# Does it have to be True Love as we get older?



## GeorgiaXplant (Feb 15, 2016)

Not a question for youngsters! Only for those of us of a certain age

If you were to meet someone of like mind whose company you really enjoy and who shares some interests, would you entertain the idea of marriage or living together even if there weren't stars in your eyes, bombs bursting in air, all the romantic stuff we seem to attach to love?

I've always been of a mind that loving someone or being "in love" is not a guarantee that you can live together in harmony. If you can have both, it's a bonus, but if you have someone in your life with whom you share common interests and you respect, would that be enough?


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## QuickSilver (Feb 15, 2016)

GeorgiaXplant said:


> Not a question for youngsters! Only for those of us of a certain age
> 
> If you were to meet someone of like mind whose company you really enjoy and who shares some interests, would you entertain the idea of marriage or living together even if there weren't stars in your eyes, bombs bursting in air, all the romantic stuff we seem to attach to love?
> 
> I've always been of a mind that loving someone or being "in love" is not a guarantee that you can live together in harmony. If you can have both, it's a bonus, but if you have someone in your life with whom you share common interests and you respect, would that be enough?



ABSOLUTELY!!    And that's exactly what I did... I finally met a man whose company I enjoyed... who made me laugh...  who was funny without being sarcastic or mean.... who I enjoyed being with and never got sick of his company.... shared common interests...  everything you mentioned.  But no.. there were never "Stars" or "Firecrackers" going off..  Who needs that... That only goes away and brings disappointment.   I wouldn't trade this man in for a whole boat load of firecrackers..  This is a person I can relax around.. be myself.. and have a peaceful existence..  Marrying him was the best decision I've ever made..  and whose to say what "true love" is anyway?   Happiness and mutual respect means a heck of a lot more than "Stars".   Especially at our ages.


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## AprilT (Feb 15, 2016)

QuickSilver said:


> ABSOLUTELY!!    And that's exactly what I did... I finally met a man whose company I enjoyed... who made me laugh...  who was funny without being sarcastic or mean.... who I enjoyed being with and never got sick of his company.... shared common interests...  everything you mentioned.  But no.. there were never "Stars" or "Firecrackers" going off..  Who needs that... That only goes away and brings disappointment.   I wouldn't trade this man in for a whole boat load of firecrackers..  This is a person I can relax around.. be myself.. and have a peaceful existence..  Marrying him was the best decision I've ever made..  and whose to say what "true love" is anyway?   Happiness and mutual respect means a heck of a lot more than "Stars".   Especially at our ages.



That sounds wonderful and as I think it should be really, the other stuff is just what books and fairy tales tell people it should be like really, one reason I find many so annoying.  Fireworks are fleeting, I mean, it's fun, but, fleeting.


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## fureverywhere (Feb 15, 2016)

Yes QS, I think you have the answer for all of us and it's wonderful.


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## QuickSilver (Feb 15, 2016)

Let me tell you... I met my husband when I was 53 and a veteran of two previous marriages and a few relationships..   I have had my fill of "Fireworks" as they tend to obscure common sense..   I was determined I was going to look for something different the 3rd time around..  I'm very glad I did..


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## GeorgiaXplant (Feb 15, 2016)

I guess it's just "kids"...i.e., those under maybe 40-ish and marrying for the first time...who still believe that it's necessary to find a soul mate and one true love and all that blather.

I've always thought that there were probably a lot of people to fall in love with but probably not a lot of people to live with and be happy.

If I were to meet a Perfectly Good Person of the male persuasion, I don't think I'd be inclined to move on to matrimony or living together, but I would be inclined to cultivate a close friendship. I wouldn't mind having a gentleman caller.


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## jujube (Feb 15, 2016)

No, there doesn't have to be "fireworks".  Mutual respect, affection and compatibility does the trick quite well.  You'll often read about people who have been married 50-60-70 years and they're "still as much in love as when they married."  Good for them.....but for ever one of those couples, there are 1000 couples who have been married for 50 years who are just living together because there isn't anything better to do.  

The elderly woman leans across the table to her husband of 60 years and says, "You know, darling, you still affect me like you did 60 years ago when we married."

"How's that?" he asks.

"When I look at you, my breasts get hot and tingly, just like they used to," she croons.

"No wonder," he growls. "One of them is in your coffee and the other one's floating in your Alka-Seltzer."


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## Cookie (Feb 15, 2016)

True love is a myth of fairy tales and romance novelists.  In the beginning its all hormones anyway --- lucky if we end up liking each other after that wears off, which apparently it does after about a year, according to experts. When these old couples say they are still 'in love' I wonder how they define love.  I imagine they love each other like platonic old friends, minus all the 'magic'.


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## FazeFour (Feb 15, 2016)

I have never believed in True Love, anyway. Not with a partner...true love with my kids, yes, for sure. That's wired in solid unless you mess with the wiring, like with meth or crack or something. As for one person out there meant for me (or anyone), I think that's hogwash. It's natural to "fall in love" when you're young and nubile, because it's necessary. And it's natural for that feeling to fade in time. But that isn't true love, it's body chemistry. Had I visited every nation in the world, and been thorough about it, I could have *fallen in love* with thousands of men per nation.

Wish I'd have had the time.


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## Ruth n Jersey (Feb 15, 2016)

The hubby and I have been married for 44 years. The fire works are long gone. I think we are much different now. Luckily for us we still have respect for each other, common interests and we give each other the space we need which is very important to me. We don't always have to do everything together.. I guess we are like two comfortable old shoes. Cookie, I think you said it best.


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## AprilT (Feb 15, 2016)

I do believe you can be deeply in love with the person, but, absent of fireworks and all that jazz for it to be substantial, that's the part I think we're talking of not needing, true love can mean different things to different people, just not some mythical, epic kind we read about in romance novels, though. I much rather fall into something special with someone I've had as a friend first.  I believe a number of people are very much in love with their spouses and or SO.

 I've had the great passion fireworks in my day, even had it with the man I was really in love with I felt those things for one person before, but it was his soul I fell for, he was a beautiful human being greatly imperfect, as I am, but, a good soul and a person I would have wanted to keep as a friend no matter if we stayed boyfriend girlfriend.   I was the one who ruined, mostly, (his mom didn't help the first time around), it time and time again in our case. But I'm sure It really wasn't meant to be and I don't regret that it's never going to be, but, I miss the friendship part of that relationship most, he was someone, I think I would have loved long after the passion was gone as long as he  stayed true to the inner person I got to know.  Because when all I knew was his surface, to me he was in many ways like any other man I'd dated over the previous years, interested in my surface, I'm sure I could have felt the same about any other who had the same core values as him, but now, I'm not looking, but, if I met a nice person who I start out as friends with as described by the OP, on never mind, I rather not go that route if I can help it, but, I won't say never, ever, ever.


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## fureverywhere (Feb 15, 2016)

I guess we are like two comfortable old shoes. Yes the other night in the ER, way romantic using warm water to wash the blood out of hubby's beard...make him more comfortable after a long night. But that's love, not the kind you imagine as a teen, but that's it. Or for valentines he found the perfect card of two cuddling bull dogs.

I remember doing my internship with some seniors so frail they had to be wheeled to each other's rooms. But it was so sweet to watch. If they could still write they'd have you pass notes to boy and girl friends. Some would be so pleased sitting together for meals and spending the day chatting and watching TV...holding hands. That was true love too.


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## CoMoJayne (May 25, 2016)

I didn't believe that was necessary when I was 18 and met hubby of 44 years.  My mom was so worried because "it will never work if you don't love him".  I do love him and that's based on shared experiences, respect and admiration for the man he is, for what a good roller-coaster rider he is, because I can certainly make life go up and down, for his hands-on always-there parenting, for his generosity and compassion for others, for his strengths where I am weak, (domestic diva I am not, but man can he cook and do laundry!!)  I chose my husband with an open and rational mind, not a stars-in-my-eyes blindness.  NO REGRETS!!  I am still the luckiest wife on the planet and it doesn't mean there weren't fireworks and awesome intimacy too!  That was just icing on the cake.


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## SifuPhil (May 25, 2016)

I always thought _True Love_ was the name of a romance magazine ... 

I went through the firecracker stage as a kid - late teens / early twenties - then I got married. 

That showed a different kind of love.

Then I got divorced - yet another kind of love, or lack thereof.

Became a "monk" for too many years. Total lack of love. 

And now - fireworks again ... :love_heart:


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## Guitarist (May 25, 2016)

IME there has to be at least a little chemistry.  

IMO you have to be best friends for it to work, to last.  

I once knew a member of the clergy, who did counseling, including relationship counseling, who had been married for 20+ years, who said that when a young couple is first married they have sex all the time because they don't know each other well enough to have anything to talk about.

I thought that was so sad.  I can't imagine marrying anyone, or even going on vacation with anyone, with whom I can't talk about anything and everything.  Some people think "intimacy" means only ****** intimacy. I feel sorry for them.  

My parents were each other's best friends.  They each had other friends, but they were each other's best friends.

I think John Lennon said it best, about Yoko, that she was his best mate and then they got to go to bed together and make love. 

I think that's the way it should be.  I have one good friend whom I have known for years but although at first there was some chemistry, the last few times I have seen him I couldn't imagine wanting to go to bed with him. Almost was turned off, not on.  On the other hand, I had another good friend with whom I could talk about anything and everything, we got very intimate because of it and spending a lot of time together in a platonic relationship .... now for some reason he hates my guts and won't have anything to do with me. I thought it would be fun to make love with him; now I am very, very glad I did not. 

Hormones never die, thank goodness.  We never lose our desire, and need, for love and intimacy of whatever kind. 

I would love to have a best friend with a soul that complements mine and with very opposite hormones and sex organs!  A playfellow in every sense of the word.


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## Ruthanne (May 28, 2016)

I am happy to have a good female or male friend to hang out with at times.  I'm not interested in romance/sex anymore.  Had way way too many awful experiences in my life.  I haven't given up, I have just opted to have a different style of life now.  I have a nice lady friend down the street and we have dinner sometimes.  I feel good with her and don't worry about anything.


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## Phoenix (May 30, 2016)

My mom, who had been widowed three times, fell in love in the nursing home.  The facility had an outing to a local garden on the cliffs next to the ocean.  She happened to sit next to him (Del) on the bus.  She was 88, and he was 77.  They both glowed and sparkled around each other.  She started being concerned about having her hair done again.  She started doing things for him, and he loved it.  He had some mental limitations because of illness.  She had those as well.  But how she did shine.  It was wonderful to see.  She was in love with Dad.  She cared about her second and third husband.  She was in love with Del.  It was sweet.

I think each relationship can bring something new.  Sometimes we have physical chemistry.  Sometimes we have emotional and mental chemistry with someone.  It isn't always the same.  But if we have respect for each other, then relationships can blossom into something really special.


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## Guitarist (May 30, 2016)

What a wonderful story, Phoenix! I'm glad you posted it.


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## Phoenix (May 30, 2016)

It was so nice to see my mom happy.  She'd had so many sorrowful things happen to her.  She had always said to never put her into a home.  She was too sick to be at home or live with me.  Once she was there, she was so glad she lived there.  All the staff at the home adored my mother who had always been so shy.  I love Del, like he was an uncle.


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## Shalimar (May 30, 2016)

For the first time in my life, I feel it all. Fireworks, and a mental, emotional, spiritual connection that is off the charts. Having a man who can run around in my mind with me, as I do with him----best ever. Living apart, we have been forced to actually 


communicate, to share on a deeper level. In person, one often speaks spontaneously, no real thought behind the words. When that is denied, even a hug impossible,  communication becomes paramount. Things get real, and the walls come down. My son 

swears by the depth of his online connections. Now I understand what he means, fireworks are great, but fleeting. Depth and commonality have saying power.


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## Phoenix (May 30, 2016)

One of the things that I think we lost during the '60s and '70s was romance.  In our eagerness to hop into bed, we never took the time to get to know each other.  Mystery disappeared into writhing body sweat.  I think that distance can be good for creating the space for romance and courtship.  Maybe that's what's happening with you, Shalimar.  Maybe, you are being introduced to the subtleties that allow love to blossom.


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## fureverywhere (May 30, 2016)

I saw a pic in whatever magazine today...Levar Burton...almost sixty and MMMM Hummm


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## Shalimar (May 30, 2016)

Phoenix, I think you may be right. Certainly being courted is a novel experience for this flower child. I love it. The poet and the Sifu, who ever would have guessed?


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## fureverywhere (May 30, 2016)

Can I have Levar and we live in Barnes and Noble for eternity...with cats and pit bulls? Yeeeeeeeesssss


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## Phoenix (May 30, 2016)

Shalimar said:


> Phoenix, I think you may be right. Certainly being courted is a novel experience for this flower child. I love it. The poet and the Sifu, who ever would have guessed?



They say truth is stranger than fiction.  I believe it.

Tell you what Fur, he's all yours.  Now all you have to do is trap him.


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## fureverywhere (May 30, 2016)

Hubby might hang on another decade and I'm sure Levar is probably taken...ah but we can dream.


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## Phoenix (May 30, 2016)

Dreaming adds a little spice.  That's one thing neat about being a writer.  I get to fantasize love scenes and everything, and I don't have to feel guilty.  It's all contextual.


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## fureverywhere (May 30, 2016)

Okay in fifteen years Darius Rucker in Barnes and Noble? Pleeeze? He can sing and I can read.


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## SifuPhil (May 30, 2016)

Shalimar said:


> For the first time in my life, I feel it all. Fireworks, and a mental, emotional, spiritual connection that is off the charts. Having a man who can run around in my mind with me, as I do with him----best ever. Living apart, we have been forced to actually
> 
> 
> communicate, to share on a deeper level. In person, one often speaks spontaneously, no real thought behind the words. When that is denied, even a hug impossible,  communication becomes paramount. Things get real, and the walls come down. My son
> ...





Shalimar said:


> Phoenix, I think you may be right. Certainly being courted is a novel experience for this flower child. I love it. The poet and the Sifu, who ever would have guessed?



You're making me blush, but thank you, m'Lady.


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## Guitarist (May 30, 2016)

Phoenix said:


> One of the things that I think we lost during the '60s and '70s was romance.  In our eagerness to hop into bed, we never took the time to get to know each other.  Mystery disappeared into writhing body sweat.  I think that distance can be good for creating the space for romance and courtship.  Maybe that's what's happening with you, Shalimar.  Maybe, you are being introduced to the subtleties that allow love to blossom.



A lot of us never went that route, though.  Either we did the traditional fall-in-love-marry thing or we had relationships that didn't involved leaping in and out of beds.  That paled for me very early on, in the early '70s.  When sex becomes the focal point of the relationship, the brass ring on the merry-go-round, it seems that real communication and closeness go out the window.  (OK, mixed metaphor, but it's after midnight here.  )

So now, at my age, it will have to be true love or nothing, and frankly, after this past year, I'd almost just as soon it be nothing.


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## Phoenix (May 31, 2016)

Guitarist said:


> A lot of us never went that route, though.  Either we did the traditional fall-in-love-marry thing or we had relationships that didn't involved leaping in and out of beds.  That paled for me very early on, in the early '70s.  When sex becomes the focal point of the relationship, the brass ring on the merry-go-round, it seems that real communication and closeness go out the window.  (OK, mixed metaphor, but it's after midnight here.  )
> 
> So now, at my age, it will have to be true love or nothing, and frankly, after this past year, I'd almost just as soon it be nothing.



I didn't actually jump in and out of beds.  I married at 18.  The first husband turned into a complete jerk, spent way more money than we had, claimed what money I made as his own, gave me VD, had an explosive temper and the sex wasn't even any good, I dumped him after six years.  After that, I was always looking for the right relationship.  But in those relationships we usually ended up in bed very quickly...again the sex wasn't any good.  My second marriage the guy was a rich kid.  He was fine until my brother went nuts, and the husband turned on me.  It took until my mid thirties for me to be courted.  But that relationship ended for a reason I will not explore here.  Then in my next relationship I fell deeply in love, and he died suddenly. I'm with my third husband.  He's a good guy.  If he passes before me, I'm not sure I have the energy to do it again.  I too would rather be alone than with just anyone. At this point it's about closeness, respect, intellectual compatibility and companionship.  Sometimes, just sitting quietly with someone is nice.


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## senile1 (Jun 2, 2016)

One of the most overlooked factors for a successful relationship is compatibility. When two people enjoy doing things together, maybe just watching television or sitting on the porch, each comfortable and confident in each other's presence. Without compatibility you , you have nothing. Is it more important than love and honesty, no, but it can be the one factor that may make or break a relationship.


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## Phoenix (Jun 3, 2016)

senile1 said:


> One of the most overlooked factors for a successful relationship is compatibility. When two people enjoy doing things together, maybe just watching television or sitting on the porch, each comfortable and confident in each other's presence. Without compatibility you , you have nothing. Is it more important than love and honesty, no, but it can be the one factor that may make or break a relationship.



I agree.  Relative to that, does a person give the other person the benefit of the doubt or immediately assume that the comment one heard that sounded like a put down was not that at all?


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## exwisehe (Jun 3, 2016)

To whom it may concern:  (never mind, I was just messing with ya)


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## Phoenix (Jun 3, 2016)

Hot dam!


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## senile1 (Jun 3, 2016)

Cookie said:


> True love is a myth of fairy tales and romance novelists.  In the beginning its all hormones anyway --- lucky if we end up liking each other after that wears off, which apparently it does after about a year, according to experts. When these old couples say they are still 'in love' I wonder how they define love.  I imagine they love each other like platonic old friends, minus all the 'magic'.




Because one has never experienced "true love", does not mean it does not exist. For everyone whom "true love " has eluded, there are many whom have found it. Tis not necessary to get with a baseball bat to know it exists.


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## Guitarist (Jun 3, 2016)

Phoenix said:


> I agree.  Relative to that, does a person give the other person the benefit of the doubt or immediately assume that the comment one heard that sounded like a put down was not that at all?



If it sounds like a put down and feels like a put down it probably is a put down.

As for compatibility, I've posted before on this BB about friendship.  I would never marry or want to be in a "relationship" with a man who was not my best friend.  Friends first -- compatibility, enjoyment of each other's company, trust, having each other's backs, best buddies -- then bring on the sex!  But only then.


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## Phoenix (Jun 3, 2016)

"I give to you and you give to me, true love, true love.  For on and on it will always be, true love, true love.  For you and I have a guardian angel on high with nothing to do, but to give to me and to give to you, love forever true." Remember this song?

There are many theories about what love is, what romantic love is...etc.  I've loved a number of guys in different ways.  Some of them I was in love with...it had nothing to do with hormones.  The day to day of a relationship can wear the romance thin, but if one can maintain respect, then "in love" does not have to end.


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## Lethe200 (Jun 3, 2016)

I'm thinking the definition of 'true love' is a personal one. What I look for and what someone else looks for is going to be different. 

I've been with my DH for over 40 yrs now. He's my best friend, my lover, a great companion. Sometimes I want to whack him upside the head, but I know he feels the same way about me at times too. I'm not the easiest person in the world to live with, so having someone who's more easy-going helps keep both of us balanced.

I can trust him and he can trust me. We can do something incredibly stupid and then confess it to the other, and know it'll be okay. 

But we don't assume we'll be together forever. Life very seldom happens that way. My mother outlived five husbands. His mom outlived two. We talk about and have financially planned all kinds of scenarios. What happens if one of us gets disabled? What should the survivor do if one spouse dies? 

Most things we do together, but not everything. There are movies he wants to see that I don't; friends I talk to about things that don't interest him. We both have serious hobby interests that keep us absorbed. We have separate offices, separate sets of computers, separate hobby areas. 

Sure, I'd miss him if he were gone, and vice versa. But life goes on, as our mothers proved. I lived without him for over two decades; I can manage just fine on my own. So can he (altho he's lazier about it, LOL). 

For whatever amount of time we have together, that's a gift, plain and simple. The laughter, the tears, the peacefulness, the problems we've surmounted - it's been a wonderful tapestry of life, to be grateful for. And when it's gone, the memories are still there, pure sweet gold.


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## SifuPhil (Jun 3, 2016)

Beautiful post, Lethe.


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## Guitarist (Jun 3, 2016)

exwisehe said:


> To whom it may concern:
> 
> I'm just as handsome as Levar Burton.



Lips and all?


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## Guitarist (Jun 3, 2016)

Phoenix said:


> "I give to you and you give to me, true love, true love.  For on and on it will always be, true love, true love.  For you and I have a guardian angel on high with nothing to do, but to give to me and to give to you, love forever true." Remember this song?
> 
> There are many theories about what love is, what romantic love is...etc.  I've loved a number of guys in different ways.  Some of them I was in love with...it had nothing to do with hormones.  The day to day of a relationship can wear the romance thin, but if one can maintain respect, then "in love" does not have to end.



George Harrison's cover of Cole Porter's song (recorded by George because his dad loved the song).


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## debbie in seattle (Jun 3, 2016)

I've experienced true knock your shoes off love once in my life, even at my old age I have such fond memories of that time in my life.   Life got in the way and we parted ways.   I met my husband and have been married 41 years now.   Knock me off my feet love?  Na, I've realized I'll never be able to experience those feelings again in my life, but my husband is a wonderful man, great provider, wonderful father, great friend to me and most importantly, willing to put up with me all these years.   When I parted ways with my one true love, one reason for my decision was that I knew I would never have that if I had stayed with him.  I'm so glad I was able to experience those feelings in my life though.


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## Phoenix (Jun 3, 2016)

Each relationship has things of value to offer.  I think the version of True Love I'm singing in my head was by Pat Boone.  He probably sang Cole Porters song at one point. George's version is not as melodious and romantic sounding.


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## Guitarist (Jun 3, 2016)

I agree, Phoenix, and he even changed the time from 3/4 to 4/4.  (But I still love it.)

Here ya go (with a really great picture of young Pat)-- 






I think maybe I first heard it on The Lawrence Welk Show; wish I could find that version on YouTube.


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## fureverywhere (Jun 3, 2016)

To whom it may concern:
 I'm just as handsome as Levar Burton.

Dang Have you seen that man lately? I mean he is fine. I just saw a picture the other day...If I were single right now, yes you would have my full attention.


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## Phoenix (Jun 4, 2016)

Personally, I've never thought of Levar that way.  I like him as an actor.  But that's it.


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## Guitarist (Jun 4, 2016)

> “You wake up one day, and you look at your spouse and realize you’re relatives.”



I just saw that quote online and thought of this thread.

That's the way it is to kids.  Your family is ... family.  You see your parents as related to each other just as they are to you.  

My former best friend told me one night, "You're family."

Three years later he hates my guts.  Go figure.


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## exwisehe (Jun 4, 2016)

Hey, I was just enamored by the "MMMM...mmmm" that the Fureverywhere wrote about.  My imagination ran wild.
(Sometimes my mischieviousness gets me into trouble) I think Levar is a fine actor.  I loved him in the first Roots presentation on T.V.


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## Shalimar (Jun 4, 2016)

Mischief is fun. Sometimes we become a too serious. Levity restores the balance, IMHO.


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## Phoenix (Jun 4, 2016)

It's fun to play with things.


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## Guitarist (Jun 4, 2016)

Phoenix said:


> It's fun to play with things.



Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!


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## Ruthanne (Jun 4, 2016)

Shalimar said:


> Mischief is fun. Sometimes we become a too serious. Levity restores the balance, IMHO.


I like getting silly sometimes!  Laughter is good for whatever ails you.  :thumbsup1:


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## Phoenix (Jun 4, 2016)

Ruthanne said:


> I like getting silly sometimes!  Laughter is good for whatever ails you.  :thumbsup1:



Sometimes it's all we've got to soften things.


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## Ruthanne (Jun 4, 2016)

Phoenix said:


> Sometimes it's all we've got to soften things.


Yeah.:yougogirl:


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## Phoenix (Jun 4, 2016)

There have been so many times I didn't think I could make it.  Reteaching myself to laugh helped.  Fake it until you make it, is what one of my teachers told me.  It helps some of the time.


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## senile1 (Jun 4, 2016)

Phoenix said:


> I agree.  Relative to that, does a person give the other person the benefit of the doubt or immediately assume that the comment one heard that sounded like a put down was not that at all?


One can always misconstrue a comment of another, but should be willing to discuss anything one is unsure of.


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## Phoenix (Jun 4, 2016)

senile1 said:


> One can always misconstrue a comment of another, but should be willing to discuss anything one is unsure of.



I agree, and in theory that can work.  But in the reality of my past,  most people I knew were not open to discussion.  They were right and  that was it.... Of course, some of these were husbands at the  time...serial monogamy of course.


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## senile1 (Jun 21, 2016)

Phoenix said:


> I agree, and in theory that can work.  But in the reality of my past,  most people I knew were not open to discussion.  They were right and  that was it.... Of course, some of these were husbands at the  time...serial monogamy of course.




When 2 are involved in a mutually loving and caring relationship, such discussions are rarely , if ever, one sided. A discussion is not a completion, but a sharing of views and opinions , which should be respected for it's validity by both parties.


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## fureverywhere (Jun 22, 2016)

When 2 are involved in a mutually loving and caring relationship, such discussions are rarely , if ever, one sided. A discussion is not a completion, but a sharing of views and opinions , which should be respected for it's validity by both parties. 

Exactly...you finish each others thoughts. Weird but yeah you've been together a bunch of decades and it happens.


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## Phoenix (Jun 22, 2016)

I had two husbands who wanted to control me.  People like that cannot have a mutually beneficial relationship.  I dumped them eventually.  I have a good relationship now.  We discuss things.  So I've kept him for nearly 26 years.  And yes, we do finish each others thoughts.  But sometimes we don't know what the other one has in mind, because we are each exposed to stimuli the other isn't exposed to.  That keeps it from getting boring and redundant.


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