# On Offline Socializing



## Denise1952 (Jun 15, 2014)

Well, some of you know I went to a bbq last night.  The neighbors that had me pup-sit invited me.  I thought it was cool, and also, another opportunity to get out more.  Well for me, it was one of the most uncomfy things I have done in a long time.

For lack of a better way to put it, I was not in their league.  I'm not looking down, or looking up at their league k?  Just realized I was not a good fit for the general group.  First, it was a large group (about 50-60?) and if you saw the cars out front, which I didn't notice, but my friends, and landlords did, you would think big bucks.  I have always felt I can fit it anywhere, maybe I can, but honestly, I didn't want to.  Well, they broke off into smaller groups, so pick a group right?  I did, I picked some gals that looked like I might fit in.  Honestly, I wasn't spoken to at all.  So I sat and listened politely.

Some of the topics:

Hair salons
Nail salons
Clothing store in town (lack thereof, and I so wanted to say the thriftstores had all the brandnames they were interested in, LOL)
Where did you get your shoes?
Oh that diamond!
Oh your husband works for Douglas Forest Products purchasing?

Well, you all know a little bit about me, and I was introduced to everyone as "their dog-sitter".  That was a nice touch.  Ok, so I felt a bit "less then" I admit it.  I finished my glass of wine, had a half a burger, then said I needed to go but thanked them like the lady I am.

Learned a lesson, pick and choose my socializing more carefully  Comments welcome, one of my friends (here on SF) helped a lot because she is very down to Earth as well.  More into people then possessions of, or degrees.  Please understand, I think it is neat people have their own thing, whether it's a degree hanging on the wall, or a fancy car, house, kids and grandkids. But I wish there could have been someone there more down to Earth  I did mention I was raised in the country near there, and that I knew about the downtown area/and lack of stores. But I also remembered when it was lovely.  I think that is when people started going and refilling their wine glasses.


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## Ina (Jun 15, 2014)

Denise, I sorry you had that kind of experience. I think most of us has had to go through that at sometime. It really wasn't fair of your host not to clue you into what kind of party it was. I found that if a party of that size is going on, it's never very comfy. Too much showing off going on. I like smaller groups, they are more personal. But Don't quit going out. Your are a fun loving person, and will add a lot to any gathering. :yougogirl:


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## Meanderer (Jun 15, 2014)

Don't sell yourself short!


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## Denise1952 (Jun 15, 2014)

Ina said:


> Denise, I sorry you had that kind of experience. I think most of us has had to go through that at sometime. It really wasn't fair of your host not to clue you into what kind of party it was. I found that if a party of that size is going on, it's never very comfy. Too much showing off going on. I like smaller groups, they are more personal. But Don't quit going out. Your are a fun loving person, and will add a lot to any gathering. :yougogirl:



No, I won't stop going places  I could have asked how many were  coming, and not being used to big crowds, and many folks I didn't know,  just added to it.  I like smaller groups as well.  As far as the host  being fair, they are used to these gatherings and probably didn't have a  clue.  I'm sure they didn't do it on purpose by any means.  ty Ina





Meanderer said:


> Don't sell yourself short!



Nah, I won't  I guess it is normal not to fit into every, social gathering, I just don't have a lot of experience, and what I do have, came mostly in family gatherings, and groups of folks I knew well like in my 20s thanks much  I think it is a positive as I learned more about what I do enjoy these days.


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## SeaBreeze (Jun 15, 2014)

I don't like large crowds or parties, and have no interest in how my car makes me look, or how much bling I can blind people with.  I don't do the nail thing either, I always worked a blue collar job, did my own chores around the house, and got out in the woods for vacations...so hot pink 3 inch nails with diamond dollar signs are not my cup of tea, LOL.

Not the typical woman stereotype here either, hate shopping really, and don't even wear my engagement ring on a regular basis, just the wedding band is the only jewelry on my fingers.  Everyone has things to make them feel special or more important than others, IMO, it's when you can do that without buying it, that makes you the richest of all.

Those woman are not happy on the inside, bitching about lack of stores to spend their husband's money in, or how they want to add to their collection of 65 high heeled shoes...glad I don't waste my precious moments of life on this earth with all that superficial crapola. 

You're special inside and out, don't even stress about not fitting into the 'mix' out there, you'll be much happier with a friend or two in a simpler setting. :love_heart:


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## Denise1952 (Jun 15, 2014)

SeaBreeze said:


> I don't like large crowds or parties, and have no interest in how my car makes me look, or how much bling I can blind people with.  I don't do the nail thing either, I always worked a blue collar job, did my own chores around the house, and got out in the woods for vacations...so hot pink 3 inch nails with diamond dollar signs are not my cup of tea, LOL.
> 
> Not the typical woman stereotype here either, hate shopping really, and don't even wear my engagement ring on a regular basis, just the wedding band is the only jewelry on my fingers.  Everyone has things to make them feel special or more important than others, IMO, it's when you can do that without buying it, that makes you the richest of all.
> 
> ...



I believe it SB, even one, good buddy is so wonderful  Funny but I can't be honest without saying I did kind of wish I had something I could add, but the thing is, the things I love to talk about, well, just aren't the same.  It's the same here, everybody has their interests, and it wouldn't be boring if we were all alike.  I could say I just went to the wrong party, but I learned a lot by going  Thanks SB, your input is welcome and appreciated denise


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## GeorgiaXplant (Jun 15, 2014)

SeaBreeze said:


> or how they want to add to their collection of 65 high heeled shoes...



See, Denise, they really_ weren't _all that! Only 65 pair of shoes 

I guess you didn't ask your new friend along?


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## Denise1952 (Jun 15, 2014)

Yeah Georgia, only 65 pairs, geesh, what paupers, LOL!!  Nah, no feller, not really friends, only see him around  I met another guy out walking, he doesn't seem to be married, I'm not looking now, just trying to do stuff, maybe meet someone that way.  And, maybe I don't want to meet anyone, not really  Who knows


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## Honey (Jun 15, 2014)

I believe you did the right thing in leaving early Denise, I'd have done the same, probably after the first drink. I don't like large groups, I find it  uncomfortable and overwhelming, I much prefer being out with just a few people that I know so that I'll feel relaxed in their company


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## hollydolly (Jun 15, 2014)

Denise you know what's great about you, is that you took this on board and saw it for what it was...and that was no reflection on either you...or the others at the party...just a huge difference on your outlook and lifestyles...

Now if you'd like to move to the UK, I can introduce you to peeps who have more interesting things to chat about than shoes, and shopping...LOL


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## Denise1952 (Jun 15, 2014)

I agree Honey, my friends were encouraging me to go, and I just didn't think much about it.  It's been a long time.  It got pretty loud over there, and they had 2 kegs, lots of bottled beer, and skads of wines.  I didn't even know people in their 50's and 60's threw big booze parties anymore.  That's how "out of the loop" I am, LOL!!  Especially glad I left before that, not that I don't enjoy a glass of good wine, just don't like "drunk", or hangovers, LOL!!


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## Denise1952 (Jun 15, 2014)

hollydolly said:


> Denise you know what's great about you, is that you took this on board and saw it for what it was...and that was no reflection on either you...or the others at the party...just a huge difference on your outlook and lifestyles...
> 
> Now if you'd like to move to the UK, I can introduce you to peeps who have more interesting things to chat about than shoes, and shopping...LOL



I so want to (it's on my bucket list) come to New Years Eve at Picadilly (I think that's where the Ferris Wheel is??). Wow, that is sooooooo cool, not to mention all the history, and sites, omg, I would love it, camera in hand, and batteries charged!!LOL!!


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## i_am_Lois (Jun 15, 2014)

Denise, I think I would have been as uncomfortable/bored as you. I've never been to a nail salon in my life. I have always cut my own hair. And my wardrobe was purchased at the local Goodwill store. Anyone flashing their net worth doesn't impress me. Men seem to do it by boasting about the model car they drive, what position they hold at work and by finding a need to pull out a big wad of bills (too many to tuck into a wallet). Women do it by throwing brand names around in conversations about their clothes, handbags, shoes and perfume. I see these people as identifying themselves solely by their possessions and not by who they are as people. They bore me. If I was at such a BBQ, I would have rolled my eyes and left just as you did.


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## hollydolly (Jun 15, 2014)

nwlady said:


> I so want to (it's on my bucket list) come to New Years Eve at Picadilly (I think that's where the Ferris Wheel is??). Wow, that is sooooooo cool, not to mention all the history, and sites, omg, I would love it, camera in hand, and batteries charged!!LOL!!



LOL it's New Years Eve at Trafalgar square...and the London Eye (ferris wheel) is at Southbank...on the river at Westminster Bridge.. 



You'd be sooo welcome ...you'd have a great time too I'm sure...


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## SifuPhil (Jun 15, 2014)

See, that's why I gave up on large social gatherings as well.

The last one I went to, the one that changed my mind forever, I felt like a sore thumb. I totally didn't fit in, which is kind of strange because usually I'm the life of the party. But right away, someone took offense at my showing off my collection of mounted giant Brazilian cockroaches.

Perhaps they didn't understand that "mounted" didn't refer to the usual scientific method of embalming and fixing in a cotton-filled box - rather, in my case "mounted" means they are live and participating in the cockroach version of intercourse.

I admit that it probably didn't help that I had helped myself to large quantities of a particularly strong herbal concoction, and was doing my mounted giant Brazilian cockroach _dance_ while I was showing them off, a dance that, might I add, is totally accepted and even admired in Brazil. Here, a bit less ... 

So yes, as I bicycled back home at two in the morning through Times Square, struggling to hold onto the big box of giant Brazilian cockroaches doing their "Dance of Desire", it occurred to me that perhaps I hadn't been quite what one would refer to as a "good fit" for that particular party.

... so much for hanging out with the so-called "intelligentsia" ...


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## Denise1952 (Jun 15, 2014)

Yep, just not a good match is all  I kind of thought about that movie Big??  Where Tom Hanks is out of place but he doesn't get it, LOL!  The coolest thing is, he's the coolest person there, we all know it, the audience, and the company owner knew it too.  Well, I wasn't the coolest like Tom, but I know I am not "less than" those that were there  Probably were some nice folks there, just not going to stick around in case there weren't I was bored, wanted to come home, check out SF, watch a Charlie Chan movie, snuggle up and enjoy "home" hugs, Denise  PS I love thriftshops, and Payless shoe source is my friend, LOL!!


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## Honey (Jun 15, 2014)

well it was their loss!:lol:


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## Denise1952 (Jun 15, 2014)

hollydolly said:


> LOL it's New Years Eve at Trafalgar square...and the London Eye (ferris wheel) is at Southbank...on the river at Westminster Bridge..
> 
> View attachment 7752
> 
> You'd be sooo welcome ...you'd have a great time too I'm sure...



Oh my gosh, have you been to it??  That's the one Dolly!! I don't know a cooler celebration of fireworks and tunes that that, I look for it every year online!!  I have lots of folks from Wales too, used to love to hear them speak.  My grandmother still served tea every time I would get to go stay with her


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## hollydolly (Jun 15, 2014)

Yes I've been to the London eye Denise, in fact I was there just 2 weeks ago...it's only a short distance  from where I live.. 

The welsh speak very differently to the English, even we in the Uk don't understand them half the time LOL ...but of course if you ever got over here to London you can visit Wales very easily, it's only 4 hours drive away... not much there unless you like sheep.... LOL...


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## Denise1952 (Jun 15, 2014)

I was wondering if the it was just my dad that was from Wales.  My grandmother and her sisters migrated to Victoria BC, but by way of Quebec.  I don't know before that.  My dad was born in Sault St Marie ON.  My mom said French/Canadian & Welsh.  I don't know the dif in the accent, but I loved my grandmothers, and her sisters  We really had some "Heinz 57" too though as 3 tribes of Native Americans/Canadian tribes mixed in.  I know two were the Cherokee, and the Nez Perce.  There is another tribe I didn't recognize so I always forget the name


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## hollydolly (Jun 15, 2014)

OH my goodness you sound like you have a fascinating family tree...


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## Denise1952 (Jun 15, 2014)

I'm sure you do as well Dolly  I wouldn't have known a lot of what I shared with you if it hadn't been for a distant cousin doing a site on it.  It's here if you are super bored sometime, LOL!!

http://www.fortlangley.ca/vautrin.html

If you go down the page to Amelie Vautrin -- first marriage

then down to the 7th paragraph, my grandma was Ethel, and all my "grand" aunts listed as well.  Auntie May (Mabel) was the one I got to see the most of, she had a neat accentand I was nuts about her*.  *I know my sis was 10 years older than I, so in her teens and she got to go and visit them as well.  She knows more then I about the family history
I don't have a "family tree" on my Dad's side, just what I heard through the years


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## Ina (Jun 15, 2014)

Silly Phil.  ...   They just weren't speaking your speak. :dunno:


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## Denise1952 (Jun 15, 2014)

SifuPhil said:


> See, that's why I gave up on large social gatherings as well.
> 
> The last one I went to, the one that changed my mind forever, I felt like a sore thumb. I totally didn't fit in, which is kind of strange because usually I'm the life of the party. But right away, someone took offense at my showing off my collection of mounted giant Brazilian cockroaches.
> 
> ...



Dang it Phil, talk about showing up late!  If I'd known how much fun you are at parties, we could have gone together, and livened that boring crowd up!  I could have helped with "the dance" as I love to dance, and that's what I'd call "dirty dancin"!  Swayze and Grey ride again!!


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## Fern (Jun 15, 2014)

The social gatherings don't have to be large to be ignored. I believe over the years, people on the whole,have become more ignorant and rude. I stay clear of social gatherings as much as I can.


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## hollydolly (Jun 15, 2014)

Fern said:


> The social gatherings don't have to be large to be ignored. I believe over the years, people on the whole,have become more ignorant and rude. I stay clear of social gatherings as much as I can.



I'm sorry to say I tend to agree with you Fern...I really believe that people have become much more rude and self centred.


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## Happyflowerlady (Jun 15, 2014)

Denise, it seems like these richer people who are into the status thing are all about the same. Like Sea Breeze says, they are not happy inside, and they go through their life not being their "real self" like the rest of us do. All they actually have is the facade. 

I had friends out in Idaho who were very well off, and we did not fit in with their social status either; but John and Edie often invited us  to go places together with them. One day, I asked Edie about it, and said that she had so many friends, that were well off, and we were poor, so why did they invite us along instead ? 
Edie told me, "Yvonne, all those people, they like us because of our money, and status, and the  influence we can be for them with other people.  You guys like us because you like John and Edie. You are real friends."


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## Denise1952 (Jun 15, 2014)

Yes, I can understand that.  There are lots of nice folks that have money.  It's sad to think that there really are people out there that cling to others because of their accomplishments/material possessions, but that is how it is.  I know someone that has 1000's on her facebook, friends?? I doubt it, just people that want to be part of her success.  She writes me every once in awhile, and it's the same little gal I went to highschool with  She's pretty well off, famous, etc., but she's still my, little buddy  She doesn't give a hoot that I don't own much more then my old, beat up pickup, LOL!!


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## Jillaroo (Jun 15, 2014)

_Oh Phil i can picture you doing that at the party, to hell with the filthy rich who only mix in their own circles for gain, Paris Hilton comes to mind we can do without these people and just enjoy our true friends_:tapfoot:


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## Denise1952 (Jun 15, 2014)

Phil, you are amazing in my "book".  You write so great, and I have never laughed harder then at your stuff  Anyone not wanting you at a party has some of their pages stuck together  I'm about ready to try some of that wacky weed, think I'll look a little closer while wandering through these Oregon woods, LOL!! Big hugs dude, Denise

PS I feel sorry for those that can't get real, especially those that don't know how, that is the sad thing Jill.  I think it is "learned" I don't think we are born that way.  Although, babies are very selfish if you've noticed, LOL!!


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## Justme (Jun 16, 2014)

I have never liked socialising with anyone but family and one or two friends, even as a young person.


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## Bullie76 (Jun 16, 2014)

Large social gatherings can turn out that way. Although there can be some good down to earth people in attendance, more than likely you will find some who are not.

At least they were nice enough to invite you.


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## Jackie22 (Jun 16, 2014)

nwlady said:


> Well, some of you know I went to a bbq last night.  The neighbors that had me pup-sit invited me.  I thought it was cool, and also, another opportunity to get out more.  Well for me, it was one of the most uncomfy things I have done in a long time.
> 
> For lack of a better way to put it, I was not in their league.  I'm not looking down, or looking up at their league k?  Just realized I was not a good fit for the general group.  First, it was a large group (about 50-60?) and if you saw the cars out front, which I didn't notice, but my friends, and landlords did, you would think big bucks.  I have always felt I can fit it anywhere, maybe I can, but honestly, I didn't want to.  Well, they broke off into smaller groups, so pick a group right?  I did, I picked some gals that looked like I might fit in.  Honestly, I wasn't spoken to at all.  So I sat and listened politely.
> 
> ...



Denise, I've been in similar situations......a quote from my ex comes to mind.....something about...'feed them fish heads' lol...seriously, you are doing the right thing, hold your head up and move on.


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## Denise1952 (Jun 16, 2014)

Justme said:


> I have never liked socialising with anyone but family and one or two friends, even as a young person.



That's interesting since you are on here Justme.  This forum is for socializing as I see the general rules:

 verb (used without object), so·cial·ized, so·cial·iz·ing.  4. to associate or mingle sociably with others: to socialize with one's fellow workers.


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## Justme (Jun 16, 2014)

nwlady said:


> That's interesting since you are on here Justme.  This forum is for socializing as I see the general rules:
> 
> verb (used without object), so·cial·ized, so·cial·iz·ing.  4. to associate or mingle sociably with others: to socialize with one's fellow workers.



I don't regard it is as socialising as such. The people I meet in cyber space aren't real to me, unless I have actually met them in person.


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## Denise1952 (Jun 16, 2014)

Justme said:


> I don't regard is as socialising as such. The people I meet in cyber space aren't real to me, unless I have actually met them in person.



Yeah, but I can understand not wanting to meet anyone in person that is just text on a page.


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## Justme (Jun 16, 2014)

In cyberspace people can be anyone they wish to be, and you can't trust what they say about themselves to be true, imo.


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## JustBonee (Jun 16, 2014)

Justme said:


> In cyberspace people can be anyone they wish to be, and you can't trust what they say about themselves to be true, imo.



Ouch!


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## Denise1952 (Jun 16, 2014)

Justme said:


> In cyberspace people can be anyone they wish to be, and you can't trust what they say about themselves to be true, imo.



I heard a saying one time, and I think it's true for me.  "If you look for the bad in people you will find it".  We all have our faults, but I am much happier when I look for the good in folks.  I'm not saying I always do, and I can get sour on people too.  I also think that my, bad attitude makes folks want to stay away from me.  I suppose if I want people to stay away, I'll just have a bad attitude.


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## Sunny (Jun 16, 2014)

I related to your bbq experience, Denise, and I imagine pretty much everyone can. The feeling of not fitting in doesn't necessarily have to be because of money or conspicuous consumption; it can be anything. There are intellectual snobs, religious fanatics, political fanatics, etc. who can all make you feel pretty uncomfortable when you're not on their wave length.

One time a lady I know from bridge invited me to join her and a bunch of friends for lunch. I thought how nice, and happily went, expecting to meet some interesting people and maybe make a new friend or two. Well, it turned out they were all devoted members of Weight Watchers, and talked about NOTHING else for the entire time at lunch: how many points (or something) each food item gets, etc. I didn't even know what they were talking about. Every time I tried to switch to another subject, we ended up talking about food and weight again. Maybe not as upsetting as your experience, but disappointing anyway.


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## Denise1952 (Jun 16, 2014)

Sunny said:


> I related to your bbq experience, Denise, and I imagine pretty much everyone can. The feeling of not fitting in doesn't necessarily have to be because of money or conspicuous consumption; it can be anything. There are intellectual snobs, religious fanatics, political fanatics, etc. who can all make you feel pretty uncomfortable when you're not on their wave length.
> 
> One time a lady I know from bridge invited me to join her and a bunch of friends for lunch. I thought how nice, and happily went, expecting to meet some interesting people and maybe make a new friend or two. Well, it turned out they were all devoted members of Weight Watchers, and talked about NOTHING else for the entire time at lunch: how many points (or something) each food item gets, etc. I didn't even know what they were talking about. Every time I tried to switch to another subject, we ended up talking about food and weight again. Maybe not as upsetting as your experience, but disappointing anyway.




That couldn't have been easy either Sunny, and when I look back over my life, I've never been into certain types of gatherings.  I was just drawn to wherever friends, or families were going.  This was just sort of a "mindless" acceptance of an invite to help get me out more.  I didn't think much about it, only that it was something besides staying home alone (which I have to tell you, I prefer most of the time).  I know I've mentioned it, but anyone I love visiting with, is tied up with family, children, and grandchildren.  Haven't run into anyone more like me, single, no children etc.  But I figure I will.

One thing I look for is genuine, which I think if the opposite of shallow in a way.  I like to joke, but I like to talk about deeper things too.  I met someone recently that talked about hiking.  I thought, cool, maybe someone to go with once in awhile.  But then, every time we talked, it was about hiking.  I have lots of interests, never have built my life around one thing.  Well, maybe just tried to build it around experiencing as many cool things as I can in my life Denise


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## jlsarg (Jun 16, 2014)

Hello Abi...Quite an adventure you had...Liked the thrift store comment!


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## Justme (Jun 16, 2014)

nwlady said:


> I heard a saying one time, and I think it's true for me.  "If you look for the bad in people you will find it".  We all have our faults, but I am much happier when I look for the good in folks.  I'm not saying I always do, and I can get sour on people too.  I also think that my, bad attitude makes folks want to stay away from me.  I suppose if I want people to stay away, I'll just have a bad attitude.



It is far better to be wary about people you have only had contact with on-line, than to give them your trust and live to regret it, as I did once, before I wised up.
I have actually met in person a several people whom I first became acquainted with in cyberspace, with one exception they were all very different to how they presented themselves on the NET.


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## JustBonee (Jun 16, 2014)

My online experience started with face to face contact first.   I'm talking about sporting events..   

I'm a sports fanatic and my social life might not be for everyone, but I live for football season, and along with it,  many tailgate parties and get-togethers.  I've been doing this for years now, and don't plan to stop any time soon... have a couple  different groups that I meet up with every year, and each one is about 100-200 people strong and growing.  Seeing old friends is wonderful and meeting new ones is too.  Each home game has a theme. We bring a dish to share and just kick back and talk to everyone, and have some games thrown in, and drink beer and have hours of fun.  Even when the team loses, the tailgate parties are good. And we meet visiting fans from around the country too.  What's sweet about that is, when we go home, we can visit with them on their message boards.  I belong to 6 sports boards right now.  Love the interaction. 
The local fans are always online.  It's easy to talk (type) to them, because we know each other face to face. 

When you go to sporting events, "stuffed shirts" don't exist.  Everyone is on equal ground, and it's all about fun, food and games.  I love this atmosphere for that reason.  No one is judging.


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## Denise1952 (Jun 16, 2014)

Justme said:


> It is far better to be wary about people you have only had contact with on-line, than to give them your trust and live to regret it, as I did once, before I wised up.
> I have actually met in person a several people whom I first became acquainted with in cyberspace, with one exception they were all very different to how they presented themselves on the NET.



Ok, then you are social. Or you do get on here to socialize Justme.  I don't trust with my whole heart either, that would be stupid, I do tend to look for the good in people.  Being social doesn't mean you have to trust anyone.  Being anti-social is not giving people a chance imo.


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## SeaBreeze (Jun 16, 2014)

I agree with Nwlady, socializing online is what we do here on the forum, etc.  I also think positive and look for the good in people.  Folks online may not tell all their personal information, and they're wise for not doing so...but all in all I don't think many have completely false identities, except maybe a troll passing through.  I would be careful about meeting anyone in person that I only knew from the internet, but careful should be enough.  Those women that are taken advantage of financially by online dating "catfish" are proof positive that bad people exist on the web with false identities to do criminal things.


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## Justme (Jun 16, 2014)

nwlady said:


> Ok, then you are social. Or you do get on here to socialize Justme.  I don't trust with my whole heart either, that would be stupid, I do tend to look for the good in people.  Being social doesn't mean you have to trust anyone.  Being anti-social is not giving people a chance imo.



I don't consider posting on any forum socialising as far as I am concerned. I am interested in the topics, but not the people posting them, if that makes any sense.


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## Ruthi (Jun 16, 2014)

I find this very interesting reading and especially since I'm new here.  I read what each person says and can get a sort of idea of what I'm in for on this forum. It doesn't scare me a whittle. As with Justme, I am interested in the topics, but am also interested in the people posting because they are what gives me an insight to other people's thoughts, how they were raised, educated in different parts of the world..so on and so forth.  However, I do not wish to meet up with any cyber people in person.  That thought does not appeal to me. I have many projects to keep me busy, many appointments and my husband and I selfishly spend as much time catering to one another in these late years as possible and we do have friends and family enough to handle.  However, I do love cyber friends. Cyber friends can help keep an elderly person's mind sharp.


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## Denise1952 (Jun 16, 2014)

Justme said:


> I don't consider posting on any forum socialising as far as I am concerned. I am interested in the topics, but not the people posting them, if that makes any sense.



Yes, it makes sense Justme.


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## Honey (Jun 16, 2014)

I disagree, some forums are friendlier than others, I'm not a robot that just post replies, I enjoy conversation with people and have made many like minded friends on the internet


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## Denise1952 (Jun 16, 2014)

Ruthi said:


> I find this very interesting reading and especially since I'm new here.  I read what each person says and can get a sort of idea of what I'm in for on this forum. It doesn't scare me a whittle. As with Justme, I am interested in the topics, but am also interested in the people posting because they are what gives me an insight to other people's thoughts, how they were raised, educated in different parts of the world..so on and so forth.  However, I do not wish to meet up with any cyber people in person.  That thought does not appeal to me. I have many projects to keep me busy, many appointments and my husband and I selfishly spend as much time catering to one another in these late years as possible and we do have friends and family enough to handle.  However, I do love cyber friends. Cyber friends can help keep an elderly person's mind sharp.



I agree with this as well, I haven't thought about meeting anyone in person, but I do admit to becoming very fond of a couple folks, and it wouldn't be out of the realm of possibility, that we meet in person one day.  But all in all, I have to admit to being pretty private for the most part.  I've never been the socialite type, but again, I loved the days when the family gathered for holidays etc.  I look forward to seeing my cyber-friends, it has helped me in lots of ways, to know I have seniorforums to come to  Sooner or later, I won't have as much time to be here, well, I hope I have more work/income  but I doubt I will ever not want to come and see how folks are doing Denise


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## Denise1952 (Jun 16, 2014)

Honey said:


> I disagree, some forums are friendlier than others, I'm not a robot that just post replies, I enjoy conversation with people and have made many like minded friends on the internet



I'm glad you're here Honey, I look forward to seeing that lil kitti I decided that when I am settled in my own place, I am going to have a puppy, and a kitti, then they can grow up together, and I will have a blast watching them, LOL!!


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## Honey (Jun 16, 2014)

thanks! I adore cats and dogs and have had many over the years, now I just have the one kitty


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## SeaBreeze (Jun 16, 2014)

Honey said:


> I disagree, some forums are friendlier than others, I'm not a robot that just post replies, I enjoy conversation with people and have made many like minded friends on the internet



I agree with you Honey, I have an interest in the people, not just the topics posted to reply to.  No robot here either.


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## GeorgiaXplant (Jun 16, 2014)

Gosh, if all that interests you is the topics, Justme, you can read the news online. We're real people here, merely separated by cyberspace. "Topics" are what appear in the news...words on paper or on a screen, nothing personal about those. Just the facts or not depending on the slant of the reporter.


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## Ruthi (Jun 16, 2014)

nwlady, I belong to a couple other senior forums and am very fond of a few of the people on them also. I have found, through cyber friends, from other countries and states that a person can never be too old to learn something new..from recipes to interesting places and facts. I'm country born and raised and haven't had a silver plated life to get where I am comfortable in my..(is it really?) golden years. Just as long as my husband is here to pick me up when I fall..literally.   sort of kidding.


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## Denise1952 (Jun 16, 2014)

I hear you Ruthi  I think it's adjusting to being my age, it's really a new thing, although it happened over-night I am certain.  Yep, I was 17, woke up one morning 61, LOL!  No husband, no children, by choice, and here I am trying to find good things about life  One thing good for sure, and that is people in my life, online or off  Thank you again, Denise  PS I love learning, I am like a sponge.  But all things don't hold my attention.  So it has to be interesting to me, you know, like why can't you pop a fart-bubble in the bathtub before it reaches the surface?  I just can't wrap my brain around why that can't happen

I guess it's easy to see why I don't fit in "every" gathering, layful:


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## Ina (Jun 16, 2014)




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## Sunny (Jun 17, 2014)

I've been participating in these forums for many years now (starting with Prodigy, anybody remember that?), and have a mixed bag of reactions to the people I've met on them. Some have become good friends, even visiting each other's homes in person. Some are good cyberfriends, who I have never actually met, but feel like I know them well. Most are not exactly "friends," just folks that I enjoy chatting with and know very slightly.

I've found that when you meet cyberfriends in person, you are sometimes in for some surprises (not always). Some turn out to be much more interesting people than they sound like from their writing. Some are disappointing, even out-and-out weird. One lady, whom I liked a lot online, turned out to be a colossal bore in person, nattering on and on about political matters. I live in MD, and one time, when visiting my daughter in CA, we all met an online gentleman friend and his wife for lunch and really hit it off; they were delightful! You can't really tell what someone will be like, from their online writing.

But these forums have provided a wonderful way for people to get together and express themselves. I would miss it a lot if I didn't have access to it.


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## Denise1952 (Jun 17, 2014)

I do remember the name Prodigy Sunny!  I don't recall what it was like etc.  I was into AOL and got one of those huge bills in the mail because you were charged by the minute for chatting or whatever eek!!  Well, I loved what you wrote, I think you are right on about people, and meeting online.  I have had just a couple of those experiences, and it is true.  It is surprising to meet some in person, they  are so different, or, they are amazingly cool, and lovable.  I know I tend to form a picture in my mind of someone, and I am not that good at really "good" pictures  Thanks Sunny, really enjoyed the read Denise


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## Honey (Jun 17, 2014)

I haven't participated in online dating per se but I did meet someone online via a particular forum I've been a member of for several years, nothing to do with dating, we became online friends for a long time, others began to notice the subtle changes in our conversation, the problem was he was in the USA whilst I was in the UK, we started calling one another spending hours on the phone at very little cost due to my call plan.

We eventually decided to take the plunge and meet!

I flew long haul for the first time ever and as soon as I saw him waiting for me I was in heaven! I visited twice more and he came here too but in the end other things stopped us from taking it further, my mum was ill and I couldn't move over there permanently, he had grown up children, one had cancer so we were in an impossible situation, sadly it had to end but had we met in the same country things could have worked out quite differently!


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## Denise1952 (Jun 17, 2014)

Oh shoot, that's sad, I've never met anyone that made me think of heaven when I saw them, more like the toy, Mr. Potato Head


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## Honey (Jun 17, 2014)

it was frustrating for sure but I believe things happen for a reason and perhaps in the real world it wasn't meant to be


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## Denise1952 (Jun 17, 2014)

I hear you Honey, I actually haven't met anyone to date in 18 years.  I mean, I've met them for coffee etc.  That's as far as it goes.  I think I scare them:lofl::dunno:


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## Honey (Jun 17, 2014)

I could be your twin!


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## Denise1952 (Jun 17, 2014)

LOL, yep, I think I have a few of those around, and here I thought I was unique in my animalistic characteristics

comon guys, I'm not that bad:lofl:


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## drifter (Jun 17, 2014)

Denise, that is so funny. I've been there and done that. Even men can put on 'the dog'. That would make a great movie  scene. I've had some great embarrassing moments at parties. You did very well.


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## Denise1952 (Jun 17, 2014)

LOL, thanks Drifter I knew I couldn't be alone in it, LOL!  Maybe we should start a thread on "most embarrassing moments at parties", hey, if will fit here fine!! Do tell Drifter, I will if you will, LOL!! Denise


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## Honey (Jun 17, 2014)

ooer, watch this space!


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## drifter (Jun 17, 2014)

That might do better in a new community forum, "Embarrassing Moments or something, and I suspect it would be short lived. We'd run out of of those situations and it would die for lack of interest.


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## Denise1952 (Jun 17, 2014)

drifter said:


> That might do better in a new community forum, "Embarrassing Moments or something, and I suspect it would be short lived. We'd run out of of those situations and it would die for lack of interest.



Oh yee of little faith  Let's find out Hey, the only loser is the one that doesn't try right Denise


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## drifter (Jun 17, 2014)

Let me see what you've got.


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## Denise1952 (Jun 17, 2014)

drifter said:


> Let me see what you've got.



I started the thread Now lets see what you've got, LOL!!


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## drifter (Jun 17, 2014)

Okay, I don't know if I can cut it down enough to do it here. I need a blog or an article. Let me think about how best to pull this off (could this be an embarrassing moment).


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## Denise1952 (Jun 17, 2014)

Ok, but here's the new thread on that new topic https://www.seniorforums.com/showthread.php/6860-Most-embarassing-quot-party-quot-moments!


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## drifter (Jun 17, 2014)

Moved to the most embarrassing thread. nw lady, it lookss like we crossed paths in the making or so,mething.


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## Denise1952 (Jun 17, 2014)

That was hilarious, I mean, I'm sure not at the moment, but, a hole-in-one!  That should go down in history, LOL!!


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