# How Prepared Are You for Your Final Plans?



## Leann (Oct 23, 2018)

Up until three years ago, I was an expert at avoiding the whole final plans thing. I still haven't covered all of the bases yet but I'm making progress. 

Three years ago my younger brother died unexpectedly. He was 57. There isn't a day that I don't miss him with all of my heart. His wife had died years earlier of breast cancer and they didn't have children. And there wasn't a will. It was impossibly difficult to deal with the loss of this wonderful person and at the same time make decisions about his home, his large collection of things, his assets and his debts. But my brothers and I got through it.

One month after his passing, I went to a lawyer and began the process of having my important papers drawn up...a will, power of attorney, living will. It was awkward and uncomfortable but only for a little while. Then I realized that by my doing this, I was alleviating my family of a lot of difficulty when it's my time to leave the planet.

I still have the funeral planning to do but, honestly, that is just too difficult for me. I'll get around to it but not for a while. 

I'm also sorting through stuff in my small house because there is a lot I can donate to help someone else and my preference at this stage of my life is to live simply. 

And last year I took out a long-term care policy. I wish I had done it earlier because the older one gets, the more expensive it is. But I have it now. So, when I can't live on my own any longer, my family has my permission to move me to a nice retirement center.

I finally feel like an adult. And it only took 62 years


----------



## Knight (Oct 24, 2018)

Looks good and the understanding that leaving family members to take care of all the leagal issues is a plus in your decision making.
You might want to draw up a list of your assets and update it about every 6 months. Specifying who gets whatever is left spelled out, takes away any misunderstanding later on. Funeral expenses buried or cremated can be a major expense years from now. You have to ask yourself will I leave enough to cover everything? As hard as it is arranging  that now is another great step in leaving your family free from trying to cope with their grief and decide what you would have wanted, or who is going to pay any uncovered expense. 


You asked how prepared. Every legal issues is covered including what to do if found dead of natural causes. Our sons have copies of our wills. Funeral arrangements are taken care of. Our assets are updated every 6 months. Our sons are able to access our safe deposit box once we are gone. They are aware of what they need to do to process what they will receive. Cremation & the box that is used & plot are prepaid. Basically all they need to do is show up to say their last good byes. Then if they choose to they can watch the cremated remains be put into the ground. It isn't fun to discuss death and what all is set up, but once done that elephant in the room is gone the remaining time can be shared to the fullest.


----------



## C'est Moi (Oct 24, 2018)

We have wills, finances, and "disposal plans" in place.   I'm not cleaning out this house or getting rid of stuff at all; I still live here.   We have 5 kids so they can deal with it.


----------



## OneEyedDiva (Oct 25, 2018)

Good for you! My mother insisted to pre-pay her funeral and we even went together to pick out a casket she liked. After she passed, it made things so much easier for me.  Around the same time, she insisted I transfer her bonds into my name. Good thing I finally agreed to do it. By the time she had to go into a nursing home, Medicaid couldn't touch the money after her other assets ran out because the "look back" period had passed. I learned a good lesson from her so have put things in place for my son and grandson, who will most likely handle what needs to be taken care of.  My DIL is squeamish any time a conversation about death, wills, etc comes up.  But she better get over it because her mother is older than I am.
Anyway I did a will several years ago and have updated it twice. I did a living will about 9 years ago. My son has limited power of attorney on some of my investment accounts but knows how to move money from my bank, credit union and brokerage accounts should he have to if I wind up in a nursing home.  I go over financial things with him and my grandson once or twice a year. I established a joint email with all the information they'll need to know in various documents and spreadsheets, except it's under an assumed name and none of our names are mentioned, instead they are coded. This is so if that email ever got hacked, it "ain't me".

Also I paid off my burial plot this summer, including the opening and closing fees. I have private insurance and retiree insurance. Small policies but since the plot is paid for, they should be enough to pay for the simple casket we Muslims prefer and the funeral home services. It was a blessing for me that my mom was buried in the double grave she and my father had purchased. He predeceased her.  So I wanted that to be one less thing my son has to worry about. Hopefully I'll never have to go into a nursing home but if I do, my savings/investments should be enough to pay for it. I am ineligible for LTC insurance do to pre-existing conditions. I've been saving/investing diligently so I can go into a "nice home" too.


----------



## AZ Jim (Oct 25, 2018)

My wife and my final plans is paid for.  My grand kids (Daughter passed) are our soul beneficiaries and just as I had to do when MOM died, they must dispose of my properties.


----------



## Pappy (Oct 25, 2018)

Donating my body to science and they take care of everything. When my wife passes, assets will go to my 3 children.


----------



## Manatee (Oct 25, 2018)

My parents are buried in NY.  We have not been there for 25 years. 
My Wife's father is buried in Greece and her mothers ashes were scattered in the Atlantic. So much for cemeteries.

We have arranged for our ashes to be scattered in the Gulf.  A book of instructions for survivors has been compiled.


----------



## Buckeye (Oct 25, 2018)

Pappy said:


> Donating my body to science and they take care of everything. When my wife passes, assets will go to my 3 children.



My original plan was to donate my body to "Bay Watch", but I guess I need to change that...


----------



## Pappy (Oct 26, 2018)

You are a ‘hoot’, hoot. :sentimental:


----------



## moviequeen1 (Oct 26, 2018)

I've got everything taken care of,will be buried in our church memorial garden,already paid for my spot Sue


----------



## Aunt Bea (Oct 26, 2018)

_"All my bags are packed  __I'm ready to go..."_ - John Denver


----------



## tortiecat (Oct 26, 2018)

I have a prearranged funeral, a will and a living will indicating what to do nor not do if I am unable
to make decisions for myself.  The prearranged funeral was a prerequisite  for moving into this residence.


----------



## Leann (Oct 26, 2018)

Thank you for all of your helpful comments. I think I still have some more work to do but because you have kindly shared info on the plans you've all made, I know what still has to be done. Thanks again


----------



## suzyliz631 (Nov 14, 2018)

Good for you Leann. I just retired and went through hell when my parents died and my brothers and I had to settle the estate. I am the oldest and was named exectuter. It was just too emotional for me so I gave that title (legally) to my brother. He did not do a good job and we all pretty much didn't talk to each other for months and years. What a horrible experience. My last parent died in 2010. It took forever to settle this thing. And we did have a lawyer.  Anyway, enough about my blah blah... Just happy for you doing the the right thing.God bless


----------



## suzyliz631 (Nov 14, 2018)

Thanks Knight and UI have no problem discussing my death plans with my children and my better half. I want to be ctremated and the kids know what toi do with the ashes. pL,ease excuse my spelling errors because AI am typing in the dark.LOL


----------



## debbie in seattle (Nov 15, 2018)

All plans are done.   Don’t care where my ashes go, up to my daughter.   Husband and I had a Family Trust drawn up less than a year ago.    One of my daughters is in charge and I’m putting her on my accounts that I can and make sense.


----------



## retiredtraveler (Nov 16, 2018)

Totally prepared. Got a lawyer, have Revocable Trusts, Living Wills, copies sent out to some family members. With the trusts, there is no probate and whomever is the survivor (wife or myself, or rest of family for that matter), affairs should be easily handled.


----------



## StarSong (Nov 17, 2018)

We have a trust and wills in place.  There will be more than sufficient funds for us to be cremated.   My husband and my ashes are to be commingled when the second one passes - our children can then do what they think is appropriate with our ashes. 

 (I made some jewelry for myself, my siblings and some close friends from of some of my mom's ashes.  See below.  We scattered the rest in places that she loved.)


----------



## Trade (Nov 18, 2018)

I've left instructions with my wife and kids that I wish to be cremated and my ashes dumped in the Gulf of Mexico near the place that I was born. 

I have also instructed them to keep my final services simple. Something on the order of the following. Except perhaps have it early in the morning before the wind changes from offshore to onshore.    

<font size="3">


----------



## Aunt Bea (Nov 18, 2018)

Trade said:


> I've left instructions with my wife and kids that I wish to be cremated and my ashes dumped in the Gulf of Mexico near the place that I was born.
> 
> I have also instructed them to keep my final services simple. Something on the order of the following. Except perhaps have it early in the morning before the wind changes from offshore to onshore.
> 
> <font size="3">



_"All we are is dust in the wind..." - _Kansas


----------



## Skyking (Nov 18, 2018)

As a U.S. veteran  I find I can't do too much pre planning. Nothing can happen through the VA until you die. I've tried to assemble a notebook with steps for my widow to follow but as the years go by and numbers and addresses and policies change I have to annually redo the whole thing. If the gov't really cared they'd assemble an A-Z survivors guide WITH THE SPECIFICS. (But they don't, won't and never will)


----------



## Timetrvlr (Nov 18, 2018)

We took care of final expenses years ago then set about preparing for old age, moving into town, buying a single level home (no stairs). Then I renovated it to assure us of a home for the elderly with grab bars in the shower/tub and other places where needed. I removed the wimpy low-toilets and installed high toilets that flush every time with grab bars to assist in getting up. 

Whenever we found a great deal on walkers, scooters, and canes, we bought them assuming we would eventually need them. We even have a good pair of crutches. Now we're in our 80's and I'm really glad we did. It's called thinking ahead.


----------



## Aunt Bea (Nov 19, 2018)

Timetrvlr said:


> We took care of final expenses years ago then set about preparing for old age, moving into town, buying a single level home (no stairs). Then I renovated it to assure us of a home for the elderly with grab bars in the shower/tub and other places where needed. I removed the wimpy low-toilets and installed high toilets that flush every time with grab bars to assist in getting up.
> 
> Whenever we found a great deal on walkers, scooters, and canes, we bought them assuming we would eventually need them. We even have a good pair of crutches. Now we're in our 80's and I'm really glad we did. It's called thinking ahead.



Good advice!

Your post reminded me of this comment by Randy Pausch in The Last Lecture.

“Another way to be prepared is to think negatively. Yes, I'm a great optimist. but, when trying to make a decision, I often think of the worst case scenario. I call it 'the eaten by wolves factor.' If I do something, what's the most terrible thing that could happen? Would I be eaten by wolves? One thing that makes it possible to be an optimist, is if you have a contingency plan for when all hell breaks loose. There are a lot of things I don't worry about, because I have a plan in place if they do.”


----------



## StarSong (Nov 19, 2018)

Timetrvlr said:


> Whenever we found a great deal on walkers, scooters, and canes, we bought them assuming we would eventually need them. We even have a good pair of crutches. Now we're in our 80's and I'm really glad we did. It's called thinking ahead.



You bought crutches, walkers, scooters and canes in advance of needing them?  Interesting strategy.


----------



## rkunsaw (Nov 20, 2018)

We're prepared financially  but I ain't ready to go yet. I plan to stick around for a long time. I'm curious about too many things to leave before I find the answers.


----------



## wvnewbie (Nov 20, 2018)

I am told that you cannot take it with you.  So, I am not going.


----------



## Trade (Nov 22, 2018)




----------



## gamboolman (Dec 8, 2019)

ms. gamboolgal and I decided ~6 years ago that we would take care of all preparations for when we cross over the Jordan so that our children would not have to make any decisions.  We wanted to minimize the stress and angst for them.

We have seen some ugly dealings and goings on with families that were fighting over estates, monies, assets, etc.
We met with our Attorney to review and revise wills, trusts, Estate Plan and transfer of our assets to our adult children, Power of Attorney, Medical POA and Directives, etc.  Every know legal instrument we could potentially need.  We do the legal reviews every ~5 years or as needed.
Reviewed all insurances including Life Insurance policies and included in the Wills and Directives.

We purchased our Plots out in the rural countryside  of deep East Texas in a old cemetery that we have family in and in fact we lived in the community out in the sticks  when our son was a infant.  We like the country.
We purchased and prepaid for both of our Funerals and all necessary arrangements required.  All choices made, kids will not have anything to decide or to fuss over.
We purchased and had our Headstone sat in place out at the cemetery.

I will say that what I naively thought all this would cost was not even close. ha !
It is expensive and we did not get anything fancy at all.
Our total costs for both our Funeral home policies, Plots, & Headstone was ~$31K.  Way more than I expected.
But it's all done and paid for. 
That is monies well spent for us.


----------



## CarolfromTX (Dec 8, 2019)

It's in our will to be cremated. I told my daughter when the time comes, to mix my ashes with a bucket of dirt and some bluebonnet seeds and scatter it in a field somewhere where it's not likely to be turned into a parking lot any time soon. Then come back and visit in the spring and see me bloom.


----------



## treeguy64 (Dec 8, 2019)

My will is on file, updated when needed. My body goes to a med school where it will, hopefully, teach doctors in training something important and/or interesting. That's it 

Grave yards are a remnant of the past, when our species discovered that if you bury something that stinks, your problem is solved. We can't afford to use livable space for those who no longer live. Add in the vultures in the Big Funeral Industry, and the whole death ritual trip is a scam that needs to go away. 

Fertilizer is important, recycling usable body parts, likewise. Med schools, body farms to study natural decomposition, and other uses should make burying the dead unnecessary. Ultimately, cremation is the best way to minimize the hassle of dealing with the dead. Hmm.... and then there's Soylent Green.

Rest assured, I understand religious takes on death, and where bodies should end up, but that's a whole other topic.


----------



## treeguy64 (Dec 8, 2019)

gamboolman said:


> *SNIP*!
> Our total costs for both our Funeral home policies, Plots, & Headstone was ~$31K.  Way more than I expected.
> But it's all done and paid for.
> That is monies well spent for us.



Words fail me......


----------



## Catlady (Dec 8, 2019)

I have no legal will, but have one handwritten in my little safe specifying that I am to be cremated and pull the plug if I'm a vegetable.  My daughter already knows my wishes about that, the handwritten will is her ''proof''.  She's my only child and will get everything that is left, her name is on my bank accounts and my two brokerage accounts as survivor.  I have no debts and my house is fully paid for.  I am not worried.


----------



## Liberty (Dec 8, 2019)

550101 said:


> The only thing I really know is where I'm going to. I've made no other plans.


Love it...welcome to the forum!


----------



## Marie5656 (Dec 8, 2019)

*Hi Leann.  My husband died earlier this year, and did not have a lot of final plans made. Left me with the challenge.  Made me decide I am not going to leave others with unanswered questions.
We married later in life, and neither of us have children. I do have a niece, who has pretty much become my advocate.  I have written a new will, leaving everything to her, and making her the executor.  We have already discussed at length what I want done, as far as a memorial, (no service) and with me (cremation, scatter ashes). I hope to downsize a lot more, so she does not have to deal with possessions she does not want or need.  
We have a lot more to discuss, but things are in place.  I own my home, it is paid in full, and we have discussed what options she will have for selling it.*


----------



## Liberty (Dec 8, 2019)

Marie5656 said:


> *Hi Leann.  My husband died earlier this year, and did not have a lot of final plans made. Left me with the challenge.  Made me decide I am not going to leave others with unanswered questions.
> We married later in life, and neither of us have children. I do have a niece, who has pretty much become my advocate.  I have written a new will, leaving everything to her, and making her the executor.  We have already discussed at length what I want done, as far as a memorial, (no service) and with me (cremation, scatter ashes). I hope to downsize a lot more, so she does not have to deal with possessions she does not want or need.
> We have a lot more to discuss, but things are in place.  I own my home, it is paid in full, and we have discussed what options she will have for selling it.*


When we moved my MIL down to live with us years ago it was so easy.  Just called the auction house and they had an estate auction. They got rid of everything, even the Wheaties boxes & pantry stuff. We put the house on the market and that was it.  All done in one snowy March weekend.


----------



## CrackerJack (Dec 8, 2019)

Hi. Firstly im sorry to hear of your losses of loved ones and I know where you are at with grieving and its agonising. When my Husband died in 2015 suddenly and unexpectedly I had to cope with the practical matters from the offset.

I sorted my finanancial affairs out with the help of my Son and my bank. It went smoothly. I then sorted out the Will with the solicitor and paid for the services from the estate.
I drew up two LPA  one finances the other health also wrote a Letter Of Wishes as to my personal wishes  and this letter is not legally binding.

I was unsure of my funeral plan and  privately niggled about it for a long time. Close friends suggested I pay outright for my funeral to save the rising costs and I did this and for me peace of mind.

Despite the shock of my Husband's sudden death I somehow was clear headed and with good advice have coped in a hard lonely world for five years.

I stayed in my house and quite okay with this but I do wonder what my future will be in terms of being on my own.


----------



## mathjak107 (Dec 8, 2019)

I just order 50 lbs of unpopped popcorn.... I am going to be stuffed with it and cremated ..it will be an epic ceremony


----------



## Catlady (Dec 8, 2019)

Some warnings about prepaid funerals and a better option (POD) "pay on death'' account with your bank to be paid to your executor upon your death

https://www.elderlawanswers.com/pre-paid-funeral-plans-buyer-beware-1098
All about probates and wills:
https://www.legalzoom.com/articles/do-all-wills-need-to-go-through-probate


----------



## Liberty (Dec 8, 2019)

mathjak107 said:


> I just order 50 lbs of unpopped popcorn.... I am going to be stuffed with it and cremated ..it will be an epic ceremony


You crack me up... " hold the butter, though"...lol!


----------



## Floridatennisplayer (Dec 8, 2019)

I plan to be a burden on my family.....


----------



## Pepper (Dec 8, 2019)

Floridatennisplayer said:


> I plan to be a burden on my family.....


ME too!!!!


----------



## CrackerJack (Dec 8, 2019)

GLad Im not related to you two


----------



## Islandgypsy (Dec 8, 2019)

I’ve already given specific instructions. The following June, take my ashes on a charter boat out of Key West. After catching two mahi, send me to join them in the weed line. If you’ve never caught mahi in a weed line, you couldn’t understand.


----------



## john19485 (Dec 8, 2019)

Skyking said:


> As a U.S. veteran  I find I can't do too much pre planning. Nothing can happen through the VA until you die. I've tried to assemble a notebook with steps for my widow to follow but as the years go by and numbers and addresses and policies change I have to annually redo the whole thing. If the gov't really cared they'd assemble an A-Z survivors guide WITH THE SPECIFICS. (But they don't, won't and never will)


In your notebook be sure and put your SSN number, your V.A. number , Service number, if you are retired from civil service your CSA number, All Account Numbers, where located, just some ideas.


----------



## CrackerJack (Dec 9, 2019)

I will be laid to rest next to my Husband so I can keep a beady eye on him...


----------



## mathjak107 (Dec 10, 2019)

CrackerJack said:


> I will be laid to rest next to my Husband so I can keep a beady eye on him...


until death do we part is not a marriage vow as much as a goal  ha ha


----------



## Marlene (Dec 10, 2019)

Leann said:


> Up until three years ago, I was an expert at avoiding the whole final plans thing. I still haven't covered all of the bases yet but I'm making progress.
> 
> Three years ago my younger brother died unexpectedly. He was 57. There isn't a day that I don't miss him with all of my heart. His wife had died years earlier of breast cancer and they didn't have children. And there wasn't a will. It was impossibly difficult to deal with the loss of this wonderful person and at the same time make decisions about his home, his large collection of things, his assets and his debts. But my brothers and I got through it.
> 
> ...


----------



## Marlene (Dec 10, 2019)

While it is a good idea to have your plans in place and written instructions for survivors, it is NOT necessarily a good idea to prepay.  My mother and father are in a memorial gardens where the owners just landed a hefty prison term for stealing the "prepaid" funds that were supposed to be in trust and gambling them away (we are talking over $20 million dollars from the three cemeteries they owned).  

Because I'm a sociologist, I was asked to do some research on cemetery fraud. I was astonished at the amount of theft and the lack of regulations that would enable it to be caught in a timely manner. Anyway, here is one article that explains just a few of the reasons to avoid prepayment. Hint, put the money in a fund that your survivors can get to to pay the expenses (and make sure you have a trustworthy executor).

https://www.fool.com/investing/gene...you-should-never-prepay-funeral-expenses.aspx


----------



## toffee (Dec 10, 2019)

wrote in a book about my funeral' flowers I want song to  be played 'message for my sons to read ect...but havnt told anyone ==dont wanna tempt fate LOL


----------



## Ladybj (Dec 10, 2019)

Leann said:


> Up until three years ago, I was an expert at avoiding the whole final plans thing. I still haven't covered all of the bases yet but I'm making progress.
> 
> Three years ago my younger brother died unexpectedly. He was 57. There isn't a day that I don't miss him with all of my heart. His wife had died years earlier of breast cancer and they didn't have children. And there wasn't a will. It was impossibly difficult to deal with the loss of this wonderful person and at the same time make decisions about his home, his large collection of things, his assets and his debts. But my brothers and I got through it.
> 
> ...


This is a great post.  With my sister tragically killed.  It made me want to get my affairs in order... not an easy task to say the least..but necessary. My husband brother passed away and he had property, retirement funds, etc., which caused separation between the brothers and sister...it was a MESS.  One thing I am going to do is to start getting rid of everything that I no longer use. My husband is constantly buying things that we really don't need.  I understand that is his comfort so I don't complain about it.  If he pass away before me.. once I sell some of the stuff, I probably have enough money to pay a couple of months mortgage.


----------



## Ladybj (Dec 10, 2019)

suzyliz631 said:


> Good for you Leann. I just retired and went through hell when my parents died and my brothers and I had to settle the estate. I am the oldest and was named exectuter. It was just too emotional for me so I gave that title (legally) to my brother. He did not do a good job and we all pretty much didn't talk to each other for months and years. What a horrible experience. My last parent died in 2010. It took forever to settle this thing. And we did have a lawyer.  Anyway, enough about my blah blah... Just happy for you doing the the right thing.God bless


My husband went through hell when his brother died.  His deceased brother had property, invetments, etc. which went into probate.  It was a MESS..  My husband has a brother and sister and they were not speaking because of this.  They are now trying to get back on good terms.


----------



## Keesha (Dec 10, 2019)

treeguy64 said:


> Words fail me......


 Ditto. I did a triple take 
31 grand. Wow.


----------



## Nautilus (Dec 11, 2019)

Maybe I'll start a Go Fund Me page for the cryogenic "recycle" of my beautiful mind.  I'll have my insurance proceeds put into "green" stocks and by the 23rd century, I should be a billionaire.  I figure by then, they'll be able to regrow my hair and teeth as well as restore my sight and hearing to 100%.  At the very least, I'll be able to sit in my rocker and bore the hell out of people with stories that begin with, "Back in my day..."  Good plan?


----------



## Ladybj (Dec 11, 2019)

Nautilus said:


> Maybe I'll start a Go Fund Me page for the cryogenic "recycle" of my beautiful mind.  I'll have my insurance proceeds put into "green" stocks and by the 23rd century, I should be a billionaire.  I figure by then, they'll be able to regrow my hair and teeth as well as restore my sight and hearing to 100%.  At the very least, I'll be able to sit in my rocker and bore the hell out of people with stories that begin with, "Back in my day..."  Good plan?


GOOD PLAN!!!!!


----------



## Duster (Dec 11, 2019)

We have cemetery plots where family is buried.  We have wills, but they need updating.  We are in the process of simplifying finances and investments.  We've been downsizing "stuff" for a few years now. Maybe we'll be finished by the time we leave this place.


----------



## Myquest55 (Jul 11, 2020)

Has anyone had to deal with Inheritance or Estate Tax?  My sister is dealing with our father's trust estate and something we've never thought of - estate tax.  Most states are clear about the difference between inheritance tax and estate tax BUT, Pennsylvania lumps them together and has 54+ pages for us to fill out - most of which neither she nor I can comprehend.  We don't feel we should pay an attorney $350+/hr to fill it out....  Any thoughts?


----------



## Trippy Hippie (Jul 11, 2020)

Never being married and never have had children and of course my parents are both deceased I have all my plans written and given to an attorney who once I have passed will then pass those plans onto the proper funeral home director and onto the cemetery. If my best friend out lives me they will also be notified as they have already been told they would be the person to contact other friends as well. So I think I have things pretty much under control. I have in my Will my wished are directly written out how I wish my home to be used. Some of my things I have written out to certain friends and I also have all of my funeral home wishes and cemetery wishes written out as well.


----------



## Marie5656 (Jul 11, 2020)

*Not really final plans, but later in life plans. My niece had a guest suite added to her home. Separate entrance, full bath, small kitchen etc. She has said that down the road I could live there. Not sure if I would take her up on it, but good to know.*


----------



## Keesha (Jul 11, 2020)

No plans at all.


----------



## Knight (Jul 11, 2020)

Myquest55 said:


> Has anyone had to deal with Inheritance or Estate Tax?  My sister is dealing with our father's trust estate and something we've never thought of - estate tax.  Most states are clear about the difference between inheritance tax and estate tax BUT, Pennsylvania lumps them together and has 54+ pages for us to fill out - most of which neither she nor I can comprehend.  We don't feel we should pay an attorney $350+/hr to fill it out....  Any thoughts?


Ask how many hours it will take. The answer depends on how well your father documented all his assets & structured his will determines cost to make sure all legal requirements are met. Once you have an idea of cost look at paying a lawyer to get it right what ever you get can be paid for out of his estate. It in effect doesn't cost you any out of pocket money. The more locating all info needed is what takes away from what is left. Then there are taxes to be considered if Pa. collects on inheritance.

 If there is a lot to do you might want to think about making sure your heirs have all documentation ready when you pass. You might want to read my post #2.


----------



## StarSong (Jul 12, 2020)

Why are you paying estate taxes if there's a trust?  I've been executor or co-executor of two family trusts and no taxes were due on either.  Legal assistance costs were minor, especially relatively speaking. Under $10K for the bigger trust, Under $7K for the smaller.  CPA costs about $1500 each. 

Trusts set up by good attorneys shouldn't be costly to execute, distribute and close out. But this does bring something I learned in the process, but I'll start a new thread for it rather than distract from this one.


----------



## Pepper (Jul 12, 2020)

Keesha said:


> No plans at all.


Same here.


----------



## Barbiegirl (Jul 13, 2020)

We're having a hard time with plans for disposition of our remains. We'd like "green" burials, but those places are few and far between. I'd be happy if they just left my body on top of a mountain and let it slowly return to the earth, but apparently that's frowned on by polite society...


----------



## JustBonee (Jul 13, 2020)

Everything is  in order,   and I hope it goes as smoothly as things did with my husband's  passing.


----------



## Knight (Jul 13, 2020)

Barbiegirl said:


> We're having a hard time with plans for disposition of our remains. We'd like "green" burials, but those places are few and far between. I'd be happy if they just left my body on top of a mountain and let it slowly return to the earth, but apparently that's frowned on by polite society...


Not 100% green but close. Cremation & your ashes spread on a mountain.


----------



## Lovely Rita (Jul 14, 2020)

My husband and I have spoken to both our children concerning this and have specified things for them. My Son knows he is responsible for the financial stuff while my Daughter is responsible for making sure that all our plans are done correctly. As for our assets if my husbands passes first everything of course goes to me and the same if I go first it would go to my husband. Once we both pass we have it stipulated on what my son and daughter gets and grandchildren.


----------



## Nosy Bee-54 (Jul 18, 2020)

All my financials have POD/TOD, so no probate for them. I have a living will and Power of Attorney.

I don't believe in funerals and don't want the funeral industry to make any money except for
cremation. Dead is dead so no memorial either. Where I live the rates currently are $700 to $1,500 for cremation. My kids clearly understand this is what I want and it certainly will make their lives easier. No fuss, no muss. My oldest will spread my ashes at sea.


----------



## drifter (Jul 19, 2020)

We have prepaid creamation plans. Of course with this pandemic and bodies overflowing morgs, no telling what might happen.


----------



## Ruthanne (Jul 19, 2020)

I don't have any plans yet...maybe I should look into those life insurance plans that they keep sending me for final expenses...usually they go in the trash though as they tell me it's important and to open the envelope immediately.  All I do know is that I want cremation.


----------



## StarSong (Jul 20, 2020)

Ruthanne said:


> I don't have any plans yet...maybe I should look into those life insurance plans that they keep sending me for final expenses...usually they go in the trash though as they tell me it's important and to open the envelope immediately.  All I do know is that I want cremation.


We arranged my mother's cremation when she passed away five years ago. Including the costs of having her body transported to the funeral home, the total came to exactly $1079.00 (I just looked it up).  

I don't know if you want or need an insurance policy to cover that, @Ruthanne, because I don't know your finances, but perhaps my experience might help guide your in your decision.


----------



## Butterfly (Jul 20, 2020)

Myquest55 said:


> Has anyone had to deal with Inheritance or Estate Tax?  My sister is dealing with our father's trust estate and something we've never thought of - estate tax.  Most states are clear about the difference between inheritance tax and estate tax BUT, Pennsylvania lumps them together and has 54+ pages for us to fill out - most of which neither she nor I can comprehend.  We don't feel we should pay an attorney $350+/hr to fill it out....  Any thoughts?



Find a cheaper attorney.  Or find an accountant who deals with that sort of thing.  

Trying to save money by not hiring an attorney to do something as complicated as this is penny wise and pound foolish, i.e., trying to do it yourself when it isn't in your area of expertise can cost you a hell of a lot more in the end than hiring a competent professional, especially in the area of taxes and estates, and the general trickiness of trusts probably adds to the complexity.

Hire a professional!


----------



## peppermint (Jul 20, 2020)

My husband and I are still around....Kids have all the paper's they need....If I die before my husband he will still have everything and if my hubby dies I will have everything.......We have a Will...It's not hard, we willed everthing to our 2 kids....2 houses are owned....They will have it easy....

That happened when my Mom Died, Dad was alive...5 years later he passed and me and my brother sold my Dad's home and everything
was settled for both me and my brother....It was in my Dad's will...My Dad didn't have millions....Dad was 87 years old....(I miss Mom and Dad
every day)….they lived very close to us....I go to the block they lived and see the house is different....I still get tears.....


----------



## ronk (Aug 6, 2020)

I have no final plans, and don't plan to make any! For me, it's simple. I'm single. There are no kids. My Dad is 92. He'll likely die before me. Outside of that, he's made sure he's well set with everything he needs. When I die, my body is just an empty shell. I'm not sure if I believe in an Afterlife, but it won't matter whether I'm buried or cremated. I don't know any friends or relatives who will care to mourn for me.


----------



## Ruthanne (Aug 6, 2020)

ronk said:


> I have no final plans, and don't plan to make any! For me, it's simple. I'm single. There are no kids. My Dad is 92. He'll likely die before me. Outside of that, he's made sure he's well set with everything he needs. When I die, my body is just an empty shell. I'm not sure if I believe in an Afterlife, but it won't matter whether I'm buried or cremated. I don't know any friends or relatives who will care to mourn for me.


I'm in the same boat @ronk


----------



## StarSong (Aug 7, 2020)

I understand not caring what happens to the shell of one's body after death, but I don't understand avoiding making arrangements for that shell, particularly if there are no close friends or relatives.    

My nearly 100 year old neighbor outlived her husband and daughter - no grandchildren. Her final instructions were in the same packet as her DNR, including the name of the mortuary that had been prepaid for her funeral. They picked up her body from the hospital and took care of everything according to her wishes.


----------



## Aunt Bea (Aug 7, 2020)

StarSong said:


> I understand not caring what happens to the shell of one's body after death, but I don't understand avoiding making arrangements for that shell, particularly if there are no close friends or relatives.
> 
> My nearly 100 year old neighbor outlived her husband and daughter - no grandchildren. Her final instructions were in the same packet as her DNR, including the name of the mortuary that had been prepaid for her funeral. They picked up her body from the hospital and took care of everything according to her wishes.


I agree!

I took a tip from Falcon and now the first thing you see when you open my wallet is a card with instructions on how to contact my undertaker.

_"People get ready, there's a train a-comin' ..." _- Curtis Mayfield


----------



## Lashann (Aug 7, 2020)

Before we moved here 5 years ago we had our wills checked out/updated.  It's time to meet again with a lawyer to ensure that we've got all the bases covered.  We're also looking into buying a small good quality safe to store all our important papers.


----------



## squatting dog (Aug 16, 2020)

I've checked out the alternatives and think I'll go with this one.


----------



## MarciKS (Aug 16, 2020)

StarSong said:


> I understand not caring what happens to the shell of one's body after death, but I don't understand avoiding making arrangements for that shell, particularly if there are no close friends or relatives.
> 
> My nearly 100 year old neighbor outlived her husband and daughter - no grandchildren. Her final instructions were in the same packet as her DNR, including the name of the mortuary that had been prepaid for her funeral. They picked up her body from the hospital and took care of everything according to her wishes.


What happens if you have no family or friends & you have no arrangements made for when you die? What happens to you? Do you know?


----------



## Aunt Bea (Aug 16, 2020)

MarciKS said:


> What happens if you have no family or friends & you have no arrangements made for when you die? What happens to you? Do you know?


Where I live the county/taxpayers pick up the tab.

The county where I live picks up the tab for approx. 400 dignified funerals each year.  The funerals are performed by local funeral homes and they are reimbursed a set fee by the county.  If people do not have a cemetery plot they are buried in the county cemetery set aside and maintained for that purpose.

If a person is in that situation I think that they should still leave a set of requests/instructions on what they would like for themselves, possessions, pets, etc...


----------



## MarciKS (Aug 16, 2020)

Aunt Bea said:


> Where I live the county/taxpayers pick up the tab.
> 
> The county where I live picks up the tab for approx. 400 dignified funerals each year.  The funerals are performed by local funeral homes and they are reimbursed a set fee by the county.  If people do not have a cemetery plot they are buried in the county cemetery set aside and maintained for that purpose.
> 
> If a person is in that situation I think that they should still leave a set of requests/instructions on what they would like for themselves, possessions, pets, etc...


Thank you for your reponse.


----------



## WhatInThe (Sep 18, 2020)

I'm looking for a proxy to handle my passing at this point. Most family is burdened by their own health and issues and other don't want others near my property or body at the end. I looking to get predesignated plans to be left with a proxy possibly a lawyer so theoretically my body is permanently taken care and notifications sent so others can collect what I have left in inheritance. At this point I'm darn close to gifting the house and other physical property to charity in a one paragraph letter/will.

Too me if I do it right there will be no funeral, cleanouts etc for heirs to do. All they have to do is fillout paperwork as predesignated beneficiaries  on all accounts, policies etc.


----------



## StarSong (Sep 18, 2020)

WhatInThe said:


> I'm looking for a proxy to handle my passing at this point. Most family is burdened by their own health and issues and other don't want others near my property or body at the end. I looking to get predesignated plans to be left with a proxy possibly a lawyer so theoretically my body is permanently taken care and notifications sent so others can collect what I have left in inheritance. At this point I'm darn close to gifting the house and other physical property to charity in a one paragraph letter/will.
> 
> Too me if I do it right there will be no funeral, cleanouts etc for heirs to do. All they have to do is fillout paperwork as predesignated beneficiaries  on all accounts, policies etc.


You have no spouse, children or close relatives?


----------



## WhatInThe (Sep 18, 2020)

StarSong said:


> You have no spouse, children or close relatives?


I have some I could ask and they would probably do it but I don't want to burden them with that responsibility. And I absolutely want certain blood relatives shut out of the process 100%. Not going to leave anything to chance that's why I'm thinking about a paid proxy


----------



## win231 (Sep 18, 2020)

I haven't exactly made plans.  But I'm leaving enough money to the people who will survive me to easily pay for my funeral.  And for the champagne.....
This is a good reminder that I should plan for it.


----------



## peppermint (Sep 18, 2020)

We've had this done a long time ago....Kids know where everything is....We have 2 kids....Both married and have kids..
They will share the 2 homes....Unless we don't want the other home, they will have 1 home to share and the money...
They could do whatever they want to do with our leaving this world....I really don't care.....


----------



## csimone (Sep 21, 2020)

Myquest55 said:


> Has anyone had to deal with Inheritance or Estate Tax?  My sister is dealing with our father's trust estate and something we've never thought of - estate tax.  Most states are clear about the difference between inheritance tax and estate tax BUT, Pennsylvania lumps them together and has 54+ pages for us to fill out - most of which neither she nor I can comprehend.  We don't feel we should pay an attorney $350+/hr to fill it out....  Any thoughts?


What'd you ending up doing to help sort this out? Did you hire an attorney?


----------



## Liberty (Sep 22, 2020)

csimone said:


> What'd you ending up doing to help sort this out? Did you hire an attorney?


A cousin married into a family who's father invested heavily in real estate in Pottstown, PA. The cousin had to go there and spend months and months straightening out the inheritance issues.  I'd definitely consult a good estate lawyer, assuming the inheritance is monetarily worth it, of course.


----------

