# Senior Dating



## rwb (Sep 25, 2022)

How many retired seniors are actively dating but have no intentions of getting married either again, or for the first time?


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## RandomName (Sep 25, 2022)

rwb said:


> How many retired seniors are actively dating but have no intentions of getting married either again, or for the first time?



I am one of those, possibly. 68 yr old male who is actively 'trying' to get dates. Have had some dates, but seems most of the women are 'out of  the market'.   Married, or single but choose not to date at all, since they like being single and NOT in a relationship.

I am also kind of leery about any new 'relationship' I might get involved in. But I guess that's not news, right?   

I am 'supposed' to be a hot item. Single man, has own house paid off, no drug addiction. Women are supposed to be begging me to ravish them, ha ha. Not the case !

And no, I don't want to get married, or even let a woman live with me.


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## hollydolly (Sep 25, 2022)

RandomName said:


> I am one of those, possibly. 68 yr old male who is actively 'trying' to get dates. Have had some dates, but seems most of the women are 'out of  the market'.   Married, or single but choose not to date at all, since they like being single and NOT in a relationship.
> 
> I am also kind of leery about any new 'relationship' I might get involved in. But I guess that's not news, right?
> 
> ...


LOL...well I'm not going to say no to a date with someone if they ask me... as long as the guy is a decent upstanding citizen of this Universe.. I'm sure there's plenty of women out there for you.. I think I'll have the same problem fiding a man .. that's not looking for a nurse..


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## boliverchadsworth (Sep 26, 2022)

I am looking for a yapper with lots of made up drama and with her own twisted slant on all reality situations .....then I can be  content once again- of simply being inferior-


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## Bella (Sep 26, 2022)

I wouldn't mind having a date with a nice guy. Although COVID has put a pretty good damper on meeting anyone, I don't think that's going to change in the near future. As far as marriage is concerned, I don't think so. Even just finding someone to date is iffy. 

Bella


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## Manatee (Sep 27, 2022)

Wife and I have been married for 63 years.  If I replaced her I would have to go through training a new one.


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## hollydolly (Sep 27, 2022)

Manatee said:


> Wife and I have been married for 63 years.  If I replaced her I would have to go through training a new one.


..and that's the reason most women my age don't want a new man...


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## RandomName (Sep 27, 2022)

hollydolly said:


> ..and that's the reason most women my age don't want a new man...



Dang! I knew it!  And I guess they don't want to even date a guy since they might get 'trapped' into something long term? 

I am kind of leery of having that happen to me, actually. I go out with someone, and like them just well enough to keep going out, then wham! a 'relationship' has formed! OMG !  NO !    

I suppose I am really on the fence here. I do want a kind, supportive, loving woman to have and to hold. But it can go bad so easily, right? I need to think positive, lol.


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## hollydolly (Sep 27, 2022)

RandomName said:


> Dang! I knew it!  And I guess they don't want to even date a guy since they might get 'trapped' into something long term?
> 
> I am kind of leery of having that happen to me, actually. I go out with someone, and like them just well enough to keep going out, then wham! a 'relationship' has formed! OMG !  NO !
> 
> I suppose I am really on the fence here. I do want a kind, supportive, loving woman to have and to hold. But it can go bad so easily, right? I need to think positive, lol.


yep that's kinda how I feel too pretty much... You gotta try and keep it casual.. so that you look forward to seeing each other but don't get in too deep... lol


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## RandomName (Sep 27, 2022)

hollydolly said:


> yep that's kinda how I feel too pretty much... You gotta try and keep it casual.. so that you look forward to seeing each other but don't get in too deep... lol



And you're doing this now? With just one guy, or more? My plan is to go out with many different women, so I won't get into that 'deep' thing. 

Or maybe narrow it down to my favorite, but just keep it casual with her, if possible. Not letting her move in, no matter how much I like her.


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## hollydolly (Sep 27, 2022)

RandomName said:


> And you're doing this now? With just one guy, or more? My plan is to go out with many different women, so I won't get into that 'deep' thing.
> 
> Or maybe narrow it down to my favorite, but just keep it casual with her, if possible. Not letting her move in, no matter how much I like her.


no guys.. haven't dated in almost 22 years since I last got married ... been on my own now for 14 months.. no dates..


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## Brookswood (Sep 27, 2022)

No marriage is necessary, but she has to be into romance.


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## Bella (Sep 27, 2022)

RandomName said:


> Dang! I knew it!  And I guess they don't want to even date a guy since they might get 'trapped' into something long term?
> 
> *I am kind of leery of having that happen to me, actually. I go out with someone, and like them just well enough to keep going out, then wham! a 'relationship' has formed! OMG !  NO !
> 
> I suppose I am really on the fence here. I do want a kind, supportive, loving woman to have and to hold. But it can go bad so easily, right?* I need to think positive, lol.


Hopefully, you'll find someone who wants to be as involved and uninvolved in a relationship that's a non-relationship. Tell them, "I just want to date. I want all the love and affection and support that goes with a relationship, and I want to keep seeing you and benefit from all that, but I want to keep it "casual." I don't want a "relationship." You might get lucky. There's always hope until there isn't. 

Bella


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## Georgiagranny (Sep 27, 2022)

Meh. It's just too much trouble. I'm not into "working at" a relationship. My DH would be a really hard act to follow. No one would ever measure up.


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## DebraMae (Sep 27, 2022)

Nope, no way, not gonna happen.


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## RandomName (Sep 27, 2022)

hollydolly said:


> no guys.. haven't dated in almost 22 years since I last got married ... been on my own now for 14 months.. no dates..



I guess 14 months is not a long time in the scope of things. Do you want to date? Or not yet?


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## RandomName (Sep 27, 2022)

Bella said:


> Hopefully, you'll find someone who wants to be as involved and uninvolved in a relationship that's a non-relationship. Tell them, "I just want to date. I want all the love and affection and support that goes with a relationship, and I want to keep seeing you and benefit from all that, but I want to keep it "casual." I don't want a "relationship." You might get lucky. There's always hope until there isn't.
> 
> Bella



Bella, do I detect a note of sarcasm here, lol? 

 I actually am getting the impression there are *some* women out there who would be into the 'casual' thing. I keep thinking it's a new phenomenon, but it's probably the same thing all through the ages, no?

edit to add :  I actually had the nerve to ask a slightly younger hottie out, and she said yes, sure, she would like to get ice cream some time, and went on to say she had been in relationships, and didn't want another one, and she would only want to be friends with me.  

We never made a date to get ice cream, anyway, and I'm sort of deciding to let it drop. I still see her once a week at a social event. We just talk as though nothing happened. The truth is I would be hoping it would change from friendship to romance, anyway, ha ha.  

So important to be honest up front.   And when you don't want to keep going out, you just have to break it off. That's going to be hard for me. It takes so long to get someone to go out, then you find out you're not compatible, and  just have to let her go. Ugh!  I have always taken the easy way out, and stayed in a relationship I really wanted to be out of.


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## hollydolly (Sep 27, 2022)

RandomName said:


> I guess 14 months is not a long time in the scope of things. Do you want to date? Or not yet?


I'm not actively looking, but if I was asked out by someone nice I may go...


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## Bella (Sep 27, 2022)

RandomName said:


> *Bella, do I detect a note of sarcasm here, lol?*





RandomName said:


> Bella, do I detect a note of sarcasm here, lol?
> 
> I actually am getting the impression there are *some* women out there who would be into the 'casual' thing. I keep thinking it's a new phenomenon, but it's probably the same thing all through the ages, no?
> 
> ...



So, you met this hottie and asked her out for ice cream, and she said yes to ice cream, but she just wants to be friends. But you'd be hoping that it would change from friendship to romance. So you didn't pursue it any further because you want "romance" but you want to keep it "casual" without having a "relationship". Kiddo, you're all over the place. You want everything that goes on in a relationship except the relationship part. You're making my head spin! 

Bella


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## RandomName (Sep 27, 2022)

I don't think having many parts of a relationship to think about equates to being all over the place.  

Although I will admit to having conflicting thoughts going on about any given relationship.


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## Teacher Terry (Sep 27, 2022)

*When I first got divorced I thought it might be nice to have a relationship *but almost 2 years later I like living alone and don’t think I want all the issues that go along with it.


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## Blessed (Sep 27, 2022)

RandomName said:


> And you're doing this now? With just one guy, or more? My plan is to go out with many different women, so I won't get into that 'deep' thing.
> 
> Or maybe narrow it down to my favorite, but just keep it casual with her, if possible. Not letting her move in, no matter how much I like her.


Oh yeah, the casual, I just want to have sex, have you come over clean my house, do my laundry and cook me gourmet meals then go home.  I just need you, many different women to take care of all my needs because I don't want to get into a deep thing. You wonder why you are alone, you have got to be kidding. 

You think because you are so great, you are breathing and you are a man.  Did you ever stop to think that there are a great many of us that have worked our whole lives, raised a family, took care of every aspect that comes with that.  We own our own homes,  Have a nice retirement fund and no debt.  We don't need someone to so called take care of us, we are quite capable of doing that on our own.  If you want a partner you need to step back and look at yourself.  What do you have to offer that would make a relationship!

You don't want a casual thing, go out for lunch or a movie, walk in the park.  That is a casual thing!! You want a call girl, a maid, a cook and a door mat.  Don't get me wrong, there are a few out there that would jump at your deal  but you may wake up one morning with a butcher knife in your chest or a missing body part.  Good hunting!!


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## bowmore (Sep 27, 2022)

Well. I was 68 when I first met my wife, after we were both widowed. We were married in Santorini Greece in 2007 and been together ever since.


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## Brookswood (Sep 27, 2022)

Bella said:


> Hopefully, you'll find someone who wants to be as involved and uninvolved in a relationship that's a non-relationship. Tell them, "I just want to date. I want all the love and affection and support that goes with a relationship, and I want to keep seeing you and benefit from all that, but I want to keep it "casual." I don't want a "relationship." You might get lucky. There's always hope until there isn't.
> 
> Bella


There's always an FWB relationship.


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## Bella (Sep 27, 2022)

Brookswood said:


> *There's always an FWB relationship.*


Yeah, right. I say go for it if that's what_ both _parties want. I'll pass.


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## Bella (Sep 28, 2022)

Blessed said:


> Oh yeah, the casual,* I just want to have sex, have you come over clean my house, do my laundry and cook me gourmet meals then go home.  I just need you, many different women to take care of all my needs because I don't want to get into a deep thing. You wonder why you are alone, you have got to be kidding.
> 
> You think because you are so great, you are breathing and you are a man.  *Did you ever stop to think that there are a great many of us that have worked our whole lives, raised a family, took care of every aspect that comes with that.  We own our own homes,  Have a nice retirement fund and no debt.  We don't need someone to so called take care of us, we are quite capable of doing that on our own.  If you want a partner you need to step back and look at yourself.  What do you have to offer that would make a relationship!
> 
> You don't want a casual thing, go out for lunch or a movie, walk in the park.  That is a casual thing!! *You want a call girl, a maid, a cook and a door mat.*  Don't get me wrong, there are a few out there that would jump at your deal  but *you may wake up one morning with a butcher knife in your chest or a missing body part.*  Good hunting!!



_
_
Blessed, you're being_ too _hard on him. He's scared. He wants all the benefits of a relationship without the commitment. It's not what I want. It might not be what you want or think is right, but it's not a crime. He shouldn't be condemned. He needs to do things his own way, no matter what anyone else says.

There really is nothing that anyone can say that will change his mind or what anyone else thinks about how or what a relationship should be. Regardless of others' expressed opinions or beliefs, we all march to the beat of our own drummer.

I hope that everyone gets whatever he/she wants or doesn't want out of a relationship or non-relationship.

Bella


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## Bella (Sep 28, 2022)

*Are You In A Non-Relationship Relationship? *> https://www.thethingsiwishiknew.com/are-you-in-a-non-relationship-relationship/

"Are you currently spending all your free time with someone special? Dinners, late nights, weekend getaways, Sundays all day and dinner with family and friends. You are simply over the moon for them but then it occurs to you, are you in a relationship? As far as you’re concerned this is who you want to be with. Do they feel the same? You haven’t had the “we’re exclusive” conversation but given all of the above, you’re together right?! Are you in a non-relationship relationship?
What It Looks Like​For those who don’t know what a non-relationship relationship is I thought I would give you a little insight. Who knows, you might be in one right now and not realize it. Simply put a non-relationship relationship is a relationship that entails no actual commitment. You pretty much do all the things that “couples do” but it’s not official. As in, he’s not telling his friends or anyone that you’re his girlfriend, you’re just a friend. In a non-relationship relationship, one or both individuals have one foot out the door. Technically, in their minds, they’re still single, which means they aren’t obliged to you.

You might be thinking, isn’t this the same thing as friends with benefits? Not even close. In most friends with benefits scenarios interactions are purely physical; that’s it. No breakfast in bed, cuddle sessions, spending time with friends or family for that matter. You’re in, get your benefit, and then you’re out no questions asked.

This is where things get a little fuzzy for people because when you are in “friends with benefits” situations you both know where you stand. In a non-relationship relationship, you spend a lot of time in the grey area. You create a foundation for what would lead to a relationship or simply be a relationship without it ever happening. It’s definitely a mind f*ck. But guess what you put yourself in it. This isn’t what you want? Then speak the f*ck up! It’s that simple. If it’s just a good time for a however long for them (until they find someone else), then move on. Don’t stick around hoping and waiting…for what? You don’t want a partner who isn’t sure about you. The one thing that I have learned about love and relationships is that you should be certain.
Caught Up In Your Feelings ​I know, you met the family, you’ve shared your hopes and dreams. Long walks, bubble baths and deep conversations. It’s nice to be vulnerable. Don’t worry it’s okay, you haven’t lost anything because you did this with the wrong person. Or maybe they’re not the wrong person, they just aren’t your long-term person. The beauty about this is that you are allowing yourself to experience this type of vulnerability. With that said, you have to know when to move on. It’s time to move on. He/she will never give you what you need. You have fallen in love with the comfortability in this union and this has led you to believe that this is the place for you to land permanently. It’s not.

In this case, this is not your place and this is definitely not your person. Guess what? Don’t worry, they are coming your way. Don’t let this dishearten you. Non-relationship relationships are hard to leave because in most cases a friendship forms, there is a bond there that although it may not be enough for one or both of you if you take a step back and look at things clearly. Not only is it hard to leave the physical comfort of someone else’s presence, you know that you may be leaving this new found confidant and friend behind. If I am honest, I doubt that you will be the type of friends you would like to be once you decide to make things platonic. This rarely works.
Knowing When To Leave​I would say now, like as you are reading this! Don’t waste your time with the “why aren’t we together conversation”. You’re just not. All the reasons they give you won’t matter. The only reason, which you already know, is that you aren’t getting what you need out of this. This is your answer. I am sorry if you feel blindsided. Everyone has been here before. This comes down to self-love and the loyalty to oneself that’s built with this. You aren’t loving yourself by letting someone love you less than you desire. The happiness you think may exist with them will never be as beautiful as it could be with someone who truly wants to be with you.

Don’t hold on. This love is not worth having. You don’t want to stumble on someone else’s tight rope when you can balance on your own. In this case, unfortunately, and I believe in LOVE, trust me I do, love is not enough. Feelings don’t sustain and nurture good relationships actions do."

Bella


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## Blessed (Sep 28, 2022)

Bella said:


> _
> _
> Blessed, you're being_ too _hard on him. He's scared. He wants all the benefits of a relationship without the commitment. It's not what I want. It might not be what you want or think is right, but it's not a crime. He shouldn't be condemned. He needs to do things his own way, no matter what anyone else says.
> 
> ...


You may be right but he has gone on and on about finding someone.  I gave him the benefit of the doubt according to his post. To me, now it is clear what he wants, a lady with all the benefits and none of the responsibilities of a relationship.  He can buy the so called non- relationship should he want to do so.  He can also hire a maid and cook.  He just does not want to look like an A**, so he is not going to say the truth here.  He is not scared at all, he just realizes he is not going to get what he wants.  He, himself said women should just be falling down and throwing themselves at him because he owns his own home and has no addictions.  Refers to a lady "as a hottie he asked out for ice cream"  come on. You are a smart woman, you see the truth of it. Don't allow him to live in a dream world, tell him the truth!! Go back and read your own posts, you see thru the nonsense.


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## katlupe (Sep 28, 2022)

rwb said:


> How many retired seniors are actively dating but have no intentions of getting married either again, or for the first time?


I have no intentions of getting married again or living with anyone. I am in a relationship so it is more than just dating.  Yes, it is a committed relationship so neither of us are out looking for someone better (which is what you do when you are going out with more than one person). We have been together now since 2018 and still going strong. I told him upfront that I would never live with anyone again (or get married) so he knew from the start. He seems to be happy with me and this type of relationship.


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## Bella (Sep 28, 2022)

Blessed said:


> You may be right but he has gone on and on about finding someone.  I gave him the benefit of the doubt according to his post. To me, now it is clear what he wants, a lady with all the benefits and none of the responsibilities of a relationship.  He can buy the so called non- relationship should he want to do so.  He can also hire a maid and cook.  He just does not want to look like an A**, so he is not going to say the truth here.  He is not scared at all, he just realizes he is not going to get what he wants.  He, himself said women should just be falling down and throwing themselves at him because he owns his own home and has no addictions.  Refers to a lady "as a hottie he asked out for ice cream"  come on. *You are a smart woman, you see the truth of it. Don't allow him to live in a dream world, tell him the truth!! Go back and read your own posts, you see thru the nonsense.*


I'm smart enough to realize that there's nothing I can say that will change the way he thinks or feels about the way he approaches what he desires. His desires are one thing, but whether he can achieve them is questionable. He knows that. He lives in a world of his own design, just as you and I do. I don't need to re-read anything. I just don't see him the way you do, and I'm also smart enough to know that there's nothing I can say that will change your perspective on that. You've been crystal clear. There's nothing wrong with expressing your opinion, but despite how you see him, he shouldn't be so vehemently attacked. 

Bella


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## RandomName (Sep 28, 2022)

Blessed said:


> Oh yeah, the casual, I just want to have sex, have you come over clean my house, do my laundry and cook me gourmet meals then go home.  I just need you, many different women to take care of all my needs because I don't want to get into a deep thing. You wonder why you are alone, you have got to be kidding.
> 
> You think because you are so great, you are breathing and you are a man.  Did you ever stop to think that there are a great many of us that have worked our whole lives, raised a family, took care of every aspect that comes with that.  We own our own homes,  Have a nice retirement fund and no debt.  We don't need someone to so called take care of us, we are quite capable of doing that on our own.  If you want a partner you need to step back and look at yourself.  What do you have to offer that would make a relationship!
> 
> You don't want a casual thing, go out for lunch or a movie, walk in the park.  That is a casual thing!! You want a call girl, a maid, a cook and a door mat.  Don't get me wrong, there are a few out there that would jump at your deal  but you may wake up one morning with a butcher knife in your chest or a missing body part.  Good hunting!!



Hey, Blessed, I think you have me confused with some image in your mind of someone who hurt you? Or your girlfriends have told you stories about the mean guys they have dated?

Have you read my previous posts?  I already said I want affection and that does not necessarily require sex. 

Where did I say I want a maid and a cook? Nowhere.  

Where did I say I was great because I was breathing? Nowhere. 

Sounds like you are bitter about something, and you want me to be that thing you are bitter about, which is why you attack me, but no, no, no, it ain't me, babe. I ain't the one you're looking for, babe.


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## RandomName (Sep 28, 2022)

Blessed, 

Wow, all the hate. Geez. 

Let me clear one thing up. I never said women ought to be begging me to be their boyfriend. Read my post again.  I had read, and people told me, that as a healthy man with no addictions, no debt, has own house and car, I am supposed to be in demand.

I was *hoping*  that would be true, but, as I posted (yes, reread it, please), that has NOT been the case. 

If you had read my posts, and got an accurate impression of me, instead of turning me into an effigy of an a** you apparently knew in your past, and wish to beat on, you would not be attacking me.

Go ahead an say bad things about men who abuse women, OK, that's cool.  But I am not one of them. Got it? Sorry to disappoint you. 

I actually think you owe me an apology.


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## RandomName (Sep 28, 2022)

bowmore said:


> Well. I was 68 when I first met my wife, after we were both widowed. We were married in Santorini Greece in 2007 and been together ever since.



Bowmore, that's beautiful! Congratulations.


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## Blessed (Sep 28, 2022)

I will get back to you @RandomName.  Just so you know, I am a widow that married a boy she started to date at 15.  Engaged at 18, married at 20 and with him until the day he died.  There is no one that has hurt me and I am not taking anything out on you.  I guess I have a different outlook on life because of that.


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## Blessed (Sep 28, 2022)

Bella said:


> I'm smart enough to realize that there's nothing I can say that will change the way he thinks or feels about the way he approaches what he desires. His desires are one thing, but whether he can achieve them is questionable. He knows that. He lives in a world of his own design, just as you and I do. I don't need to re-read anything. I just don't see him the way you do, and I'm also smart enough to know that there's nothing I can say that will change your perspective on that. You've been crystal clear. There's nothing wrong with expressing your opinion, but despite how you see him, he shouldn't be so vehemently attacked.
> 
> Bella


Just  the way I see it...


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## Leann (Sep 28, 2022)

I've been divorced for at least a dozen years now (we separated for a few years before the divorce so don't recall the exact date when we officially called it quits). I wanted to fill the emotional void but didn't date for a while until I felt ready to meet someone. I made it crystal clear with every man I met that I was NEVER getting married again. Despite that, I've had four men propose to me...James, Michael, David and a second Michael. All except David were financially stable. David was a disaster in so many ways that I should start a separate thread about him.

I was not and am not looking for a sugar Daddy or a player. James was a classic player, thought he was God's gift to women. I have no contact with him. Michael #1 is a super nice person but lives firmly in the past and procrastinates to the point that it severely impacts his life. He and I text once in a while just to say hello. David is a long story as I said ... isn't at peace with growing older, has a history of women paying his way and is addicted to cigarettes, alcohol and weed (and by addicted, I mean all day, everyday). I have zero contact with him. Michael #2 is very nice but is wary of women (financially burned after his divorce). He and I talk on the phone occasionally.

I'm not a serial dater. I don't date multiple men at the same time. Never have. And I'm not into one-night stands, either.

I don't know how I feel about living with someone. I've considered it but I really do love my house, my dog and my alone time.


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## Teacher Terry (Sep 28, 2022)

Leann, your story about the 4 men just confirmed that dating is a crapshoot.


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## MsFox (Sep 28, 2022)

For me, a big *no* to dating. I won't tarnish my record as 52 years a widow with such juvenile foolishness.  I would never consider a younger guy due to being labeled with a disparaging wildlife name.  My age and older single guys are usually dirty old men, given up on life, foul-tempered, foul-smelling, judgemental, widowers who had wives that waited on them hand and foot, overzealous with religion, overzealous with politics, belligerent, have too many controlling relatives, bad health, bad breath, bad gas, a big sagging belly, bad dressers with pants bagging off their behinds supported by tacky red suspenders, no sense of humor, and the list goes on. 

I find so many old guys mistake a woman being nice for flirting and a mild harmless flirt as a marriage proposal.  If an old man accidentally bumps into me while grocery shopping or at the senior center and he apologizes and I say, "It is OK dear, I am partially blind and have balance issues," using the word dear he may take it as an "I love you" so I have tried to eliminate all words of endearment from my conversations with senior men. I haven't found the right words yet and phrases like, "Well excuse you, you clumsy old goat" may lead to a hostile shopping experience or permanent banishment from the local senior center. 

If I could find the perfect guy, he wouldn't want me for reasons too numerous to mention.


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## Brookswood (Sep 28, 2022)

I figure I will appeal to about 10% of the women my age.  The rest would never notice me and if they did, they would not care if I dropped dead tomorrow. That means if I live in a metropolis of 1,000,000 people with 20,000 women single women my age, that is 2000  gals who potentially will like me as a partner. So you would think finding one would be easy. b

But, it isn't. I dated one gal with whom I got on famously. Alas, in the period of about a year her daughter married a man who lived out of state and left the area. Then her son decided he would stay in his college town and did not come back to the city of his birth.  Being a loving mom, she moved to be with her kids.  Thousands of miles away.  I can't blame her.  But, I have children also and they don't live where hers live.   You can see where this is going.   

I have now relaxed my search. It's limited to me doing what I like and sometimes meeting women who also enjoy the activity.    That is working out fine.


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## Brookswood (Sep 28, 2022)

MsFox said:


> My age and older single guys are usually dirty old men, given up on life, foul-tempered, foul-smelling, judgemental, widowers who had wives that waited on them hand and foot, overzealous with religion, overzealous with politics, belligerent, have too many controlling relatives, bad health, bad breath, bad gas, a big sagging belly, bad dressers with pants bagging off their behinds supported by tacky red suspenders, no sense of humor, and the list goes on.


Good grief! Where do you find these guys. Are you trolling the city dump?


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## RandomName (Sep 29, 2022)

MsFox said:


> I find so many old guys mistake a woman being nice for flirting and a mild harmless flirt as a marriage proposal.  If an old man accidentally bumps into me while grocery shopping or at the senior center and he apologizes and I say, "It is OK dear, I am partially blind and have balance issues," using the word dear he may take it as an "I love you" so I have tried to eliminate all words of endearment from my conversations with senior men.



Hi MsFox (hey that's a wildlife name),

As an old guy who likes to be referred to with terms of endearment, I know what you mean. Sometimes a cashier calls me 'honey' and I get an instant hope of something happening, lol. But I never act on it since I know they are just being kind. But I always like it.

Just a few days ago, a woman my age (cute one, too, if I may add that info) had an interesting shirt on. I asked her what the pattern on the front was, and she explained that it was 'I love you' in sign language. Then she showed me how to sign it, and looked me in the eye and said 'I love you' with the just the kindest eyes you ever saw.

She plays pickleball at the same place I go. She went off to her game and I went off to mine.
She is married, so I definitely didn't think she was hitting on me.

But wow, she was so nice to do that for me.    

Maybe it's something about pickleball, but another female player, also married, just reached out and offered her hand to me once when we met at the place, so I held it for a few seconds.
Random act of kindness? I am really into that stuff.  Kind of makes my day, lol.


----------



## RandomName (Sep 29, 2022)

Brookswood uttered :  
<<  I have now relaxed my search. It's limited to me doing what I like and sometimes meeting women who also enjoy the activity. That is working out fine.  >>

Hi Brookswood.

I was actively asking women out for the last year, off and on. I got a few to go out with me, and we were nice to each other, but I have chosen not to keep anything going long term, for various reasons.

I think now I might just keep going to social activities  and hoping and praying that I meet a
compatible woman, whom I don't have to force myself to ask out. 

I was forcing myself to ask women out that I was only half interested in, simply because that's just the way the supply of older folks is. My guess is that both the men and women over 60 look around at the possible dating pool, and say "Ugh, can I just watch TV alone, and not date?" lol. 

(And, no, I don't think I am a handsome stud deserving a beautiful woman, just in case someone is going to accuse me of that crime, ha ha)


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## Pepper (Sep 29, 2022)

@RandomName 
"(And, no, I don't think I am a handsome stud deserving a beautiful woman, just in case someone is going to accuse me of that crime, ha ha)"

In my experience, many men, handsome or not, feel they are deserving of a beautiful woman only. Those are the guys who don't want a real commitment.  I call it the 'Heart of Gold' syndrome.


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## David777 (Sep 29, 2022)

rwb said:


> How many retired seniors are actively dating but have no intentions of getting married either again, or for the first time?


As long as my health is ok, I'm open for a long term relationship even if not actively dating.  Am more of a informal hang out with others kind of person especially groups, than those making "dates".   I came to learn long ago as a twentysomething during the counterculture era, that shallow relationships held serious psychological and societal issues for we heterosexual biology earth monkeys, though can readily understand why many may not.


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## palides2021 (Sep 29, 2022)

bowmore said:


> Well. I was 68 when I first met my wife, after we were both widowed. We were married in Santorini Greece in 2007 and been together ever since.


How romantic!


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## Bellbird (Sep 29, 2022)

Blessed said:


> You may be right but he has gone on and on about finding someone.  I gave him the benefit of the doubt according to his post. To me, now it is clear what he wants, a lady with all the benefits and none of the responsibilities of a relationship.  He can buy the so called non- relationship should he want to do so.  He can also hire a maid and cook.  He just does not want to look like an A**, so he is not going to say the truth here.  He is not scared at all, he just realizes he is not going to get what he wants.  He, himself said women should just be falling down and throwing themselves at him because he owns his own home and has no addictions.  Refers to a lady "as a hottie he asked out for ice cream"  come on. You are a smart woman, you see the truth of it. Don't allow him to live in a dream world, tell him the truth!! Go back and read your own posts, you see thru the nonsense.


Refers to a lady "as a hottie he asked out for ice cream". I cant see the problem with that. No different in me saying I'd like to go for a spin with that good lookin hunk.


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## JaniceM (Sep 29, 2022)

Pepper said:


> @RandomName
> "(And, no, I don't think I am a handsome stud deserving a beautiful woman, just in case someone is going to accuse me of that crime, ha ha)"
> 
> In my experience, many men, handsome or not, feel they are deserving of a beautiful woman only. Those are the guys who don't want a real commitment.  I call it the 'Heart of Gold' syndrome.


Is that similar to "God's gift to women"?


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## Shalimar (Sep 29, 2022)

RandomName said:


> Blessed,
> 
> Wow, all the hate. Geez.
> 
> ...


I have found the honesty and vulnerability of your posts around your dating/friendship journey rather endearing. Takes guts to be as genuine. Props to you!


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## Pepper (Sep 29, 2022)

JaniceM said:


> Is that similar to "God's gift to women"?


You mean 'heart of gold' syndrome?  Very briefly, when a person sets up in advance, and sticks to this ideal that can't exist, a fault will always be found.  The core being the person really did not want to commit in the first place to a real human partner, not the fantasy.  Some people are not cut out for partnership.

The problem, as I see it, is that the person is dishonest in one's true intent, whether knowingly or unknowingly.  The potential partner may fall victim to the lament of 'I can't be with you; you're not perfect.'  That's not good for self esteem.

I based the name of this syndrome on lyrics of Neil Young's 'Heart of Gold'  I see this song as Neil's evidence of my 'theory.'  As in "Oh, you poor baby, you!"  Nah ah.


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## RandomName (Sep 29, 2022)

Shalimar said:


> I have found the honesty and vulnerability of your posts around your dating/friendship journey rather endearing. Takes guts to be as genuine. Props to you!



Thank you, Shalimar !


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## RandomName (Sep 29, 2022)

David777 said:


> As long as my health is ok, I'm open for a long term relationship even if not actively dating.  Am more of a informal hang out with others kind of person especially groups, than those making "dates".   I came to learn long ago as a twentysomething during the counterculture era, that shallow relationships held serious psychological and societal issues for we heterosexual biology earth monkeys, though can readily understand why many may not.



I like the idea of the group date, which we would just call going out to a movie together as a group of men and women, maybe 4, or 5 or 6 people. The we can all check each other out, and decide who, if anyone, we want to get closer to. 

Then, if you aren't really into anyone too much, there is no 'rejection' of anyone. The night is over, you go home, you have enjoyed some good company, and that's it.

I haven't ever done this, by the way, but I think it would be a low stress way to meet someone with whom you might want to go farther down the path.


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## David777 (Sep 29, 2022)

Join Meetup for your local area and search on activities like movies, dining, hiking, etc.


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## Shalimar (Sep 29, 2022)

RandomName said:


> Thank you, Shalimar !


You are most welcome.


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## Gary O' (Sep 29, 2022)

Well, I just killed a bunch of time reading all these posts.... between naps

Why all the self-imposed rules, conditions?

Just meet someone yer attracted to
Let things play out
A kinda kismet thing


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## katlupe (Sep 30, 2022)

RandomName said:


> I like the idea of the group date, which we would just call going out to a movie together as a group of men and women, maybe 4, or 5 or 6 people. The we can all check each other out, and decide who, if anyone, we want to get closer to.
> 
> Then, if you aren't really into anyone too much, there is no 'rejection' of anyone. The night is over, you go home, you have enjoyed some good company, and that's it.
> 
> I haven't ever done this, by the way, but I think it would be a low stress way to meet someone with whom you might want to go farther down the path.


This is actually a good idea. Not so much to pair off with someone but to just have people to do something with. Reminds me of my teen years meeting a group of friends at the beach and spending the whole day hanging out and getting something to eat, etc.


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## Gary O' (Sep 30, 2022)

katlupe said:


> Reminds me of my teen years meeting a group of friends at the beach and spending the whole day hanging out and getting something to eat, etc.


Man, ain't *THAT* a rush of memories! (.....or fantasies) 
Drain a keg....or two
Crank up the tunes
Drown each other in the surf
Rag tag football
Good times


katlupe said:


> spending the whole day


aaaand night
build a fire
Rap and laugh about how we'd be so old by the year 2000
Stare into the flames
Pair off......find a couple huge logs of driftwood........
Pass out
Next morn, jump into the ocean
Try to find yer clothes
......and keys
....... and wallet
.......and car


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## Mitch86 (Sep 30, 2022)

Don't forget to use 'Instant Checkmate" to see the back ground of your potential date.  You wouldn't want to date a felon or someone with other bad background.


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## Jondalar7 (Oct 4, 2022)

I rent rooms to seven women over fifty and the one that is dating shares a new drama every week. The rest say never again, they have me to take out the trash and open jars.


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## Beezer (Oct 4, 2022)

MsFox said:


> My age and older single guys are usually dirty old men, given up on life, foul-tempered, foul-smelling, judgemental, widowers who had wives that waited on them hand and foot, overzealous with religion, overzealous with politics, belligerent, have too many controlling relatives, bad health, bad breath, bad gas, a big sagging belly, bad dressers with pants bagging off their behinds supported by tacky red suspenders, no sense of humor, and the list goes on.


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## Blessed (Oct 4, 2022)

Beezer said:


> View attachment 242991


Well, she maybe telling the truth, I am not out there looking but that reply does not surprise me.  I had a few coming around after my husband passed and they were just looking for a good woman that they did not have to do all the work that required a good marriage.  It they could not do it when they were young why would they think they could do it now.  

No thanks. My husband did all the work, you can't compare!! He worked hard to take care of me and our child.  Why do some men, and I am not saying all think they can come in and just take over?  I know there are many a fine fellow out there, I just don't know them and would not have the trust that would ensure a mutual relationship.  I am not going out there searching for Prince Charming when I already found one.  I think I am lucky I just found one!!

I don't think I am anything special. Just an average lady.  I did work full time, I was the one in charge of running the home, childcare, laundry, cooking and cleaning.  The husband was out there working hard, more hours at a job than I did.  He deserved to have a  nice meal on the table, a clean bed and any other thing I could give.  He was happy he went into work with nice meal to warm up when the other guys were eating a bologna sandwich  they made that morning.  He knew and appreciated the love and care he received.  I was the same.  If I did the yard work, he did not have to worry about it.  We had more time as a family.  It is all about loving, caring for one another and doing what you can to make things easier for each other.

  I think young people play that this for that game.  That is not life.  It is about lifting the load when you can.  It is about seeing that your partner is struggling and helping them get through the hard times.  I hate to say it but the truth is divorce is to easy and love, commitment to one another seems to hard for the younger generation.  Yes, there are reasons, no doubt to leave a marriage but it shouldn't be just be for the everyday hard difficulties that come with learning to work hard to achieve the dreams you have.  True love knows that sometimes shit will hit the fan and you just have to clean it up and go forward.


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## MickaC (Oct 5, 2022)

Blessed said:


> Well, she maybe telling the truth, I am not out there looking but that reply does not surprise me.  I had a few coming around after my husband passed and they were just looking for a good woman that they did not have to do all the work that required a good marriage.  It they could not do it when they were young why would they think they could do it now.
> 
> No thanks. My husband did all the work, you can't compare!! He worked hard to take care of me and our child.  Why do some men, and I am not saying all think they can come in and just take over?  I know there are many a fine fellow out there, I just don't know them and would not have the trust that would ensure a mutual relationship.  I am not going out there searching for Prince Charming when I already found one.  I think I am lucky I just found one!!
> 
> ...


Thank you for your meaningful post. IMO, all your thoughts are truer than true. You had goals that others could not or would not achieve, and or didn’t want to bother.


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## RandomName (Oct 5, 2022)

Jondalar7 said:


> I rent rooms to seven women over fifty and the one that is dating shares a new drama every week. The rest say never again, they have me to take out the trash and open jars.



Something I have been wondering about. Do women over 50 simply not have s*xual desires, or is it that they are taking care of those desires without any help from men?


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## Patek24 (Oct 5, 2022)

RandomName said:


> Something I have been wondering about. Do women over 50 simply not have s*xual desires, or is it that they are taking care of those desires without any help from men?


What made you wonder about this, to the point of actually typing up your thoughts and posting them via a question?  Do you sincerely expect someone here to 'fess up and tell a story about their most intimate, private moments?  C'mon.


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## Nathan (Oct 5, 2022)

Patek24 said:


> RandomName said:
> 
> 
> > Something I have been wondering about. Do women over 50 simply not have s*xual desires, or is it that they are taking care of those desires without any help from men?
> ...



it's a fair question, people here share all kinds of personal thoughts.


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## Patek24 (Oct 5, 2022)

Nathan said:


> it's a fair question, people here share all kinds of personal thoughts.


But of course.  Everything here is fair game.


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## Blessed (Oct 5, 2022)

Patek24 said:


> What made you wonder about this, up to the point of actually typing your thoughts and posting them via a question?  Do you sincerely expect someone here to 'fess up and tell a story about their most intimate, private moments?  C'mon.


Yes, he does, just something anything to fuel his own thoughts.   He is just looking for a casual relationship with one or many women.  Poor thing, he can't find that, he says he just wants "some friends" some one to hang out with.  See my post #22, and he took offense to that but feels it is appropriate to ask this question.

I am sure he can find what he wants, just upload the apps "Sluts are us" and "Score a whore".  They won't want a douple dip cone of chocolate chip they will want $500 upfront, after all it is a casual relationship.  What is money between "friends"?


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## Bella (Oct 5, 2022)

Blessed said:


> Yes, he does, just something anything to fuel his own thoughts.   He is just looking for a casual relationship with one or many women.  Poor thing, he can't find that, he says he just wants "some friends" some one to hang out with. * See my post #22,* and he took offense to that but feels it is appropriate to ask this question.
> 
> I am sure he can find what he wants, just upload the apps* "Sluts are us" and "Score a whore"*.  *They won't want a douple dip cone of chocolate chip they will want $500 upfront*, after all it is a casual relationship.  What is money between "friends"?


@Blessed, you're at it again._ Please stop_ these vehement attacks on @RandomName.

Bella


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## Bella (Oct 5, 2022)

RandomName said:


> *Something I have been wondering about. Do women over 50 simply not have s*xual desires, or is it that they are taking care of those desires without any help from men?*


@RandomName, this is a loaded question, my friend. It's one that can actually be answered, but not to any degree of satisfaction because, unfortunately, this forum does not allow truly frank discussions on topics of this nature. I don't know if you recall, but one of my posts in this thread where we were discussing s exual desire and performance wasn't just censored, it was deleted. I wish I could honestly respond to your question, but I won't chance it. 

To_ partially _answer your question, I'll venture to say, yes, women over 50 do have s exual desires. How "they are taking care of those desires" is up to the individual. 

Turn about is fair play. When men over 50 have s exual desires but no woman in sight, how are they "taking care of those desires?" Give that some thought. 

Bella


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## Blessed (Oct 5, 2022)

Bella said:


> @Blessed, you're at it again._ Please stop_ these vehement attacks on @RandomName.
> 
> Bella


I will be happy to do that when he quits posting what I feel are attacks on women that are demeaning, insulting because he does not get the attention he believes he should have.  They imply we are lacking in some way but does not consider to think that the problem, the reason is his, not ours.


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## Bella (Oct 5, 2022)

Blessed said:


> *I will be happy to do that when he quits posting what I feel are attacks on women that are demeaning, insulting because he does not get the attention he believes he should have.  They imply we are lacking in some way but does not consider to think that the problem, the reason is his, not ours.*


@Blessed, he has not made "attacks on women"! _Show me_ where he has made "attacks on women". There are none. You just don't like him or what he has to say. You really need to stop this.

Bella


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## Beezer (Oct 5, 2022)




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## Blessed (Oct 5, 2022)

Bella said:


> *Are You In A Non-Relationship Relationship? *> https://www.thethingsiwishiknew.com/are-you-in-a-non-relationship-relationship/
> 
> "Are you currently spending all your free time with someone special? Dinners, late nights, weekend getaways, Sundays all day and dinner with family and friends. You are simply over the moon for them but then it occurs to you, are you in a relationship? As far as you’re concerned this is who you want to be with. Do they feel the same? You haven’t had the “we’re exclusive” conversation but given all of the above, you’re together right?! Are you in a non-relationship relationship?
> What It Looks Like​For those who don’t know what a non-relationship relationship is I thought I would give you a little insight. Who knows, you might be in one right now and not realize it. Simply put a non-relationship relationship is a relationship that entails no actual commitment. You pretty much do all the things that “couples do” but it’s not official. As in, he’s not telling his friends or anyone that you’re his girlfriend, you’re just a friend. In a non-relationship relationship, one or both individuals have one foot out the door. Technically, in their minds, they’re still single, which means they aren’t obliged to you.
> ...


I will thank you for this post.  I don't have the skill, to say things in a round about way.  I just call it as I see it and sometimes it is straight up brutal.  Some people need to step back and really look deep into there soul to find the problem is not in others but within themselves.

Having an intimate relationship with someone is more than just a body function.  No, I don't have a lot of experience in that arena.  I have only been with one person, my husband, in my whole life.  No, I am not looking for someone else.  Should I decide that I want to do that I would be looking for a good, kind, hardworking man that values God, family.  You are right, I will not post anything else regarding this matter.  What I have said could be taken as cruel, mean. It was just my honest straight forward opinion.  I also will close by saying that he is not likely to find what he is looking for because most women of our age are just not looking for that type of relationship.  I do, however, have respect for you!


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## Beezer (Oct 5, 2022)

Let's lighten the mood a bit here...


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## Bella (Oct 5, 2022)

Blessed said:


> *I will thank you for this post.  I don't have the skill, to say things in a round about way.  I just call it as I see it and sometimes it is straight up brutal.*  Some people need to step back and really look deep into there soul to find the problem is not in others but within themselves.
> 
> Having an intimate relationship with someone is more than just a body function.  No, I don't have a lot of experience in that arena.  I have only been with one person, my husband, in my whole life.  No, I am not looking for someone else.  Should I decide that I want to do that I would be looking for a good, kind, hardworking man that values God, family.  You are right, I will not post anything else regarding this matter. * What I have said could be taken as cruel, mean. It was just my honest straight forward opinion. * I also will close by saying that he is not likely to find what he is looking for because most women of our age are just not looking for that type of relationship.  *I do, however, have respect for you!*


That post was to define what a "non-relationship relationship" is, not to say anything in a roundabout way.

@Blessed, you already know I like you.  I also know that you are an intelligent, passionate woman who is capable of expressing an "honest, straight-forward opinion," "straight up" without being "brutal," "cruel" or "mean" and without attacking someone else if you choose to do so.

I have respect for others' opinions, including yours, but how they are delivered is as important as what they have to say.

Bella


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## Blessed (Oct 5, 2022)

Bella said:


> That post was to define what a "non-relationship relationship" is, not to say anything in a roundabout way.
> 
> @Blessed, you already know I like you.  I also know that you are an intelligent, passionate woman who is capable of expressing an "honest, straight-forward opinion", "straight up" without being "brutal", "cruel" or "mean" and without attacking someone else if you choose to do so.
> 
> ...


I get it, that is why I made this post.  I am aware that I can sometimes be unkind when I get upset by something.  You have the ability to look at things from all angles, sometimes I do not.  It does not change how I feel, what I think but does want me to take a step back. I will work on my delivery and try to have your grace in future.


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## Trish (Oct 6, 2022)

RandomName said:


> Something I have been wondering about. Do women over 50 simply not have s*xual desires, or is it that they are taking care of those desires without any help from men?



Personally, I don't think there is an answer to your question because it's gender and age specific and I don't believe people work that way.  Some people have desires right up until the day they leave this world, others may never really see the attraction and, maybe most people, will have come to a point in their lives where they value a loving relationship and mutual respect first, rather than a bag of cold chips and a quick shag.   (are we allowed to write "shag"? )


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## JustDave (Oct 6, 2022)

RandomName said:


> Do women over 50 simply not have s*xual desires...?


Some do, and I suspect most do, and some may just be getting started, but of course, I can't be sure about all women. Men my age spent our formative years growing up thinking men wanted sex more than women, and I believe women were taught the same thing.  My high school years seemed to reinforce that notion.  Even my undergraduate years made it seem that way, but then came the ****** revolution and  that required a reevaluation of our beliefs.  I began to challenge much of what I had been taught, and found that much of it didn't appear to be accurate, and some if it was just plain wrong.  It wasn't all about sex, either.  It took years to undo some of the crap I was taught.  Do I have it all sorted out now?  I would never assume such a thing.


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## RandomName (Oct 6, 2022)

Trish said:


> Personally, I don't think there is an answer to your question because it's gender and age specific and I don't believe people work that way.  Some people have desires right up until the day they leave this world, others may never really see the attraction and, maybe most people, will have come to a point in their lives where they value a loving relationship and mutual respect first, rather than a bag of cold chips and a quick shag.   (are we allowed to write "shag"? )



"A cold bag of chips and a quick shag". I like it ! I'm going to use that line ! Thanks! (Just kidding!) 

I know there is someone on this board who believes I will actually use that line, lol.


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## Trish (Oct 6, 2022)

RandomName said:


> "A cold bag of chips and a quick shag". I like it ! I'm going to use that line ! Thanks! (Just kidding!)
> 
> I know there is someone on this board who believes I will actually use that line, lol.


You're welcome  

Well, it is a forum and posting invites opinons which we may not always like but, often times, it's the disagreeing opinions which are the more interesting.

My opinion, for what it's worth, is that the only people who will be affected by anything we choose to do are those we choose to do it with so, if you are consenting adults both wanting the same thing, I don't see a problem.  Enjoy the chips


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## NorthernLight (Oct 6, 2022)

Women over 50 might or might not have physical desires. If they do, they might or might not take care of them somehow.

But many over-50 women are done with relationships, and will not get into a relationship just to have ***.


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## Shalimar (Oct 6, 2022)

Blessed said:


> I get it, that is why I made this post.  I am aware that I can sometimes be unkind when I get upset by something.  You have the ability to look at things from all angles, sometimes I do not.  It does not change how I feel, what I think but does want me to take a step back. I will work on my delivery and try to have your grace in future.


Classy.


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## Shalimar (Oct 6, 2022)

*Re women and sx after fifty. In my experience, some  lose interest, some want relationships, others don’t,  for a variety of reasons. Some want uncomplicated friends with benefits scenario, others care for their needs themselves. 

Mixed bag, really. I have taught some courses on female sx uality, open to all age groups, fascinating stuff. Some of the older women were amazing.*


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## Bellbird (Oct 6, 2022)

Shalimar said:


> *Re women and sx after fifty. In my experience, some  lose interest, some want relationships, others don’t,  for a variety of reasons. Some want uncomplicated friends with benefits scenario, others care for their needs themselves.
> 
> Mixed bag, really. I have taught some courses on female sx uality, open to all age groups, fascinating stuff. Some of the older women were amazing.*


I first heard the saying 'friends with benefits' on the paternity show, (what a mixed up lot they are) but I did enjoy the saying all the same.


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## LadyEmeraude (Oct 6, 2022)

Having only just now browsed this thread some but not all..

About sexuality it is the way we experience and express ourselves sexually. It involves feelings, desires, actions, and identity, and can include many different types of physical touch and things,. Intimacy imo is a feeling of closeness and connectedness in a relationship that can occur *with *or *without* a physical component, so for *senior dating* same would apply. That is all I have to say, now on to the Color Crayon thread.


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## bowmore (Oct 6, 2022)

Mitch86 said:


> Don't forget to use 'Instant Checkmate" to see the back ground of your potential date.  You wouldn't want to date a felon or someone with other bad background.


Some of those sites are kind of hinky. I ran my name once and it came back that I was in real estate(NO), was single (NO), had a salary of about $40K (I am retired) and was 55 (NO)


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## Tabby Ann (Oct 6, 2022)

RandomName said:


> Hey, Blessed, I think you have me confused with some image in your mind of someone who hurt you? Or your girlfriends have told you stories about the mean guys they have dated?
> 
> Have you read my previous posts? I already said I want affection and that does not necessarily require sex.
> 
> ...


Where did Blessed say you were an image of someone who hurt her? Nowhere.
Where did Blessed say her girlfriends told her abut mean men like you? Nowhere.
Where did Blessed say she was bitter about something? Nowhere
You would do better to avoid emotional imaginings and stick to facts,
If you want a date, focus on that and not every possible outcome from getting one.


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## Jan14 (Oct 6, 2022)

Of course many women still have physical desires.  If a man over 50 doesn’t know how to ignite it, that’s the problem Gentlemen.


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## Mitch86 (Oct 6, 2022)

Jan14 said:


> Of course many women still have physical desires.  If a man over 50 doesn’t know how to ignite it, that’s the problem Gentlemen.


I haven't "ignited" sex for 30 years now and I am 87.  My wife and I do NOT want any more kids since we already have 2 kids, six grandkids and a couple of great grandkids.  I enjoy myself playing chess and Civilization VI.


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## JaniceM (Oct 7, 2022)

Trish said:


> Personally, I don't think there is an answer to your question because it's gender and age specific and I don't believe people work that way.  Some people have desires right up until the day they leave this world, others may never really see the attraction and, maybe most people, will have come to a point in their lives where they value a loving relationship and mutual respect first, rather than a bag of cold chips and a quick shag.   (are we allowed to write "shag"? )


Maybe the censor didn't blip it out because censor doesn't 'speak' British?


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## Timewise 60+ (Oct 7, 2022)

Jan14 said:


> Of course many women still have physical desires.  If a man over 50 doesn’t know how to ignite it, that’s the problem Gentlemen.


Wow, I agree with this.  After being married for over 50 years, if I have learned anything, I have learned that making love is best if you start the process way before you ever touch.  All women have a desire.  

Talk, have a meal, go dancing, or to a concert.  Make a day of it or a weekend.  Get back in touch with her eyes, her smile, her scent.  Share your thoughts, enjoy who she is and what she wants.  Do something together that you both truly enjoy.  

Later when you first touch, touch softly, quietly, slowly.  Give her time to respond to your touch.  Wait until she lets you know what she wants! Then and only then should you proceed, letting her show you and/or tell you how she feels.   etc. etc.

Guys are wired wrong, so they must learn how to love a woman.   Women, have to be patient and good teachers as men's egos are very fragile in topics of love.


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## RandomName (Oct 8, 2022)

OK, guys. Status report from RandomName here.  

I was keeping quiet so as not to ruin my luck.  I've had 2 dates with nice women in the last 2 weeks. They were both from social groups I go to. 

For the first date we walked around a park, with her two dogs, then came back to my place and talked and watched TV, and had bagels with butter.  

The second was with my 'hottie' who already had said she would go out with me as a friend.   I finally got the nerve to ask her out for a specific day and time, and we went to a music recital, then walked around town, and ended up at a bar where I bought her dinner and a beer. We talked until 1 AM.  Still just friends, but that's fine, and is part of the deal, anyway. 

Oh, yeah, I got a kiss at the end of both dates, and they said to call them any time!     So, some good news. Yay !


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## Right Now (Oct 8, 2022)

RandomName said:


> OK, guys. Status report from RandomName here.
> 
> I was keeping quiet so as not to ruin my luck.  I've had 2 dates with nice women in the last 2 weeks. They were both from social groups I go to.
> 
> ...


@RandomName , good for you!  You must be doing something right!    The second date would be a perfect one for me, starting with the agreement to go as friends.  That lets both off the hook for calling it a date.


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## JustDave (Oct 8, 2022)

RandomName said:


> I was keeping quiet so as not to ruin my luck.  I've had 2 dates with nice women in the last 2 weeks. They were both from social groups I go to.


I hope I don't jinx anything by saying, "That sounds really nice."


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## RandomName (Oct 8, 2022)

JustDave said:


> I hope I don't jinx anything by saying, "That sounds really nice."



Ha Ha!  Thank you, Dave !


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## Mitch86 (Oct 8, 2022)

I don't date. I've been married for 62 years to the same woman.  We stopped having sex 40 years ago and are just great friends and helpers.


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## rwb (Oct 28, 2022)

It would seem that senior couples can figure out the dating thing much like younger couples.  People meet, go on dates, learn about each other and discuss attitudes, events, likes, dislikes, etc., etc.  If there is a connection the process will develop or should develop in an orderly process.  If one or the other partner is not interested in sex or any other activity for that matter, if will be evident after a few dates.  If one of the partners is too pushy  or just not appealing over the long term, it should be easy enough to cut things off and go in another direction.  If there is a ****** attraction that will be evident too, after a short time.  Open and honest discussion is likely to follow or should regarding expectations from either partner.  The advantage of our age is knowing much more than we did in our 20's.  We know what is satisfying and what is not.  We know what we liked or did not like from previous relationships and should be bright enough to avoid repeating our errors of the past.


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## Alligatorob (Oct 28, 2022)

NorthernLight said:


> Women over 50 might or might not have physical desires. If they do, they might or might not take care of them somehow.
> 
> But many over-50 women are done with relationships, and will not get into a relationship just to have ***.


I am sure that is true, but couldn't the same be said for some men?  And some men and women under 50?

People are people...


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## Raddragn (Oct 29, 2022)

I've reached a point where I have zero interest in being married or even having a "boyfriend". Too many of the men in my age group (80+) who are still around feel that the woman in a relationship should accept a subordinate position. No, thank you. I own my own home, am debt free and control my own finances - and I like it that way. I don't even date - haven't since 2001  and I frankly don't miss it at all.


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## Right Now (Oct 29, 2022)

Well, I but the brakes on dating for 12 years after my divorce.  Too much hassle, not on the same page with what a soft date was, too controlling after one date, expectations glaring at me, and more.....I'm not that great of  a catch, but I can be entertaining at times.

I'm now considering perhaps finding someone to date occasionally, nothing too heavy, just enjoying new company.
Now, if only I can find what I did with that stick to beat them off 'cuz the line was too long.....I want to be prepared.

I'll worry about the s***** attraction at a later date.    After I finish laughing at myself posting this nonsense.


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## Tabby Ann (Nov 20, 2022)

rwb said:


> It would seem that senior couples can figure out the dating thing much like younger couples. People meet, go on dates, learn about each other and discuss attitudes, events, likes, dislikes, etc., etc. If there is a connection the process will develop or should develop in an orderly process. If one or the other partner is not interested in sex or any other activity for that matter, if will be evident after a few dates. If one of the partners is too pushy or just not appealing over the long term, it should be easy enough to cut things off and go in another direction. If there is a ****** attraction that will be evident too, after a short time. Open and honest discussion is likely to follow or should regarding expectations from either partner. The advantage of our age is knowing much more than we did in our 20's. We know what is satisfying and what is not. We know what we liked or did not like from previous relationships and should be bright enough to avoid repeating our errors of the past.


So how many senior dates have you had using this procedure? The problem for elder seniors with mobility issues is stated in your second sentence. It is hard for elder seniors with mobility issues to meet each other.


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## JaniceM (Nov 20, 2022)

Alligatorob said:


> People are people...


Hey did you steal that line from me?!?   LOL !!!!


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## Alligatorob (Nov 20, 2022)

JaniceM said:


> Hey did you steal that line from me?!? LOL !!!!


Caught me, LOL


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## down2earth (Nov 20, 2022)

Years ago I watched a documentary by a 40-year-old film maker Steven Loring called, "Age of Love". The documentary followed 8 seniors (70 - 90 years old) in a speed dating event in Rochester, New York.  Loring asked the question, "Do our hearts & desires change over a lifetime?" It was sooooo touching & tender. I cried for an hour.  Watch it on youtube.  Bring tissues!


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## Ladybj (Nov 20, 2022)

RandomName said:


> Dang! I knew it!  And I guess they don't want to even date a guy since they might get 'trapped' into something long term?
> 
> I am kind of leery of having that happen to me, actually. I go out with someone, and like them just well enough to keep going out, then wham! a 'relationship' has formed! OMG !  NO !
> 
> I suppose I am really on the fence here. I do want a kind, supportive, loving woman to have and to hold. But it can go bad so easily, right? I need to think positive, lol.


As long as the two of you go in with the intention neither of you are looking for anything serious...you should be ok.  If I was single, I would date but not sure about a serious relationship.  He would have his own place and I would have mine.  Dinner at his place sometimes and dinner at mine....but no sleepovers


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## Ladybj (Nov 20, 2022)

down2earth said:


> Years ago I watched a documentary by a 40-year-old film maker Steven Loring called, "Age of Love". The documentary followed 8 seniors (70 - 90 years old) in a speed dating event in Rochester, New York.  Loring asked the question, "Do our hearts & desires change over a lifetime?" It was sooooo touching & tender. I cried for an hour.  Watch it on youtube.  Bring tissues!


I have to check that out...thanks for sharing.
I wasn't able to find it.  I saw a 2 minute trailer.


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## RandomName (Nov 24, 2022)

Right Now said:


> Well, I but the brakes on dating for 12 years after my divorce. Too much hassle, not on the same page with what a soft date was, too controlling after one date, expectations glaring at me, and more.....I'm not that great of a catch, but I can be entertaining at times. I'm now considering perhaps finding someone to date occasionally, nothing too heavy, just enjoying new company. Now, if only I can find what I did with that stick to beat them off 'cuz the line was too long.....I want to be prepared. I'll worry about the s***** attraction at a later date. After I finish laughing at myself posting this nonsense.


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## RandomName (Nov 24, 2022)

Ladybj said:


> As long as the two of you go in with the intention neither of you are looking for anything serious...you should be ok. If I was single, I would date but not sure about a serious relationship. He would have his own place and I would have mine. Dinner at his place sometimes and dinner at mine....but no sleepovers





Right Now said:


> @RandomName , good for you!  You must be doing something right!    The second date would be a perfect one for me, starting with the agreement to go as friends.  That lets both off the hook for calling it a date.


Hi guys!  I thought they deleted this whole thread for getting too racy. Just found it again! 

Update on my scene.  I am in hot and heavy with the 'animal magnetism' girl I met and asked out for ice cream.  See my previous post about the 'hottie'. 

All I wanted was to have someone to kiss and hold and be close to. She agreed to go out as friends only, so I thought it would not necessarily even get to the kissing and holding stage, but it did, and we both liked it. Neither one of us wanted to be in another 'relationship' but here we are. She is gung ho on us as a couple. And I suppose I am, too. 

I think about asking other women out, and she said she was OK with that, but I haven't actually done so. Feels like I would be 'cheating' on her, even though she is OK with it. 

She sleeps over at my place about once every 2 weeks. We only go out once or twice a week.
I pay for the dates, and she likes it that way. Me too, I guess. 

We can't keep off one another. It's like being teenagers. 

I brought up the subject of V****a, (pharmaceutical enhancement for doing the deed) and she says I don't need it. I think I do, but I am too embarrassed to mention it to my doctor. We do alternatives to straight regular s*x for now.  

I sort of don't want to even analyze it anymore, just let it develop.


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## Alligatorob (Nov 24, 2022)

RandomName said:


> I brought up the subject of V****a, (pharmaceutical enhancement for doing the deed) and she says I don't need it. I think I do, but I am too embarrassed to mention it to my doctor.


Get the prescription!  

Its easy, and your doctor gets this request all the time, should not make you uneasy.  You'd be surprised how common it is.   And it might improve  your enjoyment, if it does its well worth it.  If not nothing ventured nothing gained.


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## NorthernLight (Nov 24, 2022)

I discussed this briefly with a boyfriend before we became intimate. He said he was thinking of getting a prescription, and I said I'd rather he didn't. After 3 years I found out he'd been taking it. I felt betrayed -- like it had all been fake somehow.

So I think it depends on the two (or however many) people involved.


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## Right Now (Nov 24, 2022)

Northern Light, I can well understand how it might have felt fake.

My ex had prostrate cancer, surgery, and came out of it with his prostate intact. He had a very young doctor who gave him the V without asking, just recommended it.  My ex never had trouble before, and I told him not to take it.  But, he did, and I felt like the pill stimulated him, not me.  I never felt the same toward him after that.
Difference is if you think it may help, take it.  But if things are going well, why mess with nature?


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## Alligatorob (Nov 24, 2022)

NorthernLight said:


> After 3 years I found out he'd been taking it. I felt betrayed -- like it had all been fake somehow.


Honestly I don't know much about it, I don't take it.  However as I understand it all that V does is increase blood flow to the area, making more things possible.  It does not stimulate feelings.  Nothing fake about that.


Right Now said:


> if things are going well, why mess with nature?


Yep, I'd never suggest someone take any drug, no matter how benign, if they don't need it.


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## rwb (Nov 25, 2022)

Life goes on without using deodorant, or face creams, or lipstick and a host of other products that relate to how a person feels about themselves.  So taking a certain pill might not be any different than not wearing lipstick or using a face cream that may enhance, or at least make that person feel better about themselves in a particular situation.  So whether a person "needs" a certain pill depends on that person's own perception.  What is the possibility that SHE would not wear lipstick if He said SHE didn't need it?


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## NorthernLight (Nov 25, 2022)

@Alligatorob  I mean I felt the s*x was fake. Which is tied in with feelings of course.


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## rwb (Nov 25, 2022)

Beam me up Scotty!!


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## Alligatorob (Nov 25, 2022)

NorthernLight said:


> I mean I felt the s*x was fake.


I understand, no one wants to feel that way, no matter the reason.


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## RandomName (Nov 25, 2022)

Alligatorob said:


> I understand, no one wants to feel that way, no matter the reason.


Hi guys. 

I'm glad people are responding to my V dilemma. I got the feeling no one wanted to discuss it, lol. 

My main concern is pleasing my 'hottie'. She says she doesn't want me to get the V, that I don't need it, but that it is my decision. So she won't leave me over the issue. (By the way, I am kind of surprised some women would prefer their man NOT get V. That definitely surprised me, in a good way.)

I almost wish V didn't exist, so I wouldn't have to worry about it, lol. We would just have the s*x life we now have, and apparently, she would be happy with that. And so would I, I suppose. 

Thinking back on my earlier posts, about what I want out of a relationship, I said I was extremely lonely,  I wanted emotional closeness and someone to be with, and hug, and I must have mentioned love somewhere too, lol. And I was shy about asking women out, and I assumed they would reject me if we couldn't have basic straight s*x.   

I am not lonely any more, and I have tons of emotional closeness with my new girl. I'm going to chill out about the V for now. 

You guys are great for listening!   Thanks.


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## Pepper (Nov 25, 2022)

Why can't the word V-iagra be used?  With all the "V" talk, I thought you meant vagina.  Why is V-iagra worse than vagina?


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## Pepper (Nov 25, 2022)

@Aneeda72 
why can't a senior man be horney?  or woman for that matter?


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## Aneeda72 (Nov 25, 2022)

Pepper said:


> @Aneeda72
> why can't a senior man be horney?  or woman for that matter?


OMGosh, I didn’t say a senior, man or woman, could not be horney.  Where do you see that I wrote that?  I said seniors can not *be like teenagers.  *And I called on what is being written.  And I supported and agreed with what @Blessed said.

*But @Pepper I certainly support everyone’s right to be horney, no matter what their age.*

After all, birds do it, bees do it, even little tiny fleas do it, so why shouldn’t seniors do it?  . As for the use of V-words, idk.

As far as senior dating, well, I doubt my husband would object as long as I brought back take out to him.


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## rwb (Nov 25, 2022)

Way to go Pepper!  Nothing wrong with being horny and acting on that feeling with like minded partners!  And why is ****** targeted?? (Come on, we can't say the V word??) People take meds for depression, heart conditions, blood pressure control, weight loss, insomnia, menopause therapy etc., etc., etc.


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## Alligatorob (Nov 25, 2022)

Aneeda72 said:


> I certainly support everyone’s right to be horney, no matter what their age.


It's in the Bill of Rights, or something... isn't it?


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## Aneeda72 (Nov 25, 2022)

Alligatorob said:


> It's in the Bill of Rights, or something... isn't it?


The ”pursuit of happiness“ clause


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## Right Now (Nov 25, 2022)

Alligatorob said:


> It's in the Bill of Rights, or something... isn't it?


Don't be picking on Bill....it could be every Tom, D***, or Harry.


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## Ladybj (Nov 25, 2022)

RandomName said:


> Hi guys!  I thought they deleted this whole thread for getting too racy. Just found it again!
> 
> Update on my scene.  I am in hot and heavy with the 'animal magnetism' girl I met and asked out for ice cream.  See my previous post about the 'hottie'.
> 
> ...


I agee.. don't over analyze it - go with the flow.  Enjoy the relationship where ever it made lead.  Don't expect too much and you won't be disappointed. If she says you don't need  V-enhancement - you don't.  She will let you know.


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## Alligatorob (Nov 27, 2022)

RandomName said:


> And I guess you haven't had the good fortune, in a good while, to be 'all over each other' in the front or back seat of a car, on the first few dates, yes, like we used to do as teenagers. I'm sure there are lots of seniors doing exactly that, every night of the week. Why not?


Happy to hear your story.  Enjoy that "magnetism" its a magical feeling!


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## LadyEmeraude (Nov 27, 2022)

an interesting thread...


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## LadyEmeraude (Nov 27, 2022)

Dating, and all the related things, never are we too old for love, attractions,
we might approach it differently than in our younger years, or we might not,
all of our individual ways, follow your heart, and follow what pleases you~


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## NorthernLight (Nov 27, 2022)

I experienced the "all over each other" stage, well into my 60s. I'm glad you found someone and are having fun, @RandomName  .


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## Alligatorob (Nov 27, 2022)

Aneeda72 said:


> As a teenager, I was not allowed to date so, no back seat for me. Course in the age I grew up, having sex in the back seat of a car would have meant I was a whore. Whore, an unpopular word in this day and age.
> 
> Whore, a death sentence in the age I grew up. When pregnant teenagers were sent to the nuns, relatives, or homes for unwed mothers to have the babies which were promptly put up for adoption and never spoken of again. The age of the good old days.


Maybe... I never called anyone a "whore" and I don't recall anyone else doing it either.  

Lots of girls, and boys had sex in the back seats of cars and similar places.   

I know when we were young many boys, myself included, were not very considerate or smart, however I do not recall these girls having trouble getting dates.  And ending up married with families, if they wanted to be.  

I suspect some of the women here might fall into this category, and seem to have done just fine in life.  Makes no difference at this point.  Teenage pregnancy was a bigger thing back then, but the girls I knew who went through it went on to leave decent lives.  Though involuntarily giving up the child did happen more than it should have.


NorthernLight said:


> I experienced the "all over each other" stage, well into my 60s.


Good for you!


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## Aneeda72 (Nov 27, 2022)

Alligatorob said:


> Maybe... I never called anyone a "whore" and I don't recall anyone else doing it either.
> 
> Lots of girls, and boys had sex in the back seats of cars and similar places.
> 
> ...


I don’t think you realize how many young teens, even in Utah, are thrown out of their families for certain unacceptable activities and don’t end up married with families.  They end up in foster care, on the streets, or dead.

However, with Roe vs Wade struck down (not a political statement), the rise of the south and certain religious beliefs, the birth of unwanted babies, and the return to not so good old days, you will see.  Hopefully I am wrong.

In any event, imagine your five year old grandchild nose pressed up against the window of a car while two old seniors “acting like teenagers” strip down in the back seat and go to it.  . Hopefully @RandomName has driven the car into his garage first.


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## LadyEmeraude (Nov 27, 2022)

*Come on now! Might as well bring back POLITICS, if this is going to become a nasty knock down drag out tit for tat!
CHILL OUT and don't lose the Holiday spirit, just saying as I calmly pass through this topic...*


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