# My grandmother keeps watching tv to pass the time, how do i convince her to do something else?



## paulbidner (Mar 28, 2022)

my grandmother is 77 and she was aging in place on her terms, but now she hurt her hip and is basically chairbound. her roommate (and in-law and good friend) also moved out like 3 months ago and so i noticed she started getting lonely, and basically is now watching tv all day (mostly the news)

any suggestions for what she could do instead? i feel like she's cognitively atrophying a bit and watching tv all day can't be good for her... any suggestions?


----------



## Bellbird (Mar 28, 2022)

Is there any social agencies in her area, like Age Concern or other group/s that make social or telephone calls during the week to befriend her, or just a caller, if she wants.


----------



## Packerjohn (Mar 28, 2022)

A couch potato is not a good way to live.  Sitting in front of that "idiot" box and cheap baby-sitter  will eventually turn her mind into something like mush (read dementia/Alzheimer's).  Life is short and life is precious.  There are plenty of senior centers around.  Join one.  Take a walk in the park once she gets something done with that hip.  How about a cruise for singles, if you got the money.  Maybe she could use a friend to do things with (male or female).  Join a church group if your religious.  Lots to do if she puts her mind to it.  However, I would not recommend her to try zip lining or bungee jumping.


----------



## Silent Rose (Mar 28, 2022)

Does your grandmother have any hobbies that would not require walking because you said she hurt her hip. Something such as sewing or knitting or any other craft like projects(painting, drawing).


----------



## paulbidner (Mar 28, 2022)

zip lining would not be ideal!! haha


----------



## helenbacque (Mar 28, 2022)

Surely at that age, she has earned the right to do as she pleases.  Gently encourage her to do more but don't badger her.


----------



## Manatee (Mar 28, 2022)

Teach her to use a computer.  There are many forums where someone can interact with others.   I am 88 and find many interesting sites.


----------



## paulbidner (Mar 28, 2022)

since she's chair bound i think things from her computer (as long as they're interactive) could help too. i'll tell her bout these forums so she can make friends on here, if that happens alot on this website? i think she just wants people to talk to and be proactive rather than just sit passively and watch tv you know?


----------



## Silent Rose (Mar 28, 2022)

paulbidner said:


> since she's chair bound i think things from her computer (as long as they're interactive) could help too. i'll tell her bout these forums so she can make friends on here, if that happens alot on this website? i think she just wants people to talk to and be proactive rather than just sit passively and watch tv you know?


I just turned 50 back in February and 50 is the age where you can join this forum. I am also very new here and I would definitely tell your grandmother about this forum here.


----------



## paulbidner (Mar 28, 2022)

Manatee said:


> Teach her to use a computer.  There are many forums where someone can interact with others.   I am 88 and find many interesting sites.


any recommendations? she loves history and mahjong? any easy ways for her to find out about forums by group? or message people directly within her area (in los angeles area)? thank you to everyone for these helpful suggestions!


----------



## paulbidner (Mar 28, 2022)

helenbacque said:


> Surely at that age, she has earned the right to do as she pleases.  Gently encourage her to do more but don't badger her.


true! it's tough to find that balance between being helpful but at the same time not nudging in an annoying way


----------



## MountainRa (Mar 28, 2022)

Would she find jigsaw puzzles or adult coloring books too childish?
I like them. But my Mom , age 88, would have no interest in them.
Fortunately, she is still an avid reader and bird watcher.


----------



## paulbidner (Mar 28, 2022)

she loves to read, are there any book clubs online for seniors?


----------



## Gaer (Mar 28, 2022)

Well, OP, If your Grandmother is in her 70's, this means your Mother is in her 50's, and you are probably in your 30's.  Right?


----------



## ronaldj (Mar 28, 2022)

be there for her


----------



## bingo (Mar 28, 2022)

sit beside  her...hug her and then  talk to her about your  concerns...she may need  time to make that  happen


----------



## Geezerette (Mar 28, 2022)

In what way did she hurt her hip? Did she have medical care for it, or physical therapy? A lot of that can be co ended by Medicare with the eight medical orders.  It’s amazing what can be accomplished with the right care,  but the patient has to be willing to participate and be a little uncomfortable at times. if she is sitting all the time what does she do for groceries, housekeeping, all the basic necessities. She should also be checked ht medically and for depression. 
Even tho she wants to age in place sometimes the right Senior housing or assisted living can promote a change for the better.


----------



## dobielvr (Mar 28, 2022)

Plant a little garden for her.  One where she won't have to be stooping down, make it more on her level.
That will give her reason to get outside more and breath some fresh air.  Check on her vegs, and lift her spirits.

And, now is the perfect time.


----------



## JonSR77 (Mar 28, 2022)

seems like you really should meet with a health professional familiar with elderly issues.

And the professional would assess a range of things...like her hearing, pain level, injuries, medical problems, cognitive difficulties.

I would imagine a full review of her medical profile would be advisable in order to determine how to approach the issue.


----------



## Murrmurr (Mar 28, 2022)

paulbidner said:


> she loves to read, are there any book clubs online for seniors?


Just go to your search engine and enter social sites for seniors, online senior forums, online senior book clubs, plus online social forums for cooking, gardening, grandparents...whatever she's into.


----------



## jujube (Mar 28, 2022)

Bring her here. We'll keep her busy!


----------



## Murrmurr (Mar 28, 2022)

dobielvr said:


> Plant a little garden for her.  One where she won't have to be stooping down, make it more on her level.
> That will give her reason to get outside more and breath some fresh air.  Check on her vegs, and lift her spirits.
> 
> And, now is the perfect time.


Or, alternatively, it could be an indoor garden. Potted veggies on a shelf unit.


----------



## Marie5656 (Mar 28, 2022)

dobielvr said:


> Plant a little garden for her.  One where she won't have to be stooping down, make it more on her level.
> That will give her reason to get outside more and breath some fresh air.  Check on her vegs, and lift her spirits.
> 
> And, now is the perfect time.


If you got or built her a raised flower bed, she could tend to it herself


----------



## Murrmurr (Mar 28, 2022)

Gaer said:


> Well, OP, If your Grandmother is in her 70's, this means your Mother is in her 50's, and you are probably in your 30's.  Right?


I've always thought it would be cool to have a forum where younger people can ask us old people questions. "Ask an Oldie" or whatever.


----------



## Murrmurr (Mar 28, 2022)

Marie5656 said:


> If you got or built her a raised flower bed, she could tend to it herself
> 
> View attachment 215064


I had 4 of those in my yard when I had a house. This was after I injured my back. It was great!


----------



## Marie5656 (Mar 28, 2022)

paulbidner said:


> any recommendations? she loves history and mahjong? any easy ways for her to find out about forums by group? or message people directly within her area (in los angeles area)? thank you to everyone for these helpful suggestions!


Did you say you got her a computer?  There is a game site called Pogo.com.  They have solitaire, card games, majong and such. There are limited free game, but if she can afford it, she can pay an annual fee to join Club Pogo for more games.
Also, send her to this site.  Internet Archive: Digital Library of Free & Borrowable Books, Movies, Music & Wayback Machine

If there is a nearby senior center, that would help.


----------



## dobielvr (Mar 28, 2022)

Marie5656 said:


> If you got or built her a raised flower bed, she could tend to it herself
> 
> View attachment 215064


Exactly  what I was thinking of.

I'd like to have one like that myself.


----------



## dobielvr (Mar 28, 2022)

Murrmurr said:


> I had 4 of those in my yard when I had a house. This was after I injured my back. It was great!


There was a kid of FB market place making and selling those last year.

I just reached out to him about 10 days ago, but he's not making them anymore.
He was selling various sizes starting at $20.

Do you think they'd be hard to make?  I'd like to try.  Girl power!


----------



## officerripley (Mar 28, 2022)

I don't play mah jong but they have the game on one of my favorite (free) sites, solitaireparadise.com. And goodreads.com is a great site for readers. Good luck.


----------



## RadishRose (Mar 28, 2022)

Also, spend time with her. Take her out to eat as often as you can. Ask her to tell you stories about how it was to be a hippie.


----------



## Lara (Mar 28, 2022)

My mother only watched golf tournaments on TV.  Otherwise we would do Crossword Puzzles together, play Scrabble, Connect Four, Jenga, Double Solitaire...she was always playing single Solitaire on her own. Always had a deck of cards out.

She had a little easel set up on the kitchen counter with her paints and brushes in one of the kitchen drawers...and would occasionally walk by and dabble a bit with it here and there. She would practice her calligraphy and do her own greeting cards to mail to friends. She would draw flowers and vines with her ink pen and then color them in with her watercolors.

She would water her plants on the deck, fill the bird feeder, and fill the birdbath. Then she would sit in her window and enjoy all the activity from the birds. They really knocked themselves out to entertain her.

She would cut out her favorite cartoons from the newspaper and paste them in a journal. The neighborhood children would come over and enjoy the cartoons with her. Before she passed away she made sure the children picked out their favorite cartoon booklet to take home for keeps.  

She would do quite a bit of reading as well and took extremely good care of her books. We would do stretching exercises together. She wasn't wheelchair bound but if she was we still could have done stretching exercises.

We would often visit local pottery and art shows. She would always make little purchases to support them.

Thank you @paulbidner for this thread because I haven't taken the time to record all these activities she did before now. There were more but I won't overstay my welcome


----------



## RadishRose (Mar 28, 2022)

Lara said:


> She would cut out her favorite cartoons from the newspaper and paste them in a journal. The neighborhood children would come over and enjoy the cartoons with her. Before she passed away she made sure the children picked out their favorite cartoon booklet to take home for keeps.


I love this!


----------



## Aunt Bea (Mar 29, 2022)

What did she do before that she is unable to do now?

Spend time with her, maybe play cards, bring in lunch, go for a drive, sit and watch Judge Judy with her.

Talk to other family members about doing the same thing, even if it's only a quick telephone call every few days.

Finally, be prepared to accept the fact that this may be the beginning of a new phase in her life.

Good luck to both of you!


----------



## feywon (Mar 29, 2022)

paulbidner said:


> since she's chair bound i think things from her computer (as long as they're interactive) could help too. i'll tell her bout these forums so she can make friends on here, if that happens alot on this website? i think she just wants people to talk to and be proactive rather than just sit passively and watch tv you know?


That sounds like a good idea.
I would also introduce her You Tube  if she's not familiar with it. We get on TV via Roku, our streaming device. Don't just *tell* her, sit with her for a while and show her the variety of things she can watch via YT, including crucial news highlights. But there are a huge number of YT channels that foster a good mood: animal stories, acts of kindness between humans; there are also trivia games that can exercise the brain.

I somewhat agree with @helenbacque that she's earned the right to live as she wishes, but disagree with comments that TV is an 'idiot box', it is a device, a tool--same as computer and it is all in how you use it. There are many educatonal, life affirming and interesting things to watch.

You grandmother is only 2 years older than i am. I have to pace myself because i have sciatica and bad knees, and my endurance isn't what it once was but i still split and stack firewood, do yard work, household chores and some minor household repairs.  I'm an early riser so after breakfast and checking in on here i spend 2-4 hrs a day 5-6 days a week doing various necessary chores, and bits and pieces of projects.

After i take daughter to work at 2pm i usually split my time between reading a book (usually non-fiction these days), this forum and watching TV.  Another use of YT is listening to music while doing housework or just for fun of it--from classical to the music of my youth to country to modern popular music - i can find whatever I want to listen to any time. On DD's day off there are some series and Movies we watch together and talk about  like the new Star Trek shows, Discovery and Picard.

In my Psychology of Aging class (taken when i was working on BA in my late 40's) confirmed my own feelings that if you quit learning, quit engaging life is when you seem to really 'age' rapidly. Heavy, daily socializing not required for all-- introverts are perhaps the best able to deal with how our culture tends to marginalize older folks--because we have always been self motivated to stay informed, to learn and amuse ourselves.


----------



## feywon (Mar 29, 2022)

Marie5656 said:


> Did you say you got her a computer?  There is a game site called Pogo.com.  They have solitaire, card games, majong and such. There are limited free game, but if she can afford it, she can pay an annual fee to join Club Pogo for more games.
> Also, send her to this site.  Internet Archive: Digital Library of Free & Borrowable Books, Movies, Music & Wayback Machine
> 
> If there is a nearby senior center, that would help.


There is also FreeRice.com, that has math, languages, geography, art, famous quotes games/quizzes, that use excellent reinforcements:  give you the right answer and repeat ones you missed later so you can use the info, reinforcing what you learned. Plus they donate to UN's End World Hunger fund for every right answer.


----------



## helenbacque (Mar 29, 2022)

Record her memoirs by asking her questions about 'the olden times.'  Most elders like to talk about earlier days. Ask questions about her childhood, or your parents, or even your own.  Ask about her feelings during times of national stress (For instances: civil rights era, Kennedy assassination).   Is anyone in your family interested in genealogy?  Her memories would be a font of information for a family researcher. 

Since she's a reader, get her an e-reader such as a Kindle and then set her up with a library card and an Overdrive account where she can search and download books of her own choosing all free except for price of reader.

Bottom line: keep her brain occupied and active.


----------



## feywon (Mar 29, 2022)

helenbacque said:


> Record her memoirs by asking her questions about 'the olden times.'  Most elders like to talk about earlier days. Ask questions about her childhood, or your parents, or even your own.  Ask about her feelings during times of national stress (For instances: civil rights era, Kennedy assassination).   Is anyone in your family interested in genealogy?  Her memories would be a font of information for a family researcher.
> 
> Since she's a reader, get her an e-reader such as a Kindle and then set her up with a library card and an Overdrive account where she can search and download books of her own choosing all free except for price of reader.
> 
> Bottom line: keep her brain occupied and active.


Excellent suggestions!

 I have always told my kids as much as i know about their ancestors' lives and shared my own experiences. I wish i'd asked more questions of my grandmas, aunts and uncles instead of mostly passively listening when they got to recollecting family stories.


----------



## paulbidner (Mar 29, 2022)

feywon said:


> Excellent suggestions!
> 
> I have always told my kids as much as i know about their ancestors' lives and shared my own experiences. I wish i'd asked more questions of my grandmas, aunts and uncles instead of mostly passively listening when they got to recollecting family stories.


is there a place for my grandma to tell her story?


----------



## paulbidner (Mar 29, 2022)

like she never would've found out about this platform unless i did some internet digging for her...how did people find out about these forums? i want to teach her how to find these types of resources...teach a man to fish so to speak!


----------



## feywon (Mar 29, 2022)

paulbidner said:


> is there a place for my grandma to tell her story?


We have a diary section here which  some are using for that purpose. It will be important for some family member to know  her screen name so y'all can access and download it with her permission either before or after she .passes. 

 Of course  i think that's important any way. My DD knows where to find and access  my various online presences, and has instructions to inform certain groups and individuals should i become incapacitated or i die.  Several of my cyber friends have this arrangement with family, and i  know i appreciated knowing what was going on with someone who's posting frequency changed radically without them saying they were taking a break.


----------



## Ron Stukey (Mar 29, 2022)

Packerjohn said:


> A couch potato is not a good way to live. Sitting in front of that "idiot" box and cheap baby-sitter will eventually turn her mind into something like mush (read dementia/Alzheimer's). Life is short and life is precious. There are plenty of senior centers around. Join one. Take a walk in the park once she gets something done with that hip. How about a cruise for singles, if you got the money. Maybe she could use a friend to do things with (male or female). Join a church group if your religious. Lots to do if she puts her mind to it. However, I would not recommend her to try zip lining or bungee jumping.


Excellent reply Packerjohn.  Good positive suggestions.   Adding on, you don't have to be religious to join a church group - many people "go to church" primarily to meet other people.  Another idea is to carefully consider getting a small dog - if it doesn't create too much effort.  Dogs need to be walked (creating exercise for the hip and body} and create social interaction.


----------



## Kaila (Mar 29, 2022)

Murrmurr said:


> I've always thought it would be cool to have a forum where younger people can ask us old people questions. "Ask an Oldie" or whatever.


And also another forum, where we oldies could ask the young'uns *our* questions! 
Such as, why does new, modern stuff need so many updates and even newer replacements, so soon and often?
And, how do I get my electronic device to turn on?
 Or more importantly, to turn off!


----------



## Kaila (Mar 29, 2022)

Lots of great ideas on this thread, from so many different posters!

Anyone who needs a fresh idea of something to do, could look through these posts and find something interesting that they could add to their routines! 
I plan to do just that! Thanks, everyone!


----------



## FastTrax (Mar 29, 2022)

jujube said:


> Bring her here. We'll keep her busy!



Ditto.

www.seniorforums.com


----------



## hollydolly (Mar 29, 2022)

paulbidner said:


> like she never would've found out about this platform unless i did some internet digging for her...how did people find out about these forums? i want to teach her how to find these types of resources...teach a man to fish so to speak!


Simply type in 'senior chat forums' into a search engine . Not all are good, this is by far the best... and it's important that she stays away from Fakebook , but a chat forum like this would be ideal for her.

How about you discuss it with her.. then if she's up for it, you sign her up, explain how it all works then introduce her ... and we'll take it from there.

She may now be so entrenched in being alone she'll find it hard to make the first move to make friends, so please help her get started here on this forum, show her how to register with a chosen name, how to post and how to navigate the forum of all it's topics. We have many subjects on here from General  chit chat to..photography, ...to financial advice...  to  music forums where you can listen to or post  your favourite  music...to word games, ..all totally free,  and once she's got her confidence up  and later  if she wants to go and enjoy other forums or game forums, she'll feel more confident in doing so... 

She's in her 70's, that's really not old these days, but she will become very old very fast if she doesn't get her mind and body  active again..... you sound very caring so do spend time with her just you and her or any other family members too, even if it's only sitting and chatting about something you know she enjoys...or take her out every so often, whether  for a meal, or to the park or beach..or the store.. something so she doesn't feel no-one cares, and she's left with nothing but a box in the corner for a friend..


----------



## Packerjohn (Mar 30, 2022)

Kaila said:


> And also another forum, where we oldies could ask the young'uns *our* questions!
> Such as, why does new, modern stuff need so many updates and even newer replacements, so soon and often?
> And, how do I get my electronic device to turn on?
> Or more importantly, to turn off!


Good question here about updates and replacements.  I had an eye appointment a few days ago.  There was a technician fixing some sort of machine.  My eye doctor said that he paid over $100,000 (Canadian) for that machine.  It had a 1 year warranty.  As soon as the warranty ended the machine broke down and would no longer work.  I told him that he should have got an extended warranty but I don't think my doctor thought my comment was funny and after I got home I did not think it was very kind of me to joke about it.  Professional equipment are very expensive but they should not break down as soon as the warranty runs out.


----------



## paulbidner (Mar 30, 2022)

hollydolly said:


> Simply type in 'senior chat forums' into a search engine . Not all are good, this is by far the best... and it's important that she stays away from Fakebook , but a chat forum like this would be ideal for her.
> 
> How about you discuss it with her.. then if she's up for it, you sign her up, explain how it all works then introduce her ... and we'll take it from there.
> 
> ...


hey holly, will show her how to properly google things out of her browser, i guess that's how folks found out about this forum too...why do you say 'fakebook'? is it a bad resource compared to something like this? by the way, the responses here/help has been amazing! thank you!


----------



## paulbidner (Mar 30, 2022)

paulbidner said:


> hey holly, will show her how to properly google things out of her browser, i guess that's how folks found out about this forum too...why do you say 'fakebook'? is it a bad resource compared to something like this? by the way, the responses here/help has been amazing! thank you!


also why is this one the best forum in your opinion compared to the others, facebook, etc?


----------



## paulbidner (Mar 30, 2022)

hollydolly said:


> Simply type in 'senior chat forums' into a search engine . Not all are good, this is by far the best... and it's important that she stays away from Fakebook , but a chat forum like this would be ideal for her.
> 
> How about you discuss it with her.. then if she's up for it, you sign her up, explain how it all works then introduce her ... and we'll take it from there.
> 
> ...


sorry i wasnt sure if it posted holly, but why is this one typically the best forum compared to others we could google for her, facebook, etc?


----------



## AprilSun (Mar 30, 2022)

paulbidner said:


> hey holly, will show her how to properly google things out of her browser, i guess that's how folks found out about this forum too...why do you say 'fakebook'? is it a bad resource compared to something like this? by the way, the responses here/help has been amazing! thank you!


That's how I found this site. I did a search using Google for "Senior forums" and this site was in the results.


----------



## paulbidner (Mar 30, 2022)

Manatee said:


> Teach her to use a computer.  There are many forums where someone can interact with others.   I am 88 and find many interesting sites.


which ones do you recommend?


----------



## RadishRose (Mar 30, 2022)

https://www.seniorliving.org/internet/websites/
A 2022 List of Websites Dedicated to Seniors​ 
                                     Updated March 16, 2022


----------



## Manatee (Mar 30, 2022)

As an 88 year old male, I will likely have very different interests from a 77 year old lady.
I look at this one, plus City Data and one for my car.  

I have to guard against spending excess time online.


----------



## Remy (Mar 30, 2022)

A tablet if she has wi-fi. I don't have one. Would like to because they are so easy to handle. 

Reading (of coarse) puzzle books, word search, object finding, spot the difference books. 

Sounds like she does have mobility issues. She could interact on forums. It can be harder if you are younger since many are geared to younger.


----------



## Jan14 (Mar 30, 2022)

My mom is 89 years old.  4 years ago she kind of  gave up after my brother died.  She lost interest in things she used to enjoy doing.  She now just watches tv most of the day.  When weather permits she does sit outside and visit with the neighbors.  She really enjoys television.  We have suggested everything to her, but this is what she wants to do.  I think she naps a lot during the day.  It’s her life after all.  She’s free to live it as she sees fit.


----------



## FastTrax (Mar 30, 2022)

Interesting that you just joined SF and harass a well known member in good standing about "Facebooks" global nickname "Fakebook" without even knowing why people make that remark. So with that having been said I call Mark Zuckerberg's 2014 "WhatsApp" acquisition "WhatsUp". Feel free to engage me.

www.facebook.com

www.facebook.com/zuck

www.whatsapp.com

www.troyhazard.com/fakebook/

www.thoughtsonlifeandlove.com/facebook-or-fakebook/10160/

https://nakedsecurity.sophos.com/20...k-in-the-spotlight-what-to-tell-your-friends/

www.linkedin.com/pulse/facebook-fakebook-m-bilal-shaikh

www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Fakebook

www.revolutionarypaideia.com/2011/01/13/facebook-is-becoming-fakebook-2/

www.fakebookfriends.com/#home-1

www.classtools.net/fb/83/MUDS4m

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Facebook

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_Facebook

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mark_Zuckerberg

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/WhatsApp


----------



## fuzzybuddy (Mar 31, 2022)

You might be concerned about the wrong thing. If she is "chair bound" what is she supposed to do? Old ladies and broken hips are not a good combination. You didn't mention what kind of care she is getting for the hip.  That's priority #1. If there's a possibility of her getting back on her feet, definitely encourage her to do so. If she is permanently "chair bound", she doesn't have many options.
And, are you implying that since her roommate left, she may be depressed, which is why she watches so much  tv. Depression just doesn't go away. If that's what you think, encourage her to get therapy.


----------



## Packerjohn (Apr 1, 2022)

Sitting all day watching the "idiot box" is really for losers!  You need her to become "pro-active."  (Oh, those lovely words).  If she isn't loaded with tons of money and really can't go on a cruise or fly off to Europe for a month or so, there are many free or very reasonable costing activities.  For example, lots of good books in the library, join a senior for coffee and "shoot the bull."  I know a couple of seniors who love playing cards and do so twice each week.  These same seniors love to make wine.  A walk outside or in a park costs nothing but it will repay her handsomely when it comes to mental and physical health. 

I'm not a big believer in volunteering but some seniors do it and love it.  They feel useful and they do some good for their community.  Some seniors have even taken up playing an instrument.  In our local senior center there are groups that play the recorder together, another group for the harmonica and a 3rd group that call themselves, "Drums Alive."  Oh yes, a 4th group plays simple ukulele songs.
Anything is better than slowly dying in front of those endless mind destroying commercials.


----------



## Nathan (Apr 1, 2022)

paulbidner said:


> true! it's tough to find that balance between being helpful but at the same time not nudging in an annoying way


+1 for truth.  My wife is very sedentary and is not in-tune with healthy eating choices.  It is a challenge to motivate her without making her stubburn kick in.  I don't want to be _"that"_ nagging spouse, but neither do I want to be widowed.


----------



## OneEyedDiva (Apr 1, 2022)

Watching T.V. all day, *especially* the news, is absolutely not good for her! I had the same issue with my mom who as she aged (she was older than your grandmother is by then), just sat and watched T.V. all day, most days. She was into game shows. She did go to a senior center twice a week though where they did exercises and sometimes took day trips. My mother loved to go to Atlantic City to gamble and she went to church until she could no longer maneuver the stairs.  People in her apartment building ran bus rides to AC but at some point they hardly ran the busses. By the time she was about 94, she wound up having to go into a nursing home.

Do you think she's be interested in adult coloring books? What about playing games on a tablet or device. Some of those games require strategy and brain power for sure. One can become quite engaged. If she has a computer or tablet, joining this forum is a good idea @jujube. There are interesting threads and people as well as much to learn. I'm sure she could contribute knowledge too and that helps us feel useful.


----------



## Sunny (Apr 14, 2022)

I doubt that anyone ever changes their life style, habits, sources of entertainment, etc. just because someone - even a loving member of their family - thinks they should do so.  If she is not doing anything dangerous or harmful to others, let her be. You might (one time) mention some other activity that you enjoy doing, and think she might also, and after that, what she does with that information is her own business.


----------



## Tabby Ann (Aug 18, 2022)

Manatee said:


> Teach her to use a computer. There are many forums where someone can interact with others. I am 88 and find many interesting sites.


At last some practical advice from someone who has actually tried what they are recommending and found success with it. There are always so many impractical suggestions from people who aren't in similar circumstances and have never tried what they are suggesting.


----------



## Tabby Ann (Aug 18, 2022)

helenbacque said:


> Surely at that age, she has earned the right to do as she pleases. Gently encourage her to do more but don't badger her.


I wonder what all the people making suggestions are doing with their time that is so much more important than what she is doing? There is much foolishness and useless activity going on in the world.


----------



## NorthernLight (Aug 19, 2022)

So much depends on the individual. Not everyone likes coffee shops or going for drives. Personally I hate gardening and crafts. Card games at the senior center are fine, but not during Covid times (for me anyway).

Some years ago, someone recommended coloring books, but the coloring hurt my wrist. I've tried various kinds of volunteer work, and I wouldn't recommend it, especially if a person has mobility issues. Again, this is my own personal take.

My neighbor wants to be friendly, but she wants someone to go out and do things with. I'd rather hang out on the porch or something.

But I'm not a complete party pooper. I host an online quiz game twice a week. I enjoy doing it, and the participants appreciate it. The preparation is interesting too, and takes quite a lot of time.

I practice my Spanish 5 times a week with a young man in Central America (via Telegram).

For years I've been active in a forum that's mostly young people. They are great, and it seems strange to realize that most are 30-50 years my junior. I joined Seniors Forum because I need support for aging concerns as well.

My point, if I have one, is that one person's good time might not suit another.


----------



## WheatenLover (Aug 19, 2022)

NVM


----------



## WheatenLover (Aug 19, 2022)

The OP hasn't posted since April 1.


----------



## NorthernLight (Aug 19, 2022)

It's still a topic.


----------



## WheatenLover (Aug 19, 2022)

NorthernLight said:


> It's still a topic.


Yes it is. I had posted to be helpful to the OP and realized he would not be here to read it, is all.


----------



## win231 (Aug 19, 2022)

If she's happy, I don't see a problem.  She may not feel well enough to do much more.
Sooner or later, we'll all get there.  And we won't be playing much tennis.


----------



## caroln (Aug 19, 2022)

Murrmurr said:


> I've always thought it would be cool to have a forum where younger people can ask us old people questions. "Ask an Oldie" or whatever.


If I recall correctly, not too long ago a young man came to this forum to ask a question and got trounced on pretty hard.  I don't remember what he asked but he was definitely informed he wasn't to be here until he was older.


----------



## Meanderer (Aug 19, 2022)

WheatenLover said:


> The OP hasn't posted since April 1.


April Fools! 

It's funny how Grandmothers mold and shape their grandchildren...not the other way around.  There is nothing wrong with a "chair bound" 77 year old woman who likes watching TV.  Maybe Paul is her problem?


----------



## Gaer (Aug 19, 2022)

You guys act like 77 is decrepit!  If she wanted to do something, she would do it.
She doesn't want a flower bed!
Let her be!


----------



## RadishRose (Aug 19, 2022)

Marie5656 said:


> If you got or built her a raised flower bed, she could tend to it herself
> 
> View attachment 215064


What is he doing with that shovel and boots at a raised garden?


----------



## Packerjohn (Aug 19, 2022)

I am now searching for an apartment where people are active.  Presently, I live in what I call "the land of the living dead."  Pass someone's door at 10 am, 12 noon or 2 pm and you hear the TV on.  No one walks outside unless a relative comes to take them out some place.  The common room is pretty well abandoned.  I think they are waiting for the ambulance to come and take them away to the hospital and then to the cremation service.  No coffee time here.  The concept of "Happy Hour" on Friday afternoon is about as alien concept as mountain climbing on the prairies.  Many of these little ole' ladies have artificial flowers by their doors and little signs that say "live, love, laugh."  I see very little love here, no one laughs and if you call this living, then you are in the same boat that they are.  I think this is a sad way to end your life.


----------



## NorthernLight (Aug 19, 2022)

@Packerjohn  I wish you luck. Is an all-ages building a possibility?


----------



## Myquest55 (Aug 19, 2022)

Hi Paulbinder and welcome,  You asked, on page one, about an online bookclub.  My sister has talked about *GoodReads.com* .  She has a Kindle electronic reader but we both read regular books too.  I haven't joined that site but she has recommended several "clubs" there.   

One book I recommend is "The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen at 83-1/4 yrs old"  It is about a gentleman in a Care Home in North Amsterdam,The Netherlands.  He begins a diary to write an expose' and he is remarkably clever about describing his surroundings and fellow "inmates".  He does his best to stay positive and upbeat.  It is very amusing and might inspire her to consider her situation with a different outlook.?  (You might enjoy it too!)  There are also online crosswords or other puzzles that can be printed out or done online. 

I hope you can brighten her outlook!  Take her out in the sunshine


----------



## dko1951 (Aug 20, 2022)

paulbidner said:


> my grandmother is 77 and she was aging in place on her terms, but now she hurt her hip and is basically chairbound. her roommate (and in-law and good friend) also moved out like 3 months ago and so i noticed she started getting lonely, and basically is now watching tv all day (mostly the news)
> 
> any suggestions for what she could do instead? i feel like she's cognitively atrophying a bit and watching tv all day can't be good for her... any suggestions?


I would refer you to the thread "Do your children try to run your life?" She's doing what she wants. Not your problem.


----------



## Tabby Ann (Aug 20, 2022)

paulbidner said:


> any suggestions for what she could do instead? i feel like she's cognitively atrophying a bit and watching tv all day can't be good for her... any suggestions?


I feel like half the people I meet who are working full time in public places are cognitively atrophied. I can understand being 77 years old with a damaged hip would make it painful for her to walk and be more comfortable in a bed or chair. As far as watching TV, it's less destructive than what a lot of people are doing who are out and about. You reach an age where you see the futility in most people's frenzied activities.


----------



## Tabby Ann (Aug 20, 2022)

Packerjohn said:


> There are plenty of senior centers around. Join one. Take a walk in the park once she gets something done with that hip. How about a cruise for singles, if you got the money. Maybe she could use a friend to do things with (male or female). Join a church group if your religious. Lots to do if she puts her mind to it.


How many of these things are you doing? And are you 77 with a damaged hip?


----------



## Packerjohn (Aug 21, 2022)

Tabby Ann said:


> How many of these things are you doing? And are you 77 with a damaged hip?


Most folks around here have hip and also, knee replacements and just keep going.  Apparently, talking to many of them, the knee replacements are harder to live with then the hip.  I saw the room in the hospital when my late wife had her hip replaced.  They are working like an assembly line in there with them folks each morning.  The doctor comes around and puts an X on your hip (to make sure that the correct side is done) and away you go.  A little nap and you wake up in your room with a new "ball and socket" in your hip.  Technology is great when it benefits us; not so good when it doesn't.


----------



## Blessed (Aug 21, 2022)

If she has a hip problem she needs to see a doctor.  She may need a hip replacement. I know I was having a lot of pain with my hip.  They just kept giving me muscle relaxers and antiinflammatories. This was all during covid. By the time I finally had a MRI, the joint was totally shattered.  Getting a new hip was a vacation compared to the pain I had before it.


----------

