# beauty, an inside job?



## Denise1952 (Feb 18, 2014)

I think we get more beautiful with age, contrary to what some "seem" to think.   Especially when I see a lot of "posting of young girls"  with oo'ing and  awing comments.  I could say I honestly don't care, but I wouldn't be honest if I  did.  I suppose I won't make any friends on this post, but I don't see  many photos of a woman over let's say 55, posted.  I guess that's just  the way it is, so if you think a girl or guy your grand-children's age is  more beautiful to look at then someone your own age, that's of course  your priv.

Seeing the beauty in youth is something I do as well. I think everyone here is grown up enough to know the diff between that and lusting after a younger "mate".

As for me, I think you guys are way more handsome now  then when you were young, not flattery, just the way I see people, same  with the women, way, more beautiful, because beauty is an inside job, and usually with age, people get wiser (hopefully). I'll bet some of you gals will say "oh that's just men for you", and I'll want to say "yes, you're right, we just blow it off".  Others might say "well, they are thinking it, they might as well be honest and post a pic of what they dream about at night".  I don't know, I guess this is about not hurting each other's feelings, wishing the world was a little, less cruel about aging.

And just so you know for sure, what you might be thinking, this is just my, own baggage.  Most of the men I meet my age want younger women. They conclude that because of my age I am not sexy, fun, or even youthful (young at heart).  Well it's their loss, and I dodged a bullet.

Ok, let me have it, I can take a punch:beaten:

PS I've really enjoyed my time here, lots of fun, but I also like to talk about the "real" stuff on occasion, so if I don't get run out on a rail, see you all later, Denise


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## Falcon (Feb 18, 2014)

There's more to life than one's own beauty. It can't control every minute of your day.

There are too many other things to think about.


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## Denise1952 (Feb 18, 2014)

I don't think there is anything more important than being a loving, kind and caring person.  That is the inner-beauty I spoke of.  How many of us really like a person for their looks?  When I was young, I was so shallow, I never looked any deeper then what a guy looked like.  It caused a lot of heartache in my life.

I agree that dwelling on beauty is shallow, I've done it.  Not now thank goodness.  I love this quote by Meryl Streep:  "I can't remember the last time I really worried about being appealing,” 

and since I brought it up, I also love this one by Marilyn Monroe:  “I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out  of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at  my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”


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## Justme (Feb 18, 2014)

I have never been interested in looks, my own or that of others, personality is much more important. I rarely dress up, wear makeup, and never dye my hair, what you see is what you get.  I am 64 and took this photo of me a couple of minutes ago.


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## SeaBreeze (Feb 18, 2014)

I agree Denise, that beauty is an inside job.  We all change as we age, with wrinkles, etc...that's very natural and I wouldn't want to change anything with surgery, botox, etc.  I'd rather look like myself, and just an older version, than a surprised duck-billed stranger.

I've been happily married to the same man for nearly forty years, so I don't have much experience with dates, but I do know my mind on situations like these.  If a man of my age may be interested in dating me, and he's changed his mind just because someone of a younger age/looks came along, then you know what, he's too shallow for my liking anyway.  When I look at people our age, I often see them as they were in their 20s and 30s, unless I'm wearing my reading glasses, that's what I see when I look in the mirror. layful:

I wouldn't want to date a younger man, I'd say no more than 5 years younger.  I don't care what they look like, they wouldn't have the maturity that I would want, and we wouldn't have much in common.  _I've never been very vain about my looks, never wanted to change my face or body parts, just grateful that I am healthy and don't suffer with the deformities that some others live their lives with.  Good topic Denise, you're a wise and beautiful lady. :love_heart:_


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## Denise1952 (Feb 18, 2014)

beautiful!  And hardly daft by not worrying about how you look, but who you are  My whole point!  I grew up thinking I had to look like the movie stars, instead, I was scrawny, big nose, and painfully insecure.  My teachers would usually write something like "Denise doesn't apply herself", they knew I was smart but didn't know how to convey that to me I guess.  I learned, and I learned what my belief was to be about the most important things in life

Thanks for sharing jm Denise, big hugs


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## That Guy (Feb 18, 2014)




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## Denise1952 (Feb 18, 2014)

Thank you Seabreeze, it's good to know someone "gets" me,, LOL!!


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## Denise1952 (Feb 18, 2014)

Beautiful!


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## Vivjen (Feb 18, 2014)

I have never been beautiful or pretty; I have always been overweight, sometimes slightly, sometimes a lot.

So I have always had to rely on other things.

I now have wrinkles too.....so.... I am smart, intelligent, witty, funny......and clean and tidy!


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## Denise1952 (Feb 18, 2014)

I think if we could all just realize that beauty isn't an "outside" job.  Not in people.  I mean I need to remember this as well, that's why I usually talk about things like this.  I think that caring about ourselves is so important.  I would never put a "friend down" as I put myself down at times.  I have never met you Viv but I am telling you, you are a beautiful person, and we (you and I don't have to look like the what we always get bombarded with, models, movie star beauty etc etc etc.) It isn't reality but many of us have grown up thinking it was.  We are older now, lets take in some of that wisdom.


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## Denise1952 (Feb 18, 2014)

yes, she's lovely, another "beauty", but at least a bit older.  I wonder if her insides match the outsides?


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## Vivjen (Feb 18, 2014)

I do, Denise....otherwise I would have been out of here years ago!


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## Vivjen (Feb 18, 2014)

Look at Dudi Dench..she has never been described as beautiful.

Joanna Lumley is wearing well, and she is not stupid either...


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## SifuPhil (Feb 18, 2014)

Looks are important in our younger years because they serve as mating attractants. Once we reach the non-child-bearing years we suddenly have this epiphany that looks don't matter.

The fact is, if you aren't interested in increasing the world's population looks don't mean a blessed thing. But you're going to be hard pressed to overcome that instinctive urge to seek out beauty, even though intellectually you know better. 

Instincts trump intelligence 9 times out of 10.


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## Justme (Feb 18, 2014)

I was only interested in my husband's intellectual ability, which was great before his illness, not his looks, however he wasn't too frightening in that department. Men other women seemed to find attractive didn't strike me that way at all.


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## That Guy (Feb 18, 2014)

I guess I'm typically male and extremely visual.  So, a woman whose physical attributes meet my specific likes is gonna be viewed as desirable.  But, there are many, MANY good looking women who become very unattractive to me as their ugly personality, or lack thereof, surfaces.  Now, if pretty to my tastes with preferable personality to match . . . I'm am helplessly smitten . . .


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## Denise1952 (Feb 18, 2014)

I agree Phil, chemistry (as I call it) is not absent from most people I have met.  I think it is normal.  In the old times people were put in arranged marriages, for example, chemistry or no chemistry.  I've heard people say they were married to someone they couldn't stand, but it was best for whatever reason.  Some even said they would not change it if they could it turned out so well.  

I think my biggest problem is expecting life to be one thing, and it turned out to be something totally different.  Most of the time I'm ok with it, today is not one of my up days.  I'm working on that now


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## Warrigal (Feb 18, 2014)

Just out of the bath where I spent some time contemplating this issue.

When I was young, like most young girls, I was attractive simply because I was young and healthy and full of energy, but thanks to the beauty industry I was totally unsure of myself. 
Too short? Big thighs? Imperfect skin? Fingernails wouldn't grow long and strong?

Did my husband care about any of these imperfections? Not a bit.
Did my children worry about them? Never.

I don't worry about them either anymore but of course time doesn't stand still.
I'm no longer young and healthy and full of energy.
I'm still short, who'd have thought that was a permanent feature?
The rest of my body has thickened to match the thighs, my skin is clear at last 
but is now sporting many lines and a few scars and my fingernails are still mostly kept short.

But I am still attractive to the husband of my youth.
Although he probably doesn't remember this song, he has lived out the lyrics.



> *Believe Me, If All Those Endearing Young Charms*
> 
> Believe me, if all those endearing young charms,
> Which I gaze on so fondly to-day,
> ...


We should take more time examining the inner qualities that make a person attractive to others.
Visual beauty without warmth is not going to sustain any relationship whether it be ******, familial or simply a friendship.

I like this photo of myself. 
I'm wearing no makeup, my hair is it's natural grey and worn short and straight, I'm fat and I wear spectacles
but you can see that I'm cheery and perfectly happy waiting to offer hospitality in the form of a cup of coffee.
A pox on the beauty industry that tries to undermine our confidence to sell more totally unnecessary product.


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## Pappy (Feb 18, 2014)

You rock, Warrigal. I would love to have a coffee with you any day. :cheers:


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## SifuPhil (Feb 18, 2014)

I think you're quite beautiful just the way you are. 

*WORLD EXCLUSIVE! REAL PICTURES!*

This was me back when I was about 40 or so, still married at the time ...



My martial arts days around the same age ...



And my pirate days, 45 or so in these pics ...

 

Basically that's me.


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## Warrigal (Feb 18, 2014)

I love the Pirate Phil.
So dashing and fun to know.


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## SifuPhil (Feb 18, 2014)

Warrigal said:


> I love the Pirate Phil.
> So dashing and fun to know.



That's just what the wenches said when they were petting my parrot ...


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## Ina (Feb 18, 2014)

Phil, Your wonderful!!!!   :cart:


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## SifuPhil (Feb 18, 2014)

Awww, I be thankin' ye kindly, m'Lady! :love_heart:

My biggest fear is that some day soon I might have to grow up and stop playing pirate! :sorrow:


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## Ina (Feb 18, 2014)

Warri, l think your a beauty. You even have nice small ears, and what I'd give to be able to wear that hair cut would be a (sin?). :cart:


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## Warrigal (Feb 18, 2014)

Why, Phil? Playing pirate is fun at any age. Aaaarrrgh!


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## Ina (Feb 18, 2014)

Yes Phil, that will be a shame. So!! Don't do that!!  :cart:


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## SifuPhil (Feb 18, 2014)

Warrigal said:


> Why, Phil? Playing pirate is fun at any age. Aaaarrrgh!



And now, thanks be ta' th' Magic Box settin' atop me desk, we be tagether once ag'in!





Ina said:


> Yes Phil, that will be a shame. So!! Don't do that!!  :cart:



As you can see, m'Lady, I doubt I'll be stopping any time soon - not 'til I be shark bait, anyways!


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## Ina (Feb 18, 2014)

When "things" go wrong for me, I have always made things, sewing and cooking when I was young. In my 30's I studied horticultural, and then pottery. I got sun poisoning, and then carpal (?) tunnel syndrome, so I had to stop both of those stress outlets. My luck! Then around 40, to relieve stress I began drawing. My drawings were awful, until a picture of one of my children started to fade to that terrible pale orange color. I picked up my pencil, and 8 hours flew by before I knew it. Then I found a picture of a 92 year old friend, so I drew men him in color. I found I loved faces, all faces, ugly, pretty, young and old. But my favorite to draw are the older people. What I see in people's faces tells me so much about the person. There is so much beauty, even in the average face.  I have even refused to draw a couple of people, because what I saw in them frightened me. Sometimes you can see evil in a person's face. So I guess that beauty really is in the eye of the beholder. And now that I have to live on disability, the extra 3 to 4 hundred dollars in cash comes in handy. I think all people are beautiful. :cart:


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## Pappy (Feb 18, 2014)

Oh well. As long as we are showing our own pics, I'll send a couple.


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## Jillaroo (Feb 18, 2014)

Ok this wasn't a good shot of me, it was taken a few years ago, ok i am now removing it and putting my little man Jack R.I.P


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## Pappy (Feb 18, 2014)

Love all the pics. Nice to see who you are talking to.layful:


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## RedRibbons (Feb 18, 2014)

Me around five







Me in my early 30's with oldest child.








Me in my early 40's









I loved seeing the pics of you all.


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## Justme (Feb 19, 2014)

Me taken when I was two in 1952. I am still rebelling at being dressed in 'pretty' dresses by my mother!


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## SifuPhil (Feb 19, 2014)

Great pics all!


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## Pappy (Feb 19, 2014)

Grandpa and me with his "catch" of the day. Doing a play on local radio station. Just look for the kid with his big mouth open.


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## Denise1952 (Feb 19, 2014)

If you can't beat'em, join'em, lol!!


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## Denise1952 (Feb 19, 2014)

I was in a play in gradeschool  Christmas elf.


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## Falcon (Feb 19, 2014)

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c58/johnwebster/295620094ZhOcJO_th.jpg


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## Denise1952 (Feb 19, 2014)

One of my faves, love my lil bro


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## Denise1952 (Feb 19, 2014)

nice photos Falcon


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## Denise1952 (Feb 19, 2014)

sounds familiar except my sister, and older bro were 10 or so years apart from Alan and I.  I remember crying when they left to get married, first my bro, then my sis.  Then it was just Alan and I but we had some times for sure.  Mostly, we survived.


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## That Guy (Feb 19, 2014)

Guess I should share, too.

I'm the one yelling, "Hey!  Hey!  Hey!  Got it!!!"


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## Denise1952 (Feb 19, 2014)

lovely pic gal  I love what you've written, it is nice to get to be where you are, even if it's just online.  You are the kind of "people" I love meeting Denise


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## Denise1952 (Feb 19, 2014)

Gads, those are surfers right?  If so, I never knew so many would be in one place!!


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## That Guy (Feb 19, 2014)




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## Denise1952 (Feb 19, 2014)

Hey TG, you were a surfer or still are??  I never got to try it, but I still slalom ski, love that, but no comparison I'm sure  Well, balance I suppose


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## That Guy (Feb 19, 2014)

nwlady said:


> Gads, those are surfers right?  If so, I never knew so many would be in one place!!



Crowded???  That ain't nothin'!  You should see it (I advise against not...) when it's an actual dog pile.  Disgusting.


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## That Guy (Feb 19, 2014)

nwlady said:


> Hey TG, you were a surfer or still are??  I never got to try it, but I still slalom ski, love that, but no comparison I'm sure  Well, balance I suppose



Yes ma'am, I have pure saltwater running through my veins.  Of course, I love saying to the posers, "We are only surfers when we are actually surfing."  So, at the moment, I'm just a guy (with pure saltwater running through his veins) sitting on his butt at a computer...


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## SifuPhil (Feb 19, 2014)

I surfed on over to Wally-Mart today and bought some Surf detergent, of which they had a surfeit. I was surf-footed on the way to the cashier but fell on a tube. They waved me on, which made my toes curl. 

Now I'm just board.


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## That Guy (Feb 20, 2014)

SifuPhil said:


> I surfed on over to Wally-Mart today and bought some Surf detergent, of which they had a surfeit. I was surf-footed on the way to the cashier but fell on a tube. They waved me on, which made my toes curl.
> 
> Now I'm just board.



Was always tempted to use Surf Detergent but rely more on Tide.


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## Warrigal (Feb 20, 2014)

I'm loving the way this thread is developing but I have last minute things to do now.

Tootle-oo and keep it going.


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## Denise1952 (Feb 20, 2014)

oh sure WG, jump ship on us Hurry back!! Denise


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## SifuPhil (Feb 20, 2014)

That Guy said:


> Was always tempted to use Surf Detergent but rely more on Tide.



Well, Time and Tide wait for no man ...


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## Denise1952 (Feb 20, 2014)

what are we talking about here, what detergents make us itch and which don't, what gets pit stains out and what doesn't.  I guess I need to read back a few posts. OMgosh, this is my thread on beauty an inside job, LOLLLLLLLLl!! This reminds me of that "gossip" game where first person whispers to another and so on, then by the time it get's to the last person, the message is totally diff, LOL!! Fun fun!!


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## SifuPhil (Feb 20, 2014)

It's still on topic ...

Time takes it's toll on physical beauty, but like the tides our wonderful personalities are eternal.


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## Denise1952 (Feb 20, 2014)

Oh, Ok, like Tide (tides), this is too deep for me:wiggle:back to the shallow end, lol


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## SifuPhil (Feb 20, 2014)

nwlady said:


> Oh, Ok, like Tide (tides), this is too deep for me:wiggle:back to the shallow end, lol



Nah, I'm just pulling stuff out of the air to cover my butt. It's a trick you learn being a bouncer.


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## SeaBreeze (Feb 20, 2014)

nwlady said:


> Oh, Ok, like Tide (tides), this is too deep for me:wiggle:back to the shallow end, lol



Too deep for me too Nwlady, need to put on the ol' hip-waders!   Warrigal was smart to bail when she did, lol.  Now...back on topic, it's not laundry day here fellas!!


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## SeaBreeze (Feb 20, 2014)

Betty White, beauty inside and out at 92 years young, IMO...
​


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## SeaBreeze (Feb 20, 2014)

Never knew anything about her politics, just know she's an animal lover and basically a kind and caring person.   Not sure what I think of those who would change their opinions of someone purely on their political views.


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## RedRibbons (Feb 20, 2014)

I love you all's pics, please keep posting them.


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## SeaBreeze (Feb 20, 2014)

Well, the thread is about beauty on the inside and out, and I think that fine lady fits the bill.


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## GDAD (Feb 21, 2014)

REDROBBIN: I cleaned this photo up for you.


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## Jillaroo (Feb 21, 2014)

_That looks good now Gdad_:hatlaugh1:


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## Denise1952 (Feb 21, 2014)

GDAD said:


> View attachment 5297
> 
> 
> REDROBBIN: I cleaned this photo up for you.



This is a great photo gdad


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## SeaBreeze (Feb 21, 2014)

Very nice GDAD!  I agree Nwlady, she seems like a warm woman with a heart of gold.  I also enjoyed her humor in sitcoms over the years, funny gal.


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## That Guy (Feb 21, 2014)




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## Denise1952 (Feb 21, 2014)

That Guy said:


>



It's the eyes I love in photos of the elderly especially the elderly.  Their eyes tell a story


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## That Guy (Feb 21, 2014)




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## RedRibbons (Feb 21, 2014)

GDAD said:


> View attachment 5297
> 
> 
> REDROBBIN: I cleaned this photo up for you.



Thank you Sweetie, but my name is Redribbons not redrobbin.layful:


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