# How to properly tell someone they have PMS



## BlunderWoman (Feb 9, 2016)

My middle daughter has PMS bad. She is in complete denial about it. The other day she had turned into this snarly creature and I ventured out and said " Genevieve maybe you will feel different later. I'm pretty sure you are having PMS." The creature became so angry she shook from head to toe turned very read and screamed " I DO NOT HAVE PMS!!!!" That was before she left slamming the door so hard everything on the wall fell off. After she left me and her sisters had a quiet moment & then her sisters both said " Man she's got it bad."

I'm wondering... is there a SAFE way to tell someone they have PMS?


----------



## Falcon (Feb 9, 2016)

Yes.  You simply say, "You have PMS."    Then run like hell.


----------



## BlunderWoman (Feb 9, 2016)

Falcon said:


> Yes.  You simply say, "You have PMS."    Then run like hell.



lol. Well I told her. Her sisters chickened out & were no help at all


----------



## Shalimar (Feb 9, 2016)

Do you have a way of videotaping her behaviour next time she loses it?


----------



## BlunderWoman (Feb 9, 2016)

Shalimar said:


> Do you have a way of videotaping her behaviour next time she loses it?


Excellant! I really suck at that but my oldest daughter is great at sneak capturing. Thanks!


----------



## Shalimar (Feb 9, 2016)

You are welcome. She probably has no idea of her behaviour. Should be an eye opener. Good luck.


----------



## jujube (Feb 9, 2016)

It's the same with telling someone they have a drinking problem.  I have a relative with a drinking problem; she doesn't see it as one.  Her interpretation of it is "why does everyone not want me to have fun?"  Unfortunately, her "fun" is not "fun" for everyone else.


----------



## BlunderWoman (Feb 9, 2016)

jujube said:


> It's the same with telling someone they have a drinking problem.  I have a relative with a drinking problem; she doesn't see it as one.  Her interpretation of it is "why does everyone not want me to have fun?"  Unfortunately, her "fun" is not "fun" for everyone else.


yep. I've seen some of that. Not with my kids *knock wood*


----------



## fureverywhere (Feb 9, 2016)

It's like when you're pregnant. Your moods are flying all over irrationally but for you it makes sense. I remember being in a waiting room at maybe 8 months along and hubby swatted a fly. I burst into tears. I mean he didn't have to kill it, he could have just shooed it out of the room. But yes you can go a bit nuts. Then the physical discomfort too. I would talk to her when it is not that time of the month and just express concern. Maybe her doctor can suggest some ways of easing symptoms?


----------



## BlunderWoman (Feb 9, 2016)

fureverywhere said:


> It's like when you're pregnant. Your moods are flying all over irrationally but for you it makes sense. I remember being in a waiting room at maybe 8 months along and hubby swatted a fly. I burst into tears. I mean he didn't have to kill it, he could have just shooed it out of the room. But yes you can go a bit nuts. Then the physical discomfort too. I would talk to her when it is not that time of the month and just express concern. Maybe her doctor can suggest some ways of easing symptoms?


I tried that fur, but she says there is absolutely NOTHING wrong. Yeah..I would go loony the first week of every pregnancy and after my hormones settled back down I was fine the rest of the pregnancy. I never needed to take a pregnancy test


----------



## Babsinbloom65 (Feb 9, 2016)

BlunderWoman said:


> My middle daughter has PMS bad. She is in complete denial about it. The other day she had turned into this snarly creature and I ventured out and said " Genevieve maybe you will feel different later. I'm pretty sure you are having PMS." The creature became so angry she shook from head to toe turned very read and screamed " I DO NOT HAVE PMS!!!!" That was before she left slamming the door so hard everything on the wall fell off. After she left me and her sisters had a quiet moment & then her sisters both said " Man she's got it bad."
> 
> I'm wondering... is there a SAFE way to tell someone they have PMS?



The only safe way to tell someone they have PMS is if you have your running shoes on and some chocolate in your hands.  Seriously, I had bad PMS until I had a hysterectomy in my late 50's. It wasn't fun, I finally realized on my own that I had it but until then was in complete denial when someone else tried to tell me. If you've said it...then sooner or later your daughter will come out of denial and face it.


----------



## BlunderWoman (Feb 9, 2016)

LOL. My son had a mom and 4 sisters. Occasionally he would bring bags of hersheys kisses home LOL. Once I asked him " Son I'm in the middle of dinner could you run to the store and get your sister some midol? He said " Mom if only I could I would spread midol all over the world." LOL


----------



## RadishRose (Feb 9, 2016)

Babsinbloom65 said:


> View attachment 26690The only safe way to tell someone they have PMS is if you have your running shoes on and some chocolate in your hands.  Seriously, I had bad PMS until I had a hysterectomy in my late 50's. It wasn't fun, I finally realized on my own that I had it but until then was in complete denial when someone else tried to tell me. If you've said it...then sooner or later your daughter will come out of denial and face it.


 That cartoon is too funny!


----------



## SeaBreeze (Feb 9, 2016)

BlunderWoman said:


> My middle daughter has PMS bad. She is in complete denial about it. The other day she had turned into this snarly creature and I ventured out and said " Genevieve maybe you will feel different later. I'm pretty sure you are having PMS." The creature became so angry she shook from head to toe turned very read and screamed " I DO NOT HAVE PMS!!!!" That was before she left slamming the door so hard everything on the wall fell off. After she left me and her sisters had a quiet moment & then her sisters both said " Man she's got it bad."
> 
> I'm wondering... is there a SAFE way to tell someone they have PMS?



I think the 'safest' way is the sincere way.  Wait until you're alone with her and the time is right, tell her how some of what she's doing points to the possibility that she may be suffering with PMS.  I know you haven't done it, but I definitely wouldn't let anyone mock her for it, like her sisters, sometimes siblings can be pretty harsh.  

There's no way I agree that video taping her is a good idea, that's _very _invasive and counter-productive, IMO.  If you really want her to get mad and remain in denial of having a problem at all, and resenting you to boot, something like that will do it. There are other avenues to deal with this in a more loving way between mother and daughter.  

There are some natural ways to help ease the symptoms that she may be interested in, you can tell her about using Lavender Oil when you have a private talk with her, if she decides to try it, you can keep it your little secret with her. You can get a small bottle at the local health food/vitamin store.  That way you show her that you're a friend who wants to help.  Here's some info, I'm sure there are other things that will help too...good luck.   http://www.greenmedinfo.com/blog/lavender-aromatherapy-proven-calm-premenstrual-emotions

The only thing I used for menopausal symptoms like hot flashes was Red Clover Blossom, which is a supplement that is also good for relieving PMS.  As with all supplements, best to research side effects and drug interactions if she's on any prescription meds.


----------



## BlunderWoman (Feb 9, 2016)

SeaBreeze said:


> I think the 'safest' way is the sincere way.  Wait until you're alone with her and the time is right, tell her how some of what she's doing points to the possibility that she may be suffering with PMS.  I know you haven't done it, but I definitely wouldn't let anyone mock her for it, like her sisters, sometimes siblings can be pretty harsh.
> 
> There's no way I agree that video taping her is a good idea, that's _very _invasive and counter-productive, IMO.  If you really want her to get mad and remain in denial of having a problem at all, and resenting you to boot, something like that will do it. There are other avenues to deal with this in a more loving way between mother and daughter.
> 
> ...



Thank you


----------



## SeaBreeze (Feb 9, 2016)

You're very welcome Sharon, good luck.


----------



## vickyNightowl (Feb 9, 2016)

BlunderWoman said:


> My middle daughter has PMS bad. She is in complete denial about it. The other day she had turned into this snarly creature and I ventured out and said " Genevieve maybe you will feel different later. I'm pretty sure you are having PMS." The creature became so angry she shook from head to toe turned very read and screamed " I DO NOT HAVE PMS!!!!" That was before she left slamming the door so hard everything on the wall fell off. After she left me and her sisters had a quiet moment & then her sisters both said " Man she's got it bad."
> 
> I'm wondering... is there a SAFE way to tell someone they have PMS?



How old is she? 

I think a doctors visit is best.


----------



## Bettyann (Feb 11, 2016)

Hi Sharon,
I completely agree with SeaBreeze... it could be that your daughter thought her PMS was held against her because people were disagreeing with her and you were all using that as the way to 'win' whatever you were talking about... I hope that makes sense!  Its apparent you all are close and love each other and things like this happen... but I would use the 'soft approach'... maybe even with "I want to apologize if I hurt you'.... I still remember a couple of years when I was just out of control with PMS and the bad part about it... during those emotional times, you are convinced you are 'right' and really 'seeing things clearly.' 
Anyway, I know you want the best for everyone and just wish you all kinds of luck...somehow we always get 'from here to there' and things will work out! Sending you a hug!
Betty :love_heart:


----------



## Cookie (Feb 11, 2016)

I find it hard to believe that anyone in this day and age, especially an adult, would not be aware of having PMS, as most women get it.  Maybe your daughter is aware when she has PMS, but still has to function and interact with people, albeit with some difficulty.  Maybe a magazine article, left strategically within her view with suggestions and remedies might be helpful and more subtle than mentioning it.


----------



## fureverywhere (Feb 11, 2016)

Maybe a magazine article, left strategically within her view with suggestions and remedies might be helpful and more subtle than mentioning it.

I think that's an excellent idea and so much more subtle than chasing her with a dose of Ativan...If she reads something about it on her own she might be more open to helping herself through it.


----------



## Karen99 (Feb 11, 2016)

BlunderWoman said:


> My middle daughter has PMS bad. She is in complete denial about it. The other day she had turned into this snarly creature and I ventured out and said " Genevieve maybe you will feel different later. I'm pretty sure you are having PMS." The creature became so angry she shook from head to toe turned very read and screamed " I DO NOT HAVE PMS!!!!" That was before she left slamming the door so hard everything on the wall fell off. After she left me and her sisters had a quiet moment & then her sisters both said " Man she's got it bad."
> 
> I'm wondering... is there a SAFE way to tell someone they have PMS?



wow!  I would get PMS bad..and menopause was heaven compared to that.  I would talk to her when she's NOT PMSing..lol "one of us in this room has PMS..I won't say who..I'll just look at the party and whistle."  :flowers:


----------

