# Right Through The Cracks



## debodun

I am a 67 year old single woman and am tired of the upkeep and maintenance for my huge house (2500 sq ft Victorian on 1/4 acre lot - see photo).  Two summers ago, I spent looking a senior housing in my area. What I found out that these facilities fall into two categories: 
1) subsidized housing which are basically a 300 sq ft rooms with bed and bath and the residents cannot have over a $40K yearly income per person, no pets and 
2) nice places, with one and two bedroom units with many amenities (most of which I likely wouldn't use) but are out of my affordability range ($5000 and up a month). 
Back to square one.


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## Lethe200

Yes, it's an almost insurmountable problem for Boomers, no matter where one lives, but especially in high cost of living (HCOL) areas. A couple of my close family members are facing the same problem you are. Their kids (grown, married; one has kids while the other doesn't) are very worried about what's going to happen in the coming decade. 

What's fine in your 60's and even your 70's, often doesn't work so well when you hit your 80's, unfortunately. 

I was in a long discussion a couple of years ago on another website where many were vehement they would "stay forever" in their home, either remodeling or paying for home health aides.

Our cottage can't be retrofitted easily or attractively for Universal Access. We plan to move out and are currently researching senior living places. A lot of tough choices to make.


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## debodun

Lethe200 said:


> many were vehement they would "stay forever" in their home, either remodeling or paying for home health aides



I can't understand why so many feel this way. I'd like nothing better than to get somewhere where I didn't have to worry about maintenance. With my 122 year old house, there is ALWAYS something that needs fixing. The plumbing and wiring are so 19th century. I also noticed a soft spot on the backporch roof when I as cleaning out the rain gutters, so it would probably need extensive repairs to the wood as well and new roofing. Repairs just seem to snowball. One contractor even refused to get involved with me. He too one look at the house and said, quote, "I'm not opening THAT can of worms!" These young guys don't know how to fix old fixtures - they just want to work on homes 30 years old or newer with PVC pipes and grounded wiring.


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## Aunt Bea

That's why at this point I choose to live in a nondescript two bedroom apartment for approx. $700.00/month.

I'm still able to piece together the other amenities offered in most of the senior living facilities on my own for much less than the monthly fee of three to five thousand a month.  The only thing missing is the social life that an independent living complex might be able to offer.


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## StarSong

If you really want to go to assisted living, why not sell the house as is and use the proceeds to help fund your stay there?  Presumably you have a fair amount of equity in your house.  

You seem to be looking at one end of the spectrum and the other. Subsidized housing and assisted living. What about an apartment where you can have a pet or two, and you're within walking distance of town? 

I wouldn't blame age or experience for people not wanting to "open that can of worms." Working on a falling down house is a thankless task that involves lots of change orders as new problems are uncovered. Not a happy situation for contractor or owner.


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## Kathy5853

I agree with Aunt Bea, nice condo on the beach. Low monthly fee and someone takes care of the outside maintenance.


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## Marie5656

*I am not sure if this is the direction you want to go, but hear me out.  I live in a double wide mobile home. Have lived here over 35 years. The house is fully paid for.  It suited Rick and I just fine.  Now that I am alone again, I had a discussion with a trusted family member. We crunched numbers and felt it was in my financial best interest to stay here. My lot rent is only $508 a month.  Much less than a nice senior apartment.  I just pay utilities.  A neighbor cuts my lawn and plows my drive for a nominal fee (read that as I buy him and his wife a couple of steaks or a roast a few times a year).  I like my neighbors,
My sister in law (now a widow as my brother died) moved into an over 55 mobile home community after my brother died.  She loves it. There is a rec center, which she loves as she is a very social person.
If you are looking to down size, how about selling the house and using the proceeds to buy a mobile home?*


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## Ruth n Jersey

I can understand that the maintenance would be quite a problem on a place that large and that old. We have a ranch that is only 40 years old and we are starting to have maintenance problems. 
I like Marie's suggestion about a mobile home. I've seen some of them and they are gorgeous. Everything built in and very low maintenance. 
What I didn't care for was the senior housing. All that social stuff doesn't interest me. Seems to me everybody wants to know your business.


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## C'est Moi

Ruth n Jersey said:


> I can understand that the maintenance would be quite a problem on a place that large and that old. We have a ranch that is only 40 years old and we are starting to have maintenance problems.
> I like Marie's suggestion about a mobile home. I've seen some of them and they are gorgeous. Everything built in and very low maintenance.
> *What I didn't care for was the senior housing. All that social stuff doesn't interest me. *Seems to me everybody wants to know your business.


I agree with the social stuff.   No, thanks.   That is not a draw for me at all.


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## StarSong

Ruth n Jersey said:


> I can understand that the maintenance would be quite a problem on a place that large and that old. We have a ranch that is only 40 years old and we are starting to have maintenance problems.
> I like Marie's suggestion about a mobile home. I've seen some of them and they are gorgeous. Everything built in and very low maintenance.
> What I didn't care for was the senior housing. All that social stuff doesn't interest me. Seems to me everybody wants to know your business.





C'est Moi said:


> I agree with the social stuff.   No, thanks.   That is not a draw for me at all.


It wouldn't be for me either.


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## Butterfly

Selling a house that old with multiple problems might not be as easy as it sounds.  In some places you cannot sell a house with certain defects or code violations until you bring it up to code.  It can be a big catch-22.


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## Leann

Ruth n Jersey said:


> I can understand that the maintenance would be quite a problem on a place that large and that old. We have a ranch that is only 40 years old and we are starting to have maintenance problems.
> I like Marie's suggestion about a mobile home. I've seen some of them and they are gorgeous. Everything built in and very low maintenance.
> *What I didn't care for was the senior housing. All that social stuff doesn't interest me. Seems to me everybody wants to know your business*.


I have a ranch that was built in 1965 however it wasn't well-maintained or updated by the prior owners. I've spent a small fortune on repairs and remodeling. There is still more to do but my finances won't allow it now and maybe not ever. I'm starting to think about the feasibility of living here long-term. Senior housing doesn't appeal to me either. I wouldn't care much for the social stuff and would not avail myself of any of it. What I'd love to do is build a small one-story house (no basement, no attic) with just the basics... one bedroom, living room, eat-in kitchen, bathroom, laundry room, nice front porch and a garage. That would suit me perfectly.


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## win231

I guess I'm lucky.  We're the same age & my house is 6,100 sq. ft.  I don't have a housekeeper or gardener.  I can still do a decent job.  I need the exercise anyway - I have diabetes & need to use up the extra sugar.


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## debodun

Marie5656 said:


> *Now that I am alone again, I had a discussion with a trusted family member. We crunched numbers and felt it was in my financial best interest to stay here. *



I know what you mean, Marie. All the flyers from the senior living places suggested to compare the upkeep on a house to what it would cost to live in their facilities. I think they assumed it would be less expensive to live in their places. Well, I did a comp and it would cost me 3 times what it would to live in my house (going by what I pay for utilities, insurance and maintenance). 

My main concern is that I just I don't relish mowing the lawn in the spring and summer, mulching leaves (I have huge maple trees on my property) and cleaning out the gutters in the autumn, and shoveling snow in winter. In our community, the homeowners are responsible for removing snow from the public sidewalks that adjoin their property. That is an extra 50 feet of snow for me and being on the main street, once the plows go by at 40 miles an hour, they turn 6 inches of light fluffy powder into 3 feet of hard, impacted chunks! Of course people might say "Just don't shovel the public sidewalk," but there is a $50 a day fine for every day, once the snow has ended, if the sidewalk goes un-shoveled. No foolin' - here is our ordinance online:

http://www.villageofstillwaterny.org...idwalk_law.pdf


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## debodun

StarSong said:


> If you really want to go to assisted living, why not sell the house as is and use the proceeds to help fund your stay there?



To me, "assisted" living implies "nursing home". There are many around here that tout themselves are beimg for "active" or "independent" seniors but even there, maintenance is included or not an issue.


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## Marie5656

@debodun. That kind of sucks, paying a fine for now doing the public sidewalks.
Here in my community (the mobile homes) the park does the main roads, but we are responsible for our own property.  Our driveways and lots are not huge. But that being said, I used to be able to do it myself, when I first moved here. But I am no longer able to, though I do shovel the ramp in front of the house best I can.  I have a neighbor who mows my lawn and plows my drive. He has a riding mower.  In my case, said neighbor just started doing it on his own without me asking.  He does a few others in the street asa well. He refuses cash payment, but Rick and I often "paid" him 2-3 times a year by buying   him a couple good steaks ​There are usually many in the neighborhood willing to help out ,


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## Don M.

Old houses can quickly become a real "Money Pit"....few people are willing to invest the time and money required to bring them up to current standards.


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## Judycat

I'm stuck staying in my house until my pets die. Can't imagine dumping them on someone else. Just couldn't do that. That's my excuse anyway. I have a neighbor who acts like a feudal lord who would buy my house if and when I'm ready to go. He owns a junkyard emporium, seriously, and wants to control who moves into the neighborhood. Strange rural behavior. I wouldn't mind subsidized housing. Better than my son's windowless basement.


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## RadishRose

win231 said:


> I guess I'm lucky.  We're the same age & my house is 6,100 sq. ft.  I don't have a housekeeper or gardener.  I can still do a decent job.  I need the exercise anyway - I have diabetes & need to use up the extra sugar.


6,100 sq ft is huge, I wouldn't know what to do with it all, unless some family or friends lived with me. Then, it could be a lot of fun!


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## win231

RadishRose said:


> 6,100 sq ft is huge, I wouldn't know what to do with it all, unless some family or friends lived with me. Then, it could be a lot of fun!



It used to be 2 separate houses on the same lot.  We connected them.  My sister lives in the smaller front section - separated by a wall.  We entertain often in the larger rear section.


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## win231

Don M. said:


> Old houses can quickly become a real "Money Pit"....few people are willing to invest the time and money required to bring them up to current standards.


Ya got that right.  Copper re-pipe, new drain pipes, new supply pipe from the street, roof, sinks, faucets, toilets, electrical repairs, new air conditioners etc....over $200,000.00  so far.  Paint & bathroom remodel coming up..... 

My plumber got a new truck.  He said to me, "Well...you might as well check it out 'cuz....let's face it....you bought it."


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## StarSong

debodun said:


> To me, "assisted" living implies "nursing home". There are many around here that tout themselves are beimg for "active" or "independent" seniors but even there, maintenance is included or not an issue.



Deb, there's a big difference between assisted living and skilled nursing facilities.  No matter what you decide to do, you owe it to yourself to tour a few just to educate yourself.  The snake pits of the 1980s and earlier are gone.  The ones built since 2000 are more akin to cruise ships than hospitals. 

Assisted living may not be in my top 10 of places to live, but it's not in the top 50 of places I never want to go. I've spent enough time in a couple of really good ones to see that they are nothing to fear.

Regarding sidewalk upkeep, I've never known any city or town to plow, clear or sweep sidewalks. Are there places where this is not so?


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## StarSong

win231 said:


> Ya got that right.  Copper re-pipe, new drain pipes, new supply pipe from the street, roof, sinks, faucets, toilets, electrical repairs, new air conditioners etc....over $200,000.00  so far.  Paint & bathroom remodel coming up.....
> 
> My plumber got a new truck.  He said to me, "Well...you might as well check it out 'cuz....let's face it....you bought it."


Wow on your house, Win.  How old is it?  

I cannot imagine a 6100 SF house at this point in my life, even if partly shared with another person, but I bet it's a great place to have a big party!  

We're in 2500 and I'm glad it's not any bigger.  About 1/3 is only used when we have overnight guest. It's a mid-50s suburban build but we've repaired, remodeled and updated virtually everything since moving here 35 years ago - to the tune of at least $200K over the years, so I feel you on that one.  

A house is a living, breathing organism.  When people stop caring for them, they swiftly fall into disrepair.  I've known three cases in which quite elderly friends and family members tried to save money by fixing things with duct tape, spit and baling wire during the last 10 years of their lives.  Believe me, their places sure showed it.


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## win231

StarSong said:


> Wow on your house, Win.  How old is it?
> 
> I cannot imagine a 6100 SF house at this point in my life, even if partly shared with another person, but I bet it's a great place to have a big party!
> 
> We're in 2500 and I'm glad it's not any bigger.  About 1/3 is only used when we have overnight guest. It's a mid-50s suburban build but we've repaired, remodeled and updated virtually everything since moving here 35 years ago - to the tune of at least $200K over the years, so I feel you on that one.
> 
> A house is a living, breathing organism.  When people stop caring for them, they swiftly fall into disrepair.  I've known three cases in which quite elderly friends and family members tried to save money by fixing things with duct tape, spit and baling wire during the last 10 years of their lives.  Believe me, their places sure showed it.



It was built in 1953.  It was physically built by the people we bought it from.  The owner was a contractor & he designed it to withstand strong earthquakes.  Whenever plumbers have had to work here, they always ask me "Who the heck built this house?  I've never seen separate foundations for the bottom two floors & they are more than double thickness."  Houses aren't built that way today; it's too costly.   It's been through several 6.7 quakes with the epicenter 6 miles away with no damage.


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## Liberty

win...we have a big house too...hubby built it - its on wooded acreage, and doesn't even seem big as its very open.  We do have someone who mows though and have had for years.  Think its great to have space and nature and privacy, as long as it doesn't overwhelm you with "have too's". It "pleasures us".


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## debodun

A few years ago, some developers wanted to take 5 acres of cemetery property and build senior apartments there. I told the mayor that they were sending us a subtle message. I haven't heard any more about the senior apartments here. Here's an aerial view of the area (outlined in red).


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## gennie

debodun said:


> I am a 67 year old single woman and am tired of the upkeep and maintenance for my huge house (2500 sq ft Victorian on 1/4 acre lot - see photo).  Two summers ago, I spent looking a senior housing in my area. What I found out that these facilities fall into two categories:
> 1) subsidized housing which are basically a 300 sq ft rooms with bed and bath and the residents cannot have over a $40K yearly income per person, no pets and
> 2) nice places, with one and two bedroom units with many amenities (most of which I likely wouldn't use) but are out of my affordability range ($5000 and up a month).
> Back to square one.



debodun, it you live in an area where these are the ONLY two options - absolutely nothing in between - it's time to look at re-locating.


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## Manatee

There is no way that I would own a house again.  We are in a 55+ condo which we bought for cash with what we received from selling our last place.  Our maintenance is $320 a month which includes water, sewer, all exterior maintenance and access to the rec centers.  We pay  cable/internet and electric bill. plus real estate taxes to the county  Important, we have no stairs to climb.


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## debodun

When you mentioned 55+ communities, I did a search for any around here. No active adult ones, just nursing homes. I would prefer to rent becasue once I buy, I'm stuck there if I don't like it.


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## RadishRose

Deb, I found nice places near you I would like for myself! Ballston Spa in your own County.

The Springs
$1,450 - $1,450 | 1 Bed | 1 Bath | 990 - 990 Sq. Ft.

Maximum of 2 pets per home. Additional rent for pets is $25 per month per pet. The *one-time pet fee is $250.* Call for full details.Maximum of 2 pets per home. Additional rent for pets is $25 per month per pet. The one-time pet fee is $250. Call for full details.








Here are more places- https://www.after55.com/ny/ballston-spa


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## debodun

Thank you for the link, RR. I did actually look at some of them. That Falccon Trace was a dump.  You could tell just walking in. There was a man in a wheelchair in the lobby when I went in and he told me a lot of bad things about it. It was right next to a car dealership, too. They make it looks nice in the photos, but you have to live there to know the ups and downs. There was another in Malta that didn't get good reviews online.


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## RadishRose

Keep looking, @debodun they're out there.
No more climbing on the porch roof!!!

What you're spending for heat alone, must be huge. Get yourself into a safe, up to date, up to code place. Good luck.


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## debodun

I could have the gutters removed! LOL


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## Sunny

I live in a beautiful, well-maintained building, a hi-rise in my very active seniors community. Not assisted living, just a community where you have to be 55 or older. Lot of activities and social support, easy to make friends.  The homes vary in price from very modest to luxury-level, though still costing a lot less than the same house would as a standalone in one of the millionaire communities around here. Our homes are everything from small "studio" apartments to large, 2-story, 4-bedroom houses, and everything in between.

There are lots of independent-living senior communities like ours, and many more new ones being developed. It's really not necessary to go to the poorhouse to live decently. Do some research, Deb, you may be surprised!


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## Lethe200

>>What I didn't care for was the senior housing. All that social stuff doesn't interest me. Seems to me everybody wants to know your business. >>

At the better senior living places we've investigated (some being visited multiple times), I've never gotten the impression that residents feel "pressured" into joining activities.

My MIL loved social contact but liked to keep it superficial and casual. She never appeared to have any problems limiting her time. 

What she DID have, and appreciated, was the feeling of safety - a secure campus facility with 24/7 staff and help at the press of a button. She liked knowing that if she missed two meals in a row, someone would immediately check or call to be sure she was okay. No more worries about housekeeping, laundry, or falling in the bathtub. 5 acres with lovely gardens and walking paths - and this was in the heart of a big city!

As Starsong says, there is a BIG difference between Independent, Assisted, and Skilled Care (e.g., nursing). To lump together such disparate types is like saying that all the seniors here, right now, live in the same kind of housing and have the same identical issues. It's simply not accurate.

My DH and I are currently researching senior living facilities and will be downsizing in the next 1-2 yrs. We have wonderful neighbors, but everybody is away at work during the day. We're having to limit our travel because we don't like leaving the house empty for weeks on end.  

It's better to move sooner rather than later - less hassle and more freedom. I will be happy to be rid of taking care of a SFH and large garden.


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## Pete

debodun said:


> out of my affordability range ($5000 and up a month).
> Back to square one.


 Don't know where your located but I live in a place called Lakeside Manor Apartments the small apartment I am living in is over 600 sq feet and rent is $750. You must be 65 or over and not have a lot of money but its a very nice apartment. Of course there is the Texas heat to deal with considering I  moved here from Alaska.


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## StarSong

Lethe200 said:


> >>*It's better to move sooner rather than later - less hassle and more freedom. I will be happy to be rid of taking care of a SFH and large garden.*


You're so right, Lethe.  And don't forget the downsizing challenge.  

The very act of having to make a decision about every one of your possessions (do I keep it, donate it, trash it, or try to give away to a loved one?) is physically and emotionally exhausting.  Over the past five years my husband and I dramatically decreased (or entirely liquidated) the possessions of our parents plus a neighbor when they went to AL or died.  

I'm here to tell you that even when it's not your stuff this is not a task for the faint of heart. And the older we get the harder it becomes.  Trust me.

 DH and I are endlessly purging and donating our stuff, but it still seems to breed when we're not looking.


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## debodun

One of my problems is downsizing. I've been having estate sales since my mom passed, but today's market doesn't favor what my mom collected. People have told me not to knock myself out having sales and  to donate it to thrift stores or charitiy shops, but they don't want it either. They aren't selling and don't want to take on more merchandise.


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## Aunt Bea

debodun said:


> One of my problems is downsizing. I've been having estate sales since my mom passed, but today's market doesn't favor what my mom collected. People have told me not to knock myself out having sales and  to donate it to thrift stores or charitiy shops, but they don't want it either. They aren't selling and don't want to take on more merchandise.


Hire an auctioneer!

The things will bring what the local market is willing to pay and at the end of the day, it will all be *GONE*.


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## debodun

Aunt Bea said:


> Hire an auctioneer!
> 
> The things will bring what the local market is willing to pay and at the end of the day, it will all be *GONE*.



I did get an auctioneer the spring after my mom passed. He only took the very best items, then somehow lost most of it. He gave me no receipt for what he took from the house, so I have no proof. After that, I decided to handle sales myself where I have some control.


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## JustBonee

Having too many material things and not wanting to part with them can be a big issue for many people.   I had a large home, and yard/pool and garage and shed FULL of a lifetime of things a couple years ago.   I needed to free myself from 90% of everything to move on... to have  freedom  and peace of mind  to live the rest of my life.  
It wasn't easy, but I did it with sheer determination.   I miss some things that I gave away or sold,  but it was definitely worth it.  ALL stress is gone these days!


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## WhatInThe

Butterfly said:


> Selling a house that old with multiple problems might not be as easy as it sounds.  In some places you cannot sell a house with certain defects or code violations until you bring it up to code.  It can be a big catch-22.


It would probably have to be an as-is cash sale.  Will probably lose some money but that's a lot of house a property that would bring a pretty penny even from cash buyers. Little or no money out of pocket. Or if money in hand perhaps a project or two a year to turn it into a traditional real estate sale. But again even with money once a problem is exposed ie walls and ceilings taken down in many areas any issues must be addressed even they aren't affecting anything. And old stuff isn't as easy to take apart and put back together unscathed either.


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## StarSong

Deb, you frequently describe your efforts to sell items that you and others apparently don't want, but you nevertheless believe should fetch financial value (because either you or your mother bought, collected and probably treasured them). At some point, trying to wring a few dollars out of these pieces will effectively paralyze you by demanding your attention and keeping you in a home that you've claimed to no longer want or need.

Most of our worldly possessions fall under the accounting category as "sunk costs," meaning that the money is not an investment but rather an amount that has already been paid and cannot be recovered through resale.

If estate sale companies, resale stores, and charity shops (who would get this stuff as donations) don't want these pieces, it seems clear that there is no market for them.  Perhaps it's time to put them out on your front lawn with a sign that says, "FREE" and move them along to new homes.  Trash what doesn't get taken and move forward.    

You may find that you relish the freedom that a dramatically lightened possession load brings to your life.


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## Leann

StarSong, I think you bring up an excellent point about the overload of items that many of us have. I'm paring down my things but am not yet where I want to be. My sister, on the other hand, has a home with a two car garage overflowing with things (literally) that may have had some value at one time but are no longer desirable or sellable. For example, she has a nice cabinet for china. Not my taste but it's nice. She has several other china cabinets and all are FILLED with plates, cups, saucers, serving pieces, cut glass bowls, vases and on and on and on. Anyway, about ten years ago someone offered to buy this one china cabinet from her for a good price. She said it was worth more than the buyer was offering so she turned it down. Guess what? Now it's worth almost nothing. No one wants it. She could have had $2500 in her pocket back then if she had sold the piece of furniture. 

The market is flooded with all of the possessions that were once our parents and the things that are ours, too. Tastes have changed. Maybe in 20 years or so this stuff will be back in vogue but who knows? 

For me, it's an ongoing project. I'm making progress slowly but I need to kick it up a notch. I like to read about others who are confronting similar issues which is why I enjoy this forum so much.


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## WhatInThe

... it's an on going project-this describes it best.


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## Leann




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## Butterfly

debodun said:


> One of my problems is downsizing. I've been having estate sales since my mom passed, but today's market doesn't favor what my mom collected. People have told me not to knock myself out having sales and  to donate it to thrift stores or charitiy shops, but they don't want it either. They aren't selling and don't want to take on more merchandise.



Then your only option  may be to just pitch it, unless you are willing to continue living with a bunch of stuff you don't need, don't want, and nobody else wants either.


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## debodun

I just wonder what has changed in the last 30 years? It seemed back then everyone was collecting something and they'd pay anything even if it has a small defect. Depression glass and Asian pottery were hot collectibles. Nowadays, you can't give things away and the few people that do collect want things in perfect condition, but don't want to pay a fair market value.


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## Aunt Bea

debodun said:


> I just wonder what has changed in the last 30 years? It seemed back then everyone was collecting something and they'd pay anything even if it has a small defect. Depression glass and Asian pottery were hot collectibles. Nowadays, you can't give things away and the few people that do collect want things in perfect condition, but don't want to pay a fair market value.


I think some things become too old for most younger people to have any frame of reference for them.  We tend to collect things that we remember from our childhood, visits to our grandparents, etc...  For most younger folks that is what they now call mid-century modern.  I also see the younger folks looking for big pieces of advertising and steampunk industrial type things to put in their loft-style apartments.

I suppose it depends on what you consider the fair market value of an item.  In my area, the fair market value of many items today is the dollar or two that they bring in the local thrift shops and not the book prices from old Kovel price guides.

If you enjoy being surrounded with these things from your past then make peace with your situation and enjoy them if you don't then get rid of them and don't waste the years you have left trying to figure out the changes in the market.

I've been making an effort to gradually get rid of things while I'm still in fairly good health because if my health fails it will become an even more difficult task.

Good luck!!!


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## debodun

People to whom I have discussed this theme, either in person or through social media, have been shocked when they tell their children that will be inheriting their possession only to be told their kids don't want it. I shudder to think every day how many valuable items are put in a dumpster because they are unwanted or the family just can't be bothered to find a buyer or collector.


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## JustBonee

Face reality.  We live in different times now.  The old  saying:    One Man’s Junk is Another Man’s Treasure
Well, just turn that around ..   and that's where we are today.  The world is over populated with people and material goods.


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## debodun

Well, what IS different?


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## StarSong

What's different is that most young people aren't interested in this stuff, just as our generation wasn't interested in owning things from the 1880s.  

They have a right to not want or value what we wanted or valued.


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## Liberty

StarSong said:


> What's different is that most young people aren't interested in this stuff, just as our generation wasn't interested in owning things from the 1880s.
> 
> They have a right to not want or value what we wanted or valued.


Hey, just wait till their kids  want to collect "doillies" or something...lol.  Boy will they be surprised!


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## Aunt Bea

debodun said:


> Well, what IS different?


The difference may be that most people born and raised before WWII had very few material possessions, the I got an orange in my stocking for Christmas generations.  While the people born and raised in the years following WWII had many many more material possessions.  The older generations valued *stuff *and the newer generations have sort of overdosed on *stuff* or realize that if they need something it's just a few mouse clicks away. At least that's a theory! 

The fact is that no matter what is going on in the larger world around us we still need to do what is best for each of us as individuals and for me, that means I need to lighten the load.

Good luck!


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## GeorgiaXplant

That's just it, Deb. "Valuable items" in our estimation aren't valuable to anybody else. It's sort of like our homes and our cars...we almost always feel like they're worth more than they really are. They're only worth more to US.

The most freeing thing I ever did was to downsize...now I have seven pieces of furniture if I count the two bookcases. What didn't sell at yard sales got loaded up and taken to Goodwill. That included the blankety-blank Haviland china. Pfffft. I don't miss any of it!


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## RadishRose

Later generations favor enriching experiences rather than things.

We can fly off to anywhere, roadtrips are quicker, most people have cars and there's more to see. We eat more casually; fancy serving ware isn't needed as much anymore.

Past generations couldn't travel the world like people today, on their time off. They'll save for travel, not for antiques.


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## Leann

My sister has two adult sons. The sons have told my sister and her husband that they don't want any of the "junk" (as they call it) and if there comes a time when they inherit it, they'll just throw it out. They didn't say it as bluntly as I have put it here but they did make it known that they just don't want the mountains of things. My daughters feel much the same about my stuff. I have offered many things to them over and again and I get the same "no, you keep it Mom, it looks nice in your house".


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## Sunny

I overheard this comment once at a garage sale:  "All old people think their stuff is a lot more valuable than it really is."


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## JustBonee

Leann said:


> My sister has two adult sons. The sons have told my sister and her husband that they don't want any of the "junk" (as they call it) and if there comes a time when they inherit it, they'll just throw it out. They didn't say it as bluntly as I have put it here but they did make it known that they just don't want the mountains of things. My daughters feel much the same about my stuff. I have offered many things to them over and again and I get the same "no, you keep it Mom, it looks nice in your house".


I understand fully Leann.  I went through that too.  ..  I'm past the big house/yard  and years of collected family belongings now.  Everything is gone or found a new home.      Sold the property and have started a new chapter after losing my husband.   As I moved to my apartment with bare essentials and just enough furniture and small things that  make me smile,   my two  daughters informed me that when I die they will just open the door and tell people to help themselves.   How's that?  
(But in all fairness, they put a lot of time and hard work  into the house sale, along with their husbands,  and helped me with everything involved.   They moved me to my apartment also .... so I guess they can feel that way.)  

So I look at what I'm surrounded with these days in a new light, and* I'll *enjoy it ..lol


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## Butterfly

debodun said:


> People to whom I have discussed this theme, either in person or through social media, have been shocked when they tell their children that will be inheriting their possession only to be told their kids don't want it. I shudder to think every day how many valuable items are put in a dumpster because they are unwanted or the family just can't be bothered to find a buyer or collector.



The thing is -- that nothing really has any intrinsic value.  A thing is only worth something insofar as someone else is willing to pay  money to own it.  

Even gold and diamonds have no actual intrinsic value -- they are only valuable because people see them as desirable and want to own them.

So things that once were valuable become worthless because no one sees them as desirable or wants to own them anymore.

Younger people are not collecting things anymore, largely because they do not want to be burdened down by stuff they do not see as benefiting their modern-day lifestyles.  Stuff that mostly just sits around and collects dust and is difficult to just throw in a box and move easily if they decide to move for work or whatever simply is of no value to them and they do not want it.   Stuff like glassware collections and so on are seen by most of them as just so much junk and another burden.  It's just a fact of modern life.


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## Leann

I've moved 10-12 times in my life so far. And each time I would ask myself "how did I get so much stuff?".  So I would dutifully go through everything, make multiple trips to donation centers and then swear to myself that I wasn't going to let my next home or apartment fill up again. Invariably it would happen, maybe not to as great degree as it had in the past. 

I've decided to employ a "moving but not really moving" strategy into my current lifestyle and home. I'm looking at each room, closet, drawer, cabinet and storage space with a critical eye and asking myself to decide what I would pack and take with me if I was moving in six months. This fresh approach is already helping me to clear things out. 

And if I do move at some future point (which I most likely will into an apartment or a senior facility when the time comes), it will be that much less that I or anyone helping me will have to deal with.


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## gennie

The real market value of something - whether it be real estate, goods or services - can only be determined in one way.  It is the amount you are willing to pay and I am willing to accept *at a given time.  *Yesterdays and tomorrows don't count.   

I gained major contentment and peace of mind when I realized that _things really are just things_ and stopped letting my life be controlled by them.  Keep what makes you happy and let the rest go.  Life is short.  Move on.  A perfect world does not exist.  We must learn to accept good enough.


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## GeorgiaXplant

I really think a lot of it has to do with older folks having to do without


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## debodun

My mom grew up during the Depression. Her father earned less than $10 a WEEK and had to support himself, his wife and 4 children on that. She and one of her brothers were once institutionalized because they were malnourished. I think that psychologically affected my mom and when she got to a point in her life that she could acquire things, she went a little overboard, almost bordering on being a hoarder. She would go to garage sales and auctions and just buy them out - didn't matter what it was or in what condition. Maybe she had the idea that all that china, glassware and Victorian furniture would be a nice inheritance for me. Who knew the American economy would tank in the 1990s and the bottom would fall out of the antiques market. I have several price guides to glassware and the older ones have higher prices than the newer ones - things don't always get more valuable with age. On average, prices now are half what they were 20 years ago. I wish she had taken all that money she spent on things no one wants anymore and invested it in CDs (not compact disks).


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## Sunny

In addition to all the changes that have been mentioned in this discussion, there are also big changes to our lifestyles brought about by technology. I have mentioned elsewhere on this forum the big project I've just completed, of wading through all the thousands of slides my late husband left. They are a lovely record of our family history, at least starting with him and me, but who looks at slides any more?  I've picked out about 700 of the best ones, nearly all of people, not scenery, and had them digitized and put on DVD's at Costco. I am giving them to my kids and grandkids, hoping they will treasure these memories and will keep the DVD's, as at least they are compact and easy to take with them when they move. But I realize that even those things will become obsolete. Maybe all pictures will be kept on "the cloud" or some other form of electronic memory.

Photos are not as precious to the young as they were to us. Their phones go with them everywhere and are nearly an extension of their bodies. Anything that piques their interest gets dozens of pictures if they like, then they are instantly shared with everybody, around the world at times. Who needs an old fashioned photo album, slides, or any of the rest of it?

The photos are one of the most dramatic changes, but in general, everything has become smaller and more portable. They do not want big, heavy furniture, except maybe the couch and the bed. And they seem to have no interest in our "precious" china, glassware, silver (especially silver!) or any of the rest of it. Maybe the pendulum will swing back, who knows?


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## StarSong

debodun said:


> ...I wish she had taken all that money she spent on things no one wants anymore and invested it in CDs (not compact disks).



Deb, rare indeed is the person our age - or younger - who hasn't had this thought when clearing possessions from someone a generation older than us. My in-laws "invested" thousands of dollars in worthless Franklin Mint coins and other "collectibles."  I use quotation marks because despite how they were marketed, other than the few silver coins that have some precious metal value, the lion's share of these items are neither investments nor collectibles, but rather pure trash.)  

Many of our own heirs will someday feel the same way about our belongings. I have gobs of fine jewelry (gold and precious stones) from my earlier years and as inheritances from my mother and grandmother. Some pieces I've already passed down to my daughter and DILs, but nobody wears this stuff anymore.  When was the last time you saw a 40 year old or younger woman sporting a diamond tennis bracelet?    

I keep the jewelry in a bank safety deposit box and take out a bit for weddings and fancy parties and then return it.  I have no idea what will happen to it eventually.  Perhaps my kids will hold onto a few favorites and sell the rest for the weight of the gold and the value of the gems.


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## JustBonee

If you are a coin collector there is a bright spot though ... certain rare old coins can still bring in some big dollars.  That probably has never changed.
Just heard yesterday about a 1943 Copper Penny  that someone got  $170,000 for. ...    It was one of those 'error'  coins that wasn't supposed to get out, but some did find their way into circulation.


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## debodun

Sunny said:


> Photos are not as precious to the young as they were to us. Who needs an old fashioned photo album, slides, or any of the rest of it?



I know what you mean, Sunny. I have my parents photo album and the one they stared for me when I was born. I am an only child and never married or had my own childrem. Who would even be interested in these photos?


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## GeorgiaXplant

Yanno, Deb, in your shoes I think I'd just figure out a (bargain) flat price for the house and contents "as is," collect the money and find a place where you can start over with all brand new everything that you get to choose yourself. Only take with you your favorite things. Just get the money, hand over the keys, turn your back and hit the road. It beats agonizing over it all. And, as I've said before, downsizing is freeing. VERY freeing. The stuff that I've had to sell or give away? Pfffft. Haven't missed any of it. Truly haven't.


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## JustBonee

Sunny said:


> In addition to all the changes that have been mentioned in this discussion, there are also big changes to our lifestyles brought about by technology. I have mentioned elsewhere on this forum the big project I've just completed, of wading through all the thousands of slides my late husband left. They are a lovely record of our family history, at least starting with him and me, but who looks at slides any more?  I've picked out about 700 of the best ones, nearly all of people, not scenery, and had them digitized and put on DVD's at Costco. I am giving them to my kids and grandkids, hoping they will treasure these memories and will keep the DVD's, as at least they are compact and easy to take with them when they move. But I realize that even those things will become obsolete. Maybe all pictures will be kept on "the cloud" or some other form of electronic memory.
> ...



We had a large case of  family slides that sat for years untouched by anyone. ...   my younger daughter took  them when we were cleaning out the house to sell,   and  she had them digitized also.


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## GeorgiaXplant

Now that I think about it, even you don't want the lion's share of this stuff. If you did, you wouldn't have spent so much time and energy trying to unload it!


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## Marie5656

*I really cannot add much to this conversation except to reiterate that people of our parents, and our generation often treasured stuff more than now.  In our parents day, people lived in their homes for 40-50 years some time, and thus acquired a lot of possessions.
The younger generation now is more mobile, do not stay in one place as long, and have no desire or need for "stuff" except for basic needs.
I agree with @StarSong that your only option may be to break down and let it go.  Put it at the road, hope people will just take it all.  It is obvious you are not having luck selling or donating the items.
I am downsizing a lot now, just so when I go, my family will not have to deal with it all.  My husband's clothes that are still in good shape are going to a local men's homeless shelter.  As well as a couple pieces of furniture as they do provide short term rooms there for the men.
I think that you will feel much better if you just let it go.   You have the house, itself, to deal with which you have said may be hard to sell*


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## gennie

debodun said:


> I know what you mean, Sunny. I have my parents photo album and the one they stared for me when I was born. I am an only child and never married or had my own childrem. Who would even be interested in these photos?



Debodum, about your photos .... contact distant cousins.  Any who are doing genealogy would be interested in family photos especially  if they include common ancestors or family events.  If you aren't close to any, accept a free trial membership to Ancestry and do a search for your grandparents.  There is a very good chance you can find distant relatives who are researching your line.  Finding a diary or photo of an old common ancestor is like gold to a person researching family history.  The web site is very easy to use and also provides a way to message others.  If you use the free introductory thingie, be sure to follow the directions to cancel if they have asked for a credit card.

 Also, if any of your photos or memorabilia have any historical value such as picturing period clothing or other items, a local (city, county or even state) historical society might be interested.


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## debodun

The house next door has had a dresser out on the corner with a FREE sign on it for weeks and no one has taken it. Things are so bad here, you can't give things away.


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## Marie5656

Seems as if it may just need to go into the trash.  My husband had a lot of old family pictures.  I first asked his cousin and aunt if they wanted any, and both asked for a few of my husband, but otherwise told me to do what I wanted with them.  So, I saved out a few, and threw out the rest.  I know some of the "things" and nick knacks will go to the dumpster as well.  That is just the way it is.


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## StarSong

debodun said:


> The house next door has had a dresser out on the corner with a FREE sign on it for weeks and no one has taken it. Things are so bad here, you can't give things away.


That's a pretty clear answer to why you're not selling things.  You could put an ad up on Craigslist saying free items will be at the curb.  That'll generate traffic from folks who don't happen to wander your neighborhood.  

If people won't take your stuff for free, that's about as loud a message as you're going to get. It's time to read the writing on the wall.


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## debodun

Two years ago, I had a knotty pine end table. I thought it was worth $20 and advertised it as that. No response. I lowered the price to $10 and no nibbles. Then I dropped to $5 for and no interest. Finally, I put it up for free and got 10 inquiries. I told the man that came to get it what happened and he said, "I only look at the free stuff." Probably what everyone else is doing.


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## GeorgiaXplant

There's your answer: Put it all at the curb and advertise that it's all free, first-come, first-served. There will probably be a traffic jam on your street! LOL


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## Butterfly

I don't know that I'd even bother to carry it out to the curb.  I'd just get rid of it.

I don't things are going to change in the future so that younger folks may want our gee-gaws (as my grandmother used to call them).  Younger folks are just getting more and more mobile every day and you  couldn't even give them a bunch of glassware or heavy furniture.  

My son, for instance, doesn't want anything he can't throw in his truck and move to the next place he'll be working.  Even those who more or less stay put don't want stuff because they don't have room for it.  Rents are so high they are living in small places and don't have room for anything that doesn't have function for them.


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## StarSong

I don't know that I'd agree that nobody wants any of our stuff ever at all.  After all, Millennials _are_ buying homes and furnishing them; they're not living in teepees, bringing with them only what they and their horses can ferry to the next campsite as they follow the buffalo.

Tastes have changed somewhat, but high quality items remain desirable.  There's a big difference between junk that became collectible for generational nostalgic reasons (like Depression-era glass which was so inexpensively made that it most was given away by theaters, grocers, etc., as incentives to generate business, but remind some of their childhood homes) and hand-cut Waterford or Orrefors crystal. 

Very high quality pieces, whether antique or modern, remain marketable in most areas of our country. There is a big difference, however, between "very high quality" and "a bunch of stuff that people collected and had in their houses." 

I've known people who've collected mass-produced Disney stuff, Beanie Babies, Cabbage Patch dolls, National Geographic magazines, and more.  Most of this stuff is worth bupkis in a resale market.


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## JustBonee

StarSong said:


> I've known people who've collected *mass-produced* Disney stuff, Beanie Babies, Cabbage Patch dolls, National Geographic magazines, and more.  Most of this stuff is worth bupkis in a resale market.



The mass-produced stuff is worthless,  but an example of something holding it's value is an original Cabbage Patch doll.  I remember a time when I really wanted to buy one   ... just as well I guess, because I probably could not have afforded the price tag.  







*Cabbage Patch dolls date back to the 1980s and the value of original models may exceed $50,000.* 

Original dolls and those still made by Xavier Roberts, the original doll maker, can fetch anywhere from six to 10 times the amount of a mass-produced and licensed version of the toy. The dolls made by Roberts himself are called Cabbage Patch Original Kids to distinguish them from the dolls licensed by toy companies.

https://www.reference.com/hobbies-games/value-original-cabbage-patch-dolls-65bef8b88c5d6ebf


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## debodun

I found the photo my mom took of me up in the roof cleaning out the gutters - from the color of my hair, this must have been in the late 1980s or early 90s.


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## Marie5656

@debodun you are braver than me.  I would never have had the courage to climb up onto the roof to clean. You go, girl.


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## Lc jones

We just bought a lovely home in Florida after living next to a junkyard (I kid u not) for 26 years. We scrimped and saved for many years to be able to afford the house of our dreams. It’s not extravagant but it’s exactly what we were looking for.  We are still healthy enough to do yardwork and interior cleaning but if we need help we’ll be able to manage as we’ve been saving for many years. We are tickled pink.


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## debodun

Yesterday I got an estimate for having the back porch roof repaired (red outline on photo). $3100 an that includes a "senior discount".


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## StarSong

True, Bonnie.  Although very few people's "collectibles" fall into this category, I did make the distinction because some do.   

No doubt that some folks might value a Cabbage Patch Original Kid at $50K plus.  But valuing it at that and actually getting paid that much are two entirely different things.


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## MeAgain

Aunt Bea said:


> That's why at this point I choose to live in a nondescript two bedroom apartment for approx. $700.00/month.
> 
> I'm still able to piece together the other amenities offered in most of the senior living facilities on my own for much less than the monthly fee of three to five thousand a month.  The only thing missing is the social life that an independent living complex might be able to offer.




That could also be a good thing.


----------



## MeAgain

Marie5656 said:


> @debodun. That kind of sucks, paying a fine for now doing the public sidewalks.
> Here in my community (the mobile homes) the park does the main roads, but we are responsible for our own property.  Our driveways and lots are not huge. But that being said, I used to be able to do it myself, when I first moved here. But I am no longer able to, though I do shovel the ramp in front of the house best I can.  I have a neighbor who mows my lawn and plows my drive. He has a riding mower.  In my case, said neighbor just started doing it on his own without me asking.  He does a few others in the street asa well. He refuses cash payment, but Rick and I often "paid" him 2-3 times a year by buying
> him a couple good steaks
> There are usually many in the neighborhood willing to help out ,



I think that may be a good idea considering all the other options allowed us.
  Except I'd like it to be an adult only facility. No kids pushing drugs or breaking things.
Or an adult only condo or apartment complex. Of course the neighborhood would have to be safe too ,good luck with that now that they are pushing diversity of income hoods. Just last week a couple were attacked while taking out trash.
   I brought up senior communes 'lol' awhile back,but that is't logical either. Some are far out stone head hippies without a cause.


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## debodun

About a year ago, our mayor was going to look into getting a program started at the high school for students to earn credits for doing chores for seniors. Haven't heard anything more about it. I just wonder since students likely wouldn't be insured if that is really a good idea. If they get hurt while working for someone, the homeowner would be liable.


----------



## MeAgain

debodun said:


> About a year ago, our mayor was going to look into getting a program started at the high school for students to earn credits for doing chores for seniors. Haven't heard anything more about it. I just wonder since students likely wouldn't be insured if that is really a good idea. If they get hurt while working for someone, the homeowner would be liable.



How safe would that be?


----------



## RadishRose

Lc jones said:


> We just bought a lovely home in Florida after living next to a junkyard (I kid u not) for 26 years. We scrimped and saved for many years to be able to afford the house of our dreams. It’s not extravagant but it’s exactly what we were looking for.  We are still healthy enough to do yardwork and interior cleaning but if we need help we’ll be able to manage as we’ve been saving for many years. We are tickled pink.


Congratulations Lc! Wishing you many happy years in your new home!


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## debodun

I just did a search on Zillow and Realtor.com for homes in my area and with my criteria. They only found two and one looks too large and it's in a development, the other looks like a fixer-upper (I already have one of those).


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## Marie5656

MeAgain said:


> I think that may be a good idea considering all the other options allowed us.
> Except I'd like it to be an adult only facility. No kids pushing drugs or breaking things.
> Or an adult only condo or apartment complex. Of course the neighborhood would have to be safe too ,good luck with that now that they are pushing diversity of income hoods. Just last week a couple were attacked while taking out trash.
> I brought up senior communes 'lol' awhile back,but that is't logical either. Some are far out stone head hippies without a cause.



My sister in law moved into an over 55 mobile home community in Florida after my brother died.  She loves it.


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## debodun

I did an inquiry on Home Advisor for roofers. Obly two responses and they are 50 - 60 miles away!


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## Lc jones

RadishRose said:


> Congratulations Lc! Wishing you many happy years in your new home!


 Thanks for your well wishes!


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## OneEyedDiva

Deb... Like someone said having to worry about upkeep going forward, especially when you reach your 80's will probably not be desirable. If you sold your home, shouldn't that generate enough income for you to live in a reasonable rental? See if this will help you find a place. Once you click on the link for the state and city you're interested in, off to the right there's a grid that gives stats on the average, highest and lowest rents in that city according to the number of bedrooms . Below that, a link is provided for you to browse available apartments in whatever price range you choose. Armed with this knowledge, you can also check other apartment rental sites.  Hope this helps. https://www.apartmenthomeliving.com/sitemap


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## debodun

Thanks for the link, OED.


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## debodun

I called a tree service contractor last week. He said he's stop by and look at the work I wanted done on Thursday evening. Thursday evening came and went and he never showed. I called him Friday morning and he said for sure he would stop that evening. I am still waiting (this is Monday afternoon). There isn't that many tree service companies around here, so being summer they may be very busy and spread pretty thin, but he could have called and said he couldn't make it instead of keeping me waiting. I just can't get this rude attitude these contractors have. It's like "I'm doing you a favor by just talking to you on the phone". Shades of "The Money Pit".


----------



## debodun

OneEyedDiva said:


> you can also check other apartment rental sites.  Hope this helps. https://www.apartmenthomeliving.com/sitemap



I did a search there and with the criteria I chose, it came up with two places. One I already looked at and it's a dreary holding tank for people waiting to die. The other is too far away. I'd prefer to stay in the locale with which I am familiar. That is the crux of my whining - the places I can afford are just a 200 sq ft box and the nicer places are out of my price range. I'd like to still come out ahead at the end of the month.


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## debodun

Those places with the $5000+ a month rent have too many rules. One told me that you can't do any redecorating, even hanging a picture on the wall without getting approval from the management, then it is done by one of their contractors.


----------



## Liberty

debodun said:


> Those places with the $5000+ a month rent have too many rules. One told me that you can't do any redecorating, even hanging a picture on the wall without getting approval from the management, then it is done by one of their contractors.


You gotta be kidding me.  What is it a five grand a month "prison"?  They should be wearing masks - how in the world do they ever get anyone to move in with those kind of rigid rules ?!


----------



## Patio Life

Aunt Bea said:


> That's why at this point I choose to live in a nondescript two bedroom apartment for approx. $700.00/month.
> 
> I'm still able to piece together the other amenities offered in most of the senior living facilities on my own for much less than the monthly fee of three to five thousand a month.  The only thing missing is the social life that an independent living complex might be able to offer.


Is there a senior center anywhere near you? They offer a lot of activities both during the day and sometimes in the evenings. Lots of opportunities for a social life.


----------



## Liberty

Patio Life said:


> Is there a senior center anywhere near you? They offer a lot of activities both during the day and sometimes in the evenings. Lots of opportunities for a social life.


Seems to me prices are rising from the ridiculous to the "can't believe it" levels in this country for both renters and buyers.


----------



## Butterfly

debodun said:


> I did an inquiry on Home Advisor for roofers. Obly two responses and they are 50 - 60 miles away!



Well, Home Advisor doesn't have all the roofers, not even most of them.  Can't you just do a web search and find others?


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## GeorgiaXplant

I wouldn't put one more red cent into repairs to a house that needs major work to bring it up to code. The more you post about things that need to be repaired/renovated, the more it sounds like a tear-down that's only worth the land it sits on. It's time to turn loose, Deb...of the stuff and of the house. Chuck it all as-is and move on. Be like Nike and "Just Do It!" Seems like you've analyzed and over-analyzed until you're suffering from *analysis paralysis*. If it means that you have to move to a location away from what you're used to, then embrace it. Heck, there very well might be a whole new life, a whole new adventure, out there with your name on it. 

Worried about running out of money? You're bound to run out of money if you keep pouring money into your house. I understand the attachment, really I do, but it's way past time to detach and start living the rest of your life. You can't turn back the clock.


----------



## Butterfly

Marie5656 said:


> Seems as if it may just need to go into the trash.  My husband had a lot of old family pictures.  I first asked his cousin and aunt if they wanted any, and both asked for a few of my husband, but otherwise told me to do what I wanted with them.  So, I saved out a few, and threw out the rest.  I know some of the "things" and nick knacks will go to the dumpster as well.  That is just the way it is.



I have a bunch of old photos that even I can't recognize who the people are in them.  It's on my to do list to go through those and find maybe a couple that are of my parents and just toss the rest of them.  My family doesn't have very many living members left and no one wants to mess with a mountain of old photos.  So out they go.


----------



## Liberty

GeorgiaXplant said:


> I wouldn't put one more red cent into repairs to a house that needs major work to bring it up to code. The more you post about things that need to be repaired/renovated, the more it sounds like a tear-down that's only worth the land it sits on. It's time to turn loose, Deb...of the stuff and of the house. Chuck it all as-is and move on. Be like Nike and "Just Do It!" Seems like you've analyzed and over-analyzed until you're suffering from *analysis paralysis*. If it means that you have to move to a location away from what you're used to, then embrace it. Heck, there very well might be a whole new life, a whole new adventure, out there with your name on it.
> 
> Worried about running out of money? You're bound to run out of money if you keep pouring money into your house. I understand the attachment, really I do, but it's way past time to detach and start living the rest of your life. You can't turn back the clock.


Good question, deb, like do you know the value of "just the land" and also of "the land and house in current condition"?


----------



## debodun

Liberty said:


> Good question, deb, like do you know the value of "just the land" and also of "the land and house in current condition"?


Nope!


----------



## debodun

Butterfly said:


> I have a bunch of old photos that even I can't recognize who the people are in them.  It's on my to do list to go through those and find maybe a couple that are of my parents and just toss the rest of them.  My family doesn't have very many living members left and no one wants to mess with a mountain of old photos.  So out they go.


 I have the exact same issue. Albums and boxes of old photos. Most of my relatives have passed on now and there's no one left to ask about unknown people in the pics. Also, I am the last member of my immediate family.  My father had one brother who never married or had kids. And I am an only child. Who's gonna be interested in these photos after I go?


----------



## Liberty

debodun said:


> Nope!


Ok, gal...perhaps its time to call a real estate agent.  They will be able to at least give you a rough idea of the valuation.
Also what does it say on the internet -for your county tax records - what do you pay taxes on?  They list the land and home value separately don't they? Also, you can check Zillow...they are sometimes pretty good.   Georgia is "spot on" - find that out.


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## GeorgiaXplant

Who's going to want those old photos? Nobody! If you have large photos or portraits...11x14 or larger of old-timey subjects/people, you can probably sell them to a restaurant like Cracker Barrel. Otherwise, trash 'em. Find a real estate appraiser who is certified by a professional organization and pay for an independent appraisal. Sell. Move on. Do this for yourself. Can you honestly say that your parents would not approve of your taking care of *you*? Do you really think they wouldn't want you to live a stress-free life in your eld? Yanno, like not worrying about/pouring your financial resources into a money pit? Hanging on to stuff that no longer has meaning? Trust me, once you've unloaded all the stuff, including the real estate, you're going to feel positively *liberated*!


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## debodun

Liberty said:


> Also what does it say on the internet -for your county tax records - what do you pay taxes on?


I did a little internet exploring and found our county tax site. According to that, the land value is $14,500 and full assessed value is $162,000.


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## GeorgiaXplant

Next, get an independent appraisal, and if the numbers are wildly different, go down to the county tax office and dispute the valuation.


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## debodun

I did that a few years ago. The appriaser valued it over $200,000. If I tell the tax offic ethat, they might raise my taxes.


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## GeorgiaXplant

in that case...LOL...list it as-is and be done with it!


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## Liberty

GeorgiaXplant said:


> in that case...LOL...list it as-is and be done with it!


Cool... go for it.  What have you got to lose, gal?!


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## debodun

I even contacted the mayor who I know has connections and asked if there were any good tree service contractors locally. The reply was "Paul Bunyan."

 I did also contacted my insurance agent. She gave me a name and number and said that he sub-contracts just about any type of work. Come to find out, this guy is the agent's husband, which she never mentioned when we communicated. He's supposed to come over on Saturday to look at what needs to be done. I don't know why this has my alarm bells ringing. Is this a conflict of interest for an insurance agent to get business for relatives?


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## Liberty

debodun said:


> I even contacted the mayor who I know has connections and asked if there were any good tree service contractors locally. The reply was "Paul Bunyan."
> 
> I did also contacted my insurance agent. She gave me a name and number and said that he sub-contracts just about any type of work. Come to find out, this guy is the agent's husband, which she never mentioned when we communicated. He's supposed to come over on Saturday to look at what needs to be done. I don't know why this has my alarm bells ringing. Is this a conflict of interest for an insurance agent to get business for relatives?


Well, I wouldn't think it would be illegal. Agree though, that she should of been up front with you. Its not like you wouldn't have found out anyway. See what kind of price he gives you...be sure to ask him if he's "bonded", in case of accidents.  Hey, just thought, if he's married to the insurance agent he probably is ...lol.


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## Butterfly

debodun said:


> I even contacted the mayor who I know has connections and asked if there were any good tree service contractors locally. The reply was "Paul Bunyan."
> 
> I did also contacted my insurance agent. She gave me a name and number and said that he sub-contracts just about any type of work. Come to find out, this guy is the agent's husband, which she never mentioned when we communicated. He's supposed to come over on Saturday to look at what needs to be done. I don't know why this has my alarm bells ringing. Is this a conflict of interest for an insurance agent to get business for relatives?



I don't think so -- you asked a question and she answered it.  It's not like she is coercing someone with a claim to use the services of her husband.  What's the harm in recommending him?  If somebody asks him about a good insurance agent, I bet he recommends her.


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## Aunt Bea

IMO if you are not submitting a claim to an insurance company that she represents it couldn't possibly be a conflict of interest.

The insurance agent's recommendation is better than the one that you got from the mayor so you seem to be making some progress.

Good luck!


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## StarSong

When I need a local contractor recommendation that I haven't been able to get from a neighbor, I ask the most prolific local realtor.  Good realtors help potential sellers in readying their homes for sale, so they make it their business to know which contractors do what, how well and reasonably they perform, if they're easy to work with, and if they're reliable.     

Of course, being able to ask this presupposes that you've developed at least a casually friendly relationship with a local realtor. It also morally obligates you to interview that realtor when you eventually list your home. Or at least it should.


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## debodun

StarSong said:


> When I need a local contractor recommendation that I haven't been able to get from a neighbor, I ask the most prolific local realtor.  Good realtors help potential sellers in readying their homes for sale, so they make it their business to know which contractors do what, how well and reasonably they perform, if they're easy to work with, and if they're reliable.



That's a good suggestion. There is one that I've worked with before on several occasions. Thanks.


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## debodun

Okay, I had a tree guy said he was going to come today between 9:30 ad 10:30 am. It is nor 3:30 pm and he hasn't shown up.


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## Liberty

debodun said:


> Okay, I had a tree guy said he was going to come today between 9:30 ad 10:30 am. It is nor 3:30 pm and he hasn't shown up.


Hear that a lot.  We live in an area when they say they will come they usually do come.  Can you call him?  Its Saturday...maybe he forgot what day it was - thinking it would be Monday when he'd come out?


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## debodun

Liberty said:


> Its Saturday...maybe he forgot what day it was - thinking it would be Monday when he'd come out?


He definitely mentioned Saturday. This is like the fifth contractor that was a no show. Does it look like I need tree service?


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## GeorgiaXplant

Whoa...yup! Down here when trees are growing into the power/phone lines, they'll come out and cut them down or at least trim them enough to not interfere. Can you call your power/phone company and ask them what to do?


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## Liberty

debodun said:


> He definitely mentioned Saturday. This is like the fifth contractor that was a no show. Does it look like I need tree service?
> 
> View attachment 74759


A lot of those trees look small.  Too bad hubby and I aren't near you.  We love projects and take out trees and trash trees of this normal chainsaw size and have a blast burning them on the marshmallow roasting for the kids burn piles.

Doesn't look like a big issue ...too bad you can't find some good neighborhood teenagers that want to make some money.  Assuming you have good home owner's insurance, of course...lol.  Have you tried asking nearby churches for any locals they might know? How about a landscaper service with a couple good chainsaws?  Tree people normally charge by the day around this area, to climb and cut huge trees, not those like in your pic. We'd send you our  goundsman guy but you live a long way away...lol.


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## debodun

Even if I could get some boys to do it, they's probably just cut the branches and leave them - then what an I suppoed to do with them? I need someone that can chip them up or haul them away. Some of these involve large branches.


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## Liberty

debodun said:


> Even if I could get some boys to do it, they's probably just cut the branches and leave them - then what an I suppoed to do with them? I need someone that can chip them up or haul them away. Some of these involve large branches.


You know, what is behind those trees, deb?  Is that the fence line?  Just wondered if you would be looking at someone else's property if you have the trees cut down...would the view be better or worse do you think?


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## debodun

It's not the view that concerns me - it's the danger and damage falling limbs create in a wind storm.


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## Liberty

debodun said:


> It's not the view that concerns me - it's the danger and damage falling limbs create in a wind storm.


Oh, understand...from the picture it looked like they were very far away from the house and might offer good privacy.


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## debodun

I have two huge maples in the backyard. One is close to the house and the other near the garage. A lot of foliage hanging over into the neighbors yard, too and probably scraping on their roof in the wind. The area in the photo I've outlined in a red box in this aerial view of my property.


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## Liberty

debodun said:


> I have two huge maples in the backyard. One is close to the house and the other near the garage. A lot of foliage hanging over into the neighbors yard, too and probably scraping on their roof in the wind. The area in the photo I've outlined in a red box in this aerial view of my property.
> 
> View attachment 74795


Yes, I see.  looks like you at least need to get them trimmed real well...lol.


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## Liberty

Liberty said:


> Yes, I see.  looks like you at least need to get them trimmed real well...lol.


Just happened to think...have you tried local handyman services?  A lot of those can also do trees.
If you have a "Nextdoor" group on your computer, you can check there.  Here's the link:https://nextdoor.com/city/rochester--ny/


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## debodun

I lookedthere and tried to sign up. They want too much personal info to even let you get started.


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## Liberty

debodun said:


> I lookedthere and tried to sign up. They want too much personal info to even let you get started.


Have you checked out the handyman services in your area? Some of them you can submit a request and they will give you 
a free quote.  This one has really good reviews:https://local.yahoo.com/info-356308...e trimming services&csz=Rochester, NY&fr=lsrp


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## debodun

It only found two and neither was very well rated.



I've just about exhausted the businesses around here. There are some I will not deal with and the ones I will seem to be so busy they can't return my calls or emails.


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## Liberty

debodun said:


> It only found two and neither was very well rated.
> 
> View attachment 74796
> 
> I've just about exhausted the businesses around here. There are some I will not deal with and the ones I will seem to be so busy they can't return my calls or emails.


Here's the website for the one called Chris's that was well rated:http://www.bestrochestertreeservice.com


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## debodun

Why are you posting info on the Rochester area? That's 250 miles away.


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## Liberty

debodun said:


> These are for the Rochester area.


Isn't that where you are?  If not, then where are you?


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## debodun

Stillwater, NY. There are limited business around here being a small town. I've just run out of options. If I can't get anyone local, who ya gonna call?


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## debodun

I just looked on the BBB site for tree service. There were a few listed.


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## Liberty

debodun said:


> Stillwater, NY. There are limited business around here being a small town. I've just run out of options. If I can't get anyone local, who ya gonna call?


Hey, I stand corrected... you aren't far from Albany, right?  A big vendor of ours is in Albany and I still talk to him.  I could ask him if you want me to...he might have a good suggestion.  Thinking Albany might be your best bet?


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## debodun

Albany is about 30 miles away. Don't knock yourself out or inconvenience anyone on my behalf. Thanks, though.


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## Liberty

debodun said:


> Albany is about 30 miles away. Don't knock yourself out or inconvenience anyone on my behalf. Thanks, though.


Did you look on Yelp, here?:https://www.yelp.com/search?cflt=treeservices&find_loc=Stillwater,+NY


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## Liberty

Liberty said:


> Did you look on Yelp, here?:https://www.yelp.com/search?cflt=treeservices&find_loc=Stillwater,+NY


I heard back from my friend in Albany this morning.  Here's what he said:

"That's the way it is with all services in this booming economy. I've had people come out to take measurements and then still never get back with a quote. They are all booked out for months. I'll tell you, after last night's storm here, that tree of hers either came down by itself, or the tree cutting services are going to be busier than ever.  I've never seen so much lightning and thunder, accompanied by high winds. Power went out for about 90 minutes."

"What's the lady's address?"

Doesn't sound too hopeful does it.  If you want his email address, send me a personal note (conversation) and I'll give it to you.
Hope you didn't have it too bad in what sounds like a bad storm in the area last night.  Sorry couldn't be of more help.


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## debodun

We had afternoon storms here Saturday and Sunday. A neighbor told me her TV has been out since Saturday. I just had some small twigs come down, knock wood (pun intended). This is what I am trying to avoid - having big branches come down more than I can handle or that damage neighbors properties. Three years aho a HUGE branch fell during a storm.Thankfully it didn't hit my house of the neighbors - it fell right along the property line far enough away from buildings. Took a tree guy several hours to clean it up and her charged me $800. Lets see who I can find on my own. Thanks for your help so far.


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## gennie

$800 ??  I would think that a neighbor with a chain saw and a wood burning fire place or stove would have probably paid you to take it.


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## Liberty

debodun said:


> We had afternoon storms here Saturday and Sunday. A neighbor told me her TV has been out since Saturday. I just had some small twigs come down, knock wood (pun intended). This is what I am trying to avoid - having big branches come down more than I can handle or that damage neighbors properties. Three years aho a HUGE branch fell during a storm.Thankfully it didn't hit my house of the neighbors - it fell right along the property line far enough away from buildings. Took a tree guy several hours to clean it up and her charged me $800. Lets see who I can find on my own. Thanks for your help so far.


Just heard from my friend Bernie in Albany again...he was thinking of you and said this was posted:

I just saw this company post in a local Facebook group I belong to taking quotes for tree services: https://www.facebook.com/DLGTreeCare/

They are about 35 minutes from Stillwater.


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## debodun

Thanks, Lib.


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## debodun

gennie said:


> $800 ??  I would think that a neighbor with a chain saw and a wood burning fire place or stove would have probably paid you to take it.


I tried. Only one person I know has a stove and he burns pellets, not wood. I also advertised on Craig's List and FB and no takers. Only one nibble and he wanted it cut and stacked.


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## debodun

Liberty said:


> I just saw this company post in a local Facebook group I belong to taking quotes for tree services: https://www.facebook.com/DLGTreeCare/


Sent them a PM. Waiting to hear back.


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## debodun

I found the photos I took of the branch that came down that cost me $800 to have removed from my property. It was about 40 feet long.

where it had been attached to the tree.


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## Liberty

debodun said:


> I found the photos I took of the branch that came down that cost me $800 to have removed from my property. It was about 40 feet long.View attachment 74886View attachment 74887
> 
> where it had been attached to the tree.
> 
> View attachment 74885


What really matters with a tree limb that's fallen is the "diameter of the trunk".  We've cut up so many 12-14" diameter big branches its silly. Showed your pics to my husband... he has cut up lots bigger than this.  Of course  they probably also had to stack it, chew it up and/or haul it away, right?


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## debodun

Liberty said:


> Of course  they probably also had to stack it, chew it up and/or haul it away, right?


Of course, what would I do with it otherwise? He brought in his chipper. It looked much larger in person that it does in the photo. I thought I could deal with it and went out with a handsaw. After sawing 10 minutes and getting hot and OOB and only getting about 3 inches into the wood, I gave up and called a tree guy. The same one I am trying to get now and he stood me up twice.


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## Marie5656

*My niece lives near Buffalo.  She has 10 Acres, and wanted to clear some trees out.  She contacted an area Amish community and they actually paid HER to chop the trees and take the wood, for lumber.  Of course, what goes around, comes around for them. She wanted to build a new garage and hired them for the job.  I was out the other day and they were out working. They have done a great job.  Since she lives too  far for them to come by carriage, with all their gear, they hire* *a driver who brings them out.  *


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## debodun

She's lucky to have them near her.


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## Liberty

debodun said:


> Of course, what would I do with it otherwise? He brought in his chipper. It looked much larger in person that it does in the photo. I thought I could deal with it and went out with a handsaw. After sawing 10 minutes and getting hot and OOB and only getting about 3 inches into the wood, I gave up and called a tree guy. The same one I am trying to get now and he stood me up twice.


Yeah, a hand saw sure won't do it.  We've got a trusty little electric chainsaw and gave the big gas one to our groundsman to use when needed.  With that said, we have two trees  - and I mean big ones - that need to come down and one half tree on the ground that needs to be cut up.  They don't need to do anything except push them a few yards into the bottom land though. That's a big help. Gotta do what you gotta do with trees.  Love 'em until you gotta "cut 'em".


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## Liberty

Marie5656 said:


> *My niece lives near Buffalo.  She has 10 Acres, and wanted to clear some trees out.  She contacted an area Amish community and they actually paid HER to chop the trees and take the wood, for lumber.  Of course, what goes around, comes around for them. She wanted to build a new garage and hired them for the job.  I was out the other day and they were out working. They have done a great job.  Since she lives too  far for them to come by carriage, with all their gear, they hire* *a driver who brings them out.  *


Now that's great Marie...we came from Ohio - a lot of Amish there, too.  None in Texas, darnit...lol.


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## retiredtraveler

debodun said:


> I found the photos I took of the branch that came down that cost me $800 to have removed from my property. It was about 40 feet long.



$800 for a branch???? There must be more to the story.


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## debodun

retiredtraveler said:


> $800 for a branch???? There must be more to the story.


He did bring his cherry picker and cut off the broken branch that was still attached to the tree, and his chipper, and two "helpers" that stood around and watched.


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## Liberty

debodun said:


> He did bring his cherry picker and cut off the broken branch that was still attached to the tree, and his chipper, and two "helpers" that stood around and watched.


That's often the issue with trees...they have to climb up with ropes and cut the branches off or as in your case, use equipment. As far as the two "helpers" that stood around and watched, must have been company hired relatives...lol.


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## debodun

Liberty said:


> As far as the two "helpers" that stood around and watched, must have been company hired relatives...lol.


I still have to pay for their time. Years ago, I had a plumber come to fix a leak in the bathroom sink drain. He determined he needed his helper and called him. Then we waited an hour for the helper to arrive. Meanwhile I am paying two guys for an hour of work (they charge time even for driving) and nothing is getting done. When the helper finally showed up, he just stood around and watched the first guy. The tree guys reminded me of this.


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## Liberty

debodun said:


> I still have to pay for their time. Years ago, I had a plumber come to fix a leak in the bathroom sink drain. He determined he needed his helper and called him. Then we waited an hour for the helper to arrive. Meanwhile I am paying two guys for an hour of work (they charge time even for driving) and nothing is getting done. When the helper finally showed up, he just stood around and watched the first guy. The tree guys reminded me of this.


We must be very lucky with our workmen.  In all the years we've never had an issue.  Thanks for telling me, deb.  I'll keep making cookies for them, only throw in some extras from now on!


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## OneEyedDiva

debodun said:


> I did a search there and with the criteria I chose, it came up with two places. One I already looked at and it's a dreary holding tank for people waiting to die. The other is too far away. I'd prefer to stay in the locale with which I am familiar. That is the crux of my whining - the places I can afford are just a 200 sq ft box and the nicer places are out of my price range. I'd like to still come out ahead at the end of the month.


So sorry you find yourself in this situation Deb!


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## debodun

I had another roofer that actually showed up and at the time he promised. However, he said he never puts anything on paper (i.e. written contract) and he only accepts cash. This has me a little wary of a handyman that doesn't want any paper trail.


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## JustBonee

debodun said:


> I found the photos I took of the branch that came down that cost me $800 to have removed from my property. It was about 40 feet long.
> 
> where it had been attached to the tree.



When I still had my house,   I  liked  to do some tree trimming on occasion.  But I found out quickly that what you think you are about to cut  and what is actually up there are two very different things.   _Very_ deceiving to the eye! ... When I was stuck with a bad situation once, I was lucky enough to get baled out by a neighbor. Never again ..   Always let the pros do it!


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## debodun




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## Liberty

debodun said:


> I had another roofer that actually showed up and at the time he promised. However, he said he never puts anything on paper (i.e. written contract) and he only accepts cash. This has me a little wary of a handyman that doesn't want any paper trail.


Guess its ok if you pay him "after the work is done".  Probably flying under the tax radar.  What about insurance in case he would get hurt or "whatever".


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## jerry old

Yea, it is bad, bad.
My house looks like one of those hoarder homes on tv.  If something falls in the floor it stays there.
We thought aging might effect our cognitive ability, not a lot of emphasize on our physical ability.
Now its a race to the bathroom, using two canes results in 'didn't make  it in time.'
Oh well, I have a washer:   Grrrr


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## RadishRose

Liberty said:


> Guess its ok if you pay him "after the work is done".  Probably flying under the tax radar.  What about insurance in case he would get hurt or "whatever".


I'd beware of him. He needs to be insured, needs to be licensed and is defrauding on his taxes, no contract? He messes up and you are burnt!


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## GeorgiaXplant

Not to mention that if he fell down and broke his crown, you'd probably be liable.


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## OneEyedDiva

Deb I'm going to ask you like I used to ask my husband..."where do you FIND these people?!"  I still remember the fiasco with your tax preparer. Don't let desperation cause you to deal with someone who doesn't want to put anything "on paper"!  There is something very wrong with that picture.  I hope you do follow the points made and advice others have given.


----------

