it's apparent that I am feeling sad in so many ways.  So many things happening and it's just hard.  I feel it must be the same for many


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## Rosemarie

Yes, and it isn't just this virus that is causing it. People are really showing their true colours at the moment, in so many ways. I despair at human nature.


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## Shalimar

Ruthanne said:


> I've been trying to fight it off but it's apparent that I am feeling sad in so many ways.  So many things happening and it's just hard.  I feel it must be the same for many


Absolutely. Frankly, at this point, I don’t know anyone who isn’t struggling. Covid makes life so stressful in so many ways. It amplifies one’s other concerns, difficult to remain cheerful rather than overwhelmed Living alone often exacerbates feelings of isolation, depression, anxiety, we just don’t know what will happen next. Trying to be patient and strong long term is exhausting.


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## mike4lorie

The world, the times, are all uncertain... right now life, and the world is so scary... God Bless YOU all...


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## Shalimar

Bless you too Mike. I find reaching out to people on forums such as this to be one of the touch stones which help me to remain more centred and calm. We are all part of the global human family. We will get through this together, sharing, caring, behaving responsibly in order to keep ourselves and others safe while we wait for the vaccine. I find meditation helpful also.


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## charry

Yes, I’ve felt sad for the past 8 yrs....
Walking makes me feel good now, as  everything else is limited.....


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## Camper6

Every day give yourself a treat of some sort.  It lifts the spirit.

And you deserve it.


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## Shalimar

I am waiting for  the liquor stores here to restock Forty Creek Nanaimo  Bar liqueur. They are all sold out. I can hardly wait to try it


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## Camper6

I haven't seen it yet in my neck of the woods.

I checked with bar tenders and ask them what is the most popular liquor they serve.

Vodka.  Why?  It doesn't smell on the breath or so they claim.


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## Camper6

Read my new thread.  If you don't want to be sad or depressed, stay away from toxic people.
Find someone upbeat.


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## Ronni

Camper6 said:


> Read my new thread.  If you don't want to be sad or depressed, stay away from toxic people.
> Find someone upbeat.


Because some folks are passive aggressive it’s often difficult to realize who’s bringing you down. The covert nature of such people makes them difficult to spot. It appears that they are supportive, have your best interests at heart, offer well meaning advice etc, when in reality they’re cutting you down.

“You've done so well for someone with your level of education.”

"Don't worry; you can still get braces, even at your age"

"There are a lot of men out there who like plump women,"

They appear to be encouraging supportive statements but the inherent message communicates something very different.


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## Keesha

Yes. I am spending more time treating myself and those around me with extra patience and compassion which is greatly helping with self awareness.  ❤


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## Pepper

Camper6 said:


> Read my new thread.  If you don't want to be sad or depressed, stay away from toxic people.
> Find someone upbeat.


What if......................
Since you're sad and depressed people stay away from YOU because now you are not upbeat and are bringing them down and oh my, so toxic.


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## officerripley

Ronni said:


> Because some folks are passive aggressive it’s often difficult to realize who’s bringing you down. The covert nature of such people makes them difficult to spot. It appears that they are supportive, have your best interests at heart, offer well meaning advice etc, when in reality they’re cutting you down.
> 
> “You've done so well for someone with your level of education.”
> 
> "Don't worry; you can still get braces, even at your age"
> 
> "There are a lot of men out there who like plump women,"
> 
> They appear to be encouraging supportive statements but the inherent message communicates something very different.


This! OMG, this is so true!


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## charry

Camper6 said:


> I haven't seen it yet in my neck of the woods.
> 
> I checked with bar tenders and ask them what is the most popular liquor they serve.
> 
> Vodka.  Why?  It doesn't smell on the breath or so they claim.






Oh it does camper, don’t you believe them,   Every alcohol smells on your breath, after a few....
That’s what my DIL thought,when she got stopped by the police one day.....
She had only a couple at a birthday bash,but they smelt it straight away.....!
6 points on her licience.....it could of been more,If she had been involved in an accident


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## officerripley

Pepper said:


> What if......................
> Since you're sad and depressed people stay away from YOU because now you are not upbeat and are bringing them down and oh my, so toxic.


This is also very true. I read an interesting article the other day about how--since about WW2--people want to be friends only with people who _entertain_ them. It posited that where people used to want to be around people who were good-hearted, honest, etc., nowadays they want to be entertained by charismatic people since the entertainment culture, which really got going with people having TV in their homes, kind of spoiled people into being impatient with people who are perceived to be boring.

And remember that old saying, "Still waters run deep"? (Which I always took to mean that quiet people can be really interesting once you get to know them.) Well, I used that saying on another website a while back and nobody knew what I was talking about ("What does that even mean?! We're talking about relationships here, not water!") Sigh.


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## PatientGrandson

Lots of the Internet is optimized for making you upset. Whether it's outrage, sadness, despair... Some of our most negative emotions are the ones most effective at keeping us clicking around.

It's often a good idea to take a break and stick to the classics like reading a book, taking a walk, calling a friend - anything other than looking at a screen (even a TV).


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## Pepper

@officerripley 
People sure are hard to please!


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## FastTrax

Patience all for our Lord GOD will restore our belief that we must tolerate all even the intolerable and all shall be right with the world again.


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## Ferocious

*When I'm feeling a bit down, I make my way to the big mirror in the hall. I turn and face the mirror and tell the bloke looking at me,"You are one really handsome beggar", but he always replies, "Why thank you, but I can't lie, Ferry, you're not." 
Hmmmm......I've got the utmost respect for truthful mirrors, but it would be nice if it fibbed now and again.  *


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## Aneeda72

Yes, I find the loss of life in our country extremely sad.


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## Aneeda72

No Man Is An Island
poem:  John Donne
song:  Joan Baez

No man is an island
No man stands alone
Each man’s joy is a joy to me
Each man’s grief is my own

Learned this song in junior high.  It runs round and round by mind.  Someday there will be a national holiday when new generations remember those that were lost to the virus. People will look forward to a day off work and forget the high cost of that day off.

Over 250,000 dead and counting .  Sadness is expected.


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## Pecos

Ruthanne said:


> I've been trying to fight it off but it's apparent that I am feeling sad in so many ways.  So many things happening and it's just hard.  I feel it must be the same for many


In my opinion it would be abnormal to not feel sad. Between the virus and all of its impacts and the toxic political/behavioral situation we are in you (we) are completely justified in feeling sad.

Intellectually, we know that "this too will pass", but emotionally it is another matter as we contemplate not being able to quickly return to a life that we knew and loved. The inability to interact with loved ones, travel, enjoy eating out, and feel good about our futures is very draining.

I suppose that this emotional strain is similar to that felt during WWI and WWII, when things were not looking good at all, but our parents and grandparent hung in there and the world recovered. We shall do the same.  Our role is to do the best we can under the circumstances and fight our way through these times even as we do feel sad.

Ruthanne, I think there is real merit in raising this subject for discussion as you have done. This forum is full of supportive people and you are one of them. Hang in there my friend!


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## Kaila

Yes, Ruthanne, there are so many stressors and I feel much grief.....

thank you for posting the topic, and take care, all of you.


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## debodun

Too many odd and stressful things happening recently. I don't know if it's sadness I feel, but I *DO* feel like I am waiting for another shoe to drop.


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## Pecos

I suppose that we can all find some beauty to divert our emotions away from the dark side. I watch the sunset every evening and the beauty of it is very uplifting. Coffee in the morning with my wife and the two Bichons is beautiful and makes me feel good. The moon is there to enjoy when the dogs make their final potty call before bedtime. Talking on the phone with family members and friends helps me stay balanced. Exercising daily and minimizing exposure to the news is extremely important. 

Oh yes, indulging in my favorite ice cream plays a role too.

What are your little tricks for staying upbeat?


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## Phoenix

Sometimes maintaining balance in one's life is difficult.  Everywhere we look on the news there are people putting others down because of the color of their skin, or because they don't believe the same things or....  Hatred has popped out of the woodwork.  Those who hate are really very immature.  Hatred takes too much energy, which is for naught.  Immaturity is rampant right now, and a lot of innocent people are suffering because of it.  Last night on the local news the warming centers were talking about how they now can't bring as many people inside as they could before because the virus is out of control.  The most depressing thing to me is that I thought as a country we had made more progress since the demonstrations at the time of the Vietnam War.  Yes, Pecos, we have to find ways to pull ourselves out of this, and one of them we can't talk about on this site.


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## Gaer

I've read all the comments above and for someone to come along all bubbly and happy would only irritate all you wonderful people.  I want to speak plain and straight. 

The entire atmosphere of the world is filled with thoughts of this sadness with which you are responding.  
You are only a value judgement from changing your quality of thought. This is a choice of your mind.   
The mind can't hold a happy thought and a sad thought at the same moment.  Why would you choose to feel sad when you can feel happiness?
You can establish your own happiness.  You have the power to SHIFT your thinking.  Please don't give up today's happiness to embrace misery.

Be thankful for what you have right now.  You might be feeling the tenderness of your soul.  This tenderness also holds tremendous love, tremendous sadness, and the softest joy.  To experience this is a wonderful growth of the soul.  Allow yourself to feel this but then as you return to activity and the thinking level of the mind, create a light, happy attitude to attract joy into your life. Gently,take care of your body, your mind and your surroundings.  You can value every moment and love everything that happens in your life! We can all get through this!


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## Phoenix

Gaer said:


> The mind can't hold a happy thought and a sad thought at the same moment.


Actually the mind can hold a happy thought and a sad one at the same time.  The heart also knows both at the same time.  We each have to deal with this in the way that is right for us.  One size never fits all.


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## Camper6

Pepper said:


> What if......................
> Since you're sad and depressed people stay away from YOU because now you are not upbeat and are bringing them down and oh my, so toxic.


Nah.  As I said before.  How do you feel after being in contact with someone toxic.
Right now I'm not feeling so hot about what you are saying if you get my point.


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## Packerjohn

This year has been a complete waste as far as I am concerned.  I hope this Corvid-19 thing is not going to go on for another couple of years.  For the millannials & other young people it might not matter but for people my age, hack, we might not live to see the end. I read books & I walk outside daily to keep my sanity.  However, I better cut down time on the www because most things are so negative.  You can really get depressed reading the news.  Good thing I cancelled our local newspaper.  Good thing I cut the cable about 17 years ago.  There is nothing positive in the news.  The learned "TOP DOCTORS" are forever shouting at us to stay inside & have some sort of stupid virtual wedding, virtual funerals & even virtual sex.  Hmmmmmmmm!  That is really something!  The pro-masks have been shouting all summer for everyone to wear masks all the time.  Where I live the bars are opened because when the government tried to close them down, the very powerful hotel lobby group screamed "Blue Murder" and the law was reversed.  Instead they are putting more pressure on the schools where there are almost no new cases.  No coffee time, no Happy Hour, no social gatherings period!  Nada!  Go figure.  No wonder everyone here is super depressed.  Myself, I keep away from people.  They all look like zombies to me & when they mumble through their masks I don't understand what they are saying.  Maybe it's my age!  Best for me to stay home & catch up with all those wonderful old Gunsmoke & Rifleman shows.  LOL


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## Packerjohn

I'm afraid that things will only get worse for most people.  Not only do we have Corvid-19 but we have the usual shorter days, lack of sunshine, cold weather coming around; especially where I live in Canada.  General, in normal times, many would "escape" south to Florida, Texas or Arizona or even Mexico.  I certainly did when I was younger.  I can still remember those wonderful Happy Hours and dances at Long Island Village in Port Isabel, Texas.  Now, it's not so easy.  Also, at the beginning of winter we always get the flu season.  I really wonder how Christmas will be this year?  So many people have lost their jobs & businesses.  I bet they wouldn't be going to do any shopping sprees! Santa's "Ho, Ho, Ho" will sound pretty hollow when you have lost your job & can't buy groceries, pay the rent or the mortgage.


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## bingo

the older I get...i am learning that life is about  loss...not gain...
all we can do is "forge ahead"


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## Liberty

charry said:


> Yes, I’ve felt sad for the past 8 yrs....
> Walking makes me feel good now, as  everything else is limited.....


Holly, what happened 8 years ago to set you on this sadness path?


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## Liberty

Packerjohn said:


> I'm afraid that things will only get worse for most people.  Not only do we have Corvid-19 but we have the usual shorter days, lack of sunshine, cold weather coming around; especially where I live in Canada.  General, in normal times, many would "escape" south to Florida, Texas or Arizona or even Mexico.  I certainly did when I was younger.  I can still remember those wonderful Happy Hours and dances at Long Island Village in Port Isabel, Texas.  Now, it's not so easy.  Also, at the beginning of winter we always get the flu season.  I really wonder how Christmas will be this year?  So many people have lost their jobs & businesses.  I bet they wouldn't be going to do any shopping sprees! Santa's "Ho, Ho, Ho" will sound pretty hollow when you have lost your job & can't buy groceries, pay the rent or the mortgage.


Packer, in more normal times I'd say "Come on down to Texas and see us"...lol.  Our short winters are much more friendly, one of the reasons we love it so.  We got to have patience, the most beautiful of all virtues and certainly the most least understood.


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## katlupe

I am sorry so many people are feeling so sad. It is not that I am happy all day long every day, but I am the happiest now than I have ever been in my whole life. I just wish it didn't take so long to happen. I have some serious issues, with others, including my son and my pet and I have financial worries too..........so my life is not really carefree. But the moments of my day are pretty much happy. The days of crying myself to sleep are over.


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## Aneeda72

This is one of my favorite poems for when I am very sad.

Happiness
by Priscilla Leonard

Happiness is like a Crystal,
Fair and exquisite and clear,
Broken in a million pieces,
Shattered, scattered far and near,
Now and then along life’s pathway,
Lo! Some shinning fragments fall;
But there are so many pieces
No one ever finds them all.

You May find a bit of beauty,
Or an honest share of wealth,
While another just beside you
Gathers honor, love or health.
Vain to choose or grasp unduly,
Broken is the perfect ball;
And there are so many pieces
No one ever finds them all.

Yet the wise as on they journey
Treasure every fragment dear
Fit them as they may together,
Imaging the shattered sphere,
Learning ever to be thankful,
Through their share of it is small;
For it has so many pieces
No one ever finds them all.


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## Ronni

@


Ruthanne said:


> I've been trying to fight it off but it's apparent that I am feeling sad in so many ways.  So many things happening and it's just hard.  I feel it must be the same for many


I just realized I responded to a comment on this thread but it wasn't relevant to the OP, nor did it speak to her situation specifically.

@Ruthanne, I'm sorry you're sad.    Were there some specific things that happened to bring you down?  Or is it more the generalized depression/anxiousness/concerns that most of us are feeling over Covid?

There IS a difference between sadness, and depression.  You say you're sad, but could you be experiencing depression instead?  I don't mean to be invasive with the questions, but because these two things are different, they're dealt with differently and if you try and solve the one, but it's actually the other, you'll get no result.  

Regardless, I hope you can find ways to lift your mood.  There are solutions and coping mechanisms to be had, no matter what the genesis of your feelings.  As others have mentioned, this year has been the year from HELL and you're not alone in feeling down.


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## Gary O'

*Does Anyone Else Feel Especially Sad Lately?*




Daniel brannum said:


> Feeling sad is quite normal



Guess I'm jus' not normal

Having a hard time not being happy


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## Treacle

@Ruthanne. I try to grow plants and/or herbs indoors. The reason I am writing this in response to your post is that the very nature of growth gives me a positive lift in my mood. Psychologically seeing growth gives hope and future. I have also put a new stand in the garden with hangers for the birds which gives me a lift. 
The continuous news about Covid 19 and the reactions/protests against the restrictions in many countries is disheartening, but I feel that anything that has growth, counteracts the negativity we  can be continuously exposed to. Not sure if this carries  any weight but it's just some thoughts. I hope you find moments away from your sadness however small.


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## Liberty

Ruthanne...recently I was thinking about "potholders".  Yeah, common potholders, but I'm still using some favorite crocheted ones our aunt Eva made for us 30 years ago! They are perfect for lifting up hot pan lids or slipping things in and out of the oven, even opening jars.

That led me to think how just doing something creative daily can make you happy.  I sketch with colored pencils and do it most every day, as well as listening to soothing music while sketching.  

Having interests is very important today I think and perhaps taking up 
a new hobby would help lift your spirits.  It changes negativea into big positives and after all these years, I still think of aunt Eva when grabbing that hot bread out of the oven.



Sketching:


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## hollydolly

Liberty said:


> Holly, what happened 8 years ago to set you on this sadness path?


Not me Liberty.... it was Charry


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## Liberty

hollydolly said:


> Not me Liberty.... it was Charry


Oh, excuse me then, please.  Glad you are doing well!


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## StarSong

To answer Ruthanne's question, I rarely feel sad but am frequently anxious these days. Between the pandemic itself, the social, political and economic problems it's causing, and the politically divisive atmosphere in the US, staving off anxiety is nearly impossible.    

As the election draws closer I've taken to reading lightweight fiction, watching rom-coms and similarly lighter fare movies, and reading rather than watching the news (it aggravates me less).


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## StarSong

Aneeda72 said:


> This is one of my favorite poems for when I am very sad.
> 
> Happiness
> by Priscilla Leonard
> 
> Happiness is like a Crystal,
> Fair and exquisite and clear,
> Broken in a million pieces,
> Shattered, scattered far and near,
> Now and then along life’s pathway,
> Lo! Some shinning fragments fall;
> But there are so many pieces
> No one ever finds them all.
> 
> You May find a bit of beauty,
> Or an honest share of wealth,
> While another just beside you
> Gathers honor, love or health.
> Vain to choose or grasp unduly,
> Broken is the perfect ball;
> And there are so many pieces
> No one ever finds them all.
> 
> Yet the wise as on they journey
> Treasure every fragment dear
> Fit them as they may together,
> Imaging the shattered sphere,
> Learning ever to be thankful,
> Through their share of it is small;
> For it has so many pieces
> No one ever finds them all.


I've never read this before.  So charming and very true.  Thanks for posting it.  ♥


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## Sassycakes

*I would have to say it's both,happy and sad. I am sad about the condition the world is in now with all the deaths from the virus. I am also happy for being so lucky to have my loved ones in my life.*


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## charry

Liberty said:


> Holly, what happened 8 years ago to set you on this sadness path?




I’m  charry , not holly ...


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## LindaB

Ruthanne said:


> I've been trying to fight it off but it's apparent that I am feeling sad in so many ways.  So many things happening and it's just hard.  I feel it must be the same for many


Yes. I feel this, too. I think it is so many things. Social isolation, not being able to do your normal activities, the divisiveness of our country here in the US, hate mongering, racism, misogyny, misinformation and the loss of societal civility. I feel sad for all of this and a kind of helplessness.


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## LindaB

PatientGrandson said:


> Lots of the Internet is optimized for making you upset. Whether it's outrage, sadness, despair... Some of our most negative emotions are the ones most effective at keeping us clicking around.
> 
> It's often a good idea to take a break and stick to the classics like reading a book, taking a walk, calling a friend - anything other than looking at a screen (even a TV).


I couldn't agree more AND take a break from all news media. It makes me happier.


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## LindaB

Camper6 said:


> I haven't seen it yet in my neck of the woods.
> 
> I checked with bar tenders and ask them what is the most popular liquor they serve.
> 
> Vodka.  Why?  It doesn't smell on the breath or so they claim.


Beg to differ...yes, it does.


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## LindaB

Camper6 said:


> Read my new thread.  If you don't want to be sad or depressed, stay away from toxic people.
> Find someone upbeat.


Sometimes "toxic" people can benefit from someone who is more positive and willing to listen and share insights. It's called "humanity."


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## Aneeda72

StarSong said:


> I've never read this before.  So charming and very true.  Thanks for posting it.  ♥


It’s from a book of poetry published in 1939.  I read a lot when I was younger, kept me away from the parents, it was “school work”, and was a great source of comfort.  I love old poetry.


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## Aneeda72

LindaB said:


> Yes. I feel this, too. I think it is so many things. Social isolation, not being able to do your normal activities, the divisiveness of our country here in the US, hate mongering, racism, misogyny, misinformation and the loss of societal civility. I feel sad for all of this and a kind of helplessness.


It is the birth of a new age, and like all births, things are difficult, confusing, and unsettling as we say goodbye to the old and usher in the new.  Things will change.  Some of us will think the changes are improvement, some will not.  I am sure the dinosaurs hated the ice age.


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## Judycat

We need better drugs.


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## StarSong

Judycat said:


> We need better drugs.


I've been saying that since the late '60s.


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## Aneeda72

Judycat said:


> We need better drugs.


We need to stop being, for the most part, spoiled Americans and learn to cope.  Our lives while restricted are, for the most part, good.  I do not have to trek on foot a hundred miles or so carrying a starving child to a medical aide center run by foreign doctors to beg for food. I’ve never had to do that.

Thousands do.  We need to keep things in perspective.


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## Judycat

But we're Americans dammit.


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## Aneeda72

Judycat said:


> But we're Americans dammit.


Yes, we are.  But we CAN do without drugs.  We can not do without TV, however.


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## StarSong

Aneeda72 said:


> Yes, we are.  *But we CAN do without drugs.*  We can not do without TV, however.


Speak for yourself, Girlfriend.


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## JustBonee

Aneeda72 said:


> We need to stop being, for the most part,* spoiled* Americans and learn to cope.  Our lives while restricted are, for the most part, good.  I do not have to trek on foot a hundred miles or so carrying a starving child to a medical aide center run by foreign doctors to beg for food. I’ve never had to do that.
> 
> Thousands do.  We need to keep things in perspective.




Yes, being spoiled is hard to combat ..    We want it all,  and we want it NOW.


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## Judycat

Let's not call them drugs. Let's call them supplements.


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## Liberty

charry said:


> I’m  charry , not holly ...


Yes, Holly already corrected me.  So what happened "charry" 8 years ago that has initiated your sadness, if you know what it was and want to share it of course  (or not).


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## needshave

I bury myself in work that I enjoy. Woodworking, Engineering and Restoring historic properties, restoring Historical and vintage automobiles, help maintaining and operating a steam locomotive, and volunteering to deliver for meals on wheels. I let the worlds impacting issues go by, and operate in my small little world. It works for me.


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## Judycat

A dependable routine keeps me from feeling sad, but oh boy, when something interrupts it, watch out.


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## Aneeda72

needshave said:


> I bury myself in work that I enjoy. Woodworking, Engineering and Restoring historic properties, restoring Historical and vintage automobiles, help maintaining and operating a steam locomotive, and volunteering to deliver for meals on wheels. I let the worlds impacting issues go by, and operate in my small little world. It works for me.


I have an historic property which I am  restoring, but I do not enjoy doing it.  Stupid money pit of an old house.


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## Shalimar

Judycat said:


> Let's not call them drugs. Let's call them supplements.


Absolutely. I am delighted certain supplements have been legal in Canada for awhile now. Where is my ceramic cat pipe?


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## Shalimar

Anyone care to join me? I have cinnamon buns fresh from the oven for munchies


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## tbeltrans

Phoenix said:


> Actually the mind can hold a happy thought and a sad one at the same time.  The heart also knows both at the same time.  We each have to deal with this in the way that is right for us.  One size never fits all.



Do you know what the combination of a happy and sad thought is called: a "sappy" thought.   Just kidding!  However, what you say is an interesting thing to consider.

Tony


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## Gaer

Phoenix said:


> Actually the mind can hold a happy thought and a sad one at the same time.  The heart also knows both at the same time.  We each have to deal with this in the way that is right for us.  One size never fits all.


I have been giving this a great deal of thought.     It's an interesting question: Can two opposite ends of the spectrum inhabit the same space at the same infinitesimal, split second, in this relative field of thought?
One thought is everything is so intimatly universally connected with everything else, it might not even be possible for us to distinguish completely.
Another is: The creation of an original thought, even though integrating with everything in the absolute, has to be an individual action.
But there is a relative and an absolute.  In time, there is a linear and an eternal, which flows in all directions.  In the unlimited field of influence, all things are possible, and if one views thought as waves of energy circling,  So, In the eternal viewpoint, and taking in the concept of the multiverse,  not only can two diverse ends occupy this at the same time, but all thought between.  I was speaking from the gross, relative ever changing state of life, not the absolute unmanifested character.


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## Shalimar

Gaer, I don’t think I truly understand the context of your comments. I am not an intellectual. However, for those of us who have the ability to process both linear and lateral thoughts, I believe holding happy and sad thoughts simultaneously is a frequent occurrence. Rather like smiling and crying at the same time.


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## Ruthanne

Thank you to all who have posted here; your feedback has been helpful.


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## jerry old

another dark, rainy day, several of these in a row, really twist  your perception
especially, when you can't get out of the house


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## needshave

Gaer,
 Well said. I believe everything is universally connected with everything else, sometimes it is not possible for us to distinguish the association completely. We can't see the forrest for all the trees. Yet another person, not so close to the situation at hand, can recognize the association immediately, communicate the concept, hence an idea.


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## charry

Liberty said:


> Yes, Holly already corrected me.  So what happened "charry" 8 years ago that has initiated your sadness, if you know what it was and want to share it of course  (or not).




My husband had a massive stroke,......turned our life upside down,, and it’s been a rollercoaster since ..we ve had no support....it’s jyst been us.......im his shadow carer   I've not left  his side since then ...mike is paralysed down his left side...he can’t do anything for himself .....I .miss my lovely man ..


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## Gaer

charry said:


> My husband had a massive stroke,......turned our life upside down,, and it’s been a rollercoaster since ..we ve had no support....it’s jyst been us.......im his shadow carer   I've not left  his side since then ...mike is paralysed down his left side...he can’t do anything for himself .....I .miss my lovely man ..


Oh Charry!  I'm so sorry that happened!  What a beautiful lady you are to be by his side all the time!  It takes great inner strength to do what you are doing.  Bless you!


----------



## needshave

Charry, I'm so very proud of you. I certainly feel your sadness.


----------



## Liberty

Gaer said:


> I have been giving this a great deal of thought.     It's an interesting question: Can two opposite ends of the spectrum inhabit the same space at the same infinitesimal, split second, in this relative field of thought?
> One thought is everything is so intimatly universally connected with everything else, it might not even be possible for us to distinguish completely.
> Another is: The creation of an original thought, even though integrating with everything in the absolute, has to be an individual action.
> But there is a relative and an absolute.  In time, there is a linear and an eternal, which flows in all directions.  In the unlimited field of influence, all things are possible, and if one views thought as waves of energy circling,  So, In the eternal viewpoint, and taking in the concept of the multiverse,  not only can two diverse ends occupy this at the same time, but all thought between.  I was speaking from the gross, relative ever changing state of life, not the absolute unmanifested character.


The sage expression is to "find the joy in sorrow".


----------



## Liberty

charry said:


> My husband had a massive stroke,......turned our life upside down,, and it’s been a rollercoaster since ..we ve had no support....it’s jyst been us.......im his shadow carer   I've not left  his side since then ...mike is paralysed down his left side...he can’t do anything for himself .....I .miss my lovely man ..


Oh my heavens.  Of course your world would be turned upside down.
Is he making some progress at all?  Won't the medical insurance system pay for some care giving help for you at all?


----------



## Pecos

charry said:


> My husband had a massive stroke,......turned our life upside down,, and it’s been a rollercoaster since ..we ve had no support....it’s jyst been us.......im his shadow carer   I've not left  his side since then ...mike is paralysed down his left side...he can’t do anything for himself .....I .miss my lovely man ..


Oh I am so sorry for both of you. This is such a heavy load to carry.
Bless you.


----------



## chic

I do feel very sad lately too. All of you have brought up such good points as to why and what to do. I'm just blue. The only thing I love to do anymore is sleep, which is so unlike me. Last night I was bored and made a new necklace because I love jewelry making, but when finished, I felt sadder because no one really sees me anymore. Not like they used to. I just feel invisible. 

I'm so sad because of all the hate in the world right now and the poverty too. I got a shocking bill today from my internet bundler for almost $400. because they got the payment wrong on my last bill and though I did pay, it wasn't recorded by the bank for the full amount.  Now I really can't pay it because I'm struggling financially like so many and I feel like, there goes Xmas this year.

I do believe the virus will end soon but I've lost almost a year of my life with no recompense. I'd settle for a billion dollars  and I think that's fair because time is irreplaceable and I'll be older and uglier by the time I get out again and back to what life is left.

What helps me is thinking of spring and summer, my favorite seasons and surrounding myself with those images just about everywhere. It does help a little.


----------



## Gary O'

Daniel brannum said:


> Do things that make you happy rather than trying to be happy. Because when you do or engage in things that make you happy, you will be happy automatically.


Heck, I don't really know
I mean, I'm already happy, so I don't have to try...I'm already there
Plenty around for unhappiness or sadness
It just doesn't affect me
I wake up happy (this used to bug hell outa my wife)
And....I go to bed happy (this does not bug my wife)
There's no trying

Maybe I have too much serotonin and/or dopamine 
Been that way since I can remember


----------



## Shalimar

charry said:


> My husband had a massive stroke,......turned our life upside down,, and it’s been a rollercoaster since ..we ve had no support....it’s jyst been us.......im his shadow carer   I've not left  his side since then ...mike is paralysed down his left side...he can’t do anything for himself .....I .miss my lovely man ..


Oh, my dear, how difficult that must be for you on so many levels. Sending love  and hugs. You are an incredibly brave woman.


----------



## Shalimar

chic said:


> I do feel very sad lately too. All of you have brought up such good points as to why and what to do. I'm just blue. The only thing I love to do anymore is sleep, which is so unlike me. Last night I was bored and made a new necklace because I love jewelry making, but when finished, I felt sadder because no one really sees me anymore. Not like they used to. I just feel invisible.
> 
> I'm so sad because of all the hate in the world right now and the poverty too. I got a shocking bill today from my internet bundler for almost $400. because they got the payment wrong on my last bill and though I did pay, it wasn't recorded by the bank for the full amount.  Now I really can't pay it because I'm struggling financially like so many and I feel like, there goes Xmas this year.
> 
> I do believe the virus will end soon but I've lost almost a year of my life with no recompense. I'd settle for a billion dollars  and I think that's fair because time is irreplaceable and I'll be older and uglier by the time I get out again and back to what life is left.
> 
> What helps me is thinking of spring and summer, my favorite seasons and surrounding myself with those images just about everywhere. It does help a little.
> 
> View attachment 130539


Chic, hugs, I am so sorry you are blue. One thing though, we all age, but with your bone structure and innate elegance, you will still be beautiful at ninety.


----------



## Aneeda72

Shalimar said:


> Chic, hugs, I am so sorry you are blue. One thing though, we all age, but with your bone structure and innate elegance, you will still be beautiful at ninety.


Where as I will still be fat


----------



## Shalimar

Another reason why some may be strongly affected by the current situation.....having an empathetic nature. Sometimes, the price of such sensitivity is high, whereas other  people often seem better able to block out the rest of the world and concentrate on their own needs


----------



## Granny B.

Ruthanne said:


> I've been trying to fight it off but it's apparent that I am feeling sad in so many ways.  So many things happening and it's just hard.  I feel it must be the same for many


Thanks for starting this thread. It's clear it hits home for many. I'm feeling the same sadness, about the overall state of things. I had been away from this forum for quite some time, but it was my sadness that drew me back here. Just being able to share these feelings with others who understand helps. And all the lighter threads help to distract me for a while.


----------



## FastTrax

Gaer said:


> I've read all the comments above and for someone to come along all bubbly and happy would only irritate all you wonderful people.  I want to speak plain and straight.
> 
> The entire atmosphere of the world is filled with thoughts of this sadness with which you are responding.
> You are only a value judgement from changing your quality of thought. This is a choice of your mind.
> The mind can't hold a happy thought and a sad thought at the same moment.  Why would you choose to feel sad when you can feel happiness?
> You can establish your own happiness.  You have the power to SHIFT your thinking.  Please don't give up today's happiness to embrace misery.
> 
> Be thankful for what you have right now.  You might be feeling the tenderness of your soul.  This tenderness also holds tremendous love, tremendous sadness, and the softest joy.  To experience this is a wonderful growth of the soul.  Allow yourself to feel this but then as you return to activity and the thinking level of the mind, create a light, happy attitude to attract joy into your life. Gently,take care of your body, your mind and your surroundings.  You can value every moment and love everything that happens in your life! We can all get through this!



Gaer You are a very wise and astute person. Your wisdom is boundless and beyond compare. I have two examples of one that can be happy and sad and even angry at the same time. Many times a mother cried in loss and laughed in happiness at her daughters wedding. Mixed emotions are not rare. Many a bride has cried in loss and laughed at happiness at her own wedding. Many a parent has cried in anguish then laughed uncontrollably when a lost child has come from under the coat rack. To think otherwise lacks imagination. Many thanks for your comment and GOD bless.


----------



## Don M.

This year has been a real strain on people....both physically and mentally.  The Corona Virus, and it's impact on the personal lives and routines for millions of people.....the weeks of reports of civil unrest in many of the cities....the wild swings in the financial markets....the forest fires in the West, and the flooding storms in the Gulf states, the ridiculous rhetoric surrounding the elections....and on and on.  It has really been hard to find some Good news this year.   
In times like this, it is very important for people to find something of interest to occupy their time and minds.


----------



## chic

Shalimar said:


> Chic, hugs, I am so sorry you are blue. One thing though, we all age, but with your bone structure and innate elegance, you will still be beautiful at ninety.



It's not that really Shal, . I'm not that shallow. I can only describe what I feel as sustained suffering from lack of positive anticipation in life. I live in a state in my country where everything fun has been shut down or has been forbidden to control the virus which leaves us with very little to do for fun. Lack of fun is harmful after extended periods of time. You just sort of survive,but it's not really living. This is what is so difficult. Hugs back.


----------



## Shalimar

chic said:


> It's not that really Shal, . I'm not that shallow. I can only describe what I feel as sustained suffering from lack of positive anticipation in life. I live in a state in my country where everything fun has been shut down or has been forbidden to control the virus which leaves us with very little to do for fun. Lack of fun is harmful after extended periods of time. You just sort of survive,but it's not really living. This is what is so difficult. Hugs back.


Eek, I never meant to suggest you are shallow, merely pointing out a truth as I saw it. Life without fun is demoralizing to say the least, destroys the inner balance we need in order to cope with the current uncertainty. No wonder you are suffering. Sending love and positive energy your way.


----------



## Aneeda72

chic said:


> It's not that really Shal, . I'm not that shallow. I can only describe what I feel as sustained suffering from lack of positive anticipation in life. I live in a state in my country where everything fun has been shut down or has been forbidden to control the virus which leaves us with very little to do for fun. Lack of fun is harmful after extended periods of time. You just sort of survive,but it's not really living. This is what is so difficult. Hugs back.


I am always curious about why people say certain things so your post is very interesting.  What fun things were you doing before that you can not do now?  For me, taking my son with Down Syndrome out every Saturday was the highlight of our lives, and totally fun.  Expensive , but fun.

The virus has ended all that, and for a while we were limited to seeing him only at his home-a real bummer for us.  Our other disabled son is still in complete lockdown at his group home.  We can only see him at the door.  He is really bored.  Pretty sure he lacks fun.

Now my DS son comes to the house for lunch, and returns to his group home.  But still fun.  In the car, now that his dad is 74, he said his dad needs to go into a nursing home.  His dad asked him then “who will make your lunch”.  Mom, he said.  Really?, his dad replied.

He thought a moment.  “Oh, that’s right, mom Is a bad cook.”  

Can‘t you find a means of fun at home?  Learn a craft, buy a computer game (I recommend WOW), color, watch tv, see how much dust piles up on the furniture in a month.  We only go out shopping on fridays now, the virus is just too bad.  Stay safe.


----------



## Liberty

Its also normal for a lot of people to get sad in the late fall, with winter approaching.  Less light, less daytime hours.  SAD, too...lol.

Lets all perk up...and smell the coffee brewing.  Life is still good!
Lots to be thankful for.


----------



## Aneeda72

Liberty said:


> Its also normal for a lot of people to get sad in the late fall, with winter approaching.  Less light, less daytime hours.  SAD, too...lol.
> 
> Lets all perk up...and smell the coffee brewing.  Life is still good!
> Lots to be thankful for.


Well, I don’t like coffee.


----------



## Keesha

charry said:


> My husband had a massive stroke,......turned our life upside down,, and it’s been a rollercoaster since ..we ve had no support....it’s jyst been us.......im his shadow carer   I've not left  his side since then ...mike is paralysed down his left side...he can’t do anything for himself .....I .miss my lovely man ..


I’m so sorry charry. 
That’s a really tough one.


Liberty said:


> Its also normal for a lot of people to get sad in the late fall, with winter approaching.  Less light, less daytime hours.  SAD, too...lol.
> 
> Lets all perk up...and smell the coffee brewing.  Life is still good!
> Lots to be thankful for.


Yes! It ‘seems’ that people with underlying depressive disorders are most susceptible to seasonal affective disorder and those who are natural empaths can’t help but feel the sadness and despair from others. Staying extra focussed on tasks or hobbies seems to greatly help as well as daily walks.


----------



## charry

Shalimar said:


> Oh, my dear, how difficult that must be for you on so many levels. Sending love ❤ and hugs. You are an incredibly brave woman.




Thankyou Shalimar...


----------



## charry

Liberty said:


> Oh my heavens.  Of course your world would be turned upside down.
> Is he making some progress at all?  Won't the medical insurance system pay for some care giving help for you at all?




No progress, ... We tried carers,but hopeless.....I prefer to care for him myself ....


----------



## FastTrax

Liberty said:


> Its also normal for a lot of people to get sad in the late fall, with winter approaching.  Less light, less daytime hours.  SAD, too...lol.
> 
> Lets all perk up...and smell the coffee brewing.  Life is still good!
> Lots to be thankful for.



I used to get depressed when I bought Christmas presents for my family and my Christmas presents were the credit card statements. Not anymore after seeing my stink rotten girls faces light up in glee when they tore into their presents like human hurricanes. Now I simply enjoy those cherished moments in time. Thanks for reading.


----------



## Ruthanne

Moods can change from moment to moment and day to day.  Finding things of interest to do in your own environment can be very useful now and that's just what I'm doing now.  Too much of the news now a days can be disheartening and the repetitiveness of it, too, I think we can only take so much of it.  I'm trying to keep my spirits up and yes, that can be hard after awhile, too, so I do let into the sadness of it all, too, and have a cry, too.  Crying releases tension and can really help although I don't do it all the time.

I don't have reliable people offline that I can talk to.  I do have a friend that only vents about his physical illness all the time or the leaders of the country doing this and that.  So, he is not a good option.  I do find some comfort in talking to my dear pets--they look at me attentively and listen.  Sometimes I will see one of the neighbors and have a little chat with them but that's not very often.  

I don't feel that I can go out and socialize and meet new people at this time either with the virus surging in my state and having several underlying conditions.  I guess none of us know how we would fare if we came down with the virus and I'm not willing to risk it by going out socializing now.

I am having a pretty good day today and I am really thankful for that!


----------



## Aneeda72

charry said:


> No progress, ... We tried carers,but hopeless.....I prefer to care for him myself ....


When we adopted our extremely disabled son, he was supposed to have fetal alcohol syndrome.  We said we would adopt any child as long as the child could walk.  He was featured on a local tv show, was 18 months old, and adorable.  We fell in love right away.

Turns out he had quadriplegic cerebral palsy, a seizure disorder, mild mental retardation, and a slew of other issues.  We were asked if we wanted to return him.  Hmm.  He is, of course, total care.  We cared for him till he was 18 and he choose to go into a group home.  

I have an ideal how hard it is for you.  But remember in order for you to care for your husband, you must also take care of yourself.  Could you not get part time help?  My heart goes out to you.  If you want to vent via PM, I am willing to listen.


----------



## Shalimar

charry said:


> Thankyou Shalimar...


You are most welcome, Charry


----------



## RadishRose

Bless you @charry. Stay strong.


----------



## Aunt Marg

Aneeda72 said:


> When we adopted our extremely disabled son, he was supposed to have fetal alcohol syndrome.  We said we would adopt any child as long as the child could walk.  He was featured on a local tv show, was 18 months old, and adorable.  We fell in love right away.
> 
> Turns out he had quadriplegic cerebral palsy, a seizure disorder, mild mental retardation, and a slew of other issues.  We were asked if we wanted to return him.  Hmm.  He is, of course, total care.  We cared for him till he was 18 and he choose to go into a group home.
> 
> I have an ideal how hard it is for you.  But remember in order for you to care for your husband, you must also take care of yourself.  Could you not get part time help?  My heart goes out to you.  If you want to vent via PM, I am willing to listen.


Bless you and your husband, Aneeda.


----------



## Ruthanne

One thing I always feel concerned and sad about is that I have a condition where I could bleed out at any moment and have no one else here and I'm afraid my pets wouldn't know what to do.  It has been keeping me awake at night lately worrying about it and there's really nothing I can do.


----------



## Aneeda72

Ruthanne said:


> One thing I always feel concerned and sad about is that I have a condition where I could bleed out at any moment and have no one else here and I'm afraid my pets wouldn't know what to do.  It has been keeping me awake at night lately worrying about it and there's really nothing I can do.


I am sorry you worry so much about this.  It can be frightening as I know.  How long have you had the condition?  Maybe you should wear one of those medical buttons around your neck so you can press it to get help.  Would you have time to do that?

Oh, gosh, is there any medical condition I don’t have.  Yup, my prostate is just fine.  My husband carries it around in a sack.  

I have a brain aneurysm on the right carotid artery.  It cannot be operated on or coiled.  I joke that when it goes, I go with it.  But I have had one very minor brain bleed from it.  Gives you the headache from hell, you truly wish you’d die, plus a few other OMG that hurts issues.  But the good news, if it breaks instead of leaks, I’ll bleed out before I realize I’m bleeding.

Then about four/five years later I was having my yearly brain MRI, (which I refuse to get anymore) and, yup, a small aneurysm on the communication artery at the top of my head.  Oh, goody.  Can’t be operated on, can’t be coiled.   

Then I am having an MRI on my lungs, COPD and lung scarring, on the lower left lobe, but, hey, I wear a mask.  And I win the TRIFECTA.  An aneurysm on the iliac artery in my abdomen, incidental finding, .

I have learned that it does no good to worry.  @Ruthanne.  What will happen, will happen.  Perhaps you could talk to someone in therapy about it or someone here that you can vent to when you are ready, like me or someone else.  Or, just post about the details.  It helps to vent.  Stay safe.


----------



## Pinky

Ruthanne said:


> One thing I always feel concerned and sad about is that I have a condition where I could bleed out at any moment and have no one else here and I'm afraid my pets wouldn't know what to do.  It has been keeping me awake at night lately worrying about it and there's really nothing I can do.


@Ruthanne   Could you get one of those things that you wear like a necklace, that you could push to call 911?

Aneeda posted just before me, and addressed what I mentioned.


----------



## Aneeda72

Pinky said:


> @Ruthanne   Could you get one of those things that you wear like a necklace, that you could push to call 911?
> 
> Aneeda posted just before me, and addressed what I mentioned.


Great minds think alike.


----------



## Ruthanne

I can't afford one of those systems.


----------



## Aneeda72

Ruthanne said:


> I can't afford one of those systems.


I don't have one.

But check with your senior care department in the county you live in and they might be able to get you one at no cost.  Check with catholic services in your area, they might get you one.  You don’t have to be Catholic.  Other people on here will have ideals as well.


----------



## Ruthanne

Been thinking about it and I can go over my expenses and see if I can eliminate anything and then call about a Life Alert or similar.  Another thing is that if I'm sleeping and it happens I may not wake up...ever.


----------



## Ruthanne

Aneeda72 said:


> I don't have one.
> 
> But check with your senior care department in the county you live in and they might be able to get you one at no cost.  Check with catholic services in your area, they might get you one.  You don’t have to be Catholic.  Other people on here will have ideals as well.


Okay.  I was baptized Catholic.  Thanks.


----------



## Aneeda72

Ruthanne said:


> Okay.  I was baptized Catholic.  Thanks.


Also and I logged back in before I forgot this, , if you live in a multi housing situation, get an air horn.  Air horns are cheap and tell your neighbors if they hear the horn to call the paramedics or police.  I used to carry one when I worked nights.  You can get small loud ones.


----------



## Aunt Marg

Aneeda72 said:


> Oh, gosh, is there any medical condition I don’t have.  Yup, my prostate is just fine.


ROFLMAO!


----------



## Ruthanne

Aneeda72 said:


> Also and I logged back in before I forgot this, , if you live in a multi housing situation, get an air horn.  Air horns are cheap and tell your neighbors if they hear the horn to call the paramedics or police.  I used to carry one when I worked nights.  You can get small loud ones.


Yes, I do live in a multi apt. situation but when you hear noises it's not easy to tell where they are coming from.  But thanks for the idea anyhow.


----------



## Ruthanne

Aneeda72 said:


> I don't have one.
> 
> But check with your senior care department in the county you live in and they might be able to get you one at no cost.  Check with catholic services in your area, they might get you one.  You don’t have to be Catholic.  Other people on here will have ideals as well.


I wasn't really talking about the device that you get from Life Alert but the service that you pay for and I don't think that any kind of charitable organization would pay my monthly bill.

I am thinking of just using my landline telephone and hoping that if it does happen that I can get my hands on the landline all right.


----------



## charry

Aneeda72 said:


> When we adopted our extremely disabled son, he was supposed to have fetal alcohol syndrome.  We said we would adopt any child as long as the child could walk.  He was featured on a local tv show, was 18 months old, and adorable.  We fell in love right away.
> 
> Turns out he had quadriplegic cerebral palsy, a seizure disorder, mild mental retardation, and a slew of other issues.  We were asked if we wanted to return him.  Hmm.  He is, of course, total care.  We cared for him till he was 18 and he choose to go into a group home.
> 
> I have an ideal how hard it is for you.  But remember in order for you to care for your husband, you must also take care of yourself.  Could you not get part time help?  My heart goes out to you.  If you want to vent via PM, I am willing to listen.




Thankyou for your kind words and concern aneeda , 

I’m so sorry to hear of your situation with your son, you sound amazing and so does your son , bless him.....xx

My husband and I  have  literally been  together (joined at the hip)  24/7 since we met 36 yrs ago...after our both disastrous first marriages.......I would be totally lost without him,even for a few hours ......
Thankfully his brain wasn’t  affected and he’s my guidance and councillor , my soul mate, .....
I dread to think what is at  the end of our tunnel.......No Light....


----------



## Aneeda72

charry said:


> Thankyou for your kind words and concern aneeda ,
> 
> I’m so sorry to hear of your situation with your son, you sound amazing and so does your son , bless him.....xx
> 
> My husband and I  have  literally been  together (joined at the hip)  24/7 since we met 36 yrs ago...after our both disastrous first marriages.......I would be totally lost without him,even for a few hours ......
> Thankfully his brain wasn’t  affected and he’s my guidance and councillor , my soul mate, .....
> I dread to think what is at  the end of our tunnel.......No Light....


Oh, Charry, I have had so many sad days in my life I can so understand what you mean.  While I am not amazing (but thanks for saying so) my son certainly is.  He always has a smile on his face, always.  Everyone, in the family, has a great sense of humor which keeps us going in the worst of times, and we have had a lot of worst times.

I too had a disastrous first marriage, oh wait, second is not that great either , but far from a disaster, thank heaven.  But with all I have been through, and I have been through a lot, I know, I KNOW, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  It’s just it’s a very very long tunnel.

The death of three infant sons-who could imagine that would happen, who could imagine that we would live through it, who could imagine that we could ever smile again.  Who could imagine that we would ever have another child?  Who could imagine there ever being light in the world again?

Until we saw a mixed race 18 month old disabled child on tv with cute little crossed eyes and a smile that lit up the world.  A child who needed us as much as we needed him.

I am glad your husbands brain was not effected, but even if it had been, you would still love him as much, still care for him as much.  But try not and dread the end of the tunnel.  It’s a long tunnel, and it is not straight.  It is full of twists and turns, stops and goes, and surprises.  Some good, some bad, but surprises none the less.

The light at the end of the tunnel, for most of us, is hidden from view; but it is there.  It is always there.  Take care of yourself.  Stay safe.  

There was a poem that brought me great comfort when my sons died.  I will add it later.


----------



## Aneeda72

Ruthanne said:


> I wasn't really talking about the device that you get from Life Alert but the service that you pay for and I don't think that any kind of charitable organization would pay my monthly bill.
> 
> I am thinking of just using my landline telephone and hoping that if it does happen that I can get my hands on the landline all right.


You won’t know till you ask.  Also, sometimes there are grants, you might be able to get a one time grant.  Did you check if Medicare pays or Medicaid?  Your county“s disabled services division?  Ask your doctor office for ideals?  My son had one of those devices.  I think medicaid
paid for it.  He sure did not .

My mother got Medicare to pay for oxygen instead of a c-pap machine.  She hated the machine and wanted oxygen and called and called and called until they just gave up and let her have it.  Keep trying.  Hmm, see a therapist have her say it is necessary for your continued good mental health.


----------



## Aneeda72

This may seem to be a very sad poem, but it’s uplifting, IMO.  It expresses what is so hard to say or explain.  It is, to me, poem of great sacrifice and tremendous love.  I wanted to put it here for @charry and other members who I know are in pain.

Course, if you don’t like poetry dont read it, .  It you don’t want tears, don’t read it.  I don’t ever cry, but my eyes do get watery when I read this one.

NOT THOU BUT I
by PHILIP BOURKE MARSTON

It must have been for one of us, my own,
To drink this cup and eat this bitter bread,
Had not my tears upon thy face been shed,
Thy tears had dropped on mine; if I alone 
Did not walk now, thy spirit would have know
My loneliness, and did my feet not tread
This weary path and steep, thy feet had bled
For mind, and thy mouth had for mine made moan;
And so it COMFORTS me, yea, not in vain

To think of thy eternity of sleep,
To know thine eyes are tearless though mine weep;
And when this cup”s last bitterness I drain,
One thought shall still its primal sweetness keep-
Thou hadst the peace and I the undying pain.


----------



## charry

Aneeda72 said:


> This may seem to be a very sad poem, but it’s uplifting, IMO.  It expresses what is so hard to say or explain.  It is, to me, poem of great sacrifice and tremendous love.  I wanted to put it here for @charry and other members who I know are in pain.
> 
> Course, if you don’t like poetry dont read it, .  It you don’t want tears, don’t read it.  I don’t ever cry, but my eyes do get watery when I read this one.
> 
> NOT THOU BUT I
> by PHILIP BOURKE MARSTON
> 
> It must have been for one of us, my own,
> To drink this cup and eat this bitter bread,
> Had not my tears upon thy face been shed,
> Thy tears had dropped on mine; if I alone
> Did not walk now, thy spirit would have know
> My loneliness, and did my feet not tread
> This weary path and steep, thy feet had bled
> For mind, and thy mouth had for mine made moan;
> And so it COMFORTS me, yea, not in vain
> 
> To think of thy eternity of sleep,
> To know thine eyes are tearless though mine weep;
> And when this cup”s last bitterness I drain,
> One thought shall still its primal sweetness keep-
> Thou hadst the peace and I the undying pain.




Beautiful........
Thankyou for sharing Aneeda.........


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## charry

Aneeda72 said:


> Oh, Charry, I have had so many sad days in my life I can so understand what you mean.  While I am not amazing (but thanks for saying so) my son certainly is.  He always has a smile on his face, always.  Everyone, in the family, has a great sense of humor which keeps us going in the worst of times, and we have had a lot of worst times.
> 
> I too had a disastrous first marriage, oh wait, second is not that great either , but far from a disaster, thank heaven.  But with all I have been through, and I have been through a lot, I know, I KNOW, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  It’s just it’s a very very long tunnel.
> 
> The death of three infant sons-who could imagine that would happen, who could imagine that we would live through it, who could imagine that we could ever smile again.  Who could imagine that we would ever have another child?  Who could imagine there ever being light in the world again?
> 
> Until we saw a mixed race 18 month old disabled child on tv with cute little crossed eyes and a smile that lit up the world.  A child who needed us as much as we needed him.
> 
> I am glad your husbands brain was not effected, but even if it had been, you would still love him as much, still care for him as much.  But try not and dread the end of the tunnel.  It’s a long tunnel, and it is not straight.  It is full of twists and turns, stops and goes, and surprises.  Some good, some bad, but surprises none the less.
> 
> The light at the end of the tunnel, for most of us, is hidden from view; but it is there.  It is always there.  Take care of yourself.  Stay safe.
> 
> There was a poem that brought me great comfort when my sons died.  I will add it later.




Thankyou


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## StarSong

@Aneeda72 and @charry, I cannot imagine the difficult paths you both navigate unflinchingly and without complaint.  
My heart goes out to you both.  As does my admiration.  
♥♥♥


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## officerripley

Yes, Aneeda & Charry, my heart too goes out to you both. My husband & I did not have kids; so I worry about just your same situation, Charry, since he and I only have each other and are not getting any younger. In fact, a lot of us--and on other sites I visit--are dealing with a lot. So glad that there is this site and others to vent on. You all rock & have the biggest hearts. ❤


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## fmdog44

Sad to see the numbers all over the world soaring.


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## Keesha

StarSong said:


> @Aneeda72  I cannot imagine the difficult paths you navigate unflinchingly and without complaint.


Without complaint?


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## Ruthanne

Thank you to all of you in this thread who have been supportive to one another and also to those of you who were giving me some support too.

I started this thread so people could be supportive of each other in these sad days
with whatever situation they are experiencing and I'm glad that happened for them.


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## Ruthanne

Shalimar said:


> Absolutely. Frankly, at this point, I don’t know anyone who isn’t struggling. Covid makes life so stressful in so many ways. It amplifies one’s other concerns, difficult to remain cheerful rather than overwhelmed Living alone often exacerbates feelings of isolation, depression, anxiety, we just don’t know what will happen next. Trying to be patient and strong long term is exhausting.


Yes it is exhausting!  It's been hard for me to get back to the replies because it seems to bring up more sadness for me and I'm trying to fend off the sadness.  But my feelings of isolation, depression and anxiety have been amplified lately and I try my best to keep them at bay until I'm almost to the breaking point where I can't stop those feelings any longer.  

You are so right about not knowing what is next.  Today I was sitting here counting the days from when I was at the grocery store and noticing I have been sneezing and nose running and a bit of a cough...and then wondering if I am coming down with the virus or is it my allergies acting up worse than usual.  I do this after every time I go to a store or encounter people.  It can be very tiring doing this but seems like it's almost necessary in these days.  Worrying about catching the virus must be on many people's minds after they go out anywhere these days.  And I often feel just so worn out from it all lately.  I will be so happy when this period of time comes to an end.  I have almost lost my hope about it ever getting better and then I have to remember I have always been a person who practices hope.  So, I'll try to muster some up!

Thank you for your posts.


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## Ruthanne

Camper6 said:


> Every day give yourself a treat of some sort.  It lifts the spirit.
> 
> And you deserve it.


Good idea there, thanks.


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## Ruthanne

Ferocious said:


> *When I'm feeling a bit down, I make my way to the big mirror in the hall. I turn and face the mirror and tell the bloke looking at me,"You are one really handsome beggar", but he always replies, "Why thank you, but I can't lie, Ferry, you're not."
> Hmmmm......I've got the utmost respect for truthful mirrors, but it would be nice if it fibbed now and again. *


Your keen sense of humor is always appreciated!


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## Ruthanne

Pecos said:


> In my opinion it would be abnormal to not feel sad. Between the virus and all of its impacts and the toxic political/behavioral situation we are in you (we) are completely justified in feeling sad.
> 
> Intellectually, we know that "this too will pass", but emotionally it is another matter as we contemplate not being able to quickly return to a life that we knew and loved. The inability to interact with loved ones, travel, enjoy eating out, and feel good about our futures is very draining.
> 
> I suppose that this emotional strain is similar to that felt during WWI and WWII, when things were not looking good at all, but our parents and grandparent hung in there and the world recovered. We shall do the same.  Our role is to do the best we can under the circumstances and fight our way through these times even as we do feel sad.
> 
> Ruthanne, I think there is real merit in raising this subject for discussion as you have done. This forum is full of supportive people and you are one of them. Hang in there my friend!


Yes, I'm hanging in there and thank you.  I have to remember that:  "This too shall pass."  And the sooner the better!  It is a big emotional strain for most.  On TV they have been bringing up our mental health in regard to covid and I think it said more than 40% are suffering more now during these virus times.


----------



## Ruthanne

debodun said:


> Too many odd and stressful things happening recently. I don't know if it's sadness I feel, but I *DO* feel like I am waiting for another shoe to drop.


Oh, yes.  That is very familiar to me, too.


----------



## Ruthanne

Pecos said:


> I suppose that we can all find some beauty to divert our emotions away from the dark side. I watch the sunset every evening and the beauty of it is very uplifting. Coffee in the morning with my wife and the two Bichons is beautiful and makes me feel good. The moon is there to enjoy when the dogs make their final potty call before bedtime. Talking on the phone with family members and friends helps me stay balanced. Exercising daily and minimizing exposure to the news is extremely important.
> 
> Oh yes, indulging in my favorite ice cream plays a role too.
> 
> What are your little tricks for staying upbeat?


Well, been trying to keep "up" with nice music and talking to the pets mostly.  I take the dog out and we walk.  I try to  get enough sleep but lately haven't been able to and that's been a strain as it makes things feel even worse than they are.  I Did manage to get a nice 2 hour nap this afternoon which really helped.  Ice cream would be real nice!  I'm glad you find things in your life to make you happy!


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## Ruthanne

Treacle said:


> @Ruthanne. I try to grow plants and/or herbs indoors. The reason I am writing this in response to your post is that the very nature of growth gives me a positive lift in my mood. Psychologically seeing growth gives hope and future. I have also put a new stand in the garden with hangers for the birds which gives me a lift.
> The continuous news about Covid 19 and the reactions/protests against the restrictions in many countries is disheartening, but I feel that anything that has growth, counteracts the negativity we  can be continuously exposed to. Not sure if this carries  any weight but it's just some thoughts. I hope you find moments away from your sadness however small.


Plants are great aren't they?  I tend to mine every week.  The beauty of them all puts me in awe.  Your post means a lot, thank you.


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## Gaer

deleted


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## Aneeda72

Gaer said:


> Ruthanne, all of us here love you and will help you through this.  It's only a temporary situation.
> I have some exercises that may help.  Even if they give you a little HOPE, it's worth a try.
> You mentioned your plants.  Your plants are ALIVE!   Everything is alive.  REALIZE THIS!  Be thankful to be alive.
> First, take out two pieces of paper.
> On one sheet of paper, write down all the things you're thankful for.   Your house?  your plants?  your pets?  clean sheets?  food?  fresh air?
> your vehicle?  just list everything you can think of.  They don't have to be things. They can be qualities and attributes.
> On the second piece of paper, write down all the things you LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF.   let's see. " people on SF like me, I have a nice figure, I like my hair, I'm kind. I  am gracious. I'm healthy." whatever you can think of!  your accomplishments, your personality, everything.
> Come on, You can think of more than that!  keep writing!
> Now, Go to the mirror, look at yourself and SMILE!  I know this sounds stupid but it's a "fake it until you make it".
> EVERYTHING IS GOING TO  BE FINE!
> Do you have access to "affirmations" on the computer?  Quotes that you can repeat, even if you don't believe them yet?  Just repeat them. Remember them and they will become part of you and help you through the rough spots, like now.
> Next:  Eat right.  Eat protein.    Move.  Play music you like.  Dance by yourself.  Dance with your dog.
> One thing is to clean and organize your surroundings.   Prepare yourself and your home, your property for wonders to occur.
> Pray.  Ask your angels to surround you and help you through this.  You may not see them of hear them, but FEEL them with you.  Believe me, they are with you!  BE AWARE OF THEM!  They cherish you and want to help you.
> Do you have a goal?  Something you would like to  accomplish?  Do one little thing every day towards that goal.  Keep it in your mind that you WILL DO THIS!  Plan it.  Think about it.
> Keep telling yourself, EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE FINE!  because it WILL!  (Sorry to be so verbose!)
> Between all of us, we will get you back on track!


Ruthanne’s current goal is to find a way to worry less about a serious medical condition by obtaining one off those, life alert services.  I’ve run out of suggestions.  Perhaps you could research this for her and help her out that way?


----------



## Ruthanne

Gaer said:


> Ruthanne, all of us here love you and will help you through this.  It's only a temporary situation.
> I have some exercises that may help.  Even if they give you a little HOPE, it's worth a try.
> You mentioned your plants.  Your plants are ALIVE!   Everything is alive.  REALIZE THIS!  Be thankful to be alive.
> First, take out two pieces of paper.
> On one sheet of paper, write down all the things you're thankful for.   Your house?  your plants?  your pets?  clean sheets?  food?  fresh air?
> your vehicle?  just list everything you can think of.  They don't have to be things. They can be qualities and attributes.
> On the second piece of paper, write down all the things you LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF.   let's see. " people on SF like me, I have a nice figure, I like my hair, I'm kind. I  am gracious. I'm healthy." whatever you can think of!  your accomplishments, your personality, everything.
> Come on, You can think of more than that!  keep writing!
> Now, Go to the mirror, look at yourself and SMILE!  I know this sounds stupid but it's a "fake it until you make it".
> EVERYTHING IS GOING TO  BE FINE!
> Do you have access to "affirmations" on the computer?  Quotes that you can repeat, even if you don't believe them yet?  Just repeat them. Remember them and they will become part of you and help you through the rough spots, like now.
> Next:  Eat right.  Eat protein.    Move.  Play music you like.  Dance by yourself.  Dance with your dog.
> One thing is to clean and organize your surroundings.   Prepare yourself and your home, your property for wonders to occur.
> Pray.  Ask your angels to surround you and help you through this.  You may not see them of hear them, but FEEL them with you.  Believe me, they are with you!  BE AWARE OF THEM!  They cherish you and want to help you.
> Do you have a goal?  Something you would like to  accomplish?  Do one little thing every day towards that goal.  Keep it in your mind that you WILL DO THIS!  Plan it.  Think about it.
> Keep telling yourself, EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE FINE!  because it WILL!  (Sorry to be so verbose!)
> Between all of us, we will get you back on track!


Thanks and for reminding of things I've forgotten.  Much appreciated!


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## MarciKS

Glad you're feeling better.


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## Ruthanne

Feeling better?  Not actually.


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## Ruthanne

@Gaer I valued your last post.  Glad I still have it as a reference for when I feel up to doing those things. Just not in a good place now.


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## MarciKS

Ruthanne said:


> Feeling better?  Not actually.


Sorry. I thought I saw a post that said you were having a better day. I misunderstood.


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## Kaila

I'm thinking of you, @Ruthanne 

There seem to be some times, to just hang in there.


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## Ruthanne

Kaila said:


> I'm thinking of you, @Ruthanne
> 
> There seem to be some times, to just hang in there.


Thank you @Kaila yep, that's about all we can do atm.


----------



## Shalimar

charry said:


> Thankyou for your kind words and concern aneeda ,
> 
> I’m so sorry to hear of your situation with your son, you sound amazing and so does your son , bless him.....xx
> 
> My husband and I  have  literally been  together (joined at the hip)  24/7 since we met 36 yrs ago...after our both disastrous first marriages.......I would be totally lost without him,even for a few hours ......
> Thankfully his brain wasn’t  affected and he’s my guidance and councillor , my soul mate, .....
> I dread to think what is at  the end of our tunnel.......No Light....





Kaila said:


> I'm thinking of you, @Ruthanne
> 
> There seem to be some times, to just hang in there.





Ruthanne said:


> Thank you @Kaila yep, that's about all we can do atm.


Hugs, Ruthanne


----------



## SeaBreeze

Ruthanne said:


> I've been trying to fight it off but it's apparent that I am feeling sad in so many ways.  So many things happening and it's just hard.  I feel it must be the same for many


My heart goes out to you Ruthanne.   I know it must be extra hard when you live alone and I know you're still missing your sweet little Alice too.  Those things coupled with the restrictions of the pandemic, the unrest and turmoil in the world especially lately has got to contribute a lot to your mood and state of mind.  I think that things will get brighter and feel more positive once the virus is under control and life is a bit more of what we're all used to.

I don't have anything bad happening in my life here, but I also feel a bit down and stressed, hard not to right now.  I hope you feel better soon and that grey cloud overhead starts to let in some warm positive light.  Love and hugs my friend.


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## MarciKS

I'm willing to bet we all do. It sucks right now. But we have to be strong and be patient. No matter how bad it sucks. It's not going to be for forever Ruthanne. Hang in there ok?


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## MarciKS




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## PamfromTx

I feel more anxious and concerned over Covid.  I fear for my entire family.  I talked to my family doctor about my fears and she didn't seem to be concerned.  Said it was normal ... because of the Covid and *quarantining* the way I do and not being able to travel to see the family.


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## PamfromTx




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## MarciKS

It's hard. We can't live a normal life without worry of contracting it and there's no guarantee we would survive. It's a matter of trying to make the best of an awful situation. We need to support each other for the long haul just in case.


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## MarciKS

I'm willing to offer whatever emotional support I can if someone wants it. We're in this together. The only way through it is going to be together.


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## PamfromTx




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## Shalimar

MarciKS said:


> I'm willing to offer whatever emotional support I can if someone wants it. We're in this together. The only way through it is going to be together.


That is wonderful, Marci. I work with some people who don’t seem to feel supported at all, it really takes it‘s toll in the long run. People such as yourself help more than you can imagine


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## MarciKS

Shalimar said:


> That is wonderful, Marci. I work with some people who don’t seem to feel supported at all, it really takes it‘s toll in the long run. People such as yourself help more than you can imagine ❤


At some point we have to stop fighting with each other and try to help each other. This world isn't an easy place to live in. It's harder when you're alone. I'm not just talking single kind of alone. I mean alone. You can be in a room full of people and still be alone. If we can't manage to lay down our grievances and work together to get through this period then things will never be right ever. JMO


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## Kaila

Ruthanne, I also remind myself that there is a lot of mold in the air, this time of year, which causes symptoms, too, and is more likely, for some of us.
 thinking of you....


----------



## Shalimar

Thank you to all the lovely people here who display their better angels for the rest of us to see. Chokes me up. Adversity brings out the best in some.


----------



## gloria

Ferocious said:


> *When I'm feeling a bit down, I make my way to the big mirror in the hall. I turn and face the mirror and tell the bloke looking at me,"You are one really handsome beggar", but he always replies, "Why thank you, but I can't lie, Ferry, you're not."
> Hmmmm......I've got the utmost respect for truthful mirrors, but it would be nice if it fibbed now and again. *


haha, yes I haven't seen a mirror I didn't like.


----------



## gloria

Packerjohn said:


> I'm afraid that things will only get worse for most people.  Not only do we have Corvid-19 but we have the usual shorter days, lack of sunshine, cold weather coming around; especially where I live in Canada.  General, in normal times, many would "escape" south to Florida, Texas or Arizona or even Mexico.  I certainly did when I was younger.  I can still remember those wonderful Happy Hours and dances at Long Island Village in Port Isabel, Texas.  Now, it's not so easy.  Also, at the beginning of winter we always get the flu season.  I really wonder how Christmas will be this year?  So many people have lost their jobs & businesses.  I bet they wouldn't be going to do any shopping sprees! Santa's "Ho, Ho, Ho" will sound pretty hollow when you have lost your job & can't buy groceries, pay the rent or the mortgage.


I agree with all your said.


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## OneEyedDiva

I've been battling mini depressions off and on; the worst was this past weekend which lasted a few days.  Usually I recuperate in a day.  It's been a rough year for me, my family and a couple of friends. I've been meaning to post about our losses but haven't been able to bring myself to compose the post yet.  Also, staying home so much gets to me sometimes.  When I really need to get something from the local supermarket (or they have a sale I can't pass up), it really helps to walk over there and engage in shopping therapy.

Even an occasional run to the post office to pick up a package or my meds, helps to break the monotony.  I got wild and crazy a week ago and took the train to the waterfront park in Hoboken, N.J. I ate my lunch while listening to the band that was right there in the gazebo I sit in. I took my walk, then relaxed and watched the ducks and the boats.  Those kinds of activities and having fun talks with friends help a lot.


----------



## Pecos

OneEyedDiva said:


> I've been battling mini depressions off and on; the worst was this past weekend which last a few days.  Usually I recuperate in a day.  It's been a rough year for me, my family and a couple of friends. I've been meaning to post about our losses but haven't been able to bring myself to compose the post yet.  Also, staying home so much gets to me sometimes.  When I really need to get something from the local supermarket (or they have a sale I can't pass up), it really helps to walk over there and engage in shopping therapy.
> 
> Even an occasional run to the post office to pick up a package or my meds, helps to break the monotony.  I got wild and crazy a week ago and took the train to the waterfront park in Hoboken, N.J. I ate my lunch while listening to the band that was right there in the gazebo I sit in. I took my walk, then relaxed and watched the ducks and the boats.  Those kinds of activities and having fun talks with friends help a lot.


I feel sorry for what you are having to deal with, especially at this time when COVID has imposed such restrictions on our daily lives. It just kicks the support system out from under us when we need it the most.

Your trip out for lunch sounds wonderful and did you a "world of good."


----------



## Aneeda72

OneEyedDiva said:


> I've been battling mini depressions off and on; the worst was this past weekend which last a few days.  Usually I recuperate in a day.  It's been a rough year for me, my family and a couple of friends. I've been meaning to post about our losses but haven't been able to bring myself to compose the post yet.  Also, staying home so much gets to me sometimes.  When I really need to get something from the local supermarket (or they have a sale I can't pass up), it really helps to walk over there and engage in shopping therapy.
> 
> Even an occasional run to the post office to pick up a package or my meds, helps to break the monotony.  I got wild and crazy a week ago and took the train to the waterfront park in Hoboken, N.J. I ate my lunch while listening to the band that was right there in the gazebo I sit in. I took my walk, then relaxed and watched the ducks and the boats.  Those kinds of activities and having fun talks with friends help a lot.


My doctor calls them situational depression.  Sorry you are having them, but you are not alone in this, if that helps.  I think we all are having periods of depression.  It had been a tough sad year.  Glad you got to get out.


----------



## OneEyedDiva

Aneeda72 said:


> My doctor calls them situational depression.  Sorry you are having them, but you are not alone in this, of that helps.  I think we all are having periods of depression.  It had been a tough sad year.  Glad you got to get out.


Thank you Aneeda. I'm aware that I'm not alone in this.  A few of my friends on other networking sites have posted about how down and out they get sometimes.  I have to chuckle inside when I think about my mother who always seemed to be comforted in knowing she was not alone in suffering with arthritis symptoms. In a way, this is the same. We're all in the same boat together and yes....that helps.


----------



## SetWave

It's okay. I've got everything under control.


----------



## Keesha

@OneEyedDiva
Sending you caring thoughts in your sadness in hopes you feel better. This is a tough time. It’s nice that you are enjoying life’s simple pleasures.


----------



## chic

Keesha said:


> @OneEyedDiva
> Sending you caring thoughts in your sadness in hopes you feel better. This is a tough time. It’s nice that you are enjoying life’s simple pleasures.


Ditto. I'm miserable also so I totally get it.


----------



## Liberty

Hope most of us are feeling better now that lots of us have got "jabbed" and its Spring!!!


----------



## Ruthanne

Liberty said:


> Hope most of us are feeling better now that lots of us have got "jabbed" and its Spring!!!


I got jabbed once and waiting for the next one.  Happy Spring.


----------



## OneEyedDiva

Keesha said:


> @OneEyedDiva
> Sending you caring thoughts in your sadness in hopes you feel better. This is a tough time. It’s nice that you are enjoying life’s simple pleasures.


Thank you so much Keesha. I'm better now.  You are a beautiful soul !


----------



## OneEyedDiva

chic said:


> Ditto. I'm miserable also so I totally get it.


Thank you Chic. I think you were dittoing Keesha's reply to me. I hope you can conquer your misery!! Feeling like that is definitely not fun.


----------



## Keesha

OneEyedDiva said:


> Thank you so much Keesha. I'm better now.  You are a beautiful soul !


Awww shucks. You are too!
I’m so happy to read this. You deserve all of life’s simple treasures. 


OneEyedDiva said:


> I hope you can conquer your misery!! Feeling like that is definitely not fun.


Ditto. It’s not fun. It’s seriously warps our perception. I wish you happiness Chic


----------



## OneEyedDiva

Keesha said:


> Awww shucks. You are too!
> I’m so happy to read this. You deserve all of life’s simple treasures.
> 
> Ditto. It’s not fun. It’s seriously warps our perception. I wish you happiness Chic


Thank you!


----------



## Shalimar

So pleased you are feeling better. Blessings be upon you.


----------

