# Help Son Help Mom and Dad - Different Levels of Care Needed



## scoseg (Jul 3, 2016)

Hello,
My parents are in their mid to late 60s and in great physical shape.  My mom has been taking care of my father who was diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia over six years ago.  She has done an incredible job and is the most loving person on the world but it has been taking a toll as the disease progresses.  

They live in Kansas with no other family nearby as my brother and I live on opposite coasts.  

We are exploring what options might be available other than putting my father in formal nursing care.  My mother is starting to search (and I want to help) for something like a retirement community where she can live her active and social lifestyle while also getting more help with my father.  Possibly skilled nursing, possible memory care, possible adult day care.  They still love to walk together, swim and both go to the gym together most days of the week - each with their own personal trainers.

Could I kindly request advice from those on this forum for how to look for a place that could help my mom enjoy her life with my dad - giving her a chance to do what she loves while not caring for him 24x7.  She has had some in home care help but they live in a small town and that care is not readily available if she has had a night where he get's up and won't sleep and just needs someone to swing by for a few hours.

She is looking in Florida and anywhere around Georgia (where I live) since her only grandchild is here and she would love to be closer (and we would love to have them closer).  At first she is looking to find a place to stay a few months out of the year but then move there full time when needed.  

Thank you for any guidance on who to talk to, where to search or even what to search for.  Hoping there is a mix of a nice retirement community that also has memory care or adult day care available.

Thanks again


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## Don M. (Jul 4, 2016)

It sounds like a "retirement community" would be a good option for your folks.  We are looking at such a place if our health, etc., dictates that living in the boondocks is no longer an option.  Here is a great place we have looked at, and I'm sure there are similar facilities in your part of the country.

http://www.jkv.org/


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## Myquest55 (Jul 5, 2016)

If you keep hitting the buttons and searching on line there are a number of lists and comparison sites.  That is how I found these while doing my search:

http://www.retirementliving.com/    you can search by state and they have a lot of other resource information here too.

http://www.carepathways.com/      options for various levels of care 

http://www.retirementinvestigator.com/   has links to a number of other helpful sites

http://www.topretirements.com/     might also be helpful

You probably want a community that offers the whole range of services from independent living to nursing and hospice care - AKA "CCRC".  I am in SE Tennessee and there is only one place in our area that offers that.  Florida has a lot of them but I haven't seen too many in the other SE states.  Not all the retirement communities are listed on these sites - keep digging.  A few years ago I would have recommended the phone book - if they want to be near you - but in our efforts to make things easier to access, it has gotten more complicated.  Good luck - we're here to help!


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## Sunny (Jul 7, 2016)

I've heard very good things about The Villages in Florida. I don't know if they have assisted living available there, but it might be worth looking into. Here's their website:

https://www.55places.com/florida/communities/the-villages#overview


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