# Tips for managing stress



## Michael. (Dec 9, 2013)

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TIPS FOR MANAGING STRESS

1. Always take time for yourself, at least 30 minutes per day.

2. Be aware of your own stress meter: Know when to step back and cool down.

3. Concentrate on controlling your own situation, without controlling everybody else.

4. Daily exercise will burn off the stress chemicals.

5. Eat lots of fresh fruit, veggies, bread and water, give your body the best for it to perform at its best.

6. Forgive others, don't hold grudges and be tolerant -- not everyone is as capable as you.

7. Gain perspective on things, how important is the issue?

8. Hugs, kisses and laughter: Have fun and don't be afraid to share your feelings with others.

9. Identify stressors and plan to deal with them better next time.

10. Judge your own performance realistically; don't set goals out of your own reach.

11. Keep a positive attitude, your outlook will influence outcomes and the way others treat you.

12. Limit alcohol, drugs and other stimulants, they affect your perception and behaviour.

13. Manage money well, seek advice and save at least 10 per cent of what you earn.

14. No is a word you need to learn to use without feeling guilty.

15. Outdoor activities by yourself, or with friends and family, can be a great way to relax.

16. Play your favourite music rather than watching television.

17. Quit smoking: It is stressing your body daily, not to mention killing you too.

18. Relationships: Nurture and enjoy them, learn to listen more and talk less.

19. Sleep well, with a firm mattress and a supportive pillow; don't overheat yourself and allow plenty of ventilation.

20. Treat yourself once a week with a massage, dinner out, the movies: Moderation is the key.

21. Understand things from the other person's point of view.

22. Verify information from the source before exploding.

23. Worry less, it really does not get things completed better or quicker.

24. Xpress: Make a regular retreat to your favourite space, make holidays part of your yearly plan and budget.

25. Yearly goal setting: Plan what you want to achieve based on your priorities in your career, relationships, etc.

26. Zest for life: Each day is a gift, smile and be thankful that you are a part of the bigger picture.


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## That Guy (Dec 9, 2013)




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## drifter (Dec 9, 2013)

All my stress, if I had any, went away shortly after I retired.


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## SeaBreeze (Dec 9, 2013)

Good advice Michael...and great pic TG!


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## Old Hipster (Dec 10, 2013)

drifter said:


> All my stress, if I had any, went away shortly after I retired.


Oh I am hoping for that myself when the time comes, because other than my job, I don't have that much stress.


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## dbeyat45 (Dec 12, 2013)

Tip #27:  Marry the right person.  
:thankyou::woohoo1::clap::glitter-heart::heart:ld::glittered::sunshine:


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## Diwundrin (Dec 12, 2013)

Hadden said:


> Exercise specially yoga and meditation are the best techniques for managing the stress.
> Do yoga or meditation in your daily workout routine to handle the stress, depression, and anxiety.
> A healthy and nutritious diet plan is also very important along with these exercises for the better results.



That stressed me just reading it! 


 I don't do any of that stuff and I'm not stressed or anxious about anything.


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## SifuPhil (Dec 12, 2013)

Diwundrin said:


> That stressed me just reading it!
> 
> 
> I don't do any of that stuff and I'm not stressed or anxious about anything.



That you know of ...

Over the years I've encountered many people that came to my schools that swore they had zero stress, but within a few minutes I could usually discern little physical signs that they were indeed under some type of pressure in their life. Little things, like clenching the teeth and hands, improper postures, lack of basic coordination ... all tell-tales that they were sublimating their stress so well that even their brains were convinced they were happy and healthy and bursting with butterflies. 

I never liked pointing this out to them (actually, I enjoyed the heck out of it, but that's besides the point) but I like to think that it served as a wake-up call for them to change their lifestyles, mainly through the practice of Taiji.


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## Warrigal (Dec 12, 2013)

What was the common denominator for all the people who reported no stress on arrival but within a few minutes were clenching their teeth and showing other visible signs of stress?

layful: Hmmmn... Do we need Sherlock Holmes with a magnifying glass, or just a hand mirror??


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## SifuPhil (Dec 12, 2013)

Warrigal said:


> What was the common denominator for all the people who reported no stress on arrival but within a few minutes were clenching their teeth and showing other visible signs of stress?



Well, I was going on the assumption that everyone has _some_ level of stress - that was my starting point. 

The next consideration was their job or career - air-traffic controllers tend to be a bit more stressed than accountants. 

Then whether they were married and/or had children, were having a mid-life crisis or had experienced any of the usual major life-changing events lately - loss of a friend or family member, job change, relationship changes, financial turn-arounds, etc. Most of this oral history I could get them to relate within the first five minutes of meeting them. Then it was simply a matter of matching up the physical signs with the life situations. 



> layful: Hmmmn... Do we need Sherlock Holmes with a magnifying glass, or just a hand mirror??



I don't claim to be stress-free - as I said, everyone has some level of it - but my own level was always far lower than those that came to my schools.


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## SifuPhil (Dec 12, 2013)

The amount of stress you carry is also intimately related to your life-philosophy - how you see the world and react to it. 

Those who are religious, for example, often hide their stress beneath their religious traditions - praying, attending church, etc. Once those traditions and practices are "full-up" they usually find their stress manifesting in physical ways, which in turn affects their psychological responses to the world. 

If you are a Type A personality you are the model of stress - driven and competitive. You wear your stress as a badge of pride and often refuse to acknowledge any signs of its presence.

If you are a highly emotional person you are also most probably a stress-bank. 

Those who fret and worry about the future? Total stress-messes.


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## Diwundrin (Dec 12, 2013)

Isn't stress similarly mislabelled as an abnormal condition, like depression?  It depends on the levels of it as to whether it's a problem or not.  Without some degree of stress we'd be grinning vegetables.  Without some degree of depression about bad situations we'd be certifiable clowns.

What does your stress meter classify as a pass?  Someone who can impersonate a corpse?  Never exhibiting any form of seemingly involuntary or unnecessary movement at all?  Someone who has reached a level of 'zen' that can enable them to disconnect from life and disappear up their own tower of enlightenment?  Are those people having much fun?  Are they experiencing normal life?   Or escaping from it?

 I find my 'stress' at it's lowest I've ever known despite having more problems, less exercise, and a rapidly deteriorating level of nutritionally virtuous diet.  Hows that happen?

...never mind, I  simply stopped giving a toss and it did wonders for the contentment levels.


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## SifuPhil (Dec 12, 2013)

Diwundrin said:


> ...never mind, I  simply stopped giving a toss and it did wonders for the contentment levels.



There's your secret! 

No, you can go through life whichever way you choose: constantly go-go-go or prone to hibernating 8 months out of the year; Type A or Type Z-for-Zombie; getting bent out of shape and going on a killing spree because your left shoelace is untied, or maintaining equilibrium while the world is crashing down around you.

We all need a certain amount of stress, of course; the trick is to not exceed that amount. That's when it can become a certifiable medical condition, which in turn can manifest through such symptoms as depression. I do however disagree with your take on depression being needed for bad situations, but again it's an individual choice. 

One of my counseling clients was an avid lottery player, spending $100 or more every week and never seeming to win anything more than a free ticket for their efforts. They would go into a blue funk when they watched the evening news and the reading of the winning numbers, said funk lasting until the next afternoon, when they would buy their new tickets and come out of their depression for a few hours, lasting just until the next news broadcast. 

They had come to me to find out how to avoid such depression, and my suggestion was to change their perception of the lottery itself: get rid of the expectation of winning and they would get rid of the depression. When they asked me how they would know if they had won, I simply told them to consider that they had already lost and to only check the numbers once a week. Turns out this went a long way toward modulating their ups and downs, and over the course of the next year they gradually changed the way they looked at the lottery - from dramatic life-or-death sessions every night to a disinterested "Oh, well" every Saturday night. 

That was a far healthier approach than either depression every night or even the opposite, the constantly-happy, optimistic sort who never sees a single thing wrong in the world. Both extremes are dangerous and both leave one open to imbalances. 

Not that you've asked, but I'll volunteer my opinion on your latest technique ... if it works, good for you, but know that "not giving a toss" about _anything_ - apathy - can itself lead to problems. If as I suspect you mean you don't care what happens in the _outside_ world then that's a beast of a different color, as long as you still have a healthy level of self-esteem (which I believe you have in spades).

Sorry to ramble on - just flashing back to my old office days ...


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## That Guy (Dec 12, 2013)

Guy at work asked me why I never seemed stressed.  Told him the key is wanting to do a good job, trying to do a good job . . . until it becomes impossible.  Then, I say, "Screw it!"


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## TICA (Dec 12, 2013)

Is there such a thing as good stress?   Phil - you mentioned one of the triggers could be "job change".    I changed jobs about every two years during my working life and loved the excitement that went along with that.  Others who changed called it stress but to me it was wonderful stress.  It kept things interesting - I would have been bored staying in the same job for the whole 32 years.  The changes in jobs was all within the same employer so contributed to pension etc.


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## SifuPhil (Dec 12, 2013)

That Guy said:


> Guy at work asked me why I never seemed stressed.  Told him the key is wanting to do a good job, trying to do a good job . . . until it becomes impossible.  Then, I say, "Screw it!"



The Taoists call that "Investing in Loss" - you do the best you can  without knocking yourself out over it, and once you do your best and the  job is finished just forget about it and move on to the next job. You  "invest" in the possibility of the job being a failure ("loss") and in  the process you steel yourself in advance while still looking forward to  the next job.



TICA said:


> Is there such a thing as good stress?   Phil - you mentioned one of the triggers could be "job change".    I changed jobs about every two years during my working life and loved the excitement that went along with that.  Others who changed called it stress but to me it was wonderful stress.  It kept things interesting - I would have been bored staying in the same job for the whole 32 years.  The changes in jobs was all within the same employer so contributed to pension etc.



Job change for the right reasons - those that _you_ experienced - produce a positive type of "stress", and I use quotation marks because it's questionable whether that energy is actually stress at all - it's more like a motivational or a cleansing energy. But it also depends upon your own personality - since it's what you like and you perceive it as being a good experience it's going to be a positive type of stress.

But the person next to you might view such constant movement as unsettling and feel insecure and threatened, worrying about their future or a whole host of "what-if"s. For them the stress produced would be of the negative sort, the kind that leads to all those medical and mental problems. 

Now had you changed companies and lost all your vested pension funds and insurances then I'd be willing to bet that you'd view the moves in a very different light.

As always (and at least on a theoretical level, since I'm only human and have had my times of stress as well), how we perceive the world is a very powerful tool in remaining healthy both mentally and physically. The old saying about smiles using less muscles than frowns is correct physiologically speaking, but on a psychological level it goes so much deeper than that - it helps us deal with the big bad world in a way that is healthy and productive.


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## That Guy (Dec 12, 2013)

SifuPhil said:


> The Taoists call that "Investing in Loss" - you do the best you can  without knocking yourself out over it, and once you do your best and the  job is finished just forget about it and move on to the next job. You  "invest" in the possibility of the job being a failure ("loss") and in  the process you steel yourself in advance while still looking forward to  the next job.



 . . . Screw it!.


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## SifuPhil (Dec 12, 2013)

That Guy said:


> . . . Screw it!.



Basically, yeah, that's what it boils down to.


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## Ozarkgal (Dec 12, 2013)

Stress...what stress...I've been trying to complete an application for Obummercare for three days now. The website is as jacked as they say it is, and has caused me to resort to much huffing, puffing and swearing. Finally called their rescue line and the nice young man, who had a severe case of bronchitis tried his best to help me. He filled out an order for the IT department to check the problem and supposedly it should be working in about an hour....at least I'm stress free for an hour.


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## SifuPhil (Dec 12, 2013)

Another thing about stress ... by stressing-out about something you are giving power and importance to that thing, which is the _last_ thing you want to do. You wouldn't give a gun to mugger who only has a knife, so why help your stressors along by giving them something they don't deserve? 

Make them _work_ for their rewards - ignore them, or, if that's impossible, make fun of them. 

They HATE that!


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## Pappy (Dec 12, 2013)

When I was working, I remember having a little stress.


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## Ozarkgal (Dec 12, 2013)




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## Diwundrin (Dec 12, 2013)

> *Phil:*  Not that you've asked, but I'll volunteer my opinion on your latest  technique ... if it works, good for you, but know that "not giving a  toss" about _anything_ - apathy - can itself lead to problems. If as I suspect you mean you don't care what happens in the _outside_ world then that's a beast of a different color, as long as you still have a healthy level of self-esteem



Mmmm, that apathy thing happens a bit.  It morphs into procrastination and stuff doesn't get done that should but then the world still doesn't end.  I tend to leave things until the last tick of the timer but view that as about as exciting as life gets these days rather than seeing it as stress.
Thinking back I was always doing things like that, maybe I was a stress junkie and it was primarily self inflicted?  .... siiigh... too deep.

The lack of tosses about the 'outside' world thing is spot on.  Since I've found myself sidelined, and become a spectator, rather than a participant, I find many things I worried about are actually quite farcical when viewed from a distance.   I've discovered the joys of being a commentator and enjoying that far more than being a player. 



I know I've gained a far better insight into how things tick now than when I was thinking of them only from the narrow aspect of how they affected me personally.  Watching events unfold from a distance,  and 'seeing' the *why* of them rather than just the effects of them takes the stress factor out of play to some extent for me. 

 Life's become a game and there really isn't a prize for winning, we'll all be just chucked into the box when it's over whether we were the piece that was crowned or just a pawn.  Getting knocked off the board doesn't mean we can't still watch the game before we're boxed though does it?

Sure that could be construed as apathy but what does it matter?  My participation isn't necessary to make the world turn. 




'Screw it' covers the problem nicely.


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## SifuPhil (Dec 12, 2013)

Yeah, I _knew_ we were a lot alike ... 

I too enjoy watching more than participating - it suits my introspective / introverted nature. I made enough loud noises and spectacular, crowd-pleasing moves when I was still playing the game - now I'm content just to be the mascot on the side, munching on cheerleaders and enjoying myself.


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## Diwundrin (Dec 12, 2013)

Now that's what I'm talkin' about! 

 
What a classic.


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## drifter (Dec 12, 2013)

I think sometime we can be stressed out by the health of others, as I seem to be now. My daughter is going to have a stem-cell replacement next week and it has had me up tight for some time. Maybe because I don't know that much about it it, etc. I guess I'm hoping for the best outcome possible, with fingers crossed.


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## RedRibbons (Dec 12, 2013)

SifuPhil said:


> Another thing about stress ... by stressing-out about something you are giving power and importance to that thing, which is the _last_ thing you want to do. You wouldn't give a gun to mugger who only has a knife, so why help your stressors along by giving them something they don't deserve?
> 
> Make them _work_ for their rewards - ignore them, or, if that's impossible, make fun of them.
> 
> They HATE that!



Thank you. I really like that.


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## Vivjen (Jan 14, 2014)

Surely some stress is caused by situations out with your control, like Drifter.
once understanding can be reached, and /or the situation resolves itself for any number of reasons, some of the stress is lifted?


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