# Living alone, single or not, is not happening anymore for me.



## fancicoffee13 (Jul 17, 2019)

I and a gentleman are enjoying going places, doing things for each other, and just not being lonely anymore.  It is a benefit, sharing with each other, and a sigh of relief sort of.  Just knowing you are not alone and being able to get together and be there for each other is a relief and enjoyable.  He knows things I don't and helps me, and I can help him in ways I want to and it is great.


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## StarSong (Jul 17, 2019)

fancicoffee13 said:


> I and a gentleman are enjoying going places, doing things for each other, and just not being lonely anymore.  It is a benefit, sharing with each other, and a sigh of relief sort of.  Just knowing you are not alone and being able to get together and be there for each other is a relief and enjoyable.  He knows things I don't and helps me, and I can help him in ways I want to and it is great.



Sounds like a terrific arrangement, FC.  Glad you've found someone to spend some time with.


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## Rosemarie (Jul 17, 2019)

fancicoffee13 said:


> I and a gentleman are enjoying going places, doing things for each other, and just not being lonely anymore.  It is a benefit, sharing with each other, and a sigh of relief sort of.  Just knowing you are not alone and being able to get together and be there for each other is a relief and enjoyable.  He knows things I don't and helps me, and I can help him in ways I want to and it is great.


I'm glad you've found someone to share things with. I just hope it's genuine and you are not desperately clinging to each other just for the sake of having someone.


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## jujube (Jul 17, 2019)

Sounds like a great arrangement.  We all need to find our comfort level and it looks like you've found yours.  Best of luck.


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## treeguy64 (Jul 17, 2019)

Way to go, FC13! I hope your arrangement goes well. Always keep those lines of communication open, and never take each other, or your relationship, for granted. Good relationships take constant tweaking.


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## fancicoffee13 (Jul 18, 2019)

treeguy64 said:


> Way to go, FC13! I hope your arrangement goes well. Always keep those lines of communication open, and never take each other, or your relationship, for granted. Good relationships take constant tweaking.


Thank you treeguy64.


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## fancicoffee13 (Jul 18, 2019)

Rosemarie said:


> I'm glad you've found someone to share things with. I just hope it's genuine and you are not desperately clinging to each other just for the sake of having someone.


It is genuine and thank you.


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## fancicoffee13 (Jul 18, 2019)

jujube said:


> Sounds like a great arrangement.  We all need to find our comfort level and it looks like you've found yours.  Best of luck.


Thank you so much.


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## fancicoffee13 (Jul 18, 2019)

StarSong said:


> Sounds like a terrific arrangement, FC.  Glad you've found someone to spend some time with.


Thank you.


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## deesierra (Jul 19, 2019)

Sounds ideal to me! Would love to find that myself.


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## OneEyedDiva (Aug 4, 2019)

It's nice that you've found someone you enjoy to share your life with. Hope it continues.


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## Autumn72 (Feb 24, 2022)

Now how in the world did that happen!
You must tell, I for one would love the details. Honestly


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## fancicoffee13 (Feb 25, 2022)

Autumn72 said:


> Now how in the world did that happen!
> You must tell, I for one would love the details. Honestly


The details are: I had lived alone successfully and happily for about 4 years.  I had prayed and asked for a husband but said I would be happy if He didn't want me to have a husband.  Tom came into my life, he lived in the apartment building I did.  I talked with him just as I do my other neighbors.  He came over more often than I expected and he is quite a talker and so am I.  We enjoyed each others company so much, I invited him in for a glass of tea.  And I had dogs, he had dogs.  After 4-5 months he popped the question.  I said yes.  The rest is history.  Of course, we had the discussion about our passed spouses and us being seniors-the inevitability of our handicaps.  We had both been caregivers.  So, we got married.  And very happy we are 2 yrs. later!


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## Signe The Survivor (Feb 25, 2022)

fancicoffee13 said:


> The details are: I had lived alone successfully and happily for about 4 years.  I had prayed and asked for a husband but said I would be happy if He didn't want me to have a husband.  Tom came into my life, he lived in the apartment building I did.  I talked with him just as I do my other neighbors.  He came over more often than I expected and he is quite a talker and so am I.  We enjoyed each others company so much, I invited him in for a glass of tea.  And I had dogs, he had dogs.  After 4-5 months he popped the question.  I said yes.  The rest is history.  Of course, we had the discussion about our passed spouses and us being seniors-the inevitability of our handicaps.  We had both been caregivers.  So, we got married.  And very happy we are 2 yrs. later!


I am so very happy for you. It certainly does seem like you are both very happy and enjoying your life together.

I have often wondered what it would be like to have a mans steady presence in my life as I am aging. I have been divorced for many a decade now and have had several men in my life over that time period. None of which I thought of marrying. I don't even think now I would go down the aisle again, but having that male companionship late in life to share not only intimacy with, but travel, caring for one another and just plain friendship does sound somewhat appealing.


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## Packerjohn (Feb 25, 2022)

fancicoffee13 said:


> I and a gentleman are enjoying going places, doing things for each other, and just not being lonely anymore.  It is a benefit, sharing with each other, and a sigh of relief sort of.  Just knowing you are not alone and being able to get together and be there for each other is a relief and enjoyable.  He knows things I don't and helps me, and I can help him in ways I want to and it is great.


Congratulations for your lovely comment.  Sure beats all those other "I'm Finished With Men" that I see too many of.  How can you be finished with love is beyond my understanding.  You can be finished with work, travel, gardening but love!  Never!


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## fancicoffee13 (Feb 25, 2022)

Packerjohn said:


> Congratulations for your lovely comment.  Sure beats all those other "I'm Finished With Men" that I see too many of.  How can you be finished with love is beyond my understanding.  You can be finished with work, travel, gardening but love!  Never!


Maybe their experiences bring them to these conclusions.  I leave well enough alone and just accept the fact that they are done, and really done!  Judgement is left well enough alone.  Really, because if you only knew, you wouldn't want to know-sometimes.


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## fancicoffee13 (Feb 25, 2022)

StarSong said:


> Sounds like a terrific arrangement, FC.  Glad you've found someone to spend some time with.


Thank you, I know seniors that love one another but choose not to marry but spend lots of time just being friends.  They live in different places but get together and enjoy the company and sharing.


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## terry123 (Feb 25, 2022)

deesierra said:


> Sounds ideal to me! Would love to find that myself.


Me too!!


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## Chet (Feb 25, 2022)

Think of all the fun you can have with the money you're not spending on 2 apartments.


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## Ruthanne (Feb 25, 2022)

fancicoffee13 said:


> The details are: I had lived alone successfully and happily for about 4 years.  I had prayed and asked for a husband but said I would be happy if He didn't want me to have a husband.  Tom came into my life, he lived in the apartment building I did.  I talked with him just as I do my other neighbors.  He came over more often than I expected and he is quite a talker and so am I.  We enjoyed each others company so much, I invited him in for a glass of tea.  And I had dogs, he had dogs.  After 4-5 months he popped the question.  I said yes.  The rest is history.  Of course, we had the discussion about our passed spouses and us being seniors-the inevitability of our handicaps.  We had both been caregivers.  So, we got married.  And very happy we are 2 yrs. later!


That's a beautiful story and sounds like you were meant for each other.  Congratulations even though I'm late with it.


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## dseag2 (Feb 25, 2022)

fancicoffee13 said:


> The details are: I had lived alone successfully and happily for about 4 years.  I had prayed and asked for a husband but said I would be happy if He didn't want me to have a husband.  Tom came into my life, he lived in the apartment building I did.  I talked with him just as I do my other neighbors.  He came over more often than I expected and he is quite a talker and so am I.  We enjoyed each others company so much, I invited him in for a glass of tea.  And I had dogs, he had dogs.  After 4-5 months he popped the question.  I said yes.  The rest is history.  Of course, we had the discussion about our passed spouses and us being seniors-the inevitability of our handicaps.  We had both been caregivers.  So, we got married.  And very happy we are 2 yrs. later!


Very happy for you!  We all deserve to find our soulmates!


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## Liberty (Feb 26, 2022)

Think its just nice to have someone to act as a sounding board for a person's ideas.  Have a longtime  male friend, who is single, and calls me up every couple days or so just to "talk". He often asks my advice on things.

Everybody needs somebody to have as a "buddy".  Keeps the  lonesome feelings at bay and helps expand the mind.


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## Packerjohn (Feb 26, 2022)

Chet said:


> Think of all the fun you can have with the money you're not spending on 2 apartments.


Excellent comment; especially now with hyper-inflation in the cost of living and the cost of accommodation going up and up and up.  Simple case:  Lady pays $1500 rent/month; Gentleman pays $1500 rent/month.  Total = $3,000 rent/month.  

Now the lady and gentleman move in together and the rent is $1,500/month.  That is a saving of $18,000/year!  WOW!  What do the lady and the gentleman do with the windfall?  Get drunk?  Go on a cruise? Spend the winter in Mexico?  Buy a motorcycle and do Route 66?  Probably all of this and maybe more over the next 2 or 3 years.  Seems to me, that life just got better for 1 lady and 1 gentleman that decided to move in together rather than being alone.


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## Gaer (Feb 26, 2022)

Oh, There are MEN but I think my life plan (preplanned) now is to be alone.
I must toughen up  because the years ahead will be hard  I can do this.
Any man in my life would have to be pretty incredible and I refuse to settle
for a lesser man.  I could only live with a man I honor and respect completely.
But, for those who have chosen to do this to combat being lonely I think it's wonderful.


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## fancicoffee13 (Feb 26, 2022)

Packerjohn said:


> Excellent comment; especially now with hyper-inflation in the cost of living and the cost of accommodation going up and up and up.  Simple case:  Lady pays $1500 rent/month; Gentleman pays $1500 rent/month.  Total = $3,000 rent/month.
> 
> Now the lady and gentleman move in together and the rent is $1,500/month.  That is a saving of $18,000/year!  WOW!  What do the lady and the gentleman do with the windfall?  Get drunk?  Go on a cruise? Spend the winter in Mexico?  Buy a motorcycle and do Route 66?  Probably all of this and maybe more over the next 2 or 3 years.  Seems to me, that life just got better for 1 lady and 1 gentleman that decided to move in together rather than being alone.


That is not why we got married.  It makes it easier to save, give back, spend on the car if need be, spend on medical needs, etc.


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## Leann (Feb 26, 2022)

I have a wonderful man in my life. Neither of us wishes to get married again but we have discussed living together at some time in the future, perhaps later this year.


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## fancicoffee13 (Feb 26, 2022)

Leann said:


> I have a wonderful man in my life. Neither of us wishes to get married again but we have discussed living together at some time in the future, perhaps later this year.


You two sound like a lot of couples (senior) that I have met and they work it out either together or apart.


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## Medusa (Feb 26, 2022)

fancicoffee13 said:


> The details are: I had lived alone successfully and happily for about 4 years.  I had prayed and asked for a husband but said I would be happy if He didn't want me to have a husband.  Tom came into my life, he lived in the apartment building I did.  I talked with him just as I do my other neighbors.  He came over more often than I expected and he is quite a talker and so am I.  We enjoyed each others company so much, I invited him in for a glass of tea.  And I had dogs, he had dogs.  After 4-5 months he popped the question.  I said yes.  The rest is history.  Of course, we had the discussion about our passed spouses and us being seniors-the inevitability of our handicaps.  We had both been caregivers.  So, we got married.  And very happy we are 2 yrs. later!


Well, that is simply wonderful.  Very happy for you both.  ♥


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## Medusa (Feb 26, 2022)

fancicoffee13 said:


> Maybe their experiences bring them to these conclusions.  I leave well enough alone and just accept the fact that they are done, and really done!  Judgement is left well enough alone.  Really, because if you only knew, you wouldn't want to know-sometimes.


 _Judgement is left well enough alone. Really, because if you only knew, you wouldn't want to know-sometimes._

Well said, @fancicoffee13


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## Packerjohn (Feb 27, 2022)

Gaer said:


> Oh, There are MEN but I think my life plan (preplanned) now is to be alone.
> I must toughen up  because the years ahead will be hard  I can do this.
> Any man in my life would have to be pretty incredible and I refuse to settle
> for a lesser man.  I could only live with a man I honor and respect completely.
> But, for those who have chosen to do this to combat being lonely I think it's wonderful.


Incredible men might be hard to find.  Bill Gates and Jeff Bozos are just too busy and just too rich.  It's OK to reach for the stars but sometimes you have to accept only getting to the moon!  Reaching only to the moon can still be nice.    Better the moon than never having got off the ground.


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## Gaer (Feb 27, 2022)

Packerjohn said:


> Incredible men might be hard to find.  Bill Gates and Jeff Bozos are just too busy and just too rich.  It's OK to reach for the stars but sometimes you have to accept only getting to the moon!  Reaching only to the moon can still be nice.    Better the moon than never having got off the ground.


Ha ha!  That's funny!
Money means nothing!
Intelligent!  Spiritual!  well-read, tender, robust, eloquent, confident, dependable, masculine, laughing eyes, rugged spirit, unafraid.
I have a whole list but most of all he has to have a tender heart.
I'm sure you're right!  He probably doesn't exist!  Oh Well!
Nope!  Rather be alone than settle!


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## fancicoffee13 (Feb 27, 2022)

Packerjohn said:


> Incredible men might be hard to find.  Bill Gates and Jeff Bozos are just too busy and just too rich.  It's OK to reach for the stars but sometimes you have to accept only getting to the moon!  Reaching only to the moon can still be nice.    Better the moon than never having got off the ground.


Well I wanted, and prayed for more than the moon, and got the best!!!!!!! Dream big I always say.


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## Packerjohn (Feb 28, 2022)

Gaer said:


> Ha ha!  That's funny!
> Money means nothing!
> Intelligent!  Spiritual!  well-read, tender, robust, eloquent, confident, dependable, masculine, laughing eyes, rugged spirit, unafraid.
> I have a whole list but most of all he has to have a tender heart.
> ...


Actually, there is nothing wrong with having a "dream guy" with a dozen or so wonderful qualities.  However, there is always compromise in a relationship.  So, if you can't find anyone with all 12 of those "must have" qualities, finding someone with just 8 or 9 of those features would still be a good deal.  However, I tend to agree that someone with absolutely none of your requirements, just 2 legs, a filthy mouth and a bottle of beer in his hand, is a guy that you definitely don't want to know.  Good luck!


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## Autumn72 (Mar 31, 2022)

fancicoffee13 said:


> It is genuine and thank you.


How did you meet?
How did you know?
Details unless you want to write a book.
It seems he is the Missing ingredient.
I am truly happy for you.


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## Autumn72 (Apr 5, 2022)

fancicoffee13 said:


> The details are: I had lived alone successfully and happily for about 4 years.  I had prayed and asked for a husband but said I would be happy if He didn't want me to have a husband.  Tom came into my life, he lived in the apartment building I did.  I talked with him just as I do my other neighbors.  He came over more often than I expected and he is quite a talker and so am I.  We enjoyed each others company so much, I invited him in for a glass of tea.  And I had dogs, he had dogs.  After 4-5 months he popped the question.  I said yes.  The rest is history.  Of course, we had the discussion about our passed spouses and us being seniors-the inevitability of our handicaps.  We had both been caregivers.  So, we got married.  And very happy we are 2 yrs. later!


Thank you for sharing your beautiful story.
You have given me inspiration to do as you have to make a world of difference in a time as reality is.
Your outcome from your efforts proves that it's better to be naturally yourself with others without fear of the unknown day to day interactions of covid-19 instead of isolation even though your meetings was when covid-19 was not around then.


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## fancicoffee13 (Apr 5, 2022)

Autumn72 said:


> Thank you for sharing your beautiful story.
> You have given me inspiration to do as you have to make a world of difference in a time as reality is.
> Your outcome from your efforts proves that it's better to be naturally yourself with others without fear of the unknown day to day interactions of covid-19 instead of isolation even though your meetings was when covid-19 was not around then.


I am glad you liked my article.  I never liked isolation.  When I retired, those people I worked with were work friends and now I had go make up my mind to go out and find other friends.  I also chose a senior center, they are a lot older than me, but I made some friends there and have known them for 9 years now.  So, being yourself is really ok, even though some might not like it.  I don't care, I will find someone who does.  Keep on keeping on.


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## Lara (Apr 6, 2022)

Gaer said:


> ...Intelligent!  Spiritual!  well-read, tender, robust, eloquent, confident, dependable, masculine, laughing eyes, rugged spirit, unafraid. I have a whole list but most of all he has to have a tender heart. I'm sure you're right!  He probably doesn't exist!  Oh Well! Nope!  Rather be alone than settle!



Make it simple.
Be lovable and then choose someone who loves you just as you are. Then love him as he is. Now you have the freedom to enjoy love without boundaries. You're free to love. A few necessary qualities are okay to desire, like a tender heart, but I'd destroy the long list of "must haves". 

"Love keeps no record of wrongs". 
No one has all the qualities on your list at all times. Keeping a list and not settling for less is just a set-up for failure.

"Love does not dishonor others and is not self-seeking". 
I would write your list of qualities for the perfect man down on a piece of paper. Then I would let go of the list as it floats down the stream, or off into the ocean, or take a match to it and let the ashes blow to the wind. Or bury it. 

It sounds dramatic but it will help you let go of your list as a whole...and know it's final.
`


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## fancicoffee13 (Apr 8, 2022)

Lara said:


> Make it simple.
> Be lovable and then choose someone who loves you just as you are. Then love him as he is. Now you have the freedom to enjoy love without boundaries. You're free to love. A few necessary qualities are okay to desire, like a tender heart, but I'd destroy the long list of "must haves".
> 
> "Love keeps no record of wrongs".
> ...


We love each other with these in mind.  Working out great!


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