# I'm Not "Cheap" - I'm "Thrifty"



## SifuPhil (Aug 23, 2013)

So here's how far I go these days to save a few dollars ...

As you might know by now I'm fond of coffee. Hell, "fond" nothing - I'm ADDICTED to caffeine, and outside of heroin and cigarettes I don't know of a worse habit to break.

Not that I'd _want_ to. 

But here's where the che - um, _thrifty_ side of me comes out ... I've got this one coffee maker that is quite old; _so_ old, in fact, that the plastic lid on the pot has warped to the point where the little pause-and-serve gizmo beneath the filter basket no longer makes contact with it. In a word, when you try to make a fresh 10-cup pot of java the brew refuses to leave the filter basket, instead backing up until it overflows all over the counter and thence to the floor. 

Which isn't quite a disaster, but when SnagglePuss and Tigger see it they start lapping up the hot brew. THAT'S when the real problems start - Snaggle starts to literally climb the walls, while Tigger jumps on the loveseat and starts dry-humping the pillow that says "_Welcome to Niagara Falls_".




*The Offending Machine, 
with Fork In Place*

Rather than spend the measly $10 or so to get a new one at the Dollar Store I've come up with a system that would make Rube Goldberg proud. I rolled up a strip of duct tape and stuck it to the top of the lid. This is what I call the *Temporary Accessory for Providing Egress* (_*TAPE*_).

When it's time to brew a fresh pot I merely slip the pot into its usual place and then deploy the second phase of my invention - the _*FORK*_ (*Fixed Orthogonal Replacement Kit*). I gently (and skillfully, if truth be known) wedge the tines of the fork upside-down so that they contact the TAPE, while the rounded back of the FORK makes contact and pushes upward on the filter basket valve, thus allowing free, non-spilling flow of the hot coffee.


*FORK in position*


*Exploded view of 
FORK and TAPE*


*Close-up of Filter 
Basket Valve *


I DO have a back-up coffee pot, of course - what coffee-hound wouldn't? - but it's only a 4-cup machine, which is sort of like giving a Great White shark a bag of airline peanuts for dinner.



*Party pot and Wimpy pot*


So for the price of approx. 6" of duct tape and the use of an already-present common kitchen utensil I have once again foiled the robber barons of Big Industry - HA!


----------



## Diwundrin (Aug 23, 2013)

:clap: It warms the heart to learn of your loyalty to a good and faithful servant in it's terminal years.  Well done sir.

It's not about the money, some gadgets just deserve more than casual interment in the bin.  I'm sure it's extremely grateful for your care,
.... and  the disability aids.


----------



## That Guy (Aug 23, 2013)

Ever hear of cowboy coffee, Phil.  Ya just boil some water and dump in the smashed up beans . . . and enjoy.


----------



## SifuPhil (Aug 23, 2013)

Diwundrin said:


> :clap: It warms the heart to learn of your loyalty to a good and faithful servant in it's terminal years.  Well done sir.
> 
> It's not about the money, some gadgets just deserve more than casual interment in the bin.  I'm sure it's extremely grateful for your care,
> .... and  the disability aids.



Heck, it's a member of my nuclear family at this point. I just can't see myself taking it to the ASPCCM yet ... I'd rather it die at home, among those who love it.



That Guy said:


> Ever hear of cowboy coffee, Phil.  Ya just boil some water and dump in the smashed up beans . . . and enjoy.



You mean ...

... _broke-back beans_? :adjoint:

Thanks, but I'll stick to my TAPE. 



(See what I did there?)


----------



## JustBonee (Aug 23, 2013)

Ya know, sometimes spending a few dollars, or in this case 10 .. might save you a disaster down the line.... 
a meltdown or a fire.  .. all over $10.  :greedy_dollars:    Silly boy!


----------



## Anne (Aug 23, 2013)

*There, you fixed it, Phil!!!!   :lofl:*


----------



## SifuPhil (Aug 23, 2013)

Boo's Mom said:


> Ya know, sometimes spending a few dollars, or in this case 10 .. might save you a disaster down the line....
> a meltdown or a fire.  .. all over $10.  :greedy_dollars:    Silly boy!



... but if there's a fire, then I'd have to be rescued by firemen who would then as a standard procedure have to transport me via ambulance to the local hospital where a crack team of doctors would check me out by passing me to the head nurse who in turn would delegate my care to some hot young candy-striper who falls in love with me when she hears about how I saved SnagglePuss and Tigger from the Dancing Flames of Doom by selflessly dashing back into the burning building and carrying them out one at a time in my mouth because my hands had been totally burned from the TAPE & FORK invention and let's hope for pity's sake she doesn't hear about how I forgot my roomie was in there as well.

:sentimental:



Anne said:


> *There, you fixed it, Phil!!!!   :lofl:*



I done good. I proud. *preen, preen*

I get cookie?


----------



## TICA (Aug 23, 2013)

Good job but I think there might be an easier way.   If you have an old pen that has the spring in it, use it to extend the spring on the basket.  Or better yet, if you have a cork or bottle cap, tape that to the top of the pot then you won't need the fork.  Just a suggestion..... (been there - done that).

Either way, enjoy the java!


----------



## Ozarkgal (Aug 23, 2013)

]





SifuPhil said:


> ... but if there's a fire, then I'd have to be rescued by firemen who would then as a standard procedure have to transport me via ambulance to the local hospital where a crack team of doctors would check me out by passing me to the head nurse who in turn would delegate my care to some hot young candy-striper who falls in love with me when she hears about how I saved SnagglePuss and Tigger from the Dancing Flames of Doom by selflessly dashing back into the burning building and carrying them out one at a time in my mouth because my hands had been totally burned from the TAPE & FORK invention and let's hope for pity's sake she doesn't hear about how I forgot my roomie was in there as well.
> /QUOTE]



 When you get the bill for the ambulance, local hospital and crack team of doctors, you won't have two cents left to rub together for a cup of coffee, let alone enough dough to woo a young candy striper....better buy a new pot!


----------



## SifuPhil (Aug 24, 2013)

TICA said:


> Good job but I think there might be an easier way.   If you have an old pen that has the spring in it, use it to extend the spring on the basket.  Or better yet, if you have a cork or bottle cap, tape that to the top of the pot then you won't need the fork.  Just a suggestion..... (been there - done that).
> 
> Either way, enjoy the java!



You'd be amazed at all the things I tried. I no longer have any of my tools or boxes of "parts", so I just went with what my roomie had in the kitchen drawers, which was not much either.

The pen springs would be too small and weak compared to the basket spring, but the cork / bottle top idea is a good one. Unfortuantely, no corks or bottle tops around here.



Ozarkgal said:


> ]
> 
> When you get the bill for the ambulance, local hospital and crack team of doctors, you won't have two cents left to rub together for a cup of coffee, let alone enough dough to woo a young candy striper....better buy a new pot!



Yeah, that's true too ...


----------



## That Guy (Aug 24, 2013)

Better, yet . . . just chew them beans...


----------



## SifuPhil (Aug 24, 2013)

That Guy said:


> Better, yet . . . just chew them beans...



No, my friend, if I'm going to chew anything it's going to be coca leaves, just like the natives of Bolivia do.

ThenI'llbewritinglikethisandI'llhaveathousandpostsaday!

layful:


----------



## GDAD (Aug 25, 2013)

SIFUPHIL;  I HOPE THAT FORK WASN'T THE ONE THAT WAS USED IN ANOTHER POSTING.
                  THE ONE, THAT HAD TO BE EXTRACTED :confusion:


----------



## SifuPhil (Aug 25, 2013)

GDAD said:


> SIFUPHIL;  I HOPE THAT FORK WASN'T THE ONE THAT WAS USED IN ANOTHER POSTING.
> THE ONE, THAT HAD TO BE EXTRACTED :confusion:



I guess those are the tines that bind ... 


I know - that wasn't a very knife thing to say.


----------



## Anne (Aug 25, 2013)

SifuPhil said:


> I guess those are the tines that bind ...
> 
> 
> I know - that wasn't a very knife thing to say.





No, but it was a pretty sharp comment.


----------



## Pappy (Aug 25, 2013)

And the dish ran away with the spoon......:sobad:


----------



## That Guy (Aug 25, 2013)




----------



## Rainee (Aug 26, 2013)

Thats a good one Phil... I`d do the same to get the coffee, I have weaned my self off a lot of the 
cups of coffee I used to have as I used to do night duty at the hospital and to stay awake or alert we 
had coffee on hand so that was my fix.. but I agree I`d do the same like you if that was the only thing 
broken.. if it works why pay $10 if its not dangerous..


----------

