# Phil's Phollies



## SifuPhil (Aug 2, 2015)

It's been a tough few weeks here up in Wilkes-Barre.

Tigger, my roomie's dog, passed away a few weeks ago. Now roomie is in for a heart catheterization on Monday, open heart surgery on Wednesday to be followed by  leg artery surgery sometime in the following weeks.

Add to that - this morning at 1:00am Snagglepuss, her cat, laid down on the kitchen floor and started making strange mewlings. Having been a cat owner many times I recognized the sound - he was dying. I sat with him until just a little while ago when he passed.

*sigh* life can be cruel sometimes.


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## hollydolly (Aug 2, 2015)

Oh good god Phil, what a heartbreaking worrying time you're having at home   I don't know what to say mate...How very tragic for your room-mate to lose her animals just before facing serious surgery...sometimes life can be so cruel ((((hugs)))) to you both, and please God that everything goes smoothly with her surgery.


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## SifuPhil (Aug 2, 2015)

Thanks, Holly ... now I just played "Funeral for a Friend" and I'm sitting here crying. What a big jerk I am. 

Like I've been saying for the past 10 years or so, "No kids, no pets, no plants". Life is SO much easier when you cut yourself off from everyone and everything.


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## Warrigal (Aug 2, 2015)

No Phil, hurting is an attribute of being alive. The pain allows us to know the opposite side of the coin which is joy without taking it for granted.
Cry away all you want but don't shut down emotionally. You have a good heart because it is a heart that loves.

Hugs, my friend :bighug:


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## hollydolly (Aug 2, 2015)

Don't beat yourself up about getting emotional Phil, all of us regardless of how strong we think we are, can only take so much at any one time, and you've got it piled on at the moment . 

I'm sitting here feeling sorry for myself because I can barely walk after an accident 10 days ago..but it's nothing compared to how _you're_ feeling, so just let all that emotion go lovely man..and hope for the best for the future.. :love_heart:


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## SifuPhil (Aug 2, 2015)

Meh - I know death is part of life but I'm tired of dealing with it, and I'm usually the one to deal with it. Maybe that's where I get my morbid sense of humor. 

I'm a Taoist and a martial artist - I'm supposed to be trained NOT to be emotional. I wonder if that training fades with age, or if all the damned meds I'm on are doing it - I know they make me nauseous everyday now since I started taking them. 

Hope you get back up and hopping, Holly, and Dame, I still think life would have been better as Mr. Spock, even _without_ Pon-Far.


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## NancyNGA (Aug 2, 2015)

SifuPhil said:


> Meh - I know death is part of life but I'm tired of dealing with it, and I'm usually the one to deal with it. Maybe that's where I get my morbid sense of humor.



I understand what you're saying, Phil.   I think it does seem to wear you down after a while. I'm sorry you are feeling down.


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## jujube (Aug 2, 2015)

Don't be afraid of your emotions, Phil.  That's what makes us human.


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## Cookie (Aug 2, 2015)

I understand how much it hurts, Phil.  When my beloved cat died last year I vowed never to go through that again and my world was bleak. Time eventually healed me.  It takes a lot of courage and strength to let yourself feel the sadness and grief. Eventually you will feel better.  That is how it is to live on this planet and be human. Take care of yourself.


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## Meanderer (Aug 2, 2015)

Sorry to hear such sad news, Phil.  May better days be ahead!


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## Happyflowerlady (Aug 2, 2015)

Dame Warrigal said:


> No Phil, hurting is an attribute of being alive. The pain allows us to know the opposite side of the coin which is joy without taking it for granted.
> Cry away all you want but don't shut down emotionally. You have a good heart because it is a heart that loves.



As always, Warri has the perfect words, and I totally agree with her.  Having a heart that loves is really the essence of what life is all about. 
It is always so hard when we lose a pet that we love (often more than we love other people); but they live on in our hearts and our dreams. 

I add my hugs and prayers to everyone else's , for you and for your roomie as well.  That sounds like a lot of operations one right after the other....
HFL


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## SeaBreeze (Aug 2, 2015)

Phil, I'm very sorry to hear all you and your roommate have been going through healthwise, I wish the best for her during her heart surgery.  Sympathy to both of you for the loss of Tigger and Snagglepuss...so sad...hugs.


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## SifuPhil (Aug 2, 2015)

Thank you all for your sympathy and for supporting this fallible human. :numbness:


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## Pappy (Aug 2, 2015)

Phil...I totally understand what you are going through. I'm so sorry this happened. I cried like a child when we lost our Sassy.


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## Shalimar (Aug 2, 2015)

Big hugs, Phil. Having a big heart is never easy, tears and grief HURT! But shutting down the pain means shutting out the warmth of our own and other's humanity. That is a form of emotional suicide, and belittles who we are. So much crap for you to deal with all at once must be overwhelming. You have friends here who love you just as you are, warped sense of humour, thinly disguised sensitivity/humanity and all. We are here for you. Pain has it's own timetable, I hope yours eases soon.


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## Shirley (Aug 2, 2015)

*​{{{{Phil}}}}*


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## Lara (Aug 2, 2015)

SifuPhil said:


> Like I've been saying for the past 10 years or so, "No kids, no pets, no plants". Life is SO much easier when you cut yourself off from everyone and everything.


But you don't know that because you've never done that. Right? You have too big of a heart to let go of your life's purpose and to let go of helping others like your roommate. All of us need to feel needed. You are needed. So while it's hard, it's also rewarding and gives your life meaning. It's okay, kids, pets, and plants are stressful (though most of those 3 give back more than we give them)…But it's _not _okay to cut yourself off from everyone and every everything. You're just going through a really hard time right now and need to rant…understandable. 

Soon you'll be remembering these thoughts:

"Don't confuse your path with your destination. Just because it's stormy now doesn't mean that you aren't headed for sunshine."
"Life isn't about waiting for the rain to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain."…I've observed you being good at that here on SF


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## Underock1 (Aug 3, 2015)

I hear you Phil. My sympathy for your plight. I cry often. God I miss my life! If I haven't cried for a few days, I look at a special picture of my gal with our six month old first born. That always sets me off. If I stop crying for too long, it means I'm forgetting, and that terrifies me. The memories are worth the tears.


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## SifuPhil (Aug 3, 2015)

Lara said:


> But you don't know that because you've never done that. Right?



Well ... I don't get to speak to my kids, at least my youngest, and my eldest is down in Georgia in grad school, I have a blue thumb when it comes to plants and now once again I am without animal companionship. 

Three for three.



> "Don't confuse your path with your destination. Just because it's stormy now doesn't mean that you aren't headed for sunshine."



No, it means the Susquehanna will probably flood again. layful:



> "Life isn't about waiting for the rain to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain."…I've observed you being good at that here on SF



I don't mind dancing in the rain; just that my shorts bind up after a while. 



Thank you.


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## SifuPhil (Aug 3, 2015)

Underock1 said:


> I hear you Phil. My sympathy for your plight. I cry often. God I miss my life! If I haven't cried for a few days, I look at a special picture of my gal with our six month old first born. That always sets me off. If I stop crying for too long, it means I'm forgetting, and that terrifies me. The memories are worth the tears.



I'm just not used to "wimping out" (as I call it) - I'm from the School of Men Who Don't Cry. Yeah, I know that has been poo-pooed by modern culture but my heroes have always been more John Wayne than Alan Alda. Yes, I had a happy upbringing but a series of family deaths when I was a pre-teen kind of put the kibosh on crying - I just ran out of tears, I guess - and the martial arts taught me to pony-on through pain.

"The  memories are worth the tears" ... that's something I'll have to investigate. Thanks.


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## Lara (Aug 3, 2015)

Ahhh, John Wayne, "We're gonna take that hill"...Well, it's a new day and I'm glad to see your sense of humor is still in tact Phil…..that's your fuel that will get you through this


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## SifuPhil (Aug 3, 2015)

Lara said:


> Well, it's a new day and I'm glad to see your sense of humor is still in tact Phil…..that's your fuel that will get you through this



That's pretty much all I have left, Lara - the body and looks have disappeared and I sold my last Gomer Pyle collectable ...


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## SifuPhil (Aug 7, 2015)

Roomie is back from the hospital, after a veritable comedy of errors.

First, her cardiac record had been MIXED UP WITH SOMEONE ELSE'S! Yes, the doctors in the first hospital she was going to had somehow mixed up her test results with another person's. 

Luckily she went for the catheterization and subsequent open-heart work to a second hospital with different doctors, who discovered the mix-up.

As a result, she did NOT need the heart surgery. The first hospital had told her she had 3 blockages of 30%, 40% and 70% - turns out she has ONE minor one.

So, she ended up having a stent placed in her affected leg and she's scheduled for home rehab. Much better results.


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## hollydolly (Aug 7, 2015)

OH fantastic news, I was only wondering this morning how she was getting along, what a huge relief all round. ...but dear God getting her cardiac results mixed up with someone else...jeezus...sounds like you have a health service like ours!!


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## SifuPhil (Aug 7, 2015)

Unfortunately I think you're right. 

I guess that's why they say to always get a second opinion ...


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## Lara (Aug 7, 2015)

Good Lord. What a major change of events. You can breathe a sigh of relief now. I'm happy for you both. I agree, get a second opinion!…..

I went for my annual check up with a new doctor last year in a very healthy state. I had a CBC done; Doctor said lab results were good, but then called me a week later to tell me that a new standard had been set for reading lab results and mine now indicated that I needed to be on $tatins and blood pressure medication for life! I told her I'd do ANYthing before putting toxic $tatins in my body, like exercise, diet, etc. She gave me all kinds of horror stories if I didn't take the meds and called in my prescriptions. 

I never picked them up but instead went home, googled, and found that I should get a Calcium Plaque Scan before taking $tatins. It said if you don't have much plaque in your arteries then you don't have any problem. Within 12 hours I also randomly, by happenstance, came across a doctor's show on TV…topic was the Plaque Scan!...saying the same thing I read online. Is that divine intervention or what! 

I called my doctor and she said, "Sure, if you want to pay $200 for this scan". Um, that sure beats the cost of $tatins for life! A handsome radiologist fought with the insurance company for an hour, on my behalf, to consider the scan preventative and BCBS finally agreed to cover the cost. The doctor said the scoring goes up to a 5. He said if you have a 1 or 2 then you don't have any problem. I got the scan done. The next day the lab results were in...my score was…..drumroll…..0 !! I told my doctor and she then agreed with me that I didn't have a problem. 

Nevertheless, it scared me so I've been swimming daily, watching what I eat, reducing salt, etc. I got a new doctor. She did a physical on me and the lab results were stellar. No problems across the board. She attributed my good health to the swimming and rolled her eyes at the previous doctor. She said, "You have nothing to worry about and you're not about to have any heart attack".


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## SifuPhil (Aug 7, 2015)

Wow, it's good to hear another story with a happy ending, Lara!

It seems that nowadays its almost an adversarial relationship with doctors - you have to fight to get attention, you have to fight to get treatment and you have to fight to get the RIGHT treatment. It also seems that, whether because of their case-load or fear of malpractice or whatever, they take the quickest route available to them for treatment, whether it's even the correct one or not. Maybe they ARE being overworked, what with the insurance company regulations and all, but still - "do no harm". 

I'm glad you did your "due diligence".


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## NancyNGA (Aug 7, 2015)




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## Meanderer (Aug 9, 2015)

Good News, Phil and Lara!!


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## Lara (Aug 9, 2015)

Intensive Care Unit...


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## SeaBreeze (Aug 9, 2015)

Phil glad to hear your roomie didn't need such a serious operation, scary about that mix up though.


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## SifuPhil (Aug 9, 2015)

... and of course she's still in pain - now she says it's her hip and ankle.

Sometimes you just can't win.

On the positive side, there's a James Bond marathon on TV.


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## SifuPhil (Dec 31, 2015)

*Poor Little Misguided Thing*

Just to fill in some time ... here's something I wrote several years ago, concerning a would-be writer on a writer's forum ...

*Poor Little Misguided Thing*


I am a member of a writer's forum that is quite innovative and totally motivating. It provides me with the company of like-minded writers, people who 
actually write for pay rather than the horde of wanna-be's that infest more generalized boards.

So it came as a bit of a surprise that a new member appeared and started posting how she wanted to write a book.


It wasn't so much her desire - I can't fault one for _wanting _to write - but the WAY she went about expressing this desire, coupled with a few other things she mentioned and the way she responded to various messages from the members, brought me to the conclusion that this lady is delusional.

As an example: she was explaining how she still hadn't found a topic to write about for her book. She quoted U2's song "_I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For_" (from _The Joshua Tree_) as "_I still found what I'm looking for_".

Hell was unleashed when I pointed out her quoting error.


Here's a few of the messages she wrote that led up to WWIII …




> I've been mulling this over for some time now, and I've decided that I'd like to write a book. So far so good... My problem is that I wouldn't know where/how to start. I don't even have an idea of the type of book I want to write. I just know I want to write one. Now, I appreciate that this post is at best, vague, but if any of my fellow (members) can give me an advice/help/suggestions/slap around the face with a wet fish then I would be grateful.



Wow - way to impress your audience right out of the gate. And remember that "slap" remark - it comes to bear later.


This reply came from the owner of the site, a published author like myself:




> I don't want to throw cold water on a warm idea... but I think you'll need a bit more motivation than "I feel like it". Writing a book - especially a fiction book - is a LOT of work, even when you've got what you think is an awesome idea. I'm not saying don't do it. I'm just saying that your best bet for the moment might be to do as (a member) suggested: keep notes, jot things down, gather ideas. Once you hit on the thing you want to do, you'll know it and it'll start to form - then you can start writing.



But she wasn't happy with this early - and quite logical - reply; she had to worry this topic like a dog with a juicy T-bone. She was out for justification, critics (and people merely trying to be helpful) be damned!

She went on to perfunctorily thank the owner, as well as two other members who agreed with him, then posted this gem:




> I haven't written fiction for years, but when I was at school I wrote a lot of stories and the teachers were always blown away by them. I even remember back as far as being in Brownies - I wrote a poem for my Writers badge - and Brown Owl took me to one side and asked me if I'd copied it from somewhere else.




Yeah, good ol' Brown Owl - I'm still working on getting through his body of work; VERY famous author.

Call me cynical, but somehow I don't see the connection between earning a Merit Badge and actually writing and publishing a book. Merit Badges are like reputation points on a forum: they make you feel good when you get one, but when you grow up you realize they don't mean a blessed thing.


Hang around - the party is just starting.


She goes on …




> ... it's kind of a 'need' in me - I can't be any more specific than that. I figure I've got one book in me, at least …




Personally I think she's filled with much more than "need", but we'll let that slide for now.


And then, the gem that caused my little brain-to-finger editor to go on vacation:




> I do like the idea of a book of 'something' on a specific theme, rather than a 300 page novel. I feel like I just need that 'spark' of an idea, and I'll be off and running. But, in the words of U2, I still found what I'm looking for.



Wow - I am SO glad you want to write a book on "something". I think that's what the world really needs.


Look ... with the advent of self-publishing anyone can write and publish a book. You can go with the POD (Publish On Demand) system that is offered by many online houses, including Google, Cafe Press and others where you submit a manuscript, they edit it (usually at extra cost) and then print out as many as you want.


In fact, there's even a machine that you can pretty much stick in your pages and your money and out pops a book!


Well ... not really. The book has to already be in the computer, which in turn means utilizing the traditional practice of submitting a manuscript to whatever publisher you're using (the machine pictured here is used by Google).


Basically it's a POD machine, meant to be used by a publisher, but in the near future it's entirely possible that you could become an instant author while waiting for your Triple BypassBurger at Mickey D's.


But I'm sure our little scribe doesn't know that.


The funny thing is, I never wanted to write a book until AFTER I started writing for Helium a couple of years ago.


NOW I understand! Here's a lady who writes for a content mill and thinks that qualifies her to write a book. She's got the attention span of a hummingbird, having banged out fluff articles for so long, and thinks that translates out to the time, effort and PAIN involved in publishing a book.


Once again she hoists herself on her own petard:




> I don't think I'm suited to a great tome of work, my style of writing tends to be short and sharp, and I like to inject humour wherever possible. I'm not one for lots of descriptive, 'flowery' stuff.



This is becoming uncomfortable to watch - like being witness to an impending train-wreck. Somebody had to save this hapless victim-to-be from herself. No one else was forthcoming, so I bravely stepped up:




> One of the first things you might want to do, before you write this book, is to learn the art of quoting properly ...Forgive my bluntness, but you're giving all the wrong answers in all the wrong ways. Perhaps everyone here is too nice to say it plainly, but you don't sound like you're ready to write a book. Maybe there are other, hidden qualities that you have that will prove me wrong, and I truly hope for your sake there are, but I just don't see them yet.




Ooh, yeah, Phil - way to finesse the ladies! I'm SURE she's swooning as we speak!


* sigh*  People bring this on themselves. As my patron saint Anthony Hopkins once said, he "prefers to eat the free-range rude". I guess I'm dinner.


But c'mon - who could resist the bait here? That worm looked soooo juicy and shiny, dancing in front of my eyes. I ask again - WHO could resist? Not me.


Her last reply ... sadly, it was her death knell ...




> I'm fully aware of how to quote properly, thanks. And I thought you were extremely rude. Not blunt. Rude. I didn't join this forum to be personally attacked.




Wow. Just ... wow. I couldn't resist - I chomped down on that worm as if I hadn't eaten in weeks. First, the softening-up process:




> If you purposely misquoted to appear clever, then the sentence structure leading up to the punchline was poorly constructed. Otherwise, I stand by my assertion that you misquoted.



... and then the swift killing blow -




> If you think THAT was bad, what will you do when your editors, publishers, reviewers and reading public have at you with both barrels?



"Personal attack"? "Rude"??? If I wanted to be rude and personally attack you, I think I would have crafted my reply a bit differently; perhaps something along the lines of:


Listen, dumb-bunny: there are two things you need to know right now - you're more out-of-touch than a virgin in a rural Catholic school, and the world always needs more ditch-diggers. Maybe then you could bury that putrid pile of puss you call a book without soiling yourself.


Don't annoy the dancing bear. Ever.


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## Shalimar (Dec 31, 2015)

Ok, Philly, now what do you reeeely think?layful:


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## SifuPhil (Dec 31, 2015)

Right?

People think I'm bad now - they should have seen me a while back. I'm still picking out traces of DNA from under my nails ...


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## NancyNGA (Dec 31, 2015)

I'm with you, Phil.

When someone who knows very little tries to argue with the pros, and then whines when they get a little criticism back, a red flag should pop up.  I'm guessing it has little to do with writing a book, and more about getting attention. Or maybe she just misjudged the sophistication of the folks on your forum.


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## SifuPhil (Dec 31, 2015)

Well, Nancy, I think part of it was the huge rush of POD - Print On Demand - and of course the whole "Amazon effect" where all of a sudden everyone can be a published author, even if they just grab a bunch of grocery lists off the kitchen table. The traditional route of going through a brick-and-mortar publisher has been compromised and along with it such little niceties as editing and rewrites.


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## Son_of_Perdition (Dec 31, 2015)

My one and only attempt at writing was on request (order) from my dept manager to write a job description for a senior tech support.  It was going to be used for hiring and promotions.  I took to it and created one that entailed all areas of what was required from our position gained through years of on-hands experience.  I did it more as a lark, embellishing, adding everything I could think of that was asked of me during my tenure as a senior tech.  It was done more as a joke never expecting to have it accepted.  I'll be darned it became part of the Human Resource's guidelines.  Any one of my co-workers who read it on our web said no one could qualify for that position, not even our in-house gifted system analyst (it was said he was the number 2 man nationwide rated by IBM).  Don't know but he was fantastic & even better very humble. 

My hat's off to all writers, it's not an easy task.


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## SifuPhil (Dec 31, 2015)

Son_of_Perdition said:


> My one and only attempt at writing was on request (order) from my dept manager to write a job description for a senior tech support.  It was going to be used for hiring and promotions.  I took to it and created one that entailed all areas of what was required from our position gained through years of on-hands experience.  I did it more as a lark, embellishing, adding everything I could think of that was asked of me during my tenure as a senior tech.  It was done more as a joke never expecting to have it accepted.  I'll be darned it became part of the Human Resource's guidelines.  Any one of my co-workers who read it on our web said no one could qualify for that position, not even our in-house gifted system analyst (it was said he was the number 2 man nationwide rated by IBM).  Don't know but he was fantastic & even better very humble.



That's pretty darned impressive! 

Writing corporate material such as job descriptions always eluded me. I just couldn't get into the mindset that you obviously did - good for you!



> My hat's off to all writers, it's not an easy task.



But still much easier than digging ditches. layful:


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## fureverywhere (Dec 31, 2015)

that putrid pile of puss...heeheehee couldn't resist the typo but it might mean she's a miserable cat or  sad lady parts.

But agreed you can't just stagger into writing. Some of the best written stories write themselves. I found a long buried one the other day and shall submit it to my favorite dog magazine...and I barely remember writing it, but it's the kind of story they look for. Then again I have a cousin. If you've ever heard of a series called Left Behind, mad popular with folks who enjoy gnawing on the Da Vinci Code. My cousin wrote a whole several volumes of Christian fiction in the same vein and it's sold rather well. Seems anyone can be a writer these days...just need to find their niche market.


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## SifuPhil (Dec 31, 2015)

_Left Behind_ is some heavy reading, and I agree that if you know your niche  and can exploit it you've got it made.

Unfortunately for me, the market for a series with a protagonist who is paranoid / schizoid and a gimp is rather small right now ...


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## SifuPhil (Dec 31, 2015)

fureverywhere said:


> that putrid pile of puss...heeheehee couldn't resist the typo but it might mean she's a miserable cat or  sad lady parts.



I didn't even catch that - see what happens when you don't have an editor? :chargrined:


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## SifuPhil (Jan 3, 2016)

The eviscerated turkey lay on the platter on the table, it's legs and wings splayed, its brown skin bathing in its own juices.



Torn wrapping paper and shredded bows and ribbons are scattered here and there around the Christmas tree, itself looking like it had been through a war.


Perhaps it had. Perhaps we ALL had.


Why do we subject ourselves to this madness every year? They say that one sign of insanity is that you repeat an action over and over, expecting a different outcome.


Perhaps these holidays, these cherished times so associated with family and bonhomie, are insane?



I'm afraid I can't tell you – I'm on the outside of the great wall, looking in. I'm a stranger in a strange land. I don't celebrate Christmas or New Years.


Why should I? I have no family to speak of; friends that aren't connected to me through my computer monitor are scarce. I have no religion. No boxes of ornaments going back to Great-Grandma's time. No horse-drawn sleigh. 



I don't even like turkey that much.  


The mad rush during the months (it used to be weeks, and before that days) before Christmas is to me a display of lack of class, of all the baser elements of humanity. Of madness. Of crowd mentality gone very, very wrong.


Yet I cry every year at the end of _It's A Wonderful Life_, and Bing Crosby still sends shivers up my spine when I hear _White Christmas. _A nicely decorated tree still catches my eye and the sight of children rushing down the stairs on Christmas morning still brings a smile to my face.


New Years? Well, it's just another day, right? What's the big deal about celebrating some arbitrary point in time and investing it with such magical properties? What's the point of it all anyway – eat too much junk food, get drunk and watch a big ball fall down?


Yet there has to be something to it – so many millions of people, around the globe, make a big deal of it.


What's going on here?  


Are these days really imbued with some kind of magic, or is it just, as usual in my world, the crowd of sheeple following each others tails, performing the rituals without understanding their meanings?  



In the run-up to Christmas I have to fight the impulse to put my foot through the TV, with all of its blatant, screaming ads to hurry up and buy the latest and greatest gizmos. God forbid you don't have the latest, smart big-screen television, or the latest iteration of the holy iPhone (the latest model is 1/8” wider!!!). Black Friday? The Holy Grail of greed and materialism.  



As soon as the day itself has come and gone – usually not without its share of dashed expectations and stuffing-flinging family fights around the table – we are inundated with the New Years Special ads. Who are YOU watching this year? Ooo, let's Tweet about it! Give me a break – a bunch of talent-less talking heads trying their best to come up with something fresh to say for a few hours, earnestly working to appear excited but coming off as only stridently desperate.  



Take all of that away and what are you left with?


Silence.


You can hear the snow falling and the church bells ringing. You can feel the sharp tang of the cold air on your nose.  


You can almost, for a moment, feel the magic.


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## Karen99 (Jan 5, 2016)

I enjoyed reading your thoughts on Christmas...and maybe that moment of magic flickers very brightly before it dissolves into smoke...


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## SifuPhil (Jan 5, 2016)

I think you're right. 

... about the magic moment, I mean - I _assumed_ you would enjoy reading my thoughts.


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## NancyNGA (Jan 5, 2016)

SifuPhil said:


> Take all of that away and what are you left with?
> 
> 
> Silence.
> ...



Been there.  Beautiful words, Phil.


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## SifuPhil (Jan 5, 2016)

NancyNGA said:


> Been there.  Beautiful words, Phil.



Thanks, Nancy.

I've had a moment or two like that over the years - that's how I recognized it.


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## Karen99 (Jan 5, 2016)

SifuPhil said:


> I think you're right.
> 
> ... about the magic moment, I mean - I _assumed_ you would enjoy reading my thoughts.



Well I did.  That line about the "eviscerated" turkey did bring a few strange mental pictures..but I'm thinking that carcass is still good for soup.


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## Yaya (Jan 5, 2016)

Phil - we are all sorry that you have to go thru this. We never forget the animal we loved that died. Remember also there are so many animals that desperately need a home and love.


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## SifuPhil (Jan 5, 2016)

Karen99 said:


> Well I did.  That line about the "eviscerated" turkey did bring a few strange mental pictures..but I'm thinking that carcass is still good for soup.



_And _the annual family football game - for a while at least. 



Yaya said:


> Phil - we are all sorry that you have to go thru this. We never forget the animal we loved that died. Remember also there are so many animals that desperately need a home and love.



Thanks, Yaya - are you referring to the turkey?


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## NancyNGA (Jan 5, 2016)

SifuPhil said:


> Thanks, Yaya - are you referring to the turkey?



:lol:


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## SifuPhil (Jan 5, 2016)

NancyNGA said:


> :lol:



That was cruel of me, I know - sorry, Yaya. 

We're doing our best to save one cat at a time.


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## SifuPhil (Jan 29, 2016)

*The Dangers of Cannabis: A Forced Essay*

I had written this some time back, and it's a long one - over 2,500 words - so I'll understand if you pass on this, but I wanted to place it here for posterity.

   It seems that a marijuana dealer in the U.K. was arrested and given a choice - 
   Convicted UK pot dealer Terry Bennett,  32, was just sentenced to the grown-up version of writing “I will not  chew gum in class” on the chalkboard 100 times. He must pen a 5,000-word  essay about the dangers of cannabis by April 4—or spend a year in jail. 
 source 

 

   Beside the considerations of whether or not this is brainwashing or a  curtailing of free speech, I think this presents a fantastic opportunity  for writing a satirical piece. 


   Here's what I would write if I were in Terry's shoes … 




*'''The Dangers of Cannabis''' - A Forced Essay by Johnny Joint*

      Cannabis, or Cannabis sativa, aka “marijuana”, “Mary Jane”, “Pot”,  “Weed” “Muggles”, “Dope”, “Ganja” and a hundred other names, is a  fast-growing plant with commercial, medical and recreational uses that  has been utilized without incident for thousands of years, but only  since it was outlawed by a handful of powerful politicians and corporate  shills has it acquired a bad reputation. 
   No matter how upstanding you are, you are likely to have encounters with police that can result in arrest. Here’s why: 


» *Improved technology and training* enable police to arrest people for petty crimes that in the past were ignored due to lack of manpower and resources. 
 

» *A law enforcement doctrine*  called proactive policing has spread across the land. It calls for zero  tolerance of petty offenses, including such things as jaywalking,  loitering, and drinking a beer on the street. Proactive policing has  reduced crime—no question—but to do so it requires huge numbers of  arrests of petty offenders who in years past would never have seen the  inside of a jail. 
 

» *The volume of arrests* has  caused a boom in jail and court construction and the creation of a  criminal justice system that employs hundreds of thousands and requires  ever more arrests to justify its existence. 
 

» *The near universal installation of computers*  in police cruisers, and their ability to access law enforcement  databases instantly, allows police to make more arrests for what I call  administrative crimes. These are failure to maintain tags, licenses, and  car insurance; outstanding arrest warrants; driving with suspended  licenses; failure to appear at court hearings; and violation of  probation and parole. None of these crimes involves theft, violence, or  injury. They are not offenses against people but against the state. In  the past, paper records made arrests for these crimes difficult,  especially when the offender moved to another state. With the advent of  computers, the jails are stuffed with people guilty of not paying fees,  not doing paperwork, not showing up in court, and in general thumbing  their noses at the system. 
 

» *People are shocked* to  discover that they can be arrested for things they didn’t even know were  illegal. For example, millions of parents chauffeuring the kids in the  van or SUV don’t realize that the stimulants and antidepressants  prescribed for hyperactive children are scheduled narcotics. Kids carry  these pills around in their pockets and book bags. The pills scatter  inside the vehicle and can get Mom busted if she cannot produce a  written prescription during a routine traffic stop. 
 

» *Dope, my friends,* let’s talk  about dope. The magic herb is everywhere, as are the powders and  crystals that bliss out millions every day. The world may be becoming  more tolerant of drugs, but cops, courts, and legislatures are not.  Almost any quantity of a controlled substance can get you arrested in  most places. Most people have no idea how serious drug possession is. 
 

» *People have worse manners*  than in the past. Whether this is due to less effective parenting, a  decline in church attendance, increased use of drugs, disorder at public  schools, or the pervasive influence of TV shows where everyone is “in  your face” is a topic best left to the talk shows. All I know for a fact  is that people don’t know how to behave. They act out in front of cops  and get busted for being obnoxious. 
   Ladies, you, yes you, are paying for a major portion of the criminal  justice system. The system is not funded exclusively by that perennially  overburdened group, the taxpayers. A big chunk of system funding comes  from defendants’ families. By and large this means women are paying  thousands of dollars to get the men they love legal representation,  reduced sentences, and freedom. Women pay the lawyers, women pay the  bail bonds, women pay the drug court costs, and women pay the probation  fees. When men get arrested, women get poor. 


   Every day, at the courts, in attorneys’ offices, and in probation  departments, one sees a stream of women clutching money orders funded by  mortgaging their homes and liquidating their savings. Often it’s more  than one woman. It’s mom, sister, aunt, and cousin who have cleaned  themselves out to get their man out of jail. Money that would have  funded a new home or car, an education, or a retirement is swallowed up  in an instant by the financial black hole that is the criminal justice  system. 


   The system devours the investment capital of poor Americans and is one  of the major reasons the poor stay poor. Elected officials love to  describe how much money they pour into poor neighborhoods and community  services. They never, ever, discuss how much is drained out by the  criminal justice system. Ladies, the best way to keep your savings in  the bank and your folding money in your purse is to keep your men away  from cops and out of jail. 




*The First Danger*

    Therefore, the first danger of cannabis is that you'll lose your money,  your car, your home, your family and your future – all because of a  plant that has been repeatedly proven to have far more benefit than  drawback, and a broken political and legal system. 


   Your fees, fines etc. will go in part to pay for your incarceration, but  you won't necessarily be staying in a government-run institution. More  likely you'll be doing your time in a privately-run prison that has won  the concession for operating the correctional institutions in your town. 


   These private companies make fortunes off of your arrest, and make no  mistake – so do the cops. The more arrests they have the greater their  chances for promotions and for increased government funding in the “war  against drugs”. Your freedom and your future are sacrificed in order to  make a profit for these groups. 




*The Second Danger*

    So we find the second danger of cannabis – you will enrich others as you suffer. 


   Even though marijuana has infused through every level of society, from  poor to rich, the stereotypical user is seen as either an aging hippie  or a rap-talking gangsta. You either wear a head-band with flowers  printed on it or a black do-rag. There's nothing allowed between these  two extremes. 
   Yet every single day doctors, lawyers, judges, policemen, housewives,  corporate executives, students, professional and amateur sportsmen –  they all partake of cannabis. You could be talking to your local Avon  dealer and never suspect that in reality she is a drug-crazed demon  ready to devour you and your entire family, including the dog, the cat  and the three goldfish that Junior has in his room. 




*The Third Danger*

    This is the third danger of cannabis – that you're going to be unfairly judged and categorized. 


   The great majority of pot smokers are recreational users, and as such  they usually have a few years of experience beneath their hemp belts in  regulating their ganja intake. It is only the total newcomer to toking  that may commit the cardinal sin of over-smoking. The result? They'll  get a bad case of the munchies, devour anything edible in the house,  then fall fast asleep with a half-eaten Twinkie sticking out of their  mouth. 
   And that's the worst that can happen. 


   But to hear the brainwashed opponents of marijuana tell it, you will  become ADDICTED to the demon weed. They all KNOW that pot is merely the  gateway drug to stronger drugs such as methamphetamine, cocaine and  heroin. Of course this is all bullshit, but it's the fairy story that  has been drilled into the heads of the public for years, ever since  Harry Anslinger started his bid to become the Emperor of the Anti-Drug  Empire. Weed does not lead to stronger drug use, any more than smoking  cigarettes leads to smoking those DeNoble guinea-stinker cigars or  drinking a few beers leads to scarfing down all the perfume in your  neighbor's medicine cabinet. 




*The Fourth Danger*

    So the fourth evil of cannabis is that you're going to have to explain, over and over again, exactly WHY weed is not evil. 


   Alcohol often leads to driving like an idiot, fighting, pissing your  pants in public and many other embarrassing events. Cigarette smoking  leads to throat, lung, mouth and various other cancers, makes you smell  like an ashtray, turns your fingernails yellow and makes you an outlaw  in today's health-conscious society. 


   Cannabis makes you horny, hungry and sleepy, hopefully in that order.  You don't feel like starting fights; you don't really want to go out  driving; if you're smart enough to consume your ganja by either eating  it or using a vaporizer then your health risks are minimized. 


   But you'll still be seen as an outlaw. While some younger folk might  enjoy developing such a “rep”, we older folks just want to be left alone  to toke in peace, get a piece, eat a slice and sleep real nice. 


   Again, long-term studies – double-blind, peer-reviewed – have PROVEN  that marijuana, i.e. cannabis, is no more dangerous than eating  flash-frozen broccoli with your chemically-enhanced steak. 


   And we ALL do that, now don't we? 




*The Fifth Danger*

    The fifth evil of cannabis – you'll be perceived, and treated, as a  criminal, just because the political and legal systems don't want to  give up their profit-making rackets. 


   Modern society has become one big competition. From the time we enter  Kindergarten we are urged, nay, taught to be better than everyone else.  We have to score the highest on tests in order to enter the college of  our choice, so that we can compete with others like us to graduate with  the highest GPA, so that we can compete equally for that high-status,  high-paying corporate job, so that we can afford to buy that huge house  and expensive luxury car so that we can compete with our neighbors … 


   McDonald's competes with Burger King; Ford with GM; America with just  about every single friggin' Third-World country. The U.K. competes with  itself, in the process falling to the lowest levels of employment,  satisfaction and pride since Cromwell stomped around the Blessed Isle.  The mighty Brits with their stiff upper-lips compensate by sentencing  blokes with a couple of pounds of happy herb to writing ludicrous essays  about the evils of something that they KNOW, through years of  experience, is a blessing from Nature, but once again because of the  short-sightedness of the societies we live in is seen as a horrible  aberration from the norm. 


   Competition breeds ego and violence; competition means there is a winner  AND a loser. But all that pales when you're driving the newest-model  FartMaster 3000-E Luxury Coupe, doesn't it? It's almost worth all the  pain, suffering and loss you've inflicted on your “enemy”, isn't it? 


   Buddha forbid we kick back, do up a few righteous joints of Haze and  decide to play Stoner Monopoly for a few hours, laughing, hugging and  smiling all the while. 


   Yeah, that would just be criminal, wouldn't it? 




*The Sixth Danger*

    Cannabis Evil #6: You might become less competitive, and the world economy will come crashing down around your sandal-shod feet. 


   To be totally honest here (since I REALLY don't want to spend the next  365 days avoiding “Bubba”), cannabis usage DOES have a couple of  peccadillos – you become forgetful, you aren't nearly as motivated as  the guy doing coke or meth, and you start to think that the cartoons on  the telly are the inventions of geniuses who should be elected world  leaders. You might stare at the palm of your hand for a couple of hours,  marveling at the intricacy of the lines contained therein. You might  get on the floor with your cat and play “Tom and Jerry”, or you might go  out for a walk and marvel at the clouds. 


   In a word, you won't be PRODUCTIVE, and THAT is the driving force of our  world today. If you don't PRODUCE something, be it an object or a  service, you are seen as a waste of human life. You are referred to by  such terms as “gadfly”, “layabout” and “ne'er-do-well” or, in the modern  world, as “that ******* lazy bum”. 




*The Seventh Danger*

    This is the seventh evil of cannabis – you aren't as maniacally  productive as the next guy. You might actually find time to play with  your kids, make love to your wife or girlfriend or just commune with  your God (or Goddess, or His Noodly Appendages, or Xenu, or whatever  floats your boat). 




*The Eighth Danger*

    The eighth evil of cannabis is that many tokers will develop an interest  in growing their own supply of herb, in order to assure quality and  quantity. They will read up on growing techniques, probably spending a  couple of bucks on how-to manuals from Amazon or Tokin' Toys, then when  they are ready to take the plunge they'll go ahead and order a starter  kit consisting of a few trays, cubes of rockwool, fertilizer, lamps and  so on, in the process stimulating the world economy just that little  bit. 


   Statistics tell us that only about 50% of these first-time farmers will  end up with a viable crop, but they won't all give up at that point.  They'll read a bit more, buy some fancier equipment (enriching the  economy further still) and will likely be victorious in their efforts.  They will be rewarded with a bumper crop of sticky, glowing herb that  will help them to become one with the Tao, or at least get them ready  for a marathon viewing session of the Naughty Night Nurse trilogy. 


   But in doing all of this home growing our intrepid farmer is  short-cutting the accepted economic model, growing HIS OWN by HIS OWN  HANDS. He isn't paying inflated prices to middlemen who wouldn't know a  spliff from a queef. He isn't participating in the Master Plan, as set  forth by The Powers That Be. 


   He isn't playing cricket, by gum! 




*The Ninth Danger*

    The ninth cannabis evil is concerned with the generation of envy in  non-toking observers. If you should be outed as a pot smoker you will  instantly become the envy of those who, for whatever reasons –  financial, religious, moral or legal – do not partake. They will become  fired up with the Word of the Lord or the Word of the Judges or the Word  of Aunt Tilly, all of whom have clearly cited smoking weed as the  ultimate evil act. 


   But they are also envious of your freedom, your experimental outlook, your smiling, laughing countenance. 
   They will HATE you for being happy. 




*The Tenth Danger*

    The tenth and (for now) last evil of cannabis - by smoking and toking,  you are joining the ranks of some heavy-hitters throughout history, men  and women who are renowned for their genius, whether it be in the field  of fine arts, business, science or a thousand other pursuits. Entire  industries – the rap business, for example – would not even exist,  making it's masters tons of money, were it not for cannabis. 


   And this fact will bring forth jealousy in those who do not smoke. They  will question why you are putting yourself so far above them, walking  around with that smug look of self-righteousness on your face and in  general acting like your defecation is not odoriferous. 


   Congratulations, stoner – you have invoked the green-eyed beast! 




*In Conclusion*

    Well, now … that's 2,500 words in a little over an hour and a half. I'm sure Terry can pull this off to everyone's satisfaction. 


   Good luck, Brother! If you need a hand with the edits and such, ring me up.


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## Shalimar (Jan 29, 2016)

Good, Philly. Now it is time to light up my beautiful blue ceramic cat pipe.


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## SifuPhil (Jan 29, 2016)

Shalimar said:


> Good, Philly. Now it is time to light up my beautiful blue ceramic cat pipe.



Oh, meow! You've got the right idea!


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## rider1046 (Jan 29, 2016)

Not a fan of smoking marijuana or tobacco, though I was addicted to the latter for nearly 25 years before kicking the habit, but did enjoy your views. Smoking Marijuana to me is like motorcycle helmet laws and being able to enjoy a beer in my pickup on the way home from work. I may obey these laws, but it's only to avoid the ticket, not because I believe they are good laws for everyone under all circumstances. I remember the good ole days in Tennessee when I could get in off the road in my big truck, stop at the corner market by my terminal, buy two bottles of Coors and drink them on the 45 minute drive home from work, then have supper, shower and climb in bed and I'd be out like a light! All legal and safe!


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## SifuPhil (Jan 29, 2016)

That's a huge problem - that we do what we do out of fear, not out of common sense. So many laws are over-restrictive these days, seeming to be knee-jerk reactions to the voters' whims. 

My sister was killed by a drunk driver, but I would never begrudge anyone a beer or two on a hot day. It's all about that common sense I mentioned, not going to extremes and getting blotto drunk or hopelessly stoned, then getting behind the wheel.


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## AprilT (Jan 29, 2016)

Phil, I thought, but, who else could appreciate this, I just saw it on FB a few minutes ago and remembered this thread.


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## SifuPhil (Jan 29, 2016)

:lofl:

Thank you - that's one of the cleverest things I've heard!


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## vickyNightowl (Jan 30, 2016)

Shalimar,I liike the way you think 

Phil,very nice read. 'Sigh' I remember when...lol


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## SifuPhil (Feb 1, 2016)

*To Live with Heart*

*An article I wrote for a magazine a while back ...


To live with heart* requires living with feeling. Everybody has  sentiments. When we are mindful of how we feel, we are in touch with a  fundamental  piece of ourselves. Living with heart implies we live  with all our emotions, tolerating all, even the tormenting ones. Huge  numbers of us decide to acknowledge the cheerful ones and deny those  that don't feel so great. Why do we do this? We would rather disregard  them than face them. We don't know how to handle them, how to express  them or how to mend the torment. As a general rule sentiments are a  complex constraint in our lives when we are not mindful of them. This  article will help clear up the secret with the goal that emotions of  pain could be healed and sentiments of satisfaction and joy can prosper.   




*Notice*

    Become mindful of what you're feeling. Watch and tune in, without  judgment, to emotions that are a regular part of your life. From first  getting up to when you put your head on the bed in the evening you  encounter a steady stream of sentiments – changing from moment to  moment. We travel through our days not being completely mindful of  emotions traveling through us. Give them a chance to float through your  mindfulness – only listen as they pass by. For large numbers of us, this  is a novel experience.  


   Noticing is the very first step. In the event that we don't recognize  what we're feeling – then whatever remains of these steps is aimless.  It's similar to if we are sleep-walking through life – making an  insincere effort of living without completely encountering either the  delight or the distress of it. Life holds both and that is the thing  that makes it so rich.  


   Noticing is about change. When we are flying through life on the fast  track there is little time to stop and assess emotions. For a lot of  people, making a significant effort to notice things is something we  stay away from in light of the fact that we may discover a feeling that  is strong to the point that we can't overlook it. A change could be  important - a change of relationship, occupation, area, life style - and  we may be hesitant to face such a change.  


   Assuming that noticing is another experience for you – begin slow and  simple, patient and kind – but start to give careful consideration to  what you're feeling in your commonplace world.  



*Feel*

    Permit yourself to feel. Be honest about any happiness, fatigue,  mistrust, trust or type of energy you may feel. Essentially, ask  yourself, “How would I feel about this?” This could be a brisk  five-second check or, in the event that we have sufficient energy, we  can take a couple of minutes to assess. In the event that more time is  required, discover a calm place and let the emotions rise to the  surface, just to feel them.  


   When we choose to permit sentiments to surface be mindful that they can  come bobbing out when we least expect. It's as though the doors have  been opened, sentiments have been stuck in the corral for quite a while  and they are at last free - so out they come to play. Play with them,  fool around with them, yell with them, _be_ with them – they are a part of you.  


   When we recognize what we feel, then we can choose how we need to handle  those emotions. In the event that we don't have a clue, we are  strolling around a blind side in our future – just as there is a blind  spot in the side-mirror as we are driving down the highway. 



*Understand*

    By sincerely addressing questions of ourselves, we can come to  comprehend the source or inspiration driving our sentiments.  Compassionate comprehension is an immense step toward healing. As  opposed to whipping yourself for being upset or sad, treat yourself like  you might your closest companion. Look to address the problem, listen  and understand. Get some information about these sentiments. “What am I  feeling and why? Have I felt this way in the recent past? Does this  feeling repeat itself? What am I anxious about? Why am I escaping with  these emotions? Why am I hesitant to be honest about how I feel?” In  addressing these inquiries, we start to comprehend ourselves.  


   Cherish yourself as you might your dearest companion and provide for  yourself the same caring attention. When we comprehend the wellspring of  emotions, then we have the data to start recuperating and to understand  the puzzle of feelings.  


   Huge numbers of us are bearing emotions that have been submerged for  quite a while – from youth, a lost fellowship, or an apparent  disappointment. We couldn't or didn't adapt to those sentiments at the  time – and the aftermath from those impacts our perspective of the world  today. Getting in touch with healing alters us, our perspective of the  world, and how we communicate with those around us. It's similar to a  heavy weight that has been lifted from our back.  



*Accept*

    These are my sentiments. They are not wonderful or terrible, right or  wrong – they are a piece of me. Some of them could be serious, some  exciting, and some extremely serene. Don't pass judgment on them, yet  acknowledge them as data about who you are. By not passing judgment on  them, we dispense with the stigma that it is not worthy to have them and  they become to a lesser degree an enormous, scary monster to be  dreaded.  


   As a complex individual, we can anticipate that sentiments will change  minute by minute, hour by hour, step by step. Accept, without judgment  or feedback, this consistent stream of feeling. With this falling and  rising of feeling, we take in something new about ourselves and our  general surroundings. Sentiments provide for us important and vital  data.  



*Heal*

    We need to feel it to heal it – so we can discharge it and let it go.  There is no profit for us to keep a strong grip on harmful feelings from  the past. These sentiments are similar to dragging a pack of rocks,  lumps of fear, from the past as we stroll toward what's to come. Rocks  weigh us down and keep us from advancing, from exploiting new chances  and encounters.  


   It's alright to invest time feeling pitiful, disappointed or mortified.  Everybody feels these things. Once in a while we have whispered and  spit, kicked and wailed in light of the fact that these sentiments were  so powerful. Now and then we have stuffed them and chose to believe that  we were even more unlovable. I would encourage you to invest time in  hosting a big pity party - a timed compassion party – and when the  gathering is over, truly release it! Settle on a choice to heal it, as  opposed to stuffing it!  


   As opposed to discovering a profit in keeping a firm grip on the wounded  feeling, discover a profit to release it. The help and freedom that  results from discharging old hurts is astounding – a new individual  develops. That individual can be you. 



*Love*

    I am an individual – not perfect – I'm not supposed to be. I acknowledge  all my warts, spot and defects as a major aspect of who I am. Those are  extraordinary, distinctive parts of the character that is me. I am the  genuine article and an exceptionally adorable, commendable individual.  
   Ordinarily we are the least wanting to love ourselves. We can provide  for others, be patient and kind with them – but are exceptionally  unforgiving of ourselves. Our desires are farfetched and when we don't  reach them, we thrash ourselves for failing.  


   How about we stop this, back off once again, and provide ourselves  credit for being who we are, at this point in time. Yes, we've committed  errors; along these lines so have others. So what? I'm still a worthy,  commendable individual with much love to give and much love to get. I'm  mending the wounds of fear with the goal that I can open to the healing  elegance of love. I'm adoring myself – as I am at this moment!  



*Fear*

    Emotions of fear can halt us. We are hesitant to begin another  relationship, make a telephone call, or enlist in a class. Something  inside us lets us know we can't succeed, something awful will happen, or  we will be humiliated. The most personal reasons for alarm are those  identified with how we feel about ourselves. We frequently think we are  not a commendable, significant, adorable individual. These emotions,  from within, impact our activities and decisions on the outside.  


   As opposed to letting fear stop us, use it – to mend, to be courageous  enough to take a stab at something new regardless of the fact that we  are fearful. Often we will find that the dread is greater in our mind  than it is in actuality. Taking a step – some kind of an activity –  breaks up the fear and after that we are allowed to take the next  logical step.  


   We are well-acquainted with the emotion of fear. We have all existed  with those feelings. We are presumably more acquainted with the emotion  of fear than emotions of affection. Fear could be a companion or an  enemy. Make it your companion – use it to grow.  



*Decide to Change*

    We can decide to change old patterns of behavior by permitting ourselves  to feel the full extent of emotions, from bliss to depression. This  decision will change our actions and practices in light of the fact that  we are looking into feelings, as opposed to staying away from them.  


   Our decision to change places us in the position of learning about  ourselves. As we travel this way, we should search for how we can change  old restricting habits, be mindful of new practices, and listen to what  our feelings tell us about the distinctive decisions we are making. How  do these new decisions feel? In what manner will this influence my  life? What have I found out about myself? These decisions will take us  into our futures.  



*Get Ready for the Ride*

    When we go to the sea we watch waves collide with the shore, washing  over the sandy beach. The waves are constant, ceaseless, once in a while  furious and off and on again exceptionally tender. They travel to every  part of the tremendous sea carrying different animals and flotsam and  jetsam onto the sand. As the waves come in and hit the sandy beach the  sand moves and settles back once more, waiting up for the following  wave.  


   It is really the same with feelings. They may set out for our  mindfulness from long ago and far away. When the wave of vitality from  this feeling hits our mental and emotional beach it moves the sand of  our life. Often the waves of feeling come fast and furious, as in a sea  tempest. The torrents more than once smash into us and we feel beaten  and doused. When the storm passes and the sun comes out the waves are  much gentler and calmer.  


   When we make a promise to mend wounded feelings, be prepared for the  ride. Our dedication will bring a chance for both storm-powered winds as  well as calm seas. It is important for it to be that way. However,  finishing what has been started means we can anticipate fewer tropical  storms and more excellent, sunny days at the beach.  



*Appreciate the Rewards*

    The vast majority of us function well on the planet we live on. Yet in  the event that you truly speak with individuals, everybody is strolling  around with knots of feeling about things that have happened in their  life. Despite the fact that we are upbeat and fruitful, one needs to  ponder what we could do in the event that we ever mended those knots.  How are they preventing us from having a life that could bring us  significantly more joy and richness?  


   Freedom hails from getting rid of fear-based emotions and at long last  accepting the numerous endowments originating from love. The objective  is to love more and fear less. All sentiments – trust, appreciation,  empathy, excitement, satisfaction, serenity and dissatisfaction,  disarray, doubt, blame and cynicism originate from either love or fear.  Sincerely discharging the fear-based ones clears a path to receiving a  greater number of the gifts arising from love.  


   Will you perform these steps to open your heart to feel? Consider it  this way – explore different avenues regarding feeling. There is nothing  to lose and everything to gain. Open up to a piece of yourself that you  have never investigated. This procedure of learning personal trust will  make you an new individual. On that voyage you will discover numerous  blessings. These blessings will improve your life. You should give these  blessings to yourself. 

 Also at Devtome


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## Shalimar (Feb 1, 2016)

Well said Philly. Very similar to how I endeavour to live.


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## SifuPhil (Feb 1, 2016)

Thank you, m'Lady.

Similar to how I used to live.


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## Shalimar (Feb 1, 2016)

Used to? Perhaps we see different images of the same thing. In my world, the line between what is, and what is not, is often blurred.


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## SifuPhil (Feb 1, 2016)

Shalimar said:


> Used to? Perhaps we see different images of the same thing. In my world, the line between what is, and what is not, is often blurred.



Hmmm ... have to cogitate on that one ...


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## Karen99 (Feb 1, 2016)

Lots of good advice, Phil.  It's a long emotional to-do list..but a worthwhile one. Thank you for sharing this.  I'll read it through again later .


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## SifuPhil (Feb 1, 2016)

Karen99 said:


> Lots of good advice, Phil.  It's a long emotional to-do list..but a worthwhile one. Thank you for sharing this.  I'll read it through again later .



Thanks, Karen.

It was written at a time when I _was_ emotional.


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## SifuPhil (Feb 1, 2016)

Shalimar said:


> Used to? Perhaps we see different images of the same thing. In my world, the line between what is, and what is not, is often blurred.



Okay, I think I understand - I got some sleep.


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## vickyNightowl (Feb 1, 2016)

Phil,this is beautifully written and thought provoking.

We guard ourselves in order not to be hurt,disapointed,unloved etc.
By doing that,we don't allow ourselves to 'feel' and that is the worst part.

We each have a choice for being guarded or allow ourselves to feel,I would pick the latter anytiime.

I'm in a 'quit smoking' group and I realised how easy it is for each one of uss to encourage annd try to help someone else but we don't do it for ourselves.

I try to feel every emotion,even if it means pain,to me it is another emotion ,its better than guardng myself and feeling nothing.


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## SifuPhil (Feb 1, 2016)

vickyNightowl said:


> Phil,this is beautifully written and thought provoking.
> 
> We guard ourselves in order not to be hurt,disapointed,unloved etc.
> By doing that,we don't allow ourselves to 'feel' and that is the worst part.
> ...



Thank you.

Your comments are spot-on. It's funny, but I've changed my mind - or at least, considered other scenarios - since I wrote this.

For example, being open to feelings - yes, it' generally a good thing, but there are times when the mind has to shut down in order to protect itself. It has to throw up the gates to cut off the incessant pain.


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## vickyNightowl (Feb 1, 2016)

SifuPhil said:


> Thank you.
> 
> Your comments are spot-on. It's funny, but I've changed my mind - or at least, considered other scenarios - since I wrote this.
> 
> For example, being open to feelings - yes, it' generally a good thing, but there are times when the mind has to shut down in order to protect itself. It has to throw up the gates to cut off the incessant pain.



The worst for me is being willing to place myself in a vulnerable state as to go through the motions to forgive and healing wounds but the other party is unwilliing to accept and apologise so I have to go through another emotion myself,to accept that,(not forgive) in order to go on.


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## SifuPhil (Feb 12, 2016)

Ahhh ... nothing like a long, hot shower on a 7-degree morning!


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## rider1046 (Feb 29, 2016)

A long time ago I learned to shut down when feelings were getting too intense. If I hadn't, I don't believe I would have survived. I learned to filter the feelings and adjust the intensity, to let the good flow in and divert much of the hurting. Many times, I have been accused of having no feelings and I've never learned how to respond to that. I usually found a response not necessary anyway because those who accused were more often than not trying to breach my defenses for less that pure purposes. 
Most of my life, it has been much easier to love than to accept love and I'm at a time in my life where that's not likely to change.


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## Shalimar (Feb 29, 2016)

I still find it easier to give love than to accept it. But I can accept it, just requires time for me to trust it.


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## SifuPhil (Feb 29, 2016)

I don't give or accept love - too messy.


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## rider1046 (Feb 29, 2016)

I accept all the love I can get from my grandchildren and great grandchildren. That's one place I'll risk it, and it's messy sometimes too


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