# Woman causes controversy by telling  husband  that MIL  is not allowed in delivery room



## Marie5656 (Apr 27, 2022)

*A 6 month pregnant woman is at odds with her husband.  Husband wants HIS mom in the delivery room as well as hers, and new mom said no.  New mom says no. Also turns out that her mother in law did not even know about this whole thing.
I am not a parent, but I am with the new mommy...she should decide who she wants with her.  What is your opinion?  

Husband Wants His Mom in the Delivery Room, Wife Says No — Who’s Right? (yahoo.com)*


----------



## SeaBreeze (Apr 27, 2022)

I am in agreement with you Marie.  Something weird about a husband who wants his mommy in the delivery room when his wife has his baby.  I definitely wouldn't want her there and would be at odds also if my husband wanted that.  Also, if the MIL was one of those people who have been hard to get along with, I sure as hell wouldn't want her there.


----------



## Jeni (Apr 27, 2022)

A new mom is on display enough .........she should have the say on who else might be in the room ..... .  
my daughter wanted me to stay there  but i was ready to leave room when time came ....... 
her in laws were somehow mad they were not invited in to delivery..... 
When did this become a spectator  sport......


----------



## Alligatorob (Apr 27, 2022)

Marie5656 said:


> ...she should decide who she wants with her


Of course she should.


----------



## Jules (Apr 27, 2022)

The new mom is the star of this show (until baby arrives) so it’s her opinion that counts.


----------



## jujube (Apr 27, 2022)

I didn't have the luxury of my husband being in the room (he was several hundred miles away) and my mom was 5000 miles away)  so I had a male OB and a male corpsman.  Not exactly warm and fuzzy, but it was OK.

My daughter wanted her husband and me there, but especially her dad.  The guys busied themselves at the top of the bed and looked like they were going to faint and I concentrated on the "business" end.  In fact, I got to "catch" my granddaughter; out she popped right into my hands.


----------



## hollydolly (Apr 28, 2022)

I had no-one in the room with me, my husband was at sea ( Royal Navy)... somewhere near Florida USA.. when I went into labour, for 57 hours, and had an episiotomy in the end.. ... TBH..the last thing I'd want in the labour room would have been my in-laws..


----------



## JustDave (Apr 28, 2022)

I enjoyed this thread.  I'm just happy not to be involved in such a situation.


----------



## Bellbird (Apr 29, 2022)

I had no one with me apart from the medic, it was not allowed in those days, but I sure wouldn't want my MIL in there.


----------



## Jace (Apr 29, 2022)

Yes, in the past, just "pregger & doc"..No Way would I want "circus" abound.


----------



## terry123 (Apr 29, 2022)

Jules said:


> The new mom is the star of this show (until baby arrives) so it’s her opinion that counts.


Correct.  I wanted my mom there but she lived too far to come for the birth.  under no circumstances would I have let my MIL in.


----------



## Warrigal (Apr 29, 2022)

Bellbird said:


> I had no one with me apart from the medic, it was not allowed in those days, but I sure wouldn't want my MIL in there.


Yep. Hubby dismissed after her brought me to the hospital and no family allowed after that until visiting hours after the baby was born. I was mostly left alone in the delivery room until the birth was imminent and I did not recognise a single face. I will be eternally grateful for Nurse Chan who held my head up when I was exhausted.

I was present when our daughter had her 3rd and 4th at home. My role was to keep #1 and #2 occupied and feed people as required. I was called into the bedroom for the moment of birth but earlier it was just daughter, the midwife and the father.

If I had to do it all over again, I would just like Hubby to be there. I would like maximum privacy at such a time.


----------



## win231 (Apr 29, 2022)

There is no controversy.  It's the wife's right.  She probably has a good reason for not wanting her MIL in the room.  Maybe it's bad enough she has to put up with her the rest of the time.
When I was married, my MIL was a real piece of s..... work & I told her so.


----------



## Tish (Apr 29, 2022)

I agree with you Marie.


----------



## Don M. (Apr 29, 2022)

I would think that the Only people allowed in the delivery room, during a birth, should be the doctors and nurses.  Anyone else would only be a distraction, especially if there were any problems.  Afterwards, any/all family members should be allowed to visit and see the mom and baby.  Banning anyone just insures that any family battles will only continue to grow, and almost insure that a divorce will occur.


----------



## Wren (Apr 29, 2022)

Is nothing sacred anymore ? Why not open the delivery room to the public and charge an entry fee ??


----------



## fuzzybuddy (May 5, 2022)

What is this idea of who gets to be in the delivery room, like it's the ultimate "backstage pass". I did not know this was a spectator sport. Maybe we should install bleachers to get everybody in, you really wouldn't want to slight the pizza guy. In this case HER mom can get a backstage pass, but HIS mom is not allowed?????  Who thinks this couple will be in divorce court within 2 years, and it'll a mega fight over the kid?


----------



## Remy (May 5, 2022)

The mother to be is absolutely in the right. It's her decision. The MIL needs to quietly accept the decision.

One of the worst things I read on the borderline support forum (for those raised by a borderline only) was a man who said his mother berated him after the birth of his child: "You ruined the birth of my grandchild" No consideration for the newborn, the new mom or her son. Apparently she hadn't been notified to come to the hospital. He said he was going no contact to protect his family. Smart move.

There is a reason she's not wanted there, even if it's simply limiting the people in the room.


----------



## Shalimar (May 5, 2022)

Don M. said:


> I would think that the Only people allowed in the delivery room, during a birth, should be the doctors and nurses.  Anyone else would only be a distraction, especially if there were any problems.  Afterwards, any/all family members should be allowed to visit and see the mom and baby.  Banning anyone just insures that any family battles will only continue to grow, and almost insure that a divorce will occur.


For many women, and the father of their children, it is essential they both share the birthing  process. I would have been devastated if my son’s father had been barred from the delivery room. He would have been livid.


----------



## Brookswood (May 12, 2022)

MIL has an opportunity to score some points with DIL by telling sonny boy, that she will honor DIL's wishes and wait outside.    Then MIL should tell sonny boy to grow up.


----------



## Brookswood (May 12, 2022)

MIL should tell sonny boy that he needs to grow up.  That would score points with DIL.


----------



## Bella (May 13, 2022)

It sounds to me like Sonny Boy's umbilical cord is still attached to his mommy. This is not a spectator sport. Isn't there enough going on in the delivery room? Sheesh. Whether the wife and MIL like each other is one thing. I'm not going to malign the MIL, because according to the article, she didn't even know about the whole thing. The husband is unbelievably selfish, putting his wants before his wife's, especially at a time like this. She has enough stress.

What's more, the husband left the house because she wouldn't comply with his demand, and she hasn't heard from him since. Talk about immaturity. He needs more than a swift kick. He'd better come back crawling on his belly with a big fat apology if he ever wants to get back inside, and I don't just mean inside the house!

Bella


----------

