# Do you believe in soul mates?



## Ralphy1 (Oct 22, 2014)

I don't.  Men and women are just too different to be perfectly suited in every regard.  Certainly we find members of the opposite sex who are more compatible than others, but that is about it.  You have the right to disagree with me and I will try not to get too moody...


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## Warrigal (Oct 22, 2014)

Or less irritating than others.


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## Ralphy1 (Oct 22, 2014)

Exactly...


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## QuickSilver (Oct 22, 2014)

NO...  That's just a crazy romantic notion.   There are too many factors that are pure chance.   I believe that within any given radius, you could find several people that you could love and live with and be perfectly happy.


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## Justme (Oct 22, 2014)

My husband and I have been married for 45 years and known each other for nearly 50 years. However we are very different, having nothing in common apart from our children. It seems to work for us. I would hate to be so closely entwined with anyone that we lived for each other.


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## pchrise (Oct 22, 2014)

You could be of like mind I guess


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## QuickSilver (Oct 22, 2014)

I was widowed 13 years ago and have remarried... both men were/are good men and perfectly fine for me, yet they are/were totally different from one another.. So the notion that there is a single one and only person we were meant to be with is silly IMO.


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## Ralphy1 (Oct 22, 2014)

Wow!  I'm still in a good mood!  Can it last?


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## oldman (Oct 22, 2014)

They say opposites attract and in my wife's and my case that couldn't be truer. We both have different things we enjoy doing, eating and so on, but there are also like things and food we enjoy. I don't know how many times we have gotten dressed to go somewhere only to find out we look like twins because we were wearing the same colors.


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## oakapple (Oct 22, 2014)

QuickSilver said:


> NO... That's just a crazy romantic notion. There are too many factors that are pure chance. I believe that within any given radius, you could find several people that you could love and live with and be perfectly happy.


   I agree with this entirely.


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## Mrs. Robinson (Oct 22, 2014)

I don`t think I have ever referred to my hubby as my soulmate but a lot of other people have referred to us as that. I could never imagine being with anyone else and he says that he can`t either. Maybe it`s because we`ve been together since we were so young. In November,we will have been together for 49 years,married for 47 in Dec. We always say that because we also worked together for 34 years,it`s really like we`ve been married for 80 years lol. We are not an example of "opposites attract"-we are very much alike. We had very similar upbringings. I can`t even imagine being with anyone else-in fact,to use a phrase my daughter used to use about a couple of guys she dated,the thought of being with another man gives me the heebie jeebies lol.


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## Twixie (Oct 22, 2014)

That's brilliant Mrs R...I did meet a really strange man in a bar once..I was with my partner..as soon as we opened the door..I looked at him, he looked at me as if we were expecting each other..so we went to sit next to him..we were talking away and he said ''I feel as if I've known you forever''..He was like my brother..I knew what he was going to say before he said it..so strange..I felt like I'd known him forever too!!


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## Ralphy1 (Oct 22, 2014)

Here we go...


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## Twixie (Oct 22, 2014)

Ralphy1 said:


> Here we go...


Not really..I was just relating a personal experience...


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## Happyflowerlady (Oct 22, 2014)

I don't know if soulmate is the right term for it, but I have had people in my life that there was a special connection with beyond just the normal friendship.  How it would work to have actually been married to one of those people, I don't know; I think it was more of just a mental bond. 
In fact, one of those times that I have had a special bond, was with a lady that I worked with when I was an insurance agent. We had a route that we worked, and since we were the only girls on the team; we usually roomed together. 
Many days, we came back with almost identical sales, and ended the week close to the same total, too. 
Another interesting thing was that sometimes, when we needed to talk to each other about someone's insurance policy; we would both often show up at the motel at the same time, or even just drive around a corner and see the other person coming down the street in their vehicle. 

As far as finding the perfect soulmate to spend their life with; I think there is more than one person that we can be compatable with, but if there is also that extra "something", then I think that we are closer to finding our one true love, as the saying goes.


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## JustBonee (Oct 22, 2014)

I feel the term soul mate is very overused ...   I was married to my husband for 49 years and  I really can't say we were.  I didn't feel that.
However, I have a SIL who claims she has found her soul mate *twice!!* in her several marriages. ..  .??  .. so to each his/her own.


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## QuickSilver (Oct 22, 2014)

Too much is left to chance.  What if your parents moved to a different part of the country and you with them..  What if you were late in catching your bus?  What if you stopped in one shop instead of another?   What if you didn't go to that party because you had the flu?   Too many things can influence who we meet.. UNLESS of course you believe our each and every move is predetermined by something or someone... then I guess you can justify saying soul mate


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## Twixie (Oct 22, 2014)

It doesn't have to be a partner/husband..just someone you feel completely comfortable with and you click straightaway..They can be male or female!!


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## ClassicRockr (Oct 22, 2014)

Get ready, Ralphy1.......my wife and I ARE "soulmates" and darn proud of it!! It took us each two marriages to finally find each other, but after we did, dear old Cupid was giving us an applause. We don't have exactly the same interests, but so close it could be scary to some married couples. The only time we are apart is during the week (8AM to 5:30PM) when she is driving to work, at work, and driving back home.


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## Twixie (Oct 22, 2014)

Sounds a bit claustrophobic...


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## Mrs. Robinson (Oct 22, 2014)

Twixie said:


> Sounds a bit claustrophobic...



See,that`s just it,Twixie. People didn`t understand how we could be together every single day,all day,working together and not just want to strangle one another. But for us,it was great. There is no one else that either of us would rather spend time with. Now his brother was a different story-working with him every day for 34 years made me want to tear my hair out. Obviously we were NOT soulmates lol. Seriously though,I never,ever get sick of spending time with my husband-and he doesn`t get tired of spending time with me. I don`t know what it is,maybe it IS a matter of being soulmates.


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## ClassicRockr (Oct 22, 2014)

Two *BIG* "thumbs up" for you!! Thank You!:thumbsup1:



Mrs. Robinson said:


> See,that`s just it,Twixie. People didn`t understand how we could be together every single day,all day,working together and not just want to strangle one another. But for us,it was great. There is no one else that either of us would rather spend time with. Now his brother was a different story-working with him every day for 34 years made me want to tear my hair out. Obviously we were NOT soulmates lol. Seriously though,I never,ever get sick of spending time with my husband-and he doesn`t get tired of spending time with me. I don`t know what it is,maybe it IS a matter of being soulmates.


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## Twixie (Oct 22, 2014)

Mrs. Robinson said:


> See,that`s just it,Twixie. People didn`t understand how we could be together every single day,all day,working together and not just want to strangle one another. But for us,it was great. There is no one else that either of us would rather spend time with. Now his brother was a different story-working with him every day for 34 years made me want to tear my hair out. Obviously we were NOT soulmates lol. Seriously though,I never,ever get sick of spending time with my husband-and he doesn`t get tired of spending time with me. I don`t know what it is,maybe it IS a matter of being soulmates.



I am glad you are so happy...


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## Mrs. Robinson (Oct 22, 2014)

Twixie said:


> I am glad you are so happy...



I AM happy-but it`s not just that. Plenty of people are happy,whether they are with their "soulmate" or not. I don`t feel that you have to have that in order to be happy. I understand that for many people,claustrophobic would be exactly what a relationship like ours would be. My sister and her husband have been married as long as we have,are very,very happy,could probably be described as soulmates,yet they spend very little time together. A little more,now that they are both retired,but for the 40 years that she worked,she showed dogs every single weekend,so was gone every weekend. We often wondered how my BIL felt about that but it worked out OK for him,I guess. After my sister retired,she also decided to retire from dog showing, but that only lasted a month or so-she is now showing more than ever and even leaving the Country a lot to show. Actually,she and her hubby went to France recently to attend a wedding and I was shocked. I don`t believe my BIL has left the city,nevermind the Country,in all the years they`ve been married! And they have never,ever taken a vacation together. So you never know.


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## Twixie (Oct 22, 2014)

Mrs. Robinson said:


> I AM happy-but it`s not just that. Plenty of people are happy,whether they are with their "soulmate" or not. I don`t feel that you have to have that in order to be happy. I understand that for many people,claustrophobic would be exactly what a relationship like ours would be. My sister and her husband have been married as long as we have,are very,very happy,could probably be described as soulmates,yet they spend very little time together. A little more,now that they are both retired,but for the 40 years that she worked,she showed dogs every single weekend,so was gone every weekend. We often wondered how my BIL felt about that but it worked out OK for him,I guess. After my sister retired,she also decided to retire from dog showing, but that only lasted a month or so-she is now showing more than ever and even leaving the Country a lot to show. Actually,she and her hubby went to France recently to attend a wedding and I was shocked. I don`t believe my BIL has left the city,nevermind the Country,in all the years they`ve been married! And they have never,ever taken a vacation together. So you never know.



That's interesting..what sort of dogs does she show??


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## Mrs. Robinson (Oct 22, 2014)

Twixie said:


> That's interesting..what sort of dogs does she show??



Irish Wolfhounds


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## ClassicRockr (Oct 22, 2014)

Bottom line is, some couples just love doing most everything together. Wife and I are just that way. The one thing that drew us together is that we are both "clingy". Basically, whatever we done, we done it together. At the time I met my wife, she had a single girlfriend that she done things with. After wife and I got together, that girlfriend went to the side and my wife only wanted to do things with me. To my wife, my interests were more fun than the things her and the girlfriend had been doing. We now live states away from the girlfriend, but her and my wife still call/talk to each other at times. Actually, the girlfriend wasn't very happy when my wife decided to do things only with me.

Even though my SIL and her husband have been married for 30 some years, they sure weren't any time of "soul mates". Not in my book anyway. From the time I met him and her (in 2000), they have never taken a vacation together. In fact, he called a vacation "waste of money and time"......she would go anyway. Good for her. They done very little together and he even wound up sleeping in different bedroom. A year ago, he wound up pretty sick, but didn't want any of her help. So, she would go and spend days with the grandchildren. When he went in the hospital for a couple of heart surgeries, she did go and see him. When he got home, they both decided that he'd be better off living somewhere where he'd get checked on by a Nurse. He has his own Assisted Living apartment and she helped him move in. Two years ago, she took of her wedding set. It was sort of funny, but the only day that she would actually get along with him was on their Anniversary and she would brag about how many years they've been married. I was straight up with her one day and said, "I wouldn't brag about how long you've been married. Take a look at your marriage!" She didn't say anything back to me. My wife, her sister, agreed with what I said. 

So, there are "soul mates" and then there are not.


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## Davey Jones (Oct 22, 2014)

Twixie said:


> It doesn't have to be a partner/husband..just someone you feel completely comfortable with and you click straightaway..They can be male or female!!


  Ill bet there are a few that call their animals soul mates.


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## Mrs. Robinson (Oct 22, 2014)

Davey Jones said:


> Ill bet there are a few that call their animals soul mates.



Absolutely,Davey!


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## jujube (Oct 22, 2014)

Women are from Venus, men are from Mars.......I know that for a fact because I was married for 37 years to someone from outer space and I've been living for five years with another one - LOL.    No, really, men and women have different thought processes and the best you can hope for is that you get past that and manage to love each other as much as possible.  I don't think a day passed that I didn't look at my late husband and think (or say...) "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING?"   I had a good marriage and I dearly love the one I'm with now and plan to be with him for the rest of my natural days but, once again, I have absolutely no idea what is going on in his head most of the time.

My granddaughter graduated from college and followed her college sweetheart back to his home state to teach there.   I asked her the other day how they were doing and she said, "Fine, but did you have the overpowering urge to whack Grandpa up side of the head with a rolled up newspaper several times a day?"  I said, "Welcome to the world, baby girl, welcome to the world."


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## Ralphy1 (Oct 23, 2014)

Studies have shown that women feel that men don't talk enough, and, when they do talk women don't like what men have to say.  Men feel that women talk too much and it can turns into  whining or nagging...


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## QuickSilver (Oct 23, 2014)

In thinking about it..  My present husband is the ONLY person I have come across that I can be with 24/7 and not need a break from his company.  Although, I have not yet retired, so time will tell if I feel that way when 24/7 turns into 24/7/365.


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## tnthomas (Oct 23, 2014)

jujube said:


> Women are from Venus, men are from Mars......



So true, finally accepted this truth after 3rd divorce.    Men and women may share the same language and cultrure, but many aspects of existance are interpreted so differently.    Aliens!


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## Twixie (Oct 23, 2014)

Men love to try and cheat...hopefully not getting found out...eventually they do..but once they have been caught out you can never trust them again..


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## QuickSilver (Oct 23, 2014)

Twixie said:


> Men love to try and cheat...hopefully not getting found out...eventually they do..but once they have been caught out you can never trust them again..



Who are all these men cheating with?  Hopefully not just one or two women being passed around.  Women cheat too... but perhaps are a tad smarter about not getting caught.  



> About 70 percent of married men admitted to cheating on their wives! Another study found that 2/3 of women are not aware of their husband's affair. I can relate to that — It took a long time until I found out myself — when I decided to check his phone.
> What about the women? Most statistics found that about 50 to 60 percent of women admitted to having an affair. This one really shocked me. Are there really millions of cheating women in the states? I never even imagined these statistics.



http://magazine.foxnews.com/love/cheating-statistics-do-men-cheat-more-women


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## Twixie (Oct 23, 2014)

Let's face it..men are ''hunters'' 

Do you know of any other animal species that stay with the female after birth?

A lifelong commitment?


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## QuickSilver (Oct 23, 2014)

Twixie said:


> Let's face it..men are ''hunters''
> 
> Do you know of any other animal species that stay with the female after birth?
> 
> A lifelong commitment?



I have read a lot of sociological articles and books...  (sociology was my favorite course in college)  I have to agree..  they make a pretty good case about men not being hardwired for monogomy..  They have less vested interest in procreation other than making sure their genetic material gets spread around as much as possible.


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## Twixie (Oct 23, 2014)

Is that when they start looking for the younger model?..

More fertile?


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## QuickSilver (Oct 23, 2014)

Twixie said:


> Is that when they start looking for the younger model?..
> 
> More fertile?



That's what the books say..


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## NancyNGA (Oct 23, 2014)

Twixie said:


> ...Do you know of any other animal species that stay with the female after birth?
> 
> A lifelong commitment?



Eagles do.


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## QuickSilver (Oct 23, 2014)

Almost ALL bird males do however, not mammals.. It's easy to see the biology of it. Male birds can eat bugs and regurgitate into the youngs' stomach.. It's impossible for a male mammal to lactate and nurse his offspring.


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## Mrs. Robinson (Oct 23, 2014)

I have to say that of all the couples I know,I don`t know of a single one of the men cheating. Wish I could say the same for the women.....


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## oldman (Oct 23, 2014)

I'd rather talk about being a "Soul Man."


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## Just plain me (Oct 23, 2014)

I think it depends on the person. My daughter, who has been married 17-18 years, told me today that when her husband does something that causes the steam to start rolling out her ears, she tries to think of something nice he has done and be grateful. Things like leaving his shoes in the middle of the room when she just finished cleaning, ticks her off. So she switches her thoughts to the night before when he brought supper home because he knew neither of them felt like cooking. I think this kind of thought fulness is what makes people think you are soul mates, when it is work on both parties part to be thoughtful.


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## SeaBreeze (Oct 23, 2014)

Sam & Dave, yeah Oldman....bringing back some good memories there, and movin' to the groove!   I never thought much about soul mates, but me and hubby have been married for 38 yrs. and running together for around 40.  We're pretty opposite, but meld well together, we both enjoy each other's company and wouldn't have it any other way.  I've playfully referred to him as my soul mate, and I think the description fits for us. :love_heart:


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## drifter (Oct 23, 2014)

No.


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## Just plain me (Oct 23, 2014)

My Dad had a saying "When you leave home I break your plate." You either stayed with your partner or made it on your own. You didn't come home.


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## Ina (Oct 23, 2014)

Yes I believe in a soulmate. Michael and I have 47 years of going through this world together, and when I was weak, he was strong, and when he couldn't handle thing I was strong. We alway seemed to able to know what each of has always needed.  And we still feel in love, but now it is stronger. :bighug:  &#55357;&#56845;&#55357;&#56856;


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## Mrs. Robinson (Oct 23, 2014)

Ina!! Good to see you posting! How is Michael doing? And yes,perfect description of "soulmates".


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