# Exercise support group question



## Victor (Jan 20, 2017)

I belong to an ongoing exercise support group, only a few seniors, in a hospital setting.
I have known them for three years or more and we have talked and laughed quite a bit.
One of them mentioned eating pie at a restaurant known for its pies, and I said that
we could all go there together. Well, they started laughing hysterically like it was the
funniest joke they ever heard. Like it  is ridiculous!? Why?
Two days later I asked them why they laughed and they denied laughing
  I don't get it! It is ve*ry clear to me that we are NOT "friends".*
They all like each other and will attend hospital sponsored parties.


----------



## Butterfly (Jan 20, 2017)

Perhaps they were laughing because the idea of people in an exercise support group all going out for high calorie food does seem a bit counterintuitive.  Kind of like a Weight Watchers group going out for beer and pizza after exercising and trying to burn off calories.


----------



## tnthomas (Jan 21, 2017)

Victor said:


> One of them mentioned eating pie at a restaurant known for its pies, and I said that
> we could all go there together. Well, they started laughing hysterically like it was the
> funniest joke they ever heard. Like it  is ridiculous!? Why?
> Two days later I asked them why they laughed and they denied laughing



Perhaps the laughter was so spontaneous that they just didn't recall...:shrug:




Butterfly said:


> Perhaps they were laughing because the idea of people in an exercise support group all going out for high calorie food does seem a bit counterintuitive.  Kind of like a Weight Watchers group going out for beer and pizza after exercising and trying to burn off calories.



I'm thinking this might be the case.


----------



## Stormy (Jan 21, 2017)

Victor said:


> One of them mentioned eating pie at a restaurant known for its pies, and I said that
> we could all go there together. Well, they started laughing hysterically like it was the
> funniest joke they ever heard. Like it  is ridiculous!? Why?
> Two days later I asked them why they laughed and they denied laughing
> I don't get it! It is ve*ry clear to me that we are NOT "friends".*



They all probably really thought it was funny to suggest to an exercise or weight loss group to eat pie at a restaurant together that sounds very normal to me.  Asking them two days later is a little bit strange and they probably didn't even want to discuss it anymore because it was being thought about too much and might lead into an argument. I wouldn't assume that they were not friends, just didn't want to make a serious problem out of something that was just casual fun and meant nothing harmful.


----------



## Butterfly (Jan 21, 2017)

Stormy said:


> They all probably really thought it was funny to suggest to an exercise or weight loss group to eat pie at a restaurant together that sounds very normal to me.  Asking them two days later is a little bit strange and they probably didn't even want to discuss it anymore because it was being thought about too much and might lead into an argument. I wouldn't assume that they were not friends, just didn't want to make a serious problem out of something that was just casual fun and meant nothing harmful.



I agree.  Perhaps you are making far too much of this.  Just because someone laughs at a casual comment doesn't mean they are not your friend.  Friends do not have to agree with everything you say or do  -- if so, none of us would have any friends.


----------



## Victor (Jan 23, 2017)

Yes you are probably right. It seemed very rude to me, though.

Also it doesn't explain on another day I suggested we all go out to the
couple's favorite  family restaurant, the guy laughed, also.

I  will not ask again.


Hmm..


----------



## Peanut (Jan 23, 2017)

Victor, 

I wouldn't worry too much about it, though i do understand where you're coming from and yes it does hurt when people laugh at you for no real apparent reason then deny it afterwards when confronted, that in my opinion is outright rude. Anyway i'm sure that eventually you will find some decent friends who won't shun you like these ones have. As much as there are cruel people in this world there are also some really nice ones too and the thing that most of us have to remember is that the people whom we least think of associating with are always the ones whom are the nicest and whom become life long friends. Good luck and all the best.


----------



## Victor (Jan 30, 2017)

I regard an actual friend as someone who does more than hangout with you at a club,
class, pub or whatever. They are willing to do things outside of this boundary, e.g.,
go to a restaurant, cafe, or some other activity. If they are are only willing to talk
with you at work at a close proximity or wherever you see them, are they true friends? If you never
came back to that scene, would they keep in touch? 

We will have different opinions on this.


----------



## Peanut (Jan 30, 2017)

Victor,

Real friends do everything with you from going out to dinner right through to joining you on family vacations. the people you work out with are not friends or at least i personally would not consider them to be as such. I know how lonely you must feel, we all feel that way in our lives at one stage or another it only seems worse when we are older.
It's very hard to suggest what you have available in your area as i don't really know your area nor circumstances. sorry that i can't be of any help.


----------



## Victor (Mar 15, 2017)

UPDATE:
               I decided to leave this group, indefinitely. (I may return occasionally).
Friendly on the surface, these people are tactless and insensitive to my physical limitations.
They enjoy laughing and smirking too much. You might expect this from teens, not
from seniors older than me. Enough is enough.


----------



## Ruthanne (Mar 15, 2017)

Victor said:


> UPDATE:
> I decided to leave this group, indefinitely. (I may return occasionally).
> Friendly on the surface, these people are tactless and insensitive to my physical limitations.
> They enjoy laughing and smirking too much. You might expect this from teens, not
> from seniors older than me. Enough is enough.


Have you tried exercising to youtube videos from home?  I am at a point where I don't like to be around a lot of people and found I can exercise in the comfort of my living room this way.  You may find some that are simple and not strenuous and can be useful for your physical limitations.  If you are interested just go to youtube.com and type in the type of exercises that interest you.  I usually look up "senior" and "beginner" exercises because that is what I need.  Best of luck to you with your exercise.


----------

