# New to retirement sort of....have a question



## cindy

Hi everyone,


i am retired, husband still works at our business.  Here is the problem, we were going into foreclosure late office (bldg) payments, we were able to re finance but business is so slow and we owe other bills including his car, mine is paid for, but bottom line is with his car and now re paying loan on bldg and one other high dollar bill we can't make it.  

I need help suggestions on what is best to do.


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## rkunsaw

Without much info to go on my first thought is to sell the car you owe on and get by with one car until you can get your debt under control.


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## cindy

cindy said:


> Hi everyone,
> 
> 
> i am retired, husband still works at our business.  Here is the problem, we were going into foreclosure late office (bldg) payments, we were able to re finance but business is so slow and we owe other bills including his car, mine is paid for, but bottom line is with his car and now re paying loan on bldg and one other high dollar bill we can't make it.
> 
> I need help suggestions on what is best to do.



i agree Larry and the car we owe on is my husbands 2008 Cadillac which was ridiculous to buy, but when I mention selling it he gets all upset and this is stressing me mainly the bldg note, car pmt and one other big monthly bill.  House is paid for thank goodness.

thanks for answering now to get it into his head .......


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## SeaBreeze

If the business is slow, would you consider selling out and shutting it down? That may take care of some debt at least.  I agree with Rkunsaw about the car too, downgrading to something that's less expensive and easy on gas would be the wise thing to do.  Don't know about the other big monthly bill, but if it's something like a credit card, it must be paid off.  Glad to hear your house is paid for, that certainly helps.


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## Diwundrin

Good luck with prising him apart from the Caddy but that would be my first move in the situation I think.  Sentiment won't pay bills.


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## GDAD

cindy said:


> Hi everyone,
> 
> 
> i am retired, husband still works at our business.  Here is the problem, we were going into foreclosure late office (bldg) payments, we were able to re finance but business is so slow and we owe other bills including his car, mine is paid for, but bottom line is with his car and now re paying loan on bldg and one other high dollar bill we can't make it.
> 
> I need help suggestions on what is best to do.



Try getting all your loans consolidated into one payment. The bank which helps your business may have a plan to suit your income!


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## cindy

SeaBreeze said:


> If the business is slow, would you consider selling out and shutting it down? That may take care of some debt at least.  I agree with Rkunsaw about the car too, downgrading to something that's less expensive and easy on gas would be the wise thing to do.  Don't know about the other big monthly bill, but if it's something like a credit card, it must be paid off.  Glad to hear your house is paid for, that certainly helps.


 Well we owe on the building and it was going into foreclosure, my husband (I was not for this) re-Financed it. but as it's slowand first pmt on bldg comes due next month, going to be hard.  The other big bill is the IRS, we have pmts arranged, I would like to lower them.


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## cindy

Diwundrin said:


> Good luck with prising him apart from the Caddy but that would be my first move in the situation I think.  Sentiment won't pay bills.


u about pr

I agree with you about prying him from Caddy, mine is a Hyundai good on gas and best of all it's paid for!!!!!!!


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## Fern

I can relate to your situation. And what I learned was, there are times when we have to bite the bullet to get control, or risk losing everything.


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## Katybug

Fern said:


> I can relate to your situation. And what I learned was,
> 
> there are times when we have to bite the bullet to get control, or risk losing everything.




*I totally agree with this and any professional you may speak with regarding your situation could perhaps get your husband's attention on this.  If it continues on as it, I'm sure you will be speaking with those who are more than capable of making life extremely unpleasant for both of you.  Sorry to say this, but it seems to me your husband is not accepting reality.  I feel bad for  you in having to go through this.  
*


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## cindy

Katybug said:


> [/COLOR]
> 
> *I totally agree with this and any professional you may speak with regarding your situation could perhaps get your husband's attention on this.  If it continues on as it, I'm sure you will be speaking with those who are more than capable of making life extremely unpleasant for both of you.  Sorry to say this, but it seems to me your husband is not accepting reality.  I feel bad for  you in having to go through this.
> *



Thanks Katybug and your right seems I can see and he doesn't want to realize ..driving me nuts what can happen is my car taken for back pmts on one bill as it is paid for and then if can't pay bldg pmts his car can go we will have NO car grrrrrrrrr. Someone needs to talk sense to him he won' t listen to me it seems.  Thanks everyone for input it is all very helpful.......


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## SeaBreeze

Try reverse psychology Cindy, you're a smart lady, maybe you can make it _his_ idea...


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## cindy

cindy said:


> Thanks Katybug and your right seems I can see and he doesn't want to realize ..driving me nuts what can happen is my car taken for back pmts on one bill as it is paid for and then if can't pay bldg pmts his car can go we will have NO car grrrrrrrrr. Someone needs to talk sense to him he won' t listen to me it seems.  Thanks everyone for input it is all very helpful.......


That's a good idea, but how would I go about starting the conversation, every time I mention anything such as see if we can reduce a bill, or sell his car he becomes defensive Big Time.


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## Diwundrin

SeaBreeze said:


> Try reverse psychology Cindy, you're a smart lady, maybe you can make it _his_ idea...



I used to use that on bosses! :rofl: 

"That suggestion you had about... whatever... might work pretty well if we can change.... " 
By the time they give up trying to remember what they said and when,  I'd have 'our' preferred solution in their heads and they'd really think it *was* their idea.


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## cindy

Ii tried, but to no avail, meaning trying to get Caddy sold


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## terra

When he objects to losing the Caddy.... remind him of this nice little saying.


"I used to complain because I had no shoes... until I met a man who had no feet".


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## Diwundrin

Get a quote from a divorce lawyer Cindy.  Get an itemised account of what that will cost him, slap it on the table next to the rego papers for the Caddy and leave him a cuppa cawfee and some time to think about it.


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## That Guy

How can I put this nicely . . . ?  Oh, never mind.  He's being stupid.


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## Diwundrin

Yeah, well, I graduated from the Rhino School of Diplomacy 

 ....and sometimes we have to fight fire with fire, right?


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## Katybug

If you don't have children or a close friend who can get his attention on this, I say you may want to threaten moving out and be willing to do it.  It's harsh as can be, and hoping you have family or friends you can stay with, but I couldn't live with someone so unreasonable who was putting me and my future in such a dire situation.  Whatever you choose to do, it won't be easy, but you seriously need to be thinking of anything that will get his attention on this and as quickly as possible, however harsh it may be on you to enforce it.  Whether you go or stay, it's going to be harsh, as your husband is simply not thinking clearly.  

I have no idea where you live, but here we have legal counseling available for $100 for 30 minutes.  If that's at all possible, I hope you are able to take advantage of it.  You need to know what your legal rights are since he's oblivious to any form of reasoning.  Good luck, my dear, my heart goes out to you.


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## cindy

TWHRider said:


> Cindy, do you think he'd listen to someone else as to why he needs to sell the Caddy?   Do you have someone in your circle that could literally do a "financial intervention?"
> 
> We Americans are notorious for our sentimental love affairs with our cars; I'm as guilty as the next person as I still have my son's old Chevy.  However, if I get to the point that I need extra money, that car will go out the driveway in a skinny minute and my 17 yr old nephew can forget about why he thinks he needs to inherit that car when I cash in.
> 
> Paying the utilities and eating is a lot more important than looking at an old car.
> 
> Also, you didn't say if your company has been incorporated (if you did and I missed that, I apologize).  If your in the U.S. and your business is not incorporated, all of your personal holdings (home, cars, expensive jewelry, even computers) can be "attached" to help pay off the debts of the business.
> 
> You might be better off filing bankruptcy against the business.  Or a Poverty Affidavit if those are allowed on businesses and you would qualify; I don't even know if Poverty Affidavits are nationwide or something only certain states allow.
> 
> If the business is not incorporated, you don't want to lose your home over a 2008 Cadillac.  Good luck with this, you've got your hands full



Yes we are Incorporated.  We are also homesteader and house is paid in full.
 Now we are getting a lot of bigg dollar business which is good, We are a medical company, we have been Inc for many years.  The bankruptcy is a possibility if worse comes to worse.  Right now things (not to brag, but Thanks to me) are doing good need to keep it going.  I appreciate all ideas , but Divorce atty is not one of them,  sorry


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## rkunsaw

terra said:


> "I used to complain because I had no shoes... until I met a man who had no feet".



"So I asked the man if he had any shoes he didn't need."

Just finishing the quote for you terra.


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## Judi.D

Sounds like you really can't get through to him. I know this is harsh, but maybe it is time that you do things to protect yourself. My neighbor had a similar problem. She started to file her income taxes separate from her husband. She made sure she had a car that was just in her name. She also didn't sign for anything jointly. She did get her husband to put the house in just her name. When everything did fall apart they didn't lose their home and they were able to keep the her car.


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## Denise1952

cindy said:


> Yes we are Incorporated.  We are also homesteader and house is paid in full.
> Now we are getting a lot of bigg dollar business which is good, We are a medical company, we have been Inc for many years.  The bankruptcy is a possibility if worse comes to worse.  Right now things (not to brag, but Thanks to me) are doing good need to keep it going.  I appreciate all ideas , but Divorce atty is not one of them,  sorry



Yes, I hate seeing anyone resort to using the word divorce  We live in a world of throw-away relationships, sadly.  I think there are better work-arounds mentioned in this thread, way better. denise


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