Rate Your Marriage Against Your Best Friends' Or Siblings' Marriage

fmdog44

fmdog44

Well-known Member
Location
Houston, Texas
Posting this as I just heard a story from a friend about her friend telling her about how she envied her marriage. I mean what do you say to a friend that says they envy your marriage?
 

I knew a man who used to constantly say he envied his brother and sister-in-law's marriage. Firstly, his brother was a caring person - which he was not. There were many other qualities his brother had, that he didn't. I got tired of hearing it.

I don't, and never have, rated my marriage against a friend's, though I have had friend's who did so. They were never satisfied with what they had.
 
My BFF tells me that all the time-but her "man picker" is totally broken,sooooo.I will say one thing-she does realize how broken it is and ever since her last husband died in a meth fueled car race through the mountains (must likely suicide) almost 20 years ago,she hasn`t dated or even talked with a man since.

As far as my sibling`s marriages,they have,all but one,been married even longer than us. My two older sisters have been married 53 and 59 years. The one thing I can say about all of our marriages is that we each married the right man. Mine supported me through breast cancer like many men wouldn`t,my eldest sis has end stage COPD,and her hubby is there for her every minute of every day. My next sister is now battling breast cancer as well (a bad case,much worse than mine was) and her hubby is right by her side in the fight. I have had so many moments of realizing just what good men we chose over the course of the past several months. We all married very young-I was 17,they were 18 and 21. But we knew we were making the right choice.
 

I’ve had many friends tell me I’m lucky to have a man like I do but nobody has said they were jealous of our relationship. Many have said that we make a lovely couple, which we do but I have had people say that in their next life they’d love to be reincarnated as one of our dogs and I take them all as a compliment.
 
Well, I can't. I got married in 68 , divorced in 72. No kids, it just wasn't working for me. I was not happy.

My best friend [since the mid 60's] got married in 76, to a woman with one child, they had three more. He taught/coached soccer, softball, baseball , even taught Sunday school , the whole bit . Good family man/dad, no vices brought home the paycheck , his wife kept the house , was a stay at home mom.

I always envied him / respected him for it. And yes I told him so. 35 years later found out he had a brief affair with an old/ex girlfriend. Left his wife, married the ex G/F , then she just one day said she didn't want to married to him any longer ... So now he has two ex-wives, and his kids are somewhat estranged as well.

If I messed up ?...glad I did it when I did.

I wish he would have come too me when he felt the need to go/change, not that I'm so cocky to think that I could have changed his mind, but sometimes just getting things off ones chest can make a difference,

The ex G/F reached out to/contacted him after near 40 years.....I think she was wrong to do so. And yes I told him so.

Point being, I do not think we can ever really compare ...........jmo.
 
Keesha said:
I’ve had many friends tell me I’m lucky to have a man like I do but nobody has said they were jealous of our relationship. Many have said that we make a lovely couple, which we do but I have had people say that in their next life they’d love to be reincarnated as one of our dogs and I take them all as a compliment.
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I've had friends tell me I'm lucky too .. that's different from the one's who were always "comparing" their husband with mine (job, etc.)
 
Uptosnuff said:
I don't think you can rate one marriage against another. Every marriage, like relationships, is unique. What one person finds intolerable, another finds joy. If both people find enough joy, they stay together.
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This is actually very true. My sister whom is currently battling cancer is a big-no,HUGE-dog person.She has been showing dogs for over 50 years. She is gone every single weekend and then some.She even left their daughter`s wedding reception early to get on the road for a dog show. So she and her hubby really spend very little time together-especially before they retired. Now they at least spend a couple of days a week together...usually. Even chemo isn`t keeping her home-she just comes home for treatments and then she`s off again. On the other hand,my eldest sister and her husband worked together for 40+ years,as did myself and my husband.So for us,it`s like we`ve really been married twice as long as couples who didn`t work together lol.
 
Pecos said:
I won the marriage lottery 36 years ago.
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squatting dog said:
(y) (y) 48 here.
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Knight said:
You kids have a few years to go. 58 here and could never imagine comparing to anyone.
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Just celebrated our 44th last month while out camping. I don't think marriages can be rated really, but I have been told a couple of times over the years that I'm lucky to have such a good husband and marriage.....and I feel I am, grateful for that.
 
SeaBreeze said:
Just celebrated our 44th last month while out camping. I don't think marriages can be rated really, but I have been told a couple of times over the years that I'm lucky to have such a good husband and marriage.....and I feel I am, grateful for that.
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Me and Hubby just celebrated our 54th wedding anniversary in May. I think marrying the wonderful man I did made my wedding perfect,especially since he was on leave from the Navy during the Viet Nam war.
 
I guess rating a marriage depends on how man "exes" you have. To be honest, in my 20s & 30s, my main activity was attending marriage ceremonies. Most of the people I know have had two marriages. Of the first time marriages, very few of them are still together. But the most, who are still married , are on their second marriage. I don't know why two people can have a "great" marriage, and two similar people have a marriage made in hell".
 
fuzzybuddy said:
I guess rating a marriage depends on how man "exes" you have. To be honest, in my 20s & 30s, my main activity was attending marriage ceremonies. Most of the people I know have had two marriages. Of the first time marriages, very few of them are still together. But the most, who are still married , are on their second marriage. I don't know why two people can have a "great" marriage, and two similar people have a marriage made in hell".
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Like many of you, I don't compare quality of relationships. But my bride and I will have 67 years of happy married life together this November. A good friend who is the same age as I am is single with four ex-wives. I know I wouldn't trade places with him.
 


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