# Depression Problems



## Ruthanne (May 20, 2017)

Does anyone have problems with depression they would rather not discuss in public?  We have a discussion group here if you are interested here is the link:

https://www.seniorforums.com/group.php?groupid=20


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## helenbacque (May 21, 2017)

Not a problem for me but I have a family member that has depression problems.  It is heartbreaking and frightening because there is no apparent reason for it and she won't see a doctor.


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## Falcon (May 21, 2017)

I'm never depressed.  I don't allow myself to get that way.  Life's too short as it is.


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## Ruthanne (May 22, 2017)

helenbacque said:


> Not a problem for me but I have a family member that has depression problems.  It is heartbreaking and frightening because there is no apparent reason for it and she won't see a doctor.


That's very sad indeed.  Does she even acknowledge she has a problem?



Falcon said:


> I'm never depressed.  I don't allow myself to get that way.  Life's too short as it is.


It's good you have that choice not to be depressed.  Some others via their brain chemistry don't have the choice.  Often they need medicine and therapy.


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## oldman (May 23, 2017)

I became depressed shortly after being forced into retirement due to the FAA's mandatory retirement age. I understand why they do it, but I don't necessarily agree with it.


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## nvtribefan (May 23, 2017)

Falcon said:


> I'm never depressed.  I don't allow myself to get that way.  Life's too short as it is.



It's great that you have never suffered from depression, but it is not a choice, it is an illness.


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## Anomaly 73 (May 23, 2017)

oldman said:


> I became depressed shortly after being forced into retirement due to the FAA's mandatory retirement age. I understand why they do it, but I don't necessarily agree with it.



Technology, particularly that of guidance mechanisms, is forcing change at a pace unknown before. Pilots, like drivers of 18 wheelers, are being replaced by computerized systems requiring no wages or care beyond maintenance. Repairmen have become replacers of robotically built modules with less skill and value to the economic culture. We are becoming obsolete and since many of us *define* ourselves by our work...it can become stressful.

While involved in a bout of PTSD, I was clinically depressed for some months. Try to engage yourself in something *different* every day. Stick with your routine but...improvise. I found that small challenges can slowly bring you around. You hardly notice the daily variation but one day you find yourself smiling over a trifling victory and you know _somethings_ different. Depression will lift in time.


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## oldman (May 23, 2017)

I have heard and tried all of the theories of getting rid of or reducing the results of depression. However, when you have done something that you absolutely love, it is difficult to suddenly stop doing it. It's like being in a race car going 200 mph and all of a sudden having to stop and walk away and never doing it again. I know that's a bad example of what i am trying to say, but it would have been better if I could have been weaned off of flying than just suddenly quit. 

Flying was almost like an addiction. I never did not want to go to work. Did I just write "work?" It wasn't work. It was a pleasure to get into the cockpit four days a week and fly those magnificent planes.


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## Deucemoi (May 24, 2017)

I have a lot of time on my hands. Since there is no immediate family, very few friends here and with the loss of my cat of 15 years I have little to do but sit. At times I think of the cat and what the two of us did over the years and how it was at the end. I get so depressed I can hardly stand it. Yes I know people say get another cat, but it is not the same and never will be. I know where he is buried and I have a lot of pictures of him and even a sound recording of him meowing and purring. I have put these things away trying to get beyond it all. I often have to go on a short drive after these feelings. It helps a bit but it all returns after a few days. Noone to talk to or do something with. I have tried chat rooms but most of the people on them have other things on their minds and are of no help. I have talked to VA counselors but it is not like they were here.
I miss that cat. I would wash the dishes and he would be waiting, watching. I come home after being gone for several hours and he would be there. I could pet him, hold him and let him lick my nose. I would scratch his ears and brush his fur. The cat I have now wants no part of this. I miss my big kitty!!


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## Ruthanne (May 24, 2017)

Deucemoi said:


> I have a lot of time on my hands. Since there is no immediate family, very few friends here and with the loss of my cat of 15 years I have little to do but sit. At times I think of the cat and what the two of us did over the years and how it was at the end. I get so depressed I can hardly stand it. Yes I know people say get another cat, but it is not the same and never will be. I know where he is buried and I have a lot of pictures of him and even a sound recording of him meowing and purring. I have put these things away trying to get beyond it all. I often have to go on a short drive after these feelings. It helps a bit but it all returns after a few days. Noone to talk to or do something with. I have tried chat rooms but most of the people on them have other things on their minds and are of no help. I have talked to VA counselors but it is not like they were here.
> I miss that cat. I would wash the dishes and he would be waiting, watching. I come home after being gone for several hours and he would be there. I could pet him, hold him and let him lick my nose. I would scratch his ears and brush his fur. The cat I have now wants no part of this. I miss my big kitty!!


I'm so sorry.  That is quite a loss for you.  We have some new people in the depression problems group if you wish to join and let out what you feel.  I know what it is like to lose a beloved pet family friend; I just lost my favorite bird about 4 weeks ago.  My heart still aches. I have a new bird but my heart still aches.  I believe I know how you must feel.  Take good care my friend.


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## Ruthanne (May 24, 2017)

oldman said:


> I have heard and tried all of the theories of getting rid of or reducing the results of depression. However, when you have done something that you absolutely love, it is difficult to suddenly stop doing it. It's like being in a race car going 200 mph and all of a sudden having to stop and walk away and never doing it again. I know that's a bad example of what i am trying to say, but it would have been better if I could have been weaned off of flying than just suddenly quit.
> 
> Flying was almost like an addiction. I never did not want to go to work. Did I just write "work?" It wasn't work. It was a pleasure to get into the cockpit four days a week and fly those magnificent planes.


It is quite a loss going from doing something you love to retired living.  I'm sorry it makes you feel  sad and I hope that better times will come for you.


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## Shalimar (May 24, 2017)

nvtribefan said:


> It's great that you have never suffered from depression, but it is not a choice, it is an illness.


That is so true. This does not apply to Falcon, who is cool, but many people confuse depression with weakness/lack of character. Bad enough to be depressed, without feeling it is a character failing.


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## Butterfly (May 25, 2017)

Deucemoi said:


> I have a lot of time on my hands. Since there is no immediate family, very few friends here and with the loss of my cat of 15 years I have little to do but sit. At times I think of the cat and what the two of us did over the years and how it was at the end. I get so depressed I can hardly stand it. Yes I know people say get another cat, but it is not the same and never will be. I know where he is buried and I have a lot of pictures of him and even a sound recording of him meowing and purring. I have put these things away trying to get beyond it all. I often have to go on a short drive after these feelings. It helps a bit but it all returns after a few days. Noone to talk to or do something with. I have tried chat rooms but most of the people on them have other things on their minds and are of no help. I have talked to VA counselors but it is not like they were here.
> I miss that cat. I would wash the dishes and he would be waiting, watching. I come home after being gone for several hours and he would be there. I could pet him, hold him and let him lick my nose. I would scratch his ears and brush his fur. The cat I have now wants no part of this. I miss my big kitty!!



 Deucemoi, another kitty would never take the place of your old kitty in your heart, but he would find his own place there.  My vet always says giving a home to a new pet is an enormous gift to a homeless pet, and saves it's life.  The new pet can also save your life by bringing joy back into it.    I know this to be true from my own experience.  If you're unsure about commitment, most shelters will now let you foster a new pet for a couple weeks as a trial run to see how it fits with you.  This is what I did with my present dog Bonnie -- and within a day or so I knew she had found her new home.

Try giving the gift of home to a new kitty -- you and he will be grateful to each other for it.


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## Wintermint (May 25, 2017)

I had a pretty serious bout of depression following my early retirement. My father died not too long after that and life felt empty and unhappy and I could not get interested in anything. I went to my doctor and he prescribed an anti-depressant of course. That was a few years ago now. 

I no longer take the tablets, though I think they helped. What helped an awful lot more was exercise. I know it is a bit of a cliché - it is something one hears so much one tends to think, 'yes..but I'm different' etc. But going to the gym several times a week, lots of dogs walking and so on have made a huge difference.


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## Anomaly 73 (May 25, 2017)

Shalimar said:


> *That is so true*. This does not apply to Falcon, who is cool, but many people confuse depression with weakness/lack of character. Bad enough to be depressed, without feeling it is a character failing.



You were referring to *some* depression as an unavoidable illness. I agree with your further reasoning...ultimately, my *will* provided the means for release from it. I think circumstances can *trigger* clinical depression...but they don't *maintain* it.


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## Deucemoi (May 25, 2017)

Butterfly; you did not read my post. I said I have another cat. She was a stray who once lived where I did and I let her in. She knew immediately the house and went straight into the bedroom. She is of the mind to be the only cat and even though my cat tolerated her she was not friendly. I befriended another cat, a stray also, long haired norwegian. I let her in nights and out during the day. When I moved into town I took the 'only cat'. I brought the longhair cat in also during the winter mainly to rid her of the worms she had. I returned her to the outdoors and I go there occasionally and feed her. She comes to me when I call but she will not come to any other person. She does get fed by others there so I have quit feeding her. These two cats do not get along is the reason I returned the long hair. 
The 'only cat' is not a friendly one, she does not want to be held, or petted and she reminds me of my cat. She has been indoors for to long I think and probably would not survive if I put her back out.
Still I think of my cat, at times it makes me so depressed I sit and cry.


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## Shalimar (May 25, 2017)

Anomaly 73 said:


> You were referring to *some* depression as an unavoidable illness. I agree with your further reasoning...ultimately, my *will* provided the means for release from it. I think circumstances can *trigger* clinical depression...but they don't *maintain* it.


I think that may depend on the circumstances. I applaud your success in overcoming your depression. However, PTSD can be insidious. An extreme form of traumatic depression which can last a lifetime. For some constant, for others such as myself, episodic.


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## Deucemoi (May 25, 2017)

One of my biggest gripes that leads to some depression. Of all the places I have lived and all the 'friends' I knew, noone ever came to my house for coffee and chit chat... NEVER!
My brother came once to see my new apartment but never came again and I would visit him weekly.
Mom brought the youngest brother when I was at a shore station but that was only to see the aircraft fly.
Dad only came to stay when he was visiting from out of state.
My old high school bud only comes when he wants something or to fix his computer.
Others brought their computers for me to fix but never asked any questions about what was wrong or wanted to learn something.

I would have liked it greatly if someone had come just to yak!


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## Deucemoi (May 25, 2017)

The military (navy) was something most people who have never been in the service or were close to someone in the service ever understood. It is something hard to describe. If you liked it you and enjoyed it you had this feeling of belonging. You had a duty, the life was controlled, regimented on a daily basis. Your life is not yours, the military controls it. Mom never did understand that. Dad didnt care less and my kid brother wanted nothing more to do with it after he got out. Many only wanted to do their time and get out. 
Even today most people who never served dont want to hear about it. It is like something foreign, alien or unnatural. They just nod their heads and turn away. Okay so you served, big deal. When you are gone away for a long time and come home you have to do the friend thing all over again, renew old start anew. Like the saying I guess, out of sight out of mind.
While in Vietnam I was never actively engaged in combat, but every day we went up river loaded full of ammunition it worked at you. Was today the day someone fired at us and hit the ammuniton we had stacked on the decks, the holds were full. Many times we would have over 200 tons of it on board.


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## Shalimar (May 25, 2017)

Deucemoi said:


> One of my biggest gripes that leads to some depression. Of all the places I have lived and all the 'friends' I knew, noone ever came to my house for coffee and chit chat... NEVER!
> My brother came once to see my new apartment but never came again and I would visit him weekly.
> Mom brought the youngest brother when I was at a shore station but that was only to see the aircraft fly.
> Dad only came to stay when he was visiting from out of state.
> ...


I have known many people who seemed fixated on their needs, often to the exclusion of other's. Even if they mean no harm, but simply lack empathy, it can hurt. To the best of my ability, I have weeded out the people in my life who seemed allergic or oblivious to reciprocity. How can you have a relationship with those who don't relate?


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## helenbacque (May 25, 2017)

Deucemoi, I was an adult during the Vietnam War and remember the general atmosphere in this country during that time.  There was a lot of animosity toward the war itself that - very unfairly - was carried over to the service men who fought in it who were merely doing their job.  That war was a politician's war from beginning to end.  It was an embarrassment to many Americans and many of us deal with embarrassments by pretending it didn't happen. Proper acknowledgment of your patriotic and honorable participation might prolong or intensify the embarrassment.  I'm sorry that you and your fellow service men were treated so unfairly upon your return.   I commend you for serving your country and hope that you are eventually able to put the experience and its effects on your life behind you.

I dislike war immensely but realize the world will probably never be without it as it seems to be the nature of man.  I personally believe that the last truly righteous war (or conflict as some like to call them) that the United States is or was involved in was World War II.  

Good luck and may you find peace, Deucemoi


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## Butterfly (May 25, 2017)

Deucemoi said:


> One of my biggest gripes that leads to some depression. Of all the places I have lived and all the 'friends' I knew, noone ever came to my house for coffee and chit chat... NEVER!
> My brother came once to see my new apartment but never came again and I would visit him weekly.
> Mom brought the youngest brother when I was at a shore station but that was only to see the aircraft fly.
> Dad only came to stay when he was visiting from out of state.
> ...



Here, at least, the idea of visiting for coffee and chit chat has faded away and almost no one does it any more.  It's all facebook and all that, or meeting at a coffee shop or some such.  People don't visit much any more.  It's OK with me, as I do not like unexpected visitors.


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## Anomaly 73 (May 26, 2017)

Butterfly said:


> Here, at least, the idea of visiting for coffee and chit chat has faded away and almost no one does it any more.  It's all facebook and all that, or meeting at a coffee shop or some such.  People don't visit much any more.  It's OK with me, as I do not like unexpected visitors.



I agree. We prefer seclusion at home and we go out to socialize.


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## Ruthanne (May 26, 2017)

For those of you who have joined the group and others who are interested in the group here is the link:

https://www.seniorforums.com/group.php?groupid=20


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## hauntedtexan (May 26, 2017)

wrote this in very dark times: lucky I made it through....


Shut the Door
　
Dreams are hard
to get just right
so different by day
than deep in the night.
　
When the failures started
they didn't seem bad
When  they didn't stop growin
my mind went mad
　
Then my madness led 
to a place of grace
where dreams disappear
without a trace
　
no longer a need
to find a goal
I began to dig
a deep dark hole
　
but my hole is safe
and warm to me
no evil dreams
are tempting me
　
Is my glass half full
or is my ass just dyin
used to do good
now I'm so sick of tryin
　
If you'll just stay away
don't need to be fixed
I don't play well with others
and won't be in the mix.
　
So tell no-one you found me
don't bother to call
I've got just enough mortar
to finish my wall.
　
No people that care
enough anymore
You're the last soul to see me
Now, please.......... shut the door............


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## Camper6 (Sep 14, 2018)

I became depressed when my wife died.

I thought it would be a matter of time and it would leave.  But its not that simple.


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## Keesha (Sep 14, 2018)

Camper6 said:


> I became depressed when my wife died.
> 
> I thought it would be a matter of time and it would leave.  But its not that simple.




So very sorry for your loss Camper. That would keep me depressed also


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## Camper6 (Sep 14, 2018)

Keesha said:


> So very sorry for your loss Camper. That would keep me depressed also



Waking up in the middle of the night is bad.  

Hard to get back to sleep and you get up tired.


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## Keesha (Sep 14, 2018)

Camper6 said:


> Waking up in the middle of the night is bad.
> 
> Hard to get back to sleep and you get up tired.



Yes I’m sure that must be difficult. There are times I go through stages like this. 
Do you get up and read or watch tv and do you take anything for it?


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## Camper6 (Sep 14, 2018)

Keesha said:


> Yes I’m sure that must be difficult. There are times I go through stages like this.
> Do you get up and read or watch tv and do you take anything for it?



I get up and try to get a boring show on television to put me back to sleep.

But then when you don't have to go to work, sometimes I just get up and go for a walk.

My doc did give me a prescription for a mild sedative, but it doesn't last very long.

There is no real solution to insomnia as far as I am concerned.  You can't just reset the brain.


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## rgp (Sep 14, 2018)

Butterfly said:


> Here, at least, the idea of visiting for coffee and chit chat has faded away and almost no one does it any more.  It's all facebook and all that, or meeting at a coffee shop or some such.  People don't visit much any more.  It's OK with me, as I do not like unexpected visitors.



 I agree, and I do not understand the folks that seem to be insulted when you asked them to call first.  I'm single, live alone. Hell I could be in the shower, other bathroom visiting, napping ? ....Why is it an insult to ask for a heads up?

A few years back, I was in the middle of one of those bathroom visits when a friend stopped by. I couldn't answer the door. When I finally did, he seemed all incensed when I said , man wish you'd call first.....I hate 'rushing' a body function.

Another time a friend stopped by, I had just returned to get tools , helping another friend repair his garage door. The friend stopping by got 'pissed' when I didn't have time to socialize.

I don't get it?


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## Victor (Sep 15, 2018)

The link does not work. It states invalid unspecified group.


FYI


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## Butterfly (Sep 15, 2018)

rgp said:


> I agree, and I do not understand the folks that seem to be insulted when you asked them to call first.  I'm single, live alone. Hell I could be in the shower, other bathroom visiting, napping ? ....Why is it an insult to ask for a heads up?
> 
> A few years back, I was in the middle of one of those bathroom visits when a friend stopped by. I couldn't answer the door. When I finally did, he seemed all incensed when I said , man wish you'd call first.....I hate 'rushing' a body function.
> 
> ...



I don't get it, either, rgp.  I used to have an acquaintance who would get all huffy if she stopped by and I didn't answer the door -- and especially so if my car was here, like I have some kind of moral obligation to answer the door just because someone knocks. I don't.


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## jaminhealth (Sep 15, 2018)

Life is full of up and down Situational issues that can bring us down..

I went thru a 10 yr clinical depression from 1991 to 2002 and it was a thyroid that the MD's could not "fix"...finally my long time D.O. who worked on my back for years, called in for Armour, no labs, nadda, and those 10 yrs of depression lifted...that was 2002.

Thyroid is so missed as today's MD's and the medical schools think we are all numbers and not symptoms....before labs, doctors worked with Armour and patient's symptoms.  Labs can be a good guideline, but it's the symptoms folks, read up on symptoms of HypoT...depression is right at the top of the lists.

Also Vit D deficiency can be a major depression culprit and more.


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## Keesha (Sep 15, 2018)

Camper6 said:


> I get up and try to get a boring show on television to put me back to sleep.
> 
> But then when you don't have to go to work, sometimes I just get up and go for a walk.
> 
> ...


Good idea. I usually get up and watch tv also or try and read until I get sleepy. 
Celestial Seasinings make a nice herbal tea called Sleepy Time that helps somewhat.
Now I either take a canna cookie or this sleep supplement by Webber.  
If I get up and walk, it has the opposite effect. When my adrenaline gets circulating I might as well forget sleep. Lol


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## lillies (Apr 15, 2019)

[FONT=&quot]What I've learnt in my 50 something years is that seniors are just given a handful of pills and forgotten about too often. I really believe that proper nutrition makes a huge difference especially in depression for senior citizens and they are often on regulated diets that don't include all the necessary nutrients. Although I'm not a huge fan of alternative medicine but shilajit is scientifically proven to reduce depression symptoms without using synthetic chemicals. But besides all that having people in whom you can confide helps a lot in treating depression.
[/FONT]


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## Ruthanne (Apr 15, 2019)

Victor said:


> The link does not work. It states invalid unspecified group.
> 
> 
> FYI


The group is no longer available.  There was no activity in it after a short while.  It is gone now.


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## Ruthanne (Apr 15, 2019)

lillies said:


> What I've learnt in my 50 something years is that seniors are just given a handful of pills and forgotten about too often. I really believe that proper nutrition makes a huge difference especially in depression for senior citizens and they are often on regulated diets that don't include all the necessary nutrients. Although I'm not a huge fan of alternative medicine but shilajit is scientifically proven to reduce depression symptoms without using synthetic chemicals. But besides all that having people in whom you can confide helps a lot in treating depression.


Yes, I agree that nutrition plays a big role in how we feel.  For many anyhow, including myself, antidepressants don't work or they cause me so much anxiety so I can't take them.  I'm working on my nutrition day by day and have been for some time now.  I take a multi vitamin, too.  What is shilajit?


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## Victor (Apr 15, 2019)

*The link does not work. Invalid*


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## AZ Jim (Apr 15, 2019)

Google lists dozens.   https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-1-d&q=depression+discussion+groups


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## jaminhealth (Apr 15, 2019)

For me, and 10 yrs of clinical depression, after *menopause, it was a sluggish thyroid that doctors and endos didn't help for those 10 yrs*  Thyroid is very complex in getting it right and optimal and many are just given anti depressants like candy.   Many doctors fail in this important area the Thyroid.


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## Aneeda72 (Apr 15, 2019)

Deucemoi,

Are you in the United States?  If not some of what I say will not apply.

My husband was a combat marine in viet nam.  He did not see a great deal of action, but he he saw enough.  When he got back he was spit on etc.  You know the drill.  But President Bush and Obama changed all that, with the new wars.  Encouraging the country to honor our vets.  About damn time.

I noticed some vets wearing hats.  I told him to get a hat!  Finally he did.  OMG, what a difference a hat makes.  Buy one with your branch, and put what metals you've earned on it.  Wear it everywhere you go in public and be ready to chat!  Ex military come up and talk about where they where and what they did in viet nam and elsewhere.

Civilians come up, shake his hand, and thank him for his service.  He's been given gift cards to buy lunch.  He's had people pay for his/our lunch when we go out.  Lots of people apologize for the way he was treated way back when.  Notably one young man came up to him and apologized for the way his parents must have treated him.

It has made all the difference for him.  He worked in supply for the most part, outside Da Nang, keeping his unit going as there was no officer available.  He also handled the effects of the deceased.  He was one of the guys who walked behind and supported the tanks.  Once, while riding on the outside of a tank, it was hit and he was blown off.

Two years after he came back, he was awarded the Navy Achievement Mental.  The highest non-combat mental awarded in a combat zone.  Get a hat.  I served in the Army, a supply clerk as well.

As for the other, it's the me generation now.  Younger people think mostly of themselves and talk through social media.  The art of conversation is being lost.  I will reply more later, husband wants to go out.


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## Ruthanne (Apr 15, 2019)

Victor said:


> *The link does not work. Invalid*


I know~it's gone.


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## lillies (Apr 16, 2019)

Ruthanne said:


> Yes, I agree that nutrition plays a big role in how we feel.  For many anyhow, including myself, antidepressants don't work or they cause me so much anxiety so I can't take them.  I'm working on my nutrition day by day and have been for some time now.  I take a multi vitamin, too.  What is shilajit?



Shilajit, aka mumijo, a natural substance found mainly in the Himalayas, which has formed for centuries by the gradual decomposition of certain plants by the action of microorganisms. You can check this study https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3296184/ and this one stating it's safe https://purblack.com/pet-ate-purblack-shilajit-safe-animals/.


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## Rosemarie (Apr 16, 2019)

Depression has different causes, some depression is medical and can only be controlled with drugs. There is the modern term 'mental health', which is not always used appropriately. Life is full of unpleasant events and it's perfectly normal to feel thoroughly miserable at times. In fact, there is something wrong with you if you DON'T feel upset when something bad happens. To describe this as a mental health problem is not accurate at all, and suggests that a person has a problem when actually they don't. We all get depressed sometimes and often it's perfectly justified. It's when we feel down but there is no obvious reason that we should start to be concerned.


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## jaminhealth (Apr 16, 2019)

Situational Depression = Ups and Downs of Life.   We get thru them for the most part.  Some take drugs, some drink alcohol and some just suck it up.  There are MANY supports today one can find from a Dr. Google search.

Clinical Depression =  What I went thru for 10 yrs due to a sluggish thyroid that needed "fed" and the symptom I had for these years was depression.  No A/D drugs were the answer, believe me.   There are over 60 symptoms of a low thyroid.


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## Ruthanne (Apr 17, 2019)

lillies said:


> Shilajit, aka mumijo, a natural substance found mainly in the Himalayas, which has formed for centuries by the gradual decomposition of certain plants by the action of microorganisms. You can check this study https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3296184/ and this one stating it's safe https://purblack.com/pet-ate-purblack-shilajit-safe-animals/.


Thank you.


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## SilentSoul (Feb 22, 2021)

AZ Jim said:


> Google lists dozens.   https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-1-d&q=depression+discussion+groups


_My only issue with these sites is that many do not have any counselors present. These folks are left to wallow in their own self pity with no assistance. _


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## peramangkelder (Feb 22, 2021)

There is a disorder akin to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder PTSD and I suffer with it
It is called Cumulative Post Traumatic Stress Disorder CPTSD
*'Cumulative PTSD* occurs due to the buildup of traumatic events over time or on a daily basis
The symptoms and signs are mostly identical to PTSD but because of this buildup of events that
creates a major difference in recognizing and treating this condition'
I have learned to (mostly) live with it


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## Rosemarie (Feb 22, 2021)

I don't have a problem at the moment, but thanks for telling us.


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## Rosemarie (Feb 22, 2021)

SilentSoul said:


> _My only issue with these sites is that many do not have any counselors present. These folks are left to wallow in their own self pity with no assistance. _


Yes, it can be a vicious circle. Depression seems to 'feed' on itself. I found that the more I dwelt on my problems, the worse it seemed to get.


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## SilentSoul (Feb 22, 2021)

_This is something I deal with daily. I thought this article was good.
Survival Mode_


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## Shalimar (Feb 23, 2021)

SilentSoul said:


> _My only issue with these sites is that many do not have any counselors present. These folks are left to wallow in their own self pity with no assistance. _


 People suffering from clinical depression have an illness, they are not “ wallowing in their own self pity.” That implies choice.


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## Shalimar (Feb 23, 2021)

peramangkelder said:


> There is a disorder akin to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder PTSD and I suffer with it
> It is called Cumulative Post Traumatic Stress Disorder CPTSD
> *'Cumulative PTSD* occurs due to the buildup of traumatic events over time or on a daily basis
> The symptoms and signs are mostly identical to PTSD but because of this buildup of events that
> ...


PTSD is usually as a result of an isolated traumatic incident, car crash, robbery, assault etc. Complex PTSD as it is known in Canuckistan, is, as you said, resulting from cumulative traumatic  events, usually, but not exclusively, originating in childhood. CPTSD is very resistant to treatment.


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## Dana (Feb 23, 2021)

SilentSoul said:


> _My only issue with these sites is that many do not have any counselors present. These folks are left to wallow in their own self pity with no assistance. _



_Depression is far from feeling sorry for yourself and* “*wallowing in self-pity*.”*
Stigmatizing someone can make healing more difficult. Society needs to realise this._


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## OneEyedDiva (Feb 23, 2021)

helenbacque said:


> Not a problem for me but I have a family member that has depression problems.  It is heartbreaking and frightening because there is no apparent reason for it and she won't see a doctor.


No apparent reason? Depression doesn't need a reason. As @nvtribefan noted, it's not a choice, it's an illness. It can affect those who look like they have the world at their fingertips. I have two grandchildren who suffer from this sometimes debilitating illness. 
​


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## Aneeda72 (Feb 23, 2021)

OneEyedDiva said:


> No apparent reason? Depression doesn't need a reason. As @nvtribefan noted, it's not a choice, it's an illness. It can affect those who look like they have the world at their fingertips. I have two grandchildren who suffer from this sometimes debilitating illness.
> ​


I have two great grandchildren who suffer from depression.  The 7 year old started pulling her hair out in clumps.  It’s a horrid disease especially in the young ones who have no ideal what the problem is.  My niece tried to kill herself when she was 17.  Depression runs in our family.


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## molsongolden57 (Feb 23, 2021)

I clicked on the link but it says "page cannot be found." Is there another group?


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## Pinky (Feb 23, 2021)

molsongolden57 said:


> I clicked on the link but it says "page cannot be found." Is there another group?


edited: which link did you click on?


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## molsongolden57 (Feb 23, 2021)

I clicked on the first one on page 1, and there was another one I also clicked on. If this group still exists, would you please post the link to it? Thank you.


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## Pinky (Feb 23, 2021)

molsongolden57 said:


> I clicked on the first one on page 1, and there was another one I also clicked on. If this group still exists, would you please post the link to it? Thank you.


That means you clicked on the introduction page .. Page 1. 
If you want to read the most recent page, click on the highest number page, which is 3 at this time .. right here, where you posted.

https://www.seniorforums.com/threads/depression-problems.29878/page-3#post-1644345


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## Ruthanne (Feb 23, 2021)

molsongolden57 said:


> I clicked on the first one on page 1, and there was another one I also clicked on. If this group still exists, would you please post the link to it? Thank you.


The group no longer exists.  We had software changes here awhile back and we no longer have any groups.


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## Keesha (Feb 23, 2021)

Ruthanne said:


> The group no longer exists.  We had software changes here awhile back and we no longer have any groups.


What a shame. A support group would be great for our seniors forum. The software changes had advantages and disadvantages and this certainly is one of them.


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## SilentSoul (Feb 23, 2021)

Dana said:


> _Depression is far from feeling sorry for yourself and* “*wallowing in self-pity*.”*
> Stigmatizing someone can make healing more difficult. Society needs to realise this._


_I think you misunderstood what I meant. What I meant was there is no counselor on these sites so they're left to their own devices. Meaning they will just continue to dwell instead of healing. I was not making a derogatory statement as I too suffer from depression. I apologize for any confusion._


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## Ruthanne (Feb 23, 2021)

Ruthanne said:


> The group no longer exists.  We had software changes here awhile back and we no longer have any groups.


@molsongolden57  Feel free to start a new discussion topic on depression or anything you'd be interested in.  There are many here who have experience with depression whom I'm pretty sure would chime in.


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## Dana (Feb 23, 2021)

SilentSoul said:


> _I think you misunderstood what I meant. What I meant was there is no counselor on these sites so they're left to their own devices. Meaning they will just continue to dwell instead of healing. I was not making a derogatory statement as I too suffer from depression. I apologize for any confusion._



Thank you for clearing that up SilentSoul...much appreciated.


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## Keesha (Feb 23, 2021)

Shalimar said:


> PTSD is usually as a result of an isolated traumatic incident, car crash, robbery, assault etc. Complex PTSD as it is known in Canuckistan, is, as you said, resulting from cumulative traumatic  events, usually, but not exclusively, originating in childhood. CPTSD is very resistant to treatment.


Is the reason why complex PTSD is so resistant to treatment due to the fact that it usually starts in early childhood, under 5 when the brain and personality are developing and due to the violent repetitious nature of assault that leads to the feeling of no escape? From everything I’ve read about it so far, it apparently takes 10 to 15 years of intense treatment. I’m guessing Cumulative PTSD is the same as Complex PTSD which seems to include just about every mental disorder known, or so it seems.


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## Pinky (Feb 24, 2021)

@molsongolden57 .. oops, sorry, I completely misunderstood the original question


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## Aneeda72 (Feb 24, 2021)

SilentSoul said:


> _I think you misunderstood what I meant. What I meant was there is no counselor on these sites so they're left to their own devices. Meaning they will just continue to dwell instead of healing. I was not making a derogatory statement as I too suffer from depression. I apologize for any confusion._


The problem is, there are those, on the forum,  who think they are counselors or those, perhaps, that may be counselors, but not good counselors or not the type of counselor needed so there would be a liability question for the owners of the site.  Counselors are not one size fits all.

And there is the privacy question.  IMO, a counselor would be a bad ideal.


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## SilentSoul (Feb 24, 2021)

Aneeda72 said:


> The problem is, there are those, on the forum,  who think they are counselors or those, perhaps, that may be counselors, but not good counselors or not the type of counselor needed so there would be a liability question for the owners of the site.  Counselors are not one size fits all.
> 
> And there is the privacy question.  IMO, a counselor would be a bad ideal.


_Hello Aneeda. I was not necessarily speaking of this forum. I was referring to mental health forums in general. There are usually no mental health moderators. Just average people with no abilities to help these folks. So they are left to dwell and obsess over their shortcomings and go deeper into the depression. I find that very unhealthy._


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## Aneeda72 (Feb 24, 2021)

SilentSoul said:


> _Hello Aneeda. I was not necessarily speaking of this forum. I was referring to mental health forums in general. There are usually no mental health moderators. Just average people with no abilities to help these folks. So they are left to dwell and obsess over their shortcomings and go deeper into the depression. I find that very unhealthy._


I agree, it is unhealthy.  A forum is not a place to find a cure, but rather a place to share stresses and get feed back from what other people think and feel.  Others peoples experiences can be invaluable in relating to yourself, while keeping in mind there is no real “norm”.  Each person is unique in their experiences and feelings.


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## molsongolden57 (Feb 24, 2021)

Ruthanne said:


> @molsongolden57  Feel free to start a new discussion topic on depression or anything you'd be interested in.  There are many here who have experience with depression whom I'm pretty sure would chime in.


I may possibly do that. Thank you!


Pinky said:


> @molsongolden57 .. oops, sorry, I completely misunderstood the original question


It's OK. It was sorted out


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## Ruthanne (Feb 24, 2021)

molsongolden57 said:


> I may possibly do that. Thank you!
> 
> It's OK. It was sorted out


You are welcome.


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## Keesha (Feb 24, 2021)

Isn’t it ironic?
This is a  forum specially intended for social interaction with a variety of elderly members many of whom have health issues. There have been questions about thyroid issues, MRI’s, Orthopedic surgery, diabetes, weight issues, hip & other joint problems, kidney disease, mammograms, cancer, cuts , scrapes, bruises and anything pertaining to human health that members have asked about and received answers. No surprise there.

From what I’ve read none of the answers have come from professional doctors yet nobody has complained about it , possibly because nobody expected FREE professional advice off a website forum.

Here we have a thread about depression which many members on this thread have stated is a mental health issue. As far as I know, none of these members are mental health professionals except for one who is now being singled out and criticized . Why? It’s a thread to discuss depression which has lead to discussing other mental health disorders. That’s how threads normally flow. Like all other health related threads, people ask questions and others answer.

Why is this thread and it’s members being criticized for discussing mental health?
How is this thread any different from any other health disorder thread? Members ask questions and other members respond.
Like any other threads, I seriously doubt anyone was expecting professional advice for their inquiry and I certainly didn’t expect the one professional who we do have to be called out in such a distasteful manner from those with their own ongoing mental health issues.
Once again, isn’t it ironic!


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## Nathan (Feb 24, 2021)

FWIW(for what it's worth):  TED Talks are an interesting and informative source for short lectures of a wide range of subjects; I watch primarily 

the videos dealing with mental health.    Here is an especially interesting video:  Could_a_drug_prevent_depression_and_ptsd


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## Keesha (Feb 24, 2021)

That was a very interesting video. I’ve never heard of ketamine before nor has it ever been suggested by my health practitioners. At the moment I’m on a combination of medication prescribed by my nurse practitioner that works well. It causes the typical weight gain and drowsiness but it sure beats the alternative.
I was sooo grateful when she found the last medication since it worked so well for me and was something I’d never tried before. I’d prefer not to be on any meds but I will take them if I get bad enough. 
Thanks Nathan


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## Dana (Feb 24, 2021)

Aneeda72 said:


> The problem is, there are those, on the forum,  who think they are counselors or those, perhaps, that may be counselors, but not good counselors or not the type of counselor needed so there would be a liability question for the owners of the site.  Counselors are not one size fits all.
> 
> And there is the privacy question.  IMO, a counselor would be a bad ideal.


_I have not been on this forum long enough to know what people's professions are so perhaps you may like to explain a bit further. As far as I am concerned, a person cannot just say they are a counselor. A counselor is a trained professional and a psychologist  has undergone many years of training. Both have to be accredited and licensed to practice.

How in heaven's name would you know how good someone is at their profession if you have never been under their care personally?_


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## Shalimar (Feb 24, 2021)

Keesha said:


> Is the reason why complex PTSD is so resistant to treatment due to the fact that it usually starts in early childhood, under 5 when the brain and personality are developing and due to the violent repetitious nature of assault that leads to the feeling of no escape? From everything I’ve read about it so far, it apparently takes 10 to 15 years of intense treatment. I’m guessing Cumulative PTSD is the same as Complex PTSD which seems to include just about every mental disorder known, or so it seems.


  That is one viewpoint shared by many professionals. We still don’t really understand all the ramifications of this insidious illness. Some respond well to years of intense therapy, others not so much.  I have yet to meet anyone completely cured of CPTSD. one can spend years in remission, only to be triggered.


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## Dana (Feb 24, 2021)

*For SilentSoul*… with regard to your comment about mental health forums.

As far as I can see, SeniorForum is simply a discussion forum where a variety of topics are discussed including mental health. Mental health forums are discussion forums about mental health only. I think the confusion arises when “mental health” forums and “online counselling” are merged into one. They are _not_ the same thing.

Both online counselling and mental health forums can help in different ways depending on the severity of your problem. Online counselling involves certified, and experienced counsellors. It is the same therapy that takes place in a clinician’s office, only it’s done via some medium of technology. This is a paid service.

Mental health discussion forums, on the other hand, don’t usually call on the knowledge and expertise of a therapist. Instead, these sites enable users to become involved in important discussions about mental health for free. On a mental health forum, you can ask questions about an issue you’re experiencing or give advice to someone else. The idea is mainly to share experiences in an informal way. It is my belief that many of these sites would have a mental health professional on board to jump in if perhaps a line is crossed, not to give personal advice.


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## Keesha (Feb 24, 2021)

Shalimar said:


> That is one viewpoint shared by many professionals. We still don’t really understand all the ramifications of this insidious illness. Some respond well to years of intense therapy, others not so much.  I have yet to meet anyone completely cured of CPTSD. one can spend years in remission, only to be triggered.


Thank you. That’s the impression I’ve gotten from everything I’ve read so far.  Also from what I’ve only learned from the last year , it’s a newly acknowledged disorder on the DSM list and isn’t even recognized in many parts of the world, some of which might have the highest incidences of it due to war, crime rate and cultural differences; never mind lack of modern technology, education and medical services. My heart goes out to all these folks.

Even those in the modern world might struggle with finances getting the kind of help they’d need to treat a condition like this. According to ‘beauty after bruises,’ it can take 10 to 15 years of intense specific therapy which is why they offer grants to those who can’t afford it. I hadn’t even considered the remission part .

https://www.beautyafterbruises.org/blog


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## Aneeda72 (Feb 24, 2021)

Dana said:


> _I have not been on this forum long enough to know what people's professions are so perhaps you may like to explain a bit further. As far as I am concerned, a person cannot just say they are a counselor. A counselor is a trained professional and a psychologist  has undergone many years of training. Both have to be accredited and licensed to practice.
> 
> How in heaven's name would you know how good someone is at their profession if you have never been under their care personally?_


Exactly!


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## SilentSoul (Feb 24, 2021)

Dana said:


> *For SilentSoul*… with regard to your comment about mental health forums.
> 
> As far as I can see, SeniorForum is simply a discussion forum where a variety of topics are discussed including mental health. Mental health forums are discussion forums about mental health only. I think the confusion arises when “mental health” forums and “online counselling” are merged into one. They are _not_ the same thing.
> 
> ...


_Yes I am aware._


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## Keesha (Feb 24, 2021)

Dana said:


> _I have not been on this forum long enough to know what people's professions are so perhaps you may like to explain a bit further. As far as I am concerned, a person cannot just say they are a counselor. A counselor is a trained professional and a psychologist  has undergone many years of training. Both have to be accredited and licensed to practice.
> 
> How in heaven's name would you know how good someone is at their profession if you have never been under their care personally?_


This person has a doctorate degree in psychology and a license to practice. I have been on the forum long enough to know.


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## Irwin (Feb 24, 2021)

Dr. Martin Seligman, partially through experiments with dogs way back in the '60s -- which would be illegal today, and through other experiments, concluded that depression is caused by learned helplessness. I'm not sure that all experts on depression would agree with him, but for those in SF who suffer from depression, how much does feeling helpless factor into it? Do you feel helpless in some crucial realm of your life? Just curious.


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## Ruthanne (Feb 24, 2021)

I am asking that this thread be closed for various reasons.  Anyone can start a new thread.  This is a very old one started for the purpose of a group we had here that no  longer exists.


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## SilentSoul (Feb 24, 2021)

Irwin said:


> Dr. Martin Seligman, partially through experiments with dogs way back in the '60s -- which would be illegal today, and through other experiments, concluded that depression is caused by learned helplessness. I'm not sure that all experts on depression would agree with him, but for those in SF who suffer from depression, how much does feeling helpless factor into it? Do you feel helpless in some crucial realm of your life? Just curious.


_Not helpless. Hopeless._


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## Aneeda72 (Feb 25, 2021)

Irwin said:


> Dr. Martin Seligman, partially through experiments with dogs way back in the '60s -- which would be illegal today, and through other experiments, concluded that depression is caused by learned helplessness. I'm not sure that all experts on depression would agree with him, but for those in SF who suffer from depression, how much does feeling helpless factor into it? Do you feel helpless in some crucial realm of your life? Just curious.


No except with my ability to get a job and a paycheck.  My disabilities prevent me from doing this.  After telling my doctors over the last couple of years of my wish to work, they said no, although, I am still hopeful of being able to do so.


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## Aneeda72 (Feb 25, 2021)

Ruthanne said:


> I am asking that this thread be closed for various reasons.  Anyone can start a new thread.  This is a very old one started for the purpose of a group we had here that no  longer exists.


Old threads are frequently restarted, why close this one?


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## SeaBreeze (Feb 25, 2021)

This thread is locked.  The original poster was referring to a group that was started in 2017.  The groupls no longer exist here, and that why the link is not valid.


molsongolden57 said:


> I clicked on the first one on page 1, and there was another one I also clicked on. If this group still exists, would you please post the link to it? Thank you


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