# Why is my child so bright when I'm so stupid?



## grahamg (Jun 29, 2020)

We all think our own children are a cut above the rest, but in my case, (and considering just how foolish or thick I've been all my life), how is it possible my own child is just so smart?
She's been pretty much ahead of the game from the start, arriving a couple of weeks early, passing almost every milestone without a hitch, and even speaking sense when just a toddler waking up in the night crying, and her foolish dad said, "You're alright", only to be told by the little girl in his arms: "there must be something the matter"! You cant argue with that can you!    .

Anyway, she was pretty much top in her school year, did a bit of "wheeler dealing" or showing business acumen by charging her friends a premium on items she'd bought in the shops, achieved great things at college, has toured different parts of the globe and was quite ready to join the rat race when the need arose, seemingly without difficulty.

Besides all the boasting I'm obviously doing, there is a rub, as there always is, though I wont bore you with anything negative here, just question how on earth does a stupid person become blessed with a smart kid like this? What is going on, how can it happen?   .
BTW lets rule out "something" less charitable members might wish to suggest, because she is definitely mine, (and we'll all keep everything above board now please!).


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## Camper6 (Jun 29, 2020)

To answer your question. Children inherit genes from their grandparents as well as parents.


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## Lizzie00 (Jun 29, 2020)

So maybe an every other generation thing in this case?
Hmmmmmm.....


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## Pinky (Jun 29, 2020)

Education and teaching methods have changed since we were in school. I think that gives each new generation an advantage over the previous generation.


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## Pepper (Jun 29, 2020)

The luck of the draw.

My grandson looks like my dad, blond & blue-eyed.  His mother's family are all Southern Italian.  My son took after his dad, a Native American.  All dark, brown-eyed people.  Her parents can't stand our grandson an almost exact throw-back to my dad!  Ha Ha.   I never thought I'd see those Blue Eyes again but they're Back!

People just are.  They may inherit stuff, but they have their own unique stuff going on too.  I'm happy for you graham.


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## Sassycakes (Jun 29, 2020)

*I can't answer that because my oldest grandson tells everyone he got his brains from me. He graduated college a year ago. When he started college he as studying Bio Medical Engineering . I said "Oh my God I am happy I don't need to do homework with you anymore." He said  "Gram I got my best marks when you helped me with homework." I did do homework with him and his younger brother everyday after school when they were young. They both got full 4 yr scholarships to college. I still can't imagine he got his grades because of my help. Heck I don't even have a brain ! *


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## asp3 (Jun 29, 2020)

I read something not too long ago that seemed to suggest that intelligence is passed on more from the mother's side than the father's side.  So that might be one of the factors in your daughter's perceived intelligence.

Also there are certain factors in nutrition, environment and family dynamics that can affect a child's intelligence so your daughter might have the right circumstances in her life that maximized her reaching her potential intelligence whereas you may have had factors that reduced the level of intelligence you could achieve even though you were genetically favored to have a higher level of intelligence.

Another thing to consider is you might be attributing intelligence to things which are more related to drive, dedication, persistence and passion.  There are many people who are not well above the norm in intelligence who are able to achieve great things through the way they approach life and it's challenges.

Have you and she taken online intelligence tests or do you have the results of intelligence tests yourself from earlier periods you can compare with her results?

I think the bottom line is that as a parent you can be proud that you raised a child into an adult who is so impressive.  She appears to be very accomplished and you seem to appreciate the person she's become.  There's a lot to say for that and I think you're both fortunate to have each other.


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## asp3 (Jun 29, 2020)

I just had another thought.  Even though we as parents have a great deal to do with our children's eventual success as adults sometimes it's their teachers who have a lot of influence on them.  Sometimes a teacher is able to recognize things we as parents don't see or don't understand about our children and are able to help them realize a greater potential than we would have been able to do on our own.  Most teachers take a fair number of child development classes so that they have the latest information on how to best work with all types of children.


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## Camper6 (Jun 29, 2020)

It's all random luck in the universe when it comes to brains.

Geniuses like Einstein are born bright. History is full of them.


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## grahamg (Jun 29, 2020)

asp3 said:


> I read something not too long ago that seemed to suggest that intelligence is passed on more from the mother's side than the father's side.  So that might be one of the factors in your daughter's perceived intelligence. Also there are certain factors in nutrition, environment and family dynamics that can affect a child's intelligence so your daughter might have the right circumstances in her life that maximized her reaching her potential intelligence whereas you may have had factors that reduced the level of intelligence you could achieve even though you were genetically favored to have a higher level of intelligence. Another thing to consider is you might be attributing intelligence to things which are more related to drive, dedication, persistence and passion.  There are many people who are not well above the norm in intelligence who are able to achieve great things through the way they approach life and it's challenges. Have you and she taken online intelligence tests or do you have the results of intelligence tests yourself from earlier periods you can compare with her results?
> 
> I think the bottom line is that as a parent you can be proud that you raised a child into an adult who is so impressive.  She appears to be very accomplished and you seem to appreciate the person she's become.  There's a lot to say for that and I think you're both fortunate to have each other.


Thanks for your very nice and quite funny comments about the ex. she'd love that info. maybe I've aped up the dumb thing a tad, cos I'm quite hot on intelligence tests, if they mean all that much, but I agree with the things you've said about what makes some folks reach their potential too.  .


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## grahamg (Jun 29, 2020)

Pinky said:


> Education and teaching methods have changed since we were in school. I think that gives each new generation an advantage over the previous generation.


You'd hope that was the case of course, but I felt so very lucky in my school days because of many things. The quality of all the teachers I encountered, almost all of whom experienced the war, and I'd guess this only made them more dedicated and responsible, as I guess too, wartime makes people grow up quickly, and understand social issues well, (we all needed one another then didn't we).

Can I just add the words putting me straight coming from the mouth of my very young child were not,  "There must be something the matter", but " There must be something", (in response to me telling her she was alright when she woke up crying, and I said, "There's nothing the matter!"- just wanted to be precise, as my recollection wasn't perfect thirty five years on).   .


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## grahamg (Jun 29, 2020)

Camper6 said:


> It's all random luck in the universe when it comes to brains.
> 
> Geniuses like Einstein are born bright. History is full of them.


I'm sure luck plays a very big part in things, but there remains a slight possibility some kind of insight, or intuition plays a part in whoever you might choose to create a child with, especially where you're married, (though not exclusively so I accept, because "cupids arrow" should it exist, and to use an odd phrase, can hit you whenever it chooses perhaps!).    .


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## Camper6 (Jun 30, 2020)

Pick whoever you want. There's no guarantee. Your brother might be smart but not you. You can check Gregor Mendele's experiment with peas for tall and short peas and dominant and recessive genes. It's the same for sports figures.

Mendel chose to use peas for his experiments due to their many distinct varieties, and because offspring could be quickly and easily produced. He cross-fertilized pea plants that had clearly opposite characteristics—tall with short, smooth with wrinkled, those containing green seeds with those containing yellow seeds, etc.—and, after analyzing his results, reached two of his most important conclusions: the Law of Segregation, which established that there are dominant and recessive traits passed on randomly from parents to offspring (and provided an alternative to blending inheritance, the dominant theory of the time), and the Law of Independent Assortment, which established that traits were passed on independently of other traits from parent to offspring. He also proposed that this heredity followed basic statistical laws. Though Mendel’s experiments had been conducted with pea plants, he put forth the theory that all living things had such traits.


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## grahamg (Jun 30, 2020)

Camper6 said:


> Pick whoever you want. There's no guarantee. Your brother might be smart but not you. You can check Gregor Mendele's experiment with peas for tall and short peas and dominant and recessive genes. It's the same for sports figures.
> 
> Mendel chose to use peas for his experiments due to their many distinct varieties, and because offspring could be quickly and easily produced. He cross-fertilized pea plants that had clearly opposite characteristics—tall with short, smooth with wrinkled, those containing green seeds with those containing yellow seeds, etc.—and, after analyzing his results, reached two of his most important conclusions: the Law of Segregation, which established that there are dominant and recessive traits passed on randomly from parents to offspring (and provided an alternative to blending inheritance, the dominant theory of the time), and the Law of Independent Assortment, which established that traits were passed on independently of other traits from parent to offspring. He also proposed that this heredity followed basic statistical laws. Though Mendel’s experiments had been conducted with pea plants, he put forth the theory that all living things had such traits.


Ahead of his time by a good deal, and a funny thing discovered long afterwards, many centuries perhaps, was that Mendel allowed himself to introduce some bias into his scientific recordings, making the ratios fit his theory slightly better than they would have done had he recorded everything 100% accurately, (statistically I think they proved this, that there was bound to be more variability than he recorded because of the influence of chance factors). I'm a fan of evolutionary theory in all its aspects.

The science of genetics has moved on a great deal since then obviously, and one striking discovery is that some traits can be passed between generations regardless of their genes, in very limited circumstances though. Two identical individuals having 100% the same DNA can display differences caused by trauma in the womb, lets say, and as a result exhibit different susceptibilities to diseases generally liked to genetics, (one showing the disease and the other not showing symptoms of the disease!).   .


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## Warrigal (Jun 30, 2020)

grahamg said:


> We all think our own children are a cut above the rest, but in my case, (and considering just how foolish or thick I've been all my life), how is it possible my own child is just so smart?
> She's been pretty much ahead of the game from the start, arriving a couple of weeks early, passing almost every milestone without a hitch, and even speaking sense when just a toddler waking up in the night crying, and her foolish dad said, "You're alright", only to be told by the little girl in his arms: "there must be something the matter"! You cant argue with that can you!    .
> 
> Anyway, she was pretty much top in her school year, did a bit of "wheeler dealing" or showing business acumen by charging her friends a premium on items she'd bought in the shops, achieved great things at college, has toured different parts of the globe and was quite ready to join the rat race when the need arose, seemingly without difficulty.
> ...


It is said that high intelligence is mostly likely to be passed down via the female line. Can't quote the source of this information but I will try to find a reference.

Found this - not the most definitive source but it might help answer your question

*



			If you are breeding for a high IQ is it more important that the male or female have a high IQ?
		
Click to expand...

*


> Kris Munro, Grad Dip Education & Psychology, Edith Cowan University (2007)
> https://www.quora.com/If-you-are-br...ortant-that-the-male-or-female-have-a-high-IQ
> 
> It used to thought that the mother was primarily responsible for a child’s intelligence. However, more recent (and more compelling) studies suggest that both parents play a part in passing on the genes related to intelligence. The second link has sub-links with the actual studies that support this claim.
> ...


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## Camper6 (Jun 30, 2020)

grahamg said:


> Ahead of his time by a good deal, and a funny thing discovered long afterwards, many centuries perhaps, was that Mendel allowed himself to introduce some bias into his scientific recordings, making the ratios fit his theory slightly better than they would have done had he recorded everything 100% accurately, (statistically I think they proved this, that there was bound to be more variability than he recorded because of the influence of chance factors). I'm a fan of evolutionary theory in all its aspects.
> 
> The science of genetics has moved on a great deal since then obviously, and one striking discovery is that some traits can be passed between generations regardless of their genes, in very limited circumstances though. Two identical individuals having 100% the same DNA can display differences caused by trauma in the womb, lets say, and as a result exhibit different susceptibilities to diseases generally liked to genetics, (one showing the disease and the other not showing symptoms of the disease!).   .


Nature does not like sameness in individuals. No two humans are completely alike even twins. There's probably a good reason for this. A disease could wipe out everyone.


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## grahamg (Jun 30, 2020)

Warrigal said:


> It is said that high intelligence is mostly likely to be passed down via the female line. Can't quote the source of this information but I will try to find a reference.
> Found this - not the most definitive source but it might help answer your question


Thanks for the link, I'll check it out when I have chance later.

I have a maybe controversial theory of my own, (if any of our ideas can be truly described as original?). It is this, that if there were "someone up there" deciding where very gifted children might best be born, in order to bring out their abilities perhaps, or allow them the freedom to express them without interference, then maybe finding a father or mother, then those parents might be where the gifted child appears. 
Obviously some extremely gifted children are born to parents, where both of them can be seen to have very high IQs, and still retain the ability or tolerance to see their gifted child through all the trauma's and wayward tendencies some children encounter, or get themselves into. However, I can see an issue, where the parents are both maybe very strong characters, or else lack the nurturing skills, should they have a gifted child to raise.

Just my twopennyworth anyway, I do have some cousins who are very strong minded and talented people, who have had visited upon them the trauma of losing both their parents at a young age. Then one of them has had a child (or grandchild?), suffer an appalling injury and will now be wheelchair bound for the rest of his life. I very much doubt I could have coped with such a number of very difficult situation to deal with, and yet they continue to be as good and warm, and giving people, as ever they were, inspite of all these troubles.


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## old medic (Jun 30, 2020)

Our Grandson is 8, and we always thought he was smarter than the average kid....
Before he could walk he could pick out certain letters.... Had 1 foot square letters he would hit or sit on,,,
P for Pop N for Nanna, M for Mommy ect.... Had half the alphabet down...
But we also noticed Obsessive behaviors... He would line up his cars... and you could move one, or turn it around
and when he came back, in seconds he would spot it... and some times throw a fit....
When he started school the teachers noticed he was more advanced, and that he would get frustrated easily....
Last year after some behavior issues he got a series of testing done.....
His IQ at 7 was scored at 116.... and they say its most likely higher because he didn't finish the full test...
He is very observant and dont miss much.... quick witted and funny too...
His mom got him some new sandals.... he come out of his room wearing shorts, socks and the sandals...
she says " why are you wearing socks... it makes you look like an old man"....
He yells at her..... " GET OUT OF MY YARD"......


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## Warrigal (Jun 30, 2020)

I did a post graduate course in gifted and talented education.

Several points of interest - intelligence is more than a score on an IQ test.
There are forms of intelligence that cannot be measured by a pen and paper test, for example emotional intelligence associated with caring professions or creative intelligence, physical prowess or leadership potential.

Highly intelligent girls tend to hide their ability to better fit in with a social group. Very exceptional children find it hard to fit in with their age peers and seek friendship with older children or adults.

It is possible to be intellectually intelligent yet suffer from a learning disability such as dyslexia or a physical disability such as deafness. Such children tend to be labelled more by their disability than their giftedness.

Highly intelligent children can be found in every culture and race. Many are overlooked and are denied opportunity to develop their gifts into talents.

The worst outcome for society is a highly intelligent individual who is stunted in his/her moral development.  The stereotype of an evil genius is quite real.


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## old medic (Jun 30, 2020)

Warrigal said:


> Very exceptional children find it hard to fit in with their age peers and seek friendship with older children or adults.


Thats our Grandson.....


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## Camper6 (Jun 30, 2020)

There is one factor which I would like to mention. Television.
A great learning experience which is fairly recent.
I remember the first snow in our city. I took my son to the window. He turned to me and said "Dad, it's winter". How did he know that without having gone through a winter before?


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## grahamg (Jun 30, 2020)

Warrigal said:


> It is said that high intelligence is mostly likely to be passed down via the female line. Can't quote the source of this information but I will try to find a reference.
> Found this - not the most definitive source but it might help answer your question


I have really managed to check out only one of your links unfortunately, but it was the one indicated by "both parents" highlighted in blue. Another gave me a brief glimpse of a newspaper report only, and the one I've seen debunks the first asserting it is women who pass on intelligence, "more or less", I think I've got a fair picture now, (thanks again).     .


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## grahamg (Jun 30, 2020)

Is it time for a photo interlude, or to provide some evidence?


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## Keesha (Jun 30, 2020)

Cute kid but you shoulda had dogs.


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## grahamg (Jun 30, 2020)

Keesha said:


> Cute kid but you shoulda had dogs.


Cant we have both, (or I have both, as I like dogs plenty!)?     ☃.


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## Keesha (Jun 30, 2020)

grahamg said:


> Cant we have both, (or I have both, as I like dogs plenty!)?     ☃.


I’m glad you didn’t take my post seriously, except the child really IS adorable. Yes you definitely CAN have both and I bet those two together can be like a place  in heaven at times.


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## grahamg (Jun 30, 2020)

Keesha said:


> I’m glad you didn’t take my post seriously, except the child really IS adorable. Yes you definitely CAN have both and I bet those two together can be like a place  in heaven at times.
> ❤


Lets have another look shall we, (cue chance for everyone to say how much like dad she looks!   ).


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## JaniceM (Jun 30, 2020)

Pinky said:


> Education and teaching methods have changed since we were in school. I think that gives each new generation an advantage over the previous generation.



It might give them an edge-  but it's not worth it.  There's too much emphasis on academic education in the early years, at the expense of "childhood."


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## JaniceM (Jun 30, 2020)

grahamg said:


> Lets have another look shall we, (cue chance for everyone to say how much like dad she looks!   ).
> 
> View attachment 111685View attachment 111686


What a beautiful little child!!!  Yours??


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## grahamg (Jun 30, 2020)

JaniceM said:


> What a beautiful little child!!!  Yours??


No, you're supposed to say just how much like me she looks!   .
(actually, though you cant see my eyes, its around the eyes where the likeness is I believe).


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## grahamg (Jun 30, 2020)

Keesha said:


> I’m glad you didn’t take my post seriously, except the child really IS adorable. Yes you definitely CAN have both and I bet those two together can be like a place  in heaven at times.
> ❤


My daughter didn't like dogs strangely enough, (her mother's influence again!!!   ).
You wont believe what that sweet innocent looking girl's had to say about all the dogs in the world, (so I wont tell you, but think really extreme scenario!  ).


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## grahamg (Jun 30, 2020)

Here is a better chance to compare (and see the likeness!!!!!!!!!!   ).


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## grahamg (Jun 30, 2020)

I wont start a new thread for him, but my father would have been 100 years old today, if he'd lived four more years, here he is with a photo of me not at my best, my daughter and another cutie!


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## peppermint (Jun 30, 2020)

grahamg said:


> I wont start a new thread for him, but my father would have been 100 years old today, if he'd lived four more years, here he is with a photo of me not at my best, my daughter and another cutie!
> 
> View attachment 111690


Very Sweet...All of you...♥


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## peppermint (Jun 30, 2020)

I know my kids took after my husband....They got his 'Smarts"....  I'm the talker and the savior.. for my kids...They can't do no wrong....HaHa...
Anyway....we have a girl and a boy...They are both married with their kids....When they were young they would go to my husband to ask him
to help them with their subject they had from school....I have to say, my husband is smart.....He only graduated High School....No College...
His parents didn't have the money....So Hubby did it all by himself....We were married at 20 years old....
Hubby was working in NYC....At that time you didn't have to have a college degree...He didn't need it....He was the new one when
he started learning....the new language...He took home books every night and learned all by himself...He didn't have time to go to college.
The company took him cause he was smart....There is more of the story....He is retired and now had many surgeries...
Open Heart Surgery and The Nasty, CANCER....


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## JaniceM (Jun 30, 2020)

Well, the way I always explained it-  "My kids got my brain.. it's not as if I was using it very much.."


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## Camper6 (Jun 30, 2020)

grahamg said:


> Here is a better chance to compare (and see the likeness!!!!!!!!!!   ).
> 
> View attachment 111688


Nope no resemblance.  I'm in the same boat.  Dark complexion.  My son was born fair skin with red hair.  Definitely the mother's side of the family.  My mother was very blunt when I asked her if he looked like me.  She said "only in the pee pee".


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## grahamg (Jun 30, 2020)

Camper6 said:


> Nope no resemblance.  I'm in the same boat.  Dark complexion.  My son was born fair skin with red hair.  Definitely the mother's side of the family.  My mother was very blunt when I asked her if he looked like me.  She said "only in the pee pee".


"Harsh but fair" or simply "no judge"?

I think it is certainly true to say so many traits from the maternal side predominate, though not hair colour, (my ex.'s hair was very dark). I consider myself a fairly good judge when it comes to likenesses of other people's children to their parents, but find it hard to judge my own child's likeness or otherwise. The fair hair comes from my mother though, as none of the other grandparents had fair hair, and her maternal grandmother was going moderately bald by fifty too, so my daughter will have to hope she doesn't inherit that characteristic).   .


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## JaniceM (Jun 30, 2020)

I almost never see a resemblance between parents/kids, or between siblings.


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## Camper6 (Jun 30, 2020)

grahamg said:


> "Harsh but fair" or simply "no judge"?
> 
> I think it is certainly true to say so many traits from the maternal side predominate, though not hair colour, (my ex.'s hair was very dark). I consider myself a fairly good judge when it comes to likenesses of other people's children to their parents, but find it hard to judge my own child's likeness or otherwise. The fair hair comes from my mother though, as none of the other grandparents had fair hair, and her maternal grandmother was going moderately bald by fifty too, so my daughter will have to hope she doesn't inherit that characteristic).   .


Baldness is definitely an inherited trait.  I still have all my hair.  My son is bald. I remember the maternal side of the grandmother wearing a wig.


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## Camper6 (Jun 30, 2020)

JaniceM said:


> I almost never see a resemblance between parents/kids, or between siblings.


If you are going to see it at all it's in the older generations.  I look like my father was at the same age.


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## JaniceM (Jun 30, 2020)

Camper6 said:


> Baldness is definitely an inherited trait.  I still have all my hair.  My son is bald. I remember the maternal side of the grandmother wearing a wig.



What about baldness that doesn't occur naturally?  
I'm guessing that would be different?  

(Thinking of a distant relative who started losing his hair because, when he heard popular musicians 'bleached' their hair, he decided to try it-  using Clorox...)


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## Camper6 (Jun 30, 2020)

JaniceM said:


> What about baldness that doesn't occur naturally?
> I'm guessing that would be different?
> 
> (Thinking of a distant relative who started losing his hair because, when he heard popular musicians 'bleached' their hair, he decided to try it-  using Clorox...)


Bleach is pretty powerful stuff.  Probably killed the roots.  I doubt popular musicians used Clorox.
Probably had it done by professional stylists.


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## JaniceM (Jun 30, 2020)

Camper6 said:


> Bleach is pretty powerful stuff.  Probably killed the roots.  I doubt popular musicians used Clorox.
> Probably had it done by professional stylists.


Oh, I'm sure the musicians took the sensible approach...  but this guy wasn't too bright...  resulting in a receding hairline while still in high school.


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## grahamg (Jul 1, 2020)

JaniceM said:


> Oh, I'm sure the musicians took the sensible approach...  but this guy wasn't too bright...  resulting in a receding hairline while still in high school.


"Returning to my theory", posted some way back, being smarter than the average must by definition almost, confer benefits to the individuals involved, so why are there so many stupid people like me in the world?

Why has not however many generations there's been going back to Adam and Eve, (or early hominids?), resulted in only smart people being around? What evolutionary advantage is conferred on us stupid people, " keeping us in the game"?

My theory is that us rather slow people, nonetheless provide our child with a greater chance to shine, because they're not having to try too hard to match up to us thickies! We're maybe more tolerant when they make the inevitable mistakes young people make as they learn, whilst ultra clever parents find it harder to accept their children's errors, or errant ways. I used to think any mildly negative things my daughter did or said, were her "going through a phase", and I still hold that's a good approach to child rearing, when they won't behave, (or want to wind you up somehow).     .


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## Warrigal (Jul 1, 2020)

Why do you put yourself down, Graham? 
Academic smarts are not the only indicators of intelligence.

My daughter was fairly average at school and her brother was quite gifted in the mathematical/logical intelligence subjects. However, daughter was seen as gifted in the social/emotional area. She went on to be a nurse, and son became a computer programmer/systems analyst with a Masters in web design. He became a manager, drank too much, left his wife and contemplated suicide. 

Daughter has been a rock to her family, raised 4 kids, one intellectually disabled, one extremely intelligent and two pretty normal young ladies, one now a mother, the other has a Masters in Music Therapy but she is still hopeless at maths. 

Daughter is now NUM of a facial/dental surgical unit at a major hospital in Sydney while son bums around in a country town as a maintenance man fixing computers and computerised equipment at a country hospital. Both are happy in their work and in their lives, so what actually is intelligence? It doesn't guarantee happiness any more than beauty does.

Believe me when I tell you that you are intelligent in your own way, just as I am in mine.


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## Camper6 (Jul 1, 2020)

In the old days we used to call that "street smarts".


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## grahamg (Jul 1, 2020)

Warrigal said:


> Why do you put yourself down, Graham?
> Academic smarts are not the only indicators of intelligence.
> 
> My daughter was fairly average at school and her brother was quite gifted in the mathematical/logical intelligence subjects. However, daughter was seen as gifted in the social/emotional area. She went on to be a nurse, and son became a computer programmer/systems analyst with a Masters in web design. He became a manager, drank too much, left his wife and contemplated suicide.
> ...


I think you may have missed this comment made in my second post in the thread, quote:_"..maybe I've aped up the dumb thing a tad, cos I'm quite hot on intelligence tests, (if they mean all that much),......."_

In addition I do seriously believe, that compared to my daughter the differences are stark, so its perhaps fair for me to "ape up the dumb thing", as I so inelegantly put it, and it frees my arm to bring up my broader thoughts about the types of people we're drawn to, and why they might choose to have s child with us, which is equally intriguing!   .
BTW you obviously fit into the smart parent/smart child category, and I'm not arguing there aren't many of those too.


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## grahamg (Jul 2, 2020)

Some expert opinion:

https://www.ft.com/content/ddc45bbe-4ac4-11e7-a3f4-c742b9791d43

"High-achieving couples are often puzzled when they have one smart offspring and others who are less so. They ponder the question, our children all have our (superior) genes, we brought them all up the same way, how come Samantha and Boris are so much less intelligent than Julia? This reasoning has two flaws 

It is obvious why, when you stop to think about it. Mothers or fathers do not give equal amounts of love in the early years. How parents relate to the birth order and gender of each child also has a big effect. Each child lives in a micro-environment with very different requirements. In seeking niches that attract material and loving parental attention, they work hard to differentiate themselves as being clever or loveable, even stupid (being unthreatening can be a safe niche)." 

Break
"For instance, with four children under five, of which I was the third, my mother could be pretty ratty. But, most importantly, I was the only boy. Purely because of being male, my father related quite differently to me than he did with my sisters, and had far higher academic aspirations for me. This is not to say that biology plays no part in individual differences. What happens during the pregnancy can be important. Premature birth, low birth weight and birth complications also increase risk for childhood problems. 

This is not to say that biology plays no part in individual differences. What happens during the pregnancy can be important. Premature birth, low birth weight and birth complications also increase risk for childhood problems."


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