# My will and executor



## Aurora (May 16, 2016)

I have a will and my good friend is the executor. I have been planning to move far away to another state. I am very concerned or worried that when the time comes to settle the small estate, he will need to travel all the way to do this job. When he does travel, he always goes with his small family, then only twice a year. He is also very busy with work. Besides, his wife makes the decisions in his family. He seems to listen and do what she wants, all the time. I do not have anyone else I can ask and trust do this important job. He is very good with money.
  How can I ask him or find out if my moving away will be a problem? I don't want to just come out and ask. He might be offended.


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## Warrigal (May 16, 2016)

I suggest that when you move you approach an attorney and lodge your will and other important document with them. Tell your friend who that is and when your friend needs to wind up your affairs he will only have to contact the attorney who will handle your estate taxes etc. Papers can be sent to your friend electronically for signing although he might have to appear in person once at the beginning and perhaps once at the end.

I am in that situation now. My aunt died two weeks ago in a country town and my cousin and I are her executors. I went to her funeral, stayed overnight and we went to see her solicitor the next day. Yesterday I received some papers by email and I have to sign one page, scan it and send it back. It is that easy these days.

Talk to your friend about this. You also need to consider what happens if your friend dies first. You probably need a second executor.


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## Guitarist (May 16, 2016)

I'm not a lawyer (nor do I play one on TV), but when my parents moved from one state to another the lawyer we knew in the new state told them they really should have new wills drawn up by a lawyer who was a member of that state's bar association.  Maybe you should look into that after you move.


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## Butterfly (May 16, 2016)

Aurora said:


> I have a will and my good friend is the executor. I have been planning to move far away to another state. I am very concerned or worried that when the time comes to settle the small estate, he will need to travel all the way to do this job. When he does travel, he always goes with his small family, then only twice a year. He is also very busy with work. Besides, his wife makes the decisions in his family. He seems to listen and do what she wants, all the time. I do not have anyone else I can ask and trust do this important job. He is very good with money.
> How can I ask him or find out if my moving away will be a problem? I don't want to just come out and ask. He might be offended.



Why might he be offended?  It's a legitimate business question.


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## Warrigal (May 16, 2016)

Anyone can be an executor. I acted for one of my aunts who had very little in her estate. All I had to do was make sure all her accounts were paid and any money owed to her was collected and added to her bank account. Then I asked the bank to release her money in accordance to the will. They discharged her account, writing a cheque in favour of her sister who was her only heir.

For my mother we needed to apply for probate. In this case we handed it over to her solicitor and he did the rest. All that was required of my sister and me was some information and our signatures for certain documents. When all the legal requirements were done, he wrote out the cheques and it was all over.

To help your executors it is good to collect useful paperwork in folders. One for bank statements, one for accounts like utilities and one for income streams, medical and other insurance etc. The executor or legal office will then have access to the necessary account numbers etc which will save a lot of time and expense trying to search for them.


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## Aurora (May 17, 2016)

My other issue with this is more personal. What if his wife does not want him to be executor at that time or discourages him from traveling. She rules.
He will have to clean out the apartment and disperse belongings (books and collectibles, car, etc) to the right benficiaries. It's not just signing papers.
You can never know for sure what will happen. For instance, I want a collection packaged and sent to another state, etc. He does not have the power of attorney, only executor.


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## Bobw235 (May 17, 2016)

Aurora said:


> My other issue with this is more personal. What if his wife does not want him to be executor at that time or discourages him from traveling. She rules.
> He will have to clean out the apartment and disperse belongings (books and collectibles, car, etc) to the right benficiaries. It's not just signing papers.
> You can never know for sure what will happen. For instance, I want a collection packaged and sent to another state, etc. He does not have the power of attorney, only executor.



I agree that when you move to a new state you should have a new will drawn up, or at a minimum, consult a lawyer.  My sister and her husband moved several times over the years, the last time to Maryland, where if you don't have a new will drafted in that state, half of the estate automatically goes to the next of kin and half goes to the spouse.  You best believe my sister has been told to get this taken care of ASAP.

With respect to the executor, there's nothing that says the person you named must serve.  They can decline for any reason and I believe the court will appoint a new executor.


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## Butterfly (May 17, 2016)

Aurora said:


> My other issue with this is more personal. What if his wife does not want him to be executor at that time or discourages him from traveling. She rules.
> He will have to clean out the apartment and disperse belongings (books and collectibles, car, etc) to the right benficiaries. It's not just signing papers.
> You can never know for sure what will happen. For instance, I want a collection packaged and sent to another state, etc. He does not have the power of attorney, only executor.



Powers of attorney become invalid upon your death, anyway; at least here they do.

Sounds to me like you are troubled by your selection of this person; perhaps you should select someone whom you trust to carry out your wishes.  

I also agree with Bobw235 that you'll probably need a new will if you move to another state.  Each state is different.   Additionally, I am unsure if an executor under a will in one state would even be able to legally act in another state.  I think you should see an attorney to find out if your will would even be valid in another state.  It's the only way to avoid what could become a big mess and result in your wishes not being followed.


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## fureverywhere (May 17, 2016)

I will appoint my oldest boy...I've bought the farm...it's up to him now.


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