# Changing sedentary lifestyle



## Patnono (Mar 18, 2019)

I retired over 2 years ago, I had a mental breakdown ( anxiety & depression).  I've been just lying down 90% of the time I'm feeling the effects of this. I'm trying to figure out How to get started???  PLEASE don't day just get my butt up and go for a walk???  If it where that easy??? And plus I have insomnia, averaging 5-6 am going to sleep.  So I'm EXHAUSTED from ALL the above.


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## Keesha (Mar 18, 2019)

Was there a question somewhere here that I missed?
I’m not sure what it is you are seeking.
Are you asking us to motivate you?


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## Keesha (Mar 18, 2019)

What are your goals?
What is it you want from your life?
What are you doing to accomplish this?
Perhaps you are in a clinical depression that needs some professional help. 
Have you spoken to any professionals about this?


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## hollydolly (Mar 18, 2019)

Patnono said:


> I retired over 2 years ago, I had a mental breakdown ( anxiety & depression).  I've been just lying down 90% of the time I'm feeling the effects of this. I'm trying to figure out How to get started???  PLEASE don't day just get my butt up and go for a walk???  If it where that easy??? And plus I have insomnia, averaging 5-6 am going to sleep.  So I'm EXHAUSTED from ALL the above.



I'm so sorry you've been through such a bad time in the last 2 years.. first you need to establish what caused  your depression and anxiety in the first place, and begin from there..

I would suggest you see your Doctor, but I understand when you're already not even getting up for most of the day you won't feel motivated to go out and talk to someone .. but  that has to be you first step if you _really _want to get well... Please go and speak to someone about  the reasons you are still suffering 

You're probably not sleeping because you don't get any exercise to make you tired, and the vicious circle becomes eternal...

I hope you can manage to


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## Patnono (Mar 18, 2019)

Thank you for taking the time to write back, Gosh, don't want to blame anyone, I think it had to begin with my mother?  She made it clear for the first 23 years of my life that she didn't want anything girls, so she did everything she could to make Life hell for me, she didn't celebrate my birthday because she said I wasn't suppose to be born and anything that went wrong it was my fault.  I do know that because of that I have OCD afraid of making mistakes and getting in trouble.  I feel guilty for everything I do wrong and what my kids do wrong I have been on them to make sure they don't make any mistakes in life.  Especially my youngest daughter gets really Mad at me for giving her too much advice.  She barely has anything to do with me.  I know that's how they learn, but I couldn't help myself, now I do so we just don't speak... Lesson Learned


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## Patnono (Mar 18, 2019)

Thanks for writing K, yea I guess you could say I'm looking for support, I suffer from anxiety so friends and family are not there for me, they want me to think positive and get over it???  I wish it where that easy.  Because of this it has taken a toll on my body, I don't know how to dig myself out of this?  I was seeing a counselor, but with my diabetes diagnosis, I can't see him now, the diabetes has to be my priority, I have to spend more on food, medication, blood test every 3 monthsand doctor visits.  I am on medication for my anxiety and depression but don't work as well as they could.  I'm always hearing go for a walk, it such a cliche...I guess that I'm lonely and have feelings of hopelessness.  Feel like it's a uphill battle "ALONE"


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## hollydolly (Mar 18, 2019)

Patnono said:


> Thanks for writing K, yea I guess you could say I'm looking for support, I suffer from anxiety so friends and family are not there for me, they want me to think positive and get over it???  I wish it where that easy.  Because of this it has taken a toll on my body, I don't know how to dig myself out of this?  I was seeing a counselor, but with my diabetes diagnosis, I can't see him now, the diabetes has to be my priority, I have to spend more on food, medication, blood test every 3 monthsand doctor visits.  I am on medication for my anxiety and depression but don't work as well as they could.  I'm always hearing go for a walk, it such a cliche...I guess that I'm lonely and have feelings of hopelessness.  Feel like it's a uphill battle "ALONE"



You've clearly got very low self esteem  and a feeling of hopelessness IMO..stemming from your childhood, you need support, and you don't feel you're getting it from your family, so you need to set a goal..for you, not for anyone else.. but for you to live the best life you can now....something that will help you're self esteem would be a good start. Your diabetes will be vastly improved if you can get out and exercise , just walking a even 5 minutes a day to start will make a difference.. but most importantly people who are there to support you in your quest to get well, and we can do that here on this forum so you never feel alone , but really I hope you can get up the courage to visit your doctor...at least just to get some advice if nothing else..


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## Chucktin (Mar 18, 2019)

You cope by one step at a time. Baby steps. Never mind the big picture for a while just pick something to break your routine. Then build on that because that's how we build confidence in any situation or activity.


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## Ronni (Mar 18, 2019)

If you are on medications for anxiety and depression, and they're not working well, you're on the wrong medications. It can take some tweaking to get the right medication or right dosage of existing medication to find something that works.  I have several family members who take something for anxiety or depression, and I also had a prescription myself when my addict son was actively using and my life was in shambles as a result.  In each of our cases, we went through at least one change of meds, and one of my family members also had to experiment, under medical supervision, with the right dosage.  Everyone is different.  

I would urge you, as your very first step, to go back to your doctor and tell him your meds aren't doing the job, aren't working at all, or not as they once were, and get that sorted out before you tackle anything else.  Once you're on the right medications or the right dosage, I think you'll find it much easier to tackle the other things in your life that are troubling you.  At least that's the way it worked for everyone in my family who sought medical assistance for their issues.


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## Aunt Bea (Mar 18, 2019)

I've read many of your threads and in my opinion, a good number of the problems that you have offered up for discussion could be minimized or put into perspective if you become a part of something larger than yourself, I believe what is missing in your life is a purpose. If you find a way to be of service to others many of your own problems will fade into the background.

As far as the exercise goes try becoming part of an indoor mall walking group or senior citizens exercise program. Try to set an example for the others by showing up on time and participating even on the days when you would rather pull the covers over your head.

Good luck!


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## debbie in seattle (Mar 18, 2019)

I Walk!    Every single day.   I try for 5 miles a day, but am happy with what I do each day.    I say hi to everyone I pass by, folks working in their yards, all the dogs I see.    Through the past hell I’ve gone through this past year, this has been the best for me.


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## Gary O' (Mar 18, 2019)

debbie in seattle said:


> I Walk!    Every single day.   I try for 5 miles a day, but am happy with what I do each day.    I say hi to everyone I pass by, folks working in their yards, all the dogs I see.    Through the past hell I’ve gone through this past year, this has been the best for me.



Yup

Funny, many recommend it

But the downers don't try it

It....is....the....best


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## Don M. (Mar 18, 2019)

Anything that gets a person out of the house, and interacting with others, is a good thing.  Just sitting around "Moping" is a sure recipe for ongoing health issues...Both physically And mentally.


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## jujube (Mar 18, 2019)

I'll throw in my vote for walking.  It's free, you can do it in _almost_ all weather, it's always available.  If you do it "right", it'll exhaust you and you can sleep.  Wave your arms around while you walk.  So what if you get the reputation as the "crazy lady", it'll make you breath deeper and more oxygen never hurt anyone! You can do little walks, big walks, fast walks, slow walks.....get in your car if needs be and go somewhere "interesting" to walk....parks, shopping area, the mall.  There are senior groups that meet at the mall early in the morning to walk vigorously and chat.  

Go to the movies....by yourself if needs be.  I love to go to the movies by myself.  I can see what I want and I don't have to share my popcorn.  There's a "second-run" theater here that is $1 on Tuesdays ($1.75 the rest of the time) and for $4 you can get a small drink, a small popcorn and a small candy.  Only go to light-hearted movies.....you'll come out saying "WOO-HOO, that was fun!"

Our library has tons of classes, meetings, events, most for free.  You can even check out a dog to pet while you're reading.  

Go to free events......art shows, music festivals.

It's not going to be easy; I don't think anyone here would say that.  It's going to be damn HARD.  What's easy is coming up with a ton of excuses why you can't do it and there are a ton out there.  I know, I've come up with a million of them.  

The past is behind you.....you can't do anything about what has happened already.  But, there's a whole future ahead of you.  And you CAN do something about that!  Get up, get out....every day walk 5 minutes longer, one block further, a little faster.   Do some color therapy.  A friend of mine has pieces of brightly-color material that she drapes over things and looks at.  She says red, yellow and orange can pep her up while blue and green calm her down.  She claims to instantly feel better after looking at bright colors.   Myself, I have four watercolors of funny little birds in party hats that I bought from an art gallery hanging on my wall.  Just looking at my "dopey birds" makes me feel better.  I met the artist at an art show in North Carolina a couple of years ago and told her that they were my "psychiatrists".   Find something that makes you happy to at and look at it often.  

Flowers!  They don't have to be hot-house roses from the florist.  They can be wild weeds you grabbed out of an empty lot but flowers can make you happy.  If they smell good, it's a double advantage.

But, and it's a big BUT, you have to want to help yourself.  All the pep talks in the world won't do any good if you don't do anything about it.  I know it's hard. I've been there, not deeply depressed, but to the point where I didn't really want to do anything but lay in bed and feel sorry for myself.   

Do it, Pat.  Stop obsessing about it and DO IT!


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## SeaBreeze (Mar 18, 2019)

Patnono said:


> Gosh, don't want to blame anyone, I think it had to begin with my mother?  She made it clear for the first 23 years of my life that she didn't want anything girls, so she did everything she could to make Life hell for me, she didn't celebrate my birthday because she said I wasn't suppose to be born and anything that went wrong it was my fault.





Patnono said:


> I suffer from anxiety so friends and family are not there for me, they want me to think positive and get over it???  I wish it where that easy.  Because of this it has taken a toll on my body, I don't know how to dig myself out of this?  I'm always hearing go for a walk, it such a cliche...I guess that I'm lonely and have feelings of hopelessness.  Feel like it's a uphill battle "ALONE"



Pat, I've read many of your threads too, you won't make any changes in your health or your mindset unless you change your attitude and start thinking positively. Other people have told you that too, and there's a reason for it, it is fact and it works.  Swirling around in a whirlpool of negativity helps no one.

 If you acknowledge this, you will begin to eat healthier (no sweets, junk food, breads, pasta, etc.), you'll get out and take a walk every day, whether a half hour or an hour it will make a difference in your physical and mental health. It's not a cliche, and you shouldn't continue to dismiss advice from folks who care, be open-minded and take some of that advice if you want to get well.

   Once you decide to make a change for the better, you will have a lot more support from other people including your family.  Change starts with _you_.

You don't want to blame anyone, but you bring up your mother and blame her.  Well, none of us can change what's happened in our past, but we can choose to not dwell on it every day and have it affect the precious moments of our present life.

  Leave the past behind, starting today you can decide to get rid of that gray cloud that you invite to hang over your head.  Stop living in the past or blaming others, live for today and start loving yourself....you won't regret it.

Lots of good advice here from other members, join a senior center, take some walks with a small group of seniors, that will solve some of your health and loneliness problems.  Good luck, and think about what people are saying.....we are trying to help you help yourself.


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## Patnono (Mar 18, 2019)

Thank you for writing, I've changed medication several times, the one I'm on has made a difference, before this medication I was barely able to eat, I had a boiled egg and a cup of V8 juice a day, so i felt this was the one?  I guess it's Not?  And I guess I'm afraid to change is that other people have wrote me that this medication is addictive???  My doctor had told me that she would Never give me any medication that was addictive?  Im wondering if she lied to me?  Or these people have addictive personalities?  I might have to change her too?  She Very difficult to an appointment with?


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## CeeCee (Mar 18, 2019)

Patnono said:


> Thank you for writing, I've changed medication several times, the one I'm on has made a difference, before this medication I was barely able to eat, I had a boiled egg and a cup of V8 juice a day, so i felt this was the one?  I guess it's Not?  And I guess I'm afraid to change is that other people have wrote me that this medication is addictive???  My doctor had told me that she would Never give me any medication that was addictive?  Im wondering if she lied to me?  Or these people have addictive personalities?  I might have to change her too?  She Very difficult to an appointment with?




Ive never heard of any meds for diabetes being addictive....the anti anxiety med you’re on may be though....maybe that’s what the person meant.


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## Pepper (Mar 18, 2019)

I don't wish to be rude or hurt your feelings, Patnono, but I find it very sad that you end each statement as if it were a question.


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## Buckeye (Mar 18, 2019)

Patnono - I can't offer any advice, but hope you can find a way to move forward.  Good luck on your journey.


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## Patnono (Mar 18, 2019)

Sorry not the meds for the diabetes, the meds for my anxiety/depression


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## hollydolly (Mar 18, 2019)

Patnono said:


> Sorry not the meds for the diabetes, the meds for my anxiety/depression



 Anti depressants can be very addictive indeed, and eventually the body becomes so tolerant of them they are of little use to you, so the dosage gets increased exponentially , until you become completely dependent on a drug that's doing you more harm than good..this is why Doctors ( at least in the UK) will only permit short term dosages of meds like Diazepam for example.. because it's so addictive beyond it's initial usefulness.. You really need to see your doctor and discuss this with them, they can prescribe something that is more tailored to your condition.. However, and although you may not believe this..oftentimes..just getting out and walking in the fresh air, even for just 10 or 15 minutes every day, helps uplift your mood, and eventually you may find not only is it healthy for your whole body, it's going to help you emotionally too..  

If you're very  overweight or find it difficult to walk..just take it slowly.. walk for 5 minutes, even in the garden if you have one with or without an aid.. but just go outside and walk, start by doing it every other day , and gradually build up a few minutes more everytime you go.. set yourself a goal.


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## CeeCee (Mar 18, 2019)

Patnono said:


> Sorry not the meds for the diabetes, the meds for my anxiety/depression




Okay, that’s true.


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## Patnono (Mar 18, 2019)

I will be looking into seeing my doctor, she told me she wouldn't give me anything addictive?  But in the past this same medication I was off it for about a week because the doctor was unavailable.  During that time I did not feel any withdrawals.  My medication is at a minimum dosage.  But I believe your correct in that using them in long term eventually renders them useless, so I will look into trying something else.  In the past when I told her a certain medication wasn't working, she would up the dosage, still nothing.  Then she'd change the type of medication.


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## Snowbound (Mar 18, 2019)

Boy can I relate!  My parents were divorced when I was 12, and many times mom would comment how lucky my father was that he didn't "get stuck with me."  I suffered from low self esteem most of most of my life, and from depression most of my adult life.  Meds help with the depression, but I will tell you what has helped me see my life in a more positive light - church.  No, I'm not going to preach to you, only suggest, that if you don't belong to a church, or other religious organization, that you try going.  Feeling like I'l part of a community, with a common interest, Jesus, has helped me a lot! When I'm feeling down, I force myself to stop and count my blessings, no matter how small they may seem - I have a place to live, I can pay my bills, I have a decent job, a son that loves me, etc.  It helps.  As for exercise, well, I know first hand that it's hard to start, but you Have to start.  Do you have a dog, take it for a walk.  If not, invest in an MP3 player and listen to music, or books while you walk, or grab a friend.  Once you start, and get yourself into a routine, it gets easier.  I pray that you find the support your are seeking, and that life gets a little brighter for you.


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## Patnono (Mar 18, 2019)

Thanks, many years ago I wrote her a letter telling her how she made me feet.  Ojr relationship got better.  She now suffers with dementia, where she doesn't know our names, looks very weak and helpless.  I've always had empathy for her and forgive her.


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## hollydolly (Mar 18, 2019)

Patnono said:


> I will be looking into seeing my doctor, she told me she wouldn't give me anything addictive?  But in the past this same medication I was off it for about a week because the doctor was unavailable.  During that time I did not feel any withdrawals.  My medication is at a minimum dosage.  But I believe your correct in that using them in long term eventually renders them useless, so I will look into trying something else.  In the past when I told her a certain medication wasn't working, she would up the dosage, still nothing.  Then she'd change the type of medication.



Excellent, so that's a start going to see the doctor, and getting this thing fixed... is it too rude to ask?.. roughly what age bracket you're in? ou don't have to answer that?


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## Patnono (Mar 18, 2019)

Early 60's


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## hollydolly (Mar 18, 2019)

Patnono said:


> Early 60's



Same age as me...


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## Patnono (Mar 18, 2019)

Yay 60's,. I got some good news today, a possibility for a job.  I've been asked to go for a physical Wednesday.  I've been feeling down about job hunting, having been turned down because of my age, I've been told I couldn't do the jobs to my face.  Maybe this could turn around my depression?  I want to get off my medication.


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## hollydolly (Mar 18, 2019)

Patnono said:


> Yay 60's,. I got some good news today, a possibility for a job.  I've been asked to go for a physical Wednesday.  I've been feeling down about job hunting, having been turned down because of my age, I've been told I couldn't do the jobs to my face.  Maybe this could turn around my depression?  I want to get off my medication.




Oh that's fantastic news, let's hope you pass the medical, getting  a job would do wonders for your self esteem aside from anything else..


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## Patnono (Mar 18, 2019)

Thanks, I think so too?  I barely leave the house.


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## Lara (Mar 19, 2019)

Eat right. Drink water (or weak ice tea). Get fresh air. Lose weight (if needed). Walk (shoulders back, chin up). Stretch everything. Get 10 minutes of unprotected sunshine or Vitamin D3. Eat salmon or take Omega3. No sugar. No processed foods. Breathe in through your nose. Hold it. Breathe out through your mouth. Keep a gratitude journal. Stay focused. Be consistent. 

Now these tips sound super silly but researchers show it works: Smile (big) even when you don't feel like it because it creates endorphins that get rid of depression (it's something about the muscles). Sing an easy simple happy tune loud from your gut, something you know like this ...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bWyhj7siEY. Sing anything that lifts you up.


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## Patnono (Mar 19, 2019)

Thank you for all the tips, I've heard of these before, it's hard to implement them because of my anxiety.  I've been just home mostly in bed for over 2 years, I really HATE feeling this way. I keep feeling like something badd is going to happen? I'm always looking over my shoulder?  Iam making an effort to change,  I'm going swimming tomorrow, hopefully?  Sometimes I talk myself out of things.  When ever I have things to do outside the house I get anxious.  It's Baby Steps... Right?


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## hollydolly (Mar 19, 2019)

Patnono said:


> Thank you for all the tips, I've heard of these before, it's hard to implement them because of my anxiety.  I've been just home mostly in bed for over 2 years, I really HATE feeling this way. I keep feeling like something badd is going to happen? I'm always looking over my shoulder?  Iam making an effort to change,  I'm going swimming tomorrow, hopefully?  Sometimes I talk myself out of things.  When ever I have things to do outside the house I get anxious.  It's Baby Steps... Right?


  Oh yes it's Baby steps, of course it is, you'll feel overwhelmed if you try to do too much after such a length of inactivity..so one little thing at a time.

Swimming will be great, I hope you can get there..


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## Chucktin (Mar 19, 2019)

Snowbound said:


> Boy can I relate!  My parents were divorced when I was 12, and many times mom would comment how lucky my father was that he didn't "get stuck with me."  I suffered from low self esteem most of most of my life, and from depression most of my adult life.  Meds help with the depression, but I will tell you what has helped me see my life in a more positive light - church.  No, I'm not going to preach to you, only suggest, that if you don't belong to a church, or other religious organization, that you try going.  Feeling like I'l part of a community, with a common interest, Jesus, has helped me a lot! When I'm feeling down, I force myself to stop and count my blessings, no matter how small they may seem - I have a place to live, I can pay my bills, I have a decent job, a son that loves me, etc.  It helps.  As for exercise, well, I know first hand that it's hard to start, but you Have to start.  Do you have a dog, take it for a walk.  If not, invest in an MP3 player and listen to music, or books while you walk, or grab a friend.  Once you start, and get yourself into a routine, it gets easier.  I pray that you find the support your are seeking, and that life gets a little brighter for you.


That self-esteem movement in California was a subject I've always wanted to understand and appreciate better. But it was buried under a mountain of nonsense and political angst.


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## bingo (Mar 19, 2019)

i totally understand. ..and i suggest you do small things for yourself to feel more relevant...even things like foot soaks...food items..etc....
also a natural nerve tonic..hyland brand sold at walmart for $4/bottle....some minerals and herbs could help with sleep process....then...the hardest part is to accept ...accept the things you cannot change...I've been there...done that...your mind is the most powerful tool you have...focus not on anything that corrodes your well being


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## CeeCee (Mar 19, 2019)

I can understand how hard it can be.

I was in pretty bad shape a year ago...sky high anxiety and depression, didn’t feel like doing anything and the less I did the more depressed I got.

Finally I joined Curves gym and that has been my life saver!

My anxiety is health triggered and when it’s at it worst I can’t even eat.  I still get anxious about anything health related but that’s the way I am...a little OCD also.

If you are old enough and have silver sneakers, I suggest joining Curves....it’s more than just exercise...it’s a group of wonderful ladies who support each other...at least that’s the way mine is.

Tomorrow about 30 of us are going to Mimi’s Cafe for our once a month luncheon...I always have a good time.

So, just do one thing and it will usually lead to another....good luck!


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