# Mother's Funeral Cost?



## Patnono (Jul 22, 2019)

_When I was a young single mom my dad died. I have 8 siblings who all had jobs. No one would help pay his funeral cost. My aunt was making the payments, I thought that wasn't her responsibility. So I took over the payments, didn't Ask the balance just felt like it was the right thing to do. Well, now I'm waiting for that phone call about my mom, she's in poor health. I know there is nothing financially set up for her funeral.  I don't feel like I should help pay for her funeral?   I'm now retired. My health isn't good either. My savings is half gone, and everyone who's collecting SSI knows it doesn't pay much. My other siblings are in a better financial place than iam. Am I Wrong?    _


----------



## drifter (Jul 22, 2019)

That's one reason cremation is so popular today, the cost of dying has gotten so expensive.


----------



## Keesha (Jul 22, 2019)

drifter said:


> That's one reason cremation is so popular today, the cost of dying has gotten so expensive.


There’s your answer


----------



## Patnono (Jul 22, 2019)

I agree, the thing is my mother is a devout Catholic her wishes were that she'd be buried next to her dad. I will bring up cremation to my siblings because of the cost and see what they say?  The Catholic Church now allows cremation, a good compromise could be cremation and putting her ashes in the ground with him?


----------



## hypochondriac (Jul 22, 2019)

ive thought about this. for my own funeral i mean. can we just skip the funeral? im opting for cremation for sure.as drifter said ...the cost of dying.
by the way your parents felt no obligation to leave some money aside?


----------



## Patnono (Jul 22, 2019)

hypochondriac said:


> ive thought about this. for my own funeral i mean. can we just skip the funeral? im opting for cremation for sure.as drifter said ...the cost of dying.
> by the way your parents felt no obligation to leave some money aside?


Thanks for writing, my parents were in no position to leave any. I told my kids that I would like to be creamated so they won't feel the need to visit my grave.


----------



## Rosemarie (Jul 22, 2019)

hypochondriac said:


> ive thought about this. for my own funeral i mean. can we just skip the funeral? im opting for cremation for sure.as drifter said ...the cost of dying.
> by the way your parents felt no obligation to leave some money aside?


Yes, we all have to die. It seems very selfish not to make some preparation for our funeral instead of leaving it for others to sort out. It is possible to actually pay for a basic funeral before you die. I have set aside a sum of money which should cover the cost and my children know this, and what my wishes are.


----------



## Ken N Tx (Jul 22, 2019)

hypochondriac said:


> ive thought about this. for my own funeral i mean. can we just skip the funeral? im opting for cremation for sure.as drifter said ...the cost of dying.
> by the way your parents felt no obligation to leave some money aside?



Most people bypass a funeral and just have a memorial sometime later..


----------



## Ken N Tx (Jul 22, 2019)

My wife and I both opt for a cremation. The serving spouse will pay for the cremation and burial in my parents plot. At that time, will arrange for the other spouses costs.


----------



## Patnono (Jul 22, 2019)

Rosemarie said:


> Yes, we all have to die. It seems very selfish not to make some preparation for our funeral instead of leaving it for others to sort out. It is possible to actually pay for a basic funeral before you die. I have set aside a sum of money which should cover the cost and my children know this, and what my wishes are.


Life such as it is, not everyone can do that. My dad was mentally ill, do never worked. My mom didn't work till later in life because she had to raise 7 kids on her own. I will suggest cremation to my siblings


----------



## hypochondriac (Jul 22, 2019)

Ken N Tx said:


> Most people bypass a funeral and just have a memorial sometime later..


really?? i wasnt aware of that


----------



## HazyDavey (Jul 22, 2019)

I've had to take care of two cremation burials in our family, along with the two memorial services. One was at the church, the other memorial was at the grave site. We've got it set up when our time comes we'll be doing the same cremation burial in the family plot. To me, it's just easier all the way around and it seems a lot of folks that I've known also gone that direction.


----------



## Patnono (Jul 22, 2019)

HazyDavey said:


> I've had to take care of two cremation burials in our family, along with the two memorial services. One was at the church, the other memorial was at the grave site. We've got it set up when our time comes we'll be doing the same cremation burial in the family plot. To me, it's just easier all the way around and it seems a lot of folks that I've known also gone that direction.


That's what I've told my kids that I want. Or there's something called the Neptune Society don't Know if anybody's heard of that?  You donate you're body and nobody pays for anything.  My kids did not like that Idea. You can have a memorial service.


----------



## Marie5656 (Jul 22, 2019)

hypochondriac said:


> really?? i wasnt aware of that


This is what I did for my husband when he died in April.  Had him cremated and did his memorial a couple weeks later at the funeral home.  No fancy casket or viewing.  Still cost $3000, but that was OK.  My niece, who is my executor will do the same for me. I have money set aside to pay for it.


----------



## treeguy64 (Jul 22, 2019)

We had my alcoholic, pita mil cremated, put in a cardboard box, and buried in a prepaid plot. We did our own graveside service. Total cost: $750.


----------



## toffee (Jul 22, 2019)

In both our countries its a rip off' cremation is  the cheapest-and the ashes can be kept where ever your happiest with ' my friend lost her hubby only in his 40s..i went to visit her after the funeral - she took me upstairs to a little sitting room and he is kept  in a lovely urn on a table 
where she goes to sit and chat to him -if it helps why not' my sis does the exact same -so when they both go they are put together ..


----------



## RadishRose (Jul 22, 2019)

Pat, are you the eldest? Did your family somehow put you in charge? Maybe you should just let someone else take the initiative.


----------



## Ruth n Jersey (Jul 22, 2019)

My Grandparents bought plots and stones many years ago. Enough for generations to come. I want the simplest funeral possible. No viewing,special attire or flowers. Donations can be made to a local animal shelter.

A little off topic,but is anyone not going to be buried with their spouse? I always intended to be buried in the family plot. Hubby is welcome there also but chooses to be buried in a plot his parents bought for him. Do you find this strange and is it a common occurrence?


----------



## jujube (Jul 22, 2019)

We do cremations and memorial services later in our family.

My father's service was on the beach.  We had a bonfire and beer and shot off fireworks. Ashes scattered in the surf. Very little cost as he had a pre-paid cremation policy.

My husband's was at his favorite fish camp three weeks after he died.  We had beer and BBQ (liquid libations from Costco and the rest catered by the fish camp) and went out in a flotilla of boats to scatter his ashes at his favorite fishing spot.  Cost for cremation and one heck of a party (we had a good-sized crowd) came to less than $1500.

My sister's memorial service last year six weeks after her death was held in a meeting room in a historical building that looked like the inside of an old sailing ship. She would have loved it.  We had a family-only gathering later on their boat and then went to her favorite body of water and scattered her ashes.  We also did a memorial cruise with the boat.

My aunt's memorial service this year was at her son's beach condo two months after she died.  It was a low-key gathering of family and friends with a lot of stories told and some good food.  Ashes scattered later in the surf.

One of my grandmother's last requests to my mother was, "Don't bury me with your father!"  I think she couldn't face the prospect of having to listen to him complain for eternity.  So we didn't.  We had her name and dates chiseled on the other side of the double headstone and then scattered her ashes at the family farm where she was born. I'm sure she was much happier there.

The Spousal Equivalent's family, on the other hand, goes in for long drawn-out funeral affairs that are painful for everyone and end up with someone in debt for ages.  He wants a traditional funeral.  I said, "talk to your sons about it as I'm not going to do that".   In fact, he already has his gravestone in place next to his parents in the family cemetery.  Creeps the bejeezuts out of me to see that, as we did last week.   He had his father, sister and brother moved there from another city to the family graveyard a few years ago.  Boy, did that cost a pretty penny. 

I just want to be cremated (my last chance to have a hot, smokin' bod), be scattered in a waterfall and then everybody have a drink in my honor at some funky bar.


----------



## Aunt Bea (Jul 22, 2019)

If you do not feel that you should contribute or are able to contribute to the funeral then I think that you should stay out of it altogether and graciously accept what happens when the time comes.

Good luck to you and your family.


----------



## Keesha (Jul 22, 2019)

Patnono said:


> That's what I've told my kids that I want. Or there's something called the Neptune Society don't Know if anybody's heard of that?  You donate you're body and nobody pays for anything.  My kids did not like that Idea. You can have a memorial service.


Your kids don’t need to like it. 
It’s about YOUR wishes and what YOU can afford. 
This isn’t about them.


----------



## treeguy64 (Jul 22, 2019)

Interesting how so many seem to believe that the dead still are attached to their old bodies/ashes.  If our spirits actually exist, I can think of nothing worse than hanging out in a coffin or in a place my ashes might be stored/scattered, for eternity.  If, after I breathe my last, I find my incorporeal self floating above my lifeless body, I will instantly take off and go cruise the universe, for eternity.


----------



## Patnono (Jul 22, 2019)

toffee said:


> In both our countries its a rip off' cremation is  the cheapest-and the ashes can be kept where ever your happiest with ' my friend lost her hubby only in his 40s..i went to visit her after the funeral - she took me upstairs to a little sitting room and he is kept  in a lovely urn on a table
> where she goes to sit and chat to him -if it helps why not' my sis does the exact same -so when they both go they are put together ..
> [/QUOTE
> 
> Probably?  It only cost my sister $400 to cremate her dog.  Either way cremation is cheaper than a funeral


----------



## Knight (Jul 22, 2019)

Patnono said:


> When I was a young single mom my dad died.
> I have 8 siblings who all had jobs. No one would help pay his funeral cost. My aunt was making the payments,


 Commendable of you to take over the payments especially when supporting the cost to raise a child by yourself. Understandable that with 8 siblings putting away money for what we all know is going to happen wasn't likely. 



Patnono said:


> I agree, the thing is my mother is a devout Catholic her wishes were that she'd be buried next to her dad.


 Curious though why wouldn't your mother want to be buried next to her husband? 

As a last gift to our kids.  Prepaid cremation, the $50.00 cardboard box to cremate a person in & side by side plots translate into our kids not wondering what needs to be taken care of. They all know where the paperwork is, they know our wishes so there is no chance for the cremation to turn into a last minute emotional appeal for something more costly. Loss of a loved one isn't easy but to compound the loss by burdening them with debt too never seemed right.


----------



## hypochondriac (Jul 22, 2019)

Marie5656 said:


> This is what I did for my husband when he died in April.  Had him cremated and did his memorial a couple weeks later at the funeral home.  No fancy casket or viewing.  Still cost $3000, but that was OK.  My niece, who is my executor will do the same for me. I have money set aside to pay for it.


can we skip the memorial too?


----------



## Patnono (Jul 22, 2019)

Knight said:


> Commendable of you to take over the payments especially when supporting the cost to raise a child by yourself. Understandable that with 8 siblings putting away money for what we all know is going to happen wasn't likely.
> 
> Curious though why wouldn't your mother want to be buried next to her husband?
> 
> As a last gift to our kids.  Prepaid cremation, the $50.00 cardboard box to cremate a person in & side by side plots translate into our kids not wondering what needs to be taken care of. They all know where the paperwork is, they know our wishes so there is no chance for the cremation to turn into a last minute emotional appeal for something more costly. Loss of a loved one isn't easy but to compound the loss by burdening them with debt too never seemed right.


At the time of his death, they we're divorced.  I told my kids to cremate me so they won't have to feel guilty for not visiting my grave. My youngest daughter told me what kind of funeral she would like, I told her to start saving. Lol


----------



## Marie5656 (Jul 22, 2019)

hypochondriac said:


> can we skip the memorial too?


Yes, you can.  I did a memorial for Rick as I knew it was what he wanted. But my plan for myself is to not have one.


----------



## hypochondriac (Jul 22, 2019)

Marie5656 said:


> Yes, you can.  I did a memorial for Rick as I knew it was what he wanted. But my plan for myself is to not have one.


makes sense to me. Im hardly a pillar of the community and very much a home body. a memorial would be a waste time and money.


----------



## AZ Jim (Jul 22, 2019)

My wife and I prepaid for cremation and have used it when she passed a few months ago.  When  I go mine is also covered.


----------



## tortiecat (Jul 22, 2019)

My late hubby and I had prepaid services and it was so easy when he passed away.
He was cremated(as I will be) and as he died in Feb. we waited until the spring to
bury his urn and had a very simple service at the cemetery with family and close friends.
Then we all came back to my place to reminisce and have a few drinks!
Expect my family will do the same for me.


----------



## Patnono (Jul 22, 2019)

Marie5656 said:


> Yes, you can.  I did a memorial for Rick as I knew it was what he wanted. But my plan for myself is to not have one.



My ex-mother in law died at home, No service. You should have things as you want as long as it doesn't create a financial burden on family.


----------



## Marie5656 (Jul 22, 2019)

Patnono said:


> My ex-mother in law died at home, No service. You should have things as you want as long as it doesn't create a financial burden on family.


I have that all in place. My niece will be my executor, and after my husband died, she and I had a long talk about what my wishes are.  I have money set aside for expenses.


----------



## Olivia (Jul 22, 2019)

drifter said:


> That's one reason cremation is so popular today, the cost of dying has gotten so expensive.



Except that cremation has nothing to do with a funeral/memorial service. That's totally separate. My mom was cremated but we still had a funeral. And being cremated doesn't mean that the ashes get spread somewhere. And urns can be expensive. My mom's urn is in the military Punchbowl cemetery in the columbarium where my dad's ashes would go there. too. . I prefer for my ashes to be sprinkled in the air.  I don't care where. I'm claustrophobic. Don't want to be in some little stone niche. And I don't like the ocean either. God no.


----------



## Olivia (Jul 22, 2019)

tortiecat said:


> My late hubby and I had prepaid services and it was so easy when he passed away.
> He was cremated(as I will be) and as he died in Feb. we waited until the spring to
> bury his urn and had a very simple service at the cemetery with family and close friends.
> Then we all came back to my place to reminisce and have a few drinks!
> Expect my family will do the same for me.



That's another thing, too. People don't always realize that urns can be buried in a grave just like a coffin. That's what my friend did with her husband's urn and she periodically places flowers on his grave. It was a simple service at the  grave with each of us threwing a shovel of the grave's soil into it. And then we all went out to lunch. She expects that her urn will be buried there, too.


----------



## Butterfly (Jul 22, 2019)

Aunt Bea said:


> If you do not feel that you should contribute or are able to contribute to the funeral then I think that you should stay out of it altogether and graciously accept what happens when the time comes.
> 
> Good luck to you and your family.



I strongly agree.  Let one of them sign whatever contracts are necessary and stay out of it.  If they ask, just tell them you cannot afford to contribute and therefore are leaving the matter in their hands.  

IMHO a lot of people make far too big a deal about the size of the funeral, etc., while in the end it doesn't matter at all, and the dead certainly don't care.


----------



## terry123 (Jul 22, 2019)

Money set aside for cremation.  Will have a small memorial service.  Kids will scatter ashes at beach.  Soul leaves the body at death so no reason to spend a lot of money on casket, etc.  Very simple plans.  I had the plans made through a local funeral home for around $2000.00.  Kids would rather I have the full funeral service as they want to be able to visit the grave.  I told them that I did not see much of them in life now so I am sure they would not visit a grave site.  They would have good intentions but they are busy now and it will not get better when I die. It is well with my soul and that's all that matters.


----------



## Knight (Jul 23, 2019)

Marie5656 said:


> I have that all in place. My niece will be my executor, and after my husband died, she and I had a long talk about what my wishes are.  I have money set aside for expenses.


Good planning


----------



## Knight (Jul 23, 2019)

deleted duplicate reply


----------



## fuzzybuddy (Jul 23, 2019)

It doesn't  sound like you've talked this over with your brothers & sisters. Maybe it would be better to say something now, before emotions get in the way.


----------



## fmdog44 (Jul 26, 2019)

I never understood the ceremonies attached to death. In the end there is a stone over a box filled with bones. Why is that sacred? I was raised to be very pragmatic and live that way. Isn't it bad enough to lose a loved one much less visit the grave and weep over and over again. When does the sorrow and grieving stop? Last, why do people talk to grave markers?


----------



## Knight (Jul 26, 2019)

fmdog44 said:


> Last, why do people talk to grave markers?


Maybe just in case their loved one returns from the dead to explain what happens after death. Imagine the amount of money that would be made if recorded.


----------



## GreenSky (Aug 1, 2019)

Rosemarie said:


> Yes, we all have to die. It seems very selfish not to make some preparation for our funeral instead of leaving it for others to sort out. It is possible to actually pay for a basic funeral before you die. I have set aside a sum of money which should cover the cost and my children know this, and what my wishes are.


100% agree.  When my former wife's mother died of terminal cancer (they knew she only had a year left) they then arranged the funeral.  I thought it was the most selfish act I'd ever experienced.  Plan your own funeral and if you don't have the money then get a pre-paid cremation.

Don't burden your family with the last memory one of having to plan the final goodbye.  The grief is enough.

Rick


----------



## win231 (Aug 1, 2019)

treeguy64 said:


> We had my alcoholic, pita mil cremated, put in a cardboard box, and buried in a prepaid plot. We did our own graveside service. Total cost: $750.


Aw, C'mon.  Tell us how ya really feel.


----------



## win231 (Aug 1, 2019)

I think high-cost funerals are ridiculous.  Funeral directors know they can take advantage of people's grief & they also know many people think how much they spend indicates how much they cared about the deceased.
Both of my parents pre-paid for their funerals.  When my sister & I went to the funeral home for the arrangements, she didn't like the casket my dad chose; it was a simple wooden box & she wanted to buy a more-expensive one.
I convinced her that changing it would be disrespecting our dad's wishes because that's what he wanted.  She usually doesn't listen to anyone, but she finally realized that what SHE wanted was not what mattered; it was what HE wanted.


----------



## Suzy623 (Oct 18, 2019)

When my sister died two months ago, we had a plot but not a funeral plan. The funeral ended up costing over $16,000. I have two plots and two funerals paid for. Just need the headstone. Also have a plot in the family area at a different cemetery. Thinking of selling the two plots and plans I have and using the money to pre-pay my funeral expenses at the family cemetery. And I'll just have my ex-husband cremated and his ashes spread over our 100 acre place that's somewhere in the middle of nowhere close to a little community near a town in Egypt. (sorry, bad joke!) Sounds fair to me.


----------



## Patnono (Oct 18, 2019)

Suzy623 said:


> When my sister died two months ago, we had a plot but not a funeral plan. The funeral ended up costing over $16,000. I have two plots and two funerals paid for. Just need the headstone. Also have a plot in the family area at a different cemetery. Thinking of selling the two plots and plans I have and using the money to pre-pay my funeral expenses at the family cemetery. And I'll just have my ex-husband cremated and his ashes spread over our 100 acre place that's somewhere in the middle of nowhere close to a little community near a town in Egypt. (sorry, bad joke!) Sounds fair to me.



A couple of my siblings know how I feel. My mother had made her feelings Clear. She is a devout Catholic who wants to be buried.  So will see?


----------



## Keesha (Oct 19, 2019)

treeguy64 said:


> Interesting how so many seem to believe that the dead still are attached to their old bodies/ashes.  If our spirits actually exist, I can think of nothing worse than hanging out in a coffin or in a place my ashes might be stored/scattered, for eternity.  If, after I breathe my last, I find my incorporeal self floating above my lifeless body, I will instantly take off and go cruise the universe, for eternity.


Great post treeguy. 
I most certainly know ,without a doubt,  that we all have spirits that soar. I , for one , won’t be hanging around in a box next to my dead body. No chance.


----------



## StarSong (Oct 19, 2019)

Suzy623 said:


> When my sister died two months ago, we had a plot but not a funeral plan. *The funeral ended up costing over $16,000*. I have two plots and two funerals paid for. Just need the headstone. Also have a plot in the family area at a different cemetery. Thinking of selling the two plots and plans I have and using the money to pre-pay my funeral expenses at the family cemetery. And I'll just have my ex-husband cremated and his ashes spread over our 100 acre place that's somewhere in the middle of nowhere close to a little community near a town in Egypt. (sorry, bad joke!) Sounds fair to me.



$16,000 for a funeral and the plot was already paid for?  WOW!  That's crazy expensive!


----------



## Suzy623 (Oct 19, 2019)

StarSong said:


> $16,000 for a funeral and the plot was already paid for?  WOW!  That's crazy expensive!


I agree. That was purchasing the coffin and the headstone too. And the cemetery was behind the funeral home so no escorts were needed.


----------



## Butterfly (Oct 19, 2019)

I would a lot rather have my son enjoy the money than pay it for a funeral, and I've told him so.    I didn't work hard to make money to have it (figuratively speaking) buried in the ground.


----------



## Phantom (Oct 19, 2019)

Private service at funeral home Followed by private cremation


----------



## win231 (Oct 19, 2019)

I know a retired attorney who made a really good living representing funeral homes.  The only fraud bigger than them is medical billing.
He explained it this way:  People are sold an expensive coffin, it looks really pretty at the graveside service, then everybody leaves.
Later, the deceased is moved - to a much-cheaper coffin & the pricey one is put back in the showroom & sold again & again.  Well....who's gonna know....it's pretty rare for a body to be exhumed.


----------



## StarSong (Oct 20, 2019)

win231 said:


> I know a retired attorney who made a really good living representing funeral homes.  The only fraud bigger than them is medical billing.
> He explained it this way:  People are sold an expensive coffin, it looks really pretty at the graveside service, then everybody leaves.
> Later, the deceased is moved - to a much-cheaper coffin & the pricey one is put back in the showroom & sold again & again.  Well....who's gonna know....it's pretty rare for a body to be exhumed.



I've rarely been to a graveside service where the coffin wasn't placed in a vault, lowered into the ground, and had mourners each drop a shovel of dirt over it.  

Not saying the your attorney friend's story hasn't happened, but it's likely to be exceedingly rare. They'd have to have several people in on the secret -and when more than one person knows something, it's not a secret anymore...


----------



## drifter (Oct 20, 2019)

@Patnono, Had relatives who were cremated then ashes buried at the foot of spouse's grave,
on their  own, complying with everyone's wishes.


----------



## Sassycakes (Oct 20, 2019)

*When we pass my Husband and I both want to be cremated . We made sure we have insurance that will cover the expenses. My sister had her husband cremated and she has his ashes in an urn at home. My brother was cremated and so was his wife and he requested that his children sprinkle their ashes in the Ocean, because both of them loved going on cruises. *


----------



## win231 (Oct 20, 2019)

StarSong said:


> I've rarely been to a graveside service where the coffin wasn't placed in a vault, lowered into the ground, and had mourners each drop a shovel of dirt over it.
> 
> Not saying the your attorney friend's story hasn't happened, but it's likely to be exceedingly rare. They'd have to have several people in on the secret -and when more than one person knows something, it's not a secret anymore...


Doesn't matter if mourners drop a shovel of dirt over it.  Obviously, they make the switch after everyone leaves.  Even if mourners stay until the coffin is completely buried, they simply bring the tractor back.  If necessary, they'll wait until the place closes.  Only 1 or 2 people have to know about it & even if they're caught, the fine is much smaller than the profit.
And, it's not rare.


----------



## StarSong (Oct 20, 2019)

My beloved father-in-law passed a few days ago.  He wanted to be buried and owned a plot so we are, of course, honoring his wishes. 

$7000 for a moderate casket, the required-by-law concrete vault, and minimum services like transport to the cemetery, hearse and interment (no viewing, embalming, mortuary room, service or officiant). We are handling the graveside service. His headstone will undoubtedly run another $1500 - $2000. 

The cost of burying someone is beyond ridiculous. He left ample assets to cover this, but that chunk of change would be a big burden on families that aren't as fortunate.


----------



## StarSong (Oct 20, 2019)

win231 said:


> Doesn't matter if mourners drop a shovel of dirt over it.  Obviously, they make the switch after everyone leaves.  Even if mourners stay until the coffin is completely buried, they simply bring the tractor back.  If necessary, they'll wait until the place closes.  Only 1 or 2 people have to know about it & even if they're caught, the fine is much smaller than the profit.
> And, it's not rare.


Wait a minute.  

So both the mortuary AND the cemetery are in on this? The grave diggers bring the tractor back and dig out the casket - the last several inches by hand so as not to damage the casket, rerope and pully the casket somehow and hoist it out of the grave, put it back in the hearse, take the body back to the mortuary, put it in a different casket, bring it back to the cemetery and get the grave-diggers to rebury it? 

Wow. That's a lot of work and a lot of opportunity for a low paid grave-digger or random onlooker wandering around a cemetery to pose some questions, and possibly notify authorities. 

Google seems to think this is rare. All I could come up with is a 2003 case in Calgary. 

Methinks your friend is prone to exaggeration.


----------



## sunnyac (Oct 26, 2019)

I've seen where you can buy a casket on Amazon, BJs etc and it can be delivered to funeral home.  Not sure what savings, if any, and whether any push back from funeral home.  Has anyone ever heard of someone doing this?


----------



## OneEyedDiva (Nov 5, 2019)

StarSong said:


> My beloved father-in-law passed a few days ago.  He wanted to be buried and owned a plot so we are, of course, honoring his wishes.
> 
> $7000 for a moderate casket, the required-by-law concrete vault, and minimum services like transport to the cemetery, hearse and interment (no viewing, embalming, mortuary room, service or officiant). We are handling the graveside service. His headstone will undoubtedly run another $1500 - $2000.
> 
> The cost of burying someone is beyond ridiculous. He left ample assets to cover this, but that chunk of change would be a big burden on families that aren't as fortunate.


So sorry for your loss StarSong!


----------



## OneEyedDiva (Nov 5, 2019)

Patnono...just getting around to replying to this thread.  My condolences in the loss of your mother.  Funeral costs just keep rising and caskets are part of the reason. They can be bought wholesale (Costco's sells caskets) but wouldn't do my family any good because of the expedience we Muslims are to be buried. The simple pine box is recommended for us since Muslim funerals are to be simple and not cause a strain on the family's finances. And we are supposed to go in the ground.

I have two insurance policies, more than enough to cover my funeral expenses and I finished paying for my burial plot, including opening and closing fees last year.  Your mother's final expenses shouldn't have caused a strain on your finances.  I agree that those who make and have more should contribute accordingly.


----------



## gamboolman (Dec 8, 2019)

Just wrote this over on Retirement section afew minutes ago, see linked post below.

As I said in the linked post below, we were very surprised at the total cost(s) to get everything took care of and paid for ahead of time.  

We did not get a service at Funeral Home or Church - only graveside service and our coffins is on the lower end of the choices, no flowers prepaid for.  We have bought our policies for both of with a Funeral home,  our plots and have bought and sat our headstone including the memorial company coming to to do final engraving on the headstone.  

The total costs for both of us for all the prepaid preparations was ~$31K.   

So we understand how come folks opt for Cremation. 

As I said in the post below, we are fortunate to be able to afford this cost.  This way, our children have no choices to make and we have done everything possible to eliminate any potential arguments or hard feelings and no costs they will have to bear.

https://www.seniorforums.com/threads/how-prepared-are-you-for-your-final-plans.38151/post-1193225


----------

