# Anyone have family member who won't "PRESS THE BUTTON?"



## Wild1 (Jun 12, 2019)

As alluded to in my post about "eviction" my Grandma has been falling a lot. When I discussed with the staff and they said when she has fallen she has NOT pressed the button (pendant) They said she NEVER presses the button. I have also observed her do this; when my Grabdpa has been there. She asks HIM to press the button for her!!!! (Bad!). 

She is falling almost exclusively in her room and it appears to be transitions to and from bed; and in the bathroom. 

Anyone else have a relative who won't use the pendant? My grandma just won't adopt this. Always been resistant to change but claims it does not work (probably bc not instant and no feedback right away that they did get the message). But anyway..:. I digress. 

Is there a solution to this? Anyone figured it out?


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## jujube (Jun 13, 2019)

We talked my mother into accepting an alert device some years ago.  She didn't want a pendant, so she chose one that looked like a wristwatch.  HOWEVER, she didn't like to wear it on her wrist.  No, she wore it on her ankle.

I pointed out that if she was down on the floor with a broken hip, there was a large probability that she couldn't get her leg up far enough to reach the ankle bracelet.  That made no difference to her.  She insisted she could reach it.

Finally, she quit wearing it altogether and we stopped the service.  

There is no convincing stubborn old ladies when they have their mind made up.


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## Marie5656 (Jun 13, 2019)

There is an alarm system made by Posey that is like a mat that goes onto a bed or chair. It activates when weight is removed from it, as when she stands up. Of course if the issue fear of them not responding then this may not work.


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## Wren (Jun 13, 2019)

When I was helping to manage a sheltered housing complex, I found some of the residents did not like to press the alarm button or the pedants/bracelet alarms, they think they are being a nuisance,  one old lady had been sitting on the floor all night as she ‘didn’t want to trouble anybody’...


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## Wild1 (Jun 13, 2019)

The goofy thing is she always wears the pendant but won't push the button to call the help. 

She has fallen several times now and every time she has failed to press button and her neighbor has heard her screaming and crying and pushed HER button to get help for my GM.

GM is also supposed to use Pendant Button for non-emergency reasons (like for someone to help her get up, before meals). When my grandpa is there, she tells him "you push it", and I think he caves in and does it for her. 

I don't get it ....  
The funny thing is, when she is with us, normally she won't get up on her own and acts like she can't do it. Obviously she needs the help as I think the falls are happening when she tries to transition from sitting to standing herself. But clearly she is trying to get up without asking for help when we aren't there. 

I don't get why she will not ask for help, that she so obviously (and knowingly) needs?

This will sound bad, but it's almost like she is trying to get hurt? She LOVES going to the Dr./Hospital....(and is always very good for them and in a good mood when she is there) Is this even a thing?


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## Wild1 (Jun 13, 2019)

Marie5656 said:


> There is an alarm system made by Posey that is like a mat that goes onto a bed or chair. It activates when weight is removed from it, as when she stands up. Of course if the issue fear of them not responding then this may not work.



This is a great idea, thanks Marie! I will certainly look into this, and it is a good question to ask about as she looks for a new place to live. Thanks!


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## Marie5656 (Jun 13, 2019)

Wild1 said:


> This is a great idea, thanks Marie! I will certainly look into this, and it is a good question to ask about as she looks for a new place to live. Thanks!



A year ago, when my husband was recovering from surgery, they put one on his chair in the hospital room.  He did _*not*_ have dementia, but he WAS a fall risk, and he would stubbornly not ask for help when getting up, and did almost fall a couple times.


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## Victor (Jun 15, 2019)

My friend's very aged mother fell in her home, would not press the button, stayed on the floor there for 2 days,
was found and then died. No one knows why she did not press the button.
She did not like strangers.


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## AZ Jim (Jun 15, 2019)

Wild1 said:


> This is a great idea, thanks Marie! I will certainly look into this, and it is a good question to ask about as she looks for a new place to live. Thanks!



 All hospital beds  are so equipped now.


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## Giantsfan1954 (Jun 17, 2019)

AZ Jim said:


> All hospital beds  are so equipped now.



She should have a bed alarm and the side rails should be up with the bed in it's lowest position.
Trust me,the staff doesn't like finding their people on the floor.


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## Wild1 (Jun 17, 2019)

Giantsfan1954 said:


> She should have a bed alarm and the side rails should be up with the bed in it's lowest position.
> Trust me,the staff doesn't like finding their people on the floor.



Wow, I wish we would have known. We would have done this after fall#2 or 3......
i did some looking into this, and my sister who is going into the med field and was a CNA few years ago said that some people cannot use alarms (something about them being considered "restraints"). 

I looked it up and apparently there was a relatively recent change in legal interpretation as to what is considered a "restraint" and under what circumstances that is actually legal. What I read was ridiculously restrictive (sorry if that's ironic) on what is allowed as to a restraint. One example point blank stayed that "a person considered a fall risk is not sufficient to justify the use of a position change alarm...." Same thing for bed rails I guess. But I mean honestly..... How many times does she have to fall? Not like she can't still leave her chair? (I think the real issue here, might be that many alarm systems feature detailed tracking data on call and response times that could implicate an understaffed or negligent facility legally). Some of the sources say the legality of alarms depends on whether of not they audible to the resident (and can't say I don't agree there, especially with today's tech).

Unfortunately she since has had strike #7 and has been given THE BOOT. 
She has recently begun new medications (a small dose of a neuroleptic and an AChEI type med, and is doing quite a bit better....mentally, and behaviorally..... But it's too late sadly. 

We are working on finding her another home now. 
She has also now come to realization that she was "too bad" and now is "Embarrassed to Tears" (her words).

it just sucks, because things had to go THIS bad, for her to finally get some help, and now that she has some help, well maybe she wouldn't need "More Help" if the damage had not already been done. Feeling bad for her right now. But also realizing she needs more help and probably needed it earlier. 

Anyway,,. Just want to say... I think You all are so kind and thoughtful, and I bank you for listening/reading all I've had to say, and sharing your experiences and wisdom with me; It's been a lot!


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## Keesha (Sep 6, 2019)

How is your grandma doing?
Did you find a method to successfully prevent her falls?

After my mother’s stroke they had to install her with bed alarms. As soon as she gets off the bed an alarm goes off alerting the nurse station and someone comes in to help her. They actually work really well for  that very purpose.


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## Patio Life (Sep 6, 2019)

Wild1 said:


> The goofy thing is she always wears the pendant but won't push the button to call the help.
> 
> She has fallen several times now and every time she has failed to press button and her neighbor has heard her screaming and crying and pushed HER button to get help for my GM.
> 
> ...


My neighbor who has cancer is always happy on Dr. visit days. She does her best to "pass" all the tests to please the Dr. 

I don't like going to the Dr. I occasionally argue with my Dr. And very rarely get mad at him and tell him he is not getting his way.


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## Lc jones (Sep 7, 2019)

That would probably be me, I don’t want to be a trouble and when I get to that point I’d just rather not be around. That’s just me.


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## Giantsfan1954 (Sep 8, 2019)

Wild1 said:


> As alluded to in my post about "eviction" my Grandma has been falling a lot. When I discussed with the staff and they said when she has fallen she has NOT pressed the button (pendant) They said she NEVER presses the button. I have also observed her do this; when my Grabdpa has been there. She asks HIM to press the button for her!!!! (Bad!).
> 
> She is falling almost exclusively in her room and it appears to be transitions to and from bed; and in the bathroom.
> 
> ...


A bed alarm. Doesn't mean by any stretch that the staff will be on it immediately, just doesn't happen. 
Bed rails should be raised, bed lowered to its lowest position, this way even a fall is only a few inches, mats on the floor at beside.. 
Retired CNA


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