# The feeling of being home, is a powerful instinct. Where do you find home?



## Paco Dennis (Jan 18, 2022)

In my youth I felt totally at home with my Mother, Father, and two Brothers. Then my Mom died when I was 13 and ever since then I have tried to find that kind of secure home. While contemplating this I thought of Homing Pigeons. "The longest homing pigeon flight ever recorded was 7,200 miles, from Arras, France, to Saigon, Vietnam. The flight took 24 days." (Hal2022) Animals, fish, insects, and all species apparently need a secure place to be. I realized this morning that I have habit of making up places/people in my mind that represent that feeling of being home. I return to them often, but they are often times unsatisfactory. 

For instance...I have used an identity of being a very good guitar player to feel secure or an accomplished cabinet maker. I have used my girl friends, marriage partners, and my best friends. I used the identity of being a Bodhisattva ( weird ) to feel "grounded".  I can only venture so far from my security blankets and then I need to return to them. I am starting to get attracted to learning to be "homeless". (psychologically). 

It is said that relocating your home is the second most stressful experience for us...the first being the loss of a loved one. Our need to feel secure and at "home" is built in. In the book "Johnathan Livingston Seagull" the way he finally felt secure was soaring freely in the air. But we are not seagulls.  

Where do you find home?


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## hollydolly (Jan 18, 2022)

Deep question... I had a very transient childhood.. and also moved home  a lot in my first marriage due to being a forces wife..and he being relocated often with the Royal Navy .. so I never learned to settle anywhere..

Despite living in this house  now for decades, I've never  liked it, and never felt like it was somewhere I looked forward to returning to when I'm away from it, especially when I'm overseas  .. so in answer to your question I would say, I dont have a feeling of 'home''.. anywhere


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## Rah-Rah (Jan 18, 2022)

I have grown up in the same State my entire life, but have moved to a different county in that State once settled into marriage. I have always lived in a more of a country town than I city town. Growing up I would always find myself walking through the woods, going to the creek or pond and climbing trees. I suppose that is why I love nature so much and being in it even now to this day. My childhood home also has many memories involved in it as I spent my first 20 years of my life there. My boyfriend and future husband first met my parents in that home and many family holidays. 

Once married as I said my husband were in a transition period as we were really young and my husband was starting medical school after his bachelors degree. So we lived with my in laws for a period of time as well as back with my parents as well in the home I grew up in until we eventually moved into a small apartment. That apartment I would not really consider home, but once my husband did finish medical school and become an Anesthesiologist our financial situation changed and we got a home in a different county which we raised our two daughters in and love the area and the community. It is in close proximity to many nature trails , but also has easy access to many grocery stores and other things. It also has a nice golf club nearby which my husband loves. Our home is also not very far from our aging parents so that is a major plus and our oldest daughter also has recently purchased a new home with her husband in the same county. So we have them near which means my future grandbabies(twins) will be close.  My youngest daughter who will most likely also be leaving the nest by this Summer as her boyfriend is planning on asking her to marry her sometime next month(Valentines Day I believe) . He has already spoken to my husband about it. She will then most likely move in with him.  This home also has many memories, especially those involving the raising of our daughters, the pitching the tent in the backyard of camp nights outside, campfires in the backyard with the girls, taking Prom photos at our home, waking up the morning of my oldest daughters wedding day in our home and knowing it is her last day there. Just tons of memories.


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## Ruth n Jersey (Jan 18, 2022)

Thoughts of the home I grew up in always give me secure memories. 
Our first home after being married also give me a sense of security and happiness.
 The home we built and where we still live is bittersweet. Loved ones are now gone, we don't have the friends and family visit anymore and I have the feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop.
When I was in my teens my parents and grandparents bought  plots in our old cemetery. My grandma was the one who first showed me the plots and headstone they had purchased. 
At that time I was mortified and actually walked away. I didn't want to even look at it.
Now when I go to put flowers on the graves I get the greatest sense of security and peacefulness while I'm there. That will be my home for ever and ever.


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## JustBonee (Jan 18, 2022)

I   couldn't wait to move out of the house that was 'Home'  for over 40 years   ....  my husband and I raised our children there,    and life was good during that time.     But all good things come to an end as they say.

After the kids were all grown and gone,  and my husband died,   and then our labrador retriever, Boo  died,  I knew I had to leave too. 
It was just a big empty house at that point.

I still have my Bichon,  Lil'Bear,   and we moved to our present apartment which now is 'Home'.    I feel  comfortable,   cozy and secure here.


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## Gary O' (Jan 18, 2022)

Paco Dennis said:


> Where do you find home?


Pretty much where me and my lady is.....and nobody else

Latest 'home' was our mountain cabin

Getting in from the cold to a hot bowl of homemade soup and the warmth of the wood stove on an ice blown day really did it for me

wrote some stuff about it


Someone, on another site, posed the question; ‘What is your definition of a cabin?’

My reply;

_For me?

*It's more than even Kinkaid could replicate.
It's warmer than the warmest of wood stoves.
It has more charisma than the grandest of orators,
more appeal than the most opulent edifice built.

Yet it's simpler than the simplest of abodes.
...all the while doing its modest magic

Turning a mason jar to a drinking glass,
a tuna can to an ash tray,
a wooden apple box to a cabinet,
a burlap bag to a slip cover,
favorite old clothes to attire of choice,
a stranger to an acquaintance,
an acquaintance to a friend,
a wife to a mistress,

a life....to living.


And for me,

it's now home.*_


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## RadishRose (Jan 18, 2022)

Although I feel secure and at home here, where I live, there's still that special feeling of "home" in my memories of childhood...with my parents. 

It's a feeling of nostalgia that becomes quite strong at times.


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## Ronni (Jan 18, 2022)

Interesting question.

When I was married to my ex and our kids Werw younger we moved around a lot. He had such wanderlust, and we were always moving house. We rented a lot because we couldn’t afford to buy, and there was one time, one period, where we moved every six months for four years. I got to where I never unpacked anything but the essentials because I knew we would move again. It was horrible. 

I have lamented to my kids, and told them the guilt I felt at never giving them much stability, no home that they could recall fondly where they grew up because there were so many. It warmed my heart when they told me that home was wherever I was  and that they didn’t feel deprived.

Until Ron and I got married, I’d never felt much of a sense of home since I left my parents home at 16. This home that he and I have created gives me a deep sense of permanence, a sense of belonging, that I treasure.


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## caroln (Jan 18, 2022)

I've lived in 15 different houses but always consider this one home, it's where I grew up:


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## Mandee (Jan 18, 2022)

In my teens I was 'homeless' for a while and I'll never forget what that was like.

Recently I moved into a new house, circumstances were such that I had to take what I
could get and this house is not one that I would have chosen if I'd had more freedom of choice.

However, despite the drawbacks - this house is a home that too many people are not fortunate
enough to have - so I'm both blessed and thankful.


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## David777 (Jan 18, 2022)

Growing up went to 11 schools over 13 years so never knew the feeling of long term home roots. As adult, settled down to be content with current old 4 decades residence mostly because too much an unpleasant task moving belongings once one accumulates too much stuff.  Don't have a "home" but rather a frugal comfortable hideout.


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## feywon (Jan 18, 2022)

This is going to be more disorganized than most of my remarks--because i'm rushing to get off and get some chores done and because some powerful emotions stirred.

As a child i would lay on our dock in rural Florida and gaze at the stars, Sometimes my eyes would leak--with awe, wonder and a feeling i didn't have a name for till Mom & Dad seperated and Mom took me to NJ suburbs where not nearly as many stars visible. Then i realized what i felt looking at the night sky was homesickness.

Throughout my life i could create a 'nest' for myself most anywhere, having some shelter was important but 'home' always seemed unattainable. i didn't have really strong need to be in specific places with specific people till i had kids. But again if we had books, each other and animal companions--i was happy--as close to home as i could get.

These days this old dusty house is 'home'. My books, memorabilia and current furry companions are here as well as my daughter, i sleep here except if visiting sons in another state or after my eye surgery. The land around it too, The Milky Way has prominent place in the sky. i feel like it's my 'neighbor' and i'm as close to home as i can get in this body.


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## Jules (Jan 18, 2022)

It’s not a home but the region/province that I grew up in that keeps calling me back.  I know it won’t be the same and neither am I.


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## Jeni (Jan 18, 2022)

As people in my life passed ..... for example my grandparents ... their home was sold....... I knew logically my mom could not keep our house and theirs but was sad to see it go....
But guess what the memories are alive even as house is gone.... "home" is with people ....  

When my mom passed,  due to incredible bad decisions the house was basically gone bad upkeep and she was in over her head in debt.... 
I have not been there in a few years maybe the new owners changed... I know I have.   
My siblings are mad and angry the family home is gone because they think it was something it was not.

I have felt at home with my grown  kids/ spouse...... even when we were on vacation in a rented house... 
The where can be temporary ... 
hopefully the who is for a long long time


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## Sachet (Jan 18, 2022)

My head is my only house, unless it rains.
  - Don Van Vleit


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## Ronni (Jan 18, 2022)

@Paco Dennis I've read your post several times attempting to interpret what you're getting at because I don't think you're just, or only, referring to a physical location when you talk about or ask about home.  "Where do you find home?" is your question, and to me that speaks less to a geographical location or abode than it does to a state of mind.  

From THAT perspective (and granted, I may be reading way too much into your words!) I find home in my husband, in my strong, close and loving relationship with my children, in my dancing, and with my dogs. And to a lesser but still very enjoyable degree to the creativity I bring to the decorating of our home, and the artistry and crafts I employ to make it feel warm and inviting.   In all of these things I am confident and secure, have a sense of purpose and kinship, and feel grounded and foundational.


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## hollydolly (Jan 18, 2022)

Jules said:


> It’s not a home but the region/province that I grew up in that keeps calling me back.  I know it won’t be the same and neither am I.


yes I get that..the constant draw to go back to my country where I was raised and where  I left at just 19... but it's changed, I know this.. and so have I.. and they do say ''never go back'''


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## officerripley (Jan 18, 2022)

hollydolly said:


> Deep question... I had a very transient childhood.. and also moved home  a lot in my first marriage due to being a forces wife..and he being relocated often with the Royal Navy .. so I never learned to settle anywhere..
> 
> Despite living in this house  now for decades, I've never  liked it, and never felt like it was somewhere I looked forward to returning to when I'm away from it, especially when I'm overseas  .. so in answer to your question I would say, I dont have a feeling of 'home''.. anywhere


I can relate to this. Up 'till the age of 8, I lived in a house, neighborhood, section of the state that I loved with a mother I loved. Then Dad decided he needed a new wife, kicked her out, and moved us to a different town, a different neighborhood that was shabby even when it was new, and a series of stepmothers none of whom I loved like my mother. Haven't really liked anywhere else I've lived since, not really.

Now I feel the most at home, at peace, and just love an area of the coast about 5 hours away from here which no way could we afford to live there, plus now that we're old it would take us too far away from what little family we have left.

So, yeah, "home"? Some of us don't luck out to have that, not for very long anyway.


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## IrisSenior (Jan 18, 2022)

I am home now.


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## helenbacque (Jan 18, 2022)

Home is where my stuff is.


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## Devi (Jan 18, 2022)

Home is where my husband (and my stuff) are.


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## Gaer (Jan 18, 2022)

Nope.  Don't feel at home on this Earth.  I guess Alaska was the closest.
Always have had the feeling I belonged at another place or another world.


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## palides2021 (Jan 18, 2022)

Rah-Rah said:


> I have grown up in the same State my entire life, but have moved to a different county in that State once settled into marriage. I have always lived in a more of a country town than I city town. Growing up I would always find myself walking through the woods, going to the creek or pond and climbing trees. I suppose that is why I love nature so much and being in it even now to this day. My childhood home also has many memories involved in it as I spent my first 20 years of my life there. My boyfriend and future husband first met my parents in that home and many family holidays.
> 
> Once married as I said my husband were in a transition period as we were really young and my husband was starting medical school after his bachelors degree. So we lived with my in laws for a period of time as well as back with my parents as well in the home I grew up in until we eventually moved into a small apartment. That apartment I would not really consider home, but once my husband did finish medical school and become an Anesthesiologist our financial situation changed and we got a home in a different county which we raised our two daughters in and love the area and the community. It is in close proximity to many nature trails , but also has easy access to many grocery stores and other things. It also has a nice golf club nearby which my husband loves. Our home is also not very far from our aging parents so that is a major plus and our oldest daughter also has recently purchased a new home with her husband in the same county. So we have them near which means my future grandbabies(twins) will be close.  My youngest daughter who will most likely also be leaving the nest by this Summer as her boyfriend is planning on asking her to marry her sometime next month(Valentines Day I believe) . He has already spoken to my husband about it. She will then most likely move in with him.  This home also has many memories, especially those involving the raising of our daughters, the pitching the tent in the backyard of camp nights outside, campfires in the backyard with the girls, taking Prom photos at our home, waking up the morning of my oldest daughters wedding day in our home and knowing it is her last day there. Just tons of memories.


What a lovely story about feeling at home! I can feel the love emanating from you as you wrote this! Glad you experienced it!


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## palides2021 (Jan 18, 2022)

caroln said:


> I've lived in 15 different houses but always consider this one home, it's where I grew up:
> View attachment 204278


@caroln, thanks for sharing a photo of your home! I can feel the charm and loving touch that is evident in the house.


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## palides2021 (Jan 18, 2022)

Gary O' said:


> Pretty much where me and my lady is.....and nobody else
> 
> Latest 'home' was our mountain cabin
> 
> ...


Wow! Thanks for sharing this! Priceless!


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## bingo (Jan 18, 2022)

wherever  my husband's  at


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## Irwin (Jan 18, 2022)

I daydream sometimes about feeling at home somewhere, somehow. My nightdreams cause me to wake up covered with sweat.


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## Rah-Rah (Jan 18, 2022)

palides2021 said:


> What a lovely story about feeling at home! I can feel the love emanating from you as you wrote this! Glad you experienced it!


Thank You so much. I have been extremely lucky to have my life filled with so much love from my parents/grandparents to my husband and his parents and my wonderful two daughters and now my oldest daughters husband and my youngest daughters boyfriend. Like I said so many wonderful memories that I have been blessed with over the years involving every one of those special people in my life.


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## officerripley (Jan 18, 2022)

Irwin said:


> I daydream sometimes about feeling at home somewhere, somehow. My nightdreams cause me to wake up covered with sweat.


I know, don't you hate that? I really hate that kind of dream; usually I'm 20 again and have a much better personality and am much better looking and so happy and then I wake up and crash back to reality, ugh.


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## palides2021 (Jan 18, 2022)

I used to travel a lot when I was young, for many reasons, and lived in different locations. It wasn't until I married and settled, that I started to be more connected to my house. Before, a home was where my parents lived, where we were raised up. I have fond memories of that time. 

Now, fast forward to today, and I can honestly say that my  house has become my home. Each room carries memories in it, like well-read books, a piano, family photos, paintings, comfortable furniture, icons, and scented candles;  echoes of my late husband's laughter could be heard in my mind coming from the dining room. Several dinner parties, given in the past, still have left a mark on me. Gifts from family members remind me of their love. This home shelters me from the common elements. I feel warm and cozy inside my home when it rains or snows outside. Even when my home is "misbehaving" and something needs repairing, I do it in a loving manner.

I play my music in my home, and paint, and write. I watch movies, and exercise in it. I cook delicious meals that I share with my son when he visits. This home shelters me from people who can be mean, and I feel safe and protected inside its walls. Years ago, if someone had told me this, I would not have believed it. I always wondered how people could become so attached to their homes. Now I know the reason. Having to stay home due to the pandemic really has shown me the value of my home. 

My home is an extension of me. It has my identity stamped all over it. Years ago, when I was studying psychology, a psychologist told me: "If you really want to get to know a person, visit their home."


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## Murrmurr (Jan 18, 2022)

It isn't at all complicated for me; home is where I live. Doesn't matter what it looks like from the outside, what's in it, or where it is.


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## Shero (Jan 18, 2022)

Home for me is where the heart is, I know that is  a cliché, buit it is true. My heart is with my children, husband and close relations and friends.

Coming in a good second is the sea


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## Chet (Jan 18, 2022)

I was overseas in the service for 3 straight years without coming home once, and when it was time to get discharged, my parents picked me up at the base and drove me home. To get to our town you had to go up a hill and then down, giving the view of a beautiful green valley in late summer and the home that I left in the middle of it. It never looked so beautiful to me, and when I travel that way, I am still reminded of that day.


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## john19485 (Jan 18, 2022)

This is my Home now , we downsized, but always miss the old home place, in Mobile. Alabama


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## Warrigal (Jan 18, 2022)

feywon said:


> This is going to be more disorganized than most of my remarks--because i'm rushing to get off and get some chores done and because some powerful emotions stirred.
> 
> As a child i would lay on our dock in rural Florida and gaze at the stars, Sometimes my eyes would leak--with awe, wonder and a feeling i didn't have a name for till Mom & Dad seperated and Mom took me to NJ suburbs where not nearly as many stars visible. Then i realized what i felt looking at the night sky was homesickness.
> 
> ...


Interesting post Feywon.

In my mid forties Hubby and I took long service leave and left Australia on an around the world plane ticket. This was the first time we had left the kids at home - one had just started Uni and the other was newly married. The trip allowed us to travel one way around the world breaking the trip wherever we chose to look around, hire cars, visit friends. We decided to visit north Queensland, Hawaii, the US (western states and New York), Canada, UK, Paris, Rome, Singapore and back to Australia with a side trip north to the Pilbara in Western Australia. Last stop was home, in Sydney. All in all, we were away for 5 months.

I did not feel at home in US but I did feel like a welcome guest. I felt more at home in Canada but was starting to feel a bit homesick and wishing that the plane was carrying me back to Sydney, but I put this feeling aside because I was literally on a trip of a lifetime that by then had taken in the Great Barrier Reef, the active volcano (Big Island, Hawaii) The Grand Canyon and Death Valley and the Rocky Mountains in Canada. In Vancouver we visited the zoo and I lingered with the kangaroos and talked to them like an idiot because they were such a powerful reminder of home.

I thought I would feel very much at home in UK because our ancestors had mostly come from Devon and Dorset but was very much surprised to find that I was as much an alien there as I was in US. I very much wanted to gaze at the stars but the sky was never clear, day or night. For me, home is where I can see the Southern Cross turn over. This constellation is for me my compass and timepiece at night.

I began to question what is means to be an Australian and what an Australian actually is. I couldn't come up with a neat definition because not everyone is like me, with British ancestry. It has been said that you can pick Australian overseas by the way we slouch and lean on walls. Our accent is a giveaway most of the time but in US we were sometimes mistaken for English. We could recognise other Australians by looking at the men's shorts. Stubbies at that time had a notch at the bottom that was pretty unique.

This odyssey taught me that while I am not sure what home might be in the future I would always be a person of the Southern Hemisphere, preferably living in the land of the marsupials and gum trees and in the Harbour City of Sydney. Every time I leave Australia and return I look out the window of the plane to catch a glimpse of the harbour and the arch bridge and I get a thrill of belonging.

All of our travels are behind us now and we are content to be living in our house in the suburbs. We have lived here since the cottage was built in 1966 and I am resolved to keep living here for as long as we possibly can. It is our home in the more narrow sense of the word, It is ours, everything in it is ours, the yard, the trees and the garden are ours and even the wild birds, the insects and the spiders are in some way ours. It is only a few kilometres from our respective childhood homes and so many memories of loved ones from the generation that raised us are reflected in this house.

This is home as it is today


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## Irwin (Jan 18, 2022)

Here's an oldie but a goodie, featuring the late, great Clarence White on guitar...


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## gamboolman (Jan 18, 2022)

As many others have said,  home is where ever you and your loved ones are.  In our case, ms gamboolgal, myself and the kids were all over  the  country.

We had  to list out  all the  moves since we married in 1982.   Since I  worked in the Oilpatch  for 43  year - we  went  to the jobs and were transferred all over  the world.

We  moved house and home 24 times  the first  39  year of  our marriage before I retired effective 1-Feb-21.  All over the  Gulf Coast from West Texas, East  Texas, Gulf Coast  of Texas, Arkansas, Louisiana,  Alabama, Equatorial Guinea in  West Africa and Nigeria  in Africa.

I probably spent a  good accrued total of 7  to 8 years Offshore working 28/28 or long hitches  and  early on in my career I was  on some remote locations on land  that we lived in a  Camp.  One year I spent 9 of 12  months  Offshore Africa.

Home for me and us is being  together.  Being with ms gamboolgal and  time with the kids was and is  precious to me.

I do  regret being gone working and away so much while the kids was growing  up.  But I was making a  living to take care of them, but I do regret being gone for most of there time growing  up.  Even more  so,  because about 2 months  before I  was originally going to retire - our son, Jeffrey, passed away unexpectedly in  our home  in  Texas while we were in Eket, Nigeria.  It was  totally unexpected and  the Autopsy revealed he had Heart Disease that we did not know about.   He passed in his sleep at age 34 at our home in Texas. 
We worked one more year after his passing  as we were shock and the honest truth is we were more comfortable at our housing in Africa as we dealt with the loss and grieving of losing Jeff.
I then retired effective 1-Feb-21.
No parent  should bury a child - it is  not natural or right.

We just hit our 40th Wedding Anniversary and we might  have one more move in us....maybe?  We might move to Water Front Property and  build a Lake House or out in  the rural country and build  a home  -  maybe.... But we are in no rush as we have a nice place here in Spring /  The Woodlands near  Houston, Texas.

gamboolman....

Lifes A Dance And You Learn As You Go...


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## officerripley (Jan 18, 2022)

gamboolman said:


> As many others have said,  home is where ever you and your loved ones are.  In our case, ms gamboolgal, myself and the kids were all over  the  country.
> 
> We had  to list out  all the  moves since we married in 1982.   Since I  worked in the Oilpatch  for 43  year - we  went  to the jobs and were transferred all over  the world.
> 
> ...


So sorry about your son, gamboolman.


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## Sassycakes (Jan 18, 2022)

bingo said:


> wherever  my husband's  at


You said exactly what I was going to say. I have to add my children and grandchildren in my house also. Then I am really content.


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## dseag2 (Jan 18, 2022)

I grew up in a ranch-style house in Tampa, FL.  It was on a canal, across from a golf course, and I had so many special memories there.  I had frequently thought about buying it, even after my parents sold it.  When I went back to visit in 2009, it had been torn down and a gauche McMansion had been built that barely fit in the lot.  Everything happens for a reason.



We moved to Dallas 16 years ago and we love it here. This is my home.


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## Irwin (Jan 18, 2022)

Home is where the food is.


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## Paco Dennis (Jan 18, 2022)

Ronni said:


> @Paco Dennis I've read your post several times attempting to interpret what you're getting at because I don't think you're just, or only, referring to a physical location when you talk about or ask about home.  "Where do you find home?" is your question, and to me that speaks less to a geographical location or abode than it does to a state of mind.
> 
> From THAT perspective (and granted, I may be reading way too much into your words!) I find home in my husband, in my strong, close and loving relationship with my children, in my dancing, and with my dogs. And to a lesser but still very enjoyable degree to the creativity I bring to the decorating of our home, and the artistry and crafts I employ to make it feel warm and inviting.   In all of these things I am confident and secure, have a sense of purpose and kinship, and feel grounded and foundational.


I have thoroughly enjoyed all the posts in this thread...thank you for sharing. Like I said in the OP, no matter what I turn to help me feel secure/safe/home always vanishes, and when I act to retrieve it, I am often times disappointed. At any moment our world can be shattered, and all security seems hopeless. So, yes, you have guessed correctly. This issue for me is one in which I will never be able to have closure with.


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## Warrigal (Jan 18, 2022)

Irwin said:


> Home is where the food is.


My mother's family moved a lot around NSW because her father was in the postal service as postmaster in different country towns. Her mother always said that a man's home is where he hangs his hat. Women want more than that and it can be hard having to pack up regularly, especially when the family keeps growing. My mum had four sisters and one brother quite often the move was made by coastal steamer. Other times by steam train.


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## feywon (Jan 19, 2022)

dseag2 said:


> I grew up in a ranch-style house in Tampa, FL.  It was on a canal, across from a golf course, and I had so many special memories there.  I had frequently thought about buying it, even after my parents sold it.  When I went back to visit in 2009, it had been torn down and a gauche McMansion had been built that barely fit in the lot.  Everything happens for a reason.
> 
> View attachment 204383
> 
> We moved to Dallas 16 years ago and we love it here. This is my home.


I've seen so many places i lived, not just the building but whole area had  change radically when happened to be in the area again years later. Most becoming more congested.

Dad spent last 25-30 yrs of his life living on canal front property in Tampa. After he died one of my older sisters whose name he'd added to the deed after his last wife's death sold it --for lot less than she could have gotten for it because the buyers said they weren't going to change it just make repairs.

A few years later she was going thru on way to her Waimauma (sp?) High School reunion and took a look, sure enough they'd taken Dad's house down-a gauche McMansion not the words she used but what the replacement sounded like.  While i understood her disappointment that they'd conned her, i never understood why she'd wanted a buyer to not change it.

It wasn't like we grew up there. Yeah, Dad died there (physically in the house, my then #3 DH, daughter and i cared for him his last 6 weeks of life), but he would have hated the idea of it being given any significance.  He was cremated and ashes scattered at sea where he scattered his last wife's a couple of years before because he didn't like the idea of cemetaries and people weeping over tombstones.

.


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## Sliverfox (Jan 19, 2022)

Hubby & I have lived in this part of NW PA all our lives.

This old house that we remodeled 37 years ago is HOME for us.
Raised  two    wonderful sons here,, watched them  grow & mature.
Send them out into  the  cruel world with a good work ethic.


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## dobielvr (Jan 19, 2022)

Right where I'm at today.  I live in my family home (our 2nd one).  We moved here when I was going in to 9th grade.
Left when I married, but always came back home.

So many memories...there is my mother's furniture and mine together here.  Pictures of our many parties and BBQs in every drawer and on the fridge.

My nephew is so fond of this house and all that it represents from his years growing up and being around his grandparents, that he will be inheriting it from me.  Love that!


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## funsearcher! (Jan 19, 2022)

My home is wherever I am. I carry my home in my heart. 
The house where I grew up burned down and my stepdad's house was torn down.
I can go back to see my brothers in their homes where they have lived for many years, but I have lived in many houses, and never was super attached to them. I do miss the home where my ex's family had been for 3 generations, and the memories from there. That was the place I grew the deepest roots. I miss that old house and the yard with all the perennials.


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## katlupe (Jan 19, 2022)

My home is where I live presently. Just a small studio apartment, but it is all me. This is the first time I have lived alone, no child, no husband and no parents or brother. Just me. I have made it exactly the way I want it. I know it sounds strange but I have lived in much more pricey homes with everything I wanted..........but, I am happiest here than I have ever been in my whole life. It is true, home is where the heart is.


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## officerripley (Jan 19, 2022)

katlupe said:


> My home is where I live presently. Just a small studio apartment, but it is all me. This is the first time I have lived alone, no child, no husband and no parents or brother. Just me. I have made it exactly the way I want it. I know it sounds strange but I have lived in much more pricey homes with everything I wanted..........but, I am happiest here than I have ever been in my whole life. It is true, home is where the heart is.


Sounds wonderful.


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## Autumn72 (Jan 23, 2022)

katlupe said:


> My home is where I live presently. Just a small studio apartment, but it is all me. This is the first time I have lived alone, no child, no husband and no parents or brother. Just me. I have made it exactly the way I want it. I know it sounds strange but I have lived in much more pricey homes with everything I wanted..........but, I am happiest here than I have ever been in my whole life. It is true, home is where the heart is.


I too live in a studio and I was told by my grandson's father, that he could not believe why nobody has ever rescued me from it. To this day he refuses to allow me to see my grandson. He said he was moving to Mississippi, not true.


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## fancicoffee13 (Jan 23, 2022)

Paco Dennis said:


> In my youth I felt totally at home with my Mother, Father, and two Brothers. Then my Mom died when I was 13 and ever since then I have tried to find that kind of secure home. While contemplating this I thought of Homing Pigeons. "The longest homing pigeon flight ever recorded was 7,200 miles, from Arras, France, to Saigon, Vietnam. The flight took 24 days." (Hal2022) Animals, fish, insects, and all species apparently need a secure place to be. I realized this morning that I have habit of making up places/people in my mind that represent that feeling of being home. I return to them often, but they are often times unsatisfactory.
> 
> For instance...I have used an identity of being a very good guitar player to feel secure or an accomplished cabinet maker. I have used my girl friends, marriage partners, and my best friends. I used the identity of being a Bodhisattva ( weird ) to feel "grounded".  I can only venture so far from my security blankets and then I need to return to them. I am starting to get attracted to learning to be "homeless". (psychologically).
> 
> ...


With my brothers and their families, with my daughter and her family, among my friends at the senior center.


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