# Bread Nazi



## debodun (Jul 18, 2015)

At the local Senior Center, the local supermarket donates day-old baked goods for anyone that wants them. There a sign over the bread table that says that the only limit is on sweets (doughnuts, cookies, pie cakes, etc.) and you can take up to two of those items. There is no limit on bread. 

Once in a while a woman comes in while I'm looking and seems to have appointed herself commandant of the bread table. If I pick up more than one item, she starts in with, "You shouldn't take more than one." She's even asked how many people I'm taking for and I've answered that's it's just for myself. She said that she gets items for other people and when I take more than my share, I'm depriving them. I've tried to ignore her and even pointed out the sign, but it doesn't seem to register with her. I just pick and hand carry what I want, but she brings a wheelie cart with her. 

The other day I had three items and she started in, "I don't think you should take that much." It just seemed to get to me and I snapped, "Yeah, but I got here FIRST!". Then she gave me a stink eye, but I didn't put my selections back on the table. Maybe she thinks I'm not a senior citizen (I admit I don't look my age) or thinks the bread is only for people that live at the center. I'm usually the first there because it's where I also pick up Meals-on-Wheels to deliver. 

I've already asked the management and they said I could take items. I wonder what her gripe is? Likely I grabbed something she had her eyes on. Any suggestions on how I should handle her?


----------



## Shalimar (Jul 18, 2015)

Debodun, it sounds to me like you are doing everything you can to deal appropriately with this woman. Perhaps she has entitlement issues around having first pick of items on the table, or she could just be a controlling individual. Regardless, I think your refusal to be intimidated by her attitude is the best way to deal with her. Most bullies will back down if the other person asserts themselves.


----------



## AZ Jim (Jul 18, 2015)

As dire as this situation is this is worse.

THE SOUP NAZI!!!!!!


----------



## QuickSilver (Jul 18, 2015)

AZ Jim said:


> As dire as this situation is this is worse.
> 
> THE SOUP NAZI!!!!!!



Hahaha..  No ZOOP for YOU!!!


----------



## Shalimar (Jul 18, 2015)

I think Debodun found the bread Nazi upsetting rather than amusing, otherwise why reach out to us for advise on how to handle this woman?


----------



## QuickSilver (Jul 18, 2015)

Oh sorry debodun...  slap her upside the head..............  Just kidding...  So long as you aren't doing anything wrong and the manager agrees...  how about just ignoring her..  works all the time...


----------



## AZ Jim (Jul 18, 2015)

Shalimar said:


> I think Debodun found the bread Nazi upsetting rather than amusing, otherwise why reach out to us for advise on how to handle this woman?



Why indeed?


----------



## RadishRose (Jul 18, 2015)

Deb, just ignore the lady. You're doing nothing wrong.


----------



## SeaBreeze (Jul 18, 2015)

You're not breaking any rules, I would reply to any of her questions to me that it's none of her business...period, no further excuses or explanations necessary for her.  I would take whatever I wanted, and not let he affect my choices at all.  You're an angel for delivering meals on wheels.


----------



## applecruncher (Jul 18, 2015)

You need to stop wondering what she is thinking. Since she is being so rude you should not even bother to reply and continue with what you are doing.


----------



## 3horsefarm (Jul 18, 2015)

Makes one wonder if she truly is picking up for others. I'd ask her to prove it.


----------



## applecruncher (Jul 18, 2015)

3horsefarm said:


> Makes one wonder if she truly is picking up for others. I'd ask her to prove it.



I respectfully disagree with this. I would not wonder, nor would I waste my time interacting and getting in an exchange with her.


----------



## jujube (Jul 18, 2015)

Tell her to "take it up with the management".  If she feels that everyone should only take one item, then she needs to express that belief to the folks in charge.  They can take it under consideration and either change the sign or ignore her.  In the meantime, ignore her......   Hark back to childhood when the answer would have been "YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!" and congratulate yourself that you're not a bitter, bossy old biddy like her.  There's enough of them already in the world.


----------



## 3horsefarm (Jul 18, 2015)

applecruncher said:


> I respectfully disagree with this. I would not wonder, nor would I waste my time interacting and getting in an exchange with her.



I suspect it WOULD back her off completely.


----------



## applecruncher (Jul 18, 2015)

3horsefarm said:


> I suspect it WOULD back her off completely.



We all can suspect, speculate, and wonder forever. And as far as a confrontation, what good would it do? How would it accomplish a resolution? Exchanges such as this usually don’t result in the person backing off – they usually escalate the situation. _At most_, I would look at her for a quick second and say "You're kidding, right?" and go on with what I was doing. But I still lean towards ignoring her. Save the big guns for more important battles...not for a bread pantry kerfluffle.
“Asking her to prove” whatever…? Come ON. :rofl1:


----------



## hollydolly (Jul 18, 2015)

I would completely ignore her as if she was completely invisible, like you didn't hear anyone speak or see anyone standing there.

I'm quite a past master at ignoring people that are rude and ignorant , I could give you lessons..


----------



## SifuPhil (Jul 18, 2015)

I would beat her severely about the head with a crusty loaf of French bread.


----------



## hollydolly (Jul 18, 2015)

SifuPhil said:


> I would beat her severely about the head with a crusty loaf of French bread.



Hahaha..PHIL..it sounds like she already IS a crusty old loaf...


----------



## Shalimar (Jul 18, 2015)

Phil, you are on a roll today. I am going to look for the Depends truck...


----------



## QuickSilver (Jul 18, 2015)

SifuPhil said:


> I would beat her severely about the head with a crusty loaf of French bread.



That was my original idea...


----------



## AZ Jim (Jul 18, 2015)

Shalimar said:


> Phil, you are on a roll today. I am going to look for the Depends truck...



I'll send 'em over he's parked out front of my place now.


----------



## applecruncher (Jul 18, 2015)

Nah, better to use it for dipping in some tasty au jus, Phil.


----------



## SifuPhil (Jul 18, 2015)

Shalimar said:


> Phil, you are on a roll today. I am going to look for the Depends truck...



On a roll and lightly buttered!



AZ Jim said:


> I'll send 'em over he's parked out front of my place now.



Maybe he'd scare the drug dealers away. 



applecruncher said:


> Nah, better to use it for dipping in some tasty au jus, Phil.



I was never a "dip-my-bread-in-gravy" type - dunno, maybe I was just never hungry enough, or being around family and friends that always called grease "gravy". :sour:


----------



## SifuPhil (Jul 18, 2015)

3horsefarm said:


> That DEPENDS................



... and is a bit TENA-tive ...


----------



## Shalimar (Jul 18, 2015)

3hf, help, flag down that truck stat! Lololololol!


----------



## SifuPhil (Jul 18, 2015)




----------



## Shalimar (Jul 18, 2015)

Awesome car, Phil!


----------



## AZ Jim (Jul 18, 2015)

What a great photo and that looks like a young Lawrence.


----------



## SifuPhil (Jul 18, 2015)

A good site about Welk that I found the picture on ... 

NDSU Libraries


----------



## AZ Jim (Jul 18, 2015)

SifuPhil said:


> A good site about Welk that I found the picture on ...
> 
> NDSU Libraries



Good find.


----------



## 3horsefarm (Jul 18, 2015)

My grandmother always wanted to dance with him...... Wish she had got the chance.


----------



## QuickSilver (Jul 18, 2015)

Oh Gawd....  I cannot stand his show... still haunting me in re-runs..   Forced to watch it every Saturday evening in my youth.. until I got old enough to escape!


----------



## Cookie (Jul 18, 2015)

Not my cuppa either -- seemed more suitable for my parents' generation.  Of course I was too young, preferring folk, rock and jazz. There was a similar show here, 'Guy Lombardo', we changed the channel when it came on. My mom preferred Perry Como.


----------



## tnthomas (Jul 18, 2015)

P.S. I'm fond of the soup nazi image, I have used it as an avatar on various forums.


----------



## Susie (Jul 18, 2015)

A sorry indictment of today's conditions: Fighting over day old bread, cake, and biscuits.
Still fresh in memory how grateful we were for day old bread while still in the U.S.
Day old bread also available in Australia.
So grateful we've been able to buy fresh everything since immigrating.


----------



## Susie (Jul 18, 2015)

QuickS thru ilver said:


> Hahaha..  No ZOOP for YOU!!!


Ja, that's vat vee hatt thru the entire var: Zoop (carrots and potatoes if we were lucky)and black bred (very gritty--sand?)


----------



## Cookie (Jul 18, 2015)

Our supermarket offers end of day bread, after 6 pm, packaged in large plastic bags for $1 each. A very good deal.


----------



## Susie (Jul 18, 2015)

tnthomas said:


> View attachment 19618
> 
> P.S. I'm fond of the soup nazi image, I have used it as an avatar on various forums.


Flawed metaphor: Nazis provided "Zoop" and "Bred" for everyone; sadly there was never enough!!!


----------



## Susie (Jul 18, 2015)

SifuPhil said:


> A good site about Welk that I found the picture on ...
> 
> NDSU Libraries


Thank you for the L.W. site, used to love the show, longed to join the dancing party in LA., but never allowed by  ex.


----------



## QuickSilver (Jul 18, 2015)

Susie said:


> Flawed metaphor: Nazis provided "Zoop" and "Bred" for everyone; sadly there was never enough!!!



Zoop und bret..    Gotta talk like a real duetschfederber


----------



## ndynt (Jul 18, 2015)

I have encountered these behaviors in many senior settings.  Exercise groups, classes for seniors, senior centers. I have come to the conclusion that many seniors become territorial  because we _lose control_ of what's happening to us, and our lives have become controlled by fate.  So some need to retain some semblance of control by controlling everything around them. I too have a hard time dealing with people like this and find just ignoring them is the only recourse.


----------



## SeaBreeze (Jul 18, 2015)

Good point Nona, I've noticed that too with some seniors...I agree.


----------



## Butterfly (Jul 18, 2015)

QuickSilver said:


> Oh Gawd....  I cannot stand his show... still haunting me in re-runs..   Forced to watch it every Saturday evening in my youth.. until I got old enough to escape!



I was doomed to watch it as a kid, also.  I probably have PTSD as a result of Lawrence Welk!!!


----------



## Shalimar (Jul 18, 2015)

Butterfly, I hear you! If not PTSD, then certainly Diabetes! If you wish I will offer free online PTSD  counseling to all victims of the Lawrence Welk Trauma! Lol.


----------



## SifuPhil (Jul 18, 2015)

Seems like I've lost my dance partner ... oh, well, I'll just play with the bubbles.


----------



## hollydolly (Jul 19, 2015)

SeaBreeze said:


> Good point Nona, I've noticed that too with some seniors...I agree.



...and me three SB .  Many seniors do feel they have to be in control in many different genres, in the RW and virtually ...and I never thought about it before Nona but I believe you're right , it's probably as you say due to the possibility that  they have lost the right of control in their own lives and probably their own homes , so they feel they can attempt to  control others.


----------



## Shalimar (Jul 19, 2015)

I concur, SeaBreeze, Nona, and Holly.This need to control often wreaks havoc in their familial/social relationships. Sadly, many of these seniors become lonely prisoners of their own gravity. Too toxic for others to be around.


----------



## Ameriscot (Jul 19, 2015)

Totally ignore the bread nazi.  I'd be tempted to knock her upside the head with a loaf of bread, but I don't advise that.


----------



## hollydolly (Jul 19, 2015)

I'm kind of perplexed here isn't this supposed to be some advice  to the Op on how to deal with someone in a supermarket?...how did it get to personal attacks? :dunno:


----------



## Ameriscot (Jul 19, 2015)

ndynt said:


> I have encountered these behaviors in many senior settings.  Exercise groups, classes for seniors, senior centers. I have come to the conclusion that many seniors become territorial  because we _lose control_ of what's happening to us, and our lives have become controlled by fate.  So some need to retain some semblance of control by controlling everything around them. I too have a hard time dealing with people like this and find just ignoring them is the only recourse.



The first time my sister went to a new exercise class, she picked a spot with her mat, etc. in this very big room.  A lady came in and told her to move as she was in HER spot!  And this was a seniors class.


----------



## ndynt (Jul 19, 2015)

Ameriscot said:


> The first time my sister went to a new exercise class, she picked a spot with her mat, etc. in this very big room.  A lady came in and told her to move as she was in HER spot!  And this was a seniors class.


  Exactly...and there are always a couple that tell you that you are doing something the wrong way or need to ... Feel like telling them to get a life.  But, thankfully they are in the minority.  Still it makes me avoid senior group things.  Except for this forum of course.  Do not agree or feel comfortable with someone or something...just read something else :bigwink:


----------



## Shalimar (Jul 19, 2015)

Nona, I have found many middle-aged people with the same attitude also. Probably one reason I avoid group things for the most part, regardless of the age of the people involved. Except for poetry of course. We poets are all quite mad, and very tolerant (oblivious) of each other's eccentricities. Lol.


----------



## Ameriscot (Jul 19, 2015)

True Nona and Shali.  Some people are right about _everything_ and need to prove it by pointing out everyone else's flaws.


----------



## SeaBreeze (Jul 19, 2015)

hollydolly said:


> I'm kind of perplexed here isn't this supposed to be some advice  to the Op on how to deal with someone in a supermarket?...how did it get to personal attacks? :dunno:



Hollydolly, the personal attacks on this thread are gone, Debodun wanted feedback on a controlling woman at her church.  Back to the original topic, I agree with Nona that some seniors can try to control the lives of others if they feel they are losing control over their own.  My mother in law was very controlling, and wanted people to do everything her way.  It was difficult because she was a good woman and was slowly losing her health and power over the things in her life.  Mostly affected were my husband, my father in law and myself.  We dealt with her in a kind way, and sometimes had to explain to her that decisions were ours to make, although we appreciated her input.  Likely the same way with the lady Debodun is dealing with.


----------



## hollydolly (Jul 19, 2015)

Ameriscot said:


> The first time my sister went to a new exercise class, she picked a spot with her mat, etc. in this very big room.  A lady came in and told her to move as she was in HER spot!  And this was a seniors class.




Oh I've experienced that type of thing too Annie. I remember years ago when village pubs were generally just where locals gathered to drink, and often if you visited a pub in a different village or even small town, and sat down you'd  get the silent treatment (like in the film 'American werewolf in London'' when the 2 American guys entered the Slaughtered Lamb and the whole place fell silent at the nerve of these strangers coming into the pub..)...and then after a few minutes of staring someone would pipe up in a grim admonishing  voice ''you're sitting in Bills' seat''


----------



## hollydolly (Jul 19, 2015)

Thanks SB...I thought it was a supermarket..but yes much better for everyone without the PA's...


----------



## ndynt (Jul 19, 2015)

Debodun, something to block her voice out?  I use that tatic at times, listen to NPR.so people will not talk to me.   Think the consensus is, since you have tried to explain/reason with her, just ignore her ???


----------



## Ameriscot (Jul 19, 2015)

ndynt said:


> Debodun, something to block her voice out?  I use that tatic at times, listen to NPR.so people will not talk to me.   Think the consensus is, since you have tried to explain/reason with her, just ignore her ???



That would be a good idea.  Wear headphones and listen to, or pretend to be listening to something. Of course, there are many people who will speak to you even though you obviously can't hear them due to earpods.  I get that at the gym all the time with the seniors who don't use earpods.


----------



## applecruncher (Jul 19, 2015)

Nona, but then she would tap on shoulder.


----------



## Rocky (Jul 19, 2015)

ndynt said:


> I have encountered these behaviors in many senior settings.  Exercise groups, classes for seniors, senior centers. I have come to the conclusion that many seniors become territorial  because we _lose control_ of what's happening to us, and our lives have become controlled by fate.  So some need to retain some semblance of control by controlling everything around them. I too have a hard time dealing with people like this and find just ignoring them is the only recourse.



_Precisely!  I'd noticed this, to a degree, in Senior Activity Centers.  But then I made the mistake of moving in to a new "over-50" apartment complex ... all sorts of goodies within the complex ... beautifully appointed, etc.  Soon one finds out that the gossip and cliques inside senior complexes are every bit as mean-spirited and nasty as the gossip and cliques of teen-agers.  I've pretty much passed on any of the "doings" here other than a few close neighbors.  It's sad, really._


----------



## QuickSilver (Jul 19, 2015)

Let's face it...  If people are nasty, self centered, egotistical when the are young.. they will be that way when they are old too.  People are people.  Don't know why anyone is surprised..  In reality, there are very few "sweet little old ladies or men out there".


----------



## Ameriscot (Jul 19, 2015)

QuickSilver said:


> Let's face it...  If people are nasty, self centered, egotistical when the are young.. they will be that way when they are old too.  People are people.  Don't know why anyone is surprised..  In reality, there are very few "sweet little old ladies or men out there".



My last job before I retired was working with the elderly.  Most were Scottish, some were English.  I'd say 90% of them were sweet, the women more than the men.  

One of my favourite relatives was a great aunt who never married, and was always so laid back.  She always said 'don't worry about it' and very little was a big deal or anything to get angry about.  She was always humming.


----------



## Shalimar (Jul 19, 2015)

Annie my experience pretty much mirrors yours, until I moved into the Tombs. But I think the atmosphere here has more to do with the "inmates" being strait laced than anything age related. I am certain they were every bit as intolerant when they were younger.  Just the luck of the draw really. Other friends live in complexes where the owners are much less uptight. Most older people are lovely.


----------



## Ameriscot (Jul 19, 2015)

Shalimar said:


> Annie my experience pretty much mirrors yours, until I moved into the Tombs. But I think the atmosphere here has more to do with the "inmates" being strait laced than anything age related. I am certain they were every bit as intolerant when they were younger.  Just the luck of the draw really. Other friends live in complexes where the owners are much less uptight. Most older people are lovely.



I think the majority of older folks are lovely.  I love riding the bus here where most are on their OAP (over 60) bus pass.  Lots of laughter always, even when they complain they laugh about it.


----------



## ndynt (Jul 19, 2015)

applecruncher said:


> Nona, but then she would tap on shoulder.


 I have dealt with that ac...Shrug my shoulders and point at my ears LOL.  No one has dared to tell me to take off my ear phones.  Prably think they had better leave this crazy old lady alone?:why:


----------



## Ameriscot (Jul 19, 2015)

ndynt said:


> I have dealt with that ac...Shrug my shoulders and point at my ears LOL.  No one has dared to tell me to take off my ear phones.  Prably think they had better leave this crazy old lady alone?:why:



Haha!  Aye, never let them bully you!


----------



## hollydolly (Jul 19, 2015)

Ameriscot said:


> Haha!  Aye, never let them bully you!



Yup totally agree..


----------



## Bullie76 (Jul 19, 2015)

Seinfeld had another episode pretty funny and somewhat related.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AhaQZau4iTA


----------



## ndynt (Jul 19, 2015)

Ameriscot said:


> My last job before I retired was working with the elderly.  Most were Scottish, some were English.  I'd say 90% of them were sweet, the women more than the men.
> 
> One of my favourite relatives was a great aunt who never married, and was always so laid back.  She always said 'don't worry about it' and very little was a big deal or anything to get angry about.  She was always humming.


I had the same experiences, when I worked, Annie.  Maybe the ones that accepted anyone coming into their homes were different?  Though I did have one Admiral's wife that made me come in the servant's entrance and tried to orchestrate how I gave her the daily IV push. She even had me comb my footprints out of the carpet as I worked my way out LOL.  I used to play with her...answering everything she said with a drawly "yes maaam".  I was so apprehensive when her husband walked into the room one day.   He did not say anything, but winked at me as I left LOL....


----------



## Ameriscot (Jul 19, 2015)

ndynt said:


> I had the same experiences, when I worked, Annie.  Maybe the ones that accepted anyone coming into their homes were different?  Though I did have one Admiral's wife that made me come in the servant's entrance and tried to orchestrate how I gave her the daily IV push. She even had me comb my footprints out of the carpet as I worked my way out LOL.  I used to play with her...answering everything she said with a drawly "yes maaam".  I was so apprehensive when her husband walked into the room one day.   He did not say anything, but winked at me as I left LOL....



I worked for an agency and had clients who were in sheltered housing.  They wanted to be independent but needed someone on site if they needed help.  Some were eligible for carers like me to help them with certain things they couldn't do or to take them shopping, etc.  I was more companionship than carer.  Nobody with dementia, although some had the beginnings of it.  I just loved to hear about life in Scotland decades ago!  

One client was just lovely and so interesting.  She was 93 when she first became my client.  But as her sight and hearing went she became harder and harder to deal with and very demanding.  She was frustrated that she couldn't understand everything being said and refused to get a hearing aid.


----------



## ndynt (Jul 19, 2015)

Ameriscot said:


> I worked for an agency and had clients who were in sheltered housing.  They wanted to be independent but needed someone on site if they needed help.  Some were eligible for carers like me to help them with certain things they couldn't do or to take them shopping, etc.  I was more companionship than carer.  Nobody with dementia, although some had the beginnings of it.  I just loved to hear about life in Scotland decades ago!
> 
> One client was just lovely and so interesting.  She was 93 when she first became my client.  But as her sight and hearing went she became harder and harder to deal with and very demanding.  She was frustrated that she couldn't understand everything being said and refutsed to get a hearing aid.


A classic example of losing control of life, is it not Annie?   I too so loved listening to my patients reminisce.  Learned so much. They were a joy.  Now here I am....old too.  Thought I would get older, but never old 
:crying:


----------



## tnthomas (Jul 19, 2015)

Susie said:


> Flawed metaphor: Nazis provided "Zoop" and "Bred" for everyone; sadly there was never enough!!!



Sorry, I got a "D" in high school history....:shrug:


----------



## QuickSilver (Jul 19, 2015)

Ameriscot said:


> I think the majority of older folks are lovely.  I love riding the bus here where most are on their OAP (over 60) bus pass.  Lots of laughter always, even when they complain they laugh about it.




Perhaps the older folks YOU have dealt with were "lovely" because they were relatively healthy...  My experience is quite different working in hospitals..  Not so "lovely" there..


----------



## Ameriscot (Jul 19, 2015)

ndynt said:


> A classic example of losing control of life, is it not Annie?   I too so loved listening to my patients reminisce.  Learned so much. They were a joy.  Now here I am....old too.  Thought I would get older, but never old
> :crying:




Understandable.  I wouldn't react well if I could no longer do every activity I want and be fit.  I get very frustrated with my memory and I worry about dementia.  I can easily see how those with dementia can often get angry.


----------



## Ameriscot (Jul 19, 2015)

QuickSilver said:


> Perhaps the older folks YOU have dealt with were "lovely" because they were relatively healthy...  My experience is quite different working in hospitals..  Not so "lovely" there..



How many are lovely when in a hospital anyway, no matter what their age?


----------



## Kadee (Jul 19, 2015)

I worked as a carer of disabled people for 25 years, I retired when I was 65 , While working for a company who picked up disabled people from group homes. We attended various activities at community centres ,while at the centres people would come on to collect bread donated by Bakers Delight, many took more than than needed, hard to say if it's down right greed or collecting for others ....I have seen the same thing in Adelaide where we sometimes go for a daytime dance ...( the venue is a community centre)  I have taken a large box of lemons, or other fruits when on season ..and people tend to take more than what I think is their fair share ....


----------



## mitchezz (Jul 19, 2015)

People can be PITAS no matter what their age.

Let the tyres on her wheelie cart down or if you're law abiding just ignore her. She most likely has a problem with someone wherever she goes.


----------



## Butterfly (Jul 19, 2015)

The church I used to go to had one of those "ladies" like the OP describes, only maybe worse.  She was incredibly toxic and thought she had the right to run everything.  She (and another much like her) was the major reason I left that congregation.  To bad --she was driving people away in droves.


----------



## oakapple (Jul 20, 2015)

Pretend to be deaf?Failing that, say you have cleared what you take with the Management.


----------



## SeaBreeze (Jul 20, 2015)

QuickSilver said:


> Perhaps the older folks YOU have dealt with were "lovely" because they were relatively healthy...  My experience is quite different working in hospitals..  Not so "lovely" there..



Reminds me of this old thread and related poem.  https://www.seniorforums.com/showth...re-Really-Nice-People?highlight=crabbit+woman


----------

