# Less than Virtuous?



## imp (Sep 7, 2015)

Do you have any "habits" of indulgence, not necessarily wrong, but such that others might find them to be, er..... undesirable? Things you enjoy, but others might not. Interests, perhaps, of dubious distinction? But still OK, with yourself, and do not intend to change.

I'll tell ya some of mine, in reciprocity!   :magnify:

imp


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## fureverywhere (Sep 7, 2015)

I'm very well read, the classics, much non-fiction, The Week, The New Yorker, The Economist, I devour them all. But one of my guilty pleasures once a week is sitting in the coffee area at Target and binge reading the newest scandal sheets. I don't watch TV and really don't give a rat's butt about all those celebrities, but it's still fun after I wash out my brain.


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## jujube (Sep 7, 2015)

I love to eat, especially things that are bad for me.  My holistic, organic, quinoa-crunching sisters are perpetually horrified by me.  Surprisingly, I'm the healthiest, even though I am considerably older than they are.


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## imp (Sep 7, 2015)

jujube said:


> I love to eat, especially things that are bad for me.  My holistic, organic, *quinoa-crunching *sisters are perpetually horrified by me.  Surprisingly, I'm the healthiest, even though I am considerably older than they are.



My wife introduced me to this stuff awhile back. Had never heard of it. Looked at it cooking in water, it resembled little bugs, of some sort, with a tiny tail sprouting outwards. I told her the  stuff looked like Protozoa, was she really going to eat it? She scowled, then went on to relate it's benefits, as revealed on some health show. Surprisingly, it is not bad! I'd still sooner eat rice, though, even knowing quinoa is better for me!    imp


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## Shirley (Sep 7, 2015)

Imp, are you writing a book? If you are, I will expect significant remuneration for the right to include my indiscretions.


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## Underock1 (Sep 7, 2015)

Living alone, I don't have to worry about offending anyone. I could list a few things that help me get through the day, that would undoubtedly offend a few people. The best thing about reaching this stage in life is that I really don't care about that anymore.:nose-pick:


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## SifuPhil (Sep 7, 2015)

My very existence offends most people so yeah, you could say I have a few less-than-virtuous hobbies ...


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## imp (Sep 7, 2015)

Underock1 said:


> Living alone, I don't have to worry about offending anyone. I could list a few things that help me get through the day, that would undoubtedly offend a few people. The best thing about reaching this stage in life is that I really don't care about that anymore.:nose-pick:



Please help me understand how you have coped with the loss of a wife and son within the span of less than two years. If this is too personal, you may tell me to go to hell! I am not offended easily. We all, here, care about the  others' welfare, I believe.         imp


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## imp (Sep 7, 2015)

SifuPhil said:


> My very existence offends most people so yeah, you could say *I have a few less-than-virtuous ho*bbies ...



Share! Share! That we may compare!    imp


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## Underock1 (Sep 8, 2015)

imp said:


> Please help me understand how you have coped with the loss of a wife and son within the span of less than two years. If this is too personal, you may tell me to go to hell! I am not offended easily. We all, here, care about the  others' welfare, I believe.         imp



Why would I tell you to go to Hell, Imp? Its nice of you to care.
If I gave you all of the grimmer details you would get the wrong impression. Keeping it simple. My son lived with us. In the year before his death, he was our loving care giver. He was a recovered alcoholic. The pressures of caring for us added to work stresses pushed him back to drinking. From being our savior, he became another problem. We never got an autopsy back, but he either fell and hit his head, or drank himself to death. I can't stress too much what a truly loving person he was. We loved him dearly, but with his addiction and at fifty years old his life's prospects were dim. We looked at his death as saving him from a very unhappy future.
 My wife was a forty year diabetic. She had to use a walker and I walk with a cane. I took her to dialysis three times a week where she had needles stuck in her and was hooked to a machine for four hour sessions. We did that for three years or more, driving over dark, snow covered roads in the Winter at 6:30AM. She eventually started falling down, and was sent to a rehab facility. She gradually deteriorated and became permanently hospitalized without hope of ever coming home. She developed early dementia towards the very end, and then they found a tumor on her colon. As with my son, her death ended years of suffering and she was no longer able to enjoy her life. 
I have always been a realist. As tragic as it truly has been for me, on reflection, their passing was for the best for both of them. There is no happy answer to the ending that must come to all couples. I am just glad that I was able to be around to see my sweetie off. As I've posted elsewhere, our last months together were some of the happiest days of our life. Loving and laughing, we did a lot of summing up of our life together and found it to be good. What more can you ask for?


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## SifuPhil (Sep 8, 2015)

imp said:


> Share! Share! That we may compare!    imp



“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out  of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at  my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”   
_*―     Marilyn Monroe*_


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## chic (Sep 8, 2015)

I love reading true crime novels and trying to solve unsolved murders. This could probably get on another person's nerves because I enjoy discussing the subject at length.


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## hollydolly (Sep 8, 2015)

Yep I put on a fake beard and dress up in construction clothing  and call myself Frank...but only on weekends.. :darth:


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## Underock1 (Sep 8, 2015)

hollydolly said:


> Yep I put on a fake beard and dress up in construction clothing  and call myself Frank...but only on weekends.. :darth:



I believe that! :laugh:


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## Ralphy1 (Sep 8, 2015)

Loud music of all kinds...


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## Linda (Sep 8, 2015)

I put half and half in my coffee each morning.  But just in the last couple weeks I have heard that Tequila lowers your blood sugar (I don't have a problem with blood sugar) and lowers cholesterol (my cholesterol is fine also) so I might start taking a sip or two of that each day to keep my cholesterol from becoming a problem.


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## jujube (Sep 8, 2015)

Linda said:


> I have heard that Tequila lowers your blood sugar (I don't have a problem with blood sugar) and lowers cholesterol (my cholesterol is fine also) so I might start taking a sip or two of that each day to keep my cholesterol from becoming a problem.



Oh, good....I'm going to live forever.


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## lb1818 (Sep 8, 2015)

Hmmm, not fun to admit but  I'm addicted to nicotine gum.   Many years unfortunately.   Now that I'm retired - quitting it is on the top of my 'to do' list.

Lu


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## Butterfly (Sep 8, 2015)

fureverywhere said:


> I'm very well read, the classics, much non-fiction, The Week, The New Yorker, The Economist, I devour them all. But one of my guilty pleasures once a week is sitting in the coffee area at Target and binge reading the newest scandal sheets. I don't watch TV and really don't give a rat's butt about all those celebrities, but it's still fun after I wash out my brain.



Me, too, and every time I wind up in some waiting room I make a beeline for the People or Star mag and read up on a lot of celebrities I've never even heard of.  I especially like to see the crazy outfits they go out in.  In my dentist's office it is a choice between People or National Geographics from about 1943.


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## imp (Sep 8, 2015)

Underock1 said:


> Why would I tell you to go to Hell, Imp? Its nice of you to care.
> If I gave you all of the grimmer details you would get the wrong impression. Keeping it simple. My son lived with us. In the year before his death, he was our loving care giver. He was a recovered alcoholic. The pressures of caring for us added to work stresses pushed him back to drinking. From being our savior, he became another problem. We never got an autopsy back, but he either fell and hit his head, or drank himself to death. I can't stress too much what a truly loving person he was. We loved him dearly, but with his addiction and at fifty years old his life's prospects were dim. We looked at his death as saving him from a very unhappy future.
> My wife was a forty year diabetic. She had to use a walker and I walk with a cane. I took her to dialysis three times a week where she had needles stuck in her and was hooked to a machine for four hour sessions. We did that for three years or more, driving over dark, snow covered roads in the Winter at 6:30AM. She eventually started falling down, and was sent to a rehab facility. She gradually deteriorated and became permanently hospitalized without hope of ever coming home. She developed early dementia towards the very end, and then they found a tumor on her colon. As with my son, her death ended years of suffering and she was no longer able to enjoy her life.
> I have always been a realist. As tragic as it truly has been for me, on reflection, their passing was for the best for both of them. There is no happy answer to the ending that must come to all couples. I am just glad that I was able to be around to see my sweetie off. As I've posted elsewhere, our last months together were some of the happiest days of our life. Loving and laughing, we did a lot of summing up of our life together and found it to be good. What more can you ask for?



Sir, you are a most meritorious member here! I had no idea you had posted about this before; I got the info from your profile, yesterday. That you have been able to cope, and accept, as you have, constitutes stand-alone personal resilience. Faced with similar circumstance, I think I would crumple.    imp


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## Underock1 (Sep 8, 2015)

imp said:


> Sir, you are a most meritorious member here! I had no idea you had posted about this before; I got the info from your profile, yesterday. That you have been able to cope, and accept, as you have, constitutes stand-alone personal resilience. Faced with similar circumstance, I think I would crumple.    imp



Believe me imp. I _do _crumple up. Its nice to be told about how strong you are and how well you are handling it, but the simple truth is you have no choice. Of course I could shoot myself, but I'm sure I would miss. Besides, I do enjoy watching my older son and my grandsons enjoying their lives. I still find the world to be a fascinating place. You guys can still make me laugh.
Acceptance is the key. "Everything that has a beginning has an ending. _Make your peace with that. _and all will be well."
-Attributed to Buddha. Thank you for your thoughts, imp, and your very kind words.


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## imp (Sep 8, 2015)

I am humbled by your stance. Thank you.    imp


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## oakapple (Sep 9, 2015)

It seems we are a nice bunch on here after all ( or we are a bit coy about the truth.)I have nothing to say on the matter as everything that I do is virtuous.


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## Shirley (Sep 9, 2015)

I'm still waiting for Imp to make me an offer I can't refuse.


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## Shalimar (Sep 9, 2015)

My love of "theatre of the absurd" type humour frequently gets me into trouble. It is a way of bringing balance into my world, a coping mechanism found among many in the helping professions.


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## imp (Sep 9, 2015)

Linda said:


> I put half and half in my coffee each morning.  But just in the last couple weeks I have heard that Tequila lowers your blood sugar (I don't have a problem with blood sugar) and lowers cholesterol (my cholesterol is fine also) so I might start taking a sip or two of that each day to keep my cholesterol from becoming a problem.



It is only a real cure so long as the Tequila is of such quality that the bottle contains a dead worm floating around in it.   imp


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## imp (Sep 9, 2015)

Shirley said:


> I'm still waiting for Imp to make me an offer I can't refuse.



"Come on 'a my house, 'a my house,

I'm gonna buy you anything......."    Ha!

Who was it, Rosemary Clooney?     imp


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## imp (Sep 9, 2015)

lb1818 said:


> Hmmm, not fun to admit but  I'm addicted to nicotine gum.   Many years unfortunately.   Now that I'm retired - quitting it is on the top of my 'to do' list.
> 
> Lu



Have you tried "Vapin"?    imp


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## imp (Sep 9, 2015)

Shirley said:


> Imp, are you writing a book? If you are, I will expect significant remuneration for the right to include my indiscretions.



I failed high school Senior English, so I likely would make a poor writer. Although, feeling I have been "around the block" many more times than the average oldster, perhaps an autobiography.......?

I shall consult with SeaBreeze.    imp


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## lb1818 (Sep 9, 2015)

imp said:


> Have you tried "Vapin"?    imp



Nope...I'm afraid that would be too much like actually smoking.  I just have to stop being a wuss and quit! No excuses.   But thanks for the suggestion Imp!


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## Cookie (Sep 9, 2015)

I have a very bad vice --- If I have vanilla ice cream I like to put a few scoops into my morning coffee.  So absolutely delicious.  Luckily I don't always have ice cream.  Try it sometime.


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## Shalimar (Sep 9, 2015)

Cookie, I will. Tomorrow morning!


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## Cookie (Sep 9, 2015)

Enjoy, Shali, but careful not to become hooked!


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## Shalimar (Sep 9, 2015)

But an ice cream addiction is a good thing!


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## Cookie (Sep 9, 2015)

I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!   Yay!


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## jujube (Sep 9, 2015)

Underock1 said:


> Believe me imp. I _do _crumple up. Its nice to be told about how strong you are and how well you are handling it, but the simple truth is you have no choice. *Of course I could shoot myself, but I'm sure I would miss.*



Reminds me of the woman who decided she wanted to shoot herself, but first she wanted to make sure she knew where her heart was so she could do it right.  She went to her doctor and asked "Exactly where is my heart?"  The doctor replied, "Well, Mrs. Jones, it's right under your left breast."

That night she was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her left hip.


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## fishfulthinking (Sep 10, 2015)

Yes, I am a classic, full on Introvert.  (we do ok online and look very social, but in the "real" world no so much)  I often will disappear off the grid and be out of touch with friends and family.  This really chaps their hides.  My father is bothered the most.  He thinks I ignore him and can't understand I need my alone time just because that is how I function.


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## Underock1 (Sep 10, 2015)

fishfulthinking said:


> Yes, I am a classic, full on Introvert.  (we do ok online and look very social, but in the "real" world no so much)  I often will disappear off the grid and be out of touch with friends and family.  This really chaps their hides.  My father is bothered the most.  He thinks I ignore him and can't understand I need my alone time just because that is how I function.



I hear you. No one understands introverts. I do seriously love my family ( what's left of it ) and enjoy other people, but it has to be in small doses. The Internet is a perfect medium. I can go until I'm fatigued and then stop and recharge my batteries.
I'm sure you are up on the latest findings on the introvert brain. Its not a disease, just a different way of thinking.


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## Shalimar (Sep 10, 2015)

I think the same can be said of the sensitive/empathetic brain. Those of us so wired burn out dealing with other's emotions unless given regular opportunities for  a recharge. At least, this has been my personal experience. Those close to me understand, and give me the space I require.


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## imp (Sep 10, 2015)

Your avatar is very pretty! Reminds me of how much my Mother loved birds, especially Cardinals. So many things I should have said before she left. Crying is disallowed for imps, but I can still reminisce, and wasn't even a "Momma's boy" much.     imp

Edit: Sorry about this misplaced post! It was obviously intended as an answer to lb1818.


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## Underock1 (Sep 10, 2015)

imp said:


> Your avatar is very pretty! Reminds me of how much my Mother loved birds, especially Cardinals. So many things I should have said before she left. Crying is disallowed for imps, but I can still reminisce, and wasn't even a "Momma's boy" much.     imp



Crying is allowed for everyone, imp. Put aside all of that macho crap that we have had to hold up as our image all these years and have at it. My own grief has mended to the point where I can get through a day or so living my new reality without thinking of my losses. I can not let my memories die. They are all I have left. Sure. It hurts, but crying is remembering, so I will often deliberately make time for it.There are always regrets about the things we should have done or not have done. Put those to bed. There were reasons for the way we acted at the time. The fact that you have regrets indicates that you truly loved your mother and that is all that mattered.


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## lb1818 (Sep 10, 2015)

imp said:


> Your avatar is very pretty! Reminds me of how much my Mother loved birds, especially Cardinals. So many things I should have said before she left. Crying is disallowed for imps, but I can still reminisce, and wasn't even a "Momma's boy" much.     imp



Imp - My Mother loved cardinals too, that's why they're so special to me.    All those things we should have said....they knew.    That's a "Mom" thing Imp.


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## tnthomas (Sep 10, 2015)

Linda said:


> *I put half and half in my coffee* each morning.  But just in the last couple weeks I have heard that Tequila lowers your blood sugar (I don't have a problem with blood sugar) and lowers cholesterol (my cholesterol is fine also) so I might start taking a sip or two of that each day to keep my cholesterol from becoming a problem.



Well now there's a huge breach of virtue!   :wink:


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## imp (Sep 10, 2015)

*"you truly loved your mother and that is all that mattered"

*But realized the fact too late.   imp


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## Underock1 (Sep 10, 2015)

imp said:


> *"you truly loved your mother and that is all that mattered"
> 
> *But realized the fact too late.   imp



Perhaps you didn't realize it at the time, but if you did, she knew. You're beating yourself up for no reason. imp.


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## imp (Sep 10, 2015)

Guilty, guilty feeling, mebbe. There are various "dark sides" to my persona, never to be detected by any, not even my "shrink", Shalimar. 

Exceedingly complex nature. Somehow likeable, some ways disparaging, all ways heading towards disintegration. See why I suggested maybe some folks might bicker over such things "outside"? Waste of forum time.   imp


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## Shalimar (Sep 10, 2015)

Trust us on this one Imp. I am a mother, she knew. Let it go.


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## fishfulthinking (Sep 11, 2015)

Underock1 said:


> I hear you. No one understands introverts. I do seriously love my family ( what's left of it ) and enjoy other people, but it has to be in small doses. The Internet is a perfect medium. I can go until I'm fatigued and then stop and recharge my batteries.
> I'm sure you are up on the latest findings on the introvert brain. Its not a disease, just a different way of thinking.



  So true UnderRock.  We are very misunderstood.  I at times even find my family too much.  They are loud, and the most frustrating part is I feel they all talk over top of each other.  This seriously stresses me out to the point where I shut down and want to leave the event and go home to my "cave".  As for the latest studies, yes I have found them quite fascinating.  It is refreshing to find out my "motto" in life is quite normal among introverts......"I will be social on my own terms"    Perhaps we need an introvert versus extrovert thread lol


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