# When you don't want to exchange phone numbers



## applecruncher (Mar 14, 2015)

Friends and I were recently discussing this situation............
You cross paths/run into someone who, for whatever reason(s), you have no desire to have future contact with.  You’re civil, but then the person asks your number or hands you their number.

What do you do?

I have had this happen.  I usually say “No, thanks.  Take care.  Bye”  Polite, but no expectations of a friendship or future contact.

Others tell me they go ahead and give the number, then avoid the call or make an excuse “I don’t have time to talk on the phone”. (imo this is kinda silly - give your number then dodge the calls.  ) One friend said he would give a fake number.  (I don’t like that idea because that fake number usually belongs to _someone_.  Just not fair to toss the problem to a stranger.)

I once had the former gf of my brother (I had never met her) thrust her number at me while I was walking to my car at the cemetery after that brother’s funeral/burial service.  She commanded “Call me.”  WHAT?!    That little piece of paper went into the trash bag in my car. 

I also think the "I'm soooo busy these days" excuse is lame.  We all make time to communicate with those we _want_ in our lives.

Why play those games?  I say if you don’t want to be contacted by someone, put on your big girl/boy pants and politely decline.

Thoughts?


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## AZ Jim (Mar 14, 2015)

Just take their number but never call it and if they ask for your number simply say "I only have a cell and only turn it on to make important calls, telemarketers ruined having a home phone!"


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## hollydolly (Mar 15, 2015)

I am asked for my number (cellphone) loads by people whom I don't wish to have it so I say of course you can have it in a cheery voice, and then accidentally on purpose leave one number out so instead of 1234567..my number becomes 1234569..yes the number may belong to someone else but they will only get one call asking for me  and as soon as the caller realises it's the wrong number they won't pester those people again..this only applies to individuals who want my number

if a company or marketing business want my number and I don't wish to give it, I just refuse , telling them instead that my number is an ex directory number (landline)...and therefore only available to immediate family.


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## pchrise (Mar 15, 2015)

Just give them the police humber or on line they want your number to proceed just any area code plus 555-1212 is for real number and gets you past that point.  Is a phone information number.  With the new phones you can also block numbers.


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## applecruncher (Mar 15, 2015)

Nah.  I'm a straight shooter. I have no problem saying "No". No excuses, explanations, or lies. I think a polite decline is better than stringing someone along.


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## QuickSilver (Mar 15, 2015)

I tell them to look me up on FB.. and then don't accept the friend request..


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## ndynt (Mar 15, 2015)

I truthfully tell them that I do not like to use a phone.  Do not answer it.  Use it only it when absolutely necessary.


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## NancyNGA (Mar 15, 2015)

ndynt said:


> I truthfully tell them that I do not like to use a phone.  Do not answer it.  Use it only it when absolutely necessary.



Me, too.


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## Cookie (Mar 15, 2015)

I find I don't need to give out my phone number any more, I could ask them for their email address and tell them I'll send them a message. 
Then I send a message or not. 

It's pretty rare that I run into someone I haven't seen in a long time that I don't want to hear from. If I don't want future contact with them, it's because something bad went down, so I have no problem of saying I'm very busy these days, maybe some other time and leave it at that.


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## hollydolly (Mar 15, 2015)

Cookie said:


> I find I don't need to give out my phone number any more, I could ask them for their email address and tell them I'll send them a message.
> Then I send a message or not.
> 
> It's pretty rare that I run into someone I haven't seen in a long time that I don't want to hear from. If I don't want future contact with them, it's because something bad went down, so I have no problem of saying I'm very busy these days, maybe some other time and leave it at that.




I'd do the same if it was only occasional acquaintances that ask me for my number but it's usually business acquaintances or work colleagues who are all perfectly aware I have a cell phone.., and tbh I used to give it out to any of them who asked and I'd find myself bombarded with texts and whatsapps all day and even in the night if they wanted answers to queries, I got throughly tired of the phone 'pinging' all the time with mundane questions.. so I changed my number and only gave it to family and a select few colleagues..hence when someone at work who I know  has a penchant for serial texting or calling asks for my number I give them the one digit wrong number..


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## Cookie (Mar 15, 2015)

I would find it tough too, to be constantly approached for my phone #.  I gather it would depend on where you work, if it's your own business, or if your cell phone is used for both business and personal use. But I'm with you, you gotta do what you gotta do.


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## DoItMyself (Mar 15, 2015)

applecruncher said:


> Nah.  I'm a straight shooter. I have no problem saying "No". No excuses, explanations, or lies. I think a polite decline is better than stringing someone along.



Agreed.  There's no need to make excuses (which anyone with half a brain can see right through).  Just be honest and say no thank you.


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## QuickSilver (Mar 16, 2015)

DoItMyself said:


> Agreed.  There's no need to make excuses (which anyone with half a brain can see right through).  Just be honest and say no thank you.




That's going under the assumption that some people have half a brain.   I've given up on that hypothesis.


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## hollydolly (Mar 16, 2015)

QuickSilver said:


> That's going under the assumption that some people have half a brain.   I've given up on that hypothesis.



From experience ..me too..


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## Butterfly (Mar 23, 2015)

I do telephones as little as possible, having been on them almost non-stop during my working life.


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## AZ Jim (Mar 23, 2015)

No one wants my phone number...................................................thankfully.


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## nonirose (May 27, 2015)

I'm not a phone talker and tell them it's for emergencies, work and my kids. I do give it to a few friends and they usually text me and we meet up in person. It's hard for me to be on a phone longer than five minutes. I'm a squirrel.


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## charlotta (Jun 3, 2015)

I guess I'm different.  I offer my number when someone new moves into my neighborhood. We are a small (26 houses) neighborhood and most are retirees.  If someone I know I will not like to be around, they usually don't ask for my number.  Not long ago a group of women from Auburn that I am really close friends with one of them, asked me to have lunch.  One of the group that I don't know too well, ask a Montgomery friend to come, as well.  Before her friend had arrived, she assured me we were going to like one another.  I agreed.  When friend arrived, she did nothing but complain during the whole lunch.  No problem, I just smiled and chose not to converse .


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## Falcon (Jun 3, 2015)

I may give out my cell # because it's always OFF and charging.  I only turn it on when I'm away from the house, IF anybody NEEDS me for something.

My land line is on all the time and I get a few spam calls once in awhile but usually let it go to voice mail. If it's someone I know, then I'll pick up.

I can tell spam calls because there's always a hesitation before they speak.


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## LynnD (Jun 3, 2015)

Falcon said:


> I may give out my cell # because it's always OFF and charging.  I only turn it on when I'm away from the house, IF anybody NEEDS me for something.
> 
> My land line is on all the time and I get a few spam calls once in awhile but usually let it go to voice mail. If it's someone I know, then I'll pick up.
> 
> I can tell spam calls because there's always a hesitation before they speak.



Ive noticed that too, wonder why that is?   I do pick up sometimes when I feel like messing with them.


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## applecruncher (Jun 3, 2015)

> I can tell spam calls because there's always a hesitation before they speak.



Another giveaway:  “Hello ma’am.  How are you today?”

I don’t have caller id or voice mail on my land line.  I keep the ringer turned off and only use it for outgoing calls if I want to keep my cell ph free/expecting a call.  I only keep the land line as a backup in case cell ph is lost/stolen or breaks.


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## Shalimar (Jun 5, 2015)

Lynn, you too? On occasion, when possessed by evil intent, I mess with spam callers. Usually I resort to may I tell you all about the wonderful world of Buddhism?? Lol.


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## Falcon (Jun 5, 2015)

When I'm really bored, I begin telling them about my many  (made up) ailments until they finally hang up.

Sometimes I listen to the whole thing because (sometimes) they give you the option of eliminating your # from their site.


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## Ken N Tx (Jun 6, 2015)

Shalimar said:


> Lynn, you too? On occasion, when possessed by evil intent, I mess with spam callers. Usually I resort to may I tell you all about the wonderful world of Buddhism?? Lol.





Falcon said:


> When I'm really bored, I begin telling them about my many  (made up) ailments until they finally hang up.
> 
> Sometimes I listen to the whole thing because (sometimes) they give you the option of eliminating your # from their site.



I tell them that I am really interested in their product but I am on my way out the door for an important meeting. If they would give me their* home phone number*, I will return their call later tonight..They usually hang up!!


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## LynnD (Jun 6, 2015)

That's a good one Ken, I haven't tried that one.   I just let them ramble on and when it comes to the end I make up a reason why whatever they're sailing would be impossible for me.

I like the one where they call and say they've checked online and my computer is infected with viruses and they can clean that up for me......I tell them I don't have a computer.   I do but haven't turned it on in years so maybe their right but it's a scam.


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## Warrigal (Jun 6, 2015)

I've had that computer call a few times .The first time when they told me my computer was infected I simply asked "Which one/" That stumped her for a couple of seconds then she answered "the big one". I laughed and hung up.


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## Kadee (Jun 6, 2015)

Dame Warrigal said:


> I've had that computer call a few times .The first time when they told me my computer was infected I simply asked "Which one/" That stumped her for a couple of seconds then she answered "the big one". I laughed and hung up.


Good one DW , We received calls from "Microsoft" almost weekly bout our computer being infected, then one day hubby played games with them for quite a while ,they eventually said DO YOU have a computer ? hubby said sorry NO ! My memory is not good ,didn't you say my Xbox ??was infected


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## mitchezz (Jun 7, 2015)

If anyone anywhere is becoming a nuisance I simply ask them if they have accepted Jesus into their life. Works really well with cabbies.

For phone pests I ask them to hang on and then after about 5 minutes I hang up.


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## Shalimar (Jun 7, 2015)

Mitchezz, HaHaHaHaHa.


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## Linda (Jul 7, 2015)

ndynt said:


> I truthfully tell them that I do not like to use a phone.  Do not answer it.  Use it only it when absolutely necessary.




That's exactly what I would do too.  I can't remember ever having this problem though.


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## hellomimi (May 11, 2020)

applecruncher said:


> Nah.  I'm a straight shooter. I have no problem saying "No". No excuses, explanations, or lies. I think a polite decline is better than stringing someone along.


Ditto.

I don't want playing games so I just keep it short and simple ~ No, I'm not interested.


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## Gardenlover (May 11, 2020)

Typically, I give them your number or the number to the bawdy house down the street.


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## MarciKS (May 11, 2020)

Just to be polite and not hurt a persons feeling I just take the number and say thanks talk to you later. And then just don't call. I don't care how I feel about someone. I don't think it's right to be openly rude with a person.


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## Marcella (May 27, 2020)

I say "I don't share my number because I don't hear well on cells". It's true.


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## In The Sticks (May 27, 2020)

I agree with your initial post.

Be honest and be polite; otherwise, you'll end up being deceitful and rude.
Having done both, the first is always the best choice...for both parties.


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## applecruncher (May 27, 2020)




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## Lewkat (May 27, 2020)

I tell most people that I have a private number and do not hand it out.


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## Ronni (May 28, 2020)

I have no problem giving out my number, or exchanging numbers.  I never answer calls that aren't in my contact list, so if I actually want to talk to that person, I'll add their name and number to my contacts so when they call, my phone will tell me who it is.  And if I don't want to hear from them, I just don't add the number.  They call, I don't answer, and because I don't know who it is,I just block the call so I don't see their call again.


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## JustBonee (May 28, 2020)

I had someone  who I see occasionally  on my daily walks come up to me a couple years ago and say  "we need to exchange phone numbers".  ..  
Walking at a brisk pace,  I said 'oh, sure' nicely,   and kept walking. ...    I didn't want to exchange numbers  with her.  

So then another time I saw her after that,   she said "oh, you have my phone number, call me"   .... 
I guess she missed the part where we never exchanged numbers ...lol


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