# What are your Thanksgiving traditions or routines?



## Ronni (Oct 29, 2018)

For many years I did a very traditional Thanksgiving dinner, made numerous sides, roasted a turkey, set a tasteful table, and the end result looked like a Normal Rockwell painting.   

I've changed a lot in the last few years!  It's a pot-luck now, and everyone who attends brings a dish. All my kids always come, their spouses or significant others, the grandkids, I have several "adopted" children (kids I've befriended over the years) who attend, and sometimes a close friend or two. I still make several of the sides that my kids love and associate with Thanksgiving, but I no longer take on the whole burden of cooking. My son in law smokes or deep fries a turkey and it's always amazing. 

As my children like to tell people "Mom takes in strays at Thanksgiving" which is a good way of putting it.  Any of their friends or mine who have nowhere to be at Thanksgiving just come and celebrate with us.  The food is served buffet style because there just isn't enough table room or room-room for everyone to sit together.  

We also don't eat on Thursday. Too many conflicts with other schedules..the spouses families' etc., and as I don't care WHEN we all get together, just THAT we do, I prefer to not fight the scheduling issues and just do it on either Friday or Saturday!  

What about you?  What are your routines or traditions?


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## hollydolly (Oct 29, 2018)

None...we don't have thanksgiving here...obviously....


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## Don M. (Oct 29, 2018)

After many years of hosting the Holidays at our house, our grown daughters/husbands have now taken over that tradition.  The oldest daughter has Thanksgiving at their place, and the youngest has Christmas at theirs.  My wife usually makes a couple of nice pies to take along for desert, and that works out well.  The Only question...at Christmas...is if there will be a White Christmas....in which case, we take the 4WD truck, and leave early.


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## RadishRose (Oct 29, 2018)

I stopped doing it for my small family a few years ago. Years and years ago, I did it for my in-laws and there were usually a dozen.  I never made pies. My mother- in- law did that or later, I just bought a few.

My own mother never made that green bean casserole. When I finally did taste it somewhere I didn't like it, so no one at my table got to have that. They had to bring their own if they wanted it. No one ever did.

I used cut-up turkey the last two times. Drums, thighs, wings and the breast split in two, in a large, shallow pan The breasts went in somewhat later. It was great and much easier.

I have tasted deep fried turkey and it's delicious, but there's no gravy!


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## Aunt Bea (Oct 29, 2018)

I grew up with a big family Thanksgiving and we continued it for many years with a table in the living room, dining room, kitchen and a few kids eating while glued to the television.

It eventually fizzled out about fifteen years ago and became a much smaller unstructured day for folks to go shopping, catch a movie or perhaps spend the day with friends.

These days I fix a mini feast for one.

As far as traditions go:


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## RadishRose (Oct 29, 2018)

:lofl:


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## Ronni (Oct 29, 2018)

RadishRose said:


> I have tasted deep fried turkey and it's delicious, but there's no gravy!


 Why not?  I mean sure, there are no pan drippings, but there are still giblets. I make the stock from that several days before. And then make the gravy day of, thickening the stock, seasoning, adding back some of the minced giblets and some of that delicious crispy skin with onions that I’ve run through the food processor to mash it up. The end result is gravy that my kids tell me I need to make a gallon of so they can slurp it up like soup, or make gravy bread with till Christmas! :lol:


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## RadishRose (Oct 29, 2018)

Ronni said:


> Why not?  I mean sure, there are no pan drippings, but there are still giblets. I make the stock from that several days before. And then make the gravy day of, thickening the stock, seasoning, adding back some of the minced giblets and some of that delicious crispy skin with onions that I’ve run through the food processor to mash it up. The end result is gravy that my kids tell me I need to make a gallon of so they can slurp it up like soup, or make gravy bread with till Christmas! :lol:



I'm just a pan drippings kinda gal, Ronnie. I love the intensity of those caramelized juices.  

I do make stock from the neck to make the gravy with, while the liver is sauteed separately to be minced for the stuffing-unless my grandson runs off with it. I don't bother with the heart and kidneys.


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## Ronni (Oct 30, 2018)

RadishRose said:


> I'm just a pan drippings kinda gal, Ronnie. I love the intensity of those caramelized juices.



I completely agree!  While it's definitely better with the pan drippings, making it anyway from scratch is STILL so much better than store bought!!!


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## Trade (Oct 30, 2018)




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## RadishRose (Oct 30, 2018)

Ronni said:


> I completely agree!  While it's definitely better with the pan drippings, making it anyway from scratch is STILL so much better than store bought!!!



Oh yes, Ronni I agree.


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## peppermint (Oct 30, 2018)

I'm having Thanksgiving this year....Our family takes turns....It will be my daughter's family, my son's family and my daughters husband's Mom...She is a widow....We love her..
We have Turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, veggies, (don't know what kind yet) daughter brings them....Sweet Potatoes, and Mashed Potatoes....Pumpkin Pie, Chocolate
Cream Pie, Pecan Pie, Apple Pie and whatever anyone wants to bring....We pray before the meal....And remember my Mom who was born on Thanksgiving...
And give thanks for all that we have and pray for my husband who went through Cancer this year....So far he is doing OK....We wait for the five year's when he will be
cleared....Thanks be to God....
Happy Thanksgiving....


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## Falcon (Oct 30, 2018)

My  adult son  and I  will run over to Albertsons  &  pick up all the stuff  in paper/cardboard/ aluminum foil;  Turkey ,  ham  slices,
smashed  spuds,  veggies, sauces  etc.  bring it home  and have a feast,  perhaps  wash  it all down  with a couple  cans/bottles
of  Coors  Lite.


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## Marie5656 (Oct 31, 2018)

*We have my two cousins over for dinner. They are brothers, and their family is all down south, so they go down there for Christmas.  I cook the regular turkey, with my moms stuffing.  Sweet and white smashed taters, cranberries, pie and all that.  

My brother told me something neat a few years back.  My niece never met our mom, but he taught her how to make mom's dressing and she makes it every year.  He told me it was almost as good as moms.  I just think it is neat she carries on the tradition of her grandma she only knows through pictures.
*


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## Tommy (Oct 31, 2018)

Is it just my experience, or do people tend to favor the type of stuffing they grew up with?  My family always had giblet stuffing and that's what I prefer.  My wife's family always had oyster stuffing and that's her preference.  A friend grew up with chestnut stuffing and won't eat any other kind.  Is this common?


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## GeorgiaXplant (Oct 31, 2018)

We'll just do what we have done ever since I've been here (nine years)...DD, DSIL, g'kids, me. All the usual fixings, most of them made by me. G'daughter makes an apple pie, and just somehow can't seem to get started until about an hour before dinner. Good thing there's a full kitchen in The Hovel. LOL

On Black Friday, we don't go out to brave the crowds because...why would we? We spend the day picking at leftovers, then make a whole meal of them for supper.

Anybody have drama going on? You know, the relatives who get all bent because they want to/don't want to have dinner at their place/dinner at your place/dinner with another relative and expect everybody else to go along? The "guests" who only just discovered that they're allergic to everything you're serving and want a whole different menu but don't cook so expect you to provide it? The relatives who haven't spoken to each other for years but can't seem to remember why?

On another forum, there are stories that would curl your hair. A couple of the posters gave up long ago and take cruises for Thanksgiving AND Christmas. 
*One has told their son's new(est) GF that if she wants gluten-free and vegan, she's welcome to contribute those dishes. 
*Another one who insists she can't be anywhere in the vicinity of any kind of nuts. 
*How about the MIL who's always picked up by her g'son on his way from college (she lives two hours away from the poster g'son goes to school four hours away). He just bought a car and is excited to show his grandmother. His GF will be with him. MIL refuses to go because g'son and his GF will be sharing a room. 
*Oy! The demands are endless. ​
Gosh. Growing up my family was positively boring according to the stories I've read about others' holidays.


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## RadishRose (Oct 31, 2018)

Sounds like you work hard for your guests Georgia.

I like to remember Thanksgiving is about giving thanks... also while sharing a table. It doen't necessarily mean being with family and friends. It's about giving thanks... a prayer.

If invited guests have all these allergies and food rules these days, that's fine. We just need to change any giving of thanks dinners to BYOSF... Bring Your Own Special Foods. It will be so much nicer.


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## GeorgiaXplant (Oct 31, 2018)

No, no! Not me, Rose. Those were all episodes posted on another forum about drama at their holiday celebrations! We're "normal" at our house. Or maybe not, if what's "normal" is the antics in other families!


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## Ruth n Jersey (Oct 31, 2018)

I always had Thanksgiving but now that my daughter is married we switch off. Over the years I have really simplified my way of making the dinner. Having two big freezers help. If I go to my daughters I bring some side dishes.


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## Buckeye (Oct 31, 2018)

This year going to the County Club for T-Day dinner with my SO.  Last year went to my son's in Colorado.  2 years ago had a frozen dinner at home (on the Big Island) by myself.  

And now I'm sitting here racking my brain to remember what we did 3 years ago - it was my late wife's last T-Day, but I just have no idea what we did.  All i can do now is to ask for her forgiveness for my faulty memory.


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## Gary O' (Oct 31, 2018)

Ronni said:


> What about you?  What are your routines or traditions?



Choking on jokes with a shard of half chewn turkey leg sucked into my esophagus 

Smearing whipped cream on my beard while gobbling punkin pie

Waddling outside with the guys and cigars

Joining the annual belching contest

Playing fartball (football while farting)

Falling in a heap, on the bed, any bed, or couch

Waking, venturing into the dining room to fill any possible space left in my intestines

Hiding, in the bathroom, hoping those people (relatives) would freaking leave, already



Being thankful



When they do


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## Bearwoman (Oct 31, 2018)

I haven't really celebrated the holidays since my son was in the Army,now he lives in Texas and attending a business college in a medical billing class. We do talk on the phone now and then and keep in touch by Facebook.


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## dkay (Nov 3, 2018)

I always enjoy watching the Macy's Thanksgiving day parade. I keep waiting for one of those big balloons to escape. My family has always had celery stuffed with pineapple cream cheese. There is never any of that left over. I'm not a fan of turkey but I fill up easily on all the side dishes: stuffing, the celery, candied yams and of course lots and lots of mashed potatoes with gravy.


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## StarSong (Nov 3, 2018)

My MIL hosted TG for years.  When she was ready to hand it off our daughter requested the holiday which worked for me.  Turkey has never been a favorite of mine and five years ago DH and I stopped eating meat anyway.  We host at least four big parties during the period from TG-Christmas, plus Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.  One of our sons hosts Easter.

We all bring something to TG.  Like dkay, I find there are more than enough side dishes to fill me up on TG.


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## jujube (Nov 3, 2018)

I always defrost my turkey in the dryer.  Does the double duty of defrosting and tenderizing.   I just tell everyone it's my tribal drumming group practicing out in the garage.  They're getting suspicious, though.


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## Butterfly (Nov 3, 2018)

I used to do the big Thanksgiving dinner thing before family pretty much all either died off or grew up and moved away.  Now it's just my sister and I, and we do something very low key.


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## Marie5656 (Nov 3, 2018)

Tommy said:


> Is it just my experience, or do people tend to favor the type of stuffing they grew up with?  My family always had giblet stuffing and that's what I prefer.  My wife's family always had oyster stuffing and that's her preference.  A friend grew up with chestnut stuffing and won't eat any other kind.  Is this common?



*Not just you. In all my years of cooking for the day, I have never deviated from my mom's stuffing.  Bread, Italian sasusage, cut up giblets and celery.  Add broth and sage, and perfection.  I have eaten other stuffing, if somewhere else.  Now my husband ONLY wants my moms stuffing.*


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## Keesha (Nov 3, 2018)

I do the traditional turkey dinner with roast potatoes and veggies gravy ( from pan drippings :yes: ) and cranberry sauce. Served with either pumpkin or apple pie with ice cream. Since I’m celiac I usually make my own cake or something. 
We already had our thanksgiving but Happy Thanksgiving to you all. I hope it’s fun and memorable for you. 

I used to know a woman like you Ronni , when I was younger. My brothers girlfriends mother used to invite us all in to eat if we wanted to. She was the coolest, nicest mom ever. There was always homemade cookies.


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## moviequeen1 (Nov 4, 2018)

Every year I  usually fly to be with my brother&sister in law,my 4 nieces&nephews  thanksgiving,stay a couple days.He lives in Rye,NY{burb of NYC}
I won't be going this yr don't feel up to it.John is disappointed but understands


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## jujube (Nov 6, 2018)

As a kid, we'd go to my grandparents' house for Thanksgiving Dinner, which was always at 1:00.  My grandmother would make enough dishes to feed a battalion of hungry soldiers and would set the table beautifully with the "good" china, crystal and silverware. 

After stuffing ourselves to bursting, everyone would go take a  nap.  My dad always got the couch and the rest of us draped ourselves on whatever bed or chaise lounge was available.  After that, an afternoon of TV watching would set in.  For some reason, the local TV station would ALWAYS play King Kong and The Wizard of Oz.  I don't know which one scared me more....the big ape or the flying monkeys.  Confession: the flying monkeys STILL skeeve me out.  

Finally, hard as it was to believe ("I'M NEVER GOING TO EAT AGAIN!!!), the leftovers were brought out and we fell on them like a flood of army ants.


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## Dixie48445 (Nov 7, 2018)

Hi.  I'm brand new to this forum and looking for advice about Thanksgiving.

My family has always gone to my mothers house that day.  My dad died last year and after much hemming and hawing, I volunteered and had all 13 family members over to my two bedroom apartment for dinner.

A little bit of background.  I "retired" after being laid off and not being able to find another job.  I have an adult disabled son that still lives me and a ten year old car that is constant need of repairs.  I'm trying to say that I am not well off and live retirement check to retirement check.  I have three brothers that live locally.  Two of them are happily married with good jobs and wives that also have good jobs.  Their children are grown and out on their own.  

Thanksgiving dinner cost me $300.00 last year.  I did all the cooking and cleaning on my own. It wasn't horrible and I'm not complaining about it too much after all I volunteered but it was stressful and it was expensive at least to my budget.  My mother who is very well off said she would help me pay for it last year and gave me $50.00.  

This year I told everyone that I would not be able to host dinner.  My tires are shot and will cost $400.00 and my son wants to continue his swimming lessons for $200.00.  He has epilepsy and is both autistic and mentally retarded.  I am not giving that up - he deserves something social in his life.  

So far all I've heard is crickets from my brothers.  My mother however is mad at me.  She said that I could host it at her house.  She's a slob and my older brother (who does not live with his wife but continues to pay all of her bills) lives there and if anything he's a bigger slob.  I'm talking hoarder-like here.  She also has a refrigerator that sours milk within two days.  I explained to her that I didn't trust her 25 year old refrigerator and didn't want to cook there.  She got very angry with me and said there was nothing wrong with it although it sits in the unsafe zone on the thermometer.  I also told her that for once in my adult life, I just wanted to stay home with my two kids and no stress.  She is welcome to come over or go with my brothers it was up to her.  She is making me feel like if Thanksgiving doesn't happen this year that it is my fault and the fact that I haven't heard from my brothers is making it worse.   

I also want to mention that I am not her favorite child and never have been and don't get why it has to be me.  All my life I've felt something being the only girl and it's always been that I've been expected to do what is traditionally expected of females and my brothers aren't.  Any advice?


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## Aunt Bea (Nov 7, 2018)

Dixie48445 said:


> Hi.  I'm brand new to this forum and looking for advice about Thanksgiving.
> 
> My family has always gone to my mothers house that day.  My dad died last year and after much hemming and hawing, I volunteered and had all 13 family members over to my two bedroom apartment for dinner.
> 
> ...


You could stick to your guns and stay home with your son.

Roast a turkey and invite/assign everyone to bring a dish to pass.

Go Dutch Treat to a local restaurant and leave the work to someone else.

or you could be the martyr and host Thanksgiving dinner the way you did last year.

Welcome to SF, good luck to you and your family!


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## Ronni (Nov 7, 2018)

jujube said:


> I always defrost my turkey in the dryer.  Does the double duty of defrosting and tenderizing.   I just tell everyone it's my tribal drumming group practicing out in the garage.  They're getting suspicious, though.



I don't know why this reminded me, but it did.  My brother's wife (passed away a few years ago now) was german. She had a very quaint way of speaking, and would sometimes mis-use the english language.  One of my favorite things is she'd refer to "de-thawing" the turkey (or whatever else was frozen)   No matter how many times she was corrected, she couldn't seem to grasp that "thawing" was the correct word.  Frozen things were always de-thawed.  Cracked me up every time!


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## RadishRose (Nov 7, 2018)

Welcome Dixie-

My advice is to *not* host the family for Thanksgiving. Let your brothers do it. You can justify this by telling the truth- you did it last year, now someone else can take a turn, and offer to bring a pie.

As for your mother- I wouldn't set foot in her house. You can have her over to your house for visits, but stay out of her pig sty.

Don't worry, they'll all get over it.


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## AprilSun (Nov 7, 2018)

Dixie48445, I wouldn't do it. You did it last time and it's time for someone else to do it. If you do it again this year, they may expect you to do it every year. You have to take care of yourself and your family first. They're not going to help you take care of them! Your brothers have wives, so let them take their turn and don't give in to doing it this year.


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## ClassicRockr (Nov 7, 2018)

Last couple of years we have cooked Thanksgiving Dinner at home, but not this year. We will be making reservations at Cracker Barrel. We did eat a couple of years at Mimi's Cafe, but we both got sick when we got home. Don't know what caused it, but no more Mimi's for us at Thanksgiving. We love going there for Saturday or Sunday breakfast and a Bloody Mary to boot. 

Last time we had Thanksgiving with any member of my wife's family was the first Thanksgiving we spent in Colorado in 2002. Wife's sister flew in and had a Time Share in Silverthorne (in the mountains off of I-70 next to Dillon Lake). We drove up and helped her us cook up a nice Thanksgiving Dinner. Spent two days there and went to Dillon Lake, Frisco and Breckenridge Ski Resort. On Thanksgiving night, a snowstorm hit where the Time Share was and boy did the snow come down.........we loved it. On Saturday, we brought her sister back down to our apartment and took her to Sportsman's Warehouse. She loved the place. 

Before we left So California to move to Colorado, my wife's family would get together for Thanksgiving and Christmas. It was wonderful. But, after we moved, only her sister came to visit us in Colorado. Both wife and I agreed on one phrase "oh well, we miss them, but......"

This will be our last Thanksgiving in Florida (thank God).


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## jujube (Nov 7, 2018)

Dixie48445 said:


> Hi.  I'm brand new to this forum and looking for advice about Thanksgiving.
> 
> My family has always gone to my mothers house that day.  My dad died last year and after much hemming and hawing, I volunteered and had all 13 family members over to my two bedroom apartment for dinner.
> 
> ...



First of all, welcome to the forum, Dixie!  

There's no winning in this Thanksgiving situation, Dixie, so you have to take the solution with the least casualties.  I like the idea of Thanksgiving dinner at a restaurant, Dutch Treat.   Second would be dinner at one of your brothers' houses (it's their turn).  Waaaay down the list would be dinner at your mom's ("would you like another serving of ptomaine?").  

Stand fast, dear, and do what's right for you and your kids.


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## Lara (Nov 7, 2018)

Hi Dixie. Welcome. I feel for your mother. Maybe she's not a "slob". Maybe she has a mental disorder and can't help it. I do however agree that her place does not sound like it would receive a very good sanitation score and therefore it wouldn't be healthy to be cooking and serving Thanksgiving there. She sounds sensitive and hurt that you don't approve but she also probably knows that you're right. 

Maybe you could take her some fresh flowers, apologize for any critical remarks you may have made, and tell her you've got a new and unique idea for celebrating Thanksgiving with the whole family. 

I don't know your location or weather but if it's possible to have a potluck-style picnic in a nearby park, you could push 2 picnic tables together end-to-end, cover with a couple of tablecloths from home or dollar store disposable tablecloth, set a cornucopia of fresh fruit or homemade flower arrangement in the center (made of pine-cones, evergreens, and a few fresh sunflowers from the store or pumpkins). Make it low and long so guests can see over it to talk. If it's a little breezy, weight everything down with pretty handpainted rocks.

Then, after clean-up, take a family walk down a nice path in the park. Play frisbee, hula hoops, soccer, bubble-blowing, etc with the kids.

Before going home, hold hands together in a circle and say a prayer of gratitude or sing a familiar song the whole family knows. Or have each person say what their grateful for. Mention your gratitude for your mother as she's the "matriarch" of the family and deserves respect for that even though she's lost her way in life a little.

Happy Thanksgiving


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## RadishRose (Nov 7, 2018)

All of these alternatives are great, but why is it up to Dixie to make the suggestions? I mean, who put her in charge? 

Dixie are you yourself, assuming responsibility here? If so, that's fine but if they don't go for your suggestions, don't feel bad.

I think we all know that hoarders and people who allow bacteria in their homes and food have an illness.


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## Lara (Nov 7, 2018)

RadishRose said:


> ...but why is it up to Dixie to make the suggestions? I mean, who put her in charge? Dixie are you yourself, assuming responsibility here? If so, that's fine but if they don't go for your suggestions, don't feel bad...


It happens in many families where one person has a gift of being a caregiver, a selfless helper, a peacemaker, and a healer. Others kind of take advantage of that unknowingly or knowingly. And sometimes, the one being used doesn't look at it that way since that's their gift. They enjoy helping others for the most part...unless their efforts aren't appreciated or respected or supported at all.


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## RadishRose (Nov 7, 2018)

I agree, Lara, and we know good souls like this. I just hate to see people low on funds as it is, being taken advantage of, as what sounds like is being suggested here.

Wishing you well Dixie, whatever you choose to do. Only you really know


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## GeorgiaXplant (Nov 10, 2018)

Ronni said:


> I don't know why this reminded me, but it did.  My brother's wife (passed away a few years ago now) was german. She had a very quaint way of speaking, and would sometimes mis-use the english language.  One of my favorite things is she'd refer to "de-thawing" the turkey (or whatever else was frozen)   No matter how many times she was corrected, she couldn't seem to grasp that "thawing" was the correct word.  Frozen things were always de-thawed.  Cracked me up every time!



Yoopers say "unthaw."  Well. Okay. I'm a Yooper and don't say unthaw. My mother, not to mention my grandmothers and aunts, would have raised their eyebrows, then corrected me on the spot!


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## Uptosnuff (Nov 11, 2018)

Holidays certainly evolve and change over the years.  Especially after your parents pass.  All of my siblings and my husband's siblings have their own traditions with their own families now and we seldom get together anymore.  However, this Thanksgiving my sister, my daughter and I are going to one of the casino's buffet.  My hubby has to work and my sister's family apparently doesn't want her with them. So it will be our small party with a bunch of strangers around us.  This is the first time I've eaten at a casino for a holiday.  I'm not sure how this will work out, but I guess it's better than just sitting at home.  We will have a small Thanksgiving Friday with hubby.


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