# Are you an extrovert or an introvert?



## Josiah (Dec 11, 2014)

I have for years berated myself for not being more socially outgoing. Although I have always been familiar with the terms introvert and extrovert, I never really associated these personality types with myself. That changed recently when I read a book entitled Quiet: The power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain. I have now so to speak come out of the closet to myself as an introvert and I've found the experience extremely liberating.


My question to the forum is how do you classify yourself as an extrovert or and introvert?


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## hollydolly (Dec 11, 2014)

Oh I am outwardly an extrovert but inwardly an introvert....don't know if anyone understands that..


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## NancyNGA (Dec 11, 2014)

hollydolly said:


> Oh I am outwardly an extrovert but inwardly an introvert....don't know if anyone understands that..



Interesting.   I would say I'm just the opposite---outwardly an introvert but inwardly an extrovert.


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## Falcon (Dec 11, 2014)

More of an extrovert but don't talk a lot unless required.....Then, I speak up.

I could never understand the saying, "The meek shall inherit the earth."


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## SeaBreeze (Dec 11, 2014)

I'm neither, just somewhere in the middle.  I am not so self-involved that I prefer to be alone all the time, but I do not always seek activities involving other people besides my husband, and I hate large crowds.  Although I'm a woman, I'm not a big chatterbox as the stereotype indicates, but I easily have little chats even with strangers in public places, when it comes naturally.  I never was or never will be a social butterfly, and that's okay with me.


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## oakapple (Dec 11, 2014)

SeaBreeze said:


> I'm neither, just somewhere in the middle. I am not so self-involved that I prefer to be alone all the time, but I do not always seek activities involving other people besides my husband, and I hate large crowds. Although I'm a woman, I'm not a big chatterbox as the stereotype indicates, but I easily have little chats even with strangers in public places, when it comes naturally. I never was or never will be a social butterfly, and that's okay with me.


Me too Seabreeze.


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## hollydolly (Dec 11, 2014)

NancyNGA said:


> Interesting.   I would say I'm just the opposite---outwardly an introvert but inwardly an extrovert.



Well I'll try and give a little of an explanation Nancy. When I was young I was very quiet and preffered my own company ,  at best people ignored me, and at worst I was bullied ( a lot). I learned that those who speak up for themselves, who are outwardly confident didn't get treated in the same way, so I learned to create a more extrovert persona in public, and sure enough it worked..not overly extrovert ( I'd rather be behind a camera than in front of it even now) .....but deep down I'm just someone who likes a quiet life, and to acquaintances and workmates  I have  a chatty confident persona


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## drifter (Dec 11, 2014)

I'm an introvert with a big, loud mouth. Wish I'd read that book years ago, Josiah, I might have avoided a troubled life.


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## Lon (Dec 11, 2014)

I have always been an extrovert.


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## NancyNGA (Dec 11, 2014)

hollydolly said:


> Well I'll try and give a little of an explanation Nancy. When I was young I was very quiet and preffered my own company ,  at best people ignored me, and at worst I was bullied ( a lot). I learned that those who speak up for themselves, who are outwardly confident didn't get treated in the same way, so I learned to create a more extrovert persona in public, and sure enough it worked..not overly extrovert ( I'd rather be behind a camera than in front of it even now) .....but deep down I'm just someone who likes a quiet life, and to acquaintances and workmates  I have  a chatty confident persona



Oh, I see now, hollydolly.  That makes sense.  I do something sort of like play-acting in public that makes me seem extroverted.  Usually only when I get rile up about something.  Also prefer to be alone a lot.  Maybe we are the same after all.


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## Pam (Dec 11, 2014)

Introvert... until  I've had a drink.


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## Cookie (Dec 11, 2014)

As the definitions go, introverts need to be alone to recharge their batteries and extroverts get energized by being with people.  

 There are times when I need to be alone to recharge and other times when I like to be with people. I like balance - time to myself and time to be with people - if possible, preferably positive upbeat people.


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## ClassicRockr (Dec 11, 2014)

I'm definitely an extrovert! I've never really like being by myself. Extrovert's are "outgoing" people and I wasn't that way years and years ago. I figured out that when I started going to nightclubs. I was being too shy to ask a lady to dance. I found out that "shy" and "reserved" type people really didn't have a very good time at a nightclub. I needed to *CHANGE *and *DID*!! Boy, let the "fun times" begin! 
Even during my "working years", I had no problem talking to people. 

Now, my wife, unlike I was, is an introvert at work. Talks very little to people. But, put a stout margarita or a couple of Bud Lights in her and she comes *ALIVE*!! When we go out for a Mexican dinner and have one or two margarita's, she will start talking to different people at tables about whatever. The people don't mind it and sometimes I will join in on the short conversation. When we go to see our favorite band, and she's had a mug of beer, "away she goes".....talking to folks. 

We both liked Square Dancing and Country dancing and definitely for extroverts!


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## Grumpy Ol' Man (Dec 11, 2014)

My wife and I would both be classified as introverts.  We have never had an active "social life".  We don't party.  We don't drink.  We don't go out to eat a lot.  We don't travel a lot.  We have always been pretty much "homebodies".

My wife works in a profession where she is around people... she can see 100 patients come through tthe doors of their large optometry practice in a day.  She knows most of them by name and spends quite a bit of time welcoming/visiting with them.  So, when she comes home, she is ready for the silence of a recliner and a good book.
I spend a lot of time on the road.  I see the inside of many, many hotel rooms.  So, when I am home I like to stay home, enjoying that warmth and comfort.  
Our almost total "social life" revolves around our children and grandchildren.  With those, we would be deemed extroverts.  My wife loves to welcome her grandkids to "her" kitchen and have them assist her in cooking and baking.  I enjoy "winding up" grandkids... getting them really wired... before sending them home to their parents.


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## Josiah (Dec 11, 2014)

Cookie said:


> As the definitions go, introverts need to be alone to recharge their batteries and extroverts get energized by being with people.
> 
> There are times when I need to be alone to recharge and other times when I like to be with people. I like balance - time to myself and time to be with people - if possible, preferably positive upbeat people.



The definition you offer is a good one. As an introvert I really need my alone time.


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## rt3 (Dec 11, 2014)

In using these terms correctly please refer to their orininator, Carl Jung,s definition. The definition has nothing to do with being talkative or the many redos by other authors to sell books. Introverts perceive the outer world as revolving around them and things that occur, do so in context to their center. Sometimes this is mistaken for self center ness. Extroverts perceive the exterior world as a many separate worlds self contained having its own set of rules. Introverts love nothing more than bursting the extroverts little bubbles, and extroverts love nothing more than yelling Its Not About You! Can,t we just all get along enough to hate each other.


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## ClassicRockr (Dec 11, 2014)

Just wondering.......if a person is single (never married) and is an introvert, how could they ever meet someone if they don't want to be single anymore. But, I'm sure there are divorced men and women out there that possibly turned into an introvert after a marriage was over. They say, "that's enough, I don't want any man or woman ever again." 

I would also classify an introvert as a loner (I think).


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## AprilT (Dec 11, 2014)

There are degrees that people fall on the scale of being an introvert, I fall somewhere on as many people do, for sure I'm not an extrovert, nor a shrinking violet, though as a child I was cringe worthy shy.  

Some are sociable introverts and some people are more reclusive types of introverts, there can be extremes.


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## Josiah (Dec 11, 2014)

ClassicRockr said:


> Just wondering.......if a person is single (never married) and is an introvert, how could they ever meet someone if they don't want to be single anymore. But, I'm sure there are divorced men and women out there that possibly turned into an introvert after a marriage was over. They say, "that's enough, I don't want any man or woman ever again."
> 
> I would also classify an introvert as a loner (I think).


Although I consider myself very much of an introvert I was able to carry on a very successful long term loving relationship with a woman who herself was decidedly introverted. I think that during the courtship period the hormones and pheromones take over and supersede other parts of your personality. That being said I remember being quite terrified by the wedding, not about prospects of getting married, but about social obligations that the ceremony itself entailed.


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## Cookie (Dec 11, 2014)

ClassicRockr said:


> Just wondering.......if a person is single (never married) and is an introvert, how could they ever meet someone if they don't want to be single anymore. But, I'm sure there are divorced men and women out there that possibly turned into an introvert after a marriage was over. They say, "that's enough, I don't want any man or woman ever again."
> 
> I would also classify an introvert as a loner (I think).



I don't think an introvert necessarily hides out at home all the time, avoiding people.  They do go out, meet people, get married and socialize and they are not necessarily loner's either, but not exactly party animals either.  I imagine they would be introspective, meaning thinking about life and things, perceiving what is happening around them and how that fits in with their world view. I've met people who seem to be afraid to be alone - always seeking something outside of themselves to focus on and distract themselves with. They often have something 'on' all the time, like the TV or radio for company.   Not that there's anything wrong with it.  

n.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extraversion_and_introversion


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## NancyNGA (Dec 11, 2014)

rt3 said:


> In using these terms correctly please refer to their orininator, Carl Jung,s definition. The definition has nothing to do with being talkative or the many redos by other authors to sell books. Introverts perceive the outer world as revolving around them and things that occur, do so in context to their center. Sometimes this is mistaken for self center ness. Extroverts perceive the exterior world as a many separate worlds self contained having its own set of rules. Introverts love nothing more than bursting the extroverts little bubbles, and extroverts love nothing more than yelling Its Not About You! Can,t we just all get along enough to hate each other.



That is very interesting, rt1!   Maybe everyone needs to rethink this now.


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## rt3 (Dec 11, 2014)

Introverts do not own introversion. Extroverts can go into themselves just as long or deep as an introvert. Either are just starting at different points on the Mandela, and will reach the same spot at some serendipity. Likewise some of the most boisterous and what is called here extroverted ---- comedians are actually introverts. So if the older members of your family have always called , pick one, they were probably wrong also. 
It is possible to explain many mental disabilities using the vert model as long as one stays within the boundaries of either Jung or Freud. If this is not done the result is a bunch of rambling crap.


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## JudyB (Dec 11, 2014)

Josiah09 said:


> I have for years berated myself for not being more socially outgoing. Although I have always been familiar with the terms introvert and extrovert, I never really associated these personality types with myself. That changed recently when I read a book entitled Quiet: The power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain. I have now so to speak come out of the closet to myself as an introvert and I've found the experience extremely liberating.
> 
> 
> My question to the forum is how do you classify yourself as an extrovert or and introvert?



I am and will always be ( i guess) an Introvert.  But i like me, whatever i am.   In reading over the posts, i would just like to add...until i've had a couple of beers.  lol


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## rt3 (Dec 11, 2014)

The terms were popular up to the times of the behavioralists,  Skinner etc. As psychology matured especially clinical they fell from formal use because people a much more complex than this. That warm fuzzy feeling you get from an experience you just had as an example. If it just seems right you tend to be more of an introvert. On the other hand, if it doesn't, because of some other world you hold dear,say string theory, you tend to be more extroverted. Note this says nothing about the analytical ability of either side, and remember the only absolute is that there are no absolutes.


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## jujube (Dec 12, 2014)

hollydolly said:


> Oh I am outwardly an extrovert but inwardly an introvert....don't know if anyone understands that..



I understand perfectly, hollydolly.  I was painfully shy as a young'un and I guess I became the class clown to overcome it.  I'm really still very shy and people don't believe me when I tell them that.   Inside my outward "life of the party" is my inward "wallflower" that is cringing and saying "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST SAID *THAT*!!!"


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## LogicsHere (Dec 13, 2014)

I'm an introvert.  Did not (and still do not) make friends easily so I would pick up a book, paper and pencil and do my own thing.


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## rt3 (Dec 13, 2014)

Perhaps you are an over compensating extrovert? Or maybe your blood sugar or thyroid is low. Perhaps your are really an extrovert who doesn't make friends easily because what they are saying doesn't fit into the many worlds of the extrovert. Damn coulda,shoulda,woulda


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## rt3 (Dec 13, 2014)

The terms are perception vs. preception. The terms are perception terms not behavioral, preception terms


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## Cookie (Dec 13, 2014)

rt3 said:


> The terms are perception vs. preception. The terms are perception terms not behavioral, preception terms



Huh, what?  lost me there Rt3


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## rt3 (Dec 13, 2014)

Introvert and extrovert do not apply to behavior, talkative, quiet etc. They apply to perception. Their failure to help with behaviorist attributes lead Watson, Skinner to found the behavioral schools of Psyc. Social preferences have nothing to do with the terms within the context of their origination. However if someone (most of the people that have responded to tis thread) want to use them in their own way, it is ok by me, and very introverted of them


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## oakapple (Dec 13, 2014)

I think Rt3 that perhaps it's better to carry on with the usual understanding of introvert and extravert.Otherwise, as you say 'it just becomes rambling crap.' How true.


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## AprilT (Dec 13, 2014)

oakapple said:


> I think Rt3 that perhaps it's better to carry on with the usual understanding of introvert and extravert.Otherwise, as you say 'it just becomes rambling crap.' How true.



Has anyone given a definitive answer to what they believe that definition is in terms all present company might understand and accept as being the usual?


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## Cookie (Dec 13, 2014)

I have the same general understanding of introvert and extravert as most people, and in the context of this forum, speak only from personal experience, not psychology textbooks.


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## rt3 (Dec 13, 2014)

It's extrovert,not extra, but iam assuming that is a tongue in cheek. 

Anticdotes and testimonials are not data, especially when the testimonial doesn't understand the definitions.

These posts are like going to a psychologists convention in San Francisco and listening to them argue whether Nash was bi-polar or a socio-path.


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## oakapple (Dec 14, 2014)

No, the extravert was a typo, a bit like your 'anticdotes' [although I like that better than anecdotes.]


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## rt3 (Dec 14, 2014)

Ok, then Nash was neither, he was a mathematician


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## oakapple (Dec 15, 2014)

rt3 said:


> Ok, then Nash was neither, he was a mathematician


  A beautiful mind !


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## rt3 (Dec 15, 2014)

Yup, and one of the first to supposition that communication contained no information, but simply a means of manipulation.

lets see what to we have to date?

if you don,t see the forest for the trees --- you are extrovert
if you don,t see the trees for the forest -----  you are introvert

if you believe that recreational drugs should be used in a group ----  it is extroverted
if you believe recreational drugs are best done in private -  it is introverted 

and if you don,t believe any of this crap you are a party pooper


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