# Was your mom or dad the more easy-going parent?



## debodun (Jul 8, 2020)

Or were they both pretty easy-going or both pretty strict?


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## katlupe (Jul 8, 2020)

Neither one was very strict. My father though was very easy going even though my mother would threaten us with the famous line, "wait till your father gets home!" I'd laugh to myself because he was never mad at me or even yelled at me. My brother, well he usually had no choice with him.


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## AmberTea (Jul 8, 2020)

My mom was the more easy going parent, gentle, loving, caring.


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## debodun (Jul 8, 2020)

My dad was a fun-loving guy. He was happy to watch a ballgame on TV or play games. My mom was a real whip-cracker, though. If things weren't progressing to her satisfaction, she could really get severe. She thought fun-and-games were a waste of time. I'm happy I took after dad in that respect. I always wondered what they ever saw in each other being so opposite in personalities.


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## hollydolly (Jul 8, 2020)

Both were strict , but my father was a monster ..my mother was easier going


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## PamfromTx (Jul 8, 2020)

My father was extremely strict; mom, on the other hand was more lenient with us.


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## Capt Lightning (Jul 8, 2020)

Both were strict, inflexible and unable to see any other point of view but their own.   Hitting me was the only way they knew how to respond. That stopped when I threatened to hit back.  Later I used to play 'mind games' with them just to wind them up.


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## PopsnTuff (Jul 8, 2020)

Mom was a straight-up beeatch, verbally abusive with a black heart.....Dad walked on water to me....was my saving grace....
Their characters and personalities all switched when I was an adult and they became the other one, unbelievable!


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## Pinky (Jul 8, 2020)

They were hardly around, having to work. Dad worked, 6/7 days a week. Mom was easy-going with us. Occasionally, Dad's bad temper would flare up. Mom said it was due to "shell shock" from the war .. I don't know about that.


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## Pepper (Jul 8, 2020)

They were both very easy going.


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## Pink Biz (Jul 8, 2020)

*Neither one was a strict disciplinarian. Personality-wise, mom was very easygoing and cheerful, dad was moody and temperamental but funloving.*


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## JaniceM (Jul 8, 2020)

PopsnTuff said:


> Mom was a straight-up beeatch, verbally abusive with a black heart.....Dad walked on water to me....was my saving grace....
> Their characters and personalities all switched when I was an adult and they became the other one, unbelievable!


The first part sounds familiar.  When I became an adult, though, my father somehow took on her 'character and personality,' so then I had both of them to try to deal with.  It was quite a shock.


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## Aunt Marg (Jul 8, 2020)

Looking back on it now and knowing the upbringing some of my old friends had, my parents were firm but easy going, however, mom was a stay-at-home mom and chief disciplinarian, and when provoked, she didn't hesitate in administering a spanking.

Siblings and I were expected to do very little in and around the home, though being the oldest I did a lot. We were expected to hang up our school clothes, bring dirty clothes and any washing we had downstairs and put it into the laundry basket or washing machine, and take out the garbage when asked (without complaining).


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## Aneeda72 (Jul 8, 2020)

Mother was horrific all the time, dad had his decent days and his horrific days.


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## Ceege (Jul 8, 2020)

Dad was strict but fair.  Mom was terribly abused as a child and compensated by being extremely kind and gentle with my brother and I.  They made a deal with us.  If we did something wrong and we told them, we didn't get punished.  Instead we got a lecture that was revisited almost every night at dinner for several weeks.  But, they always gave us credit for our honesty.


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## jujube (Jul 8, 2020)

Both my parents were relatively even-tempered (compared to most of my friends' parents) but if someone had to be the "hard-ass", it was usually my mother.


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## peppermint (Jul 8, 2020)

Mom and Dad both were easy with me.....My younger brother was a Rascal....But age made him a great guy....I love him dearly...
My older brother was a great man.... But he had problems..I was the middle child....


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## debodun (Jul 9, 2020)

My mom was like Momma Rose in "Gypsy", dad was like Ward Cleaver in "Leave it to Beaver".


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## Gary O' (Jul 9, 2020)

Mom was a bit tense, worked up, blow up with little notice
I felt a rather sorry for her, so stayed away as much as I could, as I might have been the cause

Dad was pretty happy go lucky
Whenever I got into trouble with mom, she'd do the *'wait until your dad gets home'*
Dad would get home
Had to pretend to be mean and mad

Later in life, he told me he wished she'd just whipped him
He also told me he wished he hadn't divorced her
*'I shoulda been tougher with her....I think I coulda taken her in a fair fight*'

I left home early for many reasons, mostly mine
I loved both equally
It's just that Mom pretty much shirked off any demonstration of affection
Tough ol' bird
But, I loved her so

No complaints
Hey, they had to raise me


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## Gary O' (Jul 9, 2020)

peppermint said:


> .I was the middle child....


Reminds me of a poster I created in another life;


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## Aunt Marg (Jul 9, 2020)

What a sad poster that is. 

Wish I could pick that middle child up in the poster and give him a big warm hug. 

Happy to say such never happened in our home, as I always made everyone feel wanted, needed, and part of whatever it was that I felt they should be a part of.


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## Sassycakes (Jul 9, 2020)

My Dad was a gentle Precious man,who never even raised his voice to us. My Mom on the other hand always carried a wooden spoon. Lucky for me my older sister would stand in front of me to protect me from the spoon even though I did something wrong. My sister knew my Mom would never hit her because she was my Mom's favorite.


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## Pinky (Jul 9, 2020)

Gary O' said:


> Reminds me of a poster I created in another life;
> 
> View attachment 112929


I felt like that when my baby brother came along. I was the youngest of 3 sisters. He was 7 yrs. younger than me. Up till then, I was "Daddy's Girl".


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## Aunt Marg (Jul 9, 2020)

Sassycakes said:


> My Dad was a gentle Precious man,who never even raised his voice to us. My Mom on the other hand always carried a wooden spoon. Lucky for me my older sister would stand in front of me to protect me from the spoon even though I did something wrong. My sister knew my Mom would never hit her because she was my Mom's favorite.


Nothing chaps my bottom-end worse that child/family favouritism!


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## Aunt Marg (Jul 9, 2020)

Pinky said:


> I felt like that when my baby brother came along. I was the youngest of 3 sisters. He was 7 yrs. younger than me. Up till then, I was "Daddy's Girl".


When a new baby came along in our house, I had all of the older kids running for this and that from morning until night! LOL!

I left no one out, and at the end of each day would thank everyone for all of their much needed help, reiterating to them that mommy wouldn't possibly be able to do it all without them.

Everyone got a chance at holding the baby and doing bottle-feeding.


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## Lewkat (Jul 9, 2020)

My dad was easygoing, but my mom, well that was another story altogether.


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## MarciKS (Jul 9, 2020)

My mom was the easier going of the two but they were both pretty strung out nerve wise.


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## win231 (Jul 9, 2020)

My mom was a raging psycho.  My dad spent half his 88 years trying to please her.
I was thinking:  "How could a man be so desperate & have such low self esteem as to marry someone like that & have 3 kids with her?"
None of her kids attended her funeral.


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## debodun (Jul 9, 2020)

Wow. After reading some of the responses here, it makes my childhood seem idyllic.


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## win231 (Jul 9, 2020)

debodun said:


> Wow. After reasing some of the responses here, it makes my childhood seem idyllic.


Yup.  No matter how bad someone had it, there is always someone who had it worse.


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## Sassycakes (Jul 9, 2020)

Aunt Marg said:


> Nothing chaps my bottom-end worse that child/family favouritism!



*I forgave my Mom many years ago. She had lost my twin in her 3rd month of pregnancy, and never thought  I would survive. She even named me after the nurse that helped deliver me. *


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## Aunt Marg (Jul 9, 2020)

Sassycakes said:


> *I forgave my Mom many years ago. She had lost my twin in her 3rd month of pregnancy, and never thought  I would survive. She even named me after the nurse that helped deliver me. *


You're a very special person, I wouldn't have been able to, _ever_, nor would I forget.


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## Sassycakes (Jul 9, 2020)

Aunt Marg said:


> You're a very special person, I wouldn't have been able to, _ever_, nor would I forget.
> .
> 
> *I think it was easy for me to forgive because of the support my Dad gave me. I would never have wanted to hurt him. Of course forgetting isn't easy.*


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## Fyrefox (Jul 10, 2020)

My father was easy-going and valued peace to such an extent that he enabled my mother's emotional abuse of my sister and I.  Controlling and domineering, my mother was quite narcissistic, and always had to be catered to and given exactly what she wanted.  When displeased, she would withdraw all positive emotional contact, and refuse to interact with or even speak to us, often for days on end...


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## PamfromTx (Jul 10, 2020)

Pinky said:


> I felt like that when my baby brother came along. I was the youngest of 3 sisters. He was 7 yrs. younger than me. Up till then, I was "Daddy's Girl".


@Pinky    Sounds like my siblings and I.  I also am the youngest of 3 sisters and my brother was 4 years younger than I.  And boy, was my brother spoiled to the core!


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## Lewkat (Jul 10, 2020)

I was the eldest of 4 and an only child for 7 yrs.  Along came my brother and my life changed forever.  When I was 14 my sister was born and at 16 my youngest brother.  Having kids so far apart kind of cramped my mother's style I guess and she and I did not get along at all.  She was very tough on us but I was the rebellious one.  It wasn't until many, many years later that we more or less resolved our problems.  My dad was a typical professional person and wasn't over involved in our daily lives except at the  dinner table.


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## Aunt Marg (Jul 10, 2020)

pamelasmithwick said:


> @Pinky    Sounds like my siblings and I.  I also am the youngest of 3 sisters and my brother was 4 years younger than I.  *And boy, was my brother spoiled to the core*!


Typical baby of the family. The same held true for my baby brother (baby of the family).

Had I had the authority, I would have turned him over my knee more often than my mom did, having spent a considerable amount of time babysitting him. He was an absolute brat more often than not.


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## hellomimi (Jul 10, 2020)

My mom was the strict one, my dad "acted" like he was strict but I got away with my misadventures with him as my defender. My siblings complained I "got away with murder" while they toed the line.  I made up for it by being generous to them, they knew I'd give my share of KFC (that's our comfort food then) to them. I've carried the trait to this day, they don't even have to ask especially now that I'm in full control of my finances.


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## Pinky (Jul 10, 2020)

pamelasmithwick said:


> @Pinky    Sounds like my siblings and I.  I also am the youngest of 3 sisters and my brother was 4 years younger than I.  And boy, was my brother spoiled to the core!


My brother, 7 yrs. younger than me, was a really good little kid. He got the toys, but wasn't a brat. He and I are very close, though he lives 3,000 miles away.


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## debodun (Jul 10, 2020)

Fyrefox said:


> My father was easy-going and valued peace to such an extent that he enabled my mother's emotional abuse of my sister and I.  Controlling and domineering, my mother was quite narcissistic, and always had to be catered to and given exactly what she wanted.  When displeased, she would withdraw all positive emotional contact, and refuse to interact with or even speak to us, often for days on end...



Sounds a lot like my household.


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## Aunt Marg (Jul 10, 2020)

Pinky said:


> My brother, 7 yrs. younger than me, was a really good little kid. He got the toys, but wasn't a brat. He and I are very close, though he lives 3,000 miles away.


I hope you and your two older sisters spoiled him rotten!


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## Mr. Ed (Jul 10, 2020)

My dad was a preacher whose public image took precedent over family value. When angry he barked and snarled like cowardly dog. My mother was easy going, she didn't like confrontation.


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## Ruthanne (Jul 10, 2020)

My mother and father had us going to Catholic School and wanted the fear of God put in all of us but mostly my father wanted that the most.  My father had a really bad temper and you never knew what would Set It Off but he was scary.  



Both of my parents would use the belt on us so l I really can't decide which one of them was more laid-back.

After we were grown up and then a few years after that they seemed to mellow somewhat.


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## Pinky (Jul 10, 2020)

Aunt Marg said:


> I hope you and your two older sisters spoiled him rotten!


We treated him like the little angel he was. I remember one Halloween, we put rouge on him and tied a scarf around his head. Everyone thought he was a girl. From a very early age, he remembered words to songs, and sang them from beginning to end. "Catch A Falling Star" by Perry Como was one of those songs. He has been a singer in a local band in his city for years (not now, but he still jams with friends). He has a very good voice.


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## peppermint (Jul 10, 2020)

debodun said:


> My mom was like Momma Rose in "Gypsy", dad was like Ward Cleaver in "Leave it to Beaver".


My middle name is Rose....After my Mom....♥


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## C'est Moi (Jul 10, 2020)

My parents were both easy-going.  Very fun and loving.


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## 911 (Jul 10, 2020)

My dad was very well educated and had a great job. My mom was a stay at home mom, so my home reminded me of “Leave It to Beaver.” My dad was always very philosophical. My mom was very caring and just a very sweet woman.

I remember my very first car date. My dad prepared me a checklist to use to go by before I left the house. Good thing he did. I left my wallet on my dresser.


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## Trippy Hippie (Jul 11, 2020)

My dad was more the easygoing parent.


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## JaniceM (Jul 11, 2020)

peppermint said:


> My middle name is Rose....After my Mom....♥


"Peppermint Rose."  Now that is really cool!


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## win231 (Jul 11, 2020)

Ruthanne said:


> My mother and father had us going to Catholic School and wanted the fear of God put in all of us but mostly my father wanted that the most.  My father had a really bad temper and you never knew what would Set It Off but he was scary.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


The "Fear of God" is often an excuse for abuse.


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## Mr. Ed (Jul 12, 2020)

win231 said:


> The "Fear of God" is often an excuse for abuse.


So sorry your home life was that way. Did the violence end in your own family?


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## toffee (Jul 12, 2020)

my mother was a kind person - but the other one was bloody awful to live with '
he dominated us all' strict dont even cut it !!!!!!!!!!1


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## debodun (Jul 12, 2020)

911 said:


> I remember my very first car date. My dad prepared me a checklist to use to go by before I left the house.



Were rubbers on the list?


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## AnnieA (Jul 12, 2020)

My mom still is the more easy-going of the two, but she was the more active disciplinarian when we were growing up.  My dad has always been pretty regimented and emotionally avoidant so he preferred her to handle discipline.


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## debodun (Jul 12, 2020)

When I was a kid and living at the "old" house, there was a next door neighbor that lambasted his foster kids as soon as they got home from school. It got to my mom, so one day when she saw him outside she asked him why he did it. He said it was in case they did something he didn't know about. I asked mom why a guy that hated kids so much took in foster children. My mom said it was just for the money. That was like 60 years ago. I wonder how those kids turned out.


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## Aunt Marg (Jul 12, 2020)

debodun said:


> When I was a kid and living at the "old" house, there was a next door neighbor that lambasted his foster kids as soon as they got home from school. It got to my mom, so one day when she saw him outside she asked him why he did it. He said it was in case they did something he didn't know about. I asked mom why a guy that hated kids so much took in foster children. My mom said it was just for the money. That was like 60 years ago. *I wonder how those kids turned out*.


I wonder, too...


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## win231 (Jul 12, 2020)

Mr. Ed said:


> So sorry your home life was that way. Did the violence end in your own family?


It ended when I was around 12, when I was big enough to hit my mother back - and really hurt her.


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