# How does your loved one apologize?



## Ronni (Sep 28, 2019)

We had an argument. Not a bad one but we seldom have words. Shortly thereafter he presented me with this.


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## Gary O' (Sep 28, 2019)

Bringing her flowers has never worked for me.

Chasing her down for a rabid frolic has always calmed her some.


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## hollydolly (Sep 28, 2019)

Ronni said:


> We had an argument. Not a bad one but we seldom have words. Shortly thereafter he presented me with this.
> 
> View attachment 77311


 Ha!! wait until you've been together 20 years ... mine doesn't apologise.. ever!!


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## Gary O' (Sep 28, 2019)

hollydolly said:


> mine doesn't apologise.. ever!!


Does he have a shop he can go to?


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## Ruth n Jersey (Sep 28, 2019)

Usually we don't have arguments mainly because he just walks away when things get heated. I'm left steaming and two minutes later he is back like nothing has happened. I don't think I ever remember an apology. Beautiful flowers Ronni, enjoy them.


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## Gary O' (Sep 28, 2019)

I can't stand it when she's mad at me.
I follow her around her kitchen, and into another room, like the ashamed dawg I am.
Usually it's something I considered funny and she takes it personal.
Finally, she'll turn on me and say *'JUS' LET ME GIT OVER IT!'*
So, I go to the shop...fiddle with stuff...think of other, even funnier, things.

For awhile there I quit sharing my joys.
She'd see me there....silently chortling
Finally, one day, she blurted......'OK....OK...tell me what's so funny'

Now? she contends with me
...and even laughs
Heh, she can't laugh right...gets to giggling backwords, and chokes from breathing wrong

Hilarious


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## jujube (Sep 28, 2019)

Apologize?  What's that?

I saw a cute poster in a florist shop once.  It showed three arrangements: one was a single rose in a small vase, the second was a nice arrangement of carnations and other flowers and the third was a dozen American Beauty long-stemmed red roses.  The caption said "HOW MAD IS SHE?"


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## Ronni (Sep 28, 2019)

Gary O' said:


> Does he have a shop he can go to?


LOL he does.  But he can't stand when we're emotionally distant ... so he hangs around and tries to pretend like nothing has happened and is all cute whereas I’m  kinda like your woman...I just want space to come to terms with whatever.

Sometimes I'll apologize.  Sometimes he will.  But when HE does it's always accompanied by a sweet card, or flowers, or a bottle of wine, or some offering to let me know how sorry he is, because he's not as good with words as I am.


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## gennie (Sep 28, 2019)

My ex- never did anything to apologize for ...... or at least, that's what he thought.  And he said he didn't know why I wanted him to be ex-.


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## toffee (Sep 28, 2019)

mine would have to look the word up to get the meaning lol......he never has done in all the years married '
 its not in his gene to say it … if he bought me flowers -I would be worried hahaha


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## hollydolly (Sep 28, 2019)

Gary O' said:


> Does he have a shop he can go to?


 lol..yes he does, and an office, ..and you know what really gets on my last nerve is that I can have a row , blow up , say what has to be said , and it's over and done... no hard feelings..but not him.. he can disapear into his office,/shed/barn/pub/  and not speak for a week!! ..over relatively nothing!!


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## Linda (Sep 28, 2019)

Ruth n Jersey said:


> Usually we don't have arguments mainly because he just walks away when things get heated. I'm left steaming and two minutes later he is back like nothing has happened. I don't think I ever remember an apology. Beautiful flowers Ronni, enjoy them.



Same at my house.  I don't apologize either.  If I said something I meant it and if I did something I probably did it on purpose.


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## Patio Life (Sep 28, 2019)

He will apologize. Then do the same thing over again. So . . . he doesn't mean it.
Just words that mean nothing anymore.


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## Gary O' (Sep 28, 2019)

hollydolly said:


> but not him.. he can disapear into his office,/shed/barn/pub/ and not speak for a week!! ..over relatively nothing!!


Well, a week is a bit long
But
Us guys have our much needed places

.....and he comes home (our other, favoritest, place)


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## Pecos (Sep 28, 2019)

I am reminded of the fellow who explained the secret of a happy marriage:
"When my wife and I got married we agreed to never go to sleep with an unresolved disagreement, ……. one time we were awake for five days."


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## hollydolly (Sep 28, 2019)

Pecos said:


> I am reminded of the fellow who explained the secret of a happy marriage:
> "When my wife and I got married we agreed to never go to sleep with an unresolved disagreement, ……. one time we were awake for five days."


 we never have that problem, we sleep in separate rooms... so the fight can last for days and we still get to sleep...


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## SeaBreeze (Sep 28, 2019)

It's rare that either of us _really _have to apologize, but we just stop and say it and mean it.


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## Sassycakes (Oct 2, 2019)

*Even though my Husband is usually very caring and thoughtful, he really isn't the type to apologize after an argument, because he never believes he is wrong. He does bring me gifts for no special reasons very often, but not ever after an argument.*


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## Lochkelly (Oct 2, 2019)

Patio Life said:


> He will apologize. Then do the same thing over again. So . . . he doesn't mean it.
> Just words that mean nothing anymore.


I can relate.


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## Floridatennisplayer (Oct 3, 2019)

When we wake up in the morning, I look over at her and say, “I’m sorry”.

I’m sure I’ll do something within minutes to require that!


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## Keesha (Oct 3, 2019)

My man is actually quite good at apologizing. 
To be honest, he’s better at apologizing than I am but then again, he’s gotta live with me.

I don’t get a dozen yellow roses but he is often surprising me with small adorable gestures of affection like hand picked flowers or chocolates he got from work . I don’t ever get notes. He says everything to my face with such sincerity that at times it makes me want to cry and I usually do. 

We both aren’t too proud or stupid not to understand the importance of apologies and forgiveness and for this I’m grateful. 
It keeps our relationship real and honest.


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## Ronni (Oct 4, 2019)

Keesha said:


> My man is actually quite good at apologizing.
> To be honest, he’s better at apologizing than I am but then again, he’s gotta live with me.
> 
> I don’t get a dozen yellow roses but he is often surprising me with small adorable gestures of affection like hand picked flowers or chocolates he got from work . I don’t ever get notes. He says everything to my face with such sincerity that at times it makes me want to cry and I usually do.
> ...


I love this @Keesha 

Ron had a hard time admitting any fault at first.....baggage from his prior marriage. Suffice to say that apologies or admitting he was wrong about something made him vulnerable, and vulnerability around his ex was dangerous. Real, honest communication of any kind was fraught with pitfalls. 

We had to hash out a few thing earlier in our relationship.  I consider honest communication foundational to a healthy relationship, and though he agreed with that  in theory, it was difficult for him. He had to learn over time that it was safe to communicate to me. 

Nowadays we talk about everything. He will be the first to admit that while I’m the better communicator (larger vocabulary and greater command of the English language in general) he has surpassed me in his openness. To this day I remain slightly guarded...holdover from the abuse I suffered for so many years at the hands of my ex. He is very understanding of that (one of the many things I love about the man ) and I do get there in the end.


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## Trade (Oct 4, 2019)




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## Gary O' (Oct 4, 2019)

Ronni said:


> I consider honest communication foundational to a healthy relationship


I just might try that


......naw

50 years of questionable behavior has kept her on her toes

so far, so good


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## Ronni (Oct 4, 2019)

Trade said:


>


Yeah.....no.

 I call bullsh** on that my friend!


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## Ferocious (Oct 4, 2019)

*Hmmmm.....The women will/may say,"Sorry."........The men will I suppose just grovel....*


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## debbie in seattle (Oct 26, 2019)

Mine never apologized!


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## Keesha (Oct 26, 2019)

Trade said:


>


More like; Loves means always having to say sorry whenever necessary


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## bingo (Oct 26, 2019)

I step on his neck.....til he cries "uncle"...ha!


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## DaveA (Oct 27, 2019)

I apologize to my wife in the same manner that I apologize to anyone who I have offended and she does the same with me.  No dramatics, etc

 We've been together for 60 some years. Arguments and disagreement come with the territory, and unless the wife or husband is a "doormat" to be stepped on without consequence an argument shouldn't be "the end of the world".


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## Colleen (Oct 27, 2019)

My hubby has never apologized for anything he's said in anger. A few years ago, he was upset about something and we had a rare argument. That's when he said, "You've been the biggest disappointment in my life." Not his drunken ex. Not his son that never calls him and hasn't seen him in 6 years. Nope...me   The one that has taken care of him and given in to every thing he's ever wanted to do...whether I wanted to or not. The one that took care of him at home instead of sending him to a rehab hospital when he had a very serious, life-threatening injury. Not to mention, him spending money like it grows on trees and I never say anything. 

Those hurtful words has done irreparable damage to our relationship. I can't forget them and he's never said he was sorry so I'm assuming he meant it.


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## RedAlert (Nov 15, 2019)

Now that was 





Colleen said:


> My hubby has never apologized for anything he's said in anger. A few years ago, he was upset about something and we had a rare argument. That's when he said, "You've been the biggest disappointment in my life." Not his drunken ex. Not his son that never calls him and hasn't seen him in 6 years. Nope...me   The one that has taken care of him and given in to every thing he's ever wanted to do...whether I wanted to or not. The one that took care of him at home instead of sending him to a rehab hospital when he had a very serious, life-threatening injury. Not to mention, him spending money like it grows on trees and I never say anything.
> 
> Those hurtful words has done irreparable damage to our relationship. I can't forget them and he's never said he was sorry so I'm assuming he meant it.


Dow
So sorry.That was painful for sure.It would be very hard to carry on after that statment.


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## RedAlert (Nov 15, 2019)

So sorry That many of you live in such misery.I have been very blessed with my second hubby of 29 years.
I can't imagine having the drama and turmoil in my life at this age. We do. try and put each other before anyone else in our lives- and that includes kids.
We don't fight per sae- I speak my mind and it usually stops half way between his ears. 
We both do get tickled at each other when annoyed and have fits of laughter over it.


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## RedAlert (Nov 15, 2019)

:☺


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## Keesha (Nov 15, 2019)

Ronni said:


> Yeah.....no.
> 
> I call bullsh** on that my friend!



Ya think? lol. 
A friend here reminded me that due to past murky relationships, she tries to keep her close relationships clean and meaningful which means apologizing when needed.

Love DOES mean saying saying you’re sorry. 
Decent humans have no problems apologizing. 
Its not a fault in character to apologize, even if it isn’t your fault. Finding peace within a disagreement  is always a worthy solution that benefits all.


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## Trade (Nov 18, 2019)




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## Pepper (Nov 18, 2019)

He ran all the wa ay ay.  Ay ay ay.


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