# Worst movie you've ever seen?



## Ozarkgal (Nov 12, 2012)

I've seen some snoozies and doozies in my time, but this one wins hands down with a double scoop of horse poop on top.  I was sucked in only because of the name, *"The Turin Horse"*.  I'm such a sucker for anything to do with horses.  

This movie is so bad it makes me want to recommend that you  watch it, but you seem like a nice bunch of folks, so I won't do that to you.   It was Hungarian made, black and white, english sub-titles, but they really didn't need them, because there was practically zero dialogue.  To take the place of dialogue they played the most depressing, funeral-like 5 note music throughout the 2 hour and 34 minutes.  We actually watched the first hour 2 nights ago, then yesterday boredom set in as it rained all afternoon and curiosity got the best of me, when I started thinking (that was my first mistake) that surely there must be more to the movie as it progresses.  That was the hook, even my hubby kept watching thinking there had to be more to it.

A brief synopsis is that it took place on a farm in Hungary (I assume), where an old farmer and his grown daughter lived.  There was a horrible wind storm taking place and the movie was broken up into six day segments.  Everyday was exactly the same, as they went about their short daily routine that consisted of the daughter dressing and undressing the father, as apparently had suffered a stroke and had no use of his right arm. Her boiling two potatoes,which they ate with their hands and staring out the window, then going to bed when it got dark. The old guy apparently drove his old horse to town or somewhere everyday,they never made it clear where he went on the god forsaken plains. After he returned on the second day in the windstorm, the horse refused to move anymore, so it was put in the barn and that was pretty much the extent of the movies connection to horses. The farmer stayed home for the next four days and other than that break in the daily routine, every day was pretty much the same as the one before. 
The whole time you were watching paint dry and listening to the wind blow, the gawd-awful music was playing.  Seriously, that was the whole movie, all 2 hours and 34 minutes of it. 

This is not a feel good movie, so unless you feel the need to be seriously depressed:dispirited: I'd skip this one.  But, if like me curiosity overcomes you, you can catch it on Netflixs.

Okay, if can you top this for bad movies, I'll send you a bag of popcorn!


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## SifuPhil (Nov 12, 2012)

LOL - warm up that popcorn!

Actually I cannot name a single worst movie - rather, I see a long succession of films in specific genres that were bloody awful. Since I'm a martial arts nut I naturally take to those early '70's Chinese kung-fu movies, affectionately known as "chop-sockies". 

The worst / best of these was perhaps _Master of the Flying Guillotine _(1974) - the dude had what was essentially a collapsible bird cage lined with razors that he used to ... well, see for yourself ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RmdP1qTjGZY

My son started watching a lot of foreign films in his senior year of high school. I remember him telling me about one that was 2 hours of a tilted camera filming a wall. That was it - a wall, filmed at an angle, the narrator no doubt holding forth on some deep French philosophy as we contemplated the futility of life.  

To my jaded, old-school eye the last good movies, with a few exceptions, were made in the '40's.


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## Ozarkgal (Nov 12, 2012)

Yes *Phil*, so right there are very few movies these days worth the time. I love :love_heart:the oldies, too.  Have you noticed that Hollywood keeps remaking the classics and not one of them is better than the original. Kind of like the definition of insanity..doing the same thing over and over expecting different results, only in this case the results are worse. 

 LOL....I checked it out and your movie may qualify for the cheesiest category, but at least there was some   action, so no popcorn today. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
			





 However, your son's movie may be the winner though...wow, two hours staring at a wall.  I would have been pretty p.o.ed if I'd paid $$ to see that. 

Hollywood needs to come up with an *Academy No Award*.  But I guess it would take them too long to review all the bad movies, and all the actors would be dead by then anyway. Phil, with your sense of humor, I'll bet you could come up with some pretty good categories.

Anyone else want to play?


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## TWHRider (Nov 13, 2012)

I haven't replied because I was trying to remember the worst movie I ever paid money to see.  I can't remember because I have never been much of a movie goer.  I know there's something I was sorry I wasted a ticket on but just can't remember.  


 What I do love is the TCM channel.  I love the old Thin Man movies.  Charlie Chan regardless of which person played Charlie Chan.   Any of the old time Whodunits.  Agatha Christie stuff and that includes "Murder She Wrote".


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## Elzee (Nov 20, 2012)

With the worse movies I have ever seen, I tend to doze off and fall asleep. So, then I don't remember them. If I start watching a movie that is too weird, too creepy, too boring, too... whatever, I turn it off. So, can't name 'The worse movie I have ever seen'. Either I slept through it or I turned it off.


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## Steve (Nov 21, 2012)

We were in the video club business in Montreal for years

I have seen an uncountable amount of movies in my lifetime but none seems to be as bad as *ATTACK OF THE KILLER TOMATOES ......
*
Yes it is a cult type of movie but still very bad acting...

There are a few others but I can't think of them at this moment..


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## Sassycakes (Aug 29, 2016)

"November" with Courteney Cox. I had to watch it 2x's before I fully understood it.


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## fureverywhere (Aug 29, 2016)

The cheesy horror and martial arts movies were great fun as a teen...smoking and/or drinking to your happy place then sneaking into the drive in...not much effort, you could walk into the side and sit on the bricks. But watching Chuck Norris take out all the bad guys with one foot...AWESOME

The two worst movies as a somewhat sober adult..." Blue Velvet" and " The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & her Lover". I'm not good with gratuitous violence or scat. Both I only saw halfway through and that was quite enough.


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## tnthomas (Aug 29, 2016)

Waterworld, hands down the worst movie I ever  rented.     Striptease was the other movie I picked up that weekend, it was generally a failure, except for Demi Moore's semi nude scene, but let's face it, the erotic aspect was pretty tame.   :shrug:


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## jujube (Aug 30, 2016)

I'm a connoisseur of really bad horror and sci-fi movies.  They just crack me up, but then, I'm easily amused.  

The all-time "baddest" movie in that genre is "Plan Nine from Outer Space".  It was meant to be Bela Lugosi's last movie but he died on the fourth(?) day of filming.  Because the director didn't want to lose out on using Lugosi's name, he got his wife's dentist to fill in for the rest of the movie because he had somewhat of a widow's peak like Lugosi's.  Of course, he didn't look like Lugosi in the slightest, so the director had him wear a cape and keep it pulled over the lower part of his face for the rest of the movie, which had absolutely nothing to do with the plot, not that there was much of a plot to begin with.   Another great part of the movie.......when a movie is set at night, there are two ways to shoot it: use very expensive film to shoot in low light or just shoot it during the day and treat the film to make it look dark.  The director opted for the latter method, but never got around to having the film treated, everyone is stumbling around in broad daylight trying to act like they can't see where they are going.  

Runner-up?  Just about anything that came out of the Golan-Globus studios, especially "Treasure of the Four Crowns", which is a real stinker.


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## NancyNGA (Aug 30, 2016)

Jujube, that reminds me of the movie _Saratoga_ (Jean Harlow and Clark Gable), where Ms. Harlow died before it was finished.   I watched that one just to see how they handled it.  Mostly with her back toward the camera.  Now I want to watch _Plan Nine from Outer Space_, for the same reason.  Sicko?


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## Bonzo (Aug 30, 2016)

The  CONQUEROR JOHN WAYNE 
PROPER PONY FILM
GOTTA BE ONE OF THE WORST


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## debbie in seattle (Aug 30, 2016)

Hmmmmmm.    Can't remember the title, must of been really bad


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## jujube (Aug 30, 2016)

I forgot another great bad one: "The Killer Shrews", which featured an island full of Doberman Pinchers running around dressed in bath mats.   And then there was "Day of the Triffids", which while it wasn't an altogether bad movie, did have the Triffids, who looked like moving haystacks, but with the person underneath's tennis shoes showing on occasion.


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## fureverywhere (Aug 30, 2016)

Here's a link to the book " The Golden Turkey Awards"...Plan Nine from Outer Space, John Wayne as a Mongol warrior...all the best of the worst, it's a really enjoyable book
https://www.amazon.com/Golden-Turkey-Awards-Harry-Medved/dp/0207959684


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## Bobw235 (Aug 30, 2016)

The movie "Mixed Nuts" is right up there as one of the worst I've ever seen. Horrible film.


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## NancyNGA (Aug 30, 2016)

If it's that bad, I never make it to the end. 

Of those that were supposed to be excellent, and therefore I made it to the end, these come to mind.

_2001: A Space Odyssey_ 
_Annie Hall_ 
_It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World 

_Obviously I'm just not with it.


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## Goldfynche (Aug 30, 2016)

Lady L with Paul Newman and Sophia Loren! Probably nobody's even heard of it. But I do recall almost falling asleep in an almost deserted theatre!


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## Victor (Sep 6, 2016)

*So many*

So many. The last awful picture I saw was Jane Got A Gun with Natalie Portman. I like her much
but this is easily the WORST western I have ever seen and I have seen a hundred or more. The worst in the
history of westerns because of the photography. Bomb at the box office.

Also Brazil. Cloud Atlas, Wrath of God. Even Rita Hayworth cannot save this drivel.


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## raido ear (Dec 12, 2018)

*Funny*



Ozarkgal said:


> I've seen some snoozies and doozies in my time, but this one wins hands down with a double scoop of horse poop on top.  I was sucked in only because of the name, *"The Turin Horse"*.  I'm such a sucker for anything to do with horses.
> 
> This movie is so bad it makes me want to recommend that you  watch it, but you seem like a nice bunch of folks, so I won't do that to you.   It was Hungarian made, black and white, english sub-titles, but they really didn't need them, because there was practically zero dialogue.  To take the place of dialogue they played the most depressing, funeral-like 5 note music throughout the 2 hour and 34 minutes.  We actually watched the first hour 2 nights ago, then yesterday boredom set in as it rained all afternoon and curiosity got the best of me, when I started thinking (that was my first mistake) that surely there must be more to the movie as it progresses.  That was the hook, even my hubby kept watching thinking there had to be more to it.
> 
> ...



Great review, where did you find this gem?


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## Trade (Dec 12, 2018)

tnthomas said:


> Waterworld, hands down the worst movie I ever  rented.



What!!!? 

Waterworld was awesome!

"Dryland is not just our destination. Dryland is our Destiny!"


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## Trade (Dec 12, 2018)

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## Ellejay (Dec 12, 2018)

Here's my review of "Tower of the Firstborn" (1989) ... I wrote the review when I saw the movie, years ago.

_Tower of the Firstborn_ was so bad it will always set a standard for the worst of the worst in  cinematography. Incredible – because few would believe what we just sat  through for three hours and ten minutes. Yes, you read that right. Over  THREE HOURS of terrible directing and horrible acting.

The movie bordered on comedy with stilted dialog and an airplane used  as a desert-boat with a French flag being used as a sail. Kissing  scenes that were beyond silly plagued the production, which, by the way,  was a product of Italy. I’m not sure what the director had in mind  here. Maybe I just don’t understand what Italian movie viewers want, but  three hours and ten minutes of this? We honestly were concerned that  perhaps the movie would never end and that we’d been eternally consigned  to bad-movie-hell.  The laughter kept me awake… as well as a bit of  trepidation as the movie dragged on and on and on.


 But enough of this … I’ve got to tell you a bit about the plot.


 In 1919 during the Franco-Turkish war, two brothers shared the dream of finding a Middle Eastern relic called the Tower of the Firstborn.  Arabian legends told that the tower contained something that would turn  the desert into a paradise of greenery, as it had been in ancient  times.


 The brothers, John Shannon (Peter Weller) and Michael Shannon (Ben  Cross), both loved the same woman, Elizabeth, who by this time is dead.  Michael was deeply in love with her but he frightened her, so she  married John. Passionate enmity raging from Michael toward John  permeated the entire film. Michael, who had re-named himself Zadik, made  an unrelenting, black-hearted, black-clothed villain one wouldn’t want  to be anywhere near unless you were the kind and steadfast brother John  who never gave up on the concept of brotherly love.


 Meanwhile an Arabian seeker found the huge golden door to the  mysterious tower. He told his beautiful daughter, Adriel, to wait for  him as he rushed in only to be confronted with a light so bright it  blinded him. They retreated, and when the father was killed, Adriel  tried to run for safety but fell and developed amnesia. At this time  we’re also introduced to the handsome Arabian prince, Rashid, The Lion  of the Desert, who is in love with Dr. Diane Shannon, the daughter of  John and Elizabeth. Diane is an archeologist whose side-kick is an  outrageously clumsy Irish physicist named Neil Hogan.

Anyhow, all these people get together on the desert and cause a lot  of havoc in each others’ lives until finally someone gets into the _Tower of the Firstborn_  to discover the secrets. The ending was a big let-down. You expect to  see something amazing happen, but suddenly that’s over before it begins  and you’re left wondering why.


 Every bad movie must have some good in it too. In _Tower of the Firstborn_,  some of the scenery was breathtakingly beautiful. The Arabian horses  were also worth seeing. Some of the actors were attractive and some even  did a good bit of acting.


 I noticed a few anomalies. First, when Adriel married a French  soldier named Leon, the wedding rings were put on the right-hand ring  fingers. Was the film backward? Do people in Italy use their right hands  for their wedding rings? I just don’t know. Second, when Diane Shannon  and Neil Hogan were being controlled and guarded by a Shiek’s evil  Arabian servant, they plotted to hit the guard over the head with a log.  But the ‘log’ Neil brought out from behind his back was only a short,  thick stick. Definitely not big enough to injure the guard who was a  brute with a big ugly knife in his belt and a few guns. I think the  translator got the word wrong.


 Honestly, I never thought I’d ever ream a movie this badly and my  cheeks are burning with shame for having such negative thoughts about  the creative effort of some normally talented people. I don’t know what  went wrong this time but it was pretty weird. I’m putting _Tower of the Firstborn_  into the “Wretched” category… and will also classify it as a  “Shoot-em-up” because so many people got shot, beaten, stabbed, or  simply maimed.


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## moviequeen1 (Dec 12, 2018)

I go to the movies all the time,these are the worst ones I've seen,walked out of theatre
Tower Heist'11
Neighbors'14
Storks'16 {animated movie}
these yr I've walked out of 'The Shape of Water','Widows' Sue


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## exwisehe (Dec 12, 2018)

Barbarella (Jane Fonda)


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## applecruncher (Dec 12, 2018)

@ Trade

Love Story?  Shame on you!  :laugh:


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## fmdog44 (Dec 12, 2018)

NancyNGA said:


> Jujube, that reminds me of the movie _Saratoga_ (Jean Harlow and Clark Gable), where Ms. Harlow died before it was finished.   I watched that one just to see how they handled it.  Mostly with her back toward the camera.  Now I want to watch _Plan Nine from Outer Space_, for the same reason.  Sicko?


 Plan 9 is hilarious for flick flubs. Ed Wood the director was a quack. Watch the movie "Ed Wood". Johnny Depp plays Wood.


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## applecruncher (Dec 14, 2018)

This one isn't the worst, but gawd it stunk (despite some decent reviews).

*Mistress* (1987) starring Victoria Principal (Pam Ewing on Dallas).

In the beginning she's been the mistress of Don Murray (Sid Fairgate from Knot's Landing) for 9 yrs.  He dies - in bed.  She's left broke and tries to get a job.  Goes home to small town for ...comfort.  Goes on a date with the guy from high school....tells him she was a mistress for 9 yrs. Goes back to LA, can't get a job, sells her earrings, calls hometown boy and suggests they meet in Vegas, he agrees but doesn't show up. Some other things happen and she ends up with another married man Alan Rachins (Douglas Brackman from LA Law).


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## BlueDragonfly (Dec 15, 2018)

The Game, Michael Douglas. 

Monty Python~ though hubs would disagree


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## Pinky (Dec 15, 2018)

I fell asleep during Attack Of The Killer Tomatoes, and we left partway through Yellow Submarine.


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## treeguy64 (Dec 25, 2018)

* Return To Paradise. *  Absolutely the worst piece of garbage I ever saw, with the most asinine plot imaginable. I saw it on free sneak preview tickets, but still was angry, afterwards, over time I wasted.


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## treeguy64 (Dec 25, 2018)

NancyNGA said:


> If it's that bad, I never make it to the end.
> 
> Of those that were supposed to be excellent, and therefore I made it to the end, these come to mind.
> 
> ...



Wow! 2001 is my all-time, favorite movie. I've seen it more than ten times. Amazing special effects, and it STILL can hold up its own when it comes to the space flight scenes. Given when it was made, and all of the advances, since, that's totally mind boggling!


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## C'est Moi (Dec 25, 2018)

I can't think of any specific movie, but I have seen plenty of duds.   I have never liked musicals for some reason; I find it annoying to be trying to follow a plot and they keep bursting into song/dance routines.


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