# Wedding Planner Say's "Sorry, Can't Do It"



## ClassicRockr (Jan 16, 2015)

Local news here:
A Lesbian couple here in our area called a Wedding Planner to help them put together their wedding in Oct. The Wedding Planner, who is also the owner of the Business, told then that the date they requested wasn't available and, due to her beliefs, she couldn't do the wedding anyway. She was very polite in her statement and told them that she was sorry, but that did no good. The Wedding Planner told media that she feels like she is being "bullied" on her Facebook page. She says that she believes that marriage should be between a man and a woman. The Lesbian couple can't believe that the lady said "due to my beliefs, I can't do it". One of the couple said that the are being discriminated against because they are Lesbians. One also put her business on a list online giving the names of businesses that are not Gay and Lesbian friendly. 

My feelings:

The Wedding Planner has the right to turn away anybody she so desires. It's her belief and her Business! This Lesbian couple doesn't know it by now that not everyone believes and supports gay marriage? Where have you two been???


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## AZ Jim (Jan 16, 2015)

Sounds to me like it is an opportunity for a Gay person to start a wedding planning business!!


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## Ramblin Rose (Jan 16, 2015)

The wedding planner has the right to refuse just as the couple has the right to go to another planner.

As for the list of not gay friendly businesses somehow I see this as discriminatory. A business such as a wedding planner does a specific job of marrying men and women only. BUT, Take the case of a dog groomer for instance, what if a gay couple had a pit bull and the groomer refused service. Would it  be fair to put the groomer on the list?


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## Cookie (Jan 16, 2015)

Oh sure - fine for the wedding planner to discriminate because it's her business? -- NOT!  It's called discrimination folks!  Then I guess it's OK for a restaurant to turn away customers because they don't 'believe' in their lifestyle choices?  We have a government department here called the Department of Human Rights and the wedding planner could be charged with a human rights issue, and rightly so. I think the wedding planner is a total bigot, but bigotry might be OK for some people. Or if you don't like the word bigot, perhaps 'intolerant' might be nicer, but it still means the same thing.


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## Jackie22 (Jan 16, 2015)

Cookie said:


> Oh sure - fine for the wedding planner to discriminate because it's her business? -- NOT!  It's called discrimination folks!  Then I guess it's OK for a restaurant to turn away customers because they don't 'believe' in their lifestyle choices?  We have a government department here called the Department of Human Rights and the wedding planner could be charged with a human rights issue, and rightly so. I think the wedding planner is a total bigot, but bigotry might be OK for some people. Or if you don't like the word bigot, perhaps 'intolerant' might be nicer, but it still means the same thing.



Cookie is exactly right, we had a discussion about this once before, only it was a baker....the wedding planner better hope the couple do not sue, because the wedding planner would lose.


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## AprilT (Jan 16, 2015)

Cookie said:


> Oh sure - fine for the wedding planner to discriminate because it's her business? -- NOT!  It's called discrimination folks!  Then I guess it's OK for a restaurant to turn away customers because they don't 'believe' in their lifestyle choices?  We have a government department here called the Department of Human Rights and the wedding planner could be charged with a human rights issue, and rightly so. I think the wedding planner is a total bigot, but bigotry might be OK for some people. Or if you don't like the word bigot, perhaps 'intolerant' might be nicer, but it still means the same thing.





Jackie22 said:


> Cookie is exactly right, we had a discussion about this once before, only it was a baker....the wedding planner better hope the couple do not sue, because the wedding planner would lose.



People such as yourselves continue to give me hope in humanity.  I know it's a bit off topic, but, I'm still seething and feeling pain from thoughts of what happened to Alan Turing, the man partly responsible for making it possible for us to have access to communicate as we are today and so much more.  You had to see the movie to see what those injections and the humiliation and prejudice did to this human being.  When those beliefs cause the destruction of other human souls and infringe on their right to live a whole life, I have a problem.  If you want a license issued to you to work a public business, you need to be prepared to serve the public as a whole without prejudice.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/history/people/alan_turing
"In 1952, Turing was arrested and tried for homosexuality, then a criminal offence. To avoid prison, he accepted injections of oestrogen for a year, which were intended to neutralise his libido. In that era, homosexuals were considered a security risk as they were open to blackmail. Turing's security clearance was withdrawn, meaning he could no longer work for GCHQ, the post-war successor to Bletchley Park."
He committed suicide on 7 June, 1954.


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## Josiah (Jan 16, 2015)

I don't think the wedding planner has the right to refuse the gay couple.

The Federal Civil Rights Act guarantees all people the right to "full and equal enjoyment of the goods, services, facilities, privileges, advantages, and accommodations of any place of public accommodation, without discrimination or segregation on the ground of race, color, religion, or national origin."


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## SeaBreeze (Jan 16, 2015)

I feel the same way I did about the baker who refused to make a wedding cake for a gay couple.  If you want to benefit financially from opening a business that serves the public, then serve the public without discrimination.  You have your right to worship in your own religion, but keep that at home when you're working.  If you can't separate business from personal belief, then close your doors.  Discrimination against race, sex, etc. is against the law and rightfully so.



> DENVER (AP) — Colorado's Civil Rights Commission on Friday ordered a baker to make wedding cakes for same-sex couples, finding his religious objections to the practice did not trump the state's anti-discrimination statutes.
> The unanimous ruling from the seven-member commission upheld an administrative law judge's finding in December that Jack Phillips violated civil rights law when he refused to make a wedding cake for a gay couple in 2012. The couple sued


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## Fern (Jan 16, 2015)

All this pcness, where has, we are all individuals with our own thoughts and beliefs gone. I prefer not to live my life like a sheep.


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## AprilT (Jan 16, 2015)

Fern said:


> All this pcness, where has, we are all individuals with our own thoughts and beliefs gone. I prefer not to live my life like a sheep.




Yes, it's great that today people think more freely instead of following the herd in how they were taught to believe how humans should be to accommodate antiquated thought patterns.  Yep, have to love all the new free thinkers of the world whether they are starting to coincide with a few others here and there or not, just shows that some people aren't stuck.


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## RadishRose (Jan 16, 2015)

It's confusing sometimes.

Remember the trouble Chic-fil-A was in for being anti- gay?

I saw this:
Selective Outrage? Duke University Ousts Chick-fil-A But OK's Muslim Call to Prayer (Even Though Islam Condemns Homosexuality)

http://nation.foxnews.com/2015/01/1...-chick-fil-oks-muslim-call-prayer-even-though


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## Jackie22 (Jan 16, 2015)

[h=1]They have reversed their decision....


Duke University reverses decision, cancels weekly Muslim call to prayer[/h]http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/...ecision-cancels-weekly-muslim-call-to-prayer/ 

By Susan Svrluga and Michelle Boorstein January 15 at 8:15 PM 






People walk by Duke Chapel on the campus of Duke University in Durham, N.C. in 2010. The University had planned to have a Muslim call to prayer on Friday but reversed the decision on Thursday. (Jim R. Bounds/Bloomberg) 

Duke University canceled plans Thursday to begin a weekly Muslim call to prayer from the campus chapel this week, an initiative that had set off debate on social media. A school spokesman and a Duke Muslim leader said that a serious and credible security threat played a role in the decision. 

The university had announced that Muslim students would chant the ‘adhan,’ the call to a weekly prayer service, from the Duke University Chapel bell tower each Friday. The sound of the call to prayer in Muslim communities is a standard part of ritual life on Muslims’ main prayer day. Theologically, it reminds Muslims “to worship God and serves as a reminder to serve our brothers and sisters in humanity,” Imam Adeel Zeb, Muslim chaplain at Duke, said in a news release. 

But reaction to the story off campus was swift. Some celebrated the decision. 

But many strongly opposed it. 

more at link


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## oakapple (Jan 16, 2015)

Who needs a wedding planner anyway? Everyone I know has planned their own wedding, thought only the super rich had these people.


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## oakapple (Jan 16, 2015)

In the case of the Lesbian couple mentioned, I'm sure they can find another planner. It would have been better if the planner had said she was booked up in the first place, without saying anything else.As I'm sure they do get booked up.


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## oakapple (Jan 16, 2015)

What I meant to say was, that it was rude of the planner to go into details of why she wouldn't  act for the couple.


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## Warrigal (Jan 16, 2015)

oakapple said:


> Who needs a wedding planner anyway? Everyone I know has planned their own wedding, thought only the super rich had these people.


My thoughts too. 
Dump them and tell your friends why.


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## Ramblin Rose (Jan 17, 2015)

Isn't it infringing on the rights of the wedding planner if she is expected to bow down and accept the beliefs of others rather than follow her own beliefs?


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## Warrigal (Jan 17, 2015)

Withdrawn because I misread the OP.
I now think the WP is the one being bullied.


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## oakapple (Jan 17, 2015)

It would have been best all round [for the couple AND the planner] if she had just said she was booked up, thus avoiding all this stuff, it would have been the sensible thing to do.Nobody is sensible any more though, they are too busy all shouting about their rights.


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## Vivjen (Jan 17, 2015)

I still don't really understand what a wedding planner does?
isn't it more fun to DIY; or are people just 'too busy'?


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## Ramblin Rose (Jan 17, 2015)

Vivjen I am a tv court case junkie and seems to me there are a lot of wedding planners being sued by unhappy couples.

Having a planner has become a status symbol of sorts and of course the Bridezillas have someone to blame if something goes wrong.


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## Vivjen (Jan 17, 2015)

Even less fun, RR...


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## Josiah (Jan 17, 2015)

Forget about what a planner does or whether you can do without a wedding planner, that's not the issue at stake here. This couple has been discriminated against they've been descriminated against all their life and members of the LGBT community are legitimately fed up with being discriminated against. This couple is bravely standing up for what they and I think are their rights.


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## Vivjen (Jan 17, 2015)

Do you live in one of the states that bans gay marriage or not, Josiah?
just interested....


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## Jackie22 (Jan 17, 2015)

Josiah09 said:


> Forget about what a planner does or whether you can do without a wedding planner, that's not the issue at stake here. This couple has been discriminated against they've been descriminated against all their life and members of the LGBT community are legitimately fed up with being discriminated against. This couple is bravely standing up for what they and I think are their rights.



Exactly....


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## ClassicRockr (Jan 17, 2015)

Well, I don't go along with the replies that say the WP has to serve everyone. It's HER business, she can refuse anyone. I've seen signs on business windows saying "we have the right to refuse service to .........." (whatever). Where we got a loan from, there is a sign on the front door that reads, "No firearms allowed" which would mean a concealed weapon.

However, it is true that if the WP would've just said the dates the couple wanted were not available, things wouldn't have gone south. But, some people want to be honest and tell the whole reason "why"


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## Cookie (Jan 17, 2015)

On a reverse note, I think it might be a good thing the gay couple found out the planner didn't approve of their lifestyle, because then they probably wouldn't have wanted her to plan the wedding anyway - that wouldn't have been a very good outcome since she might have done a bad job of it.


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## Josiah (Jan 17, 2015)

Vivjen said:


> Do you live in one of the states that bans gay marriage or not, Josiah?
> just interested....



Yes, sadly I do, but I have no doubt that the law will be changed.


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## Butterfly (Jan 17, 2015)

Here is my state, in 2013 the state Supreme Court ruled that a for profit wedding photographer cannot refuse service to a gay couple if the business offers services to the general public.

I believe the court ruled correctly.  To allow such discrimination would be on the proverbial "slippery slope" and cause all kinds of discrimination to be allowed on the basis of personal beliefs or prejudices.


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## oakapple (Jan 17, 2015)

This is strange isn't it, as over here, a shop manager/owner can refuse to serve you or the owner of a pub can also refuse to serve you [though of course not because you are gay!]


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## Vivjen (Jan 17, 2015)

I think that is a different law; being on private property....


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## ClassicRockr (Jan 17, 2015)

Well, look at the word "discrimination" this way........many people of the younger generation think that 55 Plus Communities are "discrimination", b/c only people 55 Plus can live in them. 

IMO, people use that word "discrimination" wayyyyyyyyy too much and use it to get what they want or try to get what they want. Saying the word "discrimination" can get people's attention very fast. Just use the word "discrimination" and the media shows up immediately!


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## LadyElaine (Jan 17, 2015)

If I was gay, I wouldn't want a wedding planner to plan my wedding if they thought it was wrong. I wouldn't want to give them my money or business.


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## hollydolly (Jan 17, 2015)

I agree Lady Elaine , and  that goes for anyone who has a problem with you.. really..whether it's discriminatory for any reason...or just that they are rude or treat you with disdain..you wouldn't dream of lining their pockets would you?


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## Josiah (Jan 17, 2015)

I will say this up front so that those of you who wish, can discount my comment. My eldest son is gay. The comment I wish to make pertains to why gay couples might wish to hire a wedding planner. The male gay subculture is extraordinarily into ceremonies and holidays. If you've ever attended a gay halloween party, and I have, every other halloween party pales in comparison. These are extremely imaginative and creative people and our culture is so much richer because of their presence. So when gays get married they're apt to be a little ostentatious (by my standards) but they want a well planned wedding. They've fought a long ugly battle to earn the right to marry and so they're very much inclined to have a truly memorable ceremony.


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## SeaBreeze (Jan 17, 2015)

Josiah09 said:


> The comment I wish to make pertains to why gay couples might wish to hire a wedding planner. The male gay subculture is extraordinarily into ceremonies and holidays. If you've ever attended a gay halloween party, and I have, every other halloween party pales in comparison. These are extremely imaginative and creative people and our culture is so much richer because of their presence. So when gays get married they're apt to be a little ostentatious (by my standards) but they want a well planned wedding. They've fought a long ugly battle to earn the right to marry and so they're very much inclined to have a truly memorable ceremony.



Well said, and if they desire to use a wedding planner they should be able to use one in their local vicinity like all other couples, without discrimination.  :applause2:


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## Butterfly (Jan 17, 2015)

Exactly.   That's the way the law reads.  A business in America, if it is a business offering services to the general public, by law cannot decide based on race, creed, color, national origin or ****** orientation whom it will or will not serve,.  Otherwise we are back to who can or can't sit at a lunch counter.


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