# Funeral Dirge.



## Maywalk (Jul 11, 2014)

For those who have been reading my tales of years gone by I have just dug this one out (pun). I hope it brings a smile because at the time I was rolling up with laughter.


When my lad ( Barry ) was about 8/9 years of age we moved into a council flat and he was rather upset because he could not have a pet. We had had them in the past but when they died we did not take on any more because we knew we would be leaving the tied house that we lived in due to the factory that my hubby worked at and who owned the house was going into liquidation. 

Anyway to pacify our son we decided to let him have a big fish tank with two goldfish in it whom he named Bill and Ben. Strangely enough they got to know Barry and as soon as he walked in the room they would come right up to the corner of the tank to greet him and he would put his hand in and tickle their bellies. Meanwhile Barry had also asked us if he could join the Parish Choir because they were looking for boys to take over from those whose voices had broken. 

We said yes and everything was going smoothly till one day he came home and saw that Bill was not greeting him as usual. We put Bill in a container and rushed him to the vets who said that he had some sort of disease but unfortunately Bill died. 
Barry was so upset and to crown it all we had nowhere to bury it because with living in a flat we had no garden. 
Barry then said "Can we flush him down the toilet Mum" I said that it would be a good idea because I could see no other way of disposing of it. 
Barry said " We will wait until his dad gets home and we can have a proper funeral service for him then Mum cant we? " I was by this time trying hard to be VERY serious and doing my utmost NOT to laugh. 
Anyway when hubby came home and had it all explained to him after a few odd looks from him to me we went upstairs to the bathroom where the loo was situated and I thought it would just be put in the loo and flushed down. 

However my son had the bright!!!!!!!!!!!! idea of first saying a prayer for Bill to see him off on his long swim to the sky and then with us holding hands round the toilet and as he had just learnt "Abide With Me" for the choir we had to sing it as he ceremoniously pulled the lever. 
Can you imagine the scene of two adults and a little lad singing this round a toilet bowl??? 
I had my hanky over my face stifling my giggles and trying to sing the words at the same time. Hubby was doing better than me because he did manage to keep a straight face. 
When the loo finished flushing I asked hubby and son to leave me because I had to go to the loo.
I sat on that loo rolling up with laughter but I had to stifle my giggles because I heard my son say to his dad " See even Mum is upset because I can hear her crying."  

We have had many a laugh about that incident over the years. Barry is 63 now and is an electronics radio engineer. 
Incidentally when Ben died Barry had a friend with a garden so it was buried in a box. 
NO Hubby and I DID NOT attend the funeral.


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## Falcon (Jul 11, 2014)

Simple things mean a lot.   LOL


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## Meanderer (Jul 12, 2014)

Touching story.  Reminds me of: "If the truth were written on our tombstones, we would all want to be buried at Sea!"


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## Kath (Nov 5, 2014)

Maywalk:
I just loved your story about the toilet requiem!  I was laughing so hard I got a stitch in my side!  Aren't our kids and pets wonderful?


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## Maywalk (Nov 5, 2014)

Hi Kath. 
Yes children and pets really do make the world go round. Glad you enjoyed the tale. You would perhaps like the poems I have written that are all true tales about pets. They can be found on my website in the poetry section. I am no good at writing fiction all my tales and poems are based on true stories. http://www.memorylanehf.oddquine.co.uk/


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## Falcon (Nov 5, 2014)

Funny stuff Maywalk.


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## Meanderer (Nov 5, 2014)




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## Ameriscot (Nov 5, 2014)

Lol.


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## Maywalk (Nov 5, 2014)

Love it. I will show it my son when he calls.


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## GeorgiaXplant (Nov 5, 2014)

Good story. Things that were so funny to us at the time but that were so serious to our kids and meant so much to them...you're a good mommy!


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## Maywalk (Nov 5, 2014)

Thanks Georgia. 
Glad the story amused you. 
My son and I still have a laugh over it because when he got older and had my granddaughter I told him the truth. 
I can still see us in my minds eye over that ruddy toilet holding hands and singing and the seriously sad look on my sons face.


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## Twixie (Nov 8, 2014)

There are some strange funereal rites..for instance..when I was a kid and someone died in your street..you would keep the curtains closed until the funeral had passed..we also put 2 new pennies over the deceased's eyes..to pay his way over the river Styx...anyone else know of any strange customs?


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## hollydolly (Nov 8, 2014)

Twixie we had that same custom when I was a child..all the blinds were drawn in the street all day on the day of the funeral cortège had passed.



I rememer also when there was a wedding, we kids would stand outside the church ( a strangers wedding)...and wait for the bride and groom to drive off on their honeymoon, because the best man would always through a big bag of pennies out onto the pavement for us to scramble for...lol..great times!! The H&S folks have probably put the kibosh on that custom now..


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## Twixie (Nov 8, 2014)

hollydolly said:


> Twixie we had that same custom when I was a child..all the blinds were drawn in the street all day on the day of the funeral cortège had passed.
> 
> 
> 
> I rememer also when there was a wedding, we kids would stand outside the church ( a strangers wedding)...and wait for the bride and groom to drive off on their honeymoon, because the best man would always through a big bag of pennies out onto the pavement for us to scramble for...lol..great times!! The H&S folks have probably put the kibosh on that custom now..



Do you remember when a sweep used to turn up for good luck?


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## hollydolly (Nov 8, 2014)

OH yes, I'd forgotten that..of course, and he always got a photo taken with the bride and groom too..


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## RadishRose (Nov 8, 2014)

No music was allowed on the day of the funeral. When my grandfather died I was seven. Took the trip for the funeral. Not knowing anything, I began to play on my grandmothers piano after the funeral. My parents told me to stop but my grandmother said "let her play, I like it".


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## jujube (Nov 9, 2014)

Twixie said:


> There are some strange funereal rites..for instance..when I was a kid and someone died in your street..you would keep the curtains closed until the funeral had passed..we also put 2 new pennies over the deceased's eyes..to pay his way over the river Styx...anyone else know of any strange customs?



In the movie "Angela's Ashes", they are proceeding down a Dublin(?) street with the coffin of their little daughter and women are pouring buckets of water into the street ahead of them.  I always have wondered what that signified, but haven't found anyone who knew.


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