# Sometimes I lose the meaning of life.



## Ilya (Jun 22, 2021)

Sometimes I lose the meaning of life.
In high school, the goal was to finish the training. At the university, the goal was similar. In adult life, it was more difficult, but I set myself virtual goals in my work. In addition, creating and strengthening a family was also the goal.
But now I feel that the children have grown up, the work is over, and raising grandchildren is not the same as raising children. In addition to the moments with travel (which I love very much) and conversations with people, I became bored with life. I have read all the books that interest me, and using endless entertainment also gets boring over time.
I feel like my mental health is getting worse. How do you find the strength to have fun, find meaning in life every day, and do you succeed?


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## funsearcher! (Jun 22, 2021)

Helping others and learning new things will always be on my list.


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## Happyflowerlady (Jun 22, 2021)

I think that this kind of thing happens to all of us as we grow older, @Ilya .  When I was younger, I was busy taking care of my family, and we had good times together. 
We went hiking, fishing, and rode our horses (and ponies) high up into the mountains. 

Now, I have heart failure, bad balance, and other heath issues that would prevent me from riding a horse even if I still had one, or doing most of the other things that I once enjoyed. 

I think that the answer has to be with our attitude. 
As  the saying goes , “an attitude of gratitude”, is important. We need to be grateful for what we can still do, and enjoy that while we still can. 
The things that I am still able to do, I do, and for the things I can’t, I look for replacements. I also read a lot every day, and try to expand my mind, and I read to learn how better to take care of my body; so that it will last longer and I can keep on doing the things that I am still able to do, for as long as possible. 
No matter how old we are, we can still search for truth and knowledge.


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## Devi (Jun 22, 2021)

In addition to @Happyflowerlady's excellent post, I note that you've achieved many or most of your earlier goals. You need to set new goals!

As for me, I'm retired, from a career that I did right up to the time when I felt done with it. I like to fiddle around and watch movies, so that's what I do.


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## bingo (Jun 22, 2021)

the meaning of life is so dogs and cats won't have to  work


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## SmoothSeas (Jun 22, 2021)

funsearcher! said:


> Helping others and learning new things will always be on my list.



Great suggestions...

There's a quote by Dorothy Parker I rather like...'Curiosity is the cure for boredom.  There is no cure for curiosity.'

Find something you're curious about and pursue it with a vengeance...


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## Irwin (Jun 22, 2021)

SmoothSeas said:


> Great suggestions...
> 
> There's a quote by Dorothy Parker I rather like...'Curiosity is the cure for boredom.  There is no cure for curiosity.'
> 
> Find something you're curious about and pursue it with a vengeance...


I'd never heard of her before so I Googled her. She was pretty impressive! I'm going to look a bit deeper this evening.


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## Gaer (Jun 22, 2021)

Ilya,  You look like one of my paintings!
Where are you located?
I gather you're not in America!
Are you alone?  This makes a difference in how I answer your question.
Was your whole life tied up with your children in the past?
Guess i need to know a little more about you before I answer, as I'd like to help!


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## Mr. Ed (Jun 22, 2021)

Ilya said:


> How do you find the strength to have fun, find meaning in life every day, and do you succeed?


Recognize differences in day to day living. Be patient and don't lose hope. Tomorrow and the next day present new and interesting possibilities.


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## Ilya (Jun 22, 2021)

Gaer said:


> Илья, ты похож на одну из моих картин!
> Где вы находитесь?
> Я так понимаю, вы не в Америке!
> Ты один? Это имеет значение в том, как я отвечу на ваш вопрос.
> ...


I was born in Russia, but now I travel to different countries. My life has not been completely connected to my children in the past. Children and a loved one nearby do not matter. Rather, this is due to the fact that I have always liked to achieve something and strive for a specific result. When I didn't understand art, I wanted to understand art, and I did. When I wanted to be the best manager in the company, I became one. But in my old age, I can't set such big goals anymore. That's probably the problem. Because of the global nature of the past, I lost the fire in my eyes.


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## Gaer (Jun 22, 2021)

Hahahahaha!  Can you  translate from the Russian?


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## Ilya (Jun 22, 2021)

Gaer said:


> Hahahahaha!  Can you  translate from the Russian?


Yes! And I show it


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## Gaer (Jun 22, 2021)

Ilya said:


> I was born in Russia, but now I travel to different countries. My life has not been completely connected to my children in the past. Children and a loved one nearby do not matter. Rather, this is due to the fact that I have always liked to achieve something and strive for a specific result. When I didn't understand art, I wanted to understand art, and I did. When I wanted to be the best manager in the company, I became one. But in my old age, I can't set such big goals anymore. That's probably the problem. Because of the global nature of the past, I lost the fire in my eyes.


There must be something that sets your soul on fire!  
There must be something you love to do, a passion!
Don't do something because others think you should. or take the tried, easy way.
Do what you REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY want to do, even if it scares you!
WHAT WOULD MAKE YOU SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW, even if it seems impossible?
You are too young and handsome to give up.
You must have ideas that come into your head!  Follow them and see where they take you!
If a Holy Angel appeared before you this moment, and asked for your one wish, WHAT WOULD IT BE?


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## Ilya (Jun 22, 2021)

Gaer said:


> There must be something that sets your soul on fire!
> There must be something you love to do, a passion!
> Don't do something because others think you should. or take the tried, easy way.
> Do what you REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY want to do, even if it scares you!
> ...


"If a Holy Angel appeared before you this moment, and asked for your one wish, WHAT WOULD IT BE?"
My wish: maybe erase my memory and re-hear the music of Bach? I think curiosity is the key to everything.


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## Ilya (Jun 22, 2021)

But everything that I was interested in, I learned.
That's the problem.


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## Oris Borloff (Jun 22, 2021)

Irwin said:


> I'd never heard of her before so I Googled her. She was pretty impressive! I'm going to look a bit deeper this evening.


“All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends. ”​
― Dorothy Parker


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## Gaer (Jun 22, 2021)

Do you stop learning at a specific age?  NO!
I'm old but I feel young and have the time now to study!  I am studying metaphysics, literature, philosophy, ancient wisdoms;, all kinds of things I had no time to do when I worked.  It's a whole new beginning!  You keep all these things as you pass to new lives!

You said you are curious.  STUDY what you are curious about!  Woodworking?  Playing the piano?  Reading?  Writing?  Bach?  
The whole purpose of life is the expansion of happiness!  If music excites you, surround yourself in music!
Ask your angels (who are with  you) to guide you to your happiness!

I will give way to let someone else give suggestions.  I must not take up all this space!


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## Chris P Bacon (Jun 22, 2021)

Ilya said:


> But everything that I was interested in, I learned.
> That's the problem.


How did you know what things interested you before you found them? It seems that somehow you found things of interest before, maybe you can go through that same discovery process to find other things of interest now. Or maybe you can create an interest that's unknown to any of us now. I get bored sometimes and that's when I start thinking about things like what is the meaning of life, all those heavy thoughts. Maybe if you shared your knowledge with others who don't or haven't learned everything they are interested in, maybe that would rekindle the fire inside of you and you'll find other and lasting interests. A candle doesn't lose anything by using it's flame to light another candle you know. It just makes the night a little brighter. Teach me some of what you've learned. That will keep you busy for a while!


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## SmoothSeas (Jun 22, 2021)

Chris P Bacon said:


> A candle doesn't lose anything by using it's flame to light another candle you know.



I like this...


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## Chris P Bacon (Jun 22, 2021)

Ilya said:


> "If a Holy Angel appeared before you this moment, and asked for your one wish, WHAT WOULD IT BE?"
> My wish: maybe erase my memory and re-hear the music of Bach? I think curiosity is the key to everything.


I don't know for sure but it might be possible that you could bring "bach" the music of Mr Bach. He hasn't made anything new lately, I'm fairly certain of that but his works are still out there to be heard. You say that you think curiosity is the key to everything, well maybe you might be interested in learning how to be more curious. I'm curious about many things myself. I'm so curious that I did a search for ways I could be even more curious. You're welcome to have a look, this is the link - *How to be curious *


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## Llynn (Jun 22, 2021)

The meaning of life, the universe and everything is 42.


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## Chet (Jun 22, 2021)

I get where you are coming from. The problem is that as retirees we have no meaningful goals. What to do about it, I don't know. Things that had to be done before to have a successful and comfortable life are now finished.


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## Irwin (Jun 22, 2021)

I find meaning in life by learning new things. Right now, I'm learning about nihilism.


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## RadishRose (Jun 22, 2021)

Ilya said:


> That's the problem.


If your doctor said you only had a few weeks to live, would that be a greater problem or a lesser one?


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## mellowyellow (Jun 22, 2021)

Boredom is the old person’s companion - we’ve seen it all - done what we wanted to do, read all the books, seen all the movies, travelled the world.   And yet, overcoming this horrible dilemma of boredom is probably the hardest thing of all.


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## MarciKS (Jun 22, 2021)

Find a new hobby?


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## Chris P Bacon (Jun 22, 2021)

.If I ever accomplish or achieve all of my dreams, if ever they all come true, I hope that I'll never be so cynical that I won't dream new ones. The goalposts may get moved or as Lucy always does to Charlie brown, the ball may get pulled away but by golly, I'm still in the game!


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## Chris P Bacon (Jun 22, 2021)

Captain Sensible's advice seems sensible enough for  me!


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## fancicoffee13 (Jun 24, 2021)

Ilya said:


> Sometimes I lose the meaning of life.
> In high school, the goal was to finish the training. At the university, the goal was similar. In adult life, it was more difficult, but I set myself virtual goals in my work. In addition, creating and strengthening a family was also the goal.
> But now I feel that the children have grown up, the work is over, and raising grandchildren is not the same as raising children. In addition to the moments with travel (which I love very much) and conversations with people, I became bored with life. I have read all the books that interest me, and using endless entertainment also gets boring over time.
> I feel like my mental health is getting worse. How do you find the strength to have fun, find meaning in life every day, and do you succeed?


Just know, that this is just a momentary thought.  There will always be ways to tell yourself, I am glad I got up today!  Not every day is welcomed with thoughts like I lost my interest in life.  Pets are great at perking you up, or a nice walk in the evening or morning when it is cool.  Or do something you haven't tried yet.  I joined a senior center and they had line dancing.  That sounded like fun and it is.  So, just keep on keepin' on.


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## fancicoffee13 (Jun 24, 2021)

Chet said:


> I get where you are coming from. The problem is that as retirees we have no meaningful goals. What to do about it, I don't know. Things that had to be done before to have a successful and comfortable life are now finished.


I still like to feel like I can make a difference.  So, I joined a senior center and became a board member, and president of a club.  I also love leading (semi-leading) line dancing.  Don't give up.  Us seniors aren't done yet, no sir!


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## helenbacque (Jun 25, 2021)

SmoothSeas said:


> Great suggestions...
> 
> There's a quote by Dorothy Parker I rather like...'Curiosity is the cure for boredom.  There is no cure for curiosity.'
> 
> Find something you're curious about and pursue it with a vengeance...


Dorothy Parker had it right.  Curiosity plus Google equals never being bored or without purpose.


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## SmoothSeas (Jun 25, 2021)

helenbacque said:


> Dorothy Parker had it right.  Curiosity plus Google equals never being bored or without purpose.



Before Google there was the card catalog...  Dewey Decimal organized in the library stacks...


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## Paco Dennis (Jun 25, 2021)

For me my mid life was used mainly for taking care of my family and having close friends, who also helped a lot when the time came for it. So most of my time was used "nurturing" others. Sure I did "please" my self with interesting stuff, but I wasn't nurturing to myself. Since retiring I have increasing realized to stop being hard on myself. I let things go that bother me, or cause unneeded stress. I have the freedom now to wander to what interests me, and that lasts awhile, then onto another flower to absorb some nectar.


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## Pepper (Jun 25, 2021)

There is no meaning to life, except to enjoy as much as one can.  There is no higher purpose than that.  Again, learning late.....................


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## Nathan (Jun 25, 2021)

Amenan said:


> *Mental Health Benefits of Exercise.*
> Exercise is not just about getting fit and building muscle.  However, people who exercise regularly tend to do so because it gives them a sense of well-being. And they feel more energetic throughout the day, sleep better at night. And have sharper memories. Consequently, they feel more relaxed and positive about themselves and their lives. Also, it’s a powerful medicine for many common mental health challenges.
> *Exercise Helps Fight Depression.*​Studies show that exercise can treat mild to moderate depression as effectively as antidepressant medication. But without the side effects. So then, exercise is a powerful depression fighter for several reasons. Most importantly, it promotes all kinds of changes in the brain, including neural growth, and reduced inflammation. And new activity patterns that promote feelings of calm and well-being. Also, it releases endorphins, powerful chemicals in your brain. These energize your spirits and make you feel good. Finally, exercise can also serve as a distraction. So then, allowing you to find some quiet time to break out of negative thoughts that feed depression.
> Exercise is an Anti Anxiety Treatment.​
> ...



Very true, great post.    Exercise turned my life around, I feel healthier and more physically capable now(age 69) than when I was in my mid forties.


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## Tom 86 (Jun 25, 2021)

When I was working.  I see older people retire.  Some just sat at home doing nothing.  They were gone in 6 months to a year.  Then I saw others that got a hobby, learned to fish, play a musical instrument in old-timers bands. Travel & see places on their bucket list.  They are still around.

I had a bucket list till my wife died as we mowed 30 lawns here in town, now I'm living alone & learning new things on my computer. Since years ago I built computers for people.

  It's all about how you look at life & if your willing to try new things.


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## Murrmurr (Jun 25, 2021)

@Ilya - I missed one of my goals. I wanted to teach history but I dropped out of college to take care of my family (3 children).

I'm 66 now, but it's not too late. I could go back to school and get at least a teaching credential. I could at least be a teacher's assistant, and I could keep going to school, too.

Technically, I didn't _miss_ that goal, I changed it because my kids became a higher priority. Ever have that kind of experience?


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## Pepper (Jun 25, 2021)

I want to learn to thrive while doing almost absolutely nothing.


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## Murrmurr (Jun 25, 2021)

Pepper said:


> I want to learn to thrive while doing almost absolutely nothing.


I feel like I'm doing that. 

I do housework on the daily but that's not interesting, and now I do it with the Missus, which makes it a little more fun but no more interesting. Kids come over to stay the weekend; the 2 youngest grandkids and/or Paxton. That livens things up quite a bit, but it can get exhausting.

To "thrive" I study stuff. History, global politics and cosmic sciences are my favorites. And all I have to do is sit in my recliner and read or watch videos.


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## Pepper (Jun 25, 2021)

The missus?


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## Murrmurr (Jun 25, 2021)

Pepper said:


> The missus?


Mrs Murr. Michelle. For about a month now.


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## Pepper (Jun 25, 2021)

You got married?  Where's the post on that?


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## Murrmurr (Jun 25, 2021)

Pepper said:


> You got married?  Where's the post on that?


I was keeping it on the down-low.


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## Pepper (Jun 25, 2021)

Sorry to go so off topic But..................you introduced Michelle to us as someone plotting marriage on you, you were scared and now you're married?

You're weird.


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## Murrmurr (Jun 25, 2021)

Pepper said:


> Sorry to go so off topic But..................you introduced Michelle to us as someone plotting marriage on you, you were scared and now you're married?
> 
> You're weird.


I'm mensch, lady!

I'm gonna PM you. I mean that in a good way.


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## fancicoffee13 (Jun 27, 2021)

Amenan said:


> *Mental Health Benefits of Exercise.*
> Exercise is not just about getting fit and building muscle.  However, people who exercise regularly tend to do so because it gives them a sense of well-being. And they feel more energetic throughout the day, sleep better at night. And have sharper memories. Consequently, they feel more relaxed and positive about themselves and their lives. Also, it’s a powerful medicine for many common mental health challenges.
> *Exercise Helps Fight Depression.*​Studies show that exercise can treat mild to moderate depression as effectively as antidepressant medication. But without the side effects. So then, exercise is a powerful depression fighter for several reasons. Most importantly, it promotes all kinds of changes in the brain, including neural growth, and reduced inflammation. And new activity patterns that promote feelings of calm and well-being. Also, it releases endorphins, powerful chemicals in your brain. These energize your spirits and make you feel good. Finally, exercise can also serve as a distraction. So then, allowing you to find some quiet time to break out of negative thoughts that feed depression.
> Exercise is an Anti Anxiety Treatment.​
> ...


Oh my dear friend.  I found different pets one time.  I decided to feed outside birds, since I wouldn't have to pick up any poop or have any veterinary bills.  I love sunrises and sunsets.  Your emotions are getting in the way.  Don't let them win.  Pick up yourself, dust yourself off and start all over again.  Listen to that song.  Get joy back on purpose.  There are always ways to count your blessings, look on the other side of things.  Do ancestry, another puzzle, go outside and enjoy the birds singing or sunrise.  Please, don't give up.


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## fancicoffee13 (Jun 27, 2021)

Amenan said:


> *Mental Health Benefits of Exercise.*
> Exercise is not just about getting fit and building muscle.  However, people who exercise regularly tend to do so because it gives them a sense of well-being. And they feel more energetic throughout the day, sleep better at night. And have sharper memories. Consequently, they feel more relaxed and positive about themselves and their lives. Also, it’s a powerful medicine for many common mental health challenges.
> *Exercise Helps Fight Depression.*​Studies show that exercise can treat mild to moderate depression as effectively as antidepressant medication. But without the side effects. So then, exercise is a powerful depression fighter for several reasons. Most importantly, it promotes all kinds of changes in the brain, including neural growth, and reduced inflammation. And new activity patterns that promote feelings of calm and well-being. Also, it releases endorphins, powerful chemicals in your brain. These energize your spirits and make you feel good. Finally, exercise can also serve as a distraction. So then, allowing you to find some quiet time to break out of negative thoughts that feed depression.
> Exercise is an Anti Anxiety Treatment.​
> ...


I love exercise, it is the making myself get out and do it.  So, I found line dancing at a senior center and I love it!  I also adopted a new young dog and she loves to go for morning walks.  Long ones!


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## Ilya (Jun 29, 2021)

Murrmurr said:


> @Ilya - I missed one of my goals. I wanted to teach history but I dropped out of college to take care of my family (3 children).
> 
> I'm 66 now, but it's not too late. I could go back to school and get at least a teaching credential. I could at least be a teacher's assistant, and I could keep going to school, too.
> 
> Technically, I didn't _miss_ that goal, I changed it because my kids became a higher priority. Ever have that kind of experience?


No, because I chose an education and a profession that I love. Not immediately, it was a second education and only then I started a family.


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## Jules (Jun 29, 2021)

Murrmurr said:


> I was keeping it on the down-low.


Congrats.  Start another thread and tell us a little about this.  I thought you were saying ‘miss’ and adding ‘us’ because you were living together.


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## helenbacque (Jun 29, 2021)

I used retirement to do some of the things I didn't have time or couldn't do when I was earning a living and raising children.


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## Devi (Jun 29, 2021)

What @helenbacque said.

I'm looking to pick up more French (had a few years in high school and remember it), then starting in on Spanish (had one year in high school, which wasn't enough).


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