# Advice to other Grandparents raising their grandchildren's children



## hh132648 (Jun 21, 2012)

My oldest daughter Janie was always hard to tame. She had her first child at 15. Janie wasn't ready to be a mom, and I was only thirty, so we agreed I would raise her daughter, Mariahiana, as my own. Janie went onto college and had other children and has provided quite well for herself. Well now Mariahiana is 22 and just had a little boy named Nikkolai. Mari is only in her second year of college, the father isn't involved, and I feel like I'm raising Nikkolai the same way I raised Mari!

I love being a mother, but I'm almost 70 years old now! Granted, I'm a young 68 , but I still have my days where taking care of a baby is hard. What I keep reminding myself of is how much I'm loved by these three generations and how lucky I am to have played such a huge part in their lives. When I'm gone in the next 30 years, I'll be warmly remembered by these children.

By taking care of Mariahiana for Janie I allowed Janie to amture into her full potential and she is now very successful. Mariahiana grew up to be a beautiful, caring, young woman with determination and ambitions. By helping Mari raise Nikkoli, I'll be helping Mari achieve her dreams so that she can provide for herself and her future children after I'm gone. So my advice is, just deal with it. Children are a blessing no matter where or how they get here.


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## KokosMomMom (Jul 16, 2012)

The girls in your life are very lucky to have you and I hope they realize that.  I have a question though, you say you raised Mari as your own so does Mari know that you are her grandmother or does she think you are her mother? Does Nikkolai (they both have beautiful names btw) know that Janie is actually her grandmother? And finally does Janie help in raising Nikkoli? It's not that I am trying to pry, but it just seems like Janie would give you some help now that she has matured and reached her potential as you had intended.


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## R. Zimm (Jan 1, 2013)

Those sort of situations are always less than ideal but you make of them what you can. There is no reason to view your family as a reason that all of you cannot be happy and productive. When we look at history, many famous people came out of intensely hard situations and changed the World. You folks can too!


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## Dorothy (Jan 2, 2013)

hh132648 said:


> My oldest daughter Janie was always hard to tame. She had her first child at 15. Janie wasn't ready to be a mom, and I was only thirty, so we agreed I would raise her daughter, Mariahiana, as my own. Janie went onto college and had other children and has provided quite well for herself. Well now Mariahiana is 22 and just had a little boy named Nikkolai. Mari is only in her second year of college, the father isn't involved, and I feel like I'm raising Nikkolai the same way I raised Mari!
> 
> I love being a mother, but I'm almost 70 years old now! Granted, I'm a young 68 , but I still have my days where taking care of a baby is hard. What I keep reminding myself of is how much I'm loved by these three generations and how lucky I am to have played such a huge part in their lives. When I'm gone in the next 30 years, I'll be warmly remembered by these children.
> 
> By taking care of Mariahiana for Janie I allowed Janie to amture into her full potential and she is now very successful. Mariahiana grew up to be a beautiful, caring, young woman with determination and ambitions. By helping Mari raise Nikkoli, I'll be helping Mari achieve her dreams so that she can provide for herself and her future children after I'm gone. So my advice is, just deal with it. Children are a blessing no matter where or how they get here.


You are a wonderful person and they are so very lucky to have you in their lives, and you are right children are a blessing regardless of the situations. You do what you feel is right in your heart. I do the same with mine. I helped raise my siblings then my own and it just comes naturally to care for family and you such a good example of the  unconditional love of a mother and grandmother..God Bless You.


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