# If you had in-laws ,were they good or bad ,or crazy ?



## Sassycakes (Jan 12, 2019)

I've been thinking about my husbands parents alot today because it would have been their anniversary. They have been gone many years now but I still miss them very much. I started dating my husband when I was 15yrs old. I'm Italian and my Husband is Irish. In those days it caused problems when an Irish person married an Italian. I was very lucky that my in-laws loved me anyway. The same with my parents and my husband. My Mother-in-law had a very hard life when she was growing up, but put that all aside when she married and had children. She was a wonderful wife and mother. I loved her the first day I met her. She also made me laugh a lot. One day when I was at her house ,she asked me to help her find her eyeglasses. We searched the whole house and couldn't find them. Finally I asked her how different where they from the ones she had on. She touched her face and said "Oh my God I have them on." I can't tell you how long we laughed. Another time we were at a wedding and I asked her if she wanted to go to the Ladies Room. She said "What a wonderful girl you are ,no one ever asked me that before." When we got in the Ladies room she said to me "By the way sweetie you look tall and beautiful in your dress."
She always made me smile. In her later years she even told me that I treated her better than her own daughters treated her. I was really Blessed with my in-laws. I wish everyone had in-laws like them.


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## C'est Moi (Jan 12, 2019)

I do have a wonderful mother-in-law.   She's still very much alive and is a sweetheart.   My father-in-law was kind of a horse's patoot; he passed away a few years ago.


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## ClassicRockr (Jan 13, 2019)

Both of our parents have been gone for years and the rest of the in-laws are simply just ok. The "simply ok" is the reason we choose not to live anywhere near family.


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## Tommy (Jan 13, 2019)

I too am fortunate to have married into a nice family.  Due to geography, I only see those who are still living once or twice a year now, but they're good people.


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## ClassicRockr (Jan 13, 2019)

I'd better resay what I said.......my wife's family are very nice, so, basically above the "simply ok" thing. Thing is, there interests are like 100% different than ours.


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## Gary O' (Jan 13, 2019)

*If you had in-laws ,were they good or bad ,or crazy ?*

Bad
And crazy

Drank like fish
Smoked like fish

I extracted my lady from Port Arthur very early on
It’s why she’s still alive and healthy 
And why I’m not still in jail from offing the lot of them

They’re all dead now
From natural causes
Lived right up to the ripe old age of 52


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## Sassycakes (Jan 13, 2019)

I was really lucky compared to others. My 2 children both have awful in-laws. My daughter especially. Her mother-in-law is the most hateful person I have ever met. I don't know how I got so lucky. All of my husbands remaining brothers and sisters nieces and nephews stay in close contact with us. Just this morning one of his nephews asked if he could stop in to see us with his Dad. My husband is excited to see his older brother. He is in his 90's and his son and his wife take care of him. I can't wait to see them.


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## Ruth n Jersey (Jan 13, 2019)

Both my in-laws died about 3 years after we were married. During that brief time I had no problems with them, in fact my mother-in law was a very fair person. Soon after we were married my hubby made a financial decision without talking it over with me. He did it in a bit of an underhanded way hoping I wouldn't find out. I was very upset and called my mother-in- law. She told me to have him stop by on his way home from work. He did and she must have really let him have it. He came home red faced with his tail between his legs. Apologizing to know end. I've never had a problem since that incident.  We are going into our 46th year of marriage. She must have made quite an impact.


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## ClassicRockr (Jan 13, 2019)

When I stated that in-laws are 100% different than us, that basically includes their personalities. To a point, my in-laws look at me as a "Black Sheep", whereas my wife looks at me in a totally different way. They "seemed" to be glad that we met and married, but my humor and, sometimes, sarcastic attitude, doesn't fit them. My wife loves my personality, but in-laws...………...won't go there.


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## SeaBreeze (Jan 13, 2019)

My in-laws have passed on, but they were both nice people and animal lovers like us.  I was lucky not to have any friction with my in-laws.


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## RadishRose (Jan 13, 2019)

They were great!


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## jujube (Jan 13, 2019)

My mother-in-law referred to me for several years as "The Wh0re of Babylon".   My sins, you might ask?  Well, #1-I was not Catholic, #2-I had been engaged before (and apparently that indicated that I was "used goods"), and #3 (and most importantly)-I was marrying their son.

The last thing she said to my husband for five years was "I'd rather see you dead and buried" and "I'd rather be standing over your coffin".  Isn't that motherly?

My father-in-law went along with all this, which was surprising, because he had been drummed out of HIS family for marrying a Catholic, to the point where they scratched his name out of the family bible.  You'd think after having something like that done to YOU, you'd not want to do it to a child of yours.

I finally met them five years after we were married and we established a "civil" relationship for the few years they were alive after that.  My husband did not forgive them, though.  

The rest of the family came to accept me warmly, though, and I consider one of his sisters to be like a sister to me.


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## Giantsfan1954 (Jan 13, 2019)

My husband's mom had passed right before we met in 74.His father was still alive and quite a piece of work,he had been a raging alcoholic and very abusive during hubby and his 3 sisters younger years so he was tolerated at best.
The aforementioned sisters and their husband's were wonderful to me and made life very enjoyable. 
They are all gone now,just myself and a brother in law left.


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## Pinky (Jan 13, 2019)

My in-laws were lovely people. My nationality was never an issue with them. They were English/Scots background ... very generous of heart, and spoiled their grand-daughter as much as they possibly could. In fact, she was the light of their lives. My husband was an only child, and so is our daughter. "Pappy" bought us a new mini-van in order to reduce his taxes. He said he'd rather spend it than give the money to the government. When we went over for lunch, "Mother" had the dining table laid out with her lace tablecloth, silver and good china .. and always, a special little cup and saucer for our little daughter. They both reached their early 80's.


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## Buckeye (Jan 13, 2019)

Yes


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## Linda (Jan 13, 2019)

My mother-in-law was nice but my father-in-law was hard to get along with.  They both have been gone for many years.


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## Ann (Jan 27, 2019)

My Father in law passed away during our first year of marriage. I didn’t get to know him as much as I would have liked. My mother in law was a lovely lady.


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## treeguy64 (Jan 27, 2019)

Mils were horrible. Fils were unknowns.


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## RadishRose (Jan 27, 2019)

Better than good, they were great!


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## Capt Lightning (Jan 27, 2019)

My in-laws were great people.  MiL was a weaver and has a bit deaf from the noise of the looms.  FiL was a merchant seaman who sailed on the Atlantic convoys and later on the D-Day landings.  He never talked much about the war, but occasionally when the weather was really bad, he would remark that it would keep the U-Boats away.


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## CarolfromTX (Jan 27, 2019)

My mother-in-law never got my name right. She always called me Cheryl, and my name is Carol. She told people I was Polish, when in fact my grandparents were Czech, which is no big deal, except I think she meant it as an insult. Fortunately, we lived 12 hours away by car and didn't visit but twice a year. I had to bite my tongue so often on those occasions I'm surprised it didn't fall off. Back in the day, when long distance phone calls were expensive, I'd write the in-laws letters. They would always thank my husband for those, even though they were in my handwriting. Didn't take me long to just quit writing. No, I never liked her much.


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## Pappy (Jan 27, 2019)

In laws were farmers and raised 15 kids. They were the best when you could get a word in edgewise. God fearing people. Miss them.


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## Aneeda72 (Mar 5, 2019)

Jujube

Reminds me of my mother-in-law.  I had been married once before so "used goods" for sure.  Although I wasn't pregnant, like her daughter was when she married a few months later.  Lol.

Both his parents were drunks.  I remember going to an early morning baseball game, when I first met her, and she could barely stand up.  They were never grandparents to my (our) son, and when our daughter came along they gave her one doll.  That's it, one doll for her whole life.

The father in law died young, in his fifties as I remember, from liver diease due to the drinking.  The other children, especially the sister, did not want to give my husband his little share of what was left.  As far as I was concerned they could keep it.  My mother in law died in her early sixties and his sister sent notice of disinheritment along with her death notice.

The court was displeased with the disinheritment.  Sent notification for him to respond, lol, I told him not to.  The others had to wait a year to get their money due to his lack of response.  We were never interested in money.  We were so poor during this period of our lives a few nickles and dimes would mean nothing.

In fact, this is such an issue for my wealthy brother, money.  I told him to keep whatever mother leaves.  I don't need any of her nickles and dimes either.  I fail to understand the importance people put on money and the fear they have in sharing it.  The clothes I buy at wal-mart do the same job as the clothes someone buys at a speciality store.

His wife once said to me that her favorite thing about us was that we never asked them for money.  Ugh.


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## Ronni (Mar 5, 2019)

When I was married it was constant war with my MIL.  She was the matriarch of the family, and ruled with an iron hand.  Southern Belle in her day, and turned into a shrew as she grew older.  Sweet as pie as long as you were compliant.  "Honey child" this and "darlin' " that, until you crossed her intentionally or otherwise.  And for me, it was NEVER intentionally!  But man, if I did something she didn't approve of?   Her caustic, sarcastic, cutting comments would reduce me to tears.  

She had an opinion on everything!  When I breastfed her first grandchild, she about came unglued!  When it was apparent that HER opinion wasn't going to be the ruling decision, she set about to belittle, invalidate, negate and generally discount every opinion, reference, article, scientific journal, informational source that she was presented with.  Nope.  It was HER way or you were the devil!  

Her husband/my FIL on the other hand was the sweetest, kindest man.  Gentle and easygoing, and every time she'd start in, he'd say "Now, Ruth..."  And she'd shoot back "Don't you 'now Ruth' me, y'old coot!"  She treated him like dirt. Cut him down at every turn.  Talked over him at every opportunity.  Seemed to intensely dislike him.    

She passed away from cancer in the 80's.  We all thought that her husband would flourish now that he was out from under her iron rule.  He died to the day one year later.  A simple surgery that he needed, and just simply did not recover from, even though he was in remarkably good health


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## Aneeda72 (Mar 5, 2019)

Ronni, so sorry this happened to you.  Your MIL didn't believe in breast feeding?  My son's first wife breast fed her children.  The only problem with it was she didn't understand the concept of "covering up".  My husband saw a lot of the ceiling in those days.  Hehe.

Sometimes people can only feel "big" by making others feel "small".  Sounds like your MIL fit this bill.

I try hard not to criticize people, my grown children or their others, the grandchildren, or even the little great grandchildren.  The fastest way to lose family or friends (if you have them) IMO is to open your mouth with something well meaning but negative.  I learned this lesson years ago.  I try only say positive things to them, but I do slip sometimes.

When my granddaughter remarked that her sister thought the stretch pants she was wearing were too tight; I replied that they had a very pretty floral pattern.  Although, I had no ideal how she manage to get them on, lol.


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## Nihil (Mar 5, 2019)

My GF's family competes with each other and everyone else. They wear personalities to suit their agendas. I'm not like that, so they don't talk to me. Phew!


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## jujube (Mar 5, 2019)

Aneeda72 said:


> Jujube
> 
> Reminds me of my mother-in-law.  I had been married once before so "used goods" for sure.  *Although I wasn't pregnant, like her daughter was when she married a few months later.  Lol.*
> 
> ...



Oh, that too.  She was SURE I was "tricking" him into marriage by being pregnant and didn't mind telling people that.  The fact that we were on opposite coasts and hadn't laid eyes on each other for nine months until a couple of days before the wedding didn't sway her opinion.  It must have been a great disappointment that I didn't give birth until 18 months after the wedding...…...unless she thought I was an elephant, of course.


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## CeeCee (Mar 5, 2019)

They were great...they lived in Hungary.  Met them for the first time when I took my daughter for a visit when she was about 3.

My FIL was an alcoholic and a nasty one to boot.  He was always yelling at his wife to do this ..get him that, etc.  My Mil was a hardworking quiet woman but stubborn and set in her ways.

She decided to visit us in Illinois in the winter for 3 months the only time I ever worked while married.  My daughter was already in College and my son was in high school.

It wasn’t pleasant.

By the time my husband and I moved to Hungary for 6 years they were both deceased.


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## Aneeda72 (Mar 5, 2019)

Jujube,

My husband and I were seperated for, 9 months, before we decided to marry as well.  Saw him about a week before the marriage, stayed at his mom's where I learned just how much they all hated me.  Lol.  But I thought, at the time, getting to know someone through letters was better than in person.  Course, just another thing I was wrong about.  I have been wrong a lot.

CeeCee,

I lived in Downers Grove, IL for a short while.  My first husband was from Kankakee, Il.  Illinois gave me something I'll never forget-pin worms, lol.  Who knew you were not supposed to walk barefoot in the dirt.  Not me.  Hehe.


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## Lethe200 (Mar 9, 2019)

They were....polite, nice people. But I had very little in common with them, and they never understood me at all. Being Asian first-generation immigrants, it was like dealing with my grandparents, only my grandparents didn't speak English and died when I was young so I never had to deal with them, LOL.

As my DH likes to say, I'm a "grapefruit" (aka "banana"). _'Yellow on the outside, white on the inside.'_ Big differences between a third generation AsianAm and first generation naturalized AsianAm FIL/MIL. Probably worse because in many ways, I'm more like the fourth generation in lifestyle; e.g., my nieces/nephews.

We all did our best to tolerate one another, and respect boundaries. It mostly worked, although it was tougher when MIL developed dementia. She had lived with us for 7 yrs but things were getting worse every month. DH got really stressed over it until I put my foot down and said it was time for us to find her an eldercare facility nearby.

We did so, and she was very happy there until peacefully passing away. She needed that social interaction which we could not provide her with.


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## Aneeda72 (Mar 10, 2019)

Lethe200,

It's great that they were polite and nice.

I would have settled for polite and/or nice from my in-laws.  

My son's girlfriend is Chinese.  Born in China and moved here, I think, at a younger age with her parents.  I remember the first time I asked my son do due something in her presence.  He said, as usual, he'd do it in the next week or so.  And he would.  She nudged him and said "you do now!"  .  Neither wishes to marry, they are in the over 45 crowd.

No offense meant, but her attitude is working great for me and my husband!  Lol.  (I think she would be considered 2nd generation.  She speaks two dialects.  They have traveled to China as she has lots of relatives there.)  I told my son he can't break up with her until I die.  In fairness, I told my daughter she can't move till I die.  

As as I mentioned, I was in a nursing home for 24 hours.  They were neither skilled or caring, but charged 3000 for that 24 hours.


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## MeAgain (Mar 11, 2019)

Mine were ok far as inlaws go. My MIL passed a couple years ago and I really miss her. It was't always like that though. time heals all I guess.


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