# People who have no concept of time



## applecruncher (Aug 31, 2015)

Is there anyone in you life who is:

I’m waiting on someone right now who is now over 30 min late. This is the last time. I’m not gonna rant and rave….not worth it. I’ll just not ever depend on them again for anything.

Chronically late – always has (lame) excuses
Tries to make it seem as if you’re the unreasonable one because you’re too rigid
Makes others wait for them regardless of prior arrangements - sometimes you get a call, sometimes not

GRRR! Totally disrespectful and irresponsible.

I’ve had to deal with a few of these people, and they make me wanna SCREAM. My sister was the worst. Never on time – never. My older brother and I got to the point where we didn’t bother to invite her to gatherings. How she ever kept a job I will never know.


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## GeorgiaXplant (Aug 31, 2015)

It's not that they have no concept of time. They're selfish and inconsiderate because they aren't one bit concerned about how it affects those who wait for them. They are only interested in what they want to do and when they want to do it.

There are ways to deal with the chronically late...start without them, leave without them, don't include them. After a while, it might make a difference to them. Or not. But it will free you up to do whatever it is that you meant to do.


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## applecruncher (Aug 31, 2015)

> They're selfish and inconsiderate because they aren't one bit concerned about how it affects those who wait for them.



True.

btw I've gotten someone else to do what the person was supposed to do at 9:00 this morning. I'm not going to bother to call AGAIN and try to find out what is going on. If they ever show up or call (which I doubt they will), I'll tell them forget it and goodbye.


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## hollydolly (Aug 31, 2015)

Oh don't even get me started on this!! I am a pedantic time keeper,  almost always early for everything, and actually the thought of keeping anyone waiting for me almost gives me a panic attack. I have no idea where that came from but there it is..

I expect people to be on time for me too, unless there's a genuine reason not to be, otherwise it's the ultimate in selfishness and rudeness IMO. By wasting your time making _you_ wait for them is the ultimate in selfishness and rudeness for them to imagine their time is more precious than yours!! It drives me NUTS!!!!


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## Falcon (Aug 31, 2015)

I fully agree with all above.

As a former military pilot, time was  exceedingly important !  You'd better BE THERE on your assigned time or the mission might fail.

I refuse to associate with anybody who doesn't reasonably adhere to the specified time.  They can stick to their own kind of people.


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## applecruncher (Aug 31, 2015)

> I refuse to associate with anybody who doesn't reasonably adhere to the specified time. They can stick to their own kind of people.



Usually these types have lives full of chaos, confusion, and drama.  They're used to it.


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## SeaBreeze (Aug 31, 2015)

I am always on time or early, it is the only responsible and considerate way to be whether it's a dentist appointment, or a visit with a friend.  It really bugs me when someone is completely unreliable, always late or doesn't show at all.  I expect the worst with those few people, so I'm never that disappointed.


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## rt3 (Aug 31, 2015)

applecruncher said:


> Usually these types have lives full of chaos, confusion, and drama.  They're used to it.



so you types are neurotic, ocd, wear tight shoes, and have your clocks set wrong?


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## Shalimar (Aug 31, 2015)

Was that satire I just read??


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## rt3 (Aug 31, 2015)

I forgot teeth grinding.


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## WhatInThe (Aug 31, 2015)

GeorgiaXplant said:


> It's not that they have no concept of time. They're selfish and inconsiderate because they aren't one bit concerned about how it affects those who wait for them. They are only interested in what they want to do and when they want to do it.
> 
> There are ways to deal with the chronically late...start without them, leave without them, don't include them. After a while, it might make a difference to them. Or not. But it will free you up to do whatever it is that you meant to do.



Agree, Some say those always late or the last one there want to draw attention to themselves conscientiously or sub conscientiously. Sort of like a grand entrance theme.

I will say many don't have a sense of time as in how long they have or haven't been at something. I know people who can talk for hours on the phone and others might last 10 minutes.

As I got older I made more effort to be on time but to leave time to take my time. By my early to mid 30s I didn't even want an adrenaline rush getting from A to B as quick as I could. Some get upset at me to this day because I don't consider travel a contest. A game of survival but not a contest. I take my time.


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## Cookie (Aug 31, 2015)

I try to always be on time for appointments, but with friends, we give each some leeway, if we're meeting in a cafe or pub, we can be flexible 10 or 15 minutes without bursting a blood vessel. There can be unforeseen events, traffic delays, etc. and in which case cell phones come in handy. Since many of us are retired,  its nice to relax about this, and I think the days of the punch time clock are gone in most work places, wherein people aren't watched like hawks to make sure they are not a minute or two late.


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## hollydolly (Aug 31, 2015)

WhatInThe said:


> Agree, Some say those always late or the last one there want to draw attention to themselves conscientiously or sub conscientiously. Sort of like a grand entrance theme.
> 
> I will say many don't have a sense of time as in how long they have or haven't been at something. I know people who can talk for hours on the phone and others might last 10 minutes.
> 
> As I got older I made more effort to be on time but to leave time to take my time. By my early to mid 30s I didn't even want an adrenaline rush getting from A to B as quick as I could. Some get upset at me to this day because I don't consider travel a contest.* A game of survival but not a contest. I take my time*.



No problem with that...as long as you start taking your time a lot earlier in the day so you can be at your appointment on time


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## rt3 (Aug 31, 2015)

hollydolly said:


> No problem with that...as long as you start taking your time a lot earlier in the day so you can be at your appointment on time



just go to another appointment


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## Shalimar (Aug 31, 2015)

I think it is largely a matter of common sense. Courtesy is important, as is behaving responsibly. However it can be taken to extremes, at which point OCD rears it's head. Still,  I would not wish to miss an appointment with my surgeon in the operating room. Lol.


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## Shirley (Aug 31, 2015)

Back when I was the caretaker for my DH, I invited a friend to lunch.  I told her I would pick her up about twelve-ish. I never told anybody I would be there at an exact time because I had to make sure he was cared for before I left. That sometimes took longer than others. I got to her house at 12:15. She was obviously angry. She snapped at me, "You are late! I was about to change clothes and not go!" We went but I never invited her out again.


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## AZ Jim (Aug 31, 2015)

Shirley said:


> Back when I was the caretaker for my DH, I invited a friend to lunch.  I told her I would pick her up about twelve-ish. I never told anybody I would be there at an exact time because I had to make sure he was cared for before I left. That sometimes took longer than others. I got to her house at 12:15. She was obviously angry. She snapped at me, "You are late! I was about to change clothes and not go!" We went but I never invited her out again.



There's a name for her Shirley. She was impatient and rude.  The word starts with B.


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## Shirley (Aug 31, 2015)

No, actually, she was a nice lady, just had OCD. We remained friends.


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## AZ Jim (Aug 31, 2015)

Shirley said:


> No, actually, she was a nice lady, just had OCD. We remained friends.



You are a saint...


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## Cookie (Aug 31, 2015)

Shirley, I've had the same experience with a lady who got angry at me when I met her at a subway station 10 minutes late because the train was delayed, which I explained, though she still stayed angry.  Control freaks like that don't make very good friends.


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## applecruncher (Aug 31, 2015)

Shirley said:


> Back when I was the caretaker for my DH, I invited a friend to lunch. I told her I would pick her up about twelve-ish. I never told anybody I would be there at an exact time because I had to make sure he was cared for before I left. That sometimes took longer than others. I got to her house at 12:15. She was obviously angry. She snapped at me, "You are late! I was about to change clothes and not go!" We went but I never invited her out again.



Ridiculous! She could have been more understanding.  12 ish (to me) means maybe a little before, maybe a little after, maybe even 12:30-12:45.  12:15 would be no problem.  I'm expecting a friend later this week "12 ish", depending on when she can get off work.  She's going to be doing me a favor so I'll be happy to see her anytime that afternoon!

btw the people I refer to in my OP are a lot more than 15 minutes late.


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## Shalimar (Aug 31, 2015)

OCD is a disorder, not a character flaw. For some it can be curbed with meds or therapy, for others it is a living hell.


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## Shirley (Aug 31, 2015)

Hey, AC! Nice avatar.


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## Debby (Aug 31, 2015)

Maybe you could try telling them the time to meet is 11:00 even though really you want her/him to arrive at 12:00?  Wouldn't it be Murphy's Law though for them to pick that one time to be on time !  Actually we did do that a few times with one friend we had who was chronically late and in her case it was a good idea.  She was still usually late but on time!


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## applecruncher (Aug 31, 2015)

Shirley said:


> Hey, AC! Nice avatar.



Yeah, you'll never guess where I got it! :laugh: (how _did _you make that bite??)


Oh, and when/if I'm running late I always call. I never leave people hanging, but some people do.

AND - the sister I refer to in my OP......she arrived at our brother's funeral as they were getting ready to carry the casket out.   Later we all heard some story about problems with a rental car, blah blah....whatever.


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## Shirley (Aug 31, 2015)

Wif my teeffies. :laugh:


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## applecruncher (Aug 31, 2015)

:lofl:


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## Falcon (Aug 31, 2015)

Ha Ha Shirley......Back to baby talk.   Cute.


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## Rocky (Sep 1, 2015)

Falcon said:


> I refuse to associate with anybody who doesn't reasonably adhere to the specified time.  They can stick to their own kind of people.



_Bit harsh, don't you think?  I have a long-time friend who is chronically late.  We generally would set a time for her of a half hour before the rest of us were meeting.  

But ... she is also the most good-hearted and generous with her time person you could ever hope to meet.  She worked two jobs and yet was always doing favors for elderly or infirm friends/acquaintances.  

She was, and is, my "own kind of people".

And ... I have 2 profoundly deaf children.  Both adults.  Both chronically late.  That seems to be a trait shared by many, if not most, of the deaf community.  They have responsible positions and do very well, but a sense of time flying by seems to be a bit of a problem.  

They, too, are my "own kind of people"._


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## Shalimar (Sep 1, 2015)

Rocky I agree. I also have a dear friend with a very poor sense of time. Always at least thirty minutes late. However while I was in shock over the horrific suicide of another person I cared for, this punctuality challenged person gave up a prepaid holiday in Costa Rica in order to stay with me until I was able to cope. As far as I am concerned, he has carte blanche to be late forever.


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## Kitties (Sep 1, 2015)

I'm kind of a stickler for time. I'm in a panic if I'm two minutes late for a dental appointment. Even if I have to then sit and wait.


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## Lynk (Sep 1, 2015)

I have a brother-in law who was always at least an hour late to our family's get togethers.  We always told him it started one hour earlier than it really did.  He was almost always on time .


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## tnthomas (Sep 1, 2015)

My daughter is like this.  She leads a chaotic life, I love her but having a closer relationship would necessitate a few concessions on her part, in the area of....what would you call it.....she would need to follow though with her stated intentions....a little bit more, please.   If she can't make a get together, that's O.K., BUT a *courtesy call *would sure go a long way!


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## applecruncher (Sep 1, 2015)

No one is saying that people who are always late don't have any good qualities or that they don't have other challenges. Let's not veer off on that tangent. Everyone has some kind of sad story. The point is that people who are always late and are disrespectful of other people's time are inconsiderate and selfish.

For those who want to tolerate it, fine. Good luck with all that. :shrug:


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## ndynt (Sep 1, 2015)

My son seemingly has no concept of time...I jokingly ask him if we are running on Joseph Time today.  Yet, when he has to take me to a appointment he is always punctual.  My friend is much like my son.  I no longer even think of the time he gave me.  Will be there when he gets there type thing.  I am sure the patient does not wait, prepped and under anesthesia...until he arrives.  That he is punctual for surgery


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## Cookie (Sep 1, 2015)

It is simple to label late people as being inconsiderate, disrespectful and selfish jerks for being late, but it is not always so. They might have some underlying condition or problem and their lateness is just a symptom. Not everyone functions at the same level of competency.  Or, possibly the late person might be delaying because they really don't want to be at the appointment or even see the person they have arranged to meet and feel roped into it.


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## ndynt (Sep 1, 2015)

Food for thought, Cookie


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## Shalimar (Sep 1, 2015)

I think it is often easy for people who prize organisation, punctuality, etc, a rather orderly lifestyle, to condemn and attach negative "motives" to others who may very well march to a different drummer. Different does not always mean disrespectful, or lacking in consideration, merely because persons are casual about time/tardiness. If fingers were pointed at punctual people, and labels such as intolerant, controlling, et al, were thrown about, they would understandably be upset. IMHO, I can think of a number of qualities that would upset me far more than habitual tardiness. After all consideration goes both ways. One size does not fit all.


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## mitchezz (Sep 2, 2015)

I am sometimes late for appointments and social meetings. It's not because I'm selfish or inconsiderate but I deal with an Autistic son who does not understand "We're running late, we have to hurry". No matter how late we are he still must do his routine....get up, eat breakfast, get dressed, watch a certain show etc etc at a specified time. He will not tolerate getting up earlier or skipping a step in his daily routine. Unfortunately the rest of the world will not adjust to his schedule.


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## applecruncher (Sep 5, 2015)

Well, how about this:
I missed an appt 10 yrs ago when I had a stroke and had to be taken to the hospital by paramedics. I suppose that's a lame excuse and it means I'm disrespectful, irresponsible, and inconsiderate. Excuuuuuuuuse me.


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## GeorgiaXplant (Sep 5, 2015)

applecruncher said:


> Well, how about this:
> I missed an appt 10 yrs ago when I had a stroke and had to be taken to the hospital by paramedics. I suppose that's a lame excuse and it means I'm disrespectful, irresponsible, and inconsiderate. Excuuuuuuuuse me.



I hardly think that this sort of thing is what anybody was referring to. It's people who are CHRONICALLY LATE for no reason whatsoever than that they seem to believe that THEIR time is more important and more valuable than anybody else's.

There are occasions and circumstances that just cannot be avoided. I doubt that there's any one among us who is so rigid and hidebound that they would not understand. Good grief.


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## applecruncher (Sep 5, 2015)

GeorgiaXplant said:


> *I hardly think that this sort of thing is what anybody was referring to. It's people who are CHRONICALLY LATE for no reason whatsoever than that they seem to believe that THEIR time is more important and more valuable than anybody else's.
> 
> *There are occasions and circumstances that just cannot be avoided. I doubt that there's any one among us who is so rigid and hidebound that they would not understand. Good grief.



(bolded) Yes, I know. (I created the thread.) That's exactly the point I was making in Post #34 - or trying to - and even in my opening post.
Thanks for emphasizing it.

(Post 41 was tongue-in-cheek)


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## mitchezz (Sep 5, 2015)

applecruncher said:


> Well, how about this:
> I missed an appt 10 yrs ago when I had a stroke and had to be taken to the hospital by paramedics. I suppose that's a lame excuse and it means I'm disrespectful, irresponsible, and inconsiderate. Excuuuuuuuuse me.



No, it doesn't make you rude or inconsiderate..........just makes you sarcastic.


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## applecruncher (Sep 5, 2015)

mitchezz said:


> No, it doesn't make you rude or inconsiderate..........just makes you sarcastic.



I was sarcastic before that. :shrug:


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## jujube (Sep 5, 2015)

I sort of "divorced" a friend many years ago because she would leave me waiting for her every time.  This was before cell phones so there I would wait and wait and wait and then give up.  She never had a good excuse.  I finally realized that I wasn't important enough to her for her to value my time.  Last year, I reconnected with her and we made a date for lunch.  She was very late.  A month later, I gave it another try....she was even later.  I haven't tried again.  I won't.


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## applecruncher (Sep 6, 2015)

jujube, the mother of my niece & nephew was like that, which was why we drifted.  I really enjoyed spending time with her, but seemed like there was a lot of chaos in her life.  Kids are grown and out on their own now, but I saw her last year and not much had changed.


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