# Your complaints about husbands and especially wives



## Victor (Sep 27, 2015)

I am very curious what complaints men have about their wives, seriously,
when they were younger and now older. Also what complaints wives have
of their husbands. I enjoy hearing other people's complaints about their
spouses. I feel better because I am unmarried.
Among the people I know, no one ever complains about their spouses. But
I assume their marriage is not idyllic, is it? Is anyone's marriage idyllic?
Please, no facetious replies/


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## Falcon (Sep 27, 2015)

If you're so worried about marriage problems, just remain single and enjoy life with your cat.


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## hollydolly (Sep 27, 2015)

What? why _especially_ wives ?


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## boozercruiser (Sep 27, 2015)

Now then. Where do I start?

Actually I am very lucky and am very happily married.
I have only one complaint.
My Wife is rather prone to snoring.
But if I can get her on either of her sides then she stops.

However, if I try too hard to get her off her back while she is asleep, she complains about ME waking her up!

PS I don't snore!layful:


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## applecruncher (Sep 27, 2015)

I have no desire to hear people complain about their spouse/partners. Furthermore, when an outsider says something they get all defensive.  So I keep my mouth shut or change the subject.


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## Linda (Sep 28, 2015)

Complaints?  The good in my husband far outweighs the complaints I could come up with.  A complaint I had back in the 60s when we were dating is I sat out in a HOT vehicle (car then, truck now) outside a wreaking yard while he was inside looking around for good stuff he needed for the latest car he was fixing up.  TODAY Sept 27, 2015 I was doing the exact same thing!!   Only difference is we both have cell phones now so he called me once to ask me to call one of our sons and ask him to get on the internet and see if something (I forget what) off a 1977 Ranchero would fit on a 66 Mustang this or that.  So I was hot and sweaty but I could have stayed home, I had a good book to read, I knew if I got to bored I could get $2 out of my purse and go in the wreaking yard and walk around looking for my husband.  On the bright side, I only sat there about 40 minutes and the best part is I am happy my husband can still get excited about junk yards and fixing up old cars.  At lest he's not out gambling, going to bars and or chasing wild women.  Or God forbid, spending his days in front of the TV. 

I could give other examples along these lines but I guess there is no reason to.  After 50 years of marriage I'll say, for every complaint I have I can come up with 10 good things about my sweetie and I think he could with me too --- except he's too busy thinking about cars and fishing.


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## Ken N Tx (Sep 28, 2015)

Linda said:


> Complaints?  The good in my husband far outweighs the complaints I could come up with.  A complaint I had back in the 60s when we were dating is I sat out in a HOT vehicle (car then, truck now) outside a wreaking yard while he was inside looking around for good stuff he needed for the latest car he was fixing up.  TODAY Sept 27, 2015 I was doing the exact same thing!!   Only difference is we both have cell phones now so he called me once to ask me to call one of our sons and ask him to get on the internet and see if something (I forget what) off a 1977 Ranchero would fit on a 66 Mustang this or that.  So I was hot and sweaty but I could have stayed home, I had a good book to read, I knew if I got to bored I could get $2 out of my purse and go in the wreaking yard and walk around looking for my husband.  On the bright side, I only sat there about 40 minutes and the best part is I am happy my husband can still get excited about junk yards and fixing up old cars.  At lest he's not out gambling, going to bars and or chasing wild women.  Or God forbid, spending his days in front of the TV.
> 
> I could give other examples along these lines but I guess there is no reason to.  After 50 years of marriage I'll say, for every complaint I have I can come up with 10 good things about my sweetie and I think he could with me too --- except he's too busy thinking about cars and fishing.



  Sounds like a good man..


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## SifuPhil (Sep 28, 2015)

AZ Jim said:


> I hope you are kidding?!



Yeah, that pretty much killed anything I was going to say ...


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## QuickSilver (Sep 28, 2015)

I suppose it depends on who you are married to..


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## applecruncher (Sep 28, 2015)

Some people do a passive-aggressive thing when complaining about their spouse/partner. By that I mean they will tell a gathering of people about something the other person did/does but frame it in (what they think is) a funny/cute way but the intention is to humiliate the target who is sitting right there. Others will nod, smile, chuckle. I hate that, and I’ve actually turned and walked away from the complainer in the middle of their sentence – refusing to be a part of their little game.


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## Cookie (Sep 28, 2015)

Maybe they don't have a good friend to discuss things with or maybe can't afford a therapist.


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## applecruncher (Sep 28, 2015)

Maybe, maybe, maybe. I suppose one could try to find excuses for such behavior, but there _is_ no excuse.

In the example I referred to money (or lack of insurance) for a therapist is not an issue, and that’s putting it mildly. But such people often see nothing wrong with their actions, and even on the outside chance they did go to a therapist. therapy doesn’t always work.

As far as not having a friend to talk to, some people just don’t enjoy having a “friendship” where someone complains about their spouse/partner and berates them in front of other people. For those who _do_ enjoy it, well, whatever.


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## Shirley (Sep 28, 2015)

I have known women who complained a lot about their husbands to me. Funny thing is, as soon as they died, they became saints.


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## fureverywhere (Sep 28, 2015)

Definitely as I've gotten older I appreciate him so much more. I wish I could have understood him like I do now when I was twenty five. He was always a workaholic. But just because he wanted to keep us all comfortable. The only thing that makes me daffy is when he is home the TV has to be on. If he could watch and drive he'd have one in the car too...the bathroom, the kitchen. I don't think I even know how to turn the one on upstairs.

But you learn to compromise. We've found shows we can watch together sometimes and he listens to me describe all the newest books I've read. Or he watches TV and I read. We're way closer than a decade or two ago.


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## Cookie (Sep 28, 2015)

AC -- A support network or supportive friend to talk to if there is a problem with a jerk of a wife/husband might in be helpful, referring someone to a shelter if there is abuse, etc. --- total jerks exist in great numbers and lots of them are married.


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## Kadee (Sep 28, 2015)

A sad side on complaining about Husbands/ Partners , .. 64 Yes 64 women have been killed by their ex partners THIS YEAR..  in Australia ..  and we are only into the 9 th month of the year ....Most had court orders in place . In South Aus a young mother dissapeared , just over a month ago.....her partener has been charged after her body was found under a newly concreted tool shed floor at His Mothers House .. ( They drew the money out of the deceased woman's bank account to buy the cement) 

I have known of violent women who assaulted/ killed  their partners but for some reason it rarely makes the news, for some reason ?


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## Shalimar (Sep 28, 2015)

Hmm. Many women  are afraid to complain out of fear of being stigmatised/discounted etc. Until this dismissive attitude disappears, we are going to continue to die at the hands of our abusers--usually husbands or  boy friends, either past or present. Please ladies, complain, your life may depend on it!


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## Kadee (Sep 28, 2015)

Shalimar said:


> Hmm. Many women  are afraid to complain out of fear of being stigmatised/discounted etc. Until this dismissive attitude disappears, we are going to continue to die at the hands of our abusers--usually husbands or  boy friends, either past or present. Please ladies, complain, your life may depend on it!


Most of the poor women who have been killed by their partners this year had left ,and had court orders in place, a lady was run off the road recently by a ex partner he then bashed her with a iron bar ... Unfortunately she had complained to the police not lone before being killed .,It's all very sad ..our new PM has allocated more money to try to tackle the tragic deaths of the women who in many cases were young mothers ..


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## Shalimar (Sep 28, 2015)

Kadee it happens here too. Sadly, unless he is jailed for battery etc.  little can be done if the man wishes to harm the woman. Too often they are killed. Then he is locked up. Shelters and relocation are essential preemptive strikes.


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## SeaBreeze (Sep 28, 2015)

Victor said:


> I enjoy hearing other people's complaints about their
> spouses. I feel better because I am unmarried.



A little Schadenfreude going on there Victor? Sorry, I won't be an enabler.   https://www.seniorforums.com/showth...ou-Have-A-Touch-of-It?highlight=schadenfreude



Linda said:


> The good in my husband far outweighs the complaints I could come up with. After 50 years of marriage I'll say, for every complaint I have I can come up with 10 good things about my sweetie and I think he could with me too --- except he's too busy thinking about cars and fishing.



I'm with you Linda, Victor will get no pleasure from my answers.   We just celebrated our 39th anniversary this month, and we lived together a couple of years before that.  I'm very much in love with my husband, and he is with me...we're best friends.  My "complaints" would be just petty annoyances, like spilling too much water on the edges of the sinks when when he washes something or brushes his teeth.  The good far outweighs the "bad" also, lucky to have him by my side all these years, and from how he acts and what he tells me, he feels the same. :love_heart:


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## imp (Sep 28, 2015)

Victor said:


> .... *I feel better because I am unmarried.*......



A contributory factor to answering your post is whether or not _you _were ever married!    imp


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## applecruncher (Sep 28, 2015)

> A little Schadenfreude going on there Victor? Sorry, I won't be an enabler.



umm hmm. :wink:


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## imp (Sep 28, 2015)

Kadee46 said:


> A sad side on complaining about Husbands/ Partners , .. 64 Yes *64 women have been killed by their ex partners *THIS YEAR..  in Australia ..  and we are only into the 9 th month of the year ....Most had court orders in place . In South Aus a young mother dissapeared , just over a month ago.....her partener has been charged after her body was found under a newly concreted tool shed floor at His Mothers House .. ( They drew the money out of the deceased woman's bank account to buy the cement)
> 
> I have known of violent women who assaulted/ killed  their partners but for some reason it rarely makes the news, for some reason ?



Terrible! 7 each month. 1 every 4 days. Population just under 24 million people, is all. In 2002. there were 787 spousal murders in the US, population 288 million.

Australia, rate per year 85 spousal murders. Population USA 10 times as great, murder rate 10 times as great: It is virtually the same story here. Terrible!    imp


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## Shalimar (Sep 28, 2015)

In Canada it is improving. Although 59 women were murdered by spouses in 2011, this is a 46% drop from 1991. Still horrific.


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## Ken N Tx (Sep 29, 2015)

fureverywhere said:


> But you learn to compromise. We've found shows we can watch together sometimes and he listens to me describe all the newest books I've read. Or he watches TV and I read. We're way closer than a decade or two ago.



..I have been retired for 7 years now and we have been together 57 years!! The beginning was a lot of turmoil but these last 7 have been great!!!!!


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## Victor (Sep 29, 2015)

Look, I g*et no pleasure* from hearing about tragedy and abuse.
I hate it as much as you do. 

By complaint I meant regular stuff like incompatibility,
sex or money issues, children, lack of romance, etc.

Maybe posters are afraid their spouse will read it on this forum.


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## Linda (Sep 29, 2015)

Ken N Tx said:


> View attachment 22112..I have been retired for 7 years now and we have been together 57 years!! The beginning was a lot of turmoil but these last 7 have been great!!!!!


Ken, do you and your wife have separate hobbies and interests besides the things you like doing together?  We do and I think that is important for some couples.  I am not interested in the goings on in my husband's shop but sometimes I take a book out there and read while he works on his various projects.  We occasionally go out on dinner and movie dates too.


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## Ken N Tx (Sep 30, 2015)

Linda said:


> Ken, do you and your wife have separate hobbies and interests besides the things you like doing together?  We do and I think that is important for some couples.  I am not interested in the goings on in my husband's shop but sometimes I take a book out there and read while he works on his various projects.  We occasionally go out on dinner and movie dates too.



..We have separate hobbies and likes..We shop/movies together go out two-steppin' ..


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## IKE (Sep 30, 2015)

We've been married over 38 years and together 40 and have had our squabbles through the years just like every other married couple but I can honestly say without any hesitation that if I could turn back the clock and start over I would pick her again, hopefully she feels the same way.


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## Debby (Sep 30, 2015)

applecruncher said:


> Some people do a passive-aggressive thing when complaining about their spouse/partner. By that I mean they will tell a gathering of people about something the other person did/does but frame it in (what they think is) a funny/cute way but the intention is to humiliate the target who is sitting right there. Others will nod, smile, chuckle. I hate that, and I’ve actually turned and walked away from the complainer in the middle of their sentence – refusing to be a part of their little game.




Yeah, I hate that kind of thing too.  Not nice, not funny.  I'd rather be known (if for anything) as someone who lifts up people and including in the eyes of others.  So I  only share good stuff about folks.  

So Victor, no complaints but just in case you're thinking of gettin'hitched, be considerate, be loving and respect her and unless you picked a nut case, you're unlikely to have anything to complain about and neither will she.


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## Debby (Sep 30, 2015)

Victor said:


> Look, I g*et no pleasure* from hearing about tragedy and abuse.
> I hate it as much as you do.
> 
> By complaint I meant regular stuff like incompatibility,
> ...




Are you planning on writing a book and looking for good story lines?  I think most of the folks here aren't going to give you that because from what I've seen, we all seem pretty happy, content, whatever you want to call it.




Which reminds me, I haven't seen Josiah lately?  Are he and I just missing one another or has he been away?


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## imp (Oct 2, 2015)

fureverywhere said:


> Definitely as I've gotten older I appreciate him so much more. I wish I could have understood him like I do now when I was twenty five. He was always a workaholic. But just because he wanted to keep us all comfortable. The only thing that makes me daffy is when he is home the TV has to be on. If he could watch and drive he'd have one in the car too...the bathroom, the kitchen. I don't think I even know how to turn the one on upstairs.
> 
> But you learn to compromise. We've found shows we can watch together sometimes and he listens to me describe all the newest books I've read. Or he watches TV and I read. We're way closer than a decade or two ago.



*"I wish I could have understood him like I do now when I was twenty five"

*Basically, you wish you knew THEN, what you know now?     imp


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## imp (Oct 2, 2015)

*Gotta be More  to mIt!!*



Victor said:


> I am very curious what complaints men have about their wives, seriously,
> when they were younger and now older. Also what complaints wives have
> of their husbands. I enjoy hearing other people's complaints about their
> spouses. *I feel better because I am unmarried.*
> ...



Firstly, were you ever encumbered by marriage!

Those who never complain about their spouses, would do so at their own risk!

Idyllic? A wonderfully descriptive word proving existence of a netherworldly place!

No facetiousness here. That means "humorous". No humor connected here, only downtrodden mens' beliefs!   imp


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## QuickSilver (Oct 3, 2015)

Can anyone say anything is idyllic?  I've never encounter it... but I don't know what idyllic really is....  can you define it?


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## Capt Lightning (Oct 3, 2015)

Nobody is perfect, but it's those imperfections that make us what we  are and shapes our personality.  If you love a person, then you love  them as they are.  I've been married 42 years and like IKE, if I could  do it again, I'd choose the same girl.

(If she was wise, she'd probably choose somebody rich )


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## vickyNightowl (Jan 31, 2016)

Shirley said:


> I have known women who complained a lot about their husbands to me. Funny thing is, as soon as they died, they became saints.



My friends father in law passed away,we went to the wake and I sat next to the widow and was telliing her my condolenses she said to me that she was glad he was gone and why should she ssaay otherwise when it would be a lie.
I respected her honesty because most would react like your friends did.,


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## Linda (Jan 31, 2016)

Well, its coming up on 51 years for us in just a couple days.  It hasn't been enough time though, I'd love a few more years.  Complaints?  Well, I bought him some snacks to eat while he was fishing and he ate most of them while he was sitting in the recliner watching TV.  Should I divorce him for that??  I don't know, I paid almost $5 for those smoked almonds!


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## mitchezz (Feb 1, 2016)

51 years? Well guess you've got each other sized up by now. Let him off for the smoked almonds...........as long as it was a first offence.


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## Linda (Feb 1, 2016)

Ok mitchezz, I guess I'll let it slide this time.  It was his first offence.


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## mitchezz (Feb 1, 2016)

Linda said:


> Ok mitchezz, I guess I'll let it slide this time.  It was his first offence.



I think in this case some hours of Community Service would be a fair punishment..........number of hours and work to be done to be decided by you.


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## Babsinbloom65 (Feb 1, 2016)

I think for every complaint I might have about my Honey...he could come up with two for me. :love_heart:  We have our ups and downs just like every other couple...he's mine and I'm keeping him!


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## tnthomas (Feb 1, 2016)

Smoked almonds are awesome!


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## Linda (Feb 1, 2016)

tnthomas said:


> Smoked almonds are awesome!


 True that, but if you are going to sit in your recliner and eat them it's cheaper to eat out of the can (Blue Diamond canned Almonds are great as I'm sure you know.) than in little individual packs.  Next time he goes fishing I'll just throw in a whole can I guess.  That'll teach him, huh?


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## fureverywhere (Feb 1, 2016)

Nobody is perfect, but it's those imperfections that make us what we  are and shapes our personality.  If you love a person, then you love  them as they are.  I've been married 42 years and like IKE, if I could  do it again, I'd choose the same girl.

That says it nicely. Would you marry them again? If you can say absolutely without hesitation YES then that is the lid for your pot...and I would say yes absolutely because Darius Rucker hadn't even been conceived in 1986...but seriously. We had so many years with him being Sonny Corleone and me the meek mouse.

Now with his illness he has mellowed and I became Joe Pesci. But I will be with him for the rest of his life if not mine. That says it all...






although now we kind of resemble





Okay NOT THAT BAD


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## SifuPhil (Feb 2, 2016)

Linda said:


> Well, its coming up on 51 years for us in just a couple days.  It hasn't been enough time though, I'd love a few more years.  Complaints?  Well, I bought him some snacks to eat while he was fishing and he ate most of them while he was sitting in the recliner watching TV.  Should I divorce him for that??  I don't know, I paid almost $5 for those smoked almonds!



LOL!

Aw, let him off with a warning - smoked almonds are yummy!


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## Ken N Tx (Feb 2, 2016)




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## Sassycakes (Feb 2, 2016)

Hubby and I have  been married 50 yrs now,and yes we both have flaws and aren't perfect.He complains that I worry about him too much because, I don't let him do things that I
 feel at his age he should just relax now and enjoy himself. I think it angers him because he thinks I feel like he is an old man. His chief complaint about me is that  I do too much
for others and don't put myself first. The best thing we ever did was get married,have a wonderful family and are still in Love as much as we were the day we married. I don't want to spend one second on earth  without him.


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## Ken N Tx (Feb 29, 2016)




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