# Sifuphil Is now in The Hot Seat!



## boozercruiser (Mar 14, 2016)

_

1. VickyNightowl has now left The Hot Seat.
_2. Ameriscot has now left The Hot Seat.
_3. Ina has just left The Hot Seat
__
*4. Sifuphil is now in The Hot Seat

*_5. Ralphy 
_6. Boozercruiser
7. Pappy
8. Hanfonius
9. Lydiag 
10. Gail.s
11. Arachne
12. Bobw235
13. Whatinthe 
14. Shalimar
15. Lon
16. Mariana
17. fureverywhere
18. Cheshire Cat_


Just in case anyone is not aware yet what this thread is all about...

This thread is for people to either offer, or be nominated by another member to go into The HOT Seat, so we can possibly find out more about our friends here. Once in that 'hot seat' so to speak, the idea is for other members to ask that person questions about their life and interests in general. 
Perhaps where they live, do they have pets, do they like a drink, do they go on holidays much, and if so where? 
I don't really know, as that is for you to decide.
The person will be in the 'Hot Seat' for around *2 days (around 48 hours)* answering questions as and when they can.
That's the general thinking anyway.
Please feel free to offer either yourself, or nominate another forum member, who may or may not want to do this of course.
I think that you will all agree that our VickyNightowl, Ameriscot and Ina did a rather sterling job in answering their particular questions.
I for one feel that I know a lot about them than I did before, which gives me a warm glow.
So now sitting in The Hot Seat is *Sifuphil*, and I must thank her for that.
Sifuphil will be there until around Wednesday/Thursday when I will ask the next person when they would like to start.

​


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## SifuPhil (Mar 14, 2016)

Thanks, Boozer!

OUCH - this seat is HOT!

...

... oh, yeah ...

Okay, folks - here I am - break out the slingshots!


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## IKE (Mar 14, 2016)

Philly can you share your most risque encounter with the opposite sex.....or the same sex if you're so inclined.


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## boozercruiser (Mar 14, 2016)

Right, I think we will agree that most of us are creatures of habit, so...
I have been up around half an hour, and I have a certain routine to start the day.
After crawling out of your pit Sifuphil, what do you normally do during that vital first half hour or so.
Once one has woken up that is!


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## Shalimar (Mar 14, 2016)

What is the most bizarre job you have ever held?


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## boozercruiser (Mar 14, 2016)

IKE said:


> Philly share your most risque encounter with the opposite sex.....or the same sex if you're so inclined.



Blimey IKE.
It's my turn next.
PLEASE don't ask me THAT question! layful:


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## SifuPhil (Mar 14, 2016)

IKE said:


> Philly share your most risque encounter with the opposite sex.....or the same sex if you're so inclined.



Oh, boy, you guys aren't going to pull any punches, are you? 

Hmmm ... let me think ...

Well, for many years I was a bouncer in "Adult Entertainment" venues - strip clubs, to be honest - and bouncers tend to make the friendship of the dancers. I guess they're seen as protectors, sometimes as father figures, but always as "safe" guys to play with.

Anyway, two of the dancers and I went out to breakfast after work one morning (bars closed at 2am), figured we were bored and went to Atlantic City. Watched the sunrise on the boardwalk, lost a little money on blackjack and spent the weekend at Harrah's Resort munching salt-water toffee (wink, wink, nudge, nudge). 

Quite a memorable experience.


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## Ralphy1 (Mar 14, 2016)

When did you first discover your genitals?


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## SifuPhil (Mar 14, 2016)

boozercruiser said:


> Right, I think we will agree that most of us are creatures of habit, so...
> I have been up around half an hour, and I have a certain routine to start the day.
> After crawling out of your pit Sifuphil, what do you normally do during that vital first half hour or so.
> Once one has woken up that is!



Well, certainly the first thing is to heed Mother Nature's call.

COFFEE! MUST HAVE COFFEE! I have my coffeepot set to automatically come on, so I don't waste those precious few minutes walking around like a zombie. 

I feed Mao (the cat) and engage in the ritual "chase the dot" game with him using my laser pen. He gets upset if we don't play first thing in the morning.

I'll take a shower if it's July. 

Then onto the Internet - I live here on the 'Net for both work and play. 

Oh, yeah - might eat something for breakfast; might not. Depends how I feel. And pills - unfortunately I take several prescriptions, so down the hatch they go. Bleh!


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## SifuPhil (Mar 14, 2016)

Shalimar said:


> What is the most bizarre job you have ever held?




Oh, wow ... 

When I lived in California I worked for a time as a safety inspector for what was euphemistically called a "secondary lead refinery".

I called it Hell.

City of Industry was the name of the town this place was in, and their goal was to take in old car batteries and lead pipes, smelt them down, purify them and re-sell the "new" lead.

Blast furnaces made up most of the landscape, and being lead (a toxic metal) most of the workers had to wear safety equipment.

Enter Philly, the Angel of Protection, floating around making sure everyone wore their gear - jumpsuits, respirators, RACAL air supplies, safety shoes, etc. Also had to make reports to OSHA and EPA and other fun paper work, and serve as guide when their reps came calling.

Myself, since I was always in the plant, had to wear a heavy jumpsuit, a RACAL air supply, big ol' metal boots, goggles - I looked like I was getting ready to walk on the moon. All this in often 100+ degree temperatures - in the shade. Walk around those blast furnaces dressed like that all day and things happen.

Like, heat stroke and weight loss. Before I left the job it was usual for me to lose a couple pounds a day of water weight - when I finally left I was 165 pounds, way below my normal weight. I looked like Mr. Bones.


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## SifuPhil (Mar 14, 2016)

Ralphy1 said:


> When did you first discover your genitals?



I think I was 2 years old. I was out digging in my sandbox, and lo and behold ...


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## BlunderWoman (Mar 14, 2016)

Do you believe time travel is possible?


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## IKE (Mar 14, 2016)

SifuPhil said:


> Oh, boy, you guys aren't going to pull any punches, are you?
> 
> Hmmm ... let me think ...
> 
> ...



No hot strippers but after returning from Nam I bounced at a tuff little redneck bar out in the sticks for almost two years, hell even the gals chewed Redman.

There were a couple snaggle tooth, bib overall wearing local hillbilly's (Zeke and Billy Bob) that started eyeing me like I was a pork chop while humming the theme song to Deliverance.

I quickly sought and found more gainful employment.


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## SifuPhil (Mar 14, 2016)

BlunderWoman said:


> Do you believe time travel is possible?




Ooh ... I certainly HOPE it is.

I've read some articles that try to explain why it's possible only in reverse = going back in time. The explanations were WAY over my head, but their conclusions said forward is impossible but backward is possible.

Hey, they say that astronauts "gain" a little time by being in space. Not sure how that works either but they're proven it somehow.


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## SifuPhil (Mar 14, 2016)

IKE said:


> No hot strippers but after returning from Nam I bounced at a tuff little redneck bar out in the sticks for almost two years, hell even the gals chewed Redman.
> 
> There were a couple snaggle tooth, bib overall wearing local hillbilly's (Zeke and Billy Bob) that started eyeing me like I was a pork chop while humming the theme song to Deliverance.
> 
> I quickly sought and found more gainful employment.




LMAO@"even the gals chewed Redman"! 

Now THAT was a tough bouncing job! Glad you found a better position. I bounced in NYC for a while - those people were CRAZY. Bouncing here in PA seems like child play compared to that, but I doubt I would have lasted very long in the sticks like YOU did.


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## Ken N Tx (Mar 14, 2016)

Ralphy1 said:


> When did you first discover your genitals?





SifuPhil said:


> I think I was 2 years old. I was out digging in my sandbox, and lo and behold ...



I heard that your family was so poor that it was the only thing you had to play with..Is that true ??


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## SifuPhil (Mar 14, 2016)

Ken N Tx said:


> I heard that your family was so poor that it was the only thing you had to play with..Is that true ??




No, not true.

Mom tied a pork-chop around my neck so Heidi my dog would play with me.


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## Ralphy1 (Mar 14, 2016)

When did you first take an interest in girls or boys for reasons other than just friendship?


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## SifuPhil (Mar 14, 2016)

I think it was in 6th grade (12 years old). 

Donna Raguso had always been my crush through elementary school, and one day she invited me over to her house after school to watch _Love American Style_.

We watched it for a week or so, but then found other interests. Nothing major, but _Intro to Girls 1_ kind of stuff.


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## IKE (Mar 14, 2016)

Have you ever traveled, lived or worked overseas and if so where ?


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## IKE (Mar 14, 2016)

Have you ever served in the military ?......if so and not ours you may decline to reply.


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## SifuPhil (Mar 14, 2016)

IKE said:


> Have you ever traveled, lived or worked overseas and if so where ?




I've never been real big on travel, at least international travel. 

I was in Beijing, China for several weeks taking advanced T'ai-Chi classes back in 1979, but that's about the extent of my international travels, not counting Canada and Mexico - day trips only, or a few days at most as a tourist. 

If my life had turned out differently I might have liked to see a lot of places - England and Australia are two - but it just never worked out that way.


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## SifuPhil (Mar 14, 2016)

IKE said:


> Have you ever served in the military ?......if so and not ours you may decline to reply.



Never served, though I have the greatest respect to those that did. I fell in-between wars, so no draft, and my number never came up. 

Looking back, I wish I had enlisted instead of chasing useless college degrees.


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## Ralphy1 (Mar 14, 2016)

Did you ever play Dirty Doctor with Donna?


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## Ameriscot (Mar 14, 2016)

Philly, what are your favourite types of non-porn movies?


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## vickyNightowl (Mar 14, 2016)

Annie ,lol



Philnif you could have a do over,what would it be?


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## IKE (Mar 14, 2016)

Ameriscot said:


> Philly, what are your favourite types of non-porn movies?



As long as we're on the subject Philly.......have you ever stared in a porn movie and if so what was your stage name ?


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## SifuPhil (Mar 14, 2016)

Ralphy1 said:


> Did you ever play Dirty Doctor with Donna?



No, never. It was mainly all kid stuff.


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## SifuPhil (Mar 14, 2016)

Ameriscot said:


> Philly, what are your favourite types of non-porn movies?



I have to admit to having a fascination with those cheap Chinese martial arts movies - they're often called "chop-sockies".

I started going to movie theaters in NYC's Times Square and Chinatown, where you could watch 3 of those movies for $2. I guess that's where I got hooked. Thing is, the translations on screen were so hilarious that it took your attention away from the bad acting! 

And, they're all pretty much so formulaic that you KNOW what's going to happen. That's comforting, in a way - like watching American Westerns, where you KNOW the guy in the white hat will emerge victorious.

Beside chop-sockies I like your typical guy films - action, explosions ...


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## Gail.S (Mar 14, 2016)

Phil, ophidiophobia is the fear of snakes, do you have it? What is your main phobia?


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## SifuPhil (Mar 14, 2016)

vickyNightowl said:


> Annie ,lol
> 
> Philnif you could have a do over,what would it be?



One do-over?

When I was making good money in my early 20's I would have saved more of it, instead of throwing it all away on wine, women and song. Not that I regret doing that, mind you - just, if I had the foresight to learn how to invest some of it I'd be sitting pretty right now. 

*sigh*


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## SifuPhil (Mar 14, 2016)

IKE said:


> As long as we're on the subject Philly.......have you ever stared in a porn movie and if so what was your stage name ?



LOL!

I can see the timbre of this Hot Seat session ... 

Professional or amateur production? 

I appeared professionally as "Tall Dark Stranger in Raincoat" in _Farm-Girl Fanny Finds A Friend. _It won the NYC _Best Adult Movie With A Budget Under $5,000_ award in 1979! 

Amateur productions - several, all on Beta, no longer in existence (donated to Salvation Army).


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## SifuPhil (Mar 14, 2016)

Gail.S said:


> Phil, ophidiophobia is the fear of snakes, do you have it? What is your main phobia?



I'm not really afraid of snakes, unless you're talking about one of those 25-foot pythons. Then I try my best to be where he isn't. 

My main phobia? 

Coulrophobia - the fear of clowns. Definitely, clowns. There's just something inherently evil about them ...


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## Ralphy1 (Mar 14, 2016)

Did you ever play Dirty Doctor with anyone at any age?


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## Gail.S (Mar 14, 2016)

Finish this sentence: "I have 99 problems but ___ ain't one.


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## SifuPhil (Mar 14, 2016)

Ralphy1 said:


> Did you ever play Dirty Doctor with anyone at any age?



I've played Doctor many times, usually with full MD gear, but I was always clean.


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## SifuPhil (Mar 14, 2016)

Gail.S said:


> Finish this sentence: "I have 99 problems but ___ ain't one.



LOL!

"I have 99 problems but *having too much money* ain't one". 

... unfortunately ...


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## Gail.S (Mar 14, 2016)

SifuPhil said:


> LOL!
> 
> "I have 99 problems but *having too much money* ain't one".
> 
> ... unfortunately ...



Good answer and one I can relate too.


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## Gail.S (Mar 14, 2016)

This may be too hard a question, but I want to see what you do with it. Q: What's something you are pretty sure has only happened to you?"


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## SifuPhil (Mar 14, 2016)

Gail.S said:


> This may be too hard a question, but I want to see what you do with it. Q: What's something you are pretty sure has only happened to you?"



That IS a tough one. Have to think ... arghhh ... 

Ah, ok. 

In 6th grade I knocked myself out. For about half a minute.

With a bruise - more like a bump - on my forehead that exists to this day.

I was getting ready to play dodgeball at lunch-break at school. We played in the basketball courts - two of them divided by a giant concrete wall.

I crawled through the hole in the fence where a game was underway. The guy holding the ball was a foot or so away from me, and growled "Are you playing?"

I paused a second, said "Yes!" and turned to run away. I ran smack-dab into that giant concrete wall, head-first. :cower:


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## Gail.S (Mar 14, 2016)

SifuPhil said:


> That IS a tough one. Have to think ... arghhh ...
> 
> Ah, ok.
> 
> ...


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## Underock1 (Mar 14, 2016)

Phil, you were one of the very first to respond to one of my early threads. It was a bit of a sarcastic barb and I thought you were going to be one of those pedantic metaphysical types that use multi syllabic words to say nothing. You have turned out to be one of my favorite people on here and we hold similar views on many things. Is that a good thing? Hmm.
Anyway. How about your early childhood? Influences? How did you get to be the screwed up, funny, lovable guy that you are?


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## vickyNightowl (Mar 14, 2016)

Are you a bottom or a top?


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## Ralphy1 (Mar 14, 2016)

Lovable?  Get a room, but make sure to make a video to share with us...


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## SifuPhil (Mar 14, 2016)

Underock1 said:


> Phil, you were one of the very first to respond to one of my early threads. It was a bit of a sarcastic barb and I thought you were going to be one of those pedantic metaphysical types that use multi syllabic words to say nothing. You have turned out to be one of my favorite people on here and we hold similar views on many things. Is that a good thing? Hmm.



I am pleased that my pedantic metaphysical conjugations have become endearing to you, my good chap! 

We DO hold similar views - I think that's a GOOD thing. It means we're the healthy ones.



> Anyway. How about your early childhood? Influences? How did you get to be the screwed up, funny, lovable guy that you are?



I owe everything I am to Bugs Bunny. He was my earliest role model and his wise-a$$ ways, wise-cracks and general life wisdom influenced me to follow the Bugs Way.


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## SifuPhil (Mar 14, 2016)

vickyNightowl said:


> Are you a bottom or a top?



Top.

Definitely a top.


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## SifuPhil (Mar 14, 2016)

Ralphy1 said:


> Lovable?  Get a room, but make sure to make a video to share with us...



The green-eyed monster enters the room ... 

Yes, I am lovable and huggable and squeezable and a cheap date to boot.


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## Ameriscot (Mar 14, 2016)

I also hate clowns, and Bugs Bunny is my hero.

What is your most endearing quality?


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## boozercruiser (Mar 14, 2016)

You are doing ever so well up to now SifuPhil, and thank you for taking part.

Now then.
You have just found the magic lamp.
You have given it a few rubs.
The Genie of The Lamp steams out from the lamp and says...

"Hello Phil,  you have been a really good boy lately". (probably makes a changelayful 
"I am going to grant you three wishes".

So what would they be?!


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## SifuPhil (Mar 14, 2016)

Ameriscot said:


> I also hate clowns, and Bugs Bunny is my hero.



I KNEW I liked you! 



> What is your most endearing quality?



I don't know if it could be called "endearing", but I have a very high-level sense of honor. I suppose it's a mix of my upbringing - my parents, my martial arts teacher and the testing of it throughout my life.


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## SifuPhil (Mar 14, 2016)

boozercruiser said:


> You are doing ever so well up to now SifuPhil, and thank you for taking part.



Thank YOU, Boozer- this is a great thread, and fun too!



> Now then.
> You have just found the magic lamp.
> You have given it a few rubs.
> The Genie of The Lamp steams out from the lamp and says...
> ...



Oh, boy ...

1. $15.3 billion - just to cover those pesky little everyday expenses.

2. The end of fighting, wars, slavery, human and animal abuses throughout the world.

3. Immortality - I want to live forever.


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## boozercruiser (Mar 14, 2016)

SifuPhil said:


> No, not true.
> 
> Mom tied a pork-chop around my neck so Heidi my dog would play with me.



Aaahhh bless.
I haven't heard anything so heartwarming for a very long time!:sentimental:


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## SifuPhil (Mar 14, 2016)

boozercruiser said:


> Aaahhh bless.
> I haven't heard anything so heartwarming for a very long time!:sentimental:



Well, it WAS her favorite treat ...


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## boozercruiser (Mar 14, 2016)

SifuPhil said:


> Thank YOU, Boozer- this is a great thread, and fun too!
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Nice one SifuPhil
Now then folks.
When it is my turn for this torture, please don't ask me that question.
Just remember that the above would be my answers also.
Cheers!


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## Ina (Mar 14, 2016)

Hi Philly, What was your first rebellious act?

PS: Has anyone asked Ralphy where he was hiding when he skipped out on his turn.  I'll get you for that Ralphy. :hit::grrr:


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## BlunderWoman (Mar 14, 2016)

You have been mutating into a mutant. ( X-Men) what is your fabulous mutant power?


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## Arachne (Mar 14, 2016)

So you are going on date, what would be in your own opinion the perfect one ? Be as descriptive as you can, and are comfortable with..:sentimental:


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## SifuPhil (Mar 14, 2016)

Ina said:


> Hi Philly, What was your first rebellious act?



I would say it was - 

*The Great Green Bush Robbery of '64*

Ah, to be six years old! You're no longer a baby totally dependent upon others, yet you're also not an adult with all the attendant responsibilities. You've just started school and the only passing requirement is to learn to tie your shoelaces. 

Heady times, to be sure.

So why would an otherwise intelligent, good-looking kid throw it all away and chance doing some hard time in The Big House? 

I blame it all on Aurora.


​See, Aurora was a manufacturing company that made HO-scale (1:87) slot cars, those little plastic model cars with tiny little electric motors in them that you race around a slotted track using a transformer to control their speed. Most set-ups had track with 2 lanes so you could race your brother or your friend, but the more advanced layouts had 4 lanes, with the required special track pieces that would fit next to each other on the curves. 

The track was sold both in sets – the usual ovals and figure-eights as well as “special” sets such as “Le Mans” (ostensibly a copy of that grand course) – and as separate pieces for those daring and experienced enough to create their own layouts. I had started off with a figure-eight set received on my sixth Christmas, quickly grew dizzy watching my rides zip around the simple circuit and decided to make my own custom racecourse.

Over the next six months I drew blueprints, colored them in with Crayola's finest and dreamed the dreams only the truly inspired (or demented) can dream. I had a vision of a giant layout going all around our spacious basement, a vision that was soon shot down when my Mom mentioned that the track would have to go across the doorway of my father's shop as well as the half-bath entrance-way.

Dang.

Still, I managed to wheedle two ping-pong tables from my father, each 4'x8' and each more than enough for any normal six-year-old's racecourse, but of course just barely enough for MY ultimate creation. First I had to decide whether to put them end-to-end or make an “L” shape out of them, a decision that was pretty much solved by the simple fact that only an “L” would fit in the space available.

Okay, I could live with that. I went through dozens of #2 pencils drawing track layouts on the tables and calculating how many pieces of track I would need. Luckily I was skilled in math, at least the theoretical form – my financial abilities were somewhat wanting at that point. Hell, they STILL are.

As a result of this financial idiocy my list of needed track sections ended up exceeding the GNP of any of several small nations. I wept as only a six-year-old can weep, my salty tears dropping onto the green grass mats that now covered both tables in anticipation of the gray-black tracks being laid upon them. 

​

The upshot was that I had to settle for a lesser track design. I use the word “lesser”, but that's like saying a millionaire has to settle for a lesser Ferrari when the top model isn't available. The track that I had scrimped and saved my allowance for was finally piled up on my little work-table, patiently waiting to be inserted into my masterpiece. Over the course of the next three days I impatiently connected the track pieces together with the little plastic “U” connectors, had to re-do several sections when my carefully-crafted blueprints proved to contain errors of scale (curse you, Crayola!) and spent those days with thousands of little pieces of green “grass” covering my body. School was just a bother at this critical junction of time – who needed to learn the Plej of Legence and endlessly recount alfabits when my Cobra GT and Ford F-40 were waiting for their duel to the death?!?

Finally! Yet another Saturday (Saturdays seemed to be my unlucky days from this point onward), this one in June. The sun was streaming in through the small high-mounted basement windows and falling upon my racetrack, a sign from Heaven that all was as it should be. Like any good driver I walked the track, noting any dips or obstructions in the road. I found a few cat hairs and an uneaten piece of Chuckle's (red) and disposed of them. I carefully placed my car on the track for its first real time trial, got ready to click the stopwatch I had “borrowed” from my brother and, when my imaginary Christmas-tree light blinked down to “GREEN” I was off!

Burning down the long home stretch, applying the brakes before the S-curves, negotiating those tricky chicanes, passing through the Plaster of Paris mountain that brother Dave had given me from his defunct railroad, past the several small towns of plastic factories and pastel-colored homes with their HO-scale children running around in the yard. On and on I pushed the envelope, staring Death in the face and laughing!

Just as I was negotiating the sweeping final bend before the finish line, Dad yelled downstairs:

“_Hey, Phil, want to go to Klein's with me and Mom? Maybe I'll buy you something for your layout!_”

Klein's was one of our local department stores, sort of a pre-cursor to K-Mart and of approximately the same low quality, but to me the mere mention of their name invoked magic! Klein's had a huge (six-years-old = relative) section devoted to slot cars, model buildings and the thousand-and-one little extras that you could spend your money on.

On the way to Klein's Dad told me that I could get something for $3, but not a cent more. I was content with this limit, as I knew that the item I most wanted – a small boxed collection of green rubber bushes, or hedges – cost $2.75. I knew this because my undeveloped brain had stored all the pricing info in the county relating to slot cars with mathematical precision. I knew exactly where those bushes would go on the layout as well – right in the chicanes, to give them a bit of mystery. How can you successfully race through such a tricky passage while shrubbery obscures your view? It would be a challenge for even the best drivers.


​We get to the store, Dad says he'll be in the Hardware section, Mom would be looking at dresses or something and that I shouldn't wander out of the Toy section (yes, in those days it was common practice to let your little kid alone in a store – nobody ever snatched me, possibly much to my parents' despair). I nodded my assent and flew to the precise section that had my bushes. I picked up the box in triumph, already seeing in my mind's eye how vastly improved my track would become, when I happened to notice the price tag on the box.

$3.25.

Oh, NO!!! WHEN did they raise it $0.50?!? WHY?!?! Now I couldn't get it – it was over the $3 limit my father had set. I quickly searched my pockets but came up with only some old Wrigley's gum, some red gunpowder caps (EVERY real boy carried them) and 4 pennies.

*DAMN!*

I looked forlornly at the box, with its glorious hand-painted cover of majestic green hedges standing tall and proud along some Germanic-looking avenue. I saw my OWN pathetic layout, now devoid of said bushes, not being a REAL layout at all anymore. I had been THIS CLOSE to perfection, to achieving what other six-year-olds had only _dreamed_ of, only to have it snatched away by the avarice of Mr. Klein!

Holding the box in my hands and debating what other, lesser item I could purchase, I noticed that the box wasn't sealed – in fact, a quick lift of the top section revealed 6 – count 'em, 6! - glorious green bushes laying snugly together, almost seeming to mock me with their sing-song chant - 

“_You can't have us, you can't have us … _“

I reeled in anger, my eyes seeing red, and suddenly, out of no place that I had previously recognized or have since determined, I decided that I would HAVE my bushes, no matter what!

Peeking out of the corners of my eyes and determining that the coast was clear, I quickly placed the 6 bushes, now oddly quiet, into the pocket of my dungarees. 

I placed the now-empty box back on the shelf, took a final survey of my exit route and, sweating like a virgin in a house of ill-repute, began to make my escape. 

That's when that heavy, hairy hand locked onto my shoulder.


​“_Where are YOU going, young man?_”, a voice straight out of Hell boomed. It sounded like James Earl Jones if James Earl Jones was doing testosterone shots and was REALLY angry. 

Ignore all later accounts of the incident that claim I wet myself. Those are just outright lies spread by my enemies.

I was marched to an office whose existence I had never even imagined. It was lit with cold, green-tinged fluorescent lights, devoid of any furniture save a stern-looking, no-nonsense metal desk and a single gray filing cabinet. A black dial phone sat on the desk, looking more unimaginably terrifying than any torture device ever devised by the CIA or the Taliban. 

The giant man in the blue sport jacket dialed the phone, bellowed some words into it and sat back watching me with veiled lids, occasionally taking a noisy slurp from a Styrofoam coffee cup.

My father burst through the office door soon after, rapid-firing questions to the giant. My Mom's face was white with fear and for the most part she sat meekly on a stiff metal desk chair off to the side, while my Dad was pacing back and forth and banging his massive hands on the giant's desk. I feared an epic showdown, a Battle of the Titans, was brewing and I shrank into my chair, whimpering.

The giant was using words like “jail” and “thief” and “police”, words that brought tears to my eyes. After every such word my father would bang the desk yet again and wave his arms like a wild man. I have to say that, at that precise moment, Dad was never more of a superhero to me – defending the weak, the small and the guilty.

Finally some accord was made. I say this because the giant extended his hand across the desk and SuperDad reached his across as well, in the process knocking the cup of cold coffee directly in Giant's lap.

To this day I like to think that it was a movement fully-planned by Dad, a finishing move on a defeated opponent that would bring honor to the best moves of professional wrestling. 

I don't recall much after that, except that I was led out to the car rather quickly by the scruff of my neck. I took my usual seat in the back, still wailing like a wimp, while Mom read me the riot act …

“*WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? WE DIDN'T RAISE YOU TO BE A CROOK! WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST ASK IF YOU COULD ...*”

On and on the verbal beat-down came, waves of it crashing across my guilty skull. I felt lower than a pregnant snake's belly and bluer than a midnight showing of _Deep Throat_.

Dad kept his peace while he drove, then as we were passing the last local hobby shop before home he wordlessly pulled into their parking lot and, despite Mom's repeated pleas of “Mike! Mike! Mike!” took me by the hand, walked into the hobby shop and purchased, for $4.50 (plus tax), a box of 6 Green Bushes.

I spent many of the following years happily racing my slot cars on my track. No matter whether I was fighting against the clock in a solo race, dueling with my best friend Michael Salerno or, that one memorable New Year's Eve, holding a 24-hour endurance race which featured bottles of Coke and bowls of popcorn and peanuts, fuel for such an inhuman and inhumane trial that in any event saw both Michael and me snoring on the basement floor after midnight, only a quarter-way into the race, wrapped in blankets provided by Mom. 

It didn't matter how we raced, who won, who got to drive the new car or what the track layout was at that particular time – those 6 Green Bushes always occupied a position of honor high atop Plaster Mountain, constantly reminding me that while it is good to always strive upwards you have to watch out for those damned rock-slides.  

(Reprinted from my book The Great Hamster Land-Speed Record And Other Strange Tales) ​


----------



## SifuPhil (Mar 14, 2016)

BlunderWoman said:


> You have been mutating into a mutant. ( X-Men) what is your fabulous mutant power?



Through my mutant brain-power I can force kitty cats to rub against my legs.

It isn't much, granted, but hey - brings a smile to my face!


----------



## SifuPhil (Mar 14, 2016)

Arachne said:


> So you are going on date, what would be in your own opinion the perfect one ? Be as descriptive as you can, and are comfortable with..:sentimental:




A date? I vaguely remember those. 

I'll pull one out of real-life experience, because I can't imagine a better one.

Back in my first year of college I met a young lady who was a Junior at the time. Greek/Italian, gorgeous. Great sense of humor. Drove a fully-restored vintage Corvette. Daddy was a prominent doctor. 

Yeah, I hit the jackpot.

We went to the usual places for the first week or so - movies, dinner, walks in the park. 

Out of the blue she invites me to spend the weekend at Daddy's Southampton beach house on the Long Island Sound. Southampton was (still is?) sort of like the Beverly Hills of New York - all exclusive, multi-million dollar mansions and beach houses.

Daddy and Mommy were on vacation in Greece. I didn't find this out until we got there.

She made dinner for me - full Italian! - we drank and partook of various substances, started watching a movie but gave that up in favor of more ... athletic ... activities.

Went outside on the beach. More athletic activities. The sun started to rise as we were still sleeping on the beach. Sand all over the place.

Breakfast in bed. She played the violin for me. 

Repeat for the rest of the weekend. Got home Monday morning with the biggest smile you ever saw.


----------



## vickyNightowl (Mar 14, 2016)

SifuPhil said:


> I would say it was -
> 
> *The Great Green Bush Robbery of '64*
> 
> ...



Love it! What a dad!


----------



## SifuPhil (Mar 14, 2016)

vickyNightowl said:


> Love it! What a dad!



SUPER Dad! 

He died when I was 12 - that hurt.


----------



## vickyNightowl (Mar 14, 2016)

SifuPhil said:


> SUPER Dad!
> 
> He died when I was 12 - that hurt.



I'm sorry for that. 

Are more stories like that in the book?


----------



## SifuPhil (Mar 14, 2016)

vickyNightowl said:


> I'm sorry for that.
> 
> Are more stories like that in the book?



Yes, I have one long story like that for each year of my childhood, from 6-18 years. 

All true LOL! 

If I do say so myself, the title story about the hamster speed-record is one of the best stories. Sad but funny.


----------



## vickyNightowl (Mar 14, 2016)

SifuPhil said:


> Yes, I have one long story like that for each year of my childhood, from 6-18 years.
> 
> All true LOL!
> 
> If I do say so myself, the title story about the hamster speed-record is one of the best stories. Sad but funny.


That's awesome.

Why aren't you writing fiction?


----------



## Ameriscot (Mar 14, 2016)

Did you play sports as a child?


----------



## Ameriscot (Mar 14, 2016)

vickyNightowl said:


> That's awesome.
> 
> Why aren't you writing fiction?



Yes!


----------



## SifuPhil (Mar 14, 2016)

vickyNightowl said:


> That's awesome.
> 
> Why aren't you writing fiction?





Ameriscot said:


> Yes!



Because I've found that, like the old saying goes, truth is stranger than fiction.


----------



## SifuPhil (Mar 14, 2016)

Ameriscot said:


> Did you play sports as a child?




Totally unorganized, street-style sports - baseball, football, basketball, street hockey, even organized my own Olympics in the back yard when I was 7 LOL!

In high school I played football, got all banged up, two fractured shoulders, one broken leg. Never got hurt in 35+ years of martial arts, though - strange ...


----------



## vickyNightowl (Mar 14, 2016)

SifuPhil said:


> Because I've found that, like the old saying goes, truth is stranger than fiction.



Me thinks you have talent that you should share.

Is your book onlyf or  kindle?


----------



## SifuPhil (Mar 14, 2016)

vickyNightowl said:


> Me thinks you have talent that you should share.
> 
> Is your book onlyf or  kindle?



Unfortunately, at this point, yes. I've got plans for selling it as a PDF and in other formats on a website, but right now I've shut down all my sites for a future re-build.


----------



## Ameriscot (Mar 14, 2016)

Time travel:  you've got one day.  What year or decade?


----------



## SifuPhil (Mar 14, 2016)

Ameriscot said:


> Time travel:  you've got one day.  What year or decade?




Another tough one, especially since you're asking for such precise info.

Okay - New York City, 1946. It was (or seems to be, from what I can find out) a golden time in the Big Apple.


----------



## boozercruiser (Mar 14, 2016)

I hope this hasn't already been asked, but do you like to dance and boogie on down Phil?
And if so, to what kind of music?


----------



## SifuPhil (Mar 14, 2016)

boozercruiser said:


> I hope this hasn't already been asked, but do you like to dance and boogie on down Phil?
> And if so, to what kind of music?




Never been a dancer. I spent the Disco years leaning against the wall. Forced to take dance lessons for my own wedding. Couldn't boogie to save my life.


----------



## Underock1 (Mar 14, 2016)

Phil, this is great stuff! I am so happy to see that you did have a happy childhood. I somehow had the impression that it was not. You really could write a great book. Unfortunately getting it published is not that easy.

Boozer, this thread was a great idea. I was just contemplating offering myself as a candidate when I read Ina's thread. What a fantastic life! So much more interesting and worthy than mine. I have lived a very ordinary life. Just sliding through enjoying the simple stuff without a whole lot of effort. I feel almost ashamed.


----------



## Ameriscot (Mar 14, 2016)

Are you a good cook?  What are your specialities?  Like spicy food?


----------



## SifuPhil (Mar 14, 2016)

Underock1 said:


> Phil, this is great stuff! I am so happy to see that you did have a happy childhood. I somehow had the impression that it was not. You really could write a great book. Unfortunately getting it published is not that easy.



I was blessed, Rock. Outside of a few set-backs - mainly deaths in the family and running into walls - I had a charmed childhood compared to so many others. 

I'm still working on that great book. Getting it published isn't a major problem - nowadays you can self-publish (and get far more financial rewards in the process). 



> Boozer, this thread was a great idea. I was just contemplating offering myself as a candidate when I read Ina's thread. What a fantastic life! So much more interesting and worthy than mine. I have lived a very ordinary life. Just sliding through enjoying the simple stuff without a whole lot of effort. I feel almost ashamed.



So you've lived a Taoist life, sliding your way through - that in itself is impressive. So many people have battled their way through every day - you would serve as an example of how to just glide on through.


----------



## Butterfly (Mar 14, 2016)

vickyNightowl said:


> Love it! What a dad!



So, Phil -- what's the great hamster land speed record?


----------



## SifuPhil (Mar 14, 2016)

Ameriscot said:


> Are you a good cook?  What are your specialities?  Like spicy food?




I wouldn't say I'm a good cook - pretty lame in the kitchen, in fact. Too many years of bachelor food, followed by too many years being spoiled by ex's cooking.

I can do spaghetti and meatballs! LOL

I'm not a spicy food person. My diet tends to be bland - the pepperoni on my pizzas is the most spicy thing I eat these days. I just never understood why people like to eat stuff that burns their mouths. I had a friend not long ago that wanted me to eat ghost chilis with him - supposedly the hottest pepper in the world. I said no and watched him - his faced turned pink then red then blue. He laughed as he choked on the pepper.

No, thanks. Give me graham crackers or Saltines any day.


----------



## SifuPhil (Mar 14, 2016)

Butterfly said:


> So, Phil -- what's the great hamster land speed record?




After the carnage cleared it was determined that it was 163.7 MPH over a distance of 374.73' over a time of 3.3 seconds. The final G-forces were calculated to have been 7.987G.


----------



## Ina (Mar 14, 2016)

Me again Philly, I'm going for three questions this time.

1. Did you plan your career, or did it choose you?

2. Have you always believed in yourself?

3. What was the funniest trick you ever play on someone else.

PS: yes there was styrofoam cups back in the fourties, but I don't remember them being common in the every day offices. But I do remember paper waxed and cups.


----------



## boozercruiser (Mar 14, 2016)

Your going good Phil.
Your going good!
Now then...

We have just watched a lovely film called...
The Age Of Adaline about a woman whose age is frozen at 29.

If you could go back in time, and could have frozen your age forever , what would it be? 
And/or, would you even want to!?


----------



## SifuPhil (Mar 14, 2016)

Ina said:


> Me again Philly, I'm going for three questions this time.
> 
> 1. Did you plan your career, or did it choose you?



It pretty much chose me. I started studying martial arts when I was 12 - by 16 I was helping teach at my teacher's school, by 18 I had opened my own studio. 



> 2. Have you always believed in yourself?



Not always. In fact there were times when I felt I'd never amount to anything. 



> 3. What was the funniest trick you ever play on someone else.



I honestly can't remember any practical jokes or tricks I've played on anyone. I know that's weird ... 



> PS: yes there was styrofoam cups back in the fourties, but I don't remember them being common in the every day offices. But I do remember paper waxed and cups.



That makes sense.


----------



## SifuPhil (Mar 14, 2016)

boozercruiser said:


> Your going good Phil.
> Your going good!




Thank you.



> Now then...
> 
> We have just watched a lovely film called...





> The Age Of Adaline about a woman whose age is frozen at 29.
> 
> If you could go back in time, and could have frozen your age forever , what would it be?
> And/or, would you even want to!?



Hmm ... 

I want to say 20. I was technically out of my teens, going to college, having a ball living on my own in NYC while discovering the world.


----------



## Ina (Mar 14, 2016)

Philly, if a 20ish pretty girl wanted to date you, what would be your responses?


----------



## boozercruiser (Mar 14, 2016)

Ina said:


> Philly, if a 20ish pretty girl wanted to date you, what would be your responses?



I also want to know the answer to THAT one Ina! nthego:


----------



## SifuPhil (Mar 14, 2016)

Ina said:


> Philly, if a 20ish pretty girl wanted to date you, what would be your responses?





boozercruiser said:


> I also want to know the answer to THAT one Ina! nthego:




First I suppose I would be flattered. My mug isn't exactly a dead ringer for Brad Pitt, and most days I use a cane. 

If for some crazy reason she didn't mind that, I'd probably go for it. Not for a long-term relationship - I doubt she'd have the shared life experiences - but just for the fun of it. 

I was sort of in that position in my last bouncing job - surrounded by gorgeous 20-somethings, most of whom liked me enough to want to go out with me, but too many with baggage.


----------



## fureverywhere (Mar 14, 2016)

Okay this is one of the few threads I am going to read from the beginning...oy vey, so very many questions
I'm baaaack

I started going to movie theaters in NYC's Times Square and Chinatown, where you could watch 3 of those movies for $2. I guess that's where I got hooked. Thing is, the translations on screen were so hilarious that it took your attention away from the bad acting! 
There was a drive in we used to hitchhike to. No car but you could easily camp out on the surrounding woodlands and watch for free. We'd go all Cheech and Chong and try to focus on any action flick that came on...even the subtitles turned Japanese if you stared hard enough...wasn't that a time

Okay you're on a desert island and only have three books into eternity, what would they be?


----------



## IKE (Mar 14, 2016)

SifuPhil said:


> I would say it was -
> 
> *The Great Green Bush Robbery of '64*
> Ah, to be six years old! You're no longer a baby totally dependent upon others, yet you're also not an adult with all the attendant responsibilities. You've just started school and the only passing requirement is to learn to tie your shoelaces.
> ...



Great story bro......I really enjoyed the read.


----------



## BlunderWoman (Mar 14, 2016)

Were you ever an adrenaline junky/thrill seeker?


----------



## Ina (Mar 14, 2016)

After marrying the 1st time, what was the 1st irritating habit that you just had to mention because it was driving you nuts?


----------



## Lon (Mar 14, 2016)

Why haven't you filled in any info for your profile and yet consent to questioning?


----------



## SifuPhil (Mar 14, 2016)

fureverywhere said:


> Okay this is one of the few threads I am going to read from the beginning...oy vey, so very many questions
> I'm baaaack
> 
> I started going to movie theaters in NYC's Times Square and Chinatown, where you could watch 3 of those movies for $2. I guess that's where I got hooked. Thing is, the translations on screen were so hilarious that it took your attention away from the bad acting!
> There was a drive in we used to hitchhike to. No car but you could easily camp out on the surrounding woodlands and watch for free. We'd go all Cheech and Chong and try to focus on any action flick that came on...even the subtitles turned Japanese if you stared hard enough...wasn't that a time



Fantastic! My kind of drive-in!



> Okay you're on a desert island and only have three books into eternity, what would they be?



1. The Tao Te Ching

2. The Bible

3. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas


----------



## SifuPhil (Mar 14, 2016)

BlunderWoman said:


> Were you ever an adrenaline junky/thrill seeker?




In some ways, for a short time, yes. Skydiving, SCUBA diving, amateur road racing, martial arts tournaments, marriage ...


----------



## SifuPhil (Mar 14, 2016)

Ina said:


> After marrying the 1st time, what was the 1st irritating habit that you just had to mention because it was driving you nuts?



LOL - JUST the first? *twitch, twitch*

It would have to be my wife's usage of "I'm sorry". She would apologize for the sun rising in the East. I never struck her, never yelled at her, but she felt it necessary to apologize for everything constantly.


----------



## SifuPhil (Mar 14, 2016)

Lon said:


> Why haven't you filled in any info for your profile and yet consent to questioning?



I thought my profile _was_ fully fleshed-out ... all the answers are there. 

And ... I didn't exactly _consent_ to questioning as much as having Ina bull-dog me in here! layful:

That lady is tough! Never been in a head-lock like that before.


----------



## fureverywhere (Mar 14, 2016)

3. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas 

Okay I toadly expected and appreciate that but you know I was expecting "The Art of War", my boys...especially the would be SEAL got it. Went over my head, think you're of a more mellow side there son...


----------



## BlunderWoman (Mar 14, 2016)

SifuPhil said:


> I thought my profile _was_ fully fleshed-out ... all the answers are there.
> 
> And ... I didn't exactly _consent_ to questioning as much as having Ina bull-dog me in here! layful:
> 
> That lady is tough! Never been in a head-lock like that before.



After observing the intense questioning of others. I'm glad I choice the cowardly thing and only ask questions


----------



## SifuPhil (Mar 14, 2016)

fureverywhere said:


> 3. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
> 
> Okay I toadly expected and appreciate that but you know I was expecting "The Art of War", my boys...especially the would be SEAL got it. Went over my head, think you're of a more mellow side there son...



Well, if it's only me on that isle for eternity, why would I need any reference to war?


----------



## SifuPhil (Mar 14, 2016)

BlunderWoman said:


> After observing the intense questioning of others. I'm glad I choice the cowardly thing and only ask questions



I'll tell you, BW - these guys take no prisoners! I'm basically an innocent, church-going young man who likes petting kitty cats and volunteering at the local ASPCM (American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Meercats) , and they're corrupting me ...


----------



## vickyNightowl (Mar 14, 2016)

SifuPhil said:


> I'll tell you, BW - these guys take no prisoners! I'm basically an innocent, church-going young man who likes petting kitty cats and volunteering at the local ASPCM (American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Meercats) , and they're corrupting me ...



Lol o.   K.



What do you enjoy doing most ?

What size is your.....hand? (Sorry,a little Trump humor) 'grin'


----------



## SifuPhil (Mar 14, 2016)

vickyNightowl said:


> Lol o.   K.
> 
> What do you enjoy doing most ?



You mean legally? 

Writing. It's an obsession. 



> What size is your.....hand? (Sorry,a little Trump humor) 'grin'



9-1/2 inches in circumference (large size gloves).


----------



## fureverywhere (Mar 14, 2016)

n'Here son another toke, I've got your back...but "Enter the Dragon" over the horizon...wake a bit to see the good parts...We'll carry ya home.


----------



## SifuPhil (Mar 14, 2016)

fureverywhere said:


> n'Here son another toke, I've got your back...but "Enter the Dragon" over the horizon...wake a bit to see the good parts...We'll carry ya home.



LOL - there were times I didn't remember how I got home - bad boy.

Thanks for the toke, though. layful:

Ah, "Enter the Dragon" - the one that started it all in the West. They claim that they had to slow down the cameras for Bruce Lee - he just moved too fast. Would have loved to have met him.


----------



## vickyNightowl (Mar 14, 2016)

Legal ,unlegal,we are friends here,you can tell us,lol

Whoa whoa there,rotflmao


----------



## SifuPhil (Mar 14, 2016)

vickynightowl said:


> legal ,unlegal,we are friends here,you can tell us,lol
> 
> whoa whoa there,rotflmao



TMI, TMI! Lol


----------



## vickyNightowl (Mar 14, 2016)

SifuPhil said:


> TMI, TMI! Lol



Nah, but I saw the 9 and a half there and I gots scared.

Lol


----------



## Ameriscot (Mar 15, 2016)

vickyNightowl said:


> Nah, but I saw the 9 and a half there and I gots scared.
> 
> Lol



Ha!  I saw the 9 1/2 and got interested......oh, bad bad girl!  nthego:

Okay, BBC style Desert Island Discs:

What 3 songs would you take with you to a desert island and what one modern convencience would you take?


----------



## BlunderWoman (Mar 15, 2016)

What is the single best compliment you have ever received from another person in your life? A compliment you cherished.


----------



## Ralphy1 (Mar 15, 2016)

Who do you fantasize about for an intimate encounter?


----------



## boozercruiser (Mar 15, 2016)

IKE said:


> Great story bro......I really enjoyed the read.



I agree IKe, but...
Now I really must get out more to smell some roses and coffee! 

In the meantime, what was the most dangerous thing you have ever done Phil?


----------



## Ina (Mar 15, 2016)

Now Philly, Your stretching it.  A headlock huh? 

I'm 5'5", and I weigh 135 pounds.  Now I could charge my electric wheelchair, and chases you around for at least 12 miles on a cloudy day, or I could slowly stalk you without the chair, but it would have to be in an enclosed mall out of the sun.  But your right, I can be powerful, and mean.  Although, you are a "saintly' little boy, and I've always want a little brother that wouldn't beat the crap out of me.

I am woman, here me meow.

Now back to your hot seat.

1. What is the creepiest thing that ever happened to you?
2. What were some of the things you swore not to teach your children that you learned from your parents, and what were the things you did pass on?
3.How old were you when your heart was first broken, and how did it happen?  :hide:


----------



## Ralphy1 (Mar 15, 2016)

Ina, do you want to be kissed?  There is an old song about Ina from Carolina who wanted to be kissed...


----------



## Ina (Mar 15, 2016)

Ralphy, you are in enough trouble with me.  Where can I find that hidey hole of your's?  You skipped out on your hot seat turn, and I ended up in it before I was ready.  So when do we get to interrogate you????

I've never been to Carolina, so it wasn't me.  I'm the "Good Night Irene" girl. My name is Ina Irene ....


----------



## Ralphy1 (Mar 15, 2016)

You can come after me any Monday to Friday, but I don't need no hot seat no way, just fire away!


----------



## boozercruiser (Mar 15, 2016)

Phil.
In people's minds, I would like them to think of me as a lovely Cuddly Teddy Bear. 



What animal would you like people to think of you as then?


----------



## boozercruiser (Mar 15, 2016)

Ralphy1 said:


> You can come after me any Monday to Friday, but I don't need no hot seat no way, just fire away!



Ralphy. 
If it is alright with you and Phil, I would like to plonk you in that Hot Seat late tomorrow (Wednesday evening).
Is that OK guys?


----------



## Ralphy1 (Mar 15, 2016)

Evening?  I don't "work" in the evenings either, as that is reserved for the cocktail hour(s)....


----------



## Ameriscot (Mar 15, 2016)

Ralphy1 said:


> Evening?  I don't "work" in the evenings either, as that is reserved for the cocktail hour(s)....



You can answer questions while you're drunk can't you?  We'd get honest answers that way!


----------



## SifuPhil (Mar 15, 2016)

Ameriscot said:


> Ha!  I saw the 9 1/2 and got interested......oh, bad bad girl!  nthego:
> 
> Okay, BBC style Desert Island Discs:
> 
> What 3 songs would you take with you to a desert island and what one modern convencience would you take?



Boy, I'm ending up on a lot of desert isles lately - just call me Gilligan.

Let's see ... 3 songs ... Pink Floyd's _Comfortably Numb_ ... Yes' _Heart of the Sunrise ... _and Bach's _Toccata and Fugue in D Minor _


----------



## SifuPhil (Mar 15, 2016)

BlunderWoman said:


> What is the single best compliment you have ever received from another person in your life? A compliment you cherished.



That I have wolf eyes.


----------



## SifuPhil (Mar 15, 2016)

Ralphy1 said:


> Who do you fantasize about for an intimate encounter?




They know who they are. 'nuff said.


----------



## SifuPhil (Mar 15, 2016)

boozercruiser said:


> I agree IKe, but...
> Now I really must get out more to smell some roses and coffee!
> 
> In the meantime, what was the most dangerous thing you have ever done Phil?




Outside of marriage?

I'd have to say SCUBA diving. It sounds all mellow and beautiful, but I used to dive by myself (you're supposed to dive with a partner) all around the Florida Keys. There is a lot that can go wrong, and without a partner you're basically fish bait.


----------



## SifuPhil (Mar 15, 2016)

Ina said:


> Now Philly, Your stretching it.  A headlock huh?
> 
> I'm 5'5", and I weigh 135 pounds.  Now I could charge my electric wheelchair, and chases you around for at least 12 miles on a cloudy day, or I could slowly stalk you without the chair, but it would have to be in an enclosed mall out of the sun.  But your right, I can be powerful, and mean.  Although, you are a "saintly' little boy, and I've always want a little brother that wouldn't beat the crap out of me.
> 
> I am woman, here me meow.



Awww!

*blushing*



> Now back to your hot seat.



Ooh, thank you - you're not too bad yourself!

...

... oh ... sorry ... 



> 1. What is the creepiest thing that ever happened to you?



I would have to say that it was seeing my mother's "ghost" in her bedroom the moment she passed on in the hospital. 



> 2. What were some of the things you swore not to teach your children that you learned from your parents, and what were the things you did pass on?



I swore to keep them from ever smoking. My mom and dad smoked unfiltered Chesterfields and I probably picked up the habit from them. I told my kids I'd disown them if they ever started smoking.

I guess I passed on my parents' sense of humor and easy-going ways.


> 3.How old were you when your heart was first broken, and how did it happen?  :hide:



The gal that I spent the weekend in Southampton with - she ended up hooking up with a rich contractor and dumping me.

That day I jumped in my car and drove nonstop to Florida from NY.


----------



## SifuPhil (Mar 15, 2016)

boozercruiser said:


> Phil.
> In people's minds, I would like them to think of me as a lovely Cuddly Teddy Bear.
> 
> What animal would you like people to think of you as then?



A dragon. They have both power and wisdom. Plus, they fly!


----------



## SifuPhil (Mar 15, 2016)

boozercruiser said:


> Ralphy.
> If it is alright with you and Phil, I would like to plonk you in that Hot Seat late tomorrow (Wednesday evening).
> Is that OK guys?




Works for me.

I'll bring the restraints.


----------



## BlunderWoman (Mar 15, 2016)

vickyNightowl said:


> Nah, but I saw the 9 and a half there and I gots scared.
> 
> Lol


Vicky I must say you really are a fraidy cat because there is just no way anything is reaching anywhere near Canada


----------



## BlunderWoman (Mar 15, 2016)

Phil, why metaphysics? Were you seeking wisdom?


----------



## SifuPhil (Mar 15, 2016)

BlunderWoman said:


> Phil, why metaphysics? Were you seeking wisdom?



In a way, yes.

I also thought it would compliment my plan to teach T'ai-Chi, a martial art with deep Taoist philosophical roots.

I wanted to be able to do metaphysical counseling.

Plus, there were a few hot girls in the class ...


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## Ralphy1 (Mar 15, 2016)

For those who might be interested, I muse over my martini in the evening and come up with profound thoughts like my thread on cement today...


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## Arachne (Mar 15, 2016)

Speaking of 9 1/2 have you ever seen the movie 9 1/2 weeks and what do you think of strawberries as erotic tools?


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## SifuPhil (Mar 15, 2016)

Arachne said:


> Speaking of 9 1/2 have you ever seen the movie 9 1/2 weeks and what do you think of strawberries as erotic tools?




Yes, I have seen it. I've always had a crush on Kim Basinger. 

There's a tray of strawberries on my kitchen counter right now - I'll get back to you in, oh, 10 minutes or so ...


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## Shalimar (Mar 15, 2016)

Strawberries dipped in white Belgian chocolate!


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## SifuPhil (Mar 15, 2016)

Shalimar said:


> Strawberries dipped in white Belgian chocolate!




NOW she tells me ... 

I was using Ranch dressing ...


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## Shalimar (Mar 15, 2016)

Can't take you anywhere Philly. What was the most tender/uplifting moment you can remember?


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## SifuPhil (Mar 15, 2016)

Shalimar said:


> Can't take you anywhere Philly. What was the most tender/uplifting moment you can remember?



Hmm ... I'm more used to remembering the most violent and terrifying moments.

Tender and uplifting ... I would say the birth of my first son. There was just something magical about it.


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## Shalimar (Mar 15, 2016)

It is difficult to top that Philly.


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## SifuPhil (Mar 15, 2016)

Shalimar said:


> It is difficult to top that Philly.




Thank you, m'lady.


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## vickyNightowl (Mar 15, 2016)

BlunderWoman said:


> Vicky I must say you really are a fraidy cat because there is just no way anything is reaching anywhere near Canada



I don't know about that BW,Phil does martial arts,have you seen the movie Flying daggers crouching Tiger? (Or something like that)
They can fly,who knows what else they can do!


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## BlunderWoman (Mar 15, 2016)

vickyNightowl said:


> I don't know about that BW,Phil does martial arts,have you seen the movie Flying daggers crouching Tiger? (Or something like that)
> They can fly,who knows what else they can do!



I have seen them running across the tips of trees now that you mention it. Saw some odd things in Fung Fu Hustle too.


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## Ameriscot (Mar 15, 2016)

Philly, have you ever had lucid dreams or out of body experiences?


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## SifuPhil (Mar 15, 2016)

Ameriscot said:


> Philly, have you ever had lucid dreams or out of body experiences?



Lucid dreaming, yes - used to practice it in college and for a few years later. 

OOBEs are a different story ... I've approached them but never in the accepted ways.


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## Ameriscot (Mar 15, 2016)

SifuPhil said:


> Lucid dreaming, yes - used to practice it in college and for a few years later.
> 
> OOBEs are a different story ... I've approached them but never in the accepted ways.



I used to practice it in the 90's when I got a how-to book.  Almost had an OBE - had the vibrations, but got scared.


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## SifuPhil (Mar 15, 2016)

BlunderWoman said:


> I have seen them running across the tips of trees now that you mention it. Saw some odd things in Fung Fu Hustle too.



And those are just things we do on a _slow_ day ...


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## SifuPhil (Mar 15, 2016)

Ameriscot said:


> I used to practice it in the 90's when I got a how-to book.  Almost had an OBE - had the vibrations, but got scared.




It IS scary stuff until you do it a few times.


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## Gail.S (Mar 15, 2016)

Phil, if you could go back in time and change one event in your life, what would it be?


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## SifuPhil (Mar 15, 2016)

Gail.S said:


> Phil, if you could go back in time and change one event in your life, what would it be?



I was running a school in PA many years ago - guess it was around the mid-1990's - and I had one student that was a child prodigy.

She was 14 years old and was the most flexible and fast-moving student I've ever had. She picked up on techniques instantly and performed them flawlessly. I began taking her to tournaments where she pretty much won everything in sight.

She came from a broken home with a missing father and an alcoholic, abusive mother, so she spent a lot of time at my school. 

One day she didn't show up for class. Okay, maybe she has a cold or something. Two days, still AWOL. Three. Not like her. I begin asking around, drive to her house, mom said she hasn't seen her in a few days (!). Searching, searching, day and night, ready to call the cops.

They found her body in the river beneath a bridge.

Not sure to this day what happened. She would have been 16. Somehow I feel I didn't do enough - if I could change something it would be that.


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## Ameriscot (Mar 15, 2016)

SifuPhil said:


> I was running a school in PA many years ago - guess it was around the mid-1990's - and I had one student that was a child prodigy.
> 
> She was 14 years old and was the most flexible and fast-moving student I've ever had. She picked up on techniques instantly and performed them flawlessly. I began taking her to tournaments where she pretty much won everything in sight.
> 
> ...



Oh how awful!  You know it's not your fault but it's easy to think 'if only...'


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## Shalimar (Mar 15, 2016)

Philly, how sad. Poor child. Hugs.


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## SifuPhil (Mar 15, 2016)

Ameriscot said:


> Oh how awful!  You know it's not your fault but it's easy to think 'if only...'



Yes, I spent a long time thinking that way, beating myself up. Hard to let go ...



Shalimar said:


> Philly, how sad. Poor child. Hugs.



Thank you, dear.


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## Shalimar (Mar 15, 2016)

Philly, doubt you could have prevented it. Twenty years ago, the protection for children was sadly flawed. Still is, really. At least she had you, and the joy of the school. For a time she had a purpose, and a place to be safe, cared for, to belong. I have some idea what you meant to her. The gift you gave was huge. Wherever she is, she is grateful. Eek, I am crying.


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## Gail.S (Mar 15, 2016)

Phil, how very terrible for you. But you can't blame yourself, there was no way you could watch over her night and day. Cyber hug.


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## SifuPhil (Mar 15, 2016)

Shalimar said:


> Philly, doubt you could have prevented it. Twenty years ago, the protection for children was sadly flawed. Still is, really. At least she had you, and the joy of the school. For a time she had a purpose, and a place to be safe, cared for, to belong. I have some idea what you meant to her. The gift you gave was huge. Wherever she is, she is grateful. *Eek, I am crying*.



Damn it, now so am I. That memory was buried until just now.

Thank you for your kind words.


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## SifuPhil (Mar 15, 2016)

Gail.S said:


> Phil, how very terrible for you. But you can't blame yourself, there was no way you could watch over her night and day. Cyber hug.




Thanks, Gail. I'm just a big softy, I guess.


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## Ameriscot (Mar 15, 2016)

Big hugs, Philly.  xx


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## FazeFour (Mar 15, 2016)

BlunderWoman said:


> I have seen them running across the tips of trees now that you mention it. Saw some odd things in Kung Fu Hustle too.



One of my favorite flicks of all time! When I first saw your current avatar I did a little Fu-Hussle myself. :love_heart:


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## boozercruiser (Mar 15, 2016)

SifuPhil said:


> Thanks, Gail. I'm just a big softy, I guess.



It is better to be a big softy than a big hardy Phil. (nothing ****** meant there).

When you are out and about, do you tend to smile at people, and maybe say good morning or good afternoon?
And in a similar mode, do you laugh a lot, and if so, what can have that effect on you?


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## boozercruiser (Mar 15, 2016)

Hi Folks.
If it is alright with SifuPhil and Ralphy, I would like to plonk Ralphy in the Hot Seat at around 11.00am tomorrow morning GMT.
This is in around 12 hours from now. (22.45PM GMT)
I have to go out for the rest of the day tomorrow for a hospital appointment, so difficult to do later.
O.K. people?

In the meantime, please bang in a few more questions, as I don't want Phil getting away that easily!

One last question from me.
And seeing as how I am feeling rather cheerful this evening...

What would you like written on your tombstone?


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## Ina (Mar 15, 2016)

Philly, You have mentioned having sons, but I haven't heard anything about a daughter. Having raised both, I know how different it is to guide them through the confusion of the teen age years. 

1. So what would be your way of preparing a daughter to deal with the challenges of a male dominate society?

2. If there was no mother in the picture, how would you deal with the feminine issues that all girls go through? 

:bowknot:    raying:


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## fureverywhere (Mar 15, 2016)

Philly, doubt you could have prevented it. Twenty years ago, the protection for children was sadly flawed. Still is, really. At least she had you, and the joy of the school. For a time she had a purpose, and a place to be safe, cared for, to belong. I have some idea what you meant to her. The gift you gave was huge. Wherever she is, she is grateful. Eek, I am crying. 

I'm sorry son...just one more word about this and we'll let it go where it should. Even ten years ago, even now the system sucks. Jeez they actually "lose" kids in foster care, too many kids and far too many files. But really you did what you could, find peace in that. I knew a child and his sister. I've mentioned it before. The Mom was sent away for a month, petty offense. I offered to foster the baby even. But no the law was next of kin. The grandmother beat the older boy to death. The baby would be around 14 now. I think about her sometimes, her Mom too.


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## vickyNightowl (Mar 15, 2016)

Phil 'hug'


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## fureverywhere (Mar 15, 2016)

Philly baby, ya did terrific in the hot seat, now lets warm it up a notch for Ralphie....


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## SifuPhil (Mar 15, 2016)

boozercruiser said:


> It is better to be a big softy than a big hardy Phil. (nothing ****** meant there).
> 
> When you are out and about, do you tend to smile at people, and maybe say good morning or good afternoon?
> And in a similar mode, do you laugh a lot, and if so, what can have that effect on you?



It depends. 

If it's someone my age or older, yes, I'll be civil and perhaps even pleasant. But in my neighborhood there are a few gangsta-types wandering around - them I give the neutral eye. 

I laugh a LOT, mainly at myself, but when I talk with a good friend or two that also brings it out in me.


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## SifuPhil (Mar 15, 2016)

boozercruiser said:


> Hi Folks.
> If it is alright with SifuPhil and Ralphy, I would like to plonk Ralphy in the Hot Seat at around 11.00am tomorrow morning GMT.
> This is in around 12 hours from now. (22.45PM GMT)
> I have to go out for the rest of the day tomorrow for a hospital appointment, so difficult to do later.
> ...



Here lies Phil
He got a little ill
Went to parties without pants
And died of Charley chill

layful:


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## SifuPhil (Mar 15, 2016)

Ina said:


> Philly, You have mentioned having sons, but I haven't heard anything about a daughter. Having raised both, I know how different it is to guide them through the confusion of the teen age years.
> 
> 1. So what would be your way of preparing a daughter to deal with the challenges of a male dominate society?
> 
> ...



I thank Buddha I didn't have daughters. 

1. Martial arts training, of course - but also mental training.

2. I'd grab the first likely female prospect, marry her and drag her home by the hair aka caveman style. "Ug - you - teach!"


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## SifuPhil (Mar 15, 2016)

fureverywhere said:


> Philly baby, ya did terrific in the hot seat, now lets warm it up a notch for Ralphie....
> View attachment 27566



Thank you! 

*gets blowtorch*


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## vickyNightowl (Mar 15, 2016)

What is one of the happpiest moments in your life that filled your soul?


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## SifuPhil (Mar 16, 2016)

vickyNightowl said:


> What is one of the happpiest moments in your life that filled your soul?



I guess once again it would have to be the birth of my sons. That's something permanent, something real.


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## vickyNightowl (Mar 16, 2016)

SifuPhil said:


> I guess once again it would have to be the birth of my sons. That's something permanent, something real.



Did someone allready ask and I missed it?


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## SifuPhil (Mar 16, 2016)

vickyNightowl said:


> Did someone allready ask and I missed it?



Well, Shali had asked what the most tender moment I had was, and I answered the birth of my son. 

It was the tenderest, and the happiest as well. 

Also, the greatest tax deduction ever!


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## vickyNightowl (Mar 16, 2016)

SifuPhil said:


> Well, Shali had asked what the most tender moment I had was, and I answered the birth of my son.
> 
> It was the tenderest, and the happiest as well.
> 
> Also, the greatest tax deduction ever!



Lol,yes,they are good for something when they are small.lol


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## boozercruiser (Mar 16, 2016)

fureverywhere said:


> Philly baby, ya did terrific in the hot seat, now lets warm it up a notch for Ralphie....
> View attachment 27566



And I would like to second those emotions folks.
I am sure that we all found those 'confessions'  very interesting!
In around an hour and a half from now I will strap Ralphy into The Hot Seat.:sentimental:
Has anyone got any last hour or so stuff they would still like to know about Phily baby?


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## Shalimar (Mar 16, 2016)

Would you ever marry again, or is that not appealing?


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## SifuPhil (Mar 16, 2016)

boozercruiser said:


> And I would like to second those emotions folks.
> I am sure that we all found those 'confessions'  very interesting!
> In around an hour and a half from now I will strap Ralphy into The Hot Seat.:sentimental:
> Has anyone got any last hour or so stuff they would still like to know about Phily baby?




Thanks, Boozer - I had a great time with a lot of great people.


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## SifuPhil (Mar 16, 2016)

Shalimar said:


> Would you ever marry again, or is that not appealing?




Not really appealing - "live in sin", sure, but the whole religious thing - not really into it. Once was enough.


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## Ameriscot (Mar 16, 2016)

You're doing great, Philly!!

Are you going to vote?  Not asking for which one.


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## SifuPhil (Mar 16, 2016)

Ameriscot said:


> You're doing great, Philly!!
> 
> Are you going to vote?  Not asking for which one.




Heh, heh ... never voted in my life, never even registered to vote. 

I know this will probably create some buzz in the political threads, but I don't really "believe in the process".


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## IKE (Mar 16, 2016)

SifuPhil said:


> Heh, heh ... never voted in my life, never even registered to vote.



That's me also, I do follow what's going on and mentally pick a favorite but I've never seen any election come down to a dead tie to where my one vote would have decided the election anyway.


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## Ameriscot (Mar 16, 2016)

SifuPhil said:


> Heh, heh ... never voted in my life, never even registered to vote.
> 
> I know this will probably create some buzz in the political threads, but I don't really "believe in the process".



The process certainly does need fixing!

I hate to admit it but I voted in 1972 and didn't vote again until 92.


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## IKE (Mar 16, 2016)

SifuPhil said:


> Heh, heh ... never voted in my life, never even registered to vote.



I've heard that if a person is not a registered voter then he's not on 'the list' to get picked for jury duty.

I figure they'd send me home during the interview process anyway......it wouldn't matter what the case was like maybe unpaid parking tickets, public urination or mass murder I'd just say, "fry the sucka !"


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## boozercruiser (Mar 16, 2016)

I see in another thread you started Phil, which gave out a lot of advice on good living.
One of them was....

*2. Eat 10 Cloves of Raw Garlic Every Day*

I don't think this does anything for your blood, but it DOES keep those pesky neighbors and family members away, thus decreasing greatly your level of stress.

__________

Do you follow this particular advice Philly?
And if you do, do you EVER get kissed?


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## SifuPhil (Mar 16, 2016)

IKE said:


> That's me also, I do follow what's going on and mentally pick a favorite but I've never seen any election come down to a dead tie to where my one vote would have decided the election anyway.



That's it.

Plus, I don't like empowering a democratic Republic.


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## SifuPhil (Mar 16, 2016)

Ameriscot said:


> The process certainly does need fixing!
> 
> I hate to admit it but I voted in 1972 and didn't vote again until 92.



Wow - I'd have wagered you were an enthusiastic voter. Just goes to show ...


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## SifuPhil (Mar 16, 2016)

IKE said:


> I've heard that if a person is not a registered voter then he's not on 'the list' to get picked for jury duty.
> 
> I figure they'd send me home during the interview process anyway......it wouldn't matter what the case was like maybe unpaid parking tickets, public urination or mass murder I'd just say, "fry the sucka !"



LOL!

You and I are very much alike.


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## SifuPhil (Mar 16, 2016)

boozercruiser said:


> I see in another thread you started Phil, which gave out a lot of advice on good living.
> One of them was....
> 
> *2. Eat 10 Cloves of Raw Garlic Every Day*
> ...



LOL!

Up until last year or so I was following that regimen. I hit a bump in the road to health and cut way back to one clove a day, then cut it out completely.

I lost faith.

Living the lifestyle of a monk, worrying about being kissed was never a problem.


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## Ameriscot (Mar 16, 2016)

SifuPhil said:


> Wow - I'd have wagered you were an enthusiastic voter. Just goes to show ...



I voted at 20 and next time at 40.  I'm slow.  But I've voted every time since, even from Uganda where my ballot was slow in getting to me and I had to pay a fortune to send it fast mail to the ​US.


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## Ameriscot (Mar 16, 2016)

duplicate


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## SifuPhil (Mar 16, 2016)

Ameriscot said:


> I voted at 20 and next time at 40.  I'm slow.  But I've voted every time since, even from Uganda where my ballot was slow in getting to me and I had to pay a fortune to send it fast mail to the ​US.



Paying to vote ...

Okay, you're back in the "enthusiastic" category.


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## Ameriscot (Mar 16, 2016)

IKE said:


> I've heard that if a person is not a registered voter then he's not on 'the list' to get picked for jury duty.
> 
> I figure they'd send me home during the interview process anyway......it wouldn't matter what the case was like maybe unpaid parking tickets, public urination or mass murder I'd just say, "fry the sucka !"



If you had/have a driver's license, you're on the list for jury duty.


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## Ameriscot (Mar 16, 2016)

SifuPhil said:


> Paying to vote ...
> 
> Okay, you're back in the "enthusiastic" category.



Yea, and the guy at the post office asked who I was voting for and he had a huge smile when I said Obama.  He said come back when he wins and we'll have a big party!!

I didn't become a citizen in the UK until 2007 so I've voted in all elections since.


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## Shalimar (Mar 16, 2016)

Philly, do you foresee spending the rest of your life as a monk?


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## SifuPhil (Mar 16, 2016)

Shalimar said:


> Philly, do you foresee spending the rest of your life as a monk?



Somehow, for some reason, no. 

I've spent enough time on the Yin side of life - time to whip out my Yang again!


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## Shalimar (Mar 16, 2016)

I see, Philly. Balance in all things.


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## IKE (Mar 16, 2016)

SifuPhil said:


> time to whip out my Yang again!



*rolling eyes and biting tongue*.........just walk away and shut up Ike.


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## SifuPhil (Mar 16, 2016)

Shalimar said:


> I see, Philly. Balance in all things.



You got it! 



IKE said:


> *rolling eyes and biting tongue*.........just walk away and shut up Ike.



Oh, c'mon, SAY it ... you KNOW you want to SAY it ... when will you ever get a straight line like that again?


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## IKE (Mar 16, 2016)

SifuPhil said:


> You got it!
> 
> 
> 
> Oh, c'mon, SAY it ... you KNOW you want to SAY it ... when will you ever get a straight line like that again?



Ain't no way dude......I had one hell of a time keeping quite the other day when someone mentioned something about something being 9".


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## Shalimar (Mar 16, 2016)

Hahahahahahahaha.


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## SifuPhil (Mar 16, 2016)

IKE said:


> Ain't no way dude......I had one hell of a time keeping quite the other day when someone mentioned something about something being 9".



9" AND A HALF.

Give credit where credit is due.


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## Shalimar (Mar 16, 2016)

Ain't testosterone grand? The primate council is out tonight/today!


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## Ina (Mar 16, 2016)

I have heard many times that the "elderly" have a second childhood.  I think we're there now.


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## IKE (Mar 16, 2016)

SifuPhil said:


> 9" AND A HALF.
> 
> Give credit where credit is due.



I would have thought the tail on a cat was longer......oh well, that just shows you how much I know.


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## SifuPhil (Mar 16, 2016)

Shalimar said:


> Ain't testosterone grand? The primate council is out tonight/today!



*descends from branches holding banana*



Ina said:


> I have heard many times that the "elderly" have a second childhood.  I think we're there now.



Goo, goo, gah, gah ...



IKE said:


> I would have thought the tail on a cat was longer......oh well, that just shows you how much I know.



*biting own tongue and walking away*


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## Shalimar (Mar 16, 2016)

Ina, I think these guys never left the first one behind. Sigh.


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## SifuPhil (Mar 16, 2016)

Shalimar said:


> Ina, I think these guys never left the first one behind. Sigh.


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## Shalimar (Mar 16, 2016)

I need to have someone pluck out my eyes, the pain!


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## IKE (Mar 16, 2016)

SifuPhil said:


> View attachment 27571



I see you blurred out the cats tail.


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## Shalimar (Mar 16, 2016)

Oh lord.


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## SifuPhil (Mar 16, 2016)

Shalimar said:


> I need to have someone pluck out my eyes, the pain!



Oh, come on - I was a CUTE little bugger! 



IKE said:


> I see you blurred out the cats tail.



Modesty forbids me from being too graphic. 



Shalimar said:


> Oh lord.



Prayer won't help you now - once seen, cannot un-see!


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## Ameriscot (Mar 16, 2016)

:lofl:


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## Ralphy1 (Mar 16, 2016)

Good way to end your time in the seat...


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## SifuPhil (Mar 16, 2016)

Thank you, kind sir.

I kept the seat warm for you.


----------

