# Realization of "Ego-Driven"



## imp (Jan 17, 2016)

Hardly any philosopher, nor student of the "mind", I still marvel at the degree of enchantment folks seem to gain by making others look inferior, in lots of ways, to themselves. 

Suggests an imp imponderable. My wife just returned from 2 weeks in Indiana, where her kid sister revealed more about her pending divorce. Their oldest child is 33, her sister being married almost as long as we are. Betsy spoke of her husband's infidelity having gone on for years now. Came to ba head when HE sought divorce. Seems Vince, 58, has taken up with a 28 year-old lady whom he met while they were Town Board members. She, divorced, has at least one child, is evidently a very "mod" and "today", politically totally correct, complete with a shaved head covered with sexy tattoos! Stuff mens' dreams are made of, I guess. 

Vince and Betsy have 3 kids, the boy is 33 and single, and the girls are 28 and 31, both quite well-adjusted family-wise. They despise their Dad for his actions. The son had his first ever Son-Father real discussion, not a happy one at all. 

Vince grew up poor, many siblings, worked consistently throughout the marriage, but acted always as though "inflated", the need to "show out", as the Hoosiers call "showing-off". He was driven by ego. Betsy was initially emotionally devastated, gradually became accepting of the fact that she allowed circumstances to remain intact for far too long. She would now like to get the deal done. Resolution will not be quick, nor easy. There are several communally-owned paid-off properties which must be disposed of. 

We are viewing their situation from afar, wishing a way to help out were present, but there is none. The story is much more involved than I explain it, but why would strangers care? Looking back over the years, we both privately viewed Vince as a worm, at best, A. H. at worst. We likely will never see him again, though he was "family" over thirty years.

So, I reflect upon the thought that, usually, Ego drives young folks, from very early on, rarely does one "come on" as obviously self-respecting, observant of events, but not driven by need to "look better" than his/her peers. Such rarities are readinly distinguishable: I married such a person, TWICE, actually! But two different girls. It seems, Ego drives the elderly, for lack of a better term, much less intensely than the young. Am I wrong? 

Don't bruise my Ego!   
imp


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## Shalimar (Jan 17, 2016)

Hmmm. I have found that ego has far less to do with age, than temperament. There are many reasons for  lifelong egocentric 
behaviour, IMHO, a lack of empathy the most prominent, destructive. When one's world ends at the tip of one's nose, emotional myopia is inevitable.


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## SifuPhil (Jan 17, 2016)

Shalimar said:


> When one's world ends at the tip of one's nose, emotional myopia is inevitable.



Amen, Sista'! Tell it like it is! 

I wonder if part of Vince's acting out was his compensation for his poor childhood?


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## Shalimar (Jan 17, 2016)

Perceptive premise Philly. As children's author, Madeleine L'Engle once said, everyone can have a childhood/adolescence, even as an adult. I certainly did. Of course, she was not referring to this particular form of behaviour. lolol.


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## Linda (Jan 17, 2016)

I don't think ego is age related.  But then again I don't know a whole lot of elderly people.


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## imp (Jan 17, 2016)

Linda said:


> I don't think ego is age related.  But then again I don't know a whole lot of elderly people.



Lin, I think this sort of thing is just as you say; it's subjective, and who can say what "Ego" really means, how to measure it, or who has or avoids it? Seems to me a lot of the old farts we see around here, mostly tourists this time of year, are driven by some need to "show off" their prowess.

But, Geez, right now, at $ 0.65  Canadian to the U.S. dollar, the Canucks have been complaining to any who'll listen, especially the Casino Cage Tellers! 

Sorry, Shali, but it's true.   imp


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## Cookie (Jan 18, 2016)

Ego driven is nothing new and not so unusual and not limited to oldsters  -- most humans get into their egos at some time or other more often than not, dressing up, house proud, shoe proud, car proud yada yada yada. It is our way.


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## tnthomas (Jan 18, 2016)

imp said:


> Hardly any philosopher, nor student of the "mind", I still marvel at the degree of enchantment folks seem to gain by making others look inferior, in lots of ways, to themselves....................
> ............So, I reflect upon the thought that, usually, Ego drives young folks, from very early on, rarely does one "come on" as obviously self-respecting, observant of events, but not driven by need to "look better" than his/her peers.



I think a lot of what appears to be "ego" in the behavior of young folks may actually be akin to the mating drive observable in animals.  For example, the male chicken(a rooster) has got to be one of the most egotistical behaving creatures in the world, immaculate feathers, chest puffed way out, will peck anything in his way(including humans).  Very arrogant and c_ock-sure_!






But alas, every rooster has their downfall, as they do taste alot like chicken!


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## SifuPhil (Jan 18, 2016)

Ah, yes - I remember my younger days!


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