# fishing for compliments



## rkunsaw (Jun 11, 2020)

My daughter is constantly doing this on facebook. She gets them too. Why do people do this?

Today her post went like this: 

YOU MAY NOT ALWAYS BE THE PRETTIEST GIRL IN THE ROOM BUT YOU CAN BE THE KINDEST
GIRL IN THE ROOM. AND THAT'S OK BECAUSE HAVING A PRETTY HEART IS FAR BETTER THAN 
HAVING A PRETTY FACE.

As expected everyone who replied said something about her having both.  And her answer to each one was something like
 awww it's so sweet of you to say that.


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## RadishRose (Jun 11, 2020)

Is she having a hard time with her self confidence?


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## rkunsaw (Jun 11, 2020)

RadishRose said:


> Is she having a hard time with her self confidence?


I dunno. It sure seems that way. I just put three of these  in the comments.


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## win231 (Jun 11, 2020)

Well, maybe she's not "Fishing for compliments."  Maybe she's just speaking her mind.
Sometimes, I'll post something similar & once in a while, someone (who's not a nice person) will accuse me of "Trying to be a hero."
Such people often wish they were more like the person they criticize.


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## MarciKS (Jun 11, 2020)

rkunsaw said:


> I dunno. It sure seems tat way. I just put three of these  in te comments.


Maybe someone said something to her that made her feel bad about herself.


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## rkunsaw (Jun 12, 2020)

MarciKS said:


> Maybe someone said something to her that made her feel bad about herself.


She posts similar stuff all the time so it can't be something someone said. I think she has a cult of followers who always tell her how great she us.


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## IrisSenior (Jun 12, 2020)

rkunsaw said:


> My daughter is constantly doing this on facebook. She gets them too. Why do people do this?
> 
> Today her post went like this:
> 
> ...


Your daughter may have just be posting something someone else says. I have a few that do that ALL the time and usually it is just to state a point and echos something they are thinking about. Maybe she doesn't want to talk about herself. Why don't you ask her why she does this?


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## Rosemarie (Jun 12, 2020)

rkunsaw said:


> My daughter is constantly doing this on facebook. She gets them too. Why do people do this?
> 
> Today her post went like this:
> 
> ...


Yes, it is pretty pathetic. Some people post pictures of a meal they have cooked or a picture they have drawn with a view to being complimented. They get quite upset when it doesn't happen.


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## treeguy64 (Jun 12, 2020)

Hmm....... Don't most of us like getting compliments? Don't many of us post, in here, with the thought in mind, that we'll get positive replies and/or smiley faces? 

In truth, I find it a little odd that you're annoyed by your own daughter's FB posts, and that you're dogging her......


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## Lewkat (Jun 12, 2020)

By her post, it doesn't appear to me that she's fishing for a compliment but stating a fact.


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## Judycat (Jun 12, 2020)

Fishing? How about catching the fish and clobbering everyone with it? 

I want a compliment right now. Tell me I'm a beautiful cat or I'll ignore you. Grrr.


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## Gary O' (Jun 12, 2020)

Lewkat said:


> By her post, it doesn't appear to me that she's fishing for a compliment but stating a fact.



Maybe a small lure

In any event, I usually just agree with something like;

*'Yeah, beauty is only skin deep
Ugly goes to the bone'*


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## MarciKS (Jun 12, 2020)

judy's a good kitty and pretty kitty.


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## MarciKS (Jun 12, 2020)

you know @rkunsaw i would post quotes on fb that said things i believed in and liked and people would sometimes interpret that as me feeling that way. sometimes i did and sometimes i just liked the quotes. but that's the only time i got told anything. so i don't know if i'd be so quick to judge. there may be something going on in her life that you're not aware of. my father would make little smart remarks on my posts which eventually lead to me not wanting to talk to him at all. i'm not saying you're wrong i'm just saying there may be more to it. just maybe keep it in mind.


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## Judycat (Jun 12, 2020)

MarciKS said:


> judy's a good kitty and pretty kitty.


Ha. Many thanks. Purr.


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## Pinky (Jun 12, 2020)

Judycat said:


> Fishing? How about catching the fish and clobbering everyone with it?
> 
> I want a compliment right now. Tell me I'm a beautiful cat or I'll ignore you. Grrr.


LOL! Such a gorgeous pussycat


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## Been There (Jun 12, 2020)

Generally, this is a form of insecurity. She’s not alone. A lot of Hollywood elites go after compliments. One of the worse people is Kevin James, who doesn’t do well at the box office, but does do better on TV. 
Karen Carpenter never thought she was good enough because her brother would always seek out perfection. We all know how that worked out.


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## RadishRose (Jun 12, 2020)

treeguy64 said:


> Don't many of us post, in here, with the thought in mind, that we'll get positive replies and/or smiley faces?


Oh God yes! Everyone likes approval sometimes Some are needier than others, due to insecurities, I agree.


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## Em in Ohio (Jun 12, 2020)

In the 89 years of my mother's life, she never complimented me once, as far back as I can remember.  She resented me, hated me.
I hated her back.  A little positive feedback can go a long way.


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## Aunt Bea (Jun 12, 2020)

Judycat said:


> I want a compliment right now. Tell me I'm a beautiful cat or I'll ignore you. Grrr.


_Soft kitty, Warm kitty, little ball of fur, Sleepy kitty, happy kitty, purr! purr! purr! _


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## CindyLouWho (Jun 12, 2020)

Aunt Bea said:


> _Soft kitty, Warm kitty, little ball of fur, Sleepy kitty, happy kitty, purr! purr! purr! _


Good one, Aunt Bea! I sing this to my 18 year old kitty.  I guess you used to watch The Big Bang Theory too. Best show ever.


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## MarciKS (Jun 12, 2020)

I love soft kitty


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## In The Sticks (Jun 12, 2020)

Judycat said:


> Fishing? How about catching the fish and clobbering everyone with it?
> 
> I want a compliment right now. Tell me I'm a beautiful cat or I'll ignore you. Grrr.


Uh, if I ever want a furball coughed up, you're at the top of my list.  (Don't ask how long my list is.)


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## In The Sticks (Jun 12, 2020)

Em in Ohio said:


> In the 89 years of my mother's life, she never complimented me once, as far back as I can remember.  She resented me, hated me.
> I hated her back.  A little positive feedback can go a long way.


You sound like me.

I learned that it doesn't take a lot to undermine someone, and it doesn't take a lot to build them up, either.


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## In The Sticks (Jun 12, 2020)

How old is your daughter?

I gotta say that I feel for adolsescents who live on social media.  At that age, it's like tethering their emotions to a tailless kite, or maybe to an anchor and tossing it overboard.  I imagine all of us have felt the sting, or unintentionally caused it...and we've already developed out sense of self.


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## MarciKS (Jun 12, 2020)

The internet is a cruel place to be at times.


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## Judycat (Jun 12, 2020)

Em in Ohio said:


> In the 89 years of my mother's life, she never complimented me once, as far back as I can remember.  She resented me, hated me.
> I hated her back.  A little positive feedback can go a long way.


My mom was the same way. No compliments, but a lot of criticism. She was often spiteful and malicious and I swear envious. What kind of nut is jealous of her own kid? I gave up too.


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## Duster (Jun 12, 2020)

Judycat is cuter than:


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## MarciKS (Jun 12, 2020)

Quick...someone stroke my ego


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## Judycat (Jun 12, 2020)

You are the smartest and the best-est.


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## MarciKS (Jun 12, 2020)

LOL


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## grahamg (Jun 12, 2020)

rkunsaw said:


> I dunno. It sure seems that way. I just put three of these  in the comments.


I admire your "tough live" stance, keep it up, and unless your daughter is having a joke with her friends she'll need it, or even think you for it, down the line!   .


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## grahamg (Jun 12, 2020)

Been There said:


> Generally, this is a form of insecurity. She’s not alone. A lot of Hollywood elites go after compliments. One of the worse people is Kevin James, who doesn’t do well at the box office, but does do better on TV.
> Karen Carpenter never thought she was good enough because her brother would always seek out perfection. We all know how that worked out.


Richard loved her though, and the strain of fame and all the adoration for the wonderful voice can't always have been easy for a sensitive person having to perform all the time to cope with regardless of anything else.


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## Em in Ohio (Jun 13, 2020)

rkunsaw said:


> My daughter is constantly doing this on facebook. She gets them too. Why do people do this?
> 
> Today her post went like this:
> 
> ...


I liked what your daughter said in this post.  If respondents chose to compliment _her_, so what?  I really don't understand why you would have a problem with this.  Perhaps a little more positive input from home would benefit you both.


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## Been There (Jun 13, 2020)

grahamg said:


> Richard loved her though, and the strain of fame and all the adoration for the wonderful voice can't always have been easy for a sensitive person having to perform all the time to cope with regardless of anything else.


OK, but who had the bigger problem? Karen with her eating disorder or Richard and his mother with their need for perfection and also OCD?


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## Rosemarie (Jun 13, 2020)

Been There said:


> Generally, this is a form of insecurity. She’s not alone. A lot of Hollywood elites go after compliments. One of the worse people is Kevin James, who doesn’t do well at the box office, but does do better on TV.
> Karen Carpenter never thought she was good enough because her brother would always seek out perfection. We all know how that worked out.


Yes, you could be right. People who feel 'not quite good enough' may use social media to boost their self-esteem. My daughter in law practically shares her whole life on FB and Youtube. I'm at a loss to understand why.


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## jujube (Jun 13, 2020)

How about the other fishing expedition...……"vague-posting"?    I have someone who does that, constantly.  "Oh, well, maybe tomorrow will be better" or "I'll be glad when this day finally ends" or "Sad day today" or "Sometimes it gets just too difficult" with no other explanation for the post.

Then come the replies...."oh, no, what happened?" or "Are you sick?" or "I'll keep you in my prayers", etc.

You'd think after several years of this nobody would bite, wouldn't you?  Wrongo.


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## Gary O' (Jun 13, 2020)

Em in Ohio said:


> In the 89 years of my mother's life, she never complimented me once, as far back as I can remember. She resented me, hated me.
> I hated her back. A little positive feedback can go a long way.


I can identify with the no compliments
Don't think mine hated me
Just think I was sorta not there
Just somebody to clothe/feed
Looking back, that really worked out pretty well


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## In The Sticks (Jun 13, 2020)

Judycat said:


> You are the smartest and the best-est.


And you are grammariffic!


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## rkunsaw (Jun 13, 2020)

A lot of good responses. For the record my daughter is 52. She has 2,171 friends on facebook. Four commented on her post.


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## gennie (Jun 13, 2020)

In my opinion, Facebook has ruined a perfectly good word - 'friend' -  by making it meaningless.  Another good word that social media has ruined -'like'.  Both used to actually mean something.  

JMHO so don't anybody get their panties in a twist.


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## IrisSenior (Jun 13, 2020)

Ok my panties are in a twist now. I DO have friends (and family) on FB and I DO use the 'like' and mean it. If I don't like someone's post on FB then I ignore it. Some things are ruined on FB and that is sad. I post stuff that I think someone wiil like and is they don't, so what.


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## grahamg (Jun 13, 2020)

I've got just a few friends on Facebook, (either because I'm not very friendly or didn't bother with it for a long time.  ). Anyway, because of the lockdown I decided to seek out a few more people I knew as acquaintances really, and most are fine, funny, interesting and all that, but one or two I wish I hadn't bothered. What seems to interest them puts me right off, or annoys me a bit, and if I knew how to remove them without their realising they'd been dropped I'd do so.   .


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## jujube (Jun 13, 2020)

grahamg said:


> I've got just a few friends on Facebook, (either because I'm not very friendly or didn't bother with it for a long time.  ). Anyway, because of the lockdown I decided to seek out a few more people I knew as acquaintances really, and most are fine, funny, interesting and all that, but one or two I wish I hadn't bothered. What seems to interest them puts me right off, or annoys me a bit, and *if I knew how to remove them without their realising they'd been dropped I'd do so.  .*



There's a setting where you remain _friends,_ but you don't see their posts....or you can "snooze" them for 30 days and not see their posts.


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## In The Sticks (Jun 13, 2020)

gennie said:


> In my opinion, Facebook has ruined a perfectly good word - 'friend' -  by making it meaningless.  Another good word that social media has ruined -'like'.  Both used to actually mean something.
> 
> JMHO so don't anybody get their panties in a twist.


But don't you, like, like Like?

Humanity is not moving forward, is it?  I was recently observing that the sci-fi I read growing up hypothesized that we would have no need of our bodies in the future, and everything would be based on a higher order of thought.  I think they got that one backwards.


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## Em in Ohio (Jun 13, 2020)

In The Sticks said:


> But don't you, like, like Like?
> 
> Humanity is not moving forward, is it?  I was recently observing that the sci-fi I read growing up hypothesized that we would have no need of our bodies in the future, and everything would be based on a higher order of thought.  I think they got that one backwards.


Sci fi predicted that we wouldn't need our bodies - but, much of our current population only seems to require thumbs!


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## In The Sticks (Jun 13, 2020)

Em in Ohio said:


> Sci fi predicted that we wouldn't need our bodies - but, much of our current population only seems to require thumbs!



And look at how I responded:


*sigh*


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## gennie (Jun 13, 2020)

IrisSenior said:


> Ok my panties are in a twist now. I DO have friends (and family) on FB and I DO use the 'like' and mean it. If I don't like someone's post on FB then I ignore it. Some things are ruined on FB and that is sad. I post stuff that I think someone wiil like and is they don't, so what.


Please, Iris, untwist quickly.  That can cause terrible circulation problems.


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## peppermint (Jun 13, 2020)

rkunsaw said:


> She posts similar stuff all the time so it can't be something someone said. I think she has a cult of followers who always tell her how great she us.


Maybe she should stop having followers


MarciKS said:


> The internet is a cruel place to be at times.


Yes it is....I don't go there....I am not on face book.....I only have 2 forums I go to....


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## MarciKS (Jun 13, 2020)

peppermint said:


> Maybe she should stop having followers
> 
> Yes it is....I don't go there....I am not on face book.....I only have 2 forums I go to....


I left Facebook.


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## MarciKS (Jun 13, 2020)

rkunsaw said:


> A lot of good responses. For the record my daughter is 52. She has 2,171 friends on facebook. Four commented on her post.


You want to know something weird? I had a friend on there who was drop dead gorgeous when we were younger. She did a couple tv commercials and some modeling. Now she's a yr or 2 behind me in age and she will slap up the same photos every month of herself to get them commented on and re-liked. It was getting old. Maybe it's just that age group.


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## Rosemarie (Jun 15, 2020)

Judycat said:


> My mom was the same way. No compliments, but a lot of criticism. She was often spiteful and malicious and I swear envious. What kind of nut is jealous of her own kid? I gave up too.


My mother was also a jealous,  spiteful  b..... I thought it was me being paranoid until other people commented on it. Now that we are all adults, my siblings and I can appreciate the negative impact she had on all our lives.
Funnily enough, my daughter has always been jealous of me! She's a very pretty, intelligent girl so it's hard to understand.


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## Judycat (Jun 15, 2020)

I don't use FB. I have an account, but for some reason the format doesn't appeal to me. I am weird however, so there is that.


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## Pepper (Jun 15, 2020)

Judycat said:


> My mom was the same way. No compliments, but a lot of criticism. She was often spiteful and malicious and I swear envious. *What kind of nut is jealous of her own kid?* I gave up too.


Having kids is a biological function.  It doesn't change who one is.


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## Judycat (Jun 15, 2020)

Pepper said:


> Having kids is a biological function.  It doesn't change who one is.


Have you biologically given birth to children?


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## Pepper (Jun 15, 2020)

Judycat said:


> Have you biologically given birth to children?


Is that a trick question?  I have had children.  I wanted them, or else I wouldn't have.


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## Judycat (Jun 15, 2020)

So my mother was a breeder and my dad was a sperm donor. I get where you're coming from.


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## OneEyedDiva (Jul 19, 2020)

Judycat said:


> Fishing? How about catching the fish and clobbering everyone with it?
> 
> I want a compliment right now. Tell me I'm a beautiful cat or I'll ignore you. Grrr.


You're *such* a pretty kitty Judycat!


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## Aunt Marg (Jul 19, 2020)

win231 said:


> Well, maybe she's not "Fishing for compliments."  Maybe she's just speaking her mind.
> Sometimes, I'll post something similar & once in a while, someone (who's not a nice person) will accuse me of "Trying to be a hero."
> Such people often wish they were more like the person they criticize.


That's how I see it, too, Win.


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