# Am I in the minority on the idea of giving a used items as a holiday or birthday gifts?



## debodun (Oct 23, 2017)

My mom and I used to go all over to garage and rummage sales. That's where we got each other's Christmas gifts. As long as it was something we knew each other liked, we were delighted and had a ball. I would get her china, glass and ceramic items and she'd look out for cat figurines, teacups, costume jewelry and knickknacks for me. However, when I try this on other people, they do not seem to appreciate getting used things, even if they are collector's items. When did we get so fussy?


----------



## Falcon (Oct 23, 2017)

If  it   were something I KNEW a friend  would like, I'd be sure to give it to that friend.


----------



## Aunt Bea (Oct 23, 2017)

If a close friend collects those items I would not hesitate to use them as gifts but I would not make it a general rule for everyone on my shopping list.

This thread brought to mind the idea of regifting. 

Years ago I received a very nice bottle of champagne as a gift from a friend.  I regifted it to another friend and they in turn regifted it, that poor bottle made the rounds of my friends until one night we finally drank it to put the poor thing out of its misery.


----------



## SeaBreeze (Oct 23, 2017)

I wouldn't want to receive anything used as a gift, unless let's say I was an avid collector of depression glass and they gave me a piece that was in excellent condition to compliment my collection, similar to what Aunt Bea said.  

Funny about the bottle of champagne Aunt Bea, glad you guys were kind enough to finally put it out of its misery.


----------



## debodun (Oct 23, 2017)

Once my boss gave me a brooch for Christmas that I had given her daughter as a birthday gift. Now THAT was thoughtless!


----------



## debodun (Oct 23, 2017)

Aunt Bea said:


> Years ago I received a very nice bottle of champagne as a gift from a friend.  I regifted it to another friend and they in turn regifted it, that poor bottle made the rounds of my friends until one night we finally drank it to put the poor thing out of its misery.



Did that go with that fruitcake that keeps getting re-gifted?


----------



## CeeCee (Oct 23, 2017)

SeaBreeze said:


> I wouldn't want to receive anything used as a gift, unless let's say I was an avid collector of depression glass and they gave me a piece that was in excellent condition to compliment my collection, similar to what Aunt Bea said.
> 
> Funny about the bottle of champagne Aunt Bea, glad you guys were kind enough to finally put it out of its misery.




I kind of agree, SB.  If you can't afford it, make me something or don't give me anything at all...I would understand.  It's not that I'm against used items but not as a gift unless I'm a collector or something similar.


----------



## Aunt Bea (Oct 23, 2017)

debodun said:


> Did that go with that fruitcake that keeps getting re-gifted?



I enjoy fruitcake, I would never regift one of those.

If it was the brooch I would wonder if it was some sort of message from my boss and not a thoughtless mistake, that's just how my suspicious mind works, LOL!!!


----------



## applecruncher (Oct 23, 2017)

I wouldn't give someone a used item for a birthday or Christmas gift.  Generally speaking, that's tacky imho.  As a recipient I'd rather someone go to the dollar store and get me a new $2 dishtowel instead of a used (whatever).   While there might be exceptions, if someone isn't poor and _always_ gives used items as gifts, they're probably a cheapskate and also a bit lazy.....unless it's a used Tiffany lamp, used Rolex, or used Mercedes in mint condition. 

If someone has a used item (regardless of where they got it) they can offer it. I might like it.  Or maybe I know someone who would.  But, don't mask it as a "gift".


----------



## Meanderer (Oct 23, 2017)

If you enjoy receiving used items as gifts, then go ahead.


----------



## Smiling Jane (Oct 23, 2017)

debodun said:


> My mom and I used to go all over to garage and rummage sales. That's where we got each other's Christmas gifts. As long as it was something we knew each other liked, we were delighted and had a ball. I would get her china, glass and ceramic items and she'd look out for cat figurines, teacups, costume jewelry and knickknacks for me. However, when I try this on other people, they do not seem to appreciate getting used things, even if they are collector's items. When did we get so fussy?



I would be tickled pink if someone who knew what I like bought me china, glass and ceramic items or estate jewelry. I loved and admired a friend's unique dragonfly pin years ago and she wrapped it beautifully and gave it to me for my birthday. It was special because it was gorgeous but also because I had always enjoyed seeing it on her.

I would probably feel the same way about top of the line kitchen appliances that were in good shape. If someone gave me a Vitamix or an Electrolux or Bosch mixer or a Zo breadmaker, I would be blissful.


----------



## NancyNGA (Oct 23, 2017)

There is a difference between used and vintage.   Vintage is usually something you can't buy anymore.  I would know the difference and very much enjoy receiving vintage gifts, in general.


----------



## terry123 (Oct 23, 2017)

CeeCee said:


> I kind of agree, SB.  If you can't afford it, make me something or don't give me anything at all...I would understand.  It's not that I'm against used items but not as a gift unless I'm a collector or something similar.


Right there with y'all, ceecee.  Don't give me anything if all you can give is used.  I collect polish pottery but not many folks know it and they sure would not give it to me as its a little pricey.


----------



## Aunt Bea (Oct 23, 2017)

terry123 said:


> Right there with y'all, ceecee.  Don't give me anything if all you can give is used. * I collect polish pottery but not many folks know it and they sure would not give it to me as its a little pricey.*



Pricey but pretty!!!


----------



## Ruthanne (Oct 23, 2017)

I wouldn't want something used unless it was something I really would like, like a used car!  

I often shop at the dollar store for gifts and get some pretty nice stuff for cheap.  It's all I can afford.


----------



## hollydolly (Oct 23, 2017)

Nope I would rather have a used probably well loved antique as a gift  than anything from the Dollar store...


----------



## Butterfly (Oct 23, 2017)

I would never give a used item as a gift, unless is was something the person collected, like a piece of depression glass or a vintage Wedgewood piece I knew the person wanted, or something like that.


----------



## hearlady (Oct 24, 2017)

In general no but I have given my daughter's some jewelry I got at a thrift store. They love it and one still always wears her ring.

Every year I joke I'm going to start giving each member of the family a recycled gift which means some hand me down I want to get rid of but so far I've rethought that idea.


----------



## Gary O' (Oct 24, 2017)

I HAVE gotten fussy, inregards to anyone getting ME anything.Whatever it is, I usually don’t want/need it, have one already, or it’s not my taste.
However, nothing makes me happier than a bag of shop towels.
Christmas is for kids.





I wrote something on Christmas's past.

Might as well put it here (not required reading);




Christmas 1954

I knew what was coming….really, for once I knew.
The tree, the lights, the bubbling ones, the tinsel, the snow outside, the oil stove warming everyone (everyone that stood smack dab on the stove), the windows adorned with Christmas icing, and….the presents.
I just took it all in, quietly, unassuming, sizing things up.
(‘Hmm, so this happens, say, every year…huh’)

I never said much for, oh, about twenty some years, and at four didn’t say anything, ever.
I cast a rather small shadow, and more than a few times got left at places. Not on purpose, but I just wasn’t much of a bother to anyone…to the point of, to some extent, non-existence.
Mom forgot me at the Montgomery Wards store once. 
Huge multi-storied store…fascinating. 
She eventually came back and got me even though I wasn’t quite done window shopping.
I wonder how far out of the store she got, or did she get halfway home, or even home and realize, sitting the table, that, hey, the tiny person that normally occupies the booster seat is not here.

I really enjoyed the anonymity. 
It gave me time to take in all I could, and remain in my own thoughts.
Kids were pretty much trained to be out of sight when folks came over.
Ever once in a while someone would ask,

‘And what’s your name young man?’

‘Dad, it’s me, Gary.’

My sis would take my hand and guide me over to the tree, pointing out each and every glittery thing.
It was a no shit moment, but knew it made her feel good, so let it happen.

The day came.

I should say the day before came, as we traditionally opened gifts on Christmas eve.

Gramma and Grampa came down the hill to participate.
I’d say it was around 6pm, as it was dark out and everybody had already eaten.
My sis played santy, handing gifts to Gramma and Grampa.
I was busy watching while trying to crack the walnuts and Brazil nuts from my stocking.
I couldn’t help but observe the fake happiness and surprise from everyone as they opened their gifts…everyone but Grampa. He was rather gruff, and had a habit of saying exactly what he thought.

‘I already have a tie.’

I loved him.
Didn’t even give much thought to that emotion back then, but now I know I loved him.

It came to be my turn to open my gifts.
Not a big trick, as my stuff was in a large sack.
It was a sack full of toys…..cars, trucks, a harmonica, and some little bags of hard candy.
The thing is, the toys were all kinda beat up, trucks with missing wheels, and everything was a bit scuffed, dented and rusty in places.
It didn’t bother me a whit. I loved it all.
But I remember the look on my Dad’s face as he watched me haul them outta thebag.
He was ashamed.
I felt like saying something comforting…but didn’t.
My feelings of making the situation even harder on him by saying ‘it’s OK’ won out.
Every Christmas after that was huge.

Funny, not haha funny, but oddly strange, my thoughts on his mental processes.
For years I rather pitied him for toiling to get us what he thought was what we wanted.
Him, the bread winner, the toy winner, the house, food and warmth provider. 
How he fell head first into the American dream…the freaking nightmare.
But in my early years of fatherhood I came to understand.
He was from an era that dictated those things….’things’.

Christmas 1972 
We were a tad impoverished.
Poverty stricken was a status I was striving for.
We managed a few meager toys from the five and dime, and wrapped them in newspaper, placing them under the tree limb from the neighbor’s backyard that had miraculously blown down from one of their giant firs.
We watched the boys unwrap their tinsel strength early China bobbles.
They lasted almost long enough to get ‘em outta the newspaper, disintegrating in their little ink stained hands.
However, as my lady wiped last Wednesday’s headlines from their fingers so they could drink their mug of hot cinnamon tea and suck one their tiny candy canes, I whipped out to the truck to bring in the toy of toys…the one that would give back.

My eldest named the little puppy from the pound, Felix.
Felix the dog…hey, it was original.
Only he was too young to pronounce the name Felix, so it came out ‘juwix’.
The thing is, a few moments after cleaning up the vomit and diarrhea from the truck seat, floorboard and doors, and myself, it dawned on me that Felix may not have been the best of finds.
The next morning my eldest seemed to have lost track of him, so we both went looking.

‘Juwix….Juuuuwix…heeeere Juwix’

I got a kick out of his determination in locating his new little buddy, trudging around the yard, big cheeks housed upon his tiny neck earnestly calling out with his baby Elmer Fudd like voice…‘Juwix….Juuuuwix…heeeere Juwix’.

Unfortunately we found Juwix.
He was under a gap in the wood pile…rather stiff.
So, as my Dad, twenty some years before, I vowed to provide a better Christmas for the years to come.
Not lavish ones, but ones that bore a couple substantial gifts for each of my little beings.

Christmas now?

Keep yer tie money.


----------



## Anomaly 73 (Oct 24, 2017)

Great stories Gary. Your words made them vivid...good show. I try to provide gifts that will *remain* in my kids/grand kids lives...Santa Claus immortality. 

As far as new vs used goes: older *stuff* seems to be built better than the new *stuff*, so....
And then, there's always...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvgN5gCuLac


----------



## Gary O' (Oct 24, 2017)

Anomaly 73 said:


> I try to provide gifts that will *remain* in my kids/grand kids lives...Santa Claus immortality.



I have been known to butcher something outta wood for certain kids
Some like 'em, some don't
Maybe this year, bags of kindling (switches)


----------



## nvtribefan (Oct 24, 2017)

debodun said:


> Once my boss gave me a brooch for Christmas that I had given her daughter as a birthday gift. Now THAT was thoughtless!



Was it a used brooch you bought at a garage sale?


----------



## applecruncher (Oct 24, 2017)

^^ If so it wasn't thoughtless, it was deliberate.


----------



## debodun (Oct 24, 2017)

nvtribefan said:


> Was it a used brooch you bought at a garage sale?



No, I bought it in a retail store, but how would she have known otherwise?


----------



## RadishRose (Oct 24, 2017)

Yes. You are in the minority.


----------



## applecruncher (Oct 24, 2017)

debodun said:


> Once my boss gave me a brooch for Christmas that I had given her daughter as a birthday gift. Now THAT was thoughtless!



OP, of course we don't know the nuances of the relationship between you and your boss.  However, I think giving the brooch back to you was a passive-aggressive move on the boss's part. Regardless of where you got the brooch neither daughter nor mother wanted it. So it was given back to you.


----------



## Shalimar (Oct 24, 2017)

debodun said:


> Once my boss gave me a brooch for Christmas that I had given her daughter as a birthday gift. Now THAT was thoughtless!


It was. One can hope they couldn't recall that you were the person who originally gifted the brooch.


----------



## Cap'nSacto (Oct 24, 2017)

Shalimar said:


> It was. One can hope they couldn't recall that you were the person who originally gifted the brooch.



It could've been accidental. I've done it; I asked one of my granddaughters if she'd like to have a pretty glass paperweight I'd gotten from "somewhere." She said, "Grandpa! *I* gave that to you."

The only thing I could think to say to fix that one was, "Well, no wonder it made me think of you." But talk about awkward.


----------



## Smiling Jane (Oct 24, 2017)

I've never regifted anything, but if I were going to, I would make sure it wasn't to the person who gave it to me. I could see giving a gift to someone who would want or use it more than I would, but I would also make sure they knew where it came from. Anything else would feel like fraud.

[This was in response to Shalimar's post.]


----------



## Shalimar (Oct 24, 2017)

Cap'nSacto said:


> It could've been accidental. I've done it; I asked one of my granddaughters if she'd like to have a pretty glass paperweight I'd gotten from "somewhere." She said, "Grandpa! *I* gave that to you."
> 
> The only thing I could think to say to fix that one was, "Well, no wonder it made me think of you." But talk about awkward.


I bet! I suspect this happens more often than we think.


----------



## Ruth n Jersey (Oct 24, 2017)

A couple of years ago after spending hours trying to find a gift for the friends and relatives on my Christmas list who had everything, I asked them when we were all gathered together if buying each other some used item or making something for each other might be a fun idea for the following year. You could have heard a pin drop. The younger ones rolled their eyes and the older ones sat with their mouths open. Obviously they thought it was a terrible idea. One of the nicest gifts I ever received was from my sister in law who is on the same page as I am about gifts.  She gave me an an old cookbook held together with a piece of ribbon. I collected cookbooks at the time and really appreciated it. I still have it.


----------



## hearlady (Oct 25, 2017)

Great stories Gary O'!


----------



## Sassycakes (Oct 26, 2017)

I wouldn't mind if I was given a used gift. It might be something someone thought I might enjoy. I've always felt that it was the thought behind the gift,not the gift itself.


----------



## jujube (Nov 7, 2017)

Back when I collected Santa Clauses, I loved getting old Santas.  The "more loved", the better.


----------



## debodun (Nov 8, 2017)

I rather receive a used item that I liked than a new, store-bought gift for which I had no use.


----------



## GeorgiaXplant (Nov 8, 2017)

I'm with you there, Deb. Don't care if it comes from a thrift shop, garage sale, a possession of the giver. If it's something I like (or have coveted, LOL), it's something the giver can certainly give me.

Actually, I've been meaning to ask my kids if there's anything that I have now--although I have very little--that they'd like. My parents asked each of us if there was anything specific we'd like to inherit, then made labels to put on everything that had been spoken for indicating who got what. Labels in places where they wouldn't be noticed, of course.


----------

