# Was watching Sister Wives.  Just for fun,no judgement..could you live a polygamous life?



## Snow74 (Feb 8, 2022)

I think for myself, after some  years, and I had my children,hubby wants more wives,he needs to choose one who cleans, one who cooks..and one he goes to when he is in a foul mood…seriously though not sure I could live that lifestyle..would have to be a good team player…


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## Lavinia (Feb 8, 2022)

I think it would suit a certain sort of woman....someone who doesn't think too much, doesn't have deep emotions, and is perfectly happy to share everything. In a harem, the women were just used for companionship and sex...there was no actual relationship with their husband.
Doesn't all this demonstrate the attitude which the majority of men have towards women....their sole purpose in life is to serve men!


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## horseless carriage (Feb 8, 2022)

https://www.mindbodygreen.com/artic...n might choose,limited time or limited energy.
Monogamy is all I need, good grief, one mother-in-law is enough.


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## hollydolly (Feb 8, 2022)

Can you imagine..living with one man.. and several sister wives..?... Having to deal with several sets of PMT every month as well as your own, and maybe long after you've gone through the menopause..... and not being able to complain about the other sister wives to your husband, and not to mention having to 'love' you sister wives children as your own regardless of how loathsome they may be ..... *ugh*.. no thanks


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## Alligatorob (Feb 8, 2022)

Here in Utah polygamy is practiced a bit more than most places in the west.  In comes in a lot of different forms, from people who really believe its the right thing to do religiously, to criminal enterprises, to people who are more or less normal otherwise.  We have it as a legacy of the old Mormon Church, they banned the practice over 100 years ago, and it will get you excommunicated today, but old traditions hang on.  I know a guy who is a lawyer specializing in defending polygamous clients, he has some interesting stories to tell... It is illegal, but no effort is made to enforce the law unless they are really after people for something else.

It seems to me long past time to legalize it, though I know that would make for some complicated marriage issues, but people practice all kinds of relations, why not allow polygamy?

When I worked in Saudi I met a number of men who were polygamous, you don't get to meet the wives, but I heard a lot about it.  Apparently the more wealthy men first marry a Saudi wife and she becomes the main wife that he keeps.  The others are often non-Saudis, lots of Thai or Philopena women, along with a wide variety of others from Russians to Americans.  They are less likely to keep these often divorcing and sending them home, or just trading to another Saudi man.  Sometimes they keep the kids.  Not a way of life I approved of, but it wasn't my country or culture.

For me, no one wife is enough...

As we say in Utah, I don't care how you bring em, just "*bring um young*" and often.  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Brigham_Young's_wives


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## Snow74 (Feb 8, 2022)

Alligatorob said:


> Here in Utah polygamy is practiced a bit more than most places in the west.  In comes in a lot of different forms, from people who really believe its the right thing to do religiously, to criminal enterprises, to people who are more or less normal otherwise.  We have it as a legacy of the old Mormon Church, they banned the practice over 100 years ago, and it will get you excommunicated today, but old traditions hang on.  I know a guy who is a lawyer specializing in defending polygamous clients, he has some interesting stories to tell... It is illegal, but no effort is made to enforce the law unless they are really after people for something else.
> 
> It seems to me long past time to legalize it, though I know that would make for some complicated marriage issues, but people practice all kinds of relations, why not allow polygamy?
> 
> ...


Interesting reading..you kind of were a turn off with that last statement…I don’t care how you bring um……..you are kidding right?


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## Pepper (Feb 8, 2022)

Absolutely not.  I would never want a man to be so happy!


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## Snow74 (Feb 8, 2022)

Pepper said:


> Absolutely not.  I would never want a man to be so happy!


that's good really good


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## Mizmo (Feb 8, 2022)

Ever wonder what it would be like if it were the  women  who took more than one husband.  Role reversal.
Does it happen anywhere in this world.
How would that work.
 Would these husbands earn the bread and wait on us hand and foot while we ladies have the children and  just sit back and relax....hmm


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## hollydolly (Feb 8, 2022)

Mizmo said:


> Ever wonder what it would be like if it were the  women  who took more than one husband.  Role reversal.
> Does it happen anywhere in this world.
> How would that work.
> Would these husbands earn the bread and wait on us hand and foot while we ladies have the children and  just sit back and relax....hmm
> ...


yes it does happen, and it's called polyandry....and altho' not quite as prevalent as polygamy, there's still quite a few women with several husbands in the western world..and I'm sure probably  more in the Africas... where they marry brothers where there's a shortage of women


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## fuzzybuddy (Feb 8, 2022)

I always think of dumb things. I've always, wondered about polygamy. If there's about an equal population of males, and females, and some males have a bunch of wives, that has to deplete the supply of eligible mates for a lot of males. Say 50 men & 50 women, and 10 guys have 4 wives, that leaves 40 guys to fight over 10 women. Somebody is getting screwed..........or not.


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## Wren (Feb 8, 2022)

Eewwwwwww no thanks......


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## Aunt Bea (Feb 8, 2022)




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## JustinCase (Feb 8, 2022)

Somewhere back in the 1800's on my mother's side is Abraham Hunsaker, he had 5 wives.  I think our link was number 3 or 4 out of 5.  We don't bring them up in polite conversation.  My maternal G-Grandfather was a Hunsaker.  Our genealogy gets a little muddled after that.


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## JimBob1952 (Feb 8, 2022)

No thanks.


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## JimBob1952 (Feb 8, 2022)

Snow74 said:


> Interesting reading..you kind of were a turn off with that last statement…I don’t care how you bring um……..you are kidding right?


That's a reference to Brigham Young and his many young wives.


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## RadishRose (Feb 8, 2022)

No. The idea is revolting to me.


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## dobielvr (Feb 8, 2022)

No.  
I don't like sharing my man.


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## Snow74 (Feb 8, 2022)

dobielvr said:


> No.
> I don't like sharing my man.


After 40 some years..there are days I would have kindly given him away..sure he felt the same


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## rgp (Feb 8, 2022)

Not just no but ....Hell no ! I couldn't stand one wife .... So I got a divorce .... been happy ever since .


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## Jules (Feb 8, 2022)

Snow74 said:


> Interesting reading..you kind of were a turn off with that last statement…I don’t care how you bring um……..you are kidding right?


There’re sects around here that have very young wives for the old-goat leader.  The law cases trying to prosecute are prolonged and not particularly successful.  It’s religion.  There was one against a young teen taken across the border to a leader in Utah.


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## Alligatorob (Feb 8, 2022)

Snow74 said:


> Interesting reading..you kind of were a turn off with that last statement…I don’t care how you bring um……..you are kidding right?


It is a joke, "_bring um young" _is a play on Brigham Young's name .  Brigham was the second Prophet of the Mormon Church and had 56 wives, that we know of.   I suppose the joke doesn't travel well outside of Utah.


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## Snow74 (Feb 8, 2022)

Jules said:


> There’re sects around here that have very young wives for the old-goat leader.  The law cases trying to prosecute are prolonged and not particularly successful.  It’s religion.  There was one against a young teen taken across the border to a leader in Utah.


Much appreciated when I learn from a post thanks for sharing


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## Snow74 (Feb 8, 2022)

Alligatorob said:


> It is a joke, "_bring um young" _is a play on Brigham Young's name .  Brigham was the second Prophet of the Mormon Church and had 56 wives, that we know of.   I suppose the joke doesn't travel well outside of Utah.


Either that or I was being straight-laced


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## Alligatorob (Feb 8, 2022)

fuzzybuddy said:


> I always think of dumb things. I've always, wondered about polygamy. If there's about an equal population of males, and females, and some males have a bunch of wives, that has to deplete the supply of eligible mates for a lot of males. Say 50 men & 50 women, and 10 guys have 4 wives, that leaves 40 guys to fight over 10 women. Somebody is getting screwed..........or not.


You are right, long run it doesn't really work.  

One of the lesser know evils of some of the polygamous sects around here is the abandonment or driving out of many of their teenage boys.  It's how they deal with the problem.  

There was a good documentary made about it, here is a trailer:


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## Signe The Survivor (Feb 8, 2022)

I have been divorced for a long time now and never re-married. During my single life I adopted a son and dated several men. Never even in my dating life has it ever crossed my mind to date more than one man at a time so I highly doubt I would do very well with more than one man in marriage.


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## Alligatorob (Feb 8, 2022)

hollydolly said:


> yes it does happen, and it's called polyandry....and altho' not quite as prevalent as polygamy, there's still quite a few women with several husbands in the western world..and I'm sure probably more in the Africas... where they marry brothers where there's a shortage of women


Happens in Nepal also.


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## Jeni (Feb 8, 2022)

I have never put any thought into it.....
The show sister wives seems the whole thing is falling apart and that guy looks creepy to me...I am not sure if it was the going so public with the situation that made it seem to go bad...
some of the wives said they did not have any relationship with the husband etc .... seems like it would be a recipe for disagreements and resentments. 
I wonder how the kids feel growing up with all the step parents and half siblings.


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## Alligatorob (Feb 8, 2022)

The HBO series Big Love (https://www.hbo.com/big-love) was fictional, but it was a pretty accurate representation of some of the Polygamous sects in this area.  Both the good and bad are shown.  It was very well researched, most of what is shown actually happened in one way or another, just not to the fictional characters in the show.  Even the relationships shown between the modern Mormon church and the polygamous sects was pretty accurate.

For anyone with an interest in the subject it is worth watching.  It is also a pretty good story.


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## Packerjohn (Feb 8, 2022)

Good grief,   No!  I am definitely a 1 woman at one time type of guy.  I used to buy my wife flowers.  If I had 5 wives, I would have to buy 5 bunches of flowers.  Nope, each to their own but it sure wouldn't be "my cup of tea."


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## helenbacque (Feb 8, 2022)

Used to be a running joke among my group of older, unattached female friends  - a Husband 6-Pack that could be stored in the closet.  Each of the 6 individuals had different talents .... one cleaned well, one was chef, one was good dancer, one movie-star handsome (arm candy), one chauffeur/errand boy and one a good lover.  Take each out as needed and return to closet when done.  Unfortunately not available at WallyWorld.

It was fun to rank new acquaintances in girls only sessions later.


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## Pepper (Feb 8, 2022)

Alligatorob said:


> Happens in Nepal also.


What?  No pictures?


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## Alligatorob (Feb 8, 2022)

helenbacque said:


> a Husband 6-Pack that could be stored in the closet


Polygamy has inspired a beer here in Utah, Polygamy Porter - take a 6-pack home to the wives!


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## Pepper (Feb 8, 2022)

Jeez @Alligatorob
That commercial is pungently awful.  *(WARNING Joke Coming)*
Bet none of them are vaccinated.


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## OneEyedDiva (Feb 8, 2022)

I've mentioned this before. I was in a polygamous marriage but not like the one on Sister Wives. That show actually turned me off with the disrespect that I saw in one of the episodes. My husband had one other wife and we didn't all live in the same house. I stayed in the apartment I've owned since I was 24 years old, 20 years before I started seeing the man who was to become my husband. I never, repeat *never* would have married if the union was to be a "traditional" one. In fact, I said I'd never marry again after divorcing my first husband. I was a busy career woman with an aging mother and the arrangement worked perfectly for me. I'd read a few books about polygamy and one about man sharing which was not written by a Muslim. I realized that the practice is not as weird as I'd thought and that other career women found it to be a viable option to traditional marriage. I also realized from my work that many men cheat anyway and it's either justified somehow or swept under the rug. Being a wife/co-wife commands respect in Islam that mistresses don't get.

At first I kept the marriage secret (not supposed to in Islam). I loved him enough to take the step but I didn't know anyone else who had done it and thought we'd be shunned. Turns out my folks loved him and loved us as a couple. I later found out that my sister wife had actually suggested that if he took another wife, it should be me. Years before we finally got together, a good friend of mine who was his old army buddy and knew he had a wife, kept trying to hook us up. He said he noticed "sparks" when he first introduced us at my (future) husband's store and felt from that moment we should be together. I noticed no such sparks. Years later we got together on our own and there was quite a psychic element to it. That's a story in of itself so I might share that later. 

My sister wife (SW) helped me with some of my projects, including getting labels and cover jacket ready for my demo tape and I helped them out with some of theirs. My husband was well known in town and always involved with some social or political events. SW and I eventually became friends and our families accepted and respected us and our arrangement. Her sisters invited us to their events (most of them sang in a group together) and one of them even took a day trip with my husband and I to his timeshare in Pennsylvania. My SW did not like to travel so accepted when our husband and I would take vacations, mostly one week at a time. Our families socialized together a few times.

I finally agreed to marry him after he'd been asking for about 3 years..the first year, literally daily. We took a road trip to S.C. then VA, where we married. Our marriage was a religious one, not a "legal" one. Muslims who enter into a religious marriage also have certificates of marriage but they are not issued by their states. The marriage satisfied all the Islamic requirements.  two witnesses, one of whom was his best friend and were married by a Sheik my husband had known for years. The marriage took place in a masjid (mosque), which is not necessarily a requirement.


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## Gaer (Feb 8, 2022)

Can't understand why a woman would put herself in a subjugated, subservient position, from either a church or a dominating male.
Don't watch the show,, so my opinion is from supposition.  Perhaps the women are weak and need someone to take care of them.
Don't understand this way of thinking.


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## Alligatorob (Feb 8, 2022)

OneEyedDiva said:


> I've mentioned this before. I was in a polygamous marriage but not like the one on Sister Wives.


Thanks Diva, that is interesting.  Sounds like it worked for you!

In Saudi I met several men in polygamous relationships, but never a wife.  That seemed to be a no no.  I went to dinner at the house of one of the men once.  It was a very nice multicourse meal, prepared by the wives.  However we had to leave the room when they came in to serve, never saw them.  Your relationship sounds very different.


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## mellowyellow (Feb 8, 2022)

Why not allow Polygamy?

Because it goes against human nature - one man having sex with multiple women at once is gross.  Those Sister Wives need a lobotomy.


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## Shero (Feb 8, 2022)

Have to say I do find it all too repulsive. Cannot understand the mentality of a woman these days agreeing to this sort of arrangement. Of course polygamy is illegal in the US, so there is basically no financially security for the woman.
I feel women with this mindset need counseling!
.


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## Alligatorob (Feb 8, 2022)

mellowyellow said:


> Because it goes against human nature


I know it goes against many of our sensibilities, but that's cultural, not human nature.  If it works for consenting adults, like @OneEyedDiva I see nothing wrong with it, and it is allowed by her religion.


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## Alligatorob (Feb 8, 2022)

Shero said:


> Of course polygamy is illegal in the US, so there is basically no financially security for the woman.


Yep, that is one of the reasons I believe it should be legal!


Shero said:


> I feel women with this mindset need counseling!


No doubt some do, but not all.  

I have no desire for multiple wives, but I am careful not to judge the men and women who openly and as adults, enter into this kind of thing.


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## Pepper (Feb 8, 2022)

Alligatorob said:


> I know it goes against may of our sensibilities, but that's cultural, not human nature.  If it works for consenting adults, like @OneEyedDiva I see nothing wrong with it, and it is allowed by her religion.


I see no comparison to Diva's marriage, the Mormon Sister Wives, I mean.


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## Signe The Survivor (Feb 8, 2022)

Shero said:


> Have to say I do find it all too repulsive. Cannot understand the mentality of a woman these days agreeing to this sort of arrangement. Of course polygamy is illegal in th US, so there is basically no financially security for the woman.
> I feel women with this mindset need counseling!
> .


It certainly is not for me also, but in Utah although it is still illegal it is no longer a felony. It is now considered an infraction. Somewhat like getting slapped with a traffic ticket.


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## Shero (Feb 8, 2022)

Alligatorob said:


> I know it goes against may of our sensibilities, but that's cultural, not human nature.  If it works for consenting adults, like @OneEyedDiva I see nothing wrong with it, and it is allowed by her religion.


Ýou are forgetting one thing : it is "allowed" in Muslim countries.
What people do in private is their business though.


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## mrstime (Feb 8, 2022)

fuzzybuddy said:


> I always think of dumb things. I've always, wondered about polygamy. If there's about an equal population of males, and females, and some males have a bunch of wives, that has to deplete the supply of eligible mates for a lot of males. Say 50 men & 50 women, and 10 guys have 4 wives, that leaves 40 guys to fight over 10 women. Somebody is getting screwed..........or not.


In most of the Polygamist sects they chase off most of the young men, theres a group in Alberta that make every effort to help the teenage boys who have been thrown out of the local sect. They try to help them get an education, and jobs. That leaves the older (old) men in the sect  to "marry" the teen girls!


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## hollydolly (Feb 8, 2022)

Signe The Survivor said:


> It certainly is not for me also, but in Utah although it is still illegal it is no longer a felony. It is now considered an infraction. Somewhat like getting slapped with a traffic ticket.


wasn't that Cody Brown and his wives  who got that ruling changed , after they'd had to run from being arrested in Utah...?


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## Alligatorob (Feb 8, 2022)

mrstime said:


> In most of the Polygamist sects they chase off most of the young men, theres a group in Alberta that make every effort to help the teenage boys who have been thrown out of the local sect. They try to help them get an education, and jobs. That leaves the older (old) men in the sect to "marry" the teen girls!


Same here, the few men they allow to stay are the ones they know will tow the line.

They have to marry the girls young and get them pregnant as quickly as possible to make them stick around.  

Awful thing, but not all polygamists are guilty of this.  Too many however are.


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## Signe The Survivor (Feb 8, 2022)

hollydolly said:


> wasn't that Cody Brown and his wives  who got that ruling changed , after they'd had to run from being arrested in Utah...?


I believe you are correct.


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## Jules (Feb 8, 2022)

This is part of the FLDS I was referring to. (Fundamentalist Latter Day Saints)

https://www.nelsonstar.com/news/witness-testifies-on-growing-up-in-polygamous-b-c-community/

Here is part of the article.



> The only honourable way to leave the FLDS is to die and I’ve known that since I was a baby,” said a Crown witness, who asked not to be identified fearing reprisals from FLDS members.
> 
> She left the religion in seven years ago but still has family, including children, who remain in Bountiful.
> 
> ...


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## john19485 (Feb 8, 2022)

live here on and off sence 1963, never ran into any, heard about some down in southern Utah


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## Lawrence00 (Feb 8, 2022)

With my memory not as good as it was, if I had 30, every 30 days I would have forgotten even their names, and it would be like having a first date, every day of the week.


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## OneEyedDiva (Feb 8, 2022)

Gaer said:


> Can't understand why a woman would put herself in a subjugated, subservient position, from either a church or a dominating male.
> Don't watch the show,, so my opinion is from supposition.  Perhaps the women are weak and need someone to take care of them.
> Don't understand this way of thinking.


Not all the women are "weak" and "subjugated". In fact, *for men who are following the Islamic guidance given*, they treat their wives fairly, lovingly and with respect. They are advised to consult them when important decisions are to be made. I always was very independent and my husband didn't dare try to subjugate me. In fact, the friend that had tried hard to get us together told me after my husband died that he thinks he was afraid of me.  LOL  I think so too. He had told at least one of his sons, who told me later that he said...*don't* get my wife angry! He'd seen me in action when someone upset me.

Reading about polygamy by various authors and contributors, including well educated women, even a doctor, who found the arrangement beneficial, helped me to understand that I was not weird for considering it and that it was practiced more widely than I knew.  BTW...how many women in traditional marriages are subjugated, treated like the help and even abused. Check the statistics!

@Alligatorob  Thank you for your positive, intelligent feedback. I'm sure your personal experience helped you understand polygamy better. For very devout Muslims, it is common practice for men and women not to congregate together. That is why you didn't see the wives. Also, believe me...my husband had many men ask him about the practice because they were considering it. He discouraged them because it's not for the faint of heart and it's no game for sure. Islam permitted, not encouraged polygamy as an emergency measure when Muslim men were killed en masse in the holy wars leaving women and children with no means of support. A man would take another wife and her family to support them. Men were not obligated to support women who were not their wives but were obligated once they married them.


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## OneEyedDiva (Feb 8, 2022)

mellowyellow said:


> Why not allow Polygamy?
> 
> Because it goes against human nature - one man having sex with multiple women at once is gross.  Those Sister Wives need a lobotomy.


Oh you poor thing. What world do you live in?!! A huge number of men admit to having affairs, some only one night stands. I got to interview hundreds of men from all walks of life during my career in public health when they came to clinic or even went to their private doctors because they contracted or were exposed to sexually transmitted diseases. Most of the time the wives were clueless about what their husbands were doing. One man told me he'd had sex with several prostitutes without using a condom but used a condom with his wife. Not wanting to sound unprofessional I *had* to ask..."isn't that ass backwards?!" And guess what? He knew all their back stories and at least one was known to him as having HIV!! 

In actuality, it is believed that monogamy goes against human nature. This is an excerpt from Psychology Today:
_"Looking at monogamy from a cross-cultural perspective suggests that monogamy isn’t a universal norm. Many cultures have legal polygamy as well as prostitution. In fact, most of the patriarchs and kings of the Hebrew Bible had multiple wives and concubines as was customary of ancient Middle Eastern cultures. The early Mormons believed they were just following the Old Testament in practicing polygamy." _Here's the entire article: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/between-the-sheets/201904/is-monogamy-natural


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## JaniceM (Feb 9, 2022)

OneEyedDiva said:


> In actuality, it is believed that monogamy goes against human nature. This is an excerpt from Psychology Today:
> _"Looking at monogamy from a cross-cultural perspective suggests that monogamy isn’t a universal norm. Many cultures have legal polygamy as well as prostitution. In fact, most of the patriarchs and kings of the Hebrew Bible had multiple wives and concubines as was customary of ancient Middle Eastern cultures. The early Mormons believed they were just following the Old Testament in practicing polygamy." _Here's the entire article: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/between-the-sheets/201904/is-monogamy-natural


However, as those who point to "_And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth" _fail to realize is that initial goal has been accomplished many times over.  
This "earth" doesn't need any more "multiplying and replenishing," and hasn't for a long time.  

It's only one example of something that was said in Genesis was appropriate _for its time, _but not in our current world.


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## Alligatorob (Feb 9, 2022)

OneEyedDiva said:


> A huge number of men admit to having affairs, some only one night stands.


I agree with this, but it ain't just men.  They were not alone on those one night stands.  I don't think we are particularly faithful by nature.


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## fuzzybuddy (Feb 9, 2022)

I'm not trying to be funny, but I found a relationship with female to be exhausting, and not exactly the most non-confrontational relationship I ever had. Women tend to be women. OMG!!!!!!!! I can't image a house full of them.  If I moved in another "wife" on my ex, they'd never find my body. To be honest, I can't see "love' as the glue keeping a polygamous relationship together. I fear the glue is abuse.


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## Shero (Feb 9, 2022)

Alligatorob said:


> Yep, that is one of the reasons I believe it should be legal!
> 
> No doubt some do, but not all.
> 
> I have no desire for multiple wives, but I am careful not to judge the men and women who openly and as adults, enter into this kind of thing.



Alligatorob, trying to justify an ancient Muslim Sharia law tradition in the Western world, makes zero sense, when…

On average *less* than 10 per cent of marriages in Arab societies are polygamous, in North Africa, Palestine, and Syria it is even less, between *3 and 5* per cent. Women in Arabic countries are fighting for their freedom, fighting against degrading and misogynistic customs, that benefit only men. 

Added to the above, psychological findings reveal that wives in polygamous marriages experienced lower self-esteem, less life satisfaction and more mental health symptomatology than women in monogamous marriages. Many of the mental health symptoms were different; noteworthy were elevated somatization, depression, hostility and psychoticism.

Do your own research.
.


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## Alligatorob (Feb 9, 2022)

Shero said:


> psychological findings reveal that wives in polygamous marriages experienced lower self-esteem, less life satisfaction and more mental health symptomatology than women in monogamous marriages. Many of the mental health symptoms were different; noteworthy were elevated somatization, depression, hostility and psychoticism.


I suspect that is at least in part the result of abusive practices sometimes associated with polygamy.  Like some of the cults here in Utah encouraging underaged girls to marry.  There are other examples.  I believe legalizing polygamy would bring it more out into the light of day, making it harder to hide these abuses.  Fear of having the family broken up is one of the things that keeps some of our local women from speaking out.  Giving these women the rights of legal marriage would also help those who want out to get out and be able to recover something from a divorce, right now they cannot.

And as I said I believe that how consenting adults lead their lives should be of little concern to the government, so long as other laws are not broken.

You are right most Muslims are not polygamous, it varies a lot by country.  However the numbers are not great.  I have spent time in both Kuwait and Saudi and know from experience there is a big difference, many Saudis are polygamous, though it is legal in Kuwait it is rare.  I also spent time in Indonesia where polygamy is legal, but I never met anyone who practiced it.

One interesting fact is that in countries where polygamy is legal it is often practiced by members of all religions in those countries, not just Muslims.  Even though most of those countries are predominantly Muslim.  For example in Burkina Faso 24% of Christians live in polygamous families.

Here are some interesting statistics:
https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-ta...d-to-a-few-regions/ft_2020-12-07_polygamy_01/


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## Shero (Feb 9, 2022)

Alligatorob said:


> I suspect that is at least in part the result of abusive practices sometimes associated with polygamy.  Like some of the cults here in Utah encouraging underaged girls to marry.  There are other examples.  I believe legalizing polygamy would bring it more out into the light of day, making it harder to hide these abuses.  Fear of having the family broken up is one of the things that keeps some of our local women from speaking out.  Giving these women the rights of legal marriage would also help those who want out to get out and be able to recover something from a divorce, right now they cannot.
> 
> And as I said I believe that how consenting adults lead their lives should be of little concern to the government, so long as other laws are not broken.
> 
> ...


I disagree that this applies mainly to women in abusive polygamous relationships.


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## jakbird (Feb 9, 2022)

My family history extends back to the founding of the LDS (Mormon) church, so I never had any strong moral objections to polygamy even though the practice was banned in order to gain statehood for Utah.  Some members of my family were closely associated with the church leadership, which means there are some polygamists in my own history.  I do believe the practice has been used as an excuse for inexcusable behavior, the one in California City (Arizona) being an example.

Having lived most of my life in that area (southern Nevada, Utah, and a small strip of Arizona) I know of polygamist towns which have existed for decades without incident.  The people who live in these towns are friendly, but don't encourage visitors for obvious reasons.  The children are home schooled and do exceptionally well on the standardized state tests.  Attempts to force the children into public schools in the past were met with a sharp backlash against the government officials.

I'm not going to mention the towns.  Long-time residents of the area know who they are and respect their privacy.  I don't know of their status for the last seven years, since I left Nevada, but I hope they are still being left in peace to practice their religion.  Not something I'd be interested in, but being a libertarian I do support their right to be left alone.


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## Alligatorob (Feb 9, 2022)

jakbird said:


> I don't know of their status for the last seven years


Big changes in Hilldale/Short Creek/Colorado City.  For the best I believe: https://www.kuer.org/arts-culture-r...ts-adapt-to-the-transformation-of-short-creek


jakbird said:


> The people who live in these towns are friendly, but don't encourage visitors for obvious reasons.


When I was younger made several trips to the Hilldale area mentioned above.  They clearly didn't want me there, and I was closely watched until I left.  But never threatened or anything...

There are other polygamous communities I know of in Utah that are not nearly so bad as the Hilldale bunch.  I am mostly with you on the libertarian thing, if all is done by consenting adults and laws are obeyed, other than anti-polygamy, then I say live and let live.  That wasn't the case with Hilldale and Warren Jeffs.


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## Mrs. Robinson (Feb 10, 2022)

My niece,the one who cared for my brother until he passed,had two "husbands" for many years. The first she legally married when she was 18-he was 27. He started dating her when she was 14. She took on a second "husband" when she was around 30. They all lived together on my niece`s 20 acre property in the mountains. He had his own house on the property. I can only assume she lived back and forth. This arrangement went on for about 20 years and shortly after her relationship with her second husband ended,she and her legal husband divorced. She has since married a wonderful man and I am pretty sure he will be her one and only.


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## Signe The Survivor (Feb 10, 2022)

I couldn't even deal with the one man I was married to so there is absolutely no way I would do well with two or more.


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## oldiebutgoody (Feb 12, 2022)

Was born to be a polygynist though I never actually practiced it.  It takes all kinds of people to make this great big world of ours.  Since I am descended of David (five wives), Solomon (1,000+ wives), and Jesus (who claimed to have an endless amount of spiritual spouses),  I figure that what's good for them, is also good for me.  Well, mebbe in another lifetime I shall have the experience.


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## terry123 (Feb 13, 2022)

Not only No, but Hell No!


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## Jan14 (Feb 17, 2022)

I don’t believe in it personally.  I think as we are seeing it is not working out for them.


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## Blessed (May 15, 2022)

Yes I could do it, he would just need to come by once every two weeks or so.  Cut the grass, change light bulbs and fix a clogged sink or repair the toilet.  THAT IS ALL, the other wifes can have the other stuff. LOL


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## mrstime (May 15, 2022)

Live in polygamy? Sure if I had more than one husband.

BTW I like Sister Wives too, not interested in living it but it is fun to watch.


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## Linda (May 15, 2022)

I think I could put up with sister wives a lot easier than I could stand a house full of their children.  I think it would be a mad house.


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## terry123 (May 16, 2022)

horseless carriage said:


> https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/monogamy#:~:text=Reasons a person might choose,limited time or limited energy.
> Monogamy is all I need, good grief, one mother-in-law is enough.


Same here!


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## Bella (May 16, 2022)

I'm willing to share a lot of things, but my man ain't one of them. My husband would never consider it either because he wouldn't want to wake up dead.


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## Buckeye (May 16, 2022)

Saw a cartoon many years ago where an old guy is looking at a newspaper and says to wife"  "talk about your senseless crimes, here's a guy arrested for bigamy"....


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## Sassycakes (May 16, 2022)

terry123 said:


> Not only No, but Hell No!


 You answered it exactly as I would!


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## OneEyedDiva (May 16, 2022)

Alligatorob said:


> I agree with this, but it ain't just men.  They were not alone on those one night stands.  I don't think we are particularly faithful by nature.


Sorry Rob...just seeing your reply. You are right. When I was interviewing STD patients, I saw cheating husbands and cheating wives (or S.O.s of both). Several years ago I read a statistic that showed more wives than I imagined cheated on their spouses but the percentage of husbands doing so was still higher. According to this article updated April 2022 (an interesting read), the statistics are much lower than what I read years ago:
_"Cheating is not very common at all; fewer than 25% of men admit to having cheated on their spouse, while at least 15% of women admit to having cheated on their spouse. Although these numbers might be higher than is comfortable for people who believe that cheating is always wrong, there is some comfort in knowing that not everyone cheats, no matter how common it may seem."
https://www.regain.us/advice/infide...istics-and-figures-for-infidelity-in-the-u-s/_


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## Alligatorob (May 16, 2022)

OneEyedDiva said:


> Several years ago I read a statistic that showed more wives than I imagined cheated on their spouses but the percentage of husbands doing so was still higher


That is interesting, do you know how it works?  

Assuming we are talking about heterosexual things the numbers should be 1:1.  Or do a smaller number of women commit adultery more frequently or something?


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## OneEyedDiva (May 16, 2022)

Alligatorob said:


> That is interesting, do you know how it works?
> 
> Assuming we are talking about heterosexual things the numbers should be 1:1.  Or do a smaller number of women commit adultery more frequently or something?


I am talking about heterosexual marriages and/or shackings. I don't know how you came up with the 1:1 ratio.  And do you mean frequently as how many times with one outside partner or how many different outside partners the woman had?


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## Alligatorob (May 16, 2022)

OneEyedDiva said:


> I don't know how you came up with the 1:1 ratio.


Just thinking there had to be one of each, one man, one woman each time.


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## OneEyedDiva (May 16, 2022)

Alligatorob said:


> Just thinking there had to be one of each, one man, one woman each time.


Yes, but both partners in an affair are not necessarily married or in committed relationships. Don't forget there are many more women than men and many of these women are single.


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## Alligatorob (May 16, 2022)

OneEyedDiva said:


> Don't forget there are many more women than men and many of these women are single.


That makes sense, I wasn't thinking of single women.  Thanks!


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## JonSR77 (Jun 13, 2022)

I don't think you can excise jealousy from human nature enough to make any of that work, without huge, huge problems.

There would be huge resentments.

In my performer days I knew some wilder people who experimented with three people in a relationship. All wacky and weird stuff. Never worked.

I think the historical origins of polygamy are all practical. Just trying to keep up the population, so that there are enough people to get all the necessary work done. I think it evolves out of that. 

If some folks want to honor ancient customs, I get that. But pragmatically, I think it has to create too much human jealousy.


So, we had a friend who was auditioning for the rock band, "Hole," headed by Courtney Love, the former wife of Kurt Cobain.

Her immediate previous boyfriend had convinced her to have a menage a trois...

It was pretty much the straw that broke the camel's back and she left him.


So, the auditions are going well. But the band members keep coming up to her and saying, "you know, if you make the band, you are going to have to work with Courtney..."

That happened about 5 times. And she had just quit "menage a trois" boy and got into a wonderful loving relationship. She said, "you know what...there are more important things than rock"...and she quit the auditions.


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## Alligatorob (Sep 24, 2022)

Hey @Aneeda72 good to see you here.

How are things?


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## Aneeda72 (Sep 24, 2022)

Alligatorob said:


> You are right, long run it doesn't really work.
> 
> One of the lesser know evils of some of the polygamous sects around here is the abandonment or driving out of many of their teenage boys.  It's how they deal with the problem.
> 
> There was a good documentary made about it, here is a trailer:


The abandonment of the boys is a horrific practice of many of the polygamous sects in Utah and Arizona.  The sects are both religious and non religious.  I think the more “modern” sects or even individual polygamous families are, in fact, more about the sisterhoods/friendships of the women involved and less about the men.

The tv show ”sister wives” was a somewhat typical, religious, polygamous example of an LDS/Mormon polygamous family.  The family is now breaking up, but it is interesting that the male/husband says that the sons of one wife are old enough to move out and be on their own.  While he has never made such claims about his daughters who need to continue to be protected.  It seems the wives are more upset by the loss of a sister wife than the husband.

The show ”seeking sister wives” is extremely interesting as various individual males seem to seek polygamous relationships and their wives agree.  In one of these families, a male had two “wives” and they were seeking a third.  What was shocking, to me, was the fact that the WIVES married each other.  This was learned in an episode when a third wife was brought into the group.  It was explained when a fourth wife joined the group, the third wife would marry her.

In “seeking sister wives” the male DOES NOT WORK, all the woman do.  The woman support this man who does nothing. There are no children but one of the wives is currently pregnant.  This show while somewhat boring does have it moments.  This revelation was one of them.


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## Aneeda72 (Sep 24, 2022)

Alligatorob said:


> I know it goes against many of our sensibilities, but that's cultural, not human nature.  If it works for consenting adults, like @OneEyedDiva I see nothing wrong with it, and it is allowed by her religion.


I agree.


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## Alligatorob (Sep 24, 2022)

Aneeda72 said:


> The abandonment of the boys is a horrific practice of many of the polygamous sects in Utah and Arizona.


Yes it is awful, and the truth is Polygamy could not exist without some form of this.  Not is a world with a roughly 50/50 male/female ratio.


Aneeda72 said:


> In “seeking sister wives” the male DOES NOT WORK, all the woman do. The woman support this man who does nothing.


Hmm, maybe that wouldn't be so bad...


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## Aneeda72 (Sep 24, 2022)

Alligatorob said:


> Hey @Aneeda72 good to see you here?
> 
> How are things?


Thanks.  I have my usual challenges .


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## Aneeda72 (Sep 24, 2022)

OneEyedDiva said:


> Oh you poor thing. What world do you live in?!! A huge number of men admit to having affairs, some only one night stands. I got to interview hundreds of men from all walks of life during my career in public health when they came to clinic or even went to their private doctors because they contracted or were exposed to sexually transmitted diseases. Most of the time the wives were clueless about what their husbands were doing. One man told me he'd had sex with several prostitutes without using a condom but used a condom with his wife. Not wanting to sound unprofessional I *had* to ask..."isn't that ass backwards?!" And guess what? He knew all their back stories and at least one was known to him as having HIV!!
> 
> In actuality, it is believed that monogamy goes against human nature. This is an excerpt from Psychology Today:
> _"Looking at monogamy from a cross-cultural perspective suggests that monogamy isn’t a universal norm. Many cultures have legal polygamy as well as prostitution. In fact, most of the patriarchs and kings of the Hebrew Bible had multiple wives and concubines as was customary of ancient Middle Eastern cultures. The early Mormons believed they were just following the Old Testament in practicing polygamy." _Here's the entire article: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/between-the-sheets/201904/is-monogamy-natural


I agree.  I do think that monogamy goes against human nature.  Had I known and understood about polygamy, when I was younger, I think I would have been interested.  I actually think, in the right situation, it’s an excellent ideal; whether there is a religious component or not.  And a better situation for the children regardless if the adults involved are sane, caring, individuals; or nut cases-like the adults in all my childhood.

My father married, and divorced, at least 5 times and possibly more.  There are 10 known half siblings.  One child, first marriage, one child second marriage, two children third marriage, two children fourth marriage, four children fifth marriage.  How much better for us to be in a polygamous family where we, the children, KNEW and supported each other.

Instead we grew up in our individual families.  I was the only sibling, in the early years, who knew about the others, due to certain circumstances.  I have met 7 of them, written on a limited basis to 2 others, and never met or interacted with the tenth one.

It is interesting to note that my brother, son of the third wife, refuses to acknowledge his half siblings.  My fathers second son acknowledges half siblings, and looks exactly like his dad.  The last son of my father also refuses to acknowledge any but his full siblings.  

Serial marriages, serial divorces are very bad for children.


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## Packerjohn (Sep 24, 2022)

Not a chance.  I have been married twice and have always been faithful to my wives.  I'm definitely a "One Woman Man at One Time."


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## mrstime (Sep 25, 2022)

fuzzybuddy said:


> I'm not trying to be funny, but I found a relationship with female to be exhausting, and not exactly the most non-confrontational relationship I ever had. Women tend to be women. OMG!!!!!!!! I can't image a house full of them.  If I moved in another "wife" on my ex, they'd never find my body. To be honest, I can't see "love' as the glue keeping a polygamous relationship together. I fear the glue is abuse.


On the show Sister Wives, at the beginning, Cody says " I believe love should be multiplied" but when he was asked once about a woman having more than one husband he said "the idea makes me sick". So he doesn't really believe love should be multiplied.


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## RadishRose (Sep 25, 2022)

I'd be more interested in having "brother husbands"!


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## mrstime (Sep 25, 2022)

RadishRose said:


> I'd be more interested in having "brother husbands"!


Yeppers!


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## Trish (Sep 25, 2022)

No way!  I grew up having to share clothes, books and toys with my sisters, I'm done with sharing!


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## jujube (Sep 25, 2022)

RadishRose said:


> I'd be more interested in having "brother husbands"!


I can barely handle them one at a time......


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## Aneeda72 (Sep 27, 2022)

jujube said:


> I can barely handle them one at a time......


Truer words were never spoken


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## JaniceM (Sep 27, 2022)

At the risk of sounding like an over-the-hill-fuddyduddy (nah) or a hopeless romantic (absolutely not), where would they fit the concept of Love into that type of arrangement?  Individuals cannot be genuinely in love with a dozen different people at the same time.


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## Aneeda72 (Sep 27, 2022)

JaniceM said:


> At the risk of sounding like an over-the-hill-fuddyduddy (nah) or a hopeless romantic (absolutely not), where would they fit the concept of Love into that type of arrangement?  Individuals cannot be genuinely in love with a dozen different people at the same time.


Hmm, well in love-probably not.  But as you know “in love” is short, then its substained love, then its-ok I still like you we can make it work, then it’s therapy and we can make it work for the children, then it’s oh dear lord what did I ever see in you, and then it’s divorce or it is what it is and we will just be roommates.

Except in a plural marriage it’s you can skip me in the rotation.


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## RadishRose (Sep 27, 2022)

jujube said:


> I can barely handle them one at a time......


If they were any good, you would.


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## Teacher Terry (Sep 28, 2022)

I have been watching the show for years as I found it interesting. It doesn’t appear that he ever loved Christine. The only wife he has a real relationship anymore is Robin.  He is ruining his relationships with his adult kids. Polygamy isn’t for me but I don’t care what adults do.


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## Aneeda72 (Nov 12, 2022)

Teacher Terry said:


> I have been watching the show for years as I found it interesting. It doesn’t appear that he ever loved Christine. The only wife he has a real relationship anymore is Robin.  He is ruining his relationships with his adult kids. Polygamy isn’t for me but I don’t care what adults do.


How funny.  I’ve watched it from the beginning and I’ve always felt that Christine was always very jealous of the others wives.  Christine always felt she had the least in time, space, etc.  I think it was her jealousy that’s led to the breakup.

As for Robin, she has the youngest kids.  It is typical LDS poly families to lend toward care of the younger kids, and “get rid” of the older boys.  He said several times how his older sons needed to be on their own and how his youngest children needed to be protected.  I don’t think it has a lot to do with Robin.

Wouldn’t be surprised if with, Christine gone, he seeks another wife.


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## dobielvr (Nov 12, 2022)

As for Robin, she has the youngest kids. It is typical LDS poly families to lend toward care of the younger kids, and “get rid” of the older boys. He said several times how his older sons needed to be on their own and how his youngest children needed to be protected.' I don’t think it has a lot to do with Robin.'
******************************************************************

ha ha...Don't tell Robin that


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