# Have you given thought about "your final wishes"?



## fuzzybuddy (Jul 10, 2021)

Come on, it's gonna happen. So, have you given thought about "your final wishes"? I have a list of "don'ts".
 As for me, I'm not religious, so no big church funeral. Nope to a viewing, wake, etc. I want to cremated, and come on, I'm dead, and burnt to ashes, so does it really matter where they then dump the ashes?  I don't want to be buried, because sooner or later ,they are going pave over me and erect a McDonald's. I wouldn't mind if my kin got together and talked about me. But I don't want tears, only funny stories.


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## Buckeye (Jul 10, 2021)

I want my ashes scattered in the Pacific Ocean at Punalu'u Black Sand Beach on the Big Island.


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## HoneyNut (Jul 10, 2021)

Ideally I'd like to be buried in a 'green' way with a tree planted over me.  But, I have not made any effort to set up any type of arrangement.  I really appreciated that my mother had already pre-paid and provided instructions.


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## Aunt Bea (Jul 10, 2021)

I set up a prepaid funeral with a local undertaker and purchased my tombstone a few years ago.

The first thing that you see when you open my wallet is a card with the contact information to arrange for the removal of my remains.  That was a tip I got from Falcon when he was active on SF.

Will the living honor the wishes of the dead?


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## Prairie dog (Jul 10, 2021)

We want to be cremated,no service.We have prepaid for our niches for the ashes.In a building in the cemetery.Only thing we haven't paid for is the cremation.Got our urns from here.Paid 60.00 way back while,they charge over 400 at funeral home.

My health card has that I can donate any organs worth while from my body.Depends what you die from.

Got a nice urn for our last dog there

https://www.perfectmemorials.com/


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## Aunt Marg (Jul 10, 2021)

Hubby and I wish to be cremated, no service, no obituary, no nothing. Ashes spread.

We want to go out in the same fashion as we came in, with no buzz or announcement.


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## OneEyedDiva (Jul 10, 2021)

Yes, I've left detailed instructions via Google documents shared with my son and oldest grandson as to what to do after I pass. Instructions include which funeral home should handle my service. It's the policy of Muslims to be buried. About 5 years ago, I bought my plot and paid for my opening and closing fees. I'm tellin' ya...they get ya coming and going! (pun intended). That my mother and father, who passed first, had a dual grave with vault paid for was a tremendous help to me when I had to make arrangements for my mother. She had also pre-paid for her funeral. My will and living will were revised last year but due to COVID I just got them notarized a couple of months ago.


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## Cameron (Jul 10, 2021)

cremated for sure.   no obit.    Ideally my strawbale house would be basically bulldozed into the ground from whence it came but i suspect gov't codes would prevent that.   I planted about 4000 trees out back, spruce, white pine and red maple i would hope whoever takes the property will allow to grow


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## StillLearning (Jul 10, 2021)

My mom had everything planned out and paid for. Unfortunately my dad didn’t and it was hard grieving and figuring everything else out.

Hubby and I have cremation all paid for and card in our wallets. Hubby is a vet so I have it planned for our ashes to be buried at Fort Snelling. Having second thoughts though. He has always been real low key about his service. Told him that   Kids and grandkids would appreciate their service and a place to go when they need to talk. Hmmm … 

My experience is that I’ve felt closer to my deceased family more walking in the woods then at a cemetery.


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## Llynn (Jul 10, 2021)

I seem to have ended up with three cemetery plots paid for and available to me. One is a pioneer cemetery where grandparents and great grandparents are buried, one is where my Mother is buried, and the third is a large family plot where there is "always room for one more". My Daughter asked me which one I would choose and I gave her the Bob Hope answer: "surprise me".


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## cdestroyer (Jul 10, 2021)

as above already paid for with little fanfare


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## Pinky (Jul 10, 2021)

Cremation, with a family party to celebrate my life. No tears, please .. and my favourite music (Aretha Franklin, Ray Charles - my daughter knows what I like). Oh, and lots of tasty food!

Hubby and I have plots already.


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## Ruth n Jersey (Jul 10, 2021)

My Grandpa and Dad paid for plots for generations to come. My daughter knows exactly what I want, which is no fanfare and I want to be buried as quick as possible.
She knows that I want to be wearing my charm bracelet that has been kept up to date with important moments in my life.
I want a closed casket but I have given her permission to peek and make sure its me there.  
Mix ups can happen.


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## Murrmurr (Jul 10, 2021)

My kids know what my final wishes are, and I'm positive they'll honor them. I wrote everything down and stuck the envelope in a book, just in case they need a reminder.


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## Chet (Jul 10, 2021)

Murrmurr said:


> My kids know what my final wishes are, and I'm positive they'll honor them. I wrote everything down and stuck the envelope in a book, just in case they need a reminder.


Writing everything down is a good idea. I did so when my mother was getting up in age. I have written down for my nephew who will take care of things, where important papers are in the house along with keys etc. Told verbaly will be remembered for a while but not forever. 

As for cremation, I would like my ashes divided in three . One to be spread out in the woods where I played, a second thrown in the river, and the third buried in my father's grave directly into the dirt and not in an urn. I have to see if that can be done.


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## Murrmurr (Jul 10, 2021)

Chet said:


> Writing everything down is a good idea. I did so when my mother was getting up in age. I have written down for my nephew who will take care of things, where important papers are in the house along with keys etc. Told verbaly will be remembered for a while but not forever.
> 
> As for cremation, I would like my ashes divided in three . One to be spread out in the woods where I played, a second thrown in the river, and the third buried in my father's grave directly into the dirt and not in an urn. *I have to see if that can be done.*


If the cemetery has a problem with that, it can be done while no one's looking, under the guise of putting in some flowers or something.


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## Ceege (Jul 10, 2021)

Years ago I read about an experiment where they proved that all water is connected in one way or another - the memory of water.  Either through underground springs or humidity that carries part of one body of water to another.  
I want to be cremated and my ashes scattered in a river in Northern Michigan.  Then, if anyone wants to visit me, they can go to any body of water and a part of me will be there.


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## HarryHawk (Jul 10, 2021)

I have purchased a cemetery plot where my father, aunt and grandparents are buried (as well as my mom who is still living will be laid to rest).  I want to be cremated, no ceremony necessary.  My biggest goal is to be sure to clean up and get rid of all my junk before I go.  I don't want to burden my wife or only son to have to clean up a bunch of stuff after I'm gone.  Want to make sure my wife will be taken care of financially.  Don't have to worry about taking care of junior, I'd like to leave him something but if not, he is an MD and makes a comfortable living.


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## HarryHawk (Jul 10, 2021)

Chet said:


> Writing everything down is a good idea. I did so when my mother was getting up in age. I have written down for my nephew who will take care of things, where important papers are in the house along with keys etc. Told verbaly will be remembered for a while but not forever.
> 
> As for cremation, I would like my ashes divided in three . One to be spread out in the woods where I played, a second thrown in the river, and the third buried in my father's grave directly into the dirt and not in an urn. I have to see if that can be done.


Once someone dumps your ashes, not much anyone else can do about it.  I know someone once dumped an urn full of ashes onto the playing field at the Univ of Michigan during a football game.


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## mellowyellow (Jul 10, 2021)

This will do me, cost for Sydney cremation without any fuss $1790

https://www.valuecremations.com.au/


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## Alligatorob (Jul 10, 2021)

After I'm dead it won't much matter to me.  Its what happens before then that I think about.


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## Remy (Jul 11, 2021)

Murrmurr said:


> My kids know what my final wishes are, and I'm positive they'll honor them. I wrote everything down and stuck the envelope in a book, just in case they need a reminder.


Have you done any of it yourself. My stepfather just handed me his list of wishes in a letter I guess figuring I'll take care of it like everything that I'll have to do regarding any big changes in his health or death. Whichever comes first. He's making no effort to do anything himself. He wants cremation and ashes to his home town where his mother is. Doesn't even know the cemetery. Easy enough to figure out I guess. He had some other wishes with former animal ashes and honestly, I don't know what I'll do regarding that. 

Then I'll have to figure out what to do with my mother's ashes which are on the top of the cabinet in his living room.


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## Lakeland living (Jul 11, 2021)

Have a plan to be cremated, taken up in a plane and dumped over the country and lake that I am spending the rest of my life in.
  I am hoping to keep an eye on whoever ends up with my place.    good or bad???   lol
  No service please, Raise a good drink. (Crown Royal Please) then enjoy what you have.


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## Ladybj (Jul 11, 2021)

I do not want to be kept alive on a machine. When it's my time, its my time.  I also do not want a big fancy funeral.. that is for the living.  Won't be for me, I will not get to see and enjoy it.  I would like everyone to eat, drink and dance.  I love dancing and having a good time.  This will be VERY HARD for my family members and friends if I go before them.


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## Verisure (Jul 12, 2021)

fuzzybuddy said:


> Come on, it's gonna happen. So, have you given thought about "your final wishes"? I have a list of "don'ts".
> As for me, I'm not religious, so no big church funeral. Nope to a viewing, wake, etc. I want to cremated, and come on, I'm dead, and burnt to ashes, so does it really matter where they then dump the ashes?  I don't want to be buried, because sooner or later ,they are going pave over me and erect a McDonald's. I wouldn't mind if my kin got together and talked about me. But I don't want tears, only funny stories.


My final wish is that my wife and children do what they think is best for them. That's all.


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## Prairie dog (Jul 12, 2021)

Another thing to think about.When one person looks after all the finances & bills.

I have a list of the contact  person for the bank & our investment person.What payments are automatically take out of the account.The others that are taken out of our visas.Phone. number for gov't agency to report the death..Life insurance  phone # if you have any.Bills that come in the mail which you have to pay from your account online.Where you will is & your heath directive  Where the key is to your safety deposit box for documents. along with your prepaid arrangements.


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## Jules (Jul 12, 2021)

Remy said:


> He wants cremation and ashes to his home town where his mother is. Doesn't even know the cemetery. Easy enough to figure out I guess. He had some other wishes with former animal ashes and honestly, I don't know what I'll do regarding that.


Do a little research now re the cemeteries in his home town so you’re not overwhelmed with everything.  Set the ashes of animals free.


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## Jules (Jul 12, 2021)

We both know we want to be cremated and no event.  As I was reading this some issues just hit me like a ton of bricks.  I’ll have to talk to my husband tomorrow.


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## PamfromTx (Jul 13, 2021)

My wishes have been given to my husband.


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## Manatee (Jul 13, 2021)

I compiled a book with the simple directions in a loose leaf binder.
We have prepaid for direct cremation with ashes to be scattered in the Gulf of Mexico.

In 13 years I will be 100, that is more than soon enough.


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## Myquest55 (Jul 13, 2021)

This is timely!  We just made a decision like this, a month ago.  In 2017, we moved north and left the scattered, grown kids to fend for themselves.  To make things easier for them we thought we should make those end-of-life plans so they don't have to.  We toured an "Organic Burial Ground" nearby and loved it!  No embalming, nothing toxic, just wrap the body in an organic biodegrable sheet, plant it with a flat stone on top, we're done!  We purchased two spots.  They come with free space for a pet!  A small graveside service for family should do it.  Not sure we should plan a wake or memorial since the kids don't know anyone here.  Thoughts?

We plan to move one more time to an organized Retirement Community so we hope to talk to a funeral home, once we get settled there.  (It might not be in the same town we're in now).


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## Paco Dennis (Jul 13, 2021)

Myquest55 said:


> This is timely!  We just made a decision like this, a month ago.  In 2017, we moved north and left the scattered, grown kids to fend for themselves.  To make things easier for them we thought we should make those end-of-life plans so they don't have to.  We toured an "Organic Burial Ground" nearby and loved it!  No embalming, nothing toxic, just wrap the body in an organic biodegrable sheet, plant it with a flat stone on top, we're done!  We purchased two spots.  They come with free space for a pet!  A small graveside service for family should do it.  Not sure we should plan a wake or memorial since the kids don't know anyone here.  Thoughts?
> 
> We plan to move one more time to an organized Retirement Community so we hope to talk to a funeral home, once we get settled there.  (It might not be in the same town we're in now).


  I just opened a letter from "Green Burial" funeral service. I made all arrangements about 2 years ago.  I look forward to dissolving back to Mother Earth.


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## Mr. Ed (Jul 15, 2021)

The problem with making final wishes is unless you die immediately they are not final wishes. Perhaps after death your mind lingers on, & on...


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## Elsie (Jul 15, 2021)

HoneyNut said:


> Ideally I'd like to be buried in a 'green' way with a tree planted over me.  But, I have not made any effort to set up any type of arrangement.  I really appreciated that my mother had already pre-paid and provided instructions.


I would like to be buried in a 'green' way too.  I still have to find out what arrangements I should make from Nature Burials.    No man-made casket. NO cremation.


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## drifter (Jul 16, 2021)

Yes, have thought about when I will no longer be around. Arrangements have been made for cremation. I expect my ashes will be spread or buried in a small cemetery in the southwestern part of the state where I now live. My son will handle all arrangements and finances and will take into consideration any wishes my wife might have.


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## StarSong (Jul 16, 2021)

Cremation is the current plan for both DH and me, but should green burials become more affordable and easier to obtain before our deaths, we'd likely reconsider.


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## funsearcher! (Jul 16, 2021)

Last weekend in my hometown cemetery..... while visiting graves of former classmates and family- I considered that if  I will not be buried or have a gravestone, it would not be recorded anywhere that I was here on this earth.. Kinda sad to not leave a RECORD any where, so thinking about it now.


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## Aunt Bea (Jul 16, 2021)

funsearcher! said:


> Last weekend in my hometown cemetery..... while visiting graves of former classmates and family- I considered that if  I will not be buried or have a gravestone, it would not be recorded anywhere that I was here on this earth.. Kinda sad to not leave a RECORD any where, so thinking about it now.


That is the reason that I finally decided to have a small flush mounted granite marker placed in the family plot.

Even if my ashes end up being spread in an icy parking lot the marker will still be there as a little historical reference point.


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