# What do you not like about yourself?



## halalu (Apr 24, 2015)

Now that you are older have you ever seriously been honest with yourself and listed what you do not like about yourself? How you look, your behavior or your conscious being?


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## hollydolly (Apr 24, 2015)

Achhh I've never liked how I look ...that opinion has only intensified with the passing  of time!!


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## AZ Jim (Apr 24, 2015)

hollydolly said:


> Achhh I've never liked how I look ...that opinion has only intensified with the passing  of time!!



How silly, You are a cutie.


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## halalu (Apr 24, 2015)

Have you considered going into a virtual website, creating an avatar that looks the way you would want to look and dancing, dating and interacting as that avatar?


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## Glinda (Apr 24, 2015)

Does anyone remember the actress Loretta Young?  I've always thought she was perfectly beautiful.  If I could look like anyone, it would be her.  Obviously, I'd have a long way to go . . .


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## applecruncher (Apr 24, 2015)

I remember Loretta Young.  She was attractive, but not a beauty (imo).


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## AZ Jim (Apr 24, 2015)

Loretta Young (before photoshopping)  Very beautiful.


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## applecruncher (Apr 24, 2015)

I said imo.  In my opinion.


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## Shalimar (Apr 24, 2015)

Lovely picture.


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## Shalimar (Apr 24, 2015)

I wish I was a more patient person. I have improved in that regard, but still under construction.


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## drifter (Apr 24, 2015)

I'm ugly. People like Cary Grant and Paul Newman are cranked out like copies on a printing press then along comes me. Shameful.


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## Meanderer (Apr 24, 2015)

Glinda said:


> Does anyone remember the actress Loretta Young?  I've always thought she was perfectly beautiful.  If I could look like anyone, it would be her.  Obviously, I'd have a long way to go . . .


She knew how to make a graceful entrance.


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## Pappy (Apr 24, 2015)

Shalimar said:


> I wish I was a more patient person. I have improved in that regard, but still under construction.



Same here, Shalimar. I'm much improved since retiring.


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## Josiah (Apr 24, 2015)

I've never liked the way I look when I smile. I imagine if I were a youngster today a dentist would have fixed things up, but not back in the 1940s. I would also like to be less diffident (see word for the day).


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## hollydolly (Apr 24, 2015)

Glinda said:


> Does anyone remember the actress Loretta Young?  I've always thought she was perfectly beautiful.  If I could look like anyone, it would be her.  Obviously, I'd have a long way to go . . .



Loratta Young was before my time, I've just looked at the video, and yes I agree she was attractive, lovely cheekbones.. but a classic beauty?.. no, mouth too wide, Hooked Nose.. not a beauty IMO...Now you Glinda are a natural beauty, that's My opinion, so you are better just looking like Glinda..


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## Shalimar (Apr 24, 2015)

Drifter, ugly, with respect I disagree, not pretty to be sure, but wonderfully rugged, in this woman's opinion. John Wayne wasn't  pretty either...


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## hollydolly (Apr 24, 2015)

Shalimar said:


> I wish I was a more patient person. I have improved in that regard, but still under construction.



Ditto...double ditto..Shali, patience has certainly never been one of my virtues..altho' like you I've learned to be less impatient in the last few years, but I still want to do things at breakneck speed and I get very irritated with people who take forever to do things which IMO could be done quickly.

I really wish I was much more patient than I am, but at least now I've learned not to voice my opinions to others and just quietly seethe


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## hollydolly (Apr 24, 2015)

AZ Jim said:


> How silly, You are a cutie.




ah you are so kind..


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## AZ Jim (Apr 24, 2015)

hollydolly said:


> ah you are so kind..




Not kind, realistic.  You have a smile that can bring a smile to a dead person....


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## Lon (Apr 24, 2015)

I am now and always have been pretty content with who and what I am. I am not saying that there couldn't be improvement, just that I am content with me the way I am.


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## AZ Jim (Apr 24, 2015)

Lon said:


> I am now and always have been pretty content with who and what I am. I am not saying that there couldn't be improvement, just that I am content with me the way I am.



Well, Lon, I not what I suppose we would all like to be, handsome, intelligent, capable and so on but I am like like you and Popeye "I yam what I yam."


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## oakapple (Apr 24, 2015)

One thing about being older..... You don't agonise about how you look all the time. I would like to be patient as others have said, I am someone who can't wait even a minute!Also taller, so I could see over fences( have always envied tall people that ability.)


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## Shalimar (Apr 24, 2015)

Holly, I hear you, but after years of ulcers, because I went to finishing school where I learned to say that's nice, rather than ********, I have learned to verbalize a certain amount of seething. I also think you are very pretty, indeed!


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## Shalimar (Apr 24, 2015)

Hi, Oakapple. I am also petite, it has drawbacks, but think how environmentally friendly we are. Cheap to feed, take up little space..lol. Still, I would have liked long legs.


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## hollydolly (Apr 24, 2015)

Shalimar said:


> Holly, I hear you, but after years of ulcers, because I went to finishing school where I learned to say that's nice, rather than ********, I have learned to verbalize a certain amount of seething. I also think you are very pretty, indeed!



Shali I have always been someone who said outright what I was thinking..and I have suffered from ulcers for years..so believe me out or in if you're gonna get those suckers you'll get them anyway. 

Thanks for the compliment chikadee...

Oakapple me too, I'm a titchy thing so yes I'd love to have been taller, even now, just a couple more inches would be helpful, particularly since I rarely wear high heels like I did when I was younger....


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## hollydolly (Apr 24, 2015)

Lon said:


> I am now and always have been pretty content with who and what I am. I am not saying that there couldn't be improvement, just that I am content with me the way I am.




That's what I would have liked to have been Lon...just happy in my own skin..( not necessarily outer skin but inner too) if I could have lived my life being content with everything , that would have been fine by me..but for various reasons I never could.


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## Shalimar (Apr 24, 2015)

I would have liked to have that level of self-acceptance. My son has it. It must be wonderful to have escaped the negative tapes that many of us struggle to disconnect from our thoughts.


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## Glinda (Apr 24, 2015)

hollydolly said:


> Loratta Young was before my time, I've just looked at the video, and yes I agree she was attractive, lovely cheekbones.. but a classic beauty?.. no, mouth too wide, Hooked Nose.. not a beauty IMO...Now you Glinda are a natural beauty, that's My opinion, so you are better just looking like Glinda..



Whoa!  Holly, you're wrong but I'm not going to argue with you!  Thanks a million!  
BTW, it's a mystery to me what you would find wrong with your own looks.  If there's such a thing as a Scottish Rose (equivalent of English Rose?), you are it, Holly.


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## jujube (Apr 24, 2015)

Dear Lord, make me more patient....and can you do it NOW?


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## Shalimar (Apr 24, 2015)

Jujube, wait in line! I was here first! Lol.


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## Cookie (Apr 24, 2015)

Well, I have to confess, I have rather big feet. Not huge, but not exactly dainty little Cinderella toes.  What a relief, the secret is out.


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## Bullie76 (Apr 24, 2015)

My personality. I've always been the Ed McMahon type. At gatherings I have always been the one to laugh at jokes or just be the listener. Kind of like Ed with Johnny. I chime in, but never have been a good story teller or leader in a conversation.


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## Shalimar (Apr 24, 2015)

Cookie, I am shocked, do you wear leg warmers as camoflage? Does it work?lol.:love_heart:


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## Lon (Apr 24, 2015)

oakapple said:


> One thing about being older..... You don't agonise about how you look all the time. I would like to be patient as others have said, I am someone who can't wait even a minute!Also taller, so I could see over fences( have always envied tall people that ability.)



I disagree about not agonizing about how you look as you get older. Although I am content with who and what I am, I am still vain and make every attempt to always look good and well groomed using what I have to the best of my ability.


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## Cookie (Apr 24, 2015)

So cruel Shali, so cruel   ......:sorrow: LOL   
Now I can never reveal my one other imperfection. :shussh:


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## Shalimar (Apr 24, 2015)

Cookie, am so sorry, will send wine and fudge ASAP. Now please tell me all about your teeny imperfection, I am certain it is very small.nthego:


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## SeaBreeze (Apr 24, 2015)

You're not alone Cookie, I have big feet too, don't really bother me as long as they're healthy and pain free.  I don't like that I can't watch a sad movie, commercial, etc. without getting a bit teary eyed, feeling great empathy for the people or animals involved.  I don't hate that part of my personality, but I don't like that I don't have better control over it.  I was like that as a young child too, would also get that way if I feel really happy for someone, etc.  I used to watch Queen for a Day with my mother before I started school, she was fine and I was red eyed.


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## Shalimar (Apr 24, 2015)

I am mushy too SeaBreeze. Used to hate it until I counseled so many who were disconnected from their emotions. Now I have a different perspective, I am grateful to have The ability to experience a rich variety of feelings. It is a sign of emotional well being .


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## Cookie (Apr 24, 2015)

ok to wine and fudge, make that 2 of each and all will be forgiven. and no more mocking, promise? Other teeny weeny imperfection is little scar on baby finger. God, why me?


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## applecruncher (Apr 24, 2015)

I'm impatient and stubborn. Stubbornness as in tenacious or persistent can be a good thing, but not always.


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## Shalimar (Apr 24, 2015)

Cookie, I will cease and desist if you wish, but not until you deal with that obscene blemish on your finger.


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## AZ Jim (Apr 24, 2015)

"No human face is exactly the same in its lines on each side, no leaf  perfect in its lobes, no branch in its symmetry. All admit irregularity  as they imply change; and to banish imperfection is to destroy  expression, to check exertion, to paralyze vitality. All things are  literally better, lovelier, and more beloved for the imperfections which  have been divinely appointed, that the law of human life may be Effort,  and the law of human judgment, Mercy.”   
  ―     John Ruskin


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## Cookie (Apr 24, 2015)

I cry too, SB, at happy things and sad things. I agree that its a fine human quality showing compassion for others and oneself.  My feet are good and healthy too without the pain or disfigurement that happens to so many women and they get me to where I want to go.


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## Susie (Apr 24, 2015)

I wish I were more extroverted, not always the nose in books, laptop, TV, or stewing over the past.
Why can't I be more outgoing, laughing, dancing, singing, joining clubs, taking courses, going to plays, lectures, and musicals?  :ambivalence:


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## Shalimar (Apr 24, 2015)

I have never understood why being stoic/outwardly emotionally frozen/unavailable are often viewed as desirable characteristics. Assuming one wishes to connect with others, how is being emotionally inarticulate helpful? For whatever time I have left, I choose to spend it with the warm and fuzzy people. In the end, only kindness matters. SB, you and Cookie are portable hugs. Namaste.:love_heart:


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## Josiah (Apr 24, 2015)

I'm very disappointed that my ****** workings no longer work very well. For so many years that aspect of me was such a consistent source of enjoyment. I really miss it.


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## AZ Jim (Apr 24, 2015)

Josiah said:


> I'm very disappointed that my ****** workings no longer work very well. For so many years that aspect of me was such a consistent source of enjoyment. I really miss it.



Sure, but think of the other things that are even more enjoyable like....uh.....well, there's.....uh....never mind.


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## Josiah (Apr 24, 2015)

Susie said:


> I wish I were more extroverted, not always the nose in books, laptop, TV, or stewing over the past.
> Why can't I be more outgoing, laughing, dancing, singing, joining clubs, taking courses, going to plays, lectures, and musicals?  :ambivalence:



It is really astonishing to me how many threads I've read in which members have forthrightly described themselves as introverts. I haven't really kept track but I'm sure it must constitute a significant majority of the members. In an earlier thread in which we all revealed our disappointments, I listed being too much of an introvert.


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## Shalimar (Apr 24, 2015)

Josiah, IMHO, more people are introverts than not. Extroverts have their problems too, I wonder why one seems to read less about them?


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## Cookie (Apr 24, 2015)

Shalimar said:


> I have never understood why being stoic/outwardly emotionally frozen/unavailable are often viewed as desirable characteristics. Assuming one wishes to connect with others, how is being emotionally inarticulate helpful? For whatever time I have left, I choose to spend it with the warm and fuzzy people. In the end, only kindness matters. SB, you and Cookie are portable hugs. Namaste.:love_heart:



Thank you Shalimar.  You are very very right.


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## Shalimar (Apr 24, 2015)

Josiah, I hear you. But having one's ****** aspects functioning perfectly can be problematic as well. Chewing the coffee table can lead to dentures, Cookie,stop laughing, it is not really funny.


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## Debby (Apr 24, 2015)

oakapple said:


> One thing about being older..... You don't agonise about how you look all the time. I would like to be patient as others have said, I am someone who can't wait even a minute!Also taller, so I could see over fences( have always envied tall people that ability.)





See over fences?  Are you a frustrated 'Peeping Tom' oakapple ?

And it's interesting how some threads accumulate posts slowly and others like this one are responded to so many times and so quickly.  Is there lots of self-loathing in this group?  Come on folks, you're all wonderful and unique just like you are.  Love yourselves!


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## ndynt (Apr 24, 2015)

I wish I were not so shy and I thoroughly hate that my body has become such a traitor.  That in the past year I have become unable to do the things I so enjoyed.  I hate having to ask for or accept help with things I could always manage by myself.  Of course many of the things were not what most women would enjoy doing LOL


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## Kadee (Apr 24, 2015)

I was thinking to myself about what it was I don't really like about myself , and one thing came to mind ,that in the past I was really empathic towards most people when I was working , ( I. Worked with disabled people for a number of years ) 
However I now find myself excusing myself to get away from people who just talk about their aches and pains or the number of operations they have had ... Have I lost my empathy for  people or just getting old and can't be bothered listening ?.


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## Susie (Apr 24, 2015)

Josiah said:


> It is really astonishing to me how many threads I've read in which members have forthrightly described themselves as introverts. I haven't really kept track but I'm sure it must constitute a significant majority of the members. In an earlier thread in which we all revealed our disappointments, I listed being too much of an introvert.


Would have kept quiet, had I realized that!
Being an introvert is quite common, then?


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## Underock1 (Apr 24, 2015)

Josiah said:


> It is really astonishing to me how many threads I've read in which members have forthrightly described themselves as introverts. I haven't really kept track but I'm sure it must constitute a significant majority of the members. In an earlier thread in which we all revealed our disappointments, I listed being too much of an introvert.



Put me down as another one. I like being an introvert. You learn a lot about the world from the right books, TV programs, and Web sites. What I don't like about myself, is not volunteering enough. When I was younger, I did donate a lot of time to our church, but never picked it up again when we moved to the suburbs. If asked, I'm always willing to help, but at this age, I am too jealous of my private time to get involved on a regular basis.


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## hollydolly (Apr 25, 2015)

One of the things I hate about myself is that I allow things to hurt me emotionally too much...it takes me ages to get over something hurtful or disloyal  someone has said or done to me I play it over and over in my mind  to the point of  me actually losing sleep over it, it _really_ upsets me..most people can shrug these things off, but not me..


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## merlin (Apr 25, 2015)

Josiah said:


> I'm very disappointed that my ****** workings no longer work very well. For so many years that aspect of me was such a consistent source of enjoyment. I really miss it.




Interestingly I have the opposite, the machinery works fine, but I have no desire to operate it, we need to work out some sort of swap  
I do feel though Josiah, that my position is easier to cope with than yours as I don't miss anything, and my enjoyment has moved to other areas of my life.


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## QuickSilver (Apr 25, 2015)

Late to the thread....  hmmmmm what do i NOT like about myself...  that's easy... My temper.. I have a pretty rough one..   I also carry grudges for YEARS...  Once crossed, there is little anyone can do to make amends..   So..  that's my honest assessment of what I DON'T like.


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## mitchezz (Apr 25, 2015)

How long have we got? 

I dislike my appearance, my bank balance, my procrastination over everyday things, my ability to burst into tears so easily, my untidiness, my lack of grandchildren, my health......................and as of 30 seconds ago my football team's inability to win two games in a row.


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## jujube (Apr 25, 2015)

AZ Jim said:


> "No human face is exactly the same in its lines on each side, no leaf  perfect in its lobes, no branch in its symmetry. All admit irregularity  as they imply change; and to banish imperfection is to destroy  expression, to check exertion, to paralyze vitality. All things are  literally better, lovelier, and more beloved for the imperfections which  have been divinely appointed, that the law of human life may be Effort,  and the law of human judgment, Mercy.”
> ―     John Ruskin



Have you ever seen when they've photo-shopped a picture, copying the left side and flipping it, so that the face is _exactly_ the same on both sides?  Very little personality in the face.


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## jujube (Apr 25, 2015)

Those dainty little Cinderella toes come at a cost.  Have you ever read the fairy tales in their original forms?  When they called them Grimm's Fairy Tales, they _meant_ *grim* (originally, fairy tales were not meant to be entertaining...they were meant to be "morality tales" for children to scare them into behaving.)  

In the original Cinderella tale, the stepmother, in order to make _her_ daughter's feet fit the glass slippers, whittled away at her heel until the shoe fit.  The prince was fooled (duh, dude....the slippers were _glass_, you didn't see all the gore?) but as he carried his wife-to-be off on the back of his horse, she left a trail of blood and a little bird flew down and chirped in the prince's ear to look at her feet.  He then turned back and was convinced to try the second daughter's foot.  Of course, hers was too big also, so loving ol' Mom chopped off her toes.  Again the prince was fooled (and at this point, he's beginning to look less and less like a good catch and more like the village idiot....there was a lot of inbreeding in those royal lines, ya know?) and trotted off once again with another prospective bride on the back of his horse.  Same trail of blood, same helpful little birdie chirping a warning.  So, it's back to the manor where he FINALLY tries the shoe on Cinderella (hopefully, washing all the blood out first) and as we know, they live happily ever after.   We can only assume the step-sisters found a good podiatrist and had their feet fixed.


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## jujube (Apr 25, 2015)

Josiah said:


> It is really astonishing to me how many threads I've read in which members have forthrightly described themselves as introverts. I haven't really kept track but I'm sure it must constitute a significant majority of the members. In an earlier thread in which we all revealed our disappointments, I listed being too much of an introvert.



I consider myself an extroverted introvert.  While I appear on the outside as the "class clown", I'm really a shy person.  I have to work very hard at it.


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## Josiah (Apr 25, 2015)

merlin said:


> Interestingly I have the opposite, the machinery works fine, but I have no desire to operate it, we need to work out some sort of swap
> I do feel though Josiah, that my position is easier to cope with than yours as I don't miss anything, and my enjoyment has moved to other areas of my life.



Merlin, you have my total admiration. I too should be seeking new vistas to enjoy and explore. What do you think of a trip across Siberia on the train to Vladivostok?


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## merlin (Apr 25, 2015)

Josiah said:


> Merlin, you have my total admiration. I too should be seeking new vistas to enjoy and explore. What do you think of a trip across Siberia on the train to Vladivostok?



Thanks for your admiration Josiah, but its just down to my low testosterone level, which was borderline treatable 5 years ago, not that I would go for the treatment with all the usual side effects associated with pharmaceutical drugs. 
The only other symptoms I have apart from loss of libido are passivity which is fine, and muscle weakness, which I can live with.

A trip on the Trans-Siberian would certainly take your mind off carnal matters I think, I would love to go but its not cheap at about $650.00 one way


http://www.seat61.com/Trans-Siberian.htm#.VTuiitJViko

[video]http://www.nbcnews.com/video/nightly-news/54327695#54327695[/video]


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## Underock1 (Apr 25, 2015)

QuickSilver said:


> Late to the thread....  hmmmmm what do i NOT like about myself...  that's easy... My temper.. I have a pretty rough one..   I also carry grudges for YEARS...  Once crossed, there is little anyone can do to make amends..   So..  that's my honest assessment of what I DON'T like.



Another "Don't like" for myself. When I blow up I am a truly horrible person. Thankfully, its rare, and I get over it almost immediately.
Not being critical here, but holding on to anger is physically unhealthy. I am not a Buddhist, but he had some great thoughts.
Let go of the past. "You will not be punished for your anger, but _by _your anger". A better one that I heard on "Everybody Loves Raymond; "Hate is like drinking poison, and waiting for the other person to die". Don't know why I'm telling you this. You obviously already know it. That other guy I talk to all day long is trouble enough for me.


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## Josiah (Apr 25, 2015)

> [/but its not cheap at about $650.00 one wayQUOTE]
> 
> Frankly $650 sounds very reasonable, but I doubt I'll ever make the trip. My anatomy is mostly lacking that back side cushion that so many people are blessed with.


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## Underock1 (Apr 25, 2015)

AZ Jim said:


> Loretta Young (before photoshopping)  Very beautiful.
> 
> View attachment 17335



Notice the strategically placed hanky?  Times have changed!


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## Shalimar (Apr 25, 2015)

I wish I would not periodically obsess over old mind tapes. I cannot alter the past, only my perception of it. Rehashing is futile, and a potential black hole of grief and regret. Most of the time I don't live from there, but when I do, it's like ripping my heart out by the roots, and serving it up to myself on toast.


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## muffin (Apr 25, 2015)

i would like to have been more extrovert , i am pretty quiet around strangers.
and i have always hated my legs from a very young age.


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## NancyNGA (Apr 25, 2015)

Shalimar said:


> I wish I would not periodically obsess over old mind tapes. I cannot alter the past, only my perception of it. Rehashing is futile, and a potential black hole of grief and regret. Most of the time I don't live from there, but when I do, it's like ripping my heart out by the roots, and serving it up to myself on toast.



Wow, Shalimar, we might be sisters. (I'm also the one who likes to sleep late )  

I do the same. Totally unproductive and destructive exercise, isn't it?


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## Shalimar (Apr 25, 2015)

Nancy, hello sister! Totally unproductive is right! The curse of sensitivity. Still, the benefits of an an empathetic nature outweigh the icky bits. Sleeping in rocks. Most of the people on SF seem to be (shudder) morning people.


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