# Senior Living Anyone?



## cmcdonagh (May 25, 2016)

Hi All - doing research on Senior Living (for you or a parent). 

Looking for any insights, thoughts, ideas, etc...

Let me know if you would like to chat more or just type away! New to this forum thing, so excuse this post if it is wonky!


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## Robusta (May 25, 2016)

Yes post is kind of wonky. Please come right out and ask what you want,or throw out a comment. Don't mince words, this is a free forum and there is no character limit.
for my part, I am a Senior and I enjoy living. I intend to keep on doing so as long as possible!


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## cmcdonagh (May 25, 2016)

Sorry! I meant assisted living, like a senior community! I want feedback on what everyone's thoughts are on it. 

Would you consider it? If yes, what are the main reasons. If no, why not? Do you think there is a negative stigma with assisted living communities?


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## Robusta (May 25, 2016)

All depends on the community. Some are wonderful places some are hellholes..My choice is to live at home for as long as possible.Any community or home comes with a loss of independence and some level of restrictions on personal freedoms,something I hope not to have to tolerate. My father is 87,in great health and lives basically on his own.  He does have daily support as three other family members have homes on the same property. I treat my children well!!!
Sorry that I am not real helpful.


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## cmcdonagh (May 25, 2016)

all insights are helpful! Thank you!


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## Lon (May 25, 2016)

I live in a Senior (55 +) Apartment Community. It is not Assisted Living. Some are single and some are married living together. Some that need assistance have care givers come to their apartment to provide various assistance as needed. Some have canes, some have walkers. One and two bedroom apartments are available, as  are parking stalls for those with cars. The residents are financially comfortable.


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## Myquest55 (May 25, 2016)

My parents moved into a an Erickson Retirement Community (Maris Grove - Glen Mills, PA) in 2007.  They were in their early 80s but still on their feet and doing well.  They were done with home maintenance and a lot of their friends moved in there too.  I love to visit there!  It is like living on a cruise ship!!  They have a beautiful campus, 3 and 4 story building connected with glass walled bridges.  Two large dining rooms with different menus so you have a choice.  Each unit has a kitchen but they get one meal a day included.  Cleaning service and home health service is available.  Some people live there and still work but most are retired.  There is continuing care, assisted living and nursing/hospice care, should they need it.  The people all look happy and there is so much to do.  A large shopping center is nearby - within walking distance.  There is a pool, theater, meeting rooms, medical on site - I could go on.  

My mother-in-law moved herself into the National Lutheran Home, Rockville, MD and since neither of her sons lived nearby we felt she was safer there than in a big house alone.  A lot of her friends were also there so she enjoyed the community.  She eventually moved into the Assisted living section, then ultimately the nursing section.  She had very good care and because she had lived there for a number of years, it was all familiar to her.  

Both communities were buy-ins and Maris Grove gives you the money back when it re-sells.  We are looking to retire in about 2-3 years.  We don't need all those services and conveniences just yet but it is our plan to ultimately end up in a place like that.  Our sons will, most likely, not live nearby so we feel this will give us all peace of mind.  Portland Maine has several such communities so we won't have to go far nor give up our Drs. That is the hardest part of moving around!


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## Manatee (May 25, 2016)

Question # 1, is it affordable?  If it isn't, then all other considerations are moot.

We live in a 55+ condo apartment.  It works for us at ages 82 & 81.


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## Guitarist (May 25, 2016)

cmcdonagh said:


> Sorry! I meant assisted living, like a senior community! I want feedback on what everyone's thoughts are on it.
> 
> Would you consider it? If yes, what are the main reasons. If no, why not? Do you think there is a negative stigma with assisted living communities?



Why do you want to know? Are you a senior looking at moving into assisted living?  Looking for a parent?  Your post still seems wonky to me.  Right now you seem more like someone doing research than someone wanting to join an online group.  If I'm wrong, forgive me and welcome to the group!


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## Lethe200 (May 26, 2016)

My MIL had the usual negative impression of "nursing homes"; e.g., 'where old people go to die!' attitude.

She lived with us for seven years after selling her home but after a while it was clear the lack of socializing was negatively impacting her mild dementia. Friends had died off or moved away; she had no family living nearby except DH and me.

We researched nine facilities (eight by DH and me, one by myself). Had to be a full service senior facility: independent + Asst Lvg + skilled care (nursing) + Memory Care. Had to be within 15 min drive of our home. 

Four facilities made the first cut; two profit, two non-profit. Return visits narrowed that down to the two non-profits. Both were good facilities; I let DH decide which one had the right "atmosphere" for his mom. 

He picked one and then, ONLY THEN, did we take MIL for a visit. Had lunch, did a quick tour. A month later went back for a dinner, toured some empty units. She wanted a hillside view instead of a bay view, but wanted to be a little higher up above the trees. We told mgmt to let us know when a unit became available that met her request.

Two months later a unit became available and the three of us toured it. She liked it very much and altho still a little dubious, we moved her there the next month. 

Within a few weeks she was telling all her family and friends by phone she loved living there! Great staff, excellent food, full services including 'field trips' twice a week. It has its own senior center on-site with daily classes for all kinds of activities. A hairdresser eliminated the need to go out for an appt. We saw her regularly to take her out for Asian food (she missed it) and to doctor and dentist appts.

Her spirits lifted and she made many friends there, both residents and staff. The routine made her comfortable - dementia increases anxiety - and the secured facility/grounds made her feel safe. She became a bocce ball whiz and learned to love bingo. She had felt "old" at 84, only to discover that at her assigned dining table, her companions told her she was the "young" one because they were in the late 80's and one woman was 100!

Every community has its own culture and social atmosphere. It's important to find the one right for you. Then it's a question of whether you can afford it. The best ones are not cheap.

Most people overlook the socialization issue. Why would I want to stay in my home forever, when it can't be modified for universal access, and especially if I can't drive any longer? Where we live one car is a necessity and two make your life go more smoothly, as a couple. Our friends are mostly younger and the majority are still working. 

We're happy in our SFH. We've put a lot of money into making it the way we like. But it takes a lot of work and $$$ to maintain the property. When we travel there is the security issue, even with an alarm company and good neighbors next door. 

I enjoy gardening, but this is a big urban lot on a hillside, and it takes regular work every week to maintain. Within 3-5 yrs it's going to be too much for us, and we'll sell. At that point, we have two nearby CCRCs and any number of distant CCRCs to investigate for move-in. We've planned our finances so we should have enough funds to move anywhere we want. 

We may stay in CA, or we may move to OR. One of our plans is to go up to OR again and start looking more seriously at the various CCRCs there.


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## Ray (May 27, 2016)

_My MIL had the usual negative impression of "nursing homes"; e.g., 'where old people go to die!' attitude.

_That is a fairly common sentiment. But, when you think about it, Earth is where we "go to die" and it is inevitable. 

A far better approach is to seek a place where we can enjoy the time left. Senior living facilities are designed to maximize the quality of life today and provide additional services as the need arrives.


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