# Diagnosed with Cancer



## imp (Jan 6, 2016)

What do you feel one's reaction ought to be when diagnosed with cancer?

The various magazine articles I have read dig into the superficial. 

These give advice, offer ways to understand, reconcile, re-sort life, prepare loved ones, etc.

I see no recommendations telling the diagnosed what to do.

Ideas?   imp


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## QuickSilver (Jan 7, 2016)

Well... the first thing they do is to gather all the information they can about the disease and how to fight it...  At least that's what hubby and I did last July when he got the diagnosis.


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## Don M. (Jan 7, 2016)

One of our daughters was diagnosed with Breast Cancer...Twice.  The first time, she went through Hell with radiation and chemo treatments.  The 2nd time, she endured the necessary surgeries to remove the affected parts, and better insure that there would be no more repeats.  Following her experiences, our other daughter, and the granddaughters all went through thorough exams, and found that they were all genetically disposed to similar problems.  As a result, they have all undergone the necessary surgeries to hopefully prevent troubles in the future.


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## Mrs. Robinson (Jan 7, 2016)

QuickSilver said:


> Well... the first thing they do is to gather all the information they can about the disease and how to fight it...  At least that's what hubby and I did last July when he got the diagnosis.



That`s funny,because that is exactly what I have always done with any sort of illness or "condition" in my family,friends or self. But with my own breast cancer diagnosis,I have just gone along with whatever treatment my doctors have suggested and done very little research on my own-very,very unlike me. I am still very much living on Denial Island. I would never have expected this from myself-it`s weird. I rarely even ask any questions. Maybe because it was caught so early,I don`t feel there were many options on how to treat it. All they gave me was 1) Lumpectomy followed by radiation or 2) Mastectomy,no radiation necessary. I chose #1. I have 7 more treatments left-next Friday I am DONE-YAY!


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## Karen99 (Jan 7, 2016)

Mrs. Robinson said:


> That`s funny,because that is exactly what I have always done with any sort of illness or "condition" in my family,friends or self. But with my own breast cancer diagnosis,I have just gone along with whatever treatment my doctors have suggested and done very little research on my own-very,very unlike me. I am still very much living on Denial Island. I would never have expected this from myself-it`s weird. I rarely even ask any questions. Maybe because it was caught so early,I don`t feel there were many options on how to treat it. All they gave me was 1) Lumpectomy followed by radiation or 2) Mastectomy,no radiation necessary. I chose #1. I have 7 more treatments left-next Friday I am DONE-YAY!



Hugs to you, Mrs. Robinson.  You're dealing with it.  I know it's fine to research and all that..but you've made your decision and doing the best you can.  Don't beat yourself up. :love_heart:


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## Lon (Jan 7, 2016)

I have been diagnosed during the past 25 years with three separate kinds of cancer. Basal Cell Skin Cancers, Prostate Cancer, Non Hodgkins Lymphoma (Waldenstrom's Disease). The first thing I did in each case was to set out and learn all I could about the disease and who was the best physician available to me that was expert in treating that particular disease.I then discussed the various treatment options with the doctor. I also joined online support groups for each condition and found it invaluable in getting perspective on treatment options.Complete removal of my Prostate Gland took care of that problem, The Waldenstrom's Disease has been in remission since initial treatment and the Basal Cells are surgically removed once diagnosed. This is a on going thing and just yesterday I had another one removed from my nose. I have been fortunate. Life is good.


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## QuickSilver (Jan 7, 2016)

This is how hubby and I handle his prostate cancer diagnosis... our first reaction was  "TAKE IT OUT"  GET IT OUT"    however I found some very helpful information on a "Prostate cancer for women" site.. it's wives of men with the diagnosis.   They gave me some very good information and lot's of reading material.. this is how we decided on "active surveillance"  for now... and our doctor is comfortable with it.. We are confident in him and know that the minute more aggressive action is needed we will be advised.


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## fureverywhere (Jan 7, 2016)

It's uplifting to read stories about people surviving it. I can't imagine getting that diagnosis. My Dad used to be a sun worshipper, always had a deep dark tan from yard work. Now he's had multiple skin cancers removed. My Mom had uterine cancer and survived, but her health declined soon after. Saddest was my sister in law. I don't think she was even thirty when she passed from a brain tumor. That was in the late 80's and people still were uncomfortable talking about it. 

Isn't it interesting how our culture has changed? Now they have humorous greeting cards to the effect of " You're my best friend and we're going to fight this together!". It's wonderful that it's out in the open now. Oh and my SIL smoked weed to cope with the chemo and radiation side effects. Now you can get a prescription in some states. When my aunt had breast cancer in the early 60's it was really bad. She didn't talk about it and she didn't want anyone to know. That must have been so hard going it alone like that.


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## imp (Jan 7, 2016)

Mrs. Robinson said:


> . All they gave me was 1) Lumpectomy followed by radiation or 2) Mastectomy,no radiation necessary. *I chose #1*. I have 7 more treatments left-next Friday I am DONE-YAY!



Would I be too inquiring to ask if the radiation treatments have been an ordeal? Admittedly, none of my business.   imp


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## imp (Jan 7, 2016)

*Times have Definitely Changed*

*"She didn't talk about it and she didn't want anyone to know. That must have been so hard going it alone like that."

*Yes, it really was like that back then. Fear prevailed and overshadowed logical thinking, maybe. How very alone such folks must have felt, just as you say!   imp


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## Butterfly (Jan 7, 2016)

imp said:


> Would I be too inquiring to ask if the radiation treatments have been an ordeal? Admittedly, none of my business.   imp



For my niece (who died of colon cancer in 2015 at 40) the radiation treatments were a terrible ordeal (well, not exactly the treatments, themselves, but the aftermath -- what they caused).

Her last round of radiation was a "palliative" round, supposed to try and get the tumor to get a little smaller so it wasn't pressing so hard on other organs and spreading so fast.  It didn't work, and she suffered painful radiation burns.


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## Butterfly (Jan 7, 2016)

When my niece was diagnosed, she was already terminally ill, as the cancer had already spread everywhere.  Her whole world collapsed pretty quickly, lost her job, her medical coverage, her dignity, her home and her car.  She was devastated.

She handled an indescribably awful situation about as well as anyone could have, I believe.  I  don't think she truly believed she was going to die, though, until the final month or so. She kept hanging on to hope that something HAD to work, even though the docs told her there was very little chance.  The day she finally accepted it, I was with her at the oncologist when the doctor told her there was simply nothing more that medicine could offer.  I will never forget how she looked when that information really hit her in the face -- the light went out in her eyes and she suddenly became a dying old woman.


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## Shalimar (Jan 7, 2016)

It is indescribably painful to watch people you love in that situation. Dying is inevitable, but we all have the right to do so with dignity, peacefully, and without pain. I am so grateful for assisted suicide.


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## fureverywhere (Jan 7, 2016)

I agree Shalimar, my sister in law probably would have opted for that eventually. They operated once and she went through the chemo and radiation. I think they've improved on managing side effects a bit now. But she had every side effect there was and then some. From being a pretty vibrant twentysomething to being bald and bloated from treatments. It seemed like as soon as she recovered from one session it was time for another. Then after going through all that the tumor came back as inoperable. I think at that point she would have said it was time to go already. But assisted suicide wasn't an option then unless somebody pulled out your respirator plug.


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## imp (Jan 7, 2016)

These stories illuminate the need for leaving this world when it is absolutely necessary, through suicide, assisted or not, a heart-rending consideration nonetheless needed to allow a dignified exit without extending pain and suffering unnecessarily long.   imp


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## fureverywhere (Jan 7, 2016)

Really if my girl and pup were taken care of I would check out with hubby...


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## Butterfly (Jan 8, 2016)

Assisted suicide isn't yet an option here -- it is still wending its way through the courts.  I sincerely hope it becomes available.  My niece chose to continue treatment long after there ceased to be any realistic hope at all -- those final treatments only succeeded in prolonging her dying.  In her last months she had no quality of life at all, and a lot of pain and really nasty side effects that could not be well controlled.  I lost count of how many trips we made to the emergency room.  I would have thrown in the towel long before.

My mother decided to cease chemotherapy as soon as she knew the cancer in her gallbladder (rare, they said) had spread to her liver and was terminal.  She said she did not want to spend her last months vomiting and with uncontrollable diarrhea.  She opted for palliative treatment and actually felt fairly well (her assessment) up until about her last two or three weeks.  We were able to go shopping (with her in a wheelchair), which she enjoyed, go to church and other things she wanted to do.  Her last days were kept comfortable with the aid of morphine and other pain and palliative medications.  She was able to die here at home, as she wished.


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## deesierra (Jan 8, 2016)

If I were diagnosed with a terminal cancer, or a cancer that required radical surgeries and chemo and still not good odds of recovery, I think I would opt for quality of life for whatever time I might have left, rather than quantity, and decline treatment. That's what I say now, of course God forbid I am ever faced with that decision, I might feel differently. My first priority in any case would be to make sure my fur kids were taken care of for the rest of their lives.


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## Butterfly (Jan 20, 2016)

deesierra said:


> If I were diagnosed with a terminal cancer, or a cancer that required radical surgeries and chemo and still not good odds of recovery, I think I would opt for quality of life for whatever time I might have left, rather than quantity, and decline treatment. That's what I say now, of course God forbid I am ever faced with that decision, I might feel differently. My first priority in any case would be to make sure my fur kids were taken care of for the rest of their lives.



I agree with you.  After seeing what my niece went through with the treatments and surgeries, I'm not sure I just wouldn't opt for palliative therapies right off the bat, especially if there was very little chance of recovery, anyway.  My niece did everything they offered her, and it was awful and only got worse and worse.  A lot of what she suffered was from the various treatments.  

I hope to God I'm never faced with that decision.

I'd arrange for my doggie to be taken care of, too.


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## Debby (Jan 20, 2016)

Like deesierra and Butterfly, I'd chose to just get on with living until it was time to go.  I can't see the point of extending things if I was going to be sick and feeling wretched every one of those last days.


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## jujube (Jan 20, 2016)

My daughter has been through two rounds of breast cancer.  They have caught it in time in both instances, but on the advice of her doctors, she plans to have a double mastectomy with reconstruction.  She doesn't want to gamble that they won't catch it in time _next_ time.


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## Mrs. Robinson (Jan 20, 2016)

imp said:


> Would I be too inquiring to ask if the radiation treatments have been an ordeal? Admittedly, none of my business.   imp



Sorry Imp-just now seeing this. Finished radiation last Friday and the worst part was the drive back and forth every day. Two hours out of your day,every single weekday,gets old. I had some fatigue-really wanted a nap every day but rarely got the chance. Now the past few days,I have been really,really tired and thought it was catching up,but checked my blood pressure last night and it was 112/53 so that is more likely the problem. Don`t know what`s up with that...


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## Mrs. Robinson (Jan 20, 2016)

Oh,I did forget to mention the burns. I was actually fairly lucky-being blonde and fair skinned,I was afraid I might burn badly. But I do fairly well in the sun so I was hopeful. I did have a couple of areas that burned worse than others and am having a bit of peeling now,but really not bad. They never had to postpone any treatments because of burning so I was very happy about that. Just wanted to get it all over with.


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## Jackie22 (Jan 20, 2016)

My mother had breast cancer when she was in her late 80's, she has said that if it comes back she would not go through the treatments again.


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## Mrs. Robinson (Jan 20, 2016)

Don M. said:


> One of our daughters was diagnosed with Breast Cancer...Twice.  The first time, she went through Hell with radiation and chemo treatments.  The 2nd time, she endured the necessary surgeries to remove the affected parts, and better insure that there would be no more repeats.  Following her experiences, our other daughter, and the granddaughters all went through thorough exams, and found that they were all genetically disposed to similar problems.  As a result, they have all undergone the necessary surgeries to hopefully prevent troubles in the future.



This is what my husband wants me to do,should I have a recurrence. He is 100% behind me making my own decisions on any and all treatments but has let me know that this is what he would prefer I do. I am on the fence,as I do not test positive for the gene and have no family history of breast cancer. I think for me,it would be a matter of avoiding chemo by having surgery. If it would eliminate the need for chemo,I would be all for it. Otherwise,I`m just not sure.


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## Linda (Jan 20, 2016)

My mom also said if her cancer came back she would not go through the treatments.  I believe she died of heart trouble though.  Attack or a bad stroke.


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## FazeFour (Jan 20, 2016)

In reference to the right to die: when my pain management team asked me what I would do if, despite treatments, I was still experiencing the same level of pain 10 years from now, I said that I would seriously consider killing myself. Within half-an-hour I was talking to two doctors in the psych department, and walked out of there with prescriptions for enough anti-depressant medication to kill myself three times!! I laughed all the way home. (I didn't even fill the Rxs).


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## Shalimar (Jan 20, 2016)

Faze, they just don't get it do they?


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## jujube (Jan 20, 2016)

Mrs. Robinson said:


> Oh,I did forget to mention the burns. I was actually fairly lucky-being blonde and fair skinned,I was afraid I might burn badly. But I do fairly well in the sun so I was hopeful. I did have a couple of areas that burned worse than others and am having a bit of peeling now,but really not bad. They never had to postpone any treatments because of burning so I was very happy about that. Just wanted to get it all over with.



My daughter didn't get much in the way of skin burns, but she did get a spot on her lung burned, leaving scar tissue.  Whenever she has a chest x-ray, she has to make sure they know not to get excited about that spot.


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## imp (Jan 20, 2016)

jujube said:


> My daughter didn't get much in the way of skin burns, but she did get a spot on her lung burned, leaving scar tissue.  Whenever she has a chest x-ray, she has to make sure they know not to get excited about that spot.



This is to say that, therapy to the breast(s) can cause lung (or other internal) damage. There IS rhyme and reason behind my vivid interest in these things, but I don't want to make it seem like it's a "morbid" one; the need to know and understand is one all prospective patients facing such treatment ought to have full knowledge of, IMO.   imp


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## FazeFour (Jan 20, 2016)

Shalimar said:


> Faze, they just don't get it do they?



I'm just glad that when they asked "What if you're still in this pain kind of pain in 10 years" I didn't say "Just shoot me now." 

On the serious side, I'll probably never be able to buy another gun, and would definitely have a problem getting the kind of job I've been trained for. Luckily, I have enough guns and I am too disabled to work, otherwise I'd have raised such a stink. 

I'm not suicidal. I'm not even depressed...really bummed out some days, but not clinically depressed. I was thinking logically. I was being practical, not mental. That said, I'll know what to do if the day comes when I do want to say my last Nighty-Night.


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## Butterfly (Jan 20, 2016)

Shalimar said:


> Faze, they just don't get it do they?



No, they don't.  I don't think anybody much gets it, unless they've come up against it themselves or with someone in their family.  One of the things I came to hate while my niece was dying is the idea that you must "fight" till the end.  The idea that you are "fighting" implies that you have a chance to "win" and that if you lose you didn't "fight" hard enough.  And with cancer you don't always have a chance to win -- she didn't.  When people would tell her to "keep fighting," I had to seriously resist the urge to punch them in the nose.  "Keep fighting?"  Yeah, right, against something that has already ravaged your organs and you've had so much radiation that you've got burns on top of what the cancer has done?  Yeah -- keep fighting so you can have a few more days of intractable agony, indignity, vomiting and uncontrollable diarrhea, struggling for every breath??  That's not life.


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## Butterfly (Jan 20, 2016)

FazeFour said:


> I'm just glad that when they asked "What if you're still in this pain kind of pain in 10 years" I didn't say "Just shoot me now."
> 
> On the serious side, I'll probably never be able to buy another gun, and would definitely have a problem getting the kind of job I've been trained for. Luckily, I have enough guns and I am too disabled to work, otherwise I'd have raised such a stink.
> 
> I'm not suicidal. I'm not even depressed...really bummed out some days, but not clinically depressed. I was thinking logically. I was being practical, not mental. That said, I'll know what to do if the day comes when I do want to say my last Nighty-Night.



Faze, I will, too.


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## deesierra (Jan 21, 2016)

imp said:


> This is to say that, therapy to the breast(s) can cause lung (or other internal) damage. There IS rhyme and reason behind my vivid interest in these things, but I don't want to make it seem like it's a "morbid" one; the need to know and understand is one all prospective patients facing such treatment ought to have full knowledge of, IMO.   imp



Indeed, imp, knowledge is power. And those stricken with that "C" word need to take advantage of all the power available to them!


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## FazeFour (Jan 21, 2016)

Butterfly said:


> No, they don't.  I don't think anybody much gets it, unless they've come up against it themselves or with someone in their family.  One of the things I came to hate while my niece was dying is the idea that you must "fight" till the end.  The idea that you are "fighting" implies that you have a chance to "win" and that if you lose you didn't "fight" hard enough.  And with cancer you don't always have a chance to win -- she didn't.  When people would tell her to "keep fighting," I had to seriously resist the urge to punch them in the nose.  "Keep fighting?"  Yeah, right, against something that has already ravaged your organs and you've had so much radiation that you've got burns on top of what the cancer has done?  Yeah -- keep fighting so you can have a few more days of intractable agony, indignity, vomiting and uncontrollable diarrhea, struggling for every breath??  That's not life.



There was some chatting earlier about why some people keep their diagnosis to themselves. In my opinion, THIS is why. They don't want to be captive to a lot of fussing, and they don't want to hear their friends and family say unintentionally stupid stuff. And I don't think people who keep their cancer diagnosis to themselves feel alone, not in the lonely sense of the word. I think they just prefer to fight their battle their way.


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## imp (Jan 21, 2016)

To top it off, I personally know of several folks who received clinical diagnoses of malignancy, who refused to believe it, had no treatment, and went on to live acceptably long lives. Diagnoses can be wrong, sometimes. My respiratory troubles 10 years ago are a good example. Diagnoses: Childhood Asthma returned; COPD; Emphysema; Left Ventricle Wall Thickening, Aspergillosis (fungus infection).

Took over a year of struggling with it, and finally, gradually, all symptoms disappeared. No recurrence since. Breathe normally. "Great Respect" for diagnosticians.    imp


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## FazeFour (Jan 21, 2016)

Jeez, I remember a time when the patient was the last to know. Doctor would advise immediate family members and leave it up to them to inform the patient or not. I suppose the fear was that if the pt knew they had cancer, they'd consider themselves good as dead, but, golly...something that critical. That's as ridiculous as not telling a woman she's pregnant. She asks, "Why is my abdomen so incredibly swollen?!" and he says, "It's not because you're pregnant."


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## Linda (Jan 21, 2016)

That's funny "It's not because you're pregnant."   I would be so angry if I were ill and they tried to keep it from me.  Of course, none of my family would do that.  I do recall the days when cancer and other serious illnesses were kept secret in some families.  

One thing I have against about it being brought out in the open is, some people start to identify YOU with your disease and pretty soon, that's who you are.  Especially if you have a big family, lots of friends or say go to a church with 3 or 4 hundred people.  I'd rather be asked how my day is going, how my dogs are, have I painted anything lately, rather than "What is your latest treatment, what did the Dr say the last time you say him, are you hurting much today?


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## chic (Jan 22, 2016)

QuickSilver said:


> Well... the first thing they do is to gather all the information they can about the disease and how to fight it... At least that's what hubby and I did last July when he got the diagnosis.



Yes, and find out how *survivors* have survived. Have a group of friends and family who can be there for you at all times. 
Changing your lifestyle as much as possible so you can relax more and build wellness which takes time and focus can also help. Live in an oxygen rich environment.


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## chic (Jan 22, 2016)

FazeFour said:


> In reference to the right to die: when my pain management team asked me what I would do if, despite treatments, I was still experiencing the same level of pain 10 years from now, I said that I would seriously consider killing myself. Within half-an-hour I was talking to two doctors in the psych department, and walked out of there with prescriptions for enough anti-depressant medication to kill myself three times!! I laughed all the way home. (I didn't even fill the Rxs).



Faze, you can't kill yourself with antidepressants which is why doctors prescribe them. ( I had a family member who, when seriously ill and in terrible pain, tried to end it with antidepressants. All he got was very sick and his intentions outed so he couldn't try again - with pills.)


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## FazeFour (Jan 22, 2016)

chic said:


> Faze, you can't kill yourself with antidepressants which is why doctors prescribe them. ( I had a family member who, when seriously ill and in terrible pain, tried to end it with antidepressants. All he got was very sick and his intentions outed so he couldn't try again - with pills.)



Excerpt from a website called All About Counseling:

About 15 million Americans abuse prescription drugs, making them the leading cause of death from drug overdosing. Antidepressants fall into this prescription drug category.

Also, the Rxs I was given included 2 antidepressants, vicodin, and oxycontin. I filled only the vicodin (Norco) Rx as it works pretty well to relieve the pain I have. I also take a Rx Ibuprophen, 600mg, which helps me keep the Norco at a lower dose.


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## Shalimar (Jan 22, 2016)

You can kill yourself with Tylenol or codeine if you take enough.


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## Butterfly (Jan 22, 2016)

FazeFour said:


> Excerpt from a website called All About Counseling:
> 
> About 15 million Americans abuse prescription drugs, making them the leading cause of death from drug overdosing. Antidepressants fall into this prescription drug category.
> 
> Also, the Rxs I was given included 2 antidepressants, vicodin, and oxycontin. I filled only the vicodin (Norco) Rx as it works pretty well to relieve the pain I have. I also take a Rx Ibuprophen, 600mg, which helps me keep the Norco at a lower dose.



I'd fill the oxy, too, and stockpile it for that rainy day.


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## tnthomas (Jan 22, 2016)

Since we've been together my wife has had 3 separate cancers(in 15 years); of course it's always an emotional shock, but we just hunker down and follow through the treatment, and do what needs doing.    She is growing her hair back her heair back right now, it's about 1-1/2" and a bit unruly....


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## chic (Jan 23, 2016)

Shalimar said:


> You can kill yourself with Tylenol or codeine if you take enough.



That's true, but on the other hand you might not. Suicide by overdose without the help of barbiturates (or physician assist) can be a tricky thing. Chugaluging alcohol is more likely to kill you by sending your blood alcohol level soaring.


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## imp (Jan 23, 2016)

Wellll,.....None 'a you guys has offered me an easy way "out", don't particularly like the drugs idea, alcohol often manages to barf itself back out when too much is quickly swallowed. Guess I just have to stick it out awhile yet!    imp


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## applecruncher (Jan 23, 2016)

imp said:


> *What do you feel one's reaction ought to be when diagnosed with cancer?
> 
> *The various magazine articles I have read dig into the superficial.
> 
> ...



Strange question.  I don't see where it's anyone else's place to say how someone else "ought to" (or should) react when told they have cancer.


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## imp (Jan 23, 2016)

applecruncher said:


> Strange question.  I don't see where it's anyone else's place to say how someone else "ought to" (or should) react when told they have cancer.



*"What do you feel one's reaction ought to be when diagnosed with cancer?"

*I truly hope your statement is made out of failure to understand the original question, rather than to provoke, and invoke yet another criticism even though the meaning was clear:

We're asking about YOU when diagnosed, not someone else. How WE react to others' diagnoses have no basis for consideration in the premise of the OP.  imp


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## Ina (Jan 23, 2016)

Hi Imp, I think how you deal with cancer has a lot to do with what you are facing in your life.  Is it advanced, or has is just started. I had cancer at the ages of 19, (1970), and 26, (1976).  At 19, my husband was working out of state, and I had 5 and 3 y/o boys at home. Plus I think it is hard to believe you are going to die at 19, and doctor's had been saying I was going to die from my heart and seizure since I was seven. I knew I had to fight for my boys, I was afraid of where they might end up.  I had ovary cancer, surgery, and radiation. Except for the radiation burns ,it felt like science fiction.

I did well for some time, and then at 26, the cancer was back. This time it was uterine cancer, and I still had my boys, then 12 and 10 y/o, and I was still afraid of what would happen to them, and again my husband was out of the picture.  I went through the chemo treatments, as well as having all the side effect. This time they gave me the five year post operation speech about the five year rule of survival. 

But it was worth it, and I have to say that being the only care giver to my sons helped pull me through, as well as the doctors.

The most effective thing is to get diagnosed as early as possible. Cancer runs in my family, and all the women have had the same surgery by the age of 28, so I was tested every year for it.


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## applecruncher (Jan 23, 2016)

imp said:


> *"What do you feel one's reaction ought to be when diagnosed with cancer?"
> 
> *I truly hope your statement is made out of failure to understand the original question, rather than to provoke, and invoke yet another criticism even though the meaning was clear:
> 
> We're asking about YOU when diagnosed, not someone else. How WE react to others' diagnoses have no basis for consideration in the premise of the OP. imp



Then that’s even worse and more strange. Be nice if YOU would word your question appropriately.

All that aside, fortunately, I’ve never been diagnosed with cancer. Of course I’ve lost friends, relatives and co-workers to cancer. Some have been treated and continue to survive.)

I have no idea how I would or should react to such a diagnosis, and I hope I never find out.


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## imp (Jan 23, 2016)

*"Be nice if YOU would word your question appropriately."

*AC, It is not possible to word my question more "appropriately".....appropriate in relation to what? The question stands, but I wonder if anyone else does not understand it? It has one and only one meaning.   imp

*"What do you feel one's reaction ought to be when diagnosed with cancer?"*


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## Butterfly (Jan 23, 2016)

For me, it would all depend on the type, location and stage of the cancer.


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## Loosey (Jan 24, 2016)

I can't say how one ought to react, but I can relate my own experience as 2 months shy of 5 years post-diagnosis with stage 3-c grade 2 endometrial adenocarcinoma.

I didn't do a lot of research on the disease because Dr. Google's statistics scared me.  I did do a fair amount of research on doctors, and surrounded myself with doctors I like, trust, and believe in, and who seem to like, trust, and believe in me.  I talked with doctors a lot.  Fired two who wouldn't take responsibility for screwing up.  Once I had all the right doctors I did what they told me to do, which included surgery, chemotherapy, radiation - including internal radiation which as I remember is called brachytherapy, and more chemotherapy.

It wasn't a great year, but none of it was all that bad, and I would do it again with the same doctors.

I told only close family members and co-workers.  I didn't like to talk about it, and kept conversations short  except with doctors.

The worst part of losing my hair was that it's like wearing a sign that says "I have cancer."  I didn't want anyone's pity.  My hair came back in white at age 58, and when it got about an inch long I had it dyed fuschia as a public declaration of "don't pity me."  The fuschia didn't last long, nor did the white hair.  It's grey and brown as ever now.

You know it really, really rankles me when people imply that surviving cancer is all about attitude.  That's BS, and is also victim blaming.  I have known people with magnificent attitudes who have died and people with lousy attitudes who have survived.  I lay my survival to my doctors and to blind luck.

In a nutshell, then, I guess my take on how best to react is to surround yourself with doctors you trust, then do as you're told.  My heart is with everyone facing the disgnosis.  It's certainly draws you up short.


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## imp (Jan 24, 2016)

*A Wonderful Outcome!*

Loosey, how good of you to share. Descriptive as necessary to provide help to others seeking or needing it. One important fact seems to stand out: you chose your doctors based on your research, their attitude, and their experience. Most fortunate to be able to do just that. I am not "up" on the medical health program in UK, and, assuming you were there when your experience took place, it is refreshing to hear such flexibility in medical providers was available to you.

We here under Medicare and Supplemental Coverage do not have that option readily available. One's Principal Care Provider (doctor) must be chosen from a list provided by the Insuror, this applying even to Specialists. Such option goes by County; ours is sparsely populated, having all too few participating doctors. We learned that "participating providers" means doctors who accept deals with the Insuror involved, that is, are willing to accept payment negotiated as to final amount, after services rendered are billed by the doctor. This fact seems contributory to the relatively low-class of practitioners who predominate the area: Great doctors accept nothing less than full payment, and likely deserve every penny. Our doctor back in Missouri told us he "nearly flunked" Chemistry in college, not the best advertisement of ability, IMO. But, he was a dedicated man, capable of handling the bulk of patients he saw.   imp


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## Toni (Mar 14, 2017)

Absolute inspiration to me. My husband is in is early 50s and facing a possible prostate ca diagnosis at present. He is anxious as we walk it out. I have had one basal cell removed already (right on my lower eyelid, ugh).


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## Loosey (Mar 15, 2017)

Toni said:


> Absolute inspiration to me. My husband is in is early 50s and facing a possible prostate ca diagnosis at present. He is anxious as we walk it out. I have had one basal cell removed already (right on my lower eyelid, ugh).


My heart goes out to both of you.  "You have cancer" are among the scariest words to hear.

One foot in front of the other.  You can deal with it together, whatever it is.

Best wishes!


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## Toni (Mar 15, 2017)

Loosey said:


> My heart goes out to both of you.  "You have cancer" are among the scariest words to hear.
> 
> One foot in front of the other.  You can deal with it together, whatever it is.
> 
> Best wishes!


Thank you so much. Your words have encouraged me, this morning, as I'm trying to process this trial.


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## nvtribefan (Mar 15, 2017)

My father, both of my brothers, and my husband have all had prostate cancer, and all of them are now cancer-free.  There are many successful treatments available.


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## Toni (Mar 15, 2017)

nvtribefan said:


> My father, both of my brothers, and my husband have all had prostate cancer, and all of them are now cancer-free.  There are many successful treatments available.


 Thank you so much for sharing this. I know every person's experience will be different, but it sure does help to hear of positive outcomes. Hope is a powerful thing. <3


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