# A New Foster Child!



## Murrmurr (Feb 26, 2022)

Michelle and I will be getting a new foster child on either Monday or Tuesday! Soon as she's released from the hospital. She's 6 weeks old. It's against the rules for me to post pictures (hope I don't forget at some point   ) and can't use her name, so she'll be Lil K (or just K). She was in neonatal intensive care (NICU) from birth until a few days ago, born with meth in her system, respiratory problems, and jaundice, plus she required a blood transfusion, but she's doing really well, they said. Her worker emailed me a photo and some documents, and she's super tiny (it's a newborn photo, tho) and her face is all puffy 'round the eyes in the picture but she looks real cute. She has lots of black hair, a teeny tiny nose, and her lips are kind of pooched out like she's doing a baby duck-face. Lil K was born for selfies.

She might only be with us a short while; until a relative steps up. But the family's had 6 weeks to come up with a relative who qualifies (per CPS and Family Law), so she could be here for several months or so....either until her mother completes rehab and all that, or until Lil K is adopted. That generally happens when the child is about 18 months old and the parent fails to complete rehab and all the court-ordered programs. ...Didn't happen for me and Paxton, but sometimes you get a judge who makes stupid, inexplicable decisions.

Anyway, we're (suddenly) having a baby! 

I'll be setting up the crib tomorrow morning and then we gotta go shop for diapers, bottles, formula and onesies and all that stuff. CPS babies always arrive with nothing but the clothes on their backs and a few disposable diapers.


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## palides2021 (Feb 26, 2022)

Murrmurr said:


> Michelle and I will be getting a new foster child on either Monday or Tuesday! Soon as she's released from the hospital. She's 6 weeks old. It's against the rules for me to post pictures (hope I don't forget at some point   ) and can't use her name, so she'll be Lil K (or just K). She was in neonatal intensive care (NICU) from birth until a few days ago, born with meth in her system, respiratory problems, and jaundice, plus she required a blood transfusion, but she's doing really well, they said. Her worker emailed me a photo and some documents, and she's super tiny (it's a newborn photo, tho) and her face is all puffy 'round the eyes in the picture but she looks real cute. She has lots of black hair, a teeny tiny nose, and her lips are kind of pooched out like she's doing a baby duck-face. Lil K was born for selfies.
> 
> She might only be with us a short while; until a relative steps up. But the family's had 6 weeks to come up with a relative who qualifies (per CPS and Family Law), so she could be here for several months or so....either until her mother completes rehab and all that, or until Lil K is adopted. That generally happens when the child is about 18 months old and the parent fails to complete rehab and all the court-ordered programs. ...Didn't happen for me and Paxton, but sometimes you get a judge who makes stupid, inexplicable decisions.
> 
> ...


What a joyous moment! So glad for you! Hug the baby for me!


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## dseag2 (Feb 26, 2022)

I am so happy for you and Michelle!  I know you will be such a great foster dad to this very fortunate little girl.  She will be spoiled for sure!


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## RadishRose (Feb 26, 2022)

Murrmurr said:


> Michelle and I will be getting a new foster child on either Monday or Tuesday! Soon as she's released from the hospital. She's 6 weeks old. It's against the rules for me to post pictures (hope I don't forget at some point   ) and can't use her name, so she'll be Lil K (or just K). She was in neonatal intensive care (NICU) from birth until a few days ago, born with meth in her system, respiratory problems, and jaundice, plus she required a blood transfusion, but she's doing really well, they said. Her worker emailed me a photo and some documents, and she's super tiny (it's a newborn photo, tho) and her face is all puffy 'round the eyes in the picture but she looks real cute. She has lots of black hair, a teeny tiny nose, and her lips are kind of pooched out like she's doing a baby duck-face. Lil K was born for selfies.
> 
> She might only be with us a short while; until a relative steps up. But the family's had 6 weeks to come up with a relative who qualifies (per CPS and Family Law), so she could be here for several months or so....either until her mother completes rehab and all that, or until Lil K is adopted. That generally happens when the child is about 18 months old and the parent fails to complete rehab and all the court-ordered programs. ...Didn't happen for me and Paxton, but sometimes you get a judge who makes stupid, inexplicable decisions.
> 
> ...


Frank, I am so happy for you both. Those empty arms of yours will be full again. Lil K had a rough start, but in your good care, she will blossom.


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## Signe The Survivor (Feb 26, 2022)

Such a joyous moment for you and Michelle.


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## Jules (Feb 26, 2022)

Congratulations to you and Michelle.  She’s lucky to go to your home.


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## jujube (Feb 26, 2022)

Congrats, Murrmurr.  Best of luck with Little K.

  It's a blessed thing you're doing.  

My parents fostered for years and once had a family of six kids who were with them for a couple of years.  No babies, though. That takes a special type of person.....especially for the babies who come with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome or drug addiction


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## terry123 (Feb 26, 2022)

So happy for y'all!!  That little girl is very lucky to get y'all!


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## Gary O' (Feb 26, 2022)

@Murrmurr 
Yer a saint


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## Tish (Feb 27, 2022)

Oh, how sweet Congratulations.


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## Murrmurr (Feb 27, 2022)

jujube said:


> Congrats, Murrmurr.  Best of luck with Little K.
> 
> It's a blessed thing you're doing.
> 
> My parents fostered for years and once had a family of six kids who were with them for a couple of years.  No babies, though. That takes a special type of person.....especially for the babies who come with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome or drug addiction


When I was told I could only take kids under age 2 and that I'd probably only get babies (cuz I only have 1 bedroom), I almost changed my mind about fostering. I couldn't picture myself with a baby. It seemed weird. But then Paxton moved in, not even a month old, and it was easier and more fun than I thought it would be.

He cried A LOT the first 5 months, and he was freaking loud! But I don't sleep that well anyway, and I found out I have become very patient on my way down this side of the hill. And when I hit on the idea of giving him donated mother's milk, the crying stopped. It was his tummy all along, poor guy.

It was weird having a freezer full of breast milk for several months, too, but hey, you do watchya gotta. 

I remember Pax sitting beside me in his baby-chair thing while I sat at the table soldiering dozens or even hundreds of packets of breast milk in these long narrow boxes I made, setting them all up according to date. Then I'd slide the boxes side by side into the freezer. And I'd take Paxton with me to pick up the donations, which I guess was unusual because the donating mothers would be all excited to see who was getting their milk, and they'd make over him and stuff. So that was fun for both of us. Kinda fun for the ladies, too bc they were always so surprised to see that the recipient foster parent was this old bald guy. Some of them would give me advice, you know, like you would do with a first-time parent, and their eyes would be the size of saucers the whole time, like they were thinking "OMG, old dude with a baby, handling my milk....this can't be right!"


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## Murrmurr (Feb 27, 2022)

Gary O' said:


> @Murrmurr
> Yer a saint


Except the rewards are immediate, while I'm alive.  

Michelle is the awesome one. She has work and school, but she said No Problem. 
And anyway, I'll take all the night-shifts. She has to get up early 5 days a week.

She can't wait to get her hands on this kid.


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## Murrmurr (Feb 27, 2022)

terry123 said:


> So happy for y'all!!  That little girl is very lucky to get y'all!





Tish said:


> Oh, how sweet Congratulations.


Thank you.

Crib is all set up and Michelle bought a pink baby blanket for it and some new little-girly things to hang on the wall above it.
She's having fun in there.


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## HoneyNut (Feb 27, 2022)

That sounds so exciting, though I suppose it will be a lot of work.  I've never had a baby to care for, it seems a little scary to me.

Will the baby be having visits?  I did a little foster care of elementary age children until I got to keep my daughter, and I thought when I retired I would do it again, but now that I'm retiring I want to travel instead (though still trying to figure out how to afford it).  

I enjoyed having the kids but all the driving back and forth to visits and finding something to do with myself while waiting was tedious.  One memory I have of picking up a kid from a visit with her mom, was them coming out of the building together and the child ran up to me with a big cheerful 'Hi Mom!' and it was so naughty of her because she didn't usually call me mom and was just doing it to annoy her mother.  But, I'm sure the mother deserved some pay-back because she sure failed in her parental duties.


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## Kika (Feb 27, 2022)

How Exciting! Congratulations!  Lil K is a lucky baby to have you and Michele.


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## Murrmurr (Feb 27, 2022)

HoneyNut said:


> That sounds so exciting, though I suppose it will be a lot of work.  I've never had a baby to care for, it seems a little scary to me.
> 
> Will the baby be having visits?  I did a little foster care of elementary age children until I got to keep my daughter, and I thought when I retired I would do it again, but now that I'm retiring I want to travel instead (though still trying to figure out how to afford it).
> 
> I enjoyed having the kids but all the driving back and forth to visits and finding something to do with myself while waiting was tedious.  One memory I have of picking up a kid from a visit with her mom, was them coming out of the building together and the child ran up to me with a big cheerful 'Hi Mom!' and it was so naughty of her because she didn't usually call me mom and was just doing it to annoy her mother.  But, I'm sure the mother deserved some pay-back because she sure failed in her parental duties.


Visits depend on how long Lil K will be with us. After the mom enters rehab she'll be isolated for several weeks, then she'll be in counseling and go to parenting class 3 times a week, plus whatever other programs the court requires; so the mom is kept super busy for another several weeks and she'll get supervised one-hour visits once a week. The county will transport Lil K to the visitors center, or I can take her...which I probably will. Then, if all goes well, the visits go to twice a week, then 3 times a week unsupervised, then an overnight visit once a week, then the one overnight plus weekends.

But again, the county provides transportation. My foster son, Paxton cried his eyes out on those trips, so I took him to all the visits myself. It was great because it was a good time to talk to him - to prepare him mentally for the visit, get him to relax about it or jazzed up for it if he was feeling down. Like, I would know if a trip to the zoo was planned, so I'd tell him he was going to see some cool animals, or I'd tell him his mom was super-super excited about seeing him....stuff like that.


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## feywon (Feb 27, 2022)

Congrats and bless y'all for doing this. As others have said i think Lil K is lucky she will be your care for a while.


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## Pinky (Feb 27, 2022)

Bless you and Michelle. You will both be making such an impact on this precious little girl's early days. There's nothing like cuddling a sleeping infant in one's arms. This is just what your heart needs right now.


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## SmoothSeas (Feb 27, 2022)

mazel tov...

let's have a cyber-party, everybody...  
this calls for a celebration...​


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## Jules (Feb 27, 2022)

Has the mother agreed to go into rehab?


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## Lewkat (Feb 27, 2022)

Wonderful Murr.


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## Jeni (Feb 27, 2022)

how exciting .. it takes a strong person to be able to foster and i have always admired those committed to helping the kids and babies.


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## Murrmurr (Feb 27, 2022)

Jules said:


> Has the mother agreed to go into rehab?


I haven't been told yet. She may BE in rehab now; the baby is 6 weeks old.
We'll get more details soon after K gets here. The caseworker is supposed to pay a visit within a couple of weeks, I think.


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## Murrmurr (Feb 27, 2022)

Jeni said:


> how exciting .. it takes a strong person to be able to foster and i have always admired those committed to helping the kids and babies.


To be Frank, the hardest part is dealing with CPS and the court. You get limited information, limited support, and they dismiss a lot of what you say and some of your concerns. Paxton's Sacramento County caseworker was a gem. His Amador County worker is ....not.


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## Kaila (Feb 27, 2022)

Pinky said:


> Bless you and Michelle. You will both be making such an impact on this precious little girl's early days. There's nothing like cuddling a sleeping infant in one's arms. This is just what your heart needs right now.


I agree with all of this!
Congratulations, Frank, to you and Michelle, and enjoy those precious moments, in the present time!


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## Ruth n Jersey (Feb 27, 2022)

Congratulations! What wonderful people both of you are to open your hearts and home to this little baby.


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## JMummey (Feb 27, 2022)

Murrmurr said:


> Michelle and I will be getting a new foster child on either Monday or Tuesday! Soon as she's released from the hospital. She's 6 weeks old. It's against the rules for me to post pictures (hope I don't forget at some point   ) and can't use her name, so she'll be Lil K (or just K). She was in neonatal intensive care (NICU) from birth until a few days ago, born with meth in her system, respiratory problems, and jaundice, plus she required a blood transfusion, but she's doing really well, they said. Her worker emailed me a photo and some documents, and she's super tiny (it's a newborn photo, tho) and her face is all puffy 'round the eyes in the picture but she looks real cute. She has lots of black hair, a teeny tiny nose, and her lips are kind of pooched out like she's doing a baby duck-face. Lil K was born for selfies.
> 
> She might only be with us a short while; until a relative steps up. But the family's had 6 weeks to come up with a relative who qualifies (per CPS and Family Law), so she could be here for several months or so....either until her mother completes rehab and all that, or until Lil K is adopted. That generally happens when the child is about 18 months old and the parent fails to complete rehab and all the court-ordered programs. ...Didn't happen for me and Paxton, but sometimes you get a judge who makes stupid, inexplicable decisions.
> 
> ...


WOW! This is so exciting, congratulations! Sending you our best from North Carolina for happy and healthy adventures with this sweet little one!


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## mellowyellow (Feb 27, 2022)

Happiness comes along in a little bundle of joy, so happy for you.


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## Gaer (Feb 27, 2022)

Oh!  How wonderful!


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## Lara (Feb 27, 2022)

What a blessing to read of new birth for a change and the positive news that you and Michelle have big hearts, excited to take the baby under your wing,  and to hear of the baby's improvement! Kisses for Lil Baby K


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## Remy (Feb 28, 2022)

Wonderful. That little child has not had an easy start in life. I hope she has better years ahead and people who truly care for her.


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## Murrmurr (Feb 28, 2022)

Lil K will arrive tomorrow morning around 10 or 11! 

Her caseworker, Alie, said she'll bring K's case-folder within a couple hours after the baby gets here. That's pretty swift for CPS. Alie has called us 4 times now, including 2 calls during the weekend, and she went over a lot of details. She sounds like one of the good ones!


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## SeaBreeze (Feb 28, 2022)

So glad you and Michelle are welcoming this little girl into your home, she's had it rough but she's soon to feel the love from you both.  You're very kind, the baby is very lucky.


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## Murrmurr (Feb 28, 2022)

SeaBreeze said:


> So glad you and Michelle are welcoming this little girl into your home, she's had it rough but she's soon to feel the love from you both.  You're very kind, the baby is very lucky.


Michelle is absolutely giddy. And she's thrilled that it's a girl. She's always wanted a daughter but she can't have children; lost her uterus to endometriosis over 10 years ago.

But I talked to her more than once about the possibility that Lil K won't be with us for more than a year and a half, 2 years at most, and maybe not longer than just a few months. Maybe even less if a loving relative with a good home is found. Michelle said she understands, but I told myself the same thing for the almost 3 years I had Paxton. You're aware that the odds favor losing the child, but it still hits really hard when it happens. 

At least this time, she and I will have each other for support, through the whole thing and the aftermath too.


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## Murrmurr (Feb 28, 2022)

SeaBreeze said:


> So glad you and Michelle are welcoming this little girl into your home, she's had it rough but she's soon to feel the love from you both.  You're very kind, the baby is very lucky.


...meanwhile, though, she's OURS 100% !


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## Devi (Feb 28, 2022)

Murrmurr said:


> ...meanwhile, though, she's OURS 100% !


That's wonderful, Murrmurr. I'm so pleased for you and Michelle, and can't wait to hear more.


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## Murrmurr (Mar 1, 2022)

Lil K was welcomed a few hours ago. I won't be posting more pictures. It's very much frowned upon. But this one is kind of dark and she'll look very different just weeks from now, plus I cropped out the caseworker sitting next to me, so I'm taking the liberty just this once...probably. 

Lil K is a mega-cutie!


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## RadishRose (Mar 1, 2022)

Oh, the sweet li'l bitty angel. I would love to hold her.


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## Pepper (Mar 1, 2022)

Are you sure that's you?  You don't look like your avatar or other pictures you've shown!  All your pics are Handsome, Of Course! not complaining.  Baby is just a typical, average baby................in other words Gorgeous & Cute!  Best of luck for you and Michelle!


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## Jules (Mar 1, 2022)

So excited for all of you.


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## Murrmurr (Mar 1, 2022)

Pepper said:


> Are you sure that's you?  You don't look like your avatar or other pictures you've shown!  All your pics are Handsome, Of Course! not complaining.  Baby is just a typical, average baby................in other words Gorgeous & Cute!  Best of luck for you and Michelle!


I've lost a lot of weight . Over 20 pounds now. But I've always said that avatar picture is my favorite; I was super happy, I'm all tan...it was a great day when it was taken. My daughter was up for a long visit. Plus, it's a studio portrait. They always make you look good with all the great lighting and stuff.

But yeah, that's me. Skinny me. Tired me. But I'm happy though.


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## Murrmurr (Mar 1, 2022)

Murrmurr said:


> I've lost a lot of weight . Over 20 pounds now. But I've always said that avatar picture is my favorite; I was super happy, I'm all tan...it was a great day when it was taken. My daughter was up for a long visit. Plus, it's a studio portrait. They always make you look good with all the great lighting and stuff.
> 
> But yeah, that's me. Skinny me. Tired me. But I'm happy though.


Oh, also, Michelle dyed my soul-patch.


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## Leann (Mar 1, 2022)

You and Michelle are doing God's work. Surrounding both of you and Lil K with love, warmth and wishes for much happiness.


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## Jan14 (Mar 1, 2022)

Congrats on the new foster baby.  Thanks for helping her!


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## SeaBreeze (Mar 1, 2022)

Murrmurr said:


> Lil K was welcomed a few hours ago. I won't be posting more pictures. It's very much frowned upon. But this one is kind of dark and she'll look very different just weeks from now, plus I cropped out the caseworker sitting next to me, so I'm taking the liberty just this once...probably.
> 
> Lil K is a mega-cutie!
> 
> View attachment 211035


Thanks for sharing this photo, she looks so sweet, I wish the best for you all.


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## SeaBreeze (Mar 1, 2022)

Murrmurr said:


> Michelle is absolutely giddy. And she's thrilled that it's a girl. She's always wanted a daughter but she can't have children; lost her uterus to endometriosis over 10 years ago.
> 
> But I talked to her more than once about the possibility that Lil K won't be with us for more than a year and a half, 2 years at most, and maybe not longer than just a few months. Maybe even less if a loving relative with a good home is found. Michelle said she understands, but I told myself the same thing for the almost 3 years I had Paxton. You're aware that the odds favor losing the child, but it still hits really hard when it happens.
> 
> At least this time, she and I will have each other for support, through the whole thing and the aftermath too.


You are both good people with warm loving hearts.  I hope the future is good for both of you and the baby.....hugs and love to you all.


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## Geezer Garage (Mar 1, 2022)

Good on you, and great for her. Well done.


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## terry123 (Mar 2, 2022)

Great picture of y'all!!  Everybody looking good!!!  Good luck sleeping!


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