# Should Dad be there at the start ?



## Wren (Apr 18, 2019)

One in five fathers did not attend the birth of their child a study has found, and one in ten skipped two or more births.
Work, traffic, and even watching football were among the main excuses, but in some cases the moms  did not want their partners to be present 

Dads, were you there at the birth of your children or, Moms, did you want your your husband with you ?


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## C'est Moi (Apr 18, 2019)

My husband was with me for the births of both of our sons.   I can't imagine that he wouldn't have been.


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## RadishRose (Apr 18, 2019)

I wouldn't have wanted him, but that's just me, and that was "back then".

 I now believe men should be there for their own sake and to help foster family bonds.


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## Ruth n Jersey (Apr 18, 2019)

Yes, my hubby was there when both my kids were born. I wanted him to be there but as the labor progressed It could have been Santa Claus standing there for all I cared.


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## Falcon (Apr 18, 2019)

Her  doctor  suggested  I wait in the waiting room  until the delivery  was completed. Which I did. They don't like
those  places  crowded  with  "Lookie Loos." They didn't  NEED  me there.


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## jujube (Apr 18, 2019)

I would have loved to have had my husband with me.  We did not have a hospital on our common-defense installation, just a clinic, so expectant mothers were sent about 10 days before due date to the hospital in Ankara.  Off I go and the doctor says I won't deliver for at least two more weeks. My husband was going to catch a flight in a week and stay on leave until I deliver.  Well, nobody told the baby and she promptly pops out bright and early the next morning.

I have a male doctor and a male corpsman as my companions for the blessed event. 

I rushed to the hospital when my daughter went into labor and the first thing she said when she saw me was, "I WANT DADDY HERE!!!"  So, he was there for the whole thing (at the head of the bed, of course, comforting my son-in-law......I was taking care of the bottom of the bed and got to "catch" my granddaughter!)


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## AZ Jim (Apr 18, 2019)

Back in the "ole" days they did not want Dad in the delivery room.


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## Tommy (Apr 18, 2019)

After months of birthing classes, you bet I was there for ours!


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## Sassycakes (Apr 18, 2019)

When I had my first child a son Father's weren't allowed in the delivery room. When I had my second child my daughter my husband was allowed in the room until a problem arose and he had to leave the room. He was worried but honestly by the look on his face he looked happy that he wouldn't be in there. Thankfully everything turned out fine and my baby girl was alright.


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## Ken N Tx (Apr 19, 2019)

Falcon said:


> Her  doctor  suggested  I wait in the waiting room  until the delivery  was completed. Which I did. They don't like
> those  places  crowded  with  "Lookie Loos." They didn't  NEED  me there.





AZ Jim said:


> Back in the "ole" days they did not want Dad in the delivery room.


Ditto.....I did take her to the hospital all 6 times!!!


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## Rosemarie (Apr 19, 2019)

I've had three babies and my husband wasn't present at any of the births. The second two were born at home so he could have been, but I didn't want him there and that was that. He waited outside the door and saw his sons minutes after they were born.


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## Pappy (Apr 19, 2019)

I was there for my two boys, but I was sent home, on my daughters birth, because the stupid nurse said my wife was no where ready. No more than got home, got a call my daughter was born.


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## ClassicRockr (Apr 19, 2019)

I had just got a promotion from warehouseman to Outside Sales, where I got my own sales route. On the day of my daughters birth, my "ex" and I knew I'd be on that route. There were no cell phones back then (1976). Being this was the first day for me, I wanted to show the Sales Manager that I could handle doing a Route. I told a grocery store manager that my wife was having our baby and he told me "get your butt out of here and go to the hospital". By that time, my daughter was already born and her, my "ex" and her mom were on their way back to our apartment. 

My wife agreed with me about going on the Route for the first time, but I truly believe that she didn't like it. Less than a year after my daughter was born, she met another guy, at her brothers business, and filed divorce on me.


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## CeeCee (Apr 19, 2019)

When my kids were born it wasn’t allowed.  He was with me through labor though but when they took me to delivery he wasn’t there...with no epidurals then, I didn’t much care at that point.

Had a very long and painful labor with my daughter ...close to 30 hours.

Wasnt so bad with my son but they induced him.


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## Ronni (Apr 19, 2019)

I have five kids.  They were natural births, at home.  My ex-husband was there for all of them, along with my closest friend who acted as an additional coach and helper.


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## DaveA (Apr 19, 2019)

Sorry -double post-see below.:upset:


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## DaveA (Apr 19, 2019)

Our 4 kids were born in the "waiting room" era for husbands, 1957-62.  You could sit bu your wife while waiting for the big event but when the moment arrived you were ushered out into the "waiting room" with any other expectant fathers that happened to be present.  No discussions about staying or not staying, it was hospital policy.


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## Sassycakes (Sep 3, 2019)

*I was just talking about this thread to my husband and I asked him if he missed being there at the start. He said "I was there at the start, I was the one that got you pregnant wasn't I "! I'm still sitting here laughing at how he missed the point of what I meant. LOL*


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## Lc jones (Sep 3, 2019)

My husband was there for all three of our children’s birth, to tell you the truth my eyes were closed on the delivery I thought it was pretty scary looking at it and it sure does kill the romance when your husband is looking there  and seeing that scary event  as well, but I wouldn’t change it for the world he needs to be there to welcome his children into the world just like I need to be there to welcome my children into the world This was back in the 80s and early 90s


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## squatting dog (Sep 3, 2019)

I watched both my girls pop out.


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## Uptosnuff (Sep 3, 2019)

My husband was there for my daughter's birth and I'm glad he was.  Never mind that he fell asleep during labor, he was there for my delivery.  I had a hard delivery and frankly I'm glad he saw what I went through.  The miracle of birth is something he won't forget.


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## grannyjo (Sep 3, 2019)

For the birth of my/our first child,  my husband was on the golf course.  He'd dropped me off at the hospital then gone off for his usual game of golf.

For my second child,  he was well over 200k away,  attending a dog race.  He thought my labour would be longer.

In both cases,  he didn't turn up for two to three days after the birth to look at his child.


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## Don M. (Sep 3, 2019)

I was there when our first daughter was born....the doctor had me wait in an adjacent waiting room during the final moments, but I was allowed back in within a few minutes.  When our second daughter was born, I was thousands of miles away in Thailand.


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## win231 (Sep 3, 2019)

Yes, dad should be there.  After all, he's partly to blame.
Maybe I should re-phrase that.  He's partly responsible.....


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## terry123 (Sep 4, 2019)

Those days no one was allowed in there.  Fathers and I were there when grands were born.


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## hollydolly (Sep 4, 2019)

I was alone... no family no husband... husband was at sea with the royal Navy... ! I was 57 hours in labour. I wished I'd had someone there...


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## toffee (Sep 4, 2019)

mine was not at mine -but he is the type that when its done hes in there '' first one was  winter snow was so bad  he had to wait till late visiting time due to heavy snow falls --then second one he was at the airport picking up my sister from Canada then by the time he arrived he was born - never again !!!!! lol


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## StarSong (Sep 4, 2019)

My husband was there for all our children's births - our first and then our twins.  

Truth is, he wouldn't have been any less bonded to our children if he'd been brought in ten minutes after the births instead of witnessing them, but he did find it interesting to see them born. 

That said, it made a huge difference for my experience of the births to have such a strong advocate for me and our babies. He saw to my needs and I was secure in the knowledge that he was clear-minded throughout and would have been able to make difficult decisions if need be. 

During medical crises it's an extreme blessing to have someone at hand who you trust with your life. Over the years we've advocated for each other.


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## JustBonee (Sep 4, 2019)

CeeCee said:


> When my kids were born it wasn’t allowed.  He was with me through labor though but when they took me to delivery he wasn’t there...with no epidurals then, I didn’t much care at that point.
> Had a very long and painful labor with my daughter ...close to 30 hours.
> Wasnt so bad with my son but they induced him.



Pretty much my situation also.    Husbands weren't allowed in  delivery room.  At that point in time, I didn't know,  or care,  who was there!


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## DaveA (Sep 4, 2019)

It seems rather trivial whether a husband is in the room at birth or not.  Hopefully it is more important that he be there to support his wife and child throughout their lifetime.  It would seem that with the amount of "ex's" that are referred to here and on other sites, that isn't the case.  That's far sadder than missing the arrival of of the newborn.


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## Knight (Sep 5, 2019)

For sure Dads should be there at the start. Then if possible when the child/children are born. And until the child/children are able to live on it's own. Unforgivable to abandon a child/children that is born handicapped with no chance of ever living on it's own. Divorce doesn't mean the child doesn't exist, just means daily contact for the dad may not happen. Being there at the start is a lifetime commitment.  I had the good fortune to be able to be at the hospital waiting room when our sons were born.


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## fuzzybuddy (Sep 8, 2019)

In the "old days", fathers went allowed in. But today, that's an outdated notion. So  it depends on the new mom & dad. The only other reason for excluding the father is if there was an extreme medical condition of the mother, where surgery was needed. It is a dire situation, when you just don't need another body standing in the way.


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## Binkie55 (Sep 16, 2019)

Yes I was there for all three daughters at birth. But back in the 60's you were confined to the waiting room..


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## old medic (Dec 17, 2019)

Well..... I delivered our 1st child at home, does that count?
Was in the delivery room for the second, Dr wouldn't  let me catch....
SOB didnt cut me a break either.... Delivered one of his other babies about a month earlier, 
After he sent her home saying it was false labor.


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## Packerjohn (Dec 17, 2019)

Yes, I had 2 sons born & I was there both times.  Adopted a girl latter so I was not!


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## Mrs. Robinson (Dec 23, 2019)

He was there for three of the births but not the first one-neither the doc or the hospital allowed it back then (1968).Next one,same hospital,different doc,he was there. He thought he was going to have to deliver #3 as I almost gave birth in the car on the way to the hospital-labor was only 1 hour,26 minutes long. Held off til we got there though-lots of deep breaths and panting lol.


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## Mrs. Robinson (Dec 23, 2019)

Pappy said:


> I was there for my two boys, but I was sent home, on my daughters birth, because the stupid nurse said my wife was no where ready. No more than got home, got a call my daughter was born.



In that nurse`s defense,sometimes it just happens. With my fourth baby,the nurse could not even feel the baby`s head-he was too far up and therefore not even close to being born. In fact,she said "I won`t even say that you are in labor because you are too relaxed." I said "OK,I`ll go home then." She answered "Oh no you won`t-not after last time when you delivered the minute you walked in the door." She was right-less than 5 minutes later,my son was in my arms lol.


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## peppermint (Dec 23, 2019)

husband was with me in the Hospital...At that time, years ago, him and my mom couldn't be with me...But stayed the whole 10 hour's in the
Hospital.… They finally got to see me and the baby, very late at night....
My husband was also with me when I was in the Hospital for my second baby...Same thing as my first....My daughter came into the world very
fast....
We both were with my daughter in law when she was having our first Grandchild....Also we were both with my daughter for her first baby....
I was with her when she had the second baby....Husband was working way up North....It was just her and me....Her hubby was a little late
cause of traffic....


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## Duster (Dec 23, 2019)

Yes, my husband was there.


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## Pecos (Dec 23, 2019)

I was there when my two children were born. Fortunately, I did not have to be at sea during either event.
My Mother-in-Law was there for the first birth (son), and that was very helpful.


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## Capt Lightning (Dec 23, 2019)

I was with Mrs. L for the births of our 3 children.  First one was at the local cottage hospital and the other two were at home.  Wouldn't have missed it and dads were encouraged to be present.   (1970's in Hampshire)


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## Pappy (Dec 23, 2019)

Mrs. Robinson said:


> In that nurse`s defense,sometimes it just happens. With my fourth baby,the nurse could not even feel the baby`s head-he was too far up and therefore not even close to being born. In fact,she said "I won`t even say that you are in labor because you are too relaxed." I said "OK,I`ll go home then." She answered "Oh no you won`t-not after last time when you delivered the minute you walked in the door." She was right-less than 5 minutes later,my son was in my arms lol.



I can understand this to a certain extent, but the nurse was like she didn’t want me there, very snotty. I quote, ‘she’s just having piddly little pains. Go home.’


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## Judycat (Dec 23, 2019)

Frankly, I didn't want mine there because somehow he'd find a way to make it all about him, so I told him stay home until after the baby is born. My youngest son was there with his wife for the birth both his children. He was so mature about it. Really touched my heart.


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## Marlene (Dec 23, 2019)

Depends on what you mean by "be there."  The father of my first child had "departed" before I gave birth so my Mom and Dad were both at the hospital with me.  For my second and third births, the father was in the labor room and in the waiting room with my Mom and Dad.  I did NOT want anyone in the birth room aside from the doctor and nurse.  I still wouldn't if I had it to do all over again.


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## CrackerJack (Dec 24, 2019)

My Husband wanted to be present at the birth of our first baby in 1968, a boy, but he wasn't allowed to witness as I had to have forceps and with our second Son I was in labour for so long he was advised to go home and was disappointed at missing both births.


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