# Loss



## Guitarist (May 30, 2016)

There's an ad on TV currently about a mother in some part of the world where there's a catastrophe. I think she's a refugee. The ad says something like "Imagine that all of a sudden with no warning you lose your home." I haven't the whole ad, but the basic message is, people can lose a lot all of a sudden, so send money to this organization to help them. 

How come there are no ads about helping people who have lost friendships without warning?  No one has died, but people have just decided they don't need certain people anymore, so they "unfriend" them, not on FB but in real life.  They just disappear, don't call, don't answer their phones, don't reply to e-mails, they're just not there for someone who called them friend. 

No one has to send money to any organization to help them.  There isn't any organization; all people have to do is pick up the phone and make a call, or send a text or an e-mail.  Or even -- and this is so much trouble and time-consuming it's easier to send money -- go by and visit  in person.  Hang out for awhile.  

People seem to believe that if a person has no friends it's because they don't deserve friends.  Like if a person doesn't have a job, it's their fault, they just didn't try hard enough to find one or were too lazy or too uncommitted to keep it.  

"The only way to have a friend is to be one."  But you can't be a friend if you don't have a friend.


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## Shalimar (May 31, 2016)

Ouch Guitarist. How blatantly unfair such betrayals are. I hear you, it has happened to me also, without any warning whatsoever. Any attempts to gain clarity fell on deaf ears, all I received was silence. I don't understand what happened, 

perhaps some people are serial friends, in for the short term, unable/ unwilling to form lasting relationships. Loss of a friend, even a false one, is painful. Hugs.


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## Victor (Jun 1, 2016)

I hear you. This happens all the time around the world especially between two genders, boyfriend and girlfriend. As a comic once said, people who are getting divorced should receive presents. They need it more than newlyweds/

I also wonder about friends who do not initiate calls or email but expect you to call them. Then they can say they were too busy.

By the way, I asked you a question on my previous post  in retirement living


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## Shalimar (Jun 1, 2016)

Victor, to whom are you speaking re asking a question, Guitarist or myself?


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## Shalimar (Jun 1, 2016)

Victor, I checked on your previous posts, clearly you were addressing Guitarist.


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## senile1 (Jun 9, 2016)

The one lesson I have learned in life, people will be people , so one can expect anything, and no matter what happens; TRUE friends will always be there.


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## Guitarist (Jun 9, 2016)

Shalimar said:


> Victor, I checked on your previous posts, clearly you were addressing Guitarist.



If someone will link me to the post I will be happy to read it.  I don't know what thread y'all are referring to or why you haven't told me which one.  Is this some sort of game you two are playing, to see if I can guess? 

BTW, there is such a thing as a PM if you really want to ask me something instead of just assuming I'm ignoring you instead of considering the fact that I haven't even seen your post. 

Good grief.


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## Guitarist (Jun 9, 2016)

senile1 said:


> The one lesson I have learned in life, people will be people , so one can expect anything, and no matter what happens; TRUE friends will always be there.



That's just the point, senile1 -- you think someone *is* a true friend, and then they *aren't* there.


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## Shalimar (Jun 9, 2016)

Guitarist, no game here that I am aware of. I responded to Victor's post on this thread, then realised he was speaking to you. I mentioned that to him. I don't understand what the problem is?


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