# Is This Normal with Cats?



## carouselsilver (Apr 9, 2022)

First, I am a cat person from way back. I usually understand my cats, and have only had two "problem" cats in my life. My current two fur babies are tabby sisters, whom we adopted when they were about 7 months old, back in 2020. One of the sisters has grown to be larger than the other cat. She has now taken to bullying her smaller sister. When it's feeding time, the bigger cat will leave her own food and go for the smaller cats food. I have tried feeding them in separate rooms, but the bigger cat will come and stare at the smaller one until she walks away, intimidated. So I have to stand over her until she is finished eating; needless to say this is frustrating. 

Sometimes she will chase the smaller cat through the house and bite her, hard enough to make her cry out. I have been advised not to interfere but I will not stand by and allow that! I squirt the aggressor with a spray bottle filled with water, but can't watch them all day. 

I have tried playing with them both, showing affection equally, but the bigger girl will watch me pet the smaller one, then attack her. I am about at the end of my rope. Any ideas or advice?


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## Bellbird (Apr 9, 2022)

If they haven't been spayed it does cause problems, or it could be jealousy, she sees the other cat getting more attention or just doesn't like the other cat there.


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## carouselsilver (Apr 9, 2022)

They came to us spayed and with all their shots. At first they got along just fine, but now there is this bullying and jealousy all the time. The bigger cat, Sheena, really bonded with my husband because he doesn't mind her claws. She is very affectionate but likes to dig in when being held.


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## Tish (Apr 9, 2022)

Maybe this guy can help, he also has a youtube channel.

Website

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCheL-cUqfzUB8dfM_rFOfDQ


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## carouselsilver (Apr 9, 2022)

Tish said:


> Maybe this guy can help, he also has a youtube channel.
> 
> Website
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCheL-cUqfzUB8dfM_rFOfDQ


Thanks! I'm watching right now.


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## Liberty (Apr 9, 2022)

We had 2 office cats.  One of them (the smaller female one) kept getting sick.  We took her to the vet and he said she had "idiopathic hypothermia".  This when on and on...one day we came into the office and heard the remaining male cat yawling and chasing the female.  We separated them as best we could, and the female got so much better.  Then, the male died and the female was the happiest cat you could ever have for several more years, where she lived out her life alone.

Think you should find a home for the "bully".  You will see that the other cat will blossom and probably gain 
weight and become "queen of her castle".


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## SeaBreeze (Apr 9, 2022)

Tish said:


> Maybe this guy can help, he also has a youtube channel.
> 
> Website
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCheL-cUqfzUB8dfM_rFOfDQ


I've watched some of his shows on TV, he is very good with cats and negative cat behavior.


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## SeaBreeze (Apr 9, 2022)

carouselsilver said:


> First, I am a cat person from way back. I usually understand my cats, and have only had two "problem" cats in my life. My current two fur babies are tabby sisters, whom we adopted when they were about 7 months old, back in 2020. One of the sisters has grown to be larger than the other cat. She has now taken to bullying her smaller sister. When it's feeding time, the bigger cat will leave her own food and go for the smaller cats food. I have tried feeding them in separate rooms, but the bigger cat will come and stare at the smaller one until she walks away, intimidated. So I have to stand over her until she is finished eating; needless to say this is frustrating.
> 
> Sometimes she will chase the smaller cat through the house and bite her, hard enough to make her cry out. I have been advised not to interfere but I will not stand by and allow that! I squirt the aggressor with a spray bottle filled with water, but can't watch them all day.
> 
> I have tried playing with them both, showing affection equally, but the bigger girl will watch me pet the smaller one, then attack her. I am about at the end of my rope. Any ideas or advice?


You have a tough situation there, I don't envy you, but you are very kind to have adopted the two sisters.  If it was only food bullying, it would be easier to address.  Since she will chase the smaller cat and bite her hard when no food is involved, that is very disturbing, I feel bad for the smaller sister, can't imagine how disturbed you are at this behavior.  

I'm glad you have made use of the water bottle, very effective, but as you say, you can't be watching them all the time and protecting her.  Seems like jealousy is definitely a trigger for the bigger one.  Sorry, but I have no advice, never had that problem in my home.  I don't see an easy out.


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## SeaBreeze (Apr 9, 2022)

Liberty said:


> We had 2 office cats.  One of them (the smaller female one) kept getting sick.  We took her to the vet and he said she had "idiopathic hypothermia".  This when on and on...one day we came into the office and heard the remaining male cat yawling and chasing the female.  We separated them as best we could, and the female got so much better.  Then, the male died and the female was the happiest cat you could ever have for several more years, where she lived out her life alone.
> 
> Think you should find a home for the "bully".  You will see that the other cat will blossom and probably gain
> weight and become "queen of her castle".


I think your advice is good, but it will be very difficult to separate siblings after adopting them as a pair.  If the end result is two happier cats, albeit in different households, then maybe it was meant to be.  My heart goes out to carouselsilver, very emotional decision.


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## JonSR77 (Apr 9, 2022)

We have two sisters.  The bullying has increased in the last few years.  No biting...at least not yet.  They are very territorial...each has her own room / territory. The other goes in that territory then it is war.

There have to be some professional resources...books, videos, whatever which address how to handle these things.

I found this one article...

7 Steps to Creating Peace Between Feuding Felines​

https://healthypets.mercola.com/sites/healthypets/archive/2012/11/23/feuding-felines.aspx


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## Kaila (Apr 9, 2022)

That is a very difficult situation, and you have been trying to improve it, with little success so far, it seems to me. 

It seems to me that you might have to try to separate them for longer periods of time, and more completely.
I wonder if there is a way to be sure they stay in separate rooms, when you are not there to intervene.

If it doesn't improve, and/ or you cannot find a way to keep them from harm, then as sad as it is,  I think it would be best to consider trying to find someone to take either one of them, at least for some trial basis, if not permanent.


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## carouselsilver (Apr 9, 2022)

I appreciate all the inputs! 

Separating them is out of the question, since my husband has bonded with the bully; in fact, so have I. I find her very sweet at times. I am just having difficulty with finding out why she is so territorial with her sister. They used to share everything! At present they each have their own kitty condo, the tall kind. There are two separate fountains for them to drink from in different rooms. They have three litter boxes, and so on. I am already finding out some interesting  stuff from the first website posted, and am hoping to come up with a real solution. But please,know that I do appreciate you all taking the time to reply!


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## dseag2 (Apr 9, 2022)

We have two male cats.  Bugsy is dominant and Andy is passive.  I feed them together but when Bugsy is finished with his food he goes to Andy's dish even when Andy is still eating.  I immediately put Bugsy in the laundry room until Andy is finished.

I have no idea how to deal with a cat that chases and intimidates another.  I do hope the links that were posted may provide some help.  You may also want to post your question on "www.catforum.com".  I have found it very helpful.


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## Kaila (Apr 10, 2022)

carouselsilver said:


> I appreciate all the inputs!
> 
> Separating them is out of the question, since my husband has bonded with the bully; in fact, so have I. I find her very sweet at times. I am just having difficulty with finding out why she is so territorial with her sister. They used to share everything! At present they each have their own kitty condo, the tall kind. There are two separate fountains for them to drink from in different rooms. They have three litter boxes, and so on. I am already finding out some interesting  stuff from the first website posted, and am hoping to come up with a real solution. But please,know that I do appreciate you all taking the time to reply!


Thanks for sharing more of your explanation with us. 
I understand totally, and am very glad that you are able to not consider separating them.
It only seemed like a possible last resort, if you were unable to find a way that the less assertive one could eat enough to maintain their health.

It's great that you already have provided all those things you have, for both of them.
I am sure that you will continue to find additional ideas, too, and I expect that things will work out well.


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## carouselsilver (Apr 10, 2022)

I am the sort that if I adopt a pet, I am committed for life. There have been only two instances where I had to re-home a pet, but I didn't know as much as I do now about cats! In the first instance, the kitty was brought into a single cat home and I had no idea what I was doing, so there was constant conflict with the older cat. I found a person who specialized in sponsoring cats who needed re-homing, (this was before all the awesome shelters and fostering available now) and he found a new happy home. 

The second cat I foolishly adopted into a two cat home and it turned out that she actually had mental health issues. Attacking unprovoked, even while purring in my lap! Fortunately, the shelter took her back. They have a policy of never having a cat put down, even if they have to keep it indefinitely. I grieved about that failure for a long time.   

So I am hoping that with a few tweaks here and there, I can make both cats happy. There is real affection between these two, and it always amazes me that Sheena can be so nasty. Again, thanks for the support! I'm off to watch more videos on that website.


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## carouselsilver (Apr 14, 2022)

I wanted to let you all know that the problem has been solved. I had been hearing about this product called Feliway, but thought it was a lot of overrated hype. Well, I went ahead and ordered the kit. Within two days, we have complete peace. I am amazed at how well that stuff works! The two girls are sleeping in the same spot again, and there is absolutely no fighting. I am so pleased that I could stand on my head! (Not seriously, though.)


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## dseag2 (Apr 14, 2022)

So glad it worked for you and the issue has been resolved!  Amazing!


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## Fyrefox (Apr 15, 2022)

I have two cats, one neutered male and one spayed female, who have a complex love-hate relationship.  They often sleep together like lovers, legs draped over and around one another.  At other times, however, the male will torment the female to the point of hisses and howling.  It may be a dominance thing, a perversion of the hunting instinct, an expression of boredom, or a representation of the battle of the sexes.  He does it because he _can.  _The other side of the coin is that the female will steal the male’s treats, _and he lets her!  _Cats are mysterious and arcane creatures, which is part of the reason why I love them…


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## Remy (Apr 15, 2022)

Glad it helped so much and it's good to know if I ever encountered a problem like that in the future. My two litter mate sisters sometimes get into it over the same sleeping spot but that's about it.


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## carouselsilver (Apr 15, 2022)

Yes, I am totally amazed at how well they are getting along now. I hope this will help anyone else encountering this issue.


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## Kaila (Apr 15, 2022)

Is that something that requires continuing repeat usages?
I had never heard of it.


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## carouselsilver (Apr 15, 2022)

Kaila said:


> Is that something that requires continuing repeat usages?
> I had never heard of it.


I think it needs replacing every six months or so. This is my first time using it, so here's a link that describes it here:
https://us.feliway.com/products/feliway-optimum-diffuser-refill-kit-48ml-30-day


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## carouselsilver (Apr 15, 2022)

carouselsilver said:


> I think it needs replacing every six months or so. This is my first time using it, so here's a link that describes it here:
> https://us.feliway.com/products/feliway-optimum-diffuser-refill-kit-48ml-30-day


Actually, the liquid part needs to be replaced monthly, but the diffuser is every six months,


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## Murrmurr (Apr 15, 2022)

Liberty said:


> We had 2 office cats.  One of them (the smaller female one) kept getting sick.  We took her to the vet and he said she had "idiopathic hypothermia".  This when on and on...one day we came into the office and heard the remaining male cat yawling and chasing the female.  We separated them as best we could, and the female got so much better.  Then, the male died and the female was the happiest cat you could ever have for several more years, where she lived out her life alone.
> 
> Think you should find a home for the "bully".  You will see that the other cat will blossom and probably gain
> weight and become "queen of her castle".


I think they should be separated, too, but it should be the smaller one that goes to a new home. The bigger one has already claimed the owners. Giving her away could make her depressed and weird.


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## Lee (Apr 15, 2022)

carouselsilver said:


> I wanted to let you all know that the problem has been solved. I had been hearing about this product called Feliway, but thought it was a lot of overrated hype. Well, I went ahead and ordered the kit. Within two days, we have complete peace. I am amazed at how well that stuff works! The two girls are sleeping in the same spot again, and there is absolutely no fighting. I am so pleased that I could stand on my head! (Not seriously, though.)


I have used the Feliway product with great success with my guy and recommend it highly. There are two versions of Feliway for both single cat and multiple cat households. I no longer need it but am so glad it was there to get me through some trying times.


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## carouselsilver (Apr 15, 2022)

Lee said:


> I have used the Feliway product with great success with my guy and recommend it highly. There are two versions of Feliway for both single cat and multiple cat households. I no longer need it but am so glad it was there to get me through some trying times.


Glad to hear it! I ordered the multiple cat version, and am waiting to see if I need another one on the second floor.


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## carouselsilver (Apr 16, 2022)

Here's the sisters; Sheena is in front, and Zoey is behind her.


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## Kaila (Apr 16, 2022)

Oh my, they are beautiful, @carouselsilver 
Thank you for showing them to us, so we can put the wonderful image of them, into our minds, along with our hopes for them, and for you.


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