# Recent retirement; spousal medical issues



## D&K (Oct 5, 2015)

My husband retired in January from working weekend nights for 7 yrs; followed by our 6 week trip to southern USA. Since then he was diagnosed with cancer; currently doing chemo. Even though we are into October, I have no time to myself. We do trip every three weeks to chemo, followed by his being too weak to do much. IF we go out of town (week prior to next chemo) he is excessively tired and takes 2-3 days to recover. I'm feeling stressed, lost & out of my league. Since April, I work 1 day per week, with retirement in 6 more weeks; followed by Thanksgiving with my Dad, Christmas with my daughter in another state. THEN we're going to be campground hosts in GA for 3 months. I think I'm looking forward to being AWAY in January, looking forward to new scenery. Perhaps a new perspective.:confusion:


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## imp (Oct 5, 2015)

IMO, evaluate your lot in all this in perspective of all those thousands of folks whose positions are far worse. Be as accepting as you can, even to a fault, as others close to you have less, far less, openings present to them.   Best wishes for resolve!.   imp


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## Linda (Oct 9, 2015)

D&K, I would just say "I AM STRESSED OUT and I'll probably get sick if I don't give myself a break."  Then look for ways to cut back with this.  Can you get out of TG with your dad??  What about Christmas with the daughter?  My daughter is only 3 hours away and sometimes I just say I'd rather relax and have Thanksgiving or Christmas at home.  And for sure, I'd get out of that 3 months being camp hosts unless I was paid some huge amount of money and needed to work.  Your husband is really sick, use him as an excuse if you have to.  My husband would come before being a camp host or visiting my dad and daughter UNLESS you really want to visit them and it'll make you feel better.  If not, why do it?  My brother (he lives in my back yard) is 72 and his daughter (about 900 miles north of us) wanted him to go up for Thanksgiving and he told her "Thanksgiving is my time to deep pit turkeys".  He deep pits turkeys and then takes them and gives them to his kids and his dead wife's kids who happen to live in this area.  He loves doing it so that's what he does.  His daughter was mad for a week or so but the other day he mentioned she and her hubby are going to be in So Calif at some golfing resort/casino and they invited him to stay with them in a nice hotel for a week end later this month.  So she got over it.  Maybe my ideas wouldn't work for you and your family, I realize that.  There might be reasons you feel you have to do all these things that seem to be piling up higher and higher on your back.  Please let us know how you make out.  I know what it's like to be stressed with several things going on at once and knowing MORE are headed your way.


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## jujube (Oct 10, 2015)

Sometimes "getting away" is exactly what's needed.  The Thanksgiving and Christmas might be good breaks from your everyday life.


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## D&K (Oct 11, 2015)

Thank you for your feedback. We live (hours) from other family members. And unfortunately this will/is the only time every year to see my son & his family (another long story). It will be stressful, however I crave a short visit with him. In past years we only saw my daughter twice per year, which is NEVER at Christmas. She will make this Christmas ever so special. Yes, I 'could' forego these two holiday visits; however I am also selfish enough to do them. THANK YOU for being here FORUM!


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## hollydolly (Oct 11, 2015)

OH D&K, I'm not going to be very useful with suggestions but there are  health issues  here in my family too and I can absolutely understand the tiredness with regard your husband pre and post treatment and  the sheer exhaustion and lack of personal time for you...

I hope others may be able to help you with more constructive suggestions ..but I can only wish your husband a full  recovery..and that whatever you choose to do for the holidays give you the much needed respite you're looking for.. it definitely sounds like you desperately need it


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## D&K (Oct 11, 2015)

Thank you so much hollydolly!! My honey had an awesome day yesterday: full of energy. Went out of town to pay dear friends visit && nephew (with CP) birthday visit. Today the weather is awesome && did FUN things I enjoy. Yes: you CAN imagine how energizing it is!!


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