# First day of retirement but why do I still have a knot in my stomach like I was still working?



## Vinny (Jul 2, 2018)

First day of retirement and I woke up because my iPhone alarm was set to go off during on work days and I did not change it. Then I checked my iPhone which I always kept on my night tabe due to being on call 24/7. After clearing out the cobwebs I asked myself what in heck was I doing.

It still feels strange to be retired. I still have that knot in my stomach that at any minute someone was going to call me with a problem or an alert that the network was down. Worse still was being notified that one of our secure warehouse where we stored Military Arms was broken into. Could also be one of the many Federal Agencies I dealt with or a surprise audit at one of my offices. Even as I write this I still feel that know in my stomach. I cannot relax as I thought I would but given time I am sure that I will feel different. It is difficult to have serious responsibilities for 50 years and then wake up one morning and forget all of the things that can and have gone wrong in the past.


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## SeaBreeze (Jul 2, 2018)

Well, waking up to an alarm didn't help.   You will lose the knot and be able to relax in due time, it won't happen overnight especially with the position you had.  I think you'll unwind slowly....try to relax and enjoy now, you deserve it! :sunglass:


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## JimW (Jul 2, 2018)

Vinny said:


> First day of retirement and I woke up because my iPhone alarm was set to go off during on work days and I did not change it. Then I checked my iPhone which I always kept on my night tabe due to being on call 24/7. After clearing out the cobwebs I asked myself what in heck was I doing.
> 
> It still feels strange to be retired. I still have that knot in my stomach that at any minute someone was going to call me with a problem or an alert that the network was down. Worse still was being notified that one of our secure warehouse where we stored Military Arms was broken into. Could also be one of the many Federal Agencies I dealt with or a surprise audit at one of my offices. Even as I write this I still feel that know in my stomach. I cannot relax as I thought I would but given time I am sure that I will feel different. It is difficult to have serious responsibilities for 50 years and then wake up one morning and forget all of the things that can and have gone wrong in the past.



Vinny, first of all congratulations on your retirement! 

It's your first day, you can't expect to change a lifetime of habits in just one day. Try to relax as much as possible, it will take some time to get used to the change.


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## RadishRose (Jul 2, 2018)

Vinny, give yourself time. Take a yoga class for relaxation or plan a fun dinner out with your loved ones. Create little something to look forward to most days.


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## Ken N Tx (Jul 2, 2018)

Vinny said:


> First day of retirement and I woke up because my iPhone alarm was set to go off during on work days and I did not change it. Then I checked my iPhone which I always kept on my night tabe due to being on call 24/7. After clearing out the cobwebs I asked myself what in heck was I doing.
> 
> It still feels strange to be retired. I still have that knot in my stomach that at any minute someone was going to call me with a problem or an alert that the network was down. Worse still was being notified that one of our secure warehouse where we stored Military Arms was broken into. Could also be one of the many Federal Agencies I dealt with or a surprise audit at one of my offices. Even as I write this I still feel that know in my stomach. I cannot relax as I thought I would but given time I am sure that I will feel different. It is difficult to have serious responsibilities for 50 years and then wake up one morning and forget all of the things that can and have gone wrong in the past.


I have been retired for 10 years now and I still have dreams of work!! I call them nightmares!!


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## TonyK (Jul 2, 2018)

Get out of Dodge for a while.


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## Vega_Lyra (Jul 2, 2018)

Best wishes on your next adventure . Happy retirement !


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## Meanderer (Jul 2, 2018)

It wasn't a surprise retirement was it?  You should be able to make the adjustment.


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## Lara (Jul 2, 2018)

Vinny said:


> ...I still have that knot in my stomach that at any minute...
> a. someone was going to call me with a problem or an alert that the network was down
> b. notified that one of our secure warehouse where we stored Military Arms was broken into
> c. one of the many Federal Agencies I dealt with or a surprise audit at one of my offices
> ...


Awww, Vinny. This is so hard to let go of. It's almost like PTSD...not that you have that but it's hard like that. 

Are you receiving some counseling for "all of the things that can and have gone wrong in the past" and perhaps something like medical marijuana or anxiety meds that seem to help many with ptsd? Maybe a routine of meditation and/or prayer. 

I know prayer is not for everyone but for me personally may I just share that prayer helped me with nightmares from past trauma and stress. They are completely gone now after 3 or 4 nights of prayer for God to wash my heart, brain, insides, and thoughts, clean. To bind the devil from doing his evil work in my dreams and thoughts. And to renew me inside and to then fill the clean "me" with his holy spirit (our helper). I haven't had a nightmare since. 

But my trauma and stress may not be as deep as yours so I encourage you to just remain fervant in your method of healing that you choose...but know it will eventually help you. You're lucky to have a loving wife and dog. That helps a lot. Peace and love :love_heart:


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## SpicyTweed (Jul 2, 2018)

I suggest starting some new, relaxing routines.  For example, going for a long walk with your dog in the early mornings.  Taking your wife out to lunch at least once a week; it needn't be to expensive places.  You and your wife (and your dog, too, if you wish) go for drives in the country, maybe take a picnic lunch to eat when you find that perfect spot to stop.  Reading in bed for a while before lights out can be relaxing.  Give a lot of your more work-related clothes away to charity.  There are countless options, as well as hobbies to pursue.  How about you and your wife signing up for ballroom dancing classes?  This is a good time to plan a holiday trip, one you've put off for too long.

Be patient with yourself.  Retirement can be a shock to the system.  In time, you WILL adapt and learn to enjoy a more relaxed lifestyle, doing only the things you desire.


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## RadishRose (Jul 2, 2018)

Those are great ideas! Maybe ask your wife to make  "Honey Do" list for you. layful:


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## maggiemae (Jul 2, 2018)

Vinny, it's all about changing your routine.  When I retired two years ago, I felt elated but displaced in a strange way. After working so many years, it felt strange not to be getting up early in the morning and being in the awful traffic to get to work.  But you adjust and I can bet a year from now you will have a different attitude about it all!  Just ease into it gradually!


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## Gary O' (Jul 2, 2018)

when you wake up like that again

make pancakes


make sure the thickness is to yer liking, when pouring 

watch the little bubbles happen thru the batter


it'll take yer mind off things

aaaand

you'll have pancakes


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## Vinny (Jul 2, 2018)

SeaBreeze said:


> Well, waking up to an alarm didn't help.   You will lose the knot and be able to relax in due time, it won't happen overnight especially with the position you had.  I think you'll unwind slowly....try to relax and enjoy now, you deserve it! :sunglass:



The alarm was on my phone and set to go off on work days automatically. Forgot to turn it off. Still thinking that the day of the week matters when it does not. I helped my wife around the house and made her happy.


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## Meanderer (Jul 3, 2018)

Vinny, remember that you are now in touch with folks who are *Living Proof* that retirement is the icing on the cake!


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## Knight (Jul 3, 2018)

Think about what you wrote in your post for this thread.

a problem or an alert that the network was down, a warehouse broken into or a surprise audit.

Being a responsible problem solver for most of your life doesn't magically go away overnight. There is a realization that what you used to do was important, now it isn't FOR YOU. The reality is someone else will step in and may have difficulty at 1st. but like you became the go to guy. So your new responsiblity is to learn how to relax, forget work & enjoy this phase of your life. 

A good beginning.
Quote
"I helped my wife around the house and made her happy." 

The secret to a happy retirement if married is to do what you just did.


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## OneEyedDiva (Jul 3, 2018)

It's an adjustment for sure. But think about the positive aspects...nothing to have to feel responsible for, especially when things go wrong. No fighting traffic or beating deadlines (if you had them).  Find something you really enjoy doing and DO IT.  The main thing is to keep active the best way you can and not be sitting around the house all the time. Tony suggest "get out of dodge"..That might not be such a bad idea. Go on vacation and take a crash course in relaxation while you're there.

I visited my office several times during the first few months I was retired. I had an "excuse". I sold aromatherapy products on the side and had customers at work. But I'd go into my office (there were several departments/offices in the building) and chat with my former work family. I went less and less and finally "weaned" myself off of doing it. BUT I was ecstatic to be retired.  I had planned it for about 2 years and couldn't wait. In fact, I retired a year ahead of schedule. Not having to get up and go to work was a dream come true. I used to be *so not* a morning person. I hope you can take the good elements of being a retiree and enjoy it. *Congratulations!*


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## MarkBonner (Jul 4, 2018)

Vinny, what you're feeling is completely normal. I eventually realised that I needed 3 things to make me happy - challenges to keep my brain active (hobby or business related puzzle to solve), giving back (to folks who need help in your community) and plain old fun (with friends, family, ...). Sometimes I can combine 2 or more together but if I'm missing any of them I don't feel right.

As many of the wise folks on this thread have already said, it will take time - but you will discover a new world as another chapter of your life unfolds.


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## moviequeen1 (Jul 4, 2018)

Hi Vinny,getting into a new routine will help,but its going to take your body awhile,wait and see
It took me 6-8 months not to get up at 5:30a the 3 days I had to be at work.Once I got adjusted to sleeping in ,I was a 'happy camper' still am after 7 yrs
I used to walk 8 blocks to work,when we had our 1st snowfall in '12{I retired in March '11},that's when it really hit me, I didn't have to walk in the dark on unshoveled sidewalks to get there. Enjoy your retirement Sue


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## MarkBonner (Jul 4, 2018)

Sue - you are spot on with the routine - especially one that includes healthy elements such as a reasonable diet, some exercise and a good night's sleep. That makes a nice launch pad for all the stuff you'll now have time for. Mark


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