# Daughter moving overseas



## livinsimply (Aug 20, 2016)

My only daughter just returned from a vacation in Italy.  When she got home, she announced that she plans to move there in a couple of years.  She is going there for Thanksgiving and Christmas.  My husband and I are getting older and have to desire to make such a drastic move.   I'm 70 and my husband is 68.  Sadly, she is our only child.  We have one grown grandson who lives in Colorado (we're in Florida).  Our granddaughter will be attending college (in the U.S.), and our 9-year-old grandson will accompany his mother. 

I am happy and excited for her, but it is also hard to deal with.  She lives about 800 miles away now, but we do see each other several times a year.

Has anyone dealt with this type of situation?


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## Ameriscot (Aug 20, 2016)

Can your daughter legally move to Italy?  Would she qualify for a work visa, ancestry visa, etc?  Many people think they can just pick up and move to another country, but are disapppinted to find they can't.  Often, people fall in love with a country when they visit and want to move there, but vacations and living somewhere are very different.


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## livinsimply (Aug 20, 2016)

Her father was Italian, and she's in the process of trying to obtain dual citizenship, so we will see.  I agree that the mystique of a vacation visit is a lot different than living somewhere.


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## Ameriscot (Aug 20, 2016)

livinsimply said:


> Her father was Italian, and she's in the process of trying to obtain dual citizenship, so we will see.  I agree that the mystique of a vacation visit is a lot different than living somewhere.



Ah, I see.  Has she spent a lot of time in Italy?  Does she speak Italian?


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## Ameriscot (Aug 20, 2016)

I moved abroad when my kids were grown, but I see my family once a year.  So I can understand how you would miss her and your grandson.


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## Ruth n Jersey (Aug 20, 2016)

I feel for you. Just until recently my only daughter was always on the move. Her husband is in the military. Now she is about 5 hours away and finally my Grand kids are realizing that they have an Oma. At least I have my son nearby. A couple of years is a long time, many things can change by then. Cross that bridge when you come to it.


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## livinsimply (Aug 20, 2016)

I should have clarified - he was of Italian descent but born and raised in U.S. She is now learning Italian.


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## livinsimply (Aug 20, 2016)

You are so right.  Time will tell.  Still absorbing it I guess, but I will take your advice.


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## debbie in seattle (Aug 20, 2016)

One of my friends daughter decided to work for the International School, she's a teacher.   She started out in Tokyo and stayed for two years and is on her second year in Germany.  She loves it and the world travels she gets to experience now are amazing.  Yes, mom and dad miss her terribly, but she manages to come home or meet up with them 2-3 times a year.   The mom's health is  terrible, but as much as she wants her daughter close by, she wants her to enjoy and live her life.


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## fureverywhere (Aug 20, 2016)

Oy, first off don't get all freaked ahead of time. Things can certainly change. If she decides to go...
You have a good excuse to visit Italy a few times a year
With Skype and the right phone plan you can " visit" every weekend if you wish.
But really...stay calm and carry on.


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## Ameriscot (Aug 21, 2016)

livinsimply said:


> I should have clarified - he was of Italian descent but born and raised in U.S. She is now learning Italian.



Was he an Italian citizen?  I'm quite sure he'd need to have been a citizen for her to get an ancestry visa.  As far as I know the only country that allows you an ancestry visa because of grandparents is Ireland.

And as others said, a lot can happen in two years and she could change her mind.


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## bluebreezes (Aug 21, 2016)

Even if all the logistical pieces work out and she moves there, it may not be forever. Perhaps she'd find in a year or two that it was a great adventure but she was ready to come back to the US.  Has she explained why she wants to move to Italy and not just visit?


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## livinsimply (Aug 22, 2016)

*Reasons for moving*



bluebreezes said:


> Even if all the logistical pieces work out and she moves there, it may not be forever. Perhaps she'd find in a year or two that it was a great adventure but she was ready to come back to the US.  Has she explained why she wants to move to Italy and not just visit?



Basically, she fell in love with the lifestyle....the people, their values, the slower pace, etc.   I do feel that you are right though.  The romance may very well fade.  She's always been impulsive, and she may very well not go through with it or do it and want to come home.  Obviously, I want whatever fulfills her and gives her a good life.  I'll deal with it no matter what.  The initial shock was a bit much though.


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## livinsimply (Aug 22, 2016)

Thanks for all these great responses.  Believe it or not, it's helped a lot.  I will not rain on her parade and will support her whatever she does.  The jury is still out as to whether it will even happen.  I want what's best for her either way, and I'll be okay.  It was just a foreign (no pun intended) concept and kind of blew me away.  I am getting used to the idea now and will be OK no matter what as long as she is content.  Again, thanks so much for the reassurance and insight.


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## Byrd (Aug 22, 2016)

Moving abroad permanently is a big thing. Speaking for myself, I've never much regretted the move although it was an impulsive thing as well, but have been home sick in the early years a lot. It could easily have gone the other way, but my wife made sure it didn't. I still go back on vacation from time to time to see the kids, but getting too old for all the back and forth.


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## Bobw235 (Aug 22, 2016)

As one whose only son moved over to England, you get used to them not being here physically, but as Fur said earlier, there are so many ways to keep in touch these days that it makes the absence easier to bear. We see our son on video every couple of weeks along with the grandkids. Yesterday spent a good 20 minutes catching up on a video call. It really helps.  As others have said, this is still a ways off and may never happen. Still time for your daughter to change her mind.


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## jujube (Aug 22, 2016)

Living abroad can have its difficulties. 

My nephew has been teaching school in China since January.  Three weeks ago, the police showed up at the school, confiscated the passports of all the American teachers and told them that their resident/work visas were being revoked and they'd have 10 days to get out of the country.  The official explanation was that two of the American teachers didn't have quite the qualifications they were supposed to have, so all Americans were being kicked out of the school.  Theory is that the school had missed a bribe or something and was being punished by being stripped of all their American teachers.  

As soon as his passport was returned, he got out of Dodge as soon as he could and went to Taiwan, where he immediately got another teaching position.  He's spending this week apartment hunting. 

I think he's going to be MUCH happier in Taiwan.


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