# The silence of living alone.



## fuzzybuddy (May 7, 2019)

For over a year, I was in and out of hospitals, care facilities,and 1 home. When I go to my local ER, I can point and say,"I've been in that cubicle, that one, that one, that one, this one's my favorite". But now I'm home. What bothers me is the silence. In all those previous places, people were running around, shouting, coughing, even vomiting. Now NOTHING. I live in the sticks where you can here deer hoofs clicking on the rocks. I have to have the TV on, if I'm awake.


----------



## Beccaboo (May 7, 2019)

I know that silence and fuzzybuddy it is hard to deal with. Ever since that day on December 12, 2018 when my husband was tragically killed on the job as he was a Police officer and I realized he was never coming home and then shortly after that my youngest daughter moving out I have that silence other than the company of my Yellow Lab Finn who is a godsend. I do not know if you are able to get a pet, but having one has helped me out a lot. Last year this time I certainly was not thinking I would be living alone even though my husband and I knew my youngest would be leaving the nest. I never thought my husband would have lost his life in the line of duty. It is hard fuzzybuddy and if you can get a pet I would highly recommend it.


----------



## AZ Jim (May 7, 2019)

I hear ya.  Losing my dear wife rendered complete silence in this three bedroom two bath home. I turn on the computer and TV to break the silence.


----------



## Marie5656 (May 7, 2019)

*I am having trouble right now dealing with the solitude.  Especially since I am not going to the nursing home every day.  I am taking this week to fly under the radar for a time. But the quiet can be deafening.  I keep TV on, even when doing things around the house.  *


----------



## Pepper (May 8, 2019)

It's unbearable.  I hate it.


----------



## hollydolly (May 8, 2019)

Marie5656 said:


> *I am having trouble right now dealing with the solitude.  Especially since I am not going to the nursing home every day.  I am taking this week to fly under the radar for a time. But the quiet can be deafening.  I keep TV on, even when doing things around the house.  *


  It must be so hard for you Marie, because when your hubs was ill and in hospital, at least you still had somewhere to go to visit him and talk with him, so now not only has your husband gone but you've lost the purpose of your day  in many ways...


Big ((hugs)) to you all who are so recently bereaved!!!


----------



## hollydolly (May 8, 2019)

fuzzybuddy said:


> For over a year, I was in and out of hospitals, care facilities,and 1 home. When I go to my local ER, I can point and say,"I've been in that cubicle, that one, that one, that one, this one's my favorite". But now I'm home. What bothers me is the silence. In all those previous places, people were running around, shouting, coughing, even vomiting. Now NOTHING. I live in the sticks where you can here deer hoofs clicking on the rocks. I have to have the TV on, if I'm awake.



Perhaps we could get voice activated postings on here... .... it might  be like the tower of Babel tho',  no-one able to understand everyone's accents...


----------



## JustBonee (May 8, 2019)

Sometimes I put the TV on,  but mostly  upbeat music on the radio fills my day.  I've been doing that for years though, even before I was alone.


----------



## Rosemarie (May 8, 2019)

One of the most wonderful things about living alone is the silence. I'm a quiet person and I hate noise, either in my own home or from other people. I can't stand a tv being on all the time, doors banging, people constantly chattering.

Just shows how we are all different!


----------



## tortiecat (May 8, 2019)

I also don't mind  the silence, can't stand having a radio or 








I also don't mind the silence, can't stand having a radio or TV on unless I am actually listening
to them.  Of course, I have Callie my cat and she is very vocal, so I talk to her.
I believe that having a pet helps those who are lonely, be it a bird, cat, dog, whatever.


----------



## Victor (May 8, 2019)

I too like the silence. I don't play the television much or my numerous CDs and records. Some classical music.
No one calls me--except scammers.
Can't stand stores with soundtracks.
Rosemarie--you ere a librarian, that explains it. Are you a librarian because you like silence
or do you like silence because you were a librarian?


----------



## Leann (May 8, 2019)

I don't mind the silence. Now that it's springtime, I have the windows open and I hear the breezes rustling through the trees and the songs of the many birds that grace this area. That's what I love the most.


----------



## gennie (May 8, 2019)

I love the quiet and solitude.  I have the TV or radio on only to watch or listen to a particular program and then it is off.  To me it is noise pollution and just as annoying as litter or smog.


----------



## Babs (May 10, 2019)

I suppose I am use to living alone since I have been divorced for 50 years. I haven't been living alone for all of those years as I have had my daughter living with me for 22 of those years and then have long term relationships with men that we lived together during that time as well, but now I am just used to. While at home I pretty much always have music playing in the background to get that complete silence eliminated.


----------



## Ruth n Jersey (May 10, 2019)

I love silence. I like it so quiet I can hear my heart beat. I do like the sounds of nature. Birds chirping, rustling leaves and the sounds of an approaching thunder storm, a babbling brook. What I can't stand is the kids screaming their lungs out in the neighbors pool with the so called music blasting. Some day I'm going over there and throw the radio into the pool while they are all in there.


----------



## Trade (May 10, 2019)

fuzzybuddy said:


> I live in the sticks where you can here deer hoofs clicking on the rocks.



That sounds perfect. But then I'm an introvert.


----------



## tortiecat (May 10, 2019)

I am surprised at those who like their silence, as I do.
Living in a senior's residence I hear the TV going in many apartments
all day long. Thank goodness our apartments are pretty sound proof,
so hear very little once my door is closed.


----------



## Kris148 (May 17, 2019)

Living alone scares me. I have always hated solitude and loneliness.:distress:


----------



## Rosemarie (May 17, 2019)

Victor said:


> I too like the silence. I don't play the television much or my numerous CDs and records. Some classical music.
> No one calls me--except scammers.
> Can't stand stores with soundtracks.
> Rosemarie--you ere a librarian, that explains it. Are you a librarian because you like silence
> or do you like silence because you were a librarian?



I love being surrounded by books!


----------



## AprilSun (May 18, 2019)

I can't stand a quiet house. The only time this house is quiet is when I'm ready to go to sleep. I have the radio or the TV on all the time. A quiet house is too lonely for me.


----------



## johndoe (May 18, 2019)

I will join the prefer silence group. The problem with most noisy environments is that you can't turn it off when you want. Nature's sounds are the best as was  mentioned.


----------



## WhatInThe (May 18, 2019)

I know some who are using I need people, noise and activity as an excuse to stay out of a nursing home or retirement community. I'll admit many go into those place waiting for the end. Those people are always liked quiet always liked or appreciated quiet. I think the activity/noise gives some a sense of a family in a house in an apartment complex. I've heard some they enjoy hearing kids playing , birds, dogs or others noises from the outside world. 

I've always like the quiet to the point if I'm awake in bed I get to learn schedules wether it be someone coming or going to work or public transportation.


----------



## Kris148 (May 18, 2019)

WhatInThe said:


> I know some who are using I need people, noise and activity as an excuse to stay out of a nursing home or retirement community. I'll admit many go into those place waiting for the end. Those people are always liked quiet always liked or appreciated quiet. I think the activity/noise gives some a sense of a family in a house in an apartment complex. I've heard some they enjoy hearing kids playing , birds, dogs or others noises from the outside world.
> 
> I've always like the quiet to the point if I'm awake in bed I get to learn schedules wether it be someone coming or going to work or public transportation.


 I do like total quiet when it comes to sleepy time. That and a totally dark room.


----------



## Don M. (May 19, 2019)

I, too, like a quiet environment, but I also like some "companionship".  A few months ago, one of our granddaughters moved to a small town about 15 miles away, after she went through a divorce, and she has two daughters.  Since then, my wife, and one of the Son-in-Laws mothers, go over there on Sundays through Tuesdays, every other week, while the granddaughter is working extended shifts at an area hospital, and take care of the kids.  So, every two weeks, I have this place to myself for a couple of days.  It's kind of nice playing "bachelor" for a couple of days, but I am glad when Tues evening rolls around and my wife comes back home.  This experience has made us both a bit more appreciative of each other, and I would dread losing my wife.


----------



## Connie (May 25, 2019)

So many different thoughts. I'm more the like it quiet type. Not 24/7 365 though. I am a director of independent senior housing and folks move in that have lost a spouse, or a couple comes to live that their children are moved to their own homes etc. Gives them people to be around when they want. Maybe there are places like mine where you all live?


----------



## fancicoffee13 (May 27, 2019)

I don't like the quiet either.  I have two dogs and leave the tv on all day "for them".  I sometimes turn it off so I can focus on what I am reading.  Plus, there is no one to talk to, no one is there to give you advice or ask what you are doing.  So, that is why I came here.  Other seniors to talk to that experience the same stuff I do.  I also find that I don't like staying home.  I often take walks, as long as my knee or foot is ok.  I will also go places where there are people.  Even when I was caregiving and my husband didn't know who I was, I got on 6 forums and talked to people!  And I hate to admit it, but, my family and I aren't as close as I would like.  Texts, phone calls, aren't answered at all, or a few days later.  Oh well, I also love not having cable, I have Roku and can choose what movie or show I want to watch when I want to.  Love it.


----------



## Connie (Jun 2, 2019)

fancicoffee, sounds like you have worked around a lot of the being alone issues.  Good for you. I love to be on forums too.  This one seems really nice.  Some forums Ive been on there is just too much arguing.  Im not into that.  Its nice here.


----------



## Wild1 (Jun 10, 2019)

fuzzybuddy said:


> For over a year, I was in and out of hospitals, care facilities,and 1 home. When I go to my local ER, I can point and say,"I've been in that cubicle, that one, that one, that one, this one's my favorite". But now I'm home. What bothers me is the silence. In all those previous places, people were running around, shouting, coughing, even vomiting. Now NOTHING. I live in the sticks where you can here deer hoofs clicking on the rocks. I have to have the TV on, if I'm awake.



Fuzzy, 

Personally I love living alone and the silence (nature sounds) and I love where I live. I am in a place that is sort of rural but still have neighbors. Sometimes I wish I had more silence like what you describe but often I enjoy the occasional chat with my neighbors and it's nice having them around, we help each other out when needed and they are all fantastic people.

I am a lit little scared though for when I retire! I am a weird mix of introvert/extrovert, but I am a little scared as then I get my needed dose of socializing/interacting with others at work and through activities I do, and with family. I am very close with my grandparents and parents and I probably won't have kids of my own so I am a little scared I may have a very lonely life and that could get scary as I lose my abilities as I may not have anyone to call on to help let alone keep me company like my grandparents do. But I have many hobbies and love reading and writing too. 

I see a lot of what you are describing in my Grandma (92). She lived in a neighborhood with my grandpa in a "rural, with neighbors" type setting. I think especially as she started to lose her abilities such as hearing, mobility, etc, she really started to get withdrawn and lonely, and started hearing stuff. When she moved in to AL (a move my grandpa needed as much as she did, as it wasn't safe for him (95) to really care for her anymore)... 

Whenever she would get put in the hospital she would have this spark and would come alive and be doing things with such enthusiasm she would never do at home... But I think having all the attention at hospital, and seeing other people who are also having problems put things in perspective for her and made her feel more motivated to make positive progress at her level. I don't know it could be just the noise and things goig on but at least for her, seemed to be more of a psychological element to it.

My grandma seemed to become a lot happier and more engaged and grooved right in to AL! I think it was the increased social interaction that made her feel this way. Since then unfortunately she has been going down hill with falls and whatnot, but my theory is this;

My theory is that Some people just do better with more social interaction built into their life. This may be built into it say during work, and a quiet rural setting is what they enjoy. Maybe that changes when life becomes less structured?

I know when I have been unemployed for brief periods I have gone kind of nuts and found myself feeling very down and alone when out of a job and at home during the day when it is super quiet!! That all changed when I got back to work! 

No idea on how independent you are, what you're up for or physical abilities but is picking up a very low stress part time job, or is a senior friendly volunteer option a possibility? My grandpa had a friend who volunteered at the hospital.... til he was 107! so I think they definitely would have options that would be senior friendly and accommodate varying levels of mobility too. Just some super random ideas! Especially since you liked certain things about the hospital. It may be fun for you to be in that atmosphere and seeing others and helping greet others may provide you a level of interaction that would be rewarding!


----------



## Camper6 (Jun 10, 2019)

People who can live alone and in silence could do jail time easily. I can't.


----------



## fmdog44 (Jun 11, 2019)

I would suggest joing a club of some sort but for me I would never join anything that would accept me as a member!!!


----------



## Janie (Jun 16, 2019)

I vary. Sometimes, though not often, I enjoy silence, but music is my 'thing' so enjoy listening to sounds at different times through the day.  The TV drives me nuts though, way too much depressing stuff going on in the world.
Now, if I can get my neighbours to be quiet I can enjoy silence whenever I want it lol


----------



## Repondering (Jun 16, 2019)

I'm comfortable with silence.  For three years my mother's oxygen generator was on 24/7 and that's over with now....I don't miss it.  She also liked radio talk shows and I don't miss that either.
However, when I bake every day for the farmers market Saturday sales  I usually have the kitchen TV turned on to a news channel.  Unlike Janie, the depressing news doesn't drive me nuts.
It's possible that I've become accustomed to being just a bit nuts already.


----------



## AZ Jim (Jun 16, 2019)

AprilSun said:


> I can't stand a quiet house. The only time this house is quiet is when I'm ready to go to sleep. I have the radio or the TV on all the time. A quiet house is too lonely for me.


As I am now alone (since my wife of 48 years passed), I hate silence.  I have the TV and computer going every waking hour.


----------



## AZ Jim (Jun 16, 2019)

fmdog44 said:


> I would suggest joing a club of some sort but for me I would never join anything that would accept me as a member!!!


An oldie but a goodie...Groucho Marx


----------



## Pete (Jun 22, 2019)

fuzzybuddy said:


> I live in the sticks where you can here deer hoofs clicking on the rocks. I have to have the TV on, if I'm awake.



I lived like that for 14 years but mine was self imposed because I preferred the solitary life. 
I think it is just a mater of finding something to fill the void of silence and then you should be more comfortable?


----------



## Falcon (Jun 22, 2019)

Silence  is a blessing  if I'm  trying to  read  my  book  or  newspaper.


----------



## Sunny (Jun 22, 2019)

I think we all need a balance in our lives. I enjoy the silence of my cozy little nest, but at least once a day I have to get out among people. We all need both.


----------



## fmdog44 (Jun 22, 2019)

I love silence. It tells me what death will be like. I hate surprises.


----------



## Connie (Jun 27, 2019)

I dont believe we were put on this earth to be alone.


----------



## JustBonee (Jun 29, 2019)

Connie said:


> I dont believe we were put on this earth to be alone.



Alone is something that can sneak up on you,  especially as we age   ...  having a lifetime  of  family around you,   and then one day waking up to only having yourself for company.   It happens.


----------



## Ruthanne (Jun 30, 2019)

I guess I am not really alone with my birds chattering all the time.  I also live on a busy main street where you can hear the noise of cars, motorcycles, people talking at times.  I do like to have peace and quiet at times, too, like early mornings with the tv and radio off when all my pets are sleeping.  It can be soothing for me.  But silence all the time..I don't think I'd like that much.


----------



## Uptosnuff (Jun 30, 2019)

Sunny said:


> I think we all need a balance in our lives. I enjoy the silence of my cozy little nest, but at least once a day I have to get out among people. We all need both.


I agree that we all need balance.  While I'm a bit of an introvert, I appreciate the social interaction I get at work. I think that's the only thing I'll miss when I retire


----------



## drifter (Jun 30, 2019)

We downsized from a four bedroom to a two bedroom, one very small which we converted to a office. The house is roughly a little less than eight hundred squire feet. Roommate keeps tv going from time she gets up till bedtime. I spend my time on the computer or reading but anywhere in this little house the sound of the tv is prominate and disturbing, so I wear ear phones a lot while on the computer. This helps, but I'm happy in my own skin, enjoy the quite and solitude. I often get up at five am to enjoy the quite time. I suspect if I lived alone, it no doubt be different.


----------



## MeAgain (Jul 1, 2019)

We live in the ' sticks ' too. And isolation is not good for anyone except a very few who can deal with it. I am not happy here but we have built this place from scratch. Nobody had lived here for over 70 years when we bought the place.
I do get stir crazy and lonely. We moved her to raise guard donkeys and have organic garden. Had place named 'Sassy Ass Acres ' after my donk Rosie. Hubby got injured and things changed. Now we are old and it is getting harder to keep up all the work. 
   I'm still wonderign what we should do.


----------



## hypochondriac (Jul 1, 2019)

fuzzybuddy said:


> For over a year, I was in and out of hospitals, care facilities,and 1 home. When I go to my local ER, I can point and say,"I've been in that cubicle, that one, that one, that one, this one's my favorite". But now I'm home. What bothers me is the silence. In all those previous places, people were running around, shouting, coughing, even vomiting. Now NOTHING. I live in the sticks where you can here deer hoofs clicking on the rocks. I have to have the TV on, if I'm awake.


I hope you are not describing how it will be for me some day in the future.


----------



## hypochondriac (Jul 1, 2019)

summer_sky said:


> I enjoy quiet.


I do too. But maybe too much. When I go to Church , if I hear chatter before it starts, it drives me up the wall.


----------



## mike4lorie (Jul 2, 2019)

I live out in the country too... Have friends who drop in now and then... But I also talk to myself, especially when I am out in my shop... Been caught a few times, But they all know me by now... Have some pretty great conversations... Also, talk to myself when I am out cutting the grass on the tractor...


----------



## OneEyedDiva (Aug 4, 2019)

I bet when you were in those places, you wished you could get some peace & quiet.  I don't see how people can rest when they are in hospitals or nursing homes. There's been times I know I should have been in the hospital (fainted and/or had episodes of atrial fibrillation) but I couldn't see how it would benefit my condition to always be disturbed.  T.V. is one form of "company" for sure. Hopefully you can immerse yourself in shows of interest enough that the silence doesn't lead to feeling too lonely.


----------



## Malika (Aug 10, 2019)

fuzzybuddy said:


> For over a year, I was in and out of hospitals, care facilities,and 1 home. When I go to my local ER, I can point and say,"I've been in that cubicle, that one, that one, that one, this one's my favorite". But now I'm home. What bothers me is the silence. In all those previous places, people were running around, shouting, coughing, even vomiting. Now NOTHING. I live in the sticks where you can here deer hoofs clicking on the rocks. I have to have the TV on, if I'm awake.


I understand completely!! I had to move to a warmer climate for health reasons. HUGE mistake. Im a big city girl, this is a small town. I dont have a car and getting around is near impossible. I have no friend nor family here. The sounds of nature is strange to me. It sometimes frightens me. I dont get out, so making acquaintances will be near to impossible. I cry a lot from the lonely silence. At least in the city, I could go to near by coffeeshops and enjoy the hussel bussel of people moving about. I pray it will get better. I know getting a license and a car will help. At least I will be able to get out more.


----------



## win231 (Aug 10, 2019)

Rosemarie said:


> I love being surrounded by books!


Like Burgess Meredith in that Twilight Zone episode when he found that library:  "Time Enough at Last."


----------



## Liberty (Aug 11, 2019)

win231 said:


> Like Burgess Meredith in that Twilight Zone episode when he found that library:  "Time Enough at Last."


win...you should see our library...you'd probably get lost in all the books and we wouldn't see you for a week!
Husband loves books, and I say "what's not to like".  We're both book worms.  Loved those old Twilight Zone episodes, too!


----------



## debbie in seattle (Aug 17, 2019)

My husband has been gone 18 months now and I’m getting used to the silence now.   Starting to enjoy it somewhat.


----------



## toffee (Aug 17, 2019)

think your answer is a very small pet to focus on -plus talking too -
even if it is a parrot 'or a pussy cat - it will make such a difference to your silence …..


----------



## win231 (Aug 17, 2019)

debbie in seattle said:


> My husband has been gone 18 months now and I’m getting used to the silence now.   Starting to enjoy it somewhat.


He might be enjoying the silence as well.


----------



## Liberty (Aug 17, 2019)

win231 said:


> He might be enjoying the silence as well.


Spoken like a true man.  I bet the whole right side of my hubby's body is numb from 
sitting next to me on long car trips...lol.


----------



## Liberty (Aug 17, 2019)

debbie in seattle said:


> My husband has been gone 18 months now and I’m getting used to the silence now.   Starting to enjoy it somewhat.


So glad that you are being able to experience this peace.  Very happy for you.  Thanks so much for sharing it with us, it makes my day!


----------



## Judycat (Aug 17, 2019)

During my husband's last days, his noisy oxygen concentrator console would run all night. That's the first thing I noticed after he died, how quiet it was. I do enjoy quiet. 
     Yesterday I came home to the sound of water dripping in the cellar. Went down and found the water heater leaking, a lot. I hate the sound of water dripping. Of course I turned off the water to it, and went and ordered another water heater, but had to call my son to come over and confirm the water heater was toast. Stupid guy at the appliance store kept telling me it might be my plumbing instead. Why do they do that? He wasn't there, so he didn't know anything, but he got me sufficiently upset. That's when the quiet started to stress me out. Gah!


----------



## Lara (Aug 17, 2019)

I raised 4 children (as a single parent) who were all 2 yrs apart and still call, text, and visit everyday...so I cherish silence when it happens. But if silence ever began to bother me I would choose an active senior community to live in. There are really nice ones around and most people enjoy them.


----------



## Rosemarie (Aug 19, 2019)

Connie said:


> So many different thoughts. I'm more the like it quiet type. Not 24/7 365 though. I am a director of independent senior housing and folks move in that have lost a spouse, or a couple comes to live that their children are moved to their own homes etc. Gives them people to be around when they want. Maybe there are places like mine where you all live?


I lived for a little while in one of those assisted living places. I found it too intrusive. I'm a quiet, private person, but you were expected to become part of a community. I got tired of people wanted to know all my business and making comments on my clothes etc. I took to sneaking out by the back stairs so I wouldn't have to tell people where I was going. Eventually I left and now  I'm free to be the recluse I am.


----------



## Aunt Bea (Aug 19, 2019)




----------



## Butterfly (Aug 19, 2019)

win231 said:


> He might be enjoying the silence as well.



Or perhaps he is missing the voice of his beloved.


----------



## Marie5656 (Aug 19, 2019)

There are occasional times now when I just sit and enjoy the quiet. Life can be so noisy sometimes. I am still at the stage where I miss my husband's voice, though.

I now go both ways. Sometimes I need the quiet. Other times I need some noise, even if it is just turning on my fan or white noise machine


----------



## debodun (Aug 22, 2019)

I like the quiet, well as quiet as it can get in the center of a small town on three major traffic routes. However, I can't go to sleep unless I have the TV on. Otherwise I lay there and listen for noises. OMG...what was that snap??? Is that rustling a wild animal that got inside or just the wind in the trees???? Is that chugging the furnace going kablooie????


----------



## twinkles (Aug 22, 2019)

i love living by myself- i use to live in a small mobile home where you  could communicate with neighbors over the fence-i really enjoyed that --i had a big yard to take care of and my crocheting to keep me busy-plus a big dog--i now live with one of my kids  and i wish i had my mobile home back


----------



## bearcat (Mar 18, 2020)

fuzzybuddy said:


> For over a year, I was in and out of hospitals, care facilities,and 1 home. When I go to my local ER, I can point and say,"I've been in that cubicle, that one, that one, that one, this one's my favorite". But now I'm home. What bothers me is the silence. In all those previous places, people were running around, shouting, coughing, even vomiting. Now NOTHING. I live in the sticks where you can here deer hoofs clicking on the rocks. I have to have the TV on, if I'm awake.



The nightmares every night have caused me to go to bed with an audiobook playing.
Sometimes I'm lucky and it drowns out some of the horror.


----------



## Liberty (Mar 19, 2020)

bearcat said:


> The nightmares every night have caused me to go to bed with an audiobook playing.
> Sometimes I'm lucky and it drowns out some of the horror.


That's sad.  Aren't there any friends or neighbors nearby you are friendly with?


----------



## bearcat (Mar 19, 2020)

Liberty said:


> That's sad.  Aren't there any friends or neighbors nearby you are friendly with?



No.  I live in a very large apartment building.  I've been here sixteen years, never knew anyone.
I don't make or keep friends, really.


----------



## katlupe (Mar 21, 2020)

bearcat said:


> No.  I live in a very large apartment building.  I've been here sixteen years, never knew anyone.
> I don't make or keep friends, really.


 I never had a large amount of personal friends. Just a few. I have lost contact with most of them. Then I lived in a very secluded home and sometimes hadn't left my home in months. Not even to go to the store. So two years ago when I moved into this building which is a senior housing apartment complex, I made myself go to the tenants' meetings and activities. I am not a game player but now I play Bingo twice a month (no money, just for the social interaction). Now I am friends with many of my neighbors and I like it. I really had to force myself to go to activities though and almost every time I came back home happy that I went.


----------



## Camper6 (Mar 21, 2020)

It's quiet here and it's eerie.
I got an email from my insurance agent working from home and trying to sell me more insurance. I told her I'm fine right now but do you sell loneliness insurance?
She came back and said no but you can give me a call anytime.


----------



## Marlene (Mar 21, 2020)

I like the silence of living alone, and have never liked "white noise."  I do listen to music quite often and have a very large collection, but I never use it as background noise.   At the same time, I like to be able to get out and about when I need to hear human voices and get a bit of social interaction.  Now that we can't do that, I have cabin fever.


----------



## katlupe (Mar 22, 2020)

Marlene said:


> I like the silence of living alone, and have never liked "white noise."  I do listen to music quite often and have a very large collection, but I never use it as background noise.   At the same time, I like to be able to get out and about when I need to hear human voices and get a bit of social interaction.  Now that we can't do that, I have cabin fever.


I am like you. I never liked the sound of a television that is constantly on. If I was watching a program that was one thing and I'd mute it for the commercials. I also have a collection of music and play it often but not nonstop all day long. When I lived in the country I did not have the option of listening to music (until I finally had enough electric to power a boom box) or watching videos on my computer. Actually, I did not mind all that much because I loved hearing the sounds of nature and the forest. The birds were my favorite sound in the spring. I don't hear them anymore here (in a city) and I miss that. I don't really have cabin fever but will be going out today. I am always happy when it is time to come back home.


----------



## Camper6 (Mar 22, 2020)

My cable provider has given us free channels to keep us entertained. Smithsonian and BBC Earth. Never had those. They are great. What I really miss is coffee every morning with the boys.


----------



## MarciKS (Mar 22, 2020)

I am accustomed to the silence. I have spent my entire life never having people in my life really. It started when I was young. The kids at school didn't understand my Tourette Syndrome so I was socially shunned. Later in life I had difficulties playing well with others so I secluded myself. After my 2nd divorce and a couple boyfriends later, I still had no companionship or friendship to show for it. I slowly began to isolate myself from everyone. Then I worked for a man who hurt me so badly emotionally that I withdrew even farther. I've never really recovered and I have found solace and safety in being alone. Every time I reach out to others they give me a reason to withdraw again. No one seems very interested in taking the time to get to know me or spending any time with me. Please note that I'm not complaining. I have just pretty much accepted the fact that I am going to be alone for the rest of my life. I've embraced it. I'm learning to enjoy it. I hate the noise of life and all the incessant jibber jabber that goes on. Doors slamming, music blaring, engines revving, people just jabbering away all day long about nothing. The racket at work. It's nice to come home to the peace and quiet and be able to adjust the volume of life at home. In my 50s now and this has been taking place little by little since I was a little girl. I have learned to keep myself busy and find things that bring me joy. If it's too quiet and you like soft music...find a way to make that happen.


----------



## Pepper (Mar 22, 2020)

(((Marci)))


----------



## Pete (Mar 22, 2020)

fuzzybuddy said:


> For over a year, I was in and out of hospitals, care facilities,and 1 home. When I go to my local ER, I can point and say,"I've been in that cubicle, that one, that one, that one, this one's my favorite". But now I'm home. What bothers me is the silence. In all those previous places, people were running around, shouting, coughing, even vomiting. Now NOTHING. I live in the sticks where you can here deer hoofs clicking on the rocks. I have to have the TV on, if I'm awake.


I too lived alone 14 years in Alaska and now 4 here in Texas. I guess I am fortunate that I have adjusted by filling those many hours. In Alaska without any electricity or TV if I wasn't working outside I read and after a couple years there I became an amatuer radio operator, a ham, this took up a couple hours interspersed throughout the day. Now in Texas and not allowed to operate my radio I have replaced that with writing my blog on WordPress and streaming TV series. Yeah I know I should get back to reading and to replace my physical work in the woods should get outside and do some walking but what can I say I am weak. 

The takeaway is to find something that occupies your mind that you like even if it is only to pick up a book


----------



## Pepper (Mar 22, 2020)

@Pete 
Why are you not allowed to operate your radio in Texas?


----------



## Em in Ohio (Mar 23, 2020)

AprilSun said:


> I can't stand a quiet house. The only time this house is quiet is when I'm ready to go to sleep. I have the radio or the TV on all the time. A quiet house is too lonely for me.


I used to love my own company and didn't need external noise from media or phones - now, I have wifi running 24-7 with news, weather, Netflix.  If it went down, I think I would lose my mind.  I have also considered answering those unknown callers, just to have a dialog with another human.


----------



## MarciKS (Mar 23, 2020)

@Empty or mess with them for the entertainment portion of your day.


----------



## Em in Ohio (Mar 23, 2020)

MarciKS said:


> @Empty or mess with them for the entertainment portion of your day.


Hmmm - I saw on the news a bit ago that some people were actually getting paid to do just that!  I could use the income!


----------



## MarciKS (Mar 23, 2020)

@Empty I wish they'd pay me to do that. That would never be boring. LOL


----------



## zoey (Mar 24, 2020)

Rosemarie said:


> I love being surrounded by books!


My mother is like this. She and her books have always been fine companions even when my father was alive. To an extent I am like this too.


----------



## Autumn72 (Mar 26, 2020)

Rosemarie said:


> I love being surrounded by books!


What do you read now?


----------



## Autumn72 (Mar 26, 2020)

mike4lorie said:


> I live out in the country too... Have friends who drop in now and then... But I also talk to myself, especially when I am out in my shop... Been caught a few times, But they all know me by now... Have some pretty great conversations... Also, talk to myself when I am out cutting the grass on the tractor...


I will not  admit that today I caught myself doing that too sad... estranged daughters.


----------



## Camper6 (Mar 26, 2020)

Pepper said:


> @Pete
> Why are you not allowed to operate your radio in Texas?


You didn't get an answe. He said he was an amateur radio operator which involves receiving and broadcasting . Just guessing but it might have something to do with radio interference.


----------



## Vega_Lyra (Mar 31, 2020)




----------



## Babycakes (Apr 3, 2020)

Beccaboo said:


> I know that silence and fuzzybuddy it is hard to deal with. Ever since that day on December 12, 2018 when my husband was tragically killed on the job as he was a Police officer and I realized he was never coming home and then shortly after that my youngest daughter moving out I have that silence other than the company of my Yellow Lab Finn who is a godsend. I do not know if you are able to get a pet, but having one has helped me out a lot. Last year this time I certainly was not thinking I would be living alone even though my husband and I knew my youngest would be leaving the nest. I never thought my husband would have lost his life in the line of duty. It is hard fuzzybuddy and if you can get a pet I would highly recommend it.


Wonder how your doing. How is your Lab?


----------



## Victor (Apr 7, 2020)

Butterfly said:


> Or perhaps he is missing the voice of his beloved.



To the question, are you the oldest one in the room? Aunt Bea said, I'm the only one in the room! Yeah.


----------



## Packerjohn (Apr 7, 2020)

Being a real "country boy" I love the quiet places out in the country.  Love to hear the birds.  Don't like the terrible music in the malls.  Don't like TV at all unless I am watching my ROKU or great shows like "Gunsmoke" or "Rifleman".  Don't like traffic either.  Guess I am noise sensitive.


----------



## MarciKS (Apr 7, 2020)

Packerjohn said:


> Being a real "country boy" I love the quiet places out in the country.  Love to hear the birds.  Don't like the terrible music in the malls.  Don't like TV at all unless I am watching my ROKU or great shows like "Gunsmoke" or "Rifleman".  Don't like traffic either.  Guess I am noise sensitive.


I am too. But I was told my noise sensitivity is because of my anxiety.


----------



## win231 (Apr 7, 2020)

MarciKS said:


> I am accustomed to the silence. I have spent my entire life never having people in my life really. It started when I was young. The kids at school didn't understand my Tourette Syndrome so I was socially shunned. Later in life I had difficulties playing well with others so I secluded myself. After my 2nd divorce and a couple boyfriends later, I still had no companionship or friendship to show for it. I slowly began to isolate myself from everyone. Then I worked for a man who hurt me so badly emotionally that I withdrew even farther. I've never really recovered and I have found solace and safety in being alone. Every time I reach out to others they give me a reason to withdraw again. No one seems very interested in taking the time to get to know me or spending any time with me. Please note that I'm not complaining. I have just pretty much accepted the fact that I am going to be alone for the rest of my life. I've embraced it. I'm learning to enjoy it. I hate the noise of life and all the incessant jibber jabber that goes on. Doors slamming, music blaring, engines revving, people just jabbering away all day long about nothing. The racket at work. It's nice to come home to the peace and quiet and be able to adjust the volume of life at home. In my 50s now and this has been taking place little by little since I was a little girl. I have learned to keep myself busy and find things that bring me joy. If it's too quiet and you like soft music...find a way to make that happen.


Yeah, ignorance is not a good thing.  I worked in retail sporting goods & was familiar with Tourette's, having read up on it.  A customer who had Tourette's came in & my co-workers immediately started to make fun of him.  I told the customer (loud enough for everyone to hear):  "Just ignore them; they're morons."  After I helped the customer with the sale & paperwork (he was buying a firearm), my co-workers let me know how angry they were at me.  I just laughed.  They asked, "What the hell is so funny?"  I said, "Your stupidity."


----------



## Ruthanne (Apr 8, 2020)

They say silence is golden.


----------



## Melly4Hope (Apr 22, 2020)

fuzzybuddy said:


> For over a year, I was in and out of hospitals, care facilities,and 1 home. When I go to my local ER, I can point and say,"I've been in that cubicle, that one, that one, that one, this one's my favorite". But now I'm home. What bothers me is the silence. In all those previous places, people were running around, shouting, coughing, even vomiting. Now NOTHING. I live in the sticks where you can here deer hoofs clicking on the rocks. I have to have the TV on, if I'm awake.


----------



## Patros (Jun 9, 2020)

I live alone, but I have neighbours very close by, and a four lane highway! So it’s not quiet by any means. I like having my tv on or my music but I’m just as happy curled up reading. I never really feel alone, I have a rich head-life so there’s a constant dialogue happening....I had a friend boarding with me for three months and it nearly drove me nuts.


----------



## hellomimi (Jun 9, 2020)

Em in Ohio said:


> I have also considered answering those unknown callers, just to have a dialog with another human.


I remember a friend when he was a new widower, he said he loved talking to telemarketers just to have someone to talk to. While most of us won't even take those calls, he eagerly waited for them. We had to take turns to check on him every now and then to make sure he's okay. 

I enjoy solitude every now and then but more often, I crave for meaningful human connection.


----------



## Autumn72 (Jun 13, 2020)

Packerjohn said:


> Being a real "country boy" I love the quiet places out in the country.  Love to hear the birds.  Don't like the terrible music in the malls.  Don't like TV at all unless I am watching my ROKU or great shows like "Gunsmoke" or "Rifleman".  Don't like traffic eithebr.  Guess I am noise sensitive.


How did you get yourself so tiny and in that little circle? I am trying to get my picture up loaded I have no idea how you did that. You mention it took you 3 days to do it. Maybe you could send me a clue.
If you can.
Autumn72


----------



## Sunny (Jun 13, 2020)

I like the silence. And since I have a brand new Alexa that I just received as a gift, I can always have music, listen to voices talking, etc. by just saying, "Alexa, play (such-and-such). " You can even ask it to tell a joke, play the news, give you a recipe, answer a question, etc.  Not quite the same thing as having another human being in the house, but a good remedy for silence if you hate it.


----------



## ronk (Jul 26, 2020)

I can't stand the silence. I usually turn the TV on as soon as I'm awake.


----------



## macgeek (Jul 26, 2020)

TV radio or a few fans always on to break the silence. always.  The fans help me sleep at bedtime. Drown out any outside noises.


----------



## fancicoffee13 (Jul 26, 2020)

ronk said:


> I can't stand the silence. I usually turn the TV on as soon as I'm awake.


Same here, but sometimes I just get a cup of coffee, breakfast, and look out the window and just listen.  Listen to the quiet.  It is more quiet now since the virus hit because there aren't as many cars going by early in the morning.  When school starts up, if it does, we will see.  Wal Mart doesn't stay open 24 hours anymore, and that is near me.  I get up really early, and the silence is very welcome, then when 7 or 7:30 hits, time to turn on the news.  And the dogs get up, time for a morning walk and the dogs.


----------



## fancicoffee13 (Jul 26, 2020)

I used to listen to, focus on, the sounds of the night, as I call it, in order to fall asleep.  I would be able to name the sounds like a cricket, fan blowing, air conditioner just went off, refrigerator, dog barking, cars, and the list goes on.


----------



## AprilSun (Jul 27, 2020)

ronk said:


> I can't stand the silence. I usually turn the TV on as soon as I'm awake.



I can't stand a quiet house so if I'm up, there's always something on. Either the radio or the TV.


----------



## OneEyedDiva (Jul 27, 2020)

win231 said:


> He might be enjoying the silence as well.


Win..you are *bad*!


----------



## win231 (Jul 27, 2020)

Liberty said:


> Spoken like a true man.  I bet the whole right side of my hubby's body is numb from
> sitting next to me on long car trips...lol.


After my dad passed, we visited him at the funeral home.  I couldn't help but notice the look of relief and the smile on his face - at not having to deal with our mom anymore.  In fact, I never saw him look that happy in his 88 years.  I thought, "maybe the mortuary employee did it, but......"


----------



## FastTrax (Aug 2, 2020)

Since I retired in 2018 after working for 50 years at all kinds of hours on any given day sometimes for up to six days straight it took me a great while to experience a full uninterrupted nights sleep. Eventually my doctor put me on an Ambien regimen for 3 months until I maintained a satisfactory sleep schedule, weaned me off Ambien with Valium then I was pretty much good to go, gave all my watches including the certified stopwatches I used at work to relatives now I'm good to go. I volunteer for Red Cross, Operation Lifesaver, watch cable TV especially Netflix, mess with my computers, listen to my scanners and shortwave radios, yack on my CB radio, relax to FM music, live stream any and everything, ride what few passenger trains exist here in Florida. Have one landline phone that's not cordless because if the power goes out the handset is useless and of course one of these dumb smartphones, well maybe I'm the dumb one but only 3 people know my number and my message is if you want a call back leave a "DETAILED MESSAGE" for a callback. Even then it's always on vibrate. Some life huh? But I'm happy. Thanks for reading.


----------



## mlh (Aug 2, 2020)

_I like the quiet of a room with just a clock ticking. It is so peaceful. _


----------



## fancicoffee13 (Aug 4, 2020)

AprilSun said:


> I can't stand a quiet house so if I'm up, there's always something on. Either the radio or the TV.


Same here, once up, get a cup of coffee, oatmeal, turn on the tv.  And it stays on till I go to bed.  My husband and I do that.  I am not alone.


----------



## fancicoffee13 (Aug 4, 2020)

mlh said:


> _I like the quiet of a room with just a clock ticking. It is so peaceful. _


I have gotten up a few times and left the tv off while drinking coffee and eating oatmeal.  Looked out to the west and watched the sky getting brighter.  I put out bird feeders, bird bath and plants.  Nice to watch the birds eat and fly around outside my door.  So, mornings can be peaceful for about an hour before I turn on the news.


----------

