# Ladies...Your Thoughts on Strange Men Calling You "Pet" Names, Okay or Not Okay?



## SeaBreeze (Feb 6, 2014)

Ladies, what are your thoughts of strange men who work in stores, service centers, or anywhere, addressing you with familiar names?  Are you okay with some man calling you Sweetheart, Honey, Princess, Sunshine, etc??

I know feeling about this may vary depending on what part of the country you're from.  Perhaps in some areas women don't even think twice about such "friendly" language.  Maybe some women actually like it, are flattered by it, or even encourage it.

Well, I don't like it at all.  It just happened to me again today, from a clerk behind a meat counter.  As soon as I hear, what I consider to be an inappropriate addressing, I am offput.  I usually immediately look at the man, and try to 'consider the source'.  I respond very coldly to it, and could easily say something to them if at all provoked after that.

My attitude is, if you wouldn't address me like that with my husband standing by my side, they you definitely shouldn't do it when I'm alone.  What do the women here think?  Do you like it, is it a turn-off, does it anger you??


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## Warrigal (Feb 6, 2014)

When I started teaching I was advised not to let the students pay me compliments of any kind because then they would feel equally entitled to pass adverse comments as well.

When next you get some stranger calling you "Sweetie" or some such, feel free to return is a less pleasant way. "Mudguts" is my favourite, but without being too offensive choose a less than flattering  word to use as a familiar form of address. Be sure to watch the facial expression.


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## Diwundrin (Feb 6, 2014)

I decide after doing a lightning quick calculation of whether I can turn it to advantage. 
 If some creep wants to big note himself by doing more than he has to for me, for whatever reason he has, then I will let him do just that, and call me dearie, and snicker quietly to myself about it.  

I'm long over the ego trip of letting them know exactly where they stand on the status totem pole, unless and until it suits me to let them know. 
 They can call me any damned thing they like as long it's not rude and they're 'helping out.'  They're just counter jockeys, they don't hold any important place in our lives,   their opinions of us don't count and they are forgotten as the door shuts behinds us.  Duzzen madder.

Use of patronising terms is an indication of their mentality, not ours.  Plenty of dumb blondes have ripped smooth operators off over the years, so who was the dumb one?

It all depends on the place and circumstance.  In a shop?  Go for it boys, just do the work, find and bring me what I want, and no skin off my nose, I'll answer to pet, dearie, or darlin' and smile sweetly while you wheel it out to the car and load it for me. 
I even coo talk some of 'em and call 'em darling boys and wonder if they ever stop and think about how patronising I was being to them! 
	

	
	
		
		

		
			




Only works for us if we enjoy the 'game' I guess.
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 At a social gathering, I swat 'em like a fly!

I'm adaptable.

I once broke off a 'relationship' over the idiot thinking that calling me a 'dumb bunny' was a term of endearment.  I just knew somehow that it wasn't going to end well long term.


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## jrfromafar (Feb 6, 2014)

How about waitresses calling every man 'Hon' ?


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## SeaBreeze (Feb 6, 2014)

There's even women who use those names with other women, but like I said, maybe it's just their upbringing, and it's very natural to them.  I don't know.  Sometimes I feel like saying, okay Sweetcheeks, I'll have a half dozen of those.  But with my luck, it would backfire, and they'd get their jollies off, and think I'm for real, LOL!

I've yet to see a waitress call my husband Hon, or anything else in my presence, but has likely happened many times over the years when I'm not there.  If I was there, we'd be in an eye-lock, that would speak louder than words.


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## jrfromafar (Feb 7, 2014)

SeaBreeze said:


> There's even women who use those names with other women, but like I said, maybe it's just their upbringing, and it's very natural to them.  I don't know.  Sometimes I feel like saying, okay Sweetcheeks, I'll have a half dozen of those.  But with my luck, it would backfire, and they'd get their jollies off, and think I'm for real, LOL!
> 
> I've yet to see a waitress call my husband Hon, or anything else in my presence, but has likely happened many times over the years when I'm not there.  If I was there, we'd be in an eye-lock, that would speak louder than words.



I can't recall if it happens when my wife is present but I'm on my own a lot and it's very frequent a waitress will call me "Hon" - and touch my shoulder. I take it in stride - it's as normal as the catsup on the table or the music on the jukebox especially in a farmer, rancher, trucker style coffee shop or diner.


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## i_am_Lois (Feb 7, 2014)

I don't like it when any stranger (male or female) uses those familiar terms. I'm never offended enough to speak up about it though. It's more of an annoyance, because I don't feel it's professional behavior & this most often occurs in a business setting with employees.

This may be completely unrelated, but when I moved from Philadelphia to Southern Delaware I was completely unprepared for the way the local women spoke to one another (and me). They always would include 'Miss' before a female's name. For example "How are you today Miss Lois?" "I went to BINGO with my my friends Miss Mary & Miss Charlotte last night." "Tell your sister, Miss Lori, I said hello."


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## Casper (Feb 7, 2014)

_*It doesn't really bother me as it happens so often now that you sort of get used to it......in a way....
and I'm positive those poor little boys OR girls don't even know they're saying it.....
it's really just a BAD BAD habit.......:fword:

I usually just walk away and have a giggle, I could be called much worse.....:yes:*_


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## Vivjen (Feb 7, 2014)

I don't think I notice any more; isn't that sad...


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## Diwundrin (Feb 7, 2014)

I won't tolerate grown women patronising me, that's different.  That's still a declaration of war.
I make some leeway for silly teens though, mostly they're just deluded that they are being nice.


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## Pappy (Feb 7, 2014)

Guess I'm a little guilty of this. I'll quite often say, Thank you hon without giving it a thought. I hope I'm not offending anyone.
usually our waitress or the al that serves our DD coffee are the ones I might say it to. No offense intended.


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## Jillaroo (Feb 7, 2014)

_Talking of women, my pet hate is being called Mate by a woman_   :grrr:


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## Bee (Feb 7, 2014)

Pappy said:


> Guess I'm a little guilty of this. I'll quite often say, Thank you hon without giving it a thought. I hope I'm not offending anyone.
> usually our waitress or the al that serves our DD coffee are the ones I might say it to. No offense intended.



Pappy you can call me hon anytime it really wouldn't bother me


I have been called dear...darling...hun....love....mate...sweetheart...etc etc and it doesn't bother me whatsoever, whether by male or female.

Working on the tills in a supermarket I have been 'guilty' of the same thing, to me it is just a friendly spoken word.


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## GDAD (Feb 7, 2014)

I worked at Rothmans, & with about 300 women. I am terrible with names, when I'm not personally in touch with a person
every day. The greatest word around is *"LOVE".* I could go up to anyone of the women & say* "excuse me LOVE what's wrong with your machine?"*
I would then repair Her Machine & get it back on line!


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## SifuPhil (Feb 7, 2014)

I've been called far worse names than "Hon" or "Sweetie", and it never bothered me, but then I don't have the hair-trigger that so many ladies do. 

One that I could never understand being used on me by females was "Baby" - my physical appearance and usual grim public attitude hardly make for visualizing an infant!

I think a lot of it is due to both geographic and generational cues. In the South I encountered MANY more people using such terms, from and toward both genders. It's just "the way it's always been". Here up North we tend to be more formal.

The generational cue is more interesting - it seems that with each succeeding generation the usage of such terms dies out more and more. Whether that is due to the embracing of equality, a fear of being non-PC or just the dying out of "old" habits remains a mystery to me.


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## Diwundrin (Feb 7, 2014)

GDAD said:


> I worked at Rothmans, & with about 300 women. I am terrible with names, when I'm not personally in touch with a person
> every day. The greatest word around is *"LOVE".* I could go up to anyone of the women & say* "excuse me LOVE what's wrong with your machine?"*
> I would then repair Her Machine & get it back on line!



That was a perfectly normal form of address 'back then' Gdad, no one took a damned bit of notice of it.  All the blokes I worked with had the same names depending on the mood. Luv or Mate.  They cringed when we called 'em mate, bad sign for them that they were in trouble with the 'sheilas'.  Ahhh the good ole pre PC days.


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## Pam (Feb 7, 2014)

GDAD said:


> I worked at Rothmans, & with about 300 women. I am terrible with names, when I'm not personally in touch with a person
> every day. The greatest word around is *"LOVE".* I could go up to anyone of the women & say* "excuse me LOVE what's wrong with your machine?"*
> I would then repair Her Machine & get it back on line!



'Love' has always been the most commonly used pet name where I live in and still in use.  I doubt if anyone - in this area anyway - would take offence... me included. Amongst the men it tends to be 'mate' or 'bud'.


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## Jackie22 (Feb 7, 2014)

I don't think 'luv' would bother me....but 'hon' would, somehow it seems demeaning or talking down to the 'little woman'...lol


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## Bee (Feb 7, 2014)

For me it is far better to be addressed by all these names mentioned than the customer that once called after me with a ..............'oi you'


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## Falcon (Feb 7, 2014)

What REALLY irks  ME  is when someone calls me "Young man".

Hey, I'm old. I look old; I don't have to show ID when I buy booze and/or tobacco.

So, what these dumbasses are really saying is "Hi there, you old F...........:grrr:


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## SeaBreeze (Feb 7, 2014)

i_am_Lois said:


> I don't like it when any stranger (male or female) uses those familiar terms. I'm never offended enough to speak up about it though. It's more of an annoyance, because I don't feel it's professional behavior & this most often occurs in a business setting with employees.



It is an annoyance to me also, but I do consider where that person might be from, and can accept it as their natural way in some circumstances.  I worked in a blue collar job for decades with mostly men, doing equal work.  I found it necessary to nip any Honey talk in the bud, before it bloomed.  I'd tell them right off the bat to address me by my name, just say what they need to with no names used, or don't talk to me at all.  They always understood, and conducted themselves in a proper way from that point on.  My work made me just one of the guys, which was fine.  Someone coming along with personal issues that just wanted to flirt, had to keep movin'.


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## That Guy (Feb 7, 2014)

I get it all the time from women of all ages and I love it . . . except for the Princess one...

I know many find it offensive and with respect for that I try to keep it at "my friend".


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## SifuPhil (Feb 7, 2014)

R. Lee Ermey is a past master at politically-correct speech ...



Some of his favorite "pet" names -



&#*$%#(
&$^#%@
*%)&!*
*%$^&#


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## jrfromafar (Feb 7, 2014)

SeaBreeze said:


> It is an annoyance to me also, but I do consider where that person might be from, and can accept it as their natural way in some circumstances.  I worked in a blue collar job for decades with mostly men, doing equal work.  I found it necessary to nip any Honey talk in the bud, before it bloomed.  I'd tell them right off the bat to address me by my name, just say what they need to with no names used, or don't talk to me at all.  They always understood, and conducted themselves in a proper way from that point on.  My work made me just one of the guys, which was fine.  Someone coming along with personal issues that just wanted to flirt, had to keep movin'.



That makes sense - at least in my book - a whole world of difference where it's the same people and  possible everyday occurrence - quite different than the lone stranger walking into a coffee shop with the sound of Conway Twitty or Waylon Jennings - and Betty approaches a tired driver with a carafe of coffee and says, _"hi hon, what can I get ya?"_


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## jrfromafar (Feb 7, 2014)

Falcon said:


> What REALLY irks  ME  is when someone calls me "Young man".
> 
> Hey, I'm old. I look old; I don't have to show ID when I buy booze and/or tobacco.
> 
> So, what these dumbasses are really saying is "Hi there, you old F...........:grrr:



or or how about when they say "you're looking good"...

--- what's the difference between "looking good" and "good looking"?

answer.... about 30 years...


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## Fern (Feb 7, 2014)

It is annoyance for me also being called 'dear or honey' by other women. The term 'baby' really grates, (not that I get addressed that way, thankfully),I notice it is a common term in the US.


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## GDAD (Feb 7, 2014)

Diwundrin said:


> That was a perfectly normal form of address 'back then' Gdad, no one took a damned bit of notice of it.  All the blokes I worked with had the same names depending on the mood. Luv or Mate.  They cringed when we called 'em mate, bad sign for them that they were in trouble with the 'sheilas'.  Ahhh the good ole pre PC days.





Pam said:


> 'Love' has always been the most commonly used pet name where I live in and still in use.  I doubt if anyone - in this area anyway - would take offence... me included. Amongst the men it tends to be 'mate' or 'bud'.




I still use "LOVE" when i forget a name. Back(in the old days) the women also used the same term. I personally took no offence. I think back then people were more familiar & friendly with
one another than what they are now. We all used to talk to each other face to face now it"s by internet & facebook, twitter, & forums.  Have to go now MY LOVES!  :lofl::lofl:


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## Ina (Feb 7, 2014)

I remember when I called a males Dude. Took me a long time to break that habit. :badgirl:


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## Diwundrin (Feb 7, 2014)

'Pet' may be a US/UK thing, don't remember any men being game enough to try that one here on unknown women, or maybe they tried it once and learned better. 
The term I detest most is ma'am or worse, madam.  For some reason it sounds contemptuous to me, and that could be because it's usually couched in sarcastic tone in my circle of acquaintance.  e.g. an 'orrible, stuck up little girl is referred to as being 'a real little madam!'

Again it depends on where it's used, if it's a shop assistant somewhere swanky it's okay, but not in the local take-away. Just me getting complex? :dunno:


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## jrfromafar (Feb 7, 2014)

Went to Mel's Diner today in Sacramento - I took it to the test - I scored 2 "sirs" and 3 "Hons" 

whoooohoooooo! Try it guys - see how many you can score!


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## Ina (Feb 7, 2014)

Jrfromafar, Didn't get any "Dudes"?


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## jrfromafar (Feb 7, 2014)

Ina said:


> Jrfromafar, Didn't get any "Dudes"?



No "dudes" but no "slap yo mama"'s either!


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## Jillaroo (Feb 7, 2014)

_Will admit i am guilty of calling a young shop assistant Love, my daughter pulled me up on it one day so now i stop and think what she said and don't call them anything_


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## SeaBreeze (Feb 7, 2014)

JR, reminds me of that old sitcom Alice, where she and Flo worked at Mel's diner, lol!


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## SifuPhil (Feb 7, 2014)

Wow, haven't heard THAT sitcom mentioned in a LONG time!


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## jrfromafar (Feb 7, 2014)

Yep - home of "American Grafitti"


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## That Guy (Feb 8, 2014)

SifuPhil said:


> Wow, haven't heard THAT sitcom mentioned in a LONG time!



Kiss My Grits!


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## Ina (Feb 8, 2014)

Hey TG, do you remember the album "Alice's Restaurant"?  :cart:


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## Ina (Feb 8, 2014)

With the 8X10 glossies.


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## That Guy (Feb 8, 2014)

Ina said:


> Hey TG, do you remember the album "Alice's Restaurant"?  :cart:



Love Arlo Guthrie!!!


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## SeaBreeze (Feb 8, 2014)




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## That Guy (Feb 8, 2014)

This from Arlo's website:  "I'd post some pix but, I still haven't figured out how to do that on here very successfully, they'll be in other places where it's pretty easy to load 'em into whatever you're writing. Drag & drop is about my speed."  Gee, he's just like the rest of us seniors!


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## That Guy (Feb 8, 2014)




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## That Guy (Feb 8, 2014)




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## Ina (Feb 8, 2014)

Thanks Seabreeze, I've still got the album, but I try not to play it anymore. At the time, I laughed until I cried. :coolthumb:


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## MarciKS (Jan 2, 2021)

SeaBreeze said:


> Ladies, what are your thoughts of strange men who work in stores, service centers, or anywhere, addressing you with familiar names?  Are you okay with some man calling you Sweetheart, Honey, Princess, Sunshine, etc??
> 
> I know feeling about this may vary depending on what part of the country you're from.  Perhaps in some areas women don't even think twice about such "friendly" language.  Maybe some women actually like it, are flattered by it, or even encourage it.
> 
> ...


I'm used to being called Sunshine or Sweetheart. Doesn't bug me. Makes me feel good that someone thinks something nice about me.


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## jujube (Jan 2, 2021)

My eye surgeon calls me "Toots" every time I see him.  I can be lying there on the operating table, half out of it and he asks me "How ya doing, Toots?"   I leave his office and he says, "See ya in six weeks, Toots."  I'm assuming he calls all the old ladies "Toots".  I don't mind.


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## Geezerette (Jan 2, 2021)

About the only thing I really mind is “young lady “ from a man. A couple of years ago, Cornered the 50ish male director of a large sr center on that, and Corrected him. Didn’t know middle aged guys could turn that many colors, haha.


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## MarciKS (Jan 2, 2021)

You know an awful lot of times when people say things meant as a compliment it gets misunderstood and the first thing everyone bolts to is being offended. Does it ever occur to anyone that they are merely trying to be nice? Or have people completely forgotten what that is?


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## jujube (Jan 2, 2021)

I'm guilty of using endearments on total strangers.  Luckily, no one has punched my lights out yet.   I guess I'll just keep pushing my luck....


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## Judycat (Jan 2, 2021)

Love the Mudguts thing, but I'm a terrible person with no feelings. Next time anyone calls me Dear the glove is going down.


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## Gaer (Jan 2, 2021)

I remember once accepting a date with a man ONLY because he called me "angel".  Had NO
attraction to him but i loved that he called me that.
There are men who call me "Bonnie Lass" and I LOVE it!
I think pet names are kinda cute!


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## MarciKS (Jan 2, 2021)

Gaer said:


> I remember once accepting a date with a man ONLY because he called me "angel".  Had NO
> attraction to him but i loved that he called me that.
> There are men who call me "Bonnie Lass" and I LOVE it!
> I think pet names are kinda cute!


You know I was told by one of my former bosses that if someone gives you a nickname or pet name it's considered a sign of affection. Doesn't necessarily mean the romantic kind. Some of the people I work with give me nicknames because they like me. The ones they don't like just get called by their names. I would rather be called Hairball at work and know that it's a term of endearment than just be called Marci and know that these folks don't much care for me.


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