# Easter etc.



## chic (Apr 4, 2021)

This is a sad Easter for me because I am not celebrating, I'm not cooking for a crowd, I'm not pretending.

I realized yesterday that I've been sitting in a car for 6 months straight, mostly in grocery store parking lots, since it got cold and I quit crossing state borders just to be able to shop maskless.

In this time I've had some some interesting conversations with people, strangers, who are falling apart and I have listened because that is who I was and what I used to do. They relate to me on some level as they have always done and I cannot refuse anyone in pain for meaningless reasons. But being shunned, banned and reviled for any reason changes a person from the core. I need some "me" time to digest all of this. I seek renewal. 

Outside nature is coming to life. Inside it's a struggle. 

On this day I could really use an Easter miracle. Because I'm done. I'm sick of this pandemic. There is nowhere to run to. No escape. I don't know what has even happened to so many people who were a part of my daily life, my daily world. I don't even know why I've chosen Easter as the holiday on which to fall apart myself, but I have. Resurrection seems alien now. To die as something or someone and return as something else.

I see solutions clearly. But no one listens to me except other outcasts, other people on the fringe. Will that be enough to change anything? This is something to be learned.


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## hollydolly (Apr 4, 2021)

(((chic)))... it will be over soon,, hang on in there please....


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## chic (Apr 4, 2021)

hollydolly said:


> (((chic)))... it will be over soon,, hang on in there please....


I'm not in danger. It's just the moment when you know you're done with something and need to move on to something else but you are handcuffed by a pandemic outside of your individual control. This is my dilemma.


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## hollydolly (Apr 4, 2021)

chic said:


> I'm not in danger. It's just the moment when you know you're done with something and need to move on to something else but you are handcuffed by a pandemic outside of your individual control. This is my dilemma.


Unfortunately it's not a dilemma, it's something out of your control, until it's not, and the only thing we can do is hold on until the spinning top has stopped spinning. For us after a year of closure we're finally going to have some things re-open again in one weeks' time..many people will be returning to work... it's a start.. we're all apprehensive in case it doesn't last and we close down again , but we can only pray that with 1/2 the population vaccinated we're on the right path to preventing financial disaster as well more mental health problems... 

I think even the strongest of us , are beginning to buckle at the knees now...


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