# For those who enjoy grammar...this is brilliant!!!



## Ronni (Aug 21, 2020)

For those who enjoy grammar...
• An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.
• A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.
• A bar was walked into by the passive voice.
• An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.
• Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”
• A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.
• Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.
• A question mark walks into a bar?
• A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.
• Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."
• A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.
• A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.
• Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.
• A synonym strolls into a tavern.
• At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.
• A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.
• Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.
• A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.
• An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.
• The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.
• A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph.
• The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
• A dyslexic walks into a bra.
• A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.
• A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.
• A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.
• A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony.


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## Keesha (Aug 21, 2020)

Some of them flew over my head but that’s good.


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## Rosemarie (Aug 21, 2020)

Well thought out.


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## jujube (Aug 21, 2020)

Love it!


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## Phoenix (Aug 21, 2020)

My last grammar passed away when I was 16.  She freed me up.


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## GeorgiaXplant (Aug 21, 2020)

Love the malapropism!


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## RadishRose (Aug 21, 2020)

A dyslexic walks into a bra. That would be me.

Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."


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## Phoenix (Aug 21, 2020)

GeorgiaXplant said:


> Love the malapropism!


I had to look up the word.  Grin


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## Phoenix (Aug 21, 2020)

RadishRose said:


> A dyslexic walks into a bra. That would be me.
> 
> Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."


Oh, I thought maybe you were hugely endowed.


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## Lewkat (Aug 21, 2020)

Wow, that is terrific.  Love them all.


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## peramangkelder (Aug 21, 2020)

@Ronni that is very good indeed and worth re-reading


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## applecruncher (Aug 21, 2020)

Makes me cringe when people say _for all intensive purposes_.


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## Phoenix (Aug 21, 2020)

applecruncher said:


> Makes me cringe when people say _for all intensive purposes_.


I think they do that because they can't hear it properly.


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## Butterfly (Aug 22, 2020)

After the misuse of the apostrophe, the thing that drives me the most nuts (though often it can be  funny) is a misplaced modifier.


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## Phoenix (Aug 22, 2020)

Butterfly said:


> After the misuse of the apostrophe, the thing that drives me the most nuts (though often it can be  funny) is a misplaced modifier.


I notice that when listening to the news.


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## applecruncher (Aug 23, 2020)

Many say they could care less when what they mean is they _couldn't_ care less.

And for clarification, _for all intensive purposes _should be _for all intents and purposes_


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## GeorgiaXplant (Aug 23, 2020)

applecruncher said:


> Many say they could care less when what they mean is they _couldn't_ care less.
> 
> And for clarification, _for all intensive purposes _should be _for all intents and purposes_


For those of us who get it, we know that For those who don't get it, it doesn't make any difference


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## Ferocious (Aug 23, 2020)

*For those who enjoy grammar......

Being a gentleman, I would never disclose how many Grandmas I've enjoyed. *


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## applecruncher (Aug 23, 2020)

GeorgiaXplant said:


> For those of us who get it, we know that For those who don't get it, it doesn't make any difference


I wasn't teaching, just commenting.


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## Phoenix (Aug 23, 2020)

One of the things that's good is to just let things go.  It really doesn't matter.


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## Aunt Marg (Aug 23, 2020)

Keesha said:


> *Some* of them flew over my head but that’s good.


Some?

Not one registered with me.

Guess I'm not brilliant.


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## Keesha (Aug 23, 2020)

Aunt Marg said:


> Some?
> 
> Not one registered with me.
> 
> Guess I'm not brilliant.


Ok most . I’m not brilliant either. ☺


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## applecruncher (Aug 23, 2020)

Phoenix said:


> One of the things that's good is to just let things go.  It really doesn't matter.




People may choose to initiate and discuss whatever they want. Others can move on.


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## StarSong (Aug 23, 2020)

@Ronni, you had me at Oxford comma.  

I didn't know chiasmus or gerund. The rest I was at least passingly familiar with, although I was surprised there were no dangling prepositions.


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## StarSong (Aug 24, 2020)

Thanks for getting it, @Ronni!


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## Ronni (Aug 24, 2020)

StarSong said:


> Thanks for getting it, @Ronni!


Dangling prepositions have become the norm these days. I mean how often do you hear someone say “To where are you going?” Or “From whom did this come?”


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