# Marriage Vacations



## SandyR (Sep 25, 2022)




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## SandyR (Sep 25, 2022)

SandyR said:


>


5 minute podcast with a new twist on marriage.  Don't think it would fly with me, but to each his own...


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## fuzzybuddy (Sep 26, 2022)

Why do I think a guy thought up this "marriage vacation", where one can do whatever-no questions asked?
If you've ever had an argument with a woman, who remembers every slight you made in the last 20 years; in a argument, you don't think she's not  going to mention your desire to go "off galivanting"?  If you're a guy, you will say, "well dear , you get a vacation too." See, typical guy thinking. Typical female response,   "So, that's when you're going to sneak HER into the house, huh?."


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## Devi (Sep 26, 2022)

I wouldn't put up with that for one second. Wants a vacation from the marriage? So he can go on dates, and do whatever he wants? Yeah, right.

I'd suggest she just make it permanent. End of story; no discussions; no questions asked; just boot him out and file for divorce. Because the marriage is over.


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## Alligatorob (Sep 26, 2022)

SandyR said:


> Marriage Vacations


My wife and I have taken numerous separate vacations, probably not exactly what this describes.  Mine have usually involved fishing, and her's visiting family (so far as I know).

But to each their own, this could work for some folks.


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## Devi (Sep 26, 2022)

Alligatorob said:


> My wife and I have taken numerous separate vacations, probably not exactly what this describes.  Mine have usually involved fishing, and her's visiting family (so far as I know).


I think what this describes is, in fact, different. Separate vacations are different than "marriage vacations" where you get to go on dates with others. In effect, an agreement for that period of time that you're not married.

Why bother with the marriage, then?


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## Packerjohn (Sep 26, 2022)

The world is getting screwier and screwier.  My wife and I always traveled together and we had a wonderful time.  Actually, we had a wonderful time at home.  We planned the vacation together, went on it together and when we came home we talked about all the wonderful things that we experienced together and laughed about the silly things that went wrong.  

If my wife and I went on separate vacations I think I would start missing her in about 2 hours.  Guess we were like the "Bobsy Twins."  Can't imagine traveling without her!


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## jujube (Sep 26, 2022)

If you want to be married, be married; if you want to act single, don't be married while doing so.  I never have and I never will understand "open marriage".  I prefer mine "closed".


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## Bella (Sep 26, 2022)

Packerjohn said:


> The world is getting screwier and screwier. * My wife and I always traveled together and we had a wonderful time.  Actually, we had a wonderful time at home.  We planned the vacation together, went on it together and when we came home we talked about all the wonderful things that we experienced together and laughed about the silly things that went wrong. *
> 
> If my wife and I went on separate vacations I think I would start missing her in about 2 hours.  Guess we were like the "Bobsy Twins."  *Can't imagine traveling without her!*


Personally, I wouldn't want to take a "marriage vacation" and neither would my husband. We looked forward to vacationing _together_. John said it very well. 

However, I had no objection at all to my husband taking a couple of days to go fishing with his buddies. I never had to worry about what he was doing. I knew where he was and who he was with. He called me every day, so I even knew what he had for dinner, lol! I never once had any doubts about him. He was true blue through and through. 

Bella


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## DaveA (Sep 27, 2022)

Much to do about nothing IMHO.  My wife and I had interests that took us in different directions at times, back in the 70's-80's.  I traveled with a friend's sprint car team and spent many long week-ends on the road throughout the northeast states. Our son used to accompany us when not on his Air Guard duties.

On the other hand, my wife was active in the costuming end of local theater groups and used to take trips to New York to some of the costume houses to arrange for costume rentals.  She also worked with a few of the traveling summer stock theater groups in our area.

I can't imagine her enjoying the dirt and dust of the race tracks and the trips to New York weren't my cup of tea, even though the meals in a few well known restaurants sounded tempting.

We have spent a wonderful life together but should we have given up the interests that we enjoyed? I didn't think so then and I don't today.


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## bowmore (Sep 27, 2022)

my wife and I have taken 50 trips together. The only times I have traveled alone was to visit my aged mother on my birthday oto fly weekend counterdrug missions on the southern border with Civil Air Patrol.


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## Packerjohn (Sep 27, 2022)

jujube said:


> If you want to be married, be married; if you want to act single, don't be married while doing so.  I never have and I never will understand "open marriage".  I prefer mine "closed".


Good for you Jujube.  I remember what my wife told me when she got married the first time at a very young age.  Her husband wouldn't come home for supper.  She slaved and cooked a wonderful meal for him.  Where was he?  Drinking with the "boys."  Their marriage lasted 2 years.  Some boys/men just don't know how to "grow up.  You are so right, "if you want to be married, be married, if you want to act single, don't be married."  Some men just can't figure it out!  The concept is too hard for their brain!


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## NorthernLight (Sep 27, 2022)

Some people take a vacation from the marriage by mistake. They split up and then get back together -- sometimes years later. Perhaps to some people, doing it deliberately seems less messy.


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## Murrmurr (Sep 27, 2022)

I took a 48-year vacation from marriage. I'm only guessing that was long enough...so far, seems so.


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## Devi (Sep 27, 2022)

DaveA said:


> Much to do about nothing IMHO.  My wife and I had interests that took us in different directions at times, back in the 70's-80's.  I traveled with a friend's sprint car team and spent many long week-ends on the road throughout the northeast states. Our son used to accompany us when not on his Air Guard duties.
> 
> On the other hand, my wife was active in the costuming end of local theater groups and used to take trips to New York to some of the costume houses to arrange for costume rentals.  She also worked with a few of the traveling summer stock theater groups in our area.
> 
> ...


Not sure you read the original post. Taking separate vacations to pursue different interests is different than agreeing to take separate vacations so that you can mess around with a different woman and your wife can mess around with another man. Unless that's what you really meant.


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## Tish (Sep 27, 2022)

Well, that's new, a license to cheat.


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## Nathan (Sep 27, 2022)

SandyR said:


> 5 minute podcast with a new twist on marriage.  Don't think it would fly with me, but to each his own...


So, what was your interest in a topic like this?   Particularly since it wouldn't 'fly'.....

I sense an invitation for [yet another] man bashing session here.


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## Been There (Sep 28, 2022)

I have often wished I had a partner to vacation with. I tried going on an escorted trip, didn’t really care for it. I felt like a third wheel. If I travel with another male, people look at us like we are gay and they stare. What’s that all about? I did take a female along on a trip to Austria, Switzerland and Germany that my travel agent planned. Much to my surprise, she was fine with sharing a hotel room, as long as it had two beds. We both agreed that it was a great time. I should have married her. I don’t know what stopped me. She passed away on 7/5 and it was unexpected to me. I’m still trying to move on from her death. I have great memories of her and I together. Her sister told me to only think about the good times, but when I do that, it makes me sadder.


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## Alligatorob (Sep 28, 2022)

NorthernLight said:


> Some people take a vacation from the marriage by mistake. They split up and then get back together -- sometimes years later. Perhaps to some people, doing it deliberately seems less messy.


You make a good point.  In defense of the idea I think it works for some, and for those why not?  No one has to do it.

We have polygamy here in Utah, more than most western places anyway.  It is more commonly practiced in Muslim countries.  And there are people in polyamorous relationships.  I am sure those work for some as well, so why not?


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## SandyR (Sep 28, 2022)

Nathan said:


> So, what was your interest in a topic like this?   Particularly since it wouldn't 'fly'.....
> 
> I sense an invitation for [yet another] man bashing session here.


I enjoy other people’s opinions on these topics.  What can I say?


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## DaveA (Sep 28, 2022)

Devi said:


> Not sure you read the original post. Taking separate vacations to pursue different interests is different than agreeing to take separate vacations so that you can mess around with a different woman and your wife can mess around with another man. Unless that's what you really meant


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## Nathan (Sep 28, 2022)

SandyR said:


> I enjoy other people’s opinions on these topics.  What can I say?


Fair enough.   
OK, so my wife and I have different interests, this coming Monday she is going to spend 3 days at a quilt retreat. No biggie, I'll stay home and take care of the dogs.     3 years ago I spent 3 days up north for a Taichi instructor training session, I invited her to accompany me, but she declined.       We rarely travel, when we do it's to visit family, and we go together.


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## SandyR (Sep 28, 2022)

Nathan said:


> Fair enough.
> OK, so my wife and I have different interests, this coming Monday she is going to spend 3 days at a quilt retreat. No biggie, I'll stay home and take care of the dogs.     3 years ago I spent 3 days up north for a Taichi instructor training session, I invited her to accompany me, but she declined.       We rarely travel, when we do it's to visit family, and we go together.


My late husband and I never took separate vacations.  This concept would not have worked for either one of us.


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## DaveA (Sep 29, 2022)

Devi said:


> Not sure you read the original post. Taking separate vacations to pursue different interests is different than agreeing to take separate vacations so that you can mess around with a different woman and your wife can mess around with another man. Unless that's what you really meant.


I must confess, I didn't listen to the clip, just read the title.  However, your comment about whether "that's what you really meant" was unnecessary and insulting.  Did you really read my post and find something unsavory about it?  Your comment sounds like it's based on your personal life experiences rather than ours.

For what it's worth, we've been together for 69 years, happily married for 66 with a large and close family.  Maybe in some folk's world they have to spend a lifetime never letting their partner out of their site?  I have sympathy for relationships that are built on a lack of trust and constant suspicion. "but to each his own".


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## Devi (Sep 29, 2022)

DaveA said:


> I must confess, I didn't listen to the clip, just read the title.  However, your comment about whether "that's what you really meant" was unnecessary and insulting.  Did you really read my post and find something unsavory about it?  Your comment sounds like it's based on your personal life experiences rather than ours.
> 
> For what it's worth, we've been together for 69 years, happily married for 66 with a large and close family.  Maybe in some folk's world they have to spend a lifetime never letting their partner out of their site?  I have sympathy for relationships that are built on a lack of trust and constant suspicion. "but to each his own".


Hi, @DaveA. My apologies; I did not in any way mean to insult you. I just thought that what you'd said ("Much to do about nothing IMHO") did not follow what the original post was about, but I was not sure about what you said.

In fact, what I said was "Not sure you read the original post. Taking separate vacations to pursue different interests is different than agreeing to take separate vacations so that you can mess around with a different woman and your wife can mess around with another man. Unless that's what you really meant."

But it was based on what you said (wrote).


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## Brookswood (Oct 2, 2022)

SandyR said:


>


Can you tell us what this is about?


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## squatting dog (Oct 21, 2022)

Maybe it's just me and the wife, but, can't even imagine separate vacation's for the chance to "step out".


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## grahamg (Oct 21, 2022)

Nathan said:


> So, what was your interest in a topic like this?   Particularly since it wouldn't 'fly'.....
> I sense an invitation for [yet another] man bashing session here.


"I'm sure that never happens"!!!!!!


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## dseag2 (Oct 21, 2022)

I haven't taken a vacation from marriage.  I have taken a vacation from everyday life.  

My hubby spent 5 years not working while I worked my a** off to keep up our household.  (I actually encouraged him to quit the rat race at 50 and reinvent himself.)  When I retired in 2020, he went back to work at a non-profit organization in a job that he finds fulfilling.  

I always prefer that we travel together, but if he doesn't have enough vacation time I travel solo.  I took a cruise to the Caribbean by myself in March and thoroughly enjoyed it.  I would travel solo more often if it weren't for the cost involved.


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