# Ladies married to 10 years younger, Men married to 10 years older??



## Denise1952 (Feb 19, 2014)

I met a guy awhile back, 10 years younger, just wondering if anyone has a solid relationship with this age difference, but only want to know about older women, with younger men.

I already know men with younger women seems to work out ok.  It's hard to be from "the old school" though and take a guy up on a date that is 10 years my junior.

What do you all say?  Would love to hear actual "voices of experience" and if you want, you can send me private message on it, I won't tell.  Really, I forget most of what I hear

Denise


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## SifuPhil (Feb 19, 2014)

It's just a number, and as numbers go "10" isn't very big. 

Do you _like_ the person? Then age doesn't matter.


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## Denise1952 (Feb 19, 2014)

I reminded him that when he was 61, I'd be 71.  He said that because of a bad pancreas (not cancer though) that I would probably outlive him.  I'm beginning to really think less of the "number" thing.  A lot of couples look the same age and you would never guess they are 10 years apart, or any number apart.  The chemistry thing again, if it's there, then I believe you're right  Who knows when anyone is leaving Earth, after all.  The docs can't even know for sure.  My uncle outlived the 6 months they gave him by about 15 years.  Go figure.


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## Denise1952 (Feb 19, 2014)

That is always a question I have about younger men, and that is why, when they could have younger.  I guess that goes for any age, a man preferring younger, I can understand it, I just wish sometimes the guys that want younger than I, would be interested enough to go out with me.  I think too many (including myself) have preconceived ideas about age.  I like Phils reply, I think that is true


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## SifuPhil (Feb 19, 2014)

Football? Baseball?

Not basketball, I hope - those guys are always on the rebound. It's bad enough the football guys always want to score and the baseball guys just want to run the bases ...


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## SifuPhil (Feb 19, 2014)

Compatibility is King.

In my younger days I usually went out with older women. In my older days I went out with younger ones.

Now I don't even go out the front door.


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## Pappy (Feb 19, 2014)

:getit:


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## Fern (Feb 19, 2014)

> I reminded him that when he was 61, I'd be 71


At that time in your life, I don't see where 10 years could make that much difference.


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## Jillaroo (Feb 19, 2014)

_Denise my late husband was 12 years younger than me, we had a fantastic relationship, a few friends looked down their nose at us, but once they realised that it was serious  they were happy. He took on my daughters as his own no questions and was very proud of his daughters, they adored him.We were so in tune with each other,i knew what he was about to say and visa versa.
             I was so lucky to have the love of a man like this he was a very special man, and i miss him so much._


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## Denise1952 (Feb 19, 2014)

Jillaroo said:


> _Denise my late husband was 12 years younger than me, we had a fantastic relationship, a few friends looked down their nose at us, but once they realised that it was serious  they were happy. He took on my daughters as his own no questions and was very proud of his daughters, they adored him.We were so in tune with each other,i knew what he was about to say and visa versa.
> I was so lucky to have the love of a man like this he was a very special man, and i miss him so much._



Thanks Jill, for telling me about him.  I am sorry for your loss.  I don't think I'll be worrying about age-dif anymore, it really does depend on the person doesn't it,  Denise, hugs for you ((((((((((((Jill))))))))))


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## GDAD (Feb 19, 2014)

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder: An old saying but true!
My wife is 7 years younger than me, So what's the difference
the other way. We have two sons, five G/Kids & have been together
since 1969.:heart::dontworry:


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## Denise1952 (Feb 19, 2014)

thank you Gdad, I know you are all right about this.


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## Denise1952 (Feb 19, 2014)

oh amen to the playboys, or pretty boys, even the ruggedly handsome.  I don't want that in my life, just give me kind, funny, and smells good, LOL!!


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## SeaBreeze (Feb 19, 2014)

I think the men in my relationships have all been older than me, usually by just a couple of years.  I don't think I'd want too much of an age difference, but 10 yrs. is not much in the big picture of things.  If I clicked with someone, age would not matter.


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## Casper (Feb 19, 2014)

_*Denise, Phil hit the nail right on the head.....
Age is just a number and it really depends on the way you feel about yourself.....
If you think old, you will be old......ld:
I'll be 70 next month and mostly I feel at least 10 years younger than that and am often told I look younger....
Age doesn't worry me at all. :dontworry:*_


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## littleowl (Feb 20, 2014)

I am 17 years older than Christine. We have been married 41 years.


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## Justme (Feb 20, 2014)

I wouldn't have wished to be involved with anyone too much older than myself, my husband is 2.5 years older than me. But the idea of marrying anyone younger would have been awful, imo.


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## Rainee (Feb 20, 2014)

Hi nwlady 
I really don`t think it matters of the 10 yrs difference.. like Phil says what is age ? but a number.. and  I know the age gap can work.. my brother was 25 and his wife 37 when they married  and have been happy ever since.. and that is 30 yrs ago.. she is 67 now and he is 55 so more like a match and you never notice it or even  think about it just accept it and I love seeing  them being so happy. 

Nowadays we all tend to live similar lives, do the same things , unlike when our parents were young. and there were clear gaps between the generations..These days its OK to act younger when your older... we have the freedom to choose what lifestyle we want , women are looking younger these days and act younger as no doubt you do too.. I bet you feel and act like your in your 40s.. 

All I can say is if you are happy and you feel he is the right one for you.. then go for it!!.. I am the other way around my first husband died when I was 23.. married my second husband when I was 26 now he was 41 but we have been married for nearly 40yrs and we still get on fine, although hasn`t always been a bed of roses we are still together..ife is what you make it .and its your choice.. I never think oh he is older! it sort of grows and you accept it..  if you care thats all that matters and if he cares for you too.. 

And also I think making it a success together  has nothing to do with age.. Its about how you create  your relationship. if its build on love, respect and communication you`re on a winning formula, no matter how old you are if your in love and enjoy being with one another and he makes you happy who cares? you know brave people follow their hearts not other people`s opinions.. you only have one life so enjoy it !


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## That Guy (Feb 20, 2014)

I tend to make friends with both men and women 10 or more years younger then myself.  Must be my lovely immaturity . . .


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## Denise1952 (Feb 20, 2014)

I'd call that young at heart TG I am too, but I gravitate towards personalities.  If someone laughs at me, they are friend for life, LOL!!  And if someone makes me laugh, same thing


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## RedRibbons (Feb 20, 2014)

nwlady said:


> I met a guy awhile back, 10 years younger, just wondering if anyone has a solid relationship with this age difference, but only want to know about older women, with younger men.
> 
> I already know men with younger women seems to work out ok.  It's hard to be from "the old school" though and take a guy up on a date that is 10 years my junior.
> 
> ...



what is the big deal about older women with younger men? Much older men have been having relationships with younger women for hundred's of years. Why do you think that there is any difference when it is older women with younger men?


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## Betty&Jeremy (Jun 4, 2022)

SifuPhil said:


> It's just a number, and as numbers go "10" isn't very big.
> 
> Do you _like_ the person? Then age doesn't matter.


Very true. My husband is nearly 40 years younger, so 10 is really not that much. We get along wonderfully, I have a much better relationship with him than my ex who was the same age as me. I admit I did have a stigma about this before we met, but as our relationship evolved, there was no doubt in my mind he is the right man for me. I have friends who say no way to what I did, not even 5 years younger. They are not happy, senior women should open their doors as they are truly missing out by putting such stringent age limitations on who they want to be with.


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## hollydolly (Jun 4, 2022)

goodness me where's an 8 year old thread been dragged up from?


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## JustBonee (Jun 4, 2022)

hollydolly said:


> goodness me where's an 8 year old thread been dragged up from?



New members seem to dig really deep to find something to talk about for  some reason.


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## Colleen (Jun 4, 2022)

I can give you my personal experience. I was married to a man that was almost 10 years younger then me. We worked together and I was attracted to him because he had never been married and was a "Christian" and very active in his church. We were married in 1983. He was 28 and I was 37 and I had a son that was 9 years old. 

I was very happy and I thought he was, too, but in 1992, I found out differently. He packed up and left (and took the car) one day while I was at work and only left a letter telling me that he had wanted out before the 3rd year of our marriage, but didn't have the courage to say so. He also confessed that he was seeing someone from our church. Nothing like being a hypocrite.

I won't go into the sordid details, but just suffice it to say.....don't get serious if you get in a relationship that may only end in sorrow for you. My ex wanted younger women (which never turned out for him...the idiot!) because he didn't want to be reminded that he was also getting older. He's now 66 and alone.


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## Pepper (Jun 4, 2022)

I would really wonder about a man 40 years younger than me who wanted me romantically.  I would think there is something very wrong with him.


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## JonSR77 (Jun 4, 2022)

In the 90s, as it turned out, I was in three relationships...each for a few years, with women who were about 10 years older than me.

So, I was in my mid 30s and they were in their 40s

I think there is nothing wrong with that dynamic. 

I don't think it would work for a 20 year old man with a 30 year old woman. But if the man is in his 30s or older, I don't see any problem with it.


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## Nosy Bee-54 (Jun 4, 2022)

The current French president has been married for 15 years and he is 25 years younger than his wife. I think he is lucky to have an experienced and mature wife.


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## Trish (Jun 4, 2022)

Denise1952 said:


> I met a guy awhile back, 10 years younger, just wondering if anyone has a solid relationship with this age difference, but only want to know about older women, with younger men.
> 
> I already know men with younger women seems to work out ok.  It's hard to be from "the old school" though and take a guy up on a date that is 10 years my junior.
> 
> ...


This thread is from 2014.  I want to know what happened with Denise1952 and her younger guy.


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## Packerjohn (Jun 4, 2022)

Colleen said:


> I can give you my personal experience. I was married to a man that was almost 10 years younger then me. We worked together and I was attracted to him because he had never been married and was a "Christian" and very active in his church. We were married in 1983. He was 28 and I was 37 and I had a son that was 9 years old.
> 
> I was very happy and I thought he was, too, but in 1992, I found out differently. He packed up and left (and took the car) one day while I was at work and only left a letter telling me that he had wanted out before the 3rd year of our marriage, but didn't have the courage to say so. He also confessed that he was seeing someone from our church. Nothing like being a hypocrite.
> 
> I won't go into the sordid details, but just suffice it to say.....don't get serious if you get in a relationship that may only end in sorrow for you. My ex wanted younger women (which never turned out for him...the idiot!) because he didn't want to be reminded that he was also getting older. He's now 66 and alone.


Looks like you married a pretend Christian who turned out to be a big jerk!  Sad story!  This is something I have learned over the years:

There are many bad people that go to church & there are many really decent, kind people who never go to church.  Appearance sure can be deceiving!


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## Gaer (Jun 5, 2022)

Pepper said:


> I would really wonder about a man 40 years younger than me who wanted me romantically.  I would think there is something very wrong with him.


Pepper, I think this "Betty" is drop dead gorgeous!


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## Pepper (Jun 5, 2022)

Gaer said:


> Pepper, I think this "Betty" is drop dead gorgeous!


I don't know what she looks like, her avatar shows no pic.  But anyway, I was more questioning about him than her.


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## horseless carriage (Jun 5, 2022)

Denise1952 said:


> I met a guy awhile back, 10 years younger, just wondering if anyone has a solid relationship with this age difference, but only want to know about older women, with younger men
> What do you all say?  Would love to hear actual "voices of experience" and if you want, you can send me private message on it, I won't tell.  Really, I forget most of what I hear
> 
> Denise


It's patently obvious that in Brit speak you have: The Phwoar Factor.


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## mrstime (Jun 5, 2022)

My uncle married a woman who was about 15 years younger than he, the big problem? She is now a widow and has been for the past 12 years.


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## fuzzybuddy (Jun 5, 2022)

I think it matters when you get married, rather than the difference in ages. By that I mean if you are in your 20s even a ten- or 20-year difference doesn't really matter. As you get older , it becomes more and more of a problem..  I think it becomes more a  difference in the stages of life than  the actual number of years.  It's still compatibility rather than age, which is important.


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## Alligatorob (Jun 5, 2022)

Denise1952 said:


> I met a guy awhile back, 10 years younger, just wondering if anyone has a solid relationship with this age difference, but only want to know about older women, with younger men.


Years ago, when I was 30ish I had a relationship with a 40ish woman.  I liked her, still do.  Did not end up with her, but age had nothing to do with it.  10 years was a bigger gap back then than it would be today.  So I'd say you are fine, if you like him go for it!

@Colleen sorry to hear your story, but do you think it really was the age difference that was the problem.  Or just him?


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## dseag2 (Jun 5, 2022)

My mother was married to a man 10 years her senior.  Married at 35 and 25 y/o, respectively.  Although they stayed together until he passed away, I wouldn't say their marriage was ideal since she was essentially his "trophy wife" and had severe emotional issues as she got older.  He was an astute businessman and she was a housewife, so although she worked just as hard as he did and had an innate ability to engage people I think she always felt inferior.   

On the other hand, my partner is 8 years younger than I am and is my intellectual equal.  He was 24 and I was 32 y/o when we met. We clicked immediately. We often think or say the same thing at the same time.  That's why we have been together for over 30 years.  We are close enough in age to remember the same things, but we are from different generations.  When we went to see the Journey and Toto concert I was there to see Toto and he was there to see Journey. 

The ability to sustain a relationship with a significant age difference is dependent on so many factors.  I think having similar values, respect for each other and a similar sense of humor makes a big difference.


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## dseag2 (Jun 5, 2022)

mrstime said:


> My uncle married a woman who was about 15 years younger than he, the big problem? She is now a widow and has been for the past 12 years.


I hear you.  My grandfather, who passed away at 98 y/o, married a woman 20 years younger after my grandmother passed away.  He was in his 60's and she was in her 40's.  He was demanding, and she waited on him hand and foot.  She not only ended up a widow, but she ended up exhausted after taking care of him for years when his health declined.


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## dseag2 (Jun 5, 2022)

Bonnie said:


> New members seem to dig really deep to find something to talk about for  some reason.


Very glad they do.  Some of the older threads are more interesting than the newer ones!


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## mrstime (Jun 5, 2022)

dseag2 said:


> I hear you.  My grandfather, who passed away at 98 y/o, married a woman 20 years younger after my grandmother passed away.  He was in his 60's and she was in her 40's.  He was demanding, and she waited on him hand and foot.  She not only ended up a widow, but she ended up exhausted after taking care of him for years when his health declined.


Well my uncle's wife didn't have to wear herself out tending him. He was normal one day the next he had a massive stroke. His body lived about another week........but he wasn't in there.


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## Nathan (Jun 5, 2022)

10 or more years in age difference can be problematic, getting into the area of generational differences in value, mindset.


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## win231 (Jun 5, 2022)

Colleen said:


> I can give you my personal experience. I was married to a man that was almost 10 years younger then me. We worked together and I was attracted to him because he had never been married and was a "Christian" and very active in his church. We were married in 1983. He was 28 and I was 37 and I had a son that was 9 years old.
> 
> I was very happy and I thought he was, too, but in 1992, I found out differently. He packed up and left (and took the car) one day while I was at work and only left a letter telling me that he had wanted out before the 3rd year of our marriage, but didn't have the courage to say so. He also confessed that he was seeing someone from our church. Nothing like being a hypocrite.
> 
> I won't go into the sordid details, but just suffice it to say.....don't get serious if you get in a relationship that may only end in sorrow for you. My ex wanted younger women (which never turned out for him...the idiot!) because he didn't want to be reminded that he was also getting older. He's now 66 and alone.


^^^^ Happens often when you evaluate someone based on religion.


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