# Do you ever think you wasted time being unhappy?



## hypochondriac (Aug 21, 2019)

Like recovering from a boyfriend/girlfriend break-up when you were young?
Being annoyed/angry with a boss or work colleague. And letting it bother you after work?
Just being too pre-occupied with a problem.

By the way, Im not for a minute suggesting that any serious trauma wasn't a valid cause of your unhappiness. Of course it is valid. My focus here is smaller issues that drew you into rumination and regret.


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## Sassycakes (Aug 21, 2019)

Quit a few times I have wasted time being unhappy for reasons I should have just accepted and moved on. Thankfully I'm not that way anymore.


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## hypochondriac (Aug 21, 2019)

Sassycakes said:


> Thankfully I'm not that way anymore.


I only have half wisdom. I still get sucked into the vortex.


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## fmdog44 (Aug 21, 2019)

No. Final answer.


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## Pecos (Aug 21, 2019)

Oh yeah, been there many times. Sometimes it takes me some time to digest things.


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## Keesha (Aug 21, 2019)

Not really. I think all experiences are opportunities to learn and grow. Time grieving or feeling sorry for ourselves is something to learn from. We arent perfect nor are meant to be. 

Part of the beauty of being human is the ability to feel and fully experience emotions. We communicate fully, openly and honestly using a full range of emotion including sadness and anger. 

We are the ones who judge our experiences as either positive or negative but we learn from them all either way. Our experiences are what create our personalities and denying any experience is like denying a part of ourself so no I don’t view it as a waste of time.

 No learning experience is ever a waste of time.


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## hypochondriac (Aug 21, 2019)

an example...I wasted my time over infatuation....at college there was this girl that came from high society. she wore cool clothes and kinda cute. I felt so inadequate I didn't even pursue her. Now I can laugh at the sleepless nights and feelings of inferiority. Man, Hypo! What are you talkin about? I was too good for her!


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## Keesha (Aug 21, 2019)

Isn’t that a matter of hindsight is always 20/20


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## hypochondriac (Aug 21, 2019)

Keesha said:


> No learning experience is ever a waste of time.


Some of us are slow learners.  
I tend to repeat the same mistake. But I have improved.


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## Keesha (Aug 21, 2019)

hypochondriac said:


> Some of us are slow learners.
> I tend to repeat the same mistake. But I have improved.


Me also. I repeat the same mistakes over and over. 
Seems I’m a very slow learner too


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## RadishRose (Aug 21, 2019)

Yes, more often than I should have,


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## hollydolly (Aug 22, 2019)

RadishRose said:


> Yes, more often than I should have,


 yep.. !! ..I agree !!


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## Lc jones (Aug 22, 2019)

hollydolly said:


> yep.. !! ..I agree !!


Me too!


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## toffee (Aug 22, 2019)

yes far to much time wasted yep'''


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## Pappy (Aug 22, 2019)

Most of my working days. The day that I walked out of work, retired, was like a prison term over for me. Never looked back and hardly any unhappy days in 20 years.


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## hypochondriac (Aug 22, 2019)

Pappy said:


> Most of my working days. The day that I walked out of work, retired, was like a prison term over for me. Never looked back and hardly any unhappy days in 20 years.


Im very similar to you. Some people are born workers. Im not one of them. Had I found a labor of love I might have a different view.


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## Rosemarie (Aug 22, 2019)

I think it's important to  have a personal post-mortem when something unpleasant happens. We have to come to terms with it and learn from our experiences. Dwelling on something for too long though, and harbouring a grudge doesn't do any good. We have to let go and move on, though it can be difficult when something has a permanent effect on your life.


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## Pecos (Aug 22, 2019)

What bugs me is when my mind travels to something that happened 30 or 40 years ago and activates an emotional response. It is a complete waste of perfectly good brain waves.


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## hypochondriac (Aug 22, 2019)

Rosemarie said:


> harbouring a grudge doesn't do any good.


sorry rosemarie. jusr reminds me of a funny scene in a kids movie. parenthood I think it was. The kid had some trauma in a baseball game and he remembers later in adult life "they wouldn't  let me play first base!!!." something like that.
Id love to say I have never held a grudge but I certainly have and probably still do. Though I do make a special; effort to move on. Life is too short and I don't want to have any grudges on my death bed. (insert melodramatic flashforward of me on death bed being stubbornly unforgiving)


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## Rosemarie (Aug 22, 2019)

Yes, we do remember things that happened a long time ago, and we still feel embarrassed by some of the things we did. I'm sure we all wish we could turn the clock back and do something differently. There are many situations I wish I had handled differently. One of the problems is that other people remember something you said or did, and it has a permanent effect on their opinion of you.


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## hypochondriac (Aug 22, 2019)

Rosemarie said:


> One of the problems is that other people remember something you said or did, and it has a permanent effect on their opinion of you.


so you are saying we have to worry about others' grudges towards us as well? Oh dear life is too hard Rosemarie! Too hard!!


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## Rosemarie (Aug 22, 2019)

hypochondriac said:


> so you are saying we have to worry about others' grudges towards us as well? Oh dear life is too hard Rosemarie! Too hard!!



Life is hard for most of us, unless you shut yourself away from the world and all it's ills. Every time something bad happens, I tell myself it's all part of being alive. What's the alternative....to be dead!

Of course, a lot depends on how sensitive you are. Some people are so thick-skinned they just sail through life completely unaware of what is truly happening. Others are deeply affected by every little thing.


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## hypochondriac (Aug 22, 2019)

Rosemarie said:


> Life is hard for most of us, unless you shut yourself away from the world and all it's ills. Every time something bad happens, I tell myself it's all part of being alive. What's the alternative....to be dead!
> 
> Of course, a lot depends on how sensitive you are. Some people are so thick-skinned they just sail through life completely unaware of what is truly happening. Others are deeply affected by every little thing.


I like to think im a sensitive soul. sometimes it works in my favour sometimes not. I envy the tough pragmatists of this world but i cant emulate them.


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## Lara (Aug 23, 2019)

Life is bittersweet for all. The bitter and the sweet together makes us who we are so it's never wasted.


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