# The need to be perfect



## grahamg (Jul 31, 2018)

Not sure how to put these thoughts across, so you may end up scratching your heads if I get this wrong, but here goes:


I've always tried to be *perfect* in every way, and feel I may be getting pretty close to that ideal.

I've lead a very respectful, honourable life, where I've seldom lost my temper, or argued with anyone, and certainly never had a fight with anyone.

Some may think this makes me boring, or say "you're only trying to appear perfect, when really you're just like the rest of us underneath", and there may be some truth in their words (it would be wrong for me to argue anyway wouldn't it?).

I think appearing perfect, whether you've actually achieved that state of being or not, is important on the journey towards the perfection goal. You must look perfect all the time, that goes without saying doesn't it, you must have a perfect home and perfect kids too, who always behave properly and look smart, and of course you love them and they love you absolutely and without hesitation or reservation. In fact everyone who meets your children or has any dealings with them, all these people admire your children and even fall in love with them straight away.

.................Okay, over to you "less than perfect people" now, in the real world.
However, bare in mind that we are probably all told to look at ourselves when something goes wrong, say with your marriage or other relationship, and of course there is much sense in that view, *BUT* there are some right devils out there aren't there to learn to deal with, and their nightmare children, all maybe trained to spoil your day or assert what superior beings they think they are (is it just me?).

I've said enough, and do you know some people tend to drop hints I do "go on a bit" nowadays - God forbid!!


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## IKE (Jul 31, 2018)

Finally a thread that I can relate to, ever since I can remember folks have been calling me......



After saying that is my nose growing ?


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## Aunt Bea (Jul 31, 2018)

_"If you look for perfection, you'll never be content."_- Leo Tolstoy​


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## Keesha (Jul 31, 2018)

No thank you. I appreciate the fact that I’m very imperfect and don’t wish to strive for perfection. 
Theres a certain amount of needless arrogance in thinking one is perfect. In doing so, you’ve already put yourself above others and would need to be constantly comparing yourself. 
Its also setting yourself up for failure since you’ve raised the bar so high. 

I agree with Aunt Bea. If you are looking for perfection you’ll never be content.


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## RadishRose (Jul 31, 2018)

One thing I don't need is perfection.


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## terry123 (Jul 31, 2018)

Keesha said:


> No thank you. I appreciate the fact that I’m very imperfect and don’t wish to strive for perfection.
> Theres a certain amount of needless arrogance in thinking one is perfect. In doing so, you’ve already put yourself above others and would need to be constantly comparing yourself.
> Its also setting yourself up for failure since you’ve raised the bar so high.
> 
> I agree with Aunt Bea. If you are looking for perfection you’ll never be content.


Agree with Aunt Bea and Keesha.


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## grahamg (Jul 31, 2018)

Thanks to all who have responded from the "real world"..........I hope you get my point though that the tendency to criticise others for the way they allowed their relationships to fail, or allowed their children to reject them or whatever it might be is pretty strong "out there" (isn't it?), hence my tongue in cheek assertions about the need to be perfect.

I was once told that doing your best as a father was simply nowhere near the mark so far as a justification for the way you'd behaved as a father, the mere suggestion was laughable that this might be sufficient, and yet "experts in how to bring up children are often the ones whose own children turn out as drug addicts or whatever don't they.


Still my ex. was a pretty good parent, I do have to say that, better than I was at the job, but then that means I chose well as a mother for my child I'd say.


Thanks for the responses.
Graham


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## grahamg (Aug 1, 2018)

Thought this link might prove useful to anyone "taking life too seriously" (as my father used to say):

https://youtu.be/RCyYuLQ7_Ws

Or you could sing along to the lyrics:

Oh Lord it's hard to be humble
 When you're perfect in every way
 I can't wait to look in the mirror
 Cause I get better loking each day
 To know me is to love me

I must be a hell of a man
 Oh Lord it's hard to be humble
 But I'm doing the best that I can
 I used to have a girlfriend
 But she just couldn't compete

With all of these love starved women
 Who keep clamoring at my feet
 Well I prob'ly could find me another
 But I guess they're all in awe of me
 Who cares, I never get lonesome

Cause I treasure my own company
 Oh Lord it's hard to be humble
 When you're perfect in every way
 I can't wait to look in the mirror
 Cause I get better looking each day

To know me is to love me
 I must be a hell of a man
 Oh Lord it's hard to be humble
 But I'm doing the best that I can
 I guess you could say I'm a loner
 A cowboy outlaw tough and proud

I could have lots of friends if I want to
 But then I wouldn't stand out from the crowd
 Some folks say that I'm egotistical
 Hell, I don't even know what that means
 I guess it has something to do with the way that I
 Fill out my skin tight blue jeans

Oh Lord it's hard to be humble
 When you're perfect in every way
 I can't wait to look in the mirror
Cause I get better loking each day
 To know me is to love me


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## hollydolly (Aug 1, 2018)

If imperfection was an Olympic sport, I'd have a Gold medal... :cheers1:


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## grahamg (Aug 1, 2018)

hollydolly said:


> If imperfection was an Olympic sport, I'd have a Gold medal... :cheers1:




With pins like those who really cares about any number of less than optimal characteristics!


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## grahamg (Aug 2, 2018)

Back to the subject in hand, "perfection"- maybe you are generous to a fault (not one of my failings I admit ).

I did once listen into a conversation between my ex. wife and a woman trained in social work, or some such profession (maybe more aligned with court welfare, something like that anyway).


My ex. trained as a teacher, though never entered the teaching profession, but these two women went into a discussion about a "perfect world" - something along the lines of "in a perfect world the father should see their child, but this isn't a perfect world so he can't" that kind of logic you'll find it hard to argue with if you ever come up against it.


So, there we are, my warning to you all is that you are being judged these days, by professionals of all descriptions and if you escape their clutches you're doing very well indeed :sentimental:.


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## drifter (Aug 10, 2018)

I'd say, 'whatever turns you on, go for it.'


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## Meanderer (Aug 10, 2018)

We are all perfect, each in our own way!  Enjoy!nthego:


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## Shalimar (Aug 10, 2018)

grahamg said:


> Back to the subject in hand, "perfection"- maybe you are generous to a fault (not one of my failings I admit ).
> 
> I did once listen into a conversation between my ex. wife and a woman trained in social work, or some such profession (maybe more aligned with court welfare, something like that anyway).
> 
> ...


All professionals are not the same. Sad that your negative experiences have caused you so much pain.


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## Meanderer (Aug 11, 2018)




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## Keesha (Aug 11, 2018)

Meanderer said:


>




Awwwwwwww..... ‘‘tis so sweet. :heart:


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## ClassicRockr (Aug 11, 2018)

Only have one thing to say...…."I'm as perfect as can be and my wife loves it". End of story. LOL


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## StarSong (Aug 11, 2018)

grahamg said:


> Not sure how to put these thoughts across, so you may end up scratching your heads if I get this wrong, but here goes:
> 
> 
> I've always tried to be *perfect* in every way, and feel I may be getting pretty close to that ideal.
> ...



It's hard to tell if you're serious since nobody seems to have invented a font to easily identify sarcasm.      

People who think they're perfect or close to it cause much eye-rolling by the mere mortals who don't live on Mt. Olympus.


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## Olivia (Aug 11, 2018)

It's a hard load to bear, being perfect. Kind of like being green. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hpiIWMWWVco


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## Ruth n Jersey (Aug 11, 2018)

I'm far from perfect as a person and don't strive to be so and never will be perfect, yet I'm a perfectionist in things that I attempt to do. The words "good enough" are not in my vocabulary. I will do something a hundred times over until I think it is as perfect,in my mind,as it can be.


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## grahamg (Aug 13, 2018)

StarSong said:


> It's hard to tell if you're serious since nobody seems to have invented a font to easily identify sarcasm.
> 
> People who think they're perfect or close to it cause much eye-rolling by the mere mortals who don't live on Mt. Olympus.




I am often serious, but am at the same time annoyed when I see people who I think are taking themselves too seriously (if you can handle that much contradiction in one sentence?).

I do look for humour too, and have found mild ridicule a useful tool sometimes to use against those I feel need it ("do gooders", whoever or wherever you might be beware  ).


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## grahamg (Aug 13, 2018)

Ruth n Jersey said:


> I'm far from perfect as a person and don't strive to be so and never will be perfect, yet I'm a perfectionist in things that I attempt to do. The words "good enough" are not in my vocabulary. I will do something a hundred times over until I think it is as perfect,in my mind,as it can be.




Perhaps your job reflects this or it suits someone with your personality (which by the way I admire, though don't aspire to live up to the levels of perfection you seek)?


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## grahamg (Aug 15, 2018)

How is this for "perfect"?

You make up stories against your brother,
you move his nonagenarian father from their home in secret,
you express your love for and concern at brother's peaceful though shocked reaction,
you build a case against him questioning his sanity,
you make unfounded allegations of abuse,
you make a mockery of those professionals trying to assist the family, 
you ignore medical advice regarding fathers health when it breaks down further,
you cry if the doctors try to object you're not acting in his interests,
you employ a firm of heavies to molest and harry your brother to evict him,
you lie in about events, and portray yourself as the victim,
you use unscrupulous people to hide the extent of fathers condition,
you put forward a blizzard of falsehoods which go unchallenged due to the sheer weight of them,
you win the case as all are mislead by this behaviour,
you denude your brother of funds during the appeal,
you corruptly obtain an eviction order,
you take over your brothers stock, then fail to feed or water them,
you refuse to answer for your actions,
you enrich yourselves from fathers estate,
you do all this because you know you can, and
you know no one in authority will dare to challenge you,
you rely upon no one believing you were capable of all these misdeeds,
and yet our mother foretold of these events to the extent she was able,
You will be too late by the time you appreciate what is going to happen,
she said before she died, and everything will be gone!

Please excuse above rant - it couldn't possibly happen in real life (could it  ?)


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## Serena77 (Aug 15, 2018)

We are imperfect on our own.  The only perfection we could hope to achieve is in Jesus Christ, our Lord.

He is MY Lord, anyway!


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## grahamg (Aug 15, 2018)

Serena77 said:


> We are imperfect on our own.  The only perfection we could hope to achieve is in Jesus Christ, our Lord.
> 
> He is MY Lord, anyway!



Last Sunday I sat next to the elderly man who had been taking the service at my local church, and I told him I thought he'd given a very good service etc. (which he had, can't remember it now, but because of his age he'd sat down on doctors instructions to deliver the sermon).

Anyway I happened to mention my own daughter "probably being an atheist" (as her mother certainly was), and he said quite a funny thing in response, quote: "GOOD"

I'm still not quite sure why he said it, and I'm not entirely sure whether it is good as he says, although she's doing very well for herself in this world I'm glad to say.

I did admire the preacher though, as a fairly humble man, but obviously well trained in his job (though he'd previously worked as a painter and decorator he said).

He said he thought his job was to look for the love already there, wherever it might be, and I can certainly live with that idea.

Hope you didn't find my rant above too depressing.


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## grahamg (Aug 28, 2018)

Anyone catch a BBC radio four broadcast on Sunday, and a show called "Dead ringers"?

Its a satirical show, and a lot of famous comic actors appear on it, especially those good at imitating people as the programme name suggests.

There show was supposed to be about an alien from Mars who came down to Earth and was first feted and then condemned but it was the description of the "British mindset" that really was funny I thought, and maybe a bit close to the truth (everyone speaking on topics they haven't got a clue about being one of the main themes).

Not sure how well it fits into this thread but as it was in a way about just how imperfect we all are, maybe it does.


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## Shalimar (Aug 28, 2018)

I will never be perfect, but I strive to be kind.


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## StarSong (Aug 28, 2018)

grahamg said:


> Anyone catch a BBC radio four broadcast on Sunday, and a show called "Dead ringers"?
> 
> Its a satirical show, and a lot of famous comic actors appear on it, especially those good at imitating people as the programme name suggests.
> 
> ...



It's always been difficult for me to decipher non North American English accents in the media.  The older I get the harder it is.  When watching UK/Aussie/NZ/South African/Indian movies or TV shows I usually put on subtitles.  BBC radio would be torture - I'd catch only 50% of what's being said.  In person it's easier.  Except for Scots.  I usually have no idea what they're talking about.  :what1:


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## grahamg (Aug 28, 2018)

*Thora Herd*



StarSong said:


> It's always been difficult for me to decipher non North American English accents in the media.  The older I get the harder it is.  When watching UK/Aussie/NZ/South African/Indian movies or TV shows I usually put on subtitles.  BBC radio would be torture - I'd catch only 50% of what's being said.  In person it's easier.  Except for Scots.  I usually have no idea what they're talking about.  :what1:




If you struggle quite a bit already you may indeed have trouble with this "Dead ringers" show, as regional accents are being put on all the time for comic effect. The woman who imitates the late Thora Herd, a much loved actress who appeared in many comic films or tv situation comedies, is really close to getting her voice, and she was from Lancashire I think, so quite Northern like myself. Even I struggle sometimes I do admit, with all the regional accents, and "Geordie" or "Glaswegian" being maybe the most challenging to follow.

Don't let it put you off listening to "Dead ringers" though, as most of it is BBC English, so fairly easy to follow.


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## grahamg (Aug 28, 2018)

Shalimar said:


> I will never be perfect, but I strive to be kind.




There is an old saying on this isn't there, about "Its nice to be important, but its more important to be nice" (or words to that effect I think  ?).


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## Lara (Aug 28, 2018)

"At the end of life we will not be judged by how many diplomas we have received, how much money we have made, nor how many great things we have done. We will be judged by 'I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was naked and you clothed me, I was homeless and you took me in"

~ Mother Theresa (based on Matthew 25:35-40)


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## Shalimar (Aug 28, 2018)

grahamg said:


> There is an old saying on this isn't there, about "Its nice to be important, but its more important to be nice" (or words to that effect I think  ?).


If it isn’t a saying, it should be. It continues to amaze me how a simple act of kindness often has a huge ripple effect. So many are starved for simple warmth, and a listening ear.


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## grahamg (Aug 29, 2018)

Pretty perfect summing up of affairs:

https://www.facebook.com/SilverSurfers50/photos/a.425990670754996/1977577348929646/?type=3


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## rgp (Oct 3, 2018)

History has taught us that the only man deemed perfect , was nailed to a cross. I don't aspire to follow in his footsteps .

 Someone said it........"I'd like to be the person, my dog already thinks I am"


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