# I'm getting old and......



## Pappy (Aug 16, 2016)

.I am getting old lol and I realized I still have so many unanswered questions!!!! I never found out who let the Dogs Out...where's the beef...how to get to Sesame Street... why Dora doesn't just use Google Maps...why eggs are packaged in a flimsy paper carton, but batteries are secured in plastic that's tough as nails...why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed... why "abbreviated" is such a long word... why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor yet dish-washing liquid is made with real lemons... why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections... and, why do you have to "put your two cents in" but it's only a "penny for your thoughts" where's that extra penny going to... why do The Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same tune... why did you just try to sing those two previous songs... and just what is Victoria's secret? ...and do you really think I am this witty?? ... I actually got this from a friend, who stole it from her brother's girlfriend's, uncle's cousin's, baby momma's doctor who lived next door to my old class mate's mail man...Now it is your turn to take it from me...Peace!!


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## RadishRose (Aug 16, 2016)

Funny, Pappy,
Why to we drive on a parkway but park on a driveway?


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## Butterfly (Aug 16, 2016)

RadishRose said:


> Funny, Pappy,
> Why to we drive on a parkway but park on a driveway?



REALLY good question!  Never thought about that . . . .


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## bluebreezes (Aug 17, 2016)

Pappy, I've re-read your post a couple of times and laughed out loud. I love your wicked good sense of humor.


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## Pappy (Aug 17, 2016)

Thank you, blue.....so does the little woman....most of the time.


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## Falcon (Aug 17, 2016)

Might as well give it up Pappy.  Those questions will never be answered.


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## bluebreezes (Aug 17, 2016)

Yet it's the sacred quest to find the answers that makes life worth living. layful:


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## NancyNGA (Oct 18, 2016)

Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety-one?

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn’t zigzag?

Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Do you realize how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?

If toast always lands butterside down, and cats always land on their feet, what would happen if you strapped toast to a cat's back and dropped it?

Why when I wind up my watch I start it, but when I wind up this sentence I finish it?

Why is everything that goes by water called cargo, and everything by land called shipment?

If superman was so smart why were his underpants on the outside?


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## Pappy (Oct 18, 2016)

The hotel front desk called my room the other day.
Hello, is this room eleven, eleven?
I answered, No, this is room one, one, one, one. 
The conversation ended here. :lame:


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## NancyNGA (Oct 18, 2016)

Pappy said:


> I answered, No, this is room one, one, one, one.


Pappy, maybe you should have said "onety-one-onety-one," or "onety-onety-one-one."  :lame:


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## Pappy (Oct 18, 2016)

NancyNGA said:


> Pappy, maybe you should have said "onety-one-onety-one," or "onety-onety-one-one."  :lame:



Actually Nancy, I'd been better off skipping that "joke." 
It's almost as bad as the drunk leaning against the light post. 
Cop comes along and says, hey buddy, better move along. Nobody's home there.
Drunk says, mush be occifer...there's a light on upstairs.


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## NancyNGA (Oct 27, 2016)




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## NancyNGA (Oct 27, 2016)

Why do "tug" boats _push_ their barges?


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## Marie5656 (Oct 27, 2016)

*If you have 24 odds and ends on the table, and 23 fall off, what do you have left an odd or and end?

Why aren't hemmoroids called asteroids? (think that one through)

Do we get to Funky town by taking Electric Avenue?
OK, so what is the speed of dark?

If a word in the dictionary was misspelled, how would we know?
Isn't Disney World a People Trap operated by a mouse?

Why is it when a door is open it is ajar but when it jar is opened it is not a door?

Why is the alphabet in that order?  Is it because of that song?

Why isn't there mouse flavored cat food?*


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## Ken N Tx (Oct 28, 2016)

Pappy said:


> The hotel front desk called my room the other day.
> Hello, is this room eleven, eleven?
> I answered, No, this is room one, one, one, one.
> The conversation ended here. :lame:


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