# Age Confusion with Children AND Parents



## SeaBreeze (Aug 5, 2013)

I was watching a TV show today where they showed Tom Cruise's young daughter wearing high heels.   Then they showed a 4 1/2 year old boy who was still sucking on a pacifier.   My mother never used a pacifier for me back in the day...and I always thought it was odd when parents used one on any child besides an infant.  Besides that, as mentioned in another thread, I've seen shows where mothers are breastfeeding their young children, 3, 4, 5 and 6+ year olds...and more upsetting, doing it in public places without cover.

What is going on with parent's nowadays??  They're either pushing the kids into maturity long before their time, robbing them of just having an innocent childhood (don't get me started on Toddlers and Tiaras!)....or, it's the complete opposite...they want to keep them babies as long as they can.  Also mentioned in another thread here, the parents don't seem to want to embrace adulthood themselves, and never fully mature.  I don't get it.


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## Michael. (Aug 6, 2013)

Same problem over at this side of the planet.

You will see babies and young children wearing expensive designer clothes which they outgrow in no time.

We tend to call the pacifier a dummy and I often see them just lying about on the ground. They are very unhygienic and parents just pick them up and stick them back in the babies mouth.

However I guess all little girls like to dress up and emulate the parents?
.


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## SeaBreeze (Aug 6, 2013)

Well, playing 'dress-up' used to stay in the home as a fun thing to do, the little girls didn't dress like that every day.  I was graduating grade school to go into high school, before my mother permitted me to get a pair of high heels for my graduation.  They were white, with heels not too high...but that was a different time back then.


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## That Guy (Aug 6, 2013)




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## SifuPhil (Aug 6, 2013)

You know what's even scarier than a little kid dressing like an adult?

... an adult dressing like a little kid.

There's little that is more pathetic than an aging Little Lord Fauntleroy or Dolly Dimples.


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## That Guy (Aug 6, 2013)

On a serious note (gawd I hate getting serious 'cause I can dig down deep and get serious as a heart attack at times . . .), the tarting up of little girls angers me no end.  Sick, sick, sick and sickening.  Reference "Black Hole Sun" by Sound Garden . . .   Some day, that big ol' ball o' fire roughly 93 million miles away will expand and end all this crap.  That's a good thing.


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## Warrigal (Aug 6, 2013)

I'm a little shocked by the age of some children, who look like they are nearly school age, being wheeled around the shops in strollers. It is purely for the convenience of the parents and not doing much for the physical stamina of the child.

Most mothers here dress their little girls sensibly when they are little but are complaining about the clothing ranges that are available when they reach the tween age. Provocative messages on underwear are very common and it is hard to find plain clothing that doesn't come with glitter and spangles. 

Shoes are another matter. It is hard to buy a pair of leather shoes for a child and plastic high heeled scuffs are all too common. Fortunately all school children in Australia wear school uniform and sensible shoes are required five days a week.


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## SifuPhil (Aug 6, 2013)

The whole school-uniform thing has been hotly debated here in the States. I know at my son's high school they just started a dress code - of sorts. Beige full-length pants, solid-color polo shirt (no T's or messages), sneakers or shoes.

The kids, as well as the parents, are in an uproar. You'd think they asked them to wear a full military pack on their back. 

I've seen the pros and cons about dress codes expressed in many places, and for me it boils down to a few factors: loss of individuality (but then, how individual is a group of kids that are all wearing the latest fashions?) but minimization of status wars and over-focusing on clothing styles at the expense of scholastic subjects.

In the end, if that's their biggest problem then they should thank their lucky stars.


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## SeaBreeze (Aug 6, 2013)

That Guy, I'm disgusted too when I see young children dressed like that way, the parents are forming their personalities in such a negative fashion.  Then, there's men with issues who lust for these kids (watching too many daytime talk shows).   Warrigal, I wore a school uniform all my years in grade school, up through the 8th grade.  It was white blouse, navy blue jumper, navy blue knee socks,  and black and white saddle shoes.


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## Anne (Aug 6, 2013)

I think school uniforms are a great idea.  No one's gonna bully the kids who can't afford the expensive fashions, when they all dress the same, and maybe, just maybe, they might concentrate on work more than what anyone is wearing.  Kids would hate it at first, but it sure isn't gonna kill them, and might teach them something about the golden rule, besides.

Little girls are little girls and need to be just that for awhile - it's just sick of the parents to dress them like little streetwalkers.   :what:


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## Jillaroo (Aug 6, 2013)

_I feel that wearing a school uniform is important as it takes away the differences in children and puts them on an even keel with everyone, there is a lot of peer pressure with kids at school and the ones whose parents can afford the well known brands and the other kids trying to keep up with them by pleading with their parents to buy the well known brands they just can't afford. Another good point is kids don't need as many clothes as they wear the uniform 5 days a week which eases the burden on parents_:hair:


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## Diwundrin (Aug 6, 2013)

> minimization of status wars and over-focusing on clothing styles at the expense of scholastic subjects.



That was the main reasoning behind keeping uniforms here when a bit of a kerfuffle was on about it a few decades ago.  Good reason too.  


Speaking of adults dressing as kids being scarier....  I worked with the tiniest woman, she was roughly the size of a 7- 8 yo.  She discovered that to make her salary cover a reasonable lifestyle she had to stop having clothes specially made to fit her and shop in the kid's section instead.  Once fashions changed to T-shirts and jeans she got away with it easily.   She had two good outfits to go out to parties in and the rest was K-mart and Target kid'swear.Shoes and all. they just don't make stilletoes in her tiny size so flash kid's sandals were the go for her. Another 3 inches on her height wouldn't have made much difference anyway.  Then she would have looked like one of  those Toddler beauty Queens.


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## Anne (Aug 7, 2013)

Diwundrin said:


> Speaking of adults dressing as kids being scarier....  I worked with the tiniest woman, she was roughly the size of a 7- 8 yo.  She discovered that to make her salary cover a reasonable lifestyle she had to stop having clothes specially made to fit her and shop in the kid's section instead.  Once fashions changed to T-shirts and jeans she got away with it easily.   She had two good outfits to go out to parties in and the rest was K-mart and Target kid'swear.Shoes and all. they just don't make stilletoes in her tiny size so flash kid's sandals were the go for her. Another 3 inches on her height wouldn't have made much difference anyway.  Then she would have looked like one of  those Toddler beauty Queens.



I can relate...I have to buy girls jeans for them to fit and not be too long.   Hubby was shopping for a pair of jeans for me, and asked the saleslady for assistance, and she gave him a strange look, and said he was shopping in the wrong department, as it was for girls.  I don't want to imagine what she was thinking....
It is really hard, as I don't want to look like 'an old person trying to look like a teenager', so although I love clothes, shopping is a real pain; especially when you're looking for more dressy outfits that are age-appropriate.


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## SifuPhil (Aug 7, 2013)

Anne said:


> ...It is really hard, as I don't want to look like 'an old person trying to look like a teenager', so although I love clothes, shopping is a real pain; especially when you're looking for more dressy outfits that are age-appropriate.



*Plainly Dressed*, an Amish clothing store, has ladies dresses starting (in most cases) at size 2 that also offer full customization ... 

Now THAT'S classy!


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## JustBonee (Aug 7, 2013)

SeaBreeze said:


> Then they showed a 4 1/2 year old boy who was still sucking on a pacifier.   My mother never used a pacifier for me back in the day...and I always thought it was odd when parents used one on any child besides an infant.



The pacifier .... there is nothing good about a pacifier, from day one ...  just ask any dentist.   It's been shown to affect how the teeth come in.  Hospitals discharge newborn babies with a pacifier in their gift packs... shame on them.  
It's a bad habit formed if parents don't stop the practice from the beginning.  Easier to shove that thing in their mouth then to take care of whatever the problem is.  :2cents:


Dress code ... don't have school uniforms in public school here, but the kids all want to dress alike anyway!  Rules are pretty long on dress code and hair styles;  and getting longer as problems pop up.


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## That Guy (Aug 7, 2013)

My X sent our son to a prestigious private school where they, of course, wore uniforms.  I noticed something immediately . . .   The kids may have been dressed alike but the little rich bastards were sporting cashmere sweaters and Italian leather shoes.  It was subtle but oh so obvious . . .


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## Aunt Marg (Nov 8, 2020)

SeaBreeze said:


> I was watching a TV show today where they showed Tom Cruise's young daughter wearing high heels.  *Then they showed a 4 1/2 year old boy who was still sucking on a pacifier.  My mother never used a pacifier for me back in the day...and I always thought it was odd when parents used one on any child besides an infant*.  Besides that, as mentioned in another thread, I've seen shows where mothers are breastfeeding their young children, 3, 4, 5 and 6+ year olds...and more upsetting, doing it in public places without cover.
> 
> What is going on with parent's nowadays??  They're either pushing the kids into maturity long before their time, robbing them of just having an innocent childhood (don't get me started on Toddlers and Tiaras!)....or, it's the complete opposite...they want to keep them babies as long as they can.  Also mentioned in another thread here, the parents don't seem to want to embrace adulthood themselves, and never fully mature.  I don't get it.


I remember my baby brother had a pacifier for the longest time, and one morning my mom reached her breaking-point with it, and walking baby brother over the garbage can, she took his soother, cut it in half with a pair of scissors, and allowed the two pieces to fall into the garbage.

The end. No more soother. Surprisingly, baby brother took it all in stride.


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## Tish (Nov 8, 2020)

It's the same thing over here but thankfully toddlers in tiaras has not caught on.
Unfortunately, mothers will breastfeed their children in public without covering up, some of those babies breastfeeding are 3 and older and have ear piercings. 
I have nothing against breastfeeding, I breastfed all of mine but I never just hung them out for the world to see.


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## MarciKS (Nov 8, 2020)

SeaBreeze said:


> I was watching a TV show today where they showed Tom Cruise's young daughter wearing high heels.   Then they showed a 4 1/2 year old boy who was still sucking on a pacifier.   My mother never used a pacifier for me back in the day...and I always thought it was odd when parents used one on any child besides an infant.  Besides that, as mentioned in another thread, I've seen shows where mothers are breastfeeding their young children, 3, 4, 5 and 6+ year olds...and more upsetting, doing it in public places without cover.
> 
> What is going on with parent's nowadays??  They're either pushing the kids into maturity long before their time, robbing them of just having an innocent childhood (don't get me started on Toddlers and Tiaras!)....or, it's the complete opposite...they want to keep them babies as long as they can.  Also mentioned in another thread here, the parents don't seem to want to embrace adulthood themselves, and never fully mature.  I don't get it.


I was told when my grandpas mom had him she had wanted a girl. She was mad she had a boy and she dressed him like a girl when he was little.


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## Gaer (Nov 9, 2020)

Never gave my kids pacifiers.  
I understand and agree with Seabreeze's views.


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## win231 (Nov 9, 2020)

My mom gave me a pacifier like this one:


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## MarciKS (Nov 9, 2020)

i don't see any problem with the pacifier. if it helps keep the baby calm for a bit what's the harm? at 4 1/2 no.


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## MarciKS (Nov 9, 2020)

what about those mothers who don't potty train their kids and their in school and still wearing pull ups for God sake?


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## grahamg (Nov 9, 2020)

Aunt Marg said:


> I remember my baby brother had a pacifier for the longest time, and one morning my mom reached her breaking-point with it, and walking baby brother over the garbage can, she took his soother, cut it in half with a pair of scissors, and allowed the two pieces to fall into the garbage.
> 
> The end. No more soother. Surprisingly, baby brother took it all in stride.


"No, I'm sure he was deeply scarred by this traumatic event and can't look at a pair of scissors today without recalling the day his mom did this to him!".   .


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## grahamg (Nov 9, 2020)

SeaBreeze said:


> I was watching a TV show today where they showed Tom Cruise's young daughter wearing high heels.   Then they showed a 4 1/2 year old boy who was still sucking on a pacifier.   My mother never used a pacifier for me back in the day...and I always thought it was odd when parents used one on any child besides an infant.  Besides that, as mentioned in another thread, I've seen shows where mothers are breastfeeding their young children, 3, 4, 5 and 6+ year olds...and more upsetting, doing it in public places without cover.
> 
> What is going on with parent's nowadays??  They're either pushing the kids into maturity long before their time, robbing them of just having an innocent childhood (don't get me started on Toddlers and Tiaras!)....or, it's the complete opposite...they want to keep them babies as long as they can.  Also mentioned in another thread here, the parents don't seem to want to embrace adulthood themselves, and never fully mature.  I don't get it.


My daughter did suck her thumb pretty thoroughly till she was about six, (her mother sticking it into her mouth when she was a baby, as she'd been a thumb sucker too, and didn't like pacifiers).
I think the most helpful way to view any childhood irregularity, such as using a pacifier for a long time, or sucking your thumb for a similar length of time, is to view them as "phases" the child is going through and will come out of, such as when my daughter started to realise other children her age were not sucking their thumbs, and she was ready to move on from, or no longer needed, the comfort it gave her.

I accept what you've said generally though, and the comment about the lack of maturity in some parents.


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## grahamg (Nov 9, 2020)

SifuPhil said:


> You know what's even scarier than a little kid dressing like an adult?
> ... an adult dressing like a little kid. There's little that is more pathetic than an aging Little Lord Fauntleroy or Dolly Dimples.
> View attachment 1963


This isn't our good forum friend is it, (Gary O)?    .

This guy I mean:


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