# Arguing With a Woman



## win231 (Aug 27, 2021)

Arguing with a woman is like getting arrested.
Everything you say can and will be used against you.


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## ohioboy (Aug 27, 2021)

If you can not afford a lawyer to speak for you, your wife will talk the Judge to death.


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## timoc (Aug 27, 2021)

Arguing With a Woman​
Now I stand to be corrected of course, because I'm no historian, but in olden times men used to be Knighted for arguing back to a woman.
They would go before the Sovereign, kneel and be dubbed by the regal sword, however, that came to a stop with Elizabeth 1st, for men who dared to look at her the wrong way, instead of tapping the man infront of her on the shoulders with her weapon, she was inclined to do a wide swipe sideways, resulting in all those Knights with no heads called, Sir Oops 1, Sir Oops 2, Sir Oops 3 etc................ go on, tell me I'm wrong.


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## ohioboy (Aug 27, 2021)

And Sir Osis and Sir Loin.


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## timoc (Aug 27, 2021)

And then........

There were all those deaf fellas who couldn't hear their womenfolk tongue lashing them, so the women invented 'sign language', so lots of blokes pretended to be blind.......


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## horseless carriage (Aug 27, 2021)

win231 said:


> Arguing with a woman is like getting arrested.
> Everything you say can and will be used against you.


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## Aunt Bea (Aug 27, 2021)




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## Ceege (Aug 27, 2021)

I once heard a comedian say that when men get into fights with women, women don't fight fair.  They use facts and logic.


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## timoc (Aug 27, 2021)

Aunt Bea said:


> View attachment 180702


"Yikes, he won a few, what a guy!!"


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## fmdog44 (Aug 27, 2021)

So my wife says to me, "I'd like to go somewhere that I have never been before." I replied, "Why not start with the kitchen."

-Henny Youngman


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## feywon (Aug 27, 2021)

horseless carriage said:


> View attachment 180681


That's a Robert A. Heinlein quote.
It matters because he was a Science Fiction Author.


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## Bellbird (Aug 27, 2021)

Ceege said:


> I once heard a comedian say that when men get into fights with women, women don't fight fair.  They use facts and logic.


No more needs to be said.


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## cdestroyer (Aug 27, 2021)

After being married for 50 years a man took a careful look at his wife one day and said...
"fifty" years ago we had a cheap house, a junk car and slept on a sofa bed and watched
a 10 inch black and white tv, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 18 year old girl..

Now... I have a $500,000 home, a $35,000 car and a nice big bed and a large screen
tv, but I'm sleeping with a 68 year old woman. It seems to me that you're not holding up
your side of things."

His wife being a very reasonable woman told him to go out and find a hot 18 year old girl
and she would make sure that he would once again be living in a cheap house, driving a junk car
sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10 inch black and white tv.


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## Packerjohn (Aug 27, 2021)

I think the great country singer, Hank Williams, had some experience with his wife and tells us so in some of the songs he wrote:

1.
Well then she started nagging

She left the sink a'sagging

With dishes piled up high

No food upon the table she said if she was able

She'd cook something bye and bye

Then I began to wonder if I had made a blunder

When I said I do she must have read my thinking

Her eyes began to blinking and that gal broke in two


2.
Why do we stay together

We always fuss and fight

You ain't never known to be wrong

And I ain't never been right


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## horseless carriage (Aug 27, 2021)

cdestroyer said:


> After being married for 50 years a man took a careful look at his wife one day and said...
> "fifty" years ago we had a cheap house, a junk car and slept on a sofa bed and watched
> a 10 inch black and white tv, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 18 year old girl..
> 
> ...


You have got it there my friend, in one. How I would dearly exchange ny worldly goods for a rampant, ahem, masculine desire.


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## Murrmurr (Aug 27, 2021)

feywon said:


> That's a Robert A. Heinlein quote.
> It matters because he was a Science Fiction Author.


He was also a husband a couple of times. Once, for 15 years.


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## RnR (Aug 27, 2021)




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## RobinWren (Aug 27, 2021)

RnR said:


> View attachment 180776


I love this


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## RobinWren (Aug 27, 2021)

thanks for the laugh


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## senior chef (Aug 27, 2021)




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## Gaer (Aug 27, 2021)

When I would have a little fit in front of my late husband, he would look down at me and ask, "Are you finished?"
I would think about it for a moment and say, "Yes."
Then he would pull me close, hug me and give me a kiss.
I always forgot what I was mad about.


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## Mr. Ed (Aug 28, 2021)

Should I ever, ever argue with my wife I get the silent treatment. Doesn’t matter who’s right or wrong, I’m the one who tries to make amends. Women have an advantage over men by withholding mariatial privileges. It’s not fair for one person to have such power over another.


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## win231 (Aug 28, 2021)

Studies show that women who are slightly overweight live longer........
than the men who mention it.


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## fmdog44 (Aug 28, 2021)

Marriage is like a hurricane, first you get blown then you lose your house.


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## horseless carriage (Aug 28, 2021)




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## grahamg (Aug 28, 2021)

Ceege said:


> I once heard a comedian say that when men get into fights with women, women don't fight fair.  They use facts and logic.


Yes, and one side is unarmed I believe!


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## grahamg (Aug 28, 2021)




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## grahamg (Aug 28, 2021)




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## senior chef (Aug 28, 2021)

grahamg said:


> View attachment 180875


That's fantastic. I love it.


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## grahamg (Aug 28, 2021)

win231 said:


> Arguing with a woman is like getting arrested.
> Everything you say can and will be used against you.


A mate of mine takes the precaution of making notes after encountering those he doesn't trust very much, and once after a visit to my father's farm could even tell me what our discussion had been about when he was leaving.
It would be more accurate to say he recorded what he'd said, (rather than my responses), though it wasn't myself or my dad he didn't trust, but a female he dubbed "The Captain"!


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## Ceege (Aug 28, 2021)

There is really a simple solution to all of this.  _Don't argue with a woman._ 
Easy peasy.


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## Sylkkiss (Aug 28, 2021)

Sometimes arguing rewards couples with nice makeup time...

I recalled a Biblical passage and used it for a chapter heading in one of my books.

"Better to dwell in the corner of a housetop than with a brawling woman in a wide house." --Proverbs 21:9


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## grahamg (Aug 28, 2021)

Ceege said:


> There is really a simple solution to all of this.  _Don't argue with a woman._
> Easy peasy.


Ahhhhh, logic, even the logic of both most men and most women might dictate this as the best policy, but some fools like myself might live in the hope changing a woman's mind is possible, so odds of a million to one against become acceptable in those circumstances!


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## Ceege (Aug 29, 2021)

grahamg said:


> Ahhhhh, logic, even the logic of both most men and most women might dictate this as the best policy, but some fools like myself might live in the hope changing a woman's mind is possible, so odds of a million to one against become acceptable in those circumstances!


Why would a woman allow a man to change her mind?  It's perfect just as it is.  
_There's that pesky logic again._


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## grahamg (Aug 29, 2021)

Ceege said:


> Why would a woman allow a man to change her mind?  It's perfect just as it is.
> _There's that pesky logic again._


Funny you should say that, (I really enjoyed the comment).
However, try as I might I cannot believe every woman is quite so perfect in the mind department as your good self, hence my undoubtedly foolish quest to change the odd ones mind now and again, (I'm not talking "Taming of the shrew" here btw!).


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## Ceege (Aug 29, 2021)

What it all boils down to is that it's not really the gender.  It's the way of thinking.  After working with the public for so long, I found that we all don't think on the same wave length.  It's fun to joke about the battle of the sexes, but it's really a difference in how people learn to process information and make common sense decisions.  One good decision is never underestimate someone based on whether they are male or female.


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## horseless carriage (Aug 29, 2021)

Ceege said:


> There is really a simple solution to all of this.  _Don't argue with a woman._
> Easy peasy.


Behind every angry woman stands a man, who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong.


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## grahamg (Aug 29, 2021)

Ceege said:


> What it all boils down to is that it's not really the gender.  It's the way of thinking.  After working with the public for so long, I found that we all don't think on the same wave length.  It's fun to joke about the battle of the sexes, but it's really a difference in how people learn to process information and make common sense decisions.  One good decision is never underestimate someone based on whether they are male or female.


"_After working with the the public for so long_",..........., (you have both my admiration and sympathy, lest you enjoyed it of course?)!  
A very good old boss of mine used to say he'd assume whoever it was he had to deal with in business was always smarter than he was, so he took every precaution not to be taken advantage of or whatever, (the vast majority then turned out not to be anywhere near him in terms of intellect or thoroughness, but his assumption still hadn't failed him had it). 
A cousin of mine used to complain about her husband, not because they were not suited or anything like that, but because when she tried to provoke him she found he wouldn't take the bait, (they're still together fifty years on, and very happily married).


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## senior chef (Aug 29, 2021)

grahamg said:


> "_After working with the the public for so long_",..........., (you have both my admiration and sympathy, lest you enjoyed it of course?)!
> A very good old boss of mine used to say he'd assume whoever it was he had to deal with in business was always smarter than he was, so he took every precaution not to be taken advantage of or whatever, (the vast majority then turned out not to be anywhere near him in terms of intellect or thoroughness, but his assumption still hadn't failed him had it).
> A cousin of mine used to complain about her husband, not because they were not suited or anything like that, but* because when she tried to provoke him she found he wouldn't take the bait*, (they're still together fifty years on, and very happily married).


Excellent advice ! A nagging woman is like someone behind your car and leaning on the horn. Hard to do nothing.


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## Gary O' (Aug 29, 2021)

This thread reminds me of yet another poster of mine;


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## grahamg (Aug 29, 2021)

horseless carriage said:


> Behind every angry woman stands a man, who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong.


"I remember an argument I had with my then wife", where she admitted complaining about whatever it was I'd done, before it had actually gone awry, "because its too late when it does go wrong"!!!!!!


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## oldpanightowl (Aug 29, 2021)

Ceege said:


> There is really a simple solution to all of this.  _Don't argue with a woman._
> Easy peasy.


Wise words indeed.


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