# What would you do if someone wanted their inheritance prematurely?



## debodun (Nov 9, 2015)

Say one day someone that you had named as a beneficiary in your will called you and asked if they could get their inheritance right away, what would you do?


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## Lon (Nov 9, 2015)

debodun said:


> say one day someone that you had named as a beneficiary in your will called you and asked if they could get their inheritance right away, what would you do?



laugh


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## IKE (Nov 9, 2015)

I would decline, write them out of the will and then hope that they didn't put a contract out on me.


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## tortiecat (Nov 9, 2015)

I could never write my family out of my will.
They know my financial situation and I promised never
to leave them any debts.  I could and would give them
a loan if possible.


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## Pappy (Nov 9, 2015)

If they can find it, they can have it.


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## RadishRose (Nov 9, 2015)

I'd give it to them, as long as I had enough to live on. Knowing them as I do, they wouldn't ask if it were not desperate.


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## QuickSilver (Nov 9, 2015)

debodun said:


> Say one day someone that you had named as a beneficiary in your will called you and asked if they could get their inheritance right away, what would you do?



Laugh.... and go spend some more of it...


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## 911 (Nov 9, 2015)

Initially, I would be pissed, but if they had a good, no, very good reason, then maybe I would consider. Otherwise, they would have to wait in line like everyone else is doing.


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## Cookie (Nov 9, 2015)

Some people do pass on some inheritance money while they are still alive if they feel their children need it, for whatever reasons.  It seems rather miserly to me to make them wait until your dead before you part with a penny, hanging onto it until the bitter end, especially if you have plenty.  I don't see the harm in giving money early and enjoying seeing the kids benefiting while you are still alive.


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## jujube (Nov 9, 2015)

I'm trying to balance that out.  On the one hand, I'd love to pass out money freely to enjoy seeing them get use out of it and other the other hand, I am trying to help them by not needing help FROM them in my old age.   That might be the best present I can give them.  I don't want to be in my mother's position, needing financial help whenever something big comes up (needing new refrigerator, roof repairs, car repairs, etc.)  Luckily, there are four of us contributing to her upkeep.  I only have one child and I have no illusions about the kind of help I can expect.....


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## imp (Nov 9, 2015)

Too few choices, for me. But voted the 3rd.  imp


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## Butterfly (Nov 9, 2015)

I'd refuse.  AND, I think it's pretty cheeky to ask.  Ask for a loan, maybe, but to ask for your inheritance now makes you sound like a vulture circling waiting for someone to die.


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## applecruncher (Nov 9, 2015)

How about "Nah, that wouldn't be fair. I might outlive you."


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## tnthomas (Nov 9, 2015)

Inheritance?   If the creditors and attorneys don't take all, they can divide what's left with their siblings and step-siblings.


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## SeaBreeze (Nov 9, 2015)

I would likely ignore them and make no changes to the will itself.  But if they were in a desperate situation I would try to help them get through it with maybe a temporary loan and advice on how to avoid that situation in the future.  So that was my vote.  But....if they were really cocky about it, didn't really need the money just wanted it for petty or greedy purposes, and were snarky about me making them wait for me to drop dead first, I would definitely write someone like that out of my will.  Although I doubt a person like that would have been in my will to begin with.


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## Butterfly (Nov 15, 2015)

applecruncher said:


> How about "Nah, that wouldn't be fair. I might outlive you."



Love it!  Even in my screwed up family, I can't imagine anyone being crude and insensitive enough to even ask such a question.


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## Ken N Tx (Nov 16, 2015)

Butterfly said:


> Love it!  Even in my screwed up family, I can't imagine anyone being crude and insensitive enough to even ask such a question.



..Our children understand that everything we have goes first to the remaining spouse..Hopefully we have raised them to realize that the remaining spouse will need all that we have..


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## hollydolly (Nov 16, 2015)

RadishRose said:


> I'd give it to them, as long as I had enough to live on. Knowing them as I do, they wouldn't ask if it were not desperate.



 I'd do Exactly the same thing


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## Ken N Tx (Nov 17, 2015)

hollydolly said:


> I'd do Exactly the same thing



Hollydolly would you adopt me ???


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## maplebeez (Jan 5, 2016)

When our family member passed away, the attorney helping to settle the estate called to inform me, adult step-grandchildren, who had no contact with our uncle for over forty years, received notices from one of those heir locating companies, containing contact information for our attorney,  who they called demanding to know how much money they were entitled to & how soon they could expect to receive those checks. And once that money had been received & spent, those vultures had the nerve to call our attorney again to ask if there was more money they were entitled to.


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## AZ Jim (Jan 5, 2016)

I would give it to them, there should be enough for a nice MacDonalds meal.


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## WhatInThe (Jan 5, 2016)

SeaBreeze said:


> I would likely ignore them and make no changes to the will itself.  But if they were in a desperate situation I would try to help them get through it with maybe a temporary loan and advice on how to avoid that situation in the future.  So that was my vote.  But....if they were really cocky about it, didn't really need the money just wanted it for petty or greedy purposes, and were snarky about me making them wait for me to drop dead first, I would definitely write someone like that out of my will.  Although I doubt a person like that would have been in my will to begin with.



That's about how I feel. Too many look money as a tool or cup of sugar. Actually like a pen, how many times have you loaned out a pen and in front of your face it does not get returned. 

My take is that inheritance is a bonus, not an entitlement. And it's called inheritance for a reason because it's usually given out when someone dies, at the END of their lives. 

If one needs or wants money that much they should ask for loan, unfortunately many have learned through experience loans frequently are never paid back and become a defacto gift for which many actually count on.

I would write that person out and have a substantial sum donated to ASPCA so that person can see "their" money went to the dogs.


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## Underock1 (Jan 5, 2016)

The answer depends on the details. Reason asked? Ability to give. I would if I could.


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## Shalimar (Jan 5, 2016)

I would, and I have. It was the right thing to do at the time,  and I have no regrets.


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## Jackie22 (Jan 5, 2016)

Throughout the years I have helped my kids when they need it and as someone has already mentioned, they don't ask if it is not needed and they know it is part of their inheritance.


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## Bluecheese50 (Jan 12, 2016)

I like to give my kids money when I perceive a need, not that they would ever ask me for it.


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## Manatee (Jan 12, 2016)

I will be doing well if I do not become a financial burden to our kids.  They are both doing far better than I ever did.
























"A destitute snake hasn't got a pit to hiss in".


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## Babsinbloom65 (Jan 31, 2016)

Although I do have a life insurance policy that will leave them each a bit of cash after expenses are taken care of, the only thing I have given them now is the material things they wanted when we downsized to a smaller place. I know alot of people wait until they die to give children these kinds of things....but my thoughts are if I'm not using these things anymore and they want them...then it is nice to be able to see them enjoying those things while I am alive. My kids all do well financially...much better than we ever did so I couldn't really be much help to them in that area and I think if I was able to help them that way....I would have to think about why they want it before I could make a decision for or against something like that.


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## Eric (Jul 13, 2016)

I couldn't vote but I would ignore them and make no changes but I'd sleep with one eye open.


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## debbie in seattle (Jul 14, 2016)

I had a friend years ago who was furious at her mother because mom sold her house and was moving and this gal thought she should get her inheritance right then and there from the sale of the home.   Man, I never understood the thought process to that one.


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## jujube (Jul 14, 2016)

I sat down last night and seriously thought about this.  My conclusion was that I should pass out the inheritance right now while I can still enjoy seeing the joy on my descendant's faces when they get their money.  It was fairly easy......My daughter gets the quarters and 1/3 of the pocket lint, my granddaughter gets the dimes and the fuzzy breathmint and my great-granddaughter gets the nickels and the pretty little piece of gravel I've been carrying around in the bottom of my purse.  The rest of relatives can divide up the pennies and the rest of the pocket lint.  I feel so much lighter and easier in my mind now.


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## Sassycakes (Jul 14, 2016)

This brings up a memory of my older brother when my Mom passed away and we had to give her house to the nursing home she lived in for the last 4yrs of her life. My Brother was furious and said that the house was our inheritance. I told him that my Parents didn't owe us an inheritance. They took care of all of us when they were here. When my  brother got out of the army he and his wife lived with my parents for 5yrs to save for his own home. He had 2 children when living there and my Parents never took a dime from him.  Years later I lived there while my Husband was in the Navy.  When my sister married she also lived there until she saved up for her  own place. I will never understand my brothers view on things. He passed away a year ago and left everything to one of his children and nothing to the other 2. Strange !


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## Myquest55 (Jul 15, 2016)

911 said:


> Initially, I would be pissed, but if they had a good, no, very good reason, then maybe I would consider.



I would probably do that.  HOWEVER, I would make them sign a paper that says exactly what they are getting and why and that they have given up the right to any further claims on the estate.  Make sure this is witnessed and notarized!!  Family is family but this is business.  My aunt did this with one of her, two children.

We have outstanding loans to two sons and I expect those to be subtracted from their share, should anything happen to us before the loans get paid back.  There was a Q&A about that in the newspaper on how to do that, which I cut out and pasted in THE BOOK (binder with all our info) for the executor.


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## Carla (Jul 23, 2016)

There's no guarantee of inheritance--an illness or an accident could wipe out everything I have. It is possible to "gift" up to a certain amount, I think it's up to $14,000 without being taxed. No. You know, asking for an inheritance would probably not sit well with me. If there was some absolute dire need--like someone needs a kidney or something that serious, we'd have to discuss it--probably in the form of a loan. How can I be certain I won't need it? I didn't get an inheritance and I never, not even once, ever asked either parent for money, and that is as far back as I can remember.


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## Phoenix (Jul 25, 2016)

My husband's kids would waste the money.  If he passes first I will write into the will that they can only receive it in trust, a certain amount each year.  They have the maturity of ten-year-olds when it comes to money.  Oh, and by the way, they are in their mid forties.


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## debbie in seattle (Jul 25, 2016)

My oldest daughter OWES ME $250,000.00.       She'll never see another dime of money from me.


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## Phoenix (Jul 25, 2016)

debbie in seattle said:


> My oldest daughter OWES ME $250,000.00.       She'll never see another dime of money from me.



Good grief.  What a selfish child.  I'd actually rather fund a scholarship than give it to my husband's kids.  But half of what we have is his, so half will go to them.


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## happytime (Jul 27, 2016)

I did give my niece her's already, she is putting her daughter through college an I offered it to her. I figured she needed it now more than waiting 
till I died. She an her husband don't have a whole lot an they were glad I did. It's helped them a great deal. Guess you have to understand why
before you start handing it out.


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## Phoenix (Jul 28, 2016)

happytime said:


> I did give my niece her's already, she is putting her daughter through college an I offered it to her. I figured she needed it now more than waiting
> till I died. She an her husband don't have a whole lot an they were glad I did. It's helped them a great deal. Guess you have to understand why
> before you start handing it out.



That's a very loving thing to do.


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## Sunny (Aug 12, 2016)

Interesting question. It's probably too complicated to be able to answer with a simple yes or no.

What do they need the money for?  What if it's for medical expenses for a life-threatening disease? It's hard to imagine any parent turning down that request.

If they want it to pay for their children's college educations, that might be legitimate.

But instead of asking for an early "inheritance," it seems much more palatable to me if it's put in terms of a loan, where they will at least make an effort to repay it. 

We don't owe our grown children our life savings. There is a good chance that we will need the money ourselves before the game is over.


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## Phoenix (Aug 12, 2016)

Sunny said:


> Interesting question. It's probably too complicated to be able to answer with a simple yes or no.
> 
> What do they need the money for?  What if it's for medical expenses for a life-threatening disease? It's hard to imagine any parent turning down that request.
> 
> ...



I agree with you, especially regarding the fact that we may need it ourselves before we are done.


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## Butterfly (Aug 13, 2016)

Yes, asking for an early "inheritance" sounds so calculating and cold and vulture-like.  And I don't think grown kids realize that what we have saved up is all we are ever going to get, and we'll need it ourselves.  They can go out and earn money; most of us don't really have that option anymore.  Besides which, we don't owe our kids an inheritance -- it's not like most of us are aristocracy with an an ancestral estate . . .


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## Brookswood (Aug 13, 2016)

I've toyed with the idea of giving my children part of their inheritance early by offering to fund Roth IRA's for them each year.  That's about as far as I would go. I might need the money myself!


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## debodun (Aug 14, 2016)

Actually, it's not money I was referring to. I have a valuable antique (authentic scrimshaw) that a friend saw in my house and greatly admired it. It has the name "Sarah" engraved on it. I told her I would leave it to her in my will. About 2 years after that, she called me one day and asked if I would give it to her now because she wanted to give it as a gift to her daughter. I politely refused, she hung up and we haven't spoken since.


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## Butterfly (Aug 23, 2016)

I think it's pretty rude of her to ask you for it now.  I'd have said no, also.


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