# Have you become the "head" of your family?



## fuzzybuddy (Jun 3, 2022)

My grandfather was the undisputed head of the family. Then my dad, mom, and older brother. Now, I'm the oldest. So, I'm the head of the family. There's nothing special in being the "head". Nobody said anything, but it's unspoken and understood..  You just feel it, at least I do. My "kid" brother (66) is next inline.


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## Trish (Jun 3, 2022)

I am not sure I would say the "head" of the family but I definitely seem to be the one everyone reports to if mum needs anything or has another fall.  I really don't mind but I am a bit baffled as to how I got nominated


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## Murrmurr (Jun 3, 2022)

In my family, once you have a job and place of your own, and maybe a spouse, too, you're the head of your own family. We don't have patriarchs or matriarchs outside our own roofs. Even if you're only 17, if you go off to make your own decisions, that's it; you're making your own bed. Your parents help, all you gotta do is ask, and their door is always open, you only have to walk in, but you steer your own ship. Your elders are basically a second rudder.


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## Trish (Jun 3, 2022)

Murrmurr said:


> In my family, once you have a job and place of your own, and maybe a spouse, too, you're the head of your own family. We don't have patriarchs or matriarchs outside our own roofs. Even if you're only 17, if you go off to make your own decisions, that's it; you're making your own bed. Your parents help, all you gotta do is ask, and their door is always open, you only have to walk in, but you steer your own ship. Your elders are basically a second rudder.


When you are feeling a little better, perhaps you can explain that to my mother


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## Murrmurr (Jun 3, 2022)

Trish said:


> I am not sure I would say the "head" of the family but I definitely seem to be the one everyone reports to if mum needs anything or has another fall.  I really don't mind but I am a bit baffled as to how I got nominated


I won that nomination, too. But it made sense because I wasn't working when my dad had a stroke (mom was disabled) and all my siblings were, plus my older brother traveled for work a lot. After dad died, I still took care of mom until my brother semi-retired and he and his wife took her, then my sister did, and then my younger brother did.


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## Blessed (Jun 3, 2022)

I was not the head of the family but I was the one to step up when someone needed care.  Some of us are built for it, some are not. During those times I was not shy to  tell others what they needed to do to help.  When my husband was sick from chemo, I had to tell them they needed to step up and look after things at Mom's.  It never occurred to them.  How did they think things were going to get done? Some can't see the big picture.


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## Trish (Jun 3, 2022)

Murrmurr said:


> I won that nomination, too. But it made sense because I wasn't working when my dad had a stroke (mom was disabled) and all my siblings were, plus my older brother traveled for work a lot. After dad died, I still took care of mom until my brother semi-retired and he and his wife took her, then my sister did, and then my younger brother did.


I am the middle child but the oldest girl so, I think that's what qualified me.


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## Murrmurr (Jun 3, 2022)

Trish said:


> I am the middle child but the oldest girl so, I think that's what qualified me.


Yeah, that's how it works on my mom's side of the family; Italian....and Jewish to boot!


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## horseless carriage (Jun 3, 2022)

Head of the family? That would be Khandi. Our arrogant, self indulgent,
oh so snobbish Birman cat.


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## hollydolly (Jun 3, 2022)

Yep head of my own family and head of mysiblings since I was 18 years old...  I have a half brother  9 years older than me but he's not really involved with my fathers' second family..us.... so I'm the eldest of the second lot.. next in line is my brother age 66 and a year younger than me.. then my sister 64... and so it goes down the line..the youngest is 59


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## Trish (Jun 3, 2022)

Murrmurr said:


> Yeah, that's how it works on my mom's side of the family; Italian....and Jewish to boot!


Oh that's interesting!


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## dseag2 (Jun 3, 2022)

I became the head of my family when my father passed away in 2000 and I was 43 y/o and an only child.  I became the caregiver for my mother and the primary breadwinner for my household.  

I've paid my dues.  I'm now enjoying my retirement.


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## Gary O' (Jun 3, 2022)

Have you become the "head" of your family?​
Yeah
Get old, stay solvent, that's what happens

Heard the term 'patriarch' a few times

Rels coming to me with money problems gets interesting

I do give

.....advice


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## Alligatorob (Jun 3, 2022)

More of the tail, I think...

I am the oldest sibling and no longer have living parents, only on aunt left.


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## win231 (Jun 3, 2022)

Yes, I have become the head of my family.
In fact, I'm the only one who has one.


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## jujube (Jun 3, 2022)

I guess I'm the Matriarch now that my mom's gone, but my sisters aren't likely to ever listen to whatever I have to say so it's an empty throne.....


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## Remy (Jun 4, 2022)

Well, being single, I guess I'm it.

Looking back, I'm able to see how terrible it was that my mother ruled it all and everything, and I mean everything, revolved around her and all her craziness.


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## Mr. Ed (Jun 4, 2022)

Have you become the "head" of your family? I have to ask my wife?​


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## Della (Jun 6, 2022)

{What a gorgeous cat!}

My middle brother became the head of the family so far as making decisions for/with our parents and caring for them in their old age. This is partly because he and his sainted wife lived closest, but primarily because he was always their obvious favorite.  In early years my other brother and I never would have guessed there was an upside to this.

They just paid no attention to me. I'm the baby girl what could I know?  I could suggest they do something and they wouldn't even give it a moments consideration, but middle child would say the same thing and it would happen.  Now my parents are both gone and so is my oldest brother, so I appreciate middle child all the more.  It's nice to have someone in the family who will make decisions and take charge when needed, just so he remembers he's not the boss of me!


Remy said:


> Well, being single, I guess I'm it.
> 
> Looking back, I'm able to see how terrible it was that my mother ruled it all and everything, and I mean everything, revolved around her and all her crazy.


Oh Remy that's sad.  That seems to happen in some families, the "crazy" just sucks all the oxygen out of the room and leaves everyone else just hoping it will stop if they stay quiet.


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## Em in Ohio (Jun 6, 2022)

I am the eldest of my bloodline.  Nearest to me is one remaining (and childless) cousin, seven years my junior.  I have little sway in the affairs of my child, grandkids, or great-grandkids.  But, I'd fashion myself as the family matriarch if I could! (haha)


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## JustBonee (Jun 6, 2022)

I have several  cousins who are older than me,  but in my immediate family,  I'm the oldest.


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## Bella (Jun 6, 2022)

*"Have you become the "head" of your family?"*

I'm defiantly a "head", lol.


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## hollydolly (Jun 6, 2022)

Bella said:


> *"Have you become the "head" of your family?"*
> 
> I'm defiantly a "head", lol.


Defiantly ??.. was that intended?


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## Bella (Jun 6, 2022)

hollydolly said:


> Defiantly ??.. was that intended?


Definitely. Frigging typo, lol!


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## Capt Lightning (Jun 7, 2022)

I must be the 'Head'.  My wife tells me so and I can't argue with that


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