Is there power in old age?

R

Rose65

Senior Member
Location
United Kingdom
If so, is it valued and respected?

I am pondering on whether older people, 70 onwards, are in fact respected and their words of wisdom and experience listened to. After all, we have seen and done all that the young are experiencing. We know the pitfalls, the dangers and our advice should be heeded. What we lack in physical strength we more than make up for in wisdom. Or we ought to.

I suppose generally speaking, old age is revered in Eastern parts of the world but not so much in the West. I don't know if you would agree? Old people live in the extended family in many parts of the world but nursing homes are the destination for perhaps too many in the UK.
 

Rose65 said:
I suppose generally speaking, old age is revered in Eastern parts of the world but not so much in the West. I don't know if you would agree? Old people live in the extended family in many parts of the world but nursing homes are the destination for perhaps too many in the UK.
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I agree wholeheartedly.
 
Rose65 said:
I suppose generally speaking, old age is revered in Eastern parts of the world but not so much in the West. I don't know if you would agree? Old people live in the extended family in many parts of the world but nursing homes are the destination for perhaps too many in the UK.
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Sadly, I agree this sums it up pretty well. I won't be 70 for years yet, so not 100% sure, but it's what seems to be happening... and instead of seeking wisdom from those "70 onwards" as you said, I think it started to be more of a bother to listen to older people a few decades ago... it wasn't like that even when I was a kid. I wouldn't even guess what changed it.
 

Rose65 said:
If so, is it valued and respected?

I am pondering on whether older people, 70 onwards, are in fact respected and their words of wisdom and experience listened to. After all, we have seen and done all that the young are experiencing. We know the pitfalls, the dangers and our advice should be heeded. What we lack in physical strength we more than make up for in wisdom. Or we ought to.

I suppose generally speaking, old age is revered in Eastern parts of the world but not so much in the West. I don't know if you would agree? Old people live in the extended family in many parts of the world but nursing homes are the destination for perhaps too many in the UK.
Click to expand...
Unfortunately, most of the younger generation don't have much respect for their elders. I'm not saying they're all like that, but I'm speaking from my own experience.

Case in point....my late husband's 3 grown kids disrespected him by talking down to him. They never took any advice because they knew it all. It hurt him very much. They never took any interest in his life or his interests. Everything was about them.

When he was in the ER in critical condition, I called them right away to let them know. His oldest son told me to "hang in there". None of them bothered to come. Later, I was so angry with them because their father had sacrificed so many things in his life for them but they never appreciated it.

My point is....they didn't care as much as my late husband thought they did. Self-centered all the way. That's the generation that's left to take care of us? My husband use to ask me what he did wrong in raising them and I'd tell him he didn't do anything wrong. They were never taught by their drunken mother to respect other's because she never did either. They learned from her.

My late husband use to tell me not to worry if something happened to him before me because his kids would take care of me. I told him, no, they won't. They don't even want to take care of their own mother, who's 80, so why would they take care of me. It's a sad situation for many of us that are getting older and have no one.
 
Days past, elders passed their knowledge and wisdom on to the younger generation. Not so these days.

Rapid shift, indeed a paradigm shift in technology, to the digital age has turned that on its head. Now the younger generation has the lead to pass on its knowledge - often lacking in wisdom of age - to the older. Therein, at least in humble opinion, lies the conundrum. -Arnold
 
Colleen said:
Unfortunately, most of the younger generation don't have much respect for their elders. I'm not saying they're all like that, but I'm speaking from my own experience.

Case in point....my late husband's 3 grown kids disrespected him by talking down to him. They never took any advice because they knew it all. It hurt him very much. They never took any interest in his life or his interests. Everything was about them.

When he was in the ER in critical condition, I called them right away to let them know. His oldest son told me to "hang in there". None of them bothered to come. Later, I was so angry with them because their father had sacrificed so many things in his life for them but they never appreciated it.

My point is....they didn't care as much as my late husband thought they did. Self-centered all the way. That's the generation that's left to take care of us? My husband use to ask me what he did wrong in raising them and I'd tell him he didn't do anything wrong. They were never taught by their drunken mother to respect other's because she never did either. They learned from her.

My late husband use to tell me not to worry if something happened to him before me because his kids would take care of me. I told him, no, they won't. They don't even want to take care of their own mother, who's 80, so why would they take care of me. It's a sad situation for many of us that are getting older and have no one.
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That is so awful. Yet perhaps people learn their own lessons, everyone enters old age eventually.
 
We can only truly speak from our own experiences. My wife and I are in our 70's and our three kids, their spouse and children are all loving and respectful to us. Our oldest lives a long way away from us, but she still makes every effort to stay in touch and has come to us if either of us has been ill. Our other two live fairly close and they also are always in touch, seeing us often. They too are their when we need them.

We both know that our kids will be available and supportive when one of us passes on...
 
Timewise 60+ said:
We can only truly speak from our own experiences. My wife and I are in our 70's and our three kids, their spouse and children are all loving and respectful to us. Our oldest lives a long way away from us, but she still makes every effort to stay in touch and has come to us if either of us has been ill. Our other two live fairly close and they also are always in touch, seeing us often. They too are their when we need them.

We both know that our kids will be available and supportive when one of us passes on...
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yes that's all very well but what about other people's ''kids'' are they respectful to you as an older person in the same way elders were respected when we were kids ?
 
Timewise 60+ said:
Holly, I do not take responsibility for the behavior of other people's kids. If their behavior is bothering me, I leave...

I don't look to 'others' to define my own life. I look to my own for that.....
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yes that wasn't my point or the point of this thread TW... it's about whether elders irrespective of family.. are as respected due to their age ..as they once were ...

The fact is they are not. at least not in my experience. In fact if anything we're invisible to the majority of younger people.. I'm not 70 or over but even I find this.

there's a benefit in being ignored at times.. but overall and I a, aware of that old adage abut giving respect to gain it.. but if a door is going to be held open for me.. or a seat offered to me , it's rarely ever going to be a younger person, it's far more likely to be a Peer..
 
Holly, I cannot speak for you, but for me when I was a kid if I got 'out of line' I got a quick and painful reminder of what is expected from my dad or mom. Now days, you cannot hit you kids in public as you may be put in jail! But, you can wait till you get home...!
 
Timewise 60+ said:
Holly, I cannot speak for you, but for me when I was a kid if I got 'out of line' I got a quick and painful reminder of what is expected from my dad or mom. Now days, you cannot hit you kids in public as you may be put in jail! But, you can wait till you get home...!
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you can't wait till you get home here..it's illegal to smack the kids... and tbh that's what's a lot wrong with the world...
 
I’m a 70 year old woman. I’ve been invisible for a few years now. Some days that suits me just fine.
For sure, no one is lining up for any pearls of wisdom from me.
I just wish the younger generations would make an effort to read some history books.
 
Young people live more for the moment and don't consider the future or elders as worth much. As for how they treat elders? I've noticed it varies sometimes by ethnic group or location. I'm not 70 yet, but perilously close. This is a concern.

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hollydolly said:
you can't wait till you get home here..it's illegal to smack the kids... and tbh that's what's a lot wrong with the world...
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Ya, it is/was the law here also.... but whose watching? I'm beyond all that now as grandparents. Our grandkids are wonderful, and we would never lay a hand on them...
 
Colleen said:
Unfortunately, most of the younger generation don't have much respect for their elders. I'm not saying they're all like that, but I'm speaking from my own experience.

Case in point....my late husband's 3 grown kids disrespected him by talking down to him. They never took any advice because they knew it all. It hurt him very much. They never took any interest in his life or his interests. Everything was about them.

When he was in the ER in critical condition, I called them right away to let them know. His oldest son told me to "hang in there". None of them bothered to come. Later, I was so angry with them because their father had sacrificed so many things in his life for them but they never appreciated it.

My point is....they didn't care as much as my late husband thought they did. Self-centered all the way. That's the generation that's left to take care of us? My husband use to ask me what he did wrong in raising them and I'd tell him he didn't do anything wrong. They were never taught by their drunken mother to respect other's because she never did either. They learned from her.

My late husband use to tell me not to worry if something happened to him before me because his kids would take care of me. I told him, no, they won't. They don't even want to take care of their own mother, who's 80, so why would they take care of me. It's a sad situation for many of us that are getting older and have no one.
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Social media has been pushing the narrative for quite a while that Baby Boomers are the cause of the world's current problems.

A sharp increase in disorders that cause dementia and Alzheimer's isn't helping.
 
I don't know. I hear so many people refer to older people as crazy whenever they come into medical establishments. That always bothers me. I am getting closer to seventy with each passing year. I would hate to be called crazy just for being older and considered unable to assess my own needs. As for respect, I don't even see a lot of it at my age. I suspect it won't get any better as I go along.
 
I have not felt disrespected by younger people. I am invisible to them. At least to the younger people that do not know me.
Of course I live in Florida where we have an important older population. The youth around us grew up surrounded by a lot of old people and for the most part they excercise patience and show respect unless they do not receive the same back from us or are plain ignorant.
I believe that in the USA we have the tendency to disregard older people in general, and totally focus on the young population that represents our future whereas, in Asia and certain part of Africa, the elderly are highly respected.
I wonder if time and customs might have change things for the youth. For example the need to earn two incomes to live comfortably, the stress factor involved, the nucleus of the family dynamic is therefore changed.
 
Timewise 60+ said:
Ya, it is/was the law here also.... but whose watching? I'm beyond all that now as grandparents. Our grandkids are wonderful, and we would never lay a hand on them...
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ah but the kids can and do report to teacher, child-line, police etc, if they are smacked at home. I'm not talking about abuse of course, but general smacks that would usually let a child know that they were doing something wrong, is reported to the police and the parents get a criminal record, because of that law, children are no disciplined and they think they can get away with anything..and they do..
 
Here is a thought:
The preacher, in his Sunday sermon, used "Forgive Your Enemies" as his subject. After a long sermon, he asked how many were willing to forgive their enemies. About half held up their hands. Not satisfied he harangued for another twenty minutes and repeated his question. This time he received a response of about 80 percent. Still unsatisfied, he lectured for another 15 minutes and repeated his question. With all thoughts now on Sunday dinner, all responded except one elderly lady in the rear. "Mrs. Jones, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?" "I don't have any."

"Mrs. Jones, that is very unusual. How old are you?" "Ninety three." "Mrs. Jones, please come down in front and tell the congregation how a person can live to be ninety-three, and not have an enemy in the world." The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, very slowly turned around and said: "It's easy, I just outlived the bi****s."
 

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