# Weren't we more on our own?



## fuzzybuddy (Apr 1, 2016)

Yeah, things change. I'm not sure it was just my family or what. But 70 years ago, parents were much more hands off, and we were mostly on our own. No, I don't mean we weren't loved, unfed, and thrown out in the cold; but  parents back then weren't so into their kids lives, as it seems today?


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## Wrigley's (Apr 1, 2016)

That made us more responsible and aware of consequences.

Speaking of consequences, dads were more hands on than dads today are.


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## Mrs. Robinson (Apr 1, 2016)

Wrigley's said:


> Speaking of consequences, dads were more hands on than dads today are.



I`m not sure about that. Looking at my son and sons in law,I think Dads are much more hands on today. I think years ago,Dads were made to be much more the "bad guy" ("just you wait til your father gets home")but today,while they do still share in the disciplining,they ar much more involved in the day to day lives of their kids. That`s been my experience anyway.


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## vickyNightowl (Apr 1, 2016)

I see from my in laws and my dad that they had to work to get the mere necessities and that was what 'love' was.

Now all the video games and all the junl food and all the too many choices and still its not enough for the kids today.

You work,they ccomplain.youuuu don't work,they ccomplain they don't have enough crap.

I saw all the Greek families around me still babying their kids.when my son moved out at 20 years old,my spouse was upset ,I was sas but realised its his life aand this is what we are meant to do,give them the tools to be able to survive and fend for themselves.
Ii warned him that I can't help him monetary wise if he leaves and he was ok with that.
5 years later,he is becoming a great man with the passing of each day.

I find now,that parents are too soft,not enough rules.the kids are making the demands aand the parents obey.

As for the fathers being more back then,I find men today are more attentive to their kids but not because there was a lack of love like youu say,but because men were mostly the bread winners back then.


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## mattc (Apr 1, 2016)

i think the world was considered safer and that led to being expected to go out on your own a bit more.today it seems we feel there is high risk in children being on their own so we are protective and then it continues on into young adulthood.


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## BlunderWoman (Apr 1, 2016)

mattc said:


> i think the world was considered safer and that led to being expected to go out on your own a bit more.today it seems we feel there is high risk in children being on their own so we are protective and then it continues on into young adulthood.


I agree . Back then we were hearing about pedophiles on tv all the time, etc. Kids were given much more freedom to ride bikes for hours, etc.


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## Wrigley's (Apr 1, 2016)

Mrs. Robinson said:


> I`m not sure about that. Looking at my son and sons in law,I think Dads are much more hands on today. I think years ago,Dads were made to be much more the "bad guy" ("just you wait til your father gets home")but today,while they do still share in the disciplining,they ar much more involved in the day to day lives of their kids. That`s been my experience anyway.



disciplining is the kind of hands-on I meant.


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## fureverywhere (Apr 1, 2016)

("just you wait til your father gets home")

Please, please I WANTED my Dad to get home, when Mom got mad she could be a force of nature.

But yeah as I've posted before during our grade school years a huge construction site was our playground. All the kids on our block were middle class and well cared for. But it was just understood, you get home from school and go out to play till dark. On the weekend the same thing...after cartoons you were out with your friends for the day.


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## jujube (Apr 1, 2016)

As long as I showed up for dinner with all four limbs and both eyes intact, my mother was satisfied.


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## fureverywhere (Apr 1, 2016)

Yup undress in the basement and throw everything in the washer...but dinner time now, you're good.


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## Guitarist (Apr 1, 2016)

About 30 years ago it was a big deal for parents to find "quality time" with their kids because they were both working outside the home and they and the kids were into so many other activities as well that there was a thing about making up for lack of quantity by making the few brief periods of time with the kids "quality" time.  I don't know if that is still a fad because the parents I know now have grown kids and even grandkids.  But when I was a kid most mothers did not work outside the home (they worked all day IN it!) and they were just there for us kids.  We weren't inside with them all the time, we played outdoors all over the neighborhood on our own, but all the mothers more or less knew each other and they were there for us; there was no "quality" time -- we were just all "around."


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## Butterfly (Apr 1, 2016)

mattc said:


> i think the world was considered safer and that led to being expected to go out on your own a bit more.today it seems we feel there is high risk in children being on their own so we are protective and then it continues on into young adulthood.



The world WAS a safer place when I was a kid (at least it was in the area WHERE I was a kid).  In my neighborhood there was a sort of unspoken cooperative among parents that everybody looked out for everybody else's kids, too, as in "ALL you kids get out of there, there might be snakes!"  Nowdays somebody would pop out of their house and say "don't tell MY kid what to do!"  Back then, mom would say "You heard Mrs. Smith -- get out of there like she told you to."

And back then, somebody else could help you if you fell off your bike and hurt yourself -- they could patch you up and take you home without fear of being accused of child abduction or pedophilia.

We walked to school everyday in groups, without parental supervision.  I saw in the news yesterday where a mother got in trouble with the authorities for "making" her children walk to school because they had fooled around and missed the schoolbus -- not far, either, and she was following along behind them in the car.  My sister and I walked to school every day from grade school on up, and it didn't damage us any.

If we had demanded that we have the latest doodad because "everyone else" had one, my dad would have laughed himself silly.  

Many (if not most) parents are way too soft on their kids today, and coddle them to a point where they grow up to be self-entitled and don't know how to manage on their own.  From my parents I learned how to be responsible, accept the consequences of my actions, take care of myself, respect others, and to work for what I wanted, not expect it to be handed to me on a platter.  Those lessons have served me well.


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## SifuPhil (Apr 1, 2016)

Butterfly said:


> The world WAS a safer place when I was a kid (at least it was in the area WHERE I was a kid).  In my neighborhood there was a sort of unspoken cooperative among parents that everybody looked out for everybody else's kids, too, as in "ALL you kids get out of there, there might be snakes!"  Nowdays somebody would pop out of their house and say "don't tell MY kid what to do!"  Back then, mom would say "You heard Mrs. Smith -- get out of there like she told you to."
> 
> And back then, somebody else could help you if you fell off your bike and hurt yourself -- they could patch you up and take you home without fear of being accused of child abduction or pedophilia.
> 
> ...



Boy, how true!

Yet, people look back at (in my case) the late '50's / early '60's and say "Oh, it was a regressive time - a time of Neanderthals". No, there were a LOT of wonderful things about those times. In fact, one of the central themes of my book _The Great Hamster Land-Speed Record _is the freedom that we kids had to do (mainly) stupid things, but also the learning opportunity it presented to us. 

Nowadays the kids are _given_ their learning "opportunities" in the comfort of their air-conditioned / heated McMansions, usually through the liberal application of _mucho dolares._


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## Butterfly (Apr 2, 2016)

SifuPhil said:


> Boy, how true!
> 
> Yet, people look back at (in my case) the late '50's / early '60's and say "Oh, it was a regressive time - a time of Neanderthals". No, there were a LOT of wonderful things about those times. In fact, one of the central themes of my book _The Great Hamster Land-Speed Record _is the freedom that we kids had to do (mainly) stupid things, but also the learning opportunity it presented to us.
> 
> Nowadays the kids are _given_ their learning "opportunities" in the comfort of their air-conditioned / heated McMansions, usually through the liberal application of _mucho dolares._



In my case, back then was about the same time -- although probably mid 50s to early 60s.  And yeah, we had a lot of opportunity to learn interesting lessons, too  -- do not try to pick cactus apples;  make sure you've REALLY got a shot at getting over a big hole in the ground before you try to jump over it to be cool; car trunks are not the best place to be for very long (trying to smuggle 18 kids into a drive-in theater that has a "per person" price), and be sure someone has a key to said trunk; your mother has special radar that lets her know when you're lying to her about where you've been; if you sneak out your bedroom window your dad will plant a big, fat rosebush under it; and, most important of all -- do not jump on trampolines wearing pants with no "give" in them.  Oh, yeah, and don't put your deceased rats from your science project into the freezer or your mother will have a COW!!!  AND, your parents will NOT take your side if you are caught doing something you're not supposed to be doing (like sneaking into a movie theatre) -- they'll stand by and watch as the wrath of the establishment falls down on you and you become convinced you'll be doing life in a federal penitentiary for felony sneaking.


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## SifuPhil (Apr 2, 2016)

Boy, I have to convince you to be a contributor to my next book ...


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## jujube (Apr 2, 2016)

SifuPhil said:


> Boy, how true!
> 
> Yet, people look back at (in my case) the late '50's / early '60's and say "Oh, it was a regressive time - a time of Neanderthals". No, there were a LOT of wonderful things about those times. In fact, one of the central themes of my book _The Great Hamster Land-Speed Record _is *the freedom that we kids had to do (mainly) stupid things, but also the learning opportunity it presented to us.
> *
> Nowadays the kids are _given_ their learning "opportunities" in the comfort of their air-conditioned / heated McMansions, usually through the liberal application of _mucho dolares._



You mean lessons like the fact that you _can't_ jump off the garage roof with an umbrella and expect to float to the ground?  And trying to ride a bicycle along the top of a fence isn't as easy as it looks?   And that cats don't care to be baptized?  Yeah, we learned lessons like that the hard way.


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## SifuPhil (Apr 2, 2016)

jujube said:


> You mean lessons like the fact that you _can't_ jump off the garage roof with an umbrella and expect to float to the ground?  And trying to ride a bicycle along the top of a fence isn't as easy as it looks?   And that cats don't care to be baptized?  Yeah, we learned lessons like that the hard way.



All those things SHOULD have worked! The science was all there, the conditions were perfect ... I just don't know where we went wrong ...


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## Butterfly (Apr 2, 2016)

SifuPhil said:


> All those things SHOULD have worked! The science was all there, the conditions were perfect ... I just don't know where we went wrong ...



I know!  My cousin, a big fan of Tarzan, tied a garden hose to the chimney of our friend's house and tried to swing on it a la Tarzan's vine over the fence into the yard next door.  It didn't quite work out that way.  Boy, did we all catch hell over that one!  Hey -- I was just a spectator!


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## Pinky (Apr 2, 2016)

I was a real tomboy .. climbed onto sheds and jumped from roof to roof, dropped out of the 2nd story window of my girlfriend's house (we were sneaking out after dark), climbed huge coke piles (like coal, but lighter) - could have gotten buried in them. No wonder my knees are wrecked. Those were the days though, so much fun!


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## fureverywhere (Apr 2, 2016)

In my time it was Evil Knieval and even though one boy broke an arm doing the ramps...yup they could do this thing.


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## SifuPhil (Apr 2, 2016)

Butterfly, Pinky, great stories! 

And here I thought I was the only one crazy enough to do stuff like that ...


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## Pinky (Apr 2, 2016)

I hate to admit that nowadays I'm afraid to go out in winter, lest I should slip and fall on ice. This from a once big roller coaster aficianado. When we lived in Vancouver, my brother and I loved going to Capilano to run across the old suspension bridge. I was disappointed to see how safe and sturdy the new bridge was.


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## SifuPhil (Apr 2, 2016)

We used to have the roller skates that clamped onto your sneakers. Heavy, all-metal things. 

We'd start at the top of our driveway, shove off and fly downhill until we hit the ramp we put at the curb, launching us into the air and into the street.

A lot of drivers taught us colorful vocabularies. 

We also used to race around in my basement, smashing into things, laughing, getting up and going at it again like demons.


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## jumpdawg (Apr 2, 2016)

We don' even have to go that far back. Just 20 or 30 years ago pot was illegal and you could smoke anywhere, now pot is legal and you can't smoke anywhere. 

go figure


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## SifuPhil (Apr 2, 2016)

jumpdawg said:


> We don' even have to go that far back. Just 20 or 30 years ago pot was illegal and you could smoke anywhere, now pot is legal and you can't smoke anywhere.
> 
> go figure



LOL - how true!


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## Butterfly (Apr 2, 2016)

SifuPhil said:


> We used to have the roller skates that clamped onto your sneakers. Heavy, all-metal things.
> 
> We'd start at the top of our driveway, shove off and fly downhill until we hit the ramp we put at the curb, launching us into the air and into the street.
> 
> ...



I remember those rollerskates!   We had a big hill on one of our  neighborhood streets and we used to race down it.  It's a wonder any of  us grew up alive, but we did!

We learned the colorful vocabularies from drivers trying to get through our street softball games.  Lesson learned there:  Do NOT slide into third on blacktop pavement.


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## SifuPhil (Apr 2, 2016)

We used to play baseball (with regular bats and balls) on the street in front of my house. Across the street were thick woods, that led down several hundred feet at a sharp angle to another road below.

Every so often there'd be a high fly ball, and one of the neighborhood kids would yell "I got it!" as he backed up closer and closer to those woods ...

Johnny Jones and Teddy Smith were never seen again.


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## BlunderWoman (Apr 2, 2016)

I think a movie that brought back my feeling of the years I grew up in more than any other was The Sandlot. I laughed so hard all through the movie. If you have never seen it I give it a big thumbs up


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## Guitarist (Apr 2, 2016)

SifuPhil said:


> Boy, how true!
> 
> Yet, people look back at (in my case) the late '50's / early '60's and say "Oh, it was a regressive time - a time of Neanderthals". No, there were a LOT of wonderful things about those times. In fact, one of the central themes of my book _The Great Hamster Land-Speed Record _is the freedom that we kids had to do (mainly) stupid things, but also the learning opportunity it presented to us.



I've read things online where people say that those days never existed, that programs like "Leave It To Beaver" and "Father Knows Best" weren't the way the world really was, nobody really had parents and neighborhoods and a life like that.

But we did.  It was real.


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## Bobw235 (Apr 2, 2016)

A great thread!  In my early youth (say early to mid 60s) I can recall being allowed to ride my bike *anywhere!  *As someone said earlier, just make sure you were home for dinner.  In my house there was hell to pay for not being home and at the table for dinner.  I remember riding all over town.  

I don't know how it was for other guys, but I was taught that you stand up for yourself and sometimes that meant fist fights.  My mom told me how she watched from a window and let me beat the snot out of the older boy across the street (who was simultaneously my best friend and the kid I was always fighting with).  Ah yes, good times.


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## chic (Apr 3, 2016)

mattc said:


> i think the world was considered safer and that led to being expected to go out on your own a bit more.today it seems we feel there is high risk in children being on their own so we are protective and then it continues on into young adulthood.



I agree. The world is too dangerous now. I used to walk to school with my girlfriends everyday and it was quite a hike. Now, for fear of serial ****** predators, parents arrange to drive kids to school and I think it's a good idea. Better to be safe and overcautious than to lose a child.


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## Wrigley's (Apr 3, 2016)

Bobw235 said:


> A great thread!  In my early youth (say early to mid 60s) I can recall being allowed to ride my bike *anywhere!  *As someone said earlier, just make sure you were home for dinner.  In my house there was hell to pay for not being home and at the table for dinner.  I remember riding all over town.
> 
> I don't know how it was for other guys, but I was taught that you stand up for yourself and sometimes that meant fist fights. * My mom told me how she watched from a window and let me beat the snot out of the older boy across the street* (who was simultaneously my best friend and the kid I was always fighting with).  Ah yes, good times.



That's how my folks were, too. I grew up in a big city, so no wide open spaces for us. But we'd ride our bikes in packs over every flat inch through several city blocks. Fights happened at least a couple times a week - on the 'wrong' street at the wrong time, someone wanted your bike, or your transistor radio, or your new converse sneakers. Or your Keds, for that matter. But there was safety in numbers, and it didn't hurt that our dad taught us how to fight....with and without gloves.

I honestly don't think a pedophile would have stood a chance.


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## Pinky (Apr 3, 2016)

Those metal clamp-on roller skates were great. I went everywhere on those things - until the metal wheels developed holes, and mom refused to buy another pair. According to her, I was 'getting too big', meaning it was time to stop being a tomboy.

I was into baseball until the day I was pitcher, and the batter made a magnificent (and very straight) hit, directly into my eye. That, and a slingshot hit from nowhere in junior high that turned my eye around in it's socket, started my eyeglass wearing days.

Being a quiet, shy little girl, and a year younger than everyone else in grade 1, made me a target for the schoolyard bully .. redheaded Harvey. Little did he know that I was also feisty if goaded. He found out the day he pushed me off a swing, and I turned around and gave him a bloody nose. He was so shocked, and as far as I know, the school didn't get in touch with my parents.


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## BlunderWoman (Apr 3, 2016)

I always had bloody knees from those clamp on skates. It's a wonder I have no scarred up knees. I always had two big scabs on my knees LOL

Just realized what I've said..no comments from the peanut gallery plz


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## BlunderWoman (Apr 3, 2016)

We had swing set with a slide with a small go cart that went down the slide. My sister had a crush on the boy across the street so she thought she would impress him with a daredevil stunt. She put a big box under the end of the slide. Her plan was to ride the go cart to the end of the slide and glide through the air into a landing. What did happen was that she got to the end of the slide & the go cart flipped face down and she broke her nose. She was bloody and snotty and crying & had to go to the hospital. When she got back she was very sad because the boy had seen her fail and all messy. I remember saying to her " You're supposed to just shake your butt from side to side like this..that's what the women in the movies do. None of them do stunts."


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## Wrigley's (Apr 3, 2016)

BlunderWoman said:


> I always had bloody knees from those clamp on skates. It's a wonder I have no scarred up knees. I always had two big scabs on my knees LOL
> 
> Just realized what I've said..no comments from the peanut gallery plz



Every time we got new jeans mom sewed big denim squares on the knees. Not so much to protect our knees but so she wouldn't have to buy new jeans again the very next day. We were embarrassed about the patches. Made us feel like babies, so we drew skulls and snakes and stuff on them. Badass baby patches. I got a whipping from dad when I wrote a profanity on mine but he didn't mind the drawings even when they were gruesome. Probably they were gruesome only to us.


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## BlunderWoman (Apr 3, 2016)

Wrigley's said:


> Every time we got new jeans mom sewed big denim squares on the knees. Not so much to protect our knees but so she wouldn't have to buy new jeans again the very next day. We were embarrassed about the patches. Made us feel like babies, so we drew skulls and snakes and stuff on them. Badass baby patches. I got a whipping from dad when I wrote a profanity on mine but he didn't mind the drawings even when they were gruesome. Probably they were gruesome only to us.


hahahaha


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## SifuPhil (Apr 3, 2016)

Pinky said:


> ... Being a quiet, shy little girl, and a year younger than everyone else in grade 1, made me a target for the schoolyard bully .. redheaded Harvey. Little did he know that I was also feisty if goaded. He found out the day he pushed me off a swing, and I turned around and gave him a bloody nose. He was so shocked, and as far as I know, the school didn't get in touch with my parents.



Those redheads - boy, you have to watch out for them! 

I think every schoolyard had a redheaded Harvey - something to do with school regulations.


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## Pinky (Apr 3, 2016)

I wonder if the fact that I've always been attracted to redheads since then, says something about me. Hmmmm ...


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## SifuPhil (Apr 3, 2016)

Pinky said:


> I wonder if the fact that I've always been attracted to redheads since then, says something about me. Hmmmm ...




Oh, boy, here we go ...

*pulls out his worn copy of Freud's "_The Ego and the Id_"*


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## Pinky (Apr 3, 2016)

BlunderWoman said:


> We had swing set with a slide with a small go cart that went down the slide. My sister had a crush on the boy across the street so she thought she would impress him with a daredevil stunt. She put a big box under the end of the slide. Her plan was to ride the go cart to the end of the slide and glide through the air into a landing. What did happen was that she got to the end of the slide & the go cart flipped face down and she broke her nose. She was bloody and snotty and crying & had to go to the hospital. When she got back she was very sad because the boy had seen her fail and all messy. I remember saying to her " You're supposed to just shake your butt from side to side like this..that's what the women in the movies do. None of them do stunts."



BW, I can relate to your sister, but could have used a sensible friend like you.


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## Pinky (Apr 3, 2016)

SifuPhil said:


> Oh, boy, here we go ...
> 
> *pulls out his worn copy of Freud's "_The Ego and the Id_"*



Okay .. I'm on the couch.


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## Shalimar (Apr 3, 2016)

C'mon Dr. McPhilly, let's hear your diagnosis.......zzzzzzzzzz. Oops, sorry, dozed off. Lol.


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## BlunderWoman (Apr 3, 2016)

Pinky said:


> BW, I can relate to your sister, but could have used a sensible friend like you.



hahaha I think that might be the first time anyone called me sensible. Thanks 

I didn't have any common sense. I have no idea how I'm still alive. I think I thought I was invincible or something. I remember diving off this bridge called 'Devils Leap' and climbing back up there to do it again when a law officer in a boat with one of those things you yell through yelled at me to get down from there NOW. So I dove again thinking I could hide from him underwater. I had to spend the next hour explaining that I was NOT trying to kill myself especially since it wasn't even a school day


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## Pinky (Apr 3, 2016)

BlunderWoman said:


> hahaha I think that might be the first time anyone called me sensible. Thanks
> 
> I didn't have any common sense. I have no idea how I'm still alive. I think I thought I was invincible or something. I remember diving off this bridge called 'Devils Leap' and climbing back up there to do it again when a law officer in a boat with one of those things you yell through yelled at me to get down from there NOW. So I dove again thinking I could hide from him underwater. I had to spend the next hour explaining that I was NOT trying to kill myself especially since it wasn't even a school day



Definitely my kind of friend! Great story, hahaha!


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## Pinky (Apr 3, 2016)

Shalimar said:


> C'mon Dr. McPhilly, let's hear your diagnosis.......zzzzzzzzzz. Oops, sorry, dozed off. Lol.



Huh, wha..? I dozed off too. Time for coffee, then start dinner! Meanwhile, I look forward to hearing an analysis of my penchant for redheads.


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## SifuPhil (Apr 3, 2016)

Pinky said:


> Huh, wha..? I dozed off too. Time for coffee, then start dinner! Meanwhile, I look forward to hearing an analysis of my penchant for redheads.



Well, it's YOUR hour ...

Obviously you've already passed through the primitive oral phase. Remember that the character of the ego is a precipitate of abandoned object-cathexes and that it contains the history of those object-choices. 

Along with the demolition of the Oedipus complex, your female object-cathexis of red-heads must be given up. The super-ego retains the character of your father, while the more powerful the Oedipus complex was and the more rapidly it succumbed to repression, the stricter will be the domination of the super-ego over the ego later on. 

The tension between the demands of conscience and the actual performances of the ego is experienced as a sense of guilt. 

Certainly your religious, moral and ethical values cannot be properly arranged in your mind except by way of the ego, which is the representative of the external world to the id.






In other words ... you like redheads.


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## Pinky (Apr 3, 2016)

SifuPhil said:


> Well, it's YOUR hour ...
> 
> Obviously you've already passed through the primitive oral phase. Remember that the character of the ego is a precipitate of abandoned object-cathexes and that it contains the history of those object-choices.
> 
> ...



Sankyu, DocTOR, for ze velly thorough analysis!

I understood the last sentence!


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## Shalimar (Apr 3, 2016)

yep, our Philly bs good. Of course the fact he is in love with a titian haired mermaid, should in no way affect the veracity of his expertise.


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## Cookie (Apr 3, 2016)

Another good thread bites the dust! Plot lost!


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## SeaBreeze (Apr 3, 2016)

fuzzybuddy said:


> Yeah, things change. I'm not sure it was just my family or what. But 70 years ago, parents were much more hands off, and we were mostly on our own. No, I don't mean we weren't loved, unfed, and thrown out in the cold; but  parents back then weren't so into their kids lives, as it seems today?



I agree, there were really no "helicopter moms" back in the day like they are now.  I was pretty much on my own to play out in the street with my friends, roller skate, jump rope, stoop or hand ball, etc.  I had set times to come home though, for supper and before dark.  My mother would hang out the window now and then to check on me when I was younger, but that's about it.  Back then the neighbors kinda kept an eye on everyone's kids, to make sure nobody was in trouble or doing anything too dangerous.

Back then you could walk a mile or so to school on your own without it being a problem.  Nowadays, busybodies with cell phones and too much time on their hands will call the cops if they see a kid walking around on his own.  There was something in the news about a brother and sister walking together, in no distress, knew exactly where they were going...but a nosy person ended up calling the police and creating a big hassle for the parents.

Times are definitely different now, not as simple or innocent.


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## BlunderWoman (Apr 3, 2016)

SeaBreeze said:


> Back then the neighbors kinda kept an eye on everyone's kids, to make sure nobody was in trouble or doing anything too dangerous.
> 
> .


Yep back then neighbors got involved. They would come knock on your door and tell your parents they saw you smoking. I know that for a fact


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## vickyNightowl (Apr 3, 2016)

BW,lol,yes.

Now everyone goes to court.

I don't have many fond memories from back at that time but one green plastic skateboard was my love. We lived in a court and I would start at the top of one side and 'try' to make it to the other.the curve got to me most of the time.


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## Pinky (Apr 3, 2016)

Shalimar said:


> yep, our Philly bs good. Of course the fact he is in love with a titian haired mermaid, should in no way affect the veracity of his expertise.



Oh really? Anyone I know? 
I had auburn hair once, dyed of course. A wannabe redhead. 


Oops, sorry for railroading the thread!


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## BlunderWoman (Apr 3, 2016)

vickyNightowl said:


> BW,lol,yes.
> 
> Now everyone goes to court.
> 
> I don't have many fond memories from back at that time but one green plastic skateboard was my love. We lived in a court and I would start at the top of one side and 'try' to make it to the other.the curve got to me most of the time.



At least you kept trying 

My nightmare in 4th grade was a boy named Johnny Gray. Every single recess he chased me trying to kiss me until the bell rang to go back in. I was frantic running past other kids yelling " SAVE ME!" No one cared. It was horrible I tell ya. I was like that cat that runs from that skunk in the cartoons. These days, they'd probably have him or his parents up on charges.


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## Wrigley's (Apr 3, 2016)

vickyNightowl said:


> BW,lol,yes.
> 
> Now everyone goes to court.
> 
> I don't have many fond memories from back at that time but one green plastic skateboard was my love. We lived in a court and I would start at the top of one side and 'try' to make it to the other.the curve got to me most of the time.



Oh man, my skateboards were my prized possessions. When dad's business took off, we moved near the beach and I traded in my bike for a skateboard. Then more skateboards. Pretty soon I graduated to a surfboard. Ahh, the summer of '63.

Holy crap! I've been surfing for over half a century!


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## Ruth n Jersey (Apr 3, 2016)

I agree with you Butterfly, while I was growing up in the 50's all the parents in my neighborhood looked out for all of us. I remember a funny incident. My mom always made me wear leggings under my dress in the winter to keep me warm. I hated them because they were such a pain to get on and off . One day, I think I was in the first or second grade I was walking home from school and I guess I didn't button them up correctly They fell down around my ankles. I had my hands full with papers and my book bag. I stood there, in the snow, trying to figure out how to pull them up and not have my papers flying all over the place. Out of the blue came a neighborhood Mom who pulled them up, wiped my runny nose and sent me on my way. I hardly knew this women but that day I was so grateful to her. I remember my mom called her to thank her for helping me out.


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## Cookie (Apr 3, 2016)

I had a lot of freedom as a kid, exploring the neighborhood on my bike, visiting friends and coming home for supper eventually.  I think with so much access to information via books and tv, parents are now better informed on childrearing and seem to have more interest in their children than they did when I was a kid.  My parents were preoccupied with their own lives, their work, their friends and their house.  Plus the world is a much bigger place now with more people, and more dangers likely lurking than back then. I always knew where my own son was and who his friends were.  My own parents had no clue half the time what I was up to.  Parents are much less authoritarian and dictatorial now too, after the wars and 60s, they don't want to make the same mistakes their parents made.


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## SeaBreeze (Apr 3, 2016)

Cookie said:


> Another good thread bites the dust! Plot lost!


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## BlunderWoman (Apr 3, 2016)

I lived in Amber's neighborhood when she was abducted. To those of you who do not know who Amber was, she was the little girl in Arlington Texas who was abducted and murdered. Now every time a child is taken a nation wide Amber alert goes out. While it is sweet to remember the good old days, there isn't any going back.


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## SifuPhil (Apr 3, 2016)

SeaBreeze said:


> Another One Bites The Dust


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## jujube (Apr 3, 2016)

SeaBreeze said:


> I agree, there were really no "helicopter moms" back in the day like they are now.  I was pretty much on my own to play out in the street with my friends, roller skate, jump rope, stoop or hand ball, etc.  I had set times to come home though, for supper and before dark.  My mother would hang out the window now and then to check on me when I was younger, but that's about it.  Back then the neighbors kinda kept an eye on everyone's kids, to make sure nobody was in trouble or doing anything too dangerous.
> 
> *Back then you could walk a mile or so to school on your own without it being a problem*.  Nowadays, busybodies with cell phones and too much time on their hands will call the cops if they see a kid walking around on his own.  There was something in the news about a brother and sister walking together, in no distress, knew exactly where they were going...but a nosy person ended up calling the police and creating a big hassle for the parents.
> 
> Times are definitely different now, not as simple or innocent.



I did walk more than a mile to school at five years of age, in the dark, in the rain and cold and snow and crossed a major highway (with the help of the "Crossing Boys").  It was just something we had to do, but these days my parents (and many more) would have been arrested for child abuse and I would be in foster care faster than you could say "Speshul Snowflake".   

Things were a little more restricted when my daughter came along, but she also walked to school when she was five (though only four blocks)  and was flying unaccompanied at the age of five, too.  She had her first actual job at 12.  

My granddaughter, now.....I usually didn't let her out of sight but since she was doing triathlons at the age of 8 (1/2 mile open water swim, 12 mile bike, 3.1 mile run) so there were _some times_ she was out of sight.  It's amazing how long I could hold my breath.....

Little Miss Thang (my great-granddaughter), though......she's going to have a leash on her until she's 21 if I have MY way......


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## Butterfly (Apr 3, 2016)

SifuPhil said:


> Well, it's YOUR hour ...
> 
> Obviously you've already passed through the primitive oral phase. Remember that the character of the ego is a precipitate of abandoned object-cathexes and that it contains the history of those object-choices.
> 
> ...



Hmmmm ....


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## Butterfly (Apr 4, 2016)

Cookie said:


> I had a lot of freedom as a kid, exploring the neighborhood on my bike, visiting friends and coming home for supper eventually.  I think with so much access to information via books and tv, parents are now better informed on childrearing and seem to have more interest in their children than they did when I was a kid.  My parents were preoccupied with their own lives, their work, their friends and their house.  Plus the world is a much bigger place now with more people, and more dangers likely lurking than back then. I always knew where my own son was and who his friends were.  My own parents had no clue half the time what I was up to.  Parents are much less authoritarian and dictatorial now too, after the wars and 60s, they don't want to make the same mistakes their parents made.



I don't think parents were so much authoritarian and dictatorial (in a bad sense) as you just knew they meant what they said.  If the rule was "be home for dinner," you knew you damn well better be home for dinner and you complied.

In watching kids nowdays (like in Wal-Mart screaming for toys) or on the schoolground in my neighborhood (using language that would make a sailor blush and viciously beating on one another), I think kids nowdays could use a little more "authoritarian and dictatorial" at home.  If you don't learn what is acceptable behavior and what is not and how to be respectful of others and their property while you're a child, you're going to have a tough row to hoe as an adult -- or end up dead or in prison.


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## Butterfly (Apr 4, 2016)

jujube said:


> I did walk more than a mile to school at five years of age, in the dark, in the rain and cold and snow and crossed a major highway (with the help of the "Crossing Boys").  It was just something we had to do, but these days my parents (and many more) would have been arrested for child abuse and I would be in foster care faster than you could say "Speshul Snowflake".
> 
> Things were a little more restricted when my daughter came along, but she also walked to school when she was five (though only four blocks)  and was flying unaccompanied at the age of five, too.  She had her first actual job at 12.
> 
> ...



We walked to school, too, from grade school on.  It was pretty much the only way we had to get there.  School busses weren't all over the place like they are now, and my family only had one car, which my dad took to work.  Pretty much everyone walked to school, except those who came from pretty far away -- they had busses.


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## Wrigley's (Apr 4, 2016)

Butterfly said:


> I don't think parents were so much authoritarian and dictatorial (in a bad sense) as you just knew they meant what they said.  If the rule was "be home for dinner," you knew you damn well better be home for dinner and you complied.
> 
> In watching kids nowdays (like in Wal-Mart screaming for toys) or on the schoolground in my neighborhood (using language that would make a sailor blush and viciously beating on one another), I think kids nowdays could use a little more "authoritarian and dictatorial" at home.  If you don't learn what is acceptable behavior and what is not and how to be respectful of others and their property while you're a child, you're going to have a tough row to hoe as an adult -- or end up dead or in prison.



Parents weren't wrapped up in their own egos. They outgrew that when they got married. And life wasn't just about them anymore after they had kids, if it ever was. My mom always looked nice but she dressed like a mom, and she didn't mind it. Neither did dad. Or anybody. Success was having a nice house and well-behaved kids. These days it's looking like a Kardashian.


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## SifuPhil (Apr 4, 2016)

Butterfly said:


> We walked to school, too, from grade school on.  It was pretty much the only way we had to get there.  School busses weren't all over the place like they are now, and my family only had one car, which my dad took to work.  Pretty much everyone walked to school, except those who came from pretty far away -- they had busses.



I walked to school as well - at least, until 9th grade.

Grade school (1st to 6th grade) was about a mile walk, over 2 main roads and a little creek with a saggy wooden bridge surrounded by "bums". Mom would walk me when I was younger - over in the morning and back over at the end of the day. This meant 4 trips back and forth for her.

Never a complaint, in any season, and Mom had the best legs in our neighborhood. 

Once I started going on my own - maybe 2nd grade - it was a big adventure. None of my classmates lived near me, so I went it alone. Lots of side-trips to the candy store, but I was never late for class, because I knew they'd call Mom.


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## SifuPhil (Apr 4, 2016)

Wrigley's said:


> Parents weren't wrapped up in their own egos. They outgrew that when they got married. And life wasn't just about them anymore after they had kids, if it ever was. My mom always looked nice but she dressed like a mom, and she didn't mind it. Neither did dad. Or anybody. Success was having a nice house and well-behaved kids. These days it's looking like a Kardashian.



Very true. Nowadays parents are more child-like than their children. They've got their heads stuck in computers and video games and big-screen TVs while the kids are left to their own devices, no discipline, no actual "child-raising".


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## Shalimar (Apr 4, 2016)

I dunno, I raised mine, hands on. My mother had the maternal instincts of a rabid barracuda, my aunt her wannabe acolyte. I raised myself. I know many others who raised themselves also. In every generation, you can find negative examples of

parenting, kids who grow up poorly, become crappy adults. For eons, old folks have been complaining about the new generation. It's what we do. Times change, the world we remember is gone. For every crappy kid, I can show you ten good 

ones. Same with parents. Of course, the good ones don't make the news. Hell they are referred to as the "exceptions." sigh.


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## SifuPhil (Apr 4, 2016)

Shalimar said:


> I dunno, I raised mine, hands on. My mother had the maternal instincts of a rabid barracuda, my aunt her wannabe acolyte. I raised myself. I know many others who raised themselves also. In every generation, you can find negative examples of
> 
> parenting, kids who grow up poorly, become crappy adults. For eons, old folks have been complaining about the new generation. It's what we do. Times change, the world we remember is gone. For every crappy kid, I can show you ten good
> 
> ones. Same with parents. Of course, the good ones don't make the news. Hell they are referred to as the "exceptions." sigh.



I suppose so. I like to paint with a broad brush and be a fear-monger. It's sort of a hobby.


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## Shalimar (Apr 4, 2016)

Yep Philly, the allure of the negative, the painful pleasure of the glass forever empty. A tragedy in the making......very "Waiting 
For Godot." Always hated Camus. Man needed a cerebral enema, stat!


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## Cookie (Apr 4, 2016)

It all depends on what you consider good parenting, is it making your kids walk for miles to school and disciplining them so well that they dare not make a peep in a store.  I'll bet the nazis had very well behaved kids who didn't mouth off and who walked miles to school, cleaned the kitchen and scrubbed the floors after doing hours of homework.  

I think the good parents are interested and involved with their children and guide them in a loving and conscious way, for starters. 

There's a couple of great and entertaining movies out there on Netflix (children's actually) - Nanny McPhee and Nanny McPhee returns which are great fun on the subject of training and teaching children.


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## SifuPhil (Apr 4, 2016)

Shalimar said:


> Yep Philly, the allure of the negative, the painful pleasure of the glass forever empty. A tragedy in the making......very "Waiting
> For Godot." Always hated Camus. Man needed a cerebral enema, stat!



Like Vladimir, I can never seem to finish a joke.


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## Wrigley's (Apr 4, 2016)

Cookie said:


> It all depends on what you consider good parenting, is it making your kids walk for miles to school and disciplining them so well that they dare not make a peep in a store.  I'll bet the nazis had very well behaved kids who didn't mouth off and who walked miles to school, cleaned the kitchen and scrubbed the floors after doing hours of homework.
> 
> I think the good parents are interested and involved with their children and guide them in a loving and conscious way, for starters.
> 
> There's a couple of great and entertaining movies out there on Netflix (children's actually) - Nanny McPhee and Nanny McPhee returns which are great fun on the subject of training and teaching children.



The movies are entertaining and cute. In the books, Nanny McPhee scares the dickens out of the children.


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## Cookie (Apr 4, 2016)

Nanny McPhee gets less scary looking as the kids become better, her moles disappear and she gets prettier.  Great fun -- for kids of all ages.


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## Wrigley's (Apr 4, 2016)

Cookie said:


> Nanny McPhee gets less scary looking as the kids become better.



My point exactly.


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## Pinky (Apr 4, 2016)

Me and my siblings learned to be self sufficient at a very early age, as both our parents had to work. We learned to chop wood to start the fire in the old wood stove, and bring water from the well .. we also had an outhouse. I know, it sounds like Dolly Parton's bio, but, that was our reality until we moved the year I was turning 11. Life, for us kids, was not considered 'hard' because its all we knew. It must have been really tough for our parents. Even so, we never went hungry, and were always well dressed as my mother was a wonderful seamstress and had sewn beautiful evening gowns for people to supplement income. This was before she went to work for a plant nursery out of town.


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## Wrigley's (Apr 4, 2016)

Pinky said:


> Me and my siblings learned to be self sufficient at a very early age, as both our parents had to work. We learned to chop wood to start the fire in the old wood stove, and bring water from the well .. we also had an outhouse. I know, it sounds like Dolly Parton's bio, but, that was our reality until we moved the year I was turning 11. Life, for us kids, was not considered 'hard' because its all we knew. It must have been really tough for our parents. Even so, we never went hungry, and were always well dressed as my mother was a wonderful seamstress and had sewn beautiful evening gowns for people to supplement income. This was before she went to work for a plant nursery out of town.



So you're apocalypse-ready.

Hey, when the grid goes down and the internet dies and there's no place to get a hamburger or taco within 30 seconds, guess where everyone's going? The Grandparents' house! Cuz they know how to make-do.


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## BlunderWoman (Apr 4, 2016)

Pinky said:


> Me and my siblings learned to be self sufficient at a very early age, as both our parents had to work. We learned to chop wood to start the fire in the old wood stove, and bring water from the well .. we also had an outhouse. I know, it sounds like Dolly Parton's bio, but, that was our reality until we moved the year I was turning 11. Life, for us kids, was not considered 'hard' because its all we knew. It must have been really tough for our parents. Even so, we never went hungry, and were always well dressed as my mother was a wonderful seamstress and had sewn beautiful evening gowns for people to supplement income. This was before she went to work for a plant nursery out of town.


How did I miss this one ?  Hey when we were kids on the farm living with my aunt while my father was in the military we had an outhouse. It was used for many purposes . One of my sisters threw my only dolly down that scary black hole when she got mad at me. Then you could hear my other sister yelling at the top of her lungs " Aunt Lxxx come quick!! Sharon is trying to throw Xxx down the outhouse hole!!" Ah the good memories


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## SifuPhil (Apr 4, 2016)

Wrigley's said:


> So you're apocalypse-ready.
> 
> Hey, when the grid goes down and the internet dies and there's no place to get a hamburger or taco within 30 seconds, guess where everyone's going? The Grandparents' house! Cuz they know how to make-do.




Ahhh ... a fellow bunker-dweller! 

I have 4,000 cans of beans and an AK-47 - I'm ready! nthego:


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## Wrigley's (Apr 4, 2016)

SifuPhil said:


> Ahhh ... a fellow bunker-dweller!
> 
> I have 4,000 cans of beans and an AK-47 - I'm ready! nthego:



I have a case of tomato paste and a bag of rice, so I'll see you at your place.


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## SifuPhil (Apr 4, 2016)

Wrigley's said:


> I have a case of tomato paste and a bag of rice, so I'll see you at your place.




Ah, rice and beans - the breakfast of paranoid champions!


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## Shalimar (Apr 4, 2016)

I have a dehydrator and lots of dried veggies and fruit, plus herbs and spices. Cornmeal, flour, honey, rolled oats,Powdered  milk etc. Meet you in the pit at the bottom of the garden. Oh, you guys are funny!


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## SifuPhil (Apr 4, 2016)

Shalimar said:


> I have a dehydrator and lots of dried veggies and fruit, plus herbs and spices. Cornmeal, flour, honey, rolled oats,Powdered  milk etc. Meet you in the pit at the bottom of the garden. Oh, you guys are funny!



The password is "apocalyptica".


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## Wrigley's (Apr 4, 2016)

Shalimar said:


> I have a dehydrator and lots of dried veggies and fruit, plus herbs and spices. Cornmeal, flour, honey, rolled oats,Powdered  milk etc. Meet you in the pit at the bottom of the garden. Oh, you guys are funny!



I'm more afraid of our cooking than the apocalypse, so I hope you'll be there, Shali. In the kitchen of course.


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## SifuPhil (Apr 4, 2016)

Wrigley's said:


> I'm more afraid of our cooking than the apocalypse, so I hope you'll be there, Shali. In the kitchen of course.



Same here - if there aren't any more pizza delivery places, I'm in trouble ... and you DON'T want to be around the pit when I start eating those beans ...


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## Shalimar (Apr 4, 2016)

Of course I will cook, W. as for beans, Philly. If you add a pinch of dried mustard to the pot, it removes the problem.


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## Wrigley's (Apr 4, 2016)

Shalimar said:


> Of course I will cook, W. as for beans, Philly. If you add a pinch of dried mustard to the pot, it removes the problem.



Five cases of dried mustard just went on my shopping list.

Hope it's a short apocalypse.


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## Shalimar (Apr 4, 2016)

W. lolol. I know how to cook like our grammas did. I can make cornbread, muffins, parmesan biscuits, all sorts of yummy things. You will eat well, I promise.


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## SifuPhil (Apr 4, 2016)

Wrigley's said:


> Five cases of dried mustard just went on my shopping list.
> 
> Hope it's a short apocalypse.



My turn to spit coffee. layful:

Never knew that about the mustard. Of course, I never knew how to boil water without burning it, either.


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## SifuPhil (Apr 4, 2016)

Shalimar said:


> W. lolol. I know how to cook like our grammas did. I can make cornbread, muffins, parmesan biscuits, all sorts of yummy things. You will eat well, I promise.




... and Philly will be left to his beans.

Okay, I see where this is going ...


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## Wrigley's (Apr 4, 2016)

SifuPhil said:


> ... and Philly will be left to his beans.
> 
> Okay, I see where this is going ...



Dude, you're the one with the AK-47. It's only going your way.


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## SifuPhil (Apr 4, 2016)

Wrigley's said:


> Dude, you're the one with the AK-47. It's only going your way.



Yeah, but I forgot to buy any ammo for it ...


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## Wrigley's (Apr 4, 2016)

SifuPhil said:


> Yeah, but I forgot to buy any ammo for it ...



Oh crap. You shoulda done that before 12-21-12.

'the hell do we do now?


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## SifuPhil (Apr 4, 2016)

Wrigley's said:


> Oh crap. You shoulda done that before 12-21-12.
> 
> 'the hell do we do now?



Good memory.

I guess we could always throw cans of beans at the bad guys ...


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## Wrigley's (Apr 4, 2016)

SifuPhil said:


> Good memory.
> 
> I guess we could always throw cans of beans at the bad guys ...



Two birds with one stone. Good idea.


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## jujube (Apr 4, 2016)

SifuPhil said:


> Ahhh ... a fellow bunker-dweller!
> 
> *I have 4,000 cans of beans *and an AK-47 - I'm ready! nthego:



I thought gas warfare had been banned by the Geneva Conference.......


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## fureverywhere (Apr 4, 2016)

I remember a neighbor's mom would give us pieces of fresh mozzarella to shut us up. My Mom would never consider it. Until hubby woww fresh moutz...


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## Butterfly (Apr 4, 2016)

Wrigley's said:


> Parents weren't wrapped up in their own egos. They outgrew that when they got married. And life wasn't just about them anymore after they had kids, if it ever was. My mom always looked nice but she dressed like a mom, and she didn't mind it. Neither did dad. Or anybody. Success was having a nice house and well-behaved kids. These days it's looking like a Kardashian.



I agree, and they didn't think they had to have every new thing on the horizon, either.  They knew how to be content and enjoy life's simpler pleasures, a skill that has been mostly lost in today's world.


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## Butterfly (Apr 4, 2016)

Shalimar said:


> W. lolol. I know how to cook like our grammas did. I can make cornbread, muffins, parmesan biscuits, all sorts of yummy things. You will eat well, I promise.



Shali, I cook the same way.  Maybe we could tag-team the cooking of the apocalypse??  The guys can do the dishes.


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## SifuPhil (Apr 4, 2016)

Butterfly said:


> Shali, I cook the same way.  Maybe we could tag-team the cooking of the apocalypse??  The guys can do the dishes.



I volunteer for guard duty - I'll walk the perimeter with my ... um ... my ...

... cans of beans.


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## Wrigley's (Apr 4, 2016)

SifuPhil said:


> I volunteer for guard duty - I'll walk the perimeter with my ... um ... my ...
> 
> ... cans of beans.



The more cans of beans you put to other uses, the better off we'll be.


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## Shalimar (Apr 4, 2016)

Awesome Butterfly. We can be queens of the apocolyptic kitchen. All others will bow down before us.....hey, this is getting good!


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## Wrigley's (Apr 4, 2016)

jujube said:


> I thought gas warfare had been banned by the Geneva Conference.......



lol!


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## Shalimar (Apr 4, 2016)

W. I keep sayin', beans are not an odiferous issue, providing one adds powdered mustard while they are cooking. Lol. Still, Philly can man the perimeter, keeps him from getting weak. HaHaHaHaHa.


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## SifuPhil (Apr 4, 2016)

Wrigley's said:


> The more cans of beans you put to other uses, the better off we'll be.



Much more of this disrespect, I _might_ just go over to the zombie's side ... 

*staggering after Shali*

"Pooooouuutiiiiine ..."


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## SifuPhil (Apr 4, 2016)

Shalimar said:


> Awesome Butterfly. We can be queens of the apocolyptic kitchen. All others will bow down before us.....hey, this is getting good!



Yeah, you like the "bow down" part - I know your plans for the apocalypse! 

"Queen Shali and the End of the World - A Children's Primer"


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## Shalimar (Apr 4, 2016)

Heel, Philly, calm down. Here is your poutine. No need to go AWOL. This is the apocalypse a la mode. Four star, with Chefs extraordinaire, Butterfly, and Shali. Reservations advised, proof of life required. Lol.


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## Shalimar (Apr 4, 2016)

Shhhhh. Philly. No worries. Bitterfly, I mean Butterfly and I will ensure you are taken care of.


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## SifuPhil (Apr 4, 2016)

Shalimar said:


> Heel, Philly, calm down. Here is your poutine. No need to go AWOL. This is the apocalypse a la mode. Four star, with Chefs extraordinaire, Butterfly, and Shali. Reservations advised, proof of life required. Lol.



*Philly squats down on his haunches*

*wolfs down poutine, burps*

Think I'll just wash that down with some beans ... 

I'll have to try that new restaurant - some cute cooks in there ... but only one guy in there eating ...


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## Butterfly (Apr 7, 2016)

Shalimar said:


> Shhhhh. Philly. No worries. Bitterfly, I mean Butterfly and I will ensure you are taken care of.



Indeed we will!  We will joyfully cook up a storm and no one will even notice the apocalypse!

(Shali -- I'm having a cranky day today, so maybe "bitterfly" is a pretty good fit today.  My stupid car has been in the shop for DAYS and still isn't ready.  Maybe you could put a Mer-spell on them to make them hurry up?)


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