# Neighbor Insists I Get Another Cat



## debodun (Dec 26, 2019)

Several times since I had to have my 19 year old cat euthanized in November, a neighbor to whom I also deliver meals, has mentioned that she was anxious to take me to a local shelter so I can find another cat. Taking me to an animal shelter would be like bringing an alcoholic, who's trying to quit, to a liquor store.


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## Rosemarie (Dec 26, 2019)

Tell her to mind her own business!


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## Catlady (Dec 26, 2019)

debodun said:


> Several times since I had to have my 19 year old cat euthanized in November, a neighbor to whom I also deliver meals, has mentioned that she was anxious to take me to a local shelter so I can find another cat. *Taking me to an animal shelter would be like bringing an alcoholic who's trying to quit to a liquor store.*


Haha, I LOVE that, that's exactly how I would feel!  You do what YOU want, it's up to you.  Better not have a cat than get one and regret getting one.  When I get a pet, it's for life, and that is a BIG 12-20 year responsibility.


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## tortiecat (Dec 26, 2019)

Just tell her that you are not ready, and that when you are, you and only you will make the decision!


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## debodun (Dec 26, 2019)

Catlady said:


> Better not have a cat than get one and regret getting one.  When I get a pet, it's for life, and that is a BIG 12-20 year responsibility.



Amen to that!


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## Marie5656 (Dec 26, 2019)

*Really?  How rude.  You have already made the wise decision to take a wait and see attitude.  It is not like SHE would be taking on the financial or emotional responsibility for the cat.  
People need to mind thier own business sometimes*


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## Catlady (Dec 26, 2019)

Marie5656 said:


> *Really?  How rude.  You have already made the wise decision to take a wait and see attitude.  It is not like SHE would be taking on the financial or emotional responsibility for the cat.
> People need to mind thier own business sometimes*


I never mind my own business, but I FULLY agree with you anyway.


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## Keesha (Dec 26, 2019)

debodun said:


> Several times since I had to have my 19 year old cat euthanized in November, a neighbor to whom I also deliver meals, has mentioned that she was anxious to take me to a local shelter so I can find another cat. Taking me to an animal shelter would be like bringing an alcoholic, who's trying to quit, to a liquor store.


I completely understand where you are coming from. Going to a shelter would break me down something awful so not a good idea. Having said that,  I think the woman’s intention was good . She probably thinks another cat is the answer to all your problems right now but hasn’t thought the whole thing through.

So probably a good intention not quite thought all the way through. I could see myself easily  doing this. In fact I’m FAMOUS for offering unsolicited advice that people haven’t asked for. My intentions are most honourable; just badly executed.


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## oldmontana (Dec 26, 2019)

debodun said:


> Several times since I had to have my 19 year old cat euthanized in November, a neighbor to whom I also deliver meals, has mentioned that she was anxious to take me to a local shelter so I can find another cat. Taking me to an animal shelter would be like bringing an alcoholic, who's trying to quit, to a liquor store.


It's not up to her!


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## SeaBreeze (Dec 26, 2019)

Easy for people to give advice from a distance, people who would have no involvement in buying supplies, litter and food for the cat, cleaning up after the cat, providing vaccinations and medical care for the cat, grooming the cat, bringing the cat to and from appointments, etc., etc.  Deb, you know better than anyone all that was required in caring for your cat, and if you are willing and able to take on another pet at this time.  I think you'll do what is best, don't ever feel pressured from others to do anything where the work and responsibility is yours and yours alone.


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## Keesha (Dec 26, 2019)

debodun said:


> Several times since I had to have my 19 year old cat euthanized in November, a neighbor to whom I also deliver meals, has mentioned that she was anxious to take me to a local shelter so I can find another cat. Taking me to an animal shelter would be like bringing an alcoholic, who's trying to quit, to a liquor store.


From the answers on this thread, it appears like this woman is a horrible person. Maybe you should avoid her. Stop delivering meals to her. That’ll teach her to offer suggestions that you don’t like. LOL!!! People are strange.


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## SeaBreeze (Dec 26, 2019)

Keesha said:


> From the answers on this thread, it appears like this woman is a horrible person. Maybe you should avoid her. Stop delivering meals to her. That’ll teach her to offer suggestions that you don’t like. LOL!!! People are strange.


I don't think she's horrible.  I think she feels Deb needs company and wants the thrill of going with her to 'shop' around for a new kitty.  But Deb just needs to make her own decision, it's very personal really.


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## Keesha (Dec 26, 2019)

SeaBreeze said:


> I don't think she's horrible.  I think she feels Deb needs company and wants the thrill of going with her to 'shop' around for a new kitty.  But Deb just needs to make her own decision, it's very personal really.


Ok. I guess it could be interpreted that way. We don’t really know what the woman’s intentions are but it is ultimately up to Deb for certain. Perhaps Deb should tell the woman to stop suggesting this idea since she has no interest in going. If this has happened several times, maybe this woman isn’t getting the message she needs to hear. After all, communication is a two way street.


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## SeaBreeze (Dec 26, 2019)

Keesha said:


> Deb should tell the woman to stop suggesting this idea since she has no interest in going. If this has happened several times, maybe this woman isn’t getting the message she needs to hear. After all, communication is a two way street.


I agree, since it's happening repeatedly, Deb should tell her that she's not ready and really doesn't want to discuss it anymore.  Not sure if that would work if the woman who is having the meals delivered is elderly and sickly, maybe is just making conversation and taking advantage of a short visit with an outside friend.  She just may be lonely herself.


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## Keesha (Dec 26, 2019)

SeaBreeze said:


> I agree, since it's happening repeatedly, Deb should tell her that she's not ready and really doesn't want to discuss it anymore.  Not sure if that would work if the woman who is having the meals delivered is elderly and sickly, maybe is just making conversation and taking advantage of a short visit with an outside friend.  She just may be lonely herself.


This sounds reasonable. I agree. If she’s getting meals on wheels then perhaps she doesn’t really have her wits about her. My father thinks he’ soon will be able to play tennis again. Deb might be the only person she sees and could very well be lonely.

We don’t really know why people do or say things. For some reason I think this woman’s intentions were sincere even if they weren’t appreciated. 
( understandable also )

Look at us sleuthing detectives  Lol


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## gennie (Dec 26, 2019)

One of the advantages of being a fully functioning mature adult is the right to make our own decisions in matters such as this.  Tell her politely but firmly that you don't want to discuss it anymore.


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## terry123 (Dec 27, 2019)

Just deliver her meals and if she brings up the cat again just say not interested and be on your way. You do not owe her an explanation of any kind.


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## Gary O' (Dec 27, 2019)

debodun said:


> Several times since I had to have my 19 year old cat euthanized in November, a neighbor to whom I also deliver meals, has mentioned that she was anxious to take me to a local shelter so I can find another cat. Taking me to an animal shelter would be like bringing an alcoholic, who's trying to quit, to a liquor store.


I'd take her to the shelter


...and drop her off


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## Gardenlover (Dec 27, 2019)

Tell the neighbor to get a cat and you'll come visit it.


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## debodun (Dec 27, 2019)

I don't think she is a horrible person - I agree whith what others have mentioned - that she thinks she is doing me a favor. This may make HER feel good about trying to help me. Also, I have no say in whom I deliver meals to - if their name is on the delivery route schedule, I have to bring them a meal. In addition, she does have a cat - a big yellow and white one.


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## SeaBreeze (Dec 27, 2019)

debodun said:


> I don't think she is a horrible person - I agree whith what others have mentioned - that she thinks she is doing me a favor. This may make HER feel good about trying to help me. Also, I have no say in whom I deliver meals to - if their name is on the delivery route schedule, I have to bring them a meal. In addition, she does have a cat - a big yellow and white one.


That makes the most sense Deb, knowing that she has her own cat, she is probably a cat lover and suggesting you get another one is just done in kindness, thinking about your grief and you may be lonely.  Of course, nobody ever on a meal delivery list should be denied that important service, I don't think you would ever do that, even if you had the choice of who to deliver to.


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## Kaila (Dec 27, 2019)

I think she probably does have good intentions of some sort, and that she also might think it is a good shared interest for a conversation topic.

I would tell her you'd rather not talk about it anymore, and then, quickly suggest a different topic,
that you could say that you are more interested in....
such as, tell her you'd rather hear how her day is going, or something like that.
Or what she thinks of the weather today.... or some other topic you might ask her about, to get her onto something else to say.


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## Catlady (Dec 27, 2019)

Deb, I would probably be telling you to get another cat too, hoping you would be happy with one.  And, there's a lot of them in shelters needing a home.  But, after saying it once or twice, I would stop suggesting it.  She means well, so do like Kaila said, just say ''I don't want another cat'' and quikly change the subject.


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## Ruthanne (Dec 28, 2019)

Gardenlover said:


> Tell the neighbor to get a cat and you'll come visit it.


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## Catlady (Dec 28, 2019)

SeaBreeze said:


> That makes the most sense Deb, *knowing that she has her own cat, she is probably a cat lover *and suggesting you get another one is just done in kindness, thinking about your grief and you may be lonely.  Of course, nobody ever on a meal delivery list should be denied that important service, I don't think you would ever do that, even if you had the choice of who to deliver to.


You're not a true cat lover unless you have a few.    ❤


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## Gardenlover (Dec 28, 2019)

Catlady said:


> You're not a true cat lover unless you have a few.    ❤


I used to tell my mom she was one cat shy of being a crazy cat lady. She didn't find it humorous.


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## Knight (Dec 28, 2019)

debodun said:


> Several times since I had to have my 19 year old cat euthanized in November, a neighbor to whom I also deliver meals, has mentioned that she was anxious to take me to a local shelter so I can find another cat. Taking me to an animal shelter would be like bringing an alcoholic, who's trying to quit, to a liquor store.


I guess it depends on whether or not you think you will outlive a new pet.


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## Liberty (Dec 28, 2019)

Knight said:


> I guess it depends on whether or not you think you will outlive a new pet.


Or make sure your neighbor or someone else who is a cat lover would agree to take your cat if you checked out.
Having had cats for years, we still want  crazy paws in our home.  For us its better than a dog...a dog is too "needy" for our lifestyle.


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## Marlene (Dec 28, 2019)

I get a lot of unsolicited advice, and my usual reply is: it sounds like that is something that you need me to do.  I have no interest at all, but it might be helpful if you could figure out why you want me to do something I obviously don't want to do.


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## Catlady (Dec 28, 2019)

Gardenlover said:


> I used to tell my mom she was one cat shy of being a crazy cat lady. She didn't find it humorous.


You're new to this board so you don't know, I am the "queen of crazy cat ladies" and proud to be one.  I have 14.  I had adopted two kitten sisters and later on adopted 2 stray moms with baby kittens.  

What do you consider a ''crazy cat lady"?


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## Gardenlover (Dec 28, 2019)

Catlady said:


> You're new to this board so you don't know, I am the "queen of crazy cat ladies" and proud to be one.  I have 14.  I had adopted two kitten sisters and later on adopted 2 stray moms with baby kittens.
> 
> What do you consider a ''crazy cat lady"?


I heard the joke somewhere and would repeat it in jest, in order to stimulate a response from mom. She always had lots of animals and strays were always welcome with loving arms. At any point in time I really couldn't say how many cats she had, but there were always a bunch of them. She lived at the end of a dead end street in the country, so people where always dumping off animals they no longer wanted. Mom wouldn't even harm a spider or fly. She had a vacum device to capture them and then would let them go outside.

But back to your question, I liken it to potato chips - just one more, than just one more after that. I truly dislike labeling others and vice versa. I kinda figured you love cats - I'm kinda smart that way.


_Here is my back peddling, save my skin, defintion of a crazy cat lady - A woman who keeps free roaming bobcats, panthers, lions, and tigers as pets, in the same house. _


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## Liberty (Dec 28, 2019)

Gardenlover said:


> I heard the joke somewhere and would repeat it in jest, in order to stimulate a response from mom. She always had lots of animals and strays were always welcome with loving arms. At any point in time I really couldn't say how many cats she had, but there were always a bunch of them. She lived at the end of a dead end street in the country, so people where always dumping off animals they no longer wanted. Mom wouldn't even harm a spider or fly. She had a vacum device to capture them and then would let them go outside.
> 
> But back to your question, I liken it to potato chips - just one more, than just one more after that. I truly dislike labeling others and vice versa. I kinda figured you love cats - I'm kinda smart that way.
> View attachment 86027
> ...


Chicken!


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## Gardenlover (Dec 28, 2019)

Liberty said:


> Chicken!


How do you think I got to be so old?


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## debodun (Dec 28, 2019)

My mom was a cat hoarder. She had 11 at one time, mainly from taking in what she perceived as strays. Also when her mother went into assisted care, she took in her 2 cats. One had kittens (which were the two last ones to go, Adam in January 2016 and Gus in November 2019). At the time of mom's passing in 2006, she was down to 5. I made a deathbed promise that I would take care of them. Although I like cats perhaps more than any other animal, I just do not what that responsibility and expense any more at my age.


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## Keesha (Dec 28, 2019)

debodun said:


> My mom was a cat hoarder. She had 11 at one time, mainly from taking in what she perceived as strays. Also when her mother went into assisted care, she took in her 2 cats. One had kittens (which were the two last ones to go, Adam in January 2016 and Gus in November 2019). At the time of mom's passing in 2006, she was down to 5. I made a deathbed promise that I would take care of them. Although I like cats perhaps more than any other animal, I just do not what that responsibility and expense any more at my age.


Oh goodness. My parents were pet hoarders also. At one point they had 6 cats and 3 dogs. They problem with having so many cats is if you don’t clean their cat litter box enough, they start spraying ( peeing ) in other places in the house , which is what they did. They pee in our closets, on our clothes, in our shoes. It was really embarrassing having anyone over.

Oddly enough my husbands parents were the same way so the idea of more than one cat is most unappealing even if I love cats.


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## Catlady (Dec 28, 2019)

Gardenlover said:


> I heard the joke somewhere and would repeat it in jest, in order to stimulate a response from mom. She always had lots of animals and strays were always welcome with loving arms. At any point in time I really couldn't say how many cats she had, but there were always a bunch of them. She lived at the end of a dead end street in the country, so people where always dumping off animals they no longer wanted. Mom wouldn't even harm a spider or fly. She had a vacum device to capture them and then would let them go outside.
> 
> But back to your question, I liken it to potato chips - just one more, than just one more after that. I truly dislike labeling others and vice versa. I kinda figured you love cats - I'm kinda smart that way.
> View attachment 86027
> ...



Your mother and I would have been good friends, and YOU are a coward.  I was not going to hiss and scratch you no matter what you said.  I was expecting you to say 4 cats okay and then 5 cats makes you a ''crazy cat lady''. 

Cats are just drawn to me, maybe because I leave cat food and water in my back porch for the starving strays.  Right now I have two tomcats living in the back yard.  I have simply drawn the line at 14 indoor cats.

P.S. I love the image of the cat lady, I'm saving it.


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## Gardenlover (Dec 28, 2019)

Catlady said:


> ...Cats are just drawn to me, maybe because I leave cat food and water in my back porch for the starving strays.  Right now I have two tomcats living in the back yard.  I have simply drawn the line at 14 indoor cats.
> 
> P.S. I love the image of the cat lady, I'm saving it.



Well, if you left a leg of lamb out, instead of the catfood, you might just get your tiger. 

Glad you enjoy the image.


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## Liberty (Dec 29, 2019)

My "soul daughter" as I like to call her, lives about an hour north of us, its the Grimes county/Huntsville area, and they don't have much in the way of "feral cat shelters".  She has trapped and fixed 28 cats.  She has 3 inside - the rest are outside on her acreage.  Right now I'd like to borrow a couple to take care of these moles we've got on the property.  
Got more than a couple tunnels happening.  

Had an old alpha male cat named Pumpkin.  He used to dig a hole and then sit and sit, waiting for the mole to come out and he'd have lunch.  Somehow he knew if he dug a hole not far from the tunnel the mole would sense it and burrow that way!


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