# So you want to move to Florida. Not written by me.



## Pappy (Apr 30, 2020)

Years ago, my wife and I moved into a retirement development on Florida 's southeast coast.  We are living in the  "Delray/ Boca /Boynton Golf, Spa, Bath and Tennis Club on Lake Fake-a-Hachee".   There are 3,000 lakes in Florida; only three are real.

Our biggest retirement concern was time management. What were we going to do all day? No longer. Let me assure you, passing the time is not a problem.

Our days are eaten up by simple, daily activities. Just getting out of our car takes 15 minutes. Trying to find where we parked takes 20 minutes. It takes a half-hour in the check-out line in Wal-Mart, and 1 hour to return the item the next day.

Let me take you through a typical day: We get up at 5:00 am, have a quick breakfast and join the early morning Walk-and-Fart Club. There are about 30 of us, and rain or shine, we walk around the streets, all talking at once. Every development has some late risers who stay in bed until 6:00 am. After a nimble walk, avoiding irate drivers out to make us road kill, we go back home, shower and change for the next activity.

My wife goes directly to the pool for her underwater  Pilates class, followed by gasping for breath and CPR. I put on my 'Ask me about my Grandchildren' T-shirt, my plaid mid-calf shorts, my white socks and sandals and go to the clubhouse lobby for a nice nap.  Before we know it, it's time for lunch.

We go to Costco to partake of the many tasty samples dispensed by ladies in white hair nets. All free! After a filling lunch, if we don't have any doctor appointments, we might go to the flea market to see if any new white belts have come in or to buy a Rolex watch for $2.00.

We're usually back home by 2:00 pm to get ready for dinner. People start lining up for the early bird about 3:00 pm, but we get there by 3:45 because we're late eaters.

The dinners are very popular because of the large portions they serve. We can take home enough food for the next day's lunch and dinner, including extra bread, crackers,  packets of mustard, relish, ketchup and Splenda, along with mints.

At 5:30 pm we're home, ready to watch the 6 o'clock news. By 6:30 pm we're fast asleep. Then we get up and make five or six trips to the bathroom during the night, and it's time to get up and start a new day all over again.

Doctor-related activities eat up most of our retirement time. I enjoy reading old magazines in sub-zero temperatures in the waiting room, so I don't mind.

Calling for test results also helps the days fly by. It takes at least a half-hour just getting through the doctor's phone menu. Then there's the hold time until we're connected to the right party. Sometimes they forget we're holding, and the whole office goes off to lunch

Should we find we still have time on our hands, volunteering provides a rewarding opportunity to help the less fortunate.

Florida has the largest concentration of seniors under five feet and they need our help. I myself am a volunteer for 'The Vertically Challenged Over 80.' I coach their basketball team, The Arthritic Avengers. The hoop is only 4-1/2 feet from the floor. You should see the look of confidence on their faces when they make a slam dunk.

Food shopping is a problem for short seniors, or 'bottom feeders' as we call them, because they can't reach the items on the upper shelves. There are many foods they've never tasted. After shopping, most seniors can't remember where they parked their cars and wander the parking lot for hours while their food defrosts.

Lastly, it's important to choose a development with an impressive name. Italian names are very popular in Florida. They convey world travelers, uppity sophistication and wealth. Where would you rather live: Murray 's Condos or the Lakes of Venice ? There's no difference -- they're both owned by Murray, who happens to be a cheap bastard.

I hope this material has been of help to you future retirees. If I can be of any further assistance, please look me up when you're in Florida. I live in the Leaning Condos of Pisa in Boynton Beach


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## gennie (Apr 30, 2020)

The northbound lanes of both I-95 and I-75 are wide open.  Pack up and leave if it does not suit you.


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## peppermint (Apr 30, 2020)

We use to go to Florida every year...We have friend's there....We have not gone in many years.
We decided to get a cottage in another State....on the East Coast...

I just talked on phone, to my friend of many years....She said it's not the Florida she use to know...But
she is stuck there....She lives alone....


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## Buckeye (Apr 30, 2020)

lol - funny stuff.  I lived in central Florida for over 5 years, and would consider moving back.  This worst thing (and missing from the OP) was the "love bugs" that swarm your car at traffic lights and stink up your garage when you get home.  

Peace and Love to all.


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## peppermint (Apr 30, 2020)

Buckeye...At one time we lived in Ohio....Only for 2 and a half years....Hubby had worked there.... up northern Ohio was so cold and at that time snow for the whole winter....


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## Judycat (Apr 30, 2020)

I've been to Florida. Nice place to visit but I wouldn't want to live there.


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## Buckeye (Apr 30, 2020)

Judycat said:


> I've been to Florida. Nice place to visit but I wouldn't want to live there.



lol - I've been to Pennsylvania - not even a nice place to visit.  

Just kidding, of course.


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## Judycat (Apr 30, 2020)

Buckeye said:


> lol - I've been to Pennsylvania - not even a nice place to visit.
> 
> Just kidding, of course.


I agree with you about Pennsylvania.


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## Judycat (Apr 30, 2020)

I was thinking maybe Arizona. Nice and dry. Cats like that.


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## peppermint (Apr 30, 2020)

gennie said:


> The northbound lanes of both I-95 and I-75 are wide open.  Pack up and leave if it does not suit you.


Sometimes it is bumper to bumper …..UGH!!!!!


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## Buckeye (Apr 30, 2020)

Judycat said:


> I was thinking maybe Arizona. Nice and dry. Cats like that.


I recently lived in Phoenix area for a few years.  Yes it is hot in August, but, all in all, it was great.  My SO wants us to move back

I miss palm trees...


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## IrisSenior (Apr 30, 2020)

the think the OP's post is a joke. Says it wasn't him that said it anyways.

I have been to Florida a few times but I wouldn't want to live there. The humidity would kill me. We recently went to Las Vegas Nevada (Nov 10) and no I wouldn't want to live there either (unless you are right inside Las Vegas area, the outside area seems bare and depressing). I don't know if there is any areas in the United States that I would want to live at. My area has 4 seasons: some rain, some sun, some storms (not very violent), some snow. There usually are no hurricanes, tornados, no earthquakes, no flooding (or only once in awhile), so humid you can't breathe, so dry you can't breathe, so much snow that my 5 foot body would be buried.


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## jujube (Apr 30, 2020)

I took Pappy's post as humor and had to laugh along with it.

I really have to agree with the names the developers give their projects.  First they cut down all the trees, drive off the wildlife, drain the lake, and then they name it after all the things that are gone: "Bluebird Lake Woods Estates".  Uh, yeah.....

I lived in the Frozen North for 21 years.  Not for me.  I lived in an exotic foreign country for 2 1/2 years and loved it.  Then we moved to a third-world country (Detroit) for six years (couldn't get out fast enough) and now Central Florida for 42 years.  I know all the Florida jokes.


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## Ken N Tx (Apr 30, 2020)

Buckeye said:


> lol - I've been to Pennsylvania - not even a nice place to visit.
> 
> Just kidding, of course.





Judycat said:


> I agree with you about Pennsylvania.


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## C'est Moi (Apr 30, 2020)

Pappy said:


> Years ago, my wife and I moved into a retirement development on Florida 's southeast coast.  We are living in the  "Delray/ Boca /Boynton Golf, Spa, Bath and Tennis Club on Lake Fake-a-Hachee".   There are 3,000 lakes in Florida; only three are real.
> 
> Our biggest retirement concern was time management. What were we going to do all day? No longer. Let me assure you, passing the time is not a problem.
> 
> ...



Haha, this is hilarious, Pappy.   Sorry some people totally missed the humor.   Thanks for sharing.


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## Liberty (May 1, 2020)

C'est Moi said:


> Haha, this is hilarious, Pappy.   Sorry some people totally missed the humor.   Thanks for sharing.


Hub and I were just talking about the fact that folks don't seem to have the good "sense of humor" they used to!


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## Pappy (May 1, 2020)

Pappy said:


> Years ago, my wife and I moved into a retirement development on Florida 's southeast coast.  We are living in the  "Delray/ Boca /Boynton Golf, Spa, Bath and Tennis Club on Lake Fake-a-Hachee".   There are 3,000 lakes in Florida; only three are real.
> 
> Our biggest retirement concern was time management. What were we going to do all day? No longer. Let me assure you, passing the time is not a problem.
> 
> ...





gennie said:


> The northbound lanes of both I-95 and I-75 are wide open.  Pack up and leave if it does not suit you.



I’m aware of which way I-95 and I-75 run. This was not written by me as stated. I am very happy here in Florida, so if you don’t mind, I’ll stay.


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## Pappy (May 1, 2020)

C'est Moi said:


> Haha, this is hilarious, Pappy.   Sorry some people totally missed the humor.   Thanks for sharing.



Apparently gennie doesn’t get it.


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## C'est Moi (May 1, 2020)

Liberty said:


> Hub and I were just talking about the fact that folks don't seem to have the good "sense of humor" they used to!


Isn't that the truth.   Of course I have kind of a weird sense of humor and my sons are just like me.  We have so many inside jokes that crack us up while other people are looking at us funny.


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## Kaila (May 1, 2020)

I thought the funniest part, was how you put the "disclaimer" right into the title,  
at the outset  @Pappy 

That struck me as funny, long before I read any of your original above post, or the others.

As if to say...."Don't blame *me*!
*I* didn't write this!"


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## Manatee (May 1, 2020)

I have visited 18 countries plus some other places that are not countries, but I keep coming home to Florida.
Not countries: Cayman islands, Martinique, Bermuda and Gibraltar.
Different parts of Florida are different.


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## terry123 (May 2, 2020)

My brother lives in Miami and says it has changed so much since he first moved there.  They are planning to move a little further north since his retirement.  I love to visit them there as they take us all around the city.  I could not afford to live there but its nice to visit!


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## squatting dog (May 24, 2020)

Buckeye said:


> lol - I've been to Pennsylvania - not even a nice place to visit.
> 
> Just kidding, of course.


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## squatting dog (May 24, 2020)

Judycat said:


> I was thinking maybe Arizona. Nice and dry. Cats like that.



Yes, southern AZ. is dry, but, don't forget the coyote's, they love to snack on small doggies and cats.   That's the one thing we always have to be on the lookout for whenever we're out there. I Just think of them as the gators of the west. aka (small pet's beware)
I suppose if we were to seek out a near perfect retirement spot, for us it would be San Diego. Having lived there before, I found the climate to be great. I realize that it's crowded and expensive, but, as far as dreaming can take me, that's the spot. Preferably on an upstairs condo balcony overlooking the ocean and yet above the street noise and masses of humanity. Hey, a man can dream, right?


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## Judycat (May 24, 2020)

We have coyotes in PA too. Probably not as many though.


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## oldman (May 24, 2020)

We owned a beautiful home in Clearwater for about 8 years. It was used as a getaway retreat and long weeks in the winter. We finally decided to sell it, but I am always willing to go back. The evenings on the Gulf were excellent.

If we decide to go back, we will probably buy a double wide mobile home. A lot of security in those communities.


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## Victor (Jun 7, 2020)

Hilarious LOL


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## LindaB (Jun 8, 2020)

Pappy said:


> Years ago, my wife and I moved into a retirement development on Florida 's southeast coast.  We are living in the  "Delray/ Boca /Boynton Golf, Spa, Bath and Tennis Club on Lake Fake-a-Hachee".   There are 3,000 lakes in Florida; only three are real.
> 
> Our biggest retirement concern was time management. What were we going to do all day? No longer. Let me assure you, passing the time is not a problem.
> 
> ...


I know you wrote this tongue -in- cheek but it is so spot on. I grew up in South Florida and lived there for 50 years. Your observation, among other reasons too numerous to mention, is why we left there. Besides some friends and family there is NOTHING I miss about Florida. Really, years ago, it used to be a paradise and was nothing like the hell hole it has become today.


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## Liberty (Jun 8, 2020)

LindaB said:


> I know you wrote this tongue -in- cheek but it is so spot on. I grew up in South Florida and lived there for 50 years. Your observation, among other reasons too numerous to mention, is why we left there. Besides some friends and family there is NOTHING I miss about Florida. Really, years ago, it used to be a paradise and was nothing like the hell hole it has become today.


Probably depends on where you live.  Some beach places are built out now, so they haven't changed much except for the crazy snowbird traffic.  That's what kept us from going back.  We don't live where the winters are long and brutal and just visited for a month or 6 weeks  each winter for a change.  When the traffic became so brutal we stopped visiting the beachfront condo.  Its like all the northerners discovered the beach.  When I was a kid a lot of people lived inland and didn't care about living by the beach.


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## JB in SC (Jun 8, 2020)

Hysterical and true....

The Florida I knew in the late 50’s and early to mid 60’s was a great vacation spot for us. Especially the space coast, my late dad and I loved fishing for Pompano...that was some great eating. We had friends from England stay at the same little oceanfront motel every year. They gave me an appreciation of a proper cuppa and scone.


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