# I am leaving forum



## Athos (Oct 22, 2015)

People come and go all the time.No big deal.
 I have noticed  too many personal  judgmental comments,
 unasked for unsolicited advice
 and far too many threads off on a tangent that has
little or nothing to do with the original post. Just like in real life.

Also some of you question the motives of the poster! Seems annoying.
I still enjoyed my time spent on the forum.
I am not referring to my own posts BTW

You may disagree, okay. I will not be reading responses.


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## imp (Oct 22, 2015)

If someone responds, then obviously, they seek to know others' responses. How do we know Op is NOT reading responses?   im p


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## QuickSilver (Oct 22, 2015)

Well... It's a free country... I for one have no idea who the OP is.... I guess his/her choice should be respected...


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## Manatee (Oct 22, 2015)

Hasta la vista.


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## hollydolly (Oct 23, 2015)

Well, I can't remember ever seeing you post but obviously you have, do take care it's a big Nasty forum world outside this door, so ...tread carefully


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## Laurie (Oct 23, 2015)

It's like a bar, and like any other bar, if you don't like the conversation, move  down the bar a bit.

As you yourself say, just like real life.


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## Ralphy1 (Oct 23, 2015)

Go in peace my child...


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## Ken N Tx (Oct 23, 2015)

Ralphy1 said:


> Go in peace my child...



.....


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## Steve (Oct 23, 2015)

Does anyone remember the song.......

"Got along without you before I met you, and I will get along without you now"


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## Shalimar (Oct 23, 2015)

I only recall Athos posting once or twice. One post he asked us for a personal definition of an Arab saying I believe. In another, the subject of which I have forgotten, he seemed upset when some posters disagreed with him. Sigh. Perhaps sf was not a good fit.


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## Ken N Tx (Oct 23, 2015)

Shalimar said:


> I only recall Athos posting once or twice. One post he asked us for a personal definition of an Arab saying I believe. In another, the subject of which I have forgotten, he seemed upset when some posters disagreed with him. Sigh. Perhaps sf was not a good fit.



He had 68 posts..Click on his name and you can read them..Nothing unusual or earth shattering..


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## Shalimar (Oct 23, 2015)

Thanks Ken.


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## Ralphy1 (Oct 23, 2015)

I could use a thanks once in awhile...


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## Shalimar (Oct 23, 2015)

Ok, thank YOU Ralphy. Lolol


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## ronaldj (Oct 23, 2015)

happy trails to you until we meet again.....but no one is reading this anyway.....


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## Ralphy1 (Oct 23, 2015)

Thanks, our mermaid, I feel better.  Now about those brownies...


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## Shalimar (Oct 23, 2015)

Ronald, lolololol.


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## GeorgiaXplant (Oct 23, 2015)

Why do people leaving a forum find it necessary to make an announcement along with a laundry list of everything that they perceive to be *wrong* with it? If they feel compelled to make the announcement that they're leaving, why not just say they're leaving because it's not a good fit...or simply delete their account? 

A list of stuff that a member takes issue with? In other words, all the rest of us are fools to *put up with* that member's assessment of our *failings*. And don't bother to reply because he's not going to read replies? I'll bet money that he has read them and will continue to read them.

Every forum isn't right for every person. I looked for a long time before finding this one where I feel comfortable and welcome. And yanno what? It's insulting for Athos or anybody else to question our good taste.

Here's your hat, Athos; there's the door. So there.


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## hollydolly (Oct 23, 2015)

Oh georgia....don't you go beating around the bush now, will you... :rofl1:


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## QuickSilver (Oct 23, 2015)

It's called a "Hair Flip"   

hairflip
When a member of an online community leaves a group or forum because they just can't take the heat - can be performed with or without a lame exit speech.


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## GeorgiaXplant (Oct 23, 2015)

Hollydolly, I know, I know. I should really just come right out and say what I mean. Being perfectly candid has always been a problem for me. LOL

QS, I had no idea there was a term for it. Hair flipping. Okay. Sort of like thumbing his nose at us. He is a he, right?


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## applecruncher (Oct 23, 2015)

Also called a "flounce" ("Well, I hope you people enjoy your little discussion" <slam dood>)

or a Richard Nixon "You people won't have ME to kick around anymore"

and a "GCF" (goodbye cruel forum)


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## Falcon (Oct 23, 2015)

He sounds like a spoiled child.   Boo Hoo   I'll fix you guys;  I'm gonna take my ball and go home.


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## Ameriscot (Oct 23, 2015)

Falcon said:


> He sounds like a spoiled child.   Boo Hoo   I'll fix you guys;  I'm gonna take my ball and go home.



Problem was, nobody really knew who he was!


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## applecruncher (Oct 23, 2015)

Must admit I like "flounce" and "hairflip"


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## Davey Jones (Oct 23, 2015)

Laurie said:


> It's like a bar, and like any other bar, if you don't like the conversation, move  down the bar a bit.
> 
> As you yourself say, just like real life.



sliding down Bar....Hi ,you come here often?


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## GeorgiaXplant (Oct 23, 2015)

I've been known to dance on a bar a time or two. That was back in my wild and crazy youth. After dancing on a bar I was too embarrassed to go back

Ameriscot, I didn't know who he was, either. Guess we must have frequented different threads, just like in real life. LOL


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## hollydolly (Oct 23, 2015)

OMG AC...I know that forum in the clip...it's a Scottish based footie forum..


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## Son_of_Perdition (Oct 23, 2015)

Belonging to a forum is akin to attending a neighborhood or family dinner party.  Small talk or playing 'Charades' usually dominate the night's interaction.  I always felt uncomfortable at such gatherings simply because I find it an unproductive use of my time.  That's just me.  So I began turning down invitations with lame excuses.  I was never one to meet friends at the local coffee shop or bar to have a drink either.  My wife and children accused me of being a snob.  I was more interested in the latest blockbuster movie, tech gadget or new approach to solving the problems we faced.  I'm not an avid fan of any sports team.  I don't like to take risky chances or want my children and grand children taking unnecessary chances either, a real worry wort.

That being said I have started several threads about things I find interesting to others or pertinent to my lifestyle, I never discuss religion or politics simply because as a small cog in the big world, I realize that I have no control over the events as they unfold.  You can admonish your politicians until you are blue in the face but nothing really changes.  2 books that were on best seller lists 20-30 years ago made me more aware of my place in the scheme of things.  The books titles were 'Don't Sweat the Small Stuff', and 'All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten'.  Both gave me my mantra for life from that point on.  The way this forum is set up makes anything you post or start a permanent record after 24 hours.  Facebook gives you the opportunity to remove something you post then realize that it's of interest only to you and after reflection it appears uninteresting to others.  Here, after you post it may just sit there and no one responds, requiring you the poster to determine the validity or importance of the thread.  

I've gone back and changed the title or deleted what I posted but you need something in the body of the thread.  I've asked the admins to delete my posts for one reason or another because I don't like having egg on my face or am embarrassed as I stand in group with dead silence.  It's interesting to me what generates responses and what doesn't.  Games seem to be the highlight of some members, again something that I choose not to participate in.  I was going to leave, 'Take my ball and go home' also but I find most of the threads informative or entertaining but never one for small talk I don't respond unless I think I have something that pertains to the thread.  I've refrained several times out of fear I might insult someone with a biting comment just for personal enjoyment.  Until the admin 'ban' me I'll stick around and do as my daughter said to me, 'Before you say something, say it three times silently to yourself and see if it hurts someone or makes sense to you'.


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## QuickSilver (Oct 23, 2015)

We have had a few hairflip flounces here....   lol!!


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## fishfulthinking (Oct 23, 2015)

I once read an interesting quote that went similar to this
"it is up to you to allow how much others bother you"


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## hollydolly (Oct 23, 2015)

fishfulthinking said:


> I once read an interesting quote that went similar to this
> "it is up to you to allow how much others bother you"




Good post Fishful


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## mitchezz (Oct 23, 2015)

GeorgiaXplant said:


> Why do people leaving a forum find it necessary to make an announcement along with a laundry list of everything that they perceive to be *wrong* with it? If they feel compelled to make the announcement that they're leaving, why not just say they're leaving because it's not a good fit...or simply delete their account?
> 
> A list of stuff that a member takes issue with? In other words, all the rest of us are fools to *put up with* that member's assessment of our *failings*. And don't bother to reply because he's not going to read replies? I'll bet money that he has read them and will continue to read them.
> 
> ...



As we Aussies say "Don't let the door hit your bum on the way out....it'll leave a bruise".


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## Grumpy Ol' Man (Oct 23, 2015)

I do find it sad when anyone feels like they cannot add to a conversation, meeting, or even an internet discussion board.  Yet, each of us is a unique personality... some more able to accept criticism than others.  Some enjoy a little "mud wrestling".  Others live in fear they will not be accepted by one group or another.  
If the OP feels he/she needs to move on, it's probably better that happen than see him/her wrest with angst about how the next post will be taken.  Life's too short.
I've existed in a career for over 40 years that can see daily negativity.  I've grown a quite thick skin.  Son-in-law says he doesn't understand how I can keep working "because no one likes you"!!!  My job is not to be liked, it's to deliver a quality product to an owner regardless of... in spite of...  the attitude/ability of those doing the work.  Hence, when someone on a discussion board disagrees with me I do not take it personally.  Others do.  If minor disagreements have a negative emotional impact, there are few on line discussion boards that will always be "warm and comfortable".
As far as Senior Forums... For a bunch of old-timers, you guys rock!!!!


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## NancyNGA (Oct 23, 2015)

But what I don't understand is the pages and pages of "piling on" that occurs every time someone leaves.  That doesn't seem like the behavior of an over 50 crowd.


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## applecruncher (Oct 23, 2015)

Nancy, do you mean when they _leave_ or when they post a farewell thread?


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## Son_of_Perdition (Oct 23, 2015)

NancyNGA said:


> But what I don't understand is the pages and pages of "piling on" that occurs every time someone leaves.  That doesn't seem like the behavior of an over 50 crowd.



I think it has something to do with the mob mentality of cyber bullying.


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## Shirley (Oct 23, 2015)

Third grade mentality.


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## boozercruiser (Oct 23, 2015)

Ameriscot said:


> Problem was, nobody really knew who he was!



What you say there has got me wondering Ameriscot.

Does anybody around here know who I am I ask myself ? 
	

	
	
		
		

		
			






However, unless I am banned (and I already feel like I am walking  on thin ice)
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 then I am staying. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	





Good luck to Athos though, as it really is a shame when a person feels the need to do a post like that.


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## Laurie (Oct 23, 2015)

"Why do people leaving a forum find it necessary to make an announcement along with a laundry list of everything that they perceive to be *wrong* "

I have left a few in the past, invariably because of failures on the part of the mod(s), not  the hastiness of the members .

I also invariably say cheerio to the friends I have made and tell them why I'm dropping out of sight


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## Warrigal (Oct 23, 2015)

Grumpy Ol' Man said:


> Hence, when someone on a discussion board disagrees with me I do not take it personally.  Others do.  If minor disagreements have a negative emotional impact, there are few on line discussion boards that will always be "warm and comfortable".
> As far as Senior Forums... For a bunch of old-timers, you guys rock!!!!



I have to agree with Grumpy here. I don't take disagreement as a personal attack. How could I since my reason for being on a forum is that I like to argue. In starting an argument I do try to remember that behind every avatar is a real person with real feelings and I try to be respectful of this fact. Sometimes I forget and get a bit carried away. When that happens it is appropriate to apologise, just as we would do in a face to face conversation.

There are some people who are uncomfortable with people arguing something out and who think that a fight is breaking out. These people would be better advised to stick to the bland topics until they are more confident to enter the scrum.

I would endorse Grumpy when he says you guys rock. You make my day, every day.


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## applecruncher (Oct 23, 2015)

Debate is one thing. Arguing is another. I’m pretty good at detecting when someone just wants to bicker back and forth - online and IRL. 

I'm not afraid of an argument, but senseless arguing is a waste of time…whether it be reading ir engaging in it. I’m protective of my time. Arguing just for the sake of arguing is foolish, imo.


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## Warrigal (Oct 23, 2015)

AC, this is the sense that I was using the word 'argue'

argue ˈɑːɡjuː/ _verb
_
verb: *argue*; 3rd person present: *argues*; past tense: *argued*; past participle: *argued*; gerund or present participle: *arguing
*
*1*. give reasons or cite evidence in support of an idea, action, or theory, typically with the aim of persuading others to share one's view.
"sociologists argue that inequalities in industrial societies are being reduced"

The other sense I am not so keen on although it doesn't distress me too much. If things get too heated I just leave the room.

*2*. 
exchange or express diverging or opposite views, typically in a heated or angry way.
"the two men started arguing in a local pub"


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## applecruncher (Oct 23, 2015)

Warri, yes, I think _maybe _we interpret the term differently. Admittedly, I usually (....usually, not always) attach a negative connotation to the term "argue".

FWIW, IRL when an argument reaches the ridiculous point, a certain stare (with or without raised eyebrow) is effective.

But I have a detestation of people going on and on, beating a subject to death pointlessly, just to hear themselves talk or see their words on a screen.


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## Ameriscot (Oct 23, 2015)

boozercruiser said:


> What you say there has got me wondering Ameriscot.
> 
> Does anybody around here know who I am I ask myself ?
> 
> ...




Not to worry.  We know who you are.  :grin:


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## Shalimar (Oct 23, 2015)

Boozer, we know who you are! Be very afraid....the Thread Nazis are watching you. Bwahahahahahaha!!


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## boozercruiser (Oct 23, 2015)

Shalimar said:


> Boozer, we know who you are! Be very afraid....the Thread Nazis are watching you. Bwahahahahahaha!!



I know, I know Shalimar.
Now you know why I am a nervous wreck every time I sign in! 
I feel like I am on an island and the sharks are encircling.
One day they will get me!


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## Shalimar (Oct 23, 2015)

Lolololololol.


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## Warrigal (Oct 23, 2015)

^^^ Wot Shali sed


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## Shalimar (Oct 23, 2015)

Oy!


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## GeorgiaXplant (Oct 23, 2015)

NancyNGA said:


> But what I don't understand is the pages and pages of "piling on" that occurs every time someone leaves.  That doesn't seem like the behavior of an over 50 crowd.



My point was that there's no need to announce one's departure and then list all their "reasons" why we're not fit company. If they choose to leave, fine. Stating all their beefs with us in a version of an exit interview? Not fine. It's like they're giving us a performance improvement plan so that we'll all fit into their version of a forum where they'd want to remain active members.


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## Warrigal (Oct 23, 2015)

I'm off to visit hubby again in the hospital.
Everyone do try to behave while I'm away. :grin:


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## Shalimar (Oct 23, 2015)

Yes mummy! Lolololol.


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## Warrigal (Oct 23, 2015)

Good girl. :joyous:


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## Shalimar (Oct 23, 2015)

Not a good girl. Noooooo! Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere! Boom.layful:


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## Ameriscot (Oct 23, 2015)

Okay mummy.  I'll be good.


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## Shalimar (Oct 23, 2015)

Annie, I am disappointed in you! Lol.


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## boozercruiser (Oct 23, 2015)

Shalimar said:


> Not a good girl. Noooooo! Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere! Boom.layful:



*'bad girls go everywhere! Boom'

*I live here Shali http://www.postcodearea.co.uk/postaltowns/llandudno/ll284bn/

How soon can you make it over here from Canada? 
	

	
	
		
		

		
			






PS To try and keep on topic, here is a little wave from Athos which says...
I am outa here.
Goodbye!


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## imp (Oct 23, 2015)

By golly, I'd bet my bottom dollar that if *I *took a stance like Athos, I'd get rode out of town on a rail, one end protruding!   Eh?   nthego:

imp


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## boozercruiser (Oct 23, 2015)

imp said:


> By golly, I'd bet my bottom dollar that if *I *took a stance like Athos, I'd get rode out of town on a rail, one end protruding!   Eh?   nthego:
> 
> imp




Oh! NO.
Not another member suffering from Paranoia!  
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




Join the Club!


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## imp (Oct 23, 2015)

I actually fear few things, in reality, but Mike Huckabee, well,...........

imp


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## Linda (Oct 23, 2015)

boozercruiser said:


> What you say there has got me wondering Ameriscot.
> 
> Does anybody around here know who I am I ask myself ?
> 
> ...


 
Sorry Sir, I don't think any of us here know who Boozercruiser is.  layful:
Here is the difference, you Boozercruiser have been on SF a bit over a month and you have posted over 635 times.  Athos was here almost a year and a half and posted 68 times.  So it sort of makes me wonder (and I might be wrong) if he was just reading and judging us.  If he read enough to know how bad we were, couldn't he ever find something to comment on?  Not to mention he was slamming those who get off on tangents, which is my middle name.  Since that seems to bother so many people I will try to cut down on that.  I have only posted 3 or 4 times today and already I've deleted a lot of what I was saying and trying to stay on topic.  Which to me seems sort of boring but I can live with it..........most of the time.


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## Pookie (Oct 23, 2015)

I don't understand. I found this place while on vacation and fell in love with it. I've spent hours here, reading and doing everything from making jokes to reaching out to a veteran. Most all of you know me pretty well now, and I'm very grateful.

I don't mind unsolicited advice. I could be doing something completely wrong and not know it, and correction and constructive criticism is always welcome to me. If you see me post something and you think, "Uh-oh, Pookie, you are all wrong about that and here's why..." Say it please! Don't let me fall down! I rely on your experiences and life's lessons don't you see?

And we all have strong opinions on some things. As seniors, sometimes our opinions fall on deaf ears to younger folks. Go ahead and voice your opinions. I may not respond but that doesn't mean I'm discarding your opinions. Read and noted. We're never too old to learn, and we're never too old to understand another's point of view, even though we may disagree. But if all of agreed with each other all the time...good grief, I'd be looking around for sharp objects and going to radical crazy cat lady sites.

Not that I've founded 17 of those, but that's before I found you all here.

Seriously, though...I have even misidentified a racist post here because I'm not easily offended at all. But this taught me to be more sensitive to others' feelings, and I'm very thankful for the lesson. I was very rightly corrected, and it made me a better poster. 

I don't have to be embroiled in a topic in which I'm uncomfortable. I leave it alone, and move on. Out of all the topics here I could respond to, there isn't enough time to get to them. There's so much here to enjoy, to learn from, to offer kindness, to give advice (when asked), and of course the humor that pervades this forum is fantastic.

I'm sorry this member felt a need to leave. I wish this member could take a broader look at what this site has to offer, and reconsider. There isn't a better one; believe me, I looked. As far as I am concerned, I'm very happy with everything here, and I'm so glad I found you all. If someone were to ask me, "How can this site be improved?" my answer would be total silence, because how does one improve on something that is really, truly, this good?

Well, anyhoo, that's my take on this. I hate seeing this member leave. I can't help but feel that he didn't give us a fair shake, but that's just my opinion. I hope he looks around, comes back and says, "I'm back," and I'd welcome him back warmly.

Then I would threaten to send him some cat poop in a PM if he ever thought about leaving again. Just kidding!

Anyway...I'm sorry he left us.


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## Warrigal (Oct 23, 2015)

Great post Pookie. I've been here a while now but when I came it was with some trepidation because I was part of an Australian invasion at the time. A bunch of us all joined at the same time because the Aussie one we had been enjoying closed down. I was on my best behaviour for some time because I felt like a guest, not a member but I've been here long enough now and contributed often enough to some threads to feel at home and be myself.

I find this forum very stimulating but the different time zone is a problem. When I wake up it is already late in the day in the US. In my evenings Americans are mostly all sleeping. There are a few noticeable exceptions but usually things are very quiet before I go to bed. This is when I google US (or Canadian) news and look for interesting items to start a thread. This explains what some think is my fixation on US crime etc. I have found that a thread on Australian crime is not universally interesting unless it is exceptionally quirky. 

I do plan to start a thread about a particularly tragic case of two bodies found five years and 1000 km apart. It is an interesting story that still has a lot of mystery attached to it. I'll be interested to see whether members can relate to it enough to post.


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## applecruncher (Oct 23, 2015)

I just checked. Sydney is 14 hrs ahead of eastern US time zone. I didn't realize.


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## Warrigal (Oct 23, 2015)

Don't worry AC, Australia trails the US in a lot of other areas.


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## applecruncher (Oct 23, 2015)

Ooohhh, that's debatable.  Or arguable. 
fftobed:


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## Pookie (Oct 23, 2015)

Warrigal said:


> Great post Pookie. I've been here a while now but when I came it was with some trepidation because I was part of an Australian invasion at the time. A bunch of us all joined at the same time because the Aussie one we had been enjoying closed down. I was on my best behaviour for some time because I felt like a guest, not a member but I've been here long enough now and contributed often enough to some threads to feel at home and be myself.
> 
> I find this forum very stimulating but the different time zone is a problem. When I wake up it is already late in the day in the US. In my evenings Americans are mostly all sleeping. There are a few noticeable exceptions but usually things are very quiet before I go to bed. This is when I google US (or Canadian) news and look for interesting items to start a thread. This explains what some think is my fixation on US crime etc. I have found that a thread on Australian crime is not universally interesting unless it is exceptionally quirky.
> 
> I do plan to start a thread about a particularly tragic case of two bodies found five years and 1000 km apart. It is an interesting story that still has a lot of mystery attached to it. I'll be interested to see whether members can relate to it enough to post.



Thank you. Warrigal, I appreciate you very much.

I LOVE the fact that we have posters from all over...this great invention of the Internet knows no boundaries, and brings us all together. You and others have made me feel as if we live next door. That's the whole beauty of this forum as well. It brings us together...and that's simply precious to me.

I love seeing others' perceptions, no matter which shores they see. And yes, time zones are a problem, especially if someone is really in need and needs a quick answer. That bothers me, but sooner or later, there will be answers. 

Also, when you post things about Australia, we learn. See? I see this whole forum and all its members as a wonderful, caring learning process and kind fellowship. It doesn't matter where you are, you're appreciated and your input is very valuable to all of us, I believe. At least it is to me. What happens in any corner of the world always matters to me, no matter what.

And I also thank you for being here. I enjoy your posts, and I look forward to them. You keep on keeping on, as we say here, okay?

Maybe the poster who left will see both our words, Warrigal, and the others' words, and come back. He may understand he's missing something, and I'd love for him to regain all he was missing.

You're so kind, and I appreciate you.


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## Pookie (Oct 23, 2015)

applecruncher said:


> Ooohhh, that's debatable.  Or arguable.
> fftobed:



Very debatable, but Warrigal rocks!


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## imp (Oct 23, 2015)

Pook, Customer Service at W-M is likely the most demanding, least-understood by top management, most-disliked personnel by the shopper, yet inadequately compensated-for
job in the whole store. This, after viewing your Profile. 

How do you maintain your "cool" there? Are you "at-ease" with it for the most part? Do you not go home talking to yourself about the day's experiences? Sorry if off topic, off thread, off my rocker, just HAD to ask..,........,.,,...imp


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## Pookie (Oct 23, 2015)

I tell you what, honey. I'm going to copy your question here and put it in a new thread, so we don't derail this thread, and I'll explain it. Okay?


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## Linda (Oct 23, 2015)

Pookie said:


> I tell you what, honey. I'm going to copy your question here and put it in a new thread, so we don't derail this thread, and I'll explain it. Okay?


 I want to hear too Pookie!   Good question imp.


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## Pookie (Oct 24, 2015)

Let's take it here and keep this thread on topic, okay?

Thanks!

https://www.seniorforums.com/showth...About-Working-At-Walmart-Maintaining-Cool-Etc


And I still hope he will come back. I hope he does, and maybe he'll realize there's sooooooooo much here. Paws crossed!


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## Ameriscot (Oct 24, 2015)

Shalimar said:


> Annie, I am disappointed in you! Lol.



Oh sorry! Forgive me! I didn't mean it. I promise not to be good.


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## chic (Oct 24, 2015)

I will miss you Athos. Though you didn't post much, I enjoyed seeing your user name - Athos. My favorite musketeer. It gave me a feeling of commraderie.


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## Bee (Oct 24, 2015)

Pookie said:


> Let's take it here and keep this thread on topic, okay?
> 
> Thanks!
> 
> ...



Seeing as Athos has been a member for approx. 17 months he knows what's here and that is what probably helped to make his decision to leave.

Good luck to you Athos and if you are reading just ignore the negative comments.


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## boozercruiser (Oct 24, 2015)

Linda said:


> Sorry Sir, I don't think any of us here know who Boozercruiser is.  layful:
> Here is the difference, you Boozercruiser have been on SF a bit over a month and you have posted over 635 times.  Athos was here almost a year and a half and posted 68 times.  So it sort of makes me wonder (and I might be wrong) if he was just reading and judging us.  If he read enough to know how bad we were, couldn't he ever find something to comment on?  Not to mention he was slamming those who get off on tangents, which is my middle name.  Since that seems to bother so many people I will try to cut down on that.  I have only posted 3 or 4 times today and already I've deleted a lot of what I was saying and trying to stay on topic.  Which to me seems sort of boring but I can live with it..........most of the time.



Thank you for your very kind words and observations Linda, and I pretty much agree with everything you say there.
Particularly the below, because it happens to me as well...
*
I've deleted a lot of what I was saying and trying to stay on topic. Which to me seems sort of boring but I can live with it..........most of the time. *

Being the sort of bloke I am (From Liverpool) I do have a rather wicked and naughty sense of humour. 
I have already been more or less told off about it by Admin.
So Sometimes I feel that I am walking on eggshells around here.
I mean, no matter what, someone, somewhere is not going to be happy or take offence at something. 
Anything even, as it will make their day.

Some jobsworth will always try to  tell you if you are a bit 'off topic'.

Me? Live and let live I will say to that.
Oh! And please get a life!

Now then.
I wonder who I have upset now?! 
	

	
	
		
		

		
			




Sorry whoever. I didn't mean it.
Honest I didn't! layful:


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## Pookie (Oct 24, 2015)

I do hope he comes back. Maybe he'll give us a second chance, and see how wonderful this place really is. I'm back at work and I may miss stuff, but I'll look for him and welcome him if he comes back. 

It could be he has family issues or work problems or something that is in his life that also upset him. It is so hard to tell; after all, all of us are on keyboards in front of monitors and we aren't face-to-face. We can't see faces and we can't hear voices here; it's sometimes difficult to express feelings and make them come through right on a keyboard. 

Things can be taken wrongly and it's a precarious balance between words and meanings on a keyboard. We just never know.


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## Laurie (Oct 24, 2015)

" we know who you are! "

One of the reasons, mentioned earlier, why I left a forum.

The moderator, who objected to my posting to another forum, abused his personal records and published my real name.


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## boozercruiser (Oct 24, 2015)

Pookie said:


> I do hope he comes back. Maybe he'll give us a second chance, and see how wonderful this place really is. I'm back at work and I may miss stuff, but I'll look for him and welcome him if he comes back.
> 
> It could be he has family issues or work problems or something that is in his life that also upset him. It is so hard to tell; after all, all of us are on keyboards in front of monitors and we aren't face-to-face. We can't see faces and we can't hear voices here; it's sometimes difficult to express feelings and make them come through right on a keyboard.
> 
> Things can be taken wrongly and it's a precarious balance between words and meanings on a keyboard. We just never know.



Well said Pookie.
Well said.
Where you ever a Councillor by any chance?


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## Pookie (Oct 24, 2015)

Laurie said:


> " we know who you are! "
> 
> One of the reasons, mentioned earlier, why I left a forum.
> 
> The moderator, who objected to my posting to another forum, abused his personal records and published my real name.



That will never happen here. None of us know your real name and to be honest, we really don't care about your real name. We all like you for who you are. We appreciate you being here. Think about this: Do you really think my real name is Pookie?

Do you care? Of course not! You're safe here, just as I am. 

Other forums can be nasty, but this one is precious. Relax and enjoy; no one will harm us here. No worries, honey. Be yourself and enjoy us. I do!


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## Pookie (Oct 24, 2015)

boozercruiser said:


> Well said Pookie.
> Well said.
> Where you ever a Councillor by any chance?



No sir, but I was a company commander over 378 men at one time. Sometimes things have to be looked at in a realistic way and I believe there are always variables in the way communications go back and forth. There are so many miscommunications which occur face-to-face; therefore there are many more possibilities of miscommunications here when we are all behind keyboards and monitors.

I found sitting down with my people and having an open conversation with them (meaning I shut the heck up) and letting them talk face-to-face and letting them deal with issues was most effective. Those guys worked it out and to be very honest, they made me proud....but THEY took everything to the company and made our company awesome, just by communicating their feelings, their differences, and their goals and their plans to make our company a cohesive unit that worked, and worked very well.

We don't have that luxury. As I indicated, we're behind keyboards and monitors. It's even hard for me to break through this barrier and try to speak of how I see things here. 

But I think as I try harder to recognize I am behind such, I am realizing how much in one way I am limited but in another way, I can make my feelings known and my voice heard here.

I think we should leave the door open for Athos. And maybe we should keep an eye on all new members. Let's pay special attention to them; they may be going through issues and problems. And we should also keep an eye on each other; like buddies, we are here and there should be no burden too heavy to carry. I believe this forum is all about support and strength and help....and we all know we joined here because of that. 

And I have all of you tight on, and thank you all for being here. Here's a song for all of you....


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## boozercruiser (Oct 24, 2015)

Pookie said:


> No sir, but I was a company commander over 378 men at one time. Sometimes things have to be looked at in a realistic way and I believe there are always variables in the way communications go back and forth. There are so many miscommunications which occur face-to-face; therefore there are many more possibilities of miscommunications here when we are all behind keyboards and monitors.
> 
> I found sitting down with my people and having an open conversation with them (meaning I shut the heck up) and letting them talk face-to-face and letting them deal with issues was most effective. Those guys worked it out and to be very honest, they made me proud....but THEY took everything to the company and made our company awesome, just by communicating their feelings, their differences, and their goals and their plans to make our company a cohesive unit that worked, and worked very well.
> 
> ...



WOW Pookie, I am filling up here.
That was some very interesting and thought provoking post you made there.
I can only agree with all you have to say, particularly in respect of bold as above.
I reckon you should be made a Mod so you can enact your way of thinking into the running of the forum.
No disrespect meant to SeaBreeze or Matrix of course.


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## Bee (Oct 24, 2015)

Bee said:


> Seeing as Athos has been a member for approx. 17 months he knows what's here and that is what probably helped to make his decision to leave.
> 
> Good luck to you Athos and if you are reading just ignore the negative comments.



Perhaps no one read this or just ignored it, but I repeat, Athos has been a member for approx _*17 months,*_ he knows what's here and that is what probably helped to make his decision to leave.

Not all forums suit all people.


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## boozercruiser (Oct 24, 2015)

Bee said:


> Perhaps no one read this or just ignored it, but I repeat, Athos has been a member for approx _*17 months,*_ he knows what's here and that is what probably helped to make his decision to leave.
> 
> Not all forums suit all people.



I read it Bee, I didn't ignore it, but one can't reply to everyone.
But like you say.
Not all forums suit all people.
Me?
I am still making up my mind! layful:


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## Linda (Oct 24, 2015)

Bee said:


> Perhaps no one read this or just ignored it, but I repeat, Athos has been a member for approx _*17 months,*_ he knows what's here and that is what probably helped to make his decision to leave.
> 
> Not all forums suit all people.


 I agree with you Bee, I just didn't comment on what you said.  If someone decides they don't want my company I'm not going to ask them to stay.  Like if my husband wanted to leave me, I'd help him pack his bags.  I have nothing against Athos and I only went back and read 3 or 4 of his posts due to lack of time, but if he doesn't want my company I'm not going to ask him to stay.  And I just say "my" because I don't want to speak for others here.  If he decides to come back, I'll be glad to see him.


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## Laurie (Oct 24, 2015)

Pookie said:


> That will never happen here. None of us know your real name and to be honest, we really don't care about your real name. We all like you for who you are. We appreciate you being here. Think about this: Do you really think my real name is Pookie?
> 
> Do you care? Of course not! You're safe here, just as I am.
> 
> Other forums can be nasty, but this one is precious. Relax and enjoy; no one will harm us here. No worries, honey. Be yourself and enjoy us. I do!



Funnily enough, in this case, my real name  is actually Laurie!

I'm not paranoid about using  it, I just think the choice should be mine!


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## Pookie (Oct 24, 2015)

I saw your post too, hon, but I got pooped out LOL! Wow...17 months and he still wanted to leave? Poor thing, he probably had issues going on and sometimes seeing jokes and lighthearted stuff can hurt.

I like the name Laurie. One of the greatest people in my life is named Laurie, and I smile when I see your name.

Me a mod? ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SeaBreeze will go on major antidepressents, Matrix will just give up and check into a "clinic," the place will be overrun with cats, dog owners would be banned instantly....no, wait, scratch that, I have a dog...uhh, you'll all have to kneel and worship the Golden Hippo before logging in, I will take all the credit for your funny jokes and brilliant posts, I'll run criminal background checks on all present and future members, and everyone will have to be completely dressed before posting.

Hey, I might make a good candidate for POTUS! Gaaaaaahhhhh. LOL.

I really enjoy all of you, so if I could, I wish you'd do me a favor. If something upsets you so much as to make you want to leave, talk to SeaBreeze first. I know I'm volunteering her, but let me explain why. When I first joined here, I felt like I was walking on eggshells with cleats on. I was leery about how to approach some things here, so I PM'ed her. I can't say anything about the content of those, but I can say she made me feel immediately more relaxed, and she very gently steered me in the direction I needed to go. Or you can talk to me, but I'll just yell at you and make you go back to posting. Either way...

Seriously, though, talk to someone before you decide to leave. People will miss you. Problems can always be at least talked about, and possibly solved. Say if I hurt someone here and didn't know it, how can I fix it if I don't know? There's nothing wrong with sending me a PM and saying, "Hey Pookie, this hurt...." and explain it. Don't let problems fester and build up. Nip it in the bud right then and there, and spare both of us a real mess later. Communication is vital to keep this a happy place.

Make sense?


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## Ken N Tx (Oct 25, 2015)

2 Months from now I hope we don't see "where is Althos, he has not posted in a long time?"


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## hollydolly (Oct 25, 2015)

Laurie said:


> " we know who you are! "
> 
> One of the reasons, mentioned earlier, why I left a forum.
> 
> *The moderator, who objected to my posting to another forum, abused his personal records and published my real name.*



Oh dear now, that really was an abuse of power...was it the moderator,  or the owner of the forum?..usually a moderator doesn't have access to your full name laurie, unless of course you've told them privately in a message ..


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## Laurie (Oct 25, 2015)

hollydolly said:


> Oh dear now, that really was an abuse of power...was it the moderator,  or the owner of the forum?..usually a moderator doesn't have access to your full name laurie, unless of course you've told them privately in a message ..



Yes, sorry.  I should have made that more clear, it was the owner, who, of course, had all the registration records.

" I smile when I see your name."

What a lovely compliment to that person.

I remember saying to a bereaved family that I smiled when I read of their loved one's death,  for that was the sort of person he was, you couldn't think of him without a smile of pleasure.


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## hollydolly (Oct 25, 2015)

Ah yes I suspected that was the case  Laurie... absolutely unacceptable of course, and I've never heard of Admin doing that on any forum, but there's always a rotten apple somewhere, and anyone can set up a forum of course..but it takes a decent fair one along with the help of equally fair mods  to keep a forum running smoothly for a long time.


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## boozercruiser (Oct 25, 2015)

Ken N Tx said:


> 2 Months from now I hope we don't see "where is Althos, he has not posted in a long time?"



Why not Ken?
I mean if someone somewhere on this forum is either missing Athos or are still concerned about him/her and fancy to post about it, so what?
In any case, I have found this thread very interesting indeed, particularly Pookies input, and it has provided lots of food for thought on why some people say 'Thats it, I am leaving'. And we don't want that now, do we?
It is only a little bitty thread, and someone doesn't have to click on it to read it now. Do they?
Best regards

Kenny

PS The next time I sneeze I am going to try and keep my eyes open!


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## boozercruiser (Oct 25, 2015)

Pookie said:


> I saw your post too, hon, but I got pooped out LOL! Wow...17 months and he still wanted to leave? Poor thing, he probably had issues going on and sometimes seeing jokes and lighthearted stuff can hurt.
> 
> I like the name Laurie. One of the greatest people in my life is named Laurie, and I smile when I see your name.
> 
> ...


YES Pookie, everything you say there makes sense, and thank you for taking the time to do that post.
Particularly what you say highlighted there really made me think. 
All VERY good advice.


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