# Caring for a new baby in my home



## C_Sally (Aug 1, 2018)

The day my grand-nephew was born his mother, my nephew's gf, tested positive for meth and my nephew, baby's father, has a past history of domestic violence against his mother (my sister). The baby was born healthy except for a tiny hole in his heart, but CPS took him only hours after his birth. I don't know yet if he tested positive for meth, I only know he was not born addicted.

The baby had been housed at a receiving home for three weeks before I found out about this. I'd noticed my sister wasn't talking about him on Facebook, or posting his picture. Odd because the little guy is her first grandchild. So I called her and got the story, and volunteered to take him in. Within four days CPS completed a background check, I'd been interviewed by phone and in person, had a home inspection, and lastly, delivery of the baby. Meantime I bought a bassinet, a car-seat and other necessities, and rearranged my bedroom. I got help from two of my grandchildren and a neighbor.

I have only one bedroom but it has a small alcove. My bureau once sat there. Now it's a mini nursery, complete with a cute dinosaur poster. 

That's how a newborn came to live with me, for a while anyway. I wanted to go into how life has changed here, but now he's waking from his nap.


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## Lara (Aug 1, 2018)

Well, this story is really something. The alcove being so close to you sounds perfect. You'll be able to hear him and easily tend to his needs. He'll feel safe and secure there too. Sounds like you have a supportive grandchild and neighbor. It's so selfless of you to let this change your life so much for his sake. He will be in my prayers for his health issues. Thank you for stepping up to the plate for this precious little life.


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## RadishRose (Aug 1, 2018)

Totally agree with Lara. Sally, you're a special person!


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## hollydolly (Aug 1, 2018)

WoW!! what a good hearted person you are, but I presume your sister didn't take the baby for fear of her son coming to the house and the domestic violence  , do you expect any problems from either your nephew or his girlfriend for fostering the baby?..


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## C_Sally (Aug 1, 2018)

hollydolly said:


> WoW!! what a good hearted person you are, but I presume your sister didn't take the baby for fear of her son coming to the house and the domestic violence  , do you expect any problems from either your nephew or his girlfriend for fostering the baby?..



My sister was not allowed to foster the baby because her son (my nephew) and his gf (the mother) live with her. They are renting a part of her home. They visit the baby twice weekly for 2 hrs. My nephew is a nice person with a short temper who was using drugs and says he's been clean for abt 8 mo. I am still getting to know his gf. She's not someone I'd intentionally befriend or hang out with, but she's very loving and tender with baby...sings to him, rocks him, takes pictures, etc. They always bring clothes or diapers or formula. 

Still and all, it will be extremely difficult for me if / when baby is reunited with them. I've become very attached.


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## jujube (Aug 1, 2018)

Sally, you're an angel and a saint.  The world needs more people like you.


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## C_Sally (Aug 1, 2018)

My volunteering to take the baby was impulsive. I couldn't bear the thought of him being in a receiving home where caregivers do an 8 hr shift and then going to a foster home. I didn't really think it over. Once the decision was made to place him here, I wondered if I could even remember how to mother an infant. Did I still have the skills? Turns out I do! I can hardly believe it. I can still cook, change a diaper, prepare a bottle of formula and make a bed all at the same time, and all in under 20 minutes. 

Those old maternal skills aren't dead yet. Maybe they never die. I'm kind of flabbergasted.

I have lost some sleep but I feel very energized since baby moved in. And I'm retired. I can rest at every opportunity. So I let the housework slide while I sit with my feet up. That's a major change. I'm really persnickety about housekeeping. Or, I was. And when I do the housework I'm fast and efficient but thorough, like I was 20-30 years ago. 

There's baby stuff in every room. I love it when baby goes to sleep but I love it more when he wakes up. I take a 10 minute shower whenever someone comes over. Usually only twice a week. I'm 66 and I smell like Enfomil and baby oil, and I'm ok with that.


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## SeaBreeze (Aug 1, 2018)

Sally, you're very kind for taking him in and loving him, I really admire you for that.  I hope the hole in his heart doesn't negatively affect his health very badly in the future.  Good luck taking care of the little one. :love_heart:


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## C_Sally (Aug 1, 2018)

SeaBreeze said:


> Sally, you're very kind for taking him in and loving him, I really admire you for that.  I hope the hole in his heart doesn't negatively affect his health very badly in the future.  Good luck taking care of the little one. :love_heart:



TY very much. We will see his cardiologist next week. The pediatrician said it is probably healing on its own, often the case, however the specialist will keep it monitored.


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## jujube (Aug 1, 2018)

C_Sally said:


> My volunteering to take the baby was impulsive. I couldn't bear the thought of him being in a receiving home where caregivers do an 8 hr shift and then going to a foster home. I didn't really think it over. Once the decision was made to place him here, I wondered if I could even remember how to mother an infant. Did I still have the skills? Turns out I do! I can hardly believe it. I can still cook, change a diaper, prepare a bottle of formula and make a bed all at the same time, and all in under 20 minutes.
> 
> Those old maternal skills aren't dead yet. Maybe they never die. I'm kind of flabbergasted.
> 
> ...



There's an old poem that goes something like this.  I don't know who the author is:

Cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow, 
but babies grow up, as we've learned to our sorrow. 

So quiet down cobwebs and dust go to sleep. 
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.


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## DGM (Aug 2, 2018)

jujube said:


> There's an old poem that goes something like this.  I don't know who the author is:
> 
> 
> "but babies grow up, as we've learned to our sorrow"..........As I have always said "little kids:  Little problems.  Big kids:  Big  problems"
> .


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## RadishRose (Aug 2, 2018)

What a life change! It's all good.


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## hearlady (Aug 6, 2018)

This story brings years. You and the baby have each been given a gift. I salute you Sally!


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## moviequeen1 (Aug 6, 2018)

Hi Sally,what a thoughtful,caring person you are to take care of your grand nephew. You deserve the'Mother of the Year Award' Sue


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## DaveA (Aug 6, 2018)

jujube said:


> There's an old poem that goes something like this.  I don't know who the author is:
> 
> Cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow,
> but babies grow up, as we've learned to our sorrow.
> ...



And there's a lot of truth in that little poem.  We've worked our way through kids, grandkids and now great grands.  They are a delight and the years do slip by very rapidly.  For many of us, the child that you rocked and cuddled with many years ago is now being called grampa and/or gramma when at family gatherings.  At these gatherings I sometimes turn my head to respond when some little voice says, "Grandpa" and then I realize the little one is addressing my son.


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