# This virus has laid me low, emotionally speaking



## CarolfromTX (Mar 26, 2020)

Aside from the never-ending search for toilet paper, this has really put me in a bad place emotionally, and for no good reason. We have enough food, we have our health, we have loving friends and family members, we're good. I can't help feeling that we're being manipulated by the media, by the politicians (on both sides), by people posting random stuff on the internet. I am normally a busy person, yet I find it difficult now to get off the couch. I forced myself to go for a walk with the dogs this morning and again after lunch. Made me feel a bit better. Picked up a curbside order at the grocery today, and got most of what I wanted, sans toilet paper. We are in no danger of starving. We have Netflix. And Brit Box. I can NOT figure out why this is so hard for me when it shouldn't be. And to add to it, my daughter is really sad that we can't have Sunday dinner as usual.  On the good side, it's nice to know that it means so much to her. I think I need a good kick in the ass. Sorry for the rant.


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## RadishRose (Mar 26, 2020)

CarolfromTX said:


> Aside from the never-ending search for toilet paper, this has really put me in a bad place emotionally, and for no good reason. We have enough food, we have our health, we have loving friends and family members, we're good. I can't help feeling that we're being manipulated by the media, by the politicians (on both sides), by people posting random stuff on the internet. I am normally a busy person, yet I find it difficult now to get off the couch. I forced myself to go for a walk with the dogs this morning and again after lunch. Made me feel a bit better. Picked up a curbside order at the grocery today, and got most of what I wanted, sans toilet paper. We are in no danger of starving. We have Netflix. And Brit Box. I can NOT figure out why this is so hard for me when it shouldn't be. And to add to it, my daughter is really sad that we can't have Sunday dinner as usual.  On the good side, it's nice to know that it means so much to her. I think I need a good kick in the ass. Sorry for the rant.


I understand, and feel the same way. It's like this huge sadness has settled on me. I wasn't in the best emotional shape to begin with; now this.

I can't find another word that expresses it better than "sad". Sad for our kind, sad for our earth and sad for our children.


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## Fiona (Mar 26, 2020)

I'm with you, Carol and Rose. I'm rehabbing after multiple knee surgeries last fall, and I'm supposed to be doing physical therapy. But my physical therapy place is closed, of course. I know what I need to be doing—laps in the hallway with my walker, lifting ankle weights, leg raises, going up & down the stairs. But I tend to hang out in bed reading instead. This virus situation has sapped my will.


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## RadishRose (Mar 26, 2020)

Fiona said:


> I'm with you, Carol and Rose. I'm rehabbing after multiple knee surgeries last fall, and I'm supposed to be doing physical therapy. But my physical therapy place is closed, of course. I know what I need to be doing—laps in the hallway with my walker, lifting ankle weights, leg raises, going up & down the stairs. But I tend to hang out in bed reading instead. This virus situation has sapped my will.


Fiona, sorry about your knee issues, but you must do your PT. You must.

I have a hard time just picking up the house....everything has a tinge of uselessness about it. This will pass for all of us I think.

Now, start those laps, please.


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## CarolfromTX (Mar 26, 2020)

"Sapped my will" is the perfect phrase for it. Seriously, I'm in a better spot than many, and yet I feel beaten. Damn it! Suck it up, Carol!


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## Pecos (Mar 26, 2020)

CarolfromTX said:


> Aside from the never-ending search for toilet paper, this has really put me in a bad place emotionally, and for no good reason. We have enough food, we have our health, we have loving friends and family members, we're good. I can't help feeling that we're being manipulated by the media, by the politicians (on both sides), by people posting random stuff on the internet. I am normally a busy person, yet I find it difficult now to get off the couch. I forced myself to go for a walk with the dogs this morning and again after lunch. Made me feel a bit better. Picked up a curbside order at the grocery today, and got most of what I wanted, sans toilet paper. We are in no danger of starving. We have Netflix. And Brit Box. I can NOT figure out why this is so hard for me when it shouldn't be. And to add to it, my daughter is really sad that we can't have Sunday dinner as usual.  On the good side, it's nice to know that it means so much to her. I think I need a good kick in the ass. Sorry for the rant.


I don't think that you need a kick, and I don't think that what you posted was a rant. I think it was a genuine statement about how this is affecting you as you get used to this new "norm." To one degree or another, I think that most of us have similar feelings.


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## C'est Moi (Mar 26, 2020)

I admit to feeling unsettled somehow.  I'm pretty much a homebody so being "self-isolating" hasn't been very different.  But I suppose the daily bombardment of how bad the world is reeling right now has me anxious and off-center somehow.   I'm having difficultly sleeping, too.


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## chic (Mar 26, 2020)

I'm angry more than sad. I'll start the day in my usual good mood then realize how everything has has changed. You cannot cross the taped line at the grocery store - social distancing. I brought my own bags and the clerk refused to bag for me cuz they were MY bags and offered me paper bags instead which I hate. They just rip if you have a heavy load. Our governor changes our rules like every hour and it's exhausting. I never know what's open and what's not, what I can do and the list of what I can't do just grows and grows. The governor says "go for a walk". I say something I cannot repeat. On the way back from shopping, some guy in a pickup truck was going 2 miles and hour and wouldn't let me pass him so I gunned it and passed him. 

I just feel so useless and stressed these days. Not sad but really po'd about everything. I feel frail. It's kind of all too much too fast.


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## Ruth n Jersey (Mar 26, 2020)

I'm not one to go out much even under normal circumstances. A run to the supermarket once a week was about it. I'm perfectly happy working on my projects but as soon as I was told I shouldn't go out I feel like a bear in a cage. 
I'm cleaning,organizing and redoing the same thing I did a week ago. The next step is to  rip down the sheet rock and vacuum the insulation. 
I hope it doesn't come to that.


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## SeaBreeze (Mar 26, 2020)

CarolfromTX said:


> Aside from the never-ending search for toilet paper, this has really put me in a bad place emotionally, and for no good reason. We have enough food, we have our health, we have loving friends and family members, we're good. I can't help feeling that we're being manipulated by the media, by the politicians (on both sides), by people posting random stuff on the internet. I am normally a busy person, yet I find it difficult now to get off the couch. I forced myself to go for a walk with the dogs this morning and again after lunch. Made me feel a bit better. Picked up a curbside order at the grocery today, and got most of what I wanted, sans toilet paper. We are in no danger of starving. We have Netflix. And Brit Box. I can NOT figure out why this is so hard for me when it shouldn't be. And to add to it, my daughter is really sad that we can't have Sunday dinner as usual.  On the good side, it's nice to know that it means so much to her. I think I need a good kick in the ass. Sorry for the rant.



There _is _a reason for you to feel that way Carol.  We also have enough food and our health, but it's frustrating and a bit depressing to have to go through this every day.  I just try to keep in mind that there are a lot of folks worse off than me during this crisis, people still working, with kids, caretakers for older relatives, poor people, people who were already in places like hospitals or nursing homes when this all started, etc.

I think everyone's trying to deal with it as best they can.  I'm more concerned than I was a couple of weeks ago about the severity of this virus and the continued closing of restaurants, parks, etc.  But part of it is just that the authorities and medical workers are doing their best to help people and save lives.  Part of the media is 'if it bleeds, it leads', they can have 24/7 repetitive news on the coronavirus, that's stressful for us in itself....but expected.

We've been having stuff delivered, did a curbside pickup yesterday from Texas Roadhouse for supper.  Probably will pack on a few pounds when all is said and done.  Like Pecos said, you are not ranting, we all are feeling the anxiety and trying to make the best of it.  Hopefully things will get better and not worse, none of us really know.  Just being unsure is stressful.

Monday I go into the dentist to have a permanent crown put in, I talked to them on the phone today about the coronavirus stuff and they assured me they were taking all precautions, that they use special mouth rinse too with peroxide and some other ingredient, and I would be rinsing with it also before they worked on me.  It should be a quick in and out, I already paid so I don't have to stop at the desk either.  Hubby has some pain and may have a cracked tooth, so he'll be going soon also.

Relax and try to have a peaceful night.


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## SeaBreeze (Mar 26, 2020)

C'est Moi said:


> I admit to feeling unsettled somehow.  I'm pretty much a homebody so being "self-isolating" hasn't been very different.  But I suppose the daily bombardment of how bad the world is reeling right now has me anxious and off-center somehow.   I'm having difficultly sleeping, too.


Same here, normally, except for shopping and running errands I'm a homebody too.  Wasn't a social butterfly and didn't go out to concerts, events, etc., so I'm not missing too much.  The news does make us anxious and learning more things are changing locally, but we're strong, we can deal with it.  Hopefully soon it will all be a distant memory.  I have to say it helps to have my husband here with me, I imagine it's much harder for those who live alone.


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## SeaBreeze (Mar 26, 2020)

Fiona said:


> I'm with you, Carol and Rose. I'm rehabbing after multiple knee surgeries last fall, and I'm supposed to be doing physical therapy. But my physical therapy place is closed, of course. I know what I need to be doing—laps in the hallway with my walker, lifting ankle weights, leg raises, going up & down the stairs. But I tend to hang out in bed reading instead. This virus situation has sapped my will.


I know it must be hard to get motivated, but it's for your health and you really should try to do what's needed for your knee.  Can you try to set a time slot that works for you during the day?  I don't know how long it all takes, but maybe between 11am-1pm you do your therapy?  I think it will be easier after the first day or two to stick to the routine.

My husband has some leg problems where he's not steady enough to go out and walk anymore, he uses a cane but still leans on furniture and the wall.  When I'm gone for an hour or so every day walking the dog, he uses two canes and walks the house from room to room to fill that time slot.  Especially at our ages, we have to try and keep our bones and joints moving to remain independent.

Aside from walking the dog, I've been lazy at home.  At first I thought I'd get a lot of house and yard work done, but haven't accomplished much of anything.  We're all being affected by what's going on, hard to keep a good attitude every day.  

Please take care.


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## AnnieA (Mar 26, 2020)

Fiona said:


> I'm with you, Carol and Rose. I'm rehabbing after multiple knee surgeries last fall, and I'm supposed to be doing physical therapy. But my physical therapy place is closed, of course. I know what I need to be doing—laps in the hallway with my walker, lifting ankle weights, leg raises, going up & down the stairs. But I tend to hang out in bed reading instead. This virus situation has sapped my will.



Would it help if you start a daily progress thread/journal for your rehab so we can encourage you?  I've found weight loss forums so helpful for encouragement and accountability.  I rehabbed a broken shoulder last year and have had people with rehab needs on my mind these days.  I'd love to follow your thread if you start one!


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## AnnieA (Mar 26, 2020)

CarolfromTX said:


> "Sapped my will" is the perfect phrase for it. Seriously, I'm in a better spot than many, and yet I feel beaten. Damn it! Suck it up, Carol!



You're human!!! And being mighty hard on yourself for it. We're stuck at home because there's this invisible, deadly enemy lurking that we can't fight but have to hide from. No way for it not to get to us.  

My best days are my most unplugged and out of doors, but even then there's that undercurrent of anxiety.  Not just about the present pandemic,  but also worry about the fallout afterwards.


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## Don M. (Mar 26, 2020)

All the bad news that we are hearing every day, the uncertainty of how this virus will affect everyone, and this recommendation to avoid all close contact with other people is certainly going to cause a lot of people to become stressed.  These conditions will exist for weeks....perhaps months, and drive large numbers of people into depressing moods.  If a person has little to pass the day other than the TV, the days are going to become Very Long.  I just hope my "bucket list" doesn't run out before life begins to return to normal...at least, with Spring coming, I have an endless array of outdoor work that will need to be done.


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## Ruthanne (Mar 26, 2020)

I have food and feel alright but I also feel sad.


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## Becky1951 (Mar 26, 2020)

Its starting to wear me down.
Daily I'm reminded due to my age and health issues that if I get this virus its basically a death sentence. I follow the CDC recommendations but all it takes is one slip up. Before the virus I knew of course my limitations physically, and health concerns. I know my age. I was happy, no real pressing issues living life to please me with family and get togethers. Now everyday I'm reminded of my age my vulnerability to this virus.


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## jujube (Mar 26, 2020)

I was back at the doctor's today for some more meds; seems that the bronchitis is edging into pneumonia and we want to nip that in the bud.   Had an 11 a.m. appointment but had to wait in the car until almost noon and then was buzzed in through a side door.  Didn't see another patient the whole time I was in there, only the nurse, doctor and xray technician, but I heard a bit of coughing down the hall.  When I came out to the parking lot, there was a car parked beside mine with an older lady stretched out on the front seat.  She waved to me and I waved back.  Heaven knows how long she'll have to wait; she didn't look too good.

I came home and took a hot shower.  With antibacterial soap.

I've been going out after dark and walking in the neighborhood.  I'd lose my mind if I didn't.  I sit outside some during the day but it's darned HOT here. 

Traffic very light out on the streets.   Orange County (Orlando) is under "lock-down" and everyone was told to stay home or else.  Seminole County where I live hasn't reached that quite yet.


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## MarciKS (Mar 26, 2020)

It has become too overwhelming for me now. If I see something that I think will help I'll post it but beyond that, I no longer wanna talk about it. It's just too much.


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## Ken N Tx (Mar 27, 2020)

https://www.seniorforums.com/threads/from-a-nurse-on-the-front-lines.47534/#post-1296164


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## chic (Mar 27, 2020)

I feel better this morning. Shut off the news completely and am watching old tennis matches and movies. Baked my chicken, did a lot of exercising, worked on my budget for going forward, am doing some crafts and just relaxing. Will nap this afternoon. It's better to take a time out sometimes.


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## Duster (Mar 27, 2020)

Hang in there everyone. As they say in the islands, "Everyting's gonna be alright".
Things aren't what they seem and the truth will be revealed soon.
Turn off the network news, go outside to enjoy the beautiful spring weather, and take care of yourselves and your loved ones.


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## oldman (Mar 27, 2020)

Today, our Governor ordered our County to stay home and only people with life necessity jobs will be allowed to be driving, along with some other exceptions. This is our second weekend to be tied to the house. For a couple as active as my wife and I are, this is becoming more like a prison camp. The weather forecast for this weekend is calling for rain, which makes things even worse.


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## chic (Mar 27, 2020)

oldman said:


> Today, our Governor ordered our County to stay home and only people with life necessity jobs will be allowed to be driving, along with some other exceptions. This is our second weekend to be tied to the house. For a couple as active as my wife and I are, this is becoming more like a prison camp. The weather forecast for this weekend is calling for rain, which makes things even worse.



I hope it never gets to that here. They said we would always be able to go to the grocery store, the drug store and the bank.


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## Capt Lightning (Mar 28, 2020)

Sometimes it's not so much the virus as the weather.  It's meant to be spring after all.
We have quite a lot to do in the garden, but if the weather is bad, we can't do much.
It was a beautiful warm day yesterday and we started some tasks - today  we have cold winds and snow showers!

So, we're stuck indoors.  Saturday is a bad day for shopping - though we can legitimately go out for food shopping.  Can't visit our friends on the farm - though they may be busy with lambing.  Can't go for a walk because of the weather 

Roll on Summer!


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## OneEyedDiva (Mar 28, 2020)

Rant on Carol. You are not the only one affected this way. Would it help to video chat with family members? Is there a hobby that brings you joy? I started to feel myself getting depressed and have immersed myself in music...particularly dance music which really picks up my spirits. My son did a live House Music stream on FB which I really enjoyed. We miss going to his parties and dancing but I danced at home. 

I have streaming options like you and losing myself in my favorite programs does help. One of the biggest helpers is the laugh fests I've been having with a good friend of mine. She has been through a truly nightmarish, hellish situation trying to resolve her mother's estate, she's living hand to mouth, her son is doing wrong and she has much to be depressed about. But I can always make her laugh, something she always thanks me for. The other day we were on the phone for almost two hours laughing our heads off. Some of it was stupid stuff, some of it was inside jokes, some of it even about this COVID-19 situation. If you can find a way to laugh, it will be good for you physically and mentally.


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## MarciKS (Mar 29, 2020)

I hate to say it but, I think we will be seeing more people with depression because of this.
I don't usually suffer with depression but, this week a sadness just seems to be settling over me.


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## Fiona (Apr 7, 2020)

RadishRose said:


> Fiona, sorry about your knee issues, but you must do your PT. You must. [...]
> 
> Now, start those laps, please.



Sorry it took me a while to respond, RadishRose. I had already started the laps, but I was inconsistent. (And thank you, SeaBreeze and AnnieA, too, for the encouragement!)

But I'm doing much better now. I called my PT clinic and was able to arrange a phone consultation with my therapist. He got me morivated! For about 10 days now I've been consistent about doing those laps in the hallway, 1000 feet every day, and every other day I lift ankle weights and do other exercises for my legs.

I'm quite wobbly, so I still need the walker near me in case I stumble, but I'm just pushing it in front of me, not even putting as much weight on it as you do on a shopping cart. I have permanent changes from the complications of the knee surgeries, but I'm determined to teach my gimpy body how to walk again—hopefully without even a cane.


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## win231 (Apr 7, 2020)

We have to find some humor & there is plenty.
Like today - we're being told to stay home & not go anywhere, even shopping for food.
A minute later, we're told "There is a blood shortage & we're asking you to go to one of the listed locations to donate blood."


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## Aneeda72 (Apr 8, 2020)

I reset all my doctor appointments to a month from now and canceled PT as well.  It’s just a waiting game, waiting out the virus.  I do feel more able to go out with the mask and social distancing.

Went to the Costco.  They are only letting so many into the store now, the line went fast though, and they have more limits on items.  So much for buying stuff for people who can’t get out.  Wanted 2 tuna fish, one for us, one for the group home, allowed only one.  They had packages of 30 rolls of TP.  Limit 1.

Our brand of bottled water, 1.  Hadn’t found drinking water in a while.  I seem to have the same sadness as most everyone else.  Not sleeping much.


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## Victor (Apr 8, 2020)

Yeah I feel the same way. I never did socialize much. I live in a state with boring predictable scenery, so a drive gets me nowhere special. Note: even some county parks, forest preserves, are closed. What's left? Go to one of the 8 states that have no shelter- at- home, presently? No. Like to wait weeks for a friendly call or text? Hey, my insurance agent called me just to chat! That's it.
Now is the time to begin a new hobby or project at home.


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## Aneeda72 (Apr 8, 2020)

Victor said:


> Yeah I feel the same way. I never did socialize much. I live in a state with boring predictable scenery, so a drive gets me nowhere special. Note: even some county parks, forest preserves, are closed. What's left? Go to one of the 8 states that have no shelter- at- home, presently? No. Like to wait weeks for a friendly call or text? Hey, my insurance agent called me just to chat! That's it.
> Now is the time to begin a new hobby or project at home.


Well, just saying don’t come to Utah.  While the parks are closed, you can walk in them using social distance, but out of state residents can’t, they made that rule after someone got lost and had to be found.

She was from out of state.  Apparently if you get lost, now, and are out of state, good luck, but no rescue.


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## Marlene (Apr 8, 2020)

For me, the saddest part is that I'm on the downhill side of my life, and this is time I was hoping to use to do many of the things I had postponed while rearing children and working a demanding job.  Now, I sit and watch as tears go by. . .


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## Aneeda72 (Apr 8, 2020)

Marlene said:


> For me, the saddest part is that I'm on the downhill side of my life, and this is time I was hoping to use to do many of the things I had postponed while rearing children and working a demanding job.  Now, I sit and watch as tears go by. . .


i had forgot about this song, thanks for the memory.  Most of us on this site are on the downhill of life.  Some are very active, some like me are not.  I thought I’d spend the rest of my life having all the kids over for Sunday lunch.  Half of them moved out of state a year ago.  

I thought I would be gardening my heart out, veggies and flowers.  My health won’t support even this minor lifestyle.  I thought we would be taking a lot of vacations-he refuses due to my health.  He asked what do I do if you die in the car?

Toss me out.  

I don’t know what you wanted to do and I don’t know why you can’t do those things.  Life, like when we were younger, continues to change and we continue to adapt.  I am sorry you must choose a different path. I am sorry I throw myself so many pity parties.  But where ever we find ourselves, there we are.


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## Pecos (Apr 8, 2020)

Marlene said:


> For me, the saddest part is that I'm on the downhill side of my life, and this is time I was hoping to use to do many of the things I had postponed while rearing children and working a demanding job.  Now, I sit and watch as tears go by. . .


Marlene, you certainly have our sympathy.
We are right there with you on this big boat.
Hopefully, this will pass quicker than expected and we can all get back to our lives, or at least to picking up the pieces of our lives.


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## Pepper (Apr 8, 2020)

BTW, Marianne Faithfull has been hospitalized in London with Coronavirus.


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## Marlene (Apr 8, 2020)

Aneeda72 said:


> i had forgot about this song, thanks for the memory.  Most of us on this site are on the downhill of life.  Some are very active, some like me are not.  I thought I’d spend the rest of my life having all the kids over for Sunday lunch.  Half of them moved out of state a year ago.
> 
> I thought I would be gardening my heart out, veggies and flowers.  My health won’t support even this minor lifestyle.  I thought we would be taking a lot of vacations-he refuses due to my health.  He asked what do I do if you die in the car?
> 
> ...


I'm in good health.  The reason I can't do the things I'd planned is simply that we are all on lockdown.  So, I watch plan after plan go up in smoke as the days go by with no way of knowing how long we will be stuck in limbo.

I'm sorry to hear your health is not good. I'm very fortunate to be healthy and quite active. So my sadness is simply from the postponement of "living my life" instead of watching it pass me by. 

But. . .on a brighter note, I learned today that some of my art was accepted into a juried art show, so I have something nice to look forward to in August (if not before).


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## Aneeda72 (Apr 8, 2020)

Pepper said:


> BTW, Marianne Faithfull has been hospitalized in London with Coronavirus.


So very sorry to hear this, I hope she fights with all her might and wins the battle.


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