# Sprinkling ashes phobia



## BlunderWoman (Apr 1, 2016)

I can't go to any service where the ashes are being sprinkled. My father wants me to sprinkle his ashes over the Rocky Mountains. I told him I can't do it. My older sister will do it. When my father took the urn of my step mother to the place she wanted her ashes sprinkled, I could not go. I have a huge fear of the ashes getting on me or up my nose or something. I do not want to breathe in the burned body parts of anyone & the idea of it happening to me freaks me out. I don't know if there is a name for this phobia or if anyone else has it...but I definitely do.


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## Falcon (Apr 1, 2016)

That wouldn't really bother me.  You'd be surprised to know what's going up your nose at any given time. 

Think about it.


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## mattc (Apr 1, 2016)

I have to agree, it is difficult to know what the things we are breathing each day might be.not likely funeral ashes i suppose but certainly STUFF!This topic reminds me of a very melancoly song by This Mortal Coil,the Jeweler https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eLNKjlMYvIA doesn't help the mood but I had to listen.


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## vickyNightowl (Apr 1, 2016)

Matt,lol
That would be the right song to play while sprinkling ashes,lol


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## mattc (Apr 1, 2016)

vickyNightowl said:


> Matt,lol
> That would be the right song to play while sprinkling ashes,lol


Just very dark,huh?


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## BlunderWoman (Apr 1, 2016)

mattc said:


> I have to agree, it is difficult to know what the things we are breathing each day might be.not likely funeral ashes i suppose but certainly STUFF!This topic reminds me of a very melancoly song by This Mortal Coil,the Jeweler https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eLNKjlMYvIA doesn't help the mood but I had to listen.


I'm sorry but I can't watch youtubes & such right now. I freaked out when I got my latest bill. I have to cut way back on data usage.


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## fureverywhere (Apr 1, 2016)

Matt put a shirt on son really. But BW ashes to ashes and dust to dust. Really that is the way we all check out ultimately. Even with the most expensive embalming...yup fruit gone bad. I feel ashes are cleaner and might benefit the earth more. Do you want the dear departed to mold away on their own. Or maybe fertilize life already existing? A personal question but I know my choice.


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## Butterfly (Apr 1, 2016)

Just be sure to stand upwind and you should be OK.  Seriously.


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## Lon (Apr 1, 2016)

By mutual agreement, my first wife and I wanted cremation and our ashes scattered by the survivor. She died in 1889 and I scattered half of her cremains along the green of the 15th hole on the golf course to which we belonged and the other half in the rose bed which she tended out side our bedroom. I will be scattered in San Francisco Bay.


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## vickyNightowl (Apr 1, 2016)

fureverywhere said:


> Matt put a shirt on son really. But BW ashes to ashes and dust to dust. Really that is the way we all check out ultimately. Even with the most expensive embalming...yup fruit gone bad. I feel ashes are cleaner and might benefit the earth more. Do you want the dear departed to mold away on their own. Or maybe fertilize life already existing? A personal question but I know my choice.



Lololol. 

Is it allowed to just sprinkle peoples ashes wherever they want?


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## BlunderWoman (Apr 1, 2016)

fureverywhere said:


> Matt put a shirt on son really. But BW ashes to ashes and dust to dust. Really that is the way we all check out ultimately. Even with the most expensive embalming...yup fruit gone bad. I feel ashes are cleaner and might benefit the earth more. Do you want the dear departed to mold away on their own. Or maybe fertilize life already existing? A personal question but I know my choice.


I have nothing against the idea of cremation or the choice to be cremated, I just don't want to be anywhere near the loose ashes being sprinkled. It's the fear of getting it on me or in me through breathing it in.


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## BlunderWoman (Apr 1, 2016)

Butterfly said:


> Just be sure to stand upwind and you should be OK.  Seriously.


I'm sure what I have might be an irrational fear, but I can't shake it.


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## mattc (Apr 1, 2016)

Yes I agree that it is a very personal choice and nothing wrong with having a fear of it at all. (i cropped the offensive parts of the photo,hopefully everyone will feel more at ease)


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## Warrigal (Apr 1, 2016)

Try to change the way you think about ashes.

"From star dust ye were made and to star dust ye shall return".







One way or the other, we will all become star dust, and that is a lovely destination.


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## Guitarist (Apr 1, 2016)

BlunderWoman said:


> I'm sorry but I can't watch youtubes & such right now. I freaked out when I got my latest bill. I have to cut way back on data usage.



Do you mean on your phone?  Get a Straight Talk phone.  $45/month unlimited everything. Prepay, no billing, no hidden fees.  

I hear ya about the ashes.  I've never been where they sprinkled them but I got totally freaked out in a church one day seeing the size of the box the ashes had come in.  I was just in the office, not the service, but it freaked me out.  And I did not even know the person.


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## Lon (Apr 1, 2016)

Cremains are not really that dusty or fine. Being basically bone fragments they are fairly course.


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## mattc (Apr 1, 2016)

I find it surprising seeing the box instead of a coffin at many funerals now days but it is very common.


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## Manatee (Apr 1, 2016)

We will go into the Gulf of Mexico.


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## jujube (Apr 1, 2016)

I sprinkled some of my husband's ashes off the back of a boat at his favorite fishing spot after his memorial service.  The wind was blowing.  Do I need to tell you what happened?  I was picking him out of my hair for the rest of the day.  I think I swallowed some, too.  

I gave some to my daughter; she planted a tree over them.....she said she wanted to be able, when she had problems, to go out and "talk to the tree".  

Over the past ten years, I have scattered ashes in places he particularly enjoyed and, as luck will have it, I've managed to get some on me every darned time.  

I still have a large jar of them left (he was a good-sized guy and after they took all the parts that were still useful, there was still quite a bit left).  I'm not sure what I'm going to eventually do with them.  Probably keep a very small container of them and go back to the lake where he was the happiest and scatter the rest.  I'll know when it's time.


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## mattc (Apr 1, 2016)

I think that is a pretty nice thing that you are doing with the ashes Jujube.It has a good feeling to it,still sharing things in a way.


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## BlunderWoman (Apr 1, 2016)

jujube said:


> I sprinkled some of my husband's ashes off the back of a boat at his favorite fishing spot after his memorial service.  The wind was blowing.  Do I need to tell you what happened?  I was picking him out of my hair for the rest of the day.  I think I swallowed some, too.
> 
> I've managed to get some on me every darned time.
> 
> .



OMG. And my dad wanted me to sprinkle them out of a small plane.  What you have written that happened to you is exactly what I'm afraid of.


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## Underock1 (Apr 1, 2016)

Warrigal said:


> Try to change the way you think about ashes.
> 
> "From star dust ye were made and to star dust ye shall return".
> 
> ...



Thank you, Warri. I agree whole heartedly. A beautiful photo and our philosophy exactly. When I go our ashes will be mixed and returned together to the universe.


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## BlunderWoman (Apr 1, 2016)

Underock1 said:


> Thank you, Warri. I agree whole heartedly. A beautiful photo and our philosophy exactly. When I go our ashes will be mixed and returned together to the universe.



You are such a romantic. That's so sweet. 
Yes Warri the photo & sentiment is beautiful .


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## Laurie (Apr 2, 2016)

vickyNightowl said:


> Lololol.
> 
> Is it allowed to just sprinkle peoples ashes wherever they want?



There are some places with restrictions.  A local beauty spot has such a restriction as so many ashes were being scattered there that it was affecting the soil structure and local flora.

I scattered my wife's ashes in our local harbour, just a ten minute walk away, 

http://www.undiscoveredscotland.co.uk/anstruther/cellardyke/

and in her favourite corner of her beloved garden.

It was the last thing I could do for her, and I did it entirely alone.

Curiously enough I was not sad, but felt very peaceful and tranquil.


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## jujube (Apr 2, 2016)

I want mine packed into a skyrocket and shot out over a body of water.  There is a company that will do that for you.


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## Underock1 (Apr 2, 2016)

jujube said:


> I want mine packed into a skyrocket and shot out over a body of water.  There is a company that will do that for you.



Yes. I know of someone who made himself a potato cannon. When he died, they had a party and fired his ashes out of the cannon into Delaware Bay! Lol! What a great way to do it.


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## mattc (Apr 2, 2016)

Underock1 said:


> Yes. I know of someone who made himself a potato cannon. When he died, they had a party and fired his ashes out of the cannon into Delaware Bay! Lol! What a great way to do it.


Now that's cool particularly that he made the launcher himself.


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## Manatee (Apr 2, 2016)

Lon said:


> By mutual agreement, my first wife and I wanted cremation and our ashes scattered by the survivor. She died in 1889 and I scattered half of her cremains along the green of the 15th hole on the golf course to which we belonged and the other half in the rose bed which she tended out side our bedroom. I will be scattered in San Francisco Bay.



Lon, 1889?


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## Debby (Apr 2, 2016)

jujube said:


> I sprinkled some of my husband's ashes off the back of a boat at his favorite fishing spot after his memorial service.  The wind was blowing.  Do I need to tell you what happened?  I was picking him out of my hair for the rest of the day.  I think I swallowed some, too.
> 
> I gave some to my daughter; she planted a tree over them.....she said she wanted to be able, when she had problems, to go out and "talk to the tree".
> 
> ...



'He's' determined not to be parted it seems!


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## Debby (Apr 2, 2016)

Manatee said:


> Lon, 1889?




Did you ever watch that show 'The Immortal'?  Maybe we have one in our midst !


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## Lon (Apr 2, 2016)

Manatee said:


> Lon, 1889?



1989


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## Underock1 (Apr 2, 2016)

BlunderWoman said:


> You are such a romantic. That's so sweet.
> Yes Warri the photo & sentiment is beautiful .



Yeah. I am. My mother dragged me with her to too many romantic movies when I was a little kid. I must be a split personality. I am also a confirmed realist. Its been my experience that life is the enemy of romance.


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## Pinky (Apr 2, 2016)

My nephew sprinkled my brother-in-law's ashes at the lake that was his favourite fishing spot. I thought that was a very loving gesture. As to whether I could do it, I'm not sure.


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## vickyNightowl (Apr 2, 2016)

I want to be on my kids mantle,lol


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