# Soon I wont be living alone



## C50 (Jul 7, 2022)

My son is 29 and getting married tomorrow, they live across the country from me.  His fiance is 27 and originally from Germany and their plan is to move there the beginning of 2023.  So....I told them they could move in with me and live rent free so they can save as much money as possible before the move.  I have plenty of contacts so can open up doors to get them working.

They have spent a week here together and his fiance seems to be a considerate guest, my son was always easy to live with.  Regardless it will be a big adjustment for me, I have lived alone for eight years and truly love my peace and quiet.  Wish me luck! lol


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## hollydolly (Jul 7, 2022)

I'd love to have a family member here


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## Gaer (Jul 7, 2022)

@C50, Hope this works out for you and for them.


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## Blessed (Jul 7, 2022)

My son, his fiance and her two year old son lived with me for 3 years.  They were saving for their own home and the wedding. I also had my Mom here for a couple of years until I had to place her in care. When they did find a home I was happy for them but I miss them all.  They are only 30 minutes away.  While they were here it gave me purpose, without them, I am just kind of floating in limbo thru my days.  It is not as much fun being alone as I had never been alone.  Straight from childhood home to married, it is quite a shock when you are living alone.


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## C50 (Jul 7, 2022)

I have to give both my kids credit because once they moved out neither has ever asked for money or to move back home. I always told them if their life blows up I would rather pay for an apartment for a year than let them move back home.

He was certainly surprised I made the offer.  I do want them to get ahead financially but also want to spend time with them before they move to another contenient.


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## Blessed (Jul 7, 2022)

I must admit I would rather have them here.  I got to spend a lot of time with my grandson.  Our school was just three houses away, I enjoyed walking him to and from school.  Looking after him until they were home from work.  Cookng dinner so when they got home they could relax.  The simple things of life are very rewarding. Just the thought of them moving a distance away scares me.  I do want them to do what they think if best for their happiness.  If they decide that it would be a good move for them who am I stand in their way. I will adapt just like I have done in the past.


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## C50 (Jul 7, 2022)

Blessed said:


> I must admit I would rather have them here.  I got to spend a lot of time with my grandson.  Our school was just three houses away, I enjoyed walking him to and from school.  Looking after him until they were home from work.  Cookng dinner so when they got home they could relax.  The simple things of life are very rewarding. Just the thought of them moving a distance away scares me.  I do want them to do what they think if best for their happiness.  If they decide that it would be a good move for them who am I stand in their way. I will adapt just like I have done in the past.


I understand how you feel.  Having a home full of love is an incredible thing, and having your grandson there must be absolute bliss.


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## Gary O' (Jul 7, 2022)

C50 said:


> I always told them if their life blows up I would rather pay for an apartment for a year than let them move back home


I hear ya, brother

Love 'em.....but...........


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## feywon (Jul 8, 2022)

@C50  One factor that might make it easier to adjust is knowing it is temporary.  Still it might be a good idea to to talk about anything that might become an issue.  A couple that come to mind:

1) If you're one of those seniors who gets up for an our or two in wee hours of night cause you can't sleep,  but they need the full overnight sleep because they have work in morning;

2) Everybody needs to cleanup (laundry and dishes) after selves unless deals about the cook of shared meals not having to do it are made. Had such a deal with 2 husbands because i worked too.

And anything else  you can think of-- for example some people incommunicative till they finish first cup of coffee, simple good mornings all they can manage.  Have running 'joke' with daughter about letting me know when her brain is fully booted up if i need to run something by her. (Being a millennial the first thing she does on waking is check phone in case her boss or housekeepers have texted about issue re work, then boots up her laptop.)


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## OneEyedDiva (Jul 8, 2022)

C50 said:


> My son is 29 and getting married tomorrow, they live across the country from me.  His fiance is 27 and originally from Germany and their plan is to move there the beginning of 2023.  So....I told them they could move in with me and live rent free so they can save as much money as possible before the move.  I have plenty of contacts so can open up doors to get them working.
> 
> They have spent a week here together and his fiance seems to be a considerate guest, my son was always easy to live with.  Regardless it will be a big adjustment for me, I have lived alone for eight years and truly love my peace and quiet.  Wish me luck! lol


Awwww...that's so nice of you. You're a good dad. My son moved back in with me, at my invitation in February, a little less than two months after his wife died and their two sons didn't want to stay in that 3 bedroom apartment. I am charging him rent though, which is a pittance for us. My carrying charges (co-op speak for HOA fees) are $644 a month; the mortgage was paid off 10 years ago. My utility bill averages $71 (we pay for electricity only). We split those costs 50/50 ($346 each) and for him, this is a huge savings from his former $1,900 a month rent and about $400 a month between their cable and utility bills. He's also closer to the highway he takes to get to work. Add to that it's a lot cheaper to do laundry in our laundry room than area laundromats.

I find that this arrangement is convenient for both of us. I'm happy that he's here with me. We are helping each other heal because our senses of humor are off the charts.  Plus, he's quite busy so I often have the space and peace I need. I receive a little help now with things I could do myself but still it's nice to have help sometimes. So I hope that like me, you'll find benefits in having your son and his wife close to you, especially since before you know it, they will be far from you. You may find the adjustments are easier than you thought and you'll get satisfaction from knowing how much you are helping them prepare for their new lives. Best of blessings with your new arrangement.


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## Teacher Terry (Jul 25, 2022)

When I divorced my cheating husband 18 months ago my son came to stay with me and remodeled the condo I bought. That saved me a ton of money. I wouldn’t let him pay rent but after 4 months he insisted on buying all the groceries so it’s been great for both of us. He leaves next month to teach English overseas. We get along well so it’s been great.


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## OneEyedDiva (Jul 26, 2022)

Teacher Terry said:


> When I divorced my cheating husband 18 months ago my son came to stay with me and remodeled the condo I bought. That saved me a ton of money. I wouldn’t let him pay rent but after 4 months he insisted on buying all the groceries so it’s been great for both of us. He leaves next month to teach English overseas. We get along well so it’s been great.


That's wonderful Terry. How blessed you are! I have a great son too.


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