# The Beauty of Childbirth



## SandyR (Nov 27, 2022)




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## Capt Lightning (Dec 7, 2022)

Quite amusing.  I was present at the birth of my children, the first at the local cottage hospital  and the next two, at home.  I never fainted although the midwife kept asking if I was going to.


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## Mr. Ed (Dec 7, 2022)

I was in the delivery room for both of my daughters and fainted both times. The Art of Manliness.


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## Pepper (Dec 7, 2022)

I was present at the birth of my children and I wish I had fainted.  No such luck, awake for the whole damn thing.


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## hollydolly (Dec 7, 2022)

Pepper said:


> I was present at the birth of my children and I wish I had fainted.  No such luck, awake for the whole damn thing.


..and me ...3 whole days of agony... in which I never ate anything...  57 hours in Labour... 52 stitches...


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## Pappy (Dec 7, 2022)

Back a hundred years ago, nurses wouldn’t let me go to the delivery room. I have always regretted that as I would have loved to see my children born. Stupid rules back then.


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## Della (Dec 7, 2022)

Pepper said:


> I was present at the birth of my children and I wish I had fainted.  No such luck, awake for the whole damn thing.


My labor only lasted a couple of hours and through the whole thing I kept thinking that I never would have guessed you could feel pain like that and not pass out.  Poor Holly and all those long-labor heroes.  

I also kept wondering why any woman had more than one child.


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## Ronni (Dec 7, 2022)

5 kids, all born at home. No drugs. Natural childbirth. Fantastic doctor and support staff, I couldn’t have asked for a better experience!


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## jujube (Dec 7, 2022)

It was just me, the doctor and a male corpsman.  I could have used a little female sympathy.  Thank heavens for spinal blocks.

When my granddaughter was born, I was on "lower" duty as the guys (her husband and father) were staying at the top of the bed turning pale.  The doctor asked, "Who wants to catch?"  They didn't and I did. So I gloved up and she was born into my hands.  I think that's why we're so close.  My daughter was having breathing problems from the anesthesia, so I sat in a rocking chair holding the baby for the first two hours.


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## NorthernLight (Dec 7, 2022)

I definitely did not want "natural childbirth." I thought they'd knock me out and the baby would come out. Like in my mother's day.

No such luck. They kept yelling at me to "breathe" (I was breathing, like any living person) and "push" (no idea what that meant).

They wouldn't give me anything until they could "see the baby's head." When they did, the epidural didn't take. They finally gave me laughing gas, which did work.

Many years later a friend asked me, "Why didn't you inform yourself?" I thought I did! I thought that eschewing natural childbirth would spare me all that.

As for having a relative in the delivery room -- ew, no.


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## Chet (Dec 7, 2022)

All I gotta' say is, I'm glad I'm a guy.


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## Pinky (Dec 7, 2022)

We went to pre-natal classes together with other couples. Then, a day after a doctor's appointment, the
hospital called for me to go in immediately. After waiting around for several hours, I was given a caesarean.
I couldn't hold my daughter until the following morning, which made me cry .. but her dad was there to hold
her after she was born.


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## Della (Dec 7, 2022)

Fathers  weren't allowed in the delivery room at that time, which was just as well because my husband couldn't even be bothered to stay in the labor room, he was down the hall smoking the whole time as was tradition at that point. 

 My own family was in another state and that was all just fine with me -- until my husband called his father and step-mother, who I barely knew, and so I had to make polite conversation with them in between pains.

My biggest problem was that I had checked "breast feeding"  and most of the nurses didn't notice that and kept giving my baby a bottle so he was never hungry when he got to me.  One told me later that I was the first woman to breast feed there in thirty years.  This meant I had to stay in the hospital for five days until my milk came in to the doctor's satisfaction.  We had no insurance at the time.  My son was four years old before we got him paid off.


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## hollydolly (Dec 7, 2022)

No-one was with me for the whole 3 days I was in Labour , my ex husband was at Sea with the Royal Navy.... he couldn't get compassionate leave until the following Saturday...

One of my sisters had a caesarian.... her ex  husband ''the woose'' was with her.. and he got so upset and hysterical  he locked himself in the toilets.. the nursing staff had to beg him to come out......good thing he wasn't at my natural birth.. he'd probably have cut his throat..


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## Murrmurr (Dec 7, 2022)

Chet said:


> All I gotta' say is, I'm glad I'm a guy.


Yeah but the guy is the one _watching_. She doesn't have a good view of what's happening. If she did, she'd probably strangle you soon as she could.

Fathers weren't allowed in delivery rooms when my kids were born. I watched a few of my g-kids be born, though. Well, kind of. The first one taught me when it was a good time to check the floor, look at my watch, tie my shoe...


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## Murrmurr (Dec 7, 2022)

hollydolly said:


> No-one was with me for the whole 3 days I was in Labour , my ex husband was at Sea with the Royal Navy.... he couldn't get compassionate leave until the following Saturday...
> 
> One of my sisters had a caesarian.... her ex  husband ''the woose'' was with her.. and he got so upset and hysterical  he locked himself in the toilets.. the nursing staff had to beg him to come out......good thing he wasn't at my natural birth.. he'd probably have cut his throat..


"compassionate leave"  That's so British.

Typically American is that we called it "maternity leave" and then stood in a daze when someone asked "But what about the dads?"


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## JaniceM (Dec 7, 2022)

hollydolly said:


> No-one was with me for the whole 3 days I was in Labour , my ex husband was at Sea with the Royal Navy.... he couldn't get compassionate leave until the following Saturday...
> 
> One of my sisters had a caesarian.... her ex  husband ''the woose'' was with her.. and he got so upset and hysterical  he locked himself in the toilets.. the nursing staff had to beg him to come out......good thing he wasn't at my natural birth.. he'd probably have cut his throat..


Took awhile, but you mean he was a WUSS?


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## hollydolly (Dec 7, 2022)

Murrmurr said:


> "compassionate leave"  That's so British.
> 
> Typically American is that we called it "maternity leave" and then stood in a daze when someone asked "But what about the dads?"


Nowadays it's called Paternity leave and  women get around 9 month to One  year  paid Maternity leave after the child is born.. and the fathers get 2 weeks..

None of that when I had mine..


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## hollydolly (Dec 7, 2022)

JaniceM said:


> Took awhile, but you mean he was a WUSS?


ah yes couldn't remember how to spell it..lol


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## JaniceM (Dec 7, 2022)

hollydolly said:


> ah yes couldn't remember how to spell it..lol


It took me a few minutes, too!


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## hollydolly (Dec 7, 2022)

Murrmurr said:


> Yeah but the guy is the one _watching_. She doesn't have a good view of what's happening. If she did, she'd probably strangle you soon as she could.
> 
> Fathers weren't allowed in delivery rooms when my kids were born. I watched a few of my g-kids be born, though. Well, kind of. The first one taught me when it was a good time to check the floor, look at my watch, tie my shoe...


wonder why ...! You're the same age as me Frank.. and the guys were allowed in the delivery rooms when  my sister and I were giving birth ( in the 70's )... I was the only one out of them who had no-one there..


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## Ken N Tx (Dec 7, 2022)

#7 Great Grandchild on the way!!Come June..


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## Capt Lightning (Dec 7, 2022)

Do you have male midwives in the US?  They're rare in the UK, but there's nothing to stop male nurses applying to train as midwives.
Before anyone says it's midWIFE, bear in mind that it derives from the old English _mid wif - _literally, with the woman - someone who assists a woman through pregnancy and childbirth.  Not sure what Mrs L would have thought about a male midwife,  but I have no issues with seeing a female GP or surgeon.


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## JaniceM (Dec 7, 2022)

Capt Lightning said:


> Do you have male midwives in the US?  They're rare in the UK, but there's nothing to stop male nurses applying to train as midwives.
> Before anyone says it's midWIFE, bear in mind that it derives from the old English _mid wif - _literally, with the woman - someone who assists a woman through pregnancy and childbirth.  Not sure what mrs L would have thought, but I have no issues with seeing a female GP or surgeon.


Yes..  I had a male nurse-midwife for the birth of my last child.


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## Della (Dec 7, 2022)

Ken N Tx said:


> #7 Great Grandchild on the way!!Come June..


Now you're just making me jealous, Ken.  My son has no wife or children and my brothers married, but had no children, so our line ends here.  I keep hoping some desperate young woman will leave a baby on my doorstep.


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## Ken N Tx (Dec 7, 2022)

Della said:


> Now you're just making me jealous, Ken.  My son has no wife or children and my brothers married, but had no children, so our line ends here.  I keep hoping some desperate young woman will leave a baby on my doorstep.


We are happy for my son and his wife, they are in their late 50's and have been waiting for a long time!!


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## DaveA (Dec 7, 2022)

Pappy said:


> Back a hundred years ago, nurses wouldn’t let me go to the delivery room. I have always regretted that as I would have loved to see my children born. Stupid rules back then.


Same here Pappy but in all truth, back then, I never gave it a second thought. It was the way things were.


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## jujube (Dec 7, 2022)

I only had one child and it was a long time before I was interested in even _thinking_ about having another.

I was in Turkey, we didn't have a full hospital on the base, just a dispensary.  If you had a baby there, there was no full anesthesia available.  So mothers-to-be were sent by small plane to Ankara 10 days to two weeks before their due date.  There was only one flight a week.

My OB said I was nowhere near to delivery but he felt that I should get on the plane going out the following day "just in case".  I did and I went into labor the morning after getting to Ankara.  I was staying in a hotel and thought the first two hours of labor was just bad "gas pains".  When the "gas pains" started coming every five minutes, I decided that I'd just ignore them and maybe they'd go away.  They didn't.  So I got dressed and went down to the lobby to ask them to call the hospital for me.  The Turkish man at the desk said, "No worry, Mama, we never have baby born here yet."  I'm reassured.

An elderly Turkish gentleman comes for me, explains that since there is rioting in the streets (it's the anniversary of the death of Ataturk, so it's a big holiday), the hospital couldn't send the ambulance with U.S. markings on it.  So, he came in an unmarked hearse for me.  Yep, a big black hearse, which he made me get in the back for safety.  So, we're on the way to the military hospital. I can't see anything but I can hear all the sirens and shouting and breaking glass and at one time something hits the side of the hearse.

We get to the hospital, which is a converted old apartment building, and there is no electricity except for the emergency generators that are only being used for surgical and other essential needs.  So, no elevator.  The maternity ward is on the 2nd floor.   Walk up a few steps, clutch the banister until the contraction passes, walk up a few more steps.  Get to the maternity ward and they tell me my records are locked in the office and nobody has the key.  Well, hecky-dern, this baby ain't waiting for records.  I get prepped and then it's time to walk up two more floors to the surgical suite.  Rinse and repeat.

I get an epidural.  My daughter is born, no complications for either of us.  By then, the elevator is working, so I don't have to walk down two flights of steps.  I'm grateful.   I actually only had 4 hours and 45 minutes of labor, including the two hours of "gas pains", so I'm really grateful.

Nursery is run by Corpsmen....all men.  It's supervised by a female corpsman, but that's about all she does....supervise.  They are fantastic.  One big bear of a guy can pick up a baby with one hand.  I get up in the middle of the night one time and see him in the nursery, in a rocking chair holding five babies and singing lullabies.  I feel my daughter is in good hands.

Eight days later, we fly home to Daddy, who is glad to see his girls.  The flight was awful. At one time, I seriously thought we were going to go down in the mountains, never to be seen again.

We decided that one was enough.


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## NorthernLight (Dec 7, 2022)

@jujube  Now that you mention it (mothers-to-be being sent elsewhere to give birth), that's how it is in the town where I live. Expectant mothers are made to "sign a paper." I don't know what the paper says or how it's enforced. Maybe it just lets the local doctors off the hook.

Anyway, the mothers are supposed to go hundreds of kilometers away, a month before their due date. They stay with relatives or in a hotel, or wherever they can. Sometimes the husbands wait with them, but I suppose some have to work.

People keep having babies though.


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## Teacher Terry (Dec 7, 2022)

My youngest son was born in 1980 and that’s the only time my husband was allowed in the delivery room.


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## Wren (Dec 8, 2022)

The beauty of childbirth ? Ah yes I remember it well, 17 years old, 36 hour complicated labour, (so husband not allowed to stay with me)  horrible old nurse yelling at me, and we both nearly died.........is it any wonder she’s an only child !


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## Tish (Dec 8, 2022)

Pepper said:


> I was present at the birth of my children and I wish I had fainted.  No such luck, awake for the whole damn thing.


Me too.


These days the latest craze is too posh to push.


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## Pappy (Dec 8, 2022)

DaveA said:


> Same here Pappy but in all truth, back then, I never gave it a second thought. It was the way things were.


How true Dave. Back then we had to wait in the lobby and smoke a pack of cigarettes, or at least I did.


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## Pepper (Dec 8, 2022)

Murrmurr said:


> Yeah but the guy is the one _watching_. *She doesn't have a good view of what's happening.* If she did, she'd probably strangle you soon as she could.
> 
> Fathers weren't allowed in delivery rooms when my kids were born. I watched a few of my g-kids be born, though. Well, kind of. The first one taught me when it was a good time to check the floor, look at my watch, tie my shoe...


There was a mirror.  I wasn't wearing my glasses so I couldn't see, but in Madison WI in 1980 there was a mirror.

Hub was in room, but the nurse had to drag him in as he was trying on various gowns to get the right fit.  I'm not kidding.  He lost his mind.............from fear, IMO   we never discussed it.


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## Della (Dec 8, 2022)

Jujube wins Best Baby Story!  Hollydolly wins Longest Labor with Wren running a close second.

I love these stories.


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## charry (Dec 8, 2022)

childbirth......wow.........10.4 baby boy, 120 stitches, couldnt sit down for a month ....
he was worth it tho....his skin was beautiful, he was like a 6month old baby ....

very wary with the 2nd son......carried differently, ....but he was 9.4....and i was in labour for 30mins, plus he nearly  flew off the bed 

husband present?  .....no thankyou.......i sent him to football as his team was playing ...


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## Wren (Dec 8, 2022)

Della said:


> Jujube wins Best Baby Story!  Hollydolly wins Longest Labor with Wren running a close second.
> 
> I love these stories.


I forgot  to add, stitched up to my tonsils and then,  they expected me to _breastfeed_ !!

I don’t  think so...


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## charry (Dec 8, 2022)

Wren said:


> I forgot  to add, stitched up to my tonsils and then,  they expected me to _breastfeed_ !!
> 
> I don’t  think so...


I bottle fed !!!!    I saw so many mums trying to breastfeed  with their babies not getting any milk  which turned out all the mums were crying and the babies were screaming OMG


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## Murrmurr (Dec 8, 2022)

hollydolly said:


> wonder why ...! You're the same age as me Frank.. and the guys were allowed in the delivery rooms when  my sister and I were giving birth ( in the 70's )... I was the only one out of them who had no-one there..


We lived up north at the time, and the hospital wasn't very progressive. Or maybe, with 2 lives at stake, they just didn't want any gawkers, vomiters, or fainters getting in the way.....causing distractions, draining resources.

Kind of a funny story; a few years after I moved from there, hospital policy changed, and my cousin who was still living there got to watch his son's birth in that same hospital (the only hospital up there). He told me he passed out during the delivery, and one of the nurses just grabbed him by the foot and dragged his body over near a wall so everyone could back to business. He came to just a few minutes later, but by that time it was over. The same nurse smiled down at him and said, "Get up so you can see your son."


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## Paco Dennis (Dec 8, 2022)




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## Pink Biz (Dec 8, 2022)




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## Murrmurr (Dec 8, 2022)

As witness to a few of my grandkids' birth, I have to say I don't think birth is a beautiful sight. A beautiful _thing_, yes, but I wouldn't describe it as lovely to look at. It's no more beautiful than watching a newborn giraffe just walk away shaking off hitting the ground from 7 feet up. The word for that is amazing. And the sight of a human giving birth is amazing, too, but that word just doesn't capture it. It's freaking surreal, astoundingly impossible, frightening, and gory; it defies logic, and it's life-altering. And I saw all that hit my sons all at once. It's no wonder some men faint or vomit or hyperventilate, especially young men.


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## win231 (Dec 8, 2022)

Pappy said:


> Back a hundred years ago, nurses wouldn’t let me go to the delivery room. I have always regretted that as I would have loved to see my children born. Stupid rules back then.


Be careful what ya wish for.


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## Pappy (Dec 8, 2022)

win231 said:


> Be careful what ya wish for.


It’s okay win. I’ve forgotten how we made them..


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## hollydolly (Dec 8, 2022)

Pappy said:


> It’s okay win. I’ve forgotten how we made them..


yeah...that'll be right... the body might be weak but the mind is always willing...


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## IKE (Dec 8, 2022)

Oct. 71' in VN working as a civilian.

I'd just got in from the field and an older neighbor lady came trotting over and told me as I was unlocking the door that my 1st wife had gone to the private birthing hospital a few hours prior.......the hospital was pretty much just a one story small house with six or eight cubicles and far from modern but it was the best that they had.

Me being dirty, funky and needing a shower badly didn't matter I jumped on the neighbors motorcycle and tore across town to the hospital.......they didn't speak english there and my Vietnamese at the time wasn't all that good so I just kept repeating her name over and over till they understood and they finally got across to me to have a seat.

Apparently they had gone back and told her that I was there and I just paced back and forth while chain smoking cigarettes for what seemed like forever and all of a sudden I hear her scream , "Honey !!"......with nurses trotting behind me telling me in Vietnamese that I wasn't allowed to be back there I went running down the hall opening cubicles curtains along the way and about that time I hear her scream again, "Honey !!" which brought me running to her cubicle and once inside the nurses inside kept telling me to leave but I made it very plain by my actions and tone of voice that I wasn't going anywhere till I knew that my wife was okay.

When I entered they were still holding my son and hadn't yet cut the umbilical cord and as cold as it may sound I wasn't interested in him, I was concerned about my wife being alright......she saw me and gave me a weak smile and told me to go home and come back in the morning but wanting to be near her I spent the night in the waiting room and what little sleep I got was on the floor.

After getting her home the next day she said that the nurses had came and told her that I hadn't left and gone home like she'd ask after giving birth and that I was in the waiting room......she said that just knowing that I was only a few feet away made her feel better and more at ease after the birth.

We haven't seen each other in over thirty years and still remain friends to this day.......my son and three grand kids live in Georgia and my ex lives in southern Texas.

That was my one and only experience with child birth.


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## jujube (Dec 8, 2022)

charry said:


> I bottle fed !!!!    I saw so many mums trying to breastfeed  with their babies not getting any milk  which turned out all the mums were crying and the babies were screaming OMG



I bottle fed, too. 

They gave me a shot to dry up my milk (I hear they don't do that anymore because it's bad for you) but a month later my milk came in anyway. That's when I found out that what I thought was a flat mole on my breast was an "ancillary nipple" with its own milk gland and it was producing milk, too.  

Apparently that would have gotten me hung  as a witch in Salem.  Lucky me I was 5000 miles and 278 years from Massachusetts.


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## win231 (Dec 8, 2022)

I've only watched our cat give birth, when I was 10.  She seemed to be having a great time - during & after.


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## jujube (Dec 8, 2022)

1947.  My mother is pregnant and getting her prenatal care at a hospital clinic because my dad was in college and they didn't have much money.  She saw a different doctor about every visit.

She goes into labor, goes to the hospital, and proceeds to be in labor for 54 hours.  Each doctor comes on duty, attends to her and then passes her on to the next doctor.  Today, the doctor pretty much stays at the hospital during the entire performance so it is in the DOCTOR'S best interest to hurry the procedure along because HE WANTS TO GO HOME!

By the end of the 54 hours, her elbows are bloody from digging into the bed and she has worn a bald spot on the back of her head from thrashing around.  I'm born a dark purple and they fear there's brain damage (the jury is still out on that...LOL).  My mom is about dead from exhaustion.

She loses the next five babies (four miscarriages and one full-term stillbirth) but manages to give successful birth to three more.  

Can you imagine the lawsuit that would ensue today if something like that happened???

My late husband was #9 of 11 kids.  He was born in the hospital parking lot.


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## hollydolly (Dec 9, 2022)

Tish said:


> Me too.
> 
> 
> These days the latest craze is too posh to push.


don't forget the Push Present...


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## JaniceM (Dec 9, 2022)

hollydolly said:


> don't forget the Push Present...


and of course that needs to be explained for those of us who have never heard of it...  ??


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## hollydolly (Dec 9, 2022)

JaniceM said:


> and of course that needs to be explained for those of us who have never heard of it...  ??


oh it's a new thing where women now demand a ''Push present''... for giving birth ..usually Jewellery...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Push_present


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## JaniceM (Dec 9, 2022)

hollydolly said:


> oh it's a new thing where women now demand a ''Push present''... for giving birth ..usually Jewellery...
> 
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Push_present


You've gotta be kidding!!!


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## hollydolly (Dec 9, 2022)

JaniceM said:


> You've gotta be kidding!!!


No it's very real... lots of websites offering Push Present gifts... 

https://www.emmasdiary.co.uk/lifestyle/reviews-and-shopping/maternity/ten-of-the-best-push-presents


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## JaniceM (Dec 9, 2022)

hollydolly said:


> No it's very real... lots of websites offering Push Present gifts...
> 
> https://www.emmasdiary.co.uk/lifestyle/reviews-and-shopping/maternity/ten-of-the-best-push-presents


Well, I think a newly-arrived baby is enough of a gift.


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## hollydolly (Dec 9, 2022)

JaniceM said:


> Well, I think a newly-arrived baby is enough of a gift.


yes.. I somewhat agree.. but having been in natural agonizing labour for 3 days myself ending in   an episiotomy..  an all by myself while my husband was at sea with the Royal Navy... I think I should have got a Gold Medal.. as  well as my gorgeous baby


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## Pepper (Dec 9, 2022)

My mother was three days in labor for my sister & never let her forget it!


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## perChance (Dec 9, 2022)

I don't really remember the pain - although I did have natural childbirth both times - all I remember is that beautiful, peaceful feeling when I held my son and daughter.


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## hollydolly (Dec 9, 2022)

Pepper said:


> My mother was three days in labor for my sister & never let her forget it!


I don't think I;ve ever even told my daughter...


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## Pepper (Dec 9, 2022)

hollydolly said:


> I don't think I;ve ever even told my daughter...


That's because you're nice!


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## JaniceM (Dec 9, 2022)

hollydolly said:


> yes.. I soemwhat agree.. but having been in natural agonizing labour for 3 days myself ending in   an episiotomy..  an all by myself while my husband was at sea with the Royal Navy... I think I should have got a Gold Medal.. as  well as my gorgeous baby


My second child was natural too, but not nearly the length of time you mentioned, only 17 hours, also at home.
After first experience, in hospital, I wasn't about to go through THAT again.


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## hollydolly (Dec 9, 2022)

JaniceM said:


> My second child was natural too, but not nearly the length of time you mentioned, only 17 hours, also at home.
> After first experience, in hospital, I wasn't about to go through THAT again.


it's always been something that's played on my mind  as to why the hospital allowed me to go so long...the whole thing which..don't panic folks I'm not about to tell the story ''.. from start to finish was an absolute nightmare ..a horror show


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## JaniceM (Dec 9, 2022)

hollydolly said:


> it's always been something that's played on my mind  as to why the hospital allowed me to go so long...the whole thing which..don't panic folks''.. from start to finish was an absolute nightmare ..a horror show


That really sucks...  I'm sorry you had such an awful experience.


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## hollydolly (Dec 9, 2022)

JaniceM said:


> That really sucks...  I'm sorry you had such an awful experience.


Believe me so am I... ?.. who knows my daughter might never have been an only child...


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## SandyR (Dec 10, 2022)

hollydolly said:


> ..and me ...3 whole days of agony... in which I never ate anything...  57 hours in Labour... 52 stitches...


I was only in labor 21 hours...


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## hollydolly (Dec 10, 2022)

SandyR said:


> I was only in labor 21 hours...


One of my sisters was in labour 4 hours...


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