# Finding True Love in older ages



## Ruthanne

Does anyone think it's worth it?  I think I am very set in my ways and it's so hard to find someone compatible.  The last man I dated used the F word every other word and it really got on my nerves.  Seems immature to me to have to constantly use that word.  He never had any thing good to say about me yet it was easy for him to criticise everything about me.  I am just getting over the effects of what that did to my self esteem and self image.  
I have had subscriptions at various online sites for meeting someone.  I only went out with 2 guys from those sites in all these years.  That didn't work out and I am disappointed in those sites now.  

Does anyone know a good way to meet someone compatible?  I am ready to give up, I'm getting too old for this!


----------



## Kadee

I met my second hubby when I was 40 ,after being single for 12 years ,we married a year latter ,that  was 30 years ago however even way back then it was a real minefield weeding out the weirdo's ...I tried a few dating company's ( no internet dating in 1986 to my knowledge )  I eventually struck up the courage to put an add in the city newspaper ,in Adelaide ,where you  were supplied with a box number to include in your add, so any suitors could reply to the add ....The newspaper then forwarded on all the replies to me (155) some of the replies were really weird ,some contained naked photos, some of other body parts :eewwk::eewwk:
I'm from Australia ..I'm glad I'm not out there "looking" for a partner in 2016 .There has to be good geninue potential / friends partners out there it's just finding them.
I took on teaching a 53 single man how to use a computer about 12 months ago his main interest to be able to use the computer was to sign up to Internet dating sites, I watched on a he was contacted by many scammers, sure there has to be geninue people on these sites however he didn't have any luck and eventually gave up hope and refused to even try on the net again.
Im like you Ruth I hate that "f" word I have never used it in my life ,my hubby could swear as good as anyone while working but I have never heard him use a swear word


----------



## SifuPhil

Ruth - only 2 guys over several years? Forgive me for saying this, but are you sure you're not expecting too much? Are your standards that high? 

Or are there simply not that many eligible guys in Ohio? 

As Kadee said, there are good people out there - you just have to spend the time filtering out the crazies, but don't set your filters TOO high - a little crazy is sometimes a good thing!


----------



## Babsinbloom65

How do you find the right love for you? Just stop trying to find him...and let him find you.  

I never did understand why we think we have to try and find someone...unless they are lost. If destiny has another true love out there for you, y'all will meet each other when destiny decrees it. On the other hand if you were just to start living and enjoying the life you have been given right at this moment in time...you may both end up meeting each other alot sooner. I believe if there is someone out there for you just get out and about and y'all will find each other.


----------



## SifuPhil

Babsinbloom65 said:


> How do you find the right love for you? Just stop trying to find him...and let him find you ...



While this is the conventional line - almost Taoist in its wisdom - I imagine that people begin to get ... well, desperate ... and want to hurry up the process.

Totally understandable. That's how these dating services have become such monsters - they play off of basic human needs and fears.


----------



## Shalimar

Gloria Steinem got married for the first time at 76. We are not our parents or grandparents. I believe love is not about age, but about sharing.


----------



## Babsinbloom65

SifuPhil said:


> While this is the conventional line - almost Taoist in its wisdom - I imagine that people begin to get ... well, desperate ... and want to hurry up the process.
> 
> Totally understandable. That's how these dating services have become such monsters - they play off of basic human needs and fears.



Well this is such a hurry up world these days that it seems that no one likes waiting for anything to happen...they just want to make it happen and in forcing things...they often end up with the wrong choice and just have to start all over again anyway.


----------



## fureverywhere

I've never lived alone. I went from home to college to married to single mom to married. Heaven forbid I outlive hubby...but I know I could find another partner again. Love me, my dogs, cats, and books and I'm pretty easy to get along with.


----------



## Ruthanne

Kadee46 said:


> I met my second hubby when I was 40 ,after being single for 12 years ,we married a year latter ,that  was 30 years ago however even way back then it was a real minefield weeding out the weirdo's ...I tried a few dating company's ( no internet dating in 1986 to my knowledge )  I eventually struck up the courage to put an add in the city newspaper ,in Adelaide ,where you  were supplied with a box number to include in your add, so any suitors could reply to the add ....The newspaper then forwarded on all the replies to me (155) some of the replies were really weird ,some contained naked photos, some of other body parts :eewwk::eewwk:
> I'm from Australia ..I'm glad I'm not out there "looking" for a partner in 2016 .There has to be good geninue potential / friends partners out there it's just finding them.
> I took on teaching a 53 single man how to use a computer about 12 months ago his main interest to be able to use the computer was to sign up to Internet dating sites, I watched on a he was contacted by many scammers, sure there has to be geninue people on these sites however he didn't have any luck and eventually gave up hope and refused to even try on the net again.
> Im like you Ruth I hate that "f" word I have never used it in my life ,my hubby could swear as good as anyone while working but I have never heard him use a swear word



Thanks for your feedback.  I'm glad you found your husband.  Your experience with the weirdos is a lot like mine.  At this point I am tired of looking for a man.



SifuPhil said:


> Ruth - only 2 guys over several years? Forgive me for saying this, but are you sure you're not expecting too much? Are your standards that high?
> 
> Or are there simply not that many eligible guys in Ohio?
> 
> As Kadee said, there are good people out there - you just have to spend the time filtering out the crazies, but don't set your filters TOO high - a little crazy is sometimes a good thing!


One of the problems I've had is worrying some of these guys are dangerous.  A lot of them set off a red flag for me.  A lot of them were not from my area and I can't travel to meet them out in the boondocks.  My car is very old and I don't trust it to go out of the city much.  Many of them also come on real strong suggesting sex right away.  Then some of them have just plain been undesirable.  I have my standards and I don't feel they are too high.  



Babsinbloom65 said:


> How do you find the right love for you? Just stop trying to find him...and let him find you.
> 
> I never did understand why we think we have to try and find someone...unless they are lost. If destiny has another true love out there for you, y'all will meet each other when destiny decrees it. On the other hand if you were just to start living and enjoying the life you have been given right at this moment in time...you may both end up meeting each other alot sooner. I believe if there is someone out there for you just get out and about and y'all will find each other.


Well, actually I don't get out a lot or enough.  I do go for walks with my dog, though, and meet some nice people that way.



SifuPhil said:


> While this is the conventional line - almost Taoist in its wisdom - I imagine that people begin to get ... well, desperate ... and want to hurry up the process.
> 
> Totally understandable. That's how these dating services have become such monsters - they play off of basic human needs and fears.


Yes, that's the problem that a lot of guys want to hurry the process and if you are not perfect to them they just go on to the next one.  I don't think the dating sites are a good idea any more.  I used to go out to singles dances but have not in a long time.  I may try that again one day.



Shalimar said:


> Gloria Steinem got married for the first time at 76. We are not our parents or grandparents. I believe love is not about age, but about sharing.


Thanks for that!


Babsinbloom65 said:


> Well this is such a hurry up world these days that it seems that no one likes waiting for anything to happen...they just want to make it happen and in forcing things...they often end up with the wrong choice and just have to start all over again anyway.


That is a big part of the problem!



fureverywhere said:


> I've never lived alone. I went from home to college to married to single mom to married. Heaven forbid I outlive hubby...but I know I could find another partner again. Love me, my dogs, cats, and books and I'm pretty easy to get along with.


I'm pretty easy to get along with.  I have a dog and 2 parakeets and it is important a man love them.  The last guy I was with was nasty to one of my birds and that is one of the reasons we are not seeing each other any more.

I know I said that I only dated 2 guys from the dating sites over some years but I have also dated some who are not from the dating site.  It seems the guys on the dating sites are pushy and seem to want one thing!


----------



## SifuPhil

RuthJD said:


> One of the problems I've had is worrying some of these guys are dangerous.  A lot of them set off a red flag for me.  A lot of them were not from my area and I can't travel to meet them out in the boondocks.  My car is very old and I don't trust it to go out of the city much.  Many of them also come on real strong suggesting sex right away.  Then some of them have just plain been undesirable.  I have my standards and I don't feel they are too high.



Understood.

Not having had any "dates" nor even relationships for many years (hence my self-proclaimed "monkhood ) I'm out of the loop. Plus, I'm a guy, so I have a bit of difficulty empathizing with the feminine point of view - it must be scary these days on those sites. 



> Yes, that's the problem that a lot of guys want to hurry the process and if you are not perfect to them they just go on to the next one.  I don't think the dating sites are a good idea any more.  I used to go out to singles dances but have not in a long time.  I may try that again one day.



Probably a good idea - the in-person approach has worked for centuries, and you can get a better idea of someone up close and personal. 



> I'm pretty easy to get along with.  I have a dog and 2 parakeets and it is important a man love them.  The last guy I was with was nasty to one of my birds and that is one of the reasons we are not seeing each other any more.



I've never trusted anyone who is cruel to animals of any kind. 



> I know I said that I only dated 2 guys from the dating sites over some years but I have also dated some who are not from the dating site.  It seems the guys on the dating sites are pushy and seem to want one thing!



Hmph ... they should do a study on those guys, but then they would probably never admit to their true motivations.


----------



## fureverywhere

For me books are my great passion. If I wanted to meet a gentleman of a certain age, I would frequent the coffee area in the local Barnes and Noble. After a while you know the frequent flyers who are just there to type the next great novel. But perhaps someone who just shows up weekly to read. Especially if they shop like me, browse twenty and buy three. Chat them up about books...Key questions Are you unattached? Do you like companion creatures? How about meeting me here next week sailor?


----------



## SifuPhil

fureverywhere said:


> For me books are my great passion. If I wanted to meet a gentleman of a certain age, I would frequent the coffee area in the local Barnes and Noble. *After a while you know the frequent flyers who are just there to type the next great novel*. But perhaps someone who just shows up weekly to read. Especially if they shop like me, browse twenty and buy three. Chat them up about books...Key questions Are you unattached? Do you like companion creatures? How about meeting me here next week sailor?



Ah, yes, but we are soulful creatures who are quite loving and kind and passionate and WILL DESTROY ALL THE NON-BELIVERS WHEN MY NOVEL IS FINALLY PUBLISHED !!!

... ahem ...


----------



## fureverywhere

See that would work for me too...you type your epic novel and I have a dog head and several cats trying to get in my lap...and the pile of books beside me...doesn't get better than that


----------



## SifuPhil

fureverywhere said:


> See that would work for me too...you type your epic novel and I have a dog head and several cats trying to get in my lap...and the pile of books beside me...doesn't get better than that




Cats, canines and coffee-table books - yep, works for me too.

Now if only I can get rid of this flea infestation in my ponytail ... *itch, itch, itch*


----------



## Shalimar

Ewwwwwwwww.


----------



## fureverywhere

Advantix, nape of your neck once a month and no worries


----------



## SifuPhil

Shalimar said:


> Ewwwwwwwww.



But I've trained them! They ride on the little Ferris Wheel, roll the little ball with their front legs ... I'm going to tour as Philly's Phlea Phenomenon! 



fureverywhere said:


> Advantix, nape of your neck once a month and no worries



I don't have to wear a collar? I really LIKE wearing a collar!

And scratching my neck with my leg - is that kosher?


----------



## Shalimar

Sigh, just can't take you anywhere Philly.


----------



## SifuPhil

Shalimar said:


> Sigh, just can't take you anywhere Philly.



Yeah, but I clean up real good ...


----------



## Shalimar

Pics?


----------



## SifuPhil

Shalimar said:


> Pics?


----------



## Shalimar

Why is your tie so long?


----------



## SifuPhil

Shalimar said:


> Why is your tie so long?



I have a short chest ...


----------



## fureverywhere

Oh HELL no, spiked dog collar...


----------



## SifuPhil

fureverywhere said:


> Oh HELL no, spiked dog collar...




You're just saying that to make me feel good ...


----------



## fureverywhere

You bettah believe it...


----------



## jujube

You can find love again.  It ain't easy and it frequently ain't pretty and quite often you'll want to give up, but YOU.CAN.DO it.  Just be prepared to kiss a lot of frogs.  You might want to put a little Chapstick on first, though.


----------



## SifuPhil

fureverywhere said:


> You bettah believe it...


----------



## Shalimar

Somehow, I don't think this is quite what Jujube had in mind?


----------



## SifuPhil

Shalimar said:


> Somehow, I don't think this is quite what Jujube had in mind?



What, the furry feet? I can dip them in Nair.

The ears ... I know. Women are usually turned off by the ears, so I usually pin them back.


----------



## fureverywhere

of Ooooh babbee yeah I am so ready...fur and all of course...


----------



## SifuPhil

fureverywhere said:


> of Ooooh babbee yeah I am so ready...fur and all of course...



I'm glad there are SOME ladies who appreciate what I have to offer.

*hmph*


----------



## Shalimar

Not for all the chocolate in the world. Mermen yes, dogs no.


----------



## Kadee

SifuPhil said:


> Cats, canines and coffee-table books - yep, works for me too.
> 
> Now if only I can get rid of this flea infestation in my ponytail ... *itch, itch, itch*


:rofl: Philly you never cease to amuse me ,now I need to go change my knickers.:laugh::laugh:


----------



## Ruthanne

SifuPhil said:


> Understood.
> 
> Not having had any "dates" nor even relationships for many years (hence my self-proclaimed "monkhood ) I'm out of the loop. Plus, I'm a guy, so I have a bit of difficulty empathizing with the feminine point of view - it must be scary these days on those sites.
> 
> 
> 
> Probably a good idea - the in-person approach has worked for centuries, and you can get a better idea of someone up close and personal.
> 
> 
> 
> I've never trusted anyone who is cruel to animals of any kind.
> 
> 
> 
> Hmph ... they should do a study on those guys, but then they would probably never admit to their true motivations.



I think I am going to stop with the dating site.  I think the worst guys are there.  It is better to meet in person with someone.


----------



## Ruthanne

fureverywhere said:


> For me books are my great passion. If I wanted to meet a gentleman of a certain age, I would frequent the coffee area in the local Barnes and Noble. After a while you know the frequent flyers who are just there to type the next great novel. But perhaps someone who just shows up weekly to read. Especially if they shop like me, browse twenty and buy three. Chat them up about books...Key questions Are you unattached? Do you like companion creatures? How about meeting me here next week sailor?


  I don't know where a Barnes and Noble is in this area.  We do have some coffee shops, though and they used to have poetry reading and it made for a good place to meet someone but now..The coffee shops are like fast food places where people have their coffee and leave or are with a bunch of people.  I'm not bold enough to go up to some of these guys.  I guess my self esteem is still suffering.



SifuPhil said:


> Ah, yes, but we are soulful creatures who are quite loving and kind and passionate and WILL DESTROY ALL THE NON-BELIVERS WHEN MY NOVEL IS FINALLY PUBLISHED !!!
> 
> ... ahem ...





SifuPhil said:


> Cats, canines and coffee-table books - yep, works for me too.
> 
> Now if only I can get rid of this flea infestation in my ponytail ... *itch, itch, itch*


----------



## Ruthanne

jujube said:


> You can find love again.  It ain't easy and it frequently ain't pretty and quite often you'll want to give up, but YOU.CAN.DO it.  Just be prepared to kiss a lot of frogs.  You might want to put a little Chapstick on first, though.


I'm getting sick of looking for a guy, really sick of it.  My step sister has sworn off men and I am thinking of doing the same thing.  I have kissed many frogs and they stayed frogs and I guess I'm just tired of it all.  I am getting too old for this.


----------



## Karen99

RuthJD said:


> I'm getting sick of looking for a guy, really sick of it.  My step sister has sworn off men and I am thinking of doing the same thing.  I have kissed many frogs and they stayed frogs and I guess I'm just tired of it all.  I am getting too old for this.



well you don't have to swear off men.  There are nice guys out there.  I wouldn't do any dating websites if I was single.  I'd join an in person singles group for older people.  I will say I personally know people who met and married from online so who knows..lol


----------



## Ruthanne

Karen99 said:


> well you don't have to swear off men.  There are nice guys out there.  I wouldn't do any dating websites if I was single.  I'd join an in person singles group for older people.  I will say I personally know people who met and married from online so who knows..lol


The dating sites really haven't worked for me.  That's a good idea for an in person singles group.  There used to be one in my area some years back.  They used to advertise in the local paper.  I will have to get a local paper and see if they still exist.  Thanks for your feedback.


----------



## FazeFour

I tried dating sites...two of them. I met three men who were interested in marriage for the purpose of obtaining citizenship! THREE!! I met one real gentleman among the six that I dated, but he moved far away for his job. I am no longer interested in a relationship. I'm thoroughly enjoying my independence - completely single for five years now.


----------



## SifuPhil

Shalimar said:


> Not for all the chocolate in the world. Mermen yes, dogs no.


----------



## chic

Ruth do you have any interests that could lead to a relationship? Joining a group is a safe way to meet men of all ages or taking a class that interests you. You could attend a lecture or a walking tour at a local museum if that appeals. Join a gym or take a yoga class. Having something in common with a man while surrounded by other people in some sort of a group is both safe and usually successful and can lead to some wonderful discoveries. 

Age can be a problem for us senior ladies because so many of the eligible men are already married. I'd still recommend a group though as oppposed to a dating site.


----------



## Ameriscot

I was in the US but looking for someone in the UK or Ireland, so a singles group wouldn't have worked.  I actually placed an online ad in the Ireland section of a dating site.  I wasn't really 'older' then, just 48. Worked for me but it was pure luck that I met my hubby.  16th anniversary in April.


----------



## Ameriscot

SifuPhil said:


> View attachment 26807



Hot stuff, Philly babe!


----------



## Shalimar

Wow Philly, that's more like it!


----------



## SifuPhil

Yeah, but I didn't shave my pits and I've got that algae condition on my legs ...


----------



## Shalimar

Sigh, aspergillis is normal for Merfolk. It helps us breathe under water, a natural filtration system. Why would you shave under your arms?


----------



## Shalimar

Should read external aspergillis.


----------



## SifuPhil

Shalimar said:


> Sigh, aspergillis is normal for Merfolk. It helps us breathe under water, a natural filtration system. Why would you shave under your arms?



Geeze, I had to look that one up - score one for you! 

Re: shaving - to make me more aerodynamic, of course!


----------



## Ruthanne

chic said:


> Ruth do you have any interests that could lead to a relationship? Joining a group is a safe way to meet men of all ages or taking a class that interests you. You could attend a lecture or a walking tour at a local museum if that appeals. Join a gym or take a yoga class. Having something in common with a man while surrounded by other people in some sort of a group is both safe and usually successful and can lead to some wonderful discoveries.
> 
> Age can be a problem for us senior ladies because so many of the eligible men are already married. I'd still recommend a group though as oppposed to a dating site.


I want to get back into drawing and may take an art class in the Spring or Summer.  I have another barrier, too, I am overweight and not all men like that.  



Ameriscot said:


> I was in the US but looking for someone in the UK or Ireland, so a singles group wouldn't have worked.  I actually placed an online ad in the Ireland section of a dating site.  I wasn't really 'older' then, just 48. Worked for me but it was pure luck that I met my hubby.  16th anniversary in April.


That's great you met your true love Annie!


----------



## chic

RuthJD said:


> I want to get back into drawing and may take an art class in the Spring or Summer. I have another barrier, too, I am overweight and not all men like that.
> 
> That's great you met your true love Annie!



Good luck with your art class. That sounds like a really intelligent way to meet someone with similar interests to yours.  I hope you do.


----------



## Aurora

As Patti Davis, daughter of Ronald Reagan, said in her book about her father, you don't find love, love finds you. I have found that true.


----------



## GeorgiaXplant

Way back in the way back in the days before I married my husband, there would be spells of months (sometimes many months) when there was nobody in sight. Somehow someone would appear when I least expected it. And when some_one_ appeared, others magically appeared as well!

There's one thing I know for sure. If you feel desperate, you'll look desperate and give off vibes of desperation like an invisible shield. When you have things to do, friends, a life that doesn't include a Personal Person, those vibes of desperation aren't there and the invisible shield isn't either. That's when others are drawn to you.


----------



## Ruthanne

chic said:


> Good luck with your art class. That sounds like a really intelligent way to meet someone with similar interests to yours.  I hope you do.


Thanks!  



Aurora said:


> As Patti Davis, daughter of Ronald Reagan, said in her book about her father, you don't find love, love finds you. I have found that true.


Well, that sounds good...



GeorgiaXplant said:


> Way back in the way back in the days before I married my husband, there would be spells of months (sometimes many months) when there was nobody in sight. Somehow someone would appear when I least expected it. And when some_one_ appeared, others magically appeared as well!
> 
> There's one thing I know for sure. If you feel desperate, you'll look desperate and give off vibes of desperation like an invisible shield. When you have things to do, friends, a life that doesn't include a Personal Person, those vibes of desperation aren't there and the invisible shield isn't either. That's when others are drawn to you.


I am not the least bit desperate in fact I do all I can to be myself totally and don't really even want to look for a man.  Just seems like I might be better off with a man who can give me moral support and some fun times.


----------



## Linda

I guess this is an old thread.  I don't have anything to add really but last night when I was talking to my husband on the phone he sounded very lonely and said "I want my wife back".  My daughter's shoulder is getting better so I'm going home tomorrow.  Anyway, my point is, if something should happen to me, I fear how desperate my husband would be.  He doesn't really enjoy just hanging out with the dogs and my brother.  He also sounded so surprised that he had just done the dishes yesterday and now there were a bunch of dirty ones again!   I think I would do better being alone than he would.  I THINK, and I'm not sure about this, but I would probably just try to coast along and make the best of my life and if my intuition told me the right guy found me, then I might consider a relationship.  I do think there are a lot of buttheads (I deleted the word I really wanted to use) out there.  Some really creepy guys just looking for sex or a housekeeper or someone who babysit their grandkids.


----------



## Ruthanne

FazeFour said:


> I tried dating sites...two of them. I met three men who were interested in marriage for the purpose of obtaining citizenship! THREE!! I met one real gentleman among the six that I dated, but he moved far away for his job. I am no longer interested in a relationship. I'm thoroughly enjoying my independence - completely single for five years now.


To be honest I am quite happy being single, too.  I have no one to answer to or clean up after or argue with about those things.  lol


----------



## Ruthanne

Linda said:


> I guess this is an old thread.  I don't have anything to add really but last night when I was talking to my husband on the phone he sounded very lonely and said "I want my wife back".  My daughter's shoulder is getting better so I'm going home tomorrow.  Anyway, my point is, if something should happen to me, I fear how desperate my husband would be.  He doesn't really enjoy just hanging out with the dogs and my brother.  He also sounded so surprised that he had just done the dishes yesterday and now there were a bunch of dirty ones again!   I think I would do better being alone than he would.  I THINK, and I'm not sure about this, but I would probably just try to coast along and make the best of my life and if my intuition told me the right guy found me, then I might consider a relationship.  I do think there are a lot of buttheads (I deleted the word I really wanted to use) out there.  Some really creepy guys just looking for sex or a housekeeper or someone who babysit their grandkids.


I have run across the buttheads who are just looking for someone to jump in the sack with them and they tell you how horny they are.  To me, that is a turn off.  Those guys sound desperate.  You are right that there are a lot of creepy guys out there.  The last guy I became friends with was a moron who was so judgemental it made me ill.


----------



## ladyp

After 43 years once was enough. I loved him then and love him still but would not do it again.


----------



## Shalimar

All I can say is online works for me, and I wasn't even looking. Of course I am still waiting to see if Philly is a secret cross dresser with a shoe fetish--at least my clothes are far too small for him. Lol.


----------



## SifuPhil




----------



## Shalimar

Darn, Philly, I thought I had hidden that outfit. Don't stretch the boots!


----------



## SifuPhil

Shalimar said:


> Darn, Philly, I thought I had hidden that outfit. Don't stretch the boots!



You DID hide it - I'm just very good at playing Hide and Seek!


----------



## Shalimar

Sigh, I knew it was too good to be true.


----------



## SifuPhil

*Breaks out into Broadway show tunes*

"_Life is a cabaret, ol' chum_ ... "

"_If I were a rich man, da-da-da-da-da-da-da_ ..."

"_Tomorrow, tommorow, I love ya, tomorrow_ ..."

*does jazz hands, shuffles off stage left*


----------



## Shalimar

Guess I should check my makeup drawer.


----------



## SifuPhil

Too late!


----------



## Butterfly

ladyp said:


> After 43 years once was enough. I loved him then and love him still but would not do it again.



I wouldn't do it again, either.


----------



## Shalimar

Which one is you, Philly?


----------



## SifuPhil

The guy on the right.

I don't know who that clown on the left is - he just photobombed me.


----------



## vickyNightowl

I think love is a great thing.

Ladyp and butterfly,why not? 

Ruthanne,you are a beautiful lady,I think joining a group of some sort is an excellent idea.
Confidence is attractive.


----------



## Ameriscot

I had 2 bad 7 year marriages when I was under 40.  In a good marriage now.  Just celebrated our 16th anniversary Sunday.  But if I'm widowed I would never remarry.


----------



## ndynt

I found, after a certan age, we can be too set in our ways and having a love interest can be too confining.   Though perhaps not the right one?


----------



## Ruthanne

vickyNightowl said:


> I think love is a great thing.
> 
> Ladyp and butterfly,why not?
> 
> Ruthanne,you are a beautiful lady,I think joining a group of some sort is an excellent idea.
> Confidence is attractive.


Thank you.  I am just tired of trying relationships after many bad ones and little patience.  However I am going on a date with a man next week.  Met him on Plenty of Fish.  The site is free for dating.  The only thing I don't like about him is that he gave all his cats to the pound because he thought he could not care for them anymore.  That bothers me.  At least get them a good home.  They may have been euthanized.  He also traded a bird for something he wanted.  He does not seem to care about animals much and that bothers me.  I may just try and be dinner pals a few times a month.  He seems nice other wise.


----------



## Ruthanne

Ameriscot said:


> I had 2 bad 7 year marriages when I was under 40.  In a good marriage now.  Just celebrated our 16th anniversary Sunday.  But if I'm widowed I would never remarry.


Good for you having a good marriage now.  



ndynt said:


> I found, after a certain age, we can be too set in our ways and having a love interest can be too confining.   Though perhaps not the right one?


I agree.  I'm not into living together or getting married but having a date for dinner sometimes can be nice.:love_heart:


----------



## Wrigley's

> I'm not into living together or getting married but having a date for dinner sometimes can be nice <

That's where I'm at. I didn't date at all for nearly five years after my wife was killed. I was only 36, but we'd been married for 18 years...from age 18 to 36 is a crucial chunk of life for a man. Anyway, when I did start dating, I couldn't get serious about it. It felt weird, I found something majorly wrong with all of them, and couldn't picture myself married to any of them, or living with them.

Maybe I unconsciously sabotaged those relationships. I don't know. For the past 15 years, life has been good. There were times when I wished I was sharing it with someone, but not lately. Whether I built a wall or not, I accept my life as is, and I'm happy.


----------



## Shalimar

Wrigley, I was alone, by choice, for decades. I enjoyed the company of men, but valued my freedom far too much to live with one. I assumed it would always be that way. Boom, along came Phil, and things changed. I am still in shock. This therapissed didn't see it coming. Lol.


----------



## Wrigley's

Shalimar said:


> Wrigley, I was alone, by choice, for decades. I enjoyed the company of men, but valued my freedom far too much to live with one. I assumed it would always be that way. Boom, along came Phil, and things changed. I am still in shock. This therapissed didn't see it coming. Lol.



LOL. I will say that I'm not entirely shut down on the idea. If I met the right woman, I would know it, and I would pursue her heart.


----------



## Shalimar

Good for you, W.


----------



## SifuPhil

Shalimar said:


> Wrigley, I was alone, by choice, for decades. I enjoyed the company of men, but valued my freedom far too much to live with one. I assumed it would always be that way. Boom, along came Phil, and things changed. I am still in shock. This therapissed didn't see it coming. Lol.



NOBODY expects the Philly Inquisition ...


----------



## fureverywhere

NOBODY expects the Philly Inquisition ...  

Love ya son...I  have never lived alone. If something happened to hubby...I don't rightfully know. Special kid and adult kid plus upper denture. Just shoot me now. But really you and Shali give us all hope


----------



## SifuPhil

fureverywhere said:


> ... But really you and Shali give us all hope



Which is amazing when you consider that I've always been considered hopeless ...


----------



## Ruthanne

SifuPhil said:


> Which is amazing when you consider that I've always been considered hopeless ...


Funny!!  I didn't know this thread had gone on a bit longer.


----------



## Buckeye

Funny - the pop up ad at the end of the thread is for "FilipinoCupid dot com"..  Uh, no thanks.

Oscar Wilde said "A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her."


----------



## Shalimar

Rumi said that " lovers don't finally find each other, they are in each other all along."


----------



## Ameriscot

Hoot N Annie said:


> Funny - the pop up ad at the end of the thread is for "FilipinoCupid dot com"..  Uh, no thanks.
> 
> Oscar Wilde said "A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her."



I don't have any ads at all on here.  Not sure why.  Not that I'm complaining.


----------



## Ruthanne

Hoot N Annie said:


> Funny - the pop up ad at the end of the thread is for "FilipinoCupid dot com"..  Uh, no thanks.
> 
> Oscar Wilde said "A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her."


I don't have that ad or any other.  Wonder why you got it.


----------



## Shalimar

I did not see such an ad either.


----------



## Ruthanne

Shalimar said:


> I did not see such an ad either.


Strange, isn't it?!


----------



## Shalimar

Very strange Ruthanne.


----------



## Buckeye

Not a very clear copy but it is still there.  I guess I need to have a man-to-man talk with Hoot to see what he's doing when I'm not watching....


----------



## Buckeye

and I just checked several other threads, and I get an ad at the end of every one of them.  But they are not the same ad.  For example, at the end of the thread about HIllary's emails I get an ad to support Hillary.  At the end of one of the others it was an ad for building your own business website.  I guess I need to look at my preferences/settings.

The girl in the middle is kinda cute though....


----------



## Buckeye

Found it!  At the very bottom of the "General Settings" there is a little square to check if you want to turn off ads.  Done.


----------



## Ruthanne

Hoot N Annie said:


> View attachment 29183
> 
> Not a very clear copy but it is still there.  I guess I need to have a man-to-man talk with Hoot to see what he's doing when I'm not watching....


Maybe you could ask the forum owner about getting ads, he may know more than I do.  Maybe Hoot is hitting the dating sites.  lol


----------

