# When you were in the service, did your CO or Senior Enlisted Leader Ever Call or Meet Your Parents/



## Pecos (Sep 26, 2020)

Did your CO or Senior Enlisted Leader ever call or meet your parents?

The reason I ask is because I was talking with one of my neighbors about talking to the parents of one of my sailors and he was astonished that anyone in his Chain-of-Command would ever do anything like that. Granted, he was not in the military as long as I was, nor was he senior enough to have been put in the position of having to do that.

I explained that my view was that these were young men and women and that I had encountered several instances where talking to the parents was either a big help, or at least provided insight into the way an 18 or 19 year old was thinking.

- We had a young man in Spain who got hooked on a readily available drug that he could buy on the Spanish economy. He was a good kid, but we just could not get him to stop using it, and we could not completely block his access to it short of putting him in the brig, and we had no justification for locking him up that would stand legal review. Restricting him to the barracks didn't stop it. His parents were very helpful and flew over within a few days to have a heart-to-heart talk with him, especially about the long term risk to his health. He was already aging at a very rapid rate and alarming our base Doctors. They were a big help and glad to do it.

- We had another young man in Spain who was constantly in trouble and had already had a Special Court Martial for theft and assault. He was headed for another more severe Court Martial which would seriously disrupt his future. I talked to his father and asked if he thought that he could talk some sense into his son. The son was very intelligent and talented and it just struck me as a total waste. His father essentially told me that he did not give a d___m. No help at all and we wound up having to Court Martial him again, slap him in the brig for several months and give him a Bad Conduct Discharge.

- In Korea, I had a young man who got a bad infection in his hand and the medical help we were getting from the Army Hospital was not helping. The infection kept getting worse and I was afraid that he would lose his hand. Finally, I called his parents in Maryland and talked to them. I put him on an outgoing flight and they agreed to take their son down to the big Naval Hospital in Bethesda. A few days later I got a formal message from the Chief of Naval Personnel directing me to ship all of his possessions to the Naval Hospital because he was going to be there for awhile. They saved his hand, and I never got him back. He was reassigned to a station close to the hospital. These parents were very helpful as I was getting nowhere in Korea.

- I had an 18 year old from the Oklahoma who was bound and determined to marry a 38 year old hooker who had already given him VD, had cut him with a knife, and had tried to have him arrested for something that did not happen since he was on watch at the same time. I did everything that I could to dissuade him, numerous counseling sessions with me and a variety of legal and mental experts. He continued to insist that he was going to marry this woman. I tried talking her out of it as well with no success and I was going to have to give him formal permission. Finally I called his father and explained that I needed his help. The father told me that he didn't give a damn. Luckily, an opportunity came up to send someone with his skill set to the Philippines for three months. I sent him down there where he promptly fell in love with a young Philippine girl. He came back to Korea, forgot about the older woman and spent the rest of his tour trying to get back to the Philippines and get married down there. No help from that sorry excuse for a father, even telling him what was going to show up on his doorstep had no affect. (I need to comment that we had several young men marry Korean girls and I met them all including those who worked in the bar district. I had no reason to block any of them.)   

- Over the years, I had quite a number of young men and women bring their parents into my office for a cup of coffee. One young man brought his father in to my office where I learned that the father was staying out in the local Korean bar district outside the base. Obviously, not the ideal place for a 72 year old man. I had the barracks manager fix the father up with a room in the barrack, where he stayed for two weeks. He came back the next year and proved to be an asset to have around my sailors and marines really liked having a Grandfather around and he was marvelous in that role. He attended all of their sports events and tended the bar in the lounge from time to time. The Admiral came down one day and didn't raise an eyebrow when I told him the story, in fact the Admiral really liked him.

So, did your Chain-of-Command ever talk to your parents?


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## oldman (Sep 27, 2020)

My dad was a career Army man. He met my Sergeant at my graduation from Boot. My dad was in uniform because he was on his way to a base in Missouri. My Sergeant asked my dad why didn’t I follow him into the Army instead of enlisting in the Marines. My dad told him that he wasn’t sure, but stupidity mostly.


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## Pecos (Sep 27, 2020)

oldman said:


> My dad was a career Army man. He met my Sergeant at my graduation from Boot. My dad was in uniform because he was on his way to a base in Missouri. My Sergeant asked my dad why didn’t I follow him into the Army instead of enlisting in the Marines. My dad told him that he wasn’t sure, but stupidity mostly.


My son and I were both on active duty at the same time and I learned that showing up at his duty stations in uniform seemed to always get interesting:

When I went to his Boot Camp Graduation as a Lt Commander (O-4), his E-6 boot camp commander could not seem to grasp that all I wanted to do was watch my son graduate. I did not want to inspect the barracks, I did not want address or inspect his Company, and I did not want to meet his boss. I asked him to think about how it would look for the father of one of his new recruits to show up and conduct a personnel inspection on the rest of them. I had to explain that many Commissioned Officers had children who came into the Navy as enlisted personnel. He finally settled down when he realized that I was just there to visit my son and watch the Graduation Parade.

The second time I showed up at my son's duty station in uniform, he was an E-5 attached to a helo squadron in Jacksonville. I was still an O-4, but I was a staff officer assigned to the full four star Admiral in Pearl Harbor. I was down in Florida for the purpose of giving a briefing to CentCom and made a side trip to visit my son. The Commanding Officer of the Squadron did a little freak out on me about why he was not notified that I was coming and what the interest of the Pacific Fleet Commander was regarding his squadron. It took me quite awhile to convince him that I was just there to visit my son and see some of the aircraft he was flying in. I was not there to conduct some kind of investigation or inspection. Finally, my son got to show me around and since I am not an aviator, it was pretty interesting. 

After that, I made sure that I changed into civilian clothes before I showed up at his duty stations.


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## jujube (Sep 27, 2020)

When the Spousal Equivalent went into the Navy, he had "father-and-son" duty with his dad on his first ship. So, yes, I'd say the captain had met his father.....


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## oldman (Sep 27, 2020)

My nephew also retired from the Navy. I am not sure if I have his rank correct, but I believe he was an LCAC Commander. Yes, no, maybe? 

My dad was a First Sergeant at the time he came to my graduation. I asked him to stay away after I found out that he would be traveling for the Army and he would be in uniform for my graduation, but he just had to come down there. My dad was in four wars, but did not actually fight in all four. 

When I told my dad that I wanted to join the Marines, he was very supportive. He never once tried to talk me into going Army. 

On one of my many trips to Hawaii, I went out to Pearl Harbor several times. I was on the Arizona and the Bowfin. I don't think that I could do time on a sub. I'm not claustrophobic, but the quarters would just be too tight for someone 6'4". Here is a doorway. 

*
Not to mention the size of the bunks. *


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## jerry old (Sep 27, 2020)

Pecos you story of a recruit brought  back memories:
Had a 17 y/o recruit recruit  arrive in Germany in love with a 40 y/o prostitute.   He wanted to marry her while in the states; his CO said 'No way."

So. if he returned to the states from Europe on leave he could marry without seeking permission.
He had no money for air fare, nor did he have any leave time.

Solution: Volunteer for Vietnam, get a 30 day leave in the U.S. before being shipped to Nam; of course, you MOS would be changed
to infantry (111 at that time)

The paperwork took around two months, during that time several of us tried to convince him not to pursue this course of action.
You can't tell a 17 y/o in love anything.
He departed Germany with a 30 day leave to seek his honey.
I  often wondered if he was killed in Vietnam


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## jerry old (Sep 27, 2020)

Navy-the Navy certainly had better schools for those that enlisted, but it required a four year hitch.

Submarines-I just can't imagine being encased in a steel tube traveling underwater-Wow, no wonder they get the best chow in the services.

Pecos,your picture of the bunks on the sub, looks like a troop transport.  The army junked troop ships in the late 60's, troop compartments were an experience I could have done without.  
No wonder I'm not a candidate to take a sea cruise.


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## Lewkat (Sep 27, 2020)

As a young Officer in the Air Force, I was stationed at Sheppard AFB in Wichita Falls, TX.  Surprisingly my chief nurse, a Lt. Col. was an old friend of my moms, so yes, my mother had met my C.O.


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## Pecos (Sep 28, 2020)

jujube said:


> When the Spousal Equivalent went into the Navy, he had "father-and-son" duty with his dad on his first ship. So, yes, I'd say the captain had met his father.....


I think that would be rather nice as long as the son did not work in the same division as the father and as long as the father was not a senior officer.
I have seen one instance where brothers were stationed on the same ship together. They were both in the engineering department, but one was an electrician and the other was an machinist. They were both E-5's as I recall.


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## Pecos (Sep 28, 2020)

Lewkat said:


> As a young Officer in the Air Force, I was stationed at Sheppard AFB in Wichita Falls, TX.  Surprisingly my chief nurse, a Lt. Col. was an old friend of my moms, so yes, my mother had met my C.O.


Oh yeah, LOL you had a "Direct Reporting Thing" going on there.


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## Pecos (Sep 28, 2020)

jerry old said:


> Navy-the Navy certainly had better schools for those that enlisted, but it required a four year hitch.
> 
> Submarines-I just can't imagine being encased in a steel tube traveling underwater-Wow, no wonder they get the best chow in the services.
> 
> ...


When I worked in the shipyard in Pearl Harbor, I installed a lot of electronics equipment on fast attack submarines (diesel and nuclear), but never got the chance to go to sea on one of them because I was too senior (E-7) in my specialty at that point. Quite a few of the guys who worked for me did get to go out for three month trips to maintain the equipment. I think it would have been a nice adventure for a few months, but not for a three year tour.


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## DaveA (Sep 29, 2020)

jerry old said:


> Pecos,your picture of the bunks on the sub, looks like a troop transport. The army junked troop ships in the late 60's, troop compartments were an experience I could have done without.
> No wonder I'm not a candidate to take a sea cruise.


I was on a 1943 era DE in the early 50's and the 3 tier bunks were only marginally better  We were supplied with straps to be used across your upper body and thighs to keep you in the bunk during rough weather.  Didn't use them often but once or twice they came in handy.


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## Keesha (Sep 29, 2020)

Husbands answer? - yes


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## Pappy (Sep 29, 2020)

Yes, I have a letter the Army sent my mom when I went into the Army. I still have and will see if I can find it.


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## jujube (Sep 29, 2020)

DaveA said:


> I was on a 1943 era DE in the early 50's and the 3 tier bunks were only marginally better  We were supplied with straps to be used across your upper body and thighs to keep you in the bunk during rough weather.  Didn't use them often but once or twice they came in handy.



I toured a WWII German sub and a Russian sub from maybe the 1950's at a seafest some years ago.  They made the sleeping quarters of the American subs look something at a ritzy resort.  

I can't imagine how anyone could have existed in one of those without going insane.


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## jerry old (Sep 29, 2020)

After watching 'Das Boat' i don't even want to tour a German Sub


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## Pecos (Sep 29, 2020)

Pappy said:


> Yes, I have a letter the Army sent my mom when I went into the Army. I still have and will see if I can find it.


I did get a lot of letters from mothers asking me to make their son write home since they had not heard from them in: two weeks, two months, or two years. I always sent them letter back telling them that we talked to their son about the importance of writing home. Some of those sons were less than interested in writing home. 

I never got that kind of a letter about a daughter. Are young women more independent than young men?


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## Pappy (Oct 2, 2020)

Found this letter the Army sent my parents. Still going through old stuff I haven’t seen in years.


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## Pecos (Oct 2, 2020)

Pappy said:


> Found this letter the Army sent my parents. Still going through old stuff I haven’t seen in years.
> 
> View attachment 125750


That is a very nice letter and the fact that if was sent out under the signature of a Brigadier General is impressive.


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