My Favorite Lawyer Joke

win231

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An accused murderer’s defense attorney was questioning a pathologist who performed the autopsy on his client’s victim.
Lawyer: “Doctor, Before performing the autopsy, did you check the victim for a pulse?”
Pathologist: “No.”
Lawyer: “Did you check the victim’s respiration?”
Pathologist: “No.”
Lawyer: “Did you check the victim’s blood pressure?”
Pathologist: “No.”
Lawyer: “So, doctor, you never really established that the victim was dead, did you?”
Pathologist: “Well, his brain was in a jar next to the table, but I suppose he could still be out there practicing law.”
 

A priest, a doctor & a lawyer were playing golf. They were getting angry because a group of golfers ahead of them were taking too long at each hole & holding them up so they complained to the greenskeeper who explained that the group of golfers were blind.
The priest says: “That’s so sad; I’ll say a prayer for them tonight.”
The doctor says: “I’ll talk to my buddy who’s an eye surgeon & see if he can help them.”
The lawyer says: “Why can’t they play at night?”
 
A lawyer makes out a will for an elderly lady, and she pays him with a crisp new $100 bill.
Later on, the lawyer discovers that the new $100 bill is actually two $100 bills stuck together.
His dilemma: Should he tell his partner?
 

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