# Too Much Pun



## NancyNGA




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## Guitarist




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## NancyNGA




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## Guitarist




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## NancyNGA




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## Pappy

Couldn't pass this thread up.


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## NancyNGA




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## Guitarist




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## SeaBreeze

NancyNGA said:


>



:lol:  Reminded me of these deer crossing signs.


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## NancyNGA

Just sneaking in a comment about school crossings...

The schoolhouse that crawled across LA 






_In the boomtown that was late-19th-century Los Angeles, buildings migrated across the city with some regularity. Many took their houses with them, hiring contractors who raised the structures from their foundations with screw jacks and then hauled them across town by horse or ox.  This is an 1886  photo of the Los Angeles High School building being moved over Temple Street. _


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## Guitarist




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## NancyNGA

^^ Love it, Guitarist!


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## SeaBreeze




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## Phoenix

Guitarist said:


>



Where can I get one of these cats?


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## NancyNGA




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## Guitarist

LOL, Nancy!

Phoenix, you should be able to right-click on the laughing kitty photo and then left-click on "Save image as ..." to save it to your computer.

Unless you want a real laughing cat, and I guess you have to breed for that!  (Hope that helps.)


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## Guitarist




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## NancyNGA




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## Guitarist




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## Phoenix

Guitarist said:


> LOL, Nancy!
> 
> Phoenix, you should be able to right-click on the laughing kitty photo and then left-click on "Save image as ..." to save it to your computer.
> 
> Unless you want a real laughing cat, and I guess you have to breed for that!  (Hope that helps.)



I was joking.


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## Guitarist




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## NancyNGA




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## Sassycakes




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## NancyNGA




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## NancyNGA




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## Guitarist




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## NancyNGA




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## Guitarist

\


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## Pappy

layful:


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## NancyNGA




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## Guitarist




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## NancyNGA




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## Guitarist




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## NancyNGA

They're always carping about something


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## Guitarist




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## NancyNGA




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## Guitarist




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## NancyNGA




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## Guitarist




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## NancyNGA

Groan...


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## Guitarist




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## Vee




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## NancyNGA




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## Guitarist




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## NancyNGA




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## Warrigal

:lofl: Great thread


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## NancyNGA




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## Pappy




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## NancyNGA

...


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## Vee




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## NancyNGA

Left-handed dancers?  I can't even remember.


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## NancyNGA

...


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## Meanderer




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## NancyNGA




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## Meanderer




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## Jingles

Loving all these!


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## NancyNGA




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## NancyNGA




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## NancyNGA




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## Vee




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## Vee




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## NancyNGA

:lol:  Good ones, Vee!


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## NancyNGA




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## NancyNGA




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## NancyNGA




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## NancyNGA




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## NancyNGA




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## NancyNGA




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## Pappy

mg:


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## Vee




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## Pappy

Excellent, Vee. nthego:


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## NancyNGA

...


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## NancyNGA

Occupied


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## NancyNGA




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## Meanderer




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## NancyNGA




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## Meanderer




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## NancyNGA




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## NancyNGA




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## Meanderer




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## NancyNGA

If it happened in the woods and no one saw it, did it really happen?


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## Sassycakes




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## Pappy

:lame:


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## Meanderer




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## NancyNGA




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## NancyNGA




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## Falcon

LOL  Nancy.   Luv it.


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## NancyNGA

Griping?  Can you still buy these?


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## NancyNGA




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## Meanderer




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## NancyNGA




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## NancyNGA




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## Meanderer




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## Meanderer




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## NancyNGA




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## NancyNGA




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## Falcon

That's not Beethoven, that's Trump!  Check out the hair.


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## NancyNGA

:goodone:


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## Pappy

Oh no.


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## Vee




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## NancyNGA




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## NancyNGA




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## Meanderer




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## NancyNGA




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## NancyNGA

Tell it to stop!


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## Meanderer




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## NancyNGA




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## Falcon

LOL   Nancy


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## NancyNGA




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## NancyNGA




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## NancyNGA




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## NancyNGA




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## NancyNGA




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## NancyNGA

Yikes!!!


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## NancyNGA

And you can't post a picture of it on Facebook, either.


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## NancyNGA




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## NancyNGA




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## NancyNGA




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## Meanderer




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## Ruthanne

These are so cute!:rofl:


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## NancyNGA

Oops!  Too late.


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## Meanderer




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## Meanderer




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## Pappy




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## Pappy




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## NancyNGA




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## NancyNGA




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## Meanderer




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## Pappy




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## NancyNGA

I apologize.  These are just so corny, they are funny (to me).  What can I say?


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## NancyNGA




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## Pappy




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## NancyNGA




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## Meanderer

"When pressed, the tailor, a material witness in the suit, came apart at the seams.  His altered testimony completely unraveled.  The tale he had woven had been a complete fabrication."


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## Pappy




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## NancyNGA

(deleted)


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## Meanderer

I  plead not guilty!



Meanderer said:


> "When pressed, the tailor, a material witness in the suit, came apart at the seams.  His altered testimony completely unraveled.  The tale he had woven had been a complete fabrication."[/QUOTE


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## Pappy

I'd hire a lawyer and sew. Groaner.......


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## Falcon

Did he pleat guilty


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## Meanderer

He skirted the issue, by hemming and hawing!


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## NancyNGA

Meanderer said:


> I  plead not guilty!


Sounds like a fabrication.^^^


It seams the attorney lined his pockets, and the judge showed a bias, but the verdict  was binding.


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## hauntedtexan

*A New 12 step Program*

There is a new 12 step program for people addicted to anonymous groups! 
It's called: Anon Andon Andon Andon


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## Pappy




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## Steve LS




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## Pappy




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## Meanderer




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## NancyNGA




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## Meanderer




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## Meanderer




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## Meanderer




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## NancyNGA




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## NancyNGA




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## NancyNGA




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## Meanderer




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## Meanderer




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## Pappy




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## Meanderer




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## Meanderer




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## Pappy




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## NancyNGA




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## Meanderer




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## Meanderer




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## Pappy




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## Meanderer




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## Granny B.

Great puns!


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## Pappy




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## NancyNGA




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## Pappy




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## NancyNGA




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## Grumpy Ol' Man

Make little things count.

Teach math to midgets.


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## Meanderer




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## Meanderer




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## Pappy




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## Granny B.




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## Grumpy Ol' Man




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## Meanderer

Really BIG Shoe!



Grumpy Ol' Man said:


> View attachment 39072


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## Grumpy Ol' Man

Meanderer said:


> Really BIG Shoe!



But when you "have so  many children you don't know what to do"............


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## Meanderer




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## NancyNGA




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## RadishRose

Meanderer said:


> Really BIG Shoe!


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## NancyNGA




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## Sassycakes

Why don't some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don't work out.

 Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.

  Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.


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## Pappy

[FONT=.SF UI Display][FONT=.SFUIDisplay-Bold]*A man rushed into the doctor's office and shouted, "Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!" *[/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT=.SF UI Display][FONT=.SFUIDisplay-Bold]*The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down. You'll just have to be a little patient."*[/FONT][/FONT]


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## Pappy




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## NancyNGA




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## Pappy

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. 

After an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. 

"But why?" they asked, as they moved off. 

"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."


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## Meanderer




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## Pappy




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## NancyNGA




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## Pappy




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## Meanderer




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## Pappy




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## Uncontrolable

NancyNGA said:


>



Stop it.  Just for that here comes a real bad one.  
What do you get when you cross a crab and a mattress?
A mattress, that when you fall asleep, tries to drag you under a rock and eat you.


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## NancyNGA

Uncontrolable said:


> Stop it.  Just for that here comes a real bad one.
> What do you get when you cross a crab and a mattress?
> A mattress, that when you fall asleep, tries to drag you under a rock and eat you.


Stop it.  Just for that here comes a real bad one.


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## Uncontrolable

NancyNGA said:


> Stop it.  Just for that here comes a real bad one.



Is it OK if I get fresh even though I've been a crab?


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## Meanderer




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## Uncontrolable

Meanderer said:


>


Its just right.


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## Pappy

A sailor was caught AWOL as he tried to sneak on board his ship at about 3 am. The chief petty officer spied him and ordered the sailor to stop. The officer ordered the sailor, "Take this broom and sweep every link on this anchor chain by morning or it's the brig for you!" 

The sailor picked up the broom and started to sweep the chain. 

Just then, a tern landed on the broom handle. The sailor yelled at the bird to leave, but it didn't. The lad picked the tern off the broom handle, giving the bird a toss. 

The bird left, only to return and light once again on the broom handle. The sailor went through the same routine all over again, with the same result. 

He couldn't get any cleaning done because he could only sweep at the chain once or twice before the silly bird came back. 

When morning came, so did the chief petty officer, to check up on his wayward sailor. 

"What on earth have you been doing all night? This chain is no cleaner than when you started! What have you to say for yourself, sailor?" barked the chief. 

"Honest, chief," came the reply, "I tossed a tern all night and couldn't sweep a link!"


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## Uncontrolable

Pappy said:


> A sailor was caught AWOL as he tried to sneak on board his ship at about 3 am. The chief petty officer spied him and ordered the sailor to stop. The officer ordered the sailor, "Take this broom and sweep every link on this anchor chain by morning or it's the brig for you!"
> 
> The sailor picked up the broom and started to sweep the chain.
> 
> Just then, a tern landed on the broom handle. The sailor yelled at the bird to leave, but it didn't. The lad picked the tern off the broom handle, giving the bird a toss.
> 
> The bird left, only to return and light once again on the broom handle. The sailor went through the same routine all over again, with the same result.
> 
> He couldn't get any cleaning done because he could only sweep at the chain once or twice before the silly bird came back.
> 
> When morning came, so did the chief petty officer, to check up on his wayward sailor.
> 
> "What on earth have you been doing all night? This chain is no cleaner than when you started! What have you to say for yourself, sailor?" barked the chief.
> 
> "Honest, chief," came the reply, "I tossed a tern all night and couldn't sweep a link!"



That was a good one.  You were in the Navy?  My father was a Sea Bee. Don't know why I ask that.  Not relevant.


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## Pappy

No..... Army, 6 years. Fort Dix, Aberdeen Proving Grounds and Camp Roberts, CA.

Hey private,
I didn't see you in camouflage class today.
Thank you sir.


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## Uncontrolable

Pappy said:


> No..... Army, 6 years. Fort Dix, Aberdeen Proving Grounds and Camp Roberts, CA.
> 
> Hey private,
> I didn't see you in camouflage class today.
> Thank you sir.


 
The real trick is in camouflaging your privates.


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## Uncontrolable

Guitarist said:


>



Or was he just trying to buffalo his son?


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## Uncontrolable

NancyNGA said:


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Randall darling this piano tuna smells fishy to me.


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## Uncontrolable

NancyNGA said:


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Dr. I have a suspicious looking growth said the mole.


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## Uncontrolable

Pappy said:


> Couldn't pass this thread up.



Those spiders are the largest I have ever seen but they are eating your varicose veins.


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## Uncontrolable

NancyNGA said:


>


Randall darling, the piano tuna is here, but this whole thing seems fishy.


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## Uncontrolable

Guitarist said:


> LOL, Nancy!
> 
> Phoenix, you should be able to right-click on the laughing kitty photo and then left-click on "Save image as ..." to save it to your computer.
> 
> Unless you want a real laughing cat, and I guess you have to breed for that!  (Hope that helps.)



Do laughing cats breed while laughing.  MEOW WA WA WA, MEOW OW OW OW OW WA WA WA, and so on.


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## Sassycakes




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## NancyNGA




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## Uncontrolable

Sassycakes said:


> View attachment 40930



I like the bottom of the poster.  "My eyes are ready to blow, how bout' yours.


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## Uncontrolable

NancyNGA said:


>



Art!!  I think I am quacking up!  Isn't that ducky?


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## NancyNGA




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## Pappy

Nancy...and hot tamale:


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## CeeCee

Nancy and Pappy...those 2 could also go in the groaner section,


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## Uncontrolable

NancyNGA said:


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Next you are going to tell me its raining cats and beans.


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## NancyNGA




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## Meanderer

_"AIR BORN"!_


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## Uncontrolable

NancyNGA said:


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You mean to tell me that you are not making these up as you go along?!  I am hurt, pun depressed.  That could also mean tongue depressed.  And that could mean there are nurses, running around, or in the same direction, with tongue depression devices,  helping with my pun depression.  If I was cured I might have to ask if a sub lime was the last thing you put on a sub.  Or, if it meant subs covered with limes and I ate one you could call me limey and I would have to move to England.  This is beginning to hurt even me. 

Thanks for the sublime response.


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## CeeCee




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## CeeCee




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## Uncontrolable

Meanderer said:


> _"AIR BORN"!_



I used to live in a place called Chino Valley, small town.  There was a mail box in front of one house about 12 feet up which said, "Chino Valley Air Mail."


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## Uncontrolable

CeeCee said:


> View attachment 40990



This was punderful.


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## Uncontrolable

CeeCee said:


> View attachment 40991



They will meet if they run across a very large sphere.  Then they will meet for an infinity.  This is unless there is a crack in the sphere then they will be crooked lines.  There must be some way out of this?  I know, I must line myself up and leave.


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## NancyNGA




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## Uncontrolable

NancyNGA said:


>



Oh No!  Its the attack of the Yogurt people?  They are sneaking up in black and white plain planes.  They harass anyone they can find.  So they are plain plane pains.  If you can say that 5 times fast you may pause the plain plane pains.  This is Pam signing off from the Plain Plane Pains Pun group.  So long.


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## NancyNGA

Uncontrolable said:


> ... If you can say that 5 times fast you may pause the plain plane pains. ...


OMG, I can barely say it even once!!!  And I can do Peter Piper just fine.  You have found a new one. Congrats, Mr. U!


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## Uncontrolable

NancyNGA said:


> OMG, I can barely say it even once!!!  And I can do Peter Piper just fine.  You have found a new one. Congrats, Mr. U!



You know, it gets tough when you throw out stuff like plane yogurt.  I considered that one to be particularly deviant.  Good Job yourself.  Tag, your it.


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## Uncontrolable

Uncontrolable said:


> You know, it gets tough when you throw out stuff like plane yogurt.  I considered that one to be particularly deviant.  Good Job yourself.  Tag, your it.



Oops, I goofed up the message.  I absolutely hate this format.  So I will say it again.  You know, it gets tough when you throw out stuff like plane yogurt.  I considered that one to be particularly deviant.  Good job yourself.  Tag, your it.


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## NancyNGA




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## Uncontrolable

"Yes, I got thru summer and fall," said Mr. Dumpty, but now its been 6 months, we are headed for winter, I am 5 weeks past my eggspiration date and I feel a little rancid."  "But you have always been a good egg.  What are you to do?"  "Don't know,"  said Humpty.  "I'm beginning to smell, I'm feeling pretty scrambled."  "Then Humpty thought, "I know what to do. can't stop thinking about eggstermination!"  Humpty ran for the wall, climbed up and went to the highest edge.  Humpty's friend knew Humpty would jump so he yelled, "WAIT!  "Let me get some water.  You don't have to eggspire.  We can make egg drop soup."  But Humpty yelled back, "I would like to eggspress my last wishes.  Go to the King's Men mortuary.  They can pick up the peices."  Then Mr. Dumpty rolled himself over easy and fell right off the edge.   The people below heard a big  SPLAT!,  that left them feeling queasy.


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## NancyNGA

Uncontrolable, thanks for the morning smile.


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## NancyNGA




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## NancyNGA




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## Uncontrolable

NancyNGA said:


>



chillier, chortled, shill, sill. severed, cut, hair harrier.


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## Sassycakes




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## Uncontrolable

Sassycakes said:


> View attachment 41272View attachment 41273



I am not burning too brightly today.  Actually, I'm all wet.


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## Meanderer




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## Sassycakes

A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic. So she gets a divorce.

My cross-eyed wife and I just got a divorce. We didn't see eye to eye. I also found out she was seeing someone on the side.

How do men define a "50/50" relationship? We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.


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## Pappy




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## NancyNGA




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## Meanderer




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## NancyNGA

Double groaner?


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## Pappy




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## Vee




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## Vega_Lyra




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## NancyNGA




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## Pappy

This one takes some thinking.....


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