# SF Thriller



## SifuPhil (Mar 30, 2016)

[h=2]SF Thriller[/h] 


*SCENE 1: **** Phil and his date are strolling through the forum late at night, the fog creating a cozy, intimate atmosphere. She's still upset from the thread they'd seen barely half an hour before and has a grim look on her face. Phil is bopping and bouncing around as usual as they make their way home, and is still teasing her, laughingly saying, "...but it was only another post in “Hot Topics”!

“I don't care – it was tasteless and rude, and I don't want to talk about it anymore!”



Suddenly, zombie-like apparitions appear all around them...a dozen, two dozen...armed with laptops and iPads ... closing in slowly ... groaning ... Phil's gal screams, backs up against a recent post ... Phil valiantly fights against the horde, kicking and swinging, but is ultimately and violently subdued.

*CUT TO*: Phil rising up from the ground, his black clothing all shredded, a demonic look on his face and wearing one white glove. A strong, sensuous bass drives the beat as Phil and the apparitions begin to dance... ***

__________________________________________________ 


It’s close to midnight and something evil’s lurking in SF
It's “Politics” - you hear their arguments that make you deaf
You try to scream but posters steal the sound before you make it
You start to freeze as SeaBreeze looks you right between the eyes,
You’re paralyzed



*Chorus*
 ’cause this is SF, SF night
And no one’s gonna save you from the stupid threads I write
You know it’s SF, SF night
You’re fearing for your life as I post  
all those  
bad things  
tonight



You feel your views change and realize there’s nowhere left to run
You feel the buzz now and wonder when you’ll have some silly fun
You close your eyes and hope this ain't just mental masturbation
But all the while you hear some posters creeping up behind
You’re out of time



*Chorus*
 ’cause this is SF, SF night
There ain’t no second chance against the boring threads in sight
You know it’s SF, SF night
You’re wandering SF as I post  
all those  
bad things  
tonight



*Bridge*
Night posters post
And SF starts to crawl in its masquerade
There’s no escaping the jaws of the chatters this time
(they’re open wide)



They’re out to get you, there’s “normals” closing in on every side
They will possess you unless you give this poster a quick ride
Now is the time for you and I to cuddle close together
All through the night I’ll save you from the weird ideas they scream,
I’ll make you see



*Chorus * 
That this is SF, SF night
 ’cause I can teach you more than any guy would dare to try
Girl, this is SF, SF night
So let me do it right and share a  
killer,
diller,  
thriller (*Phil shown going up on his toes*)
PM here tonight



*(Rap performed by Vincent Price)*



Darkness falls across the board  
And boredom sets into the hoard
Members crawl into their beds
While we terrorize all their threads
And whosoever shall be found
That's single, married or fooling around
Must stand and face this posting hell
And smell that awful sinner’s smell
The foulest stench is in the air
The funk of sixteen hundred members
And blinded souls from forums wide
Are posting comments rude and snide
And though you’ve a right to stay and jive
Your body starts to shiver
For no mere mortal can resist
The evil of … SF!



(fade into maniacal laugh, with deep echo)


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## jujube (Mar 30, 2016)

Phil, ol' boy, you have outdone yourself.


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## SifuPhil (Mar 30, 2016)

jujube said:


> Phil, ol' boy, you have outdone yourself.



Thank you!


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## Shalimar (Mar 30, 2016)

Truly a masterpiece of psychotic humour at it's best. I salute you, hey, you even have Jujube's endorsement, that says it all!


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## SifuPhil (Mar 30, 2016)

I was going for psychotic - thank you!

I know - getting Jujube's thumbs up is like having Siskel and Ebert cheering me.


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## Ina (Mar 30, 2016)

Now who said Philly was only playing with his marbles.  Oh yeah, he did. Fibber!!!!   :hide:


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## SifuPhil (Mar 30, 2016)

Ina said:


> Now who said Philly was only playing with his marbles.  Oh yeah, he did. Fibber!!!!   :hide:



Well, I WAS ... until I lost them ...


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## Falcon (Mar 30, 2016)

Nothing else need be said Phil.  You've covered it all except a few things I'd like to say, but won't
under the threat of being banned forever and ever.


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## SifuPhil (Mar 30, 2016)

Falcon said:


> Nothing else need be said Phil.  You've covered it all except a few things I'd like to say, but won't
> under the threat of being banned forever and ever.



Understood. 

Maybe you could PM me those other few things for my next song parody.


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## vickyNightowl (Mar 30, 2016)

Was this put in the humor section by mistake?


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## Arachne (Mar 30, 2016)

Flipping brilliant I loved it..well done..:woohoo1:


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## fureverywhere (Mar 30, 2016)

I'm just kind of trembling thinking of your face on Michael's body, but hey it could work, of course you don't want to break a hip moon walking...but great job


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## SifuPhil (Mar 30, 2016)

vickyNightowl said:


> Was this put in the humor section by mistake?



LOL - I'll never tell ... 



Arachne said:


> Flipping brilliant I loved it..well done..:woohoo1:



Thank you!



fureverywhere said:


> I'm just kind of trembling thinking of your face on Michael's body, but hey it could work, of course you don't want to break a hip moon walking...but great job


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## NancyNGA (Mar 30, 2016)

Love it, Phil! 

:lofl:


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## SifuPhil (Mar 30, 2016)

NancyNGA said:


> Love it, Phil!
> 
> :lofl:




Thank you!


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## tnthomas (Mar 30, 2016)

Good stuff! Thanks Phil !     :applouse:


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## SeaBreeze (Mar 30, 2016)

:lol:  Nice one Phil! :applause2:


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## SifuPhil (Mar 30, 2016)

tnthomas said:


> Good stuff! Thanks Phil !     :applouse:





SeaBreeze said:


> :lol:  Nice one Phil! :applause2:



Thank you, folks.


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## Butterfly (Apr 27, 2016)

SifuPhil said:


> *SF Thriller*
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Been smokin' those funny cigarettes again, Phil?


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## Redd (Apr 28, 2016)

:king: Phil, newly crowned King of Pop


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