# How do you schedule Xmas gatherings with loved ones?



## Ronni (Dec 10, 2021)

I miss when the kids were little and Christmas morning they'd get up at the crack of dawn and race into the den to see what Santa brought them and we'd just spend the day together!  Then when they got older but were still living at home it would be more leisurely, but we were still all together.

These days, Christmas is a mad jumble of scheduling!

After a lot of back and forth with all our kids, who also have to consult with spouses or significant others (and in Ron's kids case, their mother) as to their family's schedules, Christmas for us is going to span 2 days this year.  Ron and I always have a private Christmas eve, just the two of us. We have a glass of wine, a small charcuterie board, and exchange a gift each. Then Christmas mid-morning, we'll go to my daughter's house and gather with her and the rest of her siblings. 

But we won't get to see Ron's girls and their kids till the day after Christmas because of various scheduling conflicts they have with significant others and those families, combined with their Mother who is being completely inflexible about when she wants them to come over. I wish I knew why she was like that.  She's just nasty about it.  "Well, if you can't come over at X time, then we just won't get together this year."  It's upsetting to the girls and frustrating for us.  She doesn't work and doesn't gather with her husband's family, at any time over Christmas (lots of family dysfunction on his side) so I don't understand why she can't be more accommodating.  

So how do YOU navigate Christmas scheduling?


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## terry123 (Dec 10, 2021)

Since my kids are grown and only one lives close its easier.  My daughter will come over with food and the grands for a meal and presents.  Will visit with brother and sis by phone.  Years ago when I was married it was hectic trying to spend time with both sets of relatives.


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## Ronni (Dec 10, 2021)

terry123 said:


> Since my kids are grown and only one lives close its easier.  My daughter will come over with food and the grands for a meal and presents.  Will visit with brother and sis by phone.  Years ago when I was married it was hectic trying to spend time with both sets of relatives.


Hectic!  Yeah that’s a perfect word to describe the scramble!


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## JustBonee (Dec 10, 2021)

My  older kids live out of town,  and state.   When they can come for a visit,  it's a nice gathering,   no matter what time of the year it is.  
Same with the grown grandkids  who live some distance away.  

Scheduling a holiday gathering  is rare,   so when they  _ALL _  came to town for a surprise 75th birthday party for me,   I was totally blown away!


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## RadishRose (Dec 10, 2021)

These past years it's very different; no more huge gatherings with friends and their Italian feasts, family, etc.

Family gone; I only have one child and his little family so they come over Christmas Eve for food and gifts and that's it. No complaints it's enough.


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## Pepper (Dec 10, 2021)

I am lucky.  Christmas is a shared day with son, wife, grandson, her parents and me.  It can be at son's home or in-laws, but I am always included.


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## RadishRose (Dec 10, 2021)

Bonnie said:


> My  older kids live out of town,  and state.   When they can come for a visit,  it's a nice gathering,   no matter what time of the year it is.
> Same with the grown grandkids  who live some distance away.
> 
> Scheduling a holiday gathering  is rare,   so when they  _ALL _  came to town for a surprise 75th birthday party for me,   I was totally blown away!


Happy belated birthday dear Bonnie!


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## JustBonee (Dec 10, 2021)

RadishRose said:


> Happy belated birthday dear Bonnie!



That 75th  was 3 years ago ....


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## RadishRose (Dec 10, 2021)

Bonnie said:


> That 75th  was 3 years ago ....


Guess I'm really late!!!!
Gimmee me back that cake.....


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## bowmore (Dec 10, 2021)

We will be going to our son's home.  All 4 of us are vaxed, our GD is also, if she comes. For Thanksgiving, our other son DIL, and GD came ddown from NV. They were all vaccinated, too.
At our age, it is safety first


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## Pinky (Dec 10, 2021)

We usually spend either Xmas Eve or Xmas day with our daughter and SIL. In days of yore, we often all congregated at my one sister's house, and everyone contributed a dish or two. Now that we're all older, we don't do that anymore.


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## Don M. (Dec 10, 2021)

We all live within reasonable driving distance, so the entire family gets together for Thanksgiving and Christmas.  We have to schedule the holidays with the In-Laws, so one year we get together on the holiday, then the next year, a few days before or after.  This year we had Thanksgiving on the holiday, and we will have our Christmas a week early, so the kids/grandkids can have their Christmas with their other families.  This routine works good for everyone.


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## Jules (Dec 10, 2021)

My DDs are too far away to visit easily.  DH‘s sons are in Vancouver.  They’d have one year with their wife’s family, one with their mother and one with us.  Sometimes we were out of the country on our own.  No stress trying to satisfy everyone.  This year we might have gone but now the highways are bridges are washed out and there’s no decision to be made.


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## Marie5656 (Dec 10, 2021)

*Many years ago, when more of the elders will still with us, and more family was local, my cousin and his wife did a family Christmas at their house.  An open house.  They did not have children, so they felt it was easier for them to plan it.  So, after folks opened gifts and stuff at home, we went to my cousins for dinner. They just set up a nice buffet,
When Rick was alive, we had family over for Thanksgiving, but did Christmas at home, just us,  We would just spend the day watching Christmas shows on TV, and I would make a simple dinner*


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## jujube (Dec 10, 2021)

Ronni said:


> So how do YOU navigate Christmas scheduling?


Like walking on eggshells......   We rank so low in the pecking order on his side (unless, of course, babysitting is needed and then they remember who we are) that we're lucky if we get an hour a couple of days before or after a holiday.  Once we were told we could come by at 8 pm on Christmas night as long as we didn't stay long.

My daughter and her husband go to their ski condo for every holiday and nothing but nothing gets in the way of that. 

I do get to celebrate the holidays with my granddaughter and great-granddaughter this year as r, though.

I miss the old BIG family gatherings, no matter how tiring they were....


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