# Would you miss folks



## Denise1952 (Nov 4, 2014)

here on the forums, or maybe another place we spend time online.  I mean, I hear it often, "you can't have real friends online".  Well, I can honestly say that I have met a lot of people here that I would, and have, mourned the loss of their presence here  when they've either just left, or disappeared, and I never knew what happened to them.

I know we have a lot of new folks, but stick around, you may just get attached.  It's so neat because of all the personalities, all the different places people live, I'd have no chance of meeting so many people if it weren't for this place.  I see so many I want to be like, those, for example, that can give an opinion without attacking anyone personally.  They can discuss without getting defensive, or disrespectful.  I'm want to be like them

I know many people have a lot going on outside of the internet, jobs, family etc.  but they still manage to pop in and see what's new, and we get to hear what's new with them.  It's like everyone here fills a space and it's shaped just like them (no laughinglayful and if they are gone suddenly no one else can fill it because we are each unique.

Ok, so maybe I am too mushy this a.m., but I just want to start it off by saying "I would miss you" if you left.

Now I'm off to see what hell I can raise on the boards, :kissmy::woohoo1:


----------



## hollydolly (Nov 4, 2014)

OH I definitely miss people when they leave. You get to know much more about some people by chatting online than you might learn if they lived in your street and just passed the time of day.

I remember when you went awol for a short period Denise and everyone was looking for you, and thank goodness you returned, so yes I do agree that you can miss people that you've only chatted to online..

INcidentally..it's coming up to 7pm here..just thought you'd like to know..


----------



## Ameriscot (Nov 4, 2014)

You certainly *can* have real friends online.  I have many.  I was on an American expat forum for about 5 years and many of us became great friends. Many I met in person, many I didn't.  I'm still friends with several of them and we are on FB together.  So I have a few friends I've never met in person but have been friends with for up to 12 years.  

I was on a baby boomer forum from 2006 - 2011(?) and many of us found each other and are friends on Facebook.  I've met a few in person.  

I haven't been on this forum long but I enjoy this forum and will stick around, so I'm sure I'll feel I'm friends with several of you.


----------



## Denise1952 (Nov 4, 2014)

hollydolly said:


> OH I definitely miss people when they leave. You get to know much more about some people by chatting online than you might learn if they lived in your street and just passed the time of day.
> 
> I remember when you went awol for a short period Denise and everyone was looking for you, and thank goodness you returned, so yes I do agree that you can miss people that you've only chatted to online..
> 
> INcidentally..it's coming up to 7pm here..just thought you'd like to know..



LOL, yes HollyDolly, I love thinking about the timezones, it's fascinating, and the great part is this is a 24/7 opportunity to have someone to talk to  I believe that to be true also, actually knowing more about people online, that might take years offline.  I mean I know it's easier to put on paper/type in something I think, or feel, then it is to say it outright  Denise



Ameriscot said:


> You certainly *can* have real friends online.  I have many.  I was on an American expat forum for about 5 years and many of us became great friends. Many I met in person, many I didn't.  I'm still friends with several of them and we are on FB together.  So I have a few friends I've never met in person but have been friends with for up to 12 years.
> 
> I was on a baby boomer forum from 2006 - 2011(?) and many of us found each other and are friends on Facebook.  I've met a few in person.
> 
> I haven't been on this forum long but I enjoy this forum and will stick around, so I'm sure I'll feel I'm friends with several of you.



Oh you are part of already from where I'm sitting,  I agree, we get attached.  Soooooooooo glad you are here denise


----------



## Pappy (Nov 4, 2014)

I've been on the forum for quite some time and have made many friends and maybe an enemy or two. I consider you all my friends and would surely miss you if something happened to any of you.

There use to be a daily poster from California called That Guy and he suddenly stopped posting. No one seems to know what happened to him. I do hope he is okay.


----------



## Ameriscot (Nov 4, 2014)

nwlady said:


> LOL, yes HollyDolly, I love thinking about the timezones, it's fascinating, and the great part is this is a 24/7 opportunity to have someone to talk to  I believe that to be true also, actually knowing more about people online, that might take years offline.  I mean I know it's easier to put on paper/type in something I think, or feel, then it is to say it outright  Denise
> 
> 
> 
> Oh you are part of already from where I'm sitting,  I agree, we get attached.  Soooooooooo glad you are here denise



Thanks, Denise!  A very nice group here.


----------



## Denise1952 (Nov 4, 2014)

He is one I never stop hoping will show up again one day.  People deserve their privacy, but I hope they will know that we care and think about them if they leave.


----------



## Meanderer (Nov 4, 2014)

Yeah, this forum is a living, growing organism, that is always changing.  I have noticed that Michael has not posted for some time, and have PM'd him but have not had a reply.  I hope he is OK.  I am grateful for the friends I have made here.  I miss That Guy also.  And, as Verteran's Day rolls around once more, I think of KCVET and wonder how he is doing.


----------



## Denise1952 (Nov 4, 2014)

I remember hearing someone say they thought you were him under another username, but he was "that guy" I can't see him coming back as someone else, LOL!  See, he will "maybe" never know how big a "gap" he left here.  I think he's afraid to show up again because he knows I'll really give him a hard time, LOL!  But in a loving way, LOL!!


----------



## Meanderer (Nov 4, 2014)

nwlady said:


> I remember hearing someone say they thought you were him under another username, but he was "that guy" I can't see him coming back as someone else, LOL!  See, he will "maybe" never know how big a "gap" he left here.  I think he's afraid to show up again because he knows I'll really give him a hard time, LOL!  But in a loving way, LOL!!


Hey Denise...it's what you do!


----------



## Pappy (Nov 4, 2014)

I know he loved to surf. Hope that harm him in any way.


----------



## Meanderer (Nov 4, 2014)

Here's to you, That Guy!


----------



## Denise1952 (Nov 4, 2014)

I still see his photos up above ya know I'm sure you do too Pappy  Well, if he went to "big waves in the sky" I know he'll truly be in heaven


----------



## Denise1952 (Nov 4, 2014)

Just a little addition, hope you don't mind Jim


----------



## Falcon (Nov 4, 2014)

I consider all our members like a family......love, like, tolerate.


----------



## Denise1952 (Nov 4, 2014)

That's an excellent way to look at it Falcon


----------



## Sunny (Nov 4, 2014)

A close friend on another forum died a few months ago. I never met her in person, but I miss her terribly!  In a strange way, I considered her one of my best friends. You don't have to meet in person to be very close to a person; our minds meet on these boards, and that's what counts.


----------



## Denise1952 (Nov 4, 2014)

Sunny said:


> A close friend on another forum died a few months ago. I never met her in person, but I miss her terribly!  In a strange way, I considered her one of my best friends. You don't have to meet in person to be very close to a person; our minds meet on these boards, and that's what counts.



You're so right Sunny, and I am sorry for your loss.  Thanks for sharing that, denise


----------



## JustBonee (Nov 4, 2014)

Sunny said:


> A close friend on another forum died a few months ago. I never met her in person, but I miss her terribly!  In a strange way, I considered her one of my best friends. You don't have to meet in person to be very close to a person; our minds meet on these boards, and that's what counts.



I understand that Sunny.  ..  personalities come through,  so strong,  with random comments on a message board.

I especially miss all the people, gone now,  who were here over a year and a half ago when I joined.  .. I was very vulnerable at the time, and  enjoyed all the lighthearted conversation they brought to the board. 
 Too many people come and go too quickly,  for whatever reasons.

... there's some great people on here now ... hope everyone sticks around!!:2cents:


----------



## SeaBreeze (Nov 4, 2014)

Pappy said:


> There use to be a daily poster from California called That Guy and he suddenly stopped posting. No one seems to know what happened to him. I do hope he is okay.



I'm like you Pappy, I think of you and other folks here as friends, and would definitely miss someone if anything happened to them.  That Guy goes way back with us here, and I miss him terribly.  I've tried to contact him via PM and email, with no response.  Since he always spoke of being depressed around Memorial Day, as being a Vietnam veteran, he lost many friends there, then stopped posting shortly after that holiday, I don't have a good feeling.  Many here love and miss him like family. :sentimental:  To you That Guy, we'll never forget you. :love_heart:









​


----------



## SeaBreeze (Nov 4, 2014)

Sunny said:


> A close friend on another forum died a few months ago. I never met her in person, but I miss her terribly!  In a strange way, I considered her one of my best friends. You don't have to meet in person to be very close to a person; our minds meet on these boards, and that's what counts.



I'm sorry for your loss Sunny, and I completely agree with you about our minds meeting on these forums, and we can become very close with someone.


----------



## AprilT (Nov 4, 2014)

Yes, even though, I haven't been around very long, there are people, who I would miss their presence if they stopped posting here.  There are for sure people here that add something to my day, make me smile just by reading some of their postings and those even some that have gone above and beyond what I expect and they are greatly appreciated.


----------



## pchrise (Nov 4, 2014)

AprilT said:


> Yes, even though, I haven't been around very long, there are people, who I would miss their presence if they stopped posting here.  There are for sure people here that add something to my day, make me smile just by reading some of their postings and those even some that have gone above and beyond what I expect and they are greatly appreciated.


 * I agree with April**1 and some of us will be away for procedures*, *once you care you can never stop*.


----------



## Meanderer (Nov 4, 2014)

This forum is a good place to spill the beans...about our selves...one-bean-at-a-time.  We probably share things about ourselves and our unspoken feelings here, that we would hesitate talk about with people in our real world. I think our real selves leak out, more than we realize. 

View attachment 10857


----------



## GeorgiaXplant (Nov 4, 2014)

Gee, I thought I was the only one who felt connected to so many of my cyberpals and really thought there was something wrong with me! Guess not (whew!). For some of us...like me, for instance, the internet is just about the only way to feel like we're part of the rest of the world. I know there are members whose names I see on a post that I didn't think would interest me so I open it just to see what they have to say. After all, if it interests them, surely it will interest me, too!

Anyway, kids, thanks for being here. It's the first place I check in the morning, the first place I check after work, the last place I check before shutting down in the evening.


----------



## SifuPhil (Nov 4, 2014)

Meanderer said:


> ... I think our real selves leak out, more than we realize.



There ARE medications for that, you know ...

I've been on several forums over the years where I felt that we were all family, that we shared common bonds and divulged our inner secrets to each other, and that we would miss anyone who disappeared for a time.

Forums such as:



FurriesUnite.com
EricEstradaFanClub.com
MudLuvvers.net
FindTheGreenM&M.org

Those were _such_ wonderful days on those forums! Telling stories, laughing and crying together, meeting behind dumpsters in dark Chinese restaurant parking lots ... 

*sigh*


----------



## Denise1952 (Nov 4, 2014)

AprilT said:


> Yes, even though, I haven't been around very long, there are people, who I would miss their presence if they stopped posting here.  There are for sure people here that add something to my day, make me smile just by reading some of their postings and those even some that have gone above and beyond what I expect and they are greatly appreciated.



Well said April, I feel the same way about folks here  I tend to isolate at times, and stay away, but when I come back, I realize how much a truly miss people here


----------



## Debby (Nov 4, 2014)

It's really nice to see how close all the folks here have gotten even if you've never met each other.  The world needs nice folks like all of you that's for sure!


----------



## Denise1952 (Nov 4, 2014)

OMG Phil,

You are such a hoot, I would miss your horribly if you ever left.  I know we all gotta go sometime, so guess we'll just make the best of times while we have it

I guess you know I'm leaving now to check out those forums :lofl::wave:


----------



## Denise1952 (Nov 4, 2014)

Debby said:


> It's really nice to see how close all the folks here have gotten even if you've never met each other.  The world needs nice folks like all of you that's for sure!



and you are included in that "all of you" Debby, so glad you are here


----------



## SifuPhil (Nov 4, 2014)

nwlady said:


> OMG Phil,
> 
> You are such a hoot, I would miss your horribly if you ever left.  I know we all gotta go sometime, so guess we'll just make the best of times while we have it



That's all we really can do - one moment at a time, live in the present, because the future isn't written. 


... it IS available on DVD, but I haven't picked it up yet.


----------



## RadishRose (Nov 4, 2014)

This is such a nice thread; heartwarming. I too, enjoy everyone here. Nice topic, Denise!


----------



## Debby (Nov 4, 2014)

nwlady said:


> and you are included in that "all of you" Debby, so glad you are here




Awww shucks......:tickled_pink:


----------



## Denise1952 (Nov 4, 2014)

Debby said:


> Awww shucks......:tickled_pink:



Well you are



RadishRose said:


> This is such a nice thread; heartwarming. I too, enjoy everyone here. Nice topic, Denise!



Yeah, good to know people really care about others here



SifuPhil said:


> That's all we really can do - one moment at a time, live in the present, because the future isn't written.
> 
> 
> ... it IS available on DVD, but I haven't picked it up yet.
> ...



Is this real, I'm headed for imdb to find out, LOL!!  It sure wouldn't surprise me, 'course I guess we do have a lot of movies that like to show us their take on what the future holds


----------



## Ina (Nov 4, 2014)

I can actualy credit this forum with saving my life, and saving my sanity.  There are people in this forum that literally pulled me from my grief. 
I too miss the some old friends, and I think there needs to be a list with a family member or a good friend that we can call to see if they are alright. If something bad happens to our freinds they will not be able to answer their own emails, and maybe even their phones. :tapfoot:


----------



## Justme (Nov 5, 2014)

When I have removed myself from a forum I can honestly say I haven't missed any of the posters. I don't regard forums anymore than I would regard a game, which I indulge in when I have a few minutes to spare during the day.


----------



## Ralphy1 (Nov 5, 2014)

Justme, I still love you though you are so dismissive...


----------



## Justme (Nov 5, 2014)

Ralphy1 said:


> Justme, I still love you though you are so dismissive...



I would save your 'love' for someone else I don't need it!


----------



## Ralphy1 (Nov 5, 2014)

There you go again...  (Who said that before?)


----------



## Justme (Nov 5, 2014)

Ralphy1 said:


> There you go again...  (Who said that before?)


 ????


----------



## Ralphy1 (Nov 5, 2014)

As I recall it was Ronald Reagan in a presidential debate.  Remember him?


----------



## ronaldj (Nov 5, 2014)

I am new here and just learning my way around....on other boards had on line friends and than the boards dwindled away and so did the friends...same with facebook, I guess people just need change every so often.....but I find that true in many of the blogs I read they fall by the way side .....can you have on line friends...they are like imaginary friends only they talk back...


----------



## Justme (Nov 5, 2014)

Ralphy1 said:


> As I recall it was Ronald Reagan in a presidential debate.  Remember him?



Well of course I remember him, he was senile and Nancy made all the decisions, didn't she?


----------



## JustBonee (Nov 5, 2014)

ronaldj said:


> I am new here and just learning my way around....on other boards had on line friends and than the boards dwindled away and so did the friends...same with facebook, I guess people just need change every so often.....but I find that true in many of the blogs I read they fall by the way side .....*can you have on line friends...they are like imaginary friends only they talk back.*..



I love that!... .. can I steal that from you?


----------



## Ralphy1 (Nov 5, 2014)

Yes!  Nancy made all of the decisions after talking to her astrologer...


----------



## Ameriscot (Nov 5, 2014)

:bighug:*Group  hug!  *


----------



## Meanderer (Nov 5, 2014)




----------



## Ameriscot (Nov 5, 2014)

Sunny said:


> A close friend on another forum died a few months ago. I never met her in person, but I miss her terribly!  In a strange way, I considered her one of my best friends. You don't have to meet in person to be very close to a person; our minds meet on these boards, and that's what counts.



So sorry, Sunny.  

I lost an online friend on Facebook that I had been in some groups with on Eons, a boomer forum.  She died a couple of months ago waiting for a kidney transplant.  Her husband posted on her page to let all her friends know.


----------



## Justme (Nov 5, 2014)

Ameriscot said:


> :bighug:*Group  hug!  *



I don't do hugs!


----------



## Ameriscot (Nov 5, 2014)

Justme said:


> I don't do hugs!



Hugs are good for your health!


----------



## Meanderer (Nov 5, 2014)

Ameriscot said:


> Hugs are good for your health!


----------



## Ameriscot (Nov 5, 2014)

Meanderer said:


>



Good one!  I'm a very huggy person.


----------



## Pappy (Nov 5, 2014)

Here in Florida, everyone hugs. Even steal a kiss now and then.


----------



## Justme (Nov 5, 2014)

Ameriscot said:


> Hugs are good for your health!



Not mine, I dislike having my personal space invaded by adults, I hug my grandchildren though!


----------



## Ameriscot (Nov 5, 2014)

Justme said:


> Not mine, I dislike having my personal space invaded by adults, I hug my grandchildren though!



Grandchildren are very huggable!


----------



## Justme (Nov 5, 2014)

Ameriscot said:


> Grandchildren are very huggable!



One of my grandsons (11) hates being hugged or kissed, so I make a point of it to wind him up!


----------



## Meanderer (Nov 5, 2014)

Justme said:


> One of my grandsons (11) hates being hugged or kissed, so I make a point of it to wind him up!


Perfectly natural at that age.   He probably dislikes having his personal space invaded by adults.


----------



## oakapple (Nov 5, 2014)

I think you can miss people online, but perhaps not quite so much as if you knew them in 'real life'.Of course, the irony is that you may like them on a forum but NOT like them if you met them in 'real life'.I think this is a very friendly forum though, with lots of interesting people from all walks of life, and being from different countries[divided by a common language!] makes it even more interesting.Long may it continue.:love_heart:


----------



## Justme (Nov 5, 2014)

Meanderer said:


> Perfectly natural at that age.   He probably dislikes having his personal space invaded by adults.



Yes he does, I don't blame him! I stopped hugging and kissing my parents when I was 12 as I found it yucky and embarrassing.


----------



## Justme (Nov 5, 2014)

oakapple said:


> I think you can miss people online, but perhaps not quite so much as if you knew them in 'real life'.Of course, the irony is that you may like them on a forum but NOT like them if you met them in 'real life'.I think this is a very friendly forum though, with lots of interesting people from all walks of life, and being from different countries[divided by a common language!] makes it even more interesting.Long may it continue.:love_heart:



Back in the days when I made 'friends' on-line, a BIG mistake, I met several of them in real life. With one exception, they were nothing like they appeared to be on the NET and were certainly not the sort of people I would ever have anything to do with in reality.


----------



## Ameriscot (Nov 5, 2014)

Justme said:


> Back in the days when I made 'friends' on-line, a BIG mistake, I met several of them in real life. With one exception, they were nothing like they appeared to be on the NET and were certainly not the sort of people I would ever have anything to do with in reality.



I've probably met a dozen online friends.  Was only disappointed in one.  And I met my husband online.  No disappointment there.


----------



## QuickSilver (Nov 5, 2014)

I haven't been here that long... so no..  However, I have been on forums where folks have become friends and even on my FB page.. I've got 3 or 4 of those.


----------



## Lyn (Nov 5, 2014)

[COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8)]I have found people met while Online impact my life pretty much the same as those I meet IRL.  I find myself for the most part unable to differentiate between them in my emotions.   I remember them just as fondly or exasperatedly as those that I actually cross physical paths with.  The effect of Eons disappearing was one of loss and sadness, very much like the end of high school but without the day of graduation to say good bye.  I first came upon The Seniors Forum in I believe April 2013.  I joined but because of other pressing matters I have been off line for some time.  Even though the time spent here was very short, now that I have retired and most of my stormy waves have settled and I have some "just me" time, I remembered  The Seniors Forum.  I recalled with ease  my enjoyment  in reading posts,  experiencing that 'gee, I had not thought of it like that',  of sharing in games and music, and the absolute absence of  venom amongst the people here. The time frame  I  interacted was very limited  but the impact on my memory was fairly significant.  So I would say online/IRL not so very different in the effects one's emotions and/or memories, at least that is what I have experienced.[/COLOR]

[COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8)]I was very happy to see this thread as I have been following along on the forum for a few weeks now but did not have the nerve to just pop back on after such a long absence.  This thread  helped to give me that nerve to add my 2 cents.  Maybe it is just my introverted nature, but I do miss people I have met online and think of them much the the same as those I miss IRL.  I do think  this cyber way of interacting with others does have impact, does create memories,  imparts feelings of joy, sadness, and is as real as sharing moments with someone in a grocery line or while sitting across  from someone at a table sharing the day over a cup of coffee and sometimes is very much more comfortable than IRL.  Wishing all a great day![/COLOR]


----------



## Ameriscot (Nov 5, 2014)

Lyn said:


> [COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8)]I have found people met while Online impact my life pretty much the same as those I meet IRL.  I find myself for the most part unable to differentiate between them in my emotions.   I remember them just as fondly or exasperatedly as those that I actually cross physical paths with.  The effect of Eons disappearing was one of loss and sadness, very much like the end of high school but without the day of graduation to say good bye.  I first came upon The Seniors Forum in I believe April 2013.  I joined but because of other pressing matters I have been off line for some time.  Even though the time spent here was very short, now that I have retired and most of my stormy waves have settled and I have some "just me" time, I remembered  The Seniors Forum.  I recalled with ease  my enjoyment  in reading posts,  experiencing that 'gee, I had not thought of it like that',  of sharing in games and music, and the absolute absence of  venom amongst the people here. The time frame  I  interacted was very limited  but the impact on my memory was fairly significant.  So I would say online/IRL not so very different in the effects one's emotions and/or memories, at least that is what I have experienced.[/COLOR]
> 
> [COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8)]I was very happy to see this thread as I have been following along on the forum for a few weeks now but did not have the nerve to just pop back on after such a long absence.  This thread  helped to give me that nerve to add my 2 cents.  Maybe it is just my introverted nature, but I do miss people I have met online and think of them much the the same as those I miss IRL.  I do think  this cyber way of interacting with others does have impact, does create memories,  imparts feelings of joy, sadness, and is as real as sharing moments with someone in a grocery line or while sitting across  from someone at a table sharing the day over a cup of coffee and sometimes is very much more comfortable than IRL.  Wishing all a great day![/COLOR]




Lyn, I was on Eons as well.  I've found quite a few of them on Facebook as we had set up a FB group when things were getting wobbly on Eons.  However, there are several I've never found and would love to.  But I don't know their real names.


----------



## SeaBreeze (Nov 5, 2014)

Ameriscot said:


> :bighug:*Group  hug!  *



It'd be great to have a group hug with all the nice folks here Ameriscot! :love_heart:

​


----------



## Ameriscot (Nov 5, 2014)

SeaBreeze said:


> It'd be great to have a group hug with all the nice folks here Ameriscot! :love_heart:
> 
> View attachment 10868​




Awww....


----------



## Meanderer (Nov 5, 2014)

Lyn said:


> [COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8)]I have found people met while Online impact my life pretty much the same as those I meet IRL.  I find myself for the most part unable to differentiate between them in my emotions.   I remember them just as fondly or exasperatedly as those that I actually cross physical paths with.  The effect of Eons disappearing was one of loss and sadness, very much like the end of high school but without the day of graduation to say good bye.  I first came upon The Seniors Forum in I believe April 2013.  I joined but because of other pressing matters I have been off line for some time.  Even though the time spent here was very short, now that I have retired and most of my stormy waves have settled and I have some "just me" time, I remembered  The Seniors Forum.  I recalled with ease  my enjoyment  in reading posts,  experiencing that 'gee, I had not thought of it like that',  of sharing in games and music, and the absolute absence of  venom amongst the people here. The time frame  I  interacted was very limited  but the impact on my memory was fairly significant.  So I would say online/IRL not so very different in the effects one's emotions and/or memories, at least that is what I have experienced.[/COLOR]
> 
> [COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8)]I was very happy to see this thread as I have been following along on the forum for a few weeks now but did not have the nerve to just pop back on after such a long absence.  This thread  helped to give me that nerve to add my 2 cents.  Maybe it is just my introverted nature, but I do miss people I have met online and think of them much the the same as those I miss IRL.  I do think  this cyber way of interacting with others does have impact, does create memories,  imparts feelings of joy, sadness, and is as real as sharing moments with someone in a grocery line or while sitting across  from someone at a table sharing the day over a cup of coffee and sometimes is very much more comfortable than IRL.  Wishing all a great day![/COLOR]


Welcome back Lyn!


----------



## Denise1952 (Nov 5, 2014)

Wow, so much excellent input.  I know everyone has their own feelings about online socializing, I'm just really grateful for it, but that's only because of the folks I've met.  The longer I stay, and communicate with people, the better I know them.  I admire folks who get together more in person because I am a bit gun-shy of that.  I am alone, no children, no hubby, and like others I've been hurt.  But I know I did some hurting too in my life, and everyone else has been hurt or disappointed.

I am learning not to put expectations on people, I mean like expect others to make my life better, or solve my problems.  I guess I'm saying the best thing I've learned in my life (but don't always practice it) is to "give" friendship, love, and not be expecting anything in return.

Anyway, I must have some sort of "fear of loss" too because I didn't want to be involved with people because I know they may not always be around.  But that just tells me to enjoy them while they are here, or there, or everywhere


----------



## SeaBreeze (Nov 5, 2014)

Lyn said:


> [COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8)]I have found people met while Online impact my life pretty much the same as those I meet IRL.  I find myself for the most part unable to differentiate between them in my emotions.   I remember them just as fondly or exasperatedly as those that I actually cross physical paths with.  The effect of Eons disappearing was one of loss and sadness, very much like the end of high school but without the day of graduation to say good bye.  I first came upon The Seniors Forum in I believe April 2013.  I joined but because of other pressing matters I have been off line for some time.  Even though the time spent here was very short, now that I have retired and most of my stormy waves have settled and I have some "just me" time, I remembered  The Seniors Forum.  I recalled with ease  my enjoyment  in reading posts,  experiencing that 'gee, I had not thought of it like that',  of sharing in games and music, and the absolute absence of  venom amongst the people here. The time frame  I  interacted was very limited  but the impact on my memory was fairly significant.  So I would say online/IRL not so very different in the effects one's emotions and/or memories, at least that is what I have experienced.[/COLOR]
> 
> [COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8)]I was very happy to see this thread as I have been following along on the forum for a few weeks now but did not have the nerve to just pop back on after such a long absence.  This thread  helped to give me that nerve to add my 2 cents.  Maybe it is just my introverted nature, but I do miss people I have met online and think of them much the the same as those I miss IRL.  I do think  this cyber way of interacting with others does have impact, does create memories,  imparts feelings of joy, sadness, and is as real as sharing moments with someone in a grocery line or while sitting across  from someone at a table sharing the day over a cup of coffee and sometimes is very much more comfortable than IRL.  Wishing all a great day![/COLOR]



Hi Lyn, been missing you and so good to see you posting again.  Glad things in your life have settled a bit too. :love_heart:


----------



## AprilT (Nov 5, 2014)

Didn't take long to turn a positive into a negative.  Sigh.  I am just glad to have a place to come to, ever so often, chat with people, somewhat, near my own age and yes, some of those people's postings I look forward to seeing quite a bit as well as other's I well  :aargh:  As far as developing friendships with people via the net, they are what people make of them, some fleetingly  and superficial, some become something beyond cyber playful I'm your friend as long as we're signed in.  I've had some of both; easy to distinguish them from each other in a short time.  I've seen some really great things happen for some groups of people and I've seen the air kissing type of cliquey friendships happen more often than the real, but I focus on what's happening with me and people I come to enjoy interacting with, so, to those people, I would miss seeing their postings.


----------



## Justme (Nov 5, 2014)

I post in answer to another post, much of the time I don't even notice who posted it, as it doesn't really interest me.


----------



## Meanderer (Nov 5, 2014)

The largest group hug consisted of 10,554 people in an event organized by Bear Hug III (Canada) at the Rideau Canal in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada on 7 May 2010.
http://www.waymarking.com/waymarks/WMDA28_Largest_Bear_Hug_Ottawa_Ontario


----------



## Denise1952 (Nov 5, 2014)

OMG, I never heard of people doing that, so cool!! Thanks Jim


----------



## Meanderer (Nov 5, 2014)

AprilT said:


> Didn't take long to turn a positive into a negative.  Sigh.



When I was younger and started taking pictures, I got a roll of film for slides by mistake in my camera.  I learned later, that to have a print made, they had to use the slide (positive) to make a negative, and then make a print from the negative.  So, be of good cheer April...we can always turn a negative into a positive.


----------



## Falcon (Nov 5, 2014)

I miss some but my aim is getting better.


----------



## Denise1952 (Nov 5, 2014)

LOLLLLLLLL, John, you nut!!


----------



## SeaBreeze (Nov 5, 2014)

Justme said:


> I don't do hugs!



Come on Justme, you know deep down you're just a big softee!  I didn't want to do this, but I have to use 'tough love'.   :girl_hug:     :yes:


----------



## SifuPhil (Nov 5, 2014)

nwlady said:


> Anyway, I must have some sort of "fear of loss" too because I didn't want to be involved with people because I know they may not always be around.  But that just tells me to enjoy them while they are here, or there, or everywhere



To fear separation is to fear change; to fear change is to go against the Tao.

Like you said, enjoy them while they're here.


----------



## Meanderer (Nov 5, 2014)

I think it was Mickey Mouse who played Bob Cratchet in the Disney version of "The Christmas Carol",who said following Tiny Tim's departure...."Life is full of greetings and partings".....or it may have been Goofy!


----------



## AprilT (Nov 5, 2014)

nwlady said:


> Wow, so much excellent input.  I know everyone has their own feelings about online socializing, I'm just really grateful for it, but that's only because of the folks I've met.  The longer I stay, and communicate with people, the better I know them.  I admire folks who get together more in person because I am a bit gun-shy of that.  I am alone, no children, no hubby, and like others I've been hurt.  But I know I did some hurting too in my life, and everyone else has been hurt or disappointed.
> 
> I am learning not to put expectations on people, I mean like expect others to make my life better, or solve my problems.  I guess I'm saying the best thing I've learned in my life (but don't always practice it) is to "give" friendship, love, and not be expecting anything in return.
> 
> Anyway, I must have some sort of "fear of loss" too because I didn't want to be involved with people because I know they may not always be around.  But that just tells me to enjoy them while they are here, or there, or everywhere



What a great post, I very much relate to your circumstances and much of what you've said.  I don't place expectations either; I let things flow, I'll take a chance, but, I'm guarded to a point as I've lost a lot as well and just have to be ready to let go of anyone or anything without too much fuss, it may scar, but, the pain is short.  I've never lost my need to be connected to others, within limits of course.  And I know all the mumbo jumbo as to why this isn't good to do, but it kind of has worked for me more often than not or maybe less often than not.  I dont care, I'm getting too old to worry about it.ld:  However Denise you, have been a breath of fresh air and caused me to take pause.  I'll probably keep the shield for a while longer though.


----------



## Justme (Nov 6, 2014)

SeaBreeze said:


> Come on Justme, you know deep down you're just a big softee!  I didn't want to do this, but I have to use 'tough love'.   :girl_hug:     :yes:
> 
> 
> View attachment 10887



Well it must be very deep down then!


----------



## Ameriscot (Nov 6, 2014)

Justme said:


> Well it must be very deep down then!



Or....we could force you to go to France where everyone kisses both cheeks on greeting you - 2 or 3 times depending on the region.


----------



## Justme (Nov 6, 2014)

Ameriscot said:


> Or....we could force you to go to France where everyone kisses both cheeks on greeting you - 2 or 3 times depending on the region.



I ducked when in France, as I refuse to be kissed by any adult!


----------



## Ralphy1 (Nov 6, 2014)

But some of us are just children at heart...


----------



## Denise1952 (Nov 6, 2014)

SifuPhil said:


> To fear separation is to fear change; to fear change is to go against the Tao.
> 
> Like you said, enjoy them while they're here.



Some change I love, that's why I was such a gypsy most of my life but I know what you are saying.  I'm really not sure if I truly fear "loss of" people in my life, or, fear being hurt by.  I suppose it can be both because I know there are wonderful people in the world, but we are all human, and at some point, we are going to let someone down, even if it's to die.  I've heard it said "why did they leave me" when a person close to them dies.  There's an anger, or can be.

I just know that separating myself too much from folks, brings on a horrible lonliness.  I need friends, and I learned to have a friend I need to be a friend.  That's a risk, because I have to remember not to "expect" from them.  I know that pushes people away when we try to "get" our happiness from them.  Anyway, it's something I have looked at, and even studied over the years.  I still can't figure me out, lol! or anyone else  Just accept people and variety "is" the spice of lifelayful:


----------



## Ameriscot (Nov 6, 2014)

nwlady said:


> Some change I love, that's why I was such a gypsy most of my life but I know what you are saying.  I'm really not sure if I truly fear "loss of" people in my life, or, fear being hurt by.  I suppose it can be both because I know there are wonderful people in the world, but we are all human, and at some point, we are going to let someone down, even if it's to die.  I've heard it said "why did they leave me" when a person close to them dies.  There's an anger, or can be.
> 
> I just know that separating myself too much from folks, brings on a horrible lonliness.  I need friends, and I learned to have a friend I need to be a friend.  That's a risk, because I have to remember not to "expect" from them.  I know that pushes people away when we try to "get" our happiness from them.  Anyway, it's something I have looked at, and even studied over the years.  I still can't figure me out, lol! or anyone else  Just accept people and variety "is" the spice of lifelayful:



I do understand what you're saying.  We all need people but we also fear rejection.


----------



## Denise1952 (Nov 6, 2014)

Yeah, kind of a rock and a hardspot.  We could do a whole, psychological discussion on this one hey


----------



## nan (Nov 6, 2014)

I do miss friends on here, but at the moment with so much going on with dear daughter in law and other family members, it is a bit hard to put my mind to things, but i do think about you all.


----------



## SeaBreeze (Nov 6, 2014)

Sorry to hear that Nan, hope things aren't too bad with your daughter in law...hugs.


----------



## Denise1952 (Nov 6, 2014)

That's ok, lots will still be here, that's what I like about it when I do take a time out, chosen or not, people I know are still here holding down the fort


----------



## Ralphy1 (Nov 7, 2014)

As Barbara sings it, "People, people who need people, are the luckiest people in the world...."


----------



## Justme (Nov 7, 2014)

Ralphy1 said:


> As Barbara sings it, "People, people who need people, are the luckiest people in the world...."



Why?


----------



## Ameriscot (Nov 7, 2014)

Justme said:


> Why?



Not very fond of people, are you?  That's a shame.


----------



## Ameriscot (Nov 7, 2014)

I joined a free online diet forum 3 years ago when I got motivated to get fitter and healthier and a healthy weight before I turned 60.  It was such a supportive and friendly group that after a while I considered some of them my friends as well.  I don't belong to the group anymore but am friends with a few of them on Facebook.  One of them made a comment about sending her postcards when I traveled since she couldn't afford to go anywhere, so I got her address and have sent her 2 or 3 postcards.  She lives in Florida.  And she's my friend.


----------



## AprilT (Nov 28, 2014)

Justme said:


> Back in the days when I made 'friends' on-line, a BIG mistake, I met several of them in real life. With one exception, they were nothing like they appeared to be on the NET and were certainly not the sort of people I would ever have anything to do with in reality.



I should have heeded your warning, at least in taking some at first glance in thinking good souls are abound.  You were wiser than I gave credit, many are only as friendly as you are their mirror in thought and in many other ways that have come to light.


----------



## QuickSilver (Nov 28, 2014)

I had a bad experience with befriending an online forum person in real life.  I shared information regarding family in the forum..  Someone who was very supportive and friendly on the forum wanted to be FB friends.   I accepted and she proceeded to tell my family everything discussed on the forum.  Very bad experience and it almost tore apart my family.....  so I learned two things

1.  NEVER share sensitive personal information

2.  NEVER extend online friendships to real life..

Lesson learned at a high price.


----------



## jujube (Nov 28, 2014)

I've made some fantastic friends from forums.  I was on one several years ago that just sort of petered out, but I am still friends both on-line and in person with three of the people.  They lived all over the country and I have visited and been visited by all of them.   With a couple of exceptions, I'm sure I'd love to be friends with all of you guys.


----------



## AprilT (Nov 28, 2014)

jujube said:


> I've made some fantastic friends from forums.  I was on one several years ago that just sort of petered out, but I am still friends both on-line and in person with three of the people.  They lived all over the country and I have visited and been visited by all of them.   With a couple of exceptions, I'm sure I'd love to be friends with all of you guys.



Don't get me wrong, there are several people, I am very good friends with that I've met via forums and several from here that I still think are terrific, just many more that have greatly turned out to be not as I thought on earlier impressions.  I truly believed them to be quite nice and wise to boot.  Not a big deal, just momentarily felt stupid for caring too much and giving more credit than some deserved once again I always want to believe the best in people, as old as I am, seems it's a hard habit to break.


----------



## hollydolly (Nov 28, 2014)

AprilT said:


> Don't get me wrong, there are several people, I am very good friends with that I've met via forums and several from here that I still think are terrific, just many more that have greatly turned out to be not as I thought on earlier impressions.  I truly believed them to be quite nice and wise to boot.  Not a big deal, just momentarily felt stupid for caring too much and giving more credit than some deserved once again I always want to believe the best in people, as old as I am, seems it's a hard habit to break.



yes me too, I've made some really nice friends online over the years and been to forum meets where some of the people have been a lot different to how the ''appear' online, and not in a good way..I can't ever understand that.


----------



## Bullie76 (Nov 29, 2014)

I'm a hit and miss poster on most boards. So no, I probably wouldn't miss or notice that someone left unless it was mentioned by another member.  And I have never met anyone from a message board or any other way online. Just not for me.


----------



## pchrise (Nov 29, 2014)

Ameriscot said:


> Hugs are good for your health!



*Only bad for your health if all that hug are porcupines *


----------



## QuickSilver (Nov 29, 2014)

That's my problem.... I've hugged too many porkypines


----------



## pchrise (Nov 30, 2014)

QuickSilver said:


> That's my problem.... I've hugged too many porkypines


  So funny


----------



## AprilT (Nov 30, 2014)

QuickSilver said:


> That's my problem.... I've hugged too many porkypines




I resemble that remark.  Unfortunately, I keep doing it.


----------



## pchrise (Nov 30, 2014)

AprilT said:


> I resemble that remark.  Unfortunately, I keep doing it.


  Sorry a good removal system should help. Cute


----------



## AprilT (Nov 30, 2014)

Oh, I'm pretty good at removal once pricked.  LOL


----------

