I'm in a Situation I Never Thought I'd Be In

C50 said:
Obviously the subject of "current events" has caused friction in your family, personally I don't blame your son for setting boundaries. Who the hell wants to go some place where an argument is more than likely to occur? At least he is still trying to keep the family together, give him some credit.
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But it wouldn't occur. No-one wants to talk about current events. I'm not sure what prompted his text. Something set him off. I vented here to keep me from responding out of hurt or anger.
And you may be right in that we all could be reminded, but not in that manner. I taught him better.
Or maybe I didn't. I've been known to spout off before I thought it out. šŸ˜Š
 
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hearlady said:
But it wouldn't occur. No-one wants to talk about current events. I'm not sure what prompted his text. Something set him off. I vented here to keep me from responding out of hurt or anger.
And you may be right in that we all could be reminded, but not in that manner. I taught him better.
Or maybe I didn't. I've been known to spout off before I thought it out. šŸ˜Š
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He may have felt a reminder was needed in an election year.
 
hearlady said:
But it wouldn't occur. No-one wants to talk about current events. I'm not sure what prompted his text. Something set him off. I vented here to keep me from responding out of hurt or anger.
And you may be right in that we all could be reminded, but not in that manner. I taught him better.
Or maybe I didn't. I've been known to spout off before I thought it out. šŸ˜Š
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Maybe your son is hearing lots of discussion online about families cutting each other off all over the place because of 'current events'. I've been hearing about friends excommunicating one another, divorce papers being served, and yes, families separating. Maybe think of it as your son caring enough about all of you that he doesn't want to take that chance. And maybe he's just not a good communicator so it comes off a little harsh, but coming from the right place.
 
hearlady said:
But it wouldn't occur. No-one wants to talk about current events. I'm not sure what prompted his text. Something set him off. I vented here to keep me from responding out of hurt or anger.
And you may be right in that we all could be reminded, but not in that manner. I taught him better.
Or maybe I didn't. I've been known to spout off before I thought it out. šŸ˜Š
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No sharp spoons at the table.
It will all be well.
 
My MIL managed to make every holiday, birthday or other celebration hell for me. One Christmas brought it to a boil. I took her aside and told her in a low voice that she is a guest in my house and that I expect her to act accordingly or there will be consequences. She took a deep breath, turned beet red and was quiet as a mouse for the rest of dinner.
 
fuzzybuddy said:
There is a reason we don't discuss politics in this forum. The urge to respond to that no good, brain addled jackass of a Neanderthal is just too great. I suggest that you have a rule that NO politics are discussed in your home. And I think you should enforce this rule by whacking the first rule breaker with the nearest blunt force object.
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I opt for real punishment such as doing dishes.
 
Most of my family live in the South East. So the Geo is far different.
A few years ago I drove many miles visiting, now Texted cards work well.

Built a large Pole Shed to house their Trailers and Motor Homes when they
come to fish & UTV the back Wood. ... :coffee: ... :cool: ...
 
IMO, people who cut themselves off from their family over political or other such reasons will be the ones who suffer most. Their lives will be lessened, and they will feel badly when their friends are celebrating family events (marriages, birthdays, Holidays, even funerals) and they are reminded that they are alone and they did it to themselves.

No point in arguing or fighting. Just stay open so that if he comes to his senses, you can help him pick up the pieces.
 
Tish said:
Seriously, this is bordering on blackmail.

You are by far a stronger and better woman than me.
I would have told him where to shove it.
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Not blackmail. Extortion. Blackmailers use extortion to get what they want.

Blackmail-
  1. Extortion of money or something else of value from a person by the threat of exposing a criminal act or discreditable information.
Extortion -

noun​

  1. Illegal use of one's official position or powers to obtain property, funds, or patronage.
  2. The act or an instance of extorting something, as by psychological pressure.
 
hearlady said:
It was a detailed explanation of what couldn't be discussed at the holidays because he is working to get negative energy out of his life. The consequences for directly or indirectly referencing these current events were that he and his family would no longer be spending time with us. It was longer with more directives but you get the gist.
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Dear Son,

The girls and I have discussed this and we've decided that in order to spare you any accidental negative energy and to spare ourselves a tense, nervous holiday, it would probably best if you don't come.

Love,
Mom

I probably wouldn't really send that, but I felt better saying it. What I would really do is some subtle sarcasm by way of a very old and mushy movie running constantly on the DVD player (don't take a chance on the TV!) and nothing but gushing raves about the presents, the food, the weather, the kids spilling cranberry juice on the sofa, the dog throwing up, and anything else that might happen.
 
hearlady said:
This is going to border on our "current events" but it is not the point.
It is about family and relationships.
I received a very dictatorial text from my son yesterday. Just to me, not my husband with a request to "put it to him" however I wanted to.
It was a detailed explanation of what couldn't be discussed at the holidays because he is working to get negative energy out of his life. The consequences for directly or indirectly referencing these current events were that he and his family would no longer be spending time with us. It was longer with more directives but you get the gist.

My first reaction was "Yeah, we said that last year, no current events and stuck to it." I relayed to him "Dad said the only time he did was when someone else brought it up." My son brought it up.
I got a smug "Well then it should be fine. I wanted to get it out there so no one comes back and tells me they didn't know it was a big deal."

Of course, it's settling in and I'm starting to fume. Maybe if I say it here I can bite my tongue and humor the man for the sake of the holidays.
If he would reread his text he would see that it is very selfish. So, I accidentally indirectly reference a current event and I lose my son and family? WTF?
I guess we are the deplorables who supported you your whole life and through all your many bonehead things? And I mean some major bonehead things!

Thank you for the vent. I can't believe we are part of something I never thought would happen in this family.
Bottom line I'm worried about him.
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That sucks! If it was me, I...actually- I don't know what I would do šŸ¤” because in our case we would know that it was coming from her...so actually- I would tell him that (as he knows how we feel about her) to leave her at home so he can have extra perogies.
 
Della said:
Dear Son,

The girls and I have discussed this and we've decided that in order to spare you any accidental negative energy and to spare ourselves a tense, nervous holiday, it would probably best if you don't come.

Love,
Mom

I probably wouldn't really send that, but I felt better saying it. What I would really do is some subtle sarcasm by way of a very old and mushy movie running constantly on the DVD player (don't take a chance on the TV!) and nothing but gushing raves about the presents, the food, the weather, the kids spilling cranberry juice on the sofa, the dog throwing up, and anything else that might happen.
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That's funny! I thought the very same thing about the movie. Something about family coming together and realizing how important family is. ā˜ŗļø
 
Della said:
Dear Son,

The girls and I have discussed this and we've decided that in order to spare you any accidental negative energy and to spare ourselves a tense, nervous holiday, it would probably best if you don't come.

Love,
Mom

I probably wouldn't really send that, but I felt better saying it. What I would really do is some subtle sarcasm by way of a very old and mushy movie running constantly on the DVD player (don't take a chance on the TV!) and nothing but gushing raves about the presents, the food, the weather, the kids spilling cranberry juice on the sofa, the dog throwing up, and anything else that might happen.
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Say it. But, donā€™t write it down especially on a computer or phone. You might accidentally send it. I would think twice then three times before sending the above message. Then I would wait another 72 hours If I decided to send it.
 
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