# How are you supposed to feel?



## Lon (Oct 7, 2014)

Someone will ask me How are you feeling Lon? I am 80 years old and don't need a cane or a walker yet, or assisted living so I am not sure how to respond other than to say "I'm fine thank you"  I have no pain but oh my, I do get stiff in the legs after sitting for too long and my fingers are stiff and sore some times, I don't sleep well but get rested OK I guess, because I function fine during the day with driving my car, swimming and other activities. I have had a number of past non critical surgeries and am currently in remission with a rare form of Non Hodgkins Lymphoma so all in all I am grateful to still be hanging around, but the question that was asked of me did get me to wondering if we are supposed to feel a certain way at a particular age.


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## WhatInThe (Oct 7, 2014)

That's a loaded question. I think medical people use that question not just for the answer but how you answer.

I think there is a false and/or selfish perception of how seniors should act and feel. I know seniors trying to slow other seniors down out of jealousy, envy, control or they simply can't keep up. But why can't they keep up. I know too many who say this what happened to my parents at this age but it's 50 years later with 50 years of medical advancements, technology and experience. Old people excuses annoy the heck out of me because they are exactly that. Excuses and an indication of lazyness and ignorance. A lot of seniors came from an era where didn't do anything on their own to fight aging or improve health. This is why it's very hard to convince people you don't use it you will lose it mind or body.

Too many view surgeries/scars, canes, conditions etc as a badge of honor. War stories for their next gathering-that's pathetic. It should be what did you do at the gym today, how long did it take you to mow the lawn, I shopped here and here, went to the park etc. Oh did you hear about so and so he had a colostomy-at the dinner table, what the heck.


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## Denise1952 (Oct 7, 2014)

It's hard to find other, "active" seniors, at least where I live.  I have done all my hiking, kayaking, swimming, walking alone because none of my friends I know from highschool will make time to go, and I've tried some groups in the area, but still haven't found anyone.  I know they are out there, just hard to find.  I started late, around 50 ish before I really started the nutrition and fitness thing.  But as long as I can still be mobile, I am going to try not waste it.  I'm in the middle of a diagnosis on my heart (hopefully, close to a diagnosis) so I can hopefully "feel" safer doing some things.  And I do hope to return to my regular activities.

I wandered off there, sorry Lon.  When people ask me, it is almost always doctors.  I do the best I can to describe things that are hard to describe.  Some symptoms are easy.  If just anyone asks, they either know or think I've been sick, so I just say I'm doing good or whatever.  Others I've had the feeling, in the past, that they almost want to find something wrong with me, like "oh, you look tired, are you ok".  

I'm the type that likes to just greet someone, and even if they look bad, I don't go nosin around, I'm there, and visit with them, giving them an opening to share with me if they want.


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## d0ug (Oct 7, 2014)

Lon congratulation for being 80 years young. Most people guess my age 10 or more years less than what it is and that makes me feed good. When I look in the newspaper and find 95% that die are younger than me. I am 72 and now feel better than when I was 50. 
Lon I bet all the people who ask you how you are are younger than you and jealous. 
Keep going Lon you are going good.


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## Bettyann (Oct 7, 2014)

Hi Lon!
Whatever you are doing, you are doing it right! So keep on keepin' on!! I am 77 and don't look it, but for the last year I got real lax on my walking and exercising and oh MY...it DOES make a difference... It is true that if you don't use it -- ya lose it!  So, I've been having to gear up again and do better.
I know that 'concentrating' on one's older age is NOT good for you... its amazing how much the outlook, the beliefs, the mind itself has to do with how one is doing physically. 
When people feel sorry for themselves because they have reached 50 or 60...I just get impatient with them. Good grief, Charlie Brown, I tell them... you are still SO YOUNG ... unless, of course, you choose to think otherwise!


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## SifuPhil (Oct 7, 2014)

Whenever someone asks me how I feel I just run my hands all over them - that usually gets rid of them in a hurry. layful:


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## SeaBreeze (Oct 7, 2014)

I think you're doing great Lon, keep up whatever it is you're doing, and I hope the Lymphoma stays in remission. :love_heart:  I'm in my early 60s, and I try to keep moving with some exercise and walking, like BettyAnn said, use it or lose it.  I've known some 80 year olds that aren't doing nearly as well as you Lon, and I've known a man who started moaning about being old on his 40th birthday, and he went downhill from there.  A lot of well-being is attitude, at any age really.


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## Meanderer (Oct 7, 2014)

> Whenever someone asks me how I feel I just run my hands all over them - that usually gets rid of them in a hurry.



HAHA! That's funny Phil!


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## RadishRose (Oct 7, 2014)

SifuPhil said:


> Whenever someone asks me how I feel I just run my hands all over them - that usually gets rid of them in a hurry. layful:



That is TOO funny!


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## Denise1952 (Oct 7, 2014)

SifuPhil said:


> Whenever someone asks me how I feel I just run my hands all over them - that usually gets rid of them in a hurry. layful:



Thanks, I can use this, you always have the best "touchy feely" techniques Phil


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## Just plain me (Oct 7, 2014)

My usual answer outside of Drs. is:"I am faking it till I make it." signifying I would rather talk about something else. but you all have inspired me to get off my butt and back into action. I don't know if I am the only one who will admit that they feel old. But if Lon and you all can do so can I.


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## Denise1952 (Oct 7, 2014)

I'm with you JPM  Some days I feel young, and others I don't. It's all about how we feel though.  I don't know how much attitude has to do with feeling, but I "choose" to believe in just how it is, not in some preconceived ideas about "age", Denise


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## QuickSilver (Oct 8, 2014)

I usually just say..."ya know.. Livin' the dream" It's noncommittal.. because "how are you" or "how are you feeling" are greetings.. not inquiries.. and no one really wants to hear your problems.


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## Just plain me (Oct 8, 2014)

this is the only place I have found they will really listen Quicksilver and I am so glad. I told my hubby this was my place and to stay away. Only place I have to rant and rave. He reads my emails, my facebook and my cell phone text. So this is my place.


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## Denise1952 (Oct 8, 2014)

QuickSilver said:


> I usually just say..."ya know.. Livin' the dream" It's noncommittal.. because "how are you" or "how are you feeling" are greetings.. not inquiries.. and no one really wants to hear your problems.



"How are you" is the more likely "greeting".  "How are you feeling" is often used by people that know you are ill, or have been ill.


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## SifuPhil (Oct 8, 2014)

nwlady said:


> Thanks, I can use this, you always have the best "touchy feely" techniques Phil



My tendency to take people literally often gets me in trouble, but it's SO much fun!


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## Debby (Oct 8, 2014)

SifuPhil said:


> Whenever someone asks me how I feel I just run my hands all over them - that usually gets rid of them in a hurry. layful:




That was too funny Phil!  I'm still smiling from that one.


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## Debby (Oct 8, 2014)

Bettyann said:


> Hi Lon!
> Whatever you are doing, you are doing it right! So keep on keepin' on!! I am 77 and don't look it, but for the last year I got real lax on my walking and exercising and oh MY...it DOES make a difference... It is true that if you don't use it -- ya lose it!  So, I've been having to gear up again and do better.
> I know that 'concentrating' on one's older age is NOT good for you... its amazing how much the outlook, the beliefs, the mind itself has to do with how one is doing physically.
> When people feel sorry for themselves because they have reached 50 or 60...I just get impatient with them. Good grief, Charlie Brown, I tell them... you are still SO YOUNG ... unless, of course, you choose to think otherwise!




I'm just following this conversation and thinking of the last email from you Bettyann, that I just read and I gotta say, I find myself amazed that I'm in these conversations!  I can remember thinking that old farts like all of us all were soooo old....and here I am!  Aaaaah save me, I'm getting old too! Oh the arrogance of youth eh? 

Okay, got that out of my system, now back to the question, 'how are we supposed to feel'?  I sometimes wonder if the way I feel some days is the way most almost-60 year olds are supposed to?  Anybody else find yourself wondering that too?  Like, is this normal, should I feel better or am I feeling better than most?  Whatever the case, I'm sure glad that I started exercising when I did you know.  And you're right Bettyann, use it or lose it - really fast.


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## QuickSilver (Oct 8, 2014)

nwlady said:


> "How are you" is the more likely "greeting".  "How are you feeling" is often used by people that know you are ill, or have been ill.




YES!!!!  you are absolutely positively correct~!!!!!   but it still doesn't mean anyone wants to hear the gorey details about your diarrhea or  rash..  A simple "fine"  or  "I'm feeling better" is usually all they are looking for.


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