# Could use a few suggestions...



## Jaylee (Nov 14, 2019)

I need to find a roommate to split expenses with. I tried the usual places online (Roomster, Senior Homeshares, Roommates.com, Craigslist, etc.), but the only place that provided even _marginal_ results was Craigslist. As it stands, I'm getting nowhere. Does anyone have any advice on how to connect with another senior - one who's happy to live a quiet life (at half the price)? I'd really appreciate a few pointers.


----------



## JustBonee (Nov 14, 2019)

Good luck in your search and what you are trying to do,   but I just cannot see a situation like that turning out well for anyone. 
On paper it may look good to you,   but in reality those  arrangements turn into  nightmares  quickly.

Best bet ... check with someone who has tried it..


----------



## Catlady (Nov 14, 2019)

Jaylee said:


> I need to find a roommate to split expenses with. I tried the usual places online (Roomster, Senior Homeshares, Roommates.com, Craigslist, etc.), but the only place that provided even _marginal_ results was Craigslist. As it stands, I'm getting nowhere. Does anyone have any advice on how to connect with another senior - one who's happy to live a quiet life (at half the price)? I'd really appreciate a few pointers.


If you're looking specifically for a senior, I suggest you go to a Senior Center or something similar where seniors go to socialize.  You can post a note on the board and ask people to spread the word and let the office staff know you're looking.  I wouldn't trust Craigslist for anything like that. 

EDITED;  I would have a questionnaire for when you meet the person (there if posssible) with things that are important to you for a roommate, like rules that you're adamant about.  And before moving in, have a copy ready for both of you to sign so that there's no misunderstanding about those rules ("I don't remember you telling me I couldn't do that!")


----------



## Pepper (Nov 14, 2019)

Also, learn the laws in your locality regarding eviction, if it ever becomes necessary.  Sometimes, you can't evict when you want to.  You also need a good rental agreement that a housing attorney can do.  Imagine the nightmare if it doesn't work out and if you haven't worked out problems in advance.  Think of it like a pre-nup!


----------



## treeguy64 (Nov 14, 2019)

Get everything in writing.  Make a list of all of your house rules.  Get any prospective roommate to sign off on everything you list, everything you want followed.  Draw up your own rules for evictions.  Make sure you check laws/ordinances in your area, so you're not out in left field on the way you want to handle things.  You don't need an attorney for any of this, unless you feel you do.  

I was a successful landlord for over thirty years, several houses.  I wrote all of my own legal documents/leases.  I never needed an attorney, and I evicted a handful of tenants, my way: 24 hours and gone! Make up a background check sheet.  Have each prospective roommate sign off on allowing you to check references, job histories, bank accounts, FICO scores, etc.  Do NOT fail to check everything on those sheets.  You'll be very sorry if you do fail to do so.  CL is full of con people and scammers, plus violent criminals.  I strongly urge you to avoid using it for finding roommates.


----------



## AprilSun (Nov 14, 2019)

Yes, I would stay away from Craigslist. I have heard too much bad stuff about that site and that is just people that purchased items from there. I defiantly wouldn't trust it to find someone to share the same house as I do.


----------



## applecruncher (Nov 14, 2019)

I agree with tg64 about Craig's List - stay away, far away.


----------



## Jaylee (Nov 14, 2019)

Wow.  In one hour, you all gave me pretty much everything I need. Thank you all!

I'll heed the warnings about Craigslist, by the way. Thanks for that, too. I especially like the suggestion about visiting a senior center - I never thought of doing that.


----------



## GeorgiaXplant (Nov 14, 2019)

If you're a churchgoer, ask your pastor. Senior centers. Local council on ageing (or whatever yours is called). Friends of friends. Do your due diligence and stay far, far way from advertising on any sites like Craig's List. By all means have a contract and a written agreement about what each of you can/can't do. And even if you interview somebody with whom you think you instantly connect, keep your wits about you. There are lots of people out there who've lived long enough to be experts at conning their way into and out of a lot of situations.

Be patient. You may have to kiss a lot of frogs. And good luck.


----------



## Catlady (Nov 14, 2019)

Jaylee said:


> Wow.  In one hour, you all gave me pretty much everything I need. Thank you all!



Hey, we're the best senior geezers in the US.     Hope you find the perfect roommate.


----------



## GeorgiaXplant (Nov 14, 2019)

I just had another thought. Once you've gotten some leads, maybe arrange to meet them for lunch or for coffee. I know I'm suspicious, but geez, in this day and age, you really can't be too cautious. I'd be leery of giving a stranger my address without having met first. And maybe have a friend or relative present when you meet and again when they come to your home.


----------



## Jaylee (Nov 14, 2019)

GeorgiaXplant said:


> I just had another thought. Once you've gotten some leads, maybe arrange to meet them for lunch or for coffee. I know I'm suspicious, but geez, in this day and age, you really can't be too cautious. I'd be leery of giving a stranger my address without having met first. And maybe have a friend or relative present when you meet and again when they come to your home.


Thanks. PVC is right: Best in the U.S.  That's excellent advice.


----------



## Catlady (Nov 14, 2019)

GeorgiaXplant said:


> I just had another thought. Once you've gotten some leads, maybe arrange to meet them for lunch or for coffee. I know I'm suspicious, but geez, in this day and age, you really can't be too cautious. *I'd be leery of giving a stranger my address without having met first. And maybe have a friend or relative present when you meet and again when they come to your home.*


Excellent advice!  It proves that several heads are better than one.  This website is the best!


----------



## RadishRose (Nov 14, 2019)

There's so much more to consider; smoking, drinking, cleaning, parking, guests, boy/girlfriends, pets, grand children's sleepovers, yard work.

I know I'd go nuts if I came home one night to a mess in the kitchen; sink full of dishes, greasy stove. I would have a fit!


----------



## Catlady (Nov 14, 2019)

RadishRose said:


> There's so much more to consider; smoking, drinking, cleaning, parking, guests, boy/girlfriends, pets, grand children's sleepovers, yard work.
> I know I'd go nuts if I came home one night to a mess in the kitchen; sink full of dishes, greasy stove. I would have a fit!


I could never have a roommate, I envy people that can, so much cheaper to live.  I'd rather skimp on everything than have to live with someone.


----------



## GeorgiaXplant (Nov 14, 2019)

RadishRose said:


> There's so much more to consider; smoking, drinking, cleaning, parking, guests, boy/girlfriends, pets, grand children's sleepovers, yard work.
> 
> I know I'd go nuts if I came home one night to a mess in the kitchen; sink full of dishes, greasy stove. I would have a fit!


Yup. All of the above, not to mention what's off limits (for both), division of chores, what's common space, what's private. Share cooking and groceries? But it can all be worked out _in advance_ so that there are no surprises, no resentment. 

And do you want a roommate who's also there for companionship or who's only there to do/pay for half of everything? Will roommate furnish own room? I know I'd want my own "stuff" around me.


----------



## Butterfly (Nov 14, 2019)

I strongly echo all the above warnings about Craigslist.  Way too many nightmare scenarios have come from there.

I would be extremely wary about giving anyone I didn't already know to be trustworthy access to my home.  The person might sound fine, but who knows about their friends/relatives/accomplices/violent exes, etc.


----------



## RadishRose (Nov 15, 2019)

Butterfly said:


> The person might sound fine, but who knows about their friends/relatives/accomplices/violent exes, etc.


That's right.


----------



## Liberty (Nov 15, 2019)

Do you have a local church you could reach out to?  Perhaps they have well known members that may be also looking for room mates?


----------



## Liberty (Nov 15, 2019)

GeorgiaXplant said:


> Yup. All of the above, not to mention what's off limits (for both), division of chores, what's common space, what's private. Share cooking and groceries? But it can all be worked out _in advance_ so that there are no surprises, no resentment.
> 
> And do you want a roommate who's also there for companionship or who's only there to do/pay for half of everything? Will roommate furnish own room? I know I'd want my own "stuff" around me.


Hey, Georgia...did you ever watch "The Big Bang Theory"...he had his famous "Official Room mate Contract"...that spelled everything out exactly?  Not a bad idea.


----------



## Trade (Nov 15, 2019)

I have had Ok experiances buying and selling stuff on craigslist. But you do have to be careful. But as for finding a room mate on there, I wouldn't chance that.


----------



## Lc jones (Nov 15, 2019)

The church idea a good one and also some kind of agreement that both of you can iron out before moving in together it would also be very helpful to get to know the person before making this decision.


----------



## Ladybj (Nov 15, 2019)

I agree with one pf the other post - I would not trust Craigslist.  There are a lot of seniors that are looking for a roommate.  The hard part is finding the right one where you both get along with each other. I would have a simple application for them to fill out.  I would check references, possibly background check (you never know).  As one of the other post suggested, make sure you get to know the person. Talk on the phone a few times and definitely check references.  

If it came down to me needing or wanting a roommate - God forbid if anything happens to my husband, I have a few people in mind.  My brother in law will be one of them.. he is up in age, he lives in another State but I would trust him to rent a room in my home. 

The best to you in your search.


----------



## RedAlert (Nov 15, 2019)

Jaylee said:


> I need to find a roommate to split expenses with. I tried the usual places online (Roomster, Senior Homeshares, Roommates.com, Craigslist, etc.), but the only place that provided even _marginal_ results was Craigslist. As it stands, I'm getting nowhere. Does anyone have any advice on how to connect with another senior - one who's happy to live a quiet life (at half the price)? I'd really appreciate a few pointers.


Have you tried at your Church.
If you have  one...or ask at hairdressers place. Try Nextdoor in your state.


----------



## Jaylee (Nov 15, 2019)

Liberty said:


> Do you have a local church you could reach out to?  Perhaps they have well known members that may be also looking for room mates?


Sometimes I wish I had a church home, but no, I don't. I just don't do well in churches.


----------



## Jaylee (Nov 15, 2019)

Ladybj said:


> I agree with one pf the other post - I would not trust Craigslist.  There are a lot of seniors that are looking for a roommate.  The hard part is finding the right one where you both get along with each other. I would have a simple application for them to fill out.  I would check references, possibly background check (you never know).  As one of the other post suggested, make sure you get to know the person. Talk on the phone a few times and definitely check references.
> 
> If it came down to me needing or wanting a roommate - God forbid if anything happens to my husband, I have a few people in mind.  My brother in law will be one of them.. he is up in age, he lives in another State but I would trust him to rent a room in my home.
> 
> The best to you in your search.


Thanks.  And yes, I would no doubt do a thorough background check.


----------



## RedAlert (Nov 15, 2019)

Jaylee said:


> Sometimes I wish I had a church home, but no, I don't. I just don't do well in churches.


Me either but worth a try if you did. Good Luck.


----------



## Liberty (Nov 16, 2019)

Jaylee said:


> Sometimes I wish I had a church home, but no, I don't. I just don't do well in churches.


Well, you don't have to have a regular church, just a church you could go to and ask the church secretary about it.
The church secretaries really are up on things.  I used to belong to a large Lutheran church, and was friends with the church secretary.  She was a fountain of knowledge.  I'd be comfortable with someone that has been a long standing member at a local church being a room mate possible.  Want to write up a room mate contract, though, here's one you can fill in and have printed out :

https://www.wonder.legal/us/modele/roommate-agreement
There are also senior roommate finding services out there on the web.


----------



## Jaylee (Nov 16, 2019)

Thanks!


----------



## Liberty (Nov 16, 2019)

Jaylee said:


> Thanks!


Yes, its important to remember we can sometimes find a good friend when we open our homes up.  Years ago, we let a mother and her two kids, ages 4 and 14 (from California) live in our garage apt. free.  She was a career Air Force vet, with a sad spousal issue - very smart and she lived there for about 6 months.  She was able to buy a home on a VA loan and now is so very happy.  She's become like my "soul daughter relation".  Her youngest, now 11, thinks of us as grandma and grandpa.  They come for Thanksgiving & Christmas and other special times throughout the year and we email about every day.

You never know, just need to be "prudent" about the whole thing, and go with your gut, too.


----------



## Catlady (Nov 16, 2019)

Liberty said:


> Want to write up a room mate contract, though, here's one you can fill in and have printed out :



Is that the same one that Sheldon made Leonard sign?


----------



## Liberty (Nov 16, 2019)




----------



## applecruncher (Nov 16, 2019)

Roommate situations can be stressful at best, even between relatives, friends, and even with people who know each other.  Sure, a written contract is mandatory but so many things come up that wouldn't necessarily be spelled out.

-One person might be a chatty drama llama, the other a closed book who prefers talking only when necessary
-Night owl vs early bird (some like to watch TV in wee hours)
-Loud talking on phone
-Heavy walking, door slamming vs tiptoe
-Use of kitchen, bathroom, washer & dryer (share condiments, detergents, toilet paper?)
-Separate or shared coffee maker, dishes, pots & pans?
-Refrigerator and cabinets - separate shelves?
-Sensitivities re: food odors and other smells (perfumes, air fresheners, etc.)
-Personal hygiene (some people are just dirty & smelly)
-Privacy...locks on bedroom doors?

^^These are only SOME of the issues which can cause problems, arguments, and even police calls.  Yes, it happens.

My suggestion: _ Do whatever you need to in order to avoid a shared living situation._


----------



## Catlady (Nov 16, 2019)

Roommates would only work for me if I had my own apartment and they had theirs.


----------



## Lc jones (Nov 16, 2019)

PVC said:


> Roommates would only work for me if I had my own apartment and they had theirs.


Haha!!!!


----------



## Lc jones (Nov 16, 2019)

Liberty said:


> Yes, its important to remember we can sometimes find a good friend when we open our homes up.  Years ago, we let a mother and her two kids, ages 4 and 14 (from California) live in our garage apt. free.  She was a career Air Force vet, with a sad spousal issue - very smart and she lived there for about 6 months.  She was able to buy a home on a VA loan and now is so very happy.  She's become like my "soul daughter relation".  Her youngest, now 11, thinks of us as grandma and grandpa.  They come for Thanksgiving & Christmas and other special times throughout the year and we email about every day.
> 
> You never know, just need to be "prudent" about the whole thing, and go with your gut, too.


You’ve got a great heart!


----------



## Liberty (Nov 17, 2019)

Lc jones said:


> You’ve got a great heart!


Thank you, we are trying to help a potential homeless disabled lady and her service dog now. She is to be evicted next week.  Say a prayer please, guys.


----------



## Ladybj (Nov 17, 2019)

Liberty said:


> Thank you, we are trying to help a potential homeless disabled lady and her service dog now. She is to be evicted next week.  Say a prayer please, guys.


I sent up a prayer for you all.


----------



## Lc jones (Nov 17, 2019)

Liberty said:


> Thank you, we are trying to help a potential homeless disabled lady and her service dog now. She is to be evicted next week.  Say a prayer please, guys.


Prayers sent!!!!!


----------



## Marie5656 (Nov 17, 2019)

*I had roommates when I first moved into my house.  When I was still single.  This was before Craigslist. I had no computer at the time (early 90s) and put an ad in the local paper.  I was in my 40s at the time, and legally could not set a minimum age range. So I asked for a "mature female".  I got everything from college students (but I am mature for my age) to people with children.  Found my first, about my age and at first she seemed OK. Had references, etc. She asked if it was OK that she had a cat. I said yes, and decided to invite her to move in
Worked out well initially, but she turned out to be an odd one. Spent ALL her time in her bedroom. Even ate there.  Aparently even when she was home alone.  She started shorting me on rent. Turned out she was also very prejudiced and homophobic. My niece is gay, so that bothered me.  Once I had my niece and her then partner over for dinner.  Roommate would not even acknowledge them. After they left, she cleaned the entire bathroom...with bleach!!  I only say that because she had never deep cleaned the bathroom like that before or since.
I ended up evicting her. For various reasons.
Get references. Even if they seem perfect at first, things may go sideways.  Or it may turn out well.*


----------

