# laugh i nearly cried



## jeffery 53 (Jul 8, 2013)

*THE  POLISH  DIVORCE* 
A Polish
	

	
	
		
		

		
			





 man moved to theUSA and married an American girl.
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	



Although his English was not too good, they got along very well. 
One day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him to get him a divorce.
The lawyer said that he would first have to ask him a few questions.....

*Have you any grounds?**
**Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.**
*
*No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?**
**It made of concrete.**
**
**I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?**
**No, we have carport, and not need one.**
**
**I mean what are your relations like?**
**They all still in Poland.**

**Is there any infidelity in your marriage?**
**Yes, we have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.**
**
**Does your wife beat you up?**
**No, I always up before her.**
**
**Is your wife a nagger?**
**No, she white.**
**
**Why do you want this divorce?**
**She going to kill me.**

**What makes you think that?**
**I got proof.**
**
**What kind of proof?**
**She going to poison me.**
She buy bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom.
I can read English pretty good, and it say:*


*



*


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## jeffery 53 (Jul 8, 2013)

A little old lady went to the grocery store to buy cat food. She picked up three cans and took them to the check out counter.






The girl at the cash register said, "I'm sorry, but we cannot sell you cat food without proof that you have a cat. A lot of old people buy cat food to eat, and the management wants proof that you are buying the cat food for your cat."
The little old lady went home, picked up her cat and brought it back to the store.





They sold her the cat food.
The next day, she tried to buy two cans of dog food.





Again, the cashier said, "I'm sorry, but we cannot sell you dog food without proof that you have a dog. A lot of old people buy dog food to eat, but the management wants proof that you are buying the dog food for your dog."

So she went home and brought in her dog. 





She then was able to buy the dog food.
The next day she brought in a box with a hole in the lid.





The little old lady asked the cashier to stick her finger in the hole. 
The cashier said, "No, you might have a snake in there." 

The little old lady assured her that there was nothing in the box that would harm her. 

So the cashier put her finger into the box and quickly pulled it out. 

She said to the little old lady, "That smells like sh!t." 

The little old lady said, "It is. I want to buy three rolls of toilet paper."








*Don't mess with old people*​


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## jeffery 53 (Jul 8, 2013)

*The guy who thought of this is brilliant -* *a picture paints a thousand words ?*​​​ 


​​​​​​​​*The New Government Symbol*​​​​​​*THE GOVERNMENT'S NEW SYMBOL IS THAT OF A CONDOM,* *because it more accurately reflects* *the government's political stance....* *
A condom allows for inflation,* *halts production,**destroys the next generation,* *protects a bunch of dicks,* *and gives you a sense of security* *while you're actually being screwed !* *
**
Damn, it just doesn't get* *more accurate than that !*​​​


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## Michael. (Jul 9, 2013)

jeffery 53 



*Senior Member*







(The last line 'Polish Remover' was missing on my screen?)
Join DateJun 2013LocationkentPosts351​

*laugh i nearly cried*
*THE POLISH DIVORCE*
A Polish
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 man moved to theUSA and married an American girl.
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	



Although his English was not too good, they got along very well. 
One day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him to get him a divorce.
The lawyer said that he would first have to ask him a few questions.....

*Have you any grounds?**
**Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.**
*
*No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?**
**It made of concrete.**
**
**I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?**
**No, we have carport, and not need one.**
**
**I mean what are your relations like?**
**They all still in Poland.**

**Is there any infidelity in your marriage?**
**Yes, we have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.**
**
**Does your wife beat you up?**
**No, I always up before her.**
**
**Is your wife a nagger?**
**No, she white.**
**
**Why do you want this divorce?**
**She going to kill me.**

**What makes you think that?**
**I got proof.**
**
**What kind of proof?**
**She going to poison me.**
She buy bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom.
I can read English pretty good, and it say:*


*'Polish Remover'*​


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