# Do you think living alone is a big deal?



## fuzzybuddy (Jul 6, 2020)

If you read some of the posts in this section, you'd think living alone was some kind of hideous disease.  Well, I live alone. And for most of my life, I lived with others. It just happened that due to beak ups, and being disabled, I live alone. My brother, who was married at 19, and spent the next 40 years married, is now living alone. It happens.
But , again, if you read some of the posts, living alone is some horrible tragedy. It some kind of big deal. Do you think living alone is a big deal?


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## JaniceM (Jul 6, 2020)

fuzzybuddy said:


> If you read some of the posts in this section, you'd think living alone was some kind of hideous disease.  Well, I live alone. And for most of my life, I lived with others. It just happened that due to beak ups, and being disabled, I live alone. My brother, who was married at 19, and spent the next 40 years married, is now living alone. It happens.
> But , again, if you read some of the posts, living alone is some horrible tragedy. It some kind of big deal. Do you think living alone is a big deal?


Yes- but in a positive way.  
Obviously it was great having my kids around before they grew up and moved out on their own, but I wouldn't want to share my "living space" with anyone other than my kids/families.


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## Treacle (Jul 6, 2020)

I don't live alone at present but I have done. I have no problem with that. I am able to occupy my time and find engaging with others for long periods of time very difficult. I prefer my own company. Would always like to have a pet in my life though. My o/h is gregarious and loves to socialise with his 'mates' and will chat with anyone he encounters. Just not for me. We are all 'made' different and what suits one does not suit another. If you are content on your own enjoy it. There is no stigma as far as I am concerned and/or no horrible tragedy. I find that some people cannot understand the way I choose such a solitary  life (not socialising or very little) and I've had to spend many years justifying the way that I am because people think I'm odd but |I've accepted the life style that is right for me and embrace it. With the Covid 19 lock down it was not a problem for me as I'm self isolating all the time  but of course for others who like to socialise it is difficult. Accept who you are, there are other people out there who share similar positive thoughts about living alone.
Just some thoughts ☺


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## Giantsfan1954 (Jul 6, 2020)

I had a huge problem with it when my husband passed...I have gotten used to it and very much enjoy it now.
My apartment is set up for my convenience and comfort,I can decorate how I choose so just me and the kitties enjoying a peaceful,drama-free life,lol


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## mlh (Jul 6, 2020)

Giantsfan1954 said:


> I had a huge problem with it when my husband passed...I have gotten used to it and very much enjoy it now.
> My apartment is *set up for my convenience and comfort,I can decorate how I choose so just me and the kitties enjoying a peaceful,drama-free life*,lol



hello giantsfan1954, i can completely relate to this. i too lost a spouse. i too enjoy doing what i desire without any drama. i do not have a problem with being alone. everyone else has a problem with my being alone but, i do not.


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## Ruth n Jersey (Jul 6, 2020)

I still have my hubby with me but if he should pass before me I will have no problem living alone providing I'm near one of my kids. I don't want to be a burden but would like to know they are near for emergencies. 
At that time I would like a smaller home because I could never maintain the one we have. 
I think it would be a big adjustment but I'm pretty sure I could handle it and I applaud those who are self sufficient and doing well on their own.


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## Rosemarie (Jul 6, 2020)

Some people have a very narrow outlook on life and think everyone should fit into their idea of 'normal'. People who are alone by choice are viewed with suspicion by many, they think anyone who prefers solitude is weird in some way.
I have always been a loner. Even as a young child, I spent the evenings sitting in my bedroom reading, rather than downstairs with the rest of the family. I liked going for long walks by myself.
Now, at last, I live alone and it suits me perfectly.


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## Ruthanne (Jul 7, 2020)

I actually prefer to live by myself with my pet family, of course.  I don't have to clean up after anyone or contend with someone else's habits.  

It would be nice to have someone to visit with on occasion, though.  

So, no, I don't see living alone as a horrible thing at all.


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## Aunt Bea (Jul 7, 2020)

I live alone and enjoy it.

_"The worst feeling is not being lonely, sometimes it is being forgotten by someone you can't forget." _-Anonymous


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## Judycat (Jul 7, 2020)

Living alone is no big deal. I've always preferred a lot of alone time, now I have unlimited alone time and it is heaven on Earth.


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## katlupe (Jul 7, 2020)

It is a big deal to me because I love it! These last two years I have lived alone for the first time in my life and I will never live with anyone else again. My son lives a block from me and I see him all the time. So no hardship for me. I like to say I can do what I want when I want. No cleaning up after anyone again (well, I have a small pet). My food lasts. I can cook and put leftovers in the refrigerator and they are still there for supper!


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## Liberty (Jul 7, 2020)

I've not lived alone, but do imagine taking care of the house/yard maintenance and chores might become a "chore" of course...lol.  Or not.  Maybe something you just get used to.  Someone famous once said "everyone winds up alone".


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## hellomimi (Jul 7, 2020)

It's a big deal to me since I'm a hugger and I want people and pets to come home to. Although I like to be alone at certain times to reflect and get in touch with I and me, I still want to have someone to ask how's their day, what they want me to bring them later.


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## JustBonee (Jul 7, 2020)

Giantsfan1954 said:


> I had a huge problem with it when my husband passed...I have gotten used to it and very much enjoy it now.
> My apartment is set up for my convenience and comfort,I can decorate how I choose so just me and the kitties enjoying a peaceful,drama-free life,lol



I can relate to all of that!   ... my life in a nutshell. ..   LilBear (dog) and I are very happy in our solo existence   in our apartment.   

My younger daughter thought I really should have moved into their home when I became a widow,   and it took a lot of convincing  her that I needed to try  life on my own   ...  I never lived alone in my entire life before this,  always had parents,  then husband.    
It's been a  wonderful  experience living alone.


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## mlh (Jul 7, 2020)

Rosemarie said:


> Some people have a very narrow outlook on life and think everyone should fit into their idea of 'normal'. People who are alone by choice are viewed with suspicion by many, they think *anyone who prefers solitude is weird* in some way.
> I have always been a loner. Even as a young child, I spent the evenings sitting in my bedroom reading, rather than downstairs with the rest of the family. I liked going for long walks by myself.
> Now, at last, I live alone and it suits me perfectly.



 i am weird.


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## Pepper (Jul 7, 2020)

It's a big deal to me too, @hellomimi.   I miss the people I lived with because I loved them and they loved me.  I loved someone having my back, and I theirs.  It's the love I miss.


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## hellomimi (Jul 7, 2020)

Pepper said:


> It's a big deal to me too, @hellomimi.   I miss the people I lived with because I loved them and they loved me.  I loved someone having my back, and I theirs.  It's the love I miss.


Very true. I'm happy to live with people that are more talkative than me.  I cannot imagine working fulltime and having a pet I have to leave alone. I guess I have more love to give now that I'm single.


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## Ruthanne (Jul 7, 2020)

katlupe said:


> It is a big deal to me because I love it! These last two years I have lived alone for the first time in my life and I will never live with anyone else again. My son lives a block from me and I see him all the time. So no hardship for me. I like to say I can do what I want when I want. No cleaning up after anyone again (well, I have a small pet). My food lasts. I can cook and put leftovers in the refrigerator and they are still there for supper!


That's so true, we can do what we please when we please and no one will get bent out of shape about it...


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## JustBonee (Jul 7, 2020)

hellomimi said:


> ......     I cannot imagine working fulltime and having a pet I have to leave alone.



That's a sad situation for those that  do that....  not fair to anyone.


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## katlupe (Jul 7, 2020)

Just because I say I live alone, it does not mean I am alone in life. My pet is with me almost 24 hours a day, I think when I am gone for the day, he likes it.


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## AmberTea (Jul 7, 2020)

I live alone since parting ways from my significant other a few plus years ago, and I truly prefer it.


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## Pecos (Jul 7, 2020)

My wife and I have both spent many of our adult years alone and it did not pose a problem for either one of us. We have been together for over 35 years now and I love living with her.

But we are well aware that at some point one of us will be called away and we are doing our best to plan for that unwelcome future. We are going to move to the West Coast to be closer to the children and we are going to move into a retirement facility where full services are provided. We also have to recognize that at some point, neither of us should be driving anymore.

I am slightly introverted and my wife is slightly extroverted. If I have to leave, I want to be sure that my lovely lady is in a safe, manageable place where there are more people around. I don't want to leave her rattling around in this big house cooking for one, struggling with yard work and home upkeep. We will have a large apartment where we can retreat to get our private quiet time. In that situation, I think that the one left behind will have the best of "being alone" and "being involved."


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## Pepper (Jul 7, 2020)

katlupe said:


> Just because I say I live alone, it does not mean I am alone in life. My pet is with me almost 24 hours a day, I think when I am gone for the day, he likes it.


You also said "My son lives a block from me and I see him *all the time*."  
Nope, you're really not living alone.  Don't mind me, I'm jealous!  Wish I saw my son all the time.  As it is I see him (and my grandson [sigh]) once or twice a week, but I'd like "all the time" better!


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## Gaer (Jul 7, 2020)

So much understanding comes in one's aloneness.  There is an unsatisfied discontent, yet, a tendency for complacency; both to be viligently fought. 
One must always be growing, learning, studying, creating ,changing and re-inventing the self.  For me, it's a time of great self-discovery.  I have a feeling of expectancy.  Everything can change in the blink of an eye!  I must be prepared for anything!


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## Butterfly (Jul 8, 2020)

I live alone (with my dog) and am fine with it.


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## katlupe (Jul 8, 2020)

Pepper said:


> You also said "My son lives a block from me and I see him *all the time*."
> Nope, you're really not living alone.  Don't mind me, I'm jealous!  Wish I saw my son all the time.  As it is I see him (and my grandson [sigh]) once or twice a week, but I'd like "all the time" better!


I am happy to see him all the time, but another thought I have is that I wish he wasn't disabled and had a family of his own. When I am gone he will be all alone. There is nothing I can do about that.


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## moviequeen1 (Jul 9, 2020)

I've lived alone most of my adult life,prefer it that way,nobody to answer to 
My siblings live elsewhere younger brother in CT, older sister 'across the pond'
Yes,there are times when I feel lonely, I have a group of close friends over the yrs have become my 'extended family members'.I've mentioned in other posts about Marcia&her husband Dave,2 sons Alexei{my 'movie buddy} Dave Jr.They 'adopted' me 10yrs ago,they are my 'Bflo family',they live 2 blocks away.Marcia is my local emergency contact.I don't see them as often as I'd like to because of the virus,but we keep in touch via email/phone.Once in awhile on my walks,I'll stroll over with an article/book for them or just to say'Hi' always wearing my mask,social distancing


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## EvieB (Jul 9, 2020)

I am 75. I live alone with a cat. I find plenty to do to entertain myself. I enjoy being alone since most of my life it's turned out to be that way. I live in a senior apartment community of 10 duplexes so there are 20 apartment units. Two units are occupied by married couples and the other 18 are occupied by single women and single men. We do not socialize much here. Just wave when we see each other. Seems we are all content being alone and entertaining ourselves. But people who feel sad being alone may have come from a large family or had a lot of children and friends who now live far away or who have passed on. I feel sad for them. I don't want to live with anyone but a cat. A good cat is a joy and a comforting companion. I spend most days alone and speak to people when I go shopping or briefly speak to my next door neighbor.  I read, sew, listen to music, watch TV, spend a lot of time on YouTube, try new recipes. Eating fresh and cooking from scratch requires a lot of food prep so that keeps me busy since I prepare all meals for myself. Making gifts for family members is something I enjoy doing. I only wish I had someone in my age group to go kayaking, hiking or camping with. A lot of people my age are not well enough or not interested in doing these activities.


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## Kaila (Jul 10, 2020)

@EvieB 
Welcome to you.  That's a very interesting and thoughtful post.  Thanks for sharing your ideas with us, here, on forum threads.

It would help some of our readers if you would separate your posts, into sections with some spaces between a group of sentences.  
Your writing is worth reading, and more would, if it was.

That's great that you enjoy doing things and are still able to do them, such as cooking fresh from scratch, and sewing, and that you have interesting ways to spend time, and the good company of your cat.

Many of us do enjoy our cat or dog, or other animal companion.
Again, welcome to the site.


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## Kayelle (Jul 10, 2020)

I was widowed in 2005. We were married as teens and I thought my life was over at age 61.

We had a little Maltese dog we loved to pieces and when she died 10 days later I was beside myself with the horrible loneliness of being without them both. I think she just couldn't live without him.

I lived alone for two long years until I married Bowmore. I really hope I die first this time as I'm not a person who likes to be alone 24/7.
Sometimes I really feel like some "alone time" though and when I tell him that, he "gets it". I like to take off in my car alone and head for the beach to unwind.


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## Gatsby (Jul 29, 2020)

Gaer said:


> So much understanding comes in one's aloneness.  There is an unsatisfied discontent, yet, a tendency for complacency; both to be viligently fought.
> One must always be growing, learning, studying, creating ,changing and re-inventing the self.  For me, it's a time of great self-discovery.  I have a feeling of expectancy.  Everything can change in the blink of an eye!  I must be prepared for anything!


I greatly appreciate this wisdom, this peace with oneself which only comes from a great introspection and the deep knowledge of others.
Feeling of loneliness is a case of the need for deep and not superficial communication, a condition that has nothing to do with the person remaining alone, there are those who live alone without complaining about anything, and others feel very lonely and sad despite the presence of many people around it.


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## hiraeth2018 (Aug 28, 2020)

There is no greater aloneness than unhappily living with someone, married or not.


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## Nathan (Aug 28, 2020)

After my last divorce(and before I re-married) I spent 7 years living alone, and learned to enjoy my own company, and not feel "deprived".

If I were to be alone again, there would be no rush to fill that vacancy...


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## Pecos (Aug 28, 2020)

Nathan said:


> After my last divorce(and before I re-married) I spent 7 years living alone, and learned to enjoy my own company, and not feel "deprived".
> 
> If I were to be alone again, there would be no rush to fill that vacancy...


It was 7 years for me as well and I benefitted a great deal from that time.


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## cookiei (Aug 28, 2020)

Can someone point out some posts or threads saying living alone was some kind of hideous disease?
Living alone is not a big deal. Some people do it by choice, other do it due to divorce or lost of spouse


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## Nathan (Aug 28, 2020)

Pecos said:


> It was 7 years for me as well and I benefitted a great deal from that time.


That "timeout" gave me an opportunity to assess my life, my approach to relationships and to grow.


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## LindaB (Aug 28, 2020)

I'm sure that it is difficult in many ways but must have an upside as well. I really look forward to times when my husband goes to visit his brother and I have 4 days of alone time. I know it's not the same and I  probably wouldn't like it if I lived alone. However, I have many friends and lots of interests plus two fur babies for company, so maybe...


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## MarciKS (Aug 28, 2020)

Nathan said:


> After my last divorce(and before I re-married) I spent 7 years living alone, and learned to enjoy my own company, and not feel "deprived".
> 
> If I were to be alone again, there would be no rush to fill that vacancy...


I have no plans to fill that vacancy in my life either. What God has planned is another matter. *fingers crossed that it will be good either way*


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## jujube (Aug 28, 2020)

I did not like living alone after I lost my husband.  I was glad to have another loving relationship happen.  I do best with the companionship of another person.

I CAN live alone. I just don't WANT to live alone.


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## Butterfly (Aug 28, 2020)

Bonnie said:


> That's a sad situation for those that  do that....  not fair to anyone.



Not necessarily.  When I was working, I always had dogs and of course left them during the day.  They were house dogs and had the run of the house, even when I was gone.  They had doggie doors to go out in the back yard when they needed to, each other to play with, plenty of water and couches to snooze on.  They were always glad to see me when I returned.   If one of them was ailing, I could run home at lunch and see how they were doing or give them medicine or whatever.

They certainly didn't seem to feel it was a sad situation or unfair in any way.


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## twinkles (Aug 29, 2020)

yes i loved living alone-i sold my mobile home i had and moved in with the  one of the kids i thought for 1 month 8 years later i am still here-and it is rough


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## Autumn (Aug 29, 2020)

LindaB said:


> I'm sure that it is difficult in many ways but must have an upside as well. I really look forward to times when my husband goes to visit his brother and I have 4 days of alone time. I know it's not the same and I  probably wouldn't like it if I lived alone. However, I have many friends and lots of interests plus two fur babies for company, so maybe...



I used to enjoy times when my husband was away, but back then I knew he was coming back.  It's different now.  And friends seem to trickle away when you're not half of a couple anymore.  Some people stay away because they don't know what to say, somme assume that they'll somehow be bothering me (I hear that all the time).  As for my fur baby, she's a strong 21lb cat and I can't manage to hold her to give her the pills she needs or get er into her carrier to haul her to the vvet.

Sorry...I don't mean to be so negative...but I can't think of anything I enjoy about living alone.


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## LindaB (Aug 29, 2020)

Autumn said:


> I used to enjoy times when my husband was away, but back then I knew he was coming back.  It's different now.  And friends seem to trickle away when you're not half of a couple anymore.  Some people stay away because they don't know what to say, somme assume that they'll somehow be bothering me (I hear that all the time).  As for my fur baby, she's a strong 21lb cat and I can't manage to hold her to give her the pills she needs or get er into her carrier to haul her to the vvet.
> 
> Sorry...I don't mean to be so negative...but I can't think of anything I enjoy about living alone.


I understand. I'm so sorry.


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## JustBonee (Aug 29, 2020)

Butterfly said:


> Not necessarily.  When I was working, I always had dogs and of course left them during the day.  They were house dogs and had the run of the house, even when I was gone.  They had doggie doors to go out in the back yard when they needed to, each other to play with, plenty of water and couches to snooze on.  They were always glad to see me when I returned.   If one of them was ailing, I could run home at lunch and see how they were doing or give them medicine or whatever.
> 
> They certainly didn't seem to feel it was a sad situation or unfair in any way.



@Butterfly ... referring to a dog locked inside an apartment or house all day  alone  .... that really happens  too often.   
And I feel  sorry for any  animal put in that situation....    Cats fare much better.


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## peppermint (Aug 29, 2020)

My husband is alive...We are together for 75 years....He went through so much and still smiles....He is my Hero....
I don't know how I would last if I lose him....So, I hope I go first...….


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## Marie5656 (Aug 29, 2020)

*I lived alone for many years before Rick and I got together. I was in my 40s when we met.  After almost 20 years together, it was a bit hard for me to readjust.  But I have,
I rather like my solitude and alone time.  Even when I move to the apartment, I will have the best of both worlds. I can go out to the common room to interact with people, and then go back home if I feel the need to be alone. I do find that now, due to Covid, I am appreciating interactions with others more, even craving it. But I still like going back inside too.*


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## Ellen Marie (Aug 30, 2020)

You never live alone when you have a friend called Jesus.


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## katlupe (Aug 30, 2020)

peppermint said:


> My husband is alive...We are together for 75 years....He went through so much and still smiles....He is my Hero....
> I don't know how I would last if I lose him....So, I hope I go first...….


Wow, 75 years, that is a long time! Congratulations!


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## hollydolly (Aug 30, 2020)

peppermint said:


> My husband is alive...We are together for 75 years....He went through so much and still smiles....He is my Hero....
> I don't know how I would last if I lose him....So, I hope I go first...….


WoW!! 75 years together ? ..that's amazing!!


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## Pepper (Aug 30, 2020)

I think it is Peppermint who is 75.


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## hellomimi (Aug 30, 2020)

jujube said:


> I CAN live alone. I just don't WANT to live alone.


Ditto.

I realized the brevity of life and want positive people around me.


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## Lakeland living (Aug 30, 2020)

I must be really sick, I love living on my own. Of course there are visitors at times.


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## Ladybj (Aug 30, 2020)

I would not want to live alone.  However, for those that decide to live alone, nothing is wrong with that.  My hubby takes care of soo many things around the house.  Yes, he has spoiled me but I do not take it for granted.  I let him know how much I appreciate him.  God forbid anything happen to him before me, I would have someone in my life.  I grew up with 5 siblings in the house, therefore I am use to having someone around.


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## Ladybj (Aug 30, 2020)

jujube said:


> I did not like living alone after I lost my husband.  I was glad to have another loving relationship happen.  I do best with the companionship of another person.
> 
> I CAN live alone. I just don't WANT to live alone.


I would not want to live alone either.  God forbid anything happen to my hubby... I would welcome another loving relationship. Like you, I do best with the companionship of another person.  A pet just won't do for me.


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## OneEyedDiva (Aug 31, 2020)

I lived alone for a good part of my life (not considering having my son here and raising him). I like being alone much of the time, which is why, as some here know, I was not in a traditional marriage the second time around. Although I found my (half) siblings later in life, I was raised as an only child and maybe that helps me do well when I'm alone. So to answer you question...no big deal at all.


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## katlupe (Sep 1, 2020)

I think the thing is that people are all different. I have always been an introvert and when I was married the first time, I was alone during the day. My son was in school and my husband was at work. I was a stay at home mom. I could do whatever I wanted when I wanted. I was happy. 

Now after three failed marriages, I feel free living alone. Of course, I live in the downtown area of a city. I am only alone when I am in inside my apartment. But I am not sitting alone watching tv and being sad. I am doing stuff. Pretty much busy all day. I am in a relationship with a man who is talks to me for hours on the phone every day. I just keep the phone on speaker and do what I am doing. I guess I have the best of both worlds.


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## GeorgiaXplant (Sep 1, 2020)

Maybe the OP didn't mean living alone as much as being single. I don't exactly live alone because I live in a granny flat attached to DD's home but single because I'm widowed. I can come and go, as can my DD and her family, between The Hovel (my home) and their home.

For whatever reason, there used to be a stigma attached to never having been married, especially for older folks. In times past, it was okay for a bachelor son to live with parents and he was considered a "catch," but an unmarried daughter living with her parents was referred to as a spinster and wasn't a "catch" by any stretch of the imagination even if well-educated. Or maybe especially if well-educated!

Younger people now don't seem to give a thought to being/staying single, but unless the single person makes it known that there's an active plan of either paying off student loans or saving to buy a home, _that _carries a stigma.

How times have changed!


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## Victor (Sep 2, 2020)

I live alone for most of my life. Some days I enjoy and many I really wish for company and I don't mean the cleaning lady or a neighbor. I wonder if some of the loners who love being alone deep down would prefer a loveable companion--like "sour grapes"   ??
Someone nice to talk with


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## Camper6 (Sep 2, 2020)

Living alone during the day is a ball. The nights are a nightmare waking up with no one around and nowhere to go. I can hardly wait for morning.


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## gennie (Sep 2, 2020)

I think living alone is the key to my sanity.  I have strong hermit tendencies and would probably go mad with a constant companion.  DD lives nearby and that works well.


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## Phoenix (Sep 2, 2020)

I'd rather be alone than with just anyone.  I've lived alone for segments of my life.  Having been with my husband for nearly 30 years, I know that if he passes first I will be miserable for a while.  After the worst is over I will see if I can find a homeless person who is in need of a place to stay for cheap, say maybe share the cost of the utilities with me.  Finding the right person would be difficult, but I would hate to be the one living in the street.  We need to help each other.  I think I may volunteer at an animal shelter...if I'm well enough at the time.  The nearest animal shelter is 37 miles away.


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## bingo (Sep 2, 2020)

peppermint said:


> My husband is alive...We are together for 75 years....He went through so much and still smiles....He is my Hero....
> I don't know how I would last if I lose him....So, I hope I go first...….


I have these same thoughts...my husband is my hero....selfish maybe to want to go first...leave him alone..but I wish it too


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## Sunny (Sep 2, 2020)

I had a good marriage and lived happily with my husband for 54 years, until his death. That became the first time in my life I've lived alone, and I found that I like it. I enjoy the independence, the ability to make all the decisions about where to go, what to eat, what to watch on TV, etc. 

Of course, it's a lot less enjoyable now, with the quarantine. But I don't imagine that it's exactly a picnic for couples who are stuck in the house with only each other for company, 24 hours a day, either.  I'm looking forward to getting back to normal socializing with friends and neighbors; meanwhile, it's not too bad. I can meet and converse with people, with masks on, outside of the building, and then, there's always Zoom.


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## Aneeda72 (Sep 2, 2020)

Sunny said:


> I had a good marriage and lived happily with my husband for 54 years, until his death. That became the first time in my life I've lived alone, and I found that I like it. I enjoy the independence, the ability to make all the decisions about where to go, what to eat, what to watch on TV, etc.
> 
> Of course, it's a lot less enjoyable now, with the quarantine. But I don't imagine that it's exactly a picnic for couples who are stuck in the house with only each other for company, 24 hours a day, either.  I'm looking forward to getting back to normal socializing with friends and neighbors; meanwhile, it's not too bad. I can meet and converse with people, with masks on, outside of the building, and then, there's always Zoom.


Yup, stuck in the house, 24/7, with my husband.  I can assure you, it’s no picnic, although we do have ants .


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## Lewkat (Sep 2, 2020)

I live alone, but am surrounded by many others who also live alone.  However, they are more social than I am.  I have always been a dreamer and a thinker and with others around it distracts me no end.  I had a terrible time convincing my son that he should have his own apartment at age 23.  Since he is an only child, I guess he likes having someone around and now that his wife has passed away, he's really lost at times.  He's beside himself that I'll be visiting for 2 weeks.  Of course that means all his meals made, laundry done, shopping done, house cleaning done, just like the old days.  I am being facetious of course, we'll have a great time together as he my best friend in this world.  Besides Marley, that is.  I love them both dearly.


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## Phoenix (Sep 2, 2020)

My husband and I have been in the house with each other for 24/7 for nearly thirty years.  We are both writers.  We do not get in each other's hair.  His office is downstairs in the den.  Mine is upstairs in the living room.  We do fine.  He's a nice guy.  I dumped two other husbands because they weren't.


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## Jules (Sep 2, 2020)

There‘re a variety of definitions of ’living alone.’   If you have someone to talk to on a regular basis, whether it’s on a device or at your window, that’s not totally being alone.  There are many who are truly alone.   No one to talk to for days, no one to interact with.


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## Phoenix (Sep 2, 2020)

Jules said:


> There‘re a variety of definitions of ’living alone.’   If you have someone to talk to on a regular basis, whether it’s on a device or at your window, that’s not totally being alone.  There are many who are truly alone.   No one to talk to for days, no one to interact with.


SInce I live in the boonies and my family has passed away, if my husband goes first, I will be one of those people.  So I have to make plans on how to deal with it.  If I go first, he will have to handle it.


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## Camper6 (Sep 5, 2020)

gennie said:


> I think living alone is the key to my sanity.  I have strong hermit tendencies and would probably go mad with a constant companion.  DD lives nearby and that works well.


Living alone drives me mad.  I end up talking to myself and giving answers as well.


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## gennie (Sep 5, 2020)

Camper6 said:


> Living alone drives me mad.  I end up talking to myself and giving answers as well.


Me to and most days, it's the most sensible conversation I have all day.


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## Phoenix (Sep 5, 2020)

Camper6 said:


> Living alone drives me mad.  I end up talking to myself and giving answers as well.


What's wrong with that?  We talk to ourselves in our mind anyway.


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## Camper6 (Sep 5, 2020)

Phoenix said:


> What's wrong with that?  We talk to ourselves in our mind anyway.


Yes? But I'm giving myself heck and then I tell myself Im not that bad but it's unconvincing.


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## Jules (Sep 5, 2020)

It’s the little bits of chit chat that I’d miss.  Day after day of no one to talk to would be intolerable.  

TG for social sites like this.


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## Phoenix (Sep 5, 2020)

Camper6 said:


> Yes? But I'm giving myself heck and then I tell myself Im not that bad but it's unconvincing.


Be kind to yourself.


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## Camper6 (Sep 5, 2020)

Phoenix said:


> Be kind to yourself.


I will have to lie.


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## Phoenix (Sep 5, 2020)

Camper6 said:


> I will have to lie.


What I'm saying is do something nice for yourself.  Do things that make you feel better.  One of the things I do is wear red.  Play music that makes you feel better.  There are all kinds of things a person can do.


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## Camper6 (Sep 5, 2020)

I remember the song .

"I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it"

I do give myself a treat every day. But I still say life is more fun if you share it preferably with someone of the opposite sex. It's the way humans have been programmed.


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## Phoenix (Sep 5, 2020)

Camper6 said:


> I remember the song .
> 
> "I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it"
> 
> I do give myself a treat every day. But I still say life is more fun if you share it preferably with someone of the opposite sex. It's the way humans have been programmed.


I agree.  It can be much nicer to share with the right someone.  I know when I've tried rooming with a female roommate, she annoyed me a lot more than a male sweetheart would have.  Have you thought about how to go about finding the right companion?  My sister's widower found two wives in an online dating service.  He was about 67, the first time and 80 the second.  The first one passed away.


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## Camper6 (Sep 5, 2020)

Phoenix said:


> I agree.  It can be much nicer to share with the right someone.  I know when I've tried rooming with a female roommate, she annoyed me a lot more than a male sweetheart would have.  Have you thought about how to go about finding the right companion?  My sister's widower found two wives in an online dating service.  He was about 67, the first time and 80 the second.  The first one passed away.


I'm too old now. It's a nice thought. As my dear wife used to say. It's tough enough looking after yourself, never mind someone else.


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## Phoenix (Sep 5, 2020)

Camper6 said:


> I'm too old now. It's a nice thought. As my dear wife used to say. It's tough enough looking after yourself, never mind someone else.


I understand that.  I would feel the same way.


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## marcb (Sep 5, 2020)

I live on my own, was married for 20 years. I feel good that I am 'domesticated' so have a good and tidy place - apart from the projects that I can work on in my own time. But....for me now, the priority is to share with someone else, as a companion. Time alone is good, time together is better.


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## IrisSenior (Sep 5, 2020)

I have never lived alone and don't desire to do so ever. Maybe my being hearing-impaired has something to do with it. I do like my alone time to read and putter in the garden for a few hours or shop at a store. If it ever got to the point I was alone, I would move in with my daughter.


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## Phoenix (Sep 5, 2020)

IrisSenior said:


> I have never lived alone and don't desire to do so ever. Maybe my being hearing-impaired has something to do with it. I do like my alone time to read and putter in the garden for a few hours or shop at a store. If it ever got to the point I was alone, I would move in with my daughter.


Is your daughter okay with that?  My mom told my sister and I that she never wanted to live with us, ever.  So when it came time that it was a possibility, I dreaded it.  The doc said she was too ill to not be in a care facility, so both of us were spared.


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## IrisSenior (Sep 6, 2020)

Phoenix said:


> Is your daughter okay with that?  My mom told my sister and I that she never wanted to live with us, ever.  So when it came time that it was a possibility, I dreaded it.  The doc said she was too ill to not be in a care facility, so both of us were spared.


My daughter will always take care of me!


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## Leann (Sep 12, 2020)

I've lived alone for more than 10 years. I thought I didn't mind it and I actually do quite well on my own but now that I'm older, I think being alone might not be ideal. Last week I was terribly sick with a stomach virus. I would have loved to have had someone with me just to keep an eye on me, maybe bring me some water to sip on. I suddenly felt VERY alone and, to be honest, a bit afraid. Both are new thoughts for me. Alone and afraid.


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## Furryanimal (Sep 13, 2020)

I’ve been living alone for nearly a year now and if it wasn’t for this damn virus i’d be quite happy with that.But with everything i normally do still cancelled it’s a bit of a pain...because i am simply not seeing anyone.Even my sister won’t visit and i have been warned off going anywhere near hers!


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## Phoenix (Sep 13, 2020)

Leann said:


> I've lived alone for more than 10 years. I thought I didn't mind it and I actually do quite well on my own but now that I'm older, I think being alone might not be ideal. Last week I was terribly sick with a stomach virus. I would have loved to have had someone with me just to keep an eye on me, maybe bring me some water to sip on. I suddenly felt VERY alone and, to be honest, a bit afraid. Both are new thoughts for me. Alone and afraid.


It is a frightening feeling to know that one is alone, old and sick.  I think it's a matter in part of not knowing what's going to happen or if one can handle it.  Have you considered getting a device called LIfeline.  They check on you.  My mom had one, although it was called something else.  She had the option of wearing a necklace or something on her wrist.  You can press it to contact them in an emergency.  They will come.  They check in once or twice a day.


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## Leann (Sep 13, 2020)

Phoenix said:


> It is a frightening feeling to know that one is alone, old and sick.  I think it's a matter in part of not knowing what's going to happen or if one can handle it.  Have you considered getting a device called LIfeline.  They check on you.  My mom had one, although it was called something else.  She had the option of wearing a necklace or something on her wrist.  You can press it to contact them in an emergency.  They will come.  They check in once or twice a day.


Thank you, I hadn't considered it but now I will. I appreciate your response.


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## Phoenix (Sep 14, 2020)

Feel free/invited to contact me in a conversation when you feel alone and afraid.  If my husband dies first I will get a Lifeline type device.


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## Leann (Sep 14, 2020)

Phoenix said:


> Feel free/invited to contact me in a conversation when you feel alone and afraid.  If my husband dies first I will get a Lifeline type device.


I will! Thank you.


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## fancicoffee13 (Sep 15, 2020)

After my husband passed in 2015, I lived alone with 2 dogs.  I did fine, went to a senior center and made friends there.  Volunteered at a hospital, and other places.  I made a point of getting out, staying active, and staying engaged in society as long as I could.  I liked it and even cut back on the volunteering since COVID hit and still get out and socialize, in a safe way.


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