# Most important piece of advice you would give someone...



## Shouldntbhere (Nov 26, 2012)

Hello, my name is Jahlil and I'm 24 years old. 

I guess I'm going through a quarter life crisis or maybe I'm just awakening, but recently I'm having a hard time understanding the point to things. Growing up I felt the priority to life was to make as much money as possible, buying a huge home and a nice car and I'll live happily ever after.
Now I'm seeing having money as my priority is just killing me and will lead me to a life of chasing something with no end…. I sometimes get caught up in having fun, then I get scared thinking "geez I really need to think about my future"….
I have no one I can go to for advice and walking to work today something told me to search the web and I fell onto this forum….

What is the once piece of advice you'll give someone that you've learned from your life?


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## Elzee (Nov 26, 2012)

My goodness, you have that understanding at only 24 years old. That is quite an insight for someone so young. Money is important as it is needed to pay the bills and keep a roof over your head and put food on the table. It is aslo nice to be able to live in a comfortable and enjoyable home. 

But, the journey is just as important as the destination. There is no point in working long hours to be able to afford a big and beautiful home if you are never home long enough to enjoy it. Better to live in a smaller home, work less hours and enjoy your cozy home. 

Goals are important and working towards achieving those goals can indeed be worthwhile. But today is important as well. Making the most of today, and living in the moment is also important.


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## Shouldntbhere (Nov 26, 2012)

Thanks for the response Elzee!

Society makes its so hard, especially living in NY. all your hear about is money and working in my field (finance) doesn't help lol. 
I help many people who are 80+ with hundreds of thousands and some even millions in their accounts! But they just seem so miserable!!! All they care about is their balance.... that never changes!!!


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## SifuPhil (Nov 26, 2012)

Hi Jahlil

I was born and raised in NY and lived in The City for 7 years, from 18 to 25. I was making obscene amounts of money and spending it just as quickly on rent, toys and maintaining "the lifestyle". I was a clothes-horse - couldn't go out without my Calvin and Cardin - and I dropped large bundles on the ladies.

Then it hit me - I wasn't really happy, and I wasn't really getting any closer to my spiritual goals.

Here I am over 25 years later. I made the decision to pursue happiness and knowledge, but without the attendent stress and competitiveness. As a result I'm living in a nothing little town in PA where they shut off the street lamps at 6PM; I'm living hand-to-mouth, a day at a time, with no retirement fund, no pension and no insurance; I have nobody that can do anything if I suddenly drop dead. 

But you know what? I don't regret a moment of it. I'm doing what I love even though I'm not getting rich at it, but I have zero stress and I get to laugh at the "rich" folks that are in reality quite poor.

Good luck my friend - may you make the right choices. You've already shown you're intuitive enough to ask the question - now you just have to have the courage to make a decision.


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## Shouldntbhere (Nov 27, 2012)

Thanks for the wise words SifuPhil. 
I guess that is a fear I have, embedded in me without me knowing. My mother always complained about how broke she was and how many bills needed to be paid. Its hard to turn a blind eye to all these things society says I should be worrying about. It feels like I'm living my life based on someone elses rules at times.


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## SeaBreeze (Nov 27, 2012)

In my opinion, buying an expensive car or huge fancy house should never be a priority, just look at the rich celebrities, the majority of them don't seem very happy to me, many commit suicide.  I don't know any eighty year olds with millions of dollars, but the ones with less have to keep a close watch on their money because if they encounter a serious health issue, the funds may be needed for successful treatment.

I think you should definitely make the most of your life now, as you'll never get those years back.  It's responsible to always have some type of savings account though, you never know what the future may bring, and it's a smart thing to do.  Don't put too much thought to society's expectations, but it's worth listening to everything your mom had to say, the best teachers are the ones with experience.

All the rules are connected, money can't buy you happiness, but if you don't have enough to feed yourself and your future family and pay your bills, her words will live in your mind forever.  It appears that you have a great start in life, my advice is not to go to the extreme either way financially, don't save every penny where you're not enjoying the present and devoting all your energy to preparing for the future...but don't waste it all on things that are not only overpriced, but won't last.


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## Ozarkgal (Dec 19, 2012)

I have given this thread some thought and the biggest conclusion I have come to is that I was stupid with my money when 
l was younger.  We have become a retail driven society, that literally brain washes people, starting from toddlers, into thinking they have to have the ''newest, greatest" widget and doohickey  that gets put on the market.  In reality, who needs  new car every two years, new expensive electronics every year, toys for kids that cost $200 a pop, 3500 and up square foot homes, etc.  Living in large cities, shopping, restaurants and expensive entertainment venues have been elevated to a national pastime, promoted constantly by in your face brain dead, brain washing TV commercials.

If I had all the money I spent on menusha over my lifetime, that I just had to have,  I would be more than on easy street right now.  As it is, because we fell for a lot of the hype in our youth, retirement money is tight.  Having said that, downsizing and moving to a rural area where we are not unindated with the hype, is the best thing we ever did. When we made our move, at least half of our possessions and almost almost all our expensive furniture was sold or donated to Goodwill or women's shelters.  Of the remaining half,  I still have about half too much, and really no one to leave it to.  So what the he** did I need to work hard and spend my money on for all this crap in the first place?  Isn't hindsight is soooo 20/20?

If we had it to do all over again, we would have moved to the country when we were younger and had much more peace of mind.  We may not have been as financially well off, but as it turns out, it probably wouldn't have mattered anyway.  I'ts just that we could have had much less stress in our lives.

Now, we have no TV, use a Roku player to stream movies and news from the internet. Our main shopping is done on the internet and the local market, supplemented by Walmart and the local farm co-op.  Our entertainment consists of the simple pleasures of prowling the numerous antique shops in this area, fishing, hiking in the woods, target practicing, sitting on the porch watching the creek flow by and seeing the wildlife that come to drink and Great Blue Herons that come to fish.  We have campfire cookouts in our back yard frequently.  There is no expensive restaurant that can compare with a simple meal of sausage and beans cooked over a campfire, (last night's dinner) enjoyed with a cold beer (or shot of good Canadian whiskey if the weather's cold).   We have never in our lives experienced such peace of mind, closeness to nature and appreciation for every day we are given. We have truly been blessed to live in such a place.

So, I guess my answer to the OP's question is not to fall for all the commercial hype designed to separate you from your hard earned $$.  It is important to earn money when you are young, but just really think of how hard you work to get that money when you reach for your wallet. Spend wisely, don't let the commercial vultures separate you from it. Always keep foremost in mind that you will likely reach a point in your life when you want to slow down or retire.  Pay yourself first so you will be at least reasonably comfortable when the time comes.  

Also, it's easy to say work in a job you love and the money will follow.  In reality, only a lucky few are able to make this happen.  Most of us have a workaday job that we are happy to retire from.  My mantra when I was working was to work hard  and focus on the job, then leave it there when I walked out the door at the end of the day.  This goes a long way in helping to manage stress.

Good luck to you in finding your comfort zone and peace of mind. I know that there is so much more stress and pressure in the workforce today than when I started out.

Sorry for such a long winded post.


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## Ryder13 (Jan 1, 2013)

SifuPhil said:


> Hi Jahlil
> 
> I was born and raised in NY and lived in The City for 7 years, from 18 to 25. I was making obscene amounts of money and spending it just as quickly on rent, toys and maintaining "the lifestyle". I was a clothes-horse - couldn't go out without my Calvin and Cardin - and I dropped large bundles on the ladies.
> 
> ...


Interesting. I think I am a bit older than you and I recently decided that some of the tradeoffs re work and stress and all that were just not worth it.

I am getting by day by day, watch money constantly but I am not commuting now, and I like that since it is full winter here in Ontario where I am. I commuted for most of the last 15-16 years. I worked about seven of the last 12 Christmas days. I worked nights and graveyard. I am now feeling way too old for that crap. I did it did the grind did the routine for years and years.

Got a stress related illness at one point that almost killed me. Smoked too much - I guess smoking cigarettes at all is too much but I was about one pack a day for years. 
Put a lot of that behind me.
Happy 2013 Sifu
Ryder13


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## Dorothy (Jan 3, 2013)

Elzee said:


> My goodness, you have that understanding at only 24 years old. That is quite an insight for someone so young. Money is important as it is needed to pay the bills and keep a roof over your head and put food on the table. It is aslo nice to be able to live in a comfortable and enjoyable home.
> 
> But, the journey is just as important as the destination. There is no point in working long hours to be able to afford a big and beautiful home if you are never home long enough to enjoy it. Better to live in a smaller home, work less hours and enjoy your cozy home.
> 
> Goals are important and working towards achieving those goals can indeed be worthwhile. But today is important as well. Making the most of today, and living in the moment is also important.




This is so true, there is you answer shouldntbhere, I could not of said it any better myself, very good advise here.


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## esmith (Jan 7, 2013)

Balancing making money, and being proud of what you do, with a worthwhile life, can be done.  No one ever said making money, having money or nice things is wrong.  When that becomes and end unto itself, then it's time to sit down and take a look at your life, but you are already doing that.  At 24, you seem to have a good grip on life.  When you question meaning, you are on the right path.  I began to do that at age 16.  Sometimes we can over-think life. While making money and enjoying yourself, perhaps you can add some volunteering. Taking the focus off oneself, can give you a more balanced life.  Share your good life.  Find what interests you, and go do it.
If reading is important, then look into literacy groups in your area.  They can often match you with a student to tutor.  Serve at a homeless shelter, or read to a group of children in a school or library setting.  In other words, you already sound like you have a good life -that's a good thing. Start from there and share yourself.  Know one thing, you are on the right.  Love who you are, right at this moment, for who you are is terrific.


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## That Guy (Apr 12, 2013)

My advice to anyone who will listen is to relax and be nice to each other.


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## Knightofalbion (Apr 13, 2013)

Listen to (and follow) your heart...


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## FishWisher (Apr 13, 2013)

Go fishing. And if the fish ignore you, be thankful. That means the fishing gods want you to drink beer while listening to Dolly and Merle. Go with the flow. Life is good.


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## That Guy (Apr 13, 2013)

I'm so bad at catching fish that it's more like feeding them . .     Best advice, FishWisher!  Go with the flow.


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## Happyflowerlady (Apr 18, 2013)

There is just a lot of good wisdom in all the above posts, and I believe that if you take what seems important to you, and apply it to your life, you will be happy with the result.
I look back on my life, and my only wish is that I had spent more time with my family. My mom and dad have been gone a long time now, but there are still so many things that I wish we had talked about when they were here. And it is not that I wasn't close to my parents, or didn't spend time with them, but once someone you love is gone from this earth, you never get them back , so make the most of the time you have, not just with family,but with whomever you come to love in your life . Give freely of yourself to your loved ones. You can't control how much they love you, only how well you love them.
Make good memories.  Take pictures and save them so you have something to remind you of the good times.

Life is a journey. There will be hills and there will be valleys. When you are struggling up the hill, remember that the valley will be coming, just keep going until you get there, and don't give up. The next valley may be the best one of your life.
And whatever is your view of God, thank Him for your blessings...


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## rkunsaw (Apr 19, 2013)

You've got some good advice already. I'll just add some that i see in other young folks.

Don't be one of the " I want it now" generation. If you want a new car for instance, buy an old one you can pay cash for then put money aside until you can buy the new one.

 I won't say don't use credit cards because they are almost essential in today's world, but use them wisely. don't buy more than you can pay off every month. Any interest or fees you pay is money you are giving to someone else that could have been yours.

Most young people don't even consider what you already have. You're off to a great start. Good luck/


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## Ozarkgal (Apr 19, 2013)

Keeping a clear balance between work and home and creating a drama free, harmonious personal life was a key to survival for me. It allows you to accomplish goals in both areas, without pressure from both sides at once. My jobs were management in nature, and I learned quickly that the fast track to burn out and failure was obsessing about work at home..Or visa versa. 

Also, solving problems as soon as possible, and not allowing them to linger and zap energy worrying about them, is paramount to achieving harmony. 
But then, I'm a Libra and things MUST BALANCE!!!:daz:


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## That Guy (Apr 19, 2013)

LOOK OUT!  That's always popular advice...


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## Knightofalbion (Apr 20, 2013)

Practical advice:

Always keep something in reserve


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## Amethyst1 (Apr 29, 2013)

Many people will give you specific advice for decisions, They may mean well
but most of them will not be very informed or knowledgeable, and have their own self interests or personal motives.
Some will be knowledgeable but they won't really care about you or your life.
You should try to accept advice from people who both care about you and are very well informed about
the decision of issue involved. This will be your best advice. Hold onto that person because he or she is hard to find.
I know this from hard long experience.


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## Planxty (Apr 29, 2013)

There`s them that know, and there`s them that dont know. And there`s them, that dont know, that they dont know.


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## cmillken (May 3, 2013)

My greatest piece of advice I could give someone would be to take school seriously. The amount of success achieved in school impacts how financially successful you will be in life. Going to college really does improve your chances of getting a good, high paying job. This in turn aids in successfully raising a family. It's hard to raise a family while living paycheck to paycheck.


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## That Guy (May 4, 2013)

I agree with taking school seriously.  I didn't until I actually wanted to learn something.  No matter what anyone says, education is a good thing regardless of the job stuff.  Just become a well-rounded critical thinker and life will improve immensely.


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