# Living alone and health



## Cameron (Jul 14, 2021)

While i am in reasonable health at the moment , having gone through cancer and then two surgeries for radiation damage in the back of my mind is how I can deal with failing health or an injury while retired alone.   The health system is great in Canada albeit with the delays of a social system and bureaucracy but my biggest concern is the small things such as having a someone drive me treatment , cooking meals etc while ill.  

I guess one figures it out and uses paid services where need be but being alone not having someone around at times like that seems to be my biggest worry as i go through retirement


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## Pinky (Jul 14, 2021)

Is there a service in your area that has volunteers take you to/from appointments? How about Meals On Wheels?


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## JustBonee (Jul 14, 2021)

Cameron said:


> While i am in reasonable health at the moment , having gone through cancer and then two surgeries for radiation damage in the back of my mind is how I can deal with failing health or an injury while retired alone.   The health system is great in Canada albiet with the delays of a social system and bureacracy but my biggest concern is the small things such as having a someone drive me treatment , cooking meals etc while ill.
> 
> I guess one figures it out and uses paid services where need be but being alone not having someone around at times like that seems to be my biggest worry as i go through retirement



Yes,  it's something that all older people who live alone think about....   myself among them.
Like Pinky said,    check out services in your area,   and have any numbers at your disposal  if needed.


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## Robert59 (Sep 10, 2021)

I'm living alone now because my woman friend left with her sister back to Indiana. She might be gone for three weeks or till Christmas. I have a lot health problems I have deal with for myself like Diabetes, eye shots to take every month, etc. No family or friends to depend on because they died or moved away.


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## Remy (Sep 10, 2021)

I too wonder in older age how I'll be. I'm single and never had kids. If I can't drive, this town has a door to door van service associated with the public bus system that is only about 2 dollars each way. So they will take you to the front of a store and back to your home. I see the van often. Not sure how many they have. 

There is also the in home support services but I don't know how low income you have to be to have that. I'd prefer not having help in the house and want to say as independent as possible. As we all do of coarse.


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## WheatenLover (Sep 11, 2021)

I have read articles about people in your situation getting a roommate (like a college student) and giving them free rent and utilities in exchange for the help. The biggest drawback is finding a willing, kind, and responsible person to do that, whether or not they are a student.


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## Robert59 (Sep 11, 2021)

WheatenLover said:


> I have read articles about people in your situation getting a roommate (like a college student) and giving them free rent and utilities in exchange for the help. The biggest drawback is finding a willing, kind, and responsible person to do that, whether or not they are a student.


I have a restaurant I hang out about every day and there is a young girl that college age that I might get to help out. Might have to pay them instead of free rent.


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## WheatenLover (Sep 11, 2021)

Robert59 said:


> I have a restaurant I hang out about every day and there is a young girl that college age that I might get to help out. Might have to pay them instead of free rent.


Maybe I am just paranoid, but it seems ot me that there are risks involved for you, having to do with unfounded accusations. When my husband used to drive my daughter's friends home, I was worried about that, the kids were all teens, so my boys went along as potential witnesses to protect my husband.

OTOH, we used to live in an upscale suburb. After the kids got on the bus, the Stepford Wives were talking about their daughters having overnight sleepovers at their friends houses.  The parents involved didn't have to be good friends. Just any kid at school could invite a kid for a sleepover and it would be accepted.  I asked how they knew it was safe, what if the daughters got molested.

Of course they would not! These moms were sure of it. All the men were professionals and made lots of money. They came from good families. Etc. It begged the question of how anyone knows if even a close friend is a child molester. It's not like they advertise it.

Two years later, a prominent member of the community who lived a few houses away was arrested for molesting girls who slept over at his home, and for some other really bad stuff having to do with buying time with little boys. He got a very long sentence in federal prison. He was discovered by accident as the FBI were investigating a ring of men for the little boy crimes.

Cuz, you know, child ****** abuse practioners are not just limited to people in the lower classes. And there are people who make false accusations, too.

OTOH, if you know the girl well, it shouldn't be a problem.  The risk will likely be small.


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## Robert59 (Sep 12, 2021)

WheatenLover said:


> Maybe I am just paranoid, but it seems ot me that there are risks involved for you, having to do with unfounded accusations. When my husband used to drive my daughter's friends home, I was worried about that, the kids were all teens, so my boys went along as potential witnesses to protect my husband.
> 
> OTOH, we used to live in an upscale suburb. After the kids got on the bus, the Stepford Wives were talking about their daughters having overnight sleepovers at their friends houses.  The parents involved didn't have to be good friends. Just any kid at school could invite a kid for a sleepover and it would be accepted.  I asked how they knew it was safe, what if the daughters got molested.
> 
> ...


I've been thinking about not doing this because the Tennessee police told me if a person stays in your house for a few days they can claim they live there for good and it will take a judge to throw them out which costs money. People need to check their local laws about this before moving someone in. Police said if you had a travel trailer or motorhome you could have them stay there instead because that's not considered a house.


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## ohioboy (Sep 12, 2021)

Robert59 said:


> I've been thinking about not doing this because the Tennessee police told me if a person stays in your house for a few days they can claim they live there for good and it will take a judge to throw them out which costs money. People need to check their local laws about this before moving someone in.


The police are daft, period.


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## Railman (Jan 7, 2022)

I am alone, it is winter the sidewalks and roads are slippery.  Not to mention the temp or wind chill. When I was younger my wife and I kept  on our aging parents.  My mother came up with a comment that is so true. "You can get anything done as a senior, as long as you know how to sign a cheque."  Well I am now at that age, I get tired of paying delivery fees, taxi fees, bus fees, and another fee you can think of to pay.  

People look at us and feel it must be nice to be in your stage of life.  It is not, it is hard to get to appointments, also expensive.  It is so easy to say, "No, I think I will stay home it is too much of an effort to go to the (enter event)" It is denying us of a quality of life.  My niece drives me to so may 'events', but I feel that I am imposing or intruding on her family life. As a senior who has done his work and earned his pension, I do not like to feel like I should be a burden in society.


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## Pepper (Jan 7, 2022)

Railman said:


> People look at us and feel it must be nice to be in your stage of life.





Railman said:


> *As a senior who has done his work and earned his pension, I do not like to feel like I should be a burden in society.*


1.  It's not nice.
2.  *And your solution is..............?*


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## Autumn72 (Jan 26, 2022)

Isn't it great to belong to a forum for someone to text you for opening up and telling your truth, just to be not a helping; bridge to give solutions instead of being a lack of solutions.
I find it insulting, that advice is always given without any empathy or compassion as the retirement crew csn wallow in their over privileged comfort zones while living alone seniors struggle to get things done.
Shame on you.


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## mellowyellow (Jan 26, 2022)

Our local council also has volunteers to take people to doctors appointments, Meals on Wheels etc and also volunteers (like me) to visit people living alone.   Depending where you live, some councils are better than others in taking care of the elderly.


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## katlupe (Jan 27, 2022)

We have the office of the aging in most counties in NY. If I need something, I call my counselor there and she can help me or direct me to someone who can. There are more than a few agencies and local churches who have volunteer drivers who will help you get to your appointments. They do their best to help seniors stay at home even if living alone or couples needing assistance.


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## Autumn72 (Jan 27, 2022)

What I need now without giving up living in my studio 
I find it hard to get the right form of help needed while sent home from the 911 calls to help my issues to recover while trying to eat too weak to stand up for the meal waiting to get the food to take the med the whole thing has backfired on me due to cvs weekends delivery on meds not helping me out that I am taking the one yet the 2nd causes unneeded bs. 
Was able to get the plan for today to work until 2nd meds complicated it all.
Now I dread the 2nd meds that was to be taken along with the 1st after not receiving it from cvs 5 days later. I just want to go back to just the one. Was going to get laundry done and dishes and declutter. Now a snowstorm is for tomorrow


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## Autumn72 (Jan 27, 2022)

Railman said:


> I am alone, it is winter the sidewalks and roads are slippery.  Not to mention the temp or wind chill. When I was younger my wife and I kept  on our aging parents.  My mother came up with a comment that is so true. "You can get anything done as a senior, as long as you know how to sign a cheque."  Well I am now at that age, I get tired of paying delivery fees, taxi fees, bus fees, and another fee you can think of to pay.
> 
> People look at us and feel it must be nice to be in your stage of life.  It is not, it is hard to get to appointments, also expensive.  It is so easy to say, "No, I think I will stay home it is too much of an effort to go to the (enter event)" It is denying us of a quality of life.  My niece drives me to so may 'events', but I feel that I am imposing or intruding on her family life. As a senior who has done his work and earned his pension, I do not like to feel like I should be a burden in society.


I whole-heartedly agree with you


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## katlupe (Jan 28, 2022)

Living alone does have times when you wish someone was here with you. In the middle of the night I had a bloody nose and it is scary to see all that blood. Everyone is sleeping in the building and you can't just knock on someone's door and say, "What should I do?" After I calm myself down, I go to my constant companion.........my laptop and learn what to do. Now I know how to stop one and should not panic. 

One lady who lived downstairs lived alone. Neighbors on all sides of her. She wasn't seen for 3 days and people knocked on her door and did not know if she was in there or not. Finally two of the men forced her door open and found her on the floor. She was alive but had a stroke and could not yell out to anyone.


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## Aunt Bea (Jan 28, 2022)

My biggest problem is the tests and treatments where you are required to have someone with you during the recovery period and to drive you home from the appointment.  I wish that there was a way to hire a reliable/trained individual to accompany you to and from these appointments.

I would also like to have access to the various services provided to many low-income seniors, fully expecting to pay a market rate or sliding scale based on income.

It would be helpful if every senior could be assigned a Medicare-approved social worker to help them navigate through the issues that we all face as we get older.  One phone call to one person that could help us locate the resources that we need to resolve our day-to-day issues.


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## Leann (Jan 28, 2022)

I can relate to many of the concerns expressed in this thread. I live in a small rural town which is lovely in so many regards but I wonder if it will suit me as I continue to grow older (I'm currently 66). There isn't a public transport system here (no Uber, Lyft or cabs, either) which is okay for now since I still drive but I see it becoming an issue for the future.


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## katlupe (Jan 28, 2022)

My neighbors recently had to spend the day at the hospital. The husband was having a procedure done which would take a bit of time. They said he could not drive afterwards. His wife is unable to drive now but he wanted her to be there with him. A man from their church drove them to the appointment which was about 35 miles away. He had to pick them up here around 5:30 AM to get there by 6:30. Then he left them off there and said he was going to go somewhere to eat and then shop or something till they were ready to leave. 

This procedure took a long time. The man said he did not mind the wait at all. That he liked doing this for people to help them. I forgot to mention it was on a morning when we had a lot of snow and they said to only drive on the roads if you had to. People who do things like this for others are such a blessing. I feel like I can't do anything for anyone else and it makes me so mad at myself.


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## JaniceM (Jan 28, 2022)

Aunt Bea said:


> My biggest problem is the tests and treatments where you are required to have someone with you during the recovery period and to drive you home from the appointment.  I wish that there was a way to hire a reliable/trained individual to accompany you to and from these appointments.
> 
> I would also like to have access to the various services provided to many low-income seniors, fully expecting to pay a market rate or sliding scale based on income.
> 
> It would be helpful if every senior could be assigned a Medicare-approved social worker to help them navigate through the issues that we all face as we get older.  One phone call to one person that could help us locate the resources that we need to resolve our day-to-day issues.


I kinda know what you mean.
My problem is transportation-  lack of.  I've heard of free transportation to doctors' appointments and grocery shopping, but all I've been able to find are broken links.


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## bingo (Jan 28, 2022)

the fear one has in these situations  is  terrible....
may God be with us all


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## Jules (Jan 28, 2022)

Leann said:


> I can relate to many of the concerns expressed in this thread. I live in a small rural town which is lovely in so many regards but I wonder if it will suit me as I continue to grow older (I'm currently 66). There isn't a public transport system here (no Uber, Lyft or cabs, either) which is okay for now since I still drive but I see it becoming an issue for the future.


In hindsight I regret not choosing a retirement home in a larger centre where there are more medical facilities.  My husband’s specialists are out of town and I have limited driving skills now.  He will eventually will be considerably disabled.  There’s no support system.


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## katlupe (Jan 28, 2022)

JaniceM said:


> I kinda know what you mean.
> My problem is transportation-  lack of.  I've heard of free transportation to doctors' appointments and grocery shopping, but all I've been able to find are broken links.


Find the telephone number of your local office of the aging. They will help you. I call there all the time and whatever I need they will find out the information for you. These agencies are usually run by your state and should not have broken links. If they do, check for a phone number. 

I would look for you if you are having trouble finding the numbers.  You would have to give me your location though.


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## officerripley (Jan 28, 2022)

katlupe said:


> Find the telephone number of your local office of the aging. They will help you. I call there all the time and whatever I need they will find out the information for you. These agencies are usually run by your state and should not have broken links. If they do, check for a phone number.
> 
> I would look for you if you are having trouble finding the numbers.  You would have to give me your location though.


The trouble is with places in this part of the state, in some cases the closest Aging Agency office is sometimes 2 hours away. Another thread here on SF was talking about loneliness (and unfortunately there was a real "people are only as lonely as they want to be, nobody to blame but themselves, they just need to get out & volunteer & look harder for services, etc." vibe) and I spoke about someone I know who is lonely not by choice due to being stranded (for a lot of reasons) in a miniscule town and the closest Aging Agency office to her is _*3*_ hours away. So it can be hard sometimes; I wish the very best of luck for all who are struggling with this here; sometimes it makes it hard this country just being so darn big.


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## Autumn72 (Jan 28, 2022)

katlupe said:


> My neighbors recently had to spend the day at the hospital. The husband was having a procedure done which would take a bit of time. They said he could not drive afterwards. His wife is unable to drive now but he wanted her to be there with him. A man from their church drove them to the appointment which was about 35 miles away. He had to pick them up here around 5:30 AM to get there by 6:30. Then he left them off there and said he was going to go somewhere to eat and then shop or something till they were ready to leave.
> 
> This procedure took a long time. The man said he did not mind the wait at all. That he liked doing this for people to help them. I forgot to mention it was on a morning when we had a lot of snow and they said to only drive on the roads if you had to. People who do things like this for others are such a blessing. I feel like I can't do anything for anyone else and it makes me so mad at myself.


There must be a way to get the plan to help all seniors who do live alone. With jobs disappearing this could be a job for people who have a driving record that the state would setup vans or cars for younger people to aide in all these appointments and household needs to help with laundry or dishes too bad teenagers were not allowed to make extra spending money as they would in babysitting jobs. Numbers are needed.


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## Autumn72 (Jan 28, 2022)

There use to be a van rtp that took folks to their appointments.
Then another charged may have closed down due to covid-19 
Taxi one needs cash. Disability keeps my bank too far away
The ATM just across the street from my door, yet 5he sidewalks are EXTRA ICY while the sidewalk dip downwards on both sides make it impossible for me to take that extra step that had kept me as a hostage until a young lady pleasantly helped me cross over the sidewalk where the restaurant driveway intercepts with icy water yhrown out the back door of said restaurant. The ATM is across at the corner of my street and side by side with restaurants only a yard away from my doorway! Good God.......what does it take?
A city full of conveniences galore.


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## katlupe (Jan 29, 2022)

officerripley said:


> The trouble is with places in this part of the state, in some cases the closest Aging Agency office is sometimes 2 hours away. Another thread here on SF was talking about loneliness (and unfortunately there was a real "people are only as lonely as they want to be, nobody to blame but themselves, they just need to get out & volunteer & look harder for services, etc." vibe) and I spoke about someone I know who is lonely not by choice due to being stranded (for a lot of reasons) in a miniscule town and the closest Aging Agency office to her is _*3*_ hours away. So it can be hard sometimes; I wish the very best of luck for all who are struggling with this here; sometimes it makes it hard this country just being so darn big.


My office of the aging is about a block away. But I live downtown so close to everything.


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## Tabby Ann (Jan 30, 2022)

Cameron said:


> The health system is great in Canada albeit with the delays of a social system and bureaucracy but my biggest concern is the small things such as having a someone drive me treatment , cooking meals etc while ill.


The health system isn’t great in the U. S. and many elderly seniors have the same concerns you do for surviving in their own homes. There’s a public misperception that all sorts of free social services are available to help the elderly stay in their homes but when most elderly seniors need those services they aren’t there. When you mention household needs for the elderly, someone always jumps up and says Meals on Wheels, as though that is the solution to all elderly problems. I’ve had to hire a housekeeper and yard man to help me stay in my home and drive me to my appointments and neither will work for a meal on a wheel. They want money.


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## Leann (Jan 31, 2022)

Jules said:


> In hindsight I regret not choosing a retirement home in a larger centre where there are more medical facilities.  My husband’s specialists are out of town and I have limited driving skills now.  He will eventually will be considerably disabled.  There’s no support system.


I completely understand what you're saying @Jules. I chose a small town because it offers a wonderful quality of life in many regards but medical facilities that offer specialized care are a long distance away. I'd love to think I could age out in my home here but I also accept that it may not be possible. Best to you and your husband.


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## officerripley (Jan 31, 2022)

Tabby Ann said:


> The health system isn’t great in the U. S. and many elderly seniors have the same concerns you do for surviving in their own homes. There’s a public misperception that all sorts of free social services are available to help the elderly stay in their homes but when most elderly seniors need those services they aren’t there. When you mention household needs for the elderly, someone always jumps up and says Meals on Wheels, as though that is the solution to all elderly problems. I’ve had to hire a housekeeper and yard man to help me stay in my home and drive me to my appointments and neither will work for a meal on a wheel. They want money.


So true.


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## boliverchadsworth (Feb 7, 2022)

Autumn72 said:


> Isn't it great to belong to a forum for someone to text you for opening up and telling your truth, just to be not a helping; bridge to give solutions instead of being a lack of solutions.
> I find it insulting, that advice is always given without any empathy or compassion as the retirement crew csn wallow in their over privileged comfort zones while living alone seniors struggle to get things done.
> Shame on you.


good for you- lots of small minded thoughtless folks everywhere- generally makes me feel good about myself ..(falsely I guess)  people who do not realize that there is a box to think out of.hahha


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