# Instructions That Come With Appliances and Other Things



## SeaBreeze (Nov 9, 2014)

My toaster has been acting up for awhile, and I went to Bed, Bath and Beyond today with my coupon, and bought a new one.  I was browsing through the booklet looking at the instructions, and of course it mentioned using it to burn off any manufacture residue before putting bread in it.  This is how #7, the last step of the first time use instructions was worded.

7.  "Lower both of the toasting levers until they lock in place.  Operate without bread once or twice to burn off any manufacturing residue.  You may notice a light amount of smoke; this is normal and will stop as the heating elements continue to heat.  bowl first.  Start with the lowest setting and gradually increase as the cream begins to thicken."

I was laughing with my husband, and saying it's no wonder I can't follow any instructions anymore, they are senseless.  This isn't the first time some bogus wording was in user booklets.

Have you ever bought something and the instructions didn't even seem to belong to that unit?  Or just had crazy wording that left you scratching your head?  :saywhat:


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## SifuPhil (Nov 9, 2014)

LOL!

Most of the stuff manufactured in the Orient (do they still use that term?) seems to have at least one boner translation.

I had the need one day a few months ago for a new toilet brush. Nothing fancy, just something to get the gritty job done. I went to the Family Dollar store, grabbed one and brought it home.

It was only then that I noticed the stick-on label that adorned the handle -

"Do not use orally"

Okay ... I've done some strange things in my life, but ...


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## SeaBreeze (Nov 9, 2014)

Maybe the facial recognition spy cameras they're using nowadays picked up on something...and they had to label accordingly to cover their butts. layful:


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## SeaBreeze (Nov 9, 2014)

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed by stupidity, here are some actual label instructions found on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner!  No purchase necessary.  Details inside. (The shoplifter special.)

On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap.

On a Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's just a suggestion.)

On Tesco's tirimasu dessert (printed on the bottom of box): Do not turn upside-down.

On Marks & Spencer bread pudding: Product will be hot after heating.

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body.

On Boot's children's cough medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."

On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: May cause drowsiness.

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?)

On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (I gotta admit, I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."

On an American Airlines packet of peanuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."

On a child's Superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company, I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chain saw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."


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## SifuPhil (Nov 9, 2014)

SeaBreeze said:


> Maybe the facial recognition spy cameras they're using nowadays picked up on something...and they had to label accordingly to cover their butts. layful:



I can understand how, seeing my face on their monitors, they would put _that_ particular warning on the brush.  

"Oh, yeah ... hey, Sarge, look at THIS one ... whaddya' think? Oral fixation?"

"Yeah - put the DNUO-246-T label on that brush!" nthego:


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## SifuPhil (Nov 9, 2014)

Your list reminds me of the "possible side-effects" warnings on all those drug commercials - the anti-depressants may cause depression and suicide, the diabetes drugs may cause diabetic coma, and the weight-loss pills might cause loss of weight.


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## Oceana (Nov 10, 2014)

My new Kenmore sewing machine came with instructions not to use underwater. Darned - I did so enjoy that submerged dressmaking too!


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