# Will you stay in your home as long as you can?



## mellowyellow (Feb 17, 2021)

I know some very independent people who will fight tooth and nail to stay in their own home for as long as possible.  Our government supports it too and there's a lot of help available including house cleaning, meals on wheels,  lawn mowing, even showering etc.   Would you rather go into a facility and socialise with others or stay put?


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## Keesha (Feb 17, 2021)

Excuse the expression but ‘hell yes.’


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## FastTrax (Feb 17, 2021)

Excuse my expression but "damn straight"


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## Aunt Marg (Feb 17, 2021)

Without question my own home so long as I still have my wits, mobility and health about me.

As much as I would love to see a along life, if ever I get to the point of having to sit in a highchair with a bib on and be fed and changed, then it's time for me to depart.

As for all of the horror stories about "for profit" care homes, absolutely sickening!


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## C'est Moi (Feb 17, 2021)

Keesha said:


> Excuse the expression but ‘hell yes.’


Ditto.   This is my home and I'm staying put.


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## mellowyellow (Feb 17, 2021)

Remember that story of the old Inuit woman who could no longer use her teeth to stretch the skins and how she walked away from the village, sat in the snow and went to sleep?  Sounds like a great way to go.


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## Aunt Bea (Feb 17, 2021)

I plan on dragging my feet until I don't feel safe and then moving into an all-inclusive independent/assisted living facility.

If the time comes for a move to a skilled nursing facility I would prefer to be on my way.


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## mellowyellow (Feb 17, 2021)

My older (91) sister moved into a care home at the end of last year angry with the world. She didn’t want to leave her home and kept saying she didn’t want to be here anymore over and over again. She has painful arthritis but gets around quite well with a walking frame. From sitting alone in her house day in and day out, never seeing a soul, she has found 3 bridge partners and plays twice a week and her attitude has completely changed. You can hear it in her voice. Now she dresses up every day instead of sitting around in track pants with no make-up. It made me wonder.


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## terry123 (Feb 17, 2021)

I intend to stay here as long as possible.  I do not want to go to a nursing home.


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## Buckeye (Feb 18, 2021)

I guess I've given up on predicting my future.  What happens, happens


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## timoc (Feb 18, 2021)

If I were to go into one of those facilities, it would be imperative that the place be fully soundproofed, so that my farts couldn't be heard and I wouldn't hear anyone elses. I always carry a peg in my pocket.


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## MrPants (Feb 18, 2021)

My mother made it in a 3 story house almost to 100 years old (3 months shy). She's been in a care facility since last Aug. and hates it. It's a decent place and they care for her well but with Covid and all, she's completely isolated to the outside world. No visitors and no outings. Hopefully that will improve as the vaccines make an appearance! Food in these places is always an issue too. They gotta cook stuff that's bland in taste with the texture of mush so you can "gum it".

I don't think any of us have a real choice in how our old age will work out. Health, both physical & mental, will determine that for us. I know I'm gonna do all I can in my upcoming retirement years to remain active and adventurous as long as I can. What happens after that .... who knows. The issue is your mind doesn't grow old as your body does, unless you develop dementia/Alzheimer's. I've seen that in an Uncle and I know I don't want that kind of ending!


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## Glowworm (Feb 18, 2021)

Until they have to carry me out


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## AprilSun (Feb 18, 2021)

I would rather stay here. At least here, I can do what I want when I want instead of what they want when they want.


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## Kathleen’s Place (Feb 18, 2021)

If I HAD a home, I would most definitely stay there as long as I possibly could, money wise and safely.  I would just hope that I would know when those two things were no longer possible and not put my kids through holy hell if it was in my best interests to find other arrangements.


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## Gary O' (Feb 18, 2021)

Aunt Marg said:


> As much as I would love to see a along life, if ever I get to the point of having to sit in a highchair with a bib on and be fed and changed, then it's time for me to depart.





mellowyellow said:


> Remember that story of the old Inuit woman who could no longer use her teeth to stretch the skins and how she walked away from the village, sat in the snow and went to sleep? Sounds like a great way to go



After a visit with Dad in the care home;

What have we done to think it good to keep my hero existing in his filth with confounded thoughts for as long as medically possible……



The Inuits and Aleuts have it right

Long walk

Bonk on the bean               


It’s much more heroic……respectful.


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## Kathleen’s Place (Feb 18, 2021)

Gary O' said:


> After a visit with Dad in the care home;
> 
> What have we done to think it good to keep my hero existing in his filth with confounded thoughts for as long as medically possible……
> 
> ...


Sorry about you hero


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## Gary O' (Feb 18, 2021)

Kathleen’s Place said:


> Sorry about your hero


He was a gamer

I've posted this here at least once

But

Here it is again (heh, seems even more pertinent now);


A few years ago a lad from Scotland, I’d gotten to know, asked me how my Dad was doing, as I’d shared with him my Dad’s failings in what turned out to be his final year.


Maybe some of you folks can identify with what I wrote him.


In any event, I feel compelled to put it here, and probably in my next book.


You see, my Dad was my hero.


Oh, I wasn’t his favorite, but that didn’t matter.


For many years he was God to me, could do no wrong, I hid my wrongs from him.


Sure, as I grew, I saw his faults, but, heh, they were few.


And mine became less as I used him as a life model.






Here’s what I Emailed;










He’s a gamer, Shaun.


Days ago he was on his death bed.


Chemo and infection was taking him down…..quick. 


He’s on the rebound.


To where……. I have no idea.






I visited him last weekend while he was staying at the rehab center (nursing home).


Didn’t readily recognize him.


No hair


Tiny head


Sunken eyes


Chair stickin’ half way outta the room, lookin’ out into the hall.


He looks like wunna those children with an aging disease.


He really lit up when he saw me.


I immediately felt real bad for not coming sooner.


He got up and scooted his chair back into the room, shuffling, pushing.


He invited me to sit.


There was only one extra chair


I think it had a piece of shit on it.


He had some sorta string of dried drool and blood comin’ from his lower lip, ending at his chin.


It made me sick to my stomach to look at him.


My Dad


My finicky Dad


The guy that remained well scrubbed, no matter what he did.


The guy with the weakest of stomachs.


The guy that just couldn’t eat if he thought the cook hadn’t washed his hands.


There he was……..disgusting 


and so very happy to see me.


I wanted to stay and leave at the same time.


We went on a conversation loop.


He has about ten minutes of thought processing, then it starts all over again.


I grabbed his attention by saying I was thinking about going to church.


He did a feeble punch into the air, and displayed a flash of his tenacious old self, gritting his teeth and smiling with delight.


His old eyes lit up again, then welled, spilling tears as he told me how happy that made him.


Now I was disgusted with myself.


I wanted to cry along with him. I just can’t. It’s not in me.


I hadn’t lied.


I do think about it.


I think about conversation with rabid religionaires, and know why none of it is for me.


It was a visit of diverse emotions.


The nurse’s aide came in.


He questioningly introduced me as his cousin.


Well, in twenty minutes I’d completely muddled what’s left of his blithering mind.


I gave him a slight hug and left him with the aide.


Driving home, my thoughts were fixed on him.


What he is


What he once was


What I am


What I’m going to become


I recalled him and his cousin, his brother he never had, and how they talked about their aged parents


There is no fairness


There is just fact


Inescapable inevitable fact


It made me realize my own fallibility


I really don’t want to see him again


I will though


As long as I can make him happy, whether it’s a veiled lie, or just being there, I will see him, hug him, chat with him.


He has earned that…at the very least.


He’s a withered dying old man.


Cancer will take him.


I don’t think I have the guts for this, and what’s next, deteriorating visits


What have we done to think it good to keep my hero existing in his filth with confounded thoughts for as long as medically possible……






The Aleuts know what to do


The long walk and the bonk on the bean.


It’s much more heroic……respectful. 






Thanks for asking, kid.






Enjoy thy youth


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## officerripley (Feb 18, 2021)

I'd rather be in some friendly apt. complex where there were some people around to actually talk to and within walking distance of at least a food store since I don't trust my driving much anymore. But, Huzz says nope, he's gonna have to be carried feet-first outa here so here we stay & here come the auto accidents most likely.


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## Jeweltea (Feb 18, 2021)

There is a difference between the independent living places and nursing homes. My father moved into an upscale independent living place after my mother died. He did not really want to but he was blind and falling down a lot, plus their house had stairs he couldn't manage anymore. A year later, he told me it was the best decision he ever made. They had activities and he made friends and they had a really nice dining room. I am sure he was eating better there since he couldn't cook. I have a lot of friends around here who have moved into similar places and liked it. However, I wonder how they are with Covid. I know a couple of years ago when the flu was bad, they stopped the activities in the one my friends live in and even delivered their meals to their rooms. 

I guess I will try to stay in our house as long as possible. I couldn't afford the kind my dad and my friends live in.


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## Kathleen’s Place (Feb 18, 2021)

Gary O' said:


> He was a gamer
> 
> I've posted this here at least once
> 
> ...


It’s a hard thing to watch. My hero Dad died of cancer also. A sheer skeleton of the man he once was. He was only 64, so way to young in my opinion. 

But I’ve often thought of him and my Mom too. I’m thankful they didn’t live long enough to go thru all of the awfulness of old age. I think, for me, that would have been harder to watch. They both died at home, with all of us at their sides, and dignity still in tact.
I have an inordinate fear of growing to that really old old age. Anytime now would be ok with me...and I can only pray that God is in agreement


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## Llynn (Feb 18, 2021)

I will stay in my home until the County taxes me out of it.  They are well on the way to doing that right now.


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## JustBonee (Feb 18, 2021)

I know I mentally thought that I could stay in my house til  the end of time,  but came to realize  it just wasn't feasible to own a house and maintain it all on my own.   Way too much responsibility,   and it was getting out of my control.  It's hard to face the facts sometimes. 

My grown kids helped,  but they understood my challenges of home ownership,   and were all in when I decided to sell it and move to an apartment.  
 It was all a much smoother transition than I thought it would be. 

But yes,  to answer the original question,  I did stay as long as I could.   That's only natural I think.


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## officerripley (Feb 18, 2021)

Another thing to keep in mind: once you hit the elder years, the less you should own that might require expensive, complicated, hard-to-find, hard-to-arrange repair or upkeep (i.e., refrigerator, stove, roof). Because if there's any person who unscrupulous repair people take more advantage of than the elderly, espec. elderly women with no kids to help, I don't know who it'd be. Admittedly, you can run into problems with landlords too; but luckily some states like mine have good laws protecting renters (except in mobile home parks; those guys bought themselves some good lobbyists).


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## Jeweltea (Feb 18, 2021)

officerripley said:


> Another thing to keep in mind: once you hit the elder years, the less you should own that might require expensive, complicated, hard-to-find, hard-to-arrange repair or upkeep (i.e., refrigerator, stove, roof). Because if there's any person who unscrupulous repair people take more advantage of than the elderly, espec. elderly women with no kids to help, I don't know who it'd be. Admittedly, you can run into problems with landlords too; but luckily some states like mine have good laws protecting renters (except in mobile home parks; those guys bought themselves some good lobbyists).


Unfortunately true. We have a friend in her late 80's with no kids and she has been taken advantage of with repairs (roof, plumbing).


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## Murrmurr (Feb 18, 2021)

mellowyellow said:


> Remember that story of the old Inuit woman who could no longer use her teeth to stretch the skins and how she walked away from the village, sat in the snow and went to sleep?  Sounds like a great way to go.


She was dragged off by a polar bear. That's what I always imagined, anyway. But she was still smiling and waving goodbye to the family (in my imagination), accepting her fate. I'll accept mine, too, when the time comes. Only it won't be ice and a polar bear because I live in California.


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## Don M. (Feb 18, 2021)

We plan to stay put for as long as our health and abilities allow.  If it gets to the point where just mowing the yard is a major challenge, we will probably sell this place and move to an apartment, or senior home in a larger town.


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## Jules (Feb 18, 2021)

Saying yes with the hope I realize when it’s time to move into an independent living, if necessary.   

My mother didn’t have a pot that wasn’t burned solid black.  She knew how to fool people, including me.


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## officerripley (Feb 18, 2021)

Don M. said:


> We plan to stay put for as long as our health and abilities allow.  If it gets to the point where just mowing the yard is a major challenge, we will probably sell this place and move to an apartment, or senior home in a larger town.


Unfortunately, for most people, if you live long enough, it's not a question of _if_ it gets to the point, it's a question of _when_.


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## oldiebutgoody (Feb 18, 2021)

It's strictly stay put for me.  The idea of being pawed (even for medical reasons)  by others is too yucky for me to contemplate.  I'll just stay put and when my time is up they can dump what's left of me in a potter's field.


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## Tish (Feb 18, 2021)

I intend to stay as long as possible.


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## FastTrax (Feb 18, 2021)

This very subject came up in Grace & Frankie on Netflix.


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## Gaer (Feb 18, 2021)

Well, When it's time I'll probably know.  I might fly to Alaska and buy a snowmobile.  Ride off into the  sunset.
or something like that.


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## jerry old (Feb 18, 2021)

When they force me out, they can just bring a casket and chunk me in...


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## FastTrax (Feb 18, 2021)

All I know is when they come for me they'll have to rip my TV remote from my cold dead mitts.


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## asp3 (Feb 18, 2021)

I have no idea because I'm not sure what the future will bring.  Where I live my final days will depend on my health and ability to live unassisted, my wife's condition and whatever my sons do in their lives.

Strangely enough I'm not that opposed to living in an assisted care facility or a senior community depending on the conditions.  One of the favorite periods of my life is when I was living in the dorms in college.  There were lots of folks around to socialize with, all I had to do to eat is go down to the dining hall and I only had a little space I had to keep organized and clean.  If one were to add good exercise facilities and a pool that sounds like it would be a nice life.

I do however plan on doing everything I can to stay in the home we're in now unless one of my sons moves somewhere else in which case we might follow if that's where the grandson would be going.  Thankfully one of the places they might consider moving is Hawaii and I could deal with living there.

However as I said before it depends on what the future brings.


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## peramangkelder (Feb 18, 2021)

The sooner Voluntary Euthanasia is legalised the better
I worked for years and years in a well run Nursing Home
I will NOT end up either waiting for God or in a foetal position in a wet bed in a Nursing Home


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## FastTrax (Feb 19, 2021)

peramangkelder said:


> The sooner Voluntary Euthanasia is legalised the better
> I worked for years and years in a well run Nursing Home
> I will NOT end up either waiting for God or in a foetal position in a wet bed in a Nursing Home



You got a lot of company there.


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## JonDouglas (Feb 19, 2021)

Within days of when my parents went into a nursing home (at their request), my father died and mom went down hill fast.  They lost a big piece of their life and gave up the ghost, so to speak.  I will stay put as long as I can still move or a better offer, or one I can't refuse, comes along.


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## Pecos (Feb 19, 2021)

Not us, I have seen what happens when people do not take a realistic look at what the future holds in store for them. We plan to sell our house, move closer to the children, and live in a 55 year old plus community.


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## Sunny (Feb 25, 2021)

Absolutely, I would want to stay in my home as long as possible.


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## Remy (Feb 25, 2021)

That would be my plan. But I have no idea how it's going to play out.


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## fuzzybuddy (Mar 1, 2021)

Well, I lived in a home for most of a year. I can report that it is way cheaper living in your own home.  Also, the more dependent you are, the more it's going to cost you. Money is a factor in rest homes. Nobody is putting 40 hours a week, because they can't get enough of old people. That said, most workers are kind and compassionate, but also understand the staff is made up of 'walk ins' with little training for the minimum wage jobs. Staffing is a problem in r. homes. While there are more ways to socialize in r.homes, you also run into more problems- like the grumpy guy in 205, or the butinsky in193. Being in group activities may be fun at first, but they can also be limiting , due to the multiple skill levels. Like Mrs. Jones  taking forever to let go of the ball. What I found I didn't like was seeing residents leaving for the last time. Because of the nature of a r.home, death is always coming around.
 Living in the r. home wasn't bad nor was it all that great either. For me, now, I'm in a wheel chair and isolated, but that's OK. All the time I was in the home, I wanted to go back to my own home. That was always an option for me. I'm not sure how I would have made out, if I didn't have that option.


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## officerripley (Mar 1, 2021)

Pecos said:


> Not us, I have seen what happens when people do not take a realistic look at what the future holds in store for them. We plan to sell our house, move closer to the children, and live in a 55 year old plus community.


I've seen it too, seems like hundreds of times it seems like. (I don't think "hundreds" is too far off because I began to notice this in my 20s; worked in offices all my working years and heard *over and over*: "I'm not gonna put my parents in 1 of those awful nursing homes or assisted living places." and when it came time, they had to anyway. Or "I'm never gonna live in 1 of those terrible nursing homes. I don't know what I'll do instead but I'll figure something out when the time comes." And of course, the figuring out what else to do either never happened or came too late.)


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## TabbyAnn (Apr 21, 2021)

mellowyellow said:


> I know some very independent people who will fight tooth and nail to stay in their own home for as long as possible.  Our government supports it too and there's a lot of help available including house cleaning, meals on wheels,  lawn mowing, even showering etc.   Would you rather go into a facility and socialise with others or stay put?


I haven't found any government help for house cleaning and lawn mowing. The only help I found that Medicare provides is personal grooming and medication taking. I don't need help with those, only with cleaning and mowing. Could you provide more specifics on what government program provides assistance on those?  Thanks.


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## mellowyellow (Apr 21, 2021)

There are some very cruel tradesmen out there, a plumber gave a 90 year old woman, (living on her own with no relatives close by) a quote for $2500 to fix a tree root problem blocking the toilet.  We talked about it and eventually a trustworthy plumber fixed it for under $300.  Sharks are out there just waiting for the vulnerable, makes me sick.


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## gennie (Apr 21, 2021)

Yes but it keeps getting harder and harder to do it.  I dread the day I must make a change


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## tbeltrans (Apr 21, 2021)

Question:

Will you stay in your home as long as you can?​
Answer:

Since our mortgage was paid off long ago, yes!   

Most people stay in our association until they are carted off to nursing homes or the graveyard.

Tony


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## mellowyellow (Apr 21, 2021)

I'm hoping to stay in my home as long as I can, but nobody knows what the future holds,


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## JustBonee (Apr 21, 2021)

I stayed in my house as long as  I could!  ... That was over 3 yrs. ago.   ..then decided I needed a life  from all the headaches associated with going solo in  home ownership.  

My 55+ senior apartment is perfect for me.   Life is good   when you don't have worries to bog you down.


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## Homeschoolie (Apr 21, 2021)

We will stay in our home till the very end. 
It is a single level so no stairs to worry about. 
And the land is mostly flat/level. At least the part we need to walk on 
As we age we will just hire more and more things done for us as needed. 
It will cost about the same as paying for two of us to live in Independent/Assisted Facilities with the benefit of a much quieter and private environment..


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## Homeschoolie (Apr 21, 2021)

Llynn said:


> I will stay in my home until the County taxes me out of it.  They are well on the way to doing that right now.


Can you set up a deferred tax on your place?  Many seniors  where I live defer the majority (they have to pay a tiny amount every year a few hundred instead of thousands) of the tax bill and it comes due when they sell.


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## Jules (Apr 21, 2021)

mellowyellow said:


> I'm hoping to stay in my home as long as I can, but nobody knows what the future holds,



That’s the truth. We don’t have a crystal ball.


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## Ruthanne (Apr 21, 2021)

I will live in my apartment as long as possible because I have my pets to care for too.

If I need hospitalization in the future I will have to find someone to take care of my pets for me for a while but when the time comes that I am too old to care for myself properly anymore I will go to wherever I can and get into with my type of insurance.


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## Pepper (Apr 22, 2021)

I'd rather die than go in a nursing home.


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## old medic (Apr 22, 2021)

We are totally rebuilding our house, single level, all 36 inch doors, step in shower, every thing to prepare for old age and disabilities.
Hope to wake up dead here one morning.


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## Jules (Apr 22, 2021)

old medic said:


> We are totally rebuilding our house, single level, all 36 inch doors, step in shower, every thing to prepare for old age and disabilities.
> Hope to wake up dead here one morning.


A wise decision.


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## Lakeland living (Apr 22, 2021)

I will never allow in any way to be put on a shelf in a home. I will be here till it is time.
     Something like cancer comes at me, I will not allow that long slow slid that hurts friends and family so much. I will decide then it is time, either sitting on the deck loving nature all around me...   Another is test drive a shiny new bike or one of those 100,000 dollar trucks.  No not a hero. I agree with many others....when it is time...it is time.


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## Butterfly (Apr 22, 2021)

Ruthanne said:


> I will live in my apartment as long as possible because I have my pets to care for too.
> 
> If I need hospitalization in the future I will have to find someone to take care of my pets for me for a while but when the time comes that I am too old to care for myself properly anymore I will go to wherever I can and get into with my type of insurance.


The trouble is that most insurance is no help at all for long term residency.  Unless you have some kind of special insurance for long term care, you're just out of luck.


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## Ruthanne (Apr 22, 2021)

Well at that point I don't expect to live very long anyways so they can then put me in a big black Hefty bag and toss me...


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## fmdog44 (Apr 23, 2021)

"Life ends when you stop living." I was with my dad at an assisted living "morgue". I was never so destroyed to see him in such a place. You have heard the expression "Come in where it's cool?" Assisted living  is "Come in where it is cruel." I'll never go, never.


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## old medic (Apr 23, 2021)

Lakeland living said:


> Another is test drive a shiny new bike .........when it is time...it is time.


Some years ago we heard a report of someone riding up the interstate, side saddle on a bike, passing cars  hitting over 100 MPH.
Short time latter we get dispatched to a motorcycle wreck on the interstate....
Gentleman in his mid 80's clipped a car passing and went down... He went out on his terms, but left some gruesome memories for a bunch of people.


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## Jules (Apr 23, 2021)

old medic said:


> He went out on his terms, but left some gruesome memories for a bunch of people.


Exactly.  If we choose to go, somehow we have to keep it from being messy for others.


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## Lakeland living (Apr 23, 2021)

Jules said:


> Exactly.  If we choose to go, somehow we have to keep it from being messy for others.


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## mellowyellow (Apr 23, 2021)

fmdog44 said:


> "Life ends when you stop living." I was with my dad at an assisted living "morgue". I was never so destroyed to see him in such a place. You have heard the expression "Come in where it's cool?" Assisted living  is "Come in where it is cruel." I'll never go, never.


The average salary for a *aged care worker* is $23.69 per hour in *Australia*.  (20 Mar 2021) .
CCTV cameras are being trialled in nursing homes in one state (SA) and hopefully all other states will follow. A recent Royal Commission into aged care homes showed evidence of staff being cruel to inmates that was so distressing, it prompted the CCTV camera solution.


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## old medic (Apr 24, 2021)

mellowyellow said:


> A recent Royal Commission into aged care homes showed evidence of staff being cruel to inmates that was so distressing.



INMATES.... thats a term for prisoners here in the states


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## old medic (Apr 24, 2021)

Jules said:


> Exactly.  If we choose to go, somehow we have to keep it from being messy for others.



I got your answer.... couple of concrete blocks, leaky air raft, fishing rod, bottle of Jack Danial's and 300 units of insulin.
Paddle off into the sunset


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## Marie5656 (Apr 24, 2021)

As you know, I gave up the house last year, and moved into a senior apartment building.  I had known I wanted to downsize, to get away from outdoor maintanence.  
This place is great.  Not a nursing home, or assisted living, just apartments for people over 62.  I hope to be able to live out my life here.


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## Nathan (Apr 24, 2021)

fmdog44 said:


> "Life ends when you stop living." I was with my dad at an assisted living "morgue". I was never so destroyed to see him in such a place. You have heard the expression "Come in where it's cool?" Assisted living  is "Come in where it is cruel." I'll never go, never.


My Dad was in a long term care facility for his last 10 years.  He was blind since the '50s, had a stroke in his mid 70s that left him physically & mentally impaired.   He was treated well, the facility was clean and had trained staff.  My dad lived inside his head, in a fantasy world of his memories, reconstructed to resemble his present existence.   I suppose that's as good as it gets...

I would not like being institutionalized, if I were able I'd run away to some homeless camp.


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## officerripley (Apr 24, 2021)

Marie5656 said:


> As you know, I gave up the house last year, and moved into a senior apartment building.  I had known I wanted to downsize, to get away from outdoor maintanence.
> This place is great.  Not a nursing home, or assisted living, just apartments for people over 62.  I hope to be able to live out my life here.


Sounds great; exactly what I'd love to do.


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## Lakeland living (Apr 24, 2021)

We have seniors apartments up this way, seems to work very good, something like that I would check out...maybe


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## Marie5656 (Apr 24, 2021)

Lakeland living said:


> We have seniors apartments up this way, seems to work very good, something like that I would check out...maybe


*Go for it.  Know what you can afford.  In mine rent is income based, so on a sliding scale*


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## FastTrax (Apr 25, 2021)

old medic said:


> INMATES.... thats a term for prisoners here in the states





old medic said:


> I got your answer.... couple of concrete blocks, leaky air raft, fishing rod, bottle of Jack Danial's and 300 units of insulin.
> Paddle off into the sunset



ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! X 1000


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## Lakeland living (Apr 25, 2021)

Marie5656 said:


> *Go for it.  Know what you can afford.  In mine rent is income based, so on a sliding scale*


Not yet I am still thinking where and how I live is perfect for me.
 I also think it smart to keep an eye on options should things change.


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## Liberty (Apr 25, 2021)

Do think its really different for couples than for singles.  That's normally  the rub. When one spouse passes away, often feelings change with respect to current living conditions for the remaining partner.  Sometimes finances play a large part, other times its memories or 
just maintaining the current status que ...perspectives change.


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## TabbyAnn (Oct 7, 2021)

mellowyellow said:


> I know some very independent people who will fight tooth and nail to stay in their own home for as long as possible. Our government supports it too and there's a lot of help available including house cleaning, meals on wheels, lawn mowing, even showering etc. Would you rather go into a facility and socialise with others or stay put?


Where in the world have you found government sponsored house cleaning and lawn mowing for seniors staying in their own homes? Our local Senior Centers don't provide these things. The only thing most Senior Centers provide is meals on wheels and the requirements needed to receive these aren't clear.


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## GeorgiaXplant (Oct 7, 2021)

I live in a granny flat attached to my DD/DSIL's home so I'll probably be here until I'm carried out feet first.


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## officerripley (Oct 7, 2021)

TabbyAnn said:


> Where in the world have you found government sponsored house cleaning and lawn mowing for seniors staying in their own homes? Our local Senior Centers don't provide these things. The only thing most Senior Centers provide is meals on wheels and the requirements needed to receive these aren't clear.


IIRC, Mellow is in Australia, maybe?


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## Alligatorob (Oct 7, 2021)

mellowyellow said:


> Would you rather go into a facility and socialise with others or stay put?


I hope not to live long enough to find out.  But I could change my mind in a few years...


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## fmdog44 (Oct 7, 2021)

My dad had to be moved  in to a nursing home for Alzheimer patients, Saddest, sickest sight of my life. Not as bad as assisted living but not much in my eyes.. I am too much of a loaner so here I'll stay until I die.


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## mellowyellow (Oct 7, 2021)

TabbyAnn said:


> Where in the world have you found government sponsored house cleaning and lawn mowing for seniors staying in their own homes? Our local Senior Centers don't provide these things. The only thing most Senior Centers provide is meals on wheels and the requirements needed to receive these aren't clear.


There is a small fee involved in cleaning, lawn mowing etc which is taken out of the old age pension and provided by the local council.  After delivering Meals on Wheels to seniors for over 20 years, I found most clients were fiercely independent and would fight tooth and nail to stay away from a nursing home.


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## GeorgiaXplant (Oct 7, 2021)

My MIL resisted moving to an apartment complex that was restricted to people 60 and older because...wait for it...she didn't want to be around "all those old people". We finally coaxed her into moving, and she was very happy there around "all those old people" until she died at 87.


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## WheatenLover (Oct 7, 2021)

One thing I know for sure is that I will never live in a nursing home. I will do whatever it takes to prevent that. I signed a DNR so that at least that won't happen.


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## mellowyellow (Oct 7, 2021)

WheatenLover said:


> One thing I know for sure is that I will never live in a nursing home. I will do whatever it takes to prevent that. I signed a DNR so that at least that won't happen.


Me too.


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## officerripley (Oct 7, 2021)

WheatenLover said:


> One thing I know for sure is that I will never live in a nursing home. I will do whatever it takes to prevent that. I signed a DNR so that at least that won't happen.


Besides the DNR, what can be done to prevent it? Not meaning to argue but wondering what to do since I don't want to live in a nursing home either. (Although, since I don't have kids, I'll probably end up in one anyway).


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## Uptosnuff (Oct 7, 2021)

Hubby and I love our acreage and will stay here as long as we're physically able to keep it up.  We're hoping that will be sometime in our 80's, We bought the land and built the house 20 years ago so that will make 40 years that we will have lived here.  I love it so much that I want my ashes spread here.  (Don't know exactly how to accomplish that though)  We built the house with aging in mind.  Bent ranch with wider doors, taller toilets, flip handles on the doors, etc.

When we are too old to manage the upkeep, we will move to an independent living community.  We have some in this city where you can purchase a condo, pay for as many services as you want or need and when the time comes, move into a more dependent care facility.


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## Alligatorob (Oct 7, 2021)

officerripley said:


> what can be done to prevent it?


A good stash of pain killers.

If the time comes that I am not enjoying being here that's what I currently plan to do.  However I am not sure if that time will every come or what it will look like.


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## Ladybj (Oct 7, 2021)

If my hubby passes away before me, I would consider a senior community.  The house we have is very nice but I am not attached to it.. I would sell it and go on my merry way to a nice Senior Community.  However, if I can find (2) great roommates around my age - I would consider keeping the house.


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## officerripley (Oct 7, 2021)

Alligatorob said:


> A good stash of pain killers.
> 
> If the time comes that I am not enjoying being here that's what I currently plan to do.  However I am not sure if that time will every come or what it will look like.


Wow the doctors in your area will still prescribe pain killers? You practically have to be a burn victim or cancer patient to get 'em here.


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## officerripley (Oct 7, 2021)

Uptosnuff said:


> Hubby and I love our acreage and will stay here as long as we're physically able to keep it up.  We're hoping that will be sometime in our 80's, We bought the land and built the house 20 years ago so that will make 40 years that we will have lived here.  I love it so much that I want my ashes spread here.  (Don't know exactly how to accomplish that though)  We built the house with aging in mind.  Bent ranch with wider doors, taller toilets, flip handles on the doors, etc.
> 
> When we are too old to manage the upkeep, we will move to an independent living community.  We have some in this city where you can purchase a condo, pay for as many services as you want or need and when the time comes, move into a more dependent care facility.


My huzz is like you, just loves our acreage and this old country-fried living. What bothers me, though, is you can make all the aging-in-place adjustments in the world to your house but if you're too far away from anything to walk to, you'll be in big trouble when you can no longer drive. And let's face it, if you live long enough, that day will come. Heck it comes sooner than some people are willing to admit (most of whom are men). And taxis and ubers are nowhere near as reliable as they used to be (if they ever were) out in the country; a lot of taxi and uber/lyft drivers quit when Covid hit and aren't coming back.


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## Lakeland living (Oct 7, 2021)

I have loved where I live and have no plans in any way shape or form to leave. 
 Won't bother to list anything other than...NO, not leaving.


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## Ladybj (Oct 7, 2021)

GeorgiaXplant said:


> My MIL resisted moving to an apartment complex that was restricted to people 60 and older because...wait for it...she didn't want to be around "all those old people". We finally coaxed her into moving, and she was very happy there around "all those old people" until she died at 87.


How old was she when she move there?


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## WheatenLover (Oct 7, 2021)

officerripley said:


> Besides the DNR, what can be done to prevent it? Not meaning to argue but wondering what to do since I don't want to live in a nursing home either. (Although, since I don't have kids, I'll probably end up in one anyway).


Well, not to put too fine a point on it, I am willing to die to avoid being in a nursing home. My daughter worked in one, pre-Covid. The patients were not taken care of to her standards (which are reasonable). There is no way I'm going to be helpless in the face of substandard care. It isn't that the staff didn't care, at least I hope not. It is that the home was purposely understaffed so that the bottom line would be effected positively.


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## officerripley (Oct 7, 2021)

WheatenLover said:


> Well, not to put too fine a point on it, I am willing to die to avoid being in a nursing home. My daughter worked in one, pre-Covid. The patients were not taken care of to her standards (which are reasonable). There is no way I'm going to be helpless in the face of substandard care. It isn't that the staff didn't care, at least I hope not. It is that the home was purposely understaffed so that the bottom line would be effected positively.


Ok and I know I'm being stupid here, but how does one achieve a painless death? It's almost impossible to get even mildest of pain meds or sleeping pills anymore so that doesn't leave any painless way, does it? I really don't know?


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## oldiebutgoody (Oct 7, 2021)

peramangkelder said:


> The sooner Voluntary Euthanasia is legalised the better
> I worked for years and years in a well run Nursing Home
> I will NOT end up either waiting for God or in a foetal position in a wet bed in a Nursing Home




I believe Oregon allows rational choice for those with uncurable conditions.


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## Alligatorob (Oct 7, 2021)

officerripley said:


> Wow the doctors in your area will still prescribe pain killers?


Yes, get some from the dentist and others doctors after surgery.  I always ask.  I hate using them so most end up in the stash.


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## officerripley (Oct 8, 2021)

oldiebutgoody said:


> I believe Oregon allows rational choice for those with uncurable conditions.


But does Oregon consider not wanting to be in a nursing home an uncurable condition?


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## oldiebutgoody (Oct 8, 2021)

officerripley said:


> But does Oregon consider not wanting to be in a nursing home an uncurable condition?



Good question. However, I don't have the answer. *Death With Dignity* (USA) can answer: USA - Dying with Dignity (dwdnsw.org.au)


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## Alligatorob (Oct 8, 2021)

officerripley said:


> does Oregon consider not wanting to be in a nursing home an uncurable condition?


I don't know either.  There used to be an organization that would help with rational suicide planning, and not just for those with "uncurbable" conditions.  Just did some Google searching and cannot find it now.

I do not support suicide planning help for otherwise healthy people who want to commit suicide.  Particularly not for younger people who have depression or some other mental condition that should be treated.

However I do consider old age informatory to be an uncurbable condition, though I suspect the law would not always agree with me.  I believe we have the right to decide when our lives are no longer enjoyable and can't get better.  Even if our hearts are beating and we are breathing.  Should be our choice, not the government or anyone else.


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## Mr. Ed (Oct 8, 2021)

I go out from time to time


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## Uptosnuff (Oct 8, 2021)

officerripley said:


> My huzz is like you, just loves our acreage and this old country-fried living. What bothers me, though, is you can make all the aging-in-place adjustments in the world to your house but if you're too far away from anything to walk to, you'll be in big trouble when you can no longer drive. And let's face it, if you live long enough, that day will come. Heck it comes sooner than some people are willing to admit (most of whom are men). And taxis and ubers are nowhere near as reliable as they used to be (if they ever were) out in the country; a lot of taxi and uber/lyft drivers quit when Covid hit and aren't coming back.


Good point about driving.  However, I think there are a lot of ways now to get around driving if you don't want to, or can't.  With all the online everything nowadays you can order what you need online and have it delivered right to your house.  Heck you can even use the teledoc sites for doctor's appts. if it's not too serious.

We are hoping that by the time either of us can't drive, autonomous cars will be viable.  Right now they aren't but I can see the time they will be.


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## Alligatorob (Oct 8, 2021)

Uptosnuff said:


> Good point about driving


Yes it is and will probably be my limitation in the end.  No Uber, Lyft, or taxis available here...

Hope those driverless cars get here in time for me!


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## Sassycakes (Oct 8, 2021)

*I will stay here until my hubby throws me out for a sexier woman!*


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## officerripley (Oct 8, 2021)

Alligatorob said:


> Yes it is and will probably be my limitation in the end.  No Uber, Lyft, or taxis available here...
> 
> Hope those driverless cars get here in time for me!


If they get the many problems of the driverless cars worked out, I guess using them would be okay. However, if you're in an area like me & some others where taxis, ubers, and lyfts are scarce or nonexistent, then the driverless cars will be too. Also, I'd a lot rather have a bunch of stores, bank branch, etc. nearby I could walk to; the exercise would be good and it'd feel more "independent" for me than sitting in a driverless car (no doubt be cheaper too).


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## Sunny (Oct 8, 2021)

Mellowyellow, there are other options than the two you posted about.  Living in a retirement community is one of them. You are not in a "facility," you live in your own home, which could be a condo, a house, or whatever, But you're in a supportive community with tons of activities and opportunities for friendship.

There are "group homes," basically apartments where several people share work and expenses, sort of like young people having a roommate.

For those who need help with cleaning, cooking, showering, driving, etc., there are health care providers who can come to your home to help out. Some work a few hours a day, some a few times a week, etc. And there is live-in help available also. Expensive, but you are able to stay in your own home with your own familiar things.

The "facilities" vary also. Some are basically large apartment houses, where you have your own apartment but sign up for 1, 2, or 3 meals a day in the dining room. And they have lots of social activities. Some of the facilities are old-fashioned nursing homes, some are more like country clubs. Some are based on religion or other common interests. 

Lots of options to choose from!


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## officerripley (Oct 8, 2021)

Sunny said:


> Mellowyellow, there are other options than the two you posted about.  Living in a retirement community is one of them. You are not in a "facility," you live in your own home, which could be a condo, a house, or whatever, But you're in a supportive community with tons of activities and opportunities for friendship.
> 
> There are "group homes," basically apartments where several people share work and expenses, sort of like young people having a roommate.
> 
> ...


Depends on the area you're in how many such options if any. And sometimes, people are unable to move to where such options exist. It's unfortunate but there are a lot of places (here in the U.S. anyway) that are lacking such options.


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## Packerjohn (Oct 8, 2021)

Si!  Si!  As in Mexico.  I want to stay in my own place as long as possible.  Bad signs would be a sink full of dishes, several falls or can't cook for myself.  I live in Canada where there is a lot of help if you want to stay in your own place.  We have "meals on wheels" programs, people can come in and clean and in the cities there are handivans to drive you to an appointment.  I have been in government care homes and I'll tell you I sure don't want to end up there.  It's like the "land of the living dead."


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## Marie5656 (Oct 8, 2021)

Now that I am in my apartment, I plan to.  Many others here het Meels on Wheels, and aide service.  One sweet old lady here just celebrated her 98th birthday.


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## Lethe200 (Oct 8, 2021)

Spouse would like to stay here as long as possible. I'm more open to moving, but then I take care of 90% of everything, LOL – so for me, it would be a relief to move out of this SFH.

Having done a great deal of research when MIL needed a full-service senior facility (she had moderate dementia), we quickly learned to tell good from bad, as well as facing real-time costs. Yes, she was reluctant at first – "I'll know when it's time," she kept saying.

Except that she didn't know, and it was extremely stressful for her only child (my spouse). I finally stepped in and said, "It's time for you to move." The facility we chose for her was top-notch and SHE LOVED IT. She went into the Assisted Living section, with all meals, housekeeping, and activities. The regular schedule, excellent food, congenial socialization, and the safety of a secure 5-acre campus made a huge positive difference in her mental state.

When MIL passed away, we felt confident we had done the very best possible for her. We were touched by how many staff and residents came up to us afterwards to tell us how much they were going to miss her.

As Boomers, we're in a different mindset. We don't want to stay here forever. It isn't an easy house or property to maintain, and cannot be retrofitted for universal access. We will either move into a rental condo, and hire the services we need; or move into a senior facility.

Since it's not likely both of us will die at the same time, much will depend on which one of us lives longest. We are both agreed that of the eight facilities we visited in our area – in which we would prefer to remain, as it's centrally located to services, friends, and family – there are two which rank best. Which one we choose will depend upon whatever the current situation may be at the time.

So our options are: a rental condo next, then Asst Lvg and eventually Skilled Care Nursing; or, Asst Lvg with SCN available if we live so long. One of the two facilities we would choose, is the same one we moved MIL into. We think very highly of them and keep in regular touch; they have an on-site Senior Center and their care of the elderly disabled residents is outstanding. Both facilities are non-profit and fairly small, with less than 220 residents.

We are very fortunate that money is not an issue for us. We each have an LTCi policy with generous unlimited benefits for Skilled Care Nursing, that also pays for home healthcare assistance. Our investment portfolio and pensions income will cover the 90-day waiting period, and after that anything extra needed.


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## dseag2 (Oct 28, 2021)

We plan on staying in our house until the end, since the master suite is on the first floor, but after seeing how well my mother has been attended to in assisted living for the past 4 years I won't rule anything out.


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## Jackie23 (Oct 29, 2021)

My mother died at 99, she was still living at home.....she was able to do this because she was fairly healthy up until the day she died of a stroke, and because my brother and I helped her to stay at home....he did the maintenance around her house and I bought her groceries, paid her bills and took her to her appointments.....she spent her last 20 years preparing for us when she would no longer be here....I intend to do the same for my children....and I'm optimistic that they will be there for me so I can stay in my house.


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## dseag2 (Oct 29, 2021)

Jackie23 said:


> My mother died at 99, she was still living at home.....she was able to do this because she was fairly healthy up until the day she died of a stroke, and because my brother and I helped her to stay at home....he did the maintenance around her house and I bought her groceries, paid her bills and took her to her appointments.....she spent her last 20 years preparing for us when she would no longer be here....I intend to do the same for my children....and I'm optimistic that they will be there for me so I can stay in my house.


That's really an inspiring story.  I have a friend who is 93, still lives on her own, drives and goes to the office several days a week.  And she's had a couple of strokes and recovered.  I visited her recently.  She drove me to the restaurant, was flying in her car and honking at people at lights when they didn't go.  She is amazing, and I want to age like her. 

Unfortunately, we have no children so there will be no one to take care of me as you and your brother have so graciously done for your mother and I've done for mine.


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## kssf (Nov 18, 2021)

MrPants said:


> My mother made it in a 3 story house almost to 100 years old (3 months shy). She's been in a care facility since last Aug. and hates it. It's a decent place and they care for her well but with Covid and all, she's completely isolated to the outside world. No visitors and no outings. Hopefully that will improve as the vaccines make an appearance! Food in these places is always an issue too. They gotta cook stuff that's bland in taste with the texture of mush so you can "gum it".
> 
> I don't think any of us have a real choice in how our old age will work out. Health, both physical & mental, will determine that for us. I know I'm gonna do all I can in my upcoming retirement years to remain active and adventurous as long as I can. What happens after that .... who knows. The issue is your mind doesn't grow old as your body does, unless you develop dementia/Alzheimer's. I've seen that in an Uncle and I know I don't want that kind of ending!


I am hoping my dr was correct in telling me in a month Pfizer has a new pill to treat Covid 89% effective.  We have got to have some social contact with others.  Me included - if I stay home even one day without going out I am lonely.  I am italian and italian people need people although where I live I am the only italian - live in a small town under 4000 people - most people here are German and are tough - it doesn't bother them to be alone.  Wonder why it does me?  Haven't figured that one out yet.  Guess we are all different. But do have hobbies - make prayer shawls and rosaries but still need some interaction with people.


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## Ladybj (Nov 18, 2021)

kssf said:


> I am hoping my dr was correct in telling me in a month Pfizer has a new pill to treat Covid 89% effective.  We have got to have some social contact with others.  Me included - if I stay home even one day without going out I am lonely.  I am italian and italian people need people although where I live I am the only italian - live in a small town under 4000 people - most people here are German and are tough - it doesn't bother them to be alone.  Wonder why it does me?  Haven't figured that one out yet.  Guess we are all different. But do have hobbies - make prayer shawls and rosaries but still need some interaction with people.


You sound like you are an extrovert...I am as well, but I'm more like an ambivert.  Why didn't they come up with a pill first to treat Covid instead of putting the cart before the horse...jmo


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## kssf (Nov 24, 2021)

Ladybj said:


> You sound like you are an extrovert...I am as well, but I'm more like an ambivert.  Why didn't they come up with a pill first to treat Covid instead of putting the cart before the horse...jmo


You know that is an excellent question - the sad story is they had treatment like ivervectin, hydroxychloroquin, dexamethasone and also certain vitamins to help prevent covid or make it not so serious but the CDC were not being honest with the people.  I'm afraid Dr. Fauci ended up being more of a problem than help but lets pray this new antiviral pill will be out soon.  My dr said it will be here soon and everything will be okay.  Wonder if it is just one pill or a full 30-day prescription - time will tell.


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## kssf (Nov 24, 2021)

I think I like to be with people as when I'm home alone I tend to worry about stuff - which is a bad habit - wishing I could stop this negative thinking sometimes because I have many blessings to be thankful for.  Anyway, keeping my mind on something at all times is helping me.


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## kssf (Nov 24, 2021)

Ladybj said:


> You sound like you are an extrovert...I am as well, but I'm more like an ambivert.  Why didn't they come up with a pill first to treat Covid instead of putting the cart before the horse...jmo


What is an ambivert?


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## kssf (Nov 25, 2021)

Because we have to make money on a vaccine. We already had treatments that worked well. Ivermectin and hydroxychloroquin plus preventative vitamins etc. I think we have a very corrupt CDC Director. Very sad.


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## fuzzybuddy (Nov 27, 2021)

I plan to be buried in mine.


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## helenbacque (Nov 27, 2021)

peramangkelder said:


> The sooner Voluntary Euthanasia is legalised the better
> I worked for years and years in a well run Nursing Home
> I will NOT end up either waiting for God or in a foetal position in a wet bed in a Nursing Home


Unless the virus situation improves greatly, i believe elective euthanasia will be available within a very few years.


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## Smiley Holly (Nov 27, 2021)

This is a very good question. Once my husband reaches retirement age we have discussed moving to an area with more mountains out in the Midwest . We have yet to pinpoint that exact location, but Colorado, Montana, Wyoming, Washington State were some that were discussed.


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## dseag2 (Nov 27, 2021)

My husband and I moved to Dallas 16 years ago.  We have frequently discussed moving to another state, but Climate Change is a big consideration.  

When I was working, my headquarters was in Seattle.  It is a beautiful city, but recently they have been inundated with bad weather... brutally hot summers, smoke from the Oregon fires, flooding waters, etc.  I love Washington state and have friends there, but I can't imagine living with that.  We love Oregon as well, but no thanks.

Check out the other states you are considering as well.  It is no longer just about quality of life.  It is about how Climate Change is affecting the areas.  I think we will be staying in Dallas.


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## dseag2 (Nov 27, 2021)

kssf said:


> Because we have to make money on a vaccine. We already had treatments that worked well. Ivermectin and hydroxychloroquin plus preventative vitamins etc. I think we have a very corrupt CDC Director. Very sad.


Please don't turn this thread into yet another Covid argument.  I know you are a new member and you may not be aware, but we've all seen enough of these.  That is not the intent.  Maybe stick with responses to the title?  Thank you.


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## Lakeland living (Nov 27, 2021)

Ditto,,,,,


Keesha said:


> Excuse the expression but ‘hell yes.’


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## fatboy (Nov 28, 2021)

absolutely!


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## Ladybj (Nov 28, 2021)

kssf said:


> I think I like to be with people as when I'm home alone I tend to worry about stuff - which is a bad habit - wishing I could stop this negative thinking sometimes because I have many blessings to be thankful for.  Anyway, keeping my mind on something at all times is helping me.


Continue to think of all your blessings..it may help stop the negative thinking.  It takes time.


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## Ladybj (Nov 28, 2021)

kssf said:


> What is an ambivert?


Enjoy being alone and with others.  Introverts prefer to be alone - Extroverts enjoy being around others, they get their energy being around others - they do not enjoy being alone.


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## richard_saunders (Jan 31, 2022)

Ladybj said:


> Enjoy being alone and with others.  Introverts prefer to be alone - Extroverts enjoy being around others, they get their energy being around others - they do not enjoy being alone.


I think everyone is an ambivert in the end.  We sit somewhere on the spectrum between full extrovert and full introvert.


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## ElCastor (Jan 31, 2022)

One of the biggest issues for those who want to remain at home is transportation. As an enthusiast of tech gadgets I've been interested in the self driving car. Cars capable of true self driving fall into two classes - Level 4 and Level 5. Both might have some area limitations, and 4 will have limitations based on road conditions and weather. Level 5 should be close to limitless.  Various companies currently have Level 4 test vehicles on the road. Elon Musk has claimed Tesla will bring one to market later this year -- a claim which few really believe, but sometime in the next five years seems possible for Level 4. That might make ageing at home a more palatable choice. 

BTW -- something I did for a neighbor living alone. She was concerned that if she became immobile and called the fire dept they would have to break down her front door. It seems that in many areas a locked box containing a door key can be installed by the front door, or an agreed upon place. The fire department is given a key (or combination) to open the box. It's something you have to arrange with the local fire house.


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## dobielvr (Jan 31, 2022)

I hope so..


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## Ladybj (Feb 1, 2022)

richard_saunders said:


> I think everyone is an ambivert in the end.  We sit somewhere on the spectrum between full extrovert and full introvert.


I agree to disagree.  My hubby is a true introvert at heart.  He shared with me that he was so shy growing up that it was crippling.


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## Jules (Feb 2, 2022)

ElCastor said:


> One of the biggest issues for those who want to remain at home is transportation. As an enthusiast of tech gadgets I've been interested in the self driving car. Cars capable of true self driving fall into two classes - Level 4 and Level 5. Both might have some area limitations, and 4 will have limitations based on road conditions and weather. Level 5 should be close to limitless.  Various companies currently have Level 4 test vehicles on the road. Elon Musk has claimed Tesla will bring one to market later this year -- a claim which few really believe, but sometime in the next five years seems possible for Level 4. That might make ageing at home a more palatable choice.
> 
> BTW -- something I did for a neighbor living alone. She was concerned that if she became immobile and called the fire dept they would have to break down her front door. It seems that in many areas a locked box containing a door key can be installed by the front door, or an agreed upon place. The fire department is given a key (or combination) to open the box. It's something you have to arrange with the local fire house.


I sure wish they had those self-driving cars right now.  

We installed a key code lock on our front door after seeing a neighbour had done this.  She had to have the ambulance come in the middle of the night.  We have one code reserved for emergencies.  If I can call 911, I can still give them the code.  Our friends who have the code for our security system also know it.


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## Trish (Feb 3, 2022)

timoc said:


> If I were to go into one of those facilities, it would be imperative that the place be fully soundproofed, so that my farts couldn't be heard and I wouldn't hear anyone elses. I always carry a peg in my pocket.


I have to confess that it took me a minute or two to realise what the peg was for!!!


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## OneEyedDiva (Feb 3, 2022)

I sure hope I'm able to. I've been in my apartment for 53 years and I don't think I'd be truly comfortable anyplace if I needed long term care. There's not too many steps to maneuver and when I had my kitchen and bathroom remodeled years ago, I had grab bars installed next to the toilet and in the shower. My apartment is just under 700 sq ft, so I don't have a large space to deal with. All outside maintenance is taken care of by the co-op. 

My son, Honorary Daughter, grandchildren (and my DIL used to) all say they would not put me in a nursing home. Plus Medicare seems to be making at home care a more viable option. I have an Aetna Medigap plan via my retirement benefits with the State of N.J. They will pay for 35 hours a week of at home care with no out of pocket cost for me unless I exceed 35 hours, at which time I'll be responsible for the rest. That is SO much more reasonable cost wise than being in a semi-private room at a nursing home.


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## charry (Feb 3, 2022)

We only rent since hubbys stroke , so we never know what’s around the corner…..
no light at the end of our tunnel…. but we  hope to stay together forever


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## Ronni (Feb 3, 2022)

Ron and I plan to age in place, and the way our house is laid out that should be possible. One step up and one step down in a couple of rooms but easy to ramp if either of us ends up in a wheelchair. Level entry from driveway to inside.  

That said, I think that we don’t always get to make the decision of where we end up. Depending on our physical and mental health as we age, oftentimes the decisions as to where we’ll spend the rest of our lives are taken out of our hands.

Honestly as much as I abhor the idea of going into a nursing home, I hate even more that any of my children would be saddled with that level of care of me.

I cared for my own mother for several years when she became bedridden, and it’s physically demanding as well as emotionally draining. I finally had to give it up when she became incontinent and I just couldn’t do it any more. She only lasted about three months after she was moved.


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## OneEyedDiva (Feb 3, 2022)

Ronni said:


> Ron and I plan to age in place, and the way our house is laid out that should be possible. One step up and one step down in a couple of rooms but easy to ramp if either of us ends up in a wheelchair. Level entry from driveway to inside.
> 
> That said, I think that we don’t always get to make the decision of where we end up. Depending on our physical and mental health as we age, oftentimes the decisions as to where we’ll spend the rest of our lives are taken out of our hands.
> 
> ...


I hope you will get to stay in your lovely home Ronni.


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## Michael Z (Feb 3, 2022)

Unfortunately, our Wisconsin government doesn’t support it as they allow seniors on fixed incomes to be taxed out of their homes. I think it is criminal!

At best, you can get about $300 knocked off in a credit. But they do offer loans for you to pay taxes


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## hollydolly (Feb 3, 2022)

Michael Z said:


> Unfortunately, our Wisconsin government doesn’t support it as they allow seniors on fixed incomes to be taxed out of their homes. I think it is criminal!
> 
> At best, you can get about $300 knocked off in a credit. But they do offer loans for you to pay taxes


would you mind explaining that more clearly  to a Non-American please..I'm not sure I understand what you mean .. What exactly does your Wisconsin Govt not support ?...


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## caroln (Feb 3, 2022)

I'd have to be dragged out of my house kicking and screaming.  I would be so sad to be taken away from all the things I love and know that most of them will just end up in the garbage.  I know they are just "things" and I shouldn't get attached to them, but ... well, I just hope someone else will take them instead of ending up in a dumpster.


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## Michael Z (Feb 3, 2022)

hollydolly said:


> would you mind explaining that more clearly  to a Non-American please..I'm not sure I understand what you mean .. What exactly does your Wisconsin Govt not support ?...


They do not support the idea of making it affordable for seniors to stay in their homes that they worked their whole life to purchase. There is no significant property tax relief.


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## Geezer Garage (Feb 3, 2022)

Our county in CO cut senior property taxes by 50% after 65, but you have to request it, not automatic. I grew up in Wisconsin. Used to be very liberal, even socialist (city of Milwaukee) at one time. They now are just to the right of Attila the Hun. They seem to spend the better part of their time trying to figure out how to squeeze the last dime out of there citizens. I plan to be in my home until they collect my corpse from my back porch. Mike


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## hollydolly (Feb 3, 2022)

Michael Z said:


> They do not support the idea of making it affordable for seniors to stay in their homes that they worked their whole life to purchase. There is no significant property tax relief.


Oh I see... thanks


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## Irwin (Feb 3, 2022)

We're going to move in a few months. Bleh. So much crap.


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## charry (Feb 4, 2022)

Irwin said:


> We're going to move in a few months. Bleh. So much crap.


Yes , I hate moving ….but you do get rid of a lot of rubbish …


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