# Men Aren’t All That Helpful During the Christmas Season



## SandyR (Dec 17, 2022)




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## SandyR (Dec 17, 2022)

Anyone identify with this?


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## caroln (Dec 17, 2022)

100%.  He didn't even get a Christmas tree.  No wait...he did.  He went up to the attic and handed it down to me.


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## Disgustedman (Dec 17, 2022)

Remembering the past. I was the one who sawed the tree down, loaded it, strapped it down, put it in the stand, slung in the water, affixed it to the wall then Mom and sisters decorated it

I went and chilled out in the backyard, with a bale of straw, making bedding for out German shepherds. Funny thing, our cats were never very interested in the tree or baubles.


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## iksentrik (Dec 17, 2022)

I don't usually post links but the topic reminded me of this song.


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## Mr. Ed (Dec 17, 2022)

Santa Clause is portrayed as a man.


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## MountainRa (Dec 17, 2022)

I well remember the year my husband went into our pasture, cut down a Christmas tree, drug it home, stood it up in our living room. Whereupon, after about an hour, the whole living room began to reek. It was at that point I realized he had drug the tree through cow manure as he brought it home.  Down came the tree.
I didn’t find him all that helpful that year.


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## officerripley (Dec 17, 2022)

SandyR said:


> Anyone identify with this?


Entirely. For years I begged him to help me do the darn Christmas cards, "Please, at least address the envelopes for me, please!" "Nope, your handwriting is better than mine." So about 3 years ago, I stopped sending the cards, I just was so tired of it. Last year, it finally dawned on him that I wasn't sending the cards and he went out and bought some expensive cards to send and said he would help me by addressing the envelopes. Welp, guess what. I tried a couple of times asking if he was ready to sit down and do the cards and kept getting, "Don't feel like it; let's do it later." Well, later never came and he finally said to me that he understood--finally--why I dreaded doing it.

"…[T]he [winter] holidays…[are], as my friend Connie says, 'an annual festival put on by women for the enjoyment of men and children.'”
~~from _Yeah, No. Not Happening: How I Found Happiness Swearing Off Self-Improvement and Saying F*ck It All—and How You Can Too_ by Karen Karbo


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## Capt Lightning (Dec 18, 2022)

I just want to decorate the house with "Bah Humbug" in lights, but SWMBO won't let me.  Well, don't say I wasn't trying to be helpful.


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## Devi (Dec 18, 2022)

Re addressing Christmas/Holiday card envelopes, why not just make labels you can print on your printer?

Or is that just not done?


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## Michael Z (Dec 18, 2022)

I guess I must confess to being that kind of husband with cards and decorations  But then again, I do all the shoveling, and there has been plenty of it. And replaced brakes on our vehicle in freezing outdoor temps when I was still sick. And I pretty much make all the Christmas dinner, so there are some silver linings.


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## officerripley (Dec 18, 2022)

Capt Lightning said:


> SWMBO


??


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## officerripley (Dec 18, 2022)

Devi said:


> Re addressing Christmas/Holiday card envelopes, why not just make labels you can print on your printer?
> 
> Or is that just not done?


It would have to be me making the labels since he's never printed up anything using the computer and has no desire to learn, so then I'd be right back where I started.


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## Devi (Dec 18, 2022)

officerripley said:


> It would have to be me making the labels since he's never printed up anything using the computer and has no desire to learn, so then I'd be right back where I started.


Okay. But once you've made (and saved) your page or so of labels, you just print them again. Takes five minutes, not hours writing them by hand.


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## hearlady (Dec 18, 2022)

My husband does more of the online research and shopping, travel plans including anything to do with the car, reservations, etc.
He cleans his own spaces. He puts the outside garlands up.
I do pretty much everything else.


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## Pinky (Dec 18, 2022)

officerripley said:


> ??


SWMBO .. She Who Must Be Obeyed


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## Llynn (Dec 18, 2022)

Oh goody. Another anti-male thread on SF.


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## debodun (Dec 18, 2022)

The same reason that men usualy forget birthdays and anniversaries.


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## Bellbird (Dec 18, 2022)

Michael Z said:


> I guess I must confess to being that kind of husband with cards and decorations  But then again, I do all the shoveling, and there has been plenty of it. And replaced brakes on our vehicle in freezing outdoor temps when I was still sick. And I pretty much make all the Christmas dinner, so there are some silver linings.


Good for you.


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## Bellbird (Dec 18, 2022)

I remember my FIL sitting being waited on hand and foot and loving every minute of it in fact he expected it.


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## caroln (Dec 18, 2022)

Llynn said:


> Oh goody. Another anti-male thread on SF.


We really aren't anti-male.  We're just commenting on the fact that the division of labor at Christmastime isn't always equal!


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## Llynn (Dec 18, 2022)

caroln said:


> We really aren't anti-male.  We're just commenting on the fact that the division of labor at Christmastime isn't always equal!


Well OK then. I understand now. You ladies are simply painting all males with a very broad brush full of negative paint based upon your experiences with a few men.  HO,HO,HO.


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## Bella (Dec 18, 2022)

I can only speak for myself when I say my husband was always helpful, on holidays and every day. He never hesitated to do whatever needed to be done. We'd go together to cut down the tree and decorate it. I'd dust, and he'd vacuum the house for me. He helped me with setting the table for Christmas dinner and was my sous chef when I was preparing dinner. I could always count on him. We were a team. He was wonderful!


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## 1955 (Dec 18, 2022)

In my last relationship she had to train me to do all this stuff. Last Thanksgiving at my Mom’s my sister commented because I did some of the cooking, all the dishes & cleanup. So maybe some of you ladies just don’t know how to train a man!


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## Paco Dennis (Dec 18, 2022)

I just have to stick up for my Dad here.  He put up all the lights on our house, and a tree also. He went to get our Christmas tree, and then helped us put the lights on it. I think the biggest thing my Dad did, was to work as a iron worker 40 hours a week that provided our family  with as much as we needed, and our "big" Christmas presents.
 ( From: Santa...From: Mom and Dad ). He was great. I did the same when my kids were young. We aren't useless!


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## Bella (Dec 18, 2022)

1955 said:


> *In my last relationship she had to train me to do all this stuff. Last Thanksgiving at my Mom’s my sister commented because I did some of the cooking, all the dishes & cleanup. So maybe some of you ladies just don’t know how to train a man!*


Good on you!  I love a man who's willing to help!

Some men don't need "training." They see all that needs to be done, are thoughtful enough to realize you could use some help, and simply pitch in. That's my kinda guy!


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## JimBob1952 (Dec 18, 2022)

I would like to point out, in my defense, that I fund everything that I don't help out with.  And that I work hard to earn those funds.  And that once in a while I would just like to be left alone rather than be dragged down to the dining room table to write %&^%$# Christmas cards.


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## officerripley (Dec 18, 2022)

Bella said:


> He was wonderful!


Also rare, unfortunately in still too many parts of the world including this country; the traditional areas--one of which I'm living in now--still consider certain tasks to be "wimmen's work."


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## Bella (Dec 18, 2022)

officerripley said:


> *Also rare, unfortunately in still too many parts of the world including this country; the traditional areas--one of which I'm living in now--still consider certain tasks to be "wimmen's work."*


Some people are stuck in the past and use "traditional roles" as a way of giving themselves an excuse not to help out and/or as a form of control. I know you can't force Huzz to do anything. I'm sorry you're in it alone, rips.


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## Buckeye (Dec 18, 2022)

I suspect this will be our last year to decorate for the Holidays.  I got the tree down from the attic, assembled, and decorated the top portion, SO decorated the rest of the tree.  I did the outside lights, etc.  But it just seems like a lot of work for two old folks with nobody else around to enjoy it.  And I don't think we are alone in this.  We live in a 55+ community and only about 1/4 of the homes have any outside decorations.  

I can't really say much about times past, and my wives are both gone, so I can't ask them, but I like to think I was at least a little bit helpful...


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## officerripley (Dec 18, 2022)

Bella said:


> Some people are stuck in the past and use "traditional roles" as a way of giving themselves an excuse not to help out and/or as a form of control. I know you can't force Huzz to do anything. I'm sorry you're in it alone, rips.


Huzz is not as bad as he used to be so that's something I guess. But what bothers me is I keep seeing more and more traditional, patriarchal, sexist behavior among more and more men, even younger, sometimes highly-educated guys. It really feels to me like more and more of the whole darn world is going backward. Guys seem to like it, though.


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## Farrah Nuff (Dec 18, 2022)

I don't know just when the Christmas Season begins and ends 
but I'm estimating that two weeks should cover it. So that being
said, the other 50 weeks of non-Christmas season, men are doing
most of the "dirty jobs" around the house that women can't or
wont do, if they live with a man. Things like unclogging toilets,
shoveling sidewalks, etc. To many men, Christmas isn't a big deal
but a clogged toilet seems like a big deal to either gender.


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## jimintoronto (Dec 18, 2022)

Pinky said:


> SWMBO .. She Who Must Be Obeyed


I raise a large glass of Thames Embankment in your honor, Me Lord. JimB.


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## Bella (Dec 18, 2022)

Pinky said:


> *SWMBO .. She Who Must Be Obeyed*



SWMBO >


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## horseless carriage (Dec 18, 2022)

1955 said:


> So maybe some of you ladies just don’t know how to train a man!


Once, when asked if she would consider a new relationship, should anything happen to me, she replied: "Definitely not" That is so romantic the questioner said, "the love of your husband is so ingrained you would never consider a new man." "Don't be silly," my wife said, adding: "I just couldn't face going through all that training again!"


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## 1955 (Dec 19, 2022)

Bella said:


> Good on you!  I love a man who's willing to help!
> 
> Some men don't need "training." They see all that needs to be done, are thoughtful enough to realize you could use some help, and simply pitch in. That's my kinda guy!


I thought about this and believe it’s a form of ignorance having grown up in a family where we watched all the women due this stuff. My last girlfriend would have no part in this & set me straight.


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## Liberty (Dec 19, 2022)

Had a friend that traded her 70 yr old hub in on two 35 yr olds...now she has two men, one cooking and the other cleaning!


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## JimBob1952 (Dec 19, 2022)

I will say this.  If men were in charge of Christmas it would be one sad-assed affair.


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## Timewise 60+ (Dec 19, 2022)

SandyR said:


>


I hate "Gross Misrepresentations" like this!


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## grNadpa (Dec 19, 2022)

MountainRa said:


> a Christmas tree, ... the whole living room began to reek.


Thanks @MountainRa for bringing back a fond memory. Circa 1954 we moved from Washington, D.C. to Minneapolis, Minnesota. Because the move took place over the holidays, we weren't able to celebrate Christmas until we were settled. Rummaging through the back alleys, we found an abandoned Christmas tree and brought it inside only to find that the neighborhood dogs had already adorned it. At nine years old, thinking that snow would look nice on the tree, my solution was to spray my brother's shaving cream all over the branches. The combination of dog markings and Burma Shave perfume was not reminiscent of chestnuts-by-an-open-fire.


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## grahamg (Jan 6, 2023)

iksentrik said:


> I don't usually post links but the topic reminded me of this song.


Fun song, (first time I'd come across it  ).


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## Sassycakes (Jan 6, 2023)

*Don't tell my Husband how I answered this, but yes my husband is very helpful during the Christmas season and all the time. Some days I would just like to see him rest.*


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