# Aint't it Funny.......How Time Slips Away



## imp (Jan 8, 2016)

I have cousin who was born the same year as my sister, they attended school and palled around together, as my Grandpa offered an apartment to both my folks and my Dad's sister during the Depression; he owned a 3-flat in Cicero (Illinois). Cousin Tom led an exemplary life, never smoked, never drank, married still to his original high-school girlfriend. He remained in the Chicago area, and while I saw him last in 1995, at my sister's funeral, she was only 65, we have not been in touch for years. 

Somehow, last year, he heard we were back out in AZ. Turns out, he and his wife have a home in Surprise, AZ, same as AZJim, which they use 6 months out of the year, have been doing so for 16 years. I wrote to him about a month ago, that I would be travelling through Surprise taking my wife to the Mesa airport, then again, picking her up in 2 weeks. I suggested we ought to get together.

Today I got his letter. Diagnosed with Esophagus Cancer, already began chemo and radiation; not coming here, first time in 16 years. I was stunned.

What could I write back to him, what vein? Or don't write at all. Old age dishes it out, eh?   imp


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## jujube (Jan 8, 2016)

Just write that you are thinking about him and hope for the best with his chemo.  So many people think they have to pussy-foot around the subject, but cancer patients are most often quite philosophical about what they're going through.  It helps to know that other people are pulling for them by sending prayers or good thoughts.


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## SeaBreeze (Jan 8, 2016)

My condolences for the loss of your sister Imp, and I'm so sorry to hear your cousin has cancer and won't be seeing you.  I lost my sister at 42 to cancer.  If I were you, I'd write back and let him know you're disappointed that you won't visit with him and you wish him well.  Age doesn't matter when it comes to cancer, even babies are cursed with it.  I hear that those with a lot of acid reflux may get cancer of the esophagus, from the harsh irritation of the acid.


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## SifuPhil (Jan 8, 2016)

Excellent advise from JuJube, Imp. I couldn't offer any better. 

Time does indeed slip through our fingers - that's why it's so important to grab it while we can.


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## fureverywhere (Jan 8, 2016)

Yeah I feel a bit bitter with my cousins. I was devastated when my Mom died in 1989. I remember them at the funeral, like a wave and howsit goin'...Now thirty years later and we're all older. With the one his Mom died last year and the other his Dad is suddenly paralyzed and bed bound. But yeah time just goes pffffft and you don't know what to do sometimes. Yes you were teens when I needed you but...


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## Underock1 (Jan 8, 2016)

SeaBreeze said:


> My condolences for the loss of your sister Imp, and I'm so sorry to hear your cousin has cancer and won't be seeing you.  I lost my sister at 42 to cancer.  If I were you, I'd write back and let him know you're disappointed that you won't visit with him and you wish him well.  Age doesn't matter when it comes to cancer, even babies are cursed with it.  I hear that those with a lot of acid reflux may get cancer of the esophagus, from the harsh irritation of the acid.



I wouldn't over worry, QS. I have Barret's which is an increased risk factor. Stopped having it checked many years ago. Just researched it last week out of curiosity. The odds of contracting cancer from it are _very _low. Prilosec works like a charm on my reflex.


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## Butterfly (Jan 8, 2016)

imp said:


> I have cousin who was born the same year as my sister, they attended school and palled around together, as my Grandpa offered an apartment to both my folks and my Dad's sister during the Depression; he owned a 3-flat in Cicero (Illinois). Cousin Tom led an exemplary life, never smoked, never drank, married still to his original high-school girlfriend. He remained in the Chicago area, and while I saw him last in 1995, at my sister's funeral, she was only 65, we have not been in touch for years.
> 
> Somehow, last year, he heard we were back out in AZ. Turns out, he and his wife have a home in Surprise, AZ, same as AZJim, which they use 6 months out of the year, have been doing so for 16 years. I wrote to him about a month ago, that I would be travelling through Surprise taking my wife to the Mesa airport, then again, picking her up in 2 weeks. I suggested we ought to get together.
> 
> ...



Of course write to him.  Just because he has cancer does not make him less of a person.  Tell him you are sorry to hear it, etc. and that you wish him well and are thinking of him, or whatever you feel like writing.  Too often people act like people with cancer have checked out of the human race and avoid them like the plague -- it's not catching, after all.  And people with cancer need all the human kindness and support they can get.  

If he had written to say he had pneumonia or influenza and wouldn't be coming, would you be wondering whether to write him?  Of course, write -- now more than ever he needs to know people care about him.


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## imp (Jan 8, 2016)

Butterfly said:


> Of course write to him.  Just because he has cancer does not make him less of a person.  Tell him you are sorry to hear it, etc. and that you wish him well and are thinking of him, or whatever you feel like writing.  Too often people act like people with cancer have checked out of the human race and avoid them like the plague -- it's not catching, after all.  And people with cancer need all the human kindness and support they can get.
> 
> If he had written to say he had pneumonia or influenza and wouldn't be coming, would you be wondering whether to write him?  Of course, write -- now more than ever he needs to know people care about him.



BF, my underlying thoughts were just as you suggest. I immediately penned a letter (he has no email) just a little while after reading his letter. You support my thoughts, and I'm glad I see I'm doing the accepted thing.   imp


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## oldman (Jan 9, 2016)




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