# How much do you love your grand children?



## Scientism (Jan 26, 2013)

How much do you love your grandchildrens? 
I love my grand children to death! One of the boy is named Ryan and the other girl is named Cherry.
They are darlings and I can't help to crack a smile when I see them.
One day Ryan came up to me and said, "Grandpa, your my best friend, I love you!"
This made me cry with nothing but joy!
Please share your experience.


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## Lynda (May 25, 2014)

I lived thousands of miles away from five of my grandchilden until they were mostly grown.  We would see each other at best once a year.  We never bonded.  I want to love them, but I don't.  I don't know them.  Their values and culture is different from mine and it is too late to bond.

I have raised two other grandchildren since they were 6 and 2 years old.  The oldest (a girl 19 years) does not like or respect me.  I'm "too controlling," and she could not accept the "house rules."  She is off on her own now, and I'm relieved to be past the drama.  The boy, the youngest, now 14, has the key to my heart, and I pray I can be here for him until he graduates from high school/college and that he will grow into a responsible, happy, productive adult.

"Blood" doesn't make "love."  Good relationships require respect.  Respect for one another fosters love.


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## BDBoop (May 25, 2014)

That's the youngest at about six months. Her nanny is a friend who knew me when my daughter was less than two years old.  

The older two are one day shy of thirteen months apart. All three have their mom's big beautiful blue eyes, so they are completely irresistible. I just got to see them yesterday! So I am having a wonderful weekend, despite having to work tonight and tomorrow night as well. No holiday weekend for me. 

/sigh


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## BDBoop (May 25, 2014)

I gotta admit - I have a soft spot in my heart for the older girl. She'll be six, and is a total ringer for her mother. Also, there's those eyes.


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## Warrigal (May 25, 2014)

When my daughter and daughter in law were each pregnant with their first child, I assured each of them that I was not going to attempt to be mother to their children but as their mother (or MIL) I would help them raise their children in any way I could. I have been their support and backstop, emotionally, practically and sometimes, when necessary, financially. 

I have made good on that promise and have been privileged to be very close to all of my six grand children while they were little. Each of them has developed a unique relationship with me and now that they are fully grown, I am assured that I am loved as much as I love them but because they are now establishing themselves in life I see them a lot less now. That is of no consequence. Love does not depend on proximity once it has taken root.


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## Lynda (May 26, 2014)

I agree . . . love does not depend on proximity.  Proximity can, however, facilitate taking root.  It is more about a strained relationship between me and my daughter, which was there long before the grand kids.  It would have had the same result whether we were geographically close or not. We have both made efforts to change our broken relationship, but it just has not worked.  I have not been the grandmother to her children that she has wanted.  And, I never will be.  Pretending won't fix it.  It is much healthier to face the reality of the situation and cease hurting each other over it.  It is a great relief to be honest and accept the consequences.


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## Warrigal (May 26, 2014)

Yes, Lynda. I believe that we must live in the world that is, not the one we wish we lived in.


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## papaandproud (May 26, 2014)

You know the other day i told my neighbor I would like to take a job out of the country but I could never leave my grand kids untill they were at least college age. ** She said you should not let your grand kids control your life so much you are not their parent yadayadayada. I said naaa I don't think that way at all if I could not see my grand kids frequently I would go crazy and I mean that if they moved from here I would literally move.


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## BDBoop (May 26, 2014)

Lynda said:


> I agree . . . love does not depend on proximity.  Proximity can, however, facilitate taking root.  It is more about a strained relationship between me and my daughter, which was there long before the grand kids.  It would have had the same result whether we were geographically close or not. We have both made efforts to change our broken relationship, but it just has not worked.  I have not been the grandmother to her children that she has wanted.  And, I never will be.  Pretending won't fix it.  It is much healthier to face the reality of the situation and cease hurting each other over it.  It is a great relief to be honest and accept the consequences.



I have a friend in your shoes. The amount of pain involved in such a scenario is excruciating, which is why she almost HAD to do what you did. Nobody can live with that level of pain in perpetuity.


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## Floydy (May 26, 2014)

I have two wonderful grandkids - well they are my stepdaughter's children (by my wife), but I am classed as their grandad.
The little girl is three and the boy is one and has just begun to walk.
I never had my own natural born children, so I dote on these two little ones. It's like part of my life I never had and I'll always be around for them


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## Lynda (May 26, 2014)

That is a wonderful thing!  You will all be blessed by your love.


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## Floydy (May 26, 2014)

Lynda said:


> That is a wonderful thing!  You will all be blessed by your love.



That's a lovely thing to say


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## papaandproud (May 27, 2014)

Way to go Scientism!  Can't they say stuff that just makes you feel so good, make s you feel like I am A OK!  I always go to mine on their birthday with something even if the party is at a later date.  One years I was tired, hot and a long day the little girls party was maybe going to be Saturday and this was say Thursday her actual B-day.  I started not to go and finally I said no,  gotta go,  I went and got an oreo cake and a few things and took it to them.  ""I am tearing up now"  That little girl said to me " I knew you were coming papa".  I don't thank God near enough but I sure did for not lettng me stay at home that evening.

"You my best friend"  that says a lot about the kind of Grandpa you are!


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## Lynda (May 27, 2014)

Those times are priceless.  You rock, grandpa!


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## Mrs. Robinson (May 27, 2014)

My 15th grandchild will be here any day and I love them all to death. I am closer to some than to others,only because they live farther away and I don`t see them on a daily basis. 

My son`s son I helped raise his first three years (he`s 13 now) and we are very,very close. He can (and does) tell me anything. My daughter`s 5 live here in town (well,the oldest is married,"lives" here,but works out of town 6-7 days a week so we hardly see him anymore. But the others we are very close to. 

In fact,Sat. night we went to our daughter`s to swim because it was really hot. Our 18 yo grandson knew we were coming and that was fine-in spite of the fact that he was having a little party because his parent`s were out of town. We know all his friends-most their entire lives and they all know and like us. 

Anyway,we were sitting out back and several kids went up on the roof to sit. That scares me but hey,it was their party. Grandson`s phone rings-it was sitting on the patio table charging-and I saw that it was my son in law calling. I said "Adrian,it`s your dad"-and turned down the music. Adrian started making swimming motions and said "tell him I`m in the pool!" (he was actually on the roof). So I answered and son in law asks "Ummm,who is this?' I said "Your mother in law" He was stumped-didn`t know what to say. Turns out he had asked the neighbor to call him if there were any parties going on and I guess seeing the kids getting on the roof from the front porch was the final straw lol. But he didn`t know what to say about the fact that we were there! 

By the way,my grandson is 18,his friends are all 18 & 19 so these are technically "adults". Grandson graduates high school on Friday. Very responsible "kid". So I fed 20 kids BBQ`d burgers,beans and pasta,the girlfriends cleaned up and we went home. haven`t heard from son in law yet but I`ll be seeing him tonight. Hope I`m not in trouble.....


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## Ina (May 27, 2014)

Mrs Robinson, Your son-in-law might see your presence as a good thing. You surely kept the party in hand, for which he can only be grateful. :wave:


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## Bettyann (May 27, 2014)

I am so thankful for my grandchildren and I have two great grandchildren... When I first held my first granddaughter it was like a special rush of love called Continuing flowed through me... I was thankful for all I had gone through, been through, to bring me to that special moment. 
Sometimes I just look at them and think 'wow! I am their grandmother...thank you!' ...:love_heart:


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## Spirit22 (May 27, 2014)

I adore my grandson. My daughter and I are very close, which I am so grateful for because my mother did not like me and made it known. My daughter never wanted children but then along came a little precious surprise. I only have one child, and I always wanted to know what it would be like to have at least one of each....a girl and a boy. My daughter's situation is such that she and my grandson live with me now, and I am so happy! He is so precious and a true gift from God. I wouldn't trade having the opportunity to watch my grandson grow up, especially given the fact that I had to work so much while my daughter was growing up. We take care of each other and are a very close and happy little family. Thank you God!


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## Lynda (May 28, 2014)

Love it!  You and your grandchildren are truly blessed.


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## Mrs. Robinson (May 28, 2014)

A little off topic, but went to a scholarship awards at the high school last night and wow-nearly every "kid" who was at that party (at least the ones who are still in high school) received one or more scholarships, including my grandson.They all have at least 3.5 GPAs although most of them have higher than that. One of them walked away with over $50,000 in cash scholarships! Very proud of this group of kids.


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## Lynda (May 28, 2014)

Kudos to all of you.


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## Lynda (May 28, 2014)

Happy that you shared!  Awesome.  Congratulations to all!


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## nan (May 29, 2014)

I love all 8 of our grandchildren very much,the teenage ones don't come and see us as often now, as they have friends that they like to hang out with,they are all good kids and it is a pleasure when they do come to see us.


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## Sassycakes (Feb 26, 2016)

Words can't even express how much I love my 3 Grand children. 
I would give my life for them. 
My 2 grandson's (my son's boys ) they live only 5 minutes from me.
My Granddaughter (my daughters little girl)
lives about 20 minutes away.So I am very lucky that I get to 
see them often. My oldest grandson is 20 and is in his 2nd 
year of college. My second grandson is 18 and graduates High school. 
And my granddaughter is 5 yrs old.
Thinking about the nice thing one of them said to me was my oldest grandson. 
When he told me what he was learning in college he said "Bio Medical Engineering." 
I said wow am I happy I don't have to help you with homework any more.
Then he said "I would never have gotten the marks I got in High School 
if it wasn't for your help." 
Well I guess you can imagine,I cried.


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## Lon (Feb 26, 2016)

My three grandchildren are now adults/married with children of their own, making me a great grand parent. I spend more time with the greats than I did with the grands because now I live closer to the greats.
As a high school graduation gift for the three grand children I paid for each one to spend two months with me in New Zealand where I was living for six months of each year for 23 years.


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## jujube (Feb 26, 2016)

My granddaughter was born into my hands....._literally_ into my hands.   I was very active in her raising and she turned out pretty darn well, if I do say so myself.  Now the great-granddaughter is coming very soon, but because of the distance involved, I won't have as much influence in her life but you can be sure I'll have as much as I can.  I hope I live to see her grow up into as wonderful a woman as her mother.


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## RadishRose (Feb 26, 2016)

More than I can say!


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## Ameriscot (Feb 26, 2016)

I adore them!


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## Debby (Feb 27, 2016)

Lynda said:


> I lived thousands of miles away from five of my grandchilden until they were mostly grown.  We would see each other at best once a year.  We never bonded.  I want to love them, but I don't.  I don't know them.  Their values and culture is different from mine and it is too late to bond.
> 
> I have raised two other grandchildren since they were 6 and 2 years old.  The oldest (a girl 19 years) does not like or respect me.  I'm "too controlling," and she could not accept the "house rules."  She is off on her own now, and I'm relieved to be past the drama.  The boy, the youngest, now 14, has the key to my heart, and I pray I can be here for him until he graduates from high school/college and that he will grow into a responsible, happy, productive adult.
> 
> "Blood" doesn't make "love."  Good relationships require respect.  Respect for one another fosters love.




Sorry to hear that your granddaughter and you don't get along Lynda.  One day, when she's finally mature, maybe the respect for you will come.  To be honest, your description sounds a lot like me and my mom.  I left home when I was 16 for pretty much the same reason as your granddaughter but there did come a point when I began to understand how hard it was for her to raise us on our own and the respect grew from there.  So don't write her off entirely yet but at the same time, don't have any expectations of her because you're setting yourself up for hurt feelings if you do.  If respect comes and love follows, then you've been blessed and if not, you at least have the satisfaction of a hard job done as well as you could and the affection of one loving grandkid.

You know that old saying, 'you pick your friends, but family is who you're stuck with'.   Sometimes you get lucky and family is friend.  Like my one daughter is my BFF!!!!  And I absolutely love her and relate to her and we're two peas in a pod!  And my other daughter who is the mother of our grandchildren....well I love her too but I always feel like it's kind of a chore to be with her.  And as for the grandkids, I love them but don't know them super well because it's always been a six hour drive between us so the visits are few and far apart.  Also they're still really young and it's easy to love the little ones.


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## Debby (Feb 27, 2016)

Sassycakes said:


> Words can't even express how much I love my 3 Grand children.
> I would give my life for them. .........
> When he told me what he was learning in college he said "Bio Medical Engineering."
> I said wow am I happy I don't have to help you with homework any more.
> ...




Awwww, such a nice thing for you to hear Sassycakes!


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## CoMoJayne (May 25, 2016)

Love them to the moon and back.   Three are 700 miles away but we face time every Thursday night and every other Sunday.  We drive down to visit for long weekends about every 8-12 weeks.   The other two (oldest and youngest) are only 20 minutes away.  The oldest (13..) spends weekends with us about once a month.  We are close enough with the little one (2) that she never minds when daddy and mommy leave to run errands.  There isn't hardly anything we wouldn't do for any of them.


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## exwisehe (May 25, 2016)

Oh yes! Nothing like grandkids.  I love them to death.  We do all kinds of things, silly things, and all the time I think I lose about 30 points in IQ when I'm with them, but that's ok.  Its a time of their life that goes by fast and we have to rack up good memories before they are gone.  I love to do silly, innocent things because I know that ahead of them life will not always be pleasant the way the world is going.

So I want them to remember these days with fondness.  Childhood is short and we wish it could go on forever.  We are all kids at heart, don't you think?


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## Lon (May 25, 2016)

My three grandchildren are now married adults with children of their own & I still love them as I do the four children they have produced.


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## suze (Jun 5, 2016)

Lynda, I have a 14 year old grandson that has my heart too!  Can't they be wonderful?  He graduated from 8th grade on Friday, and it was so precious to see him being recognized for the accomplishments he worked so hard to achieve, especially most improved academic.  He really struggled for that.  My heart's breaking as he's growing up and away, but he'll always be my boy!

suze


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