# Scared, Landlord Selling Building, Will Have To Move



## Patnono (Dec 2, 2019)

Looks like my landlords going to sell my building, I'm scared because I have a bankruptcy on my record.  I had medical issues that I couldn't handle like alot of us Seniors.  I'm afraid it's going to be difficult to find a place to live?  I'm actually looking for a room to rent can't afford an apartment my kids have been helping me with the rent  they'd be going Their way.  Even with them they'll hold my bankruptcy against me?  I've looked into Senior housing, there's a waiting list years long. At a lost of what to do?  My siblings don't have room. Thanks for reading


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## Keesha (Dec 2, 2019)

Isn’t there a social service or some type of government service that can help you out?
Here we have many types of free services that will help people of all ages.

Maybe look up social services for your area and contact them. Usually one service will refer you to other services that can help.

That’s where I would start. They might know of homes where older people are sharing living expenses etc.,


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## bingo (Dec 2, 2019)

is the person buying the building renting out same as before?
may not even get a buyer...I hope that'll give you more time


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## Catlady (Dec 2, 2019)

Here in AZ we have an agency called Council on Aging, below is the one where you live and other resources for seniors

https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-1-d&q=council+on+aging+in+whittier,+california


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## Patnono (Dec 2, 2019)

Thanks for replying, I have looked into rooms for rent.  I live in California, even rent for a room is shockingly High. Someone ask for $700 to share a room???  I wrote them are You kidding?  Other's are asking $1000,00 or more.  I've stopped eating I'm so stressed.  I can't help it, so upset.  No surprise the government doesn't consider me in need.  I only get a $1000,00 a month in Social Security.  Their holding retirement money against Me.  It's really Not alot, I guess they want me to be distitut/Homeless?


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## Patnono (Dec 2, 2019)

bingo said:


> is the person buying the building renting out same as before?
> may not even get a buyer...I hope that'll give you more time



I don't know? Usually the new owners would want to charge more because of the new mortgage their going to acquire,?  My govenor sign a new rent control law which takes effect next Month.  SOME landlords got greedy and brought this on themselves, there are good landlords out there, their going to pay for the others. My sister in One shot got her rent raised $500.  My landlord has raised mine $200 then $100.  I've lived here 20 years.


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## Kaila (Dec 2, 2019)

Some of the wait lists for subsidized SENIOR or disabled housing, will move someone to the top of their list , if they are in risk of being made homeless.  I would check that possibility out.  Also, the local area agencies on aging, are helpful with suggestions.


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## chic (Dec 2, 2019)

It's true section 8 housing does have waiting lists of years. Do you know who the new owners of your building will be? They might keep you as a tenant anyway despite your previous bankruptcy as long as you have been financially solvent since. I'd apply for subsidized housing asap as you never know what can happen and you seem to have no viable alternatives at present.


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## Keesha (Dec 2, 2019)

This site looks very helpful for your area. I’d start calling around. Also, aren’t there laws that prevent landlords from evicting tenants , like in the winter time? I’d start writing all these questions down in a notebook. You might be protected somehow.

https://www.coasc.org/

It might be the same site.


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## Patnono (Dec 2, 2019)

Kaila said:


> Some of the wait lists for subsidized SENIOR or disabled housing, will move someone to the top of their list , if they are in risk of being made homeless.  I would check that possibility out.  Also, the local area agencies on aging, are helpful with suggestions.


Interesting, didn't think about that possibility?  Will look into it.  Thanks


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## Patnono (Dec 2, 2019)

Keesha said:


> This site looks very helpful for your area. I’d start calling around. Also, aren’t there laws that prevent landlords from evicting tenants , like in the winter time? I’d start writing all these questions down in a notebook. You might be protected somehow.
> 
> https://www.coasc.org/
> 
> It might be the same site.



I don't believe they'd do that, they would expect me pay the rent increase that's usually how it works?  My rent already alittle over $1600, can't afford any more. My health isn't good, Diabetes etc. I tried working at a couple of places, couldn't too physically demanding


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## Patnono (Dec 2, 2019)

Keesha said:


> This site looks very helpful for your area. I’d start calling around. Also, aren’t there laws that prevent landlords from evicting tenants , like in the winter time? I’d start writing all these questions down in a notebook. You might be protected somehow.
> 
> https://www.coasc.org/
> 
> It might be the same site.



Oh, thanks for the link, very sweet of you


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## Butterfly (Dec 2, 2019)

You may have to consider the possibility of moving out of California, where costs of living are so high and housing is in short supply.  Look at nearby states to see if you could find a better deal in one of them.  I know you don't want to leave California, but moving away would be a lot better than sleeping on the streets.


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## Patnono (Dec 2, 2019)

Butterfly said:


> You may have to consider the possibility of moving out of California, where costs of living are so high and housing is in short supply.  Look at nearby states to see if you could find a better deal in one of them.  I know you don't want to leave California, but moving away would be a lot better than sleeping on the streets.


You're right, I have looked into it, the problem will be my bankruptcy, I know some apartments allow cosigner's, then most won't.  I'll just pray for a Miracle  thanks for writing


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## Patnono (Dec 3, 2019)

chic said:


> It's true section 8 housing does have waiting lists of years. Do you know who the new owners of your building will be? They might keep you as a tenant anyway despite your previous bankruptcy as long as you have been financially solvent since. I'd apply for subsidized housing asap as you never know what can happen and you seem to have no viable alternatives at present.


Thanks for writing, someone else gave me some interesting information that if a senior housing agency suspect a senior might become homeless that they might put them at the top of the list.  I spoke to a senior friend of mine and believes that happened to her?  She told them she didn't have anyplace else to go and got in pretty quick. Do I'll be looking into that possibility?


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## OneEyedDiva (Dec 3, 2019)

It seems you've gotten some very good advice here Patnono.  I hope you will take the time to follow up on each one of them and not accept defeat before trying each lead.


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## Patnono (Dec 3, 2019)

OneEyedDiva said:


> It seems you've gotten some very good advice here Patnono.  I hope you will take the time to follow up on each one of them and not accept defeat before trying each lead.



Thanks, I will


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## gennie (Dec 3, 2019)

If I was faced with living under a bridge or moving to a cheaper place, I wouldn't be on my computer or on my knees praying for a miracle either.  I'd be packing my suitcase and getting a ticket on Greyhound.


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## Patnono (Dec 3, 2019)

gennie said:


> If I was faced with living under a bridge or moving to a cheaper place, I wouldn't be on my computer or on my knees praying for a miracle either.  I'd be packing my suitcase and getting a ticket on Greyhound.



To where?  I'm Not that position where I need to do that?  Like someone else wrote, the new landlord might want to keep me as a tenant?  I've been here 20 years, never late paying the rent or caused any problems for them.  I'm thinking just in case.  Pray Never hurts to do.


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## gennie (Dec 3, 2019)

Patnono said:


> To where?  I'm Not that position where I need to do that?  Like someone else wrote, the new landlord might want to keep me as a tenant?  I've been here 20 years, never late paying the rent or caused any problems for them.  I'm thinking just in case.  Pray Never hurts to do.



Sorry, I guess I mis-read your heading.  

*"Scared, Landlord Selling Building, Will Have To Move"*


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## Knight (Dec 3, 2019)

Should things go wrong for you is there a reason you wouldn't want to move? 

Out of curiosity I've looked at places around the country & am amazed at the low cost to buy a home.  In Penna. for example there is a 3 bedroom  1 bath home on over 2 acres of land for $39,000.00.  With 20% down the monthly payments including property taxes could be as little as $300.00 a month. 

Since you are on Soc. Sec. you have options about where to live.


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## Catlady (Dec 3, 2019)

Patnono said:


> *To where?* *I'm Not that position where I need to do that*?  Like someone else wrote, *the new landlord might want to keep me as a tenant*?  I've been here 20 years, never late paying the rent or caused any problems for them.  I'm thinking just in case.  *Pray Never hurts to do*.


You're always complaining about having money problems, yet you insist on staying and living in a very expensive state.   You don't want solutions, you just like to complain.  You can probably find cheaper lifestyles in states just across the border.  If you just want to stay in CA because you want to live near family, ask them to take you in and live with them even if you have to pay rent to them.   If you don't want advice, don't ask for advice and do things YOUR way or pray till kingdom come if you think prayers REALLY work.


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## Patnono (Dec 3, 2019)

Knight said:


> Should things go wrong for you is there a reason you wouldn't want to move?
> 
> Out of curiosity I've looked at places around the country & am amazed at the low cost to buy a home.  In Penna. for example there is a 3 bedroom  1 bath home on over 2 acres of land for $39,000.00.  With 20% down the monthly payments including property taxes could be as little as $300.00 a month.
> 
> Since you are on Soc. Sec. you have options about where to live.



Thanks for writing, where is Penna? Never heard of it?  I have looked at different places out of State. Don't want to buy can't afford to. El Paso, Texas which is where my dad's from, a 1 bedroom 1 bath is $445 per month. Texas is a No state taxes are charged


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## Knight (Dec 3, 2019)

Patnono said:


> Thanks for writing, where is Penna? Never heard of it?  I have looked at different places out of State. Don't want to buy can't afford to. El Paso, Texas which is where my dad's from, a 1 bedroom 1 bath is $445 per month. Texas is a No state taxes are charged



Penna. is the abbreviation for the state Pennsylvania.  Others use Pa. as the abbreviation


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## Patnono (Dec 3, 2019)

Catlady said:


> You're always complaining about having money problems, yet you insist on staying and living in a very expensive state.   You don't want solutions, you just like to complain.  You can probably find cheaper lifestyles in states just across the border.  If you just want to stay in CA because you want to live near family, ask them to take you in and live with them even if you have to pay rent to them.   If you don't want advice, don't ask for advice and do things YOUR way or pray till kingdom come if you think prayers REALLY work.



You sound like an unhappy person who lack empathy for others?  I'm Not complaining just stating my situation.  People think if you "JUST" do this and do that is "JUST" that easy?  If it where?  No one would have problems?  You don't know my background and what I'm up against?  I'm sure you're Life isn't "Perfect". And you probably do your share of complaining?


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## Gary O' (Dec 3, 2019)

Patnono said:


> My rent already alittle over $1600, can't afford any more.





Patnono said:


> I only get a $1000,00 a month in Social Security






Knight said:


> In Penna. for example there is a 3 bedroom 1 bath home on over 2 acres of land for $39,000.00. With 20% down the monthly payments including property taxes could be as little as $300.00 a month.



Heh, my bags would be packed


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## Patnono (Dec 3, 2019)

Knight said:


> Penna. is the abbreviation for the state Pennsylvania.  Others use Pa. as the abbreviation



Oh, lol I've been out there it's Beautiful.  The only thing that might hold me back, is that I have bankruptcy on my record.  I had a medical situation that I couldn't afford.  I'm looking for a job for which isn't easy for people my age?  I've had a couple of them, but couldn't physically couldn't do them. Still looking?


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## Catlady (Dec 3, 2019)

Patnono said:


> You sound like an unhappy person who lack empathy for others?  I'm Not complaining just stating my situation.  People think if you "JUST" do this and do that is "JUST" that easy?  If it where?  No one would have problems?  You don't know my background and what I'm up against?  I'm sure you're Life isn't "Perfect". And you probably do your share of complaining?


If I have a PROBLEM, I find a solution to it.  If I'm too close to the problem and can't figure out the solution, I ask others for advice and pick out the advice that works best for ME.  Two years ago I had a problem and posted here asking for  opinions and solutions, the good posters gave me some, and I solved my problem by implementing that advice.  You've been complaining about your financial problems for the two years I've been a member and continually shoot down and find fault for EVERY advice given to you, or claim you will do something and never do.


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## C'est Moi (Dec 3, 2019)

Patnono said:


> You sound like an unhappy person who lack empathy for others?  I'm Not complaining just stating my situation.  People think if you "JUST" do this and do that is "JUST" that easy?  If it where?  No one would have problems?  You don't know my background and what I'm up against?  I'm sure you're Life isn't "Perfect". And you probably do your share of complaining?


Seems to me that Catlady is spot on.  Every post you make is some kind of desperate situation; sometimes I wonder if you are playing with the kind people on this forum.


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## Catlady (Dec 3, 2019)

Patnono said:


> Thanks for writing, where is Penna? Never heard of it?  I have looked at different places out of State. Don't want to buy can't afford to. *El Paso, Texas which is where my dad's from, a 1 bedroom 1 bath is $445 per month. Texas is a No state taxes are charged*


So, why don't you move there, $445 is a lot better than $1600 a month.  I remember reading your daughter lives or lived there, is she still there?


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## Patnono (Dec 3, 2019)

Catlady said:


> So, why don't you move there, $445 is a lot better than $1600 a month.  I remember reading your daughter lives or lived there, is she still there?



Believe me if it Where that Easy?  Like I said my bankruptcy will be held against me.  I've already called some places and won't even take a co-signer.  I read online that you'd have to look for an independent owner who you could convince them to rent to people like me?  But unfortunately they are far and few between.  Most hire management agencies to take care of their properties for them.


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## Catlady (Dec 3, 2019)

Patnono said:


> Believe me if it Where that Easy?  Like I said my bankruptcy will be held against me.  I've already called some places and won't even take a co-signer.  I read online that you'd have to look for an independent owner who you could convince them to rent to people like me?  But unfortunately they are far and few between.  Most hire management agencies to take care of their properties for them.


Money always talks.  Offer them to give them a deposit of 6 months rent, and pay rent on time and be a model tenant and take a month-to-month lease.  If you goof up after a couple of months, they'll have plenty of time to evict you.  Make them the offer and see what they say, it won't hurt to ask.  I know bankruptcies are hard to live down, but maybe you can find a laid-back landlord or desperate manager wanting to fill those units.  Maybe you can find a roommate or your daughter to rent the apartment for you in their name.  Desperate situations demand desperate solutions.  "Where there's a will, there is a way!".


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## Patnono (Dec 3, 2019)

Catlady said:


> Money always talks.  Offer them to give them a deposit of 6 months rent, and pay rent on time and be a model tenant and take a month-to-month lease.  If you goof up after a couple of months, they'll have plenty of time to evict you.  Make them the offer and see what they say, it won't hurt to ask.  I know bankruptcies are hard to live down, but maybe you can find a laid-back landlord or desperate manager wanting to fill those units.  Maybe you can find a roommate or your daughter to rent the apartment for you in their name.  Desperate situations demand desperate solutions.  "Where there's a will, there is a way!".



Thanks for your support.   Yea, that's a thought?  I'm a model tenant right now, I've been here 20 years, Never been late with the rent, never gave problems, like to be low key. Ill maybe use her as a reference?  They'll not nesscisarily personable people?


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## Catlady (Dec 3, 2019)

You didn't answer, is your daughter still in El Paso?  Could she rent the apartment in her name?  I'm not sure if it's even possible to do that, but you can always research and find out.  That $445 apartment is only 1/4 of what you pay now, I'd move heaven and hell to get something like that if I were you.


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## Patnono (Dec 3, 2019)

Catlady said:


> You didn't answer, is your daughter still in El Paso?  Could she rent the apartment in her name?  I'm not sure if it's even possible to do that, but you can always research and find out.  That $445 apartment is only 1/4 of what you pay now, I'd move heaven and hell to get something like that if I were you.



I said my dad was from there.  I've already looked into those apartments, they won't accept bankruptcy or a co-signer.  I'll continue looking.  Thanks


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## Keesha (Dec 3, 2019)

Catlady said:


> Money always talks.  Offer them to give them a deposit of 6 months rent, and pay rent on time and be a model tenant and take a month-to-month lease.  If you goof up after a couple of months, they'll have plenty of time to evict you.  Make them the offer and see what they say, it won't hurt to ask.  I know bankruptcies are hard to live down, but maybe you can find a laid-back landlord or desperate manager wanting to fill those units.  Maybe you can find a roommate or your daughter to rent the apartment for you in their name.  Desperate situations demand desperate solutions.  "Where there's a will, there is a way!".


That’s some great advice.


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## Patnono (Dec 3, 2019)

Keesha said:


> That’s some great advice.


It is, I take it


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## StarSong (Dec 3, 2019)

I'm familiar with your area and just spent five minutes on Craigslist for rentals.  In Whittier, La Habra, Costa Mesa and surrounding areas there are rooms for rent from $500/month and thereabouts.  These are rooms to rent, meaning houses to share.  Of course, you'd have to qualify financially and blend well with the other occupants' lifestyles, schedules and personalities.    

That said, if your total income is $1000 per month, it's probably past time to look at a less costly state than CA. Without some sizeable retirement savings, a large income of SS and/or pension, outright owning a home, or significant family support, most seniors have been priced out of much of California.

This should be no surprise to you. Local & national news are chock full of stories of Californians who wind up homeless because they cannot afford escalating rents. Pat, you've long complained on this forum that your living situation with your daughter and family has not been emotionally good (plus I got the very strong sense that you were helping her financially rather than the other way around), and you've talked about separating households for your sanity and financial health.

A very short sequence of bad events could have you living in your car. A new landlord, an eviction to do building renovations or some other legal reason, a change in your daughter's situation, or who knows-what-all, and you'll be (as we used to say) screwed, blued and tattooed.

p.s. How long ago did you file bankruptcy?  If it's been a while and your finances have been clean since then, new landlords may not weigh the BK too heavily against you.


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## Catlady (Dec 3, 2019)

Patnono said:


> *I said my dad was from there*.  I've already looked into those apartments, *they won't accept bankruptcy or a co-signer*.  I'll continue looking.  Thanks


You said a year or so ago that your daughter moved to El Paso, rented a house, her husband is an accountant.  Is she still there?

I said to get someone else to rent the apartment in their name and let you live there by paying THEM the rent, or get a roommate with only their name on the lease.


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## Patnono (Dec 3, 2019)

StarSong said:


> I'm familiar with your area and just spent five minutes on Craigslist for rentals.  In Whittier, La Habra, Costa Mesa and surrounding areas there are rooms for rent from $500/month and thereabouts.  These are rooms to rent, meaning houses to share.  Of course, you'd have to qualify financially and blend well with the other occupants' lifestyles, schedules and personalities.
> 
> That said, if your total income is $1000 per month, it's probably past time to look at a less costly state than CA. Without some sizeable retirement savings, a large income of SS and/or pension, outright owning a home, or significant family support, most seniors have been priced out of much of California.
> 
> ...


Yes, about my daughter it's a little complicated, what I haven't mentioned was that she's learning disabled.  We're both working together to find a solution to our living situation, but my health isn't good, Diabetes, Macular Degeneration a blindness decease. I'm a typical mom who puts her kids needs above hers.  I know that might not make sense to you or others?  What my mom has Always said about me is that I've always been out of all her kids (9 of us) has landed on my feet.  My kids and I at one time where homeless for several weeks leaving an abusive husband.  That was 20 years ago.  So hopefully something will come up.  And I'd like to say for others who will read this critizing me Preying?  What's Wrong with that?  Thanks


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## Catlady (Dec 3, 2019)

Patnono said:


> And I'd like to say for others who will read this critizing me Preying?  What's Wrong with that?



You can pray all you want, but help yourself in the meantime.  I've read a saying,  "God helps those who help themselves".


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## Knight (Dec 3, 2019)

Gary O' said:


> Heh, my bags would be packed


I'm thinking of buying this cash as an investment & rental property. 
$39,000

Est. Mortgage $266/mo
3 Beds
1 Bath
1,159 sqft

Single Family Home$34/sq
ftLot Size: 2.10 acres
Built in 1945
180+ Days on Trulia
6 Rooms
Heating: Forced AirHeating 
Fuel: Oil
Cooling System: Central


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## Gary O' (Dec 3, 2019)

Knight said:


> I'm thinking of buying this cash as an investment & rental property.


Yeah, and rent it to Patnono
'course you'd prolly have to put up with some complaints....


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## Catlady (Dec 3, 2019)

Knight said:


> I'm thinking of buying this cash as an investment & rental property.
> $39,000
> 
> Est. Mortgage $266/mo
> ...



For that price and that age it probably looks like this =


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## Knight (Dec 3, 2019)

Catlady said:


> For that price and that age it probably looks like this =
> 
> View attachment 83538


Uh no look up 122 weber rd. johnstown pa.


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## StarSong (Dec 3, 2019)

Patnono said:


> Yes, about my daughter it's a little complicated, what I haven't mentioned was that she's learning disabled.  We're both working together to find a solution to our living situation, but my health isn't good, Diabetes, Macular Degeneration a blindness decease. *I'm a typical mom who puts her kids needs above hers.  I know that might not make sense to you or others?  *What my mom has Always said about me is that I've always been out of all her kids (9 of us) has landed on my feet.  My kids and I at one time where homeless for several weeks leaving an abusive husband.  That was 20 years ago.  So hopefully something will come up.  And I'd like to say for others who will read this critizing me Preying?  What's Wrong with that?  Thanks


Not sure what makes you think that we haven't prioritized our children.  Most SF members comment often about our strong relationships with our kids.  And nobody's criticizing you for hoping and praying.   If that's how you think this will get solved, then go for it. 

For the past two years we've been offering suggestions about your housing crisis. It doesn't seem like the ball has been moved forward in all of that time.


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## Catlady (Dec 3, 2019)

WOW, no way!!!!  Beautiful!  But why so cheap?

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/122-Weber-Rd-Johnstown-PA-15905/78752943_zpid/


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## StarSong (Dec 3, 2019)

Catlady said:


> WOW, no way!!!!  Beautiful!
> 
> https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/122-Weber-Rd-Johnstown-PA-15905/78752943_zpid/



Looks nice, but also appears to be out in the middle of nowhere.


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## Catlady (Dec 3, 2019)

StarSong said:


> For the past two years we've been offering suggestions about your housing crisis. It doesn't seem like the ball has been moved forward in all of that time.



This is what she wrote when she joined SF back in Jan 2018 =  https://www.seniorforums.com/threads/hello-new-to-website.34178/

Thank you for your kind words. You are correct I do rent. I'm glad I found this site. I need to move to save the relationship, I could die and she'll have to figure it out anyway. I want to Not feel trapped anymore, which is how I feel. I pay All the bills, sleep on a futon and have No voice.  My mom long ago just upped and moved out leaving my brother, sister and grandchildren. I througt How could she do that?  Now I know, she was pushed to the wall putting up with the same things.  So I'll do what I have to do.


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## peppermint (Dec 3, 2019)

patnono...I'm sorry for what you have to go through....I'm not going to tell you what to do....
I would never tell anyone information unless I know the person....
I hope you find a place to live....(Only one thing....I wouldn't live in California)....


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## Knight (Dec 3, 2019)

Catlady said:


> WOW, no way!!!!  Beautiful!  But why so cheap?
> 
> https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/122-Weber-Rd-Johnstown-PA-15905/78752943_zpid/


All over America there are places that are cheap compared to what many experience. Living where the fear of eviction hangs over a persons head when they don't have to work & could qualify for aid doesn't seem logical to me..

BTW this is another place in America where for me homes are dirt cheap.

https://www.zillow.com/cherokee-village-ar/


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## Keesha (Dec 3, 2019)

Wow is right!


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## Catlady (Dec 3, 2019)

WOW, this house is beautiful for $128,000
https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/32-Flathead-Dr-Cherokee-Village-AR-72529/232278850_zpid/
And this one is cute for only $45,000.  But, what does this mean, that the buyer has to find a way to throw the occupant out?  {{Buyer will be responsible for obtaining possession of the property upon closing.}}

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/23-Altakima-Cir-Cherokee-Village-AR-72529/109120942_zpid/


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## Ruthanne (Dec 3, 2019)

Much good luck to you.  I can certainly relate to your situation although my kids are of the fur and feather kind.


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## Knight (Dec 3, 2019)

Catlady said:


> WOW, this house is beautiful for $128,000
> https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/32-Flathead-Dr-Cherokee-Village-AR-72529/232278850_zpid/
> And this one is cute for only $45,000.  But, what does this mean, that the buyer has to find a way to throw the occupant out?  {{Buyer will be responsible for obtaining possession of the property upon closing.}}
> 
> https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/23-Altakima-Cir-Cherokee-Village-AR-72529/109120942_zpid/


I'm not trying to hijack this thread about Patnono's concern. This is about looking for and finding solutions to living within one's ability to pay for a home or decent place to live.


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## Catlady (Dec 3, 2019)

Knight said:


> I'm not trying to hijack this thread about Patnono's concern. This is about looking for and finding solutions to living within one's ability to pay for a home or decent place to live.


@Knight , I doubt Patnono has the money to buy a house, even a cheap $39,000 one.  And I doubt she's serious about finding a solution to her problem.  Just read her first posts two years ago and it sounds like a broken record, same problem and same complaints.


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## OneEyedDiva (Dec 4, 2019)

Gary O' said:


> Yeah, and rent it to Patnono
> 'course you'd prolly have to put up with some complaints....


You're just *so* bad Gary!  LOL


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## OneEyedDiva (Dec 4, 2019)

Knight said:


> I'm not trying to hijack this thread about Patnono's concern. This is about looking for and finding solutions to living within one's ability to pay for a home or decent place to live.


Looks real nice Knight, but Uh ugn...I bet there's snakes out there in 'dem woods!  LOL


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## Gary O' (Dec 4, 2019)

OneEyedDiva said:


> You're just *so* bad Gary!




Who, Moi???


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## Squirl (Dec 4, 2019)

Have you considered moving to Las Vegas.  Not terribly far from CA and I know locally there are subsidized Senior Apartments.   Have you looked on www.gosection8.com it a website that tends to have more reasonable housing, and most of the advertisers don’t require the applicants to be on section 8.


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## Squirl (Dec 4, 2019)

https://www.gosection8.com/Section-...NV/2-bedroom-2-bathroom-rental-4-Plex/4889040
This one includes utilities


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## Catlady (Dec 4, 2019)

Squirl said:


> https://www.gosection8.com/Section-...NV/2-bedroom-2-bathroom-rental-4-Plex/4889040
> This one includes utilities


Nice looking place and fairly reasonable.  Patnono says that she filed bankruptcy for medical reasons and fears being rejected for that reason.  She won't say how long ago that was (I think BR's stay on your record for 7 years?).  She could also share a place with a roommate whose name only is on the lease.  She finds fault with every advise or suggestion she receives for a problem that has been ongoing for *TWO YEARS*. Your advise/suggestion will also surely fall on deaf ears. Don't feel bad.


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## Marie5656 (Dec 4, 2019)

I found some info about shared housing for seniors.  I have started a separate thread.  An interesting concept for any of us

https://www.seniorforums.com/threads/co-housing-for-seniors.44928/#post-1190534


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## Butterfly (Dec 4, 2019)

IMHO, and if I were in her shoes, I would certainly NOT be planning to stay in CA.  Rent will keep going up there and it's probably only a matter of time until she'd get priced out, anyway.  

I believe a new landlord would be more interested in her record of 20 years of living in the same place without any issues than in a bankruptcy.  And, of course, it makes a lot of difference how old that bankruptcy actually is.  In any event, unless it was over 20 years ago, it hasn't affected her ability to keep up with her rent.

My best advice is to get the heck out of CA and find a cheaper state to live in and do some serious looking and seriously test the waters online and by phone before it is too late. CA just isn't the place to be if you're on a fixed income.

Also, the first thing she should do is ask the new landlord what his plans are and if and by how much he plans to raise the rent.


----------



## Keesha (Dec 4, 2019)

Patnono said:


> I don't believe they'd do that, they would expect me pay the rent increase that's usually how it works?  My rent already alittle over $1600, can't afford any more. My health isn't good, Diabetes etc. I tried working at a couple of places, couldn't too physically demanding


Hey Pat. I’m with Butterfly , Gary and all the others who suggest leaving the state altogether. You are paying through the nose $1600 for rent when you only get $1,000 in social security.

There are plenty of cheaper places where you could get your own room and have money left over for food and expenses. I think you need to be more sensible about the choices you make and , more importantly perhaps, .... follow though.


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## Patnono (Dec 4, 2019)

Catlady said:


> You can pray all you want, but help yourself in the meantime.  I've read a saying,  "God helps those who help themselves".
> 
> View attachment 83527


IAM trying to help myself, I know nothing going to be dropped on my lap.


Keesha said:


> Hey Pat. I’m with Butterfly , Gary and all the others who suggest leaving the state altogether. You are paying through the nose $1600 for rent when you only get $1,000 in social security.
> 
> There are plenty of cheaper places where you could get your own room and have money left over for food and expenses. I think you need to be more sensible about the choices you make and , more importantly perhaps, .... follow though.



I totally agree, I make up the difference with my retirement savings, it goes Fast.  The hold back is it's hard with a bankruptcy over your head. I've been looking, some won't even accept co-signers . I'll keep trying, I have no choice.  Thanks


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## Keesha (Dec 4, 2019)

If you’ve lived where you currently do for 20 years then why not get a signed reference letter from them proving that even though you had a bankruptcy, you still paid your rent. 

I’d start treating this like a resume application almost. As you prepare putting it together it ‘should’ help build up your confidence some.

Good luck Pat


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## Patnono (Dec 4, 2019)

Keesha said:


> If you’ve lived where you currently do for 20 years then why not get a signed reference letter from them proving that even though you had a bankruptcy, you still paid your rent.
> 
> I’d start treating this like a resume application almost. As you prepare putting it together it ‘should’ help build up your confidence some.
> 
> Good luck Pat❤


That's a good idea?  What they did which I think was Evil?  Is that they raised everyone's rent knowing that they were selling the property . So I'm sure the owners will want to raise the rent again because they will be aquiring a new mortgage, I think she's selling is because rent control is kicking in next month, they won't be able to raise the rents like theyve been doing. Thanks for the support


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## Keesha (Dec 4, 2019)

Who knows why she’s raising the rent. It’s already too high  so I wouldn’t even waste any more time on it. In fact, if what you are doing isn’t getting the results you want then drop it.

Plan your goal, focus and work towards it
You’ve had some great ideas offered here. 
It’s a good group.


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## Patnono (Dec 4, 2019)

Keesha said:


> Who knows why she’s raising the rent. It’s already too high  so I wouldn’t even waste any more time on it. In fact, if what you are doing isn’t getting the results you want then drop it.
> 
> Plan your goal, focus and work towards it
> You’ve had some great ideas offered here.
> It’s a good group.



Your Right, I just can't understand how people can treat others like that?  I'm about helping and caring about other's.


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## cheviee (Dec 5, 2019)

Sound like a sad story, I hope you find a home soon you might wanna search on the internet and facebook too for a rental place or an agency for seniors that can help?


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## Patnono (Dec 5, 2019)

cheviee said:


> Sound like a sad story, I hope you find a home soon you might wanna search on the internet and facebook too for a rental place or an agency for seniors that can help?



Thank you, I was given good ideas from some who have written. There's got to be something out there?  I saw a story about seniors who don't have enough to eat broke my heart, IAM grateful for what I have, don't want to end up like them.


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## Butterfly (Dec 5, 2019)

Patnono, you still haven't said how long back was your bankruptcy?


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## Butterfly (Dec 5, 2019)

Patnono said:


> Your Right, I just can't understand how people can treat others like that?  I'm about helping and caring about other's.



Probably they are facing higher costs themselves, property taxes, etc.  Everything is going up everywhere.  Maybe they're just trying to make ends meet like everyone else is.  People can't afford to run a rental property if it isn't profitable.


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## treeguy64 (Dec 5, 2019)

Folks, Pat routinely asks for advice, in here, and then ignores it, as she posts asking for advice on similar matters a few months later. I believe she's trolling. 

Also, what's with the repetitive, annoying ending of simple declarative sentences with a "?" ?


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## Catlady (Dec 5, 2019)

Butterfly said:


> Probably they are facing higher costs themselves, property taxes, etc.  Everything is going up everywhere.  Maybe they're just trying to make ends meet like everyone else is.  People can't afford to run a rental property if it isn't profitable.


Everything you said could be true.  It could also be that they raised the rents to get a better selling price (if they raised them just before they put the place on the market).  Can't blame them for looking out for themselves.  Rentals are a business for the owners, not a charity.


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## treeguy64 (Dec 5, 2019)

Butterfly said:


> Probably they are facing higher costs themselves, property taxes, etc.  Everything is going up everywhere.  Maybe they're just trying to make ends meet like everyone else is.  People can't afford to run a rental property if it isn't profitable.


Bingo! As a landlord of the past thirty-three years, I can attest that rising taxes have forced me to repeatedly raise my rents, over time. I have no desire to stick it to my tenants. Rather, even with raising my rents, I do not make a penny on my houses until half the year is gone!


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## treeguy64 (Dec 5, 2019)

Patnono said:


> That's a good idea?  What they did which I think was Evil?  Snip!



Why are you asking us these questions?  From the (not included) context, you seem to want to convey information, your opinion. You're ending too many of your declarative sentences with a question mark, in so many of your posts.  You will get your information across, in a smoother fashion, if you use the "." instead of the "?".


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## Patnono (Dec 5, 2019)

treeguy64 said:


> Why are you asking us these questions?  From the (not included) context, you seem to want to convey information, your opinion. You're ending too many of your declarative sentences with a question mark, in so many of your posts.  You will get your information across, in a smoother fashion, if you use the "." instead of the "?".


You sound like your having a BAD day???  Why is me asking a question bothering you?  That's what people do?  Why Not skip something if you don't like what your seeing?  You've Never asked a question if anyone?  Try and have a better day by being NICE to others you'll feel better.  Take care


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## Liberty (Dec 5, 2019)

Patnono said:


> I said my dad was from there.  I've already looked into those apartments, they won't accept bankruptcy or a co-signer.  I'll continue looking.  Thanks


How long ago did you declare bankruptcy?


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## gennie (Dec 5, 2019)

Patnono said:


> Your Right, I just can't understand how people can treat others like that?  I'm about helping and caring about other's.


Sometimes we must simply accept what IS and live our lives around it.  Dwelling on the unpleasant nature of others will only make you miserable.  The world is not fair.  Accept it.  Move on.


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## StarSong (Dec 5, 2019)

Like gravity, mathematics dispassionately remains exactly the same whether one believes in it or not.

Sometimes people are unwilling to read the writing on the wall, even when it's in bold font, ten feet high, and is clearly demonstrated by a 2nd grade math problem, i.e., if we can't cover our overhead with our income, our savings are going to rapidly disappear.

Pat, over past two years you've reported attempting several jobs in various fields, all of which collapsed almost immediately. Plus your health continues to deteriorate. So it's unlikely that future employment will fill your financial gap, thus you'll need to rely on SS and savings.

The sooner you eliminate or minimize your upside-down financial predicament the more options you'll have. The longer you delay with reasons, excuses, hopes and prayers, the more dire your situation will ultimately become. The math doesn't change.

For the record, your landlord isn't being villainous or greedy ($1600 a month for a suburban Los Angeles 1-2 bedroom apartment is actually below market pricing). Landlords are not running charities; owning property is their business for which they expect to realize a profit. As with all businesses, we are free to patronize that landlord or not.

You've gotten some great advice on SF boards. Take it or don't.

p.s. @Liberty, in a posting two years ago she mentioned the bankruptcy, so it's been at least that long.


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## GeorgiaXplant (Dec 5, 2019)

Catlady said:


> You're always complaining about having money problems, yet you insist on staying and living in a very expensive state.   You don't want solutions, you just like to complain.  You can probably find cheaper lifestyles in states just across the border.  If you just want to stay in CA because you want to live near family, ask them to take you in and live with them even if you have to pay rent to them.   If you don't want advice, don't ask for advice and do things YOUR way or pray till kingdom come if you think prayers REALLY work.


Yanno what? Sometimes we put words down so that we can see what we're thinking. Sometimes a solution presents itself from re-reading the words. Sometimes we complain because we're scared or confused or at our wits' end and can't see any further ahead than the ends of our own noses. 

Pick up and move? Have you ever tried to just pick up and move without the financial wherewithal to do it? There comes a time when "just" getting a job isn't possible any longer so the ability to generate income is nil.

Sometimes somebody else has a bright idea that we hadn't thought of. Patnono, sometimes there are advocates in social services or senior citizens' agencies who know ways to bypass the system in cases where there's a right-now need. It doesn't cost anything to ask.

We have other posters who ask for advice, but don't/won't take it. It's not because they don't want to; it's because they're stuck. Stuck emotionally. Stuck financially. Stuck physically. Stuck because they're frustrated and scared. Stuck for whatever reason. Stuck. By the time we get to be "senior" seniors, the fear of the unknown is debilitating...paralyzing.

Walk a mile in their shoes. Then criticize.


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## Pepper (Dec 5, 2019)

Very cool post, Georgia.


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## GeorgiaXplant (Dec 5, 2019)

We have a couple of other posters who do the same thing...ask for advice but don't take it. They're very well aware that they have to do _something_ but are so stuck that they simply can't. How do I know this? Because I once got so frustrated with a member's pleas, that I called her out on it and have been ashamed of myself ever since. The desire to make a change, an improvement, a move, a decision, is far different from the ability to "just do it" (with apologies to Nike!). 

Maybe we should all be a little more empathetic, a little more compassionate, a little more patient. We don't know when we're going to need the same favors.


----------



## treeguy64 (Dec 5, 2019)

Patnono said:


> You sound like your having a BAD day???  Why is me asking a question bothering you?  That's what people do?  Why Not skip something if you don't like what your seeing?  You've Never asked a question if anyone?  Try and have a better day by being NICE to others you'll feel better.  Take care


Forget it? You obviously don't understand the point I'm making?


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## Gary O' (Dec 5, 2019)

Liberty said:


> How long ago did you declare bankruptcy?


Yeah, that *IS* thee question


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## StarSong (Dec 6, 2019)

@GeorgiaXplant, I get where you're going with this and completely agree that I tend to not show a lot of empathy or patience when it comes to people's long-term "stuckness" - including my own. 

As it happens, I'm not much a "there-there" kind of person. I'm more a "since you've described a problem for which you're requesting assistance, this is where you might want to invest some effort and due diligence to solve your situation so you can move on from it."

We all have our own ways of looking at life and addressing our issues. Our styles run the gamut on this forum.

On my bulletin board is an an edited portion of the Bene Gesserit litany from Frank Herbert's _Dune_:
"I must not fear. 
Fear is the mind-killer. 
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. 
I will face my fear. 
I will permit it to pass over me and through me. 
And when it has gone past, where the fear has gone there will be nothing. 
Only I will remain." 

It helps me remember that I am bigger than my fears. Surrendering to them paralyzes me, preventing me from constructive action.


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## oldman (Dec 6, 2019)

Or, as we would say in the Marines: When you are facing a difficult situation, you have to "improvise, adapt and overcome." Normally, that philosophy is used during combat, but I have learned that it can also be used at times in life situations.


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## Knight (Dec 6, 2019)

It's quite possible patnono posting about her problems as less than idealistic over the past two years isn't really looking for advice. One could even imagine her posts as trolling. 

I tend to think she is lonely, vulnerable & using this forum as a way to communicate that feeling. In this particular post of hers I have no words of advice. But if I did I would post as others have done. 

I think we all know that cyber bullying exists but then there are those that try to help. I think that could be classified as anti bullying. 

IMO georgiaxplant posted the most reasonable, logical description of why some just don't get to live their best life.


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## Liberty (Dec 6, 2019)

oldman said:


> Or, as we would say in the Marines: When you are facing a difficult situation, you have to "improvise, adapt and overcome." Normally, that philosophy is used during combat, but I have learned that it can also be used at times in life situations.


Yep, necessity is definitely the mother of invention!


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## Keesha (Dec 6, 2019)

I


StarSong said:


> @GeorgiaXplant, I get where you're going with this and completely agree that I tend to not show a lot of empathy or patience when it comes to people's long-term "stuckness" - including my own.
> 
> As it happens, I'm not much a "there-there" kind of person. I'm more a "since you've described a problem for which you're requesting assistance, this is where you might want to invest some effort and due diligence to solve your situation so you can move on from it."
> 
> ...


This is GREAT! That’s for the reminder.


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## Liberty (Dec 6, 2019)

There's an old mountain saying "you can sit on that cross 'an cry  for just so long...sooner or later you gotta get up an get  movin', cause somebody needs the wood."


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## Catlady (Dec 6, 2019)

Knight said:


> I think we all know that cyber bullying exists but then there are those that try to help. I think that could be classified as anti bullying.



Many people have told me that I am ''harsh'', and I fully agree.  But like @StarSong said, "I'm not much of a "there-there" kind of person".  I can be very empathetic, and I can usually see both sides of the problem.  But after seeing that the person does nothing to improve their problem and keeps making the same mistakes over and over, I just lose my patience.  You can be too close to your problem and are unable to see the possible solutions, but when many kind and helpful people on this forum try to help and you continue to ignore their advice, that is unacceptable.  And I don't care how ''stuck'' you are, I'll let others be the ''there-there'' type of listeners that continue to offer platitudes and enable your self destructing lifestyle.   When Patnono's ''savings'' run out, guess who will be supporting her, you and I the middle-class taxpayers.


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## Marie5656 (Dec 6, 2019)

*My Social Work background gives me a sense of empathy, as is my nature. BUT, there have been times in recent years where I have had to turn to real life problems, those of others and my own and say "Suck it up Buttercup" and work on fixing the problem.
This past year has been Hell for me, and yes, I have wanted to whine and complain . But I was given a wake up call and told that I would not be helped unless I made a move to help myself.
Have I had issues over the past few months?  Absolutely.  Have I worked to solve them all....well, I tried. But I just am not sitting back and say that 2020 can only get better.  Right?  But only if I work to make it better.*


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## Catlady (Dec 6, 2019)

@Marie5656 -  You have done very well.  Some recent widows take to their bed and expect others to hold their hand forever and listen to their grieving for ages.  You grieved for Rick long enough, and then dusted yourself off and worked into adapting to your new single lifestyle and are even looking forward to doing some traveling.  That is exactly what life is about, to quote @oldman , * "When you are facing a difficult situation, you have to "improvise, adapt and overcome."* And you, Marie, are a living example of that attitude and philosophy!


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## Marie5656 (Dec 6, 2019)

*@Catlady  Thanks for the words.  I will publicly admit that Thanksgiving did not go well.  I had guests for dinner, and there was a lighter moment when I sat down with the bird, carving knife and fork in hand and said "I have not had to do this in 20 years. Hope I can get this done." LOL.  I guess I did OK.*


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## Gary O' (Dec 6, 2019)

GeorgiaXplant said:


> We have a couple of other posters who do the same thing...ask for advice but don't take it. *They're very well aware that they have to do something but are so stuck that they simply can't.*


Well, after a couple years of my *'WTF??' *questioning, she did manage to find the wherewithal to put me on ignore
So, she* can *do some things 

Nutshell; 

Some folks get on with it
.....some get off on it

I believe she is of the latter


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## gennie (Dec 6, 2019)

GeorgiaXplant said:


> Yanno what? Sometimes we put words down so that we can see what we're thinking. Sometimes a solution presents itself from re-reading the words. Sometimes we complain because we're scared or confused or at our wits' end and can't see any further ahead than the ends of our own noses.
> 
> Pick up and move? Have you ever tried to just pick up and move without the financial wherewithal to do it? There comes a time when "just" getting a job isn't possible any longer so the ability to generate income is nil.
> 
> ...


How do you know I've never been in their shoes and walked my way out of them.  People who chose to be victims will always be one.


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## Catlady (Dec 6, 2019)

Gary O' said:


> Well, after a couple years of my *'WTF??' *questioning, she did manage to find the wherewithal to put me on ignore
> So, she* can *do some things
> 
> Nutshell;
> ...


How did you know she put you on ignore?  I BET I'm on ignore, too.  Going off to look.


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## gennie (Dec 6, 2019)

Catlady said:


> How did you know she put you on ignore?  I BET I'm on ignore, too.  Going off to look.


I doubt many are on ignore.  People who like to play the "Poor Pitiful Pearl Card" need as big an audience as possible.


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## hollydolly (Dec 6, 2019)

Liberty said:


> There's an old mountain saying "you can sit on that cross 'an cry  for just so long...sooner or later you gotta get up an get  movin', cause somebody needs the wood."


  Never heard that before..I'm gonna adopt that, so true....


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## hollydolly (Dec 6, 2019)

Catlady said:


> How did you know she put you on ignore?  I BET I'm on ignore, too.  Going off to look.


 you can't know if she has you on ignore unless she tells you...


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## Gary O' (Dec 6, 2019)

Catlady said:


> How did you know she put you on ignore?


I don't, but, after several non-replies to direct questions, one surmises


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## hollydolly (Dec 6, 2019)

Marie5656 said:


> *My Social Work background gives me a sense of empathy, as is my nature. BUT, there have been times in recent years where I have had to turn to real life problems, those of others and my own and say "Suck it up Buttercup" and work on fixing the problem.
> This past year has been Hell for me, and yes, I have wanted to whine and complain . But I was given a wake up call and told that I would not be helped unless I made a move to help myself.
> Have I had issues over the past few months?  Absolutely.  Have I worked to solve them all....well, I tried. But I just am not sitting back and say that 2020 can only get better.  Right?  But only if I work to make it better.*


 Many times since April, I've been in awe at how you've coped marie.. I'm a mentally  strong person myself, life turned me that way.. but  you're an inspiration ☺


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## Gary O' (Dec 6, 2019)

gennie said:


> I doubt many are on ignore. People who like to play the "Poor Pitiful Pearl Card" need as big an audience as possible.


Oh, I'm bettin' she didn't want me in the audience


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## Catlady (Dec 6, 2019)

Gary O' said:


> I don't, but, after several non-replies to direct questions, one surmises


Well, she hasn't replied to the question about when she filed for bankruptcy asked by MANY posters.  And she would not reply to me about her daughter living in El Paso.  I remember her saying she tried to discourage her from moving and said she would not be able to afford to visit them.


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## RadishRose (Dec 6, 2019)

Gary O' said:


> I don't, but, after several non-replies to direct questions, one surmises


In other words, she still  ignored you


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## Gary O' (Dec 6, 2019)

Catlady said:


> Well, she hasn't replied to the question about when she filed for bankruptcy asked by MANY posters


Yeah, got cornered
Disappeared entirely

Give it time 

She'll be back

With a new thread


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## Liberty (Dec 6, 2019)

Gary O' said:


> Well, after a couple years of my *'WTF??' *questioning, she did manage to find the wherewithal to put me on ignore
> So, she* can *do some things
> 
> Nutshell;
> ...


Yep, grief is also something you don't "handle"...it comes in waves, and learning how to let those wave wash over you and keep on keeping on is what its about.


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## Keesha (Dec 6, 2019)

gennie said:


> People who chose to be victims will always be one.


Wow! I completely agree that as members we don’t want to support negative behaviour. It turns us into enablers which serves nothing however to mock & shame this woman by calling her troll and that she’s a victim and won’t ever change is so unbelievably unfair.

Deteriorating health includes the psyche , mental health as well as physical. We don’t know the details of this but I don’t think these last few dozen posts are helpful. We don’t know why she does this repetitive behaviour but please stop labelling this women negatively.


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## Keesha (Dec 6, 2019)

I’d imagine she wants attention just like the rest of us but isn’t quite as good as you all.


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## Marie5656 (Dec 6, 2019)

*@hollydolly  Thanks for the kind words.  My real life friends and family, as well as my SF friends have been a great support for me.  There is definitely strength in numbers.  *


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## Catlady (Dec 6, 2019)

https://www.seniorforums.com/threads/senior-housing-credit-problem.34402/
Those that defend Patnono, please read the above thread.  There are several posters in it that are totally confused and desperate for a straight answer from her and never got it.  Happy reading!


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## Aunt Bea (Dec 6, 2019)

Keesha said:


> Wow! I completely agree that as members we don’t want to support negative behaviour. It turns us into enablers which serves nothing however to mock & shame this woman by calling her troll and that she’s a victim and won’t ever change is so unbelievably unfair.
> 
> Deteriorating health includes the psyche , mental health as well as physical. We don’t know the details of this but I don’t think these last few dozen posts are helpful. We don’t know why she does this repetitive behaviour but please stop labelling this women negatively.


I agree.

I participated in and became frustrated by several of Patnono's threads until I finally realized _it's not my circus, not my monkeys._

Sometimes the kindest thing we can do is move on to the next thread and leave the OP in peace.


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## Catlady (Dec 6, 2019)

Aunt Bea said:


> I agree.  * I participated in and became frustrated by several of Patnono's threads until I finally realized *_*it's not my circus, not my monkeys. * _Sometimes the kindest thing we can do is move on to the next thread and leave the OP in peace.



I wish I were as wise as you, Bea.  I seem to have a tendency to want to beat dead horses ( but they don't suffer pain, I would never beat live horses, LOL).


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## GeorgiaXplant (Dec 6, 2019)

Aunt Bea said:


> Sometimes the kindest thing we can do is move on to the next thread and leave the OP in peace.


Exactly. If you haven't anything pleasant or encouraging to say, do as your mothers taught you: say nothing. Speculate from now till the cows comes home; maybe OP _is _a troll. More likely she's elderly, broke, and scared. Not all of us are blessed with plenty of financial resources, nearby family, or family in a position to help. Some of us are just one financial disaster away from living in the streets. Y'all don't make it any easier on her and should be ashamed of yourselves for piling on.


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## GeorgiaXplant (Dec 6, 2019)

This has really been working on me. Some of the posters are downright mean. Cruel. Not to mention smug, self-satisfied, and self-righteous. How nice for you that you have no worries, no health problems, are financially independent, families that you can count on and who live nearby, and mobile. Yanno what? It _can_ happen to you.

You believe that Patnono is a troll? Maybe so. I would rather err on the side of compassion than condemn because it can't be true. That kind of stuff doesn't happen to people like _us_. Right?


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## C'est Moi (Dec 6, 2019)

GeorgiaXplant said:


> This has really been working on me. Some of the posters are downright mean. Cruel. Not to mention smug, self-satisfied, and self-righteous. How nice for you that you have no worries, no health problems, are financially independent, families that you can count on and who live nearby, and mobile. Yanno what? It _can_ happen to you.
> 
> You believe that Patnono is a troll? Maybe so. I would rather err on the side of compassion than condemn because it can't be true. That kind of stuff doesn't happen to people like _us_. Right?


Actually, it doesn't happen to many of us, because we get off the pity bus at the next stop and take action.  
If you have read many of PatNono's threads, they have a common theme.  This has been going on for 2 years or so.  I don't think people are mean at all; just tired of repeating the same advice that gets ignored each time.  One of her first posts here was about wanting to move out of the same place she's still in... two years later.  

She also has posted that she has SS benefits and a pension/IRA so I don't believe she is destitute... but who knows.  Personally, I don't think she actually wants any advice; she just likes to complain.


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## Gary O' (Dec 6, 2019)

GeorgiaXplant said:


> If you haven't anything pleasant or encouraging to say, do as your mothers taught you: say nothing. Speculate from now till the cows comes home; maybe OP _is _a troll. More likely she's elderly, broke, and scared. Not all of us are blessed with plenty of financial resources, nearby family, or family in a position to help. Some of us are just one financial disaster away from living in the streets. Y'all don't make it any easier on her and should be ashamed of yourselves for piling on.


Georgia, I personally applaud yer thought pattern.
And I think yer pretty right on.
I'll do my best to ignore Patnono from here on.

Hell, I had to deal the nono types for decades in the work place
They'd come into my office, shut the door, and moan about alllllll their ills and maladies.
Mostly about how their fellow workers treated them.
It was all I could do to control my urges (reach across the desk and strangle the living shit outa them)
There's plenty of nonos on this planet
and SF has a few
Gratifying as it is, I'll take yer advice, and refrain

As far as walking in someone else's shoes, we've all got them shoes.
Some, however, prefer to just sit while wearing 'em.
...and show them off.


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## Catlady (Dec 6, 2019)

GeorgiaXplant said:


> This has really been working on me. Some of the posters are downright mean. Cruel. Not to mention smug, self-satisfied, and self-righteous. How nice for you that you have no worries, no health problems, are financially independent, families that you can count on and who live nearby, and mobile. Yanno what? It _can_ happen to you.
> 
> You believe that Patnono is a troll? Maybe so. I would rather err on the side of compassion than condemn because it can't be true. That kind of stuff doesn't happen to people like _us_. Right?



If you feel THAT strongly about all this, put your money where your mouth is.  Ask the ''will-be-homeless'' person to move in with you, then you can solve her problem and she can solve yours.  She's almost homeless and you feel lonely and isolated from your family across the hall.  Problems solved!


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## GeorgiaXplant (Dec 6, 2019)

Catlady said:


> If you feel THAT strongly about all this, put your money where your mouth is.  Ask the ''will-be-homeless'' person to move in with you, then you can solve her problem and she can solve yours.  She's almost homeless and you feel lonely and isolated from your family across the hall.  Problems solved!


My point is the cruelty displayed by so many. There is simply no need.


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## Catlady (Dec 6, 2019)

GeorgiaXplant said:


> My point is the cruelty displayed by so many. There is simply no need.


Then do the "Christian thing'' and give her a home, I'm betting you will be throwing her out in less than 3 months tops.


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## GeorgiaXplant (Dec 6, 2019)

You are a bully.


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## Pepper (Dec 6, 2019)

Catlady said:


> If you feel THAT strongly about all this, put your money where your mouth is.  Ask the ''will-be-homeless'' person to move in with you, then you can solve her problem and she can solve yours.  She's almost homeless and you feel lonely and isolated from your family across the hall.  Problems solved!


How absurd and totally defensive, meaning Georgia has a different outlook from you so you rush to the jugular.  It's beneath you.  

Another poster, whose name I will not mention, has said in a brief moment of honesty in the recent past that s(he) is never empathetic as s(he) has no real problems and can't relate to those who do. Just wait, poster, life has a way of catching up.  Maybe you'll be charmed to the end, I don't know.

There's no logical reason to call the OP names.  Leave her be before you do.  It's better for everyone.


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## Pepper (Dec 6, 2019)

((Catlady))


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## Catlady (Dec 6, 2019)

Pepper said:


> ((Catlady))


That looks like Juda's kiss (you).  I'm tired of religious people not ''walking the talk'' (Georgia).   Give a home to the homeless !!!!!


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## Pepper (Dec 6, 2019)




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## Catlady (Dec 6, 2019)

I'm off to make MY coffee. Arrivederci, mio amori in SeniorForum.


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## hollydolly (Dec 7, 2019)

Please don't turn on each other because of a problem someone else has caused...

.. stop beating that dead horse, it ain't getting up... . frustrating as it may be when someone asks for help then refuses suggestions or downright ignores questions..it's not our party..it's theirs... if someone ask for help and they look like they're unwilling to accept the advice for whatever reason, leave..walk away, don't look back, but for goodness sake don't allow yourself to be called out on your bad behaviour towards that person, people will never forget how you treated someone who was down on their luck, and you'll lose friendship with some into the bargain. Don't allow that to happen to yourself..


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## StarSong (Dec 7, 2019)

Pepper said:


> *Another poster, whose name I will not mention, has said in a brief moment of honesty in the recent past that s(he) is never empathetic as s(he) has no real problems and can't relate to those who do. Just wait, poster, life has a way of catching up.  Maybe you'll be charmed to the end, I don't know.*



Wow!  I must have missed that quite shocking post - it's obviously not on this thread.  
Woe to the smug ones for they will one day be knocked off their self-erected pedestals. (I'm betting something like that is written in the Bible or other book of wisdom.)


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## Catlady (Dec 7, 2019)

@hollydolly -  I don't mind beating dead horses, unlike live horses they don't suffer pain.  Sorry if I offended you with my bad behavior but lots of people here agree with me and I'm betting a lot more others agree but ain't saying it.  But, I promise you not to beat anymore that dead-horse that is Patnono, I'll just ignore those pathetic threads that rear up their ugly heads every few weeks.


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## hollydolly (Dec 7, 2019)

Catlady said:


> @hollydolly -  I don't mind beating dead horses, unlike live horses they don't suffer pain.  Sorry if I offended you with my bad behavior but lots of people here agree with me and I'm betting a lot more others agree but ain't saying it.  But, I promise you not to beat anymore that dead-horse that is Patnono, I'll just ignore those pathetic threads that rear up their ugly heads every few weeks.


 you didn't offend me at all Catlady.. ☺ , and I agree with many of your points too, as I do some others, I just don't want you or anyone falling out over a member who may have little interest in taking anyone's advice, ..it's never worth losing friends over...


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## Pepper (Dec 7, 2019)

StarSong said:


> Wow!  I must have missed that quite shocking post - it's obviously not on this thread.
> *Woe to the smug ones for they will one day be knocked off their self-erected pedestals.* (I'm betting something like that is written in the Bible or other book of wisdom.)


Well, you see It Ain't Necessarily So.  It's a crapshoot.


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## Butterfly (Dec 7, 2019)

Actually, most of life is a crapshoot.


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## StarSong (Dec 8, 2019)

Pepper said:


> Well, you see It Ain't Necessarily So.  It's a crapshoot.


Maybe so, but bad karma usually does swing back at us now and then.  Some get more battered than others in this life though, I'd definitely concede that point.


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## Knight (Dec 9, 2019)

Here we are at post #137. I was thinking the best way to deal with patnono is to ignore her posts.

BUT then I thought geeze this many posts makes her posts worthwhile just for the entertainment of the various thinking that goes on.


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## RadishRose (Dec 9, 2019)

She was here Yesterday at 8:24 AM , probably laughing her head off!


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## Pepper (Dec 9, 2019)

RadishRose said:


> She was here Yesterday at 8:24 AM , probably laughing her head off!


You (we) can't know that; don't know that; have no way of knowing that.  The opposite could just as well be true.


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## Gary O' (Dec 9, 2019)

Pepper said:


> The opposite could just as well be true.


Laughing her hind end off?


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## Pepper (Dec 9, 2019)

Actually, an interesting social phenomena occurred here.  A person was tolerated for awhile with apparent resentment, then whoosh! big explosion of outrage.  Humans.  Can't live with 'em; can't live without 'em.  We're small.  Itty bitty small.  Not to mention weird and possibly a wee bit crazy.


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## Gary O' (Dec 9, 2019)

Pepper said:


> We're small. Itty bitty small. Not to mention weird and possibly a wee bit crazy


I'm good with that


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## RadishRose (Dec 9, 2019)

Pepper said:


> You (we) can't know that; don't know that; have no way of knowing that.  The opposite could just as well be true.


that's why I said "probably" instead of "certainly"


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## OneEyedDiva (Dec 10, 2019)

Catlady said:


> Well, she hasn't replied to the question about when she filed for bankruptcy asked by MANY posters.  And she would not reply to me about her daughter living in El Paso.  I remember her saying she tried to discourage her from moving and said she would not be able to afford to visit them.


From what I'm reading, seems some took issue with some of your replies (??)  I will admit I've seen your replies in other threads and thought "Wow...kind of cold hearted."  You may need empathy from this forum one day.  My mother used to say "you never know what you're coming to in this life". BUT I recognize that you are a practical, no nonsense person and I can respect that.  It's just that sometimes life is not so "pat", so cut and dry for some people.  Some have no coping skills at all.  One of the first of the posts I read by Patnono did mention [her] having a mental problem that hindered finding work awhile back...so don't know how that factors in her being able to resolve pressing problems. I do know that those with mental health issues can't be expected to function like those who don't have them.

I have a friend who never took good advice. And yes there's always "reasons" and excuses. It can be vert frustrating. She has experienced the consequences and admitted she wished she had taken my advice (a few times).  But I've never been short with her or un-empathetic.  I just tell her now that she has to make her own decisions. I don't waste my time. Someone mentioned not beating a dead horse in another reply.  My philosophy regarding the adage "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink" is it won't be my fault if the fool horse dies of dehydration.


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## Keesha (Dec 10, 2019)

Many people here ask for advice and don’t take it
Many members have mental issues 
This IS a forum made specifically for the elderly. 
Some will discuss problems
Others won’t 

Either way I don’t think calling a seasoned member , a ‘troll’ , is helpful or telling them that ‘once a victim, always a victim.’

What a load of crap that is. I’ve been a victim before . Once as a child and once while kidnapped. Neither incidences were short lived so I did develop victim mentality. Sometimes while stressed I slip back to victim mentality but I most certainly don’t have a lifestyle of acting like a helpless victim which is what some here are insinuating regarding Patnono and I don’t think that’s really fair.

Members aren’t obligated to post. We post because we want to.


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## Liberty (Dec 10, 2019)

OneEyedDiva said:


> From what I'm reading, seems some took issue with some of your replies (??)  I will admit I've seen your replies in other threads and thought "Wow...kind of cold hearted."  You may need empathy from this forum one day.  My mother used to say "you never know what you're coming to in this life". BUT I recognize that you are a practical, no nonsense person and I can respect that.  It's just that sometimes life is not so "pat", so cut and dry for some people.  Some have no coping skills at all.  One of the first of the posts I read by Patnono did mention [her] having a mental problem that hindered finding work awhile back...so don't know how that factors in her being able to resolve pressing problems. I do know that those with mental health issues can't be expected to function like those who don't have them.
> 
> I have a friend who never took good advice. And yes there's always "reasons" and excuses. It can be vert frustrating. She has experienced the consequences and admitted she wished she had taken my advice (a few times).  But I've never been short with her or un-empathetic.  I just tell her now that she has to make her own decisions. I don't waste my time. Someone mentioned not beating a dead horse in another reply.  My philosophy regarding the adage "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink" is it won't be my fault if the fool horse dies of dehydration.


I've subscribed to the adage its best to have "loving indifference" to what might be causing the person not to respond to advice.

Also great to have loving indifference to family member's personal faults (as you see them)...lol.  Best to focus on the overall good.


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