# Need Answer In A Hurry



## oldman (Aug 15, 2020)

Later today, we are attending a wedding celebration for a couple that have been previously married. This is my nephew’s third wedding and his new wife’s second. Do we give a gift and if so, what should it be worth? I have read conflicting answers on the net. One said that no gift is necessary if we had attended previous weddings and gifted. Another site wrote yes, but not to over-spend, meaning to keep the gift value around $50.00. Their suggestion was either a gift card or cash.

What say you?


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## JustBonee (Aug 15, 2020)

I don't understand  ...  they were previously  married to each other?  

Gift card is always  in good  taste.


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## oldman (Aug 15, 2020)

Bonnie said:


> I don't understand  ...  they were previously  married to each other?
> 
> Gift card is always  in good  taste.


No they were married to different spouses.


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## Becky1951 (Aug 15, 2020)

Gift card.


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## JustBonee (Aug 15, 2020)

I don't think previous marriages count  to them ... their marriage is new .
Gift card - yes


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## oldman (Aug 15, 2020)

Becky1951 said:


> Gift card.


From where? I don’t have a lot of time, so I will have to do a restaurant. That should do, right?


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## JustBonee (Aug 15, 2020)

If cash is easier,  than go that way.


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## oldman (Aug 15, 2020)

Bonnie said:


> If cash is easier,  than go that way.


Cash would definitely be easier.


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## Becky1951 (Aug 15, 2020)

Restaurant would be good.


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## fmdog44 (Aug 15, 2020)

Third marriage- why not ask him for some cards from his first two then give them one of those. Gifts should be for young first timers only. I would not give anything.


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## MarciKS (Aug 15, 2020)

I would give them a wedding card & the $50 in cash stuffed into it.


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## Gaer (Aug 15, 2020)

Hi!  I think, Do what you  feel!
it doesn't matter howmany times they have been married.  They are in love.
Buy a lovely greeting card and slap in a $50.00 bill.
Sometimes a gift of money is more beautiful than roses!


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## bowmore (Aug 15, 2020)

Here is my answer in poetry:
Three little words
There are three words, the sweetest words
In all of human speech—
More sweet than are the songs of birds
Or pages poets preach.

This life may be a vale of tears,
A sad and dreary thing—
Three words, and trouble disappears
And birds begin to sing.

Three words, and all the roses bloom,
The sun begins to shine.
Three words will dissipate the gloom
And water turn to wine.

Three words will cheer the saddest days.
“I love you”? Wrong, by heck!—
It is another, sweeter phrase,
“Enclosed find check”.


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## SeaBreeze (Aug 15, 2020)

The wedding gift shouldn't be affected by previous marriages.  I would put cash or check in a card for them.  In my opinion, fifty dollars is not nearly enough to give, unless that's all you can afford.  I just gave my great nephew $250 just for his high school graduation, and I'm far from rich.  I'd say the gift should be at least a hundred dollars.


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## Lara (Aug 15, 2020)

Cash or check in a wedding card is good. If they are young then the gift card should be from a store like Bed, Bath, & Beyond or a nice Department store where they can buy necessities they need. If they are older, like your nephew is, then, yes, a restaurant is good.


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## Camper6 (Aug 15, 2020)

Cash and a card to put it in.

That seems to me what they appreciate the most these days.

In fact there was one couple's invite I got and they said, we like to travel so instead of a traditional gift we would appreciate cash.

I sent them $50 American which is $75 Canadian to buy.

It was much simpler for me.

If you are attending a wedding where food and drinks are served I would double that because that's what catering costs these days.

My old friend would say.  O.K. but if you split up you have to give me the money back so I can save it for your next wedding.


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## hellomimi (Aug 15, 2020)

Since GCs can be/are easily hacked these days, I'd give a beautiful card with crisp cash enclosed. I give no less than $100 to acquaintances. For close friends and family, no less than double that amount, regardless of how many times they've been married.


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## Pinky (Aug 15, 2020)

oldman said:


> Later today, we are attending a wedding celebration for a couple that have been previously married. This is my nephew’s third wedding and his new wife’s second. Do we give a gift and if so, what should it be worth? I have read conflicting answers on the net. One said that no gift is necessary if we had attended previous weddings and gifted. Another site wrote yes, but not to over-spend, meaning to keep the gift value around $50.00. Their suggestion was either a gift card or cash.
> 
> What say you?


It's a relative, so I would, as Mimi suggests, give at least between $100 - $200. No gift would be tacky, to say the least.


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## Aunt Bea (Aug 15, 2020)

I vote for cash and a simple card.

My grandmother always figured that the minimum amount of the gift had to at least cover her share of the food and booze. 

If I didn't care enough about the people to give a gift I would stay home.


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## jerry old (Aug 15, 2020)

a portable roulette wheel  cost around $ 125.00

Addendum: there is also  an eleven inch  portable wheel for around fifteen bucks.
you can put that on your lap as you cruise among the prospects
(go ahead, kill me, I ain't no good)


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## Camper6 (Aug 15, 2020)

jerry old said:


> a portable roulette wheel  cost around $ 125.00


I don't get it.  For the unwashed and uneducated, could you explain the significance of a roulette wheel?


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## jerry old (Aug 15, 2020)

with 5 marriages to date for the pair, a roulette wheel might come in real handy, on decision of marriage (I'm terrible)


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## win231 (Aug 15, 2020)

A gift is not necessary.
Send them a card that says, _"Don't you ever learn?"_


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## Ruthanne (Aug 16, 2020)

If I had the money I would give them cash of 50.00 or a nice gift card.


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## oldman (Aug 16, 2020)

Went to the party and put a check in the envelope with the card. I had a good time. It was the first time that I had been anywhere since being released from the hospital. I was up most of the night with pain in my lower bowel. I am going to have to call the surgeon again in the morning (Monday). Something just isn't right.


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## Ken N Tx (Aug 16, 2020)

I know I am late responding, but I would have gifted $50 to at least cover the costs of our meal..


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## hollydolly (Aug 16, 2020)

oldman said:


> Went to the party and put a check in the envelope with the card. I had a good time. It was the first time that I had been anywhere since being released from the hospital.* I was up most of the night with pain in my lower bowel. I am going to have to call the surgeon again in the morning (Monday). Something just isn't right.*


Oh My, can't you call someone now ?


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## Sunny (Aug 16, 2020)

Oldman, don't wait a whole day!  If you still have the pain, make an emergency call now!


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## Sunny (Aug 16, 2020)

About wedding gifts, I was surprised recently to read on a Miss Manners site that when invited to a wedding (or going to it), no gift is ever required. Gifts are supposed to be optional.

However, I agree with those who say it's pretty tacky to attend and give nothing!  I think the $50 gift sounds appropriate.


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## Pepper (Aug 16, 2020)

Sunny said:


> I think the $50 gift sounds appropriate.


$50 bucks was appropriate in 1950!  Unless you're a pauper that's incredibly cheap.


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## Ruth n Jersey (Aug 16, 2020)

I just saw this post and think you did the right thing. I'm glad you had a good time but so sorry to hear of your problems. I hope you are feeling better today and will follow up with your doctor tomorrow.


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## JaniceM (Aug 20, 2020)

oldman said:


> Later today, we are attending a wedding celebration for a couple that have been previously married. This is my nephew’s third wedding and his new wife’s second. Do we give a gift and if so, what should it be worth? I have read conflicting answers on the net. One said that no gift is necessary if we had attended previous weddings and gifted. Another site wrote yes, but not to over-spend, meaning to keep the gift value around $50.00. Their suggestion was either a gift card or cash.
> 
> What say you?


I don't know about the modern approach, but I believe in the old-fashioned 'rules':  if you're invited to a wedding/anniversary/birthday/etc., take a gift if you attend or send a gift if you don't attend.  If for some reason you can't afford a gift, at least give/send a card.  "NY Old-skool Etiquette."


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