# Perfect Is The Enemy Of Good



## grahamg (Apr 24, 2020)

*Why Perfect Is The Enemy Of Good*
*Why obsession with perfection can paralyze*

Quote:
"The irony, of course, is that while "perfect" may exist as a concept that impels us to keep trying to better our work, any judgment that we've achieved it in any particular instance remains entirely subjective and therefore by definition imperfect. This almost certainly explains why we can judge something perfect one minute and then hopelessly flawed the next without making a single change.

The quest for perfection also leads to dithering: the endless reworking of a sentence or a melody or a sculpture from its original form until it comes full circle back to the form in which we originally laid it down. That trying out other possible forms may be the only way we become convinced that the original was, in fact, best, it wastes time and feels more like an itch we need to scratch than an effective creative process. And this, of course, presumes we're able to make it back around to a form we even consider good, so confused is our judgment often made by this ruminative process. More commonly, we don't so much finish a project as abandon it, not knowing what else to do to salvage it from the wreckage our own obsessive tinkering has produced.

And when we finally return to it later, we often find time away from it was the only thing that actually had the power to grant us what we most need: an improved ability to judge its quality objectively. And if we're lucky we see, sometimes in a flash that lasts only a split second, not how to make it perfect but how to make it work.


Our development as a creator of good works must at some point involve us learning how to leverage our desire for perfection to impel us toward quality without becoming trapped in a miasma of permanent dissatisfaction with everything we create. At some point, we must remind ourselves, any changes we make to a creation no longer make it better but just different (and sometimes worse)."

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/happiness-in-world/201106/why-perfect-is-the-enemy-good


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## Em in Ohio (Apr 24, 2020)

grahamg said:


> *Why Perfect Is The Enemy Of Good*
> *Why obsession with perfection can paralyze*
> 
> Quote:
> ...


That's exactly what my high school art teacher told me!  I 'over-worked' everything, trying to make drawings and paintings that were photorealistic.  Duh.  Ruined almost everything.  Bought a camera!


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## Knight (Apr 25, 2020)

I wouldn't rule out wanting perfection, especially if it had to do with a life saving surgery. I'd rather a surgical team looked down & all agreed the operation was perfection instead of "I guess that's good enough".


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## grahamg (Apr 25, 2020)

Knight said:


> I wouldn't rule out wanting perfection, especially if it had to do with a life saving surgery. I'd rather a surgical team looked down & all agreed the operation was perfection instead of "I guess that's good enough".



I agree those new heart valves they fitted, or whatever, had better be a perfect fit, and not leak, but if they took too long to fit them you might not recover from the anaesthetic either!


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## Knight (Apr 25, 2020)

grahamg said:


> And when we finally return to it later, we often find time away from it was the only thing that actually had the power to grant us what we most need: an improved ability to judge its quality objectively. And if we're lucky we see, sometimes in a flash that lasts only a split second, not how to make it perfect but how to make it work.


Taking to long would be when a return was not only expected but needed because failure was beyond "good enough".


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## Just Jeff (Jun 9, 2022)

grahamg said:


> I agree those new heart valves they fitted, or whatever, had better be a perfect fit, and not leak, but if they took too long to fit them you might not recover from the anaesthetic either!





grahamg said:


> The quest for perfection also leads to dithering


 perhaps it does , yes.
How about the quest for truth instead ? 

Like me and others in the last two or three years discovered about "or whatever"  - not sure about heart valves -  but stints put in the heart/ one to four stints depending on the surgeons 'choice'?  Instead of doing what is proven better and safer ?   
And then, if stints are implanted,  what about finding out a much better alternative to the surgeon's prescription of a potentially dangerous and possibly fatal drug ? 

i.e. the surgeon's work might be 'perfect' as a surgery goes,  but would you call it perfect if you found out there was a much better way already known and proven ?


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## grahamg (Jun 9, 2022)

Just Jeff said:


> perhaps it does , yes.
> How about the quest for truth instead ?
> Like me and others in the last two or three years discovered about "or whatever"  - not sure about heart valves -  but stints put in the heart/ one to four stints depending on the surgeons 'choice'?  Instead of doing what is proven better and safer ?
> And then, if stints are implanted,  what about finding out a much better alternative to the surgeon's prescription of a potentially dangerous and possibly fatal drug ?
> i.e. the surgeon's work might be 'perfect' as a surgery goes,  but would you call it perfect if you found out there was a much better way already known and proven ?


I do know a surgeon, perhaps I should ask her, (though she may not like my asking, as its my estranged daughter I'm referring to!).


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## Just Jeff (Jun 9, 2022)

grahamg said:


> I do know a surgeon, perhaps I should ask her, (though she may not like my asking, as its my estranged daughter I'm referring to!).


Asking might not hurt,  and might not help, depending on who you ask and if they are permitted to answer rightly.  
An internet search , duckduckgo or ggl,  may yield better and more revealing results,  and as always,   caveat emptor 'buyer beware' - i.e. don't accept anything without testing it and proving it first, from anyone.


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## Blessed (Jun 9, 2022)

Good God, Help me, Help us all!


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## Em in Ohio (Jun 9, 2022)

Em in Ohio said:


> That's exactly what my high school art teacher told me!  I 'over-worked' everything, trying to make drawings and paintings that were photorealistic.  Duh.  Ruined almost everything.  Bought a camera!


We may have had the same art teacher!  Mine said the same thing until the day that I forgot to prepare a project and so I nailed a paint rag to the end of a wood crate and got my first "A" from him!  (I also turned to photography!)


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## grahamg (Jun 9, 2022)

Just Jeff said:


> Asking might not hurt,  and might not help, depending on who you ask and if they are permitted to answer rightly.
> An internet search , duckduckgo or ggl,  may yield better and more revealing results,  and as always,   caveat emptor 'buyer beware' - i.e. don't accept anything without testing it and proving it first, from anyone.


There may just be a chances doing internet searches to find information you feel confident enough to decide you can trust as you go into cardiac arrest won't be upper most on ones mind, hence "caveat emptor" may have to be put to one side for once!


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## jimintoronto (Jun 9, 2022)

Just Jeff said:


> perhaps it does , yes.
> How about the quest for truth instead ?
> 
> Like me and others in the last two or three years discovered about "or whatever"  - not sure about heart valves -  but stints put in the heart/ one to four stints depending on the surgeons 'choice'?  Instead of doing what is proven better and safer ?
> ...


The word is stent, not stint. JimB.


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## John cycling (Jun 9, 2022)

Just Jeff said:


> stents put in the heart/ one to four stents depending on the surgeons 'choice'?  Instead of doing what is proven better and safer ?



One of my best friends who was in his early 50's, in great condition and who certainly didn't need one, mistakenly went to a cardiologist and had a stent put in.  Three months later his wife called and said that while he was playing with his young son in the front yard that morning that he had collapsed and was dead.

A charlatan is a person practicing quackery or a similar confidence trick in order to obtain money, fame, or other advantages through pretense or deception.  Antonio Fauci has personally made billions of dollars since early 2020.

Many years ago a neighbor was helping me with a project.  When done I said "perfect!"  He said "not perfect, good enough!" Wise words, as good enough is a much more reasonable standard to strive for than perfect, and perfect is not always good.

@Em in Ohio, you apparently don't understand the topic.
Do you think charlatans are perfect, or good, and which do YOU feel would be better?
@Em in Ohio, you posted about drawings, paintings and buying cameras.   
I feel my examples are better, and what I post is my choice not yours.  Wow, controlling much.


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## Em in Ohio (Jun 9, 2022)

John cycling said:


> A charlatan is a person practicing quackery or a similar confidence trick in order to obtain money, fame, or other advantages through pretense or deception.  Antonio Fauci has personally made billions of dollars since early 2020.


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## Just Jeff (Jun 9, 2022)

John cycling said:


> Do you think charlatans are perfect, or good, and which do YOU feel would be better?


One of the most common causes of death in the usa for fifty or more years has been charlatans, legally and officially practicing,  like on your friend who passed away three months after.   The work done on their heart might be called "perfect" or "good" or "right" or "correct",  even though so many deaths occur.   Is this , overall,  "good" then,  or "perfect",  or other ?


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## Just Jeff (Jun 9, 2022)

grahamg said:


> There may just be a chances doing internet searches to find information you feel confident enough to decide you can trust as you go into cardiac arrest won't be upper most on ones mind, hence "caveat emptor" may have to be put to one side for once!


The time is now,  not after a problem gets critical,  to find out.    Two acquaintances just in the last two years or so said they had heart attacks and were rushed to er in an abulance(sic) and put under and sts were put in without asking if that was their choice or not.  Afterwards, they each independently discovered by searching the procedure was not only not needed, but costing near $200,000.00 was obviously a choice made for the money,  nor for their health.


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## Em in Ohio (Jun 9, 2022)

John cycling said:


> One of my best friends who was in his early 50's, in great condition and who certainly didn't need one, mistakenly went to a cardiologist and had a stent put in.  Three months later his wife called and said that while he was playing with his young son in the front yard that morning that he had collapsed and was dead.
> 
> A charlatan is a person practicing quackery or a similar confidence trick in order to obtain money, fame, or other advantages through pretense or deception.  Antonio Fauci has personally made billions of dollars since early 2020.
> 
> ...


The OP topic was "perfect is the enemy of good."  It had nothing to do with cardiac conditions or charlatans or Fauci.


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## grahamg (Jun 9, 2022)

Blessed said:


> Good God, Help me, Help us all!


"You called"!, (no, not really, my delusions haven't reached that peak yet!  ).

Moving back to the thread topic, and OP argument, (and apologies if anything I say is a repeat performance, so long ago did this thread start), but being " the perfect mum", or "everything to your child" is a characteristic I think I can fairly say I recognise.

It was pretty much the way my ex behaved, (and it could be argued its paid dividends!), and she could well argue my parenting style wasn't up to much!

However, echoing what has been said on a thread elsewhere on the forum, perhaps there is a real difference in intent between what some fathers like myself expect to give to our child, and maybe most mothers will try to give or be to their children(?)


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## Blessed (Jun 10, 2022)

grahamg said:


> "You called"!, (no, not really, my delusions haven't reached that peak yet!  ).
> 
> Moving back to the thread topic, and OP argument, (and apologies if anything I say is a repeat performance, so long ago did this thread start), but being " the perfect mum", or "everything to your child" is a characteristic I think I can fairly say I recognise.
> 
> ...



My statement was not directed at you or the topic in your thread.  It was regarding a comment someone posted that I thought was ridiculous.


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## timoc (Jun 10, 2022)

Perfect Is The Enemy Of Good​
Graham, there's a Perfectly Good answer to this, give me a few minutes and I'll think of it.


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## grahamg (Jun 10, 2022)

Blessed said:


> My statement was not directed at you or the topic in your thread.  It was regarding a comment someone posted that I thought was ridiculous.


Yes I knew that, (it was just my attempt at humour by picking up on your post!  ).


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## Tish (Jun 10, 2022)

Ah, but what one person views as perfect can be far different from what another person considers it to be.


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## Just Jeff (Jun 13, 2022)

Tish said:


> Ah, but what one person views as perfect can be far different from what another person considers it to be.


Remembering the Nazis in Germany did all they could to totally change what people, including little children,  thought was "good" 
to suit their own purposes, agenda, and contemptible and devious goals of destroying families and gaining control of everyone's minds within three generations. - they 'knew' or figured they could not get all the adults on their side in just one generation,  so they introduced insidious lies into forced education daily,  repeated perhaps hundreds of times per day.


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## Lavinia (Jun 13, 2022)

There is a problem when someone thinks they are perfect and can see no fault in themselves. Whenever things they go wrong, they blame everyone but themselves.


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## Tish (Jun 13, 2022)

@Just Jeff, Actually, I believe the Nazis not only tried to eradicate races of people, I believe they tried to remove the history of a particular race, which was evident in Poland where they built concentration camps on top of two Jewish cemeteries and used the headstones to line their streets.
It always amazed me when it came down to the Nuremberg trials how many of them used the excuse of just following orders


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## Just Jeff (Jun 13, 2022)

Tish said:


> It always amazed me when it came down to the Nuremberg trials how many of them used the excuse of just following orders


Humans can be amazing and shocking , yes.
In the usa many soldiers have said the same thing "just following orders",
and many doctors and ceos/heads of phara companies/  have said that also - "just complying with /the rules/....." or "everything we did was "legal" "   when many people died at their hands.

They call 'collateral damage' /people dying or getting lifetime sick/ GOOD 

and accept that instead of PERFECT which would be "first of all do NO HARM" .


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## OneEyedDiva (Jun 13, 2022)

Thank you for posting this. I shared it with my middle grandson who has bi-polar disorder. We had just had a conversation about the pitfalls of trying to be perfect. I had to talk to him about that because he was very depressed over it, thinking he isn't following Islam perfectly or being perfect with other things in his life. I told him that humans will never be perfect or else we'd be gods (of course we only believe in one God), and that's why we ask forgiveness in every prayer. I let him know he is an awesome, worthy, brilliant young man who has a wonderful heart and is doing the best he can so shouldn't be so hard on himself. So the article was right on time!


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## Em in Ohio (Jun 13, 2022)

As a child, my mother did not tolerate imperfection from me, nor my father.  I was not raised to learn by the trial and error method, which is the normal way to learn. (Hence the lifelong pattern of verbal abuse:  "What's wrong with you?  Why can't you be like Susan? Can't you do anything right?  You're just like your father.")

We can't color within the lines or cut perfect circles the first time we try.  Expecting this defeats a person's will to try, so that we never learn to accept our failures and learn from our mistakes.


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## Packerjohn (Jun 13, 2022)

We are all human and we all make mistakes.  Perfect is pure BULL!  It seems to me to be some form of human control.  It's like that old bull about you giving 110% effort into your job.  What crap.  You can give only 100% not 110 or 130 or whatever.  Some days your up; other days your down.  Life is never perfect.


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## Just Jeff (Jun 18, 2022)

Packerjohn said:


> We are all human and we all make mistakes.  Perfect is pure BULL!  It seems to me to be some form of human control.  It's like that old bull about you giving 110% effort into your job.  What crap.  You can give only 100% not 110 or 130 or whatever.  Some days your up; other days your down.  Life is never perfect.


Conundrum - the word "perrfect"  may not be nor mean what it seems to ...

How many times did someone say "OH what a PERFECT baby ? "  
Or "He's a PERFECT football player ? " 
Or "They had a PERFECT strategy ? "


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## dseag2 (Jun 18, 2022)

My mother and father were both perfectionists, and I found myself continually striving to be the same.  As I've gotten older, I've realized that perfection is unattainable and we are who were are... warts and all.  

IMO perfection is the enemy of good in that it causes people to be self-obsessed and limits what they can contribute to others.  We should just try to be the best versions of ourselves.


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