# To Be Or Not To Be



## Deborah (Jan 11, 2013)

Buried, that is.  My son is well aware of my wishes to be cremated, but I was shocked one day when I discovered that he intended to keep my cremated remains in his possession, indefinitely.  I relieved him of that requirement.  But the more I thought about "what to do" with the cremated remains, the more perplexed I became.  Thoughts about being tossed into the ocean, in a field, etc., left me with no warm, fuzzy feelings.  What to do?


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## SeaBreeze (Jan 12, 2013)

I think it's very nice that your son would like to keep your ashes with him in your memory, nothing wrong with that.  I had a couple of relatives that just wanted them sprinkled in the wind, somewhere outdoors in nature, that always sounded nice to me.  My mom had her ashes buried in a regular cemetary, with no stone or anything.

My husband and I were thinking that we just may bury each others ashes on our property, so we could visit the spot whenever we wanted to, we're not sure yet.  Realistically, the person is resting peacefully elsewhere, and what is done with their ashes has little importance.


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## TWHRider (Jan 13, 2013)

We have also opted for cremation.  Mr. TWHRider wants me to go up on the ridge and scatter him.

I, on the other hand, want my ashes "laid to rest" with my heart horse who, hopefully, will have gone on ahead of me because that's The Plan


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## R. Zimm (Jan 13, 2013)

I think cremation is the way I would like my body to be returned to the Earth. Personally, I would like to have my ashes put into the sea on the outgoing tida at my favorite fishing spot when I was younger.

Gee, I guess we should put this stuff in writing, don't you think?


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## TWHRider (Jan 13, 2013)

R. Zimm said:


> Gee, I guess we should put this stuff in writing, don't you think?



Absolutely.  We did get that in writing but I told Mr. TWHRider if he tisses me off and leaves too soon, I will not toss his ashes to the wind; I'm going to set the urn on the fireplace and smack it twice daily for "walking out on me"  layful:


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## maybenot (Jan 14, 2013)

As I've no family here I've donated my body to science, seems they're short on brains,:0 and hubby will be cremated and his ashes go to the family plot, he reckons he wants a new suit for the service, "no way I'm forking out hundreds of $$ for a suit just to burn it  " I told him, "i'll get one from St Vinny de Pauls'"  Yes! we have a laugh about it, what else can we do? Can't live forever and nor would I wish to


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## SifuPhil (Jan 16, 2013)

Technically, it's illegal in many jurisdictions to scatter cremains. I found this out when my brother joined a cremation society and they charged extra for "broadcasting cremains" in your choice of the ocean, woods or whatever else they offered (it's been a lot of years). 

Of course, that won't stop you if you just happen to be taking a stroll in the woods with Grandma's powdered remains and happen to trip - "WOOPS!" - but just be advised that if you run into a do-gooder who knows the law you could be up against some hard times.


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## SeaBreeze (Jan 16, 2013)

You have to set your 'goody two shoes' alarm first...too many laws on the books for the individual...I could see where there would be a problem if crematories dumped all their ashes outside on the ground.


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## Elzee (Jan 17, 2013)

I told my kids - please do not put my ashes on the mantle nor shoved them  in the back of a closet. Just dump my ashes out to sea. And yes, if you have to - oops, there they go.... so be it. 

One of my ex-brother-in-laws died in a car accident about 6 years ago. His children, my nieces and nephew had the responsibility to deal with his ashes. For several years, they could not agree and didn't know what to do. They were just young adults and grieved so much as they loved their dad. So, finally they agreed to scatter his ashes at a lake that they all had enjoyed spending time together with their dad, and had many good memories. On a cold winter day, with a bottle of wine to celebrate the occasion, they toasted their dad and scattered the ashes. 

This was completely illegal as alcohol was not permitted at this park by the lake and they didn't get permission to scatter the ashes. But it was a cold winter day and no one else was around. They really think their dad would have approved with their decision that they finally made together. And he would be a lot happier being free and scattered at one of his favorite places, than being kept in the back of a closet. Also, he would have approved that his children were able to agree on a decision and that they could celebrate together, all the good memories and the love they shared together. And yes, with a toast. He would have approved of the bottle of wine.


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## pchinvegas (Jan 22, 2013)

I have opted to donate my body for tissue and other research. A portion of cremated remains will be available for my children.  I'm sure one at least would opt to add it to ink and get a new tattoo, that would be "SWEET" . My children and I share family Tatts that we love.


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