# Is Learned Helplessness the Next Educational Goal?



## MercyL (Jun 21, 2013)

I work with elementary aged students, periodically.

Springtime arrived, this year, and I broke out my summer weight clothing. I have a great little blouse that I love wearing, so that was the first shirt I put on for the next day.

One of the students in the class complemented me on my blouse and asked where I bought it. I told them that I made it, which I did. It's a sweet little Simplicity pattern that I want to use for more shirts, if I can save up for sari material...but I digress.

The student did not believe me, so I added that I also made the jewelry in my hair - a chignon fork with beads - and the bracelet I had on - blue and green cloisonne beads on copper wire. Again, the student was aghast at the thought of my being so creative that I could string beads on wire.

I find that disturbing.

Now, I remember my maternal grandmother making nightgowns for myself and my sister, using old newspaper to sketch out the basic shape of each gown. These children have no one in their lives who sews, beads, crochets....you get the drift. I think today's students are not only missing out on the sense of accomplishment that comes with wearing items you have made with your own hands. 

I worry that our country has successfully trained the creativity out of high school students, and intends to slowly expand the march toward learned helplessness into the 1st and 2nd grades.

We can better understand the changes within our own borders by listening to how the under 15 crowd defines "normal", "possible", and "desirable". Making your own clothing and jewelry was not normal for the student I talked with just as cooking a chicken stew, from scratch, was a new concept for one of my neighbors.

Do you talk with young people often? If so, do you see or hear evidence of learned helplessness?


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## JustBonee (Jun 21, 2013)

My daughter's 14 year old step-daughter took Home Ec in school this past year, and I remember her sewing a cute skirt- top outfit in class.  They still do offer these classes to kids, sewing, cooking.  How many are interested I wouldn't know.  Family,  and friends especially,  probably do influence what they think is important in their lives.
My 5 yr. old granddaughter LOVES to go to Hobby Lobby and pick up projects to do.  She (we) made pot holders for her mother for Mother's Day.  Hope the interest in learning things stays with her as she gets older.

The new 'normal' for kids, in general,  seems to be how wired they can be.  The high tech age is dumbing down the brains of kids.  There are studies on-going about what is happening.


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## That Guy (Jun 21, 2013)

Excellent observation, MercyL and congrats on the blouse and jewelry.  Yes, I fear it is just a sign of the continued dumbing down . . .


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## SifuPhil (Jun 21, 2013)

I think it is also largely the fault of a society that places a premium on consumption, not creation. Everything is throw-away, instant, fast and easy. Sound bites. Web sites that have to catch the attention within 3 seconds. 

Cartoons used to actually have a plot of sorts. You could follow the logical progression of the story. Now cartoons are all flash, bang, loud and obnoxious. No plot, no story, just pretty colors and lots of movement.

Phone doesn't work? Throw it away and get a new one. Computer? Same thing. Marriage not working? Here's a quickie divorce. Gizmos of all sorts are designed to _*not*_ last. Credit cards. Debit cards. Buy now, pay later.

Decreased expectations - give a child an award for breathing. Praise them for not slaughtering their classmates. Dumb down the material so the kids pass so the schools get that State and Federal funding.

It's all "of a piece" - it's all interconnected. Poor parenting is just the tip of the iceberg.


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## That Guy (Jun 21, 2013)

I could not agree with you more, SifuPhil.  Well said.


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## Anne (Jun 21, 2013)

I think Phil's got it right, too - planned obsolescence.  It's easier to toss something than try to repair it yourself, or throw old clothing away and buy new, than create something else out of it.   Who has time or even knows how to do some of that anymore??

Most of us have had it easier than our parents; more jobs available for more pay, and I suppose our attitudes got passed on to our children...some of us wanted our kids to have things we didn't have; and rather than instill a 'work for it' belief in them, we sometimes just bought them what we thought they should have or what they wanted.   
I do think things are turning around, however slowly...more people are home-schooling, and the kids are coming up with better grades than those only going to public schools.  Seems like good old common sense is returning, and hopefully in the future, we'll see better leaders because of it.  

And as Phil says, we have to stop coddling the children.  Seems they can't experience hurt feelings anymore...there's no winners or losers in sports, you're ok just for trying.  How on earth will they survive in the real world if they can't stand to have their feelings hurt??!!  Let's not make life too easy; it isn't, and we've all learned that.


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## That Guy (Jun 21, 2013)

As we went overboard protecting hurt feelings I do not want to see us go too far back the other way and start treating kids with hurt feelings as cry babies.  There's a good balance in boosting esteem and facing disappointments.  Everyone should be allowed to try and encouraged to succeed and not ridiculed for failing.  Life is hard but it doesn't mean we need to be hard on kids.  I just know from my childhood on through adolescence I wanted somebody to be on my side for a change...


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## Anne (Jun 22, 2013)

I agree with you there too, That Guy.  I never was happy with people saying 'boys don't cry', for example.  They can, and they do, and I don't see anything wrong with teaching them to show their feelings.   If anyone is taught from an early age that they shouldn't show those feelings, they will eventually show them by striking out...behind anger, too often, there is fear.
It's important to talk to kids, too - if they're not good at sports, there will be something else they can do and excell at; it just might come later in life.  Heaven knows, I still haven't found anything I'm really great at,  but maybe it's something I've just not found yet, or haven't had time to work on.  They need to know we have faith in them and love them, whatever happens.


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## JustBonee (Jun 22, 2013)

SifuPhil said:


> I think it is also largely the fault of a society that places a premium on consumption, not creation. Everything is throw-away, instant, fast and easy. Sound bites. Web sites that have to catch the attention within 3 seconds.
> 
> Cartoons used to actually have a plot of sorts. You could follow the logical progression of the story. Now cartoons are all flash, bang, loud and obnoxious. No plot, no story, just pretty colors and lots of movement.
> 
> ...



Yes, this instant gratification is making for a very unhappy society.  
Just looking at the news weekly...  kids having depression because they don't have as many friends as someone else on Facebook!  Their lives are ruined!!!
Those Hollywood types, with the world at their feet, attempting suicide! 

Kids need role models. If their parents and teachers aren't giving the proper support, they only feed off of each other.  
It ain't pretty .. actually it's scary!


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## FishWisher (Jun 22, 2013)

Perhaps I've posted this before, but nothing tells the story of cluelessness (the root word of helplessness) like Bill Whittle does so well in this short video:


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## That Guy (Jun 22, 2013)

Thanks for posting that, FishWisher.  A little extreme but ol' Bill makes a good point.  Yet, I take serious issue with any fool who loves Monsanto, BP and the like.  Mister Whittle needs a wake-up call, himself.


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## FishWisher (Jun 22, 2013)

That Guy said:


> Thanks for posting that, FishWisher.  A little extreme but ol' Bill makes a good point.  Yet, I take serious issue with any fool who loves Monsanto, BP and the like.  Mister Whittle needs a wake-up call, himself.



Different strokes for different folks, I reckon. I love corporations; they supply the the vast majority of my day to day stuff, they make life better, and if you invest in them, they'll make you money!


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## SifuPhil (Jun 22, 2013)

Paints with a pretty broad brush, I'd say - acts as if he knows everyone in the pictures. He's as lop-sided as the people he rants against.


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## R. Zimm (Jun 24, 2013)

Another aspect of Phil's elucidationary post is the "labeling" of everyone basically to justify some government program to help them and the buildings full of paper pushers to manage the paperless online applications.


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