# How well do you handle rejection?



## Gael (Mar 19, 2014)

Don't feel bad. Look at some who got rejection letters:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/a...s-sent-worlds-successful-people-revealed.html


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## Bee (Mar 19, 2014)

Best way is to accept and move on.


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## Gael (Mar 19, 2014)

Bee said:


> Best way is to accept and move on.



Easier said then done for some people, though that would be the ideal. It's not always that cut and dried depending on the circumstances and the emotional make up of the individual involved. And the validity of the rejection needs to be evaluated too.


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## Bee (Mar 19, 2014)

The question was 'How well do _*you*_ handle  rejection'....and I answered the question.


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## Gael (Mar 19, 2014)

Bee said:


> The question was 'How well do _*you*_ handle  rejection'....and I answered the question.



Oh you sure did. I was commenting on your reply as this is a discussion or should be at least, not just a Q and A.


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## Rainee (Mar 19, 2014)

I would have to agree with Bee.. 
Feeling rejected is the opposite of feeling accepted. But being rejected (and we all will be at times) doesn't mean someone isn't liked, valued, or important. It just means that one time, in one situation, with one person, things didn't work out.  just move on and not make a big thing about it thats how I`d handle it. Life is too hard as it is with out another problem ..


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## Jillaroo (Mar 19, 2014)

_Easier said than done in some cases_    :coffeelaugh:


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## Gael (Mar 19, 2014)

Rainee said:


> I would have to agree with Bee..
> Feeling rejected is the opposite of feeling accepted. But being rejected (and we all will be at times) doesn't mean someone isn't liked, valued, or important. It just means that one time, in one situation, with one person, things didn't work out.  just move on and not make a big thing about it thats how I`d handle it. Life is too hard as it is with out another problem ..



That's a healthy sense of self you have there, Rainee. And I wouldn't disagree with it or with Bees statement either. I was just looking for a bit of elaboration which you have done anyway.

For myself, I've learned as years past to consider the source of the rejection as well as whether or not it really mattered to me in the big picture.

All of us will experience some sort of rejection in life, so we need to be able to move on for sure and to keep our sense of self intact. Harder when it's a significant rejection such as a child/parent one for example. Or the loss of a long time marriage partner for another example. "Just move on" then is not so simple.


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## Bullie76 (Mar 19, 2014)

I'm fine with it as long as I get in a good punch on the way out the door.


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## Gael (Mar 19, 2014)

Bullie76 said:


> I'm fine with it as long as I get in a good punch on the way out the door.



:hit:


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## Warrigal (Mar 19, 2014)

:lol: I was rejected every time I tried out for choir at school.
The triumph of hope over experience kept me coming back for more.


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## Justme (Mar 19, 2014)

I don't think I have experienced rejection.


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## Falcon (Mar 19, 2014)

Of course it depends on the circumstances how to react. In some cases, it may be something I didn't see and

maybe I should look into it and change for the better.

Also the rejector needs considering; maybe they (he,she, they) need to be rejected themselves!  Then I'd just laugh it off and go on my way.


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## Gael (Mar 19, 2014)

Warrigal said:


> :lol: I was rejected every time I tried out for choir at school.
> The triumph of hope over experience kept me coming back for more.



Hope truly did spring eternal for you!


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## Gael (Mar 19, 2014)

Falcon said:


> Of course it depends on the circumstances how to react. In some cases, it may be something I didn't see and
> 
> maybe I should look into it and change for the better.
> 
> Also the rejector needs considering; maybe they (he,she, they) need to be rejected themselves!  Then I'd just laugh it off and go on my way.



That's what I said...consider the source.


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## Davey Jones (Mar 19, 2014)

Rejection? isnt that the same as being disowned?


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## Gael (Mar 19, 2014)

Davey Jones said:


> Rejection? isnt that the same as being disowned?



Experience with that?


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## Denise1952 (Mar 19, 2014)

Bee said:


> Best way is to accept and move on.



I agree with you Bee.  It's taken years to truly feel that way, or "just do it", move on.  I was telling someone this a.m. that it is easy now to accept rejection, probably because I have no expectations.  I don't know if it's good or bad not to have any expectations, because I think sometimes I am expecting to be rejected, LOL.  I'm laughing but we know there is sometimes pain behind laughter.  Other folks much worse off than I survive, damned if I'm gonna be a weenie.  Well, maybe sometimes I'll crawl up in the fetal position.  Hard to do stuff when you are in that position though, lol Denise


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## That Guy (Mar 19, 2014)




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## Gael (Mar 19, 2014)

That Guy said:


>



Isn't she polite!:bonvoyage:


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## That Guy (Mar 19, 2014)

I love the "fill in the blank" for Dear  ________ ,


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## Falcon (Mar 19, 2014)

Yeah;  A "Form " letter.  Ha Ha


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## That Guy (Mar 19, 2014)




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## Mirabilis (Mar 19, 2014)

Back in my corporate days I remember attending some sales seminar.  I never was into Sales but I do remember they covered rejection.  If you did not get a NO today you did not try hard enough.  They actually told us to make it a goal to get a number of Noes everyday and BE HAPPY about it because it represented the fact that we tried.  I think we need to look at life like that.  On a more intimate level, it hurts, but with enough self-esteem we should be able to understand that we all have different needs and expectations and we should be able to recover and move on.


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## i_am_Lois (Mar 19, 2014)

Looking for employment I'd go out and apply for many jobs. I always anticipated a high rejection rate. I wouldn't apply at just one place and be devastated when not accepted. 

A more personal rejection, such as a partner in a relationship wanting to end things is much harder for me to deal with. 

Applying for work is only hopeful anticipation. 
A relationship is different because I've invested so much emotion, time and money. Then to deal with a broken heart.


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## Denise1952 (Mar 19, 2014)

Mirabilis said:


> Back in my corporate days I remember attending some sales seminar.  I never was into Sales but I do remember they covered rejection.  If you did not get a NO today you did not try hard enough.  They actually told us to make it a goal to get a number of Noes everyday and BE HAPPY about it because it represented the fact that we tried.  I think we need to look at life like that.  On a more intimate level, it hurts, but with enough self-esteem we should be able to understand that we all have different needs and expectations and we should be able to recover and move on.



Thanks M, I feel way better, I am getting a lots of no's, and I was worried if I was even trying, LOL!!  Not now, you made may day!!


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## Gael (Mar 20, 2014)

Justme said:


> I don't think I have experienced rejection.



Wow! Many wish they could say the same!


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## Gael (Mar 20, 2014)

i_am_Lois said:


> Looking for employment I'd go out and apply for many jobs. I always anticipated a high rejection rate. I wouldn't apply at just one place and be devastated when not accepted.
> 
> A more personal rejection, such as a partner in a relationship wanting to end things is much harder for me to deal with.
> 
> ...



That's been my point Lois, certain forms of rejection are easier to brush off then others.
The more personal it is, the harder to dismiss.


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## Gael (Mar 20, 2014)

Mirabilis said:


> Back in my corporate days I remember attending some sales seminar.  I never was into Sales but I do remember they covered rejection.  If you did not get a NO today you did not try hard enough.  They actually told us to make it a goal to get a number of Noes everyday and BE HAPPY about it because it represented the fact that we tried.  I think we need to look at life like that.  On a more intimate level, it hurts, but with enough self-esteem we should be able to understand that we all have different needs and expectations and we should be able to recover and move on.



Jobhunting brings rejection to new levels and the determination and big picture factor needs to kick in. When I got a no it just spurred me on. But by nature I am extremely determined so it wasn't a big stretch for me.


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## Gael (Mar 20, 2014)

That Guy said:


>



Haaaa, spoken like a true New Yorker!


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## Warrigal (Mar 20, 2014)

Fear of rejection is very powerful. It is the reason we develop various personas that hide a lot of who we really are. Then if one of these personas is rejected, it hurts a lot less than if we reveal our true self and then suffer rejection. It's the reason why we hold back some aspects of who were are, even from our intimates. Actually, especially our intimates, because they have the greatest power to wound us by rejecting us.

It takes a lot of courage to drop the seventh veil and reveal ourselves fully to someone we love but it is important to take the risk.


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## Gael (Mar 20, 2014)

Warrigal said:


> Fear of rejection is very powerful. It is the reason we develop various personas that hide a lot of who we really are. Then if one of these personas is rejected, it hurts a lot less than if were reveal our true self and then suffered rejection. It's the reason why we hold back some aspects of who were are, even from our intimates. Actually, especially our intimates, because they have the greatest power to wound us by rejecting us.
> 
> It takes a lot of courage to drop the seventh veil and reveal ourselves fully to someone we love but it is important to take the risk.



Well said, Warrigal! In some the fear of rejection can cripple them for life emotionally.


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## That Guy (Mar 20, 2014)

As a young boy I was bothered when somebody didn't accept or like me.  Slowly learned  . . . ya just can't please everyone.  Being a person with deep feelings, rejection of any kind still hurts but am able to let it go and move on...


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## Gael (Mar 20, 2014)

That Guy said:


> As a young boy I was bothered when somebody didn't accept or like me.  Slowly learned  . . . ya just can't please everyone.  Being a person with deep feelings, rejection of any kind still hurts but am able to let it go and move on...



You do learn to deal with it better as time passes. You are less influenced by others opinions I think in general.


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