# Miscommunication



## Lon (Dec 19, 2014)

I find it interesting how we can miscommunicate both orally and in writing with the recipient of the spoken or written word completely misunderstanding the meaning. My ex wife for many years would console someone and say "I am so sorry" when they used the expression that they had "LUCKED OUT'. She thought that they had run out of luck and of course as most Americans would know, that's not what it means. My wife, being a native of New Zealand was unfamiliar with the expression. There are many examples in my marriage that have lead to an argument because of miscommunication. It happens on this Forum on a fairly regular basis and makes me wonder how, even with interpreters, the United Nations was ever able to function. 
Much of the miscommunication is due to Cultural and Social differences.


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## hollydolly (Dec 19, 2014)

OH I thought Lucked Out, meant the same as your wife Lon...thanks for putting us straight, it's not an expression that's used here in the UK


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## SeaBreeze (Dec 19, 2014)

Lucked out always meant got lucky, American here.


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## oakapple (Dec 19, 2014)

I only knew this through reading books set in the US. It's true Lon, even though we all speak one language on here, we can often misunderstand a post.


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## kcvet (Dec 19, 2014)




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## AZ Jim (Dec 19, 2014)

Once we are restricted to communicating in text we lose the hand motions, the voice inflections, the general posture of the speaker and misunderstandings become commonplace.


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## Ameriscot (Dec 19, 2014)

hollydolly said:


> OH I thought Lucked Out, meant the same as your wife Lon...thanks for putting us straight, it's not an expression that's used here in the UK



My Scottish husband would say landed lucky.


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## Ameriscot (Dec 19, 2014)

It's easy to misunderstand on forums as we can't hear a tone of voice or see the facial expression. If people would use the 'smilies' to indicate sarcasm, etc. and the reader would look at the intention of the poster before jumping to conclusions, all forums would run more smoothly.


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## Josiah (Dec 19, 2014)

I think we could all do a better job of anticipating how our readers might misinterpret what we are trying to say. My pet peeve is the careless use of pronouns leaving the subject or object not clearly indicated.


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## SifuPhil (Dec 19, 2014)

AZ Jim said:


> Once we are restricted to communicating in text we lose the hand motions, the voice inflections, the general posture of the speaker and misunderstandings become commonplace.



... especially for those of us of Italian decent ... 

Hold my hands and I become a mute.


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## hollydolly (Dec 20, 2014)

Ameriscot said:


> It's easy to misunderstand on forums as we can't hear a tone of voice or see the facial expression. If people would use the 'smilies' to indicate sarcasm, etc. and the reader would look at the intention of the poster before jumping to conclusions, all forums would run more smoothly.



I totally agree..


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## hollydolly (Dec 20, 2014)

SifuPhil said:


> ... especially for those of us of Italian decent ...
> 
> Hold my hands and I become a mute.



We Scots are the same..


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## Blaze Duskdreamer (Dec 21, 2014)

Not even country to country but even just between one state to another, rural vs. urban, it is amazing.  We are forthright and blunt in NY and talk loud and fast, that reads rude to other Americans.  I find it comes through even in forums where the loud and fast can't be heard.

True story:  on the bus in Denver one autumn, I was reminiscing to my daughter about the fall leaves in NY and all the colors they turn.  Fall in CO is boring.  The leaves turn yellow and fall off the trees and it takes about three days so I was missing NY.  Someone overheard and said, you're from NY; I'm from NY.  Perfectly acceptable behavior between NY'ers.  Soon there were a half dozen people all over the bus sharing they were transplanted NY'ers and which part of NY we were all from (from NYC to Buffalo and every point in between) and excitedly sharing things we missed -- while the Colorado natives sat there silently non-plused at how we were disrupting the whole bus.  In NY, you yak with strangers at the bus stop; in Denver, if you said good morning, they acted like you were going to mug them.  Yes, even with a little girl right there with you.

I think cultural differences like this fall into play too and also cause problems in public forums on-line.  We NY'ers have a reputation for being rude because what we perceive as polite is culturally rude elsewhere.  We find it rude to try and talk to someone to pass the time while waiting for a bus and only get the cold shoulder from them!


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## Lon (Dec 21, 2014)

Blaze Duskdreamer said:


> Not even country to country but even just between one state to another, rural vs. urban, it is amazing.  We are forthright and blunt in NY and talk loud and fast, that reads rude to other Americans.  I find it comes through even in forums where the loud and fast can't be heard.
> 
> True story:  on the bus in Denver one autumn, I was reminiscing to my daughter about the fall leaves in NY and all the colors they turn.  Fall in CO is boring.  The leaves turn yellow and fall off the trees and it takes about three days so I was missing NY.  Someone overheard and said, you're from NY; I'm from NY.  Perfectly acceptable behavior between NY'ers.  Soon there were a half dozen people all over the bus sharing they were transplanted NY'ers and which part of NY we were all from (from NYC to Buffalo and every point in between) and excitedly sharing things we missed -- while the Colorado natives sat there silently non-plused at how we were disrupting the whole bus.  In NY, you yak with strangers at the bus stop; in Denver, if you said good morning, they acted like you were going to mug them.  Yes, even with a little girl right there with you.
> 
> I think cultural differences like this fall into play too and also cause problems in public forums on-line.  We NY'ers have a reputation for being rude because what we perceive as polite is culturally rude elsewhere.  We find it rude to try and talk to someone to pass the time while waiting for a bus and only get the cold shoulder from them!


. 

Great post and I totally agree. I grew up in New Jersey and Colorado and you are spot on about the leaves.


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## SifuPhil (Dec 21, 2014)

hollydolly said:


> We Scots are the same..



I didn't know that - well-done, _signora_!


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## Blaze Duskdreamer (Dec 22, 2014)

Lon said:


> .
> 
> Great post and I totally agree. I grew up in New Jersey and Colorado and you are spot on about the leaves.



Isn't it terrible what passes for autumn there?  We moved to Denver when my daughter was three so she didn't remember a lot about NY.  I told her about all the colors -- yellow, oranges, etc. but missed one.  We moved back to NY when she was 12 and first fall back, she stops short and picks up a leaf and exclaims, "You didn't tell me there were red ones!"  She was so amazed.    Fall is now her favorite season; it always has been mine.


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## Josiah (Dec 22, 2014)

Blaze Duskdreamer said:


> Isn't it terrible what passes for autumn there?  We moved to Denver when my daughter was three so she didn't remember a lot about NY.  I told her about all the colors -- yellow, oranges, etc. but missed one.  We moved back to NY when she was 12 and first fall back, she stops short and picks up a leaf and exclaims, "You didn't tell me there were red ones!"  She was so amazed.    Fall is now her favorite season; it always has been mine.


I grew up in NY and particularly loved autumn. I agree with and understand the no leaf burning ordinances, but when I was a young kid in the late 1930s people commonly burned leaves and strange as it may sound now I loved the smell of burning leaves. Still do.


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## Rob (Dec 29, 2014)

They say that America and Britain are two countries divided by a common language ...

Sidewalk ... Pavement
Pavement ... Street
Hood ... Bonnet
Trunk ... Boot
Gas ... Petrol

... and there must be many more.


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## Lon (Dec 29, 2014)

How about -----------Hamburger/Mince   Elevator/Lift  Tea/Dinner


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## Josiah (Dec 29, 2014)

I'll admit I'm getting a bit off track fussing about pronunciation but still
evolution
[ev-uh-loo-shuh n or, esp. British, ee-vuh-]
I just can't understand the British pronunciation of this first vowel. Where do they get it?


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## Son_of_Perdition (Dec 29, 2014)

Growing up in religiously cloistered Utah and escaping was a cultural shock.  I'm outgoing, talkative and a people watcher.  My kids and wife marvel at my ability to strike up a conversation in the most unusual places.  Buffet lines, doctor offices, check outlines in a store.  But on one trip to the Amish area of PA (numbering 4 now) and our usual visit to the 'Good and Plenty' we had one extremely uncomfortable meal.  We were sitting across from a family of 6 or 7 that were stone cold silent all through the meal.  I finally pried a little information from one of the teenagers, they were from NYC.  I only have them to compare with but I assumed wrongly they were an example of the general population of NYC.  I realize I shouldn't group all residents since they probably wouldn't have been very sociable anywhere else.   

 My daughter lived in Ft. Collins, CO for several years and we also found that the general population was very aloof and judgmental.  They are into granola bars, driving fast and jogging with their black labs (I think that the 'Welcome Wagon' brings you a black lab puppy when they welcome you as a new resident!).  I thought that Estes Park and the surrounding area would equal anything I seen in the fall in the Northeastern US, but that's just my opinion.  Also I would have trouble dismissing the fall drive from my home town in N. Utah along US 89 into and around the Tetons and Yellowstone Park.


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## hollydolly (Dec 30, 2014)

Lon said:


> How about -----------Hamburger/Mince   Elevator/Lift  Tea/Dinner



LON..Hamburger and mince are 2 different things ...hamburger is a patty made from minced beef the same as in the USA...mince is ground beef not in a patty..


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## hollydolly (Dec 30, 2014)

SifuPhil said:


> I didn't know that - well-done, _signora_!



  Hola amigo..........well 'tis true...and when I moved to Spain  it was easy to make myself understood just be gesticulating a lot ...


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## hollydolly (Dec 30, 2014)

Well here's a comprehensive list of British English V American...

http://resources.woodlands-junior.kent.sch.uk/customs/questions/americanbritish.html#house


It gets further more complicated because may of the Words we use in Scotland are the same or similar to American English..and unlike English words...so it's often more difficult for an American to understand an Englishman than a Scot and vice versa


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## Melody1948 (Dec 30, 2014)

I find the hardest place to get along is on the net.  No matter what I say, it seems to be taken wrong.  I can't express myself because they can't see the smile on my face, so they assume I am upset or something.


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## Ralphy1 (Dec 30, 2014)

Well, I'm glad that you can't here me because you woul probably make fun of my New England accent as happened when I was in the service...


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## Rob (Dec 30, 2014)

Avun moved yer to the Midlunds frum Debnshur, oi gits me assent tekkun fun owter regler


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## hollydolly (Dec 30, 2014)

LOL well if you talk with such a strong accent Rob, you will definitely have the fun taken out of it..


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## hollydolly (Dec 30, 2014)

Melody1948 said:


> I find the hardest place to get along is on the net.  No matter what I say, it seems to be taken wrong.  I can't express myself because they can't see the smile on my face, so they assume I am upset or something.




That's where emoticons ( smileys) come into their own melody.


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## Warrigal (Dec 30, 2014)

Aussies don't have accents. They are for foreigners.


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## Ralphy1 (Dec 30, 2014)

Not only are you furriners, but you are a strange lot to boot!


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## Lon (Dec 30, 2014)

hollydolly said:


> LON..Hamburger and mince are 2 different things ...hamburger is a patty made from minced beef the same as in the USA...mince is ground beef not in a patty..



In New Zealand they say mince instead of hamburger.


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## Warrigal (Dec 30, 2014)

I ask for minced steak at the butcher's shop.
Savoury mince on toast is too runny use in a hamburger.


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## Kitties (Dec 30, 2014)

I know. With the internet someone can e mail or post something meaning it light hearted or joking and it can be taken much differently. I don't text so I don't need to worry about that.

I've even said things to people in person that were taken completely the wrong way. Sometimes I don't have much patience with that. Especially when I found out that person went and discussed it with someone else instead of just asking me what I meant if they thought I said something they didn't like. 

I've come to the conclusion that I am responsible for what I say but I'm not responsible for how others take it.


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