# Adjusting To Being Alone



## Lon (Apr 20, 2016)

I was successfully and happily married for 32 years to my first wife and then became a widower & then happily married to the second wife for 23 years and amicably divorced. I enjoyed married life both times but at my age now, have no intention of getting married, instead, I have found my frequent companion to be a lovely woman that was my office mgr. for over 20 years. She was a good friend to my daughter and first wife and my first wife taught her husband oil painting.
She lives alone in her own home and is 15 minutes away from the apartment that I live in. We enjoy each others company, but like our space as well. We will have occasional meals that each of us will prepare at our respective residences as well as occasional dining out, movies, plays etc. Our relationship has always been business and platonic. We are both in reasonably god health and financially stable.


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## Guitarist (Apr 20, 2016)

Doesn't sound so alone to me.  Sounds like a good, comfortable friendship.  That's a good thing!


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## Ameriscot (Apr 20, 2016)

That sounds ideal, Lon.  

If I were widowed I wouldn't want a romantic relationship again, but companionship with someone with similar interests whether male or female.


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## Bettyann (Apr 20, 2016)

Lon, that sounds like a most ideal and wonderful friendship you have going with that lady! Good for the both of you!!


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## Shalimar (Apr 20, 2016)

Sounds marvelous, Lon.


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## Falcon (Apr 20, 2016)

I have a similar situation Lon.  A beautiful lady sold her too big-for-her house in town.  While she was waiting for the right house to come onto
the market, she could stay with me.  She's still here.  She cooks,  cleans  and loves to tend the garden + she's eye candy  having won the
Miss Maryland beauty contest when she was 17 y/o.  In the evenings, we sit on the patio watching the moon rise while sipping cocktails etc.

Couldn't want a better companion.


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## SeaBreeze (Apr 20, 2016)

Sounds great Lon!


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## fureverywhere (Apr 20, 2016)

Ameriscot, if we survive the next decade...wink wink...
But I can add my Dad's partner, both together through so very much. They maintain separate apartments but spend weekends and holidays, much time together. Both are fussy housekeepers and happier with their own space. It works for them ya know?


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## Guitarist (Apr 20, 2016)

Wow, I wish I could find a companion to spend time with or even share a (very spacious) house with.  I need my own space, but it would be nice to have a good friend to depend on to be there, who I could feel would depend on me too.  

I have a friend who professes to want me to move to Michigan so we could spend time together and do things together but isn't making any effort to find me a place to live up there and I can't do much from 900 miles away, so I'm giving up on that idea and trying to find a place I will like so much I won't need any friends to share it with.


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## Butterfly (Apr 22, 2016)

I live alone and love it (most of the time).


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## Pinky (Apr 22, 2016)

It would be nice to have a platonic friendship with someone of the opposite sex, just for companionship .. dinner or a movie a couple of times a week. I'm at the point in my life that another marriage or moving is not what I want, though the opportunity did present itself not too long ago, but I couldn't see myself immigrating again. I choose to stay where I can easily see my only child whenever I want. I'm also quite independent and need my own space.


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## Ameriscot (Apr 23, 2016)

fureverywhere said:


> Ameriscot, if we survive the next decade...wink wink...



We are both very healthy and fit and I'm hoping to hit 90, but one never knows.  So we'll just keep our 13 year old car and wait on putting on a new roof and spend our money on enjoying life and traveling the world.


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## Kitties (Apr 23, 2016)

I'm sure it's nice to have a companion for company.

This reminds me of my stepfather's brother who's lady friend was the widow of one of his old Navy buddies. He was also widowed. I think it's nice companionship for people who were used to being married.


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## Pandee (Apr 27, 2016)

I was a widow for 6 years before I met someone I really enjoyed being with. We dated for 6 years, waiting for our children to be grown, and just celebrated our first anniversary. I thank God every day for this wonderful man who has entered my life.  I think no matter what form companionship takes in our life, what feels right for us, it is  wonderful to share our lives with others.


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## Ameriscot (Apr 27, 2016)

Kitties said:


> I'm sure it's nice to have a companion for company.
> 
> This reminds me of my stepfather's brother who's lady friend was the widow of one of his old Navy buddies. He was also widowed. I think it's nice companionship for people who were used to being married.



If my husband died before me, I would probably go on tours although I'm fine traveling alone.


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## fureverywhere (Apr 27, 2016)

If it makes anyone feel better my grandfather continued to date until he was almost ninety. I mean he wasn't a player or anything but he had a series of maybe three lady friends. One passed away and one moved to Florida, but they still had a happy long distance relationship.


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## Ruthanne (May 7, 2016)

Ameriscot said:


> That sounds ideal, Lon.
> 
> If I were widowed I wouldn't want a romantic relationship again, but companionship with someone with similar interests whether male or female.


Tlhat's the same way I feel Annie.  I'm done with romance.  A nice friend would do.  I am talking with a man from POF.  We have a lot in common.


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## AprilSun (May 8, 2016)

Ruthanne said:


> Tlhat's the same way I feel Annie.  I'm done with romance.  A nice friend would do.  I am talking with a man from POF.  We have a lot in common.



That's exactly how I feel also! My husband passed away 3 years ago and right now, I'm not interested in romance but a friend would do just fine. Some may say it hasn't been long enough but at this age, I don't want to start over.


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## Pandee (May 8, 2016)

I waited 3 years following my husband's death to even go out with friends. One day I was on a forum and the topic was being a widow. I realized I was actually on a forum for POF. Dating was ok, but I really wanted someone to share the rest of my life with. I married my perfect someone a year ago. And yes we met on POF.


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## Ameriscot (May 8, 2016)

I had two disastrous marriages when I was younger and married current husband at age 48.  Nobody else could measure up to him and I'd have no desire to invest myself in a relationship other than platonic if I was alone.


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## MN Ryder (May 9, 2016)

I don't think I would ever marry again if something happened to my wife, but I cannot see myself living alone either.  I'm sure I will have horses & at least one dog around as companions for a very long time.


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## Butterfly (May 11, 2016)

AprilSun said:


> That's exactly how I feel also! My husband passed away 3 years ago and right now, I'm not interested in romance but a friend would do just fine. Some may say it hasn't been long enough *but at this age, I don't want to start over*.



Neither do I, AprilSun.  Just too much trouble.  I'm not up to drama anymore.


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