# How To Give a cat a Pill



## Kadee (Mar 18, 2015)

*How to give a cat a pill:

1. Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a
baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cats cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left
arm and repeat process.

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. FORCE jaws open and PUSH pill to back of mouth with right forefinger, hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call
spouse from yard.

6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws, ignoring low growls emitted by cat, get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth, drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make a
note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. 

8. Carefully sweep floor of shattered figurines and vases and set aside for gluing later.

9. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with its head just visible, Put pill in the end of a drinking straw, FORCE cat’s mouth open and blow pill down straw.

10. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

11. Retrieve cat from roof of neighbor's shed. 


12.  Get another pill, Force cat’s mouth open with dessertspoon, flick pill down throat with rubber band, close cat's mouth and hold shut to the count of 30.

13. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of your last tetanus shot.  

14. Call fire department to retrieve the cat from tree across the road,
apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat.  

15. Take last pill from foil wrap.

16. Tie the cat's front paws to rear paws with twine and bind tightly to
leg of dining room table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by piece of steak. BE ROUGH ABOUT IT. Hold cat's head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

17. Get spouse to drive you to emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye.

How to Give a Dog a Pill:
1. Wrap it in bacon.*


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## SeaBreeze (Mar 18, 2015)

:lol:


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## Falcon (Mar 18, 2015)

:lol1:    How true.......in both cases.


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## AZ Jim (Mar 18, 2015)

Funny but, actually dog or cat you only need to gently open the mouth and quickly place pill at the back of the tongue, they have to swallow.  A vet taught me that years ago and it worked for many many pills.


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## SeaBreeze (Mar 18, 2015)

I'll have to remember that tip Jim.  So far all the meds we've had to give him were in suspension liquid form, and given with a syringe.  I'd hold him in a towel and hubby would squeeze the medicine into his mouth.  Never look forward to having to do those things, that's for sure.


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## Kadee (Mar 18, 2015)

We had cats and dogs when the children were young, and found the best way to give cats any medication was in paste form mixed in their food.
I had a Silky Terrier dog and she was just so fussy with what she choose to eat I used to buy any medication I could for dogs in paste form for her,as she had the knack of knowing if there was a crushed pill in her treats/food
We don't have any pets even tho we would like a small dog ( hubby not fond of cats) We figure it would not be fair on a dog to just up and leave it when we go away for a month  in the winter, and all other times when we go away like the 6 day trip to Perth we have just home from. We feel its also unfair to rely on others to take care of your pets for an extended period, as we don't have any family in this area.


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## applecruncher (Mar 18, 2015)

:lofl:   I was waiting for the step "trip to emergency room".


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## AZ Jim (Mar 18, 2015)

SeaBreeze said:


> I'll have to remember that tip Jim.  So far all the meds we've had to give him were in suspension liquid form, and given with a syringe.  I'd hold him in a towel and hubby would squeeze the medicine into his mouth.  Never look forward to having to do those things, that's for sure.



If you place the pill at the back of the tongue, the cannot dislodge it.  They must swallow it.  Works very slick.


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