# Breaking the Ice



## Gardenlover (Jan 26, 2020)

I wish I had something like this forum when I was younger.

What's the best way to break the ice when you meet people for the first time at a party or new social circles?

I've always found that if you get people to start talking about themselves, while being (or least acting) interested, your golden.


----------



## JustBonee (Jan 26, 2020)

Gardenlover said:


> I've always found that if you get people to start talking about themselves, while being (or least acting) interested, your golden.



 Bingo!


----------



## Aunt Bea (Jan 26, 2020)

I'm rarely the person that breaks the ice but when I'm with young people I always try to ask a question in a way that requires more than a yes or no answer.


----------



## CinnamonSugar (Jan 26, 2020)

(to another woman)  "I love your  shoes/blouse/purse...  where did you find it?"


----------



## Keesha (Jan 26, 2020)

Love your hair!
Is it real? 

..... clearly not a social butterfly


----------



## Ladybj (Jan 26, 2020)

Gardenlover said:


> I wish I had something like this forum when I was younger.
> 
> What's the best way to break the ice when you meet people for the first time at a party or new social circles?
> 
> I've always found that if you get people to start talking about themselves, while being (or least acting) interested, your golden.


It comes a bit easy for me.  I may compliment someone on their shoes, outfit, etc.  I may ask how they are enjoying the social event, etc.  Its good to know extrovert and introvert personalities.  My hubby is an introvert so I can spot those but I still may approach them but I respect their boundaries.  I can tell if a person wants to be left alone or they don't mind striking up a conversation.


----------



## DaveA (Jan 26, 2020)

The one thing that I've learned and chosen never to ask - -especially of retired guys is what did you have for a job - do for a living - or anything that resembles it.  It's like turning on the faucet and the handle breaks off.  Once started it becomes the "never ending story".

No subject is safe from a job/profession connection.  It would  seem that for some, their wives and kids are a sideline and having to spend times with them never matches up to their employment. At a certain age, they have to be dragged away and sent home to live out their days dreaming about their time in the workforce and if you open the door just a crack, they're in there with "The Big Story", time after time after time after - - - - - - - .


----------



## Catlady (Jan 26, 2020)

Tell them you're a billionaire, in short order everyone in the room will be hanging to your every word, not just the ladies.    

Just kidding here.  The most straighforward thing you can say is,  "Hi, I'm Mike, how are you doing?"  Honesty and simplicity always works.


----------



## pleinmont (Jan 27, 2020)

I would never in a million years flatter anyone by saying something I don't mean. I have never had any difficulty talking to anyone whoever they are, including celebs.


----------



## toffee (Jan 27, 2020)

dont think I have had  a problem --usually if you listen in a group of new people --it gives you
a idea of what to say ...


----------



## pleinmont (Jan 27, 2020)

I have done a lot of public speaking in my time, which appears to have gone down well with the audience.


----------



## Gary O' (Jan 27, 2020)

Gardenlover said:


> I've always found that if you get people to start talking about themselves, while being (or least acting) interested, your golden.





Bonnie said:


> Bingo!


Beat me to it

Has yet to fail


----------



## Lakeland living (Jan 27, 2020)

Being the social butterfly like I am , most of the time I don't want to break the ice.
Social to a point, small one.


----------



## CrackerJack (Jan 27, 2020)

I am not shy and love socially interacting with people and kids teenagers and adults and folk I dont know or know well. I think most people like to feel accepted and liked but then some are not bothered but it dont mean they are antisocial, just private individuals.


----------



## Lc jones (Feb 6, 2020)

I’ve always had a hard time with this as I am an introvert, it’s always helpful to put the other person first and to ask them about themselves, not to be nosy but to find out what their hobbies are and where they come from etc.


----------



## ClassicRockr (Feb 6, 2020)

Many years ago, I was somewhat of an introvert. Then, one morning, while looking in the mirror, I realized that life wasn't so fun being an introvert. So, I changed. Actually, a person can't be an introvert and go to a rock-n-roll or country-western nightclub.

I remember one Christmas Party my wife and I went to that her co-worker invited us to. I was in a wheelchair, due to a hip replacement recovery. Wife rolled me into the front door of the co-worker's house. I was shocked that it looked like nobody was having any fun. Just sitting around and talking rather low. As she rolled me into the living room area, I said (sort of loud), "I thought this was a party??!!" Same statement Kevin Bacon (Ren) said when him and Lorrie Singer (Arial) went into their Senior Dance. Well, the co-worker switched the music from Christmas to Classic Rock and people started having some fun. People were drinking wine, but not wife and I. We asked for a nice cold Bud Light, of which the host (co-worker) had plenty of. When we left, the co-worker thanked me for getting her party going. I said, "you're quite welcome", with a smile.


----------



## StarSong (Feb 6, 2020)

When at parties or events, I have two go-to ice breakers.  The first is to ask people how they got their names.  "Hi Linda, nice to meet you.  How did you happen to score such a lovely first name?"  

The second is to look around and ask how someone is connected to the event. (Friend of the bride? Long time volunteer at this charity function? Neighbor of the party-thrower?)   

People can answer as in depth as they choose, but these always get the ball rolling.


----------



## Lee (Feb 6, 2020)

Recently moved to a new community and was invited to a meet and greet. Asking questions about the community such as the best places to shop, or which to avoid works as everyone shops for something.

Walking and stopping to pat people's pooches works too....I am on a first name basis with every dog around here.


----------



## Catlady (Feb 6, 2020)

Lee said:


> Walking and *stopping to pat people's pooches works too*....I am on a first name basis with every dog around here.



Be careful about that, Lee!

JOKE =
 Two men waiting for light at an intersection.  Dog sitting next to guy #2. 
 Guy #1 asks,  "Does your dog bite?", 
Guy #2 answers,  "No". 
 Guy #1 pets the dog and the dog bites him. 
 Guy #1,  "I thought you said your dog doesn't bite?".   
Guy #2,  "My dog doesn't bite, that's not my dog".


----------



## Keesha (Feb 6, 2020)

Lee said:


> Walking and stopping to pat people's pooches works too....I am on a first name basis with every dog around here.


People who show interest in my dogs  I always have time for and people who show interest in their dogs I always have time for. How people treat their pets says a lot about them.


----------



## Ruthanne (Feb 7, 2020)

Gardenlover said:


> I wish I had something like this forum when I was younger.
> 
> What's the best way to break the ice when you meet people for the first time at a party or new social circles?
> 
> I've always found that if you get people to start talking about themselves, while being (or least acting) interested, your golden.


I agree with you 100% and it makes for learning their interesting stories.


----------



## Lakeland living (Feb 7, 2020)

Have been doing the walks with my dogs for decades now. Good way to meet people and figure out if you want them any closer than
they are currently. Something different has worked its way out, most people that have dogs and have even just the bare manners are very
nice and relaxed. While the people I meet without pets are uptight and grumpy. Starting to think there something in this.


----------



## Lc jones (Feb 7, 2020)

Lakeland living said:


> Have been doing the walks with my dogs for decades now. Good way to meet people and figure out if you want them any closer than
> they are currently. Something different has worked its way out, most people that have dogs and have even just the bare manners are very
> nice and relaxed. While the people I meet without pets are uptight and grumpy. Starting to think there something in this.


I think that’s why the hospital staff likes to see therapy dogs coming in, it tends to cheer people up and calm them down.


----------



## JimBob1952 (Feb 7, 2020)

I've found something that works pretty well.  

I ask "Did you grow up here?"  (e.g. wherever we are)

Whether the answer is yes or no, it gets people talking about school, family, parents, children, etc.


----------



## Lc jones (Feb 7, 2020)

ClassicRockr said:


> Many years ago, I was somewhat of an introvert. Then, one morning, while looking in the mirror, I realized that life wasn't so fun being an introvert. So, I changed. Actually, a person can't be an introvert and go to a rock-n-roll or country-western nightclub.
> 
> I remember one Christmas Party my wife and I went to that her co-worker invited us to. I was in a wheelchair, due to a hip replacement recovery. Wife rolled me into the front door of the co-worker's house. I was shocked that it looked like nobody was having any fun. Just sitting around and talking rather low. As she rolled me into the living room area, I said (sort of loud), "I thought this was a party??!!" Same statement Kevin Bacon (Ren) said when him and Lorrie Singer (Arial) went into their Senior Dance. Well, the co-worker switched the music from Christmas to Classic Rock and people started having some fun. People were drinking wine, but not wife and I. We asked for a nice cold Bud Light, of which the host (co-worker) had plenty of. When we left, the co-worker thanked me for getting her party going. I said, "you're quite welcome", with a smile.


Great insight I agree completely, the party always get started when you get that music going and some classic rock is playing. It just livens up a party and makes it so much more fun.


----------



## Nautilus (Feb 8, 2020)

I like to begin with a compliment. "You don't sweat much for a fat girl" always gets a response.


----------



## StarSong (Feb 8, 2020)

Deleted


----------

