# For Those of You Who've Had Very Serious Depression!!



## Ruthanne (Apr 5, 2022)

I know it's been really really hard because I've experienced it too for oh so many years...more than I want to count but a very long time.

I only felt the negativity in life, and people I knew only added to it with nothing positive most of the time, I had so many negative experiences too I couldn't stop thinking of them, and all in all  it led to a very negative feeling life and chemistry of my mind, too.

I have since been taking a good antidepressant and have been schooled on how balancing the mind with both negative and positive things really helps a person.

I try and keep on trying and sometimes I win and sometimes I don't but I keep on getting back to basics and look for the good in things in life.

All your thoughts and experiences are appreciated.  If you never had depression this thread may not be for you, sorry.


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## Pepper (Apr 5, 2022)

I have an innate sadness that even with joyous moments never truly leaves me.


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## Ruthanne (Apr 5, 2022)

Pepper said:


> I have an innate sadness that even with joyous moments never truly leaves me.


I'm sorry but can relate.  The world is a hard place to live without sadness.


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## Pinky (Apr 5, 2022)

With therapy and the right meds, I have been in a very good place now, for a decade or so.
Now and then, the past comes creeping back, but I push it out, and think more positive thoughts.
That may not work for others, but it works for me.

All the best to others who suffer from depression. Sometimes, we all need a helping hand.


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## Ruthanne (Apr 5, 2022)

Pinky said:


> With therapy and the right meds, I have been in a very good place now, for a decade or so.
> Now and then, the past comes creeping back, but I push it out, and think more positive thoughts.
> That may not work for others, but it works for me.
> 
> All the best to others who suffer from depression. Sometimes, we all need a helping hand.


I  agree


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## Bellbird (Apr 5, 2022)

I have had depression since I was a school kid, (not  good home life) through out my life. for one reason or another.  I have often wondered what my ancestors got up to, I read somewhere that their sins would come back to haunt the living. I don't believe in it really, but it does come back to me when I'm having a 'dark' day. Thank goodness for modern medicine.


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## Remy (Apr 5, 2022)

I'm not taking antidepressants. Probably should. Since I was an abused child, I don't know how much of my depression, glass half full, always worried, etc. is from trauma or my brain chemistry.

Not that I'm not grateful for things. My mind does tend to dwell on the negative and I too have too many bad memories. And I really have no true support.


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## Della (Apr 5, 2022)

I had  a short spell of it the year I quit smoking and soon after something really bad happened in my life.  The bad thing plus the lack of my usual coping method and the change in brain chemistry with the missing nicotine sent me into a very dark place.  I was also living in England at the time with no friends or family around.  

Time passed and everything got better, but that experience made me forever deeply sympathetic to those of you who have a chronic tendency toward depression.  Sending hugs to all of you.


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## dseag2 (Apr 5, 2022)

I went through severe depression 17 years ago.  Many misinterpret depression as severe sadness.  It also involves anxiousness and the unwillingness to perform everyday tasks.  

I didn't want to get out of bed.  I dreaded going into work because I also had anxiety.  I lost a lot of weight and was always nervous.  My depression was due to Body Dysmorphic Disorder so every time I passed a mirror I had panic attacks.  

I went to a great therapist who took me back to my 9 year-old self.  I had all those memories bottled up and just bawled when I recalled them.  I have been on anti-depressants since then, but Cognitive Behavioral Therapy has really been the therapy that has seen me through this.  I have spent days without the anti-depressants and have been fine.  When we learn to truly know what makes us tick it can all be okay!


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## peramangkelder (Apr 6, 2022)

Depression and I are old....I was almost going to say friends but Depression and I are old adversaries


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## Della (Apr 6, 2022)

dseag2 said:


> I went to a great therapist who took me back to my 9 year-old self.  I had all those memories bottled up and just bawled when I recalled them.  I have been on anti-depressants since then, but Cognitive Behavioral Therapy has really been the therapy that has seen me through this.  I have spent days without the anti-depressants and have been fine.  When we learn to truly know what makes us tick it can all be okay!


Cognitive Behavior Therapy was what helped me most, too.  I had anticipatory anxiety so bad that I would start to panic every time the phone would ring and if I had to call back to the states to see how things were going I would start to shake.  Those little behavior tricks of logging and rating my fears really helped me start to regain a sense of control.


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## JonSR77 (Apr 6, 2022)

Ruthanne said:


> I know it's been really really hard because I've experienced it too for oh so many years...more than I want to count but a very long time.
> 
> I only felt the negativity in life, and people I knew only added to it with nothing positive most of the time, I had so many negative experiences too I couldn't stop thinking of them, and all in all  it led to a very negative feeling life and chemistry of my mind, too.
> 
> ...


I suffer with depression also. Thank you for having the courage to share your experiences with us. I am sure that the two of us are not the only ones dealing with these issues.

I do counseling.  I also do meditation, Hatha Yoga relaxation...and Lindt dark chocolate truffles


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## JonSR77 (Apr 6, 2022)

Remy said:


> I'm not taking antidepressants. Probably should. Since I was an abused child, I don't know how much of my depression, glass half full, always worried, etc. is from trauma or my brain chemistry.
> 
> Not that I'm not grateful for things. My mind does tend to dwell on the negative and I too have too many bad memories. And I really have no true support.


sorry about the problems.  I also come from an abuse background.  I do therapy.  Definitely helped me to not only concentrate on the depression issues, but PTSD issues from the abuse.


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## JonSR77 (Apr 6, 2022)

Della said:


> Cognitive Behavior Therapy was what helped me most, too.  I had anticipatory anxiety so bad that I would start to panic every time the phone would ring and if I had to call back to the states to see how things were going I would start to shake.  Those little behavior tricks of logging and rating my fears really helped me start to regain a sense of control.



In the early days of my issues, I had panic attacks (I was a violent crime victim).  The thing that arrested the panic attacks was work with breathing exercises from Hatha Yoga.  And, you know, quite A LOT of hard work with them.  The panic attacks did not surrender easily, but eventually they did surrender entirely.


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## MickaC (Apr 6, 2022)

@Ruthanne 
THANK YOU for starting this thread.
I too, live with serious depression.......for almost half of my life. to put it simply.......it just sucks.
I will be posting more.
Thank you to all who are sharing.


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## Paco Dennis (Apr 6, 2022)

About 15 years ago I experienced several very traumatic events and became severally depressed.  I tried many things and talked to many people about what I should do until I decided to go to a Physician. Since then I have been stuck at 40 mg Anti-Depressant ( Citalopram ) and 1.75mg Benzodiazapine  ( Clonazepam ). It is as far as I can tapper before I reach feeling withdrawl symptoms. It is the worse stuff I have ever taken and about 1/2 the population is on an Anti-Depressant. I think back then in 2007 the Medical and Pharma Industries needed a fix to the opioid crisis and the the AD's were over prescribed. I have developed chronic IBS because it messes with digestion. For about 2 years I switched to a Keto diet and use Medical Marijuana for the IBS symptoms. Somedays are better than others.


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## JonSR77 (Apr 6, 2022)

Paco Dennis said:


> About 15 years ago I experienced several very traumatic events and became severally depressed.  I tried many things and talked to many people about what I should do until I decided to go to a Physician. Since then I have been stuck at 40 mg Anti-Depressant ( Citalopram ) and 1.75mg Benzodiazapine  ( Clonazepam ). It is as far as I can tapper before I reach feeling withdrawl symptoms. It is the worse stuff I have ever taken and about 1/2 the population is on an Anti-Depressant. I think back then in 2007 the Medical and Pharma Industries needed a fix to the opioid crisis and the the AD's were over prescribed. I have developed chronic IBS because it messes with digestion. For about 2 years I switched to a Keto diet and use Medical Marijuana for the IBS symptoms. Somedays are better than others.


very sorry about the difficulties.

I was a violent crime victim. Long story. Kidnapped. Held. Escaped, but lunatic goons remained threatening presence in my life.


So, I have PTSD. Strongly recommend doing directed treatment for the PTSD in addition to whatever is going on with the depression.

PTSD goes to that amygdala - fight or flight lizard brain. Brain just gets wired wrong, jumps to trains of anxiety or depression. 

And directed work on the triggers, etc. is different than therapy for depression.


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## Jan14 (Apr 6, 2022)

Traumatic life events and chronic health issues have sent me down a road of depression and anxiety.   My Primary Care Doc has help a lot with Meds.  It’s interesting some one mentioned they can cause IBS.   I get these horrendous flare ups also have not heard them connected to antidepressants.


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## JonSR77 (Apr 6, 2022)

Jan14 said:


> Traumatic life events and chronic health issues have sent me down a road of depression and anxiety.   My Primary Care Doc has help a lot with Meds.  It’s interesting some one mentioned they can cause IBS.   I get these horrendous flare ups also have not heard them connected to antidepressants.



Most opiods mess with digestion.

Very common.

from the Mayo Clinic...

Mayo Clinic Minute: Opioids can cause gut problems

“We know that about 40 to 80 percent of people who receive opioids develop GI symptoms, and the most common GI symptom is constipation,” says Dr. Camilleri.​

https://newsnetwork.mayoclinic.org/...ow that about 40,it can be very uncomfortable.


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## Paco Dennis (Apr 6, 2022)

Jan14 said:


> Traumatic life events and chronic health issues have sent me down a road of depression and anxiety.   My Primary Care Doc has help a lot with Meds.  It’s interesting some one mentioned they can cause IBS.   I get these horrendous flare ups also *have not heard them connected to antidepressants.*


Hal2022 says :

_"Why do antidepressants cause bowel problems?


*The serotonin system may be involved, or perhaps a neuropathy linked to sensory fibers in the stomach, or it may involve disruption of autonomic muscle function that is crucial for normal digestive functioning*."_


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## Pinky (Apr 6, 2022)

I've never suffered from constipation due to my meds, but maybe having cereal for breakfast every morning, helps?


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## Nathan (Apr 6, 2022)

Ruthanne said:


> All your thoughts and experiences are appreciated.  If you never had depression this thread may not be for you, sorry.


Actually @Ruthanne ,  I think this thread is_ exactly _what those who have/are experiencing depression need.  Some very relevant / heart rendering /informative posts here, thanks to all for sharing.


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## oldman (Apr 6, 2022)

I experience seasonal depression around the holidays. I really miss my parents and those holidays. My Dad was Mr. Christmas. He really got into the holidays.


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## feywon (Apr 6, 2022)

peramangkelder said:


> Depression and I are old....I was almost going to say friends but Depression and I are old adversaries


Oh i get that, i've often phrased it as "I've *battled* depression most of my life."


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## feywon (Apr 6, 2022)

Nathan said:


> Actually @Ruthanne ,  I think this thread is_ exactly _what those who have/are experiencing depression need.  Some very relevant / heart rendering /informative posts here, thanks to all for sharing.


I think those who have not experienced it might benefit from reading the posts as well:
Seeing the different ways it can manifest, the different strategies used to manage it just might help non-sufferers have some understanding of the issue. Most people know or have known someone who has experienced it whether they realize it or not. (Because as Robin Williams once said people don't pretend to be depressed, they pretend to be 'fine'.)


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## feywon (Apr 6, 2022)

oldman said:


> I experience seasonal depression around the holidays. I really miss my parents and those holidays. My Dad was Mr. Christmas. He really got into the holidays.


That was my Mom---she was like a kid the whole fall holiday season --- Halloween thru New Year's. 
The first year after she died in 1985 was really hard.


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## Nathan (Apr 6, 2022)

I'm no stranger to A&D, have had periods in my life that were plagued with both.   In recent times I was getting a handle on, and taking steps to manage my mood, then I lost my daughter a couple months back.  Accepting the burden rather than resisting, not trying to hide from it, pacing myself in my daily pursuits, staying conscious of my eating, insuring that I don't attempt to embrace compulsive behaviors to "compensate".
I'm been informally self-teaching CBT concepts, although I'd prefer professional guidance.  About a year ago I had a phone counselling session, which was all that was available during the Covid lockdown.  Perhaps I'll re-visit my health care providers mental health services, hopefully get an in-person appointment.     Exercise helps tremendously as a mood elevator, plus it helps balance out all your neurological functions.


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## Remy (Apr 6, 2022)

JonSR77 said:


> sorry about the problems.  I also come from an abuse background.  I do therapy.  Definitely helped me to not only concentrate on the depression issues, but PTSD issues from the abuse.


I'm sorry for you going through that also. Many people have no idea the effects of childhood abuse. You don't turn 18 and just get over it. We were developing human beings and helpless children.


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## Remy (Apr 6, 2022)

oldman said:


> I experience seasonal depression around the holidays. I really miss my parents and those holidays. My Dad was Mr. Christmas. He really got into the holidays.


I can imagine. It's good that you at least have those memories, even if it's difficult now.

We didn't have holidays growing up. My mother put a stop to going to celebrations with my stepfather's family. I've since learned that isolating is a big borderline go to. Took me years but I finally started to buy decorations just a few years ago at thrift stores. I don't do a tree but I hang ornaments on the wall or put glass ones in bowls.


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## charry (Apr 6, 2022)

I know I am depressed , but I also know why I am  depressed ….
so i have to sort this myself ……..


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## feywon (Apr 6, 2022)

This is going to be one of my long ones folks.  As anyone reading the responseS here can see there are different forms of Depression, and different causes.
i have battled depression since i was 11 years old. After my parents split up. Situational depression. But it may have been inevitable i'd have some form and degree of it.

i once filled out a questionnaire in a psychology book about factors that play into it. There was no doubt that 4 of the 5 main factors were at play in my life including possible Genetics and modeling. Both parents had difficult childhoods and tended toward pessimistic views of life tho they had their moments of joy. i also have SAD, Seasonal Affective Disorder which has to do with how much full spectrum light you get. Living in Climates with frequently overcast skies (whether from natural weather or urban smog) can contribute to depression. Stormy days don't impact me much if there is actual precipitation resulting but the days on end of grey skies (as in NJ when Mom moved me north) that get to me. Another reason living in dry rural climate good for me.

i can't recall all the ones now, just that the only one i was unsure if i had is the 'chemical imbalance'. However, they've yet to develop a physical test that can confirm that, what is more last info i've seen---they can't be entirely sure that the imbalance is spontaneous and pre-existing from birth, or if life events impact the chemical balance. Given what they have verified about the brain---i'd tend to think that our lives impact the brain. That doesn't mean that meds can't help, temporarily or long term. That is a choice each person needs to make for themselves. Actor, writer, blogger Wil Wheaton of Star Trek has been a really good spokesman and advocate as he suffers both anxiety and depression. He encourages those who do take meds (like himself) to be sure they are completely honest with their provider about any negative side effects or feelings it isn't help enough.

For myself i couldn't go that route. 1) i tend to get anomalous reactions to even OTC meds. 2) i had a sister who was diagnosed as Schizoid while in the Navy. i was 13 at the time. Her almost zombie like demeanor and one statement she made made me very leery of psychotropic meds. As the years passed things came to light that she may have been misdiagnosed or worse (story for another time). Two of us four sisters have studied psych and we both came to feel that if anything she had a Disassociative Disorder. Docs claimed she talked in 'word salad', but  i generally knew what she was trying express.

The upsetting statement? A new patient down the hall was screaming. My sister looked at me and said: 'She's doing what all of us here are doing on the inside, we'd scream aloud if we could.' That experience of visiting her was also why tho i open to talk therapy i was resistant to hospitalization as well as meds, even when i had spells of the depression immobilizing me for short periods.


So...i self medicated with alcohol for most of my suicidal years. (first attempt at 13, lastone just months shy of 28) but not on a daily basis--a couple of times a year i'd drink enough to close the thought machine down for night so i didn't even dream. Once i started getting a handle on it i used meditation as sleep aid on most nights and only at times of added 'situational' issues (like a divorce, grieving a death) would i use a pill form sleep aid for a night or two because if i could get good sleep i could get a grip. Always surprised me how quick and willing most docs were to want to prescribe both sleep aids and anti-depressants long term. Also bothers me how many GP's do not pay attention to other meds with a side-effect of 'suicidal ideation' and will prescribe them to people like me who have made clear they have a history with depression and suicidal ideation.

What did i use instead of meds, because it has never totally left me?
Depends on the trigger:
When situational i apply my problem solving skills to resolve things, disarm the trigger as it were.
When SAD related, i try to give myself the same compassion i give others. i don't demand more than basics of myself if it extends more than day or two. Also remind myself it is temporary.
Fear and worry over state of world---i search out stories that provide hope and balance.
When grief-related (happening more often as those both i and loved ones age)--i actually face it, full on *feel* it. i spent of lot of my life suppressing my feelings (usually to spare others' feelings). Not healthy.  i finally learned that *for me* the best way move on in spite of bad feelings is to identify them and feel them fully.

i've been 'Dawn Patrol' for people contemplating suicide. i've talked with family of suicidal people trying to help them understand. My first instinct is usually to try and help/uplift people--that's doesn't mean being a Pollyanna or toxically positive (yes there is such thing). It means meeting them where they are and helping them develop tools for dealing with their triggers. It means reassuring people at their most vulnerable then helping deal with their problems when their ready.

Also i've talked elsewhere about the benefits of my NDE. For one thing it made clear that while we can exit this reality, we cannot exit consciousness.  As one of A. A. Milne's "Pooh" characters said 'Where ever you go, there you are'.  We can leave these bodies behind but not ourselves.  But it also gave me some clues to coming to terms with this individual life and  becoming the enduring self/soul/consciousness i want to be.


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## feywon (Apr 6, 2022)

Remy said:


> I'm sorry for you going through that also. Many people have no idea the effects of childhood abuse. You don't turn 18 and just get over it. We were developing human beings and helpless children.


This is so true.  My 3 half sisters had it so much worse than i.  Removed from their mother's care at early ages, spent a number of years in Children's Home with rampant bullying, physical abuse and ****** abuse.  Then when taken from there came to Dad who had a new wife and toddler me.  Both Dad and my Mom knew the girls had suffered if not all the details, but in those days (1947 into mid 1950s) there was not as much info available to public about helping kids with such issue---and no professional help available if you were poor like us.   

But then both my parents had experienced difficult childhoods, too so they were hurting a lot themselves.


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## Remy (Apr 6, 2022)

I'm so sorry @feywon I wonder how much help is even available today. Abused children are so conditioned. I never said anything about my childhood to anyone until I was in my mid 30's. It was a co-worker.

I have a brother 11 years older than me. He didn't go through what my other brother and I went through because my mother didn't go nuts until she married my stepfather when I was 7. My oldest brother was out of the house almost immediately then. He knew of the screaming and rages. But I know now, he didn't understand the true gravity. I never told him many, many things. My mother disowned him when I was in high school for the crime of still having contact with our bio-dad. She couldn't stand that. Yet he had every right to be.


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## ohioboy (Apr 6, 2022)

Depression is like:

Inside a glove with five thumbs.
The bread of life with moldy crumbs.
A naked puppet on strings of fire.
Lustful thoughts without desire.

Dante's Hell and Milton's tale.
Swallowed up by Jonah's whale.
A prize fighter without a punch.
A one leg man without a crutch.

Despair and delusion leech my name,
Numbness, voidness forever reign.
No brave wave patterns, comatose.
Paranoid injections, overdose.

Rigor mortis, yet still alive.
Post mortem colors but have not died.
Embalmed in life, awaiting death.
Suffocate, strangled with every breath.

Quite pointless to attempt progression.
Nearing the final dreadful end, Depression!
Whatever will be will certainly be ----
Though quite unfortunate for me!


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## Mitch86 (Apr 6, 2022)

Simple solution for depression without resorting to witch doctors (psychiatrists): simply say or think this prayer at least six times every day: God grant me the Serenity to ACCEPT the things I cannot change,  the courage and energy to change the things I can change, and the Wisdom to know the difference.


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## MickaC (Apr 6, 2022)

Mitch86 said:


> Simple solution for depression without resorting to witch doctors (psychiatrists): simply say or think this prayer at least six times every day: God grant me the Serenity to ACCEPT the things I cannot change,  the courage and energy to change the things I can change, and the Wisdom to know the difference.


I think this prayer is in all of our minds....throughout our life.


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## MickaC (Apr 6, 2022)

I take 240mg of antidepressants daily, and a prescribed sleeping aid at nite.
The meds consist of 180mg of Amitriptyline.......60mg of Citalopram......Zopiclone at nite.
Depression for me is not hereditary, nor any kind of chemical imbalance.
Cause.......2nd marriage.......28 year nightmare.
My thought was, once I ended the nitemare, I could scale off the meds......I was wrong.
Damage was done......it remains......my system needs the meds to be able to continue functioning.
If I would have stayed, ending my life would have been reality.


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## Pinky (Apr 6, 2022)

I've done well on 12 mg. of anti-depressants for the past decade or so. I was taking a smaller dose for a few years. My depression, I believe, is hereditary. Also, childhood family dysfunction certainly comes into play. My 2nd marriage didn't help. However, group counseling helped a fair bit.

For those who have untreated depression - there is help out there. Your doctor should be able to help you, and there are resources online.


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## FastTrax (Apr 6, 2022)

peramangkelder said:


> Depression and I are old....I was almost going to say friends but Depression and I are old adversaries



Where have you been?????????????????????? Do you know you have been on the SF-MIA thread for many moons? So how are you? How's Casey Jones doing?


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## hollydolly (Apr 6, 2022)

FastTrax said:


> Where have you been?????????????????????? Do you know you have been on the SF-MIA thread for many moons? So how are you? How's Casey Jones doing?


you've not been paying attention mi chico... Pera has been posting regularly but just not too often....roughly every couple of weeks recently..


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## MickaC (Apr 7, 2022)

MickaC said:


> I take 240mg of antidepressants daily, and a prescribed sleeping aid at nite.
> The meds consist of 180mg of Amitriptyline.......60mg of Citalopram......Zopiclone at nite.
> Depression for me is not hereditary, nor any kind of chemical imbalance.
> Cause.......2nd marriage.......28 year nightmare.
> ...


I deleted the last part of this post......I worded part of it in a way I felt should not have been worded the way I did. Sorry.


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## Ruthanne (Apr 7, 2022)

MickaC said:


> I deleted the last part of this post......I worded part of it in a way I felt should not have been worded the way I did. Sorry.


That's quite okay, no need to apologize.


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## Ruthanne (Apr 7, 2022)

Pinky said:


> I've done well on 12 mg. of anti-depressants for the past decade or so. I was taking a smaller dose for a few years. My depression, I believe, is hereditary. Also, childhood family dysfunction certainly comes into play. My 2nd marriage didn't help. However, group counseling helped a fair bit.
> 
> For those who have untreated depression - there is help out there. Your doctor should be able to help you, and there are resources online.


I take 40 mg. antidepressant.  It seems to be working for me at this point.  I think it runs in my family, too, my mother had it as well as my brother and sister.  

I know untreated depression can make a person feel helpless and hopeless but there really is help  for it.  I'm proof of that too.  I felt awful for a very long time.  Not anymore for the most part.


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## carouselsilver (Apr 7, 2022)

Paco Dennis said:


> For about 2 years I switched to a Keto diet and use Medical Marijuana for the IBS symptoms. Somedays are better than others.


I have read about diet changes being a major factor in relieving depression! I also discovered a natural remedy called 5HTP which is amazingly effective. I suffered from depression since childhood abuse, and other trauma in young adulthood. I am not advocating any special treatment, just threw that in there about the 5HTP. 

I have had counseling, medication, medical marijuana, etc. I find that one thing that can trigger depression, surprisingly, is white sugar. All my life I have used sugar as my "drug of choice." After joining a support group I gained a lot more control over it.


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## carouselsilver (Apr 7, 2022)

Jan14 said:


> Traumatic life events and chronic health issues have sent me down a road of depression and anxiety.   My Primary Care Doc has help a lot with Meds.  It’s interesting some one mentioned they can cause IBS.   I get these horrendous flare ups also have not heard them connected to antidepressants.


I had one antidepressant cause severe bowel issues, so yes, they can do that, unfortunately.


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## Ruthanne (Apr 7, 2022)

carouselsilver said:


> I have read about diet changes being a major factor in relieving depression! I also discovered a natural remedy called 5HTP which is amazingly effective. I suffered from depression since childhood abuse, and other trauma in young adulthood. I am not advocating any special treatment, just threw that in there about the 5HTP.
> 
> I have had counseling, medication, medical marijuana, etc. I find that one thing that can trigger depression, surprisingly, is white sugar. All my life I have used sugar as my "drug of choice." After joining a support group I gained a lot more control over it.


I used to take 5htp and it helped for some time but then I felt I needed something stronger.  I have tried many antidepressants with not many good results and bad side effects including the intestinal ones.  

The one I take now, Prozac, has worked the best for me.


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## carouselsilver (Apr 7, 2022)

Ruthanne said:


> I used to take 5htp and it helped for some time but then I felt I needed something stronger.  I have tried many antidepressants with not many good results and bad side effects including the intestinal ones.
> 
> The one I take now, Prozac, has worked the best for me.


I'm glad that you found the one that works best! I am still looking.


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## Pinky (Apr 7, 2022)

Ruthanne said:


> I used to take 5htp and it helped for some time but then I felt I needed something stronger.  I have tried many antidepressants with not many good results and bad side effects including the intestinal ones.
> 
> The one I take now, Prozac, has worked the best for me.


@Ruthanne 
For years, I wasn't on meds, because I couldn't find one that didn't make me feel like a zombie. It was while I was under hospital care, that I was finally given one I could tolerate. They gave me other meds that were a bad fit. Third time, lucky .. sometimes we just have to persevere.


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## Ruthanne (Apr 7, 2022)

Pinky said:


> @Ruthanne
> For years, I wasn't on meds, because I couldn't find one that didn't make me feel like a zombie. It was while I was under hospital care, that I was finally given one I could tolerate. They gave me other meds that were a bad fit. Third time, lucky .. sometimes we just have to persevere.


Perseverance is the key!


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## dseag2 (Apr 7, 2022)

When my mother was in hospice they administered Trazodone for sleep.  I am now taking it as well, and it does help me sleep, but I've also learned it was originally used as an anti-depressant.  I've been taking Lexapro for 17 years for depression.  So, I guess I am now getting multiple medications for depression.  Anyway, I feel great.


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## Ruthanne (Apr 8, 2022)

I have taken trazadone for depression and sleep many years ago.  It helped me for quite a while until it quit on me.


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## Lavinia (Apr 8, 2022)

Della said:


> I had  a short spell of it the year I quit smoking and soon after something really bad happened in my life.  The bad thing plus the lack of my usual coping method and the change in brain chemistry with the missing nicotine sent me into a very dark place.  I was also living in England at the time with no friends or family around.
> 
> Time passed and everything got better, but that experience made me forever deeply sympathetic to those of you who have a chronic tendency toward depression.  Sending hugs to all of you.


It sounds as though you had good reason to get depressed. Eventually you 'healed' and returned to normal. This is the problem with many people.....what they regard as depression is actually a perfectly normal reaction to something which has happened to them. This is not a mental health problem, in fact, there would be a problem if they were not affected in this way.


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## MickaC (Apr 8, 2022)

As Pinky had mentioned in a previous post, the past creeping back, is so true, and it's a job to push it away.....but.....one must try to do that, in order to continue with some kind of peace.

I find winters extremely hard.....being so long.....not a lot of sun.....seasonal depression.
This winter has been the hardest ever.

Am i a walking drug store?......seems my meds of 240 mg a day, is so much more than what some of you are taking.


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## Nathan (Apr 8, 2022)

carouselsilver said:


> I have read about diet changes being a major factor in relieving depression! I also discovered a natural remedy called 5HTP which is amazingly effective. I suffered from depression since childhood abuse, and other trauma in young adulthood. I am not advocating any special treatment, just threw that in there about the 5HTP.
> 
> I have had counseling, medication, medical marijuana, etc. I find that one thing that can trigger depression, surprisingly, is white sugar. All my life I have used sugar as my "drug of choice." After joining a support group I gained a lot more control over it.


I have some 5HTP on hand and take it in the morning if I wake up in an unsettled state.   Also take L-Theanine to help elevates levels of GABA, as well as serotonin and dopamine.


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## Nathan (Apr 8, 2022)

dseag2 said:


> When my mother was in hospice they administered Trazodone for sleep.  I am now taking it as well, and it does help me sleep, but I've also learned it was originally used as an anti-depressant.  I've been taking Lexapro for 17 years for depression.  So, I guess I am now getting multiple medications for depression.  Anyway, I feel great.


After treatment for Hep C my sleep (and entire being) was a hot mess, so got a script for Trazodone.  I discontinued it 5 years ago but recently requested the prescription reinstated.  It helped a bit but I again discontinued it due to nightly uncomfortable priapism, which negates any sleep benefit.


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## charry (Apr 8, 2022)

My hubby was put=straight on anti depressants as soon as he had his stroke, apparently they just do  this with stroke victims , not sure if they/are still working after 10 yrs …..


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## Jules (Apr 8, 2022)

Depression is very physical too. The expression that the whole world is on your shoulders is true.


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## Pinky (Apr 8, 2022)

Jules said:


> Depression is very physical too. The expression that the whole world is on your shoulders is true.


You are absolutely correct @Jules. Depression can manifest as Psychogenic Pain. Mine manifested as Neuropathy:
https://foxintegratedhealthcare.com...ty and stress can,cause damage to your nerves.


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## Remy (Apr 8, 2022)

I don't get traditional seasonal depression. I like winter and the cooler weather. I have lived in Washington state where it snowed. 

The drought and climate change certainly makes me feel depressed also. 

@carouselsilver I'm with you on the sugar. I really need to cut back on it which I have done before. Cravings don't last more than a few days I've found.


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## peramangkelder (Apr 10, 2022)

FastTrax said:


> Where have you been?????????????????????? Do you know you have been on the SF-MIA thread for many moons? So how are you? How's Casey Jones doing?


Hi there @FastTrax I am okay just seem to be getting older fast 
Casey Jones aka SIL is doing just fine and he seems to be enjoying his train driving except 
the necessity to wear a mask when at work is annoying to say the least
Mask mandates are supposed to end on 14th April except for public transport and anything health related 
How have you been? I do pop in here from time to time for a look see


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## FastTrax (Apr 10, 2022)

peramangkelder said:


> Hi there @FastTrax I am okay just seem to be getting older fast
> Casey Jones aka SIL is doing just fine and he seems to be enjoying his train driving except
> the necessity to wear a mask when at work is annoying to say the least
> Mask mandates are supposed to end on 14th April except for public transport and anything health related
> How have you been? I do pop in here from time to time for a look see



I'm fine. Just happy to know you are still here and Casey J. is fine too. Be blessed.


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## FastTrax (Apr 10, 2022)

hollydolly said:


> you've not been paying attention mi chico... Pera has been posting regularly but just not too often....roughly every couple of weeks recently..



Gracias mi amor, mucho gracias. Thank dios for Google Translate.


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## hollydolly (Apr 10, 2022)

FastTrax said:


> Gracias mi amor, mucho gracias. Thank dios for Google Translate.


De Nada...


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## Leann (Apr 10, 2022)

dseag2 said:


> When my mother was in hospice they administered Trazodone for sleep.  I am now taking it as well, and it does help me sleep, but I've also learned it was originally used as an anti-depressant.  I've been taking *Lexapro for 17 years for depression*.  So, I guess I am now getting multiple medications for depression.  Anyway, I feel great.


@dseag2 I've been taking a low dose of Lexapro since 2016 for anxiety and depression following the sudden death of my younger brother. The sadness was overwhelming. We were very close, dating back to our earliest days of childhood. The Lexapro took a while to work but I feel wonderful now. It hasn't dulled the wonderful memories of my brother - those will always live on in my heart.


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## Chet (Apr 10, 2022)

How can you tell if you are clinically depressed or your life is depressing? Totally joyful times I think are just fairly brief episodes compared to the rest of the time when we are just keeping on keeping on. Sometimes I think we just expect too much of life.


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## Leann (Apr 10, 2022)

Chet said:


> How can you tell if you are clinically depressed or your life is depressing? Totally joyful times I think are just fairly brief episodes compared to the rest of the time when we are just keeping on keeping on. Sometimes I think we just expect too much of life.


For me, it was a matter of getting through a day without crying, without feeling like I couldn't breathe at times. I don't know if I was diagnosed as clinically depressed but I was sad beyond measure and the medication helped.


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## carouselsilver (Apr 10, 2022)

Many times, I was depressed enough to want to end my life. I once had my stomach pumped after overdosing on my antidepressant medication. I had just miscarried my first child and had no support whatsoever, and got overwhelmed with 
postpartum depression. I am glad that I don't get that depressed anymore!


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## peramangkelder (Apr 12, 2022)

hollydolly said:


> De Nada...


Thanks for that @hollydolly


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## dseag2 (Apr 30, 2022)

Della said:


> Cognitive Behavior Therapy was what helped me most, too.  I had anticipatory anxiety so bad that I would start to panic every time the phone would ring and if I had to call back to the states to see how things were going I would start to shake.  Those little behavior tricks of logging and rating my fears really helped me start to regain a sense of control.


So, we do have something in common?  Let's put the Anita Bryant/Christianity thread behind us and realize that people are people with the same issues and interests.  I knew I liked you for some reason.  (Sorry to everyone else for resurrecting this thread.)


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## TC Steve (May 26, 2022)

Seems like this thread has gone dormant, but I'll post anyways. I've been dealing with depression most of my life. It's been really apparent the 17 years or so. 17 years ago there was an event that pushed me over the edge. I've been on multiple meds, in therapy and even tried TMS. Nothing seems to work. The last couple of years on meds were the worst. I was out of it and family and friends were worried that something drastic was wrong with me. I had dramatic weight loss and was like a zombie. After being on meds for many years with no relief I finally had enough and got off all my meds. It hasn't been easy, but I do feel.  I don't say feel better because I'm not sure I feel better, but at least I can feel. I'm learning to deal with my feelings rather than hoping a med will be the magic cure. The last few days I feel like I'm back sliding some. I hate the way it feels and I guess I'm just looking for some people with common experiences with depression. I have a supportive family and will be with them this holiday weekend. I feel for all of you that deal with depression. It sucks. God Bless!


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## Blessed (May 26, 2022)

dseag2 said:


> I went through severe depression 17 years ago.  Many misinterpret depression as severe sadness.  It also involves anxiousness and the unwillingness to perform everyday tasks.
> 
> I didn't want to get out of bed.  I dreaded going into work because I also had anxiety.  I lost a lot of weight and was always nervous.  My depression was due to Body Dysmorphic Disorder so every time I passed a mirror I had panic attacks.
> 
> I went to a great therapist who took me back to my 9 year-old self.  I had all those memories bottled up and just bawled when I recalled them.  I have been on anti-depressants since then, but Cognitive Behavioral Therapy has really been the therapy that has seen me through this.  I have spent days without the anti-depressants and have been fine.  When we learn to truly know what makes us tick it can all be okay!


Thanks for sharing that.  Depression is not just sadness, it effects every aspect of your life. Anxiety, fear, isolation, unable just to do normal everyday things.  Pile on top of that the struggle to act like nothing is wrong is just exhausting.


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## Murrmurr (May 26, 2022)

Pinky said:


> I've never suffered from constipation due to my meds, but maybe having cereal for breakfast every morning, helps?


Dates are my candy. They have to be plump, squishy Medjool dates, though. mmm


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## feywon (May 26, 2022)

TC Steve said:


> Seems like this thread has gone dormant, but I'll post anyways. I've been dealing with depression most of my life. It's been really apparent the 17 years or so. 17 years ago there was an event that pushed me over the edge. I've been on multiple meds, in therapy and even tried TMS. Nothing seems to work. The last couple of years on meds were the worst. I was out of it and family and friends were worried that something drastic was wrong with me. I had dramatic weight loss and was like a zombie. After being on meds for many years with no relief I finally had enough and got off all my meds. It hasn't been easy, but I do feel.  I don't say feel better because I'm not sure I feel better, but at least I can feel. I'm learning to deal with my feelings rather than hoping a med will be the magic cure. The last few days I feel like I'm back sliding some. I hate the way it feels and I guess I'm just looking for some people with common experiences with depression. I have a supportive family and will be with them this holiday weekend. I feel for all of you that deal with depression. It sucks. God Bless!


Glad you shared.  Sometimes talking about it with others who can empathize helps. 
For some of us Talk therapies are more helpful than meds. (Transactional, Analysis, CBT), but some need meds to stabilize them enough to focus on such.therapies and develop healthy coping strategies.  
We each have to find what works for us.


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## MickaC (May 26, 2022)

TC Steve said:


> Seems like this thread has gone dormant, but I'll post anyways. I've been dealing with depression most of my life. It's been really apparent the 17 years or so. 17 years ago there was an event that pushed me over the edge. I've been on multiple mthatds, in therapy and even tried TMS. Nothing seems to work. The last couple of years on meds were the worst. I was out of it and family and friends were worried that something drastic was wrong with me. I had dramatic weight loss and was like a zombie. After being on meds for many years with no relief I finally had enough and got off all my meds. It hasn't been easy, but I do feel.  I don't say feel better because I'm not sure I feel better, but at least I can feel. I'm learning to deal with my feelings rather than hoping a med will be the magic cure. The last few days I feel like I'm back sliding some. I hate the way it feels and I guess I'm just looking for some people with common experiences with depression. I have a supportive family and will be with them this holiday weekend. I feel for all of you that deal with depression. It sucks. God Bless!


THANK YOU for sharing.....
To all of us here dealing with that " D " word.....Sharing with each other can bring great comfort.
ENJOY your holiday weekend.


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## Paco Dennis (May 26, 2022)

As I mentioned earlier I was diagnosed with Depression and Anxiety and put on an anti-depressant and a benzodiazapine 14 years ago. I can not quit them because of side effects of withdrawal. I just found out that people are smoking benzo's with fentanyl., which is deadly. So much mental suffering has been exasperated by drugs. Alcohol, opium, tranquilizers...etc. Please if you do use a drug, be careful to use as sparingly as possible.


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## ohioboy (May 27, 2022)

"I desire the things that will destroy me in the end.”

Sylvia Plath


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## carouselsilver (May 27, 2022)

Paco Dennis said:


> As I mentioned earlier I was diagnosed with Depression and Anxiety and put on an anti-depressant and a benzodiazapine 14 years ago. I can not quit them because of side effects of withdrawal. I just found out that people are smoking benzo's with fentanyl., which is deadly. So much mental suffering has been exasperated by drugs. Alcohol, opium, tranquilizers...etc. Please if you do use a drug, be careful to use as sparingly as possible.


Sometimes I have to take benzos for an autonomic disorder, where my blood pressure can shoot sky high for no reason. Fortunately, it doesn't happen often. Benzos can calm an abnormal spike in blood pressure (not the same as continuous high blood pressure) so they are handy to have around. I am also sensitive to most drugs, so it only takes about 5 mg when that happens.


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