# Who do you feel had an influence on your development as an adult.



## merlin (May 14, 2015)

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I was wondering the other day which people had influenced my personal development and personality after childhood, and outside of my immediate family and friends.

As a precocious teenager I read a lot of psychology books and *Carl Jung* influenced my thinking at the time. 

I moved on to such teachers/spiritual gurus as *Ram Dass* http://https://www.ramdass.org/  *Krishnamurti* http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jiddu_Krishnamurti  and *Pema Chodron* http://pemachodronfoundation.org/ as well as several others in the same areas of philosophy.

I was also oddly influenced by a science fiction book by *Olaf Stapledon "First & Last Men"* http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Last_and_First_Men I have reread it a couple of times and its always intrigued me.

More recently *Greg Braden * http://www.greggbraden.com/ *Eckhart Tolle *  http://Eckhart Tolle https://www.eckharttolle.com/  *Rupert Spira* http://non-duality.rupertspira.com/home and *Stanislav Grof  *http://www.stanislavgrof.com/

What people do you feel influence(d) your development?


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## Warrigal (May 14, 2015)

Mother, aunties, Mr McPhee who was my 5th and 6th class teacher, books, books, books and my high school science teachers.


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## Ameriscot (May 14, 2015)

As an adult it would be a man I met when I was 40.  He introduced me to many ideas that I might never have found on my own, including Carl Jung, Carlos Casteneda, Paganism, other philosophers, non-mainstream religions.


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## Josiah (May 14, 2015)

I'm sorry, I missed the distinction that this thread is about influences once you were an adult, my comments are about childhood influences.

Certainly my parent's moral rectitude (sans any mention of religion), the fact that my father was so remarkably talented and respected by everyone. As a fairly young child there was a woman who was a family friend who was an accomplished classical pianist. I use to listen to her practice and she took the time to talk to me about her love of the music. There was a counselor at the summer camp I attended who noticed my interest in natural history and took me on nature hikes. Finally there was a group very bright guys I hung out with in college (I don't know why they tolerated me) I learned a lot from them. I might also point out that my parents respected each other and theirs was a marriage of equal partners,


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## Capt Lightning (May 14, 2015)

My parents, especially my mother - I never wanted to be like them!

To (almost) quote from Philip Larkin....

"They f**k you up your mum and dad
They may not mean to but they do
They fill you with the faults they had
and add some extra just for you"


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## Cookie (May 14, 2015)

Everything and everybody you interact with has an influence on your life, whether you realize it or not. Relatives and friends, writers, teachers, etc.  
I think a lot depends on how impressed you are by what people are about and how they present themselves to you. My aunt sewed her clothes and those of my cousins. I was so impressed that I bought a second hand sewing machine and began to sew my own clothes too and have been my whole life.  I had some artist friends when I was younger which inspired me to get into art, although on a much smaller scale. Without my vegetarian friends and community I would have not have had the support and opportunity to stop eating meat. There are many more examples. So we're not islands unto ourselves at all but a combination of all the people we crossed paths with.


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## AprilT (May 14, 2015)

Early on books like by Herman Hesse, there have been others, I've read along the lines of such people including the Dalai Lama 
I did take a philosophy course early college days, that had an influence to a point as did several of my college courses, mind you, I didn't complete this degree, I opted for a business degree.  My philosophy professor had an influence, he said something not so nice not to me directly, but aloud in the classroom while looking to me, after I had tried to get more time due to my not completing an assignment in a timely manner.    It stayed with me, but, he was so wrong in his assessment of me.

When I was going through some darker periods, reading books by Wayne Dyer had a big influence on me.  Reading period was a big influence on my life in general.  

One book I know in my early 20's turned my life around was a book that for some reason you would think the title would be ingrained in my memory but being what my memory is these days, only recently, I can't remember the title or author, but it was something to do with winning through intimidation something like that.  Wasn't exactly as you think it sounds, but, it helped pull me out of my shell and land me jobs.  I even ended up being mistakenly trained for a job I wasn't supposed to be trained for, I was just supposed to be a processing person and was trained by mistake for the supervisor over the receiving area room.  Boy was one of the guys in the other receiving area pissed when they decided to leave me in the job.  Boy was I stupid for not asking for a raise.  Guess, I hadn't learned enough from the book at the time, but it did help me put my best foot forward from then on.

But over all, my personality was mainly developed by my parents early influence, they were very loving to me, though with faults do to their own inner dysfunctions.  If not for the people who touched my life early on, I'm not sure my heart would be as loving toward most folks as it is no matter what all the truly horrific encounters I've faced along the way.  The influences since have only help to enhance and help me understand some of the faults of myself and others and why I can and do forgive even the worst at times.  Maybe not so forgiving in the moment, but, I do see the motivation behind the person and will listen, won't condone, but, I do understand where it's coming from and can feel sadness on top of the anger for them.

Speaking of books, you really want to understand people, a great book to read, "The Psychopath Next Door"  I'm sure you'll see a number of people you know in it.  LOL!  well maybe not so funny.  It's not just about psychopaths, talks about the theories of good and evil and all that wonderful stuff in general.  A really interesting read.

http://www.amazon.com/Sociopath-Nex...9705&sr=1-1&keywords=the+psychopath+next+door


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## Cookie (May 14, 2015)

April, I've got that e-book on hold at my public library and looking forward to it, and I had a Wayne Dyer phase for a while too.


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## Shalimar (May 14, 2015)

I am looking forward to reading the Sociopath book. Wayne Dyer and his simplistic optimism approach to life makes steam come out my ears. Bad, bad, therapisseds! Put that stun gun down!!


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## AprilT (May 14, 2015)

Cookie said:


> April, I've got that e-book on hold at my public library and looking forward to it, and I had a Wayne Dyer phase for a while too.




Great minds, what can I say, well, one great mind plus one partial sort of half functioning with memory lost full of it great mind


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## AprilT (May 14, 2015)

Shalimar said:


> I am looking forward to reading the Sociopath book. Wayne Dyer and his simplistic optimism approach to life makes steam come out my ears. Bad, bad, therapisseds! Put that stun gun down!!



Maybe, I haven't read Dyer in years, but, when I was in my early 30's he was a lifesaver for me, literally.  There are books I read 20 years ago, if I were to read them now they may not have the same influence or I may see them as hokey, I can't really say, I haven't read one of his books in a very long time, but back then, it was very helpful for the state of mind I was in which was during a lot of family losses.  I was never one to seek help for others, books were my solace then and there were some words in one of his books that really helped pull me out of a dark place.


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## Shalimar (May 14, 2015)

April, I apologize if it seems I have disregarded the solace you found in Dyer's books. That was never my intent. I am glad they helped you find a way out of the pit. :love_heart:


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## Cookie (May 14, 2015)

I'll admit I've read plenty of questionable stuff.  Of course in my day,  everyone was reading Khalil Gibran and Herman Hesse, etc. I'll admit I even read Lobsang Rampa and Edgar Cayce, then later Ram Dass, etc. -- anything I could get my hands on, along those lines. There, now you know LOL


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## AprilT (May 14, 2015)

Shalimar said:


> April, I apologize if it seems I have disregarded the solace you found in Dyer's books. That was never my intent. I am glad they helped you find a way out of the pit. :love_heart:



Oh, Shalimar, no apology needed, I respect your opinion on the matter, it is quite possible, I wouldn't find the Dyer books helpful today, I may find them as you do if I were to try to read them now, there are materials that once seemed so earth shattering to our minds as our learning expands, those thoughts and ideas may seem obscure or for a lack of a more sophisticated word, hokey to our minds at a later date.  LOL!  I wasn't offended, just wanted to give an explanation why the books were important in that point in time in my life.


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## merlin (May 14, 2015)

AprilT said:


> Speaking of books, you really want to understand people, a great book to read, "The Psychopath Next Door"  I'm sure you'll see a number of people you know in it.  LOL!  well maybe not so funny.  It's not just about psychopaths, talks about the theories of good and evil and all that wonderful stuff in general.  A really interesting read.
> 
> http://www.amazon.com/Sociopath-Nex...9705&sr=1-1&keywords=the+psychopath+next+door



Yes I have read it April and thought was excellent. Another one that I found to be a good read was Jon Ronson's "The Psychopath Test" quite disturbing in places, though it has a humorous style to it as well:



> This is a story about madness. It all starts when journalist Jon Ronson is contacted by a leading neurologist. She and several colleagues have recently received a cryptically puzzling book in the mail, sent anonymously, and Jon is challenged to solve the mystery behind it. As he searches for the answer, Jon soon finds himself, unexpectedly, on an utterly compelling and often unbelievable adventure into the world of madness.
> 
> Jon meets a Broadmoor inmate who swears he faked a mental disorder to get a lighter sentence but is now stuck there, with nobody believing he’s sane. He meets some of the people who catalogue mental illness, and those who vehemently oppose them. He meets the influential psychologist who developed the industry standard Psychopath Test and who is convinced that many important CEOs and politicians are in fact psychopaths.
> 
> ...


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## Shalimar (May 14, 2015)

Cookie, I still enjoy Kahlil Gibran.


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## Cookie (May 14, 2015)

He's a good one with a lot of wisdom.  I really should have studied him more carefully.


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## AprilT (May 14, 2015)

merlin said:


> Yes I have read it April and thought was excellent. Another one that I found to be a good read was Jon Ronson's "The Psychopath Test" quite disturbing in places, though it has a humorous style to it as well:



I'll  look for a copy of this one at my library, sounds quite interesting.  I've always had a fascination with this sort of thing, due to being a target.  You would think by now, I would have learned my lesson, but, I guess I'm  just a masochist with a death wish who keeps dodging the bullet for now anyway.  

This is also one of the reasons, I loved the final chapter of one of Camus' books The Stranger, growing up, all the fairytales and always in life believing some are redeemable, these types of reading helps someone that was so delusional, put things into perspective.  Mostly, I enjoyed that last chapter because, the writing didn't play into the fairytale end of one seeing the light of redemption and changing suddenly buying into something as if that is as it  is and will be if you know what I mean if you read "The Stranger."


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## Shalimar (May 14, 2015)

Merlin, I also found The Psychopath Test fascinating. I must admit, there were times while reading it, I found refuge in my own black humour. It was heavy stuff. I doubt that a 'normal' person would do the type of work that so many of us in the 'psychological' professions do. It is very emotionally taxing work, with an unbelievably high attrition rate. So yes, People, therapists etc, are weird! Myself especially.lol.


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## AprilT (May 14, 2015)

Shalimar, Merlin, I don't know if either of you watch, TV, but if you do, have you seen Hannibal?  I know it's fictitious but it's beautifully filmed and quite an interesting show though gruesome, but the psychology cat and mouse in it is quite fascinating to watch.  The third season will be starting back up next month.  The will character is really the more interesting one, being he lives on the fringe of his madness and struggles with good and bad parallels as were, we know Hannibal hasn't any quarrels about who he serves, though he considers his deeds righteous.  Take out some of the gore and it's really a terrific show.


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## Shalimar (May 14, 2015)

April, I haven't seen Hannibal. I am uncertain if it is available through my cable package. I enjoyed watching the police series with Gillian Anderson, although I can't recall the name.


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## merlin (May 14, 2015)

Shalimar said:


> Merlin, I also found The Psychopath Test fascinating. I must admit, there were times while reading it, I found refuge in my own black humour. It was heavy stuff. I doubt that a 'normal' person would do the type of work that so many of us in the 'psychological' professions do. It is very emotionally taxing work, with an unbelievably high attrition rate. So yes, People, therapists etc, are weird! Myself especially.lol.



Weird is more interesting Shali,  :turnaround: normal can be pretty boring at times. During my time as a therapist I learnt how to spot Psychopaths/Sociopaths pretty well, and looking back realised I had met several during my earlier life. We all of course have some psychopathic traits, I tracked my own down as part of the process. :magnify:


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## merlin (May 14, 2015)

AprilT said:


> Shalimar, Merlin, I don't know if either of you watch, TV, but if you do, have you seen Hannibal?  I know it's fictitious but it's beautifully filmed and quite an interesting show though gruesome, but the psychology cat and mouse in it is quite fascinating to watch.  The third season will be starting back up next month.  The will character is really the more interesting one, being he lives on the fringe of his madness and struggles with good and bad parallels as were, we know Hannibal hasn't any quarrels about who he serves, though he considers his deeds righteous.  Take out some of the gore and it's really a terrific show.



No I haven't seen Hannibal April, I see it gets good reviews, I will look into its availability over here.


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## Shalimar (May 14, 2015)

Merlin, I always suspected you of being pathological! Gotcha! Lol.:love_heart: I, of course, am  a bringer of pleasure and pain, my pleasure, and their pain! FOTFLMHO.


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## Lon (May 14, 2015)

Is there something wrong with me that I can't think of one single person that helped influence who and what I am as a adult. I had good parents & teachers and I certainly admired many writers and thinkers over the years, but can't for the life of me single out one person.


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## AprilT (May 14, 2015)

No Lon, you are a  perfect specimen of your very own accord, not sure why you would be concerned.


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## merlin (May 14, 2015)

Shalimar said:


> Merlin, I always suspected you of being pathological! Gotcha! Lol.:love_heart: I, of course, am  a bringer of pleasure and pain, my pleasure, and their pain! FOTFLMHO.



Pleasure and Pain are inseparable in my pathological world dear Shali, you can do your worst sweet siren that you are :love_heart:


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## Shalimar (May 14, 2015)

Wow, Merlin, this Mermaid is the closest to the real me yet! Especially the derrière! Lol. Sweet sorcerer, do sit on this rock with me and play awhile...perhaps you will be glamoured.:love_heart:


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## merlin (May 14, 2015)

Shalimar said:


> Wow, Merlin, this Mermaid is the closest to the real me yet! Especially the derrière! Lol. Sweet sorcerer, do sit on this rock with me and play awhile...perhaps you will be glamoured.:love_heart:



You know full well I am already totally glamoured/enamoured with your siren ways, :love_heart:


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## AprilT (May 14, 2015)

Kayak has some great deals on hotel rooms.  layful:


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## merlin (May 14, 2015)

AprilT said:


> Kayak has some great deals on hotel rooms.  layful:



Who needs a room April when you can have a fountain :love_heart:


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## AprilT (May 14, 2015)

:thumbsup: that looks so refreshing; the water that is.  Funny gotta mention, we had a couple arrested just recently for indulging on the beach and had been found guilty and will be serving time.


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## Shalimar (May 14, 2015)

April, indulging in nudity, or sex, or both? You get jail time for this? Wow.


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## Shalimar (May 14, 2015)

Shhhh. April. I am not certain interspecies frolicking is strictly legal.


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## merlin (May 14, 2015)

Shalimar said:


> Shhhh. April. I am not certain interspecies frolicking is strictly legal.



You forget the powers of a sorcerer who has a vast knowledge of alchemy and more


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## Shalimar (May 14, 2015)

Ooooh! Merlin the shapeshifter. A totally unforeseen aspect to your persona. I like it.


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## Cookie (May 14, 2015)

AprilT said:


> :thumbsup: that looks so refreshing; the water that is.  Funny gotta mention, we had a couple arrested just recently for indulging on the beach and had been found guilty and will be serving time.



Wot?  Don't you have nude beaches there?  So sad.


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## AprilT (May 14, 2015)

I guess because others including children were present and acording to the report they were asked to stop and didn't.  Something like that here's the article.  It was all over our news.






http://patch.com/florida/bradenton/sex-beach-couple-found-guilty-0


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## Cookie (May 14, 2015)

Wow! 15 years time - shocking.  here I believe public sex is $2000 fine or 6 months jail time, from what I've read.


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## merlin (May 14, 2015)

Shalimar said:


> Ooooh! Merlin the shapeshifter. A totally unforeseen aspect to your persona. I like it.



I have many unforeseen aspects Shali, I do at times have to glance in the mirror to discover who I am


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## AprilT (May 14, 2015)

Cookie said:


> Wow! 15 years time - shocking.  here I believe public sex is $2000 fine or 6 months jail time, from what I've read.




I guess it had something to with the guy's priors and violations in similar past cases or something like that, I would have to read more up on it to be certain, but, people here pick and choose how and whom they will enforce certain laws upon, so, I can't say for sure why they were so hard on the couple in this case, it does seem quite overboard.  I don't recall others getting, no pun intended, such stiff sentences and I know there were cases of lewd behaviour in the past of men exposing themselves at local beaches of indulging.  I don't recall any such type of sentence.


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## Davey Jones (May 14, 2015)

AprilT said:


> :thumbsup: that looks so refreshing; the water that is.  Funny gotta mention, we had a couple arrested just recently for indulging on the beach and had been found guilty and will be serving time.



It was at a beach nearby and they will not be serving time, its totally ridiculous.


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## merlin (May 14, 2015)

AprilT said:


> I guess it had something to with the guy's priors and violations in similar past cases or something like that, I would have to read more up on it to be certain, but, people here pick and choose how and whom they will enforce certain laws upon, so, I can't say for sure why they were so hard on the couple in this case, it does seem quite overboard.  I don't recall others getting, no pun intended, such stiff sentences and I know there were cases of lewd behaviour in the past of men exposing themselves at local beaches of indulging.  I don't recall any such type of sentence.



According to the video he had previously served time for cocaine dealing, and refused a plea bargain. I guess he had had one too many "Sex on the Beach" cocktails.


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## AprilT (May 14, 2015)

Davey Jones said:


> It was at a beach nearby and they will not be serving time, its totally ridiculous.



I might have misspoke about them serving time, have they received the sentencing yet?


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## AprilT (May 14, 2015)

AprilT said:


> I might have misspoke about them serving time, have they received the sentencing yet?



I will add whether or not, they still have a lifetime sentence that will follow them for life since still they have to register as sex offenders as part of having been charged.


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## Ralphy1 (May 15, 2015)

Hmm, hope they didn't get crabs to boot...


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## Athos (May 16, 2015)

Jean Paul Sartre.


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## Kadee (May 16, 2015)

I guess I can say my mother and step father... They were both Alcoholics, As I I have mentioned in previous posts I seen and suffered way to muchas a result of their abuse of us, I declared from a young age that I would NEVER drink or smoke I'm 70 next year and so far have never drank or smoked ,sure I have tested beer but was never even tempted to try ciggaretes..


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