# Single women, single men after 55, as well as other "groups" that have some wisdom to share..



## Denise1952 (Dec 15, 2017)

*Single women, single men after 55, as well as other "groups" that have some wisdom to share..*

..would be welcome.

I am a single lady, for many years now, and I still think "sometimes" that I would like a fella in my life.  For those similar to me, I mean that would consider a new mate later in life, this is especially a thread for you.  Others are more than welcome to share of course, and add bits, maybe even share their meeting someone later in life.

I think it might be fun to talk about "the battle of the sexes" or just "how do you meet someone", and maybe "did you" and have it be successful.  So that opens it up to married couples too.  Everyone has their own, unique life, some similarities as well that we share.

Christmas is the hardest time to be alone, but I've found talking with folks about these things helps me a lot, and even can give me hope when I find a couple that is meeting up later in life, and truly enjoying being a part of a couple again, or maybe for the first time.

Maybe this will just be a free-4-all, and hopefully, some fun mixed in, VERY welcome by the way. Like to pay attention to more serious sides of topics, but it is always a joy to have someone come up with a joke about it

just a few ideas for some wanting to share, but not sure what

What type of man/woman would you be willing to date?
Are you more accepting of others short-comings, or less?
Do you think you could not possibly meat someone you right for you at this age?
And what about mistletoe, when you see it do you wonder if anyone is around you would be willing to kiss?

These are just ideas, and probably not that good, so come up with any of your own material. 

One last comment about this, and I think older folks make much better "play the field" type from what I've seen. More so then young people, LOL!  Older fellas seem to want what they want, but like to move on to the next lady that they spot May be a good reason for that.

We can also get into the "age" of those we might date.  Ok, toss the "note in the bottle" out there and see who finds it


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## CindyLouWho (Dec 15, 2017)

Hey Denise, I'd be up for this....might be interesting..... I think


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## Denise1952 (Dec 15, 2017)

CindyLouWho said:


> Hey Denise, I'd be up for this....might be interesting..... I think



Thanks Cindy!  I thought it might be fun, especially just to talk about it with folks that feel the same.  I was yacking with the gals downstairs and one told me she has a friend that is 68, or older now, since.  But she met a fella that she saw at a class reunion, here in Crescent City.  And they got married


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## Aunt Bea (Dec 15, 2017)

I keep my eye out for a financially independent, fully clothed, plus one with a car and a place of their own.  

It would be nice to have someone to hang out with and do things with but so far all I've met are people with more flaws, baggage and idiosyncrasies than I'm willing to deal with.

I'll continue to keep my eyes open but I'm not hopeful and I'm not willing to _settle_ at this point in my life.

_"Que sera, sera Whatever will be, will be The future's not ours to see..."_


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## CindyLouWho (Dec 15, 2017)

Hey, good for her friend, that's great.  I hope she will be happy. 

I like your signature, Denise. It says it all!


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## Shalimar (Dec 15, 2017)

Excellent thread. I was quite content to be single, although I have always had close male friends. Never bargained for Philly, I mean, a Taoist monk? Lulz. Neither of us were looking for love, but here we are. Once the protracted immigration bs is finalised, we will marry and set up housekeeping here on southern Vancouver Island.


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## GeorgiaXplant (Dec 15, 2017)

1. He must have his own place to live.
2. He must have his own car to drive.
3. He must have his own income.
4. He must have a sense of humor.
5. He must be tolerant.
6. He must live in the present.
7. He must NOT be clingy.

Yeah. I'm picky.


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## AZ Jim (Dec 15, 2017)

GeorgiaXplant said:


> 1. He must have his own place to live.
> 2. He must have his own car to drive.
> 3. He must have his own income.
> 4. He must have a sense of humor.
> ...


AND alone!!!!  J/K


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## Denise1952 (Dec 15, 2017)

GeorgiaXplant said:


> 1. He must have his own place to live.
> 2. He must have his own car to drive.
> 3. He must have his own income.
> 4. He must have a sense of humor.
> ...



Hey Georgia, you have my list, LOL!! I know for a fact if I'd been more picky/careful in picking the men I did, I would not be alone.  I'm not going to settle for less now.


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## Denise1952 (Dec 15, 2017)

Aunt Bea said:


> I keep my eye out for a financially independent, fully clothed, plus one with a car and a place of their own.
> 
> It would be nice to have someone to hang out with and do things with but so far all I've met are people with more flaws, baggage and idiosyncrasies than I'm willing to deal with.
> 
> ...



That's what I would be up for, just dating, and actually having a guy that remembers how to "court" a gal.  The jokers on dating sites seem to think they don't even have to put on a clean shirt or comb there hair, or at least polish their heads

Now to be fair, some gals don't work very hard at presenting themselves, at least not in these dating profiles I've seen.  I think their for the birds, dating sites I mean.  Rather meet a guy in the produce section, especially if he's shopping organic, LOL!!  Clean cut, there is such a thing still


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## Denise1952 (Dec 15, 2017)

Just want to say also, that a man that is pickie, is attractive imo, and also has the same wants in a woman as Georgia listed. Another "hard to find" man, is a humble one.  And I imagine that's also true for finding a woman that is humble.  People that know how to apologize without an excuse attached, and one that can admit they were wrong.


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## Smiling Jane (Dec 15, 2017)

I realized a few years ago that I will be single the rest of my life, and I'm happy with it. I put up with things during my dating years that I would not tolerate now, and I like my life the way it is.

GeorgiaXplant, good list. My friends and I decided on the job (income), car, place to live a long time ago, but your additions are very good. One I would add is not being too close to his family. I just watched a friend get burned because her ex's family don't want him to have a woman, and they interfered until they broke up.


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## Aunt Bea (Dec 15, 2017)

Smiling Jane said:


> One I would add is not being too close to his family. I just watched a friend get burned because her ex's family don't want him to have a woman, and they interfered until they broke up.



That is a great point!

I know a couple of widowed folks who seemed to find happiness with another person late in life and their adult children put them through hell over it.


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## Denise1952 (Dec 15, 2017)

Aunt Bea said:


> That is a great point!
> 
> I know a couple of widowed folks who seemed to find happiness with another person late in life and their adult children put them through hell over it.



Been there done that ladies.  Never again, I have as much respect for the other people in a man's life, but when he takes a wife, she moves into at lease 2nd place.  Actually, I think it should be 1st place, but that's up to him, can he trust me? Has he picked well???


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## Smiling Jane (Dec 15, 2017)

Denise1952 said:


> Been there done that ladies.  Never again, I have as much respect for the other people in a man's life, but when he takes a wife, she moves into at lease 2nd place.  Actually, I think it should be 1st place, but that's up to him, can he trust me? Has he picked well???



That may well be the problem. Some families may be concerned about their inheritance, or they may be afraid their place in his life will be taken over by the newcomer.


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## Denise1952 (Dec 15, 2017)

Smiling Jane said:


> That may well be the problem. Some families may be concerned about their inheritance, or they may be afraid their place in his life will be taken over by the newcomer.



Yes, and depending if he picked a good, honest woman, it could be sad if they were more concerned about their "inheritance" than his happiness. Money does rule the majority of the world though doesn't it??


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## Smiling Jane (Dec 15, 2017)

Denise1952 said:


> Yes, and depending if he picked a good, honest woman, it could be sad if they were more concerned about their "inheritance" than his happiness. Money does rule the majority of the world though doesn't it??



Seems to me if you love someone, you want them to be happy. That doesn't seem to drive some of these families.


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## Denise1952 (Dec 15, 2017)

Smiling Jane said:


> Seems to me if you love someone, you want them to be happy. That doesn't seem to drive some of these families.



No, it doesn't seem to be in a lot of families.


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## jujube (Dec 15, 2017)

GeorgiaXplant said:


> 1. He must have his own place to live.
> 2. He must have his own car to drive.
> 3. He must have his own income.
> 4. He must have a sense of humor.
> ...



I'd be content if he still had a pulse.   I'm increasingly suspecting that the Spousal Equivalent is dead and nobody but me has noticed it yet - LOL.



> I know a couple of widowed folks who seemed to find happiness with another person late in life and their adult children put them through hell over it.



Thank goodness, neither his sons nor my daughter give a damn what we do.  That would involve way too much effort on their parts.  My granddaughter is happy for me and likes him.  My great-granddaughter thinks he's the best thing since squeaky toys.


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## GeorgiaXplant (Dec 16, 2017)

Ha. I'm not alone. I wanted to add another but couldn't think how to word it: 8. He must NOT be so involved with his kids/g'kids that he either has no time for me or expects me to be as involved with them as he is.

As for kids who don't approve of a parent's new relationship? Well, it's my considered opinion that when our kids become adults, it's not up to us to APPROVE of their choices about anything, merely to ACCEPT that they make their own decisions. We should expect no less from them.

Threats by children to abandon their parent(s) because they don't approve? Um. No. All it means is that we have (unfortunately) raised selfish and self-absorbed children who are more concerned with what they want than with their parents' happiness. Jealousy is an extremely juvenile emotion...an adult who exhibits jealousy is an adult suffering from a case of arrested development.

What we feel for a partner and what we feel for children are NOT the same thing. Loving one doesn't exclude loving the other. They're simply different kinds of love. For instance, we love our pets; it doesn't mean we love our partners or children less.


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## Denise1952 (Dec 16, 2017)

Well said Georgia.  I know guilt enters into it too, and sometimes a person with a new wife or husband neglects the other because they are trying to make things up to their kids.  A false sense of guilt, or morbidly dwelling on it is harmful to a new relationship too.  That's all part of the baggage I suppose.

I read a dating ad one time, by a fella and he wrote: I want a woman that has no baggage.  I remember laughing to myself, and wrote about some funny "dating ads" I'd seen in my time.  I wrote about the ad saying that he probably can't handle a woman with baggage because he hasn't room for more than he's already accumulated himself.


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## AZ Jim (Dec 16, 2017)

At a certain age there's a lot to say for companions rather than "love interests"..  Love could come but a good and trusted friend living with you can make life worth the effort.


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## GeorgiaXplant (Dec 16, 2017)

Denise, somebody with _no_ baggage is somebody who's led an extremely uneventful life, minus family and friends, minus interesting work, minus any interest in anything (much less another person), and likely uneducated and ignorant to boot. In short, a no-baggage person is either lying or boring, and it's a surprise he hasn't bored himself to death. Sounds like someone who could benefit from a long-term stay in a residential treatment center. Very long term.


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## Denise1952 (Dec 16, 2017)

AZ Jim said:


> At a certain age there's a lot to say for companions rather than "love interests"..  Love could come but a good and trusted friend living with you can make life worth the effort.



If two people aren't friends first, I don't see how they can end up love interests.  Too many relationships started off as "great sex" and then, later down the line, figured out they weren't even friend material for eachother.  I had a good and trusted friend and loved her like a sister because I knew she was a true friend.


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## Denise1952 (Dec 16, 2017)

GeorgiaXplant said:


> Denise, somebody with _no_ baggage is somebody who's led an extremely uneventful life, minus family and friends, minus interesting work, minus any interest in anything (much less another person), and likely uneducated and ignorant to boot. In short, a no-baggage person is either lying or boring, and it's a surprise he hasn't bored himself to death. Sounds like someone who could benefit from a long-term stay in a residential treatment center. Very long term.



LOL, agreed Georgia  I expect people to have baggage, and it's really about how they handle their baggage that counts I think  Like, move your dang bags so I can fit mine in too!!


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## NancyNGA (Dec 16, 2017)

Back to the original topic... ???

My list keeps getting smaller.  Every time I come up with something that I think 

This is a deal-breaker, 

_OR_

This is  a requirement... 

_THEN_

I meet a counter example. layful:

Even if  I just use the simple criteria: "He treats me well," I remember this



And then this:

There are a few people who don't deserve much respect, and I'd like him to know the difference.  

SO I GAVE UP ON LISTS.


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## Smiling Jane (Dec 16, 2017)

Denise1952 said:


> LOL, agreed Georgia  I expect people to have baggage, and it's really about how they handle their baggage that counts I think  Like, move your dang bags so I can fit mine in too!!



That's probably the wisest way to handle baggage, one of the things we talk and laugh about the most. My friends and I all have baggage and we're pretty open about it. Everyone has baggage but it doesn't need to take over your life or your relationships.


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## Denise1952 (Dec 16, 2017)

NancyNGA said:


> Back to the original topic... ???
> 
> My list keeps getting smaller.  Every time I come up with something that I think
> 
> ...



I think that is a very, good point.  About how the guy treats others, but it isn't always a sign that he'll treat a mate well, I found anyway. The respect thing is important for sure.  And no, if I act like an ass I don't deserve the respect.  All good stuff Nancy


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## Denise1952 (Dec 16, 2017)

Smiling Jane said:


> That's probably the wisest way to handle baggage, one of the things we talk and laugh about the most. My friends and I all have baggage and we're pretty open about it. Everyone has baggage but it doesn't need to take over your life or your relationships.



Exactly, at the same time, I've found it hard to keep some of mine from affecting my relationships, with men and women.  I'm still working on it


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## Denise1952 (Dec 16, 2017)

I'd love to meet a guy that likes himself, and is a secure person.  We get beat up in this life, but it's our attitude towards those things that separates the men from the boys, or the women from the girls, either way.  My heart is especially soft towards those that have been battered beyond recovery.  I don't want to go there right now, but people are welcome to talk about what they want to.

Humility is so attractive to me anyway, a humble guy.  Someone that's more old-fashioned in the "dating" way.  A gentleman, and the problem I see most, or the thing that turns me off of men's dating profiles, is they "always" talk about wanting physical contact.  There's nothing wrong with wanting that, but to me that is inappropriate when meeting someone for the first time.  I can't imagine a guy bringing it up on a first, real, life date.

I was wild when I was young, free love and all that, but I'm not who I was back then and I want the gentleman I was too stupid to look for when I was young.  Or pay any attention to when I actually met one.  Again, my picker was broke.  I wouldn't have known the "right" kind of guy, talk about stupid.


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## Smiling Jane (Dec 16, 2017)

Well, the right kind of guy wouldn't have blown my skirt up. Unless and until you work through it, the dysfunctional hook is stronger than a healthy one could ever be.

A friend laughs and says, "He's sick, he's mine. I saw him first." That sums it up, doesn't it?


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## Denise1952 (Dec 16, 2017)

Smiling Jane said:


> Well, the right kind of guy wouldn't have blown my skirt up. Unless and until you work through it, the dysfunctional hook is stronger than a healthy one could ever be.
> 
> A friend laughs and says, "He's sick, he's mine. I saw him first." That sums it up, doesn't it?



You're singin my song  I used to say "line up 10 men, 9 good guys, and 1 bad boy" and yep, you know which I picked, arrrg.


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## Shalimar (Dec 16, 2017)

What a thought provoking thread. I think one of the reasons Philly and I work is we didn’t come together out of neediness. Both of us were content to be alone. Starting as friends, love came as a surprise. We have differing opinions regarding political socioeconomic viewpoints, but decided to avoid conflict by discussing potentially toxic subjects with others. This way, we are each free to be ourselves without hurting the other.


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## Smiling Jane (Dec 17, 2017)

Denise1952 said:


> You're singin my song  I used to say "line up 10 men, 9 good guys, and 1 bad boy" and yep, you know which I picked, arrrg.



Let's face it, those guys are more exciting than a nice guy who won't think he has anything to gain by dominating or hurting you. 

I would probably add that one to any list I made, "He doesn't believe he deserves to be dominant and that I must be submissive to him."


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## Denise1952 (Dec 17, 2017)

Smiling Jane said:


> Let's face it, those guys are more exciting than a nice guy who won't think he has anything to gain by dominating or hurting you.
> 
> I would probably add that one to any list I made, "He doesn't believe he deserves to be dominant and that I must be submissive to him."



I somehow got "my perfect man" idea out of movies, and unfortunately it stuck.  2 movies I can think of when I see them now, are The Quiet Man w/John Wayne and Maureen O'Hara.  He got really rough with her in that, as well as other movies. But it made him out to be wonderful guy, and exciting, mysterious.  Looking back I'd take the storekeeper in movies, not "some" of the heros.


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## CeeCee (Dec 17, 2017)

In my dreams I'd love to find what I had with my husband.  In reality, I don't think I could live with anybody else, I'm too OCD and set in my ways now.  I was more accepting of differences and flaws when I first married at 19....Ive only been married once and he was the love of my life and we were happily married for 35 yrs until he died in 2004. (Thought I'd add that for members that don't know me)

It would be nice to have someone to do things with and definitely could use a handyman around the house but those aren't good enough reasons for me.

Of course if I fell madly in love with someone all my good sense would fly out the window but I just don't see that happening.

Im done with dating sites (have been for awhile).  I'm not even looking anymore.  If it happens it will be by chance or a miracle.


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## RadishRose (Dec 17, 2017)

I like the men who are emotionally mature enough to be nice guys. The "bad boys" are just that.


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## Smiling Jane (Dec 17, 2017)

RadishRose said:


> I like the men who are emotionally mature enough to be nice guys. The "bad boys" are just that.



Me too – now. It has taken a long time and a lot of heartbreak to get here.

I remember my parents enjoying John Wayne in the Quiet Man. I never could figure out why anyone would enjoy a brute like him.


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## Denise1952 (Dec 17, 2017)

RadishRose said:


> I like the men who are emotionally mature enough to be nice guys. The "bad boys" are just that.



I think men can be more sensitive, or maybe because of their larger heads?  But seriously, they seem to be more hurt over broken relationships, they don't seem to bounce back as easily.  Some seem to "jump" into relationships before they have recovered from the last.  I'm sure some gals are like that, maybe I am, I think I am ok, but some would disagree, LOL!  Remember that book "I'm ok, you're ok"?  I never read it, LOL, but my X that beat the tar outa me kept telling me to read it.  If I had of, maybe I'd left him sooner


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## CindyLouWho (Dec 17, 2017)

Did you watch the "new" Love Connection" show when it aired a few months back, the re-make of the old Chuck Woolery Love Connection. I loved watching that, so funny. I've never been on a dating site because of the bad reviews and because I don't want to pay to be on them, but, I would love to go on a dating show. 

Wish there was an easier, simpler way for people to connect to other people looking for L.O.V.E. :love_heart:

I need to invent a new app.:waiting:


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## Denise1952 (Dec 17, 2017)

CindyLouWho said:


> Did you watch the "new" Love Connection" show when it aired a few months back, the re-make of the old Chuck Woolery Love Connection. I loved watching that, so funny. I've never been on a dating site because of the bad reviews and because I don't want to pay to be on them, but, I would love to go on a dating show.
> 
> Wish there was an easier, simpler way for people to connect to other people looking for L.O.V.E. :love_heart:
> 
> I need to invent a new app.:waiting:



You go girl, I'd love to know how to make an App, that would be fun.  I agree it is hard to meet folks that are into dating, but I think the dating sites are a waste of time.  There are free ones, and I still have an ad up, but not catchin anything, LOL!  I'm gonna grab some lunch, but I'll be back, not going anywhere today


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## Olivia (Dec 17, 2017)

For me, I'm fine single. But my interest would be in someone who has strong opinions but mostly similar to mine (I like debate but only up to a point), and someone who likes conversations. He doesn't have to have done a lot of traveling but is up on the news of the world.  Someone near my age so we have remembrances in common. Doesn't have to have a lot of money but has enough to enjoy life.


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## CindyLouWho (Dec 17, 2017)

Hey Olivia, I think we're looking for the same guy! Ha!Ha!


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## Denise1952 (Dec 17, 2017)

I am too for the most part.  It's only some of the time I feel a bit down being alone.  I think a person really can get so used to it, changing back to living with someone could be very hard.


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## Denise1952 (Dec 17, 2017)

Wouldn't it be fun to have actual lists that we might have made when we were 17 or 18??  I'll have to think about it a little, but it would be fun to try and picture ourselves back then, and what we would put, say, on a dating ad:

Looking for a boyfriend: and then your list

1. Really cute (I know dang well that would have been my first, LOL!!
2. Has a neat car.
3. Likes to dance.
4.

I can't think of anymore right now??


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## CindyLouWho (Dec 17, 2017)

Denise there was a Hallmark Channel movie a while back and the girl makes this huge long list of what she is looking for in a husband. Well, of course, she ends up resisting, then falling for a guy the exact opposite of her list. So, there ya go!


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## Denise1952 (Dec 17, 2017)

That one I'd love, I love most all of the Hallmark romance movies  I like the humorous ones especially.  I was just looking for a movie to watch tonight.  I have a few Christmas ones that came from the Hallmark Channel.  One I don't have is "The Christmas Card" and I love that one

I wouldn't be surprised if a man does come into my life, if he was quite different than I "think" I want  but in good ways, not bad ways, lol!! He's got to know how to put the seat back down, LOL!!


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## debbie in seattle (Dec 18, 2017)

Makes me chuckle.   My mom lived in Florida and had a bunch of single lady friends living by her.   Their requirements for a man was that he had his own teeth and no walker.   An eligible, single gentleman would move into the neighborhood and all the ladies would get all excited and make friends with him.   It’s almost like they reverted back to school girls.


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## Smiling Jane (Dec 18, 2017)

debbie in seattle said:


> Makes me chuckle.   My mom lived in Florida and had a bunch of single lady friends living by her.   Their requirements for a man was that he had his own teeth and no walker.   An eligible, single gentleman would move into the neighborhood and all the ladies would get all excited and make friends with him.   It’s almost like they reverted back to school girls.



I'm surprised they didn't say he has to be continent. Seems like that one would be right up there with the teeth and the walker.


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## Denise1952 (Dec 18, 2017)

debbie in seattle said:


> Makes me chuckle.   My mom lived in Florida and had a bunch of single lady friends living by her.   Their requirements for a man was that he had his own teeth and no walker.   An eligible, single gentleman would move into the neighborhood and all the ladies would get all excited and make friends with him.   It’s almost like they reverted back to school girls.



LOL, sounds like they had a lot of fun


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## fuzzybuddy (Dec 18, 2017)

At our age, it is hard to meet an unattached male. At my local gov. sponsored Senior Center, it was possible to join if you were 62 and disabled. Well, I was. I remember the first day I walked in the door. Lots of women looked at me as though I were a "hunk". Believe me, this was the only time in my life when I had that feeling. I went to the center for a month, and I was always the only unattached male.


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## Denise1952 (Dec 18, 2017)

fuzzybuddy said:


> At our age, it is hard to meet an unattached male. At my local gov. sponsored Senior Center, it was possible to join if you were 62 and disabled. Well, I was. I remember the first day I walked in the door. Lots of women looked at me as though I were a "hunk". Believe me, this was the only time in my life when I had that feeling. I went to the center for a month, and I was always the only unattached male.



I would have looked too if you're as cute as your picture, lol  It is very hard to meet unattached folks.  Or many just are shy, maybe don't think they are attractive anymore because of age.  I've taken out all the mirrors in my apartment (ok, they all broke, lol).


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## Smiling Jane (Dec 18, 2017)

fuzzybuddy said:


> At our age, it is hard to meet an unattached male. At my local gov. sponsored Senior Center, it was possible to join if you were 62 and disabled. Well, I was. I remember the first day I walked in the door. Lots of women looked at me as though I were a "hunk". Believe me, this was the only time in my life when I had that feeling. I went to the center for a month, and I was always the only unattached male.



There's a fairly large group of single males at the city-sponsored senior center I go to. There's a center across town where I've taken the AARP safe driver courses that seems to be nearly all widowed or otherwise unattached men. I was very surprised first time I went there. Don't know why, but I didn't expect it. Quite a few of the activities at the centers are things men would enjoy.


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## Denise1952 (Dec 18, 2017)

Ok, I think we should all head on over to Jane's Senior Center, course then we might end up having to draw straws since we'd probably out-number the fellers 
:sosad:


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## Smiling Jane (Dec 18, 2017)

Denise1952 said:


> Ok, I think we should all head on over to Jane's Senior Center, course then we might end up having to draw straws since we'd probably out-number the fellers
> :sosad:




The few of them I met all wanted someone to cook and clean for them, and probably other duties as well. Unpaid of course.


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## Denise1952 (Dec 18, 2017)

Man, thats a lot of excitement for me Jane!! Don't know if I could handle one of those, bad boys, !!


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## Smiling Jane (Dec 18, 2017)

Denise1952 said:


> Man, thats a lot of excitement for me Jane!! Don't know if I could handle one of those, bad boys, !!



I know. Too funny. What I took away is that I wanted no part of it.

Another thing I would add to the list is must be able to take care of himself. I'm not signing up for the job. When I was a young married in the 60s it was expected that a woman worked as many hours as a man and then went home and did all of the cooking and cleaning. If nothing else, liberation must mean the end of that kind of slavery.


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## fuzzybuddy (Dec 19, 2017)

The center I attended was mostly women. All the men were there with their wives. And as far as finding "Mr. Right", it depends on what you want.  Nobody, at age 65 is as desirable as a 21 year old. And whatever relationship you desire, it will be temporary. And things will change.


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## Denise1952 (Dec 19, 2017)

Smiling Jane said:


> I know. Too funny. What I took away is that I wanted no part of it.
> 
> Another thing I would add to the list is must be able to take care of himself. I'm not signing up for the job. When I was a young married in the 60s it was expected that a woman worked as many hours as a man and then went home and did all of the cooking and cleaning. If nothing else, liberation must mean the end of that kind of slavery.



I wouldn't mind taking care of a fella, although I would hope he's been trained right and be willing to help me out with some things, not be lazy. I cook for myself, 3 meals a day, and if I met a guy, I would so love that he liked to cook too.  Oh, and was actually good at it, LOL!  No, he doesn't have to be a Culinary graduate

Any guys reading?? What would you cook for your lady, say, for dinner??


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## Denise1952 (Dec 19, 2017)

Ok, here's a site, this is full of ideas on dating in later years! I'm we can have a laugh about some of these, but who knows??

Check this out, and put anything up you find on Seniors Dating after 60!! LOL!! This is pretty cool


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## Denise1952 (Dec 19, 2017)

This one I like even better I LOVE this lady


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## CindyLouWho (Dec 19, 2017)

I just turned 55 a few months ago, but "speed" dating sounds about right at this age. Life is too short!:love_heart:


Cute videos, Denise!


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## Denise1952 (Dec 19, 2017)

Sorry one more post, but this shows speed-dating events throughout the US.  I am still looking for other countries as well but maybe if you live in other than the US you may have some info for us??

Man, of course if you're in a larger city you'll find plenty of these events!! Lucky gals, I would do this, what a blast if nothing else

http://www.pre-dating.com//speed-dating-events/


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## Denise1952 (Dec 19, 2017)

CindyLouWho said:


> I just turned 55 a few months ago, but "speed" dating sounds about right at this age. Life is too short!:love_heart:
> 
> 
> Cute videos, Denise!



I hear you cindy, and many of these are for 50 and over!!  I am ready to move!  Most of the things I would love to do are in larger cities. I'm turning 65 this month so I just need to start looking at different areas to live.  Ina and I talked about it a lot, but I couldn't handle Texas as it's just too different than what I am used to, weather-wise.  These videos are taken in Wisconsin and what was the other  I think like Indianna, so more midwest, or Great Lakes States.


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## CindyLouWho (Dec 19, 2017)

Oh, well I was going to say, Come to Florida!.... but too warm for you!. I'm originally from Northern New York and miss the nice people and change of scenery....maybe, hopefully I can head North again some day. I've never been a "Florida" person, I guess because it's not my true home and what I am accustomed to.


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## Denise1952 (Dec 19, 2017)

I know it sounds kind of odd to some, but Florida never appealed to me because I like the 4 seasons.  Up, too, far North and I think too "much" snow, so maybe something more moderate in it's 4 seasons, hah, that's my home-State, Oregon!  But the only larger population is really Portland and I would not move back there I don't think

I've always been fascinated with New England States, and Great Lakes areas.  I read books that are set in the Great Lakes areas. A larger city would have plenty of public transportation so I could finally get rid of my truck.  Plus, so many things to do, but BIG city would be too much for this country-gal I'm afraid

I've heard New York State has lovely cities and towns but when I hear that name, a automatically picture New York City!! Eek! LOL!!


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## oldman (Dec 20, 2017)

First, I have been married for just over 50 years. Last night, I was on a flight returning from Tampa and sat in a row of three seats. The lady had the window seat and I had been assigned the aisle seat. After she learned from the flight attendants that I was a retired pilot for United, we had a nice conversation for about half of our short trip. She asked me questions about flying and somehow the conversation got turned around into how did she like being single at 60 years old. She was perfectly fine with it living alone with her cat and not having to report back to anyone or worry about her partner and a lot of other stuff that is associated with marriage life. By the time we had finished the conversation, I was about half envious and thought, "Gee, maybe I have been really missing out on a better life."

I guess it's like anything else, you have to try it to see if you like it. I know that she sure convinced me that she did.


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## Denise1952 (Dec 20, 2017)

oldman said:


> First, I have been married for just over 50 years. Last night, I was on a flight returning from Tampa and sat in a row of three seats. The lady had the window seat and I had been assigned the aisle seat. After she learned from the flight attendants that I was a retired pilot for United, we had a nice conversation for about half of our short trip. She asked me questions about flying and somehow the conversation got turned around into how did she like being single at 60 years old. She was perfectly fine with it living alone with her cat and not having to report back to anyone or worry about her partner and a lot of other stuff that is associated with marriage life. By the time we had finished the conversation, I was about half envious and thought, "Gee, maybe I have been really missing out on a better life."
> 
> I guess it's like anything else, you have to try it to see if you like it. I know that she sure convinced me that she did.



I would have loved to have a 50 year friend/companion and love of my life oldman  Some people are cut out to be alone.  I am alone, so maybe it is the way it's supposed to be.  I chalk it up to not making wise decisions when it came to dating.

I'm glad the lady is happy, but I also have to add, that if it were me sitting next to you, I would have focused on the "good" of being single as soon as I found out you were already taken, I mean to let you know I wasn't trying to hustle up on a married guy Denise PS but if you were single, I might have mentioned how I wouldn't mind meeting someone of the same mind, wanting a companion/friend/lover


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## oldman (Dec 21, 2017)

She was a professional lady that was keeping very busy. She also volunteered for a group that helps those that have just lost loved ones. She told me that in a way she was grateful for being single because she would not have the time or energy that it takes to keep a happy marriage and she is right about that. I remember the two years that I was flying the Chicago to Honolulu route. For me, it was a real career move, but my wife did not see it that it way. She only saw how it affected her life and that I wasn't home very much. After two years, I had to leave that route and go back to only flying in the states, so that I would be home more often. It was still good to be flying, but the Chicago to Honolulu route really gave my career a boost, so it did cause some friction between us. I can only imagine how some over the road long haul truckers may feel at times if their wife is the same as mine was.


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## Denise1952 (Dec 21, 2017)

oldman said:


> She was a professional lady that was keeping very busy. She also volunteered for a group that helps those that have just lost loved ones. She told me that in a way she was grateful for being single because she would not have the time or energy that it takes to keep a happy marriage and she is right about that. I remember the two years that I was flying the Chicago to Honolulu route. For me, it was a real career move, but my wife did not see it that it way. She only saw how it affected her life and that I wasn't home very much. After two years, I had to leave that route and go back to only flying in the states, so that I would be home more often. It was still good to be flying, but the Chicago to Honolulu route really gave my career a boost, so it did cause some friction between us. I can only imagine how some over the road long haul truckers may feel at times if their wife is the same as mine was.



I had a very, active, busy husband too, even though he was home every night.  I worked during the day as well but it "felt" like he didn't have time for me.  What I realized, later in life, is that I needed to have some hobbies, and things to do besides expect him to "entertain" me.  That's all I'll say about that, but I learned a lot of things late in my life.  

I heard a famous man's wife say when asked what it was like for her to see so little of her husband and she said that one day with her husband was like a year with any other man.  She loved him a lot.  Some relationships would be way better if people "didn't" see so much of eachother, LOL!!


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## HipGnosis (Dec 21, 2017)

Denise1952 said:


> I somehow got "my perfect man" idea out of movies, and unfortunately it stuck.  2 movies I can think of when I see them now, are The Quiet Man w/John Wayne and Maureen O'Hara.  He got really rough with her in that, as well as other movies. But it made him out to be wonderful guy, and exciting, mysterious.  Looking back I'd take the storekeeper in movies, not "some" of the heros.



Pardon me??  Maybe it's my perspective as a man, but...  in 'The quiet man', SHE made The Duke sleep on the floor even though he jumped thru hoops to marry her.  I don't think of 'him being rough on her' when I think of that movie (though I know what scene you are referring to).    I think of: beautiful women being to high maintenance.


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## Denise1952 (Dec 21, 2017)

HipGnosis said:


> Pardon me??  Maybe it's my perspective as a man, but...  in 'The quiet man', SHE made The Duke sleep on the floor even though he jumped thru hoops to marry her.  I don't think of 'him being rough on her' when I think of that movie (though I know what scene you are referring to).    I think of: beautiful women being to high maintenance.



I never said she was Miss Innocent, I'm saying that it's wrong to be physically abusive to a woman, and if you want to get deeper into my beliefs, I do not believe a woman being abusive to a man because she knows she can get away with it either. The movie was an example, I could name other movies as well, and maybe I best not choose any of "The Dukes" because I might offend someone.  Now there's a trick, speaking about anything and not offending someone


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## grapenutpudding (Jan 6, 2018)

I'm 61 and have been alone for many years. I am feeling particularly alone right now (parents gone, no children) and would love to have a close male friend but not sure I could go through the dating scene. Ugh. Too old for that. Not even sure I can do romance/sex. But companionship/affection...that would be great.


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## GeorgiaXplant (Jan 7, 2018)

Okay, Denise...there you go. Grapenutpudding lives in Cleveland, and that's definitely Midwest. There's just one thing about living in or very near any city: if that's where one already lives, they've adjusted themselves to the cost of living. Move to one? Who the heck can afford it? 

If I didn't have my granny flat attached to DD/DSIL's house, I certainly couldn't afford to live here, and I'm not exactly poverty stricken! Not well off by any means but have an income that can sustain me and have $$ left over for savings and foolish pleasures. If I had to rent a place here comparable to mine, it would cost in the neighborhood of $1000/month.

All over the country there are lots of senior living places with rent adjusted according to income. The problem is getting past the long, long waiting lists, and in order to get on a waiting list, you need to be a resident of the area where you want to be. Can you support yourself on the economy of the place you'd move to while you wait?

It's not that there aren't lots of others right where you are who are lonely and looking for companionship, male or female, it's that it takes a real effort to find them. The same old advice applies...churches, classes, senior centers, meet-ups, friends/neighbors, volunteering at shelters/food banks/animal shelters and wherever else there's a need for volunteers. Volunteers meet other volunteers, students meet other students, etc., and by finding a place to volunteer/take a class or whatever that you're interested in, you meet volunteers/students/others where you're volunteering, with whom you have at least one common interest.

Changing your location changes nothing except the scenery and/or the climate.


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## kteas1 (Feb 2, 2018)

As a man, I don't worry too much about needs. I cook my own meals, clean dishes, do my own laundry, more my yard etc etc. I don't need an employee. Nor do i have any real criteria for the other, other than enjoyable. Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. Problem is I live on the Earth. My children laugh at me, but I have fun.

Years ago I liked at dating sites, felt like people were posting resumes. Or, people posting desires like you were qualifying for a job. Retired, don't need a job. Don't need to wake up feeling like I have a bunch of requirements for the day. If you don't like plums, but like grapefruit (can't stand grapefruit), then I go the store and get both. No big deal. Life's big problems. If you can't laugh and realize people have their differences, well there is the problem. My kids might ask, dad why do you always put bla bla bla on on top of your toast, I will answer, because putting it on the bottom gets my plate all sticky. Do I put it on top of yours? No. Then why worry about it?
    I watch the grandkids for my daughter's. Dad, I don't let the boys eat this after 7 at my house. Ok, I'll remember that when I'm at your house, lucky for them they are at my house tonight.  My son in law usually starts laughing, then my daughter turns to my son in law and says, you are why in the way I am? We all laugh, and u say have fun you guys, bye, we'll be fine. They come to get the boys, and the house is a mess, we are sleeping on the couch, and then she ask, how late did they stay up? I ummmm, I guess about midnight we feel asleep. That's life. They come over for a holiday, bring a couple of dishes, and I get, oh dad I brought this, I say yuk and they know I don't like it, we all start laughing and I thank God for the moment. But all know, in a crunch I'm there for them. A life emergency, I always get the call. I enjoy the people on here, the grouchy, happy whatever, life is short. I think if we worrief more about how we will treat the other, things would be better. 

Sent from my SM-G950U1 using Tapatalk


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## sortbreadlover (Feb 17, 2018)

i feel the same way.  too many men i know are carrying . far too much stuiffaround tosuit me


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## TabbyAnn (Mar 2, 2018)

AZ Jim said:


> AND alone!!!!  J/K



Being alone isn’t the worse thing that could happen. The worse thing is being with a man who is unattractive and unacceptable. The interactive nature of life today means most single people aren’t actually alone and therefore you need to have characteristics that appeal to them for singles to spend their spare time with you.


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## James (Mar 2, 2018)

Second time around for both my wife and I.  Never say never but we both agree at this point that if we suddenly became single it would stay that way.


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## C'est Moi (Mar 2, 2018)

TabbyAnn said:


> Being alone isn’t the worse thing that could happen. The worse thing is being with a man who is unattractive and unacceptable. The interactive nature of life today means most single people aren’t actually alone and therefore you need to have characteristics that appeal to them for singles to spend their spare time with you.



My cousin was married to an abusive man.   After his death, I asked her how she was holding up.   Her reply was, "the only thing worse than being alone is wishing that you were."   That was 30 years ago and I have never forgotten it.


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## KingsX (Jan 4, 2019)

C'est Moi said:


> My cousin was married to an abusive man.   After his death, I asked her how she was holding up.   Her reply was, "the only thing worse than being alone is wishing that you were."   That was 30 years ago and I have never forgotten it.




I learned that lesson at an early age.  I was married to an abusive man for three years. I've been blissfully single ever since.

.


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## 61falcon (Jan 30, 2019)

I live alone but have fairly regular contact with my children who all live within 100 miles and most much closer.The thing I miss the most is affectionate human skin to skin contact with someone of the opposite sex and you cannot get that from family.I yearn to have a female companion of similar age that I can get together with periodically and enjoy each others company in an affectionate manner.


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## Betty&Jeremy (Mar 12, 2019)

*Ladies please stop looking for your own age or older*



Denise1952 said:


> Thanks Cindy!  I thought it might be fun, especially just to talk about it with folks that feel the same.  I was yacking with the gals downstairs and one told me she has a friend that is 68, or older now, since.  But she met a fella that she saw at a class reunion, here in Crescent City.  And they got married



For the longest time_,_I was seeking a guy my age or older. Then I turned 69, I also had a new neighbor move into my Condo complex who was a successful 34 year old guy. We become friends and he would always do me favors, including picking me up when I needed a ride from the doctor. I always saw him as a younger friend, but would never think of being with him. But in time he was very loving and eventually we kissed one day and the rest is history. He is now my fiance and yes he is 35 years younger, but I am so much more happier and don't regret it. I told my family and friends indirectly by posting pictures of my "neighbor" on my Facebook page. Slowly I gave clues even though he moved in and finally announced our relationship when we got engaged. Some were shocked, but I am happier. I wish I meant a much younger guy years ago, but it's truly amazing being in such special relationship.

It's very hard to find men our age, also they are not as active. This is why when you say, I think I will be alone, open up your options as you will be much happier.


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## BillySink (Mar 14, 2019)

It seems older men are easily discounted by women their age.


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## C'est Moi (Mar 14, 2019)

BillySink said:


> It seems older men are easily discounted by women their age.



That's because some older men are looking for "a nurse or a purse."


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## BillySink (Mar 14, 2019)

C'est Moi said:


> That's because some older men are looking for "a nurse or a purse."



Nurses are free and I don't carry a purse but I'll take your word for it.


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## fmdog44 (Mar 14, 2019)

Where do you think money rates as the main cause for divorce?


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## BillySink (Mar 15, 2019)

fmdog44 said:


> Where do you think money rates as the main cause for divorce?



I guess money is more of an attraction than a reason to split but really don't know.

Doesn't factor in for me either way.


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## Victor (Mar 15, 2019)

I do not know any man looking for a nurse or purse, and I dislike that insinuation.
I certainly am not, but this opinion is out there, based solely on anecdotes and occasional
news stories.  Sure, numerous con men will take woman's money, but these are a tiny fraction.
Defend yourself by not trusting anyone with anything tangible of value.
Some women are looking for a wallet and a gentleman to look after them,
take them places and dine out and do nice things without necessarily giving back. A lot of men are
glad to oblige and do this. Not me. And ladies aren't expected to pick up the check.
_I'm not judging, not at all._


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## BillySink (Mar 15, 2019)

Victor said:


> I do not know any man looking for a nurse or purse, and I dislike that insinuation.
> I certainly am not, but this opinion is out there, based solely on anecdotes and occasional
> news stories.  Sure, numerous con men will take woman's money, but these are a tiny fraction.
> Defend yourself by not trusting anyone with anything tangible of value.
> ...



I don't like the whole premise, either side. Figure at our age, we would just be kind to each other and enjoy, in a straightforward way.


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## orangele (Apr 9, 2019)

I dont see anything wrong or excessive about your list.


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## Ronni (Apr 9, 2019)

Well, as one of those folks who found my sweet man in my 60's and he 70, I'm proof it can happen.  We're engaged and will be married next year.  I was perfectly happy being on my own...espcially after a 30+ years abusive marriage, I had no plans to wed again.  I dated some, mostly the men I met when I danced (I'm a ballroom dancer) but just for the social aspects.  

I met Ron zip lining of all things!  Just one of those chance meetings. It was a novelty to find a man my age as active as I.  We started doing active things together, and the companionship was lovely.  Up to that point, most of my adventures were done in the company of my kids, or them and their friends, or other young friends, because most folks my age that I knew just weren't interested, or able.  



> The thing I miss the most is affectionate human skin to skin contact with someone of the opposite sex and you cannot get that from family.I yearn to have a female companion of similar age that I can get together with periodically and enjoy each others company in an affectionate manner.



I don't know if this poster is talking about sex or not.  I'm not when I say that I did miss that tactile contact.  It had nothing to do with sex, and everything to do with hugs and snuggles and just being up close and personal in a tactile way.  I am a very huggy type person, I hug my kids, sling an arm around my friends, touch and pat and want that physical connection.  I did miss that, but absolutely not enough to be with a man just for that!  Ron is the same way though, so that's an added plus.


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## fmdog44 (Apr 10, 2019)

I will go to may grave not understanding anyone staying in an abusive marriage.


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## Ruthanne (Apr 10, 2019)

I think I have been too picky over the years but really haven't found someone that suits me well.  I think I am more tolerant now and much less picky...

All I ask for is that he is....

Breathing~lollayful:


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## KingsX (Apr 12, 2019)

fmdog44 said:


> I will go to may grave not understanding anyone staying in an abusive marriage.




Apparently, you've never been a woman with no money and no where else to go.

Some women stay because of a child... others finally get the courage to leave to protect the child.


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## Bridget Truesdale (May 9, 2019)

Oh Georgia, you are not picky.  You are my TWIN!  If I were to write my own list, it would be what you said


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## Denise1952 (May 31, 2019)

Ronni said:


> Well, as one of those folks who found my sweet man in my 60's and he 70, I'm proof it can happen.  We're engaged and will be married next year.  I was perfectly happy being on my own...espcially after a 30+ years abusive marriage, I had no plans to wed again.  I dated some, mostly the men I met when I danced (I'm a ballroom dancer) but just for the social aspects.
> 
> I met Ron zip lining of all things!  Just one of those chance meetings. It was a novelty to find a man my age as active as I.  We started doing active things together, and the companionship was lovely.  Up to that point, most of my adventures were done in the company of my kids, or them and their friends, or other young friends, because most folks my age that I knew just weren't interested, or able.
> 
> ...



I love what you had to say and share about you meeting someone special.  You did what I am trying to do, which is being active, doing the things I love on my own.  Nothing as cool as zip-lining, but I've always believed being out there is the only way to meet others that truly "do" those activities I love, not just say they do them.

I didn't like the gym, and not do all my body-weight-training at home, and even my dancing.  We don't have a dance club or I would be there for sure  I'm not sure I want anything more than dating, but that tells me I am no longer anything like "desperate" to meet someone.  Rarely lonely, I suppose set in my ways, and really, not feeling the urge to share my life.  But dating, yes, with the right kind of man.

Again I was just so glad to see your post on this thread I made so long ago.  Man have I changed, kind of like reading a diary and seeing how much I've changed (hopefully grown in some wisdom, more will be revealed,  Denise

PS I did meet a guy that asked me out when I was working out at the gym.  I was wrong to assume "just because" he liked staying in shape, and into nutrition like me, I would enjoy dating him.  Found out he had a gal, not married, but still, because she was too ill to do all he wanted, he was trolling for someone else.  Long story, but I just have to be a bit smarter, as he got nasty with me when I said no to a 2nd date.


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## Denise1952 (May 31, 2019)

fmdog44 said:


> I will go to may grave not understanding anyone staying in an abusive marriage.



I think only being in one can help others understand.  I'm glad you never suffered that, and the choices you have to make.


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## Denise1952 (May 31, 2019)

C'est Moi said:


> My cousin was married to an abusive man.   After his death, I asked her how she was holding up.   Her reply was, "the only thing worse than being alone is wishing that you were."   That was 30 years ago and I have never forgotten it.



I would agree for sure.


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## Denise1952 (May 31, 2019)

BillySink said:


> It seems older men are easily discounted by women their age.



The same thoughts I've had about men my age wanting younger women.  But honestly, I've only seen ads that show their age preferences


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## Denise1952 (May 31, 2019)

Ruthanne said:


> I think I have been too picky over the years but really haven't found someone that suits me well.  I think I am more tolerant now and much less picky...
> 
> All I ask for is that he is....
> 
> Breathing~lollayful:



I think I would fill in the blank with "breathing" layful:


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## Denise1952 (Jun 16, 2019)

Denise1952 said:


> I think I would fill in the blank with "breathing" layful:



Geesh, I didn't see you did fill in the blank Ruthanne, LOL  

I was thinking about starting a thread and realized I started this one in 2017?  Or did I read that wrong.  Who knows, who cares, LOL!  I'm still alone, 21 years, something like that but who's counting.  I just don't go that many places, and not much into believing in "fate" or even miracles.  I just feel the pickins get slimmer and slimmer as the years go by.  Maybe I should believe in fate, it's fate I am to live alone.  And miracles?  Yeah, probably a miracle for the guy that dodged a bullet by not meeting up with me :biggrin-new:

I did have a date, about a month ago??  He was tall, and nice looking in a rugged sort of way.  Had some health issues but I admired him because he was doing his best to get exercise at the gym, and eat right.  Then, while we were having dinner he divulged having a "best friend" (female) that was in bad shape, and couldn't really live her life anymore   I asked him if she'd be upset to know he was out with a gal and he said "she might be".  He said they don't live together, but I just wanted nothing to do with a guy that already has a best friend (woman).  I'm selfish, and want a guy that I can be best friends with.  And one that isn't going to go out with other women if I get to ill to go out etc.

So there's my kinda luck.  There's more to it, and I doubt I would have wanted a 2nd date anyway, but I couldn't quit thinking about her.  I just never would date anyone, never did, that I know of, that had even a girlfriend.  Figured there was no future with a guy like that.

I'm sure there are circumstances someone may come up with that it would be ok to do.  Have at it if you want to share them.


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## Olivia (Jun 16, 2019)

The question is, why do you really need someone?


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## Denise1952 (Jun 16, 2019)

Well for me personally that wouldn't be my question  My question would be, do I want a man in my life.


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## Betty&Jeremy (Jun 18, 2019)

Denise1952 said:


> The same thoughts I've had about men my age wanting younger women.  But honestly, I've only seen ads that show their age preferences



A year ago I would not consider anyone more than 5 years younger than me until I met my then boyfriend and current fiance. I thank him for pushing it because I would have never even gone there, but he is 35 years younger than me and he saw to it that we would be a couple. I thought he was crazy back then, but now that we live together, I would have been crazy turn him down. He has been wonderful and so happy he pushed the envelope with me.


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## Denise1952 (Jun 18, 2019)

Betty&Jeremy said:


> A year ago I would not consider anyone more than 5 years younger than me until I met my then boyfriend and current fiance. I thank him for pushing it because I would have never even gone there, but he is 35 years younger than me and he saw to it that we would be a couple. I thought he was crazy back then, but now that we live together, I would have been crazy turn him down. He has been wonderful and so happy he pushed the envelope with me.



It's about personal choice and just because I may not understand why some are together, it's not my business.  I am glad you two are happy.  It's not good to be alone, but as I mentioned above, for me I wonder sometimes if it's just I am not ready to even date.  I always seem to see things I am not willing to accept about someone, I mean, in order to spend time with them.  If I can't even find someone I want to date more than once, doubt I'll be finding anyone to spend the rest of my life with.  Which, the rest of my life,  it's all going way to fast for me nthego:


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## mseun (Jun 21, 2019)

Ruthanne, Can I help complete that statement ?


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## Brookswood (Aug 29, 2021)

Finding a gal to go out with is not hard.  Finding a gal who makes for a good long term relationship (dare I say even marriage) is hard.


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## Fiddle1973 (Sep 17, 2021)

I keep coming back to read this thread, mostly to hear from other folks like me, I understand some of the sentiments about not wanting to be alone. But not really wanting to date, either. 
Sometimes I think I’d like to have my own room that I rent in a house with a few other women my age, for the company. Especially when holidays are approaching, it always makes me look back at all the times I had with family-so many have moved away or passed on.


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## Mr. Ed (Sep 18, 2021)

I am married, so I have no wisdom to share.


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## Lawrence00 (Sep 18, 2021)

I did wish for someone to help fold my sheets, but have given up all hope. Really, wrinkles are not so bad.


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## Tabby Ann (Dec 6, 2021)

With so many clubs, groups, and organizations dealing with everything in a local community from gardening to motorcycling, I'm surprised there aren't any senior singles clubs with interesting activities for local seniors to meet each other.


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## Ruthanne (Dec 6, 2021)

mseun said:


> Ruthanne, Can I help complete that statement ?


I already did if you read my entire post...lol.  And am no longer looking for a man.


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## MarciKS (Dec 9, 2021)

Brookswood said:


> Finding a gal to go out with is not hard.  Finding a gal who makes for a good long term relationship (dare I say even marriage) is hard.


same applies for the men. it is difficult to find true love.


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## MarciKS (Dec 9, 2021)

Denise1952 said:


> It's not good to be alone,


I'm not sure I agree with this. Where relationships are concerned I think it's wrong to make one size fits all statements such as this. I am better alone than I am with a mate. If I had a mate now I would be very unhappy. Mainly because my needs have changed with age. And from past experiences I just don't have any interest in giving it another go. I like where I am in my life right now. I don't need or want an other.


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## Gaer (Dec 9, 2021)

Ruthanne said:


> I already did if you read my entire post...lol.  And am no longer looking for a man.


What number is this post @Ruthanne?  I'd like to read it but I can't find it.


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## Pepper (Dec 9, 2021)

MarciKS said:


> I am better alone than I am with a mate.


Maybe because you've not been with the right one.


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## David777 (Dec 9, 2021)

(Notice this 2017 thread has been revived 4 times...good read.)

(OP) Denise1952 at Crescent City, similar age and I love that remote area with its redwoods and Smith River.

Single, never ever used dating apps, sites, or services, never will, nor an active dater, prefer meeting others hanging out in group settings.  

_What type of man/woman would you be willing to date?_
    Lives in same region. Someone with SOME similar interests, intelligent, honest, friendly, considerate, healthy, fit, financially secure, monogamistic...  Not picky for just sharing friendly fun, hanging out.
_Are you more accepting of others short-comings, or less?_
    Depends on what specifics but generally picky.  
_Do you think you could not possibly meat (sic) someone you [are] right for you at this age?_
    Versus living alone, very much would like to finding a woman to share the rest of my life.
_And what about mistletoe, when you see it do you wonder if anyone is around you would be willing to kiss?_
    Never done that haha. Not physically aggressive like many men, am easy.


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## Packerjohn (Dec 9, 2021)

It's not money nor super looks that are important to me.  What I'm looking for are just 2 things:  1.  Prefers reading to watching TV.  2. Loves to travel.


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## MarciKS (Dec 10, 2021)

@Pepper i think it's mostly me.


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## Ruthanne (Dec 15, 2021)

Gaer said:


> What number is this post @Ruthanne?  I'd like to read it but I can't find it.


I'm sorry Gair,. I don't know at this point.  I am not with it.


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## MMinSoCal (Jan 25, 2022)

MarciKS said:


> I'm not sure I agree with this. Where relationships are concerned I think it's wrong to make one size fits all statements such as this. I am better alone than I am with a mate. If I had a mate now I would be very unhappy. Mainly because my needs have changed with age. And from past experiences I just don't have any interest in giving it another go. I like where I am in my life right now. I don't need or want an other.


I'm single. From my most recent relationship experience, I will say that I'd much rather be happy alone than miserable coupled.


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## win231 (Jan 25, 2022)

Denise1952 said:


> That's what I would be up for, just dating, and actually having a guy that remembers how to "court" a gal.  The jokers on dating sites seem to think they don't even have to put on a clean shirt or comb there hair, or at least polish their heads
> 
> Now to be fair, some gals don't work very hard at presenting themselves, at least not in these dating profiles I've seen.  I think their for the birds, dating sites I mean.  Rather meet a guy in the produce section, especially if he's shopping organic, LOL!!  Clean cut, there is such a thing still


Always a good sign when you see him in the produce section, squeezing things.


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## Packerjohn (Jan 26, 2022)

Yes, I agree there are some very strange "ladies" on some of these sites.  Can't help you with the "gents" section of dating sites.  I'm sure that some guys are pretty strange too.  Anyway, I find it very strange with women sticking their dog or their cat into the camera lens.  I don't know about other men, but if I'm looking for a lady, I'm looking for a lady; not a dog or cat.  If I want a dog/cat, I'll go to the local animal shelter and get one that already has the shots.  I wish some of the ladies here could explain to me why they stick those doggies and pussies at the camera lens?  I sure can't figure it out?  

Other strange facts of dating sites are ladies taking their photos in dark places so you can't tell much about the person.  Of course, ladies with no photos are just no ladies that I would write to.


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## Brookswood (Jan 26, 2022)

Packerjohn said:


> Anyway, I find it very strange with women sticking their dog or their cat into the camera lens.  I don't know about other men, but if I'm looking for a lady, I'm looking for a lady; not a dog or cat.  If I want a dog/cat, I'll go to the local animal shelter and get one that already has the shots.  I wish some of the ladies here could explain to me why they stick those doggies and pussies at the camera lens?  I sure can't figure it out?


That one confuses me also.  Why in the world do I need to see two photos of the lady and eight photos of her cat(s)? I don't mean a photo of her with her cat. I mean close ups of the cat.  I might as well include photos of my motorcyle or guns or work bench or whatever _manly_ toys I might have. Maybe she is trying to let me know that the cats come first, and I come in second, when she has time for me. Who knows?

Don't get me started on the lady whose photo showed her in a pretty blue dress, wearing a tasteful string of pearls.  Yet, on our first introduction meeting, she showed up wearing work  boots and bib overalls.   You can't make this stuff up.


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## Packerjohn (Jan 28, 2022)

Brookswood said:


> That one confuses me also.  Why in the world do I need to see two photos of the lady and eight photos of her cat(s)? I don't mean a photo of her with her cat. I mean close ups of the cat.  I might as well include photos of my motorcyle or guns or work bench or whatever _manly_ toys I might have. Maybe she is trying to let me know that the cats come first, and I come in second, when she has time for me. Who knows?
> 
> Don't get me started on the lady whose photo showed her in a pretty blue dress, wearing a tasteful string of pearls.  Yet, on our first introduction meeting, she showed up wearing work  boots and bib overalls.   You can't make this stuff up.


Your kidding us, right?  I mean a lady showing up in work boots and bib overalls?  I would have run for the hills, believe me!  I understand your point about photos of dogs and cats.  How, would these ladies like photos of what I had in my last garage:  skill saw, bench saw, router and overhead saw.  Then there was the shop vacuum, my drill, both metric and SAE tool sets and compressor.  I wonder if that would get me some dates?  LOL

Maybe all these ladies want is a man to walk their dog twice a day or clean out the kitty litter.  I would strongly suggest that they put an add in "Help Wanted" rather than Match.com or Fish.com.


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## Alligatorob (Jan 28, 2022)

Been a long time since I've been single, but this is an interesting read.  Brings back memories, good and a few not so good.


MMinSoCal said:


> I'd much rather be happy alone than miserable coupled


A wise woman indeed.  I did the "_miserable coupled_" thing once, it was the worst!


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## Brookswood (Jan 29, 2022)

Packerjohn said:


> Your kidding us, right?  I mean a lady showing up in work boots and bib overalls?  I would have run for the hills, believe me!  I understand your point about photos of dogs and cats.  How, would these ladies like photos of what I had in my last garage:  skill saw, bench saw, router and overhead saw.  Then there was the shop vacuum, my drill, both metric and SAE tool sets and compressor.  I wonder if that would get me some dates?  LOL
> 
> Maybe all these ladies want is a man to walk their dog twice a day or clean out the kitty litter.  I would strongly suggest that they put an add in "Help Wanted" rather than Match.com or Fish.com.


I wish I was kidding.   But, I am not. Thankfully our meeting only cost me the cost of one cup of over priced coffee. I politely cut it short.

The other thing I have noticed as I age is the number of women who don't want a committed  close relationship, but want a FWB relationship instead. (FWB means friends with benefits. I'll let your imagination tell you what the benefit is.)  As one lady put it "we're both healthy, we're not getting any younger, we're both descent people, so why not?"   I have to admit this caught me by surprise the first time it happened.  It's like the 60's and 70's all over again.


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## Lawrence00 (Jan 29, 2022)

Brookswood said:


> That one confuses me also.  Why in the world do I need to see two photos of the lady and eight photos of her cat(s)? I don't mean a photo of her with her cat. I mean close ups of the cat.  I might as well include photos of my motorcyle or guns or work bench or whatever _manly_ toys I might have. Maybe she is trying to let me know that the cats come first, and I come in second, when she has time for me. Who knows?
> 
> Don't get me started on the lady whose photo showed her in a pretty blue dress, wearing a tasteful string of pearls.  Yet, on our first introduction meeting, she showed up wearing work  boots and bib overalls.   You can't make this stuff up.



Well if she also had a pony tail, ball cap, and a Jeep, send her my way.


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## Packerjohn (Jan 29, 2022)

GeorgiaXplant said:


> 1. He must have his own place to live.
> 2. He must have his own car to drive.
> 3. He must have his own income.
> 4. He must have a sense of humor.
> ...


Well, I think that all these points are very reasonable.  My former Mother-in-law also had her points.  She had exactly 4 of them:
1. Must be tall
2. Must be handsome
3. Must be a great dancer
4. Must be rich

She dated many men over the years but all proved to be "stupid and good for nothing" (her words).  She never got married and died alone and I was not surprised!


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## Packerjohn (Jan 29, 2022)

This is a very serious topic and I don't mean to be making fun of relationships but I couldn't help posting this photo.  This is a photo I found on a dating site for people 69 - 77 a couple of days ago.  Now, guys, what do you think?  Hot date or crazy date?  If you ask me, I would run the other direction.


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## bowmore (Jan 29, 2022)

GeorgiaXplant said:


> 1. He must have his own place to live.
> 2. He must have his own car to drive.
> 3. He must have his own income.
> 4. He must have a sense of humor.
> ...


Sorry, I meet all the criteria, but I am taken.


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## JaniceM (Jan 30, 2022)

win231 said:


> Always a good sign when you see him in the produce section, squeezing things.


Not if he's squeezing other employees or customers.


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## IFortuna (Jan 30, 2022)

Denise1952 said:


> I'd love to meet a guy that likes himself, and is a secure person.  We get beat up in this life, but it's our attitude towards those things that separates the men from the boys, or the women from the girls, either way.  My heart is especially soft towards those that have been battered beyond recovery.  I don't want to go there right now, but people are welcome to talk about what they want to.
> 
> Humility is so attractive to me anyway, a humble guy.  Someone that's more old-fashioned in the "dating" way.  A gentleman, and the problem I see most, or the thing that turns me off of men's dating profiles, is they "always" talk about wanting physical contact.  There's nothing wrong with wanting that, but to me that is inappropriate when meeting someone for the first time.  I can't imagine a guy bringing it up on a first, real, life date.
> 
> I was wild when I was young, free love and all that, but I'm not who I was back then and I want the gentleman I was too stupid to look for when I was young.  Or pay any attention to when I actually met one.  Again, my picker was broke.  I wouldn't have known the "right" kind of guy, talk about stupid.


You are so sweet.  Honey, they all want it they just want to make sure you do too!  We are all mature (?) adults.  I love when a guy lays it out on the table, so to speak.  There is nothing more attractive to me than an honest, forthright man or woman who speaks plainly about what he/she wants. Who has time to waste on niceties? Many of these guys are widowed sadly or divorced from someone who doesn't want a physical relationship anymore. It is a given, in my opinion, that most of them are kind and good people in very lonely situations. I think my attitude has gotten more charitable towards other's needs as I have gotten older. Personally, I like men more my age but have offers from 40 and 50 yo.  Bottom line, you do what makes you happy not someone else. Not to be preachy, if you are single, this is your time to exercise your freedom to choose. Enjoy yourself.  PM if you would like to talk more about it.


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## Autumn72 (Jan 30, 2022)

Denise1952 said:


> *Single women, single men after 55, as well as other "groups" that have some wisdom to share..*
> 
> ..would be welcome.
> 
> ...


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## Autumn72 (Jan 30, 2022)

The note in the bottle, kind of thing.


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## Autumn72 (Jan 30, 2022)

Denise1952 said:


> That one I'd love, I love most all of the Hallmark romance movies  I like the humorous ones especially.  I was just looking for a movie to watch tonight.  I have a few Christmas ones that came from the Hallmark Channel.  One I don't have is "The Christmas Card" and I love that one
> 
> I wouldn't be surprised if a man does come into my life, if he was quite different than I "think" I want  but in good ways, not bad ways, lol!! He's got to know how to put the seat back down, LOL!!


These are old what did happen by now 2022


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## Autumn72 (Jan 30, 2022)

Smiling Jane said:


> There's a fairly large group of single males at the city-sponsored senior center I go to. There's a center across town where I've taken the AARP safe driver courses that seems to be nearly all widowed or otherwise unattached men. I was very surprised first time I went there. Don't know why, but I didn't expect it. Quite a few of the activities at the centers are things men would enjoy.


What activities?
As in having lots of people who had been teens long ago >in one place.
I once went to a Dunkin Donuts beautiful day facing the bench outside sat a man about town.
It seemed strange to ever had seen anyone sit there. Maybe a bus route not used often.
It seemed the elderly man walked away at times to show up again as where the bench was facing a large inner street facing a movie theater had no purpose yet to attract.....who me....?
I sure felt right of that thought for I then still had dark long hair not looking for a problem with a man. Just took my time eating lunch and reading my new book.
Finally, he did leave yet, I felt that he was from the Senior Citizen Tower behind us. I left thinking he was in search of a new woman and it left me with the point that he was calling me to be his new conquest.
Not what I wanted in a partner, date or short-term adventure as are frequently sprout up in these senior citizens housing traps. Why I chose to rent from a Artist frame of mind.


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## Autumn72 (Jan 30, 2022)

Lawrence00 said:


> I did wish for someone to help fold my sheets, but have given up all hope. Really, wrinkles are not so bad.


Making the bed now has become an ordeal I need to share with a long term male as why I invested in a Queen size bed......not to go it all alone....the point of caring loving companion for each other not a belt buckle of notches men tality.


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## Autumn72 (Jan 30, 2022)

So has anyone climbed 5hat ladder in present time


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## Denisel (Feb 18, 2022)

Shalimar said:


> Excellent thread. I was quite content to be single, although I have always had close male friends. Never bargained for Philly, I mean, a Taoist monk? Lulz. Neither of us were looking for love, but here we are. Once the protracted immigration bs is finalised, we will marry and set up housekeeping here on southern Vancouver Island.


Very interested in seeing an update. Best wishes!


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## Shalimar (Feb 18, 2022)

Denisel said:


> Very interested in seeing an update. Best wishes!


Thank you. Sadly, Philly died almost three years ago.


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## Jan14 (Feb 18, 2022)

Packerjohn said:


> Yes, I agree there are some very strange "ladies" on some of these sites.  Can't help you with the "gents" section of dating sites.  I'm sure that some guys are pretty strange too.  Anyway, I find it very strange with women sticking their dog or their cat into the camera lens.  I don't know about other men, but if I'm looking for a lady, I'm looking for a lady; not a dog or cat.  If I want a dog/cat, I'll go to the local animal shelter and get one that already has the shots.  I wish some of the ladies here could explain to me why they stick those doggies and pussies at the camera lens?  I sure can't figure it out?
> 
> Other strange facts of dating sites are ladies taking their photos in dark places so you can't tell much about the person.  Of course, ladies with no photos are just no ladies that I would write to.


I will respond from the female perspective.  Lots of men on the dating sites show pics of their toys ie cars, motorcycles, boats and yes they show their pets too!   I find the toys to be a turn off.  That tells me nothing of your character or personality.  Listing it as a hobby is good enough.  I don’t think a person should hide behind anything, including an animal.    I like to see a man with his pets.  Being an animal lover that is.  My perspective for what it’s worth.


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## Denisel (Feb 18, 2022)

Denise1952 said:


> I'd love to meet a guy that likes himself, and is a secure person.  We get beat up in this life, but it's our attitude towards those things that separates the men from the boys, or the women from the girls, either way.  My heart is especially soft towards those that have been battered beyond recovery.  I don't want to go there right now, but people are welcome to talk about what they want to.
> 
> Humility is so attractive to me anyway, a humble guy.  Someone that's more old-fashioned in the "dating" way.  A gentleman, and the problem I see most, or the thing that turns me off of men's dating profiles, is they "always" talk about wanting physical contact.  There's nothing wrong with wanting that, but to me that is inappropriate when meeting someone for the first time.  I can't imagine a guy bringing it up on a first, real, life date.
> 
> I was wild when I was young, free love and all that, but I'm not who I was back then and I want the gentleman I was too stupid to look for when I was young.  Or pay any attention to when I actually met one.  Again, my picker was broke.  I wouldn't have known the "right" kind of guy, talk about stupid.


Same here, broke picker, claiming to be looking for love but picking men incapable of giving it. I heard once that we choose the person we feel we deserve. Now, I value friendships that are mutually respectful of our differences n commonalities. I was miserable wanting what I did not have, allowing myself to be abused in every way possible. Now that i respect myself, know, accept n embrace who I am, I look at everyone as a potential friend and choose accordingly. So first becoming the person u wish to attract to u solves the problems


Shalimar said:


> Thank you. Sadly, Philly died almost three years ago.


So sorry. I hope u have many good memories n they bring u solace.


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## Shalimar (Feb 18, 2022)

Denisel said:


> Same here, broke picker, claiming to be looking for love but picking men incapable of giving it. I heard once that we choose the person we feel we deserve. Now, I value friendships that are mutually respectful of our differences n commonalities. I was miserable wanting what I did not have, allowing myself to be abused in every way possible. Now that i respect myself, know, accept n embrace who I am, I look at everyone as a potential friend and choose accordingly. So first becoming the person u wish to attract to u solves the problems
> 
> So sorry. I hope u have many good memories n they bring u solace.


Yes, thank you. I am at peace, and have moved on.


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## mellowyellow (Feb 18, 2022)

I understand why singles of any age long to meet a mate to grow old with, but it seems to be fraught with danger. As physical attraction seems to be the most important requirement, good looks can be deceiving.   In my experience of life so far, beautiful women and handsome men seem to find it harder to maintain a strong, lasting relationship.


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## 1955 (Feb 18, 2022)

I became single last year after a 22 year marriage and then a 13 year girlfriend. At age 66 moving forward I would be concerned with health issues. I would not want to be a burden to anyone and/or I would not want to become a caretaker.

Also, at this age by the time you get to know someone well enough to make a commitment, well, you might have one foot in the grave already. So it’s kind of a dilemma.

Of course I would never say never but it would take a special connection.

So in the mean time I’m just learning how to be a content single.


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## Packerjohn (Feb 19, 2022)

Jan14 said:


> I will respond from the female perspective.  Lots of men on the dating sites show pics of their toys ie cars, motorcycles, boats and yes they show their pets too!   I find the toys to be a turn off.  That tells me nothing of your character or personality.  Listing it as a hobby is good enough.  I don’t think a person should hide behind anything, including an animal.    I like to see a man with his pets.  Being an animal lover that is.  My perspective for what it’s worth.


Thanks for giving me your perspective on the matter.  I totally agree with you.  You need to learn the really important things about a man such as his character, temperment, maybe a list of hobbies (it's important that he has some rather than being someone who sits 12 hours/each day and stares at all the sports channels), his family and what he enjoys doing.  Does he read?  Does he enjoys going out or is he a homebody?  However, you are not looking to buy a motorcycle, boat, truck, snowmobile or whatever.  Yes, I think it is pretty well the same kind of thinking as sticking a dog or cat into the camera lens.  A definite "turn off" for me.

I think that men and women communicate somewhat differently.  Women like to share ideas and feelings while a lot of men relate to other men by way of their "toys" (trucks, cars, snowmobiles, motorcycles, ATVs, etc.).  I hope I am not stereotyping here because there are always exceptions to the rule but how often to you see a man shut off the sports channel so that he can share his feelings with his wife.  Not many I bet!


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## Packerjohn (Feb 19, 2022)

Aunt Bea said:


> That is a great point!
> 
> I know a couple of widowed folks who seemed to find happiness with another person late in life and their adult children put them through hell over it.


That's an old story.  Kids trying to boss their parents.  It's OK for them to find mates, have fun and enjoy life but not for you!  Your suppose live like some monk or nun?  Isn't it nice to be young and "KNOW IT ALL."  My suggestion is ignore the kiddies and do what is right for you!  Life is short!  Seize the day!


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## Brookswood (Feb 19, 2022)

Packerjohn said:


> That's an old story.  Kids trying to boss their parents.  It's OK for them to find mates, have fun and enjoy life but not for you!  Your suppose live like some monk or nun?  Isn't it nice to be young and "KNOW IT ALL."  My suggestion is ignore the kiddies and do what is right for you!  Life is short!  Seize the day!


Thankfully, my kids have not interfered in any of my relationships, though there were a few women, that I know they did not care for very much.


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