# Are You Getting More Crotchety The Older You Get?



## Phoenix (May 21, 2016)

At lunch today my husband, age 68, said that he is finding himself getting more and more cranky as time goes by. When I asked him why, he said because so many things aren't turning out right.  The body isn't working right- he had his colon removed two years ago, his kids in their forties turned into jerks in spite of his good efforts.  He's having trouble sleeping.  His back hurts a lot....  There's a list of things.  He's less tolerant he said.  I've been finding the same thing.  A couple of years ago I could more readily let them go.  But since his surgery everything has changed.  I think all those drugs to keep him knocked out for the lengthy surgery made a difference.

I'm wondering what experience everyone else has had, and how to gain a positive perspective even when things go haywire a lot. I do yoga and know all about self-behavior modification techniques.  Any ideas?


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## Guitarist (May 21, 2016)

I'm not getting more crochety -- other people are getting more annoying!   LOL


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## Ruthanne (May 21, 2016)

I just try to see the bright side of things if there are any, that is.  I can be cranky, too, at times and I don't even know why.  Maybe as we age our chemistry changes, too.  I know I don't have all the Estrogen I once had that is for sure.  I think it's best to try and have something fulfilling to do such as a hobby.  I got a guitar and need to start playing it.  I'm waiting for a burst of energy, though, and haven't had one yet.  lol


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## fureverywhere (May 21, 2016)

I'm not getting more crochety -- other people are getting more annoying!   LOL 

Yeah, I'll go with that...absolutely. I guess you might say I no longer suffer fools gladly. If someone obviously doesn't know what they're talking about or I need clarifying, then dang it all they are going to explain themselves. You get older and hopefully you know more. Our days are numbered, we have to speak up.

Interesting though, when we were a young couple hubby would regularly go all Sonny Corleone. It did scare me to say the least. My Dad was as aggressive as a field mouse. But as we've gotten older I understand the bark is worse than their bite idea. Hubby swearing to the high Heavens and I'll tell him to get a %&$ing grip...


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## Cookie (May 21, 2016)

Grumble, grumble, grumble..... sometimes I find people hard to take and steer clear until I'm in the mood for company. I know what I like and who I can handle and I'm much better now at setting boundaries.


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## jujube (May 21, 2016)

&%@)&! yes!


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## Phoenix (May 21, 2016)

You all just made me laugh.  Thanks.  I have hobbies.  I'm still writing books.  I don't just sit and stare at the wall or the boob tube.  I have purpose, but...and that's a big butt, I'm intolerant of lies.  They waste my time.  I'm sick of the games.  Don't want to deal with them.  I can be mellow, if no one bugs me.  I'd rather be alone than have that happen.  So I guess I'm not alone in being like this.  Yea!!!!!

jujube, I love your avatar.


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## Guitarist (May 21, 2016)

Sometimes I think the earth is like a big soccer ball.  It bangs a lot of people in the head and they think they're cool if they can knee it occasionally, but every time they try to grab it and hold onto it somebody blows the whistle on them.


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## Phoenix (May 21, 2016)

Guitarist said:


> Sometimes I think the earth is like a big soccer ball.  It bangs a lot of people in the head and they think they're cool if they can knee it occasionally, but every time they try to grab it and hold onto it somebody blows the whistle on them.



Okay, first we get rid of the whistle.  Then we do what I did when a guy I was dating tried to rape me when I was seventeen.  I kicked him in his.....  He never tried it after that.  Now, we just have to figure out how to generalize that to life's b.s..


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## Shalimar (May 21, 2016)

Crotchety? I don't think so. I no longer sweat the small stuff, but I am adept at setting boundaries now. Gentleness is a choice after all.


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## Ruth n Jersey (May 21, 2016)

I'm not getting more crotchety but I have become more set in my ways. I don't like change and prefer to just live a quiet life. I am a bit more mellow and one big change which I think is a plus is that I have become much less critical and judgmental. You do your thing,I'll do mine. Also I don't like spur of the moment plans. Never did never will. My kids are always telling me I should be more spontaneous. Whatever for?


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## Lon (May 21, 2016)

Crotchety?  No No No Not Me      ---I find that I have become more understanding, more tolerant, more interested, more intelligent, more engaging, more involved, more vital, more passionate, more humble. more honest.


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## Ruthanne (May 21, 2016)

Phoenix said:


> You all just made me laugh.  Thanks.  I have hobbies.  I'm still writing books.  I don't just sit and stare at the wall or the boob tube.  I have purpose, but...and that's a big butt, I'm intolerant of lies.  They waste my time.  I'm sick of the games.  Don't want to deal with them.  I can be mellow, if no one bugs me.  I'd rather be alone than have that happen.  So I guess I'm not alone in being like this.  Yea!!!!!
> 
> jujube, I love your avatar.


I Do stare at the boob tube a lot and occasionally the walls.  LOL.


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## nitelite (May 21, 2016)

Yes, I have found that I have crotchety moments but luckily they are not frequent.


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## ndynt (May 21, 2016)

Actually the opposite...have a "Oh well, sa la vie" response to most things.


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## Guitarist (May 21, 2016)

Ruthanne said:


> I Do stare at the boob tube a lot and occasionally the walls.  LOL.



Then you're better off than those who stare at lot at the boobs on the tube!  At least neither of us is climbing the walls ... yet.


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## ossian (May 22, 2016)

No, of course not! How dare you even suggest such a thing. I think that my nature has become much more mellow and understanding. Good grief, the nerve of some people............. 

Yes, I suppose I am. Although, I have a theory about this. I think that I have always been crotchety but simply made an effort to conceal it. Now that I am older, I don't give a damn.


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## chic (May 22, 2016)

Shalimar said:


> Crotchety? I don't think so. I no longer sweat the small stuff, but I am adept at setting boundaries now. Gentleness is a choice after all.



This is wise and very true. 

If yoga and breathing exercises don't help you to relax, setting boundaries should do the trick. At least there will be less to be upset about.


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## IKE (May 22, 2016)

Lon; said:
			
		

> I find that I have become more understanding, more tolerant, more interested, more intelligent, more engaging, more involved, more vital, more passionate, more humble. more honest.



I've become (or maybe always have been to a degree) just the exact opposite of Lon......as a 
aged Clint would say with a snarl, "Get Off My Lawn !"


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## Laurie (May 22, 2016)

I try!


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## Cookie (May 22, 2016)

I don't worked up about anything much anymore.... and don't put myself in some of the situations I got myself into when I was younger, so much less stress, and try to avoid those button pushers.


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## Ruthanne (May 22, 2016)

Guitarist said:


> Then you're better off than those who stare at lot at the boobs on the tube!  At least neither of us is climbing the walls ... yet.


Yes, I haven't begun to climb the walls....yet...lol.


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## Phoenix (May 22, 2016)

I always used to give people the benefit of the doubt, every time.  I was understanding, loving and compassionate and allowed them the lies they chose to tell.  I figured they had their reasons.  Finally I stopped trying to make relationships with these people.  That helps a lot.  But sometimes there they are anyway.  I remember a statement from the seventies, "It's easy to be an angel when no one ruffles your feathers."  Yes, how we react is a choice.  So often I usually keep my mouth shut, but that doesn't mean someone being awful to me is acceptable.  Sure I withdraw from it, but it takes a tole.  There are growing trees and rotting stumps, and I stay away from the rotting stumps as best I can.


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## Shalimar (May 22, 2016)

Yep. For whatever time I have left, I choose to spend it with the warm fuzzy people. Cold, manipulative, emotional vampires are sooo taxing, aren't they? Lol.


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## Ruthanne (May 22, 2016)

Shalimar said:


> Yep. For whatever time I have left, I choose to spend it with the warm fuzzy people. Cold, manipulative, emotional vampires are sooo taxing, aren't they? Lol.



That's why for the most part I keep to myself in my apt.


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## Phoenix (May 22, 2016)

Shalimar said:


> Yep. For whatever time I have left, I choose to spend it with the warm fuzzy people. Cold, manipulative, emotional vampires are sooo taxing, aren't they? Lol.



Sometimes the vampires are important to other people I care about, and they are hard to avoid.  But I agree with you.

Ruthanne, I get cabin fever that way.  But at least I live in the boonies in the middle of nature.


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## Ruthanne (May 22, 2016)

Phoenix said:


> Sometimes the vampires are important to other people I care about, and they are hard to avoid.  But I agree with you.
> 
> Ruthanne, I get cabin fever that way.  But at least I live in the boonies in the middle of nature.


I get out some Phoenix by taking my dog for walks.


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## Gail.S (May 22, 2016)

I wasn't crotchety when younger and I'm even less so now.


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## fureverywhere (May 22, 2016)




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## Phoenix (May 22, 2016)

fureverywhere said:


>



I like this.  We each have our own individual lives and a lot of variables as to why we react the way we do.  I think we are all doing the best we can.  Sometimes I want to sing and sometimes I want to do like the above.


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## Shalimar (May 22, 2016)

I think it really helps to have a well defined sense of the absurd.


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## Phoenix (May 22, 2016)

Amen to that.


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## fureverywhere (May 22, 2016)

I think one of the things we lose is that innocence...you know when you're a certain age and actually believe " Hey they can't do that!!!". At our age we know crap happens, no matter how unjust or ridiculous and all you can do is muddle through sometimes.


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## Phoenix (May 22, 2016)

fureverywhere said:


> I think one of the things we lose is that innocence...you know when you're a certain age and actually believe " Hey they can't do that!!!". At our age we know crap happens, no matter how unjust or ridiculous and all you can do is muddle through sometimes.



You're right on.  They do "do that."  Crap does happen and there is nothing we can do about it.  Did you play in mud puddles when you were a kid?  My cousins and I made mud pies.  Life is about making mud pies and convincing ourselves they are as good as apple or cherry.


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## debbie in seattle (May 22, 2016)

I find getting older = just not wanting to deal with the bullshot.........


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## Butterfly (May 22, 2016)

Guitarist said:


> Sometimes I think the earth is like a big soccer ball.  It bangs a lot of people in the head and they think they're cool if they can knee it occasionally, but every time they try to grab it and hold onto it somebody blows the whistle on them.



Yup -- sometimes I feel like Charlie Brown trying to kick that football and every time he thinks he's going to do it, Lucy grabs the ball away!


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## Butterfly (May 22, 2016)

Phoenix said:


> You're right on.  They do "do that."  Crap does happen and there is nothing we can do about it.  Did you play in mud puddles when you were a kid?  My cousins and I made mud pies.  Life is about making mud pies and convincing ourselves they are as good as apple or cherry.



Exactly.


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## Phoenix (May 23, 2016)

I told my husband of the exchanges here, that most people find as they are older that they are less willing to put up with things, and he said, "So we aren't the only ones."  I now understand why the old people I knew when I was young were the way they were.  Youth usually thinks it knows, and it rarely does.


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## Ameriscot (May 23, 2016)

Crotchety, naw.  I laugh more than when I was younger.  I enjoy that I don't have to be cool or in style and can be as weird as I want.  I love Scottish humour and I've learned how to give it back.  However, I am much less tolerant of the unfairness I see in the world - bigotry, racism, homophobia, Islamaphobia, narrow mindedness, hate speech.


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## Mrs. Robinson (May 23, 2016)

Ruthanne said:


> I'm waiting for a burst of energy, though, and haven't had one yet.  lol



I have a long list of things that I am waiting for that burst of energy to help me accomplish. I thought today might be the day-all I needed was an Advil first. Alas,someone took the last of it. I did find Advil PM but that would probably be counterproductive....


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## Guitarist (May 23, 2016)

Phoenix said:


> You're right on.  They do "do that."  Crap does happen and there is nothing we can do about it.  Did you play in mud puddles when you were a kid?  My cousins and I made mud pies.  Life is about making mud pies and convincing ourselves they are as good as apple or cherry.



Just don't try doing that on FB or you will get a bitter dose of reality!  One thing we can do about the crap that happens is to stay in away from where it's happening.  If you go out nowadays you won't step in dog crap anymore because people have to bag it and trash it, but there aren't any rules for bagging and trashing the crap people themselves drop in each other's paths.


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## Shalimar (May 23, 2016)

Hmm. It has been my experience that age often thinks it knows as well, usually with mixed results. Lol. For myself, I found life to be far less stressful since my conversion to doubt!


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## Shalimar (May 23, 2016)

My tolerance for social injustice is negligible, my tolerance for those whose world ends at the tip of their nose, nonexistent. Frankly, I don't care what you know, unless I know that you care. 'Nuff said.


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## fureverywhere (May 23, 2016)

I think as we get older we understand more what can pass under our personal radar and what can't. I mean I was thinking of that today with my daughter. She's reluctant to go on the school bus because of teasing. There is an adult monitor on the bus and all the students are special needs...gallows humor "Nah nah You're MORE special than us!". 

Come on now...but I tried to give her advice how to cope. When I was a kid I was bullied unmercifully but then I discovered books. Fine call me four eyes or nerd or whatever else you want to cackle about. My nose was in my book and I was somewhere else. Or she takes my MP3 player with her. Same thing, put in your ear buds and ignore them.

It's just hard I know...she's fifteen and maybe cognitively nine...sometimes a mix between. Even harder for her than me...but you have to try to grow a shell...that's all you can do. The joy of being senior is not giving a rat's backside about "fitting in" anymore


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## exwisehe (May 23, 2016)

I think I've gotten that way.  After the last few months, who wouldn't.  I've had a colonoscopy, 4 root canals at once, had to buy hearing aids (at the tune of $3800), had 2 visits to my Urologist (with rectal exams - aaagh) and also to my heart PA.  I don't think I'll make it out of this alive. Hey, I'm still riding my bicycle 50 miles a week, though.


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## Ruthanne (May 23, 2016)

Mrs. Robinson said:


> I have a long list of things that I am waiting for that burst of energy to help me accomplish. I thought today might be the day-all I needed was an Advil first. Alas,someone took the last of it. I did find Advil PM but that would probably be counterproductive....


I see I'm not the only one waiting for that burst of energy!  May we find it....somehow...somewhere...some way.


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## NancyNGA (May 23, 2016)

Don't think I was ever "crotchety."  More like what you might call having a "negative attitude," but that had to do more with my old job.  That seems to have gone away, thank goodness. Apparently I'm easier to get along with than I thought I was.   Never would have believed it, if I hadn't joined this forum.


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## Robusta (May 24, 2016)

Am I getting more crotchety, I guess it depends on your perspective.  I find as I age that I have no patience with liars and BS artists,(salesman, preachers, political activist from either pole)that assume that am stupid enough to believe their spiel,and therefore feel absolutely no responsibility or compunction respond to them with any measure of respect.


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## AprilT (May 24, 2016)

Why yes, yes I am. Ditto Robusta!


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## QuickSilver (May 24, 2016)

I'm not sure if I would call myself more crotchety.   I've just started caring less and less what other people think.... about ME.... or anything else for that matter..


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## Grumpy Ol' Man (May 24, 2016)

"Crotchety"??  Nah!  Non-patronizing... Impatient... Biased... Yes!!!  I am known as a very positive person.  The Good Lord has blessed my wife and I with excellent health, with three fantastic kids, and eight super grandkids.  We have been blessed to live in the very best Country on God's Green Earth and enjoy the freedoms and liberties afforded us here.  I try to be upbeat in my conversations. 

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.  Try to suggest your opinion overrules mine due to your intelligence, your religious views, your political views, etc. and you will witness my "negative" side.  I'm almost 70 years old.  We have made some errors in judgment over the years and hope to have learned from them.  I will make my OWN decisions, thank you, as to how I live my life.  Don't try to tell me what I need to buy, where I need to buy it, what I need to eat, are any other suggestion that I should well be able to figure out myself!!!

One of my best friends is extremely "church oriented".  They go to mass 6 days/week.  Their son is a priest.  He has learned, however, to not attempt to convince me of his religious based political opinions for I will argue back until he is so frustrated he gets mad.  It's not that I may disagree with him.  It's that I resent being told his "way" is the only way.  So, I'll argue just to agitate him!!!

I also get dismayed when folks who have been healthy all their lives retire and begin listening to those who always have something wrong with them.  Pretty soon, the healthy one thinks every sneeze is pneumonia... every cough is lung cancer... every ache is diabetes, etc., etc.  Again, a good friend was healthy as a horse.  Once she retired, she is the doctor's best customer.  She thought she had lung cancer.  Nope!  Well, it's got to be allergies.  After dozens more tests... Nope!  Still, she now wears a mask everywhere she goes and uses and inhaler and tells everyone she has COPD... even though none of the doctors she has seen know so.  She now has to have a totally bland diet.  Why?  Checked by a doctor for everything from gluten intolerance to acid reflux and nothing found.  Still, she will tell everyone she has all kinds of digestive issues.  She spends more time at the doctor than she does at home, trying to find something she can "tag" herself with at the morning coffee club.

Hmmm.... maybe I am "crotchety"..............


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