# My Ex got married. Why do I care?!?!?



## Cora (Aug 27, 2018)

I found out that my ex-husband remarried last month. We've been divorced for 15 years. I've been happily remarried for 6. 

For some reason this is really on my mind. I don't know why? He left me after 14 years of marriage. I rarely think of those years anymore. 

So why is it bothering me? I just don't understand why I care at all.


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## jujube (Aug 27, 2018)

It's human nature.  Human nature is harder to understand than the rest of nature put together......


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## hollydolly (Aug 27, 2018)

Perhaps in the back of your mind, as he hadn't re-married in all these years, you may have subconsciously thought he couldn't find anyone to match up to you.. just guessing...

..anyway Welcome to the forum!!


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## RadishRose (Aug 27, 2018)

Hi Cora,
Left over feelings. They will pass!

WELCOME!


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## Falcon (Aug 27, 2018)

Cora,  I don't think  it's exactly  "caring";  It's  more of  being interested  in what's going on  as  WE  all  would probably  be.

For  gosh sake,  Don't  let it eat at you.  Get on with your life  with friends  and  BE  HAPPY  !!!


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## Leonie (Aug 27, 2018)

I think it's pretty natural, to be honest.  You spent 14 years with this guy, you obviously loved him at one time.  We are who we are today due to all the years before. Those 14 years are a large part of who you are today.  

I never really understand people who can put their past (and people they once loved) behind them like it never happened.


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## Cora (Aug 27, 2018)

Thanks, all. All good comments. This too shall pass!


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## terry123 (Aug 27, 2018)

Welcome Cora!  I understand your feelings as the same thing happened to me.  We were married 17 years when it fell apart.


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## SeaBreeze (Aug 27, 2018)

Welcome Cora!  I'm glad you're happily married now for six years, that's great!  I think you may feel deep inside that he's still 'yours' even though you've been separated for such a long time.  It didn't bug you when he was on his own, but now someone else is in the picture kind of 'taking your place'.

Like the others have said, even though it's past history, the relationship is not completely erased from your memory, and shouldn't be.  I suggest you just look at it in a positive way, be happy for him and wish them well (in your mind), and enjoy the good life you have now with your husband.

  Honestly, now, you should start to think less of your Ex than ever before.  Cherish today, look toward the future and let the past be a distant memory.  It's a waste of your precious time in the now to dwell on the past.


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## Ronni (Aug 28, 2018)

As the others have said, I think this is human nature.  We tend to be more interested in the doings of people we know than people we don't.  

If this were someone else, a friend you used to be very close to perhaps, someone whose life you knew intimately because you were so close, and you found out they were getting married, wouldn't you be consumed with curiosity then too?  

I sure would be!!  I'd want to go stalk them on Facebook to see who their partner was, get some current info about their life, try and play catchup a bit.  I think it's normal.


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## Cora (Aug 28, 2018)

Lol, I don't think I want to know all that...I'm certain I would convince myself that I am inferior if I did. You're right, it's tempting to look, though!


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