# Party behavior - good or bad?



## Brookswood (Aug 22, 2016)

Several weekends ago I gave an informal party.  I did not require that anybody bring anything to eat,  but many people did. 

One person arrived about 1/2 way through the party with a frozen side dish she had bought at a local specialty food store.  She told me to heat it up, cut it into sections and serve it to the guest. She did not stay because she was "not feeling well".   She left immediately, total time at the party was maybe 5 minutes. 
The party was well under way and and I had more than enough to do so I put the frozen side dish in the freezer and did not serve it. 

Now I find that this person is upset with me because instead of serving the dish to all who where there - "he selfishly kept if for himself".  I am the himself.  

The side dish still sits in my freezer.

Should I have served the side dish even though I was already busy and we had more than enough side dishes to go around?  Should I have just refused to accept it?  Should I have returned it the next day?   The entire thing has me confused.

Advice?


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## Phoenix (Aug 22, 2016)

A wise person once told me that expectations kill relationships.  Your guest expected certain behavior from you.  She did not stay to help.  It was rude of her to expect you to jump when she said jump. How did she know you didn't serve it, if she wasn't there?  Apparently she wanted kudos.  People can be so self-absorbed.  If she truly brought it to help with the party she would have stayed and helped, regardless of how she felt.  I would ignore it if I were you.  To do otherwise could start an argument.  Knowing it was in the freezer would annoy me.  You could thaw it out and give it to the dog or the neighbor's dog, if you don't have one.


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## CoMoJayne (Aug 22, 2016)

I would just send her a quick email, stating you didn't have time to serve her dish, would she like to come pick it up?  

PS..........she is being very rude and unladylike.


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## Carla (Sep 12, 2016)

Now that is a strange one. If she came while the party was half over, it was too late for you to do anything. It was your party and you have a right to serve whatever you like anyway. Maybe her choice didn't go well with what you were serving or you wanted to enjoy the company of your guests or your feet hurt and you needed to rest--you actually did not owe her any explanation. I would have kindly said "I appreciate the thought but we already had more than enough. Can I drop it off at your house?"


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## Falcon (Sep 12, 2016)

Keep it in your freezer until you get hungry, then, allow it to thaw and then warm it up and enjoy.

If you ever run into her, be sure to thank her for the nice meal.

  But,  DON'T  Fret over it !!  Tomorrow the sun will rise and life will go on.


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## debbie in seattle (Sep 12, 2016)

Who was the big mouth to gossip to her?


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## bluebreezes (Sep 12, 2016)

It sounds like she wanted recognition from the other people there that despite not feeling well, she had contributed some food. Her instructions to you were a bit controlling and I might have reacted the same way. After hearing about her disappointment, I might have said something to the effect of "I thought you meant if we needed more food later on. Now are you feeling better?"


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## fureverywhere (Sep 12, 2016)

Keep it in your freezer until you get hungry, then, allow it to thaw and then warm it up and enjoy.
 If you ever run into her, be sure to thank her for the nice meal.

Yeah I think I would go with that...a bit weird on her part IMHO


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## Butterfly (Sep 12, 2016)

The guest is being rude and self-important, in my opinion.  I also think the moment she gave the dish to you, she had no right to say what happened to it.  If I already had a meal on the table for guests, I sure wouldn't be adding a dish in the middle of the meal, especially since it needed to be thawed and heated up.  That's asking you to disrupt your party to satisfy her wishes. and that's rude, IMO.

Some people don't have enough to do, and are always looking for a reason to be offended by something.  I sure wouldn't be inviting her to any more parties.


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## Brookswood (Sep 13, 2016)

Thanks for your thoughts.   Things have turned out well. The person involved has cooled down and I am not longer the nasty guy I was a month or so ago.


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