# The Mission: Borrowing A Cup Of Sugar  - Ever Done That?



## Meanderer (Aug 17, 2014)

The mission: Borrowing sugar from your scary urban neighbours is even more frightening if they agree. By Maggie O'Farrell *(Oct, 1998)*

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-s...if-they-agree-by-maggie-ofarrell-1177182.html

Cautionary note: I would only add you should be very careful who you open the door for! http://www.snopes.com/crime/prevent/doorpound.asp


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## hollydolly (Aug 17, 2014)

LOL, I don't think I be,lieve that tale... in the area to which  the author describes she lives, I'd be absolutely stunned if there was any much less 3 one after the other English speaking neighbours!! It's almost entirely non English speaking immigrants!


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## Meanderer (Aug 17, 2014)

hollydolly said:


> LOL, I don't think I be,lieve that tale... in the area to which  the author describes she lives, I'd be absolutely stunned if there was any much less 3 one after the other English speaking neighbours!! It's almost entirely non English speaking immigrants!


I must apologize HD, the date on that article is October *1998!  *Sorry - I missed that.   Just think of it as a trip in the "Way back" machine!


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## Twixie (Aug 17, 2014)

hollydolly said:


> LOL, I don't think I be,lieve that tale... in the area to which  the author describes she lives, I'd be absolutely stunned if there was any much less 3 one after the other English speaking neighbours!! It's almost entirely non English speaking immigrants!



She's right..the last time I was in London..I had to ask the way to..

I gave up after asking the ninth person..There weren't any English speakers..


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## Meanderer (Aug 17, 2014)

A very funny 16 year old account, but has anyone ever borrowed a cuppa lately?


The History of Asking Your Neighbors for a Cup of Sugar
by Lara Rabinovitch





Borrowing from neighbors was once a commonplace practice, part of the web of relations we once had with those who lived within close range. 
Until the industrial revolution brought affordable modern technology—with it quick transportation and eventually the gleaming grocery store—acquiring kitchen supplies was a less frequent affair. In ancient times, hunting, gathering, and foraging were communal practices. And it wasn't long ago that many cultures, especially rural ones, still relied on weekly markets, traveling salesmen, and the growing of their own goods. But living in relative isolation also meant more contact with your neighbors because one of them probably provided your weekly dairy needs and another milled wheat for flour or grew pears you exchanged for apples. 

Advances in technology, while convenient, have erased many food-based reasons for interaction with our neighbors. In fact, in pre-modern Europe, food and cooking brought neighbors together quite intimately by necessity; many homes had no ovens or only small hearths that were not big enough for bread baking and simultaneous cooking. (If you think having four stovetop burners, a microwave, a toaster, and an oven isn't a luxury, imagine just one heat source for all your cooking—and bathing—needs). Many communities relied on communal ovens and neighbors regularly left their breads or stews to cook over several hours or even overnight. Traces of this practice still exist in North Africa, Latin America, Europe, and elsewhere. 

The early rise of cities meant easier access to supplies, but neighbors lived in such close quarters—think tenement buildings or row houses—that there was a constant exchange of goods and services across the yard or through criss-crossing streets. Before the rise of the big box store era, knocking on a door and asking for that extra cup of sugar or dolling out surplus tomatoes from an abundant yard garden were part of the rhythms of life. 

Was this all idyllic? Did neighbors always readily share their supplies, generously give up their remaining dabs of butter, or leave room for a neighbor's occasional extra loaf in the communal oven? Obviously not. With the design of our sprawling cities and our reliance on modern technology and industry in so many parts of the world today, most of us no longer need to interact with our neighbors to source ingredients or cook our food, but this social distance is only a recent phenomenon in human history.


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## Aunt Marg (May 31, 2021)

I remember so well my younger childhood, darting across the lane, the street, or next door with a measuring cup in hand, looking to borrow a cup of sugar, some milk, maybe some spice, and then as soon as payday came around, my mom would replenish her supplies and send me back over to whomevers house again to payback when she borrowed.

Same happened at our house, I remember the same neighbours calling over to ask if mom had this, or if she had that, and upon a yes, there they'd be at our door.

Sometimes they stay for a cup of coffee and short visit with mom, other times they vamoosed as fast as they showed up.

Gosh, such warm memories.


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## Meanderer (May 31, 2021)




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## Meanderer (May 31, 2021)




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## Keesha (May 31, 2021)

Aunt Marg said:


> I remember so well my younger childhood, darting across the lane, the street, or next door with a measuring cup in hand, looking to borrow a cup of sugar, some milk, maybe some spice, and then as soon as payday came around, my mom would replenish her supplies and send me back over to whomevers house again to payback when she borrowed.
> 
> Same happened at our house, I remember the same neighbours calling over to ask if mom had this, or if she had that, and upon a yes, there they'd be at our door.
> 
> ...


I knew you’d be the one starting this thread back up and sure enough it is. 
The way you talk about the relationship with your mom is so touching.


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## Aunt Marg (May 31, 2021)

Keesha said:


> I knew you’d be the one starting this thread back up and sure enough it is.
> The way you talk about the relationship with your mom is so touching.


I miss my mom so much, I find topics like this help put a smile on my face and remind me how lucky I was to have the mom that I did.


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## Keesha (May 31, 2021)

Aunt Marg said:


> I miss my mom so much, I find topics like this help put a smile on my face and remind me how lucky I was to have the mom that I did.


That’s a good attitude to have. You were very lucky to have the mom you did. 
I like seeing topics like this cause there are so many depressing subjects that these ones feel so uplifting in comparison , making these simple  joys, priceless.


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## Aunt Marg (May 31, 2021)

Keesha said:


> That’s a good attitude to have. You were very lucky to have the mom you did.
> I like seeing topics like this cause there are so many depressing subjects that these ones feel so uplifting in comparison , making these simple  joys, priceless.


Awww... thank you so kindly for your warm words, Keesha. 

I agree, a little fun and love goes a long ways today.


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## Keesha (May 31, 2021)

I can’t recall us ever asking for a cup of sugar but my mom didn’t bake very much anyway.  When she did bake, it really was something special. I loved having alone time with my mom whenever she baked.
 It was  real special.


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## Aunt Marg (May 31, 2021)

Keesha said:


> I can’t recall us ever asking for a cup of sugar but my mom didn’t bake very much anyway.  When she did bake, it really was something special. I loved having alone time with my mom whenever she baked.
> It was  real special.


Quite often when I'm doing dished later in the evening I'll think about my mom, because I always helped her with the dishes. She washed and I dried, and what great conversations we had.

I still hang my tea towels up on the handle of the stove (just like my mom did), and what a reminder that is of the past.

The stories I could tell.

I sometimes ponder starting a diary here, a diary of the past.


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## Keesha (May 31, 2021)

Aunt Marg said:


> Quite often when I'm doing dished later in the evening I'll think about my mom, because I always helped her with the dishes. She washed and I dried, and what great conversations we had.
> 
> I still hang my tea towels up on the handle of the stove (just like my mom did), and what a reminder that is of the past.
> 
> ...


That’s really nice. Maybe she’s thinking of you also.

I would love to read stories you write about your mom and your family. You write very well  especially when you taught about your past home life. It’s most endearing.


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## Murrmurr (May 31, 2021)

Anyone ever have a neighbor come over to borrow a cup of sugar just because they wanted to meet you? That used to be kind of common, I think. Mostly girls did the borrowing, though. I never met a guy who said he met his wife by borrowing a cup of sugar.


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## Aunt Marg (May 31, 2021)

Keesha said:


> That’s really nice. Maybe she’s thinking of you also.
> 
> I would love to read stories you write about your mom and your family. You write very well  especially when you taught about your past home life. It’s most endearing.


You're too kind, Keesha, I loathe my writing. 

Have always dreamed of being able to write well but have always felt I lack the magic, and that in itself has kept me away from it.


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## Keesha (May 31, 2021)

Not our house!  I don’t remember anyone asking for a cup of sugar but maybe they did.


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## Keesha (May 31, 2021)

Aunt Marg said:


> You're too kind, Keesha, I loathe my writing.
> 
> Have always dreamed of being able to write well but have always felt I lack the magic, and that in itself has kept me away from it.


What? Why? You write really well especially when it’s about stuff you are passionate about. Your writing has magic in it when it’s written with love.


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## Aunt Marg (May 31, 2021)

Keesha said:


> What? Why? You write really well especially when it’s about stuff you are passionate about. Your writing has magic in it when it’s written with love.


Thank you so much!!!


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## Keesha (May 31, 2021)

Aunt Marg said:


> Thank you so much!!!


My pleasure.


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## Meanderer (May 31, 2021)




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## terry123 (May 31, 2021)

When I was growing up in the South everybody knew each other and it was quite common to borrow a cup of something from a neighbor and you always paid it back with usually a little extra.  My mother only used self rising flour so she always made sure she had plenty of it as the other neighbors only used all purpose.  Her biscuits were to die for.  I still make the homemade ones like she did then.


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## Meanderer (May 31, 2021)

Knock, Knock, Knock  -  The Sunshine Boys​


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## Meanderer (May 31, 2021)

History

"Borrowing from neighbors was once a commonplace practice, part of the web of relations we once had with those who lived within close range".

"In ancient times, hunting, gathering, and foraging were communal practices. And it wasn't long ago that many cultures, especially rural ones, still relied on weekly markets, traveling salesmen, and the growing of their own goods. But living in relative isolation also meant more contact with your neighbors because one of them probably provided your weekly dairy needs and another milled wheat for flour or grew pears you exchanged for apples".

"The early rise of cities meant easier access to supplies, but neighbors lived in such close quarters—think tenement buildings or row houses—that there was a constant exchange of goods and services across the yard or through criss-crossing streets. Before the rise of the big box store era, knocking on a door and asking for that extra cup of sugar or dolling out surplus tomatoes from an abundant yard garden were part of the rhythms of life".


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## Murrmurr (May 31, 2021)

Meanderer said:


> History
> 
> "Borrowing from neighbors was once a commonplace practice, part of the web of relations we once had with those who lived within close range".
> 
> ...


When I lived in a small town up north nearly everyone had a veg garden. Whatever you didn't grow, it was sure someone else did. Veg exchanges between neighbors were a regular thing practically year round, and you'd always find a few jars of home-canned food on your front porch at Christmastime.


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## Keesha (May 31, 2021)

Murrmurr said:


> When I lived in a small town up north nearly everyone had a veg garden. Whatever you didn't grow, it was sure someone else did. Veg exchanges between neighbors were a regular thing practically year round, and you'd always find a few jars of home-canned food on your front porch at Christmastime.


We did that . I’d exchange vegetables, flowers and baked goods with our neighbours of  24 years. It’s a nice thing to do.


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## terry123 (Jun 1, 2021)

We always had a garden and exchanged veggies with each other.  At Christmas we always looked forward to jars of special jams, jellies and pickles from different ones.  For many years before my stroke I made a special wine jelly that my friends loved.  They always got a jar with their peanut butter candy in a basket with other goodies.


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## PamfromTx (Jun 1, 2021)

The only 'borrowing' I remember was from a woman who lived across the street from my grandmother.  This woman would come over to borrow a cup of sugar.  Later, she'd return and borrow 2 or 3 eggs and she did this all morning.  My grandmother always said that it was done by the woman to feed her husband.  Kids would go hungry, I suppose; she cared more about feeding the man of the house.  I never understood this.

That neighbor was a piece of art... according to my grandma.  Always borrowing and of course, my grandma could not say no.  I sometimes wonder if my grandma ever borrowed from her neighbors; I don't think she ever asked for anything.  She survived with what she had.


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## Meanderer (Jun 1, 2021)




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## Meanderer (Jun 1, 2021)

Modern Etiquette: Does the 'cup of sugar' rule still apply?​_You've just moved into a new neighbourhood and don't know anybody. Does the "cup of sugar" rule still apply? _





"Conceptually, I love the old "cup of sugar" rule, but it definitely needs updated. 
This rule, which assumes it's perfectly acceptable (and encouraged) for one neighbor to venture over the fence to another's house to "borrow" a cup of sugar for baking, has two key benefits in befriending those next door". 

"Namely, it's a reason to introduce yourself. It's tough to turn an awkward wave from 50 meters away into a friendly conversation, so going right up to a new neighbor's doorstep is a fantastic excuse to properly announce yourself as a proactive and friendly future friend".  

"Also, the use of "borrow" suggests that you will reciprocate the favour at a later date. From that first meeting on, you have a base to form a friendship of sorts; one based on mutual generosity". 
(Read more)


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## Pappy (Jun 1, 2021)




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## Meanderer (Jun 1, 2021)




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## Murrmurr (Jun 1, 2021)

PamfromTx said:


> The only 'borrowing' I remember was from a woman who lived across the street from my grandmother.  This woman would come over to borrow a cup of sugar.  Later, she'd return and borrow 2 or 3 eggs and she did this all morning.  My grandmother always said that it was done by the woman to feed her husband.  Kids would go hungry, I suppose; she cared more about feeding the man of the house.  I never understand this.


I bet your gramma knew what was up. People used to be more aware of what went on in their neighborhoods.

There were some kids in my mom's neighborhood that knocked on her door just occasionally to ask to play with my parents' little poodle (RIP Skipper). She said their family were vegetarians. The kids were white as white can get and had dark circles around their eyes, and they didn't look like happy kids except when they played with Skipper. Mom wagered they ate nothing but cans of corn and green beans.

Thing is, it wasn't like you could call the police or something. Feeding your kids canned corn isn't a crime.


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## Meanderer (Jun 1, 2021)




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## Meanderer (Jun 1, 2021)




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## terry123 (Jun 3, 2021)

My family would never borrow from people they did not know in the neighborhood.  Back then for the most part everybody knew everybody and knew the condition of their kitchens.  There a couple of ladies that my mother would not borrow from because she did not think they were "clean" enough.
My mother also had a beauty shop she ran from an addition built onto our house.  Every Saturday there was a parade of little old ladies coming to get their hair done for church the next day.  The next day they would all be scattered through out our church with same exact hair cut and style.  I noticed but don't think anybody else did.  Of course that was the style then.


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## Meanderer (Jun 10, 2021)




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