# Children ‘Screaming’ in Stores



## Keesha (May 30, 2018)

How do you feel while you are out shopping and someone has a child in a shopping cart that won’t stop ‘screaming’ ( crying very loudly) and the mother just keeps pushing the cart like nothing is wrong, ignoring the child altogether?


----------



## IKE (May 30, 2018)

It happened just the other day while I was at the drug store and it bugs me to no end seeing a child screaming and throwing a tantrum and the mother just standing there shrugging it off.....total lack of good parenting skills.


----------



## JFBev (May 30, 2018)

Bet the little darling is worse at home, but that kind of scene just makes me leave the store as quickly as possible.  
Ike, was the mother focusing on her cell phone while the tantrum was happening?   That's when I count to 10...


----------



## Ruthanne (May 30, 2018)

It grates on my nerves for sure.


----------



## Falcon (May 30, 2018)

Unless  something was  REALLY  bothering  the child..........I'd  call it a brat !


----------



## hollydolly (May 30, 2018)

I'm sorry, but it gets on  my very last nerve...it really goes right through me, I can't stand it!!


----------



## C'est Moi (May 30, 2018)

If it's bratty screaming, it does get on my nerves.   I usually feel sorry for the mom, though.   Being a good parent is hard work.


----------



## bingo (May 30, 2018)

can't help but laugh...i just do


----------



## Keesha (May 30, 2018)

Normally it doesn’t bother me but it drives my husband crazy and always has. Since I’m not a mother I’m a bit reluctant to comment but today while out shopping in a big huge place, a woman was pushing a cart with a child screaming at the top of his lungs and this mother just kept going like there was nothing wrong. 

Now I don’t know the situation. Maybe she’s trying to teach him a lesson but I don’t think every shopper there should have to suffer along with him. Normally I laugh at my husband but this child screamed at the top of his lungs and most of the other shoppers were looking at her with a ‘what the .... ‘ look on their face. 

It was really difficult for me not to be judgmental at that moment. I couldn’t help but think that if she treats her child like this in public, how does she treat him at home? 

Another thought was that she has spoiled her child so much that he didn’t know how to behave in public. 

Another thought was, I’m so glad we have dogs. :laugh:


----------



## CindyLouWho (May 30, 2018)

This just happened to me last Friday at the dentist. My ears have not recovered from  this boy screaming on & on & on. Instead of the mother taking him out, this girl who worked at the front desk comes out in the waiting room with a bag full of toys and let's him pick one out to keep. 
I don't agree, he has to be taught to not act out without always getting a reward if he doesn't act out. 
He was probably 7 or 8 yrs old. He stopped screaming when he got the toy, then attempted to keep screaming. He was just turning it on and off.


----------



## Robusta (May 30, 2018)

Oh, I hate it too. When my oldest was about three, she had problem ears so she was whiney a lot.  I remember we were in Wal Greens one time and the little snot was holding her ear crying, no more like screaming. People were starting to look so I slapped that brat right across the kisser. Ya shoulda seen the look on her face! bUT HOT DAMN It sure shut  her the hell up and also taught her to behave in public!


----------



## Keesha (May 30, 2018)

Robusta said:


> Oh, I hate it too. When my oldest was about three, she had problem ears so she was whiney a lot.  I remember we were in Wal Greens one time and the little snot was holding her ear crying, no more like screaming. People were starting to look so I slapped that brat right across the kisser. Ya shoulda seen the look on her face! bUT HOT DAMN It sure shut  her the hell up and also taught her to behave in public!




:wtf:  :help1:

And you didn’t get arrested?


----------



## Keesha (May 30, 2018)

Robusta said:


> Oh, I hate it too. When my oldest was about three, she had problem ears so she was whiney a lot.  I remember we were in Wal Greens one time and the little snot was holding her ear crying, no more like screaming. People were starting to look so I slapped that brat right across the kisser. Ya shoulda seen the look on her face! bUT HOT DAMN It sure shut  her the hell up and also taught her to behave in public!



So your child was in pain from having problem ears , cried in public and your solution was to belt her across the face? 
And you’re proud of yourself?

I feel like slapping you myself right now but I’m too much of a lady to do so.


----------



## Keesha (May 30, 2018)

Am I the only one who sees a problem with this ???

When I wrote this thread I didn’t for the life of me expect someone to explain how they silenced a screaming child by abusing them. 

Not being a mother myself I’m not sure what the right action would be but I do know that this last posters response was not a right one. I’m not sure why nobody else is speaking up about this. Sure a crying child can be annoying but an arrogant coward is something entirely different. 

I’m shocked beyond belief right now. This is disgusting.


----------



## Keesha (May 30, 2018)

Is it possible to have this thread deleted please. 

I was expecting some parents to say they just leave the store with the child if this ever happens but didn’t expect the last response of someone admitting to abusing their own child if it screams from already being in pain.
I find it , not only offensive , but very disturbing!


----------



## Olivia (May 30, 2018)

Keesha said:


> Is it possible to have this thread deleted please.
> 
> I was expecting some parents to say they just leave the store with the child if this ever happens but didn’t expect the last response of someone admitting to abusing their own child if it screams from already being in pain.
> I find it , not only offensive , but very disturbing!



Me, too. I hope this was just a joke! But a bad one at that.


----------



## Shalimar (May 30, 2018)

Keesha said:


> Is it possible to have this thread deleted please.
> 
> I was expecting some parents to say they just leave the store with the child if this ever happens but didn’t expect the last response of someone admitting to abusing their own child if it screams from already being in pain.
> I find it , not only offensive , but very disturbing!


I do also, this is egregious. It is child abuse. No accountability, no remorse. Calling the sick child names.The person who needs to have their behaviour addressed is the parent not the child. Add to that, the complete lack of empathy for the child’s 

ear infection, I am disgusted. Anyone who has ever had an ear infection is all too aware of how painful they are. I presume this occurred decades ago, now, someone in the store would contact Social Services and the process would begin. If I saw such a thing, I am mandated under the law to report it.


----------



## Keesha (May 30, 2018)

Olivia said:


> Me, too. I hope this was just a joke! But a bad one at that.



It wasn’t a joke. The guy was serious. 

I was asking in the thread how people thought about parents who allow this to happen and I didn’t expect a member to admit to something so disturbing; unfortunately he wasn’t joking


----------



## C'est Moi (May 30, 2018)

Robusta said:


> Oh, I hate it too. When my oldest was about three, she had problem ears so she was whiney a lot.  I remember we were in Wal Greens one time and the little snot was holding her ear crying, no more like screaming. People were starting to look so I slapped that brat right across the kisser. Ya shoulda seen the look on her face! bUT HOT DAMN It sure shut  her the hell up and also taught her to behave in public!



Wow, a new low for SF.   You are pathetic.


----------



## Shalimar (May 30, 2018)

It is important to note that such a level of violence perpetrated against a child is rarely a single event. Usually part of a longstanding pattern of abuse.


----------



## Keesha (May 30, 2018)

Yes Shalimar and that’s the scariest part !


----------



## mitchezz (May 31, 2018)

I'm fairly certain Robusta was just being sarcastic. Kids whine and throw tanties for lots of different reasons. You can try soothing, distracting but sometimes nothing works. Many experts advise ignoring as a tactic.


----------



## Keesha (May 31, 2018)

mitchezz said:


> I'm fairly certain Robusta was just being sarcastic. Kids whine and throw tanties for lots of different reasons. You can try soothing, distracting but sometimes nothing works. Many experts advise ignoring as a tactic.



And I’m fairly certain he wasn’t. I’ve read plenty of his posts. 
He gave details about his reasoning for losing  it on his screaming ‘injured’ child and even expressed his delight in seeing her hurt expression.


----------



## mitchezz (May 31, 2018)

Keesha said:


> And I’m fairly certain he wasn’t. I’ve read plenty of his posts.
> He gave details about his reasoning to lose it on his screaming child and even expressed his delight in seeing her hurt expression.



I certainly hope that is not the case Keesha.


----------



## Ferocious (May 31, 2018)

Well said Keesha.


Screaming kids get on my wick for sure, but a grown up, 'so called man' assaulting a small child who is in pain makes me want to puke. One day, HOPEFULLY, this excuse for a man will get a good hiding off a proper man


----------



## terry123 (May 31, 2018)

*sick child*

I did not take mty children out when they were sick especially an ear ache.  If my child was acting ugly while we were out usually a look would suffice. Otherwise I would just leave the store. Its hard to believe a parent would slap a sick child or any child for that matter.


----------



## Keesha (May 31, 2018)

terry123 said:


> I did not take mty children out when they were sick especially an ear ache.  If my child was acting ugly while we were out usually a look would suffice. Otherwise I would just leave the store. Its hard to believe a parent would slap a sick child or any child for that matter.



THIS ^^^^^^ I consider a normal, loving,  parental response. 
Everything about it is logical but loving. This is the type of response I was expecting from a parent  who has had to deal with children

Thank you Terry!


----------



## Butterfly (May 31, 2018)

Robusta said:


> Oh, I hate it too. When my oldest was about three, she had problem ears so she was whiney a lot.  I remember we were in Wal Greens one time and the little snot was holding her ear crying, no more like screaming. People were starting to look so I slapped that brat right across the kisser. Ya shoulda seen the look on her face! bUT HOT DAMN It sure shut  her the hell up and also taught her to behave in public!



If this is true, it's horrifying.  Striking a sick child for crying out in pain and bragging about it??


----------



## Keesha (May 31, 2018)

Shalimar said:


> I do also, this is egregious. It is child abuse. No accountability, no remorse. Calling the sick child names.The person who needs to have their behaviour addressed is the parent not the child. Add to that, the complete lack of empathy for the child’s
> 
> ear infection, I am disgusted. Anyone who has ever had an ear infection is all too aware of how painful they are. I presume this occurred decades ago, now, someone in the store would contact Social Services and the process would begin. If I saw such a thing, I am mandated under the law to report it.



I agree Shalimar. If this were to have happened in this decade , someone would have contacted social services immediately.


----------



## Bee (May 31, 2018)

Hasn't it occurred to anyone that Robusta was taking the mickey because of all the moaning about children screaming in supermarkets and blaming bad parenting.

I have an autistic great grandaughter who has had several melt downs in supermarkets where she will lay on the floor shouting and screaming and it has absolutely nothing to do with bad parenting it is something that can't be helped....just a shame people are not more understanding but like to blame poor parenting all the time without knowing the true circumstances.

So what would you suggest to her mother....... not to take her out.


----------



## Ferocious (May 31, 2018)

Robusta made a cruel statement with NO hint that he was taking the mickey, so until Robusta comes on and explains that he was 'taking the mickey', then scorn will be heaped upon him for what he DID say.

I agree entirely with what you say about autistic children and the parents cannot be blamed for their behavour, but not every screaming kid in a supermarket is autistic.


----------



## hollydolly (May 31, 2018)

Ferocious said:


> Robusta made a cruel statement with NO hint that he was taking the mickey, so until Robusta comes on and explains that he was 'taking the mickey', then scorn will be heaped upon him for what he DID say.
> 
> I agree entirely with what you say about autistic children and the parents cannot be blamed for their behavour, but not every screaming kid in a supermarket is autistic.



 Agree completely. The minority of screaming out of control children in a public place have medical issues, most of them are just allowed by their parents to learn there are no consequences for their actions these days.

I have to say I read Robustas' post believing he was making a sick joke..verrrrrrry, verrrry bad taste ...  I can't believe for a second he would admit on a forum he hit a sick toddler ... so I'll reserve judgement for the moment...

That said, my father would hit me in public, so I know it happens


----------



## Bee (May 31, 2018)

Ferocious said:


> Robusta made a cruel statement with NO hint that he was taking the mickey, so until Robusta comes on and explains that he was 'taking the mickey', then scorn will be heaped upon him for what he DID say.
> 
> I agree entirely with what you say about autistic children and the parents cannot be blamed for their behavour, but not every screaming kid in a supermarket is autistic.




I prefer to reserve  judgement before condemning any one.

I am not saying every screaming child in a supermarket is autistic, what I am saying until people know the circumstances they should not blame poor parenting skills.

I knew nothing about autism until my great grandaughter was diagnosed and then I did research on it and because of that I would be much more tolerant of a screaming child and not condemn the parents  just because I don't know the circumstances.


----------



## RadishRose (May 31, 2018)

I don't think for a moment Robusta did such a thing!


----------



## Camper6 (May 31, 2018)

There was one screaming on the bus the other day.

I put my earphones on and turned the radio on.

Because of the pitch it didn't drown it out completely.  It's quite common.  Actually the mothers ignore them because if you try to stop them, they become worse.


----------



## Robusta (May 31, 2018)

Keesha said:


> And I’m fairly certain he wasn’t. I’ve read plenty of his posts.
> He gave details about his reasoning for losing  it on his screaming ‘injured’ child and even expressed his delight in seeing her hurt expression.



*Keesha, you can kiss my lily white ass. You "know" me from a few posts on a forum board?

Anyone who thinks that myself or anyone would come out in public bragging about child abuse does not rank especially high in the intelligence department.  I have three children five grandchildren and 3 great grandchildren.  Never have I used any method of corporal punishment on them.  I find sitting them is a chair and  long boring lecture will suffice.

I guess that some people want the world to be so evil, that instead of thinking a bit,they take every character typed as gospel.

I made this SATIRICAL POST because every poster without exception accused the parents of an upset Kid of bad or neglectful parenting.  Not a one of you considered that the kid may be sick, that the parent needed food in the house had worked a ten hour day,gotten the older kids off the school bus, or any of a million human travails that parent may be experiencing!

Oh no as long as your private quiet little shopping spree is not compromised by another human,all is fine.

Nice empathy folks!*


----------



## twinkles (May 31, 2018)

nobody hits a sick child they try to comfort them cause they are hurting---usually a child screaming in a store is either tired or hungry--pay back  is a bi$$$


----------



## ndynt (May 31, 2018)

Curious, just what would you all do it you were the mother of that child?  Am sure that she  just as upset as the shoppers were.  Perhaps even more so, frustrated not being able to quiet the child, knowing how annoyed others were, as well aware they are condemning her.  Yet needing to buy groceries.   Can totally empathize, for one of my boys was a screamer.


----------



## AZ Jim (May 31, 2018)

Wow!  Calm people...


----------



## Keesha (May 31, 2018)

No I’d rather not kiss your ass Robusta.


Ok let’s break down what you said sentence by sentence. 
*******************
Quote: Oh I hate it too. ( simple enough, many do )


********************
When my oldest was three, she had problem ears, so she was whiney a lot. 
( yes I clearly understood that she was sick which I mentioned )


True or just kidding?
********************
I remember we were in Walgreens one time and the ‘little snot’ was holding her ear crying , no more like screaming? 

( you have a specific location )

True or just kidding?
*********************
People were starting to look so I slapped that ‘brat’ right across the kisser. 


True or just kidding?
********************
You shoulda seen the look on her face!


True or just kidding?
********************
BUT HOT DAMN It sure shut her the hell up and also taught her to behave in public. Unquote.


True or just kidding?


So every single sentence was a joke that I and everyone else should know? 


*********************
“””””””””””””””””””
Now you say :


Quote: Not one of you considered that the child may be sick , that the parent needed food in the house and that the parent had worked ten hours that day, gotten the older kids off the school bus or any of a million other travails that the parent might be experiencing . :Unquote.


“””””””””””””””””””””””””””””


Ok so while you were merely joking about the entire other paragraph you felt the need to justify what exactly with this next paragraph?

Of course you don’t have to answer any of these questions but to my mind this is how it looked to me (and others.)


And to be perfectly honest Robusta, I rarely,  if ever say boo about anybody’s parenting skills. 
One,  because I have no children of my own and would feel exceptionally arrogant offering any advice whatsoever. 

Two , because I didn’t have good role models myself , so have never felt a right to speak out about it ; however , if I do ever feel like there is abuse going on , I will always speak out about it. I’d rather look like a caring fool than one who turns a blind eye and doesn’t give a chit.


----------



## Robusta (May 31, 2018)

Keesha I was not joking!  I was attempting to point out that people see something that they don't like (screaming children) and then heap all kinds of shade on the parents. They make no attempt what so ever to put themselves in another persons shoes.

You were so eager,so rabid,so viscious in your attack on me!  Do you really think that there exists anyone so callous ansd twisted to do something like that to a child and then brag about it?

I know that I am brash,plain spoken, and can be crude,  but please tell me what I have ever posted that causes you to think that of me?


----------



## Shalimar (May 31, 2018)

I work in a field where I regularly see the effects of rage on children, beaten, broken, often murdered. I have seen perps brag about it on Facebook. One man shook his child so hard she died from the injuries. They were in Walmart.  Also, several posters 

have posted of experiencing  abusive childhoods. While I am greatly relieved that in this case the abuse did not occcur, I think the post  was in poor taste. Speaking of empathy, there was none given to those survivors of childhood abuse. Reading this thread is an incitement to being triggered.


----------



## RadishRose (May 31, 2018)

Robusta said:


> I know that I am brash,plain spoken, and can be crude,  but please tell me what I have ever posted that causes you to think that of me?



I know I shouldn't speak for another person, but I feel compelled to offer this:

I believe Keesha took you at your word *as did the rest*. It wasn't easy to see the sarcasm. 

Keesha later said-

" _however , if I do ever feel like there is abuse going on , I will always  speak out about it. I’d rather look like a caring fool than one who  turns a blind eye and doesn’t give a chit."

_I think that's an admirable quality.


----------



## StarSong (May 31, 2018)

When I see a young child screaming in a public place I generally smile at the parent and gently say, "Been there, done that, feel your pain."   

In my experience, a parent who lets a child scream it out does so because he/she has previously tried all other means of hushing that child.  Rare indeed are the parents who want to disturb other shoppers or make spectacles of themselves.


----------



## Sunny (May 31, 2018)

Robusta, I'm glad, and relieved, to hear that you were just being sarcastic. I also took you at your word. Maybe your sarcasm skills need to be polished a little; if you are too subtle about the fact that you are
"just kidding," people might not realize that.

The signs at airport security say, "We take jokes seriously."  While that is not who we are here, sometimes an attempt at humor might be taken seriously also.

To get back to the subject, I generally sympathize with the embarrassed, and pretty much helpless, parent. Except, as someone has pointed out, if the parent is too engrossed in her phone conversation to give the kid some
desparately needed attention. I've been in stores where a young child is saying, "Ma? Ma?" over and over again, obviously needing Mommy's attention, and the mother is totally oblivious, chatting away on the phone. Unfortunately, being a parent doesn't require an intelligence test. It should.


----------



## RadishRose (May 31, 2018)

ndynt said:


> Curious, just what would you all do it you were the mother of that child?  Am sure that she  just as upset as the shoppers were.  Perhaps even more so, frustrated not being able to quiet the child, knowing how annoyed others were, as well aware they are condemning her.  Yet needing to buy groceries.   Can totally empathize, for one of my boys was a screamer.



It never happened to me, but bear in mind I only have one child. So to answer your question Nona, I would take the child out of the store and go home.


----------



## Shalimar (May 31, 2018)

StarSong said:


> When I see a young child screaming in a public place I generally smile at the parent and gently say, "Been there, done that, feel your pain."
> 
> In my experience, a parent who lets a child scream it out does so because he/she has previously tried all other means of hushing that child.  Rare indeed are the parents who want to disturb other shoppers or make spectacles of themselves.


I agree.


----------



## hollydolly (May 31, 2018)

RadishRose said:


> I know I shouldn't speak for another person, but I feel compelled to offer this:
> 
> I believe Keesha took you at your word *as did the rest*. It wasn't easy to see the sarcasm.


  No , not _everyone... 
_


----------



## hollydolly (May 31, 2018)

Sunny said:


> Robusta, I'm glad, and relieved, to hear that you were just being sarcastic. I also took you at your word. Maybe your sarcasm skills need to be polished a little; if you are too subtle about the fact that you are
> "just kidding," people might not realize that.
> 
> The signs at airport security say, "We take jokes seriously."  While that is not who we are here, sometimes an attempt at humor might be taken seriously also.
> ...



100% agree... and the other one that gets my back up is parents crossing the road, pushing a pram with one hand, toddler or more kids walking by the side of the pram, and the mother (and sadly it's usually the mother)..staring at her phone, completely oblivious to the safety of the children or the fact that they're in mortal danger.


----------



## C'est Moi (May 31, 2018)

Robusta said:


> *
> 
> I made this SATIRICAL POST because every poster without exception accused the parents of an upset Kid of bad or neglectful parenting...*




Not that I give a flying frack, but you are mistaken.   Yesterday, I said this...



C'est Moi said:


> If it's bratty screaming, it does get on my nerves.*   I usually feel sorry for the mom, though.   Being a good parent is hard work.*




So you can climb off your high horse.   Your ugly post did not sound like a "joke."   I raised 5 children, so I know how exhausting parenting can be.


----------



## Olivia (May 31, 2018)

The really sad part about "the joke" was how the parent seemed so "pleased" about what they did to quiet the child. That was the ugly part. Even if it was fiction, it was written to produce outrage. And that was just really manipulative at best, and hateful at worst. To expect people to not get upset about it is just not clued into how real people think and react.


----------



## AZ Jim (May 31, 2018)

Robusta said:


> Keesha I was not joking!  I was attempting to point out that people see something that they don't like (screaming children) and then heap all kinds of shade on the parents. They make no attempt what so ever to put themselves in another persons shoes.
> 
> You were so eager,so rabid,so viscious in your attack on me!  Do you really think that there exists anyone so callous ansd twisted to do something like that to a child and then brag about it?
> 
> I know that I am brash,plain spoken, and can be crude,  but please tell me what I have ever posted that causes you to think that of me?


Unfortunately there ARE people who are just as cruel as you reflected in your post.  You most likely thought it a simple "joke".  Many did not.  In the future were I you I would avoid those kinds of attempts at "humor".  In short it wasn't funny...


----------



## RadishRose (May 31, 2018)

hollydolly said:


> No , not _everyone...
> _



Good to know. I only have 6 eyes, ya' know, lol.


----------



## hollydolly (May 31, 2018)

RadishRose said:


> Good to know. I only have 6 eyes, ya' know, lol.


  I coulda swore you had more than that...lol


----------



## Victor (May 31, 2018)

What is the difference between a German sausage and a screaming kid?"

One is a bratwurst and the other is the worst brat!


My joke.   I like bratwursts but not worst brats.


----------



## RadishRose (May 31, 2018)

Clever play on words . A bit of levity can be just the right touch. Thanks, Victor.

Now, I would like a German sausage mit bratkartoffeln and some sauerkraut. Maybe a beer, too.
[h=1][/h]


----------



## JFBev (May 31, 2018)

I agree, Keesha -- if the child is abused when acting up, it's awful to think what happens when other people aren't around.  Ugh.


----------



## Knight (May 31, 2018)

Can't help but feel sorry for some mothers that have to do the shopping AND care for a child or children that can be cranky. The other day I came across a mom and 3 little ones. Two on the outside of the shopping cart holding on to it making pushing it difficult. The other one about 3 clinging to the womans leg screaming. 


I stopped to ask the little screamer if she knew her colors. She stopped screaming to stare at me. The mother wary of a stranger talking to her kids gave me a look like good mother's do. I was quick to explain that when our kids were small giving them something to do helped. The two clinging to the cart could help get the items the 3 yr. old could tell her mom what color was on the box or can. 


Two aisles later the mom mouthed thank you to me as her kids were helping her. It always took longer for me to shop but the extra time spent was well worth it.


----------



## Ruthanne (May 31, 2018)

Knight said:


> Can't help but feel sorry for some mothers that have to do the shopping AND care for a child or children that can be cranky. The other day I came across a mom and 3 little ones. Two on the outside of the shopping cart holding on to it making pushing it difficult. The other one about 3 clinging to the womans leg screaming.
> 
> 
> I stopped to ask the little screamer if she knew her colors. She stopped screaming to stare at me. The mother wary of a stranger talking to her kids gave me a look like good mother's do. I was quick to explain that when our kids were small giving them something to do helped. The two clinging to the cart could help get the items the 3 yr. old could tell her mom what color was on the box or can.
> ...


I love that!  What a great post!


----------



## Falcon (May 31, 2018)

Seriously.  Everybody who witnesses  a grown man  slapping  a crying  child  should report it to the police.

People like that  should be closely  watched  as  they are usually the type   who  hit the newspaper  headlines  for killing a bunch of

innocent  people  of any age.  They are always  cowards.  Some may even be  members of  an otherwise  friendly  computer  forum.


----------



## treeguy64 (May 31, 2018)

I will not hesitate to go up to a screaming child and sternly say, "Hey, your screaming is a drag. You need to quiet down, because you're disturbing people!"  If the child is an infant, I ask the parent what's going on.  I ushered for twenty years.  I'm more confrontational than many, I guess, when the public is being annoyed by bad behavior.  FWIW: I've never gotten any flack when I've done the above.


----------



## Gary O' (May 31, 2018)

Just a week or so ago, a tyke was screaming his lungs out in the check out line
mother seemed oblivious
I thought ('man, how long can he keep this up?')

so

I got down in his face and watched







little critter stopped right away


----------



## Robusta (May 31, 2018)

Falcon said:


> Seriously.  Everybody who witnesses  a grown man  slapping  a crying  child  should report it to the police.
> 
> People like that  should be closely  watched  as  they are usually the type   who  hit the newspaper  headlines  for killing a bunch of
> 
> innocent  people  of any age.  They are always  cowards.  Some may even be  members of  an otherwise  friendly  computer  forum.


*
And some may be old men making snarky comments about members of that "friendly" board.

Seriously if you see any, one man or woman hit a child go to the police
*


----------



## Robusta (May 31, 2018)

*​Where is ole Lon, He was looking for some excitement?*


----------



## Bee (May 31, 2018)

treeguy64 said:


> I will not hesitate to go up to a screaming child and sternly say, "Hey, you're screaming is a drag. You need to quiet down, because you're disturbing people!"  If the child is an infant, I ask the parent what's going on.  I ushered for twenty years.  I'm more confrontational than many, I guess, when the public is being annoyed by bad behavior.  FWIW: I've never gotten any flack when I've done the above.




As I mentioned in an earlier post, it is not always bad behaviour why a child is screaming.......people that jump to conclusions without knowing the true circumstances are very judgemental in my opinion...........FWIW if someone like you spoke to my child in the way you said you would and without knowing the circumstances of the screaming, you would get more than just flack from me.........I cannot abide interfering people.


----------



## NancyNGA (May 31, 2018)

Gary O' said:


> Just a week or so ago, a tyke was screaming his lungs out in the check out line
> mother seemed oblivious
> I thought ('man, how long can he keep this up?')
> 
> ...


Gary, your story reminds me of my father and my little cousin. She was a "difficult" child, always wanting to be the center of attention.  Out in the middle of the room performing, while adults were trying to carry on a conversation, interrupting her mother while she was trying to talk.  All my dad had to do was give her "the stare" and she sat down and behaved herself.  Neither of her parents seemed to be able to control her.


----------



## Olivia (May 31, 2018)

Any of you ever recall making a screaming fuss in a store or restaurant as a child? It never would have entered my mind to do something like that. I think parents back then were much stricter. I don't know. Am I wrong?


----------



## Gary O' (May 31, 2018)

Olivia said:


> Any of you ever recall making a screaming fuss in a store or restaurant as a child? It never would have entered my mind to do something like that. I think parents back then were much stricter. I don't know. Am I wrong?



I was very happy to be not heard

worked on being not seen later on


----------



## NancyNGA (May 31, 2018)

Olivia said:


> Any of you ever recall making a screaming fuss in a store or restaurant as a child? It never would have entered my mind to do something like that. I think parents back then were much stricter. I don't know. Am I wrong?


Never. I wouldn't dare even think about what would have happened if I had done something like that.:eewwk: 

Seriously though, at first there was a fear that something bad might happen, so I never tested it. Later it was more like I wouldn't want to disappoint them. I don't know how they did that.  It was some kind of talent they had. lol


----------



## treeguy64 (Jun 1, 2018)

Bee said:


> As I mentioned in an earlier post, it is not always bad behaviour why a child is screaming.......people that jump to conclusions without knowing the true circumstances are very judgemental in my opinion...........FWIW if someone like you spoke to my child in the way you said you would and without knowing the circumstances of the screaming, you would get more than just flack from me.........I cannot abide interfering people.



And I cannot abide ignorant, insensitive parents/guardians who feel their child is so special/privileged that he/she doesn't need to conform to societal norms, as the same applies to common decency in a public place! Not sure what you meant by getting "more then just flack" from you. I suppose if you accept poor behavior from a child, you probably model the same, yourself. The local constables would be quickly summoned to put you in your (their) place.


----------



## KingsX (Jun 1, 2018)

.

I haven't had an issue with children screaming in public.
But on a recent trip to the supermarket, a girl about 8
was mowing people down with a shopping cart.

.


----------



## Bee (Jun 1, 2018)

treeguy64 said:


> And I cannot abide ignorant, insensitive parents/guardians who feel their child is so special/privileged that he/she doesn't need to conform to societal norms, as the same applies to common decency in a public place! Not sure what you meant by getting "more then just flack" from you. I suppose if you accept poor behavior from a child, you probably model the same,_* yourself. The local constables would be quickly summoned to put you in your (their) place*_.




Thankfully I don't live in the USA. with attitudes like that.

If you had taken the time to read my original post, you would have read I have a great grandaughter that has autism and ADHD and with children with that condition they cannot conform to what the likes of you expect from them and if you had any understanding of what parents go through with children of those conditions or mental problems you *might* repeat *might* just find it in yourself to be a little more understanding instead of critisising the parents or the child.


----------



## KingsX (Jun 1, 2018)

.

My son was autistic.  He didn't speak but sometimes he would act inappropriate in public.
Once when we were waiting in line at a cafeteria,  he suddenly ran over to a big black guy
who looked like a football player.   I was right behind my son, apologizing to the man who
very nicely said:  "You are blessed."

.


----------



## Bee (Jun 1, 2018)

Thankyou KingsX, you will understand what I have been trying to say.

My great grandaughter does speak but she doesn't understand what she is saying the majority of the time and she has been known to go up to a complete stranger and hug them and of course from that comes the apologies and explanations from her mother.


----------



## treeguy64 (Jun 1, 2018)

Bee said:


> Thankfully I don't live in the USA. with attitudes like that.
> 
> If you had taken the time to read my original post, you would have read I have a great grandaughter that has autism and ADHD and with children with that condition they cannot conform to what the likes of you expect from them and if you had any understanding of what parents go through with children of those conditions or mental problems you *might* repeat *might* just find it in yourself to be a little more understanding instead of critisising the parents or the child.



If you have to deal with a child who, unfortunately, lacks "normal" control mechanisms when in public places, then you refrain from visiting the same with said child. Problem solved.  If you want to reply with something to the effect that taking this child out in public places is unavoidable, at times, I'd say you need to rethink your situation and consider having a sitter/child minder when you must venture out in public. No, I am not heartless. I simply am considering the rights of the many, to not be disturbed by a caterwauling individual, over the right of that individual to scream his/her head off, in public. (No such right exists, in any country that I know of.)


----------



## Bee (Jun 1, 2018)

treeguy64 said:


> If you have to deal with a child who, unfortunately, lacks "normal" control mechanisms when in public places, then you refrain from visiting the same with said child. Problem solved.  If you want to reply with something to the effect that taking this child out in public places is unavoidable, at times, I'd say you need to rethink your situation and consider having a sitter/child minder when you must venture out in public. No, I am not heartless. I simply am considering the rights of the many, to not be disturbed by a caterwauling individual, over the right of that individual to scream his/her head off, in public. (No such right exists, in any country that I know of.)



OK maybe we should just lock all those children away then out of sight out of mind would that suit you????...............you may not think you are heartless but you are heartless with no understanding........  people are obviously more tolerant and understanding where I live.


----------



## hollydolly (Jun 1, 2018)

Olivia said:


> Any of you ever recall making a screaming fuss in a store or restaurant as a child? It never would have entered my mind to do something like that. I think parents back then were much stricter. I don't know. Am I wrong?



Never..absolutely Never, and neither did my own daughter.. not even  once!!


----------



## treeguy64 (Jun 1, 2018)

hollydolly said:


> Never..absolutely Never, and neither did my own daughter.. not even  once!!



When my wife and two daughters were out in restaurants, with me, people came up to our table, many times, to complement my daughters on their excellent behavior, from the time they were very, very young. Had I had unmanageable children, due to genetic defects, I would never have inflicted them on the public. NEVER!


----------



## treeguy64 (Jun 1, 2018)

Bee said:


> OK maybe we should just lock all those children away then out of sight out of mind would that suit you????...............you may not think you are heartless but you are heartless with no understanding........  people are obviously more tolerant and understanding where I live.



Lol! OK, I get it. You're a troll. You got me. Congrats! Obviously, you're not really in favor of taking unmanageable, screaming brats, who may have genetic defects that predispose them to loud public outbursts, out in public so they can inflict themselves on the same. Nobody could be so narrow minded as to condone responsible adults doing that. I'm now through with feeding you, troll. You may now move on to try and sucker others in here. However, you are hereby outed!


----------



## Bee (Jun 1, 2018)

:shrug:


----------



## mitchezz (Jun 1, 2018)

No wonder I prefer online shopping. Staying out of the shops protects me from marauding groups of crotchety and grumpy senior citizens looking for something to complain about.


----------



## Shalimar (Jun 1, 2018)

Bee said:


> OK maybe we should just lock all those children away then out of sight out of mind would that suit you????...............you may not think you are heartless but you are heartless with no understanding........  people are obviously more tolerant and understanding where I live.



They are more tolerant and understanding where I live also. My son threw three tantrums when he was four, never again. He outgrew them as most kids do. Had he been autistic, he probably would have thrown more. 

Should he have been imprisoned at home? I think not. What about the obnoxious adults who air their dirty laundry in public at the top of their lungs, or pick fights with you in the gardening centre? Yell at you in the grocery store because you are wearing 

South Asian clothing? Then there is road rage. Let’s keep them out of public places, please. Oh, wait a minute, that would be infringing on their rights. Children are people too, deserving of kindness, patience,  and respect. Socialisation is a process 

which takes time. It is well to remember that kids raised in overly stern, didactic households rarely grow up to be emotionally healthy adults. They are especially prone to substance abuse, and often vulnerable to the machinations of cult leaders. If 

discipline is not regularly applied in a calm reasonable manner, children grow to believe they are unworthy, unloveable, and that message instills a huge millstone of self doubt which haunts them all their lives.


----------



## IKE (Jun 1, 2018)

Shalimar said:


> They are more tolerant and understanding where I live also. My son threw three tantrums when he was four, never again. He outgrew them as most kids do. Had he been autistic, he probably would have thrown more.
> 
> Should he have been imprisoned at home? I think not. What about the obnoxious adults who air their dirty laundry in public at the top of their lungs, or pick fights with you in the gardening centre? Yell at you in the grocery store because you are wearing
> 
> ...




Road rage ?.....don't even get me started on a$$holes driving with their heads up their a$$es.

I swear if one more idiot cuts in front of me and creeps along at 50 mph when I'm in the fast lane doing 70 mph or shoots through a red light causing me to slam on the brakes to avoid an accident I'm gonna..........


----------



## Shalimar (Jun 1, 2018)

IKE said:


> Road rage ?.....don't even get me started on a$$holes driving with their heads up their a$$es.
> 
> I swear if one more idiot cuts in front of me and creeps along at 50 mph when I'm in the fast lane doing 70 mph or shoots through a red light causing me to slam on the brakes to avoid an accident I'm gonna..........
> 
> View attachment 52734


Eeeeeek!


----------



## Butterfly (Jun 1, 2018)

NancyNGA said:


> Never. I wouldn't dare even think about what would have happened if I had done something like that.:eewwk:
> 
> Seriously though, at first there was a fear that something bad might happen, so I never tested it. Later it was more like I wouldn't want to disappoint them. I don't know how they did that.  It was some kind of talent they had. lol


\

Whatever talent your parents had, mine had the same one.  Had we acted up, the first thing that would have happened is that we would have been taken out of the public place so fast it would have made our heads swim.  As you said above, I wouldn't even have dared to think what would have happened when we got home.  And no, my parents were definitely not abusers and we did not live in fear of them -- there was just a mystical "something bad" that we knew would happen if we misbehaved in public, so we never did it.


----------



## Elsie (Jun 1, 2018)

Some necessary shopping days a mother with a howling child (and she has no babysitter) in a grocery store is just too beat/tired to shut up the kid, she can only hope she & child won't be kicked out of the store.  Non-tired mothers who don't bother to even try to shut up their kid, well, bye bye, please leave.

I have a neurological disorder (Essential tremor shaking head to toe).  http://tremortales.com One day, while at an apartment pool where I'd taken my grandson, a little girl there would scream & scream while at play & the loudness of each scream worsened my shaking--quite uncomfortable and embarrassing.  A day later I told my good female friend about this and she, (embarrassed, I think) told me the little girl was her son's daughter.  (Ohhh no, I thought.  )  Talk about a small world.......


----------



## StarSong (Jun 1, 2018)

Maybe I screamed in public, maybe I didn't.  My early childhood is way back in the rear view mirror.  I do know that there was greater tolerance for kids back then.  I also know that the older I get the "better" a child I think I was.  Of course, that rose-colored memory flies in the face of some of my other memories, namely the numerous smacks, spankings, scoldings, hollerings, and time in the corner that I was subjected to in my youth.  As were my siblings and most of my friends.  (Meantime, our parents' generation complained bitterly that THEY were never permitted to behave that way when THEY were children...)     

I'm fairly tolerant of misbehaving children, having not been personally born an adult.


----------



## Shalimar (Jun 1, 2018)

StarSong said:


> Maybe I screamed in public, maybe I didn't.  My early childhood is way back in the rear view mirror.  I do know that there was greater tolerance for kids back then.  I also know that the older I get the "better" a child I think I was.  Of course, that rose-colored memory flies in the face of some of my other memories, namely the numerous smacks, spankings, scoldings, hollerings, and time in the corner that I was subjected to in my youth.  As were my siblings and most of my friends.  (Meantime, our parents' generation complained bitterly that THEY were never permitted to behave that way when THEY were children...)
> 
> I'm fairly tolerant of misbehaving children, having not been personally born an adult.


Precisely!


----------



## Marie5656 (Jun 1, 2018)

*Let me try to put this back on track. I was once a cashier in a store. A woman came in with a boy about 4, who appeared to be in need of a nap. He was a bit cranky. So she dragged him up to me and said to him "If you do not shut up, I will have this lady call the cops on you". I politely reminded her to not threaten her child that way and I would not participate in this.  I feel that a child should know he can trust a casher or police, especially if lost.  This does not help.   
I have encountered whiny kids, and frustrated/embarased parents.  I try to console the mom, and child, in hopes to let mom know not all people will get upset with them.  
*


----------



## RadishRose (Jun 1, 2018)

Gary O' said:


> Just a week or so ago, a tyke was screaming his lungs out in the check out line
> mother seemed oblivious
> I thought ('man, how long can he keep this up?')
> 
> ...



The little critter probably thought he pissed off Santa Claus- true cause for alarm!


----------



## RadishRose (Jun 1, 2018)

Bee said:


> Thankfully I don't live in the USA. with attitudes like that.
> 
> If you had taken the time to read my original post, you would have read I have a great grandaughter that has autism and ADHD and with children with that condition they cannot conform to what the likes of you expect from them and if you had any understanding of what parents go through with children of those conditions or mental problems you *might* repeat *might* just find it in yourself to be a little more understanding instead of critisising the parents or the child.



Are you serious? You base your opinion of an entire country on a few lines by a few people on a tiny little Internet forum? That's sheer idiocy. Maybe I'm thankful you *don't* live in the USA.


----------



## Bee (Jun 1, 2018)

........and if you had read the post just before I posted that (about the police coming after me) you might just understand why I said that.


----------



## hollydolly (Jun 1, 2018)

Elsie said:


> Some necessary shopping days a mother with a howling child (and she has no babysitter) in a grocery store is just too beat/tired to shut up the kid, she can only hope she & child won't be kicked out of the store.  Non-tired mothers who don't bother to even try to shut up their kid, well, bye bye, please leave.
> 
> I have a neurological disorder (Essential tremor shaking head to toe).  http://tremortales.com One day, while at an apartment pool where I'd taken my grandson, a little girl there would scream & scream while at play & the loudness of each scream worsened my shaking--quite uncomfortable and embarrassing.  A day later I told my good female friend about this and she, (embarrassed, I think) told me the little girl was her son's daughter.  (Ohhh no, I thought.  )  Talk about a small world.......



Oh wow Elsie...did your friend at least commiserate with you regarding her grandchild ,especially being aware of your condition


----------



## Shalimar (Jun 1, 2018)

Bee said:


> ........and if you had read the post just before I posted that (about the police coming after me) you might just understand why I said that.


You were attacked by him because you stood up to his egregious comments re children with disabilities which may cause them to act out in public. These children should not have to be locked away simply because some adults are inconvenienced by them. Totally understandable that you reacted as you did. Also, for some, it seems to be ok to criticise  other countries, yet any criticism of America is viewed as tabu. Double standard. Bullying tactic.


----------



## RadishRose (Jun 1, 2018)

Who criticized other countries on this thread?


----------



## jujube (Jun 1, 2018)

I know now that Robusta's post was just a pot-stirrer, so my blood pressure has returned to normal.  Let's see less of that sort of thing, man.  We don't need that kind of flap on here.


----------



## Falcon (Jun 1, 2018)

You said it  Jujube !   Why allow some  $h..  for  brains  spoil the fun ?!


----------



## Happyflowerlady (Jun 1, 2018)

Falcon said:


> You said it  Jujube !   Why allow some  $h..  for  brains  spoil the fun ?!



Falcon, I thought that you were well enough educated to make your point without name calling. The mark of a true gentleman is found in his vocabulary, and I would have thought that this kind of speech would be unnecessary to express your feelings here.


----------



## hearlady (Jun 1, 2018)

I just started reading this thread. I found a great help for this.
I carry stickers in my purse. When I encounter a screaming child in the grocery cart I walk up gently so the parent knows it's safe and I place  sticker on the cart handle in front of the child without saying a word.
In 8 cases out of 10 the child looks at me, looks at their parent, looks at the sticker and just stops.
I give the parent a couple extras and they look so appreciative.
Diversion is a good tool for little tools.


----------



## StarSong (Jun 1, 2018)

hearlady said:


> I just started reading this thread. I found a great help for this.
> I carry stickers in my purse. When I encounter a screaming child in the grocery cart I walk up gently so the parent knows it's safe and I place  sticker on the cart handle in front of the child without saying a word.
> In 8 cases out of 10 the child looks at me, looks at their parent, looks at the sticker and just stops.
> I give the parent a couple extras and they look so appreciative.
> Diversion is a good tool for little tools.



Aren't you a sweetheart?  ♥  I love your idea and am going to keep some stickers in my purse from now on.  Thank you for this!


----------



## Traveler (Jun 1, 2018)

Robusta said:


> Oh, I hate it too. When my oldest was about three, she had problem ears so she was whiney a lot.  I remember we were in Wal Greens one time and the little snot was holding her ear crying, no more like screaming. People were starting to look so I slapped that brat right across the kisser. Ya shoulda seen the look on her face! bUT HOT DAMN It sure shut  her the hell up and also taught her to behave in public!



Robusta, be glad, very glad, that I was not present when that happened. My instinct would have been to lay you out. I would have then pressed charges for child abuse. Maybe I'd also have been arrested, but it would have been worth it.


----------



## Keesha (Jun 1, 2018)

Thank you my friend :heart:


----------



## Bee (Jun 1, 2018)

Shalimar said:


> You were attacked by him because you stood up to his egregious comments re children with disabilities which may cause them to act out in public. These children should not have to be locked away simply because some adults are inconvenienced by them. Totally understandable that you reacted as you did. Also, for some, it seems to be ok to criticise  other countries, yet any criticism of America is viewed as tabu. Double standard. Bullying tactic.




Thankyou Shalimar, much appreciated.


----------



## Pam (Jun 2, 2018)

The original post was about a child in a shopping cart that won't stop screaming but seems to have morphed into behaviour/criticism of children in general and of course parents of today! If the child is in a shopping cart then it indicates this is a toddler or younger. An age where perhaps the 'look' from a parent doesn't work and ignoring a tantrum or outburst is probably the best solution. 

Regarding children with autism etc. and the comment that children who 'lack normal control mechanisms' be kept at home/left with a sitter/child minder when you venture out in public..... I find that disgusting. But putting that aside and just thinking about leaving children at home while you 'venture out in public'. Does everyone have someone they can leave their children with as and when required? I certainly didn't when mine were young.


----------



## Shalimar (Jun 2, 2018)

Pam said:


> The original post was about a child in a shopping cart that won't stop screaming but seems to have morphed into behaviour/criticism of children in general and of course parents of today! If the child is in a shopping cart then it indicates this is a toddler or younger. An age where perhaps the 'look' from a parent doesn't work and ignoring a tantrum or outburst is probably the best solution.
> 
> Regarding children with autism etc. and the comment that children who 'lack normal control mechanisms' be kept at home/left with a sitter/child minder when you venture out in public..... I find that disgusting. But putting that aside and just thinking about leaving children at home while you 'venture out in public'. Does everyone have someone they can leave their children with as and when required? I certainly didn't when mine were young.


Neither did I.


----------



## KingsX (Jun 2, 2018)

treeguy64 said:


> If you have to deal with a child who, unfortunately, lacks "normal" control mechanisms when in public places, then you refrain from visiting the same with said child. Problem solved.  If you want to reply with something to the effect that taking this child out in public places is unavoidable, at times, I'd say you need to rethink your situation and consider having a sitter/child minder when you must venture out in public. No, I am not heartless. I simply am considering the rights of the many, to not be disturbed by a caterwauling individual, over the right of that individual to scream his/her head off, in public. (No such right exists, in any country that I know of.)





I was a single [divorced] mother to my autistic son for 38 years [he recently died suddenly and unexpectedly during a seizure.]

 Except when he was at school or at day care while I worked,  I can count on one hand the number of times my autistic son had a babysitter. In spite of his autism and seizures,  where I went, he went... and that included eating out in restaurants, shopping, road trips, vacations, etc.  Yes, he sometimes acted out in public... but I never had anyone complain or even suggest that he was not welcome anywhere I went [except one time and you might be surprised where that happened.]  Ironically,  when we were out in public, people who were strangers to me would walk up and say hi to my son [usually someone from his school or his special needs day care.] 

 I was not  ashamed of my son and not ashamed or afraid to take him anywhere I went.  In many ways,  he was more intelligent and better behaved than many "normal" adults I have known.  He taught me many important lessons about myself and about others.  He brought out the good in most people and I am a better person because of him.


Photo

http://www.williamsfuneral.com/site...118051/large_476990_20130721140653_00006A.jpg

.


----------



## hollydolly (Jun 2, 2018)

Traveler said:


> Robusta, be glad, very glad, that I was not present when that happened. My instinct would have been to lay you out. I would have then pressed charges for child abuse. Maybe I'd also have been arrested, but it would have been worth it.



It wasn't true, you can calm down, he didn't do it....


----------



## hearlady (Jun 2, 2018)

StarSong said:


> Aren't you a sweetheart?  ♥  I love your idea and am going to keep some stickers in my purse from now on.  Thank you for this!


Thanks, I do quietly ask the parent if their child can have a sticker and if yes, I place it without a word. It's something so unexpected it throws them off....at least for a little while. Sometimes if the sticker is a smiling cartoon character I tell them not cry or you'll make Mickey mouse (or whoever) cry. That seems to work too.
I shop in an Air Force commissary. I see lots of spouses of deployed servicemen who are stressed, without family around and are dealing alone with small children.
I have been there myself and some understanding goes a long way.


----------



## Bee (Jun 2, 2018)

KingsX said:


> I was a single [divorced] mother to my autistic son for 38 years [he recently died suddenly and unexpectedly during a seizure.]
> 
> Except when he was at day care while I worked or at school,  I can count on one hand the number of times my autistic son had a babysitter. In spite of his autism and seizures,  where I went, he went... and that included eating out in restaurants, shopping, road trips, vacations, etc.  Yes, he sometimes acted out in public... but I never had anyone complain or even suggest that he was not welcome anywhere I went [except one time and you might be surprised where that happened.]  Ironically,  when we were out in public, people who were strangers to me would walk up and say hi to my son [usually someone from his school or his special needs day care.]
> 
> ...




Excellent post KingsX, thankyou for sharing.

So sorry to hear about the loss of your son.


----------



## hearlady (Jun 2, 2018)

He was beautiful KingsX.


----------



## Mike (Jun 2, 2018)

Great story KingsX, you are an example to all
impatient people and your son looks very nice,
I am sorry that he has gone, you must really
miss him.

Mike.


----------



## Gary O' (Jun 2, 2018)

KingsX said:


> I was a single [divorced] mother to my autistic son for 38 years [he recently died suddenly and unexpectedly during a seizure.]
> 
> Except when he was at day care while I worked or at school,  I can count on one hand the number of times my autistic son had a babysitter. In spite of his autism and seizures,  where I went, he went... and that included eating out in restaurants, shopping, road trips, vacations, etc.  Yes, he sometimes acted out in public... but I never had anyone complain or even suggest that he was not welcome anywhere I went [except one time and you might be surprised where that happened.]  Ironically,  when we were out in public, people who were strangers to me would walk up and say hi to my son [usually someone from his school or his special needs day care.]
> 
> ...



This post has a way of glistening against the dross that seeped into this worthy thread

Wonderful words
Refreshing
Centering


----------



## Keesha (Jun 2, 2018)

KingsX said:


> I was a single [divorced] mother to my autistic son for 38 years [he recently died suddenly and unexpectedly during a seizure.]
> 
> Except when he was at day care while I worked or at school,  I can count on one hand the number of times my autistic son had a babysitter. In spite of his autism and seizures,  where I went, he went... and that included eating out in restaurants, shopping, road trips, vacations, etc.  Yes, he sometimes acted out in public... but I never had anyone complain or even suggest that he was not welcome anywhere I went [except one time and you might be surprised where that happened.]  Ironically,  when we were out in public, people who were strangers to me would walk up and say hi to my son [usually someone from his school or his special needs day care.]
> 
> ...


This is so beautiful. Thank you for sharing your story with us.
I’m so sorry for your loss.



hearlady said:


> Thanks, I do quietly ask the parent if their child can have a sticker and if yes, I place it without a word. It's something so unexpected it throws them off....at least for a little while. Sometimes if the sticker is a smiling cartoon character I tell them not cry or you'll make Mickey mouse (or whoever) cry. That seems to work too.
> I shop in an Air Force commissary. I see lots of spouses of deployed servicemen who are stressed, without family around and are dealing alone with small children.
> I have been there myself and some understanding goes a long way.


What a great idea hearlady. I bet you’re great with kids.


This thread was meant to be light hearted and to poke fun of my impatient, intolerant man who whines whenever there are kids around. I wondered if anyone else had a grouchy husband while out shopping. 

Most crying kids don’t bother me at all. This particular day, I felt so bad for the toddler. He was probably only about 18 months old and was clearly in need of attention but the mother would have ‘none of it.’

It may have been judgmental on my part, but it ‘appeared’ to be on the neglectful side. 

It cetainly wasn’t meant to be a put down of parents who have to deal with this.


----------



## Shalimar (Jun 2, 2018)

KingsX said:


> I was a single [divorced] mother to my autistic son for 38 years [he recently died suddenly and unexpectedly during a seizure.]
> 
> Except when he was at day care while I worked or at school,  I can count on one hand the number of times my autistic son had a babysitter. In spite of his autism and seizures,  where I went, he went... and that included eating out in restaurants, shopping, road trips, vacations, etc.  Yes, he sometimes acted out in public... but I never had anyone complain or even suggest that he was not welcome anywhere I went [except one time and you might be surprised where that happened.]  Ironically,  when we were out in public, people who were strangers to me would walk up and say hi to my son [usually someone from his school or his special needs day care.]
> 
> ...


Oh, you touch my heart. This is the strength and beauty of a mother’s love personified. My condolences on the loss of your  beautiful son.


----------



## StarSong (Jun 2, 2018)

KingsX said:


> I was a single [divorced] mother to my autistic son for 38 years [he recently died suddenly and unexpectedly during a seizure.]
> 
> Except when he was at day care while I worked or at school,  I can count on one hand the number of times my autistic son had a babysitter. In spite of his autism and seizures,  where I went, he went... and that included eating out in restaurants, shopping, road trips, vacations, etc.  Yes, he sometimes acted out in public... but I never had anyone complain or even suggest that he was not welcome anywhere I went [except one time and you might be surprised where that happened.]  Ironically,  when we were out in public, people who were strangers to me would walk up and say hi to my son [usually someone from his school or his special needs day care.]
> 
> ...



My condolences on the loss of your beloved son.  How very fortunate you and he were to have one another.  

Thank you for sharing this part of your life with us.


----------



## Traveler (Jun 2, 2018)

Robusta said:


> Oh, I hate it too. When my oldest was about three, she had problem ears so she was whiney a lot.  I remember we were in Wal Greens one time and the little snot was holding her ear crying, no more like screaming. People were starting to look so I slapped that brat right across the kisser. Ya shoulda seen the look on her face! bUT HOT DAMN It sure shut  her the hell up and also taught her to behave in public!





mitchezz said:


> I'm fairly certain Robusta was just being sarcastic. Kids whine and throw tanties for lots of different reasons. You can try soothing, distracting but sometimes nothing works. Many experts advise ignoring as a tactic.





Keesha said:


> And I’m fairly certain he wasn’t. I’ve read plenty of his posts.
> He gave details about his reasoning for losing  it on his screaming ‘injured’ child and even expressed his delight in seeing her hurt expression.





Traveler said:


> Robusta, be glad, very glad, that I was not present when that happened. My instinct would have been to lay you out. I would have then pressed charges for child abuse. Maybe I'd also have been arrested, but it would have been worth it.





Keesha said:


> Thank you my friend :heart:





hollydolly said:


> It wasn't true, you can calm down, he didn't do it....




I remain unconvinced. I think it *DID *happen. I have had, unfortunately, 1st hand experience with child abusers and I think we saw an unguarded moment of an abuser who, deep within his heart, is proud of what he did.


----------



## AZ Jim (Jun 2, 2018)

Who am I too root out the truth?  All I have is Robusta's post, and 82 year old brain, and instinct.  I believe he did as he bragged about which, if I am right, makes him a coward.


----------



## Falcon (Jun 2, 2018)

Happyflowerlady said:


> Falcon, I thought that you were well enough educated to make your point without name calling. The mark of a true gentleman is found in his vocabulary, and I would have thought that this kind of speech would be unnecessary to express your feelings here.



I RESENT   Your  "advice".   My  career  was  in  teaching  (Both children  AND adults)

I've ALWYS  been a gentleman  to those  who  are worthy  of  it.  Now that you know  what my posts are like,  DON'T   OPEN  THEM.


----------



## Shalimar (Jun 2, 2018)

AZ Jim said:


> Who am I too root out the truth?  All I have is Robusta's post, and 82 year old brain, and instinct.  I believe he did as he bragged about which, if I am right, makes him a coward.


I think you are spot on, sadly, he fits the profile all too well.


----------



## hollydolly (Jun 2, 2018)

As a child of abusive parents I am not ready to jump on people too quickly and think the worst of them because I don't believe you can psycho analyse people from a few words posted on a forum , I just always don't want to believe the worst in people without proof...   and I have to say despite all your misgivings, I still want to believe robusta meant it as a twisted joke...and it's not true that he did this . I have no special friendship with robusta and no need to defend him other than I believe him...it's just my instinct..

I feel that if he had been guilty of  it and then saw  the hue and cry then went up on here , he could have simply deleted or altered  that original post, and not make a thread strongly protesting his innocence.

I don't think I'm Naive when it comes to Child abuse, I suffered and watched my siblings and others suffer too while growing up... I just feel that in this case Robusta is guilty of sick humour but not of the abuse of his own child..


I Sincerely hope  that I'm not wrong!!


----------



## Keesha (Jun 2, 2018)

I also don’t like thinking the worst of people but some people have a way of standing out and Robusta did just that with me but not in a positive way. Before his strange response to this thread he made a  cowboy thread , poking fun of ClassicRockr. 

To me, I thought it was cruel and unfair but then thought that perhaps he wrote it in a fun loving way so I inquired about it in that thread. His response was so bad that the entire thread had to be taken down by the mods. It was extremely hateful. 

If he was just joking about the abuse he did to his own 3 year old daughter, then WHY in the world would he make all kinds of excuses to justify his behaviour? 

1/. She was sick 
2/. He had worked 10 plus hours that day 
3/. He was hungry and hadn’t eaten yet 

Yadda yadda yadda 

If it wasn’t true then why not state it right away?
If it wasn’t true then why make a list of justifications ?

I don’t like thinking the worst of people either but I have incredibly good instincts and red flags were going off for me. Big time.


----------



## Shalimar (Jun 2, 2018)

Keesha said:


> I also don’t like thinking the worst of people but some people have a way of standing out and Robusta did just that with me but not in a positive way. Before his strange response to this thread he made a  cowboy thread , poking fun of ClassicRockr.
> 
> To me, I thought it was cruel and unfair but then thought that perhaps he wrote it in a fun loving way so I inquired about it in that thread. His response was so bad that the entire thread had to be taken down by the mods. It was extremely hateful.
> 
> ...


----------



## Keesha (Jun 2, 2018)

Yes. He even made another thread to complain about me but it got pulled also


----------



## Bee (Jun 2, 2018)

I still believe that Robusta was joking albeit a sick joke but a joke none the less.

In the thread that he started ( in which he explained why he posted what he did ) he also stated he had received some vile pm's, I wonder if the people that sent them was banned also when he was banned.

It is so easy to gossip about someone that is no longer a member here to defend themselves....in my opinion that comes under bad forum etiquette.


----------



## Keesha (Jun 2, 2018)

Well Bee, YOU are talking about him also. Is that not considered gossip ?

I am not sure who sent him a vile pm and if they got banned also. That’s none of my business.
It sure wasn’t me that sent him any pm’s but he did send me one that I didn’t respond to.

Also I’m actually responding to a question he asked me in open forum. He asked what posts was I talking about when I made my judgment about him. I’m now answering his question. I could have answered him in the thread he made about me but chose not to.


----------



## Shalimar (Jun 2, 2018)

Bee said:


> I still believe that Robusta was joking albeit a sick joke but a joke none the less.
> 
> In the thread that he started ( in which he explained why he posted what he did ) he also stated he had received some vile pm's, I wonder if the people that sent them was banned also when he was banned.
> 
> It is so easy to gossip about someone that is no longer a member here to defend themselves....in my opinion that comes under bad forum etiquette.


I am sorry you view this as gossip. From my perspective, any potential child abuser is an important subject of conversation. He certainly had ample opportunity to defend himself while he was here, but chose instead to be abusive to sf posters. I have no knowledge of any possible negative pm which he may have received.


----------



## Bee (Jun 2, 2018)

NO I am not gossiping about Robusta in the way that you are..I suggest you go back and read reply no. 36......not that it will make any difference to you because you have already made your mind up.

Time for me to take another break from this forum.


----------



## Shalimar (Jun 2, 2018)

Bee said:


> NO I am not gossiping about Robusta in the way that you are..I suggest you go back and read reply no. 36......not that it will make any difference to you because you have already made your mind up.
> 
> Time for me to take another break from this forum.


Bee, is this addressed to me or Keesha?


----------



## Bee (Jun 2, 2018)

Keesha...........that is my final word on this as I said time for me to take another break from this forum.


----------



## Keesha (Jun 2, 2018)

Robusta said:


> *Keesha, you can kiss my lily white ass. You "know" me from a few posts on a forum board?
> 
> Anyone who thinks that myself or anyone would come out in public bragging about child abuse does not rank especially high in the intelligence department.  I have three children five grandchildren and 3 great grandchildren.  Never have I used any method of corporal punishment on them.  I find sitting them is a chair and  long boring lecture will suffice.
> 
> ...



YES Bee. I DID read this. This is where he states that not one of us considered that the kid may be sick or that the parent needed food in the house and had worked a ten hour day, had gotten the older kids off on the bus already or any of the million other travails that parent might be experiencing!!!

So this post would have been a PERFECT opportunity to say he was merely being sarcastic but NO, he chose to make a list of all his justifications for doing what he did. 

WHY would he write a LIST of these reasons if IT WASN’T TRUE?

OR maybe all these justifications were fabricated also.


----------



## Gary O' (Jun 2, 2018)

Keesha said:


> YES Bee. I DID read this. This is where he states that not one of us considered that the kid may be sick or that the parent needed food in the house and had worked a ten hour day, had gotten the older kids off on the bus already or any of the million other travails that parent might be experiencing!!!
> 
> So this post would have been a PERFECT opportunity to say he was merely being sarcastic but NO, he chose to make a list of all his justifications for doing what he did.
> 
> ...



I think Bee gone


----------



## Keesha (Jun 2, 2018)

Gary O' said:


> I think Bee gone



Thats ok. I still wanted to answer her question because it was important to me. 
Theres no way anyone’s going to try and make me feel guilty about what I did.


----------



## Gary O' (Jun 2, 2018)

Keesha said:


> Thats ok. I still wanted to answer her question because it was important to me.
> Theres no way anyone’s going to try and make me feel guilty about what I did.


You got this, kid


----------



## Toomuchstuff (Jun 3, 2018)

agree.


----------



## Aunt Marg (Oct 14, 2020)

Keesha said:


> How do you feel while you are out shopping and someone has a child in a shopping cart that won’t stop ‘screaming’ ( crying very loudly) and the mother just keeps pushing the cart like nothing is wrong, ignoring the child altogether?


I laid it out clearly for each of my kids when they reached the age/stage to understand. I told them, if you want to go out with mommy and do things with her, you will behave, if you want to be naughty and not listen and whine and cry when you can't have something or your own way, you'll find yourself at home with a babysitter.


----------



## asp3 (Oct 14, 2020)

I generally don't like it and get rather annoyed, but I don't know what's happening in that person's life so my brief encounter with them might be completely out of context.  I avoid them as much as possible and move on.

However it's much worse when the child is screaming and the parent, parents or other guardians are yelling back at the child and or emotionally abusing them or worse yet hurting the child.  I'd much rather have the guardian ignoring the child than doing any of the above.


----------



## win231 (Oct 14, 2020)

Keesha said:


> So your child was in pain from having problem ears , cried in public and your solution was to belt her across the face?
> And you’re proud of yourself?
> 
> I feel like slapping you myself right now but I’m too much of a lady to do so.


I doubt it's anything but a tall tale.


----------



## Keesha (Oct 14, 2020)

win231 said:


> I doubt it's anything but a tall tale.


I don’t.  Follow everything he says in this thread. Anyway , it was 2 1/2 years ago.


----------



## PamfromTx (Oct 14, 2020)

Actually, I feel for the child because he's either hungry or exhausted from being dragged from store to store.   At least that's the case here where I reside.  

I will never forget one incident where it was quite visible that the mother was abusing the child right in front of me.  I didn't know what to do as my heart broke to see the child in pain.  I went up to the manager to report it and left the store.  I hate to see children being abused.


----------



## Rosemarie (Oct 14, 2020)

CindyLouWho said:


> This just happened to me last Friday at the dentist. My ears have not recovered from  this boy screaming on & on & on. Instead of the mother taking him out, this girl who worked at the front desk comes out in the waiting room with a bag full of toys and let's him pick one out to keep.
> I don't agree, he has to be taught to not act out without always getting a reward if he doesn't act out.
> He was probably 7 or 8 yrs old. He stopped screaming when he got the toy, then attempted to keep screaming. He was just turning it on and off.


You expect screaming tantrums from a two year old, but not from one this age. What sort of adult will he become?


----------



## Lewkat (Oct 15, 2020)

hearlady said:


> Thanks, I do quietly ask the parent if their child can have a sticker and if yes, I place it without a word. It's something so unexpected it throws them off....at least for a little while. Sometimes if the sticker is a smiling cartoon character I tell them not cry or you'll make Mickey mouse (or whoever) cry. That seems to work too.
> I shop in an Air Force commissary. I see lots of spouses of deployed servicemen who are stressed, without family around and are dealing alone with small children.
> I have been there myself and some understanding goes a long way.


What is a sticker?


----------



## wcwbf (Oct 15, 2020)

i'm wondering if the crying kid was just using this behavior to get something he had already been told NO to?  if crying gets loud... parent should have left store.


----------



## hollydolly (Oct 15, 2020)

Lewkat said:


> What is a sticker?


a paper label of some sort.. a star, or some type of thing


----------



## Lewkat (Oct 15, 2020)

hollydolly said:


> a paper label of some sort.. a star, or some type of thing


Clear as mud, Holly, thank you.


----------



## Meanderer (Oct 15, 2020)




----------



## Keesha (Oct 15, 2020)

Lewkat said:


> What is a sticker?





Meanderer said:


>


These! .... a good distraction for kids.


----------



## Pappy (Oct 15, 2020)




----------



## Lewkat (Oct 15, 2020)

Well, of course that's what I thought a sticker was, but when someone asks a mom if her child could have a sticker, I began to wonder.  First of all how do you give the child the sticker?  One lady here puts it on the cart to distract the child which makes sense, but one would hardly seem sufficient to keep the youngster occupied for long.  At any rate, it it works then by all means use this method.  Certainly seems harmless enough.


----------



## charry (Oct 15, 2020)

it was called discipline in my day, if we misbehaved ..........a slap across the back of the legs
But now it’s called child abuse......
No wonder kids are the way they are today !,!


----------



## Keesha (Oct 15, 2020)

charry said:


> it was called discipline in my day, if we misbehaved ..........a slap across the back of the legs
> But now it’s called child abuse......
> No wonder kids are the way they are today !,!


Yes. It is a shame. Unfortunately though, there are those who take disciplining their children, to a whole other level which IS considered child abuse.


----------



## Aunt Marg (Oct 15, 2020)

charry said:


> it was called discipline in my day, if we misbehaved ..........a slap across the back of the legs
> But now it’s called child abuse......
> No wonder kids are the way they are today !,!


Me and my siblings the same, Charry.


----------



## charry (Oct 15, 2020)

Aunt Marg said:


> Me and my siblings the same, Charry.




5 siblings here marg, and we knew when we crossed the line, so was ready for the slap ouch !!


----------



## Aunt Marg (Oct 15, 2020)

charry said:


> 5 siblings here marg, and we knew when we crossed the line, so was ready for the slap ouch !!


Five of us as well. 

I was much easier on my own children than my mom was on me, but when a proper pants-dusting was due, I delivered. LOL!


----------



## charry (Oct 15, 2020)

Aunt Marg said:


> Five of us as well.
> 
> I was much easier on my own children than my mom was on me, but when a proper pants-dusting was due, I delivered. LOL!




ditto


----------



## Pinky (Oct 15, 2020)

I once saw a couple abusing their children in the supermarket. From what I could see, the children were not misbehaving, but the parents were shouting, swatting the children's heads, and the father was saying he was going to smash his son against a freezer. The children were not being noisy .. but the parents were out of control.


----------



## Aunt Marg (Oct 15, 2020)

Pinky said:


> I once saw a couple abusing their children in the supermarket. From what I could see, the children were not misbehaving, but the parents were shouting, swatting the children's heads, and the father was saying he was going to smash his son against a freezer. The children were not being noisy .. but the parents were out of control.


My husband and I were out shopping one day many years ago, and a father had his toddler son by the hand, and I'm assuming he was squeezing the child's hand to the point of pain, because the child was screaming, and my husband stopped, focused his attention on the man, and when the man made eye contact with my husband, my husband gave him a death stare from hell, and the man's behaviour stopped.


----------



## fuzzybuddy (Oct 15, 2020)

A kid knows when he's creating a scene.  The first words a kid learns are "I want". He's hoping his mom is going to cave, because of the  tantrum, and the stares she's getting..  The best way to dissuade scenes is not to get irritated, but to ignore them. My kid brother was an expert on screaming in stores. He'd put on a great show. BTW, he never did this at home. My mom would leave him screaming, and thrashing about on the floor. After a while, it occurred to him that making a scene was counter productive, he stopped.


----------



## Camper6 (Oct 15, 2020)

I used to think that only girls could scream but I changed my mind the other night when I was invited out to dinner.

The little boy wasn't in pain or anything or being abused but he just screamed all night even when playing with his toys.  

It went right through me.  I couldn't wait to get home.

I wish I had a decibel meter.  I'm sure it was on the same scale as a steam whistle.


----------



## Della (Oct 15, 2020)

About ten years ago I started to notice that kids were not only screaming more, but screaming much _louder_ than they used to do.  My own baby boy had colic a lot for the first year, so I'm used to fussy babies, but he never even began to reach the decibel level some kids hit today. 

 My homemade theory?  Their moms are all lost in their phones and the kids  have to reach twice the pitch we did to get their attention.


----------



## Pepper (Oct 15, 2020)

@Camper6 
I especially laughed at the *he just screamed all night even when playing with his toys *part!


----------



## Camper6 (Oct 15, 2020)

No.  The moms have learned to ignore so they can survive.


----------



## Aunt Marg (Oct 15, 2020)

fuzzybuddy said:


> A kid knows when he's creating a scene.  The first words a kid learns are "I want". He's hoping his mom is going to cave, because of the  tantrum, and the stares she's getting..  The best way to dissuade scenes is not to get irritated, but to ignore them. My kid brother was an expert on screaming in stores. He'd put on a great show. BTW, he never did this at home. My mom would leave him screaming, and thrashing about on the floor. After a while, it occurred to him that making a scene was counter productive, he stopped.


Your post brings back such memories. 

At home, I was much more tolerant of my children acting up and throwing a tantie, but dare they do it while out, that was a whole other story.

I laugh thinking about it now, how I used to round-up the gang, and with them all in a group, I'd tell them, "mommy has to make a trip to town today, who's all going to be good when we're out"?

I'd remind them, "I don't want to hear any whining and complaining, if you're coming with me today, you're going to be good and behave, or we're coming straight back home".

I used to do simple little things for them to remind them how good trips out of the house could be with mom, and for the most part my kids understood and were receptive.

On sweltering hot days or when sub-zero temps hit, calling up a babysitter was automatic for me. No kid needs to be subjected to trying to keep up with an adult when they're zapped of all energy due to the heat, thirsty, or trying to waddle around in bulky winter-wear.


----------



## Pepper (Oct 15, 2020)

You know @Della, you're on to something.  I always wonder when I see someone paying more attention to their phone than their kids.  Nothing interested me more than the kid.  And.............it shows today in our relationship.


----------



## Camper6 (Oct 15, 2020)

You have to be careful about what you say to small children.

I told my young son "I'm going to break you from that habit".

He went to his mom and couldn't stop crying.

He told her that daddy was going to break him in half.


----------



## Aunt Marg (Oct 15, 2020)

Della said:


> About ten years ago I started to notice that kids were not only screaming more, but screaming much _louder_ than they used to do.  My own baby boy had colic a lot for the first year, so I'm used to fussy babies, but he never even began to reach the decibel level some kids hit today.
> 
> *My homemade theory?  Their moms are all lost in their phones and the kids  have to reach twice the pitch we did to get their attention*.


It's sad, and I 100% agree.


----------



## Meanderer (Oct 15, 2020)

All parents and adults in general should show children good examples of self control.


----------



## wcwbf (Oct 15, 2020)

there are or have been numerous TV shows that air funny clips of people/pets of all sizes an shapes.  i find it pretty obnoxious when a kid (especially a toddler) displays obnoxious behavior and is labeled "cute".  like 2-3 year old girls acting way too maturely/sexy or little boys acting like total thugs.


----------



## Judycat (Oct 15, 2020)

My oldest son was a screamer. I used to bring a gag and tie it tight around his mouth and head when he started up. People became livid that I'd do that to a child. They'd threaten to call a cop. As he got older, he'd just pull off the gag and continue screaming. So I began putting Super Glue on his lips. That was more effective and lasted all day. Pretty soon, when he started winding up, all I'd have to do is get the tube of Super Glue out and the screaming would stop.


----------



## charry (Oct 15, 2020)

Meanderer said:


> All parents and adults in general should show children good examples of self control.





So right meandered


----------

