Friendliness without the "IN" is a hard life.

W

WillieLump

New Member
Retiring 500 miles away from where you lived your entire life to a place where few people share your ideology and beliefs takes a lot of adjusting. Learning to navigate a new city and try not to get lost and be able to find your way back home. Being embarrassed about asking which parts of town to avoid in order to feel safe. But worst of all is losing your spouse of 56 years who was the only friend you had in this new place.
I never knew how to make friends. I'm lousy at small talk. I joined the senior center but never go because I'm an introvert. So here I sit feeling friendly but friendless.
 

I'm sorry that you lost someone so important in your life.

Have you tried starting small, always giving neighbors a wave or when in earshot calling out a "Hello?"

I'm not one to talk, I don't do small talk very well anymore myself! I suspect the only thing that helps there is practice. I know a few people casually who like to pose weird questions about dumbs things like preferences regarding this or that and I can fizzle quickly even trying to answer those. I feel like I either need to mull the issue over or I have far too much to say about it that I can't easily encapsulate into a conversational response.

The last thing I want to do is hear a polite query, even "how are you doing" and come back with an annoyingly long reply. 🤪

So I guess I'm saying don't feel alone about these difficulties. But welcome!

Greetings Yooperlite.jpg
 

Welcome to Senior Forums, Willie. l'm sorry for your loss of a spouse that was also a good friend for you.
I understand about your introversion which makes it hard to carry on conversation with people you don't know.
l have a suggestion but l'll wait for a short while so l don't hold up the works here.
 
I am sorry for your loss…and that you feel lost. But if you are looking for friends you have come to the right place. Something about forums is easy…you can share and always someone hears and will respond. Welcome.
 
I too am sorry for your loss. But maybe, force yourself to go to the Seniors Centre or join a Meetup group, or join some activity group that you would enjoy. I think it will make you feel better just to be surrounded by people. I know you said you are an introvert, but when you have lost your partner, just for your mental well-being, it's good to get out and about and meet people.
 
Okay, Willie, at top of the screen,on the far left there, is a list of various topics. Almost at the end of the list there's a topic called Games. You can spend your time there getting to familiarize yourself with some of the members without having to carry on any lengthy conversations or even any until you want to.
 
WillieLump said:
Retiring 500 miles away from where you lived your entire life to a place where few people share your ideology and beliefs takes a lot of adjusting. Learning to navigate a new city and try not to get lost and be able to find your way back home. Being embarrassed about asking which parts of town to avoid in order to feel safe. But worst of all is losing your spouse of 56 years who was the only friend you had in this new place.
I never knew how to make friends. I'm lousy at small talk. I joined the senior center but never go because I'm an introvert. So here I sit feeling friendly but friendless.
Click to expand...
I'm so sorry for your loss Willie. I lost my wife over 10 years ago. At the risk of stating the obvious, is it possible that you could move back the 500 miles to where you lived your entire life?
 

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