# Plastic Canvas Insanity



## SifuPhil (Jun 28, 2013)

My roommate practices plastic canvas as both a hobby and as a way to grab a few extra dollars here and there from selling the finished products. Mainly they're things like tissue-box covers, doorknob hangers and the like, the kind of gee-gaws that make a house a home.

She originally started it as a sort of therapy for her hands; having worked in commercial kitchens for many years the hands were starting to seize up and she hit on the idea of the hobby as a pleasant way to regain some flexibility in her fingers.

So far, so good. But then I come along and rent a bedroom in her place and expose her for the first time to the wonders of the Internet.

I rue the day I ever did that.



First there are the basics to be learned - what is email, what is an email ADDRESS (hint: not the same as your street address!), the concept of "signing in" and "signing out" ... so those covered the first few months. 

Then, one day, I guess I wasn't fully paying attention to what I was saying. As she was telling me about the pattern books she wanted but couldn't find locally I said "Well, you could probably find them on the 'Net".

Jerk. 



As part of her Internet lessons I gave her the task of searching Google for "plastic canvas pattern books", then going to the site and finding books she liked. OK, she pulled that off with a minimum of coaching from me.

But then she wanted to actually ORDER the books. She couldn't be happy just _looking_ at the pretty colors on the screen - oh, no! She had to actually *HOLD* them in her hands! 

When she made this decision I was busy abusing the cat, so what she was saying didn't really sink-in until a half-hour later when I heard an anguished moan.

"What?"

"I can't GET this!"

"Get what?"

"THIS!!!"

I look at the screen of my laptop. On that 104 square inches of glassy real estate there was a jumble of STUFF. She had evidently tried ordering what she wanted without asking for my help, and the resulting 463 pop-ups on the screen only confirmed my suspicions. I swore I could hear my computer whining ...

"Phil ... PHILLLLLLLLL ... MAKE HER STOP!!!"



She had clicked on every possible link on the order page, in no real order, and the result was pure anarchy. It took me 20 minutes to undo the damage and when I was finished I offered to order the books for her. She gladly agreed and I zipped through the process, not really paying attention to anything but the ordering process itself.

She was happy as a clam for a couple of days, waiting by the mailbox like Snoopy for her pattern books. As Wednesday turned into Thursday and thence into Friday her face began to get longer and longer. By the end of two weeks (10 business days and 4 lesser, useless Saturdays and Sundays) she was crying "WHERE ARE MY BOOKS? WHY DON'T THEY SEND MY BOOKS?!?"

I told her to check her email for any messages from the company, and if she hadn't received any to send a query letter of her own. After I gently corrected her as she was trying to send email from Facebook she finally managed to send off an email.

Now she wanted to sit in front of the computer and wait for a reply. I had to inform her that I had work to do as well and needed access, and would call her when I was done.

Now, on the average day I'm in front of the computer for something like 12-14 hours. Roomie kept peeking around the corner to see if I was done or was taking a break so that she could check her mail. She didn't get the concept of the "tabs" on my Firefox browser - that I could have more than one site open simultaneously. I was using one tab to keep track of her mailbox and would be notified instantly if she received any mail, but SHE wanted to be the one doing a Snoopy. 



I took a break, abused the dog for a while (thank Buddha for pets. huh?) and heard her actually crying. Checking out the situation I learned that they had indeed sent her a reply, something along the lines of:



> Dear Roomie:
> 
> We have received your payment. Your download is available at http://plasticcanvasinsanity.com/grabyerstuff.html.
> 
> ...



Roomie had expected that the pattern books would be the same as the ones she had bought so many years ago at the craft store - actual paper pages. She started babbling that she would have to print out all the pages and staple them together in order to be able to use them, then in a fit of frustration and rage she did a 180 and told me to CANCEL the order.


I'm sitting in the relative quiet of my room as I type this. Roomie is at the kitchen table doing her plastic canvas work, from a pattern book printed in 1978. The pages are yellowed and dog-eared, but they are THERE - she can feel them, turn them, fondle them if she so desires. My computer is humming a happy electronic song and the animals are resting, glad for the break in the abuse.

Some things are just not meant to be.


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## That Guy (Jun 28, 2013)

It's the end of the world as we know and I DO NOT feel fine . . .


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## Ozarkgal (Jun 28, 2013)

You are a patient man, Phil.  Hope your computer survives until Roomie learns to navigate it.


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## That Guy (Jun 28, 2013)

Ozarkgal said:


> You are a patient man, Phil.  Hope your computer survives until Roomie learns to navigate it.


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## SeaBreeze (Jun 28, 2013)

It's great that she has a cool hobby like that, good for her.  It's a shame really, that she just can't buy the books she wants in the form of real books that would arrive in the mail...there must be some out there?? Nothing from Barnes and Noble, etc.?  You're an angel for being so patient with her, a true Piscean! :love_heart:  Now you gotta work your magic on the web, find some books that would brighten her mood, order them behind her back, and surprise her with some special mail!


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## Anne (Jun 29, 2013)

Phil...I'm sorry, but that is hilarious - in a way.  Hubby refuses to learn anything about the computer, tho I am patient and have offered to teach him, and I know he would love it once he learned how to navigate...he just wants nothing to do with it, period.  That's ok; I do understand, as he's heard much complaining on my end when I get frustrated.  I can imagine the patience my daughter had to possess in the process of teaching me; and I'm still learning.  Yikes.  I do think I should have bought the 'Computer for Dummies' book before I even got started.

Good for Roomie that she is willing to learn, and good for you that you are willing to take her through all the steps needed...you're a patient man, for sure.  I can also sympathize with her regarding the e-books.  I still want a book to read that I can hold in my hand and turn the pages.  Maybe just easier for these aged eyes to read, I guess.   
As an example, I belong to a forum about health problems and solutions....a gentleman there had offered a free book on glutathione; and I asked for one.  He sent a link, and I downloaded it, and saw that it was about 200 pages, and realized that hubby would never, ever read it on the computer, and I really wanted him to read it, as well as others in the family.
Cannot find the book on my computer anywhere; the man who sent it is not on the site anymore, and so that was it.   It had occurred to me that I could possibly send the file somewhere to have it printed for me, but one of the stipulations he gave was that we don't pass it on without his permission, etc. 
I'm not asking for help here, just saying I know how your Roomie must feel when she really wants a tangible book she can touch, and can find when she needs it.  It sounds like she has a talent she should pursue, and I hope she is successful with it.


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## twinkles (Jan 13, 2018)

she can get a lot of books on amazon for as little as 26 cents i also do plastic canvas and have gotten a lot of books from there---some of them are used but they look new


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