# My pity party



## Son_of_Perdition (Oct 13, 2014)

After the article about NSA's secret installations and Veterans Day looming, along with the current picture of one that I had worked at during my 4 year enlistment in the USAFSS, I found myself having a pity party.  A flood of memories overcame me and I spent the weekend Googling everything I could find about both my assignments.   

 I found a YouTube video of a walk through of my old now abandoned base in Germany, It showed the three barracks that I had lived in.  It brought back memories of friends and work mates, it showed the parking lot that we had carried one of our buddies, his mattress with him in it, brogans, and bedding then set it up like it had been in the barracks after he had spent the night drinking more than a normal human should have.  He woke up, dressed went to breakfast and returned to his bed to enjoy the Stars and Strips as if nothing had happened.

 Another site had a list of former members of the Security Service who have passed.  I found a few names I recalled and spend a moment reminiscing about my association with them.  Some were my superiors and some with my barracks mates.  I know life must go on but because of the nature of our work, we were never allowed talk about it and have closure or complete knowledge (need to know) of our contributions.  It was only in 1997 that everything we didn't burn was declassified and open to the public.

 I remembered my anger while standing before the Vietnam memorial in Washington DC, looking along the list of casualties of the 58,000+ lives that were sacrificed in an ill conceived and poorly executed war.  I had looked up friends and relatives names along the wall, remembering the good times with them.  I am not one to contribute to street corner panhandlers but I handed over a $50 bill willingly to the Vietnam Vet table at the end of the memorial.    

 I look back thinking about my belief mechanisms that controlled my life at that time and how I defended our role in that war.  I remembered my anger with my younger brother's protesting the war and his attempt to avoid the draft, he did join the reserves but ended up with a general discharge when he found out his draft lotto number was 364 and would have never had to go.  I still have issues with it.

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How is it the saying goes about being a veteran.
When you came home from the Second World War you couldn't pay for your own drink in a bar.
When you came home from the Korean War you had to buy your own drink in a bar.
When you came home from the Vietnam War you had to buy the house a round to drink in a bar.


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## RadishRose (Oct 13, 2014)

Some things stay with us. I'm glad you expressed your feelings here!


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## AprilT (Oct 13, 2014)

My heart goes out to your all.  Thank you, thank you, thank you.

To you and I hope many will watch it in honor.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgl7eAVs4Jc

Longer tribute, not long enough, not enough period but very beautiful

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QA1GF9dlXJw


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## Meanderer (Oct 13, 2014)

Thanks Son, for sharing that.  The past is in the past, and sometimes it's best to let it rest there.  Brothers...are a whole different ballgame!


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## Lee (Oct 14, 2014)

Thanks for sharing your story Son. I have a question about your brother's number 364....how many numbers were before that did have to go?


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## oldman (Oct 14, 2014)

Yeah, I completely understand. I still remember seeing the hippies in San Francisco dumping cans of red paint onto a ship that was returning from Vietnam and the sailors were all on deck wearing their dress whites. When I got home, I didn't have one so-called friend from my home town come to see me or call me, or get invited to any parties. The old guys, (now I'm that old guy), from my home town would stop me on the street and talk with me and shake my hand and so forth. Most of them were old WWII vets. They understood. But, for everyone else, even the purple heart on my chest meant nothing. Today, returning servicemen from war zones are instantly labeled heroes. I was called a lot of names, but hero wasn't one of them. As a Marine, I could have cared less at the time, but as the years went by, my anger grew and I had to go see a psychologist. We can talk about that on another day. BTW, just making it through boot camp on the Island was a major accomplishment back then.


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## oldman (Oct 14, 2014)

Son_of_Perdition said:


> After the article about NSA's secret installations and Veterans Day looming, along with the current picture of one that I had worked at during my 4 year enlistment in the USAFSS, I found myself having a pity party.  A flood of memories overcame me and I spent the weekend Googling everything I could find about both my assignments.
> 
> I found a YouTube video of a walk through of my old now abandoned base in Germany, It showed the three barracks that I had lived in.  It brought back memories of friends and work mates, it showed the parking lot that we had carried one of our buddies, his mattress with him in it, brogans, and bedding then set it up like it had been in the barracks after he had spent the night drinking more than a normal human should have.  He woke up, dressed went to breakfast and returned to his bed to enjoy the Stars and Strips as if nothing had happened.
> 
> ...



I did want to thank you for your service, but also let you know that you have a lot to be proud of. Not everyone qualifies for the USAFSS.


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## Ralphy1 (Oct 14, 2014)

I am old USAfSS TA man and spent my time in the PI in the mid-fifties.  I was amazed by our intercept scope and technology then and can only imagine the extent of it now, as we have seen in the Snowden affair...


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## Son_of_Perdition (Oct 14, 2014)

Lee said:


> Thanks for sharing your story Son. I have a question about your brother's number 364....how many numbers were before that did have to go?



I think the that they estimated that only the first 180 numbers would need to be called.  Never did see how far they actually got.  Mine was 335, but since I had already served only in all out war would I have a chance to be recalled.


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## oldman (Oct 14, 2014)

Sorry, now I am confused. Are you saying that after you got out of the service, you still had a draft number? What years did you serve? I am totally lost.


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## Son_of_Perdition (Oct 14, 2014)

oldman said:


> Sorry, now I am confused. Are you saying that after you got out of the service, you still had a draft number? What years did you serve? I am totally lost.



Sorry must have been confusing.  I served from 1963-67.  I was referring to the first lotto sometime in 68-69?  My brother was 18 at the time and had joined the reserves with a college deferment to avoid being drafted.  I was still on ready-reserve.  I was referring to the number I would have had (335), I had never looked up mine until now since the draft was behind me, just curious.


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## oldman (Oct 14, 2014)

OK, now I understand. I graduated high school in 1965 and college in May, 1969. I joined the Marines in 1969, which was the first year of the draft lottery. I joined in September and the draft started in December, I think. I was going to go in the service regardless. My Dad was military and although he didn't urge me to go, I felt I needed to. Anyway, had I gone in the service first, I could have had some help paying for college through the GI bill. Oh, well. it all worked out in the end. I am still undecided if Boot Camp was tougher getting through or Vietnam. (Just kidding.) Vietnam was pure Hell. Boot was just Hell.


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## Son_of_Perdition (Oct 14, 2014)

oldman said:


> I am still undecided if Boot Camp was tougher getting through or Vietnam. (Just kidding.) Vietnam was pure Hell. Boot was just Hell.



After HS graduation I went down to the marine recruiter to join.  It was lunch time and all were closed except the Air Force.  I walked in with my shaved head, long trench coat (the style at the time).  Scored 4 perfect scores on the AF's entrance exam, the recruiter became my bestest buddy.  Signed me before I could change my mind. 

My brother-in-law a former marine (Ontos, anti-tank) had prepared me for boot camp.  He had even been selected to take DI instructor course.  He quit after a few weeks said he couldn't hate himself that much.  His only word of advice, 'Don't volunteer for anything!'  Good advice.  AF boot was more like a physical boy scout camp without adult supervision, 5 weeks half day class and half day playing soldier.


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## Denise1952 (Oct 14, 2014)

Hi Son,

I can't relate to your life, but my heart has always been with our veterans, as well as active duty people now.

It's interesting to find your post though, because I was doing some reflection too, and wanted to post about it, but instead to just write it here.  I think this getting old sucks.  I feel I want another shot at it, but know it's impossible.  I want to get on with my life, so I don't have any time to reflect on things I regret.  I don't know how many feel this way, my guess is a lot.  I admire those that are happy, and content just the way things are, but I can't seem to get there.  

I could blame it all on some poor health, but to be honest with myself and others, I wasn't doing a hell of a lot before I got sick.  So now I'm whining about not being well enough to do some things I want to.  One thing I am grateful for is that I don't blame anyone else for the way I am.  It's about my choices.  Don't get me wrong, this isn't anything about you or your post, except it reminded me of how I feel today.  I come here hoping for companionship, friends, laughs, some place where "everybody knows your name".  I wish I still enjoyed the bars, I did have some great times, dancing, flirting.  Never got to travel the world.  Yeah, you're not alone in your pity-party, if that's any comfort, LOL!!

My heart is with you Sop, as well as all the folks our age that feel this way now, or at some time.  I guess if we don't have something we can look forward to, we only have what is behind.  I think I'll try to figure out something to look forward to.  Ok, I got it, a guy that is enough like me that we can pool our resources, and manage to raise some hell!!


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## jujube (Oct 20, 2014)

My late husband served in the Army Security Agency.  He graduated from the Russian linguistics program of the Defense Language Institute at the Presidio of Monterey.  Typical military thinking.....he spoke fluent French but they sent him for Russian training.    We lived for 2 1/2 years on a common defense installation in the middle east that was a "listening station" that listened not only to Russian military transmissions, but ham radio operators, airplane pilots, commercial radio broadcasts, etc.   You'd hear an pilot radio-chatting with another saying, "Say, Ivan, did you see all those trucks going up the mountain?"  "Why, yes I did, Pyotr......and they must be having a circus up there because of all those large white tents!"   DING-DING-DING!!!


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## oldman (Oct 21, 2014)

jujube said:


> My late husband served in the Army Security Agency.  He graduated from the Russian linguistics program of the Defense Language Institute at the Presidio of Monterey.  Typical military thinking.....he spoke fluent French but they sent him for Russian training.    We lived for 2 1/2 years on a common defense installation in the middle east that was a "listening station" that listened not only to Russian military transmissions, but ham radio operators, airplane pilots, commercial radio broadcasts, etc.   You'd hear an pilot radio-chatting with another saying, "Say, Ivan, did you see all those trucks going up the mountain?"  "Why, yes I did, Pyotr......and they must be having a circus up there because of all those large white tents!"   DING-DING-DING!!!



You have peaked my interest. What years were these that you are referring to when all of this was going on? Was this back in the 40's and was the school located in California (San Francisco, I believe?) The reason that I ask is because I saw something about this on the History Channel a few weeks ago. At the time, I wasn't sure what they were talking about because I joined the show in progress, so I changed the channel. "I think" the school is still active today, is it not? 

Just as a side note, I have a friend that is a ham radio operator. When I visit him I really enjoy listening to him talk to people all over the world. It is really better than the internet for getting news and learning about what's happening where they are at the moment.


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## Ralphy1 (Oct 21, 2014)

We had some ASA guys serve with us USAFSS types for some language help while I served in the Philippines.  We monitored everything in our part of the Far East that came out of China, Vietnam,etc.  it was an eye opening experience how capable we were at electronic eavesdropping.  BTW, the ASA was originally going to be called the Army Security Service.  Can you guess why they decided to call it an agency?


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## oldman (Oct 21, 2014)

Here's a funny little story that had us going for awhile. We were flying late at night (red eye out of Las Vegas to Washington, DC) and we had just left Albuquerque air space and on the radio, I was told to contact Kansas City Center for further instructions, which when the FO was dialing the radio to the proper frequency, he momentarily stopped turning the thumb wheel on the radio and we heard two voices communicating with one giving his location. We showed no aircraft on our radar on the flight deck, so we asked Kansas City if they were picking up the transmission, which sounded like Russians. KC said that they also heard the transmission, but was also not showing anything on radar. The FO looked over at me and asked, "Stealth?" I told him I didn't think it was. Why would the Russians be flying in the middle of U.S. air space in Stealth equipment. My FO thought maybe they were doing some recon, but that was ridiculous. I finally realized that we were being duped by some kids on the ground with ham radios and intercepting our transmissions, which had they been caught, could have gotten them a sentence in a federal pen, depending on their age. Once we alerted them that we were on to them and was tracking their location, (not true), they quickly cut the line. It gave us something to talk about for awhile.


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## Ralphy1 (Oct 21, 2014)

Monterrey was where the military trained linguists.  Lee Harvey Oswald learned Russian there while in the service...


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