# What Is A Man? - Esquire's View



## SifuPhil

_Esquire_ magazine's take on what a man truly is, circa 2009 ...



*A man carries cash.*   A man looks out for those around him —  woman, friend, stranger.   A man can cook eggs.  A man can always find something good to watch on television.   A man makes things —  a rock wall, a table, the tuition money. Or he  rebuilds —  engines, watches, fortunes. He passes along expertise, one  man to the next. Know-how survives him. This is immortality.   A man can speak to dogs.   A man fantasizes that kung fu lives deep inside him somewhere.  A man knows how to sneak a look at cleavage and doesn't care if he gets busted once in a while.    A man is good at his job. Not his work, not his avocation, not his  hobby. Not his career. His job. It doesn't matter what his job is,  because if a man doesn't like his job, he gets a new one.

A man  can look you up and down and figure some things out. Before you say a  word, he makes you. From your suitcase, from your watch, from your  posture. A man infers.

A man owns up. That's why Mark McGwire is  not a man. A man grasps his mistakes. He lays claim to who he is, and  what he was, whether he likes them or not. 

Some mistakes, though, he lets pass if no one notices. Like dropping the steak in the dirt.

Read  How to Be a Man - Characteristics of the Ideal Man - Esquire


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## Warrigal

So they give us a photo of a man who makes his living in the world of make believe.
Ironic, that.


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## Diwundrin

Well spotted Warri. 



Now Phil, did they mention where this fantasy man is to be found because he's eluded me all my life.  (A free one anyway, I was always too slow to catch one still in the wild.

)


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## SifuPhil

Warrigal said:


> So they give us a photo of a man who makes his living in the world of make believe.
> Ironic, that.



Sorry - that was MY doing. I just picked a random _Esquire_ cover. 



Diwundrin said:


> Well spotted Warri.
> 
> 
> 
> Now Phil, did they mention where this fantasy man is to be found because he's eluded me all my life.  (A free one anyway, I was always too slow to catch one still in the wild.
> 
> )



Well, the entire premise of _Esquire_ is just a notch down from _Playboy_ in that they're idealizations of the perfect man, just as _Cosmo_ supposedly presents the perfect woman. 

Or, as the late, great Bruce Lee once said ...



> It is like a finger, pointing to the moon. Don't focus on the finger or you will miss all that heavenly glory.



Magazines like this are like a lure to fish - it's all glittery and shiny and moves real sexy, and you think you want to take a big bite out of it because you KNOW it's the real thing ... but let me tell you, just as an average Joe, I don't walk around in a $2,500 pair of leather pants while wearing my Rolex Oyster Perpetual, with my hair gelled to perfection while being surrounded by a bevy of anorexic little girls.

No, MY reality is that I'm wearing 5-year-old sweats that are expanding from too much pepperoni pizza, I wear an egg timer on a Velcro strap, I HAVE no hair and am surrounded by streetwalkers that look like they're training for the next All You Can Eat Buffet.


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## Happyflowerlady

Sifu, the reality for MOST of us, is that we don't have that movie star/celebrity look, body, or bank account.
 But, like you said so well, the shine is just glitter, not gold. Gold is all the way through if it is worth anything, and if you found it in the natural state, it might not even glitter.

Most of those qualities that were in the Esquire article, the worthwhile ones, come from attitude and integrity, not wealth, or even charm. 
 Being a gentleman, caring about those in need, being able to make things, just BEING there and giving that feeling of security to your lady, all of those things don't depend on looks. 
My father was just such a man, and to me, the sun rose and set on my Daddy, yet he was probably as plain a man as anyone could look at. But he could, and did, fix anything. He was trustworthy, reliable, and devoted his life to Mom and I.

  The strength of a person, man or woman, is found in their character.


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## Diwundrin

That's probably getting a lot closer to mark.


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## That Guy

"I'm a man 
Yes I am 
And I can't help 
But love you so." -- Spencer Davis Group


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## That Guy

Happyflowerlady said:


> Sifu, the reality for MOST of us, is that we don't have that movie star/celebrity look, body, or bank account.
> But, like you said so well, the shine is just glitter, not gold. Gold is all the way through if it is worth anything, and if you found it in the natural state, it might not even glitter.
> 
> Most of those qualities that were in the Esquire article, the worthwhile ones, come from attitude and integrity, not wealth, or even charm.
> Being a gentleman, caring about those in need, being able to make things, just BEING there and giving that feeling of security to your lady, all of those things don't depend on looks.
> My father was just such a man, and to me, the sun rose and set on my Daddy, yet he was probably as plain a man as anyone could look at. But he could, and did, fix anything. He was trustworthy, reliable, and devoted his life to Mom and I.
> 
> The strength of a person, man or woman, is found in their character.



Yes.  I noticed once that the really cool guys I admired were just plain nice.  They seem to have no need for cowardly obnoxious macho ego and are confident and comfortable in their skin.  So, I coined my own phrase, "A real man's strength lies in his kindness."


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## SeaBreeze

Happyflowerlady said:


> The strength of a person, man or woman, is found in their character.





That Guy said:


> Yes.  I noticed once that the really cool guys I admired were just plain nice.  They seem to have no need for cowardly obnoxious macho ego and are confident and comfortable in their skin.  So, I coined my own phrase, "A real man's strength lies in his kindness."



Well said! :iagree:  Those characters in magazines like that never did impress me.  I can appreciate a good looking, strong, handy, and kind man....but jeans and a tee shirt are fine, doesn't need any Gucci man purses, gelled hair, or Rolex watches to impress me, that would likely deter.   It's not difficult, they are people, and it's what's inside that counts.


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## Rainee

Reminds me of a song.. 
What is a man sung by the Four Tops.. 
does it really portray a man? what is a real man?. 
my interpretation of a real man not a glitzy glamour $moneyman who 
has all he ever needs.. and wears the top designer labels, has meals in 
expensive restaurants and drives a classy car oh and wears a Rolex. thats 
all false , to me a real man is .. maybe I am off topic here but oh well ! I`ll give it 
a go.. 
A real man is one who shows respect to his Mother and Father, treats his family and friend, 
and strangers on the street with the same respect as well. he loves his children and wife and 
stays through the thick and thin. a man who will never lift his hand to a woman`s
face in anger. who will also treat her like a lady with dignity and respect always.. 
Who shows her how much he truly cares and loves her by telling her and surprising 
her with flowers ohh my !I have yet to have that LOL... and so on.honest, 
caring, gentle, kind, be a good provider, and many other things.and be at peace with himself. 


A man can walk proudly down in the street
A man's not ashamed of what he believes
He knows how to laugh, he knows when to cry
He knows how to live, he's not afraid to die

What is a man? What is a man?
What is a man? What is a man?

A man searches for the key to success
He'd rather be sure than make a wild guess
He knows how to love, he knows how to hate
He knows when to move and he knows just when to wait

What is a man? What is a man?
What is a man? What is a man?

A man can be angry and still hold his tongue
A man don't give up till the battle is won
He knows how to win, he's not ashamed to lose
He knows his destiny, he doesn't take long to choose

What is a man? What is a man?
What is a man? What is a man?

What is a man? Just what is a man?
What is a man?​


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## JustBonee

Apparently,  the correct answer to the question is this guy ... Charlie Hunnam


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## Happyflowerlady

Why is it Charlie Hunnam ?
  I have barely even heard of him, and had to look him up to see why he is the Esquire Perfect Man, and even after looking, I am still clueless on what the reason might be ...

Are  we talking Girl Eye-candy , maybe ?

If we are, then Pierce Brosnan wins my vote for that. I could watch "The Thomas Crowne Affair" over and over......just sayin' .


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## That Guy




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## JustBonee

Charlie Hunnam just got the lead role in Fifty Shades of Grey (movie) ... so he must be perfect..

William Levy was talked about for the role.   I prefer him myself ... it's that super sexy smile.

_



_


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## That Guy

Boo's Mom said:


> Charlie Hunnam just got the lead role in _Fifty Shades of Grey (_movie_)  ... _so he must be perfect.._
> 
> _William Levy was talked about for the role.   I prefer him myself ... it's that super sexy smile. _
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _



Looks more like a face I'd like to punch.


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## JustBonee

That Guy said:


> Looks more like a face I'd like to punch.



Thanks my friend .... but NO, he's a cool guy  ..


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## That Guy

Boo's Mom said:


> Thanks my friend .... but NO, he's a cool guy  ..



Okay, I'll reserve the punching and take your word for it.  But, wanting to slap that obnoxious grin off his face is sooooooo tempting...   (It's a Man thing...)


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## SifuPhil

That Guy said:


> Okay, I'll reserve the punching and take your word for it.  But, wanting to slap that obnoxious grin off his face is sooooooo tempting...   (It's a Man thing...)



I'm glad I'm not the only guy that experiences that. There are just some faces that cry out for our tender loving mercies ... 

Which is somewhat confusing to me on a certain level: Steven Seagal has always been one of my idols in the martial arts world and I respect the man totally for what he accomplished IN that world, yet he has the kind of face I just want to cave in.


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## That Guy

SifuPhil said:


> . There are just some faces that cry out for our tender loving mercies ...


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## That Guy




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## JustBonee

Okay guys! ... understanding men to us females, is just as hard as the opposite..


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## That Guy

Boo's Mom said:


> Okay guys! ... understanding men to us females, is just as hard as the opposite..



I don't understand either.  Maybe that's why I studied psychology . . .


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## SifuPhil

(with apologies to The Chairman of the Board)

For what is a man, if he's got the hots? 
If not for a gal, then he has got_ gotz _
To say the things he truly feels, she'll make him crawl after he kneels 
The record shows his opinion blows and he did it _her_ way!


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## That Guy

*URP!


*


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## SifuPhil

That Guy said:


> *URP!*




... because REAL men set their table with turkeys, shrimp, pineapples, fondue and Pepsi! 

:witless:


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## That Guy

It's the REAL THING . . . Not!  Perfect example of what we rebelled against way back when we tried turning on, tuning in and dropping out.  Sure, it didn't last.  But, it sure made a statement.


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## SifuPhil

That Guy said:


> It's the REAL THING . . . Not!  Perfect example of what we rebelled against way back when we tried turning on, tuning in and dropping out.  Sure, it didn't last.  But, it sure made a statement.



It did at that. In fact, giving it several moments thought I can't really come up with any other "movement" in the last hundred years or so that had such far-reaching consequences.


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## Anne

SifuPhil said:


> It did at that. In fact, giving it several moments thought I can't really come up with any other "movement" in the last hundred years or so that had such far-reaching consequences.



The NOW movement did!!!  Especially the part about burning bras........nthego:


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## SifuPhil

Anne said:


> The NOW movement did!!!  Especially the part about burning bras........nthego:



Weeellllll ... yes, I suppose that had a large impact on society as well. It's just that it was for a _specialty group_ and not society as a _whole_. 

I mean, I tried burning MY bra back then and all people did was laugh.  

I was also going to say Prohibition, but again that was just for a specific group - people who drank alcohol. Non-drinkers weren't really affected. Same I suppose with the current marijuana legalization trend - it's just a segment of society.

The Hippies gave us radically different views and changed our ways of advertising, music, eating, recreation, films, work and careers ... they altered social attitudes on religion, sex, drug use and marriage, broke down barriers and introduced so many new words and concepts into our society. THAT'S the level of change I was thinking of ...


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## Warrigal

Some things can't happen until the right technological advance is made.
Women owe a good deal to Dr Gregoru Pincus for their current position in society.
The contraceptive pill allowed me as a married woman to forge some sort of career  without the constant fear of pregnancy and childbirth.
It has allowed younger women to have even more control over their lives pre and post marriage.

IMO this is a real man


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## SifuPhil

Warrigal said:


> Some things can't happen until the right technological advance is made.
> Women owe a good deal to Dr Gregoru Pincus for their current position in society.
> The contraceptive pill allowed me as a married woman to forge some sort of career  without the constant fear of pregnancy and childbirth.
> It has allowed younger women to have even more control over their lives pre and post marriage.



Excellent point.

That made me think of the creation of the automotive assembly line for the Olds factory in 1901, later improved by Henry Ford in 1913. This allowed a level of production that would make vehicles available to a much larger part of the population, in the process changing demographics, work schedules and general mobility of the people.


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## Lc jones

Here is another old thread I found interesting. Please post your thoughts! I’m still thinking of my response.


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## Sassycakes

When I hear what is a real man the only thing that pops in my head is My Husband !


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## Gary O'

A real man?

A real man is affected by little
But, quietly, steadfastly plans/reacts when adversity occurs

A real man prizes, religiously protects simple sweet things/beings; small children, aged folks, nature, the less fortunate

All the same with a real woman 

A real child is always the benefactor 

.....and becomes a real man, a real woman


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## gennie

Is this the same creature that so often thinks "If I can't have her, no one should" or who says to wife he just beat "Now look what you made me do" or the recent example of Aussie soccer player who doused wife and car with petrol and set it afire killing wife and children then committing suicide?


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## Gaer

This was my husband who passed away.  He was kind, strong, a true gentleman, a federal Marshal.  Just wanted to show you what a real man looks like!


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## Pecos

Gaer
He looks like a guy that I would enjoy having a beer with.

Whenever I see one of these idealized descriptions of a man (or woman), I always wind up concluding that they should be taken with "a grain" of salt.


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## grahamg

Just realised whose picture is used in the OP, taken from an Esquire cover, and it is of course the current James Bond actor Daniel Craig, as a much younger man.

Sorry it takes me a while to catch on these days!


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## Duster

Speaking of Pierce Brosnan:


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## grahamg

gennie said:


> Is this the same creature that so often thinks "If I can't have her, no one should" or who says to wife he just beat "Now look what you made me do" or the recent example of Aussie soccer player who doused wife and car with petrol and set it afire killing wife and children then committing suicide?



Bit shocked by the example of a "real man" you've quoted, but I'd guess a man successful in his sport might have been seen as a real man when he was being admired for his skill on the football field, though obviously mentally unstable and able to commit such an atrocity against a family you'd have thought he must have loved once.

Why did it come to your mind though I wonder(?).


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## fmdog44

"I can eat fifty eggs."


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## toffee

men have two good uses --one is they cut grass ;;; but we do need them to be honest -ile take that first pic fantasy '


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## Marlene

all I know is that I'm very glad that women don't seem to agree on what makes the perfect man or we would all be fighting over the same chap, eh?  Real men??  Real women??  What utter nonsense.  Or maybe not in these days of gender confusion       So, maybe the mark of a "real man" these days is that he actually knows whether he is a man or a woman??


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## grahamg

"Men and dogs were made to roam.............

.......Women and kids to stay at home"

I wont tell you where I got that old saying from, but there we are, from a different era obviously!


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## Marlene

grahamg said:


> "Men and dogs were made to roam.............
> 
> .......Women and kids to stay at home"
> 
> I wont tell you where I got that old saying from, but there we are, from a different era obviously!


only in men's imaginations, eh, gals?  Women were made to. . . .do whatever in the heck they want to do!


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## gennie

grahamg said:


> Bit shocked by the example of a "real man" you've quoted, but I'd guess a man successful in his sport might have been seen as a real man when he was being admired for his skill on the football field, though obviously mentally unstable and able to commit such an atrocity against a family you'd have thought he must have loved once.
> 
> Why did it come to your mind though I wonder(?).


gramamg, Probably because I had just read the article about the Aussie and also recently witnessed a neighborhood incident that featured a murder/suicide of the "If I can't have her ...." variety.  I do know these incidents are rare but I've never been able to understand the male action/reaction.


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## grahamg

Marlene said:


> Grahamg wrote:
> "Men and dogs were made to roam.............
> .......Women and kids to stay at home"
> I wont tell you where I got that old saying from, but there we are, from a different era obviously!
> 
> Marlene wrote:
> only in men's imaginations, eh, gals?  Women were made to. . . .do whatever in the heck they want to do!



I've got a funny feeling the "eh gals" referred to above, "doing whatever the heck they want to do", may not be any good to me, (and vice versa ).


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## Marlene

grahamg said:


> I've got a funny feeling the "eh gals" referred to above, "doing whatever the heck they want to do", may not be any good to me, (and vice versa ).


well, I suppose that depends on whether you actually believe men should roam and women should stay home, doesn't it?  I don't know any women who want that kind of relationship.  Maybe you do??


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## grahamg

Marlene said:


> well, I suppose that depends on whether you actually believe men should roam and women should stay home, doesn't it?  I don't know any women who want that kind of relationship.  Maybe you do??



I'd answer quixotically that "sometimes I do".

I'm not able to enjoy the company of anyone you might describe as a "doormat", but on the other hand, much as I appreciate "spark", it would be nice occasionally to be agreed with, even though they dont really agree, if you see what I mean, and let you park the darn car wherever you think you should park it, or whatever it might be causes rows!


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## win231

Ever since that surgery, I feel like a new man.


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## win231




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## Marlene

grahamg said:


> I'd answer quixotically that "sometimes I do".
> 
> I'm not able to enjoy the company of anyone you might describe as a "doormat", but on the other hand, much as I appreciate "spark", it would be nice occasionally to be agreed with, even though they dont really agree, if you see what I mean, and let you park the darn car wherever you think you should park it, or whatever it might be causes rows!


Hmmm, seems like we are talking about two different things.  To me there is a world of difference in men roaming while women stay home and being able to agree to disagree without being disrespectful.


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## Warrigal

This topic reminded me of the poem written by Robert Burns and I think that I agree with his idea of  what makes a man. It has been set to music and a glossary would be helpful. Still, if you listen carefully, you can get the gist. Honesty makes the man.


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## Nautilus

SifuPhil said:


> ... because REAL men set their table with turkeys, shrimp, pineapples, fondue and Pepsi!
> 
> :witless:


That's a ham with cloves, not a turkey.


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## grahamg

win231 said:


> Ever since that surgery, I feel like a new man.



I can see you point............., but a word of warning, "you might attract the attention of the wrong types"(?)  .


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## grahamg

Warrigal said:


> This topic reminded me of the poem written by Robert Burns and I think that I agree with his idea of  what makes a man. It has been set to music and a glossary would be helpful. Still, if you listen carefully, you can get the gist. Honesty makes the man.



Loved the Robbie Burns poem, and beautifully sung too. I thought it quite a socialist interpretation of a man too.   .


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## Warrigal

Sprung.


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## grahamg

Marlene said:


> Grahamg wrote:I'd answer quixotically "sometimes I do".......
> 
> Marlene wrote:
> 
> Hmmm, seems like we are talking about two different things.  To me there is a world of difference in men roaming while women stay home and being able to agree to disagree without being disrespectful.



You know perhaps what is meant by the term " Man's man", which I think is the sort of man not afraid of being a man, or afraid of much else either, (that's the sort of man my father was, and you'd have to say many women express a desire to be with a man who makes them feel secure).

There was a touch of bullishness about the "Men and dogs were meant to roam etc. " saying I admit, and I'd admit it isn't entirely fair to the "Little woman" who was expected to put up with it, but my father was raised in a different era, with three brothers, and very strong minded parents, so he wasn't going to be short of ego!


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## MarciKS

["A man knows how to sneak a look at cleavage and doesn't care if he gets busted once in a while."]

What I want to know is how this cleavage gawking makes a man a man? Does that mean any woman who isn't groin gawking isn't worth her salt? Not a real woman if she's not "sizing" him up? I'm just confused as to why a man isn't a man unless he's checking a woman out? A real man wouldn't have to be gawking at us like steak behind the butcher counter. And a real man would be able to deal with a woman that didn't stay home all the time being his maid.


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## Marlene

grahamg said:


> You know perhaps what is meant by the term " Man's man", which I think is the sort of man not afraid of being a man, or afraid of much else either, (that's the sort of man my father was, and you'd have to say many women express a desire to be with a man who makes them feel secure).
> 
> There was a touch of bullishness about the "Men and dogs were meant to roam etc. " saying I admit, and I'd admit it isn't entirely fair to the "Little woman" who was expected to put up with it, but my father was raised in a different era, with three brothers, and very strong minded parents, so he wasn't going to be short of ego!


Ah, but we are still talking about different situations here as I like and prefer men who are unequivocally men.  No fellas with gender dysphoria for me, thank you.  My father was an example of a manly man, and I have reared my sons to be the same.  However, I believe to women, there is a world of difference between "roaming" which signifies cheating, and being a man.  Plus, as you will note, most women are not content to be thought of as "little women" even at my size (5'3" and a hefty 117 pounds . So perhaps it is our syntax over which we disagree as I'm pretty certain your mother (or most likely you either) would not have wanted your father to cheat even if he was the manliest man in town - which I'm certain he was since most of us with manly fathers thought that of our own


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## grahamg

Marlene said:


> Ah, but we are still talking about different situations here as I like and prefer men who are unequivocally men.  No fellas with gender dysphoria for me, thank you.  My father was an example of a manly man, and I have reared my sons to be the same.  However, I believe to women, there is a world of difference between "roaming" which signifies cheating, and being a man.  Plus, as you will note, most women are not content to be thought of as "little women" even at my size (5'3" and a hefty 117 pounds . So perhaps it is our syntax over which we disagree as I'm pretty certain your mother (or most likely you either) would not have wanted your father to cheat even if he was the manliest man in town - which I'm certain he was since most of us with manly fathers thought that of our own



_"A faint heart never won a fair lady" _was another one of my dads sayings, (he didn't cheat by the way, maybe because he believed in another old saying, too rude to repeat here in full unfortunately, about _"A man who fodders well at home not having hay or straw to sell_").

We probably have been at cross purposes though generally, I agree.


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## MarciKS

SifuPhil said:


> _Esquire_ magazine's take on what a man truly is, circa 2009 ...
> 
> View attachment 2123
> A man  can look you up and down and figure some things out. Before you say a  word, he makes you. From your suitcase, from your watch, from your  posture. A man infers.



I know a woman or two who can do this. It isn't just a man thing.


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## Gaer

a real man,in my opinion:
stands behind his word,
has his own value system
has his own moral code
has his own spirituality
has an adventurous spirit
slightly rebel,rough, rugged spirit
not fully tamed and won't be
has dignity,class and his own style
commands respect
confident and stands alone
combination o fstrength and gentleness
bold and unafraid
won't take any crap from anyone
intelligent!
makes his own path and walks it.


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## MarciKS

Have you ever met any men like that Gaer?

The only kind I know are mouthy with beer guts. LOL


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## Lizzie00

Oh, lots of them have their own moral code...but for sure that’s not gender specific


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## Keesha

grahamg said:


> You know perhaps what is meant by the term " Man's man", which I think is the sort of man not afraid of being a man, or afraid of much else either, (that's the sort of man my father was, and you'd have to say many women express a desire to be with a man who makes them feel secure).
> 
> There was a touch of bullishness about the "Men and dogs were meant to roam etc. " saying I admit, and I'd admit it isn't entirely fair to the "Little woman" who was expected to put up with it, but my father was raised in a different era, with three brothers, and very strong minded parents, so he wasn't going to be short of ego!


What’s this ‘little women’ bull chit?
You’ll admit it isn’t entirely fair to the ‘little women?’
What century’ are you speaking of and in what country? Little woman!!!  You’re kidding. Right?


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## MarciKS

Keesha said:


> What’s this ‘little women’ bull chit?
> You’ll admit it isn’t entirely fair to the ‘little women?’
> What century’ are you speaking of and in what country? Little woman!!!  You’re kidding. Rught?


I like the part where they "had to put up with it."


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## Keesha

MarciKS said:


> I like the part where they "had to put up with it."


I know...   
Oh boy.
Lucky for the masks


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## grahamg

Gaer said:


> a real man,in my opinion:
> stands behind his word,
> has his own value system
> has his own moral code
> has his own spirituality
> has an adventurous spirit
> slightly rebel,rough, rugged spirit
> not fully tamed and won't be
> has dignity,class and his own style
> commands respect
> confident and stands alone
> combination o fstrength and gentleness
> bold and unafraid
> won't take any crap from anyone
> intelligent!
> makes his own path and walks it.


 Or they might just be sociopaths masking their weaknesses, (bear that in mind anyway?)?    .


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## grahamg

Keesha said:


> What’s this ‘little women’ bull chit?
> You’ll admit it isn’t entirely fair to the ‘little women?’
> What century’ are you speaking of and in what country? Little woman!!!  You’re kidding. Right?


No not kidding, wrong, though I am talking a lifetime ago undoubtedly. !


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## grahamg

MarciKS said:


> I like the part where they "had to put up with it."


The "little woman" my father chose to marry turned out to be pretty tough too, or learned how to be. Not to worry, if you've not met anyone like the ones I'm describing, "I'm sure it ain't held you back none".      .


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## MarciKS

I've met types that have "put up" with their men. I don't have any use for that personally.


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## grahamg

MarciKS said:


> I've met types that have "put up" with their men. I don't have any use for that personally.


Amongst our UK prime ministers there were some whose wife had an affair, and they "put up with it" until their wife came to love them again towards the end of their life, (Harold Macmillan comes to mind). Sometimes such forbearance can show great strength of character, and the prime minister I mentioned fought in WWI and his fellow troops used his behaviour as an example, and made the remark "to be as brave as Macmillan").


----------



## MarciKS

When I think of strength of character...putting up with someone else's BS does not come to mind. Kudos to those that are willing to do it, though.


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## Gaer

MarciKS said:


> Have you ever met any men like that Gaer?
> 
> The only kind I know are mouthy with beer guts. LOL


Actually I have, but they are few on the Earth.


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## MarciKS

Gaer said:


> Actually I have, but they are few on the Earth.



Closest I've come to a man like that is in romance novels.


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## C'est Moi

MarciKS said:


> Closest I've come to a man like that is in romance novels.


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## MarciKS

Oh yeah! ~Grins~


----------



## In The Sticks

"And suppose I _do_ rescue you from a lifetime of loneliness stranded on this beach," he said.  "What's in it for _me_?"

She looked at him demurely and whispered: "Sand."


----------



## MarciKS

Thanks. Now every time I see a romance novel cover I'm gonna start laughing. LOL


----------



## In The Sticks

MarciKS said:


> Thanks. Now every time I see a romance novel cover I'm gonna start laughing. LOL


As well you should.


----------



## MarciKS

I don't read those silly things. You just can't help but not see them when you're in a store buying other books. I like murder mysteries.


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## In The Sticks

When I worked in a drug store (first job out of high school) our security guys caught a customer shoplifting a bunch of those romance novels.  Took him to the back room and discovered he was a well-known local ophthalmologist.  The guy had $200 cash on him!

Just some weird compulsion.

You laugh when you see them, I think of the rich kleptomaniac eye doctor.


----------



## C'est Moi

Flavia:  "If I had a flower for each time I thought of you, I'd walk in my garden forever."

Alesandro:  "I have a crab in my pants."


----------



## In The Sticks

C'est Moi said:


> View attachment 104556
> 
> Flavia:  "If I had a flower for each time I thought of you, I'd walk in my garden forever."
> 
> Alesandro:  "I have a crab in my pants."


LOL!!!!

Bless you for using the name "Flavia."  When those machines came out, I was the only one in the office who knew that used to be a popular girl's name.  There was a Christmas movie with a little girl named Flavia in it.

I was watching a Twilight Zone episode and the woman's name "Iona" was used.  Made me start looking at popular names of the past that are no longer used.  It's too bad.


----------



## C'est Moi

In The Sticks said:


> LOL!!!!
> 
> Bless you for using the name "Flavia."  When those machines came out, I was the only one in the office who knew that used to be a popular girl's name.  There was a Christmas movie with a little girl named Flavia in it.
> 
> I was watching a Twilight Zone episode and the woman's name "Iona" was used.  Made me start looking at popular names of the past that are no longer used.  It's too bad.


I was just trying to come up with cheesy bodice-ripper names.


----------



## In The Sticks

C'est Moi said:


> I was just trying to come up with cheesy bodice-ripper names.


Bodice-ripper????
Man, how times change.

Poor women  (I assume you weren't talking about Fabio there.)


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## C'est Moi

In The Sticks said:


> Bodice-ripper????
> Man, how times change.
> 
> Poor women  (I assume you weren't talking about Fabio there.)


That's what they used to call those "romance" novels.  Bodice-rippers.


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## MarciKS

LOL! 

I can imagine him wanting to know what's for dinner and she tells him to eat sand.


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## C'est Moi

"Pound sand."


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## MarciKS

LOL you crack me up!


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## MarciKS

Well, I'm gonna slink off to FB for a few then I'm going to bed. Night!


----------



## In The Sticks

Same here.

2AM again.  I'll never learn...


----------



## In The Sticks

C'est Moi said:


> "Pound sand."


Mister buffed airhead: "I don' think I could eat a whole pound!!!"


----------



## grahamg

MarciKS said:


> When I think of strength of character...putting up with someone else's BS does not come to mind. Kudos to those that are willing to do it, though.


Maybe, but then again, in the nicest possible way, who is there to cope with our own failings. Do you think everyone should be alike, or even like you, (BTW I hate b/s as much as the next person, and I'm hearing a surfeit of it away from these forums right now!).    .


----------



## grahamg

Gaer said:


> Actually I have, but they are few on the Earth.


We all agree then, that men like the ones you described are rareish(?).    .


----------



## Ferocious

*Doris: Gasping...."Ooh-ummmeemmoohummmee-oo, take me, take me, TAKE ME NOW!"

Fred: "Where would you like to go, luv, blimey, that's a huge pimple on your chin."*


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## Keesha

grahamg said:


> No not kidding, wrong, though I am talking a lifetime ago undoubtedly. !





MarciKS said:


> I've met types that have "put up" with their men. I don't have any use for that personally.


Neither do I MarciKS. The ‘little woman’ comment said it all for me.

And the romance novel thing is another topic all together ..... FabioLol


----------



## Keesha

grahamg said:


> We all agree then, that men like the ones you described are rareish(?).    .


Rareish.... to non exist - ish.


----------



## grahamg

Keesha said:


> Rareish.... to non exist - ish.



Is that us agreeing, or disagreeing once again? (Said by a formerly "little man" btw!    ).


----------



## Keesha

grahamg said:


> Is that us agreeing, or disagreeing once again? (Said by a formerly "little man" btw!    ).


Sure is.  I know, rare but possible. lol
Appreciate the ‘little man’ comment though.


----------



## Gaer

Keesha said:


> Rareish.... to non exist - ish.


That Keesha, is a sad thing for womankind.


----------



## grahamg

Gaer said:


> That Keesha, is a sad thing for womankind.


Its is said though that a good woman can "draw a man further than anyone could kick him to achieve!".   .


----------



## MarciKS

grahamg said:


> Maybe, but then again, in the nicest possible way, who is there to cope with our own failings. Do you think everyone should be alike, or even like you, (BTW I hate b/s as much as the next person, and I'm hearing a surfeit of it away from these forums right now!).    .


I know we're not all alike. I never said we had to be.


----------



## MarciKS

In The Sticks said:


> Same here.
> 
> 2AM again.  I'll never learn...


Time flies when you're having fun.


----------



## EllisT

I am sure to catch heat for this. But that writer is from New York. I am not sure I need a New Yorker to tell me whether I am a man or not.


----------



## JaniceM

EllisT said:


> I am sure to catch heat for this. But that writer is from New York. I am not sure I need a New Yorker to tell me whether I am a man or not.


Hi, and Welcome to the Forum...  from a New Yorker...


----------



## EllisT

sorry, that came out wrong. I LOVE NEW YORK..and as Humprhey Bogart said in Casablanca, there are sections of NY the nazis had better not invade.


----------



## EllisT

JaniceM said:


> Hi, and Welcome to the Forum...  from a New Yorker...


sorry,,,,I thought better of my post and fixed it....and you have a Bob Dylan reference in your sig.....cool


----------



## In The Sticks

EllisT said:


> sorry,,,,I thought better of my post and fixed it....and you have a Bob Dylan reference in your sig.....cool


I wanna see your original post...I'd likely agree with it.

Too many experts on other people's lives, and they mostly seem to be located in a small handful of places.


----------



## JaniceM

In The Sticks said:


> I wanna see your original post...I'd likely agree with it.
> 
> Too many experts on other people's lives, and they mostly seem to be located in a small handful of places.



All the so-called experts is one reason everyday life is such a mess these days.  People are led to believe they can't even conduct their own everyday lives without all of this outside input.  One of the nuttiest examples I read about awhile back:  young people led to believe they can't move into their own adult lives without 'therapy'-  'how else can you know what you want, and know who you are?'  GAHHH!!!!  I wonder what it'll take for people to realize all it is is a money-making industry.


----------



## In The Sticks

JaniceM said:


> All the so-called experts is one reason everyday life is such a mess these days.  People are led to believe they can't even conduct their own everyday lives without all of this outside input.  One of the nuttiest examples I read about awhile back:  young people led to believe they can't move into their own adult lives without 'therapy'-  'how else can you know what you want, and know who you are?'  GAHHH!!!!  I wonder what it'll take for people to realize all it is is a money-making industry.


It's more about control than making money.

Since we can't conduct our own lives without outside input, it stands to reason we are incapable of governing ourselves.  It's easy enough for politicians to find someone who will espouse whatever position is desired, label that person an "Expert," then the masses will censor each other as we all strive to show how smart we are by agreeing with "the experts."   After all, if people believe themselves to be incapable of managing their own lives, who do the rest of us think we are in having influence over them via representative government?

Lots and lots of current example I won't stir the pot with.


----------



## Pinky

The description of what a man should be, surely changes from decade to decade. In any case, it's rather ridiculous to try to hold people to certain standards .. that goes for women as well.


----------



## Keesha

Gaer said:


> a real man,in my opinion:
> stands behind his word,
> has his own value system
> has his own moral code
> has his own spirituality
> has an adventurous spirit
> slightly rebel,rough, rugged spirit
> not fully tamed and won't be
> has dignity,class and his own style
> commands respect
> confident and stands alone
> combination o fstrength and gentleness
> bold and unafraid
> won't take any crap from anyone
> intelligent!
> makes his own path and walks it.


I’m sure there are some men like this
I’m sure there are some women like this
But nobody is ALL of these at all times.
And although these sound great on paper or in  text, when you really look at some of them .... they couid be deceptive.

For instance :
A man who stands behind his word?
What exactly is his word.? He might not have many good words or even know any.

He has his own value system?
Yes! They all do but that doesn’t mean it’s a necessarily a good one

He has his own moral code?
Once again, unless he’s got a great moral compass otherwise it’s useless.

Has his own spirituality?
So do all those cult leaders.



Has his own adventurous spirit?
Sure. He might love being out with the boys all weekend on his ATV .

Slightly rough rugged spirit whose not fully tamed and won’t be?

See above sentence. Not fully tamed and won’t be could open up a whole new can of worms.


Has, dignity , class .... ( all good )
...... and his own style? Sure. Don’t they all? Doesn’t mean it’s a good one.


Commands respect. That’s definitely a good one but some of the most boring people in the world command respect.

Confident and stands alone? Ok! Where are you in all this then?

Combination of strength and gentleness?
This might describe most of the  gay population.
( note: not knocking gay people whatsoever )


Bold and unafraid?
Not always a good thing?


Won’t take crap from anyone? Define crap? This could translate to , he doesn’t get along with anyone.

Intelligent? So is the local librarian with zero sex appeal.

Makes his own path and walks it?
So do all homeless people.


----------



## fmdog44

A guy that smokes Marlboros and wears Brut cologne.


----------



## Keesha

A man who looks like this. I’ve got a slight crush on this guy. Lol


----------



## Keesha

Actually a sense of humour wasn’t even mentioned or a good conversationalist?
What about a man who can cook?
Or a man who is a generous caregiver?
A handy man?

Personally I love a man with a good sense of humour, is tolerate of my faults and is kind and loyal. All the rest is just gravy; even looks and they fade.


----------



## In The Sticks

@Keesha said 





> But nobody is ALL of these at all times.



Yup.  It's a range of behaviours over a period of time that forms one's core.  A reasonably narrow range and reasonable consistency is what you measure it by, with Intent being the overriding driver.

Being situationally frustrated and being intentionally mean might look the same on the surface, but they're not.


----------



## Gaer

Keesha said:


> Actually a sense of humour wasn’t even mentioned or a good conversationalist?
> What about a man who can cook?
> Or a man who is a generous caregiver?
> A handy man?
> 
> Personally I love a man with a good sense of humour, is tolerate of my faults and is kind and loyal. All the rest is just gravy; even looks and they fade.


Oh yes, Humor is probably the most important.  I didn't want to take up the whole page!!!  I could have added a lot more.  Your post is SO FUNNY!!!!!   Keesha, You're adorable!!!!


----------



## MarciKS

I like the looks of this:


http://imgur.com/Y5JUy3V


But this is what lives in Kansas:


http://imgur.com/GFZDKwU


----------



## In The Sticks

MarciKS said:


> I like the looks of this:
> 
> 
> http://imgur.com/Y5JUy3V
> 
> 
> But this is what lives in Kansas:
> 
> 
> http://imgur.com/GFZDKwU


Discretion prevents me from commenting.

The top guy is in love with his mirror, but the bottom guy needs to ask if his shoes are tied.


----------



## C'est Moi

MarciKS said:


> But this is what lives in Kansas:
> 
> 
> http://imgur.com/GFZDKwU



Haha.  My ex was from Kansas.


----------



## MarciKS

In The Sticks said:


> Discretion prevents me from commenting.
> 
> The top guy is in love with his mirror, but the bottom guy needs to ask if his shoes are tied.


I don't know....the top guy dressed like the blond princess in frozen and did lip sync to let it go and danced around on tv for his daughter.


----------



## Keesha

In The Sticks said:


> but the bottom guy needs to ask if his shoes are tied.


And perhaps ask for an ashtray so he doesn’t have to use his shirt.


----------



## In The Sticks

Keesha said:


> And perhaps ask for an ashtray so he doesn’t have to use his shirt.


'Murica, dammit.


----------



## Keesha

In The Sticks said:


> 'Murica, dammit.


Had to look that up. 
Not the dammit part.


----------



## In The Sticks

Keesha said:


> Had to look that up.
> Not the dammit part.


I wondered if that was a reference familiar to you.


----------



## Keesha

In The Sticks said:


> I wondered if that was a reference familiar to you.


No! I’m from Canada and we don’t use that term. At least not that I’m aware of.


----------



## In The Sticks

Keesha said:


> No! I’m from Canada and we don’t use that term. At least not that I’m aware of.


I thought not.

Did you see the city in Spain?


----------



## Keesha

In The Sticks said:


> I thought not.
> 
> Did you see the city in Spain?


Huh? What city?


----------



## In The Sticks

Keesha said:


> Huh? What city?


When you asked what it meant, I searched to make sure I did not goof up my own slang.

This was the first search response when I looked:



> Murcia is a city in south-eastern Spain, the capital and most populous city of the Autonomous Community of the Region of Murcia, and the seventh largest city in the country, with a population of 447,182 inhabitants in 2018.



so I thought you saw it, too.


----------



## Keesha

In The Sticks said:


> When you asked what it meant, I searched to make sure I did not goof up my own slang.
> 
> This was the first search response when I looked:
> 
> 
> 
> so I thought you saw it, too.


Oh no. The first definition I got was ‘typical American.’


----------



## In The Sticks

Keesha said:


> Oh no. The first definition I got was ‘typical American.’


LOL!!!

Yup.

Pretty much.


----------



## Keesha

In The Sticks said:


> LOL!!!
> 
> Yup.
> 
> Pretty much.


I thought it was pretty funny too. 
Not at all what I was expecting.


----------



## In The Sticks

Keesha said:


> I thought it was pretty funny too.
> Not at all what I was expecting.☺


My web definition said:

*Murica* is a sometimes humorous, sometimes disparaging, sometimes proud slang term for America implying extreme patriotism and stereotyping how white southerners might say the word.. If your a beer-swillin', gun-totin', freedom-lovin', flag-wavin', red-blooded person from the U S of A, you might say you live in *Murica*.


----------



## C'est Moi

In The Sticks said:


> My web definition said:
> 
> *Murica* is a sometimes humorous, sometimes disparaging, sometimes proud slang term for America implying extreme patriotism and stereotyping how white southerners might say the word.. If your a beer-swillin', gun-totin', freedom-lovin', flag-wavin', red-blooded person from the U S of A, you might say you live in *Murica*.


You rang?


----------



## In The Sticks

C'est Moi said:


> You rang?


'Murica momma!!!  Let me git my clean t-shirt an' we'll go owt.  Mind the empties.


----------



## C'est Moi

In The Sticks said:


> 'Murica momma!!!  Let me git my clean t-shirt an' we'll go owt.  Mind the empties.


Well rope my legs and call me dogie.  I thought y'all was gone to bed by now.


----------



## In The Sticks

C'est Moi said:


> Well rope my legs and call me dogie.  I thought y'all was gone to bed by now.


Kint.

s'not my turn.


----------



## MarciKS

lmao! what R u 2 doin?


----------



## In The Sticks

I'm waitin' fer my tern inna bed.

I lost a bet:


----------



## C'est Moi

MarciKS said:


> lmao! what R u 2 doin?


He started it.


----------



## In The Sticks

2AM and I'm still up.

I used to get up at 4:30AM.


----------



## MarciKS

have we figured out who da man yet?


----------



## In The Sticks

It ain't that GQ guy.


----------



## MarciKS

u don't know that...*grins*


----------



## Lakeland living

Pecos said:


> Gaer
> He looks like a guy that I would enjoy having a beer with.
> 
> Whenever I see one of these idealized descriptions of a man (or woman), I always wind up concluding that they should be taken with "a grain" of salt.


   I agree with you , but think a salt lick would be closer....lol


----------

