# May be my first Thanksgiving alone



## debodun (Nov 24, 2014)

I had a friend that used to invite me to her house for holidays, but I fear I will not be invited ever again due to a falling out we had this summer about an item I had stipulated go to her in my will. She called me up one afternoon in June and asked if I'd consider giving, or even selling it, to her now. I was really shocked and put off by her hubris. To me it was like saying "You're not dying fast enough." I refused to part with "my precious" and told her so. I have not heard from her since, except to get a virtually wordless email with a link to a newspaper obituary of her mother. 
Also, the weather does not portend very well for this area Wednesday or Thursday (up to 9" of heavy, wet snow predicted). If that were the case, even going out to a public dinner would be difficult. What little is left of my family (a few cousins and three aunts by marriage) have NEVER invited me to ANY holidays at their homes. Someone suggested to me that I get a small turkey breast and cook it for myself, but I fear they are missing my point - to me it's less about the meal as it is to have company. What's your take on this situation?


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## Falcon (Nov 24, 2014)

Have YOU ever invited THEM to your house for Thanksgiving?


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## RadishRose (Nov 24, 2014)

It's sad about that "friend". Have you reached out to her since, if only to acknowledge the death of her mother? Sometimes all it takes is an extra step to reunite good friends. Maybe you can invite one or some of the other family members to your place?

I have spent some Thanksgiving Days alone and while that didn't killl me, I know how you feel. Just don't let it overcome you and start planning next year's feast!


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## debodun (Nov 24, 2014)

I made a donation to one of the charities listed in the obituary. I'm sure my friend was notified of it by the charity, but I never received a phone call or even an email from her thanking me for it. I also did not attend the funeral as in the obit it stated that they were "private" and "at the convenience of the family". 

I've never entertained at my house. I just don't have the facilities or the knowledge to put on a big feast. Also, my home would NOT win the Martha Stewart award for diligent housekeeping.


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## AprilT (Nov 24, 2014)

I understand how you feel, even though this year, I won't be alone, I have spent a few by myself with no real regrets, other than, I wish my family were still around to spend it with, but in their absence, I spend the day without much fuss.

The suggestion of buying yourself a small turkey breast or even some cornish hens, or small roaster and making yourself a nice meal sounds good.  Get some movies, reading materials and or spend some time chatting up people who will be spending time online and before you know it the day will be over.


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## Happyflowerlady (Nov 24, 2014)

The rescue missions always need help and especially on big holiday meals like Thanksgiving.  We helped with that before, and it is a great feeling to be part of helping to feed the homeless, plus you will have a nice Thanksgiving meal and lots of people to eat it with. Churches often have people that volunteer to help the rescue missions, but on the family-oriented holidays, most people who would normally volunteer are busy with their own  families.
It might be that the weather would be too harsh for you to go anywhere and help; but if you are able to go, you might really enjoy the helping, the company, and the delicious meal.


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## Shirley (Nov 24, 2014)

Any chance you could get to my house for Thanksgiving?  If you are not Martha Stewart clean, you would fit right in.


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## debodun (Nov 24, 2014)

Not unless you live within 50 miles of Albany, NY


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## Shirley (Nov 24, 2014)

Won't work, then. How about next year?


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## debodun (Nov 24, 2014)

Too early to make any plans.


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## hollydolly (Nov 24, 2014)

Me toooooooooo i wanna go to hang out at Shirley's place...


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## SeaBreeze (Nov 24, 2014)

I won't be alone for Thanksgiving Debodun, because hubby will be here.  But we're not making a big fuss at all, or having a special holiday meal.  If the weather is bad, you probably should just stay in and have a quiet meal by yourself.  Remember, me and a lot of others will still be here to talk to, so you won't be that alone....hugs. :love_heart:


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## 911 (Nov 25, 2014)

I will trade any one of you lonely folks for that one day. We are having 17 here on Thursday, I think my wife told me last night. I guess I won't be watching much football that day. She came from a large family, 14 kids. I came from a small family. Mom, dad and me.


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## ClassicRockr (Nov 25, 2014)

I remember the 21 years I was single/divorced and only remember one year (1998) spending Thanksgiving with a friend of mine. She was single/divorced as well, but 10 years older and just a friend. She didn't cook dinner, we got a Thanksgiving Dinner "take out" and it was pretty good. For the other years, I would sit in my room (room rental in a house) and have a Turkey TV Dinner. Didn't like being alone or the TV Dinner, but that's all I had. When I met my wife in early 2000, that all changed and I was so, so *GLAD* it did. Having a family for both Thanksgiving and Christmas was so great for 2 years we lived close to them. Now we live states away and financially just can't afford to travel to be with them. Wife and I miss the "get-together", but it just the way it is.

Wife and I have fun together for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Have finally decided this year to cook at home. Not a full-size turkey, but it will definitely be a good Thanksgiving Dinner for us.


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## GeorgiaXplant (Nov 25, 2014)

Deb, I'm so sorry. I agree with HFL and would start first with your own church if it serves a meal. If not, then call around to find out who does and volunteer. You'll have plenty of company on both sides of the table. In any case, I hope the bad weather misses you.


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## Athos (Nov 25, 2014)

I have spent a few Thanksgivings alone, some by choice. It was okay, I didn't mind because I am not a real social person anyway.

You will be all right. You can call them on that day or wait until the next day. Birthdays alone are worse
for me, so is New Years Eve. How much of their conversation will you really miss anyway?


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## SeaBreeze (Nov 25, 2014)

911 said:


> I will trade any one of you lonely folks for that one day. We are having 17 here on Thursday, I think my wife told me last night. I guess I won't be watching much football that day. She came from a large family, 14 kids. I came from a small family. Mom, dad and me.



WOW, that's a full house there 911! Good luck, lol!  That many people wouldn't even fit in my house, I'd have to move them all out into the yard!


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## QuickSilver (Nov 25, 2014)

I had one Thanksgiving alone after my husband died...  I made myself a small Turkey breast with all the trimmings and had a bottle of wine and pigged out. I actually enjoyed it..


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## Lee (Nov 26, 2014)

Go out.....even if to a fast food joint.....you just might strike up a conversation with someone that is in the same situation as you. It happens, a new friend perhaps.

Look at it this way, you gotta eat whether it's a holiday or not, the tummy says it's just another day.


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## GeorgiaXplant (Nov 27, 2014)

I agree with Lee (again!). What did you decide to do, Deb?


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## debodun (Nov 28, 2014)

I made a meal for myself. Bought a fresh half breast of turkey, then I made mashed potatoes, brussels sprouts, yamash (a mix of butternut squash and sweet potato), cornbread stuffing and canned whole cranberry sauce. What a nightmare with the turkey, though! I followed the directions (preheat oven to 325°, tent with alumimum foil, bake for 1 to 1.5 hours). I checked it at an hour to see if I could baste it and it wasn't even heated enough to exude drippings and it still looked pretty raw. I checked it again in 45 minutes and the same thing. I turned up the heat to 350° and took off the foil and let it go another half hour. The pop-up timer still hadn't popped and no juices to baste with. Shoved it back in and went to check it in another half hour and found the oven door jammed shut and noticed a kind of lever sticking out above the door. I tried and tried to move that lever, but I couldn't budge it. I even used a screwdriver to try to pry open the open door. Finally in desperation I called my cousin. He said he was just about to sit down to dinner, but he came over anyway. He tried and tried to push that lever back and even pulled the handle off the oven door. I got an hammer and suggested he tap that lever looking thing. It took some doing, but he pounded it back in place and got the door open and replaced the handle. Well, by that time the timer had popped up. I let the meat rest 15 minutes, but I had trouble cutting it. It was tough, dry and tasteless - like chewing rubber bands, but since there were never any drippings, I couldn't baste or make gravy. The best thing I made, though, was the cornbread pan stuffing and the yamash was good, too. My potatoes were a bit lumpy, but edible. I made apple cranberry crisp for dessert which was very good. So apart from the turkey/oven disaster, my first stab at doing a Thanksgiving dinner was passable.


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## SeaBreeze (Nov 28, 2014)

Wow, it looks like a nice meal Deb, sorry you had so much trouble with the oven door.  My oven is electric and self-cleaning.  The lever on the door locks it to clean the oven on high temperatures.  I'm sure you locked the door accidently.   Thanks for the update, I was thinking about you yesterday. :love_heart:


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## GeorgiaXplant (Nov 28, 2014)

Gimme some of that apple cranberry crisp! Yummmmm.


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## debodun (Nov 29, 2014)

I'll post the recipe in the food board.


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## jujube (Nov 29, 2014)

Sounds like the lever was to lock the door for your self-cleaning cycle.  The first time I used the cycle, I set the oven on fire.  My fault.....I hadn't adequately cleaned up the boil-over on the floor of the oven and several minutes into the cycle, it caught on fire.  The door is locked and can't be opened until the oven gets to a low enough temperature.  So smoke is coming out the vent, all the smoke detectors are screaming and I CAN'T GET THE OVEN DOOR OPEN to put out the fire.  Luckily, it didn't cause any damage; windows and doors open and fans in the kitchen window did the trick.  I learned my lesson well that day.


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## RadishRose (Nov 29, 2014)

Debodun I had the same problem w/ my oven! Called a repair place & the guy talked me through pressing a little button I could not seem to find myself! Glad to see you made a great dinner!


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## Vala (Dec 11, 2014)

When my husband died I quit doing the things I always did, that includes cooking.  I had been a good  wife and mother and took care of everything, putting myself last.  I was going through major burn out when my husband was diagnosed with AZ.  I took care of him 4 yrs, then over saw his care for 9 months.  Now I do what I please.  I get invitations, but I say no.   I have one friend who wants me to go with her to their dinner.  She brings me dinner and I toss it.  She dropped a couple of nights ago to see if I was okay, stayed about 10 minutes.   Grrrr.... I am going to have to be more forceful with her and tell to stop feeling sorry for me, it is my choice to be alone.


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