# Have you ever known anyone who committed suicide?



## Twixie (Oct 19, 2014)

Many years ago I knew a couple..I never knew they were unhappy...eventually she ran off with another man..

He was gutted..I tried to talk to him..he phoned me up all times of the night and day..saying he was going to hang himself..I would talk him out of it and it would be OK until the next day..He was still deeply in love with her..

One day..my 2 babies were suffering with the flu..and when he phoned I simply said ''Can I call you back in 5 mins..my babies are sick..I will be right back''

During that time, he got a rope, went into the garage, and hung himself....

That was 30 years ago..and I still feel guilty..

It was like trying to save a drowning person..he'd jumped on my back..and I had to swim for both of us..otherwise we both went under!


----------



## Falcon (Oct 19, 2014)

Yes, unfortunately, I have known quite a few. My uncle for one. Others took their own lives because they had contracted
some form of cancer and just couldn't live with it. One was a woman who lived down the street. The others were men.
Two were by carbon monoxide (garden hose in the exhaust pipe of the (engine running car) in the closed garage.
The others were gunshots to their chests.


----------



## Twixie (Oct 19, 2014)

I couldn't have done anymore..Blimey Falcon, you've known a lot of them..

The only number of people in that category I have known, was when I was a kid..men used to gas themselves on a regular basis in our street..by sticking their heads in the gas oven..(carbon monoxide)..

The gas was on a meter..you put 10p in..if the gas ran out because of lack of funds..they were revived..and were an object of ridicule for the rest of their lives!!


----------



## Twixie (Oct 19, 2014)

Usually too much work..too many kids..not enough money..and too much booze!


----------



## SifuPhil (Oct 19, 2014)

Many.

Two in my immediate family, seven friends / acquaintances.


----------



## hollydolly (Oct 19, 2014)

Yes unfortunately  I have known a few who've committed suicide including a member of my own family


----------



## Twixie (Oct 19, 2014)

Wow SifuPhil!

How did you handle it?

Did you expect it/complete surprise?


----------



## Twixie (Oct 19, 2014)

This person was not a member of my family..I tried as hard as I could..It was like he was going to do it anyway...and no-one could stop him....


----------



## SifuPhil (Oct 19, 2014)

Twixie said:


> Wow SifuPhil!
> 
> How did you handle it?
> 
> Did you expect it/complete surprise?



Well, the first one, my uncle, happened when I was 7, so yes, it was a surprise. The second, my brother, I knew it was coming so it was a bit less of a shock.

As for my friends ... well, it was the road they chose.

I handled them the way I always have - a philosophical outlook and a large pepperoni pizza.


----------



## john1948 (Oct 19, 2014)

A friend , hung himself last month, he's out of pain now. I think about it a lot, its hard being afraid to die , then being afraid to live,


----------



## Justme (Oct 19, 2014)

The son of an acquaintance of ours committed suicide, I believe. My male cousin (early 30s) was found dead in his apartment a couple of years ago, I am not sure what the result of the inquest was. But the idiot had been taking illegal drugs so deserved his fate, imo!


----------



## Denise1952 (Oct 19, 2014)

I had a friend that seemed to have everything in the world going for her.  She was pretty, smart, the only female manager in a big company in Portland, she could bake & cook without ever measuring a thing.  A group of us did a lot of activities together, like camping etc.  One time she rode up with me, and we visited a lot of course.  She told me then "Denise, sometimes I just feel like putting a gun to my head".  I wasn't shocked because she often mentioned it.  She said she had a brother that committed suicide, and she believed she was destined to do the same.

I remember telling her how much we would miss her if she did that, and her folks, because they had already lost one child.  I don't know if that was right or wrong to say to her.  I do know it was not my fault, it was her choice.  I had headed for church (no laughing, I did attend church for 30 years) and when I got there some friends were out front.  One said "well, she finally did it" and I asked who what?  He said Angela shot herself in the head.  Even though she talked about it, I still couldn't believe she did it.  I struggle with things, but I just don't have what it takes to off myself I guess.  I still miss her.


----------



## Debby (Oct 19, 2014)

Falcon said:


> Yes, unfortunately, I have known quite a few. My uncle for one. Others took their own lives because they had contracted
> some form of cancer and just couldn't live with it. One was a woman who lived down the street. The others were men.
> Two were by carbon monoxide (garden hose in the exhaust pipe of the (engine running car) in the closed garage.
> The others were gunshots to their chests.




Good stories to trot out in the assisted suicide argument.  Must have been awful for their families to find them like that.


----------



## Debby (Oct 19, 2014)

Justme said:


> The son of an acquaintance of ours committed suicide, I believe. My male cousin (early 30s) was found dead in his apartment a couple of years ago, I am not sure what the result of the inquest was. But the idiot had been taking illegal drugs so deserved his fate, imo!




Nobody deserves to be so unhappy that they resort to this.  It's a tragedy.


----------



## oakapple (Oct 19, 2014)

Yes, I know of about 6 who did this. So very sad. All men, and in all cases because of depression. Not my family thank goodness, but neighbours and people I knew slightly., From drowning, gassing, and hanging. Awful and so tragic.


----------



## SifuPhil (Oct 19, 2014)

nwlady said:


> ...  I struggle with things, but I just don't have what it takes to off myself I guess ...



The one thing I've learned about suicide is that you never know if you're capable of it until your last day. The pain, whether psychological or physiological, can just become overwhelming.


----------



## oakapple (Oct 19, 2014)

SifuPhil said:


> The one thing I've learned about suicide is that you never know if you're capable of it until your last day. The pain, whether psychological or physiological, can just become overwhelming.


Very true! 
It's a fact though, that men far outnumber women who commit suicide.


----------



## SifuPhil (Oct 19, 2014)

oakapple said:


> Very true!
> It's a fact though, that men far outnumber women who commit suicide.



Having once been married for 15 years I understand that fact quite well. :sentimental:


----------



## oakapple (Oct 19, 2014)

Never mind SifuPhil, you came through it and lived to 'tell the tale' as they say.


----------



## SifuPhil (Oct 19, 2014)

oakapple said:


> Never mind SifuPhil, you came through it and lived to 'tell the tale' as they say.



Aye, but the scars ... they remain!


----------



## Denise1952 (Oct 19, 2014)

SifuPhil said:


> The one thing I've learned about suicide is that you never know if you're capable of it until your last day. The pain, whether psychological or physiological, can just become overwhelming.



I would have to agree with that, I believe it to be true.  We never know unless we get to a point where we realize we can't handle it.  Plus, when death is way more inviting then living.


----------



## oakapple (Oct 19, 2014)

Aye indeed! Do you have Scottish [or Yorkshire] ancestry by any chance?! Aye lass, as my Grandad used to say.


----------



## oakapple (Oct 19, 2014)

sorry, the above was for Phil.


----------



## SifuPhil (Oct 19, 2014)

oakapple said:


> Aye indeed! Do you have Scottish [or Yorkshire] ancestry by any chance?! Aye lass, as my Grandad used to say.



No, just a lot of years portraying pirates at Renaissance festivals. It becomes part of one's everyday speech after a while.


----------



## Denise1952 (Oct 19, 2014)

We knew it was for Phil, sometimes he even goes "aye, aye, aye'yai'yai" LOL!!


----------



## oakapple (Oct 19, 2014)

nwlady said:


> We knew it was for Phil, sometimes he even goes "aye, aye, aye'yai'yai" LOL!!


Does he indeed!


----------



## SifuPhil (Oct 19, 2014)

nwlady said:


> We knew it was for Phil, sometimes he even goes "aye, aye, aye'yai'yai" LOL!!



"Aye, aye, aye aye,
I am the Frito Bandito ... "


----------



## Denise1952 (Oct 19, 2014)

SifuPhil said:


> "Aye, aye, aye aye,
> I am the Frito Bandito ... "
> 
> View attachment 10545



I can see you as one of the 3 Amigos for sure


----------



## Debby (Oct 19, 2014)

oakapple said:


> Yes, I know of about 6 who did this. So very sad. All men, and in all cases because of depression. Not my family thank goodness, but neighbours and people I knew slightly., From drowning, gassing, and hanging. Awful and so tragic.




Oh that's just awful!  That family must have felt like they were cursed.


----------



## Falcon (Oct 19, 2014)

YO!  Señor  Bandito,  That's  Si, Si  NOT  Aye, Aye.


----------



## grannyjo (Oct 19, 2014)

Yes,  a boss of mine committed suicide after his wife indicated she wanted to end their marriage.  He hanged himself in the garage of their home while she was away on a business trip.


----------



## SeaBreeze (Oct 19, 2014)

A young guy I worked with, still in his 20s, smart, good-looking, nice person, blew his head off after his girlfriend left him.  I only heard about it through others, he worked out a lot and was a 'bodybuilder', they say he was taking steroids at the time.  Also, a neighbor of mine had a friend who was probably in his late forties, lost his job and fell on hard times.  My neighbor let him live at his house for awhile, and he ended up committing suicide in the neighbor's home...not sure how he killed himself.


----------



## metasegue (Oct 19, 2014)

*I knew a guy who worked with me at the Post Office a couple decades back. He was a Nam vet and had a look in his eye that let you know he was capable of anything. We sort of hung out for awhile till one New Year's night when he threatened me while drunk. I don't react when people do something like that...not immediately. I've found that discretion is indeed, the better part of valour. I joked about the incident and slowly disengaged as his life went out of control. There were confrontations at work , at his home, and with the cops. I normally try to help people who've lost their way...I know how it feels. But, I won't tolerate intimidation of any kind so I just watched as he went over the edge and blew his brains out one morning. He had built a home with a pool and invited everyone to a house warming. I declined, saying my kids demanded my attention. He was so volatile, most people accepted out of fear... never intending to show up. No one did.

Going "Postal" is probably true...several otherwise prosperous and healthy people dusted themselves just in my short time there. Take the most boring job imaginable and give it to people screened for brains. Couple that with a mandate to hire war vets and you get a really explosive culture.*


----------



## Bettyann (Oct 19, 2014)

Yes...a family member...and its hard...but I, thank whatever is holy, do not ascribe to the religious views regarding suicide. When I was a kid, the suicides had to be buried in a far corner of the cemetery...
But worse that THAT is when people say: they were being SELFISH for committing suicide... I genuinely would like to HURT those people, however, life teaches lessons in  way we do not have to take upon ourselves.
I read a good article once that said that people, without 'seeing it'...are committing suicide by the way they conduct their lifestyles, their eating habits, but what they ingest drug wise (especially the Rx drugs). by stupid chances they take, and by their lousy attitudes in general which will lead them to even _worse_ choices in their lifestyles....and then when they die, its called 'natural' or 'accidental'... THAT, to me is JUST as awful.


----------



## Bettyann (Oct 19, 2014)

Interesting, Metasegue, thank you for posting.
I, too, have witnessed so much of this for having 'served god and country' in those stupid wars... I see so many returned from this 'service' in which the killing fields ruined their minds... which simply could not heal. These men (mostly) and women constitute over 65% of the mentally ill homeless on our streets.
 I understand the reaction to his invitations, but how miserably, horribly, devastatingly sad... Thank whatever is good that he is now free from his misery.


----------



## Justme (Oct 20, 2014)

Debby said:


> Nobody deserves to be so unhappy that they resort to this.  It's a tragedy.



The evil so and so had been importing drugs via drug mules, and had served some time in prison for that offence. I have absolutely no sympathy for someone like that he deserved his fate. I am very glad his father, a favourite uncle of mine, didn't live to see it though!


----------



## oldman (Oct 20, 2014)

When we were in high school, the group of guys that I hung with decided we were going to hook off school the next day and go to the county fair. One of our friend's family caught wind of it and told him that if he hooked off they would ground him for a month. So, the next day, he did hook off, but he sat in a chair, put a shotgun in his mouth and the rest you can guess.

 The first company that I had worked for after college, I took an engineering job. The plant manager for a DuPont site came home from a meeting in Wilmington and committed suicide in the garage with the car running. Being a young and new guy, I wasn't told much.

 Then, I also have a friend who's son shot and killed himself in the state of Washington. He was teaching English in China at the schools and met and fell in love with another teacher. He came back to the U.S, to get a job and then she was to come to the U.S., so they could be married. While he was "setting up shop," he received a Dear John letter and committed suicide. They never did recover all of the remains because he drove into the woods, climbed to the top of a mountain or hill and shot himself in the head. They did find the skull. They said the animals drug the rest away, but some of the bones were located. The unusual thing about this incident was that the son came home and told the parents what he was going to do, but he wanted to come home to say "Good-bye." They called the police in Seattle, so when he arrived they picked him up and took him to the hospital. My friend said that his son convinced the people at the hospital that he was OK, so they released him and the next day he did the act. Such a sad story.

My last one is about a fellow co-pilot who found out he had the early signs of ALS. He was to retire in two years. Those of us that knew him and his situation did everything we could to keep his spirits up. He lived in Dallas, which was a city that I did not fly into very often, but when I did, I would always make sure that I visited him without calling first because he was one of these types that didn't want pity, which I tried to explain to him that we were not visiting him out of pity, but because we loved him. He was a great guy. He had confided in a couple of us that when his disease got to the point where he just could no longer handle it that he was going to take care of it. We did take him seriously and had told this to Hospice. They did counsel him, but one night at bedtime, supposedly, he took an over abundance of whatever sleeping medication he was on and was dead by morning. He slept in a hospital bed in his home.  

I read a book on suicide when I was in college and taking my psych course. The book stated that if a person is going to commit suicide, they will accomplish it. It also stated that never think that because someone may say they are going to kill themselves that they are joking or just running at the mouth. Usually, it is a cry for help. We should take them serious and alert a family member and get that person to the ER immediately. I know in Florida there is a rule (for lack of a better word) that if someone threatens to kill themselves, you can call the police and they will pick up that person and take him/her to the hospital for a 3-day evaluation. I think it is called the Baker Act.


----------



## Twixie (Oct 20, 2014)

I remember a lady years ago I worked with..her husband was totally dominant..she said he would demand sex 2 or 3 times a day..and made her wear the most ridiculous clothing for her age..e.g. miniskirts..really high heels..and really low tops.(not a good look when you are 50!)

Anyway..one Sunday afternoon she was watching soaps on the TV..he came in and said ''you want something to watch?...I'll give you something to watch!'' with that he tied her to a chair so she couldn't move..

He then went and got a cord...tied it to a doorknob and jumped off a stool and strangled himself in front of her!


----------



## hollydolly (Oct 20, 2014)

Sorry not making light of this in any way Twixie, but I'm having a hard time trying to imagine how someone can jump off a stool and hang themselves with cord attached to a door knob? Genuine question!!


----------



## LogicsHere (Oct 20, 2014)

There was one girl in my class when I was in high school that committed suicide; she was only 17. There was a second one, my sister-in-law's daughter who took her life about 15 years ago.


----------



## Twixie (Oct 20, 2014)

hollydolly said:


> Sorry not making light of this in any way Twixie, but I'm having a hard time trying to imagine how someone can jump off a stool and hang themselves with cord attached to a door knob? Genuine question!!



Doorknob on the other side of the door?..tight cord?


----------



## 911 (Oct 20, 2014)

Unfortunately, yes.


----------



## Lon (Nov 1, 2014)

I have known two people. One was a physician friend that shot himself in the head. Might have been due to the drug he was taking for Chronic Depression. The other was a good friend that was about to be arrested and indicted for a huge financial scam. He shot himself in the parking lot of a big Mall.


----------



## Butterfly (Nov 1, 2014)

A dear friend in my teenage and early twenties years shot himself because he was in horrible pain from a a back injury and failed surgery.  He struggled with the pain for several years but his doctors either could not or would not prescribe enough or the right kind of meds or find another way to keep the pain at a tolerable level.  I was horrified that he had taken that route, but I must say it did not really surprise me.  He really was in agony.

An attorney I worked with/for made arrangements for his dogs to be cared for, paid up his bills and went home and shot his wife and then himself.   The investigators said he evidently shot his wife, sat down and had some brandy and a cigar and then blew his head off.  I was totally shocked, because he had always seemed like the calmest, most together guy on the planet.  His wife had asked for a divorce, but he seemed to be handling it well enough and was muddling through.  I really liked and respected him (he was quite a character) and to this day I can't really believe he did that, but he did.  Evidently he had been planning it for some time, arranging for the dogs (whom he loved fiercely), paying his bills, setting his affairs in order, and maintaining an apparently calm facade.  And he did it very early on a Saturday morning so no one would probably notice anything wrong until the following Monday.  His grown children found them. 

And a teenage relative (a sweet and talented young man) decided life was too much to cope with, left a note to that effect, and cut his wrists, seemingly out of nowhere.

I can understand why the friend with the unremitting pain killed himself, but the other two, NO.  And never will.


----------



## Sassycakes (Nov 5, 2014)

Unfortunately a few years ago a younger cousin of mine committed suicide. She was Beautiful,owned her own business and was doing great. Then her husband told her he had met someone else and left her. She talked about suicide ,even went for therapy and was on an antidepressant. She struggled with it for 4 years and then her husband finally started divorce procedures. That was probably why she hung herself on Valentine's day,which was their anniversary. Even though she mentioned suicide to me many times I did not think she would do it, but I was wrong and I wish I had done more to help her.


----------



## Lyn (Nov 5, 2014)

Sorrowfully, yes, several, one a close friend from our childhood whose first attempt we were able to foil, but not so fortunate the second time round.


----------



## Warrigal (Nov 5, 2014)

nwlady said:


> I had a friend that seemed to have everything in the world going for her.  She was pretty, smart, the only female manager in a big company in Portland, she could bake & cook without ever measuring a thing.  A group of us did a lot of activities together, like camping etc.  One time she rode up with me, and we visited a lot of course.  She told me then "Denise, sometimes I just feel like putting a gun to my head".  I wasn't shocked because she often mentioned it.  She said she had a brother that committed suicide, and she believed she was destined to do the same.


Suicide tends to have repercussions beyond the one who kills themselves.

The only suicide that I can think of was woman who was mentally ill, schizophrenic I think, and she crawled under the house and shot herself. She had four children who were mostly young adults. The eldest walked in front of a train 12 months to the day after his mother died. He was a medical student. Hard not to think that the first death triggered the second, given the timing.

Anyway I took it in as a lesson.


----------



## Ina (Nov 5, 2014)

Yes Warri, I had a b-in-law that came home from the Army, and he had changed. This good looking kid of 22 just decided that America didn't see what was ahead.  So he didn't see any reason to stick around. I talked to him till I was blue in the face.  But one morning, he didn't open his door, and I had to go get his parents.  He had taken a double barrel shot gun, and left us.


----------



## Oceana (Nov 6, 2014)

Yes. A friend was diagnosed with cancer at 20, and his mother went into hospital for a biopsy at the same time. Their father just couldn't take it and committed suicide. The mother was OK, and the son's cancer went into remission. However when it started to progress again, he also committed suicide. Such a shame - a lovely family.


----------



## ClassicRockr (Dec 5, 2014)

I've never known anyone who committed suicide, but my wife did. Her second husband did after they were divorced. He was a pretty bad alcoholic and she just couldn't take it anymore. No physical abuse done, but DUI arrests were there. His handsome looks and that he loved outdoor stuff was a major attraction to her when they met. I've seen photos of him and "yes" he was a good looking dude. 

After divorcing him, she met a guy that seemed nice (she says), but he had a pot habit that he done where he lived with his brother. He wouldn't stop and she could smell it on him when he came to see her. She ended up ending the relationship. He, while his brother was at home, went into the bathroom and put a gun to his head. She didn't even know he owned a gun!


----------



## jujube (Dec 5, 2014)

My sister-in-law essentially committed suicide.  She was morbidly obese and had many health problems because of her weight.  She just decided one day that she was not going to take any of her medications any more and was dead in less than six months.  She left two young children and a husband behind.   

 My boyfriend's sister OD'd....we are convinced that it was intentional but the official ruling was accidental.


----------



## RadishRose (Dec 5, 2014)

So awful to read some of you have known so many!

 A close friend of mine was at my house with her husband one night when her sister called us. Their mother was found dead in the bathtub after cutting her wrists. I can't begin to describe how that affected my friend.


----------



## AZ Jim (Dec 5, 2014)

I almost never speak of this.  One day at work I got a call from my Mom.  "Your Dad is dead".  I rushed home and he was still lying on the garage floor.  The coroner was there taking his ring and watch off and taking him away.  He died of Carbon Monoxide Poisoning.  He was 52.  I was 24 and married.  I looked in his car and he had taken his two  pet dogs with him (probably sparing Mom of caring for them).  I took care of getting their little bodies properly cremated.  I carried the image of him there in my mind for years.  I am now 78 and I think back at how young he was. The pain of losing your Dad like that is almost unbearable.  He was my best friend, a wonderful Father and I loved him with all my heart.


----------



## AprilT (Dec 5, 2014)

So sorry for all of you that have faced such devastating losses.


----------



## Bullie76 (Dec 6, 2014)

I knew a couple, but neither were close friends. A childhood neigbor did when he was in his early 30's. He was married and had a child. His wife left him and they divorced. He never did adjust and was unhappy, so he shot himself. Another guy who I knew through another friend, killed himself at  cemetary after visiting his parents grave site. He was married and had children. He appeared normal and happy, so it was a shock when he did it. I guess you never know what is going on inside a person.


----------



## Vala (Dec 8, 2014)

It is very sad when it is a young person ends his/her life.  The bad times will pass, but they don't know that.  My sister's step son killed himself with a shotgun in his mother's home where she found him.  

I know elderly people who are going to do it when their quality of life has ended. I asked one of them "how".  She said in the car with my favorite CD playing and her husband beside her.  I know other singles that will also rather than face a lingering death.  My Mom kept asking why she it was taking her so long to die, she had dementia for the last few years.   My doctor told me one of his patients moved to Oregon to end hers.  My husband has Alzheimers and tired to commit suicide,  I stopped him, but not sure it was the wise thing to do looking back at how his life ended.  When I see a husband & wife death on the same day in the obits, I know it is suicide.


----------

