# How Successful People Handle Toxic People



## SeaBreeze (Nov 11, 2014)

I know I've come across a few toxic people in the workplace over the years.  The ones who are always angry, and start complaining and going on and on about something they disagree with or don't like.  I knew someone who always talked about the trouble she had seen, if it was sunny, she'd say that the rain was on its way.  If you had a headache, she had a migraine, and so on.

Since I'm usually in tune to people's feelings, and kind of sensitive that way myself, I started to notice that my positive or happy mood was being dragged down by these people.  In the case of that woman, she'd dump all her troubles for the day on me privately, and I started out empathizing with her, just for her to be laughing her head off about something with someone else, like her problems suddenly disappeared.  My mood was definitely dampened for no good reason at all.  I think she took advantage of a 'shoulder to cry on', even to the point of making things up.

I soon learned to consider the source with these toxic personalities, and not let their words and actions affect me.  It took a little getting used to, but once I acknowledged the reality of the whole thing, it was easy to continue blocking out the negativity, and not get sucked into their dungeons.

Here's an article about this type of thing.  Have you ever had to deal with a toxic personality in real life?  Did they affect your mood, or were they able to 'push your buttons'?  If so, how did you handle it?

http://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/successful-people-handle-toxic-people/



> Toxic people defy logic. Some are blissfully unaware of the negative impact they have on those around them, and others seem to derive satisfaction from creating chaos and pushing other people’s buttons. Either way, they create unnecessary drama, strife, and worst of all stress, which has proven to be harmful for your health.
> 
> The ability to manage your emotions and remain calm under pressure has a direct link to your performance. TalentSmart has conducted research with more than a million people and discovered that 90% of top performers are skilled at managing their emotions in times of stress in order to remain in control.
> 
> One of their greatest gifts is the ability to neutralize toxic people. They employ well-honed coping strategies that enable them to control what they can, and eliminate the rest. Here are 12 ways that successful people deal with toxic people:


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## hollydolly (Nov 11, 2014)

Oh yes I've known many..none worse than my current Boss. She is a toxic  narcissist ..

She'd make a pot plant depressed.. 

I have always said...if the telephone rings or the door knocks and your immediate reaction is..''I hope it's not so and so''...then usually that means that the person is Toxic 'friend or relative', and you need to distance yourself from that person if at all possible. Toxicity is a poison, and it will destroy your soul!


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## Ralphy1 (Nov 12, 2014)

Avoid whenever possible or keep your involvement with them as brief as possible...


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## Pappy (Nov 12, 2014)

I have met a few in my life and do my best to avoid them. It seems like they are not happy until they can bring you down to their level. Not gonna happen here. I smile, nod my head, give them the finger behind my back and walk away. Far, far away.


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## Debby (Nov 12, 2014)

SeaBreeze said:


> I know I've come across a few toxic people....... Have you ever had to deal with a toxic personality in real life?  Did they affect your mood, or were they able to 'push your buttons'?  If so, how did you handle it? .......




Yep, my mother.  Mrs. Negative- I know-everything-more-than-you'.


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## ClassicRockr (Nov 12, 2014)

A lot of people who seem to be or are angry/negative are that way for a reason. The reason could be medical and/or mental.........but, still, for a reason. Sometimes, I can even be that way and I will tell people, "the world isn't made up of positive stuff all the time". It is nice to have a "positive" mind, but it isn't necessarily reality. 

If, somehow, people could find out why a person is angry/negative so much, those angry/negative people could be helped some way. 

Just my take on the Thread.


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## Warrigal (Nov 12, 2014)

I just recognise them as a character known as Hanrahan in an old bush poem.
Hanrahan represents people who cannot rejoice in anything, the opposite of Pollyanna.



> *Said      Hanrahan
> PJ Hartigan © by      John O'Brien*
> 
> "We'll all be rooned,"      said Hanrahan in accents most forlorn,
> ...


I'm firmly in the Pollyanna camp. My approach to this kind of Cassandra is to laugh at them and pity them for their pessimistic outlook.


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## Falcon (Nov 12, 2014)

I give them a WIIIDE berth!  Too depressing to be around.
EVERYTHING that comes out of their mouth is negative. (Whatever the reason.)


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## jujube (Nov 12, 2014)

View attachment 11023

It's harder in real life, but this is how I handle on-line "downers"...


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## Kitties (Nov 12, 2014)

I know I can be a bit grumpy at work sometimes. I think this is from the fact that I take work very seriously when I'm there. I've also had to do a lot of clean up from things others didn't do. And I'm not just saying so. It's true. And an administration that doesn't seem to care. Chronic problem everywhere it seems.

I know I used to follow this individual with an LVN license who prefaced every report with what a bad and busy day she had. Yet she was always out on time. I rarely am. I finally told her literally "stop prefacing every report with what a bad day you had. I'm tired of listening to it. You don't know what I have ahead of me" That gratefully shut her up and gratefully she now just does paper work and I rarely see her.

I'm not happy with the individual I work with two of my four days. I'm trying to figure out why no one else notices she spends so much time sitting at the desk. But in the end I have to worry about my own job performance only. Otherwise I really will go nuts on the job.


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## Butterfly (Nov 12, 2014)

I try to avoid toxic people as much as possible.  Very difficult, though, when you work for one.


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## oakapple (Nov 13, 2014)

I enjoyed the poem Dame Warrigal. Yes, there are always people who seem to get a perverse something out of being miserable.I try to let it go in one ear and out the other.As opposed to genuine people in need of a sympathetic ear from time to time [as also opposed to all the time.]


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