# How to handle difficult family member



## Victor (Mar 28, 2016)

How do you talk to a family member who is disorganized, totally, very forgetful and always procrastinates everything? I mean until the last possible minute or beyond? She has been like this all her life. It is not Alzheimer's. Even if she gets
a deadline, the deadline becomes flexible or it is literally at the last minute. She used to notoriously come very late to
everything, every family get together. Threats and anger do not work well. Naturally, she has no job. 
  We are very busy with important family business now and I am in charge. Any suggestions?


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## Shalimar (Mar 28, 2016)

Unless her presence/input are essential, I would save myself the aggravation and go about important family business with or without her. She is not going to change her spots at this juncture, why stress yourself out unnecessarily?


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## Lon (Mar 28, 2016)

Victor said:


> How do you talk to a family member who is disorganized, totally, very forgetful and always procrastinates everything? I mean until the last possible minute or beyond? She has been like this all her life. It is not Alzheimer's. Even if she gets
> a deadline, the deadline becomes flexible or it is literally at the last minute. She used to notoriously come very late to
> everything, every family get together. Threats and anger do not work well. Naturally, she has no job.
> We are very busy with important family business now and I am in charge. Any suggestions?



How old is this family member? You aren't going to change this person if they have been like this all their life so give up that thought and learn to live with it.


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## Wrigley's (Mar 28, 2016)

Shalimar said:


> Unless her presence/input are essential, I would save myself the aggravation and go about important family business with or without her. She is not going to change her spots at this juncture, why stress yourself out unnecessarily?



This exactly. Invite her, and then don't give it another thought.


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## Victor (Mar 28, 2016)

She is a senior and I need her cooperation at times, like getting a car out of a spot.


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## Wrigley's (Mar 28, 2016)

Victor said:


> She is a senior and I need her cooperation at times, like getting a car out of a spot.



Sorry, you need her to move cars? 
Anyway, when you need her there at noon, tell her to be there at 10am or whatever works.


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## AprilSun (Mar 28, 2016)

Wrigley's said:


> Sorry, you need her to move cars?
> Anyway, when you need her there at noon, tell her to be there at 10am or whatever works.



That is what I was thinking. Anything you need her for, take how late she usually is and set her time up that much earlier. There is some people that I know that is always late no matter what. So, any time they are involved, we set the time up earlier for these people than the others. It works!


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## Butterfly (Mar 28, 2016)

Victor said:


> She is a senior and I need her cooperation at times, like getting a car out of a spot.



Isn't there a way to get around the car moving problem, one way or another?  Or just leave the car where it is?  No offense, but a car in the wrong place doesn't sound earth shattering.  

If she doesn't cooperate, just proceed without her.  When she gets the idea that things will go on without her, she will either manage to be on time, or not.  Either way, her punctuality or lack of it shouldn't be allowed to bring group business to a standstill.  Just go on without her.


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## boozercruiser (Mar 28, 2016)

Around the throat?


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## vickyNightowl (Mar 28, 2016)

Wrigley's said:


> Sorry, you need her to move cars?
> Anyway, when you need her there at noon, tell her to be there at 10am or whatever works.



LolBooze.

Best solution.

It must be fustrating having to wait n someone else so you. Can accomplish what you want.


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