# Grandparents visiting rights?



## phughes (Mar 27, 2012)

Has anyone heard of grandparents petitioning for visitation? I have a friend who is having a hard time seeing his grandkids after the death of his son. Does he have any recourse? His wife, the grandma, is also not able to see the kids. Apparently the daughter-in-law finds it too painful to see them. They are afraid she is going to move far away; however, right now it sounds as if she's a million miles away. They are barely in contact and they do not want to secretly meet with the kids. Any advice?


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## SeaBreeze (Mar 27, 2012)

I don't know anything about the laws, but I imagine they vary state by state.  They could go through the courts for visitation, and I would assume that the fact that his son is deceased would only help them gain their rights to visitation.  It's extremely sad that the daughter in law is denying them the pleasure of seeing their grandkids.   It's hard to judge, bit I think if it were me, I'd want the connection and support of my deceased husband's parents.  I'd want my kids to keep a close bond with their blood grandparents.  I'm suspicious, is it too painful for her, or is she more concerned with interference, in the case where she may want to embrace another relationship?


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## phughes (Mar 28, 2012)

Perhaps. I could see how that could be, in the future, an issue. I think my friend is going to suggest going out to dinner with the kids and include her on a semi-regular basis. That way she can be a part of it if she'd like. And, being in a public place may lessen the chance of petty outbursts. Maybe they need to let her know that at some point she'll probably remarry, and they understand that. I'd be concerned though about timing with that. It might just need to evolve out of the relationship.


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## SeaBreeze (Mar 28, 2012)

Yes, it should definitely be handled in a sensitive way.  The daughter in law should have a positive feeling when they're around.  Going out to dinner with them all is an excellent idea.


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## Bill.K (Mar 28, 2012)

I'm not sure as to what legal rights we have as grandparents. As bad as it sounds, I don't think I do, I have no legal right over my kids as soon as they are 18, and their children are legally the responsibility of the parents. So If seems to me that we don't have any rights


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## AlbertC (Mar 30, 2012)

Even if you are able to demonstrate that there is a legal precident for you having the rights to see your grandkids, this isn't the sort of thing that family court likes to see in court these days. The focus is really on getting the parties to sit down and work it out. It's called "Collaborative Family Law" and the idea is that each          side hires a lawyer on the understanding that the goal is to work out          a solution that everyone can live with without involving the courts.

So, better to just avoid the lawyers, if you ask me. You don't want a court order, you want to see your grandkids. Got to start a dialog with your daughter in law, no matter what it takes.


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## TxTwisterGl (Apr 6, 2012)

Our state has grandparents rights and from what I understand most states do have them. Sometimes just the threat of going to court would be enough to make the person allow visitation, especially if there is no money for an attorney or they dont want to go thru with the court stuff. The thing is to be able to have grandparents rights you have to establish that you have had a significant relationship with the child/children - meaning you have seen the kids enough for them to be affected if they cant continue to see you. Those poor kids need all their family right now, especially the grandparents of their father that passed away. Hearing about him thru them will help them to grieve and recover as much as they can and by the mother avoiding them she is hurting them, not helping.


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## Bill.K (Apr 6, 2012)

It seems to me like apparently we do have rights to see our grand kids, I honestly would have never thought so, it just seems so strange in a legal sense. I can understand it from a personal stance, but, I don't understand how they justify it legally, but I'll leave it up to you guys


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## hh132648 (Jun 21, 2012)

I have heard about something similar.  I am not sure of their rights, but would recommend they speak to a lawyer.  I'm sure if thy explained the situation in a court of law, a judge would show some sympathy.  It is selfish of the mother to want to deny her children the right to know their father's parents.  I hope everything works out for the best.


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