# Thoughts on a companionship service?



## jbloom123 (May 6, 2020)

Hi everyone, I wanted to get some opinions on a service I'm thinking about signing up my aging mother for. She's 90, lives by herself, and is a bit isolated. She is still mobile and can get around the neighborhood to complete basic chores. She has some nearby friends and peers but not overly social. While I try to visit and speak to her often, I think she could use some companionship. 

I learned about a local service that seems to be offering friendly calls to my mom once a week in addition to tracking her needs through automated calls twice a week. I am curious to hear if any of you have used such a service and found it to be helpful? What do you think is a reasonable cost for this?

Thanks,
John


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## treeguy64 (May 6, 2020)

I think you're in here to get ideas for this business that you're thinking of starting up, and I think you're wanting us to give you an idea of how to price it. 

It sounds like a bad idea, at any cost. If someone is so alone that they need a stranger to ring them up for a chat, then that person will be ripe for getting scammed, as many, unfortunately, are. Your service will make these folks more vulnerable. 

Not sure how automated calls will track someone's needs. Much better for friends and family to stop by, or call, on occasion, to see what the individual might need or want. 

Automated calls, absent some very high tech features, can't hear troubling signs in a person's voice, or determine that the person is in need of emergency intervention. 

Go fish in another pond, man.


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## C'est Moi (May 6, 2020)

I have not heard of such a thing and would have no interest, so I'd think "nothing" is the right price.  I think you should ask your mother if she wants such a "service."  What on earth would she have to talk to a complete stranger about?


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## treeguy64 (May 6, 2020)

C'est Moi said:


> I have not heard of such a thing and would have no interest, so I'd think "nothing" is the right price.  I think you should ask your mother if she wants such a "service."  What on earth would she have to talk about to a complete stranger?


The whole thing is fishy. This guy is simply trying to start a business. 
His post makes no sense. He could easily call his mom for a chat, a few times a week. He could check to see what she needs 
I strongly believe he's some hustler trying to start such a business, and was attempting to use us older folks to help him plan it.


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## Aunt Bea (May 7, 2020)

It wouldn't appeal to me unless it was a sincere social visit from a friend or acquaintance.

I would much rather spend my money on someone to clean my apartment, do laundry, chauffeur me around, and provide a little small talk in the process.

I agree with C'est Moi if I was your mom I would take the cash and skip the visit.


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## JaniceM (May 7, 2020)

jbloom123 said:


> Hi everyone, I wanted to get some opinions on a service I'm thinking about signing up my aging mother for. She's 90, lives by herself, and is a bit isolated. She is still mobile and can get around the neighborhood to complete basic chores. She has some nearby friends and peers but not overly social. While I try to visit and speak to her often, I think she could use some companionship.
> 
> I learned about a local service that seems to be offering friendly calls to my mom once a week in addition to tracking her needs through automated calls twice a week. I am curious to hear if any of you have used such a service and found it to be helpful? What do you think is a reasonable cost for this?
> 
> ...


Isolation and loneliness can be dangerous.  _However-  _everybody has their own needs and preferences, and while some want companionship more than others, one important factor in aging is making one's own decisions.  Please don't take her independence away from her by signing her up for something because "you" think she needs it.  Talk to her, and see what _she _wants.

Also, if this option is agreed on, don't be too quick to go along with some new local service.  While all different kinds of homecare/companionship etc. do exist for elderly people living at home, check with the agency in your area that oversees elder services-  Office for the Aging, etc.-  to make sure what you learned about is legitimate, or they can direct you to one that is.


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## Rosemarie (May 7, 2020)

Here in the UK we have charitable organisations which have visitors, who call on lonely elderly people for a cup of tea and a chat. Isn't there something similar in the states?


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## JaniceM (May 7, 2020)

Rosemarie said:


> Here in the UK we have charitable organisations which have visitors, who call on lonely elderly people for a cup of tea and a chat. Isn't there something similar in the states?


That reminded me-  in some areas, AARP matches seniors with other seniors who volunteer for visits.


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## JustBonee (May 7, 2020)

When you are older and  live alone, like myself,    it doesn't mean you are lonely. 
Would never be interested in chatting it up with a total stranger.  It  doesn't make sense to me.  
I have  neighbors around me that are more than willing to strike up  a conversation anytime of the day or night,     and/or   family on the other  end of the phone/computer  24/7.
...  and I also have a dog that thinks he's human ..   he's a good listener ..


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## Giantsfan1954 (May 7, 2020)

If this is legitimate,I would need to know that these people were vetted very well,background checks and so on,I could see it being a way to victimize seniors and scam them instead of its original purpose if there is one.


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## Aneeda72 (May 7, 2020)

jbloom123 said:


> Hi everyone, I wanted to get some opinions on a service I'm thinking about signing up my aging mother for. She's 90, lives by herself, and is a bit isolated. She is still mobile and can get around the neighborhood to complete basic chores. She has some nearby friends and peers but not overly social. While I try to visit and speak to her often, I think she could use some companionship.
> 
> I learned about a local service that seems to be offering friendly calls to my mom once a week in addition to tracking her needs through automated calls twice a week. I am curious to hear if any of you have used such a service and found it to be helpful? What do you think is a reasonable cost for this?
> 
> ...


I don’t mind if you are fishing for ideals for a business, but as you see, it won’t work.  My mother is 95 and says she is lonely as well.  She lives in senior housing.  She is lonely by choice.  If your mom wants company, it’s your company she wants, not some paid random person.  She already had those people, doctors, nurses, store clerks, telemarketers, .


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## RadishRose (May 7, 2020)

I don't like the idea either.


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## treeguy64 (May 7, 2020)

I believe I called this correctly. The op just joined, and, right off, does not let anyone see his profile when it's clicked on.  He's hustling a new business idea of his. That's all, I think. He apparently thought we were old, gullible fools who'd fall for his nonsense.  He's now being ignored.


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## applecruncher (May 7, 2020)

Waving @ LilBear 

@jbloom123
Call up a few services, present your situation, ask what they charge.


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## terry123 (May 8, 2020)

Meals om Wheels here always asks how I am feeling when they bring my lunch.  Agree he is just fishing.  Fish some where else!


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## Kaila (May 8, 2020)

I also hope that this original poster does not private message people;

I suggest to Any members,  please be very cautious.


The poster is a new unknown member, and has other thread posts as well, that all focus on asking  people if they are isolated or lonely.
(He or they, or it, are not a senior expressing their own isolation )

I Don't know what the actual motive is, but i would not blindly assume it is a good one.


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## RadishRose (May 8, 2020)

Looks like he's been banned. Same message when clicking on his name- "Ooops..."


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## C'est Moi (May 8, 2020)

I don't know if he is "mining" the forum but I get fed up with people who sign up here and start with their "answer this questionnaire for my grandson" or "I'm a student and need you to answer a few questions," or whatever.   Thank goodness Matrix seems to keep most of those out of here.


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## fuzzybuddy (May 14, 2020)

Oh, great. Just what I needed- *Another robo call.*


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## Sunny (May 15, 2020)

You're probably all right about this guy; good catch.  But it did sound like an idea that I've had. I've been wondering if there is a business that provides assistance to older people.  Not personal caregiver service, I'm thinking more of help with household chores, and particularly help with electronic stuff, which a lot of old people seem to have trouble with.  

I have a dear friend in her 90's.  She is mentally as sharp as a tack, but in the last couple of weeks, she has been pretty distraught about not being able to open jars, having trouble putting together a new vacuum cleaner (she had to temporarily let her cleaning lady go due to the virus), not being able to hook up her CD player to her stereo, and one day her phone and computer abruptly stopped working (turned out something was unplugged)!  Even if I could personally help her with all this, I think it goes beyond the boundaries of friendship. And of course, she isn't letting anyone into her house anyway. But even in a post-Covid world, I think she'd need more help than she is able to get.  She has children, who are running around getting her groceries and doing all sorts of errands for her, but they have lives of their own, and nobody wants to keep bothering their middle-aged children to constantly help them.

Yet, she is fiercely independent, and I'm sure she doesn't want assisted living. I know I wouldn't.

So this wouldn't be cleaning help, or nursing help, or secretarial help, but sort of a combination of all three. Might be a good part time job for a local college student.  The person needing help would either have a regular assistant coming in, maybe weekly or twice a week, or would call on an as-needed basis. Obviously, the assistants would be carefully vetted, the same as those working for any other agency. 

I was thinking of suggesting this to our social services department, once this Covid thing is over.

The one thing I'd be leery of is the possibility that a snake in the grass could sneak through the vetting process and end up emptying her whole bank account.  But then, couldn't a personal caregiver also do that?


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## boliverchadsworth (May 18, 2020)

Sunny said:


> You're probably all right about this guy; good catch.  But it did sound like an idea that I've had. I've been wondering if there is a business that provides assistance to older people.  Not personal caregiver service, I'm thinking more of help with household chores, and particularly help with electronic stuff, which a lot of old people seem to have trouble with.
> 
> I have a dear friend in her 90's.  She is mentally as sharp as a tack, but in the last couple of weeks, she has been pretty distraught about not being able to open jars, having trouble putting together a new vacuum cleaner (she had to temporarily let her cleaning lady go due to the virus), not being able to hook up her CD player to her stereo, and one day her phone and computer abruptly stopped working (turned out something was unplugged)!  Even if I could personally help her with all this, I think it goes beyond the boundaries of friendship. And of course, she isn't letting anyone into her house anyway. But even in a post-Covid world, I think she'd need more help than she is able to get.  She has children, who are running around getting her groceries and doing all sorts of errands for her, but they have lives of their own, and nobody wants to keep bothering their middle-aged children to constantly help them.
> 
> ...


I am a Nigerian prince and just won the irish sweepstakes..and need help getting my new found money out the country and getting it and myself to the usa....help


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## Phoenix (Aug 4, 2020)

My mom would have hated the idea.  She wouldn't know the person.   I did sign her up for a company like Lifeline.  It didn't help.  She lay on the floor or 17 hours before one of her fiends got worried and checked on her.  At that point I was calling her once a week because I thought she was covered.  I had just talked to her right before she fell and got stuck between the cedar chest and the bed.  After that she had to be in a nursing home.  If someone signed me up for for a companion service I'd be pissed.  A companion service makes me think of hiring a hooker.


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## Aneeda72 (Aug 4, 2020)

Phoenix said:


> My mom would have hated the idea.  She wouldn't know the person.   I did sign her up for a company like Lifeline.  It didn't help.  She lay on the floor or 17 hours before one of her fiends got worried and checked on her.  At that point I was calling her once a week because I thought she was covered.  I had just talked to her right before she fell and got stuck between the cedar chest and the bed.  After that she had to be in a nursing home.  If someone signed me up for for a companion service I'd be pissed.  A companion service makes me think of hiring a hooker.


My 95 year old mother has three different aides to come in and help her.  While they are not called companions, since they are there they provide companionship.  She likes some better than others. She will not go into assisted living, or a nursing home.

i think assisted living would be great, I would not not put a human being in a nursing home.  Terrible places.


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## Lewkat (Aug 4, 2020)

An automated chat is hardly companionable.  Who is this guy kidding?


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## Phoenix (Aug 4, 2020)

Aneeda72 said:


> My 95 year old mother has three different aides to come in and help her.  While they are not called companions, since they are there they provide companionship.  She likes some better than others. She will not go into assisted living, or a nursing home.
> 
> i think assisted living would be great, I would not not put a human being in a nursing home.  Terrible places.


Mom was too ill for assisted living.  She was too ill to stay with my husband and me.  I was very surprised that she loved the nursing home.  They were kind to her there and she made lots of friends.  The staff loved her.  She even fell in love.  Not all of them suck.


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## Aneeda72 (Aug 5, 2020)

Phoenix said:


> Mom was too ill for assisted living.  She was too ill to stay with my husband and me.  I was very surprised that she loved the nursing home.  They were kind to her there and she made lots of friends.  The staff loved her.  She even fell in love.  Not all of them suck.


Good to know you found a good nursing home, I’ll die by the side of the road before I go into one again; and I was only there about 36 hours.  I was supposed to stay 60 days.  My mom refuses to enter one and now I understand why.


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## Phoenix (Aug 5, 2020)

The one that I put Mom in was the same one a couple of other people in my family had stayed over the years.  They were good to them, too.  They were excellent to Mom as she was dying.  Eleven years after my mom passed away, it's still a good place.  My friend's daughter works there as an activities director.  She says they've handled the COVID problem quite well.  My friend in Connecticut's husband had to be put in one once my friend cracked her spine lifting him around.  She's 83.  She moved into assisted living next to him.  Not all cows have ticks.  It's a bummer yours did.


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## Aneeda72 (Aug 5, 2020)

Phoenix said:


> The one that I put Mom in was the same one a couple of other people in my family had stayed over the years.  They were good to them, too.  They were excellent to Mom as she was dying.  Eleven years after my mom passed away, it's still a good place.  My friend's daughter works there as an activities director.  She says they've handled the COVID problem quite well.  My friend in Connecticut's husband had to be put in one once my friend cracked her spine lifting him around.  She's 83.  She moved into assisted living next to him.  Not all cows have ticks.  It's a bummer yours did.


I had to go after a two/three week hospital stay.  The insurance said they would not pay the hospital bill unless I went to the nursing home for two months.  The place was clean, that’s all that was good about it.


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## Phoenix (Aug 5, 2020)

Aneeda72 said:


> I had to go after a two/three week hospital stay.  The insurance said they would not pay the hospital bill unless I went to the nursing home for two months.  The place was clean, that’s all that was good about it.


That really sucks.  There was no other place you could switch to?


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## macgeek (Aug 5, 2020)

how do we know he is starting a business and not here asking a legit question?


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## Aneeda72 (Aug 5, 2020)

Phoenix said:


> That really sucks.  There was no other place you could switch to?


I only stayed 36 hours, came home, took care of myself, never again.  I was not capable of finding a different place and my husband was not willing to look.


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## Phoenix (Aug 5, 2020)

Aneeda72 said:


> I only stayed 36 hours, came home, took care of myself, never again.  I was not capable of finding a different place and my husband was not willing to look.


Guess it happens that way at times.  Unless one knows of the history of a place you can never be sure until you or someone you know lives there for a while.


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