# Southerners



## Anne (Jul 23, 2013)

Only a true Southerner knows the difference between a 
"hissie fit" and a "conniption," and that you don't "have" 
them, so much as you "pitch' them. 

Nobody but a true Southerner knows how many fish, collard 
greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc. make up a mess. 

A true Southerner can show or point out to you the general 
direction of "yonder." 

A true Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, as 
in "Going to town, be back directly." 

Even true Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is 
not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that 
sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table. 

All true Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They 
might not use the term, but they know the concept well. 

True Southerners know instinctively that the best gesture of 
solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot 
fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. (If the 
trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large 
banana puddin'.) 

True Southerners grow up knowing the difference between 
"right near" and "a right far' piece." They know that "just 
down the road" can be one mile or twenty. 

True Southerners both know and understand the differences 
between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash. 

No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the 
flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn. 

True Southerners know that "fixin" can be used both as a 
noun, verb, and adverb. 

A true Southerner knows how to understand Southern: a booger 
can be a resident of the nose, a descriptive ("That ol' 
booger!") or something that jumps out at you in the dark and 
scares you spitless. 

True Southerners make friends standing in lines. We don't do 
"queues," we do "lines." And when we're in line, we talk to 
everybody. 

Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover 
they're related, if only by marriage. 

True Southerners never refer to one person as "y'all." 

True Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat 
them. 

Every true Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, 
grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that redeye gravy 
is also a breakfast food; that fried green tomatoes are not 
breakfast food. 

When you hear someone say, "Well, I called myself lookin'," 
you know you're in the presence of a genuine Southerner. 

Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea 
indicates the need for sugar and lots of it - we do not like 
our tea unsweetened; "sweet milk" means you don't want 
buttermilk. 

And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at 
little old ladies who drive 30 on the freeway. You say, 
"Bless her heart" and go your way.


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## Anne (Jul 23, 2013)

A Southerner Will NEVER Say . . .
We don't keep firearms in this house.

Has anybody seen the sideburn trimmer?
You can't feed that to the dog.

I thought Graceland was tacky.

No kids in the back of the pick-up, it's not safe.
Wrasslin's fake.

Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?

We're vegetarians.

Do you think my hair is too big?

I'll have grapefruit instead of a bowl of gravy.

Honey, these bonsai trees need watering?

Give me the SMALL bag of pork rinds.

Deer heads detract from the decor.

Spitting is such a nasty habit.

I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.

Trim the fat off that steak.

Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.

The tires on that truck are too big.

I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.

I've got it all on a floppy disk.

Unsweetened tea tastes better.

Would you like your fish poached or broiled?

My fiancee, Paula Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.

Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.

Checkmate.

Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?

Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.

I don't have a favorite college team.

I believe you cooked those green beans too long.

Elvis who?

Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.


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## Anne (Jul 23, 2013)

TWHRider said:


> Speaking as a Yankee who moved south of the Mason-Dixon ten years ago, I can attest to the truth in both posts, and I had to learn all that.
> 
> Throw in some horse terms that do not mean in the South what they mean in the North and it took me a long time to learn how to talk again:bananalama:



Hello, fellow Yankee!!  We've been here about 15 years now, and still learning    horse terms just lately.


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