# Do You Make Friends Easily?



## Gardenlover (Jan 5, 2020)

Akin to the introvert/extrovert thread, but I didn’t want to derail it.

How many close friends do you have?

Is it important to make new friends as we age?

I don’t make new friends quickly, currently most are a bit younger than me. I think it’s important to have at least a couple close friends.


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## Aunt Bea (Jan 5, 2020)

I only have one that is still living.

All of my true friendships were established before I was thirty-five years old.  

At this point in my life, I would be content with establishing a few new social contacts.


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## Gary O' (Jan 5, 2020)

Gardenlover said:


> How many close friends do you have?


I consider two as 'close'
One in Alaska (since high school)
One in Wyoming (for twenty or so years...we started out as enemies)

All others I consider acquaintances
I like it that way


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## Wren (Jan 5, 2020)

Same as Gary, I have a couple of extremely close, long standing friends, more like sisters, who I would trust with my life, a few others I enjoy spending  time with

I can chat, laugh and get along with people but I’ve been betrayed too many times to trust them


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## Catlady (Jan 5, 2020)

My sister was always an extrovert and made friends easily when young.   I was actually jealous of her because I'm an introvert and loner and have never had any ''close friends''.  But, when she got older she had none and complained that it was hard to make friends when you get older.  On the other hand, I've heard people call others friends that I would only call an acquaintance.  One guy called a woman a ''friend'', and she was only a bank teller that he spoke to once a week when cashing his check, only because they chatted during the transaction.


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## Catlady (Jan 5, 2020)

Gary O' said:


> One in Wyoming (for twenty or so years...*we started out as enemies*)



THAT is amazing!  Care to tell us how or why you made the 180 degree turn?  Sounds like a very interesting story.


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## Gary O' (Jan 5, 2020)

Catlady said:


> Care to tell us how or why you made the 180 degree turn?


We were initial bitter foes on a poster sight, where all we did was make demotivational posters.
I miss the hell outa that place.
In the '90s several motivational posters sprung up here and there, in offices mostly
Like this one









Well, that site did the counterpart





It was rigorously competitive, and richly rewarding
And the mostly 20-30 somethings put up with this grizzled geezer

This veteran guy, and newbie I, became rabid antagonists
We got to making posters *at *each other
Everyone got a kick outa our little creative skirmishes
The competition became a bit fierce
Eventually we got bored with it all and joined forces, admiring each other's work
(He was a god at it...still is)
The site went belly up
We kept in touch
Nothing like daily or anything
Once a month, maybe
But good stuff
Always good stuff

Recently I sent him a birdhouse
He sent me an exquisite creation of his

He's exquisite at everything

....starting to feel resurrected hate well up


Maybe just one friend is enough


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## Catlady (Jan 5, 2020)

"We'll this guy became a bit of an antagonist 
We got to making posters *at *each other "

Sounds like a *graphic* debate to me.  LOL

Oh, don't give him up, you can't punch him from far away.   It's only once a month, you have 29 days to get over the hate.


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## Gary O' (Jan 5, 2020)

Catlady said:


> Oh, don't give him up, you can't punch him from far away. It's only once a month, you have 29 days to get over the hate.


Actually, I love him

We've shared much
Brotherhood is like that

We wouldn't die for each other
But we *would* kill for each other


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## Ronni (Jan 5, 2020)

I have a lot of friends including my adult children who are amongst my best friends, particularly my daughter.  There are also  a couple of very dear friends I’ve had all my adult life. We can go for months and not be in touch, then one or other of us will pick up the phone and it’s as if no time at all has passed. It’s always been that way.

Plus I have a dozen or more close friends, some through dance, some through work, some through my abuse recovery, one as a result of my son’s addiction recovery, plus numerous others that I would consider more acquaintances.

It’s so wonderful to be in touch with these folks through multiple sources....social media, groups or forum sites that we’re on or that I’ve created to stay in touch, weekly dance stuff, etc. Lots of outlets through which to cultivate and maintain these friendships.

My personal philosophy is that one can never have too many friends and so I’m always open to making new ones.


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## Lvstotrvl (Jan 5, 2020)

My husband was my best friend, people warned me it was a bad idea that I should have some women friends, I had 2 when I lived in FL but since I moved away I’ve had no interest. I have a family of girls n we all get along n do a lot of things together so for now I’m happy with that!


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## RadishRose (Jan 5, 2020)

I have 4 close friends from childhood and high school, but none of us get out a lot anymore especially when it snows. Lunches once in a awhile, and phone calls mostly.

Yes, I think it's important to make friends as we age as well as at any other time during life.


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## StarSong (Jan 5, 2020)

I have many friends and acquaintances of varying degrees of closeness.  Family aside, two are the kind of bosom buddies who would stop everything in their lives and come to my aid if need be, and I'd do the same.


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## Lc jones (Jan 5, 2020)

Two close friends but my husband is my best friend and I trust him completely.


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## CrackerJack (Jan 5, 2020)

I do make friends easily more as I grew up and went to work. I always had a best friend at school and never went around in groups and was a one to oner.

Analysing myself I tend to be possessive with people I become friends with and get jealous if they take their attention away from me..a bit hard to explain but maybe a bit of inbuilt insecurity as I want to be foremost in the close friends hearts and resent if not being top of the list....lol.

I have very good friends harking back years and all over the UK. Joint friends me and my Hubby made over decades and still about now he had passed on and these I value alot.

Women friends Ive made online and we stick together despite moving on with forums.
I did have a bad experience in the 80's with a couple of work colleagues who I thought were friends and one turned out to be a snake in the grass, a viper I took to my bosom but that one got a very swift heave-ho and it toughened me up and now cautious who I befriend and who seeks my friendship. Got a few really good online buddies and we keep intouch in the ether and that's the great thing about the Net and some social media: it can broaden one's friendship arena  providing care is taken.

I am great friends with my close family my two Sons and FIL's and three GC..Love em all to bits


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## Pecos (Jan 5, 2020)

It is fairly easy for me to make friends, but close friends is another matter. I have three close friends.


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## Marlene (Jan 5, 2020)

I have a lot of acquaintances whom I really enjoy, but close friends with whom I feel save to be vulnerable is limited to two.


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## RadishRose (Jan 5, 2020)

Pecos said:


> It is fairly easy for me to make friends, but close friends is another matter. I have three close friends.


You are blessed @Pecos. I've read that many people are lucky to have 2 close friends and you have 3! Of course, I realize it isn't all luck, from the posts I've seen from you.


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## oldman (Jan 5, 2020)

I don’t let anyone get too close. I keep a tight boundary fence around me. I like privacy and I like to be the one who does the contacting, not the other way around. This is one of the reasons why my wife calls me a snob. I really do not have any close friends. I consider a “close friend” as someone that I would share anything going on in my life with. Not so. I enjoy my privacy, but I already said that. 

However, I am a friendly type of guy and I do enjoy talking with people and learning new things.


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## CinnamonSugar (Jan 5, 2020)

Wish I did make friends more easily but tend to be "socially awkward."  'Bout the time I think I've got it licked, I'll go and 'stick my foot in it' again.


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## Lc jones (Jan 5, 2020)

CinnamonSugar said:


> Wish I did make friends more easily but tend to be "socially awkward."  'Bout the time I think I've got it licked, I'll go and 'stick my foot in it' again.


That sounds like me!


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## Gardenlover (Jan 5, 2020)

Gary O' said:


> Actually, I love him
> 
> We've shared much
> Brotherhood is like that
> ...


Thanks for the belly laugh.


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## AnnieA (Jan 5, 2020)

I do make friends easily, but don't much care to anymore.  In addition to family, I have three close long-term friends.  We may go for spells of not talking or visiting often, but when we do, it's as though we're picking up on a conversation we just left off.


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## Gary O' (Jan 5, 2020)

Gardenlover said:


> Thanks for the belly laugh.


Here for ya, GL


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## treeguy64 (Jan 5, 2020)

I have six "friends" who go back to first grade, when we were six. They are too busy to take time to respond to my emails and texts, usually. I organized a reunion when we hit fifty, and it was pure magic. When we get together, we have a good time, but those get togethers are very few, and far between. With friends like them.........

I have a good buddy who was my first guitarist, at twelve. We played in a popular band for three years, as kids. We see each other every so often, but we talk on the phone about once a month, or so. 

My old high school buddy, college dorm mate, and roommate, later, is still a friend. We talk on the phone about three times a year. 

I have business acquaintances whom I see, socially, infrequently. 

An old band mate, in Austin, from forty years ago, is still a friend. We text a few times a year, and get together about three times a year. 

I'm still friends with my first (physical) 'love." We text a few times a year, and Janet and I get together with her and her husband when we're in Dallas. She's a great gal, still hot. 

I'm still friendly with both ex wives. 

I do not have a single good friend from my later years. I do chat with my longtime neighbors, for the last thirty years. All in all, I'm fine not having close friends. My pattern, set from the time I was about twelve, is to have a close female friend, and then people I pal around with, infrequently. No problems.


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## Ladybj (Jan 5, 2020)

I make friends easily being that I am a friendly person.... however, I have about 2 TRUE friends.  Things that we share with each other will go to our graves.  But I have several friends that I call or they call me.  I am very reluctant whom I allow in my circle... therefore, I am pretty satisfied with the friends I have made over the years. Once you have me as a friend, I am a friend as long as you allow me to be.


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## Llynn (Jan 5, 2020)

I think so. I'm a good listener (when I want to be) and that is what many people want from a friend. I find people interesting .


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## Robert59 (Jan 6, 2020)

I still have contact with my High school teacher and like meeting new people. One of my down sides is I talk to much.


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## Lakeland living (Jan 6, 2020)

Have 3 that I think of as good friends. None close by, the rest I consider as acquaintances.
My choice for many many years now.


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## win231 (Jan 6, 2020)

I don't make friends easily; I'm rather picky about people.
I have two married couples I've known for 35 years that I'm close to; that's about it.  I'd much rather have a few real friends than a bunch of "Fair-Weather" friends."


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## Catlady (Jan 6, 2020)

win231 said:


> I don't make friends easily; I'm rather picky about people.
> I have two married couples I've known for 35 years that I'm close to; that's about it.  *I'd much rather have a few real friends* than a bunch of "Fair-Weather" friends."


I agree, Win!  To me a real friend is someone that I can tell anything to and they won't talk behind my the back, will keep my secrets, and will tell me the raw truth rather than what I want to hear (not yes people).


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## toffee (Jan 6, 2020)

right from school always had friends - I have now 2 close girlfriends that live in another part of the country as I moved house 3yrs ago -we keep in touch - yes it is important to have a friend some people say I dont need a friend but I believe we all need one at least
in our lives ...


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## Ruthanne (Jan 6, 2020)

Many of the friends I had have passed on-they were much older than me at the time.  I have some acquaintances where I live and it's nice to chat with them time to time.  I have a friend who I talk to on the phone sometimes.

It isn't as easy for me to make friends as it used to be when I was  much younger.  I don't get out much except to walk doggy and go to the doctor or Vet.  

I, too, would like to have a few more friends.


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## hollydolly (Jan 7, 2020)

Catlady said:


> I agree, Win!  To me a real friend is someone that I can tell anything to and they won't talk behind my the back, will keep my secrets, and will tell me the raw truth rather than what I want to hear (not yes people).


me too, but they are sooo few and far between.  I'm sick and tired of betrayal from people I thought  of as good friends.


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## CrackerJack (Jan 7, 2020)

I think friendship is a wonderful gift that many of us enjoy to a major degree or a lesser one.
I have two really close friends: one I met in 2002 and the friend moved to another county for health and family reasons. We keep in touch via phone and cards but its more of an affinity we have; that elusive element (cant think of a more suitable word) that comes from the unknown and can firm strong bonds with other people who cross eachothers paths in Life's rich tapestry.

The other close friend I had for a few years passed away unexpectedly two years ago and I miss her very much for her loyalty and integrity and kinship.
The bad choices I made years ago taught me how to protect myself of future mistakes but that doesn't assure me of choosing unwisely who I befriend in the future but im comfy these days

I do enjoy Threads like this one that touch on indepth subjects and relating to people and how human beings interact with eachother...fascinating and thought provoking.


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## peramangkelder (Jan 7, 2020)

Nope I do not make friends easily
I did when I was much younger but now with the wisdom of age I find most 'friends' have a hidden agenda 
My best friend is my sister


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## CrackerJack (Jan 7, 2020)

Yes, there are some people with hidden agendas and to be a victim of one or two can scar us for a long time or for life and ive been there, got the tee shirt seen the video as the expression goes here.
I am a basically trusting person and can take people at face value and thus be fooled. I detest confidence tricksters and I dont just mean with money.


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## Fyrefox (Jan 8, 2020)

Most of my friendships have been dependent upon physical proximity, initially at school and later at work.  When they move to a different location, usually the relationship is over.  I'm a second or third-tier friend to some people; they'll talk to me if one of their preferred besties isn't around...


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## squatting dog (Jan 8, 2020)

oldman said:


> I don’t let anyone get too close. I keep a tight boundary fence around me. I like privacy and I like to be the one who does the contacting, not the other way around. This is one of the reasons why my wife calls me a snob. I really do not have any close friends. I consider a “close friend” as someone that I would share anything going on in my life with. Not so. I enjoy my privacy, but I already said that.
> 
> However, I am a friendly type of guy and I do enjoy talking with people and learning new things.



Sounds a lot like me. Hmmmm, could be a military thing, as we quickly learned in war not to get too close to anyone in your squad. That said, outside of the wife, I no longer have above ground any of my few close ( I mean really close) friends.


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## Linda (Jan 8, 2020)

No, I don't.  I'm pretty picky about who my friends are.


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## twinkles (Jan 9, 2020)

i have one friend left--she has been to my house but i have never been to hers-i have known her for 35 years-we talk on the phone -she will call me and i stop what i am doing and answer the phone-but if she is watching a certain  program on t v she wont answer her phone


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## CarolfromTX (Jan 10, 2020)

I have two close friends, couples, people I trust. Recently, however, we joined a bridge group, and have met some people who are becoming our good friends. There are people there that I don't particularly enjoy, people I enjoy but don't think we'll ever be close with, and people I hope to get to know better. Pretty much like anywhere in life. I don't think you're ever too old to make new friends.


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## CrackerJack (Jan 10, 2020)

Thinking on since reading this Thread Ive thought about people in general and how some are what I call people-collectors: people male and female who need to have others around them all the time and no one  special and dont like  being alone for long and just needy

To me theres a difference between a people-person and a people-collector: the people-person likes people in general to be out and about and be friendly to all but have friends they are close to and loyal to one or two and be content. I am this kind of person, but im not needy despite being a Widow living solo for five years.

People-collectors, and I know a few, have lots of friends and associates in their social arena but not close to anyone in particular and just surround themselves through maybe loneliness or just superficial: a part of their basic physche which to my mind is insincere. One pal I have is like this and I dont feel special, just one of their circle of people to keep close when no one eIse is about. I like to feel special to my friends and not just one of many, also be I treat my friends special for their qualities. So, on conclusion, people-persons and people-collectors are different


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## hollydolly (Jan 10, 2020)

twinkles said:


> i have one friend left--she has been to my house but i have never been to hers-i have known her for 35 years-we talk on the phone -she will call me and i stop what i am doing and answer the phone-but if she is watching a certain  program on t v she wont answer her phone


* wow !! You've never been to your friend of 35 years, home?... is that your choice or hers? *


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## Sassycakes (Jan 10, 2020)

*It always was easy for me to make friends,because I was gullible. I always thought people were good and sincere. I've learned a lot since I have gotten older. We moved almost 2 yrs ago and I wave hello to neighbors,but I don't really want to get personally involved with them. I still have some close friends from long ago. My longest friendship is with a girl I became friends with when we were in 1st grade.*


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## PinotGrigio (Jan 10, 2020)

People person.
1sister/ friend from the 70’s. She lives in my home state. Is a friend with my sister  and her family. When her husband was living they hung out with my parents when I moved out of state. We get together when I go to my home state, or she visits me. We all just spent a week at the beach in Sept. 

2 friends that lived next door on each side of me when I moved to GA in 86. We all 3 couples are good friends have had so much fun!  We all had boats and that was our summer thing!  Still get together. 

1 friend since we both were 10. Keep in touch FB see her at times when I visit home state.
Here in NC have a few girl friends. Many acquaintances from a club I joined and from the bowling league we joined, the college football get togethers. 2 of these are with my husband.  
I talk to a lot of people. Bartender/Real Estate was my past.  

I do enjoy my alone time. Not afraid to go out to lunch or movies by myself.
Enjoy my neighbors and visiting with them.


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## Ladybj (Jan 10, 2020)

Llynn said:


> I think so. I'm a good listener (when I want to be) and that is what many people want from a friend. I find people interesting .


Same here, I find people very interesting.. some shock the heck out of me and others not surprised.


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## 911 (Jan 11, 2020)

In my line of work? I used to meet new people everyday, but very seldom a new friend.  

Now that I am retired, I try to be more outgoing and give people the benefit of the doubt. Overall, I believe that most people are good. There is that 2% that just doesn’t want to play by the rules. When people ask me what I did for a living before retirement, I just tell them that I worked for the state. Most of them let it go at that.


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## Camper6 (Jan 11, 2020)

No I don't make friends easily and I have a bad temper and just let it take over at times especially when someone tries to tell me what to do.


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## Pinky (Jan 11, 2020)

I've experienced some disappointing friendships that I simply had to walk away from. My closest friend, who I would trust with my life, is the furthest away, physically. We met online, 20 years ago. I stayed with her and her husband the first time I visited Australia, and we've always gotten along so well. We share the same principles, and they were so supportive of me when I was being treated poorly just before I returned to Toronto. They are the epitome of true friendship. Whatever has passed between us, stays just between us.


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## OneEyedDiva (Jan 13, 2020)

I do make friends easily...but of course all are not true friends. The other term I use is good acquaintances. There are 4 people I consider close friends and 2 of my honorary daughters (one is my DIL) whom I'm very close with. I think it's important to stay connected as we age.  I joined a senior center last April and I interact with many of the members...three of whom have attained friend status.  Once was a neighbor until a couple of decades ago. The other two have such good energy that we hit it off right away.  There's another who's likely to make it as well.

Having good friends is important. I tell my BFF that she's saved me lots of money on therapists.  LOL  I'd trust her with my life, my money and I've trusted her with my secrets. She's never judgmental, always supportive. She lives in another state, stays very busy but she's begun to take more time to connect. When my grandson was in the hospital with a mystery illness, she took time to call for updates just before it was time for her to go on stage; she's a pianist for a theater group. When she's up here, we go for lunch. We both realize, especially after my husband's unexpected decline, then death 3 months later and the sudden death of her sister-in-law, within a couple of months of each other, that life is not promised from one day to the next.


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## gennie (Jan 13, 2020)

I was never very good at it and I'm not improving with age.  I'm too blunt and don't sugar coat reality.   Death has taken all but one of the best I've had.  Thankfully I like my own company and enjoy lots of quiet time.


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## Rojo (Jan 15, 2020)

I have 2 close friends. I used to make friends easily, or I should probably call them acquaintances. Then I went through most of my adult life as a near recluse until I joined church. Now, I have many friends for which I am thankful.


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## pleinmont (Jan 15, 2020)

I am still in communication with a couple of friends I made at school in the 60s. I have a number of friendly acquaintances but have no need of a lot of friends, my family are enough for me.


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## katlupe (Jan 16, 2020)

I make friends fairly easy. I have many cousins in my area who I consider friends too. Plus my apartment building has 32 apartments in it and most of us are friends. I use a mobile chair when I go shopping by myself (not in the winter) and people on the street or in the stores talk to me all the time. My bf has a large family and they have welcomed me and include me in their family. I have a brother who lives not far from me, but if I want to see him, I have to go to his house. I don't have a close girlfriend type of friendship where I see someone all the time and we do things together. I have a couple of friends that our friendship used to be that way, but both of them have moved to different places. One I still see as she is about 40 miles from me. I am fine with it the way it is though. I hate having to do things at a certain time, as an appointment, so I keep in close contact on Facebook with my circle. It is good for that.


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## CrackerJack (Jan 16, 2020)

gennie said:


> I was never very good at it and I'm not improving with age.  I'm too blunt and don't sugar coat reality.   Death has taken all but one of the best I've had.  Thankfully I like my own company and enjoy lots of quiet time.


You are honest and saying it how it is for you and I like this in people especially those I mix with and my friends.

Ive got used to my own company and I loke my space and privacy and I think others sense this and respect this


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