# Ten Helpful Holiday Eating Tips



## Meanderer (Dec 21, 2019)

Ten Helpful Holiday Eating Tips

   1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table

knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave

  immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.



2. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control

your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other

  people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?



3. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt

scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You

can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares

that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to

turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one

for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!



4. If someone comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy.

Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed

potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.



5. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or

whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car

  with an automatic transmission.



6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's.

You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the

time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table

while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.



7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like

frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position

yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before

becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes.

If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.



8 . Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or,

if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have

three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?



9 . Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the

mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, I have

some standards.



10 . One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party

or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips;

start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.


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## Aunt Bea (Dec 22, 2019)




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## Meanderer (Dec 22, 2019)




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## Meanderer (Dec 22, 2019)




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## Ken N Tx (Dec 22, 2019)

#11. If it tastes good spit it out!!


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## Gary O' (Dec 22, 2019)

Ken N Tx said:


> #11. If it tastes good spit it out!!



12. Go back for fifths


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## Meanderer (Dec 22, 2019)

*Peas on earth!*


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## Meanderer (Dec 22, 2019)




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## StarSong (Dec 22, 2019)

13.  Christmas cookies with green frosting count as vegetables.  Eat up.


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## Keesha (Dec 22, 2019)

StarSong said:


> 13.  Christmas cookies with green frosting count as vegetables.  Eat up.


Ahhhh....so that’s what you’re doing.


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## Marie5656 (Dec 22, 2019)




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## Duster (Dec 22, 2019)




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## Lc jones (Dec 22, 2019)

Meanderer said:


> Ten Helpful Holiday Eating Tips
> 
> 1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table
> 
> ...


I love this post!!!!!!


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## Ladybj (Dec 22, 2019)

13. Eat until your heart is content.  Be grateful and thankful for a full belly.  Not sure what number we were on so I chose 13..lol
Enjoy good food, family and fun!!! And don't forget the drinks (in moderation...ha ha ha - I will be home so Im good.. ha ha)


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## Meanderer (Dec 22, 2019)

_Don't forget the __Chocolate Sardines__, made with Spanish chocolate!






_


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## Ken N Tx (Dec 23, 2019)




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## Meanderer (Dec 23, 2019)




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## treeguy64 (Dec 23, 2019)

14. Make sure that your will is in good order before following #'s 1-13, above, as you're soon to become a perfect candidate for a heart attack that strikes out of nowhere. Try to put your food down, gently,  before you clutch at your chest, and drop to the floor!


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## Meanderer (Dec 23, 2019)

15.  Keeping in mind the spirit of this thread, please disregard step 14, and remember our mottos "Fear & Food do not mix well" & "Where there is a will, there is a way"!


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## treeguy64 (Dec 23, 2019)

Please disregard #15, as above. It is the unconscionable gluttony of the majority of US citizens that has given this country its sky-high rate of morbid obesity and heart disease.


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## Ronni (Dec 23, 2019)

treeguy64 said:


> Please disregard #15, as above. It is the unconscionable gluttony of the majority of US citizens that has given this country its sky-high rate of morbid obesity and heart disease.


Lighten up @treeguy64  You don't actually believe that these folks are really going to be following this advice do you? Everyone is just having fun!


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## Meanderer (Dec 23, 2019)

Didn't mean to twist your tinsel @treeguy64.


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## Meanderer (Dec 23, 2019)

#17.
*Cut Fewer slices, for less guilt*


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## Marie5656 (Dec 23, 2019)

*@treeguy64  You do realise this thread is all in fun. right?   Well, except for those chocolate sardines.  *


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## Ken N Tx (Dec 24, 2019)




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