# Only adult in the room



## gennie (Feb 13, 2020)

In dealing with your children, do you sometimes feel that you are still the only adult in the room although you are 75+ and the children are 50+?  Do you or should  you ever stop feeling that it is 'your room.'


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## Aunt Bea (Feb 13, 2020)

gennie said:


> In dealing with your children, do you sometimes feel that you are still the only adult in the room although you are 75+ and the children are 50+?  *Do you or should  you ever stop feeling that it is 'your room*.'



Hang in there, it ain't over 'til it's over!


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## Pepper (Feb 13, 2020)

I have the opposite problem.


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## StarSong (Feb 13, 2020)

gennie said:


> In dealing with your children, do you sometimes feel that you are still the only adult in the room although you are 75+ and the children are 50+? * Do you or should  you ever stop feeling that it is 'your room.'*


Could you explain this a bit?  I'm not getting your drift.


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## hollydolly (Feb 13, 2020)

Pepper said:


> I have the opposite problem.


* me too*...I'll often ask my 40 something daughter, when she became the mother ?


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## Pinky (Feb 13, 2020)

hollydolly said:


> * me too*...I'll often ask my 40 something daughter, when she became the mother ?


I say the same to my daughter. The thing is, she's so knowledgeable. When did they learn so much without our help?


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## gennie (Feb 13, 2020)

Sorry, Poorly worded.  By 'your/my room' I mean a time that you are witnessing someone you love doing something childish, stupid or dangerous and you feel like it is your responsibility to try to stop it but  you know it is not your job or place to have to or even try to stop it.  Where is the line between being supportive and enabling?

Edit: When do you condone and support irresponsible behavior?  When is it your place to even  know it?  When should you be the adult and stop it or when do you say "not my place/problem" and close your eyes?


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## gennie (Feb 13, 2020)

StarSong said:


> Could you explain this a bit?  I'm not getting your drift.


S0rry.  See below


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## Gardenlover (Feb 13, 2020)

More times than not, I feel like the mischievous, wandering child.

BTW - All who wander are not lost.


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## Gardenlover (Feb 13, 2020)

gennie said:


> S0rry.  See below


You mean above???


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## Pecos (Feb 13, 2020)

gennie said:


> In dealing with your children, do you sometimes feel that you are still the only adult in the room although you are 75+ and the children are 50+?  Do you or should  you ever stop feeling that it is 'your room.'


Nope, my children are in their 50's and they are pretty mature.


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## CinnamonSugar (Feb 13, 2020)

If it's something really important I say, "I'm only going to mention this once..." then I say what's on my mind and I don't bring it up again.  If they are receptive, they'll get it the first time.  If not, I'm not going to nag.


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## Aunt Bea (Feb 14, 2020)

gennie said:


> Sorry, Poorly worded.  By 'your/my room' I mean a time that you are witnessing someone you love doing something childish, stupid or dangerous and you feel like it is your responsibility to try to stop it but  you know it is not your job or place to have to or even try to stop it.  Where is the line between being supportive and enabling?
> 
> Edit: When do you condone and support irresponsible behavior?  When is it your place to even  know it?  *When should you be the adult and stop it or when do you say "not my place/problem" and close your eyes?*



Go with your gut!

_"Wise men don't need advice. Fools won't take it."_- Benjamin Franklin


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## StarSong (Feb 14, 2020)

gennie said:


> Sorry, Poorly worded.  By 'your/my room' I mean a time that you are witnessing someone you love doing something childish, stupid or dangerous and you feel like it is your responsibility to try to stop it but  you know it is not your job or place to have to or even try to stop it.  Where is the line between being supportive and enabling?
> 
> Edit: When do you condone and support irresponsible behavior?  When is it your place to even  know it?  When should you be the adult and stop it or when do you say "not my place/problem" and close your eyes?


Thanks for the explanation.  

Sure there are times when I want to (and sometimes do) chime in with advice. It may fall on deaf ears and it may not. Their choice. As a parent, it will never stop being my job to try to watch out for my kids. 

Likewise, my children sometimes give me advice. Sometimes I follow it, sometimes I don't, but I always thoughtfully consider it. These are people who want what's best for me, just as I do for them.


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## toffee (Feb 14, 2020)

my youngest son is like my father ''' do this and that ==dont forget to lock up blah blah


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## Knight (Feb 14, 2020)

We have an understanding with our sons. Don't interfere in their lives and only offer advice when asked. 

Included in that understanding  if the advice isn't followed no hard feelings. They were raised to think for themselves & be independent. They are & don't ask for money


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