# Number of old people forced into care homes soars



## Gael (Mar 13, 2014)

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-484178/Number-old-people-forced-care-homes-soars.html


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## Justme (Mar 13, 2014)

I would prefer to go into a good quality care home when I can no longer look after myself than stay in my own home.


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## Warrigal (Mar 13, 2014)

I intend to but if I can get by with some home help I would rather stay at home for as long as my marbles are not too scrambled.
In this country there is quite a lot of support for at home care and that is a cheaper option for the government than full residential care. People are generally only going into an aged care homes when they can no longer get by at home, and consequently are staying there for shorter periods.


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## Jackie22 (Mar 13, 2014)

My mother is 93...she has stated many times that she wants to stay at home as long as she can and I intend to do everything I can to help her on this, just hope my children do the same for me.


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## Geezerette (Mar 13, 2014)

I've heard so many horror stories about people who either have gotten to the point where they need help at home or can't stay at home. I've been living in an ''over 55'' apt complex for about 2 1/2 yrs hope to move at end of lease, too depressing here. 

I just heard yest that one of my neighbors' dementia had progressed to the point that her brothers put her in an Alz. unit last week. Also last week was talking to an 85 yr old widowed female acquaintance who is somewhat physically impaired, but very sharp mentally. She has no local relatives. She has had ''caregivers'' in her home for about a year with a lot of the cost covered by long tern care insurance that she was prudent enough to buy years ago.  She found one of them rifling through her drawers and her belongings were also found in the worker's  car. Some of them barely speak English; some do the minimum they think they can get by with.

Another sad tale heard last week. 58 yr old daughter brought her 90+ dad from out of state because he could no longer live alone due to Alz. and placed him in one of the best Alz care facilities locally. However, he got disoriented, wandered into a female resident's room trying to find the bathroom, she got upset, her family threatened to sue, he got thrown out, she had to quit an excellent job to stay home and take care of him, at least until she looks at more options. She doesn't know what she is going to do for health insurance for herself. Physically, she says her dad is fine. 

The prospects these days are terrifying. As I mentioned on another topic, I still feel guilty about having had to place my father because there just didn't seem to be any alternative.


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## Davey Jones (Mar 13, 2014)

Geezerette said:


> end of lease, *too depressing here*. .




Thats generally what most say nowadays,if you want the best ya gotta fork over a lotta dough.
Ive left full instruction for my kids what to do If Im no longer unable to take of myself.Told them if they put me in one of those homes,Ill come back after I die and haunt them the rest of their lives.
Hope Ill pass away right here on the keyboard.


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## Gael (Mar 13, 2014)

Justme said:


> I would prefer to go into a good quality care home when I can no longer look after myself than stay in my own home.



The point is that you want to do it by choice.


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## Gael (Mar 13, 2014)

Warrigal said:


> I intend to but if I can get by with some home help I would rather stay at home for as long as my marbles are not too scrambled.
> In this country there is quite a lot of support for at home care and that is a cheaper option for the government than full residential care. People are generally only going into an aged care homes when they can no longer get by at home, and consequently are staying there for shorter periods.



I think that's the desire of most and even assisted living arrangements are usually preferable. I've seen the good the bad and the ugly with nursing homes and it's daunting to think of people not having a choice about it all.


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## Gael (Mar 13, 2014)

Geezerette said:


> I've heard so many horror stories about people who either have gotten to the point where they need help at home or can't stay at home. I've been living in an ''over 55'' apt complex for about 2 1/2 yrs hope to move at end of lease, too depressing here. I just heard yest that one of my neighbors' dementia had progressed to the point that her brothers put her in an Alz. unit last week. Also last week was talking to an 85 yr old widowed female acquaintance who is somewhat physically impaired, but very sharp mentally. She has no local relatives. She has had ''caregivers'' in her home for about a year with a lot of the cost covered by long tern care insurance that she was prudent enough to buy years ago.  She found one of them rifling through her drawers and her belongings were also found in the worker's  car. Some of them barely speak English; some do the minimum they think they can get by with.
> Another sad tale heard last week. 58 yr old daughter brought her 90+ dad from out of state because he could no longer live alone due to Alz. and placed him in one of the best Alz care facilities locally. However, he got disoriented, wandered into a female resident's room trying to find the bathroom, she got upset, her family threatened to sue, he got thrown out, she had to quit an excellent job to stay home and take care of him, at least until she looks at more options. She doesn't know what she is going to do for health insurance for herself. Physically, she says her dad is fine.
> The prospects these days are terrifying. As I mentioned on another topic, I still feel guilty about having had to place my father because there just didn't seem to be any alternative.



These are the reasons that it's such a daunting prospect. Good care homes are like hens teeth to find and expensive to boot.
Near us is what they call a "fold". It's a large organization which also has other types of housing but it's one of the best. They live on their own but a warden is on the premises if there is some sort of crisis that arises. And all the flats have emergency cords they can pull if they get into distress. 

But if they become unable to care for themselves or if the carers who come in are not supplying all their needs and they are too ill, then it's off to the hospital or a care home.

Take care of your health everyone!


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## Gael (Mar 13, 2014)

Jackie22 said:


> My mother is 93...she has stated many times that she wants to stay at home as long as she can and I intend to do everything I can to help her on this, just hope my children do the same for me.



Hope it all works out for you and your mother both.raying: Most feel as you would.


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## Denise1952 (Mar 13, 2014)

Gael said:


> http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-484178/Number-old-people-forced-care-homes-soars.html



I haven't viewed the vid yet Gael, but I know this is happening, and it is heartbreaking.  Back in the day, people took care of their own.  I know some families that are doing it the old way, and I love being around their family.  I understand there can come a time when someone needs hospitalization, or also, situations especially in a "one" parent household where they can't afford to stay home and care for their elderly, and afford the roof over all their heads.  Very heavy subject, but a good one to discuss Gael, imo


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## Justme (Mar 13, 2014)

Gael said:


> The point is that you want to do it by choice.



I would never inflict myself on my kids. I would never have contemplated looking after my parents, particularly my mother, in their old age, it would never have worked.


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## That Guy (Mar 13, 2014)

I like the idea of being set out on the ice . . .    My son said he'll build a cage for me in his backyard.  I try not to think about it ( like just about everything else in this wildly wonderful wacky life).


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## Pappy (Mar 13, 2014)

The Amish have the right idea on aging parents. They just add another room or two on their present house to take care of their parents. 
I hope that this is something I won't have to do. Knowing my kids, I think there will be a time when they know best what to do.


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## Gael (Mar 13, 2014)

Justme said:


> I have an excellent relationship with my children, but caring for an aging parent is an imposition, in my opinion, and best done by people paid to do the job.



Oh, I would not agree with that. There's this thing called love you see and it thrives and lives on caring and supporting that which it loves.

“To care for those who once cared for us is one of the highest honors.”


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## Denise1952 (Mar 13, 2014)

That Guy said:


> I like the idea of being set out on the ice . . .    My son said he'll build a cage for me in his backyard.  I try not to think about it ( like just about everything else in this wildly wonderful wacky life).



There's a loving son for sure! Hey, you always have a place, that's a good feeling If you want the ice thing, best get your reservation, could get crowded. Hmm, maybe it wouldn't be so bad to have "group" plan.


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## Gael (Mar 13, 2014)

nwlady said:


> There's a loving son for sure! Hey, you always have a place, that's a good feeling If you want the ice thing, best get your reservation, could get crowded. Hmm, maybe it wouldn't be so bad to have "group" plan.


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## Denise1952 (Mar 13, 2014)

Gael said:


> Oh, I would not agree with that. There's this thing called love you see and it thrives and lives on caring and supporting that which it loves.
> 
> “To care for those who once cared for us is one of the highest honors.”



I don't see it that way either Gael, but some folks do.  I know my mom NEVER wanted to be a burden on her kids.  This is hard to say, but my mom was hard-core alcoholic, and I do not think my love for her was strong enough.  I know that sounds terrible to say.  But it's only in about the last 20 years that I have even gotten a handle on what true love really is.

I understand that wonderful bond some have, and, I understand that unselfish love people have for others, it's wonderful to see, I want to be more like that every day.  Even now I have a long way to go


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## Denise1952 (Mar 13, 2014)

Gael said:


>



LOL, that's not big enough Gael, even just for me I need one maybe the size of small car.  I mean, I want some stuff with me like candy, burgers, fries, maybe some pot (no that always made me paranoid) I want some snuggly blankies, I guess that sort of defeats the purpose though, Ok, nevermind


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## Gael (Mar 13, 2014)

nwlady said:


> I don't see it that way either Gael, but some folks do.  I know my mom NEVER wanted to be a burden on her kids.  This is hard to say, but my mom was hard-core alcoholic, and I do not think my love for her was strong enough.  I know that sounds terrible to say.  But it's only in about the last 20 years that I have even gotten a handle on what true love really is.
> 
> I understand that wonderful bond some have, and, I understand that unselfish love people have for others, it's wonderful to see, I want to be more like that every day.  Even now I have a long way to go



Oh, I think you're closer then you think, Denise.


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## Justme (Mar 13, 2014)

Gael said:


> Oh, I would not agree with that. There's this thing called love you see and it thrives and lives on caring and supporting that which it loves.
> 
> “To care for those who once cared for us is one of the highest honors.”



Hmmmmmmmmmm! Well each to their own of course, but caring for an aged parent would probably have ended up with me murdering them, particularly my mother.


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## Denise1952 (Mar 13, 2014)

Justme said:


> Hmmmmmmmmmm! Well each to their own of course, but caring for an aged parent would probably have ended up with me murdering them, particularly my mother.



Yeah, I am glad you went the other way JMnthego: another "to thine own self be true" me thinks


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## That Guy (Mar 13, 2014)

nwlady said:


> If you want the ice thing, best get your reservation, could get crowded. Hmm, maybe it wouldn't be so bad to have "group" plan.



As opposed to most thinking, I prefer to die alone.


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## Denise1952 (Mar 13, 2014)

That Guy said:


> As opposed to most thinking, I prefer to die alone.



I'm sure they have a plan that will suit you TG


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## Gael (Mar 13, 2014)

nwlady said:


> True, who knows what the future holds  My sister and brother would be people I would not mind being with me.  I don't know, I'm sort of like the cat that goes and hides, I guess like TG feels.  I do think about others having to see you die but like you said, again, who knows, we might be with strangers, family or totally alone when we bite the big one.



Remember this scene between Lemmon and Matthau in Grumpy Old Men?

Max Goldman: You know what Jacob said? Jacob said old Billy Hensel was killed in a car crash. Cleared his car straight off the bridge into the Mississippi.
John Gustafson: Lucky bastard.
Max Goldman: You bet.
John Gustafson: Hey, how is he, anyway?
Max Goldman: Dead! Died on impact!
John Gustafson: Jacob, moron, Jacob!


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## Denise1952 (Mar 13, 2014)

I don't like the idea of physical pain, but dying for some reason doesn't scare me.  Now living?  Some days, that's terrifying, LOL!!


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