# New diet for pensioners



## Jillaroo (Oct 23, 2013)

Pensioner's  reply in Coles

Didn't  like shopping there  anyway.

Yesterday  I was at my local COLES  store buying a  large
bag  of Pedigree dog food for my loyal pet and was
in the  checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a  dog.
What did she think I had, an elephant?  So,  since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I  told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was
starting  the Pedigree Diet again.  I added that I probably  shouldn’t,because I ended up in hospital last time,  but I'd lost 2 stone before I
woke up in intensive care  with tubes coming out of most of my orifices
and IV's  in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a  perfect diet and that the way that
it works is to load  your pockets with Pedigree nuggets and simply eat
one  or two every time you feel hungry.  The food is  nutritionally
complete so it works well and I was going  to try it again.  (I have to
mention here  that  practically everyone in queue was now  enthralled with
my story.)
Horrified, she asked me  if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
food  poisoned me.  I told her no, I stepped off the kerb  to sniff an
Irish Setter's arse and a car hit me.
I  thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart  attack he was
laughing so hard.  
I'm now  banned from Coles.  Better watch what you ask retired  people.  
They have all the time in the world to  think of daft things to  say.


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## Warrigal (Oct 23, 2013)

:lofl:

Priceless


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## Michael. (Oct 23, 2013)

That one is a classic 'Golden Oldie'


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## muckferret (Oct 30, 2013)

That's my girl.:lofl:


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## SifuPhil (Oct 31, 2013)

That WAS hilarious, but of course my Yin-Yang mind immediately went to the times I've seen people actually _living_ on pet food ...


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