# Government Suppresses Source of Senior Wisdom and Knowledge



## SifuPhil (Feb 10, 2014)

Advertisement​ 


*Government Suppresses Online Source of  Senior Wisdom and Knowledge*
​

*Wilkes-Barre* – The United States government has been suppressing a rich Internet source of knowledge for senior citizens, according to several published reports.


 Experts in gerontology – the study of old people – have revealed that this source contains more wisdom, intelligence and old-fashioned common sense than any other website devoted to senior citizens, and fear that if present trends continue and the website in question is not saved by caring seniors then it may well disappear forever.  



We told you so!
​ The reasons for this suppression go back many, many years and have to do      with a bill passed in late 2001 called the HomeNet Security Act, which among other things stipulated that NO Internet website could allow or display any conversations that exhibited common sense or intelligence. *The HomeNet Act*, as it is often referred to, claims that any such displays would encourage acts of electronic terrorism and might eventually lead to armed uprisings among small groups of the elderly.  


 Citing The Great Walker Rebellion of 1999 as an example, Chief Justice Warren Bugger stated that “never again shall red-blooded Americans have to fear terrorist acts by senior citizens. This bill is intended to seek out and destroy all such un-American activities by nipping them in the bud.”


 As will be recalled, The Great Walker Rebellion took place on December 24[SUP]th[/SUP], 1999 at a Wal-Mart Supercenter in Kissentell, Iowa when a group of 73 senior citizens, all armed with their walkers and outraged over the stocking of Valentine's Day supplies on the shelves before Christmas had even arrived, took to the aisles and smashed and looted in a violent frenzy of protest. Local police backed up by county SWAT teams had to employ rubber bullets, tear gas and the playing of rap Christmas carols over the PA system to quell the riot.



The Aftermath ...

​ 3 seniors died during the confrontation, 24 were injured and 15 soiled themselves, but public support of senior knowledge and common-sense was bolstered by their brave actions.


*NOW *the last remaining venue for the dissemination of such knowledge – the Internet – is being taken over by hostile government forces. No longer will you be able to log-on to your favorite senior citizen forum and speak freely of “the old days” - you will instead be automatically redirected to ThoseKrazyKardashians.com. The website that you wanted will wither and die, all because *YOU* did not take action!


*HOW CAN YOU HELP?
*

 But there IS a solution, a way to preserve all of that hard-won knowledge for succeeding generations.  


 You can join SeniorForums.com.


 By joining this staunch ally of senior citizens the world over you will be adding your voice to thousands of others that are daily engaged in the fight for dignity, compassion and a smooth-tipped catheter.  


 It costs nothing but a few minutes to join, but the benefits will last a lifetime.  



*Join Today!  *​


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## Diwundrin (Feb 10, 2014)

I'd buy that!!  :lofl:


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## SifuPhil (Feb 10, 2014)

Diwundrin said:


> I'd buy that!!  :lofl:



Another satisfied customer! Thank you!Why weren't the seniors that soiled themselves wearing Depends?[/QUOTE]

Investigators discovered that the Depends that were previously on sale in Aisle #27-B had been replaced by Valentine's Day greeting cards and chocolates imported from China.



> The Walker Rebellion...that is the jerks last name ...is he involved?



Unfortunately the names of those 73 brave seniors have been lost to history. There is an Unknown Walker Memorial in Pizmo Beach, commemorating the spirit of those selfless freedom fighters. 



> questions I need answered before I join anything.



To answer such questions there is really only one place you can go ...

*SeniorForums.com* *!!!*


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## SeaBreeze (Feb 10, 2014)

LOL and *BRAVO *from an anti-government and anti-Kardashian senior citizen here!  Hopefully will never need the smooth-tipped catheter, but never say never! :applause2: :coolthumb:  ld:


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## Diwundrin (Feb 10, 2014)

Keep 'em coming...


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## SifuPhil (Feb 10, 2014)

Diwundrin said:


> Keep 'em coming...



It would be my pleasure. Unfortunately I don't seem to have full control of the taps - they just open and close all on their own. I just have to be ready to hold a bucket under them.


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## Vivjen (Feb 11, 2014)

I don't wish to introduce any negativity into this conversation...:lies:

But.....what about us overseas visitors; who are watched by the NSA as well.
have you forgotten us?
are we unimportant?
will I have to listen to rap Christmas Carols, and watch the Kardasians?

We are here, standing shoulder to shoulder...if you will let us...lease:


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## Jillaroo (Feb 11, 2014)

_*HaHa love it Phil*_:lol1::lofl:


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## SifuPhil (Feb 11, 2014)

Vivjen said:


> I don't wish to introduce any negativity into this conversation...:lies:
> 
> But.....what about us overseas visitors; who are watched by the NSA as well.
> have you forgotten us?



For the most part, yes.



> are we unimportant?



All things being equal, yes.



> will I have to listen to rap Christmas Carols, and watch the Kardasians?



Over and over again, yes.



> We are here, standing shoulder to shoulder...if you will let us...lease:



Is THAT what that was? I thought the blue flies were in season again.


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## Vivjen (Feb 11, 2014)

Oh....the rejection.


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## SifuPhil (Feb 11, 2014)

Vivjen said:


> Oh....the rejection.



I'm sorry, Viv - I didn't type that. My cat was just walking across the keyboard.

Of COURSE we stand together head and shoulders.


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## Vivjen (Feb 11, 2014)

At least head and shoulders is green apple flavour......

I am the one 30 metres behind you, showing tremendous cowardice....I will be fine there.


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## Pappy (Feb 11, 2014)

Phil, my man. You are my:


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## SifuPhil (Feb 11, 2014)

Vivjen said:


> At least head and shoulders is green apple flavour......



I just take their word for it - I never tasted it.



> I am the one 30 metres behind you, showing tremendous cowardice....I will be fine there.



The smartest generals lead from the rear. 



Pappy said:


> Phil, my man. You are my:



Heh, heh - there was a run on that picture back in the mid '70's at the magic shop. They had business cards with that pic printed on them, and you were supposed to go up to people and ask if they wanted to see your pride and joy, then give them the card.

I know - _*Nerd*_! But it was the '70's ...


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## Pappy (Feb 11, 2014)

Remember it well. Got one of those business size cards somewhere in my Fibber closet.


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## SifuPhil (Feb 11, 2014)

Pappy said:


> Remember it well. Got one of those business size cards somewhere in my Fibber closet.



Cool! I KNEW we had things in common!


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