# Where did you eat holiday dinners- with his, or her family?



## fuzzybuddy (Jul 3, 2022)

My mom had 5 sisters. They all got married. For Thanksgiving, the families all met at my grandmothers, and when she passed, the daughters took turns in having the dinners. Gradually the daughters began hosting the dinners  just for their own families. I don't know how we got talking about this- there was no Thanksgiving dinners at the homes of the husbands' mothers' homes. .Where did you eat holiday dinners- with his, or her family? With your dad's or mom's family?


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## oldman (Jul 3, 2022)

We host Thanksgiving, New Year’s Day, Easter Sunday and Labor Day. My son does Christmas and July 4th. 
On Labor Day, we have it catered onsite because we invite about 40 people between relatives, friends and neighbors. Last year, we had 44 people and 7 kids. My wife said we went through 30 steaks or at least we were charged for 30 steaks. We are friends with the caterers, so we trust them.


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## Buckeye (Jul 3, 2022)

Just the two of us plus the fur baby.  Closest relative is 1,000 miles away.


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## Ronni (Jul 3, 2022)

Because all but one of my 5 kids are here with me, holiday dinners are potluck with Ron and me.

But his ex Julie sometimes wants to have a dinner so then it’s dinner with her with Rons girls, then another dinner with Ron and me with my kids.

I always include his kids when we host something. His ex never includes my kids when she does.


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## dobielvr (Jul 3, 2022)

We would alternate.  
Thanksgiving w/my family, then Christmas w/his family....and so on.

His family lives in the bay area, so we'd be getting out of town.


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## Gary O' (Jul 3, 2022)

fuzzybuddy said:


> .Where did you eat holiday dinners- with his, or her family? With your dad's or mom's family?


Most our married years we did our best to have quiet little holidays to ourselves.
Mainly because they all were filthy rich
We were just filthy

Our kids cherished our humble feasts
and talk about them to this day

Now?
They all come over here

....with 17 grands, it can get busy


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## Sassycakes (Jul 3, 2022)

Growing up my Mom's mother was bedridden from when I was born and she passed away before I was 5yrs old. My Dad's Mom hated my Mother so we were never invited to dinner. I give my Mother a lot of credit because even though we were treated badly she made sure we visited my Dad's mom every week and holiday. All the rest of the family would be in another room eating while we sat in the living room. Even on Christmas when my Grandmother gave all the grandchildren Christmas gifts neither me,my older sister nor my older brother ever got a gift. Looking back on it now if I were my Mom I would have made my Dad go alone. So from when I was young, my mother made all our Holiday dinners. Now me or my sister have the dinners.


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## Judycat (Jul 3, 2022)

I would make dinner and we'd eat. No other family. Maybe someone would come by later, other than that, it was just the husband, the kids, and me. People in wealthy families would have big dinners, because the idea of tradition is good for business. My sons married into big families where a tribal vibe is being cultivated,  so every damn holiday and birthday is an event where everyone is expected to attend. A public meeting hall will be rented for a kid's birthday party for God's sake!


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## jujube (Jul 3, 2022)

All holidays were spent with my relatives.  We weren't welcome at his.  After his mother started referring to me as "The Wh*re of Babylon", there wasn't much reason to get together and sing Kumbiyah, y'know.....


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## Patricia (Jul 3, 2022)

Sassycakes said:


> Growing up my Mom's mother was bedridden from when I was born and she passed away before I was 5yrs old. My Dad's Mom hated my Mother so we were never invited to dinner. I give my Mother a lot of credit because even though we were treated badly she made sure we visited my Dad's mom every week and holiday. All the rest of the family would be in another room eating while we sat in the living room. Even on Christmas when my Grandmother gave all the grandchildren Christmas gifts neither me,my older sister nor my older brother ever got a gift. Looking back on it now if I were my Mom I would have made my Dad go alone. So from when I was young, my mother made all our Holiday dinners. Now me or my sister have the dinners.


There are some people who seem to have a talent for making family dynamics difficult.


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## Patricia (Jul 3, 2022)

oldman said:


> We host Thanksgiving, New Year’s Day, Easter Sunday and Labor Day. My son does Christmas and July 4th.
> On Labor Day, we have it catered onsite because we invite about 40 people between relatives, friends and neighbors. Last year, we had 44 people and 7 kids. My wife said we went through 30 steaks or at least we were charged for 30 steaks. We are friends with the caterers, so we trust them.


I would be at a loss how to host that many.


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## WheatenLover (Jul 4, 2022)

When I lived near family, I hosted our holiday meals before I was married. After marriage, we had holiday meals at my MIL's house. Everyone one was invited from all sides of the family, including ex-spouses and all children. It was fun! The best part was that there were enough people for 2 or 3 tables of bridge.


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## hollydolly (Jul 4, 2022)

In my first marriage my M-I-L always insisted we spend holiday meals with her. She was a pro cook so who was I to argue... 

After my divorce.. and subsequent marriage  I just sent holiday dinner at home, and or at a restaurant..


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## Lethe200 (Jul 23, 2022)

We split holidays between his parents and my family. Now that they have passed away, we visit my family exclusively. Mostly because my family is full of really good cooks and he likes to eat, LOL!


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## PamfromTx (Jul 23, 2022)

It's just hubby and I for the last 24 years.  Before that, (Mom, my 2 sisters and I) would take turns preparing the feast.


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## Pepper (Jul 23, 2022)

I didn't have in-laws.  

Son's in-laws always invite me for all holiday dinners & other occasions.  They are exceptional hosts and all around good people.


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## PamfromTx (Jul 23, 2022)

I never got to meet my in-laws; as both has passed away by the time I met my husband.  I wish I had met hubby's mother; she sounds like she was an amazing woman.


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## Don M. (Jul 23, 2022)

We hosted the family/holiday gatherings for years.  Now, the daughters and granddaughters do the holidays.


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## Alligatorob (Jul 23, 2022)

Wherever I can.

A few years ago my wife and I had no Christmas dinner plans.  We took a drive and found a little bar that looked open in St Marks, Fl.  They were serving dinner to ship workers stranded alone in town, and a few bikers.  They explained that they were not really open, but we were welcome to join them.  It was a great dinner, interesting company, and no charge.  However family dinners are my preference.


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## dseag2 (Jul 23, 2022)

I'm an only child.  My father passed away many years ago, and my partner lost both of his parents very young.  His sister and brother and extended family are in Florida.  We always took my mother out for a fancy dinner on Thanksgiving.  There were years where my partner was in Florida for Christmas and I stayed in Texas.  I have fond memories of taking my mother out to a Japanese restaurant on Christmas Eve where the food was cooked at a communal table.  We even had one warm Christmas where I drove her there in a convertible with the top down.  She loved it, and enjoyed conversing with the other people at the table.  She passed away last November.

These days, we have quiet Thanksgivings and Christmases at home and go to Florida at the beginning of the New Year to visit my partner's family.


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## Patricia (Jul 23, 2022)

Special occasions were usually at my parent's house. They did a great job hosting!! I remember going to my parents and my mother- in- law for a meal at different hours on the same day. Once my mother passed away, I cooked, my daughter cooked, or we dined out somewhere special. I wanted my dad to have a special day, considering he had made sure all in his family did for so long.


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## Patricia (Jul 23, 2022)

dseag2 said:


> I'm an only child.  My father passed away many years ago, and my partner lost both of his parents very young.  His sister and brother and extended family are in Florida.  We always took my mother out for a fancy dinner on Thanksgiving.  There were years where my partner was in Florida for Christmas and I stayed in Texas.  I have fond memories of taking my mother out to a Japanese restaurant on Christmas Eve where the food was cooked at a communal table.  We even had one warm Christmas where I drove her there in a convertible with the top down.  She loved it, and enjoyed conversing with the other people at the table.  She passed away last November.
> 
> These days, we have quiet Thanksgivings and Christmases at home and go to Florida at the beginning of the New Year to visit my partner's family.


I assume I might have some understanding of what your past months have been like since your mother passed away. I'm sad to read about your loss.


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