# Tech Support



## Ken N Tx (Jan 25, 2015)

*What kind of computer do you have?  *
*Customer: A white one.  
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   Customer: Hi, this  is Celine. I can't get my DVD out !!! *
*Tech Support: Have you tried pushing the  button? *
*Customer: Yes, I'm sure it's really stuck.  *
*Tech Support: That doesn't sound good; I'll  make a note. *
*Customer: No, wait a minute, I hadn't  inserted it yet. It's still on my desk . . . sorry. Thank you.  
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   Tech Support:  *
*Click on the 'MY COMPUTER' icon on the left  of the screen. *
*Customer: Your left or my left?  
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   Tech Support:  *
*Hello. How may I help you?  *
*Male Customer: Hi .. . . I can't print.  *
*Tech Support: Would you click on 'START'  for me and . . *
*Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting  technical on me. I'm not Bill Gates!!!  
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   Customer:  *
*Good afternoon, this is Martha. I can't  print. Every time I try, it says . . .. 'CAN'T FIND PRINTER'. I even lifted the  printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says it  can't find it!!!  
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   Customer:  *
*I have problems printing in red. 
Tech  Support: Do you have a color printer? *
*Customer: Aaaah . . . . . .. . . . . thank  you. 
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   Tech Support:  *
*What's on your monitor now, ma'am?  *
*Customer: A teddy bear that my boyfriend  bought for me at the 7-11 store.  
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   Customer:  *
*My keyboard is not working anymore.  *
*Tech Support: Are you sure your keyboard is  plugged into the computer? *
*Customer: No. I can't get behind the  computer. *
*Tech Support: Pick up your keyboard and  take ten steps backwards. *
*Customer: Okay.. *
*Tech Support: Did the keyboard come with  you? *
*Customer: Yes. Tech Support: That means the  keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard? *
*Customer: Yes, there's another one here.  Wait a moment please. . .. . . . . Ah, that one does work. Thanks.  
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   Tech Support:  *
*Your password is the small letter 'a' as in  apple, a capital letter 'V' as in Victor, and the number '7'.  *
*Customer: Is that '7' in capital letters?  
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   Customer: I can't get  on the Internet. *
*Tech Support: Are you absolutely sure you  used the correct password? *
*Customer: Yes, I'm sure I saw my co-worker  do it. *
*Tech Support: Can you tell me what the  password was? *
*Customer: Five dots.  
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   Tech Support:  *
*What anti-virus program do you use?  *
*Customer: Netscape *
*Tech Support: That's not an anti-virus  program. *
*Customer: Oh, sorry . . . Internet  Explorer.  
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   Customer:*
* I have a huge problem! My friend has  placed a screen saver on my computer . . . but, every time I move my mouse, it  disappears. 
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   Tech  Support: *
*How may I help you? *
*Customer: I'm writing my first email.  *
*Tech Support: OK, and what seems to be the  problem? *
*Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in  the address, but how do I get the little circle around it.  
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   A woman customer  called the Canon help desk because she had a problem with her printer.  *
*Tech Support: *
*Are you running it under windows?  *
*Customer: No, my desk is next to the door,  but that is a good point. The man sitting next to me is by a window, and his  printer is working fine!  
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   And last, but  not least . . . *

*Tech Support: *
*Okay Bob, press the control and escape keys  at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now,  type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager. *
*Customer: I don't have a 'P'.  *
*Tech Support: On your keyboard,  *
*Bob. Customer: What do you mean ?  *
*Tech Support: 'P' . . .. on your keyboard,  Bob. *
*Customer: I AM NOT GOING TO DO  THAT!!! 
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This outta make you feel better about your computer  skills!*​


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## avrp (Jan 25, 2015)

LOL I can relate to some of those!


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## Pappy (Jan 25, 2015)

Good ones, Ken.


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