# My husband is being foolish, IMHO....



## Colleen (Dec 26, 2020)

My husband's son, who's 51, tested positive almost 2 weeks ago. This came from his workplace. There's over 70 people out that tested positive. My step-son has been home and said it's "not anything more than the flu". So, his work called him back last Tuesday because so many are out and they have deadlines to meet, afterall, so he went back to work for 3 days until Christmas break. He did NOT go for another test before he went back to work. He said he felt OK...just tired....so off he went. We did not get together with him nor my husband's daughter and her husband (45 & 52) for Christmas. I have high blood pressure and have stayed away, for the most part...except for Thanksgiving. My husband wanted to go to their house for Thanksgiving because it would have been the first and last time his daughter ever fixed Thanksgiving dinner all on her own. I say last because they are planning on going into the trucking business starting in March and won't be around much (which is fine with me). BTW...I ended up getting flu-like symptoms on Thanksgiving evening (chills, fever, headache) and I think I caught something from his daughter or her husband because I hadn't been out of the house in a week or so before that. We've had our flu shots, so I think I would have been sicker if I hadn't had my annual shot.

I say my husband is foolish because last Sunday, he took dinner over to his son and stayed for a while to talk to him. He said he wore a mask the whole time he was there. I did not go. Then, today, he went over to his son's to get the oil changed in our truck. Before he left, I told him I thought he was being foolish and risking his health and mine. He went any way. He's 80 and in good health, but I just think he needs to be practicing what he's always preaching about staying away from people. That doesn't apply to his kids, I guess. As a matter of fact, his daughter and her husband went out for breakfast yesterday. They don't believe in this mask business but she has to wear one at work because it's mandated. They've even been up to their friend's house in CA (we live in AZ) and came back without her being tested because she didn't tell them she had been there. This was the second time they've been to CA but the first time, her work knew she was there so they made her get a test. She said it was "stupid".

Maybe I'm just over-reacting. I can't make him to not go


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## win231 (Dec 26, 2020)

With this virus, people are playing the "Blame Game."  Many people who get a cold, flu, or Covid look for someone to blame.  Whoever went near them, spoke to them, breathed within 20 feet of them, or anyone who left their house for any reason gets the blame.  With some otherwise-intelligent people, fear removes their ability to think logically & they become morons.  My nephew is an example.

A couple of weeks ago, my sister came by for a visit.  That evening, we both got colds (not Covid; just colds).  Neither of us knew where we got our colds, but her son (37 years old) decided that I gave her my cold & he went into a lengthy, ignorant tirade about how "Selfish & Careless" I am & how I will give his mother Covid, then his kids will get it because we both go to the market (with masks on, as required).  I told him I understand that he's worried because he has two small children but neither one of us knows where we got our colds & a cold is not Covid, but he made up his mind that it was all my fault.  I knew he would blame me if either of his kids or his wife's noses started running, so I'm not going near any of them.  And, when I couldn't reason with him, I said, _"Fine.  Why don't you all just stay away from me; you can all go to hell."_


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## Phoenix (Dec 26, 2020)

Colleen said:


> My husband's son, who's 51, tested positive almost 2 weeks ago. This came from his workplace. There's over 70 people out that tested positive. My step-son has been home and said it's "not anything more than the flu". So, his work called him back last Tuesday because so many are out and they have deadlines to meet, afterall, so he went back to work for 3 days until Christmas break. He did NOT go for another test before he went back to work. He said he felt OK...just tired....so off he went. We did not get together with him nor my husband's daughter and her husband (45 & 52) for Christmas. I have high blood pressure and have stayed away, for the most part...except for Thanksgiving. My husband wanted to go to their house for Thanksgiving because it would have been the first and last time his daughter ever fixed Thanksgiving dinner all on her own. I say last because they are planning on going into the trucking business starting in March and won't be around much (which is fine with me). BTW...I ended up getting flu-like symptoms on Thanksgiving evening (chills, fever, headache) and I think I caught something from his daughter or her husband because I hadn't been out of the house in a week or so before that. We've had our flu shots, so I think I would have been sicker if I hadn't had my annual shot.
> 
> I say my husband is foolish because last Sunday, he took dinner over to his son and stayed for a while to talk to him. He said he wore a mask the whole time he was there. I did not go. Then, today, he went over to his son's to get the oil changed in our truck. Before he left, I told him I thought he was being foolish and risking his health and mine. He went any way. He's 80 and in good health, but I just think he needs to be practicing what he's always preaching about staying away from people. That doesn't apply to his kids, I guess. As a matter of fact, his daughter and her husband went out for breakfast yesterday. They don't believe in this mask business but she has to wear one at work because it's mandated. They've even been up to their friend's house in CA (we live in AZ) and came back without her being tested because she didn't tell them she had been there. This was the second time they've been to CA but the first time, her work knew she was there so they made her get a test. She said it was "stupid".
> 
> Maybe I'm just over-reacting. I can't make him to not go


You are not over-reacting.  Listen to the science.  You are right, you can't control what your husband does.  Denial on his part can be lethal for you and others.  People don't want to be inconvenienced, so they deny there is a problem.   Is there any place else you can stay?


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## Judycat (Dec 26, 2020)

win231 said:


> With this virus, people are playing the "Blame Game."  Many people who get a cold, flu, or Covid look for someone to blame.  Whoever went near them, spoke to them, breathed within 20 feet of them, or anyone who left their house for any reason gets the blame.  With some otherwise-intelligent people, fear removes their ability to think logically & they become morons.  My nephew is an example.
> 
> A couple of weeks ago, my sister came by for a visit.  That evening, we both got colds (not Covid; just colds).  Neither of us knew where we got our colds, but her son (37 years old) decided that I gave her my cold & he went into a lengthy, ignorant tirade about how "Selfish & Careless" I am & how I will give his mother Covid, then his kids will get it because we both go to the market (with masks on, as required).  I told him I understand that he's worried because he has two small children but neither one of us knows where we got our colds & a cold is not Covid, but he made up his mind that it was all my fault.  I knew he would blame me if either of his kids or his wife's noses started running, so I'm not going near any of them.  And, when I couldn't reason with him, I said, _"Fine.  Why don't you all just stay away from me; you can all go to hell."_


You know the next time he catches a bug, he's going to come knocking, right?


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## win231 (Dec 26, 2020)

Judycat said:


> You know the next time he catches a bug, he's going to come knocking, right?


Since I haven't seen him or anyone in his family for several months, he can't blame me for any bugs.  If he does, he will get the same suggestion I gave him on where he can go.  And I'll add a few other choice things about his wife that will make him wish he didn't come knocking.


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## Sassycakes (Dec 26, 2020)

My daughter, granddaughter, and my son-in-law had covid about 2 months ago. They are doing fine now, but my daughter who is an RN will not visit us or let us visit her. Even though they are better, she still worries about her coming in contact with others. I am happy we can facetime so I at least get to see them.


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## Sunny (Dec 26, 2020)

Colleen, your husband is playing a deadly game, with your health and his.  The stubborn denial about this disease is the main reason this country leads the world in cases and in deaths.  The only way to protect oneself (outside of the vaccine) is to self-quarantine, practice social distancing, etc. I wouldn't even trust masks that much. He is pitting his daughter's desire to fix Thanksgiving dinner on her own against your health and maybe your life (you mention high blood pressure, that puts you at risk). Which is more important to him?  I'd ask him that point blank.


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## Jules (Dec 26, 2020)

Colleen, if you have separate bedrooms & bathrooms, it would be wise to function like that.  Pretend that he has it, keep yourselves as separate as possible within your house.  That’s what we’ve always done when one us caught a bug.  Generally it has helped.


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## win231 (Dec 26, 2020)

Jules said:


> Colleen, if you have separate bedrooms & bathrooms, it would be wise to function like that.  Pretend that he has it, keep yourselves as separate as possible within your house.  That’s what we’ve always done when one us caught a bug.  Generally it has helped.


You could do what China Airlines did - make everyone wear diapers so they don't have to use any bathrooms:
https://www.usatoday.com/story/trav...crews-advised-diapers-avoid-covid/3893058001/


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## MickaC (Dec 26, 2020)

@Colleen  I'm totally with you on this..........do whatever you can to keep yourself safe.
Sad.......that some people just don't get it.


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## Mike (Dec 27, 2020)

Disregarding the advice on how to stay safe in this
life could mean arriving 25 years early in the next
life.

Mike.


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## garyt1957 (Dec 27, 2020)

Colleen said:


> My husband's son, who's 51, tested positive almost 2 weeks ago. This came from his workplace. There's over 70 people out that tested positive. My step-son has been home and said it's "not anything more than the flu". So, his work called him back last Tuesday because so many are out and they have deadlines to meet, afterall, so he went back to work for 3 days until Christmas break. He did NOT go for another test before he went back to work. He said he felt OK...just tired....so off he went. We did not get together with him nor my husband's daughter and her husband (45 & 52) for Christmas. I have high blood pressure and have stayed away, for the most part...except for Thanksgiving. My husband wanted to go to their house for Thanksgiving because it would have been the first and last time his daughter ever fixed Thanksgiving dinner all on her own. I say last because they are planning on going into the trucking business starting in March and won't be around much (which is fine with me). BTW...I ended up getting flu-like symptoms on Thanksgiving evening (chills, fever, headache) and I think I caught something from his daughter or her husband because I hadn't been out of the house in a week or so before that. We've had our flu shots, so I think I would have been sicker if I hadn't had my annual shot.
> 
> I say my husband is foolish because last Sunday, he took dinner over to his son and stayed for a while to talk to him. He said he wore a mask the whole time he was there. I did not go. Then, today, he went over to his son's to get the oil changed in our truck. Before he left, I told him I thought he was being foolish and risking his health and mine. He went any way. He's 80 and in good health, but I just think he needs to be practicing what he's always preaching about staying away from people. That doesn't apply to his kids, I guess. As a matter of fact, his daughter and her husband went out for breakfast yesterday. They don't believe in this mask business but she has to wear one at work because it's mandated. They've even been up to their friend's house in CA (we live in AZ) and came back without her being tested because she didn't tell them she had been there. This was the second time they've been to CA but the first time, her work knew she was there so they made her get a test. She said it was "stupid".
> 
> Maybe I'm just over-reacting. I can't make him to not go


Sorry, but your husband is an idiot and your son is just as bad for letting him in. I wouldn't let my father anywhere near me if I had covid. Nor would I go anywhere near my son if he had it.  Hope it works out for you.


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## Remy (Dec 27, 2020)

I'm sorry. I don't think you are overreacting and I too think your husband is being foolish. Too many people are being and there will be more to come with the holidays.

I've been heavily exposed to covid in my work place. So far negative but I'm not smug about it. Every test could be the positive one.


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