# Writing a Will



## silverback5 (Mar 20, 2012)

I have never written a will in my life. I suppose I'm a little superstitious but I've always felt that if I avoided writing a will, the universe would be less likely to do me in. I suppose it's something I need to start thinking about. 

My lawyer has offered me his services in writing it but I think I'll save the money and just do it myself. Maybe I'll shoot a video of myself doing it so that my family can see me from beyond the grave. Mwa ha ha. 

I just feel afraid to make a will. I know this is irrational but I can't help myself. Does anyone else feel this way about wills, or am I just being a big baby?


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## SeaBreeze (Mar 20, 2012)

We made up a will years ago when we were younger, with a lawyer.  We really need to update it, in case we both die at the same time.  I don't want any of my money or property to go to the state or government, that's for sure!  There's sites online that will walk you through this, for a fraction of the price of a lawyer, but I'm not sure how they work, or how secure and legit they are.


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## Buster'sGrandad (Mar 21, 2012)

On the one hand I hate having to think about these kinds of things, but on the other hand there's comfort knowing that there will be no misunderstanding after we're gone. 

I trust my kids not to fight over money, but I also wanted to put down in writing the things I want to do for my grandson and two other people who have been important to us. A will provides clarity, I think. Put me down as pro-will!


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## Bill.K (Mar 21, 2012)

I think that it is important, choose how you want your belongings to get divided, who would enjoy what most. Also it takes another thing off their mind, one less thing to do and they can take comfort that they are sure that your final wishes are followed through with.


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## ccohoe (Mar 22, 2012)

I would recommend a lawyer. I have an airtight will. There is no room for interpretation. The last thing i want is my family fighting or dispusting what i've left behind.


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## overthehill (Mar 24, 2012)

I feel the same way.Ive always thought that if I made a will,then I would be doomed for sure.I know exactly what you feel.Do you think it is of great importance to do it now or is someone suggesting you make a will ? That should be something you and your spouse decide on.


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## Tisame (Mar 26, 2012)

It's natural to feel a little scared about it, mainly because part of doing it is accepting your mortality and the fact you are going to die one day, also writing about how your possessions are going to be distributed is never a nice task


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## Amethyst1 (Mar 25, 2013)

A will is usually a good idea, especially if you own much property, like a house or condo, valuable stuff
A Living Will is also important, to have someone look after you and make decisions if you are
incapablem in a coma, or? Never mind the superstition and do it. Lawyers will charge you for changing
it later. Get a lawyer who specializes in this and who really know the state laws.


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## SifuPhil (Mar 25, 2013)

One of the advantages of being a minimalist - there's nothing for anyone to fight over. 

Now a _living_ will might be something different, but so far I haven't made one. I like to think that I can take care of the end when it comes, but I also realize that there are situations one can get into that make such measures all but impossible.

I don't _fear_ making a will - in my particular case it just isn't something that is of a high priority.


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## rkunsaw (Mar 26, 2013)

We had a lawyer make our will several years ago. The will leaves everything to the living spouse first and the children don't get anything until we are both dead. I have an insurance policy that goes to the estate so that money will also be divided according to the will.
We gave each of our combined children a copy so they all know what to expect.


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## FishWisher (Mar 26, 2013)

A living will has to do with making clear your medical decisions. A will is to distribute property to beneficiaries, etc. but is more subject to winding up in probate than is a trust.

A trust would more likely avoid probate. Check this out: http://www.legalzoom.com/wills-estate-planning/summary-compare-wills.html

We've had experience with trusts. They are very good for families that can get along and work together. But no matter the intent of the departed, a squabbling family can bleed away much of the value of an estate by running to lawyers for every little thing. Our family, who gets along very well, has administered two trusts - actually Wifey administered them. One estate was quite large and involved the sale of lots of personal property, a lovely home along with IRAs, stocks, annuities, etc. Even so, very little went to lawyers and the accountant and the harmony in the family contributed greatly to that.

We advised family members that if they wanted to retain a lawyer for any reason, or to contact the estate's lawyer, it would be on their dime. None did anyway, but it protected the estate in such an event. The family has to trust the executors or trustees. To maintain harmony we sent out an email to the heirs on a regular basis to keep them posted on the administration and that kept everyone informed. 

One the other hand, a friend's family went through a similar situation, and the administrator was clueless. She didn't defend the estate but let every and any family member contact the estate lawyer and they bled away much of the estate unnecessarily as they fought among themselves. It was a sad and costly way to administer the estate.

We won't have to deal with such things as once I learned we can't take it with us, I have chosen not to go!


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## rkunsaw (Mar 26, 2013)

There is a provision in our will that anyone who challenges the will because they think they were mistakenly left out will get one dollar.


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## SifuPhil (Mar 26, 2013)

FishWisher said:


> A living will has to do with making clear your medical decisions. A will is to distribute property to beneficiaries, etc. but is more subject to winding up in probate than is a trust.



... and a living will is more likely to be either totally disregarded (often because it was set up wrong) or because the medical professionals involved refuse to follow the rules.




> We've had experience with trusts ...



As unfortunately have I ... my two elderly aunts had $300k in trust for me. When they passed the nursing home ended up with everything, because the senile lawyer that my aunts had trusted their entire lives dropped the ball and left one of his "i"'s un-dotted. 



> We won't have to deal with such things as once I learned we can't take it with us, I have chosen not to go!



 That's my plan as well!


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## TICA (Mar 27, 2013)

I've had a will for years.  When a family member dies, it is hard enough to deal with.  Having a will helps the remaining people know what you want.  Do it!!!!!


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## SeaBreeze (Jul 24, 2018)

Ten steps to writing a will, full article here.  



> While you may be inclined to put off thinking about your  mortality, taking the time to prepare a well-written document that  indicates how you would like your possessions and assets to be  distributed after you die is key to avoiding strife among loved ones.
> 
> And though you're acknowledging you won't live forever by drawing up a will, leaving behind a record of how you want your personal belongings and money to be allocated is important.
> 
> ...


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## mathjak107 (Jul 25, 2018)

would never attempt to to my own will ,poa or health proxy . i have already hit two badly constructed documents that caused us so much grief and expense to deal with .  the wording is so important and for your heirs there are no do overs when things do not  comply .

my feeling is there is no such thing as a simple will in most states.

i firmly believe when it comes to this stuff with no do overs allowed do not use internet canned documents , see a specialist.

i have dealt with one defective will and 1 defective trust already in my lifetime.

much of what protects your wishes is not even in the documents. it is protocol and is the questions asked at the signing in front of witnesses.

state laws change on the fly . we had a co-worker hit a snag because the internet form used was not the new statutory form required as mentioned below.

we hit a snag on the refinance of a house we inherited through a simple will.

it read i leave my house and possessions to my child beth.

the title company stopped the refinance since a word was missing. that word was ONLY " as in only child.

well i had to pay all the attorneys for the day and lost my rate while we got affidavits there were no other children.

we had a court rule a trust defective as well as it lacked a sentence relating to predeceasing the parents.


as the judge told us , it is clear what the intentions were but he cannot re-write history or add missing words.

as one well known estate attorney said in his newsletter 




some of the issues those who use canned documents in our state ,ny run in to are :

Preparing and executing a valid health care proxy provides a good illustration. The health care proxy is a document that allows an individual (the “principal”) to appoint an agent to make health care decisions in case he/she becomes incapacitated. The main purpose of the health care proxy is to appoint an agent. There is a presumption that the agent knows the principal’s wishes. Nonetheless, according to New York State case law, if a principal’s wishes regarding the withholding of artificial nutrition and hydration are not articulated, an agent will not be able to make such decision. Based on this case law, it is imperative for the principal to set forth his/her wishes regarding the administering of artificial nutrition and hydration either in the actual health care proxy or in a separate living will. Failure to do this can result in unforeseen consequences – which is exactly what the principal was trying to avoid in the first place. Secondly, many individuals erroneously believe that they can appoint more than one agent at a time on a health care proxy. This would make the document faulty because only one agent at a time can make medical decisions. A person drafting a health care proxy can add language to avoid insulting other family members, but again- this requires the help of someone with experience. Finally, the document must be witnessed by two individuals in order for it to be validly recognized. A person should not have his agent, spouse or child be a witness to the signing.

We see even more problems in the area of powers of attorney. The main thrust of a power of attorney is to appoint an agent to act on an individual’s behalf with respect to financial matters in case such individual becomes incapacitated. Many people innocently refer to this document as one that is “simple” to prepare. This could not be further from the truth. Firstly, New York State passed legislation effective September 2009 in an attempt to create a statutory form that would be uniformly accepted. This legislation was the result of tremendous abuse that was found in this particular area, with some appointed agents taking advantage of the disabled and elderly.

The new power of attorney law results in a much lengthier document, and significantly restricts the actual power given to the agent over financial matters. If transfers are to be made on behalf of the principal, a separate gift rider must be executed. The gift rider must specifically articulate the agent’s power to make gifts to himself/herself or to third parties. Further, any additional powers beyond those enumerated in the statute, must be added to a modification section. Finally, while the law mandates banks, brokerage houses and other financial institutions to recognize the power of attorney, the form utilized must be statutory. Accordingly, if someone decides to cut corners and download a form from the internet, this may result in a tremendous disservice because if the form is not statutory, it does not have to be legally recognized. The power of attorney is an extremely important tool for estate and elder law practitioner. If the principal incorrectly drafts and/or executes this form, his/her ultimate plans regarding Medicaid eligibility or gifting to loved ones could be completely stymied. It is imperative to have this document prepared by an experienced practitioner.

A last will and testament is yet another document that must be prepared under the supervision of any experienced attorney. After the person who executed the will dies (the “decedent”), the will gets admitted to probate through surrogate’s court so that the decedent’s wishes can ultimately be fulfilled. Through the probate process, the will is reviewed and the court checks to make sure the will was drafted and executed properly. The number of witnesses, the affidavit they sign and the way the will is fastened are some examples of what the court reviews. Any mistakes, such as the removal of a staple or an ambiguous bequest can result in unnecessary delays, costly legal fees, and at worse, an inability to complete the probate process.


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## debbie in seattle (Jul 25, 2018)

We have a family trust.   Difference between a will and family trust is you pay for the trust up front and a will later.    Glad we did our family trust.


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## Aunt Bea (Jul 25, 2018)

I'm ok with a simple will.

The majority of my financial assets have beneficiaries or pay on death clauses and my actual estate should be small enough, under $30,000.00, to only require a small estate summary administration form.

I actually won't know until it's too late and then it won't matter, LOL!


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## mathjak107 (Jul 25, 2018)

keep in mind ,everyone thinks will construction does not matter much because they have little. but they fail to realize their estate can be flooded with money from a wrongful death , malpractice or accident award after they are gone . we know people now where the grown  kids have a real mess on their hands when their parents were killed by a drunk driver


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## Aunt Bea (Jul 25, 2018)

mathjak107 said:


> keep in mind ,everyone thinks will construction does not matter much because they have little. but they fail to realize their estate can be flooded with money from a wrongful death , malpractice or accident award after they are gone . we know people now where the grown kids have a real mess on their hands when their parents were killed by a drunk driver



That is an excellent point that I had not considered!

I doubt it will happen in my case because I have no close relatives that would file such a claim or champion such a cause. 

If that day does come I'll let a judge do a little rough justice to divide things up using my simple little will as a guide.

I sincerely hope that my death isn't any more complicated than my life has been, LOL!!!


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## Rich29 (Jul 26, 2018)

Today just met with our attorney to review our updated simple will, durable power of attorney and health care power of attorney. Because we have a blended
family it was worth it to have all those nuances worked out and documented.


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## Don M. (Jul 26, 2018)

We made our Wills, Living Wills, Medical Powers of Attorney, etc., several years ago....with an Attorney.  We've updated them a couple of times as the family has grown, and given the kids copies, so that everyone knows what to expect...and do...if necessary.  We have concluded that we are Not immortal, and being prepared, as much as possible, for the inevitable, should keep any issues from developing when we pass.  We have a good family, and I would like to keep it that way.  

There are some online sites that can help a person make a will for little or no cost, but I would recommend that if a person does so, they should still take the documents to a good lawyer, for evaluation, as rules probably vary widely from State to State.


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## Lethe200 (Jul 26, 2018)

Just a reminder:
In some states, "living wills" are no longer accepted. ALWAYS check your state laws and stay updated on them. 

In California, the document needed is the Healthcare Power of Attorney form (healthcare PoA). If the person has a terminal illness or extreme frailty, the POLST form is recommended (Provider Orders for Life-SustainingTreatment).

CA does not require witnesses to the Healthcare PoA, merely the date/signature of your doctor that you and s/he discussed the provisions.

Note that your agent should always have a copy of your current Healthcare PoA form. If you are unable to speak or be questioned, or even merely be unavailable (for example, in the process of being transferred from one place to another), your agent can be denied information or access due to HIPAA issues, without a copy of the relevant PoA form proving their authorization.

This happens because the wording in the HIPAA is quite vague and has never been properly clarified. Thus, there are times when the medical professionals may choose to be very conservative about releasing access about someone's condition, if they feel nervous about possible liability consequences.


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## OneEyedDiva (Jul 29, 2018)

rkunsaw said:


> There is a provision in our will that anyone who challenges the will because they think they were mistakenly left out will get one dollar.


You're being generous! My will says anyone who challenges get nothing. Zero, nada, zip.


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## mathjak107 (Jul 29, 2018)

We already had a defective trust dropped in our laps where grandpa said nothing is to go to his estranged grandkids by name. Well there was a defect in verbiage, the courts notified the grand kids and a battle started in court. In the end we had to reach an out of court settlement with them . The judge said we may not like his ruling so he advised us to settle before he rules. 

There is nothing in a will or trust that can not be challenged


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