# In-laws......



## jujube (Apr 12, 2021)

Nostalgia time.  Look back at the early days of your marriage.

Did/does your Mother-in-Law/Father-in-Law like you? How was your relationship with them?

My first fiancé's mother did not like me, but she was semi-civil to me (barely), probably in the hopes that I'd go away before the wedding.  I didn't look forward to being her daughter-in-law and thankfully, the relationship came to a crashing halt when her perfect and beloved only son got another girl pregnant.  Bullet dodged for me.

My eventual Mother-in-Law REALLY didn't like me.  For a few years, she always referred to be as The Wh0re of Babylon.  She didn't "recognize" the marriage and I didn't actually meet her until we had been married for five years.  We finally ended up being civil and I don't think she called for an exorcism after I left her house. 

Really.....I was a nice person and would have made a good daughter-in-law.  

Thankfully, the Spousal Equivalent's mother loved me dearly and I loved her back.   That was refreshing.

Anybody have any really good (or bad) Mother-in-Law stories?


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## Gary O' (Apr 12, 2021)

jujube said:


> Anybody have any really good (or bad) Mother-in-Law stories?


It may be that my mother-in-law liked me

....a little too much


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## Jeweltea (Apr 12, 2021)

My father-in-law never approved of my husband and me getting married because we only knew each other 6 months when we got engaged.  Because he wouldn't approve of our engagement, my husband didn't tell him we got married until afterwards. That didn't help matters. My FIL wrote a really nasty letter to my husband about this, telling him our marriage wouldn't last, etc. Eventually we were all civil to each other. By the way, he also hated the wife of my husband's brother and his grand daughter's husband.

We have been married 45 years and my husband's brother has been married 43 years so my FIL didn't know what he was talking about.


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## jujube (Apr 12, 2021)

What made me think of this subject was that I was frying up some tortillas on the griddle tonight and the package said that there was an old Mexican legend that if your tortillas puffed up, your Mother-in-Law loves you.  

Mine puffed up tonight.....so much for old Mexican legends.....ay carumba!


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## Capt Lightning (Apr 13, 2021)

We were very different and I think it took a long time, but over the years we grew closer. My parents were my parents, but I loved my in-laws as people.   Father-in-law was a great character.  He sailed on the Atlantic convoys during WW2, was on a supply ship at D-day and later in Italy.   Mother in law was a weaver and the noise of the looms made her a bit deaf.
I've been married for 47 years, so I got something right.   I hope they were happy with me.


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## hollydolly (Apr 13, 2021)

jujube said:


> Nostalgia time.  Look back at the early days of your marriage.
> 
> Did/does your Mother-in-Law/Father-in-Law like you? How was your relationship with them?
> 
> ...


the whore of Babylon........that made me LOL>..


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## hollydolly (Apr 13, 2021)

Gary O' said:


> It may be that my mother-in-law liked me
> 
> ....a little too much


the question is did you like her back ?


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## hollydolly (Apr 13, 2021)

If I'd stayed married to my first husband we'd have been married 45 years now... he was an only son, and the Sun shone out of every orifice as far as his mother was concerned...she really disliked me for taking her precious boy from her, and on the odd  occasions we went to stay at her house she made us sleep in separate rooms.. ..I can laugh about it now...

At Christmas( bearing in mind I was in my very early 20's, this in the 70's..)  she would buy me the ugliest nightie she could find.

Grey ,up to the neck,long sleeve to the wrist and all the way down to the ankles..like some prison garb...real passion killer.,hoping it would be a turn off for her son......or she'd buy a  horrible melamine place setting...for one person ..

She was always civil through gritted teeth... but I knew she couldn't stand me. On our annual visit, she'd always talk loudly to my husband about his previous girlfriend ( who apparently  she liked)..


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## Aunt Marg (Apr 13, 2021)

Nothing really bad, but nothing really good either.

My MIL was swell, she was always there for us, she liked me and I liked her, but I always felt as though nothing and no one was quite good enough for her baby.

In-laws, or as my husband refers to them as... "_outlaws_", are never an easy thing IMO.

In summing up, I count my blessings that we got along.


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## Keesha (Apr 13, 2021)

How is the relationship with my mother in law. 
Fantastic! Wonderful! Amazing!


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## Jules (Apr 13, 2021)

Keesha said:


> How is the relationship with my mother in law.
> Fantastic! Wonderful! Amazing!


Seeing the Pinocchio nose, I gather you’re pulling our legs.  

I never could figure how my first MIL felt.  We were still friendly after the divorce.  The kids went there for vacations.  She loved to tell stories about her precious son when my present husband was around.  She’s lucky I didn’t tell her the truth about him.


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## Keesha (Apr 13, 2021)

Jules said:


> Seeing the Pinocchio nose, I gather you’re pulling our legs.


Noooooo!!!!


Jules said:


> I never could figure how my first MIL felt.  We were still friendly after the divorce.  The kids went there for vacations.  She loved to tell stories about her precious son when my present husband was around.  She’s lucky I didn’t tell her the truth about him.


Yeahhhh. They’re adorable are they? Lol


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## SetWave (Apr 13, 2021)

At my wife's mother's funeral many years ago one of her sisters told me how much their mom loved me. That was wonderful.


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## MarciKS (Apr 13, 2021)

Father in law once referred to me as being the equivalent of his son bringing a stray animal home for a pet and them having to accept it. LOL! That ended up being the last damn time I ever went to dinner there. FIL didn't like that. Said something to me about it and I told him it was too damned bad. Marriage didn't last so no biggie. Also another reason why I'm not interested in another relationship.


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## Gary O' (Apr 13, 2021)

hollydolly said:


> the question is did you like her back ?


Nada

Things were sticky enough


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## Pinky (Apr 13, 2021)

My in-laws were very accepting of me, from the start of our relationship way back in '72. When I had a falling out with my father, FIL said "I'll be your father". It was very easy for me to confide in them. When our daughter came along, they were over the moon.

My previous boyfriend's parents were also very accepting, though more the father than the mother, at first. I have been fortunate, I guess.


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## Keesha (Apr 13, 2021)

My father in law is a great man. He’s a wonderful father to his children, he’s a great provider for his family and is smart. He was a school principal.

I get along great with my sister in law and her family. Actually I get along well with all of them. There’s no friction there. Touch wood.


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## Glowworm (Apr 14, 2021)

Then: three husbands, three disastrous marriages and three sets of equally disastrous in-laws.

Now: one girlfriend and one set of lovely in-laws


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## Sassycakes (Apr 14, 2021)

*Both my mother-in-law and Father-in-law were wonderful people. I was truly blessed to have them in my life. I started dating my husband when I was 15yrs old. They were sweet to me from the first day I met them. My mother-in-law told her other children that I was a better daughter to her than they were. It was funny because I was Italian and they were Irish and she didn't like Italian people. She told me I brought love into the family. All my husband's nieces and nephews keep in touch with us all the time. We are the go-to family to them.*


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## fuzzybuddy (Apr 18, 2021)

In-laws should be out lawed. PERIOD.


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## OneHalf (Apr 21, 2021)

My husband's parents were divorced and both remarried while he was young. You would think with 4 "in laws" I might find one that would like me? His father was obnoxious about his disapproval before he ever met me and more condescending even after. He didn't even know me! His step mom - well, she was a piece of work. His dad died a number of years ago and we hadn't had a relationship with that "half" for over a year before his death. So no more contact with the step mom. 

Then his mom and step dad. Step dad HATED me because I spoke my mind, respectfully. He was so intent on his own level of "intelligence" but he couldn't stand up to a reasonable discussion that challenged anything he said. My MIL (and husband) are both very easy going and never disagreed with him. As for my mother in law, well, I tried. But she has these passive aggressive ways that finally after 20 years I said "enough" and swore I would never be in the same room/building with her again. I promised I would never keep my husband or our son from seeing her and I have gone even further by suggesting she "come visit" when I have a trip away or suggesting my husband go visit her. We have always lived at least 4 hours apart. I even tried to explain to his mom several times but she is such an.... "absent minded?"... person that her behaviour returns and I am the one who feels like crap. I no longer try to explain. I just keep my distance.


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## Jules (Apr 21, 2021)

OneHalf said:


> I just keep my distance.


Sometimes that’s the easiest and most logic choice.


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## Ruth n Jersey (Apr 21, 2021)

I liked my in laws and I'm sure they both like me.  They were a bit different than my mom and dad but all in all they were fine. They both died about  3 years after we were married but I think I would have had a good long term relationship with them had they lived.


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## Lethe200 (Apr 22, 2021)

My in-laws tolerated me, and I felt the same way towards them. They had really interesting life histories, however, and I regret especially that I didn't get more details from my FIL to pass on.

As Spouse's parents were divorced and both remarried, I had two sets of in-laws. I was always appreciative that they were Chinese and nonetheless were both polite and gracious to me, a Japanese-American. 

They had absolutely, positively, EXTREMELY GOOD reasons for despising the Japanese, having gone through the Japanese occupation of China and the Philippines during WWII.


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## OneEyedDiva (Apr 22, 2021)

My first marriage, didn't see much of my in laws and that marriage didn't last that long. But our interactions were civil. My second husband's parents both died before we got married.


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## Lewkat (Apr 22, 2021)

Got along fine with my in-laws.  Also grandmom in-law..


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## Dana (Apr 22, 2021)

I've gone past this thread for a while now, but I do have to say this:  I have the most wonderful in laws. I adore my MIL and loved my FIL (deceased), he could do no wrong in my eyes. My husband's family are from Virginia and my MIL is old school...beautiful in every way. Can't wait to visit again! Although I understand the need for our closed international borders...I am getting a bit impatient.


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