# What are the things your parents did that you only appreciated later in life?



## asp3 (May 1, 2020)

One of the things I used to really dislike as a kid was taking the relatives wine tasting when they came out to visit us in California.  We'd head over to the Napa Valley in the mid and late 60's to tour the wineries and then the adults would taste wine.  We'd be stuck outside the tasting rooms (they were 21 and over only back then) waiting for them to finish.  Occasionally we'd get bread sticks used for clearing palettes while waiting but that wasn't often.  It was somewhat cool to see the huge redwood barrels where the wine was aging and some of the places had cool caves, but overall I was not impressed.

However now that I'm a wine lover I'm so happy that I experienced what the Napa Valley was like before it really took off as a world renowned wine region.  I think it also prepared me to be able to appreciate the wine tasting that I love to do as an adult.


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## RadishRose (May 1, 2020)

Have a lot of friends, listen to different kinds of music, to dance and play cards.


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## jujube (May 1, 2020)

They spent very little money on themselves.  Most of the "discretionary income" went to providing us with braces and contact lenses and music/dance/acting lessons and prom dresses and other frou-frous that we could not _live_ without.

They always put us first.  I'm sure I didn't appreciate that back in those days, but I sure do now.


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## fmdog44 (May 1, 2020)

Made me.


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## Victor (May 1, 2020)

Spend money cautiously.
Never refer to a woman's job as "titular"


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## Aunt Bea (May 1, 2020)

They worked at mind-numbing jobs in order to help make a better life for me.

They kept a safe distance and allowed me to experience many little successes and failures that helped to prepare me for life in the outside world.


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## Pinky (May 1, 2020)

My parents worked hard at low-paying jobs all their lives. The first thing I did when I left home and had to pay my way in the world, was write them a thank-you letter for providing for me and my siblings up until we left home.


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## Aunt Marg (May 1, 2020)

We kids never missed a turkey dinner at Christmas time or presents under the tree.

As a young child you take all for granted, everything is matter-a-fact like, it just happens, but knowing how bad my parents struggled financially, it breaks my heart to this day to think about it, how they never once faltered in always ensuring our needs were taken care of.

Being the eldest, I knew how bad times were, I seen it firsthand, mom and dad had no savings, no safety net, nothing, yet we always went to school with a bagged lunch. I honestly don't know how my parents did it. Everything went to us kids.

Mom and dad were as unselfish as unselfish could be.


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## Lashann (May 1, 2020)

We lived simply for the most part but Christmas was always a special time at our house.  I still have fond memories of those wonderful turkey dinners with all the trimmings, the lovely Christmas tree decorated with those mesmerizing bubble lights and always a nice gift or two for each one of us.   I didn't fully appreciate all the work and sacrifice involved until it was my turn to the same for my own kids.


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## Pink Biz (May 1, 2020)

*Stay married! They were not very compatible...polar opposites in every way...but remained devoted to one another for 46 years before my dad died. *


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## C'est Moi (May 1, 2020)

All the sacrifices they made for their children.  They were the absolute best and I only came to appreciate them after having a family of my own.


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## asp3 (May 1, 2020)

Pink Biz said:


> *Stay married! They were not very compatible...polar opposites in every way...but remained devoted to one another for 46 years before my dad died. *



Interesting, mine sound similar, not very compatible, but I think that they would have been better off splitting up at some point in time.  They're still together torturing each other with passive aggressive behavior.  It's painful to visit them at times.


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## Llynn (May 1, 2020)

My Mother worked at low pay jobs to raise me all by her self. She should have dropped me off at the foundling home......but didn't. I wish she had lived longer so I could have paid her back.  As far as my old man is concerned, dying was the best and only thing he did for me but he didn't do it soon enough.


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## In The Sticks (May 2, 2020)

Llynn said:


> My Mother worked at low pay jobs to raise me all by her self. She should have dropped me off at the foundling home......but didn't. I wish she had lived longer so I could have paid her back.  As far as my old man is concerned, dying was the best and only thing he did for me but he didn't do it soon enough.


Yeh, my memories are not the fondest, either.  Not of either of them.  The other kids they made didn't turn out much better for the most part.


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## Capt Lightning (May 2, 2020)

The best thing my parents did was to make me want to be nothing like them.  They were just ordinary, dull, unambitious, take life as it comes sort of people.   At least they got the basics right in that we were always well fed and clothed.

However, from that small working class street, I, my siblings and most of my neighbours children worked our way up, were well educated  and got to enjoy a lifestyle our parents never achieved.  

I think that my mother wanted more from life and sought to enjoy a sort of vicarious success through her children.  I wish she had shown some acknowledgement of that, but then again I don't think she understood what I did. (I was software developer)


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## treeguy64 (May 2, 2020)

My Dad wouldn't let me just push buttons at the great, Chicago, museum exhibits. I was admonished, "Read about what those buttons have to do with, before you push them!" 

He was absolutely correct, and, in my five year old self, he instilled a certain something that resulted in my achieving academic excellence along with financial success in my life. Thanks, Dad!

My Mom taught, by example, that love and understanding are necessary when raising a family. Thanks, Mom!


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## win231 (May 2, 2020)

My parents taught me what type of person NOT to be, by their example.


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## Sassycakes (May 2, 2020)

*Thinking about it now I can not count the amazing things they did for me my brother and sister. They were always there for us and provided us with everything we needed. Even after we got married they still put our needs above theirs. My Dad could never buy anything for himself unless we all had whatever it was he was buying. I remember so clearly when he bought himself and my Mom a Microwave. The very next day he bought me one and then my brother and sister one. He hated having something if we didn't. Even though my brother had a very good job and got a high pay my Dad never left him out.He took us all to the shore every summer for 2 weeks and paid for everything. Fortunately in later years we were all able to help them. I was truly blessed with the parents I had and miss them everyday.*


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## Aneeda72 (May 2, 2020)

treeguy64 said:


> My Dad wouldn't let me just push buttons at the great, Chicago, museum exhibits. I was admonished, "Read about what those buttons have to do with, before you push them!"
> 
> He was absolutely correct, and, in my five year old self, he instilled a certain something that resulted in my achieving academic excellence along with financial success in my life. Thanks, Dad!
> 
> ...


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## Aneeda72 (May 2, 2020)

Capt Lightning said:


> The best thing my parents did was to make me want to be nothing like them.  They were just ordinary, dull, unambitious, take life as it comes sort of people.   At least they got the basics right in that we were always well fed and clothed.
> 
> However, from that small working class street, I, my siblings and most of my neighbours children worked our way up, were well educated  and got to enjoy a lifestyle our parents never achieved.
> 
> I think that my mother wanted more from life and sought to enjoy a sort of vicarious success through her children.  I wish she had shown some acknowledgement of that, but then again I don't think she understood what I did. (I was software developer)


Hmm, I am just a ordinary, dull, unambitious take life as it comes sort of person who managed to half raise several foster children, raise two birth children, and two adopted disabled children.  I suppose I got the basics right in my ordinary, dull, unambitious, take life as it comes way.

What a relief to know that other parents, like me, were able to muddle through the process.


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## Aneeda72 (May 2, 2020)

My parents took us on road trips.  I saw things that don’t exists anymore or exists in a different way, protected, not interactive.  I hate those trips, I got so car sick.  Now I realize how lucky I was and took my children on multiple car road trips.

They did this with their children as well.  Totally beats flying.


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## fuzzybuddy (May 2, 2020)

Both of my parents always stressed that there really was no difference in the races, outside of the visible ones. It wasn't lip service, they truly believed it. Considering their times, that was a remarkable achievement.  I'm very proud of them.


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## Keesha (May 3, 2020)

Both my parents worked hard and were good providers. We were never out of food, always had clean clothes to wear, they took us camping every year and celebrated every traditional holiday. 

I appreciate that my parents believed in the importance of eating good food and exercise. 
I appreciate that I got musically influenced by my fathers love of music. 
I appreciate that they purchased each one of us our own musical instrument. 
I appreciate my moms sense of humour even though it was usually sarcastic & cynical 
I appreciate that they paid for me to go on a weeks camping trip with our ‘public’ school and a three week trip out west to Vancouver BC. 
I appreciate the fact that I had a roof over my head and my own room. 
I appreciate that before they went completely senile that I could recognize that they loved me not by their actions, but by the look in their eyes. 
( they just didn’t know how to express it. )
I appreciate that they stayed together for over 65 years even though they fought almost everyday 
( cause they love each other in their own unique way )


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## JaniceM (May 5, 2020)

There were 2 things I appreciated, but came to appreciate much more in more recent years when encountering people who were brought up much differently.  

First-  the "People are People!" approach.  Similar to what Fuzzybuddy said above.  

Second, the approach that kids are to be "seen AND heard"-  to speak up if I had something to say.


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## Linda (May 9, 2020)

They had tons of problems but I always knew they loved me dearly.


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## squatting dog (May 11, 2020)

My dad was a contractor, so I was basically slave labor. However, he did teach me framing, painting, roofing, finish trimming, and flooring. And then, my uncle taught me plumbing, the old German who worked for them taught me all about household electrical work, and the Portuguese fellow taught me cement work. All stuff I hated as a youth. These hidden skills did come in mighty handy later on in life as I was able to repair, re-build, or re-wire any home I owned later on without having to pay any others. Then, the ultimate climax was building my own home with just the wife and I. No outside help needed.   
For that, I'm forever thankful that although dad and I didn't see eye to eye, he did leave a part of himself in me.


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