# I remember when neighbors looked out for each other



## Barneyhill (Oct 22, 2019)

I remember when neighbors looked out for each other and they helped discipling each other's kids. That's right I was born and spent my childhood on a street  named Jefferson street in in my old hometown of South Bend Indiana. I was raised with my grandparents.  They knew and befriended everyone on the block.  Those were the days neighbors talked and got along with each other very well and they also served as extended families they helped to watch out for each other's children and yes they had permission to spank us if we were caught doing bad things. If your neighbor spanked you did your mom or dad get mad? Hell no! in fact if you got whipped by a neighbor he or she would step over to your house and tell your parents you got a spanking and explain why they had to do it.

Sometimes if what you did to get a whipping from your neighbor was bad enough your parents would give you another spanking.  Did it hurt us kids no in long run it helped to build us into better people in our later years. I remember summer nights neighbors gathering around on our porch laughing and talking while we kids ran across lawns down dark alleys without fear because way back then crime was very low and as a child you felt safe. And we would be so happy to see grown folks getting along so well.

I suffered from occasional bouts of acute bronchitis'
 One summer's night a neighbor couple came to sit with my grandmother and they prayed over me because my attack was more severe than usual I will never forget that they spent most the night with us in prayer. 
It's amazing how well many American city neighborhoods were similar to ours. How well people related to each other. No matter what race they were they took time to share and communicate with each other on a positive and effective way.
All of us kids respected the older people around us. If they angered us we didn't talk back to them  in a disrespectful manner. In our later years when we grew up, we remembered and praised the adult neighbors who watched over us yes and spanked us when it was needed, We knew they helped to make us better people.
Those days have long passed. Neighborhoods are different now. 
My daughter called me 3 years ago and told me on her street  two young boys got into a fight. A mother of one of the boys angrily walked down the block and threatened to shoot the mother of the boy her son was fighting. 
Later I went to visit her she  walked me outside to her next door neighbor's house and showed me how the kids on her street stuffed rags into her neighbor's down spout and had knocked down one side of her back yard wooden fence. And she showed me video she took on her cell  phone showing two young neighbor boys picking up and smashing her neighbors flower planters.

Oh lord have things changed!!!!!!


Now you can understand why I praise the days of the early 1960's I am thankful to have had the privilege to live in a time when Americans practiced the fine art of living in harmony with their neighbors.


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## win231 (Oct 22, 2019)

Some things have changed for the better.  I'm glad I never lived in South Bend, Indiana.
Parents who beat their kids are ignorant.  If a neighbor ever hit my kids, he would likely be a deceased neighbor.


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## hollydolly (Oct 22, 2019)

Things have changed for sure, and not for the better when it comes to neighbourly realtions, but thank goodness they haven't changed in this country to  where people get threatened with guns for the actions of their children... ..yet!!


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## terry123 (Oct 22, 2019)

I remember those days Barney.  It was exactly the same where I was raised. All the neighbors knew each other and looked out for each other.  That included making sure we acted right and respected our elders. Yes times have changed and not for the better.


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## TravelinMan (Oct 22, 2019)

The two places we live still have some of that neighborliness but there are sure some neighbors that we don't get along so well with.  Of course, there is no "spanking" but we do look our for the children who live here.  It has been fun to watch the grow up and leave home for college.


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## gennie (Oct 22, 2019)

I was blessed with a lot of grandparenting.  Squabbles within the neighborhood, they insisted on hearing both sides. Problems at school though and I had equal problems at home.  Respect for teachers/authority was a must.


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## Silverfox (Oct 22, 2019)

I remember the days when I was a child and a neighbor saw me acting up and they would correct me if my own parents were not there. I thought nothing of it. I was always taught to be respectful to them and listen to them and if I didn't I would sure have a handful of problems to deal with my parents found out.


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## Grampa Don (Oct 22, 2019)

I was a kid in the 40's.  If one of our neighbors had struck either me or my brother, my Mom would have been all over them.  Maybe your neighborhood was different.

Don


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## Butterfly (Oct 22, 2019)

Grampa Don said:


> I was a kid in the 40's.  If one of our neighbors had struck either me or my brother, my Mom would have been all over them.  Maybe your neighborhood was different.
> 
> Don



I was a kid in the 50s.  Neighbors might come out and tell you to quit doing something, but they never would have hit anyone else's child.


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## Silverfox (Oct 22, 2019)

Grampa Don said:


> I was a kid in the 40's.  If one of our neighbors had struck either me or my brother, my Mom would have been all over them.  Maybe your neighborhood was different.
> 
> Don


They would never hit me or any other kid. They just would correct us if we were doing wrong and we for the most part would listen which seems not to be the norm with kids today.


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## Sassycakes (Oct 22, 2019)

*I loved the way things were when I was growing up. I lived in the City and most of the neighbors were like family. Everyone looked out for each other. I never felt like I was alone. My neighbors were all loving people.*


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## treeguy64 (Oct 22, 2019)

@Barneyhill : " .......laughing and talking while we kids ran across lawns down dark alleys without fear because way back then crime was very low and as a child you felt safe."

Uh, no, I certainly wouldn't feel safe in your old neighborhood, knowing that an adult, other than my mom or dad, could haul off and smack me for some perceived offense I had just committed.

Actually, I'm very glad I never lived in a messed up, physically abusive neighborhood like yours!


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## Barneyhill (Oct 22, 2019)

terry123 said:


> I remember those days Barney.  It was exactly the same where I was raised. All the neighbors knew each other and looked out for each other.  That included making sure we acted right and respected our elders. Yes times have changed and not for the better.


 You know terry when I look back at those times I wonder was it all real. It's like looking back at a dream  Those were really great times. people were different because of the values that were passed to them from the generations that were born and raised in the earlier part of the 20th century. 
I try to explain to my daughter how neighborhoods were structured back in my childhood I don't think she believes me because of time frame she lived as a child. Nothing like what explained in my thread remotely exists now in the 21st especially in the current city I live in.
I don't know why American neighborhoods took a turn for the worst the past 30 years or so.
Maybe a sociologist could explain these changes to us.

I forgot mention in my thread there were no such things on our street as deadbolt locks. We didn't have to burn porch lights and home security lights didn't exist nor burglar alarm systems, Our front door was made of wood and all we had was a hook lock and we would sleep with the front door wide open without porch lights on hot summer nights. All our neighbors lived the same. Unbelievable isn't it?

if can get any worse than what is  now it's time to build bomb shelters and prepare to move into them!


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## Silverfox (Oct 22, 2019)

With Halloween and Trick or Treating coming up I remember back when I was a kid and went Trick or Treating in my neighborhood as a child and it is so much different than what it is today. There were so many neighbors who invited the children into their homes for hot cider and cookies where I lived and the amount of homemade goodies I got as treats outweighed the other store bought candy. Today this would never happen and each year you have to worry about the candy being tainted with drugs and other things.


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## applecruncher (Oct 22, 2019)

treeguy64 said:


> @Barneyhill : " .......laughing and talking while we kids ran across lawns down dark alleys without fear because way back then crime was very low and as a child you felt safe."
> 
> Uh, no, I certainly wouldn't feel safe in your old neighborhood, knowing that an adult, other than my mom or dad, could haul off and smack me for some perceived offense I had just committed.
> 
> Actually, I'm very glad I never lived in a messed up, physically abusive neighborhood like yours!



Yeah, I don't see how beating on kids (your own or someone else's) equates to neighbors "looking out for each other".


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## Grampa Don (Oct 22, 2019)

"Gee but all those times were great.  Everybody pulled their weight.  Those were the days."

I think you're looking at the past with rose colored glasses.  Weren't there burglars in the 60's?  We've lived on a quiet suburb block for over 50 years.  I can't remember anyone on the block getting burgled.  One house has a burglar alarm sign in their yard.  They're newcomers.

Yes, there are bad neighborhoods.  There have always been bad neighborhoods.  Some companies make big money promoting fear, and local news is quick to spread it.  We lock our doors at night, but so did my Mom.

Don


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## win231 (Oct 22, 2019)

applecruncher said:


> Yeah, I don't see how beating on kids (your own or someone else's) equates to neighbors "looking out for each other".



When ignorant parents like to beat their kids to feel "powerful & in control," they find ways to justify it & make it sound like something beneficial.  Like calling it "looking out for each other."


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## Silverfox (Oct 22, 2019)

I never understood beating kids and never used that on my two children. There are many other methods of punishment that seem effective and have worked for me without laying a hand on my children. I feel being firm and using teachable lessons in the punishment are the way to making a statement with children.


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## treeguy64 (Oct 22, 2019)

These ruminations on the good old days, in utopian neighborhoods, are, surely, wishful thoughts, after the fact.

In truth, I wonder how many kids, in that "whack 'em for their own good" neighborhood, as above, were scarred, forever, by the physical abuse meted out by parents and neighbors! 

Also, the internet didn't exist, back then. Privacy could, in fact, be maintained. Those who expound on the safety of their old neighborhoods, and the idyllic lives they led, as kids, have no idea what actually was going on, back then, behind the closed doors of their neighbors. 

Our species has always been prone to violence and despicable acts. You might remember your old neighborhood as a safe, wonderful place. Good for you. The reality of that neighborhood was something totally different, I can almost guarantee.


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## Barneyhill (Oct 22, 2019)

Grampa Don said:


> "Gee but all those times were great.  Everybody pulled their weight.  Those were the days."
> 
> I think you're looking at the past with rose colored glasses.  Weren't there burglars in the 60's?  We've lived on a quiet suburb block for over 50 years.  I can't remember anyone on the block getting burgled.  One house has a burglar alarm sign in their yard.  They're newcomers.
> 
> ...


 There may have been thieves that broke in homes in the 60's but no one ever bothered my family home or homes of neighbors  if  anyone's house was invaded I certainly would have heard from the grown ups. Nothing like that would be whispered about. We didn't burn front porch lights back porch lights Because it was a good street and would you believe neighbors didn't have air conditioners, all they had were the metal blade fans that didn't cool them enough on hot summer nights. Families would sometimes spread coverings on their front porches and sleep outside all night without fear.
I don't recall hearing anyone mention they were attacked in way while sleeping on their porches. Haven't you heard about this is how some families cooled themselves back then?
Throughout my life I even was told that some neighborhoods  in cities like Chicago was so peaceful on summer nights families would sleep on sheets in Grant Park.
These people weren't wearing rosy glasses they were just recounting an real experience from their young years. I got to hear this from people who lived in Chicago because my current city is only 35 miles away from there.

You don't understand why I look back at those times the way I do. I live in Gary Indiana and it is a crime ridden and sorely lacking in brotherly love. I live just the opposite of what I did in my old hometown South Bend. We have to burn lights front and back and on our big yard all night. I have window alarms mounted on my back door window panes and have bars and window alarms on my back bedroom windows because thieves once used our central air unit as a ladder to try to break in our home.

I have a lock bar under my backdoor knob to block entrance of any thief.
Someone recently stole the driving way gates from our fence another worry for me!!
And the spirit of neighbor helping neighbor just doesn't exist. Nothing like I remember as child in South Bend on Jefferson street back in the early 1960's. On my current block it's each man for themselves. You have to look out for yourself.
It is not looking back at those days with rosy glasses it's someone who looks back at wonderful peaceful times compares it to their current moment and wonders dear God what went wrong.


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## C'est Moi (Oct 22, 2019)

Well, I lived in a friendly and safe neighborhood and I do remember it fondly.   No parents ever disciplined anyone else's children beyond a little well-deserved yelling.   It was great growing up and feeling safe, and knowing I could knock on any door on the block if I needed help with anything.   So yeah... it was the "good old days" to me.


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## Pepper (Oct 22, 2019)

So, Barney, what's keeping you in Gary, Indiana?  Why can't you move?  Why is there the connect in your mind between your present situation and spanking neighborhood children in the past?  Or, are you just into spanking?


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## Grampa Don (Oct 22, 2019)

Barney  -  It sounds like you live in a place with a high crime rate, and that's unfortunate.  But, not everywhere is like that.  There are still neighborhoods where people live peacefully and even help each other out.  Pepper says why don't you move.  But, that's not always economically feasible.  When times are tough, the crime rate goes up.  And, times are tough in a lot of places.  I wish you well.

Don


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## Barneyhill (Oct 22, 2019)

C'est Moi said:


> Well, I lived in a friendly and safe neighborhood and I do remember it fondly.   No parents ever disciplined anyone else's children beyond a little well-deserved yelling.   It was great growing up and feeling safe, and knowing I could knock on any door on the block if I needed help with anything.   So yeah... it was the "good old days" to me.


 You too! great if we could organize a "Good Old Days"


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## terry123 (Oct 22, 2019)

No rose colored glasses here and my mom could give all of us looks and we knew to straighten up. This included visiting kids!  If we did not she would threaten to get a switch and we certainly did not want to feel that sting on our legs. And if we were at other houses we were expected to behave and respect the parents there.


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## Barneyhill (Oct 22, 2019)

Pepper said:


> So, Barney, what's keeping you in Gary, Indiana?  Why can't you move?  Why is there the connect in your mind between your present situation and spanking neighborhood children in the past?  Or, are you just into spanking?


 I have a stubborn husband very stubborn he isn't going anywhere. He was born and raised in a small town in Mississippi and he and his family were extremely poor. He had 5 other brothers. when they grew up they wanted a better way of life. Four of them including my husband headed up north. The four of them ended up as laborers in the local steel mill

They did up moving up the economic bracket to a much better way of life. All of these are stuck here you can't get them to leave. 
May I make a correction my husband's youngest brother passed away 2 years ago, So that leaves 3 stubborn men who refuse to go they all are retired and I believe they would fare better back in Mississippi as far as peace of mind and safer living conditions and being around warm and friendly people once more. They refuse to go anywhere outside of Gary.
Only a psychologist could give a logical explanation of why they choose to stay in city that is riddled with crime and falling apart in everyway and  inhabited   by some of the meanest people you find anywhere in America.

I have my own theory. My husband and his brothers were absolutely poor in Mississippi. They had no running inside water their of home they had to pump their water on the outside, No electricity.  No inside bathroom. Their father raised pigs and chickens on their property so there was a little food. At least they didn't starve. For Christmas they didn't get toys just a few pieces of fruit.
They all focused on school worked hard in their studies. And school was a way out for all of them.

They moved north and as I said entered the steel mills. They worked hard and purchased nice homes and never had to experienced again the poverty that afflicted them in Mississippi. I see the stubbornness in my husband about re-locating from Gary connected someway to their origins in the south. He has an illogical loyalty to this city. He sees nothing that wrong here. He is serious. No matter about the high crime rate. no matter about the city's crumbling state and no matter how bad the disposition of people here to him everything is o.k.

Now do you understand the position I am in?

If changed he mind and wanted to leave it would just a matter of a few months and we would out of here
I hope you see what I mean now.

I never focused on children needed a extra hand in disciplining by spanking until I lived here long enough to realize these kids are off the charts when it comes to bad attitudes and  bad behavior. They aren't being steered right in their homes the worst of them are usually the product of a teen mom and the dad is missing from their lives to help them grow into well adjusted children.

Whoever you are please believe I never seen children this terrible until I moved here. And that is the truth. you want an example? 5 blocks from my home was the home of my best friend she told me there was an elderly couple on her block who began exercising each day by taking a stroll around the block it didn't last long because the kids on the street didn't like seeing them so they threw rocks at them and drove them back into their home. And they did  the same to a middle aged plus size lady who started walking to lose a few pounds. They pelted her with rocks and drove her off the sidewalks.
Now I hope you see why I feel the way I do about this city
Thanks for taking time to read this.











Why am I into spanking kids and trying to discipline because my friend these are the most horrific children I have known rude so vulgar there is no other way to describe the children I have encountered since my stay in Gary. back when I was child the kind of behavior I have witnessed on my street and throughout Gary would have never been allowed when I was growing up.  I am extending my opinion about gary Kids beyond my street,
maybe I seem mean about how I feel about them but


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## win231 (Oct 22, 2019)

Barneyhill said:


> I have a stubborn husband very stubborn he isn't going anywhere. He was born and raised in a small town in Mississippi and he and his family were extremely poor. He had 5 other brothers. when they grew up they wanted a better way of life. Four of them including my husband headed up north. The four of them ended up as laborers in the local steel mill
> 
> They did up moving up the economic bracket to a much better way of life. All of these are stuck here you can't get them to leave.
> May I make a correction my husband's youngest brother passed away 2 years ago, So that leaves 3 stubborn men who refuse to go they all are retired and I believe they would fare better back in Mississippi as far as peace of mind and safer living conditions and being around warm and friendly people once more. They refuse to go anywhere outside of Gary.
> ...


Try doing some logical thinking (for a change).  Kids are misbehaving, being violent & mean, so beating them is a smart solution?  How did that work out in--as you say--"Crime Ridden Indiana?"  All that spanking should have made your city crime free (by your logic).

My (ignorant & angry) mother was also a raging witch who hit me.  As a child, I couldn't figure out why, in school, I'd find a kid who was smaller & weaker (or handicapped) than me & beat him up.  I figured it out later.  I was simply doing what my mother taught me - that if you're angry & frustrated, it's OK to beat someone, as long as they're smaller than you.  And even if you're not angry, hitting someone gives you a sense of power.  That is what you teach your kids when you hit them.
When my mother died, none of her 4 kids attended her funeral; we were too busy enjoying the moment.  And the fact that she suffered the worst thing she hated the most - being completely bedridden for her last 3 months was icing on the cake.  She told me frequently, "Every night I go to sleep & pray that I die."  I'd think, "Yeah....so do I."
Spank/beat your kids & they're likely to take it out on people later.  As an example, in an interview, Jeffrey Dahmer's father bragged that he spanked his child whenever he got out of line.  He's too stupid to understand what he was creating.
Just research the childhoods of inmates serving life or on death row.  I have.
As I said, it's how ignorant parents discipline their kids.


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## treeguy64 (Oct 22, 2019)

OK, I grew up in Chicago. Among my social group, South Bend, Indiana, was known to be a terrible, dangerous city to live in, even in the 60's. Now, it's worse! I do not believe the OP is misrepresenting her childhood experience in this city. It's simply a case of not actually knowing what was going on in her hometown, as a whole. She had an island of bliss, no doubt, but her city was far from the paradise she thought it was, when she was very young. 

South Bend, today:
https://www.google.com/amp/s/patch..../south-bend-one-worst-cities-live-study-finds


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## hollydolly (Oct 22, 2019)

Oh @win231 , don't be so harsh on @Barneyhill. she's only been with us a week, she'll start to think we're all horrible,.. let her be, to settle in and find her way around and have some nice chats before she decides to leave the forum because we're all nasty...  ... 

Take no notice Barneyhill..Win231, is very nice really, he's just very direct and to the point.. !! Hope you're enjoying the forum so far!!


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## Pepper (Oct 22, 2019)

I may not necessarily agree with Barney's conclusions, but she is well spoken and explains herself quite thoroughly, IMO.  I am also basically stuck where I am.  I don't like where I am.  But where I am is safe and convenient, just not my cup of tea.  I would choose differently if I had the means, but really, it's a matter of taste and many  might consider where I am to be enviable.


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## Grampa Don (Oct 22, 2019)

Thanks for the explanation, Barney.  I can see why you feel the way you do.  But, I suspect those bad kids have been beaten plenty already.  To paraphrase Redd Foxx, "follow a troubled kid home and a troubled adult will answer the door."

 I hope the situation improves for you somehow.

Don


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## Barneyhill (Oct 22, 2019)

hollydolly said:


> Oh @win231 , don't be so harsh on @Barneyhill. she's only been with us a week, she'll start to think we're all horrible,.. let her be, to settle in and find her way around and have some nice chats before she decides to leave the forum because we're all nasty...  ...
> 
> Take no notice Barneyhill..Win231, is very nice really, he's just very direct and to the point.. !! Hope you're enjoying the forum so far!!


  Why would I think all of you are being mean and nasty? Everyone has a right to their opinion. what has been posted to me is mild in comparison to what I have experienced over the years in other forums. hollydolly I think you are very nice. I am not offended by any of the members.


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## Suzy623 (Oct 22, 2019)

win231 said:


> Parents who beat their kids are ignorant. If a n


There was a big difference in getting 'beat' and 'getting a spanking'. I will agree to disagree with you on this though and I hope you do the same.


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## win231 (Oct 22, 2019)

Suzy623 said:


> There was a big difference in getting 'beat' and 'getting a spanking'. I will agree to disagree with you on this though and I hope you do the same.


I see no reason to allow a parent to do something to their child that they would be arrested & charged with a crime if they did it to their spouse, a stranger, or someone else's child.


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## Capt Lightning (Oct 23, 2019)

I've said many times that my parents either couldn't or wouldn't construct a reasoned argument for anything.  Things were black & white - it was their way or no way, and if I disagreed, I was hit with anything that came to hand.  I didn't really hold it against them for hitting me, but I could never tolerate their inability or reluctance to explain anything.  Ask mother a question and her favourite answer was "I don't know".   With my kids, it was "I don't know, but lets try to find out".

However, there certainly was a spirit of neighbourliness in my young days (50's), but later on this had changed to remoteness.  You almost felt that you needed a letter of introduction to say "hello".  

In this village it's not exactly back to square one, but people are generally friendly and respectful of one another.  Some neighbours used to annoy me by letting their kids ride mini-motorbikes round the place, but as my daughter put it, you have to put up with a bit of noise because you know that if you're in trouble, they will be the first to help.


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## hollydolly (Oct 23, 2019)

Grampa Don said:


> Thanks for the explanation, Barney.  I can see why you feel the way you do.  But, I suspect those bad kids have been beaten plenty already.  To paraphrase Redd Foxx, *"follow a troubled kid home and a troubled adult will answer the door."
> 
> 
> 
> ...


*
*
I've never heard that quote before Don, but oh how true that is !!


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## Ruthanne (Oct 23, 2019)

"Sometimes if what you did to get a whipping from your neighbor was bad enough your parents would give you another spanking.  Did it hurt us kids no in long run it helped to build us into better people in our later years."

Maybe that's why I'm having all the mental problems I have at this point in my life...lol  Just had to cut and paste that!


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## Ruthanne (Oct 23, 2019)

But really, I never got a spanking from any neighbor.  One did tell on me to my mom and I hated her after that. 

I do remember the days when the neighbors were always there and were friends and it was really nice.  After my dad died the entire sibling family (13 of them) of our neighbors came over and offered help to us and I thought that was really sweet of them.  I didn't take any help as I'm one like that.


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## win231 (Oct 23, 2019)

hollydolly said:


> Oh @win231 , don't be so harsh on @Barneyhill. she's only been with us a week, she'll start to think we're all horrible,.. let her be, to settle in and find her way around and have some nice chats before she decides to leave the forum because we're all nasty...  ...
> 
> Take no notice Barneyhill..Win231, is very nice really, he's just very direct and to the point.. !! Hope you're enjoying the forum so far!!


^^^^  Nailed it!  Ya sure got my number!


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## win231 (Oct 23, 2019)

Suzy623 said:


> There was a big difference in getting 'beat' and 'getting a spanking'. I will agree to disagree with you on this though and I hope you do the same.


That's how abusive parents justify it.


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## fmdog44 (Oct 31, 2019)

Kids stay in their homes now more than before computers came to be. Kids made up games to be played on streets and yards.


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## Aunt Marg (Jun 3, 2020)

Barneyhill said:


> I remember when neighbors looked out for each other and they helped discipling each other's kids. That's right I was born and spent my childhood on a street  named Jefferson street in in my old hometown of South Bend Indiana. I was raised with my grandparents.  They knew and befriended everyone on the block.  Those were the days neighbors talked and got along with each other very well and they also served as extended families they helped to watch out for each other's children and yes they had permission to spank us if we were caught doing bad things. If your neighbor spanked you did your mom or dad get mad? Hell no! in fact if you got whipped by a neighbor he or she would step over to your house and tell your parents you got a spanking and explain why they had to do it.
> 
> Sometimes if what you did to get a whipping from your neighbor was bad enough your parents would give you another spanking.  Did it hurt us kids no in long run it helped to build us into better people in our later years. I remember summer nights neighbors gathering around on our porch laughing and talking while we kids ran across lawns down dark alleys without fear because way back then crime was very low and as a child you felt safe. And we would be so happy to see grown folks getting along so well.
> 
> ...


A truly lovely post! Boy, do I ever associate with so much of what you mentioned!


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## Aunt Marg (Jun 3, 2020)

I remember when playing as kids equated to calling everyone's yards your very own, no one put the run on you or told you get off their lawn. Gosh, I remember playing tag and hide-and-seek, and no ones yard was out of bounds, and not once did anyone every say anything to us kids.


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## Aunt Marg (Nov 24, 2020)

When I was growing up, there wasn't a neighbour that didn't know the next, and everyone knew each others children. Had any child needed a place to go after school or because there were no parents at home, a knock on anyone's door and said child would have been taken in and taken care of. _Try that today_.

Having grown up in a poor home, mom would call up one of the neighbours and ask, "_do you have a little extra such-and-such on-hand_", and if they did, mom would hand me a measuring cup and say, "_Marg, run over to so-and-so's place and get me the cup of flour or sugar that I need_". Then on payday mom would replenish her supplies of this-and-that, and back over to the neighbours mom or I would to return what mom borrowed.

When it came to an emergency babysitter, all a mom had to do back in the day was call up one of her trusty neighbours and problem solved. Today, most people don't even know their neighbours.

I'll never forget the neighbours we had for their generosity either, for when it was their shopping day, they knew my mom was saddled-down with little ones, and they'd call over to the house and ask, "_is there anything you need, because I'm going out shopping today_". How lovely that was, and I remember the same was extended to my dad who couldn't afford a truck, yet I recall two Misters in the neighbourhood saying to my dad, "here, here is the keys to my truck, take it".

My dad never did, so said neighbours would drop-over to the house in their trucks, load up any/all yard waste we had and they'd take it away, and for nothing, and I remember them picking my dad up so my dad could buy and bring home building supplies. Everyone was always there for one another, and no one ever asked for so much as a penny.

Same went for hand-me-downs and such, bags, and I'm taking big plastic garbage bags of hand-me-downs would be brought over to our house. Thinking about it now makes me sad, but at the time I was relieved for my parents sake, because I knew they were struggling, and that the donated clothing items were a saving-grace for them. A winter jacket, a pair of snow pants, a few pairs of jeans, a few tops... all went a long ways in our home.

Neighbours didn't know how truly poor we were, because days before my dad paycheck would come, we had no food left in the house, but had any one of our neighbours known how bad things were in our home, there isn't a doubt in my mind that they would have been on our doorstep with boxes and bags filled with food for us.

I remember one neighbour used to make homemade wine, and every year that neighbour used to bring over a bottle or two of his homemade wine for mom and dad, and I recall a few times on really miserable days, being driven to school by a caring neighbour that was considerate enough to drop-in at the house on their way to work and offer to take us kids to school.

During the winter months when someone go stuck, we kids were there, we'd amass like an army and help push them free. How many times I've witnessed a neighbour in a lurch, and no one comes to their rescue.

Times have changed... how I miss the days of old.


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## aron (Nov 24, 2020)

I don't remember neighbours' looking out for each other' on the street where I lived , growing up in Yorkshire. I do remember they were all friendly with each other, and we always knew the names of people all along the street. They seemed to stay for years. Yes, we were a friendly bunch, and there didn't seem to be any crime around. We had respect for our elders, I know that.

And never swore ( except in secret ! )


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## jerry old (Nov 24, 2020)

Late 40's-early 50's in apt complexes, a kid's butt was community property.
Whacks with an open hand was the norm, never saw a kid (which was not their own) whacked with a switch, stick...
The worst part was you parent's would be informed which meant more whacks. 

Whacks on the butt with an open hand make more noise than the infliction of pain.

Not sure when the standards changed, it was taboo in the 1970's...


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## jerry old (Nov 24, 2020)

This thread appears to trace the change of societal norms in our culture.
It is neither good, nor bad, it is just the way it was, but it is extremely interesting.


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## Aunt Marg (Nov 24, 2020)

aron said:


> I don't remember neighbours' looking out for each other' on the street where I lived , growing up in Yorkshire. *I do remember they were all friendly with each other, and we always knew the names of people all along the street. They seemed to stay for years.* Yes, we were a friendly bunch, and there didn't seem to be any crime around. We had respect for our elders, I know that.
> 
> And never swore ( except in secret ! )


Same for my childhood neighbourhood.

Neighbours were long-time standing fixtures.


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## Chet (Nov 24, 2020)

I grew up in a small town atmosphere where everyone knew each other and their kids played together. We got into mischief but we never got whacked by neighbors since we ran like hell and never got caught. If I was whacked at all by my parents it was probably more of a light tap or two which I don't remember anyway. The freakin' nuns however had no problem using the cat-o-nine tails if we screwed up. I got it once and it is traumatic for a small kid. I'm glad they are all dead. Good riddance.


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## jerry old (Nov 24, 2020)

Who can clarify this topic for me:
Nuns whacked kids with a ruler: yes or no?
No whacking with paddle, switch, stick-yes-no

Watched documentary of 'facility' for unwed mothers in Ireland run by nuns-Brutal,...
Their supposed to have cleaned up their act, but the 'facility' are 'personnel only,' so it is
difficult to get info.


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## Aunt Marg (Nov 24, 2020)

Chet said:


> I grew up in a small town atmosphere where everyone knew each other and their kids played together. We got into mischief but we never got whacked by neighbors since we ran like hell and never got caught. If I was whacked at all by my parents it was probably more of a light tap or two which I don't remember anyway. *The freakin' nuns however had no problem using the cat-o-nine tails if we screwed up*. I got it once and it is traumatic for a small kid. I'm glad they are all dead. Good riddance.


Stories such as this anger me like no other!

If I ever caught someone using such a thing on a child...


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## Aunt Marg (Nov 24, 2020)

jerry old said:


> Who can clarify this topic for me:
> Nuns whacked kids with a ruler: yes or no?
> No whacking with paddle, switch, stick-yes-no
> 
> ...


No care-home, daycare, or any other facility should be allowed to impose physical punishment/discipline.

Why aren't authorities stepping in and cleaning this place up?

If there's one thing I've learned about society today, scaredy-cat-ism is prevalent.


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## Autumn (Nov 24, 2020)

I grew up in the same kind of neighborhood.  My grandparents lived downstairs and my aunt and uncle lived next door.  We knew all the neighbors, and we could all count on each other.

One day, my Nana was walking home.  She set her handbag down on the ground to tie her shoelace and then walked away and left it there.  A few minutes later, a neighbor came running down the street to return it to her.  

I actually have some long-term neighbors here and we all try to look out for one another.  I know it's rare these days, and I feel truly blessed.


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## fmdog44 (Nov 24, 2020)

I live in a condo and some people always say hello while others never say a word. One young women moved in the unit directly across from me and never said a word even when we both opened our front doors that face each other at the same time in the morning to go to work.


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## Aunt Marg (Nov 24, 2020)

One thing I have been dead-against forever and a day... nuns being left in charge of a child, any child.

NEVER should laws have allowed for children to be watched-over by a nun or nuns, *NOT*... *EVER**!*


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