Why is it considered impolite to talk badly of your ex?

VintageBetter said:
@PeppermintPatty I'm very sad and sorry to hear about all the abuse you have suffered. I really am. If you found forgiveness was the right path for you, then that's fine. It really is.

I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm not talking about you - I'm talking about the many preachers I have heard over the years, 99.5% of whom have never even been through a divorce or domestic violence/abuse and yet, they are sure see themselves as experts on the topic.

You're attacking me at the end of your post because you're angry that your path is a path I cannot see for myself. To me, forgiveness means he gets to walk away scott-free and I go the rest of my life being silent about it all.

I just don't want to be silent anymore. That seems to be a hard ask of society, doesn't it? To let the hurt and damaged women speak. Straight men sure like to see us, preferably in various stages of undress, but darn it, we'd better shut up and not complain about that either.

I would hope that you finally called the police or at least a lawyer about what your dad did to you, even after the statute of limitations. That's what I would hope - that you would read some books on LAWS in your state so that you can at least imagine that child you were calling the police and writing a different ending to the abuse than the one you had in real life.

Here's a good beginner's law book - not so you can hate, but so you can know there are laws about what you endured. https://www.amazon.com/Law-101-Everything-About-American/dp/0190866322
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I’m done with you. I’m not in the states. I’m in Canada. I had my ex arrested for assault and battery and went to court . He got 2 years probation and wasn’t allowed to leave the country. He’d just got a new job where he had to fly around the globe. I ruined that for him and don’t regret it.
 

I don’t have an ex, but I have an ex-girlfriend of years back that did not good memories of me. But if we ever had the chance to talk, I would certainly apologize and I would hope she would forgive me as Christ offered forgiveness to me. Nobody is beyond redemption. And I am quite certain that her prayers, and the prayers of her friends, played a role in my Salvation.

But she is married and so am I, so that discussion may have to wait until we are brother and sister in Christ in our heavenly home.
 
there is talking badly which may be revengeful ;or vicious ; or untruthful and then there is saying it truthfully as you saw it ; felt it and suffered it - they are all different angles?
 
I don't feel any obligation to say nice things about my ex-husband primarily because he wasn't a nice person. He was deceitful in all aspects of his life (personally and professionally). He stole money, he was abusive physically, mentally and verbally and he was a chronic cheater. He could lie like no others.

However, I don't talk about him other than the occasional post about him on this site. He is firmly and forever in my past. I haven't seen him in over 15 years. I think he lives in Central America but I'm not sure. Wherever he is and whomever he is with, he is their problem.
 
First, its boring to most people.
Second, it makes it easy to live in the past.

i could trash talk my ex. She certainly left a path of destruction that created a lot of trash In my life and our children’s lives. So what?

IMO, living well is the best revenge.
 

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