# Seriously considering moving into the Tiny house on Ron's property



## Ronni (Apr 22, 2020)

I mentioned this idea in another thread....that the tiny house on Ron's property might be an option for me. I'm seriously considering it now.  

I feel like I've been walking around in a daze for the last 10 days since escaping to my daughter's house, just sort of marking time, feeling flaky and purposeless.  Of course I've been doing a lot with the grands, and helping Paige out with everything, but it's not the same as being in my own home tending to my own business.  Had I been home during this quarantine, there are a thousand things I was going to do, everything from crafts to painting, from woodshed work to power washing the driveway.  

Anyway, I'm in this situation right now where the future is just a great big unknown, between the virus and my living situation.  Unless I want to expose myself to the virus, I can't go back and live in the house.  I am not willing for Sheri to be the one to be in control of my health, which is the way it will be if I move back in before the virus threat is past.  But I can't be in this limbo forever.  It's not mentally healthy for me, I'm becoming more and more depressed, and I need to make some decisions about my future.  

I have some clients asking me when I'm coming back to work, and some telling me not to come till at LEAST the end of May.  I have the Tennessee Governor not even waiting till the end of our quarantine period (April 30) to start reopening businesses again, AND in violation of the guidelines laid out by the White House (like a downward trajectory of cases for 14 days as just one of several conditions he will be violating.)  We're not downtrending yet, just barely starting to flatten, and so we sure won't have 14 days worth of case downtrend in 8 more days.  I have untrustworthy Sheri who has shown zero remorse for the havoc she caused and who continues to go out most days, supposedly to her Mom's and to the barn where her horse is.  And though I'm sure she's going there, what I don't know is where ELSE she's going while she's out.  I have my own caution and very conservative approach regarding safeguarding my health. 

I have all that, which has resulted in a future that is a complete swirling maelstrom of unknowns and threats and uncertainties.  I have to start somewhere in re-establishing some kind of foundation for my life for my own emotional well being and mental health.  I can't stay in this Zone of Unknown forever.  

The kids have moved out from the tiny house as of Monday.  It's vacant now, and available to me to take up occupancy if I want to.  It's completely separate from the main house, and once I thoroughly sanitize and then move some belongings over, I will have a place where I can be comfortable, that's rent free, (because I can't afford anything because I'm not working) that I can lock up and keep completely uninfected.  

It's still just an interim solution while I sort out all the other crap. And understand, its appeal is NOT becuase it's close to Ron or on the property.  Its appeal is that it's vacant, it's free, I'm not putting inconveniencing anyone by being there, I can move all my most needed stuff in there and live out of there for as long as needed, and its something that is entirely under my control.  If a friend, one of my family, anyone within a close distance had something like that I could take advantage of, I'd be considering that, as more desirable even than the tiny house.   But they don't.   And I can't think of any other options.


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## Becky1951 (Apr 22, 2020)

Ronni I think that's a good choice.
You will have more peace of mind. 
Your own space with your belongings around you.
The ability to keep distance from the threat of the virus. Plus free rent.


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## Em in Ohio (Apr 22, 2020)

Ronni said:


> I mentioned this idea in another thread....that the tiny house on Ron's property might be an option for me. I'm seriously considering it now.
> 
> I feel like I've been walking around in a daze for the last 10 days since escaping to my daughter's house, just sort of marking time, feeling flaky and purposeless.  Of course I've been doing a lot with the grands, and helping Paige out with everything, but it's not the same as being in my own home tending to my own business.  Had I been home during this quarantine, there are a thousand things I was going to do, everything from crafts to painting, from woodshed work to power washing the driveway.
> 
> ...


First, Happy Birthday!  Then, and it may be a stupid question, since I haven't followed your saga from the start - If Ron's daughter is still living with Ron and you still 'love' Ron, is there some reason that SHE doesn't move into the tiny house and let you and Ron live as a couple?


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## RadishRose (Apr 22, 2020)

Best of luck to you @Ronni !


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## Ronni (Apr 22, 2020)

Empty said:


> First, Happy Birthday!  Then, and it may be a stupid question, since I haven't followed your saga from the start - If Ron's daughter is still living with Ron and you still 'love' Ron, is there some reason that SHE doesn't move into the tiny house and let you and Ron live as a couple?



Yeah.  I answered that question on another thread.  Lemme see if I can find the response...... OK here it is.  

_There is no way that even the most minimal possessions of Sheri and the kids' would fit in the tiny house, (it's TINY, just a bit bigger in square feet than an average sized master bedroom if it were more rectangular, and had a loft just big enough to fit a queen sized bed with a bit of room on each side) Which means that she would continue to access the main house for other possessions, and including the use of the washer and dryer. I mean, she could be banned from that, but I just don't see it.

I don't want her traipsing through the house, even if she has to ask permission which would absolutely be a non-negotiable condition. And the kids are just too young yet to understand why the only real home they've ever known is now off limits to them. That they can't go in and out at will. They're decent kids in spite of the constant parade of men in their lives, but imposing the kinds of limits that would have to be imposed on them would be way outside their understanding, and (unintentionally) cruel to them.  _

The tiny house is barely big enough for a couple in other words.  Perfect for one person though, if you don't mind small spaces, and I don't.  Punitively, I'd much prefer she move there, as a natural consequence of how reckless she was with my and Ron's health.  But practically (and I'm nothing if not a very practical, realistic person) it makes far more sense for me to.


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## Em in Ohio (Apr 22, 2020)

Ronni said:


> Yeah.  I answered that question on another thread.  Lemme see if I can find the response...... OK here it is.
> 
> _There is no way that even the most minimal possessions of Sheri and the kids' would fit in the tiny house, (it's TINY, just a bit bigger in square feet than an average sized master bedroom if it were more rectangular, and had a loft just big enough to fit a queen sized bed with a bit of room on each side) Which means that she would continue to access the main house for other possessions, and including the use of the washer and dryer. I mean, she could be banned from that, but I just don't see it.
> 
> ...


Thanks for the re-post.  I do feel for the young children and for you.  It's good to know that you do have options - stay at your daughters or move to Ron's little house - or if that doesn't work out, go back to your daughter's.  Whatever you decide, I hope that your life becomes less stressful.  Stay well.  ~Em


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## hollydolly (Apr 22, 2020)

I think that you've already made your mind up Ronni, and only you know what will be best for you overall (I'm so saddened that Sheri has just chosen to ignore the heartache she's caused)... so do what you need to do, and I wish you everything you wish for yourself.. good luck chickadee, and may your birthday be a lovely one..


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## Lee (Apr 22, 2020)

Ronni,  I honestly wish you the best in a tough situation and am sorry that you are forced to make decisions that you should not have to make.

If I may ask, do you have a time frame in mind? By that I mean how long do you feel that you should be forced to be on the outside while Sherri is on the inside? This can't go on forever.


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## Geezerette (Apr 22, 2020)

Does the tiny house have a bathroom, can you cook and do laundry there? If so, It sounds like a good choice for the time being. But with older couples, it usually seems like if one partner has to make a choice between the wants/needs of their partner or their adult children, the children usually win out. It may be that your relationship with Ron is coming to an end, and other alternatives for your own future life may need to be seriously considered.


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## Aneeda72 (Apr 22, 2020)

Geezerette said:


> Does the tiny house have a bathroom, can you cook and do laundry there? If so, It sounds like a good choice for the time being. But with older couples, it usually seems like if one partner has to make a choice between the wants/needs of their partner or their adult children, the children usually win out. It may be that your relationship with Ron is coming to an end, and other alternatives for your own future life may need to be seriously considered.


Well, I like the ideal of the little house but I could not get up to that loft or up from that bed, lol.  I did notice there is a pull out sofa downstairs.  But Ronni you still have to wash clothes in the big house or are you using the sink in the small house?

Really nice of Ron to let you have his little house rent free.  I say that because I am confused.  I thought you guys are married, but some posts indicate you are not.  Are you married or engaged.  You don’t have to answer, just curious.


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## Ronni (Apr 22, 2020)

Lee said:


> Ronni,  I honestly wish you the best in a tough situation and am sorry that you are forced to make decisions that you should not have to make.
> 
> If I may ask, do you have a time frame in mind? By that I mean how long do you feel that you should be forced to be on the outside while Sherri is on the inside? This can't go on forever.



I don't.  There's still too much up in the air about it, and the future in general.  I haven't discussed it with Ron recently for starters...I mean it's something we talked about when I first started staying on Paige's, but his daughter and son in law were still in it then and it wasn't clear when they'd be moving out (days or a couple weeks) so it sort of went on the back burner for right then.


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## Ronni (Apr 22, 2020)

Aneeda72 said:


> Really nice of Ron to let you have his little house rent free.  I say that because I am confused.  I thought you guys are married, but some posts indicate you are not.  Are you married or engaged.  You don’t have to answer, just curious.



We're engaged and have been living together.  Wedding date is set for October of this year.  Some folks here refer to him as my husband which is where you may have gotten confused.


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## Aneeda72 (Apr 22, 2020)

Ronni said:


> We're engaged and have been living together.  Wedding date is set for October of this year.  Some folks here refer to him as my husband which is where you may have gotten confused.


Thanks, I get easily confused lol.


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## oldman (Apr 22, 2020)

Maybe what's really bothering you is "why isn't Ron standing up for me and telling his daughter that "You have 'x' amount of time to find another domicile, or I'll give you a date. Your choice." 

I was told many moons ago that when I took a wife, she always came before any other person. No child, no mother, no father, no other woman can come between us. Ron is NOT in a tough position. He knows what is right and what he must do. His failure to act has only muddied the waters for you. Does he feel more committed to his daughter than to you? I mean, what if you two were married now? Would he act the same? If the answer is Yes, then maybe you need to reconsider your position. It may be time for a discussion. 

And, I am thinking that you may have already asked this question to yourself.


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## Ronni (Apr 22, 2020)

oldman said:


> Maybe what's really bothering you is "why isn't Ron standing up for me and telling his daughter that "You have 'x' amount of time to find another domicile, or I'll give you a date. Your choice."


No, honestly, that doesn't particularly bother me right now.  It has a bit, in the past, when he's agreed that it's time to tell her she needs to find another place, and then just doesn't follow through, it bothered me then.   Right now though, with Sheri having two small children and no work because of the virus, I don't fault him for his decision.  



> I was told many moons ago that when I took a wife, she always came before any other person. No child, no mother, no father, no other woman can come between us. Ron is NOT in a tough position. He knows what is right and what he must do. His failure to act has only muddied the waters for you. Does he feel more committed to his daughter than to you? I mean, what if you two were married now? Would he act the same? If the answer is Yes, then maybe you need to reconsider your position. It may be time for a discussion.



I think that trying to blend a pre-existing family, or having two people in a relationship, each having adult children and grandchildren that they're close to, that scenario creates a very different kind of dynamic and changes the rules about who comes first, who is the priority, what's a right choice etc.  

And becuase of that, I maintain that Ron IS in a tough position.  His devotion to his family matches my own to mine, and is a commonality between us.  He wouldn't be the man I felt in love with if he wasn't that way.  

It's totally OK that you don't agree with that, don't think the way.  I don't think it's a matter of right or wrong in our individual views, it's just a matter of different priorities. I think it's a question of judgment, and of agreement.  If you and your wife agree that the priority is each other, and that works for you, then that's all that matters.


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## Sassycakes (Apr 22, 2020)

*I think moving into the small house would be a good idea. The only stipulation I would make was that Ron's daughter and grandchildren could not come into the house. With all that is going on now with the virus you must put your own safety first.*


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## RadishRose (Apr 22, 2020)

Sassycakes said:


> *I think moving into the small house would be a good idea. The only stipulation I would make was that Ron's daughter and grandchildren could not come into the house. With all that is going on now with the virus you must put your own safety first.*


But Ron can't go in either, since he may catch it from his daughter and also carry it.


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## Lee (Apr 23, 2020)

Ronni, I sincerely hope that a vaccine will be developed and very soon as seems that this is the only way this will get you back where you belong and that is by Ron's side. But it will be up to you if you can live with his daughter constantly on his other side. I wish you the best in this dilemma, your wedding date approaches fast.


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## oldman (Apr 23, 2020)

After reading the three posts after Ronni’s that was quoting mine, I am more convinced that I got this right. If two people are truly in love and have (or will) vow their love to one another, then they should be taking care of themselves. Ron wants to take care of hi family because his daughter is in a tough spot, but wants to be with Ronni and Ronni agrees that she would do the same if the roles were reversed, yet they want to be together. IMO, it sounds like Ron and Ronni want their cake and eat it too.

I don’t understand why Ron doesn’t help his daughter out financially with getting her another home. Problem solved, yes or no?  

I can only see this from my side and if I was in Ron’s position. I would tell my daughter to get another place to live and I would help her with finances. What I wouldn’t do is expect my wife-to-be to move into a 10x12 room until the virus and my daughter moves on.

So, what am I not getting here? I’m not understanding the situation clearly, maybe?


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## Knight (Apr 23, 2020)

Move the daughter into the tiny house & restrict her from entering the home occupied by Ron & Ronni.


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## RadishRose (Apr 23, 2020)

Knight said:


> Move the daughter into the tiny house & restrict her from entering the home occupied by Ron & Ronni.


Ronni has explained why that wouldn't work. Kids have too much stuff I think, and she couldn't bring herself to bar them entry to what they see as their own home to grab a toy.

Shari might be able to go to her mother. It's no longer a question of what she wants, it a question of what her father wants. She also has a sister. She won't be on the street.


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## Ronni (Apr 23, 2020)

I don’t blame Ron for not wanting to alienate his daughter, and possibly the rest of the family too, by insisting she leave now, in the middle of a Pandemic.

I’ve been in his position twice, once with
my then drug addicted son, and once with one of my other boys who just wouldn’t move out and get a job. In both cases I ultimately told them it was time for them to move out. But if either of those situations had happened in the middle of this pandemic???  Nope. No. Absolutely not.

But this is what I realized...just today. It was a light bulb moment for me.

What I would have done though, or done differently than Ron, is I wouldn’t have just shut down and run the risk of alienating my partner. I would have done everything possible to include my partner in finding a solution together, so that we were both active participants in the solution, united together in partnership to navigate this difficult situation.

In this situation with Sheri I feel that Ron is just sort of waiting for me to solve my concerns about living there and come up with a plan. I feel alone with the problem. That is what makes it particularly difficult for me. He is not an active participant in problem solving this with me, simply a passive observer.

And THAT needs to change.


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## Butterfly (Apr 23, 2020)

In my opinion, the fact that the daughter is still in the house and Ron isn't actively working with you to find a solution to get you back in his life says that he has made his decision that she is more important to him than you are.  Failure to work on a solution is, in fact, making a decision IMHO.


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## SeaBreeze (Apr 23, 2020)

I wish you the best Ronni, really so sorry you're going through this along with the upset from the coronavirus....hugs.


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## hellomimi (Apr 24, 2020)

Butterfly said:


> In my opinion, the fact that the daughter is still in the house and Ron isn't actively working with you to find a solution to get you back in his life says that he has made his decision that she is more important to him than you are.  Failure to work on a solution is, in fact, making a decision IMHO.


Sad and hard to accept but from what has been said, that's what it is. Ron may not be courageous enough to tell Ronni.


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## Ronni (Apr 24, 2020)

Thank you all for hanging with me through this.  

I had another lightbulb moment yesterday, just in terms of the virus and Sheri and our differing responses to it.  It doesn't particularly solve anything in relation to Ron, but gaining any ground whatever on any of the many moving parts to this whole mess is one step further towards clarity.  

In this current pandemic climate, one has to consider risk, and so the subject of risk assessment becomes paramount.  There is of course, known, understood, acceptable risk.  We can’t live in a bubble, so we take a known risk every time we go to the grocery store, or Sheri goes to the barn or to her Mother's, or I go to Paige's.  But that risk is known and understood and deemed to be acceptable risk and so we've all just done the best we could as a family, factoring in and compensating for those risks appropriately.

But it’s clear that Sheri's and my individual assessments of risk are different. I didn’t think they were, based on how fastidious she was being in general, but they are.  Mine’s higher, hers is lower. There is no right or wrong intended with that statement, no blame or finger pointing, just a basic statement of fact. And so every time she leaves the house and goes ANYWHERE other than her mom’s or the barn or the grocery (all the places we’ve agreed are acceptable risk destinations) she assess the risk at a point much lower than my own, and so re-sets my own personal clock on the 14 day virus incubation period and my own need to quarantine myself.  I've discussed this here before.    

So....... Either she would have to rise to my risk level or I lower to hers, that's if were were to once again live in the same house. Or she lives in her own place where she is absolutely free to chose her own level of risk and act accordingly.  However because of my fear of contracting the virus, my own personal assessment of risk, and the potential of bringing infection to my own kids and grandkids, I won’t lower to Sheri's level, which is why I left.  

She absolutely will not convince me that her risk assessment is acceptable, as she tried to do when she said she was being safe and sanitary when she visited her friends.  Understand, I believe completely that SHE was convinced she was being safe!  BUT I’ve read  countless scientific articles, been counseled and cautioned and tutored on this virus by my medically trained son, and by my friends  who are doctors or nurse practitioners, or friends who hold PhD’s and BA’s and far outreach me in their understanding of the science behind virus behavior both in general and as it relates to the intricacies of this Corona virus.  I understand Covid-19 both in the abstract, AND as it relates specifically to me as a vulnerable high risk individual simply because of my age, and ESPECIALLY as it relates to Ron, not just high risk because of age, but he’s also at the TOP END of the high risk category because of his compromised respiratory system.

I won't ignore the risks, or downplay them, or make light of them, or overlook Sheri's behavior because she was having a bad day.  

She sent me a text, explaining her behavior, in which she stated. "I needed to get away for a minute. I didn’t want the stress of everyone else’s opinions ontop of how I was already feeling."  Which in my book translates to she had zero intention of telling us where she went, exactly as I had posited. 

She then goes on to say "Did I need the time?- absolutely."  So I infer from that that if she once again "needs to get away" or "needs the time" she will once again "not want the stress of everyone else's opinions" about that.  

But ....she's sorry and she apologizes.


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## Aneeda72 (Apr 24, 2020)

Ronni have you thought that you are over reactive to your fears of the virus and Sheri is under reactive?  Is there a middle ground where you can meet?  Health care workers go home.  They wear masks, then when they get home they take off their clothes, shower, before they interact with family.

Maybe Sheri can go out as she likes as long as she wears a mask, then goes to the little house, undresses, showers, puts on clean clothes, brings the worn clothes, which she placed in a bag, and washes them right away.  Would that work?

I go out when needed.  I am extremely high risk of dying should I get the virus.  I wear a mask.  I wash my hands.  I’ve not caught it.  There must be some middle ground for you and Sheri.


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## Becky1951 (Apr 24, 2020)

Aneeda72 said:


> Ronni have you thought that you are over reactive to your fears of the virus and Sheri is under reactive?  Is there a middle ground where you can meet?  Health care workers go home.  They wear masks, then when they get home they take off their clothes, shower, before they interact with family.
> 
> Maybe Sheri can go out as she likes as long as she wears a mask, then goes to the little house, undresses, showers, puts on clean clothes, brings the worn clothes, which she placed in a bag, and washes them right away.  Would that work?
> 
> I go out when needed.  I am extremely high risk of dying should I get the virus.  I wear a mask.  I wash my hands.  I’ve not caught it.  There must be some middle ground for you and Sheri.


I think one of Ronni's problem with Sheri is that Shari can not be trusted. She may tell Ronni she wore a mask or that she was somewhere but really was visiting somewhere or someone else. Possibly people who are not safely following guidelines. Just from what Ronni has said about Sheri's behavior I wouldn't trust her myself.


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## hellomimi (Apr 24, 2020)

From Sheris past activities,  I don't think she's taking COVID-19 seriously and that's up to her....IF...she was on her own. Since she's living with her dad, it's his house, his rules should prevail. Period. 

Ronni,  can you think of anything that can possibly make Ron enforce his rules to ensure HIS safety since Sheri cannot be expected to cooperate?


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## Butterfly (Apr 24, 2020)

Ronni, you absolutely have as much right to your level of acceptable risk as the daughter has to hers.  BUT, if you are to marry Ron, you have a right to expect that Ron will accept and honor your feelings about this.   As my dad always said, "If you are under my roof you will abide by my rules; if you can't do that, go elsewhere."   Ron has to decide who will be the mistress of the house, you or the daughter.


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## oldman (Apr 24, 2020)

Ronni must have a lot of questions, what ifs and maybe even doubts going through her head. It may not be just this situation that concerns her, but the “what if’s.” Doubts in a relationship can be very worrisome, even to the point where counseling is considered. After all, if you are going to commit to a relationship, wouldn’t you want to be 100% certain that your partner respects you enough to support your feelings and emotions? I would. If I ever felt that my wife would waiver on her commitment to me, I would have to consider my options.

There are and will be times when one partner has to be empathetic with their partner’s feelings.


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## Aneeda72 (May 3, 2020)

Have you moved yet?


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## Linda (May 14, 2020)

How is it going Ronni?


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## Ronni (May 14, 2020)

Thanks for asking guys.   

No, I haven't moved into the tiny house.  It's still an option but it's unlikely that I will at this point.

Things came to a head when I absolutely lost my cool and just laid into Ron. I was SO angry!  Very uncharacteristic for me, because I know the signs and when I feel myself getting to that point I'll usually just back off, take some time, take a walk, and put some space between me and the person I'm talking to, till I can calm down.  That didn't happen.  It was not my best or proudest moment    I basically just told him that this situation was FAR BEYOND just what was happening between Sheri/me/the virus, that it had EVERYTHING to do with his broken, dysfunctional relationship with his daughter, and that that's at the crux of this entire situation.

He said he didn't want to be an a$%^& to Sheri and kick her out. That it was cruel.  I told him he wasn't being an ass to want to have his own life, with his wife, in his own home, without kids and grandkids around, FORGET the damn virus. Take that completely out of the equation.  I told him 98% of older folks have a life that doesn't include kids and grandkids living with them, and it's THEIR NORMAL, not something that's a treat or an extra or a special circumstance, the way he's looking at it.

I told him that I have no clue what's broken in him that he continually puts himself last, continues to be selfless, continues to WAIT to have the life he wants till Sheri decides that he can have that.  That an A#$%&  wouldn't have provided for Sheri the way he has, given her a home rent free, given her a job, the income of which should couldn't possibly realize with any other employer, given her the freedom to come and go as she wants etc.  I just kept on and with all the benefits she derives from living with him.

I told him that NONE of that makes him an A@#$%, that it gives Sheri the kind of life of privilege that most people would kill to have but few realize.  That he's done more for her than the vast majority of parents would, and that if SHE considers he's an A#$%^&  then that's on HER and not him.  I told him I had no idea what it was going to take for him to VALUE HIMSELF enough to not have to consider it some kind of SPECIAL GIFT that his daughter might want to ALLOW him to have a typical senior life.

I said that HE needs to take control of his life, and not just keep on hoping that one day he might have the kind of life he wants if Sheri will let him. Otherwise he'll die continuing to HOPE that that might happen.  It won't, unless he MAKES it happen.  And that this wasn’t even about US any more either...it was about what HE wanted for HIS life, no matter what happened between us. That this was something he needed to deal with for HIMSELF, whether it was beneficial to us or not. 

Like I said....not my proudest moment.    But.........it shook something loose in him.  I don't know if he just needed some very forceful validation that he was a good Dad or what, but it fundamentally changed something for him. He was quiet for a long time.   Then he told me I was right, all of it, everything, and that he was going to tell her she had three months to move, giving her time to get the kids back in daycare when it was a bit safer to do so, get back to work, start earning again, find a house to buy, the closing, any renovations, and then move.  That he was done.  This was it.  No matter what, she was moving out in three months, whether she found a house to buy or had to rent one.

I held my breath all the next day, waiting to see if he actually WOULD have that conversation with her after work, like he said.  Lo and behold he did.  I was shocked.  She didn't take it very well apparently, but he held his ground.  Just said it was time.  She blamed me, (of course) and he told her it had nothing to do with me, he'd just finally realized that he wasn't doing either of them any favors by letting this situation continue.

Three days later she found a house.  That was last week.  She's supposed to close mid June.  She's already given plans to Ron's shop guy for a redesign of some of the kitchen cabinets, and asked her Mom if she can use some of the furniture that her Mom has in storage.

So....we'll see.  Anything could happen between now and then, the sale could fall through, anything.  But damn, Ron stood his ground with Sheri, and that's huge!


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## StarSong (May 14, 2020)

@Ronni, thank you for the update.  Congratulations to Ron for finding his way, and kudos to you for shining a flashlight on the path.


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## Ronni (May 14, 2020)

StarSong said:


> @Ronni, thank you for the update.  Congratulations to Ron for finding his way, and kudos to you for shining a flashlight on the path.


Thanks honey. We had a “date night” on Monday. A socially distanced one, but still.  Found out Sheri was gonna spend the night at her sister’s, so I went over while Ron was at work and cooked him his favorite dinner to come home to. He was smiling so big I thought his face was gonna crack!!  It was so sweet. 

I miss him so much!


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## RadishRose (May 14, 2020)

@Ronni, I so hope thing work out for you both!


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## peppermint (May 14, 2020)

So people....We have been in our cottage since December....So, we are going home after May 31...
So we will be going into our home in another State...No one was in the house except my son when
he makes sure everything is OK....My son does not have the virus and his family don't have the virus.
and me and hubby don't have the virus....Maybe I'm stupid but I don't know what Ronni is talking about....


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## hollydolly (May 14, 2020)

peppermint said:


> So people....We have been in our cottage since December....So, we are going home after May 31...
> So we will be going into our home in another State...No one was in the house except my son when
> he makes sure everything is OK....My son does not have the virus and his family don't have the virus.
> and me and hubby don't have the virus....Maybe I'm stupid but I don't know what Ronni is talking about....


Ronni has had to have a socially distanced 'date' with her man, because he's been living with his daughter who no-one can  be sure isn't carrying the virus,  because she's not socially distancing herself from her friends... therefore it's possible she could be passing it on to her dad and family.. and ultimately Ronni who is living with her own daughter's family  currently, and whom she doesn't want to potentially infect either ..


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## Lee (May 15, 2020)

Ronni said:


> Found out Sheri was gonna spend the night at her sister’s, so I went over while Ron was at work and cooked him his favorite dinner to come home to.



Ronni, something I do not understand. Why would you even go over to the house that Sheri is still living in, She may have been gone for the night but still she has certainly touched most every surface in the kitchen. Since the idea was to have her move out so you could move back in why not have waited till she was truly gone then you could disinfect everything and feel safe.

Also, will she be permitted to visit after you do move back in?


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## Aneeda72 (May 15, 2020)

I must admit I’ve been a little confused on some of the issues in this post, but, lol, that is usual for me.  I didn’t understand at the beginning if you, Ronni, thought you had been exposed why you went to family to possibly expose them.

Then, as Lee, mentioned why you risked exposure, for the reasons she mentioned, and returned back to your family.  Also why is the tiny house not an option?

But then I’m thinking you’ve been extremely careful about what you’ve touched, washed up well, and are planning to move into the big house when she is gone, so no need to move into the smaller house.  What company do you hire to clean/sanitize Rons’ house?

How did Sheri, who is not working, afford to buy a house?  Has she gone back to her husband?  Seems like things will work out for you guys.


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## Ronni (May 15, 2020)

Lee said:


> Ronni, something I do not understand. Why would you even go over to the house that Sheri is still living in, She may have been gone for the night but still she has certainly touched most every surface in the kitchen. Since the idea was to have her move out so you could move back in why not have waited till she was truly gone then you could disinfect everything and feel safe.
> 
> Also, will she be permitted to visit after you do move back in?



If I hadn't felt that I could be safe, I wouldn't have gone.  

The virus particles don't remain suspended in the air, so I was in no danger from inhaling anything. I wore gloves and a mask to prepare dinner. Even so, I disinfected everything before I touched it.  We ate outside.  There was minimal risk as long as her and the kids weren't there. 

Once I move back in, Ron and I will evolve a protocol for family visits. We've already talked about the need to do that, though haven't discussed the details of how.  The economy is opening up, and both sets of kids and families will be getting out and about more and more as it does, so he and I need to figure out what we're comfortable with.


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## hollydolly (May 15, 2020)

Ronni, just in case you're not aware and I'm sure you are after all your research... but the particles DO hang in* Still Air*..for up to 3 hours...this has been proven, which is why they are encouraging everyone to have windows open as much as possible to move air around... ...and once you move back in, then Madam will have to visit from the end of the garden... to heck with her coming into the house..


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## Ronni (May 15, 2020)

Aneeda72 said:


> I must admit I’ve been a little confused on some of the issues in this post, but, lol, that is usual for me.  I didn’t understand at the beginning if you, Ronni, thought you had been exposed why you went to family to possibly expose them.



When Sheri came back after visiting her various friends, Ron wouldn't let her into the house or anywhere near either of us until I left, so I wasn't exposed to anything.  



Aneeda72 said:


> Then, as Lee, mentioned why you risked exposure, for the reasons she mentioned, and returned back to your family.  Also why is the tiny house not an option?
> 
> But then I’m thinking you’ve been extremely careful about what you’ve touched, washed up well, and are planning to move into the big house when she is gone, so no need to move into the smaller house.  What company do you hire to clean/sanitize Rons’ house?
> 
> How did Sheri, who is not working, afford to buy a house?  Has she gone back to her husband?  Seems like things will work out for you guys.



I've been very careful.  I've also done an enormous amount of research concerning this virus, and viruses in general, so rather than just following general recommendations and guidelines, I feel confident in my judgement and ability to make informed and appropriately safe decisions.

A lot of thought went into my decision to not move into the tiny house at this time, taking into account all the current information. 

Because Sheri's been living rent free for so long, she has considerable money saved.  She qualifies for a modest mortgage, and has been able to find something within her financial parameters.  She can make several house payments from her savings if need be if she's not back at work by the time they're due.  That's all according to Ron, becuase she's not talking to me.  No, she hasn't gone back to her husband.  The divorce papers have been filed.


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## Ronni (May 15, 2020)

hollydolly said:


> Ronni, just in case you're not aware and I'm sure you are after all your research... but the particles DO hang in* Still Air*..for up to 3 hours...this has been proven, which is why they are encouraging everyone to have windows open as much as possible to move air around... ...and once you move back in, then Madam will have to visit from the end of the garden... to heck with her coming into the house..



Yes!  Yeah I'm aware...thanks for having my back though @hollydolly.  They don't hang in the air _for long_ is what I should have said.  Sheri left the night before, and I didn't get there till the afternoon of the next day, so I wasn't terribly concerned about contaminated air.  

I also flung open all the windows to allow lots of airflow while I was working in the kitchen.


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## Lee (May 15, 2020)

Ronni, May to be 100 percent safe and avoid all the extra cleaning you could make dinner at your place to bring over and eat outside.


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