# Is "Love At FirsT Sight" Rational/Dangerous?



## fmdog44 (Mar 30, 2018)

I can understand it when applied to art, pets, cars, places or whatever but with people is it healthy? It happened to me when I was 27 and lasted for about 8-9 months and ended after a year and a half. It happened to my dad and he married her(mom) and loved here until death. So, what works for some does not for others. For me I always felt "this is not right" because I don't know her and the more I did know her the less the love light shined until the fire went out. Now being much older the concept seems downright crazy. It is like people that change in response to a single event. That never happened to me. Despite life's ups and downs I maintained the same course. I was set in my life when I was a child and I believe it is rare but for me it is what happened plain and simple.


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## Capt Lightning (Mar 30, 2018)

Interesting one... I met a girl when I was 17 and we both 'fell' for each other, but it didn't last.  Too young I suppose and we drifted apart.
However a couple of years later I was the 'victim' of a blind date and the instant I saw her, I "knew" she was the real one.
That was almost 50 years ago and in September we will have been married 45 years.  On reflection, perhaps what I really thought was , "she looks great, I really want to get to know her better".  But then, I'm an old romantic and I like to think that it was love at first sight - for me anyway.

I would also say that single events in my past have had lasting effects on how I respond to people and things.


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## C'est Moi (Mar 30, 2018)

I don't believe in love at first sight.   Perhaps "lust" or whatever, but it takes time to fall in love.   You have to get to know someone to truly love them.


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## Butterfly (Mar 30, 2018)

C'est Moi said:


> I don't believe in love at first sight.   Perhaps "lust" or whatever, but it takes time to fall in love.   You have to get to know someone to truly love them.



I agree. I certainly believe in lust at first sight, love, not so much -- not the real love that endures.


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## Keesha (Mar 30, 2018)

Yes I do think love at first sight can happen but I don’t think it’s just a physical attraction. It’s almost like a déjà vu of recognizing a soul mate somewhere deep inside. It’s more than just a mental acknowledgment and it’s hard to explain. 
Apparently my man knew the instant that he saw me that I was the one for him and it wasn’t merely a ****** attraction. I wish I could say the same about him but the feelings weren’t mutual. For me, I had to get to know him better but it’s been almost 30 years now and we still are together. 

In summary yes I do believe love at first sight can happen but I think it happens more to men than women according to this article. Men are more visual creatures than women, for the most part but many of them seem to just intuitively know. 

Do I think it’s dangerous ? Not if it’s true love as there would be respect and understanding along with patience. With lust at first sight, I do think it could be dangerous since that’s coming from a primal instinct area and if one isn’t mentally stable, it could a mistake. 

https://www.google.ca/amp/s/www.psy...-and-keep/201801/is-love-first-sight-real?amp


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## jujube (Mar 30, 2018)

I don't think I've ever experienced it.  My late husband said it was love at first sight for him, but it took me two dates and some months of long-distance courtship before I fell in love.  My dad always swore he fell in love with my mother at first sight.  My mother was so busy being "the belle of the USO" that it probably took her a bit longer to reciprocate.  

I've definitely felt lust at first sight, though.


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## squatting dog (Mar 30, 2018)

I know it can happen. From the first moment I saw her, I knew she was the one. It wasn't lust at first site, it was true love. Later while talking, she told me that she felt the same when she first laid eye's on me. It was something I had never felt before or since about any other woman. We knew each other for all of 3 weeks and decided to marry. That was 46 years and we're still going strong.  :love_heart:


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## SeaBreeze (Mar 30, 2018)

I believe in like at first sight, the love then develops.  My husband and I liked each other at first sight and then the love grew, over 40 years later, it's still going strong.


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## ProsperosDaughter (Mar 31, 2018)

I do not believe in romantic love so I definitely do not believe in love at first sight. When you are young it is hormones; Mother Natures way of propagating the species. There is lust at first sight. People are attracted to each other and remain together due to varying degrees of codependency. He needs someone to cook and wash his socks and she needs someone to pay the bills.
Of course this is MY opinion.


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## Gary O' (Mar 31, 2018)

Rational?
sounds dull

Dangerous?
Sounds, well, dangerous

Love at first sight
Seems for the young, twenty somethings

Now, it'd be more like love at fourth or fifth squint 

Still, if two can't take their eyes off each other, who can knock or question that, or painstakingly ponder what 'that' is...at any age

Now, if the love at first sight is one sided, the stalking word makes an appearance

I made a poster about it once


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## GeorgiaXplant (Mar 31, 2018)

My only experience with love at first sight was when I was in 7th grade. We were all but joined at the hip until I was in the 11th grade. When his grandmother and my parents raised Cain because we wanted to get engaged, he quit college and joined the Marines. We each married other people, had families, divorced, and found each other again when I was 48 and he was 50. We married.

"It's easy to love a stranger." If it's not real, the more you know them, the less you like them!


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## C'est Moi (Mar 31, 2018)

ProsperosDaughter said:


> I do not believe in romantic love so I definitely do not believe in love at first sight. When you are young it is hormones; Mother Natures way of propagating the species. There is lust at first sight. People are attracted to each other and remain together due to varying degrees of codependency. He needs someone to cook and wash his socks and she needs someone to pay the bills.
> Of course this is MY opinion.



I definitely DO believe in romantic love, and am grateful for it.   But love at first sight is wishful thinking.   I maintain that you can't truly love a person without knowing who they are.   (Exceptions would have been my tiny newborn sons. :love_heart 

I had a career and never "needed" anyone to pay my bills.   Luckily I did find someone to love and share my life, though.  I can't imagine my life without him.


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## Victor (Mar 31, 2018)

I don't know if it is rational, certainly not logical. But not dangerous with some exceptions, yes. As if the Other is a dangerous person or someone who will make your life hellish or whatever.

Love at first sight is real---we can quibble about the meaning of love.
It has happened with me two times --only she was already taken or married
 Nothing I could do.


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## SeaBreeze (Mar 31, 2018)

ProsperosDaughter said:


> I do not believe in romantic love so I definitely do not believe in love at first sight. When you are young it is hormones; Mother Natures way of propagating the species. There is lust at first sight. People are attracted to each other and remain together due to varying degrees of codependency. He needs someone to cook and wash his socks and she needs someone to pay the bills.
> Of course this is MY opinion.



I _definitely _believe in romantic love, that isn't always about hormones and sex.  Also disagree about just staying together to have a live in maid or sugar daddy to pay the bills, that would be a terrible way to live.  If that were the case, I'd remain alone.  I guess our points of view vary due to our personal life experiences and those of others throughout life that we've observed.  Understandable the differences of opinions on so many things in life.


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## Keesha (Mar 31, 2018)

Gary O' said:


> Rational?
> sounds dull
> 
> Dangerous?
> ...



Also considered ‘fatal attraction.’.... ( that’s what I was referring to)lol


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## Sassycakes (Apr 6, 2018)

I Believe in love at first sight. I met my husband when I was 15 and he was 16. The moment he walked over to me I fell in love. He broke up with his girlfriend that day and I broke up with my boyfriend the next day. That was in 1961. We married in 1966 and 52 yrs later I love him more and more.


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## DaveA (Apr 7, 2018)

I'd have to agree with you, Sassycakes, at least in my case and yours.  Met my (now) wife in 1953.  I didn't have a girl to break up with but she broke up with her then boyfriend.  We married in '56 and here we are today - -62 years later.

Sadly, from what I read on different forums, that may be the exception to the rule.  I read many more tales of separations, divorces, and general bitterness.  We were just kids, as you were, so I credit our long marriages to (at least in my case) blind luck and good fortune or both.  There are times that you have to work at it a bit more than others but it's wonderful over the long haul.


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