# Funny Answering Machine & Voicemail Messages



## Meanderer (Aug 3, 2014)

When The Answering Machine Was Our Servant!

In 1935, Willy Müller invented the world’s first automatic answering machine. It was a three-foot-tall machine popular with Orthodox Jews who were forbidden to answer the phone on the Sabbath. Then in 1960, the Ansafone, created by inventor Dr. Kazuo Hashimoto (Phonetel), was the first answering machine sold in the USA. In 1971, PhoneMate introduced one of the first commercially viable answering machines, the Model 400. It weighed 10 pounds and held 20 messages on a reel-to-reel tape.










Roses are red, some willows weep, please leave your message, after the beep
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet, and so are you
The roses have wilted, the violets are dead,
The sugar bowl’s empty, and so is your head
The roses stink, sorta like sheep
But leave your name, number, and message after the beep
The roses are molding, the violets are rotten
And I might call you back, if I haven’t forgotten
We might be in, we might be out, but leave a message and you might find out!
Like Barney (the purple dinosaur):
I’ll call you, cause you called me. We’re the ______ family. So leave your
name and number at the tone. Sorry that we’re not at home.
Twinkle, Twinkle little star,
bet your wondering where we are?
Well, put your mouth up to the phone
And leave us a message for when we get home.
And if you can make your message rhyme,
We’ll call you back in half the time!!!!!
These words are lovely dark and deep
But I’ve got promises to keep
and miles to go before I sleep
So leave a message at the beep.
Hey, it’s ________
Sorry you can’t get through
Leave your name and your number
And I’ll get back to you
Sorry we’re not here to lend an ear, so leave a word and you’ll be heard.
So long as phones can ring and eyes can see, leave a message, and I’ll get back to thee.
Now I lay me down to sleep; Leave a message at the beep. If I should die before I wake, remember to erase the tape.
Roses are red booger’s are green please leave your message on this stupid machine.


“Hi, you have reached the Borg collective. Please leave your name and star system and we’ll assimilate you as soon as we can.”
You are dazed, bewildered, trapped in a world with no time, where color collides with sound, and shadows explode. You see a sign up ahead. This is no ordinary answering device; this is “The Twilight Phone”


----------



## Michael. (Aug 11, 2014)

.

This one is a 'Golden Oldie' but it might be new to some members.

Imagine you heard this on your answering machine
.

http://www.youtube.com/embed/SOf-LSGAzuI

.​


----------

