# What's Santa bringing the OLD FART's this year?



## Moss (Dec 13, 2013)

What you lot hoping to get for Christmas?     Well, this old fart, has asked for some new Pukka Cycling Gloves - a new pair of Grip-Grab cycling overshoes; and a new front light for the bike!    I live in hope.

Bought all gifts for others; Wife - Daughter - Son-in-law.     Got something for the Neighbors; and a bottle for the post-man.    Need to get something for the church; they normally collect gifts for the homeless; and families who may struggle to make ends meet at this time of year.

Anyhow,  would be interesting to find out what you want?  or asked Santa for this coming Christmas?

Seasons Greetings to Everyone - HAPPY CHRISTMAS


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## Diwundrin (Dec 13, 2013)

A Beamer!  I've had that as a standing order with Santa for 40 years but he must be still saving up for it.


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## Jackie22 (Dec 13, 2013)

.....the new Nexus 7


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## dbeyat45 (Dec 13, 2013)

I need a new hernia belt .....


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## Pappy (Dec 13, 2013)

A small prostate. Sorry ladies. :wink:


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## SifuPhil (Dec 13, 2013)

All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth.

... and a new left kidney, and toenails and ear-hairs that don't grow, and 10 pounds less around the belly, and 24" biceps, and ...


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## dbeyat45 (Dec 13, 2013)

Pappy said:


> A small prostate. Sorry ladies. :wink:



I have one courtesy of three months of radiotherapy.  
It's yours, Pappy, for the cost of the three gold "seeds" it contains .... it's no use to me anymore.  
:wink:


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## SifuPhil (Dec 13, 2013)

dbeyat45 said:


> I have one courtesy of three months of radiotherapy.
> It's yours, Pappy, for the cost of the three gold "seeds" it contains .... it's no use to me anymore.



You should put it up on eBay - getting the photo might be a bit of a poser, though ...


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## Diwundrin (Dec 13, 2013)

SifuPhil said:


> You should put it up on eBay - getting the photo might be a bit of a poser, though ...



That's finished it for me, I'm outa here.  :lofl:


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## Jillaroo (Dec 13, 2013)

_I don't want much , just a new body_


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## dbeyat45 (Dec 13, 2013)

SifuPhil said:


> You should put it up on eBay - getting the photo might be a bit of a poser, though ...



I have a photo Phil ... what is eBay?


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## Moss (Dec 13, 2013)

Diwundrin said:


> A Beamer!  I've had that as a standing order with Santa for 40 years but he must be still saving up for it.



I've heard he's not a wealthy man?


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## Moss (Dec 13, 2013)

jackie22 said:


> .....the new nexus 7



nice.


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## Moss (Dec 13, 2013)

Seems this thread has turned in-to a GP's Surgery?   Afraid Santa cannot help you guys; he creates magic; not miracles.


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## That Guy (Dec 13, 2013)

Nothin'.  Made the naughty list . . . again...


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## SifuPhil (Dec 13, 2013)

dbeyat45 said:


> I have a photo Phil ... what is eBay?



It's this place where ... well, just send me the photo and I'll work it up for you. 25% commission sound okay?

Here's a quick work-up for you ...


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## Jillaroo (Dec 13, 2013)

:eeew::magnify::lofl:


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## Pappy (Dec 13, 2013)

SifuPhil said:


> It's this place where ... well, just send me the photo and I'll work it up for you. 25% commission sound okay?
> 
> Here's a quick work-up for you ...
> 
> View attachment 3853



Gold inserts? What the......
However, I do enjoy the finger exams. No wait, this isn't the lie section is it?


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## SifuPhil (Dec 13, 2013)

Pappy said:


> Gold inserts? What the......



Well, I figured we could get a better price if I added some bling ...


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## terra (Dec 13, 2013)

Meanwhile.... back at the,  "what do ya want for Christmas" topic. 

Bah, Humbug I say !.... it's all geared for the shops to make money !  They don't care about the true meaning of Christmas, they just want your money.







For me, it's Peace on Earth & Goodwill to all !     



....... and a wee tot of whiskey !


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## drifter (Dec 13, 2013)

I have a short list of things I wanted but have been notified Christmas has been put on hold this year. No gifts, no Christmas Tree, no decorations, nada. We don't send cards, therefore we get none. Well we did get one, from a nephew and niece in law, but they didn't remember our name and put someone else name. The card shows a large house with nephew and his two kids standing in front, all have guns pointing at us. The caption is: We've got you covered this Christmas. Well, They say it is the thought that counts.


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## terra (Dec 13, 2013)

I agree Drifter.  I'm beginning to question why I send Christmas cards at all.... most of them go to people or distant relatives that we never speak to, never phone or write to each other, and now I'm wondering... do they really care at all ?

What gets me is the all to familiar comment on the card... "we'll have to catch up soon".

Yeah right !.... and pigs will fly !



hmm ! ....... yep !... I reckon I'm becoming bitter, twisted & cynical !


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## Diwundrin (Dec 13, 2013)

> hmm ! ....... yep !... I reckon I'm becoming bitter, twisted & cynical !



Well it's about bloody time Tezza!  I thought I was wasting my time leading you astray all these years.







> ....with nephew and his two kids standing in front, all have guns pointing  at us. The caption is: We've got you covered this Christmas....


 
Drifter, any way you could forward a copy of that card to Warrigal?  I would sooo love to send her one like that

 ... but she'd probably only laugh.


I've finally drawn a line through the Xmas mailing list this year.  Only a few people left alive to send one to and all but 2 are in contact via email anyway.  One of those others was a workmate and we essentially spent our latter years playing political oneupmanship office games and I have no idea why she sends me cards and even less idea why I returned them.  Time to let her think she's outlived me I think.

 The last one was also a former workmate/friend/travel companion whom I've neither seen nor even spoken with since 1971 ! 
We have though tracked each other's lives through Xmas cards every year since.  Hers in a few short sentences, mine of course more wordy, but it's a kind of tradition now that I may choose not to break.  Maybe I will stretch to that one card this year after all, just to keep it going. 
  .


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## Jillaroo (Dec 13, 2013)

_Terra you aren't it is just that we remember how nice it used to be at christmas, no greedy shops all the kids were happy with $2 toys and we all enjoyed having the family for dinner, there wasn't the pressure to spend loads of dollars on gifts like there is today, i bet if you gave your child a cheap toy he would say WTF. My daughter has stopped giving gifts to all and sundry as it has got so expensive and if you give a cheap one you are the worst in the world._


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## GDAD (Dec 13, 2013)

A new shopping buggy.


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## Jillaroo (Dec 13, 2013)

_That's a big ask GDad_:lofl:


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## Moss (Dec 14, 2013)

That Guy said:


> Nothin'.  Made the naughty list . . . again...



Ain't miss-behavin savin all the love for you;   he's checkin it twice;  full of forgiveness so you'd better be nice.


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## Diwundrin (Dec 14, 2013)

GDAD said:


> View attachment 3856
> 
> A new shopping buggy.



Now that is one fine piece of Xmas wishing GDAD, well done!  

 



Hope you have more luck than I've had with the Beamer... waaaahhhh.


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## GDAD (Dec 14, 2013)

​Just for you DI.


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## Old Hipster (Dec 14, 2013)

drifter said:


> I have a short list of things I wanted but have been notified Christmas has been put on hold this year. No gifts, no Christmas Tree, no decorations, nada. We don't send cards, therefore we get none. Well we did get one, from a nephew and niece in law, but they didn't remember our name and put someone else name. The card shows a large house with nephew and his two kids standing in front, all have guns pointing at us. The caption is: We've got you covered this Christmas. Well, They say it is the thought that counts.


Sounds like our house, although we have a little fake flocked tree up, for a bit of cheer, that was the mister's doing, in that regard he is more sentimental than me. I just didn't feel like dragging out all the Christmas crappola out this year.


Here is a lovely little family tableau, maybe they know your nephew!


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## Ozarkgal (Dec 14, 2013)

Well, I'm in with Drifter and OH..I have a little fiber optic tree that we usually put out.  I love the changing color lights on it, so that will probably be my sum acknowledgment of Christmas.  I have boxes of decorations stacked in the shed that need to be donated as I doubt I'll ever drag them out anymore.


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## dbeyat45 (Dec 14, 2013)

Pappy said:


> Gold inserts? What the......
> However, I do enjoy the finger exams. No wait, this isn't the lie section is it?



Pappy, the gold seeds help aim the radiotherapy beams at the prostate ... three means pinpoint accuracy.  Coupled with three tattoo points on hips and lower abdomen, they mean greater accuracy when you get in this thinggy:


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## Davey Jones (Dec 14, 2013)

Moss said:


> Seems this thread has turned in-to a GP's Surgery? Afraid Santa cannot help you guys; he creates magic; not miracles.



CRIPES,I always thought Santa was Jesus,Now Im all mixed up.


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## SifuPhil (Dec 14, 2013)

Davey Jones said:


> CRIPES,I always thought Santa was Jesus,Now Im all mixed up.



No, no - how many times must I go _over_ this?!?

The _Easter Bunny_ is Jesus.

Santa is _Satan_. It's easy to remember - same letters.


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