# What has surprised you the most about life?



## DebraMae (Aug 3, 2022)

My daughter asked what had most surprised me about my life.  I can think of several things, but the most recent would have to be that a couple of people from long ago have attempted to "make amends" for something that happened over fifty years ago.  One of them I didn't even remember.  What has surprised you?


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## Judycat (Aug 3, 2022)

How boring it can be. Even when on vacation.


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## JaniceM (Aug 3, 2022)

That I've lived this long.  I never actually thought about dying, but it never occurred to me I'd be 64 yrs old.


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## bowmore (Aug 3, 2022)

JaniceM said:


> That I've lived this long.  I never actually thought about dying, but it never occurred to me I'd be 64 yrs old.


I am 84 and even more surprised. I have been married to a fantastic lady for 15 years that makes life enjoyable.


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## Pepper (Aug 3, 2022)

I can't answer that.  Your question makes me want to cry, really cry, so I'd better back off.  Don't know why I'm having this reaction.


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## JaniceM (Aug 3, 2022)

bowmore said:


> I am 84 and even more surprised. I have been married to a fantastic lady for 15 years that makes life enjoyable.


Right on!  I hope you two have many happy years ahead!!


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## Pepper (Aug 3, 2022)

I will say:
How slow it seemed;
How quick it was


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## hollydolly (Aug 3, 2022)

Pepper said:


> I will say:
> How slow it seemed;
> How quick it was


Goodness, haven't _you_ just hit the nail on the head...


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## Bella (Aug 3, 2022)

How life can change in a heartbeat, or lack of one.


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## Paco Dennis (Aug 3, 2022)

I use to think everything was so simple. Now I have realized that life is immensely complex. I have quit having such strong desires and opinions. That has surprised me. Oh, and how vivid memories that have been forgotten can arise with a lot of clarity, i like these surprises. Having more pain than I expected though. We take the good with the bad.


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## Pinky (Aug 3, 2022)

How, as much as I strive to trust others, there have been a few I should never have trusted.
It has made me wary .. and I don't like feeling that way.


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## Gaer (Aug 3, 2022)

Pepper said:


> I can't answer that.  Your question makes me want to cry, really cry, so I'd better back off.  Don't know why I'm having this reaction.


I do.


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## Gaer (Aug 3, 2022)

What surprised me the most is whenI discovered everything is ALIVE!
Things FEEL!
When that realization hit me, I looked at everything differently.
I care for things more, feel more love and organization for my surroundings.
I take more care in every action, every thought.  
Every thought is so powerful!
and,
This aliveness will never end!


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## DebraMae (Aug 3, 2022)

JaniceM said:


> That I've lived this long.  I never actually thought about dying, but it never occurred to me I'd be 64 yrs old.


I can remember being young and thinking the year 2000 was so far away I would never make to that date.


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## DebraMae (Aug 3, 2022)

Paco Dennis said:


> I use to think everything was so simple. Now I have realized that life is immensely complex. I have quit having such strong desires and opinions. That has surprised me. Oh, and how vivid memories that have been forgotten can arise with a lot of clarity, i like these surprises. Having more pain than I expected though. We take the good with the bad.


Yeah, I used to think things were a lot more simple too.  I guess the up side of that is now I know they are never that simple I am not so opinionated or easily upset by the opinions of others.


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## JaniceM (Aug 3, 2022)

DebraMae said:


> I can remember being young and thinking the year 2000 was so far away I would never make to that date.


Like when Conan O'Brien's co-host Andy Richter did that tune about it...  or Melissa Etheridge's 'wake me up when we reach 2001'...


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## DebraMae (Aug 3, 2022)

Pinky said:


> How, as much as I strive to trust others, there have been a few I should never have trusted.
> It has made me wary .. and I don't like feeling that way.


I have trust issues too, Pinky, but I guess that is how we learn to protect ourselves.  But it is kind of sad.  I have probably closed some doors that I should have left open.


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## Jackie23 (Aug 3, 2022)

How quickly your life can change.
How much I have changed over the years, changed my way of thinking......thinking on what's important, thinking on what's real and what's false.
I have become much more careful on most all endeavors.
I have learned the importance of taking care of my health and possessions.

I might add one other thing that surprised me and that my wise mother told me many years ago and that is ...life is 90% work and 10% fun.


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## Lavinia (Aug 3, 2022)

Yes, Jackie, it's true. You think everything is settled and life is going to carry on in the same vein, when suddenly something unexpected happens and everything changes.


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## DebraMae (Aug 3, 2022)

Lavinia said:


> Yes, Jackie, it's true. You think everything is settled and life is going to carry on in the same vein, when suddenly something unexpected happens and everything changes.


Yes, it is the sudden and unexpected that always throws me, things I did not see coming.  And there I was overthinking everything and something sneaked right up on me.


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## jujube (Aug 3, 2022)

That I thought I knew it all at 18.  Realizing that I still don't know it all at 74.


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## David777 (Aug 3, 2022)

After living through the post WWII Cold War era here in the USA when our nation seemed to be on top of the world with a fantastic future and then the counter culture and Viet Nam War period, how utterly bad and sad much has turned out decades later due to the dominant selfish inconsiderate pursuit of wealth not just in our country but across the human world.


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## Pepper (Aug 3, 2022)

Gaer said:


> I do.


Well, don't just sit there!  Talk to me!


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## Timewise 60+ (Aug 3, 2022)

Similar to what Pepper said so well...

I have been surprised how fast life has passed by!   Seems to have slipped by in no time at all...


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## PamfromTx (Aug 3, 2022)

How fast the years went by.  I was just 45 ~ yesterday.  Or so it seems.


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## MarciKS (Aug 3, 2022)

How disappointing it is.


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## Murrmurr (Aug 3, 2022)

It surprised me to find out that my dad was wrong about a lot of things but my mom was right about almost everything. I honestly expected the other way around.


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## Tish (Aug 3, 2022)

That I am still here, as an adrenalin junkie, I used to go by the statement: Live fast, live hard and leave a good-looking corpse.
Never thought I would have children, let alone grandchildren and great-grandchildren.


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## DebraMae (Aug 3, 2022)

David777 said:


> After living through the post WWII Cold War era here in the USA when our nation seemed to be on top of the world with a fantastic future and then the counter culture and Viet Nam War period, how utterly bad and sad much has turned out decades later due to the dominant selfish inconsiderate pursuit of wealth not just in our country but across the human world.


So many times I hear my grandchildren use the word "generational" and I have to stop them and say no, the continued use of plastics, planned obsolescence, or whatever, is not generational, it is greed.


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## Jan14 (Aug 3, 2022)

How our actions and decisions are so critical in our life  journey.  That our time on this earth is very short and goes by so quickly.


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## Gaer (Aug 3, 2022)

PamfromTx said:


> How fast the years went by.  I was just 45 ~ yesterday.  Or so it seems.


YES!!!!  One moment you're 45.  The next moment you look in the mirror and say OMG!


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## officerripley (Aug 3, 2022)

How you can work yourself crazy trying to take care of your health, just trying everything and your health can still be terrible, just about no quality of life and there's not a darn thing you can do about it because it's heredity and dna.


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## Gaer (Aug 3, 2022)

Pepper said:


> Well, don't just sit there!  Talk to me!


You already KNOW!  and you don't want to go back there.
and,
You don't have to!  The past is the past, my friend.
(When I visualize you, I see you standing, screaming at the skies.)


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## RadishRose (Aug 3, 2022)

Tish said:


> That I am still here


I'm happy you are!


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## Pepper (Aug 3, 2022)

Gaer said:


> You already KNOW!  and you don't want to go back there.
> and,
> You don't have to!  The past is the past, my friend.
> (When I visualize you, I see you standing, screaming at the skies.)


Yes, I do know.  I remembered what I wanted to forget.  It was the shock & surprise of finding my husband dead.


Yes, I screamed at the sky.  I screamed "if you are here, give me a sign," and he did.  Immediately.  

eta
This happened a few months, or maybe as long as a year after the event.


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## RadishRose (Aug 3, 2022)

While playing outside as a child with my friends on  a cloudy day, suddenly the sun came out.

I was so disappointed, and that surprised me. I still don't understand.


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## DebraMae (Aug 3, 2022)

RadishRose said:


> While playing outside as a child with my friends on  a cloudy day, suddenly the sun came out.
> 
> I was so disappointed, and that surprised me. I still don't understand.


Cloudy days have a softness, an intimacy, a feeling of protection that sunny days do not provide for me.


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## Gaer (Aug 3, 2022)

Pepper said:


> Yes, I do know.  I remembered what I wanted to forget.  It was the shock & surprise of finding my husband dead.
> 
> Yes, I screamed at the sky.  I screamed "if you are here, give me a sign," and he did.  Immediately.


@Pepper, The night my husband died in my arms, I was lying in bed, crying.
I heard his voice at the end of the bed, calling my name. (Not psychically, but through my ears)
He was letting me know he was still there.

Apologize to the OP.  Don't want to get your thread off track.


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## RadishRose (Aug 3, 2022)

DebraMae said:


> Cloudy days have a softness, an intimacy, a feeling of protection that sunny days do not provide for me.


That sounds familiar... thanks @DebraMae


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## feywon (Aug 3, 2022)

Pepper said:


> I can't answer that.  Your question makes me want to cry, really cry, so I'd better back off.  Don't know why I'm having this reaction.


Maybe because as one Winnie the Pooh explained to another: "An ambush is a sort of surprise."?  Not everything unexpected is pleasant.


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## Nathan (Aug 3, 2022)

> What has surprised you the most about life?


...how my life has had "chapters" like a book, and each chapter has taken me down a different path.


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## MarciKS (Aug 3, 2022)

feywon said:


> Maybe because as one Winnie the Pooh explained to another: "An ambush is a sort of surprise."?  Not everything unexpected is pleasant.


I think all the bad things need to be replaced with an ambush of puppies or kittens.


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## feywon (Aug 3, 2022)

MarciKS said:


> I think all the bad things need to be replaced with an ambush of puppies or kittens.


Wouldn't that be lovely?


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## MarciKS (Aug 3, 2022)

feywon said:


> Wouldn't that be lovely?


I'd rather have had that than dealt with my mother dying.


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## feywon (Aug 3, 2022)

MarciKS said:


> I'd rather have had that than dealt with my mother dying.


Understandable.


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## dko1951 (Aug 3, 2022)

When "20001, A Space Odyssey" came out I said, "I'll be 50 by then, I'll be dead.


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## Della (Aug 3, 2022)

What surprised me the most was how little real life was like TV, the movies, or Ladies Home Journal.  For example I found out when I was 20 that being poor wasn't making your own clothes and having hamburger dishes instead of steak, it was not being able to afford fabric, or hamburger.


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## feywon (Aug 3, 2022)

Della said:


> What surprised me the most was how little real life was like TV, the movies, or Ladies Home Journal.  For example I found out when I was 20 that being poor wasn't making your own clothes and having hamburger dishes instead of steak, it was not being able to afford fabric, or hamburger.


See, i learned that early.  As toddler most of my clothes were made by Mom from  flower printed flour sacks. After my older sisters came to live with us and the age  gap meant their hand me downs wouldn't fit me for a couple of years she organized a clothing swap with neighbors. 

Being rural poor has it perks-- parents hunted, we all fished. We gave some of it to neighbors and let them fish off our dock, they gave us veggies at harvest time. Still there were times Mama would claim to be dieting to make sure us kids had enough.


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## DebraMae (Aug 3, 2022)

Della said:


> What surprised me the most was how little real life was like TV, the movies, or Ladies Home Journal.  For example I found out when I was 20 that being poor wasn't making your own clothes and having hamburger dishes instead of steak, it was not being able to afford fabric, or hamburger.


When I was very young and first married I can remember watching a salad dressing commercial on TV and thinking, "They probably just threw that salad away after they made that commercial".


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## hollydolly (Aug 3, 2022)

I think what's surprised me most about 'life' is  something that isn't alive as we know it, trying to warn me of impending disasters ... 

I get predictions in my dreams.. very real, frighteningly real that haunt  me over and over.. .. many times in my life, I get them over and over again.. take a warning, take heed... but altho' I talk about them to people I just feel that I'm not in any position to prevent what the dreams are telling me..

For example, from being a tiny child.. maybe from the age of 9 or 10 I would have dreams that my mother died.. I would be sobbing.. I was never a child who cried, very stoic child usually but this would make me sob , and my mother would come, and say there's no need to worry..but still I'd have the dreams her assurances didn't comfort me.... and sure enough when I was a teen she died.. 

In between those times..I've dreamt , those frightenly real and upsetting nightmares about other things which have all come to pass...

The most recent  was during the whole year of 2020 and half of 2021.. I had recurrent nightmares, probably twice a week. Again  so real, that I;d be calling out in my sleep, my husband would tell me he heard me calling..talking.. ... .. . It was always the same, my husband was  having an affair, he was going to do several other things that would cause me great anguish, and I'd wake up in a cold sweat, heart completely bursting from my chest, so much I would think I was about to have a heart attack..they were just as real as if they had happened already..

I'd relate the dream to him and he would assure me there was no chance of any of that happening, but still the dreams occurred, and eventually he would say.... I suppose I was doing wrong again in your dream last night..but I could never do that to you..

Out of the blue in the middle of 2021.. during the lockdown, I discovered he was indeed having an affair, and had been for several months.. and everything that played out in my nightmares went on to occur within days of me discovering.. horrendous situation which was completely out of my control...

I only give these 2 examples out of many in my life... because something.. ''someone'' it's warning me of things.. ahead of time.. things that are going to be the most devastating or things that I'm supposed to know... ... that's the biggest surprise for me in life,...and I wish if it;s about to happen whoever is warning me .. would have the power to stop it..

One day I'll discover who or what is behind it all


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## hollydolly (Aug 3, 2022)

feywon said:


> See, i learned that early.  As toddler most of my clothes were made by Mom from  flower printed flour sacks. After my older sisters came to live with us and the age  gap meant their hand me downs wouldn't fit me for a couple of years she organized a clothing swap with neighbors.
> 
> Being rural poor has it perks-- parents hunted, we all fished. We gave some of it to neighbors and let them fish off our dock, they gave us veggies at harvest time. Still there were times Mama would claim to be dieting to make sure us kids had enough.


WE were City kids.. poor as you can get, with a mother who ensured we lived in the best part of the city for appearances sake .. which meant no money left for proper food or clothing.. we were raggedy ass kids in the city..


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## DebraMae (Aug 3, 2022)

hollydolly said:


> WE were City kids.. poor as you can get, with a mother who ensured we lived in the best part of the city for appearances sake .. which meant no money left for proper food or clothing.. we were raggedy ass kids in the city..


I would think it would be worse in the city.  There is always the peer pressure and all the things you see around you that you are unable to have, or to do.


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## mrstime (Aug 3, 2022)

I guess that at almost 83 I'm still alive!


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## hollydolly (Aug 3, 2022)

DebraMae said:


> I would think it would be worse in the city.  There is always the peer pressure and all the things you see around you that you are unable to have, or to do.


yep absolutely which of course meant we were bullied a lot at school... which was fantastic.. ( saracasm ) because we'd go home and be on the receiving end of violence there too..


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## Pepper (Aug 3, 2022)

I think it is you @hollydolly who is behind it all.  Your life experiences gave you a lot of wisdom, although in a horrible manner.  You know people.  You know and look for, IMO, motivation.  You take what you see, what you intuit, what you know and your subconscious laps it up and spits it out in nightmares, or prophetic dreaming.  Takes you places your conscious doesn't want to go.


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## DebraMae (Aug 3, 2022)

Pepper said:


> I think it is you @hollydolly who is behind it all.  Your life experiences gave you a lot of wisdom, although in a horrible manner.  You know people.  You know and look for, IMO, motivation.  You take what you see, what you intuit, what you know and your subconscious laps it up and spits it out in nightmares, or prophetic dreaming.  Takes you places your conscious doesn't want to go.


I was trying to come up with the word for that and was having a senior moment and could not think of it.  It is EMPATH.  Some of us who were abused learned very early to be very tuned in to what was going on with those around us.  It was a way of protecting ourselves.  We probably do it unconsciously.


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## oldman (Aug 3, 2022)

What surprised me? That I flew commercial airlines for almost 34 years and never had an accident or as we call it, no bent metal. Not even an NTSB incident report filed. That’s a remarkable record that has earned me several kudos from my employer. I have gone before the NTSB twice to testify in other cases. The FAA is the tough cookie. I testified once before their board.

When I flew, I had two specific rules that I followed. 1. Never take chances with the weather. 2. Always take doing the checklists seriously.


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## DebraMae (Aug 3, 2022)

oldman said:


> What surprised me? That I flew commercial airlines for almost 34 years and never had an accident or as we call it, no bent metal. Not even an NTSB incident report filed. That’s a remarkable record that has earned me several kudos from my employer. I have gone before the NTSB twice to testify in other cases. The FAA is the tough cookie. I testified once before their board.
> 
> When I flew, I had two specific rules that I followed. 1. Never take chances with the weather. 2. Always take doing the checklists seriously.


That is a great record!  Yeah, I have heard they are tough and have a tendency to want to believe everything is "pilot error".


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## hollydolly (Aug 3, 2022)

DebraMae said:


> I was trying to come up with the word for that and was having a senior moment and could not think of it.  It is EMPATH.  Some of us who were abused learned very early to be very tuned in to what was going on with those around us.  It was a way of protecting ourselves.  We probably do it unconsciously.


Hmmmm... maybe, not sure about that tbh.. I can't possibly have known my mother was going to take her own life.. ... I didn't know for example many years later  that my father had died.. but I got told in my dreams.. ..altho' I might have had an inkling that my husband was someone who had cheating tendencies, I had no proof.... he always assured me these were just dreams.. terrible dreams..  he'd even make a joke and say ,  that I never had any good dreams about him... and I believed him..

...so I dunno about the theory from you 2 ladies .. ...I'm a realist.. but I cannot help believe there's something that we don't understand that follows us  in life..


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## Gary O' (Aug 3, 2022)

What has surprised you the most about life?​


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## feywon (Aug 3, 2022)

hollydolly said:


> WE were City kids.. poor as you can get, with a mother who ensured we lived in the best part of the city for appearances sake .. which meant no money left for proper food or clothing.. we were raggedy ass kids in the city..





DebraMae said:


> I would think it would be worse in the city.  There is always the peer pressure and all the things you see around you that you are unable to have, or to do.


That's what i meant about  perks to being country poor. The wealthy were a minority in our town.  Like the guy who ran the tennant farm racket. (He was also head of KKK.) Most folks in the town and county were poor.

If there was someone to either swim with or watch out for me i could usually be found in the river. Otherwise i'd be up our huge oak tree reading. Tho there were times when we kids were fishing (or gathering up Blue Claw crabs for our supper.

This is also why my eldest sister and i have some fond memories of those years, the middle two felt different about it.


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## Alligatorob (Aug 3, 2022)

Gary O' said:


> What has surprised you the most about life?


Thanks for this!!  I also worried about running into it as a kid... never really did I guess.


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## hollydolly (Aug 3, 2022)

feywon said:


> That's what i meant about  perks to being country poor. The wealthy were a minority in our town.  Like the guy who ran the tennant farm racket. (He was also head of KKK.) Most folks in the town and county were poor.
> 
> If there was someone to either swim with or watch out for me i could usually be found in the river. Otherwise i'd be up our huge oak tree reading. Tho there were times when we kids were fishing (or gathering up Blue Claw crabs for our supper.
> 
> This also why my eldest sister and i have some fond memories of those years, the middle two felt different about it.


Yes I understood your post.. which is why I replied with the city post.. and yes I can imagine that being poor in the country is a much easier prospect than the alternative in the city...  Even my mother  during the war she was evacuated alongside all the children in the orphanage to a farm in the country.. taken  from the grime , bomb ridden city..  ( she was 5 when war broke out.. ).. and  even when she had us kids she'd often talk about the great food they had in the countryside which wasn't available to them in the city.. fresh food which could be grown and picked, fresh milk straight from the cow unpasteurized etc.. when everything in the city was on severe ration.. and even when it wasn't it was expensive


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## Blessed (Aug 3, 2022)

DebraMae said:


> Cloudy days have a softness, an intimacy, a feeling of protection that sunny days do not provide for me.


I agree totally, I love those days, even more so in the winter.


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## Blessed (Aug 3, 2022)

PamfromTx said:


> How fast the years went by.  I was just 45 ~ yesterday.  Or so it seems.
> 
> My 45th year was the last year of life as I knew it.  My husband was diagnosed
> with cancer when we were 46.  Since that day life became a tornado, horrible storms that have never stopped in my life.  Loss after loss. Not being able to function as I once did when everyone was here.


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## Lewkat (Aug 3, 2022)

When I was a young (17) nursing student, and observed a baby being born for the first time in my life.  I burst into tears.  I really don't know what I expected, as I was totally naive about life in general and had never given it a thought.  I witnessed my first miracle and it has never left me.


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## Packerjohn (Aug 3, 2022)

Two things I learned about life:
1. There sure are a lot of strange people who figure that the one who dies with the most toys is the winner.
2. The older I get the better the sex is; I never get tired of that!


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## palides2021 (Aug 3, 2022)

Bella said:


> How life can change in a heartbeat, or lack of one.


Your statement hit home with me, @Bella. Losing my husband unexpectedly was a big surprise in my life. I also want to add @Gaer - about your husband dying in your arms, and @Pepper's loss. I can relate to you all. Hugs from afar.....


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## MarciKS (Aug 3, 2022)

hollydolly said:


> I think what's surprised me most about 'life' is  something that isn't alive as we know it, trying to warn me of impending disasters ...
> 
> I get predictions in my dreams.. very real, frighteningly real that haunt  me over and over.. .. many times in my life, I get them over and over again.. take a warning, take heed... but altho' I talk about them to people I just feel that I'm not in any position to prevent what the dreams are telling me..
> 
> ...


Sometimes I think it's God's way of communicating things to us. I've had some dreams that I had over and over and they came true later in life. It's very unnerving.


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## Della (Aug 4, 2022)

Gary O' said:


> What has surprised you the most about life?​
> View attachment 232727


LOL I'm sure glad we didn't know about sinkholes.


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## Pappy (Aug 4, 2022)

Sitting in school in the 40s wondering if I’d ever live until I’m 60. I sure shattered the hell out of that. I’ll be 85 in November and still don’t know how I got here.


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## JustDave (Aug 4, 2022)

oldman said:


> What surprised me? That I flew commercial airlines for almost 34 years and never had an accident or as we call it, no bent metal.
> 
> When I flew, I had two specific rules that I followed. 1. Never take chances with the weather. 2. Always take doing the checklists seriously.


Was that something they drilled into you, or something you just did on your own?


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## Ronni (Aug 4, 2022)

Paco Dennis said:


> I use to think everything was so simple. Now I have realized that life is immensely complex. I have quit having such strong desires and opinions. That has surprised me. Oh, and how vivid memories that have been forgotten can arise with a lot of clarity, i like these surprises. Having more pain than I expected though. We take the good with the bad.


This is fascinating because I feel exactly the opposite, life has gotten simpler and simpler as I’ve aged.

I think though that has come about for me as I’ve become more self aware and realized a couple of things which have become fundamental to my approach to life.

One is that I’m an over thinker. I have a tendency to over-think every damn thing! Which of COURSE is going to complicate even the simplest thoughts, decisions and choices. Lessening my impulse to overthink has created more simplicity in my life.

The other thing is that I’ve realized I can control NO ONE but myself. Thinking I can, feeling compelled to try and manage others, even though my intention is just to be helpful, is inappropriate and frustrating and none of my business! My only business lies in controlling myself, in not letting my knee jerk reactions become my actual response, in keeping my nose out of others’ affairs.

As an aside, it DOES help that my own personal give-a-damn broke a few years back so I no longer care what others think of me, and there’s an immense amount of liberation in that!


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## hollydolly (Aug 4, 2022)

Pappy said:


> Sitting in school in the 40s wondering if I’d ever live until I’m 60. I sure shattered the hell out of that. I’ll be 85 in November and still don’t know how I got here.


I was entirely convinced all my young life, and right up until I was 45 that, that was when I was going to die. I just couldn't see myself past that lofty age, so I never even thought about being older..


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## Pinky (Aug 4, 2022)

hollydolly said:


> I was entirely convinced all my young life, and right up until I was 45 that, that was when I was going to die. I just couldn't see myself past that lofty age, so I never even thought about being older..


@hollydolly 

I thought I wouldn't live to see 30. It sounded so old to me. I am turning 75 this Fall.


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## JustDave (Aug 4, 2022)

Ronni said:


> This is fascinating because I feel exactly the opposite, life has gotten simpler and simpler as I’ve aged.
> 
> I think though that has come about for me as I’ve become more self aware and realized a couple of things which have become fundamental to my approach to life.
> 
> ...


All of this resonates with me very much.  I was going to comment on the last paragraph, but while trying to find the words, I have to agree with that one too.


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## hollydolly (Aug 4, 2022)

Pinky said:


> @hollydolly
> 
> I thought I wouldn't live to see 30. It sounded so old to me. I am turning 75 this Fall.


I am not kidding Pinks..I cried on my 30th Birthday.. I'm not a snowflake , lol..  there was other things that had gone wrong at that time too.. but I really felt I was over the hill now I was 30...


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## JustDave (Aug 4, 2022)

DebraMae said:


> I would think it would be worse in the city.  There is always the peer pressure and all the things you see around you that you are unable to have, or to do.


You would think so.  I grew up in Chicago.  Those were my formative years.  I didn't like it and left for Montana when I was 17, where I made many new friends in a comfortable new niche. But local society changed as I got older.  In mid life, I became friends with a couple from a big city who had moved to the area.  Now these were country folk at heart, and eventually moved on to the Alaskan bush country.

But we were talking about the differences between city and country, and they observed that, "In the city people minded their own business, and didn't care what others did."  That did not reflect the formative years I remembered in Chicago, and I still puzzle today over whether they nailed an actual difference, or just a personal experience.

Maybe part of it has to do with what part of life you are in.  Although, I cannot imagine ever living in a big city ever again, as attractive as they made it sound, but from which those friends of mine escaped anyway.


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## feywon (Aug 4, 2022)

Have been mulling this over as i read and responded to the comments  of others. Usually when questions like this are asked i'm flooded with thoughts and feelings and can easily answer.  But not this time.

Perhaps because i had few expectations, few things surprised me and what did was usually pleasant: That an adult or peer really *saw* and *heard* me (1 aunt on each side of family, paternal grandma, a couple of teachers, my best friend from junior year high school on.); First husband's ability to control his temper during my pregnancy; Finding out years later that not only had someone thought better of me then i imagined but something i said or did that was standard for me had helped them in some way.

Might be just a semantic  issue but while the *timing* of two deaths (DH #1 in'78 & Mom in '85) shocked me they i would not have called them surprising.


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## feywon (Aug 4, 2022)

@JustDave related someone he knew saying "In the city people minded their own business, and didn't care what others did."  True, but there's  an up and downside to that.

In NYC in late 1960s i watched several  people go around and a few of them step right over a body on a sidewalk.  He was clearly* not* a homeless person, as he was dressed in business attire, good suit and tie. Won't bore y'all with details but i made the clerk at nearest store call for paramedics.  On another note police were actually recommending women being assaulted scream 'FIRE' not 'RAPE' or 'HELP' because self-interest that a fire might spread and effect a better motivation for them to call.

Rural living may vary by locale, but while some might gossip about you they'll usually lend a hand when needed. i've heard one is newcomer for years in New England, in the Bible Belt they often welcome you, but that may be in part gather info. Here in my little community people have been friendly and helpful but not intrusive.


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## JustDave (Aug 4, 2022)

feywon said:


> @JustDave related someone he knew saying "In the city people minded their own business, and didn't care what others did."  True, but there's  an up and downside to that.
> 
> In NYC in late 1960s i watched several  people go around and a few of them step right over a body on a sidewalk.  He was clearly* not* a homeless person, as he was dressed in business attire, good suit and tie. Won't bore y'all with details but i made the clerk at nearest store call for paramedics.  On another note police were actually recommending women being assaulted scream 'FIRE' not 'RAPE' or 'HELP' because self-interest that a fire might spread and effect a better motivation for them to call.
> 
> Rural living may vary by locale, but while some might gossip about you they'll usually lend a hand when needed. i've heard one is newcomer for years in New England, in the Bible Belt they often welcome you, but that may be in part gather info. Here in my little community people have been friendly and helpful but not intrusive.


I think you are right about all of this.  My story was strictly anecdotal and not meant to be a universal truth.  Personal experiences seldom have universal truth in them.


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## Serenity4321 (Aug 4, 2022)

DebraMae said:


> I can remember being young and thinking the year 2000 was so far away I would never make to that date.


LOL I remember sitting outside my High School building before I started and thinking.._good grief..I will be going here for the rest of my life  _


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## fuzzybuddy (Aug 4, 2022)

When I was 18, I feared losing my life.  I was afraid of death. Now, I'm 76, and I intend to celebrate my second 100th birthday, but I don't fear death.
Others gave us life, and we used it, and we passed life on.


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## Serenity4321 (Aug 4, 2022)

PamfromTx said:


> How fast the years went by.  I was just 45 ~ yesterday.  Or so it seems.


Every time I reach a decade I feel I have aged 10 years overnight... Honestly, the 'worst' was 30..I thought .._oh dear I really am going to get old_  No birthday has ever been that traumatic since


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## Serenity4321 (Aug 4, 2022)

jujube said:


> That I thought I knew it all at 18.  Realizing that I still don't know it all at 74.


I find what is really interesting is the more I learn, the more I realize how much I still do not know...


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## hollydolly (Aug 4, 2022)

feywon said:


> @JustDave related someone he knew saying "In the city people minded their own business, and didn't care what others did."  True, but there's  an up and downside to that.
> 
> In NYC in late 1960s i watched several  people go around and a few of them step right over a body on a sidewalk.  He was clearly* not* a homeless person, as he was dressed in business attire, good suit and tie. Won't bore y'all with details but i made the clerk at nearest store call for paramedics.  On another note police were actually recommending women being assaulted scream 'FIRE' not 'RAPE' or 'HELP' because self-interest that a fire might spread and effect a better motivation for them to call.
> 
> Rural living may vary by locale, but while some might gossip about you they'll usually lend a hand when needed. i've heard one is newcomer for years in New England, in the Bible Belt they often welcome you, but that may be in part gather info. Here in my little community people have been friendly and helpful but not intrusive.


All so very True.. and you're absolutely right, even here in the city where  I grew up , women were told to scream FIRE instead of Rape.. for the same reasons as you gave


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## hollydolly (Aug 4, 2022)

Serenity4321 said:


> I find what is really interesting is the more I learn, the more I realize how much I still do not know...


yes I find that too.. and I think to myself I have to rush and learn more before I die... and then I think... errm... for what reason?.. I can't take it with me


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## feywon (Aug 4, 2022)

JustDave said:


> I think you are right about all of this.  My story was strictly anecdotal and not meant to be a universal truth.  Personal experiences seldom have universal truth in them.


True.  My village is a good fit for DD and myself. Others might feel isolated, but we know folks we can ask if need help. And fences so far from our houses we talk more when cross paths publicly.  Which means if anyone being overly chatty  it is easier to make an excuse  to bow out.


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## DebraMae (Aug 4, 2022)

hollydolly said:


> yes I find that too.. and I think to myself I have to rush and learn more before I die... and then I think... errm... for what reason?.. I can't take it with me


I have had that same exact thought - I can't die yet, there is still too much I don't know.


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## Paco Dennis (Aug 4, 2022)

One thing that has suprised me the most is that "Existence" seems to be real.


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## WheatenLover (Aug 4, 2022)

hollydolly said:


> I am not kidding Pinks..I cried on my 30th Birthday.. I'm not a snowflake , lol..  there was other things that had gone wrong at that time too.. but I really felt I was over the hill now I was 30...


My 25th birthday was when I felt I was over the hill. Turning 30 didn't bother me at all.

What surprised me about life was how life-changing events could happen, totally unexpectedly. Whenever I make big changes in my life, I wonder whether they will turn out to be a wonderful life-changing event.


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## hollydolly (Aug 4, 2022)

WheatenLover said:


> My 25th birthday was when I felt I was over the hill. Turning 30 didn't bother me at all.


I was like that at 40... didn't turn a hair..  but when I got to 45.. I expected to die any time that year. ..thank Goodness that didn;t happen because I bought a house that year..


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## DebraMae (Aug 4, 2022)

Paco Dennis said:


> One thing that has suprised me the most is that "Existence" seems to be real.


Will you give me a little clarification on what you mean?


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## Paco Dennis (Aug 4, 2022)

DebraMae said:


> Will you give me a little clarification on what you mean?


First of all, I feel like it is beyond comprehension that there is a universe with a small planet that is teaming with life. I was first surprised about this after my Mother died when I was 13. She existed and then she didn't. Where did she go.? Was she ever really here? The whole thing is an absolute mystery, and I doubt we will understand existence for 1000's of years even if we make it through the Anthropocene age.

Secondly we are discovering that existence is mostly made of space, and that the "material" things like quarks and other forces might not even be physical as we understand it. So, put together this "life" in and of itself is the biggest surprise.


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## DebraMae (Aug 4, 2022)

Paco Dennis said:


> First of all, I feel like it is beyond comprehension that there is a universe with a small planet that is teaming with life. I was first surprised about this after my Mother died when I was 13. She existed and then she didn't. Where did she go.? Was she ever really here? The whole thing is an absolute mystery, and I doubt we will understand existence for 1000's of years even if we make it through the Anthropocene age.
> 
> Secondly we are discovering that existence is mostly made of space, and that the "material" things like quarks and other forces that might not even be physical as we understand it. So, put together this "life" in and of itself is the biggest surprise.


Thanks.  Greater minds than mine will be debating this for a long time, I am sure.  What is life?  I had a similar thought when my Mother died.  I looked around at all of her "things" that still existed, and she did not.  It was inconceivable. Perhaps she still exists somewhere, perhaps not.  Some say we will know when we die.  I am not so sure.


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## DaveA (Aug 4, 2022)

In my case, how wonderful it's been.  I'll be 89 come December, my wife is 86 and if we both live
'til next Feb.we'll have been married for 67 years.
13 grandkids and 14 great grands.  All but one of the grandkids live within a 2 hour driving distance so visits, Holidays, illness and such tend to bring us all together.
I've been retired for 30 years and they have been good and happy years. 

I guess my greatest move was meeting and marrying that young 17 yr' old girl now known as "Gram" , to our big crowd of off-spring.


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## Pepper (Aug 4, 2022)

DebraMae said:


> Some say we will know when we die.


That's tricky.  How does one "know" nothing?


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## win231 (Aug 4, 2022)

How rampant greed & dishonesty are.


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## DebraMae (Aug 4, 2022)

Pepper said:


> That's tricky.  How does one "know" nothing?


What do you mean?


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## Alligatorob (Aug 4, 2022)

win231 said:


> How rampant greed & dishonesty are.


I am surprised its not more common.  I find most people honest and decent.


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## Been There (Aug 5, 2022)

I am surprised that I have done as well as I have with not having my parents since I was 9 years of age. I had 2 really good grandparents that raised me and made sure that I was raised properly in a Christian family. If I had been placed in an orphanage, I don't know where I would have ended up. I would hear my friends complain about their parents and that would sometimes bother me and I would begin to say something and then bite my tongue.


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## Pepper (Aug 5, 2022)

DebraMae said:


> What do you mean?


You said, DebraMae "Some say we will know when we die" & I replied "How does one "know" nothing?" 

I meant when we die we go into a state of nothing, of non-existence.  Thus, you can't know anything, there is no knowledge to impart to one that doesn't exist.  So, we can't "know" anything if we don't exist.  If one always believed in the afterlife and dies to nothingness we can't know anything when we die, whether wrong or right in one's living speculations.


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## JustDave (Aug 5, 2022)

Some say we will know when we die, but it doesn't matter what anyone says, because we don't know what happens when we die.  No one does, but it would be nice if we would somehow live on in a state of bliss.  However, just because it would be nice doesn't mean that's what happens.  What we do know is that immediately upon death, our bodies stop repairing themselves, and our cells, including the ones in our brains, stop sending out the chemical and electrical signals that form our thoughts and memories, while they decay and return to their atomic parts.  That is all we know.  Beyond that, is there something else?  No one knows.  Believing what you don't know to be true, is called wishful thinking.  It's comforting to be sure.  Therefore, some make the claim that they actually know the answer to what may be the biggest mystery in life.  But no one actually knows, let alone probably fully comprehends nothingness.  We have experienced things ever since we were born, and it's almost impossible to imagine nothingness.  Try to remember experiencing anything before you were conceived.  That's our default state and it's not unreasonable to accept that this is what we return to when we die.


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## fuzzybuddy (Aug 18, 2022)

What amazes me about life? How much doesn't matter? When I think of all the time, energy, and money wasted on worrying about stuff that didn't matter.  All of life's minor irritations don't matter. Snide remarks, etc.-don't matter.


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## Ruthanne (Aug 18, 2022)

Humankind's inhumanity to humankind.


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## Lara (Aug 18, 2022)

How long Life seems at one moment and how short it seems at another is always a surprise.


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## Pepper (Aug 18, 2022)

I'm glad this thread came back up.  I wanted to mention the fall of the soviet union as a xmas gift in 1991.  I never thought I'd live to see that happen.  Most surprised.  Not anymore, it's ba-a-a-a-ack.


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## Lara (Aug 18, 2022)

RadishRose said:


> While playing outside as a child with my friends on  a cloudy day, suddenly the sun came out. I was so disappointed, and that surprised me. I still don't understand.


Maybe you're one of those fragile doves. If someone is going to completely change things from cloudy to sunny, from one mood to another, then you'd appreciate a little time to prepare. Some of us just don't like surprises...well intentioned or not


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## NorthernLight (Aug 18, 2022)

In the time and place where I grew up, men worked and women stayed home. I expected that my life would be like this, or that my husband and I would work together, e.g., in a family business.

I never dreamed about a career, money, travel, kids, or the things most people want. Most things I've done in life were just side trips or stopgaps while I waited for my real life to happen. It never did. I'm not sure why.

(I have been married, but unsuccessfully.)

So now I'm surprised to find that I've wasted my whole life on an impossible dream.


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## hollydolly (Aug 18, 2022)

JustDave said:


> Some say we will know when we die, but it doesn't matter what anyone says, because we don't know what happens when we die.  No one does, but it would be nice if we would somehow live on in a state of bliss.  However, just because it would be nice doesn't mean that's what happens.  What we do know is that immediately upon death, our bodies stop repairing themselves, and our cells, including the ones in our brains, stop sending out the chemical and electrical signals that form our thoughts and memories, while they decay and return to their atomic parts.  That is all we know.  Beyond that, is there something else?  No one knows.  Believing what you don't know to be true, is called wishful thinking.  It's comforting to be sure.  Therefore, some make the claim that they actually know the answer to what may be the biggest mystery in life.  But no one actually knows, let alone probably fully comprehends nothingness.  We have experienced things ever since we were born, and it's almost impossible to imagine nothingness.  Try to remember experiencing anything before you were conceived.  That's our default state and it's not unreasonable to accept that this is what we return to when we die.


Actually many people know what it's like to die.. then been resuscitated...


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## SeniorBen (Aug 18, 2022)

Ruthanne said:


> Humankind's inhumanity to humankind.


Yep, history is replete with examples of inhumanity, but I was under the impression (or delusion) that we had finally evolved and were now above that kind of thing. Turns out, I was wrong. Surprise, surprise! People are just as bad now as they were during WWII.


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## funsearcher! (Aug 18, 2022)

What has surprised me is how different we are from each other, and yet how much we are the same. Having tolerance is different than having acceptance and appreciation for our differences. No one can ever know what it is like to be another person. You can try to imagine, but ultimately we are each alone in our perceptions and experiences and values.


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## JustDave (Aug 18, 2022)

hollydolly said:


> Actually many people know what it's like to die.. then been resuscitated...


In near death experiences, the operative word is "near," meaning it's not death.  Doctors may tell patients they died, but then were brought back to life, and that makes for a good conversation starter for the patient.  But once a person dies, he's dead and cannot become alive, even if someone says he did.  During near death experiences, oxygen to the brain stops.  Impaired thinking and hallucinations follow.  This is reported as what it is like when you're dead.  If someone burried for a year in the ground is brought back to life and reports his adventures, then I'll be interested.


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## Patricia (Aug 18, 2022)

Just to think when people first come into the world everything is a surprise.


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## RadishRose (Aug 18, 2022)

Lara said:


> Maybe you're one of those fragile doves. If someone is going to completely change things from cloudy to sunny, from one mood to another, then you'd appreciate a little time to prepare. Some of us just don't like surprises...well intentioned or not


Thanks Lara. I bet that's it!


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## Lara (Aug 18, 2022)

NorthernLight said:


> In the time and place where I grew up, men worked and women stayed home. I expected that my life would be like this, or that my husband and I would work together, e.g., in a family business. I never dreamed about a career, money, travel, kids, or the things most people want. Most things I've done in life were just side trips or stopgaps while I waited for my real life to happen. It never did. I'm not sure why. (I have been married, but unsuccessfully.) *So now I'm surprised to find that I've wasted my whole life on an impossible dream.*


Joni Mitchell you'll recall wrote the song "Both Sides Now" about life's illusions. It was sad and she said she really didn't know Life at all. But hidden in one line toward the end she said, "Well something's lost, but something's gained in living every day". I'm sure you've gained.

Your whole life has not been wasted. Think about it...career, travel, money, kids, and men are not all that life is about...thank goodness!...because those don't always turn out to be the best things in life for YOU...by far. Think back to the things you learned, the small things that brought you joy, etc. Maybe your "impossible dream" wasn't the best thing meant for you. I know you can rethink this and end up with a feeling of gratitude and relief that you didn't get that "impossible dream"...it could have been all wrong for you.


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## Been There (Aug 19, 2022)

fuzzybuddy said:


> When I was 18, I feared losing my life.  I was afraid of death. Now, I'm 76, and I intend to celebrate my second 100th birthday, but I don't fear death.
> Others gave us life, and we used it, and we passed life on.


Why would anyone fear death? We are all born to die.


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## WheatenLover (Aug 19, 2022)

Been There said:


> Why would anyone fear death? We are all born to die.


Mostly I think it is fear of the unknown, and fear of having a painful or otherwise difficult death. Or maybe they love life so much that they just want to stay alive. They are afraid they will die before they are ready to lose their lives.


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## WheatenLover (Aug 19, 2022)

JustDave said:


> We have experienced things ever since we were born, and it's almost impossible to imagine nothingness.  Try to remember experiencing anything before you were conceived.  That's our default state and it's not unreasonable to accept that this is what we return to when we die.


I view the nothingness as though death were a light that has been switched off.


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## JustDave (Aug 19, 2022)

WheatenLover said:


> Mostly I think it is fear of the unknown, and fear of having a painful or otherwise difficult death. Or maybe they love life so much that they just want to stay alive. They are afraid they will die before they are ready to lose their lives.





WheatenLover said:


> I view the nothingness as though death were a light that has been switched off.


I'm sure there are complex reasons for fearing death.  When I was young, I went to funerals of loved ones, and saw them lying there in coffins lifeless, cold, gone, and soon to be buried.  All the love they had shared and all the good they did was over, and all was gone forever.  It seems like a bitter unavoidable pill to look forward to, and we cannot relate to no longer being alive because it is the only thing we have ever known.  We believe we are too important to cease to exist, until we realize that when we cease to exist we won't be aware of ceasing to exist.  Oblivion is our default state and has been for all but a weak flash in an infinitesimally small part of eternity.  We are going home to the way we were, just stardust and nothing more and we will remain that way until the universe ends and the stardust is gone, and we won't so much as leave one carbon footprint.


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## hollydolly (Aug 19, 2022)

WheatenLover said:


> I view the nothingness as though death were a light that has been switched off.


I'm sure most people don't fear Death itself, but the horror of dying in Pain...


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## Michael Z (Aug 19, 2022)

What surprised me most was the fact that I could actually live a decent respectable life. The first 28 years were a bit rocky due to my alcohol abuse, to say the least. I did indeed become a New Creation in Christ.


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## JustDave (Aug 19, 2022)

Yeah, I wasted too many years drinking myself into an alcoholic fix.  It was a pure waste of time.  Sure glad that's behind me.


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## caroln (Aug 19, 2022)

I'm surprised by how much I turned out looking like my mother!  

I'm surprised that humanity hasn't evolved more than it has.


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## WheatenLover (Aug 19, 2022)

I am surprised that my mother died. I knew she was dying in my head, I'd talked to the doctors and read a book about the dying process.

But when she died, I was surprised because, in my heart, I never thought she would.


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## Don M. (Aug 19, 2022)

As I get older, I am constantly surprised how fast the days seem to pass.  It seems that every few days I have to flip the calendar to the next month.


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## Been There (Aug 19, 2022)

WheatenLover said:


> Mostly I think it is fear of the unknown, and fear of having a painful or otherwise difficult death. Or maybe they love life so much that they just want to stay alive. They are afraid they will die before they are ready to lose their lives.


Yeah, I guess that’s all possible. I would be safe in saying we have all known someone that died before their time and it’s sad when we are sitting at the service and the minister makes it a point by saying the person has left us too soon or before his time or anything that reflects that. We all know that we aren’t guaranteed any specific amount of time here on earth and have heard that we should all live today as if it was our last. I never have given death much thought other than what to do with my remains.

If you were ever in the service and in a battle or firefight, you are at danger of having your candle put out before your time. We know that and we accept that as a possibility. Fear drives us to kill the enemy before the enemy kills us. The irony is that the enemy is thinking the same thing.


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## DebraMae (Aug 19, 2022)

WheatenLover said:


> Mostly I think it is fear of the unknown, and fear of having a painful or otherwise difficult death. Or maybe they love life so much that they just want to stay alive. They are afraid they will die before they are ready to lose their lives.


I have always thought I am not afraid to die, just afraid of what I may have to endure before I get there.


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## MountainRa (Aug 19, 2022)

It has surprised me to learn how easily close family relationships (aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.) simply fade away as as one approaches one’s senior years.


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## spectratg (Aug 19, 2022)

I am surprised, and happy, that my daughters are such great mothers!  They are so patient with the little ones.  It is a great testament to my late wife, certainly not to me.


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## dseag2 (Aug 19, 2022)

I have been surprised at how nostalgic I've become as I've gotten older.  I'm not a nostalgic person.  I have always moved on from the past and looked toward the future.

I've recently reached out on Facebook to some high school friends and friends I knew in the 80's and they have responded in a very warm and welcoming way.  Now we just have to figure out how to capsulize over 40 years of our lives that have happened in the interim.


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## Happy Heart (Aug 19, 2022)

hollydolly said:


> I think what's surprised me most about 'life' is  something that isn't alive as we know it, trying to warn me of impending disasters ...
> 
> I get predictions in my dreams.. very real, frighteningly real that haunt  me over and over.. .. many times in my life, I get them over and over again.. take a warning, take heed... but altho' I talk about them to people I just feel that I'm not in any position to prevent what the dreams are telling me..
> 
> ...


I've also had several experiences like that so you are not alone.  There is a name for it but I can't recall what it is so I'll have to do some research.  Maybe Google meaning of dreams or premonitions.  
My ex-husband was on my mind a lot for several days so I decided to call him only to find out he had been in an accident in Mexico and just returned to the States.  As a young bride I was puzzled why I had a dream about another man in my closet, second time worked out much better with wisdom and careful choice.
Other times, for several months I had a dream I was hit by a truck in an intersection, it happened about a year on.


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## Happy Heart (Aug 19, 2022)

DebraMae said:


> I was trying to come up with the word for that and was having a senior moment and could not think of it.  It is EMPATH.  Some of us who were abused learned very early to be very tuned in to what was going on with those around us.  It was a way of protecting ourselves.  We probably do it unconsciously.


Exactly, we know to keep our mouth shut and always be on alert.  It has served me well when reading some situations and now my husband seems to know to listen when I see things differently.  
My parents were divorced when I was four, six months later my dad died.  A fuzzy time for a while but eventually we could go play with the neighborhood kids again.  I will never forget them laughing as they said "ha, ha, ha, your daddy is died".  Their cruelty cut so deep and to this day I can't understand it.  Other people's cruelty (just watch the evening news) still confounds me.  Grandma was sent to the U.S. from Lviv when she was 14, today the war is just as painful to me....Why?


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## Happy Heart (Aug 19, 2022)

JustDave said:


> You would think so.  I grew up in Chicago.  Those were my formative years.  I didn't like it and left for Montana when I was 17, where I made many new friends in a comfortable new niche. But local society changed as I got older.  In mid life, I became friends with a couple from a big city who had moved to the area.  Now these were country folk at heart, and eventually moved on to the Alaskan bush country.
> 
> But we were talking about the differences between city and country, and they observed that, "In the city people minded their own business, and didn't care what others did."  That did not reflect the formative years I remembered in Chicago, and I still puzzle today over whether they nailed an actual difference, or just a personal experience.
> 
> Maybe part of it has to do with what part of life you are in.  Although, I cannot imagine ever living in a big city ever again, as attractive as they made it sound, but from which those friends of mine escaped anyway.


I totally agree with them.  City people are too busy and there are so many around they don't have enough time to stick their nose where it doesn't belong.  Now, living in a smaller city I have learned to not say much to my neighbors because they gossip so much but there are a few who are the salt of the earth types.


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## Jules (Aug 19, 2022)

I never thought the year 2000 could arrive and I’d be 52.  It was just too far away; it still is, in the other direction.


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## Mr. Ed (Aug 20, 2022)

Exiting the womb


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## Remy (Aug 20, 2022)

More of a shock and sad realization. But when I had to come to terms that my one brother, the one who I thought understood what we went through as children, had himself become some kind of personality disorder and is abusive.


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## DebraMae (Aug 21, 2022)

It has surprised me how much I enjoy living alone.  I love the freedom of doing what I want to do when I want to do it.  I never had that freedom before.


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## BiffH (Aug 21, 2022)

Judycat said:


> How boring it can be. Even when on vacation.


I’m bored mist of the time. Have you found any solutions?


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## Lara (Aug 21, 2022)

BiffH said:


> I’m bored most of the time. Have you found any solutions?



I know you're asking Judycat but we all probably have different answers to that.

For me, when I get bored, I figure it's because I'm boring. So I try to change it up by coming up with something to do or work on that that will interest me which, when shared, will in turn likely interest others...and that becomes interesting. It's more interesting to work at being really good at it or a bit of an expert at it.

The challenge takes away any boredom. Of course there are those who won't be interested at all...that's okay because there are enough who will....and I for one will not be bored.


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## Judycat (Aug 21, 2022)

BiffH said:


> I’m bored mist of the time. Have you found any solutions?


No. I'm sorry, there's only so much excitement in life.


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## Aprilbday12 (Aug 22, 2022)

DebraMae said:


> My daughter asked what had most surprised me about my life.  I can think of several things, but the most recent would have to be that a couple of people from long ago have attempted to "make amends" for something that happened over fifty years ago.  One of them I didn't even remember.  What has surprised you?



I am surprised at how much God loves us because us people can really suck. I am just surprised by His mercy and grace.


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## Aprilbday12 (Aug 22, 2022)

JustDave said:


> All of this resonates with me very much.  I was going to comment on the last paragraph, but while trying to find the words, I have to agree with that one too.


I am surprised at God’s love for us. I am surprised by His mercy and grace. We are to love one another as God loves us…. It’s very challenging to love some of these folks I see, know or meet. Very hard.


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## Lara (Aug 22, 2022)

Aprilbday12 said:


> I am surprised at God’s love for us. I am surprised by His mercy and grace. We are to love one another as God loves us…. It’s very challenging to love some of these folks I see, know or meet. Very hard.


There are 3 kinds of Love...(Greek)
1. Brotherly Love (Philia)
2. Romantic Love (Eros)
3. God's Unconditional Love (Agape)

It's natural for it to be a challenge for us to love the unloveable.
I also have trouble loving the unlovable so I prayerfully love them with God's love (Agape love). 
It's harder to love the unloveable....and easy to love the loveable. 
But we will receive extra blessings for doing what is harder in obedience.
`


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## squatting dog (Aug 26, 2022)




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## Gary O' (Sep 1, 2022)

DebraMae said:


> What has surprised you?


Thought getting old would take longer


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## fuzzybuddy (Sep 3, 2022)

Don M. said:


> As I get older, I am constantly surprised how fast the days seem to pass.  It seems that every few days I have to flip the calendar to the next month.


I know what you mean. It seems like yesterday that I had to get a new AC, because summer was coming. Then BANG, it's SEPTEMBER!


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## officerripley (Sep 3, 2022)

MountainRa said:


> It has surprised me to learn how easily close family relationships (aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.) simply fade away as as one approaches one’s senior years.


This was a surprise to my Huzz but not to me since I've observed that happening for years but he keeps thinking that there should be the big family get-together gathering as in ages past (when most of the women in his family never worked outside the home so were able to go all out for holiday gatherings, for instance house decorated to the 9s and a huge feast held). I keep telling him, "Your nieces and nephews aren't able to do all that like your mom, aunts, sister, etc., did; they're all working all the time and living in small apartments, etc." He keeps wanting the past, though.


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## Hollow (Sep 6, 2022)

What has surprised me about life is figuring out that friends can make a better "family", than actual blood relatives can.


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## Pebbles (Sep 6, 2022)

To think I shuddered when I reached the age of 40, as I felt ''This is it I am old''.

My word I would fight Mike Tyson to get back to that age again.


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