# Ethical non-monogamy in seniors -  non-******



## Islandgypsy (Nov 15, 2019)

Wife and I are 73 and just recently retired. Moved to Florida and love it. We have met two lovely, lonely ladies who are still reeling from the loss of their husbands. To them, the single widow life does not look like the fun we foresaw in our golden years. What is the forum consensus on the idea of a couple adding a lady to their household if it brings improved enjoyment to all. And ignoring religious moral taboos.


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## raybar (Nov 15, 2019)

I would be very cautious adding someone to my household, especially someone I have only know a short time. But if you know her well enough, and you all get along, why not?


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## terry123 (Nov 15, 2019)

Use a ton of caution in my book.


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## CarolfromTX (Nov 15, 2019)

Be friends? Yes. Do things together? Sure! Anything else sounds like a recipe for disaster, one way or another.


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## Keesha (Nov 15, 2019)

Islandgypsy said:


> Wife and I are 73 and just recently retired. Moved to Florida and love it. We have met two lovely, lonely ladies who are still reeling from the loss of their husbands. To them, the single widow life does not look like the fun we foresaw in our golden years. What is the forum consensus on the idea of a couple adding a lady to their household if it brings improved enjoyment to all. And ignoring religious moral taboos.


I think it’s a disaster waiting to happen.


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## TravelinMan (Nov 15, 2019)

If you wouldn't let her hop into bed with you, better be cautious of letting her hop into your home.


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## Olivia (Nov 15, 2019)

Islandgypsy said:


> Wife and I are 73 and just recently retired. Moved to Florida and love it. We have met two lovely, lonely ladies who are still reeling from the loss of their husbands. To them, the single widow life does not look like the fun we foresaw in our golden years. What is the forum consensus on the idea of a couple adding a lady to their household if it brings improved enjoyment to all. And ignoring religious moral taboos.



What does your wife say? Does she know and like her and is your wife not the jealous type?


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## Islandgypsy (Nov 15, 2019)

Purely hypothetical. Not for me personally. Just thought it might reduce my chance of running out of clean socks. Joking


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## Olivia (Nov 15, 2019)

Islandgypsy said:


> Purely hypothetical. Not for me personally. Just thought it might reduce my chance of running out of clean socks. Joking



Right sure, just asking for a friend.


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## fuzzybuddy (Nov 15, 2019)

Islandgypsy said, "What is the forum consensus on the idea of a couple adding a lady to their household"? The forum aren't the ones with a new female in the place. If you and the women are content and happy with the arrangement, It doesn't matter what the forum thinks. You really didn't say what kind of relationship you and the women will be having. That is a mine field. Everyone is going to have expectations, and wants. 

Things have to be hammered out quite clearly. And not only do you have to accommodate today's expectations, and wants, but the needs of three aging adults.  If "Three's Company" meets all of the members needs, more power to you. But to be  honest, it sounds more like the first 20 minutes of a "Dateline" episode. But what do I know, I don't even have a cat anymore.


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## Keesha (Nov 15, 2019)

Olivia said:


> Right sure, just asking for a friend.


So nonchalant


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## Catlady (Nov 15, 2019)

ignoring religious moral taboos 





Islandgypsy said:


> Wife and I are 73 and just recently retired. Moved to Florida and love it. We have met two lovely, lonely ladies who are still reeling from the loss of their husbands. To them, the single widow life does not look like the fun we foresaw in our golden years. What is the forum consensus on the idea of a couple adding a lady to their household if it brings improved enjoyment to all. *And ignoring religious moral taboos.*



In your title you wrote "non-******'', yet in your post you wrote "ignoring religious moral taboos".  If it's non-****** why would there be moral taboos?  Care to explain?

Unless you're planning on dumping your wife, talk to her and make sure she's onboard with having the two women move in.  Even if you are not planning to, things can get complicated and misunderstandings will happen.  Thread carefully, non-****** and ****** harems can be explosive due to jealousy and manipulations.


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## Islandgypsy (Nov 15, 2019)

PVC said:


> ignoring religious moral taboos
> 
> In your title you wrote "non-******'', yet in your post you wrote "ignoring religious moral taboos".  If it's non-****** why would there be moral taboos?  Care to explain?
> 
> Unless you're planning on dumping your wife, talk to her and make sure she's onboard with having the two women move in.  Even if you are not planning to, things can get complicated and misunderstandings will happen.  Thread carefully, non-****** and ****** harems can be explosive due to jealousy and manipulations.


Judaism and Christian teachings instill monogamy in the minds of their followers. Again, not my personal plan. We live in a one bedroom condo with a full size bed. There would be no room for another butt. Originally I was mulling some possibl solutions for the huge number of lonely seniors, both men and women. Puritanical values shouldn’t be a cause for an unhappy life.


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## Catlady (Nov 15, 2019)

Islandgypsy said:


> Judaism and Christian teachings instill monogamy in the minds of their followers. Again, not my personal plan. We live in a one bedroom condo with a full size bed. There would be no room for another butt. Originally I was mulling *some possibl solutions for the huge number of lonely seniors, both men and women.* Puritanical values shouldn’t be a cause for an unhappy life.


Get a big house with lots of bedrooms and turn it into a boarding house?  Communal dining room and social gathering in the parlor? 

I don't understand what you're REALLY asking.  I thought you were asking if you could have a harem or some such thing by adding the ''two lovely lonely ladies'' to your household.  Sorry if I misunderstood you.


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## Aunt Bea (Nov 16, 2019)

IMO it would make more sense for your wife to move in with the two lovely lonely ladies and leave you out of it.

At 73 why complicate your life.


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## RedAlert (Nov 16, 2019)

More than one woman under the roof is always a problem regardless of age.
Do ask yourself and them this ....who is to take care of them in the event their  health turns for the worse? Other than that...go for it


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## Catlady (Nov 16, 2019)

Aunt Bea said:


> IMO it would make more sense for your wife to move in with the two lovely lonely ladies and leave you out of it.



No way, that would spoil HIS fun that he's fantasizing about.


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## Islandgypsy (Nov 16, 2019)

PVC said:


> No way, that would spoil HIS fun that he's fantasizing about.


I will certainly stay away from future posts that can be interpreted as targets for the moral police.


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## gennie (Nov 16, 2019)

Which do you have in mind, a geriatric "Three's Company" a "Golden Girls plus One"or a mini Playboy Mansion?


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## Catlady (Nov 16, 2019)

Islandgypsy said:


> I will certainly stay away from future posts that can be interpreted as targets for the moral police.


Why two women, why not two men?  Did you ask your wife what she prefers?  Is she onboard to allow these two women to move in?

What WE think is not important, what SHE thinks is very important.


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## RadishRose (Nov 16, 2019)

No kids involved; who cares?


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## Llynn (Nov 16, 2019)

Islandgypsy said:


> I will certainly stay away from future posts that can be interpreted as targets for the moral police.


Oh no. Please continue. You are endlessly amusing.


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## Sassycakes (Nov 16, 2019)

If it would be alright with the wife then I guess it would be OK. Of course it should work both ways. If a wife wanted to share their home with another man and her husband if he agreed would be ok. In my own case I don't believe my husband would agree to share our home with another man. My Husband likes to have control and it would be hard to have control over another man.


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## Islandgypsy (Nov 16, 2019)

Sassycakes said:


> If it would be alright with the wife then I guess it would be OK. Of course it should work both ways. If a wife wanted to share their home with another man and her husband if he agreed would be ok. In my own case I don't believe my husband would agree to share our home with another man. My Husband likes to have control and it would be hard to have control over another man.


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## Islandgypsy (Nov 16, 2019)

I understand it’s easier to ignore loneliness in old people rather than sympathize and want to help them. I understand some people see a sordid motive behind every sympathetic, loving jesture. I reread my post and still see no suggestion of ménage a trois. I titled my post “non-******”. And still some respond with answers to questions not asked and non-existent motives. I am Islandgypsy. Please don’t be harsh or mean to me. I wish to treat everyone with the same consideration.


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## Olivia (Nov 16, 2019)

Islandgypsy said:


> I understand it’s easier to ignore loneliness in old people rather than sympathize and want to help them. I understand some people see a sordid motive behind every sympathetic, loving jesture. I reread my post and still see no suggestion of ménage a trois. I titled my post “non-******”. And still some respond with answers to questions not asked and non-existent motives. I am Islandgypsy. Please don’t be harsh or mean to me. I wish to treat everyone with the same consideration.



The problem is you made it ambiguous especially when you said that you have only one bed and you couldn't fit another butt there. You're the one who brought up having a another person in bed with you and your wife, so if you made it perfectly clear in the first place as you just did about what you were suggesting, it wouldn't have come to folks taking it to a wrong conclusion.


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## Islandgypsy (Nov 16, 2019)

Thank you Olivia. My mistake to try to defend my original post. And I must have been ambiguous since not one respondent dealt with what I thought was my topic - an action that might help lonely old people.


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## StarSong (Nov 16, 2019)

IG, your posts are confusing.  If this is meant to be non-****** then what religious or moral taboos?  

If you're posing a general question about the possibility of adults successfully living together platonically to ease loneliness, share chores, and reduce living expenses, this is not a new concept. We call them roommates. Been around for a very long time. 

Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.


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## Olivia (Nov 16, 2019)

StarSong said:


> IG, your posts are confusing.  If this is meant to be non-****** then what religious or moral taboos?
> 
> If you're posing a general question about the possibility of adults successfully living together platonically to ease loneliness, share chores, and reduce living expenses, this is not a new concept. We call them roommates. Been around for a very long time.
> 
> Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.



Yes, of course. It's nothing new. That is why folks have been questioning what does he really mean.


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## Keesha (Nov 16, 2019)

Islandgypsy said:


> I will certainly stay away from future posts that can be interpreted as targets for the moral police.


So because you didn’t get the response you wanted you are going to play victim


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## gennie (Nov 16, 2019)

gennie said:


> Which do you have in mind, a geriatric "Three's Company" a "Golden Girls plus One"or a mini Playboy Mansion?


.


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## Packerjohn (Nov 16, 2019)

*Johnny  Horton* had a song that I pretty well agree with:
"Come to me baby,
Wouldn't you kind of hang around.
You know that I'll love you
And never let you down.
I'll never love another
even if I can.
Come to me baby,
I'm a one woman man".


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## Islandgypsy (Nov 16, 2019)

Kesha - so as a fellow Ontario Canadian might I ask how many times you’ve been divorced?


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## Keesha (Nov 16, 2019)

Islandgypsy said:


> Kesha - so as a fellow Ontario Canadian might I ask how many times you’ve been divorced?


Sure. Never!
Never married either. 
Ive lived happily in sin for over 30 years


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## Islandgypsy (Nov 16, 2019)

Packerjohn said:


> *Johnny  Horton* had a song that I pretty well agree with:
> "Come to me baby,
> Wouldn't you kind of hang around.
> You know that I'll love you
> ...


Sorry but the only Horton we Canadians idolize is Tim Horton


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## Islandgypsy (Nov 16, 2019)

gennie said:


> .


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## Packerjohn (Nov 16, 2019)

Islandgypsy said:


> Sorry but the only Horton we Canadians idolize is Tim Horton


Sometimes, I think that there must be some sort of drug in that awfully strong brew because they keep coming back again & again.  Can't understand why there are always  cars going around the take-out.  You can go to Costco & buy a 1.36 kg can & make a lot of coffee.  No body seems to have a relaxing cup of coffee at home anymore; except me that is.  Guess, I have always lived "outside the box".


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## Islandgypsy (Nov 16, 2019)

I like the Three’s Company” option. Not hoping to die from a heart embolism though, How could I remember that when I have no idea where I put my keys and wallet two minutes ago


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## Keesha (Nov 16, 2019)

Packerjohn said:


> Sometimes, I think that there must be some sort of drug in that awfully strong brew because they keep coming back again & again.  Can't understand why there are always  cars going around the take-out.  You can go to Costco & buy a 1.36 kg can & make a lot of coffee.  No body seems to have a relaxing cup of coffee at home anymore; except me that is.  Guess, I have always lived "outside the box".


Probably habit because McDonalds actually bought out Tim Hortons coffee supply so many switched. The others maybe haven’t figured it out yet. Who knows. People are funny creatures.


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## Islandgypsy (Nov 16, 2019)

Packerjohn said:


> Sometimes, I think that there must be some sort of drug in that awfully strong brew because they keep coming back again & again.  Can't understand why there are always  cars going around the take-out.  You can go to Costco & buy a 1.36 kg can & make a lot of coffee.  No body seems to have a relaxing cup of coffee at home anymore; except me that is.  Guess, I have always lived "outside the box".


In my small home town of Brantford, Ontario, you can usually see the next Tim Horton’s through the current Tim Hirton’s Window


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## Nautilus (Nov 16, 2019)

I read a lot of stories where someone (usually a woman) is brought into the househole for any number of reasons (nanny, cook, etc.) and where thing go south, you can't get her out...for years!  It's some kind of squatter's rights or whatever.  Good fences make good neighbors.


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## Aunt Bea (Nov 16, 2019)

The biggest problem for me is having three adults of any combination living together unless they can all be fairly independent and each have a private space to take refuge for a few hours every day.

It seems to me that even the simple decisions of daily life would often become a minor skirmish of 2 against 1.


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## Islandgypsy (Nov 16, 2019)

And so, we continue to not address the misery of loneliness for our senior citizens. What is the law- not to walk on all fours. What is the law- not to spill blood. What is the law-  not to eat meat. But we can’t figure an effective way to deal with loneliness. And no forum member has a thought or suggestion ? Mine was shot down. Any others ??????


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## Catlady (Nov 16, 2019)

Islandgypsy said:


> And so, we continue to not address the misery of loneliness for our senior citizens. What is the law- not to walk on all fours. What is the law- not to spill blood. What is the law-  not to eat meat. *But we can’t figure an effective way to deal with loneliness. And no forum member has a thought or suggestion ? Mine was shot down.* Any others ??????


I gave you a suggestion, but I'm assuming you didn't like it?

Post #14 =  *Get a big house with lots of bedrooms and turn it into a boarding house?  Communal dining room and social gathering in the parlor? *


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## Aunt Bea (Nov 16, 2019)

I don't think that loneliness is a problem that we can diagnose or solve for another person.

About all, we can do is talk with people and let them tell us what they feel is missing from their lives.

There is a big difference between being alone and being lonely.

I'm alone most of the time and don't get lonely, I do get bored though.

If a person is lonely it is up to them to get out and socialize or move to a place where they can surround themselves with other people.


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## RadishRose (Nov 16, 2019)

Join a club, volunteer, move to a senior community with a clubhouse and activities, reach out more, get a part time job, foster a kitten, get involved with local politics, go back to school or take some fun courses, join your senior center and go to casinos, etc.


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## Pepper (Nov 16, 2019)

Friends of the Friendless


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## Islandgypsy (Nov 16, 2019)

PVC said:


> I gave you a suggestion, but I'm assuming you didn't like it?
> 
> Post #14 =  *Get a big house with lots of bedrooms and turn it into a boarding house?  Communal dining room and social gathering in the parlor? *


Sounds like a clothing optional place we stayed in Key West. Free happy hour 5-6 daily and Sunday we went to gay bingo on Duval St. not a single lonely person in that hotel. Marrero House???


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## gennie (Nov 16, 2019)

Islandgypsy said:


> Sorry but the only Horton we Canadians idolize is Tim Horton



Tim Horton makes a fine cup of coffee.


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## Ruthanne (Nov 16, 2019)

I know if I was married I would not like to have another woman living with us.  I  like to be the "woman of the house!"


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## Butterfly (Nov 17, 2019)

Islandgypsy said:


> I understand it’s easier to ignore loneliness in old people rather than sympathize and want to help them. I understand some people see a sordid motive behind every sympathetic, loving jesture. I reread my post and still see no suggestion of ménage a trois. I titled my post “non-******”. And still some respond with answers to questions not asked and non-existent motives. I am Islandgypsy. Please don’t be harsh or mean to me. I wish to treat everyone with the same consideration.




I think it was your use of the term "non-monogamy" that caused people to react.  It strongly suggests something other than just having roommates.


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## Mike (Nov 17, 2019)

Loud alarm bells ringing here!

The more I look to the future in this scenario, all I see
is a disaster sometime in the future, possibly caused
by a misunderstanding by one of the trio involved.

Mike.


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## Lakeland living (Nov 17, 2019)

Wow, talk about a magnet.....lol


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## Ken N Tx (Nov 17, 2019)

Mike said:


> Loud alarm bells ringing here!
> 
> The more I look to the future in this scenario, all I see
> is a disaster sometime in the future, possibly caused
> ...


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## treeguy64 (Nov 17, 2019)

No way, José!

Living as a trio, been there, done that: It doesn't stay non-******, for long. 

If you're a couple, and then take on a roommate, one of the couple members will start coupling with the new kid in town, in fairly short order. If everyone is cool with that, I guess that's fine.


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## StarSong (Nov 17, 2019)

Islandgypsy said:


> And so, we continue to not address the misery of loneliness for our senior citizens. What is the law- not to walk on all fours. What is the law- not to spill blood. What is the law-  not to eat meat. But we can’t figure an effective way to deal with loneliness. And no forum member has a thought or suggestion ? Mine was shot down. Any others ??????





RadishRose said:


> Join a club, volunteer, move to a senior community with a clubhouse and activities, reach out more, get a part time job, foster a kitten, get involved with local politics, go back to school or take some fun courses, join your senior center and go to casinos, etc.


We cannot solve other people's loneliness, but can encourage them to find people to befriend.  If they're recently widowed it's going to take a while to get their footing.  Sunbelt states, particularly Florida, abound with every possible incarnation of communal living.  

Rose and others have it right.  There are plenty of antidotes to loneliness but all require stepping into the batter's box and occasionally swinging at an incoming pitch.


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## Islandgypsy (Nov 17, 2019)

StarSong said:


> We cannot solve other people's loneliness, but can encourage them to find people to befriend.  If they're recently widowed it's going to take a while to get their footing.  Sunbelt states, particularly Florida, abound with every possible incarnation of communal living.
> 
> Rose and others have it right.  There are plenty of antidotes to loneliness but all require stepping into the batter's box and occasionally swinging at an incoming pitch.


But that solution can only work for those who recognize and admit their loneliness is something they have the power to correct. Should we disqualify the others from our sympathy and eagerness to act as a one world loving community ?


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## StarSong (Nov 17, 2019)

Islandgypsy said:


> But that solution can only work for those who recognize and admit their loneliness is something they have the power to correct. Should we disqualify the others from our sympathy and eagerness to act as a one world loving community ?


Then you're talking about situations beyond my expertise and probably yours, too.  That's what grief counselors and therapists are for.


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## gennie (Nov 17, 2019)

Combating loneliness is primarily a do-it-yourself job.  Things, circumstances and other people can help but mature self-supporting adults should never put their happiness in someone else's hands - not even a spouse. The only exception might be one's own dependent children or parents.


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## Islandgypsy (Nov 17, 2019)

gennie said:


> Combating loneliness is primarily a do-it-yourself job.  Things, circumstances and other people can help but mature self-supporting adults should never put their happiness in someone else's hands - not even a spouse. The only exception might be one's own dependent children or parents.


I’m only suggesting we should be welcoming members of our senior society and be willing to extend a loving hand to seniors who are depressed and lonely. I see so few people willing to expose themselves to ridicule by others for reaching out. Admittedly, at 73 and living in Florida, I see more of this than many here on this site.


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## StarSong (Nov 17, 2019)

Being welcoming and extending a loving hand is far different from moving them into your home.  

Are people you know really ridiculed for reaching out? Can't say that's something I've seen or experienced.


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## Islandgypsy (Nov 17, 2019)

StarSong said:


> Being welcoming and extending a loving hand is far different from moving them into your home.
> 
> Are people you know really ridiculed for reaching out? Can't say that's something I've seen or experienced.


Sorry, perhaps my original post was exactly suggesting that some senior couples could buck the illogical moral police and actually think “outside the box” about being more humane. It’s a mammoth situation in senior rich Florida. I’d love to hear another viable option than ignoring them and telling them to get off their butts.


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## AnnieA (Nov 17, 2019)

Butterfly said:


> I think it was your use of the term "non-monogamy" that caused people to react.  It strongly suggests something other than just having roommates.



Yep.  The thread title is a study in vocabularic gymnastics ...and flopping off the balance beam ass over teakettle comes to mind.


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## Llynn (Nov 17, 2019)

Are you sure you have room for another person there under your bridge?


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## Meanderer (Nov 17, 2019)

Bye, Bob!


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## Meanderer (Nov 17, 2019)

Islandgypsy said:


> "....I see so few people willing to expose themselves...."


Glad to hear it!


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## Keesha (Nov 17, 2019)

Islandgypsy said:


> But that solution can only work for those who recognize and admit their loneliness is something they have the power to correct. Should we disqualify the others from our sympathy and eagerness to act as a one world loving community ?


Your ideals sound too cult like.


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## Islandgypsy (Nov 17, 2019)

Keesha said:


> Your ideals sound too cult like.


Have you read this month’s “Watchtower” ??? Trying to be a loving person is abnormal for sure. Would I make sense if I admitted 12 years in federal prison for stuffing guinea pigs up gay men’s ..... followed by controlled heroin addiction withdrawal ?


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## Butterfly (Nov 17, 2019)

Islandgypsy said:


> But that solution can only work for those who recognize and admit their loneliness is something they have the power to correct. Should we disqualify the others from our sympathy and eagerness to act as a one world loving community ?



Personally, I don't think it is anybody else's beeswax to decide someone else is lonely and take steps to "fix" it.  There's a difference between being lonely and being alone.  My response to someone who tried "fixing" my life would be "Keep your nose out of my business; if I wanted your help I would ask for it."


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## Ladybj (Nov 17, 2019)

Is it possible your wife and the ladies could be friends without them moving in?   Having them move in may be more than you and your wife expected and not in a good way.


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## Butterfly (Nov 17, 2019)

Islandgypsy said:


> Sorry, perhaps my original post was exactly suggesting that some senior couples could buck the illogical moral police and actually think “outside the box” about being more humane. It’s a mammoth situation in senior rich Florida. I’d love to hear another viable option than ignoring them and telling them to get off their butts.



You still haven't stated the nature of the relationship you envision between you and these other women.  If it is a legit roommate arrangement, how would that be bucking "the illogical moral police?"  Now, if you envision a "non-monogamous" ****** relationship between/among those  upon whom you wish to impose your "humane" solution, that's a whole different kettle of fish.  If you envision a simple roommate situation, why would you characterize it as "non-monogamous," which strongly implies your contemplation of a ****** relationship?   You could have boarders and still be in a committed monogamous relationship with your wife.

ALSO, I find it a bit arrogant of you to decide for the women that you are the solution to their problems.  It is also quite disrespectful and dismissive of older/widowed women to assume that they need a man or a non-monogamous relationship to set their lives right.


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## Islandgypsy (Nov 17, 2019)

Butterfly said:


> You still haven't stated the nature of the relationship you envision between you and these other women.  If it is a legit roommate arrangement, how would that be bucking "the illogical moral police?"  Now, if you envision a "non-monogamous" ****** relationship between/among those  upon whom you wish to impose your "humane" solution, that's a whole different kettle of fish.  If you envision a simple roommate situation, why would you characterize it as "non-monogamous," which strongly implies your contemplation of a ****** relationship?   You could have boarders and still be in a committed monogamous relationship with your wife.
> 
> ALSO, I find it a bit arrogant of you to decide for the women that you are the solution to their problems.  It is also quite disrespectful and dismissive of older/widowed women to assume that they need a man or a non-monogamous relationship to set their lives right.


I see it as a help for lonely men as well and perhaps dogs and cats. I described no arrogant solution, only offered the topic up for discussion. But clearly to me, lonely unhappy men and women seniors are people that pique my extreme sympathy. Again, only raised the topic for discussion hoping to shed some light on the magnitude of this situation as our retiree society grows. I prefer to be happy, not sad. Am I imposing my values on others by wanting them to be happy. Yes I am.


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## Llynn (Nov 17, 2019)

You want to make me happy Island Boy? Then pack up your nonsense and take a hike back to Troll Land.


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## RadishRose (Nov 17, 2019)

Alright you've made your point. Now it's all become repetition. Take in your friends and be happy.


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## Islandgypsy (Nov 17, 2019)

RadishRose said:


> Alright you've made your point. Now it's all become repetition. Take in your friends and be happy.


TY Rose


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## gennie (Nov 17, 2019)

I hate to be crude but maybe this is meant to be a situation somewhat like a rooster or bull servicing their flock or herd.  I imagine some of their servicing must also be of a sympathetic gesture.


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## Ladybj (Nov 17, 2019)

Islandgypsy said:


> I see it as a help for lonely men as well and perhaps dogs and cats. I described no arrogant solution, only offered the topic up for discussion. But clearly to me, lonely unhappy men and women seniors are people that pique my extreme sympathy. Again, only raised the topic for discussion hoping to shed some light on the magnitude of this situation as our retiree society grows. I prefer to be happy, not sad. Am I imposing my values on others by wanting them to be happy. Yes I am.


Happiness comes from within... not looking for others to bring us happiness.  That type of happiness does not last long.  It's like buying a new car, the thrill wears off pretty quick.  And then we find something else to fill that happiness gap.  So glad I learned that my happiness depends on my inner self.  If you like it and your wife love it and the other ladies are all for it... then that's what matters.. regardless how it turns out.


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## norman (Nov 18, 2019)

Islandgypsy said:


> Wife and I are 73 and just recently retired. Moved to Florida and love it. We have met two lovely, lonely ladies who are still reeling from the loss of their husbands. To them, the single widow life does not look like the fun we foresaw in our golden years. What is the forum consensus on the idea of a couple adding a lady to their household if it brings improved enjoyment to all. And ignoring religious moral taboos.


Sounds like a threesum to me...  Don't think I could handle two women anymore..go for it.


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## Sunny (Nov 18, 2019)

Why not?  If all three are happy with their arrangement, that's all that matters.


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## fmdog44 (Nov 18, 2019)

The OP does not mention how long they have known the person. Weird.


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## Islandgypsy (Nov 18, 2019)

OP here. Don’t know the person. Was an observation of two lonely widows. My poor wording suggested to many, a scenario not intended. Please let my poorly worded post expire it’s due death.


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## DaveA (Nov 18, 2019)

Ruthanne said:


> I know if I was married I would not like to have another woman living with us.  I  like to be the "woman of the house!"


Possibly another man??  How 'bout that scenario?


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## Islandgypsy (Nov 18, 2019)

DaveA said:


> Possibly another man??  How 'bout that scenario?


I have a 74 year old transgender brother. He has become bothe the man and woman of his house


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## Keesha (Nov 18, 2019)

DaveA said:


> Possibly another man??  How 'bout that scenario?


Yeah! Like ONE isn’t enough.


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## Ruthanne (Nov 18, 2019)

DaveA said:


> Possibly another man??  How 'bout that scenario?


I don't know if I could deal with the hurt feelings and jealousy that could arise.


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## Olivia (Nov 18, 2019)

Nautilus said:


> I read a lot of stories where someone (usually a woman) is brought into the househole for any number of reasons (nanny, cook, etc.) and where thing go south, you can't get her out...for years!  It's some kind of squatter's rights or whatever.  Good fences make good neighbors.



And often enough it becomes a slave scenario.


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## Islandgypsy (Nov 18, 2019)

Olivia said:


> And often enough it becomes a slave scenario.


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## Islandgypsy (Nov 18, 2019)

I’m thinking if I post again it should be in Klingon. Easier for some ladies to comprehend .


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## Islandgypsy (Nov 18, 2019)

Islandgypsy said:


> I’m thinking if I post again it should be in Klingon. Easier for some ladies to comprehend .


And the results are in -  it’s a bad idea, it leads to slavery, it must be ******, it’s abusive to women, and a southern lady used and spelled a 5 syllable word correctly.I thank all my contributors for their compassion and willingness to help others in need.


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## Pepper (Nov 18, 2019)

Islandgypsy said:


> I’m thinking if I post again it should be in Klingon. Easier for some ladies to comprehend .


Patak!  Obviously, you are suffering b'aka.  No need to take that out on "ladies," ghuy'cha'.


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## Chris P Bacon (Feb 16, 2022)

I was wondering if there was a topic about monogamy and it appears that there is, even though the OP is long gone and the last comments made were some time ago. Be that as it may, however, how do you all feel about monogamy? Is it necessary, especially once one has passed the age where new children would be a possible consequence? It would, of course, be a consensual agreement and not something unknown to one of the partners. And it wouldn't need to be a live in arrangement either. I'm just curious as to what other thoughts might be on such things. As each day goes by, I just seem to get curiouser and curiouser! Thanks, in advance, for sharing your thoughts and withholding your judgements.


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## RFW (Feb 16, 2022)

If you have my heart, I have yours and I ain't sharin'.


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## Chris P Bacon (Feb 16, 2022)

RFW said:


> If you have my heart, I have yours and I ain't sharin'.


Then what you mention doesn't fit the criteria for "consensual"
and it's not non-monogamy either, I'd say.


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## RFW (Feb 16, 2022)

Chris P Bacon said:


> Then what you mention doesn't fit the criteria for "consensual"


Nope. I just felt like I wanted to mention it anyway.


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## Jan14 (Feb 16, 2022)

Olivia said:


> What does your wife say? Does she know and like her and is your wife not the jealous type?


Have you watched Sister Wives lately?   If you have a good marriage I would leave things alone.


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## RFW (Feb 16, 2022)

In all honesty, on the outside looking in, I think it's kind of unfair for a person to not receive all the love and attention from their lover(s). Of course, I'd assume there are people that are completely content with however much love they receive. It's inevitable that there are times when one person is more preferable than the other.

Now, I don't know how polygamy works. Is there one main person and the others are secondary? Do they switch roles? Thinking about it makes my head hurt.


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## terry123 (Feb 16, 2022)

RFW said:


> If you have my heart, I have yours and I ain't sharin'.


Same here!


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## JaniceM (Feb 17, 2022)

Chris P Bacon said:


> I was wondering if there was a topic about monogamy and it appears that there is, even though the OP is long gone and the last comments made were some time ago. Be that as it may, however, how do you all feel about monogamy? Is it necessary, especially once one has passed the age where new children would be a possible consequence? It would, of course, be a consensual agreement and not something unknown to one of the partners. And it wouldn't need to be a live in arrangement either. I'm just curious as to what other thoughts might be on such things. As each day goes by, I just seem to get curiouser and curiouser! Thanks, in advance, for sharing your thoughts and withholding your judgements.


I just noticed this thread, as it appeared in the General Discussions section.  Hadn't seen it before.  

First thing I noticed was in the first post essentially claiming any moral objections or 'taboos' must be connected to religion.  Bunk.  Second thing I noticed was last sentence in CPB's post-  if considering objections to be 'judgment,' you don't really want everybody's 'thoughts.'  

Also, re: the OP-  certainly was a negative lil individual, wasn't he.


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## Alligatorob (Feb 17, 2022)

This is an old thread, anyone know what happened with @Islandgypsy the OP?  Seems to be gone.  Knowing if it happened and how it worked out would be interesting...


Islandgypsy said:


> if it brings improved enjoyment to all.


That seems to me to be the key, but getting there would be hard.


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## Medusa (Mar 25, 2022)

@fuzzybuddy, I am polyamorous, practice ethical non-monogamy and have to wholeheartdly endorse what you've written here:  _"Everyone is going to have expectations, and wants.  Things have to be hammered out quite clearly."_
It can and often is a difficult and tricksy arrangement to maintain and initial, agreed-upon parameters are crucial. It's worth it when and for as long as it works for everyone involved, however. _So _worth it.


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## Trish (Mar 25, 2022)

You're kidding!  I wouldn't share my shoes let alone my man!!!!


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## jujube (Mar 25, 2022)

The Chinese ideogram for "trouble" consists of an ideogram for a house with two female symbols  under the roof.  

I think it would be the same with two males in the house.  I have enough trouble dealing with the ONE I have.  The last thing I want is another one.


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## Alligatorob (Mar 25, 2022)

Medusa said:


> I am polyamorous, practice ethical non-monogamy


I don't believe I have ever known a polyamorous person.  I would find it very interesting to hear more, as much as you are comfortable sharing anyway.

I ask from a very non-judgmental point of view.


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## Medusa (Mar 25, 2022)

Chris P Bacon said:


> I was wondering if there was a topic about monogamy and it appears that there is, even though the OP is long gone and the last comments made were some time ago. Be that as it may, however, how do you all feel about monogamy? Is it necessary, especially once one has passed the age where new children would be a possible consequence? It would, of course, be a consensual agreement and not something unknown to one of the partners. And it wouldn't need to be a live in arrangement either. I'm just curious as to what other thoughts might be on such things. As each day goes by, I just seem to get curiouser and curiouser! Thanks, in advance, for sharing your thoughts and withholding your judgements.


No, it wouldn't and sometimes isn't a live-in arrangement. Mine isn't and it's worked quite well for all of us.  Where non-manogamy is concerned I think the snowflake metaphor applies.


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## Medusa (Mar 25, 2022)

Alligatorob said:


> I don't believe I have ever known a polyamorous person.  I would find it very interesting to hear more, as much as you are comfortable sharing anyway.
> 
> I ask from a very non-judgmental point of view.


Well, I'm glad you specified your non-judgemental view because I was really worried about your opinion of my personal life for a sec there.    (I'm teasing you, Alligator ♥)

Catch me in the next Coffee Klatch, (which is Wednesday, 03.30.22) and we'll chat about it with the group, if you like.


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