# If You Could Bring Someone Back to Life, Would You?



## Phoenix (Aug 24, 2018)

Mahogany-brown eyes gazed back at me from across the table.  Aaron's eyes.  Sipping rosé I absorbed his soul, drawing it unto my own, hoping somehow to keep it there forever.  Shades of love wavered in from the past, shades I had known as experience transformed illusions into reality.

Fractured by violence and the indifference of others, including a condemning husband, I had grown from a young woman with hope to one of vulnerabilities.  Mid all the heartache, time I spent with Aaron helped more than anything else.  He cared enough to take time to listen, to be there as best he could.  

We shared fishing trips to the mountains, intellectual conversations invoking mental gymnastics, concerns about personal and family issues and lovemaking in unusual places.  During the years we had known each other, our love grew into an inner connection, an interweaving.


  On that day in the pizza parlor over thirty years ago I came to know the tapestry would remain incomplete.  I needed to end the illicit relationship and design a life with someone who could be there full-time.  It fractured my heart, as well as his, to do so.  Years later when I learned of his death I, again, experienced the loss.  He was gone from this life, permanently.



  But is permanence, permanent?  What if it's not?  So, I'm asking you, if you could resurrect a lost sweetheart so you could be with him or her again, if you could return life to someone who had lost theirs, would you?  Yes, no, maybe, I don't know...these are plausible answers.  

Honestly, there are circumstances under which I would consider it.  Maybe you would too.  There are people I miss, those taken from this reality prematurely, as well as those I could have loved better, those who could have taught me more just by being themselves and those I cherish.  If I had to the power to fix that, I just might.  This was especially true when I was younger.



  When we are young we believe in fairytale solutions.  We will grow up strong and proud.  The tools we use to sculpt our lives will generate our most desired outcomes.  All the choices we make will be the right ones.  Even if bad things happen, we know we are smart enough to emerge on the other side of these catastrophes unscathed.  

So it is in our dreams.  We are certain this will continue to be true as our lives blossom before us.  What we don't realize during our youth is that there are no abracadabra solutions.  Oh, in our inexperience we don't call them that, but it is a correct label, nonetheless.

We are confident that those whose lives do not turn out as they hope, just don't plan correctly.  They do not have the savvy, the inner fortitude, the looks or destiny that we possess.  Our inexperience and naivete lead us to believe we will prevail against all comers.  When insecurity and contradictions hit we push them aside.



  Then life happens.  It becomes more personal, more subjective, and we become the proverbial I.  That which I planned didn't work.  I try again.  Again, it doesn't work, or it's only partially successful.  

People I encounter do not adhere to my ways of thinking.  These other people fail to be even slightly compliant.  As it turns out, they have their own ideas which seem valid to them.  Imagine that.  They are wrong, of course.  I am right, and I  "know" it.

I become sure that if these misguided individuals could only see their mistakes in discernment, they could find their own true way.  They don't, but neither do I, at least some of the time.  I try other solutions.  The results are similar even though the circumstances have been altered.  The changes I make do not implement the expected outcomes.



  Fretting about the way things can go so haywire, I nurse disillusionment and despair.  To pull myself out of the rut I take a class, go to church or to bars and/or engage in one fling after another.  I employ my favorite crutch, consider alternative solutions and try them.  

The solutions seem to be working, when all at once someone I care about does something which harshly impacts my life.  There is no way I can avoid it.  I cry out to God, the universe or an empty room for relief.

Time passes.  Nothing happens.  I slosh on as life's ocean sucks me under, wave after wave.  In an inkling, in a time and a way I did not anticipate, a stranger appears.  He is kind, concerned and offers sympathy when others have abandoned me.



  That's truly how it happened for me.  I met Aaron four months after my brother committed his crimes.  My husband at the time was ashamed of me for what my brother had done.  He forbid me to tell his old-money family.

My entire support system, including my huge extended family, deflated like a soufflé during an earthquake.  My brother was charged with murder.  As I navigated the undercurrents of the legal system and functioned as my parents' life vests, I was tugged into the whirlpool.



  Never during my youth could I have imagined my life would morph into this kind of horror.  Going under in a turbulence not of my making, I took the hand Aaron offered.  Over a period of two-and-a-half-years, he and I developed a friendship.  He, too, was married.  Friendship blossomed into more.

As I had anticipated at its inception, this relationship created its own separate issues.  After six-and-a-half-years of friendship I decided I needed to end the affair, dismantling my haven of comfort.  Still shattered by the murders, I divorced my husband and charted a new direction.



  When I learned of Aaron's death, it had an unsettling impact on me.  To work it through I decided to create a work of fiction whereby he and I could resurrect our relationship and be together.  Thus, my novel, _Resurrection Rose, _became a reality, evolving into the second book in a series.  

To lighten the tale I employed the crazy old women from the first in the series.  They plopped themselves into the protagonist's life at unlikely times and in ways which were not necessarily welcome.



In this story Bethanie, a professional portrait artist, paints people back to life.  She just doesn't know it until they start showing up.  While attempting to make sense of her skills, she runs into her former lover, Gabe.  A gutsy gal, Bethanie risks further heartache by resurrecting their once forbidden love...along with Gabe's deceased grandfather.  When she and Gabe catch Gramps fooling around with one of Bethanie's deceased relatives, Bethanie is propelled into a world peopled by nosy, old dead women insistent on helping her abilities unfold and transforming her into something she had no idea she already was.  The old women knew, like old women sometimes do.


  By the time the book was complete, I had worked through Aaron's death.



  We live in the core of creation.  We are that creation, the initial products as well as the creator.  So again, my question to you is, if you could paint someone back into your life, no matter the implements used to create this new reality, would you?



  The answer is contingent on many variables.  As in other aspects of our lives, anything could run amok at any time and turn our plateaus into sinkholes.  One of the ways to resolve this conundrum is to realize that life is an experiment with multiple possibilities.  Some we can control, but most we can't.  When the waves hit and bowl us over, we can learn to swim parallel to the shoreline and allow those waves to carry us back to beach rather than fight them and drown.


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## C'est Moi (Aug 24, 2018)

No, I certainly wouldn't.   "To everything there is a season."


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## Phoenix (Aug 24, 2018)

C'est Moi, true, and I agree, but some people die before they've had a chance at life...like those who die as babies, or those who die of cancer at young age.  I had a boyfriend who did.


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## Aneeda72 (Mar 5, 2019)

Hmm, this post brings back old pain, my chest clinches a little as I reply, and tears, which rarely form, form now.  I am sorry if my post causes anyone pain.  Perhaps you should not read this if you have a gentle nature.

Our only birth son was born 12/25 and died 12/27.  I had eclampsia.  He was rushed to intensive care at a children's hospital.  I wish he had waited to die until I could have seen him.  I wish, in those days, they had taken pictures.  I would love a picture of him.  I wish all his baby things had not been removed from my home.  If wishes were horses, sigh.

Our second son was a foster-adopt situation.  (We were foster parents for 35 plus years.) His mother had left him in a dumpster.  His father already in prison for life.  She got life as well for a variety of crimes.  He died of SIDS at six weeks.  That day I had taken him to the doc.  Said his breathing was funny.  Doc said he was fine.

Our third son was again a foster adopt situation.  He was born with severe hydrocephalus.  His parents sued the doctor for wrongful life and sighed him over to the state.  He was hospitalized after he was placed with us because he couldn't stay warm.  We learned he was a brain stem child.  This mean he was blind, deaf, etc.  He died in a nursing home at the age of 11 months.

No. I would not bring them back.  But they are remembered and loved.  It's all any of us can hope for.


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## RadishRose (Mar 5, 2019)

So very sad....I have no words.


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## Sassycakes (Mar 5, 2019)

Everyday I miss loved ones that have passed away. I would not want to bring them back to this life that is often filled with pain and heartache. Hopefully we will all be together again at the end of my life here on earth.


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## JimW (Mar 6, 2019)

I would bring my grandparents back in a second. Both were more like real parents to me than my actual parents and I'd love to have more time with them, especially my Grandfather who died when I was 16.


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## Keesha (Mar 6, 2019)

I would bring my brother back whom I lost when I was 19. He would have been 21 in a few months. Because of how we were raised I didn’t get to know him well but I am getting to know my other brother well now, which is a blessing in itself.


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## Keesha (Mar 6, 2019)

Aneeda72 said:


> Hmm, this post brings back old pain, my chest clinches a little as I reply, and tears, which rarely form, form now.  I am sorry if my post causes anyone pain.  Perhaps you should not read this if you have a gentle nature.
> 
> Our only birth son was born 12/25 and died 12/27.  I had eclampsia.  He was rushed to intensive care at a children's hospital.  I wish he had waited to die until I could have seen him.  I wish, in those days, they had taken pictures.  I would love a picture of him.  I wish all his baby things had not been removed from my home.  If wishes were horses, sigh.
> 
> ...


My heart goes out to you :heart:


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## applecruncher (Mar 6, 2019)

I would bring back my mother and my older brother for a day, just long enough to update them on what's been happening in the world/family since their departure. Then we'd eat a nice dinner and I'd let them go back to restful peace.


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## SeaBreeze (Mar 6, 2019)

Aneeda72 said:


> Hmm, this post brings back old pain, my chest clinches a little as I reply, and tears, which rarely form, form now.  I am sorry if my post causes anyone pain.  Perhaps you should not read this if you have a gentle nature.
> 
> Our only birth son was born 12/25 and died 12/27.  I had eclampsia.  He was rushed to intensive care at a children's hospital.  I wish he had waited to die until I could have seen him.  I wish, in those days, they had taken pictures.  I would love a picture of him.  I wish all his baby things had not been removed from my home.  If wishes were horses, sigh.
> 
> ...



Very sad story Aneeda, you had a lot of heartache.


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## SeaBreeze (Mar 6, 2019)

I would try and bring back my brother and sister who died way too young and never had the chance to enjoy (or even reach) their golden years like I'm doing.


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## CindyLouWho (Mar 6, 2019)

Most definitely my sweet dog who passed almost 4 months ago, that I can't get over, my cats, & my mother and father.


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## jujube (Mar 6, 2019)

My husband and my sister.  Both left this life long before we were ready to let them go.


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## Aunt Bea (Mar 6, 2019)

C'est Moi said:


> No, I certainly wouldn't. "To everything there is a season."



and a reason.

I feel bad when a person dies at a very young age but bringing them back is no assurance of a happy life for them or for us.


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## Keesha (Mar 6, 2019)

C'est Moi said:


> No, I certainly wouldn't.   "To everything there is a season."





Aunt Bea said:


> and a reason.
> 
> I feel bad when a person dies at a very young age but bringing them back is no assurance of a happy life for them or for us.



I agree with this. While it would be nice to bring a loved one back, I believe that the universe has a purpose and everything happens for a reason. Being mere mortals, we don’t see the bigger picture so need to have faith that it happrned for a reason greater than ourselves.


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## Trade (Mar 6, 2019)

I'd bring my old man back. So I could beat the crap out of him. SOB died when I was 9 and too little to do it then.


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## Olivia (Mar 6, 2019)

I think "The Monkey's Paw" covered this scenario pretty well. :eek1:


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## Olivia (Mar 6, 2019)

CindyLouWho said:


> Most definitely my sweet dog who passed almost 4 months ago, that I can't get over, my cats, & my mother and father.



I'm sorry to hear this, Cindy. I remember you posting about your sweet dog about a year ago, but I missed learning that he or she had passed away. My condolences. It's really hard.


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## Aneeda72 (Mar 6, 2019)

Hi Trade,

WOW, that's a heavy burden to carry around for so long.  I kinda wish it could happen so you could gain some closure.  Although, I think closure is a myth.

My mother is 94 and, hopefully, will die before I do.

But since neither place in the afterlife will take her, she will live forever.  I am afraid that even the ground would spit her out so she will be cremated.  No zombie mom nightmares for me!  This is not the place to go onto what she did to me, what dad did to me, the haunting horror of my childhood.

I wish you peace and, perhaps someday, you and I, and everyone else can lay down these childhood burdens and be free.


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## hollydolly (Mar 6, 2019)

I've lost a few family members, young and old... but I'd love to bring my mother back. She died young (in her 30's).. because she had a horrible life at the hands of my evil father, so I would love to have her back to be able to give her the good  life she deserved and never experienced..


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## Pepper (Mar 6, 2019)

I would definitely bring back the seven I lost.  I can't, but do see them often in dreams.  Usually, they do nothing but be there with me.  Sometimes, they are main characters.  I see at least one every night.  No consolation though.  I wake up and miss them and how very aware I am of how different life would be with even one of them.  Each death took away a piece of me.  The seven are irreplaceable.


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## Trade (Mar 6, 2019)

Aneeda72 said:


> Hi Trade,
> 
> WOW, that's a heavy burden to carry around for so long.  I kinda wish it could happen so you could gain some closure.  Although, I think closure is a myth.
> 
> ...



I think I might have given people the wrong idea with my post. My old man wasn't abusive. I just didn't fit his fantasy of what a son of his should be like. I was a shy introvert and he was a self promoting narcissistic extrovert. So he took no interest in me at all. I felt like he was disappointed and embarrassed by me.

Here's an example of what I am talking about. 




  Above is a photo of my Old Man's with his Little League team. My old man is the tall dude on the left. He was the manager. The other dude on the right was the assistant manager. They won the Clearwater Florida City Championship that year. I'm not in this picture, because I didn't play on that team. 1955 was the first year that Clearwater Florida had Little league baseball. And at that time the age limit was 8 through 12. And I was one of the youngest at 8. 

I wasn't all that interested in baseball at the time because my old man had never lifted a finger to teach me how to play. He had bought me this fancy $20 glove when I was about 3 years old. It was a Ted Williams model. $20 bucks was a lot of money in 1950. But I do not remember him once playing catch with me or pitching to me. But when the start of Little league was announced I found out that my old man was going to be one of the Team Managers. So I went down to the tryouts. 

I don't think I'd ever held a baseball bat before, but I went up to the plate and there was this bigger kid about 11 or 12 pitching and he struck me out in three pitches. Then they put me out in the outfield and someone hit a fly ball my way and I had never a fly ball hit to me before either and it went over my head. So that was the end of tryouts and the end of my Little league career. 

I still wanted to play so a friend of mine named Phillip Clapp and I would practice in our back yard. My old man would never practice with me though. He was always too busy. But he spent a lot of time working with his little league team. And he would take me to a lot of games because he was scouting the competition. So I learned how to play and Phillip and I got much better practicing by ourselves. But my old man just wasn't interested. 

I remember begging him to pitch to me so I could learn how to hit a fastball. But in all that time he only pitched to me once. And I'm not talking about a batting practice session. Nope. Just one pitch. A fast ball. He really hummed one in there and I swung and I hit a good solid ground ball back at him. So hard that he couldn't handle it. It went right by him. And my old man was pretty good. I remember one time he was filling in as third base coach for a pony league team. That's older kids, I think the ages were 13-16. Anyway this one kid hit a sizzling line drive foul ball down the third base right at the third base coaching box. And my old man just stuck out his bare hand and speared that thing like it was nothing. It was dammed impressive. 

So anyway, back to my ground ball. I was pretty impressed with myself because like I said my old man had really burned one in with that pitch. I figured he would be impressed to and pitch some more to me. But no, he had someplace else to be so he left after throwing me one frickin pitch. One godd*mned pitch. That's how much batting practice my old man gave me in my entire life. Thanks Dad. 

Anyway, I never played any organized little league. Just back yard stuff with my friends. I did try out again the next year but I didn't hack it then either. Truth was I was a shy kid and while I could play pretty decent with my friend in the neighborhood I got rattled pretty easy when there were a bunch of people watching plus the bench jockeying was intense back then. I mean the other team would be razzing the Hell out of the batter trying to mess with his head and on me that was very effective. I just froze up. 

Anyway back to that picture. Notice that there are only 14 players in that picture. Back then the limit for a little league team was 15. But my old man managed to take his team all the way to the city championship with just 14 players. 

I never noticed that until years later. 

When his team won the city championship they had a team banquet at the Ft. Harrison Hotel. The place that those scientology weirdo's took over later. And at that banquet they gave out trophies for the city championship. Back in those days you only got a trophy if you were on the City Championship team. It's not like today where every kid gets a trophy no matter what. These days you can be the worst player on the worst team and you still get a trophy. 

So my old man got a trophy because he was the manager and his assistant got a trophy and all the players got a trophy and then there was still one more trophy left, and that one went to me. Yeah, that's right, in front of the whole godd*mned team my old man presented me with a godd*mned city championship trophy even though I had never played on that team. What the F*ck was he thinking? That I was going to feel good about getting a F*cking trophy that I didn't deserve in front of all those other kids who had earned their trophies and knew d*mned well I hadn't? Thanks again dad for one of the more humiliating moments of my life. 

Years later I noticed the fact that there were only 14 players in that picture when the roster should have been 15 and I figured out that my old man had kept me on that roster. I don't know what he was thinking. Maybe he thought he was doing something nice for me? 

  I kept that trophy for quite a few years. Sometimes I would leave it out in my room hoping that maybe someone would see it and think I actually earned it. Pretty bad huh? But most of the time I just kept it in a box in my closet. Finally it got broken somehow and I threw it out. I think I was in my 20's by then.


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## Keesha (Mar 6, 2019)

My dad beat the crap at of me ALL the time 
Hes still alive 
I wish no revenge. You learn to live with it 
Some people should not have been parents but you can’t roll back time. 
If you got lemons you make  lemonade


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## Aneeda72 (Mar 6, 2019)

Hey Trade,

Your "old man" wasn't physically abusive, but he was neglectful.  Neglect is abuse. It has affected you deeply.  Neglect can be just as harmful as physical abuse.  I don't think I've misunderstood,  but maybe I did.  If so, I apologize.

I endured just about every form of abuse you can name.  I had problems similar to yours.  I was a shy child.  A child who couldn't spell.  (Or throw a ball, or tell time.). My parents made me practice, practice, and practice.  Write, write, write the words again and again and again.  Then my mother drilled me, and like you, at home, and I could finally spell.

But at school, (this was fourth grade), I would open the spelling book, turn to the test page, and as teacher called out the words the letters disappeared from my mind.  She took the book, corrected the spelling, and another big fat red F appeared again.  Home I went.

To the screaming, the rage, the beatings, and the practice, the writing, the drills.  Rinse, repeat.  A spelling book filled with big fat red F's.  The stupid unwanted useless girl child who couldn't even spell, who wrote b's instead of d's.  I got better as I got older, but I was never great at spelling.

Even now, if I become the least bit stressed, I can't spell.  I mentioned this once to my daughter.  How hard it was for me.  How I couldn't look up words in the dictionary, because I could not spell.  How she, her brother, my husband used to laugh at me when she was younger.  How hurtful it was.

She bought me Alexa.  Alexa can spell.  But Alexa can't heal the hurt.  I suppose that's the saddest thing of all.


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## Buckeye (Mar 6, 2019)

I have lost folks I loved (father, daughter, 2 wives) but no I can't imagine bringing any of them back to life.  They are, I believe, in a better place, and I will wait to see them again when my time comes.


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## Gary O' (Mar 6, 2019)

C'est Moi said:


> No, I certainly wouldn't.   "To everything there is a season."



I'm kinda there with that

However

One dude, well, it'd be a fun conversation, as it always was

*
A Friend*
I had a friend, last name of Greasser (of all the names), weighed around 360 lbs  in high school and college
….just did anything that would cause a stir……a perpetual grin on his ever so ugly mug.

Longish brown hair lying flat on his forehead, somewhat matted.
Always brushing it out of his eyes.

White, almost transparent skin.

Loose, ill fitting clothes.

Shoes, warn down in odd places from the inhibited stride of a fatso.

He was around 6’ 6” and had no ass, just blubber around his middle, tapering to essentially nothing, 
and walked with a slump, the backs of his hands pointed forward, arms immobile….like a friggin’ sasquatch.

Quite intelligent, however. 
I learned to never strike up a conversion with him on the subject of political science.

Nobody talked about his appearance.

We loved him.

We tried to get him to join in in a scrub game of half court.
His feet never left the ground, and although quick wristed, has hands were like anvils when it came to handling a basketball. 
Still, he got a kick out of it, and I knew he loved being included for once in something other than cerebral confabs.

Football was funny.
He just stood there, turning, like he was on a giant electric football field, vibrating nowhere.

He made Western Civ class a riot….even inspired me to crack a book…..once.


Met up with him a few years after college (I’d dropped out long ago, he was degreed in several things).

But, selling LP albums out of the trunk of his ’68 Olds 98.
A real free spirit….looking back, reminds me now of Uncle Buck.



I was recently told of his fatal maladies…bunch of stuff, kidneys, liver, heart….all hooked up…hospice.

Damn he loved his gin, weed, fast garbage food, and all night parties.

I miss him right now…..really miss him.

To you, Greasser, you magnificent yeti son of a bitch.


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## Seeker (Mar 6, 2019)

Gary..

Your post always bring up memories of things I hadn't thought of in ages...

Your friend reminded me of a good ol' feller called TJ.

He was a big ol guy and couldn't talk real well,didn't have many friends, but I loved him.

When he picked up a guitar and sang it would melt your heart...

Thanks for the memory..he died young.


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## Gary O' (Mar 6, 2019)

Seeker said:


> Gary..
> 
> ..he died young.



Only the good ones.....



that's why I'm still here


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## Aneeda72 (Mar 7, 2019)

Keesha,

My parents beat me as well.  Dad died a long time ago with one of his other families.  He married several times, had over ten other children, and abused every single on of them, as did his wives.  He married a certain type of woman.  I've talked to all ten of them.  

I don't want revenge either, but if she were dead I wouldn't have to take her phone calls.  Yes, I have to take them.  She is 94 and still my mother.  For me, the Ten Commandments come into play.  Sigh.

I grew up with the lemonade saying as well.  The only problem with that saying is the lemons have to cut and crushed before they become lemonade.  Children aren't lemons.

I am glad we (all victims of parental abuse) survived.  But some of us survived better than others.


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## Trade (Mar 7, 2019)

Keesha said:


> My dad beat the crap at of me ALL the time
> Hes still alive
> I wish no revenge. You learn to live with it
> Some people should not have been parents but you can’t roll back time.
> If you got lemons you make  lemonade





Aneeda72 said:


> Hey Trade,
> 
> Your "old man" wasn't physically abusive, but he was neglectful.  Neglect is abuse. It has affected you deeply.  Neglect can be just as harmful as physical abuse.  I don't think I've misunderstood,  but maybe I did.  If so, I apologize.
> 
> ...



IMO Physical abuse is a lot worse that what I had, which basically amounted to lack of interest. I feel bad about complaining now.


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## Keesha (Mar 7, 2019)

Our parents have a huge impact on our lives, no doubt, and if they were narcissistic, then there’s a good chance they were abusive. 


I really appreciate Trades honesty. 
Neglect is definitely a form of abuse, especially coming from a narcissist parent. You are either there for their benefit or you may as well not be there at all because ‘they’ always come first. 


When I read up about narcissistic parenting it said there were basically two different types. The ones who live their lives by moulding you into exactly what they want , since you are a reflection of them and their good tastes etc., OR the ones who are so self absorbed they’d rather not even know you are there. I had the latter. 


My parents were not only physically abusive but mentally also. My mom had and still has my dad’s balls in a vice and he will do anything she orders him to do. Sorry if this is offensive wording to some but I don’t know how else to explain it. 
If she were ever upset with me she’d sent him in my room to whip my butt and it was horribly abusive. He was 5 ‘ 10 “ ,.... 225 pounds and completely muscle bound. He once broke his hand hitting me and then blamed me for his hand breaking, never mind the damage caused to me. Their narcissism is off the charts. 


I’ve spent my life having an ‘on again’ ‘off again’ relationship with them and have had much counselling most of which have suggested to break ties if I want the toxicity to end. I finally did but now they are 85 & 89 and in their final stages of life and at times I still feel like walking away but I’ve got a fabulous relationship with a wonderful brother and I can’t abandon him since he’s the POA, and responsible for looking after them. 


Consistent parental  abuse is so sinister. 
The very people who are supposed to love and teach us  how wonderful life can be become your enemy. It creates mistrust of humanity in general which causes torment to the survivor. 


Anyway I don’t believe in revenge. Revenge can never be part of a just system. It is driven by anger and violence which are negative emotions that have a direct impact on our well being and mental health. With helping my parents out I have had to seek counselling due to past trauma rearing it’s ugly head.


I’ve recently discovered that there are certain characteristics that people display who have experienced being raised by severe narcissists and I take comfort in knowing I’m not alone here. 


I’ve got a thread about narcissistic abusive parents which I’m going to update soon. 
https://www.seniorforums.com/showthread.php/35316-HELP-Dealing-with-TOXIC-aging-Parents


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## Keesha (Mar 7, 2019)

Trade said:


> IMO Physical abuse is a lot worse that what I had, which basically amounted to lack of interest. I feel bad about complaining now.



Dont :hug:


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## norman (Mar 7, 2019)

* I do miss several persons that I think of every day, but I just as strongly believe they are in a better place.   Passing is the only exit from this dimension of existence we know as life.  Ones passing is the only way we can escape,  I would need to know if they wanted to come back.   (this is a heavy subject)
*


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## Aneeda72 (Mar 7, 2019)

Agree totally with what you have said.


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## Keesha (Mar 7, 2019)

Aneeda72 said:


> Agree totally with what you have said.


Sorry Aneeda, I meant to direct my post to you but forgot to add your  quote.


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## AZ Jim (Mar 23, 2019)

If it were possible and she could return pain free and healthy, I'd love to have my wife back.


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## win231 (Mar 23, 2019)

JimW said:


> I would bring my grandparents back in a second. Both were more like real parents to me than my actual parents and I'd love to have more time with them, especially my Grandfather who died when I was 16.



Exactly the same with me.  My grandfather also died when I was 16.  I liked him more than either of my parents.  When I misbehaved as a kid, I got sent to my grandfather's place.  After that, I'd _*intentionally *_misbehave so I could go back there.  My parents were not smart enough to figure it out.


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## JimW (Mar 25, 2019)

win231 said:


> Exactly the same with me.  My grandfather also died when I was 16.  I liked him more than either of my parents.  When I misbehaved as a kid, I got sent to my grandfather's place.  After that, I'd _*intentionally *_misbehave so I could go back there.  My parents were not smart enough to figure it out.



My parents still haven't figured it out either. I gave up on that a long time ago.

I slept over my grandparents house almost every weekend when I was a kid, I looked forward to it all week long. My grandfather always had something planned for us to do together, even if we were doing yard work he made it fun and always taught me something. I ended up moving in with my grandmother at age 17 after my grandfather died. I never went back to my parent's house from that point on. I have my grandfather's burial flag and WW2 medals along with a pic of him in his Navy uniform with my grandmother in a case that I look at every day.


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## Pecos (Jul 26, 2020)

Phoenix said:


> Mahogany-brown eyes gazed back at me from across the table.  Aaron's eyes.  Sipping rosé I absorbed his soul, drawing it unto my own, hoping somehow to keep it there forever.  Shades of love wavered in from the past, shades I had known as experience transformed illusions into reality.
> 
> Fractured by violence and the indifference of others, including a condemning husband, I had grown from a young woman with hope to one of vulnerabilities.  Mid all the heartache, time I spent with Aaron helped more than anything else.  He cared enough to take time to listen, to be there as best he could.
> 
> ...


When I read your post of 26 July, I decided that there was much to be learned from you and I wound up reading this very touching post, Indeed you have much to say that I can learn from, and your writing is beautiful.

It is enlightening to see how people deal with the aftermath of trauma and heartache, and how they grow as people. You show such growth and your posts show empathy and kindness toward other people. I will have to read your book. I am happy to know of you and to learn from you.

Have a good one my friend!


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## Ferocious (Jul 26, 2020)

*If You Could Bring Someone Back to Life, Would You?*

*Hmmm, yes I suppose I would, not a someone, a something that I pee with. *


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## fmdog44 (Jul 26, 2020)

Death is like life, only longer.


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## Phoenix (Jul 26, 2020)

Pecos said:


> When I read your post of 26 July, I decided that there was much to be learned from you and I wound up reading this very touching post, Indeed you have much to say that I can learn from, and your writing is beautiful.
> 
> It is enlightening to see how people deal with the aftermath of trauma and heartache, and how they grow as people. You show such growth and your posts show empathy and kindness toward other people. I will have to read your book. I am happy to know of you and to learn from you.
> 
> Have a good one my friend!


Thank you, my friend,  for your kind words and I see you made it to my website.  I've learned so much, because I decided that I would not allow myself to drown.  Some people drug up and escape. There are all kinds of adaptations to heartache and tragedy.  Love is where we find it, and sometimes it throws us a lifeline as well as an anchor that can drag us under.  Sometimes the solution presents more situations which create heartaches.    So many times I was alone with my despair and no one came to help.   I just want to help, kind of a pay it forward from the books I have read that helped me.  I've worked on my writing since 1981.


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## Repondering (Jul 26, 2020)

My father was a self important little napoleon wannabe who thought he was entitled to humiliate me for 48 years just so he could derive some illusion of personal adequacy.  Textbook narcissist.  I was there in the ICU when he flatlined and said '..good riddance'.  I closed the eyes on his corpse and said 'burn in hell a**hole'.
I'd bring him back just so I could enjoy the pleasure of putting him  in the ground again with a .357 lobotomy.

Therapeutically, I realize that it's probably healthier to let the above sentiments go and consider the possibility of forgiveness.
I'm still working on getting to that.


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## Judycat (Jul 26, 2020)

Yes I would. My daughter. I miss her every day.


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## Mr. Ed (Jul 27, 2020)

Would they be a zombie? What would be cost?


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## Treacle (Jul 27, 2020)

My Mum and my brother (who recently passed). But I would not want them to be in pain or my mother to continue to suffer at the hands of my violent father. Like other people have said , I will meet them one day.


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## old medic (Jul 27, 2020)

Olivia said:


> I think "The Monkey's Paw" covered this scenario pretty well. :eek1:


That was my 1st thought...
We all have family and friends that we have lost, and think of...
I am thankful that they were a part of my life however short it was...


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## Phoenix (Jul 27, 2020)

There are people I miss so much, and I'd like to spend time with them.  So I invite them into my dreams and write them into my books.


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## JaniceM (Jul 27, 2020)

Keesha said:


> Our parents have a huge impact on our lives, no doubt, and if they were narcissistic, then there’s a good chance they were abusive.
> 
> 
> I really appreciate Trades honesty.
> ...


When I clicked on the link it said 'you do not have permission to view this page'...  I don't understand...?


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## Phoenix (Jul 27, 2020)

Another issue in the family department is how kids treat their parents.  My husband was and is a good father.  His daughters have always treated him like crap, like his exwife, their mother did.  They finally went too far this year, and he cut them off entirely until they genuinely apologize, which is highly unlikely.  They are 48 and 50 going on 3 and 4 with tantrums.


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## Pecos (Jul 27, 2020)

Phoenix said:


> Another issue in the family department is how kids treat their parents.  My husband was and is a good father.  His daughters have always treated him like crap, like his exwife, their mother did.  They finally went too far this year, and he cut them off entirely until they genuinely apologize, which is highly unlikely.  They are 48 and 50 going on 3 and 4 with tantrums.


I would find their behavior to be seriously irritating and would cut them off as well. The only problem might be grandchildren if there are any.


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## Phoenix (Jul 27, 2020)

Pecos said:


> I would find their behavior to be seriously irritating and would cut them off as well. The only problem might be grandchildren if there are any.



Thank you for your support.  The grand kids are jerks as well, incredibly self-centered and expect others to do for them.  There is one great grand child, who is an infant.  So he can't be blamed.  They all live about a thousand miles away thankfully.  All my husband ever wanted was a loving family.  He played with his kids.  He gave them the love and support he never got.  He told them they could grow up and accomplish great things.  When he was a kid he was beaten by his grandmother, and his mother never stood up for him.  His father who didn't live with them, was a raging alcoholic.  When he finally stopped his grandmother from beating him with a belt when he was 15, his mother said now grandma was likely to come after her.  Now, I know in her older years his mother loved him and tried to make up for not being there for him.  But when you are a child and turn to your mother for hugs and love, and are pushed away, it's hard for a person to cotton up to her.  She made her bed.  To be fair to her, her parents told her that she should have died instead of their son.  After all she was "just a girl."  He was loving to his mother in her older years, but not as much as she would have liked.


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## Dolly (Oct 12, 2020)

I don't know about bringing him back to life, but I would dearly love to go back in time and meet my dad. He was killed when I was 3 weeks old


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## Phoenix (Oct 12, 2020)

Dolly said:


> I don't know about bringing him back to life, but I would dearly love to go back in time and meet my dad. He was killed when I was 3 weeks old


It's sad you never got to know him.  How did he die?


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## dobielvr (Oct 12, 2020)

I'd love to see my beautiful Mother again.  Losing her broke my heart, I could feel it breaking.
My handsome father too.  We had the best times together.  And they were the best parents.

All my friends were jealous.  

I'd like to speak to my 2nd ex-husband, to just get things straight and apologize.
And my favorite doberman...that he gave me ^^^^.  She was the best.

Cant forget my grandmother...she didnt speak English, but we managed.  I never met my grandfather, but I'd like to, I heard he was quite a guy.


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## Phoenix (Oct 12, 2020)

dobielvr said:


> I'd love to see my beautiful Mother again.  Losing her broke my heart, I could feel it breaking.
> My handsome father too.  We had the best times together.  And they were the best parents.
> 
> All my friends were jealous.
> ...


I can understand and agree, but I wouldn't want to bring them back to this world the way it is now.


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## dobielvr (Oct 12, 2020)

Just for a quick visit........^^^^  I'd take that.


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## hollydolly (Oct 12, 2020)

dobielvr said:


> Just for a quick visit........^^^^  I'd take that.


 I'd with you, I'd give everything I own  (aside from the lives of my family), to see and speak to my mother for just an hour


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## Phoenix (Oct 12, 2020)

There's a song I love by Diamond Rio - One More Day


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## win231 (Oct 12, 2020)

I'd like to bring my dad back for an hour.
I'd ask him, "What the hell were you thinking when you married mom had my brother?  Were all the pharmacies out of condoms?"
"And was mom the last woman on earth?"


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## Gaer (Oct 12, 2020)

I wouldn't dare!  out of an atmosphere of pure bliss, back to this?  They would be so pissed!


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## Phoenix (Oct 12, 2020)

Gaer said:


> I wouldn't dare!  out of an atmosphere of pure bliss, back to this?  They would be so pissed!


I would say, please bring a spaceship and take me home with you.


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## Dolly (Oct 13, 2020)

Phoenix said:


> It's sad you never got to know him.  How did he die?


He was killed in an explosion in 1950. It was the day before mum brought me home from the hospital Mum never remarried and worked from then when she was 30, until she retired in 1980. Because daddy died in an industrial accident (Monsanto chemicals) they were liable and had to pay mum compensation. My God she had to fight for it. The gave her... wait for it. £1000 to buy a house and £700 for me. I got it when I was 21. By the way, they only gave mum a thousand because she had had TB as a child and wasn't  likely to live long... she was 94 when she died and as strong as an ox, but sadly had dementia which finished her off.


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## Pinky (Oct 13, 2020)

I suffered years of depression after my mother died from inoperable breast cancer. She had a difficult life, and never complained. What I would give to have her back, for just one day.


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## Phoenix (Oct 13, 2020)

Dolly said:


> He was killed in an explosion in 1950. It was the day before mum brought me home from the hospital Mum never remarried and worked from then when she was 30, until she retired in 1980. Because daddy died in an industrial accident (Monsanto chemicals) they were liable and had to pay mum compensation. My God she had to fight for it. The gave her... wait for it. £1000 to buy a house and £700 for me. I got it when I was 21. By the way, they only gave mum a thousand because she had had TB as a child and wasn't  likely to live long... she was 94 when she died and as strong as an ox, but sadly had dementia which finished her off.


How really sad for her.  Industry can be so brutal and heartless.  I'm glad you had her that long.


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## Phoenix (Oct 13, 2020)

Pinky said:


> I suffered years of depression after my mother died from inoperable breast cancer. She had a difficult life, and never complained. What I would give to have her back, for just one day.


How old was she when she died?  Yes, one day would be wonderful.  It would give you the chance to hold her one more time and talk about the things you needed to talk about, now.


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## hollydolly (Oct 13, 2020)

Phoenix said:


> There's a song I love by Diamond Rio - One More Day


That's one of my all time favourites...


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## Phoenix (Oct 13, 2020)

delete


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## Phoenix (Oct 13, 2020)

hollydolly said:


> That's one of my all time favourites...


Here's another I really like.  I Believe by Diamond Rio


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## hollydolly (Oct 13, 2020)

Phoenix said:


> Here's another I really like.  I Believe by Diamond Rio
> 
> 
> 
> ...


My second Diamond Rio favourite...


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## Phoenix (Oct 13, 2020)

hollydolly said:


> My second Diamond Rio favourite...


Do you ever feel your loved ones with you like this?  I do.


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## Dolly (Oct 14, 2020)

Pinky said:


> I suffered years of depression after my mother died from inoperable breast cancer. She had a difficult life, and never complained. What I would give to have her back, for just one day.


There are 2 sayings I think are  the truest ever: 1) Grief is the price we pay for love and 2) No matter how old you are, when things get bad you want your mother


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## hollydolly (Oct 14, 2020)

Phoenix said:


> Do you ever feel your loved ones with you like this?  I do.


yes I do...everytime things go wrong..if my health is bad.. if my daughter needs help..  sometimes a small white feather or 2 will land close to me in my garden, and I feel my mother is listening and telling me thing will be ok..and it usually always is...


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## Dolly (Oct 14, 2020)

hollydolly said:


> yes I do...everytime things go wrong..if my health is bad.. if my daughter needs help..  sometimes a small white feather or 2 will land close to me in my garden, and I feel my mother is listening and telling me thing will be ok..and it usually always is...


I didn't believe the stories about the white feathers before our daughter died. I used to put it down to a passing pigeon. I've changed my mind now. Whenever I'm thinking about her, or feeling a bit low; I find a small white feather at my feet


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## hollydolly (Oct 14, 2020)

Dolly said:


> I didn't believe the stories about the white feathers before our daughter died. I used to put it down to a passing pigeon. I've changed my mind now. Whenever I'm thinking about her, or feeling a bit low; I find a small white feather at my feet


Exactly Dolly, and I'm so sorry for your loss...


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## Phoenix (Oct 14, 2020)

hollydolly said:


> yes I do...everytime things go wrong..if my health is bad.. if my daughter needs help..  sometimes a small white feather or 2 will land close to me in my garden, and I feel my mother is listening and telling me thing will be ok..and it usually always is...





Dolly said:


> I didn't believe the stories about the white feathers before our daughter died. I used to put it down to a passing pigeon. I've changed my mind now. Whenever I'm thinking about her, or feeling a bit low; I find a small white feather at my feet



With some of my loved ones who have passed, I feel their presence, see them in my mind or have dreams about them that are more than dreams.


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## Treacle (Oct 14, 2020)

I would love to see my Austrian mother, and as some of you know she was killed by my father, and I was 18months old with 4 siblings. When I started my research 30 years + ago I received an Austrian reply from the police to say that my mother had gone to England and gave me an address and added that there were no other relatives by my mother's surname. My grandmother had kept her marriage name and had I known at the time' what it was, I would have met her and my Austrian brother would have reconnected with her . The point for writing this is that 'situations' happen that we can never understand. I am a strong believer that we will meet our loved ones one day and 'things' happen for a reason- don't know why ( still working on that one) but I believe my mother has always been with me to look after me. I can give you a number of instants where my life could have been over but I survived. My siblings also believe mum is with us to look after us while we are here.  They may not be with us physically but ,for me, they are here for us spiritually. Just my thoughts. ☺


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## Phoenix (Oct 14, 2020)

Treacle said:


> I would love to see my Austrian mother, and as some of you know she was killed by my father, and I was 18months old with 4 siblings. When I started my research 30 years + ago I received an Austrian reply from the police to say that my mother had gone to England and gave me an address and added that there were no other relatives by my mother's surname. My grandmother had kept her marriage name and had I known at the time' what it was, I would have met her and my Austrian brother would have reconnected with her . The point for writing this is that 'situations' happen that we can never understand. I am a strong believer that we will meet our loved ones one day and 'things' happen for a reason- don't know why ( still working on that one) but I believe my mother has always been with me to look after me. I can give you a number of instants where my life could have been over but I survived. My siblings also believe mum is with us to look after us while we are here.  They may not be with us physically but ,for me, they are here for us spiritually. Just my thoughts. ☺


I believe real love is one of the forever things.


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## Pinky (Oct 14, 2020)

Phoenix said:


> How old was she when she died?  Yes, one day would be wonderful.  It would give you the chance to hold her one more time and talk about the things you needed to talk about, now.


She was only 67. I just turned 73, and for a long time, didn't think I'd make it this far.


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## Phoenix (Oct 14, 2020)

Pinky said:


> She was only 67. I just turned 73, and for a long time, didn't think I'd make it this far.


Did anyone in your family live to me really old?  There are a number in my family who did.  But my generation of cousins isn't faring so well.


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## PamfromTx (Oct 14, 2020)

I personally would not want some of my loved ones to come back.  Our world is getting too difficult.  Mom and my brother suffered enough in their lifetime to endure more harm.  I would prefer that they rest in eternal peace.


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## Pinky (Oct 14, 2020)

Phoenix said:


> Did anyone in your family live to me really old?  There are a number in my family who did.  But my generation of cousins isn't faring so well.


My half-brother is turning 88, and half-sister is 82. My father died, aged 68 .. so, it must be their paternal side that had longevity.


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## Phoenix (Oct 14, 2020)

Pinky said:


> My half-brother is turning 88, and half-sister is 82. My father died, aged 68 .. so, it must be their paternal side that had longevity.


Or going back a couple of generations, maybe people lived longer.


pamelasmithwick said:


> I personally would not want some of my loved ones to come back.  Our world is getting too difficult.  Mom and my brother suffered enough in their lifetime to endure more harm.  I would prefer that they rest in eternal peace.


Not even for just a day?


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## Mr. Ed (Oct 15, 2020)

Quiet the contrary, I would join them.


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## drifter (Oct 19, 2020)

Yes, by any means posssible.


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## Phoenix (Oct 19, 2020)

drifter said:


> Yes, by any means posssible.


I understand that.  Some days I just want to see my mom and dad, the way they were when they were young and healthy.  My romantic partners who passed, left a big hole when they passed too.  One of the ways I work it out is through writing my novels.  Some of my characters are based on people I know who have passed.  It makes the characters richer and I work out the losses.  It kind of brings them back to me.


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## Just Jeff (Jul 12, 2022)

Dolly said:


> He was killed in an explosion in 1950. It was the day before mum brought me home from the hospital Mum never remarried and worked from then when she was 30, until she retired in 1980. Because daddy died in an industrial accident (*Monsanto* chemicals) they were liable and had to pay mum compensation. My God she had to fight for it. The gave her... wait for it. £1000 to buy a house and £700 for me. I got it when I was 21. By the way, they only gave mum a thousand because she had had TB as a child and wasn't  likely to live long... she was 94 when she died and as strong as an ox, but sadly had dementia which finished her off.


That long ago ....


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## Paladin1950 (Sep 11, 2022)

I would attempt to try it on my younger brother who passed away in 2020 at the age of 57. I miss him everyday.


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## JustDave (Sep 11, 2022)

I've seen too many horror movies, where bringing back the dead is just a venture into the macabre.  I know, they're still just stories, but I'm quite content with just fond memories of people I loved.


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## Woodland (Sep 21, 2022)

The first person who came to mind is JesusChrist.  However, OurLord is not dead and still lives with us and in us every day.


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## NorthernLight (Sep 21, 2022)

No, I wouldn't. We shared a moment (or more) in time. Now it's over.


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## Alligatorob (Sep 21, 2022)

Sure, it might be interesting.  Who knows.

If it were only 1 person I'd choose my mother, just one more conversation with her would be great...


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## DebraMae (Sep 21, 2022)

I don't think so, as much as I would like to see them.  Might not work out as well as we think it would.


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## Nathan (Sep 21, 2022)

> If you Could Bring Someone Back to Life, Would You?


Yes, I'd bring my mother back, she died when I was 22, she was only 53.  We were just getting past the parent-child mentality, starting to make some important growth.
...and my daughter, who passed too young at age 43, there was a lot of unfinished business in her life.


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## Gardenlover (Sep 21, 2022)




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## win231 (Sep 21, 2022)

The only human I'd like to bring back was my grandfather on my dad's side.  He was much nicer than my parents.
(I've posted previously about my Raging-Witch mom; I wanted to leave the broom she rode on in her casket)
Everything else I'd like to bring back were not humans; they were pets.


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## Lara (Sep 21, 2022)

Mrs Brown, my English teacher in 10th grade,
so I could say thank you for changing my life
in a powerful way with just a few words.

It was oral book report day and students were asked to come up on a volunteer basis. I suffered low self esteem that was debilitating so I froze in my seat hoping she wouldn't see me. She said, "Anyone else have a book report?" I kept my head down. She said, "okay, everyone is dismissed...Lara, can you come up to my desk please?"

I suspected I would get an F.  Instead she never mentioned the report.
She said, "Lara, I've noticed that you are a good artist and the Yearbook needs someone to do their Layout Design.

Long story longer, I went from yearbook designer, to VCU, the Corcoran School of Art in Washington DC, became an Art Director for a firm there who sent me to Hawaii to cover a Convention there among many other things, then a design firm in Hollywood, won an award in the Communications Arts Magazine, then started my own business. I redesigned my late husband's Sports brochure for his business that took off.

I called the school so I could say "thank you" personally. Mrs. Brown died before I could thank her.
Contact someone in your life who made a difference, however small, and say thank you before it's too late.


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## mrstime (Sep 21, 2022)

I'd love to bring my grandma back, I miss her so much. Then one other person who means as much to me.


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## dobielvr (Sep 22, 2022)

mrstime said:


> I'd love to bring my grandma back, I miss her so much. Then one other person who means as much to me.


I'd love to bring my grandmother back too....we'd have so much fun. 
My mom would have to join us.


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## Just Jeff (Oct 8, 2022)

What if ,  as is the case for normal healthy teenagers thru normal healthy 'oldsters' (a few to several decades old), 
someone, somebody,  can be brought to life ?   (never having died , i.e. not back to life, but new life .... ) 
To potential if not always , eternal life .... ?


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## David777 (Oct 8, 2022)

Bringing back Aristotle into this modern science and technology era, who lived (384–322 B.C.E.) who followed Socrates and Plato building on their philosophies, would probably be a most astounding experience of any past human because he focused more on science.


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