Would You Buy a Grave Stone For Someone Who Died Over 50 Years Ago?

Paladin1950

Paladin1950

Still love 50's & 60's music!
Location
Mohawk Valley, NY
My older sister informed me that she bought a small grave stone for our grandmother (mother's side) who died in October of 1957. I have always thought that our grandfather should have been the one who bought it back in 1957. Of course he was more interested in his sister-in-law. She didn't ask me to help pay for it, but I think she was hoping that I would.

I told her that Gram has been dead for 67 years. My view is that I don't want to waste money on something from the far distant past. I want to save my money for something in the future or near future. You never know what lies ahead. That's what I want to use my money for.

Would you buy a gravestone for a family member that died over 50 years ago? If you are rich, then of course. But if you are not.....
 

My Aunt, that basically raised me (both parents worked) died in '81 and is buried in Anna, Illinois. Her headstone is pretty small, maybe the size of a shoebox. I haven't been there in many years, but have considered getting her something more appropriate for all she did.

So to answer the question, yes, if one feels the need to buy a "better" stone for a deceased loved one, go for it!
 
Paladin1950 said:
My older sister informed me that she bought a small grave stone for our grandmother (mother's side) who died in October of 1957. I have always thought that our grandfather should have been the one who bought it back in 1957. Of course he was more interested in his sister-in-law. She didn't ask me to help pay for it, but I think she was hoping that I would.

I told her that Gram has been dead for 67 years. My view is that I don't want to waste money on something from the far distant past. I want to save my money for something in the future or near future. You never know what lies ahead. That's what I want to use my money for.

Would you buy a gravestone for a family member that died over 50 years ago? If you are rich, then of course. But if you are not.....
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yes if I was rich or could afford it... no..otherwise...
 

I would.

In 1989, I paid to have my grandmother's headstone engraved. The family argued for 10 years that the engraving was already paid for and the engraver just didn't do the job. Since I was living in the city where Gramma was buried, I went and talked to the engraver. He's right, he got paid for the stone, which was already on her grave, but he never got paid for the lettering.

So we figured out what to engrave on it, and I paid him. I went to her burial site a week later, and it was done, plus, he added a bonus that I couldn't afford at the time - an image of her religion's most famous temple.
 
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Paladin1950 said:
Would you buy a gravestone for a family member that died over 50 years ago? If you are rich, then of course. But if you are not.....
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Graves are for the living. That is my belief. No single rectangle of earth is a substitute for the memories one carries with us.

That said, there can be good reasons for doing as your sister requests. If it fills a hole in her heart, if it makes her happy, then why not? How much is a gravestone these days? In other words, depending on the stone she intends to get, it may be relatively little money to make your sister happy. Your family member has passed, so there is no difference to them.
 
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Paladin1950 said:
My older sister informed me that she bought a small grave stone for our grandmother (mother's side) who died in October of 1957. I have always thought that our grandfather should have been the one who bought it back in 1957. Of course he was more interested in his sister-in-law. She didn't ask me to help pay for it, but I think she was hoping that I would.

I told her that Gram has been dead for 67 years. My view is that I don't want to waste money on something from the far distant past. I want to save my money for something in the future or near future. You never know what lies ahead. That's what I want to use my money for.

Would you buy a gravestone for a family member that died over 50 years ago? If you are rich, then of course. But if you are not.....
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I would chip in. She may be dead but her headstone, therefore an honor to her, will hopefully be around a lot longer.
 
hearlady said:
Actually @Paladin1950 , did you know her well enough to know or sense what she would want?
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From what I remember of her (she died when I was 7) she probably wouldn't have minded. She knew her children and their husbands were far from rich. She was rather humble and sweet, at least it seemed so to a 7 year old boy.
 
I did buy an engraved paver for one of the cat sanctuaries I follow. I had two favorite cat names put on it with a little sentiment. One name was Brandy (my profile picture) and Chloe, my favorite cat ever. Sorry Juniper and Talia. ❤️

It was a donation drive for them to help pay for the outdoor fully fenced in area they built. They sold a lot of them.
 
The original post was about it being 67 years since my grandmother died, not a few years. If it was just a few years ago, then I would. But she died during my 2nd month in 2nd grade. I am now 74. The stone should have been bought all those years ago. So no, it is way too late. None of us live any where near that cemetery. None of us will ever actually see the stone. So it's a waste of money in my mind. I'd rather spend my money on more important things that may require money in the near future.
 
Paladin1950 said:
The original post was about it being 67 years since my grandmother died, not a few years. If it was just a few years ago, then I would. But she died during my 2nd month in 2nd grade. I am now 74. The stone should have been bought all those years ago. So no, it is way too late. None of us live any where near that cemetery. None of us will ever actually see the stone. So it's a waste of money in my mind. I'd rather spend my money on more important things that may require money in the near future.
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I’ll vote with you. This is someone who you only have vague memories about. That’s enough. It’s your sister’s problem, not yours. This is just a piece of stone.
 


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